#but EVEN STILL during the Journey HE'S STILL A PEOPLE PLEASER

[lunar-wandering]

laying in bed thinking about how Wukong is a people pleaser and this part of him gets frequently overlooked due to the focus on his hot-headedness/impulsivity

[anachronistic-falsehood]

oh my god dude. sorry i'm gonna have a homestuck interlude to classpect qpac and his role in the narrative because i'm thinking about him

he's. SO Page of Hope coded. he's so page of hope fr. his class being a Page makes so much sense because throughout homestuck, every single Page are all people pleasers. they're walking doormats who rarely stand up for themselves. they feel like they can't do anything right, so they sit down and shut up half the time so they don't do anything wrong. and his aspect being Hope makes so much sense because like. Hope is about optimism and doing right for right's sake and helping those who are down. he holds optimism as his greatest shield even when things are crumbling around him. it's so important to him!!!!

but also being a Page means that he lacks his aspect in a way, and his journey will be long and arduous before he can see the fruits of his labour, and when his efforts pay off, MAN it will pay off. there are so many times when he has just seemed to have completely given up hope. he's been broken down again and again and again and you can see the peak of that during the risus pills arc, when he was so out of it he was actively suicidal. but somehow he keeps bouncing back!!! he found the cure anyway, he left it for Cellbit, the guy he's terrified of, and he saved himself and Forever. he will step between something that scares him and something he wants to protect even as he cries and shakes and sniffles the whole time.

the thing about Pages is that it takes a long time for them to reach their full potential, and there will be so many bumps in the road before he even comes close. but when a Page finds that potential, they can be one of the most helpful, powerful, and dangerous members of their session. Pac is an extremely useful member of the server, he's extremely skilled, he just doesn't see it, and he can't reach his full potential as a Page until he can recognize his own accomplishments. the only problem is that when Pages reach their full potential, they have a tendency of dying right away. when Jake faces Aranea in Game Over, when Tavros stands up to Vriska, they both die almost immediately.

Pac and Jake "yes and" everything because they don't want to be a burden, and Pac and Tavros don't know how to face the people who traumatized them. the inaction of Jake and Tavros is what ultimately leads to their deaths at the hands of the Light players who hurt and manipulated them. (coincidentally, i also see Cellbit as a Light player, a Prince or Bard of Light, but that's for another post!!!) Tavros didn't stand up to Vriska sooner, Jake couldn't say no to Aranea, and Pac folds as soon as Cellbit, one of his greatest fears, is in front of him with a knife.

Tavros and Jake forgive people who hurt them no matter what they've done. Pac has faced his own Light Player and died multiple times at his hands in both Purgatories, and now after a brief interrupted apology, they're supposedly just fine. Cellbit doesn't mean to be, but he is Pac's own personal Serket.

the difference with Pac though is that he is like if Jake or Tavros got a well-rounded continuation to their character arcs. his story isn't done!! it's still going!! he's getting there!!! he's getting more confident, he has support from the people around him, and i think eventually he can break this doomed-by-the-narrative cycle that fully fledged Pages seem to have.

[djmarek-rapidcityweddingdj]

Spearfish South Dakota Wedding Celebrations - Austin & Natalie's September 2023 Wedding

Spearfish South Dakota Wedding Celebratinos - Austin & Natalie's September 2024 Wedding

Love stories have a unique way of bringing people together, and Austin and Natalie's journey is no exception. On a warm September day in Spearfish, South Dakota, amidst the serene backdrop of The Barn at Aspen Acres, their love story reached its pinnacle. This charming wedding celebration, filled with joy, laughter, and heartfelt moments, was made even more memorable by the musical magic spun by DJ Marek. Join us as we recount the magical day of Austin and Natalie's wedding celebration in the heart of the Black Hills.

The Barn at Aspen Acres: A Rustic Dream Come True

Nestled in the heart of Spearfish, The Barn at Aspen Acres is a rustic wedding venue that captures the essence of country charm. With its sprawling acres of greenery, towering pine trees, and the picturesque barn itself, it's a place where dreams of a rustic fairytale wedding come to life. Austin and Natalie chose this idyllic setting for their special day, and it couldn't have been more perfect.

As guests arrived, they were greeted by the breathtaking beauty of the venue. The barn doors swung open to reveal an enchanting world of romance and rustic elegance. Wooden beams adorned with twinkling fairy lights and rustic chic décor set the stage for the day's festivities.

The Love Story Unfolds

Austin and Natalie's love story is one that inspires hope and reaffirms the belief in true love. Their journey began years ago when they met in college, a serendipitous encounter that would shape their lives forever. Friends turned into confidants, and soon, they realized they had found their soulmates in each other.

Their love story was beautifully woven into their wedding celebration, from the heartfelt vows they exchanged to the tender glances they shared throughout the day. It was evident to everyone present that Austin and Natalie were meant to be together.

The Role of DJ Marek - A Spearfish South Dakota Wedding Entertainment DJ

Every wedding celebration has its heartbeat, and for Austin and Natalie's special day, that beat was expertly curated by DJ Marek Rapid City Wedding DJ Services. Hailing from Rapid City, South Dakota, DJ Marek brought his unique blend of musical talent and charisma to the occasion.

DJ Marek's music selection was nothing short of exceptional. From setting the mood during the ceremony to energizing the dance floor during the reception, he demonstrated an innate understanding of the couple's musical preferences and the vibe they wanted to create. The playlist was a harmonious mix of classic love songs, foot-tapping tunes, and crowd-pleasers that kept the guests on their feet all night long.

One of the highlights of the evening was Austin and Natalie's first dance as a married couple. DJ Marek played their special song, and as the couple swayed to the music, it was as though time stood still. The dance floor was their world, and the joy on their faces was a testament to the magic of the moment.

Haley Mercedes Photography Captures the Memories

The person responsible for etching these moments into lasting memories was Hailey from Haley Mercedes Photography. From the intimate moments shared between Austin and Natalie during their first look to the stolen glances between family members during the ceremony, Hailey's attention to detail was evident in every photograph. She had a way of blending into the background, allowing the day to unfold naturally while she documented it with finesse.

A Night of Celebrations

As the sun dipped below the horizon, the barn came alive with the sound of laughter, music, and dance. DJ Marek's seamless transitions between songs kept the energy high, and the dance floor remained packed throughout the night. It was a celebration of love, friendship, and the beginning of a new chapter for Austin and Natalie.

The heartfelt toasts, the joyous laughter, and the heartfelt embraces between family and friends made the night truly unforgettable. The bond between Austin and Natalie and the love they shared with everyone present was palpable.

A Grateful Farewell

As the night came to a close, Austin and Natalie bid farewell to their loved ones, thanking them for being a part of their special day. The magical wedding celebration at The Barn at Aspen Acres, Spearfish, South Dakota, with music provided by DJ Marek, was a testament to the power of love, music, and the beauty of rustic charm.

In the heart of the Black Hills, a love story unfolded, and a new chapter began. Austin and Natalie's wedding was a reminder that love knows no bounds, and when you find your soulmate, life becomes a beautiful journey filled with moments to cherish forever.

As we reflect on this magical celebration, we are left with the belief that true love, like a well-curated playlist, has the power to touch our hearts, uplift our spirits, and make us dance to the rhythm of life.

Austin and Natalie, may your journey together continue to be filled with love, laughter, and hapily ever after!

Spearfish South Dakota Wedding Vendors:

Ceremony & Reception - The Barn at Aspen Acres in Spearfish, SD

DJ Services & Ceremony Music: DJ Marek - Rapid City Wedding Ceremony & Reception DJ

Photography: Hailey Mercedes Photogrpahy in Spearfish, SD

[distortedclouds]

Annie didn't come back just for Armin, she came to save all of the Alliance and that's what most people fail to acknowledge. Annie grew as a whole person because she realized about all the connections she made along her journey, and the panels from her memories very much tell us so (thanks mappa for fucking it up btw): the warriors, the scouts, Armin... He was just ONE OF the reasons why she came back. People interpreted her comeback as something she did ONLY TO be with Armin which disrupts her characterization and makes people believe the author reduced her to his waifu. Aruanis failing to see this keep perpetuating this wrong image of her.

I agree yeah it's unfair to ignore Annie's newly-realized love and attachment to everyone in the Alliance. Her actions during the final fight also prove that she cares about them all and will fight to protect them even in her search to get Armin back

I find the order of her memories really revealing. Because her father has been at the forefront of her mind ever since she could remember. Every single act she took, she kept her father and her goal of returning to him in consideration. But now that he's gone, she's no longer blinded by him and starts thinking about her own warrior squad and then the 104th and Armin even gets his own panel

(I still have faith that MAPPA is gonna do something special with these two pages in the last part. Annie's obviously one of their favorites and I doubt they would've neglected literally 10 seconds of footage for something this important, but we'll have to wait and see)

I think my point of contention is that Armin is one of the reasons, true, but he's also the biggest of them. So I'm gonna have to somewhat disagree on the point that Annie isn't coming back only for Armin. Primarily because it'd be unjust to expect Annie to suddenly be able to have and maintain a healthy attachment to Armin and the rest from the get-go considering her past

It's gonna be messy and early-on in their relationship Annie will be too dependent on Armin for all her emotional needs and be somewhat of a chronic people pleaser (I always thought she was a bit of a doormat for the people she truly cares about, but it isn't apparent because the people around her aren't taking advantage of her). So while no, I definitely don't want Annie reduced to a waifu with no character of her own by the fandom, I still think it's unfair to hold her to high standard of emotional and relationship intelligence and maturity when she hadn't had the adequate time or environment to heal

[lcec0ldheart]

Time to introduce my OCs‼️

Oh boy! Here we are!

Since I’m beginning to use tumblr, I can now finally introduce my trio of disasters! I’ve been waiting a while to start talking about them, and I think putting them here is better than info dumping on my private account lol. With that out of the way, let’s go!

VIOLET STARIUS⭐️🌙

(Funfact: She’s the newest of my ocs, being first made only a month or two ago! Loosely inspired by Liko, but she’s changed quite a lot since then!)

The first, and youngest of the trio! Violet is 14 years old, her birthday being January 31st. She’s a curious, intelligent, somewhat shy gal. Kind, empathetic, caring, and wants to help others. She loves space -and in the pokémon version of her- pokémon as well. You’ll find her reading, drawing something, or playing her violin, and while she’s a bit nervous, she’s open to try new things to learn them, as she wants to learn what does the world around her hold! Though, Violet’s a bit forgetful, clumsy, and gets lost easily…She’s also a bit of a people pleaser, and is terrible at lying. The heart of the group, as she’s why the three have managed to form a strong friendship.

Violet has the ability to use telekenesis, via focusing energy using her hand onto objects (or people!) to move them around, to wherever she wants them to go. She can also see in the dark, hear very well, and her eyes glow in the dark for some reason…While she doesn’t like to fight, she’s good at dodging and using the oppenent’s movements against them.

FROST AURORA❄️🏹

(Second image is a shitpost. Funfact, he’s the first oc I made that’s listed here, being first thought up in november 2023!)

The second of the trio! Frost is 15 years old, his birthday is December 25th! He’s a more reserved/aloof guy. He’s also quite smart, especially in terms of tactics and fights! Frost is swift, chilling, and tenacious! Sassy, and he can get angry or spiteful. Despite this, he’s pretty considerate, and stands up for what he believes is right. Frost is somewhat stubborn, antisocial, but he wants to do the right thing. You’ll find him practicing the gutiar, drawing, or thinking. He wants to find his purpose and be strong for those he cares for -even if it means taking drastic measures.

Frost has the power to cool the temperature of stuff to the point it’ll freeze, being able to create ice and snow out of the water droplets in the air. He can manipulate ice too, and he’s skilled with a bow and arrow! He usually goes in for a fast attack, then getting out of the opponent's range until they’ve been defeated, though he knows how to put up a fight in close quarters as well.

CITRINE GOLDENHEART🗡️💛

(I still need to actually draw her, but this will have to do for now. Fun fact, the first concept of her was “what if this cartoon character was in pokémon”)

The last, and the oldest of the three! Citrine is 16 years old, and her birthday is on April 13th! An adventurous, hot-headed, brave and passionate girl. She can be impulsive and sometimes fails to consider the consequences of others, but she means well! Outgoing, reckless, and tackles things head on! She’s the most athletic of the three, being physically strong with good stamina. Citrine’s also very persistent, and will literally refuse to give up. Ever. It’s both one of her greatest strengths and flaws. She likes to play the drums, or go for a run, and…write? I know, surprising, but she loves creating stories, to tell during her journey or inspired by her adventures!

Citrine is real good with a sword, she was very excited when she found one! Turns out she likes stabbing and slashing whatever stands in her way! She’s best in close combat, using her sword to deliver strong attacks to deal a lot of damage! She tends to get hit, but being so perseverant and stubborn allows her to keep fighting until her opponent falls.

I hope that wasn’t too boring to read, but now I’ve introduced my main OCs! I’ll probably ramble about them on here, if you don’t like that sorry lol, this is my blog im the one writing about these idiots at 10 pm

Joking, though it is actually late! Thank you for reading all the way through, and I hope you have a lovely day! Bye byeee

[onewomancitadel]

As a preface I just wanted to say that I'm really glad I stumbled on this page; I had dropped RWBY but your analysis and Skimming Eye (which is incredible btw) pulled me back in. I'm curious as to your interpretation of the Paper Pleasers and Jaune (aside from the dad angle, which is kinda fun to think about). I personally saw it as a setup for Jaune's Ascension, allowing him to regain purpose after being disillusioned and return to youth (hopefully with the hair). Thank you for your time.

Yay, enrichment in my containment. Thank you anon. That's very kind of you to say, and thank you for reading my fanfic.

I admit to being delighted it made you watch RWBY again, though I take no responsibility for the emotional damages. tee hee

I don't commit to any premature conclusions; there are a few ways they could play it yet. The idea of rebirth (which Jaune currently rejects) is significant. The set-up right now is that Jaune is old and disillusioned and has lost his life; he's given himself to waiting.

Would you marry a literal rebirth (magical transformation) with a symbolic transformation? Yes, and most prominently - I may be repeating myself here - this is the set-up for other characters in the story (Cinder, Oscar) who will go through the same thing. What happens to him will tell us what to expect with them. Even Penny has already given us the foreshadowing of what may happen to Ozma.

They've set the stage-and-scene, so it's just a matter of following through. Once you consider the evidence (king reborn as a prince) and how that can be followed on through, it does make one wonder. The problem is that the prince doesn't remember his life as the king, but I doubt that will be the case in Jaune's context (and separately in Oscar's, he similarly has 'too much life'). I think the threat he might forget is just to give more narrative weight to whatever twist eventuates.

You might see under my Jaune tag that I've written about rebirth as a theme in his character arc and the connected autumnal imagery, and I still think this is significant with him. So right now, with what they committed to this episode, a depressing resolution is off the cards. I would tentatively assert that. It's not fair he's been alone, it's not fair he's been left in Ever After, we know martyrdom has been rejected with him, right now he's terrified of rebirth and change and confronting who he really is, so that is the organic direction to take him. It's just how that's in question, so then you need to start asking practical questions.

Of course, as I remarked briefly in an errant post, if it's as simple as a magical fruit that makes him old, it may not be all that complicated. The psychological journey is the hard part. Practically whatever form it eventuates will convey the ideas we need.

Right now Jaune and Ruby are most closely going through separate awakenings to spiritual aridity. So his transformation is probably going to happen in respect to hers. That's at least how I would tie it, and how it's been tied so far. What does that tell us about the things they'll have to do, and the ideological evolution of them both? I really think it's an exciting direction to take them, especially depending on future narrative developments. What heroes do they want to be? What do they have to confront to understand themselves, and the people around them? How do they accept the pain of being truly alive?

I agree: hopefully with the hair. I think that if they did keep that, honestly, it would visually represent a merging of him then and now. No exaggeration, when they revealed his new hair back during V7 I was like, oh okay they've abandoned Jaune because this makes him look like a joke, and I don't know if this happens to be a course correction in response to that, but it is conceptually interesting. It's possible to twist that into something meaningful, anyway, if I were writing by the seat of my pants.

My summary of how much has changed regarding his character this episode: really I think this has struck the possibility he won't be saved off the books, and a physical transformation to represent a symbolic idea is clever. Then you get the interesting interplay of an older character who's also young, which is like Oscar, with an experience which has alienated but also empowered him. Suffice it to say, it sets up a lot narratively. Who else has been alone, tormented, and isolated for that long?

[humblemooncat]

To what degree do you use the OC creation process as a way of exploring your own strengths and flaws?

Honestly? Probably more than I'm even aware of.

Every character I create has some piece of me in their personality and/or backstory. It's just part of my process, consciously or no.

In fact, Ki'to himself was supposed to be a self-insert until he became his own person as the story progressed. As such, he has a huge amount in common with me including my strengths and flaws.

Especially ARR Ki'to, who would stop to help everyone he could because he genuinely wanted to help. He was a people pleaser.

I think this is why the Dark Knight story hit me so hard, and why it's remained Ki'to's main class. Fray/Esteem sees the people pleaser and says "Enough. You are spreading yourself too thin and you need to learn to say no". Myste sees the hidden pain and grief and says "It's okay to cry, it will help ease your pain". And Rielle and Sid have shown me your past and your circumstances do not have to define you. You can be better. I dunno, there's a lot the DRK job quests touched on that I think we both needed to hear.

And you know how many unnecessary side quests I touched during MSQ progression? 0. Ever since ARR it's been MSQ and blue quests, or anything needed to unlock progress. The sea of other problems can be tackled later, and over time.

That said, he still has immense empathy and love for those around him. Things I consider to be strengths we both share.

And, boy did those things make the story that much more impactful. They may be pixels at the end of the day, but gods if I don't love every single friend/lover we've made along our journey. So much so that whenever I go to a certain area, I will go visit my favorite NPCs if I can. Like when I get to the Crystarium, I will always go see my favorite bookworm Moren. Or if I'm in Mor Dhona I'll stop in for tea with Tataru. <3

I will always find some way I relate to my characters, and sometimes knowing that and experiencing things through them is cathartic.

Thank you so much for the ask, @parfaitpuffballpanic! I went on a small tangent, but I'm happy it made me think on it. Sometimes I forget how much a character and their experiences can change me because of this facet of their creation.

[milespulido]

BIO * WANTED CONNETIONS * TIMELINE

Being raised in a full and loud household shaped Miles to be a certified chatterbox. There’s nothing he can’t talk about one he opens that mouth of his. Along with the more to average chitchat, Miles loves to keep active social life (big shocker). You can usually catch him hanging out at the bar after a long shift or talking to some poor soul at the gym. Don’t let it fool you, though. Underneath all of that happiness is a man that overthinks every decision he’s made, and is his biggest critic. Many don’t see that he has an anger issue because he keeps everything bottled up. The majority of the time, though, he wants to be everybody’s best friend. Is he a bit of a people pleaser? Most definitely.

BASIC INFORMATION:

full name: Miguel Pulido

nickname: Miles, Migue (mostly family)

birthday: March 3, 1992

birth place: San Diego, California

occupation: Certified paramedic. Part-time mechanic at Takato’s Bike Garage.

hobbies: Playing guitar, working out, talking, eating.

pets: Two. Melon (female pit, 3). Brisa (female boxer mix)

tattoos: Pisces design on right arm. [ x ] Matching tattoos with his brothers of the letter P on side of right wrist. Small eagle wings on right chest. More to come.

BIO:

Though born in the Finest City in California; Miles likes to say that his life began when he moved to Merrock. Mostly it’s because he doesn’t have many memories of San Diego. Since he was a kid, Miles had always been the loudest of his class. His excuse was because he had four brothers to talk over, and he needed to be heard loud and clear. Eventually, that got him into plenty of trouble. That trouble followed him through to the end of his high school days, and sometimes, even now. While his parents tried their best to teach all of their children responsibility, Miles always had a difficult time trying to life up to those expectations. It didn’t help that his younger brothers always seemed to be a few steps ahead of him in life despite Miles being the oldest.  After graduating, Miles entered the nursing program to become a BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing). His motivation being that a family friend of theirs said that Miles’ optimism would be ideal for that line of work. All was going according to plan until the last year of his nursing program when Miles grew exhausted, and felt too burnt that he dropped out. Disappointment from his family, and from himself, Miles then becomes a EMT. Life slowly went back to normal, and Miles eventually began to date Reyna. The two had a blissful relationship that eventually turned into a bright future with them getting engaged just three years later. Wanting a better life for himself and for his bride-to-be, Miles begins to the process to become a paramedic. During the course of his and Reyna’s engagement, Miles fails the paramedic exam two times which adds stress to the wedding. Resulting the termination to the bright future that Miles once saw with her. Heartbroken as ever, Miles takes a part-time job while he keeps his EMT job and keeps studying to become a paramedic.  A full year of keeping the same exhausting schedule, Miles finally achieves his goal, and becomes a paramedic. It took a while to channel that friendly and optimistic side of Miles again, and sometimes, he does slip back to his moody and gloomy self. The way he can cope is by practicing with his band or working on bikes to keep his head clear from the mistakes he did in the past. It’s still a long journey, but he’s taking it a day at a time. 

MORE INFO:

face claim: Danny Ramirez

written by: Drea

MORE TO COME

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

face claim: Danny Ramirez

full name: Miguel Pulido

nickname(s) / goes by: Miles, Migue (mostly by family) 

pronouns & gender: He/Him & cis man 

sexuality: Straight

birth date: March 3, 1992

birth place: San Diego, CA

arrival to merrock: Since 1996

housing: Countryside 

occupation: Paramedic & Part-time mechanic 

work place: Around town on calls & part time at Takato’s Garage

family: Mother, father, younger siblings.

relationship status: Single

PERSONALITY

Being raised in a full and loud household shaped Miles to be a certified chatterbox. There’s nothing he can’t talk about one he opens that mouth of his. Along with the more to average chitchat, Miles loves to keep active social life (big shocker). You can usually catch him hanging out at the bar after a long shift or talking to some poor soul at the gym. Don’t let it fool you, though. Underneath all of that happiness is a man that overthinks every decision he’s made, and is his biggest critic. Many don’t see that he has an anger issue because he keeps everything bottled up. The majority of the time, though, he wants to be everybody’s best friend. Is he a bit of a people pleaser? Most definitely. 

WRITTEN BY: Drea (she/her), pst.

BACKGROUND / BIO

Though born in the Finest City in California; Miles likes to say that his life began when he moved to Merrock. Mostly it’s because he doesn’t have many memories of San Diego. Since he was a kid, Miles had always been the loudest of his class. His excuse was because he had four brothers to talk over, and he needed to be heard loud and clear. Eventually, that got him into plenty of trouble. That trouble followed him through to the end of his high school days, and sometimes, even now. While his parents tried their best to teach all of their children responsibility, Miles always had a difficult time trying to live up to those expectations. It didn’t help that his younger brothers always seemed to be a few steps ahead of him in life despite Miles being the oldest.

After graduating, Miles entered the nursing program to become a BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing). His motivation being that a family friend of theirs said that Miles’ optimism would be ideal for that line of work. All was going according to plan until the last year of his nursing program when Miles grew exhausted, and felt too burnt that he dropped out. Disappointment from his family, and from himself, Miles then becomes a EMT. Life slowly went back to normal, and Miles eventually began to date Reyna. The two had a blissful relationship that eventually turned into a bright future with them getting engaged just three years later.

Wanting a better life for himself and for his bride-to-be, Miles begins to the process to become a paramedic. During the course of his and Reyna’s engagement, Miles fails the paramedic exam two times which adds stress to the wedding. Resulting the termination to the bright future that Miles once saw with her. Heartbroken as ever, Miles takes a part-time job while he keeps his EMT job and keeps studying to become a paramedic.

A full year of keeping the same exhausting schedule, Miles finally achieves his goal, and becomes a paramedic. It took a while to channel that friendly and optimistic side of Miles again, and sometimes, he does slip back to his moody and gloomy self. The way he can cope is by practicing with his band or working on bikes to keep his head clear from the mistakes he did in the past. It’s still a long journey, but he’s taking it a day at a time.

[they-callme-ami]

Gender and Sexuality headcannons for Infinity Train passangers and Hazel. 

(I’ll make a seperate posts for just the photos but if you want to read about the why behind them, click down below for more)

Tulip Olsen:

Gender wise, I think Tulip is a demigirl. The definition (according to google) is "A gender identity term for someone who was assigned female at birth but does not fully identify with being a woman, socially or mentally." For some reason, while I was doing this--it just felt like Tulip. She identifies as a girl, uses the pronouns and seems happy as one--but she seems like the kind of person to not really fit with other women in a certain way, if that makes sense.

Sexuality wise, I'll be honest. I think Tulip is an aromantic. And I don't just mean because she never had a potential love interest or human friend on the train. Her little road trip song? "No romance, no romance, no romance for me mamma." Plus, check the colors match, I rest my case.

Lake:

Okay this one is easy and I don't even think there will be any arguments or debate about this one. The evidence is all there. Cutting off hair, wearing more masculine/androgynous clothing, wanting to be your own person, changing their name to a NOUN to signify their new life, not wanting to be put into boxes? Lake is a she/her and they/them (mostly the later after escaping the train) non-binary and pansexual. It's just the facts.

Jesse Casay:

For Jesse, I believe that he is trans. Why? Most of book 2 was about Lake's journey to discover who they are and get off the train, but Jesse was still their because of his own lessons he had to learn. He was a people pleaser and never stood up for himself and did what he thought would make people like him more. He also makes his little brother partake in his 'friends' ritual of a 'manhood test' where they shove him down a hill and he breaks his arm--it feels like he was in a way, overcompensating. It seems like he's such a people pleaser and conformist because he doesn't want to give others a chance to dismiss him for who he is.

I also think he is pansexual. No deep meaning--I just honest to god think he truly does like EVERYONE.

Grace Monroe:

Her parents didn't seem like the type to pay attention to their daughter already, and give off 'rich black republican' energy which clues me in on 2 things.

Her parents would not care enough to use Grace's pronouns if she were trans, so I do believe she is cisgender.

Her parents wouldn't even notice that she's a lesbian, and if they did she definitely wasn't allowed to act on those feelings. Probably why she has a hard time interacting with other girls her age and why she sees Simon as just a friend, despite all the tools there for them to have been together.

Simon Laurent:

Look this isn't even me doing the whole 'haha, the bad guy is the cishet, cis-het white men are icky' thing. Literally, name one thing about Simon that could be queer-coded. You could argue he was deep DEEP in the closet I guess--but I just got straight and cisgender vibes from him.

Hazel:

Now stay with me on this one. Stay with me here. This is not because Hazel is a denizen. But I believe Hazel is an intersex child that uses she/her pronouns is aromantic. Hazel is only 6 (or so she says) and it's a bit hard to argue sexuality for someone who's both very young and probably hasn't even had their first crush yet. But gender wise--I think intersex works. Not only does Hazel remind me of Stevonnie (a cannon intersex character) but her whole character is her trying to figure out 'what' she is and how she doesn't completley belong anywhere. She was most comfortable with Tuba, another denizen like her, but even Hazel was 'different' from her and was caught between 2 worlds--and she didn't want to choose. She's just Hazel.

Amelia Hughes:

Super easy here. Amelia gives off bi-wife energy and distinguished bi energy where ever she goes. She just--I can't explain it but she isn't straight for sure. You could argue she leans closer to men because of marrying Alrick but proposing to a man during that time period?? Not the traditional cis-het womanly thing to do. Also--come on. Y'all know. Y'all KNOW.

Min-Gi Park:

Book 4 was just "this is for the mlm" personified. Book 2 was for the trans/enby folk, but book 4 was for the gays. Min-Gi is the personification of 'in the closet but in love with my best friend' to the 9's. The reason he gets off the train is because he finally accepts that he doesn't want to fit the status quo, he wants to be with Ryan and outright says he won't LEAVE the train without Ryan--who was currently still at 202-- while he was at 0. That is the GAYEST shit I ever saw. He's def not out to anyone yet, but he checks off those boxes alright.

Ryan Akagi:

Do I need to explain?? Do I REALLY need to explain? I will. Ryan is a neurodivergent, rocker teen who drives a van across the country in the 80's and wants his childhood best friend to come back and reform their band. He uses the t-shirt said best friend made for him as a headband and keeps it for years after they spilt apart. He has a rockin fashion sense, definitely loves the ladies (he unironically flirted with a cat and had multiple girlfriends) but also is in love with his best friend. Hell--he FITS the red-blue soulmate trope--he is literally a rebel without a cause and doesn't seem to fit anywhere but with his best friend and band partner--

Ladies and Gentleman, Ryan Akagi is a disaster bisexual enby that uses he/him and they/them pronouns, thanks for coming to my fuckin' Ted Talk.

[nclkafilms]

Looking at life from both sides

(Review of ‘CODA’ watched on the 31st of January 2022)

In the beginning of 2021, Sian Heder's 'CODA' became an instant crowd pleaser at Sundance taking home both the director, grand jury and audience award as well as a record breaking acquisition by Apple. Yet, I remember seeing people asking whether it would just fall in the slipstream of 'Sound of Metal' and be overlooked come the 2022 awards season due to the surprising success of Metal during last year's season. Luckily, that's not the case. CODA is still here, there and everywhere. Along with 'Sound of Metal' it is another great example of how to make films about marginalised groups with its focus on a fishing family of four in which Emilia Jones' Ruby is the only hearing member, making her a 'child of deaf adults' or CODA. The awards success of CODA (so far) shows that it's more than just a sweet, heartwarming coming-of-age film, but how come?

The film starts at sea, where we see Ruby with her family on their trawler. She sings loudly (to Etta James’ ‘Something’s Got A hold On Me’); her father and brother are there, but being deaf they never hear her singing. In a way she's singing for someone while singing all on her own. As she starts her last year in high school, the presence of fellow student Miles makes her pick Choir class, because as she says to her friend "I sing all the time”, but is it really Miles that draws her there? This is where her personal journey starts; the journey towards a future in music, a future driven by her own dreams. Dreams that are fuelled by her teacher, Mr. V, who offers to tutor her ahead of applying to a music college. Simultaneously, the fishermen in town - including Ruby's family - are hit by increasing demands, falling prices and bureaucracy. Challenges that only are bigger when you are forced to have a hearing member onboard. A job that can “only” be done by Ruby being the only hearing member of the family business. It's here, in the family drama that CODA both hits all coming-of-age clichés and ends up finding its overpowering strength.

One very big reason why it succeeds in spite of doing everything by the book, is due to some amazing performances from its main cast. Especially from Emilia Jones as Ruby & Troy Kotsur as her father, Frank. Jones not only sings like an angel, she also shows some true acting talent as she balances the feelings of Ruby with a fitting subtlety. She is in one way your everyday teenager caught in the middle of figuring out who you want to be and what love is while battling with embarrassing parents and an unreasoned self-doubt. On the other hand, she is - as part of a marginalised family who don't get or seek a lot of help and understanding from society - very much grown up with huge responsibilities. Jones caught me off guard with her charming, touching and fragile performance, that in my opinion deserves more awards attention than it ended up getting. And boy, her version of Joni Mitchell's 'Both Sides Now' is one of the musical highlights of 2021 as a film year (which included some big musical films!). That she had to learn both singing, sign language and trawling for the film only makes her performance more impressive.

Kotsur, deaf himself, is no stranger to Hollywood. However, his turn as Frank here seems like a late career kick starter with plenty of awards focus coming his way with an Oscar nomination the latest in his hat - fully deserved, that is. He gets quite a few big laughs as the embarrassing parent whether it is when arriving at Ruby’s school blasting heavy gangster rap from the car’s speakers so he can feel the bass or his suggestive sign language when Miles is at home with Ruby practising for the first time. His humour landed perfectly with me, but he is just as good when he has to be dramatic. Two scenes in particular stands out for me: when he finally “speaks up” at a council meeting letting all his frustrations go. Even though Ruby does the talking, Kotsur embodies all Frank’s frustrations as a businessman who is unfairly treated, as a father who tries to keep his family together, and as a marginalised person in an environment where he has never felt fully included. The other scene is when he asks Ruby to sing for him, so he can feel her singing. This scene was one of the most touching of the film - in particular because of Kotsur’s very fine work. The connection between Frank and Ruby in this scene feels so natural, so real.

That is in general how I would describe the family portrait in CODA: natural and real. Apart from Jones and Kotsur the family is made up of previous Oscar winner Marlee Matlin as Jackie (the mother) and Daniel Durant as Leo (the older brother) - both, like Kotsur, are deaf in real life. Matlin as Jackie has the least to do of the four, but she gets to shine in some scenes; as a mother realising her daughter is growing up and might fly away on her own journey and as someone who hides away from her surroundings in fear of not fitting in. Daniel Durant as Ruby’s bigger brother, Leo, really gets to be more than just the annoying bigger brother as the film takes its turns. Durant gets to highlight some of the most fascinating dilemmas of Ruby and the family’s situation. Is he good enough? Can he be the help to the family that he wants to be and maybe feel obliged to be as the oldest child? His reactions towards Ruby as she struggles to pick her right path are both hard-hitting and understandable. I actually believed the family bond between the four of them; one of the film’s strongest assets. Finally, Eugenio Derbez as music teacher, Bernardo Villalobos, grows throughout the film and ends up a stronger character than the initially indicated (classic) caricature of a music teacher. The chemistry between Ruby and Miles (Ferdia Walsh-Peelo) is lovely, but their storyline is still the weakest and most bland aspect of the film.

It is, however, in the family bond and drama between Ruby, Leo, Jackie and Frank that the film soars. This is in many ways due to an unequivocal realism and authenticity. Naturally, Kotsur, Matlin and Durant adds a layer of authenticity to their roles by being deaf actors - something the original French film (on which this is based) was criticised for not having. It is clear that some of their characters’ frustrations, emotions and actions are relatable to them and it suits the film and their performances. The second reason for the film’s authenticity is the work of writer and director Sian Heder, who were adamant that the film needed to put more focus on Ruby’s family and cast deaf actors for all deaf roles, while also having CODA’s and the deaf community heavily involved in her adaptation of the French original. She has done a very good job delivering a tight and heartwarming screenplay that manages to tell us just enough about the family, its individual members and the other individuals surrounding Ruby for us to understand their actions and emotions while steering free from over-explaining and over-indulging on the obvious tear-jerker material in place.   

While the acting, writing and directing are of the finer work in 2021, the film is somewhat lacklustre in its audio-visual visions. Perhaps in particular when it comes to the visual visions it falls flat; the cinematography is bland and to some extent the film’s visual style have some tv movie vibes. As previously mentioned, the film knows all the typical “needs” of a coming-of-age-film and it ticks nearly every box: a troubling love interest, a dilemma between following your own dreams and doing what is expected of you, embarrassing and troubling family relations, a close friend offering some comic relief and an inspirational figure to spur the dream initially. It’s all here and as such it is almost a paint-by-numbers example of this genre always balancing on the edge of corniness. Something I’m typically slightly allergic towards.

So how come it works so well anyway? Ultimately it is down to a combination of the stunning performances from the main cast, the empathetic directing and writing from Sian Heder and a brilliant soundtrack featuring a fitting score from Marius de Vries and some very well-picked songs performed beautifully by Emilia Jones in particular. The actors find their way to your heartstrings thanks to their natural chemistry, subtlety and nuanced emotions. Heder has managed to create a story about a marginalised family that gains its power and value by first and foremost presenting us with a view into their family life - it is the family tensions, drama and decisions that drive their story while never losing track of their marginalised reality. The latter never becomes a dominating or forced factor, though, and thus CODA never does to its subject matter what society so often does; it never marginalises the challenges the family faces nor the value they have to their surroundings. To me, that is why CODA ends up as the authentic, touching and empathetic film experience that is. 

4/5

[woodrokiro]

Do It For the Band, Part Four

Fandom: Bleach

Pairing: IchiRuki

Summary: When Tatsuki said she wanted their sophomore album to be the next Rumours, this is NOT what she meant. Band AU. Read Part One, Two, and Three. 

Rukia’s sure they’re not crossing any lines.

… Pretty sure.

She’s never been in a band like this before--or, well. A band, period. And from the movies she’s watched, the musician biographies she’s read and the behind-the-album documentaries she’s seen she imagines her group’s closeness is normal. Grabbing a tea and writing in a coffee shop with Chad, meeting up with Tatsuki at bars and picking out cute girls the drummer might like--these sort of things are normal. They’re her friends, after all. 

And she doesn’t do much different with Ichigo. It just… Feels different.

Especially when they start spending time together after recording sessions.  

They don’t even do anything, really. Mostly just put on a record at Ichigo’s place and talk about their favorite albums. Sometimes they’ll watch a movie together: Rukia on one far end of his tattered, second-hand couch, curled into the arm while Ichigo tries to scrounge something up for dinner in the kitchen behind her. 

And… Okay, she’s fallen asleep there. A couple times. But in a completely platonic way. She’ll wake up on his couch with a blanket over her, and Ichigo will walk in and nag at her for sinking the cushions of his couch and she’ll groggily snap back that maybe he should get a new couch then--

She’s stayed late there so often that Ichigo bought her a toothbrush to keep in the bathroom (“I can smell your morning breath all the way from the bedroom”), but it’s fine because it is! So! Platonic!!!

They’re friends. They’re friends. 

She’s (pretty) sure of it. 

It’s the end of the recording sessions when they go to her place because she had forgotten the champagne she meant to bring for celebrating their last day. The recording studio happened to be only a few blocks away, but he insisted on walking back with her to grab them. 

(“Shut up and let me be a gentleman” he had grumbled, and Rukia tries to ignore Tatsuki’s stare piercing them both). 

They had just finished climbing the six stories in her apartment building when she spies the roses at her door. 

He scoffs. “Who are those from? Yourself?” 

She rolls her eyes, picking up the flowers to read the card attached. “Good one, idiot. No. My brother.” 

“Byakuya? What the hell does he want?” 

She’s surprised he remembers his name; then again, she supposes she’s mentioned him in passing enough times. 

It’s funny: the little details they know about each other by now. 

“Don’t talk about him so crudely. I told him about the album awhile ago.”

“Yeah, and you said he never responded.” He waits respectfully in the hallway as she unlocks her door. She immediately starts shuffling through her studio in an attempt to find a vase. “I don’t get why you still talk to him. The guy kicks you out of the house, takes away your allowance you depend on--just because he doesn’t want you to do music? The thing he arranged for you to have lessons for in the first place?”

“You’re oversimplifying it.” She rummages through her cupboards. “He wanted me to go to college for a career--I told him I didn’t want to. I said I wanted to be a musician. He said that was fine, I was a young woman who could make her own decisions… And as such, I’d need to do it on my own. I agreed. I don’t want anybody’s money, and he’s helped me enough as it is.”

“... He should still support you--”

“He does. In his own way.” Her eyes light up at what she’s been looking for: the glass beaker for a French press that broke on her a couple weeks ago. She lifts it with one hand and the roses in the other, a silent question toward him. At Ichigo’s shrug/nod combo, she starts filling the beaker with tap water. “Maybe he doesn’t vocally support it. The creative life is scary. You know that. Technically you wouldn’t want your sisters as starving musicians either, right? But a couple months before I met up with you guys, I was behind on my rent. One day, right before I was sure I was going to get kicked out: my landlord says it was all paid for. Just like that. And I’ve sworn every day, up and down, that my brother’s never going to need to do that for me ever again.”

“He should want to do that for you.”

“I think he does. But I want to make my own way, and he knows that. These flowers are more than kind.” She steps back and assesses her flower arrangement in the beaker, nodding once. Good enough. 

He’s uncharacteristically quiet as she grabs the two bottles from her fridge and returns back to the hallway. She’s attempting to lock her front door with the bottles in one arm and keys in the other when he snorts, tapping her wine-carrying arm.

“Here, I’ll take ‘em.” Begrudgingly, she hands them over. “You try to do too much by yourself.” 

“Yes, because I have to.” She focuses her attention back on the lock (the door could be rather tricky) when she feels him nudge her arm again. 

“No. You really don’t.” She looks back and up at him and suddenly for the first time they feel very, very close. “Look I don’t--the fact that your brother doesn’t know what a fucking phenominal talent you have astounds me. But you have people now. You have me.”

Time completely stops as they stare at each other. Rukia feels frozen in place--but Ichigo is… Well. He looks like he’s only sort of embarrassed at own sentiment, judging from the faint blush on his cheeks--but mostly he seems sure of himself, confident and fearless and golden.

That is Ichigo, she realizes. She’s really never met anyone like him. 

She’ll never know what either of them were about to do when suddenly her neighbor’s door swings open behind him. 

The sound jolts them both, and her elderly neighbor smiles apologetically. She waves, and when she looks back at him Ichigo is looking down at his shoes, clearing his throat. 

“Hurry up ‘n lock the door. The others are waiting for us--especially Tatsuki. You know how stoked she was when you told her about the champagne.” 

Rukia nods and tries to shake the odd feeling that an opportunity was just missed. 

---

They’re getting a tour.

Tatsuki is in euphorics. They’re getting a fucking tour. 

Urahara says they’re starting small--mostly because the label wants to test the waters on them. Just four cities, fronting for a rock band called Espada. They’re all kind of douchey assholes but it doesn’t even matter. She knows her band is better, and in just a few years they’ll be begging to front for Karakura Soul Society. 

 Still, even though it’s a small tour Tatsuki manages to sweet talk Urahara into hiring her good friend as their stage manager. “We need somebody to keep us organized back there. Help us sound check and everything, you know? And frankly, Urahara… You’re a mess.”

… It becomes clear to the team within the first ten minutes of her employment that Orihime Inoue is also, as it happens, a disaster--but she’s bubbly and ambitious and works hard and Tatsuki may be not-so-secretly in love with her so of course everyone loves her immediately, too.

Once they’re on the road, the whole tour itself is kind of a blur. Their first city is… Decent. They sound great, but there’s some tech issues that Orihime apologizes profusely for. Grimmjow, the lead singer of Espada says something snide about “fucking yuppies” and Ichigo and Tatsuki both have to be held back from absolutely pulvarizing the cocky motherfucker--but yeah it’s decent.

 At least, Urahara points out, it adds a bit of a competitive edge between the two bands. 

He’s right. The next couple cities they absolutely kill it.

With Chad’s shredding it on his base and Tatsuki  feeling like a God at her drums--the two of them alone would be something to contend with. 

But combined with Ichigo and Rukia…

Tatsuki doesn’t know what’s going on between them, and frankly: she doesn’t care anymore. She’s decided it’s none of her business whether her best friend is getting his brains screwed out or if they really are “just friends,” as Rukia insists. 

What matters is what’s going right here, right in the performance.

As usual, they are so in sync with each other it’s scary--but now, there’s emotion too. There’s an electric energy when they sing the chorus to Fullbringer, a deep melancholy when they harmonize on Masaki. The band is only able to perform about five of their songs, but they’ve arranged the order so the audience gets to go through a journey--and it all ends on Sun and Moon.

It’s easily their best crowd pleaser, and for good reason. 

It sounds cheesy, but there is such an upbeat joy to the song that even scowl-loving Ichigo grins during its entirety, and Rukia--always so poised--bounces at her keyboard, bopping her head to the beat. The bridge is absolutely wild, and the whole thing moves so fast that Tatsuki is going harder at her drums than she ever has. It was a bitch to practice, but man. Man does it it fucking end a show. 

At the end of Espada’s last show, the crowd demands an encore… From their front band. 

“Eat shit,” Grimmjow hisses as they unexpectedly make their way back to the stage, and Tatsuki knows for an asshole like him to be this pissed: it’s a compliment.

---

They’re feeling so pumped about the whole tour that at the end of that encore, even Chad agrees to go out to a nearby pub to celebrate.

The group is on Cloud 9 as they float into the semi-crowded bar, and Tatsuki feels even more of a high when some of the patrons--fresh from the show--cheer as they enter. A guy orders the band shots, and from that point on things get… Uh. Kind of blurry.

Chad does manage to escape early, but not before she challenges him to a game of who can drink a pint faster. Orihime glows next to her as she sips her own fruity cocktail, cheering Tatsuki on in a way that makes her feel powerful even when she loses. Occasionally she catches her friend glancing over at Ichigo with a soft smile that Tatsuki… Doesn’t really want to notice right now. She’s having such a good time, so for what?

 Urahara floats, chuckling behind his fan about this and that--leading to a brief debate between Ichigo and Tatsuki whether he’s high, drunk, or both. Rukia pops up out of nowhere, offering a convincing argument of: neither. Urahara is just fucking batshit. 

Ichigo and Tatsuki stare at the unexpected profanity.

“What?” Rukia’s face is flushed, and she tries (unsuccessfully) to look like she has the decency to be embarrassed. Suddenly, she grins toothily, grabbing Ichigo’s hand and dragging him to the bar corner’s jukebox. “C’mon, idiot. You’re helping me pick out a song.” 

Tatsuki doesn’t pay much more attention to the two after that--she’s too busy getting another drink, getting Orihime another drink, seeing if she can get Urahara to confess he’s committed at least one felony in his lifetime, and if so which one--but she happens to overhear their conversation at one point when they’re getting drinks.

“... Swift is a stellar songwriter, Kurosaki. I’m telling you--”

“Come oooooon--”

“No, you--you come on, Ichigo. Ichigo Kurosaki.” Rukia pokes her finger at Ichigo’s chest, and Tatsuki sees him failing to hide a smile. “She had a… Taylor has iffy periods, of course she does. But have you… Have you even listened to the lyrics of Blank Space?

“Whassat?” 

“You’ve heard that song, don’t you--don’t you even start--”

Tatsuki rolls her eyes and takes her leave. Listening to drunk straight people flirt is excruciating. 

Still: whether it’s from the warm buzz of alcohol or the general high of the good night or her just loving her friends… She’s happy for them. 

When she leaves, Blank Space is blaring from the jukebox. She looks back to see Rukia and Ichigo intimately close. Rukia is beaming up at him, shouting over the music that she can only imagine is the song lyrics. Ichigo’s body is curved toward her, watching and bobbing his head with a soft smile. 

Good for them, Tatsuki thinks dreamily before immediately finding a dumpster to throw up in. 

[deafmatteo]

hi hi so first i really love your writing, it’s so comforting and lovely, and i look forward to every little bit of it!

and idk if you’ve already answered something like this but i was wondering about your thoughts on skam france season 5?

hello, thank u! 🖤🖤🖤

and i have talked a bit about skam france s5 when i was watching it live but im more than happy to talk about it again & put all of my thoughts into one post JFJSJD.

let me just put a disclaimer here for abuse, both personal & what was shown in the season. also adding a read more because this got LONG, i am so sorry. i talk a lot </3 (ignore the spelling errors, i literally woke up and saw this anon and jumped out of bed to answer dflkgjkdlg)

also! i talk about deafness as a disability in this but that’s my own personal experience & what was written into the season. we know arthur sees it as a disability because he was raised in a hearing society as a hearing person. not all D/deaf people believe this!! this isn’t universal.

first things first, i just wanted to let people know these feelings come from a very personal place. i lost my hearing similarly to arthur — i was beaten as a young child and as the years have gone on and i’ve grown, my hearing has gotten worse. i was hard of hearing with mild to moderate hearing loss in both ears and now i call myself deaf because i have severe hearing loss in my left ear & i am completely deaf in my right ear. (don’t worry about being apologetic or anything! i’m very open about how i lost my hearing because although it’s sad & traumatic, it’s talking about how trauma and disabilities are often more intertwined than people realize. you don’t ever see a disabled person thriving in their natural environment. you see traumatized disabled people learning how to survive.)

i don’t have problems with how arthur lost his hearing. i think it’s a very important story to tell & it’s one that does occur — even if people don’t recognize it. it added to the fear and isolation he felt during his season because he was suddenly extremely disconnected from his peers and the people he called his best friends.

i also absolutely ADORE noee and camille. having a Deaf* woman who was as sassy and blunt and straight-forward as she was is a good thing. people often talk about how D/deaf individuals can come across as rude or unattentive or too blunt and it can be true but when people often talk about it, they do it in a rude/offensive manner! noee did it in a manner that wasn’t stereotypical and felt real. she also had the distain towards hearing people because they continually traumatized & belittled her and they showed that in a way that you knew was justified. she had been hurt by these people and she knew what arthur was experiencing, hence why she was so warm around him. having a Deaf love interest who wasn’t a hearing-people pleaser or someone who needed approval from hearing people was so good because it helped add layers of her own identity that the audience may not even realize exists.

camille as well. having a hard of hearing gay (queer? i can’t remember what he labelled himself as) person on screen without fetishism or trauma porn was refreshing. that doesn’t happen and seeing it was?? amazing. he was able to have fun, be himself, etc. also him acting as a connector between noee and arthur is a reality as well. he exists inbetween both of their worlds and while it’s clear that he is comfortable and okay with it, it’s a reality that often stems into feelings of anger and hurt. (as shown in arthur!) it’s good to see a hard of hearing person who doesn’t feel ostracized from the Deaf community & or the hearing community. he’s just vibing!

the isolation that arthur felt. the lonelines, the pain, the fear—all of it is a reality of the situation he was in. even with his friends attempting to support him in the ways they knew how, he still felt alone. having noee and camille there was such a good!! good thing!!! to have. the way noee criticized his friends, the way ARTHUR eventually yelled at them (especially lucas, like wtf was up his ass), the growth of arthur from clinging onto his fantasy world and accepting himself. i geniunely enjoyed these aspects.

NOW ONTO MY CRITICISMS.

my biggest one is the abuse clip. it was absolutely unnecessary for them to include the audio (and the shadowing) of arthur’s violent abuse. i understand they needed to potray his dad’s behaviours but there were many other ways to go about it that doesn’t re-traumatize people. i rarely rarely get triggered by things due to desensitization & repression and this made me extremely nauseous and it caused me to spiral into memories of my own abuse. yes, i understand the story of arthur’s dad being the villain and contributing to the trauma. no, it did not need to be done in this way.

also the way it was brushed aside & arthur forgave him after the car accident. i know it’s contributing to the cycle of abuse and it will continue after the seasons have passed but i think it should have had more fear, confusion or anger. we could see that arthur hated his father, just by how he constantly attempted to fight back and argue. i understand that it was him acting from a place of survival and trying to mediate to make things calmer but this is his perspective—we could have felt the underlying emotions or seen a brief moment where arthur let his anger take over when he was alone. the abuse was written solely for hearing people. it was trauma porn. it was used as a way to make people feel sorry for arthur and to weaken him. it wasn’t written as integrated into the plot as it should have been and was brought up only to deter the plot away from his cheating. it was one of the things that made it clear the plot was more written for hearing people than for deaf people.

(again, it’s not the actual story i’m criticizing. it’s how they integrated it.)

the second was noee using her voice to essentially beg arthur to love her. using her voice was a moment of vulnerability and fear that they could have either: a. used in a different manner or b. not included at ALL. i am an oral deaf person—i was raised in a hearing environment & i went to speech thrapy for many, many years. i use my voice a lot. however, whenever i am without my hearing aid and i am tired, i don’t often use my voice because i am insecure about my deaf accent.

noee doesn’t use her voice at all. she has talked about how using only sign language gives her power and stregethnes her identity in a way that the hearing world would never be able to. it was a pivotal moment of her own identity and growth and they threw it out the window to tell arthur she loved him. he rejected her so she used her voice, something that reminds her of her trauma and pain, to beg him to love her back.

another is how alexia said that she wasn’t wired to love disabled people. i love alexia as well, except for this alone was enough to hurt my opinion of her. it’s a reality of abled people—they often act like loving a disabled person is more work and view disabled people as less than to avoid seeing them as potential lovers/friends/etc. my main problem is the fact it wasn’t ever properly addressed and they used it as a plot device after she had been nothing but loving and supportive to arthur during the beginning of his journey. she was so, so loving and caring and they could have used to as a way to talk about how relationships and perspective changes rather having her just be straight up ableist.

when arthur first got his hearing aids, he got smaller ones that were less visible to avoid having other people see. this is a big example of internalized ableism and is a very important point but they never touched on it again. i think it would have been more personal and monumental of his growth to have him go back & change the hearing aids he uses to better aid him in his day-to-day rather than aid his desire to be hearing-passing. i just wanted to see continuation of this.

the love triangle. ABSOLUTELY USELESS. i love both alexia and noee as love interests. they are well-developed women who both had vulnerable moments in the season where they talked about their insecurities and were vulnerable and still had arthur reject/use them both. this is more of a fandom criticism but the love triangle was used solely to demonize noee while they continued to put arthur on a pedestal. the season could have gone either/or with them as love interests or not at all. the season was meant to focus on his journey as a now disabled person and the love triangle took up a large portion of that.

(don’t think i’ve forgotten about people calling others fatphobic/biphobic for preferring noee as a love interest)

this isn’t entirely a criticism but a good point to note. i don’t think skam france had a plan in regards to season five when they casted arthur but he should have been played by a hard of hearing person and there should have been foreshadowing in the earlier seasons for this. i think arthur’s actor did a fantastic job with the content he was given but it would have been a bit more personal if played by a truly deaf/hoh person. noee’s actress talked about this! she said how good of an opportunity it was for season five to occur because it’s extremely rare for deaf people to get opportunities and casting designed for them. having a main actress talk about this and still having the main actor being abled is a bit? bad taste. i just think it’s a product of lack of planning, is all.

ALSO THE CAR CRASH????? this isn’t a big criticism, i’m just like HUH? me & arthur really out hear being deaf and getting hit by cars ig. arthur kinnie

*definitions that add as to why i use deaf & Deaf in this piece.*

[donaldpepys]

Ser Harys was his wife’s father, and Pycelle could be counted upon as well.

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[scorpiosanssexy]

hey, carla!!! how are u??? i hope u're fine 😊 can i get a haikyuu matchup, if they are still open?? i'm scorpio sun (scorpio gang, yeah), virgo moon, leo rising, scorpio mercury and venus and aquarius mars (i hope it's not too much haha)

i am good thank you darya, just your sun, moon and rising is fine

i match you with Kuroo Tetsurou

star sign: Scorpio

Scorpio Sun: Those with Scorpio sun have a deep rooted loyality to their friends and loved ones and are the people to help others during their darkest days. Kuroo is someone who always gives but ( I feel) never receives, he loves the fact that when his captain duties are all too much he knows that you will be there, waiting with your arms wide open to spend the evening cuddling together and you playing with his hair (which he absolutely adores). Also you always offer the most profound advice ever, sometimes this dork over hear tears up when listening to your speeches (as a scorpio I have a tendancy to talk very philisophically). He thinks you are the most beautiful person ever and (so that you cannot see his tears) he picks you and spins you around. Scorpios are determind and have this hidden ambition in which no one can exactly pin point what it is. Kuroo loves the fact that you have this inner will power but wants to let you know that you are not on this journey alone. When stuff such as school work or pressure get’s tough he takes you out on the most romantic dates, for example he took you on a summer midnight picnic in which he made all the food and it was spent just telling each other dorky jokes, drinking homemade lemomaide and of course some cuddling (not without a tickle fight first). Kuroo thinks you are an inspiration to us all and may or may not quote some of the deep things you say during a team pep talk.

Virgo Moon: People with Virgo moons are the happiest at home in their own skins, especially in regards to a daily routine, for example keeping a daily journal or having a specific skincare routine. This is simply an emotional need for these natives. Kuroo finds it absolutely adorable that you have to do these routines to make you comfortable and will always lightly tease you about this whilst pinching your cheeks (he seems like the type of boyfriend to do this). If you do have a specific skin care routine kuroo is 100% down to do this, he would want you to take pictures of him in full mud mask, dressing gown with a bottle of rose wine. I feel like Kuroo believes these qualties make you really motherly and when he see’s you pottering away his heart swells because he imagines you do some of these actvitites when you move in together and even start a family of your own. Virgo is a sign of service, they have this natural need to nuture themselves and others. Kuroo is somebody who is always giving his all to everyone and I feel never receives the same energy back so when you one day decided to make him and the whole team lunch (because they had been working extremely hard) he had never felt more in love, even if the cooking was terrible, Kuroo always says some cheesy line like it was made from the heart whilst giving you a cheeky kiss on the lip. The Nekoma team always grumble about your cute little PDA acts (but they are just jealous that they do not have a sweet partner making them gorgeous lunches). Finally, Virgo moons are pefectionist at heart and can be very critical on others but mostly on themselves. Kuroo really balances this out for you because he has a very relaxed personna, he hates it when you become too hard on yourself. When you fall into this state, Kuroo just scoops you up into his arms and smothers you in kisses and compliments. By the time he is done, you will feel like the most beautiful person in the world.

Leo Rising: People with this sign on the ascendant in Leo are usually friendly and upbeat, seeing as leo planet ruler is the sun you also have this natural “sparkle” if that makes sense. To say Kuroo falled in love at first sight when you one day asked him to help you with your chemistry homework was an understandment. Baby boy stopped working, he loves how warm and welcome you make every feel and he just kind of basked in your radiance. The team also love your postitive and upbeat attitude, you always cheer for them whenever you go to their matches (wearing kuroo’s jersey of course) and they all love it. Leo risings are known to be very playful and affectionate which is also something Kuroo can definetely enjoy. The amount of “kiss wars” the two of you have had is something the whole nekoma time couldn’t count on their fingers. Sometimes when the pair of you are cuddling he may or may not start a tickle attack on you. Furthermore, Leo risings at the core need to feel loved and accepted and are natural people pleasers otherwise this can affect there self-esteem greatly. As a bit of a lone wolf, Kuroo is your opposite in that respect. He always gives your words of affirmation everyday but not in your typical fashion, would he try anf give you chemisty themed compliments? yes he would, (y/n you are made of fluorine, iodine and neon because you are F-I-Ne). Of course he would give you some “proper” compliments but you may only hear this when you are both having some late night cuddles when he is just surrounded by your warmth and beautiful smile, he cannot help the compliments just tumble out of his lips. Overall you have a fun and playful relationship however there a deeper sides that the world will never get to see but the pair of you cherish very much.

----------------------

hiya darya, I am sorry if i waffle on a bit or repeat some of the same things. I hope you enjoy our fellow scorpio king Kuroo. 

catch up soon!

Carla 

[path-of-my-childhood]

Miss Americana Is A Coming-Of-Age Story, Says Director Lana Wilson

By: Madeline Roth for MTV Date: February 12th 2020

Miss Americana, which premiered last month at Sundance and is now on Netflix, charts the pop star's transformation from a people-pleaser who measured her worth in pats on the head to a 30-year-old woman who's stopped worrying and learned to speak her mind. Wilson told MTV News about the doc:

"When I started, there wasn't a set, 'This is the story,' or anything like that. I just started filming immediately after meeting her and then just filmed, filmed, filmed, and saw what emerged."

Wilson tells MTV News about how Miss Americana is a coming-of-age story, the delicate balance of portraying Swift's romantic relationship, the studio footage she left on the cutting room floor, and the now-infamous "cat backpack."

This film made me really excited to see what kind of artist Taylor Swift is going to be in her 30s, now that she's seemingly more comfortable speaking her mind and isn't as worried about being a quote-unquote "good girl." Do you see it as capturing a turning point in her life? Absolutely. I think it's a coming-of-age story about this woman at a pivot point in her life and career. Taylor went through all of this pain and then stood up and became the person she wanted to be, but didn't have the ability to be for so many years, because of the leash that she put on herself. To be able to take that leash off, I think it's really amazing for people to see that. It's amazing from a documentary director's perspective when you get to go with a subject who really changes in the time that you film with them. That's what I was lucky enough to get to see.

You do get that sense that she doesn't feel the need to constantly reinvent herself anymore. How do you think the film sets a tone or an expectation for her going forward? I think she's always going to artistically challenge herself no matter what. What I saw when I saw her writing songs, and even from the videos of her when she's 11 years old writing her first songs on the guitar, is that she's someone who is always going to write something she hasn't written about before and do something new and experiment. I do think she's more comfortable with who she is now, though. It's about her journey to self-acceptance. She's less focused on being the person other people want her to be and more focused on being the person who she wants to be and who she is.

You definitely saw that throughout the film. At the same time, I loved seeing those moments where she's insecure, like when she finds out that Reputation didn't get nominated for a Grammy or when she's criticizing the way her face looks while shooting the "ME!" video. She even says at one point that she feels like there's a better version of herself out there. Why do you think those moments are important to see as well? I think when you see any insecurity coming out of the mouth of a superstar, that's a really powerful thing. And in fact, how we deal with insecurity is really what defines our strength. Taylor writes so candidly in her lyrics about the hardest times and the times when things didn't go well. That's what her fans love her for. We all want to feel less alone, and that's one reason why people turn to art. It's great for people to see that their heroes are human.

I found it really effective how her ages showed up on screen throughout the film. It really made you realize that she was so young when all of these big, formative life events were happening to her. Why did you decide to highlight her ages like that? That was my editor Greg O'Toole's idea, and I thought it was brilliant. It changes the way you see everything. When we think about Taylor Swift, I think we tend to forget how young she was when she started. You feel that amazement of, "Wow! She was writing those songs at that age?!" But then there's also, "Oh my god, she had to go through that when she was a teenager?!" You see the good things and the hard things at once. It gives context, but it’s also this reminder throughout the film that this is a coming-of-age story.

Totally. When it came to portraying Taylor’s relationship with her boyfriend, that three or so minutes where he's shown backstage and then you see cell phone footage that looks like it was shot by him — I found that particularly moving and a nice way to acknowledge something that is an important part of her life but is also sacred and private. What kind of care went into achieving that balance? It really was a balance. Taylor's had so many relationships go through the public ringer, so it was important to respect her desire to keep her relationship private, while still acknowledging the important role that relationship plays in her life. I remember we had done the first rough cut and we had this whole section of her writing Reputation. She was like, "I do have a few videos on my phone that I think could capture the fact that while I was out of the public eye, it was one of the happiest times of my life." When I saw those videos, I was so moved by them. Especially by her singing "Call It What You Want" when she's in the slippers. I was like, "This is everything. This is all we need to know." It's really special. You don't even have to see her boyfriend's face; you could feel it.

I loved that scene and I loved the song choices in general. "Out Of the Woods," "Getaway Car," "Call It What You Want"... I thought it was really cool how you didn't just use "Shake It Off" and all the big hits. I so appreciate you saying that because not a lot of people have commented on that. I really did not want to do, "here's all of Taylor's greatest hits in the first 10 minutes of the movie," which you often see in this type of project. I wanted to use songs that were emotionally and thematically related to what was going on in the story at that time. With "Getaway Car," it's this moment of total freedom for her in the story of the film. Or "Clean," after the sexual assault trial, for example.

When you're making this kind of film and you're capturing Taylor during such a long stretch of time, how do you know when it's done? What was the moment when you realized you had enough of the story you wanted to tell? My sense was that we had to film through the Lover album release. I think you feel at that point in the film that Taylor isn't as concerned with what people will think of the album. It's more like, it was a joy for her to make and to put out into the world. She went through this period where she went away from the public eye, but she wants to keep entertaining people and making music, and nothing is going to stop her from that. I loved the idea of ending the movie with her walking onstage, and that idea of this bravery she's had since she was 12 years old, of walking out to perform. I wanted to end it with her going back out into the world again to face the public, but you have the sense that something's a little bit different about her now. That's the sense I hope the audience has.

Was there anything you had to leave out of the film that you were particularly bummed about cutting? There was so much more songwriting and recording in the studio. It's so special to see something come from just the seed of an idea - a fragment of a melody or a lyric typed in her phone - and get to then hear it as a finished song. That's some of my favorite stuff in the film, but there was a lot that we had to leave on the cutting room floor, heartbreakingly.

I'd imagine. Do you think that footage will ever be used for anything? I don't know. People have asked me about it, so it's giving me hope that maybe we could just release the 40-minute version of Taylor writing "Only the Young" as a standalone film or something.

Honestly, I would watch. A lot of people would watch! I think a lot of people would.

Last question: How long did it take for Meredith and Olivia to warm up to you? I don't know if they ever did, honestly! They're very cute and they're quite friendly. They're often hiding under things. They just kind of pop out from somewhere, so you do have this feeling of, "There are cats everywhere!"

I loved the screen time they got. Especially the cat backpack. I remember watching the cat backpack scene with one of my editors and I was like, "Is this too long? Are we spending too long on the cat backpack?" He looked at me and he was like, "Definitely not." And he was absolutely right.