#bl and romance are my comfort reads obviously

[witchcraftingboop]

Would you please recommend mangas?

I'm not gonna lie to you, baby, my tastes are trash. You can call me the garbage man because bish I'm swimming in that shit, scooping it all up and dragging it back to my lil apt-- or maybe the Grinch... oh well!

Anywhoville, here are the mangas I've read physical copies of since this all started back on April 13th:

Fangs by Billy B-something - BL - I like their take on modern vampires. Could do without the crazy dude randomly (coincidentally) escaping from jail

Kaiju Girl Caramelize by someone - Straight, Romcom (wtvr that is in manga genres), takes place in a high school - hilarious and I love it

SpyxFamily also by someone - Idk what genre this is honestly but it's funny and good and I love it

Sleepy Princess In The Demon Castle - I have all 20 volumes because it is just a cute lil fun lil read

So I'm A Spider, So What - Okay, does the mc grind like crazy to level up? Yes but it's also hilarious and a lovely lil isekai about how a high schooler is reborn as a weak bb spider and becomes super op and challenges gods and demon lords ... 10/10, have every volume out rn and love it

Heaven Official's Blessing (light novels) - BL, Danmei - Listen. I love these lil fucks and I love how these are written -> Currently on book 2/5 in my lil shelf, six comes out in Sept I think

Given - BL - It's an okay series. I read it all (that's out), and it is amusing while reading, but ultimately probably won't read again

Fruits Basket - grew up on it, love it

Chobits - unfortunately grew up on it (why do I not remember how sexual this shit was like jfc did that throw me for a Loop lmao)

Savior's Book Cafe Story In Another World - Isekai (of a 30yo, not a teen for once), romance -- I adore this lil series. It's a cozy lil hug in a book

Uzumaki by Junji Ito - Horror - classic, love his art style and story telling, I don't find horror manga or anime scary though so I read it more like comedy tbh

I Want To Eat Your Pancreas - Tragedy(?), Romance(?), set in high school - I went into this expecting and knowing nothing and I enjoyed it a lot

A list of BL I read and enjoyed: I Didn't Mean to Fall in Love, There Are Things I Can't Tell You(💜), Sotus vol 1, Killing Stalking (??? is it BL idk,, it's B), Midnight Rain, The Flower That Seems To Truly Dance, Loved Circus, The Snake Who Loved A Sparrow (look out for anatomy oddities), Sasaki & Miyano, Secret XXX, Therapy Game

The Witch & The Beast

A Silent Voice

Fire Force, omnibus 1 (dunno about later ones cause this is the only series I didn't just buy complete)

My next reads are gonna be the series I just bought, so Demon Slayer, Ouran Host Club (again, childhood fave), Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Ghoul Re, & Choujin X.

After that, the next batch'll likely be: Bofuri, Arifureta, & Overlord (all isekai - or in Bofuri's case video game life). Which I can recommend watching in the anime forms as well.

But yeah those are pretty much all the series I like that I can name off the top of my hear rn. There are definitely quite a bunch I'm forgetting, but I cannot be bothered because this lil answer has already gone on for a long time and been interrupted 4+ times by my Boss' after hours inquiries into his own goddamn schedule I'm going to beat this man with a sandal

But yeah that's it, anon, pillage through my wares as you please!

[absolutebl]

Industry question for you, please: Why is it that it seems that Thai BL in particular has some really systemic issues with writing endings? Screwed-up pacing/editing, out-of-character/illogical actions, not being very satisfying... it seems like a show avoiding that fate is more of an exception than the rule, unfortunately. Do a lot of them just... not write the ending ahead of time? 😅 That would make having these sort of wacked-up endings at least make some sense, but... really, it makes *no* sense to me that that would be the actual standard writing strategy-- I mean, for example, one of the best living novel authors I know of *always* has very satisfying endings, literally without fail (I have read everything he's written and been perfectly content with the ending of every one), and the reason for that is he purposefully always writes the endings of his books *first*, then works everything back up to that point. Similarly, some of the best TV shows I've seen (from any country-- and this does actually include some Thai ones, to be fair) were written either all in one go or at the *very* least with their endings obviously already very firmly in mind, regardless of if they were completely original or were adaptations of some other source material. So... why does this often seem to be such a difficulty for the writers of Thai BL? 😅 (Sorry if I sound a little salty here, but endings either make or break all fiction for me {novels, manga/manhwa, TV, movies, games, whatever}, and I've been getting burned what seems to be more and more often lately with shows being great for the vast majority of their runtime but then inexplicably totally botching the landing, seemingly out of nowhere-- so I'm a bit frustrated with that when it seems to be a really simply-solved problem {that, indeed, has already been solved by many others before}: JUST WRITE THE DAMN ENDING *FIRST* and then work up to it? 🙃😅)

Endings huh? You a romance reader by nature? (Wait, no, you said... HE. So... Sparks? Green?) Anygay, where was I?

But yeah, I get it. I've always fancied the dessert course the most, myself.

To answer your question, not sure. I'm assuming its a narrative expectation based in culture. Like Japan and their lanes, China and 6 act structure, or Korea's adoration of love triangles. And producing culture comes to film and storytelling with its own set narrative conceits, archetypes, and tropes and aren't proscriptive but are leaned on a lot. Much as they come to film with a certain style as well.

Think about the "look" of Korean BL compared to the "look" of Taiwanese BL, for example. They have an entirely different flavor to them. Korean stuff is usually all bright and airy, lots of distance shots, super clean and uncluttered, filtered and filmy and atmospheric. Taiwanese stuff is much closer, more grainy, more bold with it's color choices and contrasts, kind-up n your face and gritty, a bit messy sometimes.

It's jarring to go from one to the other.

After watching nothing but Asian dramas for so long, I always find it jarring to go back to American shit. It feels over-acted and unsubtle and kind of brash. Over all "loud" and in my face. Jarring.

So when first encountering 4 or 6 act structure most westerners feel a little unmoored, it doesn't feel comfortable until you sink into it and leave 3 & 5 behind.

I'm mean I'm so used to K-dramas with that arbitrary year or more separation in the final episode I;m now shocked when it's not there.

I guess what I'm saying is maybe it's just a thing with Thailand, not to put that much truck in endings. The way (especially) romances do in the western world. There's a very fixed idea of what an HEA should look like in the west. Thailand may not share that idea.

I've not read the source books of any of these BLs, so I don't know if this is just their narrative style or not.

I mean there are some Thai BLs with good (if not great) endings, and plenty of Korean BLs with terrible middles, and far too many Taiwanese BLs with bad beginnings.

Ya just kinda get used to it, I guess.

15 Thai BLs with Good Endings

A Tale of Thousand Stars

Bad Buddy

Lovely Writer

2gether

Be My Favorite

Dark Blue Kiss (possibly my favorite on this list)

Destiny Seeker

Make a Wish

Naughty Babe

SOTUS

[kireshai]

Current Watchlist Game

I was tagged by @iamdarthbader, and honestly I took too long to get this done because I had the stupid idea of giffing things and that takes me forever. Here we go!

Currently Watching (Somewhat in order of enjoyment)

Love In The Air - I'm here for messy, toxic and epic romances. The show is insane and so giffable, it is just a ton of fun for me. I've also enjoyed a bunch of the background music, there are some real bangers in there.

Vice Versa - I've been enjoying this since the first episode, and it's been pretty solid if not great throughout. The visual design - sets, costuming, post-production - have been fantastic and the colour theming is so well done.

The Eclipse - An intriguing mystery with amazing production design and UST through the roof? This is shaping up to be an amazing show with really important messaging regarding non-comformity. Khaotung not playing a softboy is also new and interesting.

Unforgotten Night - Possibly the most unintentionally hilarious show I've seen in a while (or maybe casting Yoon after his history of crack was intentional). I have so much fun with the bizarre choices in this show, and I do not regret my decision to re-use the shitty tigger tattoo gif for this post.

About Youth - It's only 2 episodes so far, but I'm digging the vibe and style of the show. Got some great music, and I will not be taking questions about why I chose to show the second couple in the gif.

My Only 12% - I started this one a little late, but I've caught up now. Earth's ability to convincingly play a high schooler is criminal, and I'm a big fan of the potential for an uno reverse pining plot. Chomping at the bit for the timeskip already.

Takara-kun and Amagi-kun - This reminds me so much of the heart-rending high-school shonen-ai I've read for years. Sweet and simple, the actors are obviously a bit new to things, but they're doing an admirable job for newbies.

Currently Rewatching

Triage - I will probably never stop rewatching Triage. The plot was so strong, I loved so many of the performances, the medical scenes were really top-tier (except the CPR, lol), and there was some really amazing camerawork that elevated the material.

Manner of Death - I have ascended to the role of Sammon simp. It definitely helps that Max and Tul are such strong actors, especially together. The murder and human trafficking show has become a comfort watch for me, please don't ask why.

Love Mechanics (2022) - I have loved this new version so much more than the original attempt. I'm really glad they got a redo and that Yin and War returned. War is just a really strong actor and Yin has come so far since the first time around.

Fish Upon the Sky - I actually love me some wacky comedy BLs, and while not the strongest, I have a lot of fun with this. I was brought back to it by watching the trailer for Pond and Phuwin's upcoming show.

Looking Forward To...

Never Let Me Go - Pond and Phuwin's upcoming show looks super angsty and dramatic. I dig it. Also, why do all the shows this year have mafia, lol?

Moonlight Chicken - I took way too long to watch 1000 Stars and Cupid's Last Wish, but I was so glad when I did. Earth and Mix work really well together, and I'm interested in seeing them in something a little less sweet and innocent this time around.

Manifesting an official announcement for... Transplant - Please, I want this so much. Please, please, please, please... You cannot be surprised by this.

I have no idea on the etiquette of who I should tag, but I'd like to ask @queersouthasian, @gillianthecat and @thequeenofsastiel to have a go.

[heretherebedork]

Random Midnight Museum thought: Maybe it's just because I'm ace, but TBH I've never needed any romance (straight, gay, or otherwise) to have any 'physical' confirmation onscreen or on-page for it to still obviously be canon romance. For example, I've read so many of those old plot-heavy light-BL mangas where the leads not only never had a bed scene but some never even kissed, yet they were obviously still life partners in-story, and that was plenty fine enough for me. Or even elements like romances (of any persuasion) in some other plot-heavy stuff where, say, one character ends up sacrificing themself for the other a short while after mutually confessing or something, like okay sure they may have never gotten a chance to consummate the relationship or whatnot, but they were obviously still in love, and would obviously have been partners, you know? So to me all of that still counts as romance. I mean, don't get me wrong, I also do still enjoy seeing characters in fiction getting good and kissed/etc. (if they want to) just as much as the next person, haha. I'm just saying that if Museum does continue to go the no-kissing/etc.-onscreen route all the way through the ending, that wouldn't necessarily mean that the characters aren't still canon romantic partners in-story (and not just in all of our head-canons, which I fully admit I've been deep in right from the start right along with you, and am never gonna let die no matter what the narrative ends up saying, haha). Anyway. TL;DR: Maybe I'm just old and remember the time when high-heat (or really ANY heat) content wasn't as prevalent as we have now (plus, you know: ace), but like, just because there's no kissing/sexual stuff onscreen doesn't necessarily mean they're not still an actual couple? IDK, I just felt like adding that to all the discourse I've been seeing about this show in general, haha. 🤷‍♀️

Okay, as another ace (and, for that matter, mostly aro) person... this is an interesting ask that also goes a lot into how queer relationships are shown and characterized and what makes a relationship a life partner/romantic relationship and what that means and there are so many more qualified people to discuss this than me...

But I'm watching Midnight Musem and I watch a lot of BL and I have my own little subset of knowledge so let's try this... And if I fuck up, I'm doing my best.

The main issue here boils down to is... what makes a romance and what are looking for in a romance?

Like, when I talk about not expecting anything queer in Midnight Museum I am calling back to the days of my youth when any queerness in a mainstream show was in your imagination. I am calling back to the days when I called myself a slasher and I wrote all kinds of queer relationships into stories that were never, ever going to do that.

And that is what I expect from Midnight Museum.

But what I see here is a high correlation in your ask between high heat and confirmed romance and those are two very separate and very different issues that cannot be addressed in the same breath.

I have zero high heat thoughts about Midnight Museum. Even if they do make it queer and even if they do have romance it will not be high heat. It will be, most likely, a confession and a maybe maybe maybe kiss. Maybe. And that if it's confirmed queer in the show which I am very much not saying is going to happen.

And putting 'confirmed queer romance' and 'high heat' on the same level of importance is... something I'm not comfortable with, honestly.

When I say that I think KhathaDome isn't going to be canon or happen in the show, I don't mean 'they're not gonna fuck but the show will say they're in a relationship'. I mean 'the show is never going to mention or imply them to be in any form of romantic relationship'.

Yes, in the past, I have read and watched and enjoyed and loved many queer ships that were not canonically queer. No hesitation. I still do. I am planning to enjoy Midnight Museum, after all!

But your ask seems to imply that just the idea of them living together is enough to imply a relationship and that's just... not true, honestly. If the show implies they share a bed on the regular despite not needing to and live together and share a life or has a love confession? That'd be a confirmed queer relationship and then Midnight Museum would have given us the relationship as something that happened in the show, canonically.

I am struggling with this because, as someone who doesn't care about high heat at all and mostly ignores it even in shows I enjoy, I still find the idea that queer relationships can be just sort of vaguely implied in 2023 and still be considered enough.

If Midnight Museum gets to the same level of queer that Good Omens, I will be ecstatic. Because no, queerness is not 'just' about sex or making out or high heat. But it is about being queer and being in a relationship.

But I don't expect that here. At all. I expect the show to go on its merry way teasing us with hints of something but making sure that it always stays friendship in the show because that's what they're doing. Am I certain? No. Who knows? I don't know, I can't predict that stuff.

But the idea that the dichotomy is high heat versus low heat in this scenario is a false one. This about queer versus not queer and this is about a relationship versus a friendship. Implying a life partnership that they choose in each other is one thing and that would be welcome but that is not a guarantee and that is not what most of us are hoping for.

I do think that a kiss is important to many aspects of making a romantic relationship (I know @absolutebl holds to that strongly and I do agree with them) but I would be happy if this show even implied any kind of relationship...

Anyway.

This went on forever, I did my best to express this but what I'm really trying to say is that no one is implying that they're not going to be close and in each other's lives when we say it's not going to be a queer show, we're saying that the show itself is not going to embrace their relationship as a romantic one regardless of the heat level.

But I think the real answer is... no. It's not enough anymore to just vaguely imply that maybe they're in relationship but one that never involves kisses or saying the word or speaking of their love. It's not enough. The world is moving past that.

[layzeal]

Hi.....Do you mind if I ask you some random thing? I used to love shounen and shoujo manga equally....But ever since I found BL manga 3 years ago, my interest in shoujosei (especially het romance) decrese a lot, and what I search for is just the dynamic between mc (male) and male lead...I don't want to read mc (female) and male lead or mc (male) and female lead...And what I want to read mostly are just mlm or wlw stories....

What do you think is happenning to me? Is it really weird?

hmm I'd like to shoot a question back and ask: why do you think it might be weird? is there any reason you feel like you have to like all types of romance?

my answer would just be... hey! you found another type of genre you like!! congrats!

while i can't say i entirely relate, since i do still love consuming media that's either mlm, wlw, mlw, etc. i completely understand where that burnt out feeling of tired heterosexual romance comes from. after a certain point, especially if you've consumed a lot from the same genre, it all starts becoming very tired very fast, so stories with same-sex partners can feel very refreshing, especially if handled in a way you particularly enjoy!

that's something that sorta happened to me, actually. in c-novels such as mdzs, yuwu and jwqs, i found the exact sweet spot of "stories about queer characters that are not about them being queer, but being queer is an essential part of it, and both their personal feelings as well as the society's surrounding them are handled in the way that appeals to me the most", and this is something that, no matter how well written the heterosexual romance is, it obviously will never be able to compare to. it is a specific type of angst and catharsis that i didn't know how much i needed until i'd finally found it!

so... nah, you're fine! you're just exploring and having fun with different types of romantic stories! no need to overthink it!!

however, if you do still miss reading straight romance but is feeling very burnt out on what you know, i'd reccomend exploring different genres, authors, stories from different countries, etc etc. get out of your comfort zone and seek something truly new! but also don't feel like you're morally obligated to it. you have the entire rest of your life to read all type of stories! enjoy the ones that are calling to you now <3

[koyangii]

Greetings and first review: Old-fashioned Cupcake (2022)

Hello everyone. My name is Nico, and I’m an avid consumer of BL content. For those who accidentally found this blog and don’t know what I’m talking about, BL stands for “Boys Love”, which is a genre of books, movies or TV series that portraits romance between two men. I’ve been defying (and enjoying!) the world of BL for about 8 years and yes, I’ve watched and read a lot of them and have been keeping my opinions to myself… until now! I thought that it might be fun to talk about some BLs I liked or disliked, make friends, and, perhaps, spread the word of this amazing genre (lol). Anyway, that being the case, I would like to start this blog doing a review about the very last BL I watched: Old-Fashioned Cupcake (2022).

Old-Fashioned Cupcake is a Japanese BL starring Takeda Kouhei as Nozue, a 39 year old guy who is too comfortable with his unchangeable routine and is not willing to take new risks and challenges, and Kimura Tatsunari as Togawa, Nozue’s 29 year old subordinate, who has a crush on his boss and a lot to teach about enjoying the good things in life. One day, the two of them are working together and decide to take a break after a meeting with a client. They sit on a bench at a park and two teenage girls are next to them, giggling and chatting happily. Looking at them, Nozue starts to talk about how girls always seem to be truly happy and excited, unlike boys, who can’t be like that even if they’re very young. Togawa, who notices that his boss is stuck in a routine, suggests that they could pretend to be girls together. And that’s when things start to get interesting, but before we continue, the following paragraphs contain spoilers, so beware of that! 

Well, of course Nozue likes the idea and they start to play pretend, doing what they called “anti-aging activities”: going out to cafés, eating nice pancakes and having intimate conversations. As they are spending their time together, Nozue starts to enjoy trying different things little by little: first, he tries a smoothie instead of his regular coffee, then, he invites his co-workers to lunch. He even changes his old foldable phone to a new smartphone. At the same time, Togawa’s urge to confess his feelings grows stronger and stronger. 

This dynamic continues until the climax, in the fourth episode, when the two characters sleep at Togawa’s house after an intense blind date. In the morning, after a really deep conversation about how they felt about each other, Togawa pushes Nozue into a wall and they kiss - and damn, what a kiss! Honestly, this is the best kiss in a Japanese BL since Cherry Magic. Anyway, Togawa declares his love for Nozue, but he thinks it is unreciprocated, so he apologizes. Nozue leaves the house and for the next few weeks, they start to avoid each other. At this point of the series, we have the most crucial moment for Nozue, because the whole conflict was about how he was afraid of changing and taking risks. Looking through his memories, Nozue realizes that trying new things with Togawa made him happy and that if he decided to live passively like he used to, these types of moments would never happen again. He would lose Togawa forever and that would be a heavy price to pay. 

Thankfully, after fighting back against his demons, Nozue finally decides to confess his love for Togawa, giving himself a chance to be happy.

What I liked about this BL is that both characters grow a lot from the first to the last episode, helping each other to become greater versions of themselves. In the end, the two of them had to take a risk and show their vulnerability to reach happiness. I think there is a beautiful message behind all this and it warmed my heart. Another thing that I enjoyed is that Nozue was the one who taught Togawa in the beginning, but couldn’t follow his own advice. Togawa only helped him to do that. Also, I liked how they expressed their feelings and connected through deep conversations. Finally, both actors are obviously beautiful and I’m definitely in love with Takeda Kouhei’s smile. He has such heartwarming expressions, I just can’t deal with them without having butterflies in my stomach (Nico is in love, guys). 

I wished the series had more episodes though, since there were only 5 and each of them had approximately 20 minutes. The final episode was a little bit rushed and the feeling of it didn’t match with the intense climax of the previous one. I can’t believe they didn’t kiss in that last episode, even though there were lots of opportunities for it. So yeah, I also wished they had invested more on physical intimacy. Regardless, Old-Fashioned Cupcake is a very nice BL and a breath of fresh air considering all the productions that came out so far in 2022. If you like these slice-of-life stories and don’t mind lack of physical intimacy, you should definitely give it a try! Also, you might not know it, but it is based on a manga with the same title. I can’t really say if it is worth reading, but if this is the media of your preference and you don’t know what to read next, Old-Fashioned Cupcake seems to be a nice option. I’m going to give the manga a chance as well!

So, that was the review for today. Hope you like it! Bye, bye and until next time!

[cielsosinfel]

I'm on the final/true route of SlowDamage so here are my thoughts, after playing each route months apart. You will notice that my thoughts are mainly lukewarm-to-negative... The LIs in this game were very underwhelming for me :/ Meanwhile, the actual overarching plot is probably the most engaging of any N+C game I've played so far (DMMD and Togainu no Chi, so not much.) So I'm gonna complete it for the plot, and hope the True route LI sparks something in me, but mostly... These characters aren't making me crazy the way Keisuke. Motomi, Koujaku or Clear did......😔

(CW for noncon and incest, as well as spoilers! obviously)

I'm gonna start off with the two side fucks first because they're the ones I have the most positive things to say about lol. Not gonna talk about the plot important non-LI sex scenes though, because I barely remember the details now.

KOUTAROU: Honestly found his sex scene very hot. He has a very fun personality! He's really buddy-buddy with Towa and so casual and flippant about offering to fuck him, and then the way he uses him as like Towa's a mindless hole... I think this works for me because there is 0 emotional attachment in this relationship and no expectation of one developing, so Towa's lack of emotional reaction wasn't something I was annoyed by. The fact Towa is left unconscious and doesn't even get to come </3 It's what he deserves!!

MAYU: This absolutely was not sexy but it was very cute, completely unexpected lol I would honestly go for a full-length Mayu route. Towa needing to come to terms that he has ~feelings~ for a complete nerd who forces cosplay sex on him without any negotiation... Mayu should force him to be his date to Comiket to do OTP cosplay together <3 Also Mayu cuddling up to his body pillow as soon as he comes, leaving Towa sitting there in his bed still in a wig. I love him.

Taku: had really high hopes for the sole DILF but he was just too nice! too caring! too gentle and virginal! ended up really wanting to ship Taku AND Towa with Toono instead.🤪wanting to ship an LI with a side character in a multi-romance-route VN is truly its own hell... And they set up Towa being forced to crossdress and go on a date with Tooono but went nowhere with it?? But with Taku, what they gave us of his past with Toono, all of the blackmail and guilt built into the relationship, REALLY got to me... i would play a game focused on their toxic downward spiral, tbh

Taku's bad end did nothing for me either, I think it veered too far from his established personality without enough build-up. All and all just kind of a disappointment.

Madarame: SEXY... TO A POINT.... Honestly, I've complained about this a lot, but part of my issue with Slow Damage's porn aspects is that Towa is /too/ into everything. They hammer home that he loves to be abused, he gets off on being raped, he barely emotionally reacts to anything around him because he just can't bring himself to /care/. Unless he's being hurt, and then he's horny. But I'm reading N+C BL precisely because I want whumpable pretty boys being violently used and abused while they cry!!! I want that hurt/comfort whump noncon porn!!!!! It doesn't have nearly the same flavor if the protagonist either likes everything because he's the ultimate masochist, or isn't phased by anything happening to him...

So the Madarame route opens with Towa actually being scared, possibly for the first time in the game, and I was like yes! yes! we're getting somewhere!!! This is the kinky whump I expect from an N+C game!

And Madarame's route should be everything I want... There's confinement with a leash and collar by a violent, much bigger yandere top, there's forced humiliating petplay, there's caretaking/bathing kink, there's eye socket penetration... But after Madarame's kidnapped Towa, and both Towa and the reader have gotten comfortable in the new direction the route is taking, Towa stops being afraid and stops caring. And Madarame doesn't exactly have much emotional depth either, as a character. Honestly I can't even really remember how his endings go at this point. I did like the idea of the bad ending, where Towa joins Madarame in taking over the Takasato-gumi together. That felt like it made way more sense for Madarame than the good ending did lol

Ultimately this route ended up with me also wanting to ship Towa with a side character... one we don't even see on screen once... (his brother lol)

Rei: honestly rei's everything pissed me off too much and i will not even bother ranting about it again. not good!

TL;DR I went in wanting Towa to fuck Sakaki and however-many-hours later, I STILL want Towa to fuck Sakaki out of every character. Let the sexy sexy middle-aged crime boss desperately trying to be your father replacement bend you over his desk, Towa!!! Embrace the daddy issues!!!!!!!!!!

[theflagscene]

BL ~ Drama Asks

I wasn’t tagged, I make my own fun ;P

( Totally nabbed from @absolutebl )

1) If you had to watch one drama forever what would it be?

My first instinct is to say one of the series I’ve watched a dozen times already, but they’re all pretty dramatic and emotional and I don’t know if I wanna live through that forever lol. So I’m gonna go with Cherry Blossom After Winter, I really adore this fluffy BL. It’s seriously my comfort series, it too sweet and I could easily watch it forever.

2) If you could change the ending of a drama which one would it be?

Anyone who doesn’t answer HIStory3: Make Our Days Count has either never seen it or has no heart, seriously, that is the top of the list of BL endings that needs to be changed! 😭 Kissable Lips is one I would change the ending of as well, still a better love story than Twilight tho.

3) Name your favorite drama and tell who your favorite character was.

I have two favourite BLs that take number one on my list, Until We Meet Again and Not Me. My favourite characters in UWMA are Dean, Korn and Win. My favourite characters in Not Me are White, Black, Sean, Yok and Gumpa. Yeah, there’s no such thing as one favourite character in my world lol.

4) Name a drama you dropped within the first few episodes ~ we all have at least one!

Check Out, I really really tried to like it but the characters were all just terrible people. Like I get that cheating happens, but when that’s the entire show, it gets a little dull.

5) Name a popular drama you've never watched and why?

SOTUS… I know, I know! This is like the BL that launched Thai BLs into the international market. And to be fair to Singto, he is one hell of an actor, he just has amazing chemistry with whoever he works with. But I’ve heard/read some pretty not good things about Krist concerning homophobic things done during filming, and that kinda soured the show for me. I’m queer and have no issue with actors playing gay for pay, obviously. But when an actor is gay for pay but rude about it, then I have issues. I grew up doing theatre, working both in front of and behind the scenes, I’ve been trained as an actor and I know nothing makes a working environment hell like an acting partner that just does not wanna be there, it makes you have to work twice as hard. Which is why I think Singto’s acting stands out so damn much next to Krist, because he was working his ass off to sell that onscreen romance. Also LBC2: A Chance To Love, again, much like Krist, Mean has had some pretty damming rumours and stories come out about him being homophobic. Also I just really dislike TinCan as a couple lol.

6) Name a drama you regret watching.

TharnType, what even was the god damned mess!? And why in gods name did I watch TharnType 2!? Can we stop MAME from writing gay stories until she’s actually met gay people? Because from the storylines I’m thinking she’s never actually spoken to a gay man in her life 🙄

7) Name a drama you thought you’d never watch but did and did you end up liking it?

Fish Upon The Sky, it looked seriously stupid but I actually ended up liking MorkPi and DueanMeen as well as their actors, I’m actually looking forward to seeing PondPhuwin pair up again in Never Let Me Go and NeoLouis in The Eclipse.

8) Name a pairing you want to see?

I’ve mentioned before in passing about wanting to see Gun pair up with either Mond or Sing, so I’ll pick differently this time. I’d really like to see Saint work with First, I know First is already kinda branded with Toru, what with them being in War of Y together after their episodes of Y Destiny. But I think if Saint wants to stop being cast as the cute lil uke he needs to be paired with someone slighter than him but equally as pretty, which is where First comes in. I’d love to see Saint as a cold tsundere type, softened by a sweet lil character played by First. Plus I think they would both go pretty ham when it came to any romantic scenes, possibly farther than Saint went with Zee.

9) Name a pairing you didn’t think had chemistry?

TinCan, I’ve mentioned them before and I swear it’s not just because I’m not a fan of Mean’s work lol. Seriously, I never found TinCan to have much chemistry at all. Also, I know BrightWin are some of GMMtv’s golden boys buuuutttt SarawatTine were lukewarm at best 🤷

10) Name a pairing you have seen in another drama that you like?

I really liked Na and Ja as a pairing in UWMA, Sorn and Sin were the only couple that didn’t have any awkwardness in their physicality, they existed within each other’s space, orbited around one another as a real couple would. So often in BLs I find couples have trouble with their physicality, both platonic and romantic touching as well as simply inhabiting another’s personal space. You can almost see them acting and that’s one thing you do not want your audience to be able to do, if an audience can feel/see that you’re acting then you’re doing your job wrong. Wise words from a director I once had, harsh words but wise lol. I would love to see them work together again but now that JaFirst have branded together since Don’t Say No, I doubt highly we’ll ever see NaJa work together again, at least not as a couple.

[potteresque-ire]

Can you talk more about the usage of the word "wife" to talk about men in the BL context? I've noticed it in BJYX (particularly with GG), in the (English translations) of MDZS, and then it came up in your recent posts about Danmei-101 (which were super helpful btw) with articles connecting the "little fresh meat" type to fans calling an actor "wife." My initial reaction as a westerner is like "this is very problematic," but I think I'm missing a lot of language/cultural context. Any thoughts?

Hello! First of all, for those who’re interested, here’s a link to the referred posts. Under the cut is arguably the 4th post of the series. As usual, I apologise for the length!

(Topics: seme and uke; more about “leftover women”; roster of feminisation terms; Daji, Bao Si & the origin of BJYX; roster of beautiful, ancient Chinese men; Chairman Mao (not part of the roster) ...)

[TW: feminisation of men]

In the traditional BL characterisation, the M/M (double male) lead pairing is essentially a cis-het relationship in disguise, in which one of the M leads is viewed as the “wife” by the creator and audience. This lead often possesses some of the features of the traditional, stereotypical female, but retaining his male appearance. 

In BL terms, the “wife” is the “uke”. “Seme” and “uke” are the respective roles taken by the two male leads, and designated by the creator of the material. Literally, “seme” (攻め) means the dominant, the attacking / aggressive partner in the relationship and “uke” (受け), the passive / recipient (of actions) partner who tends to follow the seme’s lead. The terms themselves do not have any sexual / gender context.  However, as male and female are viewed as aggressive and passive by their traditional social roles, and the attacker and recipient by their traditional sexual roles respectively, BL fandoms have long assigned uke, the passive, sexual “bottom”, as the “woman”, the “wife”. 

Danmei has kept this “semi” and uke” tradition from BL, taking the kanji of the Japanese terms for designation ~ 攻 (”attack” is therefore the “husband”, and 受 (”receive”), the “wife”. The designations are often specified in the introduction / summary of Danmei works as warning / enticement. For MDZS, for example, MXTX wrote:

高貴冷豔悶騷 攻 × 邪魅狂狷風騷 受

高貴冷豔悶騷 攻 = noble, coolly beautiful and boring seme (referring to LWJ)  邪魅狂狷風騷 受 = devilishly charming, wild, and flirty uke (referring to WWX) 

The traditional, stereotypical female traits given to the “uke”, the “wife” in Danmei and their associated fanworks range from their personality to behaviour to even biological functions. Those who have read the sex scenes in MDZS may be aware of their lack of mention of lube, while WWX was written as getting (very) wet from fluids from his colon (腸道) ~ implying that his colon, much like a vagina, was supplying the necessarily lubrication for sex. This is obviously biologically inaccurate; however, Danmei is exempt from having to be realistic by its original Tanbi definition. The genre’s primary audience is cishet females, and sex scenes such as this one aren’t aiming for realism. Rather, the primary goal of these sex scenes is to generate fantasy, and the purpose of the biologically female functions in one of the leads (WWX) is to ease the readers into imagining themselves as the one engaging in the sex.

Indeed, these practices of assigning as males and female the M/M sexual top and bottom, of emphasising of who is the top and who is the bottom, have been falling out of favour in Western slash fandoms ~ I joined fandom about 15 years ago, and top and bottom designations in slash pairings (and fights about them) were much more common than it is now.  The generally more open, more progressive environments in which Western fandomers are immersed in probably have something to do with it: they transfer their RL knowledge, their views on biology, on different social into their fandom works and discourses. 

I’d venture to say this: in the English-speaking fandoms, fandom values and mainstream values are converging. “Cancel culture” reflects an attempt to enforce RL values in the fictional worlds in fandom. Fandom culture is slowly, but surely, leaving its subculture status and becoming part of mainstream culture. 

I’d hesitate to call c-Danmei fandoms backward compared to Western slash for this reason. There’s little hope for Danmei to converge with China’s mainstream culture in the short term ~ the necessity of replacing Danmei with Dangai in visual media already reflects that. Danmei is and will likely remain subculture in the foreseeable future, and subcultures, at heart, are protests against the mainstream. Unless China and the West define “mainstream” very similarly (and they don’t), it is difficult to compare the “progressiveness”—and its dark side, the “problematic-ness”—of the protests, which are shaped by what they’re protesting against. The “shaper” in this scenario, the mainstream values and culture, are also far more forceful under China’s authoritarian government than they are in the free(-er) world. 

Danmei, therefore, necessarily takes on a different form in China than BL or slash outside China. As a creative pursuit, it serves to fulfil psychological needs that are reflective of its surrounding culture and sociopolitical environment. The genre’s “problematic” / out of place aspects in the eyes of Western fandoms are therefore, like all other aspects of the genre, tailor-made by its millions of fans to be comforting / cathartic for the unique culture and sociopolitical background it and they find themselves in. 

I briefly detoured to talk about the Chinese government’s campaign to pressure young, educated Chinese women into matrimony and motherhood in the post for this reason, as it is an example of how, despite Western fandoms’ progressiveness, they may be inadequate, distant for c-Danmei fans. Again, this article is a short and a ... morbidly-entertaining read on what has been said about China’s “leftover women” (剩女) �� women who are unmarried and over 27-years-old). I talked about it, because “Women should enter marriage and parenthood in their late 20s” may no longer a mainstream value in many Western societies, but where it still is, it exerts a strong influence on how women view romance, and by extension, how they interact with romantic fiction, including Danmei.

In China, this influence is made even stronger by the fact that Chinese tradition  places a strong emphasis on education and holds a conservative attitude towards romance and sex. Dating while studying therefore remains discouraged in many Chinese families. University-educated Chinese women therefore have an extremely short time frame — between graduation (~23 years old) and their 27th birthday — to find “the right one” and get married, before they are labelled as “leftovers” and deemed undesirable. (Saving) face being an important aspect in Chinese culture introduces yet another layer of pressure: traditionally, women who don’t get married by the age agreed by social norms have been viewed as failures of upbringing, in that the unmarried women’s parents not having taught/trained their daughters well. Filial, unmarried women therefore try to get married “on time” just to avoid bringing shame to their family.

The outcome is this: despite the strong women characters we may see in Chinese visual media, many young Chinese women nowadays do not expect themselves to be able to marry for love. Below, I offer a “book jacket summary” of a popular internet novel in China, which shows how the associated despair also affects cis-het fictional romance. Book reviews praise this novel for being “boring”: the man and woman leads are both common working class people, the “you-and-I”’s; the mundaneness of them trying build their careers and their love life is lit by one shining light: he loves her and she loves him. 

Written in her POV, this summary reflects, perhaps, the disquiet felt by many contemporary Chinese women university graduates:

曾經以為，自己這輩子都等不到了—— 世界這麼大，我又走得這麼慢，要是遇不到良人要怎麼辦？早過了「全球三十幾億男人，中國七億男人，天涯何處無芳草」的猖狂歲月，越來越清楚，循規蹈矩的生活中，我們能熟悉進而深交的異性實在太有限了，有限到我都做好了「接受他人的牽線，找個適合的男人慢慢煨熟，再平淡無奇地進入婚姻」的準備，卻在生命意外的拐彎處迎來自己的另一半。

I once thought, my wait will never come to fruition for the rest of my life — the world is so big, I’m so slow in treading it, what if I’ll never meet the one? I’ve long passed the wild days of thinking “3 billion men exist on Earth, 0.7 of which are Chinese. There is plenty more fish in the sea.” I’m seeing, with increasing clarity, that in our disciplined lives, the number of opposite-sex we can get to know, and get to know well, is so limited. It’s so limited that I’m prepared to accept someone’s matchmaking, find a suitable man and slowly, slowly, warm up to him, and then, to enter marriage with without excitement, without wonder. But then, an accidental turn in my life welcomes in my other half.

— Oath of Love (餘生，請多指教) (Yes, this is the novel Gg’d upcoming drama is based on.) 

Heteronormativity is, of course, very real in China. However, that hasn’t exempted Chinese women, even its large cis-het population, from having their freedom to pursue their true love taken away from them. Even for cis-het relationships, being able to marry for love has become a fantasy —a fantasy scorned by the state. Remember this quote from Article O3 in the original post? 

耽改故事大多远离现实，有些年轻受众却将其与生活混为一谈，产生不以结婚和繁衍为目的才是真爱之类的偏颇认知。

Most Dangai stories are far removed from reality; some young audience nonetheless mix them up with real life, develop biased understanding such as “only love that doesn’t treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations is true love”. 

I didn’t focus on it in the previous posts, in an effort to keep the discussion on topic. But why did the op-ed piece pick this as an example of fantasy-that-shouldn’t-be-mixed-up-with-real-life, in the middle of a discussion about perceived femininity of men that actually has little to do with matrimony and reproduction? 

Because the whole point behind the state’s “leftover women” campaign is precisely to get women to treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations, not beautiful sceneries that happen along the way. And they’re the state’s destination as more children = higher birth rate that leads to higher future productivity. The article is therefore calling out Danmei for challenging this “mainstream value”.

Therefore, while the statement True love doesn’t treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations may be trite for many of us while it may be a point few, if any, English-speaking fandoms may pay attention to, to the mainstream culture Danmei lives in, to the mainstream values dictated by the state, it is borderline subversive.

As much as Danmei may appear “tame” for its emphasis on beauty and romance, for it to have stood for so long, so firmly against China’s (very) forceful mainstream culture, the genre is also fundamentally rebellious.  Remember: Danmei has little hope of converging with China’s mainstream unless it “sells its soul” and removes its homoerotic elements. 

With rebelliousness, too, comes a bit of tongue-in-cheek.

And so, when c-Danmei fans, most of whom being cishet women who interact with the genre by its traditional BL definition, call one of the leads 老婆 (wife), it can and often take on a different flavour. As said before, it can be less about feminizing the lead than about identifying with the lead. The nickname 老婆 (wife) can be less about being disrespectful and more about humorously expressing an aspiration—the aspiration to have a husband who truly loves them, who they do want to get married and have babies with but out of freedom and not obligation.

Admittedly, I had been confused, and bothered by these “can-be”s myself. Just because there are alternate reasons for the feminisation to happen doesn’t mean the feminisation itself is excusable. But why the feminisation of M/M leads doesn’t sound as awful to me in Chinese as in English? How can calling a self-identified man 老婆 (wife) get away with not sounding being predominantly disrespectful to my ears, when I would’ve frowned at the same thing said in my vicinity in English?

I had an old hypothesis: when I was little, it was common to hear people calling acquaintances in Chinese by their unflattering traits:  “Deaf-Eared Chan” (Mr Chan, who’s deaf), “Fat Old Woman Lan” (Ah-Lan, who’s an overweight woman) etc—and the acquaintances were perfectly at ease with such identifications, even introducing themselves to strangers that way. Comparatively speaking then, 老婆 (wife) is harmless, even endearing. 

老婆, which literally means “old old-lady” (implying wife = the woman one gets old with), first became popularised as a colloquial, casual way of calling “wife” in Hong Kong and its Cantonese dialect, despite the term itself being about 1,500 years old. As older generations of Chinese were usually very shy about talking about their love lives, those who couldn’t help themselves and regularly spoke of their 老婆 tended to be those who loved their wives in my memory. 老婆, as a term, probably became endearing to me that way. 

Maybe this is why the feminisation of M/M leads didn’t sound so bad to me?

This hypothesis was inadequate, however. This custom of identifying people by their (unflattering) traits has been diminishing in Hong Kong and China, for similar reasons it has been considered inappropriate in the West.

Also, 老婆 (wife) is not the only term used for / associated with feminisation. I’ve tried to limit the discussion to Danmei, the fictional genre; now, I’ll jump to its associated RPS genre, and specifically, the YiZhan fandoms. The purpose of this jump: with real people involved, feminisation’s effect is potentially more harmful, more acute. Easier to feel. 

YiZhan fans predominantly entered the fandoms through The Untamed, and they’ve also transferred Danmei’s  “seme”/“uke” customs into YiZhan. There are, therefore, three c-YiZhan fandoms:

博君一肖 (BJYX): seme Dd, uke Gg 戰山為王 (ZSWW): seme Gg, uke Dd 連瑣反應 (LSFY): riba Gg and Dd. Riba = “reversible”, and unlike “seme” and “uke”, is a frequently-used term in the Japanese gay community. 

BJYX is by far the largest of the three, likely due to Gg having played WWX, the “uke” in MDZS / TU. I’ll therefore focus on this fandom, ie. Gg is the “uke”, the “wife”.

For Gg alone, I’ve seen him being also referred to by YiZhan fans as (and this is far from a complete list):

* 姐姐 (sister) * 嫂子 (wife of elder brother; Dd being the elder brother implied) * 妃妃 (based on the very first YiZhan CP name, 太妃糖 Toffee Candy, a portmanteau of sorts from Dd being the 太子 “prince” of his management company and Gg being the prince’s wife, 太子妃. 糖 = “candy”. 太妃 sounds like toffee in English and has been used as the latter’s Chinese translation.) * 美人 (beauty, as in 肖美人 “Beauty Xiao”) * Daji 妲己 (as in 肖妲己, “Daji Xiao”). 

The last one needs historical context, which will also become important for explaining the new hypothesis I have.

Daji was a consort who lived three thousand years ago, whose beauty was blamed for the fall of the Shang dynasty. Gg (and men sharing similar traits, who are exceptionally rare) has been compared to Daji 妲己 for his alternatively innocent, alternatively seductive beauty ~ the kind of beauty that, in Chinese historical texts and folk lores, lead to the fall of kingdoms when possessed by the king’s beloved woman. This kind of “I-get-to-ruin-her-virginity”, “she’s a slut in MY bedroom” beauty is, of course, a stereotypical fantasy for many (cis-het) men, which included the authors of these historical texts and folklores. However, it also contained some truth: the purity / innocence, the image of a virgin, was required for an ancient woman to be chosen as a consort; the seduction, meanwhile, helped her to become the top consort, and monopolise the attention of kings and emperors who often had hundreds of wives ~ wives who often put each other in danger to eliminate competition. 

Nowadays, women of tremendous beauty are still referred to by the Chinese idiom 傾國傾城, literally, ”falling countries, falling cities”. The beauty is also implied to be natural, expressed in a can’t-help-itself way, perhaps reflecting the fact that the ancient beauties on which this idiom has been used couldn’t possibly have plastic surgeries, and most of them didn’t meet a good end ~ that they had to pay a price for their beauty, and often, with their lowly status as women, as consorts, they didn’t get to choose whether they wanted to pay this price or not. This adjective is considered to be very flattering. Gg’s famous smile from the Thailand Fanmeet has been described, praised as 傾城一笑: “a smile that topples a city”.

I’m explaining Daji and 傾國傾城 because the Chinese idiom 博君一笑 “doing anything to get a smile from you”, from which the ship’s name BJYX 博君一肖  was derived (笑 and 肖 are both pronounced “xiao”), is connected to yet another of such dynasty-falling beauty, Bao Si 褒姒. Like Daji before her, Bao Si was blamed for the end of the Zhou Dynasty in 771 BC. 

The legend went like this: Bao Si was melancholic, and to get her to smile, her king lit warning beacons and got his nobles to rush in from the nearby vassal states with their armies to come and rescue him, despite not being in actual danger. The nobles, in their haste, looked so frantic and dishevelled that Bao Si found it funny and smiled. Longing to see more of the smile of his favourite woman, the king would fool his nobles again and again, until his nobles no longer heeded the warning beacons when an actual rebellion came. 

What the king did has been described as 博紅顏一笑, with 紅顏 (”red/flushed face”) meaning a beautiful woman, referring to Bao Si. Replace 紅顏 with the respectful “you”, 君, we get 博君一笑. If one searches the origin of the phrase 博 [fill_in_the_blank]一笑 online, Bao Si’s story shows up.

The “anything” in ”doing anything to get a smile from you” in 博君一笑, therefore, is not any favour, but something as momentous as giving away one’s own kingdom. c-turtles have remarked, to their amusement and admittedly mine, that “king”, in Chinese, is written as 王, which is Dd’s surname, and very occasionally, they jokingly compare him to the hopeless kings who’d give away everything for their love. Much like 傾國傾城 has become a flattering idiom despite the negative reputations of Daji and Bao Si for their “men-ruining ways”, 博君一笑 has become a flattering phrase, emphasising on the devotion and love rather than the ... stupidity behind the smile-inducing acts. 

(Bao Si’s story, BTW, was a lie made up by historians who also lived later but also thousands of years ago, to absolve the uselessness of the king. Warning beacons didn’t exist at her time.)  

Gg is arguably feminized even in his CP’s name. Gg’s feminisation is everywhere. 

And here comes my confession time ~ I’ve been amused by most of the feminisation terms above. 肖妲己 (”Daji Xiao”) captures my imagination, and I remain quite partial to the CP name BJYX. Somehow, there’s something ... somewhat forgivable when the feminisation is based on Gg’s beauty, especially in the context of the historical Danmei / Dangai setting of MDZS/TU ~ something that, while doesn’t cancel, dampens the “problematic-ness” of the gender mis-identification.

What, exactly, is this something?

Here’s my new hypothesis, and hopefully I’ll manage to explain it well ~

The hypothesis is this: the unisex beauty standard for historical Chinese men and women, which is also breathtakingly similar to the modern beauty standard for Chinese women, makes feminisation in the context of Danmei (especially historical Danmei) flattering, and easier to accept.

What defined beauty in historical Chinese men? If I am to create a classically beautiful Chinese man for my new historical Danmei, how would I describe him based on what I’ve read, my cultural knowledge?

Here’s a list:

* Skin fair and smooth as white jade * Thin, even frail; narrow/slanted shoulders; tall * Dark irises and bright, starry eyes * Not too dense, neat eyebrows that are shaped like swords ~ pointed slightly upwards from the center towards the sides of the face * Depending on the dynasty, nice makeup.

Imagine these traits. How “macho” are they? How much do they fit the ideal Chinese masculine beauty advertised by Chinese government, which looks like below?

Propaganda poster, 1969. The caption says “Defeat Imperialist US! Defeat Social Imperialism!” The book’s name is “Quotations from Mao Zedong”. (Source)

Where did that list of traits I’ve written com from? Fair like jade, frail ... why are they so far from the ... “macho”ness of the men in the poster? 

What has Chinese history said about its beautiful men? 

Wei Jie (衛玠 286-312 BCE), one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men (古代四大美男) recorded in Chinese history famously passed away when fans of his beauty gathered and formed a wall around him, blocking his way. History recorded Wei as being frail with chronic illness, and was only 27 years old when he died. Arguably the first historical account of “crazy fans killing their idol”, this incident left the idiom 看殺衛玠 ~ “Wei Jie being watched to death.” ~ a not very “macho” way to die at all.

潘安 (Pan An; 247-300 BCE), another one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men, also had hoards of fangirls, who threw fruits and flowers at him whenever he ventured outside. The Chinese idiom 擲果盈車 “thrown fruit filling a cart” was based on Pan and ... his fandom, and denotes such scenarios of men being so beautiful that women openly displayed their affections for them. 

Meanwhile, when Pan went out with his equally beautiful male friend, 夏侯湛 Xiahou Zhan, folks around them called them 連璧 ~ two connected pieces of perfect jade. Chinese Jade is white, smooth, faintly glowing in light, so delicate that it gives the impression of being somewhat transparent.

Aren’t Wei Jie and Pan An reminiscent of modern day Chinese idols, the “effeminate” “Little Fresh Meat”s (小鲜肉) so panned by Article O3? Their stories, BTW, also elucidated the historical reference in LWJ’s description of being jade-like in MDZS, and in WWX and LWJ being thrown pippas along the Gusu river bank. 

Danmei, therefore, didn’t create a trend of androgynous beauty in men as much as it has borrowed the ancient, traditional definition of masculine Chinese beauty ~ the beauty that was more feminine than masculine by modern standards.  

[Perhaps, CPs should be renamed 連璧 (”two connected pieces of perfect jade”) as a reminder of the aesthetics’ historical roots.]

Someone may exclaim now: But. But!! Yet another one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men, 高長恭 (Gao Changgong, 541-573 BCE), far better known by his title, 蘭陵王 (”the Prince of Lanling”), was a famous general. He had to be “macho”, right?

... As it turns out, not at all. Historical texts have described Gao as “貌柔心壮，音容兼美” (”soft in looks and strong at heart, beautiful face and voice”), “白美類婦人” (”fair and beautiful as a woman”), “貌若婦人” (”face like a woman”). Legends have it that The Prince of Lanling’s beauty was so soft, so lacking in authority that he had to wear a savage mask to get his soldiers to listen to his command (and win) on the battlefield (《樂府雜錄》: 以其顏貌無威，每入陣即著面具，後乃百戰百勝).

This should be emphasised: Gao’s explicitly feminine descriptions were recorded in historical texts as arguments *for* his beauty. Authors of these texts, therefore, didn’t view the feminisation as insult. In fact, they used the feminisation to drive the point home, to convince their readers that men like the Prince of Lanling were truly, absolutely good looking.

Being beautiful like a women was therefore high praise for men in, at least, significant periods in Chinese history ~ periods long and important enough for these records to survive until today. Beauty, and so it goes, had once been largely free of distinctions between the masculine and feminine.

One more example of an image of an ancient Chinese male beauty being similar to its female counterpart, because the history nerd in me finds this fun. 

何晏 (He Yan, ?-249 BCE) lived in the Wei Jin era (between 2nd to 4th century), during which makeup was really en vogue. Known for his beauty, he was also famous for his love of grooming himself. The emperor, convinced that He Yan’s very fair skin was from the powder he was wearing, gave He Yan some very hot foods to eat in the middle of the summer. He Yan began to sweat, had to wipe himself with his sleeves and in the process, revealed to the emperor that his fair beauty was 100% natural ~ his skin glowed even more with the cosmetics removed (《世說新語·容止第十四》: 何平叔美姿儀，面至白。魏明帝疑其傅粉，正夏月，與熱湯餅。既啖，大汗出，以朱衣自拭，色轉皎然). His kick-cosmetics’-ass fairness won him the nickname 傅粉何郎 (”powder-wearing Mr He”).

Not only would He Yan very likely be mistaken as a woman if this scene is transferred to a modern setting, but this scene can very well fit inside a Danmei story of the 21st century and is very, very likely to get axed by the Chinese censorship board for its visualisation. 

[Important observation from this anecdote: the emperor was totally into this trend too.]

The adjectives and phrases used above to describe these beautiful ancient Chinese men ~ 貌柔, 音容兼美, 白美, 美姿儀, 皎然 ~ have all become pretty much reserved for describing beauty in women nowadays. Beauty standards in ancient China were, as mentioned before, had gone through significantly long periods in which they were largely genderless. The character for beauty 美 (also in Danmei, 耽美) used to have little to no gender association. Free of gender associations as well were the names of many flowers. The characters for orchid (蘭) and lotus (蓮), for example, were commonly found in men’s names as late as the Republican era (early 20th century), but are now almost exclusively found in women’s names. Both orchid and lotus have historically been used to indicate 君子 (junzi, roughly, “gentlemen”), which have always been men. MDZS also has an example of a man named after a flower: Jin Ling’s courtesy name, given to him by WWX,  was 如蘭 (”like an orchid”). 

A related question may be this: why does ancient China associate beauty with fairness, with softness, with frailty? Likely, because Confucianist philosophy and customs put a heavy emphasis on scholarship ~ and scholars have mostly consisted of soft-spoken, not muscular, not working-under-the-sun type of men. More importantly, Confucianist scholars also occupied powerful government positions. Being, and looking like a Confucianist scholar was therefore associated with status. Indeed, it’s very difficult to look like jade when one was a farmer or a soldier, for example, who constantly had to toil under the sun, whose skin was constantly being dried and roughened by the elements. Having what are viewed as “macho” beauty traits as in the poster above ~ tanned skin, bulging muscles, bony structures (which also take away the jade’s smoothness) ~ were associated with hard labour, poverty and famine.

Along that line, 手無縛雞之力 (“hands without the strength to restrain a chicken”) has long been a phrase used to describe ancient scholars and students, and without scorn or derision. Love stories of old, which often centred around scholars were, accordingly, largely devoid of the plot lines of husbands physically protecting the wives, performing the equivalent of climbing up castle walls and fighting dragons etc. Instead, the faithful husbands wrote poems, combed their wife’s hair, traced their wife’s eyebrows with cosmetics (畫眉)...all activities that didn’t require much physical strength, and many of which are considered “feminine” nowadays.

Were there periods in Chinese history in which more ... sporty men and women were appreciated? Yes. the Tang dynasty, for example, and the Yuan and Qing dynasties. The Tang dynasty, as a very powerful, very open era in Chinese history, was known for its relations to the West (via the Silk Road). The Yuan and Qing dynasties, meanwhile, were established by Mongolians and Manchus respectively, who, as non-Han people, had not been under the influence of Confucian culture and grew up on horsebacks, rather than in schools.

The idea that beautiful Chinese men should have “macho” attributes was, therefore, largely a consequence of non-Han-Chinese influence, especially after early 20th century. That was when the characters for beauty (美), orchid (蘭), lotus (蓮) etc began their ... feminisation. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP), which started its reign of the country starting 1949, also has foreign roots, being a derivative of the Soviets, and its portrayal of ideal men has been based on the party’s ideology, painting them as members of the People’s Liberation Army (Chinese army) and its two major proletariat classes, farmers and industrial workers ~ all occupations that are “macho” in their aesthetics, but held at very poor esteem in ancient Chinese societies. All occupations that, to this day, may be hailed as noble by Chinese women, but not really deemed attractive by them.

Beauty, being an instinct, is perhaps much more resistant to propaganda.

If anything, the three terms Article O3 used to describe “effeminate” men ~ 奶油小生 “cream young men” (popularised in 1980s) , 花美男 “flowery beautiful men” (early 2000s), 小鲜肉 “little fresh meat” (coined in 2014 and still popular now) ~ only informs me how incredibly consistent the modern Chinese women’s view of ideal male beauty has been. It’s the same beauty the Chinese Communist Party has called feminine. It’s the same beauty found in Danmei. It’s the same beauty that, when witnessed in men in ancient China, was so revered that historians recorded it for their descendants to remember. It doesn’t mean there aren’t any women who appreciate the "macho” type ~ it’s just that, the appreciation for the non-macho type has never really gone out of fashion, never really changed. The only thing that is really changing is the name of the type, the name’s positive or negative connotations.

(Personally, I’m far more uncomfortable with the name “Little fresh meat” (小鲜肉) than 老婆 (wife). I find it much more insulting.)

Anyway, what I’d like to say is this: feminisation in Danmei ~ a genre that, by definition, is hyper-focused on aesthetics ~ may not be as "problematic” in Chinese as it is in English, because the Chinese tradition didn’t make that much of a differentiation between masculine and feminine beauty. Once again, this isn’t to say such mis-gendering isn’t disrespectful; it’s just that, perhaps, it is less disrespectful because Chinese still retains a cultural memory in which equating a beautiful man to a beautiful woman was the utmost flattery. 

I must put a disclaimer here: I cannot vouch for this being true for the general Chinese population. This is something that is buried deep enough inside me that it took a lot of thought for me to tease out, to articulate. More importantly, while I grow up in a Chinese-speaking environment, I’ve never lived inside China. My history knowledge, while isn’t shabby, hasn’t been filtered through the state education system.

I’d also like to point out as well, along this line of thought, that in *certain* (definitely not all) aspects, Chinese society isn’t as sexist as the West. While historically, China has periods of extreme sexism against women, with the final dynasties of Ming and Qing being examples, I must (reluctantly) acknowledge Chairman Mao for significantly lifting the status of women during his rule. Here’s a famous quote of his from 1955:

婦女能頂半邊天 Women can lift half the skies

The first marriage code, passed in 1950, outlawed forced marriages, polygamy, and ensured equal rights between husband and wife.  For the first time in centuries, women were encouraged to go outside of their homes and work. Men resisted at first, wanting to keep their wives at home; women who did work were judged poorly for their performance and given less than 50% of men’s wage, which further fuelled the men’s resistance. Mao said the above quote after a commune in Guizhou introduced the “same-work-same-wage” system to increase its productivity, and he asked for the same system to to be replicated across the country. (Source)

When Chairman Mao wanted something, it happened. Today, Chinese women’s contribution to the country’s GDP remains among the highest in the world.  They make up more than half of the country’s top-scoring students. They’re the dominant gender in universities, in the ranks of local employees of international corporations in the Shanghai and Beijing central business districts—among the most sought after jobs in the country. While the inequality between men and women in the workplace is no where near wiped out — stories about women having to sleep with higher-ups to climb the career ladder, or even get their PhDs are not unheard of, and the central rulership of the Chinese Communist Party has been famously short of women — the leap in women’s rights has been significant over the past century, perhaps because of how little rights there had been before ~ at the start of the 20th century, most Chinese women from relatively well-to-do families still practised foot-binding, in which their feet were literally crushed during childhood in the name of beauty, of status symbol. They couldn’t even walk properly.

Perhaps, the contemporary Chinese women’s economic contribution makes the sexism they encounter in their lives, from the lack of reproductive rights to the “leftover women” label, even harder to swallow. It makes their fantasies fly to even higher, more defiant heights. The popularity of Dangai right now is pretty much driven by women, as acknowledged by Article O3. Young women, especially, female fans who people have dismissed as “immature”, “crazy”, are responsible for the threat the Chinese government is feeling now by the genre.

This is no small feat. While the Chinese government complains about the “effeminate” men from Danmei / Dangai, its propaganda has been heavily reliant on stars who have risen to popularity to these genres. The film Dd is currently shooting, Chinese Peacekeeping Force (維和部隊), also stars Huang Jingyu (黄景瑜), and Zhang Zhehan (張哲瀚) ~ the three actors having shot to fame from The Untamed (Dangai), Addicted (Danmei), and Word of Honour (Dangai) respectively.  Zhang, in particular, played the “uke” role in Word of Honour and has also been called 老婆 (wife) by his fans. The quote in Article O3, “Ten years as a tough man known by none; one day as a beauty known by all” was also implicitly referring to him.

Perhaps, the government will eventually realise that millennia-old standards of beauty are difficult to bend, and by extension, what is considered appropriate gender expression of Chinese men and women. 

In the metas I’ve posted, therefore, I’ve hesitated in using terms such as homophobia, sexism, and ageism etc, opting instead to make long-winded explanations that essentially amount to these terms (thank you everyone who’s reading for your patience!). Because while the consequence is similar—certain fraction of the populations are subjected to systemic discrimination, abuse, given less rights, treated as inferior etc—these words, in English, also come with their own context, their own assumptions that may not apply to the situation. It reminds me of what Leo Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina,

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Discrimination in each country, each culture is humiliating, unhappy in its own way. Both sexism and homophobia are rampant in China, but as their roots are different from those of the West, the ways they manifest are different, and so must the paths to their dissolution. I’ve also hesitated on calling out individual behaviours or confronting individuals for this reason. i-Danmei fandoms are where i-fans and c-fans meet, where English-speaking doesn’t guarantee a non-Chinese sociopolitical background (there may be students from China, for example; I’m also ... not entirely Western), and I find it difficult to articulate appropriate, convincing arguments without knowing individual backgrounds.

Frankly, I’m not sure if I’ve done the right thing. Because I do hope feminisation will soon fade into extinction, especially in i-Danmei fandoms that, if they continue to prosper on international platforms, may eventually split from c-Danmei fandoms along the cultural (not language) line due to the vast differences in environmental constraints. My hope is especially true when real people are involved, and c-fandoms, I’d like to note, are not unaware of the issues surrounding feminisation ~ it has already been explicitly forbidden in BJYX’s supertopic on Weibo. 

At the same time, I’ve spent so many words above to try to explain why beauty can *sometimes* lurk behind such feminisations. Please allow me to end this post with one example of feminisation that I deeply dislike—and I’ve seen it used by fans on Gg as well—is 綠茶 (”green tea”), from 綠茶婊 (”green tea whore”) that means women who look pure / innocent but are, deep down, promiscuous / lustful. In some ways, its meaning isn’t so different from Daji 妲己, the consort blamed for the fall of the Shang dynasty. However, to me at least, the flattery in the feminisation is gone, perhaps because of the character “whore” (婊), because the term originated in 2013 from a notorious sex party rather than from a legendary beauty so maligned that The Investiture of the Gods (封神演義), the seminal Chinese fiction written ~2,600 years after Daji’s death, re-imagined her as a malevolent fox spirit (狐狸精) that many still remembers her as today.

Ah, to be caught between two cultures. :)

[energon-with-a-curly-straw]

Energon’s Watchlist: Time for School (Me & the Boys)

Here’s three anime series about friend groups where friendships take precedence over romance! Also, you learn a little too much about my mental state. I’m sorry. The following series are not harem, are not based around and have minimal to no romance, and have been personally watched and enjoyed by me. See also: Haven’t You Heard? I’m Sakamoto; A Destructive God Sits Next to Me; Daily Lives of High School Boys.

Cute High Earth Defence Club LOVE! (Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu LOVE!, 37 episodes total)

The Earth Defence Club was just a joke… until it wasn’t. A magic girl anime at an all-boy school, one day a pink wombat falls into a bathhouse and leads five (slightly less than willing) boys to become Princes of Love to defend the earth from evil and maybe these three suspicious student council members. Yes, the frilly outfits are absolutely necessary.

A parody that lightheartedly pokes fun at the magic girl genre. Each episode follows a familiar pattern, with a different big bad every season. The characters spend a lot of time in a bathhouse, which isn’t really relevant to whether or not you should watch it, but I found it culturally interesting. The series exists in the vague realm of heavily-implied-but-not-explicitly-stated bl. There’s even an episode that riffs on the toothbrush-hot spring scene of the iconic bl Gakuen Heaven which nearly killed me. Like almost all bl anime before very (very) recently, it’s up to viewer interpretation. The last season (HAPPY KISS!) has all different characters, but is comfortably the same while being just different enough to keep your interest. Had some major gender envy towards Kyotaro, who’s basically my ideal self. I think my younger self would have especially loved it and it’s definitely a favourite of mine! Worth watching whether you’re a magic girl expert or novice!

You and Me (Kimi to Boku, 13 eps + You and Me 2: 13eps)

A slice of life comedy about four (soon five) friends who’ve known each other since childhood. The series is mostly episodic, and tells stories of their daily lives, as well as flashbacks of the past— although there are less flashback stories after the first part. The characters are dynamic while being realistic, are humorous and frankly a bit salty. You and Me is similar to Natsume Yujin-cho in its warm and gentle vibe— like being wrapped in a warm blanket. It has an edge of melancholy comfort. The boys also brush Shun’s long hair a few times— which is a tiny detail but I really liked it. Their friendship is clearly deep, even if they often pretend it isn’t.

Sanrio Boys (Sanrio Danshi, 13 eps)

This show is a metaphor for being gay. If you watch it, you’ll think: ‘well clearly they’re reading too much into it— this is obviously an advertisement for Sanrio merchandise with some plot thrown in’ but then you’ll be like: ‘oh. This is actually pretty heavy handed’. The series is about a group of high school boys becoming friends over their shared love of Sanrio. But first they have to overcome themselves— usually some sort of personal barrier or trauma or whatever.

Anyways, this series gave me a gender-related emotional breakdown because I’m fundamentally not happy with my life as it is now. This was one of the first shows I started watching this year, but I haven’t finished it because they’re planning for a play and it was too stressful for me to watch, despite knowing that it turns out fine as it’s literally the first scene in the series. I can’t even remember if this anime was particularly good, I just want someone to watch it and tell me I’m right— that I’m not out of my mind here! If you have have an emotional, life-changing epiphany that’s not my problem and you’re welcome.

[absolutebl]

Hi absoluteBL,

I read your Review of utsukushii kare and saw that you love it just as much as I do :D

In the beginning I thought that Hira was the Uke in this show and that he was punished by the narrative for pursuing the seme (just like Intouch in uwma).

While watching the ending of the show, it became clear that Hira totally fit the Seme type, and Kiyoi was just a big tsundere Uke. This made me wonder why I thought all this time that Hira was the Uke. And I guess one big point is, that the seme is often portrayed as the cooler and more handsome part of the couple. Because the Uke often represents the "female part" in a BL - which is dumb because there's obviously no female part in a m/m relationship but you now how the writers/producers like to push their heteronormative thinking on these shows- they aren't seen as important in the show and don't need to be as beautiful as the seme. At least that's the feeling I get from some shows.

Now to my actual questions:

How you did you see Hira. Did you know that Hira will end up being the seme? Do you have a show, where you were surprised to find out that the Uke is actually the Seme or vice versa?

Sorry for the long ask! 😅

All asks are good asks. No apologies needed!

Did you know that Hira will end up being the seme?

I did see Hira as the seme from the start, but then I am used to whipping boy (attack dog) + spoiled prince narratives. The moment Hira goes crazy and beats up the other kid because of what is done to Kiyoi, his role is confirmed. That’s because it's more common in a bodyguard context like Golden Blood or Where Your Eyes Linger. But Japan and China (in particular) and fanfic/fandom love a quiet, shy, reserved character who is only really driven into fight/rage/extreme emotion by threat to their beloved. It’s a very popular narrative framework for characterization. You’ll see this deployed with the clumsy uke getting hurt or sick. (The baby is a clumsy bunny trope.) Or the protect baby from bullies thing used in a lot of het romances. 

The fact that My Beautiful Man also makes Kiyoi possessive and protective is very clever. But also a classic spoiled prince role. 

“He’s a monster, but he’s my monster.” does also go into, “That means only I can activate him.” Especially when we have an indentured ego/identity as whipping boy often entitles. 

In other words, because Hira will never act to protect himself, only to protect Kiyoi, it is up to Kiyoi to make sure no one else but Kiyoi can take advantage of him. And Kiyoi does. 

In fact I was more surprised when people thought Hira wasn't the seme. But then spoiled princes (and brats) are one of my favorite archetypes, so I am kinda trained for this one. Japan used this one with their ninja yaoi a lot, the idea on fixed loyalty from powerful warriors. 

Do you have a show, where you were surprised to find out that the Uke is actually the Seme or vice versa?

I don't think so? Maybe, one of my trash watches? So like the show itself wasn’t clear on its narrative. Like Gen Y. 

Generally it's more I'm surprised when they go for verse/switch or no seme/uke dynamic. So at first the Taiwanese stuff used to confuse me, now I'm more surprised when they do execute a strong seme/uke since for them that's the exception rather than the rule. And I think that has to do with their preference for physically matched muscled co-stars, and their more gay/queer lens given the social structure in Taiwan.

Thailand still shocks me. Like Bad Buddy, or right now Vice Versa which I *think* is going to avoid/play with the dynamic.

I'm sure there were some out there that surprised me, maybe Japan? Mr Cinderella definitely, but that was more I didn't think Bah Vinh would allow even a hint that he might be an uke.

But these days I kinda am rolling with the different country’s styles and that guides my expectations into more predictable standards. Which is great for me, since I garner much comfort in the predictable. Just not TOOO predictable. If that makes sense.

[negrowhat]

30 Day BL Challenge

Day 22: Show That Surprised You

We Best Love: No. 1 For You

I was fully planning to skip this series. I was seeing gifs circulating that still didn’t quite grab my attention. I was like “ooh great ANOTHER college BL.” but then I saw gifs of DeYi’s kiss on the bridge and was like.........OKAY LET ME CHECK IT OUT! I wasn’t expecting to fall in love. I promise. But Shu Yi’s clueless nature mixed with Shi De’s “I’M ONE-UPPING YOU FOR YOU TO NOTICE ME SENPAI” agenda was perfection. I literally binged the series on the day the last ep came out.

Be Loved in House: I Do

I was reading the synopsis for the series like, “WTF kind of plot is this??” This was another series that grabbed my attention after seeing gifs of the very last ep. Imagine my surprise when this series turned out to be one big ass therapeutic cuddle fest. I can’t thank Shi Lei’s mama enough for staying that solid month lol. Surprising BLIH has turned out to be a comfort series like Ingredients.

You Make Me Dance

Again, just another series I was planning to completely overlook. I had heard literally nothing about it other than the fact that it was airing alongside WBL and ATOTS. But I thought the pairing of a loan shark and broke dancer boy was quite refreshing. Love that they played house and Jin Hong Seok helped Song Si On reach a goal he’d been working his ass off for. ALSO HELLO? LONELY SAD BOYS FINDING EACH OTHER THROUGH AN UNPAID DEBT! SIGN ME UP! And eggs are gay now.

To My Star

TMS had already been out a solid 3 months before I decided to watch it. IDK why, I saw hella people gushing about it. For one, I didn’t understand the plot. But obviously I seem to have a love-hate thing for forced roommates lol. I found Ji Woo’s character relatable in hating to have his normal routine disrupted, but I also found Seo Joon nothing short of charming. I loved how shockingly honest Seo Joon was and how he took his time to learn about Ji Woo. I cry.

Guardian, The Untamed, and Word of Honor

I’m lumping the BIG 3 together because I put off watching them for the same reason. The number of eps and the lack of affection (or so I thought). I thought these series were not going to feel like romances. I was wrong. Very wrong. These series felt every bit like romances. You could feel the affection between the mains. Also The Untamed and Word of Honor had some of the prettiest costuming and locations ever. AND HELLO? SOULMATES X 3!

[bao3bei4]

thanks for clearing up the translation thing with mxtx, I see now that I agree with her stance on non-romantic yet intriguing dynamics. but asking this in good faith (you don't have to answer if you feel like I'm starting a fight): what do you think of the hostility that comes from the more serious issues in her books, like the questionable 'main couple meets when one of them was a child', the lack of consent etc? as a poc myself I find it hard to sympathize with all that.

so this is an interesting question, and something that i tried to allude to in that essay. i think there are legitimate criticisms of mxtx. i’ve (obviously) been able to make my peace with them, since i (unfortunately) post so gd much about these posts, but uh. i don’t blame other people if they don’t or can’t.

cw for discussions of fictional sexual violence and exploitation, scum villain’s self-saving system spoilers

scum villain gets most criticism for its premise, which uh. makes sense. it’s about an online hater bro-type who ends up transmigrating into the character he hated most, and has to try to survive the protagonist’s wrath in a shitty trope-y gary stu-esque wish fulfillment harem novel.

so the elephant in the room is that ofc, this is ultimately a teacher-student romance. what i will say in mxtx’s defense is that she does her level best to mitigate this. the protagonist is really fucking stupid. he in no way grooms his student. he actively hates the character he transmigrated into for possibly being inappropriate towards one of his (female) disciples. he remains unaware of his disciple’s affections for comically implausible lengths. he repeatedly gets fridged for years at a time to narrow the age gap. the disciple ends up becoming wildly more powerful than the protagonist.

a friend of mine commented that scum villain’s teacher/student relationship was at the edge of her comfort zone, not the start, and that’s basically how i feel. it doesn’t really read as a teacher-student romance, as much as it does... farce. i don’t blame people for uh, blanket not wanting to read a teacher/student romance. but i will say--i do genuinely think that mxtx took pains to be as unambiguous as possible that this was parody first and grooming never.

i joke--tongue in cheek--that mxtx will introduce two contradictory iffy power dynamics at once and hope they cancel out. luo binghe is shen qingqiu’s student, but shen qingqiu is dumb. also luo binghe is an all-powerful demon lord. hua cheng met xie lian as a child meeting his ruler, but xie lian forgot about him. also hua cheng is an all-powerful demon lord. ymmv on whether you can enjoy this.

the second elephant (it was hiding behind the first one) is the sexual violence, whether consensual or nonconsensual, which is a major plot point in the story. her other novels, modao zushi and tian guan ci fu, have similar criticisms leveled at them.

scum villain has a climatic scene where the male lead, who is not in control of his actions, has sex with the protagonist. the protagonist finds it painful and coercive. it is difficult to read as consensual for anybody involved. modao zushi has multiple sex scenes with consensual nonconsent and also umm general BL tropes. (this is exacerbated by the lack of content warnings for chapters like the incense burner extra, which desperately needs one.) tian guan ci fu has a scene where the young male lead is aware--and can hear--the protagonist being aroused by um i guess what we’ll colloquially call sex pollen.

they aren’t like. fun or sexy to me as a reader, and i think they’re something that have been stopping points for many people. and um yeah. i think it’s pretty obvious why people may not want to read it. i think it’s definitely possible to skip or skim the scenes if they make you uncomfortable. that said, i don’t think they’re exceptional for the genre.

my overall stance is that her novels don’t activate any of my personal hangups too badly, and i enjoy reading them so i do. i don’t find them like, societally harmful, so i don’t discourage other people from reading them. however, i understand that other people may find them uncomfortable for whatever reason, and i won’t try to convince them otherwise.

i want to defend mxtx from random vitriol from people who don’t cite legitimate critiques, while holding space for people whose experiences with sexual violence and exploitation leave them troubled by her books. all in all, i just don’t think she’s a bad person, even if her books sometimes have content that can be triggering and uncomfortable.

[alreadyblondenow]

COLLAB CALL!

On the 6th of April, year 2018, I decided to stan NCT and support Lee Taeyong with everything. And I can’t remember my life before that. So to celebrate my love for Lee Bubu and for NCT in general, I just had to do something.

So because of my love for ‘FLY ART’ and Lee Taeyong, this writing collaboration or exhibit for NCT’s leader Lee Taeyong will focus on famous romantic paintings.

RULES

This may be a Taeyong exhibit, but if you wish to write for another member and join this collab you’re 100% welcome. But let’s prioritize Taeyong please.

DEADLINE will be during the month of JULY. 

If you’re a kind of person who’s prone to backing out last minute instead of finishing what you’ve signed up for, do it now.

There are no slots for members, but I will accept 10 writers only. And also no repeating of paintings. 

All fics should include SMUT but if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. But as the host of this exhibit, that is my main request.

If you’re underage and you wish to write smut, the answer is no sweetie.

Minimum of 1k words and no word limit.

No topics about BULLYING, HARASSMENT, INC3ST, HOMOPHOBIA, SUICIDE, etc. Please be mindful of your ideas.

No sci-fi, let’s stick to the real world.

HOW TO JOIN

Choose a painting in GALLERY A below. Read the descriptions carefully.

Go to my blog and submit a post to me with this format:

*Attach a photo of your chosen painting, just to make sure that we are on the same page* Keyword: Chosen painting: Chosen member: Genres & AUs: A short description of what you’re planning to write:

After submitting, please wait for me to confirm your slot and wait for me to tag you officially under the post before reblogging it.

Questions will be entertained through private message. 

GALLERY A

Please choose the painting that you wish to write for. All are personally handpicked by me, has different stories and theories and are different visually (obviously).  

The lover by Rene Magritte - The masterpiece that was painted on the canvas in 1928, beautifully captures the essence of any typical relationship. We come across a couple, with hidden faces. Even with their hidden faces, Magritte claims that ‘nothing is concealed in the painting’. Both of the individuals are embracing each other’s presence in their life. Taken by @moonctzeny

Dance on the country by Pierre-Auguste Renoir - Celebrating the love between a man and a woman, this painting appears to be a joyous reflection of them. Both figures appear too different from each other, yet choose to be together. Impression style is used to draw the intimacy between two people. Taken by @yutasgalaxy

The Honeysuckle Bower by Peter Paul Rubens - A gentle touch of their hands portrays intimacy and warmth. The painter deserves appreciation for his ability to use brilliant skills to paint dramatic and high-class clothing. The dressing plays a crucial role in letting us know that the couple is a high society couple. It also has the theme of gender and love. While the man hardly smiles, his wife seems cheerful and happy, implying the different approaches towards the love between the two genders.

The Jewish Bride by Rembrandt - Both of the subjects are dressed richly. A beautiful portrayal of emotions can be noticed in the painting. While both of them are physically close, they do not look into each other’s eyes. We see them lost alone at the moment. They are so mesmerized by their intimacy that they even forget to look at each other. Almost nothing can move them. Taken by @prettyjaems

La Surprise by Antoine Watteau - The lady is carefree and submits herself completely to the arms of her lover. Both of them embrace each other while kissing. However, the third figure is not so much in love. He is holding his guitar. Even though he is trying to play the guitar, his focus is on the passionate couple. On the other hand, a couple is unaware and carefree of his presence. They just can’t notice him playing guitar. The guy sitting alone realizes that even his music can’t reach the lovers’ ears. He is there with his tunes alone.

The Kiss Gustave by Klimt - Intimacy is shown by the way the individuals are locked with each other. The resemblance seems spiritual. A man kisses the woman’s cheek, she shies away.  The romantic painting is still present in Vienna’s Museum. With thousands of admirers flocking every year, its fame only increases. The painting doesn’t let us see the face of the dominant man but gives the spotlight completely to that of the lady. They embrace each other as if they have seized. Their embrace seems to have become eternal. Taken by @bl--ankhaeji

The Birthday by Mark Chagall - This was the painting that he painted just before their marriage and thus holds a significant value in his life. This sets out to be a wonderful self-portrait of the artist and his lover, Bella. While Bella is given full spotlight, an artist himself doesn’t really show much of himself. We can reflect on his love for his muse and how much she mattered in his life through the stage sharing in the painting.

Self-portrait as a Tehuana by Frida Kahlo - The positioning of Diego at the forehead of Frida is vital. Frida does this to depict how she can only think of her lover and ex-husband. He was a womanizer and didn’t ever commit to their marriage. Even after getting cheated on, her love for Diego didn’t reduce at all. She has painted a spider web around her head probably to signify that only Diego resides inside her body and mind. The use of Tehuana, a traditional dress worn by her in the portrait, contrasts with her emotional state. Despite her sadness, she produces various romantic paintings that earned her reputation among admirers and also critics. Taken by @jeontaeil

Le Printemps (Springtime) by Pierre Auguste Cot - It captures young love and its beauty. Young lady’s hands are wrapped around her lover’s neck, while he admires her pretty face. Her white dress signifies the purity of love. It is also the depiction of love itself is the most spiritual experience. The most unique feature of the painting can be the sunlight falling behind the couple. It is painted beautifully and is almost unreal. Taken by @alreadyblondenow

A Romance by Santiago Rusignal - This portrait shows a woman playing the piano while a man stands by her. The painting can be seen as a simple one with its domesticated setting. The woman is lost in the moment as she plays the piano while the man is lost as he listens to her tunes. Both have a calm and also composed face which shows a very relaxed environment. The love between them is music. His paintings are so moving that we can even imagine the music in a painting. 

The Farewell of Telemachus and Eucharis by Jacques Louis David - Telemachus keeps his hand on the thigh of Eucharis, while she hugs him with sadness on her face. Telemachus is the son of Odysseus, who loves Eucharis. Both are passionate lovers. However, Telemachus has to leave the comfort of his town and lover to fulfill the responsibility of being a son. He has to go on a search for his missing father. Colors are used to draw the contrast element. The red and blue dresses strike majorly with the flesh colors of the subjects. The sad but passionate romance makes us love the artistic skills of Jacques. Taken by @yutahoes

keyword: sweet potatoes

Link to my submission post: HERE

[arch-venus25]

The Head and the Heart, Part 3

Hello everyone,

I am submitting this for @just-the-hiddles‘s The Damnit Jim, I’m A Vampire, Not A Landlord Fic Frenzy. I chose prompt “1….You can pay your rent in money or in blood.” I was inspired by all the prompts and will probably use them throughout the series. Basically I use the prompts as guide-lines.

This is the first time I have written and shared a fic online– or ever really! It’s also the first time I’ve written anything modern so please let me know what you think! I hope I’m posting this correctly–I created the title art–LOL I’ve never done this before. I’m aiming to update the series each Tuesday. So here we go…

Series Masterlist: The Head and The Heart

Summary: The twins are taking a night off from their graduate studies– or at least Tessa is; her twin sister, Antha, is just trying to keep her out of trouble. What starts as a night of good old-fashioned fun and flirting quickly changes as they find themselves at the doorstep of the Hollow House Bed and Breakfast.

Characters: OFCs Antha and Tessa King, original characters/vampires

WARNINGS: 18+ for suggestive themes and violence, cursing, implied drug use, implied rape, stressful/scary situations, vampires, and characters with incredible hair– you’ve been warned. Read at your own discretion.

Word Count: 4200

Part Three: Delmar Hospitality

        Antha slowly raised her hands in surrender. It was the best she could do in this unforeseeable situation. Beads of sweat rolled down her chest and back. The searing chill sobered her instantly. “We—we—” She found her mouth desert-dry and unable to form a coherent sentence.

        “Well, are you trespassing or are you lost?” The silken voice demanded.

        “We’re—we’re lost.” Antha panted. A light tumble sounded in the wooded brush as Tessa’s mouth fell open with a gasp, only her teeth could be seen. She fainted.

        “Oh.” The voice sighed. Before Antha understood what was happening long cool fingers wrapped around her wrist and brought her up to stand. “Here.” Those same fingers handed her the gun. She violently shook, her nails impulsively tapping against the metal of the barrel.

        The clouds shifted intermittently, splashing eerie washes of light across the blackness. Long, ethereal white arms appeared out of the dark as the stranger pushed up his sleeves. These bodiless limbs wrapped about Tessa. Am I watching Fantasia? Antha thought—it didn’t even occur to her that she was now armed and could defend them, though she was hardly capable in her muddled state. She stepped back to see him lift her unconscious sister.

        The moonlight poured over something akin to a roman statue come-to-life, with a long column neck and limbs. It frightened Antha to see this otherworldly man peer down from his full height—his great silver-colored eyes burning amidst the night. Despite logic, she had the distinct feeling that he could see more of her than she could of him. “I presume you’ve spoken to the police?” He asked calmly.

        She patted her legs instinctually and realized her sundress had no pockets. Somewhere far, far away her cellphone was nestled in her messenger bag, in the back of Tessa’s car. She shook her head ‘no’ as she was still at a loss for words. “Well, come along then,” replied the stranger. His accent was clean; obviously he wasn’t born of this slower-lower side of the world but seemingly mimicked their colloquialisms.

        Like a white knight he led Antha from darkness and into a comfortably lit yard in the middle of the woods. The well-kept grass stretched in front of them toward a darling little house. There were candle lights in every dormer window, a white-slatted porch with rocking chairs and a sign that said “No Vacancy” to greet them. The stranger turned, “Welcome to Hollow House,” he stated neutrally, not exactly instilling hospitality. Antha clutched the gun in her arms, scanning her surroundings when she could manage to tear her eyes from him.

        Tessa looked like a beloved ragdoll, her long braids swinging peacefully with every step. The stranger held her tenderly as if an appendage of himself, her head cradled to his chest. Why couldn’t I have fainted? Why am I always the one to sort everything out? Antha thought. He carried her with ease up the porch steps and hesitated. He hovered over Tessa’s face for a moment as if he was going to plant a magical kiss that would awaken her from slumber. Then he turned to Antha, brows knitting together for a brief moment.

        “You’re twins.” He chuckled to himself as if something about that was charming. “Would you please?” He motioned to the screen door. She stood frozen in place as if the simple instruction was too much to fathom. “Antha,” he crooned, “when I take you inside, I will lay your sister down, get you cleaned up, and then we will call the authorities. I will help you sort everything out in no time.”

        Thick waves of auburn hair tucked behind his ears and one errant curl falling in his eye line drew her in. His excellent hair aside, he seemed normal enough. Given the monsters she encountered thus far, the normalcy of the house and this stranger were beyond comforting. Additionally, the fact that he held Tessa to his chest made him simply irresistible to deny.

        She shook as she reached for the screen door and held it for him, then he swooped Tessa over the threshold into a lovely foyer. A lean spindle-legged table held brochures for Hollow House Bed and Breakfast. The simple cottage layout and plate of cookies at the door all confirmed for her that she was in fact standing in a bed and breakfast. She followed slowly and watched as he laid her sister down in the Hibiscus Room, right off the foyer and overlooking the back patio. The peach tapestries, brick fireplace, and mahogany wooden furniture framed Tessa, making her nothing short of a sleeping beauty with her mane cascading across the crisp pillows.

        Antha paced backward as he turned to her, leaving the guest room door cracked open. “I assure you she is fine. How about we set this down?” He carefully approached her to take the gun but she clenched it as if she suddenly couldn’t imagine parting with it.

        She didn’t like how he filled up the foyer, frame blocking the dim ceiling light the way an oak tree does the sun. “I’m very sorry about how I approached you before. I heard you two stomping through my woods—and you alarmed me.” He said coolly, not an ounce of excitement in his eyes or face, not even a flush in his cheeks. “Tell me what happened.” When he asked she strangely felt beholden to him. She couldn’t help feeling that he was reading her mind—she knew that was a stupid thought—but something about the way those big eyes held her in place.

        “There was a fight, and, and Tessa ran and so I chased after her—we fell and you found us.” She spilled all of the highlights as if she were reading a teleprompter. The prying feeling lessened when he broke eye contact.

        “I see. Well, please come sit down, allow me to help.” His voice dripping like honey down the back of a spoon. He went to the small dining room off the foyer, pulled out a chair and politely beckoned her to sit. She wagered the risk for a moment but ultimately leaned the gun against the table—within reach—when she accepted the offered seat.

        Feeling naked without the weapon, she held herself as he explained he would bring water. He did everything he said he would and within seconds she found herself staring bewildered into a glass of tap water. Antha felt more at ease when he finally removed the gun from the table and promised to put it away. The kitchen was right off the dining room and she listened as he retreated to the phone, setting the gun down. “…two young women—yes, here at Hollow House. Yes, this is Mr. Smith… Mmm-hmm… No one is harmed. Yes, of course, I understand. Thank you.”

        Antha heard the click of the landline phone being holstered and thought about how long it had been since she had heard such a noise. Since her grandmother’s house she supposed. Her eyes continued their investigation as she waited. Trying to remind herself that she was just on-guard from the hellish night Tessa had put her through.

        The cottage was fine, everything in place. A fruit bowl on display, frills on every corner, the carpet vacuumed. He did everything he said he would, she reminded herself again as she sat on her shaking hands. She was fine. They would wait for the police. They would be fine, she convinced herself.

        He returned to the table with a plate and towel in hand. The plate was placed in front of her and then he bent with a damp cloth and pressed it to her forehead. For a moment Antha found herself quite overwhelmed, quaking in her seat, the adrenaline threatening to keep her on the run until her heart gave out.

        “I believe your story checks out Miss Antha,” he said humorously, “the police said that there was an awful scuffle at the bar out by the road. Once they’re done cleaning that up, they will come to get you two.”

        “Mr. Smith, how did you know my name?” She asked, just over-hearing his from the phone call.

“I could hear you calling to each other.” He explained. “You two created quite the ruckus out there.” He was leaning closer than Antha would have preferred. She never recalled Tessa calling out for her. She also didn’t think she told him about the bar either—stop being stupid Antha, the police told him about the bar, obviously, she chastised herself, her paranoia getting the better of her.

        After pulling the twigs from her braids, wiping the dirt from her forehead and neck he bent to one knee to clean her hands. She sipped her water and stared down at him. His hair was a bit longer than how most men would wear it now, wing-tipped behind his ears and lending to the romance of an Edwardian fashion. The long bridge of his nose and well-placed lips made him truly worth staring at, like the classical paintings in her textbooks.  When he wrapped the cloth over one of her palms his nostrils flared. “That’s a nasty scrape.”

        Antha didn’t realize she was bleeding from when she caught herself on the pavement of the parking lot. Before he sat, she observed his dark button-down shirt partially tucked into slacks; his musculature was not consistent with his occupation. This guy works out for serving cookies and delivering extra pillows, she thought and continued sipping her water. Those great nocturnal eyes never left her, even as he reached toward a bowl on the table, his eyes stayed with her.

        “Here, you must be starved,” he showed his hand to reveal a whole pomegranate. Before she could deny the fruit he tore it open between his large hands. The leathery skin shredded apart as the sanguine juice dotted his pale fingers, the table, and the plate in front of her. Antha could hear herself swallow as the little massacre happened right before her eyes. “Eat, Persephone, and never be released from my palace.” He laughed.

        “I know that myth,” she forced a scoff despite how anxious she felt. She was compelled to be still, attempting to plan her next moves. She wasn’t sure if she was still out of fear or if he was willing her to sit. There was this scratching at the back of her mind again, like a dog at the backdoor, relentlessly trying to get into her subconscious.

        “I had a feeling you would.” He replied knowingly. He leant into his palm on the table, as if fearing she would be too far from him. His offering seemed forced as if he had just read a beginner’s manual of cordiality. Nothing felt organic or friendly. Everything is fine, was what she thought, but something in her gut told her, but not safe. As if an ocean could not quench her thirst Antha finished the water and jolted upward from her seat.

        “I need more water,” she stated blatantly and made her way to the kitchen before he could offer. She felt she could breathe for a moment without those curious gray orbs on her. The kitchen was outdated, but appeared older due to the orange cast of the overhead fan light ticking away, struggling to cool the space. She clutched the sink as if it was her last anchor to the earth. Her eyes kept shooting upward to the dark window in front of her. All she could see was her reflection and the open doorway to the dining room behind her; she was trying to watch her back, making sure nothing suddenly moved.

        While the tap poured foggy water into her glass her eye caught a picture on the counter with a little old white-haired man and woman, their wrinkles holding their sunglasses in place, with Rehoboth Beach in the backdrop. “When are the cops coming?” She called weakly, trying to appear conversational and unsuspecting.

        “Realistically tomorrow morning, not long from now.” His voice carried. He was still at the dining table. Good, stay there, she thought.

        “Oh, we couldn’t trouble you for that long!” Her voice broke against her will, unsure why panic was suddenly rendering her immobile, holding white-knuckled to the sink. Why was there an empty room for Tessa? The sign said ‘no vacancy’.

        Staring at the picture, she saw it said The Smiths 2016. The water was streaming over her hand, overflowing from the already full cup. Her eyes found the reflection of the gun leant up against the ancient landline phone on the wall in the window; it wasn’t the phone itself that made the blood drain from her face, it was the severed phone line dangling from the receiver like a noose. Her heart plunged into her stomach as she pieced together the clues—they were in very real danger.

        “I insist you stay,” the rich-timbered-inflection was too close, and cold breath trickled down the back of Antha’s neck. There was no reflection of the man behind her in the window, all she could see was the terror on her face.

        Glass shards and water exploded against the sink as her hand lost her cup. Her feet left the ground as she found herself turned, and lifted to the counter, her back against the cabinetry. “There’s no possible way we can stay—you see—I, I have misplaced my wallet!” She stammered, attempting to rationalize the situation.

“I’m positive we can agree on an alternate arrangement.” He wedged himself between her thighs, pulling her to the edge of the counter, his nails growing and sinking into her lower back like meat hooks. She had never seen someone so malevolent and beautiful in equal measure as he loomed over her mouth.

        “—Please, I must take my sister home—” she begged, not knowing what was to come. “I can’t leave her—we have to go home!” Tears welled in her eyes as she tried to pull away from the stranger, but found herself latched to him with nowhere to run. His hands held strong as his lips reached the shell of her ear.

        “I wouldn’t dream of separating a pair—she will follow you shortly.” He promised. “Stay.” He told her as if commanding her soul. She found herself unable to fight, her muscles waning as if under a spell. The cold of his cheek dragged across hers as he pulled back to look over her face, his feral irises dilating, impersonal and hungry. His grin displayed a mouth-full of pearly teeth as he sunk to the floor and splayed open Antha’s legs. He hummed gluttonously when he kissed the inside of her knee. His canine teeth grew outward, revealing pristine fangs the closer he drew to her apex. This isn’t real—what is he doing? Her mind raced, her fingers searching blindly on the counter for aid. He threw one of her legs over his shoulder and Antha mustered the last of her will to kick him in the face before she could find out.

        She launched herself from the counter clumsily as the stranger recoiled, her muscles waking up from their enchantment. After snapping his broken nose back into place, he caught a second wind and lunged for her neck. Instinctively, her wrapped hand shoved the stray piece of glass from her broken water cup into the corner of his mouth. He leant against the counter, retracted his fangs and smiled through it, as if he had been pleasantly surprised.

        She snatched the gun as she darted to a nearby door in the kitchen. Her hands frantically locking the door and then searching for a light. Rickety wooden stairs bowed under her feet as she followed carefully forward, her gun-hand sliding down a railing and the other on its mission for a light switch. She could hear him groan as he pulled forth the glass and the blood spilled to the linoleum floor. “Antha, darling,” that same penetrating voice hummed above her as he gathered his bearings, “stay and fight me off—I do so enjoy this.” She could hear him gagging and spitting—she could only hope the glass shard spliced his gums.

        Finally, as if her prayers had been answered, her hand found what it had been seeking. She flipped the light switch on to find one lone dangling bulb above her. For the third time of evening, Antha’s feet left the earth and she toppled over a pile of laundry at the base of the stairs. She saw nothing to defend her, no place to hide. When she scooted back from the heap, she saw fuzzy white tufts. To her horror she recognized old Mr. Smith crumpled atop other bodies, their throats and wrists torn out, blood pooling across the floor.

        Antha covered her mouth to stop from screaming. Her tear ducts working hysterically as she distanced herself from the carnage. How did I end up here? This can’t be happening! The cautious twin thought to herself, why me? The rattle of the door knob broke through her shock as the perpetrator tried to gain access to the basement. The foundation shook as he began ramming himself into the basement door—BAM—BAM—BAM—the door and frame failing under his inhuman force, the wood splintering and the drywall crackling.

        Searching again for anything to save her, as if she was swarmed in answers that her brain could not comprehend in its panic—Antha finally noticed a cellar door. Rushing to it, she undid the inside latch and pushed upward to get out. She could hear the basement door explode, the skittle-like bounce of nails and screws as it finally gave way under his might. Throwing the door back down she jammed the handle with a nearby shim.

        Scrambling through the backyard she hid behind a tree, knowing that it was only a temporary delay for him. The stranger was much too keen for her to outrun she guessed, she definitely couldn’t fight him—perhaps hiding would give her a moment to develop an escape path back to Tessa, an element of surprise—or anything—against him. Antha’s pulse hammering, the vein in her neck thick like an anaconda as the adrenaline coursed through her. She cocked the gun blindly, praying she did it right—worst case scenario she was going to go out swinging the damn thing. How will I get to Tessa?

        Antha pressed her back into the large tree, her gun readied. Trickles of blood ran hot down her legs from his vicious claw marks. She tried to control her breath, but his fury found the cellar doors faster than she wanted. The slamming began again until one of the cellar door’s peaked upward, his elbow bending it as if mere tinfoil. Seconds later the door flew into the yard, mangled.

        “I imagined Tessa to be the runner!” He laughed as he emerged from the ground, taking his time. “Antha, come back to me.” His voice fell into a low growl as he scanned the yard. Her hands shook with resentful readiness.

        Then there was silence, abrupt and oppressive. Her ears strained but could not hear his panther like steps. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, hoping it would aid her hearing—but she was met with complete nothingness. She couldn’t hold her breath any longer, and the faint hiss of her exhale trumpeted amongst the stifling stillness. It must have given her away as the lean, wiry fingers found her throat and ripped her up from the ground like a dandelion.

        She shoved the gun tip to his chest, ready to take out his heart. But to her unfathomable dread, the gun failed her. The dead click of an ammo less shotgun became nothing more than a toy prop in her dire moment. She did what she could to wield it like a bat, but was unsuccessful as he caught it and crushed it in his other hand. Suffocating in his grip she tried to break free.

        “You’re insufferable,” he sneered, his mouth growing its tissue back and reconstructing the damage he endured moments prior. “Did you think I would leave it loaded?” His bright steely eyes scouring over her struggling frame. “As enjoyable as this was, our time is unfortunately over. I will make you a promise.” He pulled in closer, “I will take my time with Tessa.”

        Without cue a wet, meaty sound cut through the woods. The stranger gasped, full of horror and rage as he reached to his chest. A fire iron pierced through from his back. His eyes, nose, ears, and mouth began to bleed. Antha pushed out of his grasp when he lurched forward to the ground. She was on the brink of unconsciousness as she wheezed for breath. She found Tessa was the great impaler. “I’m—not done with—you foolish girls…” He hissed like a deflating tire, his immortal sinews collapsing like a bowl of spaghetti dumped onto the lawn.

        Tessa skirted the rapid decay and pulled Antha into her arms. Stock-still they watched. They bared witness as he writhed, his porcelain skin dripped with taffy-like stretch and slid off his bones. He melted into a puddle, with nothing recognizable left except lumps of clothing and two silver eyes. Tessa reached toward the eyes, but her sister stopped her.

        All that could be heard was their panting and the fizzle of a creature dissolved. They looked to each other, wordless and beyond repair. After a moment or two they drug themselves around the side of the house and toward the driveway. Hearts still punching against their ribcages, the girls numbly followed the long-wooded drive.

        When they finally made it to the main road they found the next street lamp was another mile off. All that could be heard was the rustle of the surrounding crops. They followed the road back toward the light of civilization. Antha couldn’t shake the horror of the Smith’s being slaughtered by that thing. She shivered again, feeling the stranger’s eyes on her. She tried to push the thought down. It’s dead, she thought.

After sometime Tessa began to speak, “I woke up and saw a little old lady on the side of the bed. Her neck was covered in strawberry jam,” she paused strangely, “but I knew it wasn’t jam Ant.” She whined.

        “I know, I know.” Antha stopped to soothe her. Tessa buried her head into her sister’s neck and they held strong for barely a moment before weeping. Antha had never been so relieved to have her sister. She couldn’t believe Tessa was the one to save them. From now on she would abandon her role as the babysitter. All of her safe-keeping and methodical avoidance of danger had failed them both. It was Tessa’s wild heart that saved them.

        “I couldn’t believe you kicked him in the face.”

        “You saw that?”

        “I almost lost my shit—hey, what was he doing down there?” Tessa finally asked.

        “The femoral artery is—well and when you factor in gravity—” Antha’s analytical side kicked in but then quickly dissipated from the stress. “I’ll tell you when you’re older.” She finally sighed, unable to comprehend the fact that she was almost drained by her crotch. Both of them smirked but within a breath were crying again.

        “I’m so tired.” Tessa grumbled and then called for Zoey three times, wishing she would appear to take them home.

“Doug… Doug… Doug…” Antha whispered to herself.

        Just as they thought the night would never end and their blood-stained clothes would never dry, they heard the familiar wheeze of Doug’s old Buick.

        After a deluge of crying, embracing, and the erratic retelling of the whole evening, the twins found themselves buckled in the backseat on their way to the emergency room. Tessa finally sighed when Doug stopped looking at them in his rear-view mirror. He must have mumbled to himself “…vampires?” at least a dozen times as he drove. She sidled into Antha, holding her hand with an iron-clad grip and closed her eyes. Antha couldn’t relax. Her nerves were beyond frayed and she grew uncomfortable under the weight of her sister’s weary head. Something blunt was stabbing into her backside and she shifted in her seat.

        The bright lights of the emergency room entrance burned the teary-eyed passengers. Doug pulled up and jumped out of his car, opening the door for them. “What the hell is in this car—you got rocks back here?” Antha sassed him about cleaning his Buick as she dug out the troublesome object in her seat. Tessa did the same, unbuckling herself and wriggled in discomfort.

        “I just vacuumed, like last year,” he defended, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. In the commotion of the two digging around and shuffling old coke-a-cola bottles and vintage DVDs, they suddenly ceased. A strange silence fell between them. “What is going on back here?” He stared anxiously at them.

Each twin opened a hand to find one silvery, gleaming eye.

Twinning Taglist: If you want to be added or removed just let me know; please share with anyone that might be interested. I would love any and all feedback so I can learn and become a better writer. Thank you!  I tagged some people that I thought would be interested in this. @myoxisbroken @just-the-hiddles @vodka-and-some-sass @nildespirandum @yespolkadotkitty @latent-thoughts @emeraldrosequartz @villainousshakespeare @hopelessromanticspoonie @caffiend-queen @poetic-fiasco @lokimostly @dianamolloy @marvelgirlonamarvelworld @brightsunanddarkmidnight2-0 @cateyes315 @mooncat163 @nuggsmum @myraiswack @wolfpawn @plastic-heart​ @confusednerd09​

[bethd0456]

hellooo lovely! i loved reading your response to my last ask - apparently tumblr is messing up my asks bc a lot of them haven’t been going through :( but let’s hope this one does! i’ve been seeing that you watch cherry magic, and it’s one of my favourite shows at the moment!! 💘 who’s your favourite character? mine is kurosawa personally, i relate so much to him and his gayness. also udon chan, the cutest little cat! what did you think of the last ep, wasn’t it so cute!!! (1/2)

i hope you’re doing well!!! i also wanted to ask what your favourite shows and ships are! i already have a vague idea formulating just by browsing through your blog and over our shared love of cherry magic, but i’d looove to hear your thoughts and your favourites!! wishing you the bestest day! 💘 - your secret santa (2/2)

Hiiiii!!!! I hope life is treating you well!

Omg I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it! I hope you're ready for this MASSIVE answer and you don't get too bored reading this one!

CHERRY MAGIC!!!!!! It instantly became a comfort show for me, as it did for many others!

ADACHIADACHIADACHIADACHI. Adachi is 100% my fave. I never fully understood what a comfort character was. I was like, "yeah! I love Tine also!" But. Adachi is the definition of comfort for me. I see so much of myself in him! Everyone sees him and is like "babie. Must protecc." And honestly? Me too. How can one character be so damn CUTE??!?!? One of my favourite moments is him seeing Kurosawa after the almost-kiss. He just like, sees him, and gets so panicked 🥺 the way his arms just flail about makes me smile like an idiot.

But like, on a deeper level, this drama makes me believe I'm worthy of love. The idea that someone like Kurosawa could be THAT infatuated with you, even though you're an awkward virgin lmao. The point of watching these dramas is to get lost in a story, right? See a situation you want so badly but you know will never realistically happen? The entire premise of the show is just really enticing to me. I am Adachi, Adachi is me. Also, the thing he said in ep6 about not having a clear dream in life? Yeah. I felt that. I'm so envious of people who have passions they work so hard for, it gives them a form of purpose. Like Adachi, sometimes I feel like I'm living in a "daze". I feel like I don't really have any specific passions or skills that I want to develop into a career. Sometimes I just wish I had ambition. Adachi makes me feel so seen and like I'm not the only person who feels like this. The kinds of characters that usually make good protagonists are characters with a clear goal/passion. In most shows this obviously really works, but I can never relate to them personally. It's really special for me to see a character who's similar to me in this way.

Kurosawa is such an amazing character too!!!!! His gay little heart 🥺 on another level, he's just so?? Respectful??? 7. YEARS. 7 years of pining and he holds himself back so well!! He's been waiting for this relationship for so long but is so patient, willing to take things slowly for Adachi. He flirts shamelessly (as he should) but never to the point where Adachi was too uncomfortable.

He cares so much about Adachi :(. But also, even before he liked Adachi, he could tell he was uncomfortable with the drinking thing, so he DOWNED the wine lmao. Clearly he's just a lovely person all round who's really socially aware.

As for other characters:

• Udon my baby!!!! The cutest cat ever!! I love animals sm :(((

• Tsuge's chaotic energy is iconic

• Minato a lovely little dance machine :))

• Rokaku deserves the world, my excitable kiss interruptor :(((

• Fujisaki my love! She's so soft and cute!! Also ace coded how iconic

I ADORED ep8!!! I LIVE for established Adasawa! Adachi coming out to Tsuge :((( I'm so proud of Adachi coming to terms with his feelings and being confident enough to share his relationship with his closest friend. Coming out is not easy and he did so well 🥺

Adachi and Tsuge are so useless bless them 😂 Kurosawa really said "well I guess I have to take these two socially awkward disasters under my wing." Adachi and Tsuge are such a chaotic duo, I love that they can communicate just by touching each other, and omg when Kurosawa said his name Tsuge was "wait maybe I know everything about you already" and if that isn't friendship idk what is

Also Kurosawa making up a poem in his head about Adachi???? Peak romance. Also iconic. I'M A SUCKER FOR HAND HOLDING SCENES SO I DIED. "I like him. I like him. I like him!!" HOW CUTE CAN YOU GET FJKHDSHSKSK

I also got another arm flailing moment when Kurosawa almost got the wrong idea about Adachi and Tsuge!! CAN ADACHI STOP BEING SO CUTE MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT. How on earth his boyfriend is still alive I have no idea.

There are so many other shows and ships I love. I feel like I'll probably miss some, but here we go. These aren't rankings at all, just like, lists lol.

Show list:

1. 2gether

This show means so much to me. It was the first time I watched a bl week by week and it made it so much more special?? I valued scenes so much more than when I binge shows and they would like, look at each other and I'd have a heart attack. They made the first part of my quarantine bearable bc I always had something to look forward to every Friday. I actually really enjoyed quarantine overall as an introvert (not to be insensitive about the literal deaths the pandemic has caused), but I really enjoyed constantly thinking about how long it was until Friday. I'm massively emotionally attached to all of the characters in this show you have no idea. Every single one. The found family of it all,, the way all of the characters have relationships. Still2gether did a phenomenal job of showcasing all of the unexpected but very welcome dynamics and relationships, platonic and romantic alike. I could blabber about this show for so long I'll spare u for now

2. YYY

Is it well written? No. Did I enjoy it anyway?? You know it! I told you how much I love the found family trope. UGH. THIS FAMILY. Also, seeing the feminine side of the LGBT+ community represented positively warmed my heart. There needs to be more bls that do that! Celebrate femininity!! There's nothing wrong with being camp as fuck! It's so much fun!!! This show made me so happy :))

3. Start up

I'm currently obsessed. It's my first Kdrama and holy shit this is what the hype is about. The budget!! The acting! Top notch. On a sad note I really wish bls got that much funding behind them. My heart aches for a complicated story with fully developed characters and plotlines, that just happens to have a gay main couple/character. Wishful thinking for now at least. Anyways, I'm massively emotionally attached to Halmeoni and Jipyeong. Team Jipyeong all the way (even tho Dalmi's obviously gonna end up with Dosan, and I'm happy for them!). All I need is a happy ending for my darling Jipyeong. Please give him one. Also, if anything happens to Halmeoni I will WEEP.

4. Cherry magic is obviously here but I've ranted about that enough already 😂

5. 3 will be free

I would never have expected gmm to make a series like this! But they went and did THAT. Wild. It was such a healthy representation of a poly relationship. The themes of feminism were so well handled and powerful, the chemistry was off the CHARTS, I was hooked from start to finish! Time for a rewatch? I think so.

6. Feel good

Not an Asian drama, but still gay as FUCK. It's written by my wife Mae Martin who also stars in it, and I have to say, it blew me away. Story time!! My friend irl recommended it to me without saying it was Mae, so I was like "okay sure I'll put it on my to watch list I guess" without much motivation to watch it. But as soon as I found out it was Mae I watched it and I've never looked back lol. Once I finished I sent my friend a splurge of messages about my feelings. The series touches on issues like addiction, sexuality and gender. "I'm not a boy. I'm not even a girl. I'm like a failed version of both." That shit HURT.

There's a scene near the end which has really stayed with me. So Mae's character is a comedian and she does a set making jokes about the stuff that happened in the series and oh my GOD. The way I CRIED. It made me realise that people who make jokes about their experiences are using humour as a coping mechanism and when people say "Haha I have daddy issues isn't it funny" we have to remember to be respectful. It's never okay to make jokes about someone else's trauma. Don't make a big deal of it but just don't be a dick.

Anyways I could go on but would 100% recommend this series!

7. HIStory 2 crossing the line

My first bl! This series is the reason I'm so obsessed with bl lmao. The main couple are so soft :( this little series will always hold a special place in my heart!

8. Sotus

My first gmm series, we've come a long way. I miss Kong and Arthit :(

9. Dark blue kiss

Such a brilliant series. I trust P'Aof (director) with my life. This series touches on issues that are so important and deserve to be talked about so much more in bls. This is what happens when you let LGBT people tell LGBT stories! They do it with such care and love!! One of my favourite lines is "I may like men, but I'll never like your brother." One of my biggest let peeves is "I don't like men, I only like x." Like, I get the business behind it, they don't want to make the character gay to make them available for girls to fantasise about. Which is disgusting. But Mork really said "no. ❤" and I LOVE IT.

10. The shipper

I could go on and on about how underrated I think this series is. This series took over from 2gether on Fridays, and while I didn't think about this series constantly like I did with 2gether, this series made my quarantine brighter. Fridays meant I was gonna laugh at least once and forget about life just for a short while. The humour in this series is so fucking dumb lmao, but I'm here for it.

I've seen people talk about the shipper as a bl but I disagree. I think it's better described as a series with bl aspects. The main themes are friendship, family, dealing with loss, respecting boundaries of people you admire, and one of the main messages is about making sure the people close to you know how much they mean to you. Don't get me wrong, the majority of the series is over the top humour, but by the end of it I was personally really attached to the characters and their feelings. Overall I really enjoyed this series but I don't see anyone properly talk about it :(

11. Gaya sa pelikula

A series made by gay people for gay people. Shows like this are so important. This show really healed my soul with how brilliant the representation was :(( "remember we talked about microagressions" the way that means Vlad is constantly educating Karl about LGBT stuff, UGH. SO GOOD. Also this show has the most realistic representation of a crush I've ever seen lmao, soft Vlad is the best Vlad.

12. My engineer

My happy little Saturday show :( I miss the shit writing, shit acting and soft story of this series so much. I'm so fond of this series, I watched it after the horrible ep12 of 2gether and it really made me happy. I'm looking forward to season 2, but Ramking's novel goes DOWNHILL from here on. I know tricreation wouldn't allow the final chapter's scenes, but the entire story is so problematic and unenjoyable :(. The only valid scene is King's coming out scene but that's literally it. And the collar scene can stay lmao.

13. Oxygen

Another soft saturday series! I love this series so much, all of the couples are so bloody healthy and it makes me so happy. The communication is amazing!! THIS is how you show healthy relationships!!!

14. The gifted

S1 was so amazing!! I loved all of it! The only part of s2 we'll talk about is timegracethird. Time best boy!! Grace a feminist queen! When future Grace said they would be friends for a long time that made me so happy :(( also pangwave canon

15. Until we meet again

So I talked about the healthy relationships in oxygen. But uwma really showed the healthiest relationship ever. DeanPharm are just the softest little humans :( I would die for Pharm. He's the closest I got to a comfort character before Adachi. I just have to PROTECT HIM. My motherly instincts really kick in when I see him lmao.

The storyline of this series is just breathtaking. And the ending? I don't think I've ever cried that much. At all. It was so fucking beautiful 🥺

16. My gear and your gown

I really liked this show! Honestly I don't think I'll ever rewatch it but I definitely enjoyed it. The way Pai just seemed to breathe freely for the first time when his parents accepted his sexuality :(((( my baby :( also purefolk were brilliant

Ship list:

1. Saratine

These two are the definition of romance. They mean the fucking world to me. The fact that their story is apparently gonna be continued in some form makes me so. So. Happy. I cannot begin to describe it. My bet is on a special episode and ugh I'm so EXCITED.

2. Aini

Thonhonchonlatee in general is enjoyable but I don't like Thon at all. It's such a shame bc I was so excited for Khaotung and Podd to be in a series together :((. BUT. Aini have grabbed my heart. I knew they would bc miketap are brilliant, but wow. They're so gay my little babies :( miketap are just so natural and comfortable to watch. I love their chemistry so muuuuuuch

3. Sunmork

Coffee boyfriends :( I miss them so bloody much

4. Ramking

One of my fave ships. As I mentioned, I'm apprehensive about s2, but s1 ramking is such a beautiful story. It's just about 2 boys falling in love, no complications. Plant boy who's afraid of dogs falls in love with quiet boy who loves dogs but is afraid of children. Iconic. Also chemistry outsold, I THINK ABOUT THE KISS CONSTANTLY. When I mentioned the acting is shit in this series (shit is harsh, I mean awkward), I did not mean Perth and Lay in the slightest. They really nailed their roles and I loved it.

5. Professor Layton x Claire

You 100% won't get this reference but I grew up with the Professor Layton games and holy shit do they hold up. They're so amazingly written with beautiful stories and the most lovable characters in the world. Layton's intellect, loving nature and surprising athleticism are admirable. Adachi is the character I relate to most, but if I was gonna choose a character to comfort me irl, Layton's your man. His voice is so comforting by nature. I'm blabbering at this point but the point is him and Claire are the only het pairing that matters.

These are just the ships that I felt should be separate from their shows. I love all of the ships from the shows I mentioned.

Oof this got horrifically long, I haven't had a proper chance to rant about most of these shows so I really let it out lol. I hope you've watched at least some of these shows and I didn't just rant to u about 12 shows you've never heard of 😂

I hope you have a wonderful day love!!!!