#bunny poop universe

[oneatlatime]

The Blind Bandit

I had honestly forgotten that the Gaang were trying to find an earthbending teacher, so the 'previously on' segment was actually useful instead of spoilery.

Nobody's face is having a good time.

Look at this sweetheart. You go ahead and treat yourself honey. You've single-handedly escorted a pair of earth-shatteringly overpowered tweens around the world for months; the least you deserve is a shopping trip.

"You kids like earthbending?" Has the same energy as "wanna buy a sun dial?" from that animated Hercules movie.

This guy is one of those strip mall karate types.

I take back everything I ever said about Zuko's season 1 haircut. This guy has a dust bunny poop on his head.

Momo's bag now.

My absolute favourite girl power: incredible violence!

The acoustics at this earth rumble place must be great. I don't see any microphones.

"That's what I paid for." Sokka is a simple creature at heart. Likes food and violence.

Something very strange about this guy's face. I think his mouth moves but his eyes don't.

So apparently earthbending gets you mad air.

Oh! I get it. This is a WWE parody. Somebody on the writing team did their homework too. Don't ask me how I know, but this is a very accurate parody.

Sokka thinks listening to big muscles is a very good idea actually.

And here's the heel. Complete with russian accent. And oddly homoerotic anthem. And cowardice when challenged! Yep, total heel.

I LOLed at the zamboni badgermoles and hockey organ.

She's like two feet tall!

I'm. in love.

I could watch little girls beat up grown men all day.

Earthbending sonar?

Omigod it predicts. She can see moves before they happen.

Well it's a good thing Bumi said to look for someone who Waited and Listened rather than Watched.

"I don't really want to fight you. I want to talk to you." Says the guy who just volunteered, in front of a full stadium, to FIGHT her. Time and place, Aang.

Get back on the ground you flighty airbender. She sees with that ground. No fair.

This is about the face I made when Aang pulled that move. Does this boy think at all? I love him, but what part of stealing her well-earned title is supposed to convince her to talk to him?

You messed up.

I love sartorially inclined Sokka. It's a tiny an innocuous little trait, but it rounds out his character so well.

I get to watch two different girls terrorise idiots this episode. I am blessed.

So I'm guessing the two idiots at the earthbending academy are doing that excercise where kung fu people stick their hands in sand (I've seen videos of it) but it really looked like they were in the 'beat back the dough' phase of making bread.

In this universe of plot-convenient clothing blindness, how do Dumb and Dumber recognise Aang as the one who beat the Blind Bandit?

I think the voice actor for the dumb kid with actual hair did a bunch of voices in season 1. The soldier who gives Aang Bato's map comes to mind.

Have I said recently how much I love Sokka and Katara?

These wrestling guys keep switching between first and third person. Too many rocks to the head.

This could be a board for a murder mystery board game. Or a map for a DND dungeon.

It's her hair. I thought the Blind Bandit had a cap type thing with a little brim for her costume, but it's just a pile of her hair? Like a beehive?

A lesson in character writing: if you want to make someone look super dumb, have them earnestly believe in the credentials and authenticity of a guy you have previously set up as a borderline con artist. Lookin at you, Blind Bandit's dad.

"Basic forms and breathing exercises only." That line is just so funny. And they're all so stupid. She snapped like half a dozen spines last night and this guy is preaching breathing exercises.

Wow! I hate her dad!

I hate him more!

Sokka going ham on some rice rather than listen to the idiots. Good priorities.

This passive aggressive fight between the girl and Aang at the dinner table is so fun.

Looking for somewhere to store your meal after you've face planted into it? Try the top of your head!

I need to get a hold of some of those magic napkins. Wiped up a whole multicourse meal in like 5 seconds.

That is indeed the appropriate reaction to this pint sized badass. Glad Aang is learning. (Also this episode needs more Appa. The last couple have been sadly bereft.)

Called it. Earthdending sonar. Or is it more like echolocation? No! Whiskers!

How does this pint sized badass - who if I am understanding correctly, is not known to exist outside the walls of her house - have more emotional intelligence than the entirety of the Gaang put together?

So much for the guards in the garden. They'd actually be useful now.

Sokka. Priorities. Although given how many times Aang has escaped custody/kidnapping he's probably ok to take a minute to fangirl over an autograph.

These idiot parents don't know their daughter at all. That chafes.

"I'm not smiling." I LOLed at that too. Perfect delivery.

Hippo man having a snack before he gets down to business. No wonder he's missing teeth.

All this blind and tiny and helpless and fragile talk is really making me hope someone smacks the crap out of the dad. What an awful thing to say, nevermind saying it where your daughter can hear.

SMACKDOWN INCOMING

This is gonna be good.

If this girl does join the Gaang the writers are going to have to nerf her in every major conflict. She's too powerful. I bet she could take on the firelord now.

And that's why you don't announce sneak attacks.

So remember how Sokka was absolutely losing his shit over the Boulder? That's me right now.

She waits. All these idiots are losing because they're getting impatient and attacking first. Which means that, to her senses, they're telegraphing their moves. That is so cool. And so is this visual.

Here's your chance Dad. Are you going to mess it up?

"I love fighting. I love being an Earthbender. And I'm really really good at it." me:

I don't have words for how much I LOVE when little girls STAND UP for THEMSELVES and THEIR INTERESTS. This would have had me HOLLERING if I'd seen it as a kid. It was a message I needed to hear too.

Wow I want to kill her parents.

OH FUCK OFF

COME ON

You made my girl cry.

Get wrecked belt stealer. I LOLed at this too.

Sokka just beaned a blind girl on the head. Not a good look. I laughed though.

Fun fact: everyone in this picture is a piece of shit.

I haven't been this steamed since Zuko's dad burned half his face off.

Final Thoughts

IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, this episode feels like it's movie quality. This show is usually excellent, but this feels like a cut above. I feel like I could sense the love the writers, animators, voice actors, everyone had for this episode. They had a good time making it and were enthusiastic about it. And there were lots of tiny background details in this episode too. I'm sure I missed quite a few. Oh No! I'll have to rewatch it!

New team member! That hasn't happened since Momo. Actually, no wonder the episode was so good. Introducing the first new team member in at least a season's worth of episodes is a delicate operation. I bet they were workshopping this episode since early in the first season.

And Toph! (thank you credits for how to spell that - I was really hoping it wasn't Toff). Be still my heart I love Toph. She may well take Sokka's spot as my favourite character. Strength of character, self-assurance, emotional intelligence, badassery, mastery of violence, what's not to love!!!

How did she get so emotionally intelligent and articulate if her parents have kept her caged her whole life? I don't know but I'm not complaining!

How did her parents get away with caging her for her whole life? I do know (money) and I am complaining. Very much so. And yet Toph can still find it within herself to have an honest conversation with them, including apologising for leaving said cage. I never would have had the maturity to do that in a similar situation. I would have gone the Katara explosive rage route.

A little girl who stands up for herself. Against HER PARENTS. I just. Do you know how amazing that is? Especially in a kids' show? I was ROBBED by not being able to see this show when I was Toph's age.

Does bending work like a muscle, in that you build up stamina? Because if so, then Toph is the strongest human earthbender in the world by default. If she's using it in place of seeing, then she's using it 100% of the time that she's awake, all day every day. By the time she was like 5 years old she'd probably used her bending more than the average earthbender does in their whole lifetime.

My one complaint is Toph's voice. Nothing wrong with it; this is a me thing. It fits her perfectly, but my ears do not play well with nasal voices, which hers is. I had to rewind quite a few times and resorted to subtitles by the end. Hopefully I'll get used to it like I did Zuko's.

Sokka! My soon to be demoted beloved! He shone in this episode. I love that he has fashion sense and is not afraid to show it. I'm thinking, what with how hung up he was on masculinity at the start of the show, that the water tribes have a different conception of masculinity: one that classes fashionability as a masculine or gender neutral trait. Even back in season one it didn't take much to get Sokka into the Kyoshi warrior uniform, and he's shockingly good at applying face paint symmetrically. Which I still cannot do with winged eyeliner.

Katara! Not headed for a career in diplomacy but so satisfying to watch. I would love to have a Katara in my pocket that I could unleash on people. And her and Sokka bouncing off each other this episode was great. Every one was at peak performance this episode, except Aang. Not at his brightest this episode.

Checking for typos before I post this and I realise I'd already forgotten that Toph is blind! Just like in the Northern Air Temple, this is how you do disability right: as just a part of who they are, rather than an entire personality. This show is so good.

In sum, Toph:

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Beauty might be simple.

Dust had seen... a lot, of alternative universes. There were ones where his kind starved, where monsters had wings or fishy tails. He's seen ones where roles seemed to be reversed, or interchanged.

But... out of everything, he never considered one where...

Bunnies?

Dust was staring at a field of flowers, where—If he was guessing somewhat correctly. These... bunnies, were... fighting?

On one side, had these extra round creatures that had similarities to the Stars. While the other ones held closer to the bad Sanses, such as himself...

Man, they sucked at fighting.

The... Ink, one? Was flipped over on his back, his tiny little stubby legs kicked effortlessly. The one that looked like Killer paused mid battle to start cleaning his paws. The Swap one was... either pushing, or nuzzling one that looked like Horror. And, these things were small. The size of kitten at best. Plus... they were so round? Why were they so round?

Either way, Dust scoffed. Apparently these things could talk, too, or atleast one of them—as the goofy Nightmare one was screeching.

"N-No, you fools! Get back into battle!" He yelled, his voice pip squeak. While the Dream one was trying to flip over Ink, failing miserably and flipping over himself. He made tiny distressed yips, before getting distracted by a butterfly, flipping on his feet again and following it while hopping.

Dust sighed, coming closer. He just needed to find wherever the fuck Killer went, his Killer. And they could go home.

The Nightmare one looked at him, and hissed. Instead of tendrils, it just had a lot of floppy ears. "A mortal! Retreat you buffoons!" He demanded, teleporting away before Dust could get a word out.

He groaned. "Killer!" He called out again, hoping he hadn't run off too far.

As he approached, the bunnies all started looking at him. Their little chattering went down, as they began to hop over to him, quite literally bouncing.

"...ugh." Was all he managed out, these things.. they were nuzzling him? Being oddly affectionate.

One, the Killer one, started nibbling on his shoe, causing him to try and kick it away. "Stop that..." He murmured, the bunny just bounced like a ball...

Weird.

Russeling came behind him, and he snapped over with a sharpened bone ready to defend himself—

Boop.

Dust was put face to face with Killer, who held a bunny that looked like... him.

"...You shouldn't sneak up on me." He lowered his weapon, as Killer chuckled a bit.

"Dust! Look, it's you!" He said in a teasing manner, shoving them into his arms.

"H-Hey!" Dust tried to drop it, but his arms tensed for a second...

It was just, so soft... like a marshmallow.

Killer giggled, before gasping, "THERE'S MINE!" He scooped up the bunny that looked like him, squshing it on his face.

"We're not keeping them." Dust declared as he finally set the Dust one down.

"Oh c'mon! Wouldn't be the first time we kidnapped something from an AU!~" Killer was now trying to hold Dust, and Horror bunny as well.

"No." Dust, the actual one, crossed his arms and gave a stern look.

Killer pouted, metaphorically jiggling them in his arms as he opened his jacket to stick them in.

"...Don't." Dust warned, as Killer cheered when he got them into it, zipping it up, their three little faces stuck out in front of his face.

"Yup, doing it."

Dust groaned. "...fine." He stuck his hands hands his pocket, looking away, down towards the star ones. The ink one was still stuck on his back, but fell asleep cuddling up to the Swap and Dream one...

It was almost cute.

He sighed. "Let's just get back... I swear if one of those things poop in the castle..." He muttered as he helped Killer pushed the bunnies to be more hidden.

"Heh, got it!"

And with that, they teleported home.

(Inspired by @ant1quarian!)

[puppy-wife]

💘💖 Introduction Post 💖💘

⛓️⛓️ MEN dni unless you are buying custom content. minors dni ever, this blog is 18+ ⛓️⛓️

❣️🥰 hello darlings! my name is Bunny, and I hope you enjoy my very gay, very chaotic blog 🥰❣️

💖 Age/Zodiac: 31 years old, Aries ☀️, Taurus 🌙, Scorpio ⬆️

💘 Location: PNW, US. GMT-7

💖 Gender: gendertrash, trans femme enby, otherworldly slut

💘 Pronouns: she/they mostly, but I also use neopronouns, ae/aer. no one really uses my neos, but they make me happy 🥰

💖 Sexuality: queer lesbian (I only date non-men, so nonbinary individuals are also included 😘)

💘 Relationship: polyamorous/enm. I currently have one romantic nesting partner, @kitty-husband. I am not currently trying to start any new relationships, other than platonic

💖 Transitioning since 11/2021 🏳️‍⚧️

💘 Top/Bottom: I'm a switch, so I love both! in most of my relationships, I tend towards Dom top, but I really enjoy getting to be a good girl, good puppy ☺️🥺

💖 K!nks: d/s, s/m, bondage, estim, impact, power play, primal play, pet play, hypno, intox, and experimentalist! and many more. if we are friends, you can ask for my fet 😉

💘 Pet Names: (from left to right, Dommy to subby) Mistress, Goddess, Miss, Ma'am, Mommy, slut, whore, bitch, Pup, Puppy, Good Girl, princess.

💖 Hard Limits: yelling at me, and anything involving poop or vom

💘 Hobbies: ttrpgs, magic the gathering, reading, writing (more on that later!), tv and movies, and trying to do more art!

💖 Main Fandoms: the Locked Tomb, Kamen Rider, Marvel/MCU (I know, don't judge me), Hannibal, and a bunch else!

💘 My (actual) Pets: I have a 9 year old chiweenie named Cupcake, and my NP has a cat and a tarantula! I want to get ferrets sometime soon.

💖 Favorite Books: I, Strahd, by P.N. Elrod. Gideon the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, by Benjamin Alire Sáenz.

💘 Anons: none currently, but if you'd like to claim an emoji or nickname, please feel free 😘

💖 Writing: so I've been writing for most of my life, a lot of my work is focused on poetry and short form fiction. I do have a book that I am currently working on about a magical school, and I also have a homebrew universe that is somewhat d&d-inspired that I've been writing fics for and running ttrpgs in for almost 10 years. Feel free to ask about it if you're interested!

💘 I think that mostly covers everything, and of course if you have anything you wanna ask, my inbox is open 😘 thank you for reading all of this, sweetie! 🥰

[my-weird-news]

🚀 Decoding Elon Musk's Unbelievable Success Secrets!

Musk: The Quirky Space Cowboy 🚀 Elon Musk, the real-life mad scientist and rich dude extraordinaire, is like the modern-day version of Ozymandias – just without the ancient ruins and desolate wastelands, and with way more Twitter followers. This guy is like the king of the nerds, ruling over a kingdom of electric cars, reusable rockets, and memes that sometimes make even less sense than his grand plans. Picture this: one moment he's dancing like no one's watching (but everyone is) at a Tesla event, and the next he's launching a car into space like it's just another Wednesday. He's so rich that his net worth could buy you a whole fleet of Teslas, yet he tweets like he's just discovered the internet. Elon's CV reads like a superhero origin story. He's the CEO of not one, but two major companies. He owned the social media platform that birthed keyboard warriors, and oh, by the way, Marvel used his swag to craft Tony Stark. Talk about goals! Remember when Elon first sashayed onto the scene? He had this epic to-do list: end climate change, make Mars a vacation destination, unravel the mysteries of the universe using AI, and maybe just save humanity in his spare time. No biggie. For years, Musk's fan club treated his plans like gospel truth. Sure, he hadn't taken anyone to Mars yet, but he did make rockets that are basically the Energizer bunnies of space travel. And let's not forget how he jump-started the electric car scene – he basically made electric cars cool, like James Dean for the environmentally conscious. To decode the enigma that is Musk, we turn to Talulah Riley's book – not because Musk was her second and third husband (seriously, that's more commitment than I have to finishing a bag of chips), but because her romance novel Acts of Love sounds suspiciously like Elon's life. It's all about a misandrist writer who falls for a biotech billionaire on a mission to save the world. Sound familiar? Musk's public image is like his secret sauce. Back in the day, he was as socially awkward as a penguin at a disco. He even worried he wasn't as glamorous as the competition. But this dude turned things around – he morphed from "Shai Agassi, Founder of Glamour" to "Elon Musk, Lord of the Universe." Elon's social ascent was like a rocket launch. He needed people to know him to buy rocket parts, so he decided to become Mars' number one hype man. It worked, and suddenly everyone was like, "Hey, there's that dude who's all about Mars!" Then came the infamous year of 2018 – Musk called someone a "pedo guy," smoked weed on a podcast, and tweeted that he had "funding secured" to take Tesla private. Whoopsie daisy! Lawsuits rained down like confetti at a New Year's Eve party. But wait, there's more! In 2020, Musk said, "To hell with nice," and ditched his PR team. Now he's the press release king, and his favorite email response? The poop emoji. I kid you not. You know how they say a new Musk scandal a day keeps the actual news away? Well, it's kind of true. With a Musk controversy buffet, it's hard to focus on just one serving. It's like trying to pick a favorite ice cream flavor at Ben & Jerry's – you end up with brain freeze and no answers. So, is Musk a bad boss or are his employees just slackers? Acts of Love's Radley Blake could clear this up. Radley's a control freak who only fires people who don't give "maximum effort." His employees are so motivated they don't even need Red Bull to sprout wings. But in real life, Musk isn't exactly the "Employee of the Month" poster child. People report him stomping through Tesla factories, red-faced and firing folks like it's a carnival game. One executive said they had to stoop in meetings to seem smaller than Musk – like they were at a toddler tea party. And don't even get me started on workplace safety. Tesla factories were apparently more dangerous than your grandma's staircase in a haunted house. Musk's dislike for the color yellow (yellow tape, yellow paint) led to some questionable safety practices – it's like he's running a risk assessment in a Tim Burton movie. But Musk is a romantic hero in his own right. He's got a tragic past and a longing for love. Childhood bullies, check. Troubled relationship with his dad, check. He's like a wounded bird in a billionaire's body. No wonder he's looking for someone to save him from all that money. The dude's been married more times than I've accidentally sent screenshots to the wrong person. He's got enough kids to start a soccer team, and he's probably planning to send them to Mars for summer vacation. But hey, at least he's not alone, right? He's got Twitter, his second favorite significant other. So there you have it – Elon Musk, the eccentric entrepreneur who turned himself into the star of his own romantic novel. One minute he's making rockets, the next he's tweeting like a kid who just found out they can use their teacher's chalkboard. Will he save the world? Maybe. Will he keep us entertained? Absolutely. 🚀🎉# Musk: The Quirky Space Cowboy 🚀 Elon Musk, the real-life mad scientist and rich dude extraordinaire, is like the modern-day version of Ozymandias – just without the ancient ruins and desolate wastelands, and with way more Twitter followers. This guy is like the king of the nerds, ruling over a kingdom of electric cars, reusable rockets, and memes that sometimes make even less sense than his grand plans. Picture this: one moment he's dancing like no one's watching (but everyone is) at a Tesla event, and the next he's launching a car into space like it's just another Wednesday. He's so rich that his net worth could buy you a whole fleet of Teslas, yet he tweets like he's just discovered the internet. Elon's CV reads like a superhero origin story. He's the CEO of not one, but two major companies. He owned the social media platform that birthed keyboard warriors, and oh, by the way, Marvel used his swag to craft Tony Stark. Talk about goals! Remember when Elon first sashayed onto the scene? He had this epic to-do list: end climate change, make Mars a vacation destination, unravel the mysteries of the universe using AI, and maybe just save humanity in his spare time. No biggie. For years, Musk's fan club treated his plans like gospel truth. Sure, he hadn't taken anyone to Mars yet, but he did make rockets that are basically the Energizer bunnies of space travel. And let's not forget how he jump-started the electric car scene – he basically made electric cars cool, like James Dean for the environmentally conscious. To decode the enigma that is Musk, we turn to Talulah Riley's book – not because Musk was her second and third husband (seriously, that's more commitment than I have to finishing a bag of chips), but because her romance novel Acts of Love sounds suspiciously like Elon's life. It's all about a misandrist writer who falls for a biotech billionaire on a mission to save the world. Sound familiar? Musk's public image is like his secret sauce. Back in the day, he was as socially awkward as a penguin at a disco. He even worried he wasn't as glamorous as the competition. But this dude turned things around – he morphed from "Shai Agassi, Founder of Glamour" to "Elon Musk, Lord of the Universe." Elon's social ascent was like a rocket launch. He needed people to know him to buy rocket parts, so he decided to become Mars' number one hype man. It worked, and suddenly everyone was like, "Hey, there's that dude who's all about Mars!" Then came the infamous year of 2018 – Musk called someone a "pedo guy," smoked weed on a podcast, and tweeted that he had "funding secured" to take Tesla private. Whoopsie daisy! Lawsuits rained down like confetti at a New Year's Eve party. But wait, there's more! In 2020, Musk said, "To hell with nice," and ditched his PR team. Now he's the press release king, and his favorite email response? The poop emoji. I kid you not. You know how they say a new Musk scandal a day keeps the actual news away? Well, it's kind of true. With a Musk controversy buffet, it's hard to focus on just one serving. It's like trying to pick a favorite ice cream flavor at Ben & Jerry's – you end up with brain freeze and no answers. So, is Musk a bad boss or are his employees just slackers? Acts of Love's Radley Blake could clear this up. Radley's a control freak who only fires people who don't give "maximum effort." His employees are so motivated they don't even need Red Bull to sprout wings. But in real life, Musk isn't exactly the "Employee of the Month" poster child. People report him stomping through Tesla factories, red-faced and firing folks like it's a carnival game. One executive said they had to stoop in meetings to seem smaller than Musk – like they were at a toddler tea party. And don't even get me started on workplace safety. Tesla factories were apparently more dangerous than your grandma's staircase in a haunted house. Musk's dislike for the color yellow (yellow tape, yellow paint) led to some questionable safety practices – it's like he's running a risk assessment in a Tim Burton movie. But Musk is a romantic hero in his own right. He's got a tragic past and a longing for love. Childhood bullies, check. Troubled relationship with his dad, check. He's like a wounded bird in a billionaire's body. No wonder he's looking for someone to save him from all that money. The dude's been married more times than I've accidentally sent screenshots to the wrong person. He's got enough kids to start a soccer team, and he's probably planning to send them to Mars for summer vacation. But hey, at least he's not alone, right? He's got Twitter, his second favorite significant other. So there you have it – Elon Musk, the eccentric entrepreneur who turned himself into the star of his own romantic novel. One minute he's making rockets, the next he's tweeting like a kid who just found out they can use their teacher's chalkboard. Will he save the world? Maybe. Will he keep us entertained? Absolutely. 🚀🎉 Read the full article

[shop-korea]

PILIPINAS - 'FORCING - HEAT' - OUR - VOLCANIC -

MOISTURE - WEATHER - LIKE - 175 - DEGREES FL -

HEAT - SHORT - BURSTS - OF - STRESS EXAMPLE -

INTERMITTENT - FASTING

ONCE - PER - DAY - 12P - UNTIL - 6P

WHEN - U - EAT - NOT - WHAT - YOU - EAT

START - 12P - AS - MUCH - AS - U - CAN - 2

18 HRS - OF - FASTING - REMOVAL - OF -

POISON - FR - OUR - BODIES - TOXINS -

REMOVED - ANOTHER - STRESS - THE -

HEAT - SPENDING - TIME - IN - SAUNA -

I'M - MADE - A - DECISION - GOING - 2B -

ALSO - AN - ARCHITECT - AS - WE - ARE -

GBC - FILM - TV - STUDIOS

TAKESHI - FILM - TV - STUDIOS

PLACES - THAT - NEED - BUILT MY PART

ALSO - AS - LICENSE - ARCHITECT - BUT

PARIS - FRANCE - CITY OVER - 2,000 -

YEARS OLD - MAKATI - EST - 67,000 -

YEARS - WE'RE - GOING - BACK - IN -

TIME - JOSEON - OVER - 125 YRS - AGO -

GOREA - OVER - 1,000 YRS - OLD - YES -

THE - ARCHITECT - OF - THEIR HOUSES -

PALACES - BUT - HISTORICALLY - MORE -

ACCURATE - PARIS - FRANCE - SEWERS -

MOST - AUTHENTIC CLOTHES - LIKE -

THE - POOR - 500 YEARS - INFERIOR -

COTTON - TAKING - HISTORICAL - FASHION -

UNIVERSITY - OF - PARIS - AS - WE - CREATE -

JOSEON - AND - GOREO - HISTORICAL - AND -

CORRECT - OUTFITS - SO - WILL - BECOME -

ARCHITECT - AFTER - ALL - THANKS - 2 YES -

BEIJING - CHINA - OLD - MALE - DOCTORS -

ACUPUNCTURE - 2 - MAKE - ME - LINGUAL -

200 LANGUAGES - OF - INDIA

MANY - OTHER - LANGUAGES

RETENTION - CAN - HANDLE - SNOW - SO -

ZUMA CUM LAUDE

WITH - SPEECH

ARCHITECTURE

FREE - FR - MIAMI - HOOKERS - LESBIANS -

VIOLENT SHOOTERS - FR PUBLIC SCHOOLS -

NC - TAXES - QUARTERLY

$0 - $0 - $0 - $0

ST JUDE's - CHILDREN's - RESEARCH

HOSPITALS - MY GOAL - $100 BILLION

MY - PERSONAL - REFERENCES

BRICKEL - CITY - CENTRE

PSYCHO - BUNNY DAY B 4

EASTER - SUNDAY

HARD - LIQUOUR - SABBATH

HISPANIC - WOMEN DRUNKS

MIAMI - FLORIDA - FL

WHAT - IS - COV-ID 19 - CORONAVIRUS -

RESPIRATORY - COLDS - COUGH - HIGH -

FEVER - SOLUTION - OF - SORE - THROUGHT

AND - COUGH - HOT - SHOWERS - AMERICAN

ADAGE - FEED - A - COLD - STARVE A - FEVER

SOLUTION - 2 - CORONAVIRUS

PHILIPPINE - WEATHER - HEAT

INTENSE - VOLCANIC - WITH - MOISTURE

WHEN - WINDS - BLOW - HEATED - ALSO

BEACH - NATIN - LIKE - JACUZZI

SHOCK - BODY - GIVE - STRESS - HOW -

INTERMITTENT - FASTING

ONCE - A DAY - STARTS - AT - 12P

EATING - FR - 12P - TO - 6P DAILY

THEN - 18 HRS - BODY - CAN - RELEASE

POISON - TOXINS - BODY - GETTING OUT

DANGEROUS - SUBSTANCE - FR WRONG

FOODS - ESPECIALLY - U - WILL - POOP

IT - WILL - HAPPEN

ANOTHER - WAY - 2 - STRESS - BODY

SAUNA - INTENSE - HEAT - WE - ARE

AS - ARCHITECTS - DESIGNING - ALL

OUR - PLACES - 2 - HAVE - SAUNA

STOPS - AGING - JUST - LIKE - YES

SNOW - AREAS - STRESSORS - UNDER

COLD - PLUNGING

ASHEVILLE - NORTH CAROLINA - LIKE

MIAMI - LOWS - OF - 27 DEGREES BOTH

SAME - BUT - ASHEVILLE - SNOW AND

LEGENDARY - BEAUTIFUL - MOUNTAINS

SAUNA - STOPS - HEART - PROBLEMS

IMPORTANT - THAT - SWEAT

PILIPINAS - NATURAL - SWEAT

CHARLIE SHEEN - WAS - IN - THE - SHADE

LESS - THAN - 1 HOUR - LOST - 25 LBS - FR

JUST - STANDING - IN A - SHADE - MANILA

AFTER - SAUNA - WHAT - WE - ALSO - HAVE

COCONUT - JUICE

WITH - OR - WITHOUT - PULP

SOPHISTICATED - COCONUT - WATER

THAILAND - WITH - BABY - PULP - BUT

WHILE - EXERCISING - WITHOUT PULP

AFTER - EXERCISE - WITH - PULP

B 4 - EXERCISE - WHAT - PILIPINAS

HAS - COCONUT - JUICE - OR - WATER

WITHOUT - PULP - SO - CORONAVIRUS

WE - HAVE - THE - SOLUTION

VOLCANIC - MOISTURE - WEATHER OF

PILIPINAS - LOTS - OF - SWEAT - BUT

DURING - AND - AFTER - OR - BEFORE

COCONUT - JUICE - WITHOUT - PULP

AFTER - WITH - PULP

COV-ID 19 - OUR - WEATHER - AND -

COCONUTS - THE - SOLUTION BUT -

WHAT - DID - OTHERS - ADD - 2 - US -

WE - HAVE - DEATHS - ALSO -

6 FT - SOCIAL - DISTANCING -

THAT - WAS - WHAT - WE - JUST -

LEARNED - THAT's - IT

SO - BAHAY - KUBO - MUST - HAVE -

ALSO - SAUNA - SO - WE - STAY YES -

INDOORS - 4 - THE - POOR - GO OUT -

THERE - SO - WHEN - EVERYONE -

TOLD - U 2 - STAY - INDOORS - IN -

AIR CONDITIONING - AND - AC - ALSO -

PRODUCES - ASTHMA - HARD - 2 - YES -

BREATHE

STAYING - INDOORS - AS - PILIPINAS -

WAS - THE - WORST - ORDER - FOR A -

SAUNA - WAS - THE - SOLUTION AND -

AS - RICH - ALL - KIDS - HAVE - THEIR -

OWN - BATHROOM - 4 - THOSE - WITH -

COV-ID 19 - MUST - HAVE - THEIR OWN -

DAHIL - CONTAGEOUS

SO - DURING - WORLD - PANDEMIC -

6 FT - SOCIAL - DISTANCING - YES -

BUT - REMAINING - OUTDOORS - 2 -

SWEAT - FR - INTENSE - VOLCANIC -

HEAT - DRINKING - COCONUT JUICE -

WITHOUT PULP - THEN - AFTER -

WITH - PULP - WAS - SOLUTION -

CORONAVIRUS - UNDER BIBLE -

'LEADERS - INSTEAD - OF - FOLLOWERS -

OF - NATIONS' - LARGE - POPULATIONS -

USA - OVER - 333 MILLION - THEIR YES -

DEATHS - OVER - 1 MILLION

BRICKELL - CITY - CENTRE - SAID

'YOU'RE - NOT - ALLOWED - 2 TAKE -

SHOWER - IN - THEIR - RESTROOM' -

'PRIVATE - PROPERTY'

WHEN - AMERICANS - WHY - THEY -

DIED OF CORONAVIRUS - BECAUSE -

AS - INDEPENDENT - FR - FAMILIES -

THEY - NEVER - SHOWERED - IN THE -

APTS - THEY - LIVED - IN - ILLEGALLY -

THEY - WENT - 2 - WORK - WITHOUT -

SHOWERING - ONLY - EVENTUALLY -

DID - BECAUSE - ITCHINESS - THEN -

THEY - SHOWERED - THAT - IS - WHY -

DIED - OF - COV-ID 19 - THEIR LACK -

OF - SHOWER - SO - THEY - SAID - I -

TOOK - SHOWER - IN - THEIR - RESTROOM -

BLK - MALE - SECURITY - SAID - BECAUSE -

I - BROUGHT - LUGGAGE - AS - PILIPINAS -

THEY - HAVE - TUMI - LUGGAGE - FIRST -

FLOOR - BECAUSE - DIDN'T - BUY - THAT -

I - WAS BANGED - ON - RESTROOM -

DISABLED - BECAUSE - 'PRIVATE -

PROPERTY' - SAID - 9P - CLOSED -

GOOGLE - SEARCH

MALICE - SLANDER - PERJURY -

$750,000 - MAX - FINE - AND OR -

IMPRISONMENT

TACOLOGY

CUBAN - CUISINE

SUSHI

CLOSES - 1A EDT

CMX - FILM - THEATRE - 10:30P - FINAL - SHOW

CASA - TUA - CUCINA - ITALIAN

9:30A - 10:30P - DAILY - THEY'VE

GOT - OWN - RESTROOMS

SO - BRICKELL - CITY - CENTRE

PRAY - DEUT 28 - CURSES - FOR

UNWELCOMING - PHILIPPINES I

ALREADY - SHOOK - DUST FROM

MY - FEET - 2023 - LAST - YEAR

OF - 67,000 - MEDICAL HISTORY

NOW - TOPLESS - DANCERS

TOPLESS - SINGERS

TOPLESS - VEILED - BELLY DANCER

TOPLESS - COCKTAIL - WAITTRESS

WHY LESBIANS - LESBIANS - WARNING

MEN - MARRIED - 2 - MEN - WHY - WHY

GOD - CREATED - US - NAKED - WHEN

WE - WERE - BORN

ADAM - AND - EVE - NAKED - CLOUDS

COVERED - THEIR - BODIES

WATER - CONSERVATION - WHEN

NAKED - BECAUSE - FEMALES - R

MOST - BEAUTIFUL - AS - NAKED

CLOTHES - ALSO - COVERS OUR

BEAUTY - WHILE - WE'RE - YOUNG

AND - BREATHTAKING - ALSO OUR

BODIES - NEED - 2 - BREATHE - SO

BEING - SINGLE - HOLIEST - LIVING

TOPLESS - JOBS - IS - A - RELEASE

FROM - COVERED - BY - EVIL - YES

HUMANS - HARRASSING - AND OR

DEGRADING - FEMALE - RACE - AS

UNITED STATES

TYRANT - OPPRESSIVE

NOT - 'LIFE - LIBERTY - AND PURSUIT

OF - HAPPINESS'

UNITED STATES - AGE 245

'LIES - LIES - LIES'

'LAND - OF - THE - FREE'

'HOME - OF - THE - AMERICAN INDIAN

BRAVE' - TORTURE - ABUSE - LIFE - IN

THE - UNITED STATES - THEY - TRIED 2

SHOOT - ME - AFTER - MY - BIRTHDAY

TODAY - AT - BRICKELL - CITY CENTRE

MIAMI - FLORIDA - FL - EIGHT STREET

DR JOSE RIZAL

MANILA - 3 BOILED EGGS - LAST MEAL

EXECUTED BY SPAIN - RIFFLE - SHOTS

NOT - A - NATIONAL - HERO OF THE

REPUBLIC - OF - THE - PHILIPPINES

[medea10]

Medea’s Worst Year of All-Time Anime/Game Superlative

Nobody saw this year coming…except for maybe Barbara Walters! Who could have predicted that this year would bless us with Australia burning, the entire west coast of the U.S. set on fire, stupid people setting fires because they wanted to reveal a baby’s gender, murder hornets, Ruth Bader Ginsburg dying, an almost war with Iran, serial killer mascots arrested, policemen killing unarmed black folks for having a counterfit $20, policemen killing unarmed black folks for breaking up a fight, policemen killing black folks for holding sandwiches, policemen killing unarmed black folks for fucking sleeping, a wide variety of “Karens” coming out of the woodworks, the end of Bojack, the end of Steven Universe, the end of Empire, and a pandemic so huge it’s killed the economy, canceled fun, and given the U.S. president the dumb-fuck idea of injecting bleach to kill the virus!?

SERIOUSLY, WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED ALL OF THIS WAS GOING TO FALL IN OUR LAPS LIKE HOT COFFEE ON THE CROTCH?!

At least there was anime this year.

…

At least there was SOME anime this year.

…

Biden won the election and Vickeblanca came out with Black Catcher this year.

Hey internet, it’s Medea here to give you her trashy opinion on this years anime and games that she’s watched or played. Because for some reason, my loser-ass loves to do out-dated as fuck memes! I shouldn’t complain, this shit brings a lot of attention to my page every year when I do this. Yes, 2020 was a complete dumpster fire so large that Domestic Girlfriend is crying foul. Many of us had to go on lockdown and ended up binge-watching the entire 957+ episodes of One Piece. I did no such thing. I am one of those “essential workers” so I didn’t hunker down for 9 months straight. But when I was home, I was watching anime. Actually, I would have done that even without the pandemic. I’m an introvert and find the human race to be deplorable.

You all know how this goes. I go over the best this year had to offer me. I had to search really hard to find the good in this year, especially in the anime world. Many things had to be put on hiatus or were delayed to a later date. Just a reminder, I don’t discriminate in what year the anime or game came out. If something came out in the happier times of 2007, that anime or game counts! Let’s get at it!

First Fandom of 2020: Interspecies Reviewers

Did anyone expect a fan-favorite of 2020 was going to be a hentai? Did anyone have on their batshit 2020 bingo card that a hentai was going to grab everybody’s attention? At the beginning of the year, my mind was set on the Railgun sequel and Eizoken. It wasn’t until licensors, streaming sites, and TV stations in Japan dropped this series that I started to pay attention. And got immediately hooked! It’s about three men going to different brothels and reviewing their time with the ladies. And these ladies are of different species! So with every bang comes possible enlightenment, new kinks, or a night of having your dick sucked off more than humanly possible. This anime blew away all of my skepticism and first impressions right out the window. Maybe it’s because I’m a degenerate and am often curious about sexual content, but this was a guilty pleasure of mine this year.

Favorite Main Character of 2020: Moroha from Yashahime

I know the majority of this story is going to revolve around Towa and Setsuna, but can we please focus a little more energy on the spunky, quarter-demon girl?! I know they’re pitting Moroha as the comic relief, but I’m hopeful that she’s going to surprise us one day. We fans of InuYasha would spend the past decade and some change wondering what InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter would be like. This year, we got our answer with Moroha. She’s got this wild side to her, probably due to the fact that she’s spent her entire life on her own. And while she’s silly at times, she can get down to business in a pinch. She has her father’s sense of smell. She has a sword. She’s able to shoot sacred arrows much like her mother. And to top it all off, she has this special rouge that if she puts it on, she’s able to unleash that ¼ demon power inside her and become Beniyasha! Yeah, I know the power only lasts a minute, she’s only 14, give her a break! I will gladly go through another week scratching my head at the confusion this story gives me if I get to see one more second of Moroha and her crazy antics or her bad-ass slaying.

Favorite Villain of 2020: The Devil Believers from Black Clover

This was one hell of a year for Black Clover. It would have been an easy choice to pick the devil and possible super devil that appeared during the elf fight. But I’d like to give a nod to the filler arc villains. And you can’t blame this group for wanting the power of the devil. They’re literally the bottom-rung of the Clover Kingdom and ones with little to no power or mana. So I can agree with why they would want the power of the devil. For one thing, they’d have more power. And for another thing, they’d be able to exact revenge on those who have wronged them. On some occasions I agree with exacting revenge and when it comes to the nobles and some characters in Black Clover, some folks do deserve death. I mean, have you met the king of the Clover Kingdom? Plus, this town and many other poorer towns get looked over by the kingdom. Peasant uprise! Anyways, I thought these people were really crafty in their crimes. I mean, they were able to knock Asta out on his ass with specially made poisons. I was actually hooked to this story of Black Clover (despite it being a filler arc). I know we’ll never see them again as they have been exiled, but it did have me semi-rooting for them.

Favorite Video Game Character of 2020: Honey from Pokemon – Sword & Shield (Expansion Pass)

Sorry Raymond from Animal Crossing!

Honey is the saucy wife of Mustard…I did not expect that to come out the way it did, but here we are! She has one hell of a team you can fight once a day. She looks out for her husband, the dojo, and the students of the dojo like they were her own children by providing food, drinks, and others. However that does come at a price as you do have to give up a sizable chunk of your watts that you collect in raid dens. I’m sure a bunch of MILF chasers were more than happy enough to give her all their hard-earned watts just so they can have their one-on-one moment on the beach with Honey.

What won me over was when that one guy from a rival dojo bad-mouthed her husband’s dojo and she…I think she kicked this guy’s ass herself. I don’t think she used any of her pokemon. Game Freak won’t show it, but we all know she kicked this guy’s ass to a point where he’s begging for mercy.

Honey, for the win!

Favorite Game of 2020: Animal Crossing New Horizons

This game was just Zen for me. I know the release of this game came with some controversy like Gamestop saying it’s an essential business and will remain open for people to get their copies of the game. Hell, I was one of those assholes in line waiting to get a copy on March 20th. Did I predict that a pandemic was going to rage out of control when I got a prepay copy of this for Christmas 2019? NO! I only predict political things, not deadly pandemics! The good news, we social distanced, didn’t catch the covid and got the game.

Anyways, this game has been a non-stop calming and fun ride. I can even forgive their botch-up of Bunny Day. They even have events for holidays I never thought they would ever touch. I mean, does anybody know when Museum Day is? Probably not until Animal Crossing had an event for it! I’ve been able to let my freak-flag fly with designing my island. And this goes way beyond New Leaf for the 3DS. I can make a sign post with the words “Fuck Trump” on it and post it in my yard. I can dig up trees and plant them elsewhere. I can poop in a toilet. I can craft furniture and put my own design on it. My furniture can have Tracey Sketchit’s beautiful mug on it. I can sit on Tracey Sketchit’s face. I am a sick fuck and I don’t care. I can give Raymond and Bob maid outfits. Magical time in my game! My hopes for next year…I don’t know, get the Festivale furniture, get Papi and Olivia to join my island, maybe visit Danny Trejo’s island, who knows, sky’s da limit!

Favorite Het Couple of 2020: Nasa and Tsukasa Yuzaki from Tonikawa

This is one of the most unorthodox marriages I’ve ever seen. But in this 90 Day Fiance world we’re living in, I shouldn’t pass judgement on these two getting married in episode one and not knowing much about each other. Nasa meets Tsukasa as he was about to be plowed by a truck. Tsukasa saves his life. Nasa says she’s beautiful. Tsukasa says she’ll be his girlfriend if they get married. He agrees. She disappears. Four years later, Tsukasa appears in front of Nasa’s front door with a marriage registration form. Congratulations buddy, you’ve got yourself a waifu! In some way, this felt like watching Yamato and Takeo from My Love Story. I was fascinated with them progressing through their relationship. The only difference is that Yamato and Takeo took the old-fashioned route. This couple did everything ass-backwards in terms of having a relationship. But I couldn’t take my eyes off Nasa and Tsukasa’s relationship during each episode. I find them cute.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2020: Karin Asaka x Emma Verde from Love Live Nijigasaki High School Idol Club

AAAAAAAAAH! I’M IN IDOL HELL AGAIN! Yeah, no kidding! I came this close to putting Miu x Nicole from that abomination 22/7. But thank God for Love Live! There’s no telling if any of the girls from the Love Live franchise are confirmed to be lesbians. But fuck it, all of them attend all-girl schools, no males exist anywhere, and Sunshine gave us Kanan x Mari! Yeah, you know Kanan and Mari is canon as fuck, don’t at me. So naturally, I found more third-years to ship in the new Love Live series. Now I know I should have put up Ai x Rina or Ayumu x Yuu. Especially the latter due to recent events! But Emma x Karin is my OTP.

Now Emma is an exchange student from Switzerland and in coming to Nijigasaki, she first meets Karin and they became instant friends. When Emma said she wants to become an idol, Karin helped her quite a bit. Even though Karin had no interest in being an idol as her modeling career is starting up, Karin would occasionally help Emma out. And surprise, surprise, Karin ends up fascinated with the idol world and Emma helps her come to the light to be herself there. Okay, I’m totally reading this in some fragmented way, but I’m currently playing Love Live School Idol Festival All Stars and the app game has a lot more stuff involving stuff the anime has yet to talk about. Confirmed or not, Karin x Emma for the win!

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2020: Eiji Okumura x Ash Lynx from Banana Fish

It took me a while to get here, but I finally made it to 2018’s overlooked gem. Forgive me for not being fully caught up, but from what I’m watching at the moment, I’m sticking to my guns and supporting the hell out of this. I mean, I could have mentioned The Titan’s Bride here…but fuck no, I ain’t goin’ down that mess! Ash has gone through a lot, I mean a helluva lot in his past. His cute boy looks have made him a target on the streets of New York, with mafia dons, and with prison inmates. But dude can kill if you mess with him. Then you have Eiji, who is just a literal example of a “pure cinnamon roll (until episode 8)”. These two are as opposite as you can possibly get. Ash is from New York and Eiji is from Japan. Ash likes hot dogs with everything on it. Eiji likes grilled fish and natto. Ash spent the majority of his life killing on the streets. Eiji was a track superstar. You get my meaning. But when we got these two together it’s quite adorable. Ash is really able to change when he’s around Eiji. Ash isn’t some heartless killer on the street about to kill a thug with prosthetic fingers. When he’s with Eiji, he’s a joker that can easily get scared of pumpkins. And even in later episodes, you got these two acting like a husband and wife.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect to Get Into: Les Miserables – A Girl Named Cosette

Let me explain a little something. Les Mis! I have never seen the play, watched the movie, or read the novel prior to picking up this anime. Not a single one of those! And that’s a bit of a head-scratcher when you realize I was a bit of a musical theater nut in my teenage years. But one thing I do like is when Japan does an anime based on plays or historical events (like Romeo x Juliet or Rose of Versailles). The second I popped in Les Miserables the anime, I wanted to binge watch the whole 52 episode series. It is by no means a perfect adaptation of the Victor Hugo novel. Several key players end up surviving all the way up to the end of the story! But because this was my very first viewing of anything Les Mis, I took to the story of Cosette and was eager to see what was going to happen next in her tale. Unlike the movies and play, Cosette was the main focus of the story besides Jean Valjean and Javert. And thanks to watching the unfortunate stories of Cosette, Jean Valjean, the Thenadiers, Javert, Marius, and the rest, I thought it was time to watch the OTHER adaptations to Les Mis.

…

Russell Crowe sucks.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni

Higurashi or When They Cry is one of my favorite fandoms of all time! So naturally when we heard that it was making a comeback, I was excited. It was also very odd that Higurashi was given this sequel or reboot. Ahem! There’s another franchise that needs a face-lift. Umineko still deserves a better treatment. Plus, now that this series was out of the faulty hands of Studio Deen, Higurashi will get the special care it deserves. Believe it or not, it wasn’t just the anime that made a comeback for me, but the manga as well. Since 2009, I’ve read several volumes (out of order) and would every now and then come back to read the story. Back to the anime, this reboot or sequel…you know what, I’m gonna call it a “rebooqual”! This rebooqual sucked me back to the town of Hinamizawa and all the murders. Every week, I find myself comparing the current episode to one from the 2006 version. But then the fourth episode of each arc seems to catch me off guard.

Where are they going with this story and these twist endings to our favorite arcs? I did not expect Rena to turn a simple attempted murder into the end of School Days! I didn’t expect Rika to die in the most disgusting fashion they could think of. Could someone kill Teppei fucking Hojo? I will pay ¥5000 for someone to do that job. So yeah, because I know how much of this plays out and who does what, I’m usually watching and reading while making wise-ass remarks. But I still have fun with it.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: Konosuba

In a year where I caught up with the popular Isekais like Shield Hero and Re:Zero, I found the wacky misadventures of Kazuma Satou to be amusing as all get-out. From the first 5 minutes, I found myself laughing at Kazuma’s misfortune. Seriously, how the fuck do you mistake a tractor for a car, have a heart attack, piss yourself, and fucking die in the first couple minutes to the series? You can only get away with this shit in gag animes! But it’s not just Kazuma’s dumbass, there’s a mage who only does explosions, but loses all her energy after one blow-up. Then there’s a busty, blonde who gets turned on by getting hurt and can’t strike anything with her sword. Anime’s biggest masochist or Cheryl Tunt incarnate, I haven’t decided which one to believe! Then you have this loud, crazy goddess chick named Aqua. She’s also useless about 86% of the time! Watching their unfortunate missions is all the crack that I need to get through this year. Seriously, Darkness is just all kinds of fucked up, but we love her.

Last Fandom of 2020: Yashahime

That’s right, the InuYasha sequel gets top spot here! Even though week after week I find myself asking more questions than when the episode started, I’m still hooked. If you’re like me, you watched and fell in love with the series InuYasha. So if they’re doing a sequel, you’re expecting to see all of your favorite characters from the prequel like InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Sesshomaru, Koga, Rin, and the rest. Actually, no! Quite the opposite! We’ve got Sesshomaru’s daughters, but no Sesshomaru. Rin is sleeping in a tree we think! We’ve got InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter, but they’re M.I.A. None of the girls even know a thing about their birth parents.

Now are these new characters a catch like the ones from the previous series? Some are! The three main girls, yes! Especially Moroha! I’ve already praised her name earlier in the superlative. Towa and Setsuna do take on some personality traits from their parents. Setsuna is definitely serious like Sesshomaru and Towa sometimes has a carefree yet loyal aura to her like Rin. I know I’m always skeptical when a series gives us a sequel featuring the offspring of the main characters. Especially when you’ve got some lame examples like Boruto and Eureka Seven AO (I might retract my diss on Boruto later)! As each week gives us a new episode, we’re unraveling new clues into a lot of things involving our old favorite characters, as well as the new ones. So I have high hopes for Yashahime for the time being!

[delanyb]

Since I’ve been slacking off with the Fnaf headcanon series for quite some time now, with no good reason, have some AR skins and event character headcanons

Shamrock Freddy

Like Frostbear and Firework Freddy,he’s a Freddy made specifically for the holidays. St. Patrick day to be exact

Has a Irish ascent to go with his holiday theme

Similar to Rockstar Freddy, he desires Faz-coin to a unhealthy degree

Enjoys talking about St. Patrick day traditions and folklore.

Is pretty self-centered

Usually picks on Frostbear for no good reason

All the other animatronics who take part in the Fazbear Funtime Service either are indifferent to him like Chica or 8 Bit Baby. While others like regular Freddy and Bonnie hate him for just being a overall jerk

In some instances when the animatronics are being shipped together in trucks for customers, a Shamrock Freddy always seems to cause some sort of commotion that usually leaves everyone in mangled animatronic parts by the end

The company was actually considering removing him off from the service completely given all the problem he caused

But considering that he makes for great revenue during the St. Patrick day season, they just left him alone for the other animatronics to deal with.

Firework Freddy

Aside from Chica with her cupcake, he’s the only one who comes with a accessory.

Has lots of nicknames, but the most common ones are Firework and just Summer Freddy

All the other animatronics find his firework very cool

Springtrap however does not becuase anything that goes boom gives him flashbacks to when the springlocks snappped back in the saferoom all those years ago...

Is a expert on cooking with a barbecue

Has a lot of knowledge on sport related stuff from all over the world

Hates the cold

However he doesn’t hate Frostbear and feels bad for him becuase of Shamrock Freddy’s constant bullying

Has a lot of extras clothes and extra accessories that correspond with the traditions of the customer(s) that ordered a vist from him

For instance, he may be all decked out for 4th of July one year, and the next you’ll see a bear ready for the beach and so fourth.

Constantly switching his attire for each visit does get a little annoying, but for him, making people happy in the end makes it worth all the hassle.

VR Toy Freddy

Is a completely different entity than regular Toy Freddy

Is the textbook definition of absolute gamer chad

Playing video games takes first priority for him

Recently he’s been playing the newest instalment in the fnamh’s (Five Nights At Mr Hug’s) series

He’s quite clumsy and bumps into other animatronics or common house things likes selves on a daily basis

But on the rare chance he’s not using his headset he’s usually making absurd theorys on what’s going on with the lore in the new Vr game

His main theory is that that this new strange crate looking character escaped from dumper purgatory from the previous game in the series and placed themselves into the in universe VR game.

Shamrock Freddy question why he’s still invested in that series though. As he states, the original trilogy is the best and that it all went downhill once that weird gumball machine used paper plates as a skin suit.

Whenever He or anyone else for that matter says something along the lines of that, VR Toy Freddy always goes into essay long arguments for why he’s wrong. He’s very quick to defend his favourite franchise

Jokes that he’s The Man Behind The Slaugher unironically even when the meme has died ( *In this universe the man behind the slaughter meme exists because of the Fnaf 1 news paper clippings, along with the fact that Springtrap is a well known entity thanks to HW, and the Fazbear Funtime service.*

Chocolate Bonnie

Nicknames are Choco Bonnie, and unfortunately as immature as it, Poop Bonnie

He’s made of real actual chocolate

Once somebody’s dog took a big bite out of his bottom right stomach area that simply couldn’t be repaired. The dog took 87 bites out of him btw

That’s why every single copy of the Chocolate Bonnie model scanned in after that day has that big and distracting hole

His three button and botie are mint candy flavoured

Real Easter eggs are hidden inside his stomach cavity and are placed near his endo parts

Though he’s more appropriate for Easter time, sometime he’s advertised for the Halloween season for that trick or treat goodness

Similar to Bon-Bon and Funtime Freddy , Easter and Chocolate Bonnie are a two in one package.

Given the surprising popularity of the Funtime Service, (*in universe*) a merch store has being set up to only spread word of their brand but to bring these beloved characters in the pop culture consensus again, and Chocolate Bonnie gets a bunch of merch

Whether it be a coffee mug,a shirt, or the type of chocolate bunny you’ll see in those craft stores, Cholocate Bonnie has it all.

Easter Bonnie

Is very dramatic and has a showman like personality. (Similar to Funtime Foxy in UCN)

His Easter egg pattern on his stomach area is actually drawn with crayons and the circles are get plain circle shaped stickers you would find at the your local dollar store. Goes to show that the Fazbear Funtime Service sticks to the roots of Fazbear Entertainment, being really cheep

How Easter and Chocolate Bonnie entertain customers is that Easter Bonnie usually has a “dramatic” retelling of the Easter bunny fairytale while Chocolate Bonnie’s the food, customers can eat while enjoying the play

He’s quite athletic

The “Happy Easter” tag on the top of his ear isn’t actually a intentional design choice

Easter Bonnie just stole it from a random candy store nearby

Some confuse him as a winter themed Bonnie covered in snow due to his mainly white colour palette. Considering that Freddy Frostbear’s a thing that isn’t that much of a stretch

Can perfectly imitate any of the other animatronic’s voices. It honestly shocks animatronics like Springtrap or Foxy with how well Easter Bonnie can capture this respective accents to a tee

He prefers to hop like a actual bunny than walking normally

Loves decorating Easter eggs.

Toxic Springtrap

All that purple goo is actually just fungi infected with some of that classic remnant

Due to his frightening nature he’s only available during Halloween time

However despite his looks he’s actually quite kind at heart. Much more than regular Springtrap that’s for sure

Is actually scared of the dark

He likes playing chess

Doesn’t like the fact that he’s advertised as something to be feared

Usually hangs around with 8-Bit Baby the most and the two usually play board games all day

Although like everyone else he feels some sort of discomfort whenever he’s shocked, the pain is really minor for him compared to other animatronics

Given that he’s only desired during the month of spooks, for the rest of the year, he’s left alone at the factory where all the animatronics are constructed and duplicated in the first place

Due to this he’s got a pleta of abandonment isssues

System Error Toy Bonnie

His head, body and limbs can be detached and put back together very easily

That’s how he entertains customers in fact. He’s basically a animatronic sized construction set, similar to Mangle

Their eyes glow bright orange in darkness

Is able to phaze through physical objects

Due to some people complaining about regular Toy Bonnie’s voicebox, the team chose to implant stock computer sound effects into System Error Toy Bonnie’s voicebox rather than actual dialogue.

Knows your WiFi password

Is taller than regular Toy Bonnie

The system error phrase near his stomach area gets brighter amd brighter whenever his costume shell is damaged

Static electricity flows through him from time to time. So it recommend that whenever a customer should wear gloves and other appropriate safety equipment when interacting with the animatronic

Balloon Boy always tries to get the static electricity balloon trick to work, but it never seems to work. System Error Toy Bonnie could really care less about this ordeal though

Highscore Toy Chica

Loves playing video games

But unlike Vr Toy Freddy, Her life doesn’t focus on it 24/7

She likes playing a variety of games too. virtual games, handheld games, games on consoles, board games, etc

Is very supportive

Knows what emojis are

Considering that she’s meant to be hip with the kids, she knows a lot about current gaming and fandom culture in general

Is a pretty good speed runner when it comes to video games

Although it doesn’t happen often she can get quite serious when it comes to gaming. You can tell when she’s just playing for fun or not if her endoskeleton eyes and grey are exposed

is indifferent to the term “Gamer Girl”

Hates games where you can’t skip the cutscenes

Radioactive Foxy

A random model of Foxy accidentally found his way into a power plant and eventually got covered in radioactive goo

The higher ups working for the Fazbear Funtime service thought that it would be a shame to throw out a perfectly good plush suit and endo. So after some strange testing involving remnant they just rebranded this as a completely new skin.

Green radioactive material drips over his body all all times

His hook is twice as big as regular Foxy’s. Probably due to the combination of experimenting with both remnant and toxic radioactive goo

Has no eyebrows due to the constant radioactive energy

Thanks to Radioactive Foxy’s transparent look, this was the first time any of the customers got a real good look on the inerworkings on how a endo properly fits into a plush suit.

Is on the hunt for and wants to consume more radioactive energy

Can transform into a more liquid based form

He’s slower than regular foxy but sill runs at a moderately fast pace

One of the more aggressive animatronics in the service alongside the likes of regular Springtrap and Frostbear

8-Bit Baby

Similar to Highscore Toy Chica, she’s meant to be marketed to the gaming crowd.

Specifically those who enjoy old school videogames

Can despense real cupcakes for eating pleasure

Has a extra sprinkler perfect for ice cream decorating

Her fan operates correctly and henceforth can be used for cooling or drying needs

Her microphone is preprogrammed with chiptune styled music

Has become many people’s favourite animatronic and has been in high demand ever since they were first brought to the service due to their uniqueness

Moves at a snail’s pace

Loves playing board games with Toxic Springtrap.

Regualr Circus Baby finds her 8 bit version adorable

[imaginethebeautifulworld]

‘The Universe in our hands’ I have a lot of titles bouncing around in my head w vague plot bunnies attached

​The phrase itself is just teeming with potential, and while I can see some vague storylines shaping together based on it, what I'm really picturing is a nonfiction piece.

Mind, I don't write essays much anymore, of any calibre.

But this really is giving me the thought of a more inspirational piece, tying in examples of heroes throughout the past year, how each of us has shaped the world around us, even in seemingly the tiniest of ways.

The world is vast, and each of us is only a singular lifeforce upon it.

But we do each have an impact on this world, even if it's seemingly something as small as feeding a pigeon, giving its flight a ten second delay that could spare someone else being pooped on later (gross, I know. I'm sorry. ^_^; ). Even something as small as scribbling notes in a book that will be gifted secondhand someday- 

Your mark is on its pages, your own story now inherently intertwined with the words of those who came before.

And there's something so comforting in that, shaping the story in even the smallest ways. So long as there is Humanity, we will craft tales of Heroism and Magic, of Love and Light.

But we are the storykeepers, the seekers, those who listen and share and leave our small marks on the pages of History.

The Cosmos is far too big for us to hope to understand, at least in the next few lifetimes.

But this little corner of the Universe is in our hands, and it's our duty to make sure we take care of It for those who will follow.

Thanks for the submission, Lovely~!​ 

[alltingfinns]

For the July celebration of Sherlock’s Ten Year Jubilee I am continuing what I was already doing the rewatch:

“Look at you and John.” Superquickly “What about us?”

The theme of this episode is John and Sherlock being defensive about their relationship.

(Okay that is John’s theme in general, but Sherlock isn’t usually.)

Wait, did Henry and Sherlock just decide to ignore that John went off on his own? Both of them?

They do play with some classic horror staples like the scary sound with an innocent origin and jump scares.

Ohh, that sideways glance at John as he dismisses the hound, not realizing that Sherlock lied when he said he didn’t see it.

The way the scene is filmed whenever there’s a closeup of Sherlock with John in the picture almost looks like they are separated and then superimposed. Sherlock’s doubts are separating them.

Spock as a Vulcan was not free from feelings but rather constantly keeping them under check. He also claimed to be quoting an ancestor when saying that “whatever remains” quote, so a descendent of Doyle? SH is canonically fictional in the ST universe.

Getting sidetracked.

John had much better patient relation with Henry. Why did he think repeating Sherlock’s name was going to help?

John looks pissed.

“Look for the dog/woman” (I am not even attempting to write out the French) classic crime novel theme with a canine twist. Usually it’s about looking for motive though.

A bit silly that they don’t notice the man who screamed “NOTHING WRONG!” pointing at them just a minute later.

Still don’t get quite why John is so pissed before Sherlock tells him to leave him alone. Sherlock is upset and not handling it well but John takes it personally?

Maybe the emotion got to him too?

For the first time I saw “diana” in Henry’s flashback. His memory is clearing up.

All those other guys, just looky-loos? Except they came in their cars which isn’t the most discreet peeping tool out in the moor, so are they waiting their turn?

Sherlock knows John’s type but still doesn’t realize that he belongs to it.

Henry’s like “I knew I shouldn’t have gotten the ironic cable package”

“Only a nutter if you’re wrong”

Aww, even when things are rough John is more concerned with Sherlock than the case. His music even chimes in.

But here comes the party crasher.

Frankland is almost too obvious with that sabotage.

Omg! The Netflix subtitle referred to them as “sambo”! A serious couple who live together! It’s like whoever’s translating this thought there’s no point in being subtle about the “live-in PA” implications.

Yeah, no, John. Frankland may have fooled you with his schtick but he clearly knows who Henry’s therapist (and other weak points) is.

And then not at all subtly implicating Stapleton. I think someone went to the same deflecting-guilt coach as the president!

Look on the bright side John, for once the girl thought you had a thing for a guy that wasn’t Sherlock.

He really likes standing on that cliff. (When you are tall but still want to be tall.)

“Oh look you’ve got damp” is about my level of small talk.

Act eccentric enough and you can sneak out some sugar without raising questions.

Between Sherlock standing dramatically in high places and spotting John looking concerned in a cemetery...

UMQRA didn’t lead anywhere but sex.

A serious discussion about their friendship and Sherlock’s humanity in a cemetery...

Sherlock technically doesn’t insult John, he just calls him not a genius. Still doesn’t mean that John is average (or less) in intellect.

Sherlock, dear Sherlock. It really seemed more plausible to you that John was in on some Mycroft conspiracy to call Lestrade Greg, than the possibility that it is his given name?

I’m assuming this is where the mystrade ship set sail since it’s the first real connection of any kind between the characters.

Not your handler.

And again John shows his cleverness with appreciation from Sherlock.

The tenderness in “you don’t have to keep apologizing”.

Oh poor John. If you don’t take sugar in your coffee it can taste outright nasty when it’s added, especially if there’s no milk. But Sherlock just pouts the slightest bit and John weakens.

The Sherlock mirror was going to put the dog down but couldn’t.

I don’t get the denial about Sherlock being autistic when they have John mention aspergers. Of course the stigma is so strong you have plenty of people saying aspergers isn’t autism at all, which is sort of like saying hay fever isn’t pollen allergy.

It’s plot convenient that they go to Baskerville but is it just for the literally lab condition? He does analyze the sugar there.

John smiles a bit at “could be dangerous”. At this point that sentence should be engraved in their wedding rings.

I wonder what he promised Mycroft in return. “No fat jokes for a week.” “A year.” “Fine.”

You really feel for Henry.

The aerosol is dispersed in a room with the warning “Keep out! Unless you want a cold.” COVID-19 premonitions in my 2012 episode of Sherlock?

Also, how many others were unwitting test subjects?

Clearly light sensitivity is a symptom. Obviously didn’t come up in Dewer’s Hollow.

John trying to call Sherlock with the John music, ahh.

There’s almost no time between “can you see it” and Sherlock’s appearance so he must have been close by.

Sherlock has at least the morsel of decency to look guilty when John says he was wrong.

Why is everything about the bunny the absolute funniest thing?

A jellyfish!

Also Sherlock sneaking glances at John while doing lab work...

I had to look up Aequorea Victoria because I almost thought they picked it for the Victorian reference, but it is best known as a source for GFP (green fluorescent protein). They did their homework.

It may be a bit silly, but I really like the mind palace sequence.

It only works because Sherlock at some point read about CIA classified projects. I feel this is an untapped bit of his background. How much work has he done for his brother?

He figures out that Barrymore feel such a familiarity with Tatcher that he would refer to her by Maggie.

Aerosol Dispersal, how is that not what you focus on, Sherlock?

People make fun of the “top secret sweaters” but 1) people print sweaters for the silliest reasons and 2) it probably started out as a team name thing for the scientists involved before things went haywire and the project shut down. The project H.O.U.N.D. may have been a collective team name that ended up attached to the disaster. They made those sweaters thinking they were going to do a lot of other projects which they presumably didn’t.

Goddammit, Sherlock! You know a mind altering fear drug is around and you tell Lestrade to bring a gun? All John said was that Henry attacked her, although I guess he heard Louise saying gun.

There was a lot that I had no further comment on.

“Why not kill me?” “Because he needed to discredit you.”

:|

Don’t know if I’d look so relieved by the idea of dying from an explosion. But it does look like he’d rather die than face it, and he may have been tired from the secret keeping and the conspiracy upon conspiracy.

Sherlock did see why they didn’t put the dog down, but this episode in general enforces the “playing Sherlock Holmes” for John’s benefit. It’s possible that his main takeaway from their fight was that John doesn’t like him having feelings.

Ahh, I see. I guessed John figured out that Sherlock “drugged” him back when he was angry about sugar. The realization now is that Sherlock locked him in the lab.

It’s so mean and so funny. I feel bad for laughing and yet I do.

Okay here he calls John average.

John wants him to admit being wrong but Sherlock fears that he will lose John’s interest then. “Won’t happen again.”

Poop jokes! Kind of feel that was specifically to take advantage of the “go see a man about a dog”.

Wonder what’s on Moriarty’s mind?

[kdurbin666]

About me, my name is Kandace Renee Durbin. I am 31 years old and I live in Burlington, Iowa. I’ve lived here my entire life. My birthday is Dec. 29.

I’ve been with my husband Robby for 12 years now. Our anniversary is Aug. 15th. We have 2 children together, Adrian who is 11 and Alayna who is 10 years old.

We have 2 puppies named Abu and Iago, after characters from Disney’s Aladdin. We also have 2 bunnies named Brownie and Bugs.

I am currently unemployed but am actively searching for a job and hopefully will find one soon.

I love to collect things. You could call me a hoarder, lol. Some of the things I collect are Dragons, Sharks, Zombies, Butterflies, The Poop Emoji, things that are Brightly Colored, Office/penpal supplies, unicorns, mermaids, rainbows, sparkles, anything 420 related, animals (especially sloths, lynx, and panda bears), Narwhals, and skulls (especially sugar skulls).

I suffer from depression, social anxiety, BPD, and insomnia. I also have a hiatal hernia that has ulcers inside of it. Sometimes the ulcers bleed and I become anemic. And that really sucks.

My hobbies include Reading, Writing, Coloring, playing the Sim’s 4 on my laptop, and Spending time Outside. Some of my favorite book genres are paranormal, Syfy, urban fantasy, romance, and apocalypse/survival type books. I also enjoy anything involving dragons. A few of my favorite authors are Dean Koontz, PC Cast, Gini Koch, Michael Grant, Gena Showalter, and Jane Yolan, just to name a few.

. My favorite season is Summer because it’s dry, sunny, and warm. I also don’t mind late Spring (sometimes anyways) when it finally warms/dries up. I do not like cold, mud, and rain. They are my 3 least favorite things. Some of my favorite outdoor activities are having a bonfire, going for walks, camping, fishing, and just lounging around the yard. Sometimes I just sit outside and work on my letters while I’m catching some sun.

I don’t really watch much TV. We don’t have cable or internet here. I do have a Roku TV, which is pretty useless except for a DVD player right now, but I don’t even watch many movies. Robby watches it more than I do. But some of the TV shows I do like to watch are Z Nation, American Horror Story, Steven Universe, and game shows. My 3 favorite gameshows are Wheel of Fortune (America’s game!), The Price is Right, and Family Feud. Some of my favorite movies are Robinhood: Men in Tights, Spaceballs, Tremors (all 6 movies), and the following Disney films: Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, the animated Robinhood, and The Sword in the Stone.

I listen to rock, country, 80s, 90s, and golden oldies music genres. I’ll listen to just about anything, but I don’t like much rap/hip hop. A few of my favorite bands/singers are Kottonmouth Kings, Metallica, Korn, System of a Down, Disturbed, Alan Jackson, Luke Combs, Dolly Parton, the Temptations, the Beach Boys, Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, and many many more.

#penpalswantedusa #penpalswanted #snailmail

[anistarrose]

Fateful Detours - Ch. 1 (Gravity Falls x Infinity Train)

Summary: Ford misses his bus to Backupsmore, and tries to catch a ride on a train instead.

Warnings: none for this chapter

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20331070/chapters/48205837

(The Middle) (The End)

I’ve been craving a Gravity Falls/Infinity Train crossover for weeks now, so several late-night bursts of inspiration later, here we are! (Expected to be a 3-chapter fic, probably slightly under 10k words. I’m notoriously bad at word count estimates, but I’m pretty confident about the chapter count.)

(Big Infinity Train spoilers, by the way! In case that wasn't obvious.)

***

Ford’s room looked emptier than he could ever remember it being, and he was eager to leave it as soon as he could.

Carefully, he folded one last dress shirt and laid it down in his suitcase, which took some effort to zip closed. Most of his books, and a few bare-bones pieces of furniture, had already been taken to his Backupsmore dorm room, but his mother had insisted that he wait until the day before freshman orientation to move out of the house in Glass Shard Beach. And Ford had obliged, reluctantly.

He took a quick look under the bunk bed to make sure he wasn’t missing anything, but found nothing but dust bunnies. The bunk bed was a big part of why he was in such a rush to leave — sleeping in it every night still stung, a reminder of all the upheavals and betrayals and dashed hopes from last spring that had redirected his whole life and ruined his future.

And there was plenty of time to dwell on all that each night, because Ford still wasn’t used to falling asleep without someone else in the room.

He tried to slip out the front door without anyone noticing, but Caryn caught him.

“Hold it right there, Stanford!” she called. “You’re not seriously about to leave for college without giving your dear old Ma a hug first, are you?”

“Mom, I’m going to miss the bus at this rate,” Ford grumbled, but he gave her a quick hug as she kissed his forehead.

Filbrick watched from the stairs, looking neither proud nor disappointed.

“Did you pack your suit and tie?” he asked.

“Yes, Dad. They’re already in the dorm room.”

“Good. Now, go impress some smart people.”

“In Backupsmore, I’m not sure how many other smart people there’ll be to impress,” Ford muttered under his breath. Then, raising his voice, he added: “Well… goodbye, I guess. I’ll call you when I get there, Mom.”

The bus stop was about halfway across town, and if the last bus of the day was actually running on time for once, Ford suspected he’d be cutting it close, so he walked down the street at a brisk pace.

I’ve got everything I need, right? No more textbooks to bring along, no one else to say goodbye to…

He paused as he passed the sidewalk offshoot that led to the beach. His suitcase kept rolling, its extendable handle jabbing into his back.

Had he left anything on the Stan O’ War? He hadn’t been there since… well, since the argument…

He rubbed his back, took a look at his watch and did some quick mental math, and started to head for the beach.

Just a quick detour. The bus will probably be late anyways.

***

The boat wasn’t quite as much of a wreck as he’d feared, but enough of a wreck that he still couldn’t help but feel guilty.

Splotches of seagull poop dotted the deck, and something reeked like some small animal had gotten stuck under the planks and died. Pools of off-color water from last week’s rainstorms welled up in corners, and worst of all, the flag had evidently been stolen.

Ford shooed away a few gulls as he boarded the boat and examined the contents of the cabin: a cheap compass, a slightly water-damaged vexillology book, and an unopened bag of toffee peanuts.

“What am I doing?” He shook his head. “Why did I think I’d find anything useful here?!”

As he stormed off the boat, he could’ve sworn that the creaking of the planks beneath his feet sounded… disappointed. And lonely.

“No!” he muttered to himself, surely confusing anyone who might’ve been watching. “I’m not going to get guilted into missing my bus by an inanimate object! It is perfectly normal for me to feel nostalgic, against my better judgement, for a project I poured hours of work into, but it is also perfectly logical to leave it behind now. This was an unrealistic dream, and now I’m finally moving on to a more realistic one!”

He checked his watch, and sped up his pace. Assuming the last bus to Backupsmore was running late again, he should’ve still been able to make it…

He rounded the corner just in time to see the bus pulling away — slightly behind schedule, but not nearly as much as usual. Not quite as much as Ford had needed.

“Wait!” he yelled, breaking into a sprint and waving frantically in an attempt to catch the driver’s attention, but the wheels of his suitcase hit a bump in the side walk and he lost his grip on the handle. By the time he’d picked it up again, the bus was long gone.

“Well, fuck my whole life, I guess!” Ford muttered. He had half a mind to just lie down on the sidewalk and stay there until someone decided he was being too much of a nuisance and dragged him away. Why had he thought checking on the boat would be a worthwhile use of his time? Why had he ever thought the boat would be worth anything?

He pulled out his Backupsmore brochure and double-checked the orientation schedule — it didn’t start until ten the next morning. That was more than enough time to take a series of taxis, or hitchhike, or something — because spending another night in his parents’ house just wasn’t an option. Not with Caryn doting on her one remaining son with an enthusiasm meant for two, not with Filbrick constantly grilling Ford on how he planned to first make a good impression and later make a fortune, and certainly not with that empty, empty room and that goddamn bunk bed.

So Ford took a moment to stretch his already-sore arms, and then set off in the general direction of the road to Backupsmore.

***

Hitchhiking wasn’t as easy as Ford had hoped it would be, and the storm brewing overhead didn’t seem to do much to make drivers feel more sympathetic towards his plight.

“At least it’s not actually raining yet,” Ford said to himself, and was immediately met with a droplet of water striking his glasses. “Damn it.”

As he dried them off with his shirt, he heard a ear-grating ringing sound coming from ahead, and looked up to see the arms of the railroad gate closing. “Damn it!”

For a second, he seriously considered making a mad dash for it, trying to duck under the gate and get across the tracks before the train could block them — but that moment of hesitation was all the train needed to speed into view.

And then, as if to to add insult to injury, it ground to a halt, blocking the road and stretching as far as the eye could see in either direction.

“Oh, come on!” Ford groaned as a few more raindrops struck his glasses. “Has the whole universe collectively decided not to cut me a single break today?!”

He took a deep breath. “Okay, calm down. I can probably sneak between the cars and get across…”

He blinked a few times as he approached the tracks, vision blurred by his wet glasses. Strangely, it looked less like the freight trains Ford was used to and more like a passenger train, with windows illuminated by a neon green light that stood out in the stormy August afternoon.

He took a step towards the stairs near the back of a car, and to his surprise, the destination sign lit up to read Backupsmore University.

Which was weird, because this railroad crossing in the middle of nowhere didn’t seem like a train station, but Ford wasn’t about to let his good fortune go to waste. Lifting up his suitcase, he cautiously placed a foot on the first step…

A vortex of shimmering green and gold lit up the staircase, and before Ford could even react, everything went white.

***

Something poked Ford in the face, and he groaned, rolling to the side. “Five more minutes…”

He was met with a hissing noise that absolutely did not belong in his bedroom, and he instinctively swatted at the source of the sound. He opened his eyes just in time to see a bright orange praying mantis the size of his hand go flying.

“Ugh! What kind of dorm room is —”

His voice cut off as his eyes adjusted, and he took in his surroundings. Trees as tall as skyscrapers with leaves colored like bursts of flames surrounded him, and the sky overhead was a deep emerald green.

“Oh,” Ford muttered. “So I’m concussed and hallucinating. Wonderful.”

He heard the hissing sound again, and looked down to see the mantis approaching his foot, almost perfectly camouflaged atop the blanket of orange and crimson leaves that covered the forest floor. The only feature that stood out were its large blue-gray eyes, which showed more emotion than Ford had ever seen in an insect, looking almost… apologetic?

It chirped, and darted off between the trees, doubling back a moment later when it realized Ford wasn’t following it. It waved a scythe-like arm in the air, as if beckoning him.

“Hallucinating, and anthropomorphizing the emotions of a non-sapient insect,” Ford muttered to himself. “Unless I got… transported to another dimension, but how could that possibly —”

He looked down at his hands, expecting to see a clear indicator that he was dreaming like an incorrect number of fingers, but all six — and no more — were present on each hand. But that wasn’t all.

On his right palm was a number, green and glowing and unchanging:

166

“This — this is just some kind of cruel joke! Would I hallucinate this?” He waved his hand in the air, wiped it on his shirt, spat on it and rubbed it with his thumb — but nothing even caused the glow to fade, much less wash off. “What the hell?”

The mantis hissed again, then began to scuttle off, and Ford got the distinct impression that it was getting impatient, and wouldn’t wait around for him another time. So he followed it, weaving between trees and listening to leaves crunch beneath his feet as he stepped over twisted roots and gurgling streams.

It was a genuinely beautiful scene, he had to admit. Under different circumstances, he might’ve stopped to do a sketch — though he struggled to imagine a scenario in which he’d be so unfazed by alien worlds that he’d feel comfortable just sitting down and taking a moment to draw.

As he walked, he checked the contents of his backpack — it contained everything he’d packed in it earlier that afternoon, as far as he could remember — but realized his suitcase was nowhere in sight. Which wasn’t a unfixable, since there hadn’t been anything in it that he couldn’t replace, but sure wasn’t great news either. He didn’t have the money to buy books whenever he felt like it, especially with classes starting in the fall. (Assuming he even had a chance to get out of whatever this place was and back to Backupsmore, that was.)

The mantis came to a halt, and Ford, lost in thought, only barely avoided stepping on it. It faced the largest tree Ford had seen yet, easily fifteen feet in diameter — but strangest of all was the door carved into the trunk, one lone sign of human involvement in what otherwise appeared to be an untouched wilderness.

The mantis turned back to Ford, chirped twice, and then sprung into a nearby bush, disappearing from sight. Not having any better plans, Ford shrugged and twisted the golden handle of the door. It swung open with a metallic creaking noise, but little resistance, to reveal…

Finally, the memory of boarding the train at the railroad crossing returned to Ford as he found himself staring at the bridge between two colossal train cars. As he stepped through the door, a gust of dry air instantly hit him, and he realized the train was speeding through a barren wasteland, devoid of any signs of civilization as far as he could see.

And he was pretty sure of two things: first, that this didn’t resemble any environment in the northeastern United States, and second, that he hadn’t been unconscious long enough for the train to leave that region.

“This is another dimension? Or maybe a series of pocket dimensions? Unless…” He ducked back inside the forest car, and on a hunch, attempted to walk past the door’s tree. Sure enough, his face smacked into a wall, and the hyper-realistic image of the continuing forest path flickered for a moment.

“Not so much pocket dimensions as sophisticated simulations, then,” Ford concluded, readjusting his glasses and rubbing his sore nose. He was probably going to wind up with a bruise. “Assuming the other cars work under the same rules…”

He hurried across the bridge between cars, grimacing as he looked down. Trying to jump down to the wasteland would be a reckless decision even by his standards, given the massive height drop as well as the lack of shelter or resources as far as the eye could see. Besides, it was the train that held so many unanswered mysteries and potentially infinite environments to explore…

Ready to experience the discovery of a lifetime, Ford opened the next door, and found himself facing a classroom of screaming beavers.

There were about two dozen of them, and they made an unbearable racket as they threw themselves across the room, hurling school supplies at each other and gnawing on the wooden legs of their own desks and chairs. None of the students stood any taller than Ford’s knees, but their sheer numbers made it impossible for the teacher to control them. He was the lone anthropomorphic animal out of the bunch, appearing to be a perfectly normal human man except for his beaver head and tail, and he kept trying to smack the unruly students on their heads with a yardstick — only for one of them to snatch it out of his hands, and gnaw it in half in a matter of seconds.

The teacher stared at Ford with wide, pleading beaver eyes. Ford stared back.

“Why the fuck,” he asked, “did you give them desks made of wood?!”

A single tear ran down the beaver teacher’s cheek.

“What else were you expecting to happen?!” Ford shouted.

The teacher crumpled to the floor, curling into the fetal position as he began to softly weep. Ford started to cautiously make his way through the classroom, carefully stepping over beavers while holding his sleeve over his face to avoid inhaling any sawdust.

He nearly lost his balance and toppled to the ground when one beaver sprang past him, grabbing ahold of the handle at the bottom of the pull-down map hanging in the front of the classroom. The map immediately rolled back up, yanking the beaver to the top of the now-exposed blackboard. Grinning as evilly as a beaver could grin, it popped in a pair of earplugs, and then raked its claws across the blackboard’s surface.

Ford clapped his hands over his ears, concerns about sawdust abandoned, and sprinted for the exit. The other beavers charged after him, frothing at the mouth and wailing in agony from the sound, but he slammed the door behind him, and breathed a sigh of relief that their tiny little beaver hands weren’t quite dextrous enough to maneuver the door handle.

“On to the next… car… then,” he panted as he crossed the next bridge. “Let’s see how much more of this… my eardrums can take…”

***

One pizzeria car, one dance battle car (which Ford was initially skeptical about, but ended up absolutely rocking), and one literal train murder mystery car later, Ford found himself exploring an underground cavern.

“Please refrain from touching the stalactites and stalagmites,” the bat tour guide cheerily informed him, “as the oils from your greasy human skin can damage them. But you’ll see that we’re approaching a small lake, and you will need to use the natural rock formations as stepping stones at that point, unless you want to go for a swim — which I wouldn’t recommend, since the water is only about fifty-five degrees Fahrenheit.”

“Do you get a lot of visitors here?” Ford asked it. “And do any of them prefer actually reasonable temperature systems, like Celsius?”

“Maybe one visitor a week, if I’m lucky,” the bat replied. “The train has plenty of passengers, but also a lot of other attractions besides this humble cave, so they’re spread fairly thin.”

Ford gestured to the number on his hand. “Do all the passengers have numbers like these?”

“Sure do. Not always the same number, though.”

“Do you know what it means?”

“Not a clue. I can tell you all about the geology of this place, though! Lots of famous caves are made of limestone, but this one is actually made of dolomite!”

Crossing the lake wasn’t too difficult, though Ford’s shoes were splashed a few times as he stepped between columns of stone that stood about even with the water level and resembled particularly sturdy lily pads. Even with ice-cold feet, he found that he couldn’t help but smile.

Aside from the beaver car, this train really hadn’t been so bad. He’d much rather spend years learning from supernaturally smart animals than from underpaid professors at Backupsmore — not to mention the breathtaking environments he kept finding himself in, like the crimson forest and this massive cave system. The only thing keeping him from wanting to stay forever was the lack of companionship, with all the train’s inhabitants staying behind in their own cars…

“The door is right up ahead,” the bat chirped in his ear. “Can’t miss it. I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay on the train!”

“Do you know how I get off the train?” Ford asked.

“Well, when you reach your destination, of course! Just don’t ask me what yours is, because I don’t know either.”

“Okay. Thanks for the cave facts, this was fun.”

“Anytime!”

As Ford crossed over to the next car, he happened to glance at his right palm:

163

“Wait, it was 166 before! When did it change?”

He rushed back to the cave car, and poked his head back inside. “Hey! Uh, Batty? I didn’t catch your name — but anyways, did you see when my number changed? It dropped three whole points!”

The bat fluttered back towards him. “Hmm. It was definitely 166 back on the other side of the lake. I’m not sure beyond that.”

“Well, I guess that’s better than nothing. Thanks again.”

Ford sighed, as he began walking towards the next car for the second time. “Why wasn’t I paying more attention? That could’ve been a vital clue, but now I only have a vague time interval to go off of…”

He kept rambling to himself as he opened the next door and entered, hardly even paying attention to the contents of the new car. “Was it a vocal trigger? A physical trigger? Either of those I could’ve tested and tried to replicate, if only I was actually recording what I was doing when —”

“No fucking way,” he heard a familiar voice mutter.

Halfway across the car, leaning up against a jagged cliff face, was Stanley.

***

(Endnotes:

Thanks for reading, feedback/reblogs are appreciated as always! The cave car Ford visits is highly inspired by Onondaga Cave in Missouri - look up that cave's "Lily Pad Room," and you'll get a good idea of how Ford crossed that lake.

I have a pretty detailed outline for the remaining chapters, so ideally there won't be any long gaps between updates. It's just a matter of how often I have the time available to transform outline into prose.)

[emma-poole]

Maryanne.

You’re in my prayers every morning, she tells me on the sidewalk, casually slipping my 65 pound pitbull, Robin, a treat from her fanny pack. She tells me this every time we cross paths, which, if I am lucky, is a weekly occurrence. Maryanne should really have an ‘outfit of the day’ column in the New York Times. She is easily spotted a block away, not only by my dog’s nose, but in her perfectly coordinated clothing choices; bright red rain boots, wide-brimmed red hat, cherry earrings, and the color red lipstick that reminds me of my grandmother, who resembled Marilyn Monroe, smelled like old perfume, and never left the house without it.

Sometimes I wish I could shrink Maryanne to barbie-doll size and carry her around in my pocket. Maryanne never shames Robin for her plump figure. Her very spirit elicits joy- on evening walks in the neighborhood, when my mind jumps fifty years into the future, I think, when I grow older, I’d like to be like Maryanne.

Tell me about your outfits, I say one day, on the corner of Pinehurst and 184th. She recounts her days as a nurse in World War II, how although she loved her work, she was required to wear white every day. Now, I can wear whatever I want! She looks up at me with watery blue eyes lined in brown pencil, tiny, delicate hands roped in purple vein and beautiful. I have the overwhelming desire to scoop her into a hug.

Maryanne is a widow. She saves animals around the neighborhood and always carries treats in her purse. We commiserate about the state of the world, how humans don’t deserve dogs, and sometimes, my dating life. I often imagine her as the girl she used to be, fixed up in nursing whites, young and in love. And yet, how grateful I am to experience her in this phase of her life, just barely five feet tall, aged only by a number but towering in presence and charm.

I would like to think the universe created Maryanne as a reminder of the magic that exists here on earth. There is something about her aura- otherworldly, fairy-esque, that makes my breath catch in my throat each time I see her. As if the trees she passes suddenly begin to sway. And the light the sky emits at once becomes softer.

24 Hour Deli.

I don’t care about cohesion. Aesthetic is a non-issue. I want my salads big and overflowing, a picasso of flavor, texture, and crunch. Some (most) days I request a side of blue cheese dressing to use as dip for the potato chips I will inevitably buy no matter how many times I tell myself you don’t need them. I leave the store, plastic bag in hand, excitement stirring at the enjoyment to come- quiet room, a cornucopia of television options, peace to consume my masterpiece as if I am animal who has been deprived of food for months.

The 24 Hour Deli— I don’t know why I call it that- it’s actually called the Gourmet Deli, is approximately a one-minute walk from my apartment. Its marquee, bright, blocky and red, thrives with activity at all hours of the day. The 24 Hour Deli recently got a makeover. It now has more than five fancy gelato flavors and the miniature containers of cabot sour cream I like to destroy in one sitting. On the outside of the door, there is a clear no pets allowed sign. Yet magically, each time I walk into the deli with Robin, who suffers from separation anxiety, the cashier says nothing. Robin is no more than a sweet-demeanored curvy burrito, but being a pitbull, people tend to act strange at the sight of her.

The staff at the deli understand us. They let Robin sniff the endless line of Little Debbie snack cakes, and even sometimes offer their hand for a lick. Robin is overjoyed anytime she is allowed to enter an establishment, and this small gesture does not go unnoticed. The man who makes my salads sees me. He doesn’t laugh when he tosses in the eighteenth vegetable choice, rather tilts his head to one side and softly, almost lovingly, asks what else miss? I am always in awe watching him mix the ingredients together and making the whole ordeal fit perfectly under the flat plastic lid.

The 24 Hour Deli, like most local New York City bodegas, is more than just a deli. It is a meeting spot for conversation, gossip and respite from the street. It contains everything from beef jerky to pregnancy tests, the latter which I have sheepishly purchased among familiar faces that gave me kind smiles and a paper bag to carry it out in. It is run by a family whose hospitality has held me for the seven years I’ve lived in this gem of a neighborhood, quirky but inviting, not without its rough history and continued adoration of pungent marijuana and backwoods blunt wrappers, the latter which I have had my fair share of romantic neighborhood partners purchase before heading to my room on balmy summer evenings, knowing they’d be promised candlelight and a soft body.

Perhaps I will go to the deli soon to buy fresh flowers for my bathroom. They are not the best quality, but I like the way they look perched in my windowsill, trying mightily to stay alive.

The ladies at the Nail salon.

I have a paper card in my wallet that keeps track of the number of times I get my nails done. It is a rewards card, promising half off after I have completed six sessions. Over the last seven years, I am probably on my tenth card. The ladies at Diamond Nails know me by name. They compliment my hair, smile when they see me walking Robin, and massage my shoulders generously. They are motherly and kind, always assuring me of my nail polish color choice and warmly welcoming me into their establishment for however long I choose to stay.

I often get my nails done on days I feel sad. The budding of a new relationship gone awry, boredom at the state of things, the staggering injustice of healthcare in this country. Maybe I will get a manicure! Suddenly I am walking out the door, a quick left, the smell of acetone.

The ladies are drinking coffee. I smell takeout in the back room. I grab a handful of People magazines, propping myself in the oversized cushy chair and its complementary foot basin that will transform my toes into appealing seashells. Two women walk in- one is disabled and blind; her aid walks beside her. I take in this odd pair and am immediately brought back to my childhood, accompanying my dad to the house for the deaf he briefly worked at. My memories are mini movie reels- Sheri, a redhead, walking on the treadmill, calling my father Toli instead of Tony, over and over. My six-year old eyes, wide and observant, taught not to judge but understand. The blind woman chooses hot pink for her nails. The ladies tell her it is a lovely choice.

One day, while waiting for my nails to dry, my scalp tingles as hands weave in and out of my hair loops. I think perhaps I am receiving an extended shoulder massage, and close my eyes. The fingers move swiftly, repeating patterns and directions. I realize my hair is being braided, unsure as to why or if I should interject. I decide to let it happen. When she is finished, she proudly holds up a mirror so I can see the back. Beautiful! I reply. I laugh on my way out the door- amused that I came in for a manicure and left with a french braid. One month later, it happens again. I accept that it’s a package deal, and look forward to the next time.

I don’t know the lives of the ladies beyond the four walls of the salon, but I would like to imagine that they are filled with loving families, and warm homes that nurture them after a long day’s work. Their work is so giving, and far underappreciated. Having one’s nails done, similarly to getting a haircut or sitting at a bar nursing a cocktail, is never just about the monetary exchange. It is therapy. And the ladies, with their strong hands and tender demeanors, are my therapists.

Do yourself a favor and go to Diamond Nails. Make sure to tip generously.

An Ode to Morning Coffee.

If I collected all of the money I spend each day on neighborhood coffee, I’d have a jar amassing thousands of dollars by now. This is both depressing and impressive; on one hand, I’ve procured an awfully expensive habit. On the other, I honor my commitment to ritual. It all began when I adopted Robin. Robin wakes up each morning around eight am. It takes me approximately thirty minutes to make the bed, shower, get dressed, throw together some hair and makeup, and toss my keys in the mini purse I carry, along with plenty of poop bags and of course, coffee money.

Hudson Heights is lucky to have a rich coffee culture. There are multiple cups of coffee on each street corner, from the rudimentary but delicious cafe Bustelo at the bodega (low on ambiance, strong on flavor) to the cozy hole-in-the-wall, beloved Cafe Bunni. Nestled on the corner of 187 and Pinehurst, Bunni is a locally owned Ethiopian dream, serving everything from feta scones to frothy oat milk lattes. Tactically, it is the place I choose most often, mostly because Robin can rest her loins on the bench outside while watching my every move once I am in line to order.

Aesthetically pleasing bags of coffee beans line the cafe walls. Baked goods are displayed at the register, flirting with their puffed edges and swollen buttery insides. A long, communal wooden table is the main source of seating in this intimate space, as well as a window-seat bench. Robin, my oversized croissant, is perfectly visible on the other side of the glass. The whites of her eyes loom above seated coffee drinkers.

Cafe Bunni is approximately two hundred steps from the apartment of the first guy I dated when I moved to this neighborhood. He lives with his mother and drives an obnoxiously yellow pick-up truck. He asked me out while I was carrying laundry home. I should have known better. I was twenty-five and easily wooed by street flattery. He was twenty-one and desperate for attention. Bunni is a wonderful place to duck into when you spot ex boyfriends you’d rather not interact with. It is large enough to blend you into other bodies, and small enough that the whole event is not a big to-do. On many a summer morning, my eyes still waking to the day’s light, I have sought out anonymity in a paper coffee cup.

Perhaps my favorite fixture of Bunni is the way it inhabits the neighborhood. Between these walls, customers feel the understated, off-beat energy of the Hudson Heights residents. It is a tiny artist’s colony smack in the middle of a spa and a chinese restaurant. A place for those of us with less traditional jobs to post up, writing our dreams down in journals, people watching to feel less alone. We can sit there for hours, seen and supported by the comings and goings of both the patrons who fill the space and the baristas who are its undercurrent.

It’s difficult for me to pass Bunni without purchasing something. Sometimes I buy iced coffee just to have a cup in my hand while walking down the sidewalk. Other days, I never make it in, choosing to sit on the bench outside while watching the bustle of foot traffic go by. I once met a lady there who collects and sells crystals. She seemed a bit lonely, and happy to talk to anyone who’d listen. I complimented her necklace. We shared stories of moving to this neighborhood, coffees in hand, until Robin licked my ankle, alerting me it was time to go home.

Fort Tryon Park.

Imagine a maze. Giant and sprawling with lush greenery, gothic stone arches and secret roundabouts. Large enough to get lost in, small enough to find your way out.

Things I have done in Fort Tryon Park:

Cry. Clean up poop. Sing. Pick grass from the lawn while staring at the Hudson River. Smell flowers. Unintentionally photobomb a photoshoot. Meditate. Light sage. Sunbathe. Witness a quinceanera. Smoke weed. Talk to strangers. Watch a man masturbate behind a tree. Breathe deeply. Drink coffee. Pet dogs. Think about my life. Sit. Wait. Walk.

When I describe Fort Tryon Park to, say, a downtown person, I feel suddenly blessed, as though I am the keeper of a privileged secret that only a part of this city knows. Fort Tryon doesn’t belong to me, but it feels like it does. It is where my neighborhood ends, and Narnia begins.

On a good day, the park is about a fifteen minute walk North from my apartment. Each time we visit, I coerce my dog into posing for pictures. In the Fall, our earth-toned scarves blend in with the foliage; blankets of copper leaves illuminate a walking path, boots deliciously crunching with each step. In the summer, walks last up to two hours, trudging slowly from humidity and necessary water breaks. The park is both home, and home away from home. It receives me however I choose to show up. Nothing makes me feel more like a local than giving a visitor directions to the park, or its love child, the Cloisters. A simple head nod or wave in the right direction sends them on their way. I have paid forward Hudson Height’s most prized possession. My good deed for the day is done.

Years back, during one of my first visits to the park, I met a beautiful young woman roaming the grass with her giant snow angel, Zoe, and miniature tan taco, Zeta. Zaza, the owner of the eccentric dog duo and I became fast friends. We continued to meet for iced coffee and park walks. We watched my dog kill a gopher, and cried with hands held firmly as we heard it take its last breath. Meeting this Z trio changed my life; in the coming years, I would no longer feel like a mere resident of the neighborhood, but a fixture, with beautiful, lifelong friendships and last minute dinner dates to Refried Beans for oversized burritos and chips and salsa.

I am convinced the juju that permeates Fort Tryon is emboldened by the people who inhabit it each day. Much like the park itself, we span an array of colors and history, stories that give us character and scars to prove that although our lives haven’t been easy, we show up each day to smell fresh air and tilt our heads back to the sun. Thank you, Fort Tryon, for being my heartbeat at the tip of Manhattan.

The Lookout on Chittenden.

You know in the movies, when the grieving family member goes into the hospital chapel to pray by themselves? The lookout on Chittenden Avenue is Hudson Heights’ very own outdoor church, where on any given day, individuals can be spotted looking out the river’s horizon, asking for guidance from whatever higher power they believe in.

At least that is what I do. Usually at sunset, and most always, with Robin. Picking her up requires a deep squat and a tight grip around the underbelly. However, once I have it, we perch like bobbing lily pads in the ocean, peering out at New Jersey, waiting for a gust of wind or the smell of someone’s fried chicken to waft toward us.

The lookout is the kind of friend who doesn’t require every day interaction, but will always show up when you need them. Tucked away beneath a small hill, its presence is found rather than known, adding to its charm. Sometimes I imagine the narrative of the people who perch there alongside me- who is breaking up with who, who misses their mother, who also talks to the sky. Do they seek refuge here the way I do? At times not knowing what is being sought out but pulled to arrive anyway?

Or the residential voyeurs of the block, who put up fliers warning against drugs and littering, Chittenden’s silent army. My heart goes out to them. They know the real estate they live upon is neighborhood currency; they are only trying to preserve it.

I recall a visit to the lookout after a particularly painful heartbreak. The setting sun was so beautiful, it hurt. I couldn’t fathom how the world continued on as mine closed in on me. I knew in that moment that I would be ok, as I have always known, deep in my bones, that my small world spins within something much greater than me. It’s the staggering irony of life, that beauty can be found anywhere, even in the midst of agonizing pain. Nature has always known better than us. Embrace change, she whispers, and you will experience awe each day. It’s hard to walk yourself home with a broken heart. But then the sun sets. The skyline sparkles beneath a black sky. I smell the changing of seasons as the breeze hits the trees, releasing a single leaf on the ground beneath me.

Charles.

Charles has short white hair, olive skin, and piercing blue eyes. He is long-limbed and svelte, appearing almost fragile. Charles wears neutral colors and has long, elegant hands. He likes to eat dinner solo at the neighborhood restaurants, and always says hello to my dog.

I wonder often about Charles’s backstory. I have never asked, though I am confident if I did, he would share freely. There is a sadness in his demeanor that makes me want to reach my hands inside his chest and untwist the hurt. It is always the sad people who are kind, I’ve noticed. I have no idea if Charles is sad or not. Maybe melancholy is a better word. Or maybe it’s the way the deep lines around his eyes make him look like an etched painting, and the tiny blue half moons beneath them reflect longing, or wisdom.

I must have passed Charles at least ten times on the street before asking him his name. Now, I can’t stop using it. Hi Charles, I smile, walking down the giant stairs on 181st. He is on a bench with coffee, reading a newspaper. How’s it going, Charles? At 181 Cabrini, a spread of charcuterie and cheeses half eaten at his table. Robin sits down on his large feet. He pats her head. Oh, hi Charles! At the park, outside the laundromat, on my way to work.

I wonder how long he has lived here, what he does all day, if he has some large sum of money he lives on that pays for all his dinners out. I wonder if he is happy dining alone, savors it ritualistically, as I do my morning cup of coffee or the heady aroma of fresh cut flowers. Or if he longs for a partner, relying on the immersion of himself in the neighborhood as a way to feel more connected and less alone.

Of course, I could ask him. I think he would probably be flattered to know I’m thinking this much about the intricacies of his life. And yet. The mystique of not knowing somehow compels me. I have always imagined the inner lives of strangers; and though I am a truth seeker in nearly all aspects of my life, I am not sure I need to know the answers to the stories my brain creates. It’s like...foreplay. Or the titillating anticipation of an event nearly being better than the event itself. The hot sting of desire felt on the lips before the kiss. Must we spill over all our secrets? Or is the pleasure of them contained in the withholding?

The last time I saw Charles, he was sitting alongside a homeless man with pock-marked skin and gentle eyes. Another familiar face. They appeared to be friends. I smiled at the man, and said hello to Charles. Perhaps I will work up the courage someday to ask what brought him to this city. For now, I am grateful he is here, embedded into the scenery I call home.

Bennett Park.

Fun Fact- you’re standing on the highest natural point of elevation in New York City, I tell my soon-to-be boyfriend at the time. He is spending the weekend with me. It is our first time meeting each other in person. Ha.

I have probably spent more time in Bennett Park than any other place in Hudson Heights. When I first moved to the area, it was an all day stomping ground for the boys who perched on stoops and asked if I was from the heights. I’d walk Robin at midnight, letting her run laps in the grass while they rolled fresh blunts and skateboarded badly. I didn’t often take part, but I loved the camaraderie of these gatherings, how the park always felt like it belonged to someone, and in turn, that I belonged to it.

Bennett Park turns into a carnival on weekends; kids appear from every direction, dogs take refuge under shaded trees, the ice cream truck’s melody echoes in our brains- da da da da da da dum dum dum DUM dum dum. Orthodox Jewish women sit in clusters on the grass, dressed in long skirts and soft hats. I wonder if they know I am one of them, that despite my tattoos and nontraditional dress, I, too, can chant Hebrew prayers in my sleep, and recognize Saturday as their Sabbath. That I see a part of them in a part of me, though I will always wonder if they are happy, or have dreams bigger than motherhood, or spend moments in solitude wondering of a different life. The air smells of weed and cut grass. Children squeal on the swings. Someone plays hip hop out of a loud speaker while a parent bandaids a scraped knee. We coexist in our separate corners, together.

That boyfriend never visited my neighborhood again, though he did love the park and my attempt at impressing him with trivia. We made out on the grass under a moonlit sky, the boys of years past watching in the background, their silhouettes only vaguely familiar now. I was in love with the idea of him more than the individual I never truly had the chance to get to know, except through distance, and time zones, and continents. The agony of physical separate-ness gnawed at me; I fell asleep for an entire year existing on memories of a savored few nights together and future projections of what our life could be.

And so Bennett Park became my steadfast companion to get through each day. Every morning, with a cup of coffee and Robin at my feet, I walked aimlessly around its perimeter, noticing what was familiar- Bench. Tree. Water fountain. Rock. Lending Library. The grass where Robin likes to roll.

Ritualistic habits, I have learned, are a form of meditation. You can mend a broken heart by entering the same place each day while watching your perception of it slowly change. One day, almost magically, the flowers appear more potent, the sun, brighter, and your breath, which has been lodged somewhere between grief and hope, escapes into a singular, joyous exhale.

[shirtlesssammy]

4x07: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

We’ve already recapped the closest episode to a Thanksgiving episode Supernatural has so we thought we’d pick another holiday episode this week. Since Cas and Sam’s friendship is getting a little more screen time this season, we thought we’d go back to the beginning and recap the episode where they meet. Yay!

Then:

This badass graced our screens for the first time.

Now:

Ah, Halloween. A young mother comes home loaded down with a literal bucket of candy. Her husband wants to taste test for quality control, but she shoos him away. She then heads upstairs to give their baby a bath --the husband coming in a minute. First, he needs to sneak in a few pieces of candy!

After eating a piece, the husband starts to gag, and finds a razor lodged in his mouth. He starts coughing up blood and razors and dies on the kitchen floor just in time for his wife and baby to find him.

One Day Before Halloween

Agents Sam and Dean are interviewing, Mrs. Wallace, the victim’s wife. Dean finds a hexbag. Sam asks about enemies her husband might have had.

Back at their hotel, Sam is researching the contents of the hexbag. Dean is scarfing down candy (razors or not, I agree with your plan, Dean!). Neither brother can find a reason for Luke Wallace’s death.

At a Halloween party (no booze=lame), Jenny and Tracy, who are clearly rivaling for one dude’s attention (NOT WORTH IT), arrive to assess the lameness. Tracy decides to liven the festivities up by bobbing for apples. Jenny follows, only she gets stuck under the water while it starts to boil and she dies a horrible burning death that I can’t imagine.

Later, Sam and Dean arrive at the crime scene. Dean is gross. Sam finds a hexbag.

While researching the second death, Sam discovers that this might be part of a spell. “Three blood sacrifices over three days, the last before midnight on the final day of the final harvest.” This spell is summoning a demon. Samhain to be exact. (My headcanon is that they mispronounce Samhain because they’re in a completely different universe than ours.) This ritual can only take place once every 600 years. This year just happens to be that year. Of Course! When Samhain rises, every evil and bad thing Sam and Dean fight will rise with him.

On a stakeout, Dean continues to eat his Hell stress away.

While he’s complaining to Sam on the phone, he watches Tracy walk up to the Wallace house. Son of a bitch.

This is A Look:

Sam finds some dirt on Tracy. She’s been suspended from school in the past for an altercation with a teacher. They head to the school.

In the art room, Dean sees horrific masks that clearly remind him of Hell. “Bring back memories?” Sam asks. OUCH. Sam was just talking about high school though (of which Dean didn’t really get to experience and didn’t finish.) Don, the art teacher, comes in and the brothers ask about their altercation. “I was only trying to rap with her about her work.” Far out, man. But really, it seems that Tracy’s art was getting a bit too violent for school appropriate work. Cryptic symbols and gory drawings. The brothers wonder where Tracy is now, and Don reveals that she lives in an apartment.

Later, the boys reconvene at their motel. Tracy is AWOL. A little trick or treater is eager for candy.

Dean ate it all. Then he fat shames the poor kid. The kid has a death stare to end all death stares so I think he’s winning. (Natasha: #TeamKidAstronaut)

Sam forges ahead of Dean and finds an intruder in their room.

“Who are you?!”

“Sam! Sam, wait! It’s Castiel.”

(I just love that both Sam and Mary got to meet Cas the same way --with guns drawn and Dean rushing over to stop them.)

There’s Bunny Colvin another angel there as well, but Dean doesn’t know him.

Sam is SUCH A CUTE BEAN meeting Cas. He’s so flustered and excited. And Cas just poops all over his excitement.

He calls him the boy with the demon blood and congratulates him on stopping his “extracurricular activities.” He then asks Dean if they’ve stopped the rising of Samhain. They haven’t. And now the witch is wise to them. Cas found a hexbag in their room.

AAGGHH, Cas is foreign and formal and he doesn’t even look at Dean (haha, they’ll have plenty of time to stare and stare at each other in the next scene.) Cas informs the brothers that the rising of Samhain will break one of the 66 seals. It must be stopped.

For Posterity:

Uriel, the other angel, is a specialist and he’s here to destroy the town. Dean is incredulous. They can’t destroy this town. Cas is thinking big picture though --destroy the town, save humanity.

Dean’s got to stare think on that.

Sam is incredulous too. “No, you can’t do this, you’re angels, I mean aren’t you supposed to – You’re supposed to show mercy.” Lol, Sam, welcome to the reality of angels on Supernatural. It is a bit crushing to watch Sam’s faith get burnt a bit here. Dean then pulls out the Free Will big guns and asks Cas, “You’ve never questioned a crap order, huh? What are you both, just a couple of hammers?” Cas bites back with a rhetorical question about John Winchester. Dean’s digging his heels in though. If they’re going to destroy this town, they’re going to destroy Sam and Dean along with it.

Cas acquiesces.

Dean and Sam emerge to find Baby egged. BABY. Heads will roll for this, I swear to god. (Uh, #TeamKidAstronaut?)

In the car, Sam contemplates the hex bag and confronts his disappointment with the righteously dickish reality of angels. Dean urges Sam to not abandon his faith. (Dean Bean!) Sam gently absorbs this moment of brotherly insight and then realizes that the charred bone in the hex bag was cooked by an industrial heat source. Moment. Over.

At the school's art room they narrow the bone char down to the kiln and find a heavily locked drawer in the teacher's desk. In the drawer they find a bowl of children's bones. Blegh.

Meanwhile, Castiel and Uriel hang out in a park, Uriel casually dropping insults to humanity so fast it's like he's on an I HATE HUMANS game show.

Cas admonishes Uriel for maligning God's favored creations and counsels him to settle down and wait to see what happens with Dean and Sam. Uriel proposes yoinking the Winchesters elsewhere before blowing the town straight to Hell, but Cas tells him they need to follow their “true orders,” whatever those are.

On Halloween night, costumed children walk past creepy garden displays while within one very normal looking house, the girl from earlier is held captive in the basement of the witch/teacher's house. He creepily draws his knife down her breast (ew), raising his arm for the killing blow (jerk), when his chest gets riddled with holes. It's the Winchesters! Yay! They save the totally innocent girl, who backs away and begins to...sneer at her dead witch brother on the floor. Before the Winchesters can kill her she power blasts them across the room and presumably holds onto their guts (or their balls?) while she monologues.

While she works a spell to bring Samhain into the world, Sam smears blood over his face and that of his brother's. Is it the latest facial trend? Time will tell. The floor splits open and black demon fog emerges. It gives Sam and Dean the miss and then swoops into Don’s dead body.

“My love,” the witch greets Samhain with a kiss (me: gags at the incestual overtones). He greets her with, “You've aged.” EXCUSE ME, MOTHERFUCKER?

Samhain clearly isn’t one for loving reunions because he immediately snaps her neck and surveys his surroundings. It's time to PAR-TAY. He stares at Dean and Sam, who lie still on the floor, and then shambles past them. After he leaves, Dean asks Sam about the blood. It turns out, Sam gave them both a nice blood mask because masks are what people used to use to hide from Samhain. Nice work, Sam! As an added bonus, that blood mask should also keep away the bunnies. (You're welcome, Dean?) Samhain stumbles through town, past unsuspecting costumed children. Dean and Sam race for the cemetery to head him off.

Sam proposes whipping out his super magic psychic mojo to fight Samhain. Dean begs him to not use his power, handing off Ruby's knife instead.

At the crypt, the not-mourning-their-friend-at-all teens throw their Halloween party when they hear a noise. It's definitely not the cops, unless the cops are six feet tall, undead, and covered in blood. Samhain locks the confused kids into the vault and walks away again without a word. Oooookay. And then behind them, the vaults begin to rattle. The dead are coming out. Sort of. They pull kids into the vaults like sand worms and shoot out viscera, blood canon-style. Dean finds them, shoots out the lock, and joins the party - I mean, saves the kids.

It’s zombie dance off time, baby.

Sam heads off to fight Samhain, who tries and fails to power blast Sam.

They engage in fisticuffs, a demon’s favorite way to hold an ultimate battle. Sam uses his powers to suck the demon essence from Samhain and send him back to Hell, but Samhain's strong. He advances, step by step. It's slow enough that Dean has time to head upstairs and witness his brother mind-whammy the demon straight back to Hell. Err....awkward.

Samhain filters back down to Hell, leaving the Winchesters to shoot sad puppy eyes at each other instead.

The next day, they pack up and get ready to leave. Uriel zaps in to rub salt in the wound, and tells Sam that he was told not to use his powers. Sam tells Uriel that his powers saved the town, thank you very much. Uriel uses his wings to flap about 4 feet across the room so that he lands right in front of Sam's face. DRAMA LLAMA ALERT. Uriel threatens to annihilate Sam as soon as Heaven doesn't need him anymore. “As for your brother,” Uriel advises Sam, he should “climb off that high horse of his.” Sam should ask Dean about what he remembers from Hell. (Us, in a chorus: we wish we couldn't feel a damn thing.)

At the same playground where Cas and Uriel observed humanity, Dean sits contemplatively on the park bench.

Cas appears on the other bench and Dean gives him a less-than-warm welcome. “You're here for the I told you so.” Nope. In fact, Cas tells Dean that their true orders weren't to stop the summoning of Samhain. Instead, their orders were to do whatever Dean and Sam told them to do.

“It was a test to see how you might perform under battlefield conditions.” Dean loves this revelation (not). He defiantly tells Cas that he saved the town – including the kids playing in front of them. And that's enough for him.

Cas reveals that he was praying for Dean and Sam to save the town. “These people – they're all my father's creations. They're works of art.” With the Samhain seal broken, they're one step closer to Hell for everyone on Earth and Cas and Dean share a knowing moment about the reality of Hell's horrors. “Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul?” Cas asks. “I'm not a...hammer, as you say. I have questions. I have doubts. I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore.” He tells Dean the coming months will continue to test him. It's clear they'll test Cas as well. Cas flaps out.

What in the Sam-Quotes is this?

It’s Halloween, man.

Those little dudes are scary. Small hands.

Yeah, well, if you were a six-hundred-year-old hag and you could pick any costume to come back in, wouldn't you go for a hot cheerleader? I would, hmm…

For us, every day is Halloween.

You're angels! You're supposed to show mercy.

There's nothing more dangerous than some a-hole who thinks he's on a holy mission.

Babe Ruth's a dick but baseball's still a beautiful game.

Zombie ghost orgy, huh? Well, that's it. I'm torching everybody.

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[134340am]

Hi Yuna! 🏓

I’m so glad your bunny’s procedure went well! Worrying about loved ones is so scary & just exhausting, so I’m happy to hear that she’s doing better! I saw the picture of her & she’s so adorable & pretty <3. Also omg the drooling 🥺! Your bunny & my dog are matching with their shaved bellies, so cute! She was on antibiotics & painkillers for a solid two weeks after her surgery but she’s back to her usual maddening self 👅. Also I can 100% understand why you find dogs intimidating but most doggo hearts are easily gained with lots of treats (although I think that’s a universal pet thing heh).

Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Do you have any fun plans or things you’re looking forward to ☀️? Sending lots of love & rest to you & bunny <3

also I kinda dig the 🏓, don’t think I’ve ever used this emoji before hehe

hello wonderful 🏓 anon! (sorry for the late reply ><)

change of plans — the bun will be coming home tonight instead (vet says her poop is still soft n sticky) but!!! the moment she gets home i’ll tell her that my beloved 🏓 anon thinks she’s adorable and pretty <3 and i’ll give her many many head pats to make up for lost time hehe

bun bun 🤝 ur pupper

cold bellies

i’m so glad your dog is alright now too 🥺 two weeks is a long time and i hope it wasn’t too much of a struggle getting her to finish all her medication! + i’d love to visit a dog cafe someday to pet all the dogs and give them many treats but i need to muster up my courage first… yuna & doggos… an awkward combo we’d just be there like 🧍🏻‍♀️🐕🧍🏻‍♀️🐕 LOL

hmmm about this weekend — i’m meeting an old friend for breakfast tomorrow, and i’ll be finishing up my 100 frens celebration requests :-) apart from that i plan on playing some animal crossing to destress, and i’ll do a big clean of my yucky room that i’ve neglected this week out of stress 😖 and of course, i’ll be spending lots of time with the bun!

thank you for asking babe, how about you? any cool things coming up that you’re looking forward to as well? 😎😎😎

[randomfuturetone]

3 - Twilight of the gods

Poppin is now abandoned in time. She slowly starts to despair.

"What can I do? I have literally nowhere to go.” She thought, then after a few minutes, she came to a conclusion: there is only only one person who can possibly help herself from this timeline. She ran through the city, and finally she sees her cross shining from the distance. She got closer and closer, but... 

- "Hey hey, listen carefully, something terrible has happened, and only you can help me.” Poppin said.

- "Heyyy, if ain't my twin, Trad Poop. How are you big dumba-" 

- "Nah bruh you gotta be kidding." Poppin interrupted.

It is Yumeko, qba.diva's main rep mod.

- "I just recently said goodbye to you after taking those screenshots for the collab, why are you..." Yumeko sees another Poppin in the distance. She continues "... I guess something about time happened."

- "How do you know?"  Poppin asks.

Yumeko takes out a clock out of her pocket.

- "Like every Rin rep mod, I'm a time master, just like you."

Both hid in the city, then Poppin tries to explain everything.

- "Are you telling me that we fought a big rep mod war somewhere in the future? And you had a giant Miku robot?? Heyyyyy! That’s awesome!"

- "Yes it is, but it won't happen if I stay here.”

- "So this girl, uh, who is basically you-“

- "Bakimer.”

- “Blasphemer, why would she take the ball?"

- "I have no idea..in fact this doesn't even affect her, she said this was not her world."

- "But... I don't understand, you already defeated this 'voice' thing. I don't think she is evil."

- "She also mentioned that no one suffers in this timeline."

- "...Do you suffer in your timeline, Poppin?"

Poppin took a look at the floor, and had tons of flashbacks, including the night under the full moon with Bunny’s sleeping body in her hands.

- "Yes... we all do... we all have so many problems I can't even count them.” Poppin took a deep breath "maybe... just maybe... it’s better this way."

- "Are you sure of that? Isn't there something in the future you would like to see again?"

- "Maybe... but... on second thought, it is really better this way. Bunny will not suffer anymore, she is my best friend, I would do anything to make her happy.”

- "According to what you told me, she is happy already." 

- " Yes, but..." Poppin starts to sob. "IT'S JUST TOO MUCH, SHE HAS TO GO THROUGH A LOT, I HAVE TO GO THROUGH A LOT, AND NATASSHA TOO!” Poppin started to cry uncontrollably.

Yumeko took Poppin, furiously, and slaps her in the face.

- "STOP IT, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.”

Poppin was shocked, with one of her cheks red.

- "YOU ARE TRAD POPPIN, YOU ARE A TIME MASTER, SO WHAT IF THERE'S SUFFERING IN THE WAY? THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU APPRECIATE HAPPINESS, THAT'S HOW LIFE ITSELF WORKS.”

Poppin remembers Bunny and Chuchu finally having a good relationship, Natassha being calm and happy with Shiteyanyo, and finally, Flurry giving her a tight hug. Poppin let a tear fall.

- "Yes." She said, cleaning the tears off of her face. "I have too much to lose.”

- "You are not going to lose anything, we will do this together."

- "Yes, Poppin and goat Poppin working on the case!"

- "Yes... wait, what was that?"

- "Actually,I haven't noticed these horns until this very moment, where is the cowlick? Please don't tell me you never had a cowlick and you are Yumeko from another universe because I'm gonna lose it.”

- "Oh no, not even close, actually its a funny story. Well, um…" 

The bells on the city rings. It’s 12 PM.

- "Oh yeah, you had to be there then..." Yumeko continues, the bells rings again and again, 12 times.

- "That's... the deepest reason I've ever heard to change an accessory.” Poppin said.

- "Yes I know. Well, let's make a plan to search for this Becker girl."

- "Bakimer.”

- "Yes that's what I said, Baphomet.”

- "Cool, now what?"

- "There must be a point in time where she traveled, but there's tons of possibilities.”

- "I think she wanted to start again... so it must be the past.”

- "Are you thinking the same thing as me?"

- "Yes... where it all began... Natassha's birth.”

[speedygal]

I think Lakota's time on this planet is coming to a close.

The old keeshond who is 100+ years old in dog years.

I can't go to the vet with my grandparents because I will smile during the procedure and I would creep out veterinarian. It's going to be difficult to get used to going to the back room and expecting to see her but she is not there. Going to the back door to check up on her and she is not there. Looking at those areas and thinking I am seeing her briefly for a moment there, oh my god that is going to be so hard. Though seeing her on the back porch when she is not there and instead in the back room then the image vanishes has happened to me often. It's like a glitch in the matrix showing me a timeline/parallel universe where she is young and healthy waiting for treats sitting on the front porch. Oh my god, the feels. I'm going to miss her. She can't keep her pee in anymore with the help of pills and her poop but when she does, she gives enough forewarning that she is going to go with little hints. Head turned away from the inside of the kennel that she isn't done yet and barking in her kennel insistently BECAUSE SHE IS NOT DONE YET OUT THERE. Unable to go into the kennel because it stinks. Wow, that hurts. She won't be in pain, unable to see, miserable, trembling, or be unable to control her body where she is going.

Don’t worry, I got my tears out writing this short thing.

The fond memories I have  with her in her youth are throwing treats into the distance.

Lakota running after the treats even through the snow then  gobbling them up. Lakota barking at me as I came home from school for a treat while wagging her curled tail. Lakota resting beside my feet curled up in a ball. Lakota and Rowdy on the dock together looking out around the scenery. Lakota barking on the pontoon as it went down the lake in the direction of a another dog. Lakota going over the ledge going down to the dock not once but many times like a little shit. Lakota sniffing out a ground squirrel nest. and leading me to several baby ground squirrels. Lakota being laid back and lax while bunnies were walking around the scenery. Lakota laid in her nest in a ball. Lakota laid in the grass enjoying the wind and outback. Lakota growling at a injured racoon who was growing back at her. Lakota’s dark muzzle becoming gray. Lakota enjoying to go on the paddleboat. Lakota meeting several dogs who visited and played with, sometimes. Lakota humping me because I was doing something stupid or something that I can’t remember. Lakota as a little puppy above me snapping at my hands as I balanced her up. Jane and I deciding on names as she speeded up and down the yard. Lakota and Rowdy getting to know each other, Lakota as a puppy, and Rowdy as a older dog.