#bumpin stuff

[peridotsarelongterm]

I’m apparently suffering from overwork and brainrot, so please allow me to share my favorite unnecessarily suggestive gifs of DeForest Kelley.

[billyloomiswhore4]

Why’d you only call me when you’re high? - Billy Loomis

gif belongs to google

Warnings: unhealthy relationships, cheating,violence,  angst, slight smut, billy is a dick, slutshaming, bad ending. 

The mirror's image, it tells me it's home time

But I'm not finished, 'cause you're not by my side

Billy Loomis knows he isn’t a good man, and he’s definitely not good enough for you. It doesn’t matter how much he enjoys killing or hurting people, he can’t hurt you, not physically anyways. You bring out a sense of calm in him. He’s always tense, like a wild animal easy to startle and ready to attack at any moment. But around you, it’s like that urge to hurt people is satiated, like he doesn’t need to anymore.

 As he looks at himself in the mirror, he thinks about what he needs to do to Sydney, and her friend. He wants to, so badly that it hurts. He realizes he needs you for this plan to come together, he needs you to keep him satiated. 

And as I arrived I thought I saw you leavin', carryin' your shoes

Decided that once again I was just dreamin' of bumpin' into you

He stands at the doorway of Stu’s house, watching as you stumble up the stairs. Lips locked with another man, and he thinks, “That should be me.” Your shoes are in your left hand and your dress is wrinkled. You seem to be enjoying yourself, and he hates it. He wants you to suffer without him, he wants you to regret your decision of dropping him. But he also wants to take a knife and stuff it into the heart of the man you're with. He wants to watch your face full of terror as you realize what he’s capable of. But he can’t, because he’s with Sidney. So instead he seeths in anger, and continues talking to Stu with his fists clenched, just hoping you’ll take him back. 

… Now it's three in the mornin' and I'm tryin' to change your mind

Left you multiple missed calls and to my message, you reply

"Why'd you only call me when you're high?"

"Hi, why'd you only call me when you're high?"

It’s 3 am when your phone rings, the ID says, “ Billy,” You ignore it, and he calls three more times before you pick up. 

“What, Billy?” You sound angry, he likes it. 

He’s sitting standing in front of the mirror in Stu’s bathroom. And he’s high, he just smoked a joint with Stu and he can’t stand listening to him go on and on about what he’s up to with Tatum when he misses you so much, misses your touch, your sense of calm. 

“Nothin’ just watched to talk to you s’all.” It’s obvious how high he is, his voice comes out slow and slightly lighter. 

“Are you high?” You sigh when he doesn’t reply. “Goodbye Billy.” 

“No wait!” You hang up before he can try to convince you to go back to him.

… Somewhere darker, talkin' the same shite

I need a partner, well, are you out tonight?

Billy is sitting in Stu’s living room, watching The Exorcist. Everyone is there except Sidney, and he doesn’t want to admit it but he hates it when she’s not there. When she isn’t there all he can think about is you. Stu likes to call him obsessed, probably because he is. He craves you, and the way you help satiate his urges. His urges, god they’re so overwhelming, he just wants to go into the kitchen and slit the throats of everyone in the room, just to come find you, soaked in their blood and kiss you.  But he can’t, you won't have him. And it’s all SIdney’s fault. 

It's harder and harder to get you to listen

More I get through the gears

“I don’t understand! We had a good thing going!” 

He showed up at your front door, and pushed his way inside before you could slam the door in his face.

“What’s not to understand! You’re with Sidney, I can’t do that to her!”

“Who cares about Sidney!” You’re yelling in each other's face, up close and heated. This is how it always happens, this is how you end up in bed with him. 

“I can’t fuck you knowing you’re with her! It would ruin her if she found out! She loves you!”

“I don’t care, I love you!”

Your lips meet his suddenly, and fervently. It’s messy, and your teeth clink together. His tongue slips into your mouth and he slides off your jacket, walking you backwards and up the stairs. 

Incapable of makin' alright decisions, and havin' bad ideas

You lay underneath him, on your bed. Clothes are long discarded, it’s just you, him and pent up anger. You don’t think, you ignore all those pesky thoughts about Sidney, and how you could be ruining her relationship. When he pushes into you, all thoughts fade away, it’s just skin on skin and no more worries. 

Afterwards, you lay next to him, but facing away from him.

“This was the last time Billy. We can’t do this anymore.” It’s the exact same thing you’ve said time and time again. He knows you want to mean it, but he also knows he’ll be in bed with you again. 

… Now it's three in the mornin' and I'm tryin' to change your mind

Left you multiple missed calls and to my message you reply

"Why'd you only call me when you're high?"

"Hi, why'd you only call me when you're high?"

It’s been weeks since he’s touched you, since he fucked you. He shouldn’t miss you, but he does. So he finds himself dialing your number. He’s high again, Stu introduced him to his new bong. He calls you from Stu’s back porch, but you don’t pick up. 

He calls you again, and again, but still no answer. He sighs, and closes his eyes, letting the cool breeze hit his face and push back his hair. The cool air helps calm the urges, but not for long. 

… And I can't see you here, wonderin' where am I

It sort of feels like I'm runnin' out of time

Summer ended last week, and you’re sitting in English class. You definitely aren’t paying attention. Your thoughts wander to Billy. He hasn’t called you in a month and a half, and it’s been two months since he’d fucked you the last time. 

You wonder if he’s finally moved on, if he’s decided he doesn’t really need you anymore. You never thought you would miss him this much, but you do. You miss the way he touched you, the way he played with you. No other man was able to do better than him. You tried to forget about him, with booze, and weeds and men. But none of it worked, not for long anyways.  

I haven't found all I was hopin' to find

You said you gotta be up in the mornin'

Your head is pounding, and you’re cold. The softness underneath you tells you you’re in a bed. The last thing you remember is challenging some jack off to a drinking competition. You were at a party, it was a spring break celebration. You open you’re eyes and are met with Billy fucking Loomis staring staight at you. You're naked, he’s presumably naked, and you’re laying in bed with him. 

Fuck.

You jump out of the bed, and search for your clothes. He begs you not go, and you’re surprised because he’s never been the type to beg.  He tells you that needs you, and that you’re the only thing that makes sense to him. But you ignore him, put on your clothes and leave.

Gonna have an early night

And you're startin' to bore me, baby

Why'd you only call me when you're high?

It’s been two days since you woke up in bed with Billy, and you hate yourself even more for falling for that trap again. It’s not too late at night, but he calls you. And surprisingly, you answer. 

“Hey,” You say.

“I fucking hate you.” He spits. He’s either high, drunk or both. You aren’t sure. But he sounds like he means it when he says it. “I was ready to give everything up for you, and you just wouldn’t fucking take it.” 

“I’m sorry Billy, But you know I can’t be with you. You’re with Sidney.”

“You’re a whore.”  

This shocks you, he’s never once called you a whore, he's never really been downright mean to you either. 

“What?”

“I mean it, I can’t believe I put my dick in you. You’re disgusting.” Before he can continue to shame you, you hang up. 

… "Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"

"Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"

He got high again, and all he can think about is you. So he calls you. And you don’t pick up. He calls again, and again. At this point he assumes you’ve blocked his number. So he just stops calling. 

"Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"

"Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"

He’s with Sidney when he gets the text. He’d just fucked her, and it wasn’t anything like it was with you. It didn’t satiate his urges, or calm him down. It just made him angrier. The text reads. ‘It’s over, for real this time. Don’t contact me again.’

And he doesn’t. 

[donotpush]

Bumpin' in Europe, 2

second part is here. it's been quite a while, so you might want to check part 1 here :) ALSO, some anons have sent asks with suggestions and stuff about the story, just know that i write them all down and i'll keep them in mind for the future ;)

“Yeah. Just tired. And hot. I mean, it's hot in here…”

So hot in here. You finally spoke, able to spit out a few cohesive words before cleaning your throat as your eyes wandered around the room, avoiding the woman in front of you. A safe one, talk about the weather.

“I haven't seen you in years! You’re all grown up now…” Monica said. “Your mom doesn’t really tells me much about you, but she’s right when she says you’re good looking”

Okay, you know what? There was nothing out of the ordinary in saying the truth, telling her she looked good, right? Everyone loved a compliment from time to time, and being kind was always cool.

“I look different, yeah. But you…” your words lingered in the air, and you waved your hand once again, this time pointing at her middle, tilting your head to emphasize the point. “You look different. I mean, you look amazing… congratulations on the baby.”

She got the point, and the ghost of a smile lingered on her lips for a moment before she looked down at her middle, her hand rubbing her stomach mindlessly. At least the elephant in the room was gone.

“Uh? You mean this?” Looking up at you, she frowned. “Oh. No, I'm not pregnant.”

You lifted your gaze from where it was fixed on the floor, and you swear you could almost feel the color draining from your face as your eyebrows raised and you stammered. Then, she laughed, throwing her head back.

“Just kidding, don't worry” she breathed, “Oh, look at you, poor thing. Of course I'm pregnant…”

Walking next to you with a promptitude that surprised you, all smooth and almost graceful movements, she leaned to grab a mug from the shelf on top of you. Standing on her tiptoes to reach Monica let out a small gasp as she did a visible effort to reach. Her shirt lifted, revealing a bit of her belly that was now right next to your face, and you found yourself with your eyes locked on the sink in front of you as if it were the most interesting thing in the room.

As she moved back, her hand rested on your shoulder for support before she briefly caressed your cheek with a reassuring laugh before she walked back towards the sink.

“Terribly pregnant…” she glanced at you over her shoulder before turning sideways and patting her stomach gently. “Twins, actually. Want some coffee?”

She dropped the fact as if it was nothing, an everyday thing. But you already knew that that was twins, you were just waiting for the official confirmation, and you couldn't help but bite your lip slightly at the thought.

“You and the father must be excited,” you said, trying to sound casual and failing miserably. It came out more like a question than anything else. “You both are, right? I mean… kid's always a blessing or whatever."

“Out of the picture,” she clicked her tongue, raising her eyebrows, but the tone was nonchalant. “In fact, I’m not even sure who the father is. Not that I care either way”. She paused for half a second before continuing, her fingers caressing distractedly her stomach, "We're fine as we are. They say three's a crowd".

Oh. For you, that only meant two things. First, Monica wasn’t taken. Not understandable. Who wouldn’t want to marry a woman like that?

And second, the way her tone was light and her face remained straight, free from all shame or from trying to keep a fake modesty as she spoke about who the baby’s daddy was, made you think that she was as sexually liberated as she looked.

Not like she would lack any chances of having a satisfactory sexual life. Even right now, with that heavily pregnant frame that seemed to be the only thing you could notice about her, you doubted she lacked admirers.

Men, women, you were sure she didn’t lack people that would want to share a bed with this woman.

With the last phrase, she turned to look over her shoulder to wink at you. A smirk played upon her lips before she looked away, bending over to pick up a bunch of bed sheets, and you stared at the back of her legs for a moment, your eyes wandering over to her ass.

"Oh, Monica, don't bother," you snapped out of your dumbfounded state as you rushed up to her, ready to help. “Let me take this." You grabbed two bundles of bedsheets from her arms, and after a moment of hesitation, she nodded silently in approval.

“Ah, darling, that's alright, I do love working on my own… but thank you,” She smiled back as she started walking towards the guest bedroom, with you following behind. "As much as I try to deny it, it's been getting harder and harder with this always on the way," she motioned towards the gravid bulge of her stomach. "Good thing you're here. Could use some help with a few things…" she finished, biting her lip and getting lost in thought for a moment.

You nodded slowly, letting out a small chuckle and scratching the side of your neck. The sound made you cringe internally. Well, at least you were having fun this far.

You helped her to tidy the bedroom a bit and soon you had a far better place to sleep than a room shared with a bunch of strangers.

You found yourself admiring the view outside as the sun started to set behind the mountains in the distance. The heat was starting to die down, but there was still that smell of summertime in the air, and you didn't remember the last time you sat outside like this.

"You will like it here" Monica interrupted your thoughts, startling you. "I know it seems a bit boring. But you have the beach, the food is great… you can go clubbing. There's a lot of people your age around."

You took the glass of lemonade in your hand and pressed it against your neck, leaning back into the chair before turning to stare at the woman.

She took a sip of her own drink, and you watched as she placed the glass on top of her protuberant stomach. Your breath caught in your throat as she leaned back distractedly, and lifted her shirt, placing the glass against the bare skin of her belly.

Monica sighed contently, her eyes closing, and you followed the trajectory of a drop of sweat from the glass that slid down her abdomen, running over her belly button before it disappeared on her waistline.

"So" she exhaled, turning to look at you. "What plans do you have for tonight?"

[daysofyellowroses]

HIHI IM HERE FOR SOME SLUTTYNESSSSSSS

I want readerxkerry (alt universe where he actually goes to the Olympics 🥹💖) but give me OLYMPIAN SMUTTTT I want reader to be like a gymnast or smth and he just can’t get over her cute little team USA leotard and she watches him training doin his little throwin stuff and she’s like 🥵💦 bc WHO WOULDNT BE FOR HIM?! so he sees her watching and ofc chats her up so they go back to Olympic village to hook upppp?!?! I KNOWWW they were bumpin like RABBITS in the 80s games - even in the 2010s they were giving out so many condoms like literal candy because they be fuuuuuckin lmaooo but give me filth - a step above overboard? TAKE ME THERE QUEEN!! 💦💦💦🫡

uhhhh this one is gonna kill me, it's gonna be absolute filth let me tell you 🫢 cus those olympians are crazy horny for sure so..no plot, just hormones 💗🫶🏻🌼

[banannabethchase]

Dizzy Fun - also on AO3

~

Matt's decided on another one of his experiments: drunk sex. But Adam is all about safety, and insists that Matt tell him every single thing he wants him to do while drunk.

~

Title from Glow by Snow Wife.

~

“I think,” Matt says, with no fanfare as he walks into their locker room, “that went well.”

Adam raises an eyebrow. “Really,” he says. “You think me losing went well?”

“You didn’t lose,” Matt says, straddling his lap. “You wrestled to a draw.” He leans down and kisses Adam. “Wait until you see what me and Nick are planning tonight.”

“Yeah, that’s – less than soothing.” Adam frowns. “Hey, am I allowed to call the two of you Nick and Matt still?”

Matt nods. “Of course. You’re special. I won’t put any limits on you.” He leans in and kisses Adam’s forehead. “Also, I want you to eff me when I’m drunk.”

Adam would have been less surprised if his mustache got up and walked away. “Pardon?”

“I’ve never been drunk,” Matt muses, sliding to the side of the couch. The white suit does nothing to hide the fact that he’s already hard. It’d be cute, flattering, if it wasn’t baffling. “And I was talking to Dax, and he mentioned that drunk sex can be fun.”

“You – you were talking to Dax?” Adam pinches himself. He’s definitely awake. “Why?”

“Well, technically, I was going to fine him and Cash for littering, but I heard his sex idea and I got distracted.”

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” Adam leans in and kisses Matt’s temple. “Truly, that’s the dumbest idea you’ve ever had. I’m surprised they didn’t kill you for eavesdropping.”

“They didn’t see me,” Matt explains. “The suit made me sort of blend into the wall.”

“Okay, that’s a stretch,” Adam says with a sigh.

“Why?”

“Your spray tan is so orange you look like a tangerine,” Adam answers.

Matt’s jaw drops. “Rude.”

“Accurate.”

“You can be both.”

Adam sighs. “I think it’s easier to think that, maybe, you were not on their minds at all and didn’t realize you were there.” He resists the urge to ask Matt about this new attitude. If he does, then Matt has the opening to ask Adam about how much rage Swerve has unleashed in him, and he’s not even sure if he could answer it for himself. “You sure you want to fuck drunk? You don’t even like going near alcohol.”

Matt shrugs. “New year, new me, dumbass.” He grins.

“Don’t – don’t throw my own words back at me, you monster.” Adam flicks Matt’s ear. Matt winces and pouts. “Well, if you want to, then you’ll have to tell me exactly what you want beforehand.”

“Eff me,” Matt says, like it’s obvious. “Like usual. Maybe meaner, like that one time.”

Adam rolls his eyes. “That’s so unclear.”

“Is not!” Matt says. “So, what do you think I’d like? Tequila? Or beer. I know you like beer.”

Adam thinks about it. “Do you actually want to, like, taste the alcohol? Or is it a means to an end?”

“Means to an end,” Matt says. “I’d like to get absolutely smashed and then you wreck me.”

Sighing, Adam puts an arm around Matt and pulls him in. “You’re out of your goddamned mind, you know that?”

“You say that now,” Matt says, and Adam thinks he can hear the devious smile in the back of his tone, “wait until later tonight.”

~

It’s odd. Adam’s usually the one covered in blood, if there’s any blood to be had at all. Something about the previously pristine suit now covered in bright red splotches gets to him.

“Out,” he says, yanking Matt in by the lapels, “of your fucking mind.” He keeps the kiss quick, because he’s pretty sure people are watching and he’s not super fond of putting on a different kind of show. “Let’s get you back to the hotel.”

“Okay!” Matt says. “Let me just – let’s finish Rampage.”

Adam and his boner resist the urge to tell Matt to fuck Rampage. “Alright. I’ll go get our stuff together.” He leans in, unable to resist this one part. “And you can tell me all about what you want me to do to you when you’re drunk.”

Matt’s shoulders wiggle, clearly trying to fight off a shiver. “Okay.”

Adam’s whistling as he gets backstage, and avoids bumping into anyone. He’s not sure he’ll be able to quell his boner.

He watches Matt and Nick go absolutely out of their minds on the Rampage taping. Something about the blood still on the suits, the shift from Matt’s emotional chaos to something calm but still unhinged, is intriguing.

By the time anyone else gets back to the room, Adam’s picked up and packed away all of their stuff, leaving Nick’s things neatly organized but not put away.

“You hire a maid or something,” Nick asks, frowning. “The eff happened in here?”

“Nah,” Adam replies. “Wanted to get out of here sooner rather than later.”

“Jesus,” Nick groans. “I wish I was worse at figuring out when they two of you are doing one of your experiments.”

“This one is not mine,” Adam says firmly.

“That is worse,” Nick says, lowering himself onto the couch. “You see how knowing it’s my brother’s weird sex plan is worse, right?”

“Go fuck Claudio,” Adam suggests.

Nick rolls his eyes. “Please. He’s decided to make things official with Breeze.”

“He has?” Adam asks. “Are you – are you okay?” He frowns. “Like, didn’t you two have a thing for a while.”

“I’m good,” Nick says, and he looks it. “He’s younger than I think I want.” Adam’s about to ask if that means he’s going back to Christian, but then Matt skips in. “Okay!” he says, hair still wet from his post-match shower. “Ready!”

“Leaving,” Nick says, hands in the air. “I don’t want to know.”

Matt squishes himself along Adam. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Adam adjusts the backpack on his shoulder. “You sure are eager.”

“I have things to tell you,” Matt says. He somehow leans in even closer. “Sexy things.”

“Quit being horny at work,” Adam says, laughing as they leave the room. But he should probably tell himself the same. It’s all he can do not to drag them two of them in a random closet. Adam’s on Matt the second they get to the hotel room, dropping the bags on the floor before the door’s even swung shut. He’s lucky Matt’s finally stopped with the whole flirting with maître d’s – it makes it easier to get him where he wants him.

“What do you want?” Adam asks, shoving Matt against the wall. “When you’re drunk, what do you want me to do?”

“Surprise,” Matt murmurs. He keeps leaning in to kiss Adam, but Adam tilts his head. Matt latches on, biting, and Adam laughs.

“C’mon, baby, with something like this, I gotta know all the little details.” He slides his hands down the back of Matt’s sweatpants to get a handful of his ass. “Otherwise it’s a no.”

Matt whines and pulls away. “A no?”

“You gotta tell me what you want,” Adam says. “Or, maybe better, show me.”

Matt presses his lips together and nods. “I, um.” He swallows. Adam fights back his grin – he loves making Matt verbalizes his desires, loves making sure Matt knows that’s part of the fun. It’s interesting to watch Matt struggle with this one – almost like he didn’t think quite about what it all entails.

“Well, first,” he starts off, “I want you to sort of, I don’t know, carry me in here?”

“Can do.” Adam bends and lifts Matt in his arms. “Like this?”

Matt rolls his eyes. “This is more bridal carry than fireman, but I’ll take it for now.”

“Noted.” With a grunt, Adam adjusts Matt so he’s flung over his shoulder.

“Yes, like that,” Matt says. “Then you’ll throw me onto the bed, once the door’s closed and everything."

Adam does as Matt suggests, Matt bouncing off the mattress. “Now what?”

“You, um.” Matt flames red. “I’ll be a little out of it, right?”

“Maybe,” Adam says. He actually isn’t sure how much he’ll let Matt drink – no more than three over the hour, at the absolute limit. He doesn’t want Matt to be sick. But he’ll watch it in the moment. “More like loose and silly. Maybe a little weepy. We won’t know until it happens, but I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

Matt nods. “But, like,” and his eyes start to sparkle, “I’ll need help getting out of my clothes.” He flops like a starfish on the bed. “Maybe the buttons are too hard for me.”

“Oh, you want me to undress you,” Adam says. “I can do that.” He locks eyes with Matt and takes his time. Matt’s not wearing anything with buttons – just a tee shirt and sweats, but he takes his time untying the drawstring, shuffling the pants down, pulling the shirt over Matt’s head. “And your boxers?”

“I don’t want to wear any.”

“Okay, that’s mean,” Adam says, sighing. “You – you’re wearing them now, but you ruined the surprise for the night we do it? Mean.”

“Maybe it was time we flipped the script.” Matt looks pleased with himself, almost haughty. “Boxers off, please.”

Adam does what he’s asked. “Jesus, you’re already ready to go.”

“Shut up,” Matt says, flaming pink. “You would be, too.”

Adam leans back on his knees on the bed. “Now what would you like.”

“Well,” Matt says. “Eff me. Obviously.”

Adam grins, shoving his pants down his hips. He pulls his shirt off over his head as he steps out of his jeans. “Obviously, huh.”

“May – maybe with me on my back?” Matt stretches out on the bed, arms over his head. “Legs up around your shoulders?”

“We could make that happen.” Adam steps over to Matt’s bedside table.

“I got it,” Matt says, eager. He pulls the drawer open and slams it closed before Adam can even see what he grabbed. “I’ll want it fast, so you should get me ready all fast, too.” He sits up and shoves the bottle of lube into Adam’s hand.

“You always want it fast,” Adam says, tsking. “How?”

“This part maybe…” He trails off and rolls over, pushing his ass in the air. “Like this.”

Adam slides a slide finger between Matt’s cheeks. He moans. “Oh, okay. I like that. Can – can you – maybe…” He cuts off with a gasp as Adam traces his rim.

“C’mon,” Adam encourages. “What?”

“Smack my – my ass,” Matt says. “Handprint?”

Adam pulls back and smacks Matt hard enough to rock him forward on his knees.

“Just like that,” Matt murmurs. He throws a grin over his shoulder, and it’s almost cute enough to forget about the godforsaken facial hair. “Come on.”

Adam gives in, working one and then two fingers in Matt. “Like this?” he asks, with another light slap.

“I think this is exactly what I’ll want,” Matt breathes. “But – now. Eff me now.”

“You sure?” Adam asks teasing a third finger. “You’re ready?” The next slap sounds almost as loud as Matt’s moan.

“Yes, I am,” Matt says. When Adam pulls his fingers free, Matt flips on his back and lifts his hips. “Let’s go, big man.”

Adam reacts to that more intensely than he’d expected and he’s lined up to slide home before he knows it. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Matt breathes. “Just like this, when I’m drunk. And no, I don’t want a condom.”

“Noted,” Adam says, and he pushes in. He breathes with it. “God, you always feel so good,” he mumbles, circling his hips. Matt’s legs are around his ribs, not his shoulders, but the angle is working so he isn’t going to change it. Matt’s hands are braced on the bed, balanced on his shoulders.

“Your balance is ridiculous,” Adam mentioned.

“Okay, workout routine compliments, not sexy for when we have drunk sex,” Matt says.

“You also probably won’t be able to make that,” Adam nods at the shoulder lift, “happen if you’re trashed.” Matt pouts. “What? You want it to be realistic, right? And I want to make sure I know exactly what you want.”

Matt sighs and relaxes a little, then rolls his eyes back. “Oh, my god.”

“What?”

“Good – good angle, keep doing that.”

Adam’s not one to deny Matt the last brownie, let alone this.

“Like this,” Matt says. “Go. Go wild on me.”

Adam thinks he does his best, but Matt’s face isn’t as screwed up as it can be.

“C’mon,” Matt begs. “I want it harder. I’ll want you to make it hard for me to walk in the morning.” He moans when Adam snaps his lips. “I’ll – I’ll want you to do whatever you want to me, I always do.”

Adam’s brain spins. “Yeah?”

“All the time,” Matt breathes. “Do you want me all the time?” His pupils are massive, eclipsing any of the dark doe brown Adam feel in love with so many years ago.

“Always,” Adam says, voice low. And it’s true. “I always want you, Matt.”

“You do?” Matt asks, mewling when Adam hikes his legs up a little higher, dropping his calves on Adam’s shoulders. “You want me?”

“I want you,” Adam promises. “Sometimes I see you out there in the ring and I want – I want to stomp out there and fuck you, just like this, while the cameras roll.” He rolls his hips, frantic, insistent.

“You should.” Matt’s hands are twisted in the sheets, eyes screwed shut. “Wednesday, you should.”

“Yeah?” Adam says. “We’d get arrested.”

“Worth it,” Matt laughs. Adam wants to burn that smile in the back of his eyelids. “I’d let you do anything to me.” He opens his eyes, and his smile turns sweet. “I know you’d take care of me.”

“Fucking Christ, Matty,” Adam shoves himself so deeply inside of Matt he thinks they may never disconnect. He comes harder than he possibly has in his life, falling forward and nearly collapsing on Matt. “Fuck,” he whines. “Hold on.”

He takes three deep breathes, trying to get his gravity back centered to the earth instead of to Matt. “Don’t worry, baby,” he sighs, “I’ll do anything you want. After I fuck you, if I come first what do you want me to do?”

“Oh my god,” Matt breathes. “I – put your mouth on me. L-lick me out.” He whimpers.

“Oh your knees, baby,” Adam says. Matt’s dick is heavy and red as he flips over. “I’ll clean you up so good.”

Matt’s thighs are shaking. “Please. Just – just like you will when I’m drunk.”

Adam dives in, licking up his own mess from Matt. Matt immediately yells. “Good yell?” Adam asks, freezing.

“I’m not gonna last,” Matt moans. “I’m – you’re not going to be able to – Adam, please.”

“Any time you beg,” Adam says, reaching his hand under Matt and wrapping it around Matt, “I can’t say no to you.”

Matt sobs as he comes, Adam having done almost nothing to get him there, and Adam takes pity on him. He gets up on the bed and pulls Matt against him, feeling Matt slump against him as his hips work weakly through the last spurts of come.

“I think,” Matt whimpers, “that might be – the…” He trails off and drops his head back against Adam’s chest. It’s almost enough to knock Adam over, but he forces himself to stay upright. For both of them. “I can’t wait to do that drunk.”

“Yeah?” Adam says. He presses a kiss to Matt’s temple. “You had fun?”

“Adam,” Matt says. “That was amazing.” A little floppy, he turns around to throw those eyes in Adam’s direction. “I can’t – that was so good.” He beams, like Adam’s given him the best fuck of his life. “I can’t believe I get to have you all the time.”

“How are you just now realizing this?” Adam shifts them so they can fall down on the bed together. Adam’s sure to gently shift his hips  “We live together now. Of course all the time.”

Matt rolls over and pulls him in. “Yeah, but it’s real,” Matt mumbles. Adam’s sure he added something else, but it’s muffled.

“Come again?”

“Love you,” Matt says into Adam’s chest. But Adam’s pretty sure he’d said something else.

~

All the time, Adam realizes, may have been a bit of a misnomer. The next days are incredibly busy, with the Bucks continuing their batshit crazy tirades and Adam struggling to keep his head on straight during his path to Revolution.

It’s a Saturday afternoon, after the Bucks fined Tony on Rampage, when Adam’s sure he’s recovered from a mildly twisted ankle, that Matt comes in from the garage gym with a smile on his face.

“You look happy,” Adam says, setting his book down. “You never look happy after a leg day.”

“Can I get drunk tonight?”

Adam blinks. “Like. Drunk fucking, drunk?”

Matt nods. “I think it’s time. We’ve had a rough week, what with the fining people and everything.” He crawls onto the bed, still sweaty, and straddles Adam’s hips through the sheets.

“You’re gross,” Adam says. “Not because of the fucking thing, but because you’re covered in sweat and I just washed the duvet.”

“Not the worst thing we’ve gotten on here.” Matt winks and leans in, kissing Adam. “Your hair’s a mess.”

“So is yours!” Adam pokes him in the chest. Firm. “I could have still be napping. I can’t believe you walked in here so loud when I could have been napping.”

“You were sitting up and the light was on.” Matt swings his legs to the side and shoves his pants down his legs. Adam immediately forgets any complaint that had been on his mind. “Plus, I have a feeling you’re not complaining right now.”

Adam sighs and marks his book, putting it down to the side. “Get in the shower,” he says. He gets out of bed and throws his clothes to the ground. “Now I’m forced to blow you.”

Matt grins up at him. “I can play you like a fiddle.”

“Fuck off and let me blow you like a flute.”

“Okay!”

~

Matt’s looking impossibly good when they get to the bar. With both of their hair up and back, and Matt’s stupid goatee, it’s reasonable to assume that they’re close to anonymous in the dark light. It’s not Adam’s favorite place, a dive bar with low lighting and conversation the more dominant sound over the music, but instead a dance club with top forty cranking out the speakers. He used to come here a lot.

“I’m going to need a drink if I’m going to handle this much…people,” Matt says, wrinkling his nose. He’s yelling to be heard over the music. “I’ve been googling.”

“Googling what?” Adam asks. Matt grabs his hand and yanks him through the throng of people, stopping them at the bar. It’s not necessarily a gay bar, but the bartender gets one look at Matt and grins.

“What’ll you have, gorgeous?” he asks, grinning.

“An Adios Motherfucker, please.” He looks over at Adam. “And a Dos Equis, as well.”

Adam blinks. “The fuck did you just say?”

Matt’s still looking at the bartender, who nods.

“You got it.” He winks.

Adam yanks Matt back, just for a second, so his back lines up against Adam’s chest. “Quit flirting with those booboo eyes,” he murmurs into Matt’s ear.

“It’s getting me my drink sooner,” Matt says, rolling his ass back against Adam’s crotch. It isn’t not working. “Sooner I’m drunk, the sooner you get to fuck me.”

Adam sighs. “I just blew you, like, three hours ago.” He kisses the side of Matt’s head. “How are you already this horny?”

Matt swivels his hips. “Seems like I’m not the only one.” He throws a grin over his shoulder as he steps forward and leans against the bar. At least Adam gets a good look at his favorite ass in the world.

He must have been staring for a minute, because he snaps it out of it as Matt gives the beer to Adam. “Are you complaining?”

“Not even a little bit,” Adam says. He takes a sip. He wants to make this one last – he doesn’t want to miss a minute of this night. Especially if Matt goes overboard.

And Matt does. Not necessarily with the drinking, but he throws out some dance moves that would be embarrassing if he was sober. The neon blue drink is drained slowly but surely, and Matt’s done before Adam’s even gotten halfway through his own.

“I want another,” Matt says, when the drink is done. He’s grinding up against Adam to some pop song Adam doesn’t know, and he doesn’t care. All Adam can focus on is the feel of Matt against him. His beer got set down a while ago, forgotten and half-drunk in some corner.

The song ends and blends into something else high energy, and Matt turns around. His eyes are sparkling, face pink. “I,” Matt says, glowing with the alcohol flush, “think you’re really hot.”

“I know that,” Adam says, grinning. “You tell me a lot.”

“But, like,” Matt says, swaying. He flops into Adam’s chest. “It’s not fair. You got…” He grabs Adam’s shoulders. “There’s so much of you. And your arms? And these?” He pokes at Adam’s pecs. “I should fuck them again. That was fun.”

“Drunk Matt swears,” Adam chuckles. “Good to know.”

“I swear!” Matt argues. “I swear, like, all the time, with you.”

“Only when you’re real far gone,” Adam replies.

“I think I’m kind of far gone right now,” Matt says.

“Yeah?” Adam asks. He tucks a lock of hair behind Matt’s ear. “You ready to go?”

Matt’s face turns into an exaggerated version of his most thoughtful expression. “Not quite,” he decides. “I want another one. Another alcohol, I mean.”

“Another – another alcohol?” Adam asks. “You mean another drink.”

“Right!” Matt says. “Another one of those adios motherfucker things.”

“No,” Adam says firmly. “I looked up the ingredients of that thing. We’re not giving you a second of those death traps. Something lighter.”

“It actually tasted like blue,” Matt muses as they shuffle back to the bar. “I never quite understood what people meant when they said that, but it really did just taste blue.”

“Yeah, it also tastes like everybody’s worst decision they’ve ever made,” Adam mumbles. He turns to the bartender. “Jack and Coke, heavy on the Coke, please.”

Matt giggles behind him.

“What?”

“Jack and Coke, but I mixed it up in my head and said joke and cock.”

“You’re a disaster.”

Matt beams at him. “I love you, too.”

Adam watches him as he sips the drink, bopping gently to the music. “Do you want to dance some more?” he asks. “I mean, we’re at a dance bar. Might as well really get into it.”

Matt’s eyes light up. “Yes!” he says. “You never want to dance. You’re dancing so much tonight.”

“I’m never in this kinda situation.” The two of them make their way to the dance floor and Matt immediately clings to Adam, a leg between Adam’s. “Damn, you’re handsy.”

“I’m not handsy,” Matt says. “I’m legsy.” He pushes his thigh up. Adam almost chokes at the friction.

“Christ, baby, we’re in public.” He leans in and kisses Matt’s forehead. “Fuck. I love you.”

Matt beams at him, eyes growing shiny. “You really do, don’t you.” He sighs. “I can’t believe you love me.”

“You should,” Adam says, yanking Matt closer. He takes the drink from Matt’s hand. He’s had enough. “You’re, like, my favorite person.”

Matt makes a weird little hiccup. “I am?”

“Course,” Adam says. “Are you crying?”

“No,” Matt says, hardly audible over the pounding music. He rubs at his eyes. “You should take me home and have sex with – with me now.” He buries his face in Adam’s chest.

“Holy shit,” Adam says. He rubs Matt’s back, fighting a laugh. “You are crying.”

“Am not!” Matt wails. “I’m fine! I want you to do whatever – whatever you want.” He looks up. “I love you so much,” he says. “I wanna keep you. Forever.”

“Okay, we’re going home,” Adam says. “C’mon. Let me close the tab.”

“Okay,” Matt says, beaming through tears. “And then you’re gonna go bananas on me?”

“Sure, baby,” Adam says, but he’s pretty sure the night holds other plans.

Matt’s humming something under his breath as they drive home, head on Adam’s shoulder. Adam’s forced to make the small talk with the Lyft driver while Matt sings, rambling about some football game a few weeks back he can barely remember. They’re lucky the club was only a few minutes from their home – Matt very slowly crawls his hand up Adam’s thigh.

“Thanks, Alex,” he says, waving to the Lyft driver. He puts in the rating and tip as Alex drives away, feeling Matt’s hands crawl up the back of his shirt.

“Okay, what are you doing?” Adam chuckles. He turns to catch Matt’s hands before they dip down into his jeans. “You’re really handsy.”

“I’m really horny,” Matt says, throwing baby cow eyes. “You should fuck me.”

Adam sighs, pulling Matt in, hands on Matt’s hips. His shirt is so thin it barely counts as a barrier.

Matt’s humming kicks up again.

“Okay, what are you singing?”

“’Cause every time we touch I feel the static,” Matt warbles. A man of many talents, his love, but singing is not one of them. “And every time I – touch you swear I can fly.”

“Those are not the correct lyrics,” Adam says firmly.

“Don’t care,” Matt says. He’s walking all weird, like he’s trying to walk a straight line but failing. “I think I’m drunk, Adam.”

“Astute observation,” Adam says, and Matt doesn’t get a chance to retort before he falls backward. “Graceful.”

“My butt’s broken,” Matt says, draping himself over the front porch steps. “And not in the fun way.”

“Get up,” Adam laughs.

“Wait! I was singing to you,” Matt says. He clears his throat and begins belting what is someone an even worse rendition of My Heart Will Go On than anything Adam’s heard.

“Oh, my god,” Adam says, shoving Matt into the house. “We’re not that far isolated, you lunatic. My neighbors are gonna call the cops.”

Matt is too busy falling over taking off his shoes to respond. “Jesus – help?” he pleads to Adam.

“I got you,” Adam says. He kisses Matt’s forehead before lifting him in a bridal carry. “How’s this?”

“I wanted the fireman,” Matt says, pouting.”

“If I did that, you might throw up,” Adam deadpans.

“Good point.” Matt flings his arms around Adam’s neck. “Speaking of bridal carries, remind me to say something later.”

“Say what?” Adam asks. He walks them into the bedroom and rests Matt on the bed. Matt flops like Gumby.

“Keep you,” Matt says. “Got a – I am not supposed to say, it’s a surprise.” He stops talking and his eyes fill again, beaming at Adam. “You know I love you, right?”

It takes Adam a few seconds to process. “A surprise?”

“Yeah,” Matt mumbles, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. “Buttons are confusing.”

“Surprise?” Adam asks, his heart racing. “What kind of surprise?”

Matt waves him off. “I have issues even when I’m sober. I shouldn’t be allowed to use buttons.” He beams up at Adam. “I love you forever.”

Adam debates whether or not to push. The part of him that needs to know everything wants to get an answer, to know so he can do it first if Matt really is thinking of proposing. The more rational side of him is telling him to shut up and leave it alone.

“Adam,” Matt whines. “Help me get naked. My limbs aren’t working.”

“Yeah, you’re going to sleep,” Adam says. “Come here.”

“Want you to rail me.” Matt’s whining even harder now. “Please?” He tries to level Adam with boo boo eyes, but he’s hit the stage Adam is all too familiar with. His eyes are fighting to stay open. “I –” He interrupts himself with yawn. “Oh. I want to have sex. Right now.”

“You’re going to fall asleep in the next few minutes,” Adam assures him. “Stay right there. I’m going to get you some water. Some of that coconut water you like.”

“I like coconut water,” Matt says. He hasn’t moved from where he’s sprawled on the bed. “You should give me coconut water and then we get naked.”

“Sure,” Adam says. “So I can tuck you into bed.”

Matt’s harruph is adorably limp as Adam gets to the kitchen. He grabs the best options to keep Matt from a hangover in the morning, unwilling to deal with someone else’s vomit if it’s going to be as blue as Matt’s, and comes back into the bedroom.

“’m still wake,” Matt mumbles.

“Drink some water,” Adam says firmly.

Matt grins at him. “Make me.”

“Don’t threaten me with taking care of you,” Adam scoffs. He gets behind Matt and props him up. “I know you’re faking these noodle arms. Come on, take a sip.”

Matt’s sigh is dramatic as anything as he slumps against Adam’s chest and sips. “Water’s good,” he says. “Like you.”

“Thanks, babe.”

Matt finishes the glass of water and then curls up in Adam’s lap. “Okay,” he mumbles. “I think I’m tired.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” Adam leans down and presses a kiss to the top of Matt’s head. “I’ll grab you some sweats.”

“Don’t need ‘em,” Matt slurs. “Bedtime.” He shucks off his jeans and chucks them in the corner, snuggling his boxered self under the covers. He looks up at Adam with sleepy eyes and a smile. “Kiss?”

“Course, baby.” It’s less than Matt had been hoping for that night, but he sighs into it anyway. “Goodnight.”

“Come to bed soon,” Matt mumbles, but he splays out and starts snoring almost before Adam can get the blanket up around his shoulders.

~

“That was the worst idea of my life.”

Adam yawns and turns over. “What time is it?” he mumbles. “It’s still dark out.”

“Four thirty,” Matt says, “but my head hurts and my mouth tastes horrible.” When he turns on the light, Adam has to blink a few times to really see the pinched expression. “Fix it.”

“Fix it?” Adam interrupts his laughter with a yawn. “Baby, you literally asked for this.”

“I asked you to eff me stupid while I was drunk,” Matt says, kicking at Adam’s shin under the blankets. “Not feed me radioactive slime that gives me rancid heartburn.”

“That’s on you,” Adam counters. “You insisted on the drink that would mess you up the most and the bartender listened to you.” He gently yanks some hair from over Matt’s shoulder. “Take a shower. You’ll feel better.” He nods over to the bedside table. “And take those Tums.”

“I want to sleep,” Matt whines.

“Nobody’s stopping you,” Adam says. He slides back into bed, getting comfortable. “If you’re gonna puke, make sure to drink water after. Love you.”

He hears Matt sigh. “You really do, don’t you.”

Adam grins and fumbles with the handle of his bedside drawer.

But then Matt turns out the light, and Adam decides it can wait, knowing Matt’s planning something, too.

~

Mini Playlist: Do Me - Kim Petras GLOW - Snow Wife TikTok - Ke$ha Why Don't We Get Drunk - Jimmy Buffett

Disclaimer from me and also the Sara from February of 2020: Don't drink an Adios Motherfucker if you want to maintain any dignity. Ever.m

[skitariiposting]

Finished this song and got really excited to post it. But like almost all of my stuff, I showed it to my friend beforehand and he went "Why is the Fortnite default dance song in there?" and now I can't unhear it. Back to the drawing board.

[whimsical-westbrook]

[A video is attached!]

[Video ID: Multiple relatively-unpolished shots of Lily the Buizel, bedecked in a rather ridiculous outfit: A captain's hat, a beach shirt, and shutter shades. In each shot, the buizel is skating around various parts of Goldenrod City and the nearby routes, using her twin tails to propel enough so as not to lose speed or need to stick her paw down and push. Stanced whatever way lets her face the camera, on her hind legs with her forepaws tucked into pockets on the shirt, she attempts to exude Skater Energy. Occasionally, Abigail (@skating-mienfoo-fiend) is seen skating alongside.

The entire video is set to a... Ska, song???

End Video ID.]

----------------------------

I think, once I actually get the confidence to try Fancy Stuff, I'll do a more polished vid set to a more bumpin' track.

Uh. happy fool's day, the song I chose is very silly? Except it was always the song I was gonna use cuz I'm a doofus.

This is, absolutely, my skating outfit now, tho.

[hermesserpent-stuff]

What role does the symbiote/Venom play in the Apprentice AU?

Does Quentin put the pieces together sooner? Does the symbiote, & by extension Eddie feel jealous of Quentin for 'taking Peter away'?

Ooh!! Okay so things are a bit different from the show in a few ways by the point the symbiote comes to earth, which shakes up everything. SO lets hit the highlights and i hope this makes sense, please let me know if it doesnt. All subject to change  but this is how i think it will go. (also if some of the ideas are probably accidentally stolen im very sorry @kzele, you are amazing talking about characters and their reactions so inspired credit goes here as a blanket) 

1. Peter turns down the initial offer from the Connors lab. He does not have the time and he honestly feels like he wants to go into computer tech and coding when he grows up rather than anything with bio-chemistry. Not that he dislikes the subject!! He just wants to focus on growing his tech skills. Quentin has also introduced him to the patent process and he owns at least one. 

The fact that it was not paid really did not help sell it. So he can't have been fired after the lizard incident because he was never hired. Whoot whoot. 

2. Stepping backwards in time; if I understand the plot line of the show,  Peter is bit a year before the show. In the first episode, a teacher says it was ‘last year’ but i know American teachers who refer to january as ‘last year’ since its previous school year. so it happened in March or May. I would put Peter meeting Quentin a while before that in like October the year before. 

So this is a clearer time line:

Peter meets Quentin, Eddie has conflicted feelings when he finds out that Peter has found a mentor (jealousy that peters time is taken up by others, jealousy that peter found another adult that cared about him), Then the trip to the lab where peter gets bit happens in late march. Peter figures out his powers and really really wants to make some money with this. He says nothing to Quentin or his uncle or aunt about it. Then Uncle ben gets shot in may. Peter goes mute and focuses on becoming spiderman. Gets the crook. SUMMER. Peter ends up taking some photos and Quentin convinces him to have a photographer ‘pen’ name. Its a bit of extra cash on the side while he works towards creating stuff.

After the summer Eddie is a freshman in college and is at the lab working. Gwen comes to work there. Peter does not. 

Eddie has been sorta in and out of contact ever since he graduated, but does call up peter every once in a while and is a little disappointed his “bro” didnt jump at the opportunity. He goes to talk to Peter about it and Peter gives a little shrug and shows off one of his Kinkajou drones and eagerly talks about the new career he wants. And Eddie sort of gets it.

3. Since there is no bad blood, Eddie does manage to swing getting Peter to look at the alien. From a distance!! And Peter keeps that distance, but is super excited. Eddie is really happy to have given his friend an opportunity most people cannot provide.  (he notices peters bumps and bruises and is super worried, has been since the end of the summer.)

4. Sadly. It escapes. Because black cat still is a person who wants to crime. So she crimes. It latches onto Peter, and is able to spend a few days with him. Then Peter pops into Quentin’s lab one day while Quentin has the music bumpin. And its a little louder than spider senses like and is way more than the symbiote likes. Peter feels the pain in his brain and ends up falling over as it tries to hold on. Quentin puts it in a strong container and then rouses Peter. Peter is like!!! Back to the lab!!! 

He gets it back to the lab and relocks it in. Eddie sees Spidey doing this. Spidey, since there has been no major incident doensnt try to murder it. However, it does escape onto eddie and feeds on his insecurity of being alone in college and Peter moving on and all the stress of trying to manage his life. He can have peter as his bestie again. They’ll be close brothers again. And peter will stop showing up with bruises. The symbiote promises. 

At this point i think venom would beef with mysterio and be his main villain instead of spidey lol and mysterio’s just out here trying to be a grey villain anti hero thing. Venom also tries to get spidey off the streets. To protect peter. Never mind what peter wants lol

[0junemeatcleaver0]

Ok, babe, gonna try to do this without spoilers. But here we go:

The normies have really been freaking out about this one and like...it's not anything to freak out about re: the psychosexual stuff. Like, it's not as wild as they seem to think it is.

But that doesn't stop it from being a really good time!!! I had so much fucking fun watching this movie from, like, 15 minutes onward. The only thing that made the first 15 minutes difficult for me to watch was the realism of it--Oliver is so painfully an outsider that it physically hurts to watch.

Speaking of, there are few things that make me experience secondhand embarrassment or really make me squirm uncomfortably. But those things do exist and they're both in this movie and no one warned me because everyone who has never been on AO3 was too busy talking about the bathtub scene: social isolation at school and wrong side of the tracks fish out of water syndrome. This movie has both in spades for the first, like, 45 minutes.

And as I said, the writing and acting are so good and realistic that it was downright painful. Which is great--that's what they were going for and they nailed it. It was just difficult to know what I was heading into before hand because everyone was talking about other stuff.

Speaking of something that got overlooked in all the hype: I've yet to hear anyone talk about how wickedly funny this film is?? It's a thriller for sure but the darkly comedic elements are they and they really shine.

It's set in '06 and the mid-naughts glitz and sleaze is so fucking perfect. There are some real throwbacks culture wise but it never distracts, just adds to the ambiance.

What else...Rosamund Pike is phenomenal, as per. Plays the perfect WASP. Fucking kills it. But then again, everyone is acting their asses off in this.

Everyone wants to talk about the 'shocking' scenes but I think my favorite (you'll know it when you watch it) is the lunch scene. The red one? Yeah. Incredible writing, incredible acting.

Cinematography? Beautiful. Soundtrack? Bumpin'. Sound was also great, I was very impressed by the fact that it was the first modern film I've watched in a long time that wasn't mixed like pure dookie garbage. The music was never too loud that you couldn't hear dialogue (unless explicitly by design), nor were any diegetic sounds treated like a freight train barrelling through your living room. Wardrobe also fucking smashed it. Set dec was on point.

My only gripe is that it was 2 hours long. I know that's how long movies are nowadays. It didn't stop me from needing to get up every 15-30 minutes to stretch my legs or smoke a cigarette. That being said, the movie is very character driven which I think is best for a two hour run time, as it allows tension to build and arcs to unfold, etc. So ultimately it's fine bc that's a me-specific gripe and the pacing was actually very good.

It's not groundbreaking cinema by any means but it's a tightly contained story that had me thoroughly entertained. 10/10 for a fun, fucked up little movie.

And @apoptoses if you watch it you gotta come yell at me about it because I cannot wait for someone I know to have seen it.

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

finally remembered to actually draw this idea that's been bumpin around for the past like... two months... My somewhat belated submission for @spidersociety-rejects — hopefully there will be enough submissions to print a second zine 🤞 but for now i'm just slappin it up on tumblr

this looks fancier than it is... only took a couple of hours, and all the tone on the b&w version is just the layer settings lol — i thought it would look nicer with some texture ✨

technically this is meant to be the tippy top of the space needle but i took some creative liberties for the color version and made the light yellow, because i didn't like how it looked with the red aircraft beacon lol

here's some closeups:

it's hard to find photos of the antenna and stuff on top of the space needle that are detailed enough to actually figure out what's going on up there, so i kind of had to guess/make shit up.

slap some black shapes down and add some random lines, voila, electrical boxes😂 benefits of choosing to make this drawing mostly silhouettes.

[asterkiss]

- Maybe

‘we both got kicked out of our rooms because our roommates are having sex so now we’re standing in the hallway avoiding each other’ AU Have a random and quickly written thing.

'What are you doing?'

Mabel raised her head from her position on the floor, currently seated in a cold dormitory hallway with her back against the wall and legs spread out across the floor. It wasn't like she was blocking the way or anything though - people could easily step over.

In her hands she had a ball of sparkly red yarn and two knitting needles. She smiled up at the stranger, holding up a partially finished sweater. 'Knitting! Also, hi!'

The young man frowned at her energetic response, no doubt wondering how she was so upbeat this late at night.

'Alright, but why in the middle of the corridor? And at midnight?'

'Ooh, well that's a long a story that starts with me, my roomate and this guy we met in a bar three weeks ago-'

'Bye.' He began to walk off and Mabel leaned forward.

'Wait, wait! Fine, I'll give the short version!!' It was nice having someone to talk to after being out here alone so far, she didn't want him to leave. She blew air out between her lips before sighing as the guy regarded her neutrally. 'My roomate's, how should I say this?' She paused, clasping her hands together in front of her as she considered for a moment. 'She's.... enjoying some adult naptime with her friend.'

An arched eyebrow. 'You mean they're bumpin' uglies?'

She flushed. 'Um.... yeah.'

The guy snorted, leaning against the wall opposite as he folded his arms with a wry grin. 'Ditto. My roommate likes to slime the banana with his girlfriend often.'

Mabel made a face. 'Gross, gross, gross! Do you have to phrase it like that?'

'I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I was speakin' to a grandma.' His gaze dropped down to the stuff in her lap. 'Though I guess the crochet kit should have been a guess.'

'This is knitting, not crochet. There's a difference!' Mabel huffed before forcing herself to calm down. Cm'on Mabel, be the bigger person. Maybe this was guy was just having a bad day and that's why he was being an ass - he'd been kicked out of his room too, after all. Let's try this again. 'I haven't seen you around before, who are you?'

'That's cuz I spend most of my time in the science lab,' he quipped back. 'And it's Bill.'

Mabel set her knitting stuff aside and pushed herself to her feet, smiling brightly as she offered a hand. 'Nice to meet you Bill, I'm Mabel.'

The fellow student eyed her hand warily. Mabel wiggled her fingers enticingly as she grinned. 'It's okay, I don't bite. Promise.'

He seemed reluctant but eventually took her hand, giving it a brief shake. 'Do you often find yourself kicked out at night?'

'Nope! Tonight's the first time so I don't mind. I was happy to stay in the bathroom whilst they went at it but apparently I was being distracting so they kicked me out.'

'Distracting, how?'

'Well, I was just making a few sound effects to lighten the mood y'know? And then I was shouting encouraging words at the guy 'cuz it seemed he was doing a real good job from what I could hear.'

'That's god damn hilarious,' Bill said, cackling. 'Can you come do that to my roommie? He'd love it!'

Mabel cocked her head. His words were nice but why did she feel like he was being sarcastic?

As he recovered, Bill flashed her a boyish smile that made her heart skip a beat. Oh, he actually looked quite handsome when he wasn't pulling a face. She hadn't been granted the chance to notice until now.

'Mabel, was it? I'll see ya around.' He turned and began walking away and the brunette stared after him.

'Wait!'

She rummaged in her pockets as he paused to turn back. Procuring a pink gel pen she chased after him, grabbing his arm and scribbling.

'....What are ya doin?'

She pulled back and flashed him a smile, capping her pen. 'Leaving my number.' Wink.

He stared.

She grinned back.

'Do you give your number to every guy you meet?' he asked pointedly.

'No!' Well, not anymore. A few years ago when she'd been boy-crazy she more or less had. This was the first time in five weeks she'd handed it out - that must be some kind of record!

'Hm. Well, I'll call ya if I need your services with Pine Tree.'

'Who?'

'My roommate,' he clarified as he swivelled around and continued walking away again.

'Oh. Well, yeah... that or, um, any other service!'

He stopped.

'Ah wait, oops, not like that!' she yelled, face turning red as she abruptly realised how that sounded and shook her hands in front of her frantically. 'I mean just like... a date or coffee or something. Ha ha.'

Bill glanced over his shoulder, blue eyes meeting hers in a scrutinising manner. She laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her head. Smooth Mabel, real smooth.

But then he surprised her with his response:

'Maybe,' he muttered before walking away once and for all. Mabel remained standing in the corridor alone, chest fluttering.

Maybe, huh?

Maybe was good. Maybe was promising. She could definitely work with "maybe"!

Ooh, she should tell Dipper about this! He'd been acting so crabby lately over his "new asshole roommate", maybe he'd feel better if she shared the good news about having a new crush.

(Probably not. Knowing Dipper he wouldn't care but hey she was using the lame excuse in her mind to boast to him about it anyway. Suck it.)

[reine-du-sourire]

Yo yo, what's up fam? It's ya boy, Victor Frankenstein, live and direct from my lab, where I'm about to flex my mad skills and show you how I'm about to create life, all on my own!

First things first, let me give you a quick tour of my setup. Got my Bunsen burner lit up, got my test tubes poppin', got my electrodes sparking, and you know I gotta have my beats bumpin' in the background, cuz I gotta get in that zone, ya dig?

Now, let's talk about the real reason why we're here. I'm about to unleash my latest creation, and trust me when I say, this ain't no basic B. This creature is gonna be next-level lit, and I'm the one who's gonna bring it to life, all thanks to my mad scientist skills.

I'm talking about using some serious biotech swag to piece together body parts and organs, and then using some dope-a** lightning bolts to shock it all to life, ya feel me? This creature is gonna be the baddest dude on the block, and he's gonna be straight-up grateful to me for giving him this gift of life.

So if you're ready to witness some major-league sorcery, then keep it locked on this livestream, cuz I'm about to drop some serious heat. And when this creature is finally up and running, you better believe he's gonna be hella lit, all thanks to yours truly, the one and only Victor Frankenstein, in the building!

Yo, hold up, hold up. Looks like my boy Henry just stepped into the lab, and he's looking kinda stressed out. What's good, my dude?

"Victor, what the hell are you doing? You've been in here for days, subsisting solely on ramen noodles and caffeine. That's not healthy, man. You need to take a break and eat something real."

Yo, chill, Henry. I'm just trying to get this creature up and running, you feel me? I can't afford to take a break right now.

"But you can afford to give yourself a heart attack? Come on, Victor, you're better than this. You need to take care of yourself if you want to create something amazing. And besides, your breath smells like garlic and soy sauce."

Okay, okay, I hear you. Maybe I have been neglecting my health a little bit. But you gotta admit, this ramen is fire, right?

"Yeah, I'll admit that. But it's not exactly a balanced meal. Look, I'll order us some real food. We can take a break, eat some veggies, and then get back to work, okay?"

Aight, fine. You win, Henry. But only if you get us some sushi. And make sure it's the good stuff, none of that supermarket crap.

"Deal. Now let's go before you collapse from malnutrition."

Haha, you got jokes, Henry. Alright, let's bounce. But don't worry, I'll be back soon, and this creature is gonna be straight-up legendary, you hear me?

...

What's up, people? This is Henry, coming at you live from Victor's lab. As you can see, my boy Victor is knocked out cold face-first in his sushi, probably from sheer exhaustion.

I tried to get him to go to sleep earlier, but he was too stubborn for his own good. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and end this livestream for him. The last thing he needs right now is to be broadcasting his sleep-deprived ramblings to the world.

But don't worry, folks. Victor will be back soon, and he'll be fully rested and ready to show off his latest creation. And trust me, it's gonna be something special.

Until then, take care of yourselves, and remember to get enough sleep. It's important for both your physical and mental well-being. This is Henry Clerval, signing off.

[prince-rosalium]

when you get this ask you have to answer with 5 of ur fav songs and then send this ask to 10 of ur favourite followers <3

OOOOOO i'm a favorite follower? i'm so special :) Momo no Hanabira- Ai Otsuka. This song takes me back to listening to it when I was 9 years old, unaware of all my future and current trauma, on my ipod shuffle, swinging from a tree in my front yard, blissful, content. It reminds me of being a teenager and falling in love with my husband, listening to this song. It reminds me of college, when my professor tried desperately to help me find the little sound effect in it, it reminds me of the best and the worst of times and it is the PERFECTEST song ever in its own little BEAUTIFUL package. the shamisen has never sounded so SWEET. i learned an ENTIRE JAPANESE INSTRUMENT JUST TO PLAY THIS FUCKING SONG!!!! Au Revoir- Malice Mizer. I played this with a band for a music competition that got sabotaged and purposely rigged against me because the guy running the competition was the president of the league of legends club at my college and hated my friend because she outed them for sexual harrassment. it was an extremely traumatic and hurtful experience but i fucking refused to let it ruin such a BANGER so i listened to it over and over and sang it so hard in the car once that i almost passed out. DO THE I LOVE YOU- Buck-Tick. SPECIFICALLY the this is Not greatest hits version. nothing fucking bumps like this. it bumps in such a HORNY way. this song sounds like some absolutely SCHNASTY fuckin.

Jirettai- Anzen Chitai. This is the tragic BUMPIN breakup that results after the SCHNASTY fuckin that goes on in DO THE I LOVE YOU. this is where the 80s shoujo drama trauma happens. this is where we put the LAMENT, the PASSION! my husband calls this "japanese ghostbusters." I first heard it in a car with my friend and her japanese mom.

Robinson（ ロビンソン）- Spitz. I also heard this in the very same car as Jirettai. Whenever the guitar goes JAAN JAAN JANJAN in the chorus, my friend and her mom would sing just that. When I went to Japan, i met 2 girls who were in a band. They wanted to sing with me, but all i knew were j-rock songs, and they likes stuff like AKB48 and SMAP (I wasn't a smap fan at the time. now i will not shut up about them if you ask me about them). They said "oh, well. I guess we'll play Robinson then." and I was like "ah! i know THAT one!" and we sang together and the harmony was so good that we made our mothers, who were watching on in the same room, cry on each other, and they didn't even know the same language. It was so cute.

[norts-trolls]

FRESH ADOPTS HOT OFF THE PRESS!! Prices are all USD P4yP4l only!! Dm if interested! Rules below as usual!!!

Romance Axolotl($15):SOLD

Vampiric Empress($20): SOLD

Bumpin Violet($15): SOLD

Advisor Violet($15): SOLD

Purple Jester ($20): SOLD

Handmade Indigo($15): SOLD

Deal or no deal Cerulen($15): SOLD

Legisexcutioner Teal($20): SOLD

Iridescent Cavern Jade ($20): SOLD

Please keep the design recognizable. But I don't mind changes.

Please credit me for the design when you first post them

Blood color and gender up to you Credit me the design in their bio or when you post them!!

I don't mind if you change their species

Please do not resell. Gifting is fine.

I can hold for 3 days max

For an extra 10 I will make an Icon of them!!

Any future commissions of adopts brought from me will have discount.

PLEASE DO NOT USE THE ADOPTS FOR GROSS STUFF ( hate messages, racism, N/FTS etc etc use common sense)

ADOPTS WILL NOT BE USED FOR COMMERCIAL USE. (you can however buy commercial use license)

[nofollowgame]

🔶 no follow friday

And now for this week's updates…

File #000011: It's here! r u bumpin?

File #000005: The main game has some new stuff -- most excitingly, a new neighborhood background. You can also now play in text only mode if you prefer.

And more...

Chara: Page up for Saturn! He too is a bit of a mystery for now.

Trivia: More name trivia up for Melissa, Oberon, and Bo -- in case you were wondering.

Bonus: I remembered opengraph exists, so these kindsa links have a groovy image now:

'Til next time...

⭐🤟👽 shishka_

[princess-of-the-corner]

Toontown: Corporate Clash Recap: Toontown Central Mainline Tasks (Bumpy Bumblebehr)

As before, credit to corporateclash.wiki.gg.

Okay so, it’s time to help out a Periwinkle Bear.

Tonight’s episode, Bumpy Bumblebehr in

Big Bumpin

To complete this task, talk to Bumpy Bumblebehr.

He excitedly greets you, just being a jolly, round bear who loves seeing new recruits.

He does have a few pressing issues he can’t handle from HQ at the moment.

“Nurse Nancy is the most important one that I can think of, for right now.” “She’s taking care of all the injured and sickly Toons of the resistance, so it’s our duty to help!” “She’s tried a number of creative boo-boo solutions, but she’s confident in glue, for some reason.” “So glue it is! Head on over to Sticky Lou at Blue Glue Direct 2 You. It’s on Loopy Lane.” “Make sure you get the really pretty stuff. When you’re injured and need medical assistance, some colorful glue will surely cheer you up!”

And with that, earned 31 experience, 2 Jellybeans, and the next task:

A Sticky Situation

Your first step on this task is to go down Loopy Lane and visit Blue Glue (“Direct 2 You”) to speak with Sticky Lou, a maroon mouse with an upside-down pot/jug/cauldron on his head:

“Ha ha, hey there buddy.” “You uh, wanting something?” “Oh yeah, glue huh?” “That’s great. I’d be glad to help you out.” “But uh, I'mma be honest with you.” “I’m literally stuck to the floor.” “Yep, nope, just spilled all my glue right onto my feet.” “You might ask why I didn’t just react right away and move them, and while that’s a valid question, I started daydreaming.” “Now you might ask what daydream could’ve possibly have been so good that I didn’t notice my dire circumstance.” “This is awkward but, since you’re stuck here with me for now, I guess I’ll come clean.” “I’ve always wanted to be a mime.” “Yes, that’s right.. a mime.” “I just kind of get lost daydreaming about it often, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I ended up in this sticky situation a time or two about once a week.” “I’ll make a deal with you…” “If you can get me a reservation for The Merry Mimes on Silly Street, I’ll personally give you all this glue that’s currently stuck to me, for free.”

This is a reference to Sticky Lou’s task in Toontown Online, except there, Lou spoke exclusively in rhyme, and had no interest in miming. He just needed your help getting unstuck, got unstuck, and then accidentally glued himself to the floor again while thanking the player.

Regardless, this spiel earns the player’s Toon 31 experience and 2 Jellybeans.

In order to continue the Task, you must head to The Merry Mimes on Silly Street and pick up a Reservation Ticket from the shopkeeper: a pink beaver named Silent Simone.

Silent Simone is a mime and as such does not speak.

Interacting with her during this task prompts the following animations.

She waves.

She does a pushing animation.

She swims upwards, prompting the player’s Toon to say “Ok.”

She mimes picking something up.

She climbs up an invisible ladder and clips through the ceiling.

This interaction gives the player’s Toon 31 experience, 2 jellybeans, and the Reservation Ticket.

Deliver this to Sticky Lou to continue the Task.

“Wow! That’s amazing!” “And it seemed so much easier than I thought it’d be.” “But I kind of ended up in a little bit more of a pickle since you were gone.” “I went straight to work trying to unstick this glue from me, and unstick me from this glue…” “It turns out my hands aren’t exactly the right tool for this, and I’m kiiiind of stuck even more.” “If you can find maybe like a spatula, or a uh… stick, or something we can use that to unstick me and you can take all this glue for free.”

This grants you 31 experience and 2 Jellybeans. Any Cog in Toontown Central could potentially drop An Unsticking Object, so getting one shouldn’t take too long.

“Fantastic!” “Let me just pry it off here now!” (Sticky Lou performs the rope-pulling animation, due to that being the closest to “prying my feet off the ground” we get.) “YEEEEOWCH!!!” (Sticky Lou belly flops.) “I got a lot of practicing to do before mime class apparently.” “Well uh, it’s all yours, ha ha.” “Just tell them to ignore any colorful hairs, it’s… decorative glue.” “Thanks for helping me out!”

This task is pretty animated. Anyways, this grants you 31 experience, 2 jellybeans, and Decorative Glue to take back to the Playground.

Deliver it to Bumpy Bumblebehr for the next exciting chapter of this story:

“Wow! You sure seemed to solve that quick!” “Oh…” “What are these hairs…” “Decorative glue?” “I’m no simpletoon, [Toon Name]. I’m beary smart. I know mouse hairs when I see them!” “This just clearly won’t cut it. We can’t be unsanitary.” “Go back and get some fresh and preferably unused glue, please!”

Welp, might not be what you needed, but you’ve got 31 more experience and 2 more jellybeans, so it’s not a total waste!

Here’s what Sticky Lou has to say:

“Well, alright. I suppose I could give you some of my patented Fresh Glue.” “But there’s a bit of a problem. Actually… two problems.” “I may or may not be stuck once again… Ha ha?” “I was starting my miming practice and got REALLY into pretending that I’m in an invisible box…” “It was great! Until I swooped my arm one last time and knocked all my glue jars right onto my feet again…” “I can’t begin to explain to you the feeling of shame I am experiencing right now…” “If you can get me a Glass Jar, I’ll get to unsticking myself and give you some fresh glue from the back.”

Oh Sticky Lou, whatever will we do with you? I mean, it’s 31 free experience and 2 jellybeans, so I’m not gonna complain.

When fishing up Task objectives from Fishing Ponds, the Task Item takes priority over anything else you could possibly fish up, as long as you’re in the right Neighborhood, in this case, Toontown Central.

Anyways, bring the empty jar back to finally wrap up Sticky Lou’s storyline.

“Nice job! Just gonna fill up the jar.” “At least my paws are getting better air cooling… That’s a plus right?” “Oh, don’t answer that. The jar’s all full. Here you go! Some Fresh Glue.” “Next time I will make sure I’m at least two arms length away before practicing…” “Good luck with the glue!”

And unlike in Toontown Online, he DOESN’T immediately glue himself back to the floor while thanking you.

You’ve got 31 experience, 2 jellybeans, and Fresh Glue.

Deliver it to Bumpy Bumblebehr to complete the task.

“Ah Finally, some decent Glue. I’ll get this over to Nurse Nancy right away.” “This is gonna do wonders for the injured Toons. You’ve done us a big solid and I’m incredibly grateful.” “I can already see your trust growing higher and higher and honestly, I see nothing short of a bright future for you!” “Go on over to Good ol’ Gil Giggles now and see what you can do for him.” “Thanks a ton, [Toon Name]!”

This earns you 310 experience and 20 jellybeans, and concludes the Bumpy arc, the shortest post-Toontorial arc in the Taskline.

Next time, we see what Good ol’ Gil Giggles needs!

-

As someone whose adhd is kicking their ass lately, I completely understand “I daydreamed so hard I got my ass glued to the floor”