#bringing up smurfy

[maskedlotus65]

HERE ME OUT!!!! I MADE A SMURF AU!!!!

(admittedly I got the idea while on Char. Ai, BUT STILL!)

What if...

Neither Gargamel OR Papa Smurf...

Changed Vexy and Hackus into real smurfs?

What if instead they were found by....

I'm calling it my Mother-Willow AU, still working on it a bit.

For some context:

The AU starts before the events of the Smurfs The Lost Village movie.

Gargamel makes Vexy and Hackus using the Smurfette recipe, hoping to make his own smurfs instead of catching them all the time. However, due to either a smudged ingredient or failed memory, he is unable to repeat the results. So he ends up with, as he says; "Two utterly useless failed experiments."

Vexy and Hackus don't have the best first months or years with Gargamel, since, as expected, he isn't the world's best father. He insults, ignores, and pushes aside their issues at any chance. But since they don't have any other role models, or at least a positive one, they take whatever pride Gargamel very rarely shows. Other than that, they spend their days tormenting Azrael or looking for anything to do that would make their creator proud.

One day, while Gargamel is out collecting mandrake, Vexy and Hackus leave his hovel to explore he forest, but end up lost. As they wonder what they should do, wandering the forest, Willow stumbles upon them. Taking pity, Willow brings them to Smurfy Grove, and is able to change them from a dull grey to a Smurfy blue.

She takes them in as her daughter and son, making sure they come to no harm after hearing how they described their past life with Gargamel, and the two never returned to Gargamel's hovel, living in Smurfy Grove instead. They learn the ways of the village, and soon the others accept them.

Vexy and Hackus are very close to their new mother, having never felt such caring love in their lives. Though it took some time, the two are able to put what they know and do to good use. Vexy is often helping Willow with her natural remedies, magic, and spells, while Hackus takes on more heavy lifting duties like building or self defense. Vexy has also taken a liking to stork and dragonfly flying. The two still occasionally prank others, but it's no longer out of maliciousness.

I'm planning on doing some doodles of the AU with more details, maybe even a comic version of the movie with Vexy an Hackus in it. Though it may take a bit since the AU's a little work in progress, I don't want it to be a "and Bumblebee" situation.

I imagine Gargamel, when his future captures Smurfette instead of a different Smurf, he makes an offhanded remark of "Would've been worse if you had gotten the other two," making Smurfette think about that in the back of her mind. I'm also working on how they'd react to Smurfette as well, since Gargamel would occasionally mention to them about having a sister who "abandoned" him when they were still living with him.

Anyways, hope you like my little au, I hope it's not too much.

[clverse-apau]

Ancient Smurf Groups/Tribes

As we talk about this AU there will be several times where we bring up different groups/tribes of ancient smurfs that the current two villages we see today are descendants of.

As of now, there are 17 different groups planned out. Each are unique and have different traits depending on the biome they live in. But they all have a single common ancestor, that being Mother Nature who made the first three original groups out of a rare clay.

There were originally only three groups of smurfs, each having a population of about 100 before their population kinda exploded as they split into different groups. These three groups were the Pangea, Mountain and Giant Smurfs!

Here we will give you the basic rundown on each of those groups as best we can.

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Pangea Smurfs:

This Ancient group was the first Smurf civilization in existence. The first generation of which started out with a population of 100, all made with clay by Mother Nature and existed when the Supercontinent Pangea was still a land mass and was just starting to break up.

These smurfs were found to have named themselves after colours.

These smurfs were also seen to have been travelling on all fours, only standing to make themselves look bigger to scare off predators.

They were also known to have sharper teeth and claws than today's smurfs. Preferring to use their teeth and claws to hunt or scavenge for food.

Pangea Smurfs were known to be nomadic, only settling down in separated groups when the continent really started splitting up. Most of the smurf groups we talk about are descended from this group. So just assume they split off from the Pangea Smurfs unless specified otherwise. 

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Cave Smurfs (Aka Mountain Smurfs):

This group's signature Animal is a cat.

Started out living on a mountain but migrated to the caves underneath.

These smurfs have fur and tend to be very fluffy due to living in a cold climate.

Are typically named after rocks/stones/gems or anything that can be found on a mountain or underground.

When trying to be formal/polite, these smurfs address each other with their jobs/positions before their name. (Example: Observationalist Granite. Researcher Jasper, Smurf Leader Malachite ect)

These smurfs typically build their houses in the walls of the cave (think smurfy underground hobbit holes)

These smurfs were also known for their worship of cats and the ancient cat goddess Bastet, believing them to be bringers of great luck and believing themselves to be descended from cats. They built several temples and statues made of different materials in honour of cats and were known to have a few roaming around the caverns.

They were also known to love cod but mainly fed them to their cats, rarely eating it themselves. Whenever fishers caught cod, most of it would be left in beautifully decorated food bowls to keep the cats constantly fed.

These smurfs also cultivated a group of rare glow worms that produced rare purple silk, which was mainly traded to the Nocturnal Smurfs, since they really love the colour purple.

These smurfs are also known to be very small, caused by an accident while Mother Nature was making the first generation of Pangea Smurfs. A few were accidentally made very small and were released on a mountain hoping that they would grow bigger as generations went on, this did not happen in fact they only got smaller. (The Wyrms)

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Giant Smurfs

This group's signature Animal is a Mole. 

These smurfs are exactly as their name suggests. Giant. These smurfs are huge compared to the rest of the groups. (Example: Giant oc Rose is about the size of Azrael on all fours) This is because Mother Nature accidentally made a few too big while she was working on the first generation of Pangea Smurfs. She released them in a forest, thinking they’d get smaller as generations went on. They did not, in fact they got slightly bigger.

These smurfs are known to be nomadic but have been known to settle with other groups.

They are also known for having very long hair and don't really like to cut it. They also like putting plants and other things in their hair for decoration. They also do not like their hair touched by others, it is a great show of trust if a Giant smurf lets you brush or style their hair.

Giant smurfs love to sing as they travel, it is very common to hear them singing as one big group. And much like the howl from Zootopia, if one starts singing, the rest will quickly join in.

Some of these smurfs have been known to have hooves, not all of them but some.

[loveforvanity]

One week after the Valentine's Day Masquerade Ball, Smurfazalea got in her overcoat, scarf, hat, boots and returned to Smurf Village that cold Sunday morning. She was bringing her new friend Vanity Smurf a bouquet of yellow roses and purple orchids to express her gratitude and admiration after he kindly talked and danced with her. Vanity also showed her his mushroom hut that night. It was an out-of-the-blue experience for them both. Smurfazalea was excited.

A: "I remember. Vanity's house was dark pink in the moonlight. Oh! That's the place. Now, the daylight brightens the colors differently. I cannot wait to see him again!"

The sun was rising. The air was cold. She knocked on his door. Vanity opened the door and happily welcomed his new friend into his place. He was very pleased to see her after remembering the first conversation they had together. The two had lots to talk about.

A: "Hello, Vanity! It's Smurfazalea! I brought you a nice bouquet!"

V: "Oh, roses and orchids! Look at those colors! Mmm, what a sweet scent. Thank you so much, Smurfazalea!"

V: "Come right in and have a seat while I place these pretty flowers in this pretty vase. And, voila. So pleasant!"

A: "Yes, they look nicer in the vase. Oh, I carefully picked them for you, Vanity. Just to say thanks for spending time with me at the ball. I had a really exciting time!"

V: "Ah, so did I! You and I had a smurfy time talking and dancing. The smurfs also had a lot of fun."

A: "Ah, but not as much as we did."

V: "Right you are. Oh, you noticed my portraits. What do you think of my decor?"

A: "Delightful! Your house is very cute inside and out! And so elegant. So tidy. Say, you have fine taste in interior decor!"

V: "Why, thank you! Smurfette helped me with the floral arrangements and Painter Smurf painted those stunning portraits of me. They really bring out my smurfsquisite charm, don't you agree?"

A: "I sure do. Especially that one! Oh, that's a keeper. You know, you remind me of myself in that one."

V: "Really? You have your own gallery, too?"

A: "Oh, do I! Since I was a little smurfling in my hometown, I've painted my own self portraits every year to better my skills. And to express my own individuality. I'll never part with my special portraits."

V: "Good. I'm glad you really appreciate your art. And mine as well. Say, may I see your art gallery sometime?"

A: "You're quite welcome to, Vanity. After all, you and I see eye to eye on art and beauty. By the way, I noticed you keep a mirror in every corner of your house."

V: "Oh, my mirrors are my most treasured possessions. I just cannot part without them. Unless I had no choice, under certain circumstances I've been through. Don't tell me you also have a mirror collection, too." *chuckling*

A: *chuckling* "My collection is not as abundant because my house is smaller than yours. But, I remembered the beauty school I graduated had these secret AI mirrors that could do many things."

V: "Secret AI mirrors? Whatever is an AI mirror you speak of?"

A: "Artificial Intelligence mirrors. Innovative mirrors that project vivid imagery of the past, present, and future. Not only that, but it tracks missing items and answers your questions. It's more than just your average type mirror." *Winks*

V: "That's sounds absosmurfily smurftastic!"

A: "I had a feeling you would love this advanced mirror, Vanity. I have one that my professor gave me and it's been my sacred token of accomplishment ever since. At school, she always told me and the girls that the mirror will only open up to those who love themselves and the one closest to their heart. So far, I've asked the mirror about my fondest dreams and it still replies "Only time will tell, my dear. The answer will be found within you."

V: "Well, keep holding onto your dreams, Smurfazalea. They'll guide you like stars. And most importantly, give love and love will always come back to you. Just like a mirror."

A: "Oh, those are beautiful words of advice. Did you think of it yourself?"

V: "Let's just say it thought of me since I first saw my teensy-weensy smurfy self in my little baby mirror. To this day, I have never parted with me or with my friends."

A: "Oh, that's sweet. You are really respectful to yourself and your friends. I like that. And you have an optimistic way of looking at things. You know Vanity, I'm glad we met."

V: "My thoughts, too! You're a smurfy friend who really appreciates me, that's for sure. I like you, Smurfazalea. Let's always be friends. Promise?"

A: "I promise. And thanks for being kind, Vanity." *Thinking to herself* (wow, he's nice to have around)

[dailynicknews]

via NickALive!

[coconuttyglittersmurf]

The Smurfs: A New Touch Of Blue synopsis thread Part 7

The Okidoki! AKA Okey-Dokey!

Jokey has a new prank: Grouchy has a tendency to say ‘no’ to anything and everything, so he gives him a potion which has some very surprising effects. Whenever anyone asks him to do something, he says “okey dokey” and does it straight away... even if the thing they’re asking is for him to go to Gargamel’s hovel! 

AKA Smurfy Magic Duel 

Papa Smurf wants to prove to SmurfWillow AKA Willow that alchemy is more powerful than her “natural” magic. He invites her to come visit his lab for a little demonstration, which fails to impress the leader of the Smurf girls. The two wizards end up challenging each other to a magic duel. But their duel gets cut short when Papa Smurf inadvertently makes Gargamel and Azrael appear in the middle of the village! 

The Two Dimwits Make a Pair AKA Doctor Brainy & Mister Dumb 

When Brainy wants to prove that he has the heaviest brain and therefore is the most intelligent, he invents the “Smurf-scales”. Unfortunately, instead of weighing his brain, the contraption turns Brainy into a complete dummy. The village loses its brainiac smurf and gains a second Dopey/Dimwitty, which isn’t without consequences... 

Gargamel in Drool! AKA Shell Game 

Gargamel turns himself into a snail so that Farmer brings him back to the Smurf’s Village. Except once there, Gargamel is unable to turn back to his former self! Stuck as a snail, he becomes Dopey/Dimwitty’s pet and tries to find a way to escape. But as a snail, you never move too fast... 

Blossom Goes Green AKA Blossom Goes Wild!

When SmurfBlossom AKA Blossom gets into a huge fight with SmurfStorm AKA Stormy and SmurfLily AKA Lily, she announces she’s moving out of Smurfy Grove and moving in with - Wild! Much to his surprise. 

Smurf Us From Here! AKA No Smurf Out!

When Scaredy is afraid a ghost is haunting his house, he asks Handy to make it airtight. But the house becomes so secure that they end up getting locked inside, with Brainy, SmurfBegonia AKA Begonia SmurfBlossom AKA Blossom, and then Chef. How will these very different Smurfs manage to get along? And above all... escape! 

Greedy's Soufflé AKA Souffle Shuffle

When Chef sprains his ankles after a fight with Greedy, he’s left without anyone available to take his soufflé to the upcoming Spring Festival. Greedy offers his help, but how can you trust Greedy to not chow down the soufflé before it gets to its destination? Since everyone has already left the village, Chef doesn’t have the choice. It will be up to Greedy to prove that he’s up to the task! 

Timid's Cure AKA Curing Private Timid 

Hefty is convinced that Timid admires him and so decides to take him under his wing and teach him some self confidence. Poor Timid has no desire to be like Hefty, but of course doesn’t dare tell him. Timid takes refuge in the forest to escape his interfering “advice”, thinking he’ll get a little peace and quiet... but he soon bumps into the ogres! 

Overworked Smurfette AKA Smurfette Overdoes It!

Smurfette wears herself out by overdoing things, so to teach her the art of doing nothing, Papa Smurf enlists the help of the grand master of idleness, Lazy! But when the student surpasses the teacher and Smurfette convinces everyone to switch to “idleSmurfism”, this leads to all kinds of trouble in the village...

The Rise of Papa Smurf AKA Papa Smurf Leaves the Nest

While Papa Smurf is preparing a potion to cure his voice loss, a sparrow enters his lab and accidentally switches bodies with him.

An accident in Papa Smurf’s lab causes him to switch bodies with a sparrow.

[too-gay-for-marvel]

Always the strong one, smurfy. You got this!

Life’s been hella tiring, but what’s new? Weird how the last post I saw about you was you sucking your girlfriend’s toes…? Since when did THAT happen, Smurf?

-🥁

You just HAD to bring that back up, huh? 😪

Listen, I will do ANYTHING to make people cringe, it's a gift of mine. A blessing, even

[vanitysmurfs]

hm . might bring smurfhooves back from the dead

[sidneypoindexter]

welcome to- weirdass thoughts on brainy and gender. specifically brainy and femininity/masculinity, in the sense of natural self and performative self. with brainy as a character naturally fitting into feminine roles and tropes, but attempting to seem more masculine. essentially here’s why the concept of brainy as a trans man/transmasc nonbinary who’s still drawn to feminine stuff but feels like he can’t like it if he wants to be respected as a boy/not a girl would be REALLY FUCKING GOOD if the smurfs had assigned genders at all.

first, brainy’s original french name. brainy is unique in that his original name, if you shorten it down to one word, is a noun. specifically, a feminine noun, and one that has no masculine form. schtroumpf à lunettes- smurf with glasses. as the noun “Schtroumpf” has no feminine counterpart when it refers to the species, and the noun “Lunettes” has no masculine counterpart, this makes Brainy’s name one of the very few gender neutral French Smurf names.

second, there’s this one specific moment from the Smurfs Village app i want to bring up- one quest involves brainy wanting a pink bench in the village, because pink is his favorite color. later, when you place down the pink bench, brainy seems apprehensive and claims that blue, instead, is his favorite color. as you all probably know, in our modern society, pink is associated with girls and blue with boys. brainy saying he likes pink and wants something pink, but then changing his mind to blue when someone gives him something pink, feels in the context of the colors + gender roles like his natural instincts are to go with the feminine but he chooses masculinity instead.

third, brainy’s hobbies. particularly, brainy and textile work, something which is seen as feminine both in modern day and in medieval times. brainy knows how to embroider and knit- in papa’s flying bed, he embroiders his own quotes onto pillowcases, and in it’s a smurfy life, he’s knitted his own mittens. brainy also likes to dress up in pretty outfits, and is the most likely smurf to change his attire for events.

fourth, in Symbols of Wisdom, brainy thinks having a beard will make people respect him. he is unable to grow a beard himself, so he resorts to magic to do that. and like, i know he wants to look like papa smurf, but it still has the vibe of “if i look more Masculine people will respect me.” in the later season 6 episode smurfquest, when brainy’s magically aged along with the rest of the smurfs, he doesn’t have a beard. this is notable because several smurfs do grow beards when magically aged, so why doesn’t brainy- the one smurf who we know wants one- not have one? simple answer: he can’t grow one even when he’s older.

fifth is the one that REALLY gets me. because i know nothing about it makes trans brainy canon- smurfs are all men/masc-presenting from birth there’s no reason brainy would be any different. they’re all bald. but i also collect comic moments of smurfs being weird about their hats, so here we are...

in this bit of the pilulit comic, the pilulit say that one of the differences between their species’ boys and girls is that the girls do their hair and the boys don’t.

brainy’s like... “so, you boys never do your hair?”

one pilus is like... “uh... no? do you?”

brainy immediately gets distressed, covering the back of his head and turning away, abruptly saying “enough smurfing! time for bed!”

now we all know the smurfs are weird about what’s under their hats, but we also know they’re all bald. so brainy could just have easily said “no, i don’t,” and not have been lying. but instead he got distressed and ended the conversation immediately. he didn’t even try to shift the topic he just ended the conversation immediately.

i dont have anything else to add rn but i may someday

[schtroumpf-a-lunettes]

Rainy Days, Part 4

Here it is! Hope you enjoy!

----

So it was that he returned to the village at Mr Clumsy’s suggestion to learn about this “smurfball” game. Smurfball was… Nice. It was very fun. The other smurfs seemed to be acting more careful around him now, probably not wanting to drive him away once more. No one mentioned the ship incident. They laughed and they played and had fun and it took his mind off things. It was nice.

But from some of the looks he was getting, it was easy to tell that in their eyes, his very existence was cast in the insurmountable shadow of another.

When the games of smurfball ceased, most returned to set tasks that they had to do. Curiously, Mr Hefty and Mr Jokey appeared to have gathered outside the house that used to belong to Brainy. Miss Smurfette was there too, Mr Clumsy trailing by her side. Though he felt perhaps it would be wiser to stay away, he couldn’t help but be a little curious about what they were up to.

“We’re having a smurf over some of Brainy’s old books,” Mr Hefty explained. “I was never capable of reading them before, couldn’t bring myself to smurf past the first page or so, but now… it’s way easier. They’re not actually as bad as I thought they’d be, though they could use a little work.”

Mr Jokey nodded. “They’re not very funny, I can tell you that much. Didn’t he know scattering one’s work with a good sense of humour’s a great way to keep one’s audience captivated? His writing can be so dry!”

Miss Smurfette stepped up to the conversation now. “As for the part of his book here detailing information about flowers… Some kind of an effort was made, but it’s full of so many errors! So I humbly and most graciously took it upon myself to add in some corrections, see? With my genius contribution drawing upon my wealth of knowledge, Brainy’s so-so works become elevated to a whole new level!”

“Smurfette, Smurfette, Smurfette!” Mr Jokey began crossly, “it’s not very smurfy to just go ahead and smurf edits to the book like that! Think of all the jokes and humorous commentary I could’ve been adding into their margins– but I didn’t!”

“Oh, don’t be such a worrysmurf. I only edited this one small section due to its factual errors. I’m sure he’d thank me for it.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like you have permission to do that. I thought we agreed to keep Brainy’s books just the way they are until…” Mr Hefty trailed off suddenly and they all looked over at Rainy awkwardly.

“Umm…” Rainy simply shrugged. “I don’t mind. It’s nothing to do with me. You can go ahead and set fire to those books for all I care. But my permission doesn’t exactly mean anything either way.”

Mr Hefty shook his head. “There’s some things to be gleaned from them, no use setting them on fire… But wait, I believe I’ve smurfed up a rather smurfy idea. Instead of adding in corrections by hand, I could smurf a new edition of the book with the necessary corrections and adjustments added in. A Hefty Smurf edition. Genius!”

Miss Smurfette was still reading over the part of the book she was holding with her additions scribbled into it. “Oh, Clumsy. That reminds me. There are certain flowers that will be blooming this time of year and I want to show them to you and tell you about their actual properties. Based on what’s written in here, you’d get a completely wrongful impression!”

“Golly, sounds good, Smurfette! You always have the smurfiest things to say about the flowers, they’re already so pretty to look at but knowin’ all that stuff always puts ‘em in a whole new light…”

Mr Jokey didn’t take note of the two smurfs departing together, addressing his next words to Mr Hefty. “Naturally, I’m sure you’ll be wanting to consult with me for my expert advice when making your corrections to Brainy’s book. As I always say, two smurfs are better than one!”

“Miss Smurfette and Mr Clumsy sure spend a lot of time together…” Rainy observed out loud. Those two had walked some distance away now, out of earshot and holding hands.

“Well, obviously,” Mr Hefty said breezily with a touch of condescension as he turned to leave with Mr Jokey. “They’re together.”

“Together…?” Rainy repeated slowly, letting it sink in. “…Hoo, boy.”

--

Mr Mildrew would probably be wondering where he was, but he could afford to stay for a little while longer. Against his better judgement, he was with Mr Hefty and Mr Jokey in Mr Hefty’s house as the two smurfs bickered over making adjustments to one of Brainy’s books. After Mr Clumsy’s words from earlier, he was trying to pick out any of the endearing qualities that had been alluded to, but ultimately none seemed to be forthcoming. He found himself almost drifting off a couple of times as Mr Hefty and Mr Jokey’s verbose debating was just so boring.

“-Rainy?” Mr Hefty said sharply.

“Wha? Huh??” Rainy was startled back into awareness.

“Hefty can’t accept my superior phrasing choices and that the version he wants to go with is clearly wrong and misguided…” Mr Jokey was pushing a piece of paper towards Rainy.

“Why don’t you just admit that your prose pales dramatically in comparison to my own? I have sufficient flair that I don’t need to prop up my works with tedious jokes! The point of the text is to be informative, not funny. If the reader wants to smurf something funny they can go to other sources for that specific purpose!” Mr Hefty was pushing another piece of paper towards Rainy as he spoke, and then turned to address him directly. “I tried telling him, but oh no, he simply wouldn’t listen at all!”

“Maybe you can help settle this debate,” Mr Jokey grumbled, “And tell him that my version is better.”

“Uh…” Rainy scanned over the pages laid out before him. “I’m not much for reading, but…”

Mr Hefty and Mr Jokey waited for him to continue.

Rainy gestured to the pages, expression blank. “…This is absolutely terrible. It’s like you’re just trying to sound smart, but anyone could easily tell that neither of you have a single clue what you’re on about when they read this.”

“Well!” Mr Hefty huffed. “No need to be rude just because you’re not capable of understanding true greatness.”

“Is that so…?” Rainy grimaced and stood up. “I really don’t believe I’m the one being rude here. Sounds like you’re just putting others down just because you can’t take a little criticism. Claiming I’m not ‘capable of understanding’ and implying you’re smarter and know better than I do, I think that’s what’s rude.”

“Some smurfs just can’t smurf at the higher levels of knowledge,” Mr Jokey interjected, waving a dismissive hand. “You can go ahead and leave if our writing is really that confusing to you. We don’t mind.”

Rainy looked over the two darker blue smurfs in all their haughtiness and crossed his arms. “Hah… The two of you are always so critical of everyone else and think you know better and can do better at the things they’re good at… When you’re not even good at the things you yourselves claim to be good at. How pitiful when the overzealous critic can’t stand to be criticised himself! And furthermore-”

The door was opened and Rainy went sailing through the air outside, landing on the very outskirts of the village.

Well. Mr Hefty was indeed very strong to have cast him such a distance, that much was true.

He sat in the grass for a little while then, the sun shining down from high above, the wind rustling the leaves, plants and trees about.

“Rainy, there you are,” said a familiar voice. “Now what are you doing just sitting there like that, you strange creature? Are you staying, or are you coming back with me, or what? Well?”

Mr Mildrew came to a stop. He seemed to have been walking along with Mr Papa, and Rainy found it something of a small miracle that the two of them didn’t seem to be bickering.

Rainy remained seated. “Oh, dear… Mr Mildrew, I should have checked in with you sooner, I apologise for the trouble.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mr Mildrew intoned. “You wanted to see the village again, and here you are. I think I’ve given you more than enough time to wander around this happy-go-lucky trivial little nonsensical place. If you really are intent on staying here, then just say the word and be done with it already, I’ve already wasted enough time as it is. Regardless of whether you’re coming back or not, the floors aren’t going to scrub themselves, now are they?”

“Yes, Sir, you’re right… But… I’m afraid I still don’t know…” It seemed that for the most part, the others still weren’t going to accept him on his own terms for who he was. At least Mr Mildrew understood that he was his own, distinct individual.

Mr Papa cleared his throat nervously. “Rainy, about the essence-”

“I won’t do it!” Rainy snapped. “I won’t have anything to do with that unbecoming essence! It’s nothing to do with me! Those other smurfs have already got it! You can’t force me to do anything!”

“You’re right. I can’t force you to do anything,” Mr Papa said gently, sitting down beside him. Reluctantly, and with some accompanying complaints about ‘not being as young as he used to be’, Mr Mildrew sat down as well.

“Maybe it’s best I do go back with you, Mr Mildrew. Earlier, some of those other smurfs… they tricked me. They took me out on a ship and when I got seasick, they compared me to Brainy… Using that one coincidence to try to invalidate who I was.”

Mr Mildrew hummed thoughtfully. “It’s up to you, Aqua. Though if you ask me… In truth, I don’t think something like that was a coincidence. However!” he added this last part quickly when Rainy had turned abruptly to stare at him, “However, I need you to understand that it doesn’t need to be a coincidence for you to still be your own self, as far as I’m concerned. You probably have more in common with Brainy than you might think – for example, I have a hypothesis that the two of you would share any of the same allergies as well, and who knows what else? - but that still wouldn’t make you any less you. There’s a lot of different theories that exist on the nature of identity and the self. We still don’t really know much about how the whole essence removal business works exactly, but that’s not going to stop me theorising about its function. I wouldn’t have been nearly as okay with you staying at my residence if I didn’t find pondering the nature of this entire situation so philosophically fascinating to begin with, and for that you are fortunate.”

Mr Mildrew grabbed a nearby stick and began to draw in the dirt. “Think of it this way…” he drew a circle connected to a very simplistically-styled plant growing up out of it. “Before you, there was Brainy. Then Brainy’s ‘essence’ was removed…” he swiftly crossed out the plant, tapping at the circle beneath, “Leaving behind… Well, that’s the question, isn’t it? But what it comes down to is that you were left behind. And…”

Mr Mildrew drew another, separate plant that was also connected back to the original circle. “You became your own self. But one could argue that the starting point may have been the same, though it’s unclear how much you were tabula rasa and how much not. Maybe a lot of things about you would, or could have been the same for Brainy, were entirely within his reach, had he wished or had the circumstances been different.” He drew some more leaves on the plant, “And maybe not. Papa Smurf tells me that Brainy had no particular interest in marine life and bodies of water in the way that you do, for example. So that might be something that you’ve developed of your own accord, something that belongs to you and you alone. It’s hard to say. Nature versus nurture, you know?”

“Rainy, I want to tell you something. But I’d appreciate it if you don’t repeat it,” Mr Papa began now, a pained expression on his face.

“Um, okay… You can go ahead, Mr Papa,” Rainy said simply, unsure what to expect.

“Nat, Snappy and Slouchy… They used to be adults. They’d already grown up, once. And then, there was an accident… They got turned back into smurflings. They don’t have any of their memories of growing up, being adults… It’s all lost to them. And we don’t have any way of reversing what happened to them. None of us know how to tell them… Because how do you tell a smurfling something like that? So we decided it was best that we… didn’t.” Mr Papa was looking at the ground. “We care about them all the same, but we also miss the old them, to think of all of those memories that they no longer have…”

He could hear Mr Nat’s voice in his mind. “If I’d lost more than a hundred years of my life… I’d sure want ‘em back again, you know? I’d want to remember. Who knows what important things I might’ve forgotten about…?”

Rainy frowned. “Are you saying that’s a similar situation to mine…? Are they not identical to how they were the first time they grew up?”

“…No. It’s interesting, isn’t it? You’d think so, and yet… Now that they’re smurflings again… There’s so many things that they’re doing differently this time around, like coming up with new kinds of music they never had before, wearing different clothes…” Mr Papa trailed off.

“Huh… So in a way, they’re kinda their own smurfs too? If there was a way to turn them back into adults again… That would be kind of like erasing the versions of them that exist right now and not giving them a chance to grow up their own way.”

Mr Papa shrugged. “Maybe… Though the fact is that we don’t have a way to reverse it. The smurflings don’t have that option to begin with. So the original adult Slouchy, the original adult Snappy… The original Natural Smurf… They’re gone.”

“But I don’t think I’m really like them at all… I’m more like Mr Nav. He’s entirely his own smurf, even though his voice happens to sound just like another smurf’s. And just like him, just like anyone, I’m my own self. So that essence is nothing to do with me and I don’t have any obligations towards it.”

“The trouble with that is, Rainy… You don’t have any of Brainy’s memories, and neither does anyone else. Which means that Brainy’s gone – right now, it seems he doesn’t exist at all. The difference between you and Nav is… Nav’s existence didn’t start as a result of another smurf’s existence stopping.”

“…That’s not my fault.”

“I know it isn’t,” Mr Papa nodded. “It’s just… You’re the one who is most closely connected back to Brainy. Mildrew and I suspect that only if we were to transfer Brainy’s essence to you will his memories return.”

Rainy picked up the discarded stick Mr Mildrew had used to draw with earlier and stabbed it into the ground. “That’s hardly fair, is it? This shouldn’t be my responsibility! I just wanted… I just wanted to be me! Aren’t I allowed to live my life however I want to? Don’t I have the freedom to exist just as anyone else does?”

“Yes, you do,” Mr Papa replied. “You’re right. If you wish to stay as you are for the rest of your life… we can’t stop you.” He looked away as he finished speaking.

“Mr Papa Smurf, Sir… I’m sorry, really I am, but I don’t want that essence. Hopefully you can understand that. Besides, if I really did have more in common with Brainy… Even if I was just ‘another version’ of him… Then by that logic, maybe this is precisely what he would want too, and respecting my wishes would be respecting his in turn.”

Mr Papa shook his head. “The Brainy I know wouldn’t want to just disappear forever. But we couldn’t ask him right now to check what he’d want even if we tried.” Mr Papa sighed. “Brainy has the right to exist too. But we can’t force you to do anything.”

Rainy slowly got to his feet. “I don’t care about Brainy. Mr Mildrew, I’m ready to go back with you now.”

--

Going back to the village had been a mistake. Rainy had already had a life he was perfectly content with. He knew his place and it had been foolish to ever consider desiring more or thinking about anything else. He resumed cleaning for Mr Mildrew and Madam Misty on the daily without complaint, running errands and tending to chores.

He’d always given the other two’s magical experiments and conjurations a wide berth, so finding himself caught in the near vicinity of one of Madam Misty’s potions gone awry was troublesome indeed. It was not the first time one of the other’s magic had gone wrong and left a terrible mess in its wake that he would inevitably need to clean up after, but he’d never been so close to one of the explosions before. One moment he was walking along the hallway on his way to sweep the kitchen, the next there was a deafening bang and some sort of grey slime splattered forth from the laboratory door that Madam Misty must have neglected to close. The slime continued to ooze forth and move along the walls and- move up the walls?! As the seconds passed the movement continued and it almost seemed to be crawling about… Acting almost as if it were alive… The stuff was on him and he tried brushing it off rapidly with a single dismayed, “Oh, dear…”

He heard Madam Misty’s laughter coming from within the lab. When he looked over, there was not a single sign of the strange slime on her. She must have magicked it off herself, but she stood and watched him struggling in discomfort to remove bits of the slime from his arms and had nothing to offer but a slight snickering.

“Grab a Meadowstalk Mixture for me, will you?” she said finally. “Before this stuff starts to solidify.”

“Meadowstalk…? I’m terribly sorry, I don’t know what that might be.”

“Seriously? What use are you, even? You expect me to step through this stuff to get over to it?” she scowled. “Whatever… If you’re not even going to bother trying to read labels… Hmm… Well, I think this should do the trick instead,” she picked up a nearby beaker and held it up. “Nasty stuff, this. One splash and the excruciating torment would last until it successfully erodes your existence, leaving not a speck of you behind. Not many worse ways to go. I think this should get rid of all this awful goo stuff real fast, don’t you? I’ll let you do the honour of using this to get rid of it, Rainy, but be careful with it. Here – catch!”

Before Rainy could stop her, the beaker was flung towards him at high speed and Rainy panicked and gave a startled cry. The beaker landed in his hands precariously, the contents splashing over him and in his state of confusion it fell free of his hold and smashed to the ground in front of him, the glass of the beaker shattering into pieces on the floor around him. It was too late, the stuff had already gotten on him and he stood there for a moment, stricken.

And then Madam Misty laughed and laughed and laughed. “Water. It was water. What’s the matter, Rainy? I thought you liked water, thought it was your whole thing! Why, I didn’t mean to rain on your parade, ahaha! Ah, what fun. You’re so pathetic, Rainy. I’ll let you clean this up the old-fashioned way if you want to so bad.” She made her way out of the lab, deliberately kicking up the slime all the while and making sure to track it further through the hallway.

Madam Misty had always been a little rude to him, but any ill intent had always been easy for him to ignore. She had always just about ignored him and left him alone. Nothing so severe of this nature had ever occurred before now.

When he thought back to each and every subtle insult, the ways that she had looked down on him… Thinking back, though he had carried on as usual, it had made him feel… Bad.

He needed to get started on cleaning up this mess.

The glass was cleared up safely first, the strange slime still edging its way all about all the while. He prepared the mop and started working away, but the effort seemed to be for nought. Parts of the slime had hardened and stopped moving and the parts that had not were merely being pushed around by the mop, refusing to be soaked up, and slowly but surely climbing its way back out of the mop bucket whenever he managed to get any of it into there.

As he was moving over to a different part of the lab to see if he would have any better luck with the slime in a different section, he caught sight of a small jar sitting on one of the shelves, a prominent label displayed on it.

Meadowstalk Mixture.

He doubted that Madam Misty’s earlier mention of Meadowstalk Mixture had been intended to bait him into any sort of trap. This was surely a solution to the slow-moving slime oozing everywhere… The problem was, he didn’t know the first thing about magic or what one was expected to do with the mixture to make the slime go away… And it was far too dangerous to dare testing it. If he made a wrong move, it could result in even greater disaster. Safe and steady with the mop was the only option available to him, even if it wasn’t proving very successful. There was no way he was capable of effectively wielding some strange, magical mixture, so there was no point trying. The spellbooks lining the shelves on the lab’s walls… All that stuff was an entirely foreign realm that he was quite happy to steer clear of.

He tried mopping up the mess for another twenty minutes, but in that time the vast majority of the slime had crusted and solidified, becoming stuck hard to the floor, the walls, the benches, its movement ceasing altogether.

“Heavens above!” he heard Mr Mildrew’s irritable cry from down the hallway, announcing his return from the forest. Rainy carefully propped the mop up against the wall and left the room to see him. The wizard was stepping carefully over the bits of now-crustified slime tracked along the floor.

“Mr Mildrew, Sir-”

“What the devil is this?”

“There was an accident in the lab, Mr Mildrew, I’ve just been trying to clean up.”

“Yes, Misty told me as much, though she conveniently failed to mention details…” Mr Mildrew muttered in annoyance, then suddenly his eyes widened. “If you’ve been trying to clean it up, then why…? Gaah!”

Mr Mildrew rushed into the lab at high speed, narrowly avoiding tripping himself up on the crustified slime spread all about the floor. “My lab!” he cried in dismay. He grabbed at the mop Rainy had placed against the wall and whirled around, jabbing the handle in his direction accusingly. “And what on earth do you think you’re doing trying to clean up with this? And with soapy water, no less! Do you not know that such a thing only makes an issue of this nature worse? Did it not become immediately apparent that the mop was doing no good, you foolish creature?!”

“I’m sorry, Sir, I didn’t know… I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Meadowstalk Mixture, Rainy! Meadowstalk Mixture’s the thing! Did Misty not make any mention of it at all? She told me that you’d been informed!”

“Well, yes, but-”

“Then why?” Mr Mildrew cried loudly. “The mixture is right there, is it not? How difficult can it be to enlist its application?!”

“Madam Misty didn’t tell me how-”

“So you didn’t even try? You instead allowed this wretched slime to dry and made the problem even worse?”

Rainy stayed silent, as trying to object while Mr Mildrew was so upset would probably not be wise. He knew fully well when to remain quiet. Mr Mildrew picked up the jar of Meadowstalk Mixture, a flat expression on his face. “If you had a single ounce of resourcefulness within you, Rainy, perhaps you may have consulted the vast body of literature that surrounds you for mention of Meadowstalk Mixture and its application, such as the book conveniently just beside the jar. There is, in fact, very little that can go wrong when there is only one single thing that needed to be done here: simply sprinkle the mixture over the affected areas. I doubt even you could mess that up. If you had bothered to try it even a little, even without consulting the book first, you would have quickly discovered just how EASY it is! Instead, you have allowed it to dry, so now I must whip up an entire new potion to get rid of it!”

“It would be dangerous to-”

“Yes, yes, I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything better from you, you’ve no confidence to ever do anything at all… Truly useless. So completely devoid of initiative you are… I suppose if you were in a sinking ship and needed to jump to safety to avoid the sharks, you would focus only on the dangers of jumping and wait calmly for the sharks to devour you? Misty should have known better than this and she will be dealt with accordingly, but you can also be such a pest! Away with you, I have a potion to work on.”

--

It was the next day and he was cleaning the windows when Mr Mildrew approached.

“Mr Mildrew, how is the lab? I apologise again for-”

Mr Mildrew held up an impatient hand. “The matter has been attended to, so pay it no mind. There is only one further thing I wish to clarify. Is it true that you broke my favourite beaker?”

“Oh… Erm, I did drop it. But Madam Misty threw it to me quite suddenly, so I was unable to catch it properly…”

“I see. So it wasn’t intentional or due to your own fault. I suppose that cannot be helped. Well, that will be all.” Mr Mildrew turned to leave once more, but Rainy had now been reminded of the specific manner of events that had led to the beaker shattering.

“A-actually, Mr Mildew, if you wouldn’t mind sparing me a moment…”

Mr Mildrew turned back around. “What is it?”

“About… About Madam Misty… Well, it’s just… She is rather mean to me.”

“Misty? She can be quite the character, but you’ve never seemed to have had any problem with her before now. This is the first I’m hearing of it.”

Did he have any problem with her before now? Maybe not… But the more he thought about it, the more he realised that he’d always taken issue. But he’d simply… Pretended nothing was wrong, and it had made things seem okay, kept things going smoothly.

“It’s… I always do try my best, and it makes things difficult when she-”

“Rainy, I’m sorry, but I really don’t have time for this. I have important things to attend to. I have given you more than enough freedom. You know that you can move out if indeed you wish to do so. You can even leave and stay at the Smurf Village if you want, and I have explicitly given you that choice just recently. But this matter is trivial and I really do not care. Do not get the wrong idea - we are not here to be friends. You are guaranteed good accommodation and meals while here and in return, you have been maintaining the upkeep of this household. I was under the impression that you were perfectly aware of this arrangement and perfectly satisfied with it.”

Mr Mildrew was right. He was wrong to question and to think about more, and he had been satisfied all this time, hadn’t he? Though… “I apologise for bothering you. You’re right, normally it’s really no problem at all, it’s just that the incident with the lab… Was a little difficult to ignore.”

“It sounds like a once-off instance to me. If such a thing happens again then perhaps you can let me know, but I doubt it will repeat. Misty usually keeps to herself.”

Right, right. Mr Mildrew was right, of course. This matter was trifling and he was wrong to make a fuss about it, as it only caused needless waves in an otherwise peaceful and nice life and existence. It was true that this was the first time Madam Misty had ever been so openly harsh towards him and she likely would not do so in such an overt manner again, so there was nothing at all to worry about.

Her standard coldness towards him wasn’t that bad, was it? He had a nice life here and he’d always been quite happy with it. Her attitude – Mr Mildrew’s brusqueness – any ‘setbacks’, really, needn’t bother him at all. He had his afternoon once a week to himself at the lake and that was more than enough, more than he could ask for. More than he should ask for.

He could maintain a happy existence. He could simply take all of his negative thoughts and feelings… And bury them away deep inside, where no one could ever find them. He could scrub them all from his very being like he always scrubbed any hint of grime from the floors so that none of it could get in the way of him enjoying his life.

--

He was fine. He was content.

Breakfast was nice. He was enjoying it. His thoughts drifted once more to pondering yesterday’s exchange of words with Mr Mildrew during his window-cleaning session.

He should really focus more on improving himself instead of turning his attention outwards to others. There’s no point at all being critical of others when you have no influence over their actions. All one could really do was be critical of oneself and embark on the endless journey of self-improvement to focus on the flaws that you were capable of fixing.

Questioning Madam Misty’s behaviour towards him had been nothing but folly, and really, he was not one to be critical at all, never had been, except for whenever he made a mistake and reprimanded himself in the spirit of not repeating such mistakes again…

Why, the only instances where he’d really been critical of others had been in the case of Mr Hefty and Mr Jokey…

He frowned.

…And Miss Smurfette. She was not exempt either, but she simply hadn’t been present, hadn’t presented him with some sort of awful tripe to read like the other two had. But that was only the criticism he’d truly voiced, wasn’t it? It wasn’t counting any criticism he held towards them that he’d left unvoiced.

Those three… he held nothing but criticism and contempt for them.

He’d never dare to have the confidence to criticise Madam Misty like that. He never had and he never would, and he didn’t know quite how to feel about that. Wasn’t that a good thing, to be able to refrain from such harsh condemnation? But… wasn’t it a bad thing if he was unable to even if he wanted to?

His breakfast was finished now. Another day’s work lay ahead. Madam Misty’s shelf of trophies was first on the agenda – they needed a polish.

Too much confidence and you start to think you know everything, you start to grow complacent. That’s why it was better simply to focus on one’s own flaws - self-criticism in the spirit of self-improvement. And yet… it didn’t really feel like he was improving at all. The more attention that was turned to the faults and shortcomings of himself, the more he felt… Bad. Highlighting flaws only made it seem like he wasn’t improving at all, but instead getting worse.

Maybe too much self-criticism was bad. Was that not, itself, a… flaw? And if he was trying to minimise flaws, would it not stand to reason that he should be a little less harsh on himself?

As it was, he couldn’t find it in himself to be truly confident in anything he did, he was all-too-aware that he wasn’t very good at things at all and liable to mess up and-

Maybe polishing the trophies could wait.

--

He hadn’t been to Brainy’s house since all that time ago when his skin had still been pale, when Mr Clumsy had guided him there to show him some of what had been written in the books in an attempt to make him ‘remember’. Why he thought he might have any better chance of making any sense of the gobbledegook contained within the bound volumes now, he couldn’t say. In truth, he was sure the words would be as gibberish as ever, but he found himself making his way into the house filled with all those worthless books anyway.

It was a little dusty. The house’s original owner hadn’t lived here for a long time, after all. But the smurfs had not left anything to needlessly rot. There was evidence of some attempts at upkeep… betraying hints of the hope that the missing Brainy would come back to them someday.

He picked up a nearby book, one of the ones titled “Quotations of Brainy Smurf”. There was a smiling face on the cover, an image of a self-assured sense of superiority. His own face, except it was not truly his face, it was the face of Brainy Smurf. The arrogance, the boldness to plaster one’s own face all over these things when the contents were so devoid of merit… It was practically a demand for attention.

A quick survey of some of these works made it immediately clear that Brainy Smurf sought to write about himself wherever possible. Even in the books that weren’t filled with his quotations, but claimed to be about unrelated topics, he always sought to draw some connection to himself in a flattering and bolstering manner, no matter how tangential it came across when it came to the supposed topic at hand.

These books contained an overwhelming confidence of self-expression, a self-image and an ego that towered impossibly high above anything else, the seeming ability to write even the most barefaced lies into reality from quill being placed to paper.

It all came across as rather delusional, almost like a desperate plea to anyone who would listen to indulge in the fantasy of the so-called all-importance of Brainy Smurf. With a proclaimed greatness so immense that it would eclipse anything and everything in its path, it was a marvel that a smurf like that could ever hope to live up to the image being projected. What a crash it would be if an egoistic tower like that were ever to fall. No choice but to build it ever higher, make it stronger, reinforce it, take preventative measures against the risks of such a thing.

And for the very first time, he finally felt like he truly understood.

Oh, Brainy...

You wanted greatness. You wanted to live up to the level of genius that you always strived for. You wanted to live up to your name.

You wanted to be better. Better than everyone. You wanted it all.

And when you couldn't have that... You couldn't take it. You couldn't stand to see yourself coming up short of what you wanted. The tantalising gap between your aspirations and your reality.

If your reality couldn't measure up, you would simply change that reality to suit yourself. If you couldn't win the respect and admiration of all the other smurfs... You could simply respect and admire yourself in their place.

You couldn't face the way that falling short of your own expectations made you feel, the potential self-hatred that could be born from it. The ego of the self can be such a fragile thing. So you simply... didn't face it.

An act of self-preservation. You refused to indulge in self-loathing of any kind, as you knew such a thing would be of no ultimate benefit to you and your goals in life. Better to just be confident, it makes everything so much easier.

And besides, if not even you could like yourself... Then who would?

You needed someone in your corner, and that someone had to be you.

You took all of your doubts...

All of your insecurities...

And buried them away deep inside, where no one would ever find them.

Not even you.

(Especially not you.)

You scrubbed it all from your very essence as much as you possibly could so none of it would get in your way.

And I guess that's part of where I spawned from, huh?

The self-criticism that you neglected to nurture, but in a sense had always been there nonetheless, on some level of awareness, deeply locked away in the recesses of your mind.

Each and every time the smurfs refused to go along with the world you created for yourself, instead trying to take it apart, to topple it - criticising you, calling out your incompetence, making cutting remarks, expressing contempt… Maybe all of it had been hitting home after all. But it was all just more things that you had to ignore, more things you couldn’t allow to get in your way, more things to be dismissed and buried… It was easier and more convenient that way.

“Rainy?”

“Ah… Miss Smurfette. Mr Clumsy. Sorry, I didn’t notice…”

Miss Smurfette looked him over. “You know, it’s so strange seeing you… here. Holding one of his books. It’s hard not to… You look just like him.”

“Miss Smurfette… Why do you still carry his essence?” Rainy asked. It wasn’t asked with the same underlying judgement that would have been there before - it was a genuine question. He no longer doubted there were pertinent reasons, but he wanted to hear them directly from her.

“Huh? Well… I don’t have much choice. Papa Smurf hasn’t been able to find another solution,” came her initial reply. “But even if I could get rid of it right now… I wouldn’t, and neither would Hefty or Jokey, I’m sure. After all… In a way, it’s the last thing we have left of Brainy right now. We’re not just going to throw it away.”

“But why doesn’t it seem to bother you, not being able to be you?” Rainy pressed.

Miss Smurfette sat down beside him on the floor. “I never stopped being me.”

Mr Clumsy tripped, falling just short of colliding with the two of them directly. “Ahah, yep! Smurfette’s still Smurfette all the way through. I knew Brainy an’ I knew Smurfette before, and Smurfette right now is not Brainy at all, even with the essence she’s still just Smurfette!”

Miss Smurfette nodded. “I’m different, yet I’m still me. A little bit like another version of Smurfette perhaps… But still Smurfette all the same.”

“And it doesn’t bother you at all?”

“Not really. I don’t mind the way I am, I just mind the different treatment the other smurfs give me now. If you ask me, it’s really highlighted some spectacular double-standards that I am endeavouring to bring to everysmurf’s attention. But there’s pros and cons to the whole situation. For one thing, in some ways I’m a lot more confident now. I feel capable of so many things that I never thought about before.”

Yes, there were some things that could be said about Brainy Smurf. He tended not to hesitate when it came to his own abilities. He was self-assured and he spoke his mind and he was loathe to be needlessly pushed around. If Miss Smurfette, Mr Hefty and Mr Jokey were anything to judge by, he was the one who tended to prefer doing the pushing around, in fact.

If Miss Smurfette really had managed to keep being herself in spite of everything… If she claimed there were pros as well as cons, if she claimed that the situation brought more confidence with it… Wasn’t he at least just a little curious about what he could become, of what his own potential might be if he decided to…

He could easily go the rest of his life carrying on just as he was. There was nothing stopping him. He was himself, his own self, and that was undeniable.

But did he want to turn his back on all that had happened before, all that had come before him? What might he have been missing or missing out on, what might he be able to develop into that he couldn’t reach just as he was right now?

He could see it, now. The reflection in the water, the hint of the foreign world that could be beyond the surface… and the part he played in it all. He was not Brainy, but part of him seems to have originated from parts of himself that Brainy had refused to acknowledge, and he, too, had refused to acknowledge any connection to Brainy in turn. They’d even fallen into making some very similar mistakes, but in opposite directions in a sense. When you move away from a reflection, the reflection moves away from you in turn, drawing you both further and further apart. And yet, every move is copied all the same.

If I’m partly the things you refused to acknowledge, then no wonder I refused to acknowledge that I might have any overlap with you.

Rainy liked to think that he, unlike Brainy, would not indulge in delusional thinking. He always endeavoured to be honest not only with others, but also with himself. While it was true that he was very honest with himself about many things, the idea that he would be happy continuing as he was upkeeping Mr Mildrew’s household… That was all just a fabrication he’d been telling himself, wasn’t it?

When he hadn’t liked the circumstances he’d been faced with, he’d simply chosen to distort his view of the circumstances until they did resemble something he wanted. Is that something that might have been passed on to him from Brainy, too? How much else might he and Brainy have in common that he’d refused to consider?

In a way, Brainy was like a strange, distorted refraction of himself, and vice versa. They were so very different, and yet you could find that overlap all the same.

There was surely a history attached to this house of Brainy’s and all of the possessions within. A history that Rainy couldn’t begin to guess at, and one that he had no connection to at all. None of Brainy’s life was truly his own history, but he could choose to make it part of his history.

--

“We don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to do, Rainy, so I want to make sure once more that this is what you really want,” Mr Papa told him.

“Yes, it is.”

Mr Papa nodded. “Whenever you’re ready.”

He was ready. He was a little nervous, but he was ready all the same.

“You’ll still be you, remember,” Mr Clumsy said by his side.

“Just… a different version of me,” Rainy finished.

Mr Jokey, Mr Hefty and Miss Smurfette had already linked arms; they were just waiting for him now. All the smurfs had gathered around in anticipation. He turned to look back at Mr Clumsy once more and received a reassuring smile. He smiled back at him in turn and with that, he went over and joined the circle.

The spell was cast and everyone’s shade of blue changed. Three smurfs’ skin lightened to the standard smurf colour and the fourth’s darkened considerably, and then all four of them collectively fell about on the ground, groaning heavily.

“Ouughhhhh…” He clutched at his head. One long, unbroken line of memories all falling into place. He’d been Brainy Smurf all the way up until his ‘essence’ had been taken away, and then he’d been Rainy Smurf. And now… Well, he supposed the name “Brainy” was not a particularly apt one. But he’d been known as Brainy Smurf far, far longer than he’d been known as Rainy Smurf… He supposed he could still make the original name work, because it did have more than a hundred years of history attached to it that he remembered now, and he couldn’t just ignore that. Instead of the title being an assertion, it would simply serve to be more of… an aspiration. A mark of what he was always working towards, not what he had managed to achieve.

He’d always stood out a fair bit in the village thanks to his glasses, but now his skin was the deepest blue that anysmurf’s had ever been, and he was the only one with the different shade now. Two different essences coexisting, but from every angle he looked at it, he was no one but himself, just as it should be. A different version of himself. But entirely himself.

He was still lying on the ground groaning – Smurfette, Hefty and Jokey had already managed to get back on their feet. The smurfs crowded around him and Clumsy pulled him into a hug.

“I still remember all of it,” Hefty sighed. “I still remember everything from when I had Brainy’s essence… It was just like ‘another me’. Different. It was okay at the time, but I’m glad to be back to the me that I was before all this happened.”

Papa Smurf nodded. “That is to be expected. You retain those memories, and they don’t transfer across with the return of the essence, it seems.”

“Did the memories from before this all happened return?” Clumsy asked him just by his ear as he continued to hug him, excited.

“Clumsy…” he suddenly became aware of the fact that it had been a long, long time since he had said that name without prefacing it with a “Mr”. He smiled as he continued to speak. “…As much as I like you, you do ask the silliest questions sometimes.”

---

The End

(To be followed by a brief epilogue)

[ask-brainysmurf]

u hv rm hre. tk abt ur frnd clumsy. i wrt in shrthnd 2 giv u mor rm.

The translating function of this book is barely even working. However, I can figure out that you're asking about Clumsy, who I'll happily tell you about.

What is there to say about Clumsy Smurf?

He's an idiot. He can barely read. Most of the time he doesn't even smurf an effort to read, and just asks me to read things for him. He doesn't get metaphors and is overwhelmingly literal. He's constantly confused about everything and doesn't seem to know anything at all. He's not as stupid as Dopey Smurf, but that's really not a high smurf to reach.

He's certainly clumsy enough to live up to his name. If I wasn't very familiar with all of him, I would take a metaphor literally myself and assume he literally had two left feet, because there's no other logical explanation for how a Smurf can manage to be that clumsy. I'm fairly smurftain I end up with more bruises from Clumsy than I do injuries from the other Smurfs. He's managed to trip over thin air, which shouldn't even be possible. No matter what he's trying to smurf, he'll almost definitely mess it up and probably get somesmurf injured. Or himself injured. He has an unnatural talent for injuring himself, and the other Smurfs don't even try to protect him.

Do you know how many times I've had to lecture Handy about not letting Clumsy near sharp objects? Because even I can't keep track. One of these days Clumsy's going to trip and accidentally kill himself, and it's going to be Handy's fault for smurfing him a saw, or nails, or some other dangerous item, and when that happens I'm not going to be responsible for what I do to Handy next. Sometimes I just want to take Clumsy, stick him in a smurfy and comfortable house, and make him stay there for his own safety. Last time I did that, though, I smurfed that he died, and he smurfed that I didn't want him around anymore, and I had a mental breakdown. So I can't do that again, but I don't know how else to keep him safe.

We've been friends for a very long time. All the way back, since we were smurflings and I decided it was strategically advantageous to befriend him because I hadn't seen him spending time with the mean kids, and two heads are better than one. Needless to say, we've been inseparable since, and it's nearly impossible for me to imagine life without Clumsy by my side. We're nowhere near the Smurfs we were as children- I'm a lot smarter, now, and a lot more confident in myself. Clumsy's a lot less shy, and while the two of us were loners as children (we were sort of "the weird kids." I spent all my time reading instead of socializing, and Clumsy didn't even start talking until after we became friends), now Clumsy is friends with pretty much everysmurf in the village. But he never forgets about me, and always is eager to bring me along on whatever him and his friends are doing, much to the dismay of most of these friends. Clumsy Smurf is the smurfiest thing that's ever happened to me, and I smurf that wholeheartedly.

He's the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met. He likes me, genuinely, and he listens to me and enjoys listening to me. He stays with me because he wants to be with me, even when he doesn't have any obligations to do so. He forgives me when I smurf up- and although I may seem perfect, trust me when I say that I do occasionally smurf up. Very rarely, of course, but when I do, Clumsy understands. He actually asks me for advice, and he tries to help me whenever I need help. I'd willingly choose to have him by my side in almost any situation, despite the fact he would absolutely cause more trouble than he's worth.

He has all these little things about him that are smurfily endearing. Like his rock collection. Every time he gets a new rock, he goes to show it to me. I don't care about rocks, but I do care about Clumsy, and the smile on his face when he's showing me his rocks or talking about his collection is the smurfiest thing in existence. I've done quite a lot of research on geology in order to smurf with him in topics he enjoys. One of the people on the other side of this book once asked me for smurfs of books about geology, and every single one of those books- the ones not written by me, anyhow- was one I read for Clumsy's sake. The ones written by me- Geology For Idiots, Written By A Genius; and Brainy Smurf’s Guide To Metamorphic, Igneous, and Sedimentary Rocks- were respectively a book I wrote as a gift to Clumsy, and a book I wrote in order to catalogue my thoughts on rocks and help him sort the ones that he'd smurfed. Clumsy sings a lot, too, and he has the smurfiest voice. Even when he's just talking, he has the smurfiest voice. He says my name so smurfily I can barely believe he's talking about me.

I've never been able to tell him that I love him. It's been decades now and I still can't manage it. I think he knows. He tells me he loves me, so I certainly know his feelings. We're so close that even I'm not sure whether our relationship is platonic or not, and I know everything, so of course me not knowing something is a big deal. It's fine. We're best friends, and we've never needed to be anything more or less. It does get confusing, because he did dᵃᵗᵉ ᔆᵐᵘʳᶠᵉᵗᵗᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃ ʷʰⁱˡᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵇʳᵒᵏᵉ ᵘᵖ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ˢʰᵉ

((Tʜᴇ ᴘᴀɢᴇ ᴀʙʀᴜᴘᴛʟʏ ᴇɴᴅs ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ. Iᴛ sᴇᴇᴍs ᴛʜᴀᴛ Bʀᴀɪɴʏ ʜᴀᴅ sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ʀᴀɴ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ʀᴏᴏᴍ- ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴇᴀsɪʟʏ ʙʏ ʜᴏᴡ sᴍᴀʟʟ ᴀɴᴅ sᴏ̨ᴜɪsʜᴇᴅ ʜɪs ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀs ɢᴇᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ.))

[zanysmurf]

rabies is canon to smurfs 2021. that's a first i think. i'm learning

[bourbon-ontherocks]

The Smurf Survey

I was tagged by @jade-marie @whiskeyjack and @00gangfriend00 who apparently want to know all about my smurf preferences!

which do you prefer: reading smurf or writing it?

Reading it. Except mine, obviously, lol. Writing smurfy content is just SO hard and I don’t feel like I’m particularly good at it so I’ll enjoy it by other people, thank you very much.

what’s a smurf turnoff for you? like when you’re reading it, it immediately brings you out of the smurf zone?

Basically anything involving the word “daddy”. Cringey/ridiculous dirty talk. Romanticized abuse, bonus point if it’s blatantly 50 shades-esque. (I have no problem with abuses as long as they’re written as such but that’s another debate lol)

what’s a kink you haven’t written that you wanna try writing?

Um, no idea? I’m kinda out of the writing zone right now so I don’t really have plans lol!

Also I don’t really see sex scenes as a purpose in themselves so I don’t really plan on “trying” this or that. That being said, in a Brio context I’d probably like to write some choking/breathplay one day.

when’s the last time smurf made you blush

Never. Not to sound like a total cliché about French people, but I come from a culture that’s way more chill with sexuality than Anglo-Saxon’s in general. Also English is not my first language so I have some sort of emotional distance with it. I don’t know how to explain it better, but yeah, I wouldn’t bat an eye at the most perverted kink if it’s written in English hahaha!

what’s your favorite and least favorite sexual act to write?

Favourite: Kissing. Obviously. And also the build-up leading to the actual sex if that counts, like the fluttering minute right before characters just jump at each other.

Least favourite: Actual sex.

have you ever written smurf that echoed an IRL sexual experience?

Nope. Who do you think I am, a repressed housewife with a crime fantasy???

has smurf ever made you wanna try something that you read?

God, no.

~*~BONUS RAPID FIRE ROUND!!!!! bold your FAV! (or add an answer.. 😏 )

cock | dick | lunchbox

pussy | cunt | slit

boob | tits | breasts

butt | ass | cheeks 

Again, not a native, so my personal relationship with all those words is probably very different than natives’.

~*~*~*BONUS BONUS QUESTION:

quick!!! type out the first dirty talk that comes to mind!! do it!! do it!!

No.

I’m very very late to the party and don’t know who did it already but I’ll tag @joeyjoeylee @fondful @nottonyharrison @lemoncupcake and @sdktrs12 if you’re still in the market for this game!

[incorrect-smurfs-quotes]

Brainy Smurf: Hold it! Hold it right there! Let's see if you're really ready to watch an episode of The Smurfs! (a Smurfs watchers checklist appears with smurfy magic) Popcorn?

Clumsy Smurf: (brings out a big bowl of popcorn) Uh, check, Braineh!

Brainy Smurf: Soft drink?

Clumsy Smurf: (brings out a big soft drink) Uh, check! An' it's smurfberry-flavored, too!

Brainy Smurf: Smurfs Ball Cap?

Clumsy Smurf: A ball cap?! Gosh! Uh, I don't have one!

Brainy Smurf: A-ha! You can't watch an episode of The Smurfs without a Smurfs Ball Cap!

Smurfette: (enters, along with Hefty) Listen, Brainy. What if we smurfed a Smurfs Ball Cap, so we'll have it next time?

Hefty Smurf: She's right, you know!

Brainy Smurf: Well...

Smurfette: (to camera) It's all in the pamphlet... Just smurf for this!

(A Smurfs catalog appears with smurfy magic and lands in Smurfette's hand)

Smurfette: A free Smurfs catalog! Use it to smurf your Smurfs Ball Cap... (We see Hefty wearing a Smurfs Ball Cap)

Hefty Smurf: Like what I have on my head!

Smurfette: And while you're at it, you can smurf stuff, like t-shirts,... (Jokey is wearing a Smurfs t-shirt) ...posters,... (Painter is painting a poster) ...videos... (Handy is holding a video tape), ties... (Clumsy is wearing rope over his body)

Clumsy Smurf: Uh, I'm wearing one!

Brainy Smurf: She means neckties, you loon.

Clumsy Smurf: Oh... That explains why I can't move mah body... Whoa! (lands on his stomach) Oof! (The smurfy magic changes the rope to a necktie. Clumsy gets up on his feet and notices the necktie) Golly!

Smurfette: It's all in the catalog! Which you can get free by dialing 1-SMURF-1958! (Phone number appears with smurfy magic) So when you smurf a chance, call...

Brainy Smurf: (interrupts, walks over to Smurfette) No! No! They have to call now! They can't watch a Smurfs episode, until they smurf their free catal- (A soft drink is thrown by someone off-screen, landing on top of Brainy's head) PAPA SMUUUURF!!! (runs away)

(Smurfette turns to the camera smugly. Fade to a background of the Smurf Village, with the "1-SMURF-1958" number superimposed.)

Smurfette: (off-screen) Don't forget to call! And have a Smurfy day!

[ireallylovepupplies101stuff]

More of the ship baby OCs!

Twinkle Diamond Smoll. Middle child of Guy Diamond and Vanity.

After Guy Diamond and Vanity got together and Vanity became Tiny's new Papa, they soon gave the little Hip hop troll a younger half sister and named her Twinkle, due to her Glitter troll freckles on her smurfy blue skin looking like a sky full of twinkling stars.

She's, a bit of a diva. Very spoiled by both her dads and her big brother, if Twinkle looses her favorite compact mirror the world seems like it's ending until she finds it.

She's a very kind person though, big on body positivity, and using her style skills to help bring out everyone's natural beauty and make them proud to be who they are.

Ursa Diamond Smoll. Youngest daughter of Guy Diamond and Vanity Smurf.

Ursa isn't really big on fashion, beauty, and make-up. It's cool if her family does it, but she sees it as a little time consuming when they can get stuff done faster. Guy and/or Vanity having to make her sit to at least brush her hair out a little, other then that she's free to do or wear anything she wants, like her favorite sweater.

She enjoys nature, and how all the natural plant life and dirt can do amazing things to help out the other living beings around it. She enjoys making all natural skincare and spa treatments with what she finds in the woods around her.

Coco smoll. Oldest Daughter of Cinnamon and Timid (Actor) Smurf

Cinnamon is Priestessofnox's OC you can read about in her fic Lean On Me. While chatting about ships we ended up pairing him up with Timid Smurf, and later made them kids. (Disclaimer, none of this is part of Lean On Me so none of this information is canon to the fic or spoilers)

Coco is a sweet little smoll who loves her dads dearly, she's also very softly spoken and saves her singing voice when she helps her Papa on stage for plays they put on for both Trollvillage and Smurfvillage. Her favorite thing though is visiting chillier areas and trying out the warm drinks they have to offer there.

Her speciality is making drinks that warm the body and soul to keep the smurfs warm in the winter, and the trolls warm during their one day a year they get snow.

Pumpkin Spice Smoll. Youngest son of Cinnamon and Timid (Actor) Smurf.

Pumpkin is a quiet but happy little boy, singing softly as he helps his dad collect herbs and work on remedies with him. When he's not doing that though he's rather fond of seasonal treats.

Something about those amazing treats you only get for a short amount of time yearly just makes Pumpkin so happy and excited to cook up something for everyone to enjoy. Working with his older sister to make seasonal drinks or hanging out with Baker or Greedy Smurf to cook up something special.

And that's all for this post, more to come later though. Enjoy!!!

[butterfrogmantis]

I drew sum blue jellybeans :3

Well, firstly, we actually have smurfsonas. One of my best friend’ originally drew those, but I added them to the digital c: Smurfs are named for their special talent (uh, I guess not the lost village) so we each chose those XD Naturally I was shipping smurf owo s Now speaking of shipping - onto the ships Gutsy x Brainy - Whilst the cartoon series would more or less show a strong connection between Brainy and Clumsy, I started off by watching the L.A and 'The Legend Of Smurfy Hollow' - so I'm afraid Gutsy had the limelight XD And referring to the bold text above - bringing him into a mash up of canon makes it ship safe :3 I also can't deny this ship gives me STRONG Twezz vibes - spunky Scottish character and overbearing brainy scout boy? Good stuff man .. good stuff Vanity x Grouchy: One we both like LD Especially interactions in L.A 2  'I bet my glutes look great climbing up this rope - Grouchy take a look!'  'I hate my life' - classic  Also what more could you want out of 'opposites attract' that narcissism and pessimism? Hi-larious! Also in 'Christmas carol' Vanity pulls the FLIRTIEST face when he pulls him into dance XD And Grouchy holding Vanity's hat is my Instagram icon XD Smurfette x Hefty: I mean that's obvious  I have to admit lost village sold me on this one more than the original cartoon - Hefty wasn't a character I liked as much in LA but the LV totally sold him as a strong, kind, good hearted leader - who had a very obvious crush  I mean super obvious - it's sooooooo freaking cute! Smurfstorm x Clumsy: I felt a bit bad for snatching Brainy from Clumsy till I saw lost village XD This, however, vanished all of that. Bumbling but trying his best x strong independent bish is a trope I will forever love too. Plus the flying scene kinda sold it. Honestly characters who act all tough then melt around their inept partners is just cute. Storm: Touch him and I cut u  Painter x Poet: Another one we both like c: especially from the episode 'Painter and Poet' - the two creative smurfs who think no one appreciates their 'masterpieces' - well what's the fun in being creative on your own when you can be twice as creative together right  Also who could resist dat accent, hon hon oui  Marina x Handy: The most canon one here  Handy's sweetheart is a totally adorable episode!! And uh, you know I love mermaids so win win  It's kinda bittersweet too tho cause she had to leave   Papa x Willow: This one was more than obvious  who doesn't love some elderly companionship  And of course, leader solidarity - they gotta look after each other c:  Smurfblossom x Vexy: Crackship!!  I liked this cause Blossom has that happy go lucky attitude, whilst Vexy very much has her self doubts about being a creation of Gargamel. I like to think it's it would be uplifting for her to have such a positive influencer   Smurfs (c) Peyo