#blame discord call jokes and something about pants

[hoaxghost]

angel.nshk

[parakeetdetective]

Video Calls

✰- Paring -✰ Feitan X Reader

✰ - TW(s)- ✰ Light NSFW

✰ - Note- ✰ Short and sweet. I just liked the idea of a reader reading the quest text to Feitan while playing an mmo. I feel like it's basically cannon he likes video games.

✰ - Word Count- ✰ 863

You swear you're a good girl. It's only natural for you to want to play with the best players you can find. So when you met a dude with above-average skills on your favorite online video game, you added him to your friends list. His mic was never on, but yours was to communicate the little bits of information needed. Sometimes you'd add in some sardonic jokes. Over time you started receiving more and more invitations to join their party. Fine. Normal. You just played together a lot. Then you exchanged contact information outside of the game. This is a little rare for you but still nothing crazy. 

Things started out light. His spelling and grammar were less than impressive, and he still wouldn't get on voice chat. As you came to find out, he wasn't speaking his native language, so you couldn't blame him. You knew some basic things about him. He worked a lot. Traveled a lot. He'd send you tons of pictures of where he was traveling. Sent you pictures of his laughable pc setup, an old duck-taped laptop on concrete with a beaten razor naga. After you sent, a picture of your new 3 monitor setup complete with LED lights out the ass. There were a couple other images sent back and forth. Nothing you couldn't tell your folks about. 

Eventually, he got a mic, or as you later found out, he figured out how to download the discord app onto his phone so you wouldn't have to use the in-game voice chat. He'd talk here and there, but it was mostly you. He never had much time, but you really valued what you had. Coming home from a day of work to unwind and have someone to vent to meant a lot to you. A great non, judgemental listener.

You're not fully ready to admit when things really started, but he'd begun to send you some less-than-work-appropriate images. At first, it was some art he was into. Then more art, but this time it was of some women tied up with the simple caption,

"You."

What you'd later know as 'shibari' was new and exciting. Very exciting. You'd replied something like, "Really? Doesn't look much like me."

"It will." 

You'd hoped that was a promise. Promptly changing his name to Fei with a little heart in your phone.  

Art turned into even more irl images. A couple tame ones showing himself at random locations. Then the less than tame ones…

You remember feeling so embarrassed the first time he sent you an image of his cock you practically locked your phone and threw it across the room. This wasn't like you, but then again, you'd put a surprising amount of effort into the pictures you'd send back. Seeing a video explaining how to get the perfect sneaky shot of your ass in a mirror while making it look like you were casually taking a selfie. While obviously, the only thing you'd be wearing was a lacy thong. Such efforts were always rewarded with more attention and images of himself. Eventually moving to send you videos of him enjoying the photo collection.

A shaky video aimed just so that only his muscular chest and groin were visible. Running his hand over a prominent bulge in his pants. Slowly. Letting out a small groan. Unzipping and gingerly freeing himself. Precum was already forming at the tip as he pumped the base of his shaft. The only light was coming from his phone, illuminating him while he's got your images pulled up. 

"So pretty." He'd groan. 

You got a few of these videos, but they were a treat. Something that kept you striving to make yourself as palatable as possible for his hungering eyes. 

Naturally, you'd begun listening to him touch himself over the phone too. He's practically begged to hear your pretty little moans. So you had to join in too. He had you uttering things over the phone that the next day felt utterly cringy. You loved it. 

Then there were the gifts. Oh, the gifts. First, he sent you a glittering silver necklace. And, of course, you sent back photos of it lying perfectly on your collarbone, where it was definitely the main focus and not your exposed flesh. Then a cute kitty body pillow. Then a bit of silk rope. You thought nothing of the old, beaten, and often oversized cardboard boxes they'd appear in. You just figured it had all been packed personally. Never considered it may have been hand-delivered as well. 

That black silky cord was too exciting for you to linger on details. It took some googling, but you'd figured out how to tie yourself up pretty well for doing it yourself. It came in handy for video calls. 

Arms tied behind your back with your ass raised to rock your body into the large pink dildo suctioned to the bed frame. Making puppy dog eyes at the camera. Begging him for a real cock to play with. Purring thank yous when he'd call you a dirty whore. He still never talked much, but his heavy-lidded eyes and slow strokes spoke louder than words. 

[untaemedqueen]

Red Sus (M)

Idol!Jeongguk x Girlfriend!Reader

WordCount: 3.9k

Genre: Smut, Porn With Little Plot, Fluff, Among Us!Fic, Among Us!Crack?

Warnings: Jeongguk’s Hot Headed Ass, Taehyung LITERALLY THROWING THE GAME, Impreg Kink, Big IQ Brain Power Plays, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Fellatio, Face Fucking, Praise, Edging, Unprotected Sex, Belly Buldge, Cunnilingus, Pussy Slapping, Spitting, Doggy Style, Multiple Orgasms, Cream Pie

A/N: Sooooo I’m too obsessed with Among Us to not make a fic? And even though this is shorter than most that I make I thought it would be fun to whip something up in the spirit of BTS’ competitive games. Do I believe 100% that Kim Taehyung would throw a game? Absolutely. Thank you so much to the forever squad @ppersonna, @ladyartemesia, @xjoonchildx for letting me rant and talk about this insanity of a one shot and reading it! Thank you to baby Bucca @thejooncrew​ for reading it! I hope you enjoy the silly and the smutty! 

The house is filled with loud screams, mainly from your boyfriend as he ties his hair up into a ponytail.

You can see the sweat on his neck beading as he sits in the voting screen.

"Oh yeah?! Then Taehyung hyung, where were you? Because I went to reactor when it was called and you didn't follow me and now Hobi hyung is dead." Jeongguk goes quiet as he waits for his answer and you begin to smirk as the muscles in his back tense up.

"WHAT THE FUCK? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? LAME. LAME. LAME. RED SUS. RED SUS AS FUCK! There is no possible way you were in cafeteria! Because I ran through cafeteria from admin to get to the reactor!" Jeongguk has gotten angry during games before. But, this is the first time you've seen his neck veins bulging.

"Hyungs! It's not me! I didn't kill Hobi hyung!" He whines out before putting his elbows to his computer table and cupping his forehead with his hands.

"You're fucking throwing!" He complains and you watch the screen as his black character racks up smaller bodies beneath his name. He scoffs loudly as he mutes his mic before turning to you.

"I want you to play with us. I can't play with them. It's so frustrating." He whines as he rolls his chair over to you. He throws himself out of the chair and onto your lap as you caress his handsome face.

Guk has always been so competitive, so good with everything that you can understand him being frustrated in a game like this one. Sometimes he needs a little pick me up. A little incentive to get him going again. And you know just the thing.

"Alright, I’ll play. But how about if I win, we make a baby?" You ask and his eyes flash over with mischief.

“Yeah? You want to make a mini crewmate with me?” He asks playfully and you narrow your eyes at him for the bad joke.

“Okay. Okay. Sorry, no bad jokes. Only filling your pussy with my cum.” He says before he chuckles deeply as his hand roams over the curve of your side.

"That sound good? We play and if I win you can fuck a baby into me like you’ve been trying to do?" You ask once more. 

His bottom lip is between his teeth as his fingers drift over the imprint of your puffy nipple through your tank top.

"How about you play with the boys but I have to play with you while you do it? And if you win either Imposter or Crewmate then I'll fuck my baby into you like I've been dying to do since I met you five years ago." His offer is tempting and you begin to smile as he does the same.

His fingers drift over your nipples, watching them strain and become erect against the thin fabric.

“Game on, Jeon Jeongguk.”

With a sharp breath between his teeth, he leans up on his elbows. His tongue peeks out of his mouth to place wet kisses against your clothed chest. His tongue flicks at the stiff peaked bud, enjoying how the lavender shirt becomes darker with his saliva. 

"Guk?" You can hear faintly from the computer and he sits up quickly as he hears them call his name.

The word Defeat flashes on the screen and he sighs loudly as he shuffles back over to the computer desk. Fixing his erection, he puts his headphones back on.

"Y/N is going to play for me. I'm going to take a shower." He says calmly as you open up your laptop. He hands you his mouse as he gives them farewells. Booting up the screen, he reads out the letters of the private server before situating himself behind you.

You take in a sharp breath as he pulls your tank top over your head. Your mind already becoming foggy with thoughts of lust as the server boots up.

"Hey guys." You call out as you join the Discord server. 

"Hey hey!" Taehyung cheers as he runs around your purple character on screen.

You've played Among Us before with your friends but never your boyfriend's group. This will be interesting. You're usually very good and right now you need to be. There's nothing you want more in the world then to start a family with the man you love and adore.

"Start." Jin calls out and Jeongguk mutes your mic for you.

You take in a sharper breath than before as his thumbs swipe across your nipples. His lips trail from one shoulder to the other and you shudder as the Shhhh screen disappears.

"Impostor." You tell him and he chuckles to himself before nodding.

"Better hope you're good if you want me to fuck my cum into you and make this baby." He jeers. 

Faking tasks for you is easy, but it's considerably harder when your smoking hot boyfriend is behind you. He's touching every bit of flesh he can. Rolling and pinching your nipples just perfectly to distract you from the task at hand.

His lips are kissing at the shell of your ear when you get your first kill on Jimin in Navigation before hopping into the vent. 

"Every good kill you get, I'll reward you." Jeongguk whispers before peeking at the muted mic. Drifting his fingers south, he watches you as you jump out of the vent in admin before pretending to stalk the admin screen.

"Clean." Jeongguk whispers as Hoseok runs into the room. 

As you exit the admin screen, the dead body report comes up and Jeongguk holds his breath.

"It's Yoongi hyung! It's Yoongi hyung!" Taehyung chants and Guk laughs as you unmute your mic.

"What?! Why would you say that?!" Yoongi yells as you giggle.

“First of all, where’s Jimin’s body?” Namjoon asks and you hear Taehyung hum.

“He’s in Navigation.” He replies.

"I saw Y/N in admin so she's good." Hoseok calls out and your boyfriend gives a thumbs up.

He shoves his hand in your pants and you squirm nervously.

Parting the now slick folds of your pussy, his middle finger rubs smooth circles onto your clit. Your back falters into his chest at the pleasurable feeling and you find yourself giving the smallest whimper.

"Y/N, what did you do this round?" Namjoon asks and you clear your throat.

Jeongguk pauses to let you collect yourself.

"I did card swipe and wires in admin before staying on the admin screen to see if anyone vented." You say before hearing hums of agreement.

"Yeah. I'll take that. And, I did see her in admin so I believe it." Hoseok says. Jeongguk begins his unrelenting torture to your clit once more as he kisses softly down the back of your neck.

"YOONGI HYUNG IS SUS!" Taehyung screams and you can't help but giggle before gasping gently at the pleasure and muting your mic.

"Shut up Taehyung! You're the worst third impostor I've ever fucking seen. You're throwing, you IDIOT!" Yoongi screams back.

"Skip." Jin mumbles before the screen goes black once more.

"You're doing so well, baby girl." Guk whispers as he trails his slender fingers along your slick folds.

"Fuck. Guk." You whine as you put your head back to his shoulder.

"Better pay attention. If you want me to fuck a baby into you that is." He reminds you.

You were intrigued when you first found out about his kink but after watching some porn videos with him and hearing him talk about it in bed, it's certainly grown on you.

You stopped taking birth control a while ago and have been trying to have a baby for so long now. But, fun games like this couldn't hurt. They're exciting.

Starting the round, you head off towards reactor and pretend to do Simon Says when Namjoon enters to do 1-10.

You can barely focus as your boyfriend pinches and rolls your nipple between his fingertips. 

"Can't wait till you're swollen with my baby. Gonna let everyone know just how much I love on you. I can't wait till these pretty tits fill up with milk just for my child." Jeongguk whispers in your ear and you shiver before killing Namjoon and venting.

You sabotage the doors all around the left side before popping out of the vent in lower engine and running into electrical with Jin.

"Lean back a little bit for me, baby girl." Your boyfriend demands and you do as you're told. He thrusts two fingers deep into your cunt and you moan loudly at the tiny burn.

"You're so excited to have my baby. You hear how wet you are for me? Getting your cute little panties all soaked." He whispers before nipping at your earlobe.

You kill Jin before venting and Namjoon's body is found by Yoongi.

"SELF REPORTED!" Taehyung screams and you moan as Jeongguk curls his fingers to the delicate bundle of nerves inside of you.

"Shut the fuck up Taehyung. My God!" Yoongi whines.

"Where's the body?" Hoseok asks.

"Reactor. Oh shit. Jin is dead too. I think it's Taehyung or he's throwing." Yoongi says matter-of-factly. 

"Y/N, where were you this round?" Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk keeps pressure to your g-spot as you unmute.

"I did gas can top and then gas can bottom. Then went into electrical to do the three spinning things." You say before muting yourself again.

"I trust Y/N." Taehyung says before clearing his throat.

"Fuck Guk, keep going. My pussy is so wet for you." You whine as his large hand spreads your leg wider.

"We have to vote here guys." Hoseok calls out.

"I'm voting for Taehyung. He's putting the blame on me so it's got to be him." Jeongguk laughs behind you as he begins to fuck you with his fingers again.

"I'm going with Taehyung too." Hoseok says and you vote the second youngest out before moaning your boyfriend's name.

"That's it baby. Fuck, you love this." Your boyfriend mumbles as he pulls his cock out of his sweatpants.

"Kill one more and you get a fat load of cum up your needy cunt." He reminds you as Taehyung floats through the air. 

The heel of his palm digs into your clit and you whimper out as you watch Hoseok stay near the emergency meeting button.

You call reactor quickly and run across with both Yoongi and Hoseok as your cooldown meter ticks away to nothing. Finally you kill Yoongi and breathe a sigh of relief as you win the round.

"Damn. It wasn't Yoongi?" Taehyung asks dumbfounded.

"I said it wasn't me like fifty times KIM TAEHYUNG." Yoongi yells.

"Gg fellas. But I gotta go. Bye!" You squeal as you exit the Discord call.

Jeongguk puts your laptop and headphones on the floor before tackling you to the mattress with a sly grin.

He tugs off your sleep shorts and your underwear before taking off his sweatpants and smiling widely. 

You absentmindedly lick your lips as you stare at his rock hard cock. It was a sight you could never get tired of. Slightly curved and beading precum at the tip of his long length, he begins to chuckle as you eye him. The pink rose veins of his cock call out to you and you wrap your hand around the thick base earning a whimper from your boyfriend above you.

“Fuck. Baby.” He whines as you stroke him, feeling the velvety soft skin against your palm.

His cock twitches with need as you sit up.

Looking up at him below your thick lashes, he takes a sharp breath through his teeth anticipating what’s to come next. 

Your tongue swirls around the head of his cock, picking up the beads of precum that linger. Guk moans loudly above you, his hands grasp at your head as you enter him into your mouth. 

“Oh fuck, you’re so good at sucking my cock baby, shit.” He moans out. 

His perfectly manicured nails dig into your scalp and you bob your head. 

“Just like that. Keep going. I love when you slobber on my cock. Shows me how horny you get for me.” His bottom lip tucks between his teeth again as he pushes your head down, losing himself in the pleasure you’re giving him.

Your eyes spring with fresh tears as you gag on his large length and the sound only goads him on to hear more of them. 

Swallowing around his cock, he preens as he goes deeper and deeper within your throat.

“Such a good girl. Fuck.” He praises through gritted teeth. His eyes lock onto yours again as tears stream down your cheeks. 

“Yeah. Fuck you love this, don’t you? Love being a little cocksleeve for me.” His cock begins to throb within your throat and you whine at the feeling before he’s pulling out and sighing loudly.

“Lay down for me, baby girl.” He says as he pulls his hair tie tighter. 

Doing as told you let out a soft moan as his lips encircle your areola. His tongue flicks at your stiff peaked bud as his cock glides through your folds.

The stimulation to your clit is so powerful, you feel almost breathless. Every rut against your core has you losing all semblance of reality. 

“Yes. Yes. In me, please.” You beg as he shows love to your other breast. 

Aligning to your core, his hand cups your cheek. He gives you a small smile before pressing his lips to yours in a passionate kiss.

Gasping as he enters you, his tongue glides over yours as you grip his tattooed arms.

"Oh fuck!" You whine as your head lolls back.

"Oh my God." Guk groans as he buries his face into your neck.

Wrapping your legs around his waist, your nails scrape down the honey toned skin of his arms.

"Fuck, you feel so good baby. So wet and tight for me." He moans against your skin as he begins a relentless pace.

Taking his head away from your neck, he situates his hands on either side of your face before thrusting harder into you.

His eyes drift slowly down your body to where you are joined and he moans loudly before pressing his hand to your womb.

“Fuck, look how big my cock is in your tight little pussy.” He moans and your eyes drift to where he’s looking.

His cock is so long and thick inside of you, you can see the outline as he thrusts in and out of your soppy cunt.

“God, you’re incredible!” He whines as he picks up the pace.

Sitting up on his knees, his hips continue to snap and roll as a thin sheen of sweat graces his body.

Your fingers drift over the hard muscles of his abs as you moan for him. He fucks you so well, muddling your mind and drying your mouth and throat.

“You’re gonna look so good, nice and pregnant with my baby. So fucking perfect carrying my child inside of you. Shit! You’re so fucking wet!” He cries out as he grips your hips.

His perfect nails scrape down the skin of your hips and the slight twinge of pain earning a loud groan from you.

He’s so perfect. So yours. And, so eager to put what’s his inside of you.

“Tell me how much you want my baby inside of you.” Jeongguk demands as his hand reaches for the apex of your thighs. 

Rearing back and spitting on your already soaked pussy, his thumb begins to rub circles onto your clit. Your thighs lock and shake through the intense pleasure and you can barely think before he’s slapping your clit to demand words from your mouth.

“I want you to fuck a baby into me so badly. Want you to cum inside and watch me get all big with your baby.” You whine as you palm your breasts in hand.

“Fuck yes. Can’t wait till you're nice and big. Get to fuck you from behind with your belly in my hands.” He mumbles as his head lolls back.

You could feel yourself starting to reach the height of your pleasure. The pressure within you becomes almost too much to withstand. 

“Guk, please. Please! I want to cum!” You whine and he lets a smirk grace his features before he’s fucking you up the bed.

Your hands grip the sheets, white knuckling them as your eyes flutter shut. 

“Cum on my cock, baby girl. Show me how much you want my baby.” He demands as he pinches your clit.

Behind your eyes, a galaxy explodes and paints the back of your eyelids as you orgasm. Your ears ring and you can barely hear him praising you for all you’re worth.

“Oh fuck! You’re going to make me cum!” He whines as he pulls out of you.

You whimper at the loss. You feel drunk off his pleasure. Sluggishly you watch as his tattooed arms wrap around your thighs. 

Laying down between your thighs, he ruts his cock against the mattress as his face reaches towards your core.

“Guk!” You whine as he wraps his lips against your throbbing bud.

Your body jolts and tingles with overstimulation as you grip his ponytail.

“T-Too much! I can’t!” You cry out but he doesn’t listen. 

He gives soft licks to your clit, pushing you through the overstimulation until you’re preening for him again.

His name tumbles from your lips like a prayer as you begin to grind your spent cunt against his face begging for more.

Leaving your clit, his nose brushes against your nub as his tongue enters you. The muscular organ goes rigid as he fucks you before whirling around inside of you. With a yelp, you grip his hair harder within your grasp. Tugging almost painfully, he groans against you. The vibration seems to course through your body. The noise reinvigorating you for more.

“Oh fuck! Jeongguk!” You cry out as he grips your thighs harder. 

His eyes flutter shut and your breath hitches as he pulls away. 

“You taste so fucking good. So sweet.” He mumbles. 

The image of his handsome face, covered and shining in your slick is almost sensory overload for you. 

He smacks your pussy playfully once more before his hands grip your sides. In an instant you’re on your stomach, face pressed down into a pillow. 

Guk positions you to his liking, his hand roaming over the soft skin of your back before knocking your legs open. 

Grippin the back of your neck, he places soft kisses across your shoulder as he aligns himself back to your entrance.

“Fuck, I love you.” He murmurs into your ear.

“I love you t-” The final word is cut off with a loud moan as he enters you in one swift motion.

You can hear him groan low and deep in your ear, and can feel the rumble of his chest as he presses himself against your back. 

“Your pussy is so fucking sloppy. You’re creaming all over my cock, filthy girl.” He punctuates each word with a harsh thrust and your moans become stunted and muffled into the pillow.

Pulling away from your back, his hand grips your hair into a makeshift ponytail before tugging harshly as he fucks you with everything he has. 

You can hear his ragged breathing and his gentle moans letting you know how good you feel around him. 

“I can’t wait to fuck your pregnant pussy. I read it feels so much warmer and tighter. So much sweeter. You’re going to drive me insane with this pretty little cunt of yours.” He informs you as he hooks his hand around your throat.

Pulling you upright against his chest, he fucks up into you at a speed that should be illegal. Your hands scramble to grab anything as he applies the perfect amount of pressure to the column of your throat. 

Gasping in your pleasure, you grip at his arm feeling his muscles and veins flexing and protruding. His forehead presses against your temple and he curses softly in your ear as his cock thickens and throbs within you.

“Goddamn, baby girl. You’re going to make me cum. Rub your clit for me, cum on my cock first.” With a shaky hand you do as told, rubbing furious circles against your clit as your arousal drips down both his and your legs. 

“Guk! Fuck! I want to get pregnant for you so badly!” You cry out as his teeth gingerly clamp your earlobe.

“I know, baby girl. You want me to cum in your needy little pussy so badly. I can feel it. You want to watch your belly swell with my baby and let everyone know who keeps you so well stuffed.” He whispers in your ear. 

Your eyes roll back in your head as the pressure builds up again within you. Your legs shake and your moans become whimpers as you focus on his throbbing cock inside of you.

“Want to hold your big belly walking down the street letting everyone know Jeon Jeongguk put that baby inside you. That no one gets to have me but you. Fuck!” He curses loudly as his thrusts begin to get sloppy.

“Guk! I’m going to cum!” You whine as you grip his arm harder.

“Good girl, cum on my cock. I’m- Fuck- I’m not going to last.” He cries out as his eyes squeeze shut. 

As you orgasm the second time, he gasps loudly behind you. Letting your throat go, he cups your breasts behind his large hands and squeezes roughly as he begins to cum. You can feel his warm cum painting the walls of your pussy and he whines your name gently as he buries his face into your neck.

With a gentle cry, your orgasm becomes tenfold feeling how warm his cum is inside of you. 

“Oh shit.” He mumbles as he holds you tightly to his chest. 

“Fuck.” You whisper as he presses soft kisses to your heated skin.

You stay like this for a minute before he’s flopping both of your bodies down onto the bed with an exasperated sigh. 

“God, I hope we get pregnant this time.” He whispers and you know he’s praying to God for it to come true.

“I hope so too.” You whisper as your fingers drift over the skin of his arm.

The silence is comfortable for a few minutes and his grip on your tightens as he hugs your body to his.

“Wanna play another round with the boys before we order dinner?” He asks innocently and you begin to smile as you nod.

“If you win again, I’ll fuck more cum into you. Deal?” He asks as he pulls out of you.

His fingers spread your battered pussy lips as he watches your cunt begin to cream with his cum. 

“Deal.” You say with a giggle as he runs his fingers over your womb.

“I think it’s Y/N.” Jeongguk mumbles into the mic before turning his head to you and narrowing his eyes. 

You stay stone faced as you look at him before turning back to the screen, “It’s not me. I did all my tasks. I’m just following people around to make sure they don’t die. I think it’s Taehyung. Red sus.” You say as you lean back against the headboard of the bed cracking your fingers.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as everyone begins to agree with you.

“Red is always sus. Especially when you’re Kim Taehyung.” You hear Jimin say with a laugh.

You begin to smirk as everyone votes Tae, you can hear him protesting and screaming. With a triumphant laugh the victory screen appears and you fold your arms as you quip an eyebrow at your boyfriend.

He grumbles gently before muting his mic. 

“Fine. Spread those pretty legs for me.” He whispers as he leaves the game. 

[shutupanakin]

Wasting Your Time ch.1

“Wh— what?” Tommy choked out, his voice hoarse from the lack of use all day.

The man rolled his eyes, as if he didn’t just ask a completely impolite question. “I said, do you have any booze?”

Tommy sat still. He reached into his jacket pocket, his hand finding only a plastic pen. Could he stab this man with a plastic pen?

Tommy pulled said piece of plastic out, visibly holding it up. “I have a pen.” Something about the bemused look on the man's face made Tommy click it, and again, repeatedly.

click click click click click click click click—

...

or; Tommy planned on dying. He meets Wilbur instead.

crossposted on ao3 here

Tommy stared at the yellow line, centimeters away from his feet. The announcement of the incoming train ringing in his ears, feeling the approachment of the vehicle vibrate the concrete under his feet. He forced his head up, glaring at the incoming lights.

Tommy squinted. He threw a glance at the only other person waiting on the 11:25 pm train— a little old lady, Tommy was sure that he had at least a foot on her. Her wrinkled hand clutched a brown cane, the other one on her ruby red purse.

Tommy would hate to inconvenience her.

Tommy stepped a few inches back, safely behind the yellow line. The train slowed to a stop, waiting a few moments before the metal doors pulled open in front of him, clicking with a metallic sound. There were a few stragglers at the front, where the elder woman had gotten, and a couple sitting in the midsection. Tommy ducked his head and grabbed a seat at the back.

Tommy threw his feet up on the empty seat next to him, resting the back of his head against the warm glass. Another few seconds and the doors hissed shut. The train pulled away, the lights in the tunnel buzzing past him.

Tommy mentally tallied how many people were in here with him; the three at the front, with the elder woman who was with him on the platform, and the couple. Six people who’s nights he could've possibly ruined. Delaying a train at this time of night would be rude.

Sam would be sleeping, he had morning classes that he couldn't afford to stay up late for. When Tommy slipped out of their flat his older brother had been snoring away peacefully in his room. The thought of Sam makes Tommy pick at a loose thread on his jacket, pulling it with his fingernail. He didn’t want to think about Sam right now.

Tubbo would be up, definitely. His absent sleep schedule sucked. He was probably in a discord call with Ranboo, talking or playing CSGO or messing around in Minecraft , he didn’t know. On a normal night he’d probably be with them. Laughing so hard and loud that it makes the neighbor's dogs bark. Falling over in his chair… and Sam would sleep right through it, like he always did.

Wasn’t exactly a “normal” night, though.

Honestly, he hasn’t had a normal night in a while. Tubbo, often Ranboo, would text him; “wanna play?” Or “why aren’t you in vc?” And Tommy would reply, “sorry, don’t feel like playing”, or,”can’t, got a bunch of homework.” Sometimes that wasn’t a lie. Then, Tubbo just stopped asking. And of course, Tommy couldn’t blame him, it hurt, yeah, but Tommy unintentionally ghosted them.

He just couldn't stand to be in that call, after the last few times. Tubbo and Ranboo giggling at each other, poking fun with inside jokes that Tommy didn’t understand. Little moments like those would have Tommy faking a yawn and saying goodnight. He didn’t want to ruin their fun.

Tommy’s phone buzzed, the little bit of reception that he got down here snapping him back to his current reality. The train had stopped at the next station, the couple standing and the old woman following. Tommy’s eyes followed them as they left, debating if he should follow. Another buzz. Tommy turned his attention back to his phone.

Tubbo at 11:30 pm

Toommy

Tubbo at 11:30 pm

do u wanna play Terraria

His fingers started typing, beginning a message, but shook his head, shoving his phone back in his pocket. His activity on discord was already invisible. Tommy didn’t know what to say to him. He didn’t want his last possible text to Tubbo to be something as simple as a turndown to play a game.

A thump from across Tommy startled him, the cause of the sound being a man with a mess of curly brown hair mirroring his position across the aisle. His leg up and arm resting on the top of the seat. Brown eyes framed with round glasses met Tommy’s.

"Got any booze, kid?” The train was pulling away.

For no particular, definitely unrelated reason, Tommy wished that he had just gotten off.

“Wh— what?” Tommy choked out, his voice hoarse from the lack of use all day.

The man rolled his eyes, as if he didn’t just ask a completely impolite question. “I said, do you have any booze?”

Tommy sat still. He reached into his jacket pocket, his hand finding only a plastic pen. Could he stab this man with a plastic pen?

Tommy pulled said piece of plastic out, visibly holding it up. “I have a pen.” Something about the bemused look on the man's face made Tommy click it, and again, repeatedly.

click click click click click click click click—

The man waved his hand, leaning forward. “Fucking— stop that! You are annoying.”

Tommy grinned, it didn’t reach his eyes. “I know,” He said, pocketing the pen. “and you are a loser.”

The man gasped in a show of dramatics. Bringing his arm up to his forehead, the brown fabric of his coat covering his eyes. “Oh, woe me, the tragedy, meeting my end to a child!”

Tommy scowled. “You’re a real prick.”

The older man didn’t falter, continuing his tirade. “Poor, poor me. All thy’ve ever wantedth was thy vodka.”

Tommy didn’t know why he egged this on. He could pull out his earbuds and tune out his nonsense until Tommy or him got off the train, whichever was coming first. “Your Shakespeare sucks,” Tommy grunted. “ Wantedth isn’t a word, bitch.”

“Then you know Shakespeare?”

Quickly, Tommy shook his head. “Absolutely not. None of that nerd shit. I just paid enough attention in Lit to know you’re a fucking moron.”

His eyes narrowed at Tommy, or more so, what he was wearing. “What sport do you play?”

Tommy’s eyebrows shot up, what made him ask that? “Pardon?”

He groaned, rolling his shoulders. “Your jacket, you insolent toddler,” He gestured vaguely at Tommy. “what sport?”

Tommy looked down, glancing at the red thread he was picking at earlier. “Oh,” That came out quieter than Tommy wanted, a whisper. “it’s my brothers,” There was Tommy’s voice. “Got it when he was visiting the states.” Tommy shook his head, brushing the thought of Sam away. “And my names Tommy, dickhead.”

The complete ass, he had the audacity to hum at him . “Wilbur Soot,”

Tommy scoffed. “That’s a stupid fucking name.”

“You are a child.” Wilbur chided, there was no true heat behind his words.

Tommy shrugged. “You’re a bitch.”

Another stop, Tommy tallied that as the third one; another stop he hadn’t gotten off at. This wasn’t meant to be a trip, he remembered. The ticket, which sat folded in his pants pocket, was one way. Tommy had bought it out of... what was it? Courtesy? He hadn’t intended to survive long enough for the ticket collectors to come around.

Excuses. Excuses, that’s what this was. Tommy was making excuses, simple as that. He wanted to go through with this, he was sure of it. He’d thought about this for weeks, planned this out for days, he figured out which day and which time of night would have the least people. But there were still people, there was the old lady and couple who had gotten off earlier and the four people at the front and the—

Well, there was Wilbur Soot, who for whatever damned, unknown reason, had sat down across from Tommy. Now Tommy was stuck with him until either of them get up and leave. He silently wondered who would go first.

No one had gotten on, or left. The train moved on.

“So uh, where—“ Tommy stumbled, swallowing. “Where you headed?”

Wilbur shrugged, Tommy furrowing his eyebrows. "Nowhere in particular, just felt like getting on. You?”

The fuck did that mean? Tommy thinks. “So you just... got on, no reasoning. Just like that?”

“Just like that. You didn’t answer the question.” Tommy groaned. Tommy was edging back to wanting to punch his stupid face.

“Not when you answer so vaguely,” Tommy cried. “I’m not going anywhere in particular either, for your information.”

“Really?” Wilbur pushed, incredulously. Like he had the right to be skeptical.

“Really.” Honestly, who did this irritable dickhead think he was? Tommy shuffled, folding his arms. Maybe he will get off at the next stop, he won’t ever have to ever see the enraging presence that was Wilbur Soot and his stupid Reagan and Bush sweater again.

Reagan, Reagan… that was an American President, right? The more and more he observed the man, it could be concluded without a doubt that he was a loser. Not only that, but an irritable one. An irritable loser. What a fate, worse than death. He’d say it was a cursed existence, if you asked Tommy.

Tommy shifted uncomfortably, becoming too aware of the hard plastic seat underneath him. “I just needed to get out tonight. Don’t know why.”

Wilbur rapped his knuckles against the window, in a rhythm that Tommy didn’t recognize. “Running from something? School? Parents?” He grinned. “Girlfriend?”

Tommy’s face twisted in disgust. “I— no no no. To all of those! Down the list, no, no, and no. ”

“Running to something then?” You could word it like that. Tommy frowned, decidedly not answering. “What, were you gonna jump then?”

Tommy knew that Wilbur was joking, but he couldn’t help the way he flinched. “I wasn’t going to jump, bitch— do you do this to every stranger you meet on the rails? Interrogate them for their life story?”

Wilbur pointed his index finger towards the front of the train. “They would not care, you know,”

Tommy’s mouth was dry. “What?”

“Them,” Wilbur gestured. “everyone, they would complain about the delay, they— they would be at best inconvenienced. At worst angry at you .”

“You’re real emo, you know,” Tommy deadpanned. “A right gothic.”

“I prefer poet,” Wilbur corrected. “I am not wrong though, the people here, no sympathy. No empathy. Just inconvenienced.”

“You’re inconveniencing me.” Tommy expressed.

“Because you were going to jump?”

“ Oh —“ Tommy snapped. “That’s none of your business! Stop trying to psychoanalyze me you pretentious prick, what I came down here to do is none of your busin—“

“So you were going to? That is what you came down here to do?”

Whatever battle they were fighting, Tommy was losing, and he was exasperated . “Oh, so, what if I was? Why do you care?”

“Come on,” Wilbur said, swinging his legs over the seat and standing up. How his legs weren’t asleep, Tommy didn’t know. Tommy hit his asleep leg, silently cursing it.

“Wha’?” Tommy asked, narrowing his eyes. “What makes you think I wanna get off with you?”

Wilbur shrugged. “Well, I have nowhere to go, and you have nowhere to go, and to be honest this is getting depressing. And, I would rather not leave a possible suicidal teenager alone. Also, I know a store outside this station.”

Tommy groaned. “Oh no,” He said. “I’m being kidnapped. No, stop, someone help please.” He stood up, shaking the static like feeling out of his left leg. Begrudgingly following Wilbur when the sliding doors pulled open. “Is this the part where your gang comes around the corner in a white van and shoves me in?”

“I don’t have enough friends for that.” Wilbur insisted, leading Tommy up the concrete stairs of the station. Tommy couldn’t help his smile. “I believe you.” Wilbur blew air out his nose, hopefully in amusement.

Tommy checked his phone, the bright light illuminating his face as he and Wilbur stepped out of the tunnel. 12:22 am stared back at him, along with a few more texts from Tubbo. Tommy pocketed it.

Tommy breathed in the crisp midnight air, after almost an hour in the underground, the fresh air felt nice. The area was rural, decently lit for the middle of the night. Tommy turned to look at Wilbur. “So where we goin? Pub? Club? I don’t have a fake ID, big dubbs.”

“No,” Wilbur shook his head, starting his trekk up the hill. “Store, if you can call it that. He is open until three.”

They crossed the street before Wilbur came to a stop, tapping his foot against the ground. “This it?” Tommy asked, reading the sign. Wilbur giving a mmm hmm — in response.

JACK OF ALL TRADES

That was… lame, Tommy thought. “I can’t go in though.” Tommy double-took, stepping back.

“What do you mean you can’t go in?!” He hissed.

“Got banned.” Wilbur replied, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“How?”

Wilbur slapped him on the shoulder. “Story for later, my young friend. Maybe refrain from telling Jack I sent you in, though.”

Tommy huffed. “You suck.” He stuffed his hands in his jacket pocket. “You’re not gonna ditch me here are you?”

Wilbur rolled his eyes, holding up three fingers. “I swear on it.” His smile grew, eyes shining.

He sighed. “Why am I going in again?” It seemed rather pointless, to take Tommy to a store he wasn’t even allowed in. With a quick glance through the windows Tommy guessed it was some sort of gift shop, snow globes and odd looking jewelry lining their respective shelves.

Wilbur tilted his head. “Because it will give you something to do other than to ride the tube to the end of the tracks trying to make up your mind.” He answered.

“When you put it like that,” Tommy grumbled, pushing open the door, triggering the bell at the top to ring. The inside was small, and warm. It was definitely homey.

“Hello!” A heavy accented voice greeted Tommy looked up, a shaved headed man wearing a striped hoodie smiling at him. Jack, he assumed. He sat behind the counter, his legs perched up on the counter. He put down the magazine he had been reading. “What brings you here this time of night?”

Tommy’s mouth formed into a ‘o’, he didn’t expect to have to make conversation with another stranger tonight. “Oh, um,” He cringed, running his hand through his hair. “out for a walk, saw you were open.” He lied, Wilbur had said not to bring him up.

Starting to pick at the thread again, his eyes scanning over the snow globes and miniature statues. His attention fell on a bowl of pins, some were round and others were shaped. The scan bars on the back faded or scratched out.

He reached in, moving around the pins. He wasn’t really searching for anything specifically. Tommy rubbed his thumb over the bee shaped pin he had pulled out. “How much?”

“The pin?” Tommy nodded. “Two pounds.” Jack answered.

Tommy blinked. “That’s ridiculous.” He grumbled, opening his wallet. He handed it to Jack, fiddling with the bee pin.

“Have a goodnight now!” Jack called as Tommy left, stepping outside. Wilbur was there, like he said he’d be.

“Did you get banned for complaining about his obscure prices?” Tommy sneered, making Wilbur laugh. “Absolute ridiculousness.”

“What did you get?” Tommy opened his palm, showing the bee. He attached it to his jacket, the needle clicking into place.

“Jackets blank, thought it could use something.” Tommy explained, walking beside Wilbur. “I’ve been completely ripped off, though. You did this to me.”

“No no, mister Jack Manifold did that to you. Not me.” Wilbur expressed. “I merely brought you there.”

“To be scammed.” Tommy insisted.

Their walk back to the tube station was pleasantly uneventful, Tommy didn’t comment on how Wilbur got on the opposite platform they got off of. He guessed that was the sign that this night was coming to an end. They were going back in the direction they came.

Tommy silently wished that they didn’t, that they kept going. The idea of returning home was becoming less and less appealing. The robotic voice echoed through the speakers, announcing the incoming train.

Tommy resisted the urge to make a jumping joke, knowing that would earn him a smack against the head or something. So he stood behind the yellow line, Wilbur at his side. The inside had a single man, at the front alone. Tommy ignored him, hitching his seat at the back, Wilbur sitting across from him.

“This wasn’t how I planned my night, by the way,” Tommy grumbled.

“I know,” Wilbur told. “I am sure this had the better outcome though. I will make you a deal, okay?” Tommy nodded, starting to play with the edge of his sleeves. “If you can make it to the end of the week without, trying to jump in front of another train, or try to kick a chair out from underneath you—“

“That would be a really lame way to die,” Tommy interjected.

“I am giving an example, Tommy,” Wilbur huffed. “If you make it through the end of the week, come back here. Same day.”

Tommy considered it. “Same time?”

Wilbur shrugged. “Sure, although I would not recommend making a habit of sneaking out in the middle of the night.”

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose, contemplating. This offer— there was no reason he had to take it. He could get off and never see Wilbur again, it wouldn’t change anything. The world will continue spinning, they would both move on, Wilbur would eventually forget about this strange encounter, and so would Tommy.

They stopped, again, no one getting on or off. Wilbur was still waiting for his answer. Tommy didn’t have it.

This was nice though , Tommy thought. It was nice to leave that flat, to get off his mattress. To have a reason to ignore the discord messages from Tubbo and Ranboo. He didn’t have to lay in bed, dreading going to his classes the next day, because he was occupied. He had something to do.

“Alright,” Tommy said. “I’ll take that bet, big man.”

“Deal?” Wilbur reached his hand out, Tommy leaned forward, shaking it.

“Deal,” Tommy gave a toothy smile. “I’ll try not to become a tubeline statistic until next week.”

“That is not funny,” Wilbur warned, although there was no true malice in his tone. “I will have you know statistics are no laughing matter.” Tommy barked out a laugh, the serious expression Wilbur word dropping. If the stragglers at the front were giving bewildered stares at Tommy, he didn’t notice.

“It was…” He wheezed. “It was kinda funny. If anyone gets to joke about that it’s me, alright? Isn’t that some, therapist shit or something? Using humor to cope? That’s me. I’m doing that.”

“You should try that, seeing a therapist,”

Therapy was useless, at least to Tommy. He didn’t need someone in a fancy office to tell him something was wrong with him, he knew damn well what was wrong with him. No pens, or clipboards, or uncomfortable couches, or ticking clocks and judgemental eyes will be able to tell him something that he didn’t already know.

Tommy thinks Sam knows one, or at least she’s studying to become one. A school friend that Tommy’s met maybe twice. The mere idea of dumping his shit on her, he almost felt bad! No thank you , Tommy thought. He would be avoiding that.

“Nah,” Tommy brushed it off. “I don’t do that. Don’t need that. Won’t do anything for me.”

Tommy didn’t realize how long they had been talking, because when the train slowed into a familiar station, Wilbur pulled himself up. Tommy frowned, watching the man stand next to the doors, waiting for them to pull open.

“So, see you next week Toms?” He teased.

Tommy groaned in annoyance. “We are certainly not at Toms yet, big dubbs.”

“I will get there I’m sure,” He said, stepping out. “Farewell Tommy!” He waved, Tommy’s urge to punch those stupid glasses off his face coming back.

Tommy flipped him off, watching the curly mop of brown hair disappear as the train started moving, the platform and the man with it being replaced by the cement walls.

His stop was next, he realized. Tommy would get off, he would walk home and slip into his bed and would have to pray that Sam’s heavy sleeping habits had not changed; that he hadn’t gotten up and realized that his bed was empty, or that the door was unlocked. The thought of Sam sitting there on the couch, waiting for him to enter the door like some sort of walk of shame—

Tommy quickly checked his phone, looking at the notifications. He breathed in relief, no notifications from Sam. No missed calls, no voice mails, no worried text messages; all things that would indicate Sam was awake and that he knew Tommy was out.

Shakily, Tommy stood up. The doors clicked open, waiting for him to exit. He could just keep going the other direction, he thought. He made no promise to Wilbur to return home.

Tommy stepped out, the doors hissing shut behind him. Wind bristled through his hair as the train moved again, almost taunting him. Look at me! Look what you missed!

He chose not to, though. Tommy didn’t because of a bet, and he didn’t even place money on it. A simple bet of wills was supposed to keep Tommy running till the end of the week. It wasn’t like Tommy didn’t enjoy Wilburs company either, it was… nice, having someone to just talk to, to engage with. He didn’t have to raise his voice or make a scene to get him to listen to him.

He would never tell Wilbur that, though. He was fucking irritating enough.

Tommy shoved his hands in his pockets, leaving the station. He’d come back, alright. If not just to prove something to Wilbur but to himself, maybe.

He really should've put money on it, though.

[vs-redemption]

This is the second piece out of seven written for the one year anniversary collaboration event for the @konoblog-simps discord. I encourage everyone to check out the masterlist for today's prompt and support the other creators. Some content is not suitable for minors so please pay attention to the warnings.

Prompt: Angst (Armin Arlert x GN!Reader)

Word count: 1.7K Warnings: None?

Armin hadn’t seemed like much when you first met him during cadet training, at least not to most people. He was smaller and scrawnier than all the other aspiring soldiers, falling dangerously behind during endurance tests and getting overpowered by everyone in the one on one sparring sessions. It was no secret that people questioned his decision to keep pushing himself through, but you saw the potential in him that others failed to.

It was the subtle things you noticed at first. When everyone else complained about the brutal conditions of the training, threatening half-heartedly about giving up, Armin never seemed to waver. Even when he seemed like he might pass out from exhaustion at any moment, sweat pouring down his face and breath coming in labored pants, his eyes remained sharp and determined. Even when he’d been knocked roughly to the ground a hundred times, there was never even a hint that he might be thinking of giving up or running away. It was a little scary actually, but also admirable. Somehow, watching him struggle and endure gave you the strength to carry on as well.

“I… think I have a crush on you.”

You wished for the ground to swallow you up as soon as the confession slipped past your lips. It was so embarrassing to admit it out loud, but after joining the scouting regiment you knew that time was no longer a luxury for you. Nobody was guaranteed a tomorrow once you accepted a position in the scouts, so keeping your feelings inside seemed like a waste. All humiliation from the situation was worth it anyway when you saw the blush creep into Armin’s cheeks.

“Uh…oh.” His response wasn’t exactly awe inspiring, but at least you’d gotten it off your chest. For a moment you wondered if he was even going to respond. Surely he respected you enough to give you an answer either way instead of ignoring the situation completely. He’d never run away from anything before. Thankfully, he didn’t disappoint, and after a pause asks you to sit with him at dinner that night.

The concept of dating in the survey corps didn’t really exist. It was hard enough to try and find a moment just to be by yourself let alone create any type of romantic situation that could be considered a date. It was nice to have that feeling of companionship though. Armin always made sure to spend time with you each day, laughing at your jokes and slowly opening up enough to tell you about the world he imagined was waiting out beyond the walls.

Perhaps there were beautiful landscapes like the ones Armin described to you during meals when he held your hand in his, blue eyes shining with wonder and excitement, but what you encountered during scouting expeditions was the complete opposite of the pictures he’d painted inside your mind. The higher ups had explained exactly what to expect before your first mission, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the actual size of the titans and the amount of death and carnage you’d been forced to witness. Each time you and Armin managed to come out alive seemed like a miracle.

“How much longer do you think we can outrun death before it finally catches one of us?” You ask him sadly. The thought of losing him was unbearable to you, but somehow he still held that spark of resolve.

“We aren’t just outrunning it,” He assures you, pulling you into his arms and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “We’re outsmarting it. The scouts are creating new advantages all the time. Commander Erwin is always coming up with new strategies, and I really think the new thunder spears will make a huge difference for us.”

“But there’s so much we still don’t know,” you remind him. The mysteries of the titans had continued to unfold during your time in the scouts, revealing that there were people who could actually control the monsters from the inside, and that some of them had been traitors the entire time. It was hard sometimes to hold onto the hope that things could get better.

“I can’t make any promises about the future,” Armin admits, his voice calm and soothing despite what he was saying. “But I do know that our chances of seeing the wonders of the world are higher if we keep fighting than if we give up.”

It was just like him to say something like that, and it brought you comfort knowing that he was still the same brave boy you knew from back in the cadet corps, before everything had gotten so horribly confusing. What you hadn’t realized though, was that those traits of his that you admired so much, should’ve been the ones you’d feared.

Your heart had gone cold inside your chest when you heard that he’d tried to sacrifice himself during what everyone was calling the Battle of Shiganshina. However, calling it a battle was laughable. It had been more like a slaughter. Almost the entire scouting regiment had been completely wiped out, including Commander Erwin. You had no idea how you’d even made it out alive, and the only reason you still had Armin was due to the merciful intervention of Captain Levi and the precious titan serum that had been entrusted to him.

Armin wasn’t the same for a while after everything that had happened, and you couldn’t blame him. People were not shy about criticizing him for getting a second chance at life when so many others had died, including the brilliant commander who’d secured so many victories for humanity in the past. He kept to himself a lot, looking miserable at best. As the scouts pushed forward and began to make plans for what would come next, you thought things would get better, but Armin remained distant. He avoided you at meal times and always had an excuse not to be in the same room as you. It hurt you to see him act this way, so you bided your time until you found the chance to confront him.

“I thought it was obvious that we can’t be together anymore,” his voice was dead as if pushing you away didn’t have an effect on him at all.

“What?” tears had already sprung into your eyes, “That makes no sense at all, Armin. Why would you think that?”

“I’ve inherited the colossal titan,” he explains after a sigh. “My life has an expiration date now. Thirteen years… and then I’ll die.” Of course that had been a hard tidbit of information to swallow at first, and your heart still panged with sadness when you thought about it.

“That means we should make the most of the time we still have together, doesn’t it?” You ask weakly. “I know having the colossal titan is a heavy burden to bear, but I’m more than willing to stay by your side and help lighten the load.”

Something in Armin suddenly snaps and he gets a wild look on his face as tears spring into his eyes. “You don’t understand!” His voice was louder now and you flinch away as he points both his hands at himself frantically. “It should be Commander Erwin standing here right now! Not me! It’s not just the burden of carrying the colossal titan. I also have to try and prove that my life was worth saving over his! Somehow, I have to live up to the standards and expectations he left behind!”

“Armin…” You weren’t sure what to say. You’d never seen him look so distressed and unhinged. “Don’t listen to what everyone else has been saying. They weren’t there. They don’t know…”

“What they’re saying is right!” Armin insists, dragging a hand over his face as his thoughts continued to spiral into turmoil. “We just found out that there’s humanity outside the walls… whole nations that want to destroy us! And the greatest commander we’ve ever known is dead…”

“You’re just as great as him,” you pause for a moment before looking down in embarrassment. “That’s why I fell in love with you.”

“And that’s why I have to let you go,” the comment comes out sounding strangled and you look back up at him wearily.

“I don’t understand,” you admit, his rejection hitting you hard and sending waves of sadness and embarrassment through you.

“I heard someone say that Erwin was only such a great leader because he was able to turn himself into a devil, able to make unbelievable sacrifices for the good of the people as a whole,” Armin explains, his voice back to the flat emotionless tone from before. “If I ever hope to be even a fraction of the man he was, I’ll have to give up my humanity too. I can’t make decisions based on who I care about or what my own personal dreams are for the future. I just… can’t be with you.”

You stare at him in disbelief for a moment, letting it all sink in. That spark you’d always seen in his eyes was still there, but darker somehow. Standing before you was the same brave and determined boy you’d met all those years ago, just a different version. He’d never run away from anything in his life, and it was clear that he wasn’t going to run away from the duties that had been placed upon him now. It was just painful knowing the things you loved most about Armin, were the exact traits that ended up breaking your heart.

“I see,” you swallow back your sadness and force a smile. “Well, I know that if victory is possible for us on this little island, it’ll be you who leads us there.”

“Thank you,” Armin nods his head solemnly. “I hope you’re right.”

As he turns and walks away, you try to console yourself as best you can. In truth, Armin’s selflessness only made you love and respect him all the more. And even if he talked about throwing away his humanity, you knew there was no way he’d ever truly harden his heart to the people he cared about. Perhaps if you both made it out of this alive, you’d be able to help him find himself again, and explore all the beautiful places he’d always dreamed of seeing.

[svtkillua]

little lion man > 3

rating: [pg-13 / angst] pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader x todoroki shouto warnings: cursing, lots of yummy angst >:)) word count: 8.7k listen while you read here!

join the discord!

ch.1 + ch.2 + ch.3 + ch.4 (final) + alt. ending

Having a secret for so long that suddenly becomes public was uncomfortable and dread inducing. A part of you you’d kept locked away from prying eyes for years had not only been thrown into the spotlight, but shown to the one person you hadn’t wanted to see it. You felt naked, you hadn’t been ready to let the world know you were completely in love with Bakugou Katsuki, but at the same time, you couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. The weight of keeping it hidden was gone off your shoulders but they still remained sagged from the pain in your chest.

He knew you loved him even if you hadn’t said the words, he had to know. Why else would you have had that reaction to him proposing to another girl? You could still see the pained look on his face when he’d seen you crying, a wave of guilt washing over you.

It wasn’t Bakugou’s fault he had hurt you, it was yours. You had never told him you loved him. You had never made a move to let him know that you wanted to be more than friends. Just because in your head it’d seemed obvious, didn’t mean it was to him. You had been scared, scared of the rejection and the pain you would feel if your friendship was ruined. You never let yourself risk anything more because what you had was important to begin with.

He hadn’t known he was tearing you apart by giving you every detail of his relationship. He hadn’t known that all the touches he gave you meant so much, nor did he know that every second you saw them together was like torture. You were so in pain just knowing they were dating, let alone now that they were engaged, but in the aftermath you’d been realizing that the blame wasn’t on him. It was on you.

You did this to yourself, and you were now dragging everyone else down with you.

Your body curled deeper into the blankets around you, bloodshot eyes half closed as your focus remained out the window. The curtains were drawn back so the sun could shine through, it warming the skin of your bare thigh the blanket had fallen off of. The bathroom door opening quietly behind you didn’t make you stir, figure un-moving as your cheek squished against the pillow.

His feet were quiet behind you as he moved towards his dresser, your fingers picking at the soft blanket surrounding your stomach and chest. The silence felt comfortable, your eyes sore from the consistent crying the past few nights. The bed dipped beside your head, your body lulling onto its back and your vision focusing up on Todoroki.

He was staring at you with a blank expression, his hand resting on your shoulder. His thumb moved in soft back and forth motions over the tense muscles and you felt yourself relaxing enough to close your eyes when he spoke.

“Are you alright?” His voice sounded gentle, calming even, as his bare torso shifted, his back resting against the headboard. His light grey joggers felt soft when his knee brushed against your forearm from how he had them folded.

“No.” You laughed quietly, opening your eyes back up to look at him, a small smile on his own face, though his eyes showed worry. You were thankful he didn’t stare at you like you were pitiful, despite that being exactly how you felt. You felt pitiful and sad and broken, like all you wanted to do was sleep but your nerves were too strung out to relax.

“You know you can’t just hide out in my apartment forever.” He spoke quietly, hand moving from your shoulder and instead shifting up to your hair, brushing it off your forehead. “I like having you here, but eventually you’re going to have to do something. You can’t avoid him forever.”

You nodded, turning your head to the side to look out the window again, his fingers still lightly combing through your hair. You knew he was right, you’d been holed up in his apartment for days and doing little more besides crying and showering. Five days had passed since Bakugou proposed and you fell apart, and those five days were spent self destructing.

You’d been avoiding everyone besides Todoroki, only once responding to Kaminari when he wouldn’t quit asking him if you were okay. You mostly stayed in bed, balled up in the sheets and thinking about all the wrong decisions you’d made to get yourself to this point.

Bakugou had called you that night, fifty-two times to be exact. Every time the voicemail came up he’d hung up and called again, for hours. You didn’t answer once, nor did you respond to his texts begging you to please come talk to him or to let him know where you were. You couldn’t face him, not now. Not now that there was no way he didn’t know you were completely in love with him.

The thought made you grow anxious, you weren’t even sure what to do. You couldn’t be in your own apartment, there were too many taunting memories. Todoroki had been there beside you helping you through it all but you felt guilty, like you were driving a wedge between himself and Bakugou. It wasn’t hard to see that the pair weren’t happy with each other that night he proposed. Todoroki had looked like he wanted to knock his teeth out then and there in the parking lot.

“Are you trying to kick me out?” You joked quietly, his soft laughter resonating in your ear as you turned your head back up towards him. His large hands came up to cup your cheeks, though they were upside down. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, before flicking it right in the middle with his knuckle.

“Of course, not. Don’t be stupid.” He chided. The corners of his lips were turned upwards as his hands slipped off your face and he moved to stand, tugging on his shirt he’d sat on the nightstand previously. “Though you are an awful roommate, haven’t cooked me dinner once.”

His joking tone made it easy to laugh, your eyes rolling as you pushed yourself upright in bed, his eyes wandering over you quickly. You had been stealing his clothes all week, you hadn’t gone back to your place and you definitely couldn’t sleep and wallow in self pity in that horrible dress. You were wearing one of Todoroki’s old t-shirts and a pair of old boxer briefs that served as your shorts.

“You love cooking, I was doing you a favor, really.” You argued, tilting your head to the side, rolling it around on your shoulders to try and stretch out the strained muscles. Here in Todoroki’s bed felt like a safe haven, no one could see you cry here. No one would remind you of the bad decisions you’d made to make you cry, either. Todoroki never pressured you to talk, and when you did start to vent he was a willing ear there to listen and comfort you. You couldn’t help but think he deserved better than this.

“Sure.” Todoroki rolled his eyes as he stretched, sliding a sweatshirt over his chest and tugging it down as he focused on you. “I have to go to train, okay? If you need me call me, I’ll answer.”

You nodded and gave him a small, lackluster smile as he sighed, but left, the sound of the door shutting ringing in your ears a few minutes later. You exhaled loudly, fingers drumming into the mattress below you as you took a glance over at your phone. The temptation to call Bakugou was high, fingers practically itching to dial the numbers. The moment you were alone you wanted nothing more than to hear his playful insults and feel his warmth against your skin.

You missed him, you missed him so damn much even though thinking of him made you want to break down again. You wanted to know how he was and if he was okay and if he hated you now. You wanted to know if he was thinking of you as much as you were thinking of him. You wanted to call him and say you were sorry for making him be in this situation but all you could do was sit and stare at the device beside you. Calling him would do more damage than good and you knew that, but it didn’t make your natural pull towards him just go away.

Your fist rubbed away the stray tear that slid against the side of your nose as you rose to your feet, shuffling over to peek out the window. It was warm inside but outside was frigid, the sun covered by clouds and casting a grey shadow over every surface. Your fingers skimmed along the window pane, puffing out a breathe of air that fogged against the glass.

Todoroki was right, you needed to do something, something that would help you begin moving on and putting the pieces of yourself back together. You couldn’t even think straight anymore, it felt like chunks of the puzzle were missing but you had no idea where to find them. Your heart still felt achy and your muscles were still weak. You felt like a minimized version of yourself that wasn’t working properly.

You noticed Todoroki’s apartment key sitting on dresser by the door when you turned your head, eyes rolling as you slid it onto your palm. You stared at the metal for a moment before, as if on que, hearing a knock on the front door. You laughed softly, a teasing smile on your lips as you walked up to the door, throwing it open.

“See, aren’t you glad I’m here n-”

Your words were cut off when you realized it wasn’t Todoroki in front of you.

It was Camie.

She looked beautiful as ever despite the dark circles under her eyes, a jacket wrapped tightly around her petite form. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise at your lack of long pants and a shirt that very obviously belonged to Todoroki. You self consciously tugged the shirt down more, it covering your shorts as you swallowed the nervous feeling bubbling up in your own stomach.

Why was she here? How had she known where you were? Was she here to tell you to stay away? Maybe she wanted to punch you for ruining her birthday dinner.

“What are you doing here?” Your voice came across meek, your fingers curling into your palms as you tried to appear stronger than you felt, your mind exploding with the possibilities of what she could want. You weren’t sure Camie liked you much to begin with but after ruining her birthday party and causing a huge scene right after she’d gotten engaged, you doubted you were her favorite person. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, crossing one leg over her other as you cleared your throat “How did you know I was here?”

You could feel the resentment in your gut as you looked at her, the girl who’d gotten what you wanted. Your body felt strung out, like she wasn’t really there and you were just hallucinating from your lack of sleep. You’d been picturing her in a wedding dress so much the past few days you really wouldn’t have been surprised if it was just in your head.

“I got Kaminari to tell me.” Her voice was, as usual, soft and polite as she hesitantly took a step forward, your body sluggishly moving aside so she could come in. The door clicked with the force of your palm, her body moving over to the sofa and taking a seat. Your heart was pounding away in your chest as you slowly walked over, but took a seat on the chair furthest from her, when she spoke again. “I needed to talk to you.”

“Talk about what?” You questioned, crossing your legs over each other and folding your hands on your lap in an attempt to stop looking as tense as you felt. You’d never been alone with Camie before, you’d barely even spoken to her really, and yet here she was across from you wanting to talk about something that was making her usual soft exterior look hard and tired despite her even voice. “If this is about your birthday…”

“About you.” She cut you off and you shifted uncomfortably, silently wishing it had been Todoroki at the door, “There’s a lot that’s gone on you don’t know about and I think you need to.”

Something about her matter of fact octave made you narrow your eyes at her. She sounded like she had all the answers and you were confused as to why. Did she know something you didn’t? Did she even know that you had all but told Bakugou you’re in love with him? Why would she want to help you with information when you’d ruined her night just days ago?

“What are you talking about?” Your heart was pounding at an alarming rate as your mind wandered all the possibilities. Her demeanor made the room feel ominous, like a dark cloud was looming over you just waiting for a the right moment to pour out the rain.

“We’d been going out for about a month when Kaminari told me.” Camie said cryptically and looked away from you, instead staring at the dark colored wall, her fingertip dragging back and forth over the faux leather sofa. She came across forced,  like she didn’t want the actual words to come out of her perfectly painted red lips.

“Kaminari told you what?” You questioned, face scrunching up, baffled, your teeth biting down on your bottom lip, the flesh tender from doing it so much lately.

“That Bakugou was using me to make you jealous.” She said it like it didn’t bother her in the slightest but you could see the flash of pain in her eyes. Your lip slipped out from under your teeth’s grip, lungs tightening as the words processed.

“What?”

“That he was using me to make you jealous.” She repeated, turning her gaze to look at you again, her lips parting as she let out a heavy sigh before speaking again, “That Bakugou was in love with you.”

The room felt like it was flipped upside down, your heart slamming against your rib cage as you looked down at your knees, confused and unsure of what to do with this information. Was it even true? Why would Kaminari have told her that if it wasn’t?

“I think he took pity on me, seeing that I was starting to really like Bakugou. He didn’t want me to get hurt because of Bakugou’s irrationality. I think he’d assumed I’d break up with him, but I didn’t. I wanted him.” Camie explained, her hands lifting up to brush her curtained bangs away from her face. She looked wounded, as if this was something she hadn’t ever wanted to say out loud, “I was falling in love with him and I was sure I could make him love me too.”

“In retrospect I knew it was a bad decision. Even when he started to grow deeper feelings for me, I couldn’t trust that you weren’t still in the back of his mind. He was falling in love with me like I’d wanted but I never let him get over you.” She continued, edging forward in her seat so her toes could reach the ground, shoes tapping lightly into the dark wooden floors. “I almost thought I’d won him over, and then we went over to your place for dinner and I just knew.”

The way her voice wavered at the end made a feeling of irrational guilt spread in your stomach. He’d gotten so quickly into Camie that it was baffling he’d even had time to develop feelings for you, but her earnest voice was making it all seem so true. A bitter escaped her as she shook her head lazily.

“I knew as soon as he hugged you, the way he was gripping onto you so desperately. How he practically forgot I was there when he’d tried to get you to sit with him. That whole night he complained about how touchy Todoroki was with you. He’s not the best at hiding his feelings when he’s annoyed.” She mumbled the last bit as she folded her arms across her chest, growing quiet.

The sounds of your quiet breathing was the only audible sound, the air feeling thick around you. Your eyes were on her delicate features as she stared down at her lap, her sunshine yellow coat clashing with her dimly colored surroundings. She looked defeated, like she’d been trying to convince herself she was wrong about everything going on around her.

Maybe you hadn’t been the only one Bakugou was unintentionally hurting.

Your mind was reeling with too much information being pumped into it. You’d barely begun getting back to functioning again and now you were sent right back into the haze that is Bakugou. Your eyes shifted up to Camie’s face, her eyes now on you.

“I hated you, I hated you so much for a long time because I couldn’t get his attention how you did. I was so jealous every time you guys were alone. I would say such shitty things about you and he’d get so mad, it drove me nuts. I did everything I was supposed to do, everything he loved. I finally got his heart, and yet you’re still the one he went running after.”

“Why are you telling me this?’  You mumbled, picking at your thumb nail aimlessly as you stared back at her. You never tried to push a wedge into their relationship, but had you unintentionally? This entire time you’d been envious of her when she was insecure about you, and that was perplexing.

“Because I know you love him, I’ve known since I met you. Best friends don’t look at each other how you look at him. I love Bakugou, but I don’t want to be his second choice. I think he cares about me too, I know he does, he loves me. Just lately he seems confused, like he’s not sure what he’s feeling. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t think he’s still harboring feelings for you, though.”  Camie sighed, pausing as her hands slipped onto the sofa and gripped the edge of it. “The way he looked after you left crying the other night…I’ve never seen him that upset before.”

“Is he okay?” You asked before you could think, the words blurting out like a reflex, your body sorrowful with the thought of being the one making him upset. Part of you felt frustrated with him, if he had loved you why had he never said anything? Then again, neither had you.

“I wouldn’t know, he hasn’t been home in days.”

“What?” You asked, eyes widening and your body straightening up. She looked tired, physically and emotionally, like she’d been struggling to hold herself together and you were sure you looked very similar. The entirety of time you’d known of Camie you’d been envious of everything she had and everything she was. She seemed like she’d had everything all together, but now, alone and in front of you, she looked broken. Broken because she wasn’t sure the man she loved loved her quite as much.

“He won’t answer my calls, he hasn’t been back to his apartment, I can’t find him. I don’t know where he is or what he’s doing.” Camie said simply, body moving upright. Her diamond ring sparkled as she lifted her hands up to tighten her jacket around her slim waist, making your stomach twist uncomfortably. This was all too much to take in. “I should get going, I have class.”

Your body stayed frozen for a moment as she walked herself to the door, her heels clicking against the wood. She paused once she gripped the door handle and turned to look at you, a sad smile on her lips as she spoke.

“None of us can do this forever. I know you care about him, so figure out what you want to do.”

With that, she was gone, the door closing behind her and enveloping you in an uncomfortable, stuffy silence. Your palms pressed together as you bowed your head towards the ground, pulling your legs up and against your chest.

You thought back to all of your memories with Bakugou and swallowed the lump forming in your throat. You had so many questions and basically no answers for them. Had all the guys known he had feelings for you? Did they all know you did for him now? Had he really asked Camie out to try and make you jealous?

Bakugou wasn’t the type to willingly hurt people, so you could imagine even if it started out of a not so good motive, he’d developed feelings for her rather quickly, otherwise he would have broken it off. It was obvious he loved her, as obvious as it seemed to be to Camie that he cared for you. You could see it when they were together that she obviously made him happy, so why was Camie acting like she had lost a fight? Could it be possible he really harbored feelings for you both?

It all felt surreal, like the plot to a movie you’d surely hate, with a love triangle that left everyone upset and broken inside. From Camie’s perspective you’d be the villain, the girl who showed up and threw a wrench in her perfect relationship. Only that perfect relationship had apparently been built on a lie and you were just now finding out about it.

You groaned and flopped back on the sofa, folding your arms across your face and inhaling sharply. You wished you were miles away in a little cottage with no troubles on your mind besides deciding what you’d have for dinner. You willed your feelings to just go away so you’d not have to worry about what to do now. What were you even supposed to do now. You squeezed your eyes closed, chest feeling shallow, like your lungs had caved in. You didn’t know how you ended up here, but you knew you needed answers.

You needed to know if what Camie was saying was true.

Your fist rapped on the door to the training room, hair pulled back into a messy bun and nerves brewing up in your veins. You peeked through the glass, counting seven heads inside and breathing a sigh of relief when none of them looked like Bakugou. Camie hadn’t been lying about him being MIA, evidently.

Midoriya answered the door after the background music cut off, a smile making his cheeks bunch up as he opened the door wider realizing it was you. “Hey, come in.”

The room felt hot, the boys all panting and getting drinks of water during their short break. Tsuyu was curled up in the corner by Tokoyami, watching something on a phone that had them both giggling. Kirishima was stood beside Shindo as they talked about some special offensive move, both of them too in their heads to notice you. Todoroki had however, his hair covered by a ball cap and his sweatshirt from earlier folded neatly by the side of the room as he quickly made his way over to you.

“You okay?” He questioned, eyebrows raised slightly, surprised to see you here considering this morning you didn’t even wanna leave his bed. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his joggers, tilting his head backwards some to see you better under the bill of his cap. 

“I need to talk to you, and Kaminari.” You explained mutely, stepping a bit closer to him as you could feel eyes on the pair of you. It wasn’t silly as to why some of them would be starring, you’d been spending a lot of time with Todoroki lately. Not to mention you were still wearing one of his shirts, just now it was paired with an old pair of basketball shorts. It didn’t exactly send a look of friendship as much as relationship. “It’s important.”

Todoroki bobbed his head in a yes, his hand landing on your elbow as he called Kaminari’s name, the tall boy rushing over and smiling widely at you. His arms looped around your middle, picking you up off the ground til just the tips of your shoes were touching, the hug tight and crushing but incredibly comforting. You found yourself laughing faintly, shaking your head as he placed you back on your heels. It made your anxiety lessen just a bit, Todoroki nodding for the pair of you to move over to the corner of the room with him.

You sat cross legged beside Todoroki on the bench against the wall, Kaminari’s long legs spread out in a v shape on the floor in front of you as you took a shaky breathe, not sure where to start. Your mind was still a jumbled mess, so you blurted out the first thing that popped up in your brain.

“Did Bakugou have feelings for me?”

Both of them remained tight lipped at your question, Todoroki stilling beside you, while Kaminari’s eyes flickered everywhere around the room but to yours. You weren’t sure if it was because he didn’t want to tell you no or if he didn’t want to tell you something you weren’t supposed to know. Todoroki cleared his throat finally and maneuvered his muscular arms across his chest, speaking quietly.

“He did. Before he started dating Camie.”

Kaminari looked up at you finally, his eyes full of guilt as he squeezed his hands together, nodding in agreement. He looked somber, the emotion looking wrong on his usually cheerful exterior.

“When he asked her out he thought it would make you jealous, he was too chicken to just tell you he liked you.” Kaminari sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “I told him it was a bad idea but he didn’t listen to me. I tried to tell Camie what was going on but she didn’t seem phased. I thought maybe she’d break up with him, but clearly she didn’t.”

You nodded languidly as you leaned back into the arm of the couch, Todoroki’s hand hesitantly resting on your knee and giving it a benevolent squeeze. You looked over to see him nibbling on his bottom lip, before looking back at Kaminari.

“He started to like her after a few months, he fell in love with her and I guess we all thought he’d gotten over you, but then at your house a few weeks ago… When I walked in on you two in the kitchen, seeing him all desperate to get you to talk to him, I figured out he was starting to feel something for you again, or those emotions never completely went away.”

“He’s an idiot.” Todoroki grumbled and brushed his thumb over your knee absent mindedly “He shouldn’t have asked someone else out if he still had feelings for you. He’s not just hurting you, but he’s hurting her as well.”

He had an edge to his voice you hadn’t heard before, your hand landing on his and giving it a light pat. He looked over at you, sighing and using his thumb and index finger from his free hand to rub at his eyes.

“He’s really been confused about what he wants, and it’s not fair to any of you, but I know he cares about you both. He won’t talk to any of us, and I think it’s just because he’s not sure what to do. Him and Todoroki about got in a fist fight yesterday.” Kaminari said, Todoroki narrowing his eyes at him, apparently not wanting him to share that information.

“What?” You questioned, turning your body towards Todoroki, who was now avoiding looking at you. “You got in a fight?”

“He came to practice trying to get someone to tell him where you are. I knew you didn’t want to  see him so I didn’t tell him. You’ll talk to him when you’re ready.” Todoroki explained, shrugging his shoulders “He wouldn’t back off. I’m tired of him making you feel like shit, he’s being selfish. He can’t just drag the both of you along, on purpose or not.”

You rubbed at your eyes with the heels of your palms, Kaminari sighing heavily and reaching forward to pat your leg. You looked at him through your fingers and he frowned, running his free hand through his messy hair, his forehead shiny with sweat.

“I’m sorry, he made me swear I wouldn’t tell you about it when he came up with the plan in the first place.” He was drumming his fingers against the light wood flooring, “I tried to get him to just talk to you about things, but you know how stubborn he can be. He was scared he’d lose you.

You just nodded, staring at your lap and letting your mind wander. You wanted to cry again but for completely different reasons than you had been lately. It was all too much, too much to think about and too much to fuck up your already unstable emotions. Everywhere you looked there was a reminder that your life was falling to pieces and no one could help you fix it.

Everything felt too quiet, most of the boys had stopped their chattering and were now watching the three of you, which made your neck feel hot. You stood, brushing Todoroki’s hand off your knee as you did so, his duo-coloured eyes watching you move.

“I gotta go.” You said quickly, making a move towards the door, Todoroki’s loud sigh audible behind you but you didn’t stop, giving a quick wave to everyone before slipping out, shutting the door behind you.

The air felt cold against your arms as you walked, regretting not taking one of his jackets before you’d left Todoroki’s place. You wanted to scream. You wanted to scream so loud your lungs would give out and you’d be left with no thoughts in your head. You were so lost and conflicted and tired, so so tired that you just wanted to sleep.

You needed to get away, from all of this. You needed a break to sort out all the things clogging up your head. You hated being away from everyone, but you needed to be. You needed to be alone with just yourself and your thoughts and your mind.

The idea of just grabbing your passport and leaving on a whim made your stomach churn with nerves. Could you really do that? Could you really just pack up your things and leave? Could you let go of everything holding you here and have time to figure things out? Maybe that was exactly what you needed; distance from reality.

Your limbs felt heavy, dragging you so your body walked at half speed towards your apartment door. It looked menacing, leering at you and taunting you of what laid behind it. All the pictures and memories you were trying so hard to tuck away and never pull out again, they were waiting just beyond the wooden surface. You inhaled sharply as you paused just outside, before letting your hand land on the brass knob, turning it, and slipping inside.

Everything seemed normal, like your world hadn’t exploded just a few days before. The walls were still covered in the old photos, your piano still sat in the corner by the big windows, everything felt still and silent. Your shoes made a dull thud as you slipped them off by the door, walking further into your apartment, desperate for a long bath to think.

Your bedroom was quiet, the curtains drawn almost shut, light coming from the small lamp on your bedside table. One of the blankets had been tossed on the floor, landing in a heap beside the foot of the bed, your closet doors open and a few boxes knocked over inside. Then, in the middle of the bed with a pillow against his chest and his eyes closed, was Bakugou.

His hair was a complete mess, parts of it sticking up and fanning over the pillow, parts of it sticking down near his eyes. His lips were open, breathing slow and his chest rising and falling in rhythm. His eyes were puffy and red rimmed, his fingers digging into your pillow he had hugged against his middle. He must have used his key to get in, one you gave him for emergencies, which he apparently decided this was.

You gradually moved further into the room, walking silently towards the bed, where he had just mumbled and rolled onto his back, his arms and legs spread out like a starfish. You hated the way it made your lips curl up at the ends, your heart slowing in your chest as you watched him. It was infuriating how he could simultaneously break your heart and make it pound all at the same time.

Part of you wanted to let him sleep forever, just peaceful and in your bed where nothing could make the calm look on his face twist to one of pain or sadness, but a larger part of you needed to talk to him. You’d been avoiding it but you knew that you did, you couldn’t avoid it forever, even if that was tempting. Whatever this was, it couldn’t stay like this, it wasn’t fair to any of you.

Your body lazily shifted to the head of the bed, sitting down beside his shoulder as you watched him hug the pillow tighter. Your fingers reached out, pushing his hair off his face, making him stir and scrunch his face up.

“Katsu.” You whispered, not wanting to startle him, fingertips feeling burned as you skimmed the skin of his arm. You bit down on your bottom lip, giving his shoulder a light shake. “Bakugou, wake up.”

His eyes fluttered open, looking glazed over and dazed as he tried to see in the dimly lit room, his hands coming up and rubbing at them. Once he focused up on you, it was like he registered in his brain who you were, his body springing up right within seconds. His hands came up to wrap around your waist, yanking you into him and burying his head into your hair.

“Thank gosh.” He sounded relieved, like he thought he was never going to see you again. His hands pressed into your spine, pulling you as close as you could get to his chest. He smelled incredible, like crisp, clean sheets mixed with an expensive cologne that drove your senses crazy. “I was beginning to wonder if you were gonna ignore me forever.”

“I thought about it.” You mumbled into his chest, dropping your eyes shut, half joking but half serious. Your fingers brushed down his back as he sighed into your hair, his lips puckering and brushing against your scalp.

“Don’t say that.” His voice came out muffled from your current position, but you could hear the sadness lacing it. He pulled his head away, his arms staying loosely wrapped around your middle as he stared down at you. His ruby eyes were bloodshot, his bottom lip chapped from biting it so often.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re trying to read my mind.” You looked up at him as you spoke, folding your arms over your chest. He reached up and pushed your hair behind your ear like always, grazing your cheek as they moved away. You let out a deep exhale as he brushed his thumb along your hip.  “If you want to know something than ask me.”

He stared at you silently for a moment, his lashes fluttering as he flicked his line of sight all over your face. He swallowed roughly, his eyes finally settling on yours as he spoke.

“When you left Camie’s birthday party, after I proposed, why did you get upset?” His eyes were glued to you, to your every move and reaction, like he was trying to see if what he was thinking was right. You shook your head at him, moving backwards from his grip on the bed and pulling your legs up to your chest, hiding into yourself.

“I think you know why, Katsu.” You said simply, voice quiet and forced as you stared at your feet. You wiggled your toes around, staring at them like they were the most interesting thing in the room. “I know you know why, actually, you’re not stupid.”

He sighed beside you, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck as he watched the side of your face. You could feel his gaze burning holes into your skin but didn’t turn your neck to look back, not having the stomach for it.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He whispered and his hand brushed against yours. He easily tugged it towards him, slotting your fingers together and holding on tight.

“Why do you think?” You laughed bitterly, glancing over at him as your eyes stung. “You’re my best friend and you’re in a happy relationship. I wasn’t going to fuck that up just because I had feelings for you.”

“You should have told me.” He huffed, licking his lips and letting your hand go to stand up. He walked over towards your window, running his hands through his hair exasperatedly. “You shouldn’t have just assumed you knew how I felt.”

“You have a girlfriend Katsu, fiancee, now, actually. How exactly do you think I thought you felt about me?” Your stomach knotted at his words, choking down the frustrating emotions filling your esophagus. “She came and talked to me this morning by the way.”

You could see his back muscles tense, his arms folding over his chest and flexing in a manner that looked uncomfortable. He turned towards you, leaning his back into the window sill and staring just past you towards the other side of the room.

“She told me that you used to have feelings for me before you two started dating, that Kaminari told her you were using her to make me jealous.” You added, staring at his face to gauge his reaction. “Is that true?”

“So what if it is?” He sounded nervous as he finally looked at you, his hands dropping to his sides and shoving into his pants. His fingers were drumming against his thighs inside them, the fabric rustling.

“Why wouldn’t you have told me that? Why would you start dating someone if you liked me?” Even saying out loud that he liked you felt funny on your tongue, the idea something you never seemed to think would be true but had so desperately wanted.

“Probably for the same reason you didn’t tell me, I didn’t want to lose you.” He shrugged and gazed at you intensely, “It’s not like I could tell you once I was with her either. I knew it bothered her but I was too selfish to just let you go. You’re my best friend, I thought maybe the feelings would just go away after awhile.”

He paused as he started to pace, his head tilting back towards the ceiling and his eyes falling shut as he exhaled.

“I started to fall for her, I really did. It was so much easier when we were both busy and I couldn’t see you. I fell in love with her and it felt so right that for a while I figured it’d worked out, even if my intentions weren’t that great to begin with. Then when I brought her over to your place and I saw you again, I just…I knew. I knew I still had feelings for you.”

You were silent, taking his words in as they flowed out of his beautiful lips, gripping the comforter under you so tight your knuckles lost all blood flow.  Your heartbeat was thumping in your fingertips and toes, a faint ringing in your ears as his words settled in the air.

Your heart was screaming for someone to say something but neither of you spoke, your body raising and your arms folding across your chest, your stance much like Bakugou’s. Standing here in front of him, hearing him say he had feelings for you felt surreal. You’d always pictured yourself being so happy if he confessed to you. You’d pictured him holding you in his arms and whispering that he loved everything about you.

You never imagined it would be explained in such soft tones along with him detailing how he loved someone else. You never imagined that it would hurt quite this much to love someone. It hurt to love Bakugou, it made your heart sear in your chest and your eyes burn like lit coals. You knew that regardless of your feelings now or his, that he still wasn’t yours. He still loved her, regardless of his feelings for you, and you knew you couldn’t do it anymore.

“I think I’m going to go away for a while, Katsu.” The words left your lips before you could think about them properly, the decision already made in your heart. You had to get away, you had to figure out who you were without him.

“What? No.” He said and immediately whipped his head towards you, shaking it side to side frantically, the panic bubbling up inside him. “You’re not leaving, you can’t leave. I need you here.”

“I have to, besides you have Camie now.”

“I don’t want her! I want you, I need you.” He rushed over, grabbing your elbows and pulling your body towards his chest despite your squirming. His eyes were becoming more reddened by the second, water collecting in the ducts.

“You don’t need me.” You whispered and looked at your feet, “You’re engaged. You’re gonna get married and you’re going to be so happy.”

“Not if you’re not here!” His tone was getting louder, agitation pumping through him as you pulled from his grasp, “I don’t know what to do, I don’t, I’ll admit that. But I know I need you here, I know I have feelings for you that are so strong I can’t ignore them, and I know that you feel it too.”

You felt the tears starting to drip slowly down your cheeks, hands shaking as you gripped your sides, hugging your own stomach as if trying to hold yourself and the pieces of your heart together. You felt the remaining cracks in your heart quaking and getting bigger when you looked up at him again and saw a tear slipping down his cheek, even as he tried to rub it away.

“I’m not going to let you throw away the person who makes you happy because I was too slow to tell you how I felt. You don’t need me, Katsu, you think you do because I make you feel comfortable. I missed my chance to have you, it’s gone.” You explained somberly, teeth clattering together as you tried to keep yourself from sobbing. He was staring at you rigidly, his lips parted as he hung on your every word, no longer trying to hide the few tears leaking from his eyes, “I should have told you such a long time ago, and that’s something I’m going to regret for the rest of my life.”

“I don’t want to lose you.” Bakugou’s cracked voice was barely audible as he stepped closer to you. He looked so beautiful even with his eyes filled with mild panic and his bottom lip trembling. His hands were shaking as he lifted them up and rubbed at his cheeks again, hard enough to turn his skin light pink.

“Please don’t cry.” You whispered, hands reaching up and cupping his cheeks, dragging away the wet trails with your thumbs, your own cheeks soaked with your sadness.

“Don’t go.” He begged, repeating himself as his hands gripped your waist and held it tight, as if he could keep you in this spot forever. “Please, I’ll figure things out, I’ll give you space if you need it, just please stay.”

“Bakugou, please don’t make this hard.” You whimpered, moving your hands off his face, but his own just whipped up and grabbed yours, hugging them against his chest that was trembling as his tears fall more freely. You could feel his heart beating away through the material of his t-shirt and tried to memorize the rhythm.

“What about what I want? What if I decided already that I want you?” His voice was growing frustrated as he gripped your hands. He was holding them so tightly his knuckles were growing white as he spoke with desperation. “I want you, I want to hold you and kiss you and tell you all the things I never said when I should have. Does that not matter?”

“It doesn’t matter because you love her!” You snapped, “You proposed to her, you have her pictures on your walls and her in your heart. You feel safe with me Bakugou, you’ve known me long enough to not be scared of what could happen with us, that’s all this is. You never once were thinking of me when you developed feelings for her, if you were then you wouldn’t have developed those feelings. “

“You don’t know that.” He said loudly, throwing his hands up into the air as he shook his head, turning from you and walking across the room, beginning to pace again.

“Do you know what it’s like to watch the person you love love someone else, Bakugou?” Your eyes were blurry as more tears built up, your throat feeling like his hands were around it choking you when you tried to speak. Your breathing was becoming shaky, voice thick with from your crying. “It’s the most painful thing in the entire universe. It takes all of your good thoughts about yourself and consumes them, turning them into fuel for the self hatred it forms. I don’t like who I am anymore. I don’t like waking up every morning wanting to cry because you don’t love me.”

“I do love you.” His voice cut in, his body turning towards you again, eyes boring into yours from across the room. “I love you so much, more than I can explain.”

“You may love me, but you’re not in love with me. “ You wavered as you looked away from him, his heart breaking gaze too much to take when you were already having a breakdown. “There’s a difference and you know it. Distance is what we both need, so you can focus on Camie and I can try and move on from these feelings like you started to.”

“I haven’t fucking moved on!” His voice was so loud it made you jump, it reverberating around the small space and filling every corner. “Don’t you get that? Don’t you understand that seeing you with another guy makes me want to fucking explode? Do you think I don’t see how damn beautiful you are when you smile or feel how huge your laughter makes my heart swell? Do you think all that just went away because I started moving on?”

“It has to!” You snapped right back at him, your head lifting up to let your eyes meet, “Whatever chance we had is gone! We both waited too long, way way too long.”

“Stop fucking saying that!” He shouted, his eyes full of anger, perhaps at you or perhaps at the situation you’d both landed yourselves in, the warm tears flowing full force from him now. “You don’t get to just decide when our chance is over. You don’t get to just pick that we never get a shot!”

“We had a shot! We had a shot and we were both too fucking chicken to do anything about it and now that shot is gone!” You argued, hands tugging through your hair exasperatedly, body tired from crying and chest sore with the sobs still fighting to get out. He stared at you for a moment before his body was charging him across the room to you, face distraught.

“No.” He decided, feet carrying him to directly in front of you, his hands raising up and cupping your cheeks before you could process what was happening. “No it’s not.”

And then, his lips were pressed onto yours.

Your back was pressed against the wall behind you, his body molded against yours and his hands delicately holding you against him, his lips moving languidly. The kiss was desperate and needy, his hands leaving your face only to grab at your middle, arms then sliding around it. Your own hands found their way to his biceps as your slotted together lips muffled your crying.

It felt like everything, everything you’d ever wanted and everything in your heart you knew you couldn’t have, not now anyway, not while his heart still belonged to someone else, at least partly. His tears slipped between your lips, the kiss salty against your tongue. He lifted his hands to cradle your neck as a quiet, muffled cry fell past his own lips that were still pressing into yours.

He was everywhere inside you, in every single bone of your body, in every muscle that tensed and moved as he pulled you tighter to him, your leg slipping between his. He filled your senses in a way only Bakugou could, and you savored the kiss because it may be the only one you ever had. The one kiss to solidify that you had both broken eachother’s hearts without even trying, that you had murdered the chances you both were presented.

Because it was too late, it was to late now and he knew it even if his desperate kisses were trying to prove himself otherwise. Your time had come and gone and now you were both left broken, half of your hearts given to the other but never held how it was supposed to have been.

The kiss felt like so much, like all the things you’d wished you had done differently. All the times you had almost kissed him or held him. All the times you’d almost said those three simple words and changed everything. All those times he’d nearly held you too long, the times he’d spent late at night contemplating calling you and saying everything he ever felt.

But most of all, it felt like a goodbye.

A goodbye you never wanted to have.

“Please don’t go.” He hiccuped against your lips as you pulled away, his forehead pressing into yours as your breathes mixed together between you. “Please, I’ll do anything.”

You wanted to give in so badly, to just stay and live in the little bubble Bakugou was trying to make. To pretend you didn’t care he’d have unresolved feelings for another woman, to pretend that your life wasn’t a complete mess, but you couldn’t.

So when he laid you on the bed and kept whispering how much he loved you into your ear mixed with his sobbing, you let him. You let him whisper all the things to you you’d wished he had said sooner. You let yourself pretend that this wasn’t just for the night. You tricked yourself into believing that love was enough.

You let yourself pretend to sleep in his arms while your tears grew silent and his rapid choked breathing grew even. You let yourself feel his arms around you all night long while you listened to his heart that beat in his chest and pretended it only belonged to you. You let yourself pretend that finally, finally he was yours.

But when the sun rose and poked through the curtains casting a faint red glow on his features, you detached yourself from his arms, the bubble bursting and fading into nothing. The feelings you’d finally let yourself have, if only for a few hours, enough to give you the strength to pull out of bed.

You pressed a faint kiss against his parted, sleeping lips, his figure curling into itself as one silent tear dripped from your face onto the sheets beside him. Your bottom lip trembled as you pulled away, grabbing your things from your dresser drawer quietly before heading for the door.

You paused as you gripped the door handle, taking one last look back at his sleeping figure as you bit your cheek and fought out a whisper to his deaf ears.

“I love you, Bakugou.”

And then, you were gone.

---------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @bnhatrashh​ @icyhotpie​ @domtamaki​ @daphnxy​ @yamichxnwrites​ @hokage-state-of-mind​ let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist for the last chapter!

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia CH 11

“Did I meet your friends last night?” Kirby asked as he unwrapped his crunchwrap in the driver's seat.

“uuh...kinda? Like Toby was with me when I gave you the Surge but you sorta just ran off with it.” you pause as you sip a bit of your Baja Blast. “Like a fucking gremlin.”

Kirby lets out a snort and lettuce drops from his mouth. He tries to hide his messy eating behind his hand. Failing miserably, you can't help but laugh at your friend.

“Wha' bout the other two? Kieth said you ditched 'em.” For a man who was trying to cover up his mouth he sure had the audacity to try and talk with his mouth full.

“They're Toby's roommates, I haven't talked to them too much.” he nods as you speak.

“Well I promise I'll be more...together,” he makes a sort of questioning sound as he debates if that was the word he was looking for. He can't really think of anything else so he settles for 'together'. “next weekend. They are coming right?”

After a brief pause he gets his mind back in place, “This weekend, picnic's this weekend.” You chuckle.

“Toby said they'd stop by. Don't think any are really people people.”

“People people?”

“Yup” not going to let Kirby rile you up as he often tries. Not that he could with his current brain power. Sleep haze still has him in it's hold despite being “up” for about an hour now.

Out of everyone in your friend group Kirby is probably the one you're closest to. Along with being a fellow Ace he's an ambivert and you two just instantly clicked over dumb D grade monster movies. He jokes you guys must be long lost siblings. Well he only started the sibling thing because multiple Hornets or other members of the committee kept thinking you guys were dating. Since then Kirby takes to purposefully calling you some variation of sibling when he shows any type of affection. It seems even just being referenced to being in a relationship squicks him out. You don't mind though you'd always wanted an older brother and Kirby is the exact type you would've wished for. The funny dork who was super easy to get along with.

Even when he steals your nachos...like he is now.

“I'm starting to understand the Cain Instinct.” you say looking him dead in the eyes. He lets out a roar of laughter and reminds you he bought “breakfast”.

“Dad tax and all that.”

“You're not my dad! Ugly ass doodoo head.”

“Is that what that kid said? I don't think that's right.” another thing you share is constantly referencing vines or tiktok sounds.

This of course led to an argument of what the kid actually said in the vine. Both of you were determined to get home and look it up to prove the other wrong.

After your breakfast Kirby started the truck as you put all the trash into the Taco Bell bag. You switch on his stereo much to his chagrin. Kirby got a CD stuck in the radio and now the only thing he can listen to is a meme mix tape he made back in high school. It was funny the first two months for him and now he prays that the novelty will ware off on you soon.

Though it has been a few weeks since he last drove you anywhere, and what can he say Discord is always a bop.

Kirby drops you off without much fanfare, you both agree to seeing each other next week at the picnic. Is it ironic that you want to call out for him to get some more sleep? Like you are the one who's been up since five AM and it's now eleven. But you have a medical condition, Kirby is just over worked and stressed beyond Hell and back.

Getting inside you have nothing really planned for today and while you could start heading out to thrifts to find something formal for Jo's recital you really don't feel like it. Productivity wise you've already had a pretty busy weekend so no one can really judge you for taking it easy and just merging with the couch for the rest of it. Even you, you can be so tough on yourself sometimes.

British Bake Off is just the thing you need to enjoy the rest of your weekend. A calming low stress but funny baking show. Just turn your brain off and lose yourself in the soothing monotone of the judges. It's nearly six in the evening when you finally shake off your lazy day haze.

Getting up, bakers still baking, you start making a simple dinner. Fried egg on toast sounds good. Also a good balance to your supreme nacho breakfast from this morning. Dressing one slice of toast in butter and the other with butter, a little mayo, and a dash of Tabasco before placing the egg on it. You head back to eat and continue watching the competition. Your meal fills you and gives the energy you need to continue “leisureing”.

After an hour you get up and wash the dishes from earlier. And while you have no energy to actually play any of your video games right now you do want to log in for your dailies.

A quick trip to your bedroom has you grabbing your laptop before returning back to the comfort of your living room. Couch calling you to it's cozy embrace. You half pay attention to what you're doing as you set up your laptop, muscles running on muscle memory more than any conscious effort on your part. You hadn't even noticed your hands flickering across the board and logging into your email.

By the time you do realize you aren't on your game's site you see you have a new email. It's from Barclay.

'Coming to ask for my help?' you think a little too smug that you'd been right about the cooking being too much for the man.

However, that wasn't what he was messaging you about. It seems he and Leo had been talking and the old man mentioned what your plans for cooking were.

Shortie,

Leo says you're making forager's pie for the picnic. Seasons ripe for ramps and mushrooms. You in for a little adventure through new unexplored territory?

...I'm hunting some lobster mushrooms, could use a hand or two Will share the bounty. ~Barclay sent 12:04 PM

An olive branch in hopes you weren't too sore about his rejection from earlier this week. The message and sentiment is lost on you since you got over that Thursday.

The idea of new terrain makes you a bit uneasy, however lobster mushrooms were pretty good and forage finds were really rare. Barclay grew up in these woods he probably knew what he was doing, not to mention he could easily know where to find ramps. Their flavor would really up your pie game. It's settled you're in for a forage date with big foot as your guide.

Am in Big Feet. When are we going? Sent 7:20 PM

Like with most things a waiting game began, down sides to living in a radio quiet community people weren't as attached to electronics because of the limited capabilities. But now that you know Barclay is emailing you, you can check your phone more often. Shutting down your laptop you close it before sliding it under your coffee table as you slide down the couch getting comfy.

It was two hours before Barclay got back to you.

Fantastic! Does Tuesday work? ~Barclay sent 9:42 PM

Barclay must be in a rush to get those mushrooms. You'd been thinking Thursday or Friday at the latest for the freshest mushrooms. Maybe he didn't need them for the picnic but a personal project. From what Jake has told you Barclay often falls into spells of testing out new ideas with the strangest of ingredients. With varying results but mainly positive ones.

Yea sure. Meet at the lodge after my shift? Sent 9:50 PM

Perfect see you then. ~Barclay sent 9:52 PM

Oki Sent 9:52 PM

Now that that has been settled you are free to continue your chill Sunday. Losing yourself to the lulling voices of the judges you hardly notice as you drift off. Warm in your throw blanket cocoon and cozy on the plush of your couch.

You jolt up right panting after being woken up by a loud bang. Or at least you thought you'd heard a bang, Sometimes auditory hallucinations came to you in your sleep no matter how well rested you were. The room around you is dark as the light from your TV is dimmed with Netflix's 'Are you still watching?' pop up mocking you for your marathon.

Without thinking you hit 'yes' and the bake off resumes. With the brightness restored you can see your living room and hallway are completely undisturbed. An auditory hallucination must have pulled you out of sleep. Nothing more, after all your stalker wouldn't get sloppy now, it's only been three weeks.

'That you know of.' seems to whisper and embed itself in your mind.

Shaking off the worrying thought you look at your phone to see it's now quarter till one. You are hungry and don't feel like cooking. Thankfully you have emergency white castles and fries in your freezer for this exact need. Getting up you go to the kitchen to microwave your food. Popping the fries in first you decide to head to the bathroom before that becomes a problem for you.

Before you go down the hallway you do end up grabbing the bat next to the bookshelf. The whisper from earlier clearly hasn't done much to settle your nerves after your rude awakening. Protection in hand you have a little less anxiety about walking down the dark hallway. You'd have to look into installing one of those cheap wall lamps from Home Depot to help you out in situations like this. Either that or a night light in your bathroom, you can probably get the night light done quicker. Maybe Leo sells them, you'll have to check next week.

You made it back to the kitchen after your bathroom break without any surprises, real or imaginary, jumping out at you. Replacing the fries inside your microwave with sliders, you snack on a few while you wait for the rest of your meal.

It's probably paranoia but you can't blame yourself for it as you continue to keep an ear out for any sound of abnormal movement within your home, as you eat and have the bake show low enough to catch the sounds of another person. None come, and you finish your food without incident. You're willing to chalk the noise up to a hallucination and your paranoia as valid but not necessary in this moment. Without much more thought you place your empty plate on the coffee table and curl back up in your throw blanket. Just like before you don't catch yourself as you fall asleep. This time you don't wake up until your phone alarm goes off for you to start your week and head to work.

The week has been much less dramatic than last week had been. But then again it is only Tuesday and you literally have gay brunch this Sunday. There will definitely be some sort of theatrics this week. Whether they come from homosexuals or your stalker is up to God.

Then later today you'll be going foraging with Barclay. And while that isn't anything dramatic it will be an adventure and, you hope, really fun! Your excitement has been tangible all day and you couldn't hold yourself back from focusing only on the clock in the shop all day. Even giddier than normal for the strike of five. With the energy rushing through you it amped up your tics but thankfully you hadn't hurt yourself in your excitement.

Even Nate is beginning to playfully tease you about your “date” with Barclay.

Great he must've been talking to Little Jo. What is it with this family and wanting you to date the lodge owner? Do you just look like the lead in a Hallmark Christmas movie that moved to a small town in order to feel the joy of the holidays? You could definitely get into the role but you don't think Barclay would be the main love interest for you.

Honestly he'd probably be the one all the viewers cheered for but you'd personally go for the puppy dog partner that has a scarred past. You have a type and your type is emotionally wounded and needing of love. That thought had made you chuckle as you and Nate closed up the store for the day.

Nate kept looking over at you throughout the day, and when he heard you giggle to yourself at closing he couldn't help the fond smile that came over his features. He could feel how his brows lifted themselves from their normally furrowed or downward tilt. He'd have let you leave early had it not been for the new procedures Big Jo had set. It's not often that your excitement shows so visibly. It's not often that the Cowell family has seen you happy like this.

But Nate understands it's not the crush that Little Jo seems to think it is, it's something more bittersweet. It's the excitement that comes from finally waning off of being isolated for so long. And boy does Nate understand that feeling. If he had to guess Nate would say you've been alone for most of your life even if you don't act like it. You need these little hangouts with your friends. So he does his fastest close yet. You both are out the door by five after and he bids you goodnight as you head to your respective cars.

With the close tonight being so quick you made it to the lodge and parked in the half full lot just before five thirty. Getting out of your car you noticed a familiar duo sitting on the stoop of the lodge.

'Something's wrong.' is the only thought you have as you walk towards the lodge.

“Hey stranger.” the brunette looks up to you at your greeting.

In this light you can just catch the slight movement of his pupils in his dark eyes as they widen in surprise.

“oh...hey?” he seems confused to see you here. Must not be used to living in a small town yet. He'll learn soon enough that you run into everyone all the time here. Sometimes multiple times a week as it would seem.

“You good?” motioning towards the hand on the back of his neck.

“Yea, fucking Bri-an Mrrow thought I needed this.” Toby moves his hand to show an ice pack that you assume he's been holding to the back of his neck.

“Heat sickness?”

“Nah, the RV's AC busted. I can probably fix it by the end of the week.” you nod.

That makes sense, after all CIPA affects thermal regulation, at least from a basic skim. You really need to get on that deep dive to make sure you're prepared for irregular injury prevention with Toby. Speaking of, the boy in front of you is just sitting here with Connor, why? Even if he's here to get a room at the lodge why didn't he just go in? Connor is a service dog after all not like anyone could turn him away. So why was Toby just sitting out here, especially if Brian thought he needed an ice pack to the neck to keep cool?

As if the universe heard your question and decided to give you an answer, Aubrey opened the door and poked her head out.

“Thanks for letting me put up Dr. Harris Bonkers. I'll keep him in my room during your stay.” Oh that makes sense Aubrey's rabbit normally has the run of the lodge. Even if Connor's a service dog and well trained Dr. Bonkers is still a prey animal with a weak heart. Seeing Connor may have stressed the poor rabbit out, if not nearly given him a heart attack.

Her russet eyes land on you when she opens the door wider to, you assume, let Toby and Connor in. They widen and Aubrey rushes in to hug you before stopping short as if remembering you don't appreciate physical contact.

“Hey YN! I didn't know you were coming over.” She says a little awkwardly mid pose for a hug.

You won't be saving her from the situation. With a smile, that she can't see, you nod.

“Barclay's taking me foraging today.”

Aubrey nods while lowering her arms and takes a few steps back so you and Toby can enter the lodge. The large foyer of the wooden chalet always looks bigger thanks to the deep red tones in it's color palette. From the dark cherry stained wood to the red rugs and table liners. Always feels a lot warmer too, but in a homey sense not the overbearing swelter of heat sense. You can't wait to see what it's like in the winter. Probably so cozy and welcoming with a fire roaring and the murmur of residents and tourist mingling over the winter festivities. There's a swell in your chest at the thought...it seems nice, you hope you're right.

'Hope you see it.' is the dark whisper that taints your thoughts.

You notice Brian and Tim are over at the counter talking to Barclay who is nodding along sympathetically to the trio's plight. He catches your eye and motions for you to wait. You'd been planning to, after all he's currently working.

Turning to Toby you see he looks a bit paler than normal, which should be a difficult feat. Aubrey had left you both, though you aren't sure if she'll be coming back with her girlfriend Dani in a moment or not. You decide to lead Toby over to the obnoxiously plush couch in the den.

It's not like the lodge is off limits to those who aren't guests, and seeing as most of it's workers live here their friends frequently come around thus using the amenities. After sitting on the couch Toby grabs at Connor's ears and starts shaking them. He isn't being rough with them despite the jerky movements and Connor seems to lean into the pet.

Just from what you can gather it seems like Toby has some pretty bad social anxiety. You really aren't sure of what you could do to help. He calmed down at the movie night with a distraction...oh that reminds you, you fell asleep on him. Figuratively and literally.

“I'm sorry for falling asleep on you.” probably not the most tactful or elegant way of bringing this up.

Toby takes a minute to register you words. Not taking his eyes off Connor or ceasing his movements he says, “Eh.” as he gives a muted shrug and continues, “Your friend...Kirby...gave you a ride right?” He said Kirby's name like a question. You'd have to formally introduce the two at some point. Probably this weekend.

“Yea, he's sorry about being a weirdo Saturday, said he'd be more “present” this weekend.”

Toby doesn't say anything more and you let a silence fall over you two. It isn't awkward, at least to you, and you're content to just sit and wait for a while. However, it doesn't take long before Tim, Brian, and Barclay are all entering the den.

“Knew they'd be here,” Barclay says to the other two, “Sorry 'bout the wait YN, Jake's comin' down to give these guys a tour an' set them up. We'll leave when he gets down.” you nod and give the other two a muted wave 'hello'.

It isn't long before Jake is sliding down the banister and leading the group out of the room before Barclay can get on to him about his juvenile behavior. Sighing at the twenty-three year old's antics Barclay turns to you and looks at what you're wearing. Hiking boots and jeans, perfect but one thing is missing.

“C'mon let's go get duct taped.”

“Duct taped?”

“Yup, keeps ticks from climbing up you.”

So you make your way to his office where he sticks duct tape, sticky side up, around each ankle and just above and below your knees. All while explaining how if a tick started to try and climb up you the tape would make them stick and stay there. You'd end up with less ticks on your torso and hopefully none at all.

In no time the two of your were in the forest two baskets in hand and hunting for your immobile prey. The ramps were super easy to find and the first you knocked off the hunt list. Barlcay said they grow in the same area every year, knowing this you may have to come and grab some the next time they're in season. You can already taste how good your forager's pie tastes with the new earthy tones. Actual mushrooms were much harder to find, aside from the lobster mushrooms you were really only looking for some hedgehog mushrooms. They aren't rare or extremely difficult to find but you two aren't having any luck.

Barclay suggested a spot just past a little pond, and while you didn't find mushrooms you did find some Black Raspberry bushes. Not one to let ingredients go to waste Barclay starts picking some, and you grab some too. Maybe baking an easy Black Raspberry cobbler will be your consolation prize. Though Barclay isn't as placated as you are with the unexpected find. The man is still on the hunt for his lobster mushrooms. So you continue scouring the path and a little bit off it in search.

“We should head back, it's dark.” you state plainly after a few hours of searching and remaining mushroom less.

Barclay agrees, but makes the comment that he'll probably come out again in a day or two.

“If I find any I'll still give you some or helping out today.”

“It's fine I've got my treasures right here.” You shrug it off, because while you are a bit disappointed, you still have ramps and the opportunity to make cobbler. It's not all bad. Barclay on the other hand, you know, will not be letting this go so you expect he'll hand you a container of mushrooms sometime in the coming month if not this weekend.

Getting back to the lodge Barclay helps you cut off the duct tape and disposes of it and the hitch hikers you picked up. He sends you off to shower and check for stragglers before he would allow you to go home. Thankfully you had the foresight to bring a change of clothes and after retrieving them from your trunk you do as you're told.

Barclay was right you hadn't had a single tick on you and you feel much better after a shower. Getting out you already smell the alluring aroma of Barclay's kitchen. You must have taken a bit longer than you intended if he was already done with his own shower and already cooking for the lodge. Heading downstairs with your duffle bag in tow, you are stopped by Dani at the door.

You haven't seen her in a bit so the two of you catch up and have a chat. After a bit Aubrey comes in with a Tupperware container of grilled salmon and veggies over rice.

“Oh I see, you were a diversion.” you said looking at Dani as you take the container. Dani gives a sheepish smile before running off to the dinning room, and after sending you a coy smile of her own Aubrey follows after.

You know you're more than welcome to join them, but you really don't have the battery for that and just want to decompress at home.

“Thank you!” you call out into the lodge, only leaving after hearing the distant chuckles drifting through the hall.

Opening the door you run right into someone. Looking up you see Toby, but he isn't wearing a mask. Instead he's wearing a large bandage on his face to cover the hole. In his hands is a box of similar bandages. Guess if they're staying for a bit he'll need them around the others.

Should you mention the others wouldn't say anything? That this whole place was like Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, but for the misfits or the weird and disowned? You aren't really sure it's your place. And you aren't really sure you're comfortable with how comfortable you've gotten with Toby. You're probably crossing some boundary by over analyzing him so much. And he doesn't even know you're doing it.

Toby knocks you out of your head when he backs away and gives you space to exit the lodge.

“Get home safe.” it falls out of his mouth so easily.

You've noticed he has a habit of saying that...why? There you go over analyzing him, you need to stop. Shaking yourself from your thoughts this time you look at Toby with a smile.

“I will...I think you'll like it here.” when you're in your car you want to slam your head on the steering wheel but Toby is still watching. Why did you say that, you're so weird.

[infinitegalahad]

Idk I’ve been feeling pretty down lately. Something cute, angsty, and smutty with a jealous Merriell Shelton and fem reader ?? You can have fun with it

Doux Comme Des Bonbons

Pairing: Snafu x Gender Netural! Reader

Summary: Snafu has a tendency to always wound up into trouble. Regardless, you still manage to put up with him.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Implied sexual harrasment, jeleous! snafu, cursing, fighting, but very minor! 

A/N: Of course I can! I feel you, hope this cheers you up! ❣️✨ I’m sorry this came so late. I’ve been studying for a few tests. I promise to work on a few requests this weekend though! I love the requests though, keep them coming in! This one was a little longer than expected. Snafu is my favourite himbo. The title translates to “as sweet as candy” bc this is fluffy-is. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

“Snafu, he’s just a classmate!”

Snafu slammed the door to your apartment building. If school and work weren’t hard enough, this had been your breaking point. As much as you loved your Cajun boyfriend, he was an absolute handful. It was like taking care of a manchild who you loved one minute, the next you wanted to scream in his face. Whenever things were peaceful between you, it was bliss. Endless worship, cuddles, cute french nicknames, romantic and steamy nights. It was anything a partner could ask for.

But when all hell would break loose between you two, it would be full-on discord.

“Classmate ma’ ass. Prissy lil’ fucker. I’ve seen ‘da way ‘dat preppy boy looks at you.” Snafu annoyingly badgered. He followed you around your apartment. Stopping at the kitchen counter, you spin on your heel to look at him straight in the face, a hand on your waist and an angry pout proudly displayed on your face. “ ‘Dat Chris or whatever his n-”

“Chad. His name is Chad.” You corrected.

The Cajun groaned as his calloused hands grasped onto the counter. He was extremely aggravated with hell in his eyes. “Whatever. I don’t like ‘yah hangin’ ‘round him. Chad kept starin’ at you like you were a piece of meat. Tried to fuckin’ steal ma’ seat next to you! ‘Dat lil’ sunva gun tryin’ to sit next ‘ta ‘ma Cher!”

Chad wasn’t someone you considered a friend or acquaintance. He was someone who was in your lecture who happened to be one of your friend’s inner friends. Whenever you would go to study, Chad would always tag along. He mainly wouldn’t study and would pester the hell out of you. He had even followed you to Snafu’s jeep, which proceeded to Snafu almost running him over. Thankfully you had convinced Chad not to press charges.

There was no denying he was a total asshole. He wore the brighetst polos, cheated on every test, and did whatever he pleased. Snafu was convinced that his parents paid his way into college. It baffled you how you’re best friend could even consider someone such as Chad a friend. His whole purpose of being alive was to annoy you. Snafu surely didn’t care for him. But you only had the class for another two months, and then you would be rid of Chad.

Two months had gone by and Chad’s advances had begun to slowly die down. He was aware that you were dating Snafu, who he deemed a man out of your league. It was true, but you loved Snafu with every part of your soul. Snafu was not your everyday boyfriend. It was like dating a man child off of his ADHD medication. He was a somewhat (but still young) man who worked in lumber, a little rough around the edge with a thick Cajun accent. You were a teacher’s pet with a kind heart and gentle presence. When your friend Eugene had set you up, you’d never thought it would work. But date after date, the two of you only grew closer. Within three months, you had moved into Snafu’s apartment since you could barely afford to live in a shitty dorm. When Snafu had offered his home to become your home, you knew you had fallen in love with him. As much as Snafu was the occasional pain in the neck, he was yours and you were his.

Also in those two months, your professor had invited you to a semester party after you had finished up exams. The university you attended was celebrating his retirement and had invited the whole school. Not wanting you to be alone, Snafu tagged along. He looked amazing that night; his wild curls tamed with copious amounts of gel, a white collared shirt, and dress shoes that were crisp. It would have been a lovely night if Snafu had simply kept his mouth shut, which he struggled with.

-----

Walking arm and arm with your Cajun boyfriend, you were literally the belle of the ball. The amount of compliments you had received on your outfit was impressive. You had to thank your friend for the simple, yet elegant outfit.

One of your classmates had stopped to compliment your outfit. After a short discussion, you and Snafu continued your way to your assigned seating. Smiling at one of your classmates, Snafu pulled you in closer to his body.

“Relax Snaf,” You smiled as you leaned your head onto his shoulder. “Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

“Whaddya talkin’ ‘bout? I’m fine. Justa’ lotta guys comin’ up ta you-I don’t blame them ‘doe. But if the-”

“Y/n!”

Snafu was cut off by your friend Hana. Best friends since birth, the two of you were inseparable. Same neighborhood, same high school, and same world-renowned university. Hana knew you better than your own parents at times. You left Snafu’s link to go give her a hug. Hana walked over and gave Snafu a pat on the back, knowing him quite well. You could tell she was a little standoffish with him since she thought he was way out of your league, but was glad to finally see you happy.

“Someone's looking dapper tonight!” Hana commented, patting Snafu’s shoulder. Snafu chuckled and nodded back, complimenting Hana’s (hideous) pink coral slacks. You saw Snafu’s confusion at how bright the pants were. Hana, even if she was your best friend, was a drastically different person from you. “Glad you brought him along, y/n. You guys look so cute together!”

Snafu stood right beside you. Feeling a firm hand on your waist, he looked over and gave you a devilish smirk. “Hana, my cher right here is ‘da real belle of the ball? They don’t even have to try-they just always look flawless.”

While being flirty, Snafu’s sweet side was starting to break through. The three of you chuckled as you gave Snafu a peck on the cheek. Cooing into his ear, “Merriell Shelton, you’re one heck of a kiss up.”

“What? I’m only speakin’ the truth.” He defended.

Hana smiled along at that, giving you a small wink. “Snafu is only speaking the truth. You guys are looking for your table?”

You nodded in response. The banquet hall was small and full of people. It was also dark which made it near impossible to find your assigned seating.

“We’re actually at the same table! Allow me to lead the way.” Hana stated. Snafu and you followed here through the crowd to the table. It mainly contained your classmates and a few of their families and friends. Everything was at peace until you saw a flash of a preppy patchwork suitjacket. It took a minute to process before it hit you and Snafu.

It was the one and only Chad.

Chad had been conversing with his friends.Upon seeing you, he let out a bostieorus laugh with his other preppy friends. Snafu felt immeidntly threatened in his presence, his hold tigenthing at your waist. He was trying to act tough but came off more as a child who’s favoruite toy was going to be taken away. As Chad stood up to come greet himself, you leaned over with your teeth gritted into a smile.

“Don’t say a damn thing. I can handle this.”

The tension between Chad and Snafu was evident. Here Chad was a young and egotistical frat boy who thousands of girls would squirm after. Here Snafu was, a bug-eyed Cajun with a heavy accent and one hell of an attitude. Chad still seemingly wasn’t over the fact that he was almost run over one time by Snafu. He even lightly joked about it, which didn’t sit well with any of you. This only caused Snafu’s burning hatred for Chad to grow even more. Chad was the gasoline and Snafu was the flame. Unfortunately, you and Snafu were placed right next to Chad and his friends. Hana was right next to you and knew that this wasn’t going to end well with the prepster and Cajun. Snafu would swing around the cheap whiskey in his cup and glare down Chad whenever he would even dare look at you. You hated the fact that Snafu was acting like this just because of Chad. The inner immature child in Snafu was beginning to show when Chad began to talk politics. It led to a passive aggressive agreement before you became the mediator before someone got a black eye.

Chad was busy talking to his goons when Snafu turned to you, a hand on your thigh. You placed your hand, squeezing it as you leaned in. “Bab-”

“I don’t like him. Prissy little bitc-”

“Merriell!” You scolded. “Langug-” Snafu smirked as he leaned in to whisper into your ear. “I ain’t a Proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. Do people think he’s straight? With those pink tight pants, it’s sendin’ another message.”

A snort escaped your mouth as you leaned into the Cajun’s shoulder. He did have a point though. What did people see in Chad that was so attractive?

Snafu noticed that you were amused by his humor. That devilish smirk you knew all too well was plastered on his face. “We should bust outta here, ditch the party and go back home. Watch a ninety day fiance. I like what’s on ‘da outside, but i wanna see what’s on ‘da inside…”

Snafu’s fingers crawled closer to your stomach. You bit your lip in response, your cheeks burning. It was so hard to resist him all dressed up and neat. Two could play this game.

“What the hell am I ever gonna do with you, Merriell Shelton?”

“Beats me, (Y/p) (Y/l/n).” He purred into your ear. It was definitely starting to become harder to resist him, especially when he called you by your professional name. But you had to contain yourself and watch over Snafu for another hour.

Your professor had walked over, interrupting your intimate moment. It was mostly for the better. Snafu had a chance to talk to your professor and learn more about the class you had been taking. He chatted up a storm with Snafu, who seemed integrued. Snafu wasn’t one for learning whatsoever. But anything that his partner would do was of interest. Your professor had even complimented Snafu saying that he had found a lovely partner. As he walked away, Snafu stood by and grabbed your drink to go get a refill. You attempted to get up but Snafu put a hand on your shoulder, holding you down.

“Sit down, darlin’.” He stated, saying a hard d in his creamy Cajun voice. “I’m takin’ care of my smart lil’ student.”

The next few events happened too quickly for you to process. Once Snafu had left, Chad had scooted into his seat. You could smell the vodka on his lips. He began to be his typical self, but got much more invasive of your space. You mostly ignored him as he talked about how rich his family was and his summer house on Nantucket. Hana wasn’t there, so you were stuck until Snafu came back.

Chad began to insulet your boyfriend. It started out as nothing more than a drunken rant, but things slowly came to tug at your heart. He began to make fun of his appearance, calling him “bug-eyed” and “dirty looking skin”. He made fun of his work occupation, outfit, almost anything and everything about him. It was definitely an uncomfortable situation. Where the hell was Snafu?

The breaking point was when Chad had wrapped his arm around you, asking you “What the hell do you see in that loser?”

The next events were full of discord. Snafu had come over, furious. He had yanked Chad out of his chair, yelling in his face. Chad began to cry, threatening to sue you and Snafu. He had also thrown pathetic insults at Snafu, which only made Snafu’s burning hatred brighter. Everybody had their eyes on Snafu, you, and Chad. Embarrassed, you grabbed Snafu and dragged him out of the venue. It was best for the both of you to leave before the police were called. The last words you heard before leaving were Chad’s drunken cry.

“You’ll be hearing from my lawyer next day! Hope you both get evicted from your shitty little apartment! You people are so evil!”

------

“You could have just ignored him!”

“Like hell! He had yah’ hand ‘round you, tryin’ to s-”

“Oh for the love of god!” You cursed. “I could’ve handled that on my own. You didn’t have to yank him out of his chair!”

“I did have ‘ta! He was assaultin’ you! You’re my c-”

“Merriell, do not cher me. This is serious,” You hissed. All you wanted to do was go to bed and escape this horrible nightmare. “He could charge you for assault. Even if it was minor, you did try to run him over with your car. There’s no way you could stand a chance against that. If you had let me handle it, it wou-”

Snafu raised his voice, “Y/N! HE WAS HARRASIN’ YOU! TRIED TO PULL DOWN ‘YER PANTS! WHAT ‘DA HELL DID YOU THINK I WAS GONNA LET HIM DO? YOU JUST NEED TO FUCKIN’ LISTEN SOMETIMES!”

His sour tone definitely made your whole body go numb. When Snafu raised his voice, you knew he was mad. He was usually pissed off at the world, but it was chilling to hear him scream. His eyes widened as the gel in his hair began to wear off; his unruly curls began to show. You stepped back, feeling tears sting at your eyes. Snafu, upon seeing this, freaked out. He had been irritated the whole night. The last thing he wanted was to see you all upset. Your lip began to quiver as warm tears streamed down your cheeks. The Cajun’s face softened, walking over to apologize. He had fear all over his face. You were the person he loved the most yet at times he had no idea how to comfort you. Emotions weren’t his speciality. He grew up greedy and selfish since it was all he knew. When he had met you, Snafu had truly changed. He didn’t know how to describe it, but you had made him a better person. You gave him hope that the world wasn’t such a shitty place.

Turning around, you walk upstairs and block out everything. Your eyes are full of tears, blinding your vision. Snafu followed after you, begging for forgiveness. He was like a lost, heartbroken puppy. Instead of heading towards your shared bedroom, you decided to hide away in the bathroom. Slamming the door, you back into the wall and slowly slide down. All you wanted to do was just let your emotions loose and not have to think about absolutely anything. You just wanted to be alone with your tears and nothing more.

-----

The tears eventually stopped with your vision cleared. You could feel the dry makeup under your eyes. Your arms and legs felt numb as you were backed to a wall, staring into the shower. What did your professor think? It was horribly embarrassing for you. There was no way you and Snafu could win a lawsuit against Chad. He knew the power he had over the both of you. It was going to be an absolute nightmare. Hana was most likely blowing up your phone with notifications. What di-

Your thoughts went away when you heard the bathroom door open. It was the one and only Snafu who had the look of a sad puppy. He normally wasn’t this soft, but his face was ridden with guilt. You didn’t even react when he walked over and sat right next to you, his thigh right next to yours. Staring at the wall, he let out a sigh. His big blue eyes were right on you.

“Cher,” His fingers trailed onto your chin as he gently turned your head. Your face was destroyed with ruined makeup. It looked like he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Guilt was all over his face. But there was no time to be whining, all he could do was attempt to make things right.

“Come on,” Snafu cooed. Grabbing your hand, he gently led you up to look in the mirror. This was the second time you saw yourself in the mirror that night. You looked like you had been hit with a tornado. The once neat outfit had been wrinkled, your neatly gelled hair wispy and falling apart, and your face covered with runny makeup. Snafu had gone through the cabinet to grab some makeup wipes. His fingers titled your head to him as he ran it gently over your face. Instead of fighting back, you let him remove the makeup from your face. He made sure to clean off every little bit from your foundation to your lipstick. As he reached your eyes, he peeled off one of your fake leashes and jumped back.

“Sacre bleu!” He cursed, throwing the eyelash into the sink. Snafu was a man who was scared by nothing, except for a fake eyelash. You bit your lip, trying to hold back a chuckle.

“ ‘Da fuck is dat thing? Fuckin’ spiderweb lookin’ bitch. Looks like it has a damn life of its own...” Snafu ranted as his words slowly turned into french. He turned over to you, biting your lip as you held back a laugh.

A smirk appeared on his face as he placed his hands on his hips, “You’d wear this shit?”

“Hana gave them to me.” You shook your head, smiling. He did have a point; they looked like spiderwebs. “I know, they're ridiculous.”

You felt Snafu’s calloused hands grab your waist and halt you on top of the bathroom counter. “Well atleast you make them look hot. Speakin’ of hot, you looked amazing tonight…” He looked down before looking right back into your eyes. “Listen, I’m sorry darlin’. Just seein’ him bother you made me livid. Ain’t no one gotta treat my cher like ‘dat. Especially ‘dat vineyard vines lookin’ prissy.”

You let out a sigh, leaning into his shoulder. “God, his suit was awful…”

“Fuckin’ blindin’. Like, pick a struggle with ‘dat middle part and layerin polo shit…”

A snort escaped your mouth. Snafu wasn’t wrong; Chad looked even worse than he usually did. It was always bright, blinding colors matched with even brighter, more hideous clothes. Snafu’s hand gently caressed your hair as you leaned onto him.

“By the way…” You cooed into his ear, “I’m not condoning what you did, but hearin’ you rip Chad to pieces was kinda hot...”

“Want me ta’ do it again? I’d love to see his little face all scrunched uppa’ ‘gain.”

“God no,” Shaking your head, your hands fiddled with his unruly curls. “If you do, i’m gonna take away all your cigarettes. We can’t handle the lawsuit that’s coming.”

“Y/n, hate to break it ‘ta yah, but I’m not a rule follower. Can I atleast run him over with ‘ma car? Or steal his trump sign?”

“Snafu Shelton, what the hell am I going to do with you?”

Snafu wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. He held on tight, like a child holding a teddy bear. “Stay with me. Right here, right now.”

You smiled into his shoulder as the two of you were wrapped in each other's arms. Snafu was certainly a handful, but you loved him more than anything in the world. He was truly willing to do anything to protect your honor and make you happy. That was a true man, not a boy.

“Ok, your chokin’ me Snaf.” You stated. Moving his arms, Snafu looks at your eyes as you rubbed them. “What time is it?”

“Ten? Darcey and Stacey are on.” He said, grabbing your hand as he led you out of the bathroom into your bedroom. “We can poppa’ few beers and order from Shanghai.”

An relieved sigh escaped from your mouth. Alcohol and chinese food were the perfect cure to a horrible night. “Thank freakin’ god. Anythin’ to forget this god awful night.”

You walked away to throw on your sweatpants and one of Snafu’s flannels on. Suddenly, his hand grabbed yours as he pulled you back to whisper into your ear. “Can’t wait ta’ see you outta’ dat pretty lil’ number ‘ya got on.”

An over exaggerated gasp escaped your mouth as you playfully (gently) slapped his face. A snarky laugh escaped his mouth. You rolled your eyes as you walked over to change. “Keep it in ‘ya pants, soldier.”

“Sorry. Whenever I see yah, I lose control darlin’.” Snafu smirked devilishly. “Can’t help it that you're smart n’ sweet. Just like candy.”

“Seriously, what the hell am I going to do with you?” You repeat yourself as you finish changing. It baffled you how you could handle Snafu. He was a manchild at times.

The Cajun grabbed your waist and began to tickle you. You fought back as you held back your giggles. Carrying you to the bed, he laid you down as the two of you held each other. His hand drew careless figures into your back as you nestled your face into his neck. He placed a kiss into your face, gently sighing into it.

“I love you, y/n.”

“Love you too, you dirty bastard.”

[phoxphyre]

17 Questions

Oh no, the horrifying ordeal of being known. 

Was tagged by: @amywaterwings @super-duper-twelve @captain-aralias

Nickname: Not...really? My 4 best friends all have names that begin with C or K, so they decided I needed one too and dubbed me “Kiki.” It’s more of a joke than something people actually call me, though. My husband calls me “Athena” sometimes because...Ancient Greek major. 

Zodiac: Aries

Height: 5′4″ (but I choose to believe I have tall person energy. Please let me continue to live this lie)

Countries I’ve been to: Canada, France, Italy, England, Turkey, China, Japan, Singapore, South Korea, Mexico, Peru 

Last thing I googled: “doki-doki meaning” (I blame the Discord). Before that, probably something related to AFTG and/or Yuri on Ice. 

Song stuck in my head: A never-ending medley of various Yuri on Ice songs. 

Wearing: I...never got dressed this morning. So, baggy fleece pants and an athletic T-shirt. My current look is very “2020 is continuing right into 2021.” 

Favourite author: Oh no, how to choose. It’s changing all the time. Maybe I’ll do it based on favorite rereads? Rainbow Rowell, obvs. Patrick O’Brian, Pat Rothfuss, Mary Renault, Robin McKinley, Maggie Stiefvater, AS Byatt, Jacqueline Carey, Mackenzi Lee, Guy Gavriel Kay, Naomi Novik, Mary Robinette Kowal, Charlotte Bronte, and I think I’m contractually obligated to say Jane Austen.  

Favourite instrument: Voice counts, right? I sang in choruses for years and years. After that guitar, probably? My dad and brother are guitarists and composers, and I once wanted to be a singer-songwriter and sing in coffee shops. I made it as far as learning maybe 3 songs before I had kids and suddenly had...other priorities. I used to play violin, but we do not speak of that. 

Aesthetic: Right now? Athleisure. (I know, sorry). 2020-2021 has been “Variations on a Theme of Leggings.” In days (years?) when I actually bought clothes and got dressed and left the house? Probably “bohemian” or “former LARPer” or “Lucy Salisbury in the 90s.”   

Home aesthetic: HAHAHAHA no. (To give you an idea of my “aesthetic:” I dogsat my friend’s puppy last weekend and my mom was horrified that I let him on the couch, and I said “There’s nothing more the dog can do to it that we haven’t already done.”) 

Favourite song: Nooooo don’t make me choose. Right this second? Possibly “Yuri on Ice.” Of all time? Probably something by Joni Mitchell, Indigo Girls, Tori Amos, or back catalog REM (Closer to Fine? Precious Things? Driver 8?). Because apparently it’s always the 90s in my brain. Honorable mention to “Ode to the Sun” by Dredg and Mozart’s Requiem. 

Favourite animal sounds: Frogs. I have a vernal pond in my back yard and I know that spring has arrived when the spring peepers start calling. 

What’s one thing you’ll admit to tumblr and not in real life?: I write gay fanfiction? (But you all knew that). That I’m bi? I’m not...NOT out, but I’m a cis woman married to a man, so it doesn’t come up much. My husband and friends know, but I talk about it a lot more online.  

I’m not sure who’s been tagged already, but tagging @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @ninemagicks @wetheformidables @palimpsessed @aristocratic-otter @otherworldsivelivedin @flammable-grimm-pitch @amphipodgirl @ganseylike @nightimedreamersworld @gampyre @vampire-named-gampire

I’ve been only semi-on Tumblr recently, but I love reading these!

[revelaare]

Shit said in the Crimson Discord & VC, taken out of context part 2, (the sequel)

Big NSFW warning, probably

his meat slid off and then slid right back on

[PRONOUN] can punch me in my uterus and make a hammock out of my ovaries

it’s one of the worst fucking things i’ve ever heard, and i’ve heard someone literally shit their pants

they tagged me and my ass clenched

this man just said “I want to eat ur ass and then kiss you” ok buddy

a man with a plan

my grandpa is texting his hoes from his flip phone

god my lawyer was a hit but idk if she will be the chosen one or not

hello give me your toenails

i'll touch you in a non-weird way

he was in that movie with the people, he was the human.

i want her to brush my hair

If we have dick glasses they have to be of the highest quality for the best experience

i don't wanna watch that white nonsense

i would throat him like a fine wine

these millenials can't live without ac? back in my day we lived on the sun

yall better put those goats on a wheel, tell them to start running

he looks like a bitch

yes or no, u wud punch the light bulb out of thomas edisons wrinkly pruned hand and asked him if he believed in god

still has skin and a working body

i needed to wait until my voice changes

you thought i was snacking on joe biden’s savory meat stick

barack guckin oglizzy, oguckma, barack osugma, Joe choden, OglchnnngggHHHYynnUUUnnghhma

why did i have a dream that i was taking the lid off my car

false gods require wine, real gods require coochiefice

fettucine wet ass pussy

that was all you sent me. the picture of a raccoon and then nothing

it isn’t hate, it is ‘continuously let down by’.

i never went to school who science

i’m gunna go peer pressure my mum into a shot

thank you for furthering my career at hot topic

i will suck the ingrown hair off of him

it has huge jackman in it

i chomped on this eggshell, got my calcium in for the day

i will take you to touch the mango

i want to see all the big things

[PRONOUN] has collar bones so deep you could hook a clothing hanger into it

no asscheeks in fucking family chat you animals

he will eat you alive and suck out your intestines like its a spaghetti noodle

[NAMES]’s Tiggle Biddie’s

dropped acid, cried the whole night.

my stomach is hooping and hollering, i’m about to eat some sleep

you want my throatsac ??

please dont know me as the toenail eater

you have to keep the skin on one side while you eat the other, thats basic mango physics

i mean he is some good sasuage

calm down dick Hannibal

respectfully, what the fuck is this

tbf i only eat my steaks where they need tampons

you committed acts of culinary terrorism

does your refrigerator whimper and cower in the corner when you approach it. that's your fridge trying to use echo location to locate a safe space

thundercuck

i almost met Jesus, I almost got an autograph. Almost got a greatest hits signed album.

respectfully, are you smoking fucking crack?

my left testicle could play better than you

i’ll eat him with ketchup

son of a biscuit eating bulldog!

now it’s back to me sucking, all is right in the world.

holy fuck weasels.

holy fuck, weasels!

why does the bad guy look like the Statue of Liberty?

this is a man that sometimes willingly dresses like a lumberjack

and me, being an emotional cripple, must make jokes about this.

hey my name is [NAME] i'm **definitely** who i say i am

[NAME OR PRONOUN] offered a back massage by calling it the “tickle thing”

i love a man who puts his parents in a nursing home.

my brain is going to take a hot shower

wait have u seen steve harvey's coochie

if it were me i would simply not be pregnant

look im not about to be out here saying i love [NAME OR PRONOUN] feet, but i am about to be out here saying that their feet are some of the nicest feet i've seen in a long time

i named my cloyster renesmee

[NAME] was texting me from the bathtub

you’re pregnant? That’s unfortunate.

do I say dumb shit? Perhaps. Do I take ownership? Perhaps.

i pay for things in blissful ignorance

i am an emotional vagrant

i am an emotional fragrance

to make a long motherfucking story short...

this enchilada tastes like asshole and sadness

you are not an ugly bitch, you’re just a bitch

that’s not a nut shot, buddy.

i’m sad because i sucked the meat off of this pumpkin spice latte

i want to make a blanket out of his eyebrows

what are you disgracing my Christian eyes for?

he be looking at that dick like why does it go so much to the left?

I want her to record an audio book for me so I can fall asleep listening to her voice.

Can I lick you like an ice cream cone? Asking for science.

like you're out to lunch with your bromie and you're eating some rubens or something and you wistfully look over the rim of your sunglasses and just: You ever buss 2 fast

my accent is flaccid

timotay chalamaymay’s sweet ass

on the bright side mcallister’s gave me 3 pickle spears. Almost enough to make a whole pickle.

you think they came from the same mommy pickle?

HIS DOODLE IS OUT

i thot that meant [NAME] wanted to...doodle his noodle

i don’t use commas, i don't respect u enough, fuck ur reading comprehension.

does australia have seasons

i want someone to embalm my body with mcdonalds sprite

his hermione grangina

purrrr my last email

its lore locked beneath 30 layers. u can only understand it if uve had a near death experience

LET'S GET FUCKY

i wanna have the heart of a stoner

his man titties look like little tattooed pillows

SWIGGITY SWOOTY COMIN FOR THAT BOOTY

there were no cheeks to shake. nothing to clap. no noise to be had from her literal slices of wonderbread

u ever just fuck around and ur tits fart

put a lil mint leaf on it for authenticity

alright brother god bless may u be fertile

i feel like im being advocated for something i shouldnt be advocating for

and i am adam with my fat pendulous balls lol

i’m making whuppie with whoopie godberg

theodore tits fart rex

yeah man do u also have the third toe on ur shoulder

the green spaghetti monster is coming for me and i can't blame him

today i learned starfish do not poop

that was nothing compared to some other things I saw

listen I'd willingly watch [NAME/PRONOUN] in a cell for 24 hours. Imagine that sounded less creepy

i'd lick a dirty flip flop off her abs

i’m tempted to show you all the gravity defining boobs, maybe tomorrow

my brain is on vacation

good morning! i ate breakfast and im ready to go to bed

tape the titty in

ive unironically had nightmares with [NAME] in them

the peanut in the auditory canal

so far this feel all comfortable, does this all make sense?

i know it's kind of a schlep to get through

nail polish or no nail polish for the shower?

and then he saw those big tt honkerz... and it all went down hill from there

can y’all stop chanting curses in the chat my furniture is stuck on the ceiling

EH?! CIAO? HELLO??

in Russia this is not ok 

i can’t buy pants here on Sunday either

IT'S LIKE TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS TO EAT ON A SOGGY PANCAKE

imagine me going up to [NAME/PRONOUN] and being like i love the way ur flesh smells

in a supermarket. The sickly blue light where humans congregate. Animal human masses. Nameless faces. Whole lives boiled into generalized categories like "asshole who definitely does need 4 boxes of cheerios". Yout hink and realize while stabding in line u didnt grab the bag of frozen peas...but its 2 late

its truly the only picture that gives me pure joy

are weasels real

my work mum just messaged me the phrase "use your booty call wisely" with no context

"let's bring u to the mustache chair"

If you’re not doing coke under the coke sign what is the point?

[bunnymcbunnister]

SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 11/4

There were a few nice tidbits from DCCon about the latest filmed episodes (9-10). These have been a busy few weeks for me, so if I have missed anything or messed it up, let me know! I had a detail from ep 10 listed as 9, which is fixed now. Remember- this is for fun and somethings will be wrong! Enjoy the episode this week after a week off. 

DISCLAIMER: This is gathered info from various sources. This is not confirmed information. Stuff in this WILL be wrong. Don’t take this too seriously. This is for fun. 

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is likely to be 20 episodes

They are filming the 4th episode 1st, which Jensen is directing

Returning this year are: Rowena, Ketch, Eileen, Amara, Adam, and Kevin

Jared and Jensen know the ending. Jensen struggled with it at first. Misha does not know the ending as of SDCC

Matt Cohen and Richard Speight Jr. will direct

Sam, Dean, and Cas will struggle with the concept of free will and if they ever really had it

The focus will be more on Hell than Heaven

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who. 

Chuck will be more of an absent protagonist in the 1st half of the season (but he in in ep 4)

At the beginning of the season Dean and Cas will still have a rift. They will reconcile “at some point”. Jensen claims as of script 4 they still have friction. This has been repeated several times, from Misha as well. He indicated Dean is still mad at Cas, but Cas doesn’t feel to blame for Mary’s death. 

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch. 

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop (Unfortunately, my guess in Rowena)

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future”

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season. 

Kevin will return.

Season 15 promo: https://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Christan Kane (Leverage/Angel) will star as “Leo” an “old friend” of Deans. 

Dabb intimated that Chuck was inherently responsible for killing Mary when asked how the boys would respond to Jack. 

Adam Rose, who played Aaron Bass from the golem episode vauge-tweeted about working a show with two badass leads. Could be Supernatural, but I think the timing is off- he indicated he was filming late Friday night. 

General season 15 promo- more of a retrospective: https://youtu.be/_hlkNQL5Ecg

Dabb compared Chuck and John Winchester, claiming that Dean would have to break free of “conditioning.” Also, for Jack “there have been cosmic forces fighting for his attention since he was in the womb — and that will continue. As much as this season is about Sam and Dean finding agency, it’s also about Castiel finding agency, and it’s about Jack finding agency. As always, death is never the end. It’s just part of the journey and that’s certainly true with Jack.” 

Per Variety: At the outset of the season, the “Supernatural” foursome of Dean, Sam, Castiel and Jack are split up, but Dabb notes they won’t be for long because “ultimately this is a found family, and they have deep emotional bonds” that make up the most important part of the show.

Sam’s wound from the equalizer gives his powers/an advantage of some kind (per TVGuide)

Jack will be a critical part of the ending of the show

The cage/Adam is looking like it will be coming up for midseason

Shaving People, Punting Things: https://youtu.be/azTwku2uosA

The shaving promo, punting things promo shows glimpses or Lucifer!Sam and MOC!Dean, as well as bearded Dean in tactical equipment. Recent interviews by Dabb seem to indicate that these are glimpses into other universes, a la Apocalypse World, and other endings from Sam and Dean. 

According to the MarySue and other interviews, Sam’s bullet hole will give him a connection and insight to god- like a tin can telephone string.

In the cage, Micheal and Adam have formed a working relationship (MarySue)

Dean and Amara’s connection will be explored

There will be a bunker themed episode (MarySue)

According to Misha (Cinablend) Dean and Cas will have discord up to ep 8- which is the mid-season finale. 

At a convention, Jake Abel was asked to share two lies about Adam’s return and a truth. The said 1. Adam is not upset about hell 2. Adam kills someone 3. Adam bring someone back. I am assuming its the bring someone back (Micheal?)

Episode 15x04 (filmed out of order)

Title: Atomic Monsters

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: JENSEN ACKLES DIRECTS – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) investigate the mysterious death of a girl and the disappearance of another. Jensen Ackles directed the episode written by Davy Perez (#1501). Original Airdate 11/7/2019.

Written by: Davy Perez

Director: Jensen Ackles

Filming Dates:  7/18-7/29

Airdate: 11/7

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-spoilers-atomic-monsters-description-photos/197700/

Promo: https://youtu.be/YjEHDwocD9M

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Probably not  Jack? Probably not

Guest stars:  Rob Benedict 

Other Spoilers/info:

Jensen mentioned  a guest star “fan favorite”  that hasn’t been seen since season 7 that is no longer in the business. Guesses include Becky, who hasn’t acted in a while but isn't exactly a fan favorite, Meg, who hasn't acted but she was in season 8, and Balthazar or Frank or Jo or Rufus, but all act frequently. Jensen doesn't always have the most accurate season memory, so he could be off on the season. Since this seems like a Chuck episode, my guess is Becky but I hope for Meg. SOURCE UNCONFIRMED- I haven’t seen this in a reliable source, so take it with a grain of salt. UPDATE- it sounds like Becky’s voice in the Shaving People, Punting things trailer. UPDATE- Jensen talked about a returning character in an interview with Variety in a completely contradictory way to this- a favorite male character of his that is busy working. Another guest? Or was he wrong the first time?

There was a beaver mascot on set… it looks like they are filming at a school called Beaverdale

Jensen and Jared filed outside in fed suits

Chuck will be in this one. Jensen directed him first alone with his beard unshaved (so maybe a solo Chuck scene or him interacting with others/not the boys). There are also theories of a time jump in this ep.

This will be a one off, classic monster hunting episode with some ties to ongoing storylines. Sam and Dean will leave the bunker to keep their skills sharp

Jensen directed

Misha will not be in this ep

SD Comic Con was during filming

Dean will be in the bunker in tactical equipment with a BEARD- fighting someone

 Episode 15x05

Title: Proverbs 17:3

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: RICHARD SPEIGHT, JR. DIRECTS – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean’s (Jensen Ackles) routine case turns out to be anything but. Richard Speight, Jr. directed the episode written by Steve Yockey (#1505). Original Airdate 11/14/2019.

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  9/4-9/13

Airdate: 11/14

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? No  Jack? doubtful

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info::

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing. 

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene. 

The bible verse referenced is: “The fining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: But the LORD trieth the hearts.”

 Episode 15x06

Title: Golden Time

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: OUT OF DIFFICULTIES GROW MIRACLES – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) are visited by an old friend. Castiel (Misha Collins) investigates the disappearance of a local teen. John Showalter directed the episode written by Meredith Glynn (#1506). Original Airdate 11/21/2019.

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates:  9/16-9/25

Airdate: 11/21

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack? Not sure

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info:

Misha tweeted from set in costume, so Cas. 

Misha also tweeted a pic in blood spatter with two bullet holes in his shirt

At least Jensen and Jared filmed in Rowena’s apartment 

This will be a witch episode- Witches will invade Rowena’s apartment looking for books. They are very powerful. Dean gets thrown into a wall and Sam uses magic to stop them (from TVGuide)

 Episode 15x07

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Jeremy Adams

Director: Amyn Kaderali

Filming Dates:  9/26- 10/7

Airdate: Dec 7th is what Christian Kane tweeted…. But that is a Saturday. Dec 5th maybe?

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Yes Jack ? 

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info :

Misha posted from set in new shoes- very shiny with well tailored pants. (The next day he posted in full Cas costume, so are the shoes a one off? Another outfit with new shoes?)

Misha and Jensen made a video from set. I feel like if Jared was around he would have been in it since it was about money raised?  Maybe a Dean Cas scene?

There will be a battle scene in this that Jensen mentioned he was looking forward to and we would enjoy. 

After NJ Con, it appeared that Jensen returned to work, Jared and Misha stayed an extra day and then Misha went home.

Jensen and Christian filmed at a bar called Swazey’s. This was the fight scene Jensen was referring to. 

At some point, Sam might be shirtless or we can see part of his chest- Jared had his anti-possession tattoo at the weekend convention.

Per TVGuide, Leo and Dean will have a wild night out in an effort for Dean to recapture his mojo. Dean will become the lead of a band called Dean and the Impalas, which is made up of Supernatural crew. 

Osric Chau popped over to set, but he is filming on Legends of Tomorrow in the same studio. Sebastin Roche also indicated he would come by, he is filming on Batgirl. Unfortunately, neither Kevin or Balthazar will appear in this one. 

 Episode 15x08

Title: Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Buckleming

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  10/8- 10/18 (no filming 10/14 for Canadian Thanksgiving)

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? yes Jack ? 

Guest stars: Jake Abel, Shoshannah Stern

Other Spoilers/info:

Jake Abel posted a script with the caption “hell hath no fury like a brother scorned”

Shoshannah Stern was spotted on set- Eileen!

This will be the midseason finale

At BurCon, Misha mentioned Dean is still acting like “a dick” in the ep they were filming- which is this one. 

 Episode 15x09

Title: 

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Berens

Director: Singer

Filming Dates:  10/21-10/30

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? I can’t tell but maybe not Jack ? maybe

Guest stars: Rob Benedict, Kim Rhodes, Jim Beaver

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Midseason premier episode

Misha was at home for the first week of filming

Alex and Rob were hanging out- Chuck and JACK?

Kim Rhodes posted in front of the SPN set and with her trailer- Jody looks very likely. She also had dyed hair and she has been rockin the grey for the past few Jody eps. Maybe a flashback/AU?

Jim Beaver posted from set- Bobby!

Jensen shared that in this episode, Dean will pray to Cas to “confess” why he has been treating Cas the way he has. 

Episode 15x10

Title: 

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showalter

Filming Dates:  

Airdate: 10/31- 11/11

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ? 

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha texted some local fans from set in costume about an WA election, but after the convention was in NYC for a couple of days. 

The story will be about Sam and Dean as heroes from the good and bad side (from MarySue)

At DCCon, Jensen shared that  this a bit of a wacky episode- Sam and Dean lose their abilities to fight, Dean gets cavities and Sam gets a cold.

[heartfeltheart]

Alchemy: Tiny Steps

Chapters: 1/45 Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist/Harry Potter Rating: T Relationships: Edward/Winry, Lan Fan/Ling, and May/Alphonse. Primary Characters: Edward Elric, Severus Snape Additional Tags: Crossover, Teacher!Edward, BrOtp Edward/Severus. Sassy beyond measure. Pro!Snape Series: Part 2 of 9. Summary: Part two of the Alchemy Series.  Politics. Either you love it, hate it or you live it. For Alchemy Teacher Edward Elric, he lives it, hates it and loves it when he gets the upper hand. Here is to another year of hell... D/C: I do not own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist. Discord: La Red(Mesh Mash of… stuff.): https://discord.gg/KYjmVAb Alchemy Series: https://discord.gg/DejEYNJ

"There's no such thing as a painless lesson, they just don't exist. Sacrifices are necessary. You can't gain anything without losing something first. Although if you can endure that pain and walk away from it, you'll find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle. Yeah... a heart made Fullmetal."

-.-

Edward Elric stared out into the window of the train compartment he had claimed for the trip. Sitting across of him are Alphonse and Mei, both of them snoozing away throughout the duration of the trip. Xiao-Mei tucked tightly in Mei's arms, the tiny softly snoring the trip away. The Eldest Elric couldn't help but smile every time he turns his sight of his younger brother and his future sister-in-law.

Loud tutting sounded off from the back of the compartment, signifying the four of them weren't entirely alone. Sitting at the back of the compartment are several of Xing's Advisors and ambassadors, half of which are giving Alphonse and Mei either looks of wariness or dislike. Edward could recognize the latters for not liking Alphonse for whatever reason or another. Or maybe for the fact he isn't someone they would have preferred to marry the Xing Princess... Eh... whatever the reason, they don't like the younger Elric Brother.

Looking back out the window to see the moon shining high in the sky, Edward is wondering if Winry is looking up at the night sky. With the thought of his fiancé, the Elric wonder just what exactly waits for him back home. Just what exactly is waiting for him when he gets back home? The wrench of Doom? A maiming? Fresh Apple Pie? The possibilities are endless at this point. If he ends up in the hospital, he'll blame Colonel Bas... Excuse him... General Bastard for it. He still has no clue what exactly he told Winry.

It is for that unknown Edward sent Xerxes to the Rockbell Residence and with a clear order to wait for him to return. The last thing he wanted is that feeling of the temptation of wanting to write a letter asking Winry just what was informed to her.

For Edward, he rather faces whatever Winry will throw at his his face now, than in a letter. This way he won't know of his future demise ahead of time. For now the Colonel needs to keep his mind onto what awaits for him at Central. He could already sense the massive piles of paperwork that are waiting for him once he gets back.

-.-

Edward fixed himself a cup of tea during the negotiations between Amestris and Xing. He was invited by the Fuhrer Grumman to join him for the meeting. It was a simple invite, one of which he could not refuse. Even if he wasn't invited to the meeting, the Colonel would have found a way to get in. Alphonse is part of the meeting as a sort of ambassador. Ended up brother dearest has dual citizenship, well that was new. Should he be surprised? Nope. Considering what he has been told and saw, not surprising.

So far, the meeting is going well, a couple of arguments here and there, nothing out of the norm. If anything, the meeting is going on schedule considering. The only part that seems to be the giant elephant in the room is to see which side will bring up the topic of magic. Now if someone would mention it, then it would be truth-tastic.

-.-

" How much longer do you believe this will take?" Alphonse asked his brother once everyone was excused from the meeting for a lunch break.

"Normally...weeks... months... depends on both sides likes or hate each other's guts." Edward replied with a shrug, he will never get used to being in full uniform for long periods of time. At least this one isn't loose and he isn't tripping over the pants sleeves. "Considering that old guy that's been giving you the stank eye asked about a Magical Alliance."

"In his defense, several of his grandchildren are magically gifted and is looking out for them. For your information... he wanted me to mention this Alliance, he's never been much of a talker." Alphonse stated defensively, he elbowed his brother in the stomach and speed-walked away from any possible form of retaliation from his brother. As I moved away, his traditional Xingese golden and emerald garment swished behind himself that highlighted the golden threads sewn into the outfit. Ling had given the garment to Alphonse to signify further his status to the Emperor.

"Dammit Al!" Edward cursed his brother and promptly chased after his younger brother.

"Hahaha!" Alphonse laughed at his brother's attempts at trying to catch him. "Having a little trouble over there, Ed?"

"Grrr....." Of course, Alphonse will go for a short joke. It didn't help that Alphonse is taller than Edward, even in his mortal form. "That's low, Little Brother."

"Hahaha!"

"Colonel Elric, you have a call."

Edward came to a complete stop at the mention of his name and the fact he had a call. A shiver ran down his spine when a thought came to mind, he could already sense his death is near. That sense only grew stronger with every step he took to the private room he was being escorted to. He didn't see his brother giving him a sympathetic look before he walked off towards a seemingly random direction.

-.-

"Edward, Roy told me about your new role in the Military..." Winry Rockbell sat in a wooden chair, talking to Edward through the phone. She kept fiddling with the cable as she listened to what was being said to her. "Ed...Ed... ED! Listen to me!... Do I have your attention?... Good. Edward, we are going to talk about this once you get back... WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?"

Winry slammed the phone without another word back onto the receiver with a loud huff, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the phone. Seconds ticked by and it seemed more like hours for the Mechanic.

"Hoot?"

Winry looked over to see Xerxes looking up at her with curious eyes. "Hello, Xerxes..."

"Hoot. Hoot."

"You do know I don't understand you?" Winry stated in a monotone voice, with a grumble, she reached down and picked up the tiny owl. Xerxes furrowed into Winry's arms and hooted happily at the attention. The Blonde looked down at the owl with resigned eyes, with a sigh she reached over to pick up the phone and dialed a familiar number. "Hello...? Could you connect me to Colonel Edward Elric?... Thank you."

-.-

Edward slammed his head against the wall repeatedly, mentally berating himself. Of course, it was Winry that had called him and they got into an 'argument'. Well, if that's what most would want to call it. There was shouting, curses were exchanged, and it didn't appear the typical relationship. What actually happened is Winry waiting for a phone call or even a letter from him, himself telling her what is occurring in his life; especially how it is connected to hers. What caused this little... episode... is the fact someone else informed her. General Useless just have to open his giant mouth. This wouldn't be happening if he was the one that told Winry of his new promotion and the job requirements in general.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Not even bothering life his head from against the wall, Edward picked up the phone and raised it up to his ear. "Colonel Elric speaking...Winry?... Hi... I miss you too... Yeah... I don't know how long this meeting will take... The moment I could leave, I'll take the next train back to Resembool... Have an apple pie ready for me?... I'll see you soon."

Edward waited for the click to signify Winry had ended the call before placed the phone back on the receiver. He couldn't help but smile, with a chuckle he pushed away from the wall and headed out of the room. Now to go back to the meeting and hope he will be excused to get back home... home. Heh, what a funny word to use...

-.-

It took the fact that Edward is tightly gripping the arms of his chair to prevent himself from speaking out or making a complete fool out of himself. He couldn't take his eyes off his younger brother as said sibling argued, protested, and... is he bluffing? Who the hell is this guy? This wasn't his brother what so ever! Earlier, Alphonse had mostly kept quiet, whispered out a few words to the Xing's ambassadors or advisors, and well... nothing like this. The youngest of the Elric Brothers are taking a complete lead. The topic that has him acting in such a manner is the... Magical Alliance.

Unlike before, Roy Mustang is now part of the meeting and is the only one that is more than willing to go up ahead against Alphonse. Too bad for him, Alphonse studied well and had excellent teachers to teach him the art of diplomacy and tranquil smiles. If anything, Alphonse is making the older man look like an idiot in his own right. If he could, Edward would be laughing at the look of Roy's astonishment or rendering speechless. Here is a young man he had more or less grow right in front of his eyes. Well, mostly. Considering in the majority of those years Alphonse's soul was in a suit of armor but that's not the point. He knows the young man and this... is just who he expected of an Elric. Now if he could get a word in without having the other spun his words around and make him look like an idiot. He shouldn't be surprised, Al has always been the more diplomatic one of the two brothers but to this extent? Heh... It has the General wondering on the what if's but there's no point on wondering. He has to focus on winning this argument on food. How they went from politics to foods, Roy has no clue.

The only person that seemed to be enjoying this argument is Fuhrer Grumman, the man is taking down notes of the types of foods the two males are arguing about.

'When will this meeting ever end?'

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

Everyone in the meeting room turned their attention to the main entrance of the room, all of them wanting to know just who is interrupting the meeting. Everyone who is needed to be in the meeting is there and none of them are expecting anyone else. One of the guards that were standing by the door opened it and peeked his head out. There were loud whispers from the guard and whoever was on the other side.

A couple of minutes later, the guard returned to the meeting room with an armful of letters. Everyone, minus Alphonse, Edward, and Roy, did not recognize the waxed red seal on the envelopes. If anything, the fact that the eldest Elric brother started to curse under his breath. If he does not like this, then this is a bad thing.

"Colonel Elric? These just arrived for you." The guard said skeptically, he handed the armful of letters to the younger man before he quickly went back to his spot.

Edward glanced over at Grumman to see if the man is going to give him any sort of order. The only thing he got is that the Fuhrer looking at the letters curiously. The Golden Blonde opened the top letter of the stack and he couldn't help but pull a face at seeing who wrote it. "Cornelius Fudge... The bumbling pure-blood loving.... Ugh... the horrid pink thing.... Crap, crap, more crap. Let's see here... New Minister for Magic? Oooooh... this is bad."

"Colonel Elric?"

"Big brother?"

"Fullmetal?"

"We might have a tiny...huge... we have a problem. A very problematic problem."

"How problematic?"

"I give it a 6 or 7 on a scale to 10."

"Knowing you, that's actually a 20 or maybe a 30 to a scale of 5." Alphonse deadpanned. Everyone in the room had to agree to Alphonse statement.

"The current Minister is looking for someone to replace her next year, apparently, something about her health and mental stress. The one that everyone wants to puts in...is not suitable to run this society in my opinion..."

"Will this rise a complication for all of us?" One of the Xing's advisors asked in a serious tone.

"Severely. So... how about we finalize this Magical Alliance?"

Permanent Tag List:

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[sanderssidesfanfiction]

It’s (Not) Over, Isn’t It? Chapter Four

Chapter Masterlist

Warning: Misgendering in this chapter

Logan was wondering how they had gotten here. Well, obviously, they had walked to the bus stop and were now on their way to work, but they were speaking in a more metaphorical sense than usual, where they were typing on their phone, on Discord, with one of Patton’s newest recruits to his server, a user who they were informed went by Virgil.

virgilent: look, all i’m saying is that i personally don’t see connie weilding the sword while steven using the shield as basis for a theory that connie is the more dominant personality in the relationship. i think it gives them good balance, to be sure, but outside of that i’m not sure i really agree with the meta. it’s nothing against you, it’s just my personal opinion

Sherlock Holmes: i understand. perhaps i should have not gotten so passionate about the subject when we were merely discussing weapons that you might use in your latest fanfiction. regardless, it has been enjoyable to debate with you

virgilent: you sound so uptight when you speak like that. it’s kinda endearing, in an annoying sorta way

Logan made an affronted noise under their breath.

Sherlock Holmes: i will have you know that i most certainly am not annoying

virgilent: sorry, it was supposed to be a joke. i keep forgetting not everyone shares my love for snark and sarcasm

Sherlock Holmes: well, speaking to only close friends a majority of the time will allow one to forget what outsiders are like. i’m hardly surprised

virgilent: why are the people on this server so understanding? anywhere else and i probably would have been aggressively kicked out and possibly banned by now

Sherlock Holmes: blame the man of sunshine who owns this server. he’s a fantastic influence, and a true follower of the “golden rule” as it were. most of the time i think that i learn more from him than anyone could learn from me, and i’m striving to become a university professor

There was a pause from the other user which allowed Logan to get lost in their thoughts somewhat. There was something different about Virgil, something that they liked. It was similar to why they decided to message Patton, though it wasn’t quite the same pull.

virgilent: that’s a noble goal, teach. good luck

The conversation was soon taken over by a user whose nickname changed at least twice a week and was currently going by Lapis, and Logan allowed themself to just idly read what was going on with these people they were starting to know, and whose company they greatly enjoyed.

The bus came to a full stop, and Logan glanced up to see that they had arrived at their workplace. They got off the bus and adjusted their coat, shivering in the cold rain. It was still autumn, but just barely. They hated the miserable weather, but supposed they were lucky it wasn’t snow.

When they walked into the Tesco’s, they went to the back without a word, got ready, and then walked out to the floor for another mind-numbing day of retail work.

They tried not to flinch whenever some unassuming older woman would compliment them for being “such a nice man,” or when a little kid would wail too close for them to bear. It was a day where Logan wished they had more spoons than they did. To be misgendered and belittled all day, and then have to go home and continue his studies online while ignoring snide comments from his parents, it was hard to keep going through it every day.

Whenever they got a brief respite, they thought to themself about Virgil and Patton. Both of them were strange characters. They had to admit they were closer to Patton than Virgil, though with the sheer amount of time Logan had talked to Virgil, they were hardly surprised that they were closer to him than most on Patton’s server.

“Hey, Thomas!” their manager called.

Logan tried not to cringe and turned expectantly. “Yeah, Charlie?”

Charlie panted a little before he pointed back from where he came. “Can you clean up aisle eight? Someone decided to throw nearly everything to the ground and leave.”

Logan couldn’t help their next cringe, and sighed in defeat. “Yeah, I can clean it up.”

Charlie grinned and clapped them on the shoulder. “You’re a gem, Thomas. Thank you.”

Logan nodded and walked away, thinking to themself, I know you meant that as a compliment, but the deadnaming rather negates the positive message.

There wasn’t anything they could do about it for now, though. They couldn’t risk losing their job, this was the only way they were getting their classes at Uni.

The dreaded aisle eight was an absolute mess and Logan sighed at the sight. It was an aisle that seemed to be cursed with never being clean. If it wasn’t bags of crisps being opened and strewn everywhere, it was all the bags being in the wrong places, tricking the customers into thinking the bags were cheaper than they were, and getting the employees yelled at for mishelving.

Still, they had a job to do, so they slowly and methodically picked up everything that they needed to from its position on the floor and put the bags back in their proper places on the shelves. The bending down and standing up over and over was soon giving Logan a headrush, and they tried to bite back the dizziness that was threatening to take over. They knew they shouldn’t have stayed up until three last night writing that meta, but they couldn’t resist a challenge, and they had aggressively proved themself superior in their meta skills against a “SU-critical” blog which did nothing much more than spread hate.

Their mind sifting through memories made the dizziness a little easier to bear, and made the time pass faster, and soon they were done cleaning up the aisle. For now, at least. They didn’t know when another person might tear it up.

The rest of their day at work passed mostly uneventfully, and they were relieved to get back on their bus home and scroll through Discord. Virgil was apparently in classes, but Patton was on.

Sherlock Holmes: hello, dad.

Papa Patton: heya logan! i hope work was good to you?

Sherlock Holmes: as good as it ever is. how’s everyone here?

Peridot: p good! i just got out of school for the day, which is a HUGE relief

Opal: luckyy, i’m stuck in classes for another three hours

Steven Wannabe: at least you get access to your phone in class. as soon as lunch is over i gotta go. :’(

Sherlock Holmes: i wish you luck, steven

Steven Wannabe: thanks, sherlock

Sherlock Holmes: you know you can always call me logan. you all are about everyone who does, and i appreciate taking advantage of every chance i get to go by my real name

Steven Wannabe: okay. logan. thanks

Sherlock Holmes: any time

Logan got off the bus and walked into their house, nodding to their mother when she said, “Welcome back, Thomas!” They didn’t argue over their name with her. She never understood, and they really didn’t feel up to a shouting match today.

Instead, they went to their room, and checked online for their homework for the day. They were going to become a professor if it killed them; this was their dream job, and they weren’t going to let anyone take that away.

[theliterateape]

If Yogi Bear Were God, I’d Have This Thing Wrapped Up

by Don Hall

From a Letter from Pontus Pilate to Tiberius Caesar:

...from that moment I was convinced that the conquered had declared themselves the enemy of the conquerors; and I would warn the Romans to beware of the high Priests of this country. They would betray their own mother to gain office and a luxurious living. It seems to me that, of conquered cities, Jerusalem is the most difficult to govern. So turbulent are the people that I live in momentary dread of an insurrection.

At first I was apprehensive that his design was to stir up the people against the Romans, but my fears were soon dispelled. Jesus of Nazareth spoke rather as a friend of the Romans than of the Jews. One day in passing by the place of Siloe, where there was a great concourse of people, I observed in the midst of the group a young man who was leaning against a tree, calmly addressing the multitude. I was told it was Jesus. This I could easily have suspected, so great was the difference between him and those listening to him. His golden-colored hair and beard gave him the appearance of a celestial aspect. He appeared to be about thirty years old. Never have I seen a sweeter or more serene countenance. What a Contrast between him and his hearers, with their black beards and tawny completion!

I extended to him my protection, unknown perhaps to himself. He was at liberty to act, to speak, to assemble and address the people, and to choose disciples, unrestrained by any Praetorian mandate. Should it ever happen {May the gods avert the omen!} should it ever happen, I say that the religion of our forefathers will be supplanted by the religion of Jesus, it will be to this noble toleration that Rome shall owe her premature death, while I, miserable wretch, will have been the instrument of what the Jews call Providence, and we call destiny.

Pilate knew that he was witnessing a new religion forming when he saw Jesus speak. He could see the demise of Roman rule at the hands of this new prophet and gave him the freedom to speak publicly about it. People believe in things that inspire them or provide them with a road to dominance because religion is both a way to codify behavior for oneself and to then enforce that behavior from everyone else.

Back in college, I really wanted to date Diane. OK. That was coy. I wanted to jump her bones. There was chemistry but she was Mormon. Like, full-on Mormon. Her father was an elder at her church. She told me before we could date I had to talk to him first. He invited me to meet at the church.

“You want to see my daughter socially?”

“Well, yeah. Uhm. Yes, sir. I would.”

“We don’t allow dating outside of the church. Would you be interested in coming to some classes and workshops before I give permission?”

“I’m a college student. Classes and workshops are all I do right now, so sure.”

For six weeks I’d go to Mormon school. Diane would check in with me at lunch in the commons area to see how it was going. I sat through spiritual exercises, hour-long seminars on the history of the church, and workshops designed to indoctrinate me into this odd belief system. If something they told me was not unintelligible, it was vague. If neither unintelligible or vague, it was unverifiable.

Yet these decent people believed. They believed in the absurd story of Joseph Smith and his magic glasses and disappearing golden tablets. They believed that multiple marriages primed them to live as gods and goddesses in the afterlife (even though officially they denied this, the classes sure made polygamy seem like the path to follow). There was the whole thing about binding underwear.

“Well, Mr. Hall. You’ve passed your classes. Any thoughts about what you learned?”

I wanted to get into Diane’s pants but not enough to stop myself from being honest.

“Sir, no disrespect intended but I’d sooner believe that Yogi Bear was the Divine Creator before putting my faith in this nonsense.”

While leaving me with a six week case of blue balls the time was instructional although not in the manner expected. I wondered what was going through the minds of people who believed Smith when he told them his bullshit story? I’m certain some thought he was a loon, others thought he was maybe an idiot, but enough people believed that it started a new branch of Christianity. That’s big. A new religion in the midst of so many.

Like Scientology, the Branch Davidians, the Aetherius Society, the Gentle Wind Project, and the Reformed Druids of North America, it seems so many are looking for answers in cults so cults are born on the flimsiest of reasons with nonexistent means to verify their connection to truth.

Turns out it isn’t difficult to start a cult and gain followers.

Step 1: Choose a set of grievances and attribute them to an amorphous enemy.

In the odd quirk of being the only truly conscious animal on the planet, each one of us is the hero (or anti-hero) of our own private movie. Each of us, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, believe that our struggle is the Greatest Struggle (often in spite of all evidence to the contrary). The Cult of Personality functions by breaking that quirk down, effectively convincing people that someone else is the real hero and themselves pawns to his or her victory over the Other. The Cult of Personal Anguish exploits this quirk, enforcing that each of us has Greater Pain than anyone else and by attacking the Other, we each receive our due.

So pick one. Pick some slight you feel personally. Anything that makes you feel all the bad feels. You know, because you are misunderstood and treated with less...whatever you think you deserve. Hell, pick a couple that seem related.

Some examples might include:

You feel objectified by _____. You feel unheard by _____. You feel left out by _____. You feel criticized and shamed by _____. Your choices in life have left you with LESS than _____. _____ are happier or more fulfilled than you

Step 2: Use language to pre-emptively invalidate all criticism or questioning.

This is key. The idea is to take an already agreed upon set of words that denote injustice or abuse and gradually expand the meaning until your specific anguish is cloaked in them. That way, when anyone questions your logical conclusions, you can throw out those words and phrases and shut down dissent.

If someone is critical of a war, they are automatically supporting terrorists. If someone tells an off color joke in the office, he is automatically a sex offender. If someone points out the obvious connection of a flag to slavery, she is automatically attacking your cultural heritage.

By expanding the umbrella that words mean, you destroy the nuances of language. Like when the word "rape" — defined as sexual intercourse without consent — is attached to the word "culture" and suddenly paints a broader brush that covers pretty much anything men say or do. Attaching the word "verbal" to the very specific "assault" amps up the calling of names to felony territory. Add "heritage" to a long standing bigoted "culture" and it seems goddamned noble.

More importantly, let these words and phrases completely dominate your discourse. Find ways to attack anything and everything through the prism of your pain. Eventually you and your followers will begin to lose the ability to see the complexities of living on a rock with seven billion fucking people and only see society through that kalaidiscope of personal misery. The mere opening of a door can be construed as sexist. The practice of women's basic health 97% of the time is completely eradicated because of a legal surgical procedure. Everything a white person says or does is automatically racist in intent.

A Cult of Personal Anguish requires a huge degree of fealty to these horse blinders, this narrowing of the world within the tunnel of your personal oppression or it falls apart under scrutiny.

Step 3: Recruit others who either feel that grievance or gain something by identifying.

In the Age of Constant Connectivity, this is a breeze. White Supremacist groups would be pocketed away in small, dark corners if not for the internet. With this tightening of the world via digital communication, being heard by others who hurt the same hurts as you is easier than ever before. 

There are also on the periphery those who, while they don't exactly feel your specific pain, gain a sense of validation by identifying with it. These "allies" to your cause are good for numbers but don't count upon them if things get tough. While they can assist in many ways, these are just groups of seekers who feel that things aren't quite fair enough for them but have no esoteric pain to attach to. Your cause is like a t-shirt they can wear and feel included in something bigger than themselves. 

Speaking of, sell t-shirts. Your "allies" will buy them. That's how you can tell them from your True Believers and you can make a couple of bucks in the process.

Step 4: Create an “Us vs Them” Mentality

Essential. Without an enemy to blame your grief upon, your cult goes nowhere. Focus lots of energy in pointing out the differences rather than similarities. The similarities weaken your cult. The differences are the fucking gas on the fire. Using Step 2 to amp up the discord, be on a constant attack on the Other. Ignore those other groups who, perhaps, have some of the same grievances because YOUR cause is FAR more important than theirs.

Remember the propaganda of WWII that reduced all Germans and all Japanese to evil caricatures. Observe how FOX News demonizes anyone who doesn't fall in line with their narrow worldview. Find your version of Bobby Jindal or Ben Carson to turncoat against those you see as Them. Remember, this is WAR (because if you attach the word "war" to anything else, it automatically becomes a Big Deal).

Become a Single Issue Proponent. Anyone who is not completely loyal to your cult becomes a part of the cause of your hurt. This is a broad strokes, scorched Earth approach that has succeeded for thousands of years.

When called out on this focus, obfuscate the issue by claiming a broader definition of the problem/oppressor:

"I love all sinners but hate the sin." "When I say 'white people are racist' I mean the system is racist." "I'm not saying Mexicans are the problem. All illegal immigrants steal our jobs..." "I'm not attacking the Good Policemen just the 'bad apples' when I say Kill the Cops." "It's not a war on women. It's a war on what's inside of women."

Once you have these four steps nailed down, go organize. Get a non-profit status or a Super PAC to support you (I mean, while you are out there sowing the seeds of revolution, someone has to pay the bills, amiright?) and legitimize your cult as either a political movement, a righteous cause, or a religion. Look around — there are legal organizations surrounding the pain Christians feel about abortions they don't have, the anguish Southerners have when removing their flag, coercing airlines to increase seat capacity for the Differently Weighted, the misery certain people have when their kids read about evolution, and Online Bullying.

A generation of citizens with crushing debt and few genuine job opportunities can feel bereft of transcendence and meaning, and “becoming woke” fills that spiritual hole. “Woke” is religion without God which strips away all the trappings of what we know of religion, simplifies the complexities of things like racism, income inequality, and the environment, and is really easy. Like Christianity, you profess your wickedness, confess your sins, and tithe to the church and you go to heaven.

Like early Catholicism, you wage war on those unbelievers and call it conversion. Create a moral binary that dictates a ‘with us or against us’ scenario and hammer it home. Spin the soft bigotry of yesterday and make it antiracism. No one likes to be called a racist and with no way to demonstrate that one is not racist, the moral binary takes hold.

I’ve read the books and heard the arguments. I believe most in the current cult are decent people who somehow believe in their movement.

Should it ever happen {May the gods avert the omen!} should it ever happen, I say that the religion of our forefathers will be supplanted by the religion of Kendi and DiAngelo, it will be to this noble toleration that America shall owe her premature death.

As for me? I’d sooner believe that Yogi Bear was the Divine Creator before putting my faith in this nonsense.

[what-happened-to-agent-georgia]

Identity Crisis

For the RvB Angst War ( @rvbficwars )

The original prompt was from @sxpaiscia: “hi! from the discord chat for the angst war: simmons keeping mistaken for jene (gene?) and even sarge and grif (if he comes back) just mistake the two soldiers, making simmons go crazy because they know him from years but this guy can easily take his place without nobody noticing. i hope u like this :)”

Thank you for the prompt, and I hope this lives up to the prompt’s expectations!

Also, blame @wordsysayswords, who’s sitting in the corner whispering “More AngstTM”, for the ending.

Word Count: 2127

Pairings: Grif/Simmons (implied, and who’s surprised? No one)

Warnings: Season 15 Spoilers up through Episode 10!!!!!! Canon-Typical Violence/Language, Non-Canonical Character Death

Summary: Who is Richard Simmons? The question’s been on his mind lately, driving him mad all day and keeping him up all night. It doesn’t help that Tucker’s been pointing out how much he and Gene are alike every time he gets a chance.

Who is Richard Simmons?

The question’s been on his mind lately, driving him mad all day and keeping him up all night.

It doesn’t help that Tucker’s been pointing out how much he and Gene are alike every time he gets a chance.

Sarge is still so sleep deprived, Simmons isn’t sure the guy knows his name, let alone realizes he’s called Simmons “Gene” eight times now.

Caboose has been calling him Gene Simmons (Simmons isn’t sure if this is a step up or a step down from ‘Simons’) since they met the Blues and Reds. No surprise there—Simmons isn’t even sure if Caboose is in on the joke. He called Agent Washington ‘Church’ for months.

Even Temple, who’s known Gene longer, messed up earlier that day:

“Geeeyimmons?” Simmons can hear the cringe in Temple’s voice when he realizes his mistake.

“I’m Simmons. Sim-mons,” Simmons sighs. “Honestly, we’re nothing alike!”

“Sorry,” Temple apologizes. “It’s just… you do have the same color armor. And you sound exactly the same.”

“His visor is blue!” Simmons points out.

“It is, sure, but I can’t see that when your back’s to me,” Temple says.

“We’re still nothing alike,” Simmons mumbles. Wash doesn’t say anything, just kind of looks awkwardly to the left.

Simmons sighs.

“Did you need something?” he asks.

“Actually, I was looking for Gene,” Temple admits.

“Ugh… he went that way,” Simmons says, gesturing off down a hallway to his right.

“Hey thanks, G—Simmons,” Temple says. Simmons watches him disappear down the hall.

He knows Temple didn’t mean anything by it, that Caboose is just confused, and Sarge is more zombie than human right now. In fact, the only person doing it on purpose is Tucker.

That somehow makes it worse.

Simmons finds himself glaring at his reflection in the mirror while the shower runs behind him, still in armor from the waist down, wondering what Gene looks like under his helmet.

Probably isn’t a cyborg, Simmons thinks. I’ve got that going for me.

And who knows if Gene is Dutch-Irish, right? If he even came from Earth.

Bet he can’t play the banjo.

Also, Gene doesn’t have a Grif. But… neither does Simmons, not anymore. It’s not that Simmons needs Grif to define him, it’s just. Simmons can let down his guard around Grif, can be himself around Grif. Sure, there was always teasing, but at the end of the day, Grif was a friend.

More than a friend.

He wishes Grif was here, to tell him to quit being an idiot.

If Grif was here, he’d be just as happy to point out how alike Gene and I am. Simmons knows this, but somehow, it’s different—different from Tucker’s jokes and Temple’s mix-ups.

It’s like—It’s like this. Grif calls Simmons a kiss-ass, Simmons retorts that Grif’s a fatass. They cross their arms and glare at each other. Five seconds later they’re talking about some of life’s greatest mysteries, or the worst superpower ever, their fight so stupid they’ve already forgotten it.

For years, they’ve had each other’s backs. There have certainly been days Simmons wants to punch Grif in his smug little face—but he’s not too stupid to realize Grif feels the same way about him. For years, they’ve enjoyed each other’s company, laughed at each other’s dumb jokes over a bottle of shitty moonshine, stood and faced down death together.

But now.

Now, apparently, Grif didn’t need him. Hated him even.

Simmons feels rage begin to boil in his stomach, fiery and dangerously close to overflowing. He’s felt this way a lot lately.

Fuck him. He thinks. After everything they’ve been through, everything they talked about, dreamt about, for Grif to just. Fucking say. ‘I quit’? Fuck him.

Simmons hates that, once again, his mind turned to the one thing he didn’t want to think about. Ever.

Shaking his head, he tries to focus on his reflection in the mirror, only to find it’s fogged up. He takes his hand and wipes it across the mirror, but even then, the face staring back at him is distorted and slowly fading behind fresh steam.

He waits until he can no longer see his reflection, then he sighs, finishes undressing, and gets in the shower.

**

Clean and sufficiently scalded, Simmons turns off the water and pulls on his pajama pants. It’s not until he’s brushing his teeth that he realizes his helmet’s on the counter behind him.

Funny. Pretty sure I left that in my room…

Spitting out toothpaste, Simmons moves over to his helmet. At first, he thinks it’s the lighting, but after a moment’s inspection, he realizes someone tampered with its visor.

And now it’s blue. Like Gene’s.

“Son of a bitch!” he yells. Without thinking, he takes his helmet and flings it across the bathroom.

It connects with the mirror and Simmons watches, blank-faced, as cracks spiderweb up the glass. There’s the telltale tinkling as shards fall, most of them landing on the counter and sink underneath.

Simmons realizes he’s been clenching his fists, and he looks down as he slowly relaxes his fingers. He can still see the scars (You wanna talk about it?) from where he punched the mirror in Blood Gulch.

At least it was my helmet and not my hand this time, Simmons thinks. He shuffles up to the broken mirror and peers into the sink. A dozen red-faced Simmons glare back at him, wide eyed and angry.

Simmons grabs his helmet and leaves the mess for someone else to deal with.

**

“Gene!” Temple barks from his office.

Here we go. Simmons sighs. He turns into Temple’s office, ready to give his “I’m Simmons” spiel for the fifth time today.

Before Simmons can say anything though, the door slides shut behind him and Temple, in the process of pulling his helmet on, says,

“It’s done.”

“What?”

“Agents Washington and Carolina are with the other Freelancers,” Temple says. He laughs, and Simmons feels chills slither down his spine.

“We’re all taking bets as to how long they survive down there,” Temple goes on. “My money’s on Carolina holding out the longest, but Surge thinks maybe Washington will outlive her.”

“Ah,” is all Simmons can manage.

“Well? What do you think, Gene?” Temple asks.

“Uh, well, I think that Carolina is the more… more logical choice,” Simmons says. Whatthefuckwhatthefuck—“I mean, isn’t she like, uh, wasn’t she the best Freelancer?”

“That she was,” Temple says. He sounds far away, and there’s a brief moment of silence in which Simmons is sure he’s going to be found out, sure that Temple can hear his mechanical heart going ape shit. But then Temple shakes his head.

“I need you to help me keep an eye on that reporter,” Temple says. “The Reds and Blues need watching too, of course, but they’re nowhere near as big a threat as she is.”

“Of course, sir,” Simmons says. “I’ll, uh, get right on it then?”

Temple nods dismissively and turns to stare out his window. A whale passes by. It might be amazing if Simmons wasn’t scared shitless.

Simmons takes slow, deliberate steps as he leaves Temple’s office, resisting the urge to sprint as fast as he can to warn the others.

Simmons counts his lucky stars Tucker thought it was funny to mess with his visor.

**

He knew coming back was going to be hard, knew there was a lot of shit he was going to have to answer for. He even expected getting shot at.

But Grif never fucking expected this.

This has got to be the most cliché, movie bullshit of all time, Grif thinks.

He’d complain about it if he didn’t have his gun aimed right down the middle of two Simmons. Fucking two of them, as if one kiss ass wasn’t enough.

They’re aiming their weapons at each other, babbling back and forth. They haven’t noticed him yet, and Grif is tempted to turn around and get the fuck out of there.

But he can’t.

“What the fuck is this bullshit?” he demands, his voice hitching slightly.

The Simmonses (Grif hates this) whip their heads around to face Grif.

“Grif?” the one on the left says.

“Oh, Grif, thank god you’re here,” the one on the right says. Grif is immediately suspicious of that one.

Simmons wouldn’t be happy to see him. Not after what he said on the moon.

The Simmons on the left is still staring at him, face inscrutable behind his visor. Why is it blue? Was it always blue?

“Don’t just stand there, fat ass,” the Simmons on the right snaps, “Fucking shoot him!”

Okay, maybe that one is the real Simmons.

“Shut up, kiss ass,” Grif says, “How do I even know you’re Simmons?”

“H—he’s not!” Left Simmons (Grif is confusing himself now) finally speaks up. “I’m Simmons!”

“Nuh-uh, I am!” Right Simmons argues.

Grif is starting to get a headache.

“C’mon, Grif,” Right Simmons says, “You know me!”

“The only thing I know is you’re both being a pain in the ass!” Grif snaps. He has the sudden urge to just shoot them both and be done with it.

“Hey, fuck you,” Left Simmons says. “You don’t have two guns pointed at your face!”

That’s when Grif realizes he’s slowly started moving his gun to aim it at Left Simmons. He jerks it back so it’s centered again.

The Simmonses still have their guns aimed at each other. Both have blue visors, and both are shouting at him with the same frantic voice.

“Shut up!” Grif shouts. Left Simmons huffs and Right Simmons sputters a short protest before going silent.

Grif can hear gunfire from elsewhere in the base. They don’t have time for this, Kai is up there on her own, and while Grif doesn’t doubt his sister’s abilities, he’s worried there are more doubles upstairs. Is there a copy of him? Would Kai realize it?

Then it hits him.

He knows how to figure out which Simmons is his Simmons.

“What happened at the Vegas Quadrant?” He asks.

**

Of all the questions he could’ve asked, it had to be about the fucking Vegas Quadrant. Simmons wants to scream.

What happened at the Vegas Quadrant? Absolutely nothing.

Well, nothing to write home about.

They went out, they got shitfaced, they went back to their hotel, they ordered a pizza, then they crashed while watching Battlestar Galactica.

It was the best night Simmons ever had, and he hasn’t had a better one ever since. It’s the night he realized he would follow Grif anywhere, because he couldn’t begin to imagine the universe without that fatass by his side.

But Simmons hadn’t wanted to fuck up their friendship, make it weird between them. If he lost Grif, well. He didn’t want to think about it.

So, he never brought up the Vegas Quadrant again.

Not that it did any good.

Grif left him anyway.

And now he’s here.

Asking about the fucking Vegas Quadrant.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he snaps.

**

Right Simmons doesn’t miss a beat.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he says.

“That’s not good enough,” Grif says.

Grif turns to look at Left Simmons.

“Fuck. You, Grif,” Left Simmons says.

Grif raises an eyebrow, but then he remembers they can’t see his face.

“Excuse me?” he says.

“Fuck you,” Left Simmons repeats. “You know I don’t want to talk about that. Fuck you. Just—you know what? Just fucking shoot me now.”

“Huh?” Grif lowers his gun a few millimeters.

“You heard me, fatass,” Left Simmons snaps. “Just shoot me. It would be better than talking about—about the Vegas Quadrant.”

“Hey!” Right Simmons chimes in. “He’s not the real Simmons, he’s just copying what I said!”

“Oh, shut up, Gene,” Left Simmons snaps, turning to face Right Simmons again.

“I’m—I’m not Gene, you’re Gene!” Right Simmons sputters.

Left Simmons sighs and looks at Grif again.

“C’mon then, get it over with,” he says. “I’m taking what happened that day to my fucking grave.”

Grif raises his gun.

Fires.

**

“Oh, thank god,” Gene sighs. “I thought you were gonna shoot me.”

“Only you would die before telling anyone about what happened in the Vegas Quadrant,” Grif says.

“Yeah, well.” Gene doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t want to blow his cover when he just barely made it out of that shit show alive.  

“I’d love to sit here and talk about our feelings,” Grif says, “But I think that’ll have to wa—”

There’s an explosion overhead (“Good boy, Freckles!”).

“Come on, Simmons,” Grif beckons. He turns to leave.

“Goodbye, Grif,” Gene says.

“Wh—”

Bang!

Grif is dead before he hits the ground.

“Two down, seven to go.”

[trendingnewsb]

5 Crazy Recent News Stories That Didn’t Get Enough Attention

Most people read the headlines of a couple of political stories shared by their most untrustworthy friend on Facebook and feel like they’re pretty well-informed. But the daily large-scale dramas of the Trump administration, mass shootings, Russian agents being assassinated, and the world generally seeming like a montage of newscasts from a ’50s sci-fi movie have overshadowed some utterly insane news that, in a different era, would have dominated headlines for weeks.

So here are five stories that have yet to receive the proper “Wait, what the fuck?!” reaction that they deserve.

5

The Government Said It Has Mysterious Alloys Recovered From UFOs

Two Pulitzer-Prize-winning reporters made public some fascinating footage captured by military pilots of an unidentified flying object zipping across the skies, making sharp turns and occasionally hovering like a helicopter, and all with no visible signs of propulsion. With the internet as it is, we should’ve been drowned in stories about how “Independence Day PREDICTED THE FUTURE” or whatever.

The footage is odd, for sure. But it only makes up like 0.5 percent of the craziness within the New York Times article it came from.

Read Next

Get Your Head In The Game With This Xbox Live Gold Offer

The article says that between 2007 and 2012, there was something called the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program running out of the Pentagon, where at least one employee had the X-Files theme as their ringtone and their co-workers hated them for it. Their task was to investigate mysterious aerial phenomena. While there’s a good chance they had a rubber stamp that read “It’s just another damn drone from Walmart” so they wouldn’t have to write it out all the time, the AATIP’s creator, former Senator Harry Reid, fought to secure the program’s findings, fearing that the United States would be helpless to defend itself from the technologies it discovered. That’s the kind of shit you say to justify keeping Magneto in a plastic cell underground.

Luis Elizondo, the former head of the AATIP, referenced “the many accounts from the Navy and other services of unusual aerial systems interfering with military weapon platforms and displaying beyond-next-generation capabilities.” And most of the program’s $22 million budget over five years went to an aerospace technology company owned by a billionaire named Robert Bigelow, who 100 percent believes aliens have visited earth. And that brings us to the pant-shitting part:

“Under Mr. Bigelow’s direction, the company modified buildings in Las Vegas for the storage of metal alloys and other materials that Mr. Elizondo and program contractors said had been recovered from unidentified aerial phenomena. Researchers also studied people who said they had experienced physical effects from encounters with the objects and examined them for any physiological changes.”

Ah, OK. So. WHAT THE FUCK. Is it just a rash, or a headache, or are these people District 9-ing and morphing into a new species that should be shot in the head?

Live Science tried debunking some of the article’s claims by asking scientists and professors what they thought about it. Their grand conclusion is that there is no way an alloy could be unidentified. Thanks, guys. Excellent observation. There’s no way there are things out there that we don’t know! is some shit-ass expertise. They didn’t even try explaining the claim that the alloys are physically affecting people who interact with them. And it’s hard to blame them. If I think about it for a second, my brain goes to scary places that make me want to hide under a bed and cry.

The whole article makes it seem like there are a lot of high-ranking government officials who are certain aliens are real, that they have visited us, and we should probably fear what they might try to do to us. So on a day-to-day basis, you should feel a tinge of anxiety about your career, the well-being of your children, whether democracy will hold in America, and maybe also aliens with their poisonous ship junk.

4

A Man Spent Years Building His Own Submarine, Then Allegedly Used It To Brutally Murder A Journalist

Every once in a while, a sensational murder case — usually involving an attractive female victim — will take over the country for months. This case is weirder than every one of those combined, and nobody cared.

Peter Madsen had been building his own 55-foot submarine for years. We even wrote about his efforts back in 2010. Kim Wall was a freelance journalist who was just another in a long line to document Peter’s impressively productive waste of time. This sounds like the start of a quirky indie film.

But it’s fuckin’ not.

She set up an interview and two-hour test ride for August 10th, 2017. After the two hours were up, Wall’s boyfriend got suspicious that he hadn’t heard from her, so he called the police. Madsen was later rescued from his sinking submarine off the southern coast of Copenhagen — without Wall. Unless your passenger reveals their true kraken form, it’s weird to return to shore with fewer people than when you left. Madsen claimed that he dropped her off onshore hours earlier, which doesn’t quite align with the fact that her torso was found at sea days later.

At a pretrial hearing a couple of weeks later, Madsen testified that he buried Wall at sea after she was killed by a blow to the head from a 155-pound submarine hatch. Ah, the classic “She was murdered by the submarine, not me” defense. This did not hold up, as forensics found that her skull had no fractures and her throat had been either cut or strangled when she died. More of her body parts started washing up, and they concluded that her limbs had been forcibly removed with a saw and stuffed into plastic bags that were weighed down with metal pipes. She had also been stabbed 15 times.

Madsen’s trial is underway, and maybe it’s not getting any attention because everybody thinks they already know who did it? If so, doesn’t the fact that a man allegedly spent years building a murder submarine specifically so he could do this seem worthy of notice? What in the hell does it take to capture the national imagination these days?

3

There Is Now Software That Can Put Any Real Person Into Porn Videos, Including You Or Your Mom, Or Both

The future is NOW. Sadly, it’s only for creeps who want to jerk off to fake Scarlett Johansson porn. The technology that’s making it possible is called Deepfake. It’s an AI-driven software that can swap out a person’s face in video footage with someone else’s. Sometimes it’s convincing, other times it looks like their heads are painfully phasing in and out of reality.

That’s how you get Raiders Of The Lost Ark starring Nicolas Cage:

It’s also how you ruin the joke of an SNL sketch starring Nicolas Cage:

But it’s mostly for porn. And like all pursuits popular among sad lonely men, it was very popular on Reddit. Luckily, Reddit banned the Deepfakes subreddit not long after it was created — a bold moral stance for a site that lures you in with memes and then knocks you out with a one-two punch of white supremacy and misogyny. Bans on other big platforms like Discord, Twitter, and even PornHub soon followed, even though the underlying technology still exists for free on the internet.

What’s odd is that once it was banned across multiple sites, we reverted back to a pre-Deepfakes mindset, as if we don’t all live in the prologue of a new world where Donald Trump’s rumored pee tape might surface and the mere existence of Deepfakes would be enough for his supporters to call bullshit. We might one day look back at people on a subreddit putting Taylor Swift’s face on a porn star as innocent compared to a future in which a murderer whose face was clearly captured by security footage gets off scot-free because of the plausible deniability of Deepfakes. It’s a scary future where documented proof could be brushed away with a simple “That’s not me, that’s a fake — a deep fake” *winks at camera*.

Also, it means literally every woman who posts her face to the internet will wind up in a fake porn video / sex tape at some point. So there’s that, too.

2

A “Swatting” Prank Finally Got Someone Killed

You know what’s a real gut-busting joke that always leaves audiences rolling in the aisles? When SWAT teams charge into innocent people’s homes with shotguns and semiautomatic rifles drawn, intent on killing someone if it means stopping a hostage situation, all based on a tip obtained from a prank phone call. My sides! The sheer terror everyone involved must feel is making me pee a little!

If you don’t think it’s funny, then you’re not one of the many teenagers who’ve performed this “prank” because they’ve yet to develop a tangible fear of how utterly screwed their lives will be if the 9-1-1 call is traced back to them. The targets tend to be Twitch streamers, since a SWAT team’s entrance can turn an Overwatch stream into the drug raid scene from Goodfellas. Dozens of celebrities have also been swatted, like Miley Cyrus, Tom Cruise, and Clint Eastwood. Many of these people were lucky to not have been killed. SWAT teams have a long, horrific history of killing innocent people and/or their dogs during raids, in case you needed a cartoonishly ghoulish detail to further turn your stomach.

In an era when the media will drum up a moral panic over everything from violent video games to eating Tide Pods, you’d think this swatting thing would have been the subject of several congressional hearings by now. Especially since in December 2017, a swatting prank ended with someone dead, like every human who’d heard of swatting knew would eventually happen. Some random guys had placed a bet on the outcome of a Call Of Duty: WWII multiplayer match. An argument broke out, and one of the participants decided to get his just desserts by having a SWAT team sent to another person’s house. You know, as one does. The target of the swatting gave a false address. It was the home of a guy named Andrew Finch.

The person who initiated the swatting hired an intermediary to do it for them, Tyler Barriss. He was essentially a swatting hitman with a reputation for calling in swats on behalf of people who don’t want to get caught doing it themselves. And his Twitter handle was “SWauTistic,” because he’s a professional who believes in discretion. Barriss called the Wichita police and reported that someone at Finch’s house had shot their own father in the head and was holding their mother hostage. When Finch answered the knock at his door, a Wichita SWAT officer immediately pulled the trigger. Finch was unarmed and nonviolent. His friends say he didn’t even play video games.

Barriss has been charged with involuntary manslaughter, giving false alarm, and interference with a law enforcement officer. Finch’s mother is suing the Wichita Police Department. And even with a cop’s itchy trigger finger, there’s no denying that if Barriss had instead called and asked if Fincher’s refrigerator was running, he would still be alive today.

Swatting has become a dangerous trend which, unlike the aforementioned Tide Pod eating, is actually happening and is actually harming people. California State Senator Ted Lieu, New Jersey State Assemblyman Paul Moriarty, and Massachusetts Congresswoman Katherine Clark have all proposed anti-swatting legislation — all three have been swatted in response.

1

A Scandal Involving Cops Forcing Nude Photos From A Teenage Boy Ended In Suicide

Before I get into it, just know this story deals with the sexual molestation of a minor. So it’s not going to be as rip-roaringly funny as swatting.

17-year-old Trey Sims sent a video of his penis to his 15-year-old girlfriend. In the state of Virginia, this paradoxically made him the creator and victim of child pornography. The detective assigned to the case, David E. Abbott, obtained a warrant to take pictures of Sims’ penis to match it with the penis in the video, as if the police have a dick pic database that analyzes head-to-balls distance and pubic hair density to find a perfect match. Of course, all of this is necessary, since it’s so difficult to identify a dick when it doesn’t have a tattoo or a peg leg. Why that warrant wasn’t contested from the start is a mystery.

Another mystery is why, at one point, Abbott decided to start taking pictures of Sims’ penis with his personal cellphone.

Detective Abbot deemed the pictures insufficient, because somehow Sims couldn’t get erect with cops recording him masturbating. Which they had asked him to do, you know, so the pics would match the ones he was accused of sending. Wait, who is this law supposed to protect, again? Anyway, Abbot asked for a second state-sponsored permission slip to photograph a teenager’s erect penis. Abbott also threatened to force feed Sims erectile dysfunction pills, because he was determined to get a picture of a kid’s erect penis come hell or high water, goddamn it.

It was granted, but then halted after Sims’ lawyers made a big deal about the first dick pic photo shoot in the media, claiming the police had infringed upon Sims’ Fourth Amendment rights. That’s the one that prevents the government from conducting unreasonable searches and seizures, in essence calling James Madison an idiot for not foreseeing the need to include a line about the sovereignty of teenage dicks in the Constitution.

Charges against Sims were eventually dropped after he served probation. And with that out of the way, it was time to sue Abbott. But the focal point of the lawsuit shifted from Abbott to Claiborne T. Richardson II, the guy who approved both warrants. This shift happened after Abbott shot himself in his goddamned front yard right before county police officers were going to arrest him on suspicion of molesting boys when he was a youth hockey coach. I just want to reiterate here that this story was barely a blip on the national media’s radar.

Sims’ lawsuit was thrown out when a judge said that Richardson and Abbott were immune, since the Fourth Amendment surprisingly makes no mention of cops taking pictures of a teen’s penis. Everyone up and down the chain kept coming up with creative interpretations of the law to protect a dead detective who killed himself to avoid charges of molesting a minor. The common argument was that Abbott was just following orders. But he was the one who asked for the warrant. Has your head exploded yet?

After four years of this shit, the Fourth Circuit Court sided with Sims, finally deciding that teenage penises are in fact covered by the Fourth Amendment. See? Everything is fine. Nothing to see here.

Luis’ brain feels funny after he played with unknown alloys. In the meantime, you can find him on Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook.

A previous version of the column stated that Andrew Finch was playing Call of Duty and had been directly involved in the online argument before he was swatted. That was incorrect. The text has been changed to reflect that.

Uhhh … have a stress ball or several.

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