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creganofhousestark · 1 year

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(Screenshots because I’m one hundred percent sure i will be blocked for stating facts that go against the op’s headcanons if i were to reblog my opinions under their post and then will proceed to rant away about the eViL aRyA sTaNs whose crime is, well, reading the books, you know?)

So, i had the misfortune of coming across this one post by @agentrouka-blog when i was going through the main tags and, god! The amount of bs i have to wade through in the name of fandom experience is concerning at this point.

Whenever did Sansa cover for Arya? When she was declaring her as a traitor to a bloodthirsty Cersei Lannister that it was her sister with the traitor’s blood and not her after her father’s imprisonment? Or when she threw Arya under the bus at Trident?

“She blames Sansa for things she never did” dude there was never one moment where Arya blamed Sansa for things she never did. Hell, Arya didn’t blame Sansa enough. Guess it’s time to reread AGoT lol. Sansa “it’s your butcher boy’s fault for dying because he attacked the prince” is blameless y’all *mic drop*

“Violently attacks her because that’s her opportunity to blow off steam after a traumatic 4 days” yes because your sister is basically accusing of treason when the reason behind her actions was purely defense. Apparently you must be level headed in the face of your your sister refusing to be honest in a moment when the outcome (which is Mycah living or dying) depends on her word. If Sansa’s really as smart and intelligent as stansas claim then Joffrey’s actions at the Trident should’ve opened her eyes. Ned was the Hand of the King, the King’s BFF. She was under no pressure to maintain diplomacy. Hell, Ned was right by her side, reassuring her and encouraging her to speak her truth. What would’ve happened if she were honest? The betrothal would’ve been called off? Ned would’ve lost his spot at worst? Big loss, the North would have minded it’s own business as usual….and Sansa’s southern dreams would have shattered. In that moment Sansa chose her dreams and fantasies over her sister and remain blind to the kind of a monster Joffrey was.

Moreover, being focused and worried about herself and her desires is not necessarily a flaw, Sansa’s just more human. She’s got five heroes to compete against, which is why she may appear more flawed than Arya. But honestly it’s all subjective. Arya’s character is simply rich and has a hell lot more depth, that’s all.

Mostly Ned’s favouritism BRO NED CHOSE TO GIVE UP THE HONOUR HE VALUED hell he chose a traitor’s death for her and, goddammit there’s not one moment where he favoured one over the other. Do not talk about the damned flowers scene in Sansa I, Ned would’ve grinned and thanked Sansa for the same bleeding flowers. Sansa was just pissed that Ned didn’t reprimand his child for behaving like a typical 9 year old child. Which, nobility or no, is quite common in that society. Hell, we have textual evidence of Catelyn playing with LF and Lysa making mud pies at 12. It’s almost as if Sansa can’t stand anything short of Sansa 2.0 from her sister.

Arya’s miles better. Just ask GRRM. He wrote the books.

Anyways, thanks agentrouka for reminding me how brilliant of a writer George Martin is. The man picked stereotypical heroes and gave their stories not-so-stereotypical twists as their arcs progressed. An exiled powerless princess who earned it all and more through her blood sweat and tears, a non conformist noblewoman who’s gone through an extraordinary number of trials, a powerful noble dwarf unwanted by his own blood, a disabled boy with unparalleled magical potential and a bastard from two powerful, magical families who was practically thrown aside.

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #arya stark #sansa stark #asoiaf fandom discourse #george r r martin

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redux-iterum · 1 year

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I can't stop thinking about rewrite Tigerclaw since the chapter dropped so I'm gonna ramble again

I love how you gave Tigerclaw more depth and a genuine reason for what he has done. In canon, he didn't really have a reason for wanting to be leader other than being a power hungry bastard, but in this rewrite, he believes that if he's in charge, the Clan, at least in his mind, won't be soft anymore.

This beliefs absolutely fascinates me, because... ThunderClan really isn't that soft as he believes. If we look back at the first book, as well the previous chapters of the current book, Tigerclaw's belief is... wrong. When Firepaw fed Yellowfang, the Clan reacted poorly. Another example, Lionface didn't want to help the starving elders from ShadowClan. This is the same cat who also said, "Are you sure about that?" when Fireheart told his sister the deputy wouldn't hurt her. Sure, he was bluffing, but still. There's also the way the Clan reacted to Greystripe's affair- almost everyone turned on him, treating him as though he did something abhorrent.

There's probably other examples, but I can't remember them right now/I'm too lazy to go searching through the previous chapters. What I can say for certain is... really, TC's going "soft" because Fireheart is challenging their views. He's actively spoken out about their beliefs and behaviors when it comes to the Code and breaking those rules. Honestly, I'm surprised he wasn't put on Tigerclaw's "list" at all.

God, I'm just so equally fascinated and disturbed by Tigerclaw's thought process. I could make a whole-ass post on my blog about him.

(Note: I'm so scared and sorry for Fireheart. Imagine discovering your father figure is the mastermind behind recent string of murders and attempted murders in the Clan, all because he believes the Clan has gone soft.)

Can't wait for next week!

I am as excited for next week as you are, my man. This is going to be a blast.

As for Fireheart and Tigerclaw in particular...that's one of the things I really want to talk about, but saying anything while the story is still going would spoil or ruin the last bit of BH. Someone remind me to do my Author's Intent Rant once everything is done and settled.

#ask #thesilliestofgals #i speak #burning hearts ask #spoilers

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nachitoesmuybonito · 2 years

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Okay, so! I don't do stuff like this often because, frankly, I don't like my own writing (story writing, anyway, I'm more or less fine when writing for roleplay; weird, right?). But, I wanted to add a little something for the @lachowedding2023 event, because I love Lacho.

A ton of love goes out to @chocopinda for the absolutely wonderful inspiration and encouragement! No way I could have done this at all without you and your ideas! <3

Questions or comments can be left here or on my other blog @insanityofvaas and you can find the piece (a tiny thing) below.

Cold Feet

It's really happening. This is the day. The wedding. His wedding.

Oh, God.

The thought makes Nacho’s head spin again. How did it come to this? …Okay, no. He obviously knows how he got here. He and Lalo had joked about it one evening while having drinks. It'd been fun. Nothing serious.

Then it came up again, and again.

It became something they talked about more seriously. What it would be like to go through with it. What life would be like. Nothing would change significantly aside from having a title, really. It was still fun. It was like being transported back to childhood, one of those youthful moments where two kids would share their biggest dreams for the future and make a promise that they’d one day come true.

The rest just fell into place.

He and Lalo began planning. Legitimately planning. Where to hold the event. Who they should invite. What to eat. What to wear. The perfect place to have a big party afterward. The honeymoon; that one was more Lalo than him, but that should come as a surprise to no one. Regardless, all of it was meticulously discussed between them down to the finest detail, and then finalized.

Nacho was on board for the whole thing, naturally. Despite how a lot of his friends and his father feel about Lalo, Nacho likes him. He loves him. It’s absolutely true that they had a rough beginning. Nacho has never denied how much he disliked Lalo at the start. He was a Salamanca and every Salamanca prior to him had been bad news, not to mention bad for his health. So, so many days he’d wanted nothing more than Lalo to be gone, be that back to Mexico or, in extreme cases, dead. In his defense, Lalo can be really fucking obnoxious. Nacho still has more days than he can count where, if looks could kill, Lalo would be a distant memory. But you don’t talk about marriage, joking or otherwise, let alone plan a wedding without there being something real. Love.

That’s how it came to this.

Nacho remains in what feels like a deep fog even when it’s time to begin. It’s a strange state of being present, but also completely on auto-pilot. He’s distantly aware of all the people around as he walks down the aisle; those final steps before it’s all said and done. His dad is present. His friends. Lalo’s friends and family, too. Lalo himself is just up ahead, waiting, smiling in that same stupid way that he always does; as confident as ever, as if the world isn’t about to change for them.

The vows follow. Lalo goes first, because of course he would. Nacho keeps his eyes on the older man all the while, yet his mind continues to race. He looks focused despite how badly he wants to turn and run. This feeling has come up several times, the overwhelming urge to just get in his car and go without saying a word. That’s what they call cold feet, right? It’s awful. He counts himself lucky that vows were another thing they discussed at length. If they come up later, his ass is covered.

His turn follows and he prays that he doesn’t look like a deer caught in headlights for several seconds before he begins to speak. More words that he knows by heart, words that he searched the depths of his soul to find. Oddly, with each that passes his lips, he feels some of the apprehension and fear melt away. Each word is another reminder of every single thing that Lalo makes him feel: desired, loved, safe, protected and so much more. Each word, while perhaps not as blatantly, is both a confession and promise that, yes, he feels all of those things for Lalo, too.

Nacho misses the moment that counts the ceremony as finalized, but he doesn’t miss the one where Lalo kisses him. It tells him everything far better than any words: this was the right thing to do. This is where he wants to be. It’s okay to have had cold feet, to have doubted. It’s okay to be afraid, because this is a new chapter of life and new things can be terrifying. Nacho throws his arms around Lalo’s neck and he hopes, maybe he even prays, that the older man can feel every last thing that he’s feeling now.

This was the right thing to do. He’s exactly where he belongs.

–FIN–

#lachowedding2023 #nacho varga #lalo salamanca #better call saul #i hate my writing

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purrplegyuu · 4 months

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Hello! Just wanted to say I love your blog. You inspired meto write my first fanfic ever, but i’m still not confident enough to post it on my acc. Can you please port it? I know it’s not pretty much your style (i can’t write smut yet 😭, makes me feel so weird lol), yet, i would like you to share it. If you don’t want to or if it makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t worry. Thank you so much 😊

____________

Six years. It felt like a lifetime, yet a blink of an eye. Six years of sharing a bed, a life, a last name with Kang Taehyun. Six years of trying. Trying to melt the ice around his heart, trying to be the sunshine he didn't know he craved. But somewhere along the way, my sunshine had dimmed too.

I used to be a kaleidoscope of colors. Clumsy, goofy, my laughter echoing through our small apartment. Now, I was a faded watercolor painting, the vibrancy leached out by the constant winter surrounding me. Taehyun, my stoic, beautiful husband, hadn't meant to do this. His past, a locked vault he guarded fiercely, seeped into our present, chilling the air we breathed.

I tried, oh how I tried, to be his therapist, his cheerleader, his everything. But the weight of his unspoken pain pressed down on me, suffocating my own light. The resentment, a slow, insidious poison, began to cloud my love. "Does he even love me?" the question gnawed at me relentlessly.

Then, one quiet morning, the unthinkable happened. Tears streamed down Taehyun's face, a sight rarer than a summer snowfall, as he spoke. "Seori," his voice rough, a tremor barely contained, "you deserve sunshine. I can't be that for you. Let me go."

The world tilted on its axis. In that moment, the dam holding back my buried emotions burst. Didn't he see how much I loved him? But the words wouldn't come. All I could manage was a choked sob, a silent plea that went unanswered. He left with a final, lingering touch on my cheek, as cold as the goodbye hanging heavy in the air.

The year that followed was a blur of muted grays. The echo of his laughter in our favorite cafe, the scent of his cologne on his side of the bed, everything was a constant reminder of what I'd lost. The resentment had morphed into a crushing loneliness, and a terrible, terrifying truth clawed its way out from the depths of my despair: I did love him. I always had.

One crisp autumn afternoon, I found myself wandering the streets we used to walk hand-in-hand. A familiar figure rounded the corner, his face etched with the same melancholic beauty that had stolen my heart years ago. Taehyun. Time seemed to stand still as our eyes met. A kaleidoscope of emotions flickered across his face – surprise, regret, a flicker of something that might have been hope.

We stood there, a silent conversation passing between us. The years, the unspoken words, the pain, all hung in the air. Then, a single tear escaped his eye, tracing a glistening path down his cheek. It mirrored the tear that escaped mine.

In that shared vulnerability, a fragile bridge began to form. We didn't need grand gestures or apologies. All it took was the quiet ache of unspoken love, a love that had endured the harshest winter, to remind us that maybe, just maybe, we could rebuild our sunshine together. It wouldn't be easy. The past wouldn't disappear. But with each other, hand in trembling hand, we could start painting our own future, a future filled with the vibrant colors of love, trust, and the promise of a new beginning.

______________

Thanks!

(Can i be 🌚 or 🌝 anon?)

My god anonnie this is perfect! I don’t understand why wouldn’t you be confident on it? Of course I’m adding this to my blog. I write smut, but i think my style is actually angst, this kind of angsts.

You should really publish it on your own account, it’s amazing. Can i tag you? Or a nickname at least? This way i won’t feel like I’m stealing your art.

And of course you can be 🌚 anonnie, 🌝 is also available, tell me which are you choosing! Love ya, and don’t forget to tell me how do you want me to tag you or your nickname.

#purrplegyuu #kang taehyun #angst #taehyun angst #txt angst #anonnie’s art🫶#purrplegyuu | 🌝 anonnie<33 #purrplegyuu | 🌚 anonnie<33

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retaurd · 1 year

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advice on how to find god without going to a church? the way you write about seeing god in the small things and the love you have for it sounds so beautiful

also any verses that are particularly comforting ?

hi!! i, like you, have not really been to church, nor have i started now. i don't know if i will ever go or not, i don't even particularly know if im a christian so please bear this in mind. i don't belong to a denomination nor have i studied my Bible to its end (i am trying though, and intend to read other texts as well, im just beginning where it feels like i should begin).

more than anything, for me, i have gratitude. things have come together in a certain way in my life, very very carefully, that for me illustrates a clear path of education through experience, and in such a way that it's also clear to me that im never given anything i am incapable of bearing. so even though i will feel like i am in the depths of stress (like right now for instance), i understand nothing is happening but another tempering. that im being walked with and my hand held. and because ive been so loved, and i really do feel that love there, i feel very humble and small and grateful. i did not feel spirit that way for most of my life but now i am older, i do. i mentioned it before but i realize now in my heart that while i was a very scared child, i was watched over and protected and helped.

so my gratitude kind of bleeds into everything lol. if i have a particularly good piece of fruit or i pray for rain and it comes or even if something fortuitous happens, i thank God and see Him there (keeping note i dont really mentally quantify God as anything but a loving and giving movement, not even anything as direct as a force. i just feel and know It is there like a great big atmosphere). when bad things happen i may not initially recognize the purpose of the experience but i always try to remind myself to see how it can or does benefit me for it to happen. things like losing friendships or health issues or just a day where it feels like i cannot win or succeed anywhere, these feel like education to me. something that is making me better or sharpening my perception and understanding.

that's how i feel and see it. i don't know how you do so im sorry if this isn't helpful 8( i don't know any verses to share but my friend @americanette knows lots and they're wonderful to read if you want to go to her blog and ask, especially regarding what you need comfort for (her brain is soooooo wrinkly). i bet you'll find something there.

#txt #ask #also THANK you for the kind words #i just try to be as grateful and humble as possible

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gintokiu · 1 year

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

love love love getting Tumblr messages, especially if they come from Rena! thank you so much for thinking to tag me and get me back on this ye olde blog. I will do my best to answer since most of my favorites are unfinished and waiting for me to have time to complete them asdfgh anyway, starting from the bottom:

5. Unfinished, unposted work: Worth the Wait

This one is fun because it's something I'm currently working on and I am soo obsessed with it; it's an AU of a fantasy game that I've put way too many hours into recently. I think that the overall premise of the story is something akin to finding things in places that you wouldn't expect them to be, which I always love when it comes to Gintoki and Hijikata, because that's kind of like, their thing? It's set right now to be three or four chapters long and ahh I can't wait for it to be done. I hope, like usual, that the AU doesn't shy people away because they might not know about it/played the game. :') I can't help I only like writing AUs I'm sorry adsfgh

4. Fahrenheit

This story has such humble beginnings and such a warm place in my heart. It was actually the first ginhiji fic I ever wrote and oh god, it was fucking horrible. Rewrote it when I matured more as a writer and am hoping that I figure out where exactly I want this one to end because it's a bit of a toss-up. Right now, I am simply enjoying writing all the modern-day fluff and antics (and sex) until the plot decides to cement itself properly in my brain.

3. Hirudinea

The big one, the one that my brain refuses to write even though I have the plot all there waiting for me to write it. The powerpoint for this story is crazy. I'm looking forward to one day getting to tie this one up with a nice little bow and give it the proper love it deserves, but I want to finish other things first. Forcing myself to write things only ever ends in me hating them and I refuse for that to be the case with this story because there is so much love for it in me and seemingly in the community <3

2. Ninety-Nine and The Flight, the Fall, and the Forsaking of a Crow

There are two for this spot because I can't make up my mind. The Flight is another one with very humble beginnings. I wrote this, god, six or so years ago originally? Rewrote it when I started posting my work and fell in love with the new rendition of it so much. I'm such a sucker for transformations and gaining new understandings of the world, which is exactly what Gintoki gets to go through, which is why it means so much to me. The pacing is there, the emotion is there. Truly one of my favorites of mine that remind myself that I can write sometimes, LOL.

Ninety-nine I love because it is so easy to write. It's the child that never backtalks, never gets in trouble-- it's just golden. The plot for this is fleshed out all the way to the end and the powerpoint is thirty slides longer than Hirudinea's at a whopping 91 slides. It's a beast. I have end chapters completely written, just waiting for the rest of it to catch up. While definitely not my most popular piece, it's the one that I love to work on the most and I hope I can give it the ending that it deserves :') ahhh there's so much I want to say but can't so I'll just leave it here and talk about it later when it gets closer to being complete.

Things That Happen During the In-Between

Certainly did not expect this work to get the recognition that it did when it was posted. When I tell y'all that I hated this story for the longest time because I reread the same scenes fifteen, twenty times over, edited each one at least three or four times super in-depth to the point where it became beyond predictable in my mind. So then I post this, and people are all like "I cried!" I'm like HUH what do you mean you cried? this work sucks?? So then I waited like a month, reread it, and understood that yeah, okay, I actually didn't do that bad of a job with this one. My personal favorite aspect of this story is the characterization, because there are so many parts where I can read through it and say with confidence that that's a very "them" thing to say/do. (I also just love and adore the second movie, it's such a good film and I'm glad that I was able to do it some justice with this story.)

this was such a treat to do, once more thank you @renamusing for tagging me <3 I'll send a few out to some authors who I think are active on my tumblr so if you get one then consider it a little forehead kiss mwha

#ginhijigin #ginhiji #alex talks #im going to be more active on here hopefully #my works

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married-2-the-music · 11 months

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K-pop Discography Deep Dives: Taemin

A Disclaimer: I was planning, when I first started Tumblr, to be a lurker, but then I began an office job and needed something to listen to to keep myself occupied. And then, I started going through entire K-pop groups’ repertoires, album by album, and jotting down my thoughts. And then, I stumbled into K-pop tumblr and decided, you know what, there’s at least four people on this hell site who would read in depth rants about these discographies and at least five who wouldn’t read it and then get mad because it’s kind of our job as K-pop fans. My lukewarm takes should be taken with an entire silo of salt and the knowledge that this is completely for fun and occupying my very bored, very neurodivergent brain. All this to say, for the love of god, I’m a sleep-deprived student and I don’t have time for internet hate, so don’t kill me. With that being said, enjoy!

Here are my credentials: If you couldn’t tell by the blog name, I’m a Shawol (I’ve been one for three years or so, and a casual fan longer), and SHINee are my ult group. I love all of the members’ work, and Taemin is tied for my favorite soloist of the five. As much as I make an attempt to remain unbiased in my reviews, I’m kind of going into this knowing that I’m going to love this discography, and any criticisms I’ll have will likely be very nitpicky because it’s hard for me to be objective. So, that being said, please ignore the fangirl squealing and let’s get into it.

Danger starts with that harsh electro beat and vocalizing, and is actually quite fast in terms of the lead-up to the chorus, especially in the “oneul-bam-i, oneul-bam-i, oneul-bam i (tonight, tonight, tonight)” pre-chorus. The distortion in the post is also interesting to me, because all of this together means that Danger has all the right elements to what have become Taemin’s most enduring hits, but the song itself feels a bit unpolished and rushes to declare itself rather than having the patience of his later work. I do still like it though.

From ACE, my hidden gem is Pretty Boy. The opening horns are a bit grating for me so I admit that I almost skipped it until I read the lyrics (and read that Jonghyun was the writer), and I’m so glad that I didn’t. I love the contrast between the slower verses and what feels like genuine anger in Kai and Taemin’s voices in the chorus, and I just love their voices in general. I’m always up for critiquing the stupid rules of traditional masculinity and especially in a space like k-pop that is so often associated with femininity and fluid gender expression. Sometimes we all need a reminder that being a man does not have to go hand in hand with aggression, cruelty, or a certain way of presentation, and Taemin’s work shows us this in spades.

Drip Drop is a pre-release to the Press It album, and to my surprise, my first thought watching it was that he looked (and even sounded) so much like Jonghyun that it scared me. The song itself does too, being a very controlled, polished R & B sound that isn’t quite Taemin’s signature yet. The song pulses with great energy, but I don’t have much to say about it because it’s so minimalistic that it’s really just a vehicle for the dancing, which is, of course, excellent.

Press Your Number starts with deceptively calm vocals and a soft piano in the verses, before spinning out in a much dancier, much more emotive chorus that immediately had me tapping my foot. From there, the energy never stops, and even the moment you think it will in the bridge, it only does for a split-second before spinning out again. This isn’t one of my favorite title tracks from him, but I do like it, especially the way the bridge repeats again as the outro, which is unusual for a pop song.

Press It, truth be told, is one of my favorite k-pop albums, so it was hard to choose a hidden gem but I eventually landed on Sexuality and Soldier. They’re very different; Sexuality is…well, exactly what it sounds like, and sets the template for many a sensual, dancy Taemin song in its stead. It’s breathier and in a way softer than Press Your Number and Danger, but still has its own drive. Soldier, by contrast, is a full on ballad that would become just another b-side in the hands of a lesser artist, and I (always a fan of artists writing their own songs), think that some of that is due to the genuine emotional weight behind it. The lyrics are beautiful, and Soldier’s also the first song to feature the explicitly religious imagery that becomes a hallmark of his later work (which we’ll discuss in a bit).

Despite the popularity he’d seen before as a member of SHINee, it was really with MOVE that Taemin established himself as a soloist. It’s a song that defines him, and for good reason: it’s unique. From the start, it almost slithers forward with the kind of control that would make a samurai flinch. It’s both smooth and then suddenly sharp and cutting, and you never know which part is next. It’s so tense, and yet it almost feels as though it shouldn’t be, like a suspenseful scene in a thriller with no resolution. In this deep dive, I found myself replaying this song so many times because I just couldn’t figure out how it works so well. All I achieved was loving it more each time, so not a complete failure, I suppose.

I’ve said before that I’m not a choreo blog, but Taemin’s dancing is on another level, and it’s on full display here. If he’s controlled in Drip Drop, then I have no idea what he is here, because when I watch this, it’s like every muscle in his body is committed and yet he’s barely moving, and besides that, so utterly nonchalant. As one review I read put it, “it looks like he has no bones”. I don’t know what makes it so captivating, whether it's charisma, talent, or something else, but while I can’t explain it, I can absolutely give credit where it’s due. The mix of “feminine” and “masculine” dancing styles works so well here, and I love that his intention was to break down barriers in terms of what constitutes what “gender” of dance.

Before I say my hidden gem from the album, a special shout-out to Heart Stop, because Taemin and Seulgi’s voices work so well together, especially in this kind of elegant, dancy R & B (though perhaps I’m biased as a ReVeLuv). My favorite, though, was absolutely Love. From first listen, it drew me in, for both the excellently conveyed emotion and the vocals too. An old singing teacher of mine liked to describe songs like this as though someone is carving out their heart and slamming it on the ground, which feels apt for this one. It’s as though it’s trying so hard to stay calm and composed and then just can’t keep it in anymore. Perfection. I also liked Rise (a soaring piano!) and Back To You (a chill guitar).

Day and Night surprised me, to be honest, because I’m not used to such a calm, acoustic song with Taemin’s voice. It has what I think are some Latin pop influences and they blend to create a very vibe-y, breathy contrast to a great majority of his work. I think it works pretty well, although it still feels more like a b-side than one of his titles. I don’t have a hidden gem for this album, since it’s only a couple tracks.

I don’t normally do this but I wanted to talk for a little bit about Taemin’s Japanese work because he has such an extensive catalogue of it and he’s bilingual (something I’ve attempted to be and failed at for a very long time, lol). Flame Of Love and Sayonara Hitori are similar, working in some more traditional Japanese balladry and drama which works well with Taemin’s voice. He utilizes a different kind of control here, more elegant and graceful than the sharp and cutting side used in his Korean titles. Both are good songs, but I think that Flame Of Love’s instrumentation makes it just a little more excellent.

Under My Skin would have to be my favorite of his Japanese titles, for its expressed vulnerability in reaching out to someone, the contrast of the quiet openness and the soaring vocals, and of course, that great last chorus that pulls it all together. From the Japanese album, just called Taemin, I also loved Holy Water. Its gospel influences and dramatic production mix well with Taemin’s voice and the desperation with which he begs to be cleansed of sins and the guilt of whatever he’s done, and the song has a power reminiscent of Love and Soldier, albeit more forcefully.

Want is more forward and obvious than MOVE, drawing on a synth base rather than R & B, but still keeps the sense of restraint so ubiquitous in his work. I know I’ve used the word “control” a lot in this review, but I don’t know a better one to explain the very delicate balance of sensuality and power in most of these singles. For me, this song is right in the middle of MOVE and Criminal, and though I love it, it doesn’t distinguish itself in the beginning as much. The ending and last chorus especially are great with the clever use of distortion though, and the religious imagery makes a return in red apples, slithering snakes, gates of hell, and the idea of forbidden temptation.

The album has two hidden gems in Shadow and Monologue. Shadow really leans into a feeling of danger that (despite his debut’s name) none of the titles quite have. The danger in them is always teasing and has some level of playfulness, while here it’s taken dead seriously. It's absolutely real, haunting the guilty speaker’s every moment, and he can’t escape. I could absolutely see this with some kind of horror-inspired music video, and it’s a shame that it wasn’t a single.

Monologue is also about haunting, though in a different way. Its almost sparse violin and piano provide the backdrop for a quite painful song about the genuine grief of losing someone, and it’s no wonder that he doesn’t perform it much with all the backstory behind it. Whenever I listen, I always promise myself I’m not going to cry and then we get to “honjanmalppuniya, kkeudopshi” (I’m talking to myself, there’s no end”) and I start bawling like a baby. Like a lot of k-pop fans, I don’t speak fluent Korean (although I do know a little bit), but even before looking up the lyrics, his voice carries so much pain that I felt it hit me in the chest and I had to sit with it for a moment. Given that it was written less than a year after SHINee’s monumental loss, I can’t help but think of that, but no matter what the intention was, the pain is real. Well. I’m gonna go dry my eyes and then we can continue.

2 Kids is a pre-release for the first part of Never Gonna Dance Again, and, as a good pre-release should, it acts as a balance for the title. It feels a bit like one of his b-sides, in terms of the gentler, more nostalgic sound, the vulnerability and genuine apology, and in general how…young it sounds? It’s one of those songs that in and of itself isn’t groundbreaking but the performance given is what elevates it to great, and Taemin, as always, gives one hell of a performance.

Criminal sparkles with the kind of charisma that can only be achieved after so long performing, and is a little different than his previous tracks for the sole reason that for once, he isn’t the agent of seduction himself but instead the one being seduced and, in a way, corrupted. It’s dark and hypnotic, and while the verses are slight, the chorus is incredibly compelling (especially the key change in the last one). The bridge is good too, and the almost frizzy news reports in the background add an extra layer of sound that brings the song from great to almost perfect.

Never Gonna Dance Again; Part 1, is probably the stronger of the two halves of the album. I loved the expansive string section and the many layers of beautiful vocalizing in Black Rose, the ticking clocks and very segmented intonation in Clockwork, and the surprisingly sweet lyrics and brightly rising instrumentation of Just Me and You (which I think was my favorite).

IDEA begins with an almost ethereal, wistful sound, and explores the idea of heaven and hell that he’s played with for a while the most explicitly of any of his titles. There’s white smoke, pale blue skies, cozy sweaters, and blank rooms full of chess boards versus red forests, black suits, and wooden backdrops lit on fire. The song is a slow burn (no pun intended), as the first chorus is very slight but each one after builds and builds until the final one begins to spin out of control. It’s a bizarre structure for a song, but it honestly works quite well.

From the second part of the Never Gonna Dance Again album, it should be no surprise that I loved Be Your Enemy. Wendy’s voice is one of my absolute favorites in k-pop and while Taemin and Seulgi’s match well for the more R & B focused side of his discography, hers and Taemin’s work beautifully together in such a sweet song. The only thing I would change is to add her in more. It’s a very comforting ballad, and feels like a good friend taking your hands and telling you it’ll be okay. Think Of You is also quite sweet, which wasn’t what I expected from such a harsh title, but it’s a pleasant surprise, and I was happy to find that he wrote it and Pansy himself. I also enjoyed I Think It’s Love.

Advice starts with quite a lovely piano and this contrasts nicely with the distortion (which is cleaner than that in Danger). It then devolves into a more hip-hop sound mixed with light electro, which is tied together through Taemin’s voice. I have to confess that I don’t enjoy this song as much as his other singles, because, while it’s a good song, I don’t think that what makes the rest of his discography great (vocals, R & B, drama, etc) is as present here. I do enjoy the lyrics, especially the connection in the choruses with his tattoo (“destroying the torso you were chasing after”)

From Advice (the album), my hidden gem was definitely Sad Kids. It’s similar in terms of vibe, instrumentation, and even title to 2 Kids, but I definitely like this one more. Where 2 Kids is good but not that distinguishable, Sad Kids taps deeply into that nostalgia with its chirping crickets and quiet vocalizations and connects not just to those who have made a mistake and lost someone they love, but any teenager (or even twenty-something) who has ever felt at heart, like they’re “just sad kids, getting lost.” I also enjoyed hearing Taeyeon and Taemin’s voices together in If I Could Tell You; they make such a lovely combination.

Guilty just came out this morning, to much excitement from both me and other fans whose standards are high after a two-year-long hiatus for mandatory military service. But the moment we get to the creeping falsetto and the atmospheric violins of the beginning of the first verse, my worries were assuaged. Like the best of his work, that control is so evident, but here he it feels like it’s being wrestled from him just a little bit more as the song goes on. I love the creepy chanting under the pre-chorus and that explosion in the bridge and last chorus was perfection and I couldn’t have asked for a better catharsis. That choreography is both so stunning and so unsettling, the way it contorts and mimics puppetry. I can’t decide on which interpretation I agree with; there’s cases to be made for abuse (“make you addicted, you can’t tell pain from love”), military service (“walk like this, talk like this, play like this”), or queerness (“loving you’s a crime”), although I have no idea what the intention was. tried to keep my expectations low but let’s be real, I didn’t. And he totally delivered! The more I listen to this, the more I love it, and it’s honestly one of my favorites of his.

Although I haven’t had time to listen more than a couple times, my hidden gem from the EP is probably either She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not or Blue. The former has a great mix of melodic chanting, some vulnerability (and gasp! even a bit of sing talk), and the latter is so peaceful and dreamy that it feels like floating, and it makes a great album closer.

As always, I’m glad I did this! It didn’t change my mind since I don’t really think I could be a bigger fan of SHINee, but I definitely found some new b-sides to enjoy and I’m having a good time listening to his interviews today. I’d say Taemin’s right up there with Sunmi in terms of my favorite soloists. And I’d also say that after listening to all of that I need to bathe in some holy water, stat.

My Top 5 songs are Move, Under My Skin, Monologue, Pretty Boy, and Criminal, with Shadow and Guilty as honorable mentions. Taemin gets a 9.25 out of 10 from me, no surprise there. I’ve never claimed not to be biased here, so there you go. I had a lot of fun and, as if I haven’t been enough of a sap in my reviews so far, this made me even more grateful that he’s back home. For the next two weeks, we’ll be having another longer one broken into parts with two shorter supplementals, which wasn’t originally the plan but someone’s making a comeback very soon and I got so excited that I decided “screw it, I’ve got to write about this”.

So, I’ll see you next time, for a Leviathan of a girl group. Tschüss!

#k-pop #review #k pop boy groups #kpop soloist #taemin #Lee Taemin #music #singer #K-pop deep dive #Spotify

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chronicallyonlinecath · 2 years

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Friday, January 6th 2023 - A New Start

Yesterday I turned 16.

That's a big number. Means I can get married with my parents permission, have children, move out. Still can't vote for another two years though.

My name is Cath Morrison. There are a lot of things you are yet to, and may never, learn.

In October of 2021, I started writing a diary. I wrote one and a half notebook's worth. However, as life does, my life changed. People left. People arrived. And I am a very different person now to the person I am then. So today's blog is a dedicated background for all that will be coming in the next blogs. An understanding for you, avid reader, so you understand why certain things are the way they are. All of these people I write about are real. These are my real experiences, my opinions, and my life, poured out into a blog. Everyone is under code-names, myself included. But we are very real people. In October of 2021, I was dating a boy named Sheldon. He was kind to me. But he was jealous, easily jealous, and believed I was cheating on him at all times. And I suppose, somewhere deep in my heart, I was. In that October, something in my life switched. Something that will never return to its original form, and I will never have it again. I fell in love with my best friend. I left Sheldon in the dust. Don't worry, he's okay now, I've made sure of that. I rebuilt my friendship with him, and he even brought me a bracelet yesterday for my 16th. I left him for a boy named Mattson. A boy with icy blue eyes that sometimes melted to water, and hair the colour of snow. As soft as snow, too. He was my best friend. Dirty-minded, with a wicked grin whenever he knew he was sending me deep into the depth of silent fury. He drove me insane, but made life feel so much lighter. His best friend (and one of my closest friends), Harvey, was dating my best friend, Alison. We were the square, equal to each other, seemingly unbreakable. You know where this story goes. We were 14. It was never going to last. Mattson broke up with me in March. He said we could be friends, but even now, after what feels like a decade, we are simply acquaintances. His eyes turned to ice. I haven't seen them shine or melt to water since. Alison and Harvey broke up in July, but they're still incredibly close. I wrote in the notepads as Cath Morrison as if I were writing notes to Mattson. But that age has been and gone. I told you earlier, I've changed. I have an endless list of friends, but honorable mentions must be included. Friends who have helped me become a better and newer person, who have made me the person who sits typing this. Have a couple introductions. You might need them later- Alison - My best friend, reminding me I have never needed partners to thrive, extremely big music nerd Bella - A constant, loud and funny figure since primary, whose doodles through tutor make it jst so much more bearable. Who is always available to just be nice. Teachers hate her though Carter - Will definitely stalk you and murder you in your sleep. But it's okay!! Because it'll be over very quickly <33 (they're nice thought, i promise. And brutally honest with their opinions) Harry - An egotistical asshole who would like to be President of the World. Only slightly kidding, he's okay. Sometimes. Ryder - Small, nimble and seemingly murderous, he may hurt you, but only if you hurt him (or Winchester. Never hurt Winch.) Winchester - Same as Ryder. Pretty much. But the sociable of the two. Harvey - Stereotypical nerd, minus the glasses. And very much enjoys rugby. Matty - An artistic and chaotic bean. Has a type. A very specific type. In fictional men in suits and ties. And Harley. Harley - Climbs through science windows, collects pringle cans, says the most random of shit, and is definitely kinda into Matty.

and well...

Andrew.

Not Tate, no no god no. Andrew Edwards. A dirty-minded, talkative, comedic dumbass. Too bad I can't stop thinking about him recently. It's like a plague.

My life is centered around romance, unfortunately. It's an issue. But I shall write like the keen little scribe I am and just inform you, day by day, (no promise of daily updates though), of my life.

Enjoy the ride.

~CM

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uselesslesbiab · 2 years

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Shoutout to people who go through my blog and like my old posts because then I get a notification and get reminded of my old stuff and it makes me happy but ALSO because I’ve been looking for my in depth analysis post about why I hate sounao and someone liked it so I was finally able to find it thank god

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dannythedog · 2 years

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I posted 8,619 times in 2022

That's 2,860 more posts than 2021!

6,895 posts created (80%)

1,724 posts reblogged (20%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dannythedog

@cal-a-bungaa

@gretasmokerising

@tlexx

@jackiidk

I tagged 7,231 of my posts in 2022

Only 16% of my posts had no tags

#greta van fleet - 4,854 posts

#gvf - 4,846 posts

#my asks - 4,437 posts

#sammy kiszka - 1,691 posts

#sammy gvf - 1,691 posts

#sam gvf - 1,690 posts

#sam kiszka - 1,684 posts

#josh gvf - 1,166 posts

#josh kiszka - 1,165 posts

#jake gvf - 1,057 posts

Longest Tag: 115 characters

#if you ‘interview’ them and decide not to realease it then that’s just you using your job to have a facetime w them

My Top Posts in 2022:

See the full post

287 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

Here’s a good reminder for the terfs/transphobes that like to try and infiltrate our fandom.

304 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

Support - Josh Kiszka x Reader

Synopsis: Josh upsets reader and doesn't realize how bad it is until he thinks it's too late.

Warnings: general angst, swearing, mentions of the pandemic, money talk

Masterlist

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Let me know if you want to be added/removed from my tag list!!

Thank you to @cal-a-bungaa for reading it over

Josh had been distant lately. Sometimes he'd overwork himself and draw away from you, but he always bounced back within the week. This was different. He'd come home late or sometimes not at all, no texts or calls to warn you. You had slept on the couch that first week waiting for him, but even if he did come home he didn't bother to wake you.

Week two is when you started to worry. Had he gotten himself into some sort of trouble? Was he sick or fighting with his brothers? You didn't want to assume the worst because this was Josh you were talking about. Your personal ball of sunshine. The minimal contact started to draw the doubts from the depth of your mind. Maybe that ball of sunshine was burning out.

Halfway through week three you decided to confront him. You couldn't take the unusual silence anymore. The veil he had put up between you two was beginning to be too opaque - you couldn't read him.

He was up before the sun, trying to sneak away from you to go to the studio or god knows where. "Josh?" you called out quietly, stopping him in his tracks. He hummed in acknowledgement but didn't turn to face you. "Where are you going?"

"Studio. Where else?" he said sharply, evidently already over this conversation.

You prop yourself on your elbow, squinting at him through the dark. "Are you okay? It's like you're not here."

"What is that supposed to mean?" he snaps and finally faces you for the first time in weeks. It's dark, but you can see his sour expression clearly. You'd hit an exposed nerve.

"Well, you're never home and when you are you come home late. I just wanted-"

"That's because I have a fucking job and don't just sit on my ass all day. Why do you always do this? I can't spend any extra time on my music because I have to be home when you want. I don't have time for your childish bullshit, y/n. I have an album to write and if it doesn't get done I can't afford to pay the bills. The bills we're supposed to be sharing. Hell, I hardly even live here anymore so they're more your bills than anything! Get off your ass and do something productive today," he spits and slams the bedroom door behind him.

You sit in stunned silence trying to process his words. You had lost your job because of the pandemic and it wasn't easy finding another one at the moment. At least a job that matched your last one. Josh insisted it was okay when you got laid off and didn't want you touching your savings, so he took care of everything. You felt guilty about it and he knew it.

You tried to calm the tears that welled in your eyes, but shame flooded your chest. You felt horrible and like an exploiter. His money was never something that drew you in and you always insisted on equality in the relationship, but Josh showed you how he truly felt about the situation.

Josh's words echoed in your mind as you pulled yourself out of bed. Get off your ass and do something productive today. You looked around the bedroom thinking of cleaning the house, but it was already spotless. Cleaning the house wouldn't be good enough for Josh anyways, so you hauled yourself into the shower. I hardly even live here anymore so they're more your bills than anything! Your gut wrenched at those words, forcing you out of the shower quickly. The combination of steam in the air and Josh's expressions made it feel like you were choking. You had to get out of the house.

Dressing quickly and grabbing your keys, you stumbled out of the house and tried to admire the rising sun. It only reminded you of Josh. Your eyes took in everything as you walked, desperate to find a distraction. A beaten up ATM caught your eye and that gave you the guidance you needed. You slipped your card in and blew out a harsh breath.

Checking: $159.54

Savings: $400.00

A sharp shudder coursed through your body as shame washed over you again. You withdrew everything in your savings and pocketed it. While turning on your heel to head home, a poster caught your eye. EMPLOYEES WANTED!! A sigh bubbled through your throat and you took a number from the flyer before heading off towards your house.

The kitchen was the first place Josh went when he returned home, so you stuffed and envelope full of your savings and set it on the counter for him with a note. After a quick change you set off again, on the hunt for any sort of job that would take you.

Josh had been feeling awful at the studio all day. He was beyond overworked so he decided to take the rest of the day off around lunch. He had hoped you made food since he didn't bring anything with him to work, but was disappointed when he was met with a dark and quiet house.

"Y/n?" He calls and makes his way to the kitchen. "Are you eating soon? I'm hungry." His frown deepens when there's no response. His eyes drift around the kitchen trying to find any sign of you when he sees the envelope with his name on it. He picks it up and recognizes your handwriting right away.

Josh,

I know this isn't nearly enough to help cover my portion, but this is all I have right now. I'll get as much to you as I can. I'm sorry for not helping out around here, I just wanted to try and find a job that was just as good as my old one. You'll get the rest as soon as I can get my hands on it. I'm sorry for adding extra stress on you. It won't happen again.

See the full post

351 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

See the full post

375 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

They better start letting young women get hysterectomies if they’re going to ban abortion. None of that “you might want kids” bullshit. If you’re outlawing abortion and men can still get vasectomies, let women get this procedure.

11,580 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false

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starryeyedrogue · 2 years

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good evening, all!

This’ll be a long post. Please stay.

I wasn’t going to post this, but I feel like I should. Tonight’s events (scroll down my blog for a bit. You’ll know it when you see it) have triggered something in me; I’ll probably be posting things like this for a while. However, I won’t apologize for it. I don’t care if I lose followers or get hate, it makes absolutely no difference to me.

To start, I’ll explain a few things about my daily habit. I read the Bible every single day, no matter what. However, I tend to do so before bed (which is admittedly far later than it should be), so I usually read in the dark. The font of my physical Bible is a bit too small for my poor vision, so I use an app. This app, simply called “The Bible,” allows you to set up “plans” and study Scriptures based on what you need (i.e. comfort, anger management, etc etc). The one I’m on now takes me through the Bible in a year and selects random passages for each day, usually 4-5 chapters. I don’t pick what I read for that day/night, it does it for me. Keep this in mind. Now that that’s out of the way: in the years that I’ve kept this habit, I’ve noticed some strange things. When I needed to hear about what’ll happen in the End Times, I was given Revelation and Timothy. When I needed hope, I was given Psalms (my favorites, specifically). The list goes on. Tonight, I was given Peter. The specific passages (3:1-14) were about the suffering Christians will face. I did not plan this. Admittedly, when I opened the app to read, I was absolutely filled with rage at the injustices I’ve seen tonight. I’m not proud of my anger, but it happened.

Anyway, here’s the important bit: reading those passages reminded me that this is to be expected. My fellow Christians -- past and present -- have suffered far worse, but it’s still hard to deal with calmly. I’m sure non-Christians are wondering why we (as Christians) choose to believe and partake in a religion where we are to suffer and struggle. Here’s the thing: we’ll suffer here on Earth because, well, we aren’t made for it! We aren’t supposed to do well here. As my pastor always says, we are to be more like the Creator (God, whose only Son suffered here) than the creature (Satan). That makes us stick out. We behave differently than everyone else (or rather, we’re supposed to) and are usually punished for it. But why do we put up with it? Because we are to be rewarded in Heaven for our efforts. Not only that, but we have eternal hope! God will always be here for us, no matter what. No matter what we do or say, He’ll be there. He loves us so much. He gave His only Son to die in our place, and that’s not even scratching the surface of how much He loves us! As humans, we’ll likely never understand the depth of His love. But once we get to Heaven, we’ll see it and experience it face-to-face. Death doesn’t scare us because we know we’re winning, essentially -- we get to be with our Lord 24/7 for all of eternity! No more disease, suffering, pain, not even a single tear will fall while we’re there. Not to mention the fact that we get to see our loved ones who went to Heaven again, including ones we never met! My stillborn siblings will be there. My grandfather. I have plenty of testimonies that I will likely share tomorrow (whether y’all want them or not lol), but for now, I’m going to pray and go to bed. I’m not sure if any of this will even make sense or even touch any non-Christian hearts, but I pray that it does, even in my messy, poorly-worded, overly-passionate wording. Goodnight, y’all. I truly hope you all come to the Lord and I get to see you in Heaven someday. <3

#roguespeaks #it's 12:30 and i have lots more to say but I want to pray and sleep #I'll explain more tomorrow!!#Christianity

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jaiafilyani · 2 years

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I posted 155 times in 2022

20 posts created (13%)

135 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@daughterofthesettingsun

@fierysword

@venusinkatabasis

@immoderateheart

@heavenly2008

I tagged 23 of my posts in 2022

#filianism - 22 posts

#deanism - 21 posts

#dea - 18 posts

#spirituality - 17 posts

#goddess - 16 posts

#god - 15 posts

#filianic - 12 posts

#religion - 11 posts

#deanic - 11 posts

#god the mother - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 47 characters

#the divine feminine is real and it's everything

My Top Posts in 2022:

I don’t say things like this often, but this is a book I think everyone should read!

It has inspired me to make my first (authentic to me) altar. Women have created our own seperate space vía home altars for millennia…In pre-historical times we see evidence of this, we see it all over the world stretching back into the inky depths of time…Whether in highly patriarchal Ancient Greece making their hestia the center of their home, Mexican mothers passing their devotion to Mother Mary / Mary of Guadalupe via home altars, Hindu women creating gorgeous home altars for Durga or Kali or any of the numerous Hindu deities, whether she be a devotee of Guan Yin, or of Yoruba…Women create true religious life by blending the religious with the mundane, by creating sacred womens cultures formed around home altars, by creating power denied via patriarchal religion through home altars…It’s divine.

Quotes:

“I ventured to ask Virginia why she kept an altar at home, she simply replied that it was a “beautiful necessity.”

“…historically it has always been women who are more likely to keep or reinvigorate old practices alongside the new, which are usually a result of male-determined war, conquest, or ideological transformations.”

“the altar is…The meeting place of the sacred and the mundane, the parenthesis between the two worlds…where communication with the ineffable is possible…altars are very important tools used for facilitating the interweaving of the two worlds.”

“For a woman, keeping an altar is a distinctly personal assumption of relationship with divine ally’s in whatever form they take for her.”

“For Wiccans, the altar is foremost a setting for the tools that are ritually used to invoke blessing and change…For many, the women’s altar is itself a sign of religious immanence by virtue of its ancient emergence from the natural world [explanation of first altars being piles of stones, etc]…Other women adopt the altar as a source of their own self-nurturance…As a mirror of self-reflection, growth, and change, the altar becomes a site where women claim and exercise an unencumbered sense of their own spiritual effectiveness.”

25 notes - Posted September 20, 2022

❤️🌸More memes…Amadea! 🌸❤️

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25 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

In light of the filianicstudies website going down, I’m posting download links Dea called me to put on zLibrary awhile ago…I didn’t get why it mattered because the site was up then but now I’m so thankful. Praise Dea. Here are the PDFs to the Clear Recital and the Madrian Orders 1 + 2

And here’s a pdf to the critical apparatus provided a lovely friend of mine.

29 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

New daily ritual dropped! 🌹 If you connect strongly to Green Tara like me, this is a great practice. If you don’t it can pretty easily be adapted.

💗 I associate Her with the quote ‘She will save every being, down to the last blade of grass’.

💗 I pick up a piece of grass early in the day (if I have to pluck it I say thank you to Sister Earth)

💗 When I see the blade of grass I carry around, I say her mantra of Om Ture Tutarre Ture Soha in my head or aloud if I can. Im reminded of how she is so caring and will save every living creature and gain comfort from it. I also try to embody that attitude as I can (usually just basic kindness to others, you don’t gotta save the world here)

💗 I do this throughout the day. I find that it puts me in a meditative mood and has made me spontaneously sit down outside to say Her mantra

💗keep doing it. I’m thinking of getting a glass jar and every day putting my piece of grass in, perhaps as I pray then reflect on the day. Might add journaling.

My counselor helped me come up with this but it makes for great devotional practice (that’s what I use it for, as well as to keep myself calm). Enjoy 😌 If you adapt it for a Janya, Dea, or goddess then please reblog with your addition! 👀

43 notes - Posted March 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I’m a bit obsessed with this goddess I just discovered! She covers the domain of sewers, drains, and purification - a goddess explicitly connected to feces and everything nasty & helping society thrive by diverting it. She was later assimilated into VENUS! It feels very raw. We can sometimes make goddesses so pure, I feel like the symbolism in such a down to earth goddess is so incredible! In an odd way, she reminds me of a nastier version of Mary, Untier of Knots!

I also feel She’s an excellent representation of the Daughter, helping us all in her role as savioress. As well as Her role as Priestess, in transmuting energy and changing situations.

47 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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10000-paper-nohara-rins · 3 months

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Ok okie okay OK..... MANY questions for you if that's alright, because I've recently seen your blog and your view of Rin as a character is very intriguing to me. It reminds me of the depth tora-the-cat here on Tumblr gives to Sakura, and I mean that as a high compliment! So without further ado: 1. Do you have any idea what caused this gaping void in Rin and whether she was born that way or made? 2. How much of everything about her is artificial? Does she kinda view herself in the sense that she's like a character in a book-- that she always has an ever-present audience viewing her, even when alone ala Margaret Atwood, except instead of the voyeuristic gaze of a man in a woman viewing herself, it's the voyeuristic gaze of humankind in one she watches instead? 3. Why does she try so hard to play a person when so much of it seems like drudgery to her? Is it out of a fear of consequences, because it's a game everyone plays but she wants 1st place, or is it just that she has nothing better to do/no strong whims to propel her in a solid direction? 4. Do you think she and Kabuto, (my personal blorbo), would study each other like bacteria in a petri dish or repel each other like magnets, had they known the other existed? (They seem to have A LOT of similarities but their cores feel very different to me...) 5. Why does she get so angry when people remember her? Is it that she's remembered incorrectly or the idea she's remembered at all that upsets her? If it's the former, does she hope someone can see through her facade and find the "real" Rin? 6. What's her philosophy on life? 7. Does she have opinions on both White Zetsu(s)/Black Zetsu and vice versa? If yes, what are they? Depending on the AU Kaguya would likely keep both groups around the same time she keeps Rin, so what in god's name is going on there???? 8. Do Kaguya and Rin keep Toneri as a pet?

And I've got more but this thing's long enough so I'll save those for later; thank you for your time! :>

kicking my feet twirling my hair ect ect. oh anon i am SO glad you asked

1- rin's apathy is made of a lot of different things mixing together. some of it is innate; she genuinely doesn't care about a lot of things that most people would. she doesn't get the same fulfillment out of doing things that most people do. however, in a world where she wasn't forced to be child soldier, she probably wouldn't have fallen into quite as extreme a mindset. a lot of the apathy is a (bad) coping mechanism that builds on traits she is already predisposed to. so... both, i guess? rin is already kind of apathetic and empty, and then work as a ninja causes her to use the apathy as a shield.

2- rin doesn't really see herself as a character, per say- it's more that she views the *facade* she puts up as a character. "rin" as everyone else sees her is an artificial construction that rin is able to control, which is really important to her. she doesnt view herself as a character, but she does view the persona she puts up as a character, if that makes sense. she puts a distance between herself and the people she's acting for.

in regards to the sincerity of her actions; well, rin kind of thinks that if she chooses to do something, that negates the intent behind it. which... is arguable, to an extent, but also ultimately untrue. when he's teaching his own team 7, kakashi hides behind a mask of a lazy troll- but he also *is* a lazy troll. the fact that he's using those traits to divert attention away from other traits doesn't negate the honesty of them. to rin, though, even if she *would* do some of the things she does if she wasn't playing the role of "rin", the fact that she is choosing to do them to project a specific image invalidates them. there's a lot of things that she does that she doesn't mean at all, too, but to rin those aren't any different to the things she only sort of means. lmao. there is something so wrong with her <3

3- the facade started as a way to avoid judgement, yeah. rin's mannerisms when she's not masking are unnerving to a lot of people. as time went by, though, she got Weirder about it and started keeping up the persona because she doesn't know who she is without it, and is terrified that she doesn't know. this creates a really weird mindset where rin ends up stuck playing her facade because she's scared of putting it down, but also she hates it and wants an excuse to drop it, but also she hates everyone around her and doesn't want them to figure out that she's been deceiving them, but also she's mad that they're falling for her persona. truly she contains multitudes

4- never considered it before but. oh god. bro. you are on to something. im hardly a kabuto expert, but from what i understand, he is also a big 'putting on masks' person so. 👀 . i think that kabuto has a lot more internal drive than rin, and even if he hasn't exactly ironed out every kink in his plan, he knows that he wants SOMETHING!!! honestly now that you've brought it up i can't stop thinking about the parallels... kabuto disregarding the fact that he isn't sure exactly what he wants and focusing on acting because there is SOMETHING that he wants, and he can't have it unless he acts vs rin hyper-focusing on the fact that she isn't perfectly sure what exactly it is that she wants and letting her masks drag her down. autism to autism communication.

5- 👉👈 if i said "a little bit of both its kind of complicated" again would you be mad lol

so, yeah, the idea of people remembering her facade instead of her is absolutely sickening to her. rin really, really, really wants to be known, but she can't *let* people know her until she knows herself, and also she would rather die than take of her mask. people remembering her persona instead of her is basically proof that she failed, that she never understood who she was, and was therefore never able to share that understanding with others. yes that's what happened in canon lmao.

HOWEVER. even if someone did come around and understand rin beyond the mask she puts on, rin wouldn't want to be remembered after she dies. to rin, grief is... unnecessary? like, when faced with a problem, rin likes to Fix It. if there's no solution, or if the solution is more effort than it's really worth, she will simply choose to stop caring (oh yeah there's that emotional disassociation). anyways, that's a *very* unhealthy mindset to have, and also is the cause of a lot of resentment between rin and people who she might have otherwise come to befriend, even if it is kind of out of a place of care (she doesn't want people to keep hitting a wall they have no way of climbing).

tldr: she doesn't want people to remember her facade because she hates that thang. she doesn't want people to remember *her* because she doesn't want them to be sad when repressing their emotions is an option and its sooo easy too

6- big question,,, honestly, a lot of the way i characterize her revolves around the way she *can't* answer that question. i think that in canon, she never really develops any philosophy towards anything. in aus where she lives longer, i can definitely see her leaning towards a utilitarian viewpoint- being able to recognize that not feeling the "right" emotions behind an action doesn't negate the action would go a long way for her mental health lol.

7- rin doesn't really have strong feelings on either of the zestu. black zestu is... kaguya's will, right? which is not something that makes sense to me at all and it probably never will but you know. you know. i guess she'd probably view him as something similar to one of kaugya's shadow clones? the white zestu are mostly just old, chewed up corpses and if there is one thing about rin to remember it is that she does NOT want to be remembered after she dies. so of course she will be extending this same courtesy to others. they're just tools to her, because thinking of them any other way would be *disrespectful* (she has problems)

8- you know i've never really given much thought to toneri (i had to google him to remember who he was lol). he seems lonely. a bit of a silly little hypocrite which is admittedly a great kind of guy. apparently he shows up in boruto too but i haven't read it so idk if anything changes there. depending on his attitude towards them, i certainly think they could be convinced to let him hang around. if he's nice i think kaguya would treat him like an annoying little cousin more than a grandkid of anything, and if he's rude i think she beats him to death with hammers. i don't think rin would have very strong feelings on him? maybe she'd be a little pissed at the way he idolizes hinata on account of her knee-jerk reaction to anyone (besides her) failing to treat anyone as human and nothing more or less, but in any au where kagurin are just chilling hinata's probably dead lmao so im not sure how that'd affect things.

this got long but its fine aljfghsdajkgkjdkg. thank you so much for the questions, they were actually really compelling!!

#rin nohara #also if you have any other ideas on how she and kabuto would interact you should lmk :3 #i dont understand him all that well yet. but i will begin my studies. because of the parallels o7 #asks

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