#borhap boys fanfiction

[hearts-hunger]

Just Wonderful You || Gwilym Lee x Reader

Summary: anonymous asked - ok my punk ass is so lonely and so single so. gwil thirst hours: you come home from work/school/etc with a headache and you're just in a shitty mood so gwil just like hugs you and murmurs sweet and comforting things in your ear and you start kissing which turns into making out and he winds up fingering you and just like talking softly in your ear encouraging you to let go and let him make you feel good and his voice is husky and thats the that on that

Pairings: Gwilym Lee x Reader

Word Count: 1k (it’s short i know i’m sorry)

Warnings: Smut, fingering (18+ only please!)

A/N: Oof nonnie what a good start to gwil thirst hours, such a great ask. I hope this is what you had in mind, love, and I hope you like it! ♡

“Sorry I’m complaining so much,” you say. “It’s just been a really long day.”

Gwil hums in agreement as he kisses your shoulder. He’s lying next to you on your bed, stretched out on his side as you curl up next to him, your back against his chest. Though you want nothing more than to just fall asleep like this,  your head is killing you and you can’t wind down from the anxiety of finals season that seems to bear down on you every waking second.

“Keep telling me about it if you want,” he says. “I don’t mind.”

You sigh. “I know, but I don’t want to bring my stress home. I just want to relax, but I can’t stop thinking about that stupid paper due Friday.”

He kisses under your ear. “Anything I can do?”

“Besides write it for me?”

He chuckles, his breath warm against your skin. “Besides that, yes.”

You shrug. “I don’t know.” You roll over and face him. “Maybe I should just take some Nyquil and knock out.”

His lovely hazel eyes study your face with affection and sympathy and a flicker of desire.

“Tell you what,” he says. “Why don’t we try a more natural remedy first?”

You feel yourself smirk. “A natural remedy, hm?”

He can’t help but smile at you. “It’s been said to cure headaches and relieve stress,” he says. “As well as help you get a better night’s sleep.”

“That’s all scientifically proven, right?” you tease.

His expression goes a bit more serious. “Yeah, actually,” he says. “There’s lots of research that says - ”

You shut him up with a kiss before he can lecture you about the science of sex, which you’re sure is a very interesting topic but one that could never hold a candle to actually making love with Gwilym Lee. He responds to your touch instantly, cradling your cheek in his hand as he takes over the kiss and deepens it.

“You’re doing all the work, though,” you say.

He grins. “My pleasure, love.”

You lay on your back as his hand moves downwards, grazing over your breast and sending a shiver through you. He splays his big hand over your stomach, sucking lightly just below your jaw.

“I love you,” he says. “I’m sorry you’re having a rough go.”

“I love you too,” you say, your breath catching a bit as his hand moves between your legs. He holds you there for a few seconds, his thumb running over your thigh. Even though the fabric of your sweatpants, his warmth is already making you wet. His fingers run up and down the seam between your legs, his touch deep enough to be felt but light enough not to give you the friction you crave.

“Just relax,” he coos, his hand moving to slip under your waistband. He teases you through your underwear, the fabric dampening under his skilled fingers. “Let me take care of you, love.”

You sigh against his mouth as he starts to rub circles against your clit, his movement slow and deliberate. You take a fistful of the comforter as your hips rise to meet him, your whole body thrumming with desire in response to him.

“Good girl,” he praises in a low voice. “What a good girl for me.”

You gasp as he pushes your underwear aside and draws his fingers through your folds, rubbing all the way down from your clit to your entrance.

“Gwil,” you say, desperate.

“Easy does it, love,” he says. He slowly pushes a finger in, his thumb still rubbing your clit. You push your hips against his hand, drawing him deeper, moaning with the feel of it.

“I want another,” you say. “Please.”

“Anything for you, love,” he says, catching your bottom lip between his teeth. Adding a finger, he slowly pumps in and out of you, taking his time drawing out your orgasm. He sets a steady pace, letting you move against him, capturing your gasps of pleasure as he kisses you. His beard rasps against your skin and you moan as he sucks love marks into your neck.

Your thighs squeeze together as you feel you orgasm building, your hips grinding against Gwil’s hand as he pumps his fingers faster. You grab his bicep to steady yourself, the wave building to a crescendo.

“Oh, god,” you gasp. Your hips arch upwards as he presses down on your clit, sending shocks of white-hot pleasure through you.

“Gonna cum, Gwil,” you say desperately. “Ah, ‘m so close.”

“Cum for me, love,” he says against your mouth. “Good girl. Let go for me.”

Groans and curses tumble out of your mouth as his words send you over the edge, riding out your orgasm on his fingers as he continues to pleasure you through it. You feel the tension in your whole body release as his fingers slow and you come down from your high.

You catch your breath as he pulls out of you, leaving you tender and absolutely spent. He kisses you gently and you melt into his touch, curling against him and feeling his warmth.

“Thank you,” you say.

He chuckles. “You’re welcome. Headache gone?”

“Mmh,” you manage. Residual pleasure ebbs through you, erasing all memory of the pain in your temples from earlier. “Tired me out, too.”

“I told you it’d work,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “It’s science, after all.”

“Shush with your science,” you say, knowing that all the science in the world couldn’t account for the way Gwilym loves you. He gives a soft laugh and kisses your cheek.

“It’s just you, Gwil,” you say. “Just wonderful you.”

forever taglist: @tv-saved-the-teenage-girl

[rogerina-yee-haw]

“thank u, next” prompts

hello there!! I’ve been listening to ariana grande’s “thank u, next” album non-stop and it really inspired me to do many things, so I decided to make a prompts’ list with the songs’ lyrics (lame idea lmao). sorry if this is cringy and sorry if somebody already came up with such a thing. 

I transformed the lyrics a bit btw!!

send me the number (or numbers) of prompts you want me to write with queen and/or borhap boys + lucy and priya!! feel free to reblog!!

I got a bad idea.

We'll get through this. We'll get past this.

Just wanna have a good time!

I thought that you were the one.

Sorry if I say sorry way too much.

I met someone else.

I'd rather be alone tonight.

At the end of the day, I'm about to wake up with you.

I knew you were perfect. Knew it after the first kiss.

I'm sorry, I gotta leave. Got somewhere else I gotta be now.

I wanna know how you taste.

Retail therapy my new addiction, I guess.

I admit that I'm a lil’ messed up.

I only hate on her 'cause I want you.

I read the things they write about me.

It ain't nothing wrong with saying I need me time!

Can you imagine it? 

I wish he were here instead.

How 'bout we take a little bit of time away? 

Bring you to the bed where we can really make it right.

I don't give no fucks.

Take it or leave it.

You can call me crazy 'cause I want you.

They say I move on too fast.

If I like it, then that's what I get.

I love too hard.

Time apart is beneficial.

Break up with your girlfriend.

I can't fake another smile.

I'ma call you over here to numb the pain.

I never thought you'd leave me.

I know it feels so good to be needed. 

What you want from me?

You only wanted half of me.

I know you hear me when I cry.

We havin' better discussions.

I can't promise you how I'll react.

I'll wait for you.

I know I shouldn't think about it. 

We can work it out.

It’s the life that I chose.

I thought that you were the one.

Wishin' you would come and save me. 

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again...over him.

This shit always happens to me.

yikes!!!! send me requests pls!!! 

[yournotsolocalcryptid]

If you are still doing the dialogue prompts could I be super annoying and say that I couldn't decide which ones I liked so I picked out a couple for two different types of fic, I need you to choose for me 😂 12 “Could you ever be happy with me?” 17 “Why are you looking at me like that?” For maybe angsty Billy/Four 20 “Oh, fuck” / 21 “Did you just moan?” 52 “You love me and want to have my babies, I get it” For fluffy friends to lovers with Ben?

I couldn’t decide so I’m doing both. the other one has been already been posted here

Prompt list: 55 dialogue prompts

Prompt(s): 12. “Could you ever be happy with me?”, 17. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Pairing(s): Billy/Four x GN!reader

Warnings: ANGST, mention/implied smut so 18+, fluffyish ending? maybe?, poor writing skills, poorly proofread and poor editing

Word count: 1.5k (I think this is the longest fic I've ever written?)

You had joined the team nearly a year ago and you’d been having the time of your life- or afterlife- ever since. You loved the team, Three made you laugh, two trained you in the gym, five and Seven were like siblings to you, One was like your grumpy yet funny uncle and Four… Four and you had a bit of a complicated relationship. He always seemed a bit distant, you’d see him laughing or chatting animatedly with some of the others and when you’d walk into the room he’d shut down or blatantly ignore you.

You two did have some good times, more than once you’d found him in the kitchen in the middle of the night with a beer and a snack (which incidentally was why you were there as well) and you guys would joke, laugh, tease and just generally have a grand time and then you’d end up bent over the kitchen counter while he slammed into you or with one of you on your knees making the other see stars. but the next day he’d be harsh, dismissive, or in full avoidance mode. You didn't expect him to be different or gentler with you as the sex was never romantic, it was always rough (and mindblowing), you didn't expect a fucking proposal or anything but his hostility irritated you, it made you so angry, but mostly, it just made you so fucking sad and you weren’t quite sure why.

You had no reason to be sad, you had no reason to be hurt by his actions you told yourself repeatedly but... he was so charming and funny and endearing, and that first kiss… you swore it started soft and sweet before it turned rough and sloppy but maybe you just imagined it. Maybe you just wanted to believe he was able to be soft and vulnerable. Either way, you had no reason to be sad so why was there a lump in your throat every time you thought about him?

So you would push down the sadness and act on your anger. You would avoid him harder than he was avoiding you, you would shoot him quick dirty looks and glares when you had to be in a room together and you’d work out harder than you usually did until you’d ultimately end up, once again cuming around his dick while he said the filthiest things in your ear. After the most recent night in the kitchen and Four hadn’t avoided you he just glared and pretend you weren’t there which was almost worse.

Now you were in the gym, beating the shit out of a punching bag, brows furrowed as you fumed about Four. you’d been there what must’ve been about an hour when the door opened and Four walked in. He froze for a moment in the doorway when he saw you, then continued to the other side of the room where he set his things down and wrapped his hands. Then he walked over to the bag next to yours and started punching. This made you angrier. You started punching and kicking the bag harder and harder until you exploded

“What the hell is wrong with you?” you yelled at him “genuinely what the fuck is wrong with you? Your distant, you’re nice, you fuck me, you hate me, you fuck me, you hate me, we get along, we fuck, you hate me! It’s the same fucking thing over and over again! And it’s fucking exhausting!”

Four had at this point, stopped boxing and was staring at you with a look you couldn't place.

“I don't know if you’re worried I’ll get attached if you’re nice to me after we fuck” you were no longer yelling but your voice was still harsh “or maybe you genuinely hate me and you’re only pretending to be nice to me so you can get laid” but even as you said it you knew that wasn’t the truth, you knew he was better than that “and after you’ve gotten what you wanted you can’t pretend any more but... this shit is exhausting” you tone had shifted again. The shouting had turned to a general accusatory harshness which had turned to a quiet voice cracked with emotion. “...I’m just so tired” and with that you turned and left, leaving the few things you’d brought down with you as Four just stood there, frozen.

You made your way to your room and took a shower, all the while willing yourself not to cry because, as you told yourself, you were angry, not sad. So there’s no reason to cry… right? After your shower, you immediately got into bed, wet hair and all, where you just stared numbly until you dozed off.

You were woken a few hours later, by the sound of your door being opened. You rubbed your eyes and sat up to see four standing in your doorway, his figure lightly illuminated by the lights in the hall.

“What do you want?” you asked wearily

He opened his mouth a few times as tho trying to figure out what to say but nothing came out.

You were watching closely trying to read his expression but you count even begin to know what he was thinking or feeling.

“Four?” you pushed

Still nothing.

“Billy?” you prodded quietly “what are you doing here?”

He said nothing. He just looked at you with such intensity but you still couldn't put your finger on what was going on in his head.

“Billy, Why are you looking at me like that?”

A a long beat of silence and then:

“Could you ever be happy with me?”

“What? I-” but you stopped at the look on his face. It had shifted ever so slightly and now it was as if you could read every thought and every emotion and it made the numbness you had forced yourself to feel fade away. It made you want to cry. You’d never seen him look this vulnerable. His eyes were wide and sad and scared, his lips were trembling slightly and his body language was hunched and fidgety. Memories of your first kiss, of the laughter and bonding you’d experienced with him all those nights in the kitchen, of the sex, swirled in your brain as you sat in your bed then, You stood, reached out, took his hand in yours and pulled him to you, engulfing him in a tight embrace. He was stiff in your arms unsure of what to do but desperate to give in and melt into your touch.

“Of course I could be. I would be” you said softly your lips just barely brushing his skin as you spoke and Billy finally gave in. His arms clutched you closer and you could feel him let out a big breath that neither of you had noticed he was holding.

“Then why aren’t we together?” he whispered into your shoulder, his voice cracking slightly “why did I push you away?”

That knocked the wind out of you. You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. Why did he sound so broken? Why did that question shatter your heart into a million little pieces? A tear finally slipped down your cheek.

“I-” you started “I don't know”

Billy pulled his face from your neck and looked into your eyes. One of his hands shifted to cradle your head and after a moment of silence he asked “can I kiss you?” he’d said it so quietly you could barely hear it. It was as tho he didn't want you to, as though he feared you’d say no or laugh in his face if you heard him. But you just nodded

His head dipped to meet yours in what was the most melancholy kiss either of you had ever experienced. Your arms shifted around his neck and his hands drifted to your waist as the kiss deepened. Both you and he were lost in each other, from the minute your lips met. When you broke apart his forehead rested on yours and you both just stood there in silence, both afraid to ruin the moment and neither sure of what to say or do next. This was completely uncharted territory for you both. After a while, you gave him a quick sweet kiss, pulled out of his arms, climbed back into bed, and looked at him expectantly.

“Well?” you asked

“Well… what?”

“You coming?”

“what?” he was so unsure of himself within this moment that nothing was making sense.

You rolled your eyed at his cluelessness and reached out to him with grabby hands

“Oh.. yeah” he climbed into bed with you and You both fidgeted and shifted until you were comfortable in each others arms.

After a few minutes of silence, you said “Billy?”

He hummed in response

“If you ever treat me like that, if you ever hurt me like that again, I’m gone”

He placed a kiss on your forehead and said “as you should be”

writing taglist: @transeliot

if you'd like to be added or removed from my writing tags just lemme know :)

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Domestic life; Ben Hardy x reader

*Author’s note*

Here is a cute little drabble request I got from my Wattpad account, I had hoped to have also posted this yesterday but oh well (I mean the fic doesn’t really revolve around Valentine’s day but it’s still fluffy enough to be counted as such). So enjoy this sweet little drabble. 

Warnings: Fluffy till your teeth rot. Lockdowns due to COVID (BUT THAT’S IT. Just the word and mention of just lockdowns in general).

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@queensdivas

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

@wormzteef

@geek-and-proud​

@queendeakyy​

__________________________________________________________

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, even though I didn’t want to.  My arms raised over my head as I let out a tired groan and stretched myself out and let out a soft yawn.  I then looked over to my left and saw the man of life sleeping right beside me.  His golden locks looked like a halo under the rare chance we had a sunny day in London.

His tattoos exposed from his nightshirt, my favorite of course being his lion nose and mouth tattoo.  Those soft cute snores that came off his lips (even though he tries to deny it), and his chest slowly rising and falling with each breath he took. I raised my hand up and couldn’t help but lightly stroke the shape of his tattoo, very faintly tracing the curve of the nose, sliding my finger down the straight line before swaying across the bottom curve of the mouth.

“You know we could get you a matching set.” Ben’s sleepy baritone voice spoke up.  I looked up at him and said.

“If we did it’d have to be washable. You know how I am around needles.” He chuckled softly and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in closer.  “Did you sleep good?”

“I slept great. You?”

“Like a rockfish.” He placed a kiss to my forehead and we just looked into each other’s eyes.  “So what shall it be today?”

“Well you know WandaVision premieres today so wanna check it out?”

“I still can’t believe you made me binge the entire MCU movies during our lockdown.”

“And you loved it admit it. Hell Benny boy you were in the Marvel Universe. Granted it was solely owned by Sony before Disney bought the rights but it’s still the Marvel fandom.”

“So after that, then what shall we do?”

“Well we really can’t go anywhere so……wanna just have a lazy day in? No work out day, order take out for our three meals and maybe—fool around?” I teased with a wink.

“You are a cheeky mix.” He then captured my lips with his.

“Yes but—you did asked me to marry you. Which I’m surprised by the way.”

“What do you mean?” he asked as he began to kiss down my neck.

“Don’t act stupid Ben. I know about that affair with Joe and your little side hustle with Gwil. I swear it’s like I married 3 men instead of 1.”

“You knew what you were getting yourself into when you agreed to marry me.” He said as he hovered over me.

“Yes I know.” He chuckled as he pecked my lips. Then again, and again and again. I giggled and playfully pushed him off of me and said. “Alright you human golden retriever.”

“You know that if I were going to be a dog, I’d be a beagle like Frankie.”

“Nah you’re a golden retriever. Silly, goofy, and loving all the way.” I bopped his nose before getting up and headed downstairs to let Frankie out into the backyard to go pee.

As soon as she saw me, she got out from her bed and I greeted her with a ruffle and scratch on her head.

“Hey there baby girl, ready for breakfast?” her head cocked to the side as her tail began wagging softly. “Come on let’s have breakfast.” She got out of her bed and trailed me to the kitchen.  I reached in and grabbed her dog food and dumbed a good amount into her dog bowl and she immediately started scarfing it down.

I began preparing breakfast and as I cracked the last egg, I felt Ben’s arms wrap around me and felt a kiss at my temple.

“You make the best omelets ever.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” I teased him.

“Who says I’m trying to flatter you? I’m stating pure fact.” I smiled at him.

“Well how about you give me a hand here instead of just standing there looking pretty.” He chuckled softly and saluted to me.

“Just tell me what to do Captain.” I then told him what to give me next and I proceeded to finish making the omelets.

Once they were done, Ben and I went over to the living room and I started up Disney+ to play the first 2 episodes of WandaVision.

“Okay so remind me again, is this before or after Endgame?” asked Ben.

“I wanna say this is after Endgame. Again I’ve been a little confused as to the timeline or what exactly is the time period here. All I know is that it’s like a sitcom now. And I can see that they’ve definitely gotten the exact cinematography down. You see how it’s a full screen and them using a single camera.”

“God I love it when you talk cinematography like that.”

“Sorry if I come across as annoying while we watch this.”

“No, no, no, no, no it’s fine. Really. It means you’ve got a good eye for camera angels. Remember when Dexter allowed you to film us when we were doing the We will rock you scene?”

“It was only for 10 minutes while he went to talk with the costuming department and to get him his 10th cup of coffee.”

“Still, he was amazed at the fact you helped with blocking and what you had already filmed. So much so we had it in the film.” I softly smiled and we continued to watch the episode, then watched the second one.

As the day went on, Ben and I kept watching various films as well as taking Frankie out for her walks.  The sun was just starting to set and Ben said.

“Alright one last movie of the day, I feel like if I keep eating more popcorn I won’t be able to fit into these sweats anymore.”

“I wouldn’t mind that. Whether you have a 6 pack or a bit of a pooh bear tummy, I’d love you either way.” He blushed at my compliment and scrunched himself into a ball as I poked his tummy.

“Alright so what shall our last movie be tonight?”

“Well, how about we do Gwil’s movie Top End Wedding?” Ben pondered before saying.

“Okay. Any reason why?”

“Well I—he and I may have talked about that shortly after it came out and I might have told him I’d already seen it when actually I didn’t.” I wearily said.

“Oh I see so you-you lied to my best mate about a movie he was in and wanted your opinion on.”

“Oh coming from you Mr. Oh yes I’ve drummed since I was 12!” I sassed back at him.  He shushed me and covered my mouth with his hand.  I pushed his hand away from my mouth and said. “So can we watch it? I’ve been busy and you know it.”

“Yeah I know love, you know I was just teasing.” He wrapped his arm over my shoulder and switched over to Hulu now and we found Gwil’s movie.  I’ll admit it took me by surprise (I mean based off the trailers I’ve seen it pretty much told the whole story) but the humor and message it sent out really spoke volumes that no other romcom has ever done before.

Plus the aerial shots were just amazing.  The way the cameras would pan over the river or the ridges, you can’t fake that breathtaking view with CGI.  After the movie was over, I let out a soft yawn.

“You tired?” questioned Ben.  I nodded, barely able to keep my eyes open any longer. “Alright, come on then you. Let’s get you into bed.” I moaned softly and held my arms out.

“Carry me.” I heard him chuckle but I felt him lift me up in his arms bridal style and he carried me all the way to our bedroom.

He set me down on the bed and cuddled up close to me before putting the duvet over us.  I automatically placed my head over his chest and placed my arm over his stomach while his arms came around me.

“I had fun today.” I said as I nuzzled into his chest.

“Me too. It’s nice to just kick back and relax for the day. Thank you babe.”

“Anything for my handsome boy.” He kissed the top of my head and soon the two of us cuddled closer (even though I don’t know how much closer we could be at this point) to one another till finally we fell fast asleep.

[thosequeenboys]

Get Down, Give Joy Queen-BoRhap Gift Exchange: Info & Registration

We (@thosequeenboys - Stef and @warriorteam1924​​ - Kate) are excited to end 2020 positively by sponsoring a Queen-Borhap Gift Exchange, which we’ve named “Get Down, Give Joy.”  We think Freddie would like the title-and the spirit it represents.  

This event is for EVERYONE:  those who have never created and those who create regularly; blogs with 5 followers and blogs with thousands; fans who post often and those who seldom or never post; folks who’ve been fans for decades and those who just joined the fandom.  The event focuses on creativity, inclusivity, community-building, friendship and fun!  Thanks for reblogging this message-even if you don’t plan to join!

To participate, please complete THIS SURVEY by Sunday, October 11th to provide information about gifts you’d like to give and receive. 

Please read the information below the cut if you plan to participate.

We aim to send your match to you by the end of October/early November. Creators will post gifts December 20th - 23rd.  Contact us any time with questions/concerns.

We hope the creative and gift gifting processes provide well-deserved happiness to all fandom members who participate-and all who enjoy their creations.  Thanks for your efforts to help the event be successful!

Love & Hugs, Stef and Kate

Thank for participating in the Get Down, Give Joy Queen-Borhap Gift Exchange.  We put together these tips to help you enjoy the event - and help the event be successful.  Reach out to us any time with questions/concerns.

Complete the survey thoroughly:  Please indicate your preferences about what you’d like to create and receive. We ask if you are 18 or over so we can ensure that any 18+ content requests are assigned appropriately.  Providing details in the survey will help the matching and creative processes.

Stay updated: Feel free to follow us (@thosequeenboys @warriorteam1924). We will use the hashtag #getdowngivejoy when posting about the event.   

Communicate with your partner:   We strongly suggest you turn on your ANON ASK so creators can use it (with a dedicated emoji if they wish) to find out about their recipient’s interests, preferences, etc. to help create a special gift.  Gift Recipients:  Please check your inbox often and respond to your giver’s asks as soon as you can to help their creative process. 

Use Read More:  Please insert a Read More early in written work to encourage reblogging.  If your gift contains (requested) 18+ content, please give that warning -- and put that content below the Read More cut.

Post your gift on your blog between Dec. 20th - Dec. 23rd: If you’re not able to meet this time frame, please let us know as soon as possible so we can communicate with your recipient to avoid disappointment.  

Tag!! Be sure to tag your receiver (@blog name in the post intro). You may also send an ask telling the receiver their gift is posted. Use the hashtag #getdowngivejoy - and any other hashtags you wish.  Feel free to tag us (@our blog names); we’d be delighted to see your creations!! 

Ask for Help:  If you want to bounce around ideas, we are happy to chat with you.  If you aren’t able to finish the event, please let us know as soon as possible so we can ask a pinch hitter to assist-and let your receiver (and creator) know.  Also, if you would like someone to beta read your work, please let us know!  Folks are available to help!

Volunteer to Help (if you can): Please note in your survey If you’d like to serve as a pinch hitter and/or beta reader-or message us.  We’ll contact you if we receive a request.  Thank you!!

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Have fun!  

[eunoiaths]

no one is alone

joe mazzello x fem!reader

word count: 1.1k

warnings: panic attack, heavy angst, fluff, SONDHEIM— it’s cute i promise— joe is the sweetest thing in this one!

summary: joe is off filming in another country, and the unsettlement strikes you at an ungodly hour.

a/n: you asked for a soulmate au, and i’m feeding you something that is NOT that. you’re welcome!

there was something about early hours of the morning. the setting was quiet and settling; calm and comfortable. the warmth of cotton sheets covered your body at most times, pushing out fear— an anxious mindset. but, right now, early hours felt different.

they awoke your thoughts, eating at your mind. a hunger for a better feeling was numbed. you felt little to no warmth; just cold feet and an unmotivated feeling to fix the problem. your mind was consumed by loneliness, with the thought of a half-empty bed. everything was half-empty; wine glasses, pill bottles, and hating to say it: your heart. you missed joe, and you missed not feeling so lost without him, but now you were desperately craving his touch. a tear traced your cheek, and another, then another.

why the hell were you crying?

you two had addressed that he’d be gone for awhile. work was going to get in the way, and it hadn’t bothered you before, so why were you upset? and out of all times, why at one in the morning? joe was probably fast asleep right now. only one thought entered your mind: was he thinking of you too? you assumed no. no he wasn’t.

two hours passed and you were miserable. tears stained your wet, red cheeks, while your nose was stuffy and eyes were swole. you couldn’t get ahold of yourself, and you felt that it was no use trying to anyway. if you cried more, looking any worse was practically impossible. you picked up your phone, dialing your finger on ten keys counted, sniffling slightly. it rang for eternity— at least that’s what it felt like. the low drone was the only thing you could hear.

“h-hello?”

you stifled a breath, not expecting an answer. joe’s voice was already a comfort to your breakdown, as groggy as it was.

“joe.” you managed to get out, letting a held back sop escape your lips

“y/n? love- what’s wrong?”

you held your breath, trying to keep in your cries. joe seemed wide awake now, and it was your fault that he was.

“what’s wrong, baby? you can talk to me, i promise. take some deep brea-“

“i miss you.” you said softly, obviously shaken up, “i feel so- so alone.”

you could hear him sigh over the phone.

“a-and i’m sorry for bothering you at this hour. i know it’s-“

“y/n...”

“i know it’s early and you’d love your rest. i should just-“

“y/n.”

“i should just hang up, right? because i’m just bothering you, and you need sleep, so i’ll go now-“

“y/n!” joe cut you off, silencing your rambling, “don’t hang up. it’s okay, i miss you too.” he paused for a moment, “god, i miss you so much, baby. i’m falling into pieces here, alright?” nothing came from your mouth except a few dry inhales. you shut your eyes tight, tears dropping your fingers that lay there, shaking on the bed.

“y/n, are you alright?”

you were the problem.

“love, please answer me.”

he was suffering because of you.

“please- please say something, y/n.”

it was your fault.

“give me sign that you’re okay. you need to be okay.”

your breathing soon grew out of control, until you were full on hyperventilating. you swiped your finger on the speakerphone key, before dropping you phone from your hands. they couldn’t manage to do anything but shake at this point, as well as your body. you slumped down with your head buried into your knees; your spine hit the backboard of your bed frame. joe’s constant reassurances were backfiring in your current mindset, shooting straight passed you.

you finally were able to hold your breath, and everything went silent. it was a pain, but it was embarrassing for him to hear you be hysterical. joe’s caller ID still set a soft glow on your face. all hope felt deeply lost in the moment. you curled up on your side, holding a pillow to your chest, staring off in the still room.

“mother cannot guide you...”

you perked up, startled by your boyfriend’s dazed voice.

“-now you’re on your own.”

and then you realized: he was singing to you.

“only me beside you... still you’re not alone.”

for the first time in hours, you cracked a soft smile. joe’s voice wasn’t the best— knowing it was three in the morning— but it was comforting.

“no one is alone-”

“truly.” you mumbled

“no one is alone...” he whispered

the moment held you in a calm state. your breathing slowed and your eyes dried. in time— as he kept singing— you closed your eyes, listening; that was your song. the song he sang you to sleep with, or when he thought you were asleep, (in reality, you were awake every minute of it). that was the song his mother sang to him as a child, what he sang to you in times of fear, what he’d sing to your kids.

“witches can be right, giants can be good... you decide what’s right,”

there you were, restless, silly ideas popping into your head.

“you decide what’s good.”

joe was yours, you were his. in this instant, you knew that. and not just halfway, like wine glasses, pill bottles, your heart. you knew it was full, the truth.

“maybe we forgot, they are not alone-“

“-someone is on your side.” you muttered

you could imagine the grin plastered on his face, and there was one there, even if it was thousands of miles away. it was there, and that was all that mattered to you.

“no one is alone...” joe sang, finishing the final lyric. things were hushed for a few seconds, leaving you with a warm feeling inside.

“you’re an awful sing-”

“i love you.”

your eyes widened, “you do?”

“i love you, y/n.”

your heart stopped. he’d never said that before, neither had you. your doubts melted away, leaving you speechless for several moments. you finally smiled sleepily, taking a breath, “i love you too, joe.”

“thank god. leave me hanging, why don’t ‘cha?” he joked, “get some rest, my love.”

“goodnight, joey.”

“goodnight, y/n.”

after hours of distress, you eventually lulled into a sleep with the comfort of joe’s steady breathing on the phone. miles away, he still managed to help you feel like you mattered. to help you feel better.

[brittabuzzkillperry]

It’s a METAPHOR Brian

[mrsalwayswritex]

All His Fault

/Gif not mine

a/n: So here we go, this took me so long but im very happy with it! Not a reader insert, but an OC of sorts.

warnings: mentions of past abuse, nothing too graphic but its still there.

word count: 8k (whoa buddy.)

Enjoy!

He had been awake for hours trying to get his apartment clean. Ben was flying in today and Joe had offered up his spare room for while he was here, he simply couldn’t let his best friend stay in a hotel! Checking his watch, he sent Ben a text telling him that he had a few things to do that day but that the door would be open for him when he arrived. Taking another look around the room he sent out another text, to his oldest friend, Casey. He sent a similar message to her, stating that the door was open whenever she was ready to stop by, that he had to leave shortly.  Not waiting for a message from either of the two, he grabbed his jacket and out the door he went.

-

Casey shivered slightly when she entered Joe’s apartment, the warmth on her skin making her sigh happily. Closing the door behind her softly, she kicked off her ratty sneakers by the door. Shuffling inside, headed straight to the kitchen where she found a coffee mug sitting beside the machine, a note with her name on Joe’s messy handwriting say atop the cup. She grabbed it with a smile before flipping it open, a twenty dollar bill falling out of it.

Case,

 Lucy has clothes for you at her place, so when you are done here head there and Gwil will be escorting you, this is for a bus to Lucy’s. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you today, but know that I am so proud of you! Enjoy the coffee. It’s already perfect, just press the button, and there is food in the fridge.

Love you Case, 

Joe.

She smiled slightly as she ran her fingers over the writing. Joe had been Casey’s oldest friend, going all the way back to the sandbox, memories you don’t ever forget. Putting the sweet note into her pocket, she pressed the button and the machine came to life, filling the room with the smell of the dark roast that she loved. Deciding that a shower was more important, she touched the refrigerator lightly and set the money beside the machine, before heading to the bathroom where a towel was already set out for her.

She tried to avoid the mirror, but something inside her made her look. Her hair was ratty and matted, her eyes sunken and dark. Sighing slightly as she ran her fingers over the bruise on her jaw, only a little yellow now. The split in her lip had all but healed by now, only looking like a pale pink scar. She kept her eyes locked on the mirror as she started to undress, seeing more fading bruises all over her torso, all at various stages of healing. It’s hard to believe that after two weeks she could still see the evidence of what had happened. 

Willing herself not to cry, she turned away from the mirror and slid out of the dirty jeans she had been in for days. After turning on the water, she tried to run her brush through her hair, but the bristles couldn’t work their way through the clumps, so she gave up. When she stepped into the steaming water, she finally let herself fall apart. Tears streaming down her face as she let the water wash them away the moment they fell. How did I get here? Why me? What did I do that was so wrong that I deserve this? The questions slammed into her head before she could stop them. She shook her head quickly and sniffled a little, standing up a little straighter. You know what would help? Whiskey. “No.” She finally spoke out loud, as if her mind was actually able to respond to her. Whiskey wouldn’t help her, it would make things worse, and she knew it. 

She stomped her foot lightly in the water, smiling lightly as the puddle that was forming. She grabbed the shampoo and started lathering it into her tangled hair as best as she could, before rinsing it and repeating the same process. When it came to the conditioner, she worked it into the mattes in her hair gently before grabbing the brush and fighting through them once more. Tying up her conditioner filled brushed hair into a bun at the base of her neck she grabbed for the washcloth and the small bottle of body gel that Joe had obviously bought just for her. She would have to think of a way to thank him for being so nice to her, though she couldn’t help but think it had nothing to do with being friends, and more to do with pity. Casey hated being pitied. She knew that she was pathetic for putting up with her husband as long as she did, but she was accepting her failure and was now working to become stronger.

Halfway through rinsing her finally clean skin under the spray of the water, she heard the front door. She tensed up, before chuckling humorlessly at herself. He wouldn’t be here, he can’t hurt you. She thought softly before relaxing slightly into the water again. It was probably just Joe coming back.

-

When Ben walked into the apartment, he smiled looking around Joe’s place. It was just like him, classic and homey. Taking a deep breath in, Ben’s mouth watered at the smell of the strong coffee, and practically floating towards it like they would in an old cartoon. When he saw the mug sitting next to the machine, he smiled again, Joe was so nice to him. He began to make his cup of coffee when he heard the shower running. Perfect time to scare him. Ben snuck his way across the floor to the bathroom door, gripping the handle quietly. “JOE!” He shouted as he opened the door quickly, but the sound that came from behind the curtain was anything but a man’s scream. Joe would have told me if he had a lady friend in the apartment. Ben realized to himself as a face poked out of the shower curtain.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” The woman shouted, holding the curtain close to her chest. Ben instantly turned around, shielding his eyes.

“Who the fuck are you?” He shouted back at her.

“Who are you?” Both of them were just shouting at each other at this point and it seemed like either of them were going to get the answers they needed to understand the situation.

“You know, I told Joe that leaving his door unlocked in New York would let the street rats in.” Ben grumbled as he noticed the dirtied clothes littering the bathroom. He slammed the coffee mug onto the counter and spun around to face the strange woman. “So what? You just snuck in here and decided to take yourself a quick shower while no one was here? Did you think you wouldn’t get caught?” He took a step closer to the shower.

“What? No-” Casey started to laugh but Ben cut her off with a wave of his hand.

“You need to leave.”

“Just let me-” She started again but again, Ben was quick to stop her.

“No, out.” Ben stood his ground firmly, crossing his arms.

“Can you just wait a goddamn minute?” Casey snapped, who was this guy and why did he think that he could kick her out? This was Joe’s place, she had been invited, and yet this strange blond man with a thick accent thinks he can just waltz in here and start barking orders. All of that changed when she saw the twitch in his arm, quickly grabbing at the shower curtain and ripping it away from her.

“OUT!” He shouted at her, and she hated that she flinched away. She hated that she couldn’t stand up to this stranger. She hated that she cowered against the back wall of the shower as he threw her dirty clothes at her. She hated him.

With treacherous tears trying to squeeze their way out of her eyes, she picked up her clothes already soaked from the shower and with a soft whimper she pulled the wet jeans over her wet legs.

“If you just let me-”

“I don’t care!” Ben snapped at her, and she flinched away again. Ben felt guilty for only a second at being so mean to this stranger, but how dare she think she can just break into his friend’s house while he was out? Who did she think she was? 

Casey sniffled, and avoiding eye contact with the man, something else she hated, something else he had taken away from her, she gathered her shirt and bra, covering her chest with them as she ran out of the room. Shoving her bra into her bag and quickly pulling on her shirt, she grabbed for her coat as Ben was rounding the corner.

“Would you just leave already?” He shouted again, and this time she let out a choked sob, not even putting her shoes on as she ran out the door, slamming it behind her. “Come to New York, he said, It’ll be fun, he said.” Ben muttered mockingly as he took an angry sip of his coffee before plopping onto the couch. “Bloody hell.”

-

Casey made it down to the front lobby of Joe’s building and only then did she stop long enough to slip her bare feet into her shoes. Wiping at her face quickly, she saw that there were quite a few people staring at her. Head down, she tightened her light jacket and she ran out into the crowded sidewalk and shivered from the cold. Joe! He would be able to explain who that was and why he was kicking her out! She patted her jacket pocket, curing herself when she realized that she had left it in the apartment. Looking back up towards the building, she realized it wasn’t worth talking to that horrible man again, not that he would believe that it was hers anyways.

Cursing herself again for not grabbing a heavier coat, she pulled the light windbreaker tighter to her body and started walking to Lucy’s, maybe Lucy would let her finish her shower too. Hiking her backpack up her shoulder more, she fought through the crowd, enjoying the slight body heat she stole from strangers as she passed them. Had Casey had her phone, she would have gotten the text from Lucy saying that she wasn’t going to be home, to use the key under the mat. But here she was, almost two hours later, standing outside of Lucy’s building, when she heard a voice behind her. 

“You have got to be kidding me! Twice in one day? Go beg somewhere else.” The blond from earlier spit from behind her, making Casey tense.

“My friend lives here, she’s supposed to be giving me something.” Casey explained softly, not looking man in the eyes. “I’m not breaking into anywhere.”

“Whatever. I’ll be sure to let the building manager know that the street rats are begging around his building, maybe your friend will also be removed.” He scoffed at her, slamming the car door and walking into the building himself. Casey waited outside for a few moments as to not have to ride the elevator with the beast of a man she had to encounter twice in one day. Once she felt enough time had passed, she made her way through the front doors, heading straight to the stairs, taking them two by two until she reached the right door. Walking into the hallway that housed Lucy’s apartment, she reached the door with a skip. 

Casey had gotten along with Lucy the moment that Joe had introduced them just two weeks ago, Lucy taking the battered girl under her wing and giving her the clothes she was currently wearing. Casey couldn’t believe that Joe had such nice friends, like Lucy and Gwilym, who were so eager to help her. Gwilym was supposed to be picking her up to take her to the courthouse today, and as much as Casey wished it was Joe who would be there for her, she accepted the help with only a small fight. Casey smiled at the flowery door mat that Lucy had in front of her door, knocking on the door lightly.

Casey’s smile fell quickly when the person who answered the door was not, in fact, Lucy, but instead it was the cruel blond man again. Shit. “Jesus christ.” He breathed out, rolling his eyes. “You have a friend here? Lucy is your friend?” Casey nodded her head, but when she couldn’t look the man in the eye he scoffed. “Sure she is. I’m sure that you know Joe as well yes?” When Casey nodded her head again, the man let out a dark laugh. “I’m sure someone like you knows Joe and Lucy. Let me guess, you’re also close friends with Rami and Gwil? The whole bloody cast of a movie I’m sure you’ve seen posters for. But you don’t know me? Likely. Go, before I call the cops.” Ben slammed the door in the girls face and she crumpled to the floor in a heap. Why today of all days. Since she had no phone, she wasn’t able to contact anyone, and she knew that no one would let someone who looked as she did now, use theirs.

Pulling herself off of the floor, she cursed herself again for leaving the money Joe had left her on the counter, and also for not drinking the coffee before she had tried to shower. Looking at the clock, 9:28, she had barely two hours left until she was due in court and there was no way of getting ahold of Gwilym to pick her up, so she had no choice but to talk all the way across town. No sense in feeling bad for yourself, Casey, you should have spoken up when he found you in the shower. She thought to herself darkly, hating her ex-husband for taking away her ability to speak freely. She was always so afraid of the wrath of a man, and she hated herself for it. She hated the person she had become.

Casey walked quickly back the stairs and ran down them and straight out the door, stopping only to dig through her pocket to see that she only had three dollars to her name. Not enough for a cab across town. She took off at a sprint as she ran towards her destination as fast as she could. Praying she could get there in time.

-

Looking at the large clock in the center of the courthouse building, Casey again, dropped to the ground. She had made it, but not in time. 12:03. She was a half hour late, but she had to try. She ran as fast as her tired legs would take her up the front steps, until she ran into him. 

“You look like a mess, Casey. What could you not pull yourself out of the bottle long enough to make yourself presentable and make it here on time?” The man she used to love glared down at her. “You thought that you could beat me, but guess what?” He leaned down and grabbed her by the chin, she pulled her head away but he was quicker, trapping her jaw in his grasp. He brought his face next to her, in a manner that people would have thought intimate, though the venom in his words betrayed that. “You will never win, she is mine now.” He whispered darkly in her ear and she let out a sob.

“You can’t take her away from me.” Casey whispered as she looked into the man’s eyes as he smiled, “Please.” The tears flowed freely down her face as she gripped his arm. “John, please. At least let me see her?” She asked, already knowing the answer. 

“You want to see her like this? You’re pathetic, Casey.” He scoffed, pushing her jaw away from him, scoffing as she stumbled to the ground. “You’re drunk now aren’t you?”

“I swear I’m not! I haven’t drank in months, and you know that!” Casey cried, pushing herself to her feet. “John, please, you know that you are only doing this to hurt me. You know how hard I’ve been working at this, you just want to punish me because I left.” Casey grabbed at his arm again, but John pulled it away quickly.

“You tried to take her from me, and you know I don’t like when people try to take things from me, Casey.” He brushed his hand over his sleeve, as if Casey touching it would ruin the fabric. “Go back to your street life, that you seem to enjoy more than your life with us.”

“No one hits me on the street, John! No one threatens my daughters life in the street! No one to smack me around when dinner is served at exactly seven oclock!” Casey screamed at him, making more than one person look at the couple. John hissed and grabbed her arm tightly as he pulled her closer to the building.

“You’ve lost your chance to prove that, Casey. You couldn’t be bothered to show up today and she will know that. She will know that you left her in that house.” John whispered to her, but she could hear the threat in his voice. “That you left her with me.” He gave her a wicked smile. Casey sobbed as her legs gave out beneath her and John let her arm go so she fell into a heap. “Enjoy your street life, Casey.” John straightened out his collar before dropping a twenty dollar bill in front of her. “I don’t want to see you again.” He didn’t even look back at her as he walked away, leaving her a sobbing mess.

-

“Hey Benny!” Joe shouted as he got back to his apartment, finding it empty. He walked around a bit, seeing the wet floor of his bathroom but the towel still folded on the counter where he left it. “Casey?” He yelled, walking into the kitchen to see the note was gone but the money remained, next to Casey’s phone. He had bought her the phone when she left her husband, and she always had it on her. When he clicked the home button, he saw that she had many missed calls, one from himself, one from Lucy and five from Gwil. Pulling out his own phone, he called Gwilym first.

“Hey buddy, how did it go today? Casey left her phone here.” Joe asked as soon as he heard the line pick up.

“I honestly don’t know, she never responded to my calls.” Gwils voice rang through the speaker and Joe’s heart dropped. “I sat outside Lucy’s place for a while and I only saw Ben leaving.”

“Oh! Maybe Ben took her then!” Joe smiled to himself. 

“No, he was alone, and he was grumpy and didn’t even say hi to me.” Gwilym huffed.

“Let me give him a call, I’ll let you know what I find out. Later!” 

“See ya soon.” Gwil promised and then they both hung up, Joe was quick to dial up Ben’s number, not feeling surprised when he heard bar noises when the Brit answered the phone.

“Ben! Hey where are you?” Joe pocketed Casey’s phone and pulled his coat and scarf back on.

“Pub by your place, mate, what’s up?” Joe smiled at the man’s slightly slurred voice.

“Headed to you, buddy, sit still.” Joe ended the call and he was back out into the hallway, headed down the block to Ben.

-

When Joe entered the room, Ben was quick to jump on him laughing deeply. “It’s good to see you man!” He shouted over the music. Joe gave the man a strong hug and clapped his hand on his back.

“Good to see you too! How was the flight?” Joe asked, taking the beer that Ben was offering, laughing at Ben’s eye roll. “That good huh?” He laughed.

“The flight was fine, but when I got to your place, there was someone in the apartment, so I yelled a bit and kicked them out. You really shouldn’t leave your door unlocked, mate.” Ben chuckled lightly, taking a sip of his beer.

“Wait, there was a woman in my apartment so you yelled at her to leave?” Joe asked, dumbfounded. He rubbed his hand down his face and pulled his phone out.

“Well yeah, she was dirty, man. You should have seen her.” Ben scoffed.

“You had no right to do that, Ben. What the fuck?” Joe stood quickly, turning and running out the door. Ben slapped down a few bills and ran after him.

“What happened? What did I do wrong?”

“You’re an asshole, that’s what you did wrong.” Joe muttered as he dialed quickly. “Lucy? Did she stop there?” Joe was staring at Ben, and he noticed when his eyes went wide.

“I had told her I wasn’t going to be home, but I left the key. The clothes I had for her are still in the closet.” Lucy’s voice rang through and Ben rubbed his hand over his head and sighed deeply.

“It’s alright, Luce. I think Ben knows something, I’ll call you back.” Joe’s eyes bore into Ben’s as he shoved the phone into his pocket.

Ben lit up a cigarette and started pacing back and forth in front of Joe as he told him the whole story, from the beginning, Joe’s face getting angrier by the second. He told Joe about the shower, and about threatening to call the police at Lucy’s, and all Joe asked was “What time was that?” When Ben answered that it was around 9:30, Joe snapped. 

“Goddamnit, Ben! That was hours ago!” He shouted, making Ben flinch slightly. “That dirty woman you kicked out was my best friend Casey. She had some place to be today and she didn’t make it to any of the check in’s that I set up for her. She left her phone at my place next to the cash I was giving her to get to the courthouse.” Joe locked his fingers behind his head as he paced. “I’ve got to find her, and now you’re going to help make this right.” He shouted the last part, pointing his finger into the blond man’s face.

“You make a habit of befriending street rats?” Ben was beginning to get angry for being blamed for this and he had never seen Joe get so angry before, he just didn’t understand.

“She wasn’t a goddamn street rat. She’s a-” Joe shook his head in bewilderment at his friend. “It doesn’t matter, Ben. Just know that you fucked up and maybe-” Joe was cut off mid sentence when he saw him. John. Casey’s ex-husband. “HEY!” Joe shouted, his face getting more and more red. “Where is she!” He took long strides over towards the man.

“If you’re talking about Casey, I left her outside the courthouse, an hour late I might add.” John scoffed as Joe approached him quickly. “Probably drunk as usual.”

“She was late..” Joe trailed off, looking at the man that he was certain was evil incarnate. “No, I tried to help-”

“When will you realize that she isn’t worth it? She’s not the girl you once knew, Joe, she’s nothing but an alcoholic who lies about everything.” John shrugged his shoulder and started walking away, but Joe wasn’t letting him off that easily.

“She lies? Were those bruises a lie, John? Was that busted lip a lie?” He shouted loudly, making people look at the exchange. “And what about Sophie? Huh? Now that your favorite punching bag is gone, what will become of her?” Joe was fighting back the tears that he knew were going to come out. Casey had told him all about John and what he liked to do when he came home. Joe knew all about the time that Casey had come home just as John’s hand had slid across their daughters face. It burned him up to know that that little girl was stuck in that house now, and while he could put the blame on John, instead he turned to Ben whose eyes were wide with shock.

“This is your fault!” He shouted, the angry tears flowing down his face. “If you hadn’t kicked her out of everywhere she needed to be, she would have had a chance!” Joe pushed his shoulder into Ben’s as he walked past. “Come on!” He shouted over his shoulder as he walked away, Ben following quickly before sliding in after Joe into a cab.

-

“Joe, please listen to me, I didn’t know.” Ben explained as they walked up Lucy’s buildings stairs after paying the cabbie. “She didn’t say anything, she just cowered away from me.” He whispered the last part, his heart straining in his chest. “I didn’t know.”

“So your first instinct when you see a bruised up woman is to shout at her? When she cowered away from you, you just kept going? And when you saw her again? What you just assumed she was following you and shouted at her again? What the hell is wrong with you?” Joe was fuming, brushing off the snow that had started to fall off of his jacket. 

“I didn’t know!” Ben shouted back, throwing his hands in the air. “Would it have been so difficult to tell me someone would be at your place when I got there?”

“I thought she would be gone by the time you got there.” Joe lowered his voice. “Look Ben, I’m sorry that I’m being so rough on you right now, but-” He stopped himself and rubbed a hand over his face. “Ok. Look. This isn’t my place to tell you but that man that I was yelling at? That was John, Casey’s abusive husband. Ex husband. She ran away from him two weeks ago with their four year old daughter, Sophie. John called the cops saying that his crazy alcoholic wife had kidnapped their child and she was arrested and Soph was returned to him.” Joe scratched at his head before continuing, “She had court today to show them what he had done to her and will inevitably do to their daughter. She was to shower at my place, get clothes from Lucy and the Gwil was supposed to take her to the courthouse.”

Ben folded his arms over his chest and looked away from his friend. “We need to find her, and hope to god that she isn’t drinking.” Joe sighed heavily. Ben simply nodded his head and pointed to Lucy’s door. Joe clapped his hand on Ben’s back and the two men silently walked the short distance to the door. Once Lucy answered, they retold everything to her and she gasped, looking at Ben like she didn’t know who he was anymore. Ben stayed quiet as the two of them went over all of the places that she could have been, before insisting that they let him help. Splitting up seemed to be the best idea to find her.

“Let’s take a few jackets with us, I know that she only has one thin one since she left the shelter.” Lucy mumbled, handing thick coats to both men. Joe called up Gwil and while he was also extremely pissed at Ben, he jumped at the chance to help them search for her. The four of them all seperating to different areas. 

“It’s February in New York, it’s cold and without a shelter, she could freeze in this snow.” Joe muttered as they stepped out of the building. It was suddenly heavily snowing and he pulled his own coast close to his body. “Split up, call me as soon as you find her!” He shouted as he jogged away. 

“I’m not going to tell you not to feel bad, Ben, because you honestly should be ashamed of yourself.” Lucy spit out before she too, was on her way.

Ben cursed himself loudly, before heading off in the direction he was told to go. Who thinks to look for someone under a bridge? He thought to himself as he shoved his hands in his pockets and took off running.

-

By the time that Ben had reached the bridge Joe told him about, the sun had set and he was holding his collar up close to his neck. “Casey!” He shouted every few feet, hoping to get a response. Don’t forget to check under the bridge, not just around it. Joe had reminded him before he left the apartment. Apparently there were a lot of people who hung around the bridges in snowstorms in New York. Americans. Ben chuckled dryly to himself as he shouted her name again. The closer he got to the bridge, he could see a slight figure huddled in on itself under the bridge.

When he walked up to the shivering figure, he whispered her name again. “Casey?” The figure lifted its head and shook it.

“What are you going to tell me that you know the person who owns the bridge too?” She scoffed, hiccuping slightly. Ben took a step towards the woman who looked so much smaller than she had that morning. “Who are you anyways? Are you-” Hiccup “Following me?” The woman took a long drink from a bottle that Ben had not seen when he walked up.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know who you were this morning.” Ben took another step, walking slowly as to not frighten her.

“I’m not fucking scared deer, buddy, I’m not gonna run away if you walk towards me.” She slurred a little but Ben could tell that she was scared. “Who are you?” She asked again.

“My name is Ben, I’m friends with Joe.” 

“How do I know you’re telling the truth? You didn’t believe me when I told you I was friends with him.” She scoffed, taking another gulp, Ben watched her face scrunch up at the drink.

“Casey, look, I’m sorry ok? I fucked up, real bad. I didn’t know what had happened to-” Casey cut him off with a scoff.

“What do you think that you know me now? Joe told you about me so you think you know?” She struggled to stand, but swatted Ben’s hand away when he reached for her, “You know nothing. You are only here because you feel bad that you yelled at me, knowing that he yelled at me too. You don’t care about me, you only want to make yourself feel better and pity me.” She shook the bottle at him, sloshing the liquid onto the ground. “Don’t you fucking pity me.”

“You’re right, I do feel bad, and that is why I’m out here, but I can honestly tell you that I do not pity you.” He crossed his arms, suddenly realizing that he was holding the coat Lucy gave him. “I think you are incredibly strong to have gone through that and came out the other side.” He held out the coat to her and she eyed it for a moment, shaking her head.

“I don’t need your help, Joe’s friend.” She smacked at the coat.

“It’s not from me, it’s from Lucy.”

She picked her head up and looked at the coat again, snatching it quickly and pulling it on. Finding gloves and a hat in the sleeve and she smiled, running her hand over the hat. “Lucy.” Casey cooed softly.

“Can we get you home? Wherever it is you stay?” Ben asked, rubbing his hands together in the cold. “It’s getting awfully cold out here.”

Casey smiled at him softly, the warmth of the coat already bringing more color into her cold skin. “Oh, Joe’s friend. Welcome to my home.” She stumbled only slightly as she spun around with her arms spread wide. Ben’s eyes widened considerably as he watched her. 

“Here? Isn’t there a shelter that will take you in? It’s freezing out here!” 

“Shelters are family space only, kids need to be inside before I do. Plus they wont let me in because, well,” She shook the bottle slightly with a dry laugh.

“Joe said you were a recovering alcoholic.” He started slowly, moving closer to her, this time she didn’t back away. Casey scoffed and rolled her eyes before leaning against the wall behind her, handing the bottle to Ben. Taking the almost empty bottle and bringing it to his lips, he took a deep drink, not handing it back to her.

“I am.”

“Yeah I can see how well that’s going.”

“Well I kind of had an overly shitty day today.” She scoffed, reaching for the bottle in his hands but he pulled it away. “Some asshole kept me from what I needed to do, and I lost my daughter. I think I’m allowed.”

Ben felt the guilt creep up his spine and he looked away from her, taking another swig from the bottle. “Casey..”

Casey put her hand up to stop him. “Please stop apologizing. Shit happens, not everything can work in my favor.” She slid down the wall until she was sitting on her heels. “It would just be nice if something went my way for once.”

Ben looked at the woman, sitting in a small position, head in her hands. “You’re right, you deserve this.” He handed the bottle back to her slowly, making her pick up her head with a small smile.

“You’re not too bad, Joe’s friend.” She smiled, but shook her head and held her hand up, refusing the bottle. 

“Well instead of sleeping out here, I’m sure Joe wouldn’t mind if I offered up his spare room. It’s too cold out here.” Ben stuck his hand down to her and she gave a small smile before shaking her head, Ben looked at her confused.

“Joe will kill me if he knew I had been drinking, I think it’s best if you just tell them that you couldnt find me, I’ll make my way back to Joe’s in the morning.” Casey pulled the coat closer to her body and sighed into the fabric. “I’ll be alright out here.”

“Fat chance. I’ll just tell Joe that you went straight to bed and he wouldn’t even bother you until morning, he doesn’t even have to know.”

“He will know.”

“How?”

“Before tonight, I haven’t had a single drink for eleven months and twenty-seven days.”

“Jesus, Casey. This really is my fault.” Ben scrubbed a hand over his face quickly, pushing off of the wall and pacing a little. “If I hadn’t been such an arsehole this morning, you would have gotten to where you needed to be on time and maybe you’d have your kid.”

“If you say that you are sorry one more time, I will punch you.” Casey pointed a finger at him and laughed. “Alright, I’ll let you have your ‘save the damsel’ moment, Joe’s friend. Take me to Joe’s.” She held both of her arms up for Ben to help her stand, which he did happily. “But I will need to talk to him tonight, I promised I wouldn’t keep things from him anymore.” Ben nodded his head, and after she took one step and stumbled, Ben chuckled sadly as he stepped in front of her and crouched down. 

“Jump on, it’ll be easier than making sure you won’t stumble into the street.” He spoke over his shoulder at her. With a loud laugh, she jumped right onto his back and he grunted at the force. “You’re lucky you’re adorable.” Ben grumbled, bouncing her up further on his back. Casey laughed lightly and tightened her arms around his neck, and off they were headed towards Joe’s apartment. “You should call Joe, He’s been worried sick about you for hours.” Ben hooked her ankles together in front of him so he could dig in his pocket for his phone before handing it to her.

Sighing she took, the offered phone and punched in Joe’s number and squeezed her eyes shut and waited for him to yell at her.

“Ben? Did you find her yet? I haven’t heard anything from anyone else and I’m fucking freaking out.” He blurted out as soon as he answered the phone, and it made her smile but also made her heart break for causing this.

“Joe..”

“Casey, oh my god! Where are you?” Joe’s voice softened and she could feel a tear slipping down her face.

“Two blocks away, how long it’ll take us to get to yours is undetermined, your friend here walks awfully slow.” Joe could hear Ben’s laughter through the line slightly.

“Well if you weren’t so bloody pissed I wouldn’t have to carry you and we could get there quicker.” Ben laughed and Casey went silent.

“Casey.. are you- are you drunk?” Joe gasped at her, she had been doing so well.

“Joe..” 

“Goddammit Casey.” And then the line went dead. Joe had actually hung up on her, and it made more tears spill from her eyes and she handed the phone back to Ben over his shoulder. She let out a loud sigh and dropped her chin onto the top of Ben’s head.

“Now he is pissed, so thanks for that, Joe’s friend.” She sighed loudly again.

Ben sighed with her, “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to do much right when it comes to you, can I?” 

“We can start over tomorrow.” Casey yawned and dropped her head to Ben’s shoulder, her whiskey breath breezing across his neck and he repressed a shudder at the feeling. Within seconds, he could feel her breath even out as she started drifting off to sleep.

One last block and Ben was walking up the stairs to Joe’s apartment, tapping the door lightly with his foot. When the door was wrenched open quickly and Gwilym pulled Ben inside quickly. Joe stayed sitting on the couch but Lucy ran over quickly.

“Is she alright?” Lucy whispered to Ben as he kicked off his shoes by the door, allowing Gwilym to pull off Casey’s soaking wet sneakers with a grimace.

“I think she’s alright, she passed out a few minutes ago. Luce will you help get her into dry clothes? I think she would feel better if you did that?” Ben’s voice was pleading to Lucy, knowing that she was upset with him but that she loved Casey. She nodded tightly, eyes not breaking away from his. 

“Let me give you a hand, carry her over to the couch.” Gwilym instructed, pointing to where Joe was sitting.

Ben shook his head gently, “She can have the spare room, I’ll be on the couch tonight.”

“To the back room, then.” Gwil nodded with a small smile, following behind the two as they walked down the short hallway. 

Once in the darkened room, Lucy turned on a small lamp and Gwilym put one arm behind Casey’s back and put on on her head as Ben crouched down until her behind was on the edge of the bed and unwrapped her arms from around his neck. Casey made small noises that Ben shushed away softly. Pulling the hat from her head, Gwilym brushed a stray hair from her face. “Lucy, all you now.” Ben whispered backing out of the room, Gwilym close behind.

After the phone call, Lucy had taken a cab back to her house to get clothes for Casey, knowing that she would be soaked to the bone. When she grabbed the stack of thick warm pajamas and walked over to where Casey slept, she spoke softly. “Casey? Honey? I don’t know if you can hear me babe, but it’s just me, Lucy.” She ghosted her hand over the sleeping woman’s face gently. “Please don’t be afraid sweetheart, I’m just going to change you into some clean warm clothes, ok?” Casey made a small noise, to which Lucy assumed was compliance. She assumed right because Casey moved slightly just enough to assist Lucy in her re-dressing. When she pulled back the covers, Casey rolled right into the open spot and burrowed into the pillow. Lucy gave her a small smile and ran her hand over the woman’s cheek again. “Goodnight, love.”

“Joe, come on. You saw her, she’s not in a good spot right now.” Ben pleaded to the man, but Joe had his hands crossed over his chest.

“And who’s fault is that.” Joe grumbled back, not making eye contact with his friend.

“Yes, Joe, I know. I fucked up, ok? But I found her and she’s safe now, isn’t that what matters right now?” Ben threw his hands in the air, careful to not raise his voice too loud. Joe on the other hand, seemed to have no qualms about it.

“No, Ben. You don’t know. You have no fucking clue.” through gritted teeth, Joe stood up, showing his height difference with the blond man. “You can’t begin to imagine how badly you’ve fucked up this time.” His voice got louder and Gwilym stood up raising his hand. “DON’T!” Joe’s gaze flickered to Gwil, who put his hands up in defense. “Everything that happened today is YOUR FAULT!” Joe screamed at Ben and everyone turned quickly when they heard a whimper coming from the hallway.

“Casey.” Gwilym breathed out, rubbing his hand over his face before rushing to the girl.

“Oh fuck, Case..” Joe started to take a step towards her, and his heart shattered into pieces when she flinched away, cowering behind Gwilym’s tall frame. “Oh, Casey, no. Please. You know I wouldn’t hurt you.” Joe’s voice broke at the look his best friend was giving him. He had scared her. “Casey..” He breathed out and reached for her again, she still pulled away.

“It’s not his fault.” She whispered, so softly. Everyone in the room was silent and Ben’s head picked up quickly at the sound of her small voice. His heart hurt for everything that he has caused, she was being kind when she said it wasn’t his fault, of course it was his fault. “It’s John’s fault. He took away my voice for so long that I couldn’t stand up for myself this morning.” She sniffled slightly, Gwilym’s hand rubbing her shoulders gently. “I don’t blame Ben.”

Ben smiled instantly at his name falling from her lips. This was the first time she had said it all evening. 

“Do you want some tea, love?” Lucy stepped towards her, putting her hand on the girl’s shoulder, earning a soft smile from her. “How about I start you a nice shower and Gwilym and Ben can start your tea?” Lucy looked at the boys and they all nodded knowingly. Give them space, her look read.

Casey nodded and the three of them left the room, leaving Joe and Casey together. “Casey-” Joe started but was cut off when she ran to him quickly and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Case, I’m so sorry.” He wrapped his arms around her small frame. “So fucking sorry.”

“It’ll be alright Joe.” She whispered into his chest. “I have a question..” Barely lifting her head off of his chest.

“Of course you can stay here, Casey.” Joe answered her question before she could even ask, earning a giggle from the woman. “As long as you want.”

-

Two Years Later

“Casey, come on! We gotta get going, love!” A voice shouted from the kitchen, filling up two travel mugs of hot coffee.

“Be right out!” Casey hollered back through the closed bathroom door. “Alright now, love, I need you to be on your best behavior today, ok?” Casey smiled down at her daughter who was standing on the closed toilet lid, Casey’s hands wrapping tiny rubber bands in the child’s hair. “Sophia, I mean it,” She scolded lightly, seeing the grin on her daughter’s face. “Best behavior, and maybe you get a treat when we get home.” Casey raised her head in a challenge.

“I promith, momma.” Sophie smiled at her mother. Two missing front teeth had caused a pretty intense lisp and Casey couldn’t help but laugh. Putting the last band in the blonde hair, she kissed the top of the girls head as she patted her backside lightly.

“Down you go little one.” Sophie looked up at her mother, still standing on the toilet lid, raising her arms to her. “Momma’s back is hurting real bad today, baby, just jump down.” Casey rubbed her hand on her lower back, arching slightly with a groan. 

Sophie jumped down with a sigh and looked up again. “Is brother punching you again?” Her small hand found itself rubbing at Casey’s swollen stomach. Casey put her hand over Sophie’s and smiled down at her with a nod.

“Kicking, sweetheart, and yes he is. Your brother is very active today.” 

“Be nice to mommy, brother!” Sophie shouted at the large bump. “No more kicking momma!” 

Casey laughed at her fondly, patting her head. “All better, thank you baby.”

“Thank goodness we are having a boy,” Joe spoke from the doorway, “You two already take so long to get ready.” He smiled at them both. “People will start telling us to get there earlier just so we will be on time.” Sophie stuck her tongue out at the man and he did the same back, earning a giggle.

“Be nice to mommy, daddy.” She repeated the same words, looking at Joe with a little smirk. Casey’s heart soared at the word. The past few months, Sophie had slipped up a few times and called Joe dad or daddy, but now it seemed she was doing it more and more, maybe even on purpose.

Since the night Ben carried her to Joe’s, Casey has lived here. Joe told her that she could stay for as long as she wanted, and she wanted to stay forever. It was just over a year ago, the first time that Joe and Casey had spoken of the growing feelings. Casey was the one to lean over and quickly leave a kiss on Joe’s surprised mouth, but after that, they both jumped in feet first. Joe had helped Casey get another hearing for custody and now with a steady place to stay, and a brand new job, Sophie was taken away from her father’s abusive grips and placed lovingly into the spare room. Joe had gone overboard with decorating for the child, but seeing the look on Sophie’s face when she saw her new bedroom, was worth every cent.

Seven months ago, Casey called Joe and encouraged him to come home as soon as possible, and fearing the worst, Joe had sped home quickly. When he burst through the door, Casey was on him in seconds, arms wrapped around his neck. At his insistence, she breathlessly handed Joe a small white plastic stick. Two little pink lines could be seen through the small window. Joe stared at the piece of plastic for what seemed like forever, face unreadable, and Casey started to worry, but when his eyes flicked back to meet hers, his lips pulled back into a grin.

“We’re gonna have a baby?” He asked her softly.

“We’re gonna have a baby!” She squealed.

They quickly started looking for a new home for their growing family, but having no luck, they had decided to just set up the crib in their bedroom, fully put together and filled to the brim with the gifts that had already been piled on by their friends. Ben and Casey had quickly become friends, and Ben doted on his new ‘niece’ shamelessly, and Sophie loved every second of it. She knew that he would also spoil the new baby and the thought of it made her smile. Had it not been for that terrible day, so long ago, Casey would have had such a different life.

It was all Ben’s fault.

~x

[hearts-hunger]

Funny How Love Is || bxjxg

Summary: After a long day of failed auditions, Joe can’t stop thinking how he’s never quite good enough. Funny how love is always there to drown out doubt and remind him of how loved he is, especially by his two boyfriends.

Pairings: Ben Hardy x Joe Mazzello x Gwilym Lee || poly!borhap boys

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: None!

A/N: Hello lovelies!! I promised I’d give you some fluffy bxjxg by the end of the day, so here it is! That pic of Ben and Gwil on Gwil’s insta got me so soft that it actually kickstarted my dumb brain into writing for them again, and of course I had to write Joe in too. I hope you like it! ♡

Joe didn’t know exactly what it was that had made his day so horrible. Maybe it was the traffic, which he despised but usually tuned out of by calling one of his boyfriends. Maybe it was the fact that his phone had died just as he tried to call, leaving him stuck in the motionless car with no distractions. Maybe it was the same five songs that every radio station seemed to play, those top hits that he liked to dance to when he was tipsy but really would be happy never to hear while sober. Maybe it was the words of the casting director that kept echoing in his head without anything to drown it out, repeating over and over choice phrases that he’d been no stranger to in his acting career. We just don’t think you’re right for the part. You’ve got some good ideas but we’re going in a different direction. Sorry, Mr. Mazzello. We’ll give you a call when we decide.

Yeah, he knew what that meant. He’d get no such call, he could guarantee. Maybe it was arrogant on his part, but he’d thought that after landing Bohemian Rhapsody, casting directors everywhere would be begging for him to come audition for them. He’d found it was kind of the opposite; no matter how much money Borhap had made, Joseph Mazzello still wasn’t a big name in Hollywood, and people were looking for big names. Names that had made it onto more than one A-list movie in the past two decades.

He gripped the steering wheel a little tighter than necessary - really, traffic was crawling, so he could have put the car in park - and took a steadying breath. One rejected audition didn’t mean his whole career was coming to an end. He needed to be patient. He needed to keep trying.

He needed to stop hearing that damn casting director’s voice on repeat, is what he needed.

He fiddled with the radio again, tuning it to the station that played oldies and actually played Queen pretty consistently. No such luck this time, though - David Byrne’s voice crooned out through the speakers in its clipped way, oddly grating to Joe at the moment.

He turned the radio off with a huff. “Yeah, I’m about to be a psycho killer if this traffic doesn’t start moving.”

He was ready to be home. It had been a long and disheartening day, and he was just ready to be home and lay on the couch in sweatpants and watch reruns of X-Files on Fox. Maybe have some wine, possibly take a long and boiling hot shower. Anything to self-soothe from having to submit to the mortifying ordeal of giving his all to an audition only to be rejected, yet again.

“Finally,” he muttered to himself as traffic began to move. He eased the car up to the speed limit after inching forward for nearly half an hour and felt some of the tension in his shoulders ease.

He got home over an hour after he said he’d be back, night starting to fall over Belgravia and easing the temperature down with a cool breeze through the darkening sky. Looking up at the second floor windows of the brownstone, he couldn’t help but feel comforted at the warm light spilling between the sheer curtains and onto the street below. Double checking the car was locked, he headed up the steps to the front door, straightening his shoulders so as not to immediately give away how tired he felt.

The sound of “Funny How Love Is” greeted him as he closed the front door behind him, drifting in from where it was playing softly in the living room. He put his keys and his wallet on the little catch-all table in the foyer as he closed the door behind him.

“Honey, I’m home,” he called.

“Oh, fuck you!” came Ben’s voice from the living room.

Joe gave a surprised laugh at the reply, a smile crossing his face for the first time all day as kicked off his shoes. He made his way into the living room and found Ben on the couch, intently playing Mario Kart.

“That’s one hell of a way to greet your boyfriend,” Joe teased.

Ben gestured hopelessly to the screen. “I was in first place and Toad ran me right off.”

Joe saw Ben was playing Rainbow Road, and he could understand his boyfriend’s frustration. “So, that wasn’t directed at me?”

Ben looked mildly panicked. “God, no, sorry.” He gave Joe a smile. “Hi, honey. I’m glad you’re home. Come here.”

Joe sat next to Ben on the couch as he paused the game, tossing the controller aside in favor of taking Joe’s face in his hands and giving him a few gentle kisses.

“There,” he said. “Better?”

Joe couldn’t help but smile. “Much better, thank you.”

He propped his feet on the coffee table and leaned his head on Ben’s shoulder, enjoying the closeness. “You can keep playing if you want. Gotta show Toad who’s boss.”

Ben laughed, a warm and comforting sound, taking the controller in hand again as he started another race.

“And if you can’t beat Toad on Peach Beach, I’m officially disowning you,” Joe added.

Ben snorted. “Okay, dad, thanks.”

Joe was content to sit in silence and watch Ben play, listening as he sang along with Queen in his warm voice.

“Funny how love is everywhere, just look and see,” he sang almost out of habit. “Funny how love is anywhere you’re bound to be.”

Joe closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, sinking into the sound of Ben’s voice and the feel of his warmth. Ben was practically a furnace; he usually wore his dozens of soft hoodies not because he was cold but because he was a very tactile person, enjoying physical touch and substituting with sweatshirts when he couldn’t have any.  

“So… how did your audition go?” Ben asked as the track switched to “Seven Seas of Rhye”, distracted by the video game but still wanting to engage with him.

Joe started to say that he didn’t want to talk about it, but he was saved from answering Ben as Gwil appeared on the stairs. Gwil smiled as he came down to the living room with a hoodie in hand, the corners of his eyes crinkling behind his round glasses.

“Thought I heard you come in,” he said. “How was your day, love?”

“Fine,” Joe said, trying for nonchalance. “Do you have a headache?”

While Gwil usually wore his glasses closer to bedtime and both Ben and Joe adored it, thinking it made Gwil’s sharp-featured beauty look a bit softer, they’d also learned that he wore them when he got headaches.

“No, thankfully,” Gwil said. “But my contacts were bothering me a bit.” He tossed the hoodie to Ben, who paused his game to pull it on.

“I couldn’t find the one you asked for,” Gwil said. “So I just grabbed one of mine.”

Ben gave him a smile. “‘S perfect, love, thanks.”

Gwil watched Ben go back to the game with a gentle smile on his face. That was Joe’s favorite part of being in a relationship with the two of them, seeing how they looked at each other like they hung the moon.

Joe warmed as that same gentle affection was turned on him, Gwil studying his face with a shadow of concern in his own before holding his hand out to Joe.

“Come on into the kitchen with me, Joey.”

Joe sighed and took Gwil’s hand, standing from his spot next to Ben on the couch. He almost wanted to stay with the blonde, knowing that Ben wouldn’t ask him questions about his day while he was focusing on the game. Gwil, though, had no such distractions, and Joe felt the weight of his admittedly vague answer between them.

“Tea?” Gwil asked, filling the kettle at the sink.

Joe took a seat at the bar. “Sure. Thanks.”

“There’s dinner leftover if you want some,” Gwil said, setting the kettle to heat on the stove. “I wasn’t sure if you’d eaten, since you came home later than you said. I tried to call but it went straight to voicemail.”

Joe ran a hand over his face. “Yeah, my phone died right as I left and I got caught in traffic. What’d you make?”

“It was Ben, actually,” Gwil said with a smile. “Chicken parmesan. I can heat some up for you if you want.”

“That’s ok,” Joe said. “I might have some later.”

In all honesty he felt kind of queasy at the thought of admitting that he hadn’t gotten the job. He stared blankly at the kettle on the stove, the casting director’s voice kept ringing in his ears. You’re just not what we’re looking for.

“Joe,” Gwil said.

He looked up to see Gwil taking three mugs down from the cabinet. “Hm?”

Gwil’s smile was colored with a bit of sadness. “I asked you what kind of tea you wanted.”

“Oh, sorry. Um, whatever you’re having. I don’t care.”

That wasn’t necessarily true; Ben and Gwil both knew Joe’s favorite tea was Darjeeling, and Gwil fixed it for him despite his answer. Joe felt a strange kind of ache as he watched Gwil make tea for the three of them, humming softly to himself, wiping up a spilled drop of water with the sleeve of his cozy black sweater. It was the same kind of ache he’d felt before they were together, when he’d found himself wanting to be held and comforted by the tall Welshman but not knowing how to ask.

“Where’d you go?” Gwil asked, giving him his tea.

Joe drew his mug close. “What do you mean?”

“You were miles away just then,” Gwil said. He smiled. “Just wanted to see where you’d got off to.”

“Nowhere,” he lied, running a hand over his face. “Just tired, that’s all.”

Gwil looked like he was about to say something, probably pushing back on the “just tired” excuse, but Ben’s voice cut him off from the living room.

“Did you make tea?” he asked.

“Yes, love,” Gwil called back. “Yours is ready if you want it.”

A moment later, Ben came into the kitchen; he took a seat next to Joe at the bar, pulling the sleeves of Gwil’s hoodie over his hands.

“Thanks,” he said as Gwil handed him a mug.

“My pleasure,” Gwil said, leaning on his elbows on the counter close to them. He bobbed his tea bag a few times, the water turning a honey color as the herbal tea he always drank seeped in.

“Say, you didn’t ever tell me how your audition went,” Ben said, nudging his shoulder lightly against Joe’s.

“You were a little distracted,” Joe said, trying for a joke and also trying to avoid the question again.

Ben smiled. “Yeah, but now I’m all yours. How was it?”

Joe wrapped his hands around the mug, feeling the warmth of it against the sudden chill of anxiety that made its way through him. “Um...” He felt a vague fight-or-flight feeling kick in, and searched for a way to get out from under the question without it being woefully obvious.

“Yeah, I’ll tell you all about it in a minute,” he said, standing. “I’m just gonna… go to the bathroom real quick.”

Oh, good job, Joe. He mentally kicked himself as his boyfriends gave him looks that mixed confusion and concern.

“Is everything ok?” Gwil asked.

Joe rubbed the back of his neck like he did when he was nervous, immediately making himself stop as soon as he noticed he was doing it. It was his biggest tell when he was lying or upset, and if they hadn’t already seen right through him like he was sure they had, his hand on the back of his neck was a dead giveaway.

“Yeah, fine.” Again, he tried for a joke. “I had to pee before I left, and sitting in traffic didn’t do me any favors. I’ll be right back.”

Before either of them could say anything or he could embarrass himself further, he made his escape up the stairs to the master bathroom. He could have gone to the guest bathroom downstairs, but he wanted a whole floor’s difference between him and his boyfriends who were surely talking about him now that they were alone. He splashed cool water on his face, glancing up at his reflection; he was red-cheeked with embarrassment, and he only flushed deeper when he thought of going back downstairs again. They’d probably take the hint and not ask him about it again - doubtless they’d guessed he didn’t get the part - but he’d still made such a huge deal about it that they were sure to walk on eggshells around him.

As he turned off the faucet and buried his face in a towel, he heard quiet bickering coming from the other side of the bathroom door.

“He obviously doesn’t want to talk about it,” Gwil was saying in a hushed voice. “Maybe we should just let it drop.”

“Maybe something’s really wrong,” Ben insisted, his tone matching his boyfriend’s. “Maybe it hasn’t got to do with the audition at all.”

Gwil was quiet for a moment. “You don’t think he’d hide something important, do you?”

Joe could picture Ben shrugging in response.

“He’s been like this since he walked through the door,” Ben said. “I’m worried, Gwil. This seems like a lot of fuss for one silly audition.”

“I agree,” Gwil said. “But maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s something different.”

Joe sighed. Why couldn’t he have just admitted he didn’t get the part and gotten it over with? He felt bad that he’d whipped his boyfriends up into a state of panic with his behavior; he knew it was childish. To have to go and tell them that it was indeed just the failed audition that had gotten him this upset, and not some life-threatening news worthy of a whole charade like the one he’d put on, was nearly too much to bear. He couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever, though, and after a few steadying breaths he went out into their bedroom.

Ben and Gwil broke apart from where they’d been talking closely together on the foot of the bed, trying to act as if they hadn’t just been in intent conversation about him. He almost smiled as he shrugged off his jacket and went to hang it in the closet; it was a small comfort that they were as bad as he was at acting like everything was fine. He stayed in the closet longer than he needed to, trying to buy himself some time or wait for them to say something.

Their hushed voices started up again, and Joe heard Ben say he was going to ask.

Gwil took Ben’s hand as he stood, trying to get him to sit back down. “Wait, Ben, just - ”

“Joey,” Ben said in his regular speaking voice, the baritone colored with concern. He gave Gwil’s hand a reassuring squeeze before letting it go and coming over to the closet.

“Please tell us what’s wrong,” he said.

Joe brushed past him and went to take off his watch, setting it on top of the dresser. “Nothing’s wrong,” he said, feeling a flare of frustration. Why couldn’t they have just let it go?

“Come on, sweetheart, you’ve been acting out of sorts since you came in the door,” Ben said. “We’re just worried about you.”

Joe huffed and carded his hand through his hair. “Fine,” he said. “I didn’t get the part, but you already knew that. That’s what’s wrong. Now can we please not talk about it any more?”

The words tasted bitter on his mouth, and now that he’d said them instead of just implied them, they couldn't be taken back.

“So…” Gwil ventured, “it is just the audition?”

“What, that’s not enough?” Joe snapped. He didn’t like that he was talking to his boyfriends like this, but he couldn’t seem to get a hold of his frustration and shame.

“No,” Gwil said, a bit surprised at Joe’s tone. “I mean, not getting a part is never fun, sure. But you’re not usually like this about it.”

Joe gave a derisive laugh. “Yeah, because I’ve had so many failed auditions that we know how I’m going to react to them.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Gwil said, pained that he’d wounded his boyfriend further. “We’ve all had plenty of failed auditions before. What I meant was that even out of the three of us, you’re usually the one who takes it best.”

That was true, and it was probably most of the reason why they were pressing him so hard about it this time. Gwil would brood and mull over his audition for hours on end if he didn’t get one, trying to see what he’d done wrong; Ben could get downright sulky if he got turned down. Joe, though, was always the one to crack a joke, to say that he hadn’t wanted the part anyways, to say they were probably going to go with someone else because the industry had a thing against redheads. He’d rarely taken a loss like he had this one, and he didn’t blame his boyfriends for being overly concerned.

Joe ran a hand over his face, annoyed at the sting of tears he felt.

“What was it about this one that made it so hard, Joe?” Gwil asked. “I don’t remember you saying you wanted it that badly, but I’m sorry if you did and I forgot.”

“No, it’s ok,” Joe said tiredly. Truth be told he hadn’t been very excited about this part, but at this point he figured he’d take what he could get.

He almost laughed. Of course, he’d been scraping the bottom of the barrel and had still come up empty. That was par for the course, wasn’t it?

“I just…” He shook his head. “Maybe it’s time to throw in the towel, you know?”

Ben and Gwil both frowned, surprise and confusion warring for dominance in their expressions. Ben sat at the foot of the bed again next to Gwil, both of them waiting patiently to hear what Joe meant even as they worried over him. Gwil put his hand over Ben’s to let the younger man know that it had been good to get Joe talking about this.

Joe sighed. “It’s been months since awards season, and I haven’t gotten any jobs.”

“That’s nothing to worry about, though,” Gwil said. He gave a wry smile. “You don’t get jobs lined up like that unless you work for Marvel or something.”

“You did,” Joe protested. “Both of you got jobs as soon as you got off Borhap.”

“Not big ones, though,” Gwil said. “Top End’s only playing in Australia, for god’s sake.”

“And I’ll only be in Six Underground for ten minutes, tops,” Ben agreed. “It’s not like I’m headlining my own box-office hit.”

“Still,” Joe said, unconsoled. “They’re still jobs. You’re still actors that people want to cast. I’m just…”

You’re just not what we’re looking for, the casting director’s voice filled in for him. That had been the constant, through all of it - everybody else could get a job, but Joe was never what anybody was looking for.

He hung his head. “Maybe I’m just not good enough.”

If he’d expected wild protest from his boyfriends, he didn’t get it. For a split second he had the dreadful feeling their silence was agreement, but no sooner had the thought crossed his mind than he felt Ben’s arms around him, pulling him close. He let himself be held, burying his face in Ben’s hoodie.

“Oh, Joey,” Gwil said, running a hand over his back and gently kissing the parts of his face that weren’t hidden against Ben’s chest. “That’s not true and you know it.”

“Why can’t I get a part, then?” he asked, his voice muffled by the fabric of Ben’s hoodie.

Gwil sighed. “I dunno, love. All I know is that every one of those movies would have been lucky to have you. You’re incredibly talented, Joe. You just haven’t found the right part yet.”

“And everybody who said no to you has no idea what they’re missing,” Ben agreed. He pulled back to look at Joe’s face, brushing away the few tears that Joe hadn’t managed to keep at bay. “Okay?”

Joe nodded. “Okay.” He knew he wouldn’t be fully convinced until he landed another job, but for now it was enough to lean on his boyfriends’ confidence in him.

“Sorry about…” He sighed. “Everything. I should have just told you.”

“That’s ok, love,” Gwil said. He brushed back Joe’s slightly mussed hair. “Why don’t you have a bath, hm? Wind down a bit before bed, how does that sound?”

“Only if you two join me,” he said.

Smiles surfaced on both of their faces.

“I think that can be arranged,” Gwil said, at the same time Ben said “do you even have to ask?”

Ben and Joe got comfy pajamas laid out for the three of them while Gwil drew the bath, leaving the bathroom lights off. They came into the bathroom greeted by the scent of rose bath salts and the warm glow of the candles they’d bought for just this purpose. Joe wasn’t even in the bath before he felt the tension leave his tired body, his boyfriend’s gentle hands helping him out of his clothes and into the warm water enough to erase a lifetime’s worth of worry. Gwil got in behind him and Ben across from them, their legs tangled together in the middle. Joe leaned back against Gwil’s chest as Gwil comfortably wrapped his arms around him. Ben traced up and down Joe’s thigh with a gentle touch.

“Okay, Benny?” Gwil asked.

Ben smiled. “Perfect. Though you both owe me lots of cuddles when we get in bed.”

Both Gwil and Joe gave a soft laugh.

“Come here, you,” Joe said, leaning forward to kiss Ben. The feel of Ben’s mouth on his and Gwil’s warm hand on his back made Joe almost lightheaded with happiness. He rested his forehead against Ben’s for a minute, drinking in the closeness of the two people he loved most in the world, the two people who showed him tirelessly that he was good enough, even when everything else was telling him he wasn’t.

He leaned back against Gwil and kissed his scruffy jaw, feeling Gwil’s smile.

“Thank you,” Joe said. “Both of you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Gwil twined his fingers with Joe’s. “Lucky for you, you’re stuck with us.”

Ben took their entwined fingers in his hands and brought them to his lips, peppering them with gentle kisses and tracing circles over their knuckles with the pad of his thumb.

“Gwil and I love you so much, Joey,” Ben said against their hands. “You’re perfect, you know? Absolutely perfect.”

Joe’s cheeks pinked and he turned his face to hide against Gwil. Gwil chuckled and kissed his temple.

“It’s true, love,” Gwil said. “You are perfect. And pretty soon some casting director’s going to see that as plainly as we do, I promise.”

“I love you,” Joe said. That one was just for Gwil, and he knew it; he drew Joe closer and gave a sigh of contentment.

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

Joe lightly nudged Ben in the ribs with his heel, drawing a giggle from the blonde as Joe had hoped it would. Ben was very ticklish, and his innocent laughter was one of the most beautiful sounds Joe had ever heard.

“I love you,” Joe told him. He couldn’t help but smile at Ben’s grin.

“I love you too, Joey,” he said. “Even more than Mario Kart.”

Gwil gave a huff of a laugh. “Charming.”

“It’s okay, Gwil,” Ben said. “I love you more than Mario Kart too.”

“Did I ever mention how irresistible your skills for romance were?” Gwil asked.

They all laughed and settled closer to each other, limbs tangled in the warm water, Ben’s skin fairly shimmering in the gold light, Gwil’s big hands belying their true softness as they traced over whichever parts of his boyfriends he could reach. Ben hummed “Funny How Love Is” in the companionable stillness, and Joe felt it was rather appropriate. Funny how love is everywhere, just look and see. Funny how love is anywhere you’re bound to be.

Even if he never got cast again in his life, he’d still gotten Borhap, and that was the only that mattered because it was what brought him to Ben and Gwil. Tomorrow brings love in the shape of things. Even if tomorrow brought audition after failed audition, it would still bring him another day with the two loves of his life. It would still bring him to loving and being loved in a hundred different ways by the two people who made everything right in the world, no matter what.

story taglist: @sunflower-borhap-boys @mimibarnes

forever taglist: @tv-saved-the-teenage-girl @dashlilymark @hazah

[goldenmazzello]

Never gonna love again.

Everything started when you met Joe on set of Bohemian Rhapsody in London, working as a makeup artist.

You were friends from day one.

Joe would always be joking around with you. You both were a crazy duo that made everyone chortle.

You had so much in common. You loved the same music, movies and food.

You were used to having long conversations in the morning while you were doing his makeup and drinking coffee.

Or when you had lunch during a break.

Two months into shooting the movie, you started to develope a crush on him.

At first, you tried to forget about it, since you wanted to keep everything very professional, but it was unlikely to happen.

You cannot choose when or when not to fall in love.

You remembered details about him that others didn't. And you were embarrassed because you couldn't hide it.

You would listen intently to him, even if it wasn't important.

You smiled at him a lot, often with a big goofy grin.

You fell deeply in love with Joe and the very first person to find out about your feelings was Rami.

You didn't tell him but he noticed it. It was obvious. The way you looked at him not only while you were getting him ready for his day at work but also when you were having lunch, the way you always seemed to be around him.

You begged Rami not to tell Joe about this and he agreed, saying he woud try to find out if he felt something for you.

You started to have high hopes when you heard Joe in between takes telling Gwilym he would ask "her" to go out next friday. You were sure he was talking about you and you were desperate for his question.

" I'm going to ask her to go on a date next friday after work, what do you think?"

You were kind of surprised because Joe could have waited for you to be out of earshot before saying anything.

"It's amazing Joe, I hope she says yes!"

Of course you were going to say yes.

Days went by and you were still waiting for Joe's question. You daydreamed about taking the friendship to the next level.

You started to give him signs so he could see you paid attention to every little detail.

You knew how he took his coffee, what he usually ate for lunch and his favorite songs by heart. The signs you were giving out were like a blinking neon light, but nothing seem to happen.

You thought he might forgot about it.

But he didn't.

It was thursday when the four boys were getting ready with you and your assistants when Ben spoke.

"So you have plans for tomorrow." He turned his face to see Joe, who was adjusting on his broccoli wig.

"Yeah."

"Did Grace say yes?!"

Grace.

So Joe shared your feelings, but for someone else.

She was the costume assistant of the movie and of course she would spend a lot of time with the cast too, with such luxurious outfits.

You were doing Rami's makeup when you heard her name leaving Joe's lips. You felt your heart dropped and Rami noticed. He could see it in your eyes.

He looked at you with compassion and as soon as you finished with him, you left the trailer.

Since that day, your mood changed. You were always with a big bright smile that could light the whole town, but it hasn't been seen in a while.

As much as you wanted to forget about everything and feel better, you couldn't.

Joe and Grace went on more dates.

You felt broken and the worst thing was you had to face him everyday. It was your work.

He could notice you weren't doing ok, but you avoided his questions.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes, I'm jus stressed." You said, emotionless.

Everytime you saw them together, you wish you were her.

You really wish you could be her.

You felt like a sixteen-year-old girl, with these crazy thoughts, but you wanted to be her.

You wanted her long blond hair, her precious smile and her perfume.

Maybe then, you thought, he'd like you more.

And you would be good enough for him.

You tried so hard to be everything that he liked.

But nothing seemed to work.

You felt he had found someonе more exciting than you.

You didn't get peace when you thought about her, you even imagined being in her place.

You were so blinded that you thought you really had to change for him.

You were like the song said, Losing my religion.

One day you were found crying in the bathroom by Lucy.

She was worried so she called Rami and they both tried to calm you.

"I've never felt this way before."

It was like your first teenage love, but in your late 20s.

"I'm so sorry sweetie, I really mean it." Lucy held your hand while talking. "I'm sure you'll find someone who would feel the same."

"I thought he was into you...but I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry too." Rami said with a sad expression on his face. He was one of the sweetest actors you've ever worked with and now, he was a friend.

They were all your friends.

But you didn't want Joe to be your friend.

You never wanted to trade places so bad in your life and be his partner.

He broke more than your heart. But it really wasn't his fault.

You took a deep breath and said. "I'm never gonna love again."

[yournotsolocalcryptid]

I Guess We Belong To Each Other

part 3 of ?

PREVIOUS (Lost In Thought and Lost In Time) | NEXT (Room for two)

tags: @transeliot @mentallyunstablebish @sarah0687 @cjand10 if you would like to be added or removed from my writing tag just lemme know:)

Summary: you and Billy find out whether or not he's ready to leave the hospital

Pairing(s): Billy/four x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings/Authors notes: mentions of hospitals/doctors/nurses, mentions of sexual activities, mentions of injury, complicated relationship between you and your former/lover/best friend who you thought was dead but isn't, the used of 'wanker' by billy, angst? feelings? fluff? poor writing and editing and proofreading skills? hope ya like it :)

You were in the waiting room down the hall from Billy’s room, waiting for the doctor who had performed his surgery and the nurse who’d originally contacted you and talked you through everything thus far to finish with their examination. If all goes well Billy comes home with you today. You sat on the edge of your chair, your foot tapping as you waited anxiously. A few more minutes dragged on before they exited his room. You stood as they approached unsure if you were more worried about him having to stay or him coming home with you.

The doctor started saying something with a lot of medical jargon and was speaking in a sort of roundabout way that in your nervous state and the lack of sleep last night you couldn't quite follow. Your eyes drifted to the nurse - whose name you learned was Amy - and she gave you a smile and a thumbs up from behind him. You bit back a grin as your stomach dropped. How were you both elated and nauseated at this news?

The doc ended his long convoluted speech with a jerk of his thumb at Amy and “she’ll fill you in on all the information you’ll need for his at-home recovery” and with that, he left.

“Why don’t you go see him and give him the good news and I’ll be in in a moment to go over everything with you guys?”

You nodded at her and off you went.

When you entered Billy’s room he looked up at you expectantly. “Well?” he asked “he didn't tell me anything. The wanker just examined me and left”

“It’s official. You’re all mine”

“All yours, huh?”

“Yep,” you said sitting on the edge of his bed “you belong to me now. Signed your life away. You should really read all forms handed to you in full before you sign them” your tone was serious but then you grinned as Billy laughed but his laughter was cut short by a groan as he clutched his side.

“Amy will be in shortly to tell us everything we need to know”

“You’re on a first-name basis with my nurse now?”

You opened your mouth to respond when you heard the door open behind you.

You shifted on the edge of the bed so you were facing Amy whom you gave a quick smile and you grabbed the notebook and pen you’d smartly grabbed on your way out your door.

“So, as I’m sure you’ve been told, you’re good to go home with YN today! But, there are some things you shouldn’t do on your own, some things you should limit doing, and some things you shouldn’t be doing at all if you can help it.” she turned to you and gestured at the notebook in your hands “ready?” You nodded and she started listing all of Billy’s limitations. “You can technically walk on your own, but you should keep it to a minimum. You’ll need help getting up from any lying or sitting positions until you’ve healed more.” and on and on with you scribbling madly as she went. “Oh, and I guess the last thing is, while I cannot stop you from engaging in any sexual relations,”

your scribbling stopped at her assumption that you and Billy could be interested in… could want to… you weren’t sure why this implication stopped you mid scribble but here you were, frozen in place at the idea- not even an idea but a mere implication that you and a man you had in fact had sex with numerous times- could possibly, maybe want to have sex.

“I can advise that you, Billy, take a… let’s say a less physical or active role in the activities, yeah?”

You faintly heard Billy make some joking reply but it went in one ear and out the other as images of you on top of billy flashed through your mind. Then you heard the door open and close behind you and you felt Billy’s eyes on you.

“YN?” he questioned softly

You started writing again, much slower than before, finishing the sentence you’s been on “yeah?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah” you stood and turned away from him.

“YN... I-”

“Now’s not the time, Billy” you set the notebook down and turned to face him “you ready to go?”

Billy opened his mouth to speak, closed it then after a small pause said “yeah” and gave you a small bright smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Okay, I’m going to go talk to Amy about the meds she mentioned and then I’ll be back and we can go” and left.

As soon as the door closed Billy’s head dropped back onto his pillow. His eyes were burning and he had a lump in his throat as he fought back tears. There were glimpses of how you used to be with each other, jokes and laughter mixed with vulnerability and total honesty but every time he reached out you shut him down and it was killing him inside but he couldn’t blame you in the slightest.

After a few minutes, you returned with what Billy knew was all in info on how to get his meds for him.

“Amy said you could walk out if you’re feeling up to it but if you aren’t you should say so. Pushing yourself isn’t a good idea” you said as you walked to his bedside “so, are you feeling up to walking and standing for that long”

He nodded

You quirked an eyebrow

“Yes!” he said chuckling “I swear”

“Okay,” you said, clasping your hands together “you ready?”

“Yeah, let’s do this fucking thing”

You helped Billy up and the two of you walked, his arm around your shoulders and your arm slung around his waist to the elevator and out through the hospital doors into the sunlight. You dropped your arm and reached for the sunglasses you had brought along and in this moment of stepping away from Billy, everything went black.

You heard the sound of people talking distantly as you slowly came to, one you could tell was Billy, his voice was so familiar, you could recognize it anywhere, but you couldn’t place the other. You groaned a little at the pain you felt in your head and body. It wasn’t excruciating you just felt sort of beat up, and your head hurt like a bitch.

“YN?” you heard Billy ask, closer to you now than he had been, then you felt him take your hand.

You opened your eyes to see billy’s still healing face looking concernedly at you. “What happened?”

“You were leaving the hospital and a man whose husband had just passed out suddenly came rushing in and he ran into you. You fell and hit your head on the concrete just outside the doors” you turned your head to see who was talking (they appeared to be a nurse) and you slowly shifted to a sitting position“You’re a bit scraped on and you have some bruising but it doesn’t look like you have a concussion”

They stepped forward and showed you a form “you’re free to go once you’ve signed this stating you’re leaving of your own volition and that you’re being releasing into the care of someone who can take care of you” you signed the form as they spoke. Then, they turned to Billy “that’d be you”

Billy took the form, signed it and handed it back. The nurse took a quick look at it and said “alright, you’re free to go” and with a quick nod, they left.

With a cheeky grin, Billy turned to you and said, “I guess we belong to each other now, huh?”

[mirkwoodshewolf]

On set visits; Queen x reader x Borhap boys pt. 1

*Author's note*

Alright so this part is broken up into 2 parts so here is the 1st part of the Bohemian Rhapsody film set visit. Part 2 will be up in just a second after I get done with this author's note. So expect some crazy stuff happening, fluffiness and the Rock Angel reminiscing on her past with the boys. 

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@simonedk​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@queensdivas​

@queendeakyy​

@wormzteef​

@geek-and-proud​

@starswin​

@isabella-bby​

@onebigfangirlworld​

@labessieisallama​

@5sos-wdw​

@ssa-sadboi​

@naturalswifty89​

@bohemiansweede

_________________________________________________________

*Sept. 2017. Filming Bohemian Rhapsody*

I almost couldn't believe it myself. I mean I knew that the boys were planning on a film about themselves and that it was taking them almost 10 years just to get it off the ground. But now after multiple rewrites of the script and better casting, the film was ready to get off the ground.

"So you're absolutely sure I can stop by whenever I feel like it? No matter how many times?" I spoke into my I-phone.

'Absolutely love, just as long as you don't spill any secrets.'

"Please Bri, when have I ever revealed anything to anyone about you guys?"

'Well there was the time—'

"That was a fluck and you know it!" I snapped.

'I'm kidding love, you've never spilled any secrets. You've gotten better at lying lately.' Brian chuckled.

"Well when you say it like that it makes me feel guilty."

'As it should love. So when can we expect you?'

"I'll try to get there before the filming starts, so I may end up going to bed now so that way I can get on the road early enough to beat traffic."

'I know Rog is looking forward to seeing you again.'

"I just did the summer tour with you guys, how could he already miss me?"

'It's a mystery to all of us, but he is your father after all.'

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay well I'll see you tomorrow Bri."

'See you then (y/n). sweet dreams and drive safe tomorrow.'

"Will do. Love you."

'Love you too poppet.' I then hung up and couldn't help but grin.

"You still going over to see them film tomorrow?" I turned and low and behold after a long day's shift there was my husband coming in from his police work.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat threw up." I teased.

"Ha-ha you're hilarious my love." He said as he undid his tie and unbuttoned his short. "So the film's finally taking off the ground?"

"Yep, and they finally found a better Freddie Mercury."

"Yeah cause I remember when you called and told me about Sacha Baron Cohen."

"I just couldn't stand the fact that he was wanting to expose the dark side of Freddie. I mean yeah he had the parties, and the drugs, the sex, but that's all what Rock and rollers did back in those days. Plus that's all he seemed to care about. The scandal that came with Freddie's name, nothing about the music. I'm only just glad Bri sided with me on it." I ranted as Jack came up after taking his shirt and undoing his pants and began to rub my shoulders.

"I know love. You're as protective of this project as Brian and Roger are. So do you know who exactly they got to play Freddie this time?"

"No, but I'll find out tomorrow."

"Okay well, my team's got a heavy lead on the case so I won't really be available tomorrow."

"I understand. Just—promise me you'll be careful my love. I haven't forgotten that one killer that shot you in the line of duty."

"I survived didn't I? Plus now we both have a bullet story to share." He leaned his forehead against mine.

"Not funny Jack." I muttered.

"I know. C'mon let's get some sleep. We both have got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." I nodded and then we both got into bed and we fell asleep.

Early the next morning I was on my way over to the set driving in my own car without a driver. As I approached the set gate of course I was stopped by security.

"Badge and proof of visitation ma'am." I handed him the badge that Roger had sent in for me and some documentation that I needed to show him saying that I was not only visiting but a consultant for the movie to help the actors get to know the true Queen. "Everything checks out Mrs. Kline, here you go and have a good day."

"You too uhh—Marvin." I read his nametag before putting my VIP badge around my neck as the gate opened and I drove on inside.

After about 10 minutes I finally was able to find a parking space. I got out of the car and locked it up before walking towards the set. I was told by Brian that the actors had been prepping for the biggest scene they were going to film, the Live Aid sequence.

When I came around and actually stepped up onto the stage, I was blown away and taken back to the summer of 1985. Jesus they—the production got every single detail down to the paint chippings. The rigged lights that Queen had the day they performed, Roger's kit and the grand piano with Freddie's Pepsi cups filled with beer.

"Oh my god. Jack if only you were here to see this." I muttered to myself. It was then I saw Brian talking to someone but—wait did he? Did he seriously dye his hair back to its original dark curls? I walked up to him but waited till he was done talking to some of the producers. Once he was I tapped his shoulder and he turned around and—oh wow I just....wow.

I don't know whether this is a prank or time travel does exist but I swear I'm literally looking at Brian the day I had met him.

"Okay it's official. I think I have finally cracked." I said as I placed my hand over my forehead.

"I'm sorry ma'am do you need to sit down or can I get you a cup of water?" Oh god he even sounds like Brian.

"Ahhh seems you two have already met. And here I thought I could surprise you." I turned and there was—Brian? My Brian with the grey curls now. Wait what!? What is going on here!?

"What the f—"

"Ah, ah language young lady!" Brian scolded.

"You must be the Rock Angel (Y/n) Kline, Brian and Roger have told us a lot about you. Pardon me, Gwilym Lee." He said as he extended his hand to me. I shook it and said in awe.

"Ahhhh, now I see it. Sorry Gwilym dear, never did I think I'd see two Brian's at once. I swear to god you look—exactly like Brian when I met him."

"Anita said the exact same thing. Cheeky woman was even trying to flirt with him." Brian said as he pouted towards the end..

"No she didn't." I gawked.

"I'm afraid it's true." Gwilym said with a blush. I shook my head softly laughing.

"Oh that woman I tell you what."

"Well I can tell you one thing I know a certain someone of the cast who will flip out once he sees you." said Gwilym.

"And just who might that be?" I asked him.

"The young lad whose playing Deacy, Joe Mazzello."

"Kept ranting on and on about your Live Aid performance and how you and Deacy used to interact with each other in your performances together."

"Ahh yes. Me and my dear brother mine." I sighed with a solemn smile.

"I—I'm sorry I-I-I didn't mean to......"

"No, no Gwilym it's fine. While sometimes I do wish he could still be around, I completely understand why he chose to leave the band. Hell without Brian and Rog I—I don't even want to think what I would've done after Freddie died." I soon brushed my sorrows away and said, "Now come here Gwilym I want to get a closer look at you." he came up to me and we stood face to face of each other.

I placed my hands on his shoulders and looked him up and down before cupping each side of his face gently.

"God they chose right for my Brian. I swear, it's like Gwilym is your long lost son Bri." I said as my eyes turned toward Brian.

"I'm beginning to think you might be right." Joked Brian. I stepped back from Gwilym and said to him.

"I can't wait to see the full Live Aid recreation with you all in full costume."

"I hope we do you proud Mrs. Kline."

"First of all, call me (y/n). Secondly, I'm already proud. From what I've heard from Brian and Roger, I have no doubt in my mind that we've entrusted the right group of actors with Freddie's and Queen's upbringing tale to absolute rock gods."

"You flatter us too much (y/n)." Brian gushed.

"Only because you old fossils deserve it." I teased as I stuck my tongue out at him to which Brian did his little eyebrow quirk at me. I giggled softly and continued. "Well before filming starts, I'm gonna continue to look around the set. I'm told the lower decks where all the performers were settled in are just like how they were when we were there. Ciao Brians'." I walked away from them with a wave of my hand.

After exploring more of the set design and going down memory lane it was then I came across another look-a-like. Holding the famed natural Fender precision Bass guitar and wearing that god awful tacky shirt that I secretly wished I had told him not to wear, and having the iconic mushroom fluffy hair was the actor who was playing Deacy, Joe Mazzello.

One of the hair designers was fluffing up the wig to make sure it was up to Deacy's standard. And god just like with Gwilym, Joe was practically identical to Deacy.

It was just like seeing Deacy again back when he was happy and content with where Queen was at, just before finding out about Freddie's illness (which I had found out from Spike several years ago that Deacy had actually known since the last tour Queen ever did with Freddie).

I smiled softly as I watched him get ready for the camera. His wide smile reminded me so much of Deacy's. Slowly I walked up towards him and as the hairdresser looked him over Joe asked.

"So how does it look?"

"I think you look terrific." I said.

"Wait who said—OH MY GOD!!!" he screamed as he turned around and saw me. Like all usual fanboys, he jumped back, his mouth was gaped and his eyes were wide.

"Close your mouth please Joe dear we are not a codfish." His mouth immediately closed.

"Y-you-you-you're....."

"The Rock—"

"Rock Angel." We both said together slowly. "Call me (y/n)." I greeted as I extended my hand out to him and he took it hold of it and shook it.

"I just—I can't believe that I'm-I'm-I'm actually standing beside the Rock Angel." I softly giggled.

"Just know that beyond the glam and the rock star female empowerment, I'm just a normal 55 year old woman."

"But you still look good." He said. I quirked my brow at him so he quickly tried to save himself, "Not that you're old or anything. I mean I don't mean to offend you I just....."

"Joseph. Relax dear. I'm not offended at all. Freddie always said that I would end up being an eternal beauty. At first I thought it was just Freddie being Freddie but as the years have passed I think he—that he must be behind giving me this youthful glow."

"The Rock Angel called me dear," he first gushed with a shy smile. "Sorry I just...... I grew up listening to your albums along with Queen and the first time I saw one of your broadcast performances, I kinda had a little crush on you" He said gently.

"Aww I'm flattered Joe, really I am." I said as I gently cupped the side of his face and gave his cheek a stroke of my thumb. At that point he looked like he was about to melt into a puddle with how much joy he was probably filled with. "Now Joe forgive me for saying this, how long have you been acting?"

"I was a child actor actually. I've—always been in the acting business. Why do you ask?"

"Well besides seeing some of my brother's features I feel like I've—seen you in something before."

"You might recall a little film that came out in the 90's known as Jurassic Park?"

"Wait hold on—you...." I gasped. "You played little Tim Murphy!?!"

"Yes, yes I was Tim Murphy."

"Oh my god. When that film came out my twin boys were literally obsessed with that movie. Would not watch anything else for a full year. They even wore out the old VHS tape we had for it. Oh my god how could I not recognize you sooner?"

"Well I was 8 just turning 9 while we were filming it."

"You had a birthday while filming?"

"Yeah. It was during the kitchen scene with the raptor. I actually got injured on that day."

"What? What happened?" he then proceeded to tell me exactly what had happened. Of how the raptor they used was on wheels and he was running toward the fridge and he was supposed to go left while the raptor was supposed to go right, but the guy controlling the raptor lost control and went the same direction as Joe and he ended up getting hit in the face with a metal claw.

And it was at that moment the director Steven Spielberg and the rest of the crew sang Happy birthday to him.

Then of course he tried to ask Joe at that moment if they could try it again, but when Joe proved he couldn't do it, they wrapped for that day.

"Oh you poor thing."

"It's okay, I survived."

"Well I hope you never suffered an injury like that since then. And on your birthday too? That's never a good birthday present to get a concussion."

"I was cleared out with no concussion, just a little dizzy and a bit of bruising."

"Oh I'm sorry love, it's my inner mother instincts kicking in."

"She always was an overprotective mother." We both turned around and I saw Roger walking up sporting the black beanie I gave him for Christmas last year and another actor who was sporting the Roger Taylor look he had for Live Aid.

"Oh look who's talking smother father! For years since I've known you you've been the definition of helicopter parent." I gawked at him. "You still sometimes even threaten Jack with missing out on our dates cause of our jobs."

"And I've always told you that boy would be trouble one day." He teased as he came up to me.

"Wow so it is actually true, you guys do look at each other as father and daughter." Said the young actor playing Roger.

"Yes Ben, my adoptive daughter (Y/n) Kline, otherwise known as the Rock Angel." Roger introduced.

"So you're the young actor playing my main father figure eh?" I said as I looked at the young man.

"Yes. Ben Hardy, it's a real honor to meet you in person Mrs. Kline. To say I was nervous to meet Roger is nothing compared to the thought of meeting you."

"Are you saying I'm intimidating and unapproachable?" I asked offendedly.

"Wha? No! No! God no I-I-I-I didn't mean it that way I was just...." I interrupted him with a laugh and said.

"Dear, relax. I was just pulling your leg."

"And be thankful she was. Otherwise, I'd beat your arse boy for insulting my daughter." Roger protectively stated.

"See there you go you old hypocrite. Besides Rog you haven't been able to kick anyone's arse in years. Don't want you breaking a hip now do we?" I mocked him.

"You're lucky these boys are here little missy." Roger scolded me.

" Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now then Ben, you were once on EastEnders right?" I said turning my attention back toward Ben.

"Yes. I played Peter Boyle on the show. My recent film before this was the new X-Men movie that came out about a year ago. X-Men Apocalypse."

"Ahh yes, my youngest son is always obsessed with all the superhero films. Marvel or DC. Now I'd like to see you two more closely, stand together." Both Joe and Ben followed orders and I looked both of them up and down.

Circling around them before cupping each of their faces once by one. And yes Ben was a bit more muscular than Roger was and of course they didn't get his hair right for this part in time, but there was just something in Ben's eyes that just made me think back to the first day I met Roger.

That sparkle of mischief but also protectiveness that shown through those blue eyes of his.

"That is most definitely my Roger. You both have the same spirit in your eyes. I can't wait to see how you play the drums up on that stage."

"Yeah, me neither." He said with a hint of nervousness. I then went over to Joe and cupped his face too. Just—my god just like with Deacy the profile was just uncanny. Of course, Deacy's eyes were more of a hazel type while Joe's were like a brownish type color. But I couldn't deny he looked so much like my brother. "And you my dear Joseph. Gwilym isn't the only one to resemble the man he's playing."

"It was kinda scary after getting the wig on. So much so that I called my mom and asked her what she was doing in 1983?" I laughed and said as I took my hands away from his face.

"Unfortunately, I can tell you for a fact that John Deacon is not your father. The only lady he's ever loved and will love is Veronica."

"I know." I chuckled softly.

"Now then Joe if you'll come with me there's important things I need to discuss with you."

"Like what?"

"You'll see. It was wonderful to meet you Ben, I hope we can get to know each other better later after you all film the Live Aid concert."

"Yeah of course, it was wonderful to meet you Mrs. Kline."

"Please call me (y/n). Dad you better not be too hard on this one, I like him."

"Don't worry I won't break him too much." The four of us went our separate ways.

Joe and I arrived at my trailer (all thanks to Rog and Bri). We entered inside and I told Joe to take a seat. He sat down on my couch while I went over to the kitchen.

"Tea?"

"Yes please. One sugar please."

"Just like how he liked it." I muttered to myself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing love, nothing." I prepped the tea for him and once it was done I handed him his cup and he thanked me. I watched him take a sip and he said,

"Ahh never gets old. I'm telling you after this I may just be the biggest tea fan ever."

"It is good for the soul. I myself have always found Jasmine to be the way to nirvana." I paused for a brief moment before saying, "Joe." He looked at me giving me his full attention, "As you know probably from weeks of research and maybe even from Roger and Brian themselves, Deacy chose to exempt himself from all forms of stardom. To live a quiet life with his family."

"Yeah. When I first got the part I did reach out to him on just any personal advice on certain quirks that he did. Cause even though I've played real life people before, this is the first time I'm playing someone whose still alive, and I wanted to do him justice."

"Yes, quite."

"However all I got back was just that he approved of the project and just for me to take it as any other actor would. Not that I'm saying that I'm mad at him for saying that. But I just—"

"I get it. Really I do." I took his hand and gripped onto it comfortingly. "Look. Ever since Freddie died, Deacy has been—grieving. Just like he did for me, it was Freddie who helped bring Deacy out of his shell and become more involved with the band. Not just being the bass player or the quiet guy."

"The King of the one liners, the tie breaker of Queen." Joe stated.

"Yes, although John could be loud and rowdy when he wanted to. He was definitely Queen's wildcard, but he was also their Ace. Unpredictable but incredibly brilliant. Never have I met a bass player quite like him. Nor do I think I ever will." It was quiet for what felt like forever when Joe asked me.

"Do you—do you still speak to him? I mean, cause I read that you both basically grew up close together, even for being 11 years apart from each other."

"Yes. We actually lived 20 minutes from each other back in our youth. He was and will always be my brother mine." I sighed heavily. "And to answer your question, I must remind you he's always been.....a cautious subject to me. Any remembrance of Freddie just makes him break, and as I'm sure you've seen from my concert footages I, sometimes, subconsciously find myself doing some Freddie movements on stage. Whether it's flicking my wrist like he did, strutting around the stage or waving my arms like he did. Deacy's.....he knows those things. But he's always there for me when I needed him. The last time was—on the tragedy of 9-11."

"Wait you mean....."

"Jack's cousin Jared and his wife Gen, they—they were on the plane that was overtaken by the terrorists. Took five days to finally find their bodies. Jared holding Gen in his arms. It was a risk but—I knew Jack needed more support than just his American family. So he and I went over to John and Veronica's place. We went at the early mornings of course just so that way no one would spot us driving in midday and try to track us down, then at sunrise we walked up to the door and—there he was. When Jack told him what had happened, he—actually invited us in and allowed us to stay the entire time. He ended up being the right support Jack needed."

"Your husband and John were close?"

"Oh yes. More alike than you know. Both incredibly talented bass players. That's how Jack got Deacy's approval when Jack and I started hanging out. He even gave my husband private lessons."

"Wow."

"Yes. They were practically inseparable the two of them for that summer. Even during their rehearsals, you would see Deacy go in the corner and practice what riffs he'd teach my Jack next. However that was the last time I ever actually saw Deacy, 16 long years ago. Haven't gotten in contact with him since. But occasionally, at least according to Brian, he asks them how I'm doing as well as Jack."

"I hope he's living a quiet and happy life with his kids and wife."

"I know they are. I still keep in contact with Ronnie whenever I can, sometimes we go out shopping, fawn over grandchildren pics, and just catching up. She was the mother I needed when I first had Kelly."

"Sounds like she was the ultimate mama."

"You have no idea." I felt Joe place his free hand on top of mine that still had his. I smiled softly at him before I got down to the real reason why I brought him here. "Joseph, now I know that when it comes to acting, Hollywood can pick whomever they deem worthy for a role, especially if it's for a real person. I'll be honest with you; hearing your American accent puts me a little on edge. Cause I have heard some pretty bad English accents on screen that just make me want to pull my ears off agonizingly slow. Now I know Deacy has probably the most unique accent from anyone in Leicester, I mean you hear my accent and I sound nothing like his dialect. So what I want to ask of you, just for the sake of you playing my brother, may I hear you speak with John's accent?"

"What-what would you like me to say?"

"Maybe say what you did for the audition. Or anything that comes to your head. It doesn't even have to be an interview Deacy did, I just want to hear your accent." He nodded before sitting back on the couch while I leaned back on the chair.

He adjusted himself before finally miming that he was driving a car before he finally spoke about when Deacy first joined the band. The one interview he did during the 'News of the World' tour with Bob Harris.

I felt like at that moment my heart had stopped. My hands slowly covered my mouth in a prayer style while the corner of my eyes watered. And sure there were certain words that he said that still sounded American but—this was my brother. I....I was actually looking at my brother right now. They got it right.

By the end of it, Joe looked at me and his eyes grew concerned as he said.

"Did I screw up?" I stood up from my chair in silence. I then walked over to him and knelt down in front of him cupping his face. A wide smile spread across my face as I immediately hugged him and softly sobbed.

"You are my Deacy! My brother mine." I then felt him embrace me back and the two of us rocked side to side. I looked up to the heavens praying that Fred was looking down knowing he would've loved Joe playing his Deacy. "If you ever need any advice or help, I'm here for you. Promise me Joe Mazzello that you will come to me with anything regarding Deacy."

"I promise (y/n)." he still spoke with Deacy's accent which filled me with both sorrow and happiness.

We stayed that way for god knows how long. After composing myself, we left my trailer when one of the volunteers came up to us and said.

"Joe, they're ready to start filming the concert."

"Shall we go on?" I asked.

"Yes, let's." God he had my brother's quick wit already. He crooked his arm out which made me grin softly. I looped my arm through his and the two of us walked on towards the Live Aid stage.

I stood alongside Roger, Peter Freestone (Freddie's former assistant and the other consultant for the film) as well as Brian's youngest daughter Emily (who in every way was so much like her father from the hair to the smile).

"I think this will be a great shoot, don't you think (y/n)?" asked Peter.

"Indeed Pheebs. And I'm sure Freddie would've loved to have seen it."

"He would indeed." He said as he wrapped an arm around me and soon Brian came and stood beside us after being backstage with the young actors who then came out just as Queen did that day back in 85. When I saw the young actor playing our Freddie, I was already impressed.

Sure he was skinnier than Freddie was, but seeing him move about just as Freddie did it was like I was seeing Freddie right before my eyes. The boys got into position and soon began to perform the entire Live Aid concert.

Besides actually being there and seeing them perform from the wings that day over 30 years ago, this was about the greatest concert performance I had ever seen.

The boys in full costume had everything down. Gwilym channeled Brian's solo on Bohemian Rhapsody, Ben was pretty impressive on the drums, Joe had Deacy's rhythmic moves down, and the young man playing Freddie he—it was beyond what I could imagine. He wasn't just moving like Freddie, it was like he knew why Freddie would move a certain way to a song.

I was in awe cause it felt like I had actually traveled back in time and was watching Queen's most historical performance once again. I stood behind Brian and wrapped my arms around his shoulders leaning up against his head smiling from ear to ear, I felt Brian take one of my hands and gently patted it every now and then.

When the Aye-Oh's happened I could help but lowered my head and holding my laughs of joy. I swear when this is over, I need to talk to this new actor playing Freddie cause unlike Sacha, this was our Freddie. Soon Hammer to Fall came on and I couldn't help but bop my head along to the song.

I felt a tap at my shoulder and I turned to see Emily holding her phone out with the notes app open. In the app it read.

'Is this how you remember it Aunt (y/n)?' I walked towards her and gestured for me to have her phone. She handed it to me and I typed out.

'Everything and more. God I wish your cousin Kelly could've been here to see this as well as your uncle Jack. They would've loved it.' I showed her my message and she came up and wrapped her arms around my shoulders as the two of us smiled happily up at the stage.

When Hammer to Fall concluded, the extras and even me and team Queen applauded. I let out a loud whistle from the sidelines as I applauded and took pictures with my own phone to show Jack and the kids later. Now I recall that it was at this time the guys ended up surprising me and the world with our duet "Set it all free" instead of the planned 'Crazy Little thing called love'.

Now I've been skeptical about having a biopic film about me, even though I knew both Queen and Elton were starting theirs at the same time, hell one of the producers Dexter Fletcher is currently directing Elton's film 'Rocketman' as we speak right now. So I didn't know if they would plan to do Crazy little thing or if they'd go the set as it was all those years ago.

I got my answer however when Ben started to play the drum intro to my song.

"You guys didn't." I muttered.

"We wanted to be historically accurate with the Live Aid set." Brian started.

"So we cooked up a little surprise for you." Roger said. It was then I heard the actor playing Freddie began chanting out along with the audience "An-gel! An-gel! An-gel!" it was then I saw a young girl come out and—by god it was like looking at my younger self from that day.

She was dressed exactly how I was with a pregnant belly suit underneath her shirt. Her hair was designed the same way as mine was, everything just took me back. Instead of a playback that the Freddie actor was using for all the singing, this young woman was actually singing and she had a pretty good voice.

I continued to watch in awe as the young woman basically became me doing each step or movement I did that day on Live Aid. I felt Brian and Roger wrap their arms around me as I couldn't even take my eyes off the young woman up on stage. I could hear the extras singing out the lyrics, even some of the crew members were bopping their heads and singing along.

She walked across the stage at the second verse right towards the Freddie actor and just like Fred and I did, they stood forehead to forehead singing the duet before she walked back out and went back to center stage. When the guitar solo came on, my eyes turned to Gwilym and he amazed me that he actually could do my hard rock solo.

After the song was over, the crowd applauded and cheered and I turned to the guys and hugged them and whispered into their ears.

"If this is you guys way of trying to get me to sign onto a biopic film......I'm highly considering it after seeing her."

"We'll introduce you later." Said Roger as we separated from the hug and we turned our attention back to the guys as We Will Rock you now began playing. I couldn't help myself by stomp my feet to the rhythm and mouth out the words.

I was just amazed by not only Gwilym's guitar playing but also the young man who moved just like how I remembered seeing Freddie move, using the mic stand as Fred always did (the cheeky man), even the facial expressions that he made were exactly like they were.

It wasn't until when 'We are the champions' came on that I could barely hold my tears in. Seeing not only Fred's actor but my actor singing the famed Queen anthem that has literally been played in every victory sport or award winning singing competition.

Seeing the two of them interact with each other, it was pure nostalgia.

By the end of the song, tears welled up in my eyes and I looked toward the heavens hoping that Freddie could see this and running through my mind I already knew what he'd say.

"Amazing jobs my darlings, not as fabulous as me but very, very close." When the extras and even some crew members cheered, Brian, Roger, Peter, Emily and myself all applauded and cheered for the boys and that's when the director called cut.

"This.....is gonna be a great movie." I said.

"I think so too. After just seeing them come together like that, I think we've finally casted the right people to play us." Said Brian.

"I agree you two, I'm liking what I've just seen so far." Roger said.

"And—I'm sure he would've liked this too." I said solemnly. I felt Roger gently rub my back and Brian said.

"I know he would."

After a few more takes of filming the Live Aid concert, the director said that it was enough for today. I walked around the set to find the producer Graham King and when I approached him I asked him.

"Graham tell me, who's the young man you got to play Freddie?"

"Oh his name is Rami Malek. His recent project was a show called Mr. Robot."

"Ahh yes I've heard of that, my Freddie is obsessed with that show. Never misses an episode."

"When we were casting Freddie I happened to come across an episode and when I saw him I—just thought I was looking at Freddie. So we brought him in, he gave us a mock interview as well as an audition that your boys saw when they first met him. And from then on it just fell into place. Do you approve of him? Is there a problem Mrs. Kline?"

"Absolutely not. Do you know where I can find Rami at right now?"

"Probably in hair and makeup getting undressed."

"Well, when he is done would you be so kind as to bring him to my trailer?"

"Of course (y/n)." I nodded in gratitude and walked off to my trailer.

I sat there once again on the chair looking through an old photo album. Each picture held a deep and personal memory for me, I thought back to the day that each picture was taken and remembered exactly what was going on at that very moment.

A knock was soon heard at my trailer. I composed myself with a deep exhale and said.

"Come in." the door opened and there without costume or the tache was Rami Malek.

"Graham said you wanted to see me Mrs. Kline?"

"Yes Rami, love please come in." he stepped inside and shut the door behind him. "Take a seat." I gestured towards the couch. He sat right where Joe had sat down earlier this morning and I said. "Would you care for a biscuit, or as Americans call them cookies?"

"Uhh yes please." I smiled and handed him a tray of biscuits I always kept around me (hey a woman's gotta have her sweet tooth fix right?) and handed him my best plate of chocolate chip cookies (all thanks to my mother in law's secret recipe). He thanked me as he took one and took a bite out of it. "Mmm. Oh my god," he cleared his throat and closed his mouth before finishing the biscuit up. "This is so good."

"Thank you, it was my mother in law's secret recipe. She passed it onto me shortly before Kelly was born." He took another bite of it and swallowed that piece before saying as he set it down on a napkin that I had also provided.

"What-what was it you needed to see me for Mrs.—"

"Before we continue, I'll ask you to call me the same way I've asked the other three of the band to call me. Call me (y/n)."

"Yes of course, (y/n). What was it you wanted to see me for? Is it to talk about what you saw out there? Did I screw it up already?"

"No, no dear relax. This is nothing in the way you're thinking." I saw him take a sigh of relief.

"Oh good. Cause I know I obviously wasn't the first choice for the job."

"In my books Rami, you should've been the first one to be called for the role."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, but first there's a couple of questions that I want to ask you that Brian and Roger might not have asked you, and I want you to answer them as Freddie would've."

"Okay." I smiled softly and stood up from my seat as I set the phot album aside.

"Who is Queen not without?"

"That's easy. It's you darling. There's no Queen without their beloved Rock Angel, and no Rock Angel without her four aging Queens." I felt my heart clench at hearing Rami speak with a British tone. The softness of his voice almost sounded identical to Freddie's voice. I turned towards him and walked towards the kitchen area of my trailer.

"Who is it that you trust the most?"

"Mary. Mary is the one I trust the most. For she knows me like no one else ever will." I reached the kitchen and rested my hand against the island.

"Who are you?" Rami looked at me before finally answering something that would forever stun me.

"I've been asked that all my life. By my family, student peers, professors, the entire world. I've been told who I should strive to be but I say fuck what they say. They don't define me. No, I decided who I am. I'm going to be what I was born to be. A performer who gives the people what they want." He pointed towards the ceiling as he whispered, "touch of the heavens." He dropped his hand before finally answering, "Freddie Fucking Mercury."

My lips quivered and I ducked my head as tears began falling down my face for—god knows how many times right now.

"Oh (y/n) I—I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry, I—did I say something wrong?" Rami said urgently as he stood up and stood in front of me.

"No." I choked out. I sniffled and that's when he handed me a tissue. Oh ever the kind gentleman and concerned about my wellbeing, just like Freddie was. "No you—you've prove to me that you know just who Freddie truly was."

"Didn't want to be put in a certain category or be stereotyped." He said. I nodded as I wiped my tears with the tissue he had given me.

"For as long as I have known Freddie, especially to his last, various people have chosen one of two sides. There's the one side that the press made him out to be. The one that-that—bastard Cohen wanted to portray Freddie as. The wild, crazed, homosexual drug addict. That he deserved what he had gotten because he was so reckless and stupid. That AIDS was his form of suicide. Never did I want to punch and murder so many people. Every time I got asked about whether Freddie's death was his own fault, I just wanted to rip the interviewer apart."

"I can see why. I bet a lot of true fans and the people who knew Freddie well would've done what you've felt like doing."

"But people like you Rami, who understand that Freddie wasn't just a frontman or greatest performer to ever live. That he did come from a harsh background but rose above all the trials and tribulations that came his way to define himself as he sought out to be. That's why he was my biggest idol." I grabbed the photo album and sat down on the couch and opened it up taking out a picture that was always a favorite of mine.

It was a picture that Deacy took of Freddie and I together just after my very first performance as the Rock Angel at Madison Square Garden. Fred's arms wrapped around me as he had picked me up, huge wide smiles were spread across our faces. I felt a dip on my left side I looked up to see Rami sitting close beside me. He looked down at the picture before saying.

"Was this your first performance?"

"Yes. Out of four members of Queen, it was Freddie Mercury who truly believed that I could make a name for myself in the industry. Taught me everything there was into getting the self-confidence I needed to get up on that stage. Sure we had our ups and downs, but through all the falls we had, he never gave up on me. He gave up on no one that he loved. And Rami," we looked at each other and I told him the utmost truth, "If he were alive today, he would've loved you."

He smiled as I gently touched his cheek and the two of us looked through my photo album of every picture Freddie and I took throughout the 11 years I knew him.

At the end of the day, just before the four boys left to go hang out at a pub nearby, I stepped in and offered.

"Why not have dinner over at my place boys?"

"Oh we couldn't impose." Said Joe.

"Nonsense Joe, I insist and I won't take no for answer. Plus it'll be a more homely environment. You boys can't live on catering and pub foods for the next several months to a year. No I absolutely won't have it."

"Best go along with her boys, she got her persuasion from the best there was." Roger added in.

"Well—if you think it's a good idea." Said Gwilym.

"Of course it is. Now come on, you four can fit in my car. Let's go. Meet you there Brian and Roger?"

"We'll be right behind you love." Said Brian. I gestured the boys to follow me to my car. Ben sat up in the passenger seat, Joe sat behind him, Rami was in the middle and Gwilym sat behind me. I turned the engine on and told everyone to buckle up (mama instincts what can I say?) and we pulled out of the gate and I drove us on home.

"So (y/n), what other kind of music do you listen to?" asked Joe.

"Whatever song has a good voice and a good beat, with no autotune I will love. You can look through my Spotify and see what I have." Ben took my phone out of the phone holder and turned around as Joe took over the controls and went to my Spotify.

"Wow there are a lot of songs. And I thought you would've just stuck with what you grew up on."

"Unlike most rockstars like Roger who think everything after 1979 basically became trash music with the rise of pop or as they called it 'disco'. I'm a little more open minded. But I deny all songs that use explicit language every three words, degrading women, or promotes violence."

"You even got some old Christina Aguilera songs on here?" asked Rami.

"Who do you think helped produce her?"

"Shut the front door. You produced Christina Aguilera?"

"Yeah. I even gave her rights to a song that I wanted to do. But even singing it brought back some old wounds. So since I was helping her produce her album at the time, I turned to song over to her."

"What song was it?" asked Ben.

"Fighter."

"Shut up! That was literally my jam."

"I can attest to that. Throughout the filming of The Pacific, he would never shut that song off when getting into Eugene's character for certain episodes." Rami rose his hand.

"Yeah. I have an entire playlist of some songs I helped produce or make. You can play that playlist if you'd like. Or my typical playlist my boys best songs."

"I think in the light of our first day filming, we should go with Queen. What do you guys say?" Joe asked.

"Agree."

"Yep."

"Oh yeah."

"Aright then Joe, we'll each pick our favorite Queen song. You're up first little Tim." He grinned and scrolled through my playlist until Somebody to love came up on the speakers. "Read my mind Joseph." The piano began playing and that's when I vocalized alongside Freddie and the five of us began singing the song at the top of our lungs.

The entire car ride contained each of us picking our top favorite songs. Ben did 'White Queen' which I commended on him cause people nowadays tend to forget the old Queen songs, Gwilym picked Love of my Life, Rami chose Radio Gaga, and I, of course chose Bohemian Rhapsody.

Thanks to Wayne's world (yes I saw the movie and yes it was silly but just the opening scene alone made the movie worth watching) we basically did the same motion by motion that those boys did in the film when the operatic section came on. And of course when the headbanging rock out came on, the boys proceeded to bang their hands while I did mine not as aggressively (responsible driving kids!)

We continued to rock out to the song and it wasn't until by the end of the song that we soon arrived at my home. I pulled the car up into the garage and hit the clicker button which opened up the garage door and I pull inside just as the last line came up and Roger's gong rang off. I shut the engine and said.

"Here we are boys, welcome to casa de la Kline." We all exited out of my car and right behind us as scheduled were Brian and Roger with Bri getting out of the driver's seat. "Bout time you two got here, I was beginning to worry that I'd need to call in an ambulance."

"We're old dear, not dead." Roger sassed at me.

"But I still love you old coots. Just like I said all those years ago."

"That I do remember, the day right after you got so shitfaced after your 21st birthday. You remember that Brian?" Roger said.

"Indeed I do Rog, I even remember what we did to her to get her to apologize, think we need to do it again?"

"That might have to be arranged."

"Oh no you guys don't! We're not doing that now, now let's get inside before we all catch a cold." I guided them all inside. Once we stepped through the backdoor of the garage I could already smell something cooking, and I knew who exactly was cooking at this rate. "Baby! I'm home!" I called out from the hallway.

We turned the corner and soon came to the kitchen where a young man of 19 (going on 20 in a couple months) stood by the oven. He shut it off and turned around. He was every bit like his father when I first met him back in '83, but he had my eyes. When he saw me, he softly smiled and I came up to him.

"Sorry I didn't call in advance telling you that we would have more guests than your uncles."

"No worries mom. You know I've always cooked way more than I should." I smiled and cupped his face and we kissed each other's cheek. "Uncle Brian, uncle Roger."

"Hello Fred." Brian greeted.

"Hey lad, how's school been?"

"Oh you know, NYU's a challenge but I manage." He then directed his attention towards the young actors but when he eyes landed on Rami, he quickly grabbed my arm and whispered to me. "You didn't tell me you'd be bringing Rami Malek to our house!"

"Again slipped my mind." I teased him.

"Mom how dare you bring my celebrity crush here without telling me, look at me I'm a mess."

"Oh you're fine. Now best behavior." I wrapped an arm around my son and said. "Boys, this is my youngest son Freddie Mercury Kline. Fred, these are the boys that will be playing your uncles. This is Joe Mazzello, he'll be playing your uncle Deacy. Ben Hardy who's playing your old uncle Roger."

"Watch it lion cub." Rog warned me. I gave him a cheeky look before continuing the introductions.

"Gwilym Lee will be playing your uncle Brian, and you know Rami, he'll be playing the man you were named after."

"Uncle Freddie?"

"Yes. And—from what I've seen so far, you'll finally get to meet him through the screen."

"I don't doubt that. I'm a big fan of yours Rami, your role in Mr. Robot has been—amazing."

"I'm honored."

"Alright since we've all had a long day today, let's get some grub. Everyone grab a plate." I grabbed some extra plates from the cabinet and handed four plates out to the actors and we all assembled around the island to grab a piece of lasagna, peas, mashed potatoes with gravy and Hawaiian rolls.

Once we gathered around the table I set out the iced tea Jack had made a couple of days ago as well as some champagne or wine. "Okay guys, before we dig in I want all hands on deck." I extended my hand out.

Freddie immediately placed his hand on top of mine, Brian and Rog soon followed after and it was then Rami, Gwilym, Joe and finally Ben placed their hands on top.

"Thank you for this family, thank you for this meal. Thank you for this day. It'll be a wild ride, but I feel this movie will soar, and—that this new family will forever stay." I said ending the traditional family prayer. The young actors looked at me with warm eyes and soft smiles.

"Alright, let's dig in. You boys will never eat the same way again once you taste (y/n)'s cooking." Roger said.

"That bad?" joked Joe. I gawked at the young cheeky actor.

"On the contrary she's the best chief on this side of London. Even when she was an intern she made us this one Christmas pudding that was to die for." Brian spoke on my behalf.

"It's true. She put all the other PTA mom's to shame when it came to my school's bake sales." Freddie said as he took a bite of his lasagna.

The entire dinner was filled with talks about our lives, stories and embarrassing moments in life. Not a single person was excluded from a conversation. After dinner, Rami and Gwilym helped Freddie with the dishes while I got some other scrapbooks out and bonded a bit with Ben and Joe about my time with Rog and Deacy.

"Now this Joe was taken during my first Japan tour. At the very garden where Queen went to near the Tokyo tower, Deacy refused to let me leave without having a cherry blossom crown."

"He seems to be doing good in the picture."

"Except one twig got so tangled in my hair it literally took 15 minutes just to get it out." We both laughed before I turned the page and found a great picture of me and Roger. "Now this picture Ben, both Roger and I have this picture, this was taken after my first Hyde Park performance."

"She performed to an audience of half of what Queen did when we performed at Hyde Park." Roger spoke.

"She could've performed for more but times changed and better security measure for the public's safety prevented it from happening again." Brian added.

"One thing's for sure, I was damn well proud of her for performing at her biggest crowd at the time just barely two years into her career." Roger spoke again. I looked up and winked at him.

"You guys really do have that father-daughter bond don't you?" Joe said.

"Have ever since she gave me the real 1 and 3/7th's sugar."

"It wasn't until Brian told me the next day that Roger just says that to pull people's leg. God I felt embarrassed after that."

"Aww lovie, but it was due to that I became your favorite. And I don't regret it as I'm sure you don't."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." As Gwilym, Rami and Freddie came back in I continued going through the scrapbook sharing my photos of my days with Queen with the boys, and allowing Freddie to finally hear all the stories that he was denied cause of my grief.

As the night got darker and darker, the young actors at this moment were so full of food and exhausted from a long day's filming they actually passed out along my living room. Joe and Ben cuddled up on the couch, Rami asleep on the recliner, while Gwilym was curled up along the loveseat.

Meanwhile I was watching over them and couldn't help but think it was like seeing my boys all over again. I remember back when I was still an intern and would see the guys all passed out whether at Freddie's parties or in the studio, I always had to provide the guys comfort (which I never minded). So seeing these four young men passed out just brought me a sense of nostalgia.

"I got the spare blankets mom."

"Thank you dear. Your uncles tucked in the spare bedrooms?"

"Uncle Brian's in the room across yours and dad's and uncle Roger is in Georgie's old room."

"Good boy." I then proceeded to cover up and adjust the young actors. I wrapped both Joe and Ben in the same blanket and closed Joe's mouth gently so that he wouldn't drool in his sleep, followed by giving them each a soft kiss goodnight. Without trying to wake him up, I uncurled Gwilym from his pretzel position and covered him up.

I gingerly stroked through his hair before placing a soft kiss to his temple. He groaned and lifted his head up which allowed me to place a pillow underneath him. He hummed in content as he snuggled into it. I then went over to Rami and adjusted the seat so that he would be more comfortable. Pressing the button on our automatic recliner, his legs slowly rose up before finally stopping in full recliner mode.

I tucked him in while looking down at him. God even without the tache it was like looking at Freddie from when I first met him in person at a concert, long before I became an intern. I gently kissed his cheek before faintly stroking his cheek.

Sitting outside along the deck, Freddie and I were looking up at the stars.

"So you think this movie's gonna be a hit?"

"Critics are always hard to please, no matter if it's music or movies. From what I've read of the script yes there's misinformation but that's why it's called a biopic. There's some truth but it's the touch of Hollywood in order to make the film not a boring documentary. But those four boys, they are just how I remember your uncles being when I not only worked with them, but grew up with them hearing their music."

"I wish I had gotten the chance to meet uncle Freddie." Fred said after a brief moment of silence. I turned to him to see him looking down sadly.

"So do I love. He would've loved you as much as he did your brothers and sister. And he would've been over the moon had he found that I had named you after him." I brought my baby close and he wrapped his arms around me as we both looked up at the moon and the stars together.

The star right by the moon glowed the brightest, the very same star that shined just as bright the night after the tribute concert we did back in '92. I couldn't help as a tear slid down my face and a smile spread across my face.

I knew that it was Freddie's star, telling me that he was watching us and that he was proud.

[eunoiaths]

days like this

joe mazzello x fem!reader

word count: 1k

warnings: brief mentions of sensual content, fluff, joe being husband worthy!

summary: after a long night on your honeymoon, joe wakes you midday after a twelve-hour slumber.

a/n: still procrastinating on that soulmate au. here’s something small that i’ve been working on, (it’s very unedited). i promise a masterlist is coming out soon!

sleeping in was an irregular occasion between you and joe. balancing work and a sleep schedule wasn’t easy for him; being his girlfriend, it wasn’t necessarily easy for you either. with such busy schedules, resting soon felt like a chore to mop up, so it because a minority in your lives, especially joe’s.

so, let’s say your honeymoon was a good time to catch up.

a drowsed laziness settled into the room after a long night. a fan whirred on a low setting, brushing the curtains aside every few seconds; the midday sun stole a peek at your sleeping bodies every now and then. quiet snores from joe filled the suite, drowning out a low-droning sound from the fan. the only thing that separated your bodies were tussled sheets in between your fingers, as you snoozed deeply beside him. with a single, hour-changing ‘beep’ from an alarm clock, the peering sun met joe’s squinted eyes, causing him to groan groggily and turn over on his back. twelve hours had passed since the events of the night before. twelve hours you two had been soundly asleep, enjoying some much needed rest.

as his eyes adjusted to the light, his vision fixated on your still, dozed body that lay inches away, and a slight smile fell onto joe’s lips. he pulled you to his chest, letting his gaze close again. minutes passed, but time had stopped. joe let your sleeping frame melt in his arms, while he slowly awoke from a long slumber. “i love you.” he uttered, well-aware that your consciousness couldn’t hear him.

joe began to patch soft kisses on your neck, playing with your messy hair. he trailed them to your bare shoulders. you let out a sigh and shifted to you side, which caused him to let out a tired laugh. “y/n...” joe whispered, placing another kiss to your neck. he then took your hand, holding it in his own. joe kissed your fingers gently, one-by-one. you were out cold. “my love?” he received an empty reply, only steady breathing in his touch. joe took your face in his palm, turning it towards him. “sleepy, are you?” he mumbled, pressing a few kisses to your cheeks.

“hmm?” you hummed sweetly

“are you tired, baby?” he asked

you gave joe reposed smile, taking a few seconds to respond with a drawn out, “mhm.” your eyelids remained closed. your mind was floating, and your husband’s gentle voice only relaxed your figure even more.

“y/n? don’t fall back asleep on me now!” joe teased, “i’m bored.” he sat up, setting you in his lap. your head rested against his chest, while your arms loosely wrapped around his figure. “come on, baby.”

you lazily smacked yourself away from joe, your head hitting a pillow, “you’re so goddamn needy.”

“that was the intention, sweetheart. it’s—“ joe looked over his shoulder at an alarm clock, “one in the afternoon?”

your eyes finally drifted open, “i hate jet lag.” you complained, reaching for his hand

joe leaned over, getting in a comfortable position behind you. he placed a soft kiss to your temple, humming against your neck. “we have a tour at two, baby.”

“we have an hour.” you groaned

“we have to get ready.”

“all you have to do is put on your horrendous dad shorts.” you muttered, running your hand over his scruffy face

“hey! my dad shorts are comfortable.” joe protested

“a bit too comfortable, ya think?” you giggled, “they literally have the american flag on them.”

“that’s what makes them so cool!”

“you sound like my dad.”

a playful silence entered the room. you already knew what he was going to say.

“don’t—“

“i am your dad.”

“...i hate you.” you covered your body with the cool, cotton sheets that were tossed between you and joe. they covered your head; he pouted, following you underneath them, and pulling you on top of him.

“you love me.” joe said

you giggled, letting your arms drape above his pillow. you propped yourself up with your elbows. “i do love you, though.” you mumbled, letting your forehead lay against his.

“i love you too.” he whispered

joe finally sealed the gap between you two, moving a hand to your cheek. the kiss held just the right amount of passion for the moment. it was gentle, but meaningful, and that meant the world to you.

you couldn’t believe this man was your husband.

you were the first to pull away, a small sigh escaping your lips. “let’s stay here forever.” you suggested

joe raised his eyebrows, “france is nice, but what about new york?”

“why wouldn’t you want to stay here? it’s beautiful.” you gushed

“new york is beautiful!” he argued

“you’d say that about the gum on your shoe.” you joked, “you find beauty in the ugliest of things. two words, dad shorts.”

he chuckled, snaking his arms around your waist. you sighed, closing your eyes again. “i wish we could rest like this all the time.”

“me too. somethin’ nice about it.” he breathed, “i need to clear my schedule for once.”

he was right. joe was going back to work the day after your honeymoon concluded. you pressed a kiss to his cheek, grazing your fingers through his messy hair, “so, let’s stay here forever.”

joe was silent for a moment, pursing his lips, “whatever you say, my wife.”

my wife. god, that sounded absolutely heavenly to you.

“jeez, i can’t get over that.” you said

“get over what?” he asked

“we’re married now.”

joe grinned, “—we are married now. god, i love you so much.” he paused, smirking, “so, d’you have fun last night?”

“let’s get ready for the day.” you said

“of course you did.”

“shut up, mazzello.”

“that’s your last name too now, y’know!”

[forever-rogue]

London Boy - Part 10

Summary: Social media au in which Y/N is a history student, who along with her best friends Joe and Rami, has moved to London for her last year of school. Shenanigans abound when she meets (quite accidentally) her new favorite London Boy, Ben Jones.

A/N: Thanks for all the support so far! I hope you enjoy this part!! Please let me know what you think, or if you’d like to me tagged! xx

Pairing: Ben Jones (Hardy) x Reader

Warnings: None

MASTERLIST

LONDON BOY

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Permanent Taglist: @ruinerofcheese@courtneychicken@santa-crew@supernatural508 @ssweet-empowerment@nerissa98@jamesbarnesappreciationsociety@buckybarnesappreciationsociety@mannatgalhotra@prxttybirdz@piensa-bonito@mightyhemsworthy@shewalksinanotherworld@jems8241@bookaddic@fairyxxfighter@asguardiansoftheavengers@esoltis280 @the-bright-lights@artisticlales@loislp@dixonsbugaboo@sleepylunarwolf@patzammit@thisismysecrethappyplace@princess-evans-addict@bookgirlunicorn@makapaka11@bornfortherainydays@avipshamitra@justanewqueensfan@yourealegendroger@anna1523@thesecondlastjedi@bitemerog@rogernroll@secretsweetscollectionblog@sheridans-dynamos@dinkiplier@deacontaylormercurymay-blog @starrystarrybabe  @musical-prostitute-my-dear@onexlittlespark@benhardyseyes@marvelstuck@whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes@wonderwich @sunflower-borhap-boys @reedusteinrambles @a-kind-of-magik@lv7867@itissnowingandimstuckinside@brian-may-be@dessert-hardy@rogertaylors-lipgloss@rogerfxckingtaylor@queenbbarnes@luvborhap@drowseoftaylor@persephonesnebula@mamaskillerqueen @leatherjacketmazzello @theimpossiblehologramtree @discodiscodeaky @loveandbeloved29 @meddows-rose​ @onceitbubbles​

LB Taglist: @crazyweirdocalledfriday @justgivemethekeys @deacyspatronusisacheesetoastie @missfrenchrose @taylorroger-s @cardboard-ben​ @lcvetaylor​ @queentrashcanfics​ @escabell​ @borhapbxtch​ @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @valeriecarolinaw​ @catch-a-deak​

[sokkas-first-fangirl]

Freddie calls Rami about a movie he found that Rami’s in to ask what it��s about anD RAMI IS FREAKING OUT BECAUSE HE PLAYS A LITERAL SEX WORKER AND ITS SO GRAPHIC AND INAPPROPRIATE AND HE WAS SO YOUNG GHGNHNGGJCNHC

Freddie wants names and addresses, he wants to know who thought it was appropriate to put his pseudo-baby in a movie like that!

*

“I want names,” Freddie demanded. “I want names, young man!”

“Oh, Freddie, it’s not like I was actually having sex with those guys!” Rami laughed. They were Facetiming, and the image blurred momentarily as Rami threw his head back, outright cackling.

“It was so graphic!” Freddie continued stubbornly. “There was full-frontal nudity! You were naked for most of the movie!”

“Well, I was covered with a blanket actually,” Rami pointed out with an evil little grin. He couldn’t help himself, Freddie’s reaction was just so Freddie, so dramatic and protective. “Or behind those changing screens. I wasn’t in those frontal nudity shots.”

“If you were I’d be on my way to Hollywood right now. I want names, Rami.”

“Their names are in the credits, Freddie.”

[killerqueenunderpressure]

Just a Crush - Prologue:

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Warnings: none yet

Celebrity crushes don’t mean anything, even when you run into yours in real life.

A/N: This is my first fic and while it’s just the prologue, I plan to write more very soon! Enjoy!

Celebrity crushes were stupid. You knew that, your friends knew that, the world knew it. There was a reason people made fun of them, a reason they were considered fantasies. Celebrity crushes were stupid.

And yet, you had them.

It was normal, you supposed, to be attracted to celebrities. You knew that that was part of their whole purpose in society really. Of course it made sense to look at someone like Chris Hemsworth and think wow, what a man. It made sense to look at his beauty and humour and the interviews he had done and find yourself swooning slightly. That was normal.

But a crush, a real honest to goodness crush, was a different thing. To look at someone and to think this could mean something. To see a life with a person, to imagine an existence with them next to you as something deeper than delusions of grandeur- that was was stupid. Crushes are for people you know, not for celebrities.

And yet...you had one.

Ben Hardy.

You couldn’t place what it was about him but had he been a boy at your school rather than a famous person, you would’ve sworn you were in love. There was something in him, something about his genuineness, his smile, his eyes, that made you feel as if you knew something real about who he was. That made you feel as if he could understand who you were. 

This feeling left you wanting and empty, upset with yourself for even thinking anything so ridiculous. Why would Ben Hardy want you? Why would Ben Hardy understand you?

Why would anyone?

You had seen him before in X-Men and hadn’t thought anything of him. If you had it was immediately forgettable to the point where you didn’t even remember the character had existed, much less who played him. But then, Bohemian Rhapsody came out.

Of course you were going to go, it was a film about Freddie Mercury for god’s sake. It was about Queen, a band you loved and grown up listening to, with a focus on a gay icon who had managed to touch so many hearts that the world still mourned him; you still mourned him. 

So you went.

You went and were absolutely enchanted by the blonde drummer. He was a good actor to be sure, but you knew it wasn’t Roger Taylor that you were enamoured with, it was the man portraying him. It was that thing in his smile, in his eyes and genuineness. That thing that made your heart ache and caused you to leave the theatre completely and utterly confused.

You found out who he was online but didn’t look into it all that much. What good would that do you? You knew he was in that other film you had seen, you knew you liked his smile and that was that. You forgot about him for a while and continued on with your life, as all people should. Celebrities are for immediate consumption, not to dwell on.

And then, without warning, you remembered him. You weren’t sure what triggered it, perhaps you were in a high-stress situation looking for comfort and your brain conjured it up in his form during a dream, or maybe you were dancing to Queen one day and remembered those eyes and that smile. Whatever it was it completely threw off your rhythm and suddenly life wasn't the same.

If you hadn’t known better, you would think you were in love.