#but I got a late start and am tired so bon appetit

[agent-raven]

Wilting Petals

Vyn Richter × Reader

Warnings: contains character death

This has been posted here from my Wattpad account -LUKX3-

Vyn stood near your bed silent. The silence was horrifying for you. It scared you so much because it spoke so much about the situation. You looked up with wide eyes at Vyn and saw the soft smile on his face. A smile which didn't reach his eyes. His eyes which were so sad that it made you tear up.

"I am sorry."

Vyn's deteriorating health led him to take health tests and results weren't favorable. Something which one would never expect to happen has happened.

It was the usual normal day for you. Surrounded by all the paperwork in the office you sighed and again started to focus on it but the thoughts in your mind made it impossible for you to think about them. The thoughts in question were about your husband Vyn Richter.

You both had been married to each other happily for three years now. To say that your relationship was going good would be an understatement. It was going great and strong. Vyn never failed to shower you in his love and you too didn't hesitate to show the love you had for your beautiful husband.

Lately, Vyn had been getting sick often. The last time he got sick, it was very extreme and so to make sure of what was affecting his health you both decided that he needed to get a check up. Today, the results of the check up will come in and so your nerves were all worked up. You were praying to God to let the result be okay and that Vyn was just getting seasonal fevers.

After finishing all the work for the day you finally took a breath of partial relief and started to prepare to go home. You got into your car and started to drive towards your home while you had butterflies in your stomach. The anxiety was getting too bad and it looked like that it would not go away until you saw Vyn perfectly healthy. You soon reached home and put in the door password to enter it. Seeing that Vyn's shoes were kept outside you thought that he was home.

"I am home!", you said like usual when Vyn was home and were greeted with the usual "Welcome home" by Vyn. He gave you the same usual smile but somehow it looked different today as if it was trying to hide something. Ignoring the feeling of your gut you went close to Vyn and hugged him.

His embrace felt warm and comforting. You could smell his scent mixed with the cologne he uses everyday. You bury your head in his body and close your eyes. Vyn chuckles at your unusual behavior but doesn't say anything after all he didn't mind you being in his embrace. You brought to him the sweet comfort of home and love. Anyone who would look at you both right now would think of how lovely you both were together.

Vyn put his hand on your head while he still had one arm snaked around your waist. "Why don't you get fresh and till the time I will set out the table for both of us." he said in a soft voice to you. You nodded while still buried into him clinging onto him like a child would to their mother. He chuckled at you again and tells you again to get fresh to which you respond by getting out of his embrace and telling him that you will get fresh soon so that you could help him. And off you went to get fresh.

When you came back after getting fresh Vyn had already set up the dinner table for you two. "Aww, I told you to wait. I wanted to help you set up too." You pouted at him but nevertheless sat down at the dinner table. "Let me do the hard work for today. You are tired after a day of hard work. You can help me next time." Vyn still had the smile he wore whenever he was around you. He looked at you with his loving eyes as if telling you that he loved you just too much. Getting embarrassed about it you turn to your food. " Bon appetite. "

You started to dig into the delicious food made by Vyn and you couldn't help but let out a moan of satisfaction at how good it tasted. "I am telling you Vyn, the meals cooked by you are just so good! I can't help but want more of it." He chuckled at the happy look you had on your face. You both struck up a small conversation on both of your work place these days and when you both didn't have anything to say you would sit in comfortable silence.

You both were finished eating and heading to your bedroom to call it a night. Vyn as always was first recorded about his day and then entered the bedroom. You were still up waiting for him.

"You are still up?" he asked you.

"Well, of course I am..... You got your reports back today right? How was it? Everything.... Is okay, right?" Your voice went from high to low as the sentence ended showing your anxiety. Your head was down all the while you spoke because you were too scared to look up and find the answer from his expressions.

Vyn stood near your bed silent. The silence was horrifying for you. It scared you so much because it spoke so much about the situation. You looked up with wide eyes at Vyn and saw the soft smile on his face. A smile which didn't reach his eyes. His eyes which were so sad that it made you tear up.

"I am sorry."

A look of horror settled on your face. What was he even saying to you!? Why was he saying this!? All these questions revolved in your mind.

"Vyn, if something is wrong then tell. Why are you saying this!? You are scaring me Vyn." Your voice came out breathless and desperate to know about the truth.

Vyn was walking towards where you sat on bed. Upon reaching you, he hugged you tight but this hug just felt wrong. So wrong that now tears were falling down your eyes. Your face was buried in his body, tears streaming down which soaked his shirt wet.

"V-Vyn, please.....tell me. What happened. It's nothing serious, right?" You were trying so hard to console yourself, trying so hard to believe that nothing was wrong with the person you loved.

On the other hand, silent tears fell from Vyn's eyes on seeing your condition. He hated the fact that you were crying because of him. For the first time in his life, he felt so weak and helpless as he did right now. That he couldn't do anything to comfort you.

"I am sorry Y/n that I won't be able to spend my whole life with you. That I will have to leave you alone so soon.... I am terminally ill Y/n."

You looked up to see at his face and it had a painful look of longing on it. Your body trembled as you choked on your tears. Your face was a mess from all the crying and your eyes were swollen and red.

" H-how.... Vyn how di-" You couldn't complete your sentence. It was too much for you to take in. You couldn't help but let out those choked whimpers from your throat. You were trying so hard not to cry but it looked like your eyes won't just listen to you. Tears continued to stream down from them. Snot was coming out from your nose.

That night was a particularly painful one. You don't know how much time you spent in Vyn's embrace just crying and crying and when you fell asleep. Vyn had decided that he will get treated even if the chances to get completely okay were very slim in his case.

You were doing your very best to smile around him and keep him happy. To keep him off from the stress he was experiencing right now but while doing so you had forgotten about your own mental health. So, when Vyn saw you struggling he would tell you to give your mind a rest and focus on yourself too. But, how could you leave him and focus on yourself? You wanted to make him smile and keep him happy till the time you were with him.

Vyn's birthday was coming up soon. You had decided that you were going to give him the best birthday you could ever and so the preparations had started. A nice simple date in your house would be the best you thought, after all, you wanted to spend all of your time with Vyn. Secret dealings and smuggling of things took place whenever Vyn was not at home. You had kept all things hidden somehow in the attic. Vyn didn't ever suspect about the things you were planning for him.

The D-day was finally here. It was a work day for both of you but you had taken a leave without telling Vyn. As usual, you woke up getting ready for work. A goodbye to Vyn and off you went to your office but the only difference was that you didn't really go to office. You had gone to the florists to get white peonies. When the florist asked you for what purpose you were getting them and answered the question she immediately said no to your suggestion.

"White peonies represent regret. Not really something you would associate with birthdays and that also the birthday of your husband. It would be better to go with pink peonies. They represent love, good luck and prosperity."

After buying the pink peonies and thanking the kind florist for her suggestion you went to get the cake. Everything that you needed for his birthday was there with you now. All that was left was to assemble it in your house.

You went home at a time when Vyn wasn't there and was at his work. You started making the preparations. You tried making fancy food for him which didn't turn out as fancy as the ones Vyn would make but nevertheless were happy at how it had turned out. Next was decorating the living room. You went with an elegant look because that's what suited Vyn the most. Arranging balloons and decorative took time because only you were there to do all the work. By the time you were finished it was almost time for Vyn to get home.

Changing into the dress you had prepared to wear today and doing a light make up for the occasion you waited for Vyn to get home. Till the time he wasn't home you checked everything twice. It looked perfect for his birthday.

Finally, the sound of door opening echoed in the house. You quickly went to the door with party popper and popped it on him.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY VYN!"

The startlement on his eyes was as clear as day. You grinned at the rare look that had come across his face and hugged him. Breaking out of his shock, he hugged you back with a sigh and murmured a thank you to you.

On seeing the things you had done for him he couldn't help but break out in a smile. "You didn't have to do all this. Just being beside you today was enough for me." he said with a sigh.

"What do you mean by that? Of course I had to do this. I wanted to make your birthday as special as I could. Now now, lets not waste our time talking. I have prepared many things for you. Go and get fresh! I have laid out the dress for you to wear."

With a kiss on your forehead, he went inside to get fresh. You laid out the food and cake till the time he came out. After coming out from his room, Vyn was greeted with the sight of food and cake in front of him. He gave you a soft smile as you beckoned him to come near the cake to cut it.

He took the knife in his hand and started to cut the cake as you sang the happy birthday song to him.

"Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday dear Vyn

Happy Birthday to you!"

He took the piece he had cut and fed it to you while you also fed him a cake piece and smeared some of the icing on him. You laughed at how he looked and took his pictures. How lovely everything was going for both of you.

You gave him the gift you had prepared, a silver necklace with yarrow flower in it.

"The yarrow flowers represent the love in marriages and also represent healing. I hope that you get well soon Vyn and we continue leading a happy marriage life till we grow old." A soft loving smile rested on your face.

"..... Won't you help me to wear it?"

" I will."

You helped him to wear the necklace." It looks really good you! Hehe, my choice really is good. In necklaces and in husband." You acted smug at this while Vyn laughed at this.

"Of course it is."

You both danced together that night to songs. Laughing, giggling and smiling at each other, carefree of the problems you were facing. It really was one of the happiest nights of both of your lives.

Nine months had passed since Vyn's birthday. Time seemed to flow too fast, not even giving you time to cope up with the things going on around you. At start everything was going okay but slowly and steadily Vyn's health was degrading. He wasn't working at his center anymore. The rounds to the hospital had increased and so had your fear of losing Vyn.

It was as if the universe was telling you that you didn't have much time left to be with him anymore and as if to make it even more clear one day, Vyn's condition degraded so much that he had to be hospitalized.

The doctors had told you that it was time for you to say your final goodbyes to Vyn. That his condition was too bad to be restored back. You trembled in fear at the thought of losing the love of your life.

A few days had passed since Vyn had been hospitalized. You were there with him for the whole day only leaving his side when it was really necessary. You couldn't help but shed tears in secret on the situation you were in right now. You would cry when he was sleeping or more like pretending to be asleep. Vyn knew he was only a guest of few days now. He shouldn't have any regrets but he was having them. Regret on leaving you behind like he was going to. He wanted to spend more time with you. He wanted to be selfish and always be with you till your last breath but looks like the opposite was happening right now and that also too fast. Why was fate so cruel? Why should he leave you behind? Why should he let you be in the pain you were in right now because of him?

He hated himself so much for this. One day at night, as usual you were there right beside him talking to him,reminiscing about your together with each other.

"Yes, I cried so much on our wedding day. Everyone was making fun of me." You laughed.

"And you had so much difficulty in remembering the marriage vows but you at last remembered it." Vyn said with a small chuckle.

"I still remember them you know! I had put in so much dedication in remembering it!"

"Really?" Vyn asked while faking his doubt.

"Really! See, I will recite it right now!"

"You don't need to though." Vyn chuckled at your childishness. His skin which used to glow when he laughed was now deathly pale.

"I, Y/n L/n, take you, Vyn Richter to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow."

Vyn remained silent at your vow.".... I am sorry... For being such a bad husband. I couldn't give you anything you wanted before I was going away." Vyn's throat felt full to brim while saying this.

You were shocked and saddened at what he had just said. "No Vyn, you were the best husband to me. Why are you saying this? You gave me everything I had wished for. Your time, your love, your care, everything. I couldn't have wished for anything better. Why are you saying this? Pls.... It saddens me so much that you are saying such things. Don't blame yourself Vyn... " Somewhere in between while you were saying all this, tears had started to come out of your eyes and on seeing this Vyn had also let go of the dam he had built.

"Then why are you always crying because of me? I have hurt you so much. I am leaving you like this. I hate myself so much that I will be leaving you here all alone."

You shook your head still crying. "How can I not cry when someone I love is leaving me. It's not your fault Vyn... We all have to go through the pain of loss in our lives. I love you very much Vyn. I love you so so much." You kissed his forehead. Your tears dropped down on his face mixing in with his tears.

" I love you too Y/n. I am so sorry for leaving you alone so soon. I hope that I can be with you in our next lives too." He hugged you.

All night you both whispered sweet loving things to each other. Comforting each other,exchanging kisses. It was a night that you would never forget your whole life.

The next morning came. Sun rays shined on your warm body which was sleeping next to the cold lifeless body which had gone into an eternal sleep with a smile on his face. Vyn Richter was proclaimed dead that morning having died in the early hours of morning.

The funeral was soon held with the rituals of Svartian church. Diplomats of the Kingdom of Svart, friends, close ones, Duke of Svart were all present on the day of funeral.

The hall booked for funeral was decorated with white peonies. It was sunny outside despite the gloomy atmosphere which prevailed around you. Last wishes were said all the while you stood still there. Tears had long stopped coming out from your eyes because all of them had already been shed at the hospital. The coffin Vyn was sleeping in was so beautiful and so was the man lying in it. A beautiful smile was on his face which showed how happy he had been in his last moments. He left without any regrets.

You stood there while they buried him deep under the ground clutching onto the yarrow flower necklace you had given to him as his birthday present. At that moment you remembered something.

"Yarrow flower represents marital love and healing but also represents cure for broken heart."

You couldn't help but chuckle at that the irony of your situation. Tears were again flowing down your face.

How is it supposed cure your broken heart when the love of your life had already taken away your heart with him?

-CONTINUE?-

Author's note- Uhm, hello everyone reading this fic. This is my first time posting a fic on Tumblr. If you all want a second part of this fic then do comment because I have a basic concept of what I wanna do. So, bye! Take care you all!

(I am so awkward T-T but I will try to improve. Okay bye for sure now!)

[vermilionwinds]

6. Avatar

She was always looking for a shape.

Not literal (although, in her girlhood she did dream wistfully of the sumptuous curves that age never did deign to deliver her), but something she could be. Something solid. Real. Unassailable.

Brume rat wasn’t something to be. It was something you were. (The gap between those two things is a yawning chasm.) A something that told the world you were nothing, and deserved the nothing it put into you. The absence of bread. The absence of ease. So many other absences. They filled you up with nothing, hoping a piece of it would stick, fester, grow until the insides matched the outsides.

She didn’t know much, but she knew enough to know that the nothing wasn’t her. Not when there were so many somethings to be. (Her mother told her of somethings, once. Not that she herself was much of anything now; just an absence that smells of lavender.) To be a knight, a traveler, a magician, a hero. Those were shapes. Something that held their contours, stuck in the minds of men. Their walls were solid enough you could pour things into; daring, clever, witty, bold, handsome, beautiful, and they would hold those things inside of them. They were the people that even nothings knew the tales of.

And so, wanting shapes of her own, she pretended.

Her, and her sister both. She cut out shapes for them, and they stepped inside them, and gave everything around them shapes too. Rubble took the shape of castles. Sticks, the shapes of swords. And in their kingdom of craft paper she imagined what it was like to have a shape, and the rush of it made her bold. Daring. So confident was she in her shape that she ran headlong into a something more defined than she was. (The shape, a count.) The collision sent her outline exploding outwards from the impact. And her father saw it happen, and knew all too well how dangerous wanting a shape was, for people like them. And so he dragged her back home, to feed her his own nothing until enough of it stuck. Until she remembered what she was. But she was always looking for a shape, and she would not be denied it.

And so she ran away.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Laito Route ー Chapter 2

ー The scene starts in cafe ‘Tarte Tatin’

*Ding ding*

Waiter A: Welcome.

Laito: A table for two, please. (1)

Waiter A: For two, you said? My sincere apologies. There are no free tables right now, so could you perhaps wait a liーー

Laito: Nfu~ What about the VIP seats out on the terrace?

Waiter A: ...How do you know about those...?

Laito: Fufu~ I’d rather not have you underestimate me~

They’re available, right? Come on, hurry up and escort us.

Waiter A: ...

Laito: Also, this lady over here is this year’s Queen of the Carnival, you know?

Yui: Eh...? Me...!?

Laito: Are you sure you can keep the Queen waiting~? 

Waiter A: I-I shall go confirm with my manager so...!

ー The waiter runs off

Yui: C-Come on, Laito-kun...Why would you mention the Queen thing!?

Laito: Eh? Why, you ask...? I only spoke the truth, right?

Yui: Even so, you shouldn’t threaten him.

Laito: You see, this cafe has seats on the terrace which are reserved for VIPs.

You are the Queen while I am a direct descendant of that man, so I don’t see the problem?

Yui: B-But...

Laito: Ah-ah, that being said, as to be expected of the Carnival. It’s packed in here.

There’s Vampires everywhere I look, it’s making me sick.

Yui: Geez, Laito-kun...

( But he’s right, so even Vampires like to lounge in a cafe like this... )

( Honestly, now that I’m here, the Demon World is completely different from what I imagined. )

ー The head waiter arrives

Head waiter: Dear customers, my sincere apologies for the wait. Well then, I shall show you towards the terrace seats.

Laito: See~? They were available after all. Didn’t I tell you?

Head waiter: ...! You are...! Che...

Yui: ...?

( This waiter...Did he just click his tongue after glancing at Laito-kun...? )

Head waiter: ...Well then, I shall escort you. This way, please...

Laito: Well, let’s go. Come on, Bitch-chan...Your hand, please~

Yui: Y-Yeah...

ー They start walking

Yui: ( I wonder if I just imagined it...? )

¨TIMESKIP*

Head waiter: This is our menu.

Laito: Well then, what do you want, Bitch-chan?

Yui: Uhm...Let’s see.

Laito: Nfu~ You can take your time. In the meantime, I’m going to step away for a few seconds... (2)

Yui: Eh? Step away...? Where are you going?

Laito: I’ll be right back, don’t worry. I just remembered I forgot a little something~

Yui: Something you forgot?

*Thud*

Laito: Nfu~ Exactly. A little something~

Yui: ( H-Hold up...He’s going to leave me all by myself!? )

( Actually, he’s the one who told me not to leave his side earlier... )

Laito: What’s that~? You look awfully anxious, Bitch-chan...

Yui: I mean...

Laito: No need to worry, really. I’ll be back before you know it. See you~

Yui: Ah! Laito-kun...!

ー Laito leaves

Yui: ( He actually left... )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ( Laito-kun’s not coming back... )

( Also, everyone’s stares are really making me uncomfortable... (3) )

( Laito-kun, please come back soon... )

Head waiter: Dear customer, please excuse me.

ー He takes a seat across of Yui

*THUD*

Yui: ...!

*THUD*

Yui: ( W-What...? This waiter’s manner of speech is very polite, but he’s extremely violent. )

Head waiter: Che. That damn fiend...He’s acting as if he owns our VIP terrace again!

I do not care if he is a son of the Sakamaki household, I am going to tell him my mind today or I will go crazy!

I am sick and tired of getting pushed around by that lad! I’m pretty sure he was lying earlier as well?

There is just no way a little human girl like you could be the Queen of the Carnival!

ー This catches the other customers attention as they start making a fuss 

Yui: !

( H-He’s talking way too loud! )

( O-Oh no...Now even the customers all the way in the back have turned around and are looking my way! )

U-Uhm, you see...

Head waiter: ...Hmph. Well, I do not care about your personal convenience at all.

I assume you probably got yourself involved in dangerous business. How pitiful.

...You’re just a puny little human!

Yui: ( Once again, keep your voice down...! )

ー The others approach Yui

Yui: ( ...For some reason everyone’s gathering this way...It’s turning into a whole crowd! )

Head waiter: ...Well, I’m pretty sure it’s too late already, but let me give you one warning.

If you stay with him, nothing good will come your way?

Yui: Eh...? What do you mean...?

ー The waiter leaves

Yui: ( Wait, he left... )

( Nothing good will come my way...He was talking about Laito-kun, right? )

( I wonder what Laito-kun has done in this store in the past...? )

...

( The crowd is still around... )

( What to do...? What if somebody were to attack me right now...? )

( Laito-kun isn’t around either... )

( Uu...I’ve gotten really anxious. )

ー Laito suddenly appears again

Laito: Haah~ Bitch-chan~ Your helpless expression looks rather anxious and lovely as well, you know?

Yui: Kyaah! L-Laito-kun!

Laito: Were you that lonely without me around? Nfu~

Yui: Y-You startled me...Where were you, for real? I...

Laito: Oh well, who cares?

Because you waited here for me like a good girl, I managed to fetch the thing I forgot.

Now I’ll stick by your side for the rest of the day, okay...?

Right. In that case, why don’t you take a seat on my lap instead of on that chair?

Yui: N-No thank you...

Laito: Eeh~What a shame!

Ah, by the way, have you decided on your order?

Yui: Ah...I’m sorry. Come to think of it, I have yet to think about it.

Laito: Geez, you really are so hopeless, Bitch-chan...

Nfu~ You really can’t do anything without me around, can you?

Yui: That’s not it...

*Creaak*

Laito: By the way, Bitch-chan. Did you know that the name of this cafe, ‘Tarte Tatin’, is actually the name of a dessert?

Yui: Eh? No...I did think it sounded like one though.

Laito: Hey, hey! You’re obviously interested in it now, right?

After all, you’re the one who suggested we would go in here, remember?

Yui: ( The dessert which became the name of this cafe... )

Selection

→ I’m interested! (☾)

Yui: Do you know what kind of sweet it is?

Laito: Nfu~ Of course I do.

In that case, I’ll teach you everything about the tarte tatin~

...The ins and outs, get it?

Yui: Yeah...

( But...Come to think of it, Laito-kun likes macarons, right? )

( He might actually be knowledgeable about other desserts as well... )

Laito: Fufu. In that case...From your human perspective, this story takes place in the long, distant past...

There was this hotel called ‘Tatin’ in a small village in the French region of Sologne.

The cook there was just so busy, he accidentally messed up on one of the apple tarts one day.

Yui: Eh? He messed up?

Laito: Exactly~ So, to try and fix his mistake somehow, through trial and error...

This tart...The tarte tatin was born by pure coincidence!

Yui: Heeh! Amazing! So that’s how the story goes.

To think he invented a whole new dessert through a simple mistake...

Laito: Nfufu~ Right? Makes you want to try out stuff...No matter what it may be, no?

→ A little?

Yui: Yeah...I guess I am a little?

Laito: Right? Of course you’d be. You can’t wait to try it, right? I totally get you.

Yui: ...? Laito-kun?

Laito: In other words...

I think we should try ordering this place’s tarte tatin.

Yui: I see. Since it’s called ‘tarte tatin’, it must be a tart of some sorts, right?

Laito: It’s just a regular apple tart. Nothing special about it.

Yui: ( ...? Isn’t he acting a little odd? )

Laito, Say, say, you want to give it a taste too, don’t you?

Yui: Y-Yeah...

( I feel like he’s really insistent about having me try this tart...? )

Laito: I heard it’s the number one seller on the menu since the cafe is named after it.

Yui: Heeh, I see!

( But well, he’s recommending it to me this strongly... )

In that case, I’ll try ordering this ‘tarte tatin’, I guess.

Laito: Nfu~ Okay! Waiter! Two tarte tatins, please! Oh, and tea as well~!

Yui: ( Haah...For now, I’m glad Laito-kun actually came back...I feel relieved. )

( That being said... )

Looking at it like this, this really doesn’t feel like the Demon World, does it?

Laito: Heeh, you’ve already gotten used to this world jam-packed with Vampires? As to be expected!

Yui: Ah, that’s not what I meant...

( Get used to it? If anything, I broke out in a cold sweat earlier... )

It’s just, I was thinking that between looking through the menu at a cafe like this, or calling over a waiter, there really isn’t much of a difference between both worlds.

Laito: Aah, that’s what you meant.

It seems like a lot of Vampires have become accustomed to human practices as of late.

Thanks to a certain weirdo...That is.

Yui: A certain weirdo...?

Laito: In short, the peculiar interests of a well-known Vampire King.

If not, do you really think a cafe which serves human suits would be this popular?

Yui: ( Laito-kun’s Father’s influence really is amazing... )

Laito: Ah, Bitch-chan. Seems like our tarts have arrived.

Head Waiter: ...Sorry for the wait.

Yui: Uwaah...! It smells lovely!

( It looks really good, but this is food from the Demon World, right...? )

( ...Considering that, I’m a little scared. )

Laito: Fufu...You’re not gonna eat?

Yui: Ah...S-Sorry!

Well then, let me have a bite...

*Flap flap flap*

Yui: ...! Kyah!

*Cling*

Yui: ( !? W-What’s this...!? )

Laito: Oh no! Are you okay, Bitch-chan?

Yui: Yeah, I just dropped my fork. I’m fine.

Laito: Geez...That bat really needs to learn some manners, disturbing a Vampire’s table like that...

Ah, hey, you there! My bad, but could you fetch us a new fork and knife?

Waiter A: Understood.

ー The waiter runs off

Laito: ...Phew. Ah, Bitch-chan. You can have mine. I had yet to dig in after all.

Yui: Eh? It’s fine. I’ll wait till he gets here...

Laito: No buts! No need to hold back. It’s ‘ladies first’ when it comes to this kinda stuff, no?

So, come on! Hurry up and have a bite?

*Thud*

Yui: I-In that case, I’ll dig in.

Laito: Go ahead, bon appetit~

*Cling*

Yui: ...! Delicious!

Laito: Really? I’m glad~ In that case, keep going! Here, have some tea too!

ー Laito pours her a cup of tea

Yui: T-Thank you...

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Phew, that hit the spot! Ah...Yours is kind of taking a while, don’t you think?

Laito: Aah, yeah. It’s fine though.

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ( ...? H-Huh...? )

( For some reason...My body feels... )

Laito: Huh...? Is something wrong?

Yui: I-It seems kind of hot in here...all of a sudden...I wonder if it’s because of the tea...?

Laito: Eh? I don’t feel hot at all though...?

Do you feel unwell, perhaps? That’s bad! It’d be bad if something were to happen to the Queen of the Carnival!

Hey, Bitch-chan...? Are you okay? Your cheeks are sort of red as well. Do you have a fever maybe?

Yui: A fever...? B-But...

( I don’t have cold shivers or anything...How to put it...It’s like my body is flushed... )

ー Laito moves closer

Laito: Aah...My poor little Bitch-chan...

Your body is all flushed...You don’t know what to do? Right?

Yui: Eh...? How...?

Laito: Nfu~ After all...It’s thanks to the drug I snuck into the tart.

Yui: Eeh!? D-Drug!?

Laito: Exactly~ A little something which will make you feel hot and bothered~

Fufu~ The bat which flew at you earlier was one of my Familiars.

I set him up to ensure you would eat the tart which had the drug snuck into it~

Yui: ...! How could you! That’s so mean!

Laito: Aahn~ Oh you...~! I can’t get enough of that glare~

Haah...I knew I made the right choice going to fetch the drug earlier.

Yui: !? Don’t tell me, that’s why you left earlier...!?

Laito: Fufu~ That’s exactly why. Say, Bitch-chan...How do you feel right now...?

Aren’t you just dying to have me do this or that to you soon~?

You know...Something like this...?

*Rustle*

Yui: !

( H-His foot is...Under the table...! )

L-Laito-kun...! Stop!

Laito: Oh dear~ Did I brush against your leg? The table’s rather cramped after all. My bad, my bad~

Fufu...What’s wrong, Bitch-chan? Your face keeps on turning more and more red, it seems...?

But better be careful? We’re inside a crowded cafe after all...

You already stand out in this world as is...

If you behave too suspiciously, your surroundings will catch on in no time, you know?

Yui: ...!

Laito: Haah...Say, that feeling of doing something naughty is just so exciting, don’t you think?

*Rustle rustle*

Laito: You have to endure it so nobody finds out...Ah, but...

*Rustle*

Laito: Taking the offensive approach and simply exposing your everything...is a very valid choice in my personal opinion as well...~

Fufu, I’ve got turned on just from imagining it...Haah...Say, wanna just say fuck it and have a go?

Yui: W-What are you saying!? Cut it out already!

Laito: Aah~ ...I can’t hold back no longer...Hey, Bitch-chan, just a little bit, please...?

Let me suck your blood here...!

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: S-Stop! Laito-kun! Everyone’s looking, see!?

Laito: Isn’t that what makes it great...? Hey, come on...Starting with this arm...Hah...Nn...

ー Laito bites her

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: Ow...No...!

Laito: ...Nn...Fufu. You’re so lewd, Bitch-chan...Letting your voice slip like that...

Look...Everyone’s watching us? Doesn’t it turn you on beyond belief...? Nn...

Nn...Haah...Now where should I suck from next...? Your nape...? Or maybe your shoulder...?

*Rustle*

Laito: Ah, right. Why don’t you just take off your clothes here already...? Nfu~

Yui: Stop!

( ...! The people around us are...! I have to stop him somehow...! )

( In that case...! )

...!

ー Yui knocks over his tea cup

*Shatter*

Laito: ...! Hot!

Geez, Bitch-chan! What are you doing!?

Yui: But...

Laito: Ah-ahー The cup broke because you made a fuss...

Yui: ( I had no other choice, or he would have never stopped I feel... )

Laito: Well, I won’t particularly get upset about this sorta thing though. More importantly, hurry up and let me...

ー The head waiter runs their way

Head waiter: ...!! Aaaah! How could this happen!?

Laito: ...What do you want? You’re so loud. We were just getting to the good part...Could you not get in our way, please?

Aah, if it’s about the other tart, you don’t need to bring that anymore.

Head waiter: How could you break that teacup!?

Yui: ( W-Was that teacup really so important...? Oh no...! )

U-Uhm, I’m the one who...I’m sorry...!

Laito: Ah-ah, I can’t believe this. 

A Vampire is getting his panties in a knot over just a little teacup...

Head waiter: ‘Just a little teacup’...Excuse me!? Do you have any idea how valuable of a good that was!?

Laito: Eeh? I don’t know. Besides, if it’s really that important, shouldn’t you have kept it locked away?

Head waiter: ...! Today you will not get away with this...!

ー He grabs hold of Laito

*Rustle*

Head waiter: Anyway, come here! I’ll have you explain the situation.

Laito: Haah~!? Why do I - the customer - have to do that!?

Head waiter: Shut up! Just come!

*Rustle*

Laito: Owow! What are you doing!? Didn’t you hear me when I said I don’t have the time for that right now!? Let me go!

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ...

( What should I do...? I’m the one who broke the cup though... )

( But it’s because Laito-kun was trying to do weird things... )

*Rustle*

Laito: Aahー Geez!

If I had known this would happen, I should have just sucked her blood right away without pulling any extra tricks!

Yui: ( H-He’s not reflecting upon his actions at all... )

( ...In that case... )

I’m sorry, Laito-kun!

ー Yui gets up and runs towards the door

Laito: Eh!? H-Hold up! Bitch-chan!?

Where are you going without me!? Hey, are you listening!?

ー Laito is taken away

*Thud*

Yui: ( Laito-kun, I’m sorry...! )

( Things really did go south after choosing Laito-kun as my bodyguard...! )

...Either way, I should probably head to the castle, huh?

( I should be able to pull that off somehow! )

ー She leaves the cafe

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Literally he says ‘it is just me and Bitch-chan...’, but since there is a set phrase in English to use when entering a cafe/restaurant and ask for a table of (amount) of people, I used that instead.

(2) 席を外す or ‘seki o hazusu’ is a common phrase in Japanese to say that you’re going somewhere real quick. (E.g. to the toilet, etc.)

(3) Literally she says that their stares are ‘painful’. Of course, this does not mean an actual physical pain, but it is making her uncomfortable.

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 1

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 3]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/ AYATO]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ SUBARU ]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ YUMA ]

[thecoffeenebula]

I care for you

Hellooo, I’m back! 

Still working on that Marcus Moreno fanfic. It is almost finished. It will probably be ready in the next week or so. 

But I wrote my first Javier Pena fanfic. So here it is. Bon Appetit!

Narcos

Javier Pena x Reader

Warnings: language, mentions of trauma, reader has a panic attack, fluff, kinda smuttish toward the end....but not really... updated it a little.. didn’t seem right

"You're a dick, Pena."

Seeing Pena's face was enough to ruin the entire day for you. You really weren't in the mood for work today. Not after what happened that weekend, but you had to put up with it, so you just sucked it up and got over with it. The moment you walked into the office and saw Pena's face you felt the frustration built up inside of you. The words had to be said. You had to let him know how you felt. Steve looked up in surprise wondering what this could be about. Pena seemed just as surprised as Steve.

Now it wasn't new that Javier was a dick. Everyone knew this. But when it was said out loud, by you, no less, meant something was up.

"What did I do?" Pena turned his gaze upon Steve who was giving him a look. Pena grunted arching his eyebrow as his gaze fell upon you, waiting for you answer.

 Steve rolled his eyes. Knowing damn well what Pena was capable of doing. He already speculated a half dozen things that Javier could have done to you.

There goes another partner, Steve thought. You were the best they had yet. This wasn't your area of expertise, but you were a damn good cop. It was your dream after all to become a detective. Back at home your job was to find people. You could find almost any person who didn't want to be found. You liked the work. That's why this job offer seemed like a new challenge for you. You were ready for something new. After what you had been through, you needed to be on new grounds. Colombia seemed the best place to do so.

 "Not this shit again" Steve mumbled under his breath trying to keep his business to himself… for the time being at least… He wanted to see where this was going first.

"You know damn well what I am talking about, Pena." You said taking a seat at your desk.

Pena did know what you were talking about. He didn't expect this reaction. He knew you were mad, but it all happened two days ago, he thought you would have cooled down by now.

 He just sat there quietly staring at you. You looked so beautiful. That fierce look into your eyes.

"Fine. Call me a dick all you want. It won't change what happened."

The tension in the office was to cut. A silence fell over the office. It went on for hours as none of you wanted to speak to one another. Steve couldn't take the silence anymore.

He stood up from his desk making his way toward the door "I hope that by the time I've come back you two resolved this thing that is going on because you are getting on my nerves. If we are going to capture Escobar, you to have to fucking get your shit together".

He sounded like a disappointed father who wanted his kids to behave. The both of you didn't dare to meet his eyes. He rolled his eyes and walked out of the office, cursing under his breath.

 It was just you and Pena now. You noticed Javier's mouth open ready to speak up. You really didn't want to deal with him and his explanations for his behavior, so you stood up from your desk without saying a word, leaving Javier alone in the office. Javi sighed pained and let his head drop into his hands letting it rest there for a moment. Why did you have to make things so complicated?

Pena decided he needed a cup of coffee. He left the office just like his partners did and went down to the kitchen.

 He didn't want you to respond like this. He didn't even know why you responded like this. He didn't really do anything wrong. He helped you.

You hadn't said a word to him since this morning. Even though it was to tell him he was a dick.

He knew he had to talk to you. But how was he going to if you didn't want to. You and Steve were buddies. You have worked together before and you and you already knew Connie because you went to the same school. Steve mentioned that you have been acting strangely lately. Maybe this is the reason why you are focusing all your anger towards him. Steve also mentioned something about a partner, but he wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying. He needed to know what was going on with you. He needed you to be you. He can't work with this version of you. This version kept making things complicated.

 He walked past the file room lost in his own thoughts as he noticed the door was open. He noticed you standing in the middle of the room reaching for a box on one of the shelves. He hesitantly decided to walk in knowing once he was in the room there was no going back. He closed the door behind him for some privacy.

You jumped a little at the sound of the closing door noticing Javi standing opposite from you. Javier was staring at you with his honeyed puppy eyes. You looked away, trying not to get lost in them. That happened from time to time. You tried to deny yourself the feelings that stirred up every time you looked at him. Nothing good could come from it. Besides he was way too busy fucking other women than to notice you.

 What was he doing here? Did he come here to lecture you or did he finally see you and came here to have sex with you. It would be really stupid of him if he thought that now was the time to do so. No matter how much you fantasized about it, you really didn't want any of it now.

"Not in the mood, Javi" you said staring down at the file you were holding.

Javier has to hide his laugh. The thought of you thinking that this is the reason why he is here amuses him. Especially because you are mad at him.

" That is not why I am here. I want to talk to you."

"Not in the mood for that either" you said coldly, still keeping your eyes on the file you’re holding.

Javier began to lose his own temper here as well. He was getting a little tired of this behavior. Did you really despise him that much?

He sighed rubbing his eyes “Fine, then just listen….,"

"I don't know what is going on with you, I don't know what, but something is clearly going on. All I did that night was protect you.... I was just trying to protect you."

 You had contact with a narco who told you he had information about Escobar. You agreed to meet him. What you didn't know was his loyalty to Escobar. You shouldn't have trusted him. You had been rubbing to deep, looking for contact with the men and women who should not be trusted at all, but you did it anyways. It had to get you somewhere. Pena had been keeping his eyes on you. Tracking your every moment. Just to make sure that you didn't do anything stupid, which you did. In Pena's eyes you were reckless and naive. You didn't see the risks. That's why he stopped you before you could walk into the trap that had been set out for you.

Pena wondered if this had always been your workstyle. Steve told him it was and that it wasn't. You used to be way more careful with what you did. Especially with cases like these. You would not just risk it, no. You analyzed every situation as long as you could before having a well built-up plan. You didn't have a plan, not really. You just wanted to catch them. No matter what the cost would be.

You dropped your files onto the box you grabbed them out of. His intentions might have been good, but it lost you your bait.

"You lost me intel Pena, you know that? I had him right there. He could've told me more about…."

"They weren't going to tell you anything (y/n), they were going to kill you!" He raised his voice to make his point clear. You've seen him as furious as this but he has never shouted, not at you.

"They know who you are. These people know everything. They aren't some regular criminals. They are far more dangerous than a common criminal. You have to be more careful! "

His words upset you slightly.

"Why do you care so much about what would happen to me?"

"Why don't you?" He responded, sounding very concerned.

He was right. You should care about what happens to you. Why didn't you. You didn't know, or you did but you didn't want to admit to these thoughts. They scared you.

"I….I…." Tears began to fill your eyes.

"Do you have some sort of death wish?" Javier grabbed a hold of you having a firm grip on your arms shaking you "do you?!"

Tears started to roll down your cheeks.

"No"

He stopped shaking you, grounding you. Hoping you would come to your senses.

"Then what are you doing?"

Your entire body started to shake, you couldn't stop it. Neither could you breathe really well. It felt as if the air was being sucked out of you.  It became hard for you to swallow. A gagging feeling began to form. Images were flashing in front of you.

"I... I just want to feel something."

"You what? You don't realize the consequences of this job."

Your legs couldn't hold you anymore. You collapsed. It was a good thing that Pena we still in reach of you. He caught you before you it the floor. You really gave him a scare.

"Shit! (Y/n)" you were clearly having some sort of panic attack. Caused by him.

"(Y/n), talk to me."

"I…." The images in your mind were overtaking your thought process. It was all happening again.

"It's there…. it's always there" you cry out.

"What is?"

"That afternoon, at the steak out"

Javier had no clue what you were talking about. Was this that thing Murphy told him about? He encouraged you to keep talking.

You and your partner had led to a group of bank robbers. They were clever, always knew ways to outsmart the police. You were a step closer this time. You were going to catch them in the act, but it went miserably wrong. Apparently, they had been tipped off by someone. They knew the police was there. Your partner got shot. One of the bullets went through his head… of the head of Your partner. The man you loved. The images of his death body covered in blood. They haunted you.

"I lost him. They killed him."

"Who?"

"My partner" you told Pena the story. He nodded and listened.

"Okay, I understand you are trying to cope with your trauma but that is still no excuse for your reckless behavior."

Javier was rubbing circles on your back, hoping it would calm you. It did. You felt like you could breathe again.

"You don't understand Pena. I haven't felt anything ever since that happened. Nothing. I thought that maybe if I would take this job, I would come back to my senses but all it did was push me in further. All I want is to feel again, Javi."

Javier let go of you now your steadier then you were a few moments ago. He sent his hands to your face to wipe away your tears that were rolling down your cheeks.

"You won't find them in near death situations." He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. It was a bit awkward. You never hugged. It felt nice though.

"I don't want you to get hurt."

You loved this side of him. This softer side. He was so gentle. If only he would show this side more.

He pulled away from the hug a little, still holding you.

You stopped crying. Your eyes were red. Your entire body felt weak from the shaking. If Javier would let you go you would probably still collapse. You tried to smile at him.

"You care about me?" You said with a hint of teasing in your voice.

Javi grinned rolling his eyes. Of course, that wouldn't go by you quietly.

"Yes I do…. Don’t tell Murphy."

You laughed. Showing more of yourself than you did in the past couple of months.

"See you do feel”.

"This is different" all you felt right now in this moment was embarrassment. You broke down in front of your freaking crush. This is not how you wanted Javier to see you. He didn’t seem to mind. That’s how much he cared. Here you are, thinking that he couldn’t care less about what would happen to his partners and here he is, telling you otherwise.

"Is it?" You looked into his eyes. His beautiful brown eyes were staring into your soul. "Apparently I just made you smile”. Again, he had a point. You did feel. You just denied yourself the feelings that had been botteling up inside of you. You’ve clearly been in love with this man the moment you met him. How could you not have seen this as a proper feeling. Maybe because this wasn’t what you saw as the feelings you were missing. You were missing sadness, you couldn’t grieve, but maybe this was because of the trauma. Of the things that you have seen. All you needed was time. Now you found someone who could help you through that time.

 “Maybe it is me you need to feel again." Javier said. He bit his lip letting his gaze fall upon your lips. His head moved forward, gently pressing his lips against yours. You got lost in the moment as Javier pulled back. “We should go back to the office, Murphy must be waiting”.

You could not believe that he just kissed you. It didn’t surprise you that much but you never thought he would kiss you. He clearly cared about you. how could you have missed that. Probably because you were too occupied with the depression and trauma you were dealing with. Did Javier just wake you up? Did you allow your emotions to come to the surface again? Probably not in its entirety but him being there. It sure did something.

You nodded your head and smiled at him. He wrapped an arm around your waist as you walked back to the office. You were still a bit shaky on your legs. He didn’t want you to collapse again so he made sure you could walk properly. Your colleagues were staring. Wondering what happened inside of that room. Wondering why Javier was holding you. You didn’t care. They could stare all they want. Javier cared about you, and that’s all that mattered.

A little while later Steve returned to the office as well. Who knows where he had been.

The office was still filled with silence. He wasn’t quite sure if you two actually resolved anything, but the tension was gone, that was a good sign.

“So?”

You both looked up from your desk.

“We’re fine.”

“Yeah, we’re good.” You smirked. “I just figured out that Pena has a heart.”

Pena just frowned. Steve couldn’t help but laugh. Then it hit him. How did you resolve your issues?

“You didn’t sleep together did you? At least, not in this office, right? Not while I was gone.”

This was the perfect opportunity to joke around with the good old man. Javier knew immediately what you meant when you looked at him. You just stared at each other in silence both giving each other awkward look on purpose.

“Oh, for god’s sake! Why?”

You burst out laughing. Your smile captured Javier’s eyes. It was enchanting.   He knew that you were special since the day you walked into the office. He hasn’t been capable of thinking of anything else. No matter how many women he shared the bed with. All he wanted was you. He knows now that you want the same and that was all that mattered.  

[tams-writeblr]

Once I'm gone

Rating: M(ature) Warnings: major character death Category: F/M (main couple), Multi (side characters) Fandom: Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin Relationship: Mikasa Ackermann / Eren Jaeger | various side couples Characters: Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackermann, Armin Arlelt, Zeke Jaeger, Hange Zoe, Floch Forster, Ymir, Reiner Braun, Pieck Finger, Historia Reiss, several others will make a cameo Additional Tags: Modern AU | established relationship | toxic behaviour | Eren suffers from Huntington’s disease and tries to settle his matters before he dies | suicial blockhead Eren | aged up characters (by ten years) | suicide tw | depression tw | mental diseases tw | deathly diseases tw | this is clearly not write what you know, but I’m giving my very best to representate the topics as good as I can | this all basically came to me as a fever dream | you remember Thirteen from House, M.D.? I still have a huge crush on her so this version of Eren is greatly inspired by her <3 Language: English (not native, I’m trying my best you guys) Stats: ongoing - Chapter 1/15 - Part ¾ - 956 of 3652 words Summary: Eren Jaeger knew for years that he inherited Huntington’s disease from his late mother. When he first notices symptoms on him, his long protected plan, to end his life before reaching the critical state of his illness,  awakes. But there is still Mikasa, his girlfriend and the only person in the world he cares about more than about himself, and he can’t leave her alone and grieving. It’s time to find a substitute for when Eren is gone. With the help of a new friend Eren tries to scare away Mikasa while driving her into the arms of someone new.

__________________________________________________

Charlatans and Pills - Part 4/4

<<previous

“Hey Babe, I’m back home!”

Eren quickly put his spoon by his side and pulled down the temperature of the stove. “I’m in the kitchen!”

“Hm, that smells really good”, Mikasa’s voice toned only seconds later. She put her hands on his shoulder blades and started drawing circles with her fingers. “How was your appointment with Dr. Hans, Babe?”

Eren turned around under Mikasa’s touch, holding her wrists in his hands.

From a long day on patrol her face was tired but satisfied, her chin long hair seemed to be freshly washed and shimmered from the striplight above the stove. A small scar beneath her right eye, a leaving from an operation nearly going wrong, was the only thing that wasn’t perfect on her face, but Eren was so used to it, that it just belonged to Mikasa’s face.

“Good”, he answered brusquely and quickly pecked her lips. Then he turned back around to the frying vegetables in his pan. “They only gave me a new prescription. But you know, that I don’t have to take them. I am fine. You are my antidepressivum.”

Mikasa snuggled against his back. “You are so cute. What goods are we having tonight?”

“I made fish for you. I’ll have black bread with the ratatouille.”

“Sounds tempting”, she murmured sleepily towards his back.

“Have had a hard day, Sweetie?”

Mikasa nodded between his shoulder blades. “A missing kid. They’ve sent out divers and everyone. Luckily the little varmint only wanted to go to his favourite playground and got lost. An elderly woman found him and took him home with her, feeding him cookies and milk before calling the police. Jean is still doing the paperwork, thank goodness it’s his turn this week.”

Eren smiled. He liked listening to Mikasa talk about work. She was experiencing so much, of course police officers had to be hard dogs. “I’m glad nothing bad happened to the kid.” He gently took Mikasa’s shoulders between his hands and guarded her towards the kitchen unit, having her sit down on a stool. Now free to move how he liked to, Eren continued his work around the kitchen while Mikasa’s almost black button eyes followed his every move. Finally he served the food on big, square plates. “Bon Appetit”, he laughed, got the bag with the black bread and sat next to his girlfriend.

They ate in silence. Eren hadn’t told Mikasa about the happening a few days earlier and he didn’t plan on changing that. She was worrying enough about him, he didn’t have to cause unnecessary drama. Still he had to tell her that he was going to see Zeke from now on. But telling her the true cause? No, he really didn’t want more long conversations.

Four years ago, when his mother died, Eren already told her that he had set his mind on ending his life and Mikasa, well, she didn’t really take it well. Under tears she had told promised him to stay by his side until the bitter end and he should never ever say anything as stupid as that again. He never again talked about these plans.

“I’ve been contemplating”, he murmured lowly when eating half of his dinner. “I'm going to go see Zeke’s group eventually. Maybe it’s really helping to talk to other doomed and suicidal people. Morituri te salutant.”

Mikasa couldn’t laugh about his grim sense of humor and gave him a punch with her elbow. "Drop it, Eren. Don’t talk as sloppily about this. But it’s good in my opinion that you finally changed your mind about going. Your brother wants you to join his group ever since the incident with your mother.”

“Yeah, yeah”, Eren sighed and rolled his eyes. “Good ol’ Zeke, always thinking about my wellbeing.”

“He even became a psychologist because of you”, Mikasa outranged. “I think you could be a little more grateful.”

“I never asked him to. And by the way, that’s just a rumor going around heavily on our family reunions. I mean, his part of the family isn’t particularly fond of me.”

Zeke was the son of their mutual father from his first marriage, ten years older than Eren and opposite to him, sickeningly healthy and a “genius”. As a child Eren had looked up to Zeke and had adored him but since hitting puberty he felt the footprints of his brother way too big for him to fill.

“If he’s talking too much smart rubbish, I’ll never go there again.”

>>next

__________________________________________________ Author’s note: Yay for some EreMika interaction! I know, it's not much but we're not in a hurry, are we guys? There's really not that much to say after this part, only that I am really grateful for the likes I got on the previous parts. Thanks for reading guys! I also applied for an ao3 invitation today and it said, I'd get answer by May 3rd. I'm kinda excited! See you soon for chapter 2 with some Armin content!

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-19

Figured an upd8 was coming, it’s felt like enough time has passed for one.

Huh, looking at my last post I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to play through Pesterquest sometime... work is busy and stressing me out a bit, I’m not sure when I’ll have the energy on the side to do that.  (Maybe I’ll livetweet it like I did Undertale a while ago, but this time not looking at my twitter replies so I don’t get spoiled by One Guy™?)

Also, including bonus commentary on A Threat Sensed.

Okay, going in completely blind.  I’d guessed from context that we’re hopping over to Meat side to get a chapter there before we can come back to actually see Yiffy?

Yep.  Okay, what is this about exactly?

(Agh, dammit, I’ve been copying and pasting so much at work remoting into Windows lately that now I’m automatically trying to hit control-C instead of command-C to copy.)

> CHAPTER 9. How Goes The Eulogizing, Dear?

CONTENT NOTE: This chapter contains Child Abuse.

Which one???

Wait

JANE: (Where is he?) JANE: (It's a question I've found myself asking many times in recent days.)

Holy SHIT we get two Candy chapters in a row???  So we might see her right away??  No, it’s gotta just be another tiny glimpse.

(Has two Candy chapters in a row happened before?  Future Boots, scroll back up and put this here. FUTURE BOOTS: “I forgot to scroll back up and put that here.” EDIT: Also, not the first time with two in a row, but it IS the first time with THREE in a row, huh.)

So Jane has to be talking about either Tavros or Dave.  --Oh, if this was a Candy Side chapter title, I guess Rose or Jade is eulogizing Dave for John?

> (==>)

JANE: (Where now is our merry savior?) JANE: (Where is the horn that was honking?) JANE: (Where is the cape and the codpiece, and the...) JANE: (The...) JANE: (Oh, fiddlesticks.)

What?  Is she reading a childrens’ book?  --Oh.  She’s eulogizing Gamzee.  So that gives us a third option, where the rebellion crashes the funeral somehow, probably audiovisually rather than in person.  (Which would make sense, given Candy practically began with Gamzee crashing Dirk’s funeral.)

> (==>)

Ah never mind, she’s still writing it.

That sure is a single button drama-remote that’s going to be pressed at some point.  Oh, and who the fuck keeps a spork in a pen cup???  --No no, don’t say it’s one of those pens with a spork at the eraser end, either ready-made or rubber-banded to the side.  That would make sense.  You totally know it isn’t that and is just a spork.

JANE: (Okay, poetry is out.) JANE: (What else?) JANE: (Hrm...) JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.)

Why were you crying in Jake’s arms about his death if you didn’t care that much?  Did you just want him to hold you and kinda make him feel in on things again?  Or did you just cry yourself out about him?

JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I bet the rest of Earth C figured out a more inclusive term millenia ago FUCK I accidentally added millennia to my dictionary misspelled instead of correcting it hold on--

...There, killed the entry for it.  ...Huh.  Take a look at my Chrome dictionary’s custom-added words over the years, apparently:

Caliborn Eridan Kanaya Matriorb Meenah Tavros alchemiter dichotomic nephilim reblogged uncaptchalogues uncaptchaloguing

That’s fun.

Okay back to reading. Millennia.  Phew!  Where was I.

JANE: (One really good and calculated weep could do it, I think.) JANE: (But then there's the danger that I might get carried away and do it for real.) JANE: (And I can't risk that.)

So still feeling something, just too used to calculating over the past years.

JANE: (What can I say about him that will stir up their emotions?) JANE: (Do I mention the stuff about the milk?) JANE: (Think Crocker, think.)

WHY would you-- how much did Gamzee normalize adult breastfeeding?!

JAKE: Ahoy over there!

Not the best time.

(The thing with the divorce papers from the Epilogue and John implying he was planning with Jake to execute something that sounds like a divorce... is that going to be sprung here?  Did her lawyers send the divorce papers way back when she was in a fit of pique, and he just had them available to sign now at the tactical moment? Or... let me pull the exact text...)

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being. JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today.

(So is John going to submit the papers? Or did they already go through a while ago and default custody to John or something who’s going to adopt him too or some nonsense?  And did he plan this out with Jake NOW, or a while ago, and if only a while ago, is Jake going to KNOW whatever John’s about to pull in that respect is about to happen??)

> (==>)

Butte

Janepalme

> (==>)

JAKE: Er... how goes the eulogizing, dear?

Gah.  I completely forgot again that capitalized-first-letter chapter names don’t mean KANAYA is saying them.  That probably makes a lot more sense out of my wondering about the chapter title earlier to those of you who didn’t realize I was making that mistake.

JANE: It turns out that it's mighty difficult to find touching things to say about a person, the relationship with whom was predicated on deep-seated mutual loathing.

Hah!

--A loathing you regarded as largely more important to you than Jake ever was, by the way.  You asshole.

JANE: I imagine this is one of the reasons no funerary tradition was ever established on Alternia, besides the barbarism of their culture. DIRK: Jesus christ. JANE: Not only did a significant proportion of their interpersonality depend on romance in the form of hatred, but it was a society based on cruelty and violence. JANE: What reason could they have had to provide for the dead? JANE: What kind of last rites could they have even imagined?

I wondered for a moment why (bg!)Dirk of all people would react to a single line of her starting to bring up prejudices, but then I realized that (1) Brain Ghost Dirk is a little more Jakey, and (2) Dirk knew that more ranting would follow the first line.

JANE: I can't think of anything good to write about him because deep down, I hated his guts. JANE: But he was and is beloved of the multitude, so I have to think of something regardless. JAKE: Im not sure i understand. JANE: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. JANE: This is politics, Jakey. JANE: Lying through your two front teeth about people you hate is about as good a definition as it's possible to get. JANE: But, by gum, is it tiring work.

Mm.  It’s a position Jane put herself in, but it’s still a legitimate position once you’re there.

JANE: The funeral is tomorrow, after all.

Got it.

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

Wait, bowl?

Oh god damnit which of you had the idea to feed her with a DOG BOWL.  Either of you could have thought of it, and either of you would be horrible for it.

> (==>)

Huh, that outfit on Yiffy looks familiar, like a reference to something.  And a black tail?  This definitely isn’t quite the look I was expecting from Jade Plus Rose, but I suppose the snazzy tie is a Roseish vibe.  Also reminiscent of Jade’s old Dead Shuffle dress.  Formal wear and soccer cleats??

JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN.  I don’t see anything over her mouth!  Did she stick something in it, or drug her?  File her fucking teeth???

I mean I did forget the Child Abuse trigger warning to be fair.  Hoping whatever would be on her mouth is just not shown in-panel yet for stylistic reasons.

> (==>)

JAKE: Its only mac and cheese, sorry. JAKE: Its all I know how to make, haha. JAKE: ... JAKE: I um... hope you can safely partake of cheese? JAKE: ... JAKE: Well, JAKE: Bon appetit.

How the fuck did Jake eat on his island then?  --Oh right, preserved food cans that Grandma Jade stored up, I think I remember.  Why would cheese not be a thing for them, if it’s fine for Jade?  I know he’s probably not just worried about lactose intolerance.

Either way, if she’s drugged here, that’ll mean we won’t get a good idea of her for a while, so which is it...

> (==>)

DIRK: Bon appetit. DIRK: Seriously dude? JAKE: (What? Did i pronounce it wrong?) DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???) JAKE: (I feel awful enough as it is without you getting on my case about it.)

Ah, missed the bone pun.  AND, yeah, Jake, you’re a fucking idiot, you could have put it in a cup or something.

JAKE: (So far ive yet to see anything come of that brilliant plan of yours.) JAKE: (Are you sure sending that message to the others was enough?)

Okay, so he IS coordinating this slightly.

> (==>)

Horrifying image to contemplate, eh Jane?

Or anger-inducing?

> (==>)

Seems about right!

> (==>)

Oh that’s a GREAT exasperated Jane face.

JANE: I hope you're not expecting dessert, young lady.

I like how Jane didn’t notice, comment on, or care about the bowl.  How can you hate a kid so much??

> (==>)

Oh I know why I felt like I recognized the outfit style, it’s because it’s ANIME AS FUCK.  Feels like some Persona 4 Arena nonsense, and I say that not having played any of those games or even remembering what they looked like.  Also, white hair, black fur’d dog parts?  Nice change of pace.

YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR... JANE: Oh no you don't.

Red text?  What color exactly... “#D00009”?  Huh.  That’s nowhere near Alt-Callie’s #FF0000, and darker than Dave’s #E00707.  In fact, let me go back and check those spilled color pins the commentary pointed out from an update or two ago...  no, the red pin is #E63225, closer to Dave’s color.  (Also, is Yiffy blocking the doorway out?  That’s a pretty slack chain then.)

Did Jane see to it that she wouldn’t bite with like, a water spray bottle?

(EDIT: Oh my FUCKING GOD, THAT's why it's #D00009...)

> (==>)

FUCK I didn’t notice the shock collar in the Yiffy image!  FUCK YOU, Jane.

> (==>)

Keeping someone in line with collars, especially ones that punish whenever one strays out of line, has always been a decent way for her to mix in some Doomy control of others to show how she’s “grown” to balance her main role and her Tiara-controlled-like inverse for more power.  Doom in part represents boundaries that you can’t cross without getting hurt or punished.

> (==>)

FUCK, those little buck teeth!?  D’:

JANE: That's more like it.

She HAS to have more of a reason for hating her than hating her parents, right?  Like, more than that and general racism applying to partdogfolk?

> (==>)

Hey fuck off with that!

> (==>)

This is a pretty cool ima-- are those piercings on her dog ear?  I didn’t notice that in the first shot, neat.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over. JANE: Do I make myself understood?

What the fuck?  WHY would you do that?  Why does Jane run "Ms. Paint’s Home for Inconvenient Girls”?  What did Yiffy do to piss her off so much there, how much trouble could she have caused?

I don’t know if she’s referring to the behind-Kanaya’s-back part as disgusting or she’s just being MORE racist.

> (==>)

JANE: We don't want you passing out during the ceremony, do we?

Oh, just showing the hostage off during the clown funeral, huh?  Classy much?

> (==>)

JANE: Now, be a good hostage and get some rest, Yiffany dear. JANE: We've got a big day tomorrow.

For a politician, Jane’s not good at looking at herself in a mirror.

> (==>)

JANE: Night night. JANE: Hoo hoo.

> (Yiffy: Lights out.)

Huh, dream stuff is gonna be relevant out in Candy then? *click*

Okay, dark background all of a sudden.  Properly dramatic?  You even have to highlight the non-link “>” part of the Next link to see it.

> (==>)

-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG] --

Well, I don’t know WHY it’s happening, but the white-backed pesterlog suddenly on the dark site framing is certainly evocative.  Of like, a mood, or something.

TG: i thought he was pretty quiet down there. TG: we'll make a rebel of him yet! AG: Lol. AG: I think it's more that he can't sleep. AG: I know how he feels. TG: yeah. TG: today was a lot. AG: ... TG: do you wanna talk about it? AG: Ugh, not you as well.

It’s really jarring to transition between Homestuck’s “kids jarringly mentally resistant to freaking out about the end of the world” to HS^2′s more realistic “kids traumatized by their first firefight even though it was an overwhelming victory-escape”.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Are they about to have an “I wonder what Yiffy’s like” talk?

> (==>)

Very similar Tav/Vrissy convo to the previous one.

GG: I havent ever shared a bedroom before,,, GG: Not even for a slumber party,,, AG: Tavvy, you are just a8out the saddest person I've ever met.

Well, we have an even better idea how horrible Jane can be with kids, now.  From Nanna to THIS is quite jarring.  I wonder how the double Nannasprites that must still be around here somewhere feel?

> (==>)

TG: nothing about my dad is cute. TG: what are you even saying. AG: Lmao. TG: seriously! TG: i think he has something against that word, even. he gets super weird about it. AG: He's a strange and funny m8n. TG: yeah. TG: ... TG: i think something bad must have happened.

...um.  What?  Why would John have some sort of trauma about the word cute or being called it?

Did John dress up as a hint of his buried June ambitions as a kid and Dad lavish him with “SO CUTE” praise in an epic supportiveness backfire that caused him to shelve the idea of wearing non-masc clothes and being happier on the flipside of gender ever again???  Because if that’s how June gets canonized as promised, it’s a little harsher than the back of my mind was hoping.  I guess it kind of had to be though from the premise of how it was read into his childhood for the original idea, though.  Fuck, I hope this Cute business is about something different from that (like a Terezi reference or such) just to get less John Sads.  (But still June.  Definitely still want to get June.)

> (==>)

Oh, and now Vrissy is doing nothing but talking about what she said she didn’t want to talk about, of course.  (Also I like how JANE’s now being called the Batterwitch.)

AG: And the worst part was they didn't even fight a8out it! AG: That made me madder than 8nything else. AG: It felt like I was the only person who even W8S mad! GG: I dont think thats true,,, AG: What would you know a8out it?! GG: Maybe nothing,,, GG: Sorry,,, GG: Its just,,, GG: To me,,, all the way through the conversation,,, aunt kanaya looked even angrier than you,,, AG: ... AG: Adults are so fucking weird.

Guh, I don’t want to be reminded how hurt a good chunk of the fanbase is by Kanaya getting hurt this badly.

Original Tavros was always SLIGHTLY perceptive of others sometimes, but maybe perceptiveness is being hinted at as a Tavros specialty?  We still don’t know his classpect/hero-title or have any firm guesses based on purely him evidence.  (Also, frightened kids of abusive households tend to learn to get perceptive pretty fucking quickly I hear.)

> (==>)

TG: dad was sitting in the cafeteria with aunt jade and your moms. TG: it looked like they were discussing something important... they were whispering and stuff.

[etc etc] Alright, the what-happened-to-Dave bit.  And I imagine they’re kind of helping John grieve there, since Rose and Jade have talked that out already.

TG: aunt kanaya's was the only face i could see. TG: she was standing next to them, but she wasn't looking at what was going on. TG: almost like she couldn't bear to. AG: I doubt it. Kanaya's got a8out as much Emotivity as a very reclusive stone. TG: ok, i think that is bullshit but whatever. TG: she saw me standing there, but didn't say anything. she just shook her head slightly, and pointed back out into the hallway i came down.

Yep, giving them some space to grieve.  Also-- gosh, shouldn’t Vrissy have the same emotive senses that Aranea implied Vriska shared with her?  Kanaya isn’t that EXPRESSIVE but she’s certainly full of emotion.  Also, I hope part of her not bearing to watch wasn’t lingering anger toward Jade and Rose mixing with that, but there probably was a bit of that too, though Dave being gone is so much harsher than that. --I just realized they might not have broken the news to Karkat yet, either.

AG: I guesadxcxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz TG: vrissy?

Put to sleep by someone slumping down on your phone keypad, or surprised by something about the other conversation?

Oh shit, “other conversation” reminded me I didn’t look at Tavros’s chumhandle:

glutinousGymnast [GG]

HHHHHhhhhuh.  Hm... huh? hhhh.  huh?  what, but.  Why would.  ?????

I really don’t understand what that chumhandle or any of its entendres should signify in this context.

Also, this means for our new four kids we have TG, GG, AG, and ??.

> (==>)

GG: I think she might have succumbed to sleep quite suddenly,,, GG: It would explain the,,,,,, interesting messages I've been getting for a while,,, TG: hehe. TG: i guess that tracks. TG: she does that from time to time.

That’s... strange.  Homestuck’s taught us to be suspicious of that.

TG: ... TG: tav? GG: Yes,,, harry anderson,,,? TG: what does it feel like to know someone who's died?

Who is Harry referring to? (EDIT: Yes I know Gamzee for Tavros, but I meant Harry talks like he's worried he'll have to feel that way soon?)  Is he just kind of inferring that something bad might have happened to Uncle Dave?  Got that perceptive “parents are about to tell me about a death in the family” vibe?  Or did he overhear more than he let on to Vrissy?

...alright, that’s the last page of this update.  Looks like this chapter is going to continue to have a good bunch of grieving, or talk around it.

---

Now for Bonus Commentary for A Threat, Sensed.  For some reason I have a dim memory of like... reading this myself without commenting on it?  Or skimming it?  But I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that.  Weird.  Must have imagined doing it.

Ah, I think I saw the opening paragraph scrolling Patreon, and my mind kinda filled in the blanks, this is still looking new to me.

Okay, mostly banter and japes in the commentary here.  About Dirk “throwing a huge tantrum in his philosophy cave”.

We’ve had quite a bit of speculation on whether this is “really” Andrew. To that, I think we’d say that it doesn’t “really” matter.

Really?  That was speculated about?  :/

Here we discover that Dirk has not, as some people have speculated, been directly intervening into the Candy timeline, or influencing it in any way. In fact, he has a very hard time seeing anything going on there at all.

Mhmm, and that was a pretty important thing to learn.

A couple of years ago I might have agreed with the take that everything happening in Candy is simply too outlandish to ever happen naturally, without direct, villainous interference, but that was before literally every fucking batshit insane thing that has happened on Real Life Earth started going down, and now I will believe literally anything. 

This is a nice bit of distraction from the idea that at least the opening parts of the Candy story were written/narrated by Original, Alive Calliope over on meat side.  To refresh your memory of what was pointed out to me:

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls TEREZI: WH4T? ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise ROXY: some of it is like ROXY: weird and violent?? ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

Which tracks with the initial out-of-character-seemingness of almost everyone at the start of Candy, and how they kind of tried to railroad things back onto the “Happy??” track after Dirk derailed it with his weird self-accumulation suicide, along with some of the flowery-idyllic descriptions of characters seeing each other bathed in a halo of light and such.

Of course, they’re not going to out-and-out STATE that Calliope was at fault for that narration, helping the Candy story not necessarily fall out the way it did “naturally”, until we finally get a glimpse of her on the heroes’ ship in Meat probably still painting the continuing Candy events, inspiring them into the void of the singularity with her latent powers.  Til then, it’s a bit of misdirection whenever the topic is to be brought up.  Along with a mix of Roxy’s late-Candy point to John of more or less “why COULDN’T we have done this naturally? you don’t know”.

He might even think that he has more direct power over the narrative than Hussie does himself. Surprise, motherfucker, you are a fictional character. 

:p

I’ll quote this next part in full:

There’s been talk of whether or not this bonus was written in the two days between its release and the Yiffy reveal chapter. The answer is--no. It was written over a month ago. But I think the things it addresses were not difficult to suss out. Obviously, Dirk is highlighting the issues that the readership are having with Yiffy, in his typical Dirk fashion. If it seems a little defensive, well...I suppose it is. Yiffy is one of the two hard lines drawn in the sand, and all of us love her, and we’re hoping that everyone else will love her too. But more than that, it focuses on the fact that update culture has a rhythm to it--shock, revulsion, acceptance (or not), and then excitement (or not). Will it follow that pattern this time? Who knows. I guess we’ll find out. 

Yeah, given what was going to be dropped on us I expected they would have had exactly this lined up, especially because Andrew specifically mandated Yiffy.  --I wonder why they aren’t mentioning that somewhere in the commentary and only on one of their Twitters?

Also quoting this:

There’s something both incredibly “cringe” and self-indulgent, as well as philosophically intriguing, about the author arguing with his villain, especially since he’s writing both halves of the conversation himself. You are, for all intents and purposes, trying to solve a problem that you have created for yourself. You are looking an aspect of your personality in the eye and asking, hey, what the fuck, man?

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

Since it’s part of the central struggle of this story, and kind of the question Andrew’s tried to imply with every Homestuck work about what right we have to keep these characters trapped in a story, and if they’d be better off escaping it.

I’m really trying to avoid quoting so much of this, since the commentary is paid...  but I think we can make an exception here?  I’ll have only quoted about half of it; just, the really plot-important half.  Plus, I left out a LOOOT of japes.

Dirk has a certain idea of how stories are supposed to go. That’s pretty much what the Epilogues is about. The audience also has a certain expectation of how a story is supposed to go. In a way, the Epilogues were also about that. They were taking a story that had reached the traditionally “acceptable” happily ever after, and saying, wait, no. What happens next? Thinking past happily ever after in any story is a terrifying prospect. Once Cinderella marries the prince, what then? Sure, she got what she wanted, but who knows that it will be everything she dreamt it would? What if she changes her mind, if not today, what about ten years from now? What if the prince dies of malaria? 

And I’m...

Yeah I don’t have anything else to add here, I’m kind of out of brain juice to think about this tonight.  BUSY day I had.  Y’all take care!

[yourholidaymom]

Your Holiday Mom: Robbi

Hello Friend –

Welcome to our crazy and comfy home. Don’t mind Iggy, she just barks really loud whenever anyone comes in but is a total wimp. See? She’s already given up and is back to sitting in the most comfortable chair in the house. And please don’t step on the cat, he is old and blind and might accidentally poop on you. Ha ha, just kidding, he totally only poops on the stairs on his way to the litter box that he doesn’t use. Also, don’t mind the kids – Alden will want to show you her rope climbing skills, Kato will become suddenly shy (though he can be easily coaxed out of his shell with inquiries about planes or rockets) and August will toddle up and hug you and probably demand your iPad or phone (don’t do it). In our small town, the kids all call grown-ups “Aunt” and “Uncle” – so just by being introduced you’ve already become a part of our family. We’re so happy to have you.

Perhaps this holiday season is hard for you, perhaps it is lonely. Perhaps you have struggled with acceptance from your own friends and family, and perhaps you have even struggled with yourself for identifying as LGBTQ. And for that I am truly, truly sorry. I hope that you can find some respite in our home and at our table, though I can’t guarantee there won’t be a lot of chaos involved too.

One of the unspoken treasures of true acceptance is when you aren’t treated differently from anyone else, and so I will demand that you not stand on the table (August is the most frequent offender), that you finish your dinner before starting your dessert (actually, no one ever follows that rule, including me), and that if you happen to accidentally kick or punch someone while wrestling, you have to give hugs and kisses and say you’re sorry. Them’s the rules. If only that last one could be applied to everyone— both literally and metaphorically. If anyone is ever hurt, we need to extend our hands and try to help them heal. And so I hope you’ll metaphorically take my extended hand, friend.

Please have a seat and warm up with a cup of tea while I scurry around the kitchen doing the final touches on our meal. Ha ha, who am I kidding? I’ll be sitting hanging out with you while Matthew does all the kitchen stuff. We all know I’m a horrible cook. You and I can chat about this and that, about the latest things that you’re up to, about the book you just read that I got started but never finished (I’m never going to finish it, so please just tell me how it ends). I’ll ask how you’re doing, but you probably won’t tell me directly because Alden and Kato are fighting over the trampoline and everything’s a bit distracting. Matthew will interrupt and ask me to dress the salad (he always puts way too much dressing on) and I will get up and give your shoulder a squeeze on my way to the kitchen. Matthew will offer you some more tea and we’ll swap – he’ll probably ask all the same questions and you’ll have to repeat yourself a lot and I’ll apologize loudly from the kitchen. You are kind not to seem to mind.

And now Kato has asked you to please please please play freeze tag, and you are so good to oblige. I’m so sorry that he’s no longer wearing his pants.

I see that you are concerned when the three kids collide, but no harm done – the frenzy of the chase is enough to get them back up and running, though August points emphatically at his head and demands a kiss from you before he rejoins the fray. Thanks for doing that.

I have to interrupt the freeze tag so we can all eat dinner. We settle down at the table and say a quick “itadakimasu” – the Japanese version of grace, or more like “bon appetit,” I grew up saying it (did you know my mom was japanese, and awesome, by the way? She would have LOVED you – she was an extraordinarily quick and accurate judge of character). Itadakimasu literally means “I humbly receive” and that’s how I feel about having you here with us on this special day, thrown into the soup with us, as it were, and gracefully weathering the storm of my family.

The kids are occupied with their food, so we can talk some more. We’re excited to hear about your latest plans,  and I think you should just do it. Do it! Matthew’s a little more cautious, but not un-optimistic. He offers some sage advice while I wink and nod and smile at you from behind his back to convince you I’m right, and you pretend like I’m not acting like a weirdo. Matthew totally knows I’m doing it, so he looks you right in the eyes and says, “You gotta do what feels right to you.”  He’s all right, that one.

We barely have time to finish our meal before the kids are demanding another game of freeze tag. I insist you don’t have to, but you insist you do. They are so ecstatic that they forget to ask for dessert (seeing how crazy they are now, you definitely don’t want to see them after brownies and ice cream). You just scored 100 points with me and Matthew. Well done, friend, well done.

Once you’ve run them around the room a few dozen times, they start to flag and ask for a story before bed. (200 points!) You settle down on the couch (since Iggy’s still occupying the recliner) and the kids pile on your lap, each one with a book. By the time you get to the third book, August has fallen asleep and Kato’s eyes are drooping. (300 points!) You ask if you should keep reading and Alden says, “I’m a night owl. I’m not ever going to sleep.” After book #3, Kato is out. (1000 points!)

Time for dessert. Alden gets a tiny portion but doesn’t finish, because she suddenly decides she wants to do some drawing at her desk by the window. I eat the rest of her brownie. You and Matthew and I finally get to sit down and talk like adults – to the gentle soundtrack of snores from August and jingles from Iggy’s collar as she rearranges herself in the recliner. We laugh, we tell stories, and I don’t really remember what all we talk about, but I feel such a fondness for you that I feel in my heart that we are simpatico. It’s a warm fuzzy feeling because frankly I don’t feel simpatico with just anyone. There’s something special about you.

It’s getting late and you see that Matthew has suddenly gotten tired. He does that, all of a sudden. I could rattle on for a long time (Alden isn’t the only night owl in the house) but it’s clear he needs to go to bed. We pack up a little tupperware for you (don’t worry, we’ll get it back from you next time) while you put on your coat. We walk you down the stairs and are saying good-bye when Alden comes trundling down with a paper in her hand. “Don’t forget your card!” she says, “I made it for you.” You kneel down to take it from her, and she points out all of the pieces of the picture. “Here I am. I’m wearing a crown. This is Kato and this is August. August is so small because he’s just a toddler. Here’s Papa – he’s wearing fuzzy pants because it’s so cold outside. And here’s Mama. She has a crown on too, because she’s the queen. And here you are. I drew you in pink because pink is my favorite color. We’re playing freeze tag next to the Christmas tree.” You nod patiently and say some nice admiring things about her drawing skills. Then she takes it back from you and says, “And see? When you fold it up like a card, on the back it says, ‘I love you. Love, Alden.’ That’s because I love you.” She hands it back to you and says “Hug and a kiss!” and you kindly oblige, and she scampers back up the stairs.

Our evening is over and Matthew gives you a big hug. “Good to see you, friend.” Then it’s my turn, and I give you a big hug and an extra squeeze. I start to apologize for the chaos and you stop me. “I had a nice time,” you say. And I look in your eyes and say, “Me, too.” You put Alden’s card in your pocket and you’re out the door. We watch you as you head down the block, and I call out, “Until next time!” and you turn and smile and wave.

Happy holidays, Friend. We’re so glad to have you.

Much love,

Robbi

** This year we are reprising your favorite letters. The original post date of this letter was Dec 16, 2011.

Your Holiday Mom: Robbi was originally published on Your Holiday Mom

[mca-attack21]

Target part 3

This is part 3/6 of this Lance Sweets x reader series. For the rest of the series plus more of my writing click here for my masterlist.

Back at the Bureau (7:00 pm):

Booth had emailed Sweets everything that he had found. Sweets agreed with motive, however, he was struggling with predicting the unsub’s next move. He looked over to you. You had been listening to music all day. He had tried to get you to eat breakfast and lunch, but you politely refused. He had decided that you would be staying with him until this was over. That way he could see first hand that you were safe. 

He glanced back at his computer, he was getting frustrated with the constant dead ends. He knew it was his fault, he should have tried harder to be objective, but he couldn’t when it came to you. He thought to how his stomach dropped when he heard your call with Booth yesterday. When the line went dead he thought that he had lost you forever. He didn’t want to imagine his life without you. 

Just then he decided that enough was enough. He slammed his laptop shut. This caused you to jump slightly and look in his direction pulling out your headphones. “What do you say we go back to my place, and I make us dinner?” he asked. 

You were going to say no, to be completely honest if it was anyone other than Sweets you probably would have. But you were tired of just sitting here in his office. “That sounds nice actually” you said. Sweets called Booth and told him the plan. Booth thought that it was a good idea for you to get away from everything. Then Sweets collected his things. He went over and helped you up. You walked out the back way to the parking lot. He helped you into the car and then got in and turned on the radio. He drove you to his apartment, it was the first time you had been there. 

He led you to the living room and told you to make yourself at home. Before long, you heard him in the kitchen. You let your curiosity get the best of you and went over to watch him. He was so talented he looked like a professional. You just watched him, amazed with how effortless he made it look. In the moment, you were content to just be here with him. He glanced over his shoulder and noticed his newfound audience. He grinned, “It should be done in a couple of minutes, what would you like to drink with it? I have a decent selection of wine, I could also brew tea, or make coffee, there is water, and ginger ale” he listed as he began to plate the food. You considered his offer and decided to play it safe with water. He placed the food on the counter and grabbed each of you waters. “Bon appetite” he said. You took a bite, before turning to him “this is phenomenal” you spoke. 

His face lit up “I’m glad you like it.” he replied grinning.

After dinner, the two of you found yourself sitting on the couch. “Can I ask you a question?” you ask. 

“Sure, of course” he answered. 

“What would you do if you were me?” you ask. 

“What do you mean?” he replies. You think for a minute before saying, “You are a psychologist, you study human behavior. How people react to different situations. So realistically, what should someone who has been through what I have in the last 48 hours be feeling? And where should I go from here? If you were me right now, what would be your next move?” you clarify. 

“Well Y/n, that is hard, people react to things differently. If I were you, I would be focused on survival. I would be on hyper alert until the unsub is caught. And then I would grieve my brother. I would slowly try to adjust back into my old life. Personally, I would find a new apartment because this one will never be able to be seen as truly safe again. And then I would find someone to talk to, someone who will make sure I’m okay down the road. But realize that I am not you, the way my brain works is not the same as yours. Events may bother you less or more than they would me” he explained. 

“Can it be you?” you mumbled more to yourself than him. 

“What was that?” he asked genuinely. 

“The person. The one that will be there for me at 3 am when everything starts to get to me. The one who checks in just to make sure that I am okay. Can it be you? Can you be my person?” you asked avoiding eye contact. 

“Of course, I will always be here for you.” he said. You could tell that he was about to say something else but his phone starting ringing. He looked at it before answering it and excusing himself.

“That was Agent Booth, he wanted to check that the two of us made it here okay. Also just wanted to let me know that they have all the evidence they need, all that is left is to catch this guy,” Sweets informed you after he hung up. The two of you sat and talked for a while, but it was getting late. 

You had decided that you would sleep on the couch, even though Sweets protested. He went upstairs and grabbed a couple of blankets and pillows, as well as a pair of his sweats and a t-shirt. He showed you to the bathroom and allowed you to change. He said goodnight, and told you to come get him if you needed literally anything. You laid down on the couch, It was not long before you fell asleep.

Sweets was startled awake by your screams. He grabbed his gun and rushed to the living room. When he saw that you were not in harm, he sat his gun on the table. He went over to you and shook you gently. “Y/n,” he said softly. “Y/n wake up, it’s just a dream,” he said louder. You shot up, and then started crying. Sweets pulled you close. “Shhhh, it’s okay Y/n, everything’s okay I’ve got you, It was just a bad dream. I’m right here, you’re safe.” He soothed softly. After a few minutes you had calmed down. “Come on,” he said. 

You look at him confused, “Where are we going? It is two a.m.” you asked. 

“You can sleep with me tonight, you don’t need to be alone,” he said before leading you towards his room. You shifted in the bed until you were comfortable.

“Thank you,” you said. You were going to continue when you noticed that he was already sleeping. You stared at the ceiling trying unsuccessfully to clear your head, eventually sleep took over once again.

[aceholmes]

the uncharted (9/?)

not-quite a summary: i need to stop giving everyone filler chapters

here it is on ao3!

Ke’lth straps himself into the chair in front of the console, grumbling. “I’m a doctor, not a pilot.”

“You’re the one with the most piloting experience, Doctor,” Troi sighs, helplessly. “It’s not like we had much choice.”

“Well said.” Swift gives a light-hearted smile. “There’s only the three of us.”

“Get ready to disable force fields.” Troi commands, keying in a few commands into the console. “Engines are ready.”

“Force fields disabled.” Swift reports, and the shuttle is pulled out of the shuttlebay, through the depressurisation of the shuttlebay alone. The shuttle shudders as it’s blown right and left by a storm that’s raging. Maybe it would’ve been better to wait, but given the circumstances, nobody wanted to be on that ship any longer. As they clear the ship, Troi looks back, not only with a sense of relief, but also worry, both at the same time.

The Delta steers again, and the left warp nacelle creaks and groans.

“We’re going to have to get as far away from the ship as possible.” Swift reads the data on the console. “The warp nacelle’s overloading.”

“Then I’m glad we’re still not on that wretched ship.” Ke’lth returns.

“Time to warp nacelle overload?” Troi shoots back. “We’re not out of the woods yet, Doctor,” she snaps.

Ke’lth gives a dignified cough. “Of course, Commander.”

“Three minutes.” Swift reads off.

Troi takes a breath. “Are engines online, Doctor?”

“Online and running, sir.” Ke’lth responds. A low hum fills the shuttle, signifying that the shuttle is waiting to burst into warp.

Troi keys in the coordinates of the planet they’ve found earlier. “We could risk breaking the Prime Directive, you know.”

“Commander, we are in uncharted territory. We’re not even sure of our location. Landing on the inhabited planet and asking the inhabitants for help might be the only way we could get help from Starfleet.” Swift suggests.

“Jump to warp, Doctor.” Troi gives the signal. “Engage.”

“He was very discreet, Captain.” Jamin says, a sour expression upon her face.

Yar sighs, and puts her head into her hands. She resurfaces. “Commander, you are accusing a fellow crew member of blackmail that may be even seen as treason, to the Federation.”

Jamin shrinks. “I would not come to you directly unless I was almost completely sure.”

“Unless there is evidence that shows that he has instigated the Romulan incident, and evidence that he was the one who put the Romulan files into your database, I can’t open an investigation. Not at this time. We don’t have crew to spare.” Yar says.

Jamin shakes her head. “I didn’t ask for an investigation, sir.”

“I’m glad you understand.” Yar rises from her chair. She paces a few steps, then leans on the edge of her desk, almost perching. “As Head of Operations, Hurley does have access to certain security codes that most of the other crew does not. It would be hard to detect any suspicious activity from him.”

“I would be inclined to agree.” Jamin puts out, in a cold, emotionless way. “Do you trust me, Captain?”

Yar feels put on the spot. In her heart she wants to believe Jamin, because Jamin’s been a trustworthy friend and an honourable officer, but she forces herself to be fair. “I hope I won’t hurt your feelings by saying this, but although I do take your words to heart, I can’t fully believe you, Jamin.”

Jamin blinks, and nods quietly. “So be it, then.” She gazes past Yar, in full silence.

Time seems like an eternity when silence hangs in the air. It’s only when the comm-system comes alive with the sound of Hurley’s voice, the tension finally breaks.

“Hurley to Captain Yar; Captain La Forge has just beamed aboard.”

“Acknowledged.” Yar replies, stern. “Invite him to meet me in the briefing room. Jamin, get back to your post.”

“Acknowledged, Captain.” She returns, almost hurriedly. Yar’s heart sinks a little at Jamin’s coldness. She knows it isn’t right to favour Jamin, but something in her heart is biting back at her. She shakes the doubt off, and arrives at the briefing room.

Captain La Forge arrives at the brief room shortly after the announcement. Looking up from her PADD, Yar notes that he hasn’t changed much since their last meeting a few years ago. He still has the implants in, and to someone who didn’t spend a lot of time around him, he might have looked intimidating, but Yar knew otherwise.

“Captain La Forge.” Yar greets, formally. “Take a seat.”

“Tasha.” La Forge starts, but then stops himself. “Captain Yar, I mean.” He takes a breath before taking the seat across from Yar on the opposite side of the table. “I’m sorry. I’m just so used to calling you-“

“Tasha, I know.” She waves it off. “It’s a habit.”

“Thanks for understanding.” La Forge nods. “And we’re here to discuss the environment domes.”

The ship stabilises, and everyone heaves a big sigh of relief. Ke’lth leans back in his chair. Troi runs a hand through her curly hair, and then removes the hair tie from her hair. Swift virtually almost collapses, clutching her stomach.

“Now that was a ride.” Swift points out, smiling.

“Absolutely.” Troi gasps, swivelling her chair around. “Anyone hungry?”

“Famished.” Swift shoots back. She rises, and goes to the back of the shuttle. It takes a bit of effort to get the cabinet door open, but it eventually gives way. She takes three ration packs and returns to her seat.

“Bon appetit,” swoons Swift, and throws the other two packs to her fellow crew members.

“Forgive me for asking, Lieutenant,” Ke’lth starts up, “but what was the meaning of the phrase you just used?”

“Bon appetit.” Swift repeats, spreading her hands. “It’s French. An earth language. Means enjoy your meal.”

Ke’lth nods in approval. “Well then, Lieutenant,” he raises his pack. “same to you.”

Troi agrees, and the three tuck into their meals. Ke’lth devours his heartily, and while Swift cautiously nibbles at the bar and tries to ignore the taste, Troi takes one bite of it and sets it down.

“Penny for your thoughts, Commander?” Swift speaks up, her speech muffled.

“Don’t chew with your mouth open, Lieutenant,” Troi pokes back in jest.

Swift makes a defiant grunt. “You’re not my mother.”

“But I am your commanding officer,” Troi insists, resisting the urge to burst out into laughter. It’s the same situation back at home, before the incident. Tasha would always jokingly complain about how Deanna would chide her for staying up late, or ordering that second cup of coffee, or spend hours in the holodecks working at that fitness program.

Deanna. That’s a name she hasn’t heard in days. Not since the name last slipped past Tasha’s lips and reached her the fateful morning the accident happened.

“It’s back to the grind for both of us, Deanna,” Tasha laughed, pressing a kiss to Deanna’s lips. Tasha smelled like the strong, black coffee she drank every morning, and a hint of the facial wash Deanna had got her from Betazed. When they went their separate ways for the morning, Tasha to her office to receive reports, and Deanna to the transporter room to give the briefing for the away team, Deanna couldn’t help but feel that the parting felt almost final, although she was almost certainly sure that she would see Tasha again at the end of the day…

“Commander?” Swift sits forward in her seat, trying to get her attention. “Are you alright?”

“Just homesick.” Troi sighs, but the corners of her mouth curl upwards into a warm smile. “We all are.”

The cabin is silent for just a second, but Troi continues. “We’ve been under a lot of stress, and I know that this time can’t be easy for any of us.”

Ke’lth muses silently, staring out at the stars. “They look similar to the stars back home, but we’re a long way from home.”

“There’s gotta be a way back home.” Swift offers, her tone enthusiastic.

“Thank you for the encouragement, Michelle,” says Troi. Swift gives a tired, weak smile, and closes her eyes as she leans back into her chair.

[yourholidaymom]

Your Holiday Mom: Robbi

Hello Friend –

Welcome to our crazy and comfy home. Don’t mind Iggy, she just barks really loud whenever anyone comes in but is a total wimp. See? She’s already given up and is back to sitting in the most comfortable chair in the house. And please don’t step on the cat, he is old and blind and might accidentally poop on you. Ha ha, just kidding, he totally only poops on the stairs on his way to the litter box that he doesn’t use. Also, don’t mind the kids – Alden will want to show you her rope climbing skills, Kato will become suddenly shy (though he can be easily coaxed out of his shell with inquiries about planes or rockets) and August will toddle up and hug you and probably demand your iPad or phone (don’t do it). In our small town, the kids all call grown-ups “Aunt” and “Uncle” – so just by being introduced you’ve already become a part of our family. We’re so happy to have you.

Perhaps this holiday season is hard for you, perhaps it is lonely. Perhaps you have struggled with acceptance from your own friends and family, and perhaps you have even struggled with yourself for identifying as LGBTQ. And for that I am truly, truly sorry. I hope that you can find some respite in our home and at our table, though I can’t guarantee there won’t be a lot of chaos involved too.

One of the unspoken treasures of true acceptance is when you aren’t treated differently from anyone else, and so I will demand that you not stand on the table (August is the most frequent offender), that you finish your dinner before starting your dessert (actually, no one ever follows that rule, including me), and that if you happen to accidentally kick or punch someone while wrestling, you have to give hugs and kisses and say you’re sorry. Them’s the rules. If only that last one could be applied to everyone— both literally and metaphorically. If anyone is ever hurt, we need to extend our hands and try to help them heal. And so I hope you’ll metaphorically take my extended hand, friend.

Please have a seat and warm up with a cup of tea while I scurry around the kitchen doing the final touches on our meal. Ha ha, who am I kidding? I’ll be sitting hanging out with you while Matthew does all the kitchen stuff. We all know I’m a horrible cook. You and I can chat about this and that, about the latest things that you’re up to, about the book you just read that I got started but never finished (I’m never going to finish it, so please just tell me how it ends). I’ll ask how you’re doing, but you probably won’t tell me directly because Alden and Kato are fighting over the trampoline and everything’s a bit distracting. Matthew will interrupt and ask me to dress the salad (he always puts way too much dressing on) and I will get up and give your shoulder a squeeze on my way to the kitchen. Matthew will offer you some more tea and we’ll swap – he’ll probably ask all the same questions and you’ll have to repeat yourself a lot and I’ll apologize loudly from the kitchen. You are kind not to seem to mind.

And now Kato has asked you to please please please play freeze tag, and you are so good to oblige. I’m so sorry that he’s no longer wearing his pants.

I see that you are concerned when the three kids collide, but no harm done – the frenzy of the chase is enough to get them back up and running, though August points emphatically at his head and demands a kiss from you before he rejoins the fray. Thanks for doing that.

I have to interrupt the freeze tag so we can all eat dinner. We settle down at the table and say a quick “itadakimasu” – the Japanese version of grace, or more like “bon appetit,” I grew up saying it (did you know my mom was japanese, and awesome, by the way? She would have LOVED you – she was an extraordinarily quick and accurate judge of character). Itadakimasu literally means “I humbly receive” and that’s how I feel about having you here with us on this special day, thrown into the soup with us, as it were, and gracefully weathering the storm of my family.

The kids are occupied with their food, so we can talk some more. We’re excited to hear about your latest plans,  and I think you should just do it. Do it! Matthew’s a little more cautious, but not un-optimistic. He offers some sage advice while I wink and nod and smile at you from behind his back to convince you I’m right, and you pretend like I’m not acting like a weirdo. Matthew totally knows I’m doing it, so he looks you right in the eyes and says, “You gotta do what feels right to you.”  He’s all right, that one.

We barely have time to finish our meal before the kids are demanding another game of freeze tag. I insist you don’t have to, but you insist you do. They are so ecstatic that they forget to ask for dessert (seeing how crazy they are now, you definitely don’t want to see them after brownies and ice cream). You just scored 100 points with me and Matthew. Well done, friend, well done.

Once you’ve run them around the room a few dozen times, they start to flag and ask for a story before bed. (200 points!) You settle down on the couch (since Iggy’s still occupying the recliner) and the kids pile on your lap, each one with a book. By the time you get to the third book, August has fallen asleep and Kato’s eyes are drooping. (300 points!) You ask if you should keep reading and Alden says, “I’m a night owl. I’m not ever going to sleep.” After book #3, Kato is out. (1000 points!)

Time for dessert. Alden gets a tiny portion but doesn’t finish, because she suddenly decides she wants to do some drawing at her desk by the window. I eat the rest of her brownie. You and Matthew and I finally get to sit down and talk like adults – to the gentle soundtrack of snores from August and jingles from Iggy’s collar as she rearranges herself in the recliner. We laugh, we tell stories, and I don’t really remember what all we talk about, but I feel such a fondness for you that I feel in my heart that we are simpatico. It’s a warm fuzzy feeling because frankly I don’t feel simpatico with just anyone. There’s something special about you.

It’s getting late and you see that Matthew has suddenly gotten tired. He does that, all of a sudden. I could rattle on for a long time (Alden isn’t the only night owl in the house) but it’s clear he needs to go to bed. We pack up a little tupperware for you (don’t worry, we’ll get it back from you next time) while you put on your coat. We walk you down the stairs and are saying good-bye when Alden comes trundling down with a paper in her hand. “Don’t forget your card!” she says, “I made it for you.” You kneel down to take it from her, and she points out all of the pieces of the picture. “Here I am. I’m wearing a crown. This is Kato and this is August. August is so small because he’s just a toddler. Here’s Papa – he’s wearing fuzzy pants because it’s so cold outside. And here’s Mama. She has a crown on too, because she’s the queen. And here you are. I drew you in pink because pink is my favorite color. We’re playing freeze tag next to the Christmas tree.” You nod patiently and say some nice admiring things about her drawing skills. Then she takes it back from you and says, “And see? When you fold it up like a card, on the back it says, ‘I love you. Love, Alden.’ That’s because I love you.” She hands it back to you and says “Hug and a kiss!” and you kindly oblige, and she scampers back up the stairs.

Our evening is over and Matthew gives you a big hug. “Good to see you, friend.” Then it’s my turn, and I give you a big hug and an extra squeeze. I start to apologize for the chaos and you stop me. “I had a nice time,” you say. And I look in your eyes and say, “Me, too.” You put Alden’s card in your pocket and you’re out the door. We watch you as you head down the block, and I call out, “Until next time!” and you turn and smile and wave.

Happy holidays, Friend. We’re so glad to have you.

Much love,

Robbi

** This year we are reprising your favorite letters. The original post date of this letter was Dec 16, 2011.

Your Holiday Mom: Robbi was originally published on Your Holiday Mom