#buck needs love

[hyperfixationships]

Some thoughts on a non-romantic relationship as I rewatch 9-1-1 and cry hysterically:

Bobby Nash lost his WHOLE family. Lost his kids and his wife and he never once forgave himself for it. But he took one look at Buck and it was like, "Oh, that one. It's him. That's my son." He took one look at Buck and saw him. He noticed Buck struggling, he noticed Buck pain and being lost. And he didn't know why, and he kept his distance because of his own kids, but he still took care of him. He still did everything in his power to keep him safe and fight for him even when Buck made it hard. And Buck did make it hard in a way, (not because he's hard to love, but because he's convinced he's expendable, he's convinced he doesn't matter, he's self-destructive and hard to keep safe) but despite it all, Bobby cares. He saw this sad, broken mess of a boy and they clicked right away. It was like it was meant to be, despite Buck not being from him he was meant to find Bobby and be his kid. In any lifetime and in any universe.

And Buck? He is self-destructive. He thinks his only worth is helping others, even if it's self-destructive and kills him. And who did that to him besides Margaret and Phillip? Who treated him like he was expendable, who only had him to save their other child and it failed. He was born to save others and it's all he can do now.

(Oh, you want to know why I'm in therapy? It's because I have spent my entire life feeling like a constant disappointment. You want to talk about our jobs? You think my job is dangerous? I have walked through fire every single day of my life because of you! That is why I'm in therapy because nothing I ever did was good enough!

We tried but you always-you never made it easy on us! Either one of you!

We were supposed to? We were kids!

Evan, I don't know what you expected us to do!

Love me anyway)

Buck is self-destructive, and kind and will help anyone he can, even if he goes about it the wrong way. Buck has been made to feel small and useless if he's not saving others even if it kills him and Bobby sees that. Buck has the mentality of a teenager and will do anything and everything for attention. Who desperately wants to be loved and cared for, but no one ever stays. And Bobby? He stayed and he fought for him and he cares. Bobby sees a hurt kid who is so easy to love despite Bucks' flaws. Bobby notices the flaws and hurt but loves him anyway. Even if Bobby sometimes handles Buck's tendencies the wrong way. Buck gave up on a family a long time ago, but Bobby gives him one. He gives him the 118 and himself and Athena. Bobby sees this abandoned boy and thinks, "Yes, this one is mine." And Buck doesn't fully process that he will always have Bobby. (Even after the lawsuit. When Buck was convinced Bobby was abandoning him, Bobby was terrified of losing him. He was trying to protect his son.) Bobby gives him Hen, Chimney, Eddie, and Athena. He lets him into his home when it's the 118 and when Bobby moves in with Athena, Athena gives him a home. Athena knows Buck is theirs and gives him a place to go whenever he needs. Bobby and Athena see through him and love him anyway. They're hell-bent on showing him, "We see your flaws, we see how hurt and angry you are and we love you anyway." And Buck doesn't always know how to handle it. He thinks he's expendable, like he doesn't matter if he's not saving others. And Bobby? No matter how angry Buck makes him, he forgives him always. He loves him despite it all. Bobby who rushed to the hospital despite his frustration when he thought Buck was hurt. Bobby lets Buck control the pace of their relationship, Bobby who is patient loving and will always help his son when he can. Bobby is hard on Buck, because he cares. Bobby doesn't want to lose another kid. Bobby who makes Buck one of his lucky numbers.

(Mom brought two kids into this marriage, you brought one.)

Buck isn't used to being fought for, loved or cared for. And Bobby knows that. Bobby will always have a home for him and will always love him despite everything. And Bobby will always love him, and Buck is learning that. Buck is learning that Bobby loves him even when he's angry and lashing out. They'll always find their way back to each other because they're a parent and child. No matter how old Buck is. The whole 118 is Bobby's family, the first one since his died. But Buck? Buck is his son, and nothing can beat that. And everyone will always know that. And Buck? Buck helped teach Bobby to trusting open again. He taught him it's okay to have a family again. And Bobby needed that. Bobby saw a kid lost and adrift with a terrible family and wants to help, but feels so guilty. But Buck helps hold and support him when Bobby relapses but sees a dad in him anyways. And Bobby needed him just as much as Buck needed Bobby. They needed each other. They found a family in each other and found it.

[inkskinned]

the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.

women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.

what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.

i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.

fuck, man. write better material.

a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.

god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.

this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.

we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.

i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -

it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.

[emolionsrawr]

gerrard: buckley, what in the devils name are you doing?

buck, with a clipboard in hand: well, gerrard, i was going over everything in the firehouse and i noticed some things

gerrard: what is it buckley?

buck: well, you sir are in violation of the sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression discrimination act, over the past week i've noticed you refer to henretta wilson with slurs, very offensive slurs, as well as myself, due to this myself and mrs wilson have made note of each time you've done this, and reported it to our head HR representative, this here *hands gerrard a piece of paper* is a letter from the chief, requesting your presence for a meeting about your retirement

gerrard: you fucking fa-

bobby: i'd be careful if i was you gerrard, and get out of MY firehouse

gerrard: *screws up the paper and leaves*

chimney: see i told you all we needed to do was set clipboard buck on his ass

hen: look i know i'm a lesbian, but buck has never looked so good before

buck: i am the defender of lesbians!!

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[mischiefbuckley]

if there’s one thing I want buck to do in season 8 is start listing random facts again I need to see his joy as he starts rambling on about bees and to see eddie looking at him in awe that yes this is the dorky tall handsome blue eyed cutie he’s so in love with

[thestrangestthlng]

🎖️Great Loves🎖️

Maddie's monologue from Buck, Actually | 9-1-1 | S2 E8

[sophsun1]

Bobby + Caring for an injured Buck

2.18: This Life We Choose | 6.10: In a Flash

[warpedpuppeteer]

Ever think about how Buck ran away from home to look for a family and Eddie ran away from family because it didn't quite feel like home and then they met each other by some kind of fate and Buck found family in Eddie (because Eddie gave him Chris and he loves Buck unconditionally) and Eddie found a home in Buck (because Buck never makes him feel like a failure of a human or a father, helps him without a second thought). Something about how you don't find it son, you make it. And they did. Both of them made this.

[sauriurius]

„I am a scorpio, he is a scorpio.“

„I dated a vegetarian once which was challenging.“

„I am not the most approachable human being.“

„If you want a salad with kidney beans, you go get some kidney beans.“

PLEASE never let this man stop talking, I have been cackling at this mans yapping for the last 24 hours

[sharpbutsoft]

No prize for guessing what their type is…

[thatbuddie]

[meep-meep-richie]

i will never stop talking about how perfect Tommy is T_T

[tenebrous-academic]

A moment of appreciation for the fact that this is the first time Buck has felt happy and settled enough in a relationship to not question his emotions or second guess his actions. He doesn’t need to go to Bobby for advice because he already knows how he feels.

Tommy is giving Buck the security to just exist in a relationship and not seek the the validation he needs from Bobby, because he’s already getting that validation and love from Tommy 🥹❤️

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie Countdown to Season 7:

16 days.

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#Just Insane Moments

[aunmenosheteroenespanol]

Is this anything