#biggest military troll of my life

[freetheshit-outofyou]

34 years ago today one of the greatest unintentional Drill Sergeant trolls of all time played out, and Operation Just Cause was the punch line.

I went into Basic Training on 27 November 1989, quite literally from the first day the Drills were talking about "Christmas Exodus" and how we were going to be recalled from leave if a war broke out. Even further reenforcing this was the Drill Sergeant's that were in both the Atlanta and Dallas airports, after correcting you on your uniform that had basically nothing on it they all would say with a sly smile, "You'll be recalled if a war breaks out, don't go AWOL Private."

They said it at morning PT, we heard it in the chow line, we heard it before lights out for weeks we were told if a war broke out, we were being recalled to go to war.

I flew home after a just a few weeks of Basic on 19 December 1989, slept peacefully in my own bed, I did not have to hear every dude piss, fart, cough or cry that I was in basic with. I slept like a baby. That was until, my then wife, woke me up from my deep slumber in a panic.

"You're going to war, the U.S. invaded Panama!" I was flipping my shit, I mean I had not even been home 24 hours now I was going to be recalled and sent to Panama, where the fuck is Panama? For two days I stied home, sat by the phone and watched the news waiting to be recalled.

My dad, being how is he, said they are not recalling you, you have about 10 second in basic training. "But dad the drills said we'd be recalled....."

On 2 January I made it back to my Basic Training barracks where all the Drills looked very happy. Each one asking how those first few nights of leave were, and they'd laugh and laugh.

So that's how Drill Sergeants all over the United States inadvertently trolled thousands of Privates all over the Untied States.

Side note:

My first Unit, the 108th MP CO would just be getting back from post deployment leave for Just Cause. There is nothing quite like being the lowest Private in a unit full of PFC's with combat patches, Good news for me the Gulf War was just around the corner. For the next 2 years you'd see mustard stains on Jump Wings all over Fort Bragg. Update 2: My second unit would be the 549th MP CO in Panama, I followed a girl I like from my first Unit....As such things go, she PCS'ed and I stayed there for 4 1/2 years.

[la-noche-cae]

I think it's Extremely Relevant right now to talk about Skylanders' military propaganda [Edit].

I will not be graphic. But your further research on this... most likely will be, at least in a descriptive way.

A. Skylanders was created by Activision, the same company that made Call of Duty. Call of Duty (among others) is a game used to reel in youth for army recruitment. Just to picture what's the typical order of business for leaders at the company.

B. The whole idea of the Academy, ranks, "Us vs Them" mentality. "Light and order" vs "Darkness and anarchy". Regardless of your opinions on Anarchy as a system, darkness often equaling Kaos' workers such as trolls (and even gyps*es), and for Skylanders meaning dark skinned creatures, is pretty clear sign of their idea of evil.

[Edit: Light=Good and Darkness=Evil is not a universal experience. Multiple cultures consider it just as sacred, an equal, instead of an opposite to Light. Symbolically and Philosophically, there's more to it, beyond the typical eurocentric imaginary.

Speaking of eurocentric imaginary: to an uncritical consumer, this could potentially reinforce their ideas of good and evil. There is little wiggle room for these ideals to be challenged. They are exceptions of Skylanders' norm.]

C. Just in Superchargers, there are references to a Border being kept between Skylands and Outlands, High Volt being this "elite guard" that protects the border. Notice he looks like a riot police, in colors and gear- one of which is a riot shield. Protesting is a right, and in these parts of the world, it is often met with unhinged police violence. Regardless of your opinions on borders, the way such a thing is enforced in the USA is extremely violent. Even here in Puerto Rico, we have border patrol and constant surveillance (mostly aimed at keeping out our Dominican neighbors).

Do not get me started on the long history of Puertorrican oppression inflicted by USA Imperialism. (Agent Orange, Forced Sterilization, Vieques Occupation).

[Edit: Just... Copaganda in My video game? No, thank you. For ME, If I portray High Volt, I'd redesign and reinterpret him. He's like, a lightbulb. Perhaps he is part of a watch tower, but for other purposes].

D. Sorry, Nightfall here goes another problematic thing about you: Nightfall is dressed like a type of Navy admiral: A long coat with yellow buttons and yellow cord epaulets. She also has a vehicle called the Sea Shadow, referencing a real-life military ship designed for surveillance.

[Edit: Not every country has a military. And those who do have the biggest budget for it are typically using it as an imperial, colonial force. This is important, more so because Skylanders' target audience is the young eurocentric USAmerican. The parent company is Activision Blizzard, stationed in USA. The way other Skylanders talk about the Superchargers is like the Air Force are talked about by others in the army- they are the more "prestigious" ones with shiny new vehicles lmao].

E. The idea is that one can be a hero through this hard, thankless fighting... in another's land, "Securing" that land from the "evil ones". Sounds like Occupation and / or a Coup to me. Goes hand in hand with the point about Borders and Light vs Darkness.

[Edit: People. I am talking about this above with Manifest Destiny in mind. I am not claiming all the Skylanders are colonizers, lol! I'm saying there's way too many references to USA military propaganda to ignore. I ask you to use your own discernment / research to make your conclusions. There are things I didn't pick up.

I simply did Not appreciate Buzz telling Stormblade to do Psychological Warfare, or calling Glumshanks an "apple-polishing troll" when the guy just wanted to help. To me, this is not funny haha. It's funny like weird!]

___

These are the things on top of my head I've wanted to talk about for a while, but now more than ever is pressing to bring it up and discuss with intent to move forward. Don't go "You're overreacting" Please don't tell me I don't know anything about something I experience every day. Also, don't put words in my mouth, thanks. You can visit this post if you have questions.

If you can help it, don't give Activision any more of your money, for example, buying their newer games. Buy second hand.

Avoid spending at companies like Airbnb (which not just supports settlers but directly worsens my country's housing crisis), Apple, Hp, Motorola, McDonald's, Starbucks, Coca Cola, Mars chocolate, Nestle are a few others that dont have a clean track record. Get familiar with modern-day imperialist interest around you on your own, or with friends.

👋[If your knee-jerk reaction to this is to hate me perhaps inspect why that is? I'm not a big influential blog. Why you threatened? I can't force you or bully you to do anything, I'm just making my opinions known].

[ericmicael]

THE THREE CHARACTERS WHO IN MY OPINION HAVE A GREAT CHANCE OF DIE IN "FROZEN 3" OR "FROZEN 4"

YELANA: The way Yelana was treated is perhaps one of my biggest disappointments in the Frozenverse, in fact the way all Northuldras were treated after "Frozen 2" is disappointing, but Yelana in particular was much more so. Honeymaren and Ryder were at least mentioned constantly and even had personality development and goals for the future explained in a mobile game, while Yelana had the most she had in flashbacks involving Iduna. As the leader of the last Northuldra Tribe, a human who has the most knowledge of magic and having known Anna and Elsa's mother as a child, it is a huge waste to say the least and one that I think will be repeated in the next films. They can argue that they're saving her for the films, but are they saving her name too? In “Polar Nights” sometimes I think Mari and Jenn forgot about her and that's why they only mention Honeymaren and Ryder as known tribe members. A great arc that I thought she could have is being the person who tells the stories of Iduna as a child as Mattias does involving the stories of Agnarr as a child, but with this reinforcement of Elsa's abilities to bring back memories stored in Ahtohallan I believe that this role for Yelana got lost. But the big reason I believe she is the character in the franchise who is most likely to die is precisely the other two named Northuldras: Honeymaren and Ryder. The Nattura brothers have a certain plot for the future of the franchise, if the franchise wants to look at them, as Elsa and Kristoff's companions respectively: Ryder will be Kristoff's human friend who is his age and is also a fan of reindeer, Honeymaren as it is very reinforced in these post-F2 materials, it could be Elsa's magic teacher, consultant on the forest and who knows something else. Honeymaren will pass on Yelana's knowledge and perhaps even take control of her tribe. In the "Frozen 2" art book, Honeymaren's great sense of leadership is reinforced, which is in fact presented in the film as she leads the attack battalion that ambushes the Arendelle group, but who knows, this description has a meaning beyond just a military one. Honeymaren and Ryder being linked to Elsa and Kristoff already guarantees a certain immunity for both characters, but Yelana is alone and the roles she could play have been discarded or are being guided to Honeymaren… Yelana is a disposable character unfortunately.

SVEN: this is the type of death possibility that the vast majority of the fandom will not believe is possible since we are talking about Disney, Sven is a popular character, a popular animal character and Disney would not have the courage to make children cry. And honestly just because it's Disney I don't believe in that possibility, but I still put it out there as a strong possibility because I want Disney to be brave. To begin with, I'll say that Sven's natural death is a good path to follow because it would be a great arc for Kristoff: Kristoff after "Frozen 2" is experiencing the greatest peak of his life, he's engaged to Anna who he dated for years, he has best friends and is even surrounded by reindeer. Kristoff is at the point in his life where he couldn't ask for anything more and then his best friend who he's known since childhood starts to show the problems of age. Maybe even Sven has a girlfriend (a reindeer friend of Ryder's) and kids. Kristoff, at the best moment of his life, thinking about his future fatherhood, ends up having to deal with Sven's goodbye. If Disney wants a mature arc for “Frozen 3” or “Frozen 4” this is a good arc, and it would also be a good arc for Kristoff without having to remove his parents from the grave creating a conflict with the Troll Family or him being again solely defined by his relationship with Anna (although his arc on the podcast is interesting it is also driven a bit by Anna as he is more tempted to become an industrialist to be someone worthy of marrying a queen).

AHTOHALLAN: is it a character? I consider that she is, yes, and a female character at that. Ahtohallan is the greatest current symbol of magic in the franchise's universe, the ultimate objective of “Frozen 2” present in legends and lullabies, but what if she is discovered by those who don't like magic? Hatred for magic and the industrial revolution are two of the big threat themes that I speculate for the next films (there is a third theme, but I won't talk about it now). With the opening of the gates of Arendelle and the revelation of Elsa's magic, I imagined that there would be more people thinking like Duke Weselton and in the end we were only introduced to Runeard's actions in the past, but as I said in the past, I imagine someone with the same thoughts now in the present seeing the Enchanted Forest open and the spirits free. If someone with the same thoughts as Runeard found out about the Enchanted Forest and Ahtohallan they would want to destroy the Fortress of Solitude, but to have a clear path they might attack the Enchanted Forest first to distract the spirits as they head towards the glacier (whereas ordinary ships as Agnarr and Iduna perished on the way, perhaps a certain technological touch would give the necessary strength for other vessels to cross the Dark Sea, and the attack on the Enchanted Forest could victimize Yelana). The destruction of Ahtohallan would be a huge blow to everyone and perhaps even have repercussions on the existence of magic and that's why I consider an end to the Fortress of Solitude possible... Although I don't believe it would be a definitive end since I believe Elsa can recreate her somehow.

BONUS

OLAF: this is perhaps the most speculated death in the fandom, but I still only included it as a bonus quote because I don't believe it. There are rumors, unconfirmed, that Josh Gad himself wanted Olaf to die definitively in “Frozen 2” and regardless of the veracity of the rumors, he was the only one from the main group who made a tweet with a certain air of farewell to the character. And a few months later he was the only one acting as the character again. Even if it's real that Josh Gad wanted an end to Olaf, I don't believe in an end to the snowman simply because it already happened in “Frozen 2”. Okay, it wasn't a definitive death, but are we going to repeat the same thing again just changing the ending? Serious? Even if Elsa loses her powers temporarily in “Frozen 3” or “Frozen 4”, perhaps with the destruction of Ahtohallan, I don't believe in Olaf's death because it would only be a repetition and I really don't want the likely last films in the franchise to just recycle old plots even if changing one thing or another to say they are different. So Josh Gad, if you can't stand Olaf anymore, I advise you to continue wiping your tears on the big pile of hundred dollar bills that Disney pays you to say a few sentences and tell a few jokes.

I mention the main cast because Alfred Molina/Agnarr in one of the first interviews after F2 said that he doubted he would return for a possible third film, and in parallel to this Rachel Matthews/Honeymaren is one of the most excited about returning to voice her character.

[nekropsii]

not the biggest fan honestly :T

I feel like the biggest issue with modern homestuck fanon is that whether people liked it or not, and how if its concidered dubiously canon or not, hs^2 and epiloge characterization has bled into fanon. the majory of hs fans hate hs^2 (and for good reason), yet Jane hate has gone up, people are being sooo unnecessarily weird about davejadekat (/all of its pairings) and bi characters in general, rosemary is deemed boring (killkillkillkill-), people don't see jake as a person will feelings, karkat?? kanaya?? trolls?? never heard of them, unless you mean those.. things we keep around to fuel the humans plots sometimes and act as the occasional therapist. Also... Dirk...

THESE ARE ALL THINGS FROM HS^2, THE COMIC YOU HATE!!! WHY ARE YOU LETTING IT LIVE RENT FREE IN YOUR BRAIN??

karkat is probably one of if the my most favorite character, I think hes interesting as hell!!! but alot of what makes him intersting comes from how he fits against troll society/against other trolls imo??? his mutation, his dancestory/him being the litteral second coming of christ, the significance of his secretly caring personality in a violent child soldier evil murder military state and what it says about it as a whole with his role as the alternian equivalent of the 'everyman', his familial relationship with kanayah, his unique relationship with romance, etc, these things all mean jack shit to humans, and shine best around other trolls, yet all he is now is daves side bitch, i feel fanon has sorta moved away from hs and into earthC, noone really cares about alternia anymore as trolls are just seen as humans but grey. even comander!karkat focuses more on dave angst than karkat, a minority amongst his people, leading a revolution a'la signless style??

idk i just feel like hes just been watered down into the easily digestible 'angry character' who is sad sometimes for,,, resons. i feel like this disconnect from alternia in general just sort takes away depth from beta troll characters in general?? even metorstuck content now feels shallow and disconnected??

And what sucks is that i like davekat, and people are right about them being a great pairing for working out their issues together , but at the same time i miss litteraly ever other karkat ship, i miss the days of the karkat x beta trolls harem and being able to use quadrants for him without being deemed problematic for not adheering to queer identity of a race that dosent exist and dosent effect anyone because real life has no oppressive poly romance system, and im just sick if this ship reducing the characters down to a pinterest black and red asthetic moodboard when they are so much more than that.

oh wow sorry this is too long, i dont think i did the best job at following a single line of though and went on a bit of an unnecessary tangent abt fanon and hs^2 so srry about that, I hope my general thoughts were still decipherable??

Id have to say mituna is my second favorite but i dont need to tell you whats wrong with his fanon character lol. I really appreciate all of your alpha troll analysis and you art is cool as hell!! srry that this fell into more venty teritory and for any spelling mistakes, i hope you have a good rest of your day/night!!

I say this with no disrespect at all, in fact I am enthralled: I didn’t even know asks could be this long!! Thank you for your input, I agree with you! And don’t worry- you were quite clearly comprehendible! You covered a lot of ground already, but allow me just a moment to commentate on specific points…

The bleeding of HS^2/Epilogues content/reinterpretations into the larger sphere of full-fandom fanon has been a slow, insidious process. I think the fact that most people have not taken the time to reread Homestuck proper, be it due to lack of time/energy or fear of its length, has really added to this- because a gradually slipping grip on what is and is not canon simply doesn’t pair well with rather disagreeable dubiously canon sequel content having come out fairly recently. The thing about DubCanon is that, whether you or I like it or not, people are going to apply those particular reinterpretations of the characters to what their idea of canon is, and- typically- they will fail to remember that the changes made to the characters were changes in the first place. Rather large ones, at that. This is not only how and why people are out here thinking that Jane was not only legitimate Troll-Racist in Homestuck, but also how and why they get the idea that she’s always been that way.

I’m not sure if my memory is failing me or not, but as far as I remember, while biphobia has always been a problem in the fandom- baffling, considering most characters are textually bi- it really does seem like it’s at an all-time high right now. People are adamantly refusing the idea that some characters are bisexual. Dave and Karkat are the ones I see the most regularly erased, but Jake is also pretty high up there.

The current drought of Alternia content is so sad. Earth C is great, don’t get me wrong- it’s the planet I most regularly work with/develop because of Sovereignstuck- but people oft throw out the concept of conflict when using it. Especially, like, social/political conflict. Earth C is basically synonymous with Flawless Utopia, at this point. It’s a petty complaint, sure, but I don’t like it. :(

I absolutely despise how trolls have been turned into gray humans with horns! They’re bug aliens!! Bug aliens!!! That’s so much cooler than gray humans with horns!! Fuck!!

I kinda disagree that a change of setting takes away from the Beta Trolls as characters- I think the issue isn’t the fact that there’s a setting change, it’s that the writers aren’t really willing to work with the fact that, uh… You know… The Beta Trolls have vastly different socializations and come from a vastly different cultural background than the Beta/Alpha Kids? You could very easily find conflict and development with the setting change. You’d just have to keep in mind the way that their upbringing would affect them and how they’d respond to their new environment. Old habits die hard, you know? It’s a whole new planet, a whole new myriad of cultures, and whole new societies with whole new rules and whole new customs. There’s so much intrigue you could get with that fact alone!!

I like DaveKat, too. It’s fall from grace is astounding, and it’s honestly made me like them less, which is a shame because it was pretty important to me when I was younger, and Dave and Karkat used to be top favorite characters of mine. They’re basically just… Blank slate characters now, made to slap whichever miscellaneous scenario or random romance trope onto, without any regard to what their characters are or what made their dynamic good in the first place.

It’s funny- I don’t think the Quadrant Queerness was made into a huge deal in canon or anything? At least, I don’t quite remember it being a federal fucking issue. Yeah, Karkat’s Quadrant struggles were there, but I don’t think it was really… Associated with being “Troll Gay” or anything. I’m at least 80% sure that was just something the fandom latched onto and blew out of proportion- I see more talk about Karkat being “Pan-Quadrant,” I believe the term was, than I see content of any other part of his character arc? Crying shame, too- considering, again, as you said, he’s the fucking Second Coming of Jegus.

[sanjuno]

how do you reckon things would change if Obito and Kakashi remembered their past lives as Izuna and Kanna? (And have you given a past incarnation of Rin in the Warring Era?)

… @deverickracoma you mean, like in canon? Huhhhh…

Well first off before Rin was Nohara Rin she was Senju Touka. Which makes this situation super fun because both Izuna and Kanna died before Hashirama strong armed Konoha into existence and Touka only went along with it because Her Stupid Little Cousins Need Some Common Sense. XP

In her lives as both as Touka and as Rin she holds the single (1) braincell for this Disaster Trio.

So Izuna dies via Tobirama’s sword. And then Kanna kinda… revenge rampages with Madara until the critical angst threshold is reached as Kanna just… explodes both theirself and the battlefield. 

There’s a whole lot of background stuff behind the suicide run such as Kanna’s Hatake side suffering from mate-loss depression and their Uchiha side suffering from Makengyou Madness and also Really Bad post-partum depression compounding it and yeah. Unfortunately Madara is just as wrecked from Izuna’s death so he can’t really support Kanna and it all goes to shit because we all know canon is a shitshow.

But anyway Touka is there to see Izuna die and she is well aware that Tobirama has just made a horrible decision driven by unacknowledged jealously and overzealous paranoia. Then Touka barely manages to save Tobirama’s pasty ass from the screaming revenge demon that she later learns was Izuna’s wife. And then Touka stands witness as Hashirama forces peace at sword point.

So Touka is just there like, “Oh for fucks sake we’re all going to die horribly.”

And, of course, Touka was right everything is horrible and everything hurts. 

Only now it’s plot-twist time and Touka, who was investigating certain questionable sources about the ongoing breakdown of social order in Konoha gets killed by Zetsu in order to cause even more tension against the Uchiha in Konoha and hey guess what? Yeah, that’s right Rin remembers the creepy plant-demon thing gloating about stealing Uchiha Madara (aka the only one vaguely strong enough to combat Kaguya at that time given he had naturally manifested the Rinnegan) for his own use before Zetsu killed her in a suspiciously ambiguous manner.

Shit.

Fuck.

Four year old Nohara Rin has a vendetta and the ability to kill a grown man. 

So obviously given that the Plant Demon is trying to kill off the Uchiha using shadowy assassinations and rumour mongering the Plant Demon is afraid of the Uchiha. Ergo the Uchiha are a threat to the Plant Demon otherwise it would confront the Uchiha more openly.

So.

Rin therefore needs to make super-duper ride-or-die best friends forever with at least one (1) Uchiha. And then, on the first day at the Academy, Rin runs into an absolute dork wearing Madara’s face.

Ah. Says Rin, channelling canon!Madara. That One. That’s The One I Need For My Plan To Succeed.

Cue the Rin and Obito Bonding Moment ™ that will repeat as a flashback every time their history is at any point mentioned in the narrative.

As for Obito, well… when he was Izuna he loved his Clan but then when he was reborn he read the Clan Histories from after his death and the public history of Konoha and Obito knows his Clan are a bunch of fucking traitors who stabbed his big brother in the back and that’s why Obito is both disgusted by the Uchiha and overprotective of the Clan’s reputation because Madara still loved their Clan even after they turned on him.

I may include Obito unearthing Madara’s private journals from a hidden cubby in the Naka Shrine that only Izuna would have known to look for. Just for the sake of an extra knife and also so that Obito can find proof of Zetsu’s sabotaging his brother’s mental health. 

Obito is more than a little weepy and sentimental over the fact that Madara honoured Izuna’s last request to the point Madara destroyed himself and his connection to the Clan. Obito can’t blame Madara for giving in when Hashirama forced peace to try and protect the few loyal Clan members who remained. Obito decides to protect Konoha and the Uchiha because he won’t let Madara’s last wish go unfulfilled but he’s going to become the fucking Hokage and tear out all the Senju-inflicted rot infecting his Big Brother’s Dream.

Obito is openly disdainful of the Clan Elders and the only people he even vaguely respects is the Head Family. Mostly because Mikoto is descended from Izuna’s daughter and even though Izayoi married “Tobirama’s student Kagami” she was still his baby girl and Mikoto is his great-grand daughter and he loves her because she’s his family.

Mikoto, Obito, and Shisui are all descendants of Kagami and Izayoi’s kids so they’re second-third cousins. Obito spends a lot of time pondering the overlap of self-care and I-love-my-grandbabies. It’s a fun little exercise in existentialism.

In the meantime Kakashi is still a little shit-disturber of the highest order. Kanna was taught all the fun Uchiha Clan Skills as Izuna’s wife and now Kakashi has learned all the fun Hatake Clan Skills from Sakumo and the little bastard is even more terrifying than canon. Kakashi is more gender-fluid than agender the way Kanna was though which is a fun new flavour of dysphoria-through-reincarnation that I’ll probably enjoy exploring.

Now, this does mean that Kakashi starts wearing his mask before Sakumo gets scapegoated which is a minor yet still significant change from Kakashi’s canon characterization-and-motivations.

So Kakashi blitzes their way through the Academy in like, 6 months because Kakashi has negative chill and an understandably paranoid focus on keeping their dad alive this time around. The only people Kakashi respects are the Military Police and their Dad everyone else can perish. Minato is A Constant Despair because he cannot control this sassy hell child Sakumo-sempai pls tell your son to l i s t e n t o m e.

Sakumo-sempai goes “LOL nope” because Sakumo is also a troll but is better at hiding it than Kakashi is.

So Rin and Obito are BFFs then Kakashi rips through their class like ground lightning and the sparring scene happens but the kickback of Uchiha-memories manifesting as body action means the spar is a familiar dance and so Obito is like “OMG K a n n a” and cue Obito stalking Kakashi like a schoolgirl with an obsessive crush and no concept of personal boundaries.

Enough shenanigans occur to 1. make Team Minato a cohesive and functional thing instead of a train wreck, and 2. keep Sakumo alive because Kakashi recognizes their Dad’s suicidal tendencies for what they are and so they set their ninken up as watchdogs to make sure Sakumo doesn’t do anything stupid. Because Kakashi’s biggest regret is leaving Madara and Izayoi to suffer grief without them and they refuse to let that sort of despair take away anyone they care about again.

So now Team Minato is bonding, and they are friends, and they are all slowly coming to the realization that they all remember their previous lives. So they start to share information and gradually piece together where Zetsu’s influence has been applied as they try to figure out what the Plant Demon’s endgame is.

Which means that Team Minato is 100% more paranoid about mission intelligence than they were in canon and also Rin more than ready to gut the Iwa-nin who tries to kidnap her during the Kannabi Bridge Mission so that’s fun. Team Minato has also made a point system for rooting out moles, spies, and traitors to hand over to T&I. 

Sarutobi had a lovely headache when the knowledge that Sakumo’s mission had been sabotaged “accidentally” got leaked. (Kakashi had given the old man more than enough time to fix the rumour mill so it’s on Sarutobi’s own head that he didn’t take action before Kakashi did.)

Also Team Chaos Gremlins Minato manages to charm Orochimaru over to their camp via one of Obito’s rage fuelled rants about dismantling the hypocritical indoctrination of the institutionalized status quo. Specifically, the fact that the Hokage is supposed to be a public service position voted on by the people who only really has complete executive power during war time. Instead of a unilateral dictator chosen by the previous Hokage’s undisguised bias and favouritism.

Also because they’re all proof of the reincarnation cycle existing. Orochimaru is living his best life especially when Team Minato trash talks the other two Sannin. 

Rin is the Most Offended by Tsunade fucking off and abandoning her responsibilities. Tsunade basically inherited all of Hashirama’s worst traits without any obvious redeeming qualities to balance it out. Because, let’s be honest, the only reason Hashirama got any level of respect is because he was Over Powered to the point of ridiculousness and because Tobirama plus Mito were in charge of his public image.

Kakashi and Obito are both hyper-loyal so having Jiraiya decide to just not come back during wartime and for Tsunade to abandon her responsibilities as a healer and Clan Head has destroyed any possible respect they might have had.

Obviously Orochimaru is the best Sannin so he’s the one they’re going to make friends with. Also they drag Orochimaru back to the Hatake Clan House to commiserate with Sakumo about being the target of a Village wide smear campaign. Which strengthens both Orochimaru and Sakumo’s spirits enough to resist their Bad Endings from canon.

All of this basically allows Team Minato to have the leverage to track down Zetsu’s creeper cave and they find Madara trapped and blinded and leashed to the Gedo Mezo, and Obito nearly has a world-destroying breakdown. Rin stands guard while Obito and Kakashi have a tearful reunion with Madara and there’s a lot of dramatic apologizing and sobbing.

They all know that they can’t leave Madara here with Zetsu, but detaching him means he’s going to die. Eventually Madara makes the decision himself to break the connection because he refuses to be used as a hostage against his little brother. So Madara tells Obito where his eyes are (which means that the Ame trio are going to get kidnapped by Team Minato eventually) plus a run-down of all the subversive plots Zetsu has had a hand in, and then Madara outright smashes the statue.

Normally nothing would be able to destroy the Gedo Mezo given that it’s basically the fossilized corpse of a god but Madara is currently part of it which means that the statue’s defences don’t realize Madara is a threat. So, statue goes boom, the cave starts to collapse, and Team Minato runs away with Madara’s body so they can give him a respectful burial.

Zetsu has approximately ten thousand aneurysms in the space of one (1) second.

From here the kickback really starts to pile up because Obito now makes a habit of dropping in on newborn Uchiha to check and see if Madara’s been reborn yet. Which means that Sasuke has a really invested older cousin hanging around to take Itachi’s place when Itachi make dumb decisions.

Rin is grumpy because basically every Clan who joined Konoha had a bunch of Senju marry into their Clan so finding Hashirama’s reincarnation is basically impossible. (And then, of course, Naruto is born and Rin faceplams 1000 times because of fucking course.)

Kakashi is laughing at both of them. Right up until they take command of Team 7 and notice a hated familiar chakra under the skin of a pink haired little girl. (All three members of Team Minato nearly die laughing because Tobirama is a pink haired little girly girl heeeeee~)

Anyway aside from all the family drama Team Minato also manages to dispose of Danzo and exposes his “plot against the Hokage”, boosting Sakumo’s public image to the point he gets named as the Fourth, fixing the stigma Orochimaru faced despite being the only loyal member of the Sannin, and basically terrorizing Konoha with Political Activism.

Zetsu probably goes a bit around the bend thanks the Team Minato destroying all his hopes and dreams plans. Also they keep putting the pressure on and exposing Zetsu’s schemes and eventually that gains enough momentum that the other Villages are taking a good hard look at shit that’s going down and hey wait w h a t t h e f u c k …

Obito eventually takes over as the Fifth Hokage and tears apart the corrupt government systems like a Tasmanian Devil going through a rotting carcass because Big Brother’s Dream Will Become A Reality B E L I E V E I T !

The End. XP

[palamig]

#junkterrorbill

TW: politics, police brutality

I have been absent from this website for a very long time, and a lot of devastation has happened since then. I hope everyone is doing well, and I hope all of your families are safe. As much as I’d like to be concerned about Covid, the events unfolding in my country prevent me from doing so. 

I’m a Filipino, born and raised in the Philippines. I lived in the countryside before moving to Manila for college and eventually law school. I’m on my last year as a law student, hence my absence. I’m taking the bar examination next year (supposedly this year, but due to Covid, the Supreme Court moved the exam date to next year.)

I’d like to say I’m passionate about my (future) profession. Learning the law has been nothing but enlightening to me in many ways. But things right now are making me question why we’re learning the law, when the people expected to uphold it are the same ones breaking, insulting, and abusing it. 

If you don’t already know, the Philippine Congress has passed the Anti-Terrorism Bill—a bill that will supposedly crack down on the (almost non-existent) terrorist problem in my country. The President certified this bill as urgent, and now it only needs his signature before passing into law. 

The law gives this “Anti Terrorism Council”, headed by our President and some of his closest cabinet officials, the authority to determine who is a “terrorist.” If you are suspected of being a “terrorist”, you can be arrested anywhere without a warrant, and then jailed for 2 weeks or more, without being allowed to contact anyone since the police confiscate your phones immediately upon arrest. Under our law, the police can only detain you for 3 days, after which they have to bring you to a judge. If you’re detained for longer than that, they have to pay you 500,000 pesos (or around $10,000) per day you’re illegally detained. Under the Anti Terrorism Bill, you can be detained for as long as the police want, without the police having to pay you damages if you’re detained longer than what’s legal. 

Under the law, a “terrorist” has a vague meaning: you’re a member of a non-government organization (women’s groups, organizations lead by indigenous people, etc.) that’s known for voicing out your opinions against government policies, or even if you’re just a regular person who has said anything that the government feels will “destabilize” them. They can tag you as a terrorist, tap into your phones and computers, track you down, and throw you into jail.  Worst case scenario, they can shoot you on the spot in the name of “self defense.” For regular people (who aren’t public officers), that’s 12 years to life imprisonment). All that, legal, under this law. 

The senators who are “defending” this law, are telling us that we just have to trust the law enforcement authorities. 

But the thing is, we don’t trust our police. At all. 

The Duterte administration has been notorious for red tagging. The police have been accusing innocent people of being drug pushers, and without the benefit of a court trial, shooting them dead, like wild animals, under the name of this administration. Thousands have been killed in Duterte’s infamous “war on drugs” if you’ve heard it. An author from the New York Times wrote a Pulitzer Prize-winning article back in 2016 about the “collateral damage” of our country’s inhumane drug policy. Most of the victims of police brutality are people from the slums, members of the urban poor, who are barely even being paid minimum wage. Because they’re defenseless, they’re the easy and the usual targets of both this administration, and the people who support it. The worst part is, there are people out there actually happy that thousands have been killed. To them, our country feels “safer.” (All thanks mainly to our President’s propaganda). 

Just recently, a few police officers killed a retired war veteran, Winston Ragos, who they claimed was violating quarantine protocols (”violation of quarantine protocols” is their trendy new reason to justify arresting and abusing people). The killed him and claimed they did it out of self defense, even though it was five armed men against one. More importantly, Winston Ragos was mentally ill. He developed PTSD when he served the army. 

We’ve started protesting against this bill both online and physically. This morning, police raided one of our universities (University of the Philippines-Cebu) and arrested students who were peacefully protesting. Police said they were violating quarantine protocols, but couldn’t really explain what part of our COVID law they violated. What the President’s “troll army” has been trying to circulate is that these student protesters are members of the New Philippine Army, a group of communist insurgents which the government has, since the beginning of time, been using as a reason to justify military presence and abuse. They used the imaginary threat of communist insurgency as a reason to declare martial law back in 1972, and they’re using it again to abuse their power and abuse the people.  

I’d like to add that the Philippine National Police are notorious for planting evidence. But a lot of these cases are not being reported. Based on 800+ reports submitted to the UN High Commission On Human Rights, they found that policemen had been planting the same guns in different crime scenes back when they were still implementing the “war on drugs.” But because police officers are almost immune in my country (except perhaps one or two who are sacrificed to save the agency’s face), no one (at least, not in the government) said a thing about it. The rumor back then was that the police were given a quota of kills and get bonuses if they meet the quota. Animalistic. I know some high ranking officials from the national police and from the army who’ve resigned because they did not like the violent way Duterte is leading his men. 

I’m scared. We’re all scared. There is virtually no one in this government we can trust. Not in the Duterte or his cabinet, in Congress, or even in our Supreme Court (a handful of the new justices were appointed by this President). In the government, the voices of the opposition are few and far in between, drowned by the majority who are allies of the President. In the past few years, the government has made a spectacle of silencing and humiliating those who speak out about his human rights abuses.

We’ve reached the point where people actually celebrate when others are killed, humiliated, or when they voice out against injustice. They rejoiced when the government forced one of our biggest TV companies to shut down, putting thousands of people out of work at a time they need to be working and earning money. They bullied and made fun of the actors who spoke out against the shutdown. Reason for the shutdown? Simply because the TV company refused to air Duterte’s campaign ad, and chose instead to air the anti-Duterte campaign ad of an opposition senator which exposed Duterte’s misogny (he always makes rape jokes and even admitted to the media that he molested his helper when he was young) and violent tendencies. Now, they’re rejoicing at the sight of student protestors getting arrested, protesters who are disappearing without a trace. 

I’m sorry this has gotten long and complicated. So many things have happened and I can’t put them all into words, let alone in one post. And I haven’t even started talking about the fuckery that is this country’s response to the pandemic. And the even bigger fuckery that is our justice system. Philippine politics has always been dirty, but at these times, they’re at its dirtiest. They’re blatantly bending our laws to serve their own personal interests. 

For the longest time, I’ve always believed in humanity. I always tried to see the good in people, no matter how naive it sounds. But this administration, this President, has brought out the ugliest, darkest sides of humanity – and people continue to defend and glorify him.

I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe from the virus. We’re doing the best we can to defend our rights and to save our country. Please have my country in your thoughts. 

[dogcopter]

Dogcopter Appearance Masterlist

thank you to resources SU Wiki Dogcopter and Dogcopter/Gallery, and Steven Says wiki transcript searcher

This is just a list of Dogcopter appearances in SU, not analysis. One or two may surprise you!

Dogcopter episode appearances

Lars and the Cool Kids

Lion 2

Some people say ‘You can't teach an old dog new tricks’... Unless you're Dogcopter 3, in 3D! This February, the fur hits the fan!

Steven: Whoah, I can see why this is your favorite film franchise. Connie: That's right! In a world where humanity is pushed to the brink, it turns out that the one who is most human, is a dog! Copter. Steven: and did you see where that missile came out of? Connie: Heh, yeah. I just hope it stays faithful to the book. 

Amethyst: Oh, that's easy! Who needs to go see movies when you’ve got magic?

Steven: I'm sorry! I ruined everything, didn't I? I don't know why you hang out with me. I mess stuff up all the time. Connie: I don't know why you hang out with me! I'm so much more less interesting than you! And obviously you have some sort of magical destiny. Why would you even care about something like Dogcopter? Steven: Why?! Because it's Dogcopter! He's a dog, and a helicopter, and a cop! He shoots missiles out of his butt, and he's gonna save the world! Dogcopter is very cool and important to me. Connie: Well, I'm no Dogcopter.

Keep Beach City Weird 

Dogcopter 3 SUX April 23, 2014

I saw Dogcopter 3 in 3D tonight and all I have to say is WOOF!  

First of all, it’s a huge mistake to turn the last Dogcopter book into THREE movies.  Yes, the last book is over 900 pages, but there’s not enough story!  And the 3D was completely unnecessary.  If I wanted to see butt missiles flying at my face, I’d feed a dog some bottle rockets and put on a pair of safety goggles.

Dogcopter is supposed to be an uncompromising look at the military-industrial-pet complex, not “fun”!  Fun is the worst.

Also, if you live in the Delmarva area - do not see it at the Beach City Cineplex.  The parking lot is a mess!  Probably from a bunch of angry Dogcopter fans rioting.  Ugh, I’m going to see this 3 more times to make sure I hate it.

Tags: dogcopter 3 in 3D keep beach city weird kbcw

-

Lion 3

Dogcopter: I win. Steven: Oh, what? That was a good move! Dogcopter: Thanks. Steven: Dogcopter. How do you do it? Dogcopter: How do I do what? Steven: I mean, what's your secret? How'd you get so talented? Dogcopter: Don't focus so much on talent, Steven. Making art is all about communication. A piece of art is a conversation. Every choice you make, is a statement.

Continued under cut

Dogcopter: Don't worry about labels, or conforming to a standard. Just be true to yourself, and people will appreciate your honesty. Steven: Woah. Thanks for the advice. Dogcopter: And take a deep breath. Steven: What?

suworkbook wrote a brilliant piece of meta around this dream

Steven: Here again? I don't know what this place is but it feels... familiar. Why can't I breathe? Wait a minute... Lion! Lion, my face is not your bed! What's going on with you?

Chille Tid

Steven: Whoa. Dogcopter! Mr. Copter! Sir! I'm one of your biggest fans, can I please have your autograph? Dogcopter: (meows) Steven: Mr. Copter, please! Steven: Hey wait! Where are you going?! Steven: I hope the rumors about Dogcopter in the tabloids aren't true. Steven: Huh? Oh! Hey, Pearl! Steven: Wait! Don't eat me! Steven: Oh, man! Thanks for the upgrade, Pearl! Now I can catch up with Dog— Steven: Woah, Amethyst? Steven: Hmm... This is... getting really weird. Lapis: This is weird. Steven: Hey, that sounds a lot like— Lapis: Steven! Steven: Lapis Lazuli! Lapis: Steven, what are you doing in here?

Keep Beach City Weird

KEEP BEACH CITY SPOILER FREE January 04 2016

Hey weirdos!  For the past few months, I’ve done something unprecedented - I’ve stayed off the internet.

It was hard but I had to do because I’ve been trying to stay SPOILER FREE for the movie event of the new millennium!  This December was the revival of one of the most famous sci-fi franchises in the world.  Yep, you know what I’m talking about: DOGCOPTER.

So for three months, I sequestered myself from all internet communications.  I handed over my laptop and my phone to my little bro, Peedee, and ordered him to bury them in an undisclosed location in the deserts of New Mexico.

I think he just put them in the walk-in freezer at the fry shop.  

I won’t lie, it was hard.  But I calmed my nerves by reacquainting myself with the “Young Adult Conspiracy” section at my local library.  And instead of getting in arguments with internet trolls, I got in real life arguments!  With my dad!

And after months of avoiding and spoilers or teasers or trailers, I was in line for Dogcopter 4, and then some dummy walking out of the theater TOTALLY SPOILED EVERYTHING and was like, “I can’t believe that Dogcopter’s parents are actually cats.”  

Ug!  I hope you’ve seen the movie because that’s pretty much the big ending.  Dogcopter dies defending the planet but then he comes back to life because he’s actually part cat and cats have 9 lives.  Anyway, the movie was pretty much ruined.  So now I’m back.  Spoilers are the worst.

Tags: Keep Beach City Weird Dogcopter

-

Fun fact if you invert this poster and adjust the contrast a bit, some odd diagram in the back appears:

Steven’s Birthday

Amethyst: What are you doing? Steven: Well uh...What are YOU doing? Greg: What are YOU doing to your body? Amethyst: Woah, woah, woah, have you been stretching yourself out all day? Steven: No! I was just... slouching. Greg: Why are you doing this? It... really isn't like you. Steven: Because, Dad, I can't stay a kid forever, when Connie grows up and becomes president what is that gonna make me? First Boy!? Amethyst: Steven, you can't just keep stretching forever. If you hold it too long, you could really hurt yourself. Steven: Yeah well, I'm half human so maybe it works different for me, we'll just have to wait and see, right? Greg: Steven...

Connie: That one's... "Canis helicopterus". Steven: Uh-uh, "Helicopterus"? Connie: Yeah, Dogcopter, get it? Now you make one up! Steven: Okay, um, That one's, uh, snake constellation. Connie: That's... pretty good. Are you okay? It looks like you're gonna throw up. Steven: Oh yeah, everything's fine!  Connie: Okay... that's good. You know, to be honest, I was a little worried before. This might sound silly, but I'm really glad that I'm going to get to grow up with you. Connie: ...Steven? Steven! What's going on? What happened? Connie: We were just talking then all of a sudden- Pearl: He turned back into a baby?! Connie: YES!

Keep Beach City Safe

DOGCOPTER 4: ALL DOGS GO TO WAR Jan 5 2016

Dogcopter 4 has finally been released! All Dogs Go to War!

I’ve been dying to see this movie for age, but I never had the time. I’ve been so busy with my blog and picking the perfect present for Steven. I’ve watched all the other Dogcopter Movies, but I haven’t had time to watch this one. But now I have a little free time to do something. After I watch it I won’t spoil it for the rest of you. I’m gonna be a Smart Spoiler and drop hints in my post for you guess. Only those who have watched it will notice the clues. Yep, watching it 9 times.

#Dogcopter 4 #Steven's Birthday Present #Dogcopter Movies #Smart Spoiler

Same Old World

Lapis: So, what does happen in Empire City? Steven: Well, let's see. If you lived here, you could get a cool apartment, and be a single Gem taking on the big city. You'll have a fun job at a local coffee shop and come home to a wacky roommate... Lapis: I have no idea what you're talking about. Steven: Awww.

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Steven: I'll take care of this! Kiki: Steven, be careful! Steven: Don't worry about me! Anything is possible when you have... rockets for bones! Kiki: Steven, that was so brave! Steven: Well, it's cheddar than nothing.

Steven: Oh, hey, Dogcopter. Dogcopter: (meows) Steven: See ya, dream Kiki! Kiki: Oh, okay. See you, dream Steven! Steven: Dream Steven!

Little Homeschool

Steven: Sadie's been touring with The Suspects, promoting their new album, and Connie has been getting a head start on college prep. She's two years away from applying, but she says it doesn't hurt to start early. Steven: And speaking of higher education, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and I have been cooking up a dream of our own! Cherry Quartz: I have no idea who you're talking about.

Snow Day

Amethyst: Guess what we've got lined up tonight. "Pupcopter's Sky-High Adventure"! Pearl: Sheet masks with cute animal faces! Garnet: And, most importantly, pizza. Steven: Uh, guys, I've been a vegetarian for, like, a month, and "Pupcopter" is for 6-year-olds, and I have my own skin care routine. Anyways, it's cool. I already ate.  Amethyst: Oh well. We'll just watch the movie with Cat Steven. Garnet: My bad. I was sure we were in the pepperoni timeline.

In Dreams

Dogcopter: (flies away) Stefan: Noooo!

Together Forever

Lion: (roars) Connie: Huh? Steven: Hey, Connie! How you doin'? Connie: Steven? What are you doing here? Steven: You're gonna have a fifteen-minute break in...two minutes, right? Connie: Whoa! Spot on. Steven: Connie, let's go for a walk. I'm sure you could use some fresh air. Connie: I would love to! But um... Steven: No, no, no! Don't worry! We'll go with Lion, and I promise you'll be back in fifteen minutes! Connie: Okay! Let's do this!

Growing Pains

Drew: I know you're eager to chase the mail truck, Dogcopter. But the mail truck is a decoy. Good boys chase the blue car. Be a good boy, Dogcopter. Drew: Nice work, DC! Now get the bomb off the bridge! We're almost out of time! Drew: Dogcopter! No! Drew: Dogcopter, I can't lose you. Drew: Is this... what I think it is?

Announcer: Dogcopter 6: Till Death Do We Bark: I Now Pronounce You Man And Woof! Steven: Everyone's getting married but me! Ugh! I feel like poop.

[riverboundao3ff]

Riverbound, Chapter 17

All in all, Lanque’s a whole lot calmer about the whole thing than you thought he’d be, which makes you feel better about going to him right away instead of Daraya. Of course you love Daraya, but knowing the kid she’d probably run off to start a fight with Bronya, Lynera, and any other poor bastard who gets in her way.

“I want to believe Bronya’s doing this because she thinks she’s in the right, but I just can’t… augh! I just… can’t believe she’d ask me to do something like that.” You conclude your messy rant by flopping down on the carpet. There’s a dull ache in your skull from either exhaustion or anxiety, possibly both.

Lanque’s looking down at you from the loveseat in the corner like the universe’s most judgemental therapist, sprawled across the whole thing with his gangly self. “You haven’t known her nearly as long as I have. You heard me say once that she’s the craziest bitch in the whole cloister. I meant it.”

You want to argue with him; Bronya isn’t crazy, just a control freak, but that’s gonna have to be a discussion for another time. “You’re not surprised at all by this? Not even a little?”

“Not surprised. Just… disappointed.”

“What, does she make you to sleep at certain times and check your palmhusk, too?” you joke.

“Not anymore, she doesn’t. She learned her lesson after I filled my whole camera roll with the spiciest nudes you can imagine.”

You try not to imagine anything of the sort and fail miserably. Your last brain cell hangs on for dear life. “So, uh… w-what should I tell her the next time we go out?”

“Tell her that I’ve been taking Daraya to a slam poetry club. We’ve actually done poetry in the past, so it’s not like you’ll be lying,” he says with a smirk. “You should come sometime. Talk to people about all sorts of controversial alien opinions. Maybe throw in some rhymes while you’re at it.”

“Alright,” you agree.

“... Darling?”

“Yes, babe?”

“Don’t breathe a word of this to Daraya. She’s stressed out enough as it is.”

“Of course not.”

“Good.”

:::

The next night you spend with Polypa, vandalizing stuff with the Heiress’s face on it and even setting a billboard on fire. It’s a lot of fun, but between vandalizations you can’t stop yourself from thinking about the girl herself. From what you can tell she’d be around seventeen in human years, which meant she’d soon have to challenge the Empress, as all the Heiresses before her did.

Some teenagers like to play video games, some like to sing or dance or do sports; you even know a few who live all by themselves on an island in the middle of the ocean who can shoot guns better than most military personnel. But not Trizza Tethis. No, she’ll be off to duel for the throne… and her life.

In your hearts of hearts you know that Tethis is a monster. There’s no doubt about it. But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s still just a kid, a kid who is going to be murdered soon for the crime of reaching adulthood.

It makes your heart hurt just thinking about that, and all of the other girls that came before her, and if this rebellion goes to shit all the girls who will come after her.

“Hey, Polypa?” you ask.

“Yeah?” She’s hanging upside-down on some broken piping while spraying THE REVOLUTION IS HERE on the side of a post office. You’re being a good moirail and keeping watch for anybody who might see her, even though it’s dark out and you can’t see much past the street lights lining the sidewalk. For some reason she refuses to tell you, she’s been in a mood ever since she came back from Tegiri’s, but you’re patient. You can wait for her.

“Do you ever wonder if Trizza might have been a good person if Alternia wasn’t the way it is?”

Polypa stops what she’s doing and stares down at you. “Honestly? I don’t really care how she might have turned out if things were different. All the things I’ve seen her do, the shit I’ve heard her say on social media… I just can’t bring myself to believe anything other than she’s one of the most horrible Heiresses Alternia’s ever had and that she deserves to die. Slowly and painfully, that is. And then she deserves to be forgotten.”

“That’s fair,” you tell her. “I dunno, I just kept thinking about how she’s supposed to go off and duel the Empress soon, and that she’s definitely not gonna win, because none of the fuschias who went up against her ever did.”

“... Does that make you sad?”

“It makes me sad that a kid is going to die, yes.”

She huffs. “Save your sympathy. She doesn’t deserve it.”

“Can trolls control who they sympathize with?”

“Of course we can. Can’t humans?”

You laugh. “No. Or at least I can’t. Empathy’s a blessing and a curse.”

Polypa chucks her spray-paint can into the nearby dumpster. “Empathy? Isn’t that like, feeling what other people are feeling? I thought that was just a myth.”

“Some humans can feel the emotions of others. I’ve always been able to.”

“That sucks.”

“Again, it’s a blessing and a curse.”

Polypa shudders, flips upright, and then drops down to the concrete. “If you say so. C’mon, let’s scram.”

You scram, or at least you try to before somebody bumps into you hard enough to nearly knock you over.

“Watch it!” Polypa hisses from somewhere behind you.

You look up at a boft looking (buff plus soft) rustblood guy, who flinches back when he accidentally looks you in the eye. “Sorry! Sorry. Bye.”

He shuffles off down the street, shoulders hunched in like he’s trying to make himself as small as possible even though he’s easily the biggest rust you’ve ever seen. Huh.

“Well, that was weird,” you say, and then you feel something crinkle in the hood of your jacket. Cautiously, you reach up and grab it, hoping that he didn’t just put a bomb on you or something. You aren’t that worried about dying, because you know your immortal ass is coming right on back, but if Polypa’s in the blast zone--

“It’s a piece of paper,” she says.

“Oh, yay. I thought it might be a bomb.”

“Definitely not a bomb.”

The paper’s been folded several times, so you smooth it out and read the letters that have been cut out and glued out in a note, like some kind of Nancy Drew shit.

“What the…” You read the message, and then you read it again, once, twice, thrice, four times before Polypa starts swatting at you and grabbing for the paper. You hand it over and stare out across the street.

You are not alone. Tomorrow at midnight.

“I’m texting the others,” Polypa mutters, shoving the paper into her pocket and whipping out her palmhusk.

“There’s more of us,” you whisper. “That’s what it means, right? We’re not the only faction out there fighting for-!”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, let’s not believe anything that some stranger wrote down on a piece of paper and shoved into your hoodie--”

“But he came to me, Polypa--”

“Hey!”

Both of you turn around to see some cerulean girl you don’t know storming across the street to you. “The fuck you think you gutterbloods are doing, huh?”

“The revolution is here, bitch,” you tell her, and you grab Polypa’s sleeve and zap away.

Polypa does not hesitate to smack you upside the head the second you two appear on the roof of some building downtown. “The hell was that? She just saw an alien and an oliveblood teleport out of an alley with fresh graffiti on the post office!”

“Who’s gonna believe her?” you snort.

“She’s a cerulean, she’ll make somebody believe her.”

“Dude. Chill. We still have time before things get crazy.”

“Apparently not! Tomorrow at midnight--”

“I know! Isn’t it great? What if it’s like, a big post on Chittr, or a public service announcement from God knows where saying that it’s time for bigots to start shitting their pants, because the revolution is here and it is sexy!”

“Augh!” Polypa throws up her hands. You start to get a little concerned. “Aren’t you scared? Like, at all? We could all die tomorrow and you’re just… totally fine! You disappear for half a sweep and come back ready to lead a revolution!”

Alright, it’s time to bring out the big guns. Slowly, so she has time to pull away if she wants, you step forward and reach up to caress her cheek.

The effect is instantaneous. She visibly loosens up from horns to toes, leaning forward into the contact with a low chirrup rising up from deep in her throat. If you were a troll, that sound would have probably made you pale-horny to the max, but you’re human so all you do is just stand up on your tippy-toes to press your foreheads together. You imagine pulling away all of her fear and stress and releasing it into the open sky, never to be seen again.

“We’re not going to die,” you tell her. “We’re just not. And if we were, I’d tell you, because dying isn’t that bad. Doesn’t even hurt, really.”

“... You’ve been dead before?”

“Yeah. Feels like the best fucking nap you’ve ever taken.”

She snorts hard enough for you to feel her breath across your face. “Only you would say something like that and be completely unbothered.”

“That’s just how it be sometimes,” you say, because joking about your trauma and having anxiety are basically your only two personality traits nowadays.

“I’ll write that down for the pile,” she says, because she’s always been able to see right through you, even when you can’t see yourself. “Which we’re going back to an abandoned apartment building to do once I yeet this glass bottle into that window over there.”

She picks up the broken glass bottle at your feet and proceeds to do just that. It sails through the air with all the majesty of an eagle and crashes through somebody’s office window. You know enough about troll romance by now to be a little scandalized by how forward she’s being, but you both know it’s out of necessity. Troll language is far from just verbal-- it’s flattened ears or bared fangs or dilated pupils. It’s hissing and chirping and growling and all sorts of sounds you don’t even know the names for, and you can’t even hear most of them because they’re either too low or too high a pitch for your human ears to catch.

“Hot damn, wildcat. You gonna take me out to dinner before you throw me down on somebody’s abandoned loungeplank?” you tease. Her face lights up in green, and you grin in satisfaction as she splutters something about saving it for the respiteblock.

You’re about to cook up something truly slutty to say when her palmhusk vibrates. Polypa reads it and snorts. “Aaaannnddd Daraya is losing her mind, Tagora says it’s a trap, Tyzias wants to know what the rustblood looked like, Stelsa is in agreement with Tagora, Lanque is asking how the hell it could be a trap when the rustblood didn’t even ask you to meet him anywhere, and Mallek is telling everybody to shut up so he can take a nap. Konyyl and Azdaja haven’t responded yet. I bet they’re making out in a back alley somewhere. Oh, Tagora is telling Lanque to shut his Troll Twilight-looking ass up before he fines him for wasting the rebellion’s time… and Tyzias just sent a bunch of hysterical laughing emojis.”

“I love my friends,” you say.

“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.”

“I’m gonna get Mallek to hack the server so whenever people start arguing over stupid stuff a bot starts spamming the chat with gifs of fighting purrbeasts.”

“Do group chats have servers?”

“I have no idea. Come on, I’m fucking freezing up here.”

:::

Your memories of growing up on Earth are fuzzy at best. You have no idea if it’s from Scratch, or Ultimate Dirk, or hell, maybe it’s just regular old brain damage, but one of the few things you can vividly remember is when your grandma died.

You can’t remember her name, but you can easily recall her eternally-smiling face, that smile that always reached her eyes-- hazel, like yours. She’s the one who taught you how to braid your hair, wing your eyeliner, ask out a crush. She also taught you how to take down a grown man with nothing but your fists and a pocketknife. Old age hadn’t ever been a problem for your grandma. Or at least, that’s what it felt like.

The morning your uncle found in her lifeless in bed hadn’t felt any different than all of the mornings before. You just woke up and started to get ready for school, and then your mom… yeah, it was your mom who picked up the phone. She didn’t cry, but your uncle did.

It was a heart attack.

Your mom told you that you didn’t have to go to school, but you were still pretty young, and it still felt like every other morning before so you went to school.

You’re not sure why you’re remembering this when you first smell the smoke, or see the burning buildings from the roof of the abandoned apartment building you and Polypa crashed in. Maybe it’s because it still feels like every other night before this one.

Something deep in you that’s been irreversibly interwoven with time and space begins to tingle. This is a turning point in history, you just know it.

Polypa’s shaking her head like she can’t believe what she’s seeing. “It’s a riot. A riot. In Thrashthrust. We really aren’t…”

“Alone,” you finish with a smile so big it hurts your face.

“... Do you think this is really the right thing to do?”

“A wise man from my planet once said that riots are the language of the unheard.” You turn to her and take her hands in your own. “So let’s make them hear us.”

You’re not sure what you were expecting when you drop yourself and Polypa into downtown Thrashthrust, but you definitely weren’t expecting to almost get run over by Konyyl and Azdaja, both panting, sweaty, and smelling faintly of smoke.

Konyyl yelps and jumps about a foot in the air. “WHAT the-- oh, hi, guys. You didn’t scare me, I just… yeah.”

“Dude, what is all this? This is incredible!” you crow.

An explosion rocks the ground, followed by a giant plume of fire that shoots up into the sky just one street over. Azdaja whoops in delight, and Konyyl cheers even louder as a piece of flaming metal you think used to be a scuttlebuggy sails through the air and takes out a convenience store. Normally, something like that would have worried you, but seeing as the store’s already nearly burnt to the ground you think everybody’s already gotten out.

Not to be outdone, Azdaja telekinetically grabs on to a fallen lamppost and hurls that bad boy through the grocery store across the street.

“Show-off,” Konyyl scoffs.

“Where’s the main protest?” you ask.

“Like, a couple of blocks back that way. Some bronzeblood is leading the charge. Absolute mad lad,” she says, grinning. “I think a few more people you know might be there.”

That’s all the convincing you need to grab Polypa’s hand and take off running. You can hear the roar of a crowd chanting something.

“What are they saying?” you ask Polypa.

“Be silent no longer, when we’re together, we’re stronger,” she replied, glancing back at you with a twinkle in her eye. “I kinda like it.”

“Me too!”

The both of you turn the corner at the end of Hookedclaw street and find yourself face-to-face with a sizable crowd of about one hundred trolls. They’re all looking up to a pair of trolls standing on an upturned scuttlebuggy-- a bronzeblood, like Konyyl said, and the same big rustblood guy who you ran into last night.

You gape in shock. “Holy shit!”

The bronzeblood boy is yelling something, so you press closer into the crowd to hear what he’s saying. Most of the trolls here seem to be lowbloods, so when they see you and Polypa, an oliveblood, they gladly make room for you to join.

“... for what? A social construction that keeps us divided, because those who sit on thrones marked with the blood of our people know how strong we are together! They know that we’d be able to take control of our own destinies, and that terrifies them!” He pauses to take a short breath. “For fuck’s sake, I just want a world where I can walk down the street without worrying about getting killed! Is the bar really that damn low? Think about that, all of you!”

Another wave of cheering echoes through the streets, and you join in without hesitation.

“This guy’s spitting straight facts,” Polypa admits, looking impressed.

“He’s got balls, all right,” you agree. “That rustblood guy look familiar to you?”

She ribs you. “Yeah, yeah, you were right. I admit it.”

You turn your attention back to the boys, but they’re looking over the heads of the protestors at something behind you. A soft wave of hisses rise into the air as you turn to see a trio of purples stalking towards everybody, clubs dragging behind them with the awful scrape of steel against concrete. They’re twice the size of Polypa, except the giant fucker in the middle, who you think might be just a little bit shorter than Chahut.

“That’s a pretty sermon there, bronze brother,” he calls with a voice that crackles like burning wood. “Pretty for a load of treasonous fuckin’ shit.”

“Can’t be shittier than whatever they’re cooking up in that drug-hole church of yours,” the bronzeblood fires back with a smirk.

Even the rustblood standing next to him sucks in a sharp breath as the clown regards him with no trace of emotion. Polypa grabs your hand, and you squeeze it tight.

“You’ve got a big-ass mouth for a critter the size of my motherfuckin’ left toe,” the clown on the big guy’s right says.

“And you’ve got a big-ass forehead for a bastard with such a tiny skull.”

Somebody lets out a loud snort. It might have been you.

The feeble tendrils of bravery holding everybody together begin to unravel as the purplebloods begin to approach once more. You instinctively back up and pull your jacket hood over your head.

“Get ready,” Polypa growls.

But before the clowns have the chance to attack or use their chucklevoodoos, or before the lowbloods gather their courage enough to storm the intruders, a deafening CRACK splits the air like a thunderclap.

The clown to the far left drops like a rock, and standing over him, bat raised, is Elwurd.

She’s wearing a mask to conceal her face, of course, but you’d recognize that crest of blue hair anywhere. Beside her is Remele with her oversized mallet-club thing, and bringing up the rear with shining dual blades is none other than Ardata Carmia.

“Am I fucking dreaming,” you ask nobody in particular, and then all hell breaks loose.

The cerulean girls lunge for the two purplebloods that are still on their feet. The bronzeblood screams for everybody to scatter just as drones begin to swoop down from the sky, opening fire on the trolls below. Half a dozen kids drop dead on the spot.

You and Polypa duck into the nearest alleyway just in time before bullet holes pepper the pavement. Behind you, Elwurd roars something that sounds like “Duck!” before another explosion blows out all the windows. You yelp and cover your head as glass showers down on you like rainfall.

“Zap us out of here!” Polypa yells.

“No, wait! We have to go help the girls!”

“I’m not going back out there and neither are you!”

You glance back just in time to see Ardata drop to her knees, holding her bloody arm. She’s shrieking in terror as a drone advances on her, culling fork glinting bone-white in the darkness. Remele and Elwurd are too busy getting their asses kicked by the last living clown to help.

In that moment you can’t remember her as the bloodthirsty murderer who tortured you in her basement. All you can think of is the time she broke down in your arms, overcome with guilt at the monster she’d become in the name of being accepted by highblood society. A monster who’d traumatized you, and then became your friend.

You’re moving through space and time before your brain can catch up to what you’re doing. Ardata is cold and hard when you tackle her out of the way of the drone. The two of you tumble across the street together as the culling fork hits the spot where Ardata just was with a SHUNK. Even with adrenaline racing through your system the sound chills you to the core.

Remembering what Dirk taught you about hand-to-hand combat with a larger opponent, you grab one of her knives and zap right over to the clown, getting right up in his business before burying the blade into an eye socket.

Unsurprisingly, he drops a squirming Remele and covers his face with a scream so horrible you almost pee your pants. Ardata’s wailing your name from the sidewalk like a terrified child. You want to yell at her to shut up and run before the drones spotted her again, but you never get the chance. One moment you’re twisting a knife into a purpleblood’s skull, the next you’re flying through the air like a ragdoll before a pair of strong arms wrap around you. You and your rescuer land hard on the street with matching grunts of pain.

You look up into Elwurd’s bewildered face and burst out laughing. “Hi!”

“What the--”

“Time to go!” Remele yanks the both of you up by your scruffs like a pair of naughty cats. “Ardata, stop screaming like a wiggler and get your arse over here now!”

“My arm!” Ardata screeches. “I’ll be scarred for life!”

“No, you won’t, idiot, not when you hit your adult molt-!”

You zap the three of them out of there and into the alley, grab Polypa on your way, and then get the hell out of dodge.

The five of you end up in the back of a Troll Dennys, because of course you do. Polypa falls on you, knocking you to the ground, and then she yowls in anger when Elwurd lands on her legs, only for Ardata and Remele to hit the concrete ass-first. Remele accidentally kicks you in the stomach. Ardata falls back against a dumpster and hits her head on the metal with a BANG.

Everybody stares at each other for a long moment with varying degrees and expressions of utter shock. Polypa glares at you, and you just know you’re in for a long discussion about putting your own safety first in dangerous situations, or something like that.

You decide to break the ice first. “Anybody want pancakes?”

[corkcitylibraries]

Ireland Reads | 10 BorrowBox Picks for Children and Young Adult Readers

by Jordan McCarthy

The Ireland Reads day offers the perfect opportunity for every kind of reader to celebrate the magical gift of reading. Regular readers, new readers and those who are about to rediscover the wonders and joys of reading, can enrich their lives during a time when our daily routines need it more than ever.

While our libraries may be closed, the online resource, BorrowBox, is one of the real gems being offered by libraries during lockdown. More and more readers are using the platform which has thousands upon thousands of wonderful eAudiobooks and eBooks.

And better yet, this online service, like all the others offered by Cork City Libraries, is free to all library members. If you haven’t yet joined, you can do this for free at www.librariesireland.ie/join-your-library.

Whatever we choose to read or listen to this month, we know that we are nourishing our health and wellbeing in doing so. The possibilities a good book – or magazine, comic, newspaper or whatever you choose to read - can bring to our lives are endless.

“If you don’t like to read, you haven’t found the right book.” – J.K. Rowling’

Below are ten of the top picks currently available on the Children’s and Young Adult section of BorrowBox. Like all great kids’ books, they will prove gripping and engaging for many adult readers, too.

So, squeeze in a read this month. You can find out more about the Ireland Reads initiative by visiting irelandreads.ie. And don’t forget to pledge your reading time!

  Long Way Down  by Jason Reynolds - Young Adult

(Available on eBook and eAudiobook)

‘‘Now

I’m wishing I would’ve

laughed more

at his dumb jokes

because the day

before yesterday,

Shawn was shot

and killed.’’

This remarkable Y.A. thriller is set over the course of 60 seconds. Written in lyrical, verse-like prose, it tells the tale of a revenge-seeking William, whose brother has been shot dead.

But when Will sets out to get his revenge, some ghosts from his past appear in the elevator on his way down to the ground floor.  Will he go ahead with his murderous plan?

There’s a sense of urgency in this fast-paced novel, though he soon realises; it is a ‘long way down’ from the 8th to the ground floor.

  Hero On A Bicycle by Shirley Hughes – Children (10+)

(Available on eBook and eAudiobook)

‘‘He stopped and slung his bicycle against a nearby wall to get his breath back and consider the situation. At that moment someone came up silently behind him and clapped a strong hand over his mouth.’’

Set in Florence, Italy during World War II, this is historical fiction at its finest. The Allies are closing in on Nazi-occupied Florence and 14 year-old Paolo has been taking secret bike rides late every night to beat the boredom of life under curfew. He misses his dad – an anti-Fascist who is in hiding - and rues the fact that he is too young to join the military.

However, when Paolo receives a frightening message on his way home from one of his late-night treks, he suddenly becomes involved in the thick of the action. Can he become the hero during his hometown’s greatest time of need?

This is an excellent novel, which captures one family’s struggles during war.

Not suitable for younger children, some upsetting themes.

   Zom-B; Underground  by Darren Shan – Young Adult

(eAudiobook)

‘‘Can you hold on to your humanity when you're a monster....’’

This fantasy-horror, dystopian novel by the ‘Master of Horror’ is book two in the Zom-B series.

B Smith is the main protagonist in this story, which is set during a zombie apocalypse. When she wakes up in a laboratory-style military camp, ‘B’ learns that she has become ‘Zom-B’.

Can she meet the demands of her captors or is she doomed?

Will she be a monster forever?

  The Dog Who Lost His Bark by  Eoin Colfer – Children

(eAudiobook)

‘‘In his short doggy life, Oz has suffered at the hands of BAD PEOPLE. Somewhere out there, he believes, is an AWESOME BOY – his BOY. Maybe when they find each other he will learn to BARK again ...’’

Patrick comes from a very musical family and he has wanted a pet dog for a very long time. When he rescues an abandoned puppy on his summer holidays, he calls him Oz, and so begins a strong friendship between a boy and a dog – at least that’s what we hope!

Oz is a nervous little creature and he can’t bark, or at least he doesn’t bark when he moves to his new home. Will he ever bark again? Maybe the musical family will be able to get him barking again!

This heart-warming children’s tale, from the creator of the Artemis Fowl series, shows how important music can be in the healing process.

  Rugby Spirit by Gerard Siggins - Children

(eAudiobook)

‘‘A new school, a new sport, an old mystery ... the first instalment in Gerard Siggins’ beloved and bestselling Rugby Spirit series.’’

Eoin Madden is the grandson of a legendary Irish rugby player. When he starts a new school in Dublin, leaving behind his GAA playing days in Tipperary, his rugby adventure begins.

In Casterock College, rugby is everything! But Eoin has never even held a rugby ball before. And the bully, Richie Duffy, is making his life even more difficult. Can Eoin make an impact in his very first season on a school rugby team?

This is one for fans of sport and fiction. It provides lots of insight into the game of rugby, too.

   Once by Morris Gleitzman – Children

(Available on eBook and eAudiobook)

‘‘Once I saved a girl called Zelda from a burning house.

Once I made a Nazi with toothache laugh.

My name is Felix.

This is my story.’’

Once is the first book in Morris Gleitzman’s Felix and Zelda series. Set during the Second World War, this novel is a tale of hope, friendship and survival.

Felix is in a Catholic orphanage in Poland in 1942. The son of Jewish booksellers, he fears that the Nazi’s are burning Jewish books and believes that his parents’ store could be next.

The young Jewish boy departs the orphanage, longing to find his mum and dad, and to warn them about the Nazis. Felix soon discovers that his hometown has changed utterly. A race for survival ensues.

Not suitable for younger, some upsetting themes

   Sabrina; Season Of the Witch by Sarah Rees-Brennan – Young Adult

(eAudiobook)

‘‘To be a witch is to kiss the moon.’’

Inspired by the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, this fantasy novel is a prequel to that Netflix series. It is the story of what went before the "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" show.

Sabrina is half-mortal, half-witch. Before she turns 16, and becomes full-powered, she realises how scared she is of joining the dark side and leaving her mortal life behind.

Can she discard her boyfriend Harvey, and her other mortal friends? This is her origin story; a spooky adventure for fans of the Sabrina series.

   Ultimate Football Heroes; Rashford  by M & T Oldfield - Children

(Available on eBook and eAudiobook)

‘‘When the referee blew his whistle, Marcus started his well-practiced penalty routine:

Four little shuffles to the left,

then short steps forward to try to fool the keeper, and then BANG!’’

The Ultimate Football Heroes series is a biographical story of the life of a star footballer. It charts the rise of some of world football’s biggest names, from the playground to the pitch.

Marcus Rashford is one of the most exciting players in the English Premier League. The Manchester United star has been one of the standout stories over the last year, with his campaign to keep free school meals available for children in the UK.

In Rashford, we learn about the life of Marcus – from when he would watch Man Utd playing on TV as a baby, to scoring important Champions League goals for the Red Devils.

A fast-paced story, full of action, it is one for all the family to enjoy. Others in the series include Kane and Delli Alli, which are available on BorrowBox.  

   Slam! You’re Gonna Wanna Hear This by Nikita Gill – Young Adult

(eBook)

‘‘Poetry is the language of Fire, Fury and Freedom,’’ says Nikita Gill.

Slam! is a collection of poems performed at ‘slams’, or spoken word competitions. It features established and emerging voices, with themes such as home, kin, protest and desire among those in the collection.

Slam! highlights the importance of poetry for the times we live in. It provides an ideal introduction into modern poetry and is a terrific publication.

   The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien – Children

(Available on eBook and eAudiobook)

‘‘In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.’’

J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic fantasy novel is the prequel to his Lord of the Rings saga. Tolkien wrote the story for his own children before it was published into a worldwide bestseller. First published over 80 years ago, it continues to be enjoyed by young and old.

This otherworldly tale features the hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, who has been recruited as a burglar by Gandalf for an epic quest. Expect trolls, goblins, dwarves, elves, giant spiders, and the dragon, Smaug, as Bilbo and the gang make their way across Middle Earth in search of treasure.

[kurou3gi-blog]

It means that an Arab acc ig supposed that Ji accepted jk because they were after the gay couple.Interesting to talk about it, because now that I remembered that a twitter account had something similar in 2019.And that the rumors about the gay couple had been strong since September 2018.But your anon has to remember that in order for Ji to save his ass and Ks's, he will lie about everything.I just find your attitudes strange these days.As if he had choked for years and wanted to speak the truth.

Tbh I know my thinking is more hell and overload every time XD  

And really knows that my words can harm, mess, lure even change someone mind.

That’s why after I say I had broken in to pieces, it hard to see I talk about exo before some anon ask me XD

And tried to warning everyone before below the content...

Like I say to other anons more than once that don’t forget that ji didn’t say anything about soo with him on his birthday at 2019. And that clip showed only soo and other happy birthday to ji... 

But are you sure it happened at 14th?

Are you sure everybody who we saw they met ji to happy birthday him were meet him at the same day?

Tbh his same cloth not guaranty that it happened on the same day, if we think of his hat-trick same cloth on soo’s early enlistment announcement period... That he went to met ravi, moon and went convenience store on different days in a row with same cloth..

That made some of us had doubted why he wore the same cloth!? XD

Tbh while I answered that previous anon I thought I may talk about why he kept but now he leaked...

But at last I was tired, so I chose to stop it than chose to spread more shade...

So if you want to know what I think why he leaked it....

Let’s go...

I think all of us and all of ekso knew about gay couple can ruin kr people life...

And It’s true...

But like we see some biggest movie pd could coming out with none of any effect because he is a one of big influencers in kr celluloid world... Everyone celebrated his wedding with his boyfriend at 60+ years old XD

So that mean if you have enough power or biggest back up... Gay issue can’t drag you down.... You will pass it even without any hurt...

And that why I used to say more than once that maybe they can coming out if they have enough power.

But like us and they knew... Gay couple issue will destroy their career if someone can unfolded them...

So... All of us think they were separated by some medias need to unfolded and esm tried to cover it....

But if we turn back to around late of 2015... When most of news medias trolled their a bit deep skinship moments on those award events pics at the same time...

Do you think it is just only accidental or willful by conspiracy term?

Tbh I still doubt since the event happened until now...

Why they all trolled those kind of pics to the world like need to say “We knew it!”

And if they knew it.... So, needed to tell esm about this for make money...

Then do you think how much esm must pay to these media?

But then...

If they already knew...

Why they wait until that time and tried to spread tea at the same time?

Even I think they knew it’s impossible to let’s esm pays a ton of money for their idols to them....

So...

They did it for what?

To tell esm for blackmail....

Or helped esm to press ji accept that kstal deal?

Or ......?

Then after those events, they didn’t trolled the combo pics like that again... - -”

To me it felt like a viral thing....

Happened and ended in one shot...

Full of doubt but I pretty sure I can’t clear it with 100%

Only doubt and doubt why blablabla but blablabla then blablabla? blablablabla...

More things since mid of 2015 until after kstal confirmed...  I felt like it make sense, none make sense and wthex at the same time....

But I only doubt and kept it inside because I think it’s hard to found the true answer...

So no need to try hard to clear it... Because I think we know something you should keep it in silence only...

Even you think it full of doubt an unfair thing, need more clear but no one answer you. So...

I think at first kd accepted about kstal issue with no doubt in esm’s decision...

But when it passed for a while... They have seen many things happen.... I think they started to doubt in what esm told them about their relationship issue effect...

The first thing that made me think like that is his ig live at late of 2018

But when I saw that his ig live that he shoot despite where the battery is running out. I think he know his battery is running out before shooing.  That why i full of question marks again with “he done ig live for what?”

And surprise to saw some comment under that ig live clip said his manager try to stop and said “rumor” before it end…

^^^Sorry if my parlance in these 2 paragraphs looks strange from others.... Because I copied and pasted 2 of them from my old content this.

And yes after I watched that live I felt like he need to tell us about the coming up of his dating issue...

Some of my questions in my head after saw it are... Why he did it? 

I think he knew if he trolled some of us can get his point... It’s mean we can see more analysis about how fake of jk...

Even at last ppl can feel only the girl’s delulu that beyond the truth. XD

Is it not make esm risk?

But like we see that none of it in surface except jk was confirmed...

Btw I still doubt why he chose to leak it... Not keep it in secret like it should be...

Even it looks like a viral ig live for kidding feeling than he did it for some result....

But maybe he need only someone get his trigger viral... Who knows...

Then if + cebu ig issues... That’s why I told that anon that this is not first time of his leakage on his ig...

Sometime I felt like he use his ig for testing some tricks... That it’s work or not...

For something in the future...

Ok back to main course again before I take you go far far away... XD

And these are why I think maybe they had doubted in esm words about gay couple effect...

But I think at first their doubt is only a sediment that waiting for the crystallization day...

The day that their last chain was broke...

I think if jk issue not coming up...

They may keep their doubt in silent until the last day....

But because of esm trolled jn issue to ji again...

Maybe that issue was an eruption starter...

To find the truth about their relationship effect...

It’s real right like what esm told them or not...

And someone need to unfolded them is true or not?

Ok back to 2015-2016 again....

All of us who are kdist may knew that because someone tried to unfolded them...

So the dating issue should coming up to cover that hole...

But in other way... Some of fx fc said at last esm chose crystal, not yo*na because crystal already had some rumors about her relationship with amber or some china rich man at the same time...

Do you feel familiar?

One of famous girl and boy idols have bad bad rumors at the same time...

Along with you start to see a bit hint about those girl and boy idols have secret relationship to each other at the same time...

I think at first no one notice about this coincidence...

But if it comes again with same movement...

Are you feeling you wondering?

Why it happened like god need to match them together...?

kstal and jk have a pretty same pattern from the start... But difference in a bit of details and time ending....

So I'm not surprised if they are aware of it and start not trusting esm.

They just accept that deal but not mean they absolutely surrender...

Some of my feelings about esm vs ekso since late of 2016 until now...

It’s feel like if you deceive me, I will deceive you back.

I touched a bit betrayal from them in sometime...

Then...

I think jd issue is ji’s last chain....

How esm lets jd announced about his wedding like a regret surprise made him knew maybe the things they told him not 100% truth...

The thing esm say because of it, so we just let you do it for save your life maybe it was only saved esm life. 

Even esm knew jd may too risked if he confessed that thing...

But esm lets jd do without any protect except gave more works to him like a reward...

And lets kr fan fight with ifan. No care ekso will 9 or not...

Because they no care at the started if we notice how lay can’t comeback with ekso anymore by cn gov and then by his schedule... But jackson g7 can come back with g7 all of times.... And lay at last came to kr to send soo enter the military....

So maybe what esm say to them is just only a scam...

Even someone unfolded them... Maybe it may nothing...

Do you remembered some reporter came out to say jk may fake?

I think it’s a good example to show him to know that if he leak something about their relationship...

Maybe it’s not too bad like esm say...

Then maybe jd issue let him to leak it....

That’s why I used to say that I felt like ji want to revenge and strike esm back with that updated.

Then why he waited until this time?

I think he always tries to find the time & way to leak it with good result.  And some of his ig leakage before that ig undated are good examples about this...

And why he chose this time...

I think because it’s a good time to leak it if we think of his situation now in the name of sperm member under cpt & esm’s arm....

+ gucci, fenti ambassador....

+ one of vogue’s adore children...

I think esm can’t do anything to hurt him for save their deal at least with those partners...

Then a one thing that maybe true...

Anon said : 

And as always, they are employees or former employees who sell information about idols. Only gay couples do not leak because magazines cannot publish because it is prohibited.

So....

If it’s true I think I no wonder if he wait until this time... It’s good chance to leak with take a bit effect or none of it...

+ How we sure ppl get attention, get notice or trust in our analysis about that ig updated? If you not interest in bxb life in girl’s vision...

+ I think ppl not care about what he say then and now. They focused only wow~ soo with ji...

I think most of ppl maybe not remembered what he say on that birthday ig live....

Then if they remembered.. So...?

Like we see kstal & jk was confirmed and ended with they were real and they are faked depend on each ppl vision...

So maybe he leaked it now because he a bit sure that maybe it may not hurt him much and no need to keep it in secret again if esm can unfolded their artist by themselves like what they did with jd issue...

And maybe this is a last test for make him sure before go to the next step...

Who knows....

But these are only my dumb brain cell’s overload....

So hope you enjoy reading... XD

And sorry if it wasted your time...

Tbh I need to talk with more clear...

But I don’t know how to explain some idea from th to eng.

Sorry....

[brandonviewpoint]

In the Americas to stand stronger than before then people need to recognize this the American plague God-bless America and God-bless the freedoms that we have thanks for United States military.

A heinous act was performed on this day one that has never been forgotten 1 that will live forever in our memories as 2 planes took out 2 tower standing in New York City the home the place the death toll rises and to this day we still fight to help the survivors of 911 but the biggest message I can send across America and throughout the country is

If we're going to keep America great we need to keep the America we know the American dream the American civil liberties the American values winning to stand United against a vision hate bullying anti-Semetic remarks and the straight honest truth is as we need to stand as one to show unity for all a quality for all.

It shouldn't matter your color your skin time for your ethnic origin or even the fact that you bleed red every time somebody stabbed you it trolling matter leave to have a quality that you won't to accept things that are all equal and life love and liberty we need to seek Justice we need to stop fighting for injustice and start fighting for Justice the plain and simple fact is is it nothing is fare unless we fight for it and the best way to fight for it is to speak out against it people of light to us the democrats have been the biggest liars of them all.

And to this day I still wonder how true the 911 is and who was in on it was Joe Biden part of the 911 action did he push a button and say something wrong was president Bush in on it was he lying to the American people will never know the truth not as long as the government continues to cover up the facts and not let out the truth..

I stand for America I stand for equality I stand for equal Justice under the law I stand for the rights of millions of Americans I stand for the rights of my fellow brothers and sisters who died in the 911 attack for most of all a stand for the people not for the government I stand for the people because it matters a central people cause they're speaking out against 8 there speaking out against racism and as long as we allow the democrats to continue to promote their racist attitude on TV we will never have Justice we will always have the injustice the unfair Justice the 2 levels of Justice except now they want to go by race.

If 911 means anything to anybody out there when this message needs to be spread across Facebook Instagram anywhere you can reach and you need to make sure that your local leaders know that racism is no longer good majority it's the minority they need to stop spreading hate they need to stop using race as a way to make votes and the needs for easing common sense and unite the people show equality for all not just some but all people.

We never forgot you will never forget and 911 will be A-day will never relive again if we stand together United and equality for all.

It's time for the rioting in the streets the looting of the businesses and the hatred being spread across this country from certain people in the government to stop as sound to come together and face our problem is time to stop blaming each other and start looking at the solution as time for people who wanted use Res to be voted out of office and try to put other people in its place the lies the deep the disinformation act no longer works on us it's the truth.

It's the truth for all America it's the truth and Justice for all people its the in quality the D selectiveness of all people we need to stop using the race card as a way to win votes and start using the conversation it stopped the sanction of one race and start the United of all people it's the stop of hate the stop of inequality the stop of inhumanity that needs to be called out and what you don't represent is what you don't believe in and .

I believe in love peace harmony equality and Justice for all.

AMEN!!

[elizabethemerald]

Tronos Madu, Savior of Earth

After finishing 3Below Season 2 I couldn’t help but feel like everyone’s favorite Sparky Boi deserved a far better fate than what he received. He saved the Earth by powering the laser. He chose to put aside his own vengeance to save a planet from a fate similar to the one his own planet suffered from. 

“Welcome back to Earth, Queen Aja.” 

As Queen Aja exited the portal Varvatos and Zadra immediately flanked her. The welcome patrol waited on the other side of the portal. Aja smiled at them and waved. One of the soldiers approached. 

“How has Akiridion been?” The soldier asked. 

“Akiridion-5 was lively as ever.” Aja replied. “How about Earth Sergeant Costas?”

“You may not have heard, it’s Colonel now.” Costas said. 

“Oh?” Aja asked. Despite her studies on the Earth’s culture there was still a lot she was confused about, including the military ranks. 

“Yeah. There was an...uh opening. And I knew the job.” Colonel Costas said. He watched Aja’s two protectors carefully observe the area. “Is there some threat you are worried about?”

“Unfortunately we have had some problems with bounty hunters. They apparently haven’t gotten the message that Morando is dead and won’t be paying up. On Akiridion I am protected, but Earth is a little more risky. The commanders feel it is best if they personally oversee my safety. My brother is protected by the Trollhunters, their magic has few equals.”

Varvatos glared around while Zadra adjusted her scythe, her red boots standing out against her blue form. Several humans walked up carrying boxes of varying sizes. Aja sighed mentally, but didn’t let her smile slip from her face. Several nations across the planet insisted on sending her cultural items, trying to curry royal favor. The palace was already filling up with the items. If they just wanted her to have the art work it would be different but the “gifts” never came without a price tag. 

Colonel Costas continued talking about things on Earth while Aja accepted the gifts. Apparently they were having trouble with wizards now of all things. Some of the things were quite beautiful. Her retinue made careful note of the items as well as the notes that invariably came with them. She held up a beautiful, delicate piece of pottery. 

“By the way, have you heard from Tronos Madu? I keep expecting him to reach out to me.” Aja asked. She had been waiting ever since she had taken the throne for the Voltaran to come to her for her promise of help. 

“Who?” Costas asked. 

“The Sparky lifeform that assisted you and Kubritz? He helped us power the mid range laser?”

“Oh.” Costas looked aside. Aja was confused by his hesitation, she held the delicate pot in two of her hands, her lower two hands placed on her hips. “He…died.”

“How?” Aja gripped the pot tightly. 

“Morando killed him when he arrived on Earth. He said it was the price of failing to capture you and your brother.”

The pot shattered in Aja’s hands. She dropped the pieces without looking at them. Both Varvatos and Zadra were immediately at her side, waving the rest of the humans away. 

“What become of his remains?” Aja’s voice was cold as ice. 

“I believe they are still under research at area 49-B.” Costas said. 

Aja immediately turned away and began giving orders. “Zadra call for my ship. And a squadron of strikers.”

“My queen I am not sure what you intend, but you are risking a interplanetary incident.” Zadra cautioned. 

“Tronos was a hero of this planet. Without him, destroying the meteor would have been impossible. He saved every life in this country and many throughout the rest of the planet. Not only that but he saved my life and my brother’s life. He deserves to be honored as a hero not left as science experiment in the facility that held him captive.”

“Your majesty, I no longer have access to the information from 49-B, but I can call them and try to convince to return his armor and core. I’m afraid Kubritz’ replacement shares many of her views.” Costas said. 

Aja nodded then turned away. The portal behind her was opening larger and larger, to make room for her royal ship and the strikers. She activated her holographic communicator. It was only a moment later that a familiar voice answered. 

“Aja! Are you already done with the formalities of your visit?”

“Krel I need you to bring your friends and meet me at 49-B.”

Aja knew her rage showed clearly on her voice. Krel didn’t have any friendly quips or jokes to make. 

“Should we be ready to fight?” Was all he said. 

“I don’t want to, but I will if I have to.”

“We’ll be there.” Krel said. 

Aja ended the communication. Her ship was slowly emerging from the portal, the strikers emerging around it to protect the royal ship. As soon as her ship was fully through the portal she boarded with her two protectors. They set a course immediately for 49-B. The flight only took a few minutes. Aja addressed her advisor before they landed. 

“Please get in contact with the human authority. I believe we are looking for a president." She said. 

Area 49-B wasn't expecting them, but they were still a military base. As they approached Aja could see troops running around with their Neurometer blasters, including the truck mounted cannons. And to Aja's surprise the mid range laser canon Krel had built. 

Aja ordered the strikers to spread out. Krel's laser was the biggest threat, but she doubted they would get a chance to fire twice. 

The royal ship set down briefly, allowing Aja, Vex, Zadra and the rest of her personal guard to disembark. The ship was more mobile in the air. 

As they walked towards the base Aja felt a chill run down her spine. With a series of resounding cracks black portals opened up around them. Vex and Zadra tensed as shadows started to pour out of the portals. They relaxed when the Trollhunter Jim of Lakes stepped out, his armor already in place. 

Following right behind Jim came Claire the city council princess. Her cloak billowed as darkness pour out of it protecting the trolls as more and more emerged from the portals. The trolls were all garbed for battle. Toby emerged next, his hammer blazing and his armor in place. 

Krel was the next person out of the portal. He had his serrator in hand, and an assortment of gadgets attached to his belt. He immediately walked up to his sister. 

“What’s this about Aja?” He whispered. 

“Tronos Madu, who was personally responsible for saving this planet was killed here by the Usurper Morando.” Aja spoke loud enough for all of the gathered forces to hear. Including the soldiers gathered on the walls of the base. “His remains have been kept here. I aim to remove them so that he might be properly interned as a hero deserves.”

“If you don’t leave we will be forced to fire upon you!” Shouted someone from the base. 

Aja ignored him. Instead she opened up her communicator. She listened for a few moments, then nodded to Krel. He opened up a screen and tapped away quickly for a few seconds with his four hands. Suddenly a woman’s voice echoed across the space, magnified by the speakers in the base and on the ships over head. 

“This is the President of the United States. I have been told you have an army outside the gates of US military base. What is it you plan to do?” She said. 

“I am Queen Aja, of House Tarron, Queen of Akiridion-5. Area 49-B has been used to house and torture captured sentient life-beings. Its continued existence is a crime against everything civilized cultures stand for.”

“Your Majesty-” She started. 

“Madam President. The atrocities your species commit against your own kind and those of your planet are your own business. But I will not allow such atrocities to be committed against life-beings of other planets, regardless of whether they fall under the rule of the Akiridion Throne. Area 49-B must be emptied and destroyed. The remains of the life-beings who had been held there will be returned to their various planets for internment as needed according to their cultures.”

Aja’s friends looked impressed. Krel smiled at her. This is why she was Queen. She could not stand by and allow this to continue. The President was speaking again. 

“I understand your concern Queen Aja. It will take some time to comply with your wishes.”

“Nonsense. My forces will deliver the humans to closest settlement of your species. The Taylon Phalanx will sweep the buildings to ensure that no one is inside, and remove the remains. Then my strikers will be able finish removing the structures that have been used as prisons.”

The President was silent for a moment. She seemed to be consulting with someone, perhaps her own advisors. Finally she spoke again. 

“Very well, Queen Aja. I only ask that you please be sure that no lives are harmed.” Aja smiled at the request. She knew she had the humans in a barrel as they say. Akiridion-5 was trading openly with the countries of the world, sharing their technology. And if that trade dried up? She also had another barrel to put the humans in and one more demand. 

“Terms accepted.” Aja said. “And I have another request for you. I am sure that 49-B is not the only such facility in this country or on this planet. I would strongly recommend you communicate with your fellow world leaders. Any remains should be returned to the Akiridion embassy and the facilities closed. The continued holding of prisoners who belong to other planets can only be seen as a declaration of war against the Throne of Akiridion.”

There was another moment of silence before the president said, “I will pass it on to the other world leaders.”

Aja ended the call. She was half afraid that the humans would insist on fighting. But the soldiers one by one put down their weapons. She smiled grimly. Now it was time to get to work. 

The trolls and her Taylon forces quickly made their way through the base. Any humans were escorted out and loaded into their trucks. They found remains from several different species, including several trolls and goblins. In this facility there were no more captives held alive, though there was evidence of many that had been held here. 

Jim and Krel personally delivered Tronos’ mask to Queen Aja, they formed an honor guard for the fallen Voltaran. Aja held the mask, pressing her face to it. Tronos deserved better than this. She remembered her promise to him. That she would strive to be better than her parents. This was her honoring that promise, making sure that no more life-beings were hurt by humans of this planet. 

When the facility was clear, Aja stood at the command bridge of her ship. The humans were being escorted to the nearest town by two strikers. Aja’s close friends stood with her on the ship. Jim, Toby, Claire and Krel all looked at the facility below them. Claire had opened portals to allow the trolls to return home.

Aja nodded to Zadra, who passed on the order to the rest of her squadron. The squadron formed into a bombing run, lining up, firing on the base. The place where Buster had been held, where Stuart had been held and escaped from, where Tronos had been held and killed by Morando. This was where Kubritz had wanted to disect her and her brother. Her grim smile remained as the buildings exploded and collapsed. 

When it was time to move on from the smoldering remains, Aja gave the command to return to Arcadia. She would meet with the human authorities later to make sure that everyone understood the position she was taking. But for now there was something left to do. 

The memorial in Arcadia was unfortunately a growing affair. Between the war during the Eternal Night and Morando’s invasion, the small town of Arcadia had suffered a lot. The memorial park had names carved for trolls who fell to Gunmar’s invasion, including those taken under his control. It had the names of the humans who died fighting when the war came to the surface world. It also had those who perished during Morando’s fusion with Gaylen’s core. In the center of the memorial park was the statue for the fallen heroes. Draal the Deadly, Vendel the Wise, and Angor Rot each had a placard. As well as her parents King Fialkov and Queen Coranda, Mother and Buster each had a plaque. 

Aja set Tronos’ helmet on the memorial. Claire came up and put her hand on Aja’s shoulder her eyes glowing purple. The stone of the memorial opened, allowing the mask to sink in. Claire waved her hand and the stone sealed itself over the mask, and a stone plaque emerged. 

Aja put all four of her hands on the stone, her head bowed. Behind her the other’s bowed their heads as well. Jim, still surrounded by a shadow Claire was generating, knelt his sword, point down held in front of him. Toby followed suit with his hammer, Krel put two of his hands on his sister’s back and the other two on the stone. 

“Tronos Madu

Son of Voltar

Betrayed by the Unsurper

Savier of Earth”

[femmetrolls]

alternate planet headcanons

so, everyone obviously knows that, after the Summoner’s Rebellion™, alternia was decentralized and all adults were exiled off-planet to become a part of the imperial military. however, the mspa wiki states that individual planets have “considerable autonomy,” and each planet is governs itself via loyal highbloods.

with this information, i have a headcanon that there are still planets with adult trolls living on them (and likely with young trolls as well). i’ll break my thoughts up about these alternate planets into bullet points so it’s a little easier to understand.

2 categories of planets exist: capital and secondary

capital planets are almost always exclusively children and contain a higher concentration of mother grubs. this is where the military gets recruits from. alternia is an example of this.

secondary planets have smaller populations with a mix of adults and children, with various measures to keep them in line (higher military presence, more drone activity, etc.)

it’s very common for planets with adults living on them to have their populations relocated to other planets, the military to come and stomp out the activity, or even the planet completely destroyed if it appears a revolution might happen

even on these planets, certain things remain the same: lusii are the primary caregivers, the caste system is the basis for power, “undesirables” are encouraged to be killed early on, etc.

the only interplanetary communication allowed is between leaders and the empire and propaganda that the empire broadcasts. it is nearly impossible to escape off-planet or really communicate with other planets due to the safeguards put in place

despite all this, it is possible for planets to exist that are more lax on these things. for example, limebloods could conceivably exist somewhat openly on a planet whose rulers are less concerned with them. or it’s possible that a lowblood on one planet could live a more successful life for the same reason. this is very uncommon, however.

it also means that a troll could be born on a planet that is extremely rigid and makes life horrific for the lowest castes. it’s all up to luck.

there are only a few ways to be allowed off-planet: a) join the military, b) work with a smuggler, or c) the empire itself summons you

the climates can vary wildly, and this is another reason it is difficult to make it off-planet. this can also mean that, over time, trolls adopt varying features to better suit the planet they live on (ex. more fur, scalier features, more cold-blooded/hot-blooded on average, different teeth)

i’ll admit that my biggest motivation for this was to justify having a caste of adult trolls, then i got super into the idea of other planets. maybe this will be interesting/useful to other fantroll blogs, who knows?

i will add stuff as i think of it, and you are free to add your ideas here as well. i love hearing what others think about this!

[burntcopper]

Top Ten (ish) theatre of 2019

Box of Delights (Wiltons) Matilda (Cambridge) Edward II (Globe) Pirates of Penzance (wiltons) Richard II (Globe) Romeo and Juliet (Globe) Macbeth (Watermill) All my Sons (Old vic) Swan Lake (Bourne) Small Island (NT) Death of a Salesman (Young Vic) Emilia (Vaudeville) A Midsummer Night's Dream (Bridge) As You Like It (Rain or Shine) Merry Wives of Windsor (Globe) Present Laughter (Old Vic) Peter Gynt (NT) *endless screaming* *left at 2nd interval* The End of History (Royal Court) A Midsummer Night's Dream (Bridge) Henry IV part 1 (Globe) Henry IV part 2 (Globe) Henry V (Globe) A Midsummer Night's Dream (Regents Park) A Midsummer Night's Dream (globe) As You Like It (globe) Romeo and Juliet (Bourne) Tree (Young Vic) Dada Masilo's Giselle (Sadler's Wells) Lungs (Old Vic) The Antipodes (NT) The Wind in the Willows (Rain or Shine) Fairview (Young Vic) Teenage Dick (Donmar)

Best... however many?  Which, er are 99% Shakespeare?

Richard II at the Globe was glorious and golden with a way of bringing out the words and just damn good acting. All female, all WoC, with an emphasis on them all wearing the clothes of their ancestors and changing depending on class of character.  And one of those endings of 'fuuuuuck' as the entire stage became the English flag as a banner of red fell from the ceiling in a bang.

Swan Lake (Bourne) - My happy place of swans and insecure princes falling in love with each other and gauche royal girlfriends who get more adorable with each production. Always cheer the corgi.

Small Island (NT) music and fabulous use of a giant stage to show off the tiny horrible minutiae of racism in England and dreams and love not being what you think and using people to get away.

A Midsummer Night's Dream (Bridge) WE WILL BE GAY AND WE WILL DANCE TO BEYONCÉ AND BE BITCHY AND BE MORE GAY THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY THINK. We're going to swap Titania and Oberon so he can fall in love with Bottom but the problem is Bottom's only really interested in a one night stand. And the lovers are very bisexual and Puck is bitchy and Mancunian and the fairies are on silks and Gwendolyn Christie will be glorious and regal and the competition for the acting job will go full X-Factor while the previously tyrannical Theseus falls totally in love with theatre and the mechanicals'll nick your phone and take a selfie and we're going to cover the groundlings in a giant rainbow flag and send out a giant inflatable moon for us to bounce around while we dance to Beyoncé.

Present Laughter (Old Vic) Andrew Scott is being world weary, full-on channelling Noel Coward and going full drama queen. Indira Varma is here to deliver fabulous put-downs whilst wearing amazing outfits. We've also gone very bisexual. Bonus slutty tux wearing Enzo Cilenti.

Henry IV and V (Globe) all day Henries! By the time Henry V came round the groundlings and actors had gone a wee bit loopy so they and we were giggling at every other line in the prologue. Henry IVs - Falstaff! Falstaff that nicked anyone within reach's beer and cider (and yes, was drinking it!). Changing clothes onstage so you had some beautiful, strangely affecting moments where Henry IV changed into or out of Doll Tearsheet - a speech would become Henry psyching himself up as he removed his makeup, with scenes overlapping. All the genderblind, Sarah Amankwah as Harry not as psycho as some Harrys (looking at you, Jude Law) and not as inspiring as others (of course I'm bloody talking about Jamie Parker) but resolute and forthright and driven. Henry V was not quite as impressive in my memory but I did get bonus handful of chewed up leek.

A Midsummer Night's Dream (Globe) - all carnival, all fun. Half the reason Demetrius dumped Helena is because she's so aggressive - he's actually scared of her. Lysander croons soul music constantly. Oberon's an old queen and Bottom truly loves herself, and we totally understand why Quince desperately wants to throttle her. Totally justified. This production goes full audience participation, getting a member of the audience to play one of the rude mechanicals along with the usual Globe party and groundlings. This production has the unique selling point that *everyone* is Puck - all the cast plays them at some point in a t-shirt with 'Puck' spray-painted on it and a pair of deely boppers - with them often only doing half a scene and another taking over. Which came to its awesome fruition of them all blowdarting the others to get to do the next line of Puck's final speech. (blowdarts established as Oberon's way of sending people to sleep) Plus Hippolyta runs off with Bottom.

As You Like It (Globe) Return of last year's production, complete with genderswapped and genderqueer Orlando (Bettrys Jones) and Rosalind (Jack Laskey) and deaf Celia (Nadia Nadarajah) and Jacques (Sophie Stone), more genderblind casting for the others, more genderqueer, more signing, the Duke's now at least partially deaf and hiding it, and James Garnon's playing Touchstone and I may possibly be in seventh heaven. He signs almost constantly out of reflex from years of being around Celia, and will get into gesture fights with bearded members of the audience in the gallery, as well as being really quite possessive and attached to Audrey after a while. With added bonus of military helicopters going over just as Celia and Rosalind are discussing how the court's getting more hostile and Rosalind gesturing 'see?'. Sophie Stone as Jacques is possibly the most sad (and mournful) Jacques I've seen, her deafness closing her off from society and being hurt by it as the court hurt her carelessly with thoughtlessness (she only signs when she knows someone)

Teenage Dick (Donmar) I was really regretting booking this. Richard III rewritten for American high school where Richard is running for school council? US High School politics and world has been done to death, for fucks sake, and it's so screwed up and alien it's ridiculous. However. This is hysterical, Richard weaponises his disability (hemoplegia in this case), it's constrated with Buck's experience of being in a wheelchair where she's quite happy with her lot - pointing out the difference in lived experiences - Susie Wokoma as the teacher who's desperate not to give offence but constantly putting her foot in it. Anne's role is greatly expanded and she's given her own story and wants separate from politics, with a quite brilliant dance sequence with Richard. Biggest bonus points, however, are how Richard has a habit of dropping into Shakespearean and everyone thinks he's a weirdo for it. Speeches to the audience? Buck: 'He's gone again.'

'Fuck off, keep fucking off, and fuck off again, you're boring and tiresome and self-involved and why the fuck should I care about you?' Award:

Peter Gynt (NT) reworked Peer Gynt. Oh god it's Ibsen. Why did I book this. WHY. Peer Gynt is now Scots, makes up stories that all come from old films, everyone knows it. there's random musical scenes that Do. Not. Work. The trolls are full on Bullingdon Club in pig masks, WE GET IT, the love interest he left behind wants more than this provincial life, random shagging, and second act he gets rich, goes full Trump, there's rich people conferences in the desert and fake cults and OH DO FUCK OFF YOU'RE TIRED AND HEAVYHANDED AND NONE OF THIS IS INSIGHTFUL. This gets the award of only the second play I've left at the second interval.

[fialleril]

Following this post (months later because this got buried in my drafts lol), here’s some other things that are going to take DAV Anakin a lot of getting used to in the post-Empire galaxy:

The concept of regular time off. Not leave time, or the kind of spy “vacations” he and Kadee used to joke about, but just…leaving work at work and relaxing because…well, because he can. Not to recharge for the next mission, or to search for the will of the Force, or even for medical procedures. (“That’s what sick leave is for,” Leia tells him, more than once. “You have medical leave, and you have vacation time, and you have personal time. You can take time to just relax.”)

Having a salary. It’s not that Anakin doesn’t understand money. He used to do inventory for Watto and of course there’s a lot of accounting that goes into a war, so he’s actually quite good on that front. It’s just…never been his money before. He’s not quite sure what to do with it, after all the medical expenses and the food expenses and all the other necessities he hasn’t had to think about before are taken care of, and there’s still money left over. And it’s…a lot of money? Mainly because Leia insisted that the Republic would pay him at the same rate as its top military brass, which he still thinks is excessive, but every time he says that she glowers like she’s going to bring Palpatine back to life and then slowly murder him all over again with the strength of her eyes alone.

There are…a lot of choices. Choices for absolutely everything, even absurdly minor things like toothbrushes and laundry detergent. Choices are good, Anakin likes choices, sometimes they’re even exciting, but…sometimes capitalism is just exhausting.

Seriously, that salary thing. “They’re paying me more in one year than I’m worth at auction!” he snaps once in a frustrated thoughtless moment, and it will be years yet before he fully understands why Luke and Leia are so upset.

Saying no to a superior is actually an option now. If Mon Mothma asks if he’s available to cover a mission, and he says no, she’ll find someone else. Sometimes (okay, most of the time) she still has to place a strong emphasis on “if you’re available,” and sometimes she even has to remind him that he can say no. But she does remind him.

It’s not that he ever misses the damn mask, but sometimes he does kind of...forget that people can see his face now. That when he rolls his eyes during one of Admiral Brennan’s endless monologues, that’s not invisible anymore. (In fact, it takes him longer than it probably should to remember this consistently, and in the meantime Anakin’s array of snarky expressions during meetings become infamous among the rank and file of the Republic military and even many of the political staff. Simply put, there are memes. Intern Jan passes on the day’s schedule to Intern Marvash, who responds with a gif of Anakin miming slow death by boredom. It’s tagged #same.)

Sometimes, people flirt with him. This is not something Anakin’s ever actually had to deal with before - people generally respected Jedi vows under the Republic, and no one would ever have attempted to flirt with Darth Vader. Of course he did flirt with Padme, but that was always mutual and both of them were pretty earnest and direct people. It’s now been twenty years, four limbs, and full body third degree burns since Anakin even considered any of this, and the truth is, he wouldn’t consider it now, if not for Han directly pointing it out to him every time someone makes a pass at him. And, tbqh, for the longest time he thinks that Han is just trolling him. It takes Leia backing Han up to finally convince him that, okay, maybe the woman who wrote her com number on his napkin is interested. For some reason. He still can’t figure out why she would be. Leia and Luke, and even Han, look a little uncomfortable and oddly...sad?...when he says that, but they don’t really press.

Apparently, you need a permit for everything. This is also not something Anakin’s had to deal with before. “Jedi business” was pretty much carte blanche under the old Republic for everything from ignoring speed limits, to disregarding traffic controllers, to remaining blissfully unconcerned with trespassing ordinances. Darth Vader was accountable to his Master, often painfully so, but no one else was going to press him on the finer points of Coruscant traffic law. But now he needs a license to operate a speeder, and he has to pass a test to get that license. Anakin finds the test itself almost insulting, and Luke laughs at him for much longer than necessary. He cuts off abruptly, though, when Anakin points out that his Tatooine-raised Rebel pilot son also doesn’t have a proper Core World license.

Democracy. Democracy looks very different when you’re actually participating in it. Tatooine is a fully fledged member state of the Republic now, no longer a colony world. Change is still slow, though, and centuries of history don’t just disappear. But for the first time in his life, Anakin is a citizen. He and Luke cast their first ever ballots to elect Imer Moonspinner as Tatooine’s first ever senator. And, okay, maybe he helps the freedom network by calling in a few favors with a few contacts who take the necessary steps to ensure that the Hutts’ thugs won’t be able to prevent all of the newly freed people from voting, but that’s just...safeguarding democracy. He’s pretty sure that’s what Padme would call it. Leia approves, anyway, and that’s good enough for him. And when Imer wins the election and Anakin and Luke are there at her victory celebration, watching Kitster whirl her through the air as everyone around them laughs and cries at once, it feels...good. Like maybe they can actually change things. Of course, it’ll probably be only a few weeks before Imer is commiserating with Leia and Pooja about the still-all-too-corrupt Senate, but for now, the voice of the people has overpowered that of the Hutts, and that’s something to celebrate.

And maybe the biggest change of all: Anakin has a family, a surprisingly large family actually, and he doesn’t have to hide that from anyone anymore. There’s no law against him having a family, and no Master to threaten anyone he knows Anakin cares about. He can (and does) proudly talk to anyone about his amazing children Luke and Leia. He can reconnect with his brother Kitster and get to know Imer and their children. He can start to rebuild a relationship with the Naberries (Pooja first, probably). After a bit of rebuilding with Ahsoka, too, he can finally call her his sister and not have it feel like an immense terrible forbidden secret.

The first time he tells Mon Mothma he won’t be available for a mission because he already has plans with his family, she actually grins at him. It’s the largest smile he’s ever seen on her. “Good,” she says brusquely. “I’ll find someone else then. Enjoy your weekend with the family, Anakin.”

[klbloodx]

HLS Chapter 4 - 2027.2.12 Niansi

(Source: net)

It was nine o'clock the next day when Xiao Nanzhu finally woke up.

He rubbed the side of his head as he walked out of the bedroom with his brain still groggy and slow. His eyebrows scrunched together tightly.

Humans unconsciously relax once they are no longer in a harsh environment. Even though Xiao Nanzhu had been used to military life before, those overwhelming scenes and words that were enough to turn a person’s views upside down on that night rendered him unable to think.

His phone showed two missed calls from Situ Zhang. He tucked his phone in between his neck and shoulder to return the call as he walked towards the kitchen. As he came up to the refrigerator, he stopped his steps abruptly when he suddenly remembered the strange old Huangli that he stashed in the refrigerator.

“Hey, so you’re finally awake?”

Situ Zhang's sluggish voice resounded on the other end of the phone. Xiao Nanzhu replied with a soft “en” as he absentmindedly raised a finger and held the refrigerator door. His mind was still going over what happened last night——this ghostly matter could not be mentioned to others. Even if he talked about it, they certainly would not believe him.

“Why are you calling me in the morning?” Xiao Nanzhu asked flatly. He was preoccupied with the refrigerator in front of him at the moment, but he still managed to spare some of his attention to chat with Situ Zhang. Upon hearing him, Situ Zhang let out a sigh and spoke in an awkward manner.

“I say, how could your memories be so bad when you’re still young? Didn't I tell you just yesterday? I promised to help you find a job after the New Year, remember? I know a lot of people——surely there’s a way if we ask around, but you have to promise me to accompany me for a few meals in the next few days. These things can only be discussed over the table, you know? You can’t do as you wish like you used to, Xiao Nanzhu…”

Situ Zhang was nagging him non-stop like an old mother, but Xiao Nanzhu knew he had good intentions, so he didn’t interrupt him. In actuality, however, Xiao Nanzhu was not the kind of person who could make friends and call them bros after a round of drinks. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been an outcast in the army and ended up in such an awkward situation.

Likewise, knowing fairly well about his temper and personality, Situ Zhang understood the difficulties that Xiao Nanzhu faced and tried to deliver his message patiently. He even considered Xiao Nanzhu’s “face” and contacted him without waiting for him to ask him for help——this heart of his was very precious.

As he thought to himself, Xiao Nanzhu felt that maybe he shouldn’t be so ungrateful. Afterall, he couldn’t be picky given his lousy condition. If Situ Zhang managed to help him get a reliable job, it wouldn’t hurt for him go to work after New Years.

While he was still lost in thought, Situ Zhang on the other end had already changed the topic and decided to finish what he had to say.

“Anyways, no matter what, you must come to this Jiuju① tonight! This host is one of my biggest customers; he always come for an entire treatment and massage… You know who he is? He’s the sales manager of an insurance company! You know how many contacts and resources this kind of person holds onto-it’ll surely benefit you. If you work with him, there will surely be a future for you!! If this job doesn’t suit you this time, I’ll find another one for you! Investors——I even know those who sell health products! The sales industry has shaped lots of talented people! Of course, if you could find yourself a job before New Years, that would be the best! Then this buddy of yours can be accountable② to your grandmother! Right? Haha!”

After trolling his childhood buddy with words that even he himself didn't believe, Situ Zhang cut the call immediately. As if he knew Xiao Nanzhu was going to be mad, he left him no chance to utter a word and hung up. Having been cut off, Xiao Nanzhu was left at a loss for words and pocketed his phone. The frustration pent up in his heart had nowhere to go. It was only after awhile that Xiao Nanzhu silently let out a curse.

“Darn Situ, why don't you just tell me to do the Pyramid scam③ instead…”

He said it in a rather teeth-gnashing way. The inexperienced occupational newbie Xiao Nanzhu felt helpless for once. He, too, wanted to solve his work and life problems once and for all.

But just as Situ Zhang had said, in today’s society, without certifications or connections, he couldn’t get anywhere without a hitch.

As he continued to think, anxiety filled his heart and urged Xiao Nanzhu to smoke. He frowned and unwittingly looked at the refrigerator. There was a supermarket gift magnet attached to the fridge door. He pursed his lips, put his hand on it, and grasped the magnet in a daze. However, before he could open the fridge door, he heard a faint sneeze from inside the fridge.

He had been already shocked twice in a row yesterday. Xiao Nanzhu feared nothing at the moment.

It was the daytime anyway, so there was no need to be scared of demons or monsters. Moreover, it wasn’t even a problem for him, a retired soldier, to fight a demon empty-handed. His life and work problems were troubling him, so he desperately needs a punching bag then and there.

With that being said, as he was solemnly waiting for this creature to come out of the fridge to welcome him with a kick, the fridge door opened. Immediately, a young, scholarly man with green robes and frost-laden hair popped his head out as he shivered and fussed.

“H-How absurd! Who set the air conditioner this cold during winter?! This young man is gonna catch a cold sleeping naked… Achoo! Achoo!”

Xiao Nanzhu: “...”

...

Based on Niansi(24th)’s appearance, he appeared to be a delicate and pretty young scholar around twenty years of age. He was a poetic man who seemed to be surrounded by the fragrance of ink.

Niansi usually stayed in the old Huangli. His job was really relaxing and provided a lot of liberty for him.

During his free time, he would read some books in his small study or listen to Kunqu④. He would also often write a few love letters and flower petal rafts to Mangzhong-jiejie and Guyu-meimei⑤ whom have enamored him for a long time.

(Source:baidu search result. A Kun opera actress.)

Although his carp-farming neighbor Xiaonian was a noisy, hyperactive kid that liked to wear crotch pants and disturb his good night’s sleep, that didn’t stop him from living the simple and poetic life he pursued.

Even though he wasn’t an important holiday, nor was he a special solar term, being the most ordinary of the most ordinary days meant he must work hard! What if one day he becomes the memorial day of someone great?!

Harboring such a great ambition in his chest, Niansi thought to himself and worked even harder.

Every year when it was his day to work, this young man would come down from the calendar and work for his boss, who was also the owner of the Huangli, for a full day.

This kind of repetitive routine had been in effect for thousands of years by now. As calendar gods, they must give the Huangli Shi the most accurate tellings of the daily fortune and mishaps and zodiac and dream interpretations. Sometimes, they even need to dispel evil spirits in person.

Niansi had 364 colleagues. All of them worked for the Huangli Shi because of the presence of the old Huangli.

During this period of time, they had countless masters. In the end, time is vast and boundless: the lifespan of human beings could not compare to theirs.

In Niansi’s memory, he may have met his new master for only a few times, but by the next meeting, nothing remained the same. Niansi’s master had changed yet again five years ago along with the sentimental partings and vicissitudes.

His female boss, surnamed Xiao, was stingy and bad-tempered. When Niansi first met her, she was only 21.

She got the old and rugged Huangli from her scrap-picking father and unknowingly discovered the secrets of the old Huangli. This was a magical occurrence almost unimaginable for ordinary beings.

However, this brave young lady didn’t show a single sign of fear or backing off. She volunteered herself to become a Huangli Shi. During the period of years that she became a Huangli Shi, Niansi didn’t even feel that time had done anything to him, but this young lady named Xiao Ruhua grew old.

Old lady Xiao was sick. She always reprimanded those lazy calendar gods for not working when she was healthy, but when she fell ill, none of them were happy about it.

Double Ninth Festival⑥ suggested that they organise a donation for old lady Xiao. Nurses Day, on the other hand, called for everyone to take care of their body and stay vigilant against cancer. Mid-autumn Festival specially brought two boxes of five-kernel mooncakes⑦ from Guanghan palace⑧ to express his sincerity. Children’s Day, on the other hand, said nothing but cried for the whole day holding old lady Xiao’s hand.

They are the almighty and powerful calendar gods, but faced with such circumstances, even they cannot change the fate of a person who is reaching the end of her life…

Because of this, Niansi was especially sorrowful for a very long time.

He had prepared a beautiful acrostic poem for the ill old lady Xiao. Unfortunately, she passed away on a day he wasn’t working, and he never had the chance to read it to her.

The only thing he remembered was a boy’s stiflingly pained groans from inside the hospital ward. From that day onwards, the calendar gods in the old Huangli were no longer under the restriction of a boss.

(Source: net)

This indefinite period of rest left a layer of dust over the once-new labour contract lying on the coffee table.

Niansi and the other calendar gods were actually prepared to negotiate with the new boss about work welfare and insurance, but that dumb grandson of old lady Xiao didn’t know anything. His only intention was to get out of there later on. So just like that, he left this huge crowd of over 300 employees hanging on the wall to collect dust.

Because of this, the few proud and arrogant traditional festivals that usually couldn’t be bothered with insignificant small fry had secretly complained about him. It had been several years since that Xiao Nanzhu fellow left. When he finally came back, Niansi looked at himself in the mirror and saw that even his chin had grown a beard.

It was midnight. Xiaonian ran outside noisily and then came back whining.

Niansi was curious to see how that lonely boy who cried pitifully that time was now. He even shaved his beard for this occasion.

Nianwu(25th) and the others wanted him to have a good talk with Xiao Nanzhu, whether it be about life,ideals, or dreams—— all were fine. Their purpose was to let him know about the advantages of being a Huangli Shi, so Niansi accepted this honorable mission.

However, what he really didn’t expect was that before he even got out of the calendar, he immediately felt a bone chilling gust of wind blowing on his face.

“H-How absurd! Who set the air conditioner this cold during winter?! This young man is gonna catch a cold… Achoo! Achoo!”

 1. Jiuju 酒局：Not sure if there’s an English equivalent word for it. Basically a culture of talking business over alcohol. 

2. Accountable in this case refers to Situ Zhang feels that he had some responsibility to give Xiao Nanzhu a hand/take care of him so as not to make grandmother Xiao worry.

3. Pyramid scam 传销：Or pyramid marketing, a pyramid scheme is an illegal investment scam based on a hierarchical setup.

4.  Kunqu 昆曲：Or Kun opera, it is one of the oldest opera in China’s history.

5. Jiejie 姐姐=elder sister, Meimei 妹妹=younger sister, Gege 哥哥=elder brother, Didi 弟弟=younger brother

 This chapter is edited by Noxeru. Thank you so much for reading >w<!