#brandmentalist

[brandmentalist]

The Trick To Manipulate Your Own Mind

One thing I’ve learned up to this point in life is that the mind has a memory. And it’s damn smart; it “subconsciously” recognizes patterns.

Once the pattern becomes a habit, it’s hard for you to stop doing it. It requires extra mental strength to break the habit.

"Starting from a small act, but if you do it repeatedly, one day it will become big." 

Starting with white lies, repeatedly, you become a compulsive liar.

Starting with shoplifting a lipstick, repeatedly, you become a thief.

Starting with faking documents, repeatedly, you can become a white collar criminal.

Starting with being dishonest, repeatedly, you become a cheater.

At the same time…

Starting with exercising at least 3 times a week, repeatedly, you become fit.

Starting with eating healthy every day, repeatedly, you become well and healthy.

Starting with walking with your back straight, repeatedly, you have an elegant posture.

Starting with smiling and being positive, you become a happy person to be around inside and out and attract people with the same energy to you.

Starting with giving unused clothes and loose change to the homeless, repeatedly, you become empathetic and giving.

Starting with sharing things with others, repeatedly, you become generous.

Starting with only doing things that align with your core values, repeatedly, you are a person of meaningful values.

Starting with reading, repeatedly, you become addicted to learning.

Starting with making sure you get what you need to be done for the day, repeatedly, you are always on top of everything.

Starting with being focused, each task at a time, repeatedly, you can easily get into the flow and be productive.

Starting with thinking outside the box, repeatedly, you become extremely creative.

Starting with getting out of your comfort zone, repeatedly, you become confident and fearless.

Starting with telling yourself what you want to achieve in life, repeatedly, you will get there.

Starting with just getting it started, repeatedly, anything you want to be and do, you can be and do.

[forkmyday]

✨HAPPY NEW WEEK✨ Name a better way to start your morning than with a positive attitude?! ☺️ Add in some delicious buttery croissants with scrambled eggs, salmon & soft cheese and it’s the perfect way to start the day 😋🤤 I hope you all have a productive week despite us being on lockdown but we can still make the most out of it 💃🏾 I’ll leave you with a quote from day 9 of my @happinessplanner “your capability and possibility in life are limited by the wall you create for yourself” - @brandmentalist - As always, enjoy the visual 😘 @waitroseandpartnerspr @waitroseandpartners #forkmyday (at LockDown Life)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CHXg8DPAIi9/?igshid=eij3rmsjmqbr

[lecosanne91]

Can you plan #happiness? I’m certainly hoping so. I’ve picked up my @happinessplanner again after a year and this one I’m going to finish it. The only way I’m going to make this year my year is by grabbing the bull by the horns and telling it will be so. So day 1 out of 93 (I did a week last year) here I go! #happy #planning #journal #journeytohappy #february2018 #happinessplanner #brandmentalist #mintgreen #lecosanne

[brandmentalist]

How To Get Rid Of Your Self-Limiting Beliefs

“It’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power!”

- Robert T Kiyosaki

Our beliefs are so powerful that they dictate the direction of our lives. We only see what we believe to be true. We only attract what we believe we deserve to receive. Our beliefs are the lens through which we see the world. Unless we change our beliefs, it is unlikely that our situations will change. Our beliefs have been formed since the day we were born. Our environment, upbringing, education, and experiences have all come together to create who we are today. And just like positive experiences add to who we are, negative experiences tend to create walls within us for protection.

I remember when I was in primary school, I participated in several school competitions from art to math to science. My dad told me that the secret to becoming a winner is to think like a winner. And the winner does not let doubt, particularly self-doubt, enter their mind. I grew up with a great life coach, whom I’m blessed to call ‘dad.’ But even then, I still had a lot of self-limiting beliefs creep in. I had doubts, insecurities, and fears. As I got older, I started pinpointing what those limiting beliefs were and tried to get rid of them one by one.

Telling yourself that one of your beliefs is invalid can feel like you are lying to and robbing yourself. But the fundamental truth is that beliefs are at the core of who we are.

Here are the steps I had to go through each time I worked on removing a self-limiting belief.

1. Identify what your limiting beliefs are.

Identify the beliefs that you want to work on and overcome.

Examples of such beliefs are:

I am not good enough.

I won't ever find love and be in a happy, committed relationship.

I don’t believe I can start my own business and make it succeed.

I want to ask for what I want, but I believe I will be rejected again.

I can never make money from my passion.

I don’t trust the opposite sex.

Life is unfair.

It can be extremely hard and we may feel that it would be very difficult to try to challenge these beliefs. But if you’re reading this now, it means that you realize some of your beliefs are holding you back in life and you want to work through them.

Congratulations! It’s time to make some more progress.

2. Identify the root causes of those beliefs

Now that you know what your limiting beliefs are, it’s time to uncover how these were formed in the first place. Who or what planted the seed within you?

If you often find yourself feeling that you’re not good enough even though no one is saying that to you now, can you identify who in your childhood said that to you? Did your parents or caretakers make you feel like you’re not good enough? Did someone at school say so? What about now? Do you still find that you subconsciously surround yourself with people who think that you’re not good enough?

If you don’t believe that you will ever find love and be in a healthy, loving relationship, is it because you grew up with divorced parents? How did your last relationship end? Are you still hung up on your last relationship? Have you worked through your intimacy and abandonment issues?

If you don’t believe you can start your own business and that you will likely fail, root causes may be that (1) you don’t believe in your own capability. You don’t have enough self-confidence and self-belief. (2) you’ve seen many businesses close to you fail (3) people around you, family and close friends, believe that starting a business and becoming successful is something that one in a million can do.

If you are too scared to ask for what you want because you have been rejected too many times in the past, identify why you got rejected. A lot of times, this has nothing to do with you but to do with them and their criteria. And if it’s in regards to love, remember, people cannot give what they do not have within themselves. A lot of the time, it’s about them and their circumstances in life, not about you.

If you don’t believe that you can make money from your passion, it could be because (1) you don’t believe in yourself (2) you have been told to believe that passions are not to be pursued professionally. This belief could also be passed onto you from your parents because parents oftentimes pass on their beliefs to their children.

If you don’t trust the opposite sex, it could be because you’ve been cheated on before, you grew up with a parent who cheats and witnessed the pain, or you have friends who sleep around so you learn the tricks of the game.

If you believe life is unfair, this could be because you focus on what you don’t have and what you lack rather than being grateful for what you do have. This could be because you compare other people’s front-row highlights to your behind-the-scene lows. This could be because you always focus on the negatives. This pattern likely was formed while growing up. You may have grown up with a caretaker or a parent whose view of the world was negative. Therefore, you started adopting those beliefs and focused on the negatives as well.

3. Challenge your beliefs.

Now you’ve identified your beliefs and the cause of them, it’s time to challenge those beliefs by finding the other side of the argument. Most of the time, we surround ourselves with people with the same beliefs. So our limiting beliefs get reassured and reaffirmed, making us feel that our beliefs are right and that it is the only way to see the world. But this is not true. As you’re reading this, you’ve probably already realized that you have limiting beliefs that are holding you back and you want to get rid of them for good. In order to change your beliefs, you must change your environment. Remember, we are a product of our environment and our brain subconsciously mirrors the people and things we are in closest relation to.

For example:

If you don’t believe that you can start your own business, then start looking at businesses that succeed. Make friends with and talk to entrepreneurs who have started businesses and are successful. Surround yourself with people whose beliefs challenge your own limiting belief as much as you can so that you eventually erase your old belief from your mind and adopt the new belief.

If you don’t trust the opposite sex, then this unconsciously makes you attract the opposite sex who are not to be trusted. Your limiting belief in this area also sets a low standard for what you should and should not accept which does not go with what your heart truly desires. Sometimes we start tricking ourselves as a self-defense mechanism so that we do not get hurt. Trust issues are hard to overcome and I still combat them myself. Fully giving trust to the opposite sex right away can be hard when you’ve been hurt in the past. Challenge this belief by becoming friends with men and women who do not play around and only date one person at a time. By doing this, you will start to see the other side of the coin. Your existing belief will get challenged and slowly you will start changing your belief.

If you don’t believe you can make money from your passion, then start making friends with people who successfully turn their passion into a profitable business. Learn from them. Absorb the good energy from them. See how they do things. Surround yourself with people whose beliefs challenge your old beliefs. This will slowly change your beliefs.

If you believe life is unfair and realize that it’s because you have a pattern of focusing on the negatives, then start by removing yourself from negative people. A lot of the time, we continue to hang out with people with the same beliefs as us because it’s comfortable. But comfort is exactly what’s stopping us from growing and making changes in life. Most of our learnings are unconscious. Hence, we need to be mindful of the environment we put ourselves in. Realize that some old attachments can be let go of if they continue to bring us down. Make room for new connections in your life - those who embody the thought, emotional, and behavioral patterns you want to adopt. If you want to be more positive, surround yourself with positive people. This might feel strange and not comfortable in the beginning. But slowly, you will get to see a new perspective, and you will be able to see the glass half full, rather than half empty. Or even better, you will start being thankful that you even have a glass!

4. Keep a journal for your thoughts & beliefs. 

Changing habits is hard. Changing our beliefs is harder. But once we can change a belief, our habit will automatically change. This is because our beliefs lay as a baseline for our thoughts which drive our emotions and actions.

In the beginning, it will feel like you’re forcing yourself to believe in something that you do not believe in at all. Try to forget the old belief. Remind yourself of the good reasons why the new belief is more believable. Surround yourself with people who embody the new belief. Read content that reinforces the new belief.

Journal. Observe and record your thoughts. Pay attention to your inner voice. Observe the little things in life that could help you reinforce the new belief. When voices of self-doubts come up, try shutting them down and canceling those thoughts out. Make your new inner voice louder than your old inner voice through positive affirmations and repetitive visualization. 

Slowly, one day, when you successfully adopt the new belief, you will feel like a brand new person. You will even forget that you used to have that old belief and what it felt like to have a belief that held you back for so long.

Our Happiness Planner app now has a voice note feature that is designed to help you practice empowering your own inner voice. All voice files can be downloaded directly to your computer from our web app.

Our Growth Mindset, Self-love, and Confidence Journal are also designed to help you tackle your self-limiting beliefs. Pick the one that is most suitable for your situation.

Remember, it all starts in the mind - and you have the power over that. You just have to keep stretching its limit.

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.”

- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr

[brandmentalist]

What Does Freedom Mean To You?

There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.

-  Christopher Morley

If people ask me what success means, this is what I’d say. Success to me is having the freedom to live life in my own way. But I wouldn’t be able to achieve my definition of success without this one thing - purpose.

To me, purpose is knowing the meaning of your life, knowing your core values, knowing what makes your heart sing and live your life according to that every single day.

Four years ago, I founded a company of purpose. As it’s America’s Independence Day today, I’d like to ponder upon the word ‘freedom’. To me, the feeling of freedom is when you live life in flow. When there’s no resistance and no emotional blockages; when we’re occupied with things that make our heart sing because we’re in the flow state. But how can we create a feeling of flow when we have to live and have bills to pay? We do this by living a life of purpose. Because if we don’t know our purpose in life, a purpose will be given to you by others. You give up your freedom in exchange for purpose. Sure, you still maintain the illusion of freedom. You still make decisions on your day-to-day actions. But you’ve lost the greatest freedom - the ability to choose your own answer to the question, “What is the meaning of my life?”

When you know your purpose and live it consciously every day, you’re free. Even if you work for someone else, you are still a leader who leads your life in flow. When you know for sure the answer to the question, “What is the meaning of my life?”, you will be able to stay calm amidst the storm. You will be able to live on a deeper level where surface happenings can’t knock you around. Your purpose provides unshakable stability and security.

- Steve Pavlina

We often debate whether we’d want to trade our physical freedom for financial freedom, or, trade financial freedom for physical freedom. But what a lot of people forget to mention is that what we truly crave is having mental and emotional freedom.

True freedom, to me, is when one has the ability to remain free - mentally and emotionally - even there’s chaos outside.

True freedom is when one can stay calm amidst the storm and can adjust their sail according to the wind.

True freedom does not come from having the resources to change one’s external circumstances, but having the ability to manage their inner self.

True freedom is when one is not scared of change, of getting out of one’s comfort zone, of taking actions in the face of fear.

True freedom is having the resilience to bounce back from setbacks and disappointments in life and having the patience to wait for the right moment to come.

True freedom is living your life in your own terms and achieving the kind of success defined by no one else but you.

True freedom is when you feel truly free - emotionally, mentally, and spiritually - because you’re living life in alignment with who you truly are.

As I am now in the position to create positive change in the world, I’d like to inspire you to find your life’s purpose because only when you live a life of purpose, you can feel free mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

When you learn to become the master of your mind - knowing that you’re in charge of your attitude, thoughts, beliefs, and fears; knowing that you don’t need to feel trapped and become a victim of the rules you create for your own self - you will experience true freedom. And that freedom starts with you and within you.

Sometimes it’s hard to break free from our own patterns and get rid of our own fears in order to create and experience freedom. One of the key things that can help put you on the path towards true freedom is confidence. We need to have confidence in order to have enough courage to make the change and face our own fears.

As it’s America’s Independence day today, I’d like to encourage you to build up your confidence level, so that you have the courage to get out there, find your purpose, and create a life of true freedom.

[brandmentalist]

The Secret To Living A Rich Life

What is a rich life? I’m not talking about life abundant in financial wealth, but I’m talking about a life rich with experiences, fun, excitement, adventures, and stories.

Do you have any friends who seem to grab life by the horns? Their stories are interesting and full of passion. You live vicariously through them. You wish you had that life; or the guts; or the passion; or the zest for life like them.

No, they didn’t just one day get up and decided to throw themselves into random occurrences and come out fine and abundant. They probably didn’t grow up with parents who pushed them to try all sorts of things and travel extensively. They most likely certainly didn’t grow up with wealth.

The key secret to living a rich life is none of those things. The key secret to living an interesting, exciting, and fun life is falling in love with getting out of one’s comfort zone. But what if you’re naturally a risk-averse person who doesn’t like change, how could you live a rich life? Well, getting out of one’s comfort zone is never easy. It’s not easy because it requires you to feel comfortable with change, exponential learning, and overcoming your own fear. But once you learn to fall in love learning, change-induced growth becomes the way of living - one that leads to an exciting life.

I want to leave you with an exercise;

This week, I want you to do one thing you’ve always wanted to do but never had a chance to learn to do it. Think of one thing, big or small. Maybe start with something small like cooking a dish you’ve always wanted to learn how to cook, or doing an exercise you’ve always wanted to try. Google it and learn how to do it this week.

Once you’ve completed the task, witness how you feel - how do you feel when accomplishing that one new thing you’ve always wanted to do?

Then repeat the process with something new each time.

Do it over and over until you fall in love with the process; until you fall in love with learning and getting out of your comfort zone.

That is the secret to living a rich life. :)

[brandmentalist]

4 Steps To Building Confidence From Within

We all want to be confident. But what we don’t realize that people we know that are confident did not become confident overnight or were born confident. They are confident because they have gone through certain experiences that helped them build up their confidence level little by little. 

Your comfort zone keeps expanding every time you get out of your comfort zone.

- Mo Seetubtim

Some people were lucky enough to grow up with parents who give them the opportunity to or help them build their self-confidence. Some of us have to go through periods of confidence building ourselves as we become teenagers or early adults. 

No matter what quality we want to have, we have to adopt it, embrace it, and live it until it becomes a part of our character. So if you’d like to become a more confident person, I’d like to encourage you to set goals and follow through with them. Use the steps below as a guide to help you build confidence from within that is hard to break and is only going to get stronger as time goes on.

1. Identify where you are and where you want to be.

The first step to achieving any goal is to decide that you’re going to change.

Setting goals helps you turn the intangible (your thoughts, imagination, dreams, and wishes) into something tangible (measurable sets of actions).

If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always got.

- Albert Eintein

Then answer the below questions:

What will having more confidence help you achieve? Why do you want to be more confident?

Identifying the reason and the motive behind any goals set can help you feel more motivated and assured of your action. Ask yourself this question ‘Why’ and write them all down.

What is your current confidence level? Where do you want your confidence level to be over the next 12 months?

If you rate your current confidence level from the scale of 1-10, where would it be? And how confident do you want to see yourself become in a year’s time, 3  years’ time, or 5 years’ time? 

What's holding you back from building the confidence you wish to have?

So what has been holding you back so far from achieving the confidence goals you want? Is it time? Is it fear? Is it a belief? Is it a mindset? Is it someone in your life who keeps belittling you and adds to your own self-doubt? By identifying this, you will be able to remove the block or the obstacle more effectively.

What are you currently confident in? Think about your abilities and past achievements. What can you jump right in and do without hesitation and with pride?

Recognizing our own abilities, talents, and strengths can elevate our level of confidence. If you could feel confident in one area of life, why can’t you feel confident in another area of life too? The process can be replicated and it starts with setting goals, building willpower, and fake it until you make it!

What are you not confident in? What gives you anxiety? What are you scared of doing? What makes you nervous just thinking about doing it?

Now, after recognizing your amazing-ness, now it’s time to think about what makes you anxious - the areas we feel least confident in! These are the areas that can be improved. These are the areas we should try to push ourselves out of our comfort zone.

What else would you like to be confident in doing?

Set goals, deadlines, and action plans of how you're going to build your confidence in those things.

2. Build self-esteem based on who you truly are.

Look within.

We cannot build strong lasting self-esteem based on something external - whether it be things or someone else in our lives. Surely, we can use material possessions as something that shows how hard we have worked - that represents our inner quality to the outer world. However, if we gain our self-esteem by deliberately purchasing items people admire, the self-esteem gained from this isn’t going to last. You will have to run from one thing to another and it can get very tiring at the end of the day. Plus, if you’re not careful, it can make you feel very empty inside.

And if your self-esteem is based on your relationship with someone else where you find yourself in a codependent relationship, this is definitely not healthy. In order to fix this, you have to start by looking within yourself and re-building up your self-esteem from the root and the core. This might involve looking into your childhood and past experiences and see what might have been missing and then find ways to fulfill them in a healthy, constructive way.

Discover yourself and appreciate good things about you.

It’s hard to build our self-esteem and our confidence from within without knowing who we truly are. Take some time off to really spend time with yourself. Embrace your solitude. Journal. Write it all out. Look back to your childhood - what you were naturally good at and what used to make your heart sing.

Make a list of things that you’re good at and what you’re proud of about yourself. Make a list of your past achievements and use them as a reminder to reminds yourself of the hard work you put in in order to learn something new and master it and to never give up easily. This also includes building up one’s confidence.

Appreciating yourself doesn’t mean you’re a narcissist. It’s practicing self-love, and self-love is the foundation of everything. 

Accept yourself including your flaws. Be comfortable in your own skin.

We all have flaws. We cannot accept ourselves fully without making peace with our own selves. The number one confidence killer is not being confident in our own skin because this is who we live in - our body is our home. Imperfections make people unique and interesting. Remember that no one is perfect. Those who seem perfect to you might just be better at hiding their weaknesses than others.

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.

- Lao Tzu

Remove labels that may be holding you back.

Society likes to impose on us ‘labels’. Sometimes we can’t help but feel that we’re held back by them. Labels often come with stigma and judgment to a certain extent. Whatever label you feel associated with, if it affects you in a negative way, you need to learn to let go of it. And if you find it hard to let go of the label where you are, then maybe it’s time to move to a new environment. Sometimes a change is needed in order to let go. I know it can be scary to move away from our old environment for the first time, but sometimes experiencing things from different angles, meeting people with completely different ideas of what’s right, what’s wrong, what’s good, and what’s bad can be such an eye-opener and help us realize that what we believe is right, wrong, good, and bad is quite subjective. 

3. Identify and build a support system.

Remove negative energy

A support system is absolutely crucial. In order to achieve great things in life, we need to surround ourselves with people who believe in us. One of the causes of your lack of confidence could be that some significant people in your life do not believe in you. It might sound like a small thing but it is a very big thing and it can make a tremendous effect on how you do everything. Is there someone in your life who does not believe in you? If so, can you minimize contact with them? Can you inspire them to be more positive? Is there anything you can do to make them believe in you more? Try not to let their discouraging words get to you. I know it’s hard and I’ve been there and still have to face it every now and then. Sometimes people project their own inner fear onto you. If they don’t believe you can do something, it could be because they’re battling their own self-doubt.

Some people also have a pattern of not knowing how to say the right thing. These people normally don’t actually mean as bad as what the words that come out of their mouth sound like. They just have a destructive pattern that is hard to break - a pattern they built since little through their own childhood and life experiences. So they’ve probably been living this pattern for over 20, 30, 40, or 50 years now. Unless they truly want to break the pattern, it’s unlikely they’re going to change. So if this is someone significant in your life that you cannot cut ties with, your best bet is to try to not let their bad words get to you. I’ve been there and I still have to remind myself this every single day.

Surround yourself with positive energy

Now that you’re an adult, you have the right to choose how you live yourself and who to surround yourself with. Energies are contagious. Passion is contagious. So surround yourself with people who live you higher; who inspire you and help you grow. 

Be your own support.

Psych yourself up with positive self-talk. Read motivational content and quotes. Read stories of people who do what you aspire to do well. I myself have been at a point in my life where I felt all alone and that no one believed in me. I had to be my own cheerleader. My blog was also my emotional outlet. It was hard, but I knew what I ultimately wanted to achieve so I persevered. There are also tools out there for you to use and communities of people who go through the same thing as you. So use them as a place to build support for your own self and meet like-minded people. 

4. Build confidence from within. Adopt an attitude of confidence.

Do things that align with who you are.

When we do things that are not in alignment with who we are, we experience resistance emotionally and physically. We feel stuck, uneasy, unhappy, unfulfilled, and stressed. Your cause of low confidence could stem from this - from not doing things that align with who you truly are. If this is the case, plan to make the change. Once you start doing things that are more in line with your true selves, your confidence level will naturally increase.

Building confidence is mastery.

Think about the things that you're good at that took a long time for you to master. What are they? How did you learn to master them? How long did it take? Next time when facing a difficult challenge, remind yourself of how you managed to master the thing that you're good at.

Get out of your comfort zone.

Challenge yourself. Start from small then move to bigger things. Get used to pushing yourself so that you can grow. Facing your own inner fear and anxious emotions will get easier as you keep fighting against them.

Adopt an attitude of confidence

Remove self-doubt. Get rid of your self-limiting beliefs. Pretend to be confident, over and over, until you actually feel confident. Our brain remembers things and creates patterns. Build a pattern of confidence. 

Practice positive affirmations and visualization.

These practices have been extremely valuable to me. Positive affirmations help me turn negative thoughts, emotions, doubts, and fears into something powerful. When you practice positive affirmations, not only do you tell yourself what you want but you also make a promise to yourself that you will make it happen. When you tell yourself what you want over and over that it goes into your subconscious mind, your life will be directed towards that without you realizing that you’re doing so sometimes. And this is very powerful!

Set confidence goals to achieve - one goal at a time.

No matter what quality you want to have, you need to build it. If you want to be confident, you need to build confidence - just like building a new habit or adopting a new mindset. Whatever you want to be more confident in, practice it until you're good at it. And if you just want to be a confident person, start by building your self-esteem from within. 

[brandmentalist]

3 HEARTFELT LESSONS LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME OVER THE YEARS

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” -  Marie Curie

Over the past year I have been on my own a lot. Traveling from one place to another, embracing the freedom that I created for myself, I got so deeply in touch with myself like I never did before. I've become much more aware of my own consciousness. My 'me' time has been a sanctuary for me to process my thoughts and feelings. I've really gotten back to genuinely enjoy my own solitude again. As the oldest child with a strict mother, I used to really enjoy my own solitude. I would escape from the negative outside noise into my own little world of art, music, thoughts, and dreams. My imagination and dreams were my sanctuary, my therapy, my meditation, and my best friend. Since I've been on the road a lot, I have had to deal with my emotions alone with my own internal voice. Below is what life has taught me over the years.

1. Life constantly involves the decision to close one chapter in order to move onto the next.

It is easier said than done, isn't it? In hindsight, every disappointment in life happened for a reason. It happened to push you into a different direction. It happened so that you could move on. But that process of letting go is never easy no matter how many times you've gone through it. It hurts. It really hurts. And even though you get better at grasping control of your emotions as you get older, it still hurts. Even though you’ve mastered meditation and finding things to fill up your time, it still hurts. Letting go is never easy. Maybe it is not meant to be easy. At least the pain you feel when you close one chapter in order to move onto the next makes you feel alive. Life without pain is probably life without the feeling of being alive. There is no Yin without Yang. There is no light without darkness. There is no pleasure without pain. Letting go has not gotten easier, but at least it teaches me to realize that I have not lost the ability to let myself become vulnerable. Because only when you let yourself become vulnerable, you take a shot at feeling life's greatest pleasure - though that also means you risk feeling life's greatest pain. After all, no great creative work has ever been born without pain. Pain makes you feel alive. 

   2. You can never take control of time. But you can choose to understand the virtue of time.

As you get older and go through different phrases of life, you might have noticed already that life is about timing. When it comes to our own timing, we don't feel resistance because it is our own life that we're living. But when it comes to the timing of those we love, the timing of those we deeply care about, the timing of those we feel connected to, especially when it doesn't match ours, resistance occurs. Suddenly, life doesn't flow like water anymore. Something feels wrong. Something doesn't feel right. Something hurts. Every now and again, you build a strong bond with someone only to realize later that that bond has to be broken and twisted because you two are moving at different paces in life. Suddenly you have to learn to accept again - to accept the virtue of time, to accept that people's lives are not going to be the same as yours, to accept that you have to let things go. I have learned that the key to mastering this is to learn to "understand" life's truth. Because with understanding comes acceptance. With understanding comes unconditional love. With understanding, you can relax and feel more secure. 

When life feels like pain, focus on becoming “understanding” and the pain will be eased away.

  3. You cannot change people. Only they can change themselves.

I've never been one to try to change people. All I do is to inspire change. For some reason, I seem to have the ability to inspire those around me to become better - through my own actions, energy, and words. I have learned that if people are not ready to change themselves, no matter how hard you try, they will not be able to see themselves in the mirror reflected back at them. We all have ego which prevents us from seeing the weakness that we hold and the flaws that we have. It's hard to accept that sometimes certain things happen because of our own fault and because of who we are - and that we have the power to change that. I believe it is important to sit back with ourselves, when an unfortunate event occurs, and look into our own shadow to see if we have been any way that may have caused that unfortunate event to occur. Have we been too controlling or pushy? Have we been to negative? Have we been complaining too much? Have we been too selfish and self-absorbed? Have we lost the ability to be understanding and empathetic? Sometimes we're caught up in our own emotions, needs, and insecurity that we forget to realize the impact our actions and words have on others. Sometimes we forget to care about the other person's needs. What do they really need? What they need might not be what we need or help us fulfil what we need. But maybe the best solution to the resistance that is occuring is to be understanding and accept the fact that the other person has different needs. You cannot change people, only they can change themselves. At the same time, you cannot change yourself, unless you let go off your ego and reflect on you. The ability to accept our own fault and improve our own self is crucial for a happier, healthier living and building beautiful long-lasting relationships. 

Life does not always go as planned, but the beauty of it is that it can surprise you any moments with the most splendorous of serendipity. The key is to keep moving, knowing that the universe has your back and that life is meant to get better as long as we internally feel grateful and strive to become better and experience the feeling of being alive. 

“The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.”

- Paulo Coelho

[brandmentalist]

How To Turn Your Passion Into Your Life’s Work

How amazing would it be if you could begin each day feeling inspired and excited because you are able to work on something that you truly love? If you could feel that your future rests in your own hands because you have the inner power to utilise your innate abilities? Would you feel an immense sense of freedom and an ample amount of joy? Would you feel more fulfilled and rich from within because, by embracing your own natural talents and striving to be your best, you're on the path to personal growth and self-actualisation?

Since I was a child, I've always believed in turning my passion into my life's work. My dad is a passionate golfer, an ex-national marathon runner, and an entrepreneur who lives life with passion. When he becomes interested in something, he gets obsessed with it and becomes the best at it. I believe that I was also born this way, and maybe I was also influenced and inspired by my father's way of life. No matter what I engage in, I make sure I become really good at it. However, as I grew up, I realised that it is not so easy to earn money from my passion. I spent several years of my life thinking about my passions and which one I could turn into my life's work. I went on so many different paths, from doing music marketing to advertising, media, new product development, and tech startups. I can fully say now that my current venture, The Happiness Planner, is my true calling. Not only does it give me an ample amount of joy and motivation when I wake up each morning, but it also gives me freedom. If you have been thinking about turning your passion into your life's work, here are a few tips from my own experience of finding my true calling and turning it into my life's work.  

1. Know yourself

This might sound easy. But not many of us actually know ourselves. We may think we do, but if we really sit down and think about who we truly are and what we truly want in life, we might feel stuck for weeks and months before we can come up with answers. Most of us live life based on the opinions of others - of society, of parents, of what we read and were taught to believe. We go from step one, two, three, without questioning whether those steps are even necessary or if it's possible to break away from the societal norms and patterns. At some point in our lives, we will start to feel stuck, because the path we have been on doesn't actually give us true fulfilment. Often, we have stayed on the path because it is familiar, it is predictable, it is stable, and it is secure. Paving a new path for one's self is scary. But when you reach that point in your life, you realise that in order for you to feel truly fulfilled, you need to understand what would make you feel fulfilled. And you can only do that when you know who you truly are.

If you find yourself stuck at this stage of your life, make a conscious practice to self-reflect regularly and read personal development books. This practice will help you look further within yourself and eventually, one day, you will wake up with an epiphany - a life-changing moment where you feel like a brand new person with a new mindset.

These exercises below might help you understand yourself better and find out what truly makes you feel fulfilled:

Look at your past experiences and the situations you’ve been in. When you had to pick between two critical decisions in life, which path did you go with? The path your gut instinct tells you to choose normally reflects your core values.

Look at the people you dislike. Why do you dislike someone? What is it about them that you don’t like? What is it about their behavior that you don’t like? Is it their work ethic? Is it their perspective of the world, their attitude, or their beliefs?

Look at the people you like and admire. Why do you like someone? What is it about them that you like or admire? Is it their work ethic, their attitude, their perspective of the world, and their beliefs? Is it their way of life? Is it their ambition, their aspiration, the way they work, or the way they think? Is it what they’ve done in life? Is it the “reason” behind why they do what they do?

What did you love doing as a child? What were your childhood hobbies? Were you good at drawing, painting, writing, music, or sports? When you role-played as a kid, what role did you enjoy playing? A lot of the time, these relate to your natural talents. Natural talents are what you’re innately good at, especially when you’re not restricted by societal norms and your dreams and imagination are still running wild.

What do you love doing in general? Do you find joy in making sure things are organised? Do you like freedom? Do you hate or love routine? Do you like talking to people you don’t know? Do you enjoy learning something that is methodological and systematic or abstract and conceptual? How do you describe the way you think and the way you see things?

Read more: How to Find Your Purpose in Life

2. Embrace your passion(s)

It might be quite hard to know what our purpose in life is. However, it is pretty obvious what our passions and interests are. Whether you have one or several passions, embrace your passion at full force and become the best at it. Never leave it astray or forget what used to make your heart beat or what used to soothe you emotionally.

Do you remember what you're good at as a child and at school? Look beyond the surface of what you loved. For example, if math was your favourite subject, what did you love about it? Did you love it because it got you to think strategically? What side of the brain did it use? Was science your favourite subject? Why did you love science? Was it because it relates to things you can relate to in real life or the fact that you can prove it factual? Did you love art? How did you feel when you engaged in art? What made you love art? Was it the sense of freedom you got from being able to draw and paint and let your imagination run wild? Was it an escape from the unpleasant environment you were in? Did it provide emotional comfort? Did you like it because there are no set rules in art and being creative means being and thinking differently? Look deep into the underlying psychological side of why you love something and turn that into something you can apply to your work and career. And sometimes, you don't even need to step away from your childhood dreams and hobbies. You just need to know how to turn what you're good at into a valuable asset that people want to pay for.

3. Evaluate all of your passions and see what stands out the most.

Most of us are passionate about and are good at a lot of things. It can be quite confusing to figure out which one we should strive to be the best at and turn into our life's work.

Make a list of all of your passions and see which one you're the best at and if there are a lot of people with the same passion. If what you're good at is something that a lot of people are also good at, it can be very challenging for you to earn sufficient money, especially if the demand for what you offer is lower than the supply. Pick the one passion where you think you have the most opportunity to stand out, and stick to it.

4. Master what you're great at

Once you've decided which passion you're going to become the best at, pour your heart and soul into it and focus on doing it better than everyone else.

In my own life, I love inspiring people. I also love marketing and branding and I'm good at it. I have proved to myself and to other people that I am capable of inspiring people through my blog. Although, when I started my blog, I didn't really think about how I would monetise it. I was just focusing on creating great content that inspired people. Receiving daily emails from my readers telling me how inspiring my blog was made me very happy. That's when I realised this is what I want to do well and do for the rest of my life.

5. Find your niche

Being good at something is not enough. You also have to be different. You need to find your niche or your unique value proposition.

How can you be different? How are you better than the other people who are doing the same thing as you? What is the gap in the market? What can you offer that others don't? What is unique about you? How can you make people remember you?

I believe my voice is my unique value proposition. Everything I write about relates to me and comes from my own thoughts and experiences. This cannot be replicated. It is important that you find out what makes you stand out and that it cannot be replaced or copied easily. People can copy you or be similar to you, but that's just one facet of it. You are a combination of several things put together. Make sure that is reflected in your work.

6. Create something new

Once you know what your niche is, create a product or a service that you can offer to the world. Sometimes it's hard to create something that stands out, especially in such a crowded market. If that's the case, you have to create something totally new and different.

What is missing in the market? Can you create something new by merging a few simple things together? What are the two genres or niches that people love? How can you combine the two and create something new and interesting? How can you use new technology and trends to create something innovative that the market doesn't currently have?

In my case, I realised that people love personal development stuff - self-help books, inspirational blogs, motivational articles. People (especially females) also love and still use paper planners and journals. However, there's nothing in the market that is a combination of the two. This is how the idea of The Happiness Planner was conceived.

7. Find your market

Now that you know what you're going to offer to the world, and have established your unique value proposition and branding, you need to know who your audience is. Who is going to like your work and your style? Who is going to vouch for you? Who is going to appreciate what you put out in the world? Define this and build a fan base by showcasing your talents and gifts through content creation. Find ways to reach out to them and attract them to you.

Most importantly, you need to understand who your customers are. You need to understand them beyond their age, gender, or other demographics. It is important that you dig deep into human psychology to uncover their attitudes, lifestyle, hopes, and dreams, and to build an authentic connection with them.

8. Build a system

Your business won't run on its own. You won't become successful and have freedom to yourself if you don't build an effective and efficient system. With the power of technology and globalisation, you can do things on a big scale with a small team or as a solo entrepreneur. You just have to find a system that works for you. Find a way to automate work. Assign tasks that can be done by others - tasks that are tedious and time-consuming. Pour your time and energy towards something you're good at. It may take quite a while for you to come up with the most feasible structure, but once you've worked out the system, things will become much easier, and you will have more time to focus on the bigger picture and on yourself.

[brandmentalist]

10 THINGS TO KEEP REMINDING YOURSELF EVERY DAY

We are constantly on the look out for ways to improve our lives, ourselves, our bodies, and our minds. No matter how many hacks there are to implement, things to learn and to ponder upon, there are a few simple things that if we learn to start doing now and everyday, they will become valuable habits for a lifetime.

1. Learn to control impulse spending

Buying shoes because they’re on sale. Grabbing that shiny gadget because it’s just come out and you’d look cool being the first to have it. Splurging on alcohol simply because… err… you’re already drunk?!?

How much would you have saved if you could actually control your impulse spending every time the urge occurs?

The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person. 

- Stephen R. Covey

When you get rid of the desires to buy things you can live without, you will feel more in control and life will get easier. After all, a lot of the time when we feel life is hard, it’s because we haven’t managed our finances well enough - we’ve bought too much clothes, spent too much on the weekend, ate out too often, and simply just have a bad habit of spending beyond our means. Once we learn to stop impulse spending and make it a natural part of who we are to realize that “less is more” and enjoy minimal living, life will feel a whole lot easier and 80% of the stress we have in life will be eliminated.

2. Always be active

When you start working out consistently, you’ll notice increase in your energy level. And just like how it takes us several weeks and months to build a good habit, the mind and body also do the same.

When you work out, your metabolic rate goes up, your blood gets pumped up, and your heart muscles get stronger. The adrenaline rush and the sweat also help you get rid of stress and recharge your brain. 

Isn’t heart the most important organ in our body? You bet.

Here’s my theory on exercising,

Exercising without an adrenaline rush is like having sex without reaching an orgasm.

Moreover, when we are active, we feel fit and confident from within which helps us get more things us and feel better overall in all areas of life. When we feel fit and fresh, we speak more confidently, hold better posture, and become more productive at work too. Isn’t that just wonderful?

3. All the hard work will be worth it

There are two main reasons for this;

Everything you are good at now, you were a beginner at one point. Soccer? Guitar? DJing? Rock-climbing? Golf? Making sales? Writing? Building a website? Managing staff? Public speaking? Analyzing data? Not as much fun in the beginning…but it will definitely get more enjoyable and easier as the days go by. It’s all about how you look at it.

They make you stronger. All the emotional tiresome you have to go through in the initial stage of doing something new, the tedious long hours you trade in for something else you want, the willpower you have to build, the motivational phases you keep pushing yourself with — all of these make you stronger.

4. You are what you eat

Sometimes we forget and overlook these things we studied since primary school. We don’t just need food to give us energy to get through the day — this is why a lot of people eat junk food.

We need vitamins and minerals because our bodies cannot produce these. They are vital for the functioning and growth.

Therefore, we must obtain them from food.

Hence, JUNK FOODS DO NOT GIVE YOUR BODY ANY OF THESE!

Let’s see what these vitamins and minerals are for;

Vitamin A = hair, skin, and vision

Vitamin B = blood

Vitamin C = teeth, gums, and muscles.

Vitamin D = bones and teeth.

Vitamin E = blood, eyes, skin, liver, and lungs.

Vitamin K = blood to clot when we get a cut.

Calcium = bones and teeth

Copper = iron, blood, transportation of oxygen

Germanium = immune system

Iron = red blood cells, energy

Magnesium = heart, blood pressure, and nerve function

Manganese = bones, the metabolism of enzymes in the cells, protein and amino acid digestion and utilisation

Phosphorus = synthesise protein for growth, maintenance, and repair

Potassium = fluid balance, blood pressure, cell functioning

Zinc = immune system

Now, does this make you want to forever stop eating junk food with no nutritional value? ;)

5. Do one thing that makes you happy — every day

Whatever it is that makes you happy, take time to do.

Sometimes we’re bombarded with responsibilities that we forget to give ourselves joy. Happiness in every day can be derived from simple things like cooking, sitting down with a nice cup of tea reading a magazine, relaxing with your partner, playing with your kid, reading a book before bed, having a glass of red while watching your favorite show, playing football with the boys, or going to a comedy show.

Bills and responsibilities are to be taken care of. But don’t forget, that ‘YOU’ come first — you, your health, and your happiness. Take at least 10 minutes to an hour a day just to simply enjoy you.

6. Minimize drama, anger, and negativity

Drama and anger are sometimes somewhat inevitable as created by someone else in your life. What you can do is to try your best to put your mind at ease and let it go. Shift your focus. Learn to become resilient and handle the flame.

Stop associating with people who shove drama and pessimism down your throat.

7. Question how something can be done better

There is always an alternative to achieving something. Make it a habit to ask yourself question “How can this be done better?”.

This could be a process at work, at home, or just in one’s self.

How can I finish this task in a more efficient way? Can I create a new way of doing this? Can I come up with a better way that delivers the same or even a better result?

How can I get from point A to point B on a different path - different from what everyone else is doing? Is there a way to hack this?

How can I accelerate my personal growth? How can master this skill before everyone else does?

Write down your goals. Big goals. Big aspirations. Big dreams. Then think about how you can achieve those goals — via route A, B, C. Question everything and every process to find a better way of doing something. Google is your best friend. Ask questions. Ask better questions. Because the better questions will give you the better answers. Stay curious. Do your research. Give it a go.

8. Learn from experiences and mistakes

Throughout our lives, we will make several of what might seem like mistakes and failures. The secret is this — failure is not a failure. Failure is a part of the process. Without mistakes and failures, you don’t learn anything. You can protect yourself by learning from others’ mistakes. But what if your way of doing things was a new way? What if no one has done it before so you can’t learn it from others’ stories?

It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.

- Stephen R. Covey

Think about this….

You don’t know what feeling “satisfied with food” feels like until you experience “hunger”.

You don’t know what “joy” feels like if you’ve never been “sad”.

You don’t know how painful a “heartbreak” is if you’ve never been in love.

You need to go through the bad to appreciate the good.

Behind every mentally strong person is a struggle and strong willpower that has been consequently built upon it.

Learn from those experiences. Don’t simply just move on. Give yourself a pause. Learn what went wrong.

9. Learn from people you encounter

Every new person you encounter teaches you something or get you to see something in a slightly different way because everyone is different. The new friends you’ve met over the year — What have you learned from them?

Make it a habit to be open-minded and really listen.

Did you learn something about their hobbies or interests?

Did you learn something about their work?

Did you learn something from the way they do things?

Did you learn something from the way they think?

Did you spot any differences in perspectives, attitudes, and beliefs? Could this spark any interesting arguments or shed some light?

10. Take time to self-reflect

I have been a strong believer in the Inside-Out approach since my father gave me The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People book to read. It is one of the best paradigm-shifting books that has influenced me until today.

We must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as at the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.

The key to self-mastery is self-discover. We try to change habits. We try to do things better. But at the end of the day, it all starts from the way we see things. Because the way we see things affects how we feel which affects how we behave.

We can only achieve the quantum improvements in our lives as we quit hacking at the leaves of attitude and behaviour and get to work on the root, the paradigms from which our attitudes and behaviours flow.

At the core what we do, act, and show to the world is our paradigms. They are the foundation that hold everything we are up. They are the source of our attitudes and behaviours. We cannot act with integrity outside of them. We simply cannot maintain wholeness if we talk and walk differently than we see. No matter how busy your life is, take some time off to reflect.

With self-discovery at the core of self-mastery, you can feel complete and whole from within — from the inside out, rather than outside in

[brandmentalist]

WHY YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON HAPPINESS, NOT PRODUCTIVITY

We grew up learning the art of productivity — from getting up early to go to school, attending all the classes, to finishing homework, going to bed early and getting up the next morning just to do it all over again. We learned to embrace productivity from when we first attended kindergarten all the way through to college.

For the first 20 years of our lives, we were taught and trained productivity. If we could finish the work we’re supposed to finish, then we could play. If we are productive, then we’re more likely to do well at school and get applauded. Why do we place so much emphasis on productivity? Why do we care so much about success at a very young age?

Then the next thing you know, you graduate and start working, you realize that time is money. No matter where you go, no matter who it is, they seem to place the emphasis on the value of time vs money. Is there something missing from the equation here? Why is everyone either chasing time or money? Is that really the meaning of life? Is that what everyone wants at the end of the day?

Below are the reasons on what is wrong with productivity.

1. Productivity and Success & Wealth

Our obsession with productivity is heavily tied to the American dream. We work hard so that we can buy the things we want, live comfortably, and hopefully, have the freedom to enjoy life later on in life. Writing about this actually reminds me of one thing my Dad said to me since I was little,

“There’s no such thing as complete freedom. If you want to have financial freedom, then you lose your physical freedom. If you want to have physical freedom, then you lose financial freedom. But remember to never tie your happiness to success and vice versa.”

Most people fall into this trap. They work so hard that they don’t have time to enjoy life. They become stressed and sometimes depressed because they have such a high expectation of themselves. They work so hard in their 30s that they either burn out by their 40s or they get very sick that being alive becomes a huge blessing — let alone trying to enjoy life and have fun. They spend most of their professional life gathering wealth only to end up using it to pay for hospital bills.

“The most dangerous risk of all — the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.”

- Randy Komisar, Monk and the Riddle: The Education of a Silicon Valley Entrepreneur

2. Productivity and Effectiveness

We all seem to confuse productivity with effectiveness. Being busy doesn’t mean you are being effective. Finishing all the tasks on your to-do list doesn’t mean you’ve done all of them well.

Have you ever been in a situation where you have to work on different projects at once? I have and I absolutely hated it. I’d rather focus on one task at a time, get into the zone, make sure I do it well, and then move onto the next. But sometimes you can’t help but have to work on multiple projects at once.

What I’ve realized after years of multitasking is that we have to learn to say no. Don’t take all the work you can because of the opportunities or money. Opportunities will always come around. Your mental health won’t. You have to take your health as priority. It’s not worth feeling stressed and overwhelmed when you can slow down, have more time to think more clearly, and do better work as a result.

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”

- Steve Jobs

3. Productivity and Happiness

When you’re happy and healthy, everything you do is a reflection of that. When you wake up fresh, inspired and happy, your brain runs at full speed. You become more productive and do better work as a result.

“I think when people say they dread going into work on Monday morning, it’s because they know they are leaving a piece of themselves at home. Why not see what happens when you challenge your employees to bring all of their talents to their job and reward them not for doing it just like everyone else, but for pushing the envelope, being adventurous, creative, and open-minded, and trying new things?”

- Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos

This is why a lot of new companies are focusing on having a culture that embraces employees’ happiness. Look at Zappos, Google, and Johnson & Johnson - companies with big purposes and grand visions. They realize that employees’ health and wellbeing are the most important things and that they are crucial factors that attract people to their companies. Moreover, they know the importance of play - not only does it help employees recharge themselves and bond with their co-workers, it also fuels their creativity.

At the end of the day, no matter what we do, no matter what we try to achieve in life, we want to feel joy and be happy. Success means nothing without those you love around you. Wealth means nothing without good health. Cherish those and make the most of your life. Remember - never get too busy with life that you forget to live.

[brandmentalist]

[brandmentalist]

5 Facts About Life I’ve Come To Realize

1. Life is about trial and error.

When you're a teenager, you feel like searching for who you are is the key psychological change that's going on in your life. You seek to establish your identity and find out what you like and dislike doing. You think that as you get older you will be more sure about who you are, what you do, and what you should do. But as you get older, you realize that you're still trying and not feeling certain about the outcome of what you do. You change jobs. You move countries. Your relationships fall apart only to start blossoming again with someone new. You give something a go, you try your best, it may fail, and you move on.

Everyone is trying to figure out their sh*t just like you. Even ones that seem most assured are as confused, dazed, and unsure deep down inside as you are. They just pretend that everything is okay. Some people feel ashamed of displaying their feeling of uncertainty, thinking that it's showing vulnerabilities and a sign of weakness. Some people are open about their trial-and-error path, believing that it leads them to finding themselves more and more as they go.

Whatever your path might be like, you realize that as you get older, you still have to keep figuring things out and don't really know where you're actually going. You might think "No, this is bullshit. I know exactly what I want to do and what I'm doing." But no, deep down you still feel uncertain and unsure - you just suppress the feeling.You may have thought that as you get older, you will become more assured and know exactly what you're doing, but it doesn't seem that way. Your parents who you thought were the most assured when you're growing up are probably as confused as you are. They're still figuring out what to do with their retirements and when they should retire. They get more and more scared of illnesses that are creeping up to them. Some are also looking for new love to replace the old one that has died and are probably more confused than you are about relationships, love, and life.

When you realize that life is trial and error and that it will continue to be that way, you feel more acceptant of life and circumstances that life throws at you. No matter what comes into your life, it will go. No matter what you decide to do, it will either make your heart grow fonder or languish - you live and learn. No matter what risk you take, you will be okay.

Instead of trying to feel certain about life, you learn to embrace uncertainty. Because once you do, you will feel the most certain about yourself and life. After all, that is the only constant in life.

So take risks.... because it's not a big deal if you fail. It's just another error. You can try again.

2. Life has its own flow.

Have you heard of the saying that timing is everything? Well, that's what I'm talking about here. As you get older, you realize that you can't force time. Life has a way of unfolding at its own pace. Life has its own natural rhythms.

Every little thing in life is building you up for something bigger. Those achievements you had at school built your self-confidence and self-esteem. The junior roles you had when you first graduated prepared you for the bigger roles even though you felt like you were doing minor tasks most of the time. Those people you dated led you to knowing more about yourself, what you want and don't want, and what you're compatible with.

Life has its own pace. You can have it all but not all at once. And if you don't keep your focus right, you might not achieve anything.

3. Life has its own energy.

Everyone wants to be happy. In the path to happiness, you seek to understand who you are, where you stand, what your nature is, and what your interests and passions are. When you get to do what comes naturally to you - whether it be handy tasks, creative hobbies, or adventurous activities - you feel most alive.

Unfortunately, many people don't allow themselves to flow with life. They fight life. These people may be working hard towards some goal - maybe academic or professional success. They put aside their flowing, their natural love, and their passions in life in order to reach this goal. They haven't let life run at its own pace and fuelled by its own energy. As a result, they feel stressed, tired, worn out, and drained which leads them to find something that could help bring them back to a normal state of energy. Some rely on sports, meditation, yoga, and a moderate amount of alcohol consumption. Some have lost their souls to overindulgence in alcohol, gambling, cigarettes, and drugs.

Life has its own energy and when the energy flow is blocked or abused, you feel stressed and lost - you feel like you need control. Turning to bad influences for emotional uplifts, you feel like you're in control once again - that you can control how you feel. However, regardless of how good the emotional assistance makes you feel, relying your emotions and energy on them only leads you to losing control of yourself and your life even more.

4. Life gets easier when you can manage your emotions better.

In the early years of your life as an adult, you might feel like you're still finding your feet and that life will get easier as you get older. However, as you get older you realize that life doesn't get easier. In fact, what gets easier is managing your own emotions as your mental strength develops. 

My Dad always said to me ...

Everyone was born with the ability to become successful. But on the path to that, the obstacles and challenges everyone has to face are their own emotions. The ability to manage one's emotions and develop self-discipline is what determines whether they will be successful.

On another note, if you have signed up to my mailing list, you would have gotten a prompt email asking you for topic suggestions. I have received quite a few responses and most of them are related to how to deal with stress and negative emotions and thoughts.

Life gets easier when you become more positive and more resilient - when you know how to bounce back from setbacks in life, combat negative thoughts, stay calm in irritating situations, and let go of bad people whom you may have loved.

Being self-disciplined is not easy. It requires a lot of self-control. However, I believe that when you live life in flow - when you do the things you love and are naturally good at and move at your own natural pace - you don't feel like you need to heavily rely on something that can instantly fix your energy. You just flow. You feel energized. You feel passionate - and in this case, you work hard towards your goal because your passion intrinsically motivates you. You feel happy.

5. Life's end goal is not to find happiness.

The goal in life is not to search for happiness. In fact, all you have to do is to stop trying to find happiness and just be happy. When you feel like the current state is not good enough, you're not happy enough, you start looking else where. This is when the search for happiness keeps going on forever and you wonder why you never feel happy.

It all starts with acceptance - the acceptance of self, of circumstances, and of situations.

Life will never be perfect. But life seems perfect when you've accepted that life is not perfect. Happiness comes when you accept the imperfection, the flaws, the ups and downs, and enjoy the moments in life. Realize that everything is fleeting - the good thing will pass, the bad thing will pass - just accept life as it is. Adjust and adapt yourself to situations as much as you can - if you're tight on money this month, then spend less; if you hate your job, then quit or plan to quit; if your partner is abusive, then break up with him/her; if you're prone to sickness, then start exercising and eat well. 

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Life is not meant to be perfect, nor is it meant to be easy.

Life is a game. You are the player. And the players pride themselves in their ability to beat challenges.

You may not realize this but we seem to constantly find challenges for ourselves to get through - whether it be getting to the top of our career, buying a car, owning a house, moving to another country, having a kid and then another kid, starting our own business, investing in businesses, learning another language, or doing triathlon. 

Life has its own flow. Find your natural self. Do what you're good at. And let life take its course. 

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Some people live in the moment. Some people live in the past. But what is most exciting is when what we do today, at this moment, is planting seeds to create a beautiful botanical garden…when each brick we’re laying is to build something that could potentially become Rome. To me, this is what makes life worth living for.

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