#blagh blagh blagh i need to get started on shit now. blagh!!!!!

[orcelito]

I have to clean bcus my apartment people are coming for an inspection of the floors (for SOME reason) and I really don't want to. I also need to finish up my lab and I still need to prep those fuckin invitations 😭😭😭😭 smh this was some bad timing for an inspection

[aliypop]

Any Day Now: Chapter 5

Word Count: 2,509

Writers Note: I lost steam on the Tupelo fic, but this one is coming out better!

Warning: Language, death

Pairing: POC OC x Elvis

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Taglist

@darkmoviesquotespizza

@sissylittlefeather

@richardslady121

@thegettingbyp2

@presleyenterprise

@sissylittlefeather

@dkayfixates

@rjmartin11

@thetaoofzoe

@your-nanas-house

@zayurir

@60svintage

@sillybookmarks

Las Vegas 1970

"Don't see why you're sorry, sugar. You didn't lose the greatest Blues singer as a daddy," She giggled a little as she began to cry, 

"Want me to leave the bottle?"

"Please..." Cecelia said. The more she drank the whiskey, the better she felt. She was giggling and flirty and forgetting her troubles, but deep down in her drunken state, she was still sad, angry even at herself. She started with half of the bottle, slurring her words, and her accent was thick, "Y-You, You know whaddya thank of Elvis?" Cecelia asked, "I Thanl he's a swell fella, and-and I-I-I says to him I love you Mr. Presly!" Her hand swaggering on as she talked, the patrons at the bar nodded along, lucky enough to be in her presence. After a minute, Cecelia was down to the bottom of the bottle. She was falling out of chairs and stumbling falling out of fe m "Ya knowww my daddy dieeeed, that's right he did, a-a-an I wasn't there 'hen 'e died," She laughed, "Some 'aughter I am 'ight?" she could feel her heart beating 

fast and the room spinning. Her breathing was getting faster, and she felt lethargic. "A.. An... Anor... Bott.." Cecelia dropped to the floor, bottle in her hand. That was all she could remember. Elvis was pacing in the hotel room. No one had seen her since she walked out, and she could have been anywhere, but he didn't want to think the worst. He then remembered that Cecelia told him back in the 60s. She was battling depression and thoughts, and now he was terrified.

 "I couldn't find her son." Vernon groaned,

"Shit..." Elvis began to shake. His anxiety was kicking in, and it had been an hour now.

"Where the hell is she!" Denise sighed, 

KNOCK

              KNOCK

KNOCK

Vernon opened the door as Jerry stood there. He was silent til Elvis pushed past his dad. Jerry held Cecelia as he looked at Elvis, "Keep an eye on her. She's had a lot." Placing her on the bathroom floor for when she woke up, "Jerry, where was she." 

"At the bar where she."

BLAGH!" 

"Drank an entire bottle of whiskey," Jerry said. Elvis ran to the bathroom as he heard her throwing up her guts. Cecelia was clinging to the toilet as Elvis was holding her hair back, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." she kept saying in between her throwing up, "Shush, it's okay, I'm here," 

"I don't ever want to ACK! Drink again," Cecelia shuttered. She felt sick to her stomach, and the room was spinning. She couldn't get up much, and she felt ashamed and weak.

"Need me to get Doctor Nick?" Vernon asked, 

"No, she just needs a cold rag and rest," Jerry said as Denise stood there with gritted teeth. Elvis had undressed her and put on her pajamas. 

"Elvis..." Her eyes were closed,

"Let's get you to bed," 

The morning after, Cecelia felt her head pounding as she was in the bathroom again. She almost felt pregnant, but worse, 

BLEGH!

"Honey, are you okay?" Elvis asked,

"I feel like shit... What happened?"

"Well, you got drunk last night." Elvis mentioned as Cecelia looked horrified, "I don't... I didn't..." Elvis kissed her hand, "I didn't sleep much. You were talkin in your sleep about your daddy," When he mentioned him, Elvis could see the tears in her eyes. 

"Come here, come here." He wrapped his arms around her as she took his morning scent, "Is he really gone..." Cecelia asked, 

"I'm afraid so," Elvis said as she curled into him. He remembered how he was when Gladys passed. Elvis wouldn't eat. Talk, he'd cry, and Cecelia was there for him the entire time, holding his hand and letting him cry in her chest. Now it was his turn, "I don't think I can go to his funeral. I-"

"How dare you be so irresponsible," Denise said, walking into the hotel room. Cecelia looked at Denise. It was as if she were a little girl again, "Mommy..." she reached out as Denise turned her back to her, 

"Look at you drunk like your..."

"Denise, don't you dare..." Elvis glanced at her,

"Father, you'll kill yourself just like him!" Denise said. Elvis wasn't happy when she said that. He knew Denise was grieving her husband, but this wasn't the right way to go about it. 

"Already sing blues just like him!"

"HEY! Cecelia is havin a hard time too. Give her a little slack instead of being on her ass so much!" Elvis said,

"She's gotta be strong, Elvis. Her mistakes can cost our label..." 

"She's human, she'll make mistakes," Elvis sighed,

"STOP TALKIN ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT HERE!" Cecelia sobbed as he hugged her tightly, 

"CECELIA!"

"NO, Mama, you can sit on your high horse, or you can feel for at least one damn minute, but you will not tell me how to feel!" Cecelia cried, 

"Don't you talk to me like that!" Denise grabbed her face. She looked into her daughter's eyes as she saw Alfonso in them. Denise laughed, "If you'll excuse me a bit..." 

Denise walked out as she cried. Midge saw her, 

"Finally grieving Mrs. D,"

"I lost my husband, my best friend, my manager, my business partner." Denise cried, "Almost lost my daughter."

"What did Cece do..."

"Nearly drink herself to death..."

Valmos Manor Nashville 1970

"Come here, babies," Ruby said as she held onto the twins. They were still traumatized a little from the hospital, but with Eleanor and Ruby, they'd be okay, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost my mama or papa." Elaine sniffled. Eleanor had Elaine on her lap as she smiled, "Well, don't think about it too much. Think about..." Ruby looked at Jessie as he was playing with,

 "Oh my God, Denise still kept that Elvis doll." Ruby laughed as Eleanor laughed, 

"A what?" Jessie looked up as Elaine went to hold it, 

"So, back before you two were born and your mama and daddy were sneakin around dating, I bought your mama this doll in 1957." 

"It was the ugliest thing I've ever seen." Eleanor smiled as Jessie and Elaine laughed, "But Ruby thought it would bring comfort."

"Did it?" Elaine asked,

"Your mama loved that ugly ole thang." Eleanor chuckled,

"I think it's handsome." Elaine hugged it tight. "I wish they were back. I miss them." Jessie said as Elaine nodded in agreement. Jessie then walked to the fireplace as he saw a picture. It was in black and white, and it was Cecelia and Elvis at the Lousiana Hayride in 1955. 

"Papa looks funny!"

"I think he looked handsome," Ruby smiled,

"Let me see!" Elaine smiled, looking, "They look like they had a crush on each other," 

"They might have, but I tell you, I liked that look better than the sideburns," Eleanor mumbled,

"What about my sideburns?" Elaine and Jessie froze, running to the door and hugging their daddy as he kissed their foreheads, "See, you found that ugly behind doll." He joked, 

"Elaine loves it," Ruby laughed,

"Just like her mama,"

Cecelia walked in as the kids ran and hugged her. There was an odd shift of wind in the house. Cecelia couldn't look at the pictures or awards. 

 "Mama!!!!"

"My babies," She hugged them both. "Laine, J, are you two okay?" She asked as they nodded, 

"Grandpa's not coming back, is he..." Jessie asked,

"I don't think so..." Cecelia tried to hold it together,

"Okay, Ruby, Eleanor, we need to view the body..." Denise said, "And then I need to figure out who's taking over his half of Paradise and his funeral plot in North Carolina." Denise smiled, Midge, Elvis, and Cecelia looked at each other, 

"Well, don't stand there! Let's go!

"Cecelia..." Ruby said, 

"I'll stay with the kids," Cecelia smiled, "Maybe stop by the studio."

"I'll stay with you." Elvis smiled, taking her hand and kissing it. As everyone left, Cecelia stood on the steps thinking of memories, but one stood out the most.

1957

Cecelia put on her red heels and went downstairs. "Mornin Daddy," she kissed his cheek, "Morning, Mother," she hugged her as Denise looked at her, 

"That dress and the red lipstick..."

"I can take it off if you'd like ..."

"No, keep it. If you want to look like a woman of the night." 

"I was going based on my album for the interview," she mumbled, putting the plate of food on the table, 

"Where did Mr. and Mrs. Presley go?"

"They went to the store. They'll be back." Alfonso said as he looked at Denise, smiling at her, 

"Speaking of Presley's your uh friend Elvis, how's he doing?"

"He's still asleep. He doesn't get much of it with Tom Parker around." she smiled.

"I see, but damn can he eat!" Alfonso responded, laughing a bit.

Soon after, all the camera crew had set up shop in their living room. Cecelia was sitting next to the tree as her parents were on the couch, snuggled nice and cozy, and talking about their cover of Baby It's Cold Outside. 

"We've been married for so long. That the chemistry is still there." Denise smiled. Cecelia couldn't tell if it was genuine or not.

"Is it true you two are separated?"

"Separated from this ol girl, never!" Alfonso smiled as he kissed Denise's hand, and she slowly glared at him. Cecelia sighed, hoping maybe someone would acknowledge her existence.

"Cecelia, tell us about your Christmas album! Not only do you have Little Richard. And a duet with BB King, but Elvis Presley! On Jingle Bell Rock, how did you manage that?

"Well, you know Aaron Pres and I. We go way back to the Hayride days. We got noticed at the same time. We're great friends really and...." The stairs creaked as the attention turned to Elvis, who was rubbing his eyes still from sleep as he was halfway dressed, 

"Hey Nel, is breakfast ready..." he paused as he slowly went back upstairs, Cecelia chuckling as her parents were fuming in anger, 

"Like I said, we go way back."

1970

"Is Mama okay?" Jessie asked as Elvis nodded, "She's thinking about something." He smiled, ruffling up his hair, "Like what?"

"Memories." He smiled, " A lot of memories happened in this house," Cecelia grinned as she stepped on the creaking step. Elvis shuddered as he remembered the many times he'd stepped on it. "EL! MY ROOM IS STILL THE SAME!" She giggled. He ushered the kids upstairs. As they went inside her bedroom, "It's so pink..." Jessie laughed as Elaine flopped on the bed, "Who's that?" Elaine pointed to a poster, "Uncle Dean and Uncle Frank." Cecelia had smiled as Elvis playfully rolled his eyes at how she swooned out their names, 

"And who's that with all the lipstick on him," Jessie asked as Cecelia turned red, 

"That's uh..." 

"That's Daddy!" Elaine smiled, "But why kiss that when you had the real thing?"

"Well... You'll understand when you're older." Cecelia smiled, 

"You too, Jessie," Elvis said. The two then laughed and scrambled off as Elvis closed the door. He leaned against it as Cecelia smiled, "I feel like I'm twenty again." sitting on her bed, "Why twenty?" Elvis asked out of curiosity, and then it hit him, "Oh, twenty..." he smirked as she blushed harder, "Finally understood what you meant about good rockin'." She smirked, 

"Now we can't stop rocking," He walked to her, kissed her, and pulled her close,

"CECELIA, ELVIS, KIDS, WE'RE BACK!" Midge shouted as they ran downstairs. Denise glanced at Cecelia and Elvis as she sniffed her daughter, 

"You smell like Elvis..."

"Thank you," Cecelia blushed,

"Wasn't a compliment." 

North Carolina 1970

"El, thank you for being here," Cecelia sighed. They were at the repass of Alfonso. Her family was there, his friends, and of course Elvis, "Baby, this is just as much my family too." he kissed her hand as she smiled. Walking by was Irene, the cousin Cecelia loathed, "Sorry for your loss," her nose in the air as Cecelia wanted to chop her in half, 

"See, you bought Elvis." she laughed,

"That's what you do when you're married to the man who's the father of your kids, Irene." Elvis glanced at her as she walked away. Cecelia chuckled. The twins were playing with their cousins and walking up toward Elvis, 

"BB," Both Cecelia and Elvis said, smiling a little,

"If it and Mr. and Mrs. EP," He hugged them both, "Sorry 'bout ya pops." He hugged her, 

"Thank you. I know he would've loved to have seen you again." She smiled, "He will. Someday honey, say you make this sweet potato pie."

"I made 99% of that plate. My mama was too distraught to cook." Cecelia laughed as Elvis was eating, too, 

"EP, you better cherish this woman. They ain't makin 'em like her." 

"Believe me, I know," He kissed her forehead. Denise watched in the corner as she smiled. This was family to her, supportive even on the bad times like this,

 "AYE Cousin Crudup made it!"Cecelia gasped, running to him. Arthur Crudup and Alfonso were best friends. He was like a big brother to her daddy. And to Elvis, a big inspiration, 

"Cece, you didn't tell me you were related to Big Boy Crudup..." 

"He's like an Uncle to me." She smiled, 

"Mr. Presley,"

"Sir." He shook his hand, "I'm a huge fan..."

"I know, little bit here told me, all them years ago." He smiled. As he sat down, "You know I ain't never seen my song get dat big til you did it." He laughed, "Course me an Alfonso wrote it half drunk," he then hugged Cecelia as she hugged him back,

 "Be strong," 

A few hours later, everyone was singing. Denise, Eleanor, and Ruby were by the piano singing gospel songs. And then Elvis joined in. Cecelia had come with her daddy's guitar, and she strummed it as she shed a small tear. 

"In honor of my daddy." Cecelia smiled as she began to sing That's Alright. Elvis looked over at her as Denise laughed, a few through tears. Cecelia was so much of her and her father, so in a way, his legacy never died.

"This song here is one that I cherish. I remember being eleven and hearing it, knowing my daddy had something to do with it, que 1954, and I'm listenin to some guy sing it," Cecelia laughed, looking at Elvis, "Y'all know him as Elvis. I know him as my best friend and my husband and the guy who eats my fries." She laughed. Elvis kissed her cheeks.

As everyone left, Cecelia, Elvis, and the kids were packed into the car as they drove to where they'd be staying for the night. It was a white house with a porch swing on a big piece of land, a bit bigger than Elvis's house in Tupelo, "What's this place, mama?" Jessie asked as Cecelia got out of the car and cried, 

"Home..."

[elderbwrry]

Even if he doesn't say so - Chapter 2/?

Kylo/Hux/Poe Witcher AU

Chapter summary: The trouble with trinkets is they make people jealous. Or maybe that's just Kylo.

Chapter 1 here, 2 below or on Ao3, 3

Wordcount: 2029

Kylo raised his sword and brought it down fiercely on the horrible carnivorous vines he'd been hired to clear out of the local village's moor edge. The things had already munched their way through a cow and half a sheep, and the villagers were worried a child would be next. Perhaps to his own detriment, Kylo wasn't really all that interested in the reasons why he'd been hired; he was far more interested in the coin he'd get out of the experience, and the opportunity to really let loose some destructive energy.

Of course, Kylo had been trained well in fencing, dagger fighting, stave fighting and in hand to hand combat, but for his typical work, he favoured the longsword. The weight of it felt so right in his hands, the swing of it, the sharp edge or the blunt hit, the way it gleamed red after drawing blood. For most monsters, it worked perfectly well, but even then the necessity to dodge or force down some kind of potion usually took the pleasure out of the pure heft behind it. These vines, however, were easy game. They thrashed, shot out poisonous barbs, but mostly they stayed in one place. That meant Kylo could swipe the metal through them with abandon, and still be assured he'd meet his mark.

He hacked and slashed, let a furore course through his veins and out into his surroundings, over and over and over through whatever fleshy leaf, woody stem, fibrous buds he could reach with metal and intensity. When finally he let his sword drop to trail its point through the under-brush at his side, it was carnage. He went around the area, plunging the blade as deep as it would go into each root stump until he was satisfied that nothing was living, before stalking away from the destruction.

Chest heaving, he found a flat, dry piece of ground and lay down, looking up at the clouds and basking in the feeling of action still tingling through his arms, into his fingers, out into the earth and the air around him. He felt connected – to the ground he was lying on, to the source of his own power, without being worried he was lost in the force of a potion. This was all him.

Back in the village, when they'd described to Kylo what he was out to fight, Hux had listened carefully and given a fancy academic name for the vines. Kylo stuck with the common name, shrugging and standing to head off immediately. Hux had reprimanded him and delayed him until he'd found an anti-toxin potion to order Kylo to take before engaging the things, which Kylo had ignored. Now, looking down at his legs and seeing several barbs sticking out of them, Kylo again heard Hux telling him, “They have poisonous thorns, you know,” in exactly that tone that could piss him off just as much as it could make him want to pounce on Hux and make his annoyance known by ripping a few tunic seams in the process.

Still, the mage was right, as per fucking usual.

Kylo hauled himself up to sit, drew the potion out of a pocket and downed it, picking the barbs out while he waited for it to take effect. The pricks tingled a bit, but it wasn't anything too bad, certainly not to the severity that Hux's wariness had suggested. Though it was nice that he'd given him the potion. It felt like being looked out for.

He let his mind drift to how Hux and Poe would be doing. The mage was likely offering common-sense medical advice to the villagers in the most deadpan delivery possible, or flicking through one of the books he'd brought with him in his seemingly bottomless bags. Poe had been eager to do his usual thing and perform a little in the tavern. His voice was so wonderful, Kylo found himself thinking, the sparkle in his eyes as he reached the punchline of a bawdy tune, and the way he could command a room, tell a story better than anyone else before...

Well, Kylo should be getting back.

He stood, gave the area one last cursory look for any vines he'd missed, and, seeing nothing, turned to go. He was just sheathing his sword when he stopped, eyes catching on a clump of cheerful orange and white flowers which had managed to survive his visit, just on the edge of the carnage.

“Hmm.”

When Kylo returned to the village tavern and gave Poe those same flowers, Poe's face lit up with a smile. “Well, don't I feel special.”

Kylo noticed Hux eyeing them. Shit, had he done something wrong? “They're not poisonous too, are they?” he asked.

Hux seemed to snap out of some kind of reverie. “No, they're... they're just normal flowers. Excuse me,” he stood from the table he was sat at and made for the stairs.

If Kylo didn't know better about Hux's taste in “useless gestures” like flowers, he would have thought he should have brought Hux some as well.

[break]

They stopped at the next city. Kylo wasn't sure they should stay – there were no contracts of the style he took, and, in his opinion, staying pointlessly at a place like this was a recipe for trouble – but Poe wanted to get some supplies and try out a some new material with a more cosmopolitan crowd, and Hux claimed he had someone he wanted to visit, so stay they did.

Hux disappeared off into the bustling crowds early in the morning, and, later, Poe dragged Kylo off to the market. Kylo started to suspect he was only there so that Poe could make him carry things, which would grate on him usually, but he found didn't mind all that much, since it meant he got to spend time with the bard.

Poe was a people person, a fact which Kylo had always known, but it was never so clear as when he was not trying actively to entrance people as he did when performing – somehow not putting it on made it all the more obvious this was just him. He would flash charming grins to the women and manoeuvred through the crowds with an ease Kylo was jealous of.

For his own part, Kylo always felt the need to keep his hood low, to keep out of sight, even going so far as to cast a glamour some witch had taught him years ago. It was a weak thing, but eyes slid off him like water droplets off a bird. With Poe, however, he didn't need it; the man was so magnetic as it was, there was barely anyone who would bother to stare at anyone else. (Kylo included himself in that number.)

Finally, they came to a stand selling all sorts of gold and silver jewellery, pretty trinkets, gemstones on cords. One brooch caught Poe's eye – a dragon. “This is some amazing craftsmanship,” he noted, striking up an easy conversation with the stall keeper. When the man had to tend to another customer, he turned back to Kylo. “I'd love to fly. Do you think I'd be a good dragon?”

“You'd be great,” Kylo told him honestly. He was certain Poe would command the skies, given half the chance, and push back against the hunters until the entire Continent was dragon territory once again. The mental image morphed into one of Poe in front of a victory banner, the name of a great flying lizard no more than an epithet used by the forces he'd become leader of. It was a good look in him; he may not want to be in charge of his home kingdom, but with a cause like that, and people to follow him, he could be formidable. Lost in the daydream of Poe as some kind of dragon king of the skies, Kylo pointed at the brooch. “Do you want to get that?”

Poe looked at it thoughtfully, enough that Kylo could see the conflict in his thoughts. “Nah,” he said eventually, “it's expensive and... I have stuff at home.” He began walking away, and Kylo trailed after him, thinking it was a pity – the brooch would look so wonderful on him. “Maybe I could get Hux to transfigure me or something,” Poe mused, a glint of humour in his eye as Kylo blanched.

“I'm not sure that's how it works...”

“Imagine it though. Flap flap, blagh, I'm a dragon.”

[break]

A day after they left the city, they made their first camp at the edge of a copse. Kylo was checking over his armour while Poe and Hux were sat on a log opposite him, Poe cooking a fowl on the fire and Hux watching him do it. Kylo had let himself fall into a somewhat meditative state as he worked everything over, but a glint of silver and amber across camp hooked him out of it.

Hux had withdrawn a small pouch from his pocket, and withdrawn from that again a brooch. Another second let Kylo confirm – it was the very brooch from the city market. How had he known? Then he was handing it to Poe with a smooth, “I saw this and thought of you.” Bastard.

Poe was speechless for a second. “You shouldn't have,” were the first words out of his mouth.

“Well I can always-”

“No, I'll...” Poe reached to take it from Hux's hand. Kylo's jaw clenched as Poe's fingers lingered for too long. “Thanks, Hux. This is... wow.” He put it on, pinning it over his heart.

“It isn't straight.” Without waiting to be asked, Hux reached up with deft mage's fingers to fix it, smoothing out the fabric more than was necessary. “There.”

The leather armour in Kylo's grip creaked. Poe didn't hear it, but Hux shot him a look and... was that a smirk?

Then it hit Kylo; those flowers he'd given to Poe weeks ago must have made Hux jealous. It did not enter into Kylo's conception that Hux could simply like seeing Poe happy – happiness could be a part of it, certainly, but Hux was too cunning, too driven by ulterior motives for it to be that simple – or that Hux's feeling at seeing Poe like another person's gift could be any different to what Kylo himself was now feeling at seeing the same.

Well, if this was to be a game of one-upmanship, Kylo was sure he'd find a way to win. To make Poe smile like that, run a hand through his curls self-consciously as he now was – Kylo could do that just as well as Hux could. The rest of the evening, his mind was spinning with things he could give to the bard, trinkets of affection he could source the next time they crossed a place which dealt in such things.

The fire burned down and Hux retreated into his tent for the evening, Poe and Kylo settling on their bedrolls. They ended up facing each other, so Kylo, with his Witcher eyes, was not spared the view of Poe's finger fiddling with the brooch as he smiled to himself.

“He shouldn't have got it for me,” Poe mumbled again, as if sensing Kylo's train of thought, “It's probably gonna get broken.” Then, quieter, “I worry enough about whether you two will stay in one piece, I'd rather not worry about tiny things like this as well.”

Kylo thought about that for a minute. “You worry about us?” He couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice. Out of all of them, Poe was the one who should be being worried about – Kylo himself was nigh on destructible, and Hux would probably survive anything out of sheer spite, even discounting his magic.

“Shut up,” Poe chuckled.

Kylo watched him smile up blankly at the canopy. And... if Poe could be happy like that without being showered with gifts, if it would please him more to worry about them less, maybe Kylo didn't need to compete with Hux. Perhaps the three of them were good enough as they were.

[cryptidbutchh]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THE AVENGERS

“the tesseract has awakened” oh you mean the glowy cube from captain america AND captain marvel? THAT glowly cube?? cool looking stairs- ew who tf are you? the grim reaper??

what the fuck is a chitauri and why does it sound like sea food. “a world will be his. the universe, yours.” STOP BLAMING THE PRONOUN GAME AND GIVE ME NAMES FFS

ooo shield base. “not a drill.” oh shits going down- COULSON. FUURRRYYY FUCK YEAH. the best marvel characters are here the movie has peaked- oldman from thor is here?? intoresting. and who the hell is this woman tryna question fury??

the glowy cube is a shE???????? HUH??????? oh hey its hawkeye the badass archer guy. oh shit things are going down. the cube is sparking and swirling??- IT OPENED A PORTAL

LOKKIII YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD WELCOME BACK. HE HAS A SHOOTY MAGIC SPEAR LIKE A BADASS. he just took out a bunch or shield with a shooty spe- OHMYGODS HE CAN CONTROL MINDS WITH IT.

“loki. brother of thor.” OLDMAN STFU

GUNS GO PEW PEW ALONG SIDE A GOOD OLD CAR CHASE SKSHSKKSHS. RUN FURY RUNNN. the portal imploded on itself like a moron hA

WHO TF NAMES THEIR CHILD “HILL” WTF. “we are at war.” NO SHIT SHERLOCK A NORSE GOD STOLE THE CUBE YOU WERE SUPPOST TO PROTECT

tis a train and a old building- NATASHA. how tf were you taken hostage? im so glad i have subtitles on otherwise i wouldnt understand a thing these ppl are saying. HOW TF IS SHE KICKING ASS WHILE TIED TO A CHAIR WHAT IN THE HELL-

oh his leg deff broke once he fell off the ledge tied to a chain. cut to a lil gorl running to find a doctor- who tf this is of course. THIS GUY IS BANNER??? i mean im glad they changed the actor but wtf. “theres no one that knows gamma radiation like you do.” YA DONT SAY, ROMANOFF. “STOP LYING TO ME” JESUS FUCK THAT MADE ME JUMP

oh damn shield has their own O5 council? cool. EXPLAIN WHAT PHASE2 IS ALREADY. also dont say thor is bad he is a giant puppy dog with a war-boner.

oh hi steve, working off that PTSD by beating the shit out of a punching bag ay? oh right steve knows the glowy cube. “at this point i doubt anything would surprise me.” “ten bucks says you’re wrong” welp ya owe him ten bucks steve

“is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract to help us now?” “you should’ve left it in the ocean.” WELL THAT HELPS ALOT DOESNT IT. hello there iron man, at the bottom of the ocean.? sure why the hell not

aye stark tower’s about to have clean energy, yay stark! “stark tower, is your baby.” how do you give birth to a tower.???????? KSHSJSHSKSJS COULSON BROKE INTO THE TOWER “is first name is agent.” TONY SKSHKSSHKSVSKSHSKS

*whisper whisper whisper* yeah she bribed tony with sex so he’d work on the avengers and stuff. “the guys like a stephen hawking.” “. . .” “hes like a smart person”

awh coulson is fangirling over steve- watched you while you were sleepin- man you’re awkward. you adorable dumbass. ohshit underground musky lab- OLDMAN AND LOKI

the world is breaking around loki. sea food army is restless- shut the fuck up you stupid looking eye wrapped bastard. WHO THE HELL IS THIS HE?????? welcome back to earth you smexy man

FLOATING WATER BASE

back to avenger tingz. man coulson is the biggest cap fan- oh its a giant sub- NO ITS A GIANT FLYING BASE HOLYSHIT SHIELD THATS AMAZING.

now we go into the meetings and talking related stuff :I yey. “lets vanish” wdym- IT HAD A CLOAKING DEVICE. HA STEVE JUST GAVE THE TEN HE OWED SKSHSKHSKSJS

i dont understand a word of all the science stuff they just said but yay. “i need a distraction. and an eyeball” barton what the fuck why do you need an eye.?

oh lokis in germany, at a very fancy party might i add. loki is best boy ever. even if he just bonked a the head/ OHMYGOD AND STOLE HIS FUCKING EYE JESUS CHRIST INFRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE.??????

“i said. KNEEEEL” dont need to tell me twice-

blagh villain speeches are the worst. why tf did this old guy stand up “not to men like you.” shut up. SHOOT HIM- wtf. steve what the hell are you wearing? what the fuck is that- aye tonnnyyy!!!! he hacked into the jet thingy and started playing music from the speaker thats the best.

CAPSICLE SKSHSKSHKSHSKSJ- ohfuck thunder. THOR WELCOME TO THE PARTY. “im not overly fond of what follows” WKVSKSBSKSHSJS

HE JUST BROKE INTO THE JET AND STOLE LOKI FROM EM. “theres only one god ma’am. and im sure he doesnt dress like that.” cap stfu

“i thought you were dead.” “did you mourn.” damn loki thats harsh. thor is angy at his brother. “you listen well brot-ARGH” “..im listening?” STARK YOU CHOSE THAT MOMENT TO BODY SLAM THOR OFF THAT CLIFF AND LEAVE LOKI BEHIND? REALLY?

“.. tourist.” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KICK HIS ASS, THOR. DONT KILL HIM WITH LIGHTNING THO

if someone throwed me against a tree i wouldnt be walking. im just saying

“THATS ENOUGH.” cap did you think that would work?? and how the hell did your dinner plate stop the power of thor

loki do be in jail tho. how’s this gonna go wrong- oh he smiled at banner. THATS how it goes wrong

tell him off fury! “you have made me very disapoin-“ OH NVM HE SAYS DESPERATE IGNORE THIS

“uNlimiteD pOoWeRRRRR”

“let me know if real power wants a magazine or something.” good comeback fury. i think

“loki is beyond reason, but he is of asgard. and he is my brother” “he killed 80 people in two days.” “he’s adopted.” KSBSKSJSJSJSK

“that man is playing galaga. he thought we wouldnt notice, but we did.” TONYKANSKSHKSJSKSJ tony is a fucking legend. “finally someone who speaks english!” “is that what just happened?” steve stfu you’re a fighty man not a smart man

“i do! . . . i understood that reference.” steve nvm keep talking please. PLEASE THE MAN IS STILL PLAYING GALAGA SOSJSKSJSJKS

why is tony eating blueberrys- where the hell did he get blueberrys. “we have orders. we should start following them.” steve you tried to get into the army under fake locations for months AND broke into a german base when you were a showpony. stfu about following rules

“so you’re saying the hulk.. the other guy? saved me” yes. yes we are saying that, banner. aye steve go break into shit like you’re suppost to :D

oh hi again oldman, welcome back. yay shield saved padme, and awh oldman talked about thor alot. thor i love you alot. loki just tell nat where tf you left barton :/ oh barton was sent to KILL nat?? not hire her?? well that went downhill. whomst the hell is dreykov- sao paulo- the hospital fire???? hawkeye wtf why’d you spill it all to loki.

mewley quim wtf kind of insult is that- oh damn nat figured out the hulk is lokis next plan of attack. PHASE TWO IS TO USE THE GLOWY CUBE TO MAKE FUCKING WEAPONS? SHIELD WHAT THE HELL

HA FURY TRIED TO LIE IS WAY OUTTA IT BUT BC STARK HACKED INTO IT ALL HE JUST EXPOSED HIMSKHSKSJSKS

WAIT THEY WERE MADE FOR THOR AND ASGARDIANS? WHAT THE FUCK SHIELD- oh damn lokis staff is the reason they’re all at eachother. probably

“yeah. big man in a suit of armor. take that off what are you?.” “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” well you’re not wrong

guys stop fighting, HAWKEYE IS BREAKING IN. “in case you needed to kill me. but you cant. i know, i tried.” awh thats sad, i wanna hug banner so bad :(

OHSHIT AN ENTIRE WING GOT BLOWN UP THE FLYING BASE IS GOING DOWN- HULKS COMING OUT THATS NOT GOOD. the transforming is scary- RUN NAT

loki stop smiling because the plan is going your way. “it seems to run on some form of electricity.” “well you’re not wrong” tony stop being funny this isnt fair

HULK JUMPSCARE JESUS CHRIST- NAT GOT BITCHSLAPPED THROUGH A WALL- YAY THOR TO SAVE THE DAY. HAMMER TIME BABYY

*B O N K*

hulk trying to pick the hammer up is funny. BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. DO YOU THINK SHOOTING HULK IS A GOOD IDEA??? HE JUST TOOK OUT FIGHTER JET AND ALMOST KILLED THE GUY FLYING IT

CAP IS KICKING ASS- OH GOD NO THE ENGINES ARE FAILING. OHGOD LOKI IS OUT- THOR YOU DUMBFUCK DID YOU FORGET LOKI CAN DO MAGIC SHIT? NOW YOU’RE STUCK IN THE GLASS CONTAINER

COULSON SAVE THOR! SHOOT LOKI DAMNIT- COULSON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

glass cage go brrrrr

HA LOKI GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY COULSON BEFORE HE DIES( :( ) tony almost got minced by the engine thingys

im gonna cry coulson how dare your death make me sad :(( stupid heart breaking aftermath moments.

thor is stuck in a field, banner fell through the roof of a building. awh the security guard is so nice :) barton is a fucking mess right now “how’d you get him out?” “i hit you on the head really hard.” KSJSKKSSK

tony figured out lokis plan- ITS TAKING PLACE AT HIS TOWER? THE AVENGERS IS TAKING ACTION BABY LETS GOOOO

wait a fucking moment, the cards coulson has are covered in blood. so you’d think they were on him when he was stabbed- yet hill just said they were in his locker “they needed the push.” FURY YOU RUINED NEAR MINT VINTAGE COLLECTABLE CARDS TO MOTIVATE SUPER FREAKS???

o hi loki welcome to stark tower

“stalling wont change-“ “no no, threatening. no drink? ya sure? im having one.”

“i have an army.” “we have a hulk.” HE SAID IT, HE SAID THE LINE

HA LOKI CANT TAKE STARKS MIND BC HIS HEART IS SOME TECHY METAL CRAPKSJSKSJSKS- i guess choking and tossing him around works. so does throwing hik out a window

oh no the glowy cube just opened a portal for the army of seafood. they look like creatures from halo.

BROTHER FIGHT

CHAOS EVERYWHERE

PLANE DOWN PLANE DOWN

what the fuck just growled- HOLYSHIT THEY HAVE A SPACE LEVIATHAN. it looks badass ngl. loki redemption arc? nope he just stabbed thor.

SPACE BIKE GO BRRRRR

yes because arrows and guns will stop the, alien monsters with lazer arms. some how its working. “just like budapest all over again.” “you and i remember budapest very differently.” WTF HAPPENED AT BUDAPEST BARTON AND NAt, HUH?

cap just scared the shit outta some police men HAHA

“i have unfinished business with loki.” “yeah? get in line” barton is snarky right now. banner just rides up on a motercycle like “hi what i’d miss”

“im bringing the party to you.” stark says while being chased by a giant metal space whale who’s crashing and crushing everything in its path along a street

“thats my secret cap. im always angry.” FUCK YEAH BANNER MESS THAT SPACE WHALE UP. HE JUST PUNCHED A GIANT FUCKING WHALE THING.

the music, the avengers circling around. its amazing. well things are gonna get worse bc more space whales showed up

“and hulk. . . smash.”

LIGHT THEM FUCKERS UP, THOR. shield maybe instead of watching, maybe, oh i dont know. HELP THEM???

i dont know what else to say other then its alot of fighting and smashing alien faces into the ground

hulk and thor kicking ass on the back of a space whale is awesome. HULK WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIMSJSOSHSKJSKSJSKSKSKSK

i fuxking love when steve turtle shells behind his shield.

“director fury. the council has made a decision.” “i recognize the council has made a decision. but given its a stupid-ass decision, i have elected to ignore it.” fury never stop being awesome

loki thought he was so smug when he caught bartons arrow, then it blew up in his face. literally IKSKSKSKSKS

HULK FUCK LOKI UP! JSHSKSGKSHSJSHSJSJ HE JUST TOSSED LOKI AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL ��puny god.” “*pained wheezing from a smooshed loki*”

oh damn- OH DAMN, STARK. he just jonahed the fucking whale thing and blew it up from the inside. well now the city has a nuke coming for it :/

yall have a chance to shut the portal down, and tony, you want to go INTO that portal and throw the nuke in? wtf stark.

TONY GO BACK TO EARTH DAMNIT FUCKING BASTARD PASSED OUT. yay hulk saved his stupid ass. do cpr.? mayb.? or a hulk roar will wake him up KEJSKJSKSSKJS

tony. you just blew up a alien command center with a nuke, passed out and fell to earth through a portal. and you want, shawarma?

and now back to loki. “if its all the same to you, i’d like that drink now.” ISHSKSJSJSJSKSJSJ

STAN LEEE

the people love em. yey

council lady stfu about the avengers being a threat. they just said the earth and you’re worried about them going rouge??

“if we get into a situation like this again, what happens then?” “they’ll come back.” i mean theres three more avenger movies so i assume so. remodaling stark towers so its the avenger tower? neat!

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN 3

*MID CREDIT SCENE* oh hi again mr no eyes. do we get to see this HE? OH WE DO. o hi mr 10 chins

once again ignore the misspells it was three AM when i finally finished this and im just now rereading it

[peeterparkr]

limits of desire⤳t.h.

chapter one: set the date.

MADE OF HONOR|AU

So, after that photoshoot, I decided to get back on my shit. I’m re-uploading it, editing it and changing a few things. Yes, I’ve posted this fic before but I feel like I’ve grown as a writer and it’s a fic with so much more potential. 

summary: Tom has a new life and he bumps into y/n who definitely isn’t into him. 

pairing: fuckboy!tom holland x reader

warnings: alcohol mention, swearing

word count: 4k

btw I’m afraid I’ll disappoint so tell me what you think

teaser

next chapter

series masterlist

October 2016.

October is the best time of the year for some people, particularly for students who’re on the verge of trying not to collapse. Cold weather, but not too cold, orange leaves on the floor accentuating the aesthetic we’re all thriving to have, outfits that include the best fashion possible, the basic but seasonal favourite pumpkin lattes, excuses to drink tea just by the window, watching horror movies and blaming them for not being able to sleep.

Halloween was just around the corner, two days away to be exact.  Sadly, exams were also around the corner. However, that particular combination gave the perfect excuse to the students of every university in London to get drunk to forget all their troubles while being dressed as completely different strangers, meaning it gave them the amazing opportunity to throw parties all around just to hook up with equally drunk beings. 

And it gave Tom the perfect excuse to play his favourite new game, too. Tom Holland, of course, was not going to waste the opportunity on dressing up as his new favourite women-magnet, his Spider-Man costume and his oh-so-charming smile. Him and Harrison were enjoying themselves at one of the parties that were thrown around town, the third party of the week, to be more exact. Thanks, Andrew Jacobs who had been kind enough to invite them. The parties from university students had been the best for Tom, whose popularity had increased after appearing on Civil War, and of course, after being cast as Spider-Man. He’d use that popularity to his advantage, and of course, he had been really busy each night. A new girl each night. 

He wasn’t always like that but the moment he saw that many girls were dying to be with him, he decided he simply liked that. It had started on a party with several girls gushing up to meet him, and after having a no so nice breakup, a rebound had been nice. But suddenly that rebound turned into more rebounds and so his life as a new casanova started. Being wanted was something nice, and he was definitely liking it so far. He came up with a rule, never the same girl twice in a week, and nothing more than a one night stand. The rule was simple, and he could easily follow it because, oh they were raining. Tom couldn’t complain, as if he would.

He had had a little too many shots that night, and after making out with a chick dressed as a character from Stranger Things, he decided it was time to gather on the first girl he had bumped into, two days before in yet another Halloween party. He knew he would score with her easily after he told her he had to go back to shoot Spider-Man homecoming. Her face had lit up and her room number had been written on a napkin, which Tom had saved for his own convenience, and he knew that night was the night, he was just across the room where she lived, so he might as well give it a try. So he just needed to look out for her, he expected her to be already in her room, waiting for him. She had told him she’d be dressed as a sexy nurse, and hell he would not pass up that opportunity.

He was going to go to the dorms to meet up with her,  they were just across the street, so as he walked out of the party there were many students on the street dressed up for Halloween, some of them were just laughing and spilling their drinks, most of them were making out. Tom laughed, amused at the situation, seeing that he had actually already gotten some of those girls numbers. He giggled to himself as he stared at the paper where the blurred writing was placed on. He walked in confidently to the dorms humming a song to himself as he kept looking for the room.

“246….246…And here it is,” he smirked as he reached for the key Rachel, the sexy nurse had given to him, he opened the bedroom door, the lights were off, and a girl was sitting on the desk, with headphones on, and head laying down on her book.

“Hello, hello, Rachel, Rachel?” He whispered as he smirked. He walked over and he reached her to kiss her neck, with his Spider-Man mask covering half his face  “Hey, hey, I’m here, baby,” he said in between kisses. 

She suddenly moved as she woke up turning her sight to him, she started to scream the moment she looked at him, he screamed back at her. 

“Bloody hell! Who are you? What the hell is going on?” She yelled. At that moment, Tom realized he had fucked up. The girl wasn’t Rachel. 

She grabbed the book on her desk and slammed it against Tom’s face, and then she reached over to her night table which had a bottle of perfume on it. She started spraying it at his face, spraying it entirely on his mouth, causing Tom to scream even more and stumble back to fall on her bed. He coughed from the perfume. 

“Ouch! My nose, my mouth! fu-” Tom yelled as he covered his face. “I can’t -blagh, ugh my-” he coughed. “Ugh.”

Her screaming didn’t cease. He took off the mask, as he looked at her, trying to cover himself. He stood back up and motioned her to calm down. She kept screaming. 

“You’re not-you’re not Rachel!” Tom yelled.

“Of course not! She’s my roommate!” The girl yelled at him. “How did you even get here?”

“She gave me the key!” Tom answered as he reached for his nose, and then lifted the key up to show her. 

“So that automatically made you think you can kiss her roommate’s neck?” 

“She said you wouldn’t be here! She said you’d probably be studying somewhere in the library because you’re a nerd!”

“I’m not a nerd!” The girl grabbed the pillow and threw it at Tom angrily.

“What the heck? What was that?” Tom asked, and she glanced over at the pillow and frowned. “No, the other..the gosh, my nose! What’s that taste?”

“One hundred years of solitude by Gabriel García Márquez,” the girl answered. “And… Chanel n°5”

Tom covered his nose as he stared at her, and finally, let out a chuckle.

-

4 minutes later, he had his head held back in the common room, where there were some students drinking coffee, or some others were studying, she made him tilt his head forward. “Are-are you sure this-”

“Shut-” She made him pinch his nostrils together to stop the bleeding.

“Ugh, next time I’ll see who I’m getting in bed with,” he said.

“And that would be so hard, wouldn’t it?” she rolled her eyes as she stood up and poured herself some coffee and then handed him a glass of water.

“Should be more careful, yes,” Tom conceited. “So, what’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Please,” she rolled her eyes at him, sitting back down beside him. “Don’t even try it.”

“What?” Tom faked innocence. “What could I possibly be trying?” He chuckled as he gave her an ironic smile, pressing the ice against his nose.

“Yeah, I know all about you, Tom Holland.” She crossed her arms watching him.

“You do, now?” Tom smirked, as he stopped pressing his nostrils. “Wikipedia doesn’t say all the truth, you know?” 

“Don’t, you’ll start bleeding,” she ordered and placed his hand back on his nose. “But I do, I know everything about you, I know exactly who you are.”

“You’re a fan?” He asked as he slid closer to her, making her roll her eyes.

“You’ve slept with half my floor,” she sentenced. 

“Well, could’ve slept with more, but you don’t seem interested and well, your roommate wasn’t where she was supposed to be,” Tom chuckled.

“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes. “Rachel did tell me about you, and how excited she was Spider-Man was coming to the party, which honestly, I don’t see the deal with it.”

“Ah, but I am Spider-Man, and who wouldn’t want to be with Spider-Man?” He raised an eyebrow. “Shit, your book did hurt me.”

“Great, that’ll teach you on not kissing random girls without their consent..”

“Hey, hey, you can’t blame me,” Tom teased with a laugh. “Your roommate, she was dressed as a nurse today, and well… you’re not, I mean she was …she was showing way more skin than you.”

“I’m a decent girl,” she nudged him.

“A very feisty one,” Tom giggled. “So, now, please, you say you know me.”

“Yeah, you’re an actor who suddenly got his career launched and now, obviously uses that to sleep with women, but in reality, you’re actually pretty lonely and you’re using your fame to get back for all those years when you were rejected. You’re overwhelmed by all the attention.”

Tom stared at her, she could’ve left by now, yet she hadn’t. “Uh…huh, yeah that ain’t me,” Tom rolled his eyes but then gave her a small innocent smile. “I’m a nice boy.”

“Of course you are,” she threw her head back. “You’re the worst type of players, you’re one of them” she laughed at his confused expression. “You’re the kind who actually falls in love, don’t you?”

Tom bit his lip with a smirk, she did have him all figured out. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You play the nice boy who falls in love, and gives off that prince charming vibe, and then in the morning you leave, saying you won’t be able to have your heart broken by them, and making them feel guilty as if they had used you instead of them.”

“I do get my heartbroken,” he defended himself.

“All of this is new right? All the attention, and you can’t get enough, bet you were the skinny weird kid.”

“Getting too personal, are we?” Tom frowned.

“I’ve got my loads of guys like you.” She shrugged. “Know all your games.”

“Really? With actors?” Tom laughed in disbelief.

The girl stared at him as she shook her head. “No, but with kids who suddenly got shredded, and suddenly found out they were attractive.”

“Am I attractive?” Tom blinked bashfully at her. She turned herself completely to him, as she watched him curiously as she sipped her coffee, taking in his features.

“Not really my type, no,” She snickered.

“Yet you’ve said you’ve had a load of guys like me,” he gave her the cockiest of smirks.

“None of them were Tom Holland,” she winked at him.

“Exactly, none of them were Spider-Man,” Tom pointed out as he winked at her.

“Hm, guess not,” she chuckled. “I’ll try to get your game, you probably first play the shy guy, probably, no, it depends on the girl, you’re an actor so you see what works with each girl, but bet you tell all of them that you’ve met RDJ,” she watched him carefully, as he ran a hand through his hair. “Ah you do that with the hair, and then give, there you are! The puppy eyes,” she smiled pleased with herself, as Tom’s eyes widened. “You lick your lips and always raise your arms to show out your muscles, huh?”

Tom felt naked with her, she knew what he was doing. “I mean,” Tom puffed his chest. “All guys… do that.”

“Could be, but okay, you probably talk about your time on set, and how you are so excited to be playing such an iconic role that Spider-Man is.”

Tom blinked as she kept talking, she was pulling her hair back in a ponytail, and she had her eyes lightly covered by dark circles, probably from all the late-night studying. He felt like such an idiot as he was getting his imagination go wild. 

“Hm, it is an iconic role,” he defended himself, coughing, as he ignored his cheeks going red.

“Yeah, gotta give that to you, I’m a Marvel fan, so yeah, you did a good job so far, I mean we’ve only seen you in Civil War and I guess that was decent,” she shrugged, trying to sound as careless as she could. “But, we are not talking about that.”

Tom felt his confidence back on track: if she was a marvel fan he could easily use that in his favour. She was definitely a girl he would love to score with, maybe it was a tough task, but he was determined. It was interesting, he knew that with this girl his usual flirting style wouldn’t work. Yeah, she wouldn’t fall for the nice boy vibe so maybe the whole douchebag style could work on her. Or maybe not. He could play the guy who doesn’t actually want anything with her and then make her beg. 

But it couldn’t work either.

“So, you like Marvel?” He asked her. 

“I love marvel,” she admitted. 

“Who’s your favourite superhero?” He pushed. 

She didn’t answer and turned away to drink her coffee, cheeks getting red. 

“Noooo!” Tom couldn’t believe it. “is it Spider-Man?” He laughed as she rolled her eyes.

“But I’ve liked him since younger,” she defended herself. “Look, Peter Parker is such a great character because he’s a smart broke boy from Queens, he is so real and Spider-Man, you never know who could be under the mask, and he just tries his best! He is so pure, and he just wants to save people because he is a good person, you know? No one rewards him, he just truly wants to help…And I’m so, wow… I love him. ”

Tom nodded in agreement, as he bit his lip giggling. She turned to him and nudged him.

“Woah, no, I meant the character,” she rolled her eyes. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

“C’mon, wouldn’t someone like you be interested to hook up with Spider-Man?” Tom asked again. “It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. You could write about that.” 

She laughed as she shook her head. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she stared at him. “You’re actually hitting on me? After all I’ve said to you?”

“No, I’m not,” Tom smirked as he watched her. “You see I’ve got you all figured out as well.”

“Oh,” she scoffed. “Do tell me, please.” 

“You’re a future writer, you’re studying literature or something, right? Top of your class, are we?” Tom inquired. “I bet you’ve read hundreds of books and you like writing poems in your free time.”

She bit her lip as she looked away. Tom snapped his fingers.

“Bingo!” Tom cheered. “You’re the typical girl who is different than any other girl, who brings all that bullshit of not caring and always has this sense of being mysterious and that’s why she judges other girls for being at parties.”

She shook her head as she stuck her tongue out. “Wrong. I’m a feminist, I wanna be a journalist or a writer, I don’t judge other people, I believe that we’re all allowed to party, I’m not a mystery, I’m an open book, I do care, a lot, about a lot of things I just happen not to care about you, and I’m not at a party tonight because I have a big exam coming tomorrow, in fact, I should be studying right now.” 

“You were a prodigy child, weren’t you?” Tom concluded.

“I wouldn’t say-“

“You were, you probably were part of the school newspaper,” Tom interrupted her and chuckled. “But hey, you’ve got class, you’re a refined girl. You basically are the reincarnation of elegance.”

“Refined, elegance, huh?” The girl giggled, taking a chance to stare into his eyes, only for him to notice hers. They were really pretty. In every possible way she was beautiful, but she was smart and that made her way out of his league. Maybe if he tried to play the guy who wasn’t understood.

“Yes, I mean, you did spray me with Channel NO°5,” he laughed.

“It’s pronounced Chanel,” she corrected him, making him feel a fire igniting. He gave her a corny smile.

“So you’re smart, elegant, you like superheroes and on top of that,…you’re pretty? You’re the whole deal,” Tom admitted, she shrugged as she blushed. And he almost had her wrapped around his finger, even if she kept giving him the cold look, he could be sure that she was into him. “What’s your flaw? That’s it! you’re boring!”

And he screwed it up.

“Excuse me?” The girl frowned offended, as she stood up. He realized it then, she was actually making it hard for him, she was giving him a chance to try. And he had blown it up. “Goodnight, Holland, good luck with that nose.”

“No, wait, I’m joking! I’m joking,” Tom called out for her and pulled her back from her arm, receiving a stern look from her. “I was kidding you don’t seem like the boring type.”

“I’m not,” she agreed. “I actually have an amazing sense of humour.”

“Ah, do you now?” Tom laughed. “Okay, let me start over.”

“Honestly, I have to sleep or read,” she said, and Tom chuckled.

“Really? And why haven’t you left already?” Tom inquired as he slid closer and trying to lean against her, but she stood up walked over to the other couch. Tom fell flat on the sofa as he scowled.

“Oh, I assumed you were going to look out for my roommate and I really don’t want to be near my room when that happens, so please just stay on her side of the room and don’t touch any of my stuff,” she warned him.

“Ah, I won’t sleep with her,” Tom answered.

“You won’t?” The girl rolled her eyes, and she picked up her book. “Well, your problem.”

“I wanna stay here and talk to you,” Tom declared as he stood up to look out for food in the room, he was sobering up and he had become extremely hungry. He realized there was a box of cookies so he plopped back on the couch, throwing them into his mouth.

“Told you it won’t work with me,” she said as she had her eyes glued on her book.

“I know that,” Tom walked over and sat on the armrest of the couch. “You haven’t got the look.”

The girl frowned as she looked up at him, closing her book. “The look?”

“Uh-huh, the doggy bowl look,” Tom took her by the chin and she slapped his hand off, making Tom giggle.

“Did you just call me a dog?”

“It’s a theory.”

“Do all fuckboys have theories?” The girl rolled her eyes as she changed back to the original sofa, Tom followed her.

“We do, we go to a course, just like all of you different girls go to that class where they tell you how to destroy a man’s feelings.”

“Oh, I graduated with honours from that class,” she smirked playfully.

“So you do have a sense of humour,” Tom laughed. “Well m’lady that course is paying off.”

“Glad it did,” she poked him. “So what’s that theory?”

“You see when a girl actually likes a guy, she has a look. It’s her tell, like…. poker!”

“Poker.”

“Yeah, and it’s exactly the same face a dog makes when you put down the bowl!”

“You’re disgusting,” she told him. Some other girls had walked into the common room and started whispering to each other, as they giggled while watching Tom, he winked at them causing them to blush and snicker.

“See? See that look?” Tom pointed when they left. “You don’t have the look.”

“You’re crazy,” she roared standing up, picking her book.

Tom chuckled watching her, “I’m honest, I like honesty, I think it’s the best quality.”

She started to walk away but stopped to turn around and glare at him.

“Oh, so you want me to be honest with you?” She crossed her arms with her book in her hands.

“Go on,” he smirked. “Destroy me, why can’t I physically  appeal to you?”

“Your nose is bent,” she pointed to her own nose, and wrinkled it. “it drops down at the bottom, a feature accentuated by the thinness of your lips, you have tiny eyes and they are way too far apart, your eyebrows look weird, and your hair… huh, your hair ain’t that bad but it won’t cover your bent nose,” she poked his nose. “And you are so desperate for attention from being so lonely that you validate yourself by having sport like meaningless, insatiable sex with insecure girls like Rachel who only want to be with you so they can say they slept with a celebrity,” she started to walk away. “and you’re right, I don’t have the look, I’d never have sex with someone like you.”

She walked away from the common room and Tom grinned following her.

“Wow!” He said with excitement as he ran after. “That was amazing!”

“What?” She scowled.

“The honesty, the feisty being it was even better than the sex without uh, the crying you know?”

“Huh, funny it did feel pretty good,” she chuckled as she turned confused to the boy who actually seemed pleased with himself.

“It was incredible,” Tom agreed. “No one’s ever been that honest with me.”

“That’s what friends are for,” she winked at him.

“So you know my name, what’s yours?” He asked her.

“Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N,” she chuckled as they arrived at her dorm.

“Ya know,” Tom looked at her. “Give me your number.” Y/N stared at him with a frown. “I won’t try anything I genuinely want to be friends with you.”

“I just destroyed you as a person,” y/n scoffed.

“Sounds like an ideal friend,” he grinned as he handed his phone over. She hesitated but ended up giving it to him, he tried to steal her phone from her hands. “Now I’ll give you mine so you know who’s texting.”

She unlocked it and she gave it to him, he added himself and took a silly selfie to add it to his contact.

“Goodnight,” y/n said, as he reached up for her chin, making her look at up. “Your hand is clammy.”

“I can see through your blouse,” he snapped with arrogance.

“I’m wearing a hoodie, so no, you can’t,” she informed him.

“I hate you,” he joked, she ended up laughing before opening her bedroom door, to reveal a very drunk Rachel, laying down on her bed.

“He-eeey Tom!” she sat up the moment she heard the door open, her voice sounded particularly dizzy. “Can you…” her talking was dragged. “Can you like… show me your set pictures with Chris Evans… and hic, R… D…J?”

Y/N sighed as she patted him on the back. “All yours, Parker.” Y/N left with a smirk.

Tom blinked watching the woman, whose cleavage was showing a bit more than desired. “Tommy?”

Tom watched the girl puke on a nearby trash can and Tom wrinkled his nose. “Get some sleep, Rachel.” He closed the door before running after Y/N. “Hey, where you heading to?”

Y/N frowned as she watched him. “I am a nerd, so I’m heading to the campus library to read.”

“Huh, but aren’t you hungry? It’s on me.” Tom looked at her as she watched him with hesitation. “Not as a date.”

“Well, what in this world is open at 4 am?” She laughed.“But yeah, haven’t eaten anything since the morning. Whatcha have in mind, Spidey?”

“I know this milkshake place.”

Tom smirked, no he hadn’t scored with a girl that night, but he had gotten something better. The best friend he could ever ask for.

teaser

next chapter

series masterlist

wanna be tagged?

i stole this tag list from another fic tell me if you don’t wanna be tagged lol sorry

tag list @laureharrier @lovelyh0lland @typicaltrashbagg @nano-hero @paradoxparker @its-tchalla @butwhyduh    @clairesrainbow  @desirableprey @fairydustparker @newlove-neweverything @ymeradonnadx @underoosmarvel @tomhollandlovebot @its-the-unknownspidey @savethebabyseals @hermionedeservesbetterthanron @quitetommyy @tomhaz @wronglanemendes  @itsvianny @lovestrucktom  @jake-and-amy-are-married @starlightfound @tiredfeels @thespiderdweeb  @kill-the-stereo @thequeensardine @originalpinkpowerranger @lavenderholland @anxiousdesignerdancerbandlover @organicpurplepants @happywolves81  @nedthegay @skylar-mendes  @emma-worthington @redwhitenbucky @cartiertom  @elefthavraam   @sentimentalquackson  @savannah0111 @vibhati123 @imagine-that-100 @lunagreenwood @hollandhearts @bluparis @badhollandfluff @myspideysensesrtingling @spidermansmj14 @soccerstud004 @marinaabernardii @applenter @silver-winter-wolf  @spiderboytotherescue  @dark-infernal-instruments @claredolphinbear24 @bookgirlunicorn  @tomshufflepuff @avengersgirllorianna @harringtonsbaseballbat @saintlavrents @herofiennestiffinashardinscott.  @almostrosadiazz @tonystark-mcu @tomzfrog @tohollandback @morganhoran1671 @awkwardfangirl2014 @spideysimpossiblegirl  @everythingbooknerd @captainbuckyy  @xapham @parkerswebhead @afilmbypeterparkr @xxtomxo @gioandreolli @tomhollandisagod @danicarosaline @laurfangirl424 @vintageroses1014516 @cinnamon-roll-peter   @the-lost-fairy-tale @lala-florez @fufaation15 @healthyassdonut   @laurfangirl424 @ilcveyou3000 @xxtomxo @socorroann @muffinmari25   @cassindeansass  @rogers-obsessed-barnes-curious @southsidespidey @nathaliabakes @hollandslut @marvelstuck @embrace-themagic @sanniegirl1214 @gioandreolli

[jokerfan99]

'Friendly' Reunion by Necroceph

*RVB Opening Theme*

In the mess room, at Blue Base

Now that's a hand! Tucker thought to himself. Four kings and an ace. He's on a winning streak and had just won another of Kai's little 'toy' collection and Caboose's Master Chief 3: The Sang-Man movie disk. He turns his eyes away from the cards and to his opponents. Behind those visors, must be faces riddled with worriedness and fear. He could even hear Kai breathing heavily through that helmet. Confident to win this again, he raises.

Tucker: Raise!

He grabs something from beneath the table and puts it on the table next to his other pile of stuff he has betted none has yet to win. First his stash of porn, his XBOX 1000 and now a rocket launcher aka the SPNKR.

Tucker: Behold the SPNKR! Now who has the balls to beat Tucker The Undefeatable! Kakaina: No fair! I've only got a few stuff left to raise with! Caboose: And I'm running out of Master Chief movies! Tucker: Well you could just give up and walk away. As they say, there's no shame of losing. Kakaina: Ohho I'm not walking away! How about this, I'll bet you... for ME! Weiss: My God, woman. Don't you have any dignity in you?

All players turned to see Weiss standing by the doorway.

Caboose: Hi, Weiss! We're just playing poker. Wanna play? Weiss: Ugh, poker? Why of all games would you all be playing something that involves wasting all of your earnings? Tucker: We're not betting with money, we're betting our stuff. Kakaina: Yeah and this asshole took all of my toys! Weiss: I don't want to think about that. Anyways, stop playing and head upstairs! Tucker: Why? We're heading to the good part. Alright you two, prepare to face the wrath of my hand! Weiss: Our 'friends' from Red base are at our doorstep you dope! We- Tucker: SHH!!! No talking please. Alright you two, prepare to face the wrath of my hand! Kakaina: Bring it!

Tucker reveals his four kings. Kai reveals two pairs, eights and nines. And Caboose... does not reveal his yet for whatever reason.

Kakaina: NOOOOO!!!! Tucker: Fuck yes! Make sure you wear something nice tonight! Caboose, show us yours. Caboose: Uhm, Tucker, can I ask you something? Tucker: Shoot. Caboose: If I win, does that mean I can have all your stuff here? Tucker: That's right, if you can. Muahaha! Caboose: Okay!

Caboose finally revealed his hand. Tucker was about to laugh in victory, but instead he gasped in horror once he witnessed Caboose's hand. A straight flush! One of the few hands that can beat four kings. The Teal One drops his head onto the table in great defeat. Tucker's stash is now Caboose's!

Caboose: Hooray! Tucker: NOOOOO!!!! Kakaina: Pfft HAHAHAHAHAHA! Looks like the 'Undefeated' just got his ass defeated! Haha! Tucker: Not my yearly porn stash! Weiss: Hehehe... ahem! Now that you're all done playing, can we get back to the matter at hand? Caboose: C'mon, Tucker. Let's go see what my brother and his friends want. Tucker: I don't wanna... sob! Kakaina: Oh don't be such a baby!

Outside the Blue Base.

Sarge: First my markswoman's rifle, NOW MY WARTHOG? Your Blue existence disgust me! Church: Well sorry, I've must've mistaken it for a trash disposal truck cause uh... it kinda look like one. HA! Sarge: Why you dirtbag... Ruby: You're such a nasty bunch! Simmons: Yeah and it took us four hours to get the smell off! Lopez: ¡Y otros seis para limpiar el motor!

Church is in the middle of argument with the entire Red team below him. Last night, Church pulled off a prank by throwing all of the base's trash on the warthog with the help of Caboose. The results of the Reds' reaction were, shall we say, astounding. Footsteps behind him caught his attention, it's about time Weiss got the whole team up here. Weiss approaches Church to ask about the situation as she puts on her helmet.

Weiss: What's the enemy's status? Church: Still pissed off.

Church points Weiss at the entire Red team below them. She looked down to see Grif and Simmons fully armed to the teeth with flamethrowers. Though what caught most of her attention is the Red with the red cape around his neck. Must be their sniper Church talked about. The one that trashed the base weeks ago. The way he's wearing that cape kinda reminded Weiss of 'her'. But that's not important right now.

Weiss: I see you brought enough firepower to bring this place to ruin again. Now what do you want? Sarge: We're here to have payback, not a tea party! If you don't come down here like real soldiers, we'll teach you with these fully customized fuel propalled flamethrowers filled with a special sauce me and the boys have cooked up. Delicious! Donut: And I even took the liberty to add a bit of 'pizzazz' on it. Weiss: Flamethrowers? I hate to break it to you, but 90% of this whole place is comprised of concrete and steel. How are you going to burn it down? Grif: Who says we're going to burn your place up? Simmons.

Grif and Simmons approach the old tank. Once their flamethrowers are at a proper range, they both pull the triggers. But instead of fire spewing out the muzzle, an unknown green substance is sprayed onto the tank.

Tucker: Paint? Yeah right, we can just wipe it off! Simmons:You might wanna turn your air filtration off. Blues: Uhm... okay?

The Blues raise their hands next to their helmets and push a small button at the side. Suddenly, a horrifying pungent smell stang their noses, burning up their senses. They all started coughing up and spitting as if they smelled something horrible before pushing the button again, turning their air filtration back on.

Weiss: BLAGH! Kakaina: My nose is FIRE! Caboose: YUCKY! Tucker: PFT! PFT! PFT! Oh my God, why did I spit in my helmet?! Church: YUCK! Jesus Christ that smelled horrible! What the hell is that stuff?! Simmons: Our 'special sauce'. A formula made out of your trash, rotten cheese, excrement, sweat from Grif's socks, the local plantlife, local alien skunk, all the smelly things one can expect to find around here. Grif: How's it feel to have a stench much worse your trash! Ruby: The process was digusting but it's worth it. Church: But... PFT... we can still wash it off... PFT... YUCK! Grif: Good luck with that! This smell will stick on you for weeks, possibly months! Sarge: Ready... aim... FI-

BANG!

Out of the blue, two bullets flew straight into Grif and Simmons' flamethrower canisters before big gasses of green smoke disperses into the air. The stink formula has been released! Ruby yelps and runs away from the stink gas as it engulfs her entire team, thankfully it hadn't touch her. The rest of the Red team on the other hand. Once it disappears, all five of them are covered in the smelly substance, now colored in a hint of green! EWW!

Weiss: Try washing that off, idiots! Ruby: Oh dear. Simmons: AAAHHHHHHH!!! IT'S ON US! IT'S ON US! THE CONTAMINATION!!! Grif: Well... shit. Donut: EWW EWW! I just mosturize myself! Lopez: ¿Por qué te estás volviendo loco? Es solo ... oh espera, cierto. No puedo oler Sarge: Damn you, Blues! You can shoot us, stab us, and mock us all you want, but you can never, EVER, sullied us like this! Except for you, Grif. Grif: Hey! Weiss: Using a substance for the purpose to sting your enemies' sense of smell is a terrible idea for chemical warfare. We have helmets, remember? Ruby: That's no way to treat my friends! Weiss: Excuse me, are you talking to me Red? Ruby: Yeah I'm talking to you... uhm... big meanie! How can you call yourself a soldier by sitting up there and mocking your opponents like a coward! Weiss: A coward?! Now you listen here...

Weiss turns to Church

Weiss: What's her name again? Church: Uhm... Rebec... Rebecca. Tucker: It's not Rebecca, it's Raina! I think. Caboose: RUH-ROH! Weiss: How can you guys forget a name? You all said you heard it! Kakaina: Not me, I was hanging out with a bunch of ODST guys that time. Man they were fun! Weiss: You disgust me. Church: It's been two fucking week! You can't expect us to memorize it everyday! Plus you interrogated Grif and Simmons, didn't they tell you? Caboose: Oh they didn't. They were too busy shivering in fear cause Weiss was always screaming at them. Weiss: Sigh. Follow me, all of you.

Weiss jumps down with the rest Blues following her and drops on the dirt in front of the Red team. Weiss the approaches the Red in the usual angry manner. While she gets mocked and teased all the time, she however does not tolerated being called a coward, even if it were by her own teammates.

Weiss: Now you listen to me very closely! I still don't forgive for what you did to my base. But you do not, DO NOT, mock my position as a soldier! Ruby: Look I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, I'm just saying that you shouldn't act like an 'ice queen' all the time. Simmons: Not only that, you're mentally unstable! Grif: Plus your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard! Weiss: What?! My voice does not sound like that! Am I right guys? Church: With the exception of your singing. Caboose: That's always the good part! Tucker: HOOWEE! It's like hearing a thousand sexy angels coming down to hook up with me. Weiss: Thank you. Grif: Wait that was you singing that night? I thought you guys were listening to Casey Lee! Church: That was her singing Casey Lee, dumbass.

The talk between the teams gets silenced by the blast of Sarge's shotgun to the sky.

Sarge: We're here to fight! And these dirty Blues need to pay dearly for what they've done to us! Church: If you so much as touch us with that stench, I'll blast your head off! Sarge: You think me and my man would fight you in this disgusting state? Simmons: We're giving up? Sir, that ain't like you! Sarge: Of course not. But they'll be fighting... her!

Sarge points to Ruby who startswaving her hand friendly at the Blues.

Ruby: Hi!

The PTSD kicked in. Church, Tucker and Caboose gulped their throats and slowly moves away to the base's door. After what she did to the base, she's a force to be feared of in this canyon.

Weiss: Where are you guys going? She's just one Red! Church: Didn't you hear of what we told you? She's a MONSTER! Tucker: And a hot one too! Church: If you had been here, you could've seen how terrifying this bitch is! I mean look at those eyes!

A shot of Ruby's visor cueing the *Suspenseful stinger music*

RubyL What? Weiss: And I thought you all to be brave reliable soldiers, not a trio of cowardly conscripts. Oh wait, no offense. C'mon Kai, let's show her how the Blue army deals with Reds. Kakaina: Nah, I'm cool. Weiss: What?! Don't tell me you're scared too? Kakaina: Nah, I kinda feel two-on-one isn't a fair fight at all. It's just doesn't fit my 'code of honor'. Tucker: ... She'll only do it when it comes to having sex with hot babes. Kakaina: Her body is considered fuckable! Weiss: Ugh. Fine then, one on one it is! Sarge: That's the spirit! So what will it be? I suggest hand-to-hand combat! Ruby: Uhm, Sarge. I'm bad at close quarter combat, remember? Sarge: Oh right. Hmm, let's see. Aha! How about, Grif ball! Grif: There's only two players. Sarge: Dagnabbit! Sniper duel! Simmons: We're out of 14.5x114mm rounds, sir. Maybe the Blues can share- Church: Good luck with that. Your monster destroyed half our ammo supply, including all the sniper rounds! Sarge: Wrestling match? Donut: We don't have a wrestling ring. Tucker: And tight bikinis.

Everyone, mostly Ruby and Weiss, yells various comments of disgust at Tucker.

Tucker: Oh come on, don't female wrestlers wear that? Kakaina: Not in your "wrestling". Weiss: Hold on everyone! I think I know a good old fashion way can resolve this problem. Get two pistols!

The Reds and Blues gathered together at the middle of the field where the 'old traditional way' will take place. That is the old 19th century pistol duels. Sarge clears his throat before making an announcement to both teams.

Sarge: The rules are simple. Both opponents will only have one shot in their pistols. On a count of three, they must walk away from each other, back to back and after they finish ten paces of walking, they'll turn around and start shooting each other in the faces! Which I think we have a higher chance of winning. Ruby: You're too kind! Sarge" The first one able to shoot their opponent, be it knocking, injuring or killing them, will be declared the winner! Oh and there's a catch, both duelist must turn off their armors' energy shielding. If Red wins, the Blues will have no choice but to cover themselves and their base with the stink formula. A proper punishment for the Blues, buahaha! Church: And if we win, you'll have to cover your base with that shit too. Simmons: Wait a minute, does that include the interior? Church and Sarge: Yes. Donut: I just painted a new layer in my room! Oh, for God's sake, please win! Ruby: Don't worry Donut. I can shoot this jerk on the face with both my eyes close. Grif: Please don't do that. Sarge: One more thing. If both duelist missed their target, we'll have to restart the round again! Seconds, prepare your duelist!

Both teams prepare their duelist. As Caboose and Tucker get the M6 pistol ready and loaded, Church discuss Weiss about her plan to beat her Red adversary.

Church: So what's your plan? Weiss: Even with both our energy shieldings off, the armor will still protect me from 50 Magnum caliber rounds. Same with the helmet's visor, though it'll get a nasty crack. That's the good news. Church: The bad news? Weiss: The unarmored parts of my body are still exposed, mostly the neck area. If she shoots me at the neck, the shockwave of the round will rupture my jugular vein, killing me in an instant. Church: Can't you deflect bullets with your glyphs? Weiss: She'll see it the moment I summon it. You did say she's a sharpshooter right? It'd best not to underestimate her, just like last time. Church: What do you mean 'last time'?

Weiss kept quiet for a while before responding back.

Weiss: Best to keep it that way.

At the Red's place, Sarge discuss Ruby about her plan to beat the Blue menace.

Sarge: My best guess is the neck! The face is a good target but the helmet will still protect that dirty smirk of hers. Ruby: Nah too gruesome. Ooh! What about the arm? You said we can win by injuring them, right? Sarge: That's your decision, as long as I hear that Blue screaming. Grif: This is stupid! Sarge: I beg your pardon? Grif: Isn't this 'pistol duel' stuff old school? The last idea was a lot better. Ruby: EWW! Not you too! Donut: Hey at least they wear clothes in this! Lopez: Además, nadie tiene que masturbarse en secreto en este caso. Simmons: Okay everyone, the gun's lock and loaded. Sarge: Great! Now give her a good Texan payback!

Simmons hands the pistol to Ruby. With both duelist ready, they approach to one another with the pistols in their hands. Their teammates keep their distance away, leaving them alone to their pistol duel. Just when the match is about to start, Ruby raises her hand to Weiss as if to give out a handshake which in fact she does wants to. Weiss is confused of this.

Weiss: What are you doing? Ruby: Just in case if you shoot me first. Weiss: Why would I shake a Red's hand? Plus didn't you destroy my base week ago? Ruby: Yeah about that. Sorry. I wasn't able to control myself, but I'vefinally learned my lesson. Weiss: 'Sorry' isn't enough. And let's not forget the fact that we're still enemies. Ruby: But that doesn't mean we have to be 'real' enemies.  Even if we're here to kill each other, we should at least act like good duelists. Weiss: Well that's true. It would be impolite to refuse a handshake, even from an enemy.

Weiss accepts the handshakes. But once she touches the hand, it felt as though she once touched this hand before. Ruby had the same reaction when she touches hers too.

Ruby: That kinda felt weird. Weiss: Yeah. Before we can shoot each other, what's your name? Ruby: My name is- Sarge: Alright you two! Let's get this started! Ruby: Later. My leader's a bit impatient. Weiss: Same here. My team can't wait for your blood to be spilled. Maybe if we survive, we might talk a little. Ruby: GASP! Does that mean we can be friends! Weiss: No.

Ruby and Weiss turn each others backs, ready to start the duel. Sarge begins the countdown.

Sarge: One Mississipi... two Mississipi... THREE MISSISSIPI!!! Start walking!

Both of them started walking. Ruby counts the paces silently while Weiss counts them in her mind. One... two... three... four... five... It's almost close, Ruby thought. Even if she just had a friendly chat, she has to remember that's the Blue's her opponent and she's here to kill her. She must do the same. In order to win this, she'll need to think of her opponent's face as her's, her damn fucking face, that way she'll be able to pull the trigger! Six... seven... eight... Weiss tell herself that she can do this. Though confident, she was furious to witness the cape the Red's wearing because it reminds it of someone she knew. But she stays cool and reminds herself of the duel. Nine... ten...

RUBY AND WEISS TURNS AROUND AND BOTH PULL THE TRIGGERS SIMULTANEOUSLY!

BANG!!!

Both fell onto the ground. Red and Blue rush to their respective team members. They take a look at them, and noticed both their visors helmets' have entirely been cracked. Sarge is horrified to see his favourite soldier seemingly lying dead on the ground. Despite being covered in shit, he hold her body in his arms, before crying out in grief.

Sarge: NOOOOOO!!! Don't you die on me! You still haven't gotten next week's promotion for destroying the Blue base! Simmons: Wait isn't next week my promotion? Sarge: It's been rescheduled. Talk to me! SPEAK TO ME! Grif: Huh, guess she's dead. Welp, off to get the shovels. Ruby: Ow... (muffled) Sarge: Scratch that, she's alive! Thank the Lord himself! Grif: Fuck. Donut: Ruby, are you okay? Ruby: I've... been through worse. Ow! (muffled) Donut: Uhm... come again?

The Blue's reaction on the other hand, wasn't as dramatic as the Reds.

Caboose: Are you okay?! How big is the boo-boo? Weiss: Just a minor bruise, that's all. Nothing to worry about. A little help? (muffled) Caboose: ... Church, I think I'm deaf. Church: You're not deaf! Something's wrong with her helmet!

He's right. The visors have gone yellow to black, same with the Red's. The HUD's memory card slot isn't emitting any light, indicating no electricity in there. The helmets have gone dark! Weiss tries to take it off, but the helmet is locked onto her undersuit's fabric nmagnetic locks.

Weiss: Church, what's going on? I can't take it off! (muffled) Church: Calm down. Your helmet must've been damaged. Weiss: What? (muffled) Church: I said your helmet's damaged! Weiss: Oh, what? Damn it, speak up! (muffled) Church: YOUR... HELMET'S... DAMAGED! Weiss: ... Church ... Weiss: Then why didn't you say so? Get this thing off me! (muffled) Church: What? Weiss: Get this thing off me! (muffled) Church: Shit, now I can't hear her. Caboose, help me out!

Church and Caboose grab the side of Weiss' helmet.

Church: Heave ho!

They pulled it together and successfully removed the damn thing on Weiss with the sound of a pop. Weiss heavily breathes in the air around her. Wearing that unfunctional helmet almost gave her an asphyxiation.

Church: You okay? Weiss: Next time... I'm buying a new helmet. What about the Red, is she dead? Church: Well... you're not the only one with a stuck helmet. Weiss: You've gotta be joking.

The Blues witness the Reds attempting to remove their recruit's helmet. They're having a hard time. Four of the Reds are trying to pull the helmet off as Ruby tries to push it. Lopez also helps them, prying it off with a crowbar on the back of her neck. With one last heave, the helmet finally came off. Ruby breathes in and out like a fish in a water.

Ruby: Oh sweet cool air! Sarge: How are you feeling? Ruby: Fine!

As she recovers, she noticed Weiss, now helmetless approaching her. She must've had the same problem as she did. And the other news, her opponent's hand is unscathed. Oh no, she thought to herself. She has hesitated again. Oh well, she can try again in round two.

Weiss: I'm impressed. I expect you to shoot me by the neck. Ruby: Yeah, I got a little hesistant that time. If I were thinking of someone I would have... easily... shoot... you? Weiss: Well try not too this time. Come on let's start the... next... round... oh my God.

Upon seeing each other's face, the world felt into a silence. Even the rest of the Reds and Blues didn't mutter a word when they noticed their teammates making a godly shocked expressions at one another.

Caboose: Ooh! Are we playing the quiet game? I love playing this!

Well except for Caboose, that is.

Weiss: R-Ruby? Ruby: W-W-Weiss? Weiss: What are you...? Ruby: What are you...?

They kissed. WROOOONG!!! Both girls smash their heads together like two mountain goats. They start growling at each other with wrathful looks forming on their faces and their eyes that are making contact with each other are filled with extreme hostility! As if you eyes were being deceived, their bodies begin to glow bright.

Weiss: What are you doing here YOU UNDISCIPLINED BRAT!!! Ruby: And what are you doing here YOU BACKSTABBING JERK!!! Everybody: Hah? Huh? Wha?

Reds and Blues are completely confused if what they're seeing right now. Just now they were dueling each other like gentlewomen, and now they're growling at each other like rabid dogs! Not only that, THEY KNOW EACH OTHER?!?!

Grif: Okay can anyone explain what the fuck's happening? Kakaina: Do... they know each other? Tucker: I think they do. Caboose: Wow, Church! Weiss has a best friend! Church: Had. I doubt they're friends, right now. Simmons: Sir, what do we do? Sarge: Nothing! I wanna see how this goes!

Back to Ruby and Weiss.

Weiss: It's no wonder why that cape and touch felt so familiar! IT WAS YOU!!! Of all the thousand planets in the galaxy, I've been deployed here only to see YOU HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A BOX CANYON WITH THE RED ARMY!!! Ruby: I expected to be away from you, FOREVER AND EVER! Until you showed your EGOISTIC COWARDLY FACE OF YOURS HERE!!! Weiss: I AM NOT EGOISTIC AND COWARDLY! I was ordered to move! Ruby: 'CAUSE YOU CARE ONLY FOR YOUR CAREER MORE THAN YOUR BEST FRIENDS! Weiss: AND YOU FAILED TO CARRIED OUT YOUR ORDERS! IT WOULD'VE ENDED DIFFERENTLY IF YOU HAD LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAID, YOU SCYTHE SWINGING BITCH! Ruby: Boohoo! Daddy, a peasent girl like me is being bullied by a mean Ms. Rich Gal! Weiss: Is that an INSULT?! Ruby: As a matter of fact, YES!

Weiss had enough, she punches Ruby right at the nose with blood spewing the nostrils! Despite the tears flowing and nose bleeding, Ruby quickly recovered and give Weiss a nasty uppercut to the chin! Then they grabbed each other, trying to pin the other to the ground, but they were equally matched and none had yet bring the other down. This is starting to become pure entertainment for Reds and Blues, mostly Sarge and Tucker. Been a while since Tucker had last saw a good catfight.

Tucker: That's right Weiss baby! Keep them fists flying! Sarge: Don't let that dirty albino Blue pin you down! Swing the legs, the legs! Grif: Wow, this is a lot better then the last duel! I'm betting for the white haired chick. Tucker: The brunette! Kaikaina: Red haired chick! Caboose: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Some however were not so keen to seeing this fight.

Church: Should we stop them? Donut: Of course! Ruby's going to get herself killed! Church: Why worry? She launched a one man war on our base, I guess she'll be fine. Simmons: What about your recruit? Church: Good point. But I'm not going near that psychopath! Lopez: ¿Qué tal si agarramos a Ruby primero y luego obtendrás el tuyo? Simmons: How about we grab Ruby first, and then you'll get yours? Church: Good idea. Lopez: Eso es exactamente lo que acabo de decir.

Simmons and Donut, quickly grabs her before she could bite Weiss' throat off. Despite two men holding her, they couldn't hold their grip as she violently tries to wriggle off them to finish her business with her "friend". Thankfully, Lopez was around and restrains her with his mechanical strength.

Ruby: Let go of me! She's EVIL INCARNATE! Donut: Please, Ruby, control yourself! Ruby: You don't understand she... left... sniff sniff... hehehe...

Ruby forget she's not wearing her helmet anymore, thus leaving her nose vunerable to her team's smelly state, causing her to barf out her breakfast.

Grif: That solves our problem!

Seeing the oppurtunity, Weiss charges at her unconscious enemy, but was stopped once Church grabs her shoulders.

Weiss: Let go off ME! Church: Calm down will you! Weiss: I WILL NOT... sniff... oh no... UGH!...

Weiss too have fallen victim to the Red's stink formula, fainting on Church's chest. The Blues sighed in relief. Church hands Weiss to Caboose and carries her unconscious body on his shoulder. The Reds and Blues then looked at each other for a while. With Ruby and Weiss both now out of commision, I think it's time to call it a day.

Church: This was a fun day. Well see you assholes tomorrow. Sarge: Where do you think you're going? Round 2 hasn't ended yet! Grif, give Ruby your helmet. Grif: I'm not getting knocked out too! Sarge: Or would you prefer the old shotgun to the face? Simmons: Sir, there's no need to 'cause...

Sarge turned to see the Blues no longer in front of them. They already left before he notices.

Sarge: Dagnabbit.

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/necroceph

[el-dibidibidorado1]

Untamed pt.2

Summery: Y/n works at Tom's Diner as a waitress, but what happens when one of her co workers saves her life.

A/n: Well I really have nothing to say but to enjoy this new chapter. It was really tough to write, but if there is any problems or concerns please, pretty please message me and i will do my best to fix it. BYE BYE BYE!!!

Warnings: Language 

Parings: Bucky x Y/n 

"Y/n it is 8! You are going to be late!"

"I'm going!" My day off went over my head fast that the sandman never arrived at my house. Honestly, i just spent them staring at the wrapped Adam presents that I got for him for Christmas. I can't return them, can i?

"Y/n!" My brother yelled at me and his Bigfoot feet stomped upstairs. He blew open my door and began pulling me out.

"Come On! I'm going to be late!"

"Shut up! " I take my arm out of his grasp and kiss my mother goodbye.

"Edward! Kiss your mother goodbye!" She yells.

Ed runs and gives her a quick kiss and runs out. The both of us sigh with the fact that he's going to come home intoxicated or high. And the thing that troubled me is that my mom is going to attend to his needs. I finally lost my last nerve and was ready to explode.

"You are a piece of shit" I muttered as I got in the car. He turned to look at me with serious look.

"Almost every fucking night you go out to get high or drunk!" I disclosed without hesitation.

"That is my business, not yours."

"It is my business."

"It's not"

"It is. Mom has been taking care of you every time you come home from your night out. You don't even help her or say ‘i appreciate you taking care of me’.  You just come home shit faced Ed and she sacrificed another night for you " I felt the tears coming, and I hated it. I hate that I cry every time I get all emotional. I fucking despise it!

"Just take me to Tom's. I'm going to be late." He might be the oldest one but he acts like child. The conversation never proceeded, and I am glad it didn't. I wouldn't be able to control my mouth if it did. I love him, but he has made many mistakes, a bit more than me. Every one makes mistakes, but Maybe, that is our thing, we both make mistakes for a living.

We arrive and I open to get out when he grabbed me into a bone crushing hug. As my anger took a hike, I was going to hug him back he pushed me out, closed the door and speed off. Oh God, please help him.

I take a few breathers and walk into the Diner taking off my coat and beanie. The Diner was practically empty. Which I didn't mind, at all! Less people to communicate with.

"Hey girl" I felt a light slap on my butt. Rosie.

"Hey craziness" I began cleaning the tables.

"Why you mad again?" She questioned while fixing he lipstick.

"I'm not mad."

"Your face is screwed up like you're mad."

"I'm perturbed, not mad" I put the rag down and looked at her. And she looked at me. Then it became a little staring contest. Which I guess that I won?

"You still look mad" she broke the stare and continues fixing her lips.

"Whatever"

"You wanna talk about it?" She put down her lipstick and took out her miniature hair spray. Where the fuck does she hide all of this?

"No. What's the point. I'm just going to become a crying mess like always and Tom is going to have to get all...Blagh and I don't want to deal with it today."

"All 'Blagh'?" She tried to hold back a laugh.

"You know what I mean!" I throw her the wet rag. That's when I notice that it began soaking her hair and face. I really didn't squeeze all of the water out, did i? I stealthily began to move to the back room to hide. A loud sigh and chuckle came out of her as she began looking for me. I try to hide in the spice closet which was next to the dish washer. Look, I'm a bit chunky so I can't hide in small places. Also, the lay out of the diner was peculiar. So...yeah.

"Where are you, you bitch?" She demanded.

"I just finished fixing my hair and lips! Then ya throw your filthy rag at me?" She got closer to the closet and I push myself farther away from the opening. My nerves are going silly, when Tom, ‘my savior’ called her. Thank you Tom! I wasn't going to get the end of it. I lean back and let the moment pass with a quiet laughter. Then my mind began to ramble on about Ed. No, no, no Y/n. You need to concentrate on work. And making Rosie go nuts with her hair. I laugh once more and slowly come out, when I get startled and scream. God it was the cleaning guy. I guess that I startled him that he jumped, but also winced. We both looked down and found a kitchen knife in his hand.

"Oh God!" I rush over and start to panic waving my hands in the air. He slowly takes out the knife and I began to lose it even more. I scramble to get the First Aid and bring him to the sink

"Come here" my voice quaked. I turn on the faucet and slowly take his hand under the water. I expected him to flinch but he didn't. I quickly glance at him and he gives me a small grin and it makes me calm down.

"I'm so sorry" I said while i was letting the water wipe away all of the blood. I slowly run my thumb over the wound to take away all of the dirt and a sticky substance was on his hands. It wasn't from here, it was like syrup or something.

"Luckily it wasn't a deep cut. You'll live, but if the bleeding doesn't stop ask Jim or Tom to take you to the hospital" God his hand is beautiful.

"Thank you" he whispers and it brought a small smile to my face.

"Anytime. I'm sorry again and I never caught your name. Tom Isn't really a good introduces." I asked while I drying his hand.

"Bucky. Bucky Barnes" he quickly said. I guess he doesn't like to talk. Keep it minimal Y/n. I grabbed the ointment and gently placed some on the wound. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

"Well Bucky, I was wondering what this syrup on your hands is?" I asked quietly. Could help yourself, huh? My nerves get to me and I become a chatter box or completely mute.

"Pine trees. I work where they sell pine trees for Christmas." I looked at him and he had the most angelic ocean blue eyes that I have ever seen. My face became heated and I looked for the bandage. Turning around looking for them like a lost child looking for its guardian. Where are they? I looked on the floor, sink, pocket and they just magically disappear. Where in the hell is it!? I just had it! This is so embarrassing, I just had it! After a few minutes of self-war his left hand came to view with the bandage. He seemed to read my mind or did he just hide them from me? I glanced at him and took them. That's when I notice his left hand had a glove on.

"What's with the glove?" I question and ended up regretting it. Shut up, pleeeeeeease. Why would you ask that!? Why? Why?! WHY?! look darlin he's cute and shit but-but- why?! Just w-

"I don't know, i just like it" he chuckled.

"You don't like them? The pine trees." He was now talking more which made me feel better.

"Oh I love them. You know you smell like a pine tree."

"You don't like the smell or?"

"I love the smell the most. I could just stick a star on your head by how heavenly you smell" YOU FUCKING CREEP. WHY? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? He just chuckled as I tormented myself.

"Do you have one?" I nodded and finally finished wrapping the bandage.

"Why?" He softly touched the bandage.

"We got this stupid artificial tree. Which I completely HATE. I just wish i could throw the fake away and bring back the real one." I said while putting away the first aid.

"Well, all done. Just make sure to check on it." I rub my hands together.

" We should head back to work" he says. I nod and go find Rosie or Caroline.

---------------

Really Barnes?! We should head back to work?! You could have talked to her a bit more about- about- um- ab-about something. You just told her to piss off. I mentally battle myself and bang my hand on the counter making me hiss. 

“‘Bucky clean table 7!” Tom shouted. i grabbed the gray dish container and began heading out, when I see her talking to Rosie.

"Babe?" She hums.

"Why don't you go, give them a piece of your mind?"

"Me?" She had this annoyed look. I put the container on the next table and notice what Rosie was speaking of. Two guys at the cigarette machines kept of hitting and cursing at it, as it swallowed its change. I began cleaning as she came up and asked politely to quit hitting the machine.

"Is it your machine?" The taller one had a siut under his brown coat and short greasy hair. While the short one was bald and has some random jacket with a long sleeve shirt and jeans.

"As a matter of fact, it is. So would you please stop hitting it" her voice was stern as they kicked it one more.

"Is that so?" The short one said and she dangles the keys in front of her. She unlocks the door and pulls the lever to release the one that got stuck and hands it to them.

"This isn't the right one" the taller one says and began to hold in a laugh. I began to get angry.

"Which one?" Her jaw clenched.

"Marlboro" she takes out the package and hands it to them.

"Lights" she sighs and hands him another. I clenched my fist.

"Sorry, sweets menthol" her jaw clenched again and she takes the last package out and they gladly accept them. I feel and hear my arm began to shift and once more do Steve's exercise.

"Thanks" she closed the machine and gives Rosie the keys and the other packages.

"Bucky. What's a matter? Come on, I don't pay you to stand around." Tom clapped his hands infront of my face and I deep inside wanted to punch him. Hold it in Bucky. Just like Steve taught you. I close my eyes and began taking deep breaths.

When I open my eyes both of the guys are on the table next to me. Annoyed, I finish the table and move to the next.

"How may I help you?" Mary asked them.

"Yes. We would like Y/n to wait us" soon as I heard that I slammed my left hand on the table making a huge smack.

"Hey man, you okay over there?" I hear Jim ask. I nod my head and look at the table. Desultory I remove my hand and notice a dent in the table.

"What do you need?" Y/n mellifluous voice reeled me to her.

"How have you been Y/n" the short one asked untoward.

"Do I know you two?" She snapped.

"Don't you remember us? From Tiny Tess party? Halloween? You dressed up as a.....a....you know."

"An Superhero" she mumbled.

"Right a superhero. Well I am Shawn And this here is Howard" the short one introduced themselves.

"Well are you guys going to order or?" She asked impatiently.

"Just two burgers with a milkshake, darlin" he winked and she walked away. There eyes never left her and it bugged the hell out of me. So i followed their sight and they were looking at Y/n' s body. My hand clenched even more that I felt blood leak through.

"Bucky?" I turned to be faced with Y/n. My anger relaxed. How long have I been staring at them? I'm not blacking out again, am i?

"Your hand" she gently holds it and brings me to the nearest faucet. I take in all of her facial expressions, her peach scent, her big e/c eyes and her beautiful lips. She unwrapped the bandage and once again she gently holds it under the faucet.

"Be careful. It's not bleeding as much, so that's g-"

"Table three!" She huffed and looked at me.

"Duty calls. Rosie can you bandage him up. Please" Rosie comes and Y/n washes her hands to go get the food.

"Bunch of jerks, huh" Rosie says. I grunt and look back at Y/n as she takes the food to them.

"She's a tough cookie. She can handle it." She finished the bandage and continues refilling the salt shakers. I still kept my eye on her. Just to be safe.

----------------------

"I'm going home" I told Rosie as I put on my coat and hat.

"Bye baby" Rosie dances over to me and I can't help but laugh.

"Come On girl. Sing with me before you leave" grabbing the bag out of my hands and began moving her hips.

"No" I laughed louder. Midi, Maxi& Efti- Bad bad boys began playing in the background.

"~Bad bad boys come with me, come with me~" she put her hands on my hips and violently moved them back and forth. Now I was crying because of my laughter. I swatted her hands away and grabbed my bag and left.

Looking at my watch it said 3 am. ~Ooohhh the haunting hour~ I laugh by myself. Ah man I'm so lame. I'm half ways my walk home when an old beat up car violently stops next to me. Frighten, i began to walk quicker. The car reverses and I finally see who it is. Those two jackasses from the diner. Fuck me.

Tags: @tnupsweetpie

[luxcrawfcrd-blog]

folds hands i am usually so late to errything its annoying ….. i am, como se dice DUMB bc i fotgot to post an intro. hi kweens and kweenettes , im: mary…but u can call me…. anytime…. im 19 and im livin it up in the pst bc we$t co@$t bih. i lost my hoots & hollers cuh i luv horror rps so much sm ay ᵘʰʰʰʰ love cartia daddy . plz on Everything That i Have , plot with me, lux is deada$$ the biggest drama starter and u won’t regrat plotting wit me cuz i’ll show u a good time boo boos . under the cut is where u’ll find more about her >:)  just so y’all kno … i lava u <3

so lux here is a bit of a ..,,…, wild card, to put it lightly lmao

also side note: she didn’t start going by lux until v recent ( it’s sorta explained below ) she grew up with the name alexandra but doesnt rlly respond to it now lmao

so she was born n raised here in derry & always lived a v lavish life. her daddy is basically the dr miami of maine lmao. lux was thrown into the public eye but she rlly had no qualms with it ?? like she found the attention fun, liked dressing up, and found it easy to make others fall in love with her. her parents pretty much groomed her to be the perfect daughter

lux was pretty much ur typical girl next door type, like she was v sweet and outgoing, the girl everyone sorta wanted to be friends with ig ??  

her life went pretty smoothly tbh for like the first..,.19 years of her life lmao

some random facts about her !!! lux drives a baby blue ‘67 mustang coupe. often refers to her trip to canada through vague statements. thrives off of other ppl’s drama. is v good at making p much everyone think they’re bffs. still very loyal n protective tho. has resting bitch face. drinks iced coffee like it’s water. wine too tbh. loooves video games. a big fan of pairing sneakers with designer dresses or fancy ass heels with leggings n a hoodie. has quite the selection of tattoos. can handle her liquor like a mofo. will prob make u snap a photo of her for her instagram / blog if ur hanging out. her snapchat is lit. a big reason for her trying modelling is b/c she wants to travel more. is prob sponsored by fuckin hismile or some shit like that ( except she is v loyal to her followers and is all about having deals with companies that are loyal n environmentally friendly n don’t rip off their customers ).

 i alSO wrote up a some possible connection ideas, but i’ll actually sum up some of the connections that i rlly want for her rn also !!!

betty to my veronica aka best friend, ride or die

an exboyfriend from before she ran off to canada ( i have more ideas for this plot but it has to do w her secret so hmU for the dirty deets if ur interested )taylor already took this one

partner in crime !!! she can go preeetty wild and def needs someone to go wild with

a friendship where they’re like platonically in love lmao y’know like they’re super close n everyone thinks they’re dating or smthng but when asked about it they’re just like ewWW blagh

she likes to pretend she’s sorta heartless now so some current hookups. friends w benefits ( rl chill ), drunken one night stands, mayb something gone awry w feelings or friends that hook up accidentally ??

brother/sister relationship

girl squad !!! v rachel, monica, n phoebe — esque

dude squad !!! lux rlly isnt afraid to get down with the boys, she’s practically one of them at times so ya just a group of bros ( like new girl lmao )

some ex friends cause lux sorta cut off contact w most of la when she left for canada so i’d imagine there’s some bad air somewhere

on that note ^ some childhood friends that are like ????about lux’s sudden identity change

someone that she didnt rlly get along with pre canada but when she returned as “lux” they just sorta clicked, the whole enemies turned bffs thing

[fossadeileonixv]

FDL Season Preiew 2019-2020

Let’s blow this Popsicle stand!

Hola amigos! Mike, Av, and I have pieced together a little season previewy thing here much like we did last year where we answer only the most pertinent questions relating to Milan for the upcoming season. Feel free to answer these questions on your own below. Y’all ready? I’m ready. Let’s go.

What was the most important off-season move?

MIKE: I'm hoping by the end of the season the answer to that question will be Bennacer. Biglia, being signed at 32, was always going to be a placeholder for whomever management decided would be the long term replacement at that spot. And just as Biglia was our most important player 2 years ago when he signed, I think Bennacer needs to be our biggest signing and most important player this year. I'm not saying he's the best signing right now, but he sure as hell better be by the end of the year.

AVIA: It's got to be the new coach. The optimist in me thinks/hopes/prays that we will see Milan playing some genuinely good football via GMP. It's been a nightmare to witness season after season of Milan play football without any shape, soul or commitment, not to detract from the times were we have showed flashes of inspiration but we just generally have looked clueless since Dont-Boo-Me-Dorf was installed as coach. I have no idea how much of a hand GMP had in the new acquisitions but the new attacking additions combining with Paq could suddenly have a player like PTek9 firing on all cylinders. GMP, I'm praying, will have us playing direct & attacking football with a squad that knows their roles and stays compact when not in possession....is that too much to ask?

TR: Agreeing with Av, it is without question, Giampaolo. This club came within an inch of the Champions League with the capable, but affable Rino Gattuso. There were a lot of fantastic signings this summer, with Bennacer and Theo expected to make an immediate impact, but it may take some time for the payoff on the youngsters. Giampaolo's presence on the touch though? We've already felt that. I can already tell he might frustrate us with stubbornness, but there's not doubt in my mind that this was the most important change from last year.

What was a mistake that we may end up paying for this summer?

MIKE: The same as my biggest concern for the last 10 years now... that no matter who is running the team, who is managing the team or who plays on the team..... we still have a god damn MISSFIELD. Our entire midfield, save Jack, has been signed over the last 27 months. There's literally no stink left from the previous regime. yet by the end of last year it was still in limbo. It's like a scab that just won't heal. Every summer it heals up and by Christmas, EVERY DAMN CHRISTMAS it's itching and bleeding again.

AVIA: The smart money would be on not shipping Suso but as you know I'm neither smart nor for social norms .....This will no doubt illicit groans but I still think we will kick ourselves for not snapping up Conte. Yeah, he can be a fussy prick with Ladri blood in him but so what? I'm genuinely worried that he will kick start the rebirth of the merda..... blagh! I  think he could even lead the merda to a scudetto.....yeah I said it....come at me! TR: My heart tells me Patrick, whispers it constantly in fact, but my head says retaining Silva. At the beginning of the summer I would have bet a significant amount of my sneaker collection that one of either Samu, Silva, or Suso would have been sold. Well, a few offers and a failed negotiation with Monaco later, we're here, with all three. Suso looks like he can contribute as a trequartista, but the other two haven't thrilled. Samu was never going to fetch much because he's a bad football player by almost every measure, but Silva still has an upside and could've raised some funds. I don't think there was a ton of interest, but absolutely would've cut losses and sold for much less than we bought him for. I'm a little curious to see if he finds footing under Giampaolo but am pretty pessimistic.

Who's someone we didn't offload that actually may work out for us?

MIKE: That's easy. It's our 2 best players, Romagnoli and Donnarumma. Last year we gave up the least amount of goals as a team since we had guys named Nesta and Silva still roaming around back there. That's pretty amazing considering Musacchio was the other CB and our fullbacks were.... meh. These guys are the rock of the team. Without them we are shit. With them there is hope. Luke Skywalker versus the Death Star level hope.

AVIA: Maybe Suso or Hakan but I'm looking at Donna to be honest, This time last year I was accusing him of possibly selling us short once the season started but he went on to be our MVP for long stretches. The kid is World Class caliber with a long future so hopefully arming him with a genuinely solid CB pairing will start making us serious contenders for Europe and IN Europe! He quietly went about his business last year in the hope of moving on from the previous years circus and it worked.

TR: Ah! You were expecting me to say the Kan-Man can pan out and reward his fans man, but I'm gonna go dark horse here and say Conti. He won't displace Calabria but will impress when the latter misses six weeks in February and March with an ankle injury suffered in a Coppa Italia tie. Conti will step in seamlessly leading to admiration from most of us here at FDL, with a few outliers calling for him to start. I think he finds a way to contribute in Giampy's setup, and provides a couple of assists at pivotal moments.

Where will we see most improvement?

MIKE: Hmmmm. That's a tough one. How about that Suso does indeed become the trequartista most of you are hoping he would be?

Nooooooooo.

The surprise for many will be that he sucks at it. He's too slow of foot and of mind, can't connect to the attack. He doesn't occupy the role past November 1st and is sold by January 31st.

AVIA: Our backline.......I'm hoping that Duarte is our new Silva tbh. There is simply no way that we can take ourselves seriously if we aint solid at the back and although we weren't the worst team defensively last season, the loss of Zapata and apparent implosion of Mussachio has me worried for the season going forward so here's to hoping the new guy ain’t just hype! Plus I'm going with the notion that Hernandez > RRod.

TR: Touchline. See Giampaolo above.

Where may we see a decline?

MIKE: My biggest disappointment this year is probably gonna be whoever fills the SS role, especially if we don't sign anyone specifically to do it. Besides Jack, I don't see a single player on the team cut out to fill the spot. Castillejo? No chance. That 96 pound spaghetti noodle couldn't stand up to a stiff breeze. Silva? GTFO. Calhanoglu? Suso? who else are we gonna try up there?

AVIA: I genuinely think we will be better across the board, no, seriously. Yeah I loved Rino but there's only so much you can achieve by threatening your players with broken legs. Although GMP aint the calibre of coach I've been bleating on about wanting to see installed at Milan he is still far better at technical coaching than Rino 7 days of the week. There's also the fact that we have removed the millstone of the Europa league from around our necks so we can finally just concentrate on securing a CL berth. The squad in theory has also gone up level with the new additions so its all good right??

TR: Defense, slightly. I'm not saying the backline falls apart or even really drops in quality. However, Giampaolo's squads have never maintained a great defensive record, often finishing middle of the back to the lower half of the league. His teams play advanced on both sides of the ball and I will take the good with the bad, but expect a slightly higher amount of goals conceded from last year.

What scares you most going into the season?

AVIA: Conte's Inter...We have a new coach with a new formation & several new key players, it's always a danger and could end badly. I'd like to see us take things nice and slowly  towards the X-Mas break and build up a head of steam come the new year.

TR: Snakes.

Besides that, I'm worried we didn't add that quality second striker and Piatek suffers because of it. The fact we spent €120m and Samu has been paired up with Pia in the preseason isn't a great sign. Leāo isn't going to March right in and when he does get nods on the first team, I think it is going to inconsistent. It isn't a shortcoming we can't overcome as we have a lot of goalscoring quality behind these two, but I do worry it may hold us back some.

What does the top six look like at the end of the year?

MIKE: Juve, Inter, Milan, Napoli, Lazio, Roma

AVIA: Inter, Juve, Napoli, Milan, Roma & Atalanta

TR: Juve, Napoli, Inter, Milan, Lazio, Roma

Tommorow bitches!

[commandtheroom]

Surgery

When one of my friends eventually has this surgery, I want to be able to recount for them the days after surgery so they can have a glimpse into what to expect. So, I'll blog about it. It's important to start with the fact that today is Saturday, and I had my sleeve on Wednesday. I couldn't even bring myself to look at my phone until Friday, but even then, I barely touched it while at the hospital because it made me nauseous. I still get a bit nauseous and my vision is funky, so I doubt this will be a long note. I remember everything that happened before they put me under. That's unusual for me because sometimes it's only bits and pieces with anesthesia. They didn't tell me to count down from ten this time around, they just went for it. Then I was out. I woke up quite fuzzy and to be honest, I only remember wanting to sleep. I know mom and dad and tina and Sandra were there, but I barely spoke, and just wanted to sleep. More specifically, I just wanted to sleep on my left side. They let me and I didn't feel much pain while I was on my left side holding a pillow against my stomach with my eyes closed and no noise. That was my happy place. At least until my side started to bruise because that hospital bed was hard and my poor hip bone was supporting all of my weight for days. It still hurts, but laying on my back is worse and the right side is just painful for some odd reason. The majority of my incisions are to the left. I have 5. One is on the right. One is above my belly button, one is slightly to the right under my boobs and the other two are to the left. The incisions aren't painful, but the tape worries me because it's already coming off and I don't want to pull on it, so I'm just leaving it alone. In regards to my pain, it was never to the point of tears. I actually said no to pain meds a few times in fear that they would give me too many and I would get sick like during my knee. Now I take liquid Tylenol 3 every 4 hours. 1 5 and 9 am and pm. Trust me, I wake up for my pain meds. And to walk. Walking hasn't been difficult at all. I like to walk. Peeing hasn't been hard either, but man do I go a lot. In the hospital, I peed every hour at least and then would walk right after before coming back to bed. The air machines to simulate walking were annoying because I was constantly asking nurses to help me unhook and rehook even though I could do it myself. The day nurses were shit compared to night nurses. The first night was rough. Constantly coming in to check my blood sugar, or my blood pressure/temperature/oxygen levels. Then when I struggled to breathe, they told me that I couldn't use the oxygen because they didn't want my body to need it. Blagh. Then why check it? Haha. They only gave me nausea meds every 12 hours and pain meds every 6. I had to keep track and tell them when I needed them or they forgot. Thankfully, I'm good with time. I really struggled to drink liquids and they did eventually release me without getting down the 6 oz in 1 hour thing. Eventually being on the third day in the hospital. The second, I really thought I was gonna be sent home but looking back, I'm happy I stayed an extra day; it was easier to walk there than here because of the big open spaces and it wasn't as lonely as it is at home. I'm not in need so I understand being alone a lot, but still, my mom left work yesterday at 4 and came home at 9 as if she was working but she was just shopping while I was at home alone. #rude and she bought me sugar free Popsicles and jello and she's eaten more than I have. Go figure. Anyway, back to the surgery. All in all, it hasn't been too bad. And my mom has been great with rubbing my back and checking in on me so I'm not that mad about her shopping yesterday. Plus, I was just watching tv. All in all, the surgery is worth it, so I'm just waiting for time to pass at this point. Tick tock, tick tock. Oh, and I've been having crazy dreams. Like vivid dreams. My mind is bugging me because it's trying to be more active than I let it. I think I'll try to go out today. Get some more walking in. We will see.