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idk man. from 2008 to 2019 i was self-employed. i dropped out of high school in 2006 and then dropped out of college in 2010 and moved to a swamp to watch my great-grandma die because that was the only thing i could afford to do. then i went back to college and lived off student loans for a while. if i managed to scrape together $500 in a single month, that was a very good month. i applied for a gamestop credit card i shouldn't have qualified for and used it to buy taco bell gift cards for when i couldn't afford groceries, then paid a stupid amount of interest on the cost of my taco bell gift cards because i couldn't afford to pay off the balance.
during that period i bought over 2000 ebooks and 600 steam games. i like to believe that i'll read or play them someday. i probably won't, with most of them. but it was nice to have the option. i paid $10 a year for a domain name that did nothing but show a single image when you went there because i thought that was funny. i bought every sims expansion. i bought a ps4 and pretended i was in debt for a ps4 instead of taco bell gift cards and the sims. i barely ever played anything on the ps4, but it was nice to have the option.
when i got a part-time retail job in 2019 ($12 an hour! 20 hours a week!) i felt RICH. i was getting $200-$300 a week! that's so much fucking money! i was spending most of it on gas, and food that i could eat in a store break room without dying. but it was still so much money!! i paid off all my credit cards and then immediately ran them back up. i bought matching couches for me and my cat at tj maxx. i bought a ferris wheel for mini cupcakes. i bought cute dresses and shoes that i never had a chance to wear because the only time i went anywhere was to work, in my work uniform. i was 29 and that was the most money i had ever had in my life. now i'm 32 with a full-time office job and most of my money goes toward debt but the rest of it ends up being spent on dumb shit. every month i look at my budget and try to figure out where it all went wrong and every month the conclusion is, "spent too much money on dumb shit". you would think that i would try to stop doing that, and yet.
it's like. i was poor and now i'm lurking somewhere near the low end of middle class, and in both cases buying dumb shit was simultaneously proof that i would be rich if i could just stop buying dumb shit, and that i couldn't possibly understand true poverty if i was capable of buying dumb shit. i do not know how to explain to people that i will always waste more time and money than anyone ever should on dumb shit that i think is funny. there is nothing i want more than to spend my last dollar on a laugh and my last minute laughing, and no one's insistence that they would use them better will change this.
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fellow ds9 weirdos can anyone tell me if our guy Andrew Robinson is doing any upcoming conventions or if he like even does those these days. I've never like actively wanted to meet an actor before so idk how you find these things out. if he does do cons I will literally pay you money if you can tell me which ones. yes I am willing to pay actual dollars for this googleable info I'm not joking I have OCD and it prevents me from doing simple tasks sometimes can somebody please help me
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everytime i see 'a rental car takes a left down rake street and disappears' i always briefly go 'damn the rental car industry is in SHAMBLES' as if everytime you tag it ANOTHER rental car disappears. Absolute menace on the car economy
please god help us we are running out of rental cars!!! where are they all going!!!
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..... Despite not being the one who booked the flight and hotel, I am.... not very nervous (yet) about traveling tomorrow?
Ugh ugh pls let this carry forward and let me stay chill through the whole travel (and maybe trip)
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when will advertisers fucking realize that the problem isn't that they're not pouring enough money into ads but that the people who can't afford to opt out of ads can't afford to buy their products!!! you are wasting all of our time!!! you are wasting so much money!!! this is a net loss all around shut up shut up shut up!!!
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i feel like ive said this before, but having written a book and having something crazy/weird happen during it(snake ate my finger) has filled me with the insatiable need to know what weird events happened to authors while writing that technically have no bearing on the book whatsoever
also i so badly want to know if people can subconsciously realize "oh these are the chapters jordan wrote while recovering from the snake-ate-my-finger ordeal", just bc i think it would be hilarious if my writing style was indeed subtly different during that month
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I’m hardcore procrastinating organising my hiking trip by distracting myself. Went to the bookstore to buy a translation pocket book on the Portuguese language. While I should be figuring out whether I want to hike Spain, Slovenia, Georgia or save up for a more expensive but really cool trekking trip later this year in Latin-American Patagonia OR Central-Asia. :-)))
All I know is I want to go OUT in nature someplace they have mountains this springtime around. I wanna be on the move continually this year: nearby or faraway. I should just choose blindly and keep a focus. This is draining!
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