#best budget phones 2022

[httech]

Best Android Phones 2023 | Samsung, Xiaomi, Google | Tech 101 | HT Tech

We'll be taking a look at the best Android phones of 2023. Whether you're in the market for a new phone or just curious about what's out there, this video is for you. We'll be covering the latest and greatest smartphones from top brands like Samsung, Google, Xiaomi, and more. We'll also be taking into account factors like performance, camera quality, battery life, and overall value

[rangpurcity]

Year Ender 2022: From Realme to Motorola, these powerful budget smartphones launched this year

Year Ender 2022: From Realme to Motorola, these powerful budget smartphones launched this year

highlights In 2022, Motorola launched the E22s, with an initial price of Rs 8,999. Realme’s C30s has been introduced in 2022 this year. Infinix Hot 20 Play has been launched with 4 GB / 64 GB variants. New Delhi. There are only a few days left for 2022 to end, and this year mobile companies are doing many experiments with phones. This year, the phones of companies like Samsung, Xiaomi, Realme…

[trandtalk]

Vivo V25 with color change, 50 MP selfie camera launching in India on September 15

Vivo V25 with color change, 50 MP selfie camera launching in India on September 15

Considering the price of the ‘Pro’ model, the Vivo V25 5G price in India should fall in the sub-30K segment. Credit social media Vivo is gearing up to launch a new smartphone in its V series in India. Vivo V25 launch in India has been officially teased on e-commerce website Flipkart. Vivo has provided an official launch date for the vanilla V25 5G in India, which will be part of Flipkart’s…

[buymobilenz]

We selling different types of unlocked gaming phones in our BuyMobile New  Zealand online mobile retail store.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Guide to a ripoff-free funeral

In the decade-plus that I’ve been reading and watching Caitlin Doughty, I’ve become increasingly aware that even death is no escape from late-stage capitalism — indeed, if you have the misfortune to die unprepared, you will pass out of this world attended by a monopolistic, rapacious, price-gouging monopoly.

https://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/

Indeed, the situation is so grim that I’ve often joked about leaving my body to med-school pranks: corpse at the alumni dinner, arm hanging from a toll-booth, etc. But for the mourners whose grief is turned into cash, this is no laughing matter.

Writing today for Propublica, Carson Kessler delivers an essential piece of service journalism: “How to Avoid Being Overcharged for a Funeral,” whose advice and analysis is exactly the kind of clear guidance needed to carry you through a very difficult moment:

https://www.propublica.org/article/how-to-negotiate-funeral-costs-qa

The funeral home industry is governed by a set of reasonably good regulations, but you only benefit from this if you know about them. Kessler turns to Joshua Slocum, of the Funeral Consumers Alliance to explain them:

You have the right to get a quote by phone;

You have the right to an itemized, printed price-list;

You have the right to order a la carte; funeral homes can’t force you to buy a bundle of products and services.

When your loved one dies, the first thing to remember is that “death is not an emergency.” Don’t let yourself be hurried (this is harder for people planning Jewish burials, which are scripturally mandated to take place within 24 hours of death).

If your loved one died in hospital, check whether the morgue will keep them for a few days while you check with funeral homes in a 20–30 mile radius. Set a budget. Under no circumstances should you tell a funeral director, “Money is no object, she deserves the best.”

Funeral home pricing can vary wildly — businesses within a few miles of each other will often charge thousands of dollars more or less than one another. Don’t imagine that you have a “family funeral home.” The funeral home you used last time is not part of your family — they’re a business.

As mentioned, funeral homes are actually the best-regulated part of the death industry. Far worse are cemeteries, which have transitioned from being largely nonprofit providers of public goods to for-profit ventures frolicking in an unregulated ocean of easy money.

https://www.propublica.org/article/cemetery-long-island-pinelawn-lockes-pinelawn

Cemeteries don’t have to show you price-lists and they can bundle products and services as a condition of doing business with them. If you buy a third-party tombstone and avoid their price-gouging, they’ll hit you with an “inspection fee” to make up the difference.

Thankfully, the FTC has taken up the long-neglected question of cemetery and funeral home regulation. A new docket seeks public comment on the question; the Funeral Consumers Alliance comments are an excellent template to start with:

https://www.regulations.gov/comment/FTC-2020-0014-0656

They call for an expansion of the rule requiring funeral homes to give you a printed price-list, so those lists would have to be published on funeral homes’ websites. More importantly, they’re calling for the extension of funeral-home rules to cemeteries, forcing them to disclose prices and unbundle services.

Private equity has rolled up funeral homes and cemeteries into massive, national chains of hundreds of businesses, and the giants of the industry, like Service Corporation International, have doubled their earnings between 2019 and 2021:

https://filecache.investorroom.com/mr5ir_scicorp/237/Investor%20Fact%20Sheet%201Q22.pdf

Caskets are also a monopoly. Hillrom is a private-equity backed rollup that has cornered the market on both hospital beds and caskets (talk about “complementary businesses!”), using its market power to jack up prices:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/05/hillrom/#baxter-international

Slocum advises that the best way to avoid funeral ripoffs is to shop around and skip the price-gouging funeral homes. Failing that, you can ask the funeral home to meet their competitors’ prices — even if they’ve already picked up your loved one’s body “as a courtesy.”

It’s not cheap or gauche to want to avoid having your pocket picked when you plant a loved one’s remains. Your mom might have wanted a decent burial, but she didn’t want you to hand over thousands of dollars to a hedge-fund-backed monopolist.

Remember, “everything is optional.” No US state requires embalming. This is an emotional moment, but that’s why it’s become a robber-baron racket.

Image: Eugene Peretz (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/peretzpup/3370664952/

CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

[Image ID: A graveside casket. Dancing atop it is a drawing of Monopoly's Rich Uncle Pennybags, but instead of a cane, he is wielding a scythe. His face has been turned into a skull.]

[notthehardtyres]

The 2023 grid, if the budget cap meant that each team could only afford a single hotel room with one bed for their drivers:

Red Bull: So No Homo that they won’t even sleep in the same bed. They argue over who gets the bed and who has to sleep in the armchair. Christian politely asks Max if he could give Sergio the bed because Sergio is older and needs to avoid screwing up his back, and Max says, “I told you already—”

Mercedes: Lewis is the big spoon, and George is the little spoon; they are perfectly comfortable and get a great night’s sleep, except for when Roscoe wakes George up at 5am. George somewhat hogged the blankets, though, so Lewis considers this appropriate vengeance.

Alfa Romeo: Valtteri flops onto the bed wearing nothing but his boxers and falls instantly asleep. Guanyu changes into expensive silk pajamas and lays his head on Valtteri’s chest to doze off. He wakes up in the morning gently pillowed in Valtteri’s arms. Later, Valtteri makes them the best coffee Guanyu has ever tasted.

Alpha Tauri: Yuki and Nyck make the comfiest pillow-and-blanket-nest known to humankind and simply cuddle in it with snacks and hot chocolate, looking at things on their phones and giggling. Eventually Yuki falls asleep snuggled up next to Nyck, and Nyck falls asleep while trying not to move and wake him up.

Alpine: Pierre and Esteban play it cool and joke and laugh about the situation until they’re alone together in the room, at which point the power plays begin. Each one tries to take greater control of the situation—declaring I want this side, I want that pillow, I’m setting the alarm for X o’clock, and so on. Five seconds after they actually get into bed, however, they begin pathetically making out and go on to have sex that leaves them both confused and emotionally devastated. This repeats every single race weekend.

McLaren: Lando and Oscar are uncomfortable with each other and have no idea what they’re doing, but they are also desperately lonely and horny, and they give each other messy handjobs before having quiet crises about their sexuality and independently deciding never to acknowledge it again. This also repeats every single race weekend.

Aston Martin: Fernando, who has been pretending to ignore Lance’s hopeless doe eyes since mid-2022, allows one mere second of smoldering eye contact when he is shirtless in bed with the sheets only pulled up to his hips, and that is all it takes for Lance to literally beg Fernando to fuck him. Lance actually passes out afterwards. Fernando smokes a cigarette.

Williams: Alex does everything possible to be a polite bedmate, he even showers and puts on deodorant before going to sleep. Logan steals the blankets, stays up playing with his phone, and pretends to proposition Alex in a blatantly homophobic way, at which point Alex rolls his eyes and starts making a makeshift bed on the floor out of pillows and chair cushions.

Ferrari: There is a very half-hearted No Homo attempt that lasts all of three minutes because they cannot stop gazing at each other, then making excuses to touch each other, then snuggling up together in bed. They proceed to have big-budget porn caliber sex for the. Entire. Night. And every adjacent room knows it.

Haas: Kevin and Nico low-key can’t stand each other, but they are grinning and bearing it. They sleep back-to-back, tugging the blankets back and forth periodically through the night. Nico wants a light on. Kevin wants complete darkness. Kevin wants it colder. Nico wants it warmer. They are so grumpy the next day that Guenther swaps with Nico; this results in his simply clinging to Kevin in his sleep all night. Kevin strongly considers re-retiring.

[astranva]

Tea & Confrontations

Word Count: 6.2k

Category: Angst, fluff-ish, but mostly angst

Warning: swear language

Summary: A mutual friend, and an inside source spills exclusive tea about your and Harry’s relationship, breakup, and your relationship with Joe Keery, and Joe confronts Harry.

a/n: this is set further down in time and not in October of 2022 for the sake of the fic’s timeline. let me know what you think! this is a long one x

.. 

Backstage Girlfriend Masterlist

Some days, you had found yourself regretting your choice of profession. Surely working as anything but a creative director, commonly known as Production Designer in the film industry–one who was successful and known as well–and having a circle of people who were in the entertainment industry wouldn’t have made you and Harry meet. Surely it was your profession. Surely it was the circle of big names and not-so-big ones that had your paths crossing years ago. Surely if it weren’t for it, you would have been getting over a breakup with an accountant or business developer of some sort, and only then, nobody would have given two shits about your breakup.

But that wasn’t the case.

And while you had had your days, meeting Joe had proved that everything worked out for the best.

“I was thinking that we might need to change Flo’s position for this shot.”

It wasn’t everyday that someone could be sitting next to one of Hollywood’s best directors, Christopher Nolan, but as the supervising production designer on his new movie, Oppenheimer, you were.

“The lighting on her face is coming from that side,” you pointed, “And if we have her on the other side, it’s more fitting to the mood.”

Nolan nodded along, looking at his screen in front of him, “Yeah, yeah, I see it,” he said, “Florence, can you stand on the left instead?” He called.

Working on one of the most anticipated movies with an incredible cast and crew, you were almost sleepless. As someone whose job was one between a Producer and a Director, your mind seemed to always be racing with the designs you worked on for the film, the budgeting, the storyboards, making sure all the teams you were working with were going according to plan—you loved your job, but saying you were busy would be an understatement.

It was why it wasn’t something you had anticipated nor wished for when the internet seemed to suddenly go crazy.

It was a rare day off when it happened, to your own bad luck and misfortune.

At 9 a.m., Joe had woken up before you, being gentle as he kissed your hair as you slept, overcome with the feeling of happiness that you were finally getting some sleep and rest, even if it was just for a day.

Time seemed to be dragged before Joe checked his phone that he had silenced before bed to make sure neither of you, and especially you, was disturbed.

Along with a few frantic texts from his friends, it was one of his sisters’ texts that he saw first:

Carolina: Don’t let Y/N come near her phone!!!

Caroline: Deux Moi released a podcast with an “exclusive source” that leaked everything about her previous relationship and yours

Caroline: Do NOT let her see this!

Carolina: https://www.hellomagazine.com/celebrities/20221002153091/harry-styles-exclusive-tea-yn-yln/

“Fuck,” Joe said under his breath, his shoulders slumping as he sat down, opening the link his sister sent him.

“Holivia was a stunt and Harry isn’t over Y/N”, says exclusive source about Harry Styles & ex, Y/N Y/L/N, on Deux Moi podcast and much more!

Joe only skimmed through the article, eyebrows furrowed as muscles tense as he decided to click on the link to the podcast, choosing to listen for himself.

“Today we have someone, let’s call them Kyle, and I feel like you guys will like this one,” the distorted voice of Deux Moi said, “I’ve been getting asked about Harry and Olivia, and about Harry and his ex, Y/N Y/L/N and her and Joe for so, so long now, and I always said I didn’t know so much about what actually went down. Like, I wasn’t sure if the things you all sent was truthful or just total cap, but Kyle here is an exclusive, you guys. Hey, Kyle.”

“Hey, hey, how are you?”

“I’m doing good, doing great. First of all, I’m really excited to talk about this because—Gosh, it’s what everyone has been talking about for so long and people are dying to know, so you’re literally going to end everyone’s misery.”

Kyle chuckled, “When I reached out to you, I actually had that in mind. Like, I just felt like I have been sitting on this one.”

“Yeah, thank you so much for reaching out,” the voice of Deux Moi said, “First of all, let’s start talking about Harry and Y/N. Do we have a timeline?”

“Yeah, so,” Kyle began, “Harry and Y/N met back in 2018.”

“Oh my God.”

“Yeah, there were some mutual friends and I was one of them, and we were all there for his last show on his first tour then we went backstage, and let me get this straight,” they paused, “That was literally love at first sight.”

“Shut up, no way!”

“When I tell you Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off of Y/N, I seriously mean it,” they said, “Y/N is shy. Like, she has a lot of friends and she’s, like, the sweetest person ever but the moment you meet her, she’s just shy and sweet and Harry off stage is exactly like that, but that night, he was trying so hard to talk to her, like just her, and he was blushing and she was, like, very flustered and all, and we all knew that we basically have some setting up to do.”

“Neither of them was in any relationship at the time?”

“No,” they answered, “Just two single people who basically had the hots for each other. So, that night, Harry and his bad and, like, everyone else, were all going out to celebrate the tour coming to an end and all and obviously we were all invited, but I remember he directly went to Y/N and he was like, “I’ll see you there, right?” and we were all just absolutely swooning.”

“This is everyone’s dream. Like imagine Harry Styles wanting to see you.”

“Exactly, exactly,” they agreed, “But Y/N wasn’t just starstruck with him because he’s a celebrity, you know? I don’t even know how to describe it but they moment they met, they just really clicked.”

“This is so cute.”

“Right?”

“So what happens next?”

“Well we go out and we party, and they dance together, they talk, and it basically looks like they’re on a date and everyone could see it. They exchanged numbers that night,” Kyle spilled, “So then like a couple of days later, we all go out for brunch.”

“Like, the friend group?”

“Yeah, we all basically decided that we needed to set them up so we were, like, set it into action at that point. So we all went out and they were just—there’s some shy flirting, you know? They were just talking and having a conversation all evening.”

“This feels like a fairytale.”

“We all placed our bets on them, honestly,” they said, “Anyway, we all met up more times after that, like two or three times, but I feel like—like it all just, sort of blossomed when we all went on a trip to Italy together, and I can’t tell you how absolutely smitten they were. They had their first date there,” Kyle said.

“No way!” The voice of Deux Moi gasped, “This is so adorable. Is that why it seems like Italy is like, so close to Harry? Like, it feels like he just goes there to relax and that it’s like his getaway of some sort.”

“Italy was their country, honestly,” they said, “Like they had their first date there, and then they later had so many vacations there, I feel like it was like their safe haven or something.”

“This is so adorable, I can’t. I literally can’t.”

“Right? Anyway, fast forwarding a bit, they were just so adorable together. Like, their relationship at that point was the perfect example of puppy love. Harry was the happiest we’ve ever seen him, Y/N was the happiest, everything was going so well.”

“When did they make it official?”

“It took them some time,” they answered, “Y/N met Harry’s family before they actually made it official. I think she met them around Christmas time and Harry just told us about how his family absolutely adored her,” they said, “But they made it official in 2019, first day of the year.”

“First of January?”

“Yup,” Kyle answered, “I can’t even begin to describe how they both were literally glowing at that point. They were just so in love, it was crazy.”

“Wait, so they were together for how many years before they broke up, again?”

“Three years.”

“Three years!”

“Three whole years, yeah,” Kyle repeated, “And everyone loved them together, and at the time, we all understood that they wanted to be private, because you know how things get with the fans and the media and all. But the fans, you know, they saw her and were beginning to join some dots but I think at some point, everyone assumed they were just friends because they were never really touching or kissing in the pictures, but I remember our friends talking about how much the fans loved Y/N.”

“You know, I get some sightings of Y/N, and it’s always with, like, the cutest stories. Like people telling me she’s so respectful, she’s cute, she’s nice, is big on tips, and all that, so I get why fans would love her,” the voice of Deux Moi said, “And I think I remember getting some messages about her getting fans concert tickets and merch.”

“She always did that,” Kyle confirmed, “I think that—Y/N is just a very humble and simple person, and I think she has always realized that with her place in the industry, she does have some privilege, right? Especially when she was Harry’s girlfriend and all, so she just really liked doing these things,” they said, “Like she always told him to get more in touch with his fans, and I think there were some arguments about ticket and merch pricing and all.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah, I think that’s why the fans loved her. You always pick up that vibe, you know? When someone is being real.”

“True. That’s so true,” Deux Moi agreed, “But—where did it all go wrong? I think it all went bad with the hate and all after Harry’s song got leaked. I remember that—she was getting so much hate. You know what? No, don’t answer that right now, we’ll get to it.”

Kyle chuckled, “Yeah, let’s take it one step at a time,” they said.

“Alright so, Holivia? That’s—That’s also the tea.”

“Oh, it’s hot,” Kyle laughed, “It’s very hot tea.”

“Right? Because I feel like from what you’re saying, Harry and Y/N, they were—they were endgame.”

“They really were,” they said, “But then Harry got the Don’t Worry Darling role and that’s when things went south,” they began, “Look, publicity stunts and scandals happen all the time. It’s a classic for a reason, too. It always works.”

“I agree.”

“So in 2020, there were talks about the stunt. Basically that Harry and Olivia start going out and all, and Y/N was—She was literally crushed when Harry said he was going to think about it.”

“She didn’t think he’d do it?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Kyle answered, “Obviously, she’s in the industry and she knows that these things happen all the time but when you’re in her position, it’s—it’s not so easy. But she was very supportive of his career and, like, respected his decisions and everything because she knew that he wouldn’t—like, he wouldn’t disrespect her, you know?”

A hum.

“Anyway, Harry agreed to it and he had conditions set. Like, he wanted it to still be lowkey and to, like, keep it on the minimum.”

“That’s not really how it goes,” Deux Moi joked.

“It’s not how it goes,” Kyle repeated.

“Did Y/N at any point—Or her and Harry, did they ever consider going public?”

“Y/N wanted that,” Kyle answered, “She’s mostly also private, but she just wanted everyone to know that they’re a couple, you know?”

“Yeah, nothing wrong with that. I’d want people to know that Harry Styles and I are together, too.”

Kyle laughed, “Right? But it was because—They’re both attractive people, so you have people shooting their shot at them all the time and at some point, it was a little hurtful to Y/N how she had to stay, like, very discreet about her relationship. It felt like a secret, you know?”

“Like she was hidden.”

“Exactly, exactly. And that’s just—It’s not fun and it does things to your mental health. Like, you start thinking.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“So anyway, the stunt was supposed to be short-term, but everything was just super intense. Shit mostly went down during Jeff and Glenne’s wedding.”

“Jeff is Harry’s manager, right?”

“Yeah,” they answered, “So when you’re in a relationship, obviously your plus one is you girlfriend, your boyfriend, like, your partner, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Y/N was asked to not attend with Harry and to, like, blend in.”

“No. Fucking. Way.”

“Swear,” Kyle assured, “Just so Harry and Olivia can make their debut as a couple.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“I know.”

“I think I felt my heart break,” Deux Moi said, “Are you kidding me?”

“I wish,” Kyle said, “We were all so worried about Y/N because she was literally crushed. Like, oh my God, I can’t even begin to describe it. Like, to the point that she wasn’t going to attend the wedding if it weren’t for Glenne insisting.”

“And how was it?”

“She was so anxious that day, and I think—I think that’s when Y/N really began doubting herself. Like, at that point, the relationship was making her feel like shit and she felt like—You know, she felt like she just wasn’t worthy of being Harry’s girlfriend, that maybe she wasn’t good enough for his image, all that talk.”

“Poor woman, I feel like crying right now,” Deux Moi gasped, “And how was Harry dealing with it?”

“Look, I can’t believe I’m saying that but I feel like there was just so much manipulation happening? I don’t know, I don’t know, because Harry really did love Y/N. He—Actually, he still does. Like he’d be agreeing to all that stunt shit then be the good boyfriend to Y/N so to her, it sort of felt like she didn’t really have the right to complain. Like he’d tell her that it was basically work, that he loves her, that it’ll all end soon, and she, you know, she took it all in and tried to go on with it to be a supportive girlfriend.”

“This is literally a toxic relationship.”

“Which is so sad! It’s so sad, because—because they really did love each other so much,” Kyle said.

“Still toxic,” Deux Moi said, “Did Olivia know? About Harry and Y/N?”

“Yeah, yeah, she did,” Kyle answered, “And I’ve seen some people say that she was mean to Y/N and stuff, but that’s not true. They were both actually respectful towards one another.”

“Y/N is way better than I can be, because I don’t know how I’d act with Olivia if I were her.”

“We were all so shocked, but if this proves anything, it just proves how above and beyond Y/N was willing to go for her relationship—for Harry.”

Deux Moi hummed, “Then what happens?”

“Y/N did tell Harry about how uncomfortable the situation is. Like, he knew, but you know, he’d always assure her and all. But then,” they enunciated, “Harry missed her birthday for a sighting, with Olivia.”

A gasp was heard, “No fucking way. No way, are you kidding?”

“I wish I were,” Kyle said, “But I remember we were all trying to plan a night out and one of us told her that, like, Harry better leave the night for us to celebrate her and all, and she was like, “Oh, he’s not going to be here all day”, and we were like “What?” and she just said “He just has things to deal with and do” and then later, we find some pictures, like papped pictures of Harry and Olivia and everyone was like “Oh.””

“I’m so shocked right now. I literally don’t know what to say.”

“Yeah. We celebrated her birthday that night and she just—she just wasn’t happy, you know?”

“Yeah, can you blame her? Who can blame her?”

“Exactly,” Kyle agreed, “But then, like a day later, Harry made it up to her by taking her to the Amalfi Coast.”

“But is that even worth anything?”

“That’s what we were saying. Like, he missed her actual birthday, and for what? But Y/N was—she was still appreciative. In a way, she was just constantly convincing herself that it’s his work after all,” they said, “But then—”

“I’m always scared of what follows that.”

Kyle laughed, “It’s bad, alright? I wasn’t kidding when I told you earlier that it’s a sad story.”

“Oh you definitely weren’t.”

“Yeah so, you know these pictures of Harry and Olivia? When they were kissing on a yacht?”

“Oh yeah, know those. Kissing on a yacht is a classic when it comes to these stunts, I’m surprised they still do it.”

“Right?” Kyle laughed, “Yeah, after those Y/N was like—she was just reaching the breaking point, you know? She asked for space. It wasn’t necessarily a break, but just—just some space, and Harry respected it and he gave her space but he was like—he sent her flowers, sent her some letters, you know, stuff like that.”

“If it weren’t for the context, I would’ve said that was cute.”

“Right,” they chuckled, “But like, soon after, they went out for brunch and we all were—we were literally celebrating it because to us, that relationship—it was like you said, it was endgame. They were our favorite couple, so we were glad to see them working. But they got so much shit for that brunch date because there were paps and Harry’s management was, like, having none of it. Like they didn’t want Y/N in the picture when Olivia was in it.”

“That’s—Oh my God, that’s so fucking brutal.”

“Absolutely brutal. At that point, we all were sort of distancing ourselves from Harry. Everyone was trying to stay neutral, but we knew what was happening and it was just hurtful seeing what Y/N was going through,” they said, “So back to how Y/N loved interacting with the fans—they wanted her to stop that.”

“They wanted her to stop interacting with the fans?”

“Yeah, like to just cut it because it wasn’t good for Holivia but Y/N—she was like, no, you’re Harry’s management, you’re not mine.”

“Yes. Queen.”

“We were so proud of her!” Kyle exclaimed, “We were so proud,” they repeated.

“I feel like I’m proud of her and I don’t even personally know her.”

“Right? Right?” They laughed, “So yeah, she was just still interactive with fans over Twitter and like, Instagram comments and stuff.”

“She’s private on Instagram, right?”

“Yeah, she is,” they said, “But she’d always like some posts, comment on some stuff, stuff like that. She didn’t do it a lot, but it was still something she enjoyed—she still does it.”

“That’s so sweet.”

“I’m telling you, she’s—she’s just amazing.”

“So now, that’s when? Like was that nearing the breakup?”

“That was, like, months before their third anniversary,” Kyle answered, “So they celebrated their third year together and things were going fairly well—like, as good as it can get, at least. Until Harry’s show in Brixton, in May. The One Night Only show.”

“He had two, right?”

“Yeah, one in the UK, in Brixton, and the other in New York,” they answered, “They actually broke up on that day.”

“The one in Brixton?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t there for that one, but basically what happened was that—You know, Y/N was super supportive of Harry’s career. Like, she was his biggest fan and was literally the muse for all his love songs—like so many in Fine Line, and basically all of Harry’s House. Harry’s House is literally her album,” they said, “And I bet the next one as well but, anyway—so, she was there, of course. She was so excited to see him perform his new album, she basically was going on and on about how proud she was of him, how excited she was.”

“I’m so scared right now.”

“And then she was asked to stay backstage during the show.”

“Like—Like, not watch him from the crowd?”

“Yeah. His mom was there, his sister was there, so many of his friends—of our friends, everyone was going to stand there and actually watch him from the crowd but it was just Y/N that was told to stay back.”

“You have to be kidding.”

“I’m not. I wish,” they said, “But she was told to just, stay back and basically give her spot to Olivia,” Kyle said, “And Harry was—He was actually, like, okay with it.”

“No.”

“Yeah,” they confirmed, “You know, told her things like, it was just for a day, you’ll still get to see me, et cetera, et cetera, and she was just so broken at that point. So she stayed back, she watched him for like, some time, then she just left.”

“Like, left him?”

“She left the arena, yeah, and she called one of our friends and she was just—she was like, hysterically crying, like sobbing, and she was like, ‘I can’t do this anymore’. And nobody could blame her. So she just, like, went back, and packed her stuff. Then Harry caught her, like before she left, and she broke up with him.”

“For good?”

“Yeah, they never went back together after that,” they said, “And for the longest time, Y/N was devastated. It’s because—when you’re in a relationship, it’s like an investment. Like you invest with your time, with your energy, your efforts, your—your mental health, everything, and in a way, it felt like Y/N lost.”

“And what about Harry?”

“Look, Harry will never love anyone the way he loves Y/N, period,” they said, “He’s still not over her, he’s still not over their relationship, still not over what he’s done. He’s still, like, constantly beating himself up for it.”

“I can’t say I feel too bad, honestly.”

“It’s Karma in a way, I guess.”

“But how did he take it when Y/N got into a new relationship? Because Y/N and Joe Keery have been a hot topic ever since they got together.”

“God, he was absolutely crushed,” they said, “Joe is a great guy. He’s a great, great guy. He treats Y/N so well, puts her first, supports her, defends her. He’s—He’s basically the boyfriend Y/N truly deserves and Harry sees that.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t too far ago when he defended her on Instagram after Harry’s song about her got leaked.”

“Yeah, he’s just—he’s incredible.”

“Do you know when they met?”

“They met in 2021 if I remember correctly. They had a mutual friend, I think it was a creative director or something who worked on Stranger Things. And Joe had the biggest crush on her back then,” Kyle answered.

“Yeah, yeah, I remember he said that in an interview.”

“Yeah, and then they met again in, like, early 2022 as well, then after the breakup, like, I don’t know three months later, they went out for some coffee, then it was just—like really casual for a while even though Joe was smitten, but Y/N didn’t want to rush anything.”

“Can’t blame her.”

“Yeah, nobody can. So yeah, they took their time and everything.”

“But Harry’s not over her.”

“Harry’s not over her,” Kyle confirmed.

“God, that was heavy.”

It wasn’t long before Deux Moi and their guest moved to another celebrity gossip, making Joe pause before he stared at his phone for a few moments.

Everything was out in the open.

Between your sleeping state and Joe’s stressed one, was Harry who now seemed to get only bad news from his manager and friend, Jeff.

Going on social media was like a nightmare.

Not only was Harry getting cancelled, but so were Olivia and Jeff, while supportive messages, tweets, and edits were being sent your way.

“We owe Y/N an apology” was among the trends, sitting right on top of the 4 other relevant trending topics about you. After it came “#HarryStylesIsOver”, “Y/Noe”, “Holivia”, and “Thank you deuxmoi”.

The latter was a surprise to everyone, but never did anyone guess that a day would come where people would thank the celebrity gossip platform.

user

nobody believed me when I said y/n and harry were together and that he fucked her over. fuck harry, fuck olivia, fuck jeff, and fuck dwd.

user

Imagine your worst mistake being that you trusted the person you loved the most. #HarryStylesIsOver

user

WE OWE Y/N AN APOLOGY? NO! YOU owe her an apology because some of us still stuck by her side and knew that she wasn’t the evil guy in this. now yall wanna talk

user

idk who “kyle” is but thank you

user

I TOLD YOU HOLIVIA WAS FAKE!!! I TOLD YOU YNRRY WAS REAL!!!!

Countless of tweets, some angry, some sad, some supportive were being added by the second and Joe found himself growing nervous for when you woke up.

It was inevitable for you to wake up. A day of sleeping one was one you appreciated, and even more so after you freshened up and were ready for a day of doing absolutely nothing but chill with your boyfriend.

“Good morning,” you said, taking notice of Joe flinching on the couch, causing you to giggle, “Sorry.”

Joe forced a smile, standing up and meeting you halfway to press his lips to yours as he wrapped one arm around your waist, his other hand going into your hair to bring your head closer to his. Pulling back, you smiled, “Okay then,” you joked.

“Good sleep?”

You hummed, wrapping your arms around him in a hug as you closed your eyes in bliss, “So good.”

“You deserve it,” he said, kissing your head, “What do you want to have for breakfast?”

“I don’t know, anything,” you answered, “Some scrambled eggs sound nice.”

“And buttered toast?”

“And buttered toast.”

“Avocados?”

“God, I love you,” you shook your head with a smile, leaning to kiss him again, “Let me just grab my phone a-“

“Let’s not,” Joe quickly said.

Your eyebrows furrowed, a smile of confusion on your face.

“I just—I figured—We can just—We can disconnect for the day, how does that sound?” He asked, “Leave our phones, turn them off, just-just enjoy your break.”

You stayed quiet for a moment, tilting your head as you looked at him.

“You’re hiding something,” you said.

“No, I’m not.”

“Then why are your cheeks and ears all pink?” You raised an eyebrow, “What’s going on?”

“Is it too bad that I want us to be together without any distractions? Without any—”

“Joe.”

He pursed his lips, avoiding eye contact as he looked at the ceiling for a moment.

“What’s going on?” You asked again.

A sigh escaped his lips before he looked at you, “Someone—Someone you know just—” He paused.

You raised an eyebrow again, “Just what? Did someone die? Joe, oh my God, di—”

“No, no, nobody’s dead, baby. Everyone’s fine. Everyone’s okay,” he assured.

“Okay, then what is it?”

“Well, um,” he cleared his throat, “Uh, someone—you know,” he shrugged.

“I don’t.”

“How do they say this?” He muttered, scratching his chin, “Someone spilled the tea?”

“The tea?” You asked, “What tea?”

“Someone went on a podcast and they—they basically said every single thing about your past relationship. Your relationship with Harry.”

You stayed quiet, eyebrows going up, “Oh.”

“Oh,” Joe nodded.

“Everything?”

“From the moment you met,” he said quietly.

“Oh,” you repeated.

“Yeah,” he nodded unsurely, “I’m—I’m really sorry, baby. I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you said quietly, “It’s not your fault. It’s—It’s nobody’s fault,” you added, “Who did that?”

“It was a guy, I think? Went with the name Kyle, like a pseudonym, but I don’t know. They could’ve distorted the voice, could be anyone.”

You hummed.

Joe looked at you, trying to asses your state before asking, “How are we feeling?”

“I’m not so surprised, honestly,” you answered, “I’m just—I’m so done with this, you know? I don’t know. I think—I think I just don’t care anymore.”

He nodded, rubbing your back soothingly, “I get it,” he said, “Do you want to address it?” He asked, “You know, they’re—everyone’s sending you support, some cute shit.”

“No, I won’t. I won’t address it,” you answered before sighing, “You know what I want?”

“What?”

“That scrambled eggs, the buttered toast, and those fucking avocados.”

To you, the day went well, and you knew that a huge reason why was that you did actually decide to take Joe’s advice and not check your phone. Instead, you and Joe had cooked breakfast and lunch together, had watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and decided to order takeout for the night.

To Joe, his mind was restless.

In a way, he felt like he needed to do something. Sure, he posted about you, he liked standing up for you, and he absolutely loved being a total sap on main—publicly and openly loving you, but something didn’t feel right.

He was smiling all night, loving on you and laughing with you, but his mind was all over the place. It wasn’t until you were asleep in his arms that he did what he felt was right.

Opening Instagram, he never had thought that he’d be the one to type in “harry styles” in the search bar and tap on your ex’s profile, but that was what he did before he also tapped on “Message”.

Strange enough, Joe was calm as he typed in his text:

Hey, Harry. I was hoping we can meet up soon to talk.

And stranger enough, was that his text was seen no more than 2 minutes after he sent it.

5 minutes passed before Joe received a reply.

Hello. Sure. When and where?

Joe then replied:

I’m currently in New Mexico but I’ll be in LA on Tuesday. Would that work for you?

And as if Harry had no idea that Joe was with you as you worked on Oppenheimer, he replied back:

Yes, I’m staying in LA for the time being. Tuesday works well.

Joe replied:

Great. We can meet at 6pm at my house since it’s the most private.

Harry then replied:

Okay. Is this about the recent podcast?

Joe replied:

Yes and no.

Harry replied:

Does Y/N know about this?

Joe replied:

No, she doesn’t.

Harry replied:

Okay. Send me the location and I’ll see you then.

Harry would have been lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, because of course he was. As someone who got into the acting world, scenarios ran through his mind like the ones he was offered; Joe was going to beat him up, or he was going to blackmail him, or he was going to tell him that Harry was the best choice for you and that didn’t seem like the worst scenario, although a cliché.

Days seemed to fly, or so it seemed to both Harry and Joe. The meeting was one that was discreet with neither’s friends knowing about it, even as Harry rang the doorbell to yours and Joe’s home.

Opening the door, Joe offered a very small smile, only stepping aside to let Harry in, “Come in,” he said.

Harry’s stomach was in twists; clammy palms against the sides of his thighs, erratic heartbeat that would definitely need medical attention at some point because there was no way that was normal.

“Want anything to drink?” Joe asked.

“Um, no, thank you,” Harry answered, sitting when Joe motioned towards the teal-colored couch—your favorite color on couches, although you wished you could have a cream-colored one but those seemed to be too much work, Harry remembered.

Joe sat on the chair opposite to it, a space between the two men that seemed occupied by tension and lingering awkwardness.

“Look,” Joe began, voice steady and calm, “I know this is weird. Like, really weird,” he said, “But I felt like it needed to happen.”

Harry pursed his lips, hands linked together as he looked at your boyfriend.

“I think we needed to talk, a long time ago. With how messy your relationship with Y/N was, and—and all the mess that’s been happening after it came to an end, I think I needed to talk to you,” Joe said, “Because it’s reaching a point where Y/N can’t catch her breath before something just, crashes down on her.”

Harry nodded.

“Look, I know I’m not your favorite person on earth,” Joe said, “And—No offense, you’re not mine either and I think that’s normal,” he put his hand out, “You’re her ex, I’m her boyfriend, and the situation isn’t ideal. It never really is. But I do respect you because you’re—you’re someone Y/N really appreciated at some point, and regardless of what happened, I know she still respects you and still cares about you because she’s just that kind of person.”

Harry, again, nodded.

“But I do know that with your status—with your place in the industry, you can put an end to all that,” he said, “It’s definitely hard getting over Y/N. I can’t imagine what you’re going through and I—To be honest with you, I don’t want to. I don’t want to be in your place, it’s not something I wish upon anyone, even you,” Joe said, “But I’m going to need you to just—to stop getting into her life like that. It’s not good for her, it’s not good for you, even, it’s not good for anyone.”

“How am I getting into her life?” For the first time, Harry spoke.

Joe sighed, “I know you still like her pictures on Instagram, you still—you’re not a stupid guy, Harry, you know exactly what I mean,” he said, “And like I said, I know that with your status, you can keep things on the down low. Give her some peace.”

“You know I wasn’t the person who said all these things on the podcast, right?”

“I’m not saying you are.”

“You’re—I think—I think you’re implying that I had something to do with it.”

“I never did,” Joe said, “But I do know that your management wants your name to be everywhere.”

“So, you are implying it,” Harry chuckled quietly.

“Look,” Joe took a breath, leaning forward a little, “I believe everything Y/N says, and I believed her when she told me that you aren’t your management. Your principles don’t align. I don’t know why you don’t take matters into your own hands. I don’t know whether it’s because you’re unsure, you’re scared, nervous, I don’t know, man, but what I’m saying is that you need to sit down with your management and actually set thing straight. Not for you, but for Y/N,” he said, “I get that they always say bad publicity is still publicity but we all know that’s bullshit.”

Harry stayed quiet.

“I don’t think you’re the worst person,” Joe said, “I think you do some stupid shit but I know you love Y/N and—and I can’t blame you for it and I can’t even ask you to just stop and move on, because having Y/N is one of the best goddamn gifts anyone can have.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Harry mumbled with a quiet chuckle.

“So all I’m asking is for you to talk with your management and do Y/N a favor.”

“Do her a favor or do you a favor?” Harry found himself asking, “Because I think—I think It seems like you’re trying to save your relationship.”

“There’s nothing for me to save it from,” Joe instantly said, “It doesn’t need to be saved. I’m confident in my relationship with Y/N.”

And that seemed to shut Harry up.

“What you and her had—that was real. It was great, until it wasn’t. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not gloating but I didn’t meddle in and ruin what you have. I waited and I kept my distance and things fell into place and it’s not my fault your relationship went to shit, man,” he said, “I’m trying to be nice. To be respectful, and I’m asking nicely.”

Harry stayed quiet for a moment before sucking in a breath, “Okay.”

Joe nodded slowly, “Alright.”

“Did you tell her? About this?” Harry motioned between them.

“No, I didn’t,” Joe answered, “And I won’t tell her.”

“She doesn’t really like secrets,” Harry said with a chuckle, joking.

“It’s only so that she doesn’t feel like I had to tell you to be a decent person,” Joe shot back.

Harry’s eyebrows went up, “Wow,” he nodded, “Thanks for that,” he sarcastically said.

Joe nodded, “No problem.”

“Well,” Harry let out a breath, “I’ll do what I have to do,” he said, “But um—Thank you, for being respectful.”

“Like I said, she respects you, so will I.”

[leasstories]

Lea’s advent calendar day 25 - A “fake” date

@writerthreads writing prompt for Christmas (2022), prompt 18 :

[fake dating for a Christmas party/ball]

Eddie x fem!reader

No trigger warning

WC: ≈ 0.8K

December 18th, 1987

Your university decided to organize a Christmas ball during the first week-end of the holidays, one problem: all of your friends have a date except you, so the first person who comes to your mind to have a fake boyfriend is your childhood best friend Eddie.

Eddie is currently still living in Hawkins and works as a bartender at the Hideout. You really hope Eddie doesn’t wrk tomorrow because you don’t feel like you’ll be capable of going to this ball alone. You’ve already have had a hard time adapting to the life of a university student and didn’t really made friends, so you really have no one to go the ball with.

You take a deep breathe before dialing Eddie’s phone number, Eddie answers right away.

“Sweetheart!” Eddie exclaims

“Hi Eds” you tell him nervously.

“How is life at university?” He asks.

“It’s good” you lie. “About that… I have a request, if you’re free tomorrow of course” You tell him, anxiously fiddling with the phone’s cords.

“Anything Sweetheart” Eddie answers.

“Would you accept to be my fake date at the university’s Christmas ball?” You ask nervously fidgeting even more with the phone’s cord.

Eddie takes a deep breathe. “You know I hate those kind of crap”

“I know” you say already disappointed.

“But if I’m your only solution, I can make an effort for you” Eddie continues.

“Oh my god! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” You tell Eddie excited.

“You’re welcome Sweetheart” Eddie says, chuckling at your excitement.

As soon as you hung up with Eddie, you rushed to the closest store and bought a long red dress, yo bought, according to you, the prettiest one within your budget.

The next day, you wake up all nervous and excited at the same time, and I can assure you it’s not a good combination. Thank god you do not have a roommate because you woke up super early and you’ve been so excited that you can’t help but be active. Once you know the hairdresser from the corner is open you rush downstairs and go spend some of your spare money on. More elaborated hair style. Even if you pretend not caring about what people think of you, it isn’t true, besides you also want to impress Eddie.

After your trip to the hairdresser, you spend hours trying different make up combinations until you finally found the one. You finish at 4pm and put on your dress. Eddie is supposed to arrive at 5:30 pm and the ball starts at 6:30 pm. You’re so nervous.

You hate this fake dating thing with Eddie. Not because of people’s opinion, no. But because you have had a crush on him since the two of you hit puberty. But apparently this crush is unrequited and Eddie considers you like your best friend and that’s all. You would rather have him as a best friend than lose him altogether so you’ve been keeping quiet about it for years now.

But deep down, you hope that maybe, seeing you all pretty will make him realize that you are indeed attractive. You jump from your bed when you hear a knock at your bedroom door. You rushes to open it, and there, stands Eddie Munson, in a suit!

“Hello handsome” you say smiling.

“Hello beautiful” Eddie answers.

“Come on in” you say, once Eddie came into the room, you close the door.

“Okay so do we have a backstory?” Eddie asks.

You shrug. “High School Sweethearts?” You say but it sounds more like a question.

“Yeah cool. Best friends who started dating?” Eddie asks.

“Yep” you say, popping the “p”.

A little while later, Eddie and you go to the room in which the ball takes place, when you and Eddie enter the room, all eyes are on you and your boyfriend for the night.

Every time someone goes talking to you and Eddie (well they are mostly talking to Eddie), you have to pretend you’re a stupidly happy couple. It hurts to know that all of this is just pretending, that Eddie isn’t *really* in lobe with you.

It’s time for the slow dance. You wrap your hands around Eddie’s neck and he wrap his around your hips. You slow dance like this for four songs and at the beginning of the fifth, Eddie leans closer to you. You know what is going to happen and you don’t even care if its just pretending, yo want to know how Eddie’s plush lips will feel against yours. Eddie kisses you breathless and when you part, he admits.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

“Me too…” you confess.

“We’re so stupid” Eddie says chuckling before kissing you again.

What started as fake dating blossomed into really dating.

[houseofbrat]

Well, well, well...

The day after Amber Heard settled the appeal case against her, Lainey posted the following paragraph in her end of the day links.

The first link is to the Pajiba article on AH’s bullshit. 

The second link is to a tweet by Christopher Bouzy of Bot Sentinel, a tweet from 20 May 2022.

Bouzy must be referring to his interview in Harry & Meghan as one of the “documentaries.”

How much does Lainey get paid to link to this bullshit? She pulled out a tweet from more than six months ago on this. 

It’s really rich that Lainey of all people is supporting Amber Heard given that she had a blind item about Johnny Depp avoiding Amber Heard back in 2015. (I’m not going to link to Lainey’s site, I’m going to link to the random ass blog that cataloged her shit instead.)

WHY HE’S SLEEPING ON THE COUCH

Before it happened, his friends were begging him not to do it. Begging him not to make it permanent. But he was in too deep, and a little wounded too after his most recent professional setback. So it happened. Despite all the warnings, he went ahead and made it official. But the happily ever after wore off really quickly. It wore off a long time ago. Which is why while he’s working, he’s also hiding. Of course he could stay in luxe accommodations all to himself. Instead of sleeping in a hotel suite that they most certainly have the budget for though, he’s on his buddy’s couch. His best buddy. The one you’d think would approve of his relationship. But even his best friend thinks his girl is crazy. And understands why he’s decided to hide out, where it’s not so easy for her to find him. Which, apparently, happens all the time. She’s obsessive about calling around, looking for him, haranguing anyone she can to ask where he is, what he’s doing, why he hasn’t texted her back. Two sources confirmed to me that she’s been delayed on set a few times because she’s been shouting down the phone at someone in her trailer, demanding they track him down for her. And so, at a time when they’re supposed to be celebrating, he’s far away, enjoying his freedom for a few weeks. Is this what it’s going to be for a lifetime?

March 2, 2015 at 9:16 AM

But, sure, Lainey, go ahead and pretend as if you didn’t hear and write about Amber’s terrible behavior before the divorce. Please continue gaslighting your audience about you being an independent writer, when you’re really a pr shill now. 

[blackstarlight17]

Please Help Me Regain Financial Stability

Hello, my name is Caitlin. On August 10th, 2020, my mom passed away from complications of a heart attack she had a week prior. Since then, I have been working hard to stay afloat and desperately trying to handle all of the expenses I’ve now had to take on. My mom had been the one in charge of all of the major finances such as the utilities, the mortgage, insurance, etc. while I would be in charge of the lesser ones such as groceries, vet care for our cats, and my phone. She didn’t want me to worry about the larger bills until I found a steady job and got to save some money to act as a cushion in case of an emergency.

Shortly after her passing, I received help from some family while I looked for and thankfully, found a job. My half-brother and his wife helped me sort through and sell some of my belongings to get some extra money and on the off chance I had to move. They even offered to help with the utilities until I saved enough to move. However, I’ve since come to realize that the help they offered wasn’t meant to help me as much as it should have. Not only had they shot down every suggestion or request I made for their help finding an apartment or trying and keep my parents’ home, but they insisted I move back to Connecticut so I would be closer to them. Their excuse was to help me, but with rather strict stipulations that I’ve since recognized as rather serious red flags. They had wanted me to surrender my cats, apply for jobs of their choosing, return to school and take classes of their choosing, and if I didn’t live with them, they would pick my roommates instead of letting me choose my own. Were I still a minor, that might have made more sense but I’m not and they were treating me as if I was, giving me no voice.

They insisted I couldn’t keep my mom’s car, that it was pointless, only to learn too late that I could have kept it had I gone to the DMV with the title and my mom’s death certificate and paid a small fee. On top of that, in late 2022, my utilities started getting shut off without any warning and discovered my half-brother stopped paying for them and never notified me that he was stopping payments. I’ve since been scrambling to try and keep up before they sprung out of control. Had I been more like my mom and not be so reliant on my half-brother, thinking he had my best interest in mind, I wouldn’t be in debt with a car I can’t pay for now. I might not be as far behind with my utilities if I had found out they weren’t being paid sooner as well as gotten financial assistance much sooner. I may not even be as far behind on my parents’ mortgage if I hadn’t listened to my half-brother telling me it was pointless and to give up. That includes making a GoFundMe sooner, but my half-brother shot it down and essentially was forbidding me from making one. But I wasn’t, and I’m trying to rectify my mistakes, receiving help where I need it, and getting the information I should have been told from the start.

Between my mom’s passing and now, I’ve gone through several jobs. A lot of it was related to my car breaking down consistently, making it difficult to hold them. I’ve started a new job that I’m able to walk to, hoping to try and budget in to try and catch up and pay off my car so I don’t have it repossessed. I only have a little over $1200 left on it. I’m hoping to either pay my car off so I can get the title and sell my car for what I can, putting that money on top of what I earn so I could get a car that runs so I have an easier means getting to and from work as well as traveling to stores instead of relying on deliveries. It is that, or I find a place where I can trade my car in for a used car, but I don’t know if I’ll get approved or not for a new loan with the trade-in.

I’ve signed up for financial assistance, waiting back for a response about whether I’ve been approved or not. I applied for unemployment before getting hired but I kept getting rejected because I didn’t have any transportation to take me to these workshop events that the unemployment office made mandatory to attend. I’ve been approved for health insurance and recently been approved for EBT. I’m hoping if I get approved for financial assistance, it will help me with my electricity and gas so I don’t have them shut off and can keep up with the payments more easily. For my water bill, I can’t get assistance until I get more information from probate regarding the house.

I know that I’m asking for a lot, but anything given would help a great deal. Even with my job, it’s only seasonal and I don’t know how soon I’ll be able to get another before it’s over. And the income I’ll be getting won’t be able to cover all of my utilities or my car, let alone make a dent towards the mortgage or save for a rental. This includes non-food items such as feminine products, cat litter, cat food, and laundry being a few.

Should you donate, it will not only help with getting me caught up better with my bills, but I’ll be able to pay off my car and if I’m lucky, replace it. I’m asking every one of you for help. Not just for myself, but for my cats as well. They are my family and I want to do what I can to keep us together. They were also my mom’s cats as much as mine, giving me greater reason to try and keep them with me.

Thank you for taking the time to read. Again, should you decide to donate, the money will be going towards my bills and my car. If you can, please share this with friends and family who you think could help.

Link: https://gofund.me/fe83b725

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday.

37% of the web is porn.

Sex burns 360 calories per hour.

Baths kill more people than terrorists.

Earth has lost 50% of its wildlife in the past 40 years.

The big bang was quieter than a Motorhead concert.

Men are biologically hardwired to fall asleep after sex.

100,000 Japanese people disappear without trace every year.

The brain naturally craves four things: food, sex, water and sleep.

A blue whale can swallow half a million calories in a single mouthful.

The literal meaning of “Once in a blue moon” is once every 2.7 years.

The number of emails is expected to reach 376 billion daily by 2025.

In North Korea, the sentence for getting caught watching porn is death.

Being alone weakens your body. Having friends strengthens your body.

British people inserting things up their bums costs the NHS £350,000 a year.

The Peter Principle holds that people are always promoted beyond their ability.

Studies show that the average man exaggerates the length of his penis by 20%.

In 1997, Bill Gates invested $150 million in Apple to save it from going bankrupt.

According to a 2014 study, shorter men report that they have more sex. (No comment.)

On average people are 2 inches shorter and 20% poorer than they claim to be online.

Friendship has more influence on longevity than exercise, diet, heart problems and smoking.

In 1973, China had an excess of females and offered the U.S. 10 million Chinese women.

In 2011, a lorry crashed on the M1 spilling enough Marmite to cover 24 million slices of toast.

Eminem wrote and recorded ‘The Real Slim Shady’ three hours before his album was due.

To test what happens when someone sits on their phone, Samsung has a robot shaped like a bottom.

India used to be the richest country in the world until the British invasion in the early 17th Century.

In 2006, Liechtenstein accidentally found 0.3% more of their country when they remeasured their borders.

The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.

A study has found that friends-with-benefits relationships are just as sexually satisfying as marital relationships.

Marrying your best friend eliminates the risk of divorce by over 70%. These marriages are more likely to last a lifetime.

According to new research, your cat will happily take treats from your enemies. Your dog, however, will not.

At the 1968 Olympics, Bob Beamon broke the long jump record by so much they had to find another tape measure.

Emotional pain lasts for 10 to 20 minutes, anything longer is actually self-inflicted by over thinking, making things worse.

In 1900, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle caught fire during a cricket match at Lord's. The ball hit a box of matches in his pocket.

You may gain 20% more muscle strength by working out in the afternoon instead of the morning, according to a study.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), an estimated 619,000 people die each year due to heat stroke.

‘The Shawshank Redemption’ has been rated the best movie of all time according to IMDb, with a rating of 9.2/10.

There are 67.1 million tracks sitting on music streaming services that, in the 2022 calendar year, attracted 10 or fewer streams.

Alfred Hitchcock, the master of suspense, who terrified audiences with movies like ‘Psycho’ and ‘The Birds’ was frightened of eggs.

The most expensive movie ever made is ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides’ (2011) with a budget of $378.5 million.

When pirate Jean Lafitte (c. 1780 – c. 1823) saw that the governor of Louisiana had offered $500 for his successful capture, Lafitte put up flyers offering $1500 for the capture of the governor.

A ‘binfluencer’ is a person on a street who takes the lead in putting out the correct waste and recycling bins on the correct day, thus prompting neighbours to follow suit. (My next door neighbour is one!)

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[unhinged-summer-fun]

the intersection of all my pieces

Danktober 2022 Day 26: Petplay, Ego, Howl at the Moon Night

Puppy!Marcus Pike x GN!Reader (22+ only)

Summary: Marcus muses on the components of his psyche. Why does he like what he likes?

Word Count: 3341

Warnings: Pet play, primal play (kinda), nudity, introspection which leads to emotional angst and hurt/comfort, psychological analysis.

Notes: the id, ego, and superego are terms used popularly in Freudian psychoanalytic theory. The id refers to your instincts, your most primal self. The superego refers to your morality and character, specifically when interacting with others. The ego is the combination of both, and controls how you see and experience your reality.

[full danktober list here]

[puppy marcus pike list here]

"Let me tell you, Pike, I'm kinda known for being the alpha dog wherever I go, I'll make sure you won't get picked on, pretty face like you."

Marcus immediately hated the man. Part of him wanted to flex the petty knowledge in his mind, that the "alpha wolf" theory was disproved over two decades ago and the scientist who'd fabricated the study had very quickly resigned in shame. He wanted to explain the true loyalties of a dog, the realities of pack behavior, what was done to the cruel and violent in most animal groups, and how they didn't exactly fit in a professional office environment full of fleshy, emotional humans. He wanted to say all of this, but the man just kept talking.

The new guy, Special Agent Benson, reeked of the kind of attitude Marcus never willingly stayed in the same breathing space as for long: self-serving, stereotyping, discriminatory, probably inflated with grandeur and pure id, though this buffoon would have probably just credited his ego as the feather in his hat.

Perhaps Supervisory Special Agent Marcus Pike was being a bit unfair, though.. He shouldn't have expected men like this to have offhand knowledge of Freudian psychology, besides being an exhibit-A motherfucker.

It was a strange but disappointing set of circumstances that had brought Benson to the International Art Crimes team. Some difficult-to-follow file filled with prior disciplinary measures from the Terrorist Screening Division and an itemized, dated, and collated collection of infraction records sent by the Office of Personnel Security sat on Marcus' desk just beneath his interlaced fingers, though he didn't really need to read it to understand that Marcus' division had been chosen as the last resort for this man's FBI career. Those same fingers were tightened into an uncomfortable grip, white-knuckled and both holding back the remarks Marcus was waiting to spit.

The situation annoyed him, but he was familiar with the steps he needed to take to dance around it. He knew that art just wasn't important to men like this. It required compassion and thought and the acceptance of devastation when following a lead to nothing but the shattered remains of centuries-old indigenous material history. Things had been getting better in the last few months, though. Activity had been picking up here and there, and they'd been granted almost twice the budget as last year, which allowed them to pursue the cases of items that had been collecting dust in the National Stolen Art File. The bottom line was this: he had cases to investigate and prosecute, millions of dollars worth of art in the basement gallery to trace provenance on and return, a team of 60 agents and bureau liaisons with the Smithsonian, and three oddly charming (or was it charmingly odd?) interns to oversee. He didn't need Agent Benson trying to herd him like a sheep dog in his own territory.

But that was a line of thinking best left at home, in the lockbox holding all the costume pieces and toys he liked best.

Almost as if you were thinking of him, his phone buzzed with a message, and he set it down on his face for now. Not even your contact photo had to see the dressing-down he was about to give Benson.

Your waiting message made the rest of the painfully awkward transfer interview a little more bearable. By the time the officially-demoted Agent Benson left Marcus' office with his tail between his legs and his head held a little less high than before, Marcus felt his authority weigh heavy across his shoulders like a yoke. Benson wouldn't be a problem, he thought to himself. If he proved otherwise, I'll make sure he doesn't have another second-chance. The thought chilled him. It was cutthroat decisions like these that drove some SSAs to keep booze in their desks, but Marcus' vices stayed at home and were only given by your hands.

Right, the message.

He shut the door and sat for a moment in the blessed silence he normally took for granted in his office, but his curiosity got the better of him, and he tapped open your message. It took a while to scroll through the wall of text and photos and links and travel information, but Marcus really preferred getting all the necessary information at once while he was at work. The odd and charming interns (he'd decided that they were both) tended to message him one - word - at - a - time, and often not getting to the point for several rounds of back-and-forth.

That was a bit of a lie, implying he didn't like clipped orders and a need-to-know attitude. He just preferred them when he wasn't wearing a tie and shirt stays.

You'd sent him information about a proposed evening camping in the woods, about an hours' drive east and another hours' hike up a mountain with a Class-1.5 Bortle Scale rating. You'd been getting very into dark-sky sites since you first heard of them during a date to the planetarium, and what with the full moon being tonight, and your close-up selfie of you making pleading puppy-dog eyes, Marcus could only smile to himself and reply with an affirmative.

The consistent staccato buzz in his pocket kept him company the rest of the workday, reminders of your excitement sitting against his hip. He tried not to think about what awaited him out in the wild, but it gave him something to look forward to for the next few hours.

He had one last meeting in the office, a conference call with some analysts out in Quantico. When he got on the call, the stoic faces that greeted him pulled a forced smile from his mouth. These analysts sometimes gave him the heeby-jeebies, speaking about their accomplishments in ways that completely separated their involvement from the effort. He used to feel that way in the Academy, and before then in college. There was mindfulness, and then there was whatever the hell this kind of self-critical affect was.

In response, he found himself playing up the happy-go-lucky Marcus Pike that he tended to have a reputation for in the Bureau. It didn't look like his plan was working too well, but when he made one of the analysts crack a smile and admit that they spent a lot of time working on their data compilation program, he took it as a small victory.

The polar opposites of those two strange interactions, Benson and the Quantico analysts, left Marcus in a contemplative mood. His therapist suggested to him that keeping track of his thoughts would help to better notice patterns of behavior that could be influential over time, and that scared him. He'd taken it as, did you know you and your brain are the only two things responsible for your sadness, control issues, impulsive decision-making, and the fact you don't know that is making those things worse? He'd suspected for a long while that his problems were his own doing, but what felt even worse was the acknowledgment to accept the fact, and rationalize the clueless disaster he'd been before, traipsing around Austin with a woman who screamed 'unavailable.'

He remained trapped in this melancholic holding pattern when he arrived at the apartment, pulling into his usual space and catching a glimpse of you packing up the hatchback. Months and months ago, after you'd both moved into this apartment together, free of any notions of attachment or territory, he would have still worried at the motion of you packing up alone while he was gone, assuming the worst. Now, he just greeted you by name and walked closer. "Need some help? I hope you didn't do all this by yourself."

You gave him a look that said I'm more than capable of opening doors, crossing streets, and opening the pickle jar by myself, Marcus, but broke into a smile that had his darker thoughts running for the hills. "There's just your things, figured you'd want to take them down yourself anyway."

The darker glint in your eyes, the promise of play later on, twisted pleasantly in Marcus' gut, and he felt his mouth water on instinct. The reminder of the camping gear only added to the fantasy. Call him cliché for saying it, but he loved playing outside when he was in his puppy-space. His heart raced excitedly at the thought of sinking down into that bliss beneath the stars, under the light of a full moon. By the smirk forming on the corners of your mouth, you knew this too, and had most likely factored all of that into planning this.

God, you must have planned this for weeks. He used to be saddened by your keeping of plans from him, used to let it curdle into insecure panic, but you knew Marcus loved surprises and often spoiled them for himself by accident. It's almost like you want to ruin surprises for yourself, Marcus' superego whispered. The words had disappeared like letters written in sand whenever your hand rested on the back of his neck. The effect was instantaneous, his eyes snapping to look at your mouth and his thoughts stilling, ready and awaiting orders.

"Go upstairs and shower. Change into what I set out for you and check over your box. If there's anything you want to bring with us, pick it out. Other than that, when you come back, we're hitting the road."

Marcus dashed up the steps like a man possessed, too restless and full of energy to wait for an elevator, to remember what an elevator was. His shower was messy, water flying all over and his hair left in a wet mop on his head that would dry in the car. The clothes you'd set out were just normal outdoorsy clothes, but you knew how much Marcus liked to run around in those shorts, that those shoes would let him feel the forest floor beneath his feet, the shirt could be replaced if it got too dirty or grimy. Make a mess, his mind urged, the id pressuring him to feel that primal connection to himself that he denied so staunchly during the day.

He hardly had to look into the box to know you'd chosen all his favorite toys and treats for the trip. The puppy-box was normally kept locked up and on the opposite end of the apartment from his gun safe. The two of you hardly ever took it out of the house except on extended vacations or work trips.

So this was exciting.

He locked the door after trying to get the key in for twenty seconds, his hands shaking with excitement. As soon as the bolt slid home, he was off to the races once more, a bright smile on his face that never left when he was around you. You were behind the wheel and picking out music when he came down, carefully placing his box in the footwell of the second row before taking the passenger seat.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

His past relationships never seemed to understand Marcus' need to drive. Marcus was able to stay fully-focused and on-task when he was behind the wheel. It stemmed from a sense of duty to ensure the safety of himself, his loved ones, and the others out on the road with him. Whenever he sat in the passenger seat, things were much, much different.

He knew the route to the highway out of D.C. fairly well, but there was a detour you had to take. Just before the on-ramp, he saw why: there was a farmers' market set up in one of the cross-streets. Marcus gasped when he saw all the bright colors of the tents and tarps, felt the vibrations that came from the faraway live music, and so many people enjoying themselves in the sunshine. "Look at that…" he whispered in awe.

He could never control his reactions to things that caught his eye whenever he sat in the passenger seat. Everything, every single thing, was just as (and more!) exciting than the last. You didn't chide him for the reasons he'd been scolded for before:

"You could have scared me off the road!"

"Could you stop talking for just five minutes? It's a three hour drive."

"Roll the window up, you're not an animal."

"Why don't you want to talk to me? You just keep pointing out the scenery."

Instead, you encouraged that playful, carefree behavior. It didn't hurt you, and it only made him happy.

"Hopefully it'll still be there when we come back tomorrow," you said, slowly driving forward away from the market. "You wanna check it out if it is?"

"Yes of course, remember the peaches we got at the farmer's market last August?"

"You have literally brought up those peaches whenever you can, almost as much as I have." He didn't have to see you to know you were smiling, he didn't have to wonder if you meant it. He was never unsure that you loved all his quirks and needs and preferences, because you promised to share that same trust with him.

The campgrounds were at the base of the mountain, with your reserved space sitting four miles up the trail. He waved to some of the groundskeepers talking to one another at the gatehouse, who then waved back, amused by his outgoing friendliness. Not a lot of people who come from the city tend to be as friendly when their cell service sputters out, he assumed they were thinking.

Marcus ended up carrying a greater amount of the supplies than you for the trek. He relished the burn in his calves and thighs, because it sated the frenetic thoughts buzzing around his skull from the strange day. You'd ask about it after catching your breath at the campsite.

He used to be highly regimented at the gym, needing to burn a specific amount of calories in a day just to feel like he could control his strangeness. He was still definitely in shape, but now he had a healthier, happier outlet that he could share with someone he loved.

The sun still shone brightly in the afternoon sky when you reached the trail that branched into the woods, leading to your designated campsite. It helped as you set up the tent and cooking area while he gathered firewood and cleared the ground of any pesky rocks or sticks. The forest was lively and green, a gentle breeze brushing against the top canopy that had him sighing in satisfaction. He loved art for the same reasons he loved everything: there was something for everyone, and he hoped everyone found that someday.

Looking back at you, he knew he did.

"Hey, let's talk about the plan for tonight."

"Alright."

"What's worrying you right now?"

"This has an AirTag in it, do not take it off." Your instructions were firm, quieting his mind and removing the weight of his worries as he sat at your feet, nearly naked. He looked like a piece of art in the half-moonlight, the other half of him lit by the small campfire that would keep you company tonight. The collar slipped around his neck, heavy and well-made. He preferred the distributed, heavy weight, for it served as a reminder that he didn't carry anything else with him in this headspace. "Do you understand?"

"I understand."

"Good," you said, kissing his head before securing his little ears to the messy tresses atop his head. You used a truly obscene amount of bobby pins and clips, but had chosen a pair Marcus wasn't particularly attached to. You knew that Marcus could get a little rougher in his playtime outside, and things might get lost in the underbrush. He gave a short shake of his head to test their hold.

You attached a belt bag around his torso that held a short-wave radio in case he needed to call you, a protein bar, a water bottle, his phone, and a small first-aid kit. "There have been no dangerous animal sightings out in the woods all week, they think there may have been a fallen tree or something that blocked whatever natural bridge they normally use to get around the mountain. It'll just be you and the birds out there, probably." You knew he didn't need all this information while he was in a simplified headspace, but you wanted him to at least know subconsciously that there were no monsters lurking in the woods with him. The trail awaited, and you stepped away from his path.

"Thank you," he said suddenly, voice thick with emotion that had bubbled up in seconds. His temperament was little to none in his puppy-space, so he felt everything, all the time, and it was okay. "Thank you."

You looked nothing but happy for him as you kissed him softly. You followed it up with a short tug on the O-ring on his collar, pulling a wanton groan from his mouth. His eyes went a little hazy before refocusing at the sound of the clicker in your hand.

"When the radio says come back, take out your phone and follow the beacon back immediately. Immediately."

"Immediately."

"Immediately, Marcus."

"I promise."

"I know you do. Here's your flashlight. Go have fun, pup."

Marcus stopped sprinting through the trees when he felt his thoughts go from the familiar happy, instinctual assessment of his surroundings to somber recollections of the day. He shook his head hard and grounded himself back in the moment, back in the scene he had with himself.

No reason to bring that in here with me. No beasts but I.

His eyes caught on a moonbeam breaking through the treetops, pointing toward a rock ledge that held the vantage for a perfect view over most of the mountain. He climbed up it, letting his interests pull him back from whatever was pulling him away.

The moon was high, full and bright and almost tinted crystal blue, it was so clear. A part of him thought about how happy he was for you, happy that the night had come in dressed to the nines just for you. There wasn't a cloud above him, despite the cool air. Something about the moon's appearance had him falling to his knees and leaning back on his heels just to look up at it in awe. It was a good time for a rest, anyway.

Maybe his life wasn't meant for arguing the sins and virtues of actively choosing joy for oneself. Maybe he was allowed to see where to choose to be more compassionate and mindful, and not let expectations dictate his character. Maybe Marcus was avoiding the mental homework surrounding his thought patterns because the answer seemed too simple to be true: he'd accepted that he was finally, perfectly fine.

A sob broke out from his chest, loud and raw. His lunar audience watched dutifully as tears streamed down his face, his cries echoing and fading into the nature around him. He was alone but never lonely. He was fine company to keep. He would have never gained this kind of confidence had you not showed him that he was worth being proud of, and he would have never dreamed that he could find someone he trusted enough to choose joy around.

His cries grew into laughter, a signal of acceptance of his ridiculous happiness. The tears remained, wetting the fabric of his shirt, his pants, seeping in beneath the leather of his collar. Nothing but gratitude radiated from his soul, and it warmed him from his bones to his skin and beyond. The ache in his throat felt amazing, almost holy, and with a bubbling of pride and primal instinct, Marcus howled at the moon.

He didn't know how much time had passed, but his voice was gone by the time he heard the radio crackle to life, your voice coming down the line. "Time to come back, pup."

Marcus smiled, and returned back to where he belonged: by your side.

[glittergroovy]

Post Directory: Megan Thee Stallion

EP: Tina Snow (2018)

WTF I Want / Hot Girl / Good At / Freak Nasty / Cognac Queen / Neva / Big Ole Freak / Tina Montana / Make A Bag / Cocky AF

album: Fever (2019)

Realer / Hood Rat Shit / Pimpin / Cash Shit / W.A.B / Best You Ever Had / Simon Says / Shake That / Money Good / Dance / Ratchet / Sex Talk / Big Drank / Running Up Freestyle

EP: Suga (2020)

Ain't Equal / Savage / Captain Hook / Hit My Phone / B.I.T.C.H. / Rich / Stop Playing / Crying In The Car / What I Need

album: Good News (2020)

Shots Fired / Circles / Cry Baby / Do It On The Tip / Sugar Baby / Movie / Freaky Girls / Body / What's New / Work That / Intercourse / Go Crazy / Don't Rock Me To Sleep / Outside / Savage (Remix) / Girls In The Hood / Don't Stop

album: Something For Thee Hotties (2021)

Tuned In Freestyle / Megan Monday Freestyle / Trippy Skit / Southside Forever Freestyle / Outta Town Freestyle / Megan's Piano / Vickeelo And Dino Btw Skit / Eat It / All Of It / Warning / Kitty Kat / Tina Snow Interlude / God's Favorite / Let Me See It / Opposite Day / Freakend / Bae Goals / Pipe Up / Bless The Booth Freestyle / THOT SHIT / To Thee Hotties

album: Traumazine (2022)

NDA / Ungrateful / Not Nice / Budget / Her / Gift & A Curse / Ms. Nasty / Who Me / Red Wine / Scary / Anxiety / Flip Flop / Consistency / Star / Pressurelicious / Plan B / Southside Royalty Freestyle / Sweetest Pie

other:

HISS

[criminologykee]

Preparing for 2023...

2022 is coming to a close, and it’s around this time that I start thinking about my intentions for the year going forward; my goals, or things I want to see, experience, and achieve. A new year can feel like a lot of pressure - pressure to be perfect, to get everything right, to reinvent yourself, and to lead the best life you can, but I think it’s important not to hold such high expectations of the year ahead.

With that said, I want to share some ideas of things you can do before the end of 2022 to ensure you have a smooth journey into the new year, and hopefully start on a positive note. As they say, start as you mean to go on.

All of these things will hopefully be small, simple, and achievable actions to carry out over the next few days. So, let’s get into it…

Digital Cleanse Decluttering is one of my favourite things to do before the end of the year, because I love going into a New Year feeling like I have space for new things and new experiences.   For a digital declutter, you can delete unused apps, delete or reorganise your playlists, declutter your files on your laptop/computer, delete photos you don’t want anymore and organise your photos into folders, unsubscribe from mailing lists, and change any passwords you may need to change! I also like doing unfollow/unfriend sprees on my socials to make sure I’m connecting with the people I really care about, and I’m not still friends with or following people who make me feel bad!

Physical Declutter Like a digital declutter, this will just help you clear up some space for things in the New Year. Whether it’s your closet, your desk, your junk drawers, or even emptying your tote bag of receipts (just me?). Now’s the time to donate/recycle old clothes, clean out old/empty or expired makeup and cosmetic items, and get rid of the random wires you never need but have kept for years.

Clean Once you’ve decluttered, it’s time to clean! Clean your phone and laptop, change your bedsheets, dust your shelves - just get your space as clean as you can to really start fresh for the new year. This is also a great time to organise your belongings after you’ve decluttered. Make sure everything has a home and is as tidy as you can get it - you can always revisit things each month or quarter to free up some more space and keep your environment tidy. 

Get Organised Start adding important dates to your diary, calendar, google calendar, etc. so you don’t forget important dates or double book events! I personally have a physical diary and calendar, and a digital calendar which syncs to my laptop and phone so I can be sure I won’t miss anything. If you need to plan your budget, now’s the time to do that too. 

Goals and/or Intentions As 2022 comes to a close, it’s probably time to start setting some goals and intentions for the new year ahead. New Year Resolutions aren’t really for me, but instead I tend to set a few achievable goals and some good intentions. For example, in 2022, my goal was to do one fun thing a month - whether that was a concert, a comic con, a day trip, a holiday, or even small things like a cinema trip to a film I’ve been desperate to see - and I’m pretty sure I was successful, probably even more so than I had expected to be! Intentions are new to me, I’ve been setting daily intentions when I remember, but my intentions for 2023 are as simple as being kinder to myself, trying my best, and picking up some old hobbies away from my phone!   Write your intentions and goals down somewhere, or get creative and make a moodboard or vision board for the year. You could even write down the steps you need to take or changes you can make to achieve your goals and intentions to help you when you’re feeling demotivated or stuck.

Reflect on 2022 As much as we tend to look forward as one year comes to an end, I think it’s just as important to look back on the year we’ve just experienced and reflect on it. Think about the things you achieved, how you changed for better or maybe even for worse, things you needed more of, things you want less of, etc. All of these things will help you know exactly what you want to get out of 2023!

That’s pretty much everything I’m doing over the next few days! I’d love to know if there’s anything you’re doing to prepare yourself for the year ahead. 

Wishing you all the best for 2023! 

See you there Kee

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[bluegrowlmon]

I am about to be intensely negative about the film The Outwaters (2022), so if you like it, shield your eyes and look away.

(Both these movies have middling scores on IMBD by the way, which I find hilarious. Seem to be equally polarizing!)

Okay. That being said, I'm going to transcribe the messages I sent a friend about my feelings about The Outwaters (2022) and how it compares to Skinamarink (2022). Spoilers for both movies below.

puts on film critic hat

At their hearts, Skinamarink and The Outwaters invite a lot of comparisons: both came from nascent horror directors, had small budgets, told their stories using a nontraditional format, and are about their main characters dealing with a strange, unknown entity.

Where the difference comes in, and where I feel that The Outwaters fails, is in their executions.

Skinamarink is about two very young children, Kaylee and Kevin, who wake up one night to find their parents gone and that the doors and windows have also vanished. They try calling 911, but the phones don't work either.

they go about their lives. They eat cereal and milk and watch old VHS tapes, and every night, whatever entity is in their house becomes more and more apparent, moving objects, speaking to them, and eventually directly interacting with them.

Skinamarink does not work for every horror fan, and that's fine! it is very slow, has no soundtrack, and uses a lot of dread and ambient sound to create its tension. One of my friends watched it after me and was incredibly bored and unaffected by the whole thing, making me feel a bit silly in comparison.

BC I, on the other hand, was absolutely terrified and left about halfway through the movie theater showing.

Part of what affected me was just the core concept of the film. children being in danger messed me up more than i thought it would. the entity is never fully seen or known, but it behaves with internal logic, so its actions are predictable; it does whatever it has to to keep the kids in the house and 'play' with them, whether that means making the toilet disappear or telling the boy to stick a knife in his eye. which he does (offscreen).

despite the obscure storytelling method, the story itself is clear, and every scare and tension-building maneuver is used to tell this story and communicate the entity's intentions

It makes sense.

(btw - the part of the movie that messed me up hardest wasn't even a scare - it was the older sister, kaylee, who had to be like 6 or 7, trying her best to take care of her little brother, getting him food, and walking him to the bathroom. at one point they are going to sleep and Kevin says "l love you", and she responds, "i love you too." small moment, but incredibly effective at showing children trying to cling to each other and normalcy in a hellish situation)

((ok i lied, the part that messed me up hardest was kaylee without a face))

MEANWHILE, YOU HAVE OUTWATERS

where do i even start with this trainwreck

So the movie is about these 4 adults, 2 brothers, and 2 women who know them somehow, going out to the deserts of LA to make a music video

It's found footage btw

The movie is very slow to start with lots of buildup and sprinklings of character detail: one character learned an eerie lullaby from her deceased mother she sings for the video, and she's still torn up about the loss; one brother is estranged from his mother for reasons that the other brother doesn't know, things like that.

LITERALLy none of that is important. It doesn't influence the characters, how they react to the situation, or how they react to each other. You could start the movie when they get to the desert, skip the first 30 minutes and Nothing Changes

(I clearly Did Not Like the movie. If it turns out there were reasons for the buildup, awesome! I still think that the buildup was not well done enough to be apparent on a first viewing, meaning it loses points in my eyes)

The scares and inexplicable happenings can be scary - like the flashing light, the flesh worm thing, and the bloody guy in the desert - but the lack of internal cohesion stops it from ever being truly scary or impactful to me. There are weird worms that look like living intestines, the earth hums and makes weird shrieks into their microphones, there's time travel, donkeys that stare judgementally (, all this stuff, but it never builds to anything and conveys any real momentum. The 1 camera guy just stumbles from thing to thing.

The first serious scare is also the only one I liked (and notably it occurs before all the Weird Random BS starts happening)

The main camera guy is wandering through the desert at night away from the tent bc he heard a noise or something (side note: i would love even a tenth of the confidence of a white man in a horror movie)

he stumbles through the dark, and a blurry man covered in blood holding an axe runs up to him, and you hear a heavy impact. some blood falls. the camera guy makes a groaning kind of sound and stumbles back to the tent. He kneels by his brother, who has his back to him. 'my head is raining' the camera guy says. His brother doesn't move, or show he's heard, a microcosm of how he's acted the whole trip. 'my head is raining.' the camera guy says again. he touches his brother and gets blood on his shirt.

Most of the movie is camera guy, stumbling from strange happening to strange happening alone. I believe these kinds of horror stories work best when someone is trying to comprehend or interact with or escape the unknowable horror. if you experience it, and barely comprehend it, and don't really react to it, does it even count? then you're just like a dog in a movie theater. you experience huge awesome sensations about concetpts you barely comprehend but it just placidly slides off your brain.

the only attempt at some kind of though line is when camera guy stumbles upon a government 'stay out hazardous area' sign, implying some power knew this place was bad? but honestly that could have been for anything

So yeah, TL:DR, there's a very good reason people make skinamarink OCs and, as far as I know, no one has made an outwaters OC

Of course i could check tumblr or twitter and be proven wrong in an instant

takes off movie critic hat