#brooke is so used to being in chloe's shadow and chloe is so used to always having brooke beside her until they have a moment of separation

[lohstandfound]

maybe its just me who sees them this way, but i love how like intertwined the popular kids are with each other. you can't isolate one relationship without acknowledging how the others fit into the picture

jake and chloe, chloe and brooke, brooke and rich, rich and jake, jake and brooke, rich and chloe

they hate each other at times, downright loathe, despise but god forbid someone else express how much they detest one of them

and then post fire, post play, post show

everything changes and they're even more messy than before

but somehow it's better because at least they're being honest to themselves about who they are and how they feel

no one is putting up a front (and no one is being controlled by a supercomputer)

they will never be perfect, they never were, but this may be the best they ever get

[thepartysdone]

dare i say the bmc boys and girls are quite very much counterparts of each other

michael = christine (appear to be unapologetically weird but are shown to be insecure and lonely at some point in the musical)

jeremy = brooke (always number 2 and hidden in the shadow of their best friend)

jake = jenna (do things that involve other people for social validation and to ignore their own feelings)

rich = chloe (use anger and arrogance to hide how insecure they are)

and if you can appreciate the flaws of the boys but completely villainize those flaws in the girls/like something about the boys but COMPLETELY dismiss those in the girls then i think you have a bit of deep-rooted misogyny in your system that you should probably get rid of!

another thing worth mentioning is you guys will absolutely HATE chloe like. want her DEAD for do you wanna hang (i understand being uncomfortable and disliking her character, but wanting her dead is a whole other thing) but absolutely IGNORE jeremy's very blatant objectification of the girls! yes, chloe tries to get with jeremy to make jake jealous (in a very inappropriate way, admittedly), and yes, jeremy does get with brooke to get with christine (under the squip's influence, yes, but you all seem to ignore that with do you wanna hang so why ignore this one?). those two things can and DO co-exist. why ignore what the male character did in favor of hating the female one? i understand chloe's is arguably more serious, but they're both. gross. ok? ok.

[cj-isout]

What’s your favorite thing about Be More Chill?

HOOOLLLYYYYYY BAAAAAALLLSSSSSSS

anon. you have unleashed a storm.

I LOVE BMC SO MUCH. BUT MY ALL TIME FAVORITE THING IS HOW EVERYONE IN THE SHOW FACES SOME SORT OF SOCIAL PRESSURE. EVERYONE IS MEANINGFUL. NO CHARACTER DOESNT HAVE A PURPOSE, SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE CAN RELATE TO.

Jeremy - He's the loser of the school. nobody knows his name, and nobody cares to. He's relatable because people feel trapped in themselves all the time, so they lash out at people they love and the people who TRULY care about them.

Michael - His BEST FRIEND abandoned him for fucks sake. Left him alone for popularity, and was expected to just forget and forgive? Jeremy flat out left him in ONE DAY. He's relatable due to the feeling of being abandoned, being left by the only person that you loved, being left by your "favowite pwerson."

Christine - She's shown as the Bubbly girl. Silly, can do no wrong, always happy. But she's not. She's not oblivious to anything going on around her. She sees that people are in pain, people are suffering, but she can't do anything about it, and it makes her feel useless. That's why she's relatable.

Brooke - She's always in Chloe's shadow. "The second hottest girl in School." And it upsets her. She wants to be seen, she WANTS to be loved. But everyone she's dated has tooken advantage of that love, even the person that she loved the most. She's relatable because of the feeling of being outshined, being someone else's shadow.

Chloe - Everyone sees her as some hot bitch, but noone cares to know her. To TRULY hear her. She makes bad decisions, she's mean, but she can be nice, she can be so goddamn nice. (not defending dywh...) She's relatable because of how people perceive her. People see her as an asshole, she'll fit that goddamn mold.

Rich - He's relatable because of the social pressure for people (mainly teenage boys) to be mean, to be bullies. If you're nice, you're some softy loser. People force themselves to be something that they're not, that's why he's relatable.

Jake - Popular. That's it. He's used for his popularity CONSTANTLY. Chloe only dating him for his popularity, Rich only befriending him for his popularity. And the one time he gets something that he's happy with, he doesn't know how to handle it and fumbles. He's relatable because even though he's popular, he's lonely.

Jenna - Always forgotten. Used for one thing, then ignored. She feels as if her only purpose is to please others. And if she doesn't? She'll fade into obscurity. She justs want to be a part of something, but can't even get that. She's relatable due to being used for someone else's gain.

i hope this makes you cry

[mrlancer]

My Favorite Books of 2022

I think I did decently well at reading in 2022 and the book I'm reading now, I'm not anticipating finishing before the end of the year (it's The Stand by Stephen King), so now is the best time to post about my favorite books of the year.

This year, I read 80 books. 27 of those were the manga Blue Exorcist, and I'm never sure about whether to really count those in my book count, but I am going to count them as 1 big book for the purpose of this list! So, that takes me down to like 54 books.

So, let's go through my list each month, and pick out favorite book(s) from each month! Maybe I won't have a favorite from some months...

Bold means it was a good I really enjoyed! I

I'm going to hide the list under a keep reading line because otherwise this post might be too long for some people!

January

Dune Messiah -Frank Herbert

A Game of Thrones - George R.R. Martin

Memoirs and Misinformation - Dana Vachon and Jim Carrey

February

Mergers and Acquisitions - Dana Vachon

March

A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet - Becky Chambers

Everyone In This Room Will Someday Be Dead - Emily Austin

Diary of a Bookseller - Shaun Bythell

Call Me By Your Name - Andre Aciman

The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller

April

I read nothing

May

A Clash of Kings - George R.R. Martin

Almond - Sohn Won-pyung

Human Acts - Hang Kang

Love in the Big City - Sang Young Park

June

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism - Amanda Montell

Kindred - Octavia E. Butler

July

Blue Exorcist 1-27 - Kazue Kato

Children of Dune - Frank Herbert

Mindhunter: Inside the FBI's Serial Crime Unit - John E. Douglas

Hamnet - Maggie O'Farrell

Columbine - Dave Cullen

August

The Witches: Salem 1692 - Stacy Schiff

Get A Life Chloe Brown - Talia Hibbert

Alias Grace - Margaret Atwood

A Man Called Ove - Fredrik Backman

Shadow and Bone - Leigh Bardugo

The Benefits of Being an Octopus - Ann Braden

Siege and Storm - Leigh Bardugo

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War - Max Brooks

September

The Plague - Albert Camus

Ruin and Rising - Leigh Bardugo

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki - Baek Se-hee

Cursed Bunny - Bora Chung

Crying in H Mart- Michelle Zauner

Shoko's Smile - Choi Eunyoung

I'm Glad My Mom Died - Jennette McCurdy

October

IT - Stephen King

Mexican Gothic - Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Know My Name - Chanel Miller

The Last Magician - Lisa Maxwell

The Cat Who Saved Books - Sosuke Natsukawa

November

Carrie - Stephen King

It Ends With Us - Colleen Hoover

The Final Revival of Opal and Nev - Dawnie Walton

They Both Die At The End - Adam Silvera

A Wizard of Earthsea - Ursula K. Le Guin

Salem's Lot - Stephen King

Tokyo Ueno Station - Yu Miri

The Tombs of Atuan - Ursula K. Le Guin

The Devil All The Time - Donald Ray Pollock

December

Circe - Madeline Miller

Babel - R.F. Kuang

Taaqtumi: An Anthology of Arctic Horror Stories - Aviaq Johnston, et al

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid

Hell Of A Book - Jason Mott

Picking an actual favorite from these is too hard. I read so many great books this year, and obviously some months I read better than others. Actually, I would probably bold more than I have, but I felt bad about bolding more than like 2 per month, though I did do that in like September.

There were only really like 5 or 6 that I didn't really like, but pushed my way through.

I'm quietly aiming for 100 books next year, but I'm not gonna force myself for that, because whenever I aim for goals like that, it just takes the fun out of reading, so I'm going to set my goal at like 5 books and anything more than that is going to be a win for me!

[so-were-heroes]

Note: this was already sent before, but I think the archive might have gotten messy)

OK, I know I said that Queen of Hearts was the last one for a while, but I developed and Akuma!Brooke. Hope you don’t mind.

Akuma Name: Miss Shadow.

Object: A lipstick.

Design: A living three dimensional shadow.

Powers: She can turn into shadows of the wall, which end up making her disappear and become intangible. She keeps changing from tangible to intangible and is heard for Evan and Connor to touch her, meanwhile, it’s easier for her to get the miraculouses.

Reason: She starts to feel tired about being always on Chloe’s shadow.

Solution: They need to use the bee so that they can paralyze Miss Shadow to make her stop being intangible. They see that Chloe is feeling guilty and give her the bee.

Already found the perfect design! But I’m adding some more volume to her hair

Beat friend saving best friend! 😊 💄 🐾

[twostepsfromtemerant]

BMC OBCR first listen reactions

- therminnnn

- will sounds so angry on “time to start the day”

- no more madeline playing deliberately losing at pool, but now we get Brooke saying she “literally never noticed Jeremy”

- will’s falsetto is so pretty

- “Skills to count on” is a dotted rhythm instead of straight

- he sounds so happy/excited on “Michael!”

         - and George sounds like he’s high when doing Micheal’s whole part, but             especially on “never been a better time in history to be a loser”

- Rich yells “gaaaaayy” v aggressively 

- the instrumentation is different in the naaa na na na na na na na part? I think it’s an organ???

- I think the instrumentation is also slightly different in I Love Play rehearsal. Either a melodica or recorder is shadowing Christine’s melody

- slightly faster tempo! more emotion! I love this!!!

- she growls into “Juliet” and does and accent for Blanche du Bois

- Christine has so much characterization simply in the way Stephanie Hsu performs this

- there’s a lot more of the dialogue in all of the songs!

- ooooooh those Baroque style trills at the end!!!

- that transition from More Than Survive reprise into Squip Song??? 

- I love Gerard Canonico he sings with so much emotion

- Jeremy sounds terrified when he asks “you got quick”

- god fucking bless Charlie Rosen

- "picture this” is gone, but I’m okay with that

- either everything is at a faster tempo, or my brain is processing bad b/c it’s 12:19am

- the timbre of George’s voice is sweeter he sounds like he’s constantly smiling

- BARI SAAAAAXXXXX

- “popular’ from “our popular peers” got turned into a dotted rhythm

- The voice at the begininng of The Squip Enters is... something

- oh god I forgot about douche surfer bro Squip

          - but at least we get more dialogue

- c-c-c-c’mon Jeremy can’t you see your operating system is outdated!!!

- hhnnnrrgggk that gliss at the end of wi-i-i-i-iiiil be more chill

- “everything about you makes me wanna die” Jeremy whimpers

- the mall people sound meaner :(

- Looking! Pretty! Sexy! Brooke-ah!

- Chloe is so mad about Madeline

- the fucking jumps in “me-e-e-e-e-e” and the chimes???

- they play with the tempo more in Brooke’s verse of Do You Wanna Ride, and have slightly different harmony when they sing together

- honestly, orchestral chimes are so underutilized in broadway. everyone needs more orchestra chimes

- Jeremy does a cute little giggle when he says “Be More Chill”

- yessssss I love me some in depth characterization

- Brooke eating frozen yogurt though she has “problems with dairy” is so accurate. Last week I watched my friend eat a giant ice cream sundae even though she is lactose intolerant

- “I head to play rehearsal with Christine” rather than drama practice

- GOD BLESS CHARLIE ROSEN

- floooooot

- The Squip has upgraded from lurking to stalking

- this song alone proves why broadway needs more orchestral chimes

- I like Brooke’s new part, especially “Like now, now!”

- Upgrayayayayayade

- CHARACTERIZATION!!!! AND RELATING THE SHOW TO IN REAL LIFE PEOPLE THINKS THEY NEED TO ACT A CERTAIN WAY TO PLEASE EVERYONE ELSE

- I’M TIRED OF BEING THE PERSON THAT EVERYONE THINKS THAT I AM

- and I’m crying. 

         -the layered voices? when they sing in unison? the key change???

- how dare Joe Iconis write Loser, Geek, Whatever, and put it right after the upgraded Upgrade

           - but it’s a very fucking good look into Jeremy’s head, and makes his                     decision to activate Optic nerve Blocking and all that shit much clearer.               His self loathing is so real and painful and raw. We’ve all wanted to just               fit in and not be the weirdo.

            - Will sings with so much emotion that it hurts

- am I crying again, or did I just never stop from before?

- “Jeremy, are you coming” GOT SO MUCH WORSE

- Have I mentioned recently how much I love Charlie Rosen and his decision to use orchestral chimes?

- I love the new sax solo in the instrumental break

- is there an accelerando here, or is it 1am?

- Katlyn Carlson is freaking fantastic

- More characterization!!! yay!!!!

- I will sell my soul to Charlie Rosen

- the instrumentation in MITB is different. no piano at the beginning?

- god the mood shift between “I wanna dance with somebody” and “no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore” was something

- flexible tempo! hit my in the emotions! 

- oh no, the sob on i can’t hear knocking anymore

- guess who’s crying again??? 

- The 4-3 suspension Will does with Stephanie??? very good harmony their voices sound so pretty together

- BARI SAAAAAAXXXX

- Tiffany Mann kills it. her voice. is just. like that. and it’s amazing

- like, she belts the end of the first chorus

- Chloe sounds so desperate when she’s texting Brooke to “apologize”

- I will forever and always love the harmony on “always be aware of autocorrect”

- I’m so used to going to Pitiful Children... this is odd

- Jason Sweettooth Williams just sounds like a dad

- ooooh, catch the More the Survive naaaa na na na part in the brass

- Michael is such a petulant teenager

- instrumental intro and lyrics are different in Pitiful Children, but I still think it should be in 6/8

- Jason Tam’s riffs are the fucking best

- operatic rendition of the “burned down the house” melody, sure, why not?

- "pitiful” is not a straight rhythm in “let’s save the pitiful children” in the 4/4 march

- oh good, dialogue from A Midsummer’s Nightmare with Zombies

- no more ‘my Squip says I can go all the way to Broadway”

- if I have to take over the entire human race, not student body

- “You came to see me in the play” has the same energy and tone as when Jeremy said “michael” in More than Survie

- God I love that we have the dialogue between Michael and Jeremy as the fight, because, and say it with me kids, CHARACTERIZATION

- Brooke and Chloe’s thing is about their own friendship and insecurities, not Jeremy!

- discordant Japanese singing as the Squip dies!!!

- Rich’s lisp!!!!

- the piano is playing Loser Geek Whatever, “michael thinks that weird is rad, but being weird just makes me sad” melody when Jeremy and Christine are talking!!!

- KEY CHANGE AFTER THE SQUIP YELLS JEREMY PLEASE

- it is 1:27am

[rising-above-stars]

BMC Summer Gift Exchange

@bmc-summer-gift-exchange This is for @wheatleylaboratoriez I hope you enjoy it!

Jeremy laid in Michael’s arms, watching the words appear on Michael’s laptop screen. He refused to let Michael stop cuddling him despite the fact he needed to work on his essay. Michael wasn’t complaining. He leaned back against the pillows and headboard on his bed, his chin resting on Jeremy’s shoulder, listening to his boyfriend talk. “I’m just saying, the new game is much better as a standalone game and not the final in the trilogy. The first reboot game was amazing. It was different, both in the story and the gameplay. Rise of the Tomb Raider kind of followed on? And it was alright. Shadow of the Tomb Raider did not work out at all. Not as part of the series, anyway.”

“Whatever you say, Jere,” Michael smiled, pressing a kiss to Jeremy’s shoulder.  A smile grew across Jeremy’s lips. “Have you finished yet?” A hum left Michael’s lips “I suppose I could take a break.” He shut the laptop, moving it off Jeremy’s lap. Jeremy grinned and rolled over in Michael’s arms, leaning up to press a kiss to Michael’s lips.  “Good. Because I need your full, undivided attention.”  Michael laughed. “And my full, undivided attention you shall get.”  Jeremy grinned. He shifted in Michael’s lap to drape his arms over his boyfriend’s shoulders. He pressed a kiss to his lips. “Perfect. Because I think I deserve it after you ignoring me for hours while writing that essay of yours.”  Michael laughed again, shaking his head. He tugged Jeremy a little closer. “God, you are such a dork.”  “But I’m your dork. And you love me.”  Michael smiled, pressing another kiss to Jeremy’s lips. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I love you.”  “And I love you too.” Jeremy returned the smile, happily leaning into the other. This was good. 

And then Michael kissed him. Oh, and Jeremy certainly wasn’t complaining. This was very good. He let his eyes fall shut, his lips moving in sync with Michael’s. Michael laid back on the bed, Jeremy gladly doing the same thing, letting Michael pull him close. Michael tangled a hand through Jeremy’s hair, and Jeremy let out a soft hum. God, that always felt good. He loved it when Michael messed with his hair.   He let the other boy deepen the kiss, tilting his head a little more. Jeremy felt Michael’s hand sneaking underneath his shirt, rubbing small circles on his side. 

Jeremy tensed up at the touch.

“Jerry!” Chloe called out over the music. She grabbed Jeremy’s hand, pulling him through the crowds of people towards the stairs. “Chloe? Where are we going?” “Brooke said she has a surprise for you!”

Jeremy tried to push the thought away. Michael was not Chloe. Michael was not drunk. Michael would not trap him here. Jeremy knew that. Michael wouldn’t hurt him. Especially not like that.

“So, uh- where’s Brooke? You said she had a surprise-” “Oh my god…” Chloe laughed. “You are too freaking adorable.” She pulled Jeremy close with a grin, he could smell the alcohol on her breath. “Brooke’s not coming.”

Michael pulled Jeremy a little closer, taking things a little slower. He broke the kiss for a moment. “Are you okay?” Although, he figured he wasn’t. Jeremy was tense, he looked like he was trying to calm down.  

“What? She’s not? Then-” Chloe dragged him over to the bed. “Why don’t we hang for a bit? Just you and me?” She said, sitting down. She pulled Jeremy down with her.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good.” Jeremy nodded. “Keep going…” Michael hesitantly nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to Jeremy’s lips. The thoughts calmed down. Michael was being slow, gentle, nothing like Chloe. Jeremy returned the kiss. Michael laid them both back, tangling his fingers in Jeremy’s hair once again.

“I-I have to go,” Jeremy said. He tried to move. He couldn’t move. “I can’t move my feet.” ‘You’re welcome.’ The S.Q.U.I.P said. Although Jeremy couldn’t see it, he could hear the smug look in its voice. Chloe pushed him back on the bed, straddling his lap. Panic was beginning to set in. He couldn’t move. “I-I should get back-” “Back to Brooke?” Chloe spat. She took another sip of the milk in her baby bottle. Who goes to a party as a sexy baby? “Everybody always likes Brooke. Why is that? Because she’s nice? I can be nice! I can be so goddamn nice!”

Michael deepened the kiss once more, pressing closer to Jeremy. He trailed his hands down to Jeremy’s hips again, squeezing them gently.

Jeremy tried to get the girl off him. He couldn’t move, the S.Q.U.I.P wouldn’t let him.

Jeremy froze, his whole body going tense.

Chloe grinned down at him. She took a swig of her bottle before pressing it to Jeremy’s lips. “It’s not actually milk.” Jeremy could only watch as his hand took the bottle and he took a swig. The alcohol burned as it went down his throat.

Michael pulled away, frowning. Okay, something was very wrong. He wasn’t going to let Jeremy say he was fine. “Jeremy?”

Chloe tossed the bottle to the side, leaning down to press a kiss to Jeremy’s lips.

Jeremy pushed Michael away, trying to move as far away from the boy as possible. “I didn’t want it! I-I didn’t want it!”

There was banging on the door.

Jeremy wrapped his arms around himself.

Jake was yelling.

He pulled at his hair.

Chloe was yelling back.

He covered his ears, shaking his head.

He couldn’t move.

He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. Michael sat up. “Jeremy- What’s wrong?”  

Jake forced his way into the room. Jeremy pushed Chloe off him, ducking past Jake. Brooke stood in the doorway. “I-I’m sorry…”

“I-I’m sorry-” Jeremy was shaking, trying his hardest to calm his breathing down. That was proving to be a problem. Michael’s voice was faint, he could barely hear him over the beating of his heart in his ears, or over the flashbacks to that party. Michael was going to yell at him again. It’s what happened last time and it’s going to happen again. Michael quickly moved over to Jeremy, cupping his cheeks and forcing Jeremy to look at him. “Jeremy, hey- Look at me, okay?” Jeremy looked at Michael with unfocused eyes. He placed his hands on top of Michael’s. “I’m sorry- Chloe, she- Brooke- Is Brooke okay? Jake- I'm sorry! We- We didn’t do anything!” Michael nodded. “Brooke’s okay, Chloe and Jake aren’t here, remember? It’s just you and me. Michael, remember?” “M-Michael? Wh-what are you doing here? Please- D-don't yell at me...” “I’m not going to yell at you, I promise. I just need you to focus on my voice, okay?” Jeremy gave a shaky nod. “O-Okay...” “Good. Now, just look at me. Focus completely on me. Breathe in...” Jeremy nodded again. Focus on Michael, he could do that. He followed Michael’s instructions until his breathing calmed down enough. Michael smiled softly. “You’re doing well, Jere. You’re okay. I promise. Can you name five things you can see for me?” Jeremy swallowed thickly, his eyes darting around the room. “Uh- y-your desk. The window.” What else? What else could he focus on? “Your- your Marley posters. O-our pictures. And you.” “Good job, Jeremy. Now, what about four things you can touch?” “Y-you. Uh... The bed...” He ran his hands over the covers before his hand trailed to Michael’s headphones. “Your headphones.” What else? What else could he touch, what else could he touch, what else- “My shirt.” “You’re doing so well, sugar. You’re okay, you’re safe. I need three things you can hear.” Jeremy’s mind was still swirling, but he was trying his best to focus on Michael. “Your voice. The- the clock ticking, a-and the wind outside.” “Well done. Two things you can smell. Can you do that?” “Y-your cologne. A-And weed.” Michael smiled. “One more to go. One thing you can taste?” Jeremy took a shaky breath, leaning into Michael a little more. What could he taste? What could he- “My spit?” Michael wrapped his arms around Jeremy, pulling him close. “Very good. You’re okay, you’re safe, and it’s just us. We’re not at Jake’s, okay?” Jeremy nodded, loosely wrapping his arms around Michael. “Thank you...” He said softly. Michael gently rubbed Jeremy’s back. “Hey, anything for you, doll.” Jeremy’s mind was still reeling, but he was okay. Michael said so. It was him and Michael and he was okay.

“I’m sorry...” Jeremy said. Michael shook his head, just holding Jeremy close. “It’s okay, we have no need to rush, okay? You can always tell me when you want to stop.” Jeremy shook his head. “I should be over this by now.” “Jeremy, this isn’t an easy thing to move past...” “But I should be past it! At this rate, we’ll never do it and I can’t make you happy!” Michael frowned, running a hand through Jeremy’s hair. “Hey... We don’t have to go that far if you don’t want to. I mean it, it’s perfectly okay if we never go that far. We never have to do it.” “But- what about what you want?” “My want for you to be happy is much more important than my want for sex. If staying with you means that I have to give up sex? Then I will do it because I love you. So much.” Michael pressed a gentle kiss to Jeremy’s forehead. “We will go as fast or as slow as you want, as far as you want, or we can keep it to just cuddling and the occasional kiss. It’s all up to you, okay? And whatever you are comfortable with. Not anyone else. Jeremy smiled softly and nodded, pressing a kiss to Michael’s cheek before resting his head on his shoulder. “Thank you. I love you.” “I love you too.” Michael smiled softly.

[richincolor]

New Releases

With summer break almost upon us, or for those of us already lucky to be out, these new releases are perfect for road trips or sitting by the pool.

Virtually Yours by Sarvenaz Tash Simon Schuster Books for Young Readers

Modern love plus online anonymity is a recipe for romantic disaster in this lighthearted new romance from the author of The Geek’s Guide to Unrequited Love.

How bad can one little virtual lie be?

NYU freshman Mariam Vakilian hasn’t dated anyone in five months, not since her high school sweetheart Caleb broke up with her. So, when she decides to take advantage of an expiring coupon and try out a new virtual reality dating service, it’s sort of a big deal.

It’s an even bigger deal when it chooses as one of her three matches none other than Caleb himself. That has to be a sign, right?

Except that her other match, Jeremy, just happens to be her new best friend IRL.

Mariam’s heart is telling her one thing, but the app is telling her another. So, which should she trust? Is all fair in modern love? — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Five Midnights by Ann Dávila Cardinal Tor Teen

Five friends cursed. Five deadly fates. Five nights of retribución.

If Lupe Dávila and Javier Utierre can survive each other’s company, together they can solve a series of grisly murders sweeping though Puerto Rico. But the clues lead them out of the real world and into the realm of myths and legends. And if they want to catch the killer, they’ll have to step into the shadows to see what’s lurking there—murderer, or monster? — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Not Your Backup by C.B. Lee

Emma Robledo has a few more responsibilities that the usual high school senior, but then again, she and her friends have left school to lead a fractured Resistance movement against a corrupt Heroes League of Heroes. Emma is the only member of a supercharged team without powers, she isn’t always taken seriously. A natural leader, Emma is determined to win this battle, and when that’s done, get back to school. As the Resistance moves to challenge the League, Emma realizes where her place is in this fight: at the front.

Like a Love Story by Abdi Nazemian Balzer + Bray

It’s 1989 in New York City, and for three teens, the world is changing.

Reza is an Iranian boy who has just moved to the city with his mother to live with his stepfather and stepbrother. He’s terrified that someone will guess the truth he can barely acknowledge about himself. Reza knows he’s gay, but all he knows of gay life are the media’s images of men dying of AIDS.

Judy is an aspiring fashion designer who worships her uncle Stephen, a gay man with AIDS who devotes his time to activism as a member of ACT UP. Judy has never imagined finding romance…until she falls for Reza and they start dating.

Art is Judy’s best friend, their school’s only out and proud teen. He’ll never be who his conservative parents want him to be, so he rebels by documenting the AIDS crisis through his photographs.

As Reza and Art grow closer, Reza struggles to find a way out of his deception that won’t break Judy’s heart–and destroy the most meaningful friendship he’s ever known.

This is a bighearted, sprawling epic about friendship and love and the revolutionary act of living life to the fullest in the face of impossible odds. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

I Wanna Be Where You Are by Kristina Forest Roaring Brook Press

“In a world where it’s easy to lose faith in love, I WANNA BE WHERE YOU ARE is a brilliant burst of light. A dazzling debut.” ― Nic Stone, New York Times bestselling author of Dear Martin and Odd One Out

When Chloe Pierce’s mom forbids her to apply for a spot at the dance conservatory of her dreams, she devises a secret plan to drive two hundred miles to the nearest audition. But Chloe hits her first speed bump when her annoying neighbor Eli insists upon hitching a ride, threatening to tell Chloe’s mom if she leaves him and his smelly dog, Geezer, behind. So now Chloe’s chasing her ballet dreams down the east coast―two unwanted (but kinda cute) passengers in her car, butterflies in her stomach, and a really dope playlist on repeat.

Filled with roadside hijinks, heart-stirring romance, and a few broken rules, I Wanna Be Where You Are is a YA debut perfect for fans of Jenny Han and Sandhya Menon.

If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann Swoon Reads

High school finally behind her, Winnie is all set to attend college in the fall. But first she’s spending her summer days working at her granny’s diner and begins spending her midnights with Dallas—the boy she loves to hate and hates that she likes. Winnie lives in Misty Haven, a small town where secrets are impossible to keep—like when Winnie allegedly snaps on Dr. Skinner, which results in everyone feeling compelled to give her weight loss advice for her own good. Because they care that’s she’s “too fat.”

Winnie dreams of someday inheriting the diner—but it’ll go away if they can’t make money, and fast. Winnie has a solution—win a televised cooking competition and make bank. But Granny doesn’t want her to enter—so Winnie has to find a way around her formidable grandmother. Can she come out on top?

This Time Will Be Different by Misa Sugiura HarperTeen

Katsuyamas never quit—but seventeen-year-old CJ doesn’t even know where to start. She’s never lived up to her mom’s type A ambition, and she’s perfectly happy just helping her aunt, Hannah, at their family’s flower shop.

She doesn’t buy into Hannah’s romantic ideas about flowers and their hidden meanings, but when it comes to arranging the perfect bouquet, CJ discovers a knack she never knew she had. A skill she might even be proud of.

Then her mom decides to sell the shop—to the family who swindled CJ’s grandparents when thousands of Japanese Americans were sent to internment camps during WWII. Soon a rift threatens to splinter CJ’s family, friends, and their entire Northern California community; and for the first time, CJ has found something she wants to fight for.

When the Ground Is Hard by Malla Nunn G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for Young Readers

In this stunning and heartrending tale set in a Swaziland boarding school, two girls of different castes bond over a shared copy of Jane Eyre.

Adele Joubert loves being one of the popular girls at Keziah Christian Academy. She knows the upcoming semester at school is going to be great with her best friend Delia at her side. Then Delia dumps her for a new girl with more money, and Adele is forced to share a room with Lottie, the school pariah, who doesn’t pray and defies teachers’ orders.

But as they share a copy of Jane Eyre, Lottie’s gruff exterior and honesty grow on Adele, and Lottie learns to be a little sweeter. Together, they take on bullies and protect each other from the vindictive and prejudiced teachers. Then a boy goes missing on campus and Adele and Lottie must rely on each other to solve the mystery and maybe learn the true meaning of friendship.

The Boxer by Nikesh Shukla Hodder Children’s Books

Told over the course of the ten rounds of his first fight, this is the story of amateur boxer Sunny. A seventeen-year-old feeling isolated and disconnected in the city he’s just moved to, Sunny joins a boxing club to learn to protect himself after a racist attack. He finds the community he’s been desperately seeking at the club, and a mentor in trainer Shona, who helps him find his place in the world. But racial tensions are rising in the city, and when a Far Right march through Bristol turns violent, Sunny is faced with losing his new best friend Keir to radicalisation.

A gripping, life-affirming YA novel about friendship, radicalisation and finding where you belong.

[bigbrothereclipse]

EPISODE 1 -  “I’M KINDA MAD I DIDN’T GET HOH, BUT I’LL GET IT NEXT TIME FOR SURE.” - ASHLYN

HOH - ELIJAH

POV - FROSBY

EVICTED - ASHLYN / 13-2

FROSBY - https://youtu.be/3J7_Nd8O57M

SARAH G - https://youtu.be/m-nPTenfhdM

JULS - https://youtu.be/U2RI53y6qgI

ELIJAH - https://youtu.be/IeEiggUn3f4

BROOKE

Night 1 is done and I just want to express my thoughts on my fellow housemates. 

Ashlyn- I’ve reached out to her and got two words back and now no response so I’m not quite sure what to think of her. I’m not sure if it’s just me or if she’s gonna be the ‘Chloe’ of the season, which is not a bad thing, just a bit more difficult.

Bob- We go wayyyy back. I’ve played with him in like January and completely got fooled by him. I’m definitely going to be cautious of him but also try to align myself with him. On top of all that, I got best rivalry with his brother, Joe last season. 

Cheatham- I’ve had a good conversation with him and would love to align with him.

Elijah- We’ve bonded a lot by being in the latest timezone (in America at least) and he’s even mentioned meeting in person since he’s only like a 6 hour drive from me. I can see Elijah becoming my ride or die and I definitely do feel like I could trust him. 

Frosby- OMG FROSBY IS BACK TOO! We tried to work together last season, but it failed when we both found ourselves on the block on Drew’s HoH. Frosby was quick to use screenshots against me, so I will definitely be cautious knowing that about him.

Gabe- Gabe was the first one to ask me about my daughter. I definitely see him becoming an ally and a friend outside this game. He was asking me questions about Saphire’s father, therefore probably knows the most about me on a personal level. 

Gigi- I’ve talked to her a little bit. I know I’m not supposed to judge people by their photos but she looks like someone who wouldn’t even hurt a fly. I feel like she will surprise me as I am not painting her as big of a threat as I probably should. 

Indigo- I talked to them a little bit as well. We bonded over being lazy and loving to sing, but I don’t really see any potential in the long run. 

Jacob- He seems nice. I’ve talked to him a little bit, but definitely need to talk to him more to get a full read. 

Jordyn- I’ve reached out to her and have yet to get a response.

Juls- I played with Juls once before but that season didn’t go well for me. I would love to get to know her more. 

Mackenzie- Okay, I know this is the same Mackenzie that took over my HoH in another game and I’m still a little unhappy about that. (I hold grudges, what can I say). Anyways, she thinks I forgave her but I will stab her in the back the first chance I get. 

Nick- I haven’t talked to Nick enough to get an opinion on him, but my gut is telling me he could potentially be a backstabber.

Rodney- We talked about BB22 a little bit and bonded over that, not enough of a bond to make me want to work with him though. 

Roxy- I’ve talked to Roxy a bit but don’t see them as an ally.

Sarah G- Omg where do I even start with Sarah G? Okay well she harassed and threatened me in the black hole last season (as a punishment). I still get PTSD from pings. I told her I don’t hate her, and that is true but I will NOT work with her unless my life depends on it. I will make it my goal to get her out ASAP. 

Wren- I’ve talked to Wren a little bit and she seems like such a sweetheart. Definitely someone I might be willing to work with. 

Right now, my thoughts are to form a 6 person alliance with 3 solars (Frosby, Bob, and Elijah) and 3 lunars (Gabe, Cheatham, and myself). Frosby and I agreed to meet up again after assessing the cast and we’ll go from there. With this twist in place, I think having 3 from each group would be a good idea. 

ASHLYN

Elijah and I haven’t had much of a conversation, im going to continue trying to stay under the radar and let Elijah make enemies of his own. I won’t attempt to ally with him, for fear of being seen as a suck up- I’ll just try to be kind to him and pose not as much of a threat. My bet is he will nominate the other two highest scores, either that or someone he particularly dislikes. I’m kinda mad I didn’t get HoH, but I’ll get it next time for sure.

GIGI

So the HOH came down to Gabe and Elijah. Before it was announced, I was lowkey praying for Elijah to win over Gabe just because I have connected more to Elijah than I have with Gabe. He and I talked a little bit last night but I feel like that wouldn’t have been enough if he were to win. I’m hoping I’m good with Elijah because he seems really chill and he’s definitely someone I’d want to work with moving forward. I’m kinda hoping he nominates people from the other side because I do believe that team has more threats (just based off of first impressions). 

As far as who I’ve been connecting with, I have basically talked to everyone on the cast with the exception of a few, but I’d say I’m more connected to Rodney and Roxy. Rodney and I have a little secret that no one else needs to know 😏 and that’s that we know each other! I met Rodney through a game we’re currently playing (OBB) and he’s been my number 1 ally in that game since week 1. We’ve become so close that we were talking about wanting to play another game together. He’s the one that actually sent me the app to this game so if it weren’t for Rodney I would not be here rn. He is 100% my number one ally in this game. And I want to make it far with him. But with this twist, it makes me so scared because we are on the same team and whoever wins hoh has the possibility of having to nominate from their own team. I hope he and I can survive and make it very far in this game together. Anyways I’m pretty sure like half of this cast knows each other and have some sort of pre deals going on anyways so I don’t feel bad. 🤪 I just don’t want to openly make it seem like we know each other so we don’t become targets, so RODNEY WHO??? Haha jk. They better not come for him or come for me bc it’s gonna go downnn😈. (Lmao)

With Roxy, it’s so easy to carry a conversation with and I feel like me and her are similar in a lot of ways so we kinda have gravitated towards each other. 

I’m hoping to make more connections obviously as the game progresses. 

The twist: 

The twist is pretty cute ngl but it can fuck up my game 😫😫 which I don’t like. The fact that my own teammate can nominate me just doesn’t sit right with my spirit. I’m hoping I can avoid the block but we will see. 🥰 I’m so curious to know who Elijah is gonna nominate. Gonna try to find out where his head is at. 

Anyways that’s all for now, sorry for writing so much <3

WREN

so.. i’m not very close to eli.. but we talked abt trees!! idk how promising that is. i’m trying to hang low, but i might’ve screwed up. what if people target me because they think i’m just a waste of space? i have to win the next comp that comes around.. or i need to get some “special power”.. either way, i have to get out of the shadows if i want people to see me as a game player.

BOB

I don't really mind Elijah winning, but at the same time, I haven't connected to him all that much so far so maybe I'm at risk. Who really knows? However, I have made my immediate connections with Frosby and Brooke that give me allies on both sides of the house immediately. Frosby is wary of Brooke, but that's dumb to worry about this early---everyone will want to stay safe. I get on super well with Rodney as well, loveeee talking BB with him so much. I'm trying to mend fences with Mackenzie, just don't have the energy for it lol. As far as the twist is concerned, I like the idea of it and I feel like it's not an overarching twist that will take away from gameplay so I see it like this: normal weeks as an option is great, but every other week it probably benefits me more to work with the other side. If you are going on the block by your own side, then you need the other side's votes. If you are going up at their hands, then you need to have good bonds with them. If they are getting nominated by either side, who friggin cares because it won't be me! I guess there are some benefits to maintaining relationships on my own side, but strategically, you cover more bases by cozying up to them.

WREN

so eli wants to make me a pawn against jordyn.. and that slightly worries me. she’s extremely inactive, so maybe i wouldn’t be kicked off. but everyone knows pawns go home a TON. i don’t know how i feel about it.. but if it wins me an one on one alliance.. it’s worth it. especially such a strong player. this can backfire or help me a ton. 

[bb-bigbang-org]

EPISODE 3 - “The bottom line: I really hope that this is the week where Drew goes.” - CODY

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 10:

Parting Words: Before the eviction, Ashley DMed me with some parting knowledge. She said she knows she is being evicted, but to make sure I watch out for Joe because he is well-liked and a "wild-card". She said he's close with Brooke, Kayla, Mandi, & Frosby and they may feel like they owe him. None of this surprises me, it is similar to what Austin told me yesterday. I do wonder if there's another alliance that Frosby is in with Joe. I do still trust Frosby and I believe that he has my best interest at heart, even if there is something else going on. I may just ask him straight up if there's another alliance.

Eviction: Ashley was evicted on a unanimous vote. I don't have much to say about this. She must have gotten herself in a bad position with both sides of the house. That's unfortunate. I wonder what's going to happen with her dying star. She messaged me before leaving so maybe she likes me, and she might give it to me. But I don't necessarily want it because I have a chance of getting the disadvantage too…

AUSTIN

Omg yessssssssss! Lukas winning is one of the best outcomes that could ever happen for me this week.  Having a second alliance with mandi and drew I feel will be good for me long term in the game as well. I like everyone in the game but they are some ppl I dont trust.  Brook, joe,frosby,and katrina are ppl I'm watching out for. ik trying to keep brook close to me tho just incase maybe she actually does wanna work together.  

CODY

I’m loving this idea that Lukas has come up with about getting the house to cast votes on who they want to go. Because my blow up with Drew I think did plant some seeds that he’s not really an asset in this game. And from what I’ve heard people are looking to throw some votes at him, which means that if he finishes in the top 2 of this. And Lukas is a man of his word, then Drew goes up on the block

The downside is that I’ve been the biggest character so far in this game. It’s been majorly impossible for me to slide under the radar though I have tried ever since I got saved. After Austin saved me I’ve been trying to be super chill and I think I’ve done a good job at it so hopefully people will realise that there’s bigger fish to fry in this game than myself. I actually think the fact that I’ve been on the block twice in this game could be something that people won’t respect and I might be able to twist it in my favour and say that I’m not going to win because everybody keeps nominating me “I’m such a joke”, who knows it might actually work. Will just have to wait and see...

Lukas did express interest in wanting to save me last week had he won power of veto however he did approach me after the blowup with Drew saying it probably wouldn’t be a smart move for him however my argument would be that if Drew is truly playing a bad social game I don’t think saving me would have been that big of a hindrance in the game

The bottom line: I really hope that this is the week where Drew goes. He’s my biggest liability in this game and has no allegiance to me or any of my people. And the longer he stays in the worse off myself and my people are....

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 11:

HOH Strategy: I am wary about winning the HOH this week because I feel like I am sort of sitting in between two sides of the house. Austin seems to trust me and come to me with information, but I have an alliance with Cody, and they are enemies. For the comp, I tried to get decent scores that I didn't think would win. Last time I tried that, I placed 2nd out of 16 players though... I'm nervous!

HOH Results: Lukas won HOH again. He is probably putting a target on his back winning 2/3 HOHs, but that's not my problem. I'm okay with this win. I don't think he'll come after me because he talks to me fairly often. He may go after Cody because he's already put him up and it'd be safer than putting new blood on his hands. But I think we'll have to just see what happens. He just said "This HOH is going to work a little different, so stay tuned!" What does that mean??

Lukas's Announcement - Lukas has decided to put his nominations up to a house vote. That's probably the smartest way for him to mitigate risk from being HOH twice already. I feel even more okay after this because I feel like there are definitely bigger targets in this house than me. I feel pretty safe from nomination this week...

Andy's Realization: After discussing the nomination votes with the Syndicate alliance, Andy brought up a really good point about this Lukas thing. He may be trying to put a smaller target on his back by asking the house who they want out. But really he's gaining a lot of information from everyone about who they want gone. He could figure out what the alliances are based on who answers the same. So, we are going to each put slightly different votes to try to deflect suspicion.

Brooke: Apparently Brooke messaged Cody saying she's going to suggest that I go up because I never reply to her DMs. I want to be upset by this but she's kinda right, I don't really answer her DMs because usually she doesn't say much so I don't have anything meaningful to respond to…

ANDREW

I’m going to start with this. I hated Lukas “google form” on how he’s going to make his decision. Nevertheless, He was “a man of his word” and made his decision based on how the house voted. I’m really surprised with the results. Or am I? 

I got 0 votes, that is wonderful, my under the radar (UTR) strategy is going great. SYNDICATE is my main alliance, but I know it can die. WHATS THE TEA is my spy alliance, I want to keep Brooke close, I trust mandi 100%, she talks straight up, but Brooke is very calculated with her words, I can’t trust her, so I need someone I can trust with someone I don’t, to make them feel comfortable, and when I have the opportunity, strike. LONG CON. FUNFRESHFAB is my underdog alliance, I’m very certain this two girls are alone in the game, and if not, is good to have all wild cards in one room. I like small alliances, right now. With these two alliances. I can pick off at least KAYLA  and DREW. 

More later.. xoxo 🥥 

DESIREE

I keep losing track of if I submitted...sorry if this is a duplicate

Daily Thoughts for Day 12:

I was nominated over Cody...are you freaking kidding meeeeeeeeee? Ugh I'm super annoyed right now. I hope that I'm not the target here. Lukas's HOH strategy is just a mess, and if the intention was to stay without blood on his hands, it really backfired. We see through this strategy and recognize how much information he just collected. I don't know what I'm going to do, though... I just have to try hard for POV. If Austin wins, I wonder if he would use it, and if so on who? I'm guessing he's closer with Kayla than with me, but we do still talk game often...so I don't know..

CODY

Well shit I got put on the block for a second time in this game

And I genuinely don’t have much hope whatsoever that I’ll be saved sadly...I am still trying to scramble however it’s just not likely and I’m at peace with it. It does suck that Drew is gonna get the last laugh on me I really wanted to send that guy home after he screwed me and then went on to alienate himself from me and my people

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 13:

POV Competition: That competition had me majorly stressed. I spent hours preparing and I still didn't do as much as I would have liked. If time was a factor, I'd be screwed. But, overall I think I did okay. My strategy was to try to cut the pool in half with each question.

Pre-POV Results Thoughts: Austin said he would use the POV on me if he wins because he wants to work with me. I'm not sure if he actually will, but if he does win I need to prepare my allies for the possibility of him using it on me, so they don't think I'm doing something sneaky behind my back. I never approached Austin to work with him, but he messages me every day telling me his plans and now wants to help me, so why would I turn that down? I could use that to my advantage and help my allies.

POV Ceremony: I was sooooooo close to winning that POV and that frustrates me a lot. Brooke won, who is buddy buddy with Kayla, so it was obvious that she would take Kayla off the block. My only saving grace is that Cody was the replacement nominee and I think it's pretty obvious that he's a bigger threat than me.

Campaigning For Votes: I have talked to the other members of the Syndicate alliance and they have both agreed to vote Cody out instead of me. Austin also messaged me and said that he is for sure voting Cody and he is pushing for others to do the same. Kayla told me even before the POV ceremony that she would vote for me to stay over Cody if she had the option. I have also heard that Chloe and Katrina are voting out Cody as well. So, if everyone is telling the truth, then I'll be safe. I won't feel safe until the votes are read, though.

FROSBY

So ya with Cody and Desiree up on the Block for this elimination this just fucking sucks for me right now. Like really is the worst for my game. I mean I knew Cody would eventually go, that's why I was keeping him around was to be a vote shield for as long as I could keep him around. Now it looks like he is gone for good which I mean is better than seeing Desiree go, and I mean at this point with how many people voted for Desiree she might just become me and Andrews new vote shield. All I know is Andrew and I were sitting pretty in our 4 man alliance with Cody and Desiree and now this whole vote thing Lukas did really screwed over the Syndicate alliance. The good news is the alliance is designed to be the under the radar players all teaming up and working together without anyone knowing about us. That plan can still work without Cody, it actually might be a lot easier to work without Cody, because if Desiree can slide back into the shadows after this vote us 3 can quietly make a Final 6 if we play our cards right and not make any enemies and I know Andrew is good at not making enemies as for Desiree, seeing 6 different people vote for her in the Lukas poll makes me think she isn't as Under the Radar as I thought.  Oh well we will see how this vote goes, I'm thinking about making a play to just vote against Desiree with Katrina, just to make the vote 9-2 but then both of us just deny it like crazy and act like we have no idea who those 2 votes are and create more chaos in the house that I, Katrina and Andrew can all use to hide under. (again this idea is in the back of my mind but I probably won't do it idk yet, I might feel a little silly when I cast my vote this afternoon so we will see)  

MANDI

i wish we could get the votes to flip again. that would really stir up the house.😂 but only 2 other people are on board with me.

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 13:

Smear Campaign: I woke up today to the news that Cody has been running a smear campaign against me. He is telling people that I was the one pushing to vote Kayla out. Meanwhile, Cody was the one who first mentioned targeting Kayla. It seems like they aren't believing the lies, which is great, but I wonder what else he's saying that I haven't heard about...

Eviction: So, the vote was 10-1 and Cody was evicted. Thank goodness. I mean, I figured it would go that way, but you just never know. Before Cody left, he said he was lying about it being his birthday. What a piece of work... Getting to know him he seemed like a good guy, I just wish he didn't play the villain so much.

HOH Competition: That competition was so hard and I need to work on my typing skills. Pretty sure there's no way I'm winning this one.😞 Hopefully one of my other alliance members wins…

WEEK 3 CAST ASSESSMENT 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u39yg_9iHUQ

[treebrosephs]

a few random scenes from a beauty and the beast au that ill never finish ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ happy new year!

“Someone’s here.” The candlestick whispered, elbowing the clock to get his attention. A sound rang through the grand hall as the old door was opened and a woman stepped inside. The lantern in her hand illuminated the dark room, throwing shadows at odd angels. Despite the terrifying darkness, she didn’t look afraid.

“Shhh, you’ll scare her away.” The clock responded. The candlestick crept forward to catch a peek of the intruder, but Michael pulled him back with a sharp tug.

Jeremy glared, his flames dimming slightly at the pointed look Michael was giving him.

“I just wanted to look.”

“No, you just wanted to snoop.” Jeremy pouted and Michael let out a quiet laugh. “C’mon, Master is in the east wing, he’ll want to know we have a guest.”

Jeremy reluctantly allowed himself to be pulled away, his neck craning to try and get one last glance at the girl. It wasn’t often they had visitors of any sort.

Actually, Jeremy couldn’t remember the last time anyone had come to visit.

The last thing he saw before Michael pulled him around a corner was the girl ripping down a white sheet to examine a painting of Master’s mother – an evil looking woman with a heart to match. The painting was unimaginative and dull, but the portrait was a haunting reminder.

  They eventually found him in the library. The beast stood at the far window, his silhouette harsh against the moonlight cascading into the room. He looked deep in thought, his large hands resting on the sill as he stared into the night. He almost looked peaceful, if one didn’t know better. The pair paused in the doorway.

“Master?” Michael asked quietly, shattering the silence in the room. Jeremy tensed, and he fought the urge to grab Michael’s hand, knowing it would only serve to singe the glossy finish on his friend’s wooden limb.

The peaceful atmosphere changed instantaneously. The calm line of the beast’s shoulders tensed, his thoughtful expression turning to stone as he turned. Michael fought the urge to step back.

“Master, I’m sorry to disturb you, but there’s someone in the castle and-”

The beast cut him off with a growl. The red hair that covered his bulking frame seemed to stand on end, teeth glinting in the pale light. Anger was an emotion the beast knew all too well. “Take me to them.”

Jeremy sent out a silent prayer for the girl, but did as he was told. Michael trailed behind, concern prevalent on his ticking face.

  After it was all said and done, the strange pair were left with a bitter taste in their mouths. The first visitor in years was now left to the dungeons. Her pleas were still ringing in Jeremy’s ears.

“Master,” Michael began hesitantly, “She only picked a flower for her wife as a gift. Isn’t this a little harsh?”

The beast acted as though he had not heard, large paws echoing as he stomped toward the forbidden west wing. The clock and the candlestick knew better than to try and follow.

Michael sighed, his wooden shoulders slumping in defeat as he turned and made his way toward the kitchens. Dinner would need to be ready soon, and if they wanted to have any leftovers for their guest, Michael knew he would have to bribe the stove. She could be tricky and stubborn, and he knew he was probably going to have to offer a month of favors if he wanted to get anything accomplished. Maybe if he talked to Jenna, she could convince-

“Do you think she could be the one?” Jeremy blurted, interrupting his spiraling thoughts. “The one to break the spell?”

“She’s married, isn’t she? To a woman.”

“But that – well, maybe, you know, it doesn’t mean,” Jeremy continued, his words jumbling together. “I just… this is the first chance we’ve ever had for things to go back to… normal.”

Michael stopped walking, hiding his doubtful expression. Jeremy sounded so hopeful, and Michael felt something dark twist in his stomach.

Hope meant nothing in this cursed place.

“No.” He said finally, continuing down the long corridor. “No, I don’t think she’s the one.”

Jeremy didn’t follow. Without his flames, the hallway grew darker and darker with each step. Michael refused to look back.

  “Brooke!” A male voice called out, days later, fracturing the heavy silence that always seemed to encompass the castle grounds. Jeremy jumped in surprise, his flame coming a little too close to a nearby curtain.

“Hey!” Michael snapped, pushing the curtain back. “Are you trying to burn the place down? These curtains are ancient.”

“Shut up! Its not my fault I’m so hot.” Michael rolled his eyes.

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that buddy.” Jeremy opened his mouth to argue, but was interrupted by the voice again – this time closer.

“Brooke!”

“Is someone yelling?” The feather duster asked, slowly swaying up to the pair at the top of the stairs. Jeremy would have blushed if possible, the flames on his head growing higher with his embarrassment.

“C-Christine!” He stammered. Wax started to drip onto the floor from his hands. Michael fought the urge to roll his eyes again.

“Yeah, I think it’s someone looking for the girl in the dungeons.” Michael responded, taking over the conversation. He knew Jeremy was going to be stuck opening and closing his mouth for a good minute before eventually managing to squeak out something embarrassing.

“Oh! Well that’s surely interesting. Should someone… tell Master?”

The uncomfortable silence that came after was answer enough. Seeing the beast’s response to their last visitor left them… reluctant, to say the least.

“Maybe not.” Michael said after a moment, reaching up nervously to fiddle with the minutes hand on his clock face.

“You’re looking extra dusty today!” Jeremy practically shouted, looking like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole. Michael put his head in his hands.

Taking pity on the poor candlestick, Christine smiled. “Thank you, Jeremy. That’s very…” she paused uncomfortably, “… sweet.”

Michael knew he had to end this exchange before he physically died from second hand embarrassment. Swooping in and expertly avoiding Jeremy’s flames, he threw an arm around his shoulders and began leading his friend away.

“Alright, Christine, we’re gonna go see what all the noise is about. Catch you later!”

Jeremy made a garbled noise that was probably meant to be a goodbye, and Christine waved them away with a flick of one feather.

  “Show me your face!” The boy yelled, still holding Brooke’s hand through the cell door. Michael and Jeremy stood in the shadows, unable to do anything but watch as the boy confronted the beast.

Stepping into the light, the beast’s animalistic features finally came into view. The boy gasped and took a step back.

“What–” he seemed to choke on his words, “what are you?”

The beast scowled, a growl building up in his throat. Brooke began pleading once more.

“Please Jake, please go! Tell Chloe I’ll be fine. You need to get out of here!”

Jake was already shaking his head. “No, no, you’re my sister- I can’t leave you here, not with him!” He spat angrily, glaring in the beast’s direction.

“You can and you will.” The beast spoke, the anger in his voice seeming to echo around the dark chamber. “This woman is a thief. She’ll pay for her crimes.”

“You have no right!” Jake cried. “She has a family. A wife!”

The beast took another step forward, his movements predatory. “She will never leave.” Another step, close enough that Jake could count the individual hairs on the monster’s mane. His entire body screamed at him to run.

“Unless… you would be willing to take her place?”

  Jake felt something tap him on the forehead. He groaned, eyes fluttering open to reveal-

A clock?

He sat up in a panic, eyes looking frantically around the cage he seemed to be housed in. Where was he? What had happened?

The events of the night before were slowly entering back into his brain, and he took a heaving breath to try and calm himself. Okay, so he had been taken captive by some raging psychopathic werewolf. That’s fine. Cool.

At least Brooke was safe.

Before the relief of that realization could set in, Jake realized with growing horror that the clock was talking to him.

“- and yeah, Jenna can get a bit bossy, but she’s really cool once you get to know her. She’ll be helping you with all that stuff later. You wanna get going?” The clock raised its eyebrows, waiting for a response.

Jake screamed.

  “So you can all… talk?” Jake asked, eyeing each piece of furniture as if it were about to come to life and attack him. Michael thought he was being a bit overdramatic about the whole thing.

“Most of us, yeah.” Jeremy said. Jake continued to putter around his new quarters, stubbing his toe on a coffee table.

“Oh, sorry! What’s, er- what’s your name?” He asked hesitantly, reaching down to pet the surface. Michael and Jeremy attempted to hold in their snickers, with little success.

“Yeah, that’s-” Jeremy clamped his mouth shut, struggling to control his features.

“That’s just a table, dude.” Michael finished. He bit his lip to hide his grin.

Jake turned away, obviously trying to hide his embarrassment with a cough. The lighthearted moment could only last so long, the reality of the situation hanging over them like a grand piano ready to fall at the slightest breeze. There’s only so much fun one can have when being held against their will.

A knock at the door cut through the atmosphere like a knife. Instantly, the smile that had formed on Jake’s face fell into a heated grimace. He stalked over the door angrily.

“What?” He snapped. Michael and Jeremy winced in unison.

“I request-” Master’s voice came through the door, sounding as though he were gritting his teeth together. “I request that you join me for dinner.”

Michael gave Jeremy a disbelieving look. That had sounded… polite? Jeremy raised his eyebrows, silently agreeing. When Jake didn’t respond, Christine’s light voice could be heard through the door, encouraging the beast to try again.

The knocking was louder this time, and Jake jumped at the noise.

“I’d rather starve!” He snarled, seemingly scared into action. The beast’s irritated yell seemed to shake the walls.

“Then so you will!” His voice growled, low and menacing, before he marched away. Jake’s shoulders slumped in the silence that followed

  While everyone cheered, Michael turned away. He couldn’t stand to look at the happy couple any longer.

Every day they grew closer was one day closer to the spell being broken. The thought made Michael’s insides freeze. When Jeremy came over to hug him, he hugged back absently.

Even Jeremy’s flames couldn’t warm up the cold chill that was filling Michael’s mind, spreading throughout his metal interworkings.

  Michael was pathetic.

Selfish, stupid, pathetic.

He had written the note the previous night (it had taken him hours with his oddly formed limbs) and managed to steal the key from the prince’s chambers. Now, walking down the hall toward Jake’s room, the weight of the items in his chest compartment seemed too heavy to carry. He sat down with his head in his hands.

Could he do it?

He was crying before he realized, and he wiped them away hastily. No, he couldn’t cry, not now. Right now he had a job to do.

He tried to stand, but found that his wooden legs refused to move. He crumpled back in defeat, sobs coming freely no matter how hard he tried to keep them at bay.

“Michael?” A small voice asked, causing the clock to jump. Jeremy stood at the end of the hall, making his way toward him. Panic began to set in as Michael tried to calm his breathing.

“Yeah, Jer?” His voice wobbled, and he bit his lip as another sob worked its way up his throat. The candlestick sat down beside him, flames giving off just enough warmth to send a shiver down Michael’s back.

They sat there for a long time in silence. Even after Michael had slowed his breathing, they sat there.

Eventually Jeremy shifted, catching Michael’s gaze.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Michael had to turn away. How could he tell him? The letter and key felt like they were burning his insides, ready to catch him ablaze.

“Its nothing, I’m just…” Pathetic. Stupid. Selfish.

“Hey, hey, its okay.” Jeremy scooted closer. Michael wanted to pull back from the heat, but found that he couldn’t. Jeremy’s flames never gave off much warmth, but now if felt overwhelming, like it would consume him. He took a deep breath and tried to smile.

“Thanks buddy. I’m just having a bad night.” It was a lame excuse, but Jeremy took it in stride, offering a small smile of his own.

“Just think,” he whispered conspiratorially, “down this hall, there’s a boy who might solve all our problems. He falls in love with the prince, we get to go back to the way we were before. You’ll get your body back! We’ll get our memories back! We’ll get to leave this god awful place.”

Jeremy meant well, but the reminder of what Michael had almost done left shame churning in his cogs. God, he had almost-

“That’s great.” Michael choked out, before his thoughts could overtake him. “You’re right, thank you.”

“Anytime, Michael. I’ve always got your back.” And then he gave him a soft smile, beautiful and small in the dim light. Michael wanted to kiss him – but this wasn’t the moment. Not now, when Michael wanted nothing more than to throw himself from the highest pitch of the castle. He swallowed past the urge and returned the smile with one of his own.

It would have to be enough, for now.

  When Michael returned back to their special spot, he felt his breath catch in his throat.

Jeremy stood in the center of the courtyard, staring down at an all too familiar letter. The key was still attached, mocking him even from this distance.

Contemplating his options, Michael almost turned and ran. Anything would have been preferable to this conversation. Jeremy had tears in his eyes when he eventually looked up.

“How…” He seemed lost, his eyes wide and sad. “What is this?”

Michael didn’t know if he could speak past the cog in his throat – the overwhelming shame that was brewing in his chest.

“I-” he choked on whatever words would have come next, his vision already blurring with unshed tears. Jeremy was never meant to know. Jeremy wasn’t supposed to ever know.

But here he was, looking at the letter Michael had spent hours writing. A letter that he never delivered, but wanted to, so badly he had wanted to.

“Dear Jake,” Jeremy began reading.

“Jeremy wait-” Michael lurched forward to snatch the paper away, but the candlestick stopped him with a cool glare. He withered under the gaze, drawing back a few steps.

“I know this hasn’t been fair to you,” he continued to read, voice tense, “and that you miss your family. No one deserves to be a prisoner against their will. I’ve provided you with a key if you wish to escape back to your life. It opens the door to the servant’s quarters on the lower level, which will lead to a side entrance. From there, you can follow a path back to the main road, where you will hopefully be able to make your way back home.”

The silence that followed was almost unbearable.

“I can explain-” Michael began, but Jeremy cut him off.

“Why?”

And Michael didn’t know how to answer. The flames on Jeremy’s head grew as anger began to take over.

“Why would you- you realize what this would have done right?!” His voice grew louder with each word. “What is wrong with you? If you had-” Jeremy shook his head, laughing slightly in angered disbelief. “What would we have done if Jake ran away? He’s our last hope to break the spell!”

Michael opened his mouth, but Jeremy wasn’t done.

“Shut up, just shut up. Seriously. Do you not want us to get better?”

He couldn’t help it. Michael looked away, unable to meet Jeremy’s gaze. That was answer enough.

“Holy shit.” Jeremy whispered, taking an involuntary step back. “You… you really don’t want us to change back? You were ready to condemn the rest of us to this fucking nightmare?”

The betrayal on his face made Michael want to throw up.

“I didn’t do it.” He blurted out, taking a step toward his friend. He needed Jeremy to stop looking at him like that. He couldn’t breathe.

“But you wanted to! Why? Why do you hate us all so much that you would even think about doing this?” In his anger, Jeremy struck out his arm, catching the note on fire in the process. Michael watched it burn, something sick twisting and building in his stomach, bubbling up his throat and desperate to break free.

“I didn’t want to lose you!” he let out, tears breaking free. Everything seemed to stop around them. “I can’t- I’m scared! Of what lies on the other side. We don’t remember what life was like before. Please, Jer, please, I didn’t do it- I couldn’t-”

He had more things to say, more things that Jeremy needed to know, but he couldn’t speak – words were clogging up his throat, making it impossible to breathe. His vision was going fuzzy and Jeremy wasn’t saying anything and hot tears were dripping from his cheeks.

“I need some time to think about this.” Jeremy finally muttered, the anger from before seemingly drained from his system. He paused beside Michael, as if he were about to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, before shaking himself and continuing back toward the castle.

In the bone crushing silence that remained, Michael grabbed the key and threw it into the wilderness.

It wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy the empty space growing in his chest.

  When the group finally reached Jake’s bedroom, cake in hand, they opened the door to find the prince sitting alone, staring out the window at the moon.

“Rich!” Christine chirped happily. “Where’s Jake? We’ve got a surprise for him!”

Rich turned slowly, looking more like a beast than he had since Jake’s arrival. Michael took a step back, feeling afraid of the prince for the first time in a long time.

“He’s gone.”

Jake was gone.

“Did you do this?” Jeremy asked incredulously, turning to Michael with anger and suspicion.

“What?” Michael choked, eyes wide. “No! No, I swear it wasn’t me, I-”

“It was me.” Rich said in a low voice. Everyone turned to look at him, but he was looking away. “I sent him home. It wasn’t going to work.”

“You didn’t know that! He was starting to like you, he-!” Jeremy was cut off by a deep growl. Rich left without another word, storming past them and shoving Jenna aside in the process.

The charmed objects sat in silence. They’re last hope at humanity had just fled into the night, and the only person who could have gotten him back was off sulking in the west wing, licking his metaphorical wounds.

“Well shit.” Christine said, and everyone couldn’t help but agree.

[lohstandfound]

wait sorry can you answer this anon ask instead. richjake + 11 <3

This is so much more than I expected to write, oh my god. It feels a little jumbled, I have not proofread this, it is 3.30am and I am tired. But here we go

11- things you said when you were drunk

Rich was never one for alcohol. He had his reasons. Bottles that littered the living room. The voice in his head persuading him not to. He was always vague when giving his reasoning, and no one really pushed back.

He had that sort of reputation.

But sometimes, sometimes he'd find himself sitting on the floor in Jake's bedroom with a bottle in hand.

(Something stolen from the locked liquor cabinet).

(Is it really stolen if the original owners never came back?)

Rich wasn't a big drinker. One or two, enough to shut the voice up for a while. Enough to leave his mind quiet for a moment. Never drunk enough to lose himself.

(Had he already lost himself? Was cruelty something he wanted to cling to? It was a nice defense mechanism. But was he cruel? That's how everyone saw him, that's what he had to be to keep everything he had built for himself).

(Did he really do this all by himself? Was it all him when he was following orders from the supercomputer in his head and using Jake's status as a way to pull himself to the top?)

Maybe the overthinking was another reason he didn't drink. Without the extra voice in his head, it was way too quiet. And he was left to his own thoughts.

Jake on the other hand, had just finished his... He didn't know. Or care. He'd finished another bottle, that's all he really cared about. It was just a distraction. Something to occupy his mind. He couldn't stand an empty, quiet house.

His room was his only sanctuary in this house, it was the only part that was really his. Everywhere else, he felt like he was a stranger. Like he wasn't supposed to be walking down the hallway, making breakfast in the kitchen, doing homework in the living room.

Anyway, all this to say Rich was only just starting his second drink and Jake was well on his way to being drunk.

Rich sat on the floor, his back against the wall and an arm resting on the case of beer. Jake had laid back on the floor after discarding his empty bottle. The sun was setting, and Jake was glowing in the last remaining rays of sunlight.

Rich's cheeks went red as he realised he was staring, his mind drifting to thoughts his SQUIP would certainly not allow. If Jake asked, he could probably pass off the redness for the alcohol. It was summer, Rich could also blame it on the heat. But Jake would be far too wasted to even care.

He looked away from Jake, gazing around his room. The walls filled with awards and trophies and medals, constant reminders of who Jake was supposed to be.

(And, in a few months time, Jake won't be sad to see it all crumble around him. If anything, he would be free).

Rich only turned his attention back to Jake when he heard him let out a breathy laugh.

He raised an eyebrow, putting down the bottle he had barely touched. "What're you thinking about?"

Jake let out a lazy hum before he pushed himself up. For a moment, all Rich could see was a shadow with the last golden rays shining behind him. Rich didn't need to see clearly to know that Jake had that dopey grin on his face. The same look he always had before he told a bad joke, cheesy pick up line, or some utterly stupid phrase that he knows will start an argument.

(The week prior he had a debate with Brooke on the status of centaurs and gryphons. Did centaurs count as insects? Were gryphons birds or mammals? It lasted until Chloe told them to shut up).

"You," Jake said.

Rich blinked for a moment.

"Me?"

"Unless you're telling me you're not my Richard Goranski sitting in my room."

My Richard Goranski.

Rich tried not to blush harder and looked away again. "What's your point, man?"

Jake hummed again before crawling over to Rich to steal another beer from the case. "I've been thinkin' a lot lately. 'bout you."

Rich looked back at Jake, only to see that he was suddenly a lot closer than before. And he could swear his face was getting much more red at such close proximity. Jake still wore that stupid look on his face.

"Isn't that crazy? Been thinking about you a lot in ways that I shouldn't."

Rich frowned. "How do you mean?"

Jake looked at Rich for a moment. "I wanna kiss you."

Rich, mid-sip, almost spat out his drink. Out of anything Jake could have possibly said, those were not the words that he was expecting to come out of his mouth. Rich didn't know what he had expected, something goofy or stupid. Not... Not vulnerable. Not this.

(Did his SQUIP know?)

"What-"

Jake immediately looked away, the grin fading from his face as he fumbled with the beer case. Rich noticed how he seemed to deflate. Jake always guarded his emotions. No one else was allowed to see what he was thinking or feeling.

Apart from Rich.

Jake didn't know what it was, but he always seemed to know exactly what he was thinking or feeling. Maybe that's why he always felt so compelled by Rich. Rich, who knew him better than anyone.

The same Rich who strode up to him, shamelessly, and almost demanded to be his friend. The same Rich who made him want to hang onto every single word he said. The same Rich who had him wrapped around his finger and they both knew it, but Jake couldn't help himself.

(Rich wouldn't admit it, not until much later, that it was the SQUIP who helped him with these things. That prompted the right thing to say, the right way to act. The thing that helped him see the subtle change in Jake's demeanour).

(It was something that he had picked up, with the amount of times his SQUIP pointed out any minor change in the way Jake spoke or the way he carried himself. Something he could still notice now without the voice prompting him, telling him that almost spitting his drink out was the wrong response).

(He had no idea what the right one was).

"Nah, nah. See- I told you. It's crazy. I'm not- I'm not s'ppsed to, y'know? We're not- You're probably not-"

Jake stopped when Rich held his wrist. The touch felt electric. In his hazy mind, that was the only thing he could focus on. Rich was the only thing he could focus on- the only thing worth focusing on.

Rich didn't know what to say. The voice in his head wasn't active. It would be a while before it would show up again. It would review this interaction and tell him all the ways he fucked up, how he should have done it. It would review this interaction between him and Jake and then adjust how it was going to do things. Would it keep Jake close? Would it push him away? Would it separate them? The amount of things his SQUIP could hold over Jake's head to make him behave. Rich didn't want to be that person, but the SQUIP would make those words come out of his mouth if it had to.

But right now, Rich's mind was his, and his alone. No extra voice guiding him through this conversation. One wrong thing and Jake would close himself off for the rest of the night. Jake would refuse to speak, so Rich would retreat to the spare room down the hall. The one that had all his stuff in it. He would lie in bed and think and think and think and worry and think.

"You're not supposed to be anything..."

Jake's eyebrows furrowed. That went against everything that he had ever been told about his life- a life that didn't even feel like his own. He was just there, doing what he was told his purpose was.

He stared at Rich for a moment. The way his curls fell over his eyes, the bright red streak in his hair, (Jake loved the colour red). The freckles that dusted Rich's skin, (if he was focused enough, he could make constellations on his skin, his own galaxy to chart and memorise), those green eyes staring into his own.

Jake's eyes flicked down to Rich's lips. He felt stuck, frozen. He couldn't move until Rich gave him permission. Until Rich let go of his arm or pushed him away or pulled him closer. Until Rich did anything other than search his face for who knows what.

"I really want to kiss you..." Jake said softly. "Is that so crazy? Is that so wild? I shouldn't- I can't- but god... God, I want to kiss you so bad..."

Rich searched Jake's eyes for a moment. They were close, so close. Rich could smell the alcohol on his breath. He could give in, and he wanted to. He really wanted to.

He didn't want to string Jake along more than he had to.

Rich let go of Jake's arm and pushed himself up. "It's getting dark... You're wasted, man..." He carefully moved around Jake, who was still frozen. "I'll see you in the morning."

He watched Jake for a moment before he walked out of the room.

"Right..." Jake said softly. "Crazy... I'm crazy..."

(ao3 link)

[actual-cryptid-leshy]

They might be Crazy

Prologue to my fic They is my Family

or

how Jeremy met his new family

Word count: 3.9K

Read on AO3

At the end of the street, there’s a path that continues into the woods. It’s always been like that, but no one has ever walked in, or out, of those woods. Not in all the years Michaels family has been living on that street. The neighborhood kids dare each other to go as close to the woods edge as they can, before they eventually turn tail and run back. Shrieking in childish joy, terror barely hidden by wide smiles and laughter. They only play this game when they sun is out. Christine stays as far away from it as she can, at all times. ‘’The woods are deep and dark, a treacherous place, and those who go in are sure to loose their way.’’ That’s what all the grown ups say. Those exact words, like a mantra, passed down from generation to generation. No one goes into the woods. Those dark and unnaturally quiet woods.

‘’I just don’t like it, it feels…cold. Like there’s something waiting in the shadows.’’ Christine whispers from the safety of her blanket. She’s six and it’s the safest place she knows after her mothers bed. The clock creeps ever closer to midnight, heralding the end of October 30th and the beginning of October 31st. She’s wearing her mothers witch hat, pointed and bright autumn orange, made of thick felt, sigils stitched with maroon threads into the brim. It hums with the warmth of a fireplace. ‘’I’ve never felt anything more than a shiver when I get too close to the barrier.’’ Chloe says, nose a little turned up and her own borrowed hat, a lovely pastel purple with precious gems fastened to the hat band, slides further off her small head. The star shaped crystal tied to the end gives a ding as it swings. ‘’Yeah, but Christines mom is a forest witch, it makes sense if Christine senses more from the forest than you do.’’ Jenna points out, not unkindly, but wanting to end the building discussion of wether the old fashioned witches are stronger than the new age ones are. Chloe huffs, but lets it go. Her quarrel isn’t with Christine anyways. Christine doesn’t rub it in peoples faces that her connection to Magic is stronger than others, she’s quite humble about it. And not even humble in a way that pisses Chloe off. Not like Madeline. ‘’I feel it too, like there’s…something behind the barrier.’’ Brooke adds, twirling a strand of her long blonde hair around her finger. Her hat is pure white, even if she’d wanted to borrow the pink one, but the white one is nice too. It doesn’t have a pointy end, instead it curls in on itself in a spiral, long thin silver chains tinkling like bells every time she turns her head. ‘’I’m so glad I’m not a witch, getting the creepy crawlies every time I passed by something magic would freak me out.’’ Rich says. He’s wearing a cape, not because he has to, not for the tradition of it, but because he likes the way it flares out when he runs. ‘’I think you’d be used to it.’’ Michael reasons. He’s wearing his mothers hat as well, though no magic flows trough his veins, but it’s nice to be a part of the tradition anyway. It’s a lovely dark midnight blue, made of sheer fabric and bewitched to twinkle like the night sky. He looks over at Christine and she opens her mouth to say something, but is interrupted by Jake barging into the living room where they’ve piled all the mattresses and blankets and pillows in the house. ‘’It’s starting!’’ he yells, rushing over to the veranda doors, pressing his face against the glass. Like Michael, Jakes mother is a witch, but he has no magic of his own. Sure the two of them are connected to the Magic that runs trough the world, but they have no influence over it. Jakes hat is as black as the cat that follows him around. The other kids gather at the glass door to watch as midnight strikes and the night sky lights up.

‘’There’s something in the woods.’’ Christine says, eleven years old but no less childish. Most of the time. Usually such a comment wouldn’t be too out of place, she’ll usually mention that she feels like they’re being watched, or feels the presence of something, but this time. This time it’s something else. This time it’s…more certain. The way she says it, with a blank face, an unblinking stare, and a monotonous voice. So unlike who she is, fundamentally, has the rest of the kids on edge immediately. She’s staring down the road, down towards the dark path into the forest. The path looks well trodden, open, even though they’ve never seen anyone walk there. Even though the path is shrouded in darkness no matter what time of day it is. A scream pierces trough the air. ‘’What was that?’’ Rich asks in a panic, clutching the basketball he’s holding to his chest. They all turn to the forest. ‘’Did someone go in there?’’ Jenna wonders out loud. There’s another scream, a kid, and suddenly the trees are rustling. There are sounds of running from within the forest, a branch snaps. ‘’Come on!’’ Jake shouts, and takes off towards the path. The others follow, Rich without hesitation, Chloe and Brooke with a bit more hesitation, but as they go to follow so does Jenna. Michael watches them go for a second, glances at Christine. She looks frozen in place. Another scream. She jolts, as if shocked, and she grabs his hand. He pulls her along towards the edge of the woods. Jake has stooped at the very edge, where asphalt gives way to soft dirt and grass. The barrier. ‘’Stick together.’’ he says, and sets his foot down on that undisturbed earth. Richs’ hand shoots out to grab onto Jakes shirt as he follows after him. Brooke situates herself in between Chloe and Jenna, and then they step over the line as well. It doesn’t take long for them to almost disappear in the dark. Michael still has a hold of Christine, and he moves towards the woods too. ‘’I can’t.’’ Christine says. Michael looks back at her. She’s pale, a sickly pale, the usual glow of her skin dulled, her bright eyes no longer shining. He lets go of her hand. ‘’Wait for us here, get your mom if we don’t come back soon.’’ he tells her, and heads into the forest alone. Only a few meters in, he turns back, but he can no longer see the road. ‘’Christine?’’ he says out loud, raising his voice to what he believes would be a volume she’d hear. He gets no response. He stops breathing, tries to listen to the sounds of the others, of anything, and instead finds a deafening silence. So heavy it feels suffocating. ‘’Jake!?’’ he shouts in the other direction, or he thinks that’s the direction deeper into the forest. He just can’t tell anymore. ‘’Rich!’’ he tries next, a desperate edge creeping into his tone. ‘’BROOKE! CHLOE! JENNA!’’ he shouts at the top of his lungs, but it’s like the trees swallow his cries. As if the silence blanketing this forest is a physical thing, eating up any and all sound. Michael swallows down the raising panic and keeps going. Stepping over roots and ducking under branches, he tries to be as quiet as possible, feeling out of place and clumsy in such a still environment. He keeps glancing back over his shoulder, not being able to shake the feeling that he’s being watched. As he turns back around he comes face to face with a pair of glowing green eyes. ‘’ARGH!’’ he shouts, taking a quick step backwards and tripping on a protruding root. He scrambles backwards a little further, heart pounding and blood rushing, breathing heavy. The eyes are gone. Michael can feel the roots digging into his back. ‘’What are you doing here?’’ a voice asks from his left. He whips his head around, but sees nothing besides the endless expanse of forest floor and tree trunks that seem to go on forever. ‘’I-uh-I he-heard a scream? I mean, my friends, and I did.’’ he manages to choke out. His moms did teach him to be civil after all. Even when facing the unknown, it would seem. He’s pretty sure they’d be pissed knowing what he’s doing. Talking. Instead of running. Genius move, Mell. He hears the crack of a branch to his right, and a small figure steps out. It’s a boy, about Michaels age he’d guess. He’s dressed in something green and shaggy, his eyes are still glowing, and there are two horns protruding from his mess of brown curls. ‘’You should leave.’’ he says, but Michael is pretty sure he didn’t see his mouth move. Also the voice is still definitely coming from his left. He might be going a bit crazy. ‘’Were you the one screaming?’’ he asks instead, because Michael Mell has a death wish apparently. As soon as he’s said it out loud he wants to hit himself over the head. The boy before him only tilts his head to the side, as if Michael is something curious, something he’s never seen before. The rustling of leaves brings the boys attention back to his surroundings. ‘’You need to leave.’’ he tells Michael again, more urgent. This time his mouth moves, and Michael’s pretty sure he saw fangs so like yeah. There’s that. ‘’I need to find my friends.’’ he says instead of agreeing like he should be. The boy looks at him again, and it might just be a trick of the (lack of) light, but Michael could swear he saw him smile. He reaches out a hand. A clawed hand. Michael stares at it for a second, the forest rustles ominously, and he takes it without further hesitation. The boy leads him five steps back the way he came from, and there’s Jake and Rich. ‘’Michael?’’ Jake asks, but he doesn’t have time to say anything else as the strange kid interrupts him, ‘’Grab his hand.’’ he instructs Michael, and Michael doesn’t hesitate this time. His hand grabs onto Jake like a vice, and then they start walking again. ‘’What’s g-‘’ Rich tries to ask, but is cut off as the next few steps are taken, as the trees seem to blur together, shift. Michael can see Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna. ‘’Grab them.’’ the boy says, and as they pass by the girls, Rich takes Jennas hand. ‘’Don’t let go.’’ he tells her, and she squeezes his hand. The chain of kids make their way trough the forest. Michael was sure he hadn’t walked this far in, then again…magical forest. ‘’The way out is up ahead, I’ll hold it open.’’ the boy says, gesturing towards another seemingly endless expanse of woods. ‘’Are you for real?’’ Rich asks, and the boy simply raises an eyebrow at him. The forest gives another rustle, and the boys head snaps back and forth. ‘’Leave. Now.’’ he says, voice again coming from nowhere near where it should be coming from. Eyes glowing a dull and unnatural green. ‘’Okay yup leaving.’’ Michael says, letting go of his hand and tugging Jake and the rest of the chain in the direction the boy had indicated. The trees blend together as they race trough the forest, branches seemingly bending out of their way to let them pass. The trail ahead of them is still endlessly dark, but then they burst trough, and they’re standing on the asphalt again. At the end of the road where their street gives way to the forest. Christine is still standing there, as pale as Michael had left her. ‘’What’s wrong? Why’d you come back so soon?’’ she asks them, and Michael has the odd urge to laugh like a maniac. ‘’We were in there for like an hour!’’ Rich yells, gripping his hair as Jake nods frantically. ‘’I thought it was closer to half an hour?’’ Brooke asks, looking to Chloe and Jenna for confirmation. They both nod in agreement. Michael feels like he’s going crazy. Again. ‘’I was in there for like five minutes tops.’’ he says, staring at his friends. They collectively turn to stare at the forest, and the gaping entrance seems more threatening than ever. ‘’Let’s…go.’’ Christine says. No one argues. They don’t tell anyone. Because they were doing something they weren't supposed to be doing. They don’t talk about it, because talking about it means thinking about it, and that’s just plain scary. Michael thinks about the boy, though. Because he’s the only one of them who really saw him, who remembers what he looked like. And he goes looking for clues.

Michael is fourteen and brimming with the kind of bravery only young foolish kids have. Over the past years the strange meeting has faded from their minds. All the research Michael had done relocated to a shoebox under his bed. The forest isn’t as dangerous as it was back then. Their memories are dulled, and they chalk the scary nature of the forest up to their over imaginative young minds. The end of the road has once again transformed into the playground it once was. But they don’t stray over the barrier. ‘’He shoots!’’ Jake yells, kicking the ball towards the two rocks they’ve placed on one side of the road, acting as a goal. Christine tries to stop it, but it sails past her. ‘’He scores!’’ Jake shouts as the ball passes between the two rocks. Brooke cheers from where she’s standing in the other goal. Rich throws his hands up in the air, exasperated. ‘’Damnit!’’ he yells, Chloe shoots him a look. ‘’Language.’’ she says, in an eerily spot on impression of her mother. The soccer ball bounces against the curb, and starts rolling. ‘’You sound like your mom.’’ Rich tells her, sticking his tongue out. Chloe's frown deepens. ‘’I do not!’’ she shoots back, indignantly. ‘’Do too!’’ Rich replies. ‘’Do not!’’ Chloe says, getting up from where she had been sitting at the curb with Jenna. Michael glances up from his DS, rolling his eyes. He catches sight of the ball. ‘’Uh…guys?’’ he says. No one notices. ‘’Do too!’’ Rich yells. ‘’Do not!’’ Chloe yells back. ‘’GUYS!’’ Michael yells, drowning out the both of them. He points to the end of the road, where the ball has just disappeared across the barrier. ‘’Aw man.’’ Jake sighs, ‘’That was my good one, too.’’ he laments. ‘’I’ll go get mine.’’ Rich says, only to be cut off by the sound of the ball bouncing on the asphalt. It comes to a halt at his feet. They look to the forest and see…nothing. Nothing but darkness and trees and…a green glow? Something in Michaels head clicks, and he gets up. ‘H-hey! You’re that kid!’’ he says. The green glow starts fading. ‘’Wait wait, don’t go! You helped us out when we got lost in the forest, we’re not gonna do anything.’’ he says, taking a couple of steps towards the forest. The glow brightens just a little. ‘’We never knew what happened to you, are you alright?’’ Michael asks, moving as if to take yet another step, but he stops when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He glances back, and sees Christine holding onto him. She’s pale, but her face is determined. She’s got his back. He nods. When he turns his eyes back to the forest, the green glow is gone, but then a shadow falls away as if someone closed an invisible umbrella. And there’s the boy. Michael notes that even though he now has about half a head of height on the mysterious kid, he’s no less intimidated. There’s a scar on his arm. It looks old. Healed. ‘’I’m…fine.’’ the kid says. His mouth moves, Michael is glad to note. ‘’What’s your name?’’ Michael asks next, because he’s wanted to know for so long. The boy pauses, green eyes flicking away and back again, a tail swishing behind him in contemplation. The movement of the appendage catches Michaels eye, as he hadn’t noticed it the last time. ‘’…Jeremy.’’ the boy says eventually. ‘’Hi Jeremy. I’m Michael.’’ he introduces himself. Then he steps a little to the side so Christine comes more into view. ‘’This is Christine.’’ he says. She raises a hand hesitantly, gives a little wave. When Jeremy mimics the movement, a small smile blossoms on her face. ‘’That’s Jake and Rich.’’ Michael says next, pointing to the two boys in turn. Jeremy waves again, and the two wave back. ‘’And that’s Chloe, Brooke, aaaand Jenna.’’ he says as he points them out to him. Jeremy waves to them too, a little more sure in the movement now. Brooke smiles brightly at him. ‘’Yeah hi.’’ Chloe says, as Rich elbows her a little. ‘’Wanna play with us? We’re never enough for even teams.’’ Rich says, holding the ball out in front of him. Jeremy glances around, as if to make sure the coast is clear, before stepping properly out not the light. Michael had not remembered him right. Not only has time faded the emory of the strange kid that helped them, time has also changed him. His hair is longer, curlier, his horns larger. Twisting around themselves into sharp points that face straight upwards. They’re a dark brown, almost black. His clothes looks like a tunic made of dark green moss, a eater belt tied around his waist. His legs are furry, cloven, and a long tail follows him as he steps out of the foliage. His eyes are no longer glowing, or it might just be they don’t show up in daylight. But they’re still very green. Michael is at a loss for words for a moment, before Christine breaks the silence. ‘’Do you know how to play?’’ she asks Jeremy. He shakes his head no. Christine steps forward and grabs on of his clawed hands. ‘’We’ll teach you then!’’ she says, brightly. All hesitance gone. She looks more at ease than Michael has ever seen her this close tot he forest.

They’re all closing in on sixteen when Jeremy finally tells them about the first time they met. It’s evening, the sun setting over the forest, painting the sky a violent red, and casting the trees in muted shades of grey. ‘’There were hunters in my forest, that day.’’ he tells them, arms wound tight around himself. Legs drawn in close as he sits on the grass next to the asphalt. They’re all gathered close around him on that patch of grass. Unafraid now of the other side of the barrier, as long as he is with them. ‘’My dad brought me here when I was young, he told me we were chased out of our old home, out territory, our forest. My mom died when we fled. Then we settled here, drawn in by the Magic people close by. It seemed quiet, safe. Then someone got wind of the rumors, and came to see for themselves. And they found us.’’ His eyes are closed, his face turned down, his mouth non moving. It sounds like he’s whispering, even though they can all hear him loud and clear. ‘’I was running away, trying to hide when I found you. And you all looked tiny and frail, so I couldn’t leave you alone.’’ he tells them, a small smile twisting one side of his lips up into a sad smile. ‘’They killed my dad, but didn’t know i was there. So they left. And I was alone.’’ he finishes. They’re all quiet for a moment, taking it in. ‘’Is that why you approached us?’’ Jenna asks, breaking the fragile silence. Jeremy snaps his gaze to her, his face bathed in the familiar green glow. He raise an eyebrow. ‘’Did you feel lonely?’’ she asks him, trying to clarify. He turns his head away form them all, but nods anyway. ‘’It had always been me and my dad. The forest didn’t seem so large back then, because dad was always larger. But then he was gone, and home was so empty. And then I saw you one day. And then I kept coming back. And then one day you saw me too.’’ he turns back to them, smiles. Michael reaches over to lay his arm across Jeremys shoulders. ‘’And now we’re not going anywhere.’’ he reassures him. Jeremy grins, showing off rows of pointy teeth.

Michael is a measly month away from turning eighteen, and he’s brimming with the sort of confidence only stupid teenagers have. He’s standing in front of the edge of the forest. The beginning of the trail. The barrier. Their usual meeting place. Jeremy had once told them he heard everything that was said into the forest, even if they only whispered. ‘’Jeremy.’’ Michael says. Calls. It’s a familiar name, one that rolls easily off of his tongue. There’s a silent wind that rustles trough the branches, and once the shadow lifts he can see Jeremy standing there. Still half a head shorter than him, still curly brown hair. Still glowing green eyes. It’s a familiar sight Michael takes great comfort in. He summons all his courage, feels his heart quiver in his chest. Listens to the beating of it in his ears, like the rapid wings of a nervous bird. Michael holds one fist out, grip tight around the object inside and obscuring it from view. Jeremy can already tell what it is though. ‘’This belonged to my mom, but she gave it to me. So it’s mine. She said I could do whatever I wanted with it, and I’m giving it to you. I know who you are, and I want to be your friend. Here.’’ he thrusts his fist out, it’s shaking slightly. His shoulders are tense and he’s having a hard time meeting Jeremys eyes. ‘’Come with us.’’ Michael pleads. Jeremy reaches out his own hand, out from the edge of the forest, out into the sunlight, into Michaels world. His claws fall away, and a pale smooth hand touches Michaels still closed tight fist. Michael startles a little, his eyes snapping to Jeremy. Jeremy takes a breath, and then steps out onto the asphalt. His green eyes melt away into baby blue, his horns are there one moment and gone the next. When he smiles his teeth are straight, human looking. There’s no tail swaying behind him in bemusement, like his quirked eyebrow says there should be. It’s so normal that it’s weird. Michaels hand goes slack, and he drops the golden chain into Jeremys waiting hand. He feels it then, the rush of the bond, the solidifying pact. Jeremy undoes the clasp and brings it up to put it on. It’s a simple gold chain, with a small golden cross hanging from it. Nothing fancy, nothing too valuable. But it belonged to Michael, and now it belongs to Jeremy, and that’s what makes it powerful. When Jeremy drops his hands back to his sides Michael takes the last step to bring them face to face. He hovers in front of Jeremy, lips almost touching his. ‘’Say you’ll come with us.’’ Michael pleads again. ‘’I will.’’ Jeremy replies, closing his eyes as he leans in, kissing Michael like he has done many times before.

[alphabetatoes]

Random DEH/BMC Headcanons

(a.n.: so this is a crossover & complete trash ? bc I want all my children to be friends)

- Jared is 100% that kid to request Baby by Justin Bieber at every school dance Homecoming? Baby. Winter Formal? Baby. Prom? BaBY.

- Jenna most definitely uses her widespread knowledge about anyone and everyone to help out her friends. Alana wants to get into Harvard? Jenna finds a way to assure Alana’s acceptance. A++ friend, 10/10 would recommend

- Brooke and Chloe have a collection of Pinkberry punch cards that they’re saving up to put in a shadow box (fight me on this)

- July 11th is a religious holiday for Michael, due to it being free slushie day at 7/11

- Alana & Jared are Valedictorian and Salutatorian respectively (Jared ends his speech with a failed bottle flip which may or may not have happened at my high schools graduation last year)

- Christine, Alana, & Zoe are all really good & supportive best friends?? Like when Christine needs to practice for a musical, Alana arranges the music so Zoe can play it on the guitar to help her practice ??

- we all know connor & michael would get high™ together, but what about Connor & Jake? An interesting combo with especially interesting convos - evan teaches rich the joys of tree climbing (and gets him one of those kiddie ladders to help him climb) *cue a whole new world playing*

- imaGINE EVAN GETTING A SQUIP

- tbh Jeremy & Evan seem like they could be really good friends ?? idk

- fin

[gwenariano-blog]

Dance Moms S1e06

DANCE MOMS SEASON ONE

Episode 6 @starpower regionals  providence, rhode island  filmed may20-22 2011

Group:  WHERE HAVE ALL THE CHILDREN GONE (Contemporary) 1st (8 & under) 1st (11 & under) 5 Stars

Brooke:  SUPERMODEL (Acro) 6th(12-14), Highest Scoring Acro Solo, 5 Stars

Chloe:  PAR LES MOI (Musical Theatre) 5 Stars

Chloe:  BABY MINE (Musical Theatre)(not shown) 2nd (9-11), 5 Stars, Highest Scoring Musical Theatre Solo

Maddie:  BEAUTIFUL (Lyrical) 1st (9-11), 5 Stars, Highest Scoring Lyrical Solo

Maddie:  CRY (Lyrical)(not shown) 5 Stars

Group:  MY PUMPS (Jazz Funk)(not shown) 1st (9-11), 3rd (11 & Under), Entertainment Award, 5 Stars

Vivi-Anne,Mackenzie:  RUNAWAY BARBIES (Acro Jazz)(not shown) didn't place

Christi vt- "Chloe deserves a chance to win without the shadow of Maddie hovering over her."

Note: Rehearsal footage for Where Have All The Children Gone switches back and forth from the Dance Moms girls in StudioB to StudioA with the girls plus seven other dancers.

Abby to girls in StudioB- "So you're going to touch somebody's heart. So this has to be a very serious routine. Right now, you're just doing the steps. And we need to get past that, and we need to Perform."

Abby vt- "I want to teach them (the girls) to convey the story with their emotional execution as well as their dance technique."

Holly vt- "I was incredibly frustrated after chalkboard. I want the best for my daughter. I want her to shine and have the same opportunities as the rest of the girls. Once again Nia has been passed over for a solo. And I'm angry, I'm frustrated, and I'm really disappointed. I'm really sick of it."

Abby vt- "All these moms want their kids to be in the spotlight but it's just not that easy. It just doesn't work that way. Not everybody can be in the spotlight. You HAVE to have the talent. And some have it. And some don't."

Holly to Abby- "I want her to feel successful. I want her to feel wanted."

Abby- "I want you in there with her privates lessons, I told you that several weeks ago. It's the ballet technique. It's over and over and over and NIA, come on, wake up, what are you doing?"

Holly vt- "It's frustrating because she doesn't hear me. I feel like I'm not being heard. She just gives me whatever answers that are hollow, they don't have any meaning to me. She's just trying to shut me up."

Abby to Holly- "It's not about how many dances is this kid in, and how much is this person paying, really Holly, that has very little to do with it. (editing shift to different point in conversation) I don't want you coming back in and saying I'm too tough on her. I want her to know- (editing goes to a different section of conversation here) Duet, trio, is it worth doing the, putting the time and energy in an-"

Holly- "Whatever it will take to get to that winning place is exactly what we need."

Abby vt- "Nia's a good dancer. But is she great? Not yet. These moms think that everything should be fair. But it's NOT fair. LIFE isn't fair. Every competition has different rules, different age categories, and I want to put the kids in that are going to WIN."

Abby to Maddie- "Every week you have a new routine. Yes? What do you think the judges are looking for?"

Maddie- "Technique?"

Abby- "Right. And technique means all the hours you spend in ballet class, every plié, every relevé. You need to rely on your technique. Any questions? No? Anything you want to go over? It's good? Okay. (gives Maddie a high-five) See you on stage."

Chloe vt- "I'm doing a new solo this week and it's called Par Les Moi and it's a cute French dance and uses personality and I REALLY like it."

Note: Broadway Baby's debut during Chloe's rehearsal.

Christi vt- "I can't believe Abby bumped Maddie up into Chloe's age category. It's just typical Abby. She can't let Chloe just have her day. She always has to make it about Maddie."

Chloe vt- "I really don't want Maddie bumped up into my age category because I feel like I have a better chance of winning first place if we were in seperate categories."

Note: Abby (from interview)- "To put three girls in against each other is dumb. I'd rather put three girls in three different categories like one in lyrical and one in jazz and one in musical theater. Why put all three of them in jazz when you could win every category?"

Note: Maddie and Chloe are in different categories and NOT competing against each other.

Note: Brooke's costume:

From Abby interview- "We were in the middle of our real lives thinking the show's going to be over and then the next thing you know, "Oh my God. We have six more shows!" Our season was kind of over and we had to scramble for all this. Seamstresses book up very quickly and they can only make so many costumes. We did the best we could. The show must go on."

Cathy vt- "Brooke gets handed her costume. It is probably the ugliest costume I have EVER seen. And all eyes fall on Vivi's top. And all of a sudden Brooke is now wearing Vivi's top."

Note: Abby had Vivi's costume made and paid the three hundred dollars for it.

Christi vt- "Abby should have left Maddie in her own age category because Maddie could have done that category, Chloe could have done this one, Brooke could have done the next one. She moved Maddie up so that she would make sure that Chloe didn't win."

Note: Maddie and Chloe both did two solos each with Maddie in the Lyrical category and Chloe in the Musical Theater category. Maddie didn't place with one, and won with the other. Chloe didn't place with one, and came in second with the other. (see above dances)

Christi vt- "Chloe's constantly being set up to lose. It's not fair."

Chloe vt- "I don't think it's fair that I didn't get first. I lost by half a point."

Note: Cathy having Brooke take Vivi's costume off was (probably) production. Abby has said in interviews that she took over costumes because production tried to lose them 'in transit' and sabotague them (like Brooke's horrid outfit). Abby as of season6B is STILL fighting production over costumes. See Stomp The Yard Costumes: www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRaIvJSjOFg

Brooke vt- "There was so much drama going on backstage that I think it kind of messed up my dance a little bit cause I was so nervous."

Note: When Cathy asks for Vivi's top in the dressing room the next day the girls are dressed for the My Pumps number.

Note: Paige and Nia are in the award line up holding plaques when Where Have All The Children Gone is declared winner.

Abby vt- "There were over 280 acts, and they were FIRST. The highest scoring number in the entire competition."

[actual-cryptid-leshy]

The Anticipation Of Spring

Brooke has been told from a young age that she's an old soul. Old soul. Old eyes. Wise smile. They look at her and see the wisdom that comes with time, but she views time with appreciation. She views life with appreciation, because she knows death more intimately than most.

Word count: 8.8k

Part 2 of Awakenings series

Read on AO3

Brooke has heard that she’s an old soul from a young age. They tell her it’s in her eyes, some sort of unfathomable wisdom and weight only gained by time and experience. She’s only six, and it unsettles her every time some distant family member looks at her for an uncomfortable amount of time, before reaching the conclusion that, ‘’Yes, an old soul, it’s in your eyes.’’ with the same pleasant smiles and nice-but-condescending eyes every single time. As she grows it only keeps unsettling her, it follows her like a shadow. No matter what she does or how she acts, it’s the same. Old soul. Old eyes. Wise smile. All except her grandmother. She looks at Brooke and says, ‘’Oh to be young and carefree.’’ with a friendly smile and warm hugs and a glint in her eye that lets Brooke know she has candy in he pocket that’s specifically for ‘before dinner’. She makes Brooke feel young, feel like herself, like she’s supposed to be. Her grandmother is an earth elemental, the soul of a mountain rests in her bones and she moves slowly, but deliberately. She’s stubborn, but kind. ‘’They look at you and see only the wisdom that comes from time, but you have something so much more special. Appreciation.’’ Brooke doesn’t really understand what she means by that, but it sounds so much nicer than what she’s always hearing form other people, that she doesn’t mind not knowing for now. There’s something in her telling her that she’ll know one day, and that’s good enough for her. For now she’ll just enjoy baking cookies with her Grammy, licking the spoon and sneaking chocolate chips when her mom isn’t looking.

Brooke grows up with her mothers concern over her naivety. Her mother keeps fretting over how nice she is, how kind, how forgiving, how pliant and soft. She’s always scared Brooke will be taken advantage of in some way or another, and she tries to teach Brooke how to tread trough life with caution, with strength. Brooke wants to believe the best of people, wants to believe the best of life. Then the game changes. When the boy, Gabe, in 3rd grade tells her he likes her pigtails and could they be friends maybe? Brooke says yes without hesitation. They play together every day, and they talk about pokemon and cartoons and books and just about anything that strikes their fancy. Then the whispers start. Gabe is a boy, Brooke is a girl. That’s how it works, right? She ignores them, because that’s what she’s always done. It’s not worth her time, what other people say behind her back. She tells herself she doesn’t care even when she does, but it’s so much easier to pretend they say nothing at all. Then Gabe kisses her on the cheek one day. She doesn’t understand. And he says that his parents have been asking if she’s his girlfriend, so is she? She says no, because she doesn’t understand what it means, not yet, but she doesn’t want it anyway. He doesn’t talk to her again. Brooke is cute, that’s no secret, Gabe won’t be the last. Brooke just wants a friend, but most of the girls think she’s weird and they boys don’t want a friend. She hangs around a few of the other girls deemed ‘strange’ and doesn’t mind that she’s always picked amongst the last for teams. No one says any mean things, not yet, because Brooke is nice and no one has a reason to be outright mean. Not yet. It comes gradually instead. As Brooke grows up, she is as cute and nice and friendly as ever. She draws attention from the boys and jealousy from the girls, because that’s the way the world tells them all it should be. The girls start ignoring her, and anyone else soon learn that Brooke is a one way ticket to being an outcast. She tries, oh she tries her best, to make friends. It doesn’t work, and she keeps on pretending it doesn’t bother her.

Brooke is 11 and trying to rebel. She doesn’t want to be old. Don’t get her wrong, being old is cool. It means you’ve lived a long life and done a lot of things and seen a lot of stuff. But she hasn’t done any of that yet. Well, 11 feels like a lot of years, but she has so much more ahead of her, and she feels like she’s missing out on something by being old now. She wants to be young. So that's what she is. She holds onto her stuffed animals, keeps wearing clothes in pastels with cartoon characters on them. Keeps watching the movies she’s always enjoyed, keeps acting…childish. Her mother scolds her, her father looks on in bemusement until her behavior is an inconvenience. When her childish ways are out of place at dinner parties or when they have guests over. The way she asks any other kid there, no matter their age, if they want to play games. The way she keeps messing with her old and won’t sit still and generally ignoring most of the more complicated aspects of etiquette. The thing is that it’s so easy to just not do what everyone else her age are starting to do. The girls are all worrying about their looks and which boy is the cutest and no one has time to play games anymore. She thinks it’s weird, because none of them actually care that much, she can tell, but everyone else is doing it so everyone else does it and so that’s how everyone thinks it’s supposed to be. And it’s so easy to just follow the flow of everyone else. Brooke sees the appeal, but sticks to her rebellious ways. As rebellious as wearing the softest trousers she can find instead of jeans, or how she sticks to light up shoes. Of course there are some who think it’s all stupid, and join her in playing in the sandbox or playing wizards in the forest or pretending to be faeries. Because it’s so much more fun. Because they’re in middle school and the game has changed again and more people are fine with being outcasts, because that’s their lot in life, they’ve come to learn, come to accept. There are still boys, who think being friendly is being something else entirely. Her favorite sweater is a light blue one with Stitch on it, and she wears her pink sneakers every day (they light up when she jumps), she plays in puddles and comes back to class dripping wet, she climbs trees even though she’s not supposed to, and her stuffed bunny is always in her backpack. Because Hopps is soft and light brown and always there for her.

Chloe transfers in at the end of middle school, and the game changes all over again. Because Chloe is very pretty, but she scowls at everyone and doesn’t talk to people and emits an aura of ‘don’t talk to me’. Of course Brooke ignores this. ‘’Hi.’’ is a good place to start with any conversation, Brooke has found, it works this time too, getting the attention of the new girl who has been actively avoiding everyone on her first day. It’s late January, and cold, so Brooke is wearing her favorite hat with kitty ears and a bright yellow scarf. ‘’No.’’ Chloe says, and tries to walk away. Brooke doesn’t reach out, because she doesn’t like it when people do that to her, but she speaks up, ‘’I’m gonna build a snowman, wanna help?’’ she asks. This makes Chloe freeze, she huffs into her own dark blue scarf before turning around half way. ‘’I’m pretty sure you can do that on your own.’’ ‘’Yeah, but the boys always knock down everything I make, so I need someone to stand guard.’’ she explains, shrugging as if it doesn’t bother her, but she doesn’t look Chloe in the eyes when she says it. Keeps them on the fluffy pompom on her head instead. It’s a light brown. ‘’…Alright.’’ Chloe agrees. And then there they are, two 13 year olds playing in the snow. No one dares step close when Chloe glares at any unlucky kid who looks at Brookes growing snow creation the wrong way, and for once Brooke is allowed to finish it in peace. She stands back, admiring the two wonky snowmen she’s made, unwinds her scarf to place it on one of them, and takes her hat off to place it on the other. Chloe looks on with an indifferent face and curious eyes. It’s the beginning of…something. Brooke knows she is using Chloe, in a sense. Utilizing the way she keeps people at bay, and then keep using her as she draws people to her instead of Brooke. People stay away from Chloe the rest of their middle school days, and then as she gets older and prettier and even more unattainable, the guys flock to her in high school. Brooke is comfortable in Chloes shadow. Drawing people away from her, drawing boys away from her. That isn’t to say that Brooke doesn’t genuinely like Chloe, she’s a good friend, a great friend, the kind of friend she buys a BFF necklace with. The kind of friend who keeps that necklace well after they’ve grown out of things like that. But she’s still to some extent using Chloe. She follows her like a puppy, because it’s easy. She does everything Chloe does, everything Chloe wants her to do, she is who Chloe wants her to be, because it means she gets to stay with Chloe. Luckily enough, who Chloe wants her to be coincides pretty much entirely with who Brooke is. High school just requires that she has to start pretending that boys and gossip and what she looks like matters more than it really does. But she only talks about that stuff with Chloe, and sometimes Jenna, so it’s not like it consumes her day or anything. So it’s fine. It’s just…difficult. Because she’s never had to actually look at a boy and decide if he looks cute, or dateable, or anything like that. And it’s not easy. There’s this unspoken agreement that some of the boys at their school are just…hot. They’re desirable, and all the girls just look at each other knowingly. Brooke feels like she’s been left out of the loop on this one. She doesn’t have a good answer when they ask her if one of the guys have caught her eye yet. She feels weird. Like she’s 11 again, and she’s an outsider but doesn’t know what for. Besides, who needs guys when you’ve got Chloe Valentine.

Chloe draws guys like moths to a flame. She’s practically perfect in every way, Brooke has to agree, but then again she gets to see sides of her that no one else does. She gets to see Chloe laughing at stupid youtube clips and snorting adorably as she scrolls trough her twitter feed. She gets to see Chloe in the morning, disheveled and sleepy and no prying eyes. Chloe doesn’t put on a facade at school, but she is definitely more closed off. She shows no real interest in the boys who show interest in her, which is why Brooke is so surprised when Chloe gets a boyfriend. His name is Jake Dillinger, he’s the president of the model UN and the quarterback on the football team. He’s…practically perfect in every way. Chloe is the prettiest girl in school, and Jake is the handsomest boy. The world has told them all their lives that this is what it’s supposed to be like, so they follow the script that’s been written for them. Play their parts. Trace the paths that have been laid out for them to follow. Jake is nice, but Brooke can’t find it in herself to like him all that much. It’s not difficult to pretend otherwise. It also helps that it doesn’t last long. She doesn’t know what happens beyond ‘we decided being friends was better’, but she can appreciate how Jake actually knows the definition of ‘friend’. He’s much more likable after that. He also brings along Rich, a small lively boy with scars all over his arms and half his face. One day at lunch Rich calls over to two other boys, who make their slow way over to the table. They look awkward, and out of place, but Brooke smiles her brightest and Rich bullies them into taking a seat. ‘’I-I-I’m Je-eremy.’’ one stutters out, and the other throws a protective arm around him and tells them, ‘’And I’m Michael!’’ with a smile plastered on his face, and a dangerous force burning behind his eyes, daring them to say anything. ‘’I’m Brooke! And this is Chloe, Jenna, and Jake. How do you know Rich?’’ she’d said immediately, as friendly as she could muster, which is pretty damn friendly if you ask just about anyone. She follows the explanation with rapt attention as Rich begins telling them. ‘’I was totally about to freak out, and Michael sort of sensed it? I guess? And he calmed me down before I set anything on fire!’’ he exclaims, smiling. ‘’Uh yeah, I’m sort of in tune with fire, so I could tell Rich was a ticking time bomb, and figured I should help. Accidentally setting shit on fire is the worst.’’ he laments, sympathy born form most likely having the exact same thing happen to him coloring his words. ‘’Oh yeah! You’re like the sun or something.’’ Jenna says, drawing the attention of everyone. ‘’Not even ‘or something’. I’m the sun, end of statement.’’ Michael explains, shrugging. Jeremy stays mostly silent. ‘’Oh cool! I’m like, wind elemental.’’ Jake says, setting off the customary Awakened introduction round. ‘’I’m the ocean.’’ Jenna says, throwing her glossy hair over one shoulder, smiling. It cascades like a wave around her. ‘’We’re Unawakened.’’ Chloe says, gesturing to her and Brooke. Jeremys shoulders sink back down from up around his ears. ‘’Me too.’’ he says in a small voice. Michaels arm is still round him. Brooke can’t look away. There’s this casualness to their touching, that reminds her of herself and Chloe. It only takes a week after that. Jake slings an arm around Chloe at the lunch table one day and Brooke feels a pang of hurt fly trough her chest even though there’s nothing between them. But there used to be, and Brooke had hated it. She loves Jake now, because he’s nice and a good friend, but she had hated him. And it had scared her. But she knows why. She’s in love with her best friend. Fuck.

Brookes Awakening is like a car crash. Sudden, unexpected, and with casualties. The casualty hadn’t been her fault, not really, but it had been central to her Awakening. Such was, is, and forever will be her nature. She’d been walking the hallway, quite calmly, just headed for her locker in between classes to get her books. Then something loud like an explosion had sucked all sound from the world, distantly she heard crows, and the image of the crowded hallway is swallowed by an inky void descending on her. Her feet lift from the floor, find purchase on a different plane only a few centimeters above, and her cardigan is flowing freely around her, her hair billows in an invisible wind, and the pressure of the void feels like water all around her. There is no sound, no light, nothing. And she feels lost, and scared, and all she wishes for is something familiar. Something safe. A voice calls from all around her, before all the small echoes gather into a familiar voice, shaping a familiar word. ‘’Brooke.’’ calls the light, glimmering in the distance, like a beacon. She walks towards it, finds her steps becoming lighter and lighter as she makes her way towards the flickering source. As she moves closer the bright white dims, gives way to mossy green and slate gray. There’s something like a portal, and Brooke falters for a moment. ‘’Brooke.’’ the unknown calls again. She steps trough. It’s nothing like exiting water, and much more like exiting slime. It sticks to her as she leaves, black clinging to her clothes and her hair, obscuring every single color except her light grey eyes. The room she finds herself in is a stark white, containing various machinery and a small frail woman lying in a bed. Hospital. The woman is obscured by pulsating light, the moss green and slate gray moving and twisting around each other. The mass of light turns to face her, and she didn’t know light could have a face, much less make expressions, but it looks happy to see her. Brooke catches a glimpse of the woman on the bed, and her already sluggishly beating heart freezes for a moment. She struggles to find her voice. ‘’Grammy?’’ she finally manages, and her voice sounds like it’s not coming from her, but everywhere around her, a mass of small small voices sounding out the different parts of the word, all coalescing into something coherent. The figure of light looks at her, smiles, and it’s so familiar her chest aches. ‘’Hi Brookie.’’ the light says, and Brooke doesn’t want to understand what has come to make so much sense to her. Souls are such unique things, a reflection of who you are. Her grandmother is a mountain, slate gray and overgrown with moss. Kind and unyielding. ‘’I’m sorry.’’ she says, because she knows what she has to do next, because it’s what she’s always done. she reaches a hand out, black as the night, black as the void she travelled to get here. Her heart thumps a slow and steady rhythm, her breaths are calm and even, but deep down the part of Brooke that is still only 16, still only a child, panics. It doesn’t reach the surface. ‘’Don’t be, it is my time, and I’d much rather it be you than anyone else.’’ her grandmother says as she reaches out her own hand, gray and wispy, a little translucent. The grip is firm, however, much more real than anything else in this otherly world. Her grandmother uses the connection between them to pull her in, giving her one last and final hug. It’s warm, and comforting, and familiar, and…safe. It puts Brooke at ease. Gives her peace with her own nature. She pulls away, smiles, and leads her grandmother by the hand back into the void. ‘’I love you, you’re doing great.’’ Brooke hears from behind her, and she turns, still holding her grandmothers hand, only to find her gone. The grip on her hand vanishes as soon as she looks down, sees her hand is empty. She looks around, does a full body turn but sees nothing but the now familiar far stretching blackness. The weight of her surroundings settle on her form once more, and deep down she knows her grandmother is gone. She’s sad, of course she is, the threat of tears is overwhelming, but she is also at peace. Because she knows her grandmother is at peace. She knows. The sudden thought is deafening, because she knows she knows she knows, and it’s terrifying and an old well known fact, comforting in it’s certainty, scary in it’s finality. It’s part of her, part of life, part of the universe, part of everything beyond infinity. It’s too much all at once and she just needs to breathe, just for a little. Her legs buckle beneath her and she lets them fold. Sits down with her head in her hands and just…breathes. Lifetime upon lifetime retail her with memories. She is only one single iteration of Death amongst many. Only a blip on the timeline of everything. But she is here, and she is living, and she is sad. And that matters. She wants to find Chloe. Chloe is familiar, Chloe is stable, Chloe is a constant, not in the way her the knowledge her Awakening has brought her is constant, but in a way that 16 year old Brooke knows it to be. Chloe is a constant, because Brooke wants her to be, so she sticks close and holds on tight. Brooke takes a final deep breath, and lets out a sigh, her chest unwinds, her soul settles into the previously non-existing nooks and crannies of her being. The void around her settles into a rhythmic flow. She stands up, takes a step forward and finds herself back in the hallway at school. The people around her are staring, but nothing has changed. None has moved between her entering and exiting the other plane. She glances around, sees Jeremy and Michael looking at her, both a little worried. She smiles at them, forcing every single speck of light and happiness into it, just to soothe their frowns. Then she continues onwards. Her legs are a little shaky, a little bit like jello, but as she walks she fishes out her phone.

To Chlo<3: Pinkberry @ lunch?

From Chlo<3: Sure ;*

Brooke smiles to herself, pockets her phone, and stops in front of her locker. Her stomach is tying itself into knots and also filling with butterflies. If she’s honest she feels too queasy to actually eat anything, but she also has a feeling that Chloe will make it better. Because it’s Chloe.

‘’You look…different. I can’t pinpoint it but I know something’s up, so spill.’’ Chloe says as she meets Brooke outside. Chloe doesn’t stop however, just expects Brooke to follow her to her car, and of course Brooke does. ‘’I had my Awakening earlier today.’’ Brooke says, finding no reason to lie. ‘’What? Really!?’’ Chloe exclaims, whirling around to look at Brooke. She grabs her by the shoulders and stares into her eyes. Brooke freezes. Her grandmother might have looked like one would expect, but Chloe looks…anything but what Brooke could expect. She’s enveloped in thorny branches, twisting and curling all around her form, right beneath her skin, like a carefully carved piece of art. Detailed and curling, everyhting with an even rythm, twisting in patterns, her eyes follow them as if enhanced. Like a rose bush. A few green leaves are scattered all over, seemingly nonsensical in their placement but artistic nonetheless, but what really catches Brookes attention is Chloes chest. Inside a cage of thorns and leaves, a small shining bud rests. It’s the size of her fist, and it almost sparkles despite it’s translucent nature. Like a gemstone. It’s beautiful. ‘’What?’’ Chloe asks, and Brooke realizes she’s been staring into Chloes eyes like an idiot this entire time. ‘’Sorry, I’m still getting used to it.’’ Brooke explains, blinking a few time to rid herself of the vision, though it won’t leave her alone still. ‘’It’s fine.’’ Chloe huffs, letting her go and continuing towards the car. Brooke smiles to herself, and follows after.

‘’Okay so like, god of death.’’ Chloe says out loud for probably the 100th time, sounding out the words, trying to wrap her mind around it. Trying to make the equation seem possible in her own head. ‘’Y’know, I think it’ll probably be goddess of death, don’t you?’’ Brooke answers instead, a few paces in front of Chloe in the school parking lot, because she’s found no answer that seems to satisfy Chloes mind yet. ‘’…oh yeah, totally.’’ Chloe says, yanking the door open as the warning bell rings. What catches their eyes immediately is a familiar red hoodie. Michael is standing pressed against a wall, Headphones on and hood up, hands shoved deep in the pockets and shoulders hunched to the high heavens as if he was Jeremy. Speaking of…there’s a noticeable lack of Jeremy. Michael looks up. It’s…chaos. Fire as far as she can see, raging and roaring, out of control. The sound is deafening, the light is blinding, and for a moment she can smell scorched earth. Something jostles her shoulder, and she breaks eye contact. ‘’We need to find Jeremy.’’ Brooke says, and she doesn’t even know if it’ll help but they need to do…something. And Jeremy is their best bet. ‘’I’ll text Jenna.’’ Chloe says immediately. She pulls out her phone, fingers tapping away at lightning speed. The answer is almost instantaneous. ‘’He’s at…play rehearsal?’’ Chloe says, and Brooke can’t look away from Michael. Hunching further and further in on himself, looking like he can’t decide between bolting or collapsing. ‘’Find him.’’ Brooke hears herself say, taking a step closer to Michael, and her voice is echoing slightly, and usually she would never ask Chloe like this. As if she’s telling her what to do. But Michael is in trouble, and she wants to help. She doesn’t see Chloe walk off as much as she feels it, her eyes are trained on Michael, the world melting away around her, becoming fuzzy and distant. The people between her and Michael form a natural path towards him, but pay her no mind. Halfway across the hallway he looks back at her, and she is swallowed by the flames once more. In the midst of the swirling yellows and oranges, a small red figure sits, curled up and shaking. ‘’Michael?’’ she asks it, but it only curls up tighter, the roaring only becomes worse, the heat is almost unbearable. ‘’Michael!’’ a different voice yells, and this one has another effect entirely. The small red figure whips around so fast, the entire vision seems to get dragged away from her, swooping out to the side and leaving her windswept, disoriented. She turns her head. Jeremy is jogging down the hallway, Chloe not too far behind. Michael has turned his head, his eyes are fixed on Jeremy. As soon as he’s within hearing range, Michael breaks. ‘’Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry.’’ he whispers, over and over. But Jeremy simply shushes him. ‘’You’re good dude, come on.’’ Jeremy says, putting an arm around Michael. Michael reaches up for the hand draped over his own shoulder, grips it like a lifeline. Brooke eyes are glued to their hands, before Jeremy draws her attention once more. ‘’Thanks for coming to get me.’’ he says, looking first at Chloe, and then at Brooke. It’s the first time he’s looked either of the in the eye properly. Grey. Like the remnants left from a forest fire. Not cold, per se, but like the absence of warmth. He turns back to look at Michael, and the vision is gone, the smell of smoke lingers in her nose until they’re out of sight.

After that it’s not like she actively seeks out eye contact with people, because it seems like something…private. But she doesn’t stop it from happening either. Jake looks across to her at the lunch table, and she feels a gust of wind whip around her. Light blue and lavender swirls twist around each other in miniature tornadoes, rising and falling. When he laughs it sings, whistles, and it’s warm like summer. She wonders what it looks like when he isn’t happy, but lets the thought leave her as quickly as it entered. Rich looks at her in their shared English class, and he’s a lot like Michael, but also not. There is fire, yes, but it’s smaller, more contained, more human shaped. It’s burning away happily, redorangeyellow twists and turns just beneath his skin. There are dark maroon marks echoing his scars all over his arms, his torso, stretching up his neck to his ace and partially down his legs. It makes him distinct, makes him stick out. She learns the feel and shape of their souls quickly. Not as quickly as Chloes, but almost. She can pick them out of crowds, spot them from across the building. It’s an odd mix of nice and creepy. Jenna is a marvel. Her soul swirls in bright cerulean pride, water calm and complacent for now. Brooke has seen how dark and stormy it can be when Jenna gets angry, but mostly she is content. Brooke has to admit, however, that her favorite form of Jennas soul is when she’s happy. Then she is a bright bright seafoam green, rays of light catching on the small disturbances of her surface casting out a magnificent light show. It’s hypnotizing. Their little group is an odd mishmash of people. Friends of circumstance. But they sort of…fit anyway. Their colors and shapes blend together to make a tapestry of familiar sensations, and Brooke happily surrounds herself with them. Brooke doesn’t really feel like they’re missing something. Someone. Until Christine. It started with Jeremy, like things never seem to do. Because Jeremy is quiet and stays out of everyones way, much like Michael does, but just…to a bigger extent. But he had gone to play rehearsal, and he’d met Christine. Christines soul is a lot like Jeremys. Muted, grey, a little more glow-y. Dormant. It gets fuzzy around the edges, as if it continues, but she just can’t see it yet. But sometimes it flares so bright Brooke fears she’ll go blind. Christine slips into their lives at the end of freshman year, and somehow, it’s like she’s always been there. Like it’s always been Michael-and-Jeremy and Christine.

Sometimes Brooke catches herself staring at Chloe. It’s not like it’s unusual, Chloe is very pretty, but now that she’s grasped the whole soul thing, and doesn’t have to focus on the clearest path to the soul, the eyes, she can see them whenever she wants to. Or whenever her mind wanders too far. Her mind is a one track kind however, and it usually only wanders as far as Chloe, and then there she’ll be. Thorns and thorns and thorns and the slightest hint of pink. Chloes perfume is a muted slightly spicy one, but the scent that wafts from her in moments like these, is pure summer sweetness. Wild roses. And in one of these quiet moments it hits her. She’s been enamored by flowers lately. Of course she’s always liked flowers, who doesn’t? They’re pretty, and colorful, and smell nice. They’re a sign of spring, of warmth, of happiness. But recently she’s been actively seeking them out. Taken a specific path to school to pass by the wall purple climbing clematis flowers, or purposefully walked by the flowershop at the mall to let the colors and shapes wash over her. Not too long ago she was craving pomegranates. She realizes how blind she’s been to the inevitable. Chloe is, for a lack of better word, blossoming. Very very slowly. But she is growing into the person she’s meant to be. Persephone. She’s almost there too, almost reached herself. Rich catches her staring trough a wall one day in the middle of sophomore year. ‘’Whatcha lookin at?’’ he asks, staring at the wall. The blank very much empty wall. ‘’Chloe.’’ she answers distractedly. ‘’What?’’ he asks, pure confusion in his voice. ‘’I can see her soul, it’s really pretty.’’ she continues, not even the slightest bit aware of how creepy that sounds. ‘’O…kay?’’ Rich says, leaning back in his seat a little, switching from staring at the wall to staring at her. ‘’Yeah, it’s all flowery and pink and nice.’’ Brooke sighs, almost dreamily, completely gone. ‘’Flowers? Like…Persephone?’’ he asks, hesitantly. She finally looks away from the wall, attention snapping from Chloes gentle distant soul to the burning inferno next to her. ‘’How’d you figure that out so quickly?’’ she exclaims, incredulous. ‘’Greek mythology?’’ is the only answer he gives, and she can only sigh and put her head in her hands. ‘’Don’t tell her.’’ she begs, not looking at him. ‘’She needs to grow into herself like everyone else, you know that.’’ she continues on. She can see the moving twisting fire nodding rapidly in her sideview. ‘’Of course! I’m telling the other though.’’ he says casually, and Brooke can only let her head fall to the desk with a dull thud. ‘’That’s fair.’’ she says. He isn’t kidding.

‘’Brooke can see our souls!’’ is the first thing he says as he sits down at lunch. ‘’What? Really!?’’ Jake turns to her like an exited puppy. ‘’Uhhhhhh…yeah?’’ is the only reasonable answer she can give. ‘’No way! Is that part of the whole death goddess thing?’’ Michael asks her next. She nods. ‘’I guess? I see best trough peoples eyes, but once I get a good grasp I can spot people from across campus.’’ she explains, smiling as the enthusiasm seems to grow around the table. ‘’Do you mind sharing?’’ Jenna asks her, and she appreciates the way it’s framed. The obvious curiosity, but the subtle hint that Jenna will make sure everyone respects it if she doesn’t want to tell them anything. ‘’Not at all! It’s pretty self explanatory? Like, Rich looks like fire. All glory and burning. Michael kinda looks the same but like, with more light? Like he shines instead of glow, and he’s bigger.’’ it’s difficult putting it into words, she finds, because nothing can compare to the way she sees Rich flame flare at the comment. ‘’Hey!’’ he yells, obviously taking it as a slight against his height, but all in good fun. He’s smiling even before he’s finished that one single word. Brooke giggles as she tries to keep going, ‘’You look like an ocean in a human shaped container. Not even just water, more like…. like a piece of the ocean passing trough a human shape?’’ she directs it at Jenna, who smiles and nods knowingly. Her eyes travel to Jake next. ‘’Jake you look like…you know Pocahontas?’’ Jake nods gleefully, ‘’Well you kinda look like the colors of the wind, you know? Like, blue and purple, really light shades, all twirly and nice.’’ Brooke waves her hands around in the best rendition of the intricate dances Jakes soul performs on the daily. ‘’That’s so cool!’’ he exclaims, giving Rich high five. ‘’What about me?’’ Chloe asks, and Brooke feels her heart skip a beat. What should she say? IS lying okay? She shouldn’t tell Chloe what she suspects (what she knows, it has to be the truth, her heart yearns), it might alter the flow of things, Might make Chloe choose a different path, become something (someone) else. Awakenings are tricky things. You travel down a road all your life, and you have to choose which path to follow, each path leads you somewhere, and most of the time you end up where you’re supposed to be, one way or another. You grow into your Awakening. You grow into who you are. Chloe isn’t ready to be Persephone yet, and if Brooke upsets the growth of the bud, it might wither and die before it even blossom. She can’t take that risk. ‘’You’re Unawakened, so I can’t see much? But it has something to do with nature, definitely. I can see vines of some sort, twisting into a human shape. It’s very pretty.’’ she lets that last comment slip out before having thought it trough completely. But Chloe had looked a little disappointed as Brooke and explained. She just wanted to make her feel better. She’s saved from embarrassing herself further by the arrival of Jeremy and Christine. ‘’And them?’’ Michael asks as Jeremy settles down to his right, Christine claiming the seat at the end. ‘’What?’’ Christine asks, looking to Michael and then to Brooke. ‘’I can see peoples souls, and everyone here is a nosy fucker.’’ she says, but her tone is light and playful, her lips upturned. ‘’And you and Jeremy are still Unawakened, so I can’t see you as clerkly as I can the others, but you’re…silvery gray. Glowing and sometimes blindingly so, but mostly fuzzy. Jeremy looks kinda similar, grey and fuzzy. Sometimes you feel really cold though.’’ she finishes, staring at Jeremy who is staring at her eyebrow instead of her eyes. She can only tell because it somewhat obscures the view of his soul. ‘’Cool.’’ he says. And that’s all.

One Wednesday morning in September, she catches Jeremys eye across the hallway. She expects the usual. Grey. Fuzzy. Ash. Smoke. Instead she’s met with a human shape, burning to cinders from the inside. Flaking and smoking, like a campfire. Glowing orange cracks and hollow eyes. She walks towards him without hesitation. People let her pass, and she melts the world away until they can talk in private. She knows who he is. She sees him. She knows who he burns for, and it strikes a chord with something ancient in her being. ‘’I see you.’’ she says, her voice echoing only slightly in this in-between place she calls upon. ‘’I had the dream night to Monday.’’ he says, and she can see the traces of his burning on his soul, like handprints. She feels Brooke slip away, lets the other part take over, the one who’s from the same place as the other part of Jeremy. ‘’You’re burning, like last time. Are you really going to do this to yourself all over again?’’ she pleads. He is her friend, no matter what, and it hurts to see him suffer like this, even for something as pure as love. ‘’Yes. What else can I do?’’ he asks her, and she feels at a loss, she might know many things not many others know, but she still doesn’t have all the answers. She knows this is who he is, but she wishes he could b it differently. ‘’Are you happy with this?’’ she asks instead. Her voice is so much more steady than she feels. ‘’It means I’m by his side, and that’s where I’m meant to be, isn’t it? Destiny…or some shit.’’ she sees the sadness and acceptance in his eyes, and can only give him an equally tight smile in return. She dips her head down once, in acknowledgment. Everything carries so much more weight in this space. ‘’Take care of yourself.’’ she wants to plead, to beg, but it comes out almost monotone, but she sees he understands the gravity behind the words. ‘’Any progress with Chloe?’’ he derails, and she can tell if they were not in her domain, he would have taken this opportunity to finally break eye contact. She’s happy he doesn’t, beaches she wants to keep talking, but the thought of Chloe lets her mind drift anyway. It’s hard not to. When similar longing echoes in him as well. ‘’No, she is still Unawakened, but I sense her growing closer every day. It’s only a matter of time before Persephone returns to me again.’’ her voice carries as if on a breeze, like a dream. It has been a month, and the rest of the gang knows what she is waiting for. Jake had told her Chloe was on the brink of something, but couldn’t tell her what. It feels like she’s holding her breath, waiting. Jeremy has gone from a gentle smile, to a twist of the lips, drawn brows, contemplating. ‘’Will you do me a favor?’’ he asks, finally. ‘’If I’m capable.’’ she answers, truthfully. She is capable of many things, things her friends don’t even know, but then again she will do what she can to help them. ‘’Watch over him? If anything happens?’’ he begs of her, his soul yearning, worrying, twisting and being over itself in glowing orange streaks. Her heart aches for him, aches for lovers in general. She knows the story all too well. She knows human nature oh so well. ‘’If anything happens, you’re the one who should be watched over.’’ she tries to reason, tries to bargain, tries to ask him to please ask her to look out for him as well. She wants to so badly. ‘’Maybe, but please? If only to put my mind at ease?’’ the hand he places on her arm is warm, and she can only find it in herself to nod once again. He smiles, so bright, and the orange glows so strongly she fears she might get singed. The bell rings, and her eyes dart away from him. The bubble shatters. ‘’I’ll see you at lunch?’’ she asks, and he promises. He keeps to that promise, and at lunch she can’t keep her eyes away from him. Every time Michael comes close, the orange glow grows stronger, reaching, yearning. But Michael never gets close enough to make the connection, even as she sees his soul reach back for Jeremys in a strange yet beautiful dance. Only once does Michael brush against Jeremy, and Brooke sees the orange glow, sees it radiate and reach, before it is stopped by something invisible, a barrier of Jeremys own making, as it turns back on itself and sears trough his skin, outwards. Jeremy doesn’t flinch. Icarus cries.

Michael almost dies. And then Jermey almost dies while reviving him. But they both survive, so it’s fine in the end. She visits him, in that in-between place, as he sleeps. ‘’Jeremy.’’ she asks him, but the only response is the glowing orange sphere pulsating slightly. It’s enough of a sign of life that it puts her at ease, but it’s still abad sign. She sighs, equal parts fond and exasperated. ‘’You’re an idiot…but I know how you feel.’’ she confesses. She closes the vast distance between herself and the orb with a few strides, she settles down next to it, feels the warmth radiating from it, like a candle. ‘’We’re all worried about you, about what you did. Michael the most of course.’’ at the mention of his name, a pulse of light shoots out. She giggles. ‘’You sap.’’ her smile falls away slowly, sitting in the nothingness next to a nearly dormant core isn’t exactly her dream Saturday, but right now she finds there’s nowhere else she’d rather be. Well okay, there might be one place, but she knows Chloe is waiting for her for when she returns. She reaches out one hand tentatively, lets it ghost across the orange surface. It looks like molten glass, but feels uneven, feels alive. ‘’We’re waiting for you, wake up soon.’’ she tells him. The orb glows a little brighter, and she smiles. Taking one step forward she finds herself back in the hospital waiting room. Jenna and Chloe are sitting in the chairs in front of her, Michael is pacing off to the side. When she steps back into their plane of reality, his attention snaps to her immediately. ‘’Is he okay?’’ are the first words out of his mouth. She almost feels like smiling, one corner of her mouth twitching upwards. ‘’He’ll be fine.’’ she promises. It’s true, she can’t feel him calling to her yet, not even in the slightest. It’s reassuring.

The blazing reds and oranges of autumn give way to the muted colors and softness of winter. Jeremys Awakening has made it’s mark on their lives, an explosive way to kick off their junior year, but soon enough it’s all just background noise again. Life goes on. Brooke looks at Chloe and sees the bud, still oh so tightly shut in its thorny cage, and figures her best bet is spring. Springtime reawakens the world and the flowers will bloom and the earth once again sprouts green and life. How quickly she forgets why winter exists in the first place. She’s dragged Chloe along to the park, two scarves (one bright yellow, one dark blue) and two hats (one with kitty ears, one with a pompom) stuffed in her bag. Her cheeks are already a rosy red from the chill, but her hands are warm in their gloves, warmer still with one tucked into her pocket and the other with a steady grip on Chloes hand. She's smiling, laughing, talking a mile a minute about why winter is amazing. Why she loves the snow, and the stillness of the land. ‘’Figures you’d like the world at it’s deadest.’’ Chloe remarks, and Brooke laughs. ‘’I’ve always viewed the seasons as a phoenix.’’ she says, and Chloe only lifts an eyebrow. To anyone else it would come off as cold and uninterested, but Brooke knows it means she wants her to explain, she wants to know. ‘’Well spring is re-birth, right? Then summer gets warmer and that’s like, life. Then there’s autumn and all those yellows and reds and oranges and that’s sorta like a fire, and then everything dies. Then there’s winter, which is colorless and quiet, ashes, death. But like, it’s not death? It’s just…’’ she pauses, freezes in her tracks as she tilts her head up, letting her eyes travel the vast expanse of cloudy sky. There’s no trace of blue, just a light fluffy grey stretching endlessly. ‘’Hibernation!’’ she finally exclaims, resuming her pace towards the open field of the park. ‘’Because at the end of winter spring always comes, and that’s re-birth, and so the cycle continues over and over and over into the endless eternity. Like a phoenix.’’ Brooke finally finishes. Chloe says nothing. ‘’So yeah, I guess I don’t like winter in itself, as much as I like the promise of spring that comes with winter. But I like the anticipation of spring more than spring itself? If that makes sense? Then again, winter also has snow, and snow is amazing.’’ Brooke says, finality and conviction in her voice, and Chloe can only smile crookedly, a small shake of her head jostles some of her hair out from where it’s stuck underneath her scarf. ‘’Brooke, never change.’’ she simply says, and Brooke turns to her, smile radiant and eyes shining with that light that Chloe has only ever seen in Brookes eyes. Like a glimmer at the end of everything. Like a beacon at the edge of eternity. It’s something one can easily get lost in. Brooke has finished snowman number one, and plopped a kitty hat on its head, twirled a bright yellow scarf around the connection between the torso and the head. She found two pinecones for eyes and traced a stick in a curving line to form a smiling mouth. She’s finishing the head of snowman number two, cradling it in her hands as she regards it, eyes scanning for unevenness. Finding none, she places a light blue hat with a fluffy pompom on its head, and settles the dark blue scarf lovingly on it’s barely there shoulders. She picks up a few small rocks to form buttons down the front, finds two bottle caps for eyes, traces a smirk onto the snowy face with the tip of her glove. She takes two steps back, admiring her handiwork. Then the gaming flaw hits her and she turns and heads off for the forested edge of the park. ‘’Where you going?’’ Chloe calls from the bench, sitting on a picnic blanket and cradling a thermos of hot chocolate. Brooke twirls around, still moving towards the edge, and calls ‘’Arms!’’ before finishing the twirl and jogging towards the trees. It doesn’t take too long to find a good pair of stick arms, she just needs to dig a little around the bushes. One pair down, one to go, she thinks to herself. She spots a nice looking stick and pulsate it. It’s slightly stuck, but with a hard enough tug it comes loose from underneath the bush. It pulls along another stick with it, and she stands there, holding one and looking at the dangling one that followed, judging it’s size. She smiles to herself, moves to pull the two sticks apart when an even better idea hits her. She rushes back over to the two snowy figures. Correction; three snowy figures. Chloe looks a little frozen and a lot done with the cold. ‘’Almost done!’’ Brooke promises, brandishing the four sticks proudly. As soon as Brookes back is turned, Chloe lets the fondness overtake her expression. She watches brooke attach one arm to the small snow-Brooke, and then one arm to the small snow-Chloe, and she’s about to ask why they both only have one arm when Brooke starts attaching the arms in between them. She’s made the two little versions of them so they’re standing relatively close to each other, it’s a pretty cute tradition they have, not that Chloe will ever admit that out loud. But she knows it’s important to Brooke, so here she is. When Brooke steps back to join her, standing next to the bench and admiring her artistic creation, Chloe blames the flush in her cheeks on the cold. They’re holding hands. The snowmen. The arms in-between them are two sticks tangled together at the ends, and Chloes chest floods with warmth. ‘’It’s perfect!’’ Brooke nearly yells, shattering the delicate silence of their small winter wonderland. ‘’It is.’’ Chloe can’t help but agree, quietly. She looks at Brooke, offers a cup of hot chocolate, watches as she takes it gratefully, closing her eyes in bliss as the drink warms up her insides. It’s Brookes grandmothers recipe, because that’s tradition too. Brooke sits down next to Chloe, leaning into her shoulder and just looking at her creations with a small satisfied smile. Chloe can’t tear her eyes away from the way Brookes golden hair frames her face. Her warm eyes, her cute nose, her soft lips. Chloe has the urge to reach out and touch her cheek, just to check if it’s as smooth as it looks. Something in her chest melts, warmth spreading, blooming, reaching for her fingertips and her all the way out into her toes. Her heart is seized by something squeezing tight tight tight and for a second it’s as if the cold winter air is unbreathable. Brooke turns her head towards her. It’s like the world melts away, all that’s left is Brooke. Brooke and her warm kind knowing eyes and her soft kind knowing smile and her beautiful face and her hand reaching for Chloes own face. Time and space looses it’s meaning, not that it had much to begin with, as Brooke stretches her arm out fully across the few inches between them. There’s a warm breeze caressing her, making her hair billow and she’s dressed in all black but she looks oh so alive, Chloe thinks she might be dying. That’s it. She can’t breathe and she’s dying and Brooke is there because that’s what she does. Chloe catches herself thinking she’s happy Brooke is the last thing she’ll ever know, and then she remembers that breathing might help the whole not dying thing. She gasps, her lungs expanding, there’s the sweet taste of wild roses on her tongue. Chloes hans makes contact with her face. ‘’There you are.’’ she says, her voice echoing endlessly across the vast space between them, but it feels like a whisper against Chloes ear. And she understands. ‘’Here I am.’’ she answers, and it’s like her voice breaks the spell, suddenly they’re back on that park bench, swaddled in winter clothes and their faces so so close. Brookes hand is warm on her cheek. She leans in.

The crazy thing is, it tastes like pomegranates. It tastes like the chilly morning air of early spring, it tastes of the warm summer nights, it tastes of…everything Brooke has come to associate with Chloes soul ever since she could see it. But best of all, it tastes like Chloes chapstick, and the hot chocolate, and it smells like slightly spicy perfume and that one brand of conditioner Chloe really likes because it makes her hair really really soft. It’s brushing against the hand Brooke has on Chloes cheek. It’s one of the few things that still feel real.

Chloe leans back, staring at Brooke, and Brooke can only stare back at Chloe. Then her face breaks into the widest grin, and she giggles. Brooke lifts her hands to try and stifle it, stuffing her face into her scarf muffles it somewhat but she still giggles helplessly. It’s adorable, and it only makes Chloe break out into her own fit of giggles, she tears her eyes away from Brookes beautiful face to try and get it under control, and her eyes catch on something green. She stops laughing. There’s no snow on the bench. There’s no snow on the ground actually. Underneath the bench there’s a perfect green circle surrounding them, and from the green green grass all kinds of wildflowers have sprouted. They’re in full bloom, a sea of color and scents and the breeze is playing with them, swaying them back and forth in an unheard melody. Brooke has gotten her giggling under control, and is looking at their little patch of spring with a smile that’s both fond and extremely proud, overflowing with joy. She glances at Chloe, whose face isn’t as slack and shocked anymore. She's got that signature crooked smile that kinda looks like a smirk but isn’t really one. ‘’I fucking knew I was a queen.’’ she says, and Brooke breaks out into helpless giggles all over again.