#burkholder

[viciouslyrobotic]

Seeing people Ik know better falling into the practice of implying masculinity as suffering and the transition to femininity as the only route to healing is so. Ugh.

Like its proto-terf ideology to imply Masculinity as suffering/violent/wrong and Femininity as healing/good/correct. It's the foundation of treating bi identity as traitorous which is covered in Sharon Dale Stone's "Bisexual Women and the "Threat" To Lesbian Space: Or What If All The Lesbians Leave?" That lead to the same transphobia that caused Sandy Stone to lose her job with Olivia Records, that threatened her life, that harmed Nancy Jean Burkholder at the 1991 Michigan's Women's Musical Festival, continues to harm trans women to this day and trans men who are frequently left out or entirely forgotten about in these discussions just like nonbinary people who are forced into a binary.

Like Idk think for two seconds how that implication paints trans mascs because we're choosing the identity that is being described as suffering, freakish and wrong rather than remaining feminine which is described as liberating and good. Its one thing to celebrate femininity and another to re-enforce the very narrative that harms all trans, gnc and nonbinary people.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Choir: ♪ Holy infant So tender and mild ♪

John: Wait, who describes an infant as mild?

Ted: Yeah, I'm more hung up on tender.

John: Yeah, somebody's eating this baby.

Priest: It's important that we remember just why we celebrate Christmas. We observe the holiest of all days to rejoice in the glory of the birth of Jesus Christ, born not from the seed of man but from divine origin. Never before or since have we, God's children, been blessed by such a miracle.

Ted: Excuse me. Yeah, over here. Hi. Ted, local bear. You're talking about a guy who came alive out of nowhere, right?

Priest: Yes.

Ted: Yeah, me.

Priest: I'm sorry?

Ted: I'm just saying, he's not the only one.

Priest: I don't think that's the same thing.

Ted: Well, you said, never before or since. But… You know, this guy.

Priest: The birth of Christ was a heavenly miracle.

Ted: I mean, what do you call this? I mean, I don't see any Pound Puppies or Monchhichis walking around.

Priest: Christ's birth was clearly ordained by God, marked by the star of Bethlehem, a miraculous beacon from the heavens.

John: There was a star there. Ted: There was a star, right?

John: Yeah, no, it was a shooting star.

Ted: I had a star. John: Yeah.

Priest: Jesus had a divine purpose. God sent him to us to spread the word that He loves us.

Ted (recorded voice): "I love you."

Ted: Your move, Friar Tuck.

Priest: I just want to finish the sermon.

Ted: I'm just saying, I might be Jesus. Might. I'm not saying for sure. I'm just saying it's a possibility. I might be Jesus.

Priest: That is incredibly disrespectful.

Ted: Says the guy eating babies.

-

John: OK, we can't read this whole thing.

Ted: Well, if we're gonna figure out if I'm actually Jesus, we at least got to skim it.

John: I have never seen pages so thin.

Ted: I know. It's like Kleenex with boring stories on it.

John: You know, I was thinking. How do we know that Dennis isn't Jesus?

Ted: Johnny, Jesus walked on water, all right? Walked! That means he had feet, not wheels.

John: Yeah, that makes sense.

Ted: Oh, wait, hang on. Stop right there. Look, look, look. Matthew 21:31, "Truly I say to you, the tax collectors and prostitutes go into the kingdom of heaven before you." Look at that. Jesus hangs out with hookers.

John: Yeah, and he says there's hookers in heaven too. He sounds a lot like you.

Ted: Oh, yeah, heaven is probably mostly hookers.

John: Wait, so you're paying for sex in heaven?

Ted: You're not paying them for sex. You're paying them to fly away.

John: Oh. Let's see. "And behold, I come quickly, and my reward is with me to give"…

Ted: What was that first part?

John: "Behold, I come quickly."

Ted: Jesus said that?

John: Yeah.

Ted: Yeah, that's not the kind of thing I'd start with "behold." What else? Well, look, look, look. Right there. Right there. John the apostle. Jesus had an apostle named John.

John: Holy shit. Those were, like, his buddies, right?

Ted: Yeah, yeah, there was Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Johnny, Blitzen, and Larry, Darryl, and Darryl. There's no doubt anymore. I'm the Lord Jesus Christ.

Ted: Holy shit. Does this mean you have, like, powers and stuff?

Ted: Yeah, but I probably got to learn how to use them. Flip to the spells.

John: OK, spells, spells, spells. Ted: Spells, spells, spells.

Ted: Wonder what my alignment is.

John: Chaotic good.

Ted: Ah, yeah, yeah. Good, but, like, you know, I might fuck around a little bit.

John: Yeah.

Ted: Shit, we supposed to have dice?

-

Ted: OK, what do you say we try one of them spells, huh? Water into wine, here we go. "Meka leka hi, meka hiney ho. Meka leka hi, meka chiney ho." All right, try it.

John: Still water.

Ted: Fuck! Oh, you know what? It's 'cause we don't have the wand.

-

Blaire: Shit. I mean, how the fuck am I supposed to share a house with somebody who treats me like I have some fucking disease Guess there's no chance he's gonna apologize.

Ted: You know, if I can offer a bit of Christly wisdom, Blaire? You're smarter than he is, so you might have to go talk to him.

Blaire: Oh, fuck that. I am not extending an olive branch to somebody who's against basic equality.

John: Well, that's the thing, Blaire. I don't think he's really even against anything. Think he just didn't want to look stupid in front of his truck.

Blaire: Listen to yourself!

John: OK, then don't do it for Dad. Do it for Mom. Look, she's really bummed out right now, and it's all just 'cause Christmas is messed up. Look, I know it's gonna suck, but…

Ted: But it's like I say in the Book of Romulans: turn the other cheek. Do unto others. Say it, don't spray it. I'll have what she's having.

Blaire: You're an idiot.

Ted: Oh, what do we say to that, Apostle?

John: Four hell points.

Ted: Four hell points.

Blaire: What the fuck is a hell point?

Ted: It's how I determine which of my children, who I love, will be tortured forever.

Blaire: Oh, God. Ugh, all right, all right, I'll… I'll talk to him.

-

Ted: Well, I Jesus-ed the shit out of that one.

Blaire: You? You didn't do anything.

Ted: Eh, I worked in mysterious ways.

Sarah: How?

Ted: Where there was only one set of footprints, that's where I carried you.

Blaire: You watched 18 hours of TV yesterday. You barely moved.

Ted: When it most appears I'm not Jesus, that's when you need faith.

Sarah: Ted, you do know what happened to Jesus, right?

Ted: Yeah, he gave back the Gobstopper, and they gave him the chocolate factory. I mean, I think that's what happened. I'm reading, like, two books at once.

Sarah: They nailed him to the cross and crucified him for our sins.

Ted: Wait, what?

Susan: It was so nice of him to let them do that for us, wasn't it?

Ted: They killed him?

Sarah: Yeah.

Ted: Oh, shit. Yeah, fuck that. I'm out. Wait, maybe I'm Buddha. Buddha was lazy, right?

[cr1msondawn]

the ted series is actually so fire 🔥

this isn’t what i’ve been posting sorry 😿

[masoncarr2244]

Ted 1x03

[rickchung]

Ted (prod. Seth MacFarlane).

Peacock's prequel series softly reboots the buddy comedy about a living teddy bear and his immature best friend (now a teenager) into basically a live-action cartoon family sitcom, very much in line with Family Guy and MacFarlane's other work. Transplanted to high school in the '90s, the episodic show stretches the gimmick as much as possible to mine silly, nostalgic humour and R-rated gags to the absolute limit while maintaining the usual heart from its characters.

[clarkkantagain]

Ian burkholder

[avnj0gia]

[agentnico]

Ted - Season 1 (2024) review

Look, it’s a live-action Family Guy. Let’s not even sugarcoat that fact.

Plot: It's 1993, and Ted the bear's moment of fame has passed. He's living back home with his best friend, John Bennett, and his family. While Ted may be a lousy influence on John, he's a loyal pal who will go out on a limb for friendship.

The Ted movies are enjoyable if a tad forgettable pieces of comedic crudeness. Also they haven’t aged the best, so I was quite apprehensive when I heard that they were making a prequel streaming series based on the property. Originally I was not even planning on watching it, however upon its release on the streaming service Peacock, which by the way has anyone even heard of Peacock?? I swear there are so many streaming services around now that it’s hard to keep up with them all. That Weird Al movie that came out a year ago was on something called Roku. Still have no clue what the fudge is Roku! Can’t we just get these streaming companies to bundle up into one and give us all the content on one singular platform? Now is that too much to ask!? Apparently so. Regardless, with that rant aside, let’s talk about the Ted show.

Indeed it’s a surprise that the Ted series is actually kind of good! It’s a throwback to the 90s American sitcoms, with the show focusing on not only the bear but also on his family living in the suburbs. And each family members gets up to their amusing antics every episode, and though none of it breaks any new comedic ground, I must say this was a very enjoyable and easy watch. For one, this show is actually funny. From the ridiculous scenarios that occur, with Ted and John smoking weed for the first time, to their dad wishing upon a star and bringing his toy truck to life who becomes a Republican racist, to John going to buy a condom at a supermarket where an overly nice shop assistant helps him to pick what kind only to turn out to be a creep who runs away as soon as another shop assistant appears. Look, it’s all ridiculous and stupid, but for the most part a lot of the jokes land.

Also, it’s so easy for the teddy bear to steal the show, and of course Seth Macfarlane is on top form riffing and throwing insulting one-liners left and right, and there’s also so much physical and slapstick comedy that comes from the bear’s movements, from how he runs to the way he stares at people with emotionless eyes. The teddy is great, and also even though he’s crude, he never became tiresome or annoying, whereas in the movies he did get a tad repetitive. However the human characters also get enough development and focus that you warm up to the entire family. The kid that plays John was actually spot on with his Mark Wahlberg impression, nailing the accent, but also as a whole he did a great job having to act mostly next to CGI character. His chemistry with the bear was very good, and you felt their friendly camaraderie. As for the parents, the mum was hilarious as the innocently nice housekeeper who was super naive about everything, and the dad at first came off annoying and selfish, but as the show progressed you warmed up to him too due to the solid writing. Then Giorgia Whigham rounds up the cast as the rebellious cousin who disagrees with the old-school beliefs of the family, but also ends up being a key support to each character.

In terms of the negatives, for a show that’s billed as a sitcom, the episodes were way too long. The premiere alone was 50 mins, and then rest ranged around the 40 minute mark, and so pacing did drag at times. Especially when certain jokes were stretched out longer than they should be, they really should have been kept to around 20 mins. Aside of the pacing issues, this was a solid comedy show.

Ted by no means reinvents the comedic genre, however it’s truly an amusing show that will have you smiling throughout, and turns out to be way better than it had any right to be. Also the special effects on the bear are also really impressive. He really does look like a real talking bear, and the movements were all fluid and well done. So yep, Ted is a win. Here’s hoping for a second season!

Overall score: 7/10

[trendfilmsetter]

New look at the TED prequel series.

Releasing on Peacock January 11th, 2024

[joeinct]

Stand of Trees, Texas, Photo by Dan Burkholder, 1989

[cantcatchmeee]

fav scene

[gameofthunder66]

Ted (2024) miniseries

-(started) watchin' Season 1- 3/25/2024- on Peacock

[geekcavepodcast]

ted Trailer

ted is a prequel series to the Ted films. Set in 1993, Ted's fame has already passed and he lives in Framingham with 16-year-old John Bennett, John's parents Matty and Susan, and cousin Blaire.

ted stars Seth MacFarlane (voice of Ted), Max Burkholder (John), Scott Grimes (Matty), Alanna Ubach (Susan), and Giorgia Whigham (Blaire).

ted hits Peacock on January 11, 2024.

[hollywoodhandle]

Max Burkholder Talks About Playing A Young John Bennet In ‘Ted’ (Exclusive)

One of the highest grossing and most popular R-Rated comedies of all time, Ted, is finally back for his own TV series. In this series, it’s 1993 and Ted’s moment of fame has passed, leaving him living with his best friend, 16-year-old John Bennett (Burkholder), who lives in a working-class Boston home with his parents and cousin. Ted might not be the best influence on John, but when it comes…

[masoncarr2244]

Ted 1x01 (Part 3)

[abs0luteb4stard]

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