It's funny how often Bill is described as a master manipulator, he's so smart that he knows what everyone is thinking and how to push their buttons.
Because he is SO BAD at manipulation!
The only reason he ever gets what he wants is because he can literally read and control minds. And historically, he is pretty shit at using what he learns in a productive way.
Every time he has a human partner, it's because they are obviously desperate for something he can provide. All he does is use the fact that he's a seemingly omniscient otherworldly being to gain ethos, and then tell them he can get them the thing they want.
These are not complicated concepts. Anyone with those inherent advantages could do that. And, historically, when the actual negotiations are up to him and he hasn't backed someone into a corner, he pretty immediately fumbles the bag.
Think of when he possessed that priest: he pitched his plans outright with zero tact and everyone in the room immediately refused and dedicated themselves to making sure he never got his way.
The pharoh DISPISED him, found him annoying and tried to banish him. The shaman caught wise pretty quick. Xgqrthx never even planned on helping him at any point. Every plan failed because of Bills own ineptitude, when all the cards were stacked in his favor!
The way he talked to Ford was disturbing and direct and entirely Bill-like. Ford was just a sponge for any flattery and happened to be into the way Bill spoke and left him rats and suggested murder because he is also abnormal.
Bill is bad at making friends, which is why he has just a few henchmaniacs he's gathered over billions of years.
People DO NOT LIKE HIM.
And he's in denial about that to an extent. He always thinks they'll be on his side once he reveals his true intentions. He always thinks they'll go for the promise of infinite power and destruction because who wouldn't?
Basically, for an immortal god who's had an unfathomably long time to practice social skills and can LITERALLY ENTER MINDS TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY... he's really, really bad at manipulation. And really, any sort of person to person connection.
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do not reupload / edit w/o credit // do not tag as kin/id
he is god's sleepiest soldier (he cant sleep at night)
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who's creature is this and why is he in my house
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watch your tongue, you child
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me when I also try to wipe my face through my mask.
good job, idiot. get pranked.
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aww does dreams have a crush :3
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troy calypso (tyreen pushed him)
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Dear Magy-wagy, you seem to have forgotten that you summoned us for our infinite knowledge. Meaning, we know that you want to smooch taranza, you can't hide it >:)
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Here is the version of the Guardtwo that was in my head when me and @xhunterbeatsx were talking about an au where mewtwos were purchasable assets, came out a lot edgier than intended Oops a Psychic/Steel type
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biggest fan right here guys
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❝ Heh, bet'cha think yers real funny , right ? Well fortunately I can take a joke but'cha gettin' real brave takin' 𝐏𝐎𝐏 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒 at a guy armed t'the teeth like this an' it's gettin' old 𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐓 ! ❞
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