#but I can offer you shitty memes

[bookyeom]

whatever you say, baby - chs

pairing: vernon x reader word count: 1.1k warnings: none? the slightest bit suggestive at the end but like... it's nothing author's note: part two to this fic! i would recommend reading both for it to make sense :)

You haven’t seen Vernon in four days.

You haven’t seen him since he kissed you — and he’d kissed you a lot.

You’d barely managed to finish the movie without making out on his couch like teenagers. And when it was over, he hadn’t asked you to stay — but he’d kissed you again by his front door. 

You’d texted when you’d gotten home safe, as he’d requested. Then you’d woken up the next day to a ‘good morning :)’ text, which was swiftly followed by ‘today is so busy I might die’. And then the two of you had just… moved on. 

He sends a Shrek meme and then disappears for hours; you laugh react or send a meme in return. He sends you a picture of a “gnarly” squirrel he sees on campus; you send him a picture of a shitty doodle you drew during one of your lectures. Neither of you brings up what happened. You know he’s got a project due at the end of the week, so you don’t push when his texts are few and far between. Even though you so desperately want to. 

Is he thinking about it as much as you are? You can’t get the feeling of his lips out of your mind, and it’s driving you crazy. You want to kiss him again, want to run your fingers through his hair again, want to feel his hands on your waist again.

But you remain in limbo. You don’t ask for an explanation — he doesn’t offer one. And you don’t know how much longer you can ignore it. 

Vernonie [8:34pm]: INCOMING VIDEOCALL

Your eyes widen when your screen lights up. You quickly straighten from where you’d been lounging on your couch, tucking your hair behind your ears and hoping for the best. He knows what you look like, you remind yourself, but that doesn’t help the nerves when you finally accept the call. 

“Hey, stranger.”

He looks cute, and it makes you sick. 

“Hey,” you reply, and you can feel your cheeks heat up for no apparent reason. All he’s done is say hello, but you haven’t seen his face in four days, and the last time you saw him you were —

“What’s up?”

“Nothing,” you say, and then you can’t help but blurt out, “You’ve been busy.” It comes out accusatory, and you regret it immediately. 

Vernon looks surprised, and you watch as his eyebrows raise. “Yeah, I had that big project to finish, remember?” 

You nod, avoiding eye contact through the screen. “Right.”

He’s quiet again before he says teasingly, “If you missed me you can just say so.” 

You know it’s an attempt to lighten the mood, but it hits so deep all of a sudden that you think you might cry. Did he not miss you, too? 

You know it’s a cheap move, but you absolutely cannot look at him when he tells you that the kissing had meant nothing, that it was all a mistake. That you’re better off as friends. 

“Hey,” he says when you shift your phone so that your face is just out of sight. You can practically hear his pout. “Come back.”

“I’m just gonna go,” you say weakly, and you can see in your peripheral vision the way Vernon sits up straight. 

“Hey, no. Wait. Please come back? Let me say something.”

You bite your lip as the tears well up. It takes you a minute, but you manage to take a breath and set your phone back upright to look at him. 

“Y/N,” he says gently, and you can see his soft smile through the screen. “Bro.”

You can’t help but smile a bit at that, and he takes that as a sign to continue. 

“Did you think I was avoiding you?”

You shrug. 

“You think I kissed you and then avoided you on purpose?”

Your heart stutters over itself a bit as he says the words out loud. When he puts it like that, you suppose it sounds a bit silly. Because it’s Vernon, and he would never be so cruel. You shrug again, but you still can’t find it in you to speak. 

“Kissing you is probably all I've thought about for the better part of the last few months,” he continues, and your eyes widen. “I wasn't deliberately avoiding you, I just... I was busy, that part’s true, but it seemed like a good time to give you some space anyway because I know you get into your head sometimes, so I thought that would give you some time to process…” He trails off, a hand running through his hair before he adds, quieter, “You know. In case you…” 

“In case I what?” It’s the first time you’ve spoken in a few minutes, and you can practically see the way Vernon’s shoulders relax at the sound of your voice again. 

He pauses, and then he says softly, “In case you regret it.”

Your eyes widen. “You think I regret it?”

“Do you?”

You shake your head, a bit dizzy as you return, “Do you?”

Vernon’s lip curls up at the side. “No, Y/N. I don’t.”

You’re processing, and he’s quiet as he lets you. He doesn’t regret it. He wanted to kiss you. He… 

It’s silent for another moment and then you say, voice small, “But you didn’t ask me to stay.” 

“Baby,” he says, and your eyes widen. “That’s definitely not because I didn’t want you to. Like I said, I was giving you space.”

“Baby?”

Vernon freezes. “Shit, sorry. Fuck—“

“It’s okay,” you interrupt, and he relaxes a little. 

“Yeah?” He breathes, and you nod. A smile spreads across your lips, warmth spreading through you as it really, truly dawns on you — Vernon likes you back. 

“Yeah,” you affirm. “I think I much prefer that to bro.”

“Yeah?” He says again, and you smile. You’re just realizing now that he seems nervous too, and it makes you feel all sorts of warm and fuzzy inside.

“Mhm.”

You stare at one another through the screen. Vernon’s grin spreads the longer you do, and even though you know your cheeks are flushed, you don’t stop the staring contest. He narrows his eyes, and you let out a giggle. 

“So…”

“So,” he repeats, and you watch as he adjusts to lie down on his couch. “I finished my project.”

That was not where you thought this conversation was headed. “Oh yeah? Good job, bro.” 

Vernon raises his eyebrows at the name, and you flush again. 

“It’s habit,” you whine, and he puts on an exaggerated frown. 

“That’s fine,” he sighs dramatically, “I was going to say that I can hang out with you now that my project is done, but I can see I’m the only romantic one here, bro.”

You gasp. “I can be romantic!”

Vernon grins, and you immediately know you’ve taken his bait as he teases, “Really?”

“I can!” You insist, and he just smiles even wider. 

“Want me to come over so you can show me just how romantic you can be, baby?”

TAGLIST: @tae-bebe @wheeboo @waldau @iluvseokmin @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @seohomrwolf @pan-de-seungcheol @minisugakoobies @wqnwoos @gyuminusone @christinewithluv @darkypooo @lvlystars @bewoyewo

[solarmorrigan]

💘 for the writing game!

Hello! I definitely have to thank you for this prompt because I think it might be my favorite of all the fills I got to write for this meme (although I maybe got a little carried away) <3

Call this one a modern AU, probably. CW: emotional abuse, briefly mentioned homophobia, Steve just has a shitty family

💘 fake relationship / mutual pining / dared to kiss

Prompt from this list

-

So Eddie’s maybe been laying it on a little thick.

That’s his excuse, anyway.

It’s just – it’s possible he’s gotten a little carried away; while the idea had been for him to accompany Steve for moral support to the annual three days of torture that are his visits home for Christmas, Eddie’s priorities had shifted a little with the last phone call he’d overheard Steve taking from his mom.

Something-something-I hope you’ve found someone to bring home with you, Steven-something-something-your cousin already has a baby on the way-something-something-such a disappointment to see you alone, Steven-something-something.

Steve had looked so small and sad after talking to her, the way he always does after talking to her, and Eddie wishes his parents’ approval (or lack thereof) didn’t hold such a sway over Steve, not when they don’t deserve that kind of respect, but he also gets it – family is complicated. So instead, Eddie offers Steve a way to shove his parents’ faces in it.

Instead of showing up in a strictly platonic, friendly-like capacity, he offers to play Steve’s boyfriend for the holiday.

And since Steve is the same brand of crazy as Eddie (even if he buries it better), he accepts.

So from the moment they pull up in front of the Harrington house the morning of December twenty-fourth, Eddie plays the doting boyfriend to a tee. He holds Steve’s hand, he kisses him on the cheek, he snuggles up to him on the sofa; he plays nice with Steve’s homophobic grandfather, and is only a little snarky with Steve’s patronizing uncle, and talks Steve up every chance he gets.

So yes, he’s laying it on a little thick, but Steve’s family should think he has a partner who adores him.

Because Steve deserves a partner who adores him.

(Because Eddie does adore him. Which is – well, that’s probably part of the problem.)

It doesn’t work as well as Eddie had hoped it would, in the end. Steve’s family can’t fault him for being “pathetically single” anymore, but they can pick him apart in literally every other respect – and they do.

He takes it like a pro, letting the nasty, pointed comments roll off him, smooth and brittle as glass, never causing a scene or biting back, because it’s Christmas and apparently this is just how they celebrate.

(They mostly ignore Eddie, acting like he’s beneath them, which has Steve sending apologetic glances his way the whole day, like Eddie is the one who needs an apology when Steve is the one being vivisected by his family.)

Steve just holds in whatever he’s feeling until they’ve retired for the night, up in the guest room that used to be his room, that his mom had apparently barely waited until he’d moved out to start converting.

He holds it in and holds it in until the door shuts behind them and he all but collapses on the edge of the bed, crumpling in on himself like the ugly plaid duvet is crumpling underneath him, with his shoulders curved in and his face covered and his chest heaving with what are maybe supposed to be calming, deep breaths but are definitely not working, because the stress is still coming off him in waves.

And like Eddie said: he’s maybe gotten a little carried away with his role, but it just feels completely normal to go right to Steve, to curl his arms around him and pull him in close and remind him that his family’s opinions aren’t worth shit and that Steve is so good, and–

And when Steve uncovers his face, a little blotchy and pulling tight with the effort not to let any tears flow free, it just feels completely normal to press a kiss to his cheek, and another to the corner of his mouth, and another to his lips, all in quick succession, all soft and reverent and reassuring.

Eddie freezes the moment he’s pulled back. The moment he realizes what he’s just done.

“Eddie,” Steve murmurs into the still air between them, “there’s… no one watching right now.”

You don’t have to do this, he means.

“I–” Eddie’s voice gets caught up in his throat, because his brain is screaming at him to play it off, to tell Steve that he just got carried away, got too into the role – but his heart, noisy fucker that it is, has different ideas. “I… maybe haven’t been faking as much as I said I was. Or, like– at all.”

“Oh, thank god,” Steve breathes, and then he’s pushing back in for another kiss, his mouth eager and warm and perfect against Eddie’s.

And the next two days aren’t going to be any less stressful, spent around a flock of hungry vultures masquerading as people, but Eddie figures that if nothing else, at least one good thing will have come from the holiday.

He tilts his head to deepen the kiss and Steve opens up beneath him, anticipating him like they’ve been doing this for ages, and – yeah, Eddie decides.

One very, very good thing.

[ashleyeveerson]

✨ THE DAN AND PHIL LORE pt. 3✨

CHECK OUT PART 2: https://www.tumblr.com/ashleyeveerson/760707933651746816?source=share

Phil ALSO comes out! (yeah no i'm not crying what? not them feeling comfortable enough to be themselves yeah). 2019 also brings us the adoption of a fish named Norman (a cutie) AND they also post pictures about their recent trip to Japan [the photo of Phil looking up to Dan behind the camera? yeah i am so normal about it, i swear]. There is hope in the horizon still for a Dan and Phil comeback...

BAM! A certain virus runs wild and forces everyone to stay at home. Phil continues to upload solo videos which distracted so many of us during these dark times. Dan, however is AWOL and the only pic we have of him is a shitty screenshot of him in glasses and a mask helping Phil rescue an injured pigeon (lockdown was WILD).

Also, my boy Dan post a cryptic tweet that leads to the announcement of a self-help book named YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS NIGHT (because you will <3). Nah but I can't count how many times I've sobbed reading it, just him trying to help out others who have also struggled with mental health... istg i love this man

Hey so THEY BUY THEIR FOREVER PHOUSE TOGETHER they're gonna kill me one day istg. "Dan and Phil just decided to pay a mortgage together", top 10 sentences that would kill a 2016 phan. They are slaying, they are glowing... also rip Norman the fish you will not be forgotten

So during 2014 the fates (aka a random youtuber) foretold that Dan and Phil would be married in 2022. Since that clearly didn't happen the meme PHIVORCE united the phandom once more. ALSO Dan is out there shitting on youtube (as he should) and going on his solo tour WE'RE ALL DOOMED! Which i love with all my heart and also Phil being there for him every step of the way... AHHHHHHHH

Anyways a certain video called Dan and Phil finally tell the truth hits the internet and let's just say GOD DAMN. This also starts a wonderful trend amongst Dan and Phil in which they make fun of their audience (we deserve it ngl) and absolutley SHOCK US with new information about bonkers shit from their past [apparently they were offered a threesome MULTIPLE TIMES???]

It's the end. They've decided to give up their channel "Dan and Phil Games" forever... let's take a moment and silent and mourn with a compilation of Heart eyes Howell

...

SIKE! We're back baby and we're better than ever!!! The goodbye video turned out the be an ANNOUNCEMENT of their comeback. They are back, Dil Howlter is here and Phil confesses to having dyed everything green in the house when Dan went on tour bc he missed him (OH GOD). Also, the Halloween baking video introduced us to the icon that is.... *drumroll please*

SISTER DANIEL, the queen of making everyone reconsider their sexuality... she is the moment, she is an icon and she is serving astronomical levels of cunt at all time [jokes aside, Dan being comfortable enough to do drag in public, fuck they've come so far i'm so proud of them <3].

And here we are in the future, it's present day and they are queerer and happier than ever. THE PICTURES I CAN'T ISTG. Also Dan's Birthday stream is beyond iconic. First of all my unproblematic kings make it a charity stream to donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund (using their public influence for good hell yeah)... And how did they raise the money you ask? WELL BY HITTING IS WHERE WE'RE WEAKEST. Sister Daniel makes a spectacular comeback, FATHER PHIL is introduced and Dan even dyes his hair red to be more Good Omens coded... which timeline are we living in again? like how is any of this real?

Also them drawing the PINOF whiskers on their faces again... they're literally growing old together I'm gonna go sob in a corner. Also the fake apology video bc they have no fashion sense in the Sims 4 is hilarious as fuck. HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY BE SO MUCH HOTTER ON THEIR THIRTIES EXPLAIN??

anyways the phandom is still speculating wether they're erasing "i love you's" at the end of their text when they show them on videos... guess some things never change. Nah but the vibes are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW, they are more open than they've ever been and participate on the phan culture FULLY to the point that they're the ones terrorizing us now.

QUICK DETOUR TO TALK ABOUT PHIL'S FAMOUS BAD LUCK (and then they wonder why he's always dying in the fanfics). Nah but my poor man has had his fair share of medical problems, the most recent being...

OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU ANNOUNCE SOMETHING LIKE THAT THIS WAY?? nah like using humor as a coping mechanism and all but do they wanna gives a heart attack?! iconic i fear however

So yeah the video where they talk about it is WILD (funniest shit about the whole ordeal is that a nurse mistook Dan as Phil's son). Also I saw a tweet speculating about Phil having a hickey like... first of all what is it? 2009? Second of all IT'S MOST LIKELY A POPPED VESSEL FROM LOSING ALL THAT BLOOD YOU KNOW

They still were able to go on their vacation (aka the rodent boy summer) which gifted us with this iconic pics... ALSO they dropped a new Dan and Phil beats for summer go check out the names of the tracks istg they wanna kill their fans.

Nothing is sacred anymore, they've infiltrated twtphan, they're actively reposting memes and writing fanfiction about themselves. It's the wild west, everytime you get a notification is like playing Russian Rulet. Cringe is dead and Dan and Phil ARE COMING NEAR YOUR CITY on a tour named "Terrible Influence" where Phil's spent 300€ on silicone. It's a wonderful time to be a phan.

OKAY SO here's some stuff that didn't make the cut but that i find too hilarious to not mention. In no apparent order: DAN DRESSING UP AS A CATBOY, Dan and Phil playing technicians 1 and 2 on Big Hero 6 and two brothers on the Lion King (wtf was that also they gave the gorilas matching fringes), Dan dressing up as a golden pig (my boy has RANGE) and finally Dan being too embarassed to admit he stalked Phil and telling a reporter he was only asking for "editing tips" if you know what i mean

Also a short compilation of Dan and Phil losing the idgaf war against eachother THEY ARE SO THOUGHTFUL ABOUT EVERYTHING. Special mention to Daniel's 🧡 when Phil praised "We're all doomed!" and Dan's ranch metaphor to describe their relationship (just go watch the mukkbang video OH LORD)

SO, in conclusion... Dan and Phil's refusal to belittle their past and instead embrace it as part of their story while actively moving into the future alongside the phandom YEAH THAT SHIT MEANS SOMETHING. They're simultaneously healing our inner child while embracing us as the adults we've become i have many feelings about them

So what are they?

They're just Dan and Phil.

[beanghostprincess]

Don't mind me just casually dropping a thought nugget-

Anyway Ussop and Buggy both with MEGA imposter syndrome energy, somehow the cross guild and strawhats cross paths and declare a truce ((maybe it's a simple island, maybe Buggy's just "feeling nice" and so doesn't instigate, who tf knows-))

Anyway, Ussop and Buggy having a brief moment of a heart to heart, maybe Ussop overhears a Cross Guild "argument" ((ie: Croc threatening Buggy)), and he's actually... concerned? About this guy?? I mean yeah Buggy has done some bad shit and all but he helped Luffy with the whole Impel Down Thing. Luffy is a good judge of character, and if it wasn't On Sight this meet up, then obviously Buggy is a halfway decent dude.

So it becomes Pinocchio Jesus trying to subtly give therapy to a feral cat clown man on the outskirts of a party.

And when Buggy inevitably drops a "it's just the way it is, kid, they're stronger than me, I can offer nothing", Ussop has a moment of oh. You're like me, aren't you, Buggy?

((Bonus points, Luffy alternating between inhaling food, playing around and being absolutely GLUED to someone (Zoro, Buggy or Crocodile, in that order of frequency).

Eventually Lu decides to give a Grand Retelling Of Events, and he calls Buggy "one of the harder people I fought" without hesitation bc, to Luffy, he WAS. Buggy was the one who hurt his hat, who gave him a challenge STILL IN THE EAST, and who was tenacious and smart in ways he didn't GET. mihawk and Crocodile both are Doubting until Luffy gets into the Impel Down events and they... are beginning to Wonder. Buggy was underestimated when arrested, on a higher level, but even those levels have good security. And Buggy was out and mid escape when Luffy found him.

How did THAT happen?

And actually... he was starting and running a business in two years - one they integrated into with... very little push back or struggle. Mihawk may not be as business oriented, but both can tell that the math isn't... mathing precisely as expected.

Luffy, so infectious with energy, in that hat, in that shade of red - well. Buggy's been lonely for so long, and he's tired. What's the harm in dropping a few of his many, many guards?

Luffy is over the moon bc as far as he's concerned, the moment Buggy helped him, they became Friends, and when he learned he's an ally or smth of Shanks'? That's it, Buggy, you're being assimilated into the found family. Good luck, pal.

Croc and Hawk meanwhile are the Pikachu meme inside, trying to find the EQUATION to account for?? All??? This????

The rest of the strawhats are either cackling, watching on in amusement or cheering on as Buggy does some simply little card tricks or juggles smth or other. He passed Captain's Vibe Check, Nami's only slightly petty about the money.))

Just. Ussop (and thus Sanji) looking at this exhausted clown man and saying "we're adopting you. Yes, you're older than us. No we don't care. Sign here plz"

Luffy going "we're friends, no need to fight!! ... unless you wanna 👀👀"

Meanwhioe Mihawk and Zoro are making Prolonged Eye Contact ominously between sips of their alcohol of choice.

Just. Buggy being strong armed into Friendship and The Inescapable Ordeal Of Being Loved while his business partners are left to Wonder and Think and be subjected to the biggest, most aggressive sideye either have ever experienced by this gaggle of pirate gremlins who have for some reason decided Buggy is the Coolest and Best Ever, Actually.

This is amazing. I've always said Luffy and Buggy would end up getting along at some point if Luffy knew how much Buggy has gone through, tbh. And Usopp would feel so much pity for him, honestly. They're on the same boat here (shitty self-esteem and imposter syndrome boat). This is great bc I can imagine Crocodile and Mihawk's faces and it's,,, So funny,,

[cowgurrrl]

I've been rotting away in bed all weekend recovering from a cold and I made the mistake of rereading some parts of OFTM and I miss them so much 😭 how's our favorite famous duo doing? I can't stop thinking about reader having to defend/support joel for whatever reason, but it's with the vibe of this meme LMAO like that is HER man, how dare people say anything about him

J!!! I love this request!! Thank you for sending it in and I’m sorry it took so long 🩷

Girls on Film

Pairing: rockstar!joel x actress!reader

Summary: this ask

Warnings: unedited because you can’t make me, discussions of toxic behavior, language, Joel being a dilf, June once again not knowing how to properly end a fic, I think that’s it??

Joel is protective of his kids. Sometimes, a little too much, in your opinion but you didn’t marry him because he does things half-way. With each new addition to the family, his papa bear instincts grew and grew. And if you’re being completely honest, his protectiveness and love for his kids is part of the reason why you ended up with five kids to begin with.

When he was giving his interview to People during his Sexiest Man Alive shoot, he was asked what accomplishment of his he’s most proud of. Without missing a beat, he said, “my family.” He went into what little detail you use to talk about the kids in a public setting, even getting a little misty-eyed in the process. The second the crew was out of your house, you nearly jumped his bones right then and there. You found out you were pregnant with the girls about two months later.

So, yeah, he’s a great dad, and it’s super hot. Whatever. It’s universally known within your family that there’s almost nothing he wouldn’t do for his kids. He just loves them with everything he has and wants them to live full and happy lives. Which is fine until he bears his claws in public.

Following a particularly problematic documentary with some of today’s biggest stars, Joel was more than ready to say what had been on his mind when an interviewer stopped him on a red carpet and asked, “are there any people in the music industry you wouldn’t let your daughters date?” The daughters in question were never specified but it’s either between his married thirty-one year old, his lesbian (also married) twenty-eight year old, or his three year old twins. He wasn’t comfortable thinking about any option.

“My kids are free to date anyone they want, but we have a strict no assholes policy in our house.” He said and the interviewer raised her eyebrows. “Like I wouldn’t let ‘em date any of those idiots from that documentary.”

“Why do you say that?” The interviewer asked and Joel shrugged.

“My kids deserve better than some fucker in black eyeliner claimin’ to save rock ‘n roll when all he’s doing is being a sexist pig who makes shitty music.” By the time his words reached your ears, it was too late to stop him. The clip from the interview was making the rounds before you can even get home.

Paul, his poor, poor manager of several years, reaches out to him the next morning to ask if he wants to make a statement, amends, anything to smooth this over. Joel curtly responds to his long email with a short, “no,” and that ends the conversation. What’s even worse if you can’t even argue with him. He’s right. You’ve seen first hand how people in the music industry treat each other and it’s awful. Why should he be the one who gets shit on because he spotlighted other people’s behavior?

You are able to dodge questions, paparazzi, and others wanting to know the inside scoop for weeks until you feel yourself getting just as frustrated as Joel was. Leave it to the press to want the wife to offer explanation for her husband’s actions. It isn’t until you get an offer from Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen that you agree to even think about saying anything.

That night, Joel stays home with the kids and watches you walk out on stage with Carolina in a long bell bottoms, platform wedges, and your (Joel’s) favorite vintage band shirt. You and Carolina hug Andy and get some initial questions answered but it doesn’t take long before the subject turns to Joel.

“Now, I know everything’s been very hush, hush but Joel started a lot of discourse online about the music industry. What can you tell us about what he said?” He asks and you nod, smiling and playing with your wedding ring.

“That’s been like the question of the month, hasn’t it?” You joke to break the ice. “Look, I think we all saw the same documentary. We all heard what those men said and to act like we didn’t is, honestly, kind of ridiculous. Joel knows the industry better than I do and he knows that nothing is going to change unless you call out the people making it miserable for younger kids.”

“So, you agree with what he said?”

“One hundred percent. He was right that we have a no assholes policy for our kids but, other than that, we really don’t have rules about their dating lives,” you say. “And I think he was right to call out those guys. It’s not fair that they get protected by their little boys club and that just has to be the way things go. I think it’s bullshit.”

“You seem to feel passionately about this.” Andy says and you nod.

“Well, it’s not just because people are coming after my husband. It’s because we’ve both seen what any toxic environment can do to people which is why he owns his own label now.”

“And it’s doing very well. He just signed one of the biggest breakout stars of the year, didn’t he?”

“He did. And you know why it’s doing so well?” You ask, leaning in like you’re about to tell him a secret. “Because he doesn’t sign assholes. He doesn’t put his name next to theirs. He doesn’t even want to be associated with them because for as much as it’s his name, it’s also my name and our kids’ names. So, people can say whatever they want about what Joel said but I will support him and his mission and when his artists start winning Grammy’s and spots in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, we won’t even remember the names of the people who got fifteen minutes of fame and a shitty sound bite to show for themselves.” You say and somewhere in California, Joel nearly jumps out of his seat with excitement, praising you like you’re there with him.

The second you walk off stage, your phone lights up with Joel’s contact photo and you laugh as you answer it. “Will you marry me?” He asks before you can even say hello.

“I’m assuming you saw the show.”

“Saw it? Baby, I recorded it,” he says. “When are you comin’ home?”

“Tomorrow. You’re supposed to pick me up, remember?” You ask and he groans.

“You ain’t allowed to be that sexy on TV across the country.”

“Keep it your pants, cowboy. I’ll be home soon.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He sighs dejectedly like a ten-year-old.

When you get back to California the next day, the discourse has been put to rest and Joel is almost giddy when he watches you come down the escalator. The flowers in his hand get crushed when you hug him tight and let him kiss you like he hasn’t seen you in years. “Where are my children?” You ask when he finally pulls away and he smirks.

“With Ryan. The kids wanted to have a play date.”

“So, the house is empty?”

“And clean.”

“Joel Miller, will you marry me?” You echo his question from earlier and he laughs.

Then, like a perfect gentleman, he takes your suitcase, opens doors for you, and drive you home to properly fuck the shit out of you. (Author’s note: I want to put <3 right here so mf bad but I won’t because I’m a professional. PS old man rockstar!joel fucks severely. PPS it’s canon because I say so)

[this-is-krikkit]

Hii! If you're taking prompts then can you plz do some levihan on this:

'I've been born in the wrong timeline and the wrong gender!'

'And you realized that after sixteen years?'

hello! you're the first anon i don't feel i have to apologize to for taking too long to reply to a prompt lmao, hope you'll enjoy this!

of swords and crushes (1.4k words)

tags: levihan, modern AU (coffee shop AU if you squint), game of thrones references but you don't need to be a big fan to get em, GOT-typical violence mentioned

divider source

“I’m telling you, I was born in the wrong timeline and the wrong sex!” Hange exclaims, trading their branded apron for their civilian coat and giving a last minute check to the coffee shop for any obvious task they might have forgotten.

Levi clicks his tongue at them, not for the first time that day, and gestures for them to leave out the front door with him.

“And you only realized that after sixteen years, while watching a blockbuster series about sword fights and magic?”

“Yes! No? I don’t know, I just know I want to be a knight!” they whine, using the tone they know their coworker can hardly stand.

“You want to be a knight, or you want to do one of them?”

“Levi! How dare you put your dirty thoughts into my pure and innocent mind!”

“I may not watch that shit show myself, shitty glasses, but I’ve seen enough screen caps and memes to know no one innocent watches it. Not with those casting choices anyway.”

Hange’s glasses reflect the setting sun and hide their eyes even as they grin devilishly at him, and he groans at his own slip up.

“Oh, you’ve seen enough screen caps to have an opinion then? Tell me, which one strikes your fancy, Neat Freak? The sadist bastard who tortures people into becoming his slaves, or the annoyingly rich golden boy who had three kids with his own sister?”

He just stares at them for a minute, then shakes his head as he locks the front door.

“I swear this show gets worse every time I hear about it,” he mumbles under his breath. “Either way, the one I like best has green eyes, and I think his father was in Lord of The Rings or something?”

“Oh… You mean, Robb Stark?”

Levi glares their way, because how the fuck would he know, again? But Hange, as always immune to his stink eye, just pulls their phone out and hands it over after a quick search.

“Here, is that him? Oh my God, you’re blushing, it’s totally him!” they squeal before Levi can even confirm it with words.

“Shut up and help me pull this down,” he requests, gesturing to the iron shutter they have to secure before leaving. “He is cute,” he still feels the need to argue defensively as Hange complies.

They chuckle and bump their shoulder to his when they squat down to help him with the heavy padlock that secures the system in place.

“He is,” they agree with a reassuring smile, before letting a sigh out. “Shame that he dies in season three though.”

“What? I thought he was, like, the main character!”

“Well, he is, until, you know... he gets his throat slit at his cousin’s wedding, right after he sees his pregnant wife getting stabbed straight into her belly.”

Levi picks up his jaw from the floor and turns to face his coworker, waiting to see if there’s any chance they could be trying to pull one on him —they don’t usually have a strong enough poker face to actually trick him, but they’ve surprised him before in the year they’ve been sharing shifts on this shitty part time job.

“She dies too, of course! Along with everyone who was with them then,” Hange adds right away, like that’s somehow reassuring.

“Why the fuck do you watch this shit, Four Eyes?” he asks, genuinely confused about it all.

“Ah, sorry, I know you’re weird about this stuff. We can talk about something else if you want,” they offer with a sheepish smile, scratching the back of their neck in discomfort.

“I’m not weird about it,” Levi corrects, dismissing their concern with a wave of his hand, “and it’s fine to discuss. I just don’t like violence for the sake of violence, or for shock value. Feels lazy to me.”

“That’s not all there is to it!”

He gives them a pointed glance, and Hange has the decency to blush a little.

“Okay, it’s probably a big part of it… But the plot does justify it most of the time so far, and some characters are really interesting and fun to try to figure out, I think you’d enjoy it! Besides, the fighting scenes are so badass, Levi!”

They launch into a mock choreography of what he can only assume is one of those scenes, and Levi doesn’t bother holding back a chuckle as he walks alongside them. He ignores the puzzled looks from people who pass them by, throwing a glare or two whenever someone dares to stare for too long with judging eyes.

“How do you have so much energy after the shift you just pulled on top of a day in class, for fuck's sake? I really feel like I’m the older one here sometimes.”

And alright, Levi does have another, early and demanding job to go to while other kids his age are in school, which might explain his own state of tiredness. But Hange truly is something else, stamina-wise.

“That’s because you’re an old soul, Levi, whereas I’m brand new and enthusiastic about what the world has to offer! And about swords!”

“Yeah, right. Why don’t you sign up to fencing lessons and get it out of your system for good?”

“Sure, let me give up this side job I only took for the fun of it, ask my imaginary butler to fetch my thousand dollars allowance from my billionaire parents and I’ll do just that!”

He bites the inside of his cheek to prevent his smile from stretching too wide, even though he knows Hange will be able to tell they got him with that one anyway.

“Point taken,” he gives in.

The walk back to their subway station is silent, a little less comfortable than usual when they’re both painfully aware that Hange’s now thinking about their own financial issues —the unfortunate reason they even took this job and met Levi in the first place.

He looks around the industrial neighborhood they’re walking, and spots two long rusty metal pipes hanging out from a bin nearby. In a fit of renewed energy he didn’t suspect he could have, he rushes over there, grabs them —heavier than they look, but he knows they can both handle it— and throws one at Hange’s feet.

“Here you go, Sir Hange Zoë,” he declares, feeling absolutely ridiculous as he stands in what he hopes looks like a sword fighting position —he sure hopes Hange will give him a break, it’s not like he has a wide frame of reference for this. “Fight me.”

They chortle, the sound immediately brightening the mood —and Levi’s day.

“You don’t have to do this, Levi. You were right, it’s kind of childish.”

He frowns and charges, hitting their shin lightly with his shabby weapon. Hange’s eyebrows shoot up on their forehead, and he can tell they’re slowly giving in.

“Levi! You can’t attack a defenseless maiden, that’s not gentleman-y at all!”

“You’re not a maiden, dumbass. And who said I’m a gentleman?”

Next time he lunges, they block the blow thanks to their own pipe and send him stumbling back —with a force that would surprise anyone else considering how lanky they look in their baggy clothes, and a fire in their eyes that would no doubt freak them out too. Levi, however, has known for months now that the tall nerdy weirdo look is only a mask hiding a fierce, passionate kid who might just be the strongest person he’s ever met —in more ways than one.

Sadly, they’re also much more —how did they put it again? Oh, right— enthusiastic about the whole fighting thing than he’d foreseen, and he soon finds himself having an actual hard time holding them off. One of their well placed hits shatters the pipe he was holding in his hold, and he thanks his lucky star that the combat has to end as he puts both hands up.

“Alright, I yield! You’re right, Four Eyes, you would have made a great knight.”

“Thank you!” they reply with a wink and a graceless curtsy.

Hange throws their pipe back into the trash can, before holding out their hand to ask for the some of the hand gel Levi’s already rubbing on his palms. He throws them a disapproving look, more for show than anything else, and gives them some —really, he’s kind of excited that they’re finally getting some of his neat freak habits, as they always call them.

“So, I won, right?” they ask him when they start walking again.

“Tch, I guess you did,” he grants them, not up to point out how questionable that statement is when really, breaking your opponent’s weapon has to be against the rules, right?

“Then my prize is... that you have to watch the next season with me!”

He spends the rest of the walk and the three subway stations they share trying to get out of that commitment.

(He fails.)

[your-source-is-what-now]

What’s up party people! Im Johnny Roast, a Venturian tale fictive!

I use He/Him pronouns and I will be the person mostly posting on this blog

—

Anywho you may be wondering what this very cool blog is for? Well this blog is geared towards building a community for my fellow niche fictives, because so many other fandoms have their own blogs and if we want world domination then we need to rally together.

As of right now we do offer requests for the following

- Custom Sysboxes

- Collages

- Fashion kits (aka you tell me your source and using my elite fashion sense I give you clothing styles that give the right vibes)

- Shitty wallpapers

- Source themed memes

- ID kits

(If i can figure out how to make stimboards those will be added to the list)

(Please note that I do not guarantee any quality in my wares)

Confessions, Canon Calls, Vents, Or just plain ol chatting is always welcome!

—

We ask that you keep syscourse out of this blog pls and thank

—

Anon tags!

- 🎣

- 🦎

[wannaeatramyeon]

So this post turned out to be a lie.

Again, can I please offer you our babygirl in the form of this shitty meme that I find hilarious:

So... Idk what to say. I've been possessed for the last few days and churned out another fic. A pretty fluffy, no angst, strangers to lover, 13k bs. It's now COMPLETE. (Ish. I still need to read it from the top 🥴)

And I realise I hate writing Gun jfc he's so fucking hard to pin down 😭 Sorry for any OOC-ness and my own fanon version creeping into all my characterisations.

Thanks again to anyone that has even read a word, all the lovely comments and tags and EVERYTHING. Anyone that has given feedback or I have pestered. And ofc all my patient anons and requesters 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Gun Park x Reader : this is our place (we make the rules)

Gun has a new neighbour.

Index: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Epilogue

Crawling back under the bridge with my brainrot 👋

[lunarriviera]

I love your writing!💕

For the fic meme: may I request heihua, and arranged marriage AU (are they marrying? Is Xiazi going to help him run away from his shitty arranged marriage? Who knows!)

AAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THIS ONE, and you pretty much handed it to me on a silver tray with a doily, okay here goes.

* "This is so stupid," says Wu Xie, and Xiao Hua can't help but agree. He looks down at his wedding dress, a pink so dark it's almost red, and tries not to clench his fists in the silk. It had been his grandmother's, and he's dreamed his whole life of wearing it. Just not like this. But he'd always known this day would come, the day when the Xie family would be forced by the Jiumen to marry him off. It could be worse, he tells himself for the thousandth time. It could be someone he hates. Or it could be someone he loves, but not in that way, like Xiuxiu. At least he and Wu Xie are good friends. At least—

The door to their new bedroom flies open and a bodyguard falls in, face first, unconscious. He and Wu Xie stare as Hei Xiazi steps over the body, sliding a knife back into its scabbard. He smiles at them delightedly, as though he hasn't just violently crashed a wedding night. "Hua'er, are you ready?" Fucking finally. "More than," says Xiao Hua, standing up. He ignores Wu Xie's gobsmacked expression, and reaches under the bed for his already-packed bag. The passports had been most difficult to obtain, but Xiao Hua's fortune had expedited their preparation nicely. "I thought you might want to change first," says Hei Xiazi, slowly, sparing the time to give Xiao Hua a thorough up-and-down. "Not that you don't look—absolutely fucking stunning, by the way." Xiao Hua smiles, and it's not his nicest one. "Why would I do that, when you're so visibly pleased? Just get me out of here, Xiazi."

"I can cover for you," Wu Xie offers, and Xiao Hua always knew there was a reason why they were best friends.

*

send me a pairing and an AU and i’ll write you a ficlet!

[somebodytolove31]

Midsommar is not a "good for her" movie, but it's understandable that people think that

Content warnings for: cult stuff, discussions of heavy topics such as rape, suicide and grooming, a lot of gaslighting

So I watched Midsommar recently, it's good, it has it's flaws (which I will talk about in a later post probably) but it's a solid 8/10 for me

One of the first things I do when I watch a movie is see what the internet thinks about it. I enjoy seeing the reviews of other people and funny memes and whatever else I can find. So imagine my surprise when I found out that people think Midsommar is a "good for her" movie

And like, no???

For those who aren't aware, a "good for her" movie is, as the term implies, a movie with a woman protagonist that makes you go "good for her" when it finishes, think for example of Knives Out, usually movies like these involve the protagonist in question cheating the system to get what they want, even if it's done on a morally (or legally) gray way. People classify Midsommar as a "good for her" movie because of the ending, in which the main character burns down her shitty boyfriend inside a bear

If you haven't watched the movie you may probably think "oh wow, well that's a good ending right?", and out of context, yes, in context however? this action is the representation of her leaving her life behind and joining a murder cult

From that fact you now may think "well how the fuck do people think that's a good ending?", but here's the thing, Midsommar does a great job at deceiving the audience into thinking the cult is not that bad, and the main way of doing this is through the main character we talked about, Dani.

At the start of the movie, Dani is in one of the lowest points of her life, her family has just died because of her sister’s suicide, she is in a shitty relationship, and it is implied that she has mental health issues of her own. Through the course of the movie however, she is helped by the cult, they offer her a “peaceful” place to be in while she grieves, she is often complimented, and they even burn down her abusive boyfriend by the end. From her perspective, this place has done nothing but help her, even if it’s done in non-traditional ways.

Except they don’t. Everything they do is simply a way to brainwash her into becoming a part of their community and use her. The cult still murdered 5 innocent people, they still forced Dani’s boyfriend to "mate" with a minor, they still make people kill themselves when they turn 72, they still inbreed, they still drug you without consent.

If this movie was played out through the point of view of anyone else, it would be seen as a horrifying tale of a death cult tricking a friend into becoming one of them, but it’s because of the emotional position Dani is in that we see them as saviors.

Even I was brainwashed by them in one scene, the one where Dani sees her boyfriend "cheating" on her and has a panic attack (a link for those who haven't seen the movie and are curious). Panic attacks are something I suffer from often, it’s gotten better with therapy, but it’s still horrible when I experience it, so when I saw the women of the cult gather around Dani, caressing her and screaming with her, my first thought was “wow, I wish I had a group like that, people that would scream with me when I’m feeling horrible”, it wasn’t until I really thought about the scene later on that I realized, wait, that scene wasn’t good! they are not helping her, they are just acting as if they know her pain, they are simply shifting Dani’s hopelessness to anger even though they're the ones that caused the hopelessness in the first place

This is a tactic not only used by cults, but by many people who want to indoctrinate you, as a simple example, think of all of those alpha male channels that play into the insecurities of men to tell them that women are the problem.

This is why people think the ending is a happy ending, their fear is shifted to anger, and they feel relieved when Chris is burned, just as the cult did with Dani

TL,DR: no one is immune to propaganda, so be on the look out for ways people might want to indoctrinate you

[mha-grievances]

Ok, so I know that I constantly criticize MHA. I constantly bitch and moan about how much missed potential there are in the series, how the pacing is ass, how Hori’s comedy is atrocious, how there are many plot holes, how Katsuki is an utterly shit character, yada yada yada. The way you see me talk about MHA probably makes you think that I feel it’s the worst anime of all time.

Trust me, it’s far from the worst thing that’s out there. Like any sort of media, anime is littered with some bizarre, atrocious stuff.

Future Diaries is an anime that has cemented itself as a hugely influential aspect of pop culture, Yuno being THE character that defines the idea of a Yandere. However the series goes into batshit crazy territory that makes absolutely no sense, the MC is all kinds of shitty, and, well, shit happens just to happen.

Redo of Healer is revenge r*pe fantasy that has no well defined characters. They’re either comically fucked up or just there to contribute to the MC’s harem. Also magic sperm.

Pupa is an incest anime (yes, anime, not hentai) about a sister who needs to eat flesh to survive and a boy who can regenerate. For the sake of your sanity, I’m not going to talk about this further.

School Days goes off the rails and has perhaps some of the most unlikable characters to ever exist, including the MC himself. Meant to subvert the typical romance visual novel, things get into wtf territory fast. Honestly I constantly debate whether School Days is a masterpiece in what it does or if it falls under the same pit traps that other series that aim to “subvert expectations” does.

These series (except for perhaps School Days, still tryna figure out where I stand on it) are far worse than MHA, which is incompetent at worst.

So why do I criticize MHA rather than these series?

Well, MHA is an interesting beast. Future Diaries, Redo of Healer, and Pupa know what they are. They know that their storytelling isn’t the best. They know that they’re fantasies for perverts, people who just wanna watch something fucked up, those who like the shock factor/harem aspects, all that stuff. They don’t try to be anything more than what they are, and there’s nothing wrong with that (and by that I mean there’s nothing wrong with them not being deep. Whether the content shown might be is a different topic all together). MHA is a series that tries to offer commentary on the real world and wants us to take it seriously, but there are barriers that stop this from happening. Whether it’s Hori failing to allow his MC to breathe which makes things feel angsty for the sake of it, his failure to tackle the themes in a meaningful and non-hypocritical manner, his “comedy”, missed potential that he doesn’t capitalize on or cares to, the creation of characters meant to embody certain themes but fail at doing so (Katsuki, Shota, etc.), fake tension that goes nowhere, or Hori springing shit at the last minute to up the stakes but only makes people scratch their heads. MHA is a series that, despite it being a colorful world of superheroes and having a charming set of characters, is meant to serve as a criticism of society and a dive into what it means to be a hero. Sadly it fails to do this accurately. I can meme and shit on Pupa, Future Diaries, and Redo of Healer, but besides edgy 12 year olds on YouTube who think they’re philosophers, everyone will pretty much agree that these anime aren’t good. Even the fans will agree. Wildly entertaining as fuck, yes, but not good, and they weren’t designed to be good or thought provoking. They were designed to appeal to a certain demographic and keep them entertained as they turn their brains off. MHA however demands that we use our brains, to analyze the material that’s being shown and to question ourselves, but it sabotages its themes at numerous points and that’s what makes MHA the subject of my analysis. It’s a series that ultimately fails at what it’s trying to do, and what it’s trying to do is pretty big. Take Katsuki for example. MHA is constantly shoving down my throat that Katsuki is a good person and that he’s worthy of being a hero, but it does it in an obnoxious way and constantly contradicts itself with Katsuki’s actions. Meanwhile the other anime I mentioned don’t bother propping their characters like the second coming of Christ, some even embracing the fact that a character is shitty, and if they do try shoving down my throat a character is good, it’s done in such a laughably bad way that it’s far more funny than it is annoying.

To me it’s interesting HOW MHA manages to fail at what it’s trying to do and it serves as an example of what works and doesn’t work when writing a similar series. In MHA what works really works and shows that there is immense potential in MHA to be something amazing, further proven by the fact that some of the characters and some of the arcs are well written. However what doesn’t work really reduces the quality of the series and makes you wonder how one writer can understand the assignment in some instances and completely bomb it in others (especially in key moments where the writer is meant to give it their all and showcase WHY their series is so popular and WHY they chose to write this series and about certain topics rather than do something else).

So yeah, if you wonder why this blog was made, and why MHA over everything else, now you know 😂.

[heyheydidjaknow]

Hey, how's your fancy little otome project going bestie

My life is going to be shorter because of my silly lil otome project. I don’t think I’ll be able to share what I’m done here at any point— honestly, I don’t think people here specifically would care to see it— but I’m using this opportunity to do a fun thing for me.

Mystic Messenger Love Interests Ranked By How Likely I Would Be To Encourage My Friend To Dump Their Ass (From Least To Most Likely)

Jaehee Kang: I have no complaints about a motivated career woman who likes musicals and is freaked out by understandably strange things. Black belt in Judo? Green flag: girl knows how to defend herself and you. I would wish you (you are my friend in this scenario by the way) the best with your coffee shop adventures and only judge you a little for entering into a business with a woman you just let.

Hyun “Zen” Ryu: He’s an alcoholic, smoking, struggling actor with an inflated ego but he seems to treat you well enough and he has the decency to offer his place to keep you away from the bomb apartment you decided to wander into so he’s okay. If he’s your type, he’s your type; who am I to judge?

Jihyun “V” Kim: His being in an organization named after his dead fiancé whose apartment you’re now living in is a bit unfortunate but he makes stable money and has cool hair and has only threatened your safety via negligence so he’s okay for now. Thin ice with that boy but he’ll slide for now.

Yoosung Kim: The first time you tell me he has compared you to his dead cousin is when he goes from a soft yes to a firm and definitive no. It’s one thing to compare someone you’re interested in to an ex, but comparing them to a family member puts you into a weirdly familial role that you shouldn’t be in. I understand he’s a cute subby softboy gamer but you can aim higher even amongst the singles in this pool.

Saeyoung “707” Choi: You met a man who didn’t tell you his name for the majority of your time together and let you stay in an apartment with a bomb in it that he installed even after his homicidal twin brother showed up and threatened to kill you and then treated you shitty because he couldn’t figure out his feelings and now wants you to risk your life to find said homicidal brother instead of waiting for him to come back from a dangerous mission that you have no business being a part of because of an e-relationship you had which consisted mostly of him telling you not to like him because he’s a walking red flag and exchanging memes? Oh, and he thought putting a bomb in an occupied apartment building was a good enough idea to put into action? Great idea, man; trauma’s the most solid foundation for a relationship.

Jumin Han: I know that you have a daddy kink. I am not kink-shaming you. I know you think he’s classy and funny. I will concede his suits are nice. This does not excuse your desire to stay with a man who is keeping you in his apartment against your will and is fully ready to keep you in a cage as a replacement for his cat. He treats the only for-sure green flag like shit and seemingly only likes you because you’re the first person to think he’s hot for reasons only tangentially related to his money. Do not wander into a random apartment twice. Get on Tinder and find yourself a better sugar daddy that knows what a safe word is and had friends.

Saeran “Ray” Choi: You want the physically abusive cult higher-up who kept you against your will in cult headquarters? The one who was nice to you for maybe half the time you knew him and then starved you until you put out? The one who just totally ignored your lack of consent and tried to arrange for your torture? Because you say he’s changed back into being a nice guy and was just being manipulated by magic juice? I don’t know how high he got you to let yourself get into a windowless van for a fun field trip to play some video games but it was apparently incredibly strong and should honestly be sold to the government. Send your address so I can come pick you up and get you laid so you never do that shit again.

[jewishbarbies]

god i hate being in queer spaces & bookish spaces because i just want one (1) person to not be completely obsessed with taylor swift. also don't make me talk about the deliberate misinterpretation of books & texts they make to associate them with her songs. like i HATE the posts which are like '*insert book/couple* as taylor swift songs'. like i don't even hate her music?? but i just hate her omnipresence in social media. also i hate being in queer spaces because 1) it's overrun by cis white men who are obsessed with her 2) she's absolutely everywhere in wlw spaces as well?? and i HATE how the music industry bends over backwards (especially white queer musicians) as if she's the queer music pope when she's not??? how it ignores actual queer musicians in favour of her straight ass songs?? like someone please tell swifties to not make liking a musician their entire personality trait? the one photo of phoebe bridgers bowing before taylor swift which has been already circulating as memes makes my blood boil so much. like can we please stop acting like she's from a different planet? hello???? it also feels like they don't care about her art (because midnights is such a bad album ugh) but only about her persona & it's so tiring to see people gaslighting themselves into being 'she can do no wrong uwu'

THIS OH MY GOD

It's so infuriating. a taylor album drops and magically every ship ever fits every single song. they completely butcher characters and ships and act like it's sooo accurate, and YOU'RE the problem if you don't agree. every song is straight as fuck because taylor is straight so a wlw song is acktually "from a male pov" anyway, according to her, so queer ships just get the Straight Anthems and shitty "bops". like, there are actually real life queer musicians making music right now, but nooooo we need the blonde white woman who's straighter than a 2x4.

it's always "if you don't like taylor swift there's something wrong with you", and never "if you can't acknowledge taylor is a capitalist, christian white woman taking up spaces she should never have been offered and does not, will not, and has never cared about the individual fan beyond what they can do for HER, while casually enjoying the songs like a normal person, there's something wrong here."

[pythianoracle]

PSA About Some Shady Shit on Tumblr

This post is to bring light to some shady marketing on tumblr. This is not about an individual, but rather as a company posing as an aesthetic/meme account in order to get people to buy from their shitty drop shipping company.

I am making this post because I am sick of covert marketing and drop shippers over charging for the same stuff that can be found for cheaper and by the actual company. I am also concerned for the possible hazard of drop shipped items that need to be food safe in order to use.

Tumblr user @/my-kawaii—world is a drop shipping company pretending to be an aesthetic blogger who happens to “find” links to all the products in posts. All these links lead to the same drop shipping company website: Lavender Constellation. Under the cut is evidence to support my claim.

Alt text has been added for accessibility.

Hey, so I’m really not one to make posts like this, but I saw something that rlly sketched me out that some people may want to be aware of.

So, someone I follow reblogged this really cute teapot that my-kawaii—world posted!

[ID: a screenshot of a tweet reposted by user my-kawaii—world on tumblr. The post reads “losing my mind over this frog teapot my best friend gave me”. Attached to the tweet are two images showing a green frog teapot with two black tadpole cups. ID END]

Seems innocent enough, right? But then you scroll to the end of the post.

[ID: A screenshot of the bottom of the previous post by my-kawaii—world. Attached is a link to a storefront in green and pink text that reads “**Update For the people asking I asked her and she bought the frog tea set HERE🐸. ID END]

I thought “dang, a ton of people must have been asking them if they went to all that extra effort”, so I decided to check the tags.

[ID: A screenshot of the post reblogs with the user names blocked out in red to respect privacy. From top to bottom, the tags read: #cat #basically #cats and #haha. ID END]

Why would people be tagging this with cats if it has nothing to do with cats? Looking further, if you open up a reblog, you see this.

[ID: A screenshot a reblog that shows a different tweet. Punctuation has been added to alt text for readability. The tweet reads as follows: “Me: Invents a device to talk to cats. Cat: Oh god, finally you understand me. When ever I meow for hours it’s because I want wet food. I know this was so opaque for you. Me: No no, I knew you want wet food the whole time, but you can’t have it whenever you want. Cat: (blank space) Me: (blank space) Cat: first of all, fuck you,”. ID END]

They’re retroactively editing their high note posts to give more credibility to the shit they’re selling. Here is the listing on the linked website

[ID: a screenshot of a website called “Lavender Constellation”. The website has a light purple background with darker purple text. The listing image is of a green frog teapot with two black tadpole cups on a pink background and labeled “TEA SET FROG & TADPOLE”. The item’s original price is listed as $149.95 USD and is listed as on sale for $79.99 USD. ID END]

Wow isn’t it so cool that it’s on sale right now? Save over $60 USD? What a steal! They also offer free world-wide shipping and have a coupon code you can use. Crazy.

Upon further digging, the real teapot is the frog from the サンアート aka sunart brand, specifically from their parent and child collection. And guess what? You can get it on Amazon for less than half the price, even after the “sale”.

[ID: a screenshot of the same green frog teapot and black tadpole cups listen on Amazon. At the bottom are options to select, including Frog Parent, Elephant Parent, and an additional one that is cut off. The frog parent is $32.96 USD and the elephant parent is $26.22 USD. ID END]

I looked into the brand and they seem to specifically make ceramics additionally, the options to pick less popular options that I don’t see nearly as many bootlegs of make me pretty confident this is the actual product.

This is far from the only post they’ve done this with. Looking at their blog, you’ll see a sea of ads for their original posts, all linking to the same store:

[ID: A screenshot of a post by my-kawaii—world. The post is cut off due to the size of the device it was taken on. In the screenshot, there is an image of a silver sword ring with a skull on the pommel and a chain connecting the pommel to the cross-guard. Below the image is a link that red, bolded, and underlined text that reads: “OMG, I FINALLY FOUND THE RIGHT WITH FREE SHIPPING!!!!”. ID END]

And then following the link, we get taken right back to the Lavender Constellation website:

[ID: A screenshot of the same Lavender Collection Website from before with a pale purple background and darker purple text. The listing photo is of a person’s hand with a silver ring in the shape of a sword. It has a skull on the pommel and a chain connecting the pommel to the cross-guard. The listing is labeled “STAINLESS STEEL GOTH SWORD RING” in purple text. ID END]

If you go to their page, you will see a ton of other examples of this. Hell, I have even more examples, but I feel this post is long enough as is. I’m frankly fed up with people doing this shit, especially charging over double the price of an original product for a shitty knock off.

I’m not going to comment of the safety of these products (i.e., if the knock off teapot is food safe or not) because I don’t plan on buying one to test for lead, but that is a genuine risk you have when buying drop shipped products. For example, counterfeit makeup is well known for containing chemicals that can be harmful to the skin due because they’re much cheaper than the skin safe stuff. Here is a research article that discusses some of the harmful effects that unregulated, counterfeit makeup can have on your skin. The article is open access, so don’t worry about being blocked by a paywall.

Again, I don’t know if the counterfeit teapot is food safe or not, I haven’t been able to find any posts discussing the bootleg, or even Lavendar Constellation as a whole, but with stuff like this, it’s much better to be safe than sorry.

I am positive my-kawaii—world and Lavender Constellation are not the only people running operations like this on tumblr, I’m sure there are a shit ton more. Most will probably run the same way as my-kawaii—world. Essentially if you go to a page that posts a ton of cute, aesthetic products and they link to the same website for every single thing, it’s probably a drop shipping scam.

I’m not someone who thinks I’m “morally superior” for buying only name brand stuff, hell I own a few bootleg plushies, but items that need to food safe are not something I personally would fuck around with. And even if these bootlegs are food safe, the fact that they are charging over double the price of the original is so ludicrous and inexcusable.

Personally, I recommend blocking the @/my-kawaii—world account. Don’t micromanage people who have already reblogged from them unless they’re a friend, mutual, etc. Basically, don’t harass strangers who happened to reblog the original post or the edited post. Just get the word out there about this account.

Do I think my post will shut down their site and drive them off Tumblr? Probably not. But the more people that know about this specific scam and scams like it, the better.

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 10

It's a shitty episode, that's what this is.

Why does this episode suck? Well, we start off with Kaji taking Asuka shopping for bathing suits. She's going on a school trip to Okinawa, you see. She asks him if he went on any school trips when he was her age, and he says he couldn't because Second Impact was happening back then. Anyway, Kaji sucks and I hate him.

As it turns out, she can't even go on the stupid trip, because NERV wants the Eva pilots on standby in case of an Angel attack. You'd think this would be a standing order year-round, but Asuka is gobsmacked to find out she's not allowed to just do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. You're in the army now, kid.

Here's the thing about Asuka. I was kind of looking forward to her introduction into the story, because Rei and Shinji were practically comatose throughout the early episodes of this show. At least she would bring some energy to this thing, I thought. And she does, but mostly it's a whiny, bratty, irrational energy that gets old pretty quickly. When Misato tells Asuka she can't go on the trip, Asuka demands to know who gave the order. Well, Misato did, dummy. She's your commanding officer. When she can't argue with that, she argues with Shinji, expecting him to say something to resolve this, like he has any control over the situation. But Shinji kind of expected this to happen, so he never got excited about the trip in the first place.

This is the origin of that "so you've given up?" meme. I always took it at face value. That is, I assumed the scene was Asuka asking Shinji if he was quitting something hard, and he just casually admits that he's collapsing in the face of adversity. But the actual context is that Asuka is trying to cajole Shinji into the impossible task of getting them a furlough from their indispensable child soldier jobs. When that doesn't work, he insults his manhood, then asks Misato why they don't just find the Angels and destroy them first, so they're not always on stand-by to defend against an attack. Misato's like, kid, if we knew how to do that, don't you think we'd have already done it?

Misato points out that both Shinji and Asuka can use the downtime to catch up on their studies, seeing as their grades haven't been very good. At this, Asuka tries to claim that the school's grading system is irrelevant. Kid, just shut up. You're not gonna win this one.

Anyway, Big Rigg Mahoney sends his regards from Okinawa.

So at the base, Shinji studies, and Asuka tries to do scuba diving in the pool, since she can't do it at Okinawa. Turns out Asuka's already graduated college? She claims the physics problem Shinji is working on is easy, but her grades were poor because she hasn't learned enough Kanji to read the questions. Also Asuka wonders aloud if thermal expansion would make her bust bigger. I wasn't going to say anything, but I think the animators on this episode already made her bust bigger, because Asuka looks like Boa Hancock in this turkey.

Meanwhile, a joint NERV-SSDF mission discovers a juvenile Angel inside a volcano. This is a huge opportunity to study the things and learn more about them, so the Eva pilots are mobilized to go in and retrieve it.

Asuka insists on being the one to actually made the dive, because I guess she drank like fifteen cups of coffee before this episode started. Settle down, dammit.

Asuka is chosen to make the dive, but her Eva will have to wear this dorky looking exosuit to withstand the temperature and pressure.

Also, Asuka herself has to wear a modified plugsuit that looks like this for... some reason? It's supposed to protect her from the heat, but she's going to be surrounded by the Eva, which will also be surrounded by an exosuit. How much more protection does she need? And why does inflating the plugsuit make it safer?

Asuka whines about these intolerable conditions, until Rei offers to pilot Unit 02 in her place. Asuka quickly changes her mind, since she can't bear the thought of getting left out of the mission. Geez, she's like a toddler!

So we go on the mission, and Asuka asks if Kaji will be here to see her in action, and Misato informs her that this is none of his damn business. It's called "professionalism", Asuka, look into it.

As they prepare, Misato explains that if the Angel can't be captured, or if it matures into adult form, then they'll have to destroy it. And if they fail, the UN will blow up the whole volcano, and all of them along with it. Shinji asks who would order such extreme measures, and duh, it's his dad, the guy in charge of the whole organization.

From here, most of the episode looks like it was filmed inside a Nintendo Virtual Boy. This probably was considered pretty badass in the late 90s, but no, it looks like crap. They just keep lowering Asuka further and further down in search of this thing, and then she finds it and puts it in some kind of rectangle.

Rectangle secured, mission accomplished, OR IS IT?

Turns out the Angel hatches just as Asuka starts heading back for the surface, and the device she used to contain the Angel can't handle its adult form. Misato orders her to release it and head back to the surface as quickly as she can.

The fight sucks because you can't see anything. Asuka had a "progressive knife" when she went down, but she dropped it during the descent. So Shinji tosses down his own and she catches it and fights back, but the thing is still incredibly strong and durable, becuase it lives inside a volcano for crying out loud.

At last, Asuka remembers that conversation about thermal expansion and uses that to win. Something about diverting the coolant in her Eva while she attacks with the progressive knife, but I can't see what she's doing and I probably wouldn't understand it anyway. The Angel disintegrates... I guess? And she returns to the surface.

So Misato takes them to a hot spring near the volcano to celebrate a job well done. The girls ask Shinji to toss them a bottle of shampoo over the retaining wall, and then he hears them... tickling each other? And he gets a boner? I guess that's a joke? A plot point? Why the fuck is this in the show?

There's also a cryptic exchange between Misato and Asuka. Misato has a scar on her abdomen which she says she got during Second Impact. Asuka asks Misato if she knows about her past, and Misato does but assures Asuka that they need to put it behind them. So I guess we'll find out what that means one of these days.

And there we are. This was dumb. Most of the show was Asuka babbling like an idiot, or people watching machines lower other machines into lava. The show continues to drop all these hints and clues about the characters' backstories, but it never puts any of the pieces together. It just gets really formulaic, and I think the best evidence of this is the fact that I got mixed up while playing this DVD, and I accidentally watched Episode 11 first, thinking it was 10. So I had to go back and watch this one, but I could have just as easily skipped it, because nothing happened that had any long-term consequences.

[deathfavor]

@kisumshi said: ❝I don’t want to kiss you with your alcohol breath.❞   dorahan

drinking meme

   Hanma doesn’t normally get drunk. He has cheap, watery beers fairly often and harder drinks every now and then. He’s usually only tipsy at worst, his alcohol tolerance as freakish as his stamina and endurance. This is different. His throat still burns from the alcohol but he can’t find it anywhere in him to give a shit about that. Good. Let it burn. It at least feels like something. It’s better than feeling nothing as far as he’s concerned.

   Amber eyes narrow at the comment and he scoffs. “ What the fuck is that about all of a sudden? Anything other than shitty beer suddenly unacceptable? You’ve kissed me plenty of times before. “ Maybe it’s the taste of the alcohol. Maybe it’s just Draken’s attempt to be better. ( Except it’s not an attempt, it’s the truth. He is better. ) Or maybe because he’s clearly drunk off his ass but somehow still functioning. He glowers at the other and looks like he might punch him. He doesn’t. He shoves himself off of the wall he’d pinned Draken against and takes a few languid steps back. After a moment, he reaches into his pocket and fumbles for a cigarette.

   “ Fine. No kissing. Wanna fuck me then? “  Hanma asks, blunt and to the point while he reaches for his lighter. “ I’ll let you top. You can do whatever you want. “ Sugar to sweeten the offer, lips curved up into a sharp smile. They do it plenty fine sober, so he can’t fathom this mattering. If he says no? Hanma’s sure he can find some pretty thing for tonight and break their heart in the morning. The cigarette dangles between two long fingers, an eyebrow raised in expectation of an answer.