#breakdown is going
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microdosing on killing myself by reading eruri fic exclusively for three days straight
#there is something so very delicious about how loud all the things they dont say are#what if duty brought u together and kept u apart#what if not saying all these things is killing u but saying them would kill u twice as fast#because u know u know u aren't making it out alive not both of u anyway and maybe never having it will be easier than losing it#its just sooooooo good#everything is so tainted by melancholy and death ♡#its just doom and tragedy and repression and yearning and denial and so close to the surface it might as well be spoken out loud#but it never can and never will#and thats how my bi yearly 3 day reading fics for a pairing i havent thought of in 5 years and will not think of again for another 5#breakdown is going#i haven't watched or engaged with snk since like 2017#but by god does eruri still have a hold on me#every few years i remember them out of the blue and its like lightning striking#txt.me
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He's never happy
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#katara#atla fanart#prince zuko#atla art#azula art#azula fanart#atla azula#princess azula#atla zuko#zuko art#zuko fanart#katara art#katara fanart#atla katara#katara of the southern water tribe#the gaang#atla meme#agni kai#The Last Agni Kai#sozins comet#From “I'm never happy” to “Am I happy?”#That's what I call character development#Oh Zuzu what are we going to do with you#(It's okay everyone still loves you)#(Except for Lala)#(But she's in the middle of a breakdown so it's understandable)#(She'd love you too if she was in a right place)
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let's hear it for women's wrongs
#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane art#arcane jinx#thank you to everyone who joined me in my mental breakdown over the past 24 hours#this is maybe my quickest turnaround for starting art after watching something#i started this before i'd even finished s1#i had to stop after s2 ep1 because i have to go to work tomorrow and i knew i'd be up ALL NIGHT#i just think she can have a little war crime as a treat#she reads to me as that really tiny girl wearing MASSIVE shoes tearing it up in the pit and somehow being the most dangerous one there#my friend said apparently this fandom has a thing where after you watch it. all your creative skills get buffed#and. yeah
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INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 1x2 | 1x3 | 1x4
#i was going to make a gifset of different instances of the word family being used in s1#WHEN I NOTICED THIS#and now I'm lowkey having a mental breakdown aBOUT HOW MUCH LESTAT WANTED HIM AND LOUIS TO BE A FAMILY#but Louis never validates it until this moment with claudia AND LESTAT LOOKS SO HAPPY???????!?!?!?!?!?!?!#someone euthanise me I'm having too many feelings about these losers#amc iwtv#amc interview with the vampire#iwtvedit#loustat#unholy family#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#my iwtv gifs#my gifs
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literally sick with grief that Bruce never got to have a baby
bruce never got to stumble, bleary-eyed in the predawn light to a crib already gently shushing and hold a small, warm body to his chest.
never got to sing a silly song about tying your shoes or help sound out words on a page.
all of bruces babys came to him half grown already, small enough to hide in his shadows but big enough to already dream about stepping out of them
#and now i have to go to work???? as if im not about to have a mental breakdown??????????????#whatever you do dont think about bruce sitting for tea parties and jumping in puddles with his kids itll destroy you#remember me..... farewell......#bruce wayne
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even dogs pass the mirror test
#hello again everyone. how's it going#isat loop#in stars and time#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#isat#lucabyteart#isat spoilers#so. had this idea Before getting my hands on the artbook and being validated. literally have a voice note from 4:30am on the 8th where#i frantically noted down this just horrid horrid horrid caption because i'd been musing on the sasasap Dress line all day i suppose#just kind of rotating in my brain the way any kind of first time trying on new clothes for them would be .#just absolutely mental breakdown material and not one i think would be recovered from quickly. they hate being in their own skin#like. a lot? like a lot. the collateral of any kind of transfemme read was barely in my mind until it ended up relevant again while i was#actively working on this. because christ that's a bad combo. 2x different forms of body dysphoria in one. maybe even 3x somehow#plus any scenario where they get clothes is... likely gifted. something they react viciously negatively to in game and i doubt#would improve thereafter. just a veritable katamari of disgust and self-loathing#like i was mostly just thinking abt how a lot of our collective depictions of loop being alienated from their body are rather abstract#in a body horror way mostly. on account of loop being more of a metaphor than a person half the time. so i think i wanted to depict#something closer to just. a human level of body dysphoria. no focus on the whole duplicate thing just... raw disgust for the self#but with the addition of recent discussion and playing ball more with the she/her loop and transfem loop angle...#scenario of leaning into femininity to try throw off suspicion on who they are PLUS realising they might want that PLUS the party#trying to use this to bond with them PLUS body dysphoria PLUS new!gender dysphoria PLUS the usual revulsion for wanting and desire#like. that is a catastrophic combination . not coming out of that one without it getting worse for a few weeks thereafter#that's a real lash out at everyone around them and then recede in shame type breakdown. which im sure looks interesting from#the party's pov because jesus christ that touched a nerve something awful (<- they only have half the context AT BEST)#. so . there's your free scenario to ponder on if you'd want to. seeing as ive done a picture without a shitload of words on it for once#ALSO don't get smart with me in the tags about the mirror test being an absolutely ass test in most regards re: self-awareness#or that things like minnows pass it. i'm a fellow pedant dont worry. it's just that minnow doesn't really have the same ring as dog yknow?#this is supposed to be like an absolutely excruciatingly self loathing thought spoken aloud of a caption. it's pithy and cruel on purpose#and more than a little inspired by (reblogged yesterday) liminal space's 'there is no other dog. it's just you'
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dows anyone fw my transformers warrior cats. does anyone fw warrior cats transforemrs
#i hope u can tell who everyone is lol….#these r obvi not meant to be realistic btw im just having fun#no thought put into this au lore wise. i like drawing kitties#good lird. i am going to tag them all#optimus prime#megatron#tf bumblebee#tf arcee#i did both her usual design + tfp for funsies#tf ratchet#wheeljack#tf jazz#tf prowl#elita one#rodimus#starscream#tf jetfire#tf knockout#tf breakdown#tf shockwave#tf soundwave#pheewwww okay#transformers#tf#tf fanart#warrior cats#wc#my art#bongarter#im i;n hell
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I'm cracking up at the idea of Fourteen bumping into an old companion in Tesco's or something and them instantly being like 'YOU'RE BACK? WHAT HAPPENED? IS IT THE DALEKS ? IS THE WORLD ENDING AGAIN? DO YOU NEED HELP?' And Fourteen is just stood there like 'i'm just here for milk??'
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#david tennant#catherine tate#dw spoilers#dw#this is both sad and hilarious btw#like that funky little alien is going to have a breakdown the second someone implies he might be needed to save the universe again
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They have fun
#transformers#maccadam#tf fanart#kobd#knockout#tf knockout#breakdown#tfp breakdown#bdko#he's going to frag that car
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A Bird's Wings - Part 30
masterpost this is a first draft, please no editing or concrit <3
Danny’s first thought when he woke up in the morning was how rested he was.
It was almost shocking.
He’d been so exhausted for for the past few weeks that to feel rested was a relief that almost made him cry.
Danny’s second thought was about his wings, which he still seemed to have. That was a pretty quick revelation caused by the fact that he was asleep on his stomach. The wings pulled at the sheets as he stretched lazily. At least they hurt less than yesterday at least. He was careful as he sat up, a cumbersome affair with the wings. It basically resulted in Danny getting his legs off the side of the large bed and simply standing up backwards, but at least it did result in him standing.
Grateful for Alfred’s thoroughness, Danny brushed his teeth before taking an awkward shower. He kept to the shower wand only and tried to keep as much water off his wings as possible. Despite the care, he still felt (and looked) like a rain ruffled bird after he had dressed in the modified sweater and a pair of his normal pants. He did what he could to at least tame his hair, swallowed his morning medication, and left the sanctuary of his borrowed room.
“Master Danny, impeccable timing,” Alfred said when Danny came across him in what Danny thought was the foyer. “Breakfast will be served in half an hour in the kitchen. Would you like some coffee or tea to start your day?”
“Coffee would be great, if it’s not any trouble,” Danny said with a bashful smile. He still wasn’t quite sure how to handle Alfred’s uncanny ability to show up and offer his service.
“A standard request of coffee is hardly trouble,” Alfred said in such a way that Danny felt bad for trying to be polite.
He didn’t think that his Midwest manners were going to get him very far in this house. Manor.
Still trying to puzzle out how his life got him into things like this, Danny followed Alfred to the kitchen. Bruce was already there, looking still half a sleep as he sipped on his own mug of coffee. For the moment, the table was children free.
“Cream or sugar?” Alfred ask as he headed towards the counter.
“Cream please,” Danny said. He turned to Bruce and gave a little smile. “Morning, Bruce.”
“Good morning, Danny,” Bruce said, his voice a low, sleepy rumble. (Danny did his best to fight the blush that the tone caused.) “Would you like some help drying off your wings?”
So much for not blushing. “Ah, yeah. That would be really nice. I tried to do what I could, but…”
Bruce chuckled softly. “Completely understandable. It’s a very awkward angle to try and manage.” He set down his mug and stood. “Fortunately for you, Damian is quite the animal buff and I was sent some very extensive articles on caring for wings.”
“Oh gods,” Danny said. The words were muffled by the way he buried his burning face into his hands.
“Damian simply wants the best for you,” Bruce pointed out.
“Sure, but still,” Danny said. He rubbed at his face as he let himself lean his head back and stare up at the ceiling for a moment, “I’m not a pet.”
Danny saw Bruce come over out the corner of his eye, towel in hand, and rolled his head a little to glance at him. He thought it was progress that he didn’t flinch when Bruce reached out, clearly telegraphing his motion, to run a hand over Danny’s wing.
“No one thinks that you’re a pet, Danny,” Bruce said with so much sincerity in his eyes that Danny had to look away. “Knowing how to take care of your wings is the same as making sure that Damian has easy access to vegetarian meals or that the computers at the manor have a dyslexic friendly font installed for Dick or that Barbara can easily get around in her wheelchair. Your wings, even if only sometimes, are part of you. And for better or worse, my family and I seem rather intent to see you well.”
Danny rubbed at the back of his neck as he glanced back at Bruce. “Part of it may be that I’m not exactly used to that sort of attention. I mean, Lucius tries to make me take care of myself, as well as some coworkers, but in Gotham that sort of feels more like new rogue prevention,” Danny joked.
Luckily Bruce chuckled at that. “I am sorry that we’re so overwhelming.”
“No, don’t be. It’s… excuse the bird analogy, but it’s just a very full nest, isn’t it? It feels cozy. It’s just something different to try and wrap my head around,” Danny explained. “And I won’t pretend that I don’t still have issues, as much as it’s something that I’ve worked really hard on personally and in therapy, dying at fourteen leaves a person with some issues.”
Not to mention being a super hero, staying half dead, dying a second time, and all of the other things that went on during his high school years.
“Yes, I would imagine so,” Bruce said after a pause. His voice was soft and sad.
“Bruce—”
“Sorry,” Bruce said. “When Jason was fifteen, we thought he had died. He ended up out of reach and with extensive brain trauma and memory loss. I know how much it effected him. I’m sorry you had to go through something at that age also.”
Danny squeezed one of Bruce’s hands where it was clasped tightly around a towel. “He’s here now. He’s alive and he seems happy. He has a boyfriend and everything. I’m not saying it doesn’t still pull at him, but it hasn’t dragged him to the bottom. At least not anymore.”
Bruce smile was a somber, soft thing. “Thank you. And you’re here too.”
Danny blinked at that. Bruce wasn’t wrong. He didn’t know almost any of the story, but he wasn’t wrong. Wings and all, Danny was still alive. He smiled softly back. “Yeah, I am.”
#I might be flirting with a breakdown#but we're going to ignore that and write#dp x dc#danny/bruce#birdritch
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It's still interesting that TBoB called more attention to Stan's control over his mindscape (And if you go with the interpretation that the lost pages are partial truths that are heavily influenced by Bill, then he's the one insisting that only someone with training should be able to have that much control over the mind.)






Meanwhile we have a memory!Stan. Someone who apparently knows too much and is rather aware for being a simple memory.

From the Wheel of Shame, we know Bill was able dig up all kinds of dirt on Stan but... that wasn't why he was there in the first place, was it?
Bill couldn't find the code immediately despite a memory of Stan opening the safe being a few hours old at most and decided to have Mabel try find it for him (The original concept of the ep had it far more hidden but this was likely cut because of time constraints)

Ford did experiments on Stan's mind which likely meant using Project Mentem and actually looking around his mindscape, and his only reaction was to comment on his jokes-- despite what little we the audience know being enough to render us sobbing wrecks
(yes I refuse to shut up about this part cos the book's intro is extremely underrated)


Stan was able to replace his memories of Ford with the swingset instead and managed to hide Ford in his Bar Mitzvah memory. And that's not even mentioning the lack of visible Portal and Stan o' War which noticeably show up in Ford's dreamscape (the broken swingset manifesting anyway pains me tho)








He subconsciously has misdirects for his secrets that are both silly and manages to disturb everyone too
And while Bill-as-Soos being bored by the vending machine memory is a joke that's basically the crew's way of going "hey remember the thing way back in the first ep that's going to show up in the next one?" and in-universe appears to be Stan slipping up, it's interesting that they had Stan input the wrong code when it's consistent literally every other time its inputted (especially when it shows up correctly in the very next episode)
It's even possible that the safe code that Bill found could have been a misdirect too but we'll never know since the safe got blown open by dynamite.





Stan was able to buy time by making his mind blank despite being genuinely terrified when Bill enters his mind (to the point that he breaks character and uses his own voice to yell), and could conjure up his living room (in colour opposed to his mind's regular greyscale) to make sure Bill didn't have enough room to flee, slamming the door in his face before the effects of the memory gun kicked in.
(EDIT: Random door analysis here)

And maybe the twins eventually told him that Bill had already been inside his mind after their W3 reunion, but all we know was that his conscious self was left in the dark for ages and wasn't really aware of Bill until Weirdmageddon.




TBoB showing McGucket's dreamscape also brings up the idea of the effects of the memory gun manifesting differently to each person. To Stan's mindscape, the memory wipe manifests as blue flames which immediately brings to mind Bill's powers but it's a far lighter shade (maybe to more closely match the memory gun and its eventual fade to white?)
The end of TBoB and the website poem also firmly reminds us about Stan's connection to fire but there's also the question if Stan himself is actually aware of it...
#but also j3 having ford read dipper's entries post dd&md but not having him know about the kids' encounters with bill is so kashdskahd#cos that implies he immediately skipped the pages that mentioned stan 😭and didn't read mabel's entries#oh for him to actually react to dipper's observations about stan's mindscape....#stan pines#stanley pines#bill cipher#gravity falls#gf meta#yes of course my brain is still going ' same coin theory ooooo' at this#cos i doubt that j1 has any mention of the mindscape and it's not like stan would have studied this stuff#imagine iconic hippy hater actually mediating on purpose#i'm still waving my arms about stan potentially seeing the reader's version of tbob tho#but even if that ain't the case bill having a breakdown from him reading him like a book is still iconic#dunno if this is coherent and i'm pretty sure all this stuff is things most folks know but idk some people didn't read the journal#some folks don't know about the poem!!!! truly the biggest tragedy
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Slow mornings in Ba Sing Se.
I needed something soft today, so here's a little sketch for @nerdylizj's breathtaking fic Forgetting is a kind of mercy.
#zutara#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#katara#atla fanart#prince zuko#atla art#Forgetting is a kind of mercy#Gonna tag this as Lee and Kya AU because *ahem* it kinda IS#lee from the tea shop#zuko as lee#Lee and Kya From The Tea Shop AU#Lee and Kya AU#zutara fanart#zutara fic#zutara au#zutara fanfiction#zutara art#katara x zuko#zuko x katara#atla zuko#katara fanart#katara art#atla katara#katara of the southern water tribe#Listen. They're everything to me.#I was about to have a tiny breakdown earlier so I thought “well a ZK cuddle should bring me some joy”. And it did.#This is (obviously) just a sketch but I'd love to fully render it some time soon. I just have like a thousand wips going on.#But omg do I need the fluff
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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"Where would I be without you?" "Probably still looking for Mount Rushmore."
Mark Grayson & Samantha "Eve" Wilkins in Invincible Season 3 Episodes 1 - 3
#i hate to reteach myself how to gif for this and literally became the james acaster british bake show mean but we made it through#only one breakdown was had#mark x eve#mark grayson#samantha eve wilkins#atom eve#invincible#invincible show#markeve#eveincible#~#invincibleedit#had to** i've typed too many tags to go back and fix it
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8b buddie is so funny because it's buck learning the lesson of being alone and trying to be an independent human being who can survive without clinging to others and eddie being like 'wait. no.'
#it's like buck is having his white lady coming of age I don't need a man era and eddie is angry that he's not in a romcom anymore#911 abc#buddie#buck trying to let eddie go and eddie being like but I liked your teeth marks :(#buck trying to be supportive about eddie leaving and eddie being like NO ur supposed to imprison me in ur ribcage!!!!#truly hope that buck subletting will cause a breakdown of unprecedented proportions.#eddie trying to get buck to buy a house for three for some reason. hiding buck's things so he can't pack#normal eddie diaz behavior
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놓치고 십지 않아, 부디 내게 상처를 내줘.
i don't want to let you go, please, leave me scars.
#alnst#break from kpop to give you my latest mental breakdown: alien stage round 6#woke up to my gc going crazy bc we all used to watch every alnst update in senior year#ivantill i heart u soososososo much love a doomed narrative of obsession and love and sacrifice#ivantill#alien stage#art
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