#brainrot entered the chat

[feluart]

Everything is going to be okay 🏵️

[ripecorpsejuice]

who am I

[deliciouskeys]

I have this confessions blog blocked because it’s full of vile crap that lands in the Homelander tag and I prefer not to browse through it but someone linked me to this absolute gem from earlier this month. Wow, this is the best #prostategate 2024 post, you win, I’m in blissful tears, almost worth unblocking the account to not miss these page-long tirades.

Under the cut for low IQ and high aggression

I’m in tears. If it’s a parody, it’s a good one.

[andi-o-geyser]

this is the funniest fucking thing i've ever read

[raspberry-arev]

You know that ancient (and wonderful) Tumblr take on love triangles... where the girl is aroace and the two hot men realize they were moreless trying to impress each other and start dating instead?

Well I already subscribe to the Aroace Barbie head canon, so Greta Gerwig, 2Ken When?????

(the colors are a bit silly again but that's just my alcohol marker thing. I try, it does a thing, I might not be satisfied but it's too late now bithc) (also they would be so good for each other. himbo on himbo romance. "Kenning all over each other" in Ryan Gosling's words)

[dksfml]

LOVE 119 [PART II]

part of my paramedic!jungwon series. masterlist.

pairing: paramedic!jungwon x doctor!reader genre: enemies at work, lovers at home. secret dating. jungwon is hot when jealous, suggestive, fluff summary: your coworkers think that you and niki look cute together while jungwon, your boyfriend is literally standing next to you and it's driving him insane. word count: 3.5k author's note: hey everyone! as promised, i'm here to serve another paramedic jungwon brainrot because it's not fair to just devour this cutesy alone. enjoy and leave some notes <3 read part 1 first and reply if you want to get tagged for the next parts!

You’re midway through a lukewarm coffee in the hospital cafeteria when your coworker leans in, voice low and eyes gleaming with intrigue. “So…” she starts, drawing the word out slowly, “who’s the lucky guy?”

It takes you a second, but the question sinks in just as she tilts her head, nodding toward your neck with a smirk. Your hand instinctively rises to the spot Jungwon’s lips had claimed last night, right at the juncture of your neck and shoulder—a parting gift as you’d curled up together, something you didn’t think twice about until now.

A blush surges to your cheeks. “What? Oh, no, that’s… I scratched it too hard,” you say quickly, heat rising not only from the surprise but the memory of last night—Jungwon’s sleepy grin, the way he’d pulled you close, whispering in your ear as he pressed soft kisses down the curve of your neck.

“Sure you did,” she teases, crossing her arms as her smirk widens. “You’re going to need a better excuse than that. So… is it Niki?”

“What?” you laugh, the idea so out of the blue it’s almost comical. “Niki? Why would you even think that?”

She shrugs, the smugness on her face never faltering. “You always have a soft spot for him. You never scold him like the rest of us. Plus, everyone’s seen the way he hovers around you in the halls, he’s clearly smitten.”

Your eyes widen at the notion. Niki, your young, eager junior who fumbles his way through shifts and who you can’t help but look after because he’s new and a little too starry-eyed for his own good? It’s laughable. “It’s not like that,” you manage, shaking your head. “He’s just… young, that’s all.”

“Mhmm,” she says with a knowing chuckle. “Sure, if you say so.”

Before you can protest further, your phone vibrates. Glancing down, you find a message from Jungwon: a photo of his lunch, neatly arranged with a sweet message beneath it. “Eat well, ily.”

The casual intimacy of it makes your stomach flip, and you feel an involuntary smile tugging at your lips. You quickly swipe away the notification, hoping she didn’t see the smile or the faint hearts in your eyes.

The day unfolds in the usual rush of patient check-ins, chart updates, and emergency calls. You busy yourself to the point where the cafeteria conversation drifts from your mind—until you catch a glimpse of yourself in the break room mirror and spot the faint outline of that now-infamous hickey, the concealer having barely managed to mask it. You tug your collar higher, hoping to hide it through the rest of the shift.

The afternoon in the ER has been a blur of movement and urgency, leaving you barely a moment to breathe. Every time an ambulance pulls up, your heart skips a beat, half-hoping, half-dreading that it’ll be Jungwon walking through those doors.

But each time, it’s someone else, and you return to the steady rhythm of your work, instructing Niki at your side as he follows your lead. Despite the tense environment, he’s attentive and focused, learning from you as he manages each step of the patient’s treatment with remarkable ease.

Afterward, you and Niki head back to the department office, the adrenaline settling as you both chat lightly, unwinding from the chaotic pace. As you enter, you spot Jungwon down the corridor, heading the other way with a stack of documents.

It’s almost comical how, even amidst the bustling hospital, his presence stands out so starkly to you. For a split second, he glances your way, and the fleeting moment feels charged, pulling your attention and making it impossible to look away. But as soon as your eyes meet, you glance down, hoping no one notices how that brief connection leaves your pulse racing.

Once back at your desk, you feel your coworkers’ eyes on you, their curious glances flickering between you and Niki. You try to brush it off as nothing, settling into your usual seat, with Niki across from you. Just as you’re starting to sift through some files, Jungwon’s familiar stride enters the department office.

His easy confidence fills the room, and he greets everyone with that understated charm, heading to a nearby colleague to ask for specific documents. You’re not even looking at him, but his presence is impossible to ignore. You focus on your papers, hoping that looking busy might steady your nerves, but the pages blur in front of you, your mind too distracted by the fact that he’s just a few steps away.

Then, just as you’re juggling a pile of documents, you accidentally knock over your iced coffee. The mostly empty cup clatters over, spilling what’s left onto your coat. The moment the coffee splashes onto your coat, Niki and Jungwon are both at your side in an instant. Niki’s quick to pull out a box of tissues, while Jungwon silently holds out a pristine handkerchief, a touch of annoyance already flickering in his gaze.

Caught off-guard, you instinctively reach for Niki’s tissues, leaving Jungwon standing there with his handkerchief, his jaw tightening slightly as he watches you dab at the stain.

Your coworkers notice the scene and immediately latch onto it, their laughter filling the room. "Oh, come on, you two," one of them teases, grinning at the pair of you. "Why don’t you just date already?”

Another chimes in, "Yeah, it’s obvious there’s something going on. I mean, look how attentive Niki is—always ready to help you out."

You wave them off, laughing it away, but the teasing only grows louder. Someone else playfully nudges Niki. "What’s next, bringing her coffee in the morning?"

Niki laughs, scratching the back of his head, visibly flustered. "Come on, guys, we’re just… coworkers," he insists, though his blush only adds fuel to the fire.

Meanwhile, you can feel Jungwon’s gaze on you, sharper and more intense than ever. His silence speaks volumes; the usual relaxed confidence he carries seems to be tinged with something harder, a jealousy that simmers just beneath the surface. It unsettles you, tugging at something guilty inside as the teasing around you grows.

Suddenly, Jungwon steps forward to you, interrupting the chatter with a clipped tone. "Enough with the tissues,” he says, leveling his gaze at you, a glint of challenge in his eyes. "Stop fussing with that coat—you’re only making it worse. Change into something clean, or the smell will stick with you all day.”

The room falls silent, your coworkers exchanging amused glances. You roll your eyes, unwilling to let him get the last word.

“Oh, thank you, Mr. Practicality. I can handle a few drops of coffee,” you retort, folding your arms and meeting his gaze with a defiant tilt of your chin.

He raises an eyebrow, a slow smirk forming on his lips.

"Right, because dealing with a coffee stain is something you’re well-prepared for," he says dryly, folding his arms to match yours. "Clearly, practicality isn’t your strong suit."

You scoff, refusing to back down. "And since when did you become an expert in coffee stain management? It’s barely noticeable, and I’m perfectly fine with it."

Jungwon’s gaze doesn’t waver, the challenge sparking between you both as he leans in just a fraction, his voice lower. "Just because you’re fine with it doesn’t mean everyone else is." His eyes flick down to the stain and then back up to yours, a knowing glint in them.

Your coworkers are watching with raised brows, amused but also visibly intrigued by the tension between the two of you. "Are we interrupting something?” one of them jokes, breaking the silence. "Honestly, the way you two bicker is like a married couple."

The comment makes you blush, but Jungwon doesn’t flinch. Instead, he holds your gaze, his smirk deepening. "At least one of us knows how to handle these little emergencies,” he quips, voice steady, though there’s a hint of something raw behind his eyes—a hint of jealousy that only you can catch. The way he’s looking at you, there’s no mistaking it: he’s anything but amused by the teasing around Niki.

But before you can respond, Niki steps forward, awkwardly placing his coat over your chair. “Um, here,” he says, clearly trying to ease the tension. “You can wear mine for now if the coffee’s bothering you that much.”

The room erupts into more laughter, someone nudging Niki with a grin. "See? He’s a gentleman. Really, you two should just make it official."

Another coworker teases, "Or maybe they already have, and they’re just not telling us."

Jungwon’s expression hardens as he watches the exchange, his eyes narrowing. His gaze flickers from Niki to you, a frustration simmering beneath his calm facade.

You feel the tension growing, an almost tangible weight of jealousy in the way his jaw clenches, his fingers tapping restlessly against his thigh.

Finally, he speaks up, cutting through the laughter with a controlled but slightly irritated tone. "Enough of the matchmaking." His gaze falls pointedly on you, something possessive flickering there, though he masks it quickly. "And you should change. That coffee smell won’t just vanish."

You narrow your eyes at him, refusing to back down. "If it bothers you so much, why don’t you bring me a change of clothes yourself?"

"Thanks," he says shortly, taking the stack of paperwork with a polite nod. He turns back to you and your coworkers, offering a quick, “See you all later. Take care, everyone.” His voice is casual, but as his gaze lingers on you for a fraction of a second longer, you feel the weight of everything left unsaid.

With that, Jungwon strides toward the door, his usual self-assured calm back in place. You watch him leave, but just as he reaches the exit, your phone buzzes in your hand. You glance down, your pulse quickening as you read the message from him:

“I have something you can change into in the back of the car.”

It’s simple, yet there’s something about it that makes your stomach flip. You glance up just in time to catch Jungwon’s silhouette disappearing down the hallway, feeling the tension of the moment linger in the air long after he’s gone.

The rest of your shift rolls by with its usual demands, and you brush off the incident from earlier, deciding against getting the change of clothes Jungwon offered. By the time you finally clock out, the sun is setting, casting a warm glow over the nearly empty parking lot. Just as you step out of the hospital doors, Jungwon’s car pulls up in front of the exit.

You feel a small smile tugging at your lips as you walk over and slip into the passenger seat. “Hey,” you greet him, but his focus remains straight ahead, his hands firm on the wheel, his paramedic uniform clinging to his form. The sight of him in that navy blue uniform, complete with the badge and patches, usually makes your heart race, but today his expression is unreadable. A flicker of surprise hits you. Jungwon, who is usually quick with a playful remark, doesn’t even turn his head as you settle in, leaving you feeling a bit deflated.

You tilt your head, watching him closely, noticing the slightest crease of annoyance in his brow. With a slight pout, you try breaking the ice, “So, how was your day?”

He answers, but his tone is clipped, barely more than a few words. "Busy. The usual."

You blink, feeling a hint of tension in the air. Normally, he’d be cracking jokes or filling the car with easy chatter, but now he’s focused on the road with a seriousness that feels almost uncharacteristic.

Leaning back in your seat, you give him a sideways glance. “Is this about the clothes?” you finally ask, crossing your arms as you look at him. “Are you upset I didn’t change into them?”

A quick denial. “No,” he says, a bit too fast, but still refusing to look your way.

You can’t help but smile a little, noticing his hands gripping the wheel tighter than usual. “Uh-huh. Doesn’t sound like you’re not upset,” you tease, leaning forward to get a better look at his face.

“I’m not upset,” he repeats, but he’s biting his lip, eyes fixed stubbornly ahead as if he’s hyper-focused on the road. His brow furrows, and he lets out a soft sigh.

“Come on, Jungwon, it’s cute when you sulk,” you say, your smile widening at the way his jaw clenches ever so slightly, revealing his irritation in the most subtle way.

This finally gets a reaction. He glances at you, his eyes narrowing just a little. “I’m not sulking,” he mumbles, but the denial lacks its usual conviction.

“You look pretty sulky to me,” you murmur, enjoying the rare moment of catching him off guard.

Just then, the car comes to a stop at a red light, and you glance over to find him holding a long breath, his expression somewhere between frustration and fondness. The tension in the air shifts slightly as he turns his gaze towards you, and in that moment, you feel the familiar flutter of butterflies in your stomach.

Without breaking eye contact, he places his right hand gently on your lap, rubbing small circles with his thumb. The warmth of his touch sends a jolt of electricity through you, igniting that familiar spark between you two. It’s a simple gesture, yet it feels so intimate, especially with the way he’s staring at you as if he’s trying to convey everything he can’t say out loud.

He resumes driving as the light turns green, keeping his eyes fixed on the road ahead, but his voice softens, a hint of vulnerability slipping through the usual bravado. “I’m not upset,” he assures you, though the sincerity behind his words hints at something deeper, something he’s wrestling with beneath the surface.

You can’t help but smile at him, the weight of his earlier mood lifting slightly. “Then what’s with the whole silent treatment? You know you can just tell me, right?”

Jungwon shakes his head, a faint smile creeping onto his face despite his mood.

“It’s more complicated than that,” he says, his voice maintaining a lightness that’s undercut by an earnest edge. “I don’t want to be the guy who gets all worked up over people assuming you and Niki are a thing.”

You bite your lip, the realization sinking in that his jealousy is more about their perceptions than the spilled coffee earlier.

“Well, I’m definitely not dating Niki,” you reply softly, trying to ease his tension. “He’s just a good coworker. You know that.”

He glances at you briefly, the corner of his mouth twitching in a smile as he focuses back on the road.

“Good,” he mutters, his hand still gently rubbing your thigh, sending tingles coursing through you. The intimacy of the gesture makes your heart race.

He passes another intersection and accelerates, the car moving smoothly through the streets.

“But you know,” you continue, trying to keep the mood light, “if you were just a little quicker with your offer, I wouldn’t have to deal with all this teasing.”

Jungwon lets out a soft chuckle, the tension in the car easing slightly. “I thought I was quick enough,” he says, a playful tone returning to his voice. “How was I supposed to know you’d be so stubborn?”

“Stubborn? Me? Never,” you tease, rolling your eyes dramatically.

He shakes his head with a laugh, his grip tightening slightly on your thigh, a subtle reminder of the unspoken bond between you two. As he navigates the streets, the silence stretches comfortably, punctuated only by the soft hum of the engine and the occasional sound of traffic.

“Hey, you should know,” you add after a moment, “if you want to make sure I’m not wearing Niki’s clothes, maybe you should just… keep me in yours.”

Jungwon raises an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Is that your way of saying you want me to dress you?”

“Maybe,” you reply coyly, biting your lip again, the playful banter making you feel bold.

He laughs, shaking his head as he pulls into a quiet parking lot. “You really know how to make me feel like I’m the jealous one, huh?”

“Just speaking the truth,” you say, leaning back into the seat, enjoying the rhythm of the moment.

As he turns off the engine, the atmosphere shifts slightly, the playful banter fading into a more intimate silence. Jungwon finally meets your gaze, his expression earnest. “Just so you know, it’s not about Niki. I just…” he trails off, searching for the right words. “I want to be the one you lean on, the one you trust.”

Your heart swells at his confession, a warmth spreading through you. “You are, Jungwon. You’re the one I always want to lean on.”

He smiles, a genuine light returning to his eyes, and in that moment, everything feels right.

When you arrive at your apartment, Jungwon opens the door for you, the familiar scent of your space washing over you. As soon as you step inside, he follows closely behind, and before you can even set your bag down, he closes the door and turns to face you.

In an instant, the air between you shifts. Jungwon steps forward, his hands gripping your waist as he pulls you closer. You barely have time to react before he captures your lips with his in a deep, passionate kiss that takes your breath away. The world outside fades away, leaving just the two of you and the electric tension that crackles in the air.

His lips move against yours with a fervor that surprises you, and you feel your heart racing, responding instinctively as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He deepens the kiss, his mouth coaxing yours open as he explores the sweetness of your taste. It’s intoxicating, and you lose yourself in the moment, your worries and doubts melting away.

In the midst of the kiss, he breaks away for just a moment, breathless and looking down at you with those soft eyes. “I can still smell the coffee,” he murmurs, his voice husky with desire, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

You giggle, feeling heat rise to your cheeks, the reminder of the earlier incident making you giddy. “Well, I didn’t exactly plan for that to happen,” you reply, your voice teasing but breathless.

“Maybe I should get you a proper change of clothes next time,” he quips, his eyes sparkling with mischief. But then he adds, more seriously, “You should probably take those off; the smell will cling to you.”

His suggestion sends a thrill through you, and you find yourself biting your lip in excitement. “Are you sure that’s the only reason you want me to take them off?” you tease, your heart racing as you lean closer, feeling the warmth radiating from him.

He chuckles softly, but there’s a glint of something deeper in his eyes. “Okay, maybe it’s a little selfish,” he admits, his breath ghosting over your skin as he moves in even closer.

With a playful grin, you decide to indulge him. “Fine, but only if you do too,” you say, your fingers finding the buttons of his uniform. You start to unbutton it, your hands trembling slightly with anticipation. Each button that comes undone reveals more of his toned physique, and your breath hitches as you take in the sight of him.

As your fingers glide over the fabric, Jungwon watches you, his expression a mixture of desire and admiration. “You know, this might be the best idea you’ve ever had,” he murmurs, his voice low and enticing.

You finally push the uniform off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. In that moment, the playful atmosphere shifts into something more intimate. He captures your lips again, and you feel the heat between you both intensify as you pull away the last barriers that had been keeping you apart.

Just when you think it can't get any more intense, he pulls back slightly, his forehead resting against yours, both of you gasping for air. “I’ve wanted to do that all day,” he admits, his breath mingling with yours, creating a palpable tension that thrums in the air.

“Why didn’t you?” you ask, your voice teasing yet filled with warmth.

“You know I can’t let everyone find out I’m dating the hottest doctor in the hospital, or else…” he argues, a playful grin breaking through his earlier seriousness.

“Oh, please,” you bite back with a smirk, playfully nudging him. “Like they wouldn’t notice that the ‘sexiest and charming paramedic’ is completely smitten.”

With a smile that could light up the room, you lean in for another kiss, feeling the world around you fade away once again as you get lost in him.

masterlist.

[moon4nge1]

just thinking about bombshell Azriel. Entering the villa, making everyone turn their heads. His eyes are immediately set onto you. During the challenge, he kissed you first, then came BACK around to finish off with you.

Slept alone that night, but made sure to give you a forehead kiss goodnight. He wants you and your couple to know that you are definitely on his radar. That morning, you best believe he was in the kitchen. Talking it up with the guys, "no hard feelings man, we're all here to make connections." is what he told your couple. Served you a plate of pancakes (fully cooked) with some coffee.

Now chatting it up, hes pulled you like 7 different times just to have your undivided attention. Talked with other girls, but wasn't feeling it like he was with you. No kisses though the day, no he's saving that for tonight at the fire pit.

Its now his time to shine, he gets to pick his lucky girl. Called your name so sweetly that bees probably buzzed around minuets after. Swept you off your feet when you walked up to him, literally, that man was doing the most. gave you a sweet kiss to the lips then set you down. has a shit eating grin as he sits next to you on the couch, watching as your used-to-be man now being booted off the island.

This is my brainrot from watching wayyy too much love island! This new season has me tweaking, and not in a good way. anyways bombshell azriel lives rent free in my head. give a piece of that man. not proofread, will probably write more about this man.

[elverrie]

chat, i hate to break it to you, but i lowkey think buffy summers would be fluent in gen z-alpha slang nowadays, no cap. with how she adores puns and rearranging her vocabulary for shits and giggles? oh, she definitely latches onto every new wawe of spoken english change.

spike hates that he gets it, cause they`re both fascinated with language and its fluidity and how they can play with words in their speech, giving them double meaning. plus buffy`s usage of the slang rubs off on him for sure, sometimes they both just throw their recent vocal stims at each other as a way of communication lmao (i so see buffy going out and saying to her stay at home husband "i wish you well. i wish you well in hell BWAHAHA" as a goodbye).

giles fucking hates it - we know it, no further explanation needed. i think jenny would`ve loved it :( for the same reason buffy loves and spike tolerates it, and she would`ve joyfully annoyed giles every day.

willow tries to get it, but then she enters the waters of skibidi toilet - and she is immediately broken. but she likes buffy`s enthusiasm!

tara always just nods politely and awkwardly smiles at buffy. "you`re doing amazing, sweetie" type of vibe.

xander tries to be hip with the kids, but he sounds like a creepy boomer. just take an l, man, and go take a nap.

dawn is a millenial, she has a long way to go... no but fr, i think she is kinda like buffy and understands 70% of what buffy or the kids are saying and that`s fine by her, she can correctly use the phrases until they get purely brainrotted.

angel understands shit. this dude ate rats in ny, but he wouldn`t be able to understand even yo mama jokes.

buffy: chat, we need to lock the fuck in with researching this new big bad, cause i just lowkey almost got cooked.

xander: yeah, if it weren`t for the goat over there, xan-the-man, you would`ve gotten yourself into some fine shyt.

spike: don`t be pressed over it, she gets it every day, hits different everytime, right, honey?

willow: wait... isn`t fine shyt actually-

buffy: xan, i`m so sorry to break it to you, but you`re legit giving delulu for real right now.

giles: ... i`m not even asking you to be normal people, i`m just asking you to speak proper english for at least 10 minutes, good god.

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Dad!Lee Minho x F!Reader TW : pregnant reader ; one child ; just fluff ; the fluffiest fluff ; Word Count : 2.3k Request : Anonny : Can we have more dad lee know 🥹 after the newest skz family ep dad lee know has taken over me A/N : Gonna make this in headcanon mode so that I can give multiple examples, I can't focus on just one. The Minho brainrot has gotten to me!

Dad Lee Know who announced your pregnancy through bubble and took an hour and half a bag of kitty treats just to line Soonie, Doongie, and Dori up around your positive pregnancy test. The only caption was “I’ve been promoted from cat dad to real dad.” 

Dad Lee Know who keeps the pregnancy tracker app on his phone because he wants you to have enough storage on your phone to take constant pictures of belly updates. He sends you a text every time a week passes letting you know what the baby is the size of. Your favorite text was probably the random “BASEBALL!!!” text, it took you a good five minutes to understand what it meant since he didn’t elaborate. 

Dad Lee Know who comes home from work every day and gives your belly kisses, telling his little baseball sized baby that he missed them dearly. He says it’s so that they get used to hearing it already and they’ll know what it means when they come out. 

Dad Lee Know who plans his entire schedule around your doctors appointments, making sure that he’s able to make it to each and every one of them. He and Chan almost got into a fight because Chan accidentally said the wrong date for practice. He even wrote the appointment dates on the staff calendar so they knew not to schedule anything for those days. 

Dad Lee Know who had playfully made a bet with the guys about the gender of his child. He said he had thought it was, and he had wanted a boy, but when it was revealed that he was having a daughter he had cried tears of joy and excitedly wrote in the group chat that he’d give the guys the money he owed them for the bet after he took you out to eat. 

Dad Lee Know who started decorating the nursery for his daughter the day after the appointment, declaring that the nursery would be fit for a princess… And then proudly stating that his daughter is a princess already. She was going to be spoiled beyond belief. 

Dad Lee Know who had bought a heart doppler just so that he could lay in bed at night beside you with his headphones on listening to the sound of his daughter's rapid heartbeat. (He had also googled on the first night if it was normal for a baby's heartbeat to be almost 170bpm in the womb… It is normal.) 

Dad Lee Know who took paternity leave 3 weeks before your due date because he had read that by that time the baby could come at any point and he didn’t want to take any chances of missing the moment. 

Dad Lee Know who put on a strong face when your water broke while you both were out shopping for more baby clothes. On the inside he was freaking out, but he was staying calm for you. 

Dad Lee Know who held your hand on the ride to the hospital, tears already pricking his eyes knowing that his baby girl would soon enter this world and he’d be able to hold her. 

Dad Lee Know who freaked out a little bit (a lot) when he saw his daughter's head crowning, he was about to faint, so he opted to stay up close to your head through the rest of the delivery because he wanted to be conscious when she fully came out. 

Dad Lee Know who told you that you were doing amazing and how proud he was of you even though you were being so mean during the delivery. He understood though, it looked like it hurted a lot. He was so proud to call you his wife. 

Dad Lee Know who’s hand was shaking as he cut the umbilical cord, his breath was held, but that was the moment that he truly felt like a dad, like a father. He finally let the breath out when the cord was cut. 

Dad Lee Know who cried harder than you when he heard his daughter’s first cries. 

Dad Lee Know who begged you to let him hold her first, and you were honestly so tired that you didn’t even have the energy to say no. 

Dad Lee Know who almost filled up his phone storage completely on his daughter's first day on earth because he couldn’t stop taking pictures of her. She was so beautiful, he had hearts in his eyes the moment he laid them on her. She was precious to him and he let the world know it. 

Dad Lee Know who sent a picture of her to the group chat with the caption “I made this! So did Y/N, but look at her! Look what we made!” In that moment he had created a team of uncles that would promise to protect her just as much as Minho would. 

Dad Lee Know who woke up every night with his daughter because he didn’t want to miss a moment with her. He also knew that you needed your sleep, you had done all of the hard work, the least he could do is let you get some rest. 

Dad Lee Know who introduced his daughter to his cats as their new sister. “She’s not old enough to play yet, so be nice. You can look, but don’t touch. Okay?” It seemed like they understood him though, they would sit around her swing and stare at her, almost like they were guarding her or watching out for her, and they would only move away when you or Minho picked her up. 

Dad Lee Know who would get slightly sad when you would breastfeed his daughter because it was one of the things he couldn’t do. He surprised you with a breast pump because he wanted her to know he could give the milk too, just… In bottle form. 

Dad Lee Know who immediately felt guilty about the breast pump because it looked painful and he didn’t want you to be sore. The only time you did it now was when you knew you were going out and you wanted to have the milk ready. 

Dad Lee Know who almost threw up the first time he changed her diaper. After he was done it looked like he had lost about 20 years which was hysterical to you. All of the guys heard about it and they clowned him for it for a good bit. 

Dad Lee Know who cried his eyes out the night before his paternity leave was over. He didn’t want to go back to work, he didn’t want to spend a single moment away from you or his daughter, the thought that he might miss something was devastating to him. 

Dad Lee Know who had attempted to sneak his daughter to work with him in the baby wrap carrier, and then crying even more when you caught him and told him he couldn’t, at least not until she was a couple months older. 

Dad Lee Know who refused to believe that his daughter was already five months old when the day came around. He was a softie and he didn’t like to think that his baby girl was growing already, he wanted her to stay little forever. 

Dad Lee Knowwho brought home a “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament when he came home from work and then proceeded to cry his eyes out because “where did the time go? Tell her to stop growing.” 

Dad Lee Know who went all out for her first birthday party which he wanted to be princess themed because, alas, she was his princess. He took pictures and videos all day, and then that night when she was fast asleep, he laid in bed beside you, choked up and sniffling as he told you that he felt like he was missing too much of her life because of his job. 

Dad Lee Know who had been the one to see her take her first steps and jokingly flaunted that you had missed it… But then quickly apologized when he saw that it upset you and pulled out his phone because he had managed to record it. The group chat also got the video, they were constantly in the loop about everything that she did. 

Dad Lee Know who demanded that you and his daughter be allowed to go on tour with him and the guys, and then giving management the ultimatum that it was the three of you, or none of you at all. That was his daughter's first plane trip. 

Dad Lee Know who death stared at anyone that even looked slightly annoyed when your daughter got a little cranky on the plane. He kept her on his lap the whole time and bounced her and sang to her so that you’d have a comfortable flight. 

Dad Lee Know who talked only about you and his daughter when he had the chance to during concerts. If fans had a problem with it, he didn’t really care. You and his baby were the most important things in his life right now, and you always would be. If the fans didn’t like hearing about it, they could leave. 

Dad Lee Know who personally wrote a song about you and his daughter, and with the help of Chan, Changbin, and Jisung, he was able to have it finished just in time for your anniversary. 

Dad Lee Know who woke up every morning to make breakfast for his daughter and pack her lunch when she was old enough to go to school. 

Dad Lee Know who was the only father crying in a sea of mothers (including you) when it was her first day of kindergarten. He didn’t want to let go of her hand, and you had to practically pry his fingers off. 

Dad Lee Know who took an entire day off work that day just so he could cuddle up with you and cry to you about how empty and quiet the house felt without her there. 

Dad Lee Know who was the first parent up at the school every single day, waiting a whole hour out on the bench in front of her classroom door with a snack and a brand new stuffed animal. That’s how her stuffed animal collection began. 

Dad Lee Know who would sit on the floor next to his daughter's bed and read her bedtime stories, acting out parts of the stories with her stuffed animals because he knew it made her smile. 

Dad Lee Know who fell asleep one night in the middle of reading the bedtime stories, his head resting on the edge of his daughters mattress, and when he woke up she was sitting on his lap and sleeping as well. He didn’t move that night and he didn’t mind the backache that came along with sleeping that way either. 

Dad Lee Know who was the loudest person in the crowd when his daughter walked across the stage for her little award for perfect grades. “THAT'S MY BABY! YES! DADDY IS SO PROUD OF YOU PRINCESS!” 

Dad Lee Know who stayed up all night to help his 6th grade daughter with her science fair project, even after she headed off to bed, he continued to work on it just to make sure she got first place. 

Dad Lee Know who about lost his shit when she got second place, you and his daughter had to usher him out of the gymnasium where everything was set up so that he wouldn’t embarrass her. 

Dad Lee Know who took you and his daughter out to dinner after the science fair mishap and told his daughter that “it doesn't matter whether you got second place or first place, you’ll always be number one to me. You’re the smartest girl I know and I’m so proud of you.” 

Dad Lee Know who would help his daughter with her homework every night, even if he spent all day practicing or recording, he was never too tired to help her. 

Dad Lee Know who would still tuck his daughter in at night and make sure her closet was shut and her night light was on when she would fall asleep no matter how old she got. 

Dad Lee Know who got choked up when his daughter graduated high school, his voice cracking when she walked across the stage and hiding his face in your shoulder so that no one would see him crying. 

Dad Lee Knowwho you had to give a speech to when his daughter said that she wanted to bring her boyfriend over to meet you and Minho. “Don’t look at him like you want to kill him, Minho.” “But what if I want to kill him? He’s trying to take my baby girl away.” “Baby, she’s 19…” “Blah blah blah I don’t want to hear it! She’s a baby!” 

Dad Lee Know who threw a massive party when his daughter got accepted into SNU. He tried to uninvite his daughter’s boyfriend, but she insisted that he come or she wouldn’t show up. 

Dad Lee Know who taught his daughter to drive. He was terrified, and she almost crashed into the curb, but he told her she was doing a great job regardless so that he didn’t break her spirits. 

Dad Lee Know who would do anything for his daughter, she is his entire life, his whole world. He loved her with his entire heart. He’s the best father in the universe, he would lay down his life for her, he would give up everything for her. She’s the greatest thing to ever happen to him, and watching her grow has been bittersweet, sad but rewarding. He wanted nothing but the best for her, and he’d make sure that no matter how old he got, or how old she got, he’d always be there for her. 

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[fraktsify]

maki マキ ࿐ only coworkers

coworker!宏田力 x f!reader 117O : pretty boy! maki, coworkers to friends to ???, roblox kid!reader & maki, reader lowk a stalker, reader is delusional (lovingly), maki brainrot agenda, big time flirt maki, slightly jealous maki & jealous reader, maybe unrequited love ?

you were only a mere barista, so why did this pretty boy distract you?

YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHEN it happened, it just did. You had seen this pretty boy at work before, but you didn’t really see any interest in him. You only knew he was the same age as you and in college too. Everyone at work knew you were pretty outgoing and being able to easily chat it up with the other coworkers, but why was this pretty boy so hard to talk to? 

You didn’t know when you first began talking to him, it just became a habit. One work day, you didn’t talk to him; the next work day, both of you were chatting it up. Looking at him from afar, he was pretty and looking at him close, he was pretty. Damn it, he really lived up to his nickname. His dimples showed whenever he smiled, lighting up his eyes. His hard to miss height also played a key point in how people viewed him.

You came to know the pretty boy as Riki Maus, or Maki due to there being another Riki at work. On the schedule, he was labeled as RIKI M. and you definitely used that to find out his Instagram (to which you did and realized he was very attractive outside of the work uniform). His feed showed his fashionable taste in clothing, and his love for his family. Maki was definitely the perfect guy everyone thought he was. 

IT WAS A WARM SUMMERY AFTERNOON and you were waiting for your ride to pick you up from work. Damn you for not getting your license when you turned sixteen. You sat in the break room and scrolled through your phone until a presence joined you as well, taking the seat next to you. 

 ⠀⠀ “Are you on your break?” The automatic question came out of your mouth whenever you would see someone in the break room, or enter it. 

 ⠀⠀ “Yeah, I’m on my ten. Aren’t you already off?” Maki looked at you and it caused the both of you to make eye contact.

You hummed as a yes and looked back at your phone, scrolling mindlessly before he interrupted your doom scrolling of IG Reels. 

 ⠀⠀ “You play Roblox?”

 ⠀⠀ “Huh..? Oh yeah, I do.”

 ⠀⠀ “Bet. Let me add you. What’s your user?”

A small panic ran through you as you extended your hand. “Let me put in the user.”

He laughed as he looked at you, “I bet it’s something embarrassing, right?”

 ⠀⠀ “It’s not! I just don’t like saying it out loud…”

He handed you his phone and watched you put in your user. Clicking the Add Friend button, you focused back on your phone and accepted the request. Handing back his phone, he smiled and clicked on a game. 

 ⠀⠀ “Join me, while I still have time on my ten.”

As much as you tried to deny what you were hearing, you nodded and clicked his profile to join the game. It was a good two minutes of playtime before Nicholas walked into the break room and dabbed up Maki. You tried your best to ignore Nicholas and focused your attention on the game, not realizing Maki had left it as soon as Nicholas entered. You heard them talk about their college classes and before you knew it, Maki and Nicholas were walking back to clock in. 

You didn’t feel bad because for the first time, you felt seen by a guy. Yet those feelings had to be shaken; you didn’t want to be involved with another guy again, especially a pretty one at that.

YOU HAD A FEW SHIFTS together but it wasn’t anything where you two could talk. He would be clocking in, and you would be clocking out or vice versa. Okay maybe you two didn’t have shifts together but it was still something! Yet as each shift you two managed to have together, the closer you two became. There wasn’t a doubt that there were a bit of unspoken feelings between the two of you, but you were okay with how things were going. Bonding over the latest brain rot video, sharing horrid Reels to each other, and always laughing while at work. You would leave work with slightly warm cheeks contrasting with the cold breeze from outside.

Maybe, just maybe, you could get used to this pretty boy and his humor.

Grabbing the heavy items for you, leaning in to hear what you're saying, standing too close for you to smell his cologne, the lingering gazes on each other, suggestive comments, or even his winking towards you.… these were signs that were driving you crazy. You clearly flirted with him and he did too. This Japanese-German boy was hinting at something, something more for the two of you. Nevertheless, that would come and go as your friendship was built on spilling secrets and sending each other TikToks and Reels. It was just a small little crush you developed on him, so why did it hurt when he casually mentioned he had a date set for tonight?

His voice became static as he spoke, “See, I would stay longer and help you guys out, but I have a date tonight.”

The manager cooed at the young boy and decided to not push further, yet you wish he would’ve. Like a radio without a signal, you went silent upon hearing that. You hope he didn’t notice your sudden shift in demeanor and if he did, he didn’t say anything. In spite of feelings being everywhere, you had to pull through and help the next customer.

 ⠀⠀ “Oh hey Yuma! It’s odd seeing you this early in the day. Did you still want your usual?”

Yuma, your regular in the evening, kept in a laugh. “It is a bit early, isn’t it Y/N? And yes, I’ll be having my usual. Oh! Did I tell you about how I finally got…”

Yuma went on and on about his new collectible he managed to finally pull in a blind box, and it brightened your face a lot, which was quickly noted by Maki. Yuma’s drink was quickly called and he excused himself before grabbing it. Waving you goodbye, you smiled back at him and told him to have a good day.

 ⠀⠀ “Someone’s quite popular,” Maki spoke behind you, “I would start to think you’re interested in him.”

 ⠀⠀ “Who? Oh, you mean Yuma? He’s sweet but he’s not really…” You glanced at Maki, “my type of guy.” 

 ⠀⠀ Maki gave you his signature smile before turning on his heel to begin brewing the next batch of coffee, “We’ll see about that, Y/N.”

Maki wasn’t yours to begin with, even with that date he has. Your eye follows his every move as you stand still, taking in all of him. Maki’s red cheeks match with yours, and you found yourself getting warmer whenever you two talk. Too many girls think he’s pretty, that just goes with his charm. Your eyes linger on Maki too much, you might start to think you’re being obvious, but not obvious enough for him.

But you’ll like him anyway.

written by monica (fraktsify) —  &.  NOTES   ›   my first post!!! so happy, i seriously didn’t think i would ever post on here. pls enjoy this as this was based on true events (me). check the playlist bc this is what i feel with this fic. click the last sentence for part two :)

[cressidagrey]

Ok so. Please expect three different asks for three different chapters from me in explicit detail of howuvh emotionally unstable and gross I jam.

This one of for the newest chapter. Iust inform you that I have resorted to taking notes because I can't keep track of my own brain.u brain is basically scrambled eggs at this point. I will ad picture of my notes, just promise you won't think I'm an obsessed crazy person and block me forever.

1. Something from the previous chapter that struck strange to me was the use of "even Ferrari didn't remember" implying that's way more scandalous than your moder forgetting your birthday. I don't really get your thought process behind that one. I mean that's her mom. Her MOTHER.

2. Alex and Charlotte textassage making list is of potential suitors for Belle like it's pride and prejudice and they are at pemberly vetting out eligible bachelors with good prospects for her.

2.1. Fernando is a very good option. If Belle wasn't so madly in love with max I would actually be so on board with the Spanish lover trop. But the impending doom of daddy kink is killing the vibes. (Fernando seems like he would be more into fiery women anyways - insert kiss with a fist song.)

2.2. Lewis... Maybe. Yes. I think... I need more convincing. He has prospects yes but I think they are both way to quit. I think the need a little bit of chaos each.

2.3 casually saying no to max? That's just hilarious. I mean she hangs out with his dad. His father. With Jos. That has to count as something. Please girls see the truth.

2.4 Valterri Bottas mullet slander? Unacceptable. The man is a sex god in bikini. He is peak performance. He is Adonis in modern days.

3. 12 days and no birthday celebration from family. Listen if it were me I would set the house on fire. I am a spoiled rotten only child who plans her own gift list from 6months prior. I could never survive this.

4. Max - casually dropping actually 🤓☝ I got married in an interview - Verstappen. He will be the death of me. Put it on my tombstone. Dead by casual bomb dropping of fictional max Verstappen.

5. Christian - To whom? - Horner. (Who says to whom. Who keeps track of proper grammar when your number one driver and multi wolf champion says he got married on a random Saturday.) - what are you George Russle?

6. Helmt - corps - Marko. Speaks. He has motor skills. Great. Racist grandpa is here. I will accept .

7.I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. I SAW SIGNS. I kept reading bits and thinking huh, quite pregnancy-esque. But I thought maybe not. Maybe I'm reading to much. But no. I was right. I knew it. (Also 12 weeks? Second trimester? Already has a heartbeat? My god. My god. My god. My god.)

7.1. Soon expect poorly made college of baby room.

8. MRS. VERSTAPPEN. KILL ME. THAT'S SO HOT. I NEED THAT. LET HER CHANGE HER INSTAGRAM TO IT.

9. I never kid about matrimony. — Nico H ( because I don't know how to spell his name.) I will tatto this on my forehead.

10. Married drivers news letter. It better also come with merch. I need to be added to thatvnews Letter.

11. Every one finding out slowly but surely. We are closing the hour of our need / death. Angel of death claim my soul peacefully. Also Fernando just coming out of the shado like a master ninja guru with the powers of prophecy and The Sight™. He speaks poetry and I love it.

12. Kimi and Oli are brainrot children. They are two minions. Hitting each other with a banana peel.

12.1. How are they keep guessing and they keep making worse ones? How can they keep getting more wrong? Orange cat energy.

13. George - at this point it's performance art- Russle. He is so scandalized. Clutching pearls. Turning nose. He has turned into a judgmental, angry, righteous southern bell.

14. Kevin has entered the chat. Kevin has made a bet. Kevin has won the bet?? In the same hour? Legend behavior.

15.No word for the process of Zio Fred finally finding out. He is solemnly reevaluating his career.

16. Personally I think it wasn't technically Fred's job to know Belle's birthday. I mean yes it's polite to know. But also he is a team principal. Just the team principal if there was one person allowed to forget it's him. In Ferrari, I think we need to blame the PR people more. Technically speaking it's their job to know these things. And remind people of that. But it's really nice that he feels regret and sadness. Zio Fred is the only one I will forgive. But I am biased towards him. He is my pookie.

17. And finally. It happened. Through an interview. And he panics. Forgets all PR and makes a mess. PATHETIC.

So finally I am done. Thank you for tolerating me. I will be sending things like this more now that video decided I need to take notes to keep track of things.

As always love you. And your work.

This might just be the most elite feedback I’ve ever received. I feel like I just read an annotated dissertation titled “Why White Horse Has Permanently Altered My Brain Chemistry,” and I LIVED for every second of it. I was laughing, clutching my chest, nodding violently, and deeply honored the entire way through. Let’s break this down like the chaos scholars we are:

Ferrari vs. Pascale — you’re right. Her mother matters more that Ferrari. BUT Ferrari isn't one singular person. Ferrari are dozen upon dozen of people. And not one of them remembered. Not a PR person, not one of the engineers, not one person from hospitality. They didn't remember.

Pemberley Core™ — That’s exactly the vibe. The Mrs. Bennets of Pemberley cough The (future) Mrs. Leclercs of Monaco.

2.1. Fernando — fire sign men, am I right? The tension would be UNHINGED. But yeah, daddy issues unlocked.

2.2. Lewis — two softies = emotional whisper fights and shared skincare routines.

2.3. "She hangs out with his dad" — I SNORTED. Thank you for that. Evidence dismissed, girls. You lose.

2.4. Valtteri — I’ll see myself out for that slander. The man is art. Peak mullet energy. Nordic god.

12 Days, No Birthday — listen. If it were me? The family group chat would be on FIRE. 🔥

4–5. Max casually soft-launching matrimony in a post-race debrief — Max Verstappen: PR nightmare, emotional menace. King.

Helmut having a line of dialogue — we were all shocked. Even Helmut. (He’s still buffering.)

YOU CALLED IT — You and your spidey senses were absolutely spot on. The hints were dropped like Hansel and Gretel breadcrumbs. The baby is real. And the drama is only just beginning. Prepare for baby gear collages at dawn.

Mrs. Verstappen — tattoo it on my soul. That’s all.

Nico Hülkenberg: King of Matrimonial Gravitas. Never kid about weddings. Never.

Newsletter & Merch — consider yourself subscribed. It comes with a gold-plated pen and passive-aggressive quotes from Nico.

The Reveal Slow Burn — it's like a thriller where every page is a tiny explosion. And Fernando? He never sleeps.He just waits.

12–12.1. Kimi and Oli — literal goblins. Orange cat chaos personified. Darwin Awards contenders.

George: Southern Belle Mode™ — the pearls have been CLUTCHED. The hand fan is fluttering. Someone fetch him a chaise lounge.

Kevin — has entered the chat, placed a bet, and won it before the dust settled. Absolute icon behavior.

15–16. Zio Fred — you know what? He is not guilty. PR definitely dropped the ball. Fred just wanted peace. Justice for Zio Pookie.

The Interview Reveal™ — the PR team watching from a distance with their souls leaving their bodies.

You’re brilliant. I welcome every future annotated ask you ever send with open arms and a strong cup of tea. Please neverstop yapping, theorizing, losing your mind, or threatening fictional men in commentaries. The way you love these stories? It gives me life. Love you right back. 💛

[the-kr8tor]

Hello again!

Congrats on your one year anniversary 💐

Would it be possible to do star anise + cardamom for Hobie with❣️ for an actors!au where both the reader and Hobie were child actors who worked on a film together (like Moonrise Kingdom if you’ve watched it) and they get the biggest crushes on each other during the shoot, but one of them has to go back to their home country (like Hobie going back to England or something) and they never see each other after.

Then like 10 years later they end up meeting up again for like an actors on actors interview, and they’re trying to be professional with each other while hiding how giddy or infatuated they still are of each other 😭

Just…fluff brainrot.

Thank you!

-😅

Hehehe i hope you like it bestie!!! Thank you for being patient ❤️❤️❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader (except for clothing), established relationship, actor AU, childhood friends, fluff!

One year celebration 🎉

“Did you actually have a crush on me?” You almost choke on your water when the words escape from Hobie's smirking lips. He sits across from you, leg perched on top of the other and dressed to the nines in his own style. You'd be lying if you said you haven't been admiring him ever since he entered the studio.

“Oh, come on—” Your smile betrays you.

“Well, did you, love? That little smooch on the cheek felt way too personal.” He counteracts with a teasing look at you, brows wiggling as you reach over to his leg and smack him with the question cards that you two haven't bothered to read out loud.

It's like time didn't pass between you two, as if you were still on set together with him for eight hours a day like you were just playing pretend with your best friend. You'll never admit that you missed him, and that the second your agent brought up the idea of the interview with him, you immediately said yes. You've heard in the greenroom that he too said yes rather quickly— and you know that the famous Hobie Brown doesn't usually say yes to things like this. You're just happy to see and chat with an old friend again.

You hide your face with the card, tamping down your giggles as your cheeks warm from the sight of him. He eggs you on, nudging your heel with his boot.

“Stop, this is vintage!”

“Stop dodgin’ the bloody question then!”

The echoes of laughter spread throughout the soundstage. And the presence of the crew and staff fades in the back of your mind, as if you and Hobie were back in his trailer, playing couch co-op or reading the scripts together.

You sigh dramatically, earning another bout of laughter from him. “Fine! Yes, I did have a big crush on you!”

“I jus’ asked if you had one not how huge it was!” Hobie guffaws, slapping his thigh while you narrow your eyes at him.

“Alright.” You say with a curl of your lips, “my turn, did you have a crush on me back then?”

Without missing a beat, Hobie's expression turns a tad serious but his smile remains. “Still do, lovie. Still bloody do. A big bloody one too.”

You're speechless and he knows that he got you.

“Um,” you blink, giggling nervously as you wipe your sweaty palms on your outfit. You resist the urge to use the cards as a fan. “It's been ten years, Hobie, still?”

The air runs thick, and he sits up properly now, eyeing you softly, elbows perched on his knees. “Yeah, first love, innit?”

Tears well up in your eyes as you clutch the cards tighter. “You've always been such a little shit, Hobie Brown.” He chuckles at your words. You inhale, reaching to hold his hand that he meets you halfway with. “I missed you.”

He smiles, squeezing your hand. “Missed you too, does this mean you'll take the movie offer with me?”

“The one where it could be an oscar bait?” He nods, eyes twinkling. “You’re still fucking cheeky. Absolutely, no doubt about it now, co-star.”

[disjointed-art]

New brainrot has entered the chat

Yes I am also watching the original trigun don’t you worry I need everything of this dork

[themeraldee]

Welcome~

Hi, I'm Dee!

I like to write fics, drool over screenshots of Homelander and chat to likeminded people! So don't hesitate to reach out!

Fic Requests - If you have an idea for a fic you'd like me to write you can pop it in my ask box but I don't guarantee that I'll write it. I'm pretty picky about what strikes my fancy but I also want to learn to write things I'm not the most skilled in (+ I'm a chronic people pleaser) - so keep that in mind!

Currently hyperfixated on The Boys (Homelander, really) but I'm also forever infected with the Supernatural brainrot so I'll always be happy to chat about that too.

Fic Masterlist

I try to keep my [AO3] updated if you prefer to read there but I first and foremost publish on my blog. You can also add yourself to my taglist [here]

Multi-Chapter

NSFW | The Lucky Winner (Homelander x fem!Reader) [AO3]

Summary: You're a huge fan of Homelander but you've always felt too awkward to ever meet your hero at a meet & greet or similar events. Your friends enter you into a Vought competition, where you've got a chance to win a phone call from Homelander himself.  Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

NSFW | The Price of Love (Homelander x fem!Reader) [AO3]

Summary: Homelander asks you out. Instead of happily accepting like he imagines you to, you let him down revealing that you're married. Part 1 | Part 2

NSFW | Testing the Limits (Homelander x Reader) [AO3]

Summary: Through some gentle coaching Homelander is learning how to control his strength during rough sex Part 1 (gn!Reader) | Part 2 (fem!Reader)

One-Shots

NSFW | Imperfectly Perfect (fem!Reader) [AO3] Summary: Unfortunately for Homelander, sex isn't always so easy and effortlessly sexy.

NSFW | Anywhere, You're Mine (fem!Reader) [AO3] Summary: On a warm summer night, Homelander takes you flying. You soon find out that he's looking for more than just the midnight skyline views

NSFW | We Play Pretend (gn!Reader) [AO3] Summary: Homelander has never really understood the fantasy you divulged one day. You were happy to let it go. But it turns out that after all the years with Vought he's an incredibly convincing actor.

NSFW | Mark Me Yours (fem!Reader) [AO3] Summary: Although Homelander is not one to celebrate Halloween you manage to show him a fun way to celebrate.

NSFW | Sweet as Honey (fem!Reader) [AO3] Summary: With Homelander's stress levels increasing day by day you look into alternative methods to ease his mind. Self-induced lactation turns out to be at the top of the list.

NSFW | First Time for Everything (fem!Reader) [AO3] Summary: Homelander makes you squirt for the first time.

SFW | Sweet Valentine (fem!Reader) [AO3] Summary: After a week of being spoiled with gifts leading up to Valentine's, you treat Homelander to a surprise of your own.

NSFW | Mind Over Matter (fem!Reader) [AO3] Summary: As the only telepathic, mind-altering member of the Seven you take Homelander for a vivid ride in his mind during an important meeting. Homelander can't handle being reduced to less than his perfect manicured self and he decides to teach you a lesson.

Shorter Fics/Requests

A little collection of little fics/scenarios I've answered some of my asks with. Some very short, some ~1k. But I didn't consider them long enough/thought-out enough to fit in the above.

SFW | Homelander surprises you with a gift (fem!Reader) SFW | Homelander gets handmade chocolates (gn!Reader) SFW | Mistletoe kisses (gn!Reader) SFW | Homelander feels the love of your touch (gn!Reader) SFW | Homelander comforts you during a rough time (gn!Reader) SFW | Homelander receives a handmade blanket (gn!Reader) SFW | You join Homelander for his hair bleaching (gn!Reader) SFW | Homelander sees you and Ryan having a cuddle (gn!Reader) SFW | Homelander and his southern stylist (fem!Reader) SFW | Homelander and his southern stylist, part 2 (fem!Reader) SFW | Homelander teaches you how to kiss (gn!Reader) SFW | Homelander comes to you for comfort (gn!Reader)

NSFW | You're jealous over Homelander's public gf (fem!Reader) NSFW | Homelander with a very vocal reader (fem!Reader)

[blue--ingenue]

"Evasive Maneuvers" - Part 1

Read Next Part ->

Summary: You've been in love with Sebastian since the moment you knocked him on his arse on your first day. Entering your sixth year, you finally begin working up the courage to confess your feelings when he suddenly becomes the best Beater Hogwarts has seen in decades - and subsequently becomes the school's most eligible bachelor.

Author's Notes: i have been diagnosed with quidditch player!Sebastian brainrot, and i'm about to make it everyone's problem. cue angst, mutual pining, fluff, and (eventually) a happy ending

---------------------------------------------------

Your heels clicked across smooth marble as you strode to the Great Hall, arm-in-arm with Natty and Poppy. The heavy double doors were thrown open revealing hundreds of students embracing and chatting away. Although your robes were a rich scarlet, your gaze cut immediately to the sea of green, searching in vain for a head of chestnut curls. Observant as ever, Natty noted the anxious flick of your eyes and ribbed you, playfully.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure he’s saving you a seat already,” she teased.

Distracted, you continued to sweep your gaze over the animated crowd. “Who?” you asked, your expression indicating that your attention was nowhere near the conversation at hand. Natty and Poppy shared a knowing look and unhooked their arms from yours. This seemed to finally be enough to pause your search. “Where are the two of you headed? We can still sit together until Headmaster Black begins the sorting,” you inquired.

“Natty and I have a few people we’d love to catch up with before then,” Poppy explained. A smile, one you had only ever seen when Natty was about to strike at Crossed Wands, formed as she added, “And I’m sure Sebastian is more than eager to see you again.”

And with that your friends stepped into the crowd and disappeared from sight. You decided to brush off their odd demeanors and made a beeline for the Slytherin table. Your gaze flicked from face to face, searching for storm-blue eyes and the head of brown locks that were never far away from them. You were nearing the end of the table, only a few seats left between yourself and the faculty seating, when a familiar pulse of light caught your eye.

“You aren’t rushing about on another of your adventures, are you? Term has barely begun,” the owner laughed. You blinked twice to make sure that your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you before you registered that the young man speaking was none other than Ominis Gaunt.

“Ominis!” you exclaimed, embracing him with enough force that a puff of air left his lips. His enthusiasm matches yours as he huffs out your name, his voice muffled by your vise-like hug. The two of you catch up on your respective summers. Ominis doesn’t have much to say regarding his family, and you don’t press him for more. Returning to the Gaunt manor always takes its toll on Ominis, especially over the summer. You regale him with tales of star-charting and researching ancient magic. You had read nearly every written text on the subject before deciding to do a bit of research on your own. Ominis laughs, and you make a noise of confusion. You hadn’t said anything funny.

“You know you sound just like him. And before you ask, no, I have not yet had the chance to speak with him,” he declares. You could feign ignorance with Natty and Poppy (with varying results), but never with Ominis. He’d been the first to catch onto your feelings for his best friend and had since become your confidant. Before you can reply the candlelight shines upon a familiar shade of chestnut. Anne’s hair is pulled up into its usual bun and she adjusts it as she takes her first steps back into the Great Hall. She looks ecstatic, more stars in her eyes than you’ve seen in all the first-years combined. She spots you and Ominis and breaks into a grin that takes over her whole countenance. She immediately slides and weaves between students before crashing into Ominis with the same brute strength you had embraced him with just minutes ago. A figure leans against the door, his impossibly loving gaze following Anne’s warpath through the crowd. You inhale sharply as Sebastian Sallow comes fully into focus. He looks so different, and yet so unmistakably Sebastian. The light of a thousand flickering candles grace his features. ‘Solid’ is the only word you can think of to describe his transformation. He’d spurted at least six inches over the summer and you can’t help but notice the way he fills out his uniform. Even from here you can see the corded muscle of his forearms flex as he rolls his sleeves to his elbows. He looks about the hall, and his searching gaze is not unlike the one you expressed upon arriving. Your eyes meet, and even from across the hall you can see his shoulders sag in relief. 

You had caught him asleep in the Undercroft once, one arm dangling over the couch as the other clutched a weathered novel to his chest. It was Pride and Prejudice, a muggle romance that you had since read cover-to-cover. Between one beat and the next you feel as though every loving word spoken between those pages sings through your blood. Elation flares from your chest and a few arcs of blue lightning crackle from your hands. Sebastian pushes through the crowd to get to you. His strength allows him to cut through the throng like a knife through warm butter and heat blossoms somewhere entirely different. He stops just short of you and you shoot from the bench, crossing the remaining few steps to your best friend. You raise your arms, not sure if you’re intending to hug him, but certain that you need to hold him. He makes it to you first. Just as you’re about to reach forward he captures your hands with the gentlest of grips and just- holds you. His hands have always been larger than yours, but with his proximity and the warmth radiating from his toned physique you’re struck by just how much he’s grown. Purely on instinct you fold your hands over his, relaxing into his grip. 

“Hey you,” he smiles, gazing at you with an intensity you’ve only ever seen him sport while dueling. 

“Hi,” you reply, eloquently. You feel giddy with happiness and you’re sure that your cheeks are flushing a deep crimson to match your robes. His right hand drifts toward the lock of hair that has fallen into your face and your breath catches at the proximity. His eyes are far away, yet determined. You tilt your head, ready to lean into his touch, when his hand makes an aborted motion and he scratches his head. Sebastian clears his throat and releases your hands, taking a step back. 

“It’s ah- It’s good to see you,” he says sincerely. You feel a familiar wave of disappointment roll over you. Whatever had charged the air between you mere moments ago dissipated instantly. “It’s good to see you, too,” you muster. You open your mouth to say something, but are cut off by Headmaster Black calling for the sorting to begin. You glance sheepishly at Sebastian before heading back to the Gryffindor table to sit with Natty. From across the hall, you swear you can almost feel his gaze on you. Turning your attention to the podium, you sigh. This was going to be an interesting year.

[aldritch-ao3]

jian called naoya "my love" and naoya called himself as choso n co's stepmum oh my god

chat. op is feeding us too much. i'm getting suspicious

.... naoya really does have the "genuinely excited to meet my step kids!!" energy in this chapter. the way that naoya was genuinely trying and jian acknowledged it, "It’s an oddly honourable and kind sentiment, especially coming from such a blatantly unkind man."

chat, i'm not hallucinating this right ?? guys ... i've been fangirling over these guys for so long. i'm actually gonna vomit holy shit

like, they're my new brainrot. i'm just thinking of jian carrying naoya and naoya is just happy about it but he won't show it, that fucker /fond.

and also. what would a human form curse jian look like? like, when you don't base it off of naoya? and not based on his past human form, from before he was a curse. if he was a human in the current jkk world, alive with his naoya?

really obsessed with you claiming suspicion like i didn't draw them kissing the other day. im feeding myself you're all just along for the ride but im so glad other people are having fun.

their dynamic IS really special to me bc they're so. complex. and yet really simple. their dynamic is so complicated and raises a lot of questions but the way they interact with each other isnt complicated at all.

human form (or a human disguise) for jian ... complicated question. i always picture him in a separate human form as the twins' master despite not being his original body, or really unique for anything but that connection. mostly just because it suits him really well. he is, at heart, a grouchy older man with nice hair

and then i thought about it more and this image entered my brain by force, so. uh. here you go.