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rosanna-writer · 1 year

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this love is difficult but it's real (2/2)

Ch. 1 is here. Read on AO3 or under the readmore

Summary: Rhysand allows one hand to turn into a claw, a display of that Spring Court shifting ability Feyre's never seen up close. "Even roses have their thorns, Feyre darling."

Feyre runs a mental talon down his shields and watches him shiver ever so slightly. She snarls, baring her teeth. "I'm not your darling."

"Not yet."

A tiny part of Feyre hopes that's a promise. But mostly, she's irritated he's being an absolute prick when she's wearing a dress she can't properly fight in. She reaches for her foot, grabs the only projectile she has, and hurls her shoe at him.

Or:

Rhys is the son of the High Lord of the Spring Court and an Illyrian seamstress. Feyre is the half-wild youngest daughter of the High Lord of the Night Court. After making eyes at each other across a bonfire in Illyria, they meet for trysts in the woods that turn into something more. War with Hybern and an inter-court feud might tear them apart, but they always find their way back to each other.

Pairing: Feysand

A/N: Time for the "Hello Rhysand darling" wedding crashing chapter I built this fic around! Please note this chapter does have discussions of forced marriage.

Feyre's only been in the mountains long enough to destroy a few trees when Cassian and Azriel land in front of her. They give her a wide berth, but she's too upset to realize it's because they're worried her grip on her magic might slip completely.

"This is for you," Azriel says, tossing her a set of leathers.

Feyre catches it between her palms to avoid shredding it with her talons. She looks down at the leathers, confused. "What for?" she says.

"We saw a dark spot in the forest and figured you might need to hit something," Cassian says with a shrug.

Feyre uses her magic to shift herself into the leathers. Gods, she must be producing quite the cloud of darkness if it was visible from the air. "Thanks," she says.

Cass and Az take turns sparring with her until she gets her head on straight. The darkness fades. In between punches, she tells them all about how quickly relations between Spring and Night have gone to shit. They're also furious at being separated from their brother, and the fighting does them some good, too.

Eventually, Feyre's exhausted, out of breath, and covered in smears of mud and pine needles from all the times the Illyrians have knocked her down. But she's thinking clearly now.

There's sweat beading on her brow despite the chill wind. As she wipes it away, she says, "We're going to get him back. We're going to fix this." She's not sure if it's directed at Cass and Az, or if she's just musing aloud about the plan forming in her head. She says goodbye and winnows back to the city.

The next day, Feyre swallows her fury. She tells her father she feels she's coming into her own as an emissary and asks for a bigger role as Night's representative in other courts. He agrees.

It's her best shot at seeing Rhys again.

If she throws herself into enough diplomatic work, there's almost certainly a chance they'll be invited to the same inter-court event. And if not, anywhere else she could go in Prythian is closer to Spring, so she might be able to maintain a better mental connection there. And if they can coordinate, they can fix this.

She gets her first break on a trip to Winter to discuss a trade agreement with Viviane, who's been left to run the court while Kallias is negotiating the treaty. After a full day of discussions, Feyre sits by the fire in her room, wrapped in furs, and strokes Rhys's mind with an affectionate talon. Even though he's still faint, it's less taxing on her daemati abilities to reach him from here.

RHYS! she says, breaking into a grin even though he can't see her.

You sound closer. Where are you? he says.

Winter.

Another trip? You're well on your way to charming all of Prythian.

Feyre can't help but shake her head. She certainly doesn't feel charming. Striking a balance between coming off as intimidating enough not to mess with but friendly enough to strike a deal with isn't simple. Kallias, Viviane, and their advisors, at least, have been the easiest to understand—Winter is harsh, a bit like Illyria.

I'd find a way to charm a rabid naga if it meant getting closer to you. She can sense laughter from him, but it has a strained quality to it. Has something happened?

The Spring Court is rosy as ever.

More of that strained-sounding humor. Feyre hesitates for a moment, then says, Are you safe?

Yes. But my father has been more unpleasant than usual. He's forbid my mother from leaving the manor.

Feyre expected that—from what Rhys has said before, his father has been even more paranoid and quick to anger since the start of negotiations. But still, it's awful to hear it confirmed.

And Rhiannon?

Still lucky our father considers her beneath his notice.

As a female, Rhiannon hadn't been allowed to train in Illyria, and their father had written off the possibility that she could ever inherit. In some ways, it's for the best. Feyre now understands that it's what gave Rhiannon enough freedom to send her those letters without much fear of them being intercepted. No one treats her as a threat, even if they should.

I miss you, Rhys. I'm sorry I haven't been able to fix this.

I miss you, too. It's not your responsibility. We may be able to get my father to see reason.

Feyre doubts they'll ever be able to, only potentially strong-arm the High Lord of Spring into doing what they want. But she's not about to tell Rhys that, not when he's doing his best to hold things together.

I'll see you soon. I promise.

Her magic reserves are getting depleted, so Feyre just stays in his mind long enough to hear him say, Get some rest.

---

There's another month of feeling empty before things start to change. Feyre spends it doing everything she can to get closer to Spring and reminding herself none of this can be fixed in a day. Scraps of communication with Rhys aren't enough, but she makes do.

Treaty negotiations pause to give the High Lords a chance to handle their courts' domestic affairs before meeting again, and Feyre's sent on a diplomatic trip to Day to discuss rebuilding efforts at their shared border.

When she arrives, Helion greets her and says, "Apologies for the late notice, but this morning, Spring's emissary decided to extend his visit. Am I correct in assuming that won't be a problem?" His smile makes it obvious he thinks it's the exact opposite of a problem.

Feyre blinks. She can't understand why Helion's looking at her like she should be pleased.

"Lucien is here?" she says uncertainly. Lucien is a friend of Rhys's, exiled to Spring after leaving Autumn, but Feyre has only met him a few times.

"No," Helion says. "Rhysand will be here another week."

Feyre stills. A week is exactly the length of her trip. There's no way this was an accident. "Thank you," she says. Too stunned to ask in a way that's more subtle, she adds, "Why did you do this for us?"

"With our territories between both of yours, friendly relations between Night and Spring are a boon for everyone. Most of Prythian is rooting for you two." Helion's eyes go sad for a moment, and he continues, "And it's always a tragedy when squabbling between courts strangles young love."

Feyre understands he's speaking from experience, and it makes her heart squeeze. She also didn't realize she and Rhys had made such an impression, either—they'd really only been together outside of Illyria once. Perhaps they hadn't been nearly as subtle as they thought.

She recovers enough to act the part of the courtier again and says, "Then I hope this will be a fruitful visit."

Helion shows her the way to her rooms and leaves her to freshen up before dinner. Feyre pushes open the door to the suite and finds Rhys on the bed, arms crossed behind his head and his long legs stretched out in front of him. "Miss me, Feyre darling?" he says.

"Not when you're putting your shoes on the bed. I thought even Illyrian brutes knew better than that," Feyre says, but there's absolutely no venom in it.

Rhys laughs as he stands up and crosses the room to meet her. "Don't tell me all this diplomatic work has finally domesticated feral Feyre."

Feyre hurries towards him, and then they're all over each other before she can get any more words out. They're both desperate to touch in any way they can. If showing up to dinner reeking of sex and each other weren't overstepping Helion's hospitality, they'd make full use of the bed.

When they break their kiss, they each pull back just enough to examine the other.

Rhys's wings are still hidden, and he's wearing another green and gold tunic. He looks filled out, healthier.

"You look like less of a ghost," Feyre says.

"I'm fully recovered and flying again," Rhys says, unfurling his wings and encircling her with them. He gives her that cocky smile she missed so much. "And because I know you were wondering, there's been no reduction in my wingspan, either."

Feyre didn't think she could smile any brighter, but she does. "And no reduction in your ego, I see."

"It's not egotistical when it's just fact that they're the largest."

That coaxes out Feyre's first real laugh in months. After all the time she spent in Illyria, she's heard more than enough bickering about wingspans to last a lifetime. She drew the line at helping Rhys, Cass, and Az hold the measuring tape.

Rhys's eyes go soft. "There were some days I didn't think I'd hear that laugh again."

If he'd said that a few months ago, she might have burst into tears, but now she feels as if they've all been wrung out of her. Being separated once was enough. Twice has burned away almost everything but her determination.

"Then let's use this week to bring you back again."

Feyre might not be the most skilled negotiator, but even she can recognize that Helion's aid is a gift they can't squander. It will be delicate work—for the two of them to be together, it will take more than just getting the High Lords of Spring and Night on the same side of this issue. There can be no lingering bitterness between their fathers.

She curls up in Rhys's lap as they debate their approach. It's unclear how much they can ask of Helion, and they're hesitant to push things too far. They consider concessions to propose or alternatives to try, but they end up talking in circles. Both of their fathers are stubborn. By the time they need to leave, they haven't made much progress.

As on edge as they both are, it still makes Feyre feel a little giddy to take Rhys's arm and walk to dinner together. He hides his wings again before leaving her room, and it warms her to know he'd unfurled them just for her today. It hurts a bit to let go of him to take her seat.

It's only the second time she's seen Rhys act solely as the elegant, suave Spring prince, and it's endlessly fascinating to her. Daemati abilities make her inherently difficult to trust, and with the image the Night Court projects to the world, fae from other courts keep her at arm's length, even allies. As a shapeshifter with a beast form, it would be easy for Rhys to fall into the same pattern. But he hides the warrior in him under petal-soft new beginnings, and it feels like she's watching him win friends in real time. No wonder Helion agreed to help them.

The inroads Rhys made before she arrived, plus his obvious high opinion of her, make Helion's advisors warm up to her. It's not even a conscious thing, but she and Rhys are working together as a team already; he's set up favorable conditions for her, and she'll use that to finish the job and ensure they get the support they need from Day—for the rebuilding efforts and all the rest.

It makes her feel like the two of them could accomplish anything together.

Rhys comes to her room shortly after everyone retires for the night, and they fall into bed together. Making love somewhere other than directly on the ground outside feels impossibly luxurious, almost like a dream.

Feyre could do without the mud, and she isn't eager to repeat the time it had started storming halfway through (even if Rhys shielding her from the rain with a wing had made her melt). But still, a part of her misses being under the stars with him.

When it's over and she curls up with her head on his chest, she can almost believe that there's nothing wrong in the world. She drifts off to sleep feeling more at peace than she has in months.

---

It only lasts a few hours, until a tidal wave of power pouring into her wakes her up. The room is full of an unnatural darkness that blots out everything, even the faelights she turns on. She gets out of bed in a panic.

"Feyre?" Rhys says, going from asleep to alert instantly. Feyre struggles to put the damper back on her power, but there's just so much of it, so much more than there's ever been. She doesn't answer Rhys, just tries her hardest to pull the darkness back. "Feyre, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Feyre braces a hand on the bedside table, nearly shaking with the effort it takes to rein the power back in. When the darkness clears enough for the faelights to cut through it, she sees Rhys look afraid for the first time.

She takes a breath to steady herself, then forces herself to say out loud what she thinks just happened, as awful as it is. "I think my father just died," she says, voice trembling. "And the magic didn't choose Nesta. It chose me. I'm now High Lady of the Night Court."

Before Rhys can respond, there's a knock at the door. Feyre can sense it's Helion, so she grabs a dressing gown and pulls it on before opening the door. She's past caring that anyone knows what she and Rhys were just up to.

Helion's grim expression is enough to confirm her suspicions. "Apologies for disturbing you so late at night, but there's been news," he says. Feyre ushers him inside, and Helion pretends not to notice that Rhys is still halfway through slipping on his shirt. "There's been a fight between your fathers. Feyre, I'm sorry to deliver the news that yours has passed, and Rhys, yours is gravely injured. My condolences."

For a half second, Feyre thinks she might vomit on Helion's feet. Her father, dead at the hand's of Rhys's—it's unthinkable. Everything is spiraling out of control, just when she thought it might actually get better. But now she has a court to run, and she can't afford to panic.

"Thank you. I need to get back to Night," she says, surprising even herself at how steady her voice sounds.

"And I'll be needed in Spring," Rhys says.

They lock eyes, and an understanding thrums between them: this might be their last night together, if not forever, at least for a very, very long time. They kiss each other desperately, then winnow back to their respective courts.

---

Feyre's numb, in a daze during the time just before and after her swearing-in as High Lady. She can barely think, barely function enough to take care of herself, and Mor blessedly steps up and arranges most of it for her. Her sisters are equally shellshocked.

Feyre had expected Nesta to be outraged at being passed over, but she's not. When Feyre finally works up the courage to ask her sister about it, Nesta just gives her a harsh, humorless laugh and says, "I never wanted it in the first place. I should be thanking you."

Officially, treaty negotiations are postponed out of respect for the Night Court's mourning. But really, Prythian is waiting to see if Rhys's father will pull through or not. Feyre can't decide if seeing her father's killer or a grief-stricken Rhys at the bargaining table would be worse.

---

Rhys's father lives. Feyre hardly has time to sort through her feelings about it because there's just so much to do. Night still has an army to be kept on standby in case peace talks fall through, and the war has has ravaged every corner of Prythian, including Night. It will take a long time to get her people back on their feet.

And of course it's no small matter that killing a High Lord is an act of war.

When negotiations resume and it's time to take her father's place, she wishes she could be wearing armor instead of the black gown she has on. The High Lords will be watching a young, untested, grieving High Lady—who never thought she'd be the one to rule— like vultures. She can't afford to appear weak, but she has no desire to drag her people into another war.

Feyre reminds herself she's been going to the Court of Nightmare since she was a girl. She can do this.

All eyes fall on Feyre as she arrives in the meeting room just late enough to command attention. The room goes quiet as she stares down the High Lord of Spring. Rhys has his father's violet eyes, and seeing something of him in his father makes her gut twist.

"Before we begin today, let me make one thing clear," she says quietly, with the authority of someone who doesn't need to raise her voice to be heard. "I will not allow you to make a warmonger out of me. But my father's death cannot go ignored. The Night Court will cease trade and diplomatic relations with any court that maintains ties to Spring. Is that clear?"

She braces herself for threats or worse—taunts about Rhys. But no one speaks, not even the Lord of Spring. Feyre sits down in the last empty chair and laces her fingers together. "Then don't let me hold us up any longer," she says.

It's the hardest thing Feyre's ever done, but she holds it together until they break for lunch. Then she finds an empty bathroom and has a good cry.

She's tempted to reach out to Rhys's mind, but he's far and she's hesitant to deplete her power when there's still the possibility things could go to shit. So after a few minutes, she picks herself up, washes her face, and goes back to the meeting.

She's never felt more alone in her life.

---

To Feyre's surprise, the sanctions actually work. Rhys's father crossed enough of a line that he has no supporters. With Spring left friendless, they make progress negotiating the finer points of the Wall that will separate Prythian from the mortal lands. It actually seems like it will only be a short while before they have a final treaty to sign.

But a week after that, she's eating dinner in Velaris when she suddenly feels a wave of overwhelming dread. She doesn't know why—or at least, she won't admit to herself why—but Feyre has a bone-deep certainty that something has happened to Rhys.

Pushing down her panic, Feyre reaches out with her mind to Cassian, Azriel, and Mor to summon them to her. She briefly considers including her sisters too, but they're not coping with their grief much better than she is. It seems unfair to drag them into this when her Inner Circle can handle it.

It's too dangerous to winnow into enemy territory without knowing what's happening, so Cassian and Azriel fly her and Mor in. If Rhys, Rhiannon, or their mother needs asylum in Night, Mor will have to get them out. As High Lady, Feyre will be breaking all kinds of ancient rules if she does it herself.

None of them ask how she knows something's wrong or how she finds Rhys. Perhaps they know better than to ask her about something she can't even admit to herself.

Feyre's never seen Rhys in his beast form before, but she knows it's him as soon as she sees him. He looks like a massive jungle cat with inky black fur, but the antlers and Illyrian wings make it clear he's no mere animal. He's beautiful in a fearsome sort of way.

She strokes his mind with a gentle talon, not sure what to expect.

His hackles raise, and his tail twitches. He looks directly at her and growls . The sight of it, plus the feel of his mind so close, makes Feyre's heart flip. But there's a crack open for her, so she takes that as a sign she's not unwelcome.

Rhys, what's wrong?

You can come down here, and we'll talk. This should be face-to-face.

Feyre doesn't like the sound of that, but she doesn't think he's a danger to her. She lets the others know what she's doing, then winnows out of Azriel's arm before anyone can voice their objections to seeing their High Lady launch herself into an enemy court.

She lands a careful distance away from Rhys as he shifts out of his beast form. He's wearing the same expression as the night he told her he was leaving to fight in Summer. Feyre doesn't know if she should approach him or not.

"I'm sorry for reacting like that," he says. "I can't talk when I've shifted, and you caught me off-guard."

Feyre hadn't realized it until then, but as a daemati, she must be one of the only people who can communicate with him when he's in his beast form. She doesn't allow herself to think about what that means.

"It's fine. Just tell me what happened," she says.

"I was going to try and see you, but you came. I have bad news," he says, his voice dull. Feyre says nothing, just waits for him to continue. "Amarantha has come to Spring as Hybern's emissary. My father's quite charmed, and there's been talks of an alliance, of opening up trade between his court and Hybern."

Amarantha. The general who captured Rhys. Feyre presses both hands to her face in horror—if she hadn't worked to cut Spring off, there would have been no opening for Hybern to send an emissary to slide into. But for it to be her of all people…

"I'm so sorry," Feyre whispers.

And then it gets worse.

"I'm to marry her to solidify the alliance."

Feyre stumbles backwards into a tree, then steadies herself on it. She repeats his words in her mind again, certain she misheard.

"You can't do that.” She’s crying now, and she wipes the tears away with the back of her hand. "We'd offer you asylum in Night. Even if you don't still want me—"

Rhys makes a strangled-sounding noise then says, "Of course I still want you.”

That just makes Feyre cry harder. She thought he might hate her now, after her actions opened up an opportunity for Hybern. If he did, she wouldn't blame him.

He closes the distance between them and pulls her close, so her head is against his chest. In between pressing kisses to her hair, Rhys says, "There will never come a time I don't want you."

Feyre pulls back so she can look him in the eye. "And I'll always be yours. Stay strong and let me get you out of this.”

“I don’t see a way out. He’ll start a war if he thinks you’re interfering with how he runs his court.”

Feyre knows he’s right. If Rhys runs to Night, most of the other High Lords will see it as insubordination. They’ll likely let Rhys’s father march soldiers through their territory to get to Night.

"Then focus on your head above water."

Feyre can't imagine how it must be to have the bitch who tortured him in his house. It makes her blood boil, and the idea of Amarantha touching Rhys is too much to contemplate without risking her power coming loose taking out half the forest.

Rhys nods and swallows hard, clearly trying to compose himself. "I will. I just thought you should hear it from me and see you one last—"

"Don't," Feyre snarls. She grabs his face in both her hands and kisses him, claiming and fierce. "I got you into this mess. I will get you out."

"If anyone can, it's you." Rhys's gaze drifts up to where Cass, Az, and Mor are circling overhead. "Do you mind telling them to land? We'll never hear the end of it if they flew here and only saw me from a distance."

Feyre does, and once the other three have landed, Rhys relays the news to them. A group of five is hardly inconspicuous, so they keep their conversation brief. But before they go, they squeeze together for a group hug.

---

None of them object when Feyre calls an emergency meeting at the House of Wind on the way home. There's no time to waste.

Azriel's top priority is now finding any information on Amarantha, ideally something damning in her background that will make Rhys's father reconsider. Mor has diplomatic trips planned, so she'll gather intelligence regarding what the other courts are doing in reaction to the news. Cassian will ready the Illyrians in case the balance of power is disrupted and fighting breaks out again.

Feyre's tempted to ask Cassian to march Night's armies straight to Spring and demand Rhys's father hand him over. But that would only cause a thousand other disasters to take the place of their current one.

Feyre can't waste reserves of her power, so she leaves Rhys's mind alone. She needs a secure channel of communication to coordinate the next step of the plan, and her daemati abilities are all she trusts.

So she reaches out a mental talon to Rhiannon, who’s all too willing to scheme with her.

It takes work from her entire Inner Circle, but the day of Rhys's wedding, Feyre is ready. Armed with intelligence reports and a stolen Veritas orb, she leaves for Spring.

---

There's a clap of thunder as Feyre winnows to Rhys, right into the spot where Amarantha is to join him at the altar. There are a few screams from the assembled guests as Feyre's power darkens the sky.

Amarantha freezes halfway down the aisle. Some of the guests winnow away. Others—including some High Lords—draw their swords.

Feyre wills herself to focus on Rhys so the sight of another female as his bride doesn't send her rage into overdrive.

"Hello, Rhysand darling," Feyre purrs, caressing his mind with a talon.

His shields go down immediately, and she says, Just trust me. She needs to focus, so she's out of his head before he can reply.

She smirks—the Court of Nightmares mask is on firmly now. "You know, I really would have expected better flower arrangements for a Spring Court wedding," she says to the crowd.

Amarantha's shock dissipates, and her face contorts with rage as she stalks forward. "I will kill you," she says, dropping her bouquet.

Feyre just rolls her eyes and puts up a shield around her and Rhys with a wave of her hand. Two bands of pure darkness wind around Amarantha's ankles, holding her in place.

As if she hadn't been interrupted, Feyre continues, "I have information that might be of interest to the High Lords in attendance. I suggest you hear me out."

"And you decided my wedding was he place to share it?" Rhys says. He sounds irritated, but Feyre knows him well enough to spot the smile he's trying to hide.

"Considering your wedding was the first phase of a plan, yes. My spymaster procured letters Amarantha sent back to Hybern, detailing her progress with an attempt to steal power from Prythian's High Lords. And in case you don't believe me, I brought the Veritas orb for good measure," Feyre says. She pulls both the letters and the orb out of a pocket dimension with a flourish and holds them up.

Using the orb, Feyre projects a vision of Amarantha's last conversation with the King of Hybern and images of their letters. As she gives everyone time to look it all over, Rhys lets her into his mind again.

What the hell is happening? he says. Not angry, just bewildered.

I told you I'd get you out, didn't I? Feyre says.

Any other tricks up your sleeve I should know about?

Not up mine but your sister certainly has a few.

Enough time has passed for the crowd to take it all in. Feyre continues, "I hope that was illuminating. Are there any objections to me killing her now? Speak now, or forever hold your peace."

No one does. Feyre takes it as an affirmative answer.

Tempted as she is to tear Amarantha to shreds with her talons, Feyre wants this to be clean. It's a chance for a show of power as High Lady of the Night Court, so she uses her daemati abilities instead.

As she loosens her grip on her power just a bit more, the world goes pitch-black. She pries apart Amarantha's mental shields and makes quick work of them. Once she's in, Feyre crushes her mind completely. Amarantha might be a powerful fae, but she's no match for a High Lady.

It's over before it even starts.

Feyre pulls her power back, and everyone in attendance blinks at the sudden return of sunlight. Amarantha's lifeless eyes stare upwards.

Feyre turns her attention to the High Lord of Spring next, and she says, "I just handled a potential threat to your court. I believe you're in my debt."

Through clenched teeth, Rhys's father says, "What do you want?"

Feyre smiles, and there's no warmth behind it at all. "Give me Rhysand's hand in marriage, and we'll call it even," she says coolly, as much as it pains her to trade Rhys as if he's livestock.

"Only if he renounces his claim to my throne."

Feyre expected this, but it still makes her pause. Rhiannon had said that their father would take any opportunity to be rid of the son he worries will kill him to become High Lord himself.

She enters Rhys's mind again, but before she has a chance to say anything, he says, Is this the trick up my sister's sleeve?

There's a horrible half-second where Feyre worries that she miscalculated and Rhys wants to be High Lord more than he wants her. If his father's stipulation is enough to make Rhys refuse her proposal, she’ll find a way to live with it, no matter how much it hurts.

Yes. She plans to depose your father, and I offered her Night's assistance.

This must be the "best wedding gift ever" she mentioned this morning. She'll make an excellent High Lady.

No one but Rhys and Feyre notices Rhiannon's subtle nod at her brother as she mouths "do it" at him.

Rhys says, "I'll renounce my claim to the Spring Court throne if you marry me, Feyre. Consider it a bargain."

Feyre lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Her Court of Nightmares mask slips as she breaks into a real smile and says, "I agree."

A bargain tattoo appears for both of them, a vine of flowers that winds from the elbow to the ring finger of their left arm.

Feyre holds out a hand to Rhys, ready to winnow them home, and says, "Shall we?"

Rhys steps towards her, but something makes him stumble before he can take her hand. Feyre puts an arm out to catch him.

"Are you hurt?" she says, steadying him. Her gut twists with the fear that they aren't actually about to escape this ordeal unscathed.

Rhys just shakes his head and laughs. "We're mates," he says.

It's true, something Feyre's suspected for a long time but was never strong enough to admit to herself, let alone voice aloud. It still feels impossible she could be lucky enough to have Rhys as a mate.

"Mates?" is all she can manage to say.

"The mating bond snapped just now. A little late don't you think?" Rhys says, draping his arm across her shoulders.

It's the one thing that could have gotten them out of this situation sooner—even Rhys's father wouldn't have tried to force the marriage to Amarantha if the mating bond had snapped then. But of course it had to happen just after it could have saved them frustration. Feyre shakes her head in disbelief and smiles.

"Better late than never," she says.

Rhys gives Rhiannon a wink just before Feyre winnows them both to the bedroom of the townhouse she bought after staying at the House of Wind stirred up too many memories of her father. She's hardly decorated yet, but the sword lily Rhys gave her the night they met is framed on the wall.

"Directly to the bedroom?" Rhys says, his cocky smile returning. "I should have known you'd only want one thing—"

Feyre shuts him up with a kiss.

It's a good while before she pulls away, both of them a little breathless. She almost considered pushing it farther than that, but she knows her Inner Circle will be anxious until they see their High Lady back from behind enemy lines.

"Kitchen. Now. I need to make you food," Feyre says.

Rhys knows better than to object. He lets his wings out and sits in one of the chairs made to accommodate them while Feyre grabs a can of soup, the first thing she sees in a cabinet. As she heats it up, she speaks mind-to-mind with her sisters and friends and tells them to come to the house.

She lets Rhys have his reunions and fill them all in as she stirs the soup. With every movement of the spoon, she feels as if her heart comes another stitch closer to being repaired. Her mate is home.

She wishes she had a speech prepared, but no words feel sufficient. She ladles a serving into a bowl, places it in front of him, and says, "I love you."

She hands him a spoon next; Rhys takes it from her and kisses the knuckles of her outstretched hand. "I love you, too."

Surrounded by some of their birth and chosen family, Rhys eats every drop of the soup. After that, everyone knows to leave them alone for at least a few days.

---

During the mating frenzy, Feyre and Rhys manage to keep their hands off each other just long enough for a quick wedding ceremony. Plans can't be set in motion until the bargain is fulfilled.

With Rhys out of the line of succession, his father's guard drops faster than anyone expected. Rhiannon becomes High Lady within days.

They return to the Spring Court for Rhiannon's swearing-in, the end of so much suffering and death. In another time, Feyre might have rolled her eyes at all the mentions of new life blooming. But the new alliance between Night and Spring is the strongest in Prythian's history, and both High Ladies want nothing more than peace.

---

Rhys and Feyre stay the night after the swearing-in, partially to send a message that Spring trusts Night enough to allow its High Lady to stay for a longer visit, partially just to spend time with Rhys's family. After dark, they sneak out to the woods just like they used to.

Rhys is tucking a moonflower behind Feyre's ear when a beast with inky black fur, Illyrian wings, and antlers emerges from the forest. Rhiannon shifts out of her beast form, fresh as a daisy despite the long day. She's changed out of her formal gown, and now that her flower crown is gone, Rhys musses her hair, greeting her like a brother.

“Rhysie!” Rhiannon exclaims, batting his hand away. Then she says, “Cauldron Feyre, I can’t believe you put up with him.”

"You can keep him in line by throwing shoes at his head," Feyre says.

Rhys gives Feyre an indignant look, but she just wraps an arm around his waist and kisses his cheek.

"And I suppose you're still making my brother happy?" Rhiannon says with a soft smile.

Rhys pulls Feyre closer and presses a kiss to her hair. "Incredibly happy," he says.

Feyre leans into Rhys's touch, thinking that there's no better gift than a peaceful spring night with him.

#feysand #feysand fic #feyre x rhys #feyre x rhysand #rhys x feyre #rhysand x feyre

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rakumel · 29 days

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Recently I got a reply to this post, and it reminded me that I wanted to do a follow-up. So I booted up XV2 last night to check in on Ame. How's she doing?

Not too bad, actually!

I did try some different moves and a few Super Souls, and while nothing about Ame's setup is perfect, it's good enough for me. The goal was never to make her the perfect striker anyhow; the goal was to make her fun.

Mission accomplished! I'll put the details of my discovery process (and my babbling about ocs) under a cut. The rest of you got the gist of this post, so you can go on about your day.

So it turns out there's a Super move that almost directly addresses the biggest problem I had with playing as Ame. Namely, she can't punch the bad guys if the bad guys keep moving and staying way the hell out of range (even having stretchy arms didn't help). And the move is....

Menacing Flare. Theeeeere it is, there's my baby!

How it works is this: You fire it just like any other ki beam. If it hits the target, it does damage, so far so good. But if it misses, you get teleported right to the enemy to just hit them anyway. It doesn't always work, but it works often enough that I pretty much keep it mapped to the X button now. (Maximum Charge lives on the circle button for ALL my characters.)

With those settled, I can be flexible on the other two super moves. The person who replied to me recommended Deadly Dance and Dodoria's uppercut move, both of which I agree are pretty good. I actually do have both of those together on a couple of Ame's other presets; just not on this particular one. XD

Super Mad Dance is fun for close range. Explosive Buu Buu Punch is one that's exclusive to Majin; it's basically just a flurry of long-range punches. I'm not as sold on it as some of the other moves but I do like that you can block right before unleashing it. I've also got good mileage out of Orin Combo before.

I also started liking the Strike Ultimate moves WAY more once I learned to incorporate them in regular ol' bread and butter combos, instead of trying to just use them by themselves. (I use Aloe and Yokan's Ultimate moves by themselves a lot; in their cases it's fine because they're Ki-based and long distance. There's nothing to build up to.) The other Ultimate slot can go to just about anything; I mostly picked Innocence Breath because it's pink and fits Ame's character. Though it does do a decent amount of damage if it actually hits.

Another thing that helped me get better scores with Ame was to use her Awoken skill more. The first time I tried it, I didn't like anything about it; how it looked, how it felt, how it changed all my moves, and that stupid bug it has where you can't leave an area if you're transformed. So I didn't use it again for the longest time.

But in the spirit of experimenting, I tried Purification again, and eventually got more used to it. I wound up pairing it with a Super Soul from an unlikely source. One that the real Ame kinda hates.

No, not Dodoria. She likes him just fine. It's that Cell guy!

So, quickly, OC lore time!

Soon after Aloe and Ame first became friends, Ame asked why a good person like Aloe was letting a villain like Cell mentor her. Aloe said, sure, he's terrible now, but if he has a couple of good students to teach and enjoys his job, he could still be useful and maybe even reform a little bit once he sees there's more to life than fighting. (Aloe doesn't flat-out admit she also likes him, but it's probably obvious anyway.)

Ame silently disagreed. Bad guys were always bad guys, that was that. And in her mind, Cell was one of the worst because he worked so closely with her best friend Aloe, which put her in constant danger of possibly getting absorbed someday.

So Ame decided the only way to "rescue" Aloe was to become strong enough to defeat her mentor. Even if Ame didn't even know how to properly make a fist yet at that point.

And it stays this way for much of their story - Ame hates Cell because he's mean, condescending, and arrogant; Cell can't stand being around Ame because she's a hyper-cheerful idiot with no natural fighting skill. It's not until much later on - after Ame gets taught by some bad guys herself (and it turns out to be kind of fun)(thanks Ginyu Force), and Cell kinda gets attached to Aloe despite trying not to, because goddamn is it fun to watch this five-foot nothing half-blood Saiyan absolutely wreck people's shit - and time and circumstances do their work and both of them soften up some about their "absolute" beliefs - that they kind of earn a grudging respect for one another.

Which is why I personally find it amusing that one of his Super Souls works really well with her Awoken skill. I can hear both of them retching hard in the musespace right now. XD

Slowing down Ame's movement kinda sucks, but the rest is almost pure benefit. She can't guard in that form anyway, and gets nice bonuses to both attack and defense.

The Great Saiyaman is here! and That looks fun! also work pretty well with Ame's style in general. In other setups with a Reinforcement skill, I use Your Life is Mine! Toh!

One final thing I used to tie all this crap together was a decent QQ bang. Notice I said decent. Not ideal, not properly min/maxed or whatever. Just decent. Because as it turned out, decent was really all I needed in Ame's case.

Let's take a look at this thing. It boosts her Strike skill and Stamina as much as possible, which is good. As a Majin, she can regenerate that Stamina much faster than others, and she needs it anyway for those evasive skills. (Candy Beam ain't cheap). Basic attack isn't boosted as much as I'd like, but any boost is better than none. Health is dropped a little bit, and her Ki a lot, but she doesn't need that much Ki for her moves anyway. (Also? Less time spent recharging.) Her Ki Blast supers suffer a little bit too, but not that much.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought, "You know...I can work with this." So basically on a whim, I tried equipping it instead of selling it. And damned if I didn't like it better than all the level 5 QQ bangs I'd tried. It gives her the benefits of a Strike build, but leaves the option of Ki supers open.

So it doesn't look that great. Oh well. Still basically works. :) And that's Ame in a nutshell.

#dragon ball xenoverse 2 #xenoverse oc #dbz xenoverse #raku plays her faves #raku plays her faves: xv2 #rakus oc trivia time #don't worry if this doesn't matter to you #I should have a kitten update soon :D

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casspurrjoybell-21 · 2 months

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Pirate Chains - Volume 2 - Against Tides

*Warning Adult Content*

Chapter 8 - Easy Mark - Part 3

Nyx

One of the rogues attacked me with a long old looking knife. He tried to stab me but I avoided him.

Our weapons clashed and I moved in time in such a way, that forced his knife to leave his grasp.

He retreated, only for the other two rogues to attack.

If not for Ace's training, I wouldn't have had a chance.

This was a real fight and I didn't hesitate to aim at them in order to protect myself and the woman that was in this situation because of me.

I made sure to keep her right behind me and to slash at anyone who came close to her.

More rogues appeared and I started losing hope of defeating them all.

Hell, I couldn't even push them back and at least give Cherri a chance to save herself.

I decided that it would be better for us to back up, the forest is thick and it would maybe allow us to gain some distance.

'God. I don't have time for this.'

I reach behind me and grab Cherri's arm once more.

"Cherri, we need to retreat. We can't stay here or they'll get us... Ah..."

I was suddenly pushed forward and I tried to hold my balance but tripped on a small rock and fell face first onto the ground.

"God. Where the fuck were you? I've been walking around like an idiot for hours, damn it."

"Don't bitch, bitch. We were watching you and it was only for about half an hour, tops."

"Yeah. Well the deal was not to watch, you twit."

A foot stepped on my right hand that held my sword.

I reached for my dagger and slashed at his leg.

I hit it and the owner hissed and cursed, releasing my sword hand.

I scurried to my feet, taking a protecting stance.

"Shit. You idiot," Cherri yelled at the filthy man, that spat on the ground and glared at me.

All the rogues started moving forward to close the distance between us.

I glared daggers at Cherri, who was standing with her arms across, her ample heaving bosom.

I was panting and I forced my mind to give me an explanation to all that way happening now.

"Cherri? What the hell is going on?"

"Shut up. You fucking deserve this. You think we don't know about you? You had the perfect life. You were high born and rich. Doted on by you family like a fucking prince and yet you still need to take things away from people like me. You're so fucking selfish and you're so fucking stupid."

Cherri glared at me and I could feel the hatred radiating off of her in heavy waves, then she threw w both hands in the air and looked at the other men.

"Fuck this. I fulfilled my end of the bargain. I'll leave the rest to you and your boss better carry out his part in the plan properly. The last thing we need is another failure," she said, before she turned around and started to walk off.

I couldn't help the confusion that hit me, what the hell was happening.

Is Cherri working with the rogues?

Her words sounded clearer than a confession and yet my mind somehow refused to believe, why would she do this?

What about the merchant and the news from Mila Island?

I didn't realize my lack of concentration until my sword was attacked by another and it was thrown away.

"If you can't do hand-to-hand bouts, then you better hold on to your sword like your life depended on it because it is.' Ace had said to me and now I'll lost my sword and had only my dagger to protect myself with.

I raised the silver dagger to their faces threatening and I stood between their smirks and coloured teeth.

I knew it was a matter of seconds before they charged me.

I tried to work out in my head a way out of this situation, anything... but I was stuck, my mind was confused, it refused to work, even to save my life.

Cherri then started yelling and then screaming, as one of the rogues was holding her, trying to keep her from leaving.

"Let me go you dirty shit. This wasn't the deal."

"It is now, whore."

"Hey. Get your hands off of her," I yell, trying to run to her but before I could hit the guy holding her, a punch threw me back on my ass.

Then it was followed by a foot crushing my hand.

I reluctantly let go of my dagger and the rogue took it away from me and then someone drove a punch right into my stomach, another into my face and that was all it took to defeat me.

They pulled at my arms and my hands were tired behind my back tightly with a rough-textured rope.

Then both Cherri and I were carried away, deeper into the mountain.

I don't know how long it took us to reach their hide-away.

The rogues took us into a large dark cave inside the mountain and threw us into a large hole a few feet deeper than the rest of the cave.

I moved my eyes around trying to find a way out, the hole was surrounded by the caves walls, from one end and a set of iron bars at the other.

I looked like a large cell with many shackles attached to the walls.

My heart started to pace faster at the sight of so many restraints.

This didn't look like any normal prisoner cell and a shiver took over as the word 'slave' crossed my mind.

Cherri's screams, threats and insults didn't spare her from being thrown into the cell with me until someone came and decided he wanted to have his way with her.

The ugly man yanked her by the arm, dragging her outside the cell.

Cherri kept on demanding to see their leader but the rogues only laughed at her.

I tried to ignore the rogues standing next to me, holding touches to witness the scene with creepy smiles on their equally creepy faces.

I couldn't use my hands as they were still tied behind my back, so I plunged head first into the ugly bastard's ribs, causing both of us to fall on the hard ground.

Cherri escaped to the other side of the cell and crouched in fear.

The man roared and grabbed my hair.

"You fucking pirate. You think because we have a buyer for you, that we won't hurt you? Think again," he yelled, while he punched me several times in the stomach.

I couldn't utter a word anymore.

I only coughed and drew the best breathes I could and even curling into myself didn't stop the damage his punches caused.

I was in a lot of pain when another man calmed his friend down.

My mouth tasted weird from the blood and my ribs hurt.

I felt so damn week, I couldn't save myself or a woman in need.

My feet dragged as two men pulled me back and replaced the ropes with a set of shacked that were attached to the wall.

I sat there trapped and drowned in shame as Cherri's screams for help filled the cave and then slowly faded.

And then I was left alone in the damp and dark, despite the scorching sun outside, it's rays didn't reach this far.

My breathing was heavier with the weighing darkness, with nothing than my anger towards myself to keep me away from unconsciousness.

I am a failure.

Cherri said I deserved this, maybe I did.

I failed my father and didn't protect my mother and keep her safe.

And now maybe she sick because of this unfilial son.

I failed my Captain and didn't think twice before disobeying him.

I'm so damn stupid.

I failed my lover, he trusted me and I betrayed him.

The ugly rogue said that there was a buyer for me.

I don't want to become a slave.

I might never get to see him again.

'Please, Agenor, please save me.'

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mtdthoughts · 3 months

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The Twins' Relationship Pt. 13 (Migi & Dali Analysis)

This is Part 13 of the discussion of the twins' relationship and its evolution throughout the story.

Click here to return to the top of the thread (Part 1)

Note that I will use scenes from both the anime and manga wherever I see fit, and of course spoilers are discussed.

This post is about the first half of Episode 13, which in my opinion was one of the most confusing arcs in the story, and I spent quite a lot of time thinking about why exactly Dali hid in the shadows before coming to what I think is the most likely conclusion, and I outlined this in my series of posts titled "Shadow" (I also wrote a fanfiction for this too...). I won't repeat the points here, as that would make this post WAY too long, but I'll state enough to properly illustrate the twins' relationship.

After the twins returned to the Sonoyama house, surprisingly they continued their act of pretending to be one, though this time Dali chose to never come out again.

It's pretty clear that Dali isn't happy, and Migi is able to pick on his brother's sadness. All he wanted was for Dali to be happy, yet for some reason he refused to accept his own happiness.

Dali knows what Migi wants, and he tries his best to rationalize his decision in denying himself happiness. He tries to point out his scar as the reason that he can't come out, because then they wouldn't be able to keep up their act.

However, I have learned to see through Dali's lies (yet he's still my favorite!), and his reasoning here certainly concealed much of the truth. In my post "Shadow", I argued that Dali's real reasoning for denying his own happiness was that he felt overwhelming guilt for what happened to Eiji, and just as how Eiji was alone in prison, Dali decided to imprison himself, believing that he did not deserve to be happy. Even though the twins started their revenge together, it was Dali who decided to bear the burden of sin, as if he was leaving behind Migi once again.

Migi could not comprehend Dali's reasoning, as Dali tries to reassure Migi that they'll still be together even if he stays as Migi's shadow.

Notice how Migi easily punched a hole in Dali's (unusually) flimsy reasoning, saying that the Sonoyamas will surely accept them both (true btw), which leads to Dali leaking a bit of his true feelings, saying that the Sonoyamas deserved to dote on their cute child Hitori (Migi). This also meant that he saw himself as a terrible person who has done much wrong to others, including Migi and Eiji, and as someone who did not deserve happiness, unlike Migi, who Dali saw as innocent.

Dali clearly loved his brother and hated himself, yet he couldn't just say this to Migi, otherwise Migi would protest. So he instead opted to comfort Migi to get him to accept his decision, while hiding his real feelings behind a fake smile and fake confidence. His words that Migi's happiness was his happiness were true, yet he was hiding the pain he felt from being alone once again in the shadows.

Nonetheless, Migi just couldn't accept this, as he had a conversation with Akiyama about wanting to live as two, and once again expressed his confusion toward Dali's decision.

Migi's statement that he and Dali were different was very obviously true (obvious since Episode 2/3), so I think that it was instead meant to express Migi's frustration of not being able to understand what his brother was thinking. He desperately wanted Dali to be happy, but he didn't know how he could do this, and he just couldn't understand Dali's thinking and decision.

Yet, Dali's pained expression seems to reveal that he wanted this too. He wanted to be able to live with Migi and the Sonoyamas as himself, but he believed he didn't deserve it, and that being Migi's shadow was all he needed.

Indeed, this desire shows up once again during Christmas dinner and the nightmare that Dali had.

Certainly, Dali was happy that Migi could experience a happy and love-filled life in the family, but it seems that Dali wanted it too, given his upset reaction to all of the "fun things" that he'll miss.

His nightmare revealed his fear of being left behind by everyone, including Migi and the Sonoyamas, which just highlights his desire of wanting to be with them and the consequences of staying in Migi's shadow.

Even though Dali's heart told him to join Migi and the Sonoyamas, he just couldn't, still burdened by guilt. Even when the Sonoyamas accepted the twins, Dali just couldn't accept himself. As Dali's longing rose to a high, Migi's words to him were able to finally get him to change his mind.

Once again, Migi's words about him and Dali being different are totally obvious on the surface, so I think what he really meant to say was "Sometimes I just can't understand what Dali is thinking."

But then Migi realized that this didn't matter. He realized that trying to pick Dali's mind was a losing battle, so instead he came to a much simpler answer, which was reading his heart. It was clear to him that Dali was in pain, and his words and tears reminded Dali that he really was Migi's other half, that one couldn't be complete without the other. Thus, they shared the same emotions, and so Migi's joy was Dali's joy, and Dali's joy was Migi's joy. Similarly, Migi's suffering was Dali's suffering, and Dali's suffering was Migi's suffering.

Because of this realization and the strength of the love that the twins shared, Dali was finally able to gather the strength to accept himself, so that he could not only live for Migi's happiness, but for atonement and for his own happiness as well.

Finally, the twins revealed themselves to the Sonoyamas, and were so glad to finally experience their new life together in the family.

After all I've written before in this post, there's not much left to say here. It's clear that all Migi wanted was for Dali to be happy, as given by his joyed look towards Dali at the table, and it's clear that Dali wanted this all this time, given his tears of happiness and his look of sheer bliss as he and Migi teased each other.

Indeed, what a happy ending, as now the twins could finally be open and honest with each other, just as they were in the very beginning (before their mother's death).

The next part of this thread will cover the timeskip, and the part after will basically summarize everything. I can't wait to finally end this thread; it's been too long...

#migi and dali #migi to dali #analysis

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troidatoi · 8 months

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Day 7 - 9/21/2023

I think I've literally cried every day this month. I always get so emotional when September comes and I don't know if it's cause of the transition to Fall and I already know my seasonal depression is going to skyrocket. My health anxiety is through the roof that I can't stop thinking about it and crying about it. Every little thing just triggers me and I start crying and and it's just tears on tears on tears. I just want to feel better so bad. I went to the gastro doctor again to test for SIBO and I don't have it. It's a relief that I don't but I still don't know what's going on with my body and the uncertainty makes me to k*ll myself. Sometimes I think I have the C word. (I know I don't.) It also feels like there's a lot of pressure in my head like there's something wrong with my brain. I just want to stop thinking like this but I can't. I so badly want something good to happen to me and I know it will. I want to be able to eat without fear, I want to not bloat anymore and not feel inflamed. I want to fit into my clothes again. I want to be able to enjoy life. (I'm trying my best.) Food still isn't digesting properly and I know it will heal sometime soon. I just feel like I'm doing everything I can but nothing is working. This is all started when I did my tummy tuck (which I don't regret at all) but if I knew my digesting system was going to be like this after then I don't know if I made the right move. I just wanted to look and feel fit and skinny for the first time in my life and I felt like I ruined it. :( I know I'll go back to my ideal weight soon and I'm doing the best I can but I am spending so much money on doctors and supplements and medication. I just wish I could get tested for everything and not have to worry about the money. My gastro doctor doesn't want me to do more testing because he doesn't want to expose me to radiation and I just laughed but I really want him to do it! Test me! I need to figure this out! I wish I took care of my body better. I keep apologizing to my body but also telling her that I love her and thank her for how strong she is. I don't want my body to keep going through this and I know I won't feel this way forever but I just want to heal so bad and it just feels never ending. This whole month has been ass so far. LOL. Like I'm trying to be positive but sometimes I just want to fucking scream and yell and throw something and punch something because of everything that's happened so far this month. Like you know where everything is going wrong and you feel like you can't watch a break and you just want to breathe but life decided to throw hands?! Yeah, this was all this fucking month.

The job search has also been making me extremely depressed like these companies are pissing me the fawk off with how we need to apply for the job and taking forever to get back to us. I had an interview with a certain company in June. Still haven't heard anything back. I even emailed the recruiter last month and he said they haven't heard anything yet. I thought the interview went well but it shouldn't take this long to get back to someone. I rather have them tell me I didn't get it then just get ghosted like this. (I am hoping I'm not getting ghosted. LOL) Don't even talk to me about salary because these companies want you to do the work of 2-3 people for a low ass salary like be fucking for real. I applied to two jobs yesterday and it was just so tedious although I'm hoping to get a call back from one of them just because I think it'd be cool to work there. :) Also, I applied to MGM and they got back to me the next day and set up an interview and everything. The manager texts me and she said servers are down and I was like okay, cool shit happens. I just thought the power shut off but nope. I found out later that week that they got hacked so everything got leaked and I was like HAHAHAHAHA, maybe the Universe doesn't want me to work there? I don't know man, I don't know whether to laugh or cry when it comes shit like this. Like I'm just asking to make money so I can pay back my parents and pay off my debt. I don't even want to be rich. Just financially stable enough to afford my wants and needs and even move out!! This whole month has just been so terrible. I want to believe that something good will happen you know? I'm claiming it though even if I need to be delusional about it.

I for some reason think about death a lot like it consumes me to the point where I just start crying out of nowhere. I remember even when I was a kid I asked my mom why do we die and she couldn't give me a straight answer. I don't know why I was little and asking questions about death. I remember crying in class when I was in 4th grade thinking about death for some reason. Like the thought just washed over me when I thought about it. I always thought (I still do) that death is so fucking tragic and living an old age is a privilege. Aging is a beautiful thing. (I don't know why the fuck society makes it seem so bad.) I like the idea of celebrating your life (which is probably why I love birthdays so much). Because it means that you're still here and shouldn't we celebrate the fact that you're still here? You made it this far. I thought about my death today like fucking a lot which is why I was crying a lot. Like would I be okay dying right now? I even thought what I would write to my family and friends if I ended up dying like right now. LMAO. Why am I like this? I would say I'd live a good life so far, a lot of ups and downs of course. A lot of regrets but not a lot of regrets. I've always done things that made me happy, my social life is amazing, and I have family and friends who love me.

My favorite artist right now La Roux knows who I am!!! The only thing that is keeping me going right now is that I need to meet her and see her in concert. LOL. It's funny cause she sent me encouraging messages and I didn't even think she would reply back to me. She told me to stay strong and I was like yeah okay!!! Let's do it not only for me but for her too. lmaooo. I don't know why her message affected me so much when my family and friends told me the same fucking thing but I was still fucking sad and mad about everything. I really do love her and her music so much. The way I gush over her is crazy. LOL. I don't want to sound obsessed but she's just so effortlessly cool. I really want to be her when I grow up. She's such a nice person and I know I shouldn't idolize celebrities blah blah blah but I have loved every song and every project she's done that I bought both her albums and vinyls and hung them on my wall which I took a picture of and showed her and she said she loved it like yeah I hope she knows how much I love her. I'm telling myself I can't die without meeting her and seeing her live which is one of the things that's keeping me going. She gives it her all every performance. I know I'm going to meet her. LOL. If I met Kobe, then I'm definitely going to meet her one way or another. I'm manifesting that shit right now and I'm going to make it happen. I just love her so much like the first time she messaged me back, I cried. lmfaooo. I cry so much, someone should do a study on me. A conversation and hug from her would heal me in so many ways and we were even born in the same month!! And she speaks so intelligently and articulates so well. I think she's so fucking smart. She says it like it is and she's not scared to disagree with people and things. LOL. I remember everyone telling me that I was going to meet Kobe in high school and I kept having dreams where I met Kobe and tried to get a picture with him but my phone wouldn't work and I would always think like fuck, if I met him and this shit happened, I would cry. Lo and behold, a few years later I met him at his book signing at The Grove and it was worth it. The worker who took my picture did an amazing job taking my pictures with him and you can see how star struck I was to meet him. He was so nice and asked me if I wanted a hug and I was like yes!! I miss him everyday and I hope him and Gigi are well. And I hope when I meet La Roux, she doesn't think I'm weird or annoying as I know she has anxiety. Like I said I'd love a hug, a convo and picture (mirror selfie would be so amazing, lmao) with her. <3 It's going to happen! I just need to take care of myself first (which I'm fucking doing even if I have to fucking scream and bitch and moan about it until I get to a place where I feel better and my health is in a better place!)

Okay there was like a lot of negativity in this post because sometimes a bitch needs to fucking vent and let some shit off her chest (besides talking about my love for Kobe and La Roux) but I know they would want me to keep going despite of it all. The two celebrities who really did change my life for the better and I hope they know how much of a positive impact they've had on me. I just have to believe that my body is going to heal while also putting in the work to help it heal. I also have to believe that someone is going to hire me at the end of the month and that I'm going to pay off my debt. I need to give myself more credit for surviving all of this. I know something great is coming my way and money is going to flow towards me. I'm going to have good health and eat what I want again without pain. I am also going to Life is Beautiful tomorrow which should be nice!! I'm going with John and it's probably something I need. Probably have a heart to heart with John and cry over everything with him. I love concerts so much. I love music so much! I think it'd be nice to just get out of the house and not stare at my screen and wallow in my thoughts. lmfao. I'm just trying to appreciate and be happy with where I am now and hopefully good things follow me for it. I need to have faith even if it feels hopeless right now. Stay strong, Jane. You didn't come this far to come this far. You are protected, guided, and loved. Everything always works out for you! Believe it! Manifest it! Claim it! Please remember this on the days where you feel like everything is going wrong. I love you so much.

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sunshine-overload · 10 months

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[BSTS] Main Story S5Ch5 ‘Dark Flare’ - Part 2

Part 1

Chapter 3

-street, night time-

saki: Thank you for escorting me to the station, Mizuki.

mizuki: No need to thank me, so what did you think of tonight's show? Heath really turned it up didn't he, he was like a firework goin' off!

saki: Yes, it was great. Everyone else did really well too.

mizuki: Seeing him in a good mood allows me to go all out too, it feels like we're saying 'this is B'! As I thought, we have no need for an understudy. And especially no need for any extra weirdos joining. What the hell was Kouichi thinking bringing that guy along?

saki: Are you talking about Hinata-san?

mizuki: ? Something stinks...

saki: Hm...?

mizuki: We're being tailed, oi Saki, come this way.

-alleyway-

suspicious man 1: Hey there, we're not letting you get away.

mizuki: The fuck you want?

suspicious man 1: I ain't talking to you, brat. Leave that woman with us and get lost.

saki: U-um, Mizuki-san...

mizuki: Stay behind me.

suspicious man 1: Oi oi playing prince charming are we? Don't cry to me when I mess you up-

-mizuki punches him-

suspicious man 1: Ugh...!?

mizuki: Quit talking so much, bitch.

suspicious man 1: Y-you bastard...!

-hinata runs up-

hinata: Mizuki behind you! There's more of them!

mizuki: Huh? The fuck are you doing here!?

suspicious man 1: Now! Get her now!

mizuki: Shit, so there really were more of them?

suspicious man 2: Take this!

hinata: Stop it!!

-hinata gets hit-

hinata: Guh...!

-hinata falls to the ground-

suspicious man 2: Don't interfere! Stupid kid!

mizuki: Don't get cocky you assholes!

-mizuki punches him-

suspicious man 2: S-shit...

suspicious man 1: We'll remember this, ya hear!

-the men run off-

mizuki: Tch, as if I'd bother remembering you. Also, you. Don't go sticking your neck in if you're so weak.

hinata: Uu, uu... it hurts so much...

mizuki: That's what you get for interfering.

hinata: But if... something were to happen to you whilst B's show is running it wouldn't be good...

mizuki: Well yeah, I guess... Anyways how long are you gonna sit there, get up already.

saki: Are you ok...?

hinata: I-I can't... I can't stand up...

—end

Chapter 3 extra

-alleyway, night time-

mizuki: What do you mean you can't stand? Oi did you get messed up that bad?

saki: W-what should we do...

hinata: M-my stomach...

mizuki: You didn't even get hit in the stomach.

hinata: My stomach hurts... I'm so hungry...

-stomach growls-

mizuki: You little... Don't say something so easy to misunderstand!

saki: I'm glad he wasn't gravely injured though.

hinata: I haven't been able to eat dinner yet.

mizuki: You should make sure ya eat properly!

hinata: But I barely have any money on me.

mizuki: Huh?

hinata: Lately Iwa-san has been the one feeding me but... I can't just keep relying on him right? I need to become independent so I held back from begging him for help. Sigh~ It costs a lot of money to live doesn't it? I feel like I'm trying my very best just to be able to eat.

mizuki: What about your parents?

hinata: (deadpan) Oh them? No idea~ Before I knew it I was living like this.

mizuki: .......

mizuki: Hey, why do you want to join B so bad?

hinata: Do I need any other reason than because I think you guys are cool? Listening to hip hop has given me hope and courage you see. And amongst the artists I like, B's shows were special. The moment I saw you guys I knew you were the real deal. I found hip hop and then discovered you guys, and you’ve allowed me to believe that the future will be a bright one.

mizuki: ...I see. Well, get up already. We're walking Saki to the station and then we’re going to get some food in you.

hinata: Huh? But I don't have enough money.

mizuki: I'll treat ya. A reward for helping Saki out.

hinata: For reals!? Woohoo!

saki: (Mizuki-san looks like he's enjoying himself...)

—end

Chapter 3 SideA

-starless break room-

lico: ...Hey, have you seen Mizuki anywhere?

ran: He went home! He escorted Nee-chan out.

kongou: Did you need to discuss something with him?

lico: Seriously, are you guys not bothered by it? About Hinata I mean.

ran: Oh that... Of course I'm bothered by it!

heath: I wonder what Mizuki is thinking of doing about it.

lico: Like, do we really need two understudies? What the heck are we supposed to tell Akira in that situation?

ran: "This is our new cast member! He's our understudy!" Somethin’ like that... it wouldn't make much sense to Akira would it.

lico: Why is it that we need to listen to what Iwami-san says in the first place? Can't we just tell him it's none of his business.

ran: Yeah~ But if it's what Mizuki decides as our leader then I'll accept it.

kongou: Agreed, I'll approve of him joining as an understudy.

ran: If we as a team ain't opposed to it isn't that what's most important?

lico: How carefree of you. What about you Heath? Tell me how you honestly feel about this.

heath: I... have no intentions to hand the microphone over to anyone else. That's all there is to it. Don't you all feel the same?

lico: Without a doubt.

heath: Then, that's all that matters.

—end

Chapter 3 SideA extra

-starless restaurant area-

sotetsu: I happened to overhear something interesting... is that rumour really true?

yoshino: Which rumour?

sotetsu: What, you haven't heard it yet?

yoshino: What are you talking about?

sotetsu: The rumour that Team B might be having a new cast member join them. If I remember correctly his name was Hinata. Seems like he's still just a kid.

yoshino: This is the first I'm hearing of it... Ginsei, Gui, did you two know?

ginsei: Not at all.

gui: I didn't know either.

kei: It has still not been decided that he will join.

sotetsu: Meaning the possibility isn't zero right? I heard that he was apparently brought here by Iwami too.

ginsei: By Iwami-san?

sotetsu: Seeing as he's neither been accepted or kicked out, do you intend to have him swim around for a bit to find his identity?

kei: Whichever outcome is fine.

sotetsu: Well, I guess the main question is whether or not he can stand on the stage.

yoshino: Iwami-san went out of his way to bring him here, so he must at least have some amount of talent...

ginsei: We won't know until we see him in action.

yoshino: I don't think B are likely to welcome him with open arms though. Mizuki is always obsessing over the fact that the original members are what defines B.

gui: Did Mizuki refuse?

ginsei: I mean the probability is pretty high...

sotetsu: If that happens then what on earth are we gonna do with the new guy.

kei: Either way, the time to make a decision will arrive.

sotetsu: So it's up to Mizuki then huh. Sounds like yet another commotion is imminent.

—end

Chapter 3 SideB

-starless hallway-

hinata: Haah~ They were simply the best today as well-! Team B's shows really are so hype aren't they?

saki: Fufu, yes.

hinata: I wanna hurry up and get on that stage as well~

saki: (...So he really is serious about joining B.)

-mokuren walks up-

mokuren: Found you. Are you the new person aiming to be a cast member? ...Hmm.

hinata: Uh excuse me...? Could you stop looking me up and down so intently?

saki: Good work today, Mokuren-san.

mokuren: Hello princess. Sorry but I need to talk to this guy here.

hinata: Hinata. My name's Hinata not 'this guy'.

mokuren: I'm Mokuren, Team C's leader. I'll get to the point. You should join Team C.

hinata: What?

saki: Mokuren-san...?

mokuren: I don't mean immediately of course. First start with some muscle training and the basics to do something about that feeble looking figure of yours. Devote yourself to training right away, if you need a crash course then Hari can—

-mizuki walks up-

mizuki: Oi, what the hell are you doing!

mokuren: As you can see, I'm recruiting him.

mizuki: Don't just take what's not yours.

mokuren: Take? But I'd heard he hadn't joined B yet.

mizuki: He said he wants to join B, so we get first dibs.

mokuren: Have you come to your conclusion then?

mizuki: ...I'm still thinking about it.

mokuren: Indecisive aren't you. Ditch this guy and come join C.

hinata: Whaat~ Even if you say that I dunno...

mizuki: You wanna join B don't you? Then just refuse 'em straight up.

hinata: Will you let me into B then?

mizuki: That's not what I meant!

mokuren: What a self-centred way of handling it.

mizuki: Huh? Aren't you the one being self-centred here?

mokuren: Anyways I'll be taking Hinata with me for now.

mizuki: Fuck off!

mokuren: If it’s taking you that long to come to a decision then it probably means you don't need him right? Well my case is different.

mizuki: I'm gonna decide soon enough! Don't go doing anything unnecessary! You too, Hinata!

hinata: Ok!

-mizuki leaves-

mokuren: ...Hmph, he's hopeless.

hinata: Seems like Starless is way crazier of a place then I thought it was huh?

saki: Ahaha...

—end

Chapter 3 SideB extra

-street, night time-

mokuren: Sorry about earlier, princess. I didn't mean to get you caught up in our pointless quarrel.

saki: No it's alright.

mokuren: Seriously though, Mizuki's selfishness knows no bounds. If he's needed then he's needed, if he's not then he's not, it should be an easy decision to make.

saki: ...How come you went and recruited Hinata-san?

mokuren: Team C is in need of an understudy too you see. Once I heard the rumours I thought this would be a good opportunity to get one. Qu, Kasumi and Zakuro, one by one I've watched them go through a slump, so I've considered this carefully. It's inexcusable for one person's drop in performance to affect the overall quality of everyone else. I want to put a system in place for the sake of the stage. To put it simply I want someone who can immediately be effective in fixing this.

saki: I see...

mokuren: What kind of person do think would be a good fit for C's understudy, princess?

saki: I'm not so sure... Who do you think would be suitable, Mokuren-san?

mokuren: Someone who can keep up with me I guess.

saki: (That might be a bit of a high bar...)

mokuren: Also, someone who doesn't cause trouble, somone who doesn't miss practice and doesn't have any complaints. Someone like that I suppose.

saki: Are you not at all concerned about whether or not they suit C's style?

mokuren: I don't think it's worth fussing over that. I'm not saying I plan to throw away what makes us C of course. Just that I'd like to obtain a different feeling to what C has portrayed up until now. A monotonous dance isn't interesting after all. The same applies to our team's stage.

saki: Mokuren-san...

mokuren: In the selection of demo songs for our next show, something caught my attention you see.

saki: Is that so?

mokuren: I was filled with inspiration when I listened to the song Zakuro brought. However what was coming to mind was different from the direction of C so far, so... If we want to aim for the best stage that we can achieve, I came to the conclusion that our direction needs to be able to change too. Whether that's seen as a variation or an evolution would depend on who you ask.

saki: No matter which direction you choose I think that C will always be C.

mokuren: Exactly. No matter the play I dance, the fact I am me will not change. Thank you, princess. I can move forward whilst believing in myself now.

—end

Chapter 4

-outside starless, early morning-

hinata: Oh, it's Mizuki-! What are you doing out here? Could it be you were waiting for me?

mizuki: Yeah. About that talk we had yesterday... I've made up my mind.

hinata: Oh? By that could you mean...

lico: What're you two doing out here? You're blocking the entrance.

mizuki: Good timing, you come with us too.

-starless office-

mizuki: Oi Unei, I need to talk to you.

unei: What's the matter? Do you have some kind of issue...?

mizuki: Add Hinata in as B's understudy.

taiga: What...?

hinata: Happy to be working with you all!

lico: ...What? Like no seriously, what are you talking about? I don't get your reasoning at all. Akira is already our understudy... Isn't this absurd?

mizuki: You never said we can only have one understudy.

lico: That's not the problem here!

mizuki: If we need to have an understudy then I want it to at least be someone that I chose myself. Like me Hinata is... If it's this guy it's fine if he joins B. That's the conclusion I came to.

lico: No but... Why the hell didn't you discuss any of this with me first? Seriously, give me a break here.

mizuki: I just discussed it with you now, didn't I? What's the problem?

lico: Letting me know after everything is said and done isn't the definition of a discussion.

unei: Umm, so if I'm understanding the situation correctly, this is Hinata-san who was hoping to join Team B?

hinata: Yeah! I wanna join B and stand on stage with them one day!

yakou: I understand that an understudy is necessary for you. From a management perspective too it's better that you have one. But... To put it bluntly, we still don't actually know anything about Hinata.

mizuki: Who cares about that, didn't Kouichi vouch for him?

hinata: Could it be that you guys hate me? Am I really that unwanted?

lico: ...No. This isn't about whether I like you or not.

takami: You'll be required to work as a staff member too, have you been informed of that?

taiga: We were already told he's old enough to work right? Even though he looks so young.

hinata: Of course! I've been working up until now too.

takami: In that case, how about we have you help out in a trial period first before making anything concrete. The fact we do not have enough staff right now is the reality.

mizuki: So you're saying he's fine to join once he’s been recognised? Lico, you're fine with that too right?

lico: ...Whether he joins now or in the end makes no difference.

unei: U-understood. Then I'll have a staff uniform prepared for him as soon as possible.

mizuki: Don't go bitching about this to Kei either. If he has any complaints about this from here on out I don't wanna hear it.

takami: Sure, I'll pass the message on for you.

hinata: I'll make sure you all recognise my efforts. For the sake of my future too I'll do my best!

—end

Chapter 4 extra

-starless office-

takami: So in short, Hinata will be joining us as a trial member for the time being.

kei: Just as Iwami desired then huh. I wanted to avoid continuing to accept people without properly knowing their backgrounds but...

yakou: Yes. But it's also true that we need to solve the understaffing issue quickly.

takami: That's why we've accepted him for this 'trial period' is it not?

kei: Of course. That way we can determine a proper conclusion.

unei: But, this is great isn't it? With more staff the workload on everyone will lessen and you'll have more freedom to appear in performances... Well, that would be nice at least. It's not as simple as that though is it, haha...

yakou: No, you're not too far off the mark. Of course it won't be that easy, but if he does well familiarising himself with everything then it might be a benefit for B too.

takami: If you think about it from an objective perspective, this is by no means a bad thing considering the way Starless currently is.

kei: Disregarding Iwami's involvement, that is. It's not perfect but I would say it's still a reasonable decision.

takami: Either way, we're the ones that get the final say here. Isn't that worth something? Besides, isn't hiring people without knowing their true motives how Starless has always been?

kei: .....

yakou: If any problems come up we may be able to review once Haseyama has returned. We're increasing the staff without his permission after all. Actually now that I think about it he'll definitely have a problem with this...

takami: When that time comes we'll just have to persuade him with the fact it was all agreed on by the temp management team.

kei: In any case, in order to keep his complaints to a minimum we simply need to continue to improve our management until he returns.

—end

Chapter 4 SideA

-rehearsal room-

mizuki: So, basically, Hinata has joined us.

heath: I see. So that was the conclusion you came to then, Mizuki.

ran: Woah really? How bold.

lico: He's still just a trial member, remember that.

hinata: I'll help out a whole bunch in order for you all to recognise my skills! So, I'll be in your care!

ran: Sure, nice to meet ya.

kongou: Welcome, I'm—

hinata: Kongou, yeah? I've been following you guys since forever so I know you already. Heath, Ran and Lico too of course.

ran: Oh right, ya did say ya were a fan.

hinata: Yeah! I've loved you guys since the very first video I saw. Heath especially, I admire him the most. That's why it became my dream to hear Heath perform in person!

heath: What...?

hinata: I actually made a song myself too y'know. This is the lyrics card~ And he's the demo track! I didn't get to show it to you guys the day I danced, so I wanted to get your opinions on it today~ ♪

heath: ........

lico: And what do you expect us to say after hearing it?

mizuki: It's fine aint it? We just have to listen to it. This guy seems to be serious about how much he respects Heath.

heath: ...Ok then.

hinata: Oh my god yay! I'll play it now!

-they listen-

hinata: So? So? How was it?

heath: ...It's not awful, but I don't like it either.

hinata: What...?

-heath leaves-

hinata: He left... Was my song really that bad...?

ran: Mm~ It's not bad on a technical level, it just doesn't sound like a B song!

kongou: Yeah, I get what you mean... In the lyrics too, there's a lot of talk about 'love' and 'the future'... Lots of words that Heath never uses.

mizuki: Well that's cause Heath's the only one that can make songs like his own.

lico: ...Say, are you sure you actually want to join B?

hinata: I-I'll make it sound more like B! If I hang around you guys I'm sure I'll be able to understand B better!

—end

Chapter 4 SideA extra

-outside behind starless-

hinata (on phone): Yep yep that's right! He decided to let me in! Oh but they told me I'm still just a 'trial' member. Of course of course, I'll definitely get them to accept me. But still that was a bit of a shock... I thought it was a great song, I don't get what's wrong with it... Even though I love B so much. ...I know right! Next time I'll make sure to make a song that Heath likes. Oh, do you mean that snobby looking person? Fi~ne. Ok I'm hanging up now.

-phone beeps-

hinata: Guess I should go find him for now... Introductions are such a pain.

-time pass, starless hallway-

hinata: Ah, there you are-! Hey, you're Kei right?

kei: ...Hm? Oh, I take it you're the one known as Hinata.

hinata: Yep! Nice to meet you. You'd been working overseas a lot hadn't you, Kei? I've heard you're someone super famous over there.

kei: Did Iwami tell you that?

hinata: We might have to battle on stage one day but I'll be looking forward to working with you, you're my senior after all ♪

kei: If such an opportunity ever presents itself to you that is, sure.

hinata: Are you trying to say that I won't ever get to stand on the stage? That's rude of you~

kei: With the current lack of awareness you have you might end up leaving the store early. You've been on 'trial' the moment you set foot in here. If you cut any corners, or conduct even the slightest of suspicious behaviour you will lose your place here. Make sure you understand that well.

-kei leaves-

hinata: He's exactly as Iwa-san said he'd be…

—end

Chapter 4 SideB

-outside starless, evening-

???: So this is Starless? I suppose I'll go and ask someone first...

-behind starless-

mokuren: Hm...?

???: Excuse me, would you happen to work at Starless?

mokuren: Yes. Who the hell are you?

???: I heard that you're looking to hire a costume designer. If you could introduce me to whoever is in charge I'd be...

mokuren: Are you looking to get the job as a designer?

???: Yes, I made sure to prepare my portfolio as well.

mokuren: These are....

???: I'd appreciate just being able to talk to someone about the job first.

mokuren: Wait here a moment.

???: Understood.

-time pass-

mokuren: Thanks for waiting.

???: No problem. But um...?

mokuren: Take this with you.

???: A CD...?

mokuren: I'd like you to try coming up with a costume design for the song on that CD.

???: I see. Is this a recruitment test of sorts? Understood, I accept.

mokuren: How long will you need to work on it? If there's any other information you need tell me.

???: Right. Well, there's a few things I'd like to confirm...

—end

Chapter 4 SideB extra

-rehearsal room-

mokuren: Everyone, look at this.

kasumi: A notebook? No... This is someone's portfolio isn't it? Why do you have this?

mokuren: I want to know what you think of it first.

qu: Costume designs are they? Wow... They have a good sense for style. This one here especially, I'd love to wear it.

zakuro: My my, they're impressive enough for the most sophisticated of Team C to say such a thing.

hari: It is true that they're very refined designs.

mokuren: I see, I got it.

qu: Where did you get these? Surely you're not about to say they're Unei-kun's new masterpieces.

mokuren: I met a man who is looking to work here as a designer. I received this portfolio from him.

kasumi: So that's what happened~ I didn't know you had an acquaintance like that.

mokuren: I don't, I have no idea who he is.

kasumi: Wait what?

mokuren: I ran into him behind the store last night. And so I requested for him to try and make some designs for our new song.

kasumi: So um... Did you get any sort of permission from the temp management team beforehand or...?

mokuren: Did I need to?

qu: Did you not at least go and tell them that a man who hopes to work as a designer showed up?

mokuren: No, what's the problem?

kasumi: You should really tell us these things~!

mokuren: We haven't actually agreed to use his designs yet so what's it matter?

qu: Putting our team matters aside, that's not how hiring a designer works in the first place.

hari: I agree. Matters regarding the cost and such are not things that we can decide flippantly. Even more so if that person had been hoping to have a job interview.

zakuro: My oh my, Mokuren being the one getting scolded is quite the rare spectacle.

mokuren: Tch, how bothersome.

qu: If you continue doing everything on your own accord I think things will become even more bothersome than they are now.

kasumi: For sure.

mokuren: ...I'll go and tell them. However, I reserve the right to decide whether we'll use his design or not.

—end

To Part 3

#bsts main story #bsts team b #bsts translation

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notebooks-and-laptops · 2 years

Text

I love everyone who's into Steddy Hands but ALSO so many people are saying Stede/Izzys dynamic should be tolerating each other for Eds sake and doing threesomes but having no real love for each other and NO. NO my fics can't end like that. You don't understand.

They have one of the most interesting dynamics in the show. I'd put it right up there with Ed/Izzys, Ed/Stedes dynamic (hence this ship appealing to me so much) because like. Okay so first you've got their canon interactions:

"This isn't over Mr Bonnet." "Good. Because I kind of enjoyed it"

"He has terrible taste in lackies"

"His names Blackbeard DOG"

"Trouble in paradise"

"I stood up for you you little shit"

*homoerotically touches curtains* "plum the depths"

"DONT YOU EVER SHUT UP"

Okay and yes obvs it's funny imagining them having to put up with each other for Ed BUT this dynamic??? It's ripe for some enemies to lovers. I mean. They're like. Weirdly obsessed with one another and HATE one another IMMEDIATELY - Blackbeards not in the picture yet and Izzy is CUTTING UP STEDES TOP TO MAKE HIS BOOBIES LOOK ALL SLUTTY. Hes lying to Ed about him for...what reason? Ed doesn't care about stede at this point. It's literally just bizzare random immediate grudge.

And it's so much funner and compelling to me to watch them go from THIS to bickering but dealing with one another for Eds sake to OH MY fucking god I think I'm in love with that TWAT. Like. I just want them to get to that point. That's what I want.

I want someone to insult Stede and Izzy to punch them out and he's like...fuck. FUCK. shit. I actually cared that he was being shat on. Fuck.

I want Stede to be making tea and he realises he knows exactly how Izzy takes it and he has a lil breakdown because oh my god I know what that bastard likes to drink holy shit that's basically a love language.

I want Stede to be like 'this is Edward 🥰 the love of my life and... *sigh* this is Izzy...also the love of my life 😤💖'

I want Izzy to be like 'yes Captain' to Stede and then realise shit does he RESPECT this guy now what the fuck?

I want Stede to kiss eds cheek one evening in front of the crew and then kiss Izzys and Izzy decides not to stab him because...fine. maybe that was...Nice.

I want Izzy to be like...fuck this guy STILL can't hold a sword properly. Get the FUCK over here Bonnet I'm teaching you how to sword fight.

I want Edward to walk in one day from being on deck to find Stede and Izzy cuddling and they just look up and GLARE and dare him to say anything and ACTUALLY I'm only laid here because it's COMFORTABLE and I'm hoping Izzys arm goes to sleep and he SUFFERS-- wait shit darling did your arm actually go to sleep here let me move over for you--

I want someone to be like 'hey Izzy - you still looking for someone to kill Bonnet?' And izzy has to go 'unfortunately...no. I am in love with him. 😕 if u hurt him I will have to kill you I'm afraid. He's a fucking idiot tho'

I want Izzy to realise that Stede actually IS good at fuckery and oh shit he loves TWO dramatic theatre kids he has a TYPE

I just. I don't want the end game of steddy hands to be 'stede and Izzy put up with one another for Eds sake' I want it to be 'they love one another actually and it fucking sucks but also its the best thing that ever happened to either of them'

#steddyhands #ofmd #izzy hands #stizzy #stede bonnet #sorry this is a ramble its like 5AM and i havent slept yet

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iguana-eyanna · 2 years

Text

Never Liked The Taste of Whiskey

Pairing: Jack Daniels x Agent! Reader

Summary: Everyone knew that you hated Agent Whiskey as he bothered you with his flirty self. But one day, he doesn't. And that worries you that he's not around.

Warning: mourning of loved ones, alcohol, cursing

You tolerated a lot of things over the few months you have been working at Statesman.

Ginger Ale's loud typing when she was doing reports for instance.

Or Tequila's tobacco spitting, which you've kindly asked for him to dispose properly (he's still making progress).

But what you can't stand is your obnoxious, prideful partner:

Agent Whiskey.

His blinding white smile and that hat he wears religiously wanted to make you punch him in the face real bad.

Unfortunately, you did that once and you had a good old scolding from Champ who did not like that.

At all.

Surprisingly, Whiskey never asked to switch partners. Maybe it was to get back at you and make you burst into flames, but you still loathed him with your very being.

"Hey Chiquitita, what you working on?" He asks as he hangs over your computer which you've been staring at for the past hour.

"Doing our mission report, that you forgot to fill out." You said, looking up with daggers coming out of your eyes.

"I'm sorry Chiquitita, I'll make sure to owe you a cold one after hours." He said, following you as you placed a folder in one of the file cabinents.

"Why did I tell you my favorite band was ABBA?" you said in regret, never liking the taunting nickname he gave you.

"Because you love me, Colada." Whiskey said, calling you by your code name.

"That will be the day." You said, turning your heel around as you walked towards the corner to collect your things and head home.

"C'mon, everyone loves me." He says, hot on your tale as he sat on top of your desk.

You stop in place, trying not to blow your fuse. Coyly, you look at him with a sly grin as you placed your hands on your hips.

"Truthfully, I never liked the taste of whiskey." you said as you left him there, speechless.

After a few steps, you forgot that you left your phone at your desk. Cursing internally, you head back to your area.

Then you stop in your tracks, hiding as you see Tequila walking up to Whiskey who looked glum.

"Sure made her all riled up like a poor lamb in a trap, Whiskey." Tequila said as he saw the scene unfold.

"I'm surprised we never called her Fireball." Whiskey said, fiddling something small in his hand.

Tequila pats him in the back sympathetically.

"Champ wants you in his office right now to discuss next week." Tequila said softly as Whiskey nodded his head as the two men separated ways.

You pop out of your hiding spot and retrieve your phone quickly. You couldn't make sense of what just happened, so you make your way back home to forget about it.

That was seven days ago, and you haven't seen Whiskey since.

You tried going along your day, working on the files from past assignments (which Whiskey still hadn't touched) and you weren't assigned any new ones for the week.

It was weird to say the least. Even when you were lightly teasing about a mishap Whiskey made on a past mission, Tequila said to lay off from the jokes. It even made Ginger Ale uncomfortable in her seat as you all had lunch together.

Feeling fed up, you storm to Champ's office.

"Took you long enough." he muttered under his breath as he took his feet off the table.

"Where's Whiskey? Ever since he stopped showing up, you haven't assigned me anything! Did you promote him without me knowing? If so, he hasn't pulled his weight for the past two weeks and I've been pulling up the lack."

He looked at you for a long time.

"You done yet?" he asks so calmly.

You nod your head as you sit down on the opposite side of the table.

Champ straightens up from his seat and twitches his chin, a habit he did when he was thinking of something serious to say.

"Around this time of year, I excuse him for how ever long he needs." Champ said.

"Is there a reason why?" you ask hesitantly.

Champ bends down in his seat to retrieve a file from his bottom drawer and hands it to you.

"I felt like he should have told you first, but I reckon it's time you knew."

You unfold the file in front of you and suddenly you fell quiet.

You read each word carefully, almost gasping once you read the end of the report. You roughly wiped your face from the tears that threatened to fall.

"His own family..." you whispered softly.

Champ lowered his head and took off his hat for respect. "He hasn't been the same since. The most close to normal he has been was when I assigned him to you."

You shot up your head, confused.

"What do you mean, sir? I can't stand him, he drives me up the wall, he talks till my ears bleed-"

"Jack likes you, Colada." Champ said, a bit loudly.

You felt like your head was pounding, hearing those words and his real name.

Champ gets out of his seat and looks out of his window in the distance.

"I promised myself I wouldn't be in my agents' affairs, but I have to make an exception. Ever since you two have been working together, he's been happier than ever. You make him happy."

You slowly get out of your seat, looking down.

"Do you know where he might be?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's really nice today. You would have wanted to go out on a picnic like on our first date." Jack said, staring outward to the sun that was almost setting.

"I still can't believe today's the day I lost you. I try to tell myself to make peace for not being there to save you. But I can't darling, you were the first girl who made me want something serious, a future I never thought I needed."

He takes a pause and starts crying, seeing the headstone of his late wife and child.

"It was hard getting out of bed this past week. I can't remember the last time I had a proper night's rest or meal. Heck, you got me so worked up I couldn't even drink that cheap beer that tastes like crap." he laughs bitterly.

He admires his wedding band in his hand.

"You know, I never thought I take this ring off my hand until I met my partner. You'll like her, she's feisty and hates my guts. She makes me feel normal instead of the other agents walking eggshells around me. I didn't want her to know what I've lost, maybe because I like her.

You'll forgive me for moving on, right? I could hear you joking that you don't want me dying like a lonely, bitter old man. But I know she doesn't feel the same about me. And I'm okay with that, even if it kills me to know she thinks I'm just some dumb cowboy."

"I don't think that you're a dumb cowboy." a voice speaks out.

Jack turns around to see you in a Sunday dress. You dressed out of respect for today as you held a small batch of flowers.

"I bought these for them, may I?" You ask Jack for permission.

He slowly steps back as you make your way to the headstone, kneeling to place the flowers on the bed of grass.

You get up and stand by his side. All you did was stand there in silence until the sun dimmed.

You turn your head and realize he must have been dropped off or walked all the way to his family's resting place. You place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Let's take my truck, I think you need to eat."

The car ride to the nearest bar was silent. Maybe he was stunned that you found him there or that you were actually being nice to him. You didn't want to say anything either, as you heard more than what you needed to know.

Once you parked your car, you both got out of the truck and walked towards the door of the bar. Jack opens the door for you as you two found a booth.

After ordering food and drinks, you can see how this week has been hell for him.

His eyes looked tired, as well as having dark eye bags. He hasn't shaved as he was forming a bit of a beard. And his knuckles? They were sore and scattered with scabs as he probably was hitting something.

And hopefully not someone.

"Don't look at me like that." he said, breaking you from your trance.

"Like what?" You asked.

"Like I'm someone to pity over." He said.

You don't say anything. Jack wasn't the type of person to receive attention when he wasn't alright. He would swallow anything he was feeling until he felt normal and carried on his day.

His coping mechanism wasn't something you tolerated lightly.

"This whole week, I thought you requested to change partners. Thought you were tired of my ass."

He chuckles a bit, almost cracking a smirked.

"I'll never do that, but it is my job to tire you." He joked.

You laugh and smile widely, as he matched the same.

Once your food came, you two caught up about work and the past. You thought it was only a few minutes, but it turned out that you two were the last people in the bar as it was slowly getting closed.

"Better make our way." Jack said, getting the check and paying for it.

"One more thing before we go." You said, turning your head as you saw what you were looking for.

You went up to the jukebox and saw the song you wanted to play. Once you rolled a few coins, the music started playing. You turned towards Jack, who was dumbfounded as you played the song Chiquitita.

"No, no! I don't dance." Jack replied as you slowly went up to him.

"Since when did dumb cowboys don't dance?" you teased.

"Thought you said I wasn't dumb?" he smirks.

"You have your moments." You grinned as you took his hand and guide him to the middle of the empty dance floor.

You both laugh as he twirled you from time to time. Towards the end, you two both swayed side to side slowly, never wanting to to end this moment.

"Colada, what I said earlier today..." Jack said

"It's okay, we don't have to talk about it. Don't stress yourself out, old man."

You then see a slight tint of red on his cheeks, loving how you teased him so.

He holds you closer, feeling both of your bodies getting warmer by the second. You raise your eyes at him, then at his lips.

You two slowly lean closer till your lips met, and they were as if stuck until you had to draw a breath.

"Guess I do like the taste of whiskey," you said, smiling.

He laughs loudly as he holds you by your waist, kissing you again.

Jack Daniels isn't something to be tolerated, but to be loved.

#kingsman #kingsman the golden circle #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey imagine #jack daniels #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels imagine #pedro pascal #pedro pascal imagine #Pedro pascal x reader

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kirisaki-daichi-scenarios · 3 years

Text

a discussion of jabberwock with team interaction hcs + deeper nash analysis

for anon who asked "Can we get some headcanons for jabberwock members or like headcanons when they're together? (its okay if it was jason or nash only)" and made me realise it's about time i get these guys' personalities down

note before we start: cause i didn't know their names until i wrote this

zack is the bald one, allen is the one with a headband, nick is the other white guy apart from nash.

team hcs

nick gets bullied for being under 6ft, but not by jason

nah good old jason teases all of them for being short fucks, emphasising that they’re all 5ft tall in comparison to him

he 100% lifts things out of the others' reach and then laughs for ages after when they try get them

unfortunately though, they’re all used to this and now just ignore him. either that or nash stares at him so intensely jason actually repents and hands it back

zack’s another one with a very good glare, but he’s used it too often on jason and it’s since stopped working.

also jason gives me ‘straightens his back as much as possible when getting measured so he’ll measure in as 7ft’ vibes

oh and he thinks he could wrestle a gator and win. i’ve got no explanation for that except for the fact you can't tell me it's ooc.

allen’s very protective over his white headband - it’s his lucky item - but he’d never let anyone know that

he’s confident in his abilities like the rest of them, but there’s nothing wrong with wearing a headband just in case

(nash knows anyway)

they watch nba matches together and do not shut up once throughout the entire match - lots of jeering, booing each other if someone criticises a player they like, lots of “i could do that”, lots of “get your fucking hand out of my popcorn do you want me to punch you in the face” etc

they used to all live together, but nash has since moved out. he was sick and tired of trying to make people do chores, as the only one who kept their room clean.

yeah the others’ house looks like a heap of trash but also very much “where’s my toothbrush?” “it’s in the third coke can by the orange peel behind the sink” *silence* “yeah thanks” *a minute later* “who the fuck has been using my toothbrush”

they’re all “bro your dribbling sucks why are you on this team loser” to one another, but also very protective (aka arrogant for one another) if anyone else Dared to criticise one of their teammates

then again, what kind of person would criticise jabberwock

half of the time he spends with jabberwock, nash is a Single Mother TM trying to get a bunch of man children to behave; the other half of the time, he's just as bad as the rest of them

i talk about this a lot but i get the feeling nash is an exceptionally hard worker, but at least he gets to let his hair down around his teammates sometimes

nash is also the only person jason thought was truly ‘strong’ at first sight

and nash is also the only person who can beat jason in a fight, and also the only person who can get nash to train, and also the only person who can.. [etc. you see my point].

(n.b jason calls himself the ‘almighty me’, nash says that ‘even god can’t beat me’. point made.)

you know how jason silver’s motto is “I have never thought”

imagine him proudly stating that, before zack adds with a straight face, “yeah cause nash does it for you.”

in short, the team would fall apart without nash.

although the team’s communication and coordination is very fine tuned, nash is the guy who keeps everything in order off the court to prevent what is essentially a team of aces ('main characters', if you will) from falling apart

they hang out together a lot, but do all have other friend groups that do not overlap

team bbqs

unofficial rule not to criticise anchovies on pizza because the one time nick did, nash snapped

however pineapple on pizza is fair game, even though zack quite likes it

more than once, jason has brought a girl home and nick has stolen her attention away with effortless trick shots, funky ball manoeuvring etc

more than once nick has had to trek to nash’s place (with a black eye) at midnight to have somewhere to sleep

do you see a correlation?

oh and everyone in the team has been walked in on by nash when they were naked with some girl

nash has absolutely no shame

he apologises to the girl with a charming albeit insincere tone, and then remains standing in front of the bed/couch until his teammate does what he expected of them

usually it involves not having come to practice

allen learnt a few (emphasis on ‘few’) words of japanese before they travelled to japan and was disappointed that he never got to use them

that said, one of those words was hentai

and now a quick analysis of some panels

a) so there's at least one player who wasn't underestimating vorpal swords. if i were to overanalyse, i'd add that nick's wearing a hoodie (possibly athletic wear) whilst nash has a 'fancy' shirt on; perhaps nick wasn't expecting them to be going to host clubs instead of chilling/training?

b) i know what you're thinking: "how can you say nash is a hard worker when he didn't want to practice for the match". i reckon he was still pretty high on the complete and utter success of their previous match, that plus being around girls, encouraged him to have a more 'jason-y' personality. (either that or fujimaki didn't want to add too much depth/realism into nash's character bc he's unequivocally the villain, right? and obviously this helps with the plot and the jabberwock bad geniuses gom good geniuses rhetoric.)

earlier, i mentioned how nash is the only one that could keep the team together, and is thus the undeniable head of the team; here's a clear example. you can see both jason and zack have no interest in continuing - if anything, there's disgust in their faces, kinda just saying "we spat on all of japan, now we can go home". whereas nash won't allow for the slightest of possibilities that there might exist a team stronger than them, and hence agrees to the match. the key thing here is that the others do as he says without too much fuss.

another thing to note is nash's reference to harakiri. now what can we make of that, alongside his proficiency in japanese, in relation to his character? the way i see it, he's either a weeb or possibly has some japanese lineage. (you could spin that even further and say his mother was japanese, taught him the language, then abandoned him, and hence his almost excessive hatred/mockery of the japanese people.) (is that why he wanted to do another match in japan..?)

just a quick point. "thanks to him" - jason isn't so superior as to think that he could win this match effortlessly without nash's support. links pretty nicely with my earlier idea about how nash is the only person jason has always considered 100% strong.

yet another point about how nash is the strongest of the team in pretty much every way you can think of. you know how scary/powerful you have to be to shut jason up (after he's getting real pissed from being prevented from scoring?)

i personally think this is a pretty important panel, though i've never seen anyone mention it before. did nash grow up training in a professional basketball training situation, as opposed to growing up playing streetball like i suspect the others did? well, to answer that question, imma bring in another panel.

here we see visible rage on nick, zack and jason's faces - they can't accept their loss, which is fair enough. but i'd argue that nash's face seems to depict sadness more than it does anger like to rest of them, look at how downturned his mouth is - and he's looking away from the 'camera', as if hiding his shame.

when you combine that with what he says here, i have no doubt that this is someone who has experienced some proper lows in basketball - as would be expected from someone who's played 'properly'. he's possibly not even a prodigy like the rest of them - compare jason's motto with his. "i have never thought" versus "do not suppose opportunity will knock twice at your door".

there's various lines of thinking you could design with this - he might have been trained by alex (hence, himuro having heard of jabberwock, though he should have known of a team as popular of jabberwock regardless), he might have grown up with professional basketballer parents etc. but here's my own little theory:

nash received serious basketball training from early on - maybe because his parents were living vicariously through him, or maybe he always loved the sport and wanted to be no1. so there he was training away, but, as he grew older, it started getting all a bit too much.

he didn't want to dedicate his entire life to basketball. after all, his hobby is water sports and his speciality is boxing; that's a lot of different things to be keeping up with, whereas the pipeline for promising athletes demands people focus solely on basketball. as a result, nash become bitter: stopped attending practice regularly, got in trouble for trash talk of increasing severity, etc.

result was he was kicked out of the program.

only when he was no longer playing basketball again, did he realise how much he missed it. and hence he got into streetball, where he was tremendously successful as someone with so much training, 'elite skills', and the overly confident attitude to boot.

then, one fateful day, he met jason and the rest is history.

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miss-smutty · 3 years

Text

The Destructive Secret

Chapter 5

A/N- This is the angsty chapter I shared an extract from earlier. 😭😭😭

Summary- Chris lays his emotions bare and now you're only left with one option. Your secret needs to come out but how?

Word count- 1.6K

Pairing- Chris Hems x Reader x Liam Hems

Warnings- Angst, smut, swearing

18+ Only!!

Posted: 10th July 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @mostly-marvel-musings @longlostinanotherworld

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

The Destructive Secret Masterlist <<<<<

If you let yourself admit it, you wanted excitement, which is how you ended up here in the first place. You didn't want perfect anymore, you wanted a man who could do wrong and then make up for it in the most fulfilling way he knew how. Just thinking about it made your pulse race, Chris had put you through hell last night and now it was time for payback. You imagined him only a couple of floors above you, worried about the way you were going to act when you saw him and lord knows how much you're going to make him sweat.

You checked the coast was clear, peeking your head out of the door first, making sure there was no one in the hallway before you walked casually towards the elevator. Your heart rate was elavating almost as fast as the metal box you were encased in, travelling all the way to the top of the ridiculously high hotel building. You tried to block the thoughts of how high you must be from your head, distracting yourself from the thoughts of the walls closing in on you - your claustrophobia taking its hold.

By the time you stepped out of the elevator you were gasping for air, clutching at the walls to steady you, more than thankful that the ground was no longer moving. You pulled yourself together at least enough to actually put one foot in front of the other, your pulse still racing as you knocked on Chris' door. Chris answered almost immediately, you were knocked back like a punch in the chest when you saw him stood in only his boxers, his hair still wet from the shower. It'd been so long since you'd seen him undressed you'd actually forgot how breathtaking a sight it was, his muscles still gleaming with water he hadn't quite dried yet, that delicious line of hair that ran from his navel to below the hem of his boxers like a pathway leading to heaven.

Your eyes followed the line upwards to his broad chest until they met with his unblinking, sparkling blue eyes, alight with desire. You followed him into the room, not wanting anyone to see you and the huge smile on his face disappeared when he saw your face change from desire to anger. Expressionless and set firmly.

"Everything ok?" He looked you up and down, taking you in, pulling you towards him and into his arms. "Babe?" He looks down at you, moving you to arms length so he could see your face when you don't return his hug.

"No, what the fuck was that about last night?" You wriggle out of his arms, his touch making your body tingle. "Why you just pretending like that didn't happen?"

"Fuck sake, we doing this now?" He runs his hand through his hair, throwing himself back on to the bed. It takes everything in you not to straddle him but you meant what you said when you said you were going to make him squirm.

"Yeah we're doing it now. That was fucking cruel, for me and for Liam."

"It was cruel? How the fuck do you think I feel?" He sits up to look at you and you can see the tears in his eyes. "I have to see you together all the fucking time, I have to watch him all over you when we're at family parties." He stands up from the bed, pacing the floor in front of you. Your eyes were starting to sting with tears, you wasn't quite expecting this reaction.

"So excuse me if I was a little harsh but he doesn't appreciate what he's got. That he gets to see you every day and this..." he gestures to the room. "This is what I get."

"I know, I'm sorry it's hard. It's ok, we don't have to talk about it anymore."

"No, no, you wanted to talk so you can listen. You're constantly telling me how hard it is for you and how you can't do it anymore and i take it all, I listen to you taking it out on me all of the time." You sit down on the end of the bed, wishing you had just let it go. You can't help but cry now, wishing you could take it back, wishing you hadn't made him so upset. You're terrified at the words that are going to come out of his mouth, terrified that it's going to all end.

"I.. I'm sorry Chris." You cry, barely even able to look at your man falling apart in front of you.

"You never hear how hard it is for me, how badly I want it to be over with but you won't will you? You can't face being the bad guy for once. Last night I was willing to take the fall, I was willing to take the blame just so we didn't have to do this anymore and then I saw your face... Fuck..." He shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling, his hands tucked behind his head. "I saw your face and I knew, I fucking knew you still couldn't do it." Chris was crying silently, his anger and frustration falling from his eyes.

"Baby, babe please..." You get up, tucking yourself into his chest trying to calm him down. "Look at me Chris." You cup your fingers under his chin trying to get him to look at you.

"I don't want to fucking do this anymore, I can't do it anymore." He breaks down, finally looking into your eyes, the amount of pain you see there breaks your heart.

"I know baby." You pull him into you, so his heads resting on your shoulder as you sit back onto the end of the bed. "We're going to figure it out this weekend ok? I fucking love you though, I'm yours ok?"

Is it possible to love two people at the same time? You think it is, no you know it is because you do. You love them both so much, just maybe one of them slightly more and though you hate yourself for it, it's not Liam.

The atmosphere changes suddenly when Chris looks up at you, his eyes alight with flaring need. Pushing you back on to the bed, his knees either side as he leans over you, his face hovering above yours. You wince at the anguish and neediness you see in his eyes beneath the lust. You will satiate his need anyway he wants you to, just so you don't have to see that look in his eyes again.

"Show me you're mine." His hand cups around your burning heat, the heel of his hand pressing into your clit making you writhe beneath him.

You moan deeply for him as he pulls your panties off, discarding them over his shoulder. Sucking air through his teeth he rubs circles over your clit, slowly.

"Say it, tell me how much you want me." He groans, his cock straining against his boxers.

"I want you. I want you so badly." He leans back to watch you as you move your hand between you both to cup his straining cock, squeezing gently. Your body arching from the bed at the feel of his hardness.

Chris groans gruffly, a deep animal like noise leaving his lips as he pulls out his cock, lining up with your opening and pushing himself in hurriedly. He reaches down to take your lips in his, claiming them with heavy kisses making your lips feel swollen and plump. Your neck straining to reach him as he clings to your bottom lip with his teeth pulling back, watching his cock slide in and out, the tightness of your walls clinging to his length with its own thirst and need.

Gritting his teeth as he grips on to the headboard with one hand, the other seizing your ass in his big hands, lifting you up as he burys you into the mattress with his relentless pounding. You whine loudly, the feel of his cock stretching your walls becoming too much. Your mind whirring, ears ringing as you release around his grip.

You can see the desperation on his face, the urge to cum and the desire to show you what you are missing dueling in his mind. His face contorted into an uncomfortable expression as he eases his pace, thoughts drifting through his mind as he tries to control his heart rate. You cup your hand on his cheek, trying to get him to look at you but he can't, one look and it's all over he wouldn't be able to resist.

"He can't do it like I do. That's why you keep coming back isn't it?" You turn your head to the side to hide the tears that threaten to fall, heart broken at how this whole situation is breaking him, how much he's in denial about the way you feel about him because you're not tough enough to do anything about it.

"Speak to me, tell me. I need to hear it... Please." His voice breaks.

"Yes, fuck baby. You're all I want." And that's all he needs to hear until he thrusts deeply inside of you, painting your insides with his cum, a gutteral moan emitting from his lips.

Rolling over onto his back, he pulls you onto him, your head resting in the crook of his neck, his hands stroking your smooth back.

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too." You plant a kiss under his chin, too worn out to move properly. Emotions well and truly kicking in now.

"I want to do that every day, multiple times." He sighs.

"Soon, my love." You soothe.

He turns on his side, looking at you, his leg wrapping around yours. Holding you close, afraid to let you go.

"I want to be able to take you out and show you off, instead of hiding away in hotels rooms. I want everyone to know you're mine, not Liam's."

#smut #chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth fanfic #chris hemsworth smut #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth x you #liam hemsworth

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deltaengineering · 3 years

Text

Spring Anime 2021: Embarrassment of Riches

So this current anime season absolutely stinks, which just makes the last one look even more impressive. Well, maybe not all of it...

Zombieland Saga Revenge

First off, you don't need to tell me that the following is a severe outlier opinion. We good? Ok. ZLSR is, in a word, subpar. I liked S1 back in the day, but it was already in the process of getting lazy towards the end. S2 continues this trend and is basically just another idol show. And as someone who actually does watch other idol shows I have to say that it's not a particularly good one of those either. The zombie gimmick has mostly stopped mattering and we're just doing what every idol show does, only with the odd occasional sight gag. The alleged subversive qualities mostly amount to a flashback for Yuugiri, which is admittedly the best part of the show but feels like it barely has anything to do with anything. Apart from that, it's a bunch of generic idol plots, rehashed character beats, shoddy attempts at twists (while not connecting to any setups from S1), and the obligatory "idols give us hope" ending, which is terribly hackneyed and flat out bad. Tae gets further memed into the ground, because of course she does. And there's stuff that was simply never good to begin with, like Kotarou and his comedy schtick, which gets truly insufferable now that there's no qualities to distract from it. It really makes me think that S1 wasn't even all that good to begin with and seems like an attempt to turn this surprise success into an easy money longrunner with no edge and no ambitions. "The idol show for people who don't watch idol shows" indeed, but not the way you mean it. 4/10

Bakuten

But not to dwell on the failures, with the second show we're already above the cut — barely. This one got my attention with its really impressive performance scenes early on and it totally sticks to that, which is even more impressive. But besides that? Well, this is by far the most predictable show in a season where I watched an unambitious Kiraralike and put ZLS on blast for having no ideas. The characters are a mixed bag, some are cool (Shida, Asawo), some are very annoying (Mashiro), but those are the supports. The main cast is extremely one-dimensional, which is fine until they try to heap a ton of pathos on their lead, which doesn't go well. But I guess execution matters, and Bakuten is slick enough to get by. Writing this down in stark daylight I feel like I overrated this show somewhat (I actually put it over the next one originally, which definitely doesn't hold up when thinking about it), but I was indeed mostly entertained. 6/10

Yakunara Mug Cup mo

Yeah. Of course Mug Cup definitely doesn't invent or subvert anything either, but it's a pretty good Kiraralike that's always entertaining to watch. Explaining the qualities of such a nothing genre is as difficult as ever, but it mostly comes down to me liking the characters and it having nothing to annoy me. It's shorter than normal, which is a plus for slim shows like this. And yeah, you can make an excessive amount of dick jokes with the clay fondling. That helps too. Looks are just fine, pleasant but nothing out of the ordinary. Comfy low-effort anime. 6/10

Vivy: Fluorite Eye's Song

This one is decent, but sadly still a major letdown. Because the first few episodes of Vivy were excellent and kicked ass, but then it became increasingly clear that the writing can't cash the checks the ideas wrote while the action starts running into severely diminishing returns. Vivy just keeps slowly getting worse and worse as it goes on, not by a huge amount each episode but by the end there's a pretty sizeable gulf between potential and result. Going into detail would probably be a little much for this venue because there's a lot, but from the top level view the issue is that while Vivy has good fundamental ideas and steals at the right places, it just isn't a smart show — it's schlock, and by the end, poorly thought out schlock that tries to smooth out every problem with liberal application of the big feels hammer and le epic twist at that. Yeah, couldn't tell that the Re:Zero dude was aboard here, for sure. That said, it still works pretty well as entertaining schlock that is not to be taken too seriously, and the characters are generally just very fun to watch even when they're doing stupid things. Still, I can't in good conscience rate this higher than Beatless, a show that looks like butt but properly executes on its ideas. 6/10

Super Cub

So this is 100% a Honda commercial, and I got really mad a Yuru Camp last season for being a blatant shill. Yet I'm feeling this, what gives? I think the main difference is that Super Cub is specifically a commercial for one product (and a very iconic product at that), while Yuru Camp is so all over the place that it ends up mostly a commercial for consumerism in general. And when Super Cub goes too hard on the product (which it does), it's at least pretty entertaining. That's something about Super Cub in general: It goes hard. Your regular Kiraralike this is not, because it's uncommonly slow, focused and moody - yes, it almost measures up to Yuru Camp at its best and demolishes it at its worst. Also, it's just extremely amusing to see sadblob Koguma grow a huge grizzly biker beard and become a badass outlaw dad to her goofy wife and cute daughter, all thanks to the power of afforable personal transportation. Needless to say, that can get unintentionally silly, but Super Cub has so much charm that it doesn't matter — it's great when it's good and still funny when it's not. 7/10

Shadows House

Shadows House turned up with a lot of potential, and I have to say it at least delivered on most of it. It has some problems; notably I'm not a fan of how the entire middle turned out to be a tournament arc of sorts that seems curiously inspired by Resident Evil memes, crest-shaped intentations and boulder punching included. I also think that this is a show that would be perfectly fine without explaining much, but I guess it is a shounen manga after all so we got dumped on eventually anyway. At least that came late - close relative Promised Neverland didn't show that much restraint. Shadows House is generally well written though, with great characters, interesting interactions and a great hook. But what really makes it memorable is that it's exceptionally good at the cute/creepy contrast, something that is often tried but rarely works as well as here, with great character designs and very appropriate production. I hope this gets a sequel, because it seems like it's just getting started. 7/10

SSSS.Dynazenon

Coming in with a fondness for Gridman, Dynazenon didn't have to do much to convince me. The surprise though is that it's not a rehash even if it's basically the same show, a character drama where occasionally huge and goofy fights break out. Dynazenon is Gridman done better, and the interesting part is how it accomplishes this - mainly by being far more conventional. I do appreciate that Gridman went for something weird and almost experimental, but that only really paid off towards the end while most of the show was a distraction/holding pattern. It just didn't feel like there was enough material for a full series there, more like a movie maybe, if even that. Dynazenon fixes this by just being a TV show, with an actual cast of characters that each have their own arc. And by spreading the material this way, Dynazenon ends up having a lot more nuance than its intensely focused predecessor, while having the same themes and not actually being any deeper. In a way, Gridman ends up looking like the spinoff in retrospect, while Dynazenon is the full package. 8/10

Thunderbolt Fantasy S3

So how good was this season? So good that Thunderbolt Fantasy doesn't end up at the top, that's how. And all the elements that made Tbolt such a sure thing are still there, big hammy puppets doing stunts and scheming never gets old. However, I do have to note that at this point, the writing appears to have gotten too comfortable. I don't expect it to ever top the amazing S1 ending, but at this point it's like Tbolt has stopped trying to deliver on endings at all and seems in the process of retooling itself into a longrunner instead. Barely anything gets resolved in S3 (the climax is that the climax of S2 is resolved again, for good this time... maybe), and everything else is just setting up plotpoints for the next season. Tbolt is truly lucky that it doesn't actually need to resolve anything to be a great time, but at this point I have to say that I'd appreciate it if they wrapped it up with S4. 8/10

Nomad: Megalobox 2

Speaking of sequels to shows I liked, Nomad doesn't so much improve upon its predecessor but steamrolls right over it. This is a tall order, since Megalobox was surprisingly good for a sports shounen and had a real nice, heartwarming ending that Nomad instantly negates for purposes of drama and everyone being extremely miserable. That sounds like a pretty terrible idea - and it would be, if Nomad wasn't as excellent as it is. To call it not the same show would be an understatement, because it's a true sequel, not just the same characters doing their thing some more, or new characters doing the same thing as the old ones did. Indeed my biggest problem with Megalobox was that it still closely adhered to its genre template and was very predictable; Nomad fixes this issue thoroughly. Nomad is about questioning what being a hotblooded shounen protagonist eventually leads you to, and how to fix everything you screwed up by being one. You could call it a deconstruction, but that term has been so abused for cynical, edgy "thing you like actually sucks" takes that I feel like it doesn't really fit here. Nomad isn't cynical at all, it's just a character drama about some boxers past their prime, and it being a sequel to a show that is indeed rather formulaic just enhances the experience. My biggest issue with it was that I really like what they did with Joe in this story, so the big focus on Mac's backstory felt like a distraction for a long time. But in the end that turned out to be absolutely necessary to make the ending work. The ending's just great, by the way, and I shall say not more about it. 9/10

Odd Taxi

Yeah boy, here's the show that has apparently become somewhat of a "greatest show you didn't watch" meme, which I can feel smug about because I don't need YouTubers to tell me what's good and followed this from day one. Anyway, Odd Taxi is indeed great, the greatest show in a few years even. What starts out as seemingly a relaxed hangout show in the vein of Midnight Diners quickly turns into a psychological murder mystery while never losing its quirky humor. The character writing is outstanding, with even small bit players being on a level that the average anime wishes it could have for leads. And the rollout of the mystery is exemplary, with answers given and new questions raised every episode with a satisfying and logical payoff in the end. This is also the rare anime that has rock solid production from the first to the last second; it's never really flashy but excellently done and highly consistent nonetheless. And the music just owns. I have a few complaints, mainly that there's a few logical weaknesses in the story (which wouldn't even register in a lesser show, but sticks out here since the rest is so immaculately constructed) and that the ending overextends on the emotions when the rest of the show is so reserved and dry in comparison. But those are only the reasons why I didn't give it perfect marks, and I almost did that anyway. 9/10

#Zombieland Saga #bakuten #yakunara mug cup mo #vivy: fluorite eye's song #super cub #shadows house #ssss.dynazenon #thunderbolt fantasy #nomad megalo box #odd taxi #anime #review #spring2021

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indigobackfire · 3 years

Text

HPHM MC Profile ✧

Indigo Silverwood

“ Getting near you is like stretching my hand into an open flame. I know I’ll burn myself, yet I crave the heat. ”

Nicknames: Indie. Didi (only by family). Silverwood. Silvie (by people who don't bother learning her name).

Gender: Female.

Birthday: 6th of March, 1973.

Born: Edinburgh, Scotland.

Mother: Clarin (née Tramer) Silverwood - Half-blood, Ravenclaw, English.

Father: Palmer Silverwood - Pureblood, Slytherin, Scottish.

Siblings: Jacob Silverwood (b. 1968), Phoenix Nobleworth Silverwood (b. 1973) - Phoenix was adopted after the death of his parents when he was just a couple of months old.

Ethnicity: Scottish, English, (probably with some Spanish roots).

Sexuality: Straight.

MBTI Type: ENFP-A

Blood Status: Half-blood (by her muggle grandmother on her mother's side).

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor.

Appearance

Eyes: Naturally yellow/golden/amber (nobody knows why, since their parent’s eyes are brown) but both hers and Jacob's eyes are like this). She wears glasses for her Astigmatism.

Hair: Naturally dark brown, but she asked her mother to turn it red when she turned 8 and doesn't plan on undoing it any soon.

• She’s average tall and reasonably strong build, honey-brown skin littered with scars from venturing with the vaults and being freaking attacked by dark wizards, big hands and feet due to her height. A large chest that grows at once in her 4th year (”Everybody's starring, Rowan!”).

• She keeps her nails short. Her makeup is often down to just some lipstick (mascara smudges her glasses, eye shadow irritates her eyes), her hair is often long wavy and fluffed for extra volume. She often smells like coconut oil from all the creams her mother insisted she used.

• She looks a lot like her father which gives her a rather rough look - like a handsome but wild animal - yet has enough of her mother’s attributes to be considered attractive and poise if well-groomed.

Magical Aspects

1st Wand: Red Oak wood with Dragon Heartstring core, 12″, pliable. "The true match for a red oak wand is possessed of unusually fast reactions, making it a perfect dueling wand. Its ideal master is light of touch, quick-witted and adaptable, often the creator of distinctive spells, and a good person to have beside in a fight." Indigo had good times with her red oak wand but as the years went by, her emotions start affecting the wand's efficiency. The wand would bleed a glowing red light in moments of extreme physical or emotional pain and become extremely unstable.

2nd Wand: Beechwood with Thestral hair core, 13", rigid flexibility. "The true match for a beech wand will be, if young, wise beyond their years, and if full-grown, rich in understanding and experience. Beech wands perform very weakly for the narrow-minded and intolerant. When properly matched, the beech wand is capable of a subtlety and artistry rarely seen in any other wood, hence its lustrous reputation." Indigo has a hard time adapting to her new wand, it's stubborn to her spells and acts upon its own will especially considering its unusual and unstable core, Thestral hair, which is of unknown habilities, except for its use in the mythical, Elder wand. Her wand is one of a kind which is why she has to adapt her abilities to match the wand's requirements. Despite all, it's a remarkable instrument for undoing curses/spells and detecting danger.

Animagus: Somali cat. She's already certain she wants to be a cat animagus - harmless, of easy blend, and enables an approach to humans -, but decides for the Somali breed, during the process, for its sumptuous golden fur and agility.

Patronus: Kangaroo, for its fighting spirit and family values, not to mention its strength. (In-game it's the Abraxan, but only because I thought it would be cool.)

Patronus memory: (During the first times) Her first Quidditch match, not just because they won but because everyone she loves from Hogwarts was there, and she got to cheer their victory together. (Later years) Her family gathering for hot cocoa during a rainy night with Jacob with them.

Abilities: Legilimency, and great emotional influence over magic (Don't get her frightened or angry or she will blow you up).

Boggart: Her boggart changes constantly - she can't decide if it's either because she overcame the old fears, or if the new ones toppled those, creating a pile of fears. And since the new DADA teacher is always teaching Riddikulus again and again, the famous curse-breaker is always the most awaited in the line.

Jacob, eyes dark and musty, clothes covered in blood, someone's blood. He walks to her and slowly raises his sleeve, the Death mark is craved deep in his flesh and it glows. Behind him, it rises the Dark Lord.

Riddikulus: He turns into a younger version of himself from a photograph she recalls laughing about with her mom (he's running wearing a loaded diaper, crazy hair, rosy cheeks).

For a while is someone in a cloak threatening to cast the killing curse over her friends, whispering each of their names like a snake but she's frozen unable to stop them.

Riddikulus: The cloak falls to reveal a bunch of gnomes piled up wearing wigs and makeup.

For another, very realistic corpses of all of her friends spread at her feet, a dark wizard across from her, it's over and there isn't anything she can do to save them anymore - it was a grim day in DADA, but they all wanted to see it didn't they?

Riddikulus: This is the one time she fails to defeat a boggart, letting the horrible scene consume her, she falls to her knees defeated, and even after Rakepick's shouting, when she tries to cast the spell, it fails again and again.

This last boggart came to show everyone around her how truly terrified she was, not for her own life, but for that of those around her. How despite the confidence she was constantly displaying, in reality, she was afraid she couldn't save them from whatever was trying to get her.

Amortentia: Her Amortentia smells like Jacob's cologne — which he used to borrow from their father which is why she recalls so easily —, fresh Catnip ever since she became an animagus, bakings just out of the oven — extra intensity if there's chocolate involved, and freshly washed sweaters (from hugging Barney and the Weasleys).

Mirror of Erised: She's under the shadow of a tree, Jacob on one side along with Phoenix and Aspen, Barnaby's head resting on her lap, Rowan by her side, and Orion for some reason. They're laughing and reading books, it's an eternal spring afternoon.

Miscellaneous

Pets: A Sphynx cat, Mocca, a brown and white rat, Franccesca, and (later in her Hogwarts years) a Great Horned owlet, Plum.

Things she always carries with her: Her wand (duh), a handmade Gryffindor bracelet that used to belong to Jacob, the Handbook of Magical Theory, a handful of peppermints, a pouch with some money, a flask of Wideye potion, some Murtlap Essence, and a family photo during Christmas of 1980.

Lucky Amulets: She has a dream catcher made by Phoenix from feathers he shed during transformations and a "broken" knight from Murphy's chessboard who decided to leave the game for good and now sleeps on Indigo's nightstand with its horse, she likes stroking the horse the night before every Quidditch match

Best Friends

Her brother, Phoenix, takes the crown in matter of importance because, well, they're siblings who grew up practically like twins, but their relationship deserves their own detailing.

Rowan has got to be the first. Not only they share the same adventurous nerdy spirit, but Rowan also is the one to stick around even when everything is dark and uncertain and Indigo's popularity plummets. Indigo is always excited to hear whatever Rowan has to say - most times about books or Bill Weasley - and she's rarely fazed by the weird things Rowan does.

Murphy McNully is a close second, having officially met in the middle of her second year, they're both still fresh in a matter of friendships which allows them to open up, both in desperate need of company and support. He's often a companion in the girl's library and common room study sessions and sits with them during meals.

Charlie Weasley has her heart and soul from the moment they first speak during year one, but it actually takes a while until they form any real bond, which begins after he finds out she has been seeking his brother's help to search for the cursed vaults.

Ben is a friend she cherishes deeply but often finds it hard to break through his protective shell which makes him feel distant even when he opens up to her. Unlike her friends, she grows more liking towards Ben after he has his change in personality, as he feels more open about himself.

Chiara is a friend she deeply appreciates for her courage in reaching out for her help in times of need and trusting her with her secret. In Marauder fashion, she likes keeping an eye on her on the nights of full moon - which is good to train her cat tree climbing. They often have afternoon tea together and she teaches Indigo useful healing spells.

Andre and Indigo didn't have a great start, as she thought of him as arrogant and inconsiderate, and he thought she was careless and selfish. But when she helps him with a transfiguration mishap during their 3rd year when he was trying to be creative - and the reason he now has a two-headed cat - they start opening up to each other and begin a friendship. He's a good friend to confide in about the mundane aspects of her life and Quidditch intrigues.

Orion means to her more than she can put into words. Not only he is her team captain, but also a dear friend whom she turns to in times of emotional instability cause she knows he'll be the one to successfully help her clear her mind. They enjoy each other's company even if they don't have anything interesting to say. They sit together during every Divination class for as long as the subject goes.

She has no "rivals" as she finds that sort of labeling quite petty, but would definitely punch Emily Tyler on the stomach and perhaps Face Paint kid for all his eavesdropping.

She has an easier time bonding with her fellow Gryffindors since they spend most of their time together in classes, lunch, and hanging around in the common room.

Dormmates: She and Rowan got placed in a room for three people, as the ones for five were already full, along with a girl called Tanya. But at the beginning of their 4th year, they find out she has bailed out to another dorm room claiming they 1. Snort and speak in their sleep on a regular basis, 2. Will eventually endanger her with their cursed vault shenanigans, 3. Will get her killed - which, spoilers, actually happens, oops. So they basically have the dorm for themselves.

Academics

Favorite Classes:

Potions

Flying

DADA

Magical Theory

Least Favorite:

Transfiguration

History of Magic

Arithmancy

Favorite Professor: Kettleburn. Despite CoMC not being on her top favorite subjects, she enjoys her time in his classes and reminds her of her grandfather on her father's side who's a highlander wizard.

Least Favorite: Binns. Just retire you old man!

Quidditch Position: Chaser. Despite enjoying her time as Gryffindor's beater, she notices the position takes a toll on her physical wellbeing, having to carry a heavy bat and being injured by bludgers more times than she can keep track of. So she returns to her chaser position after a year.

Favorite Team: Montrose Magpies. She never had an interest in Quidditch before she began playing but decided to pick a team to support. Of course, it had to be a Scottish team and settles for MM because of professor McGonagall who's also a supporter.

She's not indigo's face claim, but it's hard to find good red-haired characters out there.

I guess I'll leave her background and history for another post since it interweaves very tightly with her sibling. And since I'm still exploring her story.

Well this is just an intro to my beloved MC

#hphm #hphm mc #hogwats mystery #oc profile #gryffindor #indigo silverwood

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alliterative-albatross · 3 years

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So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".

Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.

But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).

AFTERSHOCKS

Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.

IF I FALL

Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?

But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.

You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.

Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).

A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.

I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.

PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.

JAVIER PEÑA

My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.

OCs

I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.

And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.

HANNAH AARONS

Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.

Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔

PARTING THOUGHTS

Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.

You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪

My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again.

That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.

Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise!

I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.

I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory.

On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.

Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)

Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.

Mad love and soft hugs,

~ Jay

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