#big on the jerjean canon one!!!

[bentasabean]

Here’s my take on the Sunshine Court bingo

This litro took so much longer than it should’ve but it was worth it

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[aftgficrec]

any jerejean fluff or alternative universe fics?

There sure are!  Check out the previous Jerejean recs listed below for some good AUs and fluff, and then we found several new ones, all of which are AUs and most of which are fluffy.  Have fun! -F

post canon jerejean fluff here

short fluffy jerejean fics here

long jerejean fics here

jerejean faves here

jerjean artist au here 

Haunt me by eloquent_apollo [Rated G, 10315 words, complete, 2020]

Jeremy just recently moved into a new apartment, when during his first night alone he hears a voice. When he can’t find the source, the only logical explanation is that the place must be haunted. He flees the apartment in a panic, and begs his neighbour to let him stay the night. Too bad his neighbour is a fairly attractive guy, and now he has more than one problem to deal with.

(tw: implied/referenced abuse)

the souls of the lost weren't really alone by DeyaAmaya, NachtGraves [Rated M, 34950 words, complete, AFTG Big Bang 2020]

In a joint-op with the infamous Charleston field office known as Foxhole, Special Agent Jeremy Knox and his partner Alvarez travel to South Carolina to investigate the highly exclusive illegal supernatural fight rings catering to the mundane elite run by Riko Moriyama.

As Foxhole readies to catch the notorious vampire and leader to the expansive crime family's U.S. branch, Jeremy can't afford distractions. But when trying to clear his head one night, a man with desolate gray eyes won't leave his thoughts.

(tw: violence, tw: body horror, tw: human trafficking, tw: slavery, tw: minor character death)

NB: art for this piece by @andreil-minyasten here 

eyes wide open by jaylocked [Rated T, 13496 words, complete, 2016]

Jean blinked. Blinked again. Was sure he didn’t recognize the man on his doorstep, with his bright eyes and enormous grin and wavy blonde hair. Waited for him to explain himself with a simple raised eyebrow.

“Hi!” the man finally chirped. The sound was happiness channeled into a single word, and Jean wasn’t sure how he didn’t hate him already.

(based on the prompt from tumblr: "hi sorry I live below you and I hear your dog running around and barking all the time and– no no it's fine I was just wondering if I could pet it?" au)

(tw: alcohol, tw: childbirth)

'Be Worthy, Love, and Love Will Come,' In the Falling Summer Rain by imagined_melody [Rated G, 1875 Words, Complete 2019, AFTG Valentine’s Day Exchange]

Jean works at the library and tries to adjust to life after college. A chance encounter with Jeremy in the stacks helps bring him out of his shell.

(tw: implied/referenced abuse)

Miracle at Trojan Horse Coffee by fuzzballsheltiepants [Rated G, 3362 words, Complete 2018, AFTG Winter Exchange]

Jean has settled into his safe existence: working at Trojan Horse Coffee and pining after the first grade teacher who comes in every morning. Until a snow day throws a bit of a My Little Pony-shaped wrench into the works.

[nachtgraves]

for the kiss prompts, 48 with jeremy and jean?

Thank you for the prompt! I started three and a half fills for this and one of the other ones might appear later. I’m super into figuring out jerjean dynamics and writing more for aftg on the whole.

Send me prompts!

Title: Habits / AO3Word Count: 745Warnings/Tags: G. Post-canon, established relationship, domestic fluff.Prompt: Kiss out of habit

It took Jean months before he could go a full night – or asfull a night on the Raven’s schedule ingrained into his internal clock –without waking up soaked in cold sweat, a scream caught in his throat, andheart bruising his chest. Jeremy no longer sat up in his bed a few feet awaywith that wounded and worried expression on his face, those big brown eyespained by his helplessness. His frequent calls to Kevin that he thought Jeandidn’t know about tapered down and returned to exy instead of Jean’s fracturedmental and physical state.

With the more sporadic nightmares, Jean slowly startedtaking part in team activities outside of practice. He went to brunch withLaila and Sara every Tuesday before class at Laila’s favorite diner ten minutesfrom campus. He went to at least one of the weekly team movie night everymonth. His ‘spot’ quickly became the end of the large couch, Jeremy on abeanbag by his legs and Laila at his side. He still did his own extra practiceslate into the night, but they went from private to intimate as Jeremy joinedhim, usually alone but sometimes with one or two others from the team.

It took almost a year after Jeremy confessed for Jean tohold back the automatic no and spillthe yearning yes, allow himself thedeafeningly quiet I like you too.

Affection was hard, even after confession, maybe even moreso after those damning words. Jeremy let Jean control the pace and touch beganwith fingertips against fingertips and grew to a hand lingering on a shoulder,weight leaning against an arm, head nestled in the curve of shoulder and neck.

Kisses gradually found themselves in the boys’ daily routine,mostly by way of Jeremy.

Sleepy mornings (or early afternoons their rare day off)start with Jean making coffee or a protein shake, breakfast warming on thestove. Jeremy comes up behind him, smooshes a half-awake peck on a shoulder.With time, Jean turns his head and presses his unconscious smile and a bonjour to Jeremy’s ridiculous bedhead.

Jeremy’s touchy-feely affectionate with arms aroundshoulders and full-bodied hugs that lift people off their feet and maybe takesthem for a spin. Nights out with friends and teammates with drinks and dancing,Jeremy goes all in with his boundless energy. Jean humors a dance or two, maybefour if Laila and Sara come visit. Jeremy holds him close, hands clasped at theback of Jean’s neck, toothy grin aimed up. Jean takes warming up to be free andshowy, to spin Jeremy and dip him low, make him laugh and rise up on his toesto smooch Jean’s cheek noisily. The nights Jeremy’s in the mood for shiny lipgloss, Jean’s cheeks and mouth are sparkly and sticky until they get home.

Quiet nights are a movie or a game on the TV turned low andemptied Thai takeout on the coffee table. Jeremy starts sitting up beside Jean,but a half hour slumps into Jean’s side and continues his angled descent untilhis head is pillowed on Jean’s lap. One of Jean’s hand loosely tangles inJeremy’s hair, and the other ends up between Jeremy’s own. He plays with Jean’sfingers, traces the lines of Jean’s palm, absently brushes chapped lips againstJean’s knuckles. When Jeremy starts nodding off, Jean brushes Jeremy’s hairback from his face and brings their hands up and holds the back of Jeremy’s handagainst his mouth.

Bedtime is Jean showering first while Jeremy picks out theirpajamas and brushes his teeth. They swap with Jeremy handing Jean his towel andtoothbrush freshly pasted. Jean brushes his teeth to Jeremy singing, usually inSpanish. Jean takes his side of the bed, his back to the wall and face towardsthe bedroom door. Jeremy towels his hair dry and Jean watches him change intounderwear and a shirt for bed, sliding into the open space between Jean and thedoor. They read a book or scroll through their phones until sleep comes calling,usually on Jeremy first. Jeremy rolls to face Jean, eyes heavy andsleep-fuzzed. He reaches out and leans into Jean, a gentle and lingering pressof lips preceding good night, dulcessueños. Jeremy falls asleep quick and rolls onto his front, exchanges hispillow with Jean’s chest. Jean runs his hand through Jeremy’s hair, presses akiss to his hairline, and turns off the light.