#bro who wrote this not me

[maccahazza]

CLUB RENDEZVOUS

70s Tim and Hawk

Jealous Hawk and Tim?

Hawk’s eyes haven’t left Tim’s sight. It’s naive to think an attractive man like his Tim wouldn’t be hit on tonight. It’s still shocking to him how Tim has changed. It’s been 11 years since he’s seen him and he looks like a completely different person.

The first moment he saw Tim in the house, he knew he was fucked. The way his flannel clung to his body, outlining the toned muscles on his arms and torso, he must’ve grown all that muscle during his time in prison. That mustache — Hawk hated mustaches — but Tim, he made them look… sexy. Tim also looked less pale, had a slight tan, which only made Hawk picture himself running his tongue along the skin of his legs, torso, neck, and arms.

“Let’s dance,” Craig says, trying to grab his arm to pull him onto the dance floor. “I wanna dance!”

“I’m staying right here,” Hawk says sternly. He needs to keep an eye out for Tim who’s having a blast dancing against every man out there. “You go.”

Craig rolls his eyes, annoyed at the fact that Hawke couldn’t let his ex-lover go. “He doesn’t want you anymore,” he spitefully adds before turning around to join everyone else on the floor.

If that were the case he wouldn’t be here right now, Hawk smugly thinks to himself. No matter how many times he unintentionally hurt or betrayed Tim, he knew the younger man would always come back for more. That’s the way it always was between them.

Hawk’s smug smirk quickly disappears when he sees Tim locking lips with some jackass. He sees the man’s hands crawling down to Tim’s ass, gripping him tightly. Bastard probably made him moan, he thinks. Only I— He cuts himself off when he watches how Tim pulls the man closer, kissing him more ravishingly, as if there were no fucking tomorrow.

Hawk stands up from the chair, his gaze dark and intense, and walks up to Tim and the man.

“Sorry, he’s with me,” Hawk says, his eyes burning into the man who was touching Tim. “I suggest you find someone else.”

“No—” Tim says. “I’m not with him.” He tries to pull the man back into his arms but Hawk interferes and pulls Tim to him instead.

“Why are you being like this, Skippy?” Hawkins asks in that low, seductive voice that happens to mesmerize Tim at any second.

“Aren’t you with Craig?” Tim says weakly, already feeling himself crumble under Hawk’s touch. No matter how many times he tries to resist, he can’t. “He said… that you told him he’s the best you’ve had.”

Hawk laughs. “I say that to every fuck I’ve had.”

“Even me?” Tim asks, his voice sounding hurt. Hawkins could see it all over his face.

“Of course not, Tim.”

Hawk sees Tim turn his head to meet Craig’s gaze. Tim is staring at him, as if he wants to murder him, and Craig isn’t helping by shooting smirks towards him.

“Don’t pay attention to him.”

“I’m not,” Tim says with a scoff. “I couldn’t care less about him. I know how much you prefer brunettes, anyway.”

Hawk laughs because it’s true. “That’s why I fell in—” He stops himself after he realizes what he was about to say. “Let’s get away from here.”

“I was really enjoying my company before you told him to go away,” Tim retorts. “Maybe I should just go home with him instead.”

Hawk clenches his jaw, immediately recalling that time when Tim confessed he kissed a man, saying how that man wanted him. He remembers how much he wanted to go find the man who kissed Tim and choke him, throw him in a headlock for touching what was his.

“No.”

“No, what?” Tim challenges.

“No, you’re not going home with anyone else but me.”

Tim smiles because he knows he’s gained some control over Hawk. “Why is that?”

Hawk leans into Tim’s ear and whispers, “because you. are. mine.”

Tim closes his eyes and shudders at Hawk’s voice, at his breath blowing against his ear. “I’m yours?”

“Mhm. You’re learning. Again.”

Tim leans his head into the nape of Hawk’s neck. “Need you,” he confesses, sounding like a helpless, needy man without an ounce of dignity in him.

Hawk grins and starts looking around for an empty room, because he can’t wait either. He needs Tim right now. He looks around and sees the janitors closet. He grabs Tim’s hand and rushes them into the closet.

When he closes the door, he turns to Tim, rage rushing over him again. “You really think you can let another man kiss you? Touch you?” Hawk says through his gritted teeth, staring at Tim with anger.

Before Tim can say a damn word, Hawk puts his lips on Tim’s. He moves hastily, needing to feel Tim’s soft lips and tongue against his own. “Fuck,” he mutters needily against Tim’s mouth, remembering how good the younger felt, how sweet he tasted.

“I missed you, Skippy.” Hawk didn’t mean to get vulnerable but he can’t help it. It’s been over a year since he’s touched and spoken to Tim. That’s too long. “Fucking missed you.”

Tim’s smiling, loving every second of Hawk’s worship. “Missed you,” he mumbles, too tipsy and euphoric to say a coherent sentence.

“Turn around, Skippy,” Hawk commands.

Tim obeys. What’s new?

Hawk licks his hands and lubricates the Tim’s entrance and his cock. He leans onto Tim’s back and before thrusting into him, he asks huskily, “Who do you belong to?”

Tim whimpers instantly from the question and the anticipation of being fucked by a man he’s loved forever. “You,” he answers.

Hawk finally thrusts into Tim, relishing the sound of the younger’s moans. How I missed that sound. “Who do you belong to?” Hawk asks again, not satisfied just yet.

“You!” Tim screams as he holds onto the wall, shutting his eyes as he feels Hawk’s cock move against his prostate, reeling him into a pit of pure ecstasy.

“That’s right,” Hawk replies, thrusting faster. He starts spanking him, enjoying how Tim’s ass turned more red with each hit, and how his ass displayed his handprint. There’s no better way to teach Tim who he belongs to. “You belong to me. Hawkins Fuller… Say it! Say it with my name, Tim!”

“I…” Tim moans. “I belong to Hawkins fuller!”

Hawk groans loudly, thrusting harder into Tim, digging his nails into the younger’s skin as he feels his climax coming.

He leans onto Tim’s back and reaches for his cock, hearing the younger moan in pleasure as he starts to jack him off, pumping his cock in his hand.

“Mmm… Fuck! Hawk, please!”

“Please, what?” Hawk asks.

“Make me come, please,” he whimpers.

Hawk starts to pump Tim’s cock faster the same time his climax is coming, making him moan helplessly against Tim’s ear as he releases the built up tension inside of him.

“Turn around,” he orders Tim, as he pulls out of him, quickly getting on his knees. “I’m gonna finish you off.”

Tim raises his brows in surprise. Hawk was never one to really pleasure others, more keen on receiving.

Hawk wastes no time and puts Tim’s cock in his mouth, his tongue and lips sliding against the hardness, tasting him — God, he tastes so good, he thinks, groaning. He moves faster against his cock, grabbing Tim’s ass, squeezing it hard, which causes Tim to yank roughly on his hair, meaning he wants more.

“I’m—!” Tim groans, leaning his head back as his body loses control and comes into Hawk’s mouth, trembling as he fails to keep himself on his two feet. “Fuck!”

And Hawk swallows all of it.

Hawk stands up and puts his arms around Tim to help him find his balance. “You’re incredible, Skippy,” he says with a grin. “There’s no one that does it to me the way you do.”

And Hawk truly means that. Every single feeling is multiplied by the millions when he’s kissing and making love to Tim.

No one compares.

No one.

Not even Craig.

“I…” Tim is flushed. The redness growing on his face is so obvious it makes Hawk chuckle. “Thank you, Hawk.”

“Let’s go home. Go to bed. I’m fucking tired.”

Tim giggles then nods. “Ok.”

[trips2saturn]

telling my future kids that they were romeo and juliet

[inkskinned]

not to romanticize my mental issues but sometimes having adhd is very useful because today during a meeting that could have been an email i kept thinking about crabs wearing small tophats and having little dancing parties and how they'd sound in tap shoes.

and when my boss was like "raquel what do you think?"

i was like "well, i think the others have made good points about this, of course, and i'd be happy to circle around later on it, but i'd love to take a moment and resonate with this before offering my own suggestion. i want to hear what others think before anticipating the client's needs."

and then i went back to not listening but this time it was imagining snails that joust.

[jadewritesficshere]

Painting

Modern!Eddie Munson x Female!Reader

Contains: nudes, mutual masturbation, phone sex

18+ only

Eddie flopped face down onto his mattress with a sigh. After working all day, playing at the Hideout, and then hauling all of the bands' equipment, he was wiped. He wanted nothing more then to smoke and go to sleep. His phone pinged with a notification. A contact under the name "Loser" had messaged him, causing a split second of confusion before a lazy grin spread across his face when he realized it was you (he had forgotten he changed it when high). You had been unable to come see Corroded Coffin play tonight as you had made previous plans.

Loser: How did it go?? Good?? Bad??

Loser: Was that one chick who wants to be a groupie there??

Eddie: went ok. Y u jealous?

Loser: just curious lol

Eddie: sure. Wbu?

Loser: Good! Robin and Nancy came. We had a nice dinner. We did paintings! Robin's looks better then mine. Mine looks like shit 😔 now just taking a bath and relaxing.

Eddie: show me?

Loser: lol no???

Eddie: y not? I'm sure it good

Loser: you sure?

Eddie: yes

Loser: fine

Eddie doubted your painting looked bad. You always tore yourself down, even when you did amazing things. He always wanted to throttle you, but knew he would be a hypocrite if he did. Eddie rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling. He would convince you one day that you were awesome, but until then he would just have to keep reminding you. His phone dinged with a new message from you. He opened it and saw a picture attached and-

Immediately dropped his phone. His heart picked up speed. His eyes widened and face flushed. Eddie dove for the phone as if it were a life preserver and he was drowning. He couldn't believe his eyes. He licked his lips and stared at his phone.

A picture from your neck down. Bubbles in the bath around you. Water was running down your collarbone towards your tits. Your nipples barely covered by the bubbles. One boob having no bubbles around it at all, but your hand flipping him off blocked him from seeing more. He was greedy. He wanted to see more, and had never imagined you would send him this to begin with. Eddie looked down at the tent that had formed in his boxers.

Loser: ask nicely next time 😤

Eddie groaned and his dick twitched. You had totally misunderstood him, he had wanted to see your painting- of course he was more then glad for this outcome. However, he couldn't quite unsee what you had sent, nor would he want to. Eddie reread your text. Next time means more than just this once. Means maybe he could see more. Means maybe he has a better shot with you then he thought. He already overthought things with you many times, and now his brain had just switched to overdrive.

A million thoughts ran through his head as his hand traveled south. He paused briefly," Oh fuck it." He grabbed his dick over his boxers, causing the outline to be very noticeable. He took a pic before sending it to you. He would have felt bad about not sending a message with it, but he would have sat there for ages trying to think of a response. And he couldn't find it in himself to care as he pressed lightly against his dick.

He dropped his phone on his stomach. All Eddie could think about was you as he pulled his dick out of his boxers. Your soap covered tits. How beautiful they looked.. He licked his hand before slowly grasping his dick and squeezing the base, causing the tip to flush more. The pressure causing him to moan. He slowly stroked up and down his length. He picked up the pace, canting his hips up to meet his hand. Part of him wanted to go slow, but the rest of him wanted to get this over with quick so he could do it again and again and again. His chest heaved and sweat started to form on his brow. A sigh fell from his lips that quickly turned to a moan at the thought of it being your hand wrapped around him. How small your hand would look on his dick. How-

His stomach tensed and he jolted as his phone started vibrating and your ringtone played. The vibrations on his lower stomach felt so good, he was tempted to let it keep playing, but the urge to hear your voice was stronger. With his free hand he grabbed the phone and answered. "H-hello?" Eddie asked, panting into the phone. "Oh fuck, Eddie," your voice higher than normal sounded like music to his ears. Eddie moaned and your response was a whimper. "Fuck babe, see what you do to me?" Eddie's voice felt like sandpaper, he was surprised he could even find words. "Uh-huh." The sound of water splashing caught Eddie's attention," holy shit. Are you touching yourself?" "Wish it were you."

Eddie's mind went fuzzy as he picked up speed. The schlick noise picking up, his mind filtering out everything except your moans. "Sound so good. Wish I was there." Eddie mumbled, feeling his tip leaking generously. He was so close. "Fuuuck Eddie I'm gonna-" your sentence was cut off with a moan and he lost it. His hips bucked without rhythm and cum spurted everywhere. He never understood the phrase of people seeing stars behind their eyes until now, but they were more like fireworks. He had never cum this much in his life, not even when he had first found porn.

He slowly came back down, a euphoric feeling enveloping him. A warmth spread in his chest as it heaved, trying to catch a breath. He looked down and saw his shirt covered with his release. Your chuckle pulled him back to earth. "Uh so that happened...so whatcha gonna do about it Munson?" He hummed," Think i should ask you for a date." "You should."

Eddie had the biggest grin when you finally got off the phone, date planned for Friday night. He looked down at your contact name before changing the s to a v. He was going to find that painting you did and make sure it hung over his bed, so he could remember this night forever.

[miscreantahead]

If Sasha came back from Rome than she would immediately be adopted into the 18 months crowd despite not having been there for the 18 months, no questions asked by anyone, everyone there fucking adores her, we are talking about zolf's bestie, barnes's 'i really wanted you to like me but oops i arrested your friend', Wilde's pun buddy, and Carter's BAR LADY it's a CRIME it's a CRIME this is CRIMINAL WE DESERVE THIS

[littlemisstrashcan]

just me ranting about renheng/yingxue

everything about them is just romantically tragic. now, most media almost always just show mortal/immortal pair when they both look young so something about the fact that dan feng loving yingxing until he's old is so intimate to me. like, imagine someone truly loving you that they genuinely finds you so beautiful even in old age.

also they fact that they definitely knew what they were getting into? like this love CANNOT last forever because one is set to be reincarnated and the other will die but they still fall in love with each other and would sacrifice the world for their love.

dan feng committing the highest level of crime possible knowing he will be condemned, punished and doomed his people just for yingxing to live because he physically cannot live without him.

knowing that they essentially loved each other so much the rest of the world could go fuck themselves, and that it should have been enough. But it wasn't. and they try to buy more time but now everything's ruined and their current selves can't remember what they had. the beautiful love that they lived through and 'died' for is gone with only their punishment to remind them and tell them that their love is the source of some people's suffering.

[istadris]

Got another idea.

Pretty sure King Boo didn't even acknowledge the prisoners being lowered down to the lava pit during the wedding in the movie but what if he did? What if he had acknowledged Luigi whilst trapped in his cage and stuck around to see him survive when being so close to death and took an interest in him at that point? This would make their interaction in the first LM game a lot different.

King Boo didn't care for weddings.

Celebrations for mortal milestones felt ridiculous at best and offensive at worst for ghosts. Why would weddings, birthdays, coming of age, graduations matter when death and eternity inevitably came? Time claimed all in the end. To highlight its passage felt almost insulting. The only way ghosts found interest in such frivolity was by either repeating such events indefinitely in their loops of obsession, or by halting them forever, tricking time itself.

King Boo was of the latter category, when he deigned to bother with such nonsense. His collection of painting held many mortals stuck forever in their most terrifying or joyful moments. Works of art, all of them.

But the actual events...Umph. Not to mention the bright and joyful emotions displayed at such celebrations tasted mushy and soppy. Give him a good, crisp fright anytime.

Yet despite his distaste for them, he had bothered to show up to the Koopa King's wedding.

Firstly because Bowser, as loud and boisterous as he was, was still an useful ally, at least enough to stay on his good side.

Secondly because despite what Bowser claimed, it was obvious to all that his future bride hated his guts. A welcome change from the syrupy sentiments usually dripped from marriages.

Thirdly, and most importantly, because Koopas had the finest wedding tradition for their warriors : a ritual sacrifice of their prisonners of war. And of course, as their king, Bowser spared no expenses.

Dozens of captives to be slowly lowered in lava to be burned alive. All of them helplessly watching their doom unfold. Different heights for the cages so they could watch their companions of misfortune die one by one before their turn came.

The cocktail of abject terror and despair oozing from the sacrifice tasted perfect.

And on top of that, there were different toppings! Penguins, Kongs, Yoshis, even Koopas! With a Luma without a care about their death to spice it up!

And even a human! Now that was one unexpected surprise! King Boo had been dead for a long time and yet had not met many humans in all of his afterlife. But now Bowser was marrying one, while murdering in front of her the only members of her species she would probably ever meet!

Truly, Bowser was a Koopa of taste.

So now King Boo observed with attention as the cages were lowered, not caring in the slightest for whatever nonsensical vows would be exchanged. His attention was all on the captives. Which ones would scream the loudest? Which ones would go insane before death claimed them? Which ones would see their souls turn into Boos?

...Could humans turn into Boos? Oooh, that was an interesting question! Would it be stronger? Weaker? Would its sould fuse with another species before creating a Boo?

Now King Boo was truly captivated. To the point of ignoring completely the princess' little meltdown and ensuing brawl: when a Koopa spear traversed him, he only shrugged and floated away. If Bowser couldn't bring to heel his new bride, that was his business.

Instead he leisurely flew closer to the cages, noting with pleasure the human's was the lowest of all. He would be the first to die, followed closely by the Kong King. Oh, it made his teeth grow sharper from hunger. Just a little lower...

The cages stopped and King Boo scowled. Bowser couldn't have changed his mind, could he? Thankfully, it seemed the Koopa wasn't this weak; instead, the princess had frozen the pulley of the cages in a desperate attempt at saving their lives.

Cute. But it wouldn't be enough, King Boo noted with a nasty smile as he turned invisible and slipped through the cracks of the ice, slowly breaking it apart. Not all at once, so he could enjoy the panic off the princess when she noticed.

Uncaring of King Bob-omb exploding, King Boo watched in delight the cages lowering once again. Oh, the human's fear was the strongest, the loudest, and yet he was fighting the hardest, struggling in every way possible to delay the inevitable, even as the bottom of his cage melted away, then the lower bars, then the middle ones...

His terror tasted so good, so raw, so pure. King Boo, eyes darkening, tongue lolling out, saliva dripping between his fangs, only wished he had a frame to capture this moment, bottling the abject horror of the human and stretching it for eternity.

So close, so close...

And then the cages stopped.

And rose up.

And the human managed to get out of his cage and- and even start to climb up!

Was he denied?? Was he deprived of his food ?! Right when he was on the verge of bliss? He glowered at the Kong pulling on the lever, teeth grinding, ready to grab him and throw him in the lava.

But before he could make a move, a scream made him turn, along with a brief zest of hope crushed by complete panic.

He had slipped! That fool had slipped! Glee filled him as he watched the human plummet to his doom, screaming the whole way down. At least one of the prisonners would die, and it would be a pure flavour of a soul, untouched by any other. He was about to see a new kind of Boo! He would..

What happened next too him a moment to register. Something flew so fast by him he didn't have time to react, and it collided with the human. No, it snatched him! And took him away!

It stole his food! His delicacy! His Boo-to-be! How dare he! Furious, he followed after this -this thief!

Which turned out to be...another human? Wait, how many of them were they?! But it didn't matter, since now his delicious morsel of fright had turned into a mushy paste of hope and love and fuzzy feelings.

Urgh. Disgusting.

Such a waste.

He was tempted to rush the group and tear through the slush of happiness just out of spite. Better a spoiled meal than none. But looking around, it seemed that he had underestimated the princess and her allies. Bowser was frozen in ice, his troops knocked out or scattered, the wedding alley ruined.

And if he didn't fear mortal attacks or power-ups, disposing of them would be too much a hassle. At least that was his excuse to get away when Bowser launched the Bomber Bill, then as he watched from afar while the entire castle was sucked into the Warp Pipe.

Too bad.

Really, really too bad.

Such a fine buffet, all ruined, all spoiled.

He would need to find the other human again. Make sure to teach him the consequences of angering King Boo.

As for the green one...

His fear tasted so fine.

But maybe the other one would taste even better?

Or both together?

He would need to try.

[bywandandsword]

The amount of nonbinary people I've encountered that in some way relate their gender to deer is not insignificant, and I wonder why that is. Everyone always talks about nonbinary people and frogs but i think there's something here with the deer

[silentauthor96]

Me *showing up to a party 20 years late with iced lemonade, ready to start fights*: ok so we all agree Jamie is clearly the villain in The Last Five Years, right?

[candelasobscura]

i dont understand why ppl feel the need to voice their dislike for a ship right to someones face?? like i sent the little dorym thing i wrote last night (read it here) to a different ship server (not dorym) and someone replied negatively to it which was a huge fuckin blow. now theres a rule in said server where you have to spoil mentions of other ships in the live discussion chat.

this just feels VERY intense for me sending a little thing i wrote.

[sevenminiaturemonkeys]

a little cos modern high school/human au that popped into my head at 2am this morning

comic thingy?:

[daydadahlias]

in terms of the most embarassing things that have happened to me lately, the fact that someone had to Remind me i wrote a 40k novella last month because i completely forgot about it is up there for sure.

[notetaeker]

my girl rlly asked me to write her a recommendation letter the day before its due i asked her for her personal statement so I could write it in a more personal way and homegirl sent me a statement that said 'i have no passion for anything but college is my opportunity to be passionate' 😭😭💀

[kirbyskisses]

i don’t read heavy monsterfucker or super dark content fics but the tags and titles they have on ao3? wild.

if you ever need to laugh just scroll like 2 pages.

[chloecherrysip]

I'm sorry, I really thought I could be a normal person about this, but literally every time I remember that the mario movie went out of its way to have Bowser say such a foreboding line as "we'll see how tough this Mario is when he watches me kill his brother!" and then simply REFUSED TO PAY THAT OFF when it really could have been a surprising and scary gut punch late in the movie to see Bowser attempt something there, even briefly, I become a little more deranged.

[musashi]

Lol

literally not my fault!!!!!!

What is it with people who abandon me and acting like it's my fault they're bitter insecure losers