#bluntman

[odduwa]

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

[4twizzle20]

Happy 4 Twizzle y'all!! Smoke up till you choke up! Today is a celebration of the trees!

04/20/23

[ionoxmedia]

Mooby's / Clerks Sign available in my shop

Check out this item in my Etsy shop https://www.etsy.com/listing/1251027101/moobys-sign-clerks-view-askew-3d-wood

[chogrin]

@thatkevinsmith #GuruAskew (Red-Dope variant) now available at @unrulyind, @jayandsilentbob, and @jayandsilentbobstash. (Links in Bio) #chogrin #chogrintoys #KevinSmithGuru #KevinSmithToys #MasteroftheAskewniverse #bongsaber #bluntman #silentbob #thatkevinsmith #jayandsilentbob #buddychrist #quickstopgroceries #moobys #clerks #smodcast #jaymewes #filthylanguage #gurutoys #gurutoyseries #unrulyindustries (at Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash) https://www.instagram.com/p/CdLqm2mLFfH/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[lit-works]

Pt 1.

--This fanfiction is a part of my 'Decades of Marvels' one-shot series that celebrates an era near and dear to me. This story is a love letter. First and foremost, to fellow comic book aficionado, artist extraordinarre, and fanboy Kevin Smith who wrote/started/directed the movie that shares this stories title. It is also an homage to nostalgia, and the most nostalgic generation so far. I shamelessly name-drop as many pop culture refs from the 90s as I can, including the OG MCU (90s X-Men, Spider-Man & Friends, The Fantastic Four animated series).

-

"Hey, Shogo, how was school today?" Jubilation Lee asked her adopted son as he entered their home on the island of Krakoa.

"lame! Mr.Summers is teaching stupid Quadratic Equations. But, it got me thinking about when he used to be your teacher." Shogo whined as he kicked off his shoes and sat heavily on the living room couch.

"Old Cyclops' mutant math, I remember the concept. He tried to teach me trigonometry." Jubilation recalled as she sat next to her son.

"Seriously? That's crazy. Anyways, do you remember the Danger Room's Shopping Mall Simulation?"

"Ah, the infamous Danger Mall -where Sentinel sales were always booming. No, I do not remember that one. Is that the exercise they had you running today?" Jubilation joked before becoming seriously curious.

"well, yeah, and I started wondering The X-Men had a place to hit up like that to buy stuff before people started ordering on Amazon. Like, was there ever just merchandise instead of a battle looming over the horizon?"

"You bet we did!! There was this one time, a peaceful day off, before I was a full-time X-Person, and I decided to check out a mall. But, you know your mom, trouble has it's way of finding me...even in the food court."

"wait, what's a food court?"

"Ermahgawd, you poor uncultured swine, so...

-

Once a mecca of American commerce, a gathering place for adolescent youth, and a nice place for an indoor stroll, the mall no longer holds the same place in our daily lives as it did in the summers of the '90s. In the heyday of the indoor shopping mall, one could buy a ham, watch a movie, haggle for a Gucci purse and cap off the day with a round of ice skating. Store fronts were elaborately decorated to look like barns and castles.

Malls across America were filled with seemingly lost or harried, or both, families navigating their way through these temples of consumerism, a long with playful teens in Jnco Jeans and South Park shirts, pink misfits and scene kids lighting up indoors, and the aged mall-walkers.

Families spent a large part of their miserable lives at shopping malls. For generations of Americans, there was no better way to pass time than to completely encapsulate themselves in retail outlets. Wrapped tightly in their warm blanket of commerce, they would loiter aimlessly for hours, often not spending a dime.

There was no greater monument to American capitalism in the latter half of the 20th Century than the mall. The history of the shopping mall can be traced back to the Roman Empire, where teenagers of the day surely milled about in their equivalent of Hot Topic and Spencer's gifts.

The first American shopping mall was built in 1826 in Providence, Rhode Island. Considering the coolest thing to do as a member of previous generation American teenagers was to fight in the wars of 1812, this was an absolute godsend.

The next great thing to happen to America's future adults was the advent of the automobile. The car shook up a number of things, including shopping malls. Shopping mall locations shifted from downtown areas to decentralized suburban spaces that were now accessible to the driving population.

Over a period of a half a century starting in the mid-50's, a staggering 1,500 shopping malls opened in the United States. Countless other mini-malls and strip-malls came into existence during this period as well.

The basic makeup of the new suburban shopping centers followed a very set pattern. Large chain department stores would serve as "anchors", familiar places that would drive traffic to the mall and thus the smaller stores located within the tile strewn floors. Anchors quickly became the key to a Mall's success.

The mall evolved into more than just a shopping center, adding other features than just retail outlets. The American populace could now take a trip to the mall and enjoy movie theaters, restaurants, and by the 80s, the newly ubiquitous video game arcade. By this time, the shopping mall had firmly become an entrenched part of American culture.

For decades, shopping malls appeared as the financial rocks. Individual stores would come and go, but the vacancy rates would always stay low.

And then something magical happened, the malls that teenage girls and soccer moms across the country could only dream of : the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota!

Since opening it's doors in 1992, Mall of America revolutionized the shopping experience of tens of millions of visitors a year. A leader in retail, entertainment and attraction, Mall of America became one of the top tourist destinations in the country and is known around the world.

Back in 1982, the Minnesota Twins and Vikings relocated from the Metropolitan Stadium in Bloomington to the HHH Metrodome in downtown Minneapolis. This created an unprecedented development opportunity for 78 acres of prime real estate. Three years later, the Bloomington Port Authority purchased the stadium site and began entertaining proposals for development. Mall of America was chosen from four proposals, and on June 14th, 1989, developers ans local dignitaries broke ground. On August 11th, 1992, when Mall of America opened it's doors, 330 stores opened for business and more than 10,000 employees started their first day of work.

Mall of America now hosts more than 400 events annually, ranging from concerts, to celebrity appearances and fashion shows. Each year 40 million people from around the world visit the Malls generating nearly $2 billion each year in economic impact for the state.

-

Word had gone out! A once in a lifetime concert being held at the Mall of America in Minnesota: the interstellar pop sensation Lila Cheney was teaming up with America's disco diva Allison Blaire, The Dazzler! The power pair had embraced the grunge movement and would be singing as a duet with a newly formed band called The Resistance in a one-night-only event in the concert Hall of the mall...

[rock-holmes]

finally after *checks calender* 4 days........ i finally finished the bluntman and chronic piece god bless america

[circusgoth-dotcom]

TLC + THC

Ship: Jay x Bear x Silent Bob

Word Count: 1253

Summary: After a long day of signing Bluntman & Chronic comic books, Bear is in desperate need of a massage. CWs for drug references, canon-typical suggestiveness.

Tag List: @canongf @futurewife @rexscanonwife

When Bear began hanging around with Jay and Silent Bob, he had expected things like movie "dates" and loitering in front of convenience stores, both of which were typically on the agenda. However, he had never expected a comic book using the boys' likenesses to explode in popularity such that the three of them would be doing signings at a local convention for nearly eight hours.

"I honestly don't know why I agreed to do this," Bear joked over the comic in his hand, "Banky's never even asked if I wanted in on this superhero action. Am I not marketable??"

"You're here because you write my signature better than I can write my fuckin’ signature," Jay answered as he handed a comic back to a fan. "And of course you're fuckin' marketable! Banky's just a fuckin' pussy. He can't handle all of this." Jay waved his hand in front of Bear's face and down their body, accentuating their curves.

"What would my alter ego be? Mary Jane?"

"You can come by and get me high.~ Any fuckin' time, goth-a-boo, haa." He made air kisses at them, making them roll their eyes with a grin before cringing and hopping from one foot to the other.

"Ugh, how much longer do we have? My feet are killing me, between walking around, checking other booths, and just standing here, I'm about to fucking collapse. And it's been sooo long since lunch…"

Jay looked around briefly before tapping Silent Bob on the shoulder. "If anyone asks, I went off to have crazy, mad, sweat-dripping, sheet-tearing, scream-your-head-off sex with our best friend-- you can hold down the fort while I take Bear back to the room, right?"

Silent Bob looked between Jay and what was left of the signing line before giving him a skeptical look.

"Don’t fuckin' look at me like that, you fuck, Bear's feet hurt and we don’t exactly have a chair to offer them, do we?? I mean I've got something they can sit on but it isn't really going to help right at this moment…" He then clapped his shoulder again, "but wouldn't you do the same thing, SB?"

While Silent Bob briefly considered Jay's argument, the thinner man didn't give him much of a chance to respond before opening his mouth again. "You're the best!"

With that, Jay wrapped an arm around Bear's shoulders and began leading them away from the booth.

"What're we doing??" They asked.

"I'm saving your ass is what we're doing."

"We're going back to the room?"

"Yup."

"Oh thank God."

“So I’m your favourite now, right?”

Bear groaned as they entered the elevator. “Jay, now is not the time…”

“C’mon, don’t tell me you’re too high and mighty to be picking favourites, Bear! I know you do, it’s alright! Because I’m your favourite.”

“I’m not taking the bait, dumbass.” They lightly shoved him and he shoved back.

“I can take it, tell me Silent Bob’s your favourite then!” Jay grinned, his cheeks aglow and his eyes sparkling.

“Oh, look, the doors are opening,” Bear pushed out into the hall, limping quickly toward their room while Jay strode along behind them.

“Shit, that looks bad, man… here,” as the two reached the door, Jay took out his room card and swiped it, opening the room for his partner.

“Thank you, Jay…” They crashed into the nearest chair and practically melted against it, sighing in the room’s AC while Jay closed the door behind him.

“Fuck, is there anything I can do for you? You want to smoke something??”

Bear stretched out his legs, studying the ceiling for a moment before looking back at Jay. “Well… there might be something you can help with. I know it’ll make you happy. Do you mind giving me a massage?”

Before he had even finished his sentence, Jay had knelt beside him and began untying his shoes. “Fuck yeah, I can do that, fuckbuddy. Damn, I wish I had some oil or something, we could make this really sexy.”

Bear rolled his eyes again and settled further into the chair, content to not think too hard about Jay soothing his sore muscles with his long hands. “Yeah, yeah… just start with the soles and work your way up, alright? My shoulders are pretty fucked, too…”

Jay nodded, settling into a cross-legged position beside their feet and taking one heel in his palm. He briefly glanced up at Bear’s already checked-out expression, shrugged to himself, and began pressing his knuckles into the tender flesh. Bear tensed briefly but didn’t ask Jay to stop. While it was by no means professional, it did feel good in a way.

“Shit, your feet are like blocks of concrete, man. One less thing to worry about if you ever get on the bad side of the mafia, I guess.” Jay commented as he moved on to the other foot. Bear tittered in response before tensing up again, leaning into the helpful pressure of Jay’s fingerpads.

“God, I needed this…”

“I’m gonna make you feel like a new man when I’m done.”

“Hell yeah--” They then groaned as their bones crunched in release.

“Haha, that feel good, gummy bear?~” Jay smirked as he moved on to stretching their ankles, standing to gently tug on their legs and drawing a borderline lewd sound out of them as their knee popped. They continued to mewl in relief as the door opened again, briefly glancing over as Silent Bob entered the room.

“Why’ve you got your eyes covered, Bobby?” They half-sighed in momentary confusion as the fingers parted, revealing Silent Bob’s beautiful brown eyes.

“Probably ‘cause he heard you fuckin’ moaning like a whore over here and thought I was doing that thing you like with my tongue.” Jay playfully flicked his tongue between his fingers before looking over at his friend. “Not like you haven’t seen ‘em naked before, y’know.”

“Yeah, but Bobby’s a gentleman,” Bear waved him over to squeeze his hand. “Didn’t want to barge in on us if you were telling the truth about taking me up to the room and fucking me, right?”

Silent Bob nodded in agreement before giving them a questioning look.

“Eh, I still feel like shit, but Jay’s doing alright. Is the signing done?”

He shrugged and nodded, more or less.

“Yeah? Well, somebody tell Banky that if he wants me to do this shit again, he owes me something. New shoes, at least-- agh, Jesus, fuck--! There it goes…” Bear melted as his other knee finally popped, practically slipping out of the chair.

“Alright! Hop up on the bed, Silent Bob can do your back.”

“Well, only if he wants to, Jay. Bobby, don’t let him make you feel as if you have to do everything he says.”

Silent Bob shrugged again with a content expression before patting the second bed. Bear sighed, pulling himself out of the chair before flopping down on his stomach.

“Hey, while you two are doing that, I’ll grab us some food, sound good?”

Both Bear and Silent Bob gave Jay quiet thumbs up as Silent Bob removed Bear’s shirt.

“You know what we like,” Bear hummed around the pillow under his chin. He listened as Jay dug around for his wallet for a moment before bidding them both goodbye and disappearing back into the hallway. Only then did Bear roll onto his back and look fondly up at Silent Bob. “Finally. Some alone time.” They pulled him close and sealed the gap between their lips.

[comiccrusaders]

Bluntman and Chronic by Michael Avon Oeming #comicart #comicbookart

[hologramcowboy]

For those that do not know what "snoochie boochie" means:

I had no clue about this catchphrase. It makes Jensen's post even sadder.

[slobfern]

im the smoker, bluntman

[nfcomics]

QUICK STOPS no.1 • cover art • John Sprengelmeyer [Nov 2022]

Enter the Askewniverse when pop culture nuisance Kevin Smith's brand-new anthology series opens for business, telling tall tales from the Jersey world of his classic comedies!

In this premiere issue, Chronic-Con guest of honor Holden McNeil tells Alyssa Jones and a packed podcast audience his story of going green with legendary loiterers Jay and Silent Bob in the Quick Stop cooler, and how it directly led to the birth of his Bluntman and Chronic comic books!

Black-and-white comics like the Clerks films.

More misadventures with Jay and Silent Bob!

Contains references to Kevin Smith's films like Clerks, Dogma, Chasing Amy, Mallrats, and Jay and Silent Bob: Reboot.

(W) • Kevin Smith • (A) • Jeremy Simser • (CA) • John Sprengelmeyer

[thatguy-thisguy-yourguy]

halloween themed headcanons with the clerks crew? 🎃

First Request!! I hope these suffice, I loved doing them!

Dante ~ Dante, when he’s not working, probably doesn’t do much. I imagine that he doesn’t want to go to work all day, only to come home and deal with kids asking for things. However, I do think he decorates the Quick-Stop in cheap Halloween decorations, like ghosts hanging from the ceiling and bats on the sale signs. I think he has puts “Happy Halloween” on the open sign and a ‘take one’ bowl of candy by the cash register as well. He’d probably put a sale on candy, and definitely sticks those stupid jelly stickers to the windows.

Randal ~ Randal definitely plays the most terrifying shit full blast on the TV in the video store. I’m talking Human Centipede and weird porn. He would absolutely put this clown decoration that I saw at Spirit Halloween in the bathroom. It’s a clown that opens his trenchcoat to reveal another clown named ‘Willy’ that makes dick jokes because he’s at crotch level. When people complain about it, Randal acts like he doesn’t know how it got there. There’d be a sale on horror movies too, but no candy bowl this time. Randal doesn’t seem like the type of guy to hand out candy. What if those kids are pricks? Horror movie marathon is the way to go.

Jay/Silent Bob ~ Well, besides Jay yelling “HAPPY HALLOWEED!!” at passersby, these guys dress up as Bluntman and Chronic, maybe even zombie versions if they feel like getting serious. All their weed is Halloween themed now and will “make you feel like you’re in michael myers house or some shit” and comes with a melty handful of candy, of course he says something along the lines of “Buy it…if you dare!!” Sales are not good at this time of year. The boombox plays nothing but Halloween music and Jay has mastered the dance to thriller. Lights their blunts in people's Jack o' lanterns

Becky ~ Hates cutesy Halloween things, surprisingly. She buys the most terrifying shit imaginable. More tricks than treats. Probably dresses as a witch while at work and gives those little mooby’s cow plushes costumes like an angel and a devil. She hands out candy to kids, and is pretty popular due to practically throwing the bowl at them once she’s sick of doing it. Carves the sickest jack 'o lantern you've ever seen I think it’s her favorite holiday because it’s one of the few that has nothing to do with spending time with the ones you love.

I don’t think Elias celebrates Halloween LMAO

[campyvillain]

The Middler and the Toker take on the Bluntman is this anything is this progress

this is the future

[chogrin]

@thatkevinsmith #GuruAskew art print & toys (Red-ible & Dope variants) now available at @unrulyind, @jayandsilentbob, and @jayandsilentbobstash. (Links in Bio) “Clerks” black & white variant of toy will be available this fall. #chogrin #chogrintoys #KevinSmithGuru #KevinSmithToys #MasteroftheAskewniverse #bongsaber #bluntman #silentbob #thatkevinsmith #jayandsilentbob #buddychrist #quickstopgroceries #moobys #clerks #smodcast #37 #kevinsmithcollection #sideshowartprints #gurutoyseries #unrulyindustries #kevinsmithanatomy #guruanatomy #anatomyofaguru #KevinSmithDissected #wakeandbake #blackandwhitefilm #90s #guruaskewanatomy #guruaskewprint (at Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash) https://www.instagram.com/p/CdLqhrgrwih/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[carterreviewsmovies]

Chasing Amy (1997) Review

Chasing Amy Directed by Kevin Smith

Year Released: 1997 Duration: 113 Minutes Filming Format: 16mm Video: Colour Audio: Stereo Language: English Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1

Joey Lauren Adams Marathon 2/3

Chasing Amy follows comic book artist, Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck), his best friend and partner, Banky Edwards (Jason Lee), and the alluringly modern and sexually liberated, Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams). Holden and Banky are the successful creators of the “Bluntman and Chronic” comic book starring Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) with a cartoon deal in the works. They are both introduced to Alyssa after helping their friend, Hooper X (Dwight Ewell) with a rather elaborate publicity stunt. Holden immediately takes to Alyssa, and she soon invites him out to a club. It’s then revealed, after she performs an intimate ballad, that Alyssa is gay. This shatters Banky’s worldview and crushes Holdens dreams of being with her. However, fuelled by a misguided lust, Holden continues to pursue Alyssa, putting strain on his and Banky’s relationship.

On my first viewing, I resented this film. It felt as though Kevin Smith had a surface understanding of sexuality and experimenting but chose to run full force as if he were an expert on the topic. However, after having some time to digest, read the essay included in the criterion release, and re-watch the film through a new lens, I can see the merit of Chasing Amy. Is it a flawed film? Definitely. Are the performances good? Joey Lauren Adams’ is. Does it have any value? Absolutely!

The film is, to Kevin Smith's admittance, pseudo-biographical about his relationship with the film’s co-star, Joey Lauren Adams, with Holden being a “generous” self-insert. It’s clear through Smith’s essay that he feels regret his reaction to Adams’s sexual past and has since learned from it. This revelation, however, is poorly portrayed. Holden is self-centred, shallow, misguided, and misogynistic, believing he can “change” a girl who has told him she’s gay. While this doesn’t end up being the full truth, it doesn’t change the fact that Holden was motivated by lust, not love, regardless of what he might say. He mistakes friendship for romance at every turn, even when firm boundaries are set for him. Even after making a highly inappropriate offer and having the situation explained to him clearly, Holden refuses to learn. However, the film does make some interesting remarks (mostly provided by Alyssa and Silent Bob) but unfortunately seems to contradict itself at every turn.

After the critical failure of Mallrats (1995), Smith said he wanted to make an honest film and he succeeded in that. Yet, Holden’s lack of accountability and sense of entitlement creates an entirely detestable and slightly disturbed protagonist. Perhaps Smith is apprehensive to show the world his softer side and admit he’s changed for the better, or maybe at the time he hadn’t learned his lesson. Either way, the film is an interesting expression of guilt, wrapped up in a 16mm package and signed with Joey Lauren Adams's sweet raspy voice.

-- Carter

[rock-holmes]

in my universe he owns a gay comic store and sells special editions of bluntman and chronic yaoi