HI i just finished reading the comic and it's so so incredible!!!! your art is gorgeous and your work with the story is completely unmatched <3
I've been listening to the song Butcher Vanity by Vane Lily a lot and it strikes me as a Deepdark song!
Thank you! I'm so glad you like the comic. I agree, Deepdark's desire to kill and eat and never stop consuming is what defines him. I'll use the chance to share a PMV by my pal Katti, the creator of The Exiled comic who made a really excellent PMV with the song :)
I think someone else had the same idea as well, it looks like it's already been suggested before :) but yes it does fit very well! Any song about a land/town/etc that's been cursed and rotten forever works great.
Tell me now of the very soul that look alike, look alike
Do you know the stranglehold covering their eyes?
If I call on every soul in the land, on the moon
Tell me if I'll ever know a blessing in disguise
The curse ruled from the underground, down by the shore
And their hope grew with a hunger to live unlike before
I never knew this song was from the Justice League movie?? Wow, that's wild. It is a good song for PATFW as a whole.
Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows
I have! In fact, the song "Hellfire" is the character theme song for Cootstorm. I made a drawing of it awhile ago.
Did you know that in fact someone made an animated video with Rainhaze to this very song? It's really cool, you should check it out!
Yeah, it's pretty Rainhaze! Especially in his post-Asphodelpaw murder manic phase.
If you knew what I knew, if you saw what I see
You’d look through illusions, hallucinations, and lucid dream
And I know that meaning can be such a pretty thing to keep
But I got facts and I’m not afraid to use ‘em, take the good with the bad, take off the back you make a new front
Some days I'm glad that I am a madman and I’d rather be that than
An amicable animal, mild-mannered cannibal
Aww wait :(
Looks like the cat did a number on you
Vienna, oh
He took a brick off the side of the stoop
Poor vienna
It'll be over soon
Your mamas waiting for ya
But you're not coming home
Your mamas been so worried
Cause you never came home
Beneath the ground you're buried
In memoriam
Yes I think it could be! Even more, I think it's exemplary of Deepdark's general charisma and desire to recruit people into Defiance, reminiscent of his speech from Issue 28.
You and me should go outside
And beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em
All pathetic flag waving ignorant geeks
And we'll eat 'em, eat 'em, eat 'em, eat 'em, eat 'em
Come join the cause, come join the cause
Who wants to come with me and come join the cause?
Hide in the sky, hide in the sky
Who wants to come with me and hide in the sky?
Oh, my mom loves this album, I grew up listening to it. This does remind me a bit of them, how sweet and sad.
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize?
What a unique take on their relationship! I do like the theme of Ranger guiding Rainhaze's hand, and the parent-child energy is very interesting for them. Interesting take on Mordred, for that matter.
Guileless Son, I'll shape your belief
And you'll always know that your father's a thief
And you won't understand the cause of your grief
But you'll always follow the voices beneath
Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty
Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty only to me
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Hello! This is me! 𝕪/𝕟 𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕟! This is my tumblr in case you don't know me i have a youtube channel which I upload texting stories videos to it! And this is my first post here in tumblr (original)
Some male Hashiras + kagaya reaction to you sacrificing yourself for them
⚠ Warning : spoiler in kyojuro and kagaya, take of death, blood, injuries, crying, some of them are really short
Giyu Tomioka
You and Giyuu were fighting against 2 demons who used a blood demon art
You killed one and Giyuu killed the other one
Or so you both thought...
"You did well giyuu_san!" You said smilling putting your sword in place
While giyuu just nodded humming as a silent 'thank you'
This only made you smile even wider. You've been friends with giyuu with great amount of time now
You both actually gets along very well Despite your different personalities
So you got used to his comforting quiet gesture
"All right! Let's head back n-"
You suddenly stopped sensing that something is wrong While giyuu looked at you wondering why you fell silent so suddenly
"Wh-"
You breathed in sharply, catching a glint in the air watching it whizz towards Giyuu.
"not on my watch!"
You yelled, quickly drawing your sword breaking the unknown object in half.
Giyuu's eyebrow twitched, taking his sword out of its sheath.
"giyuu, there!" You shouted, pointing to the direction of the demon that was currently perched on one of the trees.
The two of you gave each other a knowing nod, rushing towards the trees and jumped landing on one of the branches,
"come back here you coward!" You barked, skillfully jumping from tree to tree, following after the demon.
The demon hissed, sending metal shards towards you and Giyuu, which the two of you dodged with ease
"breath of ice..." you mumbled taking a deep breath
"dance of frozen crystals!"
Streams of sparkling diamond-like figures flowed out your sword as you jumped upwards, holding your katana over your head as you swung it effectively cutting half of it's body;
sadly, not his neck, as he covered it with a steel-like substance.
"Y/n!"
Giyuu called out, causing you to look back at him wondering why did he sound so worried
You saw he was looking horrified looking at your chest rather than your face
'why did he sound so-'
You were caught out of your thoughts by yourself coughing something liquid out of your mouth
You looked down at your chest, a large sharp metal shard piercing through the middle of your chest
"uh.. F-fuck.." you muttered stumbling back and falling against a tree vomiting even more blood feeling it a bit hard to breathe
"y/n! No!" giyuu shrieked running at your slumbering and bloody figure against the tree
"giyuu.. The d.. emon" You mumbled, coughing out a worrisome anmountof blood, the crimson liquid spilling out of your lips in mouthfuls.
"i cant leave you..." he whispered as of scared of starling you
"i cant you are in_" "... Dying"
You corrected him. Mastering the last energy you had to cup his face with your bloody hand while lying in his embrace
"i am.. Dying, Giyuu..."
"no.. No you are not.. You can slow the ble-" "my lungs are... damaged giyuu"
Tears burned his eyes, hugging you close to his chest and placed his hand over your cheek
"i.. Love you... Giyuu... So... Much.. " you confessed as you started to lose consciousness and struggling even more to keep your eyes open
You took a deep breath but sadly... It didn't come out again...
"y/n.. Y/n... Hey.." giyuu said with shaky voice as a couple of tears escaped his eyes
"hey...don't do this to me, love... I–i love you too... Why did you do this... I–i don't deserve this..."he said as he closed your lifeless eyes with his fingers
"i am sorry i am too useless to be able to protect you..." he was now on full mode sobbing
Oh how cruel is it that you didn't even hear the person you love saying thing you wanted to hear from him the most...
Obanai Iguro
No...
No no no no...
That wasn't supposed to happen...
The hit was meant for him...
It was meant for him damn it!
Why did you have to take it for him
He doesn't deserve it
He doesn't deserve to live
Why would he live while you are here dying in his arms gasping and wheezing for air
He is enraged
His fear tends to come out as anger
So while you are literally dying he is shouting at you for how stupid you are, how foolish to waste your precious live over his useless one
His shouting you mutter out an Inaudible : 'sorry... '
Just then the anger turns into tears
"you idiot..." he wailed... Actually wailed.. Something you never thought you'd see, not that you wanted to in the first place
It was supposed to be him...
"don't you dare apologise..." he hugged you even tighter feeling you fading away from him as you tried to breath but it only come out as a horrible choking sound as you choked on your own blood
His cheek rested on top of your head
"o-oba... nai.. " you said chocking in the middle of word as the hole in your chest began seeping even more blood
"g–give them.. H–hell for m–me... Yeah?..."
Oh he would...
He would make them pay for taking you away from him
For making the only person who kept him moving forward...
Is now cold and limb in his arms...
Sanemi shinazugawa
Fuck!
Shit! Shit! Shit! Fuck!
He physically can't handle what he is looking at
As he refused to stop saving you even after you already stopped breathing
"shit! Shit!" he pressed harsher on the wound, the blood was slowing but not because of his relentless attempt...
You were gone... Not even being able to get a word out because of how harshly he was crying
For some reason... Even in your final moments you found it kind of comforting that he was try his best to save you
You felt your heart break looking at him from the other side hugging your cold, lifeless body... Trying to squeeze some warmth into it even though he knows its useless
Kyojuro Rengoku
You coughed out blood as akaza hand went through your stomach
"Y/N! NO!"
You took the hit for kyojuro
I mean... How could you not... You just couldn't let someone like him die
You just couldn't...
Gripping your sword harder, you slashed it against his neck making his eye widen
'she got in my way! And she still has the strength!
Akaza thought as he was amazed at how you still has the strength to even breathe
'Kyojuro, im going to die. I know. We had a life planned in front of us, but..l couldn't let you die. I just can't'
You thought as The demon tried to punch your face, but you stopped it with your other hand
"Y/N!!"
'you won't get away... Akaza!'
Looking behind the demon, but still applying force on the neck, you looked behind to see Rengoku with the boy from before charging at you with their swords.
A smile got onto your face.
'I wont ever let go off the sword ..Until I cut his head off!'
"INOSUKE MOVE! MOVE FOR Y/N-SAN!"
The boar now charged at you with speed His attack cut the demons arms, your sword still attached to his neck.
He was running away, clearly.
The boy threw his sword at the demon,.
stabbing him through the chest. Followed by Screaming of how he was a coward by running away and that both Rengoku and you were stronger than him.
You felt two gentle pair of hands gripping your back, drops of water, or tears, to your cheek as kyojuro took you in his embrace trying to stop the bleeding even though he knows it's a fatal wound
"Y/n.. No. No..please don't leave me! Please! I beg you! I will go down on my knees if it have to!"
"kyo... It's okay..." You say voice barely a whisper as you gathered all the strength you had trying to put your hand on kyojuro's cheek.
He quickly took your bloody hand in his and put it over his cheek
"no no... The hit was meant for me to take... Why did you have to get in the middle... Why.."
"i just couldn't.. Let–" vomiting blood "y-you... Die"
You said panting feeling like you can't breathe anymore...
Kyojuro the brust out sobbing burying his face in your neck as your body laid lifeless in his arms
It was supposed to be him dammit!
He was supposed to be the one protecting you!
Not the other way around!
On the other side tanjiro watching the scene feeling his heart break over and over again
Another love story between two lovers was ruined by those disgusting Creatures
Tengen uzui
after a long and hard battle you had ended up dangling off the side of a cliff barely holding onto an also seriously injured tengen.
He could feel your fingers slipping from his.
you were both tired and injured it was a tough battle and despite the demons head being cut off you had taken some heavy blows and now you were dangling off the side of a cliff, barely conscious as tengen held onto your hand with his
"dont worry y/n! ill pul you up Soon!"
you could see him struggling to hold your hand and knew that if he held on any longer he might go down with you
watching him struggle above you made your heart ache as you couldnt do anything to help
"Ten.."
the both of you made eye contact with each other
"thank you for being with me... I love you so much"
his eyebrows twitched at your words
"why does it sound like youre saying goodbye? y/n. You better hold into my hand!"
his jaw was clenched as he spoke to you
you couldnt leave him
if only he had killed that demon sooner
if only he could have protected you
in this moment he hated the gentle smile that was on your face
because to him it meant he had failed
"we both know we'll both fall if you dont let go, neither of us have enough strength left to do anything."
"its okay ten, im ready. i love you and I'll always be watching over you. live well"
he could feel your fingers one by one letting go of his hand and he tried as hard as possible to not let go
"y/n please! I.. I can't do this without you... "
you just shook your head
"im sorry ten but you have to, i know you can. you're going to do great things, with or without me."
"always remember that i love you... And i'll always be watching you"
With that, the last grip he had on you failed
the serene smile on your face was the last thing he saw as you fell to your probable death,
shattering his heart
he screamed your name on the top of his lungs as your hands disconnected followed by painful sobs
Not again...
First his siblings now you..
He lost so many loved ones
of course he knew that he was too injured to pull you up and the most he could have done was just hold onto you until help came,
If help came...
he hated this,
he hated himself
what was the point of being strong when he couldnt even save the one person he loved most in this entire world
"Live well" it was one of the last things you told him hed try his best to because you asked him of it but to him living well meant being by your side which was something he couldnt do anymore.
Muichiro Tokito
poor baby doesn't really know what to do
he's kneeling beside you with a worried look
he's sweating and his hands are clammy
he remains silent for the most part
"Y/n?"
He is right next to you, hand nervously taking your own
"Don't worry."
you give him a weak smile as scary as it was, just his presence was enough.
"|-what do I do?"
The fear in his face made your heart clench.
"Just stay with me. You dont need to do a thing..."
You squeezed his hand with the last bit of strength
you had, smiling softly
"Be careful okay? There are still a lot of demons left"
You didn't fear death,
but you did fear what would happen to those you
loved once it got to you.
Kagaya ubuyashiki
This took place before the explosion in the final battle era
Your husband's hand is cold in yours. You squeeze his
fingers and watch the moonlight bleed out the color of
his skin into silver.
"Are you well, love?" you ask quietly. A washbowl rests to your side, the cloth draped over the side dripping droplets of water down the floor. You take it and wrangle the water with one hand as best as you can,
laying it atop his forehead after. Kagaya closes his eyes and smiles beatifically. It looks painful.
"I will be fine," he says. A mere whisper; it runs wild in the echoes of the night. "| am certain... After tonight, everything will be fine again." You hum thoughtfully. Your heart turns like a clock,
mechanical, a slave to fate. You dare not tell him anything.
"I wonder. . " Kagaya starts. "How does the sky look tonight, Y/N?"
You looked up at the sky as the clouds moved to reveal the beautiful moon
"it's beautiful..." you said as he leaned into your hand as you caressed his cheeks
"he is here..."
A long shadow blocks the moonlight. You look up.
Plum red eyes stare back.
"It's finally nice to meet you, Kibutsuji Muzan," Kagaya says casually.
A chuckle flits in your ear, honey-thick and suave.
Muzan's jacket rests precariously on his shoulders,
and the wind picks up, as if trying to steal it away. The sleeves whip around him uselessly.
"Well;" he says. "You sure look terrible, Ubuyashiki."
If you do not look too closely, you can still delude
yourself into dreaming that this is a normal family.
Your twins have not stopped playing, and their
laughter mingles with the song.
*after the speech because i cant recall it 💀*
"Kibutsuji" You incline your head, a mockery of respect. "You may have prepared for everything.. But there is one thing you didn't prepared for.."
"and what would that may be?"
"this–" you pulled out teh explosion monitor and jumped on kagaya and just before it explored a room open under kagaya's bed and you both fell into a room underground where your kids were waiting for you to come and there was a secret door which led to outside
But it was quite the fall, but you shielded kagaya's body with yours as you he fell on top of you
"Uhmm... " Kagaya groaned from the pain of the impact but more at the though that you were hurt from the fall and his weight together
"it's okay... It's okay..." you said as you cradled kagaya's fragile body
"i just need you to hold on for me... Can you do that please?"
The explosion was loud on top of you but what was more terrifying was the piece of wood of the selling above you that was about to fall
So you quickly pushed kagaya out of the way just as the piece of wood fell on your lower body completely breaking it
"y/n! " Kagaya yelled as best as he could as he heard your crying of pain
"i am fine! I am fine!" You shouted as you tried to stop the tears from dropping from the pain
"kiriya! Listen! Take your father and run out of here!"
"b–but mo–" "no buts! This piece of seilling completely crushed my lower par! You won't be able to get it out! Even if you did i'd be just a burden! I won't be able to run! No go! Go!"
Kiriya quickly carried his father on his shoulder as best as he could
"no... Y/n... If we die... we die together.. That's a promise..."
"well.. Look like i have a change of plans, sorry love"
You said as you smiled sadly at him even though he can't see it
*time skip*
"CAW! CAW! KIBUTSUJI MUZAN IS DEFEATED! KIBUTSUJI MUZAN IS DEFEATED! THE FINAL BATTLE IS OVER! CAW! CAW!"
Kagaya opened his eyes at the sound of the noisy crow.. And for the first time in years...
He sees the sky clearly as the curse marks started to fade from his body...
He quickly tried to ran into the place where his estate is supposed to be with only one though in mind...
'y/n...'
He opened his eyes clearly for the first time in years and the first face he wanted to look at was yours
"oyakata_sama! Wait! You are not fully recovered yet!"
The kakushi tried to warn him but he just didn't care
He wanted to see you, to touch you, to tell you how much you mean to him even though words cannot describe, to make sure you are alright
But what he saw made him stop and his blood run cold...
The estate.. His home... Your home.. Is now crumbled to pieces with you under all that
he quickly took off and tried to dig into the rubble in hopes maybe.. Just maybe.. You are still alive...
"master..."
The kakushis and the remaining of the hashiras felt thier heart break looking at thier master like this...
Nevertheless, they started to help thier master find his wife.. I mean.. You were like a mother and a big sister to them all...
"I found something!" one of the kakushi shouted as he saw your bloody hand sticking out of the rubble
They quickly ran to where he was and started digging even more, just as they reached your head they all stopped and stepped back for thier master to take a look at you...
"oh my dear..."
Kagaya quietly knelt down where your bloody upper body only was visible
He caressed your bloody
cheek just as you did with him a few hours ago...
Oh how beautiful you looked... Even if you were cold and pale with your lips starting to get blue..
He missed you so much that he almost forgot the way you looked...
You looked even more beautiful than he remembered even with the black circles under your eyes and the few wrinkles that appeared on your face and the grey hairs despite how young you are...
"oh love... How many times did i tell not to worry to much about me..." Kagaya whispered as he caressed your cold skin with a few tears falling from his eyes "like this you will age before time..."
He hugged you one last time before the kakushis free your body completely from the rubble and take you to bury your beautiful body
Today the world won peace.. But he lost his...
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Touch Me 'Till I Vomit (pet!au) [12]
pet!au | ghoap x fem!reader | tag list
gentle
cw: angst, non-con touching, dub-con sex, smut, hate fucking if you squint
Click. Click. Click.
Johnny won’t stop messing with his pen. Repetitive clicks echo in the small space in his art room as he hunches over his journal, shading away at some image just beyond your view. It’s distracting. That slip of plastic against plastic. It’s not as acidulous as a firing pin striking metal — nor is it nearly as dangerous — but it’s enough to get the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end. Enough to make you remember the weight of an empty gun biting into the palm of your hand. It’s unforgiving, like a bad dog.
Brain too perforated to properly concentrate, you tap the eraser of your pencil against the notebook in your lap. The scrawlings of a madwoman taint the paper between its faded blue lines. It’s a gift from Johnny. Shoved it into your hands the other day because he said you looked bored. Told you that you fidget too much without something to busy yourself with, and he needs you to sit still in order to draw you properly. It was unusually astute of him to notice something so small about you. You’ve descried something more than just a lowering haze over the sapphire of his eyes, but you’re unable to put it into words.
He’s different these days. You don’t know why.
Either way, you are grateful for the escape. You’ve repurposed this old, fading notebook into a diary of sorts. Some place to pour your thoughts out to something that has no other choice than to listen — something that cannot bite you. For so long you have carried so much inside of you; not just the pain and fear, but the little things, too. You nearly cried when you realized you finally had a place to put it — that weight — down.
It wasn’t until you flipped to the first page that you realized you don’t know what the date is. Your passage of time has been warped again and again. A tablet dissolving in your drink made you lose days. Johnny taking you on the floor while a football game droned in the background made you lose years. You try to count the time in other ways. The length adding to your hair. Golden leaves catching fire on the fringes of the forest. An algid whisper on the wind dancing through the open window. The way summer dies with a sputtering pule.
These days, you measure the turn of the earth by feel. Months. Hours. It doesn’t matter to you how long you have been trapped here; you only care about how much life you have left to live when you escape.
Johnny. John? Soap. Like the bar. Never feels clean. Never makes me feel clean. Scottish. Tattoo on forearm. Coat of arms? Military? Wannabe? Scar on head. Shot? Simon said so. When? Who? Matching scar. No. Never.
Simon. Simon. Just Simon. English. Manchester? Guns. Hunter. Big guns. Fucked up nose. Fucked up everything. Scars. One on ribs. Butcher? Smells like blood. Hate him. Animal. Lots of tattoos. Took me as a pet for Johnny. Mad man. Bad man.
Me. Not Bonnie. Something else. Someone else. Bartender. How old am I? Need haircut.
Miss my jumper.
Miss my mum.
Miss ice cream.
Had an interview before I was taken. What day? Missing since… June. June. Summer. Hot. Did they ever call back? Needed better job. Wonder if they’re looking for me. Is anyone looking for me? Always called mum on Sundays.
Does her phone ring now that I’m gone?
No. Not gone. Not yet. Not ever.
I hope her phone rings.
Scribbles muddle the margins between fractured words and thoughts. You can conjure nothing more than empty, uneven eyes and dried flies lining burnt window sills. What creativity lingers in the fringes of your mind stays in the mess of grey matter; never something to brand the off white paper in your hands. Masterpieces cannot be created in a cage. You save what little energy you have for dreaming. You dream of a day when your teeth grow long enough they don’t whittle down to sand when you try to sharpen them.
“Bonnie?”
Johnny moves quietly. Or, your ears are growing old. Too busy trying to recall sounds you used to love; unable to make sense of the cacophony that constantly surrounds you in this tomb. He’s already eye level with you by the time you look up. Crouched next to your plushy chair, a wide hand sits on the armrest that props your elbow. He’s got his journal in hand, and you are very aware of the way he curiously eyes your own. You slam it shut with the pencil between the pages before setting it aside.
His eyes follow your hands with question, but he says nothing as he turns his journal for you to see. Truly, Johnny has a talent you’ve rarely seen others show off. Meticulously crafted sketches brand the paper, etching your likeness in grey graphite. He captures every curve of your body as you lean in the recliner, eyes narrow with concentration. You’re drawn with a smile on your face, but those muscles in your cheeks have been dormant for so long you’re not sure you could conjure the expression if you tried.
“That looks lovely,” you compliment. It’s not a lie, but it rolls off of your tongue like it is.
“You’re lovely,” he fires back. Playful. Light.
There it is again. That look. Heavy lids threaten to smother the blue hue of his eyes — heavy with a concupiscence so thick it’s palpable in the air that separates you from him. You hope one day it solidifies — turns into some protective barrier — but it never will.
It starts like it always does. The slicing of the threshold, brittle like eggshells and bones. You don’t think about it as he presses his lips to yours. You keep your mind full of other thoughts because if it’s empty, there’s more room for worse things. Bitter things. A man can only stare at a meal for so long before his hunger consumes him. You are liquid. A flowing being molding into the shape of his body as his torso pinches your legs against the recliner. It’s easier to give in. Hurts less. Angers Simon less. Even with that monster gone you behave because the walls have eyes. Dark brown irises that do nothing but stare and smirk.
“Ow!”
But you still have your limits, and your body aches more often than it is numb these days, and Johnny’s hands haven’t grown any softer. He paws at you with claws that can’t retract and you wince. Your breasts are sore from weeks — no, months — of abuse. They’re silent wounds that will not heal and always, always scream.
Then, it stops.
Johnny’s hands retract from your body at the same time as his lips do, leaving you breathlessly dumbfounded. Blinking away the confusion, your eyes settle on Johnny who retreats back to sitting on his haunches. Blue eyes shimmer in the late summer sun as he shifts. For once, you are the one above him instead of the other way around. He looks up at you as if you’re an angel—
—as if he’s begging for forgiveness.
“Did Ah hurt you?” he asks.
“Uh… a-a little bit,” you admit stiffly.
“A’m sorry.”
There’s something in his eyes that unsettle you. You think back to that night when his body thrashed and squirmed next to you on the bed, fear reverberating through the mattress. Panicked and screaming; unable to rip himself from some nightmare. How he screamed about wanting to go home. Your stomach twists at the very thought, and it only gets worse when you realize that — for once — he looks more human than mutt.
“It’s okay. I… I know you didn’t mean it,” you whisper.
“Never. Ah would never hurt you,” he concurs. A breadth of stillness freezes the room and for the longest time you hear nothing but the chatter of birds. Johnny reaches for you with a singular hand, and rests it on top of your leg, heavy and warm. “Bonnie, are ye afraid of me?”
Vocal chords turning to stone, your throat seizes as you attempt to answer. “No,” you lie. Cautious eyes flicker to the walls around you like they’ll crumble at any moment. Something slices through the prostration in your chest, and a strange cogitation flickers in the back of your mind. It’s as strong as it is terrifying, but you find your body executing it before you’re able to stop it. “But… Simon does. He terrifies me.”
Johnny’s mouth fills with well meaning mirth. “He’s scary alright, but he won’t hurt ye. Simon’s not like that.”
“I’m still worried he might,” you admit. A hesitant hand reaches out and rests over Johnny’s. The smile on his face quickly melts away into surprise as he stares up at you with parted lips. “But you wouldn’t let that happen. Right?”
“Never.” His response is quick. Sharp and eager as he leans closer. His other hand comes up to rest upon yours, sandwiching you into a small embrace. “Cannae ever let anythin’ bad happen to ye.”
Something shudders in your chest. Your diaphragm, maybe. It quivers and quakes as if you hold a bird’s nest within yourself. Foreign words begin to scratch at the back of your tongue, tickling your throat. You know well enough to bite them back, but as you stare at Johnny’s smile — lips pulled wide — someone stronger chokes the words out for you.
“You’re so good to me, Johnny,” you whisper, voice whiny as you scoot forward in the recliner. Slipping your hand out of his grasp, your palms instead reach up to cup his face. His smile fades into parted lips and bated breath as your thumbs rub against abrasive stubble. You don’t think you’ve ever seen his eyes dilate so wide before. “Such a good boy, aren’t you?”
“Ah try tae be,” he swallows.
“I know you do.”
It takes an eternity for your lips to meet his. Just when you think you’ve halved the distance, it only grows, and you’re unsure if it’s because of the scream of betrayal in your chest, or something worse. He groans when your bodies finally reunite, and you play into the fantasy his sick brain is infested with. Precious Bonnie. So supple and pliant in his hands. If only he knew you were this soft because muscles cannot properly tense around broken bones.
You pull Johnny onto the recliner by his collar, but you ensure you’re the one to land on top. Legs spreading wide to accommodate his thighs, your knees squish into the sides of the arm rests, sending journals and pencils flying to the ground. When he paws at your chest again, you bite back the urge to push him away. To slice your nails through the back of his hand. Fingers pressing into tender flesh, he stares up at you like he’s finally able to feel the heart beating beneath his palms.
“You wanna fuck me?” Those words sting on the way out, but you attempt to distract yourself from the pain as you grind down onto Johnny’s lap. He nods, hips pathetically bucking up. “Yeah? Ask me, then.”
Thick brows pinch together as he parts his lips. It’s as if his request is on the tip of his tongue, but his hands have a mind of their own. Wandering. Grabbing. Pinching.
“No,” you chastise. “Use your words, Johnny.”
“Please. Please, Bonnie.” It’s pathetic. He says the words like he’s speaking to Simon.
“Good boy,” you coo. “Gentle now. Gentle, Johnny.”
He fumbles with the fly of his jeans, all too eager. His cock hardly has time to spring free before he’s already making a mess. Precum drips everywhere, staining the band of your shorts as his reddened tip slaps against you. Too worried about keeping your power, you don’t bother to properly remove your clothes. Instead, you move the gusset of your shorts and panties to the side before sinking down onto him. This has to be quick. You promise yourself it will be.
All the while, you remind Johnny to be gentle, gentle, gentle.
Even when you’re in control, it still hurts. There’s that stretch and sting as you split yourself open, but you take it slow. Steady. Unlike Johnny, you allow yourself to adjust. He’s panting beneath you by the time you fully take him. You feel so full of rot it upsets your stomach, but you try to mask your trembling with a gentle rock of your hips. His moan is cacophonous, and your fingers itch to dig into his throat and render his vocal chords useless, but you relent.
Always, always relenting.
There is an intense appetency for blood that itches in the back of your mind. Even as you fake your moans and rock your hips, you want to take your hands and dig. Fingers piercing through flesh, cutting through bone; you wouldn’t stop until Johnny’s heart is in the palm of your hands. Still beating. Still fresh. You could squeeze it for an eternity and it still would only be a fraction of the pain you’ve been made to endure.
You hate him. You hate him like a mother hates her daughter. Like how eyes hate mirrors. How the sun hates flesh.
“Johnny?” you choke out. “Do you love me?”
It takes him a moment to catch his breath, mouth stuck open as he stares up at you. “Aye. So much, Bonnie.”
“Yeah? So you’d do anything for me?” you challenge. You try not to wince as he butts up against your cervix, but you know you can’t afford to stop.
“Aye.”
“Anything I ask?”
“Anythin’ ye ask. Fuck, Bonnie A’m-”
“I love you, Johnny.” It’s acid. Pure bile on your tongue. You nearly choke on the words, but you repeat them again. “I love you so much.”
You hide your face in the crook of his neck when he comes. Thick fingers dig into your hips as you hold still, allowing him to spill his seed inside of you like he always does. His pulse throbs against your lips and you restrain the urge to take the artery into your maw and bite down. There’s nothing in your mouth but pathetic, brittle teeth. You don’t even think you could break through his skin. Still, you dream of it. Running the tips of your fingers along Johnny’s jaw, you yearn for a day when you have the weapons and tools to free yourself. It’s a long, agonizing process. One you’re not sure you have the patience for.
And so, when you lean back to look at him, you stare at his lips. Soak up the way the delicate skin parts as he smiles up at you, allowing you to catch sight of his teeth. You might not have sharp canines, but he does. You know first hand the way they can dig into your lip and draw blood from skin. Fingers twitching, you yearn to pull the canines from his mouth, to wield them for yourself, but you know you’re not strong enough.
But maybe, someday, you can be the guiding hand. Point a finger and say go fetch and have Simon’s head delivered to you. That day is too far over the horizon for you to view, but the vision of it is so clear in your mind that it’s enough for now. Right now, you’ve taken the first step.
“Good boy,” you croon as you thumb over his bottom lip. “Good boy, Johnny.”
You’ll just have to keep walking.
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Alright not to like liveblog my breakdown on main but yesterday was a really bad day after a really bad, like, 4 months, and I've hit a bit of a breaking point and one of the only things in my life that can give is running @mdzsartreblogs , @tgcfartreblogs , @svsssartreblogs , @erhaartreblogs , @tykartreblogs , and @cnovelartreblogs , so that is what has to give. It's been a 99-out-of-100 days thankless job. A small number of people do say thank you and yall I appreciate you so much (HUGE shout-out to the artist I met at Flamecon who gifted me a zine when I said I ran these blogs, @bonesblubs you rock) but I have never done an act of fandom labor simultaneously this labor intensive yet this invisible before and, uh. It sucks. I spend an hour or more a day on this every day, if it's under 2k hours since I started the first of these in September 2020 I'd be shocked. And I do it because I love it but doing it means I don't have time or energy to do other things I love. And I really don't want to just quit, but I can't keep this up.
In a last-ditch effort to try not to just give up, I'm making the following changes:
1. Only watching one tag per fandom for the MXTX fandoms. I am going to check *only* #tgcf, #svsss, and #mdzs. Artwork posted to any other tag, I will not see unless a mutual reblogs it.
2. Reduced tagging (even more). I'm only going to tag characters and maybe overarching au type (eg, "modern au," "fantasy au"). I'll no longer tag creatures. I will continue to tag the same common trigger warnings I already tag.
3. If a work's appearance doesn't make it obvious what it is AND the tags aren't clear, I'm not going to reblog. I can't keep spending 5 minutes or more trying to figure out what I'm even looking at, scared that if I guess wrong the artist will get mad at me for mistagging their work. If I do reblog, I'll tag only the artist name and/or whatever else I can identify for sure.
4. I am no longer going to follow #link click. The fandom is just too big. I've started dreading checking it. If I was more into it and less busy I would make another spin off just for it but neither of those is true. (The art is so good, I hate to do this, but. If you love link click, highly recommend the main tag, lots of great stuff there.)
5. I will no longer tag any non-cnovel content in the art/post. Like, if someone draws, idek, Xie Lian and Marinette from Ladybug, I'm not gonna put any tags for Marinette, just for Xie Lian.
6. Basically if I run into something hard to tag or confusing or unclear, my new policy is I'm not gonna fricken bother.
I think those are everything but idefk, I cried for 3 hours last night and got 4 hours of sleep so I'm mostly fueled by exhaustion and desperation right now and my memory is even more fried than usual.
How artists can help. This is obviously all optional. You do you. But since some people might want to know what would make my life easier, I'm sharing. I'm not claiming I feel entitled to dictate how people fandom or anything like that.
1. Put the tags for the character(s) and ship(s) early in the tag list.
2. If you make art for a fandom that isn't one of the big ones (right now the only big danmei fandoms on tumblr as far as I can tell are the MXTX fandoms and maybe 2ha) I am begging you to use my tracked tag #cnovelartreblogs
3. Do mdzs art? Tag #mdzs. Do tgcf art? Tag #tgcf. Do svsss art? Tag #svsss.
4. Not only artists, but everyone, *please* stop tagging fandoms not discussed and/or depicted in your post. It's gotten to be stupid common for people to blanket the danmei fandom tags with posts only about one fandon (like, svsss-only works also being tagged mdzs and tgcf and 2ha for some damn reason). This isn't about just my sideblogs tbh this is just fandom etiquette that seems to have been forgotten or never learned by many. Tagging unrelated fandoms isn't "reach," it's annoying. People go into the #mdzs tag to see mdzs, not whatever not-mdzs stuff people have decided to tag for ~reach~, and seeing the same post in 8 tags, none of which it's related to, is so damn irritating, and makes scrolling the tags looking for content that IS relevant take that much longer. Knock it off.
Okay. I think that's as much as I'm prepared to meltdown where everyone can see. Thanks in advance everyone for your understanding, and apologies to everyone about to see this 8 times as I reblog it to each sideblog.
At least I'm not tagging it to everywhere. 🤣🤣🤣
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