#biggest thing is colleges lol yk

[wrongcaitlyn]

hi hi! first off I AM SUCH A HUGE FAN LIKE YOU HAVE NO CLUE. I literally shake every time you release a new chapter it’s insane. i’ve been following since… maybe chapter 14 of talk your talk and go viral (i just need this love spiral)? and i have been reading them as soon as they come out and wow. just read the new chapter shaking screaming crying throwing up. But to get to the actual ask i swear on my life that sometime in the og fic will said that he was going to make a solangelo ship account and become the biggest solangelo shipper lol. i just looked and it’s in chapter 21! “Which is a strange concept to think of, obviously, but he’s going to move past that. The only thing that really matters is that he wakes up in Will’s arms, and Will, somehow, finds it all hilarious. He is, however, going undercover on his Kanye West hate account to become the number one Will Solace x Nico di Angelo shipper, and to most of stan twitter, he’s probably coming off as insane and delusional.”

please tell me if will actually went through with that account. cause i was kinda confused in the new chapter when will said the solangelo rumors were getting annoying. since yk. he was egging it on.

sorry for such a long ask but i’ve just been wondering and AAHHHH IM SUCH A HUGE FAN YOU HAVE NO IDEAAAAAA I also made a playlist for this fic that’s probably over 10 hours long at this point most of it consists of songs i think nico would make because i’m insane.

HI omg literally thank u so much😭😭💔💔 it makes me so happy that you like the fic that much!!!

to answer the question, he definitely did, at the beginning - but that was still very early on in nico’s career, and his fan base was pretty small (at least compared to how it skyrocketed later that year). i think there’s a very fine line between joking that “haha these friends would make such a cute couple i ship!” (what will was doing) compared to certain “fans” who will insist on nico coming out and them having a public relationship/trying to find “hints” and “clues” that aren’t there/theorizing abt them having broken up, or them pining, or basically just invading nico (and will’s) privacy (what will is annoyed by/what other ppl are doing).

will ended up abandoning that acc when he got to college (1 bc he didn’t have time and 2 bc of people becoming too invasive). will def was egging it on back in hs, mainly just to counter the piper x nico rumors and bc he thought it’d be funny, but it became clear at some point that people weren’t seeing the joke aspect of the ship, and taking it way too seriously (bc even tho will thought it’d be funny, he didn’t actually want to out either of them).

plus, yk what happened at the grammys. having ppl try to out nico or accuse him of queerbaiting is really not what will wants to encourage! he made a mistake bc he was a teenager and he is not perfect! (tho tbf, nico thought it was funny at first too, and then just kinda forgot abt it when he became less active on social media)

DROP THE PLAYLIST💳💥💳💥 (i literally have 20+ playlists for this fic and will never turn down some more. i have an obsession.)

tysm for the ask!!! this ended up being a very long response lmao but i have way too many thoughts abt this au😭

[moonjxsung]

pls brain either keep doing mini skz fics in my dreams or stop altogether bc every time i wake up from one i can’t think straight😪

and frrr with religious trauma!! my religious trauma doesn’t even revolve around my fam forcing religion on me but like everyone else around me. my mother in law is super catholic and im not baptized so for like a year or two in our relationship she was trying to get me to get baptized. and in a way i’ve always thought of doing it bc of my guilt but i don’t want to do it by force, yk?

so yeah i guiltily love stories that contain blasphemous aspects!! (juno has an anon that wrote priest!hyune🛐). so almost having sex with changbin at a church was top tier. i still think about it all the time. i also dreamt that i dryhumped jeongin at a church once at minho’s orders🛐🛐🛐.

and let’s be honest!!! jisung would love blasphemous sex bc bro is the biggest freak (idk if he’s religious or not bc he’s made like references about jesus and has a jesus shirt) so it’s either a humor thing or religious but either way he’d love it but maybe with a lil guilt too. i think you’d write a fantastic blasphemous sexy story but i get the apprehension as well.

past lives is so good! im so glad your mom enjoyed it! i cried sooooo much as well. it’s such an interesting story. and so beautifully written and directed too. (my bf spent the whole movie saying yoo teo looks like an older version of taehyung and i cannot unsee it).

and i am also so keeping up with 🦢🧡🌙 and star drama and im living for it. my fav long-term storytelling.

the fact that you said that you’d read a dissertation from me, im crying. ilysm bb💜

-🐈‍⬛

No I totally get that! It should be on your terms and whenever you feel ready!

TW below the cut: long blurb about my impending religious trauma 🫶 (seriously if anyone struggles with religious trauma please proceed with caution lol)

I struggle so bad with religious ocd which is strange because I grew up attending church and I was baptized AND confirmed into my church so I was a very active participant and my parents never forced anything on me, but in college when I began questioning specifics and taking lots of science courses I became like a raging atheist and I would get so annoyed whenever religion was brought up and I just shut it out completely. Navigating my sexuality and just being a young adult and not understanding religion/feeling very detached from it was super difficult. And then in sophomore year of college was when I began getting really bad religious themed intrusive thoughts (I won’t bore you with the details) but basically I began developing ocd rituals that began to take a toll on my physical health and I was hospitalized twice for it and put on medication for about 5 years (I stopped about one year ago now!) and I felt like it was God punishing me in a sense. For 2 years straight I could hardly leave my house without feeling like I was under the watchful eye of a higher power and I would keep a BIBLE in my purse, it got so bad that I quit my job and almost took a year off college just to to engage in my ocd rituals 😭 luckily I had a really good support system so I got intensive therapy and I was really close to a writing professor of mine who was very understanding about it and encouraged me to write about what I was feeling so I have notebooks full of my 5 year struggle with religion and it was just…….. not fun LOL

Luckily I’m much better now (I still struggle with it, just not to a debilitating extent!) and I think that’s where a lot of the attraction to blasphemy comes from, because I already have been funneling my religious guilt into writing for so long and I already write smut after being so sexually repressed as a result of my medication (and fear that god was going to punish me for exploring my sexuality) so I think combining the two would be a fairly easy task. I’m always just worried that if I spiral again I’m going to equate it to my writing and blame myself 😭 BUT if you guys ever see themes of religious guilt in my writing, that’s a little backstory to it because it’s a huge part of my personal identity and I think it’s going to follow me around forever. ALSO THE JISUNG BIT…… I could so see him in a blasphemy themed story, he so gives off church crush vibes 😭😭😭😭 my brain is FUZZY I may very well have to write something about it 👼

I still need to get around to watching Past Lives BUT it seems so good and tragic from what I’ve heard!! I personally love media with sad endings too, it just scratches an itch on my brain 😭

Also thank you for keeping up with 🧡🌙🦢 drama we are a chaotic MESS right now……. I think I’m technically cheating on so many of my virtual partners right now (I still love u all) but their silly little messages keep me going fr

I love u so much pookie!!!! Also of COURSE I would read a dissertation by you it would be FANTASTIC like all your messages always are 👼💓🩷💕 I hope you’re having the best day ily ily

[magicalara]

So...2022 huh

It's time for Em's yearly letter to the blog where I talk about it since the new year's coming in about an hour and a half in my timezone. Prefacing this with a tw for talks of depression, anxiety, horrible friends, and no proof reading. Here is my word vomit and if you don't get to the end, happy new year everyone.

So 2022 was one of, if not the, worst year in my 19 years of living. It started off with the pressure of a class which if I didn't pass, would essentially mean I couldn't go to college, and is ending with me having to walk on eggshells around people and feeling just...so anxious and depressed. Before I get into that, however, in order to save the people I want to specifically call out from having to hear about my depressing word vomit, I'm gonna mention them first.

So I can't make a new year's post without tagging my girl @pinktea99 who has been around for what feels like ever. I think it'll actually be two years of our friendship early next year I don't remember for sure, it might be three...time is fake it doesn't matter anyways. Between the amazing fanfictions you used to make that I still go back to every now and then and now just tagging me in posts you think I'd like, Mo you've been the biggest supporter I've had since I practically started posting real shit on this hellsite and I could not be more grateful. You're on of my biggest inspirations and I love and adore you so much. Let's go into 2023 with just as much happiness as you've given me in 2022 and even more. I love you so much, my dear 💜💚

Next up (and honestly the only other person I have to tag oops 💀) @docmartensanddietcoke my beloved. We've only been friends for a few months now but hot damn do I feel like we've known each other for years. We clicked so quickly and it kinda scared me at first but in such a good way??? Idk but you're amazing and so sweet and passionate and I just love talking to you so much. You've made me so excited about writing again after so long of being stuck in an endless loop of writer's block and just general insecurity that led to me not posting. I'm so happy I met you and I can't wait to see what 2023 brings us. Much love to you and thank you for showing me the pleasures (nudge nudge wink wink) of the pairing that is William T Spears and Mey-Rin 💜♥️💜

Okay so now the other stuff lol. So if you're one of the 20-30 some-odd people who started following me from seeing all the black butler bullshit I post, you wouldn't know but I used to be a kpop blog. I'm like 99% certain that I privated/deleted all of those posts though so yk hopefully y'all don't see that. I still reblog my nct loves because they are my ult group and I love them very much but I used to like only post about kpop. I had to switch because I just wasn't happy with it anymore. I had always envisioned myself as having a blog full of things I loved but after coming back from a break where I saw the fandoms I loved to interact with having gone to shit, I couldn't do it anymore. So I got rid of it all and rebranded 😃 It was honestly a really good decision though and I'm glad I did it because it reminded me of the reasons I started a tumblr account in the first place: to be happy.

For as creepy as certain sides of the black butler fandom may be, I've never felt so supported. Y'all are amazing and I still can't believe any of my posts got passed 50 notes let alone my top three all being just shy of or completely pass 100. All of the interaction is so appreciated and I can't wait to interact with you all more in the new year <33

With the good, though, comes the bad. So much of the last half of my senior year was full on unnecessary bullshit and drama and breakdowns. From the feeling of being stabbed in the back by people I thought I could trust, to being almost taken advantage of in my first wlw relationship, it just was not a great time. This really sucked, though, because my greatest hope was for my senior year in high school to be something worth remembering as I wasn't able to do anything the previous two years since covid put a downer on all of that. But whatever, I graduated and kept the people I wanted to and dropped those I didn't. It's still a work in progress in dropping some of those people, but in getting there lol

I got my first job, which I still have now, and I love working there. There are better days and worse days (I work in public service so there are always those karen's who will come in) but I love the people I work with and am glad that I decided to take the offer to work there when I did. I have some good memories there that definitely are core memories

I can't do this without mentioning the passing of Technoblade. If you didn't know who he was, Technoblade was a minecraft youtuber and streamer who helped so many people with his amazing and funny videos and his stories that he created on the Dream SMP. He unfortunately passed in June this year due to cancer. When I watched the video his dad made announcing it, the world went silent. I spent that whole night and much of the day after crying my eyes out. I couldn't imagine someone who had brought me so much comfort being gone. Hell I'm still not over it, and I don't think I ever will be. Techno was a huge influence, inspiration, and comfort for me and always will be. Fuck cancer.

I had many family problems throughout the year that I won't get into because that's a little more personal than I'd like to get to on such a public place lol. Just know that to all of you who are celebrating alone this year, I feel you, and my heart goes out to you. We aren't alone if we're all together

The one huge positive that I do have to mention is my starting to watch anime. I decided to take the plunge and watch ouran highschool host club because of a cosplay I saw of hikaru and kaoru on tiktok that made me go "oh what the fuck I'll give". I went in not expecting to finish even episode one and came out with new comfort characters and a world I couldn't leave behind. After ouran, I found kuroshitsuji and we'll...here we are lol

On top of the comfort I found in ouran, I found a series that was so much darker but had such good characters that I started to connect with and love. Grelle has been such a huge comfort for me and I can't imagine myself leaving her (or the series) behind at any point for next long while. Seeing such an empowering transgender woman really did it for me and I'm so happy I decided to watch this show and subsequently binge read the manga. I can't wait to see all the kuro content this next year brings

I've lost people this year, I've gained people this year. I've cried so many tears of sadness and absolutely no tears of joy. I've spent way more money than I should on genshin impact and food. Most importantly, I've found a place where I think I can start to build myself up again. Good fucking bye 2022, I'm gonna do my best to make 2023 my bitch and I think that y'all should join me. Thank you all for being here, and I wish you all a happy, healthy new year

If you've made it this far, new chapter of forever forgiveness comes out in two weeks ;)

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hii Jalebi! How are you doing? Diwali anon here!(idk you remember my last ask to recognise my but oh well!) So I'm on IPKKND re-watch sapere again cuz I'm trying to cope ever increasing anxiety of going to start college and moving to a new city and also living in a hostel for the first time ever

So this might be a long ask lol, but i feel so deprived of Arnav and Khushi actually being parents to Aarav yk? I feel like Khushi and Arnav reacting on completely opposite ends of spectrum during Diwali was a set up for a new track, which was scratched out? Also your take on how asr and Khushi would eventually have convo with Aarav about being orphans, and i personally think that if aarav had even a bit doubt about them accepting him or vice versa would be cleared from his mind. Also this could be headcanon or whatever down the line aarav would have taken some characteristics from Khushi (like he likes sweets like she does) maybe daily horoscope or finding a new best friend in Devi maiyya!? Also i imagine Aarav having to tell Arnav why Khushi is teary eyed because during her infamous morning vegetable shopping (where mother and son first met, this is their bonding time without any verbal confirmation about it) fellow shopper aunty comments on how aarav's nose is just like hers. Another one where aarav might be feeling down cuz he's done a bit bad on a test and he NEEDS to be best like his father but sabka Devi swooping in and telling him that being mediocre is okay, he doesn't need to be best for them to love him as much they do now and much much more.

Am i projecting my mommy and daddy issues in there? Maybe but who cares lol

This turned out longer than i expected, it's not a rant it's an essay, I'm so sorry. Fingers crossed i hope Tumblr doesn't eat my ask😭.

Please add your own headcanons and ideas I'd love to know (more like I'm desperate to know lol)

Thank you so much for bearing with me! I love your blog and podcasts!<333

Diwali Anon!!!

Do you know I too watch IPK to cope with anxiety - especially when I move into a new housing location? So giving you the biggest hugs cause watching our favorite show truly gives us the comfort we need during the hardest times *hugs*

How am I doing? Dying due to periods *cry*

Aarav and his role in the show was very undecided. They developed the relationship well between him and Arnav, but completely underdeveloped the relationship between him and Khushi. Of course it should've been complicated considering the little child was indirectly conditioned to think that it's this woman in his "dad's" life that results to him not having his dad...

The whole parenting thing also could've been an excellent track considering both Arnav and Khushi are orphans so they could connect with the child.

But it was very clear at that point that the writers really did not know where to take the story. And they were in this spot of not knowing how to write ArShi if they're not in conflict with each other. And they swore by the guideline of making Khushi childish. So what could've been a serious difference of opinion on how to parent and raise Aarav - led to the harebrained Mrs India.

Also they never setup Khushi as a maternal figure to Aarav. She overnight forgets to wear heels, forgets to wear makeup, forgets styling, forgets she has a child. They do remember to at least show Arnav helping Aarav with homework.

I don't think they could strike a balance between a childish Khushi and mother Khushi. Which, again shows where their 'priorities' were.

And yes, children do subconsciously absorb a lot of behavior from the adults around him. I absolutely agree he'd outwardly be a lot like Arnav cause it's tough to unlearn that he needs to not be like his father to get his approval. It will take some time and acknowledgement of the family to help Aarav find his own personality and identity that isn't influenced by Arnav's behavior.

I do think from Khushi he might learn distracting his stress by doing something that controls his impulses. For Khushi it's jalebi, for Aarav it could be something else.

I do think Khushi-Arnav would communicate with Aarav early on about being orphans considering their struggle to adjust as parents and Aarav's struggle to accept a new family. You must read @ridzmystique 's beautiful OS called Under the Starlight

I'd like to quote a head canon about Aarav from one of my previous posts;

#6 “Mom”

Never, in a million years, with all her twenty imaginary babies would Khushi have ever imagined to be called ‘mom’. In her fantasies of Laad Governor & Sanka Devi’s Shaadi Shuda Zindagi she thought she had imagined it all;

A hot, passionate but crazy marriage. Their brood of children would be half western, thanks to English Singh Raizada, and half traditional. Her son would probably take after his father in looks (which she would be grateful for) and in temperament (which she would curse Arnav for). Their daughter would be just like Khushi (which Arnav would be grateful for) and naively believe in all love and romance (which Arnav would curse Khushi for).  And then Arnav and Khushi would have another set of a son and daughter to have the roles switched.  Arnav would be positively traumatized upon being called “Babuji” and would drop all his business to make sure his brood calls him “Dad/Papa” and Khushi would leave all her jalebis and shop to make sure her little army of Raizada’s called her “Amma” instead of “Mom!”

That is until the day Aarav calls her mom. Suddenly, that is the sweetest word Khushi has ever heard and she does not want Aarav to call her anything else. Because it’s what Aarav calls her. 

Aarav, although shown to be identical to Arnav and immediately close to him because he believed all along that Arnav was his father - hence tried to impress him as much as he could - grows to become mamma’s boy. It’s Khushi’s childishness, sense of humor, joy for life, maturity and zest that brings out the boy’s childhood. 

I am sure one day Khushi sits and talks about being an orphan - and Aarav would be surprised at Khushi’s happiness despite her tragedy. I feel Khushi would actually play a key role in nurturing Aarav and making him a wholesome boy who can laugh, dance and enjoy life like his mother. 

In a nutshell, Aarav grows to become the perfect combination of his parents; slightly religious, loves sweets, plays pranks, is extremely sharp at mathematics, sarcastic, introvert, dry sense of humor, values relationships, values money and is temperamental enough to get people to obey him. 

Oh, and did you think Arnav was a terror if anyone insulted Khushi in front of him? That Arnav would slap and rip away the person from planet and protect his wife from all costs. 

Don’t even think of insulting Khushi with Aarav Singh Raizada around. 

Even Arnav can’t raise his voice on Khushi in front of Aarav. 

Aarav is obviously, protective about his father too - except he’s not too vocal about his. Arnav becomes a mentor, guide and a loving father for Aarav, while Khushi becomes Aarav’s best friend. 

--

The End,

Best,

Jalebi

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

are u comfy going more into detail abt the transandrophobia at ur college? im curious abt how this shit manifests in IRL queer spaces

Yea sure, ive mentioned bits and pieces in the tags of some rbs so i might as well talk abt it properly

The one biggest issue was the way they dealt with the tdor event they hosted. Transmascs were completely erased from the narrative. For example, they had some displays with pictures and names of trans people, those who died and those who are still alive and thriving. Out of ~2 dozen pictures, there was one or maybe two transmascs on there. That is a terrible ratio

The only guy on there who was definitely transmasc had only come out in the past year and had alrrady been a well established celebrity before then, so he wouldnt have been my first choice for "still made it despite the hardships of being trans" yk ? It felt like they didnt even try. The transfemme selections seemed to be a lot more well rounded, with some cool smaller names to discover.

Otherwise, theres just been a general trend of them doing,,, nothing for transmascs at all despite them claiming to be an org for all trans ppl. Most of the events are exclusive to femme aligned ppl, with the rest being general events open to all. Almost all of the ppl featured on their socials, wall art, etc, are femme presenting. A couple times the language in the physical space got a bit too close to "all men are bad lol" for comfort

They also just . seem to assume gender more than the other queer space here ? Like when they were handing out fliers at the beginning of the year they gave one to me specifically (cis girl passing esp at the time) and ignored all the other masc presenting ppl in the immediate area despite . yk. you cant tell if someone is trans just by looking at them. My pronouns get messed up way more often over there too

All in all theres just been this pattern of pervasive discomfort and borderline erasure and they need to get their shit together if they want to live up to their claims of being trans inclusive

Note :

What im not saying is they should care less abt transfemmes and other femme aligned ppl. Im not saying they should get rid of their events or care less abt them on tdor. (I have a book on my reading list im excited to read that i learned abt through that tdor event!)

What i am saying is they should be doing more for transmascs, adding more events, and putting more care into things

[freecornland]

food for thought (or not, maybe just rants)

tw: mental health, anxiety, depression, trauma

so i kinda broke down yesterday morning. twice in less than a week. and i've been wondering.

(this is a really huge rant and i just needed to get it out so um? read on your own accord lol)

how many of us really adored learning things before pandemic came on and it made us realise we've been dealing with a lot of trauma and pressure but just coped up by romanticising studies? and ended up breaking down to shreds in the lockdown?

earlier, this used to make feel shit, guilty and ashamed. bc some of us, this group of people, some of us still grind their ass off and work hard and don't "let it get to them". and i couldn't. idk if it's my fault or if people are allowed to not be stupid strong all the time. i don't think it's called being strong.

school has been so weird for me. most of the time i didn't have ecs and even if i did, someone in the family being sick, or we shift, or smthn all the time so i didn't really have fun in my childhood. i didn't have interests or hobbies i genuinely enjoyed and felt relaxed with. 9th started, everyone's like "these two years work your ass off, you'll do great" and then the pressure for 10th boards was so insane when in reality the exams weren't yk that bad? i didn't study like, day and night and giving up my life (bc i didn't have a life lmao) but i was pretty serious about it. the pressure tho. fuck that dude, it was just too much; all devices cut and no fun times nothing. just study study study. gave the exams panicking all the time.

that much pent up frustration, anxiety and depression all came tumbling in the lockdown bc now it's a new world w a little too much freedom. what happens when you stop a rusted but excellently working machine that's been grinding for 10 years? it breaks down. it doesn't pause or take a break, it just breaks down completely.

that happened w me i guess. start of 11th, i went to a "camp" college (bc parents didnt even look up normal pcmb schools even when i was chanting it all year). these ppl finished half the syllabus in 2 months and i was already dealing w anxiety all my life so this just bass boosted it. i procrastinated out of dread and then voila six months into the college i had the biggest breakdown of my life (very terrible and i don't think i'll elaborate). an actual depressive episode for two and half weeks until my parents freak out and shift schools. we try therapy but i'm a minor so that person sucked ass and said i was pretentious.

at this point i lost my motivation and interest and energy in life. and my dad wouldn't shut up about "you have very less time" when i still had a fucking year and half for jee. my brain just got hardwired into "i don't have time" and it went to "i dont have time so how does it matter lmao" bc i'm a perfectionist who settles for mediocrity (stole this ye)....

....and now it sucks for me bc i have "less time" for real. but but but, i'm sick of people telling me i could do better. i couldn't. i might be responsible for my career but, is this my fault :/

is it my fault that i couldn't be "strong" and deal w all this? and that i just survived, nothing more nothing less, and have been surviving all my life? sighe.

[alltheglowingeyess]

＼＼\\٩( 'ω' )و //／／

[blxetsi]

do you write for zeke? if so could you please do some boyfriend!zeke (modern au) hcs? thanks🥺

tysm for requesting !!!

modern zeke jaeger dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

zeke jaeger x gn!reader

- biggest tease ever.

- i think you two wouldve started off as friends to lovers yk 😌✨

- v funny v teasing will make fun of you no matter what

- but its all lighthearted and you can genuinely tell hes joking and doesnt mean what he says

- hes a coffee person. all the way.

- almost always seen with a coffee in his hand

- after you keep stealing sips of whatever hes got he finally just caves in and will bring you your own drink whenever he sees you

- if you dont drink coffee, but prefer a sugary drink or something he'll tease you about it

- hes a very relaxed person and doesnt get jealous, hes not someone that will go balistic and get angry when you hug a friend he doesnt know or whatever

- also would be really cool with your exes if youre cool with them, like "oh yeah i remember you telling me abt them, congrats on your engagement btw" just a very civil man

- if he does have insecurities about your relationship he just kind of, wont say anything ???

- not that he doesnt want to he just doesnt know how to bring it up

- bae pls learn how to talk abt your feelings 😁👍

- anyways after a little bit youll notice somethings wrong, but he'll try and act "strong" bc thats what he thinks hes supposed to be for you

- baby no u can be vulnerable its okay 😐🤚

- he finally lets everything go and has a really long and progressive conversation with you about everything, and you guys work it all out !

- you assure him its okay to be honest and that hes always welcome to talk to you about how hes feeling and his heart just swells

- im also a firm believer in that zeke genuinely doesnt care what you look like, if he finds you cool he finds you cool, he dgaf

- poc ?? he loves you. plus sized ?? he loves you.

- if you even THINK of being like "lol im insecure" hes shutting it down and talking abt how beautiful he finds you

- hes also someone that likes to push you out of your comfort zone, but in baby steps ?? like hes not going to force you to do something when you say "zeke im genuinely not comfortable with this" but if youre very shy he'll try and help you kind of,, not be as shy (hopefully this makes sense 😁👍)

- also loves to cook with you.

- his favourite types of dates are just when you two go to each others' homes and just cook dinner together ?? maybe drink some wine while you chop vegetables and work together (if you drink obv, if you dont he wont drink either even if you say its okay)

- he thinks it makes the food taste better because "it was made with our love" yeah ok ig 🙄🙏

- his family is really cool !! his dads a doctor and his step moms a social worker, and theyre really nice people !! his younger brother is in college but after a while he grows to love you like a sibling

- his mom lives a couple hours away, so he only gets to see her during holidays, but shes a very kind woman who owns an art shop !

- hes a very family oriented man, and really likes that you like his family and vice versa, he thinks its really important that his s/o and family get along

- when hes with you he sees himself being with you for the long run, im talking marriage and kids (if thats what you want) but definitely marriage

- if you two had different friend groups i think it would be hard for either of you to kind of fit in with each others friends, but after a while you two get the hang of it and it gets easier to see them !!

- is the kind of guy who'll wake you up with kisses on your cheek 🤩

- also likes to spoon you or have your head on his chest. will NOT be the baby spoon no matter what.

- also the kind of guy who dramatically stretches and yawns in the morning

- likes it when you hold his hand, even if you guys are just sitting together on the couch watching something, its so simple and subtle but it makes him really happy

- if you have an office at home that you work in a lot, he'll come and check on you when it gets late. will just rub and pat your head and ask what youre working on, and ask if youll be done soon

- if youre stressing on something that needs to be done THAT NIGHT he understands and will just leave you to it

- when you come to bed late it wakes him up but hes glad it does bc then he can pull you into his arms 😌✨

- zeke has very warm hands, to the point where sometimes theyre sweaty and clammy, so when you have a stomach ache or cramps he has no problem just laying down behind you and rubbing your stomach where it hurts

- if you have a weird interest or hobby he wont discourage it as long as its not hurting you or anybody else, he'll try and get into it to but if he cant no harm done, he'll respect it and you

- i think he would have some acne scars on his cheeks from highschool (puberty am i right 🙄😤⁉️) and thats one of the reasons why he has a beard, just to make it hard to see

- its mostly bc hes cool though, and although he started growing it out BECAUSE he found the scarring weird, as hes gotten older he just doest care anymore

- if you think he looks hot clean shaven he'll do it for u, and he loves the compliments you give him

- zeke is the kind of guy that will flip through the tabloid magazines at checkout

- "babe did you know that jennifer lawrence has a dark secret ??" "i- i did not 😁"

- also the kind of guy that will laugh if he sees kids falling in public

- if he was a father he'd help his kid up obviously, but would do it while giggling the whole time

- has dad handwriting (u know what im talking about)

- everytime he calls his brother he answers with "hey asshole" ??? brotherly love 🙈✨

- is very into horror films, but ONLY good ones

- so like hereditary, midsommar, and black swan are some ones he loves

- the kind of guy that has captain crunch for breakfast every morning

- theres this guy at the law firm he works at that he has a "rivalry" of sorts with, his names levi and from what youve been told hes actually very intimidating ??

- loves to read and will read to you if you ask, would have you in between his legs with your back to his chest on the bed, and he'd have one hand in yours and the other holding whatever book you choose

- zeke needs to be in complete darkness to sleep but needs to have a room as bright as possible to be productive. so every morning after he stretches and gets out of bed hes immediately opening his curtains and letting light into the room because "its the only way he'll actually get ready"

- if he was ever to pop the question he'd do it alone at a very mundane time, just like "wow this is the moment" and ask you to marry him. doesnt matter if he has a ring or not, hes ready, and he realizes this, and he finds the beauty in just doing something so simple with you. hes content and happy, and you make him see life in things he hasnt before, and hes ready for the commitment that comes with marriage, and hes in love with you.

hope u all enjoyed 🤩🤩🤩 asks r open so request if ud like !!! okay love u all stay safe 🤩

[bisluthq]

Why don't you think Josh is gay? Genuine question cause I'm an ex kaylor and just followed you this past week after escaping the bubble lol

Because literally nothing suggests he is? He’s a former frat bro tech dude who likes standard white boy shit like rap and sportz and Rick and Morty (he commissioned Rick and Morty fanart of himself and his wife) and he has been dating a supermodel since summer 2012 lol and married to her since 2018 and like… he comments butt emojis on her posts and he was into the idea of like hot tub hanky panky with her and he has made fun of the Kaylor gay stuff on his Insta and he and her are regularly seen all over each other and like there have been a number of long form exposes of his family and his dad and Jared have had some of those exposes mention gay shit (his dad is bi and saw sex workers of both genders and some people involved with the Trumps think Jared might be gay)… These exposes have a lot of info on Josh and shit too but no one has suggested he’s gay.

So idk why would you think he’s gay yk? Like it’s kinda like saying “why don’t you think Mark Zuckerberg is gay??” Idk man coz literally nothing suggests that?

The biggest “proofs” Kays have he’s gay are 1) he’s close friends with Mikey Hess but the thing is Mikey was - until his marriage - a literal playboy whose exploits made the papers and he and Josh are childhood friends (and their dads and grandpas are also friends) 2) they had a gay friend in college called Nick who Josh has subsequently set up with Derek Blasberg and who is now the father of Derek’s kids 3) he wears cardigans - that’s literally just homophobic lol and weird as a headcanon.

So like 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ obviously only Josh knows his sexuality but I don’t see why it would be gay or even bi.

[lunatens]

tag game!! ✨

thank you @loonaanight for tagging me!! 🥺💖 this was super fun hehe

i’m gonna tag @ggulovebot @cutiejoshi @bruh-changbin @noniesgirl @changbinniee @vanillajoshh of course only if y’all want to!! 💖💓💘💕💗

—

what do you prefer being called name-wise?

luna 😌 but if you know my actual name feel free to call me that, i don’t mind at all whichever one you use!! when i first made this blog i was so scared about people i know irl finding it so i didn’t wanna use my real name, but now i don’t care anymore lol and most of my close irl friends know now anyways 🥴 but i still keep it as luna because idk that’s who i’ve been here to most of you so yeah!!

when is your birthday?

march 6th!!! 🐟

where do you live?

i live in canada!! kind of near toronto

three things you are doing right now?

lying in bed, writing the next go higher update, recovering from joshua’s birthday live 😭😭

four fandoms who piqued your interest?

if we’re talking within kpop then ig i’ll say seventeen, skz, txt and tbz (mimu i am!! slowly learning them!!!!!) but if we’re talking kpop as a fandom in general then three other ones i guess would be haikyuu, voltron and star wars!!

how’s the pandemic treating you?

honestly not too bad for me personally!! i got to spend a lot of time with my family which was nice after a really rough time before the pandemic. and also we got a puppy hehe (not because of the pandemic we just happened to get her right before) and also i’m grateful that up north where i go to college it hasn’t been that bad so i could safely see my friends!!

a song you cannot stop listening to atm:

hmm i’ve been listening to fairy of shampoo by txt a lot these days!

recommend a movie!

ok!! i recommend wall-e because i just watched it the other day for the first time in a while and i forgot how good it is

how old are you?

i’m 20 :3 ‘00 line hehe

school, university, occupation, other?

i’m in my third + final year of animation in college!! i’ll (hopefully) be graduating in april!!

do you prefer heat or cold?

cold cold cold i get hot pretty easily so i don’t love hot weather

name one fact others may not know about you:

uhhhhh hm...oh i got a gigANTIC stuffed dolphin for christmas!!! a big boy hehe

are you shy?

a little bit? i’m not shy as much as just introverted and quiet around new people but i wouldn’t say i’m that shy

pronouns?

she/her

biggest pet peeve?

idk if this is my biggest pet peeve but i rlly do not like when people make food and then leave all their stuff out for like hours yk..idk im a pretty clean organized person so the mess bothers me 😖😖

what is your favourite “dere” type?

i’m not really a fan of any of them personally

rate your like from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be:

maybe like an 8 or 9? would be higher if i could see seventeen in concert hehe

what’s your main blog and what do you use it for?

this is my main blog!! i use it for posting fics but also reblogging cool stuff and interacting with you guys :3

what are your side blogs and what are they for?

@/tsaje-art is my art blog i just made hehe altho i kinda wanna change the url hmm

(update: i changed it sllfkssk it’s @ericast now 🥴)

i also have a side blog where a couple summers ago i was bored and i started translating stories from my latin textbook from high school lol but i haven’t had time to translate any in a while 😔

is there something people need to know about you before coming friends?

sometimes i take a long time to respond to messages because i’m fairly busy irl, but pleASE be my friend 🥺🥺🥺 i love making friends on here but i’m not that good at initiating things (so thank you to all my lovely friends who came and talked to me first 💖)

[mfatalk]

maybe this is a goofy question. as a fellow, ah, hick (middle of nowhere nevada) who just got accepted into redacted i’m feeling some guilt wrt . i’m the first person in my family to go to college. i’m studying this very esoteric thing. i’m Betraying My Roots and blah blah. did you feel anything similar when you delved into academia? either in undergrad or grad

not a silly question at all. I've been sitting on this for weeks because honestly idk how to answer: I always wanna be like, oh it gets easier, oh this is how I deal w it, but this in particular has been one of my biggest struggles w undergrad and now, in a much more pronounced way, w my mfa. lol and as always the occasional racist or classist microagression doesn’t help. I've thought about leaving a few times bc of it, when it gets really pronounced and difficult to handle. but I dont wanna do that, at the end of the day 

I've started writing a little about it, and that’s been draining. but writing is a good way to process stuff as it happens to you, even if its not good writing, sometimes especially. i also think that finding work to do to help people formerly in your situation or near it goes a long way to keeping yourself grounded and making you feel connected to yourself. I'm part of this program that like, reads and comments on writing from inmates, and it makes me feel a lot less alienated, feels familiar and helpful. so something like that maybe. but yeah! I feel you. it sucks and it’s weird. I think it takes time to integrate diff parts of yourself into who you are. but we will get there. bc I think we actually do deserve it probably. containing multitudes and all. yk 

[missmadxson]

hailee steinfeld, cis female, she/her  hey have you seen MADISON “MADDIE” BAKER ? SHE let me borrow HER GLITTER GLUE GUN. oh, you know them! they’re TWENTY-TWO YEARS OLD and they’ve been at Roy G. for FOUR YEARS. They are known to be a total ARIES. no wonder they’ve picked up the nickname THE ROSE COLORED GLASSES! i’m surprised you haven’t heard them blaring RUN AWAY WITH ME BY CARLY RAE JEPSEN all night. they remind me of FALLING GLITTER,  SINGING ALONG TO KARAOKE AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS & BRIGHT STICKERS . anyway, let me know if you see them ! (rachell, 23, she/her, mt, n/a).

ok wow hello here i am, with absolutely no impulse control to give you all my chaotic good baby who’s kind of a bimbo who just wants to love everyone (gotta balance the kids out, yk?) love us pls

background:

tw: mention of teen pregnancy  tw: mention of abortion

maddie was born march 21st, 1999 as an only child to a single mom that was left to raise her alone when her birth dad decided not to bare the responsibility of having a family at such a young age, also being kicked out by her family for having a baby out of wedlock once she decided that she was going to keep it...her mom was 17 at the time

before she was officially kicked out of the house, madison’s mom got into an argument with her grandma about putting the baby up for adoption, but it went as well as when she had tried to convince her to get an abortion when maddie was announced in the first place

maddie’s mom loved her little girl more than anything else in this world and she was gonna raise it, with or without her family’s support

to this day, maddie and her mom still have a strained relationship to her grandparents and the girl grew up never actually meeting her dad but if you ask her, she has no problem with this at all

tho the happy, bubbly, dramatic little girl didn’t have grandparents or a father figure to help look after her, she had her mom and her aunt who stuck by her mother’s side despite their parents wishes, and her mom’s best friends and even their neighbors that instantly fell in love with the little girl the instant they moved into their new apartment (so like pretty much a mama mia situation lol); her mother and best friends were always there to support madison’s endeavors, letting her dress how she wanted to school, showing up in a too-too and cowboy boots and being the shining star at every school play that there was 

i'll write more on this backstoroy when i think of anything else but god do i love them, and god do they love EACH OTHER. maddie still facetimes with her mom and “aunts” every chance she gets, each one having a reason to be her role models

idk where she lived before lets say cali but basically this lil babe moved out to florida for college, wanting a new adventure to embark on and she has loved it here ever since. she kinda loves the communal way of living?? it kinda just feels like a new little clunk of a found family opportunity like the one she has back home

about her

incredibly friendly and excitable, it doesn’t really matter if you’ve known her all your life, or just met her a second ago, she will just start a conversation out of the blue over the most random thing and could just go on for hours if you don’t stop her sa;dkfjs

the energy of a toddler hopped up on sugar and the attention span of a gold fish. she’s a senior in college and is one of those students that drifts off to her own little world, doodling over her papers yet somehow pulls decent enough grades out of her ass somehow and everyone’s kinda shook af by this, over all she does love to learn and is incredibly curious by the world around her, she just prefers the social aspect of it all, really

stubbornly optimistic and is pretty good at picking herself back up again if something happens to go wrong but that doesn’t mean she won’t be incredibly dramatic about it first and probably a lil petty and childish, has the puppy dog eyes and pout down pat....she can be a LOT, you’ve been warned ;asdkfsdvd

a theater baby through and through, one of her aunts was really into broadway and got her very into it growing up, her performing is over all alright at best but it doesn’t stop her from giving it all she has when given the opportunity (will blast you with showtunes if you give her the aux cord) . she absolutely ADORES art in every single one of it’s forms. you have an open mic night? a show casing? she’s there and she’s baked you brownies and brought you flowers! 

never really grew out of her love for arts and crafts, in fact her glitter glue gun is her most valuable possession and she’s always making something cute as a pick-me-up for one of her friends

 has a crafting channel on youtube with a decent enough amount of followers (think LaurDIY) whom she lovingly calls “glitter heads” and she also does other things on it such as little vlogs here and there, as well as cosplays

also has an etsy shop she sells custom hair accessories and wlw earrings on 

a strong activist for blm, womens right’s lgbtqia+ etc. she always makes sure to keep herself informed in every way she possibly can 

is pan af

expresses herself a lot through her clothes and make up!! doesn’t matter if it doesn’t match, if its bright, a cute pattern, or sparkly, she is making that shit WORK, rainboots, cat ear headbands and overalls are her favorites, loves LOVES glitter and will always try to have it on be it through her eyeshadow or highlight for some examples, it doesn’t matter, she just NEEDS it

the leslie knope of gift giving, she’s so good at it and has a talent for knowing exactly what to get someone, having the most fun picking it out. to her, there’s nothing more exciting than finding the perfect thing that will show her friends how much she loves and appreciates them

the BIGGEST party girl you’ve EVER SEEN. she doesn’t really need alcohol or weed to have a good time, she’s just always ready regardless but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun, would party every single night if she could, drunkenly singing a karaoke version of god is a woman

drunk girl in the bathroom vibes but like...all the time s;kdfsdaf

happens to flirt a lot, sometimes completely unaware of it, but she can also be pretty bad at it so skdfsdf;sf if anyone ever tries to flirt with HER THO....it’s like her brain short circuits and she’s a babbling MESS, she crushes on ppl way too fast too so...theres that

absolutely tries to play matchmaker if she happens to see someone deeply crushing or two souls just too shy to admit their feelings, she is here to HELP EVERYONE FIND LOVE

can be very comforting and a pretty good listener, she just really wants to be there for others, you know? if they’ll let her

[changji]

Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me

Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right

Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh

Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺

Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??

It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴

Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL

I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌

YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔

Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪

I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)

Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?

I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?

Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)

-

i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪

tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤

pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪

it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL

go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??

snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.

u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪

dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce

UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH

i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity

I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.

my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧

well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month

i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life

the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh

[work-before-glory]

heyy dude! i really don't want to trouble you but like im a tenth grader and will be taking medical next year and i was wondering if there are things that you think i should know for my upcoming two years?!

heyy junior, haha!

Hmm so everything I'll say is solely based on my experience and yk not necessarily will it work for everyone.

So i wasn't really sure what i wanted to do as in careerwise back in 10th so i did not join any coaching. In the lockdown, 2021 i was like yes i wanna be a doctor so 2 weeks before neet 2021 i was like aah this is it. Then i revised whatever i could, gave a few mocks and gave the exam. I scored 350. It wasn't 'bad' for a first attempt without any preparation. So I decided to take coaching this year and also get enrolled in a college cause 'just in case' yk i didn't wanna take a chance. So now I'm badly stuck between coaching and college and I've put college on a backfoot rn.

1. I told you my lifestory cause i feel if you're a one hundred percent sure that you wanna go for medical you should take some coaching with school. Yes, it'll be a little hectic but trust me it'll be worth it.

2. I feel healthy competition is very important to keep you going. You're not gonna be internally motivated 24×7 yk so external motivation is necessary. Just one thing to keep in mind is that you'll not always be doing the best so take it in a positive way and try to improve. Don't demean yourself.

3. Stay consistent and don't go feral. Like doing 12 hours a day just because you're motivated in the beginning and then not doing anything for a week is the dumbest thing ever.

4. Don't take too much stress. You don't have to do everything since 11th. Just try getting your notes in place. Even if you fall behind on some concepts, good notes are your knight in shining armour.

5. Your friends matter A LOT. If you feel they're distracting you pls pls let go. You need to prioritise. You cannot have best of both the world yk. But this does not mean that you have no social life at all. BALANCE is the key.

6. (If) Since you're starting from 11th itself make sure to build your concepts. 10th to 11th is such a major change it's difficult for almost every student to cope up so make sure to not create loads of backlog.

7. Take your tests VERY VERY seriously.

8. Don't burden yourself with 50 books, try to revise the same book 50 times. And NCERT, holy shit that book is lethal. Idk if it happens with everyone but everytime I read a page i find something new than i did before. It is so annoying lol.

9. Also very important thing is to choose your teachers and stick with them till the end if you take any online coaching like unacademy or PW etc. I made the mistake of not sticking to the same teacher initially and ended up wasting two months so that is important.

10. Just wanna let you know that yes this exam is important but it's not the end of our lives so we don't need to make it a big deal. Just go with the flow.

Also I'd like to say that only choose this if YOU want to be a doctor. Not because someone else expects something from you or because you want to be rich lol. That's literally the biggest misconception about being a doctor.

[feignedperfect]

How do you feel about Hal

   SUCH A GOOD QUESTION i have so many thoughts on hal omg . like at first i was not a fan at all bc he comes off like a total tool and at first glance it seems like he and alice really don’t like each other much . i got the vibe that they might love each other on some level bc they have kids together and they’ve spent so long together & definitely care about each other at least but they don’t like each other at all ?? like any time she does anything that’s remotely  ’ alice like ’ he’s so put out and its just like ‘ why did you marry her then ?? ’ to me it seemed like a lot of the pressure she puts on herself must be from him and that perfection was a big deal to hal and then ofc the stuff with polly but actually since i’ve been rewatching i’ve changed my mind a lot .

like he still isn’t my favourite character or anything but i’ve been trying to look at it from a different lens and i’ve decided he’s not that bad. like obviously he still has a lot of faults but almost everyone on the show is an asshole so how harshly can we really judge at this point ?? lmao

we haven’t got to see too much of hal yet really, so i may end up being wrong but rn i think he’s a decent guy who loves his family but is also very stubborn. i think from what we’ve seen of him its clear he places a lot of value into FAMILY LEGACY, which was likely instilled in him quite young, and that’s what influences a lot of his poor choices. he didn’t tell alice or the kids about being related to the blossoms because he’s been told its a shameful family secret , one he may have intended to die with him . like - dumbass move dude get your shit together but idk maybe he was trying to protect them from it in a way ?? idk but srsly bro if you wanted your kid to stop dating her cousin - maybe yk tell them they’re cousins ?????

and then booking the abortion the way he did was obvs about the incest which he eventually copped to and you can see when it dawn’s on alice and she’s like ‘so that’s why’ and he’s just ‘yeah alice, THAT’S why’ to me it felt like there was a lot unspoken there and that was his way of letting her know that he never would have had the circumstances been any different. which actually makes me pretty curious what his reaction might have been had she gotten pregnant to anyone else - maybe he would have supported her keeping it after knowing how much it hurt alice losing their son ? who knows man

and then on to he and alice :  i think their relationship is honestly the most complicated and layered on the show and needs to be explored more for sure bc they have such a big issue with communication to the point of being heartbreaking, but they also seem to have this incredible ability to forgive at the same time ( if not completely then at least enough to move forward ) and this weird dependancy on each other i find really interesting.

it’s easy to write them off as a marriage of convenience but it just doesn’t make sense to me for alice, being who she is to marry/stay with someone she DIDN’T LOVE, its not in her character.

like what happened with polly —-  she was DEVASTATED to find out he’d done that after all they’d been through. she was actually ready to walk away even though she’d been able to forgive him enough for doing it to her to marry him and have two more children.

then she finds out the reason and how the two of them were cousins etc and you can see her face when he says it, this wave of understanding goes over her and you can almost see her decide to forgive him and after that they go get polly and he’s moved back in. and it can’t just be for the sake of keeping up an image,  she had kicked him out already, the illusion of perfect was over so there was no reason to take him back unless she GENUINELY loved him.

and while some of the things he does have me side eying him hard af i’ve started to see the way he talks to alice ( not when they’re fighting, just in general ) as them just being MarriedTM lol like yes he rolls his eyes at her a lot but i don’t think its about him not liking her anymore, i think its just that they’ve been together so long now that he’s just like ‘ omg not again really pls ’ lmao but not even in a bad way . and i love that when she starts going overboard he’ll be like ‘alice’ or touch her or something and she’ll calm down and then like when they were in that city hall meeting he’s just sitting with is arm around her, not touching her but theres that closeness. then in the deleted scene after the meeting she has her arms linked around his which i think was really cute.

or like the scene where penelope slaps her , i loved seeing them interact there because he just puts his hand on her and he’s making sure she’s okay and talking her down, etc —-  mostly, i feel, because he knows if she does hit penelope she’s gonna hate hearing people gossip about her etc bc she’s so conscious of that.

i’ve also been trying to think of why tf she would stay w him after he had her give up their first kid, which she views as her biggest regret and i feel like he probably visited her a lot at the sisters and just sat w her and talked to her about whatever she wanted / about what their future would be like / helped her study so she didn’t fall behind bc she probably would have wanted to get a scholarship for college and just tried to be there for her however he could and maybe that helped her get through it IDK

the only thing i can think of is that she honestly really loved him and she knew he was right about them not being ready for a baby even though he handled it badly and at the time she was just young and thinking more about her own future. maybe it wasn’t until later that she started to regret it? like maybe when she had polly that she really started to regret not keeping him

i’m sure she felt some regret before that of course. felt that pull to him as her child but she was still a child herself really and i think it would’ve been seeing polly and all the milestones that come with having a child that would have made her realise what she missed out on with her first / would have made her wish she had have kept him.

i think when she was pregnant it would’ve felt like the end of the world and she would’ve had to give up all her dreams to have him and she was probably scared she’d end up living in a trailer park etc in the lifestyle she grew up in , but then after polly she thought differently. she realised well i could’ve had him in daycare or gone to a community college that would’ve been more lenient so she could’ve managed both etc.

i feel like I’m not even answering your question anymore at this point lmao

i think his parents would have played a huge part and you can tell by the way he told that story about his grandfather he’s very family orientated so pressure from his parents probably influenced him A LOT but i also think had she decided to keep the baby he’d have stuck by her.  i think it was his parents offered to pay for an abortion and probably paid to have her go to the sisters. and i think it would have meant a lot to her if he came to visit / kept coming back hat in hand trying to make amends and keep their relationship going bc she probably assumed he’d want nothing to do with her after. i feel like he’d have been really apologetic about the whole thing though.

i also feel like his mother is probably really intense and thats where alice takes on a lot of her 'perfect wife/mother’ act bc a lot of the show centres around the becoming your parents sort of thing but for alice i feel like it was mother-in-law. you can tell all perfect Mrs. Cooper posturing is very very put on so she has to be getting it from somewhere. and i feel like hal definitely became his father unintentionally with the way he’s holding onto old family feuds and offering to pay for polly’s abortion. i don’t think he would have been like that as a younger man.

i’ve also been thinking a lot about how alice and hal might’ve gotten together in the first place and i like the idea that it was because of her writing that he took a real interest. like he would’ve taken notice of her already bc she’s beautiful but probably wrote her off bc she was from the southside and idk maybe one day they’ve all had to read their own piece to the class or their work has been passed around etc and he’s realised theres a lot more to her than just the southside.

i’m really curious why he originally took interest in her bc we can pretty much guess her reason at least originally would’ve been this hope of having a better life but i think there must’ve been a lot more to him as well we just haven’t seen yet bc otherwise i think she could’ve easily had her pick of northside boys.

and from what i can tell they seem to be a marriage of equals for the most part, which i’m sure is something thats really important to her and that makes me like them together.

[jewel-s-blog]

about me + bias list

 hi there, I’m jewel :)

she/her/hers ・ 20 ・ kpop (writing) blog

Yes, Jewel is my real name although my parents admit I was supposed to be named elizabeth but changed their minds last minute after I was born how cute and I’m currently in university. I study political science and japanese for those wondering (because yes, I am japanese and it’s helpful when you live in hawaii to have that degree yk?). If any of this stuff is even mildly interesting and you have any curiosities, pls feel free to ask me!

I try to write some things when I can, so feel free to take a look at my masterlist. I also read A LOT of fics on this site, so also peep my recs if you feel like it. Warning: its mostly fluff and angst and almost always includes smut but there’s some really good stuff worth reading still! 

Feel free to talk to me :) i don’t have any kpop friends irl :( all my friends are locals smh 

I try my hardest to be active as much as possible but it’s taken me over a year to finally get used to tumblr lol marklee and i both struggle with complex technology i guess Of course, there are times when I get busy with college and will probably seem to drop off the face of the planet exam season kills but now that I’ve been in quarantine for a month, I figured now is the best time to start building an active tumblr routine. 

That’s all for now! Keep reading below for my bias list :)

xoxo, jewel <3

Bias List 

Before I begin, I will warn that this is basically a giant NCT shxtpost. With LOTS of hyperlinks for educational purposes and absolute crackhead-ery. I’ll eventually make a separate list for other groups I stan, but this blog is mainly NCT and this is already so long so I’ll leave it as this. Enjoy!

Biases are bolded in the beginning of each unit, so you can skip everything after if you don’t wanna see my ramblings following it.

A/N: After biasing nearly every member in NCT/WayV I’ve settled for now on my biases for each unit. This will most likely rotate fairly regularly as I literally fall in love with a different member every day cited here. solo stan? I don’t know her.

ULT

Jaehyun  *ahem excuse me i mean* 

Johnny Suh, it’s official. Don’t know how to explain, but I love everything about him. In the end, it’s always him. damn i sound like y/n thoughts but istg it’s true From SM Rookies to NCT Life to MV behinds, he’s the one. But I’ve also come to realize that I find myself most relatable to him as a person and I think that’s why no one else can trump him wow narcissist much jewel It’s kind of just my gut feeling. It also helps that hes the fluffiest tall, muscular tight booty hottie on the planet. See this black on black dance practice for further scientific explanation even in this jaehyun trying to wreck me so badddddd

Not gonna lie, I HAD IT BAD FOR MARK LEE still do and yet Johnny overcame that. If mark lee were my first love, johnny is my soulmate.

UPDATE! 

Lee Jeno has officially been added to the ult list. *See the entirety of my april activity on my sns accounts if you would like to see how this happened haha :)

NCT U  

im in love with him bc he literally reminds me of my boyfriend -- i like chill guys ok

Taeil is my little teddy bear who looks great in red hair and has a voice form heaven. Evidence? Here you go. He didn’t stand out to me much in the beginning because I was either deaf or blind but after Chain, the game was OVER. +moon taeil in shorts?? serve them thighs honey. Love you bebe tomato <3

BUT Doyoung is the #1 bias wrecker here because have you seen his cover of beautiful on masked singer?? have you?? if not, let me educate you. Also his collab with Sejeong?? Literally the cutest MV ever, perfect for Christmas, listened to it every year since it’s release.

Listen to Coming Home - NCT U for further scientific evidence that NCT has top vocals in the kpop industry.

NCT 127

THE Jung Jaehyun. For reasons that need no explanation. but ill give it anyway smh

After watching the performance of herin and jaehyun singing a whole new world I knew that was it for me. (I still watch it once a month for my jaehyun-related health and to honor SM’s biggest loss, seo herin and ji hansol but thats for another conversation) back to jaehyun His vocals are unique in NCT and bring a nice color to their songs, the man looks good in literally anything, and I’ll probably say this about every member, but I love his dance style--body rolls for days sis. Definitely my ideal type, which my boyfriend is 100% aware of; no secrets in my relationship ofc which explains the wreckage. Pretty sure 81% of the fandom gets wrecked by him daily, so I think I’ll stop here. 

NCT Dream 

Renjun.  why? i just think he’s neat but no really, it was this performance (ok actually this got me ALL SORTS OF WRECKED) and this fancam that had me falling in love with him but were gonna ignore the fact that I get bias wrecked DAILY by all the other members  GOd-tier vocals, personality for daysssssss, variety KING HUANG RENJUN. Safe to claim that I go into renjun feels about 3x a week. Check my twitter for proof. +dnyl renjun was a blessing and I sometimes cant believe that it actually happened. How do I explain?? He’s literally the best boy, but when he gets all worked up....let’s stop there before I have to go to confession again.

But for fun, lets list why I have biased every dream member at some point shall we? (in no particular order) Dream might just be my ult group, songs always bop, members at star quality 

mark- yes i am including mark bc he was the reason i even started stanning dream dreamies leader since mmc days, mentor, A1 rap skills, ad libs go crazy, unparalleled dancing style, hardest worker, cutest watermelon advocate ever, all around amazing person can you tell he used to be my ult? + he’s a good christian boy and my catholic *ss has to confess my sins for being a simp for him 24/7

chenle- vocal GOD, most steady live vocals in kpop, laugh to die for

jeno- i cannot resist his eye smile i wanna cuddle and onstage charisma-2:54 “let’s goooooo” and i alskfdfjlkdldkfa. 

jaemin- “other than my members, i don’t have any friends” and yet he’s literally the most caring and wonderful little puff in existence fight me pls dont im a pacifist 

heachan- idk why but donghyukie feels like he could be my best friend and also cant stop staring at him in their dance practices his body proportions are unreal and his vocal ad libs?? don’t even get me STARTED on heachans vocals

jisung- he is my son, but also my son’s vocals?? MWAH that voice got me second guessing if he’s really my son 

WayV 

Ten Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul another member where it kinda just....happened? In the end I was like “damn, when did you sneaky bugger get in my heart?” He’s got a similar vibe as Johnny AND DO NOT COME FOR MY THROAT FOR SAYING THAT THATS MY OPINION Like Johnny, I see myself in Ten. There are so many reasons why I love Ten, so I’ll make it simple and provide them to you. 

Reason 1 - Performance/dance  he just hit different, he’s THAT good. Reason 2 - vocals the amount his vocals has improved?? UNMATCHED. Reason 3 - INTELLECTUAL (still trying to find the clip of him talking about different kinds of love) Reason 4 - multi-lingual KING ok so this vid is him struggling in mandarin, but imagine, you speak thai and english and learn korean to debut and all of a sudden your agency says “ok learn chinese now.” MANDARIN IS ONE OF THE HARDEST LANGUAGES TO LEARN. Reason 5 - bad b*tch he just radiates bad bitxh energy in everything he does, and I appreciate a bad bitxh

BUT I love wayv’s chaotic energy and chemistry so much that I literally love them all dreamies watch out 

+special shoutout to xiaojuns vocals in Love Talk

+kun being a dimpled zaddy (jaehyun&kun type CONFIRMED)

+lucas holding binoculars like THAT @ 1:10

+yangx2 doing THIS (prepare to be blown away)

+hendery being a the best teacher 

+winwin BEING WINWIN THE DANCE GOD 

+winwin AGAIN and with Ten here i don’t even think i have to say that i tweeted about this everyday for a month and im still not over it. This specific dance really allowed winwin to shine even though ten is my bias. It really allowed others to see the fruit of his classical training even in modern dance which he never trained in. Not gonna be repetitive and SCREAM  say that he’s underrated, because we all know that already. Just show winwin some love, ok? thank you.

And so finally, we’ve reached the end. Phew, this took me almost 5 hours to put together because I definitely got carried away. For those who made it all the way to the end, thank you, I love you. It’s so messy and I don’t have the mental capacity to do anymore editing but I hope you got something from this massive post <3 Feel free to let me know what you think! xoxo, jewel