#blame my exams and art block

[amelia-sun]

diluc ragnvindr genshin impact was the type of kid who saw birds eating worms and copied them

omg hi, it’s been a while <3

anyways diluc being canonically the chaotic one as a kid is so funny to me

[parasolemn]

[ID in alt text]

(wakes up in the middle of the desert) (coughs and sputters sand that is in my mouth) KAHASF HFkff .fkhf. kf. ughhh. what day is it, i need to finish skilltober (checks wrist that has no watch on it) THREE MONTHS LATER????? 🤯

uhmm hi guys. Don't mind the blurry photos this art has been sitting in my book 80% finished for three months and idrc about taking good photos right now (esp with my next one I'm so proud of it still <3). I blame the three exam blocks in a row killing my motivation to draw anything other than silly ms paint images

[irregardlessly-tish]

Hi, I just want to rant about something personal…

So, when I was two years old I met at kindergarten the person who would be my best friend through all my school years and a couple years after we both graduated… She went to college, I went to art school which then I dropped out but we still messaged each other almost every day. Near the end of her last year she wouldn't message me too much, it was mostly me messaging first, I understood she was busy with exams and sometimes I'd tell her stuff such as "Hey, if my messages bother you just let me know/you don't need to reply right away, it's fine" I'd get insecure, feel like I was bothering her and she would reassure me and say things like "Don't worry, I'll always have time for you!" until one day, she just stopped replying, she ghosted me for around two years or maybe a little more…

I felt pretty fucking bad during that time period, she was my only irl friend, I never had many friends and after ending highschool and my mental health deteriorated it was even harder to make new friends and maintain the ones I had. I tried to contact her but she just didn't reply and I felt I was making it worse, felt that maybe I was just too fucking much or too fucking annoying or whatever that she didn't even wanted to tell it to my face and ghosting me was the best option. Still, it hurt me a lot that she would say that she'd almost have time for me and that I wasn't annoying her, like why would she lie like that and make me think that everything was fine? I spent so much time beating myself up for fucking up our friend ship, I felt so useless, so guilty for doing something that I didn't even realize was so bad that she had no other choise but to ghost me.

And then one day she messages me here, on tumblr even tho she had an account she never used. She said she'd have texted me but she didn't have my number (it was still the same number I had always had, I didn't change it in all those years), I was a bit hesitant but if she wanted to reconnect, then why not? Maybe I'd have closure or something, I don't know. We started talking a bit, at first she would talk like nothing was wrong, like nothing had happened until I asked her why she had stopped talking to me. She gave me basically a "It's not you, it's me" kind of response. She said that she wasn't mentally in a right place and had stopped messaging me and her friend from college (mind you, she hadn't blocked me on social media so I saw she was haging out with ex highschool classmates, classmates who, by the way, bullied me and even tried to spread rumors about me, stuff like me being secretly a lesbian and trying to seduce her to get her to stop being my friend. So, she wasn't in the right mental state to hang out with me and another friend, but she was in the right state to hang out with those other friends of hers). Still, I didn't question it, I didn't know what she was going on internally so I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I told her, though, how I had felt, how I thought I had done something wrong and that I felt guilty for a long time, blaming myself for whatever had happened that made her stop talking to me. She said she was sorry, it was just a moment in her life where she wanted to focus on her career but that she had missed me a lot and wanted to be friends again. There were many other things I wanted to say, a part of me wanted to make her feel as bad as I had felt, tell her that she knew I wasn't mentally in a right place either and she chose to ignore me, making me feel worse than I was already feeling, tell her about me cutting and trying to kill myself, about me overdosing and being in a coma for two weeks, I wanted to make her feel guilty… But I didn't, I didn't tell her how bad for two years had been for me because I knew it wasn't fair. I was very resentful, but thought that this was a chanse to left all those bad feelings behind and maybe continue our friendship were we had left it.

We hung out one afternoon, a couple of days after her messaging me asking for my number, we talked some more about life (I never went in too deep about how bad I had been), at the end she hugged me tight and said she was so happy to see me again, telling me once more how much she had missed me. This was February 2022. That was the last time I saw her or ever heard from her. She never messaged me back after that. Again, the feelings of guilt, the sensation of doing something wrong that I didn't even know what was came back, I wanted to hurt myself, feeling like I was a piece of shit who didn't even deserve love, deserve to have friends because I was so stupidly useless I didn't even know how to have friends. Months passed and I began to think different, I wasn't the one to blame for "our friendship not working", she was the one who wasn't putting any effort into it. She was the one saying she missed me while still hanging out with people who bullied me and talked shit about me in front of her.

A couple of days ago, I saw her dad at the park, we were both walking our dogs. I didn't thought he would even recognize me since we hadn't seen each other since I was a highschooler but he did and he greeted me. We talked for a bit, just asking how everything was, nothing too deep. The next day, she messaged me again, this time on instagram. I didn't open the message, I've decided, even if she comes back crawling, saying again she misses me or whatever, I don't want to be her friend, even if she promises she won't disappear on me again, at this point I don't care, I can't have someone so unreliable in my life, my mental health is already bad as it is... so today I decided to block her on everything, I just don't care any more.

That's all, I just wanted to get it out of my chest...

[daisysiete]

04/24/2023

Today, my best friend, Walbert, passed the Bar Exam.

The year is 2010. I transferred to a different high school. This sudden change in environment had been rough for my family and me. Having gotten used to the busy city life, adjusting to the province life was like feeling struck by lightning. It was all so painful and so sudden. My life changed *snap* just like that. I cried every single day. My mom knew me so well that she knew I wouldn't want to transfer schools, so she enrolled me there without my knowledge, and for a time, I hated her. Young and naive, I didn't realize how much it affected my mom, who lived 8052.78 km away from me (I googled it). She took it harder than me, and it was when I got older that I learned how strong she was and that she was doing the best she could at that time, and I still cry every time I think about how ungrateful I was. Each day I cherish her more and more, and I promise to honor her until I take my last breath. I'm proud to be her daughter, and I want to raise my kids like I was raised by a single mom who has lived as an OFW for almost 15 years.

It was my father's hometown. I despise him to my core. For as long as I can remember, I blamed him. He was the reason why my mom had to work overseas. He was why I needed to leave my friends in the city and move to this sad little town. Everything in his tiny hometown reminded me of him. He was highly favored during his prime. He was a handsome student (who looked like Goma according to all his relatives) with honors who played sports and served the church actively. He played Chess and Scrabble and was good at them, too. Like me, he was also a journalist who loved to write, draw, and take pictures. He was also an artist who, as I remember, was my first art teacher. Most of his relatives lived on the same block, and I stayed in the same house he grew up in. Each day as I wake up, I see his graduation picture hanging on the wall and think, "How can you smile like that and ruin my life like this?"

Malita was a small town where everybody knew everybody. The high school where I enrolled was the same school he spent all his, too. My teachers were his, too. And in the back of my mind, no matter how much I didn't want it, I knew, in a way, I was his, too.

Little by little, I took my place in this sad little hometown. I learned to accept how much this place reminded me of him and make the most out of it. But as the years passed, I learned to love this little hometown because of the people I met during my stay.

My high school best friends. Walbert. Iya. FK. You made everything bearable until the day it didn't hurt as much anymore.

You saved me.

Thirteen years later, I still can't believe we're still in each other's lives. FK is now a teacher and planning to enter the seminary soon. Iya is now a licensed doctor who lives by the saying, "Serve His people." Today, we celebrate as Walbert passes the bar exam.

As cliché as it may sound, everything truly happens for a reason. Now that I'm older and hopefully a little wiser, I can finally say I'm thankful I got to experience high school in that sad little town because if not, I wouldn't be able to have this chance to know these amazing people who continuously inspire me to do my best each day as I strive to be an architect.

How much good did I bring to the world in my past lives that the universe strung our paths together and made us inseparable since the day we met?

Now, as I finish my cup of Caramel Macchiato, I can't help but smile as I reminisce about the first few years we spent together in high school in my father's sad little hometown. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I know we'll continue to be each others' rocks as we go on this journey together. I'll cherish our friendship and keep it close to my heart.

Thank you, Walbert, Iya, and FK, for being my source of strength all these years.

[nebulablakemurphy]

Can I request for a Draco x reader of the reader being a muggle born Gryffindor? He doesn’t show it but he has feelings for her and not knowing how to act on them, he picks on her every chance he gets. As it was another one of those days at Hogwarts, he gets in trouble in class and blames it on her, resulting in her getting detention with Umbridge. The next day, she was in one of the same classes as Draco and was sitting next to him. He noticed that there was something on her hand and when he

The second part got cut off, but it says ‘asks her about it, she brushes it off as nothing and quickly moves it away and covers it. When he got a better look at it that day, he asks again and she tells him. When he learns what happened, he started to feel guilty. When she refused to report it after he asked her to, he reported it to Dumbledore. In the end, he admits his feelings for her and she does as well. They begin dating in the end.’

Thanks so much for the request, I tried to keep it as close as possible. Sorry it took so long. 💕

Summary: Draco loves to pick on Y/N, until the day he takes it too far.

Pairing: Draco x Female Reader

Y/N= Your Name

Y/L/N= Your Last Name

Words: 676

Masterlist

My Sentiments Exactly

Y/N is the bane of Draco’s existence. You’re a filthy mudblood. You’re a sodding know it all. You’re a bloody Gryffindor. You’re a...vision in your Yule Ball gown.

And it’s his mission to make you pay for it. At least once a day, for the remainder of your time at Hogwarts.

Sometimes it’s an itching spell on your robes, mocking you in charms class, or causing one of your perfectly brewed potions to explode. However recently he’s become a bit more hands on with his tactics.

“Quit it Malfoy!” You snap, turning to face him. He’d been yanking at a bit of your hair, for the past ten minutes, of defense against the dark arts class.

“Quiet in the back.” Umbridge says, with a sickeningly sweet giggle.

“I haven’t done anything.” Draco lies, slouching back into his chair.

Not even a full thirty seconds pass before he’s back at it again.

“I said stop.” You slam your fist down against the desk, drawing the attention of Dolores, a second time.

“Students will behave respectfully in my classroom.” The stout woman sneers, through the fake smile on her lips.

“Sorry professor,” Draco apologizes. “Y/N is acting out again and distracting me from the lesson.”

“Only because Malfoy was-“

“Ms. Y/L/N,” the woman cuts you off. “As I’ve told your friend Mr. Potter, we must not tell lies.”

“But I’m not lying!” You feel your cheeks flush with anger.

“Enough!” Umbridge shouts, causing you to flinch. “Detention after class.” Dolores insists.

Draco smirks at his handy work.

“Thanks a lot.” You grumble, under your breath.

————————————————————

When you come across Draco again, you don’t speak. Don’t even spare him a glance, as you move to your assigned desk. Preparing to begin work in potions class.

You reach across, to the shared supplies. Malfoy catching a glimpse of the top of your hand.

“What’s this?” Draco snarks, “scribbling down answers to pass the exam?”

“Leave it.” You scold, in a whisper, pulling your robes down to cover it.

“Are you alright?” He insists, his stormy eyes meeting yours intently.

“No,” you turn away, “you saw to that.”

————————————————————

Malfoy mulls it over during his next period, deciding that he’s not just going to let it go.

So when Draco finds you, headed back to your common room; he stops you. Dragging you toward an empty corridor.

“Get off me Malfoy.” You break free of him, prepared to storm off the in the opposite direction.

“Let me see your hand.” He demands, blocking the exit.

“Piss off,” You try to get past him, but Draco has other plans. Backing you up, against the wall.

Reaching down for your hand, he brings it into view. Stomach in knots when he reads, ‘I must not tell lies,’ carved into the soft flesh.

“You’re going to tell Dumbledore about this, right now.” Draco drops your hand back to your side.

“No, I’m not.” You argue, “why do you care anyway? You wanted this.”

“Because I care about you.” The boy confesses.

“Well you can just-“ You break off, doing a double take. “What?”

“I won’t repeat myself,” Draco scowls.

“Stop doing that!” You swat at him.

“Doing what?” His brows pull together in confusion. He doesn’t know how to do...this. In all honesty, the poor bloke has no idea what ‘this’ is.

“Letting your guard down and then tossing it back up in my face again. You’re exhausting.” You frown.

“Oh please.” Malfoy rolls his eyes, “I’m the one pulling out all the stops to get your attention.”

“You didn’t need to maim me to get my attention Malfoy. You already had it.” You tell him truthfully.

“You never said anything.” He accuses.

“In all fairness, I didn’t think you’d ever be interested. I’m not a pure blood, I don’t come from money, or high society, or-“

“I fancy you.” Draco says, his eyes flickering to your lips.

“Well...brilliant.” You stammer as he leans just a bit closer. His smell intoxicating.

Malfoy smirks, the sly one that drives you mental. “My sentiments exactly.”

[much-the-millers-kid]

Reigniting Sparks

Narumitsu/Wrightworth

Hurt/Comfort

Post-Apollo Justice/Pre-Dual Destinies

Recovery takes time, and no one knows that better than these two.

Inspired by the art of @collabwithmyself - will reblog with specific links. Check the notes!

Warning: death mention, references to eating disorders

[[READ MORE]]

“Wright, you have to snap out of this!”

Phoenix chuckled, but it was no longer the jovial laugh that he once gave when little Pearl found what she thought was a clue, or the nervous burst that came when he was called out on his bluffing. It was a dark laugh, warped and twisted by the dark age of the law. “What do you mean, Edgeworth? Snap out of what?”

Edgeworth stammered for a bit, trying and failing to form words as he simultaneously tried to fight back tears. “This... persona of a dark bitter enigma. It’s not you!”

There it was again; that dark bitter chuckle. “Of course it’s me. Who else would I be?”

Phoenix felt a hand on his shoulder before Edgeworth dared to speak again. “No, this is not you. You are foolishly optimistic, naïve to a fault, yet also so, so intelligent. You’ve always been one of the brightest people in the world, in wits, personality and outlook...”

“That’s not me anymore!” Something snapped in Phoenix. He was no longer chuckling, being aloof and sarcastic about the situation. This was anger. “That was a foolish version of me that blocked out the world! Who thought that, if only everyone had someone on their side, then the world would be a better place! That the truth would always be revealed, and that justice would always be served.” Phoenix began to deflate, his words broken as he began to have to fight through tears to get them out.

“Wright, look at me.”

Phoenix turned toward Edgeworth. He hadn’t really looked at his best friend in years. He looked healthier than Phoenix last remembered him. He was no longer frail from Von Karma’s strict dietary expectations for his protégé. The color had returned to his cheeks, and his hair regained it’s shine and luster. There were a few hairs that appeared to be silvered from age rather than Edgeworth’s natural brownish-grey, but it fit him. Rather than seeming to show age, it was a sign of wisdom and growth. To most people, the glasses would appear to be a sign of age, but Phoenix knew that Miles had always needed glasses; he was just self-conscious about wearing them. Phoenix was so proud of how far his friend had come.

But this wasn’t about Edgeworth; this was about Phoenix, and Miles wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easily. “I know you’ve been hurt. Kristoph Gavin took what was most important to you, and it weighed on you. But the truth has been revealed. He’s been caught, thanks to you! We can move forward now.”

Phoenix tried to ominously chuckle again, but he’d lost his bite, and it came out more as a scoff. “Can we move forward? You say my disbarment started the dark age of the law, but it’s not the only part. There’s that young prosecutor who didn’t trust that the courts would find the truth so he took the blame for the murder of his mentor. Forged evidence is at an all-time high with a mindset of the ends justifying the means. And that’s just been these past seven years! These issues date back to SL-9 with Gant forging evidence, or even further. I mean, the reason Von Karma killed your dad was because he revealed how Von Karma had his ‘perfect record.’” The tears were pouring openly. “No, the world is a dark and cruel place, and the only way to survive is to be just as bitter and cynical. You were right.”

Edgeworth looked with such concern at his friend as Phoenix buried his face in his hands and let the tears flow. Edgeworth watched, uncertain of what to do. Doing so, he began to notice things about his friend that he hadn’t before. For one, he was so thin. It was clear that he’d skipped too many meals, embarrassed to admit he couldn’t buy food for both himself and Trucy. His skin had turned a dull grey, and the spikes of his hair didn’t stand out on their own. It was as though Phoenix had burned to ash.

Edgeworth mulled over Phoenix’s words before voicing his deduction. “We’ve switched places.” Phoenix lifted his head looking quizzically at Edgeworth. “Wright, when we reunited all those years ago, I didn’t know what you saw in me. I was cold and bitter; I felt I was beyond saving. But you, you saw the good in me. You convinced me that life was worth living, and that I deserved to take care of myself. I... I resisted it so much at first, but I wanted what you had. I wanted to see the good in the world. So I worked toward it. It was slow, and I had to take it one step at a time. There were even times I relapsed and reverted back into old habits. I still struggle with that.

But now you’re where I once was. You’ve shut out the world and all the good it has to offer. And now that I’m in your shoes, it hurts to see you in mine. I will do anything to light that fire in you again. I know it’s still there. I see it when you’re talking to Trucy or gushing about how proud you are of Apollo and Klavier.” Edgeworth took Phoenix’s hands in his and looked in his eyes. “Phoenix Wright, it is safe for you to love again.”

If Edgeworth had been in possession of Phoenix’s magatama, he would have sworn he saw a final psyche-lock break. While the tears were still falling, they were now tears of relief and joy as a smile spread across Phoenix’s face and he wrapped Edgeworth in a hug. They just stayed like that for a moment. No words needed to be said. The past was gone, and the future could wait. For now, they could just stay in the moment.

When the moment passed, Phoenix looked Edgeworth in the eyes. The determined fire was back in his eyes. “Alright. Where do we begin?”

Edgeworth chuckled. “First, we get that mane of yours under control. I don’t even want to know how long that beanie has been hiding that rat’s nest.” Phoenix laughed a genuine laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck and gave a sheepish grin. It was the most beautiful sight Edgeworth had seen in years, and he couldn’t help but laugh along. “Then, we work on getting you your badge back. Now that it’s been proven you had no idea the evidence was forged it should be easier, but because it’s been so long they will probably insist that you pass the bar exam again.”

“Oof, yikes. Going to be tough remembering what’s textbook procedure and what it’s actually like to be in a courtroom.”

“Don’t worry; I’ll help you study.” In that moment, Edgeworth realized somewhere along the way he’d placed his hand on top of Phoenix’s. He started to pull his hand away, but Phoenix grabbed on, so he stayed, even if he felt heat rising in his cheeks.

Phoenix looked away sheepishly. “You know, I spent seven years building these walls and forming this persona; it’s not just going to go away like flipping a switch. It’s going to take time for me to break habits and rebuild.”

Edgeworth gave a soft smile. “Of course I know. I spent fifteen years building my own walls and my own stoic persona. You were there for me every step of my journey; I will most certainly be here to support you through yours.”

Phoenix walked around to join Edgeworth on the couch. He rested his head on Edgeworth’s shoulder, and in turn Edgeworth rested his head on Phoenix’s. They just stayed there for a while, knowing that they’ve supported each other through thick and thin, and that support was only going to continue growing through time.

[tylerwritez]

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

[ill-will-editions]

WHAT THE VIRUS SAID

First published in Lundimatin, March 16, 2020

Translated by Robert Hurley

“I’ve come to shut down the machine whose emergency brake you couldn’t find.”

You’d do well, dear humans, to stop your ridiculous calls for war. Lower the vengeful looks you’re aiming at me. Extinguish the halo of terror in which you’ve enveloped my name. Since the bacterial genesis of the world, we viruses are the true continuum of life on Earth. Without us, you would never have seen the light of day, any more than the first cell would have come to exist.

We are your ancestors, just like the rocks and the seaweed, and much more than the apes. We are wherever you are and also where you aren’t. Too bad for you if you only see in the universe what is to your liking! But above all, quit saying that it is I who am killing you. You will not die from my action upon your tissues but from the lack of care of your fellow humans. If you had not been just as rapacious amongst yourselves as you were with all that lives on this planet, you would still have enough beds, nurses, and respirators to survive the damage I do in your lungs. If you didn’t pack your old people into nursing homes and your able-bodied into concrete hutches, you wouldn’t be in this predicament. If you hadn’t changed the whole expanse of the world, or worlds rather, that just yesterday were still luxuriant, chaotic, infinitely inhabited, into a vast desert for the monoculture of the Same and the More, I wouldn’t have been able to launch myself into the global conquest of your throats. If nearly all of you had not become, over the last century, redundant copies of a single, untenable form of life, you would not be preparing to die like flies abandoned in the water of your sugary civilization. If you had not made your environments so empty, so transparent, so abstract, you can be sure that I wouldn’t be moving at the speed of an aircraft. I only come to carry out the punishment that you have long pronounced against yourselves. Forgive me, but it’s you, after all, who invented the name “Anthropocene”. You have awarded yourselves the whole honor of the disaster; now that it is unfolding, it’s too late to decline it. The most honest among you know this very well: I have no other accomplice than your social organization, your folly of the “grand scale” and its economy, your fanatical belief in systems. Only systems are “vulnerable”. Everything else lives and dies. There’s no “vulnerability” except for what aims at control, at its extension and its improvement. Look at me closely: I am just the flip side of the prevailing Death.

So stop blaming me, accusing me, stalking me. Working yourselves into an anti-viral paralysis. All of that is childish. Let me propose a different perspective: there is an intelligence that is immanent to life. One doesn’t need to be a subject to make use of a memory and a strategy. One doesn’t have to be a sovereign to decide. Bacteria and viruses can also call the shots. See me, therefore, as your savior instead of your gravedigger. You’re free not to believe me, but I have come to shut down the machine whose emergency brake you couldn’t find. I have come in order to suspend the operation that held you hostage. I have come in order to demonstrate the aberration that “normality” constitutes. “Delegating to others our nutrition, our protection, our ability to care for our way of life was a madness”…“There is no budgetary limit, health has no price” : see how I redirect the language and spirit of your governing authorities! See how I bring them down for you to their real standing as miserable racketeers, and arrogant to boot! See how they suddenly denounce themselves not just as being superfluous, but as being harmful! For them you’re nothing but supports for the reproduction of their system – that is, less than slaves. Even the plankton are treated better than you.

But don’t waste your time reproaching them, pointing out their deficiencies. Accusing them of negligence is still to give them more credit than they deserve. Ask yourselves rather how you could find it so comfortable to let yourselves be governed. Praising the merits of the Chinese option compared to the British option, of the imperial-legist solution as against the Darwinist-liberal method is to understand nothing about the one or the other, the horror of one and the horror of the other. Since Quesnay, the “liberals” have always looked with envy at the Chinese empire ; and they still do. They are Siamese twins. The fact that one of them confines you in its interest and the other in the interest of “society” always amounts to suppressing the only non-nihilist conduct : taking care of oneself, of those one loves and of what one loves in those one doesn’t know. Don’t let those who’ve led you to the abyss claim to be saving you from it: they will prepare for you a more perfect hell, an even deeper grave. Someday when they’ll able, they’ll send the army to patrol the afterlife.

You ought to thank me, rather. Without me, for how much longer would those unquestionable things that are suddenly suspended have gone on being presented as necessary? Globalization, competitive exams, air traffic, budgetary limits, elections, sports spectacles, Disneyland, fitness gyms, most businesses, the National Assembly, school barracking, mass gatherings, most office jobs, all that automatic sociability that is nothing but the reverse of the anxious solitude of the metropolitan monads : all of that was rendered unnecessary, once the state of necessity asserted its presence. Thank me for the truth test of the coming weeks; you’re finally going to inhabit your own life, without the thousand escapes that, good year bad year, hold the untenable together. Without your realizing it, you had never taken up residence in your own existence. You were there among your boxes, and you didn’t know it. Now you will live with your kindreds. You will be at home. You will cease to be in transit towards death. Perhaps you will hate your husband. Maybe your children won’t be able to stand you. Maybe you will feel like blowing up the décor of your everyday life. The truth is that you were no longer in the world, in those metropolises of separation. Your world was no longer livable in any of its guises unless you were constantly fleeing. One had to make do with movement and distractions in the face of the hideousness that had taken hold. And the spectral that reigned between beings. Everything had become so efficient that nothing made any sense any longer. Thank me for all that, and welcome back to earth!

Thanks to me, for an indefinite time you will no longer work, your kids won’t go to school, and yet it will be the opposite of a vacation. Vacations are that space that must be filled up at all costs while waiting for the obligatory return to work. But now what is opening up in front of you, thanks to me, is not a delimited space but a gaping emptiness. I render you idle. There’s no guarantee that yesterday’s non-world will reappear. All of that profitable absurdity may cease. Not being paid oneself, what would be more natural than to stop paying one’s rent? Why would a person unable to work go on depositing their mortgage payments at the bank? Isn’t it suicidal, when you come down to it, to live where you can’t even cultivate a garden? Someone who doesn’t have any money left doesn’t stop eating as a consequence, and who has the iron has the bread. Thank me: I place you in front of the bifurcation that was tacitly structuring your existences: the economy or life. It’s your move, your turn to play. The stakes are historical. Either the governing authorities impose their state of exception on you, or you invent your own. Either you go with the truths that are coming to light, or you put your head on the chopping block. Either you use the time I’m giving you to envision the world of the aftermath in light of what you’ve learned from the collapse that’s underway, or the latter will go extreme. The disaster ends when the economy ends. The economy is the devastation. That was a theory before last month. Now it is a fact. No one can fail to sense what it will take in the way of police, propaganda, surveillance, logistics, and remote working to keep that fact under control.

As you deal with me, don’t succumb to panic or denial. Don’t give in to the biopolitical hysterias. The coming weeks will be terrible, oppressive, cruel. The gates of death will be wide open. I am the most devastating production of the devastation of production. I come to reduce the nihilists to nothingness. The injustice of this world will never be more outrageous. It’s a civilization, not you, that I come to bury. Those who desire to live will have to construct new habits, ones that are suitable for them. Avoiding me will be the occasion for this reinvention, this new art of distances. The art of greeting one another, which some were short-sighted enough to see as the very form of the institution, will soon not obey any etiquette. It will sign beings. Don’t do it “for the others”, for “the population” or for “society”, do it for your people. Take care of your friends and those you love. Rethink along with them, decisively, what a just form of life would be. Organize clusters of right living, expand them, and I won’t be able to do anything against you. I am calling for a massive return, not of discipline, but of attention. Not for the end of insouciance, but the end of all carelessness. What other way remained for me to remind you that salvation is in each gesture? That everything is in the tiniest thing.

I’ve had to face the facts: humanity only asks itself the questions it can no longer keep from asking.

[liar-lawyer]

The sides + pain.

Aka my headcanons of what do their powers affect on Thomas.

Logan:

Physical pain. In Excepting Anxiety, when he throws the laptop at Thomas, he rubs the back of his head, the same place where Thomas got hit.

He's the main source of every nerve and joint in Thomas' body. He's the part of the human brain that commands the body.

He has to excess himself in order for Thomas to do exercise. This ends up in him being absolutely evaporated after. The others take care of him.

If Thomas gets hurt, he does too. It's just a small tingle sometimes, but it can be a severe bruise on his body that goes off when Thomas heals.

He doesn't feel when Thomas walks, no. It's the pain inflicted to his body that affects him.

Roman:

Low self-esteem. When Thomas said that his ego was bruised after that audition, Roman couldn't even rise up. His body covers up in bruises and he's a total mess.

This is the main reason of his insecurity.

Ego boost = healing.

The more his ego is decreased, the more depressed he gets.

This leads to the known art block, and his unmotivation to do things.

Patton:

Heartbreak. He's the main source of Thomas' feelings, including his sadness.

The first time he experienced a heart breaking, Patton got so depressed that the entire mind palace got gloomy.

He's a crying, sobbing mess. He doesn't want to do anything.

These are the various reasons he didn't want to let go in MO. He didn't wanted to accept it.

So this is why he hides his feelings. He thinks he will be fine if he ignores them, which isn't true.

Virgil:

Panic. He's fight-or-flight.

Whenever Thomas is having an emotional breakdown, Virgil suffers.

Examples could be Thomas being criticized, realizing he failed an exam, angering someone, etc.

He cannot control his breath until Thomas calms down.

Deceit:

Remorse. He's the embodiment of self preservation, so he's also in charge of Thomas' moral.

Whenever Thomas lies, he's responsible for giving him that bulge in his chest.

Anytime Thomas hides a secret he knows it's important (ie. Being witness of something), Deceit bugs him until he tells the truth.

He and Remus kinda work together in this one.

Remus:

Intrusive Thoughts about deprecative scenarios. When Thomas hides a secret, Remus gives him endless scenarios where the rest discover and blame Thomas, making him the bad guy.

It kinda happens the same with Virgil, but it's different. Virgil's panic, Remus' the neverending thought that Thomas will be blamed.

He kinda doesn't mind doing his job like this, I mean, at least he's doing it, right?

If Thomas makes a mistake, he will give him exaggerated scenarios aboutthe people Thomas loves most disowning him.

[littlemissnellie]

and the final household in my townie makeover series (for now, anyway) is my addition to the britechester sims: a little household i like to call ‘the britechester bunch’.

the dorm rooms of britechester aren’t exactly luxury living quarters, but they sure are good for forming unlikely friendships. if it weren’t for the fact that these four roamed the same halls every day then there’s no way that they’d have even given each other a second glance. but fate, and the random room allocation program, worked its magic and within their first couple of days on campus the group became inseparable. sure, they have friends on their respective degree programs, but there’s something about sharing a bathroom that bonds you for life. they may squabble over dirty dishes and their personalities may clash red and orange, but at the end of the day, they’re the closest thing they have to family out here, and you have to love your family.

as always, if you’d like to download them then check out the download link below, and if not then i hope that you enjoy finding out a little more about them in their fact files!

download: simfileshare 

lorna lockwood:

major history nerd, which, coincidentally, comes in handy for her history degree - her roommates still can’t believe she actually joined the historical reenactment society, but they just don’t understand the fun that you can have charging around a fake old-timey battlefield with a bunch of people who think she’s the coolest person they’ve ever met - and don’t even get her started on how exciting medieval (k)night at the local pub is

literally the worst when it comes to sleeping through alarms - she’s such a heavy sleeper that she has to sit herself a minimum of six alarms, and even with all of that she usually still has to rely on aleeha coming and waking her up for her classes - if aleeha’s already left for a lecture though then there’s no hope for her; her bed’s just too cosy! she blames it on all the throw pillows 

has had to switch all her crockery to plastic because she developed a reputation among her roommates for being notoriously bad at dropping, and subsequently smashing, her plates and glasses every time she emptied the dishwasher 

aleeha hassan:

super friendly - she’s not necessarily the most talkative person, but she’s great at asking those questions that get the other person talking like they’ve known her forever - she likes listening to others more than anything: hearing their stories, finding out how their views of the world - and she’s put that interest to good use, great use in fact; she’s bagged herself a spot on britechester’s distinguished communications degree program 

hates the dorm room getting messy, especially if it’s because the boys are slacking on their designated cleaning duties - she’s too mild-mannered to ever confront them about it, but at least she has lorna on hand to back her up; she’s more than happy to put them in their place

was really homesick her first couple of days on campus, which is probably why she got so attached to her roommates so early on - she was worried that she seemed to clingy with them, but they realised very quickly that she would never even hurt a fly, let alone intentionally try to piss them off - so, before she knew it lorna had become her campus older sister and matt and emil had turned into the big brothers she’d never had

matthew henderson:

your typical douche-y frat boy - he has all the credentials you could need: lousy beer pong skills, a pristine pair of chinos and a stupid grin... the only thing he’s missing is an actual fraternity - but he’s got too close to his roommates to bail on them now, so he just makes do with tagging along as a perpetual +1 at all the campus frat parties

just signed up for the economics degree to make his dad happy - he’s not necessarily thrilled by the prospect of staring at spreadsheets and figures for the rest of his life, but if it gets him a pay check like his dad’s then he’s more than happy to fall asleep at the back of the lecture hall and scrape through his exams until he gets his qualifications

lorna and aleeha hate him for it buy he’s a total player when it comes to dating - he hates the thought of being tied down to a girlfriend but that doesn’t stop him from flirting with anything that has legs and a pulse - he leads them on thinking that he’s interested only for him to ditch them as soon as someone else catches his eye - they have faith that he’ll grow out of this crazy bachelor phase eventually, but the more girls that show up at their dorm door with running mascara and trash bags of his belongings, the more they’re beginning to lose hope

emiliano baer:

was a hipster before being a hipster was cool - his cultural tastes are just far superior to the other members of his generation - they don’t appreciate the important things in life, like herbal teas or vinyl shops or classic, yet obscure art pieces (which he has a wealth of knowledge about thanks to his studies in fine art)

picks up a bit of extra money to fuel his love of going to the art house cinema by putting in a couple of shifts at this quirky vintage bar a couple of blocks down from their dorm - it’s super close to campus, but it’s only ever occupied by students just as snobby as he is, which is the only reason why he’s okay with the whole corporate employee gig 

absolutely despises using any form of transport that could cause pollution - if he can’t get there on his vintage bicycle or by foot then he’s not interested in going; nothing made by the modern man could be worth sacrificing the sanctity of mother nature’s environment for - thankfully he has three friends he can tolerate that will put up with his madness and adjust their plans for him

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Dragon Dancer Chapter 20: Star of Cassell

a/n: The secret to writing good training montages is to make them as cute as all get out and then immediately have the student apply what they learn.

Previous Chapter

Go back to the Beginning

Johann and I walked in silence back towards my dorm room. The reality of what had happened set in now that things were quiet. I couldn’t believe I had just lost it in front of the entire school and someone recorded it no less.

On top of that then forcing Johann to be my boyfriend in front of everyone? Wasn’t that what I was trying to avoid someone doing to me? I was such a child.

Johann stopped walking so I stopped.

“How did you submit the answer to the quiz question so quickly?” He asked me.

“Because I saw that tablet before. While I was gone.” I said, not looking up, keeping my eyes on my hands.

“People study years to read an ancient text like that.”

I chewed my lip and tilted my head away from him.

“Meixiu…” His voice was barely above a whisper. “Please tell me.”

“I can’t. I really can’t. But…” I took a deeper breath. “You’re really smart. I believe you’ll figure it out. But when you do? Don’t tell me you did.”

I raised my eyes to him. I could almost hear his clockwork brain ticking away.

“Alright. Send me your class schedule. Most of the classes are cancelled because the teachers are out on assignment, but members of Lionheart will give you supplemental lessons to catch you up.”

“Thanks.”

“No thanks needed.” We continued until I reached my dorm, he handed me his phone number on a slip of paper. “I’ll be back here at 6 am. Get to sleep.”

I set my alarm to 5 am. And when I woke up I saw a message with him. He’d planned out my entire day down to the minute! 

“He’s picked out meals for me? Isn’t that a little controlling? Geez…” I muttered scrolling up. “How long did it take him to do this?” I frowned a little to myself.

I twisted my hair into an updo and dressed in my Cassell uniform. I put my star of Cassell in the nightstand drawer. If anyone needed confirmation that I’d won it, there was video tape.

I made it outside ten minutes to six and found him waiting for me already. “You’re early. Good.” He said.

“How long were you planning to stand here?” I asked with a puzzled grin.

“It’s customary at Cassell for boyfriends to walk their girlfriends to class.”

“Oh.” He started walking and I followed him. “They have a lot of traditions like that, huh?”

“Like what…?”

“Old school traditions. Like… Old boy’s school traditions.”

“Maybe now that you’re here that will change. You bested Mingfei in one of the challenges. It’s bound to have an effect.”

“You think so?”

“Cassell College is heavily skewed toward preferring male students, even the entire gear department is male.” He told me.  “Cassell only stands to benefit if you continue to excel.” 

“Oh, so I guess you’re not upset that I asked you out?”

“No. I was… uh…” A silence while he tried to find the right word. “... caught off guard. I’m sure with the Star alone, you would have been fine.”

The midsummer sun rose over the college. We reached the main campus as the bells tolled the hour. The birds were singing. It was quiet. I lifted my eyes to the students who were watching us go by. Some with curiosity. Others with jealousy. A few others nodded their heads, paying a respectful greeting.

We reached the library, I felt my pulse start to hammer. Johann, who had been reaching for the door, stopped what he was doing. “What’s wrong?”

My mouth opened but nothing came out.

“You don’t want to go in there.”

I shook my head. 

“I didn’t realize.” He lowered his hand. “Then where?”

A place immediately came to mind. “This is going to sound weird. The basketball court.”

He didn’t question it. “Alright. I’ll let Susie know.” He texted as I walked.

“Sorry…” As we distanced ourselves from the library, I found my voice again. “I got scared.”

“I understand. The reason why we have events like the one last night is to desensitize ourselves to what we might face when investigating dragon activity. You didn’t have that opportunity when you were facing that servitor in the library.”

As soon as we got to the courts, he put his phone away. “I have to go. Susie will meet you here. I’ll be back for you at lunch time.”

 I sat on the bench where we first met and smiled at him. 

He didn’t return it. “You’ll be hungry. She won’t go easy on you.” 

I watched him walk away my happy feeling waning. Well, no matter, I’d faced tough teachers before. How hard could she be?

Susie caught up to me, wheeling a wagon full of books behind her. “I can’t believe we’re going to study outside. Don’t you realize that it’s forecast to be in the mid-eighties with some terrible humidity? You give someone the Star of Cassell and, suddenly, they’re a dictator!”

I winced. “I’m sorry. I’m not pushing you around, it’s just that I got scared and Johann…”

“Johann?” She reared up to her full height. “Oh, no, you’re not blaming him for this. Believe me. If it weren’t for that little emblem, he wouldn’t baby you! Who gets scared of a library?” She slammed the books on the bench, her eyes glaring down at me from above her glasses. “You’re his girlfriend for three months. I’m here to at least give you the appearance of being worthy of it!”

“Hey… I…”

She pointed to them. “These are your study materials! You have to read all of these and be ready for the test in three weeks!”

“Three weeks?! That’s insane!”

She brushes me off. “We have to cram nine months of study in the next three if you’re to graduate in time!”

“Wait wasn’t I just behind six months?”

Susie rubbed her nose as if hit by the biggest migraine.

“Nevermind… Dumb question.” I chewed my lip.

“Haha!” She gave a humorless laugh. “Good jokes. Alright, let’s get started. First history, then Genealogy, then Alchemy!”

We spent at least an hour on each, followed by an exercise to make sure I was capturing what I was learning. The minute she saw my mind wandering she snapped her fingers to get my attention. This rubbed me the wrong way but she had a good point. If I was going to live up to what they were asking me to do this would not be easy. Besides, this is nowhere I hadn’t been before. If I could dance the lead role of the Dark King, I could do this.

The heat was blazing by noon and we moved our study under a tree. Johann approached as the clocktower tolled. “Thank you, Susie.”

“Seriously? Don’t mention it.” Susie said, holding out my exam papers to him.

I looked up at him. He was carrying something. “Here, I wasn’t sure what you liked, but these seemed popular.” He said.

“You made her lunch?” Susie whispered. “Don’t you think this is too much?”

“It’s customary for boyfriends to make bento boxes for girlfriends.” His expression was blank, his voice matter-of-fact.

Susie takes a deep breath and smiles. “Oh! That’s true!” She walked away. The glare she tossed over her shoulder at me was pure poison.

My eyes widened slightly. “Oh.” 

He sat next to me handing me the box wrapped in a cloth napkin. He pulled out a red pen and started reading over my exercises, marking and making little notes.

The rice balls and veggies had been crafted into cute little animals! I laughed. “Wow this is really neat! Almost too good to eat!” I smiled over at him but he was focused on grading my paper. “How’d I do?”

“Don’t worry about it. Any deficiencies will be addressed in the next lesson.”

“Right!” I took a bite. It was so good. A perfect blend of sweet and sour and salty. “You’ve known Susie for a long time? I ventured?”

“She’s extremely devoted to Lionheart.” He said.

“To Lionheart. Right.”

“She’s also the number one sniper on campus.” He turned to me as I began choking. “Don’t eat too fast.”

“Sorry.” I took a drink of water. 

“She’ll also be handling your firearms training.” He flipped to the next paper. “If you agree to it. She is a tough teacher.”

“No tougher than some of my ballet instructors.”

He nodded once without looking at me.

“Have you … ever dated…?”

“Can you save questions until after I’m done?” 

“Oh! Sorry…” We spent the rest of the lunch in silence.

“Here, study these notes as well as the homework Susie gave you.” 

I stared at the pages. They were positively bleeding. I would probably need another six hours to study!

“Lancelot will be here soon to do your martial arts training.” He said, standing up.

“Huh? I thought you said you were going to do that?”

He halted, frowning slightly. 

I scrambled to retract what I said. "It’s fine if you can’t! Just because I have that silly star doesn’t mean you’re my slave.” How much of this was because he wanted to and how much of this was because he was obligated? “If you have something you need done, just tell me!”

“Right, I’ll send you my complete schedule for the week.” He said.

“Ah…” That wasn’t what I meant!

Lancelot jogged up, waving enthusiastically. “Hey Carli!” He said, “Ready to go?”

“Don’t work her too hard. She just ate.” He said as he walked away.

“Sure thing, Chairman.” Lancelot watched him go and then grinned down at me. “You certainly know how to make an entrance.”

“I’m feeling kind of terrible now…” I hang my head.

“You should!” He started to laugh. 

His good-humor was exactly what I needed. I stood up. “So what are we going to do?”

“Well we’re going to walk to the left… and then tomorrow, we’re going to walk to the right… Stance and position are just as important in martial arts as they are in ballet. I don’t expect you to have to spend too long on the fundamentals.”

Regardless of what he expected, spending time was exactly what he did. His criticism of my form and posture was constant but I took this much better because I was used to it. By the end of the hour, I was exhausted and I hadn’t done much.

“Good, you’re way above some of the others we drag in here. Enjoy your break.” Lancelot waved over his shoulder. 

I had a block of three hours before study time where I could do whatever I wanted. I returned to my dorm to shower and change clothes. Much to my surprise, Ielia popped out of my necklace, looking very satisfied.

“Oh, have a good day in your dimension?” I asked.

She beckoned me with one finger and then pointed to a pen and then to the wall. “Drawing on the walls again?”

With her help, I traced another rune, larger than what I had done on the wall of the Comemnus condo. Once it was completed, I felt a pull. The blowing of the air from the AC sounded far away, like I’d been plunged underwater. She then had me trace out words, English words.

“Time Dilation. Three hours here = 1 hour outside.”

My jaw dropped. She gave me a thumbs up. Then she put her finger to her lips. I understood. This would be a secret too.

After a little nap, I got back up to study. She watched me, shaking her head and correcting me when I was wrong, adding more information if I needed help. She knew everything I was trying to learn and then some. Cassell was relying on ancient texts and archeological finds. But in her world, dragons were still alive. She even disagreed with some of the books, but she didn’t elaborate because she didn’t want to confuse me.

The next item on my schedule was a video conference oral review after dinner. Johann didn’t prepare this meal for me, instead having it delivered to my dorm.

“Were you able to get any rest?” He asked once I’m connected.

“Yes, a lot.” I noticed the strange whirring sound in the background as well as the strange seating. “Johann are you on a plane?”

“We were called out on a mission earlier today. I can’t talk about this one.”

My heart drops. “Oh… “

“Something the matter?”

“No, I…” I paused. “I just wish I could be there with you.”

“You’ll get there soon. Probably before you know it. Let’s see your progress.”

I focus my mind on the questions, getting all but one correct. Johann’s brow furrowed. “Very good.”

“Thanks!” I grinned.

He stared at me for several seconds. “I guess I shouldn’t expect any less from an S-rank.”

“Hey give me some credit! I worked really hard!”

 “I have to log off now. Schneider’s debriefing us.”

“Alright. Stay safe.”

The next day, Johann wasn’t there to walk with me.

Nor did he return the day after that.  That day, he didn’t call me as scheduled. My heart pounded in my chest as two minutes late turned to three minutes… then four minutes.

Before I could call him, my phone rang. It was EVA. “We have an urgent situation! All S-rank and A-rank are required to report to the Execution Department immediately!”

Next Chapter

[clearwillow]

White Day

A/N: Tohru Honda’s sweet personality from Fruits Basket is the way to describe Rin’s kind personality within this one shot. I hope you all enjoy this short story.

White Day By: @kimmigirl9

Valentine’s Day came and went in a blink of an eye. Now today was March 14th, also known as White Day. A day where men return the favor by gifting the girl a sweet treat in return. I wasn’t a man of sweets but I thought about making a sweet treat from scratch. But I forgot I’m not that handy in the kitchen. I would end up burning the treats instead. I just decided to go out and just buy a sweet treat instead. “Maybe chocolate covered strawberries?” Finding a gift for Rin wouldn’t be too hard. She wasn’t picky when it came to gifts. I could pick a single flower just from a branch of a tree and she would appreciate it very much.

Walking through the city I looked through the windows of shops near my townhome. Nothing called to me. Though the sweet gifts were white, they weren’t the exact white I was looking for. Instead of a sweet treat I decided to look at jewelry. I’ve never gifted Rin jewelry before, but I know she would love whatever I presented her. After I walked a few blocks I found the jewelry shop. Looking through the glass window the perfect shade of white caught my eye. The necklace was the perfect white. The silver chained held a plum blossom flower. “Rin’s scent.” The flower necklace was in fact what Rin’s scent was. I knew I had to buy this before anyone else did.

I walked inside and was greeted by the manager I believe. “Good morning to you sir. My name is Jakotsu, how may I be of assistance to you on this fine day?” His voice had a bit of a girly tone to it. He was dressed in a woman’s festival kimono and his hair was pulled back with a hairpin.

I pointed over my shoulder, “the plum blossom necklace in the window. I would like to purchase the piece.”

“Ah, such a fine piece I have to agree.” He went over and picked the necklace from the bust it rested on. “Would you like it gift wrapped?” He asked cheerfully.

“Yes, it’s a white day gift,” I said quickly.

The dude’s eyes lit up like fireworks. “You must have a special girl in your life.” I only nodded to him. He placed the necklace in its proper box and then wrapped it up in shiny white paper and gold ribbon. “Is there anything else I could be of service to you or will this be it?”

“Just the necklace, how much?” I asked as I pulled out my wallet from my back pocket.

He rang me up, “that will be ¥11,000 yen sir,” he said with a smirk. I handed him my gold card to pay for Rin’s gift. “Thank you sir. You have a marvelous day. I do hope the special girl of yours enjoys your gift.” I only nodded my head and left without another word to him.

I looked at the time on my phone and it was almost noon. “I’m supposed to meet Rin at the white day festival at the park.” Turning into a ball of white light I shot towards Ueno Park. She wanted to have a picnic to celebrate today. I wasn’t the one for picnics but I didn’t want to let her down and went along with it.

Arriving at the park the festival was in full swing. Couples young and old were scattered around enjoying the festivities with one another. Vendors lined up and down the walkway selling anything from marshmallow treats, to white chocolates, and jewelry. It’s a good thing I found Rin’s gift in town. I hope she likes it when I present it to her later.

The wind blew around me and I could pick up Rin’s sweet scent not too far off from where I was. “So she’s near the lake?” I veered around the couples and walked down the paved path for a few minutes. Looking to my right, there she was. Rin was dressed elegantly in a long white kimono dress. I never seen her look this beautiful before. She is usually dressed like a tomboy since she plays different sports. Seeing her dressed this magnificent I realized she has an amazing frame. The white fabric wrapped around her body like art. I never knew she had such a delicate figure. Her hair was pulled back and wrapped up tight with a hairpin keeping it in place. While I’m dressed in a quarter sleeve white button up shirt and denim blue jeans. My long silver hair was pulled back in a braided ponytail. I look more like a university student studying to be a lawyer with the black glasses I’m wearing.

I walked over to her as she had her back to me, “Rin?” I called to her softly.

My voice I guess startled her as she jumped a few feet. When she turned around her eyes lit up. “Sesshomaru, you startled me. How are you?” She asked softly and bowed before me. Lifting her head she gestured a hand to sit down on the blanket she had set up.

“The same as always. I may as well ask you the same.” I took a seat across from her as she sat on her knees.

“I am well, thank you for asking,” she smiled brightly. “Are you hungry? I made some fish cutlets and a few other delicious foods?” She pulled out a plate of fried fish, a bowl of mixed fruits, and a plate of raw vegetables. I have to say Rin has a green thumb when it comes to cooking. I nodded to her question and picked up a piece of fish. Bringing the cutlet to my mouth I could smell it was cod. She knows my favorite fish all too well. I took a medium sized bite and chewed it quickly. “Is it to yourself liking?” She asked happily.

“It’s good. It’s very fresh and the cod has a juicy taste,” I let her know. Her chocolate eyes lit up with enjoyment. “Are you going to eat?” She hasn’t picked up any piece of food yet.

“Oh! Yes, I just wanted to ask if you liked my cooking. You know I’m going to get my culinary degree and I need someone’s feedback.” She picked up a small piece of cutlet and took a small bite. “It’s so good. This definitely will be one of the foods I’ll make for my entrance exam.” I know she’ll do well. “After our lunch is there anything you would like to do or go see?” Her smile is what attracted me to her. Though we haven’t hadn’t our first kiss yet and we are technically dating, I just wasn’t ready.

“We can walk around the perimeter of the lake or the festival,” I let her know. Her eyes keep lighting up.

“That would be wonderful and I really appreciate that very much,” she said as she took another bite of the meal she made. Her lips were calling to me. I know I won’t be able to resist them much longer. She picked up a bowl of fruit which had mango, strawberries, and cherries in it. “Here have some fruit and also some veggies.” She picked up the plate of carrots and broccoli. I grabbed a small plate and put a few pieces of each food she held in front of me.

“Do you happen to have anything to drink?”

“Oh how rude of me.” She placed the food down and pulled two water bottles out. “I’m so sorry Sesshomaru. I was so excited for you to try my food that I forgot that I brought water for us.”

“It’s quite alright,” I let her know. She can be a bit of a ditz, but that’s what I like about her personality. “When do you take your exam for culinary school?”

“At the end of the month. I’m a bit nervous though. The school I’m trying to get into, well they expect high results. So since I’m planning the cod cutlets I want to create a sauce to put as a drizzle on top. So far ones I’ve made in the past don’t taste great with it,” she said softly.

“Why not try salsa? Possibly mango?” I hope these ideas brighten her day.

“Mango salsa?” She thought. “Oh wow that actually could work. Thank you Sesshomaru,” she bowed to me with gratitude. “When I make it, will you be my first tester?”

“Are you trying to make me your guinea pig?” I asked, giving her an awkward smile.

“Haha, maybe. Besides no one else, even my other friends wouldn’t try my food. So you were the only one I knew would.”

I couldn’t turn her down for that. “I’ll be your guinea pig.”

“Yay! Thank you. I promise this will be a meal you’ll love the most.”

0/0/0/0

Later after we cleaned up our lunch, we went and looked around the festival. The vendors tried to persuade us into buying their products. The items weren’t equally as special as the gift I’ll present Rin later. The perfumes burnt my nose that I had to pull us away from them. “I don’t blame you for wanting to get away from the perfume vendors Sesshomaru. The aroma is too strong for me,” she said softly. “I prefer aromas that are light with a hint of citrus.” I smiled very quickly at her words.

As we veered around everyone dark clouds started to cover the sky. “Looks like it’s going to get bad here soon. Come Rin, let’s get under a pavilion.” I took her hand without asking and I booked us under the closest one near us. I guess others had the same thought. “We’ll wait here till the storm passes.” The rain came down in sheets. Lots of people were getting soaked. It’s a good thing I got us under here fast because we both would have been soaked like everyone else. Plus with Rin’s white kimono, she would be totally exposed and I couldn’t let that happen.

“Okay, let’s take a seat,” she pointed towards the dirty tables. I can’t let Rin get her white kimono dirty. So instead I took a seat and pulled her over my lap. “Umm, Sesshomaru?” She had a look of confusion in her eyes.

“You’ll get your kimono dirty if you sit on the bench. We’ll move here soon.” I can tell the storm won’t last long. Maybe ten minutes at most.

“Okay. Is there anything you want to do later? I know they’re having a fireworks show tonight.” I looked at my phone again and it was almost two-thirty.

“It’s still quite a while till the show starts. We can go get a cup of tea after the storm passes.”

“Tea sounds lovely. Do you want to go to one of the cafes in town or here at the park?”

“In town.” I don’t care for vendors’ tea. They aren’t worth the money. Rin suddenly moved and rested her head against my shoulder. “Are you cold Rin?” I thought I felt a slight shiver from her.

“A little, but I’ll be okay. I enjoy the cool breeze. I’m sorry, I should have asked if it was okay to lay my head against you,” she said as she tried to sit up. I pulled her back against me and released my mokomoko. This would be the first time she would see my tail. I wrapped it around her, not daring to let her go. “Umm…is this alright?”

“It’s quite alright. My tail will keep you warm.”

Her delicate hand slithered through my fur which actually felt comforting. “Your tail is so fluffy and cozy Sesshomaru. Why have you never shown me your true side before?”

“I just never thought about it. Is it something you wish to see?” I’ve kind of debated several times to show her my true form. But fear struck me thinking she would run off.

“Yes, but only if you are comfortable with showing me,” her voice was very smooth when she said those words. “If not today, maybe sometime in the future?”

“We’ll see, for now let’s go and get some tea.” The rain finally came to an end and the clouds started to disperse. Retrieving my mokomoko we both got to our feet and walked out towards the city.

The cafe was right across the street from the park. Inside I ordered us simple jasmine tea. “It seems that all the seats are taken, Sesshomaru. Why don’t we just go for a walk? I know there’s a path in the park that goes a bit into the woods. I heard rumors of a meadow that’s very beautiful and filled with lots of flowers.”

I knew of the meadow she spoke of. “Sure,” without asking I took her hand and we left the cafe and headed for the path. It took us a bit to get through the crowds of people since it was getting a lot busier than it was earlier. But after a few minutes we finally made it under the arbor of trees within the woods.

“I love the smell of the forest after a rainstorm. What about you, Sesshomaru?” She asked as she took a sip of her hot tea.

“Only during the night when the moon is out,” I explained to her.

“I have to agree with you on that Sesshomaru. The way the moon shines on the glistening raindrops has a calming effect,” I didn’t respond. “I love to listen to music during and after the rain,” She said joyfully.

“What music would that be?” I’m kind of curious because I don’t know what she listens to.

“I’m the weird type when it comes to music. But…I love to listen to Frédéric Chopin’s ‘Raindrop’. There’s something about his pieces I love to fall asleep to.” So she’s into piano music?

“It doesn’t make you weird. I too listen to different composers of the piano. The music stimulates the brain in a good way. It helps me focus on studying.”

I guess my response enlightened her. “That’s amazing Sesshomaru. It makes me happy knowing someone else enjoys the same type of music as me.”

I wonder if she’ll let me play some Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata? I’ll ask her at a later date. We both remained quiet for quite some time. We both finished our teas and threw them away in a proper trash can tear the meadow. I could tell we were the only ones that would be there. It was quiet and calm. The only sound of people were back at the park. Since no one else was here, I was now debating to show Rin my true form. “Rin?” I said her name so softly.

“Yes Sesshomaru?” We were now in the middle of meadow. The sun was slowly setting behind the trees with just enough light for her to see my form.

“Would you like to see my form?” I asked quickly.

I looked to see not only her expression, but her response. “I would love to see your true form Sesshomaru. Do I need to stand back? Is right here fine?”

“Right here is fine. Just allow me to step back a few feet. But promise me one thing,” I said as I held up a finger.

Her eyes became like saucers, “what’s that?” She asked quickly.

“Please do not run off under any circumstances. My form will be ten times the size of the normal size dog.”

“I promise. I bet your form will be amazing. Just promise not to chase me, haha,” she said jokingly.

I only nodded and stepped back several feet. Clearing my mind, a white cool wind blew around me and I allowed my eyes to turn red. The markings along my face changed shape and soon my body changed from my human form to my true form. I went from a five and ten inches man to almost thirty-five feet tall.

I never took my eyes off of Rin. I could tell she was holding her breath and she must be a bit nervous. I lowered myself in front of her. But it would be nice if I could talk but it’s one thing I lack in my true form. “Sess…Sesshomaru?” I nodded my head to reassure that it was me. “Wow!” She carefully lifted her hand to the side of my muzzle. “So soft,” she whispered softly. “Is there anything else you can do in this form?”

“I wonder if she’ll allow me to take her on a flight?” I turned my body to the side. Hopefully she’ll understand why I did this.

“Do you want me to get on your back?” I could tell she was a bit hesitant. I nodded my head to her again. “Okay, I’m guessing I’m going to need to hold on tight?” She asked as she climbed up on my back. I could feel she was side saddling.

I nodded my head again and bounded into the air. I could feel her body heat against my back and her head hiding within my neck. I guess I should have explained myself better of what she was about to face. I stopped midway into the air and lightly purred that it was okay to look up.

It took her a few minutes before I felt Rin lift herself up. I heard her lightly gasp, “oh wow. The view is magnificent Sesshomaru.” I brought her high into the sky as she viewed the city we live in from a different perspective. “Sesshomaru why didn’t you tell me you could fly? You’re amazing and very well gifted with such power.” She laid down again and started rubbing the fur along my neck. “I wished you would’ve shown me much sooner. I want to get to know you more, Sesshomaru, each and every day we’re together.”

With those words I transferred back to my human form, grabbed her before she could fall, and pulled her around so I could hold her waist. “You’ll learn in due time. Before you can ask your next question as I can see in your eyes, yes I can fly in my human form.”

Her bright smile turned to laughter, “you can read me like an open book Sesshomaru. Oh!” Her hand went to her head and I could see the tight bun it was in earlier was now a mess. She pulled the hairpin out and allowed her raven hair to fall down past her waist. “Much better. That hairpin has been bothering me all day,” she laughably said.

“Hmm, ready to go back to the festival?” I asked her.

She smiled brightly, “yes.”

0/0/0/0

Nighttime came and the festival was in full swing. The same couples young and old gathered all around the park. The fireworks show would be starting soon and everyone was trying to get the best spot. Rin and myself found a perfect spot on an island in the middle of the lake. We set the picnic blanket back up and took our seats. I left her for a few minutes and flew back with new cups of hot tea. “Just in time Sesshomaru, they’ll be starting soon.” I handed her the jasmine tea she requested. “Thank you.”

We took our seats again and sat there in silence for a few moments when I remember the gift for Rin I still had in my pocket. Placing my cup down I pulled the white box with gold ribbon out. “Here Rin, this is my White Day gift for you. I hope you like it,” I said softly.

She smiled happily, “Sesshomaru you didn’t have to get me anything. You just being with me today was the best gift I could ask for.” She gently took the gift from me and opened it. When she opened the velvet blue box her eyes lit up. “Sess…Sesshomaru, this necklace is beautiful, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” I wanted to see how it looked on her. “Lift your hair up,” I said as I pulled the necklace from its resting spot. She did as I told her and I wrapped the necklace around her delicate neck and clipped it into place.

She turned around to face me, “so…how does it look?”

Only one word described how it presented on her exposed neck, “perfect.”

Suddenly bright lights shot into the sky across the lake from us. Different colors of white, gold, silver and many other colors lit before us.

“The sky is so beautiful Sesshomaru, I have to say today has to be the best day for us.”

“Indeed,” the only thing that was beautiful was the girl next to me.

As we watched the show Rin turned to face me. Her hair blew with the light wind, “Sesshomaru I want to try something.”

“What would that be?”

She leaned in till her lips were several inches from mine, “allow me to be your first kiss.” I didn’t even respond back. I nodded my head as we slowly leaned into one another and parted our lips. When we contacted skin to skin heat built up between us. It was just as I imagined how our first kiss would be. Her arms wrapped around my neck and I cupped her cheek. I even wrapped my free arm around her waist. Her lips were warm and I could taste her scent of plum blossoms. Abruptly as our first kiss started, it ended. Rin pulled back just a bit, but rested her forehead against mine. “I love you Sesshomaru,” she finally said.

“As do I my dear Rin.” I took her lips to mine again, as we ignored the finale of the fireworks for the White Day festival.

[hey-angelle]

#ParaSaLaude

© Photo by Hasan Almasi on Unsplash

Life is a battle, and in a battle, there are always the victors and the losers. 

[ NOTE: I don’t know what to call this. I wrote this while I was in a deeply emotional state last June 2019. This contains two parts, one written on June 7, 2019, and the other was written on June 12, 2019. The version uploaded in here is not the original anymore, for I have made certain revisions and added more words to it. For the second part, it was originally one paragraph long, so I decided to add more (the paragraph marked with the asterisk marks the start of the additional paragraphs I wrote). I’ve tried to capture the same emotions I’ve felt a year ago, and I don’t know if the 2019 me would approve of it, but hey, I tried my best! ] 

WARNING: Explicit language. Part one written in English, part two written in Filipino. 

Word Count: 797 words.

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Part I, June 7, 2019. 

This was a hashtag I coined to motivate me with my shifting from the Accountancy to the Arts and Letters, but in all honesty, I don’t know if this dream is even feasible, all because I failed an accounting subject. A dream that I had for so long was robbed of me that fast. 

A part of me blames myself for not being good enough, for being a lazy, good-for-nothing, and incompetent student. I am enraged at myself (if there is a word heavier than “enraged,” let me know, because that’s how I feel with myself). I never loathed myself more than I did now. Sure, I had my fair shair of screw-ups in the past, but clearly I’ve outdone myself this time. Even if I put all the effort into studying the material, it will never be enough. What’s wrong with me? Am I that stupid, dumb, and dull-witted to not even understand the material that fast? How come my classmates can understand the topics easily? I think even if I cried a bucketful of crimson red tears, it would never be enough. With my previous college, I don’t think I can ever be enough. A part of me blames the system: the system that favors only the top students rather than nurture the ones with potential. The system that throws away “defective” students because they fell short with the set standards. And sadly, I am a throw-away because I fell short, but who am I to complain? When I entered this college, I knew there were standards I had to live up to, yet I still didn’t make it. And just like that, the college I looked up to has debarred me from my dream.

It fucking hurts: you know, giving it you all only for it to give unsatisfactory results. Left and right, you’d see students that are highly anxious and secretly feeling down because of their grades. They plaster on these smiling facades in an attempt to block out what they really feel (I know I have been). I have seen how hardworking and diligent my peers are, but sadly, those aren’t enough. What matters is that you pass the exams because that is what they take into account. Besides, exam scores and grades are much more quantifiable rather than effort, right? 

I will swear by my blood and death that I will graduate with honors. I want to go up the stage, at least four years from now, and a medal will be put over my head, signifying my glory over my failure. I might have to go against all odds for that to happen and I believe that if it’s for me, it’s for me. A famous line goes “slytherins always get what they want” (as in with the sorting hat song: “those cunning folks use any means to achieve their ends”). 

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Part II, June 12, 2019.

Araw ng Kalayaan ngayon. Isang daan at dalawampu’t isang taon na ang nakalipas mula noong makalaya ang Pilipinas sa kamay ng mga manlulupig. At sa araw din na ito, malaya ka na: ang pangarap kong maging Laude. Ang hirap mong pakawalan dahil sa simula pa lamang ng giyera ay napasakamay ka na ng kalaban. Handa naman akong lumaban pa eh – may plano na ako pero dahil sa isang pagkakamali, nagbago ang lahat. Labis na nadudurog ang puso ko dahil sa naging kapalaran. Kahit anong pagpupursigi ang aking gawin, hinding-hindi ko na muling makukuha o makakamit ang pangarap. 

**Tila ba ako’y binaril sa dibdib dahil sa bigat ng aking nararamdaman. Hindi man ako namatay sa tama ng bala, habang buhay naman akong paralisado. Ang pagkaparalisa ay magsisilbing paalala sa isang maling desisyon na nagbago sa takbo ng aking buhay. Lugi naman ako sa labang ‘to, baka pwedeng isuko ko na lang? Tutal wala naman na pala itong patutunguhan. Pero bakit ganun? Palagi na lang ba akong talunan sa buhay na ‘to? Tangina. Papanalo naman ng isa oh. Paranas naman sa akin ang tamis ng pagkapanalo kasi pagod na pagod na akong umuwing luhaan at bigo. 

May pag-asa pa bang baguhin ang ihip ng hangin, o kaya ibalik ang nakalipas na oras? Nais ko sanang kausapin ang nakababatang bersiyon ng aking sarili. Gigisingin ko siya sa kaniyang pagkahibang na kakayanin niya ang kursong tinahak niya. Nais kong sabihan siya na huwag nang ipilit pa ang kaniyang sarili dahil hindi naman siya roon nababagay. Lalo lang niya ipinapahamak ang sarili dahil sa kahibangang ito. Sana’y nakinig siya sa sa pagdadalawang-isip noon at baka ngayo’y hindi tayo nasa ganitong situwasyon. Ang tanga-tanga talaga, puta. Wala na ata siyang ginawa at piniling tama sa kaniyang buhay. 

Napapagod na ako. Sabak tayo nang sabak sa giyera pero kahit isa ay hindi naman nananalo. Putanginang buhay. 

** Added as of August 20, 2020.

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[team-annex]

I. First Meeting, First Case

A/N: Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything original on here. Apologies. I deleted this off of AO3, but was just recently going through my docs and found it again. I do love this story and want to post it completed. It is finished, but needs editing. 

The ones after this aren’t as long, but I got carried away when I first wrote this so it’s lengthy. 

word count: 14.4k (holy fck, i’m sorry lolol) | Normally I write Casekiel, but it’s an OC this time. :) | it’s fluff. I write fluff. I love fluff. f l u f f |

She’d only met him a few times. She wasn’t sure when he arrived, but he was always wandering around when she got there. Typically, she’d arrive two hours before closing as many of the museumgoers were on their way out and she could plant herself in front of the marble statues. Being an artist was never a dream of hers, but sketching human bodies were therapeutic. Bones were the same, but it’s how they were used that made everyone different. And she loved that idea.

She also found her fellow museum enthusiast interesting. He held himself well, paraded around the museum like he was meant to be there. But he stuck out. He seemed to pass through the sculptures without really looking at them. And always with a pizza in hand.

She still isn’t sure where the pizza came from, because food was never allowed in the museum.

“You’re in here a lot,” an Australian accent had said one day.

She glanced up from the sketch she was working on. Her right hand splayed over the drawing to block it from view. “Yeah… just… need time to wind down.”

The man tilted his head, taking her in the way she was taking in him. It was the first time she’d really noticed his tanned complexion up close. “Student?”

“Yeah.” She matched his head tilt. “You?”

The man laughed, shaking his head. “Uni was… was never really for me.”

“If you noticed that I’m in here a lot, then you’re in here just as often as I am.”

He tipped his head both ways before sitting next to her. “I mean… I did what I needed to do here. I mostly come back because I’ve been hoping you would notice I was here too.”

Her eyebrows lifted in surprise, because was this guy… hitting on her?

He held a hand out. “Zeke.”

Her eyes darted to the right hand he was offering and glanced down at her drawing, which her right hand was covering. “Sneaky.”

Zeke chuckled and dropped his hand. “Caught me. I’m just too curious.” He leaned towards her. “I am also curious about your name.”

“Call me M.”

Zeke whistled. “And I thought I was cryptic. You get a name and I get a letter?” He looked up to the sculpture they were seated before. “Did you hear that no name from 325 AD? She won’t give me her name.”

“Can you blame me?” M chuckled, closing her sketchbook because there was no way she was going to finish her drawing today. “A random Australian guy who I’ve seen strolling around here with pizza suddenly comes up and talks to me? I don’t think so.”

“What? Why not?” Zeke asked, standing as she did.

M stared at him through her large circular frames. She was dressed in her favourite white hoodie and black jeans with rips at the knees. She’d had an exam earlier that day and wanted to be comfortable. And normally, she was pretty unassuming anyhow. “I’m not the kind of girl that attractive foreigners come up to talk to.”

Zeke’s eyes fell to the sketchbook under her arm. “I like art and I’ve learned to like people who appreciate art. Ergo, I like you.”

M narrowed her eyes at him. “I haven’t seen you walk up to every girl in here with her friends who are talking about art.”

“Art isn’t appreciated just because you talk about it,” Zeke told her. He fell into step with her, which surprised her even more. “You appreciate art the way that I appreciate art.” He paused to think about that statement and then corrected himself. “Well no, not exactly. But I like the way you appreciate it. You come back and you look at it more. And I know you don’t do it just to look sophisticated or whatever, because you sit in front of one sculpture and sketch for two hours.”

She shrugged. “I mean, you got me there.”

M thinks about Zeke from time to time. After that initial conversation, he would join her at whatever sculpture she was drawing that day. Sometimes they would talk while she drew, but mostly, he would just sit next to her and scroll through his phone until she was ready to go. Then he would walk with her to the exit, sometimes taking them the long way just to ask about her life. He would never actually leave with her. He would stand by the door of the museum as if he was escorting her out of his house.

And then one day, Zeke just stopped showing up. She was a little disheartened the first month he didn’t show at all (well, more than a little disheartened, it hurt more than she expected), but she learned to move on. However, his description about art appreciation had resonated with her. She finished her science degree, a major in chemistry under her belt. But she didn’t walk out of university and head straight into the pharmaceutical degree that she had originally planned on doing.

Instead, she went to work at the Louvre where she was first hired as an usher. She had to brush up on her French, but she loved it there. The language, the culture of Paris, the eccentric people she met. M understood perfectly now what Zeke had meant.

People appreciated art in different ones. There were the ones who came in, because you had to come to the Louvre when you were in Paris. There were the ones who lived in the city and took in different sections due to the immense size of the museum. Art critics came to see the new exhibits when they were offered. And then she met the regulars; the ones who returned time and time again, not on a regular schedule, but who came so often and would spend hours in one section of the museum. They were the ones who were in no rush or on a time constraint, who came for the sole reason to look at the art.

Four years later, M finds herself down in the basement of the museum, carefully cataloguing the new pieces that were slowly going to be introduced. The Mona Lisa is always the star attraction and she’s okay with that. Mona Lisa is an interesting painting, but in no way was she M’s favourite. There’s an entire wing with murals on the ceiling and gold along the walls. She can sit there for hours just to admire all the details.

Then the sculptures wing. The sculptures wing always got her. When the museum closes and she’s the one locking up, she’ll take the time to sketch a sculpture. Two if she’s speed drawing.

Besides the new introductions, the Louvre is also doing an Egyptian exhibit for the little kids. There are a few relics to entice their parents, but mostly it’s learning tools. She rotates the doll of Cleopatra in her hands, wondering why she’s even thinking of Zeke right now.

As she’s closing up for the night, she heads up the steps from the basement, intending to lock the offices upstairs and double-checking the front door. But then she runs into somebody and she yelps in surprise.

Standing before her are two men clad in black. Her immediate assumption is that they’re thieves. But thieves would wear masks. Or at least they should, because the security in the Louvre is pretty high tech. She doesn’t know all the ins and outs, just enough to know it’s near impossible to break in let alone steal anything.

“You said no one would be here, Jones,” one of the men hisses.

She places the accent as American, but the next voice doesn’t take her long to place. “M?”

“Zeke?”

If the tone of the American is anything to go on, he must be shocked. It’s hard to make him out though, as he’s so backlit. And frankly with Zeke in front of her, she can’t really see anything else. “You know her?”

“Uh, yeah,” Zeke mutters. “But,” he turns to his friend, “can we talk about that later?” He faces her again. “What are you doing here?”

M points to her nametag. “I work here.”

Even in the dim light of the stairwell, she catches his smile. “You work at a museum?”

“Yeah,” she chuckles. “Mostly cataloguing, a bit of filing, set up for exhibits, sometimes security if the need arises.” Her expression deadpans. “Speaking of security, what the hell are you doing here?”

Zeke’s mouth drops a bit and then he says, “Uh, Stone?”

“We… were… uh,” Stone starts to stammer. “Can we talk about this in a… an actual room?”

“What I should really do is call the police,” M states.

“But you won’t,” Zeke says, conviction in his voice.

“And why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you would rather hear why I’m here than have to deal with the paperwork with the police.”

She narrows her eyes at him, but he cracks another grin and she can’t help but comply. “Come on.”

M leads them back up the stairway. Despite the distinct hissing and slapping sounds, she doesn’t look back. It seems too good to be true that Zeke has casually just wandered back into her life. After hours. Dressed all in black. With an American man.

She takes them to the security room, but tells them to wait outside. After quickly scanning the room to make sure no one is in there, which obviously there wasn’t because these two just wandered in, they reconvene at one of the benches near the exit.

The moonlight streams through the pyramid above them and she is able to take a good look at the two men invading her museum. The American man, Stone, is rugged with blue eyes, smile lines framing either side. He’s got a bulkier build than Zeke, but he seems like a stereotypical Southern man to her. She’s only ever seen a Southern man in the moves, never really meeting any foreigners in her hometown in England or many quintessential Southern men in Paris.

Zeke takes a seat next to her as Stone stands with his legs spread and his arms crossed over his chest. Zeke looks the exact same as the last day she saw him. His hair is styled better, out of his face. He’s also filled out a bit. Either that or his clothes have gotten tighter. It may be a mixture of both. The air he gives off now is more relaxed than mischievous, as it used to be.

“Is that how you spell M?” Zeke demands, leaning forward to read her nametag. “E-M? I always thought it was just the letter.”

“They asked me what I wanted on my nametag and I said just ‘M’. This is what I got. It really is just the letter.” M waves her hands between them. “But that’s not what we’re talking about. What we’re talking about is what you guys are doing here”

Stone and Zeke exchange a look, so she starts to pull out her phone. Quickly, Zeke reaches for her hand to stop her. “Wait, we’ll explain.”

M’s hand falls to her lap. “You have two minutes to explain to me why you’re here after hours.”

“I really didn’t think you were going to be here,” Zeke promises first.

Ezekiel stumbles after Jake through the Back Door.

“I can’t believe your answer to what the hell we were doing there was that I got locked in the bathroom and you just managed to get me out. And then we got lost and went to the basement for funsies!” Jake yells at him as soon as the Door swings shut behind them.

Ezekiel ruffles his hair. “I know. Really not my best lie, but she didn’t call the police.” He starts towards the kitchen to make food to settle his stomach, but Jake has other plans. Jake yanks on his arm to whirl him around.

“How does she know you? Ezekiel Jones works in the shadows and she basically called you by your real name.”

“She doesn’t know my name is Ezekiel Jones,” Ezekiel sighs exasperatedly. “We met years ago. That’s not the point. The point is that we’re going to have to find another way to get that amulet.”

Cassandra and Eve walk into the room just as he says this. “What? Was it not there?” Eve asks.

“We aren’t even sure,” Jake grumbles. The team meet at the table. “Jones knew the security woman and—”

“She isn’t a security woman.”

Jake gives him an odd look, as Ezekiel isn’t usually one for technicality. “Oh-kay… The woman closing knew Jones and she wouldn’t let us back down to the basement. She waited for us to leave, sat in front of the basement door with her eyes closed.”

“Why were her eyes closed?” Cassandra asks.

Ezekiel rolls his eyes. “She can’t know about the Magic Door! So I said she could sit in front of the basement door, count to fifteen, and then head home.”

“And she just went with it?” Eve scoffs.

Jake puts both his arms out towards Ezekiel. “Exactly! She’s a smart woman, but she believed the really awful lies he told.”

“Awful as in…?” Cassandra starts to ask.

“As in they were horrible lies. Things you would never believe in a million years if you were a rational being.” Jake shrugs, his head shaking from the intense disbelief in his body. “But for some reason, she believed him.”

Eve and Cassandra turn to their thief with raised eyebrows. “Ezekiel.”

Ezekiel’s arms cross over his chest defensively. “What?”

“Who’s the woman?” Eve asks.

“Can we get back to the whole reason why we went there? Cleopatra’s amulet.” Ezekiel huffs as he wanders out of the room. In the kitchen, where he knows that Cassandra and Eve refuse to venture, he takes a few deep breaths. The memory of initially seeing M at the Louvre when they were casing the place is engrained in his mind, because he’d gasped so loudly that Cassandra had given him a strange look that day.

His left hand clenches unconsciously and he glances down at it, suddenly remembering her hand. It was the first time they’d actually made physical contact and he’d never noticed her hands were so small. To be fair, he hadn’t thought about her since he was whisked into the Library. But now that he is thinking about her, he mutters, “This is going to be annoying.”

“We know that the amulet will be there eventually,” Eve says at their next briefing. “It’s in their pamphlet. But of course, we aren’t the only ones after it.” Her attention settles on Ezekiel. “Do you think if you went during the day, and we ran interference, you would be able to recover it?”

Ezekiel shrugs. “I’ve cased the place, even before I was a Librarian. I know it pretty well. It’s just the magical security.”

Cassandra nods in agreement. “We know that every piece entered into the Louvre is blanketed by the magical security. Once the intention of stealing is determined by the security system or walked out of the Louvre, the security will ping.”

“And I don’t know how to stop that,” Ezekiel finishes.

“If we disabled the magical security,” Eve suggests.

Eve looks to Cassandra, but Jenkins walks in before the redhead can answer. “It will take far too long to crack the security.”

They look back at him to await an explanation. Jenkins has the information readily available as he takes his tea to his desk. He points out the Louvre’s focal point on a ley line and then explains that due to its intense magical resonance that the Louvre is able to change the security around it. “I would be very surprised if the actual security guards, of which there are only ever two, know what puzzles or trickery the system has up its sleeve today.”

Jenkins sets his tray down and looks at them all. “However, if I’ve learned anything over the years, it is that the magical system works on fairness.”

They stare at him, but he shrugs in response. “That’s all I’ve learned. I cannot tell you more than that. I’ve never tried to break into the Louvre.”

Their gaze shifts to Ezekiel and he shrugs. “I haven’t stolen from the Louvre since magic came back into the world. Least we know that M isn’t one of the security guards.” Jake gives him a distinct look. “She doesn’t know,” he insists.

“How would—”

“If she knew, she would have definitely known we were coming yesterday,” Ezekiel finishes.

Eve sighs. “Can we take the amulet even if there are magical securities around it?’’

Jenkins gives his head a slight shake, at a loss.

The Guardian turns back to her team. “Well then, I say we risk it. Magical security we can deal with when we get there. Let’s go.”

Jenkins sets the Door for the Louvre and the four rush through, stumbling out of the men’s bathroom. Cassandra quickly moves through the room, recalling where the basement door is situated to deter anyone else from finding it. Eve and Jake walk with Ezekiel to the door and block him from view as he cracks the keypad lock. He types in the password and swipes his fake ID card. They all hear the faint chime when the door grants him entrance.

“Don’t you dare think of stealing anything else,” Eve hisses as Ezekiel disappears into the stairwell.

“You guys underestimate my moral code.”

“I think we agreed that that was still a huge work in progress,” Jake answers as the door closes.

Ezekiel rolls his eyes and pockets the ID card. The lights are off, and with the door closed, it’s almost impossible to see. Carefully, he picks his way down the steps, going on touch than his other senses until the lights of the basement flood the last few steps. Working off the mental map he’d created from the blueprints of the Louvre, he knows that the basement has one hallway with rooms branching off. His thief intuition tells him that the amulet and the new Egyptian catalogue are in the largest room, which is at the end of this hall.

Hurrying forward, he notices that this door is slightly ajar. His gait slows and he peeks through the gap of the door. Most of the lights are off, but there’s a faint glow likely from smaller lamps further in the room. He checks the hinges on the door, peering through to gauge how old they are. They look well oiled, so he doesn’t expect them to creak. Nonetheless, he slowly pushes the door open to give himself just enough space to squeeze through.

His back presses against the wall and he shuffles to the right to disappear in the shadows. He could make out a figure as soon as he entered, but not enough to gauge what they were doing or who they were. Stealthily, he stays close to the wall and the moves through the shelves to get closer to the desk in the center. His eyes flick over the boxes, which are all labeled. Most of them are files, some dating right back to the opening of the Louvre in 1793. A few of them go back even further, but Ezekiel doesn’t have time to wonder or inspect what’s inside those.

Ezekiel reaches the end of the shelves and starts to make his way over. From his vantage point, he can see the desk is cluttered with items, a few of them relics he recognizes from other museums.

It’s hard to mistake M’s ash brown, nearly gray locks. “M?”

She spins around. Dangling in her right hand is the amulet he came down to… borrow. “God,” she sighs, her hand falling to her chest. “You scared me.” M pauses, quickly realizing that he really shouldn’t be there. Her grip tightens on the amulet and she takes a step back. “What are you doing here?”

“I—”

“You’re a thief,” M states. It seems to hit her all of a sudden. “That’s why you’re here, why you came back. You want to steal something.”

“I—”

“And your friend came to help you.”

Her voice is turning accusatory. Normally, that wouldn’t matter to him, but coming from M, it hits a little closer to his heart. Ezekiel lifts his hands up, showing her that they’re empty and he has no intention of hurting her. “M, please.”

“Stay where you are, Zeke.”

“Can I explain?”

“You did yesterday.” She rolls her eyes. “It was a stupid lie. It kept me up all night how ridiculous it sounded. But I wanted to believe you, Zeke. You knew I’d believe you.”

“I know, I know, I know. M, please,” he quickly says. “Just let me really explain.”

“Why should I let you?” Her voice quiets down. “You made me feel special and then disappeared without a trace. You didn’t even say goodbye to me.”

“I can explain that too. M, please, just…”

Before he can say anything more, a deeper voice calls out. “Min!”

“Yeah? Jungkook!”

Ezekiel shakes his head furiously. “M, please,” he whispers.

M’s eyes narrow at him and shouts louder to smite him. “Kook!”

Suddenly, a tall man enters the room. He has a box under both arms, a black trench coat over his put together outfit of a tight blue turtleneck and black dress pants. They show off his ankles, putting his black shoes on display. Ezekiel swears he’s seen them on some Instagram model he scrolled past once.

The man, Jungkook, slows. When Ezekiel gets a closer look at him, he notes Jungkook’s baby face.

“Min, who’s this?” Jungkook asks as he sets the boxes down.

“Zeke, meet Jungkook. Jungkook, Zeke,” M says. Her voice is dismissive and she turns to face Jungkook, apparently done with him.

“Why is he calling you Min?” Ezekiel demands.

Jungkook’s perfectly thick eyebrows rise at the hostility, but M simply gives Ezekiel a solid look to shut up. “You knew M wasn’t my real name.”

“And Min is?”

Jungkook lifts the lid of one of the boxes. “Does he not know your name? Why is he here?”

“He was actually just leaving.”

“M.”

Jungkook glances over at him, his hands buried in the box. “Min, cut the guy a break. He seems—”

“Desperate,” M finishes.

Jungkook tips his head as he digs through the box for whatever he’s looking for. “Not what I was going to say. I would’ve used… anguished, agitated.”

Ezekiel can’t stand this. He joins them at the table to inspect the work they’re doing. From what he can piece together, they’re putting together information for the relics. A few basic facts about Cleopatra’s time are set aside. Before he can say anything, his phone starts to vibrate in his pocket.

He turns away while Jungkook and M talk behind him, discussing what was vital information that ought to be put in the exhibit.

“Jones, we got company,” Jake says. “How close are you to finding the amulet?”

“I can see it.” Ezekiel turns back around and Jungkook and M are holding it between them, pointing at something on the table. “But I can’t get it.”

Jake takes a second to answer. “That’s new.” He sounds surprised. “Why are you saying that?”

“Tell him he doesn’t have time to dawdle,” Eve hisses. “They’re going to go straight for that basement door when they figure out where it is.”

“I can’t just grab it,” Ezekiel whispers.

“Why are you—she’s there, isn’t she?”

Eve huffs. “Who’s she?”

“His girlfriend.”

“Not my girlfriend. Give me like ten minutes.”

“You don’t have—” Eve starts to say, but he hangs up the phone before she can say anything. Nicking the amulet from M’s hand will be easy as pie. It’s the implications of actually stealing it out of her hand that will make this ten times worse. He doesn’t know why he cares so much that M doesn’t hate him, but he really wouldn’t be able to live with himself if she did.

“Do you need me to walk you out?” M asks, looking at him. “Because unless you’re going to try to steal the files, there isn’t anything of real value in this room.”

Jungkook scribbles down a few notes and looks over at Ezekiel. “You’re stealing? That’s why he’s here?”

Ezekiel decides that the direct approach might be the best way to do this. “I have no time to explain how I know, you’re just going to have to trust me. But there are people on their way down here to steal that amulet in your hands.”

Jungkook asks, “You work for the police?”

“No, I’m a Librarian,” Ezekiel answers.

Something shifts in their faces and he’s surprised that it works this time. That ‘I’m a Librarian’ announcement has been faulty for a while.

“So I’m just supposed to hand this over and it’s safe? Do you know how old this is?” M demands.

“Probably better than you do,” he says. “Look, M, you just have to trust me.”

“You’ve given me no reason to do so, Zeke.”

“How about I start with saying that my name isn’t actually Zeke and that it’s Ezekiel?”

Jungkook’s eyes dart between them, confused by the back and forth. “Min, you’re acting weird. Well, more… hostile.”

“If you had to deal with Ezekiel, you’d be acting weird too.”

Jungkook nods his head slowly and shoots Ezekiel an apologetic look. Ezekiel hates to admit it, but Jungkook seems like a half-decent human. So Ezekiel thinks it’ll be easier to reason with him rather than M right now. “The amulet has the coordinates for Cleopatra’s hidden headdress. There is a secret organization that has been determined to find her treasures, believing that it is infused with incredible power. That amulet will tell them everything, so they can’t have it.”

“How do we know you’re not the bad guy?” Jungkook enquires, his hand releasing the chain.

“M knows who I am and you seem to know her well. Is her judge of character terrible?”

“Ah, ah, ah,” M protests. Her hand covers the amulet on the table. “You are not using him against me.”

Jungkook shrugs. “Maybe he’s right, though, Min. Maybe we should just listen to him.”

M’s eyes are full of disbelief and her lips downturn as she stares back at Jungkook. “Do you know how insane he sounds? Or is that just me? He’s implying that magic exists or something like that.”

“You always say that sometimes the paintings feel like they’re alive. How implausible could it be that other people would believe it? He doesn’t have to be right about magic, but he could be right about people coming to steal the amulet because they believe,” Jungkook reasons.

His reasoning seems to cause M to hesitate.

“I literally have nothing to go on but your word,” she says to Ezekiel.

Ezekiel doesn’t like the tone of her voice and attempts to come up with another solution. “You can come with me. Once you see the amulet is safe with me, you can leave,” Ezekiel promises. In their silent contemplation, Ezekiel can hear faint tapping. It’s growing in volume and his phone is vibrating. He doesn’t have to check the ID to know who it is. “Stone, I know. I can hear them. I said—”

“We tried. There were too many to distract,” Jake interrupts him. “Do you have it?”

“Sorta,” Ezekiel winces. The footsteps are coming closer. He reaches for M’s hand and pulls her towards the shelves. He motions for Jungkook to follow and leads them into the darkness of the archives. “I kinda have it.”

“I don’t know what that means. We can’t come in to help you,” Jake informs him.

Eve’s voice echoes down the line. “You’re gonna be on your own, Jones.”

Ezekiel hangs a right down one of the far shelves. “Where’s Cass?” he whispers.

“I don’t know,” Jake answers offhandedly. “Somewhere in the museum.”

There’s a long pause as Ezekiel lets those words sink in. “Oh my god, where’s Cassandra?”

Ezekiel turns to M, whose hand is still wrapped in his own. “That security room you locked up last night. Is that the only one?”

“Why would you—?”

Ezekiel tips his head, exasperated. “My friend could be in trouble.”

“It’s not the only one,” Jungkook whispers. He keeps peeking through the shelves over the boxes. Ezekiel can’t recall if Jungkook properly closed the door after him. “There is another one that none of the employees are actually allowed inside. We just assumed it was an electricity room powering the security systems.”

“Where is it?”

“Somewhere past Venus’s statue,” Jungkook says. “I think.”

Ezekiel quickly relays this information through the phone. “If Cass isn’t there, she’s probably looking for it. Disabling the magical security will make getting this amulet out of here 100 times easier.”

“We’re on it. Don’t let them get their hands on that thing,” Eve says. “Call us if you need us.”

“Well I need you right now, but you can’t help me.”

Eve sighs loudly. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, yeah. Got it.” He hangs up the phone and tucks it away, just in time for the door to swing open. Ezekiel can make out four voices, likely speaking Egyptian. He holds a finger to his lips and leads them further into the stacks. “You have the amulet on you, right?” he whispers.

M dangles it in front of his face and nods.

They hurry down the aisle. Ezekiel pauses, because of the break between the shelves. The lights from the desk don’t illuminate this far, but he’s learned that trained eyes can still make out dark figures. While Jungkook is dressed all in black, M has a yellow dress on which will be easier to make out. Subtly, he peeks around the corner. It takes two minutes for the four bodies to move towards the desk.

Ezekiel motions for them to run. He’s surprised that despite Jungkook’s taller stature he’s quite light on his feet. M has a heavier footfall, but not enough to be heard across the room. They make it to the far wall and he can see the door. Sighing, he looks to them.

“Don’t move too much when we’re in the open, okay?” Ezekiel whispers. He tugs M’s hand to tell her to keep following. Her hand shifts in his as if she’s intending t let go, so he loosens his grip. However, all she does is adjust her hold on his, intertwining their fingers so that he’s not clamping hers together.

They stop just before the last shelf. Ezekiel can practically smell the freedom, but he needs to get them all out. Jenkins warned the team that Cleopatra’s Crusade would be ruthless and would have guns.

“I wouldn’t put it past them to have sabres as well.”

M suddenly yanks him back before he can make it to the door. She shoves the amulet in his hand and he gives her an odd look. “What are you doing?” he hisses.

“Just in case.”

Ezekiel tips his head and tucks the amulet into the inside pocket of his jacket. His hand squeezes hers and he makes his move to the door. The men are circling the desk, rummaging through all the stuff. They exchange words and just as Ezekiel makes it to the door, they look up, likely planning to try somewhere else.

When they lock eyes with Ezekiel, it’s almost as if the gaze is a homing beacon and an alert, because immediately Ezekiel’s body is in flight mode. The men begin shouting and weapons are drawn. He practically wrenches M’s arm off pulling her after him. As soon as he steps into the hallway, M in tow, the hallway shifts. Ezekiel nearly loses his footing, but manages to steady himself. When he looks over for Jungkook, he finds that he and M are also holding hands.

“Don’t know if that’s better,” Ezekiel mutters.

“Where the hell are we?” M demands.

“Magic is real and the Louvre has a lot of magical security. By giving me the amulet, the intention to take the amulet out of the museum has probably kick-started the security system.”

“Please tell me you know how to get out of this,” M whispers.

Jungkook’s eyes are staring at the deep red expanse before them. It’s dusty and humid, red sand swirls around them. However, in the distance, there are outlines of buildings.

Ezekiel tugs out his phone and sighs in relief when he finds he has cell reception. Quickly, he dials Jake’s number. Before Jake answers, Ezekiel hears something like a rumble and then the ground shakes. Over his shoulder, he notes the crumbling of the edge of the sky. Behind it looks something similar to a dark abyss. He’s pretty sure that shouldn’t be happening.

“We need to move,” he says. Ezekiel releases M’s hand and she lets go of Jungkook’s as they start to jog forward.

“Stone?”

“Jones?” Jake’s voice crackles. “I can barely hear you.”

Ezekiel slows, but keeps moving. The other two match his speed. “Better?”

“Sorta!” Jake shouts. “Where are you? Did you get the amulet?”

“I have it in my possession,” Ezekiel agrees.

“So where are you?”

“By having it in my possession, it set off the magical security.”

“That explains that flashing red light, Eve,” Cassandra says.

“So am I going in blind? Can you tell me anything?” Ezekiel asks.

“We don’t really know what we’re dealing with,” Eve chimes in, “but we probably don’t want to find out. For you, though, it should be fine.”

Ezekiel stares at M and Jungkook who are walking up ahead. “I’m not alone.”

“Who the hell is with you?” Jake demands.

“M and her friend.”

“Well, I can tell you that it’s going to be harder to get out because there are three of you,” Cassandra says. “From what I can make out, Jenkins’s tidbit about fairness applies here. The systems are designed to accommodate the amount of thieves. One person, the level of difficulty is sufficient so that one person can get out. That’s how it makes it fair.”

“So it will be three times as hard because there are three of us,” Ezekiel sighs. “Great. And the phone reception is shotty.” The rumbling is stronger and Ezekiel shakes his head in annoyance. “Okay, is there any way you can give me a heads up as to what’s coming?”

“Working on disabling it,” Cassandra says.

“Working on figuring out how it all works,” Jake adds.

“You know that the first level of anything is the easiest,” Eve reassures him. “You’ll be fine.” The reassuring tone is less so with that statement.

“So nothing.” Ezekiel hangs up the phone and tucks it away. “Right, let’s go.”

“If we understood you right, we’re going to have to help you,” M says.

Ezekiel jogs just ahead of her. “Yep.”

“Ezekiel, I don’t—”

“Don’t doubt yourself before we’ve even started the game.”

Jungkook hums. “I mean, I like a good game.”

“We could die,” Ezekiel reminds him.

“Not so different from real life,” Jungkook muses.

Ezekiel glances over his shoulder. The distance between where they’d started and the buildings had initially seemed like miles, but they’re coming up already. He slows down to take it in. They must pass over a sensor, because a marble podium suddenly grows before them.

“I’m gonna hate this magic thing, aren’t I?” M asks.

Ezekiel tips his head. “Probably. Probably more so when I say that this part of magic I’m not really good at.” He takes in the podium. It’s cool to the touch and suddenly two lines start inscribing into the stone to from an arrowhead without the bottom line to connect them.

They stare at it, but nothing else is added. “What does that mean?” Jungkook asks.

Ezekiel looks up at the five buildings around them. The dust clears enough to make out different symbols. The first house on his left has a circle blazing in red. The house in the middle has three horizontal squiggly lines that pulse blue like the ocean. The far house on his right has four vertical purple squiggly lines. On his right, the first house has a triangle in yellow and the last house has a vertical rectangle in green.

“That clarified nothing,” Jungkook states.

Ezekiel sighs. “Whatever this is,” he motions towards the drawing on stone, “is a clue as to how we choose a house.”

“And if we chose wrong?” M asks.

He shrugs. “Death, probably.”

M’s face deadpans. “You should be more terrified when you say that.”

Ezekiel shakes his head, the rumbling of the security collapsing reality behind them terrifying him more than choosing wrong.

“You pick the one that terrifies you less and face it, because imminent death is upon us either way,” Ezekiel says as he faces the podium.

“We don’t know what it means and you said you’re bad at this sort of thing,” M argues.

“Yeah, but…” Ezekiel’s eyes widen, which granted is a bad idea because he gets red dust in his eyes. As he tries to rub it out, he says, “The point of the security system is it’s supposed to be fair. So that means that collectively we should be able to solve this.” He motions for them to look down at the symbol. “Does this mean anything to either of you? In your realms of knowledge.”

“Zeke, we’re museum buffs.” M stares hard at it, as if willing for it to say something to her.

Ezekiel frowns. They stand there and Jungkook watches the darkness rush towards them.

“So are we just going to stand here and watch our demise kill us?” Jungkook quips.

Ezekiel ruffles his hair. “There’s a point to this. And Baird is right, the first level of any game is never difficult. Maybe we’re overthinking it.” He circles the podium, looking at the image at all angles, but not getting any ideas. He looks at M. “Didn’t you tell me that you were doing a science degree when we first met?”

“Yeah. I finished my chemistry major, but I don’t—” M’s dark eyes suddenly light up in excitement and Ezekiel meets her gaze, waiting for some sort of explanation. “Chemistry!” Her attention moves to the symbols on the houses. “What are the odds those are supposed to be elements of some kind? Like fire, earth, air…”

“And water,” Ezekiel agrees.

M nods, pulling her shorter hair up into a half bun. “And water is a bent molecule, oxygen would be linear, earth is made up of a lot of compounds that it would be hard to determine which one is specifically ‘earth’.”

Jungkook waves his hand. “Quicker. Get to the point. We don’t need the science lessons.”

“It has enough symmetry operations too,” M finishes with a small grin.

Ezekiel glances over his shoulder. “Right, we gotta pick now. How sure are you?”

“I mean I’m in a magical security system literally starting at the dark abyss that will kill me while running from some Egyptian organization who wants Cleopatra’s amulet for her treasure. I’m not sure of anything right now.” She grabs both their hands and pulls them after her towards the house in the center. “But I know a water molecule and that has to be a water molecule.”

Jungkook is about to reach for the doorknob, but Ezekiel shakes his head. “You don’t know what’s behind there. I should go first.”

“Based on?” Jungkook challenges.

“Based on the fact that this is my job and I know the risks.” The two give him confused looks and he waves his free hand to get them to stop. “Textbook answer, but whatever. Baird will have my head if I let you go first.” He grips the door handle, looks his companions over and takes a steadying breath. Then he pushes the door open.

The atmosphere immediately changes. It’s easier to breathe and the air is cooler. They’re standing in a clearing; the door that let them in has disappeared. Surrounding them are dark trees and the rumbling quickly starts up again.

“Well death is still following us,” M states. She looks at Ezekiel. “What now?”

Jungkook tugs on M’s hand and leads them towards garden boxes at the center of the clearing. There are four boxes that are growing various small red berries. None of the boxes are labelled, the only noticeable difference being the leaves.

Ezekiel snorts and looks to them. “Still not my expertise, so what do either of you know about berries?”

“Are we supposed to eat them?” M asks Jungkook.

Jungkook leans forward to get a closer look at the plants. “I think that’s the idea. My knowledge of berries is really limited, though.”

“Well I have none,” Ezekiel announces. He turns to M.

M shakes her head. “No idea.”

“Then this is one for you.” Ezekiel reaches over to pat Jungkook on the shoulder. Before he and M can take a seat while Jungkook does inspection, Ezekiel hears another sound. He turns towards the forest surrounding them.

M notices his sudden alertness. “What?”

Ezekiel holds a finger to silence her. The rumbling is constant; it’s almost a droning noise now. There’s a new sound and it sounds like footsteps. His hand rests against the ground like Eve taught him how to do. It takes him a minute to really notice the ground shaking in a steady pattern.

Ezekiel quickly stands. “Stay here. Figure out which ones we gotta eat to get out of here.” He sprints towards the forest edge and grabs two hefty sticks off the ground. Then he sees the eyes.

Yelping, he scrambles back and tosses one branch at M. She fumbles with it, but manages to get two hands on it. “What are we doing? What happened?”

“Wolves, I think,” Ezekiel breathes. Just as he says it, from the forest come seven wolves. Their growling fills the silence of the meadow, just as the edges of the sky start going black.

“Oh bloody hell,” Ezekiel groans. “Jungkook, you’re on a clock.” He stands near the edge of the garden and motions for M to stand on Jungkook’s other side.

“We’re gonna fight wolves?” M cries.

“They’re technically not real. Besides, it’s that or they eat us!” Ezekiel protests. One of them takes a running start at him and he swings the branch in its direction. He grunts at the impact, the wolf being heavier than he expected. Regardless, it sends the wolf a distance away, but not far enough as the others have gained ground.

“Jungkook!’” M whines over the sound of a wolf crying out in pain.

Jungkook waves both of his hands at them to shop/ “I told you my knowledge of berries is limited! Give me a second.”

“Check your phone. Maybe we have wifi,” Ezekiel tells him as he braces himself.

“In a magical security system?” M shouts in disbelief.

Ezekiel snorts. “Magic has weird rules.”

Jungkook digs in his pocket for his phone and almost laughs out loud when he notes the battery life. “Yeah, anyone else got a phone?”

“No time to…” M thwacks a wolf hard in the side. The exertion is wearing her arms out already. “Check.”

“Don’t wanna…” Ezekiel has to quickly adjust to get two wolves one after another. “Die,” he finishes.

“Right, then we’re doing this the old fashioned way,” Jungkook sighs. He leans forward and inspects each garden box. He tries to pick out differences like his father used to when they would go for hikes in various countries. The berries all look pretty similar, though their colours vary in vibrancy. One of them is slightly more transparent than the others. But the most notable difference is the leaves growing around them.

Jungkook tries to block out the sound of fighting on both sides and the feeling of imminent death. When he pricks his finger on one of the leaves, he nods. “Could be holly.”

The box next to it has slender leaves, similar to the foliage of a Christmas tree. “Yew?”

“Can we eat this?” Ezekiel calls as he tries a new tactic of slamming the branch on the top of the wolf’s head.

“No, it’ll give you stomach pains and rashes or something.”

“Let’s just assume that the ones that we can’t eat will kill us. Move on,” Ezekiel tells him, giving another two wolves a whack in one go. He has to pause to catch his breath, but one of the wolves notices him.

“Ezekiel!” M shouts. She sprints across to help him, which gives him enough time to get to his feet.

“Min!” Jungkook calls in panic.

She turns, her battle cry making Ezekiel chuckle despite the situation. She rushes the three wolves on her side, turning her branch horizontal to force them back. They circle back around and run at her.

“Guys, I really don’t think!” she huffs as she rams the three out of the way. “I can do this much longer! Kook, you’re gonna have to hurry it up,” she grunts, “a little!”

Jungkook shouts at both of them to shut up. “I don’t want to die today either! It wasn’t on my list of things to do.”

“I’m sure,” M shouts as she gives one last final effort, “that Taehyung,” she knocks one out of the way, “will miss you if you die.” Ezekiel hears her gasping for breath, but not getting enough time to catch it. “But think about that later!”

Ezekiel glances over his shoulder for a second to catch Jungkook’s ears turning red. That split second gives the wolves enough time to knock him off his feet. He hears M scream from the other side.

“Jungkook!” they both call in panic.

“I got it! I think it’s barberry!” Jungkook exclaims. “The leaves are—”

“No time for science lesson, mate!” Ezekiel informs him as he rams the branch into the wolf’s mouth that is desperately trying to eat his eyes. He wiggles as much as he can to avoid being bit, wincing when one of the others manage to catch skin.

Jungkook hurries over, chewing on one of the berries and drops it into Ezekiel’s mouth. He has to assume that Jungkook did the same for M. The taste is sour and causes his whole face to pucker, as if he’s eating a lemon. His mind goes fuzzy and he worries for a second that Jungkook has just killed him. But just as abruptly as before, the fuzziness changes the scenery.

Ezekiel scrambles to sitting, his hands grabbing at the dirt beneath his palms. He looks around and finds he’s in a cell. Out the cell door, he can see a long corridor, the ground dirt and the walls rock. It reminds him of nearly every temple he’s been in. Ezekiel checks the lock on the door and almost laughs aloud when it’s a lock he’s broken before.

But then he realizes he’s alone. “M? Jungkook?” Ezekiel calls out.

Nothing.

However, his shouting must start the security system again, because the floor shakes more violently than it had before. Ezekiel quickly checks his phone to find he has one bar and an almost dead phone.

“Baird?” he says.

“Jones?”

“Anything?”

“We… it… so… hold… okay?”

“I can’t hear you!” Ezekiel raises his voice as if that will make the connection better. “See you later!”  He puts his phone away, muttering under his breath, “Or not.”

It’s a good thing that he keeps his lock picking set on him at all times. He feels the lock one more time to make sure and makes quick work of unlocking it. He smiles at the satisfying sound.

Ezekiel pushes the door open and nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears the floor he’d just been standing on crumbling. He sprints to the end of the hall, the floor collapsing as he goes. He knows he probably shouldn’t shout, because he’s been in enough temples and pyramids to know that there’s likely something lurking around to kill him; but he has no choice here.

“M! Jungkook!”

Ezekiel calls out repeatedly, turning down different hallways. He maps out as much as he can in his head, even though some of the hallways disappear before he has time to connect the halls together.

Then finally, after what feels like ages, he gets a response to his insane yelling.

“Zeke!”

“M,” he breathes. Ezekiel looks both ways and calls her name again. M’s voice echoes from the end of the hallway he’s in and he books his way over to hopefully buy a few more seconds. If he’s learned anything being a Librarian and a thief, a few seconds means life or death. At the end of the hallway is another cell. However, M is seated on a rock in the center and seems to be cradling her hand in pain.

Ezekiel is about to reach for the doorknob, but she tells him to stop.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t think I can move. The rock zapped me when I put my hand down,” M whimpers.

Ezekiel notes the tears streaming down her face, the fear etching lines into her skin. It’s a distinct reminder of DARPA and Cassandra. He shakes that image away, because it is helpful to absolutely nobody. Ezekiel crouches down in front of the lock. It’s similar to the one that had held Jenkins in. A lock that would keep the smartest person out, but it couldn’t possibly be that easy.

The floor shakes again and it causes M to put her hands down to stabilize herself. She yelps in pain and when Ezekiel looks up, she’s staring down at her hands in horror.

“Hey M, look at me, okay?”

Her dark eyes meet his, bottom lashes lined with tears and her bottom lip quivering.

“Talk to me, M. Just keep talking. Update me on your life when I left.”

M takes a shaky breath, but does as he suggests. M talks about finishing university, about finding new museums to sketch. She tells him about her decision to work in the Louvre rather than take a job the co-op she’d done had offered her.

“They probably paid you more,” Ezekiel mutters as he punches in code after code just for a red box to show up. He can hear the floor sizzling from the electricity he’s pulsing through it.

M sniffles. “Maybe, but it wasn’t about the money. It was about passion. You told me that I appreciated art differently and I never could look back after that.”

Ezekiel chews his bottom lip. “M, do you have a four letter or number password?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Pin number, computer password, anything.”

“My card’s pin has four numbers.”

“Right, what are they?”

“Zeke! I’m not going to—”

“I’m going to guess your birthday.” When he glances up, M’s face is impassive. “Maybe your and Jungkook’s birthdays combined. I’m going to assume days. Now, if we weren’t in a magical security death trap, I would have picked both your wallets to get your licenses so I knew your birthdates. It would have been that easy. Unfortunately, don’t have the luxury or the time. We are literally losing ground here.”

“2-6-0-1.”

Ezekiel carefully touches the screen of the lock and he watches the door swing back. He stops at the threshold and looks around. It was as he expected. “High voltage pressure plates on the floor, so you can’t walk over to me even if I’ve opened the door.” He holds his arms out. “M, you’re gonna have to jump.”

“Zeke, I can’t move.”

“I’m going to trust that you can get to your feet despite a few electric shocks and jump to me. The soles of your shoes should diffuse some of the shock. You just need to stand.”

M frowns at him. “Ezekiel.”

“M, I’m not letting you die in this dumb system just because you won’t woman up and jump over here.”

Ezekiel watches her swallow down her fear. He closes his eyes as she stands just in case her dress flips. When he opens them again, M’s jaw is set as her body takes the electric voltage.

“Running start, okay?” Ezekiel says. “I’ll catch you.”

M jumps off the rock she’d been sitting on. As soon as her weight leaves the pedestal, Ezekiel’s eyes widen as the floor and walls disappear into darkness. Fortunately, M’s eyes closed as she jumped. She clears enough of the room that Ezekiel can pull her towards him, her feet landing on ground instead of falling through. Her grip around his neck and shoulders is constricting, but Ezekiel doesn’t mind.

“Told you I’d catch you,” he murmurs.

“I want to get out of here.”

“I know. So do I.” Ezekiel pulls away and brushes a stray hair out of her face. “We need to find Jungkook first.”

M nods and catches his hand as he turns away. She intertwines their fingers together, her grip nearly cutting off the circulation in his hand. Most of the hallway he’d come down has also disappeared, so he hangs a quick left in the one hallway they can go down. M calls out for Jungkook.

They don’t find him by his voice. They just happen to stumble upon the cage he’s trapped in. Ezekiel quickly realizes why they couldn’t hear him. Jungkook is trapped to the wall, four snakes holding his limbs down, one wrapped nicely across his neck to stop sound.

“Oh my god, Jungkook,” M breathes. “Zeke, what do we do?”

“God, I hate this one,” Ezekiel grumbles.

“Why? What is it? You’ve seen this before?”

Ezekiel sighs. “Well, when I first encountered it—it’s a long story that I don’t have time to tell. Tell a truth.”

“A truth…?”

“Something that holds emotional weight for you.”

M stares up at him with a look of bewilderment on her face. “How will that—?”

“This is my expertise. My expertise as a Librarian,” he sighs, “and a thief.”

One of the snakes slithers off Jungkook’s wrist.

“You’re a thief,” she states. “Like a petty thief. Never mind, you can’t be a petty thief. You walked into the Louvre and got into the basement that requires an ID. You’re a good thief.”

“The best thief,” Ezekiel corrects her. “I’m a Librarian, because I’m the best thief.”

“What kinda library is this?” she mutters.

“A crazy one that puts me in life and death situations all the time. We need truths, let’s go.”

M’s brows furrow. “That’s your only one?”

Ezekiel scratches his forehead. “I am worried about something. So try it first.”

M racks her brain, pulling her hair out of its half bun. “My worst fear is that Jungkook will run off with Taehyung and leave me all alone.” He knows this is one truth she’s never shared with Jungkook, but nothing happens.

Ezekiel shakes his head in annoyance. “It knew it would get me with this one.”

“What?”

“It wants my emotional truths.”

“You must have some.”

“It’s not about that. It’s about not wanting to share them.”

“Oh.” M stares up at him and then her eyes drop to Jungkook. She seems to understand not wanting to share truths. “There are reasons we don’t share our truths, but I…” She meets his eyes again. “We can’t leave him here.”

Ezekiel sighs. “We can’t. I know. And I don’t know any other way to get us in there. We don’t have the means to break the rock around him.”

“I promise I won’t judge you for anything you say,” she says, squeezing her hand. “It’ll stay between us.”

Ezekiel chews his bottom lip. “I tried to distance myself from Cassandra when I learned about her brain grape, because I was too scared to care if I knew I was going to lose her.”

The snake around Jungkook’s leg disappears into the rock.

“I was intimidated by Stone’s intelligence and always felt inferior, so I pushed him away too and tried to be as snarky as possible, because it would piss him off.” Ezekiel clenches his other hand to stop it from shaking, watching as the snake around Jungkook’s throat releases its grip. He hates truths.

Jungkook gasps loudly for air. He blinks rapidly and looks around before seeing them standing there. “What’s going on?”

“Hold on,” M says, watching Ezekiel carefully. “He only has to say two more and you’re home free.”

Jungkook’s brow furrows and Ezekiel notes the dazed look in his eye. “I—” His gaze drops and his hands clench, his back pressing back against the wall. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.”

M rushes forward, pulling Ezekiel with her, and tries to see into the cell. “What’s—?” Both of them notice the large gaping hole, as Jungkook’s room has no floor whatsoever.

“If you release him, he’ll fall!” M rounds on him. “Zeke, do something!”

He’s had a hunch about why it seems like the system is collapsing in on itself. By picking up his phone, he’s really stretching out on a limb, because if he’s wrong they may get stuck in here. His phone battery only 3% left and he’s only got one bar. It only takes him a second to find Cassandra’s number.

“Cass!”

“Ezekiel? It’s hard to hear you!”

“How close are you to disabling the system?”

“Almost there. There are like—”

“I need you to stop. Reset it all. Undo whatever you’re doing.”

“What do you mean?”

Jake’s voice seems to drift from the opposite side of the room. “Jones, you’re not making any sense!”

“Cass, listen to me. Whatever you’re doing is collapsing reality. The system is designed to be fair, but with you tampering it—”

“It’s rewriting the reality, speeding up the process. I told you that would happen!” she shouts at Eve and Jake. Her voice softens as she speaks to him. “I don’t know if I can undo what I’ve done.”

“Can you see where we are?”

“Sort of, not really. I’m sorry, Ezekiel I haven’t had time to work out the maps on here.”

Ezekiel clenches his jaw. “Stop playing around with it. I think I can get us out.”

“Okay, I’m done. You’re on your own. Be safe,” Cassandra says. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

Ezekiel hangs up the phone and just from that call with Cassandra, the rumbling stops. M looks at him. “What did you do?”

“Asked them to stop trying to get us out of here,” Ezekiel answers. He looks up at the ceiling. “The system knows it’s being tampered with so it’s trying to cut back our time since we’re cheating. We’re not cheating now!” he shouts up at the ceiling. “Give us back the floor.”

As if by magic, a slender walkway appears right under Jungkook’s feet to the doorway. It’s just enough space to put one foot in front of the other. Ezekiel tips his head. He would’ve liked the entire floor, but beggars can’t be choosers.

“What did that do?” M asks. “Do we have more time? Are we going to get eaten alive?”

“I think instead of—” He ears the voices coming from his left. “Instead of nothingness sucking us up, we have enemies instead.” Ezekiel stares at Jungkook, who looks as if he’s about to have a panic attack.

“Anything, Zeke, anything.”

“Uhm… I never told my mum about my talent at stealing, because I knew she would take advantage of me and not know how to stop.”

M lifts an eyebrow. Ezekiel really doesn’t want to go into his family anymore than that. The snake around Jungkook’s other leg slithers away. He’s hanging just by his wrist and this worries Ezekiel.

“One more, Zeke.”

Ezekiel waits until Jungkook looks right at him through the small window. “When I say it, you’re going to have to land right on that pathway. This place isn’t going to give you second chances.”

Jungkook nods, his one leg already out, ready to land.

Ezekiel lets go of M’s hand to inspect the lock on the door. “When I stopped visiting, I was being chased by another organization called the Serpent Brotherhood and was taken to the Library. I became a Librarian and that life sort of got in the way.” Ezekiel focuses as much as he can on the lock as he spills the truth. “I pushed you to the back of my mind, because I was scared that if I saw you again that we couldn’t be anything because of what I do.”

The sound of rock rubbing against rock as the snake moves away shifts their attention to Jungkook. Ezekiel is already making quick work of the lock to let Jungkook out. It swings inward, nearly cutting Jungkook off. Ezekiel reaches in for his hand before the guy can topple into the abyss.

“Let’s get the hell out of here,” Ezekiel says as he yanks Jungkook to safety. They start running, because now M and Jungkook seem to be able to hear the voices Ezekiel had heard earlier.

“Where are we going, Zeke?”

Ezekiel is at a loss now. Maps are Cassandra’s thing. He checks his phone and it won’t even light up now. In dismay, he shakes his head and hangs a left. After running aimlessly for what feels like ever, he slows.

“Should we be stopping?” Jungkook asks.

Ezekiel looks both ways. “God, I wish there was a trap door here. Or something that would show the way to the exit.”

“It has to be fair, doesn’t it?” M reminds them.

The two boys look to her.

She shrugs. “You’ve just kept saying that this place is working on fairness. We’ve stopped cheating, so maybe it’s playing fair now. How would it make it fairer for us? We’re being chased and we aren’t sure where the exit is.”

Ezekiel’s eyes widen. “That’s the last trick. Voices.” He hurries back in the direction they’d just come. “We have to move towards the voices.”

“Towards?” the two exclaim.

“We have nothing else to go on. We are just assuming they’re enemies. I mean,” he slows and goes right, “they probably are. But they’ll be blocking the exit.”

“Do you think it’s that easy?” Jungkook asks.

Ezekiel races through the halls, hanging lefts and rights solely going on sound. He doesn’t answer him, because it would be crazy for it to be that easy. Magical safety systems are built to be near impossible to crack. They’ve been lucky with all the easy obstacles they’ve had. And he quickly realizes where the difficulty lies.

Ezekiel holds an arm to stop Jungkook and M from running into the open. “Stop,” he whispers. “There are too many things out there.”

“What things?”

“Don’t know. I only caught a glimpse, but Egyptian gods. Probably has something to do with the amulet.” Ezekiel pats his pocket to make sure it’s still there.

“How are we supposed to fight Egyptian gods?” Jungkook hisses.

Ezekiel shakes his head and peers around the corner again. They’re stomping their spears in rhythm. He knows that they’ll attack to kill, because these aren’t human; though he’s met his fair share of humans who will fight to kill. But just at the end he can see an exit sign similar to the ones in the Louvre. It glows red above a door.

“Can’t fight Egyptian gods, mate. But they’re blocking the exit. We’re going to have to get through them somehow.”

“How?” M asks.

Ezekiel winces. “I have to go out there to know, but once I’m out there, we probably won’t be able to hide anymore.”

M must sense that he’s preparing to step out into the open. She throws her arms around his neck. “No sacrificing yourself, okay?”

“That’s the whole point of this job. The goal is to get all of us out, but last resort is to get you and Jungkook out.” He hugs her tighter to him and then nods. He gives them both a once over before stepping into the room. Stony eyes turn to him; however, they don’t surge towards him like he expected them to. As he nears, they don’t advance, but the rhythmic thumping doesn’t stop nor do their gazes avert.

“They’re stuck to the ground,” Ezekiel calls over his shoulder. “Come on!”

Once M and Jungkook leave the last hallway, it crumbles and they watch the darkness take up the last of the maze behind them. “Can’t go back,” M says as she joins his side.

“We would’ve run out of time. We probably only have a few minutes,” Ezekiel says.

“Sucky pep talk,” M retorts.

Ezekiel hums. “You sound like someone I know.”

“Flirt later. Get us out first,” Jungkook interjects.

Normally a comment like that would require a snarky remark, but Jungkook is right. They have to get out. He takes a step forward and suddenly the statue that looks like Anubis swings at him. It grazes the front of his shirt, slicing it open. He glances down at the hole. “This was my favourite shirt!”

“Worry about that later! He just tried to slice you open!” M exclaims.

Ezekiel touches his chest to find a small line of blood. “Well, least it… it didn’t,” he clears his throat, “pierce that badly.” He clenches his fist to try to get his hand from shaking.

“That’s not something I want to hear,” Jungkook argues. “He barely touched you.”

“It doesn’t hurt.” He hisses as a shock of pain runs through his body. “That much. But that just reminds us that we really can’t mess up here.”

“We weren’t planning on that, but now I’m just too scared to try,” M says.

“I have lived my whole life against that statement. Never be scared to try something once,” he says. “Come on. We’re running.”

“We can’t run,” M protests. “There are two at every step. We’d have to—”

Ezekiel turns to them. “You’re gonna have to trust me one last time. Trust me to know that this is going to be based on luck and a bit of skill in the end. Both of which I have amply supply of.”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” M whimpers.

“You’re gonna have to, M,” Ezekiel says, reaching for her hand.

Jungkook has already started running. He ducks underneath a spear and spins out of the way of another.

“Apparently you’re not the only one with luck and a bit of skill,” M chuckles nervously.

“He’s bold,” Ezekiel comments.

“I’ll tell you about him later,” she promises. “Just get me the hell out of here.”

“Trust me?”

“Have to, don’t I?”

Ezekiel smirks before his face becomes serious again. “Just don’t stop moving. Let go of me if you have to. Watch all your sides and know where they are. They can spin a full 360, so don’t back into something if you know that there’s one there. Got it?”

M nods, taking a shaky breath. “Yes.”

Ezekiel takes a step, but stops and turns back to her. “If it all really goes to shit here and my luck runs out, I’m sorry about disappearing all of a sudden.”

M tries to smile, but he can see the terror in her face. He has to turn away, because he hopes his terror doesn’t translate over as well. With a deep breath, he starts running, pulling her after him. The rhythm starts to feel the same and he can dance around the spears in a steady two-count. He doesn’t look back at M, whose hand he can still feel in his own, because as soon as he loses the two-count, they’ll be goners. Doing this brings memories of Jenkins teaching the Librarians and Guardian how to waltz for a case they did a few months back.

It feels like an eternity and he hears M cry out at least twice. He managed to hold his tongue when he got nicked in the wrist, but couldn’t hold it in when one of the darned things caught his thigh. Ezekiel has to catch his breath and he drags M off to the left where he saw (hoped) was a safe spot.

Ezekiel tugs her in front of him as he crouches in the corner, his back to the spears in case he miscalculated. M brings her knees to her chest and attempts to even her breathing.

“God, I hate magic,” she breathes.

Ezekiel shrugs, smiling down at her as he breathes heavily. “I have a friend who does too. But I also have a friend who loves it. There’s beauty in it.”

“Why are you a thief?” M asks suddenly.

Ezekiel blinks. “Hmm?”

“A thief? Why do it? Steal things that aren’t yours.”

Ezekiel tips his head, not expecting that personal question so soon. “Talk about it later,” he whispers. “Let’s get out of here first.” He holds his hand out to her and she takes it. He helps her stand; keeping her close to him so he doesn’t accidentally get himself killed. “Over my shoulder, what do you see?”

M stretches her neck to peer around him and her eyes widen. “Jungkook!”

When Ezekiel starts to turn, M pulls him to her just as a spear rotates around. “Ezekiel, we have to help him.”

“Can’t really help him if I can’t see.”

“If you turn, it’ll get you,” she cries. “Zeke, what do we do?”

“I hope you’re only like this in death defying situations,” he mutters. “Guide me and I’ll get us to the end.”

“But Jungkook—”

“No man gets left behind,” he promises. “But I need you to help me, M.”

“One second.” M breathes steadily and Ezekiel listens to it evening out, can feel her heart pounding against his chest. He never realized how tiny she was until now. He almost swallows her, hugging her like this.

Ezekiel quickly catches on to her breathing pattern. Inhale, the rock turns, exhale, it turns away. He steadies himself and then she pushes him backward. He ducks under the spear and falls as fast as he can back into the two-count. However, now it’s sped up and M cries out twice before he can adjust to the new pattern.

It takes a few more steps around for him to get M to the door. Back in the maze, Ezekiel can see Jungkook sprawled on his back. Surrounding him are four statues, all in reach of each other. Ezekiel shakes his head in dismay.

M’s jaw drops as Ezekiel bounces on the balls of his feet to propel himself into a flip over the first spear. His foot lands on a shoulder of one of the statues before he drops down and slides underneath another spear. But suddenly, half the room disappears and the dark inches closer to Jungkook’s left foot.

She covers her eyes and crouches into a ball. “Everything will be okay, everything will be okay.”

Two hands on her shoulders causes her to scream and she jumps up. Then she finds herself staring into the blue eyes of the American man she’d met last night. “Hey, hey, hey,” a blonde woman runs past her as a red headed woman stands in the doorway, holding it open, “you’re fine. Everything’s fine. Let’s get you out of here, hmm?”

M doesn’t need to be encouraged any more to run through the door. The red headed woman’s hand falls on her back and gently ushers her out into the basement hallway. M looks around, terrified as to where she’s wound up now. She exhales loudly at the familiar surroundings of the Louvre.

The red head hums. “Don’t relax just yet. Come on. We need to get you guys out of here first.”

“What about Zeke and Jungkook?” M asks.

“They’ve got them.” And M doesn’t want to do anything else but believe her. She lets this woman she’s never met before usher her out of the hallway and she swears she can hear banging somewhere down the hall. When they reach the main floor, which is swarming with people, she breathes a sigh of relief.

“Not quite safe here,” the red head says, looking over her shoulder at the basement door. “One last door…” She leads M towards the men’s bathroom and she isn’t even surprised when she doesn’t walk into the bathroom and instead stumbles into a massive library.

“Magic, right?” M whispers.

“Magic,” the red head confirms. “I’m Cassandra.”

“I need to sit down,” M says in response.

Cassandra nods and leads her to a chair, suddenly noticing the wounds cutting her arms and side. “Oh my god, you’re bleeding.”

M starts to gauge her wounds and then the door glows and everyone else stumbles in, Jungkook curled around the blonde woman’s shoulders. She hurries forward and cups his chin in her hands. “Kook. Kook!”

Jungkook opens one bleary eye. “Fine. Need to lie down.”

“Need to be patched up,” Ezekiel calls as the woman helps Jungkook to a cot that M has to assume the elderly man had brought whenever he appeared. Ezekiel pulls the amulet out of his pocket and tosses it to the elderly man. “For you, Jenkins.”

“I’ll get to work on decoding it so we can get to the headdress.” Jenkins bows to Stone. “Mr. Stone, if you wouldn’t mind assisting me.”

“Sure.” He tips his head to M and then Ezekiel is at her side.

“You need to lie down,” he says.

Her eyes fall on the gash in his chest. “Wait, you—”

“All three of you need to rest,” the blonde woman says, authority dripping in her voice. She guides M to a second cot as Cassandra passes her a first aid kid. “I’m Eve, Ezekiel’s Guardian.”

She finds she can’t sleep. Her eyes keep opening, expecting to stare up at the white of her ceilings and to roll over and see the wall around her window covered in her sketches of various sculptures and humans in motion. Instead, her eyes open to see the large expanse of a Library, which feels as if it’s breathing and smells like books and a bit of chocolate chip cookies.

Slowly, M sits up, her fingers touching the nicks over her skin. They’re sore, but Eve cleaned them and wrapped the worse ones. Next to her, Jungkook’s breaths are even and she’s glad that he can sleep. She’s positive that they gave him something to help him sleep through the pain.

“You okay?”

M peers over her shoulder to see Ezekiel’s eyes open in the dim Library light. One arm is tucked underneath his head and he’s curled into a ball.

“Yeah, just… can’t sleep.”

“It’s a lot to get used to,” Ezekiel admits.

She swings her legs over the bed despite her body’s protests. The blanket they’d given her was actually quite warm, so she picks it up to wrap around her shoulders. “So you left me for this place. I wouldn’t have come back either.”

“I thought you said you hate magic,” Ezekiel points out.

“But I love books,” she chuckles. Facing this way, she can see the shelves of books and can see the doors that lead out into a hallway. It’s probably not too far a stretch to assume the place is bigger than she’s seen.

“I promised to explain to you who I was,” Ezekiel starts to say.

M shakes her head. “I think I have a vague idea and I think that’s good enough.”

“I want you to understand. I feel like it’s something you deserve to know.”

M settles in for a story. She watches how Ezekiel talks, slowly watches his arms disentangle themselves so that they can join in the conversation. He talks about casing museums and never staying anywhere for too long. He talks about the one time he made a mistake and that was the day he was recruited to join the Library. Ezekiel delves into his life in the shadows and explains that he’s here because he’s the best.

“And yeah, my moral code is a work in progress, but I’d like to think I have a heart in here.” Ezekiel meets her eye. “Then there was you.”

She chuckles. “I don’t think it would have taken much to realize you’ve already charmed me, Zeke. I’m not hiding it very hard. You don’t have to keep trying.”

He ignores her. “There was you and I suddenly went into protective mode. I’ve only felt that way for the people in here, but look at where we are.”

“You sure it didn’t have something to do with the life or death situation?” she teases. “The guns?”

“They would’ve chased after me… probably.”

M can’t stop the smirk growing on her face. “My turn?”

Ezekiel’s eyes light up and he brings his blanket up to his chin, as if he were a child waiting for a bedtime story.

“My name is actually Minerva.”

“Minerva?” Ezekiel’s brows furrow together. “Where have I heard that name before?”

“Well, most people know it from Harry Potter.”

“McGonagall!” he exclaims.

M stifles her laugh and shushes him. “Yes, McGonagall. My mum actually named me after the goddess of wisdom and knowledge, though.”

“So why do you shorten it?”

“It’s embarrassing,” M snorts. “I sound like an old lady.”

“Well, you don’t look like an old lady,” he states.

She tilts her head, feigning flattery. “Awe, thanks Zeke.”

“Minerva,” he states, a small smile at her teasing. He repeats her name again and again. It doesn’t make the name any less strange in her mind. Apparently, it doesn’t for Ezekiel either, because he says, “I like M.”

“Yeah, a lot of people don’t know that Minerva is my real name anyway.”

Ezekiel lifts an eyebrow. “But Jungkook knows.”

“I live with him. He was bound to find out. Everyone calls me M, except Jungkook and my parents,” she explains.

M goes into detail about how she met Jungkook. It had been on campus, a year after Ezekiel had stopped showing up. She was taking art as an elective, as she had wanted for years. It just so happened that Jungkook had been taking the same class.

“We somehow wound up talking about the Louvre and wanting to visit. Shocked both of us that neither of us had, because it was so close by. One day during winter break, I was actually surprised that he called me and asked if I was down for a day trip to Paris. We spent hours in the Louvre. And our friendship sort of just developed from there.” She peeks at Jungkook to make sure he’s still breathing. “He was the first person I told that I was being offered a job at the Louvre. And he said he’d come along and help me with rent.”

“And you guys aren’t a thing?” Ezekiel asks. “Because how does anyone who looks like either of you live together and not have something happen?”

“Played around with the idea once when we were drunk.” M brings her legs up onto the cot, hugging her arms and the blanket around her knees. She pushes her glasses up a bit higher on her face. “It was a great night, but we decided that friends was where we liked it. He met Taehyung a month or so after that.”

“Who is…?”

“A barista at a café near our place,” M elaborates. “He’s sweet and when I introduced the two of them, they hit it off instantly. Tae spends weekends at our place, crashing in Jungkook’s room. I don’t ask unless Kook wants to tell and it’s normal. They haven’t admitted anything to me, but it’s obvious.”

Ezekiel hums, an easy smile playing on his lips. She knows she’s eased his mind about her relationship with Jungkook. It still leaves whatever they are up in the air. This is his job. He works for a magical building in a magical world that she isn’t sure if she can tolerate. He lives in…

“Where are we anyway?” she asks.

“Right now? Oregon.”

“As in… Oregon, USA?”

“Oregon, USA,” Ezekiel confirms.

She shakes her head in amazement.

“You get used to it eventually.”

She snorts. “You say that as if I’ll have time to get used to it.”

Ezekiel nods. “Plenty of tiem when you’re seeing me all the time. I exude magic.”

“Do you?”

“I’ll show you.” He swings his legs onto the floor. The cots are so close together that she can feel his body heat. Ezekiel tugs a coin out of his back pocket and presents it to her in his left hand. M can’t help but roll her eyes, but she watches regardless. The coin disappears and suddenly reappears behind her ear. “See? Magic.” He flips the coin before handing it over to her.

M rotates the coin between her fingers. “Do you do… real magic?”

Ezekiel shakes his head. “We leave that stuff to Cassandra. I know the basics, tamper with it a bit.” He gets to his feet, his blanket around his shoulders like a cape. “Come on, I’ll actually show you.”

“Show me what?” M follows him, her own blanket cape on. He waits for her by the door before falling in step with her. Their footsteps echo down the corridor and they hang a right before stepping out at the top of a small staircase. She can feel the expanse before her eyes really register it. She stares down a seemingly endless aisle, shelves of books on either side. There are beautiful pieces in open cases on either side at the bottom of the stairs.

“You aren’t tempted to steal any of it?” she suddenly asks.

Ezekiel doesn’t seem surprised or offended at her question. “Not gonna let that thief thing go, huh?”

He trails after her as she inspects the Arc of the Covenant up close. She doesn’t tare touch it, too scared that it will kill her or transport her to a different dimension or something her mind can’t even fathom.

“To be honest, no. Sometimes Baird will lock up the artefacts in new government style cases or magical ones if Jenkins comes up with something new, but it’s mostly just to keep me agile. They haven’t beat me yet.” She glances over her shoulder and can’t help but smile along with him. “They’re better here than out there, causing havoc.”

“Wow.” She smiles at him, admiring the tone in his voice and the way he holds himself. “I have to say, this version of you is… is much more enticing than the version of you I first met.” M turns away to look at the other artefacts. She can feel the energy they give off; so different from anything else she’s ever encountered. The closest she’s ever felt like this was standing in front of the Mona Lisa.

They wander the stacks until she starts to feel drowsy. Ezekiel leads her back to the Annex, as he calls it. He climbs onto his cot and offers a spot for her next to him. “It gets cold in here in the morning.”

M laughs. “Now you’re just trying too hard.”

Ezekiel grins and waves her over. She rolls her eyes with a grin, climbing in next to him. She inhales sharply, surprised at how… Ezekiel he smells.

“Right, this isn’t going to be very comfortable if you’re not going to just settle here,” Ezekiel whispers. His breath smells slightly of tea and she wonders when in the world Ezekiel started drinking tea. But then as her body slides into the dip of the cot, pressed against him, her forehead against his chest, she notes the pizza stain on his shirt and that reminds her that he’s still Zeke.

“Zeke,” she murmurs. He hums drowsily, his arm resting comfortably in the dip of her side. “Don’t promise me things you can’t give me, okay?”

“What?”

“Just… don’t.”

The next morning, she wakes to a bell chime and Ezekiel is already moving. She tips her head up and sees his other arm dangling off the cot, his phone in hand. “What’s wrong?”

“Case in Hakone, Japan.”

M can’t help but scoff at the idea. “Right. Your job as…”

“A Librarian,” he states.

“Librarian,” she snorts.

“Job doesn’t wait.” He slowly pushes himself up. He looks down at her, his hair mussed from sleep.

It seems too intimate that she has to look away. “I’ll take Kook home before your team sees us like this,” she chuckles. Ezekiel helps her sit up, his hand falling to her side so that he can support her. Then she stands, her bones cracking because the cot was uncomfortable as hell. She waddles over to Jungkook and smacks his arm to wake him.

“Kook, get up. We’re going home.”

Jungkook’s eyes are full of sleep when he looks back at her. She rolls her eyes and moves in front of him. “Let’s go home. You can sleep in your own bed. I’ll even call Taehyung over to nurse you back to health.”

“Don’t you dare,” Jungkook breathes.

“Because?”

“Because you know I’ll accidentally say I love him and it’ll be awkward,” he mutters.

“Precisely. Come on.” She urges him up and even though she hardly reaches his shoulder, she can hold his weight around his waist. Ezekiel stands by the door she thinks they stumbled through yesterday, his hand on an ancient looking globe with a magnifying glass attached.

“That’s it?” she asks.

“More magic than science,” Ezekiel answers.

M chuckles and watches him spin the globe. He pulls one door open and she can already see into her apartment. “Hmm, this part of magic I don’t mind.” She smiles at him. “Goodbye, Zeke.” She starts to walk through the door, but he catches her arm.

“You said not to promise you things I can’t give,” Ezekiel states.

M nods, staring at the Annex over his shoulder. “You can’t give this up and I wouldn’t want you to. Besides, we were both happy where we were, Zeke. Let’s just—”

Ezekiel cuts her off, his lips pressing gently against her own. His hand is soft against her cheek, though she can feel callouses in his palm.

“Guys,” Jungkook groans. “Say goodbye later.”

Ezekiel chuckles and brushes his thumb over her cheek. “I’m not promising anything, but I’ll see you when I’m back from Japan.”

M rolls her eyes with a smile. “Save the world first.”

[cofiandme]

Her Heart (#1)

I am Hiro, 21 years old and I have a girlfriend named Hanna. We've been together for almost two years. We've met in Senior High, became friends, I courted her and after almost a year, she became my girlfriend.

Our relationship is... is so perfect. It is the type of relationship everyone dreamed of having. As in sobrang perpekto. Minsan, napapaisip nalang ako na parang may mali. Na parang ang perpekto naman para maging totoo. Kasi unlike sa normal relationship, mabibilang mo lang sa daliri mo sa kamay ang mga oras na nag-away kami– maliit man o malaki.

You wanna know why?

Kasi may sakit si Hanna. Hindi normal yung puso n'ya. May mga panahon na sobrang bagal nito tumibok, me'ron din namang sobrang bilis akala mo'y aatakihin na s'ya. All of the people that knew about us says "Please, don't break her heart", "'Wag na 'wag mo s'yang iiwan. Alam mo naman ang sitwasyon ng puso n'ya."

I am very careful of my actions. Yung tipong ilang beses ko munang pag-iisipan bago ko gawin ang isang aksyon. Kahit sa pinakamaliliit na desisyon. Kasi alam ko na kahit anong gawin ko, maaapektuhan s'ya– maaapektuhan yung puso n'ya. No'ng nagdecide ako kung saan at ano ang kukuhanin ko sa college, I followed what she wants. Noong una, nakapag-exam na ako sa isang university na pinapangarap ko. And luckily, I passed. Pero, one time, when I am about to say it to her, she suddenly blurted out na gusto n'ya, magkasama pa rin kami sa isang university. Don't get me wrong, gano'n din naman ang gusto ko. Pero yung gusto kong ku'nin ay wala sa university na pinag-examan n'ya. I am left with no choice. I take up Engineering instead of taking medicine. Ang nasa isip ko no'n, makapag-aaral pa naman ako pagkatapos nito. May oras pa. So, yea, hanggang college, magkasama kami. She is taking up Arts and Design while I take Engineering.

I always thought that is fine. I am the man in our relationship. I should love her more than she loves me. That's what everyone says. Men should love more. And I love her so much. I love her to the point that I can give up everything on my mind just to please her. Just to make her stay.

At this point, you may think of me as an imprisoned man. That I am imprisoned in our realtionship. That I am tied up. I cannot blame you. But please, I am not. It is me that made decisions. Not her. Please, don't think of her as a manipulative woman. She is not. She is so kind. She has the purest heart.

Out relationship goes on and on so smoothly as ever. Until one day on my second year in engineering. I met this girl named Ashley. If Hanna is the purest, Ashley is the bubbliest. Ashley is my blockmate on my 2nd year. She is so good in class. When somebody ask why she is so good, she simply answered, "Because this is what I want." And that struck me. I always wonder why I can't cope up with the lessons. And she answered it in a very clear way. Because this is not what I want.

We became friends. I ask for her assistance on class. We get along well. And this, this is wrong. Because I shouldn't befriend a girl. Hanna might think something wrong about me being close with a girl. After realizing that, I distanced myself from Ashley. Because whenever I'm with her, I feel like I'm cheating on Hanna. And that is wrong. So I ended our friendship silently.

Hindi tulad dati na nagnanatili pa ako sa room pagkatapos ng klase, umaalis na ako agad. Sa tuwing may gala sa labas ang block, hindi na ako sumasama. Sa tuwing nahihirapan ako, hinahayaan ko nalang. But it was not easy. Because slowly, Ashley take a part of me when I distance myself. Unconsciously, I always find myself staring at Ashley while she's having fun, when she ties her hair into a bun whenever where in a middle of doing activities, when she crinckles her nose whenever she messes up even those times that she ducks her head to sleep–I am watching her, unconsciously.

I am open for criticisms (constructive) and corrections — let's help everyone grow.

[zippityzap]

Announcement: Closing Requests (and why)

I have made the difficult decision to close requests. Permanently.

No one person is to blame for this, but after a bunch of incidents I just can't take it anymore.

I have stated clearly, time and time and time again that I don't draw fetish art. Never have, never will. But the messages keep coming.

And then are people who forget that I'm human, forget that I'm doing this with my own time. I have other stuff going on, I'm in my final year of secondary school/high school. I've got exams. Coursework. Projects.

I'm stressed beyond high hell.

When I decided to start offering free requests all that time ago, it was with the intention to improve my art and give a little something back to the fandom. But now I see that kindness has been taken advantage of.

So what now?

Well, if you do want art from me there are still a few options.

I offer commissions, at a price that's not too expensive I think. My commission sheet including prices, rules and other info can be found in my bio.

I'm also still up for art trades if any of my fellow artists would like to do that.

I'm also willing to help you design your sonic oc, give you advice, maybe even sketch a few things for you.

I might open requests temporarily in the future if I get really bad art block. But there'll be some strict guidelines on what can and cannot be requested.

Oh, by the way, to anyone whom I've currently agreed to do a request for/ help out with something, I'll still do it, but after that no more.

I hope you guys understand. The situation has just become too uncomfortable for me and I need to look out for my own mental wellbeing.