#been thinking about how to make everything work andi think i finally got it

[ganondoodle]

(new totk rewritten- PREVIEW)

since this stuff takes a long while to think out, design and write .. heres a preview of the arm abilities ( just rauru edition for now)

the shiekah one and spirit abilities im still working on though i know what each does and how it looks/works, just gotta draw and write it all

i will add a detailed description on the full post once i have everything for it regarding the abilities

[padfootagain]

Only an Almost (IX)

Chapter 9: Testing Feelings

Hello!! Here is another chapter! Will Sam’s plan work???

Hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!!

*************************************

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU

Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!

Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.

Word Count : 2163

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

On paper, Sam’s plan sounded both brilliant and simple.

This night out with your friends did sound, indeed, like the perfect place to make you jealous.

Andrew had spent most of the evening with his friends, including you. You looked ethereal tonight, he wasn’t sure how you did this, how you could always make his heart skip beats by the mere sight of you. Perhaps, if he knew how, he would ask you to stop.

The group was now splitting into tinier cells, some levitating around a game of pool, others chilling by the bar, while some where still lost in conversation by the table around which you had gathered at first. You were off to get another drink. Sam leaned closer to Andrew, the two of them having remained sitting in the booth.

“The brunette over there is staring at you.”

Andrew frowned, before turning around to take a look, trying to spot the person his friend was talking about. It was easy to notice her, indeed. When Andrew locked eyes with hers, she didn’t look away, only threw him a flirtatious smile. He was the one to turn back to his friend with a blush.

“Sam… I don’t know if I should…”

“Ha! No! Don’t back down, now! We’ve talked about this, and this is the best plan we have. So, get out there, flirt with her, and see what happens with Y/N. This woman is perfect! She’s beautiful, and very clearly interested in you. So, don’t make her wait.”

But Andrew made the ice-cube of his whiskey twirl, and didn’t stand up.

“What are you thinking about?” asked Sam, who knew his friend a little too well.

Andrew swallowed back the lump in his throat, before answering in a whisper, still staring at the brown liquid in his hand.

“What if she doesn’t care? What if she doesn’t give two shites about me flirting with another woman? Do I really want to know the answer to that question?”

Sam rested a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder, squeezed for a few seconds.

“No, you don’t,” he answered earnestly, making Andrew look up again. “But you need to. You need to, Andy. Trust me.”

Andrew finally nodded, emptied his drink, and finally got up. He gave the woman a timid smile as he approached her. She was sitting at the bar, alone. She was pretty. In another life, he could have fallen for someone like her. But in this one, you were filling all of his heart already.

“Hi,” he spoke quietly, his voice deep and warm although a little hesitant. “Sorry to bother you, and feel free to say no if you don’t feel like it but… can I buy a drink, by any chance?”

She raised a playful eyebrow.

“I don’t even know your name,” she fought back, and he liked the way she smiled with mischief all over her features.

“Andrew. The name’s Andrew. And you are?”

“Marissa.”

“Lovely name.”

“Yours is pretty basic, but it’ll do.”

He couldn’t help but genuinely laugh at that.

“Hey, it gets the job done. You say it, and I come running.”

“And why did you come to me? I wasn’t calling your name.”

“Hmm… no, you weren’t. But according to my friend over there, you’ve been staring. Which is highly impolite. So, I thought I should buy a drink.”

“If I was impolite, shouldn’t I be the one buying you a drink?”

“You can buy round two and three, so we’re even.”

She laughed, and the sound was lovely. All Andrew noticed was that you were bringing drinks back to the table. You frowned, looked around. And then you saw him, and frowned some more, as if you had been searching for him, but were surprised to find him there, with someone else.

As he focused on Marissa again, Andrew could think of nothing but you.

“Well, you should buy me that drink, then, so I can quickly repay my debt,” Marissa answered, and Andrew ordered another whiskey.

You were looking at him and Marissa, Andrew wondered if his plan was working.

Daphne and Sam and the rest of the gang were somewhere else, lost in the dim lights and crowds of the busy pub. He was discreetly looking at you over there, standing near the table where some of your friends were gathered. Others were playing pool, some were simply scattered around the place. But everyone was lost in conversation… except for you. You were standing there, staring at him, with an unreadable expression on your face.

Did it hurt, to see him flirt with another woman?

Marissa rested her hand on his forearm. He didn’t feel anything at the touch, but he let her anyway. He even leaned a little closer, for good measure, staring at her dark eyes again. She was beautiful. You were all he could think about…

“When is this wedding then?” she asked, the tone one of conversation, but there was something syrupy in her voice that was meant to lure him in.

“In about four months now! Time flies.”

“Have you decided who you’ll go to the party with?”

He laughed, a little too loudly, just to show you that he was having fun. That he could laugh without you. That he didn’t need you.

He was lying through his teeth.

“Not yet,” he answered while staring right into this stranger’s eyes, making his voice a little deeper than usual on purpose. “Do you have suggestions?”

“I mean… I can think of a possibility… depending on what happens between then and now.”

She held up her open palm, and Andrew knew to place his phone in her hand. She entered her phone number.

“I have to go for tonight, but I hope you’ll call me soon,” she said, handing him back his phone, and her smile was tempting enough to melt a glacier.

Andrew nodded, gave her a wink. She moved closer to kiss his cheek, and he let her, bending a little to offer his skin to her lips. They were warm and soft, he could feel her lipstick on them. He wondered if you were still looking.

She gave him another warm smile; and he returned the gesture, bid her a goodnight and a safe trip home.

He didn’t look at you again, instead he grabbed his glass of whiskey, and downed the burning liquid. He turned towards the bartender and asked for a refill. He recognized your footsteps behind him, and he thought you would stop by his side, but you didn’t. You made a beeline for the bathroom instead, and his heart leapt in disappointment.

“Andy! Get your arse over here!” Alex shouted from somewhere behind him. “I need your word for a story! Daphne won’t believe me!”

Andrew shook his head, a fond and amused smile on his lips as he turned to his friends, taking his new drink with him. He kept an eye on the door to the bathroom while he joked with Alex.

“I was sick,” Andrew defended himself.

“We were thirty minutes before a show, when this guy just gives us the most cringy sound I’ve ever heard. Somewhere between a prepubescent getting hit in the balls and a dying pig.”

“I had the flu, and was completely stoned on steroids to keep my voice somehow functioning.”

“Excuses, excuses! He got us all panicking, thinking he wouldn’t be able to perform.”

“And I did!”

“How professional…”

“Thanks, Alex…”

“… to perform while higher than a fucking boeing!”

Andrew playfully rolled his eyes, making everybody laugh.

He caught a glimpse of your jacket as you hurried from the bathroom to the door of the pub.

“Ha… Y/N’s calling?”

“Fuck off,” he merely answered his bass player, making Alex chuckle.

“You’d better hurry before she leaves you behind.”

Andrew didn’t answer and merely followed his friend’s advice, emptying his drink before leaving the glass discarded on the nearest table.

You were pacing a few meters away from the entrance of the bar when Andrew stepped outside.

You froze as you noticed him.

“Y/N? You’re okay?”

You blinked at him, like a deer caught in headlights.

“Yeah,” you breathed.

You looked paler than usual, your eyes were a little red. He wasn’t sure if it was due to fatigue or tears.

“Are you sick? You want to go home?”

You hesitated, but finally nodded.

“Yeah, I… I think I’m gonna head home. I’m tired and… I had a bit too much to drink.”

“Give me a sec, I’ll grab my coat.”

“I’ll call a uber. Anyway… you’re not sober either, you can’t drive, Andy…”

“It’s almost one in the morning. It’s late, let me take you home, okay?”

“I… I’d rather you don’t.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes at you.

Did it mean that his plan was working? That you were jealous?

“Why not? Did I do something wrong?” he asked, feigning innocence.

You took a couple of seconds to answer, your expression still unreadable.

“No… no, you didn’t. But I don’t want you to accompany me. I don’t need your help.”

He was taken aback by your answer, by how much it hurt to hear those words coming out of your mouth.

“I just… I was just trying to be helpful.”

“You seemed busy enough tonight… Don’t you have someone else to go home with?”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Are you jealous?” he asked, trying to hide how impatient he was, how he hoped for the answer to be a yes.

You scoffed, hands coming up to rest on your hips.

“Don’t be ridiculous, we’re not dating! You can sleep with whoever you want.”

“You’re jealous,” and this time it was more of a statement than a question.

“I’m not! We’re not dating! We’re not exclusive! If you want to have fun with… whoever that was, then go ahead! Have fun!”

“We just flirted, nothing serious.”

“You got her number, that’s a win!”

You hesitated for a moment, but asked the question on the tip of your tongue anyway.

“What’s her name?”

“Marissa,” he answered, and you looked away as he spoke her name.

There was a tug to his heart… it came from both satisfaction and guilt.

“You know… we can make a rule about that,” he offered.

“About what?”

“About… the arrangement stopping if we want to sleep with someone else.”

You scoffed again, your arms moving once more, this time to cross before your chest.

“What makes you think you’re the only person I’ve slept with these past couple of months?”

You flinched when his face fell.

“Have you? Slept with other people while we…?”

The question remained suspended in mid-air, and Andrew tried to blink away the stupor and the pain that came with your words. There was no air left in his lungs, like a punch in the guts…

“No… no, I haven’t,” you admitted. “Have you?”

“No, I haven’t.”

You’re the only one I want, he wanted to add, but he didn’t want to spoil it all by saying something so stupid.

You remained silent, and so Andrew pulled out his phone and got a uber for you.

“Can you text me when you’re home? Please? Just to make sure you’re alright,” he insisted, and you easily yielded.

It took you a couple of minutes to walk closer to him again. He was surprised when you took his hand. He ran his calloused fingertips across your soft knuckles a couple of times before interlacing your fingers together.

“Can we… can we add that rule of yours? We stop our arrangement when we meet someone else?” you asked, fleeing his gaze.

“Okay, let’s do that.”

“So… are we going to stop our… arrangement? Are you going to see Marissa again?”

You didn’t see his reassuring smile, you were looking at the curb instead.

“No… no, I don’t think I want to see her again.”

You finally looked up at him.

“You’re sure?” you asked, but Andrew’s smile grew more tender as he nodded, and he let his free hand move upwards to rest on your cheek.

“I’d rather have you,” he confessed in a whisper, voice deep and sweet. He noticed how you leaned into his touch.

He wanted to kiss you, he wondered if you would let him… but then there was a car coming, and you took a step back as the headlights illuminated your frame while they came closer, like a halo around something divine.

“Goodnight, Andy,” your voice was soft and tender as you spoke, and he guessed that your words meant more than their usual meaning.

He gave you the most loving smile.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

He watched as you disappeared in the car, waited as the engines roared a couple of seconds before the vehicle started to move, stared as the car drove away.

He smiled.

You were jealous. You wanted him to have no one else. It meant that you cared. You cared. You fucking cared…

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#61: The Happy Ending (1.06)

The Grimes family is reunited.😭🙌🏽

That's it. That's the intro. 😋 Because we just gotta dive right in and break this super rewarding and moving Grimes family reunion all the way down. It's everything. 🥹...

First off - The way we WIN.

After so many years, we really got to witness our babies get their happily ever after with their babies. They won. We won. 🎉😭

And the biggest reason I say we win is because something that we love lives. Richonne's story has been able to live to its fullest potential and in the most captivating and fulfilling way. From the iconic start in TWD to this impactful conclusion in TOWL. 🙌🏽

When working on these TOWL revelings, I tried to have the majority of them written and ready before I even started sharing the posts in July to ensure I’d deliver on my promise and follow through to the end. These final Grimes Family reunion posts are the only ones I put off writing for a while because, as far as we know, this is it. 🥲 The last page we get to see of Richonne’s beautiful years-long story. The last new Richonne scenes to break down and revel in. 

Since TOWL was announced as a 6-episode miniseries, I’m currently approaching this final scene as the official conclusion of Richonne's story. I know Andy, Danai, and Scott haven't outright said they're never reprising these roles, and the more I hear their answers to the questions about a return, a part of me thinks they know they're coming back in some capacity, be it a cameo or more, and already have an existing contract perhaps, which is why they can't 'spoil' anything by confirming or denying a return.

The way I view it - if Richonne makes another appearance, I'm absolutely seated and celebratory. And if they don't, I'm absolutely satisfied and grateful for what we got. As the gift that keeps on giving, they've already given us over 10 years of golden Richonne content, and this Grimes Family 2.0 reunion put a lovely bow on top of this gift. 💝 It was truly a beautiful and fitting conclusion to their story. And most of all I want the Grimes Family to get to live happily and at peace together, so I'm more than elated with how Richonne's story comes to a close here. 😇

So, as the broadcast announces “A historic day to begin a new chapter for the Republic” - which of course Rick and Michonne Grimes would be the ones capable of bringing about a fresh, historic, and thriving new chapter for a whole city of thousands - we see a glimpse of Judith sitting beside her walkie. And then I love hearing Michonne on the other end say, “Shoto, it’s Daito.” 🥹

Ahhhhhhh the Grimes family reunion was happening! 🥳🥳🥳 And I'm so glad it's with the original actors too. 😭🙌🏽

I remember there was a period when some were a bit worried that Richonne wouldn't reunite with their kids in TOWL. For me, I felt so sure it was gonna happen because that was the only way Michonne and Rick would feel their mission was successful. And I love how it gets confirmed that they’ll be seeing the kids as soon as we see this walkie-talkie moment. 

...Even tho for some of us, the Grimes family reunion was basically confirmed a little earlier, when a certain two illustrious actors filmed a trip down memory lane in Senoia, Georgia. 🤭

Our lovely captains have a sweet little exchange during that great memory lane special that clued me in on what to expect. There's a part where Danai is talking about Judith and RJ and how she loved seeing Judith with the mini sword on her back. Then, as others also picked up on, Danai said something to Andy about how now Cailey has nearly outgrown the sword, and she seemed to think Andy could co-sign that she has. And that had my extra self’s ears perking up. 😋

Because Andy had been having to work double time to recall some TWD scenes he was actually a part of during this trip down memory lane - so I said to myself - Self, it is highly unlikely that he knows if Cailey, who he never had scenes with, is now outgrowing the sword…unless he’s already filmed a scene with her wearing the sword. 😏

gif cred: @nerd4music

So yeah, after that I was no longer even 1% unsure if Richonne would have their family reunion. It was happening. 💯 And the way it happened is Love personified. 👏🏽💗

It had to be such a euphoric moment for Judith to finally, after over a year, hear her mom on the other end of that walkie that she said she'd always keep with her. And it had to be euphoric for Michonne to no longer get static but finally get her baby girl on the other end. 🥹

I remember it was emotional watching Michonne and Judith's final walkie-talkie conversation in TWD, especially knowing they'd eventually fall out of range. And so it was a great feeling to see their walkies finally make a connection again.

I like the way it’s shot with the walkie on the steps and Rick’s holster and gun on Judith’s hip. Again, Michonne summed it up perfectly when she said Judith is her and Rick. And it’s sweet seeing Judith immediately grab the walkie when she hears her mom’s voice. 

Also knowing Michonne was able to reach Judith on the walkie, I think this would definitely imply that Rick was able to talk to or at least hear Judith before they see each other in person. I’d be so curious what that very first exchange over the walkies was like between Michonne, Judith, and Rick. I'd imagine it was quite emotional for Rick to hear Judith's voice on the other end for the first time. 🥲

So then there’s the return of Rick’s battle-tested cowboy boots as he steps off the helicopter. And I really like the way it’s shot as we just see his feet first and then Michonne’s feet join him. It feels like yet another way to illustrate and celebrate that Rick is no longer alone. The love of his life found him and now they really will be by each other's side for pretty much all things going forward. 

gif cred: @taiturner

As TV's greatest husband and wife step off the helicopter, we get to see Rick and Michonne more fully and I adore that they’re holding hands. 🥰 They always look so married. And as has been established, holding hands is one of Richonne's favorite things.

And then you know we gotta take a moment for Michonne’s outfit 🔥🔥🔥. Cutest outfit she’s ever worn. 👏🏽 I LOVE it. 🤩

gif cred: @alwaysthequietones

It’s great how they chose something that feels both fresh but also so true to Michonne for her final outfit and it just feels like she’s again getting to return to herself through the clothing. A fashion It Girl, through and through. 💅🏽

Michonne stayed proving an apocalypse does not have to stop you from stylishly color-coordinating and accessorizing. And I love the cowrie shells being back in her hair too. One of the last times she wore cowrie shells - a symbol of fertility - RJ arrived shortly after. So of course seeing the shells in this finale had my Richonne baby fever activated. 😋 It’s also great she got her katana back as well. That sword will always find its way back to its Mama Michonne. 👌🏽

And I of course also love that Michonne and Rick are wearing matching colors. A signature Richonne thing to the end. 😌 And Rick and Michonne matching in that tan color is great because the color scheme is giving "Must've been something else then." 😊

Then, I think it’s such a touching and well-acted moment when, before we even see the kids, we can tell that Richonne has spotted their kids from the way they react. 😭

Something about the way Michonne holds Rick's hand and then runs to her babies just feels like such a wife and mother and it’s so sweet. Like if you showed this running clip out of context to someone unfamiliar with the show, I feel they'd immediately be able to tell that who Michonne and Rick are running to is their children.

I love how Michonne drops her bag and just immediately runs to the kids. And then it’s precious that Rick sees his children for the first time and drops his bag as he eagerly runs to them as well. Goodness, this whole thing is just heartwarming x10, I can’t. 🫠

gif cred: @nat111love

And it gets extra heartwarming when we see Judith and RJ for the first time, sprinting to their parents with the biggest smiles on their faces. 😭😭😭 Richonne's babies are here. 🥹

gif cred: @alwaysthequietones

The way I rejoiced seeing the adorable Grimes kids running the first time I watched. 🙌🏽 I love seeing how ecstatic they are and the way Judith looks back at her little brother as they run. A true big sister. And of course, I adore that Judith is wearing the sword like her mom and her gun in her holster like her dad and that RJ is wearing his dad's signature Sherriff hat and dressed like little Carl. It’s all so perfect. 🥹

And for me, watching this scene would be the hardest Try Not To Tear Up challenge yet, because the way Judith and RJ smile and run into Michonne’s arms, and the three embrace - My heart bursts. 😭❤️‍🩹

gif cred: @riickgrimes

They all hold so tightly to each other and it’s precious. For a long while, the only Grimes family Judith and RJ had been used to was just the three of them. So it’s really sweet that the three of them have a moment to reunite after missing each other for so long. RJ's smile and Judith's face when she hugs her mom always makes me want to cry. 

gif cred: @nat111love

(Side note: There are people out there who ignorantly discredit and downplay Judith and Michonne’s mother/daughter relationship and that will forever be foolish to me (though sadly not surprising 😪). Judith has only ever known life with Michonne, and Michonne has been raising Judith since before she could walk. Their mom/daughter status cannot be denied. Interestingly, Judith is the one Grimes kid who has only ever known life with both Rick and Michonne. Carl was old enough to recall when Michonne entered his life. RJ is old enough to recall when Rick entered his life. But Judith doesn’t recall when either entered her life because her parents have been raising her since she was in diapers. They’re the only mom and dad she’s ever recognized. Yes, Judith knows Michonne didn’t birth her but that’s not the only qualification one needs to be a mom. In every other way, Michonne has been Judith’s mom for as long as she can remember. So when Judith looks at Michonne it’s clear she sees her mom, not 'the woman who looks after her', not her 'play mom' - her mom. 👌🏽)

I love that Michonne gets her own moment to reunite with her kids and that they let that moment breathe. Michonne is the anchor to this reunion as they all look to her as the connecting piece of this family right now. It’s realistic for the kids to take their time greeting Michonne because that’s the only parent they really know.

And just like Rick and Michonne had to do a lot of sacrificing on this journey, so did Judith and RJ.

These kids sacrificed valuable time with their mom so that she could go bring their dad back home. So I love that they get to have a moment of being just so elated to be back in their mom’s arms.

Rick stands in the back of the shot, as he anxiously awaits greeting his kids. I know Rick appreciated seeing this moment between the three and immediately seeing that his kids love and view Michonne just as highly as he does. He got yet another reminder that he chose the perfect woman to be the mother of his kids seeing the way his babies beamed and ran in Michonne's arms. 😊

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And then it is again so precious when Michonne and the kids look at each other and whisper "Hi" and just again have these joyous smiles on their faces.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

RJ’s quiet little ‘hi,’ 🥹 Michonne asking how they’re doing and acknowledging they’ve got so big since she last saw them, 🥹 the way they can’t help but smile and laugh, 🥹 and then when Michonne and Judith put their heads together. 🥹 I love every second.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Michonne finally gets to hold the two who fueled her to keep going even in the moments during this TOWL journey where it felt like all was lost. She was not going to let her kids down and she was going to ensure she made it back to them.And Judith and RJ knew their mom would make it back to them too, no matter how long it took. 

I also love seeing Michonne’s M bracelet in the shot. Again, she really came back adorned with gifts from her husband because Rick loves her the way a cherished wife should be loved. And of all the gifts Rick has given Michonne, we know she cherishes most the gift of their children. 💛

gif cred: @riickgrimes

It really is beautiful how we went from Michonne telling Carl one kid was enough for her to her now having four kids (…and counting possibly). And I love the way it's visible how Michonne's soul just lights up so brightly as she holds her kids in her arms.

So as the three embrace, Rick stands back and watches his beautiful family. And the way Rick is looking at them, it’s clear this is all so surreal for him.

It makes sense that Rick would hang back for the reunion as Michonne has a moment with their kids. It reminds me of how on Carl’s last day, Rick approached it like he understood Michonne and Carl needed their time together as a mother and son because he knew he was losing his son and Michonne was too. Also, it's evident during this reunion that Rick wants to be mindful of whatever contact Judith and RJ want with him.

So Judith gives one more smile over at her brother and mom, as Michonne adorably lifts up RJ’s hat and embraces her baby boy, who is not such a baby anymore, saying, “Hi there.”

And then Judith turns to Rick with a smile. As they look at each other, Judith becomes emotional and starts to cry. She walks to Rick and finally, after all this time, gets to embrace her dad. 🥹

gif cred: @twdfranchise

Y’all, there is a reason I put off writing these reunion posts for so long. 😭 This entire scene between these four makes me emotional for so many reasons.

I think it’s so sweet that Rick is letting his kids set the tone for how they want to interact with him in this scene. You know if it were up to him, he’d probably be bawling and pulling them into an embrace, but he also knows that he’s in some ways a stranger to them now. So the thoughtful way Andy plays it, I love that it’s clear Rick wants to let the kids decide what they’re comfortable with. And the second Rick knows they want to hug him, he so tenderly and lovingly hugs them back. 🥹

gif cred: @twdfranchise

The way he hugs Judith, you see how layered this moment is for Rick because he’s so happy to be back with his daughter and also sad to see just how much he’s missed as she’s done a lot of growing up in his absence.

Plus, during his time with the CRM, Rick had to devastatingly accept that he may never see Judith again and even tried to convince himself that maybe she'd be safer if he didn't come home to her and protected her from afar. I feel like hugging Judith right now, Rick probably feels so overcome with emotion knowing that he's actually getting to hold his daughter after thinking he'd never get this chance again.

Hearing Judith cry as she hugs him and seeing the fatherly way Rick holds her head and tries to hold it together while clearly feeling so many emotions. I cannot. ❤️‍🩹 My heart is moved during each part of this Grimes family reunion. 

While still hugging him, Judith emotionally says, “I knew it, Dad. I knew you were still out there.” It’s so sweet that this is the first thing she says and that Rick gets to hear that Judith never lost her hope that Rick was alive.

gif cred: @twdfranchise

While Rick came close to ending it a few times during his years away, he managed to stay another day and then another after that and another after that, and I like to think that day by day he was somehow subconsciously being fueled by his wife and kids belief in him. They believed he was still out there and that energy helped keep him here long enough to now be back with them again.

I also love how no one ever came and took Rick’s place in his family’s life because these three Grimes were always believing Rick was still out there. Judith held onto this faith that her dad was alive even when the odds of Rick being alive seemed low. It feels like Michonne modeled that example to her of continuing to believe. And their belief was worth the wait. 🥹

And then Judith looks up at Rick and says, "I just never wanted you to feel alone.” It moves me so much that while Rick was afar hoping Judith was okay, he now gets to know that his daughter had been hoping he was okay too. 🥲

gif cred: @twdfranchise

As a big sister myself, I just gotta say Cailey plays the big sister role so well. Especially when you’re the family-oriented and responsible big sister, you always just want to make sure everyone is okay. Your younger siblings, your parents, aunts, uncles, everybody. And I love that Judith’s big thing was wanting to be sure her dad never felt alone. That’s so caring. 😭

I also feel like her saying this is her reiterating why she encouraged her mom to go after Rick. On the walkies in Michonne's last full TWD episode, Judith told Michonne, "What if he's trying to come home too, but no one will help?" And she was spot on with that prediction. In TOWL ep 3, Rick even verbalized to Michonne that he had asked for help, but he didn't get it.

So even though it made Judith really sad to be away from her mom, she knew Rick might be alone and in need of Michonne's help even more. Never wanting her dad to feel alone was among the many reasons Judith urged Michonne to go get him.

And another thing that's poetic to me is that Judith is such a pivotal character in getting Rick and Michonne to meet the way they did. Had Glenn and Maggie not gone out to the store to get Judith's formula, Michonne wouldn't have run into them and brought the formula to the prison for her future daughter. Also, even the very night Rick and Michonne became an official romantic couple in 6.10, their couch moment began with smiling over Judith on the baby monitor.

Since she was born, Judith has helped ensure her dad didn't feel alone because her very existence played a part in Rick finding his ultimate life partner and soulmate, Michonne.

So next, Rick says his first words to Judith in years when he looks at her and says, “I thought I was..."

I like that he's honest about how he did think he was alone at first. There definitely was a time when Rick was confronted with the depths of loneliness within the CRM.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Rick continues, "Then I realized..." and I love that he looks over at Michonne as he says this. And the way Michonne holds RJ while smiling at Rick and Judith interacting again for the first time in years. 🥲

All those years in TWD, Michonne saw how much Rick loved Judith, and so it clearly means a lot to her to see Rick face to face with their daughter again. Rick and Michonne both just seem so present and grateful for this moment as parents.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Rick looks over at Michonne, knowing how instrumental his wife was in both his daughter being who she is today and in helping him realize what he says next - "I wasn’t.” 🥹

It’s really nice to see that Rick realized he was never alone because he always had his family.

When Rick tells Judith that he realized he wasn’t alone, Judith gets to hear Rick essentially say he realized her own little mantra that she wrote on her family drawing, “My family is always with me.”

Judith and Rick both know the sadness of losing your loved ones' memory, but I’m so glad they now have each other back to affirm that while the memory can seem lost, it can always be found again.

gif cred: @andremichaux

Also the way Rick says this line with such a tender tone and tears in his eyes and then he looks at Judith with a smile and blinks probably still trying to comprehend that this little lady in front of him is the daughter he last saw as a toddler. 😭

gif cred: @alwaysthequietones

And then Judith cries again as she leans in and hugs Rick and I’m a puddle of tears inside. Like when you think about how hard Rick fought for his daughter all those years on TWD, it’s just so special to now see him get to hold her and already get a glimpse of the great loving person she’s turned out to be.

I know Judith is about to feel so loved and protected by this great dad, and I love thinking about how they’ll now get to reestablish their bond and just have the best father-daughter relationship. 

It hit me that years ago, we got to see the very first time both Rick and Michonne ever held baby Judith and how it was a big moment for both of them. While she stirred up painful memories from their past, Judith was also this little bundle of hope for the future in their arms.

And then in this TOWL finale, we beautifully got to see Rick and Michonne hold Judith in their embrace one more time. 🥹

Michonne reuniting with her son and daughter and Rick reuniting with his baby girl were such golden TOWL moments.

With these touching exchanges, the Grimes Family reunions had all occurred. And now it was time for the big Grimes Family introduction. It was time for Rick to finally meet Rick. 😭

So we gotta bring it on home now and talk about the special, heartfelt, and rewarding final moment of The Ones Who Live. 🥰👌🏽

[cevansbrat0007]

The Green Light

Summary: Full Story! Andy is over the moon when you finally get the green light to be intimate again after the birth of your babies. But how do you explain to him that you're not quite comfortable with your post-pregnancy body just yet? Check out the sequel: The Green Light Afterglow.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Light Smut, Daddy Kink, Insecure Reader, Discussions of Post-Pregnancy Body, Discussions of Intimacy, Slight Lactation Kink Reference, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: I know this took a while. Thank you all for your patience and I sincerely hope it's okay. Prompt courtesy of an anonymous reader. Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. Warnings subject to change. All mistakes are my own. Please let me know your thoughts!

___

“Well, I’ve gotta tell you, my dear, by all appearances you’ve healed just fine.” You let out a sigh as Dr. Wilson, your OBGYN, removes the speculum. God, how you hated that thing. “You can go ahead and sit up.” You watch as he removes his gloves to make some notes on his mobile workstation. “Everything looks good. How have you been feeling lately? Raising four kids is no easy feat, especially when half of them are newborns.”

“Andy and I try to split the shifts as best we can. If he’s helping with the twins then I’ve got the older girls, and vice versa.”

“That’s good. One thing I’ve always liked about the two of you is that you believe in teamwork. You’d be surprised at how many couples don’t.” He makes a few more notes. “And how many hours of sleep would you say you get a night? Ballpark it for me if you can.”

“Um…” You have to think about that one. “Maybe five. Yeah, I would say about five hours a night. And I can occasionally squeeze in a quick nap during the day when the twins are sleeping. It doesn’t happen all of the time, but it’s better than nothing.”

The older man nods his head. “And how are Bianca and Katrina adjusting to the new additions? And by the way, don’t forget that you promised to show me pictures, because I certainly haven’t.” Dr. Wilson looks up from his computer and offers you a warm smile.

“I haven’t forgotten, don’t worry.” You tell him with a chuckle. “And they’re okay. Bianca loves to hold them all the time. And Katrina is enjoying being a big sister – she’s very helpful. She wants to play with them so bad, but she doesn’t quite get that they’re still a little too young.”

“I see. And is she still threatening to put A.J. outside?” The corners of his eyes crinkle as he struggles not to laugh just like he had when you’d first relayed your three-year-old’s initial reaction to your pregnancy reveal. 

“Oh, God. She’s only made that threat twice I think since we’ve brought them home. Once when he wouldn’t stop crying. And then again when she wanted to cuddle with me while I was in the middle of a feeding. Other than that, she’s been fine. He’s growing on her.” 

“Glad to hear it.” He mutters. “That’s usually how it goes. Give it a few years, and I bet they’ll be the best of friends.”

God, you sure hoped so. Just last night you had a dream about finding your little boy out in the woods. Except he’d somehow grown a beard, making him look like a baby mountain man. And, of course, he had been clutching that damn blankie too! 

“Well, you’ll be happy to know that I’m officially giving you the all-clear to resume any and all physical activity. If you have any concerns after we’re done here, you know I’m only a phone call away.”

Thank goodness! You couldn’t wait to start working out again. You were tired of rocking stretchy pants and maternity clothes. 

Your phone buzzes in your purse as Dr. Wilson finishes up whatever else he’s typing. It goes on for a while before it finally stops, only to resume buzzing seconds later. 

If you were a betting woman, and you were, you’d put your money on the person behind all the constant buzzing being none other than your husband, Andrew. You knew he’d been waiting for this day. Your man had been extra giddy this morning. So much in fact that you could’ve sworn he’d clicked his heels on his way out the door.

___

Twenty Minutes Later…

You wait to check your phone until after your appointment is over and you're safely back in your car. According to your phone, you have two missed calls from Andy Bear, along with three new texts.  

Andy Bear: Hey, baby girl. How’d the appointment go? Did we get the all clear?

Andy Bear: Can you answer your phone, please? I want to hear your sweet voice when you tell me the good news.

Andy Bear: C'mon! You’ve got me dancing on pins and needles right now. Call me.

You shake your head and then dial your man. He answers on the second ring. 

“There you are, sweetness! I was starting to get worried there for a moment.” The genuine concern in his voice has you playfully rolling your eyes. 

“Relax, Andy. Sometimes these appointments can take a while. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong, Dr. Wilson is just being thorough.” You check your appearance in the rearview mirror, noting that the bags under your eyes seem to look better than they have in days. “That’s part of the reason he’s been my OBGYN for so long, because he’s good at what he does.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. He’s great.” You know he's not being dismissive on purpose, it’s just that he’s chomping at the bit to hear one key piece of information. “How’s your little body? Did we get the green light?”

Ahh, and there it was. Sometimes Andrew Barber was like a dog with a fucking bone. And only your husband would refer to your body as being “little” when you were still walking around sporting maternity wear.  

“I’ve been cleared for all physical activity. Which means I can finally start working out again and –”

“Fuck, yeah we did!” He cheers into the receiver, loud enough to make you wince. “Alright, baby girl, that settles it. BiBi and KitCat are going to my sister’s for a sleepover and the twins will stay at grandma’s. Meanwhile, I’m gonna leave the office early to pick us up some dinner. How about we celebrate with some surf and turf?”

“Oh my god, Andrew! We are not leaving our two newborns at your mother’s house for the night. That’s too much!”

“What if she already said yes?” You have no doubt that your unrepentant husband is smiling hard enough to crack a tooth right about now. 

“You didn’t.” Your head drops to the steering wheel with a light thunk. 

“Oh, I did.” The sound of an eager chuckle spills across the other line. “Ma and Bill are happy to keep Rory and Junior. She said you left them with enough formula and diapers to get ‘em through and that she, and I quote, would be positively heartbroken if you deprived her of time with her precious new grandchildren.”  

“Andy…I don’t know…” As tempting as the thought of a night of uninterrupted slumber was, you were on the fence about being away from your precious babies for that long. 

RoRo needed to be rocked to sleep, while A.J. needed you to pat his little tush and bounce him just so. And they both needed approximately 1,375 kisses every five minutes, otherwise they got fussy. 

“You must really want a good night’s sleep, huh, Big Man?”

“Baby, when I get my hands on you, I promise that sleeping will be the last thing on both of our minds. Now, I’ve gotta run. But I’ll see you home around 4:00pm.”

“Andy…” 

How did you tell your husband that you weren’t really feeling your post-pregnancy body right now? You’d even taken to changing in the bathroom lately. Thankfully he hadn’t seemed to notice that increasingly bad habit of yours…

At least not yet. But it was only a matter of time.

“Hush, sweetness. You just let Daddy take care of everything, okay? I’ve been dreaming of this day for almost two months now, and I plan to take my time loving all over every inch of your delectable body. And what’s more, you’re going to let me.” You can practically feel your nipples pebbling beneath the fabric of your shirt. 

God, how did he always manage to sound so sexy when he was telling you what to do? Handsome ass buttface!

“I’ve gotta head into this meeting, but in the meantime, get some rest. You’re gonna need it.”

“Yeah, okay, sure.” You respond with a resigned sigh. “I…I guess I’ll see you when you get home then.”

“Damn right. Can’t wait to lose myself between those luscious thighs.” Andy rasps, with a slightly roughened edge to his tone. “It’s been way too long since I’ve had a taste…” 

Oh good God…and it had been way too long since you had to deal with beard burn. At this point, you’d almost forgotten about what it felt like.

“Bye, Andy Bear.”

"Goodbye, little love.”

The call ends, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Putting the car in drive, you pull out of the parking lot and start thinking of every argument you could possibly make to talk your sweet, although slightly ogreish, husband out of sexy times and into sleepy times. But there was also something that told you that might not work.

Which meant it was time to come up with a Plan B. And while you were at it, probably a Plan C too.

___

Later That Afternoon...

“This makes me look like an apple with legs.”

You stare at your reflection in the bathroom mirror trying your best not to give in to the overwhelming feeling of defeat. At this point, you’d tried on multiple sets of lingerie – all different styles, cuts, and colors. 

And this one had been the only thing that seemed to look halfway decent.

Well, the good news was that your ass was still there. But the bad news? So was your stomach. 

“Swear to God…I’m gonna find an ocean and throw myself in it.” You mutter as you stare at your reflection. You let out a resigned sigh as you do a little spin. “Knowing my ass can’t swim.” You gently smoosh your hand against your tummy in an attempt to flatten it. 

To be fair, you’d only given birth two months ago and the lingerie you’d purchased was kind of slimming so…

Maybe you were being too hard on yourself. Or, maybe it was still worth trying to convince your husband to settle for an evening filled with dinner and cuddles. You really weren’t in the mood to take your clothes off in front of him at the moment. 

Hell, who were you kidding? You could walk around wearing nothing but fishnets and tinfoil and the man would still find a reason to be into you. 

Sometimes your loving husband was a man of the hopeless variety. 

Plus, while Andrew Barber wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to do, he would definitely do everything in his power to persuade you. And he could be very persuasive when he put his mind to it. 

Yeah. You were probably fucked.

You take a deep breath and run your fingers through your thick hair, loosening and fluffing your curls. Although Andy would be home any minute, there was still time to throw on sweats and a t-shirt or something. 

“Fuck!” You hiss as your eyes well and your bottom lip begins to tremble. The other problem was that, while you were convinced that you needed more time, you also wanted to make your husband happy. But how could you when you could barely stomach the idea of taking off your clothes in front of him.

Just last week, some asshole at your favorite smoothie bar had the nerve to ask how far along you were – his intrusive gaze lingering on your post-baby body. His audacity had caught you so off guard that you were pretty sure that you’d given some unintelligible answer before snatching your drink and running towards the nearest exit. 

That one little interaction had practically eviscerated what little bit of self-confidence you had left. And while you hadn’t made specific mention of it to Andy, you might end up doing so – if only to plead your case. 

Which was that you were simply too large right now to be sexy, let alone feel attractive. Your skin was too loose, your stretch marks too prominent. And not only that, you were pretty sure that the only reason Andy wanted you right now was because he hadn’t gotten any in a couple of months. 

Once his itch had been sufficiently scratched, the haze would clear and then your husband would see your body for what it was. He would understand your need to undress behind closed doors, without an audience. And then he would give you however much time you needed to get yourself back into some semblance of shape. 

A lone tear slips down your cheek, which only serves to piss you off more. And although you’re quick to dash it away, another one is soon to follow. The last thing you needed for Andrew to notice you’d been crying. There was no need for both of you to feel bad about the state of things, you know?

With one last shake of your head you decide to throw on your robe and head downstairs to greet your man. 

“Let’s get this shit over with.”

___

Ten Minutes Later…

“Baby?” Your husband calls out as he enters the house from the garage. “Baby, I’m home! Where are you?”

“Kitchen!” You go back to busying yourself folding your brand new set of dish towels you’d purchased from Bed, Bath, & Beyond. That store was one of your happy places, second only to Target and Disney World. It also helped that there was one located almost directly across the street from the mall you’d stopped at as well.

Your pulse quickens as you hear him approach, his rapidly falling footsteps coming closer by the second.

“Ah, I found you.” Andy rounds the corner, grinning from ear to ear. “Hi, my gorgeous girl.” His smile somehow grows impossibly wider. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”  

“Well, here I am.” You cast him a demure glance over your shoulder. “Although, I’m afraid I’m probably not much to look at.” Noticing his hands are surprisingly empty, you attempt to change the subject. “I thought you were gonna stop and grab dinner on the way?” 

“I was.” He cocks his hip against the kitchen counter as loosens his tie. “But since you didn’t seem all that keen on the idea of surf and turf this morning I figured I’d hold off. Maybe see how we were feeling later this evening.”

“Oh.” 

“Oh? Is that all my baby has to say about that?” Andy tosses his tie onto the counter before unfastening the top three buttons of his light blue dress shirt. “Just oh?” 

“Uh, yeah. How was your day?” You were quickly running out of towels to unfold and refold. If you kept it up you were going to start looking like a lunatic.

“Too long for a man who’s been missing his wife the way I have.” His sensual purr is enough to make you weak in the knees. “It was fucking excruciating, Baby Girl.” 

Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye – fuck! Your dumbass just made fucking eye contact!

Your throat suddenly goes dry as the weight of his intense gaze threatens to overwhelm you. Andrew Barber always seemed to have this way about him. Only he had the power to unravel you in this manner. 

It was truly a skill that was his alone. But on days like today, it was also a major nuisance.   

“Come here.” The gentleness of his tone softens the command.

“Umm…” Instead of doing as you’re told you decide to shove those stupid towels you’ve been preoccupied with into a drawer. Which also happens to be the wrong drawer. Kitchen linens didn’t belong with the cutting boards. Anybody with some sense could see that!   

“Sweetheart…” Andy’s voice drops another octave. “Stop fussing with those and come here already. I’d really like to hold my wife.” His earnest plea has your eyes welling with tears.

“Yeah. Okay.” You sniffle out, before dropping the towel and making a headlong dash into his waiting embrace. He wraps his brawny arms around you then, tucking his chin into your thick mane of glossy curls.

The two of you stand there without moving. Holding each other close as your hearts beat in time with one another. Andy’s hand comes to rest on your lower back, his palm slowly rubbing in small, soothing circles. 

“What’s wrong, princess?” He hugs even tighter as you gently nuzzle your face against his chest, effectively wiping off what little bit of makeup you’d managed to apply earlier. “Tell me, please.”

Aww. Your sweet Ogre had even said “please”. 

“Nothing.” Which was also code for everything. 

Andy steps back to tenderly grip your chin, his thumb lightly smoothing across your bottom lip. “You know Daddy doesn’t like it when you lie.” And then he leans in to brush his mouth over your own. “Especially when you’re upset.”

“I know.” The words come out barely above a whisper. “And I’m fine. I just, um…” You go to pull away, surprised when he actually lets you. “I went and did a little shopping today. You know…cuz’ we got the green light. But – well, not the robe. Th–that isn’t new. But once I got it home and really looked at it, I um…” You throw up your hands as everything comes tumbling out in one jumbled mess.

“It just doesn’t fit right, okay? It probably didn’t even fit properly at the boutique when I tried it on and I just didn’t notice. Because the lighting was different and the mirrors are maybe a little more forgiving. Kind of like the ones you find in a funhouse. Except all of them were super flattering. Not like the one we’ve got in our bathroom here at home. Which…I mean that’s probably how they get ya, right?”

Your husband lifts a quizzical brow as you continue to ramble and slowly back away. You knew there was quite literally no possible chance you could manage to outrun your handsome attorney. But that didn’t mean you weren’t above giving it the old college try.   

“So, I’m just gonna go upstairs and peel this ugly thing off. That way neither one of us has to even bother looking at it.” You finish rather lamely.

“And why exactly do you think I wouldn’t want to look at you? How about you explain that one to me, please?” Andy growls, jamming his hands into the pockets of his trousers.                 

“Because I don’t like the way I look right now and I’m pretty sure that if I show you, then you won’t either.”

Andy stares you down, the muscle ticking in his jaw. But you were beyond caring at this point. Right now was about acknowledging the truth regarding your body and the level of comfort you had with it.  

“That’s bullshit, baby.” He rakes an impatient hand through his hair, moussing the auburn strands. “You know I love the way you look. I fucking adore you.”  

“And that last part may very well be true, Big Man.” You concede, toying with the material of your robe. “But I, um...” A lump forms in your throat, but you force yourself to press on. “I do believe you love the way I look when I’m pregnant, yes. So do I…mostly. And you also love the way I look when I’m not pregnant. As in, after I’ve lost a healthy chunk of the baby weight.”  

“What in the–? I mean, Jesus fucking Christ!” Your husband cuts himself off mid-sentence as he rocks back on his heels – as if stunned by your admission. 

“I’m saying this wrong.” Good lord, you needed to get a better handle on the direction of this conversation. “Fuck! I know I am. But I don’t feel very good about myself right now. I don’t want to take off my clothes. I don’t want you to see me in this lingerie. Because I am almost entirely convinced that once you do – once you see all that I’m currently working with – you will change your mind about wanting to sleep with me.”

“You don’t mean that.” Andy scoffs under his breath, which you ignore.

“And if I see that…if I see that switch flip behind your eyes when it finally clicks just how unattractive I truly am…I don’t think I could handle that.”  

As hard as this was, it was important for you to make him understand. And once you were finished, perhaps you could cook the two of you something for dinner.  After that you would simply settle in and enjoy an easy, child-free night.

“Meaning?” Andy grunts.

“Meaning, I’m not taking off this robe tonight.” You blow out a weary breath as your hands go rest on your hips. “In fact, I don’t even know why –”

“Are you finished yet, sweetheart?” Your husband finally interrupts, apparently having had enough of your tirade. “Or do you have more? Because I’ve gotta tell you, as nice as it is that you think you’ve decided all this shit for us, your Daddy has quite a bit to say. So, are you fucking finished?”

“Y–yes.” That strange lump in your throat is back. “But I –”

“Stop. If you’re going to be done, then be done.” Andy interrupts again, scrubbing a tired hand over his face. “Baby Girl…I know what you’re doing. Even if you don’t, even if you can’t see it. I do. And I’m going to put a stop to it right now.”

“I’m just telling us both the truth!” You cry before you can catch yourself. 

“No. You’re feeding us both lies. And I won’t stand for that shit. Not for another goddamned moment. I–I just won’t.”

The passion in his voice is enough to temporarily silence any forthcoming protests. 

“And what’s more,” Andy forges on, “you’re not giving me even a shred of credit here. Which, and I’ve gotta be real honest with you here, kinda pisses me the fuck off.” Now it’s his turn to sigh, although this one is filled with exasperation.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, looking down at your toes.

“Look. At. Me.” The authority in his tone has your head snapping up immediately. 

“Have I ever, and I do mean ever, in all the years we’ve been together, given you any indication that you are anything but beautiful to me?” He takes a step towards you, even as you take one back. “I quite literally worship the ground you walk on, sweetness. Which means that I occasionally notice things, even when you think I don’t.”

Your husband takes another step towards you, and then another. He’s getting closer, purposely crowding you with his big body – essentially trapping you like the predator that he was.   

“There has never been a time, not once, when I have been less than hopelessly attracted to you. I want you all of the goddamned time. And, you know, maybe I should seek professional help for this shit, but I don’t want to. I don’t need to. Because I love my wife. I adore every single inch of you.”

You jump when your back collides with the refrigerator, the cool surface of the stainless steel appliance piercing your skin through the thin fabric of your robe.

“So what is it, Baby Girl? What is that you’ve got under there that’s got you so convinced I’m going to be disgusted by what I see.” Andy levels you with a pointed look as his hands go to gently grip your biceps, caging you in. “What is it you’re trying to hide from me?”

You close your eyes when it becomes too hard to look at the man you loved more than anything - the man who was surely about to become your undoing.     

“While I appreciate your so-called brand of honesty, sometimes it hurts me when you talk about yourself like this. When you doubt yourself in this way. When you doubt me. Doubt us.” Andy briefly rests his forehead against yours before continuing. 

“How am I supposed to help you battle these insecurities if you won’t even let me in the ring, sweetness? Sometimes you make it damn near impossible to – fuck!” He hisses, breaking the almost tender embrace before reminding himself to pause. “Okay.”

“I–I’m sorry, Andrew.” This time you don’t bother trying to fight back the tears when they come. Instead you decide to let them fall, realizing that it might finally be okay to let your husband catch you.

Before you broke completely and shattered into a hundred-million little pieces.   

“Why on earth are you apologizing to me right now?” He cups your face with his hands as he brushes your tears away. “I’m not shaming you. I’m just…” He takes another calming breath. “I’m just talking to you. I thought we were expressing how we felt about things, weren’t we?”

“Yeah.” You give him a quick nod as more tears make their way down your cheeks.  

“Okay.” He presses a sweet kiss to your nose. “Then will you trust me to show you something?” Again you nod before allowing him to lace his fingers through yours and pull you in the direction of the hall.

“Wh–where are we going?”

“Hush.” 

He leads you down the hallway in silence, not stopping until you’re both standing in front of the full-length mirror located in the foyer. And then he reaches around to undo the knot on your robe, sliding it off your shoulders and letting it pool on the floor at your feet. 

“Well, would you look at you? Is this pretty little thing what you bought for me today?”

“Mmhm.” You breathe, resting your head against his broad chest while your man looks his fill. Andy smooths his hands up and down your sides, lovingly kneading your ample curves. “It was the only thing that I felt, um…like it might be okay.”

“You’re fucking gorgeous, Baby Girl.” Andy playfully nips at your ear. “You still trust me? Okay, good. Then let’s take this off, too.” He reaches for the skirt of your lingerie.

“But why?” You whine, attempting to wiggle out of his hold. Unfortunately for you, your Big Man refuses to let you go. “Wait!”

“I think I’ve waited long enough.” Even though he’s pushing you, you can tell he’s also trying to keep a lid on his patience. “We both have. You got to make your case back there in the kitchen, young lady. Which means it’s now time for your Daddy to make his, don’t you think?”

While you weren’t quite sure where this was going, you also weren’t sure if you were ready to use your safe word yet. If that particular rule even applied right now.

“I – alright.” You concede before lifting your arms so that he can help remove the flimsy garment, leaving you naked and bare to his gaze. Goosebumps rise on your vulnerable flesh as you shiver, but it’s not from the cold.

Safe to say, catching a chill was the last thing on your mind. You just wanted to get this shit over with, whatever it was, and then move the fuck on already.

“Be a good girl and open your eyes for me, little love.” Andy purrs, lightly running his fingers through your curls. “I want to show you what I see every time I look at you.” 

It takes you a moment, but eventually you’re able to do as you’re told. But instead of focusing on your own reflection, you choose to look at your husband – taking comfort in the warmth radiating from him.

You wanted to trust him. You really did.     

“Thank you. Now, I want you to do your best to hear me.” Andy begins as his hands come up to rest themselves on your shoulders. “You are gorgeous no matter what size you are. And I am consistently awed by the fact that you, my darling wife, just gave birth to two healthy babies a little over eight weeks ago. My babies.” You receive a tender kiss to the back of your neck.

Your lower lip begins to tremble of its own accord. But this time you don’t look away, instead you follow the path of his fingers as they trail their way down your body.

“It’s because of you, and your magnificent little body, that I’m lucky enough to have four pieces of heaven running around this house, making noise and causing chaos. Giving me both a reason to live again along with a few new gray hairs at the same time.” 

You watch as he lifts your breasts, hefting the erotic weight of them in his palms. He gently massages them, completely unfazed by the light dribble of milk leaking from your left nipple. Instead you’re treated to another roguish grin as his tongue darts out to greedily lap up the stray drops from his knuckles. 

“Fucking delicious. But stop trying to distract me, baby.” He rasps, his tone just shy of teasing. “We both know you’re not quite ready for me to feast just yet.” And then he winks at you, which suddenly has your legs feeling like jelly. 

Although you flinch when his focus shifts to your belly, the pads of his fingers tracing along one of your more prominent stretch marks. He keeps his touch light - bordering on reverent - as he marvels at the angry stripes painted across your skin.

The ones formed out of a natural bond built between a mother and her children. 

“I love this part of you. This part right here where you – aw, no. Please don’t look away from me, honey.” Andy moves to kiss away a fresh wave of tears. “Let me see those eyes.”  

“I…I...” Your mouth clamps shut as you stifle a hiccup. You grant yourself a couple of seconds before opening your eyes again. This time when you do, you gently place your hands on top of his. “I’m sorry. I know, you love this part of me because of the kids. And I get it, I do. But…” You shake your head and give up.

Because something tells you that perhaps you’d be better off just listening for right now. 

“Yes, I absolutely love this part of you because of our rugrats, but that’s not the only reason. It’s because, as much as I adore your tight little pussy and that spankable ass of yours, your belly has always been it for me.”

“What?” Now that has your full attention.    

“I’m not kidding.” He asserts. “I don’t think I’ve ever shared this with you, probably because I thought I’d run the risk of sounding dumb. But your belly has always been my favorite feature because it’s…it’s my anchor.”

Your husband’s heartfelt admission actually has the nerve to throw you for a bit of a loop.   

“I’m serious.” Andy continues, leaning down to press a hard kiss to your cheek. “There’s something about whenever the world feels like it’s falling apart all around me and then I reach for you, because that’s what I do. And you’re always there for me, my love. Always.” He gives you a light squeeze. “And without fail, you just let me hold you like this, wherever we are. And I just…I feel better.”

“Swear to God, I’m a grown-ass man, but this part of you brings me so much comfort. I understand the fact that you struggle with accepting your body the way it is right now, especially after welcoming the twins. But please believe me when I tell you that where you only seem to see your flaws, I see strength. I see incomparable beauty.” 

Andy takes that moment to fully envelope you, wrapping his arms tightly around your middle and burying his face in your hair. You allow yourself to stand there for a little while, drinking in the sight of your devoted husband holding your nude body.

You’ve never felt more loved. More cherished than you did right now.  

“Andy Bear…” You whisper, your voice filled with emotion. “I…I don’t quite see what you see. Not yet. But I do think I feel it now. More than I did anyway.” 

You let out a surprised yip when he spins you around. His intoxicating blue eyes bore into your own as his hands move to tease the globes of your ass.

“You should know that I wasn’t finished yet, princess. I just spent the last several minutes composing a sonnet dedicated to that greedy pussy of yours. Then there’s those luscious thighs, and that ass. I also never really had a thing for feet until I met you, but I’m particularly fond of those too. I’m prepared to wax poetic about it all because I want you to see what I see.” 

A laugh bubbles up in your chest. And when you decide to let it loose, it’s quite literally the most wonderful feeling in the world. You feel lighter than you have in days.

It’s enough to make you start crying all over again.   

“I love you, Andrew Barber.” You murmur, rising on your tiptoes to take his lips in a brief kiss. “And I know you had what I’m sure was one hell of a speech planned, and while I really hate to cut it short, I’m thinking I might wanna take you to bed now.”

“Oh?” His tone is rife with cautious optimism. “Is that right?”

“Yeah.” Giving in to impulse, you proceed to tickle his ears. He makes a show of batting your hands away as he playfully dodges your advances – much to your delight. Although he eventually puts an end to things by picking you up and holding you close.

“But can we maybe take it slow?” You ask as you snuggle into his chest, basking in the safety and security of his familiar scent. 

“Of course.” Andy murmurs as he spins on his heel and heads towards the direction of the stairs. “We have all night, my precious girl.”  

That was the moment you knew without a doubt. The moment you finally believed that everything he’d said, every word he’d spoken to you, had been nothing but the truth.  

And later that night, when you collapsed on the bed feeling completely sated with one another, you thanked your lucky stars that fate had led you into the arms of the one and only Andrew Barber.

END

For more about Andy and Reader's first time making love after welcoming their twins, be sure to check out the sequel, The Green Light: Afterglow.

[yourfavoritewitchbitch]

Badge Bunny Part V

Masterlist Here!

Summary: It all comes to a head with Roy. Will Gator let the sins off his past dictate his future or will he be the better man that he knows you deserve?

18+ Only! Minors DNI!

CW: Reader is referred to as "Bunny" or "Bun". Minimal use of Y/N. Canon type violence. Gun use. Gator is wounded - no graphic detail. Mild angst. Smut! Unprotected P in V. Creampie.

WC: 8.7K

“Something's going down at the ranch. I think Roy's finally lost his goddamn mind. Feds are headed over there.” Andy rushed out, breathless as if he'd run all the way here, face a little bloodied and bruised. He was still in uniform, though it was dirty and disheveled, sans his duty belt.

“Gator?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

He nodded, gaze falling to the floor.

“He's been there all morning.”

“What's going on? And don't lie to me Andy.” Pushing your finger roughly into his chest.

“I want the full story. Not some half-truth bullshit.” Tired of sitting in the dark, you needed some answers.

You took him to the back so you could talk in private without the whole bar hearing about the sorted affair. They would all know soon enough. Small town gossip spreads like wildfire, especially if it involves the Tillman family in any way.

Roy had the entire ranch on lockdown. He'd somehow gotten wind of a traitor in his midst that was feeding information to the FBI.

Andy was an immediate suspect. After the entire incident with your kidnapping and sending those blood samples off despite Roy telling him not to, it had earned him a spot at the top of the man's shit list.

“They had me tied up in one of the sheds. If it weren't for Gator, I…” he swallowed thickly, as if he were reliving it all once again. “I don't know what Roy would have done. He showed me some tunnel on the back of the property. Helped me escape. I flagged down a car once I made it to the main road and had them bring me here.”

“Oh my God, Andy! Why didn't he come with you? What the fuck is he doing?” You groaned, swearing then and there if he made it out of this shit alive you were going to kill him.

“He told me to place a call to the feds and made me promise to make sure you stayed put. There's nothing else we can do.”

You stopped pacing back and forth looking at him with a dumbstruck expression.

“What? So, you are working with them?” Trying to wrap your head around everything that he was trying to tell you.

“No, Y/N. Gator is!”

Not even Roy could have seen it coming. Everyone pegged Gator as the Sheriff's idiot son. A fuck up so blinded by getting his father's approval that no one thought for a second he could have been the informant.

If Roy asked him to jump, he'd ask him how high but that all started to change a little over a year prior.

There was only one thing that would make him flip on the old man in a heartbeat.

You.

He'd asked you to trust him. Told you whatever happened it was for the best. Now you truly saw why. He was taking Roy down. It was his way out.

“Andy, how am I supposed to stay put when you know what Roy is capable of? If he even thinks for a second that it's Gator…” You trailed off. Taking a seat at the edge of Henry's desk to let the weight of it all sink in.

“I think he's got this. There's nothing else for Roy to do but surrender.” He tried to reassure you with a half-smile but you saw right through it.

You sighed, standing back up.

“Let me clean that cut up for you. It's the least I can do. You're a good friend to me and Gator.” You grabbed the first aid kit and went to work. It was deeper than you thought, probably needed a stitch or two but he was dead set on keeping the both of you here.

After Gator helped Andy find the underground passage, he made his way back to the main house where he knew Roy would be waiting.

He took a deep breath before entering. Knowing his part, he has to play it cool just until the feds get there. He gave Andy strict instructions to let them know what they were going to be up against.

The kitchen was left in shambles. Roy told Karen and the girls to leave before they finished breakfast. At least he seemed to care enough to spare them from some of what he had planned that day.

From that point on it had been madness. He'd called in what was essentially his calvary. A lot of armed idiots that had no business holding a gun.

Somehow, he'd gotten word the FBI was coming to raid him. Gator was still unsure of where it actually came from, but he knew Roy had friends in high places.

He wandered down the small hall that led to the back of the house where Roy's office was, the door sitting ajar.

He didn't bother knocking, pushing it further open and taking a step forward. Roy's eyes shot up as soon as the door opened.

“Gator, what are you doing here? I told you to watch the goddamn shed with Bowman.” He hissed out.

“Yeah, uh… Andy and Bowman are both gone. Shed's empty.” His gaze fell to the floor briefly before looking back to Roy.

“Gone? Both of them?” His face flashing confusion.

“Yup. Suppose Bowman moved him? Ya’ give him the order to execute or somethin’?” He asked, trying to draw his suspicion.

“Fuck.” He gritted out between clenched teeth getting up and coming around his desk. “I didn't give any kind of order. Get your ass out there. Tell everyone to start looking for them.”

“Yeah, course.” Gator turned, making his way back down the hall and out to the porch telling the rest of the guys to start looking.

He was sure it had given Andy enough time to get to the highway. No one knew about that escape hatch except himself, Roy and the other being Bowman, who was currently unconscious and tied up in said escape tunnel.

He set about pretending to help look for the two missing men hearing the sirens in the distance, breathing a small sigh of relief. It would all be over soon.

As Roy stepped out onto the porch, pulling his hat down tight upon his head the caravan of black SUVs made their way down the highway stopping at the front gate.

He had the entrance blocked by his armed cohorts.

“Well, here we go.” He said, looking over to Gator with a sinister smirk.

“Dad,” he said, sounding more like a frightened boy than the man he was trying to be, as Roy turned back to look at him. “No one has to get hurt. Ya’ could just… just give yourself up.”

“Give myself up? You do realize you're going to prison too, right? It's not just me going down at the end of all this.” He fixed him with a glare before turning and mounting his mare. “Shut the hell up and find those two idiots.”

He nodded, biting his lip as he watched him mosey toward them, taking a leisurely pace as if he was unbothered by the entire scene. Roy seemed to see it as more of a nuisance than any kind of real threat.

He couldn't tell what was being said, so he made himself scarce trying to bide his time.

The feds already had a plan in motion. Gator told them about the hatch and tunnels that would lead them to the back of the property. It would be easy access and they could take everyone from behind while they were still occupied with the front gates. They knew once they had Roy the rest would give up without their so-called fearless leader.

Gator made his way to the back of the property, meeting about 10 men dressed in SWAT gear along with FBI Agent Joaquin.

“He's in his office, but ugh… y’guys mind if I have a word with him before ya’ barge in there?” He asked.

“I think we can spare a few minutes. I can give you head start but if bullets start flying, hit the deck.” He waved Gator off turning back toward his team ready to give their orders.

He made his way back to the house, hitting his vape trying to steel his nerves.

This time the door was shut, so he quickly rapped his knuckles against the smooth wood.

“Yeah?” Roy grunted, as Gator popped into view.

“Son, what the hell is it this time?” He was exasperated dealing with him for the day.

“I need to talk to you. Man to man.” He stated, coming to stand in front of his desk. Roy finally looked from the window to face him.

“Well, spit it out.” He hissed.

“The feds are on their way, already on the ranch. Thought it would be better to hear it from me.” Roy watched him intently but stayed silent letting him continue.

“If you had just left her alone.” He looked him dead in the eye as he spoke. “You tried to take away the one thing that matters most to me.”

Roy had gravely miscalculated just how much you'd meant to his son. He saw you as nothing more than a bump in the road assuming that Gator would eventually get bored of his new, shiny plaything.

He was losing that grip on him little by little thinking his only way to get it back was to get rid of you.

The kidnapping had gone according to plan, just like Roy intended, until it didn't. Those idiots he'd hired had gotten greedy. Threatened to let you go if they didn't get more money but before he could take matters into his own hands Gator had found you.

The FBI had reached out months prior, it was only after that stunt that he finally placed the call that set everything into motion.

“So, that's it then? Turn your own father in over what? Some fuckin' whore. I should have fuckin’ killed you a long time ago. You're nothing but a sniveling worm. I'm ashamed to even call you my son.” He was seeing red, reaching for his gun.

Gator grabbed his own, before Roy had the chance to flinch. His words had no effect on him. He'd all but given up hope of ever winning his father's affections and praise. He didn't care anymore. He had you.

“Don't.” He aimed right at Roy's chest, finger on the trigger. He never wanted it to end this way.

Shouting down the hall pulled Gator's attention for a split second, as his eyes drifted from their target giving Roy enough time to get his hand around his own pistol.

Two shots rang out as the swat team swarmed the house.

“So, what should we do? How much longer do we just sit and wait?” You'd finally asked after thirty more agonizing minutes. You'd both made it back out to the bar, taking a booth in the corner.

Your knee was bouncing, unable to keep from chewing your nails and looking out the window every few seconds.

“He wants you to stay put. So, we'll stay put.” Taking another sip of his soda, watching you over the glass. “Don't even think about it.”

“What? I wasn't thinking about anything.” The way you glanced at your keys sitting next to you told him otherwise.

“Y/N.” He warned, with a glare.

“Fuck, fine.” You crossed your arms, continuing to look out the window with a huff. “I'm going to get a drink. You want a refill?” Asking as you got up.

You had your back toward the door when an SUV peeled into the parking lot. A woman with short, dark hair got out and made her way into the door.

“I'm looking for a Miss Y/L/N.” She announced, looking around the near desolate place as she removed her sunglasses.

You whipped around.

“Um, that's me.” Voice coming out meek. You knew she had to be FBI. You suddenly felt sick, preparing for the worst.

“I'm Agent Meyers. We need you to come with us please.” Her curt tone left no room for arguing as your eyes cut over to Andy. He got up and met you both.

“I'm Deputy Andy Tate. I'm the one that called you guys. You mind if I tag along?” He didn't want to let you out of his sight, even if they were supposed to be the good guys.

She looked him up and down before nodding.

“Sure, follow me.”

-

Agent Meyers wasn't much for small talk. She had explained you were needed but didn't go into detail. Apparently, it was a need-to-know basis, and you didn't need to know.

Your stomach was in knots as you watched the world pass by outside. Andy tried to soothe you, telling you it would all be okay, but every doubt was swirling within you.

As you pulled up to that familiar gate and picture-perfect farmhouse that was anything but, you saw they had people lined up and handcuffed on their knees against the fence.

They'd managed to round up and arrest everyone. As predicted, when they found out Roy was done, they all gave up without a fight.

There were two ambulances, one pulling off as you all pulled in the other parked directly in front of the house.

“Where is he?” You anxiously asked.

“He'll be over there.” You opened the door and shot out running before they had the chance to come to a stop.

“Hey!” Meyers yelled, but you didn't hesitate. You needed to see him. Needed to make sure he was okay, and your worst thoughts had not come to fruition; make it all tangible.

He finally came into view, sitting on a gurney at the back of the vehicle. His shirt was removed. They were bandaging up his shoulder as you shouted his name.

He turned, standing up as you slammed into his chest wrapping your arms around him as the tears began to flow.

He groaned with the impact, pain shooting through his shoulder and back, but he didn't care, wrapping his arm tight around you pulling you into him.

Roy had managed to shoot him in the left shoulder, while Gator's aim had been much more accurate. A shot straight into the gut. He'd been taken by the other ambulance for emergency surgery and then he'll be swept off straight to a federal prison halfway across the country.

“Gator… I …” You sniffed, looking up at him. “I thought…” Your hands roamed his chest, easing over his bandaged shoulder taking it all in. Cupping his cheeks, your thumb running under a slight bruise that was blooming under his eye.

He pressed your head back to his chest, kissing your temple.

“It's okay baby. I'm okay. We're okay.” His words soothing as they washed over you.

You just held each other for a few more minutes before someone cleared their throat from behind you.

“Sorry to break this little moment up but it's time to go.” Agent Meyers spoke.

Gator nodded, as you looked between the two of them.

“Bunny, look at me.” His eyes pierced yours as he spoke calmly.

“We’re going to be okay. But I have to go with them. There's a lot of shit I did, that I'm not proud of I still need to answer for.”

You knew what he meant. For all the good he did, there were still things he would have to pay for which still meant prison time.

“I'm proud of you.” You looked right into those soft, hazel eyes as you spoke. He looked so downtrodden, but you lifted his chin.

“I'm so proud of you baby!” You stood on the tips of your toes, smashing your lips to his. They were a little chapped but warm as you melted into him.

It suddenly crossed your mind this may be the last time you get to feel him for a while as his tongue grazes your bottom lip. Allowing him entry, you glide against one another so effortlessly it was easy to get lost in the moment.

You broke apart only to catch your breath. Whispered “I love yous” were spoken before he was handcuffed in front of you.

“Okay, Mr. Tillman.” Agent Meyers guided him to an SUV, sitting him in the back.

His eyes were filled with worry as they shut the door, mirroring your own. Andy sidled up beside you as they drove out of sight.

5 Months Later

“You don't have to keep coming every week.” The way it came out let you know he was tired but so were you. Tired of him acting like you were just going to give up and leave him to rot in a prison cell.

Since he'd helped the feds, they had given him a nice plea deal with a reduced sentence of 18 months. With good behavior, he might be out in 12.

It was the best he could have hoped for with all the involvement in Roy's dealings, but Gator had given them enough to send him away for the rest of his life.

It was still going to be agonizing but you wanted to be there for him every step of the way.

“Yes, I do. Who else is going to bring you these nasty cookies you love?” You teased. Packing another overnight bag for your 8-hour trek.

“Y’gonna make me fat, if ya keep bringin’ those.” He chuckles on the other end. “But seriously, if the drives gettin' to be too much, ya’ don't have to.”

“I don't have anything else to do. I know that sounds pathetic but it's true. All I do is work, and then come home. The only thing that's getting to be too much is how quiet the house is. I miss you.” You said it earnestly, sighing into the phone sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I'm sorry Bunny, if there had been another way…” he trailed off, sighing on his end as well.

“No. Don't start that. I am so damn proud of you, Gator Tillman!”

Of course, it was all over the front pages, but they left out the part where he had been an informant. Everyone assumed the very worst about him, just like Roy. But he was your hero.

If only you could see the grin that split his face any time you told him that. The way his eyes lit up. He had sought Roy's approval for so long, it felt refreshing to hear that he'd done something right from the one person who truly loves him for him. All the fuck ups, all the short comings he saw in himself that you never judged him for. You loved him. You were proud of him.

“I love you, be safe. I'll see ya’ tomorrow.” He had his one-minute warning come through the line.

“Ok baby. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you more!”

“Not possible.” He grinned again, as the line clicked dead.

He'd been sent to FCI Sandstone, a low security facility in Minnesota. It was a little over 8 hours from Lehigh. Thankfully Roy was sent halfway across the country to a maximum security facility so neither of you would ever have to cross his path again.

In the few months that he's been away, it's been a struggle. You were left on your own again, but you could breathe a sigh of relief. The entire town felt like a weight had been lifted. No one was looking over their shoulder fearing they might be on the bad side of Roy Tillman.

Andy was appointed interim Sheriff, since half the department went down with the raid. Andy and just a few others were left to pick up the pieces and start from scratch.

He was a good man. Gator made sure that he was never implemented in anything to do with Roy or himself. He was doing a great job, weeding out the few left behind and hiring new, upstanding deputies to help run things. There was no doubt he'd be running and win the upcoming election.

-

You had your routine down, leaving out every Tuesday afternoon after your shift. Hitting up the same motel halfway there. Waking up before dawn to go the rest of the way. Spending Wednesdays with him at the prison.

They'd give you one-hour allotments of visiting time. You'd been his only visitor.

You drive through the gates, flashing your smile and waving at the guards. They knew you by name at this point.

“Hey Bill!” You greeted the guard at the entrance.

“Hey, Y/N. Must be Wednesday.” He chuckled, waving you through the X-ray. You knew the routine. Tossing everything into the bin to go through, then yourself. Pat down examination and you were off to the designated visiting area.

You'd always sit at the table closest to the window, furthest away from the guards. It was quiet. No one bothered the two of you.

You sat the cookies in front of you. The one thing you had actually taken the time to learn how to make and you'd gotten good at it. He loved them.

You were staring out the window, when the buzzer went off alerting you to the door being opened.

He walked out, hands cuffed in front of him wearing that prison issued bright orange jumpsuit you were now so accustomed to seeing. His hair was never slicked back anymore, but he kept the cut the same. Soft brown locks hung down against his forehead.

He donned that crooked smile that made your heart melt as he made his way over to you.

“Hi baby.” He sat across from you extending his hands as the guard unlatched the cuffs. He rubbed his wrists before placing his hands to the table.

“Brought your favorite.” Shaking the Tupperware in front of you, then sliding it over.

They allowed some touching in the visitor's area but not enough. You longed to push the hair from his face and kiss those lips you've missed.

He took the lid off and immediately dove in, taking a cookie and humming around the sugary taste.

“I think these get better every time, Bun.” Finishing it before looking back at you, a crumb at the edge of his lip. You reached up, and brushed it away with your thumb, lingering just a moment.

“God, I miss you.” You whispered, dropping your hand as he reached across the table intertwining his fingers with yours.

“I'm right here, and hey, if I stay off the naughty list I get conjugal visits next month.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively making you laugh and roll your eyes fondly.

“As much as I would love for you to fuck me senseless, you know that's not what I mean.”

“I know, baby.” The grip on your hand becoming a little tighter.

You fell into an easy conversation. You always told him about what was happening since he left.

“Spoke with Andy. They're expecting and he's absolutely over the moon. They're still planning on getting married, but they're going to wait until after the baby.”

You were still talking but he was hung up on that first part. He felt like a failure all over again. That could be you and him. Happy. Engaged, maybe even married. But no. He was stuck here because of all the stupid choices he had made long before he'd met you. He knew he didn't deserve you.

You stopped talking when you noticed his crestfallen appearance. Eyes glossy, and pouty lips.

“Hey, what's wrong?” You shook his hand lightly. “I know that look. Don't.”

“It's just…” he began but you cut him off. He got like this from time to time.

“I know what you're thinking. Stop, ok. We'll get our happy ending once you get out of this place.” You smiled.

A happy ending. What you truly wouldn't give. You'd both been through too much to not see this through.

“Plus, I'm moving closer. I can get another job, another place to live. We don't have to go back to Lehigh. Nothing ties us to that place.”

“Bunny,” his gaze softened. He truly didn't deserve you.

“Nope. I know what you're going to say. I've already made up my mind.”

“Fine, just make sure to clean out the house good before you do. Attic too.” You looked at him with confusion, knowing you had never stored anything up there.

He simply smirked and winked at you.

“Um… ok weirdo. If you say so.” You eyed him warily. “I…”

“Tillman, times up!” The guard shouted, interrupting you.

“I’ll call you tomorrow to make sure you got in, sweet thing.” He said, winking before his hands were cuffed once more.

You watched as the guard led him away. It was always inevitable, but it didn't hurt any less each time.

It scratched at the back of your mind on the drive home. He was so adamant about checking the attic. It was going to bug you the entire way.

This time you wouldn't stop halfway to rest. Making the drive back to Lehigh in one go, making a few gas station runs but nothing more.

You got in late that night, feeling dead on your feet as you walked into the house throwing your bag on the couch making a beeline for the hall where the access to the attic through the ceiling lay.

You reached up, straining, barely grabbing the thin string but you were able to pull it down as it fell open with a creak.

You took the rickety steps one at a time, grabbing your phone to use as a flashlight. Your head popped up looking around but not immediately seeing anything. To your right, there was a duffle bag you didn't recognize but this must be what he was alluding to.

Your hand gripped the handle, it was fairly heavy, as you brought it back down slowly, placing it on the kitchen table.

Taking a deep breath, you tugged the zipper, gasping when the contents were finally revealed.

The bag was full of cash. More than you'd ever seen at one time in your life.

What you hadn't known is that Gator found that bag when he had rescued you, immediately recognizing it because it was the same one, he had seen at Roy's a few days before it all went down.

That was his turning point. The final nail in the coffin. If Roy could do this to you, there was really nothing he wasn't capable of.

The feds had been whispering in his ear for a few months. After you had broken it off that morning, that was his first call. Even if the future with you was uncertain, he had to keep you safe and taking Roy down was his only choice.

As the initial shock wore off you noticed an envelope sitting to the side.

You tore it open immediately to find a handwritten note.

Bunny,

I figured sooner or later you'd find this before I got out. Knowing you, you're ready to high tail it out of Lehigh and I don't blame you.

Get out of Lehigh, you deserve better than this. Better than me. I never understood why you stuck around, you're too good for me.

On the off chance you still love me, there's enough to get you by until I get out, if you want to wait for me. I understand if you don't. I'm writing this knowing what lays ahead of me.

I know you're going to be pissed, but I did it for us. For our future, if you'll have me. I know I should have done it sooner, and I'm kicking myself for writing it in a letter instead.

There's a velvet box hidden in my sock drawer, if you haven't found it already. I promise I'll ask you proper once I get out. I love you Y/N, more than anything.

Love, Gator

PS- Got your necklace fixed. Missed seeing it around your neck.

Tears began to stream down your face as you clutched the letter reading it over once more before your feet started carrying you toward the bedroom you once shared with him.

You hadn't touched any of his things since he'd been gone. So, you'd never happened upon the small velvet box he was referring to.

You shoved his socks out of he way until your fingertips brushed up against it. You hesitantly pulled it into view, holding it in your hand until you sat on the bed.

You were still crying as you lifted the edges. Your necklace slipped out, catching it before it hit your lap. It had been broken during the kidnapping but with everything that had gone on since you hadn't thought about it but were now grateful to see it again.

Your eyes roved over the ring that was held within. It was simple, modest by most standards, but it was perfect. You'd never expected this from him.

It was a thin, gold band with three diamonds. A center cut with two smaller ones flanking each side. You hesitantly lifted it from the box, sliding it down your ring finger and holding it up to examine it more closely, as it caught the light and sparkled with your movement.

Finally, you clasped the thin gold chain back around your neck, holding the delicate “G” between your fingertips once more.

You knew he'd be calling around noon the next day, expecting you to have stayed at the hotel overnight. You had an idea, not letting on that you'd found everything laid out for you, instead surprising him on your next visit.

It was bittersweet, packing up your things and getting ready to leave Lehigh. The first home you shared with someone you truly loved.

Since you'd let him know you were moving to Minnesota to be closer to him, it had been a whirlwind of emotions and planning. Your next weekly visit was tomorrow.

In a week's time you had already found a small apartment for rent not far from the prison that would be perfect until he was released so you started the packing process.

During your calls, you'd never let on about the duffle bag. He couldn't say anything, so there was no way he'd mention it over the phone which played to your advantage. Keep him waiting and wondering.

Today when you walked through the gates you were positively giddy. Not only were you surprising him, but this would be your first conjugal visit.

Unlike before, they led you to a small room in the back of the prison. It provided privacy with a small bed and seating area, a counter dividing the room in two.

You were instructed to sit. They'd bring him in.

Your knee was bouncing with anticipation at the thought of finally being able to touch him after 6 long months of waiting.

The feel of running your fingers through his hair, his arms wrapped around you in a warm embrace, vibrating at the thought.

You moved the container of cookies to the small table in front of you as the door swung open.

Gator stepped in, a wide grin splitting his face, as he walked further into the room. His eyes never left you, licking his lips as he turned his body toward the guard so they could unshackle him.

“Alright Tillman, you've got an hour. Just be dressed by the time I get back.” He nodded, “ma’am” leaving the two of you alone.

“Hey, sweet thing!” He rubbed his wrists, watching you ease up from your seat crossing the room, quickly advancing toward him, barely giving him enough time to move his hands out of the way before you pummeled into his chest throwing your arms around his waist pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

“Damn Bun! Miss me that bad?” Letting a small chuckle escape, circling his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

“You know I miss you!” Melting further into his chest. The fabric of his worn, orange jumpsuit scratched at your face, but you just buried it deeper, breathing him.

You held each other for a few moments before finally lifting your head. As your eyes met, he moved his warm, calloused palm to your cheek before he moved in letting his lips crash to yours, nose pressing into your cheek as he tilted his head pulling you further into him.

He immediately deepened it, hungry for more. His tongue darts out, licking at your lower lip as you part your mouth for him. You hummed at the taste of him, almost making you weak in the knees and rushing a spark to your core.

You finally broke apart, panting as your foreheads came to rest together.

“It would have been a yes, you know.” You whispered. “You should have just asked a long time ago.”

His brows knit with confusion as he pulled away to look down at you, his eye catching the glint of gold around your neck immediately cluing him in to what you meant as his gaze softened, and a lopsided grin returned to his face.

“Yeah? That so?” He reached for your left hand, pulling it into view. The ring was situated on your hand perfectly. “So, you still want to be with me?”

“Of course I want to be with you! I love you, you idiot! And you absolutely are asking me properly once you get out of here!” You giggled as he lifted you excitedly, peppering kisses all over your face as you tried to squirm away from the sudden onslaught of affection.

“So, does that mean I'm fuckin' my fiancé today?” Setting your feet back on the ground.

“God, is that all you're worried about?” Rolling your eyes, slapping at his chest.

“No. But Bun, I'm dyin’ here. It's been six fuckin' months.” He suddenly pressed his hips into you, his already hard length pushing into your lower stomach.

“Sure you haven't fallen for your burly bunkmate? I know it can get really lonely in here.” You laughed, as he groaned.

“Real cute, Bunny.” He was walking you back as he spoke, suddenly lifting you up on the small counter stepping between your legs and crashing his lips to yours once more.

The kiss turned more heated as you both tilted your heads, melting into each other as you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him further into you by the collar.

He began to trail lower, kisses to your jaw to that little spot below your ear that has you releasing a breathy moan that instantly has his cock twitching between you.

“Oh fuck, I've missed those sounds.” He hissed out, helping you shed your jacket letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor reattaching his lips to you, trailing hot, open mouthed kisses down the side of your neck.

Your fingers trailed up his chest finding the zipper on the orange jumpsuit you've come to loath, slipping it down as he let you pull it from his shoulders, letting it fall open to his waist. He wore a plain white shirt underneath, fisting the material in your hands as he pulled your hips closer to the edge of the counter.

His hands drifted under the fabric of your top, sending goosebumps across your flesh, as they roamed higher. Raising your arms to let him discard it alongside your jacket.

He's quick to drift to the clasp of your bra, undoing it with ease, letting the fabric fall away from your chest as his large palms engulf your soft flesh, kneading it a little roughly only spurring that now prominent ache between your legs when his thumbs graze over your nipples causing your back to arch further into his touch.

“Oh fuck, baby!” You moan out, gripping the bottom of his shirt trying to pull it up. You were needy. It felt like a lifetime since you'd been able to give him so much affection. Feel his warmth, skin to skin, lips skimming over your soft flesh. Reacquainting with each other's bodies.

Once his shirt was discarded, his hands traced your curves sending a shiver through you.

Your eyes caught the scar on his shoulder that hadn't been there before. A harsh reminder of what he's had to go through.

He follows your eyes, as your fingertips trace over the bit of gnarled, dark flesh.

“I would take a million more as long as I knew you were safe.” Whispering between you.

“I know you would. I just wish you didn't have to. I love you.” Whispering back, moving forward to place a kiss there before placing another to his lips that quickly turned heated once again.

You pushed at the jumpsuit, he helped you discard it and toe off his shoes as you worked quickly on your jeans.

Once his attention came back to you, he helped you lift your hips and slide them down your legs. His hands were immediately back to you, roaming any of your exposed flesh he could reach.

He took a moment, pressing his lips to your forehead, hand to your jaw.

“I've missed you so fuckin’ much Bunny. I love you.” Leaning his forehead to yours, closing your eyes, feeling the warmth of his palm to your cheek.

“I've missed you too.” Whispering as he captured your lips once more, less rushed. His lips glide across yours, tongue ghosting along your bottom lip begging for entry as you parted them. Tongues moving against one another in a slow, passionate dance.

He closed the small gap, as you wrapped your legs back around him. His clothed length pressing into your core as your hips seemed to move on their own accord grinding down against him, catching your clit on the downward movement eliciting breathy moans from both of you.

His hand slips between you, finding the damp spot on your panties, pressing the pad of his thumb into the soaked fabric.

“Bunny, you're so wet. All this f’me? Fuck, I'm a lucky bastard.” He hissed out, finding the edge of your underwear pulling them to the side and letting his fingertip trace your slit before pushing at your aching entrance only breaching slightly, making your hips chase his hand for friction. He trailed up, finding your swollen clit as the pad of his thumb swiped deftly before pulling away. The band of your panties snapping back into place.

“You wanna move… this over t’the… bed?” He rushed out between pants and feverish kisses.

“Please.” You manage to get out before he's gripping your ass, hauling you up and over across the small room without his mouth ever leaving yours.

His knees find the small bed and tosses you down. The springs are a little hard and unforgiving squeaking under your weight with a small bounce that makes you giggle all the same as you lean back to stare up at him.

He's long and lean, looking a little more toned than you remember. Boxers doing nothing to hide his raging erection. His hard cock straining against the fabric, now eye level with you.

You reach up, tracing a finger down the length of him, leaving him gaping and throwing his head back.

“Fuck, I need you.” He hisses out, as you gingerly reach up pulling his boxers down his toned legs, finally releasing him. His length bobs against his abdomen, standing at full attention. Your cunt clinches at the thought of getting him inside of you. Never satiated properly for the last six months you were aching.

He didn't miss the way your thighs rubbed together as he looked down at you, as you took him in your hand, bringing your lips to his soft, ruddy tip, placing a soft kiss there before shifting your head as you ran your tongue up his entire length.

“Oh fuck, baby.” He pulled your chin up to look at him, as you smirked. “Hey sweet thing, as much as I would love to have your mouth, I need your pussy.” The end came out as almost a growl as he began to ease you back onto the bed, his fingertips grabbing at your panties as he practically ripped them from your legs as you heard an audible rip but you didn't mind as he tossed them somewhere across the room.

Crawling between your thighs, parting to accommodate him eagerly. His thick chest hair rough against your nipples, as he presses himself to you taking his length at the base, suddenly running it up your soaked folds making you moan out and arch further closing any gap between you.

“That's it baby. Need it as much as I do, huh?” He hummed, bumping your clit on the way up that made you whine as he captured your lips once more, lining himself up as his head catches your dripping hole.

Your hands grip at his back, running your fingers through the short locks at the nape of his neck pulling the strands when he pushes himself in an inch more.

The toys at home could never fill you the way he could with his thick, long cock. It began to sting as he pushed further. A moan caught in your throat, as your head hit the back of the bed, mouth going slack at the feeling.

“Goddamn, Bunny. You're so… mmmph…. Fuckin' tight.” He grits out, face turning soft once he looks up to notice your brows pinched tight.

“Hey, Bunny. Relax f'me, baby.” He coos, cradling your jaw, thumb rubbing soothingly under your bottom lip.

“I'm relaxed, you're just a lot, baby.” You finally say, opening your eyes gazing into his lust blown irises, nearly black save for the thin mossy ring around the outer edge.

“Yeah?” Lopsided grin returning. “Too much for that tight little cunt?” Not letting you answer before finally burying himself completely as your nails dig into his back with a near pornographic moan escaping your lips only spurring him on.

He slowly pulls out, feeling your walls stretch and flutter around him before quickly plunging back in, feeling impossibly deeper before rocking his hips into yours at a brutal pace.

The stretch and sting slowly subsides giving way to pleasure as he pushes in and out, a fresh wave of arousal soaking you both. You can't suppress the filthy moans falling past your lips.

“That's it baby, let them know how good I'm fuckin' MY pussy. Ya’ don't have to be quiet in here.” He continues roughly pushing his hips into yours as you gasp and writhe beneath him. The sounds of your slick as he drives into with each thrust would have you blushing, but you were too wrapped up in the feel of him to care.

The way your walls were sucking him in and pulsing around his cock, like you were made just for him, was enough to make him cum right then and there.

“Mmmph, Gator you feel so… g-good.” Managing to squeak out, the head of his cock continually massages that spot on your frontal wall with ease.

“Missed this pussy so fuckin' much. Been dreamin’ about the day I could… fuck… cum in her again.” His thrusts get more urgent, as your pussy flutters around him once more.

“Yeah, Bunny? Want my cum? Stuff you full until you can't take anymore?” You whimper at his words, that coil within you winding tighter with each in and out motion working you both toward your high.

He nips at the soft skin at your bared throat, gaining your attention.

“Huh, bunny?”

Barely able to think or speak at this point, you nod at his question knowing he wants an answer. He moves his mouth higher, taking your bottom lip between his, sucking lightly before letting it go with a slight pop. He loved you like this. Too cock drunk to speak and about to fall apart only for him.

He moves his hand between you, expertly finding your clit, as he begins rubbing circles against you working in tandem with his thrusts bringing you closer to the edge. Your back arched off the bed, crying out.

“Fuck! Don't stop!” You huffed out.

“Wouldn't dream of it, sweet thing. Need you t’cum f’me. Gonna leave you so full I'll be leaking out of ya’ for days.” Another whimper slipped out, just as that coil began to snap.

You didn't have time to warn him before your pussy clamped down around him.

“Oh fuck! There she is.” He hissed out, taking his hand from you so he could pound you into oblivion, chasing his own release while working you through yours.

Your nails dig into his shoulders, sure they were drawing blood at this point from the grip you had on him. Your orgasm hit so hard that your toes curled as sparks flew behind your eyelids.

A few more thrusts and he follows behind you, his dick throbbing and kicking up inside of your tight channel as his balls tightened, painting your walls with his spend. He continued to fuck it into you, cursing and panting before collapsing onto your chest.

“Oh fuck Bunny. Goddamn, I missed you.” It came a little muffled, his lips pressed up against you where his head lay in the crook of your neck.

“I missed you too, baby.” You hummed, as he finally pulled his softening cock from you, laying on his side, so you could be face to face kissing the tip of your nose and pulling you close.

“You're an idiot, if you thought I was going to run. We've come too far to give up now.” You whispered, with warm affection and brushing his hair softly from his forehead before leaning in for a kiss before you were so rudely interrupted with a loud knock.

“10 minutes Tillman!” The guard shouted through the door.

“Fuck.” He hissed, leaning his forehead to yours. “That went by too fast.”

“Yeah, it did.” You giggled, kissing his cheek, sitting up.

“Hey,” grasping your hand, once more looking at the ring on your hand. “I’m sorry ya’ fell in love with such a fuck up.”

“I'm not. You're a good man, Gator Tillman. You just needed a push in the right direction. No one ever thought you were a fuck up except Roy and look where he is.” You placed your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

You finally pulled away to get up and get dressed, as he followed suit knowing your time was dwindling.

“You better grab a cookie, while you still can.” Pulling your shirt back over your head.

“Bun, I got my sugar fix.” Grabbing you from behind, pulling you back into his chest, kissing your cheek as you melted into his touch. “Just needed my sweet thing.”

The door swung open, jarring you both from a few moments of bliss.

“Thank God your dressed.” The guard sighed and laughed as you both rolled your eyes.

You faced him quickly, stealing away one more kiss.

“I'll be back next week.” Smiling softly.

“I know, baby.”

You watched him go, winking at you before he walked out the door.

The next few weeks were a blur, seemingly going by in the blink of an eye.

You had said your goodbyes in Lehigh. Henry throwing you a small going away party for the hell of it. There were a few tears and lots of well wishes. Of course, Maggie made you promise to keep in touch.

You could have easily used the money that Gator had supplied for the next couple of months, but you didn't see a reason to waste it all. Using it more for a nest egg for the both of you.

Finding a job wasn't difficult. Every bar or diner usually had a high turnover, easily securing a waitressing job at a diner not far from your apartment.

Life went on for the next few months. Seeing Gator weekly, phone calls every other day to get you by.

As it drew closer to his incarceration hitting the one-year mark, you became anxious. The parole board would be looking at a possible early release and you had hoped the feds would put a good word in for him, but it wasn't a given.

“So, by this time next week we'll know if you're finally a free man?” Phone pressed to your ear, sitting on a wooden crate by the dumpster out behind the diner.

“Yup. Warden told me yesterday that the parlor board was already reviewing the case.” He sounded hopeful but you weren't convinced.

“That’s great baby.” Voice coming out a little weak, ready for all of this to just be over and done with.

“Cheer up, Bunny. I have a feelin’ it'll all work out.”

You hoped he was right. Never failing to believe what came out of his mouth. He had a way of sounding so sure of everything.

The day of the hearing, you sat by the phone practically chewing your nails down to the quick. Busying yourself with whatever would distract you, but it wasn't working, as you found yourself glancing at the nearby clock every few minutes the closer it drew to noon when the hearing would begin.

You knew it may be a while before you would hear from him, but anticipation and anxiety were getting the better of you.

12:15, 12:30, 12:45

Still no word. It felt like torture, every agonizing second drawn out.

Suddenly that familiar number popped up, quickly pressing that green button with frenzied energy.

“This is a call from Sandstone Correctional Institute. To accept this call from Gator Tillman please press 1.”

You held your breath as it connected him over.

“Bunny?” His almost breathless voice came through the line.

“Hey, baby. I'm here.” You rushed out, heart pounding in your chest.

“I'm coming home.”

Home. Such a funny notion to him now.

He didn't think of the house on the ranch or even Lehigh. He only pictured you. Your kind smile that captivated him the first time he laid eyes on you. That unruly mouth that could knock him down a peg but was heaven all the same. He loved everything about you.

The only person that had ever made him feel truly loved.

He was coming home to you.

-

Processing was completed and 48 hours later you were sitting outside the prison gate, leaning against your car.

The loud buzz signaling the gate opening grabbed your attention as he strolled out. That cocky demeanor was still intact, dick first, head held high; smirking when he spotted you across the lot already running toward him.

You jumped straight into his open arms, being fully enveloped by him burying your head into his chest. It was like you could finally breathe for the first time in months.

“It's finally over?” You spoke timidly, holding tight as if he might be wrenched from your grasp.

“It's over.” A simple but all-encompassing answer; both free to live the lives you want.

“So, where to handsome?” Starting the car and looking over to him.

“Well, I thought we could make a stopover in Scandia.”

You quirked an eyebrow his way.

“Uh… My sister, Nadine, well Dot reached out to me a couple of days ago. Thought we might swing by.” He smiled and shrugged.

“You have a sister?”

“Yeah. Well, she was also my stepmom. Long story.” He chuckled.

“Gator, what the hell?” Rushing out with a look of abject horror on your face.

“Bunny, it's not what you think. I can tell you all about it on the way. She's expecting us for supper.” He leaned over, kissing your cheek.

“God, your family is more fucked up than I thought.” Pulling out of your spot and getting onto the highway.

He grasped your hand, lacing his fingers with yours.

“Yeah, but you still agreed to marry me.” He grinned.

“I haven't agreed to shit. You still have to ask.” Giving him a smirk in return but admiring the ring proudly situated on your left hand. You wouldn't trade him for the world.

You'd gone through literal hell, and you weren't about to let him go now. It didn't matter where the two of you ended up as long as you were together.

[englishstrawbie]

Station 19 7x10

I snuck in a rewatch during my (slightly longer than it should be) lunch break. It was an excellent finale, IMO. I really wanted to enjoy whatever they gave us and go out on a high. And they delivered for me.

Once again, this is going to get long…

Maya being stuck in the fire and imagining everything that’s waiting for her set up the theme of the episode. It felt fitting that she thought about Carina and the family they’re trying to build, it’s where her storyline has been leading all season and, once again, shows how much she has changed and grown since the Maya we first got to know.

I’m very grateful that the incident didn’t put her off being a firefighter. I was trying to make peace with the idea of her moving on, but I’m much happier with this outcome, knowing she will continue to grow and thrive both personally and professionally.

Do I wish that we’d seen more of Carina’s reaction? Of course. But we got to see Carina fighting the wildfires too and I’m so glad they included her in that way. Although they definitely missed a trick not having Maya see her in the forest, rather than at the hospital – I expected to see Carina just after Andy was taken away in the Aid Car. That would have been a really emotional moment.

“Suit up”… the scene of Carina getting dressed in the yellow suit was a highlight of the episode for me, especially with the superhero-esque music in the background. 🔥 (Gif-makers, I can’t wait for you to do your thing!)

Carina telling Maya that she’s pregnant, all their happiness, the kiss, the throwback to the proposal – even their annoying hand placements were back! I loved that moment, it was perfect for them. 🥰

I loved all the firefighting, watching them working together and struggling but eventually getting their part of the fire contained. This show is at its best for me when it’s about the team and fire, the scary moments and the way they always come together and win.  

Powell dying in the fire tornado, watching her little body get pulled in… I’m sorry, but it made me laugh. 😂

It took a while to get used to the flash forwards, but I like that they showed us what each character wanted in their future, without making it canon, because it leaves the possibilities open.

Carina and her three kids – and Peggy and Dayna still being around! (Running her own clinic, just like she also dreamed, I’m sure.) Travis living his best life with Vic and Dominic. Sully and Ross getting married. Vic taking Crisis One national. Argh, seeing Dean again made me emotional. 🥺 Sully doing more for vets. Ben watching his kids grow up. Pru becoming a firefighter too. Even Beckett (and you know how I feel about Beckett) envisioning his future with Ross’s sister, that made me lol but it was sweet.

I didn’t see Andy and Jack coming. I saw a few jokes about it earlier this week, but I didn’t take them seriously. I don’t think it was necessary. I can only think that they meant it to be a full circle moment – but, for me, the full circle moment was Maya as captain of 19 and Andy as Chief, because that’s what they used to talk about. And I absolutely loved that, especially with Pru being there too. ❤️

The wigs though. 😂 I took me a minute, but Andy’s hair reminded me of a girl I used to go to school with.

ETA: oh, I forgot! Captain DeLuca-Bishop finally! 😍

Ben going back to being a surgeon… yeah, we all saw that coming. 🙄

Vic and Travis, true soulmates, getting their happy ending. I love that for them.

This show has been such a big part of my life since Marina came along four years ago and I’m going to miss it. It’s given me so much – friends and community and a return of my love of writing. I’m grateful for all of it (except 5B 😜).  ❤️❤️

[angelofverdum]

Station 19 S07e10

19!

I'm overwhelmed by feelings. It's amazing how much fictional characters can make you feel.

My hope and wish for the end of these characters was for them to have a resolution and be happy.

Honestly, I can't complain. Maybe I should wait for the excitement to die to write anything about it.

But I love the ending for every character. I loved how they incorporated these "dreams" into the action scenes.

Andy as Chief is a great resolution for her. Jack being her true love was not something I was expecting. I feel it was something they pulled out at the last minute, and don't get me wrong I'm not opposed to it, Andy and Jack could have worked if they had more seasons and Grey wouldn't have left.

Ross. I'd hoped Natasha had something more in mind than marrying Bob but she is always being "My man My man My man" so it's fitting

Robert. One thing I loved about these flashforwards was that they were connected. Sully dreamed of that because in Ross's dream, they were already married, so he got to be with her.

Travis's most important relationship is with Vic. If I had Vic as a friend, I'd be like that too. Uprooting your life like that to move with your best friend is really brave.

Warren is probably my least favorite character but that's because he is boring but he is a good man. I was emotional watching his kids all grow.

Beckett is so unserious because why is he dreaming of Ross' sister.

Vic. She made me cried because she deserves everything that it's good in life. I'm so so so happy she didn't end up with Theo. She is helping people and living her best life. My beautiful queen.

Carina's dream is so important bc she had no one, her brother and mom died, and her father is trash. She was alone and then met this stubborn firefighter and said I want a big family with her, and that's what she did. Bring her back to Grey's you cowards.

Maya. My sweet beautiful, reckless, bisexual, hot, brave, selfless, stubborn, broken Maya. Her future was so bright without clouds. She falls asleep thinking about her wife and three kids. Maya who made me come back for season 2, and here I am seven seasons later, just a mess of emotion.

When I saw Carina enter that bar, it took me a whole ass minute to realize what they were trying to do. Why Carina was there. I'll never forget that excitement and I'll always be thankful for pairing them.

It's so weird to see that kind of representation. We didn't need coming out stories or the usual homophobia. Also, they were proud bisexuals and I'm always thankful that Maya said that with her whole chest. That was so important.

Now, my random thoughts about the episode.

I love the scene with the aluminum thing. That was cool and terrifying.

I loved it when Andy showed up. I was crying like she rescued me.

Danielle is so bad at screaming, her voice cracked up so much.

I loved Maya worried about Andy

I loved Carina suiting up finally. It was so funny.

I loved that we got to see adult Prue, and my god the legacy she is carrying.

I loved to see Andy as chief and Maya as captain.

I loved Carina doing what she preaches. Like Maya my god make yourself useful and give that woman an orgasm.

I'm not a fan of the Deluca-Bishop name tag because I just don't like hyphenating last names in general but I think it is cute they did that little detail for the fans who have really been asking for it.

Now for the last scene, keep in mind, that I've been crying the whole episode. Then this hit

I just laughed out loud. Omg, those are some terrible wigs. What was the point? What were they trying to achieve? To make them look older?

You should have put some gray hair and move it along. Like why they were having a bob off. Why would you do that to them?

Let me clean my eyes with Maya's real bob and the hottest she looked in the show.

Anyway, I'm always thankful when I get to experience a TV show so deeply. Even tho the cancellation is unfair. At least we got a proper ending.

I'm also glad that we got actors who cared deeply about their characters and respected them so much.

I'm a mess but 19 forever.

[themadlostgirl]

Mine Alone

*Surprise bitch! I live!

Yes, after an extended hiatus I return! And I bring requests that have been haunting my inbox for months? A year? Sheesh. I will be getting the others out soon but gotta start with the one that was waiting the longest.*

Pairing: Felix x fem!Reader

Prompt: Felix smut. (That's all it said.) So enjoy you dirty little freaks!

---

You hadn’t really understood what was happening until it was too late. If that wasn’t the story of your life.

It had been a good couple of years since you came to Neverland. Even way back then you had been a little slow on the uptake. Nothing you did ever seemed that significant so you weren’t too worried about anything you did being noticed by anyone. No one ever gave you big jobs to do or positions of power you had to maintain. You just ambled along. It wasn’t that you were stupid, just a bit spacey. As a result you didn’t realize when something was wrong until it was well past the point of correction.

That was part of the reason you ended up on Neverland. Unloved kids came to dance around a bonfire late at night. You did too. You didn’t think anything strange of it, especially considering how many other people were there. So when the leader, Pan, offered to take you away from your boring life in your little town you agreed without much thought. Who would notice if you disappeared? There would be no great hunt for you. No people mourning you. No jobs that needed doing that only you could do. It was an easy decision on your part.

Despite it being years ago you still held some of that feeling of insignificance inside. There were so many other Lost Boys and Lost Girls on the island. Would your presence really be missed?

Then, along came Felix. Felix was one of the most prominent of the Lost Boys and Girls. He was Pan’s best friend and second in command of the island. He did something that only Pan had done once and hadn’t really again. He noticed you. Even more than that, he liked you.

What had started as an acquaintanceship turned into friendship and that friendship eventually became love. Your days were spent mainly with each other. You even shared a tent so you each could be the first thing you saw in the morning and the last thing you saw at night.

You once asked Felix why he had approached you all those years ago. What was it about you that made him want to be your friend? He never really answered it. He just said there was some pull he felt towards you. Like he was a ship on a still ocean and after years of being marooned, a breeze had finally come to push him to land.

“You had such a bright and open smile that you shared with everyone.” he had said, holding you close as you watched the waves crash on the sand. “I didn’t realize how strong it was until you turned it on me. I couldn’t stay away from you if I tried after that. Everything else came later.”

“Everything else?”

“Everything.” he said, “Your laugh. Your sense of humor. Your kindness. Your selflessness. I loved how passionate you got about little things. I love the little humming noises you make when you work. I love how tightly you hug. I love how fierce you can be when you need to be.”

“Wow. That’s a lot.”

“There’s a lot to love about you, dove.” he pulled you closer to his chest. “That was only the beginning.”

“You can be real romantic when you wanna be.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t go harping about it to the others though. For your ears only.”

“Yes, sir.” you gave a little salute. He scoffed but didn’t say anything else.

Since meeting Felix and starting your relationship you had come more out of your shell as well. You had become a lot more sociable with everyone else on the island and had made some good friends amongst them. You were still a little slow to catch on to when something was happening though. Which is where the problem really began.

You had been having a normal day when you met a boy named Andrew, Andy to his friends. You vaguely recognized him. He wasn’t new but he wasn’t an old inhabitant to the island either. Mainly you spotted him here and there but never really talked to him. The only reason you had approached him was because he was joining your fishing route to help you pull up traps.

Most of the time you spent together was walking the east half of the island checking the fishing traps. It was a long and boring job so you had got to talking. Turned out you had a lot in common. Your senses of humor were also similar so your time checking traps was spent laughing a lot. You didn’t think much of it. You were good friends, nothing more.

Felix was not as keen about your friendship though.

One day when you were out doing your route with Andy, Felix had showed up. You jogged up to greet him. “Hey, what are you doing here at this time of day?”

“I could hear you laughing.” he glanced past you at where Andy was standing. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, it won’t make a lot of sense if I try to explain it. Just a stupid inside joke.” you waved it off without a thought. “Have you met Andy yet?”

“In passing.” Felix muttered. “I didn’t realize you two were so close.”

“Yeah. We’ve become good friends.” you grabbed his hand and pulled him along. “Come say hi. I think that you’ll really like him.”

Surprising no one but yourself, Felix did not like Andy. Every time Andy made a joke, Felix’s scowl deepened. Every little touch had Felix seething. Whether it was when you ruffled Andy’s hair or Andy put an arm around your shoulders, everything seemed to make Felix mad. You didn’t understand why. It wasn’t anything different then how you acted with your other friends. Why did it make him so upset when it was with Andy of all people?

Then one day you got your answer.

You were doing your normal route checking the traps with Andy when he asked you to stop for a minute and take a break. That was fine with you. It was an especially hot day so you could do with some cooling off.

You waded out into the ocean, the cool water bringing your temperature down immediately. Andy swam after you and you floated on the surface of the ocean together.

“Hey, can I tell you something?” Andy asked, breaking the peaceful silence between you.

“You can tell me anything.” you said.

“So, we’re good friends, right?”

“We are.”

“And we get along great. We laugh all the time. I feel like I can talk to you about anything.”

“Yeah. That’s what being friends is.” you weren’t sure where he was going with all this.

“What I guess I’m trying to say is that I--” before he could finish his sentence a large wave crested over you and pushed you down under the water.

You broke the surface and Andy was sputtering for air. “Ah! I got water up my nose!”

“Ha!” you pushed your hair away from your face. “I guess that was the island’s sign that we should be getting back to work. Come on.” you swam back to shore with Andy behind you.

You got out of the water and grabbed your boots. You were still too wet to put them back on.

“Hey, wait, I didn’t get to tell you my thing.” Andy sloshed out of the water.

“Oh right, what did you need?”

“I wanted to tell you that I…I…” Andy was clenching and unclenching his fists by his sides. “Wow, I didn’t think this would be that hard.”

“What is going on? It’s just me.” you squeezed his shoulder, “You know you can talk to me.”

“I know.” he grabbed your hand. “I just…I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now that I…I really…”

He was taking forever to say whatever it was and your focus shifted behind him where you saw someone coming out of the jungle. Oh, it was Felix! That wasn’t surprising. He made a habit of coming to find you once your route was done. A smile stretched on your face after seeing him.

“Can I take that to mean you feel the same?” Andy asked.

You cursed yourself for losing your attention and focused on him again. “Hm? Sorry, I spaced out. What did you say?”

Andy deflated a bit before his chest puffed up again. “Perhaps I should just show you.”

He pulled on your hand so you were drawn closer to him and he cupped your cheek. His face was getting way too close! You pushed him off you. “What the hell are you--”

Before you could get another word out Felix had charged down the beach and tackled Andy, murder in his eyes. He didn’t even say anything. He just started wailing on him.

You shook off your shock and pulled Felix off. “Felix! Calm down!”

“I fucking knew it!” Felix seethed. “I knew there was no way you liked her just as a friend!”

“Felix--”

“You were so fucking pathetic! The way you just dogged after her. Did you really think she’d want a wet rag of an idiot like you!”

“Felix!” you snapped and he turned his attention away from Andy. “It’s okay. Nothing happened.”

“Nothing?” Andy wheezed as he sat up. “I know you like me. You’re so nice to me and you laugh at everything I say. You touch me like we’re more than friends.”

“I’m nice to everyone and I don’t touch you in any kind of special way. I’m a lot more touchy feely with the girls I hang out with than I am with you. Did you really think me messing up your hair was an invitation to kiss me or something?”

“You were flirting!”

“I was not! What about what I did made you possibly think I was flirting? Also, why would I flirt with you when I’m already with someone?”

“I figured you wanted someone you actually got along with. He doesn’t even act like he likes you. Why the hell are you with him?”

“Wow. It is almost like my love life is my own personal business and you don’t get to make assumptions on how much I like someone by your very limited point of view.” you snapped. “Find someone else to do this route with you. I don’t want to hang out with you anymore.”

You grabbed Felix and started to walk away but Felix quickly took the lead and pulled you along back into the jungle. He wasn’t saying anything but from how hard he was squeezing your hand you could tell he was still upset about it all.

“Hey,” you said as you quickened your steps to keep up with his long strides. “I’m sorry about what happened back there. I had no idea that he thought that way about me. I should have realized sooner what he was trying to get at. It should never have escalated to--”

“Stop.” Felix came to a halt, his back to you. “It wasn’t your fault. You were just being yourself, he was the one who--” he cut himself off. His whole body was tensed like a tightly wound spring that would break free at any moment.

“Felix…” you touched his shoulder. He whipped around, grabbing you tight by the shoulders.

“You’re mine. You’re mine and mine alone. Not his! Not anyone else’s! Mine!” It was then that you saw it. There was something like fear in his eyes. You had never seen Felix afraid of anything. But here and now there was something so desperate in his gaze that broke your heart.

“Yes. Yes I am.” you hushed him. You stroked his arms up and down in a soothing motion. “You know that. I don’t want anyone else the way I want you. You’re the only one I feel this way for. It’s alright. Take a deep breath.”

“I know…I know. I just--I can’t--” he was shaking slightly. “Do I not do enough? Do you wish I was more outwardly affectionate or something?”

“You do plenty. I love our relationship exactly as it is. I don’t need you to be glued to me all the time or make big romantic gestures.”

“If I did though, then they wouldn’t feel like they can just take you from me.”

“Is that what you’re worried about? Are you scared that someone is gonna take me away from you?”

He didn’t say anything. “Oh Felix.” you hugged him tight. “No one else will have me. I don’t want anyone else.”

“I love you.” he said, his voice quiet, “But I want to--it just feels like I have to--ugh!” he rested his head on your shoulder.

“It feels like you need to make sure I’m yours? Prove to everyone who I belong to?”

“You don’t belong to me, dove. You’re not a possession, but I just…I need it. I need to make sure I’m still yours.”

“You are. And I am yours, in every way that I can be. And if you need to “reclaim me” to put your mind at ease, then I’m certainly not going to complain.” you pulled dragged his hands down your body and settled them on your hips. “Claim me, Felix.”

He picked his head up, eyes boring into yours. “You sure?”

“Yes.” you pulled him down for a kiss. He kissed you back hungrily, his grip on you turning bruising as he covered your body with his. He dipped to start kissing your neck, sucking on the supple skin that still tasted like sea salt.

“Mine?” he mumbled against your pulse.

“Yours.” you reaffirmed.

He sunk his teeth down where your neck met your shoulder. One of his hands slid past the waistband of your pants and cupped your cunt. He began teasing your clit until you were moaning freely and bucking against his hand.

He stepped back from you just enough to pull your pants down and toss them away. “He had his hands on you. Tried to kiss you. Tried to kiss what is mine.” he muttered, his words barely meeting your ears. He stayed knelt on the ground, one hand splayed on your stomach to keep you up against the tree while the other hooked one your knees over his shoulder.

You grabbed at his choppy blonde hair as his mouth descended on your pussy. He might as well have been dying of thirst with how greedily he lapped up your arousal. You tried to grind against his face but he kept you firmly in place.

He looked up at you from between your legs, eyes dark with a feral lust. He worked you over with his tongue until your chest was heaving and your legs were shaking. “Felix! Please!” your voice was barely more than a whimper.

His nails bit into the flesh of your thigh and he sucked harshly on your clit. It was enough to send you over the edge and you came on his tongue.

You had barely started to blink the stars away from your vision before he was on his feet and shucking your shirt off over your head. In the back of your mind you knew that perhaps you should have moved to somewhere more private. It was a big island but that didn’t mean no one may come across you. That worry though was far from your immediate thoughts at the moment though.

You were quickly ridding Felix of his own shirt but it was hard to get up past his head on your own since he was so freaking tall. He ended up just taking it off himself before pressing his body up against yours.

“Feels like forever since the last time I properly fucked you.” he muttered in your ear as he freed his cock from his pants and rubbed it across your folds. The heat of his erection so close to your cunt had you squirming trying to impale yourself on it.

It had been a while since the last time you two had sex. Maybe that was part of the reason he was so pent up. And you as well for that matter.

He pressed his forehead to yours. “I can’t be gentle with you.” he stressed through his teeth, “Not right now.”

“I don’t want you to be.” you told him. “Now are you going to fuck me so hard I never forget who I belong to or not?”

“Fucking hell, dove.” he kissed you hard. He pushed inside your pussy, filling you completely. He didn’t give you a chance to adjust to the size of him before he was pounding into you. Taking what he wanted from your body without mercy. You clung tight to him, your nails scratching angry red lines across his back as you took the harsh fucking.

“Ah…Felix! Mmm!” you bit your lip to keep from crying out. It was hard to tell where the pleasure started and the pain began. Your back was being scratched to death by the bark at your back but the friction of his cock relentlessly thrusting in and out of your already sensitive pussy felt like heaven.

“Mine.” he murmured against your lips. “You. Are. Mine.” he punctuated each word with a particularly hard thrust.

“Yours. I’m yours.” you whimpered. He swallowed the sound of your moans as your body was being driven steadily closer to a climax.

“Fuck!” his hips snapped against yours even faster. “Dove, I--I--fuck you feel good!”

“Cum for me.” you wrapped your legs around his hips, keeping you close. “Please Felix! Cum for me! Cum in me!”

“Yes…yes dove…gonna…gonna--” he was cut off by a low guttural moan as his cock pulsed and spent itself inside you. He was still fucking you though even as he was cumming.

“Oh god!” you could feel his cum leaking out of you as his cock kept going. How was he still hard after cumming so much?

“More.” he said, his voice hoarse from pleasure. You were sure what he meant but were surprised when he pulled out of you and all but threw you to the ground. You turned to see what he was doing but he flipped you back onto your stomach and hiked your ass off the ground. Oh! You weren’t expecting that. At least the ground was soft so it’d be easier on your knees.

He grabbed you by the hips and pushed back inside you. It felt like he was reaching even deeper inside of you from this position.

Your nails dug into the warm soil of the jungle floor as he went back to fucking you. He was hitting a sweet spot inside you that had you panting and clawing at the ground for some kind of tether to reality. Your legs spread wider to allow him better access to your cunt.

You could feel him bent low over your body, hands splayed on your hips as he rutted against you like a beast in heat. You could feel the fringe of his hair tickling the space between your shoulder blades. A single word grunting past his lips with every sweet shallow thrust. “Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine!”

You squirmed and kicked as your body was driven into a state of pleasure that was overloading your brain. You couldn’t tell if you were trying to get away or push yourself closer to him. Felix answered by dragging your legs back so they rested by his. He was so incredibly close it was hard to tell where his body began and yours ended. Not that you could tell up from down in this exact moment.

Your words were nothing but hot blubbering sighs and garbled calls of his name. Hot tears streaked down your face. Still Felix kept chanting that one word over and over. “Mine!” it got louder and louder until he was practically shouting it.

When he came you came with him, a scream of pleasure so raw it tore your throat apart. Your chest was heaving and your whole body was twitching as it tried to reconcile the orgasm you just had.

Felix was incredibly still except for the heavy breaths you could feel him taking. His voice which had been so loud a moment ago was now quiet and hushed with whispers. “Mine…mine and mine alone…my dove…mine…”

You collapsed onto your sides but Felix kept you pressed close, his softening cock still wedged in your pussy as you caught your breath. His arms wound around you, holding you tight. “You…are you okay?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah. Are you?”

He pressed a soft kiss to the back of your neck. “Yeah. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.”

“It was my pleasure…literally.” you responded. He sighed which let you know he was fighting back a smile.

“Felix?” you turned your head as far back as you could to look at him. Your nose bumped against his. “Mine.”

He smiled. “Yes, dove. Yours.”

[kanerallels]

Okay here are my many, many thoughts on Jedi Survivor. I'll keep the spoilers beneath the cut, so all who venture forward have been warned!

The way the game started out was so fun!! The stealth heist! The crew members Cal was teaming up with! Being on CORUSCANT of all places!

I really, really love the gameplay over all. It felt like they took the last game and just improved these tiny little details that I remember from the first one. Tiny things that would seem stupid but also made the game play that much smoother!

KOBOH MY BELOVED IT'S SO MASSIVE SO BEAUTIFUL SO GORGEOUS I LOVE IT THERE VERY VERY MUCH

Also I don't know who decided we should get Fast Travel but I would die for them

I'll probably make a separate post about this, but Cal introduced BD-1 to almost everyone he met-- ALMOST. Not Dagan, and not a couple other people that it was clear he didn't trust. And I for one LOVE that detail

Jedha was so fun other than the fact that I almost died every fifteen seconds

CERE!!!!!!!!! AND MASTER CORDOVA!!!!! WORKING TOGETHER!!!!! WITH THE HIDDEN PATH!!!!!

The Merrical was *chef's kiss* absolutely amazing. They are so April and Andy from Parks and Rec I love them

As a fan of the High Republic books, I thought the Nihil references, along with Dagan Gera and Santari Khri, were pretty neat! He was a fun villain to fight

I really really loved... pretty much all the Greez content? How happy he was to see Cal, and the fact that he had a room set aside for him, and the fact that he ventured back out into the fight just to keep Cal safe. I was mostly neutral on him during JFO, but Battle Scars made me really, really love him, and this game definitely built on that! Also I love that he named his saloon after his grandma (I think?)

Rayvis was an interesting villain! I liked him a lot, especially the final battle with him. They did a good job developing his character

Speaking of villains... I do be feeling some emotions about Cal's fight with Masana Tide. I'm a redemption arc girlie at heart, what can I say? But I see why they did what they did

RICK THE DOOR TECHNICIAN MY BELOVED

THE PONCHO!!!!!!!! THERE WAS A PONCHO!!!!!! I GOT TO WEAR MY BOSS BATTLE OUTFIT TO THE FINAL FIGHT!!!!! IT WAS AMAZING

That one scene where the whole crew was at the campfire together and for like five minutes it felt like everything was going to be okay warmed my heart so much

Yeah I don't remember what happened after that (obvious lie)

I like the new open world features, and the bounties you get to hunt, and the customization and stuff! And those Force tear things are terrifying, but I've completed two of them, and plan to do more as time goes on!

Kriff. Okay I gotta talk about the Horrors at some point. Thanks to my lack of self control, I'd seen some spoilers and knew that Bode was gonna betray us. I didn't know about Cordova (sad) and I didn't know about Bode's secret (SO MUCH SHOCK THAT WAS AN AMAZING PLOT TWIST)

I will say, Cere's final battle against Vader was SO FREAKING COOL IT WAS AWESOME PLAYING AS HER

I also love the fact she set Vader on fire. It's ironic

AULSDKFJLSDKJFLSDKJFLSDKJF AND HER LAST WORDS REALLY JUST SHOT ME IN THE CHEST I'M FINE OKAY I'M FINE (more lies)

Uhhh the Tanalorr plot line was pretty cool! I like the idea of there being somewhere safe from the Empire, to prevent Cal from being killed for plot convinience

Bode's betrayal... yeah I'm not gonna talk about that. I'm not ready, and honestly I have an objectively awful take on the whole situation that no one will like

OKAY THE SCENE WHERE BD-1 REUNITED WITH CAL AFTER HE CHASED AFTER BODE AND JUST LAUNCHED HIMSELF INTO CAL'S ARMS I DON'T THINK ENOUGH OF YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I WOULD DIE FOR THIS DROID

The part where BD-1 was going to scan the trontoshell, and Cal called him BD and THEN BD-1 like he was his mom, full naming him into safety. I love it so much

OH ALSO BD AND KATA'S DYNAMIC IS SO HECKING CUTE

(can you tell I love BD-1?)

I also really, really loved Merrin's entrance. Ten out of ten, the only thing I would change is that Cal should have immediately proposed

Oh! And Merrin and Kata's relationship is so fun I really really like it

Ummm yeah I think I've addressed everything there is to talk about (the most obvious lie yet) so yeah! The brainrot is still strong with me so I might end up posting some screenshots and more thoughts later on!

[madisonfilmss]

I Am Yours - austin x reader

Inspired by I Am Yours by Andy Grammer 

You would always be proud of Austin for chasing his dreams. You were proud to have a front row seat to his life changing. Most of the time. It was days like this you feel unworthy to be loved by Austin. It’s currently 10:30 your time which means it’s about 6:00 am Australia time. You haven’t been able to talk to him since yesterday morning due to your conflicting schedules. You would have gone with him to Australia but you had business back home you had to be present for. 

You have a tendency to overthink the littlest things, not just with your boyfriend but in general. If someone’s tone is off, you notice it and then think about it for the next month so not talking to Austin for as long as you have makes you believe the worst. 

He’s found somebody else. 

I should have gone with him. 

He forgot about me. 

Your phone rings and you look to see Austin’s contact photo flash on the screen. Your mood is ruined now. He’s gonna pick up on it. You can’t do it right now. You decline the call hoping to pull yourself together but Austin doesn’t give you the chance because he calls you back immediately. 

There’s nothing you can do because you know if you decline it again, he’s gonna be upset with you because you aren’t answering his calls. 

You slide your finger across the screen, his bright smile lighting up the screen. You decided to keep the phone laying on your desk, hoping to gain your composure before having Austin see you upset. 

“Hi love.” Austin says as the phone call connects. 

“Hi love.” you reply 

“Where’s my girl?” he asks curiously

“I have a lot of work to do tonight, babe. I’m so sorry.” 

Honestly you were doing whatever possible to get him to hang up. You wanted to overthink in peace. Maybe even sob into a pint of ice cream, 

“I know you and I know that’s a lie. You always make sure to have your work done just in case I call you.” 

Damn it. He knows you too damn well. 

“Not to mention, you haven’t made eye contact with me once. You only do that when you’re thinking. When you’re thinking, I lose my girl.”

“Austin, I’m fine.” you say trying to get him to focus on something other than you. 

“Hey, no, we don’t do that. Talk to me.” 

“It’s stupid.” 

“That is the furthest thing from the truth. If it’s on your mind, I would really like to be let in so I am able to help you. I understand if you don’t want to tell me everything right away. All I ask is for a little insight. It doesn’t have to be much.” 

“I understand.” you say. You take a moment to finally make eye contact with him. You realize what people mean when they say “Eyes are the windows to the soul.” As you look at Austin, you realize that his soul is made up entirely of you. 

What are you doing? Why aren’t you talking to him? He’s here for you. 

“If you need a minute, I’m happy to just sit here with you. You are allowed to tell me as little or as much as you would like. Take all the time you need.” 

You nod before closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, 

“It’s just– I’m not there with you and the time difference and the headlines and gossip. It makes me feel like you’re going to forget me. I’ve seen the paparazzi photos, Austin. You and Olivia look pretty damn cozy.” you take a breath trying to calm yourself down. 

You didn’t realize how upset you actually were about this whole situation. 

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset.” you say as you make eye contact with Austin. 

“Love, you have every right to be upset. I completely understand. Would I like you here by my side every minute? Yes. Do I wish when I got anxious before press and events you were by my side? Yes. Do I wish afterwards it was just the two of us? More than anything.” 

“Austin, please.” you practically beg him. You already feel bad enough not being there with him. 

“Just let me finish. There is a point to this. I promise.” he says. 

You look at him, waiting for him to continue. 

“I also know that you are kicking ass back at home and as much as I wish you were here with me, I could not be more proud of you.” 

Your eyes were welling with tears. 

“For years I have been lost. Lost without you. I didn’t understand what my purpose was in this life. But I know who I am now. I am yours.” 

You were full on sobbing now. 

“I am yours now and always. I wouldn’t dream to be anything more. You take my breath away every time. I honestly still can’t believe it when you say you’re mine.” 

This distance was hard on both of you but moments like this makes you stop and realize that you don’t want anybody else. 

“Love, I don’t think you will ever truly know how much you saved me. It was the first time that you smiled at me. I knew right then that I was put on this earth to love you.” 

“I will tell you that as much as I need to in order for you to believe it. I love you so much.” 

“I love you more than you know.” 

You were going to bed that night wondering how you got so lucky to be loved by Austin. 

[jjsmaybank20]

Hi!!!! It's me again,🦁 Anon. I just looked at Glass onion and can I ask for a request for whiskey x reader. The reader was relaxing in the pool with others, and the moment whiskey comes out of the pool, the Reader literally froze and stared at her. The others started joking or making a remark about it until the Reader took Whiskey's hand and dragged her to her room because the Reader got excited.

Can the end be cute and fluffy?

Thank you very much!!!🥺

Speechless

Whiskey x Fem!Cody!Reader

Summary: Your girlfriend is gorgeous, and never fails to make you speechless.

Warnings: Nothing really, just fluff

Word Count: 759

navigation misc. masterlist

---

When you, your brother, and your girlfriend were invited to Miles Bron’s weekend getaway/murder mystery party, you knew you were in for a treat. Miles never failed to astonish, so arriving at his private island housing his massive complex, you couldn’t say you were surprised.

Miles was an eccentric person, so of course the rooms were assigned based off of chakra. You bid your brother and your girlfriend goodbye, and headed towards your room to get ready for the pool.

You throw on some swim trunks, a bikini top, and a hawaiian shirt to wear over it. You check yourself over, seeing that you look good, and head down to the pool to meet up with your friends. 

Making your way down, you see Lionel and Claire already on the side having a conversation. You approach them, and they greet you warmly. 

“Y/N Cody, as I live and breathe! We didn’t have much time to catch up. How is everything? How’re you and Whiskey?” Claire inquires. You go to answer, but are interrupted by Birdie making her grand entrance. 

“Guys. Lionel and Y/N, you guys are too hot to be scientists. And Claire, you look so cute.” You glance over at Lionel, and then you see Claire flipping Birdie off, making you laugh.

“You just gave Bird the bird, Claire-bear.” You exclaim, making Lionel laugh along with you. Claire then glares at you, hating the nickname you had assigned to her. Everyone in your group had a nickname that you had given them, which you always called them.

Claire is Claire-bear, Birdie is Bird, Lionel is Lion, Duke is Dick, Miles is My-My, Peg is Peggy, and Andi is… well, was Cassie. 

While in your own head about Andi, you tune out Birdie and Claire bickering. You finally tune back in when Claire re-asks you the questions from before. “Oh! Y/N, answer the questions from before Birdie interrupted. How is everything? How’re you and Whiskey?”

You smile at the woman, and respond, “Things are good! Lion and I have been absolutely stacked at work, but you know how Miles is. Me and Whiskey are doing amazing.”

Lionel then looks around for your girlfriend. When he doesn’t spot her, he inquires, “Where is your girl, anyway?” You then look around, also not spotting her. You open your mouth to say something, but a clearly not listening Birdie interrupts again.

“God and no masks I can breathe again. Look at this pool, maybe I'll go for a swim.” As soon as she finishes her sentence, your gorgeous girlfriend breaks through the surface of the water gracefully. Your jaw drops, your eyes widen, and you turn bright red.

Lionel and Claire quickly take note of this, and immediately begin teasing you. “Hey, Y/N. You’ve got some drool right there.” Lionel puts his finger on your chin. You immediately slap his hand away, not taking your eyes off of your girlfriend.

Claire calls out to Whiskey, shouting, “Hey Whiskey! I think you broke your girlfriend!” Whiskey glances over at you, smirking at the expression on your face.

“Baby, you okay?” She asks. You say something intelligent like ‘Uh- mhm- yep- so good.’ She laughs and swims towards the stairs leading out of the pool. You quickly get up, not bothering to bid your friends goodbye. You know they won’t mind.

As soon as you make it to where your girlfriend is standing, you grab her hand, yank her out of the pool, and pick her up bridal style before running to your room. She laughs joyfully, and wraps her arms around your neck.

---

Once you reach your shared suite, you shift her so that she is pressed between you and the door. You kissed her intensely, and quickly started to trail them down her neck. You heard her let out a breathy laugh and felt the vibrations in her throat when she asked, “What’s gotten into you, babe?”

You pull back and put your foreheads together, smiling at the woman you loved. “It just always amazes me how you seem to get prettier and prettier every time I look at you.”

Whiskey blushes at that, and pecks your lips again before hopping down from your arms. She grabs your hand and pulls you down onto the bed, making you let out a yelp of surprise. She quickly climbs on top of you. Cuddling into your chest.

You couldn’t be happier than in this moment, on this island, with the people you love. If only you knew how fast it would go to shit.

---

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[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck Week 2024

Day 7 - A Song You Associate with UU: This Is Your Sign by Citizen Soldier

I said that Favorite Arc was the hardest and cruelest choice among these prompts, but that was shortsighted of me. This is the hardest choice I've had to make this entire week. My Undead Unluck playlist on Spotify is over 140 tracks of songs that in some way made me think of UU, either thematically with the series as a whole, with specific characters, with specific events, etc.

However, I was able to make that decision about 90% easier by narrowing it down to a single band: anyone who's been following me for a while should be unsurprised that I knew from the beginning I'd be going with a Citizen Soldier song, but I've got 14 of them on that list, and they're all great as UU songs. Despite how much I've talked about it, though, I don't think I've ever explicitly shared what about them works so well

Citizen Soldier's lead singer, Jake Segura, is a clinical therapist, and views his music as a form of group therapy. Many of his songs deal with themes of depression and suicide, either from the perspective of someone crying out for help or the one responding to the call

UU literally starts with Fuuko attempting suicide, and the overarching goal of the story is Andy's elaborate assisted suicide. Tatiana's request for Billy to send her to see her parents, Chikara's wrestling with whether his parents would want him to atone for their deaths, Rip permanently wounding his eye during his botched suicide attempt; nearly every character contemplates, desires, or attempts suicide at some point or another

But they are all also saved from their lowest moments. Andy appears as Fuuko stands on the ledge, Billy gives Tatiana a homemade treat, Fuuko showed Chikara that his life had purpose, and Latla stopped Rip just before the blade hit his neck. Even Andy's desire for death has clearly faded since meeting Fuuko, learning that his real desire is to live surrounded by people that he loves

If you're standin' on the ledge and you hear this song play I'm tellin' you, this is the evidence If these words find you alive and it's still not too late I'm tellin' you, it's no coincidence

This Is Your Sign is about those chance meetings, that feeling that the world is against you and that you might as well give up only for something to suddenly change and give you the push that you need to hang on a little longer

This is your sign, a shootin' star, a satellite in space That who you are is so much more than all your darkest days This is your sign, it's just the start, and everythin' could change This is the moment you'll remember you decided to stay (you decided to stay)

The people, the sights, the experiences that make life worth living are the privilege of the living. Choosing death means giving up on possibility, trading everything that could be to escape what is. If Fuuko had successfully committed suicide, she never would have befriended Tatiana or Mui or Chikara. She never would have had her whirlwind romance with Andy, she never would have gotten to wear beautiful dresses, she never would have gotten a second chance at attending high school, and the world itself would have been destroyed. Juiz would have failed to loop, and the Union wouldn't have made it to the final world. UU takes the concept to its logical extreme, but the ending of Fuuko's world would have literally been the end of the world

If you're wishin' you were dead and hear my voice, this is fate 'Cause this is meant for you, yeah, every single word If it seems nobody cares and you're alone in your pain No matter where you are, this is the miracle that you deserve

Citizen Soldier's songs want you to know that something better is coming, that if you keep going you'll eventually find something to make it all worth it. Sometimes it takes a miracle to remind us of that, but ultimately it's our decision to fight on. Someone or something can come into our life, but we have to be the ones to save our lives

Barely holdin' on and scared to death There's a reason that you're hearin' this and you're not dead yet If you're waitin' on a reason why (the reason why) This is your sign to save your life

Andy was Fuuko's inspiration, but she was the one to embrace her Unluck for Andy's sake. She was the one who decided she didn't want to die anymore. She was the one who decided to loop to do for everyone else what Andy did for her

Undead Unluck and Citizen Soldier both helped me through hard times. They both equipped me with tools to cope when I was down, with weapons to keep fighting for the life I want

There are so many other songs I wanted to talk about today. Irreplaceable, Through Hell, Stronger than My Storm, Hallelujah (I'm Not Dead), and many more. If you need a soundtrack for Undead Unluck, you really can't pick a better band than Citizen Soldier

If I've convinced you to give them a listen, I hope you'll find at least one song that helps you the way they've helped me. I hope whatever you're going through right now, that this will make it easier. I hope that anything I've said in this post, this week, or even the last four years has helped you in some way. If you yourself have been waiting on a reason why, then please let this be your sign

Thank you to everyone who participated in Undead Unluck Week. Thank you to everyone who helped show me that my current favorite is as well-loved as I always knew it could be. Thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed my posts this week. You've all helped me to enjoy life, and I hope I've done the same for you

As I said yesterday, and in every chapter review for the last several months: until next time, let's enjoy life

[ladykailitha]

In the Midnight Hour Part 8

*wails* I am on part TWELVE and I’m still wrapping everything up. But I am going to get in done in the next day or so.

Warning for Steve falling apart.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

*

Steve paced in front of his window. Eddie hadn’t been by in a couple of days and he was starting to worry.

When Eddie finally landed on his roof, Steve was out of his window like a shot.

“Eddie!” he cried. “Are you okay? Wayne told me what happened at the motel. I’ve been so worried about you!”

Eddie snarled. “Get away from me!”

“Eddie!”

Eddie’s shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s going on and the longer this goes on, the more I feel disconnected from Wayne. From You. I’m getting more and more twisted and I hate it.”

“We’re working as fast as we can,” Steve said. “I know you said that we are running out of time, but there is a piece we’re missing.”

Eddie snarled. “Fuck!”

Steve shoulders sagged. “I feel I’m failing you again.”

All the anger went out of Eddie in a rush. “You can’t keep taking the weight of the world on your shoulders, man. It’s going to kill you.”

“If it does, I wish to hell it would hurry up,” Steve spat. “Everyone tells me it’s going to crush me, it’s going to kill me. When? When is going to do me in, because if I can’t have a happy life, a life free of suffering, I don’t want to live.”

Eddie felt his stomach bottom out. It felt like the first time he had been on a roller coaster. The fear eating at his insides.

“You can’t mean that, Steve!” he cried.

Steve looked up at Eddie, his heart breaking. “My whole life has been a series of unfortunate events. And it kills me to see everyone being able to move on. Even Joyce is worried about me. As if she didn’t have three children to look after. I’m not worth it. I can only hope my death means something.”

Eddie pulled Steve into his arms. “Your life is important. You’re important, sweetheart. I know it’s hard right now, but some day you’ll look back on this and think how silly you were to want to die.”

“I just hurt all the time,” Steve mumbled into his shoulder. “I get migraines now. It takes me so long to get moving in the morning because my body aches. I’m not even twenty yet and I have the body of an old man.”

Eddie just rocked him back and forth. “I think everyone forgot that you got hurt pretty bad down there, too. Other than what happened to Max, Dustin sprained his ankle, but I don’t think anyone else was hurt. Not like you were. How long were you in the hospital?”

“I wasn’t.”

Eddie looked down at Steve in shock. “You should have had stitches at the very least, Steve!”

“I didn’t know how to explain what happened, so I didn’t,” Steve murmured.

“I’ll make you a deal,” Eddie said. “I’ll stop saying my death is inevitable, if you do, too. okay?”

Steve raised his head. “Okay.” He sat back and really looked at Eddie for the first time that night. “Vecna is trying to starve you, isn’t he?”

Eddie jumped, startled. “How the hell do you know that?”

“Andy and Chase showed up for school looking less like death for the first time in months,” Steve explained. “Which means you aren’t feeding on them and you aren’t feeding on me. Which means you haven’t eaten at all in about a week.”

Eddie shuddered. “He only wants me to feed on you now.”

Steve closed his eyes. “That means we have less time than we think, if he wants me drained for the coming fight.”  

Eddie nodded. “I won’t do that to you.”

“Just take as much as you did last time,” Steve murmured. “I forgot to eat after last time and that’s why I was so strung out. In fact, give me a minute.”

Eddie was about to protest when Steve got up and slipped back into room. He sighed heavily. He should just get up and leave. But he couldn’t. Not without telling Steve why. The guy had so much going on that Eddie couldn’t hurt him.

A few minutes later Steve was back. “All right, I ate this time and had some orange juice. That should help.”

Eddie closed his eyes. “You can’t keep doing this. Taking care of other people. Who takes care of you?”

Steve just shook his head. “We just have to do what we can, until we find a better solution.”

He pulled down his collar and leaned back like he had before. But this time, Eddie pulled him into his arms, gently holding his head as Eddie sank his teeth into Steve’s neck.

Steve moaned and the things it did to Eddie. This was wrong. It had to be. Because it felt so good. Eddie lapped and laved at Steve’s throat. It tasted so good. He wasn’t sure how much he took this time. It had been too long since he fed. He was hungrier.

But he stopped. He forced himself to let go of Steve. But instead of straightening up, Steve flopped forward onto Eddie’s shoulder.

“Eddie...” he whispered, pained. “I don’t feel so good.”

Eddie lifted Steve’s head. Steve’s eyes barely focused. That had happened last time, but it felt different now. Steve had come back after a moment or two, but now he was still listless.

Shit!

Eddie had taken too much. He was going to catch so much hell from Vecna from this but he didn’t care. He was going to get Steve to help.

*

Eddie landed behind the Motel 6 like he always did because he didn’t want to risk anyone seeing him. Which was fortunate. Well, fortunate for his Uncle Wayne, not so much for the mob that had gathered there.

Jason Carver’s father stood at the forefront of the crowd, snarling. “Your nephew should have hanged for what he did to our children. But since he’s dead, too. You’ll just have to his place.”

Eddie closed his eyes. He should have seen this coming. He laid Steve gently against back wall of the motel and strolled into the crowd. They parted, whispering and hissing their fear.

His claws were out and his wings were unfurled. He looked like the devil they thought him to be.

“Unhand my uncle,” Eddie snarled at Mr Carver.

Mr Carver whirled around and slammed his fist into Eddie’s face. The whole crowd heard the sickening crunch as all the bones in his hand broke. Mr Carver screamed in pain.

The mob dogpiled Eddie and he waited. Waited until they were all on top of him. He stood up, roaring. He knocked all of them off him and scattered to the ground.

Most of them lay still but Mr Carver and Chrissy’s dad were still standing.

“You are a monster!” Mr Cunningham snarled.

“Only because of what this town made me,” Eddie sneered. “I didn’t kill Chrissy, anymore than I killed Jason, or Patrick or Fred. I wasn’t at the Creel house when Jason died. I was fighting for my life so far away. I couldn’t stop what happened to Chrissy and Patrick. I don’t know why I was set up and I don’t care.”

Mr Cunningham was starting to falter, but Mr Carver growled.

“You lie!” he pulled out a gun.

Eddie closed his eyes and turned around to face him. “What would I have to gain from lying?”

Mr Carver’s mouth opened and closed, sputtering as he tried to come up with answer that made sense. He fell to his knees, the gun clattering to his feet.

“My boy!” he cried. “I just want my boy back.”

Mr Cunningham rushed to his side and they held each other, finally grieving the lost of their children.

Eddie turned to Mr Cunningham. “Take him to the hospital for his hand. I’m sorry that they died. Especially Chrissy. She was nice to me in a world that sought to hurt me. But I’m not to blame. And neither is my uncle. Were you really going to kill a man out of grief?”

The two men looked up at him in shame and then looked away.

“Go.”

The others were coming to, so Eddie flew up to the roof and watched as they dispersed. Mr Cunningham, breaking up the mob and telling them to go home.

He helped Mr Carver to his feet and led them through disgraced crowd. The crowd followed like lost sheep, leaving a stunned Wayne Munson on the ground. He want to yell at them, scream at the injustice of it all. Make them see. But he couldn’t. What could he say that Eddie hadn’t already?

Then he spotted Steve against the wall and rushed over to him. “Steve!”

Eddie flew back down. “I’m sorry!” he cried, landing next to Wayne. “He told me to feed from him, but I think I took too much. He hasn’t moved since.”

Steve moaned.

Wayne tapped his cheek gently. “Come on, Steve. Stay with me.”

Steve opened his eyes. “Wayne?”

Eddie let out a shuddering breath. “He’s alive,” he sobbed.

Wayne sighed, too. “Grab him,” he instructed Eddie. “These old knees don’t work like they used to.

Eddie picked Steve up and followed Wayne to the front of the motel. He stopped in front of the door.

Wayne turned back around and frowned. “Well aren’t you coming in?”

Eddie whined. “I can’t. Not unless...”

Wayne’s eyes went wide. “Shit. Really?”

Eddie nodded.

“You have my permission to enter,” Wayne said dramatically.

“Now I know where he gets it from...” Steve slurred.

Eddie chuckled. “Good to see you coming around, Stevie boy.” Steve’s head lulled back again and he sighed. “Or not.

Eddie brought him into the room and laid him out on the bed. He turned to Wayne who was looking at him fondly.

“What?”

Wayne shook his head and smiled. “You think Vecna is changing you. Making you all twisted, like him. But Henry Creel wouldn’t have done any of what you did tonight. I think you’ll be just fine.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “Just take care of him for me?”

Wayne nodded.

Eddie ran out the door and launched himself into the night sky. He could feel how much more powerful he was. He may have taken too much from Steve, but it made him feel stronger and more alive than he had since Vecna brought him back.

Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12  Part 13

Tag List: @swimmingbirdrunningrock @panicatthediaz @renaissan-vvitch @grtwdsmwhr  @chaoticlovingdreamer @savory-babby @thequeenrainacorn @anzelsilver @estrellami-1 @steddieassheg0es @currently-steddiebrainrot @gregre369 @steddie-there @clumsywriter

[1americanconservative]

To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable."

Oscar Wilde   "The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for."  Will Rogers   "We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars –more and more repairs and replacements are necessary."  C.S. Lewis   "Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." Golda Meir   "I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued."  Bill Dane   "The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. Mark Twain   "Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." Tom Wilson    "Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home." Phyllis Diller   "I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." Rita Rudner  

"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do."

 Phyllis Diller

 “Nice to be here? At my age, it’s nice to be anywhere." 

 George Burns

"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get backup" 

John Wagner

"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down."

 Leo Rosenberg

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” 

 Kitty O’Neill Collins

“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” 

 Robert Orben

"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." 

Unknown

"At my age, flowers scare me." 

George Burns

“I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed."

 Unknown

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all."

Ann Landers

"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. 

When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. 

Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile."

George Burns

"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past."

 Robert Brault

"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget."

 Unknown

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."

Sir Norman Wisdom

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”

Andy Rooney

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”

 Larry Lorenzon

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” 

Lee Trevino

"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead."

John Mendoza

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."

 George Carlin

"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap."

Bob Hope

"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"

Barry Cryer

"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast."

 Anonymous

“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything.  Then, you only have to remember it.”

George Burns

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” 

 Maurice Chevalier

"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380pounds, and tell the truth."

Conan O’Brien

"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to."

 Albert Einstein

"Grand children don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does."

J. Norman Collie

"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work."

 Hy Gardner

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old."

 Mark Twain

"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks."

Joel Plaskett

"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure."

Dennis Wolfberg

"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else."

Josh Billings

"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for."

Unknown

"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read."

 George Burns

"The idea is to die young as late as possible." 

 Ashley Montagu

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”

George Burns

"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit."

George Burns  

"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." 

Anonymous 

[captainlunaxmen]

The Lady and the Lord

Chapter 4

Eddie munson x fem!reader

This is a repost since the old blog doesn't work anymore. 🥰

Chapter summary: some plans are made, the reader goes to check on Eddie and, unfortunately, it seems to be Max's time.

Chapter warnings: spoiler season 4, mention of harassing.

Soon after Robin and Nancy arrived and Max got out of.. trance.

She told us about hearing a voice calling her name and seeing a grandfather clock.

"It was here. RIght here" She says pointing her torch to a wall in the hallway.

"A grandfather clock?" Robin asks.

"It was so real. And then when I got closer, suddenly I just.. I woke up." She explains.

"It was like she was in a trance or something" Dustin adds.

"Just like Eddie said" I say.

Max turns to look at us. Scared.

"That's not even the bad part"

With that she lead us back to Ms Kelly's office showing us Chrissy's and Fred's file.

"Fred and Chrissy, they both came to Ms Kelly for help. They both were having headaches, bad headaches that wouldn't go away. And then..then the nightmares. Trouble sleeping. They'd wake up in a cold sweat. Then they started seeing things. Bad things. From their past. These visions... they just, they kept on getting worse and worse, until eventually...everything ended" Max explains, fear dominating his voice.

I don't like where this is going..

"Vecna's curse" Robin says.

Yeah... I don't like where this is going.

"Chrissy's headaches started a week ago. Fred's, six days ago. I've been having them for five days."

Fuck... I feel my stomach turning, this can't be happening.

"I don't know how long I have. All I know is that, for Fred and Chrissy, they both died less than 24 hours after their first vision. And I just saw that goddamn clock, so..." She's breaths shakily, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "Looks like I'm gonna die tomorrow."

Before any of us could say something, a loud noise catches our attention.

We all look at each other and Steve take charges.

"Stay here" he tells us walking to the door, grabbing what I think is a long lamp and head out of the office.

We obviously follow him out, carefully walking behind him.

We hear nother noise, like doors opening or something, then footsteps approaching, quickly.

Steve get ready to attack when from the corner a very agitated Lucas appears and they all yell.

"It's me" Lucas exclaims.

"Jesus! What's wrong with you Sinclair?" Steve yells back, catching his breath.

"I'm sorry"

"I could've taken you out with this lamp!"

"Sorry guys, sorry" He pants. "I was... I was biking for eight miles... just.. give me a second.. shit"

We all look at him confused.

"We've got a code red." He finally say, still panting.

"What?"

Lucas then walks to Dustin.

"Dustin, I've been with Jason, Patrick and Andy, and they've gone totally off the rails." He starts talking, fast "They're trying to capture Eddie, and they think you know where he is. You're in terrible danger"

"Fucking dickheads" I mutter.

"Yeah" Robin agrees.

"All right. Yeah, that definitely sucks, but we've got bigger problems than Jason right now" Dustin tells him, then turns to look at Max, Lucas does the same worried and confused at the same time.

We decided it's better to just go to Nancy's house and think of something to do.

I offered to go check on Eddie before heading to Nancy's... now I'm kinda regretting it.. on one hand I'm nervous to be alone again with Eddie, even if we get along, on the other hand I'm worried about Max and I don't want to leave her, but I can't back away now.

"Eddie?" I whisper, hoping he can hear me and won't be scared someone actually caught him.

"Eddie? It's Y/n." I open the boathouse door. "I brought you something"

I scan the room and I see him slowly emerging from under the tarp, the sight makes me giggle.

"Is that comfortable enough for you, my lord?" I ask with a giggle.

"Oh? That? Oh yeah, 5 starts out of 5, definitely" he says, a smile slowly appears on his face.

"Here" I walk closer to him handing him my Walkman and some cassettes. "To... keep your mind busy."

He looks at me smiling, genuinely.

"It helps me to distract myself.. if you want.." I shyly say.

He reach out and grabs the Walkman from my hand. Our hands slightly touching for only a moment, but it was enough... just enough.

"Thanks" he says checking my cassettes, with a grin. "Let's see what m'lady listens to"

"Are you going to judge me?" I joke.

"Oh, definitely" he says sitting down.

"Don't be too mean" I sit down with him.

All my nervousness thrown out of the window, completely disappeared.

"Aahh.. look at this. The Beatles, nice! you're into the classics.. that's good" he says impressed.

"My grandmother left her old vinyls at home so.. " I shrug.

"Bowie... not my favourite, but still a good one" he keeps looking.

"Mhmm" I hold back a chuckle.

"Oh...but... look..at..these..." he says, a smirk on his face. "We got: Metallica, oh! Mötley Crüe, Iron Maiden! Judas Priest and... Dio. Quite loud bands for someone as quiet"

"Yeah.. I guess"

"Hey, I'm not judging... far from it" he chuckles.

"Well.. you're not the only freak in town" I smile at him.

"But you're the only beautiful one" he winks.

He said that last part in a whispers.

"I.. you... you need to stop doing that" I stutter out looking away from him.

"Why? It gets you all flustered and cute.. I can't help myself" he says simply.

I'm glad he's smiling, though, even if it is at my expense.

I playfully roll my eyes.

"You're terrible"

"I've been called worse, you need to improve your game, m'lady" he teases, fully turning to look at me.

"Gotta need to teach me then, my lord" I tease back.

"Anything for you" he smiles wickedly.

"Anything? Careful, I just might take advantage of that." I say.

"Fine by me" he shrugs. "Are... are we flirting right now?" That smirk back on his lips.

I widen my eyes, biting my lips instinctively.

"I... I... I don't know.." I let out a nervous chuckle looking away.

He just smiles, probably enjoying my flustered face, but then he change the subject.

"Can I ask you something?" He asks me.

"Sure.." I say, still a bit flustered.

"Why.. why are you helping me?" He asks, all of a sudden looking away, feeling not so confident anymore.

"Well, we just-"

"Not them.. why are you helping me?" He asks again.

That catches off guard.

I look at him, he's fidgeting with his hands, nervously.

"Do you remember when we got paired up for history? Last year.. more or less."

He nods. "How could I forget?"

"Remember when we were at the library and Jessica Perry basically threw her orange juice, or whatever shut she was drinking, on me?" I ask him.

"She thought you had slept with her boyfriend for some reason.." he laughs at the absurdity of that situation.

"Yeah" I laugh too "I simply had to deliver his graded paper from math, that was it... the professor forced me since I was the last one in class when she remembered.." I roll my eyes.

"That's why I always run right out of class as soon as the bell rings"

"Oh I know" I say "anyway... I was soaked and you offered your leather jacket to shield me from the rain outside, even if it was the only thing you had to protect yourself, and even if it would mean having your jacket all sticky"

He just looks at me, not saying anything.

"My point is... you offered your jacket and you offered to drive me home, even if we live on the opposite side of town. Someone as kind as you doesn't deserve... this shit"

He smiled embarrassed and lets out a nervous laugh.

"You really think that? But... I might've changed and gone crazy" he suggests.

"Well, if you don't believe me.. here's my second reason: Dustin just doesn't become attached to evil souls.." I smile at him and he looks surprised, relieved.

"Thank you, m'lady" he says.

"You're welcome, my lord"

We just look at each other, he looks at me with affection and gratitude. He reach out to grab my hand but Dustin's voice stops him.

"Y/n do you copy?"

Dustin...

"Sorry" I tell Eddie, who just sighs.

"What a timing, Henderson" I hear him mutter.

"Yeah, I copy. What's up?" I ask grabbing the radio Dustin gave me before leaving.

"Are you coming back?"

"Steve... you know I'm a grown-up? Right?" I chuckle.

"I don't care, honey, it's dangerous and.. and" he starts.

"Stevie, Stevie.. I'm coming back soon, I promise. Calm down... jesus, you're worse than any mother" I tell him "I'm coming, bye"

And I put away the radio not waiting for an answer.

"Mommy wants you home, uh?" Eddie says.

"Apparently.." I roll my eyes.

"Okay" he says, a disappointed smile on his face.

"I'm.. I'm sorry." I look at him "I really am"

"It's cool, really, it's Harrington being a pain in the ass" he tries to laugh it off.

"Yeah" I laugh. "I'll come back as soon as I can.. I promise"

"You promise?" He asks, regaining that playful smile.

"Of course...you got my Walkman there" I say playfully, pointing at my Walkman.

"Right, gotta have to give it back at some point I guess" he chuckles.

"Definitely" I give him a smile before heading to the door.

"Wait" he says walking up to me. "Be careful out there."

He's looking at me with the sweetest smile and eyes I've ever seen. I could literally melt on the spot.

"Sure" I smile back.

I turn, open the door and walk out, before I can close the door behind me, he stops me once more.

"And.. by the way.. we were definitely flirting" he winks and closes the door.

"Oh my god" I mutter, feeling completely speechless.

"How's Eddie?" Dustin asks as soon as I enter the Wheeler's basement.

"He's... he's fine, I cheered him up and gave him my Walkman so he'll... uh.. keep his mind busy somehow" I tell him.

"You... cheered him up?" Steve looks at me surprised.

"Yeah.. I mean he was laughing at some point so.. I guess" I say looking everywhere but them.

"What did I miss? You guys are together or something?" Lucas asks, visibly confused.

"No.. no" I answer.

"We're sure Eddie has a thing for her, but she doesn't want to believe us" Dustin points out.

I just roll my eyes sitting beside Lucas and looking at what seems some old papers.

"What's this?" I ask starting to reading the titles.

"Robin and Nancy's found these articles about Victor Creel" Dustin answers.

Cool.

"Okay, be honest. Uh..you guys understand any of this?" Steve questions, he was already reading one when I came in.

"No"

"Pretty straightforward" Dustin states.

"Oh straightforward, really?" Steve raises his eyebrows at him.

"What's confusing to you?" Dustin's being a know-it-all and Steve being irritated by it is my favourite thing in the world, but I try to hold back a giggle.

"So far, everyone Vecna has cursed died, except for this old Victor Creel dude Nancy found. He's the only known survivor. If anyone knows how to beat this creature, it's him" Dustin keeps explaining.

"Well... that makes sense... the killing mode is the same, according to what's written here" I comment pointing at the papers.

"Yeah, but that's assuming he was cursed, Henderson, which we don't even know. How can Vecna have existed in the '50s? It doesn't make sense" He talks to himself more than to us at this point.

"As far as we know, Eleven didn't create the Upside Down. She opened a gate to it. The Upside Down has probably been around for thousands of years. Millions. I wouldn't be surprised if it predated the dinosaurs." Dustin responds.

"Dinosaurs? What are we-"

"Okay" Lucas chimed in "but if a gate didn't exist in the '50s, how did Vecna get through?"

"And how's getting through... now?" I ask.

"And why now?" Lucas adds.

"And why then? He just pops out in the '50s, kills one family, and he's like, 'Oh I'm good'. And poof, he just disappears. Just...gone? Only to return 30 years later and start killing some random teens? No, I don't buy it." Steve rambles then exhales deeply. "Straightforward, my ass. You know, honestly, Henderson, a little humility every now and then, it wouldn't hurt you"

"Ooh mommy's mad" I mutter to Lucas, but Steve apparently heard me because he glares at me but he eventually sits down too.

I just notice.. Max sitting at a desk writing something. I don't think I could even imagine what she's thinking.

"Any idea what she's writing?" Dustin asks.

"I don't know" I whisper and Lucas only shrugs.

"Did she sleep?" I ask.

"I mean, would you?" Lucas questions back at me.

We're gonna find a way.. I know. We have to.

My thoughts are interrupted by a door violently opening and the arrival of Nancy and Robin.

"Okay so.." Nancy starts" We have a plan"

"Great"

"So, thanks to Nancy's minions, we are now rock-star psychology students at the University of Notre Dame." Robin explains.

"I'm now Ruth"

"And I'm Rose"

"Nice GPA" Dustin comments looking at 'Ruth' file.

"So we called Pennhurst Asylum, told them we'd like to speak with Victor Creel for a thesis we're co-writing on paranoid schizophrenics-" Nancy explains.

"To which they said no" Robin quickly adds.

"But we landed a three o'clock with the director" Nancy continues.

"Now all we have to do is charm him and convince him to let us talk to Victor" Robin states, simply as breathing.

"Then maybe we can rid Max of this curse"

"Sounds like a plan" I say.

"About that. We've been doing our Victor Creel homework, and uh... we got some questions" Steve speaks.

"Lots of questions" Lucas adds.

"So do we. Hopefully, Victor has the answers" Nancy says with a sigh.

"Wait.. wait... wait.. wait a second. Uh... Where's mine?" Steve asks with a nervous chuckle looking around.

"Me and Nancy are going." Robin informs him.

"What? Why?" Steve is...unsurprisingly surprised he wasn't included in the plan.

"Because being three would definitely make them suspicious" Nancy say standing up and heading upstairs.

"Also, me and Nancy found out about him so.. it's fair" Robin basically mocks him.

"Wha-? C'mon.. Nance!" He starts to run upstairs to catch up on Nancy.

"What's up with him?" Robin asks me, looking at me with an amused smile.

"He has... like.. the protector syndrome.. or-" I start.

"He still has a thing for her" Dustin chimes in and I nod.

"Ooh" She realises. "Also.. How's Eddie?" She asks.

"Oh he's good, he-" I interrupt myself when I see her teasing smile. "What are you smiling at?"

"Robin!" Nancy calls for her from upstairs.

"Gotta go" and she runs upstairs too.

"Wait.. Robi-... fuck" I sigh and close my eyes in frustration.

When I feel observed, I open my eyes seeing Lucas and Dustin looking at me.

"What?" I ask them, rather annoyed.

"Oh nothing... just... I'm right" Dustin states proudly.

"What about humility?" I ask him, rhetorically.

"Well even I know Eddie has a thing for you" Lucas chimes in.

"He does not"I groan. "Guys, c'mon it's a way to distract himself. No big deal"

"You gotta start to believe someone could actually like you. You're cool, you're a badass, Y/n. You fight monsters." Dustin tries to convince me.

"Yeah but I can't say fuck off to a dickhead who's groping me" I blurt out without thinking.

Lucas looks at me apologetically, while Dustin is speechless.

"What?" He almost shouts, his jaw clenching.

"Don't worry about it, it's... it's nothing" I shake my head trying to dismiss the thing, but Dustin is not one to let something like this go this easily.

"Who was it?" He asks.

"No o-"

"Andy, from the team" Lucas cuts me off answering Dustin.

"Does Steve know?"

I shake my head.

"He just saw him insisting on taking me to a party.. and stopped him right away" I tell him.

"You didn't tell Steve what happened in the gym?" Lucas asks.

"What about the gym?"

Fuck. I didn't hear Steve coming back in the basement. Nancy and Robin must've left.

"Weren't you begging Nancy to take you with them?" I joke, trying to change the subject.

"What about the gym?" He repeats his question, more sternly and crossing his arms.

I deeply sigh, looking at Lucas giving him permission to tell Steve what happened.

"Well... there were basketball practice and she-" Lucas starts, but is cut off by Steve.

"I didn't ask you." He looks at me "what. About. The gym?"

I look down at my rings playing with them, nervously.

"Fuck.." I mutter.

"I'm listening" he says cupping his ear towards me to show me that he was, indeed, listening.

"I had to take some pictures of the team practicing, for the paper. It was going all good, I was taking the photos and all. When I was preparing the camera for the next shots... this guy approached me.. he started by asking me about the pictures, he.. uh.. he got closer, to look at the camera and he suddenly whispered some.. some.. things. When I tried to get away, he... uh.." my feel my voice breaking a little.

"He grabbed her waist holding her, he wasn't letting her go until the bell rang" Lucas finishes for me, thankfully.

"Why didn't you tell me? Is he the same guy who invited you to the party?" He asks and I nod "I thought he was just insisting the other night... I'm so sorry, honey" Steve apologies.

"Stevie, you have nothing to be sorry for" I let out a little chuckle.

"It's Andy who should apologise" Dustin says and Steve nods.

"Yeah... I know.. can we please change subject.. we got bigger shit to worry about" I look at all of them "please?" I repeat.

"Fine.. but this is not over" Steve sweetly tells me, sitting beside me.

I really hope Nancy and Robin find some answers, we need them. Now more than ever.

I really can't even think about losing Max, she's literally the sister I never had.. and I'd punch myself so hard for realising it now.

"Stop staring" I whisper at the boys.

I know they're worried sick, but staring at her won't help.

"I already know they're staring" Max all of sudden answers me.

"What, sorry?"

"You said you needed something?"

"Just hanging out"

They all try to act casual, failing miserably. I chuckle at them.

"How you think your eyes boring into the back of my head is protecting me from Vecna, I don't know" she says gathering something and standing up to walk to us.

He stops before us, the boys keep pretending to do anything else, so I playfully roll of my eye looking at her.

"You can look at me now" she tells them.

"Thank you, sorry"

"Sorry" They all say.

Max looks at the envelopes she has in her hands, and after letting out a small sigh she hends them to us.

"For you" she hands one to Dustin. "For you" one to Steve. "For you" one to me. "And, uh... For you" she hands the last one to Lucas.

"Oh, and, uh... give these to Mike, El and Will. If you can ever get a hold of them again."

Steve and Dustin start to open the letter, but Max quickly stops them.

"What are you doing. No, don't. That's not for now. Don't open it now."

"No? Okay" Dustin mutters. "I'm sorry, what is this?"

"It's, uh...it's a fail-safe. For after. If things don't work out." She says, defeat in her voice.

"Wait, whoa. Max, things are gonna work out" Lucas tries to reassure her.

"No!" She stops him "no, I don't need you to reassure me and tell me it's all gonna work out. People have been telling me that my entire life and it's almost never true. It's never true. I mean, of course this asshole curses me. Should've seen that one coming"

I can see the anger, the sadness... the fear in his voice. It breaks my heart... fuck, if we ever find this Vecna I'm gonna kill him myself.

She then goes grab the radio from the table.

"If we go to east Hawkins, will this reach Pennhurst?" She asks.

"Of course" Dustin softly says.

"Why are we talking about East Hawkins?" Steve asks alarmed.

We all share a look that Steve's ready to stop

"No, no no no no"

We all convinced Steve to drive, obviously, he can't say no to us, especially after Max's threat of suing him.

We drove to Max's trailer so she could leave her letters to her mother, but when she cane back she was scared, terrified..

She's now by Billy's grave, reading her letter to him probably. We're waiting for her by the car.

"She better hurry" Steve says, annoyed only to hide how actually worried he is.

"C'mon Steve, it's the least we could do. Help her, support her as much as we can until we find a way to save her" I tell him.

"Hopefully soon" Lucas adds.

"Hopefully soon" I nod.

My leg is bouncing, I'm biting my nails as my eyes are fixed on Max.

"All right, it's been long enough" Steve gets out of the car, walking to Max.

"Steve, just give her some time." Lucas tries to hold him back.

"I have, all right, Sinclair? I'm calling it. If she wants to get a lawyer, she can" Steve replies.

"Steve!" I call him. I look at Dustin and Lucas and go to follow Steve.

"Max! Time to giddy up. Yeah? Max?.." he says.

I catch up with him and I see him shaking Max and calling her name, but I hear no answer from her.

"What's happening?" I ask, kneeling in front of her right away. "Max!"

"Wha-"

"It's like yesterday.. in ms Kelly's office..." I tell him, I widen my eyes. "Vecna"

"Wake up" Steve keeps trying clapping his hands to somehow catch her attention, no use.

"Fuck!" I swear. "GUYS!" I call them.

"Max, wake up! Wake up" Steve keeps repeating those words over and over hoping they might work anytime soon.

Lucas and Dustin arrive too and they too start to call Max, tell her to wake up.

Nothing works.. Nothing.

"Call Nancy and Robin! Go get them! Call Nancy and Robin! Go!" Steve screams at Dustin, who runs to the car ready to call the girls.

Let's hope they found an answer... let's Fucking hope.

"Max, Max c'mon, wake up. Wake up, please"

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

I feel my eyes tearing up, I can't lose her, we can't lose her.

I look over Dustin, standing on top of the car, probably to find a better signal or something.

Shit... they're not answering.

"Max! Get outta there" they keep shouting.

I can only stare at her eyes... her empty eyes.

"Max please.."

All of a sudden Dustin's back, with... Max's Walkman and cassettes...? What?

"What is this?" Lucas asks.

"What's her favourite song?" Dustin asks.

"Why?"

"Robin says if she liste ... it's too much to explain right now. What's her favourite song?" He shouts

I start to think of what's her favourite song.. I know I know it.

"Oh shit shit shit... I know I know... fuck" I mutter and everyone looks at me.

"Think!"

"I am thinking... fuck... Kate Bush...one Kate Bush song...fuck"

We look at her cassettes trying to find some of Kate Bush's songs.

I look at the list of songs.

"Cloudbusting... no.. the big sky... no shit...the morning fog... no.. Here! This one!" I hand Dustin the cassette and he immediately put it in the Walkman and put the headphones on Max.

We keep calling her name anyway, to wake her up somehow.

It seems like nothing's happening... then she starts to levitate.

Oh shit, Eddie said that is what happened to Chrissy right before... dying.

I instinctively hold Steve's hand, we don't stop calling her name, not once.

"C'mon Max" I whisper, this better fucking work.

Suddenly we hear her gasp and soon after she falls on the ground.

We all gather around her to check on her.

She's breathless, like she just stopped running. Lucas is hugging her tightly to him.

I let out a big sob and finally my tears fall down my cheeks.

"I thought we lost you" Lucas says to Max, still holding her close.

"I'm still...I'm still here" she tells him, grabbing onto him just as tightly.

"Shit" I mutter and Steve hugs me to him, rubbing my back.

"You're fine.. oh fuck you're fine" I say... well, more to make me realise that than anything.

We all stay there to catch our breath.

[spine-buster]

To Sail Beyond the Sunset ft. Sidney Crosby | Chapter 4

gif credit @/9116

A/N: Surprisingly, no flashback scene in this one...but we finally get to figure out what June's hiding! And some interesting thoughts from Sid...

Lazy nights with June on the lake were Sidney’s favourite thing to do in the summer. Besides fishing, it was probably the one activity that brought him the most solace. It was the only time that his mind was completely clear from any worries, doubts, overthinking, everything – even hockey. Time with June was the best medicine in the world; it was the cure for everything, and the thing Sidney always wanted.

It was Canada Day, which meant that June was over. Sidney heard his screen door open as the sun set over Shubenacadie Grand Lake, and saw June carrying their drinks – a Jack and coke for him, a margarita for her – before she closed the door with her foot and walked over. “Thanks Junebug,” he said as she handed him his drink.

“Anytime,” she smiled, settling in right next to him, as she often did, the entire left side of her body pressed up against his right. She raised her margarita and he raised his Jack and coke. “To Canada,” she said.

Sidney clinked their glasses together. “To Canada.”

“And to Mr. Canada-who-scored-the-Golden-Goal.”

Sidney snorted. “You just had to, didn’t you?”

“Of course I did,” June put on an exaggerated smile, clinking their glasses together again for good measure. “Do the people across the lake still do fireworks?”

“Mhmm,” he nodded, taking a sip of his drink.

“Good, she said, leaning her head against Sidney’s bicep as they looked out onto the lake. “Nothing can beat this sunset, though.”

Sid smiled, taking another quick sip of his drink. They were quiet for a few minutes, just listening to the sound of the lake waves gently rolling. Sidney was thinking about the feeling of June nestled into him. This was far from the first time that they’d been in this position, but the feeling of her body so close felt…different now, especially when Andy’s words were still mulling around at the back of his mind.

Sidney thought about June as a wife. She’d been engaged before, to a man named Cameron Currie from Toronto. His family bred thoroughbred horses at a farm north of the city and had been doing so for generations – they socialized in very prominent circles and donated money to the arts, which is how June met him. He was a nice guy, well-to-do, great pedigree and all that, but they called off the wedding. June told him it was because they couldn’t work out some things, and that they could never find a resolution. While Sidney was happy for her, and wanted to see her happy, at the back of his mind, he would think about her life as a wife. Would they buy a new house together, or inherit his parents’ farm? Would June be a hostess to the social circles and put on parties with passed canapés and champagne flutes? Would she put all their commitments on a shared calendar? Would she visit him at work and support him in his business endeavours? Would she take off her robe at night, get into bed, put hand cream on, and read a book until she fell asleep? Would she kiss him goodnight? It was probably sick to think about, but Sidney did it anyway. And whenever feelings of jealousy would arise in him, he’d squash them down quickly, wondering why he was even feeling jealousy in the first place.

For the first time, Sidney’s mind wandered, and he let it go further, further than he’d ever taken it before. He thought about June as his wife. He thought about her teaching her classes and him dropping by more often and how her girls would probably giggle and call her Mrs. Crosby instead of Miss June just for fun. He thought about her being home when he got home from a game or a road trip and hugging him at the door. He thought about her running him an Epsom salt bath for him after a long road trip or gruelling game. He thought about her making him grilled cheese sandwiches when he missed home. He thought about her cuddling into him at night and holding each other as they slept, or being one of those couples that always had to be touching somehow when they slept, even if it was just a foot. He thought about her attending his games – more of them, obviously, since she’d be around all the time. He thought about waking up together in the morning and making coffee. He thought about hearing the sound of little feet running down the hallways and jumping into bed with them to cuddle underneath the covers.

He thought about June as a mom. He held his breath in his chest when he did, but his mind was running wild. He thought about breakfasts together in the mornings and dinners together at night. He thought about everybody helping out in the kitchen and throwing spaghetti against the cupboards. He thought about being at the table and doing homework together. He thought about school runs and birthday parties and hockey practice and dance classes. He thought about Halloween costumes and Christmas decorations. He thought about baking cookies for Santa and wrapping the kids’ presents and staying up to put them under the tree. He thought about June scooping their kids up in her arms and peppering their faces with kisses. He thought about her brushing and braiding their hair. He thought about them reading to their kids at night. He thought about them sitting out on the deck, with their kids in their lap, watching Canada Day fireworks over the lake.

Their kids.

Sidney could feel his heart skip a beat at the thought of having a family with June. To say he never thought about it would be a lie, but every time his mind wandered and it did come up, he would think to himself that it was impossible. They’d grown up together, they had been separated but still stayed close, they had entered into other relationships with other people and never once mentioned the possibility of being together. Being with him – was it something June even wanted? Being with him in that way? And more than that – she wasn’t just with him. She was with Sidney Crosby. He knew that he wasn’t “Sidney Crosby” as an abstract idea to her, as he was to everybody else, but she would be with Sidney Crosby and the idea of Sidney Crosby, and that was a lot to take on. He could understand completely if—

“Sid?”

“Yeah Junebug?”

“You were just sort of…out of it there,” she said, her tone having a bit of worry. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, trying to play it off. Just thinking about you as my wife and the mother to our children. “Just had a rough workout with Andy.”

“He didn’t even give you the day off for Canada Day?”

“You know Andy.”

June laughed slightly. “I do. He never quits.”

When the sun had set, and the sky became pitch black except for the light of the moon and stars, the fireworks from neighbouring cottages on the lake began. The distant sounds of kids screaming every time a pop went off and exploded into the air made Sid and June smile. They were done their drinks by the time the fireworks finished, and they were both almost too comfortable to get up. But it was getting cold, and June’s feet were always colder than the rest of her body. When they moved inside, Sidney immediately got a blanket out of a pouf June made him buy for the family room and turned his TV on to Netflix. “What are we watching?” he asked.

June was bringing their glasses back to the kitchen. “I don’t know. Something patriotic?” she joked.

“I don’t think so,” Sid grinned. “Come on. What have you been watching?”

“Honestly? Selling Sunset.”

He burst out into laughter. “Seriously, Junebug?”

“It’s addicting!” she defended herself as she walked back to the family room. “It’s mindless and mind-numbing and I love it, okay? Forgive me for getting into a show like that after the doom and gloom of the last year and a half.”

Sidney rolled his eyes playfully. “Alright, fine. Selling Sunset it is,” he said, plopping down on the couch, into the corner of the sectional. June unfolded the blanket, sat on the couch next to Sid, and lay it at their feet. She leaned into him just as she’d done outside, using his bicep to rest her head against. He scrolled through Netflix to find the show, and played the episode and season June told him to play.

He had no idea what was happening, so he would ask June some questions. “What’s her name?”; “Her husband is how old?”; “Wait didn’t we just see her?” At some point, he noticed June’s voice get softer. Eventually, when he pointed out how ugly a house was and she didn’t respond, he looked down to see that she had fallen asleep against him, her chest rising and falling softly. She looked incredibly peaceful that Sidney couldn’t help but smile. Like many things, this wasn’t the first time, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last time. This time, he decided not to wake her. Instead, he let the TV show be background noise and allowed himself to fall asleep too.

***

Nathan MacKinnon and the Colorado Avalanche had, unfortunately, been defeated in the playoffs by the Las Vegas Golden Knights. That meant now that Nate was back home in Halifax, but it also meant that Nate was angry and trying to get over yet another second-round exit by his team. As one of his best friends, but more importantly his mentor, Sidney took the role very seriously. He had talked to Nate already – a long, emotional conversation – and assured him that he felt the same way about his own team’s exit. It took a while, but Nate did seem to get over it – superficially, at least – and was in the mood to work out on a consistent schedule with Sid and Andy. This was a positive, since Nate loved them. He took his diet, nutrition, and fitness extremely seriously – unlike Sid, who ate what he wanted to eat (like four grilled cheese sandwiches made by June) and drank what he wanted to drink.

However, despite the workouts being consistent and Nate’s typical responses of getting hot-headed and angry when he lost a race or a drill, Sidney was shocked to see that at this particular workout, Nate was paying more attention to his phone than he was the pylons for his lateral movement training. But when he saw the tell-tale answer – a smile from Nate – Sid knew he was going to rib him. “What’s keeping you on your phone?” he decided to start off light.

He clearly caught Nate off guard. Nate looked up quickly, pretending that he hadn’t just spent the last few seconds staring at his phone screen and smiling. “Nothing. It’s nothing,” Nate was dismissive.

“I don’t think it’s nothing,” Sid pressed, a grin growing on his face.

“It’s nothing. Just drop it,” Nate insisted.

“Stop pretending it’s nothing,” Sid countered, being an ass.

“Not pretending.”

By Nate’s tone of voice, Sid knew he had him right where he wanted him. “Then why were you smiling?”

“God, what are you, a private investigator?”

“Detective Crosby at your service,” he said. “Come on, man. Is it a girl?” he asked, already knowing the answer to the question.

“No.”

“Is it a guy?”

“No.”

“Is it—”

“—Sid, I’m asking you nicely. Please drop it.”

Sid could tell Nate was ready to explode by the playful line of questioning. Nate didn’t like to get called out on his mysterious behaviours and when he did, he went off. Sid was one of the only people who could call him out on it though. Though Sid wanted to take things further and aggravate Nate a little more, he dropped it. “Okay, fine. But if it’s a girl you should bring her around sometime,” he put in one last quip.

“Oh, you mean just like how June’s meeting us for lunch?” Nate decided to bite back. Two could play at this game.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Nate rolled his eyes. “I don’t think I have to spell it out for you, do I?” he asked. “You guys are in love with each other. Always have been.”

Sid furrowed his brows. “Where’d that come from? Did Andy tell you to say something?”

Nate laughed out loud. “Andy thinks so too?” he asked. Clearly Andy hadn’t said anything to Nate, which made what he said all the more shocking to Sid. “Nobody has to tell me anything, Sid. I saw it the first day I met her, and I see it in you all the fucking time. We can all see how in love you guys are.”

Sid shook his head. He couldn’t take this from a guy eight years younger than him. “It’s not like that. It’s different with her. She’s my best friend.”

“Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?” Nate asked rhetorically. “You wouldn’t want to marry someone you’re not friends with, right?”

“Well, sure, but—”

“—But what? It’s not rocket science. You guys just don’t see it, do you?”

Sid couldn’t say anything back. He couldn’t talk back to Nate because he knew Nate made a good point. Just like Andy. But Sid couldn’t say that out loud, because he was still trying to grapple with his feelings, whatever they were. “Hey Nate?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m asking you nicely. Please drop it.”

Using Nate’s own words against him was the only way Sid knew to fight back at this particular moment. Nate understood that completely, but he wasn’t going to let Sid off the hook. And truth be told, Sid shouldn’t have let him off the hook either. They were best friends – they should be able to talk about this stuff. “Her name is Sorcha,” Nate revealed. “We grew up together. Went to all the same schools. But she was bullied really badly because of her size and her hair and all that stupid shit, and I was friends with the guys that did it. I saw her the other week in a café and we’ve been reconnecting. I don’t know exactly what’s happening but I know that I want to be spending almost all my time with her.”

“So you like this girl?”

Nate nodded. “I like her a lot. It almost scares me how fast I got really into her. She’s a sparkplug and she takes no shit from anybody, let alone me. She’s got this confidence to her and I—I’m just so attracted to her and I don’t know what to do.”

Sid nodded softly. He and Nate would always end up this way – being secretive before spilling their guts to one another. “June’s already been engaged. I don’t know if she’d ever want to do that again. And to do that with me. I mean I know—I know we’ve known each other forever, but nowadays, being with Sidney Crosby means something a hell of a lot different than if I was just some guy from Cole Harbour.”

Nate nodded his head now too, completely understanding where Sid was coming from. But Sid was still so blind, and Nate wanted to open his eyes. “Do you want my honest opinion?”

“Of course.”

“She’s always been with Sidney Crosby, bro. From Shattuck to Rimouski to the Penguins and the gold medals, she’s always been with you. I don’t think your question should be if she wants to do it with you. I think she has been doing it with you and will always do it with you no matter what. It’s just up to you guys to have that conversation about your future together.”

Fucking hell, Nate was right. He was exactly right. How could he be so dead-on about something? Sidney wondered what he and June looked like to outside eyes if this was the opinion of the majority of people around them. Did everybody think this? Was everyone just waiting on baited breath until they got together? “Since when did you get so mature?” he asked Nate,

“Since I started hanging out with you, bro.”

***

June said she was working late again tonight. So Sidney had a plan.

Late lessons meant that lights would be on in the studio. It meant June’s car would be in the parking lot. It meant that he’d see a parent’s car dropping off their daughter and coming back after however long to pick her up. It meant that Sidney was in his car across the street watching and waiting to see if all that happened.

It didn’t.

Once the lesson was over, parents did come to pick up their daughters. But nobody returned. Not after an hour. Not after two hours. Not even after three hours. It was only June’s car in the parking lot for the entire night – nobody else came or went, not even a cleaning crew. That’s when Sidney knew something was up, and that’s when he knew he needed to get to the bottom of it tonight.

When he saw from across the street that the lights in the studio were starting to be turned off, he got out of his car and walked across the street. When he saw June emerge, locking the front door behind her, he approached. “Junebug,” he called out her nickname so she wouldn’t get startled and scream.

She still jumped at the sound of her nickname. She looked up, clearly shocked to see him there. “Sid? What are you doing here?”

“You told me you had extra lessons,” he said. He didn’t want to make this too confrontational, but he knew that if he didn’t press things, he wouldn’t get anything out of her. “I saw everybody leave and then nobody came back.”

“You were watching?”

“I—right across the street,” he pointed over to his Range Rover in the parking lot across from them. “You’ve been acting funny and now all of a sudden you’re supposedly giving extra lessons when I know you want these girls to live a normal life outside of ballet. Why’d you lie to me, Junebug?”

June let out a sigh. She’d been caught – and of course she’d been caught, because her best friend in the entire universe was Sidney fucking Crosby. “Sid, it’s not what you think it is.”

“Really? Because I’m thinking you’re keeping a big secret from me, and we never keep secrets from each other.”

“Sid, I—”

Suddenly, it hit him. “Do you have a secret boyfriend you’re not telling me about?”

“Oh my GOD Sidney,” June rolled her eyes like she was a fourteen-year-old girl again. Why on God’s green Earth Sidney would ever think she’d get a boyfriend and hide him was a mystery to her. “I do not have a secret boyfriend and you know that.”

“Then what’s going on? Were you seeing anyone in there?”

“I wasn’t seeing—UGH!!!” she let out a loud, slightly angry, and exasperated groan at his jumping to conclusions. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down – so did Sid, waiting for her to answer for her secretive behaviour. She didn’t – couldn’t – even look him in the eye as she mustered up the courage to reveal to him what she’d been doing. She didn’t know what reaction to expect from him. “I’m dancing again, Sid,” she finally revealed.

He was shocked. June watched as his jaw dropped slightly, but he must have been aware, because he picked it right back up after a few moments. “You—you’re dancing again?”

“Yes. After the girls leave I just—I just sort of dance alone in the studio.”

Sidney felt so stupid that he accused her of having a boyfriend now. This was not what he was expecting given what had happened to her. “I can’t believe it,” he didn’t know what else to say. “I—pointe shoes and everything?”

“Mhm. Pointe shoes and everything,” she used his words, nodding her head slightly as looking down at her feet. “I’m just seeing if I can do it again. The pointe, I mean. And the movements and variations and grand pas and all that. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to become a professional dancer again or anything—”

“You’re still a professional dancer, Junebug,” he interrupted, his voice soft. “Nothing or no-one will take that away from you.”

June didn’t respond, looking away after Sidney’s words. If she did look at him, she was sure she would burst into tears. “Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing. Not off gallivanting with some secret boyfriend.”

Sidney felt like an idiot. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

“Can I watch you one day?”

June’s eyes focused on his. He’d seen her dance countless times before, but they had all been when she was in the National Ballet of Canada and their company. Every time he’d seen her, she’d been at the top of her game. She hadn’t danced in a proper ballet since her injury, obviously, and though she knew Sidney wouldn’t have an ounce of judgement in him, she didn’t know if she was prepared for him to see her dance after not dancing for almost six years. Especially since he was still at the top of his game, so talented and gifted despite his age. To her, he still played like a 21-year-old when he won his first Cup. The things he did on the ice still inspired her. Though she was still surrounded by ballet in her every day life, their situations were vastly different. “Maybe one day,” she said hopefully. She knew she would have to fight for the courage.

Sidney understood. June took a lot of pride in what she did. He bit his bottom lip slightly. “When you are ready to let me watch, can you tell me?”

“Of course.”

“Promise?”

June held up her hand, extending her pinky. Sidney let out a chuckle and he raised his too, locking their fingers together. “Promise.”