#fuck indian whores for making this system like this

[freecornland]

food for thought (or not, maybe just rants)

tw: mental health, anxiety, depression, trauma

so i kinda broke down yesterday morning. twice in less than a week. and i've been wondering.

(this is a really huge rant and i just needed to get it out so um? read on your own accord lol)

how many of us really adored learning things before pandemic came on and it made us realise we've been dealing with a lot of trauma and pressure but just coped up by romanticising studies? and ended up breaking down to shreds in the lockdown?

earlier, this used to make feel shit, guilty and ashamed. bc some of us, this group of people, some of us still grind their ass off and work hard and don't "let it get to them". and i couldn't. idk if it's my fault or if people are allowed to not be stupid strong all the time. i don't think it's called being strong.

school has been so weird for me. most of the time i didn't have ecs and even if i did, someone in the family being sick, or we shift, or smthn all the time so i didn't really have fun in my childhood. i didn't have interests or hobbies i genuinely enjoyed and felt relaxed with. 9th started, everyone's like "these two years work your ass off, you'll do great" and then the pressure for 10th boards was so insane when in reality the exams weren't yk that bad? i didn't study like, day and night and giving up my life (bc i didn't have a life lmao) but i was pretty serious about it. the pressure tho. fuck that dude, it was just too much; all devices cut and no fun times nothing. just study study study. gave the exams panicking all the time.

that much pent up frustration, anxiety and depression all came tumbling in the lockdown bc now it's a new world w a little too much freedom. what happens when you stop a rusted but excellently working machine that's been grinding for 10 years? it breaks down. it doesn't pause or take a break, it just breaks down completely.

that happened w me i guess. start of 11th, i went to a "camp" college (bc parents didnt even look up normal pcmb schools even when i was chanting it all year). these ppl finished half the syllabus in 2 months and i was already dealing w anxiety all my life so this just bass boosted it. i procrastinated out of dread and then voila six months into the college i had the biggest breakdown of my life (very terrible and i don't think i'll elaborate). an actual depressive episode for two and half weeks until my parents freak out and shift schools. we try therapy but i'm a minor so that person sucked ass and said i was pretentious.

at this point i lost my motivation and interest and energy in life. and my dad wouldn't shut up about "you have very less time" when i still had a fucking year and half for jee. my brain just got hardwired into "i don't have time" and it went to "i dont have time so how does it matter lmao" bc i'm a perfectionist who settles for mediocrity (stole this ye)....

....and now it sucks for me bc i have "less time" for real. but but but, i'm sick of people telling me i could do better. i couldn't. i might be responsible for my career but, is this my fault :/

is it my fault that i couldn't be "strong" and deal w all this? and that i just survived, nothing more nothing less, and have been surviving all my life? sighe.

[budugaapologist]

my honest opinions of the ac games (theres only 4 good ones)

AC1: you cant pay me money to play this i do not care dude nothing in this interests me because of the mechanics in it. the only things i like from this game are maria and malik and calling altaïr altaïqueer other than that i dont give a shit.

AC2: not good. hype not deserved. combat system sucks as well as the parkour and thats like the selling point of the games.

Brotherhood: same as above; not good/hype not deserved. stalking isnt sexy btw.

Revelations: the only ezihoe game i "liked" but even then i just really hate ezio, id rather play as sofia.

Chronicles: i dont have a desire to play them though i do consider the china one. only problem is guess what fucking bitch is in it.

AC3: as an american the main story is the most boring thing ever. running around in the homestead and frontier is the only part that is good. the naval combat is dog shit.

Liberation: i cannot tell you what happens in the story. i have played this maybe four times. i dont remember anything but the beginning and end. it was fun to explore but the audio in the game is just bad. i think this would be cool as like a pixel game.

AC4 Black Flag: i still have dreams about this game. the story is very good and all of the side characters aside from burgess and cockram have their own rememberable characteristics. graphically its beautiful ecen on ps3 and with some really unconventionally attractive characters. the side content isnt overwhelming and the hacking is a nice change of pace from battling ships and taking forts. its genuinely super well balanced and edward is a relatable character. i would prefer more equality with the clothing on the male/female assassins since. well. either make them both whores or both prudes. but other than that its a great game, the naval combat isnt hard it just takes a few battles to practice. also you can play this game without any other prior ac experience, i know this because i did and i loved it on the first play through. ever since then every other ac game is disappointing aside from Syndicate and Origins.

Freedom Cry: if you so much as try to argue that this isnt worth playing i'll kill you. if you play r*gue and dont consider playing this i genuinely believe you are racist. playing AC4 i think that FC is mandatory after it. this is the only expansion i condone spending money on. im not spoiling anything. play the fucking game.

R*gue: its racist. i said what i said.

Unity: you know when pretty people have no personality? okay but now make that a game. i will reblog gifsets of this game but no. i will not play it again. also?? theyre not even french theyre british you tellin me a canadian company couldnt get french VAs?

Syndicate: literally so easy so stupid i love it. i feel so good at video games when i play it. i recommend it to people a lot because its "inclusive" (i feel more indian people wouldve been nice. also a lot of the women are just evie 2) and its easy to relate to either jacob or evie. the story isnt that great but its fun to follow along with anyway and the side content isnt super overwhelming. i love how gross they made london look its a great touch.

Origins: i also recommend this one. basically i only recommend AC4, FC, Syndicate, and Origins. i find the drama of this one real good, its a revenge story that is compelling especially if you have a kid or have dealt with child loss. the second game to ever make me shocked after a death (first was ac4 with thatch). i also love the fights with the gods and i really love the african biome and i think its super overlooked in media, i think more rpg games set in african-esque areas would be cool. honestly the only thing that keeps me from playing this game over is i always get busy halfway through a playthrough. also that one elephant mission terrified me. i think about kensa and khaliset and taharqa and shadya a lot.

Odyssey: when it comes down to it this game is boring. idk what you want me to say its really boring. lgbt cash grab. way overhyped, its not that interesting and theres just too much in the game. it suffers from prioritizing quantity over quality. sure theres some great lines in the game and a few okay characters but a lot of if not all the characters are one dimensional and bland, as well as the movements and facial expressions. i think the ac franchise shouldve been wrapped up in origins, this wouldve worked better alone.

Valhalla: ugh where to begin... i couldnt even get halfway through this game. this is just Skyrim without the dragons and todd howard. and what is Skyrim without todd? boring and uneventful, apparently. why on earth are we able to change history so much in a game franchise that was originally about reliving history? just make the main character a woman if theyre supposed to be one, like in odyssey, the "having an option to be a man" is so fucking stupid. if being a female character makes AAA games unsellable riddle me Horizon Zero Dawn and Tomb Raider. this should have been a spin off game or a stand alone project.

anyway, those are my thoughts. no, i will not being playing any new ac games. at this point the only ac games i dont have blocked in my tag sections are black flag, liberation, origins, and syndicate (and unity but thats because i do enjoy looking at it. pretty but no personality, like i said).

if youve never played an AC game before, the only ones you should play if youre interested are black flag, freedom cry, syndicate, and origins, in that order or with syndicate first, though seeing as freedom cry and origins are very heavy games having a stupid one in the middle can help balance the anger and tears.

for those that have played ac games, obviously this is my opinion and you may have other opinions, but i dont honestly care, no arguing that 'actually blah blah is a good game' on this post im not gonna listen, make your own post ♡. im pretty fed up with most of the stuff that comes out of the franchise anyway.

at the end of the day, play what you want and dont ;) pirate the four ac games i recommend if you are interested in them that would be sooo bad haha ;).

[gotnofucks]

I’m sorry that I’m bombarding you with this but I need to put this somewhere and as I know you’re Indian, I hope you’ll understand where I am coming from.

So both of my parents are super educated and (I like to think that) they are open minded.

We were talking today and somehow the topic of divorce came up and I said why it’s necessary to make divorce as less of a taboo as possible so people who are forced to stay in abusive relationships due to society’s pressure can get out of it without feeling like shit. I also said that some parent’s tell their daughter to adjust instead of leaving the marriage, even to start trying for a baby so the wife will ‘give a chance to the husband to change/redeem himself now that he’s a father’ (which is fucking bullshit). I gave my parents an example of a husband beating his wife and what she should do in that case and my dad literally told me that there’s no fight in the would that can’t be fixed (again, bullshit. I don’t want to fix shit with a man who thought it was okay to hit me)

And my dad totally lost his shit when I told him that I don’t agree with that shit and that I still think people should leave that marriage if they are getting physically, emotionally, mentally abused and there’s nothing to fix.

By the end of the argument, we’ve went a shit ton of rounds of me explaining why a wife doesn’t have to baby her husband and definitely doesn’t have to stay with that man who’s abusive and my father explaining to me why doing that is OKAY and the husband and wife should just ADJUST.

So by the end I was in tears because I was so fucking exhausting and super frustrated. I couldn’t believe that they are literally thinking like that. I asked my mom what will she tell me if I told her my husband is abusing me and she said that she’ll tell me to leave so that makes me feel kinda safe??? But not really because my dad didn’t say anything.

One thing I took from this shit show was that if my husband ever did that to me, I would never ever go to my parents and just give him the divorce papers because I can’t take shit from 3 people at a time.

You don’t have to answer this, i guess I just needed to vent.

Honey, I am so sorry about this. But I cannot tell you just how many times I've had the EXACTLY SAME conversation with my parents. In fact, this was one of the reasons that cemented my decision of never getting married because I love myself too much to put me through this shit.

I've heard so many elders say that today's generation doesn't know how to keep a stable relationship and how we don't value family. That we don't "compromise" and "adjust".

The thing is, we shouldn't have to. Mainly because people expect the woman to be "adjusting" and "compromising" but never the man. The wife should leave the job. The wife should leave her house and parents and move in with the husband. The wife should love her in laws more than she loved her own parents. The wife should change her dietary habits. The wife should change the way she dresses. The wife should listen to abuses but never speak them. The wife should take a slap but not complain. Why? Because she's a woman and it's her job.

I call it bullshit. The whole indian institution of marriage is based on a bullshit foundation where wife is supposed to be subservient to her husband. She's supposed to be the maid, the second mother, the whore and his breeding machine. She's supposed to clean and cook and fuck and pop out babies, but she should never demand shit. Because God made her a woman and she is weaker and not at the same level. Oh god I could vomit.

When I hear divorce rates in India are on the rise, I feel fucking happy. My sisters and mothers are finding their own voice and agency and are choosing themselves over the sham of a relationship their marriage was. Leave that toxic relationship and partner who had no respect for you.

The only advice I can ever give to anyone on this matter is to be shamelessly selfish. Put yourself first. Fuck everyone, including your parents who feel that social approval is more important than your safety and happiness. Those who ever ask you to stay in an abusive relationship don't ever have any good intentions for you. So be what the society calls a bitch. Be rude. Be independent. Curse and call out those who support this system of patriachy. Be loud. Be crass. Be a woman who refuses to bend.

Be Lilith, who refused to serve Adam. She may have been demonised, but she was a woman unto herself. Find that power sister, and fuck everyone else.

[missskzbiased]

OH i think for the first question it's like for example I'm indonesian, and for some reason a lot of foreigners think we're indians even if we're totally different. Or because Indonesia and malaysia are so similar, people sometimes mistake us for being malay and vice versa. Something like that. Hope it makes sense now 🤣 im bad at explaining yikes

LOL what is the meaning of "Puta que Pariu" though if I may ask? Sounds interesting 😂

And omg thats nice that your cinema is exploring a lot of things. Here it kinda sucks altho some directors are really good and stuff but actual good movies don't really sell among the general population cause theyd rather eat up cheap soap operas 😔

I relate abt the history too skjsksjs

Its so cool that the healthcare system is good like i wanna relate abt how the gov is corrupt and im ashamed of it but its also worse cos healthcare system here is not so good 😭 its getting better though

Aahsska i wish i could see more of accurate representation of other cultures in hollywood. Stereotypes was fun but its old now x_x (and potentially harmful? Yea)

Srry for the long ask skdjksns

OH! Got it! I think we’re mistaken for any Spanish speaker. I’m Brazilian, so we speak Portuguese. And Portuguese and Spanish sound similar. It’s quite normal for people think that something in Portuguese is Spanish. Chan, for example, thought “Ai se eu te pego” was Spanish. He even apologized about it kkkkk (Which is quite funny because we don’t really care kkkkk We kinda judge but we’re like “LOL”)

The most similar to “Puta que Pariu” would be “Holy Shit” but it’s not really it. If we say it word by word it would be “Bitch who gave birth” kkkk The actual swear is “Puta” which is “Bitch/Whore” and we have a lot of variations to it (Holy shit would be more like “Puta Merda” but anyway)

EDIT: Motherfucker is quite similar too. It could also be “Filho da Puta” but this one would be better translated to “Son of a bitch”, So I guess motherfucker could give a better dimension. Not sure.

I just don’t really like history in general kkkk

And yep! It would be nice. People think we have beaches and forests and monkeys. And that’s it. Oh, and Favela and crimes. And now that we have a fucking moron as a president.

Our have a lot of problems too but the project itself is really good and it could be perfect if they just did what they had to do instead of stealing the bloody money from the hospitals

And no problem! sauhshuauhsauhasuhuhsa I like long asks. Wish I could do them too Ç.Ç but desktop limits my characters.

[sauveteen]

what do you think of Gandhi? I read some open eyes stuff about him lately and I want to know your opinion on him, if you don't mind of course

okay okay so it’s like... a case of the lesser of two evils? in a sense? but for the life of me, i cannot tell if what he did for the country can erase all the evil he’s done in his life. bear with me because this will be.. kind of long.

tw: racism, the holocaust, mentions of sexual assualt/r*pe

on one hand,

he beat his wife, wouldn’t sleep with her when they got old (compared her to a weak cow), and made young, underage, naked girls sleep next to him throughout the night to test his celibacy (i don’t fucking understand this— hinduism does not ask you to be a celibate after marriage. he was not a saint.)

he was misogynistic as fuck; he participated in victim shaming, supported rape culture, said honour killing was okay because a victim of sexual assault would taint her family’s honour and respect in society. he believed a woman getting harassed was her own fault.

again, about his wife, can’t tell you the shit he put her through. he refused to give her modern medicine (penicillin i think, but don’t quote me on this), ultimately leading to her death, but used modern medicine when he came down with malaria to nurse himself back to health? apparently the reasons for not giving her the medicine were ‘religious’. religion doesn’t apply to gandhi, it seems

GANDHI WAS RACIST. while in south africa he actively supported the apartheid regime, said he was treated badly because he was an indian all while treating black people like scum (said that black africans were savages and ‘living a life of nakedness’, was hellbent on convincing the british that the indian community in south africa was better than the natives). he said jews should’ve killed themselves (public mass suicide) in the holocaust to prove a point, as they were dying anyway. he criticised them for defending themselves.

was against contraception (women who used them were whores) and menstruation was unholy and dirty.

was a baby, and hear me out on this. he went on hunger strikes the moment someone went against him— that is not how you lead. when ambedkar wanted seperate constituencies for the underprivileged (here, meaning the dalits), he declared a fast unto death until the motion was taken away. [for the record, i think seperate constituencies were the wrong way to go too, but you cannot guilt someone into dropping something they so wholeheartedly believe in. ambedkar was a dalit himself. he knew fucking better than a privileged upper class man who had the luxury to go abroad for a higher education in times when that was unthought of.]

(there’s probably more that i’m missing out on, and will find links so you can read up more)

on the other hand,

although he did not believe that the caste system should be abolished, he supported the harijans, voiced their struggles, and played a big part in reducing untouchability in the country

taught a large, vulnerable section of the youth about ahimsa (the principle of non violence) at a time where the country was in turmoil, when civil strifes, public violence, riots, etc. seemed to be the only path that led to independence

paved the way for a sort of ‘social harmony’ in india

successfully led a non violent tax revolt, the salt march to dandi, the first non cooperation movement. he had the wits to call it quits, when there was a need. he didn’t push movements that would harm others, called some movements off after the jallianwala bagh massacre.

saying that, he did make himself the figure of independence in india. [i do not believe he was the reason— i think credit should be given to bhagat singh, subhash chandra bose, sukhdev thapar. gandhi made himself the forerunner, but these are the ones who pushed the movement that brought india to independence] he became a leading figure when india had the desperate need for one, and united different fronts (religions, caste, ages) into one unified fight for the motherland.

it pains to know that this is the kind of man our country applauds, and yet, we cannot discredit what he has done for the freedom struggle. i do not think he is our saviour, but he was sure was a catalyst. having said that, he doesn’t deserve to be the man on our currency. good does not erase evil.

[hissprince]

Writing Ask Games

tagged by @ink-nguyen and I immediately forgot about it

I’m doing this for Coat of Scales 

1. Describe the plot in one sentence.

Elion Veris is a prince forced into exile by his Regent, and he’s not buff enough to take it back by force, so he has to figure out how to talk his way in--and out--of every possible political nightmare scenario.

2. Pick one sight, smell, sound, feel, and taste to describe the aesthetic of your novel.

a silver crown perched on swathes of black and purple velvet

the smell of a forest during a rainstorm

a grandmother singing Slavic lullabies to her grandchild, underscored by the crackle of a fire

being wrapped in a blanket and held in the arms of someone you love

turkish coffee and warm honey-bread

3. Which 3+ songs would make up a playlist for the novel?

Run Boy Run - Woodkid

Stay Frosty, Royal Milk Tea - Fall Out Boy

Two Evils - Bastille

4. What’s the time period and location in which the novel takes place.

I never stuck an exact pin in it, but I’d estimate vaguely 1600s-1700s? I don’t know man I had to make my own calendar system. as far as location goes, the main settings are Apres, Sidra, Krey, and Fille. Apres is sort of Hellenic in feeling and aesthetic, with a heavy emphasis on sea trade and travel. Sidra is very Persian with a bit of Mughal Indian influence. Krey and Fille are inspired by Eastern Europe, especially Russia and Ukraine, although Krey has a distinctly Celtic flavor to some of its customs. 

5. Is this a standalone or a part in a series?

it’s the first in the Kingsnake Trilogy which I’m probably going to have to work on for Many Years

6. Are there any former titles you’ve considered but discarded?

Coat of Scales was actually the original title, but I briefly switched it to something else before deciding I didn’t like it as much LMAO. also, the original file name was “fantasy costco” so there’s that.

7. What’s the first line of your novel?

‘Elion Veris jolted up in bed, his book falling to the floor with a loud thump.’

8. What’s a dialogue you’re particularly proud of?

I actually like a lot of my dialogue tbh so you get Several

Chapter 2:

“Now, now, you may not be particularly handsome, but there’s no need for insult—ow!” Simon yelped as Elion struck him squarely in the forehead with an apricot.

“There are plenty more,” Elion said, tossing an apricot from one hand to the other. “Choose your next words carefully. I see one that’s definitely overripe.”

Simon pursed his lips. “I love you, Elion?”

“No,” Elion deadpanned, punctuated by the distinct sound of splattering fruit and an indignant screech. “Choose more carefully next time.”

Chapter 11

Either he was lucky, or Saturn noticed his discomfort. “You weren’t here earlier, when I came back from the barracks. Where’d you run off to?”

“Janus and Tethys wanted to talk to me.” It was only half a lie. “They told me you have quite the reputation.”

Saturn groaned. “Of course they did. Look, it was years ago. I was young and I was stupid. It was a temporary thing, I’m not—like that anymore.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“You think me a whore?” Saturn said, mocking offense. “Shame on you! I’m a reformed whore!”

“Re-whore-med, then, is it?” Elion replied. Saturn threw a piece of radish at him.

“You’re not funny,” Saturn huffed, but his tightly-pursed lips said otherwise. There was a warmth in his eyes that had been missing before. Elion was almost bold enough to call it trust.

Chapter 14: (wow a sneak peek)

"You’re not going to do it, are you?” she said in Fillesian. 

“What do you mean?”

“Kill Saturn.” Phyrra’s voice was emotionless. “You’re not going to do it.”

Elion narrowed his eyes. When he responded, it was in Apresian. “Why would you think that?”

“You’re becoming fond of him.”

“I have not.” He switched to Fillesian. “He touches me constantly. I hate it.”

“But you don’t panic when he does it.”

“You don’t know that!” Elion snapped, his voice turning into a sharp hiss. “You think I can lose control every time I’m afraid? You think I can get away with that? I’m not putting myself at risk by fighting back!”

For once,  Phyrra hesitated. She dropped her gaze to the floor, breathing out slowly as her shoulders relaxed. “Oh, Elion,” she sighed. “They’ve made you into something terrible.”

9. Which line from the novel most represents it as a whole?

“He took everything from me,” Elion spat, the words like venom on his tongue. “Everything I had, and everyone I loved. He killed my mother and Mana and left Simon to bleed out like a dog in the public square, and he looked me in the eyes and laughed.” His body trembled, but his voice was steady, and he stared Jastra down with iron in his mouth. “This was never about the kingdom.”

10. Who are your character faceclaims?

I’m going to be completely honest, the only faceclaim I could find for Elion is Keira Knightley. Saturn and Phyrra are borderline impossible to pin down so I haven’t found anyone for them yet. Janus is definitely Adonis Bosso, and Tethys is a young Riz Ahmed.

11. Sort your characters into Harry Potter houses!

Elion - Slytherin

Saturn - Gryffindor

Phyrra - Ravenclaw

Tethys - Hufflepuff

Janus - Ravenclaw

Simon - Hufflepuff

12. Which character’s name do you like the most?

Elion is a personal fave but I’m a huge fan of Saturn, Janus, and Tethys bc all the Vaerion are named after the planet Saturn’s moons. look how clever I am.

13. Describe each character’s daily outfit.

Elion - white linen shirts with intricate botanical embroidery around the neck and cuffs, a vest in either dark purple or black with silver embroidery around the collar, a jacket in colors and embroidery patterns to coordinate with the vest, and either a long black and silver coat for court functions or a black cloak. tight black riding pants and tall black boots. a goth icon.

Saturn - in the summer, usually a white chiton with red embroidery on the hem, his cloak, and sandals. the rest of the year, loose dark linen pants and a light cotton shirt in various shades of red or ivory-white, plus low leather boots. he wears his leather armor if he’s needed at the barracks. he has to be forced to wear shirts.

Phyrra - while in Apres, she wears long chitons with blue floral embroidery and a ton of bracelets. she actually goes barefoot whenever possible, but she’ll wear either sandals or embroidered slippers if she has to.

Janus and Tethys - dark linen pants and various shades of cotton shirts, with dark wool cloaks and mid-length leather boots. they share literally their entire wardrobe so I count them as one fashion entity. 

14. Do any characters have distinctive birthmarks/scars?

Elion has some scarring on his lower back, and the veins in his arms have a silver tint which I’m counting as a birthmark. Saturn has a scar across his lips that he earned in a knife fight when he was 14. 

15. Which character most fits a character trope?

Simon has a very “best friend and sidekick” sort of aura, but there’s a lot more going on with him than just that

16. Which character is the best writer? Worst?

Elion is a fantastic writer, since he realized from a young age that he’d need to be good with words to keep himself at the top of the pack, but Saturn is an incredibly close second—after all, he’s a poet. Simon is The Worst without question or competition.

17. Which character is the best liar? Worst?

Elion is definitely the best, since he’s had 19 years of practice. Saturn is the worst liar; his expression always gives him away bc he feels guilty about it.

18. Which character swears the most? Least?

I think so far Elion is actually the one who swears the most by stats, but in terms of Big Swear Energy it’s probably Janus. Jastra swears the least because she’s the Empress and she has a hell of a reputation to uphold, but I don’t think Simon has sworn at all. #letSimonsayfuck

19. Which character has the best handwriting? Worst?

Tethys has gorgeous handwriting, even if he doesn’t do a whole lot of writing most of the time. the prize for worst is tied between Janus and Phyrra; Janus bc he’s a doctor and it’s become illegible over time, and Phyrra just because she does not fucking care

20. Which character is most like you? Least like you?

I’m probably most like Elion and Phyrra tbh. Elion, because I’m very politically-minded and prefer to do things in underhanded ways, and Phyrra because I take no shit and tend to be more knife than person. I’m definitely the least like Janus because he has his shit together and I do Not.

21. Which character would you most like to be?

probably the king of Krey bc he has a castle and like 8 dogs and a really cool spouse and comparatively fewer past traumas 

I tag @poetatertot @satyr-syd and any of my other writer friends who want in on this!! if you don’t it’s cool bc this deadass took me over an hour LMAO

[stone-man-warrior]

January 12, 2021: 4:10 pm:

=================

now it says I cannot edit the post I made a few minutes ago, and is refering to an app.

I don't use an app. I access from the Tumblr.com website with a computer, not a phone.

and the place where the hashtags go are saying some reference to YouTube while using Tumblr.

Tumblr is hijacked by Google and Pope Bergoglio. But Pope Bergoglio is dead, died at Grants Pass Walmart about three weeks ago when he was cut in two by the guillote they put in the front entry from time to time, that day, was one of those times.

The means Google is at the Vatican without the Pope Bergoglio. The Tumblr slaves are crying for help in ways that they are able to, with changing the way the controles work, and wishing that someone would notice.

====================

Edit: 4:36 pm:

Assessment:

There is something fishy going on. Everywhere.

============================

Edit: 4:52 pm:

=======================

Edit: 4:54 pm:

“... and the operator say’s” ‘40 cents more for the next three minutes...”

That means the Operator was in on the call the whole time.

“Mrs. Avery” = Mrs. AV E R Y = Mrs. Audio/Visual + Power + Aaarrrgghh + “Y” signal splitter

“Mrs. Avery” = SAG Vatican terror pirate rerouting the call

It’s an avery, a place where birds are kept. Aviary (alternate spelling, Canadian accent, is Phoenician) A Coup.

The Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show song was from 1973.

The records available online say that the breakup of Bell Telephone & Telegraph (A/V) happened in 1982, but everyone knows that happened in the 1970′s. So, WT actual F is happening with that?

Y signal splitter’s work with the recorded history of the world the same as they do with pulsating signals. Truth splits to a dark place where no one can find it, a Gnosis Generator changes the truth, adds bullshit, removes some key information from the truth, then spits out the result for consumption by the people as Gnosis.

Sylvia, is gone. We are told she is moving away, never to be seen or heard from again. The operator wants more money, to keep you hanging on, to find out where Sylvia is at, and not hang up... they can‘t make any money if you hang up.

The Pope is a Crocodile (Croak-a-Dial)

==========================

Edit: 5:24 pm:

Diana Ross = Die on a Cross (she has to learn some Carpentry first, so she can build the cross the Christian Pirates are going to nail her to, See?

(Diana Ross is musical Royalty, in more ways than one, a Supreme Being)

Fast Forward to Princess Diana for Russian Mother Hoax Fractal View through a time warp paparazzi tunnel. (Paparazzi = Papa Arrgghh Nazzi = Pope Pirate Nazi). It’s not about black or white. It’s about acceptance of the Pirate Pope, or not)

===

From the Dr. Hook song I linked somewhere else:

“We got a genuine Indian Guru that’s teaching us a better way...”

It’s “Amp Guru”.

“Genuine” = Generates a Whine from a phone call, American Indian Style.

Remember what happened to all of the American Indians? (native Americans)

Then, add the phone hijack, the operator, “Turn water into wine” all boils down to “The Jim Dunlop” (all Pope, all the time, eternal Pope, Amp Guru at Vatican Choir HQ) on the phone call, listening all of the time. It must be a “Pay Phone” or the Operator would not be exposing herself like that (nun; Russian Whore). The “Turns Water into Wine” is the Modern Day Indian (you & me) all being turned into Whine... crying for help on he phone while trying to find Sylvia on a hijacked phone call where some asshole (nun) is pretending to be Sylvia’s Mother and is jacking US around on the call.

Jim Dunlop, maker of Cry Baby Wah... since 1966.

It’s a gas peddle (throttle) for “Axial Expression” (Axpression).

To Throttle, is to accelerate OR decelerate. (AKA: Buffer (time warp); Governor (leash; limiter)

On a phone call, it controls the speed at which you will decide to accept the Pirate Pope later on, after more effects are applied to the mix, and you slowly learn intuitively about the Christian Pirate Ship, it’s Captains, the size... enormity of the boat, and the French speaking scalawags who crew the thing. They need you and me to move the boat forward, we are the sail on the mast in the wind. We are Jesus. A sale on a pirate ship. nailed.

If you have a Bic Lighter, and learn about the Chi that resides within you, and also carry and use a fingernail clipper for defense, you can defeat the pirates.

A Chihuahua armed with hot sauce and sharp teeth.

================================

Edit: 6:05 pm:

Once again, the puzzle parts add up to reveal a glimpse into the Vatican, through the television screen, as it looked in 1965 - 1966 and thereabout, to see the Puppets of the Thunderbird’s TV show, “the Tracy’s at Volcano Island”, are “Amp Guru”, and “Amp Guru” is a culmination of all of the Pope’s throughout recorded history AD, materialized, as “The Jim Dunlop”, Captain of One Vatican Pirate Ship.

Read this account to see how that was decoded with a secret agent decoder ring from an old box of Cracker Jack’s over the past six years, and a lot of life experience.

===========================

Edit: 6:17 pm:

At the 1:25 minute mark, Jim Dunlop Amp Guru thugs are sent to hassle Jimmi, right there on stage. They Rush him, get all in his face while he’s performing and he does not even miss a lick.

He did not sign-up to be a Christian Pirate. He played left handed, with a right-handed guitar, upside down, to try to show you and me that there is something important to know about the guitar. He had plenty of Chi, was able to be among the very best of the best of guitar players, with a upside down and backwards guitar played on the opposite side.

Fucking Genius.

They sent Jimmi to the 27 Club, where he met Sylvia, they remain there with Janice Joplin, and others at the 27 Club Great Gig in the Sky.

==================

Edit: 6:31 pm:

============================

Edit: 6:41 pm:

Personal note:

This past week has included that my vision was very poor while trying to write, trying to see to cook some food, to see to walk around or do anything at all. But today something has changed, the local terror cells are not releasing the kind of poison gas that affects vision, I can see clearly today. That has not been the case this past week at all, and has been ongoing for many years as the local terror cells release a variety of poison gasses into the surrounding area, the “return air” vent on the forced air heating system draws the poison gasses into the house through the chimney, dryer vent, window “weep holes”, and other household venting and cracks and holes that exist in all houses. The windows are all closed, but the heater return air vent creates a negative pressure condition inside the house, and draws air in from outdoors where the air has been saturated with poisons released by the neighboring terror cells.

If it’s happening to me, it could be happening to you too.

My vision is perfect today, all day. Something changed outside.

That above is strange, it’s the 12th, but that grey area says it’s the 13th. The post there behind the grey area is titled “January 12, 2021: 3:57 pm:”

This one:

I am not able to make edits to that one, it’s locked up by Tumblr. If I try to make additional comment, that other blue message that says something about a Tumblr App shows up, prevents me from further additional comment.

If I could make additional comments to that other post featuring Donald Trump on the cover of the Rolling Stone, then, I would say more about what happened on January 6, 2021 at the Fred Meyer Gas Station when that Salem Oregon Government Bus showed up with the explosive guitar bombs inside, and Mark Keisel was there to make the hit to kill me, but exploded with others who were on that Salem Oregon Government Bus after I defended against Keisel. If I could make additional comments to that post above, on the actual post that’s is locked up and is not accessible for making further comment, then, I might be tempted to say that Donald Trump was also on the Salem Oregon Government Bus that was sent to kill me at the Fred Meyer Gas Station on the 6th of January, at precisely 3:36 pm (I have the receipt in my pocket still).

I might comment that the Bus exploded with Donald Trump on it somewhere nearby the Josephine County Sheriff’s Office on F St., about one-quarter mile from the Fred Meyer Gas Station in Grants Pass, but I can‘t do that, they have me locked out of that one particular post, the one with the mystery 13 on it in the screenshot above.

I could say a whole bunch of additional stuff about that.

The important part to what I might say is that all of that bullshit reported on Twitter about a White House invasion, is all bullshit. What that really is, is a way for Nancy Pelosi to say that Donald Trump exploded on a Salem Oregon Government Murder Hit Bus, and the shit went side-ways.

That is what that is all about in the Twitter news, and everything being said and done by the SAG Congress, Pelosi & Company, is all to make distraction so that no one will be interested in knowing where Donald Trump might be. Even Joe Biden is in on covering for the whereabouts of Donald Trump in the Twitter news.

It’s all bullshit! The whole WH invasion of January 6, 2021, is bullshit cover story done by SAG US Congressional Shills!

He was on the Salem Government Bus when the thing exploded into bits from at least one guitar bomb that was also on the bus, built by Mark Kiesel of Keisel Guitars. The explosives are suspected to have been provided by Micheal Moore of “Super Size Me” fame. If not, Mr. Moore knows where the explosives came from.

Send help to Oregon, learn more.

Please send medical services.

Bring your own hospital.

=========================

Edit: 7:37 pm:

This is a good place to make a REMinder about 737 MAX Airplanes and that I was there, at Boeing Seattle in 1998 when the place was taken by machine gun wielding terror soldiers who did not speak any English at all.

“What did those guys look like?”

Thank you for asking, good question.

You know that Die Hard movie with Bruce Willis at the Christmas Party?

Those blonde guys with long hair. They looked just exactly like those guys, at two of them did.

They killed all of the office workers. Young women who worked in the office at Boeing Seattle. They were called out to the airplane assembly area near the big door to the enormous hanger that Boeing is. It’s a big hanger where airplanes are built.

The women were lined up against a wall, told to say who they were, and what their job titles were, then, the people were separated, “these people over here, those people go over there”, and one of the groups of all women were shot against the wall. There was someone there in the Boeing tour group that I was part of who did some interpreting for the people with the machine guns. I was asked to speak to the women before they were shot also, to ask them what their job title were.

The bottom line here is that all of the math works out that SAG/Britain/Vatican/German terror is planning to use those “Grounded” (modified for terror) 737 MAX to do aerial spraying of poison gas over large populous regions some where. I suspect it’s a global operation in USA and Asia, maybe South America too. There are a whole bunch of those airplanes, plenty of time to make modifications has passed, and they had time to move them around to different parts of the world also.

I suspect Mustard Gas.

Also, reminder that I was there in 1970 when all of those rock star musicians I tell of from time to time were saying that the goal was to eliminate the population of the world, to reduce the population of the WORLD to about 500,000 people. That’s Half-Million people remaining after the “50 Year Plan“ is done. (Five-Hundred-Thousand inhabitants of the globe)

They were serious about that. We can see that they were serious about that. There are numerous clues, indicators, guidance, all that leads to a global depopulation of Biblical Re-Genisis magnitude.

Start Over... is the plan.

Those with SAG Cards in good standing, dues paid in full, might survive, if they are among the ones who draw the long straws, not the short ones at the “Heaven’s Gate” somewhere. (SWSX Terror Convention; It’s compass, points down, and to the left, depending on what hemisphere you are on at the time you take a look at the compass. I think. Maybe it’s a Thompson, goes up, and to the right when fitted with a full drum magazine, so, Hemispherical considerations are warranted, with respect to the right & left hemisphere’s of the human brain, for making the correct choices at the SXSW terror convention on Judgement Day for SAG Card Holders w/Dues Paid in Full, card in good standing)

This is not a joke, I am not making this up.

I was there. At the table at the time.

I was about ten years old. I remember.

So, that is the most important thing to know about why Donald Trump could have been inside of a Salem Oregon Government Bus at the Fred Meyer Gas Station on the 6th of January, 2021, and exploded when the shit went side-ways.

What’s more important is the date, the timing seems to be on or near the 20th of January, 2021, for the planned Boeing MAX aerial Mustard Attack of the world. (Grey Poupon, for decoding purposes. French’s will also work for decoding Twitter news, and promotional email from Music Industry Advertisers and Retailers)

Oregon is the place where a vast majority of the terror is HQ’d. California is where the most leadership is, Washington DC are all puppets, only the messengers, as far as I can tell. Congress is a voice of hidden leadership at corporate offices of all kinds, perhaps. But the highest of terror high command appears to be the “Amp Guru” the “Jim Dunlop” the “Vatican Choir”. Those seem to be higher command level than “British House of Lords”, or, could actually be the very same, could be British House of Lords = Amp Guru.

I still recommend the best defense for immediate results is to take Twitter offline. Make it go away. Even a temporary hiatus for a couple of months would help. The most commands come through the Twitter news stories, coded into them.

Would the world be so horrible without Twitter that the safety measure cannot be done at least temporarily?

Google is the same as the Pope’s Office Filing Secretary.

Google corporate and the mechanisms the make it work have to be taken into custody of Global Security persons who are opposed to being exterminated like a bug in a jar filled with Raid. Are there such persons left alive somewhere?

======================

Edit: 8:45 pm:

There are some people who know that the explanation about the Boeing 737 MAX attack already has come to this very point once before in the past. Only few people are aware of that, and all of the recorded documentation was deleted, made unavailable for me, but is available to others somewhere, I don’t know exactly where, but the Oval Office is a likely place to find those records, or access to them, from Beta Twitter in around 2008 and also on old Tumblr account, and also on old Google+ accounts.

The people who stopped the attack the first time are probably all dead now.

So, here you go, there is no Russia.

Don’t drop this this time:

It’s Mongolia.

They are no terrorists in Mongolia. They don‘t have any nuclear warheads in Mongolia, I don‘t think Mongolian’s even have an internet.

=========================

Edit: 9:08 pm:

Think about this please:

Size and scope demonstration of Vatican pirating in USA:

Let’s say you are a terror army leader who’s army uses nitrous oxide as a primary weapon, your goal for the time being is the kill and replace as many US Citizen voters as possible without being caught. You need a way to get nitrous gas into as many households as is possible. So, you convince the Residential Window Manufactures that they need some representation in DC, to lobby for concerns about climate change that affect the manufacture rules for window makers. The window manufacturers consortium is created because you are really good salesman. So, once that is done, you convince congress that it’s a good idea to mandate that there will be some small holes put onto the bottom of all the windows sold in USA, “Weep Holes” are invented for the purpose that if some condensation happens to gather on the windows, it will drip down safely out of the house through the “Weep Holes” in all of the windows, from now on.

That way, since you need to get the nitrous into as many homes as is possible, it’s much easier to do if the window has some holes there for the terror army to use a means of putting the gas into the houses so the people can be killed and replaced with other people who will vote the way you tell them to vote, making everything more predictable at election time later on.

There, you just managed to create a easy way so your terror soldiers can do their job faster, better, and by government mandate with blessings from the Window Manufacturers Consortium who are people who care about climate change.

You have been doing this a long time, and are so skilled as a salesman, that you can sell moccasins to an Eskimo, and snow shoes to a native American in Arizona, no problem.

You learned long ago, that making things easy for the pirates, speeds the boat along and that a little grease in the grooves makes the guillotine blade come down much smoother. Holes in the window, are grease on a guillotine groove.

===========================

Edit: 9:34 pm:

I go to the store, and there is always some asshole who wants to bum a cigarette as I come out of the store, or wants a couple of dollars for gas.

That’s a lobbyist in training.

A lobbyist, literally, are people who go to places where congressional members are likely to be, such as in the lobby at Capitol Hill. The congressional members need to come out of their offices at least once per day, so, go bum a smoke, hang out in the lobby and wait until they walk by, to ask for some gas money.

===============================

Edit: 10:03 pm:

(Pacific Power Corp turned off my power for just one second as I went to share this next part here, as I pasted the URL for this Buick Commercial, the power went off long enough to knock out my modem, and stop my computer from running. This is big terror news here, it’s revealing, is a major peice of evidence of the Window Manufacturer’s Consortium being used to put holes in everyone’s windows, by government mandate)

As I was saying when I was so rudely interrupted by Pac-Pow:

You are are a Christian Pirate Leader, are on TV, and with this commercial have instructed millions of terror pirate scalawags that you were successful at putting holes in all of the windows in USA, and their job will be much easier after all of the new houses are built after this ad was aired.

Grease, on the grooves of the guillotine ad:

Edit: 10:23 pm:

I need some assistance to keep the connection from being hijacked all the time.

Pac-Pow zapped my power, but that is not all, the Centurylink/Google/Tumblr terror consortium is still fucking with me also. Pac-Pow is the right hand, Centurylink is the left hand, Google is the brains of the three, and tumblr is like a pen that won‘t work all of the time, or a pencil that keeps breaking, have to keep sharpening the damn thing.

That Norton product is fake, I pay a lot of money annually for Norton 360, but they give me that fake one, I can’t do anything about it. It’s been fake since day one. I have been able to get a real copy in the past, but they change it in the background to that fake one. It’s been about fifteen years since I was able to download the real Symantec product. I pay for Norton 360, but I get Symantec Life Lock instead. Centurylink can and does do a lot of invisible hokus pokus with that fake product they came up with. You could have the same problem on your computer. There is nothing you can do to get the product you pay for, that is what you get. It never finds any problems, ever.

My computer must be perfect.

That thing that happened with the power going off was like this, I suspect:

I went to YouTube. I knew exactly what I was looking for. I typed a YouTube search for “Buick commercial with All Buick’s will have holes in the side”, which is another commercial about the same thing, except the ad says “all Buick’s will have holes in the side” on the commercial I was specifically looking for on YouTube. Then, what happened, is a flag went up at Google HQ, they know that the Buick commercials are a problem, so the called Pacific Power right away to scare me away from posting the commercial to show you about the Weep Hole terror at the US Government Mandate level.

Google initiated the power cut at my house, lasted only a second or two.

Please help make the connection secure at least, if you won‘t send medical help.

=============================

Edit: 11:17 pm:

Local Update:

A walk to the mailbox was uneventful.

There is no mail, just air inside the mailbox.

It’s warm, is 51 degrees outside and drizzling.

The warmth could be the reason my vision is do good today, as the forced air heating has not been on much today, I have the thermostat set for 59 degrees lately, down from 61 degrees after getting a giant size electric bill last month. The warm temperature and absence of use of the return air making the negative pressure condition could be why not much airborne gas came into the house today, my vision was very good for all but about one hour today.

The Myers have all of their interior lights turned off, and have a altarnate porch light turned on at the addition entrance that was put onto the house about three years ago. The holiday lighting around the door remains on.

Chapman’s is showing signs of strangers at 3701 Russell road with unusual lighting habits.

All remains dark at 520.

I did not pay attention to trash can conditions, was interested in Myers.

Freebergs is nearly dark, one internal house light can be seen from the road, just one small string of holiday lights out by the roadside is on.

Monroe Offensive Trailer has lighting on at the entry and a small blue glow in the rearmost part of the trailer is present. Monroe’s trailer was dark last night. The Copper colored Toyota or GMC Canyon truck that was at the Monroe trailer is no longer there at the trailer, could be in the driveway as usual. I did not go over that way.

Bells is all dark from where I can see.

I don’t have a view of Phillips 507 to ever say anything about, but there has been absence of activity there for some time, but I don‘t go outside often enough to know about much activity, only static conditions. It’s too dangerous to go outdoors in day time for any length of time.

Chartrand’s is per yesterday as far as I can see.

Dietrick’s turned off the extra porch yellow bug light that was on last night, it’s back to one yellow porch light showing now.

Clyde Baum’s seems a bit darker, less lighting than is usual. I don‘t have good access to a view to know what is normal and was is not.

If I looked at Strong’s, I did not see anything remarkable, I was in hurry, and did not want to fuck around, so, I don’t know, have to look later.

That’s all.

There were no indications of traffic noises near or far.

The Norton security “background tasks” pop-up window was on the computer screen when I returned from a five minute walk. Only five minutes of idle time had taken place, as is usual for the Norton pop-up, despite that it’s supposed to wait about a half-hour before doing background idle work.

The Norton pop-ups are being used to fool someone, somewhere, and have been for many years.

The heater was just on, my vision is poor now.

======================================

Edit: 1-13-2021: 12:06 am:

The thing about the “Weep Holes” in the windows, I have known for decades, I did not know the magnitude of it though until more recently.

I was held captive by Eastwood Guitars and other music industry terror operatives in around 1998 - 2002, forced to design many things for many different terror cells. This guitar is one of my designs. I have never been given credit for any of the things I designed, but that is not important, what is important is that I included a lot of hidden ideas into the things I was forced to design, and this Bucklund model is one of them. It’s designed after, and in association to my knowledge of the Weep Holes, and their connection to the Buick advertising. The guitar is a Buick. It was done to show later, if I could get free of the captivity, that the window Weep Holes are a product of terrorism, done by the same groups of people who were holding me and my family captive.

I am free of that captivity, but into another kind of the same captivity now.

It’s a Buick.

It was designed to explain the Weep Holes that were put there so that the nitrous would be easier to put into the victims homes.

===========================

Edit: 1-13-2021: 12:39 am:

One more time:

The nitrous oxide gas won’t hurt you, and, it won’t hurt the sword wielding terror Christian Pirate who is putting it up your nose. You don‘t smell it. You don‘t see any gas. You can‘t taste that the gas is there. You have no idea that you are being gassed. The terror soldier is fully aware of where the gas is, what direction it will go. They can take precautions that you are not going to do.

The gas does not hurt you. It does make you dumber than a box of rocks at a quarry. Stupid dumb. You will laugh your ass off, as the terror soldiers entertains you momentarily, just long enough to make you put your hands into the hand cuffs they bring with them. The sword is a last resort, just in case you fight back. They want to capture you, not kill you right away. They need to know where the rest of your family is at, and where your assets are at, and how to access them. They take you to a dungeon, basement somewhere, or a empty warehouse to torture you so you will talk. Once they are done, you will be begging them to kill you, it’s that bad.

The gas does not kill you, won‘t hurt you.

The terror soldiers kill you.

The nitrous works as a truth serum, it removes all of your instincts to protect yourself, is invisible in every way, it will make you tell the truth, you cannot tell a lie when exposed to nitrous gas, it won‘t work if you try. You will lead them directly to your family. It’s a pain reliever, you won‘t scream, they can torture you at a mall parking lot at Christmas time, you won‘t scream, no one will know as they pass by with Black Friday Sale Items.

You are not immune to nitrous gas.

If you think you are stronger than the gas, you are fool, and are exactly the kind of victim that makes a good target.

Terror soldiers, Christian Pirates, do the killing, not the gas.

That, and it’s cheap to make. For $50 you can buy everything needed to make an ample supply at any well stocked farm supply store, a visit to a department store for a coffee maker, and gag shop for some balloons to store it in. For another $50 you can get the professional pressure tank at any well equipped plumbers supply outlet.

Plumbers test ball is the preferred pressure tank among the Christian terror pirates, rectally holstered:

=======================

Edit: 1-13-2021: 3:01 am:

I am being throttled by the internet terror consortium, Google/Centurylink/Tumblr in so many ways it’s not easy to know which of the group is doing what particular digital hokus pokus.

For the past few hours, these conditions are notable:

The day started with the Tumblr app notice on my previous post featuring Donald Trump on the cover of the Rolling Stone, then, I was not allowed to make additional edits to that, had to start a new post, this one.

After that, the page I was working on, would jump all around, I go to type some words, and the page goes flying up to some other place.... have to find my curser,  I know it must be around here somewhere... so, that happened all day.

Then later, after the bit about the plumbers test ball, the internet just stopped working... the computer was working. The modem was working. All of the internet connections where in place, and were working, but there was no connection... all of the pages I tried to go to were blank.

“Sorry, we can‘t find that web site, please try again later and check your connection settings...”

Assholes.

One page did work. I was able to connect to Google Gmail to see the contents of my Google Gmail. Yahpoo mail was gone, so was Wikipedia Ten Codes link... all blank, but all the modem lights were on, and the internet connection indicator said all was good.

It was like I was totally stranded, even worse than I already am stranded.

I broke the internet.

The whole thing for about two hours.

This happened:

See, says it’s all good at the bottom right where the internet connection icon is at.

They gave me that scary message, says my privacy is important there at the top... they are going to go ahead and route my privacy somewhere else, it says.

Terrorist bastards.

That was the case after posting the photo of the plumbers test ball, immediately after that.

I am glad it works now. Even if there is no one there who will talk to me.

I got a phone call on Sunday, it’s Wednesday now, but I did not answer the phone call, or check the message, it’s too dangerous to check a phone message when the US President is chasing after you, to kill you. Trust me, that is scary.

=============================

This Just In:

1-13-2021: 2:50 pm:

See that? The way the movie camera icon is not working?

The Google/Centurylink/Tumblr internet terror consortium strikes again. They won‘t let me post the link to the Ozzy Ozbourne version of the Stepenwolf song Born to be Wild, where it’s all different kinds of fucked up at Ozzy’s House too.

Did you know that Ozzy Ozbourne has gone through somewhere around 22 spinal surgeries in his lifetime? All result of Amp Guru and the Vatican Choir terror pirates beating the living daylight out of him for writing and singing the revealing lyrical content he exposes in his music. They didn‘t send him the Great Gig in the Sky just yet, instead, the tossed Sharron at him, and then later, the gave him a reality TV show, Jimmi Hendrix Stage Rush style at his house every minute of every day.

Look at the date of the weird Ozzy song at the linked page above.

Ozzy, doing Stepenwolf’s Born to be Wild, featuring Ms. Piggy and The Count on backing vocals:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1NGzog11vc

(Factoid: It is musically forbidden to do a cover of Born to be Wild, and/or Deep Purple’s Smoke on the Water, the Vatican Choir Amp Guru murder police will track you down, burn your guitar, and bury you in your amplifier if your band plays those at a night club)

Save Ozzy, save the world. He can tell all, people will listen.

Note to Mr. Osbourne: You may not remember the day I chased those Amp Guru thugs out of your house in So Cal, but if you think about that very narrow doorway at your studio, the one I walked through and sat down, and wrote you a note, to say what little I knew at the time, you may recall the day I chased thugs from your home.

===================

1-13-2021: 3:30 pm:

Terror math:

It’s about the Bass (Base) of Global terror.

Black Sabbath: N.I.B.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB84LL-Z8TU

Just the title is all you need.

There must be a Knight around here somewhere, a stowaway scalawag.

Perspective is necessary from a listener, audience standpoint.

You need prerequisite knowledge about coded language of the entertainment industry, here, specifically, scale is not a factor. Whatever it is, can be as large or small as is needed at a given time, so, ...

N.I.B. contains three periods. Those are “Blood”, “Moons”, “Months”, “Heads”, “Stones” and “O’s”... other as needed.

So, N.I.B. = NOIOBO

It’s a SAG thing to start with (Head Start). Ozzy and SAG are not getting along very well at the time.

Three Stooges show up, beat the living daylight out of Ozzy Osbourne for having recorded the song “War Pigs”.

So, “Spread Out”: N O I O B O

Step the fuck back, have a look.

We have to consider the global magnitude:

Ozzy is from Britain, or UK, somewhere close to the source (Sorcerer)

So, they sort things out over there, God’s job. is to sort things out. (Google)

So, sort it out: “N O Ten Downing B O”

Maybe we can Start there.

I see nitrous there. N O  is nitrous.

“Nitrous Oxide Ten Downing B O”

Sounds offensive to me.

“Nitrous Oxide Ten Downing B Offensive”

Hmmmm....

Where is that Ten Downing (I O Downing) again? It’s in Britain, we already decided it was all about the Bass (Base).

“Nitrous Oxide Ten Downing British Offensive”

Conclusion:

“N.I.B. = Nitrous Oxide Ten Downing British Offensive” 

Perspective:

N.I.B. by Black Sabbath

(Nitrous Oxide Ten Downing British Offensive by Black Sabbath)

(Nitrous Oxide Ten Downing British Offensive by NO² Sunday, See?)

Oh, yeah

Some people say my love, cannot be true Please believe me, my love, and I'll show you I will give you those things, you thought unreal The sun, the moon, the stars all bear my seal

Oh, yeah

Follow me now and you, will not regret Leavin' the life you led, before we met You are the first to have, this love of mine Forever with me 'til the end of time

Your love for me has just got to be real Before you know the way, I'm goin' to feel I'm goin' to feel, I'm goin' to feel

Oh, yeah

Now I have you with me, under my power Our love grows stronger now, with every hour Look into my eyes, you'll see who I'm My name is Lucifer, please take my hand

Oh, yeah

Follow me now and you, will not regret Leaving the life you led, before we met You are the first to have, this love of mine Forever with me 'til the end of time

Your love for me has just got to be real Before you know the way, I'm goin' to feel I'm goin' to feel, I'm goin' to feel

Oh, yeah

Now I have you with me, under my power Our love grows stronger now, with every hour Look into my eyes, you'll see who I'm My name is Lucifer, please take my hand

Songwriters: Butler Terrence (usa 2), Iommi F Frank

For non-commercial use only.

Data from: Musixmatch

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You can decode the lyrics on your own.

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Black Sabbath: War Pigs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_A6y58afFY

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+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Etcetera, and so on ...

It’s Christian Pirate terror math. They do addition, with subtraction.

HMS Eleaner Rigby, is the name of the British Submarine Christian Pirate Ship.

13 January 9600

March 13 9600

3139600

Play the turn-a-round:

1339600

There is something fishy going on.

Play the turn-a-round again:

1336900

Stooges come on stage, get in your face for playing Born to be Wild:

Spread out:

13 369 00

Pirates are superstition bastards:

They want me to spread that 1 and 3 apart. Fuck that.

369 is International Pirate Code for: Eternal Progression. Eternal Power. Infinite Control, and other ways of saying that the pirating will continue ...

Fuck that too.

They work the math a little different than I do:

The double zero’s, are “Dead Bitches” in Pirate Speak.

AAaarrggghhhh!

There is more than one way to be a Pirate!

Davey Jones in Locher:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br_-a21Myls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tM8PHrArL_E

[elprofesore]

Divide and Conquer

As my Colombian father warned me,

I have become 100 percent gringo,

meaning I don’t identify

as a Latino much anymore;

Sure i listen to shakira,

and watch soccer games,

but so do gringos;

i don’t pine for the old country.

i hardly talk to my relatives

in Colombia,

for fear they are drunk

like my father was

before he died,

still broken by the legacy

of conquest,

and the hunger of his childhood.

And the truth is,

i hardly talk to anyone;

i like the solace of my phone,

the escape of Netflix,

and the anonymity of Starbucks;

I have been colonized again,

but this time it is my pleasure;

Can you help me?

Can you convince me,

I am missing something

better?

As an American,

I live in hybrid spaces,

between the educated and the uneducated,

young people and old people,

soccer fans and football fans;

Each culture speaks its own language,

and so I code switch like a brujo, 

meaning witch, (case in point

you meta-hunting-PHD-motherfuckers);

i am completely fluent

in the art of disappearing.

Latino is just another space,

with its own language,

and history,

that is threatened by the culture

of convenience stores,

and couches;

the same culture that threatens

everyone, the Irish,

African American,

the Raver, Punk,

Prussian,

and Jew;

Everybody wants

to think their little space is better,

but this leads what privileged people call, “othering,”

and the uneducated call, “being an asshole”;

meaning I am more precious than you;

because of my beliefs,

my taste,

my education,

my values,

my god,

and therefore:

I deserve just a little more,

so please,

carry this bag for me,

and make my hamburger medium rare;

White European power is real and a Myth;

and like most groups,

it’s members believe they are the most precious,

and historically they have had more guns to prove it,

more victories to print its currency on;

it can afford the printing presses,

and the ads,

it owns its own TV station,

it patented the bullhorn,

it invented the game called monopoly

and takes real profits to the bank;

yet, this is just another space,

with its own language,

history, and beliefs,

and if i speak to you in English,

i am already a member

regardless of my color,

whether i like it or not;

I no longer speak Chibcha or Muisca

and frankly doubt they would want me

in their club either,

as a souled out member, a traitor

to another tribe that believes in purity,

and wants its own disco that plays

nothing but tribal drums;

and even if Western Civilization

doesn’t want me in their club,

I have already been educated in their schools

so I am already an honorary member;

i have white male priviledge;

my light skin opens doors,

i drive a car, eat beef,

have the luxury of not giving a fuck

from time to time;

i live inside the belly of an empire

that plots and schemes behind my back,

and I pretend not to notice;

so it is hard for me to hold a sign

that says, Justice for All,

when I am living inside a country

that lights up at night and says,

Fuck the Poor!

I am part of the problem;

I pay taxes to be protected

by Storm Troopers and Star Wars missiles,

so i feel like a fool saying care about

diversity, when I feel like saying,

everyone should know the pleasure

of watching drone footage on HDTV

while eating Nacho Chips

and Sushi;

As I told you,

I afraid I no longer have a culture of my own,

and though I try to be kind to friends and family,

and to do the right thing in real life,

I am afraid the umbrella i use to keep off the rain

is made of military secrets and midnight raids,

and cutting edge technology that can also

be used to obliterate small towns in a single stroke;

i help pay for it, after all;

i am agreeing to live in a world

where i am allowed to scroll freely on my phone

while others are oppressed to increase my roaming;

as people of color

we must  fight over who is more oppressed

hoping to get a piece of American pie;

instead of joining together

with working class whites

to overthrow the butcher, the baker,

and the candlestick maker;

I see a white and a black

argue in the street

over whether

it is okay to wear

a shirt with an African design

that was made

in fucking China;

and nobody is laughing,

there is no love left between us.

We end up

hating each other;

and writing articles

about each other’s insensitivity;

Meanwhile on Wall Street,

a man in a suit

is watching us fight on youtube

and laughing at what monkeys

we are,

all of us, you, me, anyone that doesn’t own stock in Satan,

and have an offshore account in hell; whites, black,

Asians, Latinos, freaks,

hustlers, poets, transvestites,

carny barkers, dreamers, anyone not born

with a name recognized by Forbes magazine;

“Divide and conquer,”

the Man in a Suit says,

“We keep the system safe

as long as they keep fighting

with each other,

the poor blaming the poor,

or the Illuminati or the Jews,

nobody will see what is right

in front of them.

because they can’t afford to see us,

they don’t have

the education or the breeding

or the free time

to even imagine us,

working so tirelessly against their own interests;

We buy an ad for a million dollars

that says vote for the rich,

you poor fuck,

and we will continue to fuck you over;

Come on, you know you want it! 

and a million people will believe it,

a million people will be bought off

by a handsome face, and snappy slogan.

as long as masses don’t stop to think

because they can’t think,

(which is why we cut the schools)

who has real power and real money,

the poor will continue to blame each other,

because they stand in the same

grocery outlet store, welfare line,

thrift shop; they hate themselves,

and they hate their own reflections,

so they try to deny it

by saying, “But No, Look, We Are Different,

We have different colored skin.”

And they will let the people of color

get an education, as long as they promise

to blame poor white trash for everything,

instead of the rich who were so generous

to give them a scholarship; as long

as we don’t bite the hand that feeds us;

meanwhile,

factories and schools keep churning out souls

that smoke and choke,

and the slave trade continues to blossom;

sex slaves, child slaves, labor slaves

of all colors,

continue to be traffiked across the globe,

and we don’t have time to care,

because we’re are too busy

enjoying the spoils

of that labor,

too busy checking our phones

for status updates,

to see the tiny hands of slave children

inside the flickering screen; (lol).

too busy trying to pay our bills

and keep our little spot

in the pyramid;

And only

1 a million has the courage

to unplug from the madness,

to find a way

that isn’t part of the same murder machine,

we call another day.

but nobody knows his name,

and cares where he is gone;

and today,

I ate a scone,

and had an espresso,

and checked my phone for love;

and today I am not this enlightented one;

today i am like you;

And meanwhile,

everyone is some degree of miserable;

even the Man in the Suit on Wall Street,

(who part of us,

despite our wanting a perfect world

where we just farm and fuck,)

secretly aspires to be is also miserable;

In fact, I have a little secret for you

about the Man in the Suit on Wall Street;

his name is the American Dream,

and he is so coked up

and high on stock markets and data,

he can’t feel his own cock

no matter how many whores

he pays to fuck him,

and no matter how many Lambos

he crashes into walls

just to feel something;

Even he secretly longs

for a simple life

like the one he had

when he was still a boy,

and his parents sent him away to camp;

he still misses the day he got to dress up

like an Indian,

when he could still enjoy

the feel of water between his toes,

and recognize his own face

in the reflection of the water.

[lostborderline]

I am a melodramatic borderline with too much feeling and care for my own good. I am characterized by being extremely abnormal usually expressing myself through words or art (preferably realism or portraits), singing, and occasionally creating custom jean jacket patches to make myself look cool. Let me start my blog, or journal, if you will, with a bit about me to give you some insight. I mean, how can you imagine my life if you do not even know who I am? For starters, I am a strong advocate for mental illness awareness as I suffer from borderline myself mixed up with an assortment of others such as depression, anxiety, bipolar, and antisocial personality. I just turned 22, and I have been working in a Dunkin for four years so I have made some meaningful relationships with coworkers and customers although never close. My hobbies include writing freeverse poetry, short horror stories, skateboarding, playing video games (specifically Playstation), painting portraits, and singing + playing guitar. I have always been pretty creative in my life. I suppose all my pain fuels the passion for these creative outlets. My music does not vary a lot. I am very peculiar with music. I love any type of rock or pop music from the sixties, seventies/eighties punk music, classic rock or even boy bands such as the Backstreet Boys. My favorite bands being The Beatles, System of a Down, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Queen and Nirvana. I grew up on heavy metal, actually, like Mushroomhead or Mudvayne. My mom actually wanted to try heroin because “Kurt Cobain did heroin”, she was obsessed with him. That should tell you a lot about her. There’s nothing wrong with Cobain, just my mom is literally the epitome of mental health issues. When I was a preteen, I was constantly called a loser for saying no to taking drugs whenever she offered. I never needed drugs to feel like things were okay. I suppose I am a strong person. She was very depressed throughout my life. She’s even overdosed on stuff like oxycontin and Xanax in front of me, I constantly saw her being carried out in an ambulance, leaving me alone at home to cry about whether she was going to be okay or not. She never was a good mother. I feel bad for saying that, I think she really tried, she just had a shitty life and I happened to be an accident so she never really knew how to deal with her consequence. She was more of a best friend than a mother. There is nothing wrong with that, I mean she has always had my back except in times where she thought I was acting unloving towards her in which was not the case. She also has borderline. When I got arrested both times, our bond really played a role in me not getting incarcerated. She helped me make up lies to make the situation seem better than it was. In my defense, my arrests were caused by me standing up for myself. My mom had always dated really shitty guys. She was so desperate for love that she even turned to Indian guys for it, I’m talking, these guys also had a “special interest” in me too (gross). She allowed it, which was appalling. The height of her dating peaked when she married for the second time to a Satanist. Not even a true Satanist, like this guy actually worshipped the Devil, man. He was extremely abusive. He taught me to be very afraid of anger. I can recall him getting real close to my face and screaming in it, followed by taking a whole load of my toys I had and throwing it in the dumpster outside. If I had attempted to go and grab them, he threatened me. He also threatened to hang himself in front of my younger sister and me, not to mention, set my mom on fire. This whole thing went on for like four years. When I was a baby, my mom did not talk to me, like most parents did, so I lost weight. I never really cried either. Later on in life, my mom had a good job, so she constantly bought me Pokemon toys, anything related to that, it was my favorite. Then she lost her job. Enough about her, for now. In middle school, I was bullied for having purple hair, and dressing “goth”. It got to be enough to the point where I really became the bully. I started to go up to guys and start beating on them. I wanted to put fear into them, so I brought a knife to school and then I got expelled. I never regretted it, at all. It changed my life. I was never really bullied again, I actually made friends through fear. I enjoyed it. However, my depression still lingered, most likely from family, so I used to cut myself all over my left arm. I still have all the scars to this day. In high school I would sometimes accept my mom’s offers of ambien, Vicodin, and weed. My personal favorite was ambien, it made me see things, and everything was like you were drunk, walking into walls and such. The effect got to be too much during the trip and I would feel super nauseous and in a lot of pain so I forced myself to sleep. Vicodin made me feel like I was dying, literally. I could not tolerate it. I took ambien so much that it actually stopped working on me, and the only effect I had was feeling nauseous and in that same amount of pain. I knew that drug could really fuck you up too, but I did not care. I have always had impulses including cheating with multiple people. Maybe it has something to do with getting love or seeking a thrill, I think that's it. At one point I had two boyfriends at the same time and disgustingly, I was open about it. When I moved away in sophomore year and switched schools, I became attached to this one guy I met who, at first treated me and lead me on as if he actually liked me. He spent time talking about his previous love, although I did not know who she was at the time. We had sex and then the next day he said we should not talk at all anymore. The day before, he called me his “Snowflake”. I felt so used. The school found out, and the next thing I knew, his previous love bombarded me with messages calling me a whore and how she was still in love with him. I then had the reputation of a slut at school. He made me swear that I would deny ever having sex with him, it was our secret. I got so tired of keeping it to protect him, and I did not want the school to think I was a liar for attention. I had the texts between us, all the proof, so I posted it for the world to see. The day he threw me away I refused to go to school, I wanted to kill myself. My friends found out and called the school, in turn, the school called my mom and she threatened to take me to the mental hospital. I have had this happen to me a few times actually, being used. Not always sexual, either. I was dated at least twice to make their ex jealous, I was just a homecoming date, which was abandoned so he could go dance with his ex anyway. Surprise, the next day I was dumped. Starting to see a pattern here, right. I had this one guy who was always trying his hardest to fuck me but I always said no, I did not want to. His excuse for dumping me was that I refused to tell him who gave me a concussion, in order to protect my family, because my cousin did. That brings me to my cousin. When I moved, I became best friends with him. Also, surprise, he has borderline too. He would spend months at a time at my place, sleeping over. We would pull all nighters watching anime until we had to go to school. When he tried to kill himself, he was sent to a mental hospital, which left me alone. I had nobody to talk to, so I started to write a journal. It helped my anxiety so much. Whenever I had anxiety at school I would open it up and write. I also started to write poetry because of him. When he got out, he made me a bracelet symbolizing our bond. It was a bracelet with blue and red hearts with black beads. I must have cut it at least five times whenever we fought, and somehow I always managed to fix it. The final straw was when he gave me a concussion, I destroyed it permanently and lost the beads. I regret it every day. He was very protective of me, and whenever I dated. He knew I got used a lot. I have had people tell me they never loved me. At some point I started to notice there was something really wrong with me. I must have been traumatized somehow. I suddenly started to make it so my room was always pitch black during the day, I would sleep as much as I could, and I was actually emotionless. I could not feel any sort of emotion; love, attachment, happiness, sadness, any sort of care. It lasted for months. I started to only be awake at night from ten at night to six in the morning during the summer. I would not deal with reality at all. I was never on my personal Facebook, I was always on my role-play Facebook making “friends” with other accounts alike. I only watched anime and that’s literally it. There was absolutely no sense of reality, I never left the house, or dealt with problems. You could not have problems if you were always asleep, right? I was very cynical I realized. I hated people, everyone. Never wanted kids, hated them. I would have disturbing thoughts. Often including gore, or violence. They never really were a problem until later in life. When I moved during my junior year to a totally different state, I was so prejudice of the people around me. I am from the Northeast, and moving down south was entirely new. I had this very clear image of “redneck” painted within my mind, and it was not a good one. It was confederate flag city down there. I literally alienated every friendship I had. I constantly rejected this one guy who liked me and tried his best to win me over. I was very clear one how I did not want friends. Oh, and guess again, I dated a guy who dumped me right after homecoming, and completely mocked me for not wanting him to talk to me while he was under the influence. He also made fun of me for being depressed. I think I was more “myself” than I had ever been down there. I wore the weirdest outfits, I drew more than I ever have in my life, and wrote at least a thousand poems and stories. I focused solely on my schoolwork and was on high honors my entire senior year. I was so proud of myself. Fast forward to post-graduation. I was living with my boyfriend at the time, and my mom had her friend prank call me all the time. She constantly harassed me, I think she was angry that I moved out and started my life. I had to change my number, and to get back at her, I cussed her out and let everyone know how horrible she was. She let my sister do drugs at just over ten years old. Eventually, my sister got taken away from her because she was depressed and started cutting herself. Now, being in an entirely different relationship, I have accomplished so many things, and been through so much shit that is way worse than high school ever was. From being treated like shit at my job, to being in a toxic relationship that I still depend on, my borderline is worse than ever. I have gotten into really violent fights with my boyfriend that have resulted in a lot of blood, broken doors, broken walls, and broken hearts. I am really attached to him, and I could not imagine him being with anyone else. He is just so unsupportive of my mental health, and just does not understand it, despite saying he does just because he looked it up. Sometimes I wish he could go through what I have to. He thinks that you can just stop anxiety. Yeah. Besides still being in love, I also depend on him to be able to use his car to get around. It has progressively gotten worse over the years. From loving each other very wholesomely and spending all our waking time together, to arguing all the time and him being out with his friends whenever possible. I’m trying my hardest. Sometimes I wish I could go back to when I could not feel. He comes off as kind of suspicious. He will talk to a girl or send money to a girl and blatantly lie about it and make me seem like I am the crazy one and turns it back on me. He made up multiple stories for one incident, and frankly that makes it not add up. I always end up crawling back to him trying to get him to express his love for me. He has hit me multiple times, and slammed my head against the bathroom floor, causing me to bite my bottom lip and blood started spewing everywhere. My lip did not heal back to normal. My borderline is worse than ever. I am extremely impulsive. My moods are extreme, and never moderate. It’s either I am feeling an extreme emotion, or I am feeling absolutely nothing and empty. Everything is black and white. I either hate somebody and can love them the next minute. It is either a good day or a bad day. Nothing is ever in between, ever. I also dissociate often. What it feels like to me when it is happening is that my mind will leave reality and become very fuzzy. My eyes will unfocus themselves and become blurry and I will be completely blank, as if I am nothing but a shell of a human. Sometimes it happens while driving and can be dangerous. I do realize when I am doing it and eventually try to shake it off.  I feel like I have written enough about my life story, and about me. I did not intend to make a long ass journal about my whole damn self, I wanted to make it short and sweet, but I suppose it is better this way and will give clear insight as to my back story and the reason why I am the way I am. I have literally been typing this for at least two hours now and I am so fucking tired, my eyes actually hurt and itch. I intended to get some game playing in before going to bed but it’s probably unlikely now as I have overstayed my welcome here.  Thank you to whoever took the time to listen to my sob story, and welcome to my journal, and future entries. I also intend to post daily random pictures to also document my life. I figure it would be super cool.  Yours,  Corey

[ramrodd]

John 4:1-26, If You Only Knew

COMMENTARY:

Any male pastor who believes and teaches the Samaritan woman is spiritually dead to the core is spouting the candy-ass theology of the spiritually stunted Pro-Life version of the Bible and has serious gender issues arising from their ideological identification with Paul. Paul is a raging homosexual with sensitivities similar to Gore Vidal and Tennessee Williams. Paul's "thorn in the flesh" is his hunger for young men about the age of John Mark on his first missionary with Barnabus.  My guess is that Paul made a pass at John Mark and John Mark said "No!" by leaving. Paul fixed this issue by marrying TImothy, which is what that circumcision represented in the Greek culture. There is a whole subset of same-sex marriage in Greece that produced a far healthier gene pool than Israel's model, which was corrupted by Moses corruption of the Seventh Commandment. Before he destroyed the evidence, the Seventh Commandment read something like "Thou shalt not adulter the law to possess that which you covet of your neighbor".  Moses was frightened by the uppity women celebrating the emancipation of their fertility with the worship of Yaweh in Utero.

The Samaritan woman does not consider herself trash. She's on her way to get pregnant in the manner of Tamar in Genesis 38. Tamar, Ruth, Rahab, Uhriah's Wife, and the Samaritan woman are all self-sufficient and independent persons. Their uterus was their property and they exercised the right to choose who got the opportunity to extend their DNA a generation or two. This woman is not jewish. She has had children from five men and she wants another baby but her current partner isn't getting the job done, so her personal value system of polyandry isn't chained to some asshole Calvinist doctrine of what nice girls and faithful wives do who love Jesus, unlike the tribe of Planned Parenthood whores!  

Like Tamar, the Samaritan woman knew when she was most likely to get pregnant. She enjoys the process and the itch to get in a family way probably amplified a general readiness to fool around. She could have been a sex worker, like Rahab, but she liked her work and she was like Melina Mercouri as Ilya. And one of her most important features was that she created half-breeds through her polyandry, which produces a far healthier gene pool than the Orthodox Jewish model from antiquity and the white supremancist Pro-Life perversion of the Gosplels.  

It is essential to see the erotic qualities of the encounter. The dialogue has a certain French farce quality to it, which I think Jesus intentionally manufactures. The Samaritan woman has come to Jacob's Well loaded for bear, but there are protocols for these sort of encounters, especially between Samaritan women and Jewish males. There was always a pretty lively trade between good Jewish boys and gentile women in other villages. It was like Virginia white boys coming into DC for a little brown sugar, if you see what I mean,

The Samaritan woman has made her intention known by coming out to the well in the middle of the day a quarter of a mile outside the perimeter of Sychar. These little villages ran pretty much like the modern Jewish kibbutz, which is to say, they were very socialist communities. And children were an essntial form of social security, especially for women. Being barren wasn't a luxury of the Cosmo ethic; it was a curse. The fact that a woman in this community might have occasion to visit a wayfarer's well in the middle of the day and miss all the gossip at sunset was her loss. Unless she got in a family way and showed up to do some bragging, So, nothing but pleasure lay in the immediate future of the Samaritan woman,

The dialogue begins as a flirtation. If you understand that all the "Living Water" trope has one meaning for the woman, which is sex, it has both the meaning of sex and the spiritual qualities of salvation that Jesus is talking about. This starts out a little bit like Romeo and Juliet's duet on the balconey, but it becomes opera at John 4:26. In between, Jesus knows she misunderstands His references to "Living Water". I mean, from the very start, Jesus is making a sales pitch and the Samaritan woman, who is out to close the deal, is buying His pitch and is becoming increasingly aroused, until, in John 4:15, she buys His program and says, in effect "Let's fuck!".

A way to look at this part of the dialogue is to put Jesus in the role of the girl in "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" and the Samaritan woman is the boy and he has rounded third and is heading home when Jesus says "Stop Right There. Before we go any further, do you love me".

Jesus is a virgin. Jesus probably dies a virgin and it, His celibacy, is essential to His power in an Indian guru kind of way. Or George Kastanza becoming an intellectual super hero when he gave up sex.  My only evidence of Jesus' virginity is His encounter with the woman with the chronic flow, who blind-sided Him and sucked power out of Him to effect her cure "immediately". My only explanation for this, given the miracle processes Jesus employed, is that Jesus had no idea before that moment what that plumbing represents for women. It expanded His understanding of the universal nature of His Word.

In spite of this, or because of it, Jesus became incredibly charismatic after He was baptized. He could dial this up or down and Jesus dials it up all the way with the Samaritan woman, playing on the double-entredre of her expectations. And at this instant, He turns it off .  

Her response is, actually, comic :"I don't need no husband!" as in, Let's get it on.  She's ready to go and the only reason she's here is because her body was ready to have a baby and her current partner was shooting blanks. He's the problem. I'm here to fix it.  So, let's get it on.

Then he tosses a bucket of cold water, figuratively, on the Samaritan woman's libido with her resume. She's not ashamed: she realizes she has encountered divinity in some way at Jacob's Well, What He forces her to focus on is her righteousness arising from her hunger for the Spiritual Water Jerusalem had ignored the week before. John 4:25 The woman said, “I know that Messiah (called Christ) is coming. When He comes, He will explain everything to us.”.

Into that vessel, Jesus directs the Spirit of the Lord to conceive a child. At John 4:26, Jesus makes her pregnent like the Holy Ghost made His mother pregnant. An example of immaculate conception, like Sarah's pregnance.

The opera ends then, and the Disciples kill the mood and she breaks away, leaving her bottle behind and she dances back to the village like Natalie Merchant wiggling around the stage to Kind and Generous.

This chapter happens nearly in real time up to the point where the village begins to seek out Jesus at the well. The idea that this woman, if she was the outcast she is charactized by Calvinists, could mobilize the village in this manner is laughable. She was a values member of that society and they were will to believe her witness sufficiently to go see for themselves.

Living together and marriage are not the same thing. Her life was full before she met Jesus, He validated her lifestyle.

[freecornland]

to dearest fucking cbse;

TW: anxiety, self harm, mental health issues today’s the 12th of march. so far, i’ve covered only 25% of the entire 11th and 12th syllabi. and i’ve been informed that i. the term 1 results are out (and i have the impending disaster in one day to be precise. ii. i have practical exams next week (for which, my absolute garbage whore of a school has taught us NOTHING, not one fucking lab experiment, hell i don’t even know what a lab is supposed to look like) along with some trash presentations. and record submissions. iii. pre-fucking-boards from some 25th whatever. (and i haven’t done anything. genuinely. i don’t know what the fuck differential equations are nor do i know how to calculate the scalar product and matrix bullshit. nothing i know. not even how i’m surviving this terrible fucking academic year.) iv. there’s JEE. (don’t even ask me. i’d rather jump off the everest than give that exam) v. then the fucking boards. three boards in may.  vi. JEE again. (cbse should set itself on fire and die) vii. boards continued.  viii. 200 entrance exams. deadlines to submit essays. shitton of unis to apply because my parents ask me to get into a govt. institute and then proceed to force me to apply to every single fucked up private uni including the drugged ones.  ix. depression, anxiety, attention issues, trauma from childhood and family, constant fights and sicknesses at home. and sleep deprivation on a constant basis. holding back the urge to hurt myself for relief and love and affection. holding back from fucking unaliving. x. fucking school forcing people to come only to curse at them instead of teaching. and they haven’t even finished any term 2 syllabus for us. 

i mean, i’m obviously doing fucking great cbse. really. 

everytime i try to study i end up crying because i’m someone that genuinely adores all the subjects i’ve picked to study and i’ve been a once brilliant student and i got a 96% in 10th (although it had its fair share of crying every single fucking day of the second half of the academic year) and this godforsaken, fucking damned, absolutely unaesthetic and senseless piece of horse garbage crap of an ncert textbook STABS through my brain and i end up having a system breakdown. and right now? i’m not even crying. my emotions have fucking died. just dead. i don’t know what i’m feeling, i don’t know if i’m okay, i don’t know what i’m going to do at the practicals with the “external” invigilator. i don’t know how i’ll cope up. or if i even can. the exams are not even objective to fuck around with. you write or you die.

i've had dreams cbse. i hoped, even if i didn’t get to participate in things or learn cool as fuck skills, or be valedictorian, i hoped my subjects, my passions would stay with me. that’s all i’ve got. that’s all i’ve fucking had my whole unstable as hell life. and now everytime i try, everytime i make an effort, you know what happens? i fucking gatecrash facefront into a wall and bleed in pain. it hurts so fucking much when you have to deal with so much damned crap everyday. and i’m not even like, a bad student, or a poor person. i’m fucking privileged. i have all the resources yadda yadda bullshit, and my parents can afford a lot of things (except therapy because “wtf is that, you don’t need therapy, you just need to move on, meditate, cOnTrOL yOuR emOtiONs”) and i’m just generally very fucking privileged and i study on a laptop or whatever fuckshit it is.  

and rn, i just wanna give up. i have given up already, i have done nothing. i fucking haven’t been able to. i dont, i don’t see a point anymore. like how absolutely fucked up is the indian education system at this point that me (and my partner whose in 10th) talk about unaliving ourselves every single fucking day? over what, fucking exams? a fucking /500 score? i’m so so tired, everyday is a fight to not end my life. and like none of this isn’t enough, there are results, there’s entrances, there’s self induced anger and rage for not being enough and being  “lazy” when it’s fucking academic burnout. 

i mean, do you realise, you’ve completely ruined almost every gifted kid in this country? you’ve ruined them with your ass-sucking unaesthetic textbooks that make everything ten times more complicated than it already is, with your absolute fuckturd exam patterns, with the useless topics being included and the needed ones being deleted but still applicable to jee, for the garbage pro india agenda you do in every single chapter and textbook, for the fucking ATTENDANCE percentage like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR SHIT EATING ASS WHY. THE. FUCK. IS. ATTENDANCE. AN. ACADEMIC. CRITERION, for conditioning students upto 8th grade to not step a line ever and then suddenly giving them the fake freedom of being the country’s “golden youth”.

and don’t even get me started on the absolute glorification of abuse and toxicity in your literature, and all the goddamned fuckless untrue “facts” about our government garbage we’re forced to mug up for marks. and all the transphobia and homophobia and the fucking sexist and abusive jackshit curriculum.

i don’t fucking know dude. i can’t do this anymore. i’ve given up, i hope for death everyday. i keep wanting the apocalypse faster. oh crap, we’ve had that already haven’t we? and that just gave you more opportunity to fuck with our lives further. i can’t. i’m so tired. i’m so fucking tired. do you realise how many students want to end themselves over cbse right fucking now? i don’t have hopes anymore. if i make it, i make it. if i don’t. i don’t. cbse is responsible if something happened. i’m so sick of this. 

but i’ll probably make it because i’m one stubborn fucking motherfucker.

whatever cbse. i hope you rot in hell. i’m exhausted of your bullshit. i’ll see you there and kick you further down into the deepest darkest pits of hell. crap, they’re gonna make a fresh one for you and make you go through the same torture but multiplied a million times. i hate you cbse. i hate you. i hate the goddamn education system and the literal shit of the goverment funded corruption that runs this system.

fuck you cbse. 

sincerely

a very very very very tired 12th grader.