#bizarre beasties

[bizarrebeasties]

Imagine if Sophie & Howl opened a Bed and Breakfast 🍳 💐✨

[bizarrebeasties-shop]

Some pixel art sub badges commissions I worked on recently!

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[sonofshermy]

23+ year old scrapbook/cuttings book ‘for reference’

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

[paces]

[crevicedwelling]

here’s the silliest caterpillar I think I’ve ever seen in the mangroves of Singapore. it wasn’t just hairy, but coated with a thick cottony (wax?) coating that worked quite well to confuse the passing predatory weaver ants.

I did give it a curious poke and the fluff stuck to my finger, with no ill effects. bizarre little beastie, I wonder what it’ll mature into

[marlynnofmany]

Friend-shaped

“She’ll want to pet it,” said a smug voice from the next room. “Humans will pet anything.”

“Even spiky things?” asked the skeptical voice that I recognized as Zhee. “I’ve never had a human want to pet me, and this thing is much worse.”

As curious as I was to see our newest cargo and judge for myself, I first had to finish setting out food for the animals in the next bay. I lugged in bags of dried pellets and fish jerky as the door slid shut behind me, cutting off the sound of Zhee insisting to the delivery person that there was no way under several suns that I would want to touch this new mystery animal. We’d see about that.

I stashed the pellets in the appropriate closet and pulled out a sheet of jerky for each of the three fangy monstrosities that twined around each other, trying to hypnotize me through the bars. I ignored the moving pattern of stripes that probably worked on prey from their world. Working quickly, I set the sheets down on the floor outside the cage, spaced as far apart as possible, then used a gravity wand to lift them through the bars without losing a finger. Left one, right, one, then the middle, to keep the beasties from all jumping on the same treat.

A chorus of happy growls and chewing noises filled the air. Success. I put away the gravity wand and reflected that I absolutely would have liked to scritch all three terrifying predators on the head, but I valued life and limb too much for that.

On to the next room! The doors opened and closed in quick succession. I passed other people loading and uploading various crates, but I only had eyes for the terrarium that looked like it was made of force fields instead of glass. Or maybe some room-temperature version of hard water, given that the person chatting with Zhee was a Waterwill. They had some pretty bizarre tech.

“Ah, here’s the human!” the Waterwill said happily, her voice burbly and vaguely female. “What do you think of your newest live cargo?” She extended what passed for an arm from her column-of-goo body. Beside her, Zhee spread purple pincher arms in a silent display of “ta-dah.”

Inside the tank I saw rocks, sand, a puddle of algae, and the ugliest little ball of snot and spikes that I had ever encountered. Protruding eyes struggled to focus on me like a wall-eyed Chihuahua that had rolled through the most unfortunate of trash piles.

“Wow,” I said, bending down for a closer look. “That’s an animal, all right.”

The Waterwill bobbed up and down. “And is it not, as you say, cutesy-wootsy?”

Zhee made various clicks and taps that were probably skepticism. I couldn’t blame him.

“Well,” I said, struggling for a tactful answer, “It sure is a little one. Looks a bit scared.”

“They always get twitchy when they’re moved around before egg-laying,” the Waterwill said with a dismissive wobble. “It’ll settle down when everybody stops walking by. It’s non-toxic. Maybe once it’s calm—”

The rest of her sentence was cut off by loud snarls from next door, carrying through the hall while both doors were open at the same time. It sounded like a brief squabble over fish jerky, no cause for alarm.

For me, anyway. The animal in the terrarium made a piercing squeak and tried to burrow under the rock, its spines growing visibly longer and flinging droplets of moisture as it trembled violently.

“Oh, that’s bad,” said the Waterwill, all cheer gone. “It could sour the eggs. Everybody be quiet! Move slowly!” She waved two armlets at the other people carrying boxes, who did as she asked.

Zhee was making a whistle that was probably a curse in his own language, or maybe someone else’s. “We’ll get blamed for egg troubles. Would dim light help? I’ll hit the controls.” He moved off on quiet bug legs.

“What else helps?” I asked. “Wait, there’s a manual for this, right?” Without waiting for a response, I unfolded a screen from my pocket and looked for the newest files. There it was. Easily searchable, too.

While I spent a moment on that, the room dimmed and quieted into a soothing nighttime. The other crewmates grabbed the remaining crates, left, and shut the door. I heard someone say to leave oncoming boxes in the hallway for the moment.

“It’s still stressed,” the Waterwill said. “We should have brought another one to soothe it!”

“Hang on, I found the sound files,” I said. “Here’s the soothing one.” At the press of a button, a brief gurgle played, then cut off. “That’s it?”

The animal turned toward me, then back to the rock. No change.

I asked the Waterwill, “I don’t suppose you can make that sound?” When she hesitated, I tried myself. Hard to do without any water around to gargle, but I managed an awkward warble in the back of my throat.

The animal’s shivering stilled.

“Keep doing that!” the Waterwill said with an urgent wave.

I did, feeling silly. But the animal liked it. The trembling ended, and the spines started to retract. When I paused for breath, the creature held perfectly still, then when I started again, the spines continued shortening. After a few moments, it was a slimy ball of green with eyes that stuck out, and soon enough those finally closed. When they opened again, they weren’t bulging any more.

A head lifted from the goo, with a cute little face that chirped curiously.

“Aw, look at you,” I said to it. “All calm and happy.”

It oozed over towards me, moving much like Waterwills did, without any legs. It nuzzled a hatch that I hadn’t noticed in the side of the tank.

“You said it’s non-toxic, right?” I asked, not waiting for a response. I’d skimmed the manual. The hatch opened easily for me to stick my hand in and stroke the slimy little head. It purred like a babbling brook.

“Told you,” said a voice behind me.

Zhee hissed.

I turned to see him handing over credits with a displeased tilt to his antennae. “Did you just lose a bet?” I laughed.

Zhee threw his pincher arms into the air. “It was covered in spikes! No fair changing shape like that.”

“Well, if we’re going to be fair,” I said. “I would have sacrificed a hairbrush to pet it through the spikes, if it liked that kind of thing.”

“Of course you would,” Zhee muttered.

“Righto,” the Waterwill said as she stuck the credits into a wallet pouch that floated among her other miscellaneous bits. “I can see it’s in good care here. Guess I’ll be off.”

I gave the creature one last stroke, then eased my hand out and closed the hatch, waiting to make sure it stayed calm. When it settled back into goo, I stood and joined the other two in soft-footing our way to the door. “I’ll keep an eye on it,” I promised.

“And a hand,” Zhee grumbled.

“I’ve petted worse,” I told him.

“I’m sure you have,” he said. “And I don’t want to hear about it.”

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character of this book. More to come!

[legobiwan]

Okay, ever since the concept art of the Mario Brothers movie got leaked on Reddit, I've been wanting to make this post. And I think now is the time. Gird your loins friends. I am about to overanalyze the hell out of thirty seconds and one concept art of a movie.

A Room of Their Own: An (Over)Analysis

To start with, I want to justify this whole treatise by comparing the concept art of Mario and Luigi's room with what we get in the movie.

Concept Art

Movie

These match up incredibly well. There are a few poster swaps on Mario's wall, the generic baseball team versus an obvious reference to the Mets (a point I'll talk about in a moment); Beastie Boys for the fish person poster (and it's bugging the hell out of me, because the green guy is wildly jogging my memory and I can't quite place it). Luigi's side of the room also gets slightly rearranged, although the objects are mostly the same, minus the swap of the anime mecha figure for an art mannequin.

Now that we've established continuity, let's talk about why we're exploring this in the first place.

I love analyzing people's living spaces in media. They tell such an intimate story about who a person is, what they value, what they're hiding, and so on. And the snippets we get of Mario and Luigi's room, both through the movie and the concept art, say so much about them and (arguably) connect in some measure back to the games and even the cartoons of my youth. So, let's dive in, shall we?

Mario

In both the concept art and the movie, a couple of themes emerge from Mario's side of the room.

Plumbing

It's obvious that Mario's passion is plumbing. There are pipes sticking out from under his bed, pipes stacked in the corner, books on plumbing stacked on his desk, along with all kinds of other related paraphernalia. Regardless of Spike or his father, Mario seems genuinely into plumbing as his vocation (remember, he was the one who was the driving force behind that commercial). Keep this in mind for when we talk about Luigi, because there's a divergence there.

Sports

We know from the movie and general lore that Mario is quite athletic, and seems to enjoys sports. Here, we see posters for baseball and what is presumably the New York City marathon (at least in the movie still); we see a football helmet and some small trophies that one might assume are related to his own sports activities. Is he the absolute, number one winner in all of Brooklyn? Unlikely, given his insecurities about always being "small," about wanting to amount to something. This being said, it's obvious he has some prowess and accomplishment in the world of sporting, perhaps on a high school level. And the whole parkour scene shows that he trains, keeps himself in shape for this type of thing. (As an aside, can you blame Luigi for not being able to keep up? Forget the knees, he's hauling a 15-20 pound bag of plumbing equipment with him! Give the guy a break).

Anyway, this is all unsurprising for our hero archetype. The marathon poster - grit and determination. Baseball and football - all-American sports. Central casting, call one wannabe hero. (Remember, what people showcase in their rooms is generally what is important to them, what they value).

There is a small wrench thrown in here, however (ha! a pun!) And that would be the foam finger featured in the concept art which is a very familiar orange and blue. And that along with the baseball figurine and posters - which have similar coloring and iconography of the intersecting "NY" - lead me to believe that Mario is a Mets fan.

Now, I need make a small digression here to explain why this is important to his character.

The Mets are the long-suffering little brother to the perennially-successful New York Yankees (booooooo). They still hold the modern era record for most losses in a season (their inaugural year, 1962, where they went 40-120). Over the decades, they have been plagued by inept ownership, catastrophic end-of-season collapses, and bizarre events that can only be categorized as "LOLMets." (This Reddit thread is a particularly entertaining history of the franchise's tragi-comic moments).

And aside from being a lifelong masochist fan of this team, I think it's important to bring this up in terms of Mario's character because he sees himself as the underdog while in Brooklyn; as little, as constantly underachieving. It's extremely fitting for Mario's movie depiction that he roots for the eternal underperformer, for a team that has historically been supported by the more blue-collar areas of New York, a fanbase which suffers year after year and yet always comes back for more.

Mess

This is actually my favorite part of Mario's section. Canonically, Mario is a kind of a slob. In both the concept art and movie stills, we see plumbing bits and parts strewn all over the place, pipes shoved underneath the bed, pipes stacked in the corner, half-finished projects and tools running amok his desk. (Note, he's not dirty, just disorganized).

And the thing, this isn't the first time we've seen evidence of this. Luigi, on two separate occasions, either complains about or encounters his brother's habits in the Luigi's Mansion series. (Although the first quote below could be more of a commentary on Luigi's persnickety-ness rather than Mario's laundry habits).

(seriously, Mario. Just how many pizzas did you need?)

There's something...I don't know, endearing or somehow fitting that the titular hero of the Mushroom Kingdom is a domestic disaster. Almost as if whatever energies he can muster are focused solely on hero-ing and plumbing and anything else just...falls by the wayside. (Understandable. There's only so much all of us in our lives have energy for. You have to prioritize). Still, it sets up this contrast between the front Mario puts up and how he's received by the Mushroom Kingdom and who he really is, which he definitely reserves for a select few closest to him, the prime candidate being his brother.

And speaking of that brother...

Luigi

It's unfortunate that we don't get as many quality shots of Luigi's side of the room in the movie, but from what can see, the concept art is pretty consistent with the film.

And I'm being adamant about the consistency of the concept art and the movie, due to the fact we get so little Luigi screen time and yet his room tells us so much about him.

Science

We've got a tech-mech boy here, my friends. Note the somewhat advanced microscope perched on the headboard, the calendar of the motorcycle, the schematic of the racing car, the little jet-rocket ship. Note, in the concept art, the mecha sat prominently on top shelf.

Now, what does this tell us? (Aside from the fact Luigi is a total nerd, which we knew already).

Firstly, Luigi is very into motor vehicles, science (fiction), and possibly robots. That he possibly has some interest in engineering and robotics. This may sound familiar.

Yes, the Super Mario Brothers movie, by intent or not, kept Luigi's mechanical engineering interests intact. (There's a whole other post in here where I could provide further proof of this outside of SPM. I suggest watching the SMB 3 cartoon episode, "Mind Your Mummy" which not only wildly showcases Luigi's engineering skills, but is pretty hilarious).

But I digress.

Here's the interesting contrast. Mario is obvious about his passion for plumbing. Luigi, although canonically more reserved, does take the effort to highlight what is important to him in his room - namely his interest in science and engineering (and photography, which we'll talk about in a minute).

It makes you wonder...Luigi is not a confrontational sort. He goes along with what Mario does because he loves his brother and perhaps he either doesn't know what he wants or is afraid to express it. I personally doubt Luigi's true passion lies in plumbing, from what we see here. It's a means to end.

Now, whether Luigi disavowed engineering due to finances, low self-esteem, family pressures, or if he just wasn't ready to declare who he was...we don't know (I would posit it's some tasty combination of all of the above). But I do feel like it's fair to say Luigi is along for the ride at this point. He loves his brother, is possibly a little too dependent on him. It's not like he's bitter about it (well, on the surface. The Mr. L persona raises some interesting questions) - he's just doing what Mario does because...that's what he's always done. Luigi hasn't found his true footing yet. (You can even look at the fact he carries the toolbag throughout the movie as a kind of metaphorical weight of Mario's interests and goals over his - which, I realize, for a Mario property, is a reeeeeaaaaal stretch. But since I'm overanalyzing three stills from an animated movie about video game plumbers, I might as well go for the gold).

The other aspect of Luigi's interest in fast cars, fast bikes, and fast rockets is how that contrasts with his reserved nature. Luigi is, supposedly, the scaredy cat, the one who won't take risks. And yet what we see fascinating him the most are chunks of metal being hurled through time and space at ridiculous speeds. Wish fulfillment? Or maybe another side of Luigi that even Mario doesn't always get to see.

We also see two ribbons pinned to the wall near the sciency/tech items. Most likely, this had to do with academic achievement I would bet good coins that these achievements were in STEM. Again, Luigi is showcasing this, meaning it's important to him.

In this context, him gravitating towards E. Gadd and his experiments is wholly in-character, despite Luigi's (understandable) anxiety about dealing with undead (but does he say no? Much like his rocket cars, there's a kind hidden recklessness to his character). Mr. L and his robot obsession (and skill) make perfect sense. Luigi's probably been looking for that kind of outlet for quite some time. I can pretty firmly state that the engineering aspect of Mr. L was not brainwashing and it makes you wonder if the other facets of Luigi's personality that rise to surface during that whole episode were planted or there already, just suppressed.

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

Luigi is just a bit of a neat freak. We see this in the hat-cleaning episode referenced above, in the way his side of the room is somewhat meticulous in its organization (in contrast to his brother). He also has a few hilarious quotes in the original Luigi's Mansion that are worth including here that really highlight this side of his personality:

Now that I look at it-- it's full of moth holes! Yecch!" "So much dust! This will never pass the white-glove test!" "Well, they sure did pile odds and ends everywhere… Filthy." "I should probably give that a quick vacuuming…" "Oh, what's this?! Just how I like it… Nice and clean!" "Do Boos wash their faces?"

And what I find interesting about this tendency toward order is how it relates to Luigi's anxiety. I would argue that part of his clean streak is an attempt at controlling his environment, a way to counter that ever-present anxiety. It also seems fitting for the engineer to be far more fastidious about things being just so. Yes, it's a bit of a stereotype - a trope, if you will - but one that might have some teeth in this situation. After all, if you're building race cars that go ridiculous miles per hour, there's no room for error. I think the contrast between the two brothers - Mario's outside world is consistently on the edge of chaos while Luigi's inside world is the one on the precipice - is fascinating.

Sports

Now, it's not like Luigi has zero athletic ability (despite his complaints). We see a tennis racket in his room and a dartboard. He helped Mario beat up Bowser with zero training montage. It's just that Luigi seems to gravitate towards athletic endeavors that require more pinpoint accuracy (not that baseball and football don't, but it's a little different in my mind) and that avoid almost all risk of physical collision. Again, those interests are not what we think of as "stereotypical" of the big hero. And Luigi is a hero, but in a very different way than his brother.

Camera

I don't have too much to say about this one, but I think it's delightful that Luigi owns and uses an old-school camera. We can actually see two black-and-white photos pinned to his wall in the concept art, showing us Luigi's more artistic side, which is kind of neat (and let's not forget the movie subs in an art mannequin for the mecha, which only strengthens this notion of art interest. Maybe he's into the notion cybernetics? It's possible). I suppose I could read into camera thing as an observer vs. participant dynamic (Luigi behind the lens observing while Mario is always in the action), but I wouldn't make an argument any more in-depth, and even that statement is a bit of a leap in a document chock-full of leaps.

Conclusion

If you're expecting a thesis out of this, I'm sorry to disappoint - I don't really have one. I suppose this whole rundown is more of a literature review than anything else, but what I do want to stress is what can be read from the objects in the room and their placement. I can't and won't pretend to know the intentions of the artists here. It's very possible there was far less thought put into the design and layout of these rooms than the long treatise I have just given over to it. This being said, because there is a fair amount of consistency between the concept art and the movie and because there is a fair amount of subtle character moments throughout the film (which have been broken down by other intrepid Tumblr friends), I might lean towards the notion that these design choices do have some degree of intent in subconsciously shaping how we, the viewer, read the brothers.

(And yeah, maybe I just wanted an excuse to pin more evidence onto my "Luigi wanted to be a mechanical engineer and is actually really skilled at robotics and other science" conspiracy thread bulletin board :D

[onesettleronebullet]

what other beasts do you like/do you think you'd go beastwatching for...

You sent me this ask a while back and I actually had a reply but my phone got rid of it by accident but... for me I am willing to go beast watching for any creature that I haven't seen yet, which in Britain is most of them. If I were to make a short list of what I would definitely go for here:

Red Squirrels. I am dying to see one of these guys, please give me their address now (I have their address but I've never seen one still, it's kinda unfair!)

Badgers. I have seen a dead one that had it's head removed and defleshed (I took it home with me) but could I see a living one please. Can the British stop killing them for one (1) second!

Scottish Wildcats. Kinda a hard one to see since their range is even more limited than the Red Squirrel. Still would be neat to take a look at!

European Moles. This blind bastard is literally unfindable. Please let me find her so I can take a flick of him and then rebury them in the ground thank you!

Eurasian Otters. Why haven't I seen this thing once! I guarantee I find it one time, I'm gonna end up seeing it a dozen other times and then it'll slightly lose it's luster. Please let me find them.

Red Deers. The largest deer species that's native to the UK. I would just like to see one because it seems neat. That is all.

Now if I were to make a South African equivalent of this list I have a lot more to work with:

Aardvarks. The creature that brought destruction on the animal kingdom in /Xam myth, it is so weird looking and I wish to see it.

Yellow Mongoose. Kinda overshadowed by it's Meerkat cousins but this freak has some nice quirks like it's rectangular eyes it has for no reason.

Ground Pangolins. I mean look at it. It's a reptilian mammal. It's perhaps the most fantastical of all creatures on earth and I wish to watch it doddering around the Karoo.

Common Elands. The largest antelope on earth. 1.6 metres tall and 600 kg heavy, this shit can jump over you with ease. Every step it makes is accompanied by clicking noises. What's not love about this thing.

Mohol Galagos/Brown Greater Galagos. Either one of these freaky night apes will do... I just really want to see one because they're just so bizarre. What if lemurs were only nocturnal and also looked like Tokoloshe.

Riverine Rabbits. It might seem a bit of an odd pic since they're just bunny but also they're bunny that's critically endangered and are essentially the rabbit of the Karoo so i feel like they'd be interesting to look at specifically.

There are many other beasties (all of them essentially) in both countries that I'd love to look at but these are the major ones!

[naussensei]

I’ve been thinking about the kind of music geto might have listened to in high school and I get the sense that he would listen to a lot of alternative music. My first thought for something of that time period is Queens of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters, maybe even some Radiohead.

He’s an Aquarius so I think he would also listen to some bizarre stuff, perhaps something even heavier like Tool. Overall, I think he’d enjoy a wide variety of music in the general alternative rock/prog rock/metal genre, but he’d also be chill with listening to punk rock stuff too. He’d be the type of person that is more enthralled by the actual lyrics rather than only how something sounds, though a sick drum beat and guitar riff is a good initial hook for him. Idk I can go on forever about this really and obviously I’m not very familiar with any Japanese bands within these genres, but let me know your thoughts.

OMG I LOVE YOUR BRAIN! 🔥

And you took the words out of my mouth because I literally had Radiohead and Foo Fighters in my outline for Geto! But also other ones like Coldplay and Björk. Like you said, I think he would listen to a variety of music but also lean more towards the rock/alternative and even some metal/grunge. Also yeah! I’m sure he’d start listening to some rock/punk (probably courtesy of Gojo’s influence hahaha) I feel like Gojo would be into the kind of music skaters were into. More on the punk side but also maybe some hip hop and rock. Maybe some Beastie Boys even? Or something like Faith No More?

And yeah, I’m also not that well-versed in Japanese music if I’m being very honest 🙈I just remember some bands that were popular, even tho I wasn’t that much into them. But I gotta say, I’m having fun doing research on Japanese music and there really are some bangers out there, and I think a lot may fit Geto’s taste!

Thank you so much for sharing your hc! I love that we both thought of Radiohead and Foo Fighters. The shared braincell at work 😂

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: September 2023

Oh yeah the air is getting crisp and the coats are getting heavier. I'm ready for fall and here's how I spent the month of September!

……….FILM……….

Hook (1991) There's so much to love about this (the sets! every single pirate! And I truly do love the story here) but taking away nostalgia, it really feels like a B movie. And I kinda forgot just how awful adult Peter is. I mean that's the point, but even the stuff with Rufio feels mean-spirited. But Pirate baseball and the croc clock more than make up for any of that.

A Night At The Roxbury (1998) Having never seen it, this was pretty fun. Maybe not as strong as some of the other SNL-inspired movies, but it ended so strong that it more than makes up for anything else.

Strays (2023) Slim movie pickings at the beginning of the month but this turned out to be way better than expected! I was worried all the decent jokes were in the trailer but it was consistent throughout. And a 1.5 hour runtime? The dream.

……….TELEVISION……….

Love is Blind (Episode 4.13 to 4.16) The beauty of missing the first 12 episodes of a season of reality tv is that they replay important clips so frequently that it's like I watched it. Still baffling that anyone signs up for these shows after seeing what happens to folks that go on. Is it hubris? Do they think they'll be different? Truly bizarre.

……….YOUTUBE……….

How Our Property Tax System Robs The Poor to Pay For The Wealthy by Strong Towns and The Suburbs Are Bleeding America Dry | Climate Town (feat. Not Just Bikes) by Climate Town Hey can you tell I'm into city planning and how to move away from crummy design? Can't stress enough that suburbs are a blight on society and it's making cities broke, contributing towards climate change, and ruining good spaces. Push your local councils to move away from minimum parking limits and towards multi-use buildings and public transit. VIDEO (Strong Towns) VIDEO (Climate Town)

when green screen actually makes the movie better by CinemaStix When folks complain about green screen (me included), I think what we're really complaining about is seeing a tool used poorly for the wrong job. Sin City (or another fave of mine, Speed Racer)wouldn't have worked if not for green screen. VIDEO

Why Policing in America has ALWAYS been Broken. by F.D Signifier A thoughtful and thorough crash course on policing in America. VIDEO

……….READING……….

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell (Complete) The beginning is promising but the book is so casual and leans so much on the author's own experiences that I can honestly only recommend it as a loose introduction to cults. I really wanted a deep dive into language, psychology, and sociology but this isn't that. Hey if you know a good book about weaponizing language, let me know.

The Road to Oz and The Emerald City of Oz by L. Frank Baum, Eric Shanower, and Skottie Young (Complete) Finished rereading the omnibus collection of Oz comics and it really is a joy. Young's drawings and Shanower's writing does a lovely job at capturing the whimsy and warmth of Baum's books. Really really great adaptations.

……….AUDIO……….

Guts by Olivia Rodrigo (2023) Listening to this reminds me of what it was like when small problems felt like the biggest problems in the world and there's a sweet comfort in that. Realizing that those troubles passed means that maybe these current ones will too.

Punk Tactics by Joey Valence & Brae (2023) This hasn't hooked me the way that the Underground Sound ep did but I'm still going to give it a bunch more listens before I decide if the Beastie Boys schtick has worn off.

……….GAMING……….

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The Mof1 Crew is dealing with the aftermath of causing some light domestic terrorism. So the usual.

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) Drama with the rival elves is ramping up and who knows what will happen next! You can read about it here.

And that’s it. See you in October!

[johnnytoons]

Happy “Simple Silly Sketch Saturday Night” my friends!! Tonight’s oddball offering features this bizarre, tentacle-headed beastie. Lol! I hope everyone is having a WONDERFUL weekend! 🤪✍🏻📒

[bizarrebeasties]

If kiki made her living as a witch apothecary🌿

[fangirl-nadir]

Imagine if they remade Jurassic Park where everything is exactly the same except the dinosaurs are replaced with scientifically accurate beasties. The Velociraptors are chicken sized bastards with the courage of a hungry seagull. The Spinosaurus is exceedingly bizarre

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

About Me: Favorite Albums

Music isn't something I talk much about here on my blog, mostly because I don't feel like I'm qualified enough to talk about these sorts of things. I know movies like the back of my hand, but I'm definitely not smart enough to dissect what makes music good beyond "I like how it sounds."

But hey, I'm trying to help you get to know me, so here are thirty albums I like the sound of from a variety of artists. My big rule is I have to like at least five songs on any given album for it to qualify. I've listed my top three from each here, so the other two I'll leave to your imaginations (except for my #1 favorite, for which you'll get all of my top 5).

Honorable mentions: Pinkerton - Weezer, Under the Covers, Vol. II - Ninja Sex Party, Montero - Lil Nas X, Poodle Hat - Weird Al, Bad Hair Day - Weird Al, Master of Puppets - Metallica, License to Ill - Beastie Boys, Thriller - Michael Jackson, Purple Rain - Prince, Teenage Dream - Katy Perry, and the so bad it’s good masterpiece Angelic 2 the Core - Corey Feldman. I also didn't include the soundtracks to stage musicals, but the 90s version of Cats and the 80s version of Starlight Express are also some of my favorites.

30. The Hazards of Love - The Decemberists

A tale of a tragic romance told in the form of a concept album, this would almost certainly make the list even if it didn't have some of the best villain songs I've ever heard.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Won’t Want for Love (Margaret in the Taiga)”

2. “The Queen’s Rebuke/The Crossing”

1. “The Rake’s Song”

29. Youthanasia - Megadeth

Quite simply, a fantastic metal album. Not much more to say than that!

Favorite Songs:

3. “Youthanasia”

2. “A Tout le Monde”

1. “Family Tree”

28. In the Court of the Crimson King - King Crimson

Even if it was just the semi-title track that I loved, this album would probably make the list. It's prog rock perfection.

Favorite Songs:

3. "Moonchild"

2. "21st Century Schizoid Man"

1. "The Court of the Crimson King"

27. Saturday Night Fever - Various Artists

The Bee Gees obviously are the stars of the show on this soundtrack album, but it also has one of my favorite things: Disco remixes of classical music.

Favorite Songs:

3. “A Fifth of Beethoven”

2. “Night on Disco Mountain”

1. “Stayin’ Alive”

26. The Marshal Mathers LP 2 - Eminem

While the original album is a classic in its own right and nothing on this one is as immediately iconic as "The Real Slim Shady" or "Stan," I do think that this older, more mature Eminem reflecting back on his career and flexing his skills is overall the better package. This was a real comeback for him, after multiple less-than-impressive comebacks, and it is glorious.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Love Game”

2. “The Monster”

1. “So Far…”

25. McCartney II - Paul McCartney

This is what happens when you let a beloved rock star get really weird. It’s so experimental and quirky; only a Beatle could get this bizarre.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Frozen Jap”

2. “Coming Up”

1. “Temporary Secretary”

24. Painkiller - Judas Priest

One of those rare times where the songs on a metal album are actually, genuinely as fucking awesome as the album cover art.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Night Crawler”

2. “Painkiller”

1. “A Touch of Evil”

23. Songs for the Deaf - Queens of the Stone Age

With the assistance of Dave Grohl, Queens of the Stone Age really put their best foot forward for their breakout album. As hard as most of the tracks go, my absolute favorite is the eerier, slower hidden track about cannibalism.

Favorite Songs:

3. “You Think I Ain’t Worth a Dollar, But I Feel Like a Millionaire”

2. “First It Giveth”

1. “Mosquito Song”

22. Crash Twinsanity - Spiralmouth

The day I found out this entire soundtrack was a capella, my mind was blown. You mean to tell me this whole album is just mouth noises? It really does have the Crash vibe down.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Worm Chase”

2. “Rusty Walrus Chase”

1. “The Evil Twins”

21. Awesome Mix Vol. 2 - Various Artists

Every Guardians movie soundtrack is great, but out of the three it’s the second movie’s soundtrack that reigns supreme. It kicks off with ELO, scores the climactic final battle with Fleetwood Mac, and features a groovy disco remix of the Guardians theme music with vocals provided by David Hasselhoff over the credits. It’s all killer, no filler.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Guardians Inferno”

2. “Mr. Blue Sky”

1. “The Chain”

20. Mouth Dreams - Neil Cicierega

The way the songs flow into each other, the subtle jokes scattered throughout… Really, the only thing holding this back is some songs are just a bit too weak to justify bumping it above its predecessor.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Closerflies”

2. “Ribs”

1. “Fredhammer”

19. Mouth Moods - Neil Cicierega

From fantastic mashups that combine a dozen songs into one coherent whole to remixes that alter a single song and completely warp the premise to the point of absurdity, this is absolutely the highest point of the Mouth series.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Annoyed Grunt”

2. “Shit”

1. “Wow Wow”

18. Ten - Pearl Jam

Homelessness. Suicide. Incest. Murder. This might be one of the single darkest albums of the grunge era, and it firmly cemented Pearl Jam as a force to be reckoned with. Eddie Vedder’s unique vocals really are what makes these songs stand out from the crowd.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Alive”

2. “Jeremy”

1. “Even Flow”

17. The Symbol Remains - Blue Öyster Cult

You wouldn’t think a 70s rock band that loves singing about weird occult stuff could drop anything good five decades into their career, but BOC ain’t any old rock band. Only they could take a silly, memetic concept like the stereotypical “Florida Man” and turn it into a song that has enough weird and mystic vibes that it can easily sit alongside songs about aliens, eldritch horrors, vampires, and zombie Joan Crawford in their discography.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Tainted Blood”

2. “Florida Man”

1. “Box in My Head”

16. Impera - Ghost

One of Ghost's most solid albums to date. It has a few low points ("Twenties") but the highs are so high they easily eclipse those few lesser tracks.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Spillways”

2. “Hunter’s Moon”

1. “Call Me Little Sunshine”

15. The Presidents of the United States of America – The Presidents of the United States of America

I have very fond memories of listening to this in the car growing up. It’s such a charming piece of 90s rock, with the band foretelling their ultimate fate with the track “We Are Not Going To Make It.” Oh well, they manage to make it onto this list at least.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Kitty”

2. “Lump”

1. “Peaches”

14. Born This Way – Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga has fallen from the lofty heights she once stood upon, not quite being as massive as her heyday... But with an album that gets you this high, there's really nowhere to go but down. This album has a song for everyone, and for someone with taste as weird as my own, it had a load of great tracks.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Bad Kids”

2. “Bloody Mary”

1. “Judas”

13. In Utero - Nirvana

You can definitely tell that Nevermind was a more polished, commercial album when you listen to this one. The songs here are so much more raw than on their more famous album, with so much more bite to them. It can be a bit off-putting for sure, but this is definitely the short-lived band's best work (if not my favorite).

Favorite Songs:

3. “Dumb”

2. “Rape Me”

1. “Pennyroyal Tea”

12. Undertale Soundtrack – Toby Fox

Easily my favorite instrumental soundtrack of all time—and considering all the fantastic game soundtracks I’ve heard in my time, this is saying something. Every single track is a fantastic and fitting tune for wherever they’re used in-game, and even if my favorite track is the obvious pick, even I’ll admit that it’s not the best one (that would probably be #2).

Favorite Songs:

3. “Death By Glamour”

2. “Battle Against a True Hero”

1. “Megalovania”

11. Metal Gear Rising Soundtrack – Various artists

A game as insane and metal as Rising needs a soundtrack to match, and to say this one delivered is an understatement. Every song is one of the most badass things you will ever hear, with a good chunk of them elaborating on the motivations and personalities of the bosses. It says a lot that the weakest song is Blade Wolf's, and even that's just "okay" as opposed to "awful."

Favorite Songs:

3. “Red Sun”

2. “A Stranger I Remain”

1. “It Has to be This Way”

10. Seven Inches of Satanic Panic - Ghost

I don’t think this is better than their full albums, but I definitely think this is one of the best musical one-two punches I’ve ever heard. “Mary on a Cross” and “Kiss the Go-Goat” are two of Ghost’s finest songs, and this is where they came from

9. I Get Wet – Andrew W.K.

In the proud tradition of AC/DC, pretty much every song on this album sounds the same—and none of the songs rock any less for it. It’s a collection of awesomely stupid anthems about partying, hot girls, and NYC that goes harder than it has any need to.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Ready to Die”

2. “She is Beautiful”

1. “I Get Wet”

8. Running With Scissors – Weird Al

This was a big turning point in Al’s career—it’s when he debuted his new look, sans glasses and with his hair grown out—and for me at least it’s the album where I feel like he put all the lessons he learned over the 90s to good use. It’s true that there’s a few lines that haven’t aged well but the overall package is strong enough that it overshadows the blemishes. It has his strongest “movie recap” parody song, his best polka medley, and his funniest and most iconic epic-length song; how can it not make my top ten?

Favorite Songs:

3. “The Saga Begins”

2. “Polka Power!”

1. “Albuquerque”

7. Doolittle - Pixies

It’s genuinely tough picking between this and Surfer Rosa, but when it comes right down to it Doolittle is the one that has more tracks I like. I don’t think anything here is quite as good as “Where is My Mind?” from the latter album, but that album doesn’t have “Mr. Grieves” on it.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Here Comes Your Man”

2. “Wave of Mutilation”

1. “Monkey Gone to Heaven”

6. Invisible Touch - Genesis

I think Invisible Touch is Genesis’s undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Take the lyrics to “Land of Confusion.” In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. “In Too Deep” is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I’ve heard in rock.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Domino”

2. “Land of Confusion”

1. “Invisible Touch”

5. Mandatory Fun – Weird Al

As of 2023 this is Al’s last album, and if he never makes another it’s hard to argue that he didn’t go out on top. The style parodies are some of his best ever, the polka medley is fantastic, and the parodies here are all leagues better than the songs they’re spoofing. “Foil” in particular is worth singling g out for being a hilarious subversion of the stereotypical food-related parodies Al was known for back in the day.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Foil”

2. “Handy”

1. “Jackson Park Express”

4. ABBA Gold - ABBA

Is it cheating to put a greatest hits compilation on this list? Well, since it's my list, the answer is no! An album like this is all bangers, no filler, every song I love in one place one after the other. The omission of “Tiger” is the only flaw.

3. Nevermind - Nirvana

It's pretty inarguable that this is a more polished and commercial grunge album than In Utero, but no matter what Kurt or the other band members say this is still one of the best albums ever made. My only gripe with it is that the song that gets the most attention, "Smells Like Teen Spirit," overshadows a lot of songs better than it. "In Bloom" is the best track in my opinion, with its lyrics abut fans with zero media literacy still very relevant even to this day.

Favorite Songs:

3. “Polly”

2. “Come as You Are”

1. “In Bloom”

2. The Number of the Beast – Iron Maiden

From the band with the greatest album covers of all time comes a metal album featuring the hard rock version of "Roxanne," an epic seven minute track, and the greatest song condemning the actions of colonizers. Oh, and the title track is pretty awesome too. Considering how lukewarm the first two albums are, this might be one of the greatest glow ups in metal history, going from a decent but not spectacular act to one of the greatest bands of all time.

Favorite Songs:

3. “22 Acacia Avenue”

2. “Hallowed be Thy Name”

1. “Run to the Hills”

1. Spirit Phone – Lemon Demon

Maybe I'm just a basic bitch for calling this my favorite album ever, but the fact of the matter is that this whole album is basically tailor made for my interests. Songs about conspiracy theories? Songs about urban legends like Gef and Polybius? Songs that make fun of Reaganomics? I genuinely could not imagine a better set of songs than this if I tried.

Favorite Songs:

5. “Reaganomics”

4. “Touch-Tone Telephone”

3. “When He Died”

2. “Sweet Bod”

1. “Cabinet Man”

[webbywatcheshorror]

Mad God (2021)

Mad God. How can you even summarize this movie? It’s an 82 minute long stop motion animation film that takes you on one hell of a journey down, down, down, until there is nowhere left to go. And you can’t go back. This movie is an experience, and unless your friends are awesome, probably not one you just pop on for a relaxing Friday evening.

I took two entire pages of notes for this review, front and back on each. (For comparison, usually I get one front and half a back.) There is so much to unpack and talk about, but I don’t really intend to bog this review down with too much detail, so I’ll try to keep it as brief as I can.

Review under the cut, beasties and ghouls, and as always, SPOILERS ahead!

Mad God is incredibly surreal. It’s like talking a stroll through the uncanny valley- most things are identifiable or comparable enough to familiar things, but taken one step to the left, metaphorically speaking. Things look like you should know what they are, or what they’re doing, but there’s an element of Wrongness to them that keeps you just a little weirded out, sometimes a little (or more) disgusted.

The movie starts with the destruction of the Tower of Babel, and a scroll with the Bible verses of Leviticus 26:27-35, which talk about the retribution mankind can expect should they turn from God. After that, we start our descent, along with a figure I shall be referring to as the Little Assassin, or LA for short. (Originally I had taken to calling them the Little Explorer, but their role is a bit more proactive than that. Another note- they’re not actually little per se, but compared to many of the environments they traverse and creatures they encounter, they look small. When we see where they began, however, they’re quite large compared to the only other living being we see.)

LA’s gender is neither relevant nor identifiable. They descend through layer after layer of bizarre dreamlike worlds, if your dreams are sticky looking and warped. The music is melancholy, despondent, even. This is a one way trip for both us and the Little Assassin. This movie is not one you forget, whether you like it or not.

Death is prominent is every layer, every new place we journey through, as pointless as it is ceaseless. Small creatures are trampled underfoot, hungry creatures devour others, several monsters are seen killing, apparently, just for the hell of it. In one layer, there is an assembly line of featureless workers, endlessly toiling to create something they will never understand. Many of them just straight up die, crushed and run over and burned, with the world around them taking no notice whatsoever. It feels hopeless. 

When LA arrives at their destination, they find an enormous pile of briefcases like the one they carry. LA is not the first sent down. There have been countless others before them. Like the others, LA is unsuccessful in their mission- the bomb they brought never detonates, the the Little Assassin is snatched up by yet another incomprehensible creature.

LA’s fate is just as miserable as their journey has been. Violated, ripped apart, even their memories are displayed for the ‘medical staff (played by real people)’ to see, all while still alive and conscious. The cross section of the facility shows that they are far from the first to be treated this way- it’s possible that every other Assassin sent down has met the same end. 

There is a brief moment, in which a screaming ‘baby’ is taken from their body, that feels like hope. That there is life that came from this gruesome brutality. But like all the other creatures and beings we see before it, the worm shaped infant creature is killed to create something else new. (In this case, it appears to be an entirely new universe??? Or the Alchemist is just hallucinating very vividly.)

The flashback sequence shows us that, far above, a man with the longest acrylics and a yarmulke has seen the vile world(s?) beneath, and he intends to destroy it. This man is also an actual actor, not animated, which feels so off-putting, but it works. It is implied that this is the titular Mad God, though which definition of ‘mad’ we’re using isn’t clear, and really it could be either, or both. He begins to send down Assassins. When we return to the present, and just before the credits roll, he sends down the next one. It all begins anew.

The overall feeling I get from Mad God is that the cycle of life and death is neverending, and you may never see the end result of all your struggles. Death happens, and the world keeps going. You work and work, all for a goal which you do not see and will never know. Even that which you are called to do can be as futile as everything else. The cycle is endless, cruel and indiscriminate. It’s bleak, honestly.

Mad God is a fever dream. It’s a nightmare you’re having while awake. It’s chaos. It’s disturbing. It’s haunting. It’s fucking AMAZING, whether or not you enjoy the movie. However, this is not a movie for everyone. There is violence, endless death, a non-zero amount of sexual content, not to mention how fucking disgusting so much of it looks. But it’s unlike anything else I’ve ever watched. Somehow, Phil Tippett took a dream sequence and made it visible. On the surface, all these different layers and events seem disconnected, but the way they flow into each other just feels natural.

This one gets ten ghosts outta ten. I’ve only seen it twice, but it has left such a mark on me. I don’t know if I could ever translate that into something I could share, but there’s something different about the person I became after experiencing Mad God. The set design, the environments, the fucking SOUND design, they are all incredible to behold. I doubt there will be another like this one anytime soon, and maybe that’s for the best.

[tranquilitybasehotelcasino]

i need a weird and uncommon and gross yet bizarrely cute little pet of some kind like a leech or a millipede or something. maybe a cockroach or a really huge snail. i don’t trust myself to take care of a snake or a big lizard i only ever want to have something that i could give a good home to and at this point that would be some sort of large bug or squishy aquatic beastie