#blaseball personal tag

[ninthprime]

list of players who should fall onto the houston spies during fall ball (according to me)

rigby friedrich: i'm very amused by this "sporgias phenomenon" we're seeing, where two of our three falls so far have been former georgias. so i'd like to propose rigby, a player whose primary espionage skill is "oh fuck he's approaching me, oh god, oh fuck"

kaz fiasco: during the late expansion era some of the spies joked that it was inevitable we would someday receive kaz, as his pgr is "spying." perhaps now is the time.

sexton wheeler and/or mcdowell mason: look, i love sad horse man and the sasquatch captain as much as anyone, but can you imagine them learning spy skills? hysterical. i would like to see at least one of them, preferably both, in trenchcoats

phineas wormthrice: i need to see phinny interacting with nanci grackle's muppets. more importantly, it would be funny.

peanut bong: it would be funny.

lowe forbes: this might be even funnier

sutton bishop: also extremely funny

jessica telephone: though somewhat controversial, here's my reasoning: it would be, in the end, pretty funny

niq nyong'o: this one's just inevitable- now that nanci's on the team the sim is obviously going to curse niq with having to put up with hir again. the sporgias phenomenon continues. also, i like her.

mohammed picklestein: this one's cheating because mohammed was already a spies player, but 1. they're one of my favorites and 2. can you imagine noted blaseball safety expert mohammed picklestein on the same team as notoriously unethical nanci grackle?

at least one other blaseball scientist: niq and mo are the scientists i'd like the most, but really i just need at least 3 or 4 scientists/inventors/etc on this team. unfortunately the sim has already taken haruta byrd and mooney doctor from me as options but we've got a lot more. how about zion aliciakeyes? pedro davids? felix garbage? mint shupe? mullen peterson? maybe jomgy rolsenthal moves back to houston? maybe eve mcblase moves back?? whatever makes the vibes a little funky around here.

knight triumphant: last time knight was a spy they saw multiple people die and seemingly got cursed to wander the league. this time, they're going to have to put up with nanci grackle. and frankly: it's what they deserve

harriet gildehaus: i rest my case

isaac johnson: spies unionize! that's my argument. that and we need someone with defense on this team please i'm begging

tad seeth: i believe the spies always need a "spynosaurus" present somewhere on our roster

axel cardenas: imagine you were one of the worst blaseball players ever. and you've been jumping between the shadows of various teams. and you decide the best way to get a fresh start is to get onto the same team as your daughter and your younger siblings. and then you get to houston, and none of them are there, and the stadium is filled with necromanced muppets, and now you gotta learn how to read ciphers. hideous. anyway i love this guy and i'd like to see him

richmond harrison: i think richmond should be on every team, to improve the vibes of the league as a whole

commissioner vapor: this is a spy we just had again but one of the very first things i saw someone say when fall ball was announced was "it's just gonna wimdy us CV again." and frankly? yeah, probably

various other players i don't really have an argument for but it would be fun: ok here's a shortlist: miguel james. wyatt pothos. rafael davids. guy gulp. jaxon buckley. jayden wright. ronan jaylee. gerund pantheocide. mindy salad. coolname galvanic. nagomi nava. beck whitney. thomas dracaena. sandford garner. literally any crab. "crop, are you just listing random players you like now?" look if i keep listing them i'll predict at least one correctly, that's how blaseball works,

[waveridden]

i've long held a fascination with blaseball gamma 1 (the test circuit that was revealed on the website after it had finished running) because there's a whole lot about it that doesn't add up. if you compare the rosters in the last available gamelogs for teams to the rosters on the websites they don't match up - and i don't just mean "oh the static charges" i mean there are new players and reverbs that have happened that aren't recorded. it is a weird, messy circuit that we didn't get to see, and i care for it quite dearly.

(personally i've long held the theory that there was a third season of this circuit that we didn't get to see that led to additional weather and another round of charges. this is beside the point but i think if they ever do another IAB y'all should help me flood the question box asking about this. i want to know.)

one thing you Can see when looking at gamma 1 teams is that several of them have four pitchers. this is, obviously, not how blaseball works; teams should have five pitchers. some of them were charged, and we know some of these from feed messages. some of them are just missing.

i found some of them tonight.

i've been working on recreating the election results from gamma 1, season 1, and through that i've found three pitchers that i'm not sure people know about. i don't have their stats info, i don't have their performance records. but i found three players who were missing. those players are:

pedro greatlakes, miami dale

jamaal hardison, baltimore crabs

manuela byron, new york millennials

there are, per my best count, three teams with pitchers that are still missing from the record (firefighters, sunbeams, lift) and because of the quality of pitcher feed events i'm not sure they'll ever be found. and maybe this is actually old news and i'm out of touch. and maybe (definitely) i'm a bit of a sap. but i wanted to publish those names. because blaseball is over and gone, and this was a dead circuit in a dead world in a dead game. but there are still new things to find.

[paladinbaby]

first tarot commission! hewitt best once of the kansas city breath mints for @waveridden. this was so so much fun

[Image Description: The tarot card the knight of wands with Hewitt best (he/they) as he central figure. The card is styled like a baseball card with knight of wands written at the bottom and the breath mints logo. Hewitt is a solemn looking Filipino man on a large gold horse holding up a baseball bat with one arm. He has black hair with green streaks at the front and wears a striped shirt, green trousers and white hi tops. Parts of him are turning to gold, including the entire hand that holds the baseball bat, larger patches around his eyes and two gold tears running down his face. There’s a street in the background with spaced out townhouses. There’s a bench in front of one of them with two golden figures sitting on it. End ID.]

[majestic-salad]

🐀❤️🦐🍫

Hope u didn’t think I’d forgotten about them :)

[elifinchsart]

spaceship brought to life by fusing with a former crew member during space horrors mike / crab alien tillman that gets rescued by her au* (i watched event horizon went "actually it would be cool if an evil living spaceship was your gf") mike *is* the ship but he also has different robot bodies. this au starts more as a horror and then becomes portal and then is more of a romcom (the last picture is their first meeting) *au in the sense of taking my characterizations of them and doing my own story- theres a few other blaseball characters i might nab as well but most of them wont be there and its not following the storyline of blaseball at all

[blaseballbrainrot]

(End of the World - A Great Big World)

Do you ever see a song with such overwhelming Parker and Megan vibes that you forget it was released 5 years before blaseball started

[caligulalotus]

i am volatile. violated. my body was not always my own // the boston garden loves you: a playlist

a playlist about the boston garden, and how it loves its flowers

track list below the cut

that unwanted animal-the amazing devil

“oh, and you rip my ribcage open/and devour what's truly yours/and our screaming joins in unison/i cry out to the lord/'cause if we join our hands in prayer enough/to god, i imagine it all starts to sound like applause”

the spine song-cake bake betty

“and when i have died, will you use my spine/to swing from tree to tree in search of places pleasing to the eye?“

call me pretty-elliotly

“call me yours, i’ll call you mine/tracing flowers down my spine/make me a god/you’re fanged and clawed“

fight for me-aliceband

“i’ll make you cry for me and lie for me/and bleed for me and die for me/but most i'll make you right for me/i'm sure i'm right for you/i'll cover up your eyes and make you work/i'll rob you of your soul and make it worse“

all or nothing-the dream masons

“i’d sooner give it all away than only just give half of me/it’s all or nothing/either i’m worth it or i’m not.”

evelyn-kim tillman, silent films

“and i've seen decay/give way to growth/and make the most of nearly nothing“

i wanna be adored-remastered-the stone roses

“i don't need to sell my soul/he's already in me/i wanna be adored“

body terror song-ajj

“i'm very sorry that you have to have a body/one that will hurt you, and be the subject of so much of your fear/it will betray you, be used against you, then it'll fail on you my dear“

bloody nose-jack conte

“left you there for rot/all my fears are overgrown/will someone burn this grove?”

the horror of our love-ludo

“i want you stuffed into my mouth/hold you down and tear you open/live inside you/love, I'd never hurt you/but I'll grind against your bones until our marrows mix/i will eat you slowly”

strangler fig-the crane wives

“climb me, climb me to the canopy/higher, higher 'til there's nothing left of me/tell me/tell me what you see/desire, desire 'til there's nothing left of me, oh/you’re the culprit/so don't blame me/when I'm gone and you have naught/when you're hollowed out and empty”

envy green-the arcadian wild

“envy green, growin' ivy vines that hold me/up they go, past the collar bones and freckles on my nose/higher, higher 'til the words I tell myself are covered/envy green”

black rose-eliza rickman

“pray, baby, pray/over our sins/and oh, we'll grow our own/don’t let him know/don’t let it show/you reap what you sow/take this black rose”

back to the ground-the crane wives

“little buds make their graves as the warmth inside us fade/but I still don't know shit about letting go/so I know you're not the one/use me up and when you're done/just give me back, give me back to the ground”

big god-florence + the machine

“you need a big god/big enough to fill you up/shower your affection, let it rain on me/pull down the mountain, drag your cities to the sea/shower your affection, let it rain on me/don’t leave me on this white cliff/let it slide down to the, slide down to the sea”

[whales-are-gay]

so. all of my blaseball knowledge comes exclusively through the internet osmosis of following you, and after seeing a lot of firewalker with me friday posts, i decided to listen to the song today. it is so good omg. something about it is speaking to me,,,,,

yippee

[bread--quest]

ok i gotta go brush my teeth but first apropos of nothing i just want to say that like. personally i'm still full of love for blaseball and fics i want to write about blaseball. and based on my past track record (wrote steven universe fic for like 3 years after it ended) (wrote homestuck fic for also like 3 years after finishing homestuck, maybe more) (gonna finish this night vale fanfic i've been writing for 3 years someday so help me god) i think i could keep writing about blaseball for a very long time. but . but. the strength of one fan alone cannot keep a fandom alive. listen to me. i am taking your face gently in my hands if you are okay with that. if you want blaseball fandom to stay alive you have to go in the blaseball tag and reblog stuff. if you want there to keep being blaseball fics you have to go check ao3 and comment on what's there. possibly even add some yourself. with our powers combined i can believe we can drag out blaseball's existence to the same comical/tragic extent we dragged out jessica telephone's. obviously nothing will last forever but i think we can still make it last a little longer. if we want it.

[callibones]

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!!

hello to the beautiful people of the internet. my name is Callie Callibones! i make Post's about blaseball and Being a robot and Being a computer (different) and Wario and Blaseball and mutuals do this to me. sometimes these posts can b "Suggestive," so watch out for that! but they're usually not and i have like two other blogs for when they Really are.

i stream at twitch.tv/callibones! sporadically.

i also do post selfie's sometime's. like (almost) every tuesday! this is because i am Extremely transgender and it is fun for me when people like my selfies. BUT! i am utterly impossible to fluster don't check. Don't check

i make Art some times. a lot of it is at @callibones-art! one of my biggest Art was constitution, an object character i made for the beautiful Camp GNC. its whole doc is available here, and i loooove answering questions about it and my other Handful of Transgender OCs! i don't know if i have any cis ones. except dr clock

i love polls so much that i put one right here in my pinned post.

oh speaking of! i'm running a mutuals do this to me tournament. the url is @mutualsdothistome and it's a tournament of terrible horrible no-good very bad fates that also should definitely happen to you if mutuals are doing them. you can submit entries to it here!

blease feel free to pull up an anon ask and say howdy if youre scared of me. i LOVE the haters.

my tags are:

#callie.txt.exe - my original posts, like this one! #callie.png.vbs - my selfies. if u browse this tag u HAVE to call me pretty. whether u believe it or not. or else theyll dry up and nobody will be able to see me anymore #mutuals tournament - stuff related 2 the mutuals tournament #anon.zip.pif - asks i receive that people send to try to make me blush. because people do that some times. u still cant fluster me though its impossible still dont check #polls - u will never guess what this one is for. #fav - the best posts #fav fav fav - the bestestest posts #all time fav - the all time best posts #final fav - the best post, singular #gender - the gender posts #gender gender gender - the genderenderender posts #genders of all time - the all time gender posts #final gender - the gender post

[orbleglorb]

I would love to hear the aro essay if you want to write it actually

okay so i KNOW what post you're referencing but i cannot fucking find it. but it's about grollis and qais's qpp. btw you want to read the last best dream by waveridden so bad (although this deviates from that somewhat, it's what got me thinking about them)

the exact post was something along the lines of, "aro ppl can write aro characters in relationships but if an allo person wants to do that they need an essay explaining why." and i added tags along the lines of "i could write this essay about grollis and qais, even tho it's not really romantic." which is funny because i've realized now that i'm probably arospec. but anyway. then i got this ask and went "wow! i should do that" and then couldn't find the time and energy to dedicate to it. but today my body is forbidding me from doing anything that isn't laying in bed and thinking about blorbos so here we go.

grollis was formerly in a qpp with yusef fenestrate and a friend group (brokyo) with yusef, coolname galvanic, val hitherto, and gerund pantheocide. ze naturally grew apart from them, especially when they got shadowed in season 20, and fell into a weird in-between state where ze didn't definitively know where ze stood with anything or anyone. blaseball is going up in flames, hyr personal relationships are full of ambiguity, and it doesn't seem like anyone in the world has a clue what's going to happen next. grol has never handled not knowing things very well. ze's not really good at going with the flow, but ze has literally no other choice now.

qais dogwalker is the captain of the miami dale and, like, the party guy. im convinced they've never made a plan for anything. it's a good temperament to have with blaseball. after the death of their partner jenna, qais sort of lost interest in dating. they're arospec and feel romantic attraction very, very rarely. and, despite feeling aromantic attraction more frequently, they never really got over the whole watching-their-girlfriend-die-in-front-of-them thing. they're not afraid of being open or forming relationships, and have tons of friends and acquaintances, but in the back of their mind, becoming "a thing" with someone leads them into a disaster zone. one of them will die. it's happened with a ton of the big blaseball couples: allison and kichiro, tillman and declan, caligula lotus and beck whitney (that one they got to witness first hand, with cali dying the day after the dale got beck in the feedback). it seems like every other week, the tabloids are reporting on how so and so has died or been alternated or feedbacked to a different team and how it's affecting their relationship with their friend/partner/whatever. subconsciously (and somewhat consciously), qais has a superstition that once The Universe is aware that you have someone you really like, romantically or not, one of you is going to die. and, again, qais has a ton of close friends. but they're all, like, the same level of close. qais doesn't have a best friend. and it's not like they're particularly upset about any of this, but sometimes it hits them that it would be super cool to have a special someone(TM).

so grollis is in a state of trying very desperately to fight against the current, so to speak, when ze meets qais. well, ze has technically met qais plenty of times when they were playing games against each other. but back then, qais was like... a celebrity. and technically grollis is too, but ze doesn't think of it like that. the lift's fans don't even like grollis. qais seems to be universally liked. loved, even. qais talks to people easily, doesn't ever seem to get nervous, and is comfortable with being the center of attention or on the sidelines. qais has a smile that stretches ear to ear and laughs easily. qais loves being at big loud parties and acts like socializing is the easiest thing ever. grollis set foot on the party yacht once and left about ten minutes in, and that was one of the sensory friendly parties. grollis doesn't really hang out with the dale, mostly because ze doesn't care too much for a team centered on partying, but also because there's not many places to meet them that aren't a game or overstimulating. qais remembers grollis as a pitcher for the lift, and... that's pretty much it. they could recognize grollis, but they never spoke. until...

neither of them really remember why or how they started talking; they just kind of did. but, it was during season 21 party time (hosted by the seattle garages). grollis had just gotten out of the shadows and was feeling more disconnected from hyr friends than ever. qais, however, had a very uneventful* season and was pretty damn bored. qais noticed grollis's patchwork coat and came up to hyr to ask where they got it. grollis reponded by telling them ze made it, and they got into a conversation about making clothes, then fashion, then so on and so forth. eventually, one of them had to leave, and grollis had enough courage to ask for their phone number. they began hanging out fairly often, and grollis became well-known amongst the dale. conversely, grollis didn't really introduce qais to any of hyr teammates, and many of them didn't know much about qais, or that they were even friends until much later. but engine eberhardt, the one person grollis still felt somewhat close to, mostly because she refused to let them "sulk in solitude," got to know qais. as did val, who ran the beef wings stand qais frequented.

both of them share common interests in fashion, detective media, urban exploration, "bad" movies and books, movies and tv shows in general, and trying new foods.

now. this is all well and good. but what do they gain from being in a qpp? what does it add narratively? well.

first off, qais has to come face to face with that subconscious-ish superstition. although they know jenna's death affected them, they didn't realize how much it still influenced their everyday decisions. because of their (aromantic) (i cannot stess the nature of this relationship enough) (there's a capital D Difference between romantic attraction and aromantic attraction. no i don't know how it works) attraction to grollis, qais has to decide whether or not they're going to let that superstition continue to inform how they make relationships. here's someone that would love to be their Special Someone(TM), but they have to get over the fear that something bad will happen. and that fear takes the form of, like, beginning to ghost grollis a little -- not enough that it's obvious, but there's that danger of becoming too close, and then The Universe hears and strikes you dead. so qais takes longer to respond, or sometimes just doesn't. but with the help of the lazarus pit and supportive teammates, they get to process All Of That more and get back to normal with grollis.

secondly, grollis strikes me as the type of person who wants a special someone. whereas qais would be totally okay being single forever, grollis wants to have someone that's hyr go-to. ze like having someone to cuddle and kiss and talk about movies with. although ze don't want romance, per se, ze wants a partner. and! having a partner that's not only able to go with the flow, but able to do so excitedly, really helps grollis feel more comfortable not always having a plan, or knowing how ze feels.

however. grollis and qais cannot live together. they tried around season ß1 and just couldn't. grollis needs a home to be a private place of refuge, while qais needs a home to be a community center for all of their loved ones that's open any time they need. that's just inherently not compatible. so they live apart and see each other often.

*i assume it was an uneventful season. i can't find much on the blb wiki that suggests otherwise

i got really tired towards the end of this so i im posting and hoping it makes enough sense

[ninthprime]

my friends, it is alexandria rosales’ last week on the blaseball hall of fame ballot and it is my solemn duty as a spies fan to bring you the evidence for why they should be inducted. alex is a spies icon, but they have done much more than be on our team since day 1. here are some of alex's hall of fame worthy accomplishments:

alex has the 7th highest pitching WhAT ever. this is higher than a bunch of players who have already deservedly made it in, like theodore cervantes and jolene willowtree.

alex has the 10th most pitching wins at 260.

alex has the 7th most quality pitching starts at 251.

alex has an overall ERA of 3.32 but their peaks were incredible, with a 2.0 in season 21 and a 1.98 in season 8, where they had the best ERA in the league. notice how those are two very different times in blaseball!

but alex is not just good at pitching. in season 24, teamwide scattering activated their undefined mod. in that season alex had a BA of 0.432, the second-best one-season BA in blaseball history following only dudley mueller's season 11. this is better than both jaxon buckley and conner haley's best seasons.

in season 24 alex also had the highest one-season OB/SLG ever at 1.439.

frankly these accomplishments make alex extremely qualified for the hall. however, i know what you people on blaseball tumblr also enjoy: lore. here are some bits of alex rosales lore:

sword lesbian. the sword is a cursed family heirloom. it killed some union busters once

they used to do roller derby! then almost everyone they did it with died or was shadowed. however they did it!

the spies do not have captains but alex might as well be one. a true houston icon.

has a long romantic history with a wide variety of beloved players. they had a rivalmance with jessica telephone. they had a fraught could-have-been with donia bailey. they nearly dated avila guzman. they could have dated siobhan chark but unfortunately they had given up at romance at that point

anyway they threw that cursed sword at the coin! sick!!

there are a lot of great players on the hall ballot this week and i encourage you to fill up your ten votes. gabriel griffith! lars taylor! mags banananana! but i also advise you....make one of your votes alexandria rosales

[waveridden]

i'm on the record as having a weird and not completely positive relationship with the blaseball wiki but the year long siesta has put one thing in perspective which is that i support the wiki because i should not have to join any discord servers to know what fanon lore is

[getallemeralds]

Colorado Clones Crash Course (...ish)

hey does anybody remember that one time on halloween when blaseball was trying to launch the first proper Short Circuit and instead the site blew up and did some weird junk to the teams

so uh. they accidentally deployed a brand-new, never-before-seen team during that: the Colorado Clones!

...and there were two of them!

there was a VERY brief period of time where they were level 2 fk and so there was a tiny bit of hushed discussion behind spoiler tags, but then the maincord rules got updated soon after (and... might've been in response to that?) so they got locked behind the insurmountable wall of level 3 "Do Not Talk About This" fk.

BUT BLASEBALL IS OVER. IT IS TIME FOR CLONES

(specifically it is time for me to talk about the version of the Clones me and my friends lorejammed because, what, do you expect me to look at a team called the colorado clones and Not immediately get attached and spin together some wild lore?)

so, hey: what if the shadows with normal names and pregame rituals were the people that made the numbered clones? what if they used to work for the ILB and were responsible for the creation of the Parkers and maybe a certain other event that didn't go as planned? what if i forgot what else was in this paragraph originally because tumblr ate it

behold my blorbo Sondra Friendo, aka Dr. F! pregame ritual "praying for death" in the "auaughghhhh i can't believe this, i hate this, i'm tired and stressed and wish i was dead so i didn't have to deal with this bs" exaggeration way. one of the leads of Facility 1F (Gamma 3), which focuses on Weird Science in contrast to Facility 3B (Gamma 2)'s focus on Weird Magic.

(incidentally, 3B's pgrs are all ominous stuff like warding off demons, locking the cellar, opening up the pit... and dancing????)

she is relentlessly bullied by her teammate Kyler Light, a clone that decided to gain free will and a personality. they might also be kissing? the clones are all weird blank slates with the origin of whoever they're clones of being completely lost, so Kyler breaks the mold with a cool name, outfit, and retreating to the shadows. (and it was designed by @.elemom!)

mostly Dr. F is grumpy and desperately wishes she was a girlboss instead of a girlfailure.

as for what the Clones might've actually been about... i mean, this is just speculation on our part, but hey, there sure was. whatever the heck this unsolved mystery is:

i'm sure the fact that there was a Level 3 FK team called the Colorado Clones has nothing to do with the multiple Davenports.

[spacetrashpile]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love 💞

tagged in this by @leonstamatis

favorite is such a strong word but.... i'll go for it! trying to avoid recency bias on this one

stop me if you've heard this all before - an empires smp au in which s2 sausage finds the remains of the prison dimension his other half was trapped in, which still contains one of his old friends. i promise chapter two WILL be coming when school stops beating me into the ground.

bring out all the ghosts to life - blaseball/hermitcraft&evos au where pearl, jimmy, and netty are precog trio. this one is also not finished but it WILL BE because i literally have another chapter done already and also i care about these three so much. it will just take awhile because of the aforementioned school beating me to the ground.

the heart knows nothing of your love or of your loss - written in the aftermath of moses mason's incineration just over three years ago now (happy late anniversary!) about lenny spruce and grief and anger. man i love lenny spruce i should finish that draft i have about her.

it's not something that you put to bed - apart of my three part crossover between my friends and i's personal server, perpetuity smp, and secret life. frankly i could've gone for any of the fics in this series but this one is about jimmy's ghost session and his ghost guardian who i had picked out for him A WEEK BEFORE HE ALSO BECAME A GHOST and frankly this one has an extra special place solely for that dodgeball.

men are fools, oh, men are frail - post limited life scene between martyn and the watchers. no one should've ever let me watch evos because it made me worse about the watchers and it shall never be rectified. i LOVE writing about the watchers and i love writing about their relationship with martyn and someone told me in the comments of this fic that i had a good martyn voice in this one and i will literally think about that forever. so. you get it.

and as for my people to tag! @cohnal @waveridden @pixlostinatos @charaznablescanontoyota @theminecraftbee (if you haven't already been tagged. if you have. whoops.)

[blockbusterclosed]

@ your tags on your parker art, PLEAASE tell me abt your parker designs👀👀👀

I accidentally deleted the first ask Abt it Sorry Op But Anyways !

All Parker's are 19.

All Parker's (excluding prime) have roman numerals on the back of their left hands.

All are left handed.

Parker Prime Macmillan: he/they

They're Latino. He's also the Most Human out of the Parkers, but slowly transformed into more Non Human. with firewalker, he was constantly on fire. He started growing out his hair and eventually lost his eye do to circumstances I have never came up with. It's replaced with a "baseball stitch".

His vault wings are on his ankles! They serve no purpose other than to show that he's legendary.

In fall ball, their hair was burnt off leading to them having a buzz cut. He also gets features of Blue Alaskan King Crab. His teeth are pointer and his hands are claw like (not like crab claws, he still has fingers)

Park3r Macmillan: he/they/it

My Park3r design is solely based on how much I personally know about him actually... (for reference I joined blaseball around season 20) I feel like he was a very mysterious guy being the first commissioner. They have pitch black skin with bright green eyes and stitches on their arms. It also has three (3) eyes! He's Roman.

All I know about this guy is that he went to court and died. And also created parker bot? I believe? Either way, this parker is faulty.

P4rker Macmillan: he/she

The most non human parker! She's basically built to be a player and commissioner. His head is a ball and his body follows the same baseball texture/look. She has four (4) eyes and no mouth. Despite this, you can always find him with a smile.

He always wore a dress shirt under his blaseball jersey, fitted with blaseball pants. She is also Roman!

This parker is faulty.

Pvrker Macmillan: he/she

This parker is the perfect mixture between human and nonhuman. Unrelated to his design but he has a dissociation disorder. He is also Roman.

She has five (5) eyes which have replaced one of his eyebrows. (Anymore parkers they would've ran out of eye room..)

This parker has red stitches against his tan skin which crawl across all his limbs. He's dressed with the perfect dress shirt and red tie. She's perfectly put together.

This parker was perfect until season 1*.