micahdotgov · 10 months ago
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this was gay sex btw
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gchoate17 · 2 years ago
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In keeping with tradition, here’s my top ten list of the best events of 2022 and the worst events of 2022, vaguely ranked in the order that they most impacted my life.
Best
To celebrate my 40th birthday, I forced myself to think about what I wanted more than anything, which turned out to be spending time alone with the person I love the most, eating good food, and looking at art. We executed that plan to perfection in Kansas City, and it put so many things into perspective – most notably, it gave me a glimpse of what I want retirement to look like. It was the best three days I can remember. (January 7-9)
After reaching a lifetime record weight in June, I incrementally dropped 15 pounds by doing nothing more than mostly giving up alcohol. It’s nice to exhibit some self-control and see results. (July-December)
My biggest work event of the year is the annual meeting, which I emcee. I wasn’t happy with my performance in 2021, so I needed to come back and do better this year. I did. And I feel like everyone did, which made for our best presentation to date. (October 13)
We remodeled our bedroom closets and added a master bathroom to our house so that all four of us don’t have to share the tiny bathroom upstairs. (Summer)
Liz and I went to San Antonio for our anniversary and found more food and art, highlights included the ramen at Kimura, and the Color Room at Hopscotch. (April 1-3)
Gus started Kindergarten without missing a beat, which filled me with an immense pride for his independence and willingness to confidently take on what the world will inevitably throw at him. (August 22)
I don’t know how to properly label this as an event, but I can’t not acknowledge that we had another unbelievable spring/summer in the front yard/on the street with fantastic neighbors, and I cannot think of a better community in which to raise our children. (March-September)
Argenta Reading Series came back with a great event after a two-and-a-half year pandemic-induced hiatus. (September 17)
Liz and I spent three days in a house in New Orleans with my friend Stanis – whom I had not seen since 2015 – and his friends to celebrate his 40th birthday. (June 2-5)
I feel like I made progress in finding the voice I want to use for writing about my relationship with food – culminating with my well-received Arkansas Times article about the top 10 meals I ate in Arkansas this year (December 26).
Worst
Zill died. In the seven years that I knew him, death always seemed like a near possibility because of the many physical hurdles he faced, but losing him is still tough. I will miss his dry wit, the rare occasions when he discussed his boyhood in Oklahoma, and the reciprocal joy he and my sons brought to each other. They will have a hole in the space where their Papou lived. As will I. (December 31)
I fainted and hit my head, which left a scar I will see on my forehead for the rest of my life, always reminding me of how unexpectedly my health can plummet. (July 17)
Magnus had a crazy two-month-long (and counting!) sleep regression, which forced Liz and I to take shifts sleeping on the floor beside his crib. (November-December)
A never-ending list of professional and personal responsibilities brought on by my own desire to achieve more has given me a constant feeling of general overwhelmedness, which drifted occasionally into depression throughout the year.
For the second year in a row, I haven’t been able to prioritize writing new things, which means I haven’t been able to process my thoughts, feelings, and emotions well.
Too personal to discuss publicly.
Despite feeling creatively fulfilled professionally, I have not felt creatively fulfilled in my personal endeavors. The lowest point being when I finished the year with back-to-back poor public readings. (November 19/December 6)
At least one person at our house was sick at any given time for a solid two months. (November-December)
Too personal to discuss publicly.
I finally got COVID, then had to drive – bleary-eyed and sneezing – in a rental car, through a blizzard from Pagosa Springs, Colorado to Little Rock. When I returned the car, I couldn’t get anyone (friends/Uber/Lyft/Yellow Cab/a random dude to whom I offered $50) to pick me up and take me home, so after a two-day drive, I sat at the airport for over an hour, desperately trying to get home. So close, yet so far away situation. (February 1-2)
Previous Best/Worst Lists: 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021.
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sadclowncentral · 3 months ago
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i love when people get more loud and outgoing and happy to talk to strangers after having a drink or two it's fun to watch people come out of their shell however i am like that sober alcohol just makes me unable to mask my autism. which means partying with me is like this
friend: you were right man the people here are so cool i've made so many friend alrea- dude are you okay you are so quiet all of a sudden
me who has not blinked in 5 minutes: yes. can i please list aircraft designations in alphabetical order now
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wilteddreamsofbaldursgate · 2 months ago
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Springtime Caresses
IV. Dadstarion, but he's only just figuring that one out.
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Good things were happening to Astarion, at least on occasion. It had taken him years to accept that, to trust that his luck wasn’t about to run out at any given moment; to believe that he was worthy of whatever goodness came his way. And things were good, so very good—the Elven woman trancing in his arms was all the proof he needed, was she not? It was thanks to her magic woven into the protective canvas of their tent that he could feel the late morning sun warm his skin. It was her graceful body entangled with his that anchored him to a present worth living, having him excited for the future. It was her heartbeat echoing through his hollow bones that called him back from unwanted dreams, filling the refuge that was their worn tent with the only sound of life that truly mattered to him. It was his favourite melody in all the realms, one he could pick out in the densest of crowds; a tune he knew by his undead heart. And that was why he was still lying awake long past dawn today, holding his breath, listening. Wondering.
What was this faint, fluttering sound rippling through him where Tav’s bare chest pressed against his own?
For nearly half a century Tav’s heart had been singing for Astarion by now, and he took great pride and care in memorising each of her songs. Every piece in his collection was a personal favourite: the steady hum accompanying peaceful nights spent in each other's arms. The giddy pulsing of excitement whenever they were run out of town for a misdeed they might or might not have committed. The urgent pounding of her heart racing him through the throes of passion…But this strange off-tune beat disturbing his rest now, that one was odd—that one was new.
Astarion couldn’t say when he’d first noticed the unfamiliar sound. It might have been there all night, perhaps even longer; it mingled so subtly with his beloved’s heartbeat that it was easy enough to miss—especially when he’d been distracted by all those divine seductions Tav’s body offered him well into the early morning hours. She had tasted so intoxicatingly sweet with his fangs and cock buried deep inside her; the heels of her feet digging into the small of his back, greedily drawing him closer—deeper—as her blood rushed through him, and her legs and cunt had made the framework that was his entire world. It was ridiculously easy for him to lose himself in Tav. She was the one constant in his existence, the dance to which he could anticipate every next move. But now that his hunger for her was sated for the night, and Tav’s heartbeat had calmed into the gentle whisper of slumber, this novel symphony was deafening in Astarion’s sensitive ears. He wet his lips that still tasted of sweet, darling Tav.
Once, Astarion had been very good at ignoring things. It had been a skill long honed, perfected over centuries—how easily had he been able to just close his eyes, turn his back on the ignorant fools sleeping next to him? It had been such a well-rehearsed dance; him knowing what horrors were about to unfold, how irrevocably a life would change. But, night after night, it hadn’t been his life-changing, and so it had been of no consequence to him. Now, though, it was Tav he watched over as she tranced; whom he’d embraced for so many nights and yet not nearly enough. It was her soft, warm breath caressing his skin, making it impossible for him to unhear, let alone ignore, that ominous sound entrancing him. The moment Astarion had acknowledged the lingering change, it had settled in the thus far unoccupied space between him and his beloved. Already, Astarion could feel it deep in his bones—a shift in his world—and for the first time in many many years, he did not quite know what beat he was to dance to. And so the vampire spawn did what he was wont to do: He watched the even rise and fall of Tav’s bosom, filling his empty lungs with air. Slowly, he breathed in and out, tried and failed imitating that melody that was undeniably Tav and yet, somehow, more.
Very slowly it dawned on Astarion, then. How hadn’t it occurred to him before? It would be impossible for him to fall into that familiar, steady rhythm of Tav’s heartbeat this morning because where there had been one heart beating against his chest for all these years, there were now undeniably two.
Astarion’s useless breath caught in his throat. They’d known it was possible; it had been the probability of it all they’d doubted. And yet, here they were. The vampire spawn stared at the elf in his arms. There had been signs, Astarion realised as he reached for the small hand resting on his ribcage, grounding himself. Now that his world was shaking, he could see all the pieces fall into place. Didn’t Tav tire untypically fast lately, while her trances kept her from him well into the evening hours? And didn’t she smell different, too; taste even sweeter? She’d been changing right under his nose, had she not? He couldn’t even recall when he’d last indulged in her moonblood as he watched a well of memories flutter behind Tav’s eyelids. Her pink lips were slightly parted, brushing the gentlest of kisses against his skin as loose strands of her lustrous hair tickled his chin. She was glowing with life, and Astarion couldn’t help but wonder: did she know? Because, to him, it was suddenly clear as day that something had come alive between them—or rather half-alive, Astarion supposed.
Or half-dead, a mean little voice countered inside his head. 
Careful not to rouse his beloved from her trance, Astarion slowly untangled himself from Tav’s embrace, feeling at once cold at the absence of her touch. Kneeling next to her, Astarion gently placed Tav’s head on the pillow, brushed a stray lock from the face he could recognise blind. Crimson eyes wandered over Tav’s slight form—lean limbs and restless hands; a traveller’s body that rarely saw the sun. A body that could be better fed and more well rested. A body that could be stronger—a vessel that needed to be stronger for the unnatural presence it held. Deep within him, in a place that had lain dormant for many blissful years, Astarion could feel fear and shame settle. Nothing good tended to come of a union made flesh between mortals and monsters. There was a reason dhampirs were this rare; there was a reason mothers to dhampir children were even rarer. The strain of bearing life from death was too great—and it was entirely Astarion’s fault. But what was he to do? Could anything be done about this…predicament, now? All Astarion knew was that he couldn’t bear seeing Tav suffer; wasn’t she paying such a high price for his affliction already?
But Tav didn’t look like she was suffering, not now and not ever. Astarion scoffed at the discontented frown carved between her eyebrows as her hand searched blindly for his, only relaxing when he laced his cold fingers with hers. It was true, Tav was a little pale and her body bore all the signs of a future that had thus far been unwritten. And yet, now that Astarion bent over her, he could see the slight swell of her belly, the firmness of her breasts and recognise them for what they were. Tav was nothing if not resilient, always believing—knowing—that good things came their way. Had she ever given him reason to doubt her?
Carefully, Astarion rested his cheek below Tav’s navel, and there it was—the epicentre of their future, fluttering against his ear as if Tav had swallowed a little bird. He listened closely to the two heartbeats and tried to learn the intricacies of this new song. The sharp ends of Astarion’s fangs pierced his lower lip as he smiled widely against Tav’s belly. For nearly fifty years he and Tav had made love, and now love had eventually made something in return. But it had only just begun, hadn’t it? There was much to consider. They would have to settle down somewhere; being out in the wilderness, going town to town—it wouldn’t do any longer. They needed a safe place where Tav could gather as much strength as possible, a place where their child could thrive. They needed a home. Everything else would fall into place, surely…
There was another change in Tav’s heartbeat, signalling that she’d woken. It only took a second for her free hand to ghost over Astarion’s arm, his shoulders and the nape of his neck before it found its way into his dishevelled curls.
“What are you smiling about?” Tav asked, a sleepy curiosity laced in her voice that made Astarion look up at her face. He wondered again whether she knew of that second heart beating inside her or not, but Tav was a shit liar, and worse at keeping secrets—unlike Astarion.
He considered her a moment longer before he lifted his head off her middle and laid back beside her. Tav hummed contently as he pulled her against him, resuming their earlier position as if nothing had changed. “Just about how pathetically in love I am with you, and how my love for you only grows each day.” 
“Oh, just the usual then,” Tav yawned against his chest, mirroring his smile. “Nothing grand.”
She didn’t know, Astarion was sure of it. And he wouldn’t say anything, not at all. Tav would notice the change in herself soon enough, but for now, it was their secret—Astarion and the little life’s he’d discovered within her. “Nothing grand at all, my dear. Nothing grand at all.”
A good thing was happening to him; he could hear and taste it, feel it grow right there where Tav’s bare chest pressed against his—but who was he to keep that to himself?
“Darling,” Astarion blurted out. “How do you like Baldur’s Gate around…let’s say early Spring, I suppose?”
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tag list: @spacebarbarianweird @bardic-inspo @kawaiiusagichansan @darlingxdragon @herautumnmorningelegance  
@ayselluna @chonkercatto  @anukulee  @roguishcat @littlejuicebox
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allyriadayne · 7 months ago
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okay most employed people in westeros pre agot
tyland: went from westerlands bureaucrat to master of ships to lord treasurer to getting tortured to hand of a boy king #goals
elaena: first ever pensioner in the history of the iron throne. ran the master of coin office like the navy AND got a boytoy out of it.
aegor: single-handedly created the most successful mercenary company in essos and was probably the architect of the blackfyre rebellions after daemon died (flop).
larys: only person to ever enjoy being a little office guy. loves his job as head torturer so much he doesn't even care they are probably not paying him.
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triglycercule · 3 months ago
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dust with a fucked up savior complex save me dust with a fucked up savior complex SAVE ME!!!! he's literally sooo savior complex coded. he killed his underground to "save" everyone and stop the human from killing them. he thinks that it's better that he does the murdering instead of the human because he has better intentions. he's sad at the beginning (rightfully so) but savior complex dust really gets so much cooler when you add in the fact that dust eventually started to LIKE killing his underground 😭😭 like just..... imagine a manic dust who's gone mad going around claiming he's helping everyone with what he's doing when he's really,,,, not. soo cool.,,, (like dude how are you SAVING people if they don't exist after you've killed the person who was killing them. there is nobody to be safe but yourself anymore) (can you tell this was inspired by the one comic of dust killing his papyrus and saying "it was better if i did it" or something)
but also also on the other hand,,,,, revenge fueled dust??? he's gotten SO bitter from the repeated resets and genos that he's genuinely bitter enough to risk it all to stop the human. he doesn't have pure intentions in this one. dust doesn't claim he's saving anybody with what he's doing murdering them all. he KNOWS it's bad and wrong and hypocritical but he does it anyways because he wants to not only stop the human but to make them suffer. he purposely wants them to keep coming back after killing them just so he can kill them over and over and over and have them experience a fragment of the suffering he did with having all of his friends and family killed. but i think a revenge fueled dust (in contrast to savior complex dust) would be a lot cooler if he still felt shitty for killing everyone. it's painful to do but hate is stronger than love and dust's hate for the human is MUCH stronger than his love for the underground atp
#oooffff dust sans.... you are such an amazing CONCEPT!!!!#his au is so vague and barely elaborated on that its just so amazing for coming up with any sort of idea for. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT#these are all just different motivations for dust. salvation vs revenge#because really all dust is is sans kills underground to stop human. there is no other elaboration aside from some small pieces#dust sans is peak representation of the utmv and why it's great because#u can come up with cool ideas like this and still have it be semi canon esque#nothing will ever truely be canon unleas its from ask dusttale themselves but that just allows for cooler creativity :3#i love making dust a little more crazy that i perceive him to be#he's DEFINITELY the most mentally stable one of the mtt but once in a while let him be a freak too#mentally unwell mtt tier list from best to worst goes dust horror killer#horror is fucked up too but he has conscience and empathy and is partially environmentally affected#but killer just has too much going on with him that's fucked up that there is NO DAMN WAYYY he is any better than dust or horror#killer needs to be sent to the insane asylum and given the white room treatment (just like error!)#hey so that first concept of dust with a savior complex is ABSOLUTELY what inspired savior#i saw the idea of dust with savior complex and decided to give that to killer to make dust!killer. lookie at that#ohhhh is this a rant or hc????#i have too many damn interpretations of the mtt for me to call EVERYTHING a hc when its not#tricule rant#dust sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#utmv#sans au#i have 40 fucking drafts and yet i am not posting majority of them. what is wrong with me#and like 10 of them are dust based 😭😭😭 another 10 are horror based 😭😭😭 just post the damn drafts triglycercule!!!!!#nooo but the ideas aren't cool and only i would like them.... i say as i post this
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blingusdlingus · 7 months ago
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people on twitter failed to understand the intricacies of these tier lists . im confident that my tumblr following will be able to comprehend the nuance of my categorization.
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phantommuze · 8 months ago
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They've been married for years~
I draw nicer stuff btw~
My ko-fi | My carrd | Commissions Info | Ghost Rain webtoon
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sneeb-canons · 10 months ago
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Mind and Heart both know how to cook and bake. Mind prefers baking because of the rigid instructions, and Heart prefers cooking because he can experiment with the recipes.
Soul should not be allowed anywhere near a kitchen. Heart asked if Soul wanted to cook once and he brought out a Mountain Dew cookbook. He’s never asked again.
Headcanon #319
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gojuo · 4 months ago
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the greatest achievement hotd has managed to do is gaslighting the entire fandom into believing aemond is not the worst sibling out of all five of them
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slythereen · 1 year ago
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Genuinely I would love to see Charles leave Ferrari and go to Red Bull but at the same time I worry that him going to Red Bull would mean he won't get equal fighting status in the RB. What are your thoughts on this?
i think this is a lot of people’s hesitation over it tbh. my only remaining hesitation is the fact that charles really wanted it to be with ferrari and if he leaves it’ll be losing to that bank to some degree b/c the politics of it all managed to force him to leave his dream team… like, that’s upsetting. i almost wish to see ferrari become competent so that he can have everything he wants, be their chosen one, etc.
realistically i just don’t think they will any time soon. and right now, charles gets treated like a second driver to carlos 99% of the time, so if he’s going to get that treatment i would much rather it happen in an insanely competent team with a car that suits him (bc he and max have similar preferences) that he can excel with regardless of the team’s strategies. bc even if he doesn’t get preference, with the car he can carry it anyway.
however, i actually don’t think rbr would #2 driver him that aggressively. they like to be Unique™ and edgy. they like their youngest winners youngest drivers record breaking moldbreakers reputation. they are literally an energy drink dominating a bunch of legendary car constructors. if any team is going to decide to try out the two #1 drivers domination plan, it’s going to be rbr.
especially when 1) fia/libertymedia have been pushing for a team to do it for the entertainment, 2) it’s charles leclerc and treating ferrari’s (very beloved, very marketable) prince better than ferrari ever did is an insanely good look, 3) mercedes couldn’t really do it without bloodshed and rbr loves to outdo mercedes, and 4) rbr want to keep their star driver engaged and entertained enough to keep him from retiring to a different racing series… hand delivering his lifelong rival and new bestie in the same car so they can really fight (and knowing charles would actually challenge him) is a great strategy if you want to keep max in f1.
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One of my friends asked what some of my favorite moment in Worm are and I've narrowed it down to just a few but how am I supposed to choose between "they seem like good people" I lied, or the second lung fight with the caterpillar in the eye to win, or Taylor breaking out of the burning building Coil trapped her in, or her terrorizing people while drinking tea, or when Taylor tries to 1v1 Leviathan to save people and gets her back shattered, or when Rachel saves her afterwards, or when we learn Rachel carved the names of her dogs into the monument, or when Taylor almost kills Triumph with bees, or the Mannequin fight, or running through the streets to warn people about Shatterbird's scream, or the fridge, or cutting Noelle in half, or just how hopeless the Noelle fight seemed before that with Eidolon caught, or Eidolon and Glaistig Uaine's fight with Scion, or Phir Sé's time bomb engulfing Behemoth and just obliterating him only for Behemoth to keep going, or Chevalier's interlude where he goes out to fight Behemoth alone despite being injured, or String Theory, or the wards therapy interlude where Lily can't get over how Taylor's words are stuck in her head, or Labyrinth and Burnscar reuniting, or Legend looking at the lie detector after the meeting, or Taylor hovering over the ocean knowing she doesn't have the battery in her flight pack to get back, or Aster getting shot, or the oil rig fight when Taylor crawls back up as a monster after being cut in half, or the horror of Alec's interlude, or Bonesaw having a crisis because Contessa said like 4 words to her and oh hey that parallels with you needed worthy opponents I never noticed that, or Taylor telling Eidolon and Scion to fuck off and leave, or Scion's entire interlude, or Number Man's interlude when he thinks about what it means of powers if Jack Slash's loves how he does stuff, or Kevin Norton, or Taylor ruining the chili, or the cafeteria scene where she's outed but talks her way out, or maggots in his eyes monday, or her turning herself in, or her talk with Dinah when she realizes that there's a solid chance she becomes Coil and keeps Dinah around because it's useful, or her killing Coil, or her killing Alexandria and Tagg, or the Cauldron raid where she swings a death knife through a crowd to hit one guy, or her requesting Lung cauterize her arm, or when Piggot is kidnapped and she fucks up the Undersiders just by talking, or Taylor's attempt to become besties with the Simurgh, or the Simurgh singing a lullaby to Lisa and Taylor, or the tea party with Nilbog, Taylor, Jack, and Riley, or the moment she reunites with her team post-timeskip, or when Glenn shows her a video of her being horrifying and she only thinks about her passenger moving her in it, or when her passenger makes her choke on a cockroach to save her, or going shopping with Lisa for fun, or when she helps Rachel at the shelter, or when she goes home with Brian and meets Aisha, or when we see Dinah for the first time and it's fucked, or when Taylor has Amy fuck with her brain knowing she won't come back from it, or when Lisa finally opens up and tells Taylor about her trigger, or when Taylor goes blind, or when Clockblocker keeps asking her questions in the car ride to Echdina, or when Scapegoat takes her injuries and freaks out, or when Sundancer tears off her costume and walks through the portal after killing Noelle but the pavement is cooling around her because she'll never escape her power or what she just did, or Fortuna's interlude, or Rachel stepping into Khepri's range because she trusts her, or Lisa tearing into Taylor with words after she sees what happened, or the realization she can't read anymore, or the fight with Dragon where she thinks she killed her, or all of the fight with Scion where she's controlling thousands of people while her brain deteriorates, or "finally, everyone was working together," or the talk with Contessa at the very end? How am I supposed to choose?
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molinaskies · 1 year ago
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marfian · 11 months ago
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Christmas came early this year
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lunar-years · 2 months ago
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Not to sound batshit crazy but I graduated college in December 2018 at age 21 which immediately led into a year and a half of the deepest darkest depression I’ve ever experienced as I was separated from ALL of my closest friends (who were still finishing school across wildly different states) and moved back home as I was still struggling to figure out what to do with my life and eventually working a terrible but demanding retail, used bookstore job for $13/hr (worst experience of my life tbh) WHILST holding a double bachelors degree to Covid hitting in 2020 and being furloughed from said job and living off unemployment checks while still miserable and not seeing my extended family, to my Grandma (the most amazing woman ever ever rip) dying of cancer in Nov 2021 to my mom being diagnosed with rare stage 4 bile duct cancer in March 2022 to being one of her main caretakers for the last two years to now all of a sudden being 27 going on 28 still living at home caring for my dying mom in hospice and fearing I’ve wasted my youth and I just…. First of all I’m very proud of myself, in all honesty, for making it this far, because a couple times I didn’t think I was going to…and at the same time I feel like I’ve lost the entirety of my 20s to quarantine and shitty jobs and not making a living wage and grieving all the people I’m closest to which is. Really fucking shit!! Idk. I don’t know where I’m going with this. Life sucks and it’s also beautiful. I’m grateful to be able to log on to this stupid site and find a community of people who care about all the goofy things I care about. Love 2 u all.
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bugieeeee · 22 days ago
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@ifuckinghatebriansella tagged me in this even though I already know what they're stealing from my room
No pressure Tagging @i-am-not-to-be-perceived @myvirtuesuncounted @wellmanneredthief @somedancingdoodles @thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole @youmustfixyourheartt @iveofficiallygonemad
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