#blind leo has my whole heart

[koolaidashley]

More 04 posting me and my crew small but we crazy

[justsome-di]

Now a Pulitzer Prize winning book (don’t fact check this, just trust me) and featured on Obama’s 2023 Summer Reading List!

You should be reading Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs! Why? See above.

It’s a good story if I do say so myself. And if you read it, you’re a cool kid. Don’t you want to be a cool kid? This is something called peer pressure, and it usually works.

But for real, if you read Nobody Ends Up Dead then you’re going to go on a good adventure with good characters I guarantee you will love. Not to brag, but it is a pretty good story. There’s funny one-liners, a cute plot, and relatable characters that have been developed for years. Just heed warnings at the beginning of chapters. NEUD deals with some heavy topics such as eating disorders.

NEUD is officially all online for free. But you can still access bonus chapters and short stories on Patreon for only $4.

Links: 

AO3

Wattpad

Patreon (Patrons had early access to the whole novel and also get exclusive short stories with the characters and sneak peaks for new projects!)

Netflix Previews

Characters’ Playlists

You can also check out my carrd if there are any updates to how/where I post, it’ll probably be the most accurate place to find new or updated links.

Transcript under cut:

The Story is Dope

A New York office worker and a sex worker get set up on a date--one thinking it's a real blind date, the other under the impression it's an ordinary appointment. After realizing it was all a shitty prank, they set out for revenge. Their plan: show up to an upcoming Halloween office party as a genuine couple, convincing the pranksters they genuinely fell in love and refusing to let themselves become the butt of the joke.

Our main characters are Alex, an awkward admin assistant for a medical company who hasn't been on a date since he was a teenager, and Damián, a sex worker who seems way out of Alex's league but keeps insisting on spending time with him so they can perfect their revenge scheme.

The novel features a diverse cast and explores sex positivity. I also like to believe that it portrays sex work well. Damián is a hardworking man, doing what he loves, and meeting mostly great people along the way--but he also would benefit greatly if sex work was decriminalized and therefore had better resources at his disposal.

If you're looking for a story with LGBT characters that's mostly light-hearted but still packs a punch every few chapters, this is it! Overall, it's a happy story.

The Characters!

oh boy the characters!

we got Damián who's hardworking and doting on his lil bro but oh wow does he have some angst

we got Alex who is nothing more than a burning ball of anxiety trying his best--all too relatable

Leo, Damián's bro, is an ally, and he will make sure everyone knows. Also has angst.

Eve, Alex's lil sister, is an edgy teen who's failing calc and runs a queer book club

together, they're a weird lil dysfunctional family

I'll be honest. There's a lot of love in this story. From me and among the characters. The characters love each other, and I think the readers love them, too.

It touches on a lot of loneliness--inspired by how I've felt since Covid started--and a lot of the conflicting emotions that come with being gay. What happy endings do we deserve? What about happy middles?

It's a touching book about learning to be a better person and finding people who love you--platonically and romantically.

Here are some of my fave parts:

And then there was a streak of gray hair that shocked Alex. A streak of gray hair off to the side, nestled close to a salt and pepper beard. Textured hands held cocktails. Little, subtle lines creased when mouths laughed. Alex held his breath. On the packed floor, they were the only people Alex could see. They were laughing and holding each other and enjoying themselves, firmly in the place they knew they belonged. Flashes of teeth pressed against each other, disappearing for long seconds at a time.

--

“Sorry,” Alex said. “Your arm got heavy on top of me.” “You’re a little mouse of a man. I didn’t mean to crush you.” “I’m what?”

--

“A dog!” Damián cooed as he sat across from the lesbians. “His name is Yam,” Martin said.

“His name is Yam,” Damián cried. Kris and Clara released Yam and gently nudged him to Damián. Ecstatic, Damián picked him up and set him on his lap. “His name is Yam,” he repeated to Alex. “I heard.”

--

But he couldn’t deny that he was having a good time. It was like intense yoga with the perk of having a cock shoved up his ass. He was going to feel limber as fuck after.

--

“Can I do anything?” Alex asked. “To help cheer you up?”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’d like to. If you let me.”

--

“Wow this sounds great where can I read it?”

Tumblr @justsome-di

Watpadd @justsome-di

Patreon @just some di (link on Tumblr)

AO3 @justsome_di

Updates every friday!

[originalwombatfart]

Echo Visual Novel Playlist!

Hey all! Last year I played Echo, and by god has it stuck with me. From the story, art, characters, and generally just how naturally all the queer stuff felt during my time reading. I highly suggest anyone who had not played it yet to check it out, but be warned it is not for the faint of heart!

My and my partner made this playlist over the course of 4 months! It had 4 hours of songs that we tried to fit into vibes, characters, and themes. Here is my breakdown of what each song fits to. Some songs a directed towards characters, but each song is centered in their category. Some songs overlap, and could fit multiple characters.

-Chase: Bottom of the River, Christmas Kids, Spanish Sahara, I Scared All My Friends Away, Underwater, Blood On My Name, Little Secrets, The view Between Villages, Am I Dreaming

-Jenna: Piano Fire, Fast Car, My Silver Lining, Re: Re:, Distance Facebook Drama, Nothing You Can Take From Me

-Leo: Christmas Kids, Ribs, Cha-Ching, 27 Reasons, Got You, Same Drugs, I Love You So, Favorite Poison, Two Birds,

-TJ: Christmas Kids, The Good, Lions Roar

-Carl: You are Stronger, Tree House, Close Tonight, Numbers, 2/14, Cold Weather, The Dead Come Talking, Fall Asleep, Tongue Tied, Panic Attack

-Flynn: Bottom of the River, Turn the Lights off, Wild Side, I Scared All My Friends Away, Allies or Enemies, Blood On My Name, Key Plus Words, Never Love an Anchor, Can't Catch Me Now, A Toast and A Spirit, Dirty Little Secrets, Panic Attack

-Sydney: Underwater, Allies or Enemies, Can't Catch Me Now, Unconditional Love, The Dead Come Talking, Father

-Brian: Lovely Bastards

-Tetanus Alley Gang: Cause for Concern, Remember Me

-The Group as a whole: No Instructions, I'd rather go blind, Nothing's New, Photos from When We Were Young, One Day, Running Away, Everyone's a VIP to Someone, Normal People Things, Escapism, Theseus (Good Endings), Hey Lover

-Town of Echo: Everything Stays, Bullet With Butterfly Wings, Hanging Tree, No Glory in the West, Muddy Waters Breakers Roar, Never Be Alone

-Vibes: You're Not Here, Theme of Laura, Space Song, Beyond Desolation (Bad Endings), dream (they do be dreaming), Serenity

Overall Very proud of the work we put in! A few songs didn't make the cut, but I am satisfied with the list we have. Four hours is a lot! Let me know if you wan individual explanations on why we put a song on the list.

[valiantlandpanda]

Leo Valdez x OC (Hela, daughter of Thatanos)

Angst & fluff

Leo always had low self esteem and never talked much about his feelings. Unable to stand the feeling of jealousy, he finally burst.

_________________

It took Leo almost the whole semester just to get close to Hela, so imagine just how ecstatic he was when she finally agreed to date. It began with a simple pinky intertwining till finally, their first kiss.

It was on the roof, one of the many late nights they decided to stay up together to look at the stars, Hela was the one who initiated. It was a simple peck in the nose, but boy did that do the trick. Leo's face was tomato red the rest of the night, Hela's laugh at his reaction was forever imprinted in his head.

But ever since the bus trip, Hela and Jason Grace have been acting closer than before. Leo tried to ignore it, not wanting to come off as being a possessive boyfriend. But frankly, ever since the quest started, it had only gotten worst. They began exchanging nicknames, which was a jab in Leo's heart as it took practically months of him begging before he got a nickname from Hela.

He knew it was irrational and lame of him to be jealous, but how could he not when his competition literally looks like a roman statue hand-carved by Da Vinci himself. Leo on the other hand, he felt like a scrawny little monkey who clowns around in comparison to Jason.

So when Hela leaned backwards towards Jason to take a nap instead of leaning forward to Leo. He snapped, he could feel his heart in the verge of breaking. Was this it? Has she really replaced Leo already?

__________________

"OH, COME ON Hela. I'm not blind, okay!" Leo raised his voice in frustration. "You were very defensive of him the moment he woke up that morning! You stopped calling me with nicknames, and don't you dare think I didn't saw how you both holding hands and hugging either! And now, you even refer each other with nicknames? You don't even like to be called with nicknames!" His voice got a pitch or two higher, his eyes getting glassy with tears. 

Hela reached forward to hug Leo but he slapped her hand away, afraid it she hold him, he'd immediately melt onto her and pretend that nothing was troubling him. But Leo can't take it anymore, the fear of being abandoned was too great that maybe him initiating it would at least make the pain hurt less.

"I know you like him, okay... A-at least just break up with me if you're going to treat him more like your boyfriend than you do with me. I can handle a b-break up- I'm f-f-fine if you break up with me. Just don't go c-cheating on me right when we're still-" He choked up, clearly trying his best not to break down into tears.

Hela stood there, looking around to make sure Jason and Piper hadn't woke up from their quarrel. "I-if you don't want to be the o-o-one who end it, I c-can, just say the w-word and I'll, I'll stop being-"

Unable to stand it anymore, Hela immediately grabbed on to his wrist, "L-let go of me!" Leo tried escaping her grip but failed miserably, she wasn't bothered by it and continue to pull them into a corner.

Using her powers, she made a barrier, allowing them to have the privacy they needed. Hela sat down and make herself comfortable then pull him into her embrace, making him sit of her lap. "Don't bother trying to push me away" She said when Leo tried to escape, he immediately hid his face in the crook of her neck instead. She stroke his hair and whisper soothing words, allowing him cry. 

After a few minutes, Leo's cries reduce to sniffles. Letting out a sigh, Hela positioned both of them so they can see each other face to face. She smiles a little, "I'm sorry, love. It was never my intention to make you feel that way... You're my boyfriend, okay? I'm all yours, not Jason's. And I am sorry if I made you feel any less than that." Hela said while wiping the tears left in his face. 

"I do not have any romantic interest towards Jason. He doesn't remember anything about his life. I am one of the only one who actually know him, that's why he is close to me. That nickname he and I use is just a way to reassure him about his life and hey, you're the only one who called me Hela, no?" Leo nodded in respond.  

"You and my mother are the only ones who ever call me with that name. I let my old friends call my Ash, you know, since I turn things to ash," Hela start bouncing her leg up and down.

"Point is there is only one guy I would ever wanna date and love, a guy who is a genius, funny, handsome, someone who can brighten my day just with a smile. And he is right here in front of my eyes." Hela rest their forehead together. "His name is Leo, not Jason. kay?"

"I'm sorry..." Leo blushed and hid his face in embarrassment. "Aww, don't be soot. I'm glad you told me what's bothering you. I'll try my best to pay more attention to you, but I also need you to be understanding right now, okay? I promise, after this quest, I'll give you all the attention you want." Hela hold his face and gave him a peck in the nose.

"But of course, a five minute break from life won't hurt though," Hela starts pampering Leo's face with kisses and continue to cuddle, Hela always like hugging Leo, his body was like a hot pack, very comfortable.

[tangledinink]

heyy!! srry to bother u again but ive started my drabble (which is actually gonna probably end up being like 3-4k augh) and i just have a question

ik mikey has ADHD and is medicated for it, but are any of the others? i would love to project my adderall woes onto as many of the turtles as possible LMAO

this particular oneshot is leo-centric insomnia stuff he learns how to play chess and it's a whole Thing

anyway thanks!! and i LOVED that comic abt them at the fancy restaurant ohmygof it made me wail

Eeee yay!!!! I’m so excited to read it when you’re done!!! :D I do think Leo probably has ADHD, but it’s not as ‘severe’ (or at least doesn’t present as classically) as with Mikey. He and Raph are currently not diagnosed with anything, but lowkey Leo probably has ADHD (at least lol) but has kind of “gotten away with it” so to speak, at least this far. Raph most definitely has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder, and their Dad (and brothers…) have been side-eyeing them both for a while now.

Yoshi has been trying to get Leo and Raph into therapy for a while now but they’ve both always been kind of resistant to it. For Leo it’s mostly because he associates the concept of therapy with Mikey and Donnie and their struggles, so he looks at them and looks at himself and is like “??? What no. I’m not the same as them so why would I need therapy or anything???” and also plays the comparison game (“yeah sure I have a hard time with X but it’s not as bad as Mikey’s time blindness or Donnie’s sensory issues so this is fine and normal, actually.”) Raph, similarly, tends to use Donnie as a “benchmark” so to speak and thus is like “well my panic attacks aren’t anywhere near as bad as his, so I’m fine,” bless his heart.

Mikey doesn’t have anything going on besides ADHD (though he does also struggle with eating a little at times coz,,, adderall), but he’s just SO ADHD. Level 100 ADHD. Donnie, my sweet baby boy, kind of has a gaggle of neurotypes and issues (autistic, anxiety, disordered eating, some OCD traits, handful of other uncategorized things…) and his family has always been very supportive of him, but the downside is that Raph and Leo are now internally kind of like. What? No. I don’t have issues. [gestures to Donnie] HE has issues!

For some reason I like the idea that Leo occasionally bums adderall off of Mikey when he’s having a particularly hard time with schoolwork or a project and is always like “lol it’s a study drug makes brain go brrrrr” and Mikey is like :||||| mmmhmmmm… yah…. that’s what this is…..

But!!! This is all very up to interpretation? I think? If you wanna diagnose Leo with ADHD and put him on Addy, then please, by all means, go right ahead! Also!!! THANK YOU!!! :3c

[tokusaatsus]

t. leo — play it on repeat

warnings: insecurity

Leo can never stop thinking about you, and he thinks it might be becoming a problem.

There’s a constant melody playing in his head on loop, but he’s not complaining! This is good inspiration, something that will stick with him for a while. He can visualise the notes in his head, and hurriedly gropes around in his backpack for the sheaf of papers he knows is in there, somewhere.

They’re a little crumpled when he unfurls them, but he doesn’t complain. After all, any paper is good paper!

He begins scribbling, attempting to get this down pat before the tentative symphony his genius brain is forming is replaced with another one. This happens a lot—him losing the melody before he’s even finished crafting it, the cogs in his brain constantly turning, turning, turning.

He’s like a machine! Albeit a very clunky one, because his brain doesn’t really work the way it’s supposed to… No matter! Leo can already tell the song that he’s writing will be a good one. He can’t wait to show it to everyone…!

As he hums under his breath, he imagines your features following the path of the music. The dips and curves, tracing the slope of your nose and cheekbones with his fingertips the way he is wont to do, affectionately. The crescendo patterns itself after the swish of your hair and as the music hits its peak, he thinks of the way your fingers, fine-boned and delicate like a bird’s wing or a cat’s paw, move idly as you speak.

Perfect, perfect, perfect, this music is perfect—borne from his ever-thinking mind, riddled with thoughts of you, you, you.

The lyrics, too, start to form. Bird’s winged love, my heart yearns. Leo bites his lip. Objectively, he knows it’s good. Everything he writes is. He just wonders… Because it has to be perfect, obviously. If it’s not perfect, it’s not worth it.

And you are perfect, so you’re most definitely worth it. He has to make this worth something, to you. He wants to see that look in your eyes, the one you get when you spot something you adore. He wants to be the one to put that spark there. He wants, he wants, he wants so badly it hurts.

When he presents this gift to you, he needs to know that you will keep it in a special plce in your heart. It’s a selfish thought, Leo can’t claim your whole heart. But he’ll be satisfied with just a piece. Enough to secure his place there.

If you were here, you’d joke and tell him, my whole heart is yours, silly. You’re not here right now. But you will be. Soon, soon, soon. It will be morning and you will show up at his door with a bouquet of flowers, blinding as the sun, and you will offer him your hand.

He remembers. You smiled at him, once. He thinks of the curve of your lips, secretive and oh so lovely. You smile at him, and he falls in love all over again. Pretty, pretty, pretty, a smile like the moon. My dear, I love you so. You laugh, laugh, laugh and Leo loves, loves, loves.

© tokusaatsus 2023

wc. 533 words

reze txt. hbd leo! the only energy i could muster turned into... this. please enjoy, i put effort into it ;_; (spiritual gift for @akinachiri ♡ ily bff sooo sorry i cucked your husband /hj) title is from do i wanna know by the arctic monkeys

taglist. (fill out the form or send an ask to be added!) @prpne​ @gabirii​ @kazemiya​ @engurishu​ @kkomaism​ @asbestieos​ @mikctp​ @lilikags​ @lolthia​ @unwantedsleep @hasumilvr​ @head-full-of-empty​ @pr3tty-jennie​ @narumika​

[dashawns-world]

Been a little bit since my last post! Sorry this one isn’t going to be a very long one either. I’ve been very busy with my new job and personal work, but I did want to talk about three movies I saw recently! And while I won’t spoil anything major, these thoughts may cloud your judgement going into the films, so I recommend avoiding if you wanna go in with an open mind. Anyway, let’s go:

BARBIE

Barbie was such a fun film! It made me laugh out loud way more than it had any right to. Seriously, there’s a joke Will Ferrel nonchalantly says that I can’t get outta my mind. I had tears in my eyes. Not gonna spoil it but if you know, you know. The themes are quite existential, but in a playful enough way that I didn’t leave it thinking “bummer…” If I had to complain about anything, it’s that Barbie was kinda inactive for the final act. To the point where I was asking myself “what is Barbie doing?” Maybe you’d see what I meant if you watched it. (Or disagree) I still had a good time tho.

It’s worth a watch!

TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM

This is my favorite TMNT movie now, and my favorite personification of the turtles. The art direction, emotional stuff, comedy, action, and characters were all on point. There’s a moment where Leo has a heart to heart with his bros that didn’t feel as earned as it could’ve (on first viewing) I only bring this up because it’s a thought I had as the scene was going on. Where as everything else in the movie felt organic and original, this scene felt like a tried and true motivational speech beat that these types of movies generally have. If that makes sense? I’d have to watch it again to be sure. And thankfully, I’d gladly watch it again because I had such a good time.

Watch itttt!!

THEY CLONED TYRONE

This is a Netflix original and boy was I blown away. I swear, John Boyega is on Leo DiCaprio’s level of changing into a whole new person for his roles. I’m never sure who I’m gonna get. He really killed it. I’m not gonna spoil this movie and honestly if you go in blind it might be better. The directing is really REALLY good, too. There’s a scene that I really loved, where we’re with a character for an extended amount of time in one shot. This is to build tension for a pretty crazy moment afterwards and it was VERY well done. These types of scenes are so cool to me because I’m used to cutting often in animation. But in live action, these scenes are really good for getting inside a character’s head. I really can’t explain without spoiling but if you’ve watched the movie, I thiiiiink you know the scene I’m talking about.

Anyway, the cast, direction, and plot are all top notch. Jamie Foxx is hilarious as always, and Teyonah Parris gets to shine in this film. I loved her character in this compared to Wandavision where her talent was wasted.

I think this movie is perfect for the culture, but if you’re not typically into movies with a majority black cast that deals with African American issues (in a really good way) then you probably won’t be impressed. Your loss, though! I believe that this, alongside movies like The Woman King, The Harder They Fall, and Get Out are examples of movies that have clear parallels to others in their respective genres, but add a twist that I appreciate because of their characters and writing. I used to be stuck with hood movies, but now I get hood mystery movies. I love it, is all I’m saying.

Anyway, I know what the next deep dive is gonna be. I just need to set aside free time to write it up. I’ve been wanting to do a write up about beat em up games. My favorite one, in particular. I want to analyze what I like about it, and what I don’t. Might do more drawing to go alongside it too. Anybody remember Advance Guardian Heroes?? Brace yourselves, lol.

[v3nusxsky]

Hii can i request a lady lesso x reader soft smut w body worship and praise w dom Leo? Maybe r has been getting a bit jealous of someone else flirting w Leo that r thinks is more attractive then her and she gets insecure about herself, Leo finds out that r started getting insecure of her own body and basically has soft sex w them w some overstim and lots of praise? Mistress kink too <3

I’m nothing compared to her| NSFW

*Authors note~ This is quite similar to one I've already written so I wanted to try my hand at another aspect of this prompt*

Trigger warnings~ mistress kink dom l sub r breeding kink overstim toys body worship

Prompt~see ask^^^^

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

Jealousy truly was the green eyed monster. But for you it was something you struggled with as a whole. You knew how Leonora could be captivating, hell you knew the effects all to well. So when you saw one of the professors a little too close to her, you couldn't help the monster that reared it's head. Truthfully you know it was stupid. You knew how much she loved you. How you would be her one and only. How she viewed you as hers and hers only. You also knew that Leonora thrived on teasing you, making you jealous, she loved how you would become possessive. It always made for an interesting night. You always tried to contain the jealousy you felt but today was different.

All day you'd been in a slump, nothing felt right. You hated the way your clothes fit your body, the way your hair sat even how far apart your eyes were. Completely hating every small detail of yourself and you couldn't help but feed into the insecurities as soon as you saw her with your girlfriend. It's not that you thought she'd cheat, you knew better than that, but it was how beautiful the other woman was. You weren't blind, and you could see Leo was just being polite but you could see how the other woman wanted more. Giving up your poor excuse of control, you dropped your books you were carrying and left them feeling dejected. You knew your reaction made no sense, Leo did nothing wrong, but for you it hurt. You truly didn't believe you could be enough for the great Dean of Evil. You fled to the only place you felt safe, your shared chambers and settled into the bed hugging her pillow. You let your tears fall as your mind ran away with itself, her scent working to calm you. You were so distracted you didn't even realise Leo had followed you, utterly confused by your display.

The sight broke her heart and it all suddenly made sense. You were having a bad day and saw her conversing with someone you considered to be beautiful. Of course you felt inadequate, after all it wasn't the first time you'd felt this way. You would come to her and tell her normally, so this must have been bubbling away for a while without attention. She did the only thing she could think of, coming to join you on the bed and cuddle you close to her chest rubbing soothing circles on your back. Truly she just needed you to calm down, knowing if she spoke now you wouldn't really hear her words.

It took some time but you eventually calmed yourself. Her words and her steady rhythm of her beating heart had soothed you enough, the tears now dried on your cheeks when she tuned her body to move and straddle your hips. "L-Leo?" You mumbled confused on what was happening. "You my darling girl deserve to be reminded of how truly stunning you are. And that's my job so allow me love" her tone left no room for argument but teased waiting for your consent to allow her free reign of your body, which you gave willingly only ever wanting to please your lover.

That was truly the best choice you made all day, Leo seemed to seep her love and compliments into every pore of your skin. She took her time, as if she had all the time in the world, making sure she complimented and kissed every single inch of you. You didn't even realise her words had caused tears to fall once more, truly you couldn't believe she saw you in such a light, but her words showed the truth behind them. It was only then that you realised you were fully naked and you went to move and cover yourself until a hand stopped you. "Darling, don't hide from mistress she only wants to make her good girl feel good" she purred before kissing all over your chest and sucking a pert bud into her mouth, flicking her tongue over it delighting in the moan she received.

She payed worship like to both your pert breasts before kissing her way down to your now soaked core. Her praises never stopped as she took a long swipe of your wetness. She couldn't help but moan at the taste of you, "you're truly gorgeous my darling, let mistress make you feel good"she purred before going back to eating you out. It was different to her normal need. Normally she would be excitable and unable to contain her pace but tonight she made a conscious effort to slow down, enjoy every squirm and every moan she could pull from you.

She did just that reminding you that you're her good girl and that she loved you and only you. You'd lost count out how many times she made you fall apart, the pleasure along with the emotional words truly overwhelming and you didn't know how much more of it you could take. "Oh darling you can give me one more cant you? You're so precious darling. Mistress is so proud of you love cum for me" she purred against your clit as you now rode her fingers into your final orgasm of the night. You'd be lying if you said you weren't exhausted but feeling extremely loved and cared for. Exactly how Leo wanted you to be as she cuddled up to you, settling in for the night with her one true love.

Word count~ 1048

[mad4turtles]

For fic requests maybe a donnie sickfic? Hurt comfort the beloved.. (Also i love your writing!)

Oh, I do Love a good sickfic! Sorry, this took so long, life has been kicking my ass :( But I hope you enjoy it!

---

Donnie hates getting sick.

Really, though, no one would or should enjoy feeling like their insides are melting, their brains turned to slush or their noses constantly blocked (it's worse when it's one nostril first and then the other one, God.) But Donnie thinks, in his humbly correct opinion, he's wholly justified in his immense dislike of being sick. And it's not just due to the aforementioned reasons. But the actuality is far too... icky, gooey emotional to think too hard about for too long, even if it always pops back around, unbidden and unwanted. He prefers logic over the pile of irrational insecurities that linger in the back of his brain, collecting metaphorical dust. 

The actuality is that whenever Donnie gets sick, he gets really sick. 

Second to Leo, Donnie's immune system has always been bogus. Whenever a bug went around, Donnie was the first to get it, and it hit him like a bus. He'd be out of commission for days until his system finally purged the parasite, letting it spread to the brothers and father who'd hovered over him the entire time despite his protests.

And this leads nicely to the other issue that arises whenever nature decides to screw him: his family will not leave him alone. Ever.

He knows he's not the strongest of his brothers. That title, of course, goes to Raph easily, no question. But that doesn't make him weak. Just like his neurodivergent traits make him different, but no less a person and never a burden (in Dad's words, which, heart clench). Or how his soft shell makes him vulnerable in a fight but also Leo's favourite pillow on nights when it's impossible to sleep. They're all things his family have learned to work with or around to make Donnie's life somewhat easier. He's grateful for it.

All of that goes out the metaphorical bloody window the moment Donnie gets a case of the sniffles. And Raph is by far the worst for it, an all-around mother hen on a good day and a goddamn vulture of virtue during flu season. Except for Rat Flu, then it's every turtle for himself.

So this time around, Donnie deigns to keep this whole situation as far away from Raph's overprotective radar as possible.

Except this time, they've just survived an actual alien invasion by the skin of their teeth. And Donnie's got a raging fever that's higher than anything he's ever had in all his sixteen years alive. Apparently, one does not simply walk away from merging with the central system of a spaceship without bruises, scars and a virus that attacks his body with the proficiency of Dr Delicate Touch yeeting a whole-ass building with his bare hands. Which... actually happened, holy hell.

But they have more important things to worry about in the aftermath of the almost-apocalypse—namely ensuring Raph doesn't go blind in his right eye, or that Mikey's hands aren't forever marred by tearing a hole through reality, or that Leo doesn't die in his sleep.

So Donnie does what does best: he gets to work and ignores the pleas and cries of his aching body. He tends to Leo as he sleeps his injuries off. He dodges Raph's worried gazes like it's an Olympic sport and he's going for gold. He evades Mikey's gentle prodding like he does his responsibilities. 

He's dizzy, itchy and all around just one big green and purple mass of overstimulation, mucus and pain, but he gets away with it.

Or he would have if it weren't for Casey being a snitch.

It's the fifth day after—well, after, and Donnie is hanging by a thread and pure spite. It's all he can do to pry his eyes open, everything sore and just plain awful in a way it's never been the last time he'd gotten ill, his body slumped at an uncomfortable angle over his desk. He forgot to take his battle shell off again, so now his back hurts on top of everything else.

It's worse than Rat Flu, worse than anything, and his shell hurts so bad he feels like crying. He's too tired for that.

So he settles for something simpler. He lies on his bed and lets nature take its due course. Surely, death is a mercy at this juncture.

But the universe has other plans and sends in Casey Jr to intervene.

Future Boy is doing his rounds, hopping between rooms to check up on everyone as Nardo sleeps in the med bay. It's really the one time during the day that Casey isn't glued to the slider's side, which is as endearing as it is exasperating. Donnie has done the math, and math doesn't lie. Leo is going to live. He'll be okay. And if the math is lying, Donnie will beat it raw until it tells the only truth that matters to him.

“Master Donatello, as funny as it is to listen to you wanting to beat maths to death, I'm legally required to ask if you're okay.”

Oh. Donnie cranes his sore neck to find Casey standing behind him. He blinks slowly. Had he said all that out loud?

“Yes, you did,” Casey smiles like this is nothing new to him. It probably isn't. “You missed breakfast, and Raphael asked me to come to find you in case you, erm... were dead? I can't tell if that was supposed to be a joke.”

Oh frick. His ruse. It's slipping. Better catch it before it falls off the metaphorical cliff and lands him in the biggest pile of metaphorical shit. 

Donnie sits up and immediately regrets it, his spine seizing with the rest of him in agony, but he channels his inner Leo and plasters a smirk onto his face, spinning in his chair to face Casey. “Have no fear, Donatello is here. I am very much in one piece, as you can see, and very much undead—no, wait, not dead. I'm—I'm good.” Nailed it.

Casey doesn't look convinced. Phooey. “Are you sure? You look pretty beat. I mean, it's expected given the circumstances, but...”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm good,” Donnie scrubs a trembling hand over his eyes. It does nothing to dull the stinging behind them or banish the spots dancing across his vision. That's new. “I... I may have overslept, but alas, schedules have no meaning after the world literally nearly broke. Like our table—y'know, like the meme?” He snickers. “Has Mikey introduced you to memes yet, or—wait, did you have memes in the future? Jeezy creezy, can't imagine what kind of dark humour manifested in that timeline—also, time is relative according to Einstein, so really, maybe I didn't miss breakfast, maybe breakfast missed me—”

Casey puts his hands on Donnie's shoulders, steadying him as he lists too far to the right and nearly falls off his chair. The touch, for once, doesn't burn or make his skin itch with wrongness—Casey's palms are a balm for Donnie's frayed nerves. But he keeps himself from leaning into it as the boy pins him with an unreadable look.

“Donnie, please don't take this the wrong way,” Casey says with a disarming smile. “But what the actual, genuine hell are you talking about?”

Donnie stares at Casey, blinks slowly through the pain, and says, “you have pretty eyelashes.”

“... what?”

“And your nose. 's a good nose. Good for sniffin'. You sniff out all the bullshit with that big ol' schnozz, don't cha, Jones?” He snickers again, and even to his own ears, he sounds drunk. “Bet that's why you can't—can't stand sitting near Nardo for too long, he's fulla bullshit—oh sweet Galileo your had is so coooold that feels nice—”

Casey presses one palm against Donnie's forehead and hisses through his teeth. “Donnie, you're burning up. Like really bad.”

Donnie leans into Casey's palm, chasing the coolness. He feels a grin stretch his beak, delirious as the rest of him, as his mouth runs like the damn wind. “M' bad to the bone, daddy,” he giggles, “you can't handle all this hot stuff, look at me. Y'looking? I hope not, actually, that'd be weird, like Leo's obsession with the bone guy and his skin brother. That shit is wild, lemme tell you. Leo's so freakin' weird, fully bonkers, but I love 'im anyway—“

“I'm not kidding, you should not be this warm, not even for a regular—oh no.”

“Ah, that piss-talking son of a bitch, I miss 'im. I don't tell him that a lot... oh god. Leo could've died up there, 'n I didn't tell 'im I love 'im... ohhhh I'm such an asshole—”

“Donnie, your shoulders... is your shell hurting you? How long were you exposed to the Technodrome? How long have you been sick and not said anything? Donnie—oh shit!”

The world tilts, colours a gross mix of dull greys and purples, and Donnie's pretty sure he's on the floor. He feels so hot. And sweaty. And he's crying now. Gross.

“I love 'em all so much 'n I never say it, but feelings are hard,” he blubbers. Everything still hurts, but not quite as intense. Maybe that's a bad thing. It probably is. “I'm a bad—bad brother. I lie badly 'n I keep stupid secrets like bein' sick 'n dying but—but Leo, and Mikey's hands a-and Raph's eye, so like, what's it matter that my brain's melting or whatever when Lee nearly freakin' died—”

“Donnie, spirits help me you gotta stay awake, stay with me, please—Raphael! Donnie needs help—!”

He feels Raph's impossibly fast, lumbering footsteps shake the ground, and hears his choked voice call his name like a prayer. And then the world finally, finally, goes black.

~0o0~

'My mouth tastes funny', Donnie thinks when he finally crawls out from the sweet abyss of sleep.

It's a reluctant thing, but he's not mad about it. Nothing hurts, which is a nice surprise. His brain throbs, but it doesn't feel like he's melting or about to combust. His shell itches, but it doesn't hurt.

Huh.

There's something blessedly cool laid across his forehead, the rest of him bundled in something soft and smooth—his finger twitches—oh, his blanket. His special blanket from his special closet of special things for when the world sucks more than usual. Where did it come from? He doesn't remember getting it out.

Oh well. He snuggles deeper into it with a sigh, a drunken smile pulling at his lips. Donnie loves this blanket. He loves whatever heavy thing is draped over him from behind, squishing him tight enough that it's comfortable, like Raph's hugs. He loves Raph's hugs. He loves Raph.

“Purple? Are you with us?”

He also loves his Dad, like an embarrassing amount, and readily leans into the clawed palm that cups his feverish cheek. He doesn't open his eyes yet. Too much effort. “... D-ad?” he croaks and wow, is that his voice? Lordy.

He hears the smile and relief in Splinter's voice—“Yes, I'm here, my son. You gave us quite the scare.”

A cough rattles Donnie's chest and dry throat when he tries to speak again. Splinter carefully lifts Donnie's head from the pillow and brings a glass of water to his lips—beautiful, blessed water, how I have craved thee. Donnie drinks what he can as fast as he can without choking. Splinter chuckles, chiding without heat, “slowly, Purple.”

He takes the glass away, and Donnie smacks his lips. He frowns. “... teeth still taste like bees.”

There's a startled, familiar deep laugh behind him and Donnie jolts. Raph is here? Huh. That explains the weight, he supposes, and how the blanket got here. It's still odd because this is Donnie's bed, which is wedged against the far wall of his car, and Raph's too big to fit—

“You're not in your bed, Don,” Raph is still chuckling, exhaustion peeking through the cracks of fondness and relief.

Oh. He's talking out loud again. Lovely. “... where 'm I, then?” he murmurs.

“You're in my room. In my bed. With me.” Raph's voice darkens slightly. “Because I had to hear from Future Boy that you were too busy dyin' to come outta your lab for breakfast. Two days ago.”

Donnie's eyes snap open.

He sees that he is in Raph's room, wrapped from head to toe in his special purple blanket. He sees Splinter sitting on the edge of Raph's massive bed, which is just an oversized beanbag chair with blankets and pillows piled to the nines, his eyes crinkled by his tired smile. He looks over his bare shoulder (oh, his battle shell is gone, that explains the lack of pain) and sees Raph, his massive frame curled around Donnie's in a loose but protective embrace. He also sees that the smile on his brother's face doesn't reach his eyes at all.

Oh, Donnie thinks, I'm in the deepest of shit.

Raph takes a deep, deep breath through his nose, and Donnie wants to crawl into a pit. “Why,” he says slowly, patiently, his smile replaced with a frown half as deep as his chasm, “didn't you tell us.”

Now that his mind is more or less clear and agony-free, Donnie can list the plethora of reasons why he'd kept quiet: from the smothering and the mothering over the years over every little thing—his shell, his immune system, his 'functions'—to the part where, out of all his siblings, he'd come out of the invasion mostly unscathed. He could afford to ignore his needs over theirs and deal with the aftermath when it came. Once everything was fine and normal again.

But he looks into Raph's eyes—bloodshot, deep bags barely visible under his mask, damp with tear tracks—looks over at Splinter, whose fur is nearly matted and streaked with more grey than before, and finds that he can't. 

Donnie doesn't always understand emotions, not like Mikey does, or even Leo, when he's not busy being a nightmare and an asshole who Donnie inexplicably adores. He doesn't always get why people do the things they do. Emotions are wild, unpredictable, and scary—they lead people to do dumb things like lying, crying, screaming, and sacrificing themselves for their families without thinking about the consequences. Donnie prefers logic, facts, and stone-cold evidence because it's safe, makes sense the way the rest of the world sometimes just—doesn't, not to him.

But it's his love for his dum-dum brothers that made him neglect what his body logically needed to keep going. Made him ignore it. Because it made even more logical sense to look after his family first. Just like they take care of him. Even if they smother him, it's not on purpose. That's their logic. It makes sense to them to take care of Donnie that way. Because they love him.

Logic driven by emotion. The two can co-exist, after all. And Donnie is an idiot.

He shuffles in his blanket prison until he's facing Raph and buries his face under his big brother's chin. Raph twitches, perplexed. “Don—?”

“M'sorry,” Donnie mumbles. He shuts his eyes against burning tears. “Didn't... had to take care of you. Leo's hurt. Mikey's hands... your eye... didn't need me going down, too. You'd focus on me and I—I couldn't... I thought it was the logical course of action, keeping my mouth shut, making sure you dum-dums get better, but—”

He sniffs. Dammit.

“All I did was scare you more,” he admits, shame burning deep, scalding holes in his chest. “All I did was hurt. Now I'm here and, and you're here and D-Dad's here, and you're not with them and—I'm the dum-dum, I'm a burden, now, and I-I'm sorry—”

Raph all but hauls him into a shell-crushing hug, curling around him like a spiky shield against the world as Donnie falls apart. There's a rumble deep in Raph's chest that soothes Donnie immediately—an old trick he's used when they were small to help them sleep when Splinter was away. It doesn't stop the tears, but it helps.

“My son,” Splinter hops onto the bed behind Donnie, reaching to stroke his head, claws gently scratching his scales. “You are never a burden. Your health—your life—is just as important to us as your brothers'.” He chuckles. “You know, for someone so intelligent, the obvious often illudes you. And I'm sure we've just had this conversation with Blue.”

“Doesn't count,” Donnie mutters into Raph. “Leo nearly died—”

“And you could've, too, Don,” Raph says, and what? “Your fever was high as a kite, and your shell—dammit, Donnie, when you said the ship jacked you up, you didn't say how bad. You... you can't do that again. You can't—“ 

His voice cracks. Donnie's heart cracks with it.

He looks up and sees the tears leaking through Raph's closed eyelids, and he can't take it. He struggles out of Raph's grip--out of the special blanket that his big brother had made for him out of love and mother-henning that Donnie thought he loathed but wouldn't know what he'd do without-- and throws his arms around Raph's neck. Raph squeezes him back. It sends an uncomfortable jolt through the soft shell, but he doesn't care.

“Stop,” Donnie begs as tears trickle down his cheeks freely. “Stop that. Stop it.”

Raph sniffles. “Stop what?” he croaks.

“Crying,” Donnie hisses. “I hate it. I physically cannot handle watching you do that thing with your eyes anymore, I hate it, stop doing it.”

A pause. Then Raph is laughing, but he's still crying. “Can't help it, Dee,” he says, nuzzling Donnie's shoulder against his wet cheek. “When your little brothers pull too much stupid crap in a row, it makes me feel some kinda way.”

“Join the club,” Splinter mutters, not unkindly. Donnie feels his tail wrap around them. “We've got jackets and tissues.”

Donnie hugs Raph tighter. “If—If I promise not to do it again, will you stop crying?” It's a childish thing to ask but screw it. Screw logic, screw the Krang, screw this stupid bug, screw everything. “I swear henceforward to abstain from pulling any and all sacrificial, illogical or emotionally driven actions which could be detrimental to my health, yours or the fam's well-being, lest I must bare witness to your incredibly offensive emotional distress—”

“Donnie,” Raph is fully laughing now, bundling Donnie up as he sits them upright on the beanbag bed. Donnie draws back enough to see his watery grin. “I'm not asking for the Declaration of Independence. I want you to stop being a dum-dum and tell us what's up from now on. And I'll... I'll dial back on the smothering thing. I know I do it a lot...”

Donnie wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and shrugs. “Maybe. But I get it. That's how you function. That's how you love. That's... you. And I love you, so... don't change too much?” 

Raph stares. Splinter stares. Donnie cringes, his face hot in a way that has nothing to do with his fever. “No, wait, no, that was bad, no, sorry, that was yuck, can I get a do-over—oof! Aaaaand you're hugging me again. Cool cool cool. That's cool—oh, no, Raph, what did I just say about crying?!”

Donnie just catches Splinter's long-suffering mutter of “Boys,” over his screeching and Raph's laughter as the snapper doubles over with Donnie still in his arms.

Donnie doesn't go back to his lab (from which he is grounded for two days, these bastards) or his own room that night. They all camp out in the living room instead for a mandatory turtle pile, plus Casey and April, who support a limping Leo through from the med bay to join them. 

Donnie's twin looks at him and says, “you're an asshole, Dee.”

“Ey!” Raph scolds from where he's pinned under Mikey, the box turtle using him as a pillow.

Donnie meets Leo's glare and says, “it takes one to know one, asshole 2.0.”

Casey gives himself hiccups he laughs so hard, and April nearly drops Leo.

Donnie ends up squished in the middle of the pile, just like it always is whenever their resident (and only) genius gets a case of the sniffles. Except this time, it was worse, or it could have been. This time, Leo doesn't bother to ask permission to snuggle under the special blanket with Donnie because he doesn't need to. This time, Donnie doesn't complain about the smothering.

This time, Donnie falls asleep with a smile.

---

Reblogs are appreciated :3

Send more requests, I love writing these boys :)

[peculiarxafternoon]

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

𝙥𝙖𝙘: 𝙖 𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙩 𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙨

as a person who needs to see and feel things to believe them, communication with my spirit guides has not been an easy journey. i hope this reading helps other people like me, or just anyone who wants to feel some love from their spirit guides.

take a deep breath and think of your guides, or the one you want to communicate with the most. then, pick a pile intuitively.

! for entertainment purposes only !

! constructive criticism and feedback are welcome !

! decks used: rider waite tarot deck, mermaid tarot, the universe has your back oracle deck, astrological oracle cards!

pile 1

(cards: five of swords, king of wands, queen of pentacles rx, five of pentacles, the hierophant, four of swords, the world, nine of wands rx, taurus, jupiter, "my vibes speak louder than my words.", "the universe has my back")

my sunshine, my love,

you are manifesting something aren't you? dream big for it! dream so big you think your heart will explode, so big you feel like there's nothing left inside you to wish for. i can see you working, trying so hard to rise above and show what you're made of. you have been putting everything else on pause and focusing on the one thing you're passionate about, even if it's just subconsciously. i understand that is difficult to do, especially when you see that people often don't understand your vision, or they think you're better off without your dream.

your energy, though, it speaks louder than your words. when you put effort into getting what you want, you will get it no matter what. we always have your back, and I'm always here for you on this journey. you are not alone in this by far. you may not be seeing much progress right now, but trust me, love, it's because you're in the middle of your journey.

it's like going to the gym. at first, you see everything in your body slowly change, but when you reach fifty percent of your body's capabilities and muscle growth, the changes become less and less visible. has this created a lack mentality for you? do you think you're not worth your wishes coming true? don't pay attention to what anyone else is saying, as well as your ego or dark thoughts. when you have gotten used to getting little, it is expected of you to think that what you deserve is too much to want and yearn for. but of course you deserve it, sunshine. you have worked for it, sometimes without even knowing you have.

see, what you have now is only one fourth of the whole thing. not even half, but just a corner of what you can have. i want you to think that the world is in your hands for you to twist and turn as you please. no one will stop you as long as you don't stop yourself! don't even question this, just go. love what you do and put your best energy into it. we'll be here, just like we have been, for every step of the way.

what i want you to do is dream big. i know i mentioned this again, but think bigger, broader, don't take any earthly boundaries into consideration and continue working, continue wishing. additionally, don't stop taking care of yourself. eat well, sleep well, drink water. you need to feel good in order to bring good things to you. help yourself feel beautiful, because you already are even when you don't see it, connect with nature, drink some tea. think of us and what you want to achieve when you do this. don't forget to smell the flowers!

we love you, our universe.

– your spirit guides.

my thoughts:

your spirit guides seem so loving and supportive, pile 1! being on a long journey is difficult, especially when you have to put your blind trust into something you don't even know will surely happen. you are supported and loved, though! i kept seeing sun flares and sunflowers during your reading, so some of you may feel energised with the sun, need more sun or have significant leo in your chart. you could also have taurus / sagittarius, or be venus / jupiter dominant. i can not stress enough how much your spirit guides love you. please, keep chasing after your dreams!

thank you for reading <3

pile 2

(cards: eight of wands rx, three of cups rx, the lovers rx, king of swords rx, page of pentacles, two of pentacles rx, nine of cups rx the fool rx, "there is nothing seggsier than my authentic truth", "the universe has my back", leo, saturnus, luna)

my dearest,

when was the last time you spent some time doing art? doing what you love? you need to get that creativity back into your life, that love you have for the arts and for expressing yourself through them. everything seems like it has slowed down lately and gotten itself out of your control, but this is a time to cleanse and figure out what you truly want to do.

take a step back and think of what makes you happy, of how excited you were about the little things as a kid. what has changed, my love? why won't you let yourself breathe fully again? don't distance yourself from your friends anymore. you know that not having time is just an excuse, and those thoughts you're having are not true. your friends love and appreciate you, and you deserve to have fun with people who love you.

and, what is that about your wishes not coming true? have you truly believed you deserve them for them to come to you? don't you think you have been overthinking things too much? miracles are your birthright, and we always, always, have your back. say what you want to say, wish for what you want, go for what you wish. don't sit back and wallow up in your thoughts. a bit of insider info, your thoughts aren't the best right now. don't trust them too much.

putting effort into achieving what you want isn't an easy road, but it doesn't have to be more difficult than it already is. having fun, taking breaks, going out and enjoying your life are also a huge part of this. otherwise, you're going to get burnt out too soon, and your will to continue chasing after your dreams will minimise. but you have come so far (and I'm so proud of your for that)!

manage your time better, love. you need to make time for your fun, in order to put in double the quality of work later. your feelings need to get out, no matter how jumbled up they are right now. just take out your paints and throw colour on a canvas, dance around to music, sing a different song every minute. get it all out. bottling it up will only make it rot inside you.

you are so loved, don't forget that, and don't forget to hydrate yourself!

ever yours,

your spirit guides.

my thoughts:

are you guys middle eastern? do you like cucumbers? have you not been wearing enough pink? there's so many things that flashed through my head, so I'm guessing this pile was chosen by most of you. i guess, especially if you're turkish, take this as confirmation that this was for you. your spirit guides could be quite strict, but they tried to be very gentle with their wording! back to the cucumbers, you guys can use them to hydrate and get some nutrients. as for the pink, you need its vibration in your life rn. so even if you don't like it, make some room for it in your every day life.

thank you for reading <3

pile 3

(cards: three of pentacles x2, queen of wands, page of cups, four of cups, the devil, seven of cups, six of wands, seven of wands, "oneness is my true nature", "i always trust the direction of the universe snd know I'm being guided", my vibes speak louder than my words.", capricorn, cancer, pluto)

hey there!

how have you been? i hope you've been doing well! just hopped in to say I'm very proud of you and of how far you've come! ah, summer is finally here. isn't that great? now you'll have time to flourish under the sun as well. i see you working, though, chasing after your dreams, too. this is so great for you!

just a small note, don't ever think you don't deserve to achieve your dreams, okay? or that it's impossible for you, or that you don't have enough inside you. haven't you been dreaming if this since you were thiiiisss big (very, very small)? don't you have that fire for it? you want people to see and recognise your efforts, but if you put a stop to yourself you won't be able to go further and show them what you've actually got.

but i get how it could be a double edged sword. "i want to be recognised, but if i do i can't mess up after or everyone will know", isn't that what you're thinking? so? who cares if you mess up later (which, you won't, so don't even think about it). are you going to keep yourself closed up until people start magically recognising your efforts? come on, get out of your comfort zone, and show them what you can do! if you stay in that locked up energy, you'll never be able to unlock your dreams, either~

there are lots of opportunities coming for you, so i want you to choose the one you want the most, intuitively. not the one that looks the shiniest, or the one that you think will bring you the most money, most stability. the one you feel comfortable, at home with. that's the one you should go for. you'll know when the time is right, I'll make sure it doesn't escape you. besides, I'm always next to you, guiding you. so you're okay, you'll be just fine, as long as you accept the flow of the universe.

still, i want you to take time for the things you find important. find a balance between home and work, love and business. there may be some dark thoughts trying to make their way into your consciousness, don't let them get to you! it's most likely stuff from your childhood, anyway. now that you've grown up you can realise that, can't you? whatever got to you as a kid can't touch you anymore, we all know it, and we're all very proud of all the work you've done! shadow work might help you in these times, or some meditation. nurture yourself and the people you love. take a walk. talk with your pet. the usual.

i hope you know we'll always be here cheerleading you! don't think we'll ever stop!

kisses,

your spirit guides.

my thoughts:

you guys may be pluto dominant or have significant capricorn / cancer in your chart. you spirit guide's energy was very playful and fun, so i can imagine you are sort of like that as well, even if it's just deep down. you're networking, you're putting in effort for something, and that's great and all, but take a break once in a while. mostly, accept that you are a boss. literally. you just have this energy, and i can't let you overlook it cause of the past! it's gone now, give yourself space to grow and, as your spirit guides, who would not stop singing a specific summer song in my head, said, flourish.

thank you for reading <3

! do not copy or repost my work !

[alyjojo]

Thinking of You - April ✂️ 2024 - Cancer

Whole of their energy towards Cancer: 2 Wands

Feelings: 5 Swords rev

Intentions: 7 Cups

Actions: The High Priestess

This could be someone young or immature, could be a/your kid if that applies. They genuinely don’t know what they want, this could be someone who hops from job to job, thing to thing, idea to idea, with no real regard for long term investment or “the future”. They like to live in the right-now, and aren’t pressed about it. Life is for living and we worry about today, and with that they could also be someone that’s really fun too. Maybe doesn’t have much money, doesn’t have a decent job, they live for the experience over everything else. Now however, they’re at a new beginning (forced, I’m hearing) and they are trying to plan their way forward…without knowing what they want. They know whatever they choose will take effort, long-term, and they’re overly optimistic to the point of naive with some of their ideas. When it comes to responsible things, it’s like things fly right over their head. Or switch it.

Either they’ve forgiven you or hope you forgive them, someone made a mistake or a “delusional investment” as I’m hearing it, could’ve been at a distance or that was involved. Travel literally, or just their goals in general, they may be someone that uses their looks in order to get their way, or they’re very flirty and entertaining other people. Maybe you know about one and they think you’re delusional because there’s actually seven. 777 is here for you and 7’s are all about decisions needing to be made relating to progress. Do you continue down the path you’re on, or is it time to switch lanes entirely, this path isn’t working out. Or that’s their energy. They are very attracted to you, or inspired by you if platonic, this could be someone that kinda mimics what you do. I don’t get it being off putting, more complementary. They’re kind of a dreamer, but they don’t know how to transmute their fantasies into reality, and maybe you do, or you already have. Or they’re trying to figure out how to approach you and what to say/do. They may try to appeal to your heart strings, or this person is known for being very kind, loving, nurturing. In action, they’re not saying anything and they’re not going anywhere. Waiting for nothing. Nothing that’s going to end up as their 10 Cups, inaction is an action and it’s not one they’re going to be too happy with in the long run. They do have an idea of what their 10 Cups looks like though, and most of these are minor arcanas so, things can change. Logical thinking may not come to them easily, for the time being anyway.

It is possible for someone this is King/Queen fkboy/girl and they’re only interested in messaging other options, and they’re willing to make you one of them, but they’re not looking long term, like it’s not even on their radar.

Messages:

Their side:

- I think about SEX with you all the time.

- Going in different directions.

Your side:

- Yearns for your love 💗

- All About YOU

Oracles:

Inner Peace is my Bitch ☮️

Blind 👓

Awkward - Unknown - Vision Problems

Profession 👩‍🍳

Expertise - Omniscience - Talent

Possible signs:

Cancer, Aquarius, Aries & Pisces

If you’re dealing with:

Page of Swords is a curious learning energy, and one filled with gossip, all of the tea, on either side with you & your people. In some cases there may be some stalking on either side as well, the purpose being to gather information, whether it’s out loud or not.

Aries - one person blocked the other person because they’re an asshole, or just to be one, there could be some petty silent treatment going on here, who can hurt who more?

Taurus - finally getting something they’ve always wanted, a dream come true ✨

Gemini - not sure which path to choose

Cancer - has gone through a very painful betrayal or situation that’s hurt them, no matter how they’re injured it could take some time to heal

Leo - giving love & affection to two people, or that’s why it’s over

Virgo - has feelings for you but doesn’t know how to say it, wants to ask you out or will, if they’re quiet it’s because they’re shy 🙈

Libra - canceled plans/a trip, or no progress in a situation makes them sad

Scorpio - either a beautiful romantic connection that’s everything either of you ever wanted, or a favorite family member ❤️

Sagittarius - patiently waiting for victory between you, or have waited for their chance, someone is asking the other out - finally

Capricorn - viciously ending an unstable relationship at home/in the family

Aquarius - work pressure stressing them tf out

Pisces - defensive because they feel left out

[ashwii]

thinking too hard abt the celestial au again..like. the perfection in it. donnie has always wanted to study people. leo has always wanted to be a star. raph is the core of their universe. mikey is the bright, blinding winks of light, sudden and bright and fast and constant. and if we go with the whole 'they died and were reborn' thing its a thought of..let us give these boys what they never wouldve had, let us give them what they missed. and if they were made for this, atlas turtles to hold the universe on their shells, then they were made to fit their roles, and their roles were made to fit them. donnie was made to shine when night came, and still stand there stalwart in the day, waiting for the world to see him. leo was made to shine and die and create and destroy and live no matter whether the humans saw him or not, to give them a show when they did. mikey was made to create and destroy and blaze, a short little show and burning, blazing love. and raph was made to be the center of this, their steady light, something the universe would be lost without. and all in the same universe..brothers.....and they watch these humans that they give light and stars and tides and comet shows to, with a fondness in their hearts, for the kind and the evil and the interesting. sobs..theyre so......

Eheh I thought a lot of the same things when first making the au. I thought each role fit the boys just so perfectly, so it makes me really really happy that you guys can see that too. Especially star leo. Call me biased, but he's just my favorite. Leo being the stars just fits his character perfectly I feel. <33

[outpost51]

Summer reading/writing tag

@captain-kraken tagged me over here and @void-botanist tagged me over here, thank u both ily

1) Describe one creative WIP project you're planning to work on over the summer:

i am going to fucking finish between a rock and a hard place if it kills me

2) Recommend a book:

if you like blinding neon, go read The Darkest Flower by Kristin Wright, that book permanently altered my brain chemistry

3) Recommend a fic:

oh i'm boutta go FERAL cuz if there's one thing i have it's fic recs, below the cut so my followers don't riot lmao

obvs for mass effect there's the Exponential Differentiation series by @sparatus but if you want something a little shorter Still on Patrol is fucking fantastic mass effect flavored maritime horror with a side of delicious worldbuilding and I'll Follow You hurts so fucking good, he literally established the desabrudas tag and also he is my soulmate.

further there's the Project Sunseeker rewrite and i can't just post @thetrashbagswasteland's entire library but if you want a good, hard ugly cry for stress relief reasons, get yourself a pint of ice cream, a glass of wine, and spend the evening with like, anything in there, also? there's some really good crack in there, and like, also also established a ship tag. and HURTS ME WITH IT.

@teamdilf has great crack in the form of A Cheesy Situation (counterfeit cheese? kidnapping? team dilf? yes please) and A Night in the IKEA, but then gives me emotional whiplash with masterpieces like A Man of Many Talents, also writes minor/underrepresented characters and i would die for cecilia and tullia.

and i don't even fucking go here which is how you know this shit slaps but @bambino1294's Floriography and of beasts and blood and An Upright Tower feed me so well. oh my god.

and if THAT isn't enough to occupy your summer, have Starwind Legacy by @commander-krios bc dash and leo have stolen my heart, and Next of Kin and Flesh of the Weak, Food of the Strong by @princess-prawn are so. i don't go to ANY of these fandoms, her writing just makes me SALIVATE anyway go stalk my friends. tell cersei them. i want them to know it was me. and @autodiscothings' Acts Of Repetition and Sirens and Selkies were HUGE influences for blinding neon. honestly soignee is the reason i decided to write a police procedural at all.

4) Recommend music

anything tagged tunes.mp3 on this blog or my main but also anything by aeseaes (including covers), denmark + winter, or power-haus, i've been streaming those all this week OH ALSO iniko's whole discography, but especially this:

5) Share one piece of advice!

take what you can, give nothing back.

stay frosty, much love xox

if you were tagged above, consider yourself tagged, or come steal an open tag from me!

[capriciousleo]

“Fatui Harbinger Natal Charts” Pt. 2

∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴

Part 1 with Dottore’s chart can be found here!

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𝑺𝑰𝑮𝑵𝑶𝑹𝑨’𝑺 𝑵𝑨𝑻𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑻

Sun- Leo

Moon- Aquarius

Mercury- Virgo

Venus- Scorpio

Mars- Leo

Rising- Scorpio

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(Long ass song intro but I saw one tiktok edit for Signora using this audio and it brought me to tears and it fits her Venus)

OKAY. THIS WOMAN. Got me thinking for a GREAT while lmOaoao. First and foremost- huge Leo energy. She shows both positive and negative traits of this sign. She’s confident, yet she has made quite enough steps further and acted straight up arrogantly lmao. Just her manner of speech, acting as if she’s way above others and they are some unworthy mosquitoes😭 “I know, I know you can’t get me out of your head. But you don’t have to always call out my name.” Hfkdks. She has also made a crucial mistake of being blinded by her status and power- she didn’t properly read her own situation and underestimated herself in the entire scene with the Traveler and the Shogun. “You are aware that the loser must die?” She sounded so condescending saying that😭. Her Leo Mars, in addition to her Sun, made her impulsive at times. Also, this woman can take no joke and no criticism at all. Remember how she literally tossed Venti around bc of his jesting replies to her in Mond? Yeah.💀

Scorpio Venus is very distinct. She loved her fiancé with her whole heart and literally began self-destructing herself after his loss. I associate her butterfly form with the Phoenix, which is heavily associated with Scorpio placements. But, in the end... she wouldn’t be able to rise from the ashes. It’s an “all-or-nothing”— another Scorpio energy. When she loved, she loved with passion, she loved with utmost care. In addition, Leo placements , if they pick someone, they also love very deeply. It simply added more to her Scorpio placement. Losing her fiancé completely broke Rosalyne, so she became another version of herself— a spiteful to the world Signora. (As a person with heavy Scorpio placements myself, I totally understand how she felt. So I fully support😍)

Virgo Mercury and Aquarius Moon. Now... these are the placements that hold Signora detached and clear-headed from others. Virgo Mercuries are extremely logical and responsible to get their task done. You can fully entrust them with any mission, and they will certainly provide notable results. For example, Signora getting the Tsaritsa 2 Gnosis all by herself, while others barely lifted a finger (except for Dottore). Makes sense why Tsaritsa entrusted her so much and imo, Signora deserved a higher rank in the Fatui due to her hardworking nature. Virgo Mercuries also criticize people/things quite a lot. Aqua Moons also have some issues with seeing themselves as someone better (in any aspect) than others and are very distant. With people with these two placements it’s near impossible to get to know them and actually build a ground for future relationships of any kind.

Scorpio rising, another Scorpio placement. My girl needs a break, makes sense why her life went so dark. Scorpio risings always face challenges throughout their lives that literally kick their ass into a from one transformation moment into another. Life always attempts to make them grow and change by making them go through awful situations. These people always have some sort of an inner turmoil due to this. They never feel at peace deep inside. In addition, her CLOTHES. Bestie is wearing the most revealing and dramatic outfit that I’ve ever noticed in the game. Also the colors she chooses? Mainly black, red, and there is some white with light pink-red at the end of her skirt. She wants to look sexy. And sex is related to power. She thrives off the feeling of being powerful— it perfectly feeds her Leo Sun and Mars.

P.s. Yet again I wrote this at 2 am help💀 She’s so precious at 1st pic, just look at her🥺

[weregreatatcrime]

I'm sick and rereading Two Halves and I know I leave a lot (A LOT) of stuff in the end notes but there's actually lots of stuff I still never mention or talk about so here's a long sick (started at midnight until i fell asleep to keep going now) ramble about things I didn't get the chance to talk about but wanted to (in somewhat of an order reminded by rereading) or at least just some lines I particularly enjoyed

I have medicine drugging me let's do chapter 6 It's a long one, folks, there's a lot that I wanna scream about

In awe that the Donnie kidnapping arc happened at 6. We're at fucking 15 chapters before Donnie goes home. What the fuck. How did this happen

Karai was getting snacks for Stockman and trying to get him to explain how his heart hadn't exploded from energy drinks. Results were inconclusive

Just the fact that Donnie was the only one knew Karai saw them and all he did was just fucking wave sheepishly

This interaction was entirely unintentional from both sides. Turtles didn't mean to find her and Karai didn't intend to be seen in civies

"If Shredder’s willing to hurt her… I just think maybe she'd be more willing to listen if we tried to avoid hurting her too." Leo, honey, my heart

"And Master Splinter won't be so upset his kids are fighting." <- Mikey nailed it on the head. Splinter’s upset about Karai being hurt, but he IS also upset that she's also willing to hurt his sons too. He's very conflicted and upset about the whole situation, but he'd never tell his boys to not defend themselves at the least, and AGH

Karai yeeted the can over the edge of the roof and intended it to hit someone, but she didn't actually aim it very well because it was a blind throw over the edge of a roof. Hitting Raph on the forehead was pure chaotic luck.

Continued running gag of Karai intentionally or unintentionally blinding Leo, this time on accident as energy drink sprayed right into his poor eyes. You should probably just get goggles at this point Leo

Karai, as much as she hates Shredder, does still look to him as a figure she needs to impress and make proud. She approaches this with as much zeal as any changeling and hates that she has to control herself so much to avoid being suspiciously advanced for her age and training

"Humans were so, so far from perfect. Didn't mean she liked having to be imperfect." <- This chapter just has a lot of lines I like tbh

Despite how it may seem, Karai DOES have a good grasp on wounds and how much they NEED to heal before she can begin to push them without risking further injury. It's just that, well, risking further injury is an acceptable cost for... most things

The happiness Karai feels when he gives her permission to take longer to heal. He's showing he cares!! (Oh honey....)

Karai has no intention of taking longer to heal because now she HAS to impress him now by bouncing back faster

I try very carefully to point out when Karai refers to him as Oroku Saki or as Shredder- she's shrewd enough to spot when he's actually caring and showing his humanity, or when he's purely the madman we all love to hate

"Of course I'll kill Stockman" She is absolutely not going to kill Stockman

Karai’s acting is Good. She flat out lies to Shredder’s face multiple times in this scene

Karai actually begins to think of Stockman as HER minion now, including being possessive and protective of him. Shredder doesn't "deserve" him.

Shredder my man, do you know how many scientists you could recruit just by waving funny alien goo in their faces?? You wouldn't even need to pay most of them jfc

"you should never corner a nerd" PREACH Karai. Scientists aren't all passive geeks and soft nerdy bois. They can fuck you up oh my god. That's how you get shit like Iron Man

Mikey’s intuition strikes again- he KNEW tonight was a bad idea and he felt when the first wave of tranq darts was coming. Too bad he doesn't have the training to be able to recognize this as a legit warning and not just him feeling funny

Mikey not knowing what to do and immediately looking to Leo for instructions, only to realize Leo hasn't said anything in a bit *clutches chest*

Dancing Mikey strikes again. Using his intuition and his own natural talent to just. Dodge and flow through combat without taking a hit. I imagine this actually takes a lot out of him as he's actively channeling that intuition ability whether he knows it or not, and it wears him out pretty fast. Like flexing a muscle he doesn't usually intentionally use

Raph the Protector standing over Leo keeping him safe, and Mikey not even hesitating to turn his back to the fight and let Raph cover him because he knows big brother will keep him safe

Leo's kinda semiconscious in this scene. He's not knocked out, but he's definitely not awake. He'll only vaguely remember the events later. Those darts should've knocked him tf out but a mix of mutant biology and Leo's own stubbornness kept him awake to a degree

Mikey stopping to grab Leo's swords for him 😊😊

Leo's symptoms of tranq overdose are about the same as Donnie’s, if anyone was curious. But Donnie has bigger concerns to worry about plus is kinda unable to DO anything else so is able to sleep them off

Longs legs Mcgee in here got crammed into a tiny cage. rip donnies legs

I love writing Donnie. He's a mix of all the perception and knowledge I need to help set the scene without going too expositiony, but also I can manually cut off his stream of thoughts as him just personally redirecting his own rambling. This is great because I, unfortunately, tend to ramble a LOT lmfao

Donnie hasn't had his mask since this and I feel so bad

Kevin Michael Richardson's voice could kill me and I would thank him. The fact that he voices 2k12 Shredder is unholy. This man's voice gives me shivers. I feel so, so bad for every character who has to be menaced by That Voice. I try to emphasize how scary his voice is to the turtles because holy fuck dude

Shredder is enjoying tormenting poor Donnie

I couldn't remember if the turtles actually knew that Stockman was being held against his will via mutagen collar. If they did know tbh, I think they would've at least kinda tried to help?

The needle thingy is pretty much like a mini harpoon, though custom made to have a bomb installed. It's not supposed to go in torsos. Shredder came very close to actually killing Donnie if he happened to accidentally get it into a major vein

"Of course he was crying, like a child. Because he was really badly injured, and he was 15 years old!" A lot of villains seem to forget, not know, or just not care that they're fighting a bunch of kids. Shredder is a mix of all three

The fact that Donnie was thinking of what his brothers would do in his position, realized Raph would try to spit on him, and Donnie immediately tried to do that (he's probably lucky he was too dry mouther, Shredder would've beaten the crap out of him for it)

I love love love writing evil, unhinged monologues so writing Shredder’s insanity was a fucking delight. Poor Donnie

Yes, Shredder’s intentions aren't super clear with Donnie. Yeah, he definitely wants to torture the poor kid. Yes, he DOES need a scientist for the mutagen. But he also is totes cool with just killing him for the funnies. He hasn't decided yet

(This was in part because those pesky cognitive difficulties kicked in while writing the end of this speech and I got mightily confused myself. Later when editing I went back and realized it actually fit pretty well with Shredder’s decreasing sanity, so I cleaned it up a bit and kept it, rather than trying to make him stick to a singular goal)

The injury likely swells up a bunch, putting strain and pressure on most of Donnie’s torso. His lungs have a bit less room than they'd prefer to breathe- that's part of why he struggles with his breathing and lightheadedness

(Insert my First Aid rambles from the end notes in multiple chapters)

When you have an object Inside Your Body in places that things aren't supposed to go, it feels WEIRD. Even disregarding pain- your body's nervous system is entirely different INSIDE your body versus your skin. Worst thing I've ever felt- steroid injection in the foot, Dr poked the INSIDE OF MY SOLES on accident. It was the most invasive horrific feeling because things *aren't supposed to touch that* and personal note to yall- steroid injections are horrible, don't skimp on your foot health

"I love the dichotomy of Karai enjoying [Shredder’s] compliments and striving for his approval while still ABSOLUTELY hating his guts and planning to literally assassinate him."

Shout out to the one commenter who was having a heart attack over Donnie- glad you're okay 🧡🧡🧡

[tristayranambrosio]

Things Forgotten and Reforged Part 8

The Rayne Root, for those who have never been, stands as a vast Kaldorei style estate that has been rebuilt twice in its existence that dates back almost to prehistory. Originally it stood as a single building complex and rest space for artisans and creators in the Dark Troll Empire, then eventually grew into a Three wing Estate that expanded with it’s own spa that had been built around the natural hot spring, a whole wing dedicated to an academy campus, and of course the residential wing central in the complex with magnificent courtyard gardens, one maintained by the Rosewarden himself. Trist paced in his roses and briars, his hands freshly soiled with dirt and the work of tilling and aerating a patch of earth. He’d been there hours attempting in vain to get the tree to sprout. Roses came naturally to him… but this was different; an oak tree, and Trist was no druid. “Joo know dat yah cin always jest ask me if joo tryin ta grow sometin.” A voice chuckled over his shoulder. “Not now, Hart.” Trist hissed as he knelt for the five hundredth time in the day cupping his hands over the mound of soil he had watered and sewn with the Sheets, and the acorn along with a nest of threads from the Tapestry. They said he had magic. Everyone constantly told him what he could do was magic, enchanting… So why wasn’t it working!?

“Dis be for my Grandson, what betta time?” The Haunting stood arms crossed and leaning against thin air. He was a spirit so that was hardly something new. Even as a phantom The First-Father or the ‘Hartwood’ of the Root itself appeared a stunning likeness to Leo himself, bark skin and leafy hair aside. He stood feet taller though and was built like a brute rather than the lean graceful Leo was, but the Ancient Elf-Troll missing link still resembled Leo enough to make Trist look any way other than at him for fear it’d distract him. “Exactly. It's for him, so I need to work, and not… I dunno deal with arguing with you.” Trist huffed exasperated. “Joo act like I neva do anytin but argue witcha.” That got Trist to look up and glare at the phantom. “Okey okey, suppose I do like givin ya trouble, I admit dat, but why no ask me ta help…” The sincerity in his words caught Trist off guard, and it loosed his tense shoulders, the stress of -finishing- this in time spilling out of him.

“Because I asked you to help me once… and it took a part of you… it was a mistake, and one I will not make again. I’ve apologized tenfold for it… but it's not enough, nor will it ever be enough to make up for what I took and just… gave away. I resolved to do this without asking more from you… I can do this.” Trist insisted, pressing his hand over the acorn and forcing a melody from his lips once more, but it was hoarse after having tried for hours. The First father’s transparent hand fell over Trist’s and though the Bard couldn’t feel it he saw as the once warlord spoke gently to him, “Little one ja put too much on ya self for all dat… I didn’t give ja more den I willin’ly parted wit… And Dis is for my Grandson…” Trist tried to focus on the song, tune the Ancestral spirit out and focus as sweat beaded on his brow. Hart continued gently, “Joo know dere is no one else fer ‘im little one, joo already gotta put dis ting togetha… let ja old man at least give ja alittle of myself for dis project.” Trist’s voice wavered and his eyes met the phantom’s guilt and desperation warring in the expression as he kept singing.

The deep voiced phantom didn’t have the voice of a singer but he harmonized as best he could, trying to channel the latent magic of the space into their palms as they rested over the acorn. “Let this promise in me start Like an anthem in my heart From now on…From now on…”

Trist felt the stir of something growing beneath their palms but he dared not lift them away, and sang with a wobbling hope. “And from now on… These eyes will not be blinded by the lights From now on… What's waited 'til tomorrow starts tonight It starts tonight! And let this promise in me start- Like an anthem in my heart- From now on From now on From now on…” Hart sang on in unison, feeling his roots reach through and up into the base of the Oak that now grew rapidly forcing Trist onto his back with the sudden burst of growth, the bark and wood itself a stunning spider web patterned smooth and silk leafed Midnight blue…

Trist looked on in sheer awe of the sapling that had emerged from the soil carrying aspects of some of their shared memories and salvaged items, the wood new and already opalized in the grain with pale moon white gemstones within the texture of the tree. “T-that…” “Some of my betta work I’d say, doh joo didn’t do half bad. Just needed dah push.” Hart smirked, patting the bark of his Grandson’s oak. “But I’ll… I’ll hurt it to work on this- I’ll hurt you-” Trist protested. The First Father huffed, “Dis was GROWN to be ja Mate’s and shaped by yah ‘ands. Now take whatcha need from it. I know joo gotta finalize dis before Ja name day no more hesitatin!”  Trist cleared his throat and nodded, finding the branches he needed, finding that a basic shape and curve had already been -grown- into existence. He wanted to argue that it felt like he hadn’t earned this, but the First Father glared, and cut off the thought before it even escaped, “Joo have grown and maintained all dis… roses on roses of all da kinds joo make for all dat inspire ya and joo do it wit-out my inta-vention, joo put in dah work on dat, I just aided alittle. Ja wed tah my grandson, ja ‘is mate, Child, Raynes know when tah ask for help.”

“But I’m not-”

“Yes joo are, Trist. Ya even my namesake. I tink de reason dat be was because ja was meant to find our lost one and bring ‘im here… but despite whatcha tink… dat’s not de only thing ja are for, joo aren’t just some deliver method. Joo are one of us because ja love him, Growin tings comes easy to me… dead or not. And dis way I be helpin with da weddin in some small way, I don’t get to come watch so let ja old mon have dis.” The Phantom teased now and looked like he ached to wrap the elf before him in his arms and reassure him as a father-in-oath, “Tink of dis as my showin we trust ja wit his heart, if dat helps… Joo both deserve eachodda… and Joo mean da world tah him… stop doubtin dat or I -will- haunt joo.” “You already -are- haunting me.” Trist replied deadpan. “Betta stop doubtin yourself den.” “Don’t you have a Raven to flirt with?” “Don’t joo have a ‘Tank you First Fadda’ for me?” “Thank you.” “Dat’s betta.” The Haunting grinned and vanished into the soil and the Oak that had sprouted was swallowed back up by the earth on the heels of his laughter that made the branches above the estate shake and shiver with echoes of it.