#but I have not had the capacity to engage with that yet and I'm sorry but im also appreciative

[piratespencil]

OKAY SO I gotta admit, One Piece (the anime/manga) has always been a thing that I've like, tangentially engaged with but never actually read/watched or followed the story in any substantial capacity, especially given it's so LONG XD That being said, it has had my intrigue for a loooooooong time so I'm consulting you as something of an Expert to ask, how much would you recommend it? (I've been dodging my inevitable fate as a Sanji girlie for so long :P)

I love that I have the title of One Piece Expert haha. XD

I would definitely say that One Piece was a very formative piece of media for me. My early pre-tumblr deviantArt days were very One Piece-heavy and I'm still friends with people I met thru One Piece (hey @muffintonic!!). Usopp remains one of my favourite characters from anything ever.

That being said, it's been years since I've actually been up to date with the anime or manga. (Tho I have been casually following the plot through some OP mutuals I still have... I keep telling myself that someday I'm gonna catch up on OP again lol...) And like, there are some issues I have with it - it's a manga from the 90s, it's inevitably going to fall into some unfortunate tropes, and I also generally preferred the pre-timeskip arcs to the post-timeskip ones.

BUT One Piece still has such a special place in my heart and I think it's worth it despite some flaws. It's funny and silly and weird but it will also break your heart sometimes, which is what the best stories do. It's about found family! It's about being anti-establishment! It's about following the people you love into the depths of hell and about reminding people who have been cast aside by society that they deserve to live with dignity and respect! It's about pirates and adventure and people having the weirdest fucking superpowers you could possibly come up with. It's great.

It's long as hell but that just means that you'll never run out of content. (There are movies and filler episodes and like. Everything you could ever want from this franchise tbh.) I haven't watched the new live action show yet so I can't say if that's a good place to start or not, but my advice would just be to find the first chapter or the first episode, whichever you prefer (the anime is pretty faithful to the manga so you're not missing much either way, the anime just has more filler stuff, some of which is really good!) and just give it a try, see if you like it!

And if you do, you should absolutely tell me what you think! :D I'm an Usopp girlie but Sanji is great too (and SanUso is a popular ship for a reason haha) and I'd love to hear your thoughts! And also maybe that'll inspire me to finally get caught up again. I've heard good things about the recent arcs!

The whole live action show coming out has put me back into a One Piece mood so this was a fun ask to get! :D (I'm sorry this answer was so long tho oops.)

[scramble-crossing]

Hey. I'm friends with your secret santa from this year. (They used my account to ask you questions initially.) I wanted to check that you'd gotten their gifts. It's cool if you don't want to engage with them.

Hi! I live in shame

I absolutely LOVED their gifts!! I can see how much time and effort went into each of them so in turn I wanted to leave detailed comments about specific elements I enjoyed, the characterization of Sho and his incredibly well-done dialogue and the dynamics he has in each fic. Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons this has been an incredibly busy, stressful, miserable couple of weeks which has sent me in a bit of a tailspin, and I wanted to wait until I had the spoons to leave a thoughtful response. But then the longer I failed to do so the more I built it up in my head like "Okay well I have to put EXTRA effort into it now to make up for the lateness" and then I psyched myself out because I felt guilty which only made me put it off MORE which made me feel MORE GUILTY to the point where it now consumes my waking thoughts yet still fails to make me actually suck it up and confront the issue at hand 👍 Rest assured I've received at least partial comeuppance in this fucked up anxiety saw trap I've built for myself.

Seriously though, I'm very sorry. Looking back I should've left a comment in acknowledgement and said I'd come back to leave a better one when I had the time and capacity to do so. A lot of the catalysts for my current stress were very very predictable and I should've definitely planned ahead. I will leave comments tomorrow. I do honestly love and appreciate the gifts (I haven't read a lot of their fics yet, but the ones I have are fantastic and when I saw they were my secret santa I was super excited! whoa it's my sho writer idol!) and I'm sorry that it definitely looked like I didn't after putting off responding for so long.

[monochromeheartbeat]

what do you think about the autistic brittany headcanon?

I think this is something that deserves a lot of thought and reflection, and I’m honestly not certain I have the best answer to it. Under the cut cause it gets long:

As an individual, I’ve had a pretty traumatic upbringing — one that at a very young age put me in a very untrusting dynamic with therapy that I won’t get into because it’s sad. And then my relationship with my adoptive mom was strained because she was studying psychology and did that thing you’re not supposed to do, which is to diagnose those close to you. With everything, founded or unfounded, based on a lot of struggles I was navigating balancing this growing up too fast and out of my control with desperately wanting to just be a kid, you know? And the support just. It didn’t exist for me in the way that was what I needed. Which was kindness and gentleness and patience.

So I have a hard time with the idea of head canons in general. I have a personal disdain for when people project their ideas of what they think of me onto me. It’s why I struggle with labels. I’m already a minority in so many ways — an orphan, adopted, mix-raced, Asian-American, 1st generation, unstable home, trauma/abuse, etc, etc. Discovering (through this particular fandom) that I was queer, I was like. Great, another box! (it's honestly okay - great even - now, but I was so afraid of losing what little I had when I realized it)

Don’t get me wrong, I believe mental health is SO important. I think I'm using mental health as an umbrella term here to include just general psychology terms, as I think autism is a learning/social disorder, not necessarily a mental health one. Idk, I'm really lacking in knowledge here. Still, diagnoses help with getting treatment or routines created and can really help improve quality of life. But autism specifically sounds like such a difficult thing to navigate, because autism is one of those diagnoses that can really restrict your personal freedoms because of prejudice against it (like whether or not you can gain citizenship in other countries). So I understand why a lot of people turn to self-diagnosis as an alternative.

But from my experiences with childhood, I am torn between having seen my parental figure diagnose me in an unprofessional capacity (and therefore concerns around self-diagnosis) and professionals harm me with good intentions but lack of care or tact when dealing with a child (thus a personal distrust of therapists that yes, I've worked on somewhat, and yes, I know better to ask for what I need than wait to be told).

The short of it is… I don’t think I’m qualified to tell you if this fictional character is autistic. I don’t know a lot about autism. I love that people identify with their favorite characters, and I think if that’s how you relate to that character, it’s a wonderful and special relationship you have with them. I think if she is autistic, she suffered in the sense that… canonically, Brittany never got the support from adult characters in the show other characters got. No one took her needs seriously. I didn’t really watch the season her parents were introduced (and I won’t get into my feelings about having been raised not being told I was Asian until later in life, the racism I experienced and didn't even understand, and how I feel in regards to the casting of Pierce Pierce), but from what I did watch and remember, her only support was really, truly, Santana. 

I love that Santana was her support system. I hate that she didn’t get explored with the depth and care other characters got. I hate that she was the butt of so many jokes. Yet, I loved Hemo for being so good at being so funny anyway. And I don’t know if we have enough information about her to determine if she was or wasn’t autistic. And I’m sorry I’m not more knowledgeable about autism in general. I know that it’s a more common topic of discussion than it was when I was more socially engaged on the internet a decade ago. My coworker talks to me often about his experiences, which is the only true source I have for autism information, but he's a new friend and I'm still learning a lot. But I hope I’ve answered this with as much respect and sensitivity as I can, because I don’t want to perpetuate any harm to a community that experiences a lot of stereotypes and misinformation. 

[starvels]

hello! sorry for the ask out of nowhere, but i was wondering if you had any steve-centric fic recs, especially any dealing with hurt (comfort optional) or emotional whump?

hello dear! never say sorry for sending an ask, i truly love to receive them, even if i'm not at capacity to respond immediately!

here are some steve centric hurt/hurt&comfort fics from moots that i think deserve some more love! mind tags as some of these are dead doves!

After the Devil is Gone by Ironlawyer

When Steve leaves to travel the country on his bike, Tony comes with him. But Steve is not ready to face those particular demons yet.

troubled man, troubled home by Welcoming_Disaster

“I need to not be able to think right now. I need you to drown it all out.” Steve reaches up, setting a hand on the side of Tony’s face. It’s intimate, almost uncomfortably so. “Hurt me.”

as if we'd never left by veryvincible

Steve's been alone in his town for quite some time; his lover disappeared, possibly even left, after he was infected with lycanthropy over a decade ago, and the townspeople hardly want him around. But he's useful to them, at least, and when a string of thefts along the northern building strike fear into the hearts of the townspeople, he takes initiative and investigates. He's not prepared for what he finds.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 by Kiyaar

In another world, on another Earth, the Superhuman Civil War has a darker, bloodier end.

you can think that you’re in love, when you’re really just in pain by lomku

Every day, they take Steve, and every day, he comes back a little less pristine.

A Borrowed Body by dirigibleplumbing

After Steve shows up in San Francisco, Tony uses Extremis to make him strong and beautiful again. Tony wants sex in return, and Steve gives it to him—he owes this body to Tony, after all. Every month after that, he visits Tony to keep up his end of the bargain. That will just have to be enough for him.

Black Space for Many Dreams by Missy_dee811

The search for Tony is on. Finding him in an abandoned warehouse, Steve wonders if he should say the things that are on his mind.

-

and two self recs of fics i've got ongoing! :'))) stop bath

It’s not complicated. One piece of paper. Short, to the point. Times New Roman. Repulsive. Continue engagements with Tony Stark until further instructions. ‘Engagements.’ Such a pretty, innocuous term. ‘Until further instructions.’ Such a sweet, auguring threat. They don’t even have to say, or else. Steve gets the message: keep his private life private and his employment gainful by continuing to suck dick.

Devils In the Canyon

It’s been eight months since Steve survived Fisk’s attempt to shoot him dead in the street. Now, he has been captured by vampire hunters who are looking to torture him for information about Tony Stark’s daytime retreat location. But, Steve’s not much good at following directions or giving into pain. And as he refuses to give up Stark, Timely refuses to give up on their Sheriff. They’ll find him, he knows it. Steve just has to hope it isn’t too late to save what’s left of him.

-

feel free to add more anyone! go forth and comment love!! 💟

[decennia]

Yo, it sucks that you're getting nonny hate I'm sorry that's happening. If a message like this is not alright please delete, but I am someone who has been friends with Maddie in the past and also defended them. I have experienced this kind of thing, with similarities between characters, but always believed them when reasons were given. I don't know really what to do, because I have enjoyed this friendship with them for so long I feel like a betrayer if I speak out or confront them about it.

kinda sus how after i do a mass culling of certain people during my blocking spree that all the hate anons stopped 🤔 yet my friends who just rbed my post and didn't block those people are receiving tons of anons. just seems a little ✨️weird✨️ if you ask me

listen, bby, if the explanations maddie gave you were anything like the ones they gave me? i'm sorry to say but you did this to yourself 😭💔 they were complete and utter bullshit (receipts privately available upon dm if you're interested). genuinely. and that was my final straw. i wasn't about to be lied to about this. i tried hearing them out, but it all sounded hella suspicious.

i also really enjoyed the friendship, always had fun with the crossovers. YOU are not the one in the wrong. plagiarism is very serious in a community based on creative works. YOU are not the betrayer, you were betrayed. you trusted that, as a friend, they would not steal from you, or lie to you. they betrayed that trust. they betrayed mine. and then had the sheer audacity to lie about it, too.

this isn't what icks me out the most, though. what really got under my skin and made my stomach roil was the fact that, under a completely different blog and alias, they contacted me as if they were a stranger, asking for potential crossovers; all while i was speaking to them on their main blog. i have received criticism for essentially "doxxing" them on a blog they supposedly "made to shelter themselves from the hate they get on their main."

i believe that was the reason for the creation of ocfanhub & codenamekryptonite at first. genuinely, i do. but why interact with your main blog then? why engage in the blog that you received all this supposed hate on? why interact with yourself as if you are completely different people, asking yourself questions, making yourself crossovers and edits? interact with your already established friends as if they were strangers? it doesn't make any fucking sense:

and the fact that, during a giveaway, when given the opportunity to nominate another blog for a gift, they nominated themselves under the guise of "sending good vibes to another creator." especially since the giveaway has a request limit? they literally lied to receive more gifts, and it's not okay.

not to mention having their friends gaslight people or other creators into thinking someone is insane for even entertaining the idea that maddie and veronica were the same person. i have trust issues to begin with. this? is a total violation of the trust i gave them and their friend, and i don't think i am in the correct capacity to trust so freely again on this site. which is sad, because i love meeting new people and cultivating creative based friendships.

[spiral2005]

#vent under the cut. sorry for the mental illness but i've gotten TOO much of it i need to voice my pain to the internet now

so these past two or so weeks my cookie game fixation came back. kind of. i don't play the games anymore (i did actually try and pick them back up recently but 1. i get bored of mobile games really fast and 2. i don't really want to support the company anymore. because they're lame), but an irl friend started talking to me about it and specifically wanted to like draw some of the characters and i was like "yeah i'll tag along." so i did draw some of those characters. and it made my mental health worse LOL

i lot of the issues i have with cookie game don't really come from the game itself, really? it definitely has it's problems and again i don't actively engage with the games anymore but a lot of the character designs are genuinely really good. i've tried stealing some of them and putting them into their own stories multiple times but i've always given up mainly because of the reason i'm going to get into

my main issue is that the cookie game fandom is lame. like big time. and i don't really know how to put it into exact words and i don't really like admitting it but it definitely fucked me up a little mentally. it was the first online fandom i joined when i became old enough to actually do things online, plus i joined it during the lockdown so i was at home for a significantly longer time than usual and was able to be active in the fandom more. i had joined a server with a group of decently notable people in it who were friendly towards me and it made me feel genuinely really nice, as someone who was treated poorly by a lot of people who i considered myself to be "close" to before.

but also, like i said, it was the first time i was really interacting with strangers on the internet, so i didn't really have the proper, like, "online etiquette" instilled in my brain yet. so i started to act really irrational and passive aggressive towards this group of people once i started to believe they "didn't really like me anymore." it got bad to the point where the group of people stopped talking to me altogether. and, like, i don't have a problem with that in it of itself; i do look back at how i acted towards that group and recognize "yeah. i was being a dick." but also at the time it felt extremely sudden. i believe one of the people in this group tried to tell me what i was doing wrong beforehand but it was in a really vauge and awkward way that i couldn't really understand. and a lot of the "problematic" things i was doing were also like, me genuinely trying to get along with them? like i would watch this group of people make jokingly teasing remarks about each other constantly and when i would try and do the same i guess it failed and came off as genuine rudeness a lot of the time. i was trying really hard to get this group of people who i were friends with to "like me again" but i was young and it came off as rude and selfish instead.

i think at this point that i've grown as a person from my days as a young cookie game fan. i try to be compassionate to people online and try not to overstep my boundaries and things of the like. but me fucking up my first ever attempt still kind of haunts me to this day. even with people i'm close with in real life, i am constantly wondering whether or not i'm coming off as too mean and i'm secretly hurting the people around me. even at the smallest hint of dissatisfaction towards me, i immediately start worrying about what i might have done wrong, and if said person is going to completely block me out of their life the next day without me knowing what i did in the first place. i have a lot of people in my life right now who i know care about me, and i'm genuinely really thankful for that, but i know that i have the capacity in me to change someone's mind about that, and that's scary to me.

i got to a point where i wasn't being reminded of this as often, but now that cookie game has been a thing i've been thinking about my old "friend group" is also eventually going to come up. in all honestly, i don't really want closure from any of them. a lot of the (rightfully) do not care about cookie game anymore, and the ones that do make me a little uncomfortable for other reasons, but nonetheless, i still feel bad that i made a group of people older than me hate me by being too #entitledminorcore around them. there's a lot of other intricacies to my current mental state that tie back to my old fandom days in some shape or form, but i don't want to share too much on the internet. i just want to share a little. so i hopefully stop thinking about it.

[tozettastone]

Hello! Any tips for a first time fic writer? I am stuck at the actually posting it part lol

Oh nice! It's so exciting to be a first time poster! At the risk of exposing myself as a serial account monogamist (if such a thing exists), I've had multiple different LJ, FFn and AO3 accounts on different occasions. I love the feeling of a clean account, no expectations, all softlike and fresh and new... it's like opening a new notebook. No messy writing in it yet. Only clean pages as far as the hands can flip... hnngh. (...Of course, there's something to be said for a full notebook stuffed with notes and ideas, too)

So the situation is: you wrote a fic you like, and you want to share it online, and you're looking for tips or thoughts on that because you feel some trepidation about it?

Okay, sure, in no particular order, in a nice list of dot points:

Posting a fic isn't like having a baby, you're not permanently committed to the thing you produced just because you posted it. It's your writing and you can do what you want with it. You don't have to keep it. Ophan it. Or take it down. Or close comments. Or keep it as a monument to past sins so you can laugh nervously about it later.

Mean readers really aren't that common, although I understand that many fic writers worry about it. (And, it's also dependent a bit on fandom, I think.) Most people who dislike your fic will have a whinge to a friend in private, as is their prerogative. You'll never know and you won't have to care. On the off chance someone is actually mean directly to you about your fic in public, well, character evidence immediately shows why you don't need to worry about their opinions.

Do remember to tag your fic if you're posting on ao3 though. Minimum: main characters, major pairings, big 4 archive warnings. Do it for the team. 💪

Despite people's weird moralistic screeds about "creating for yourself", there's nothing wrong with wanting engagement. You wouldn't post if you weren't excited to share in some capacity! But you kind of have to protect your ego a little against the possibility of not getting that engagement. Sometimes people aren't into what you're into. That's normal, so it's best not to think about it in terms of what engagement you might be "owed".

Readers are looking for what they're looking for, which is probably another time travel au or a lengthy navel-gazing romance between indistinguishable white male characters. There's no need to internalise engagement as a comment on yourself personally, that way goes madness.

Fanfic is only as high stakes as it is in one's head, honestly. It's a hobby. Have fun, don't think too hard. It's usually not that serious. If something goes wrong you're still not going to hurt anyone.

I'm not sure if this is what you were looking for, but there ends my advice on this topic. Sorry if you were looking for something different, anon.

[jennagrinsoverml]

28? But am I allowed to ask that in general about your fics instead of one? Like any secret mention or a line you worked hard to make good that no one's ever mentioned?

28. Is there a part of [Fanfic Name] you’re surprised no one has picked up on yet?

Sorry for taking a while to answer, but I really needed to think about this one.

There were definitely parts of Standard Deviation (Avengers fic) I was disappointed no one ever picked up on. We were hinting really strongly at a secret relationship between Clint and Natasha that was going to come to light in later parts (that sadly never got written), but no one ever picked up on it.

In terms of my ML stuff, though, I'm really hard pressed to think of anything. I've actually been really amazed at the way readers have engaged with my works! It's made me really happy 🥰 (I mean, a reader figured out how I came up with Adrien's pet name for Louis, "Duckie", in Sex, Interrupted!! Y'all are amazing!)

Like no one commented on the ridiculousness of Adrien's fears regarding the non-compete in his Gabriel contract in chapter 1 of The Closest Thing to Love. Like I didn't research enough French law to say with 100% certainty, but based on my knowledge of common law systems, there's just no way that a modeling contract would be able to prevent you from working in any capacity at all ever (like in a restaurant). People need to eat, you know? But I don't really think that's a big deal because the focus wasn't on the law there, it was on Gabriel being unreasonable in his attempts to control Adrien, and Adrien's wish to avoid confrontation with his father as much as possible.

Also not really something that I expect readers to "pick up on" per se, but also in The Closest Thing to Love, I feel like I really got the dynamics and characterizations right when I had Marinette break to Alya about the big secret (the engagement being fake) while Adrien kept it together even though he was suffering too. I felt very validated when Marinette revealed her identity to Alya in season 4, while Adrien has still kept his identity a secret (Luka doesn't count lol).

Haha sorry I wrote a novel. Thanks for the ask! 💖💖

(For the Fanfic Writer Ask Game)

[rpbetter]

I'm a novella roleplayer who writes long-term threads. Since this is very rare on tumblr, I've noticed that many muns are intimidated or put off by how much I write, how much information there is on my muse, and other things inherent to long-term roleplay. People have even told me outright, "I'm intimidated by you". But I do wonder if there's another component besides, well, just the amount of writing I do. Maybe there's a way to negate some of this by using certain techniques, wording, etc in my rules and overall presentation. Do you have any advice on how to reduce how intimidating I seem, even with the amount of writing I do? Any particular things I should avoid? And at what point should I just not worry about it, because it's out of my control?

Hello, Anon! Thank you very much for this question, I think it's a discussion many could benefit from. That should probably be head's up for everyone that this is going to get long, yes.

People have also told me, outright, that they're "intimidated," and I know that's something my writing partners have been told as well. It's also something that seems to be a common statement toward novella roleplayers in particular, and one's chance of having it said increases with factors such as being a long-term RPer, particularly good vocabulary, visible skill with writing, and indeed, having a muse you've dedicated obvious time to developing - made obvious in not only the amount of information available on your muse but also in your confidence about that muse.

I honestly do not think most people who say this any more realize that it's a little offensive than they know precisely what it is they are trying to tell you. Regardless, it makes it a bit hard to know what you're doing, if it's actually something wrong, is it something you can or should change, or is it just another case of being the minority in the RPC, therefore, having more muns out there that you're not suited to writing with? No one knows, because it's vague!

So, I’m additionally going to beg everyone out there to not say this. Please, if you find yourself categorizing another RPer as “intimidating,” do everyone a favor and consider what is making you feel this way, even if you never tell them this. Eventually, you will tell someone, and if you’ve thought on it already, you’ll be better able to express yourself in a way that is neither offensive nor vague. If you do tell someone they are “intimidating,” expand on it and be specific. Tell them whether it is the length, writing style, the mun OOC, it’ll be very helpful. You needn’t be shitty about it, just honest and polite.

Try: “I’m not confident enough to write with you, I don’t feel like I’m capable of writing that much, or that well, but I would love to keep following so I can read it!”

You’ve not been offensive at all, but have told them what your difficulty is. You’ve also kept this a you problem, not a them problem. When we tell people they are “intimidating,” that is a negative connotation that implies they are doing something wrong. We've made it a Them Problem. Maybe there is something they could work on, but your feelings over perceived limitations aren’t their problem. They can’t change the way you feel about yourself and your writing in contrast to theirs. By saying it this way, it’s still clear that you don’t think this will work out, you’ve told them why, and you’ve done it without projecting responsibility.

Alright, sorry, just in case anyone out there who says this and isn’t immediately turned off by the length of this reads it.

As I said, I've been told this as well, when it seemed like a mun that would be alright with me asking for specifics, I have. Unfortunately, they couldn't describe those specifics in any more detailed terms. I'm not saying this to shame anyone's capacity to describe their impressions or wishes, sometimes even the best writers aren't good at expressing themselves more personally. I'm just saying that a clearer description wasn't possible, and that I am taking this from what has been expressed by these people and others in limited ways, directly stated or vented about vaguely.

The length appears to be the predominating issue.

"It's just a lot," "I feel like I'd miss things in it," "intense," and "I like quicker back and forth" are some of the major points that have been made to or around me. They're the first and primary things that are mentioned, and they all deal with the length (though, the intensity thing also deals with the writing itself).

As you already know, as a novella RPer and how unpopular that is, the length is usually an issue, yes. Let me rephrase that - it is an issue that is a part of the vague descriptor of being "intimidating," I do not feel that lengthy RP itself is a problem! Just the problem that some muns are having with seeing you as a viable, approachable RP partner.

Looking at someone's writing is something I always highly advise doing while looking for new partners, but I believe that our writing as novella RPers can obscure it for some when they're not actively a writing partner yet, thus, not involved in it. I enjoy reading threads I am not a part of, and since everyone I write with is also novella, that means I'm essentially reading short stories every time I do - that's not typical. Most people just see Wall of Text in a novella thread they're not involved in.

It's kind of a seeing the individual trees in a forest situation, and might not have anything to do with the mun's potential interest or viability as a partner. I mean, I doubt you're looking to engage interest of short multi-para or one-line muns, since that isn't your preferred writing type and yours is not theirs. So, you're likely looking at the few and far between other novella and any lengthier multi-para muns. So, it's not going to be an issue of simply being novella, thus immensely overwhelming and not their thing. It's more likely to be that your novella is particularly lengthy, and again, they're not yet involved in it. They’re seeing a task, not the fun engagement of it yet.

I know that I've had several mid to lengthier multi-para muns approach me wanting to write, they're usually interested specifically in beginning to move toward doing novella. They also see the fruits of these great storylines, OOC friendships, and in-thread relationships on the dash, not the building that went into them. The expectation is different from the reality, and once they start receiving my replies, that can quickly turn overwhelming. They've now got something on their hands that has been too lengthy for other, established novella writers, and it's all at the beginning still with the muses.

This is when I tend to get that I'm intimidating from people who have begun to write with me, and I think it is telling of the Wall of Text problem with partners you've not gained yet, too. The problem of how they're viewing the writing is that they do not see things within it that are immediately, and easily, engaging to them specifically.

The people I referenced, they're having the same problem. Our muses do not know each other, there is no established connection of animosity or affection, no "dynamic" to fuel their replies. When looking at a lengthy novella reply and trying to judge interest in writing with the mun, they're naturally not going to see that either, since it doesn't exist yet.

And it might not exist at all.

I want to be clear to everyone that I am not saying one needs to write in a way that is not enjoyable to them, I'm just guessing at problems based on the majority of the RPC's interests and what I have been told over the years, a lot of years. Like, no one come at me about forcing anyone to write anything, or being acephobic or something fucking nuts, thanks!

People are really, really into the romantic ships. I do not care what the RPC says because it knows it's the right thing to say lol if it wasn't true, it wouldn't be a huge, and totally observable as true, problem that characters who are hard to ship with or do not ship are passed over. Regardless of beautiful writing, engaging muses, and incredible worldbuilding, they're passed over because they're not a ship partner in the waiting.

So, it's quite possible that if you do not have threads in which there are observable ships, muns are seeing the Wall of Text because there's nothing that grabs at their particular interests. I don't even just mean smut, either. I've found that far more muns than there used to be are willing to not write that, but they still want the ships.

You might be a RPer who does not do shipping at all, has a difficult to ship with muse, or who simply does not place this as a priority in your own interests. There is nothing wrong with either direction of this preference! It’s alright for people to have preferences, even if they can feel annoying to us because they’re leaving us out, or we genuinely just do not get the thrill. It’s totally okay for people to not be interested in shipping, or not place a particularly high value on it, and more muns than the RPC realizes feel this way. It’s as unpopular, and far more limiting, take on RP as being here openly only for them is. There’s nothing wrong with you as a writer or a person if you don’t write ships and smut, but it is the opposite of many people’s interests here. This would be something you can’t control, yeah. It’s still good to know as a part of the puzzle!

They see a lot of things they do not have any instant feelings about and/or what they perceive as interaction points. As, unfortunately, the predominant mode of writing here is reactive, and in brutal honesty, often self-interested. It's not rewarding to many muns in this RPC to build stories cooperatively together for the sake of those stories and love of the muses, they require putting their muse on display, having impassioned interactions through that muse's reactions.

So, you might be writing the most vivid scenes, the most beautiful character study, and letting your muse be a fleshed out, realistic person, but they're seeing "I can't react to this."

Which is, by the way, bullshit. Not just that it's bullshit as a way to try to write together, it's also bullshit in that you can react to anything. You can react to, literally, nothing. If you're muse has said not a word to mine for an entire reply, not physically interacted with them, they're just sitting there in a chair staring off into space (also not a great way to write, but I'm giving an extreme example) the whole time, I can react to that.

To be fair, my primary muse is really uh, busy, let's say lol it does make him both incredibly easy to interact with and very easy to generate natural reactions from. And that might also be a problem people are having...

Your muse is quiet.

They're the opposite of someone who is physically or verbally “busy.” They think more than they move or speak, they remain at emotional, verbal, and physical distances from others. The quiet, and still, type on the outside.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I love reading a muse's internal processes because I'm approaching this as a reader as much as I am a writer. It doesn't need to be something my muse can know or react to for me to enjoy it, I want to enjoy your muse, other people's muses are part of the joy of RP for me. And not just in what I might achieve having mine interact with them. There are muses mine very, very much did not work out with that I have continued to enjoy the stories of for years without writing with them!

But that's me. And I'm weird.

A lot of people are going to look at the sort of writing, particularly when not involved with it yet, and see...Words. Maybe they don't find them boring or any such thing, but they can't so easily envision themselves responding to it with the sort of vigor required to reply with length in kind. It's again the same dual issue going on that might just be making your writing difficult to approach.

It might be legitimately daunting, and might be more so if...

You're well-written.

One would think this would be a boon to written roleplay, but I haven't seen it be that in a long time. On tumblr, that has weirdly come to signify "elitism."

It's not just more legitimately intimidating for some out there because they feel they cannot write as well as you, might appear lacking or boring, end up dropped because of it. No, of course not! It's tumblr, where decent behavior as well as logic comes to die! It's because they've gotten the idea that you might be shitty to them because you posses more experience, skill, or innate talent with writing.

That's not helped when every time someone is told on any basis at all, in any manner at all, or one has any existent expectations for RPing that someone else might take issue with as though they're being forced to comply with them instead of not interacting, people freak out and call it elitism. Since most people who choose to be mutuals only and as such, are going to have to decline sometimes, are also those who are lengthier RPers...we're all categorized as Elitists.

People see what works for us as different kinds of RPers as something that is in opposition to them, and judgement of them. We can’t have scores of active partners when we write ten thousand word or more replies to everyone, it doesn’t work for us, and that doesn’t mean we think you’re an awful RPer for doing this differently than we do. We’re just exercising boundaries that are necessary for the way we enjoy it. Like how much length in return, literacy, and dedication we’re going to give and expect in return. It isn’t passing judgement, but when you want to write with a particular portrayal and they’re limited threads, mutuals only, novella and it shuts you out of the interaction, it’s easy to agree with the posts you’ve seen condemning differences of choice as elitist and hateful.

While you'd hope that people would exercise their own judgement, with the way that the RPC is so often on edge, you can't entirely blame people for being willing to believe they can identity a potential source of unpleasantness to avoid. As wild as it is, that includes people within the novella community. Your OOC is too well-spoken, your writing is too well-written? Might be an elitist. Even while they write much the same way as you do without realizing it!

I think when most people say someone here is "intimidating," it's not exactly what they mean, but for others, it's more literal than it is literary.

If you have any reason to believe this might be part of the issue, while I would never advise anyone to alter their writing to be something they personally feel is lesser than what they're capable of, you might want to consider a greater air of the casual in any OOC posts you make. Try to be as approachable there as you can - so long as that doesn't mean lying about it, of course! If we're genuinely not that gregarious or socially open, we shouldn't act like that's the case. That sets up one party with expectations that are neither true nor going to prove anything but frustrating to the other party.

I've had some success with that! And, even at my most casual, I'm not the most approachable of people lol I come off as rather intense, kind of aggressive, way too salty, curses flow from me like water during a monsoon, interspersed with...well, things like "interspersed." So, if I've seen success with that, it's possible that muns who are more genuinely gregarious, chill, and verbally polite people might see it as well!

It seems to be a case of allowing other muns the opportunity to see that you, yourself, are not frightening. You're just a person like they are, and a person who isn't going to be hateful to them if they are not perfect writers or perfectly on your level of writing. When that is apparent, approaching the writing itself is more openly done - yes, this mun has a grasp on description/dialogue/vocabulary/descriptive scenes that I do not, but they don't aggressively think they're the shit for it, so, it's safe for me to try to interact.

The Wall of Words that was once a poster for how badly they might be treated is now a collection of RP replies.

Write for the partners you want to attract.

Again, I do not want anyone to stop writing in the way they enjoy! However, what we put out is also what we attract to a large degree. It could be that your writing is an attractant for only a very small portion of the RPC, and it already is, by virtue of being both novella and the sort of novella it is.

That's very easy to do anyway, but even more so if we have few partners to write with. What we have on display is minimal, it might not have the range we're actually capable of, and therefore, might not be attracting that range of muns.

This is something I have experienced as well, though it was a little different a situation. Upon first writing RP on tumblr, I couldn't find anyone writing novella. I could barely find anyone doing short multi-para. Just as I'd find it inappropriate for someone approaching me to insist that I do one-line RP because it's what they do, I didn't find it appropriate to force novella on these muns. That's what I agreed to by interacting with them, after all! It isn't what I enjoy doing, however, it's harder for me to write short replies, so, I was consistently on the lookout for novella partners.

Those novella partners couldn't exactly see decades of my lengthy RPs, though, since they didn't take place on tumblr. They could only see the current threads, which were all quite short and rather limited in range of action, tone, muse interaction, and so on. Basically, just about whatever someone was willing to give me, and those things were pretty similar. I couldn't exactly blame potential partners for looking at this "resume" and thinking that I just thought I wanted to write novella, but was capable of neither that nor the sort of stories I wished to create.

Since I couldn't find partners to organically give me these different things, I wrote them sans partners. Much of this was in headcanon form, showing that I had spent quite a long time thinking about my canon character as more than was presented in canon only, as well as showing that I could string more than a paragraph together, but it seems like you've got the muse information down, so this might not be the best direction for you.

That might be the other thing I wrote to this end: one shots.

Especially as I do not do open starters as someone who requires some plotting, these served as a way of allowing various situations to be displayed in which other muns could better see what interacting with my muse was actually like. They could see that this truly is the way I'd prefer to write, this is a better display of my muse under various conditions and emotions, and this is how interacting with my muse as this or that type of person might go.

I don't know if you have a canon, OC, or multiples of both, but it also seemed to be helpful that I took canon events people might be familiar with and wrote snippets of them from my muse's perspective - yes, even if they were already in those events, it shows your unique portrayal. People like that for the same reason they like fanfic, a dozen people can write a canon event and give you a dozen different takes on it. It meant that they'd be more likely to read it at all, too, let's be honest.

If you have an OC, you can flesh out a fandom-specific verse they have by writing such a one shot revolving around a fandom event. I'd say not to directly insert your OC into a major canon event, but if you're going to anyway, be sure you are giving realistic changes that might occur with this character's presence in that event. Not going overboard and making them the thing that saves the day, not just having them there in the midst of some great cataclysm miraculously surviving to bear witness only. It's still my advice to place them within that world and have them aware of an event.

Something like...trying to think of a fandom and event the most people would be familiar with here...your OC is in the MCU or has a verse there, they're employed as a police officer with the NYPD - tell me what they did at work the day of the invasion in New York City in the 2012 Avengers. Did they see superheroes in the distance while they and their fellow officers were engaged in a situation they were in no way equipped to handle? And how did your OC feel about that?

That sort of thing.

If it's a canon, try to think of a situation that isn't represented among your current threads, but that is also going to be of interest potential partners. If you have few threads showing your muse in friendship with another, find something in their canon that does. No threads with much action, go for that. Show an aspect of your muse that was present when they were younger, but that is downplayed in them now. Show some things that will be new information from your unique portrayal, and do all of this while displaying your range as a writer - you can be more serious or more fun, can destroy someone with angst or make them hope a ship works out well.

This way, you're showing people what all they might get, not just what you've been given to work with. That can go a long way toward negating feelings of "intimidation" if all they're seeing is you doing one thing extremely well, so well that they feel they cannot compete with it. So, yeah, write the things you feel you're not good at, too! It puts people at ease to see you're not perfect either.

As regards rules...

Oh, boy...lmao with no intent to inflame anyone's righteousness here, so long as your rules are conveying what you feel they should, they're fine. I'm not going to say that rules cannot be a turn off, that you shouldn't find a voice that is clear, polite, and when it needs to be, firm. It's simply that you do not come off as someone who needs to be told that, Anon. If you're worried about how your rules might sound, they're almost certainly fine.

However, rules are the way they are for a reason - if you feel like you're coming off as too strict, harsh, whatever, there might be a reason why that was your first inclination. If you remake them to be softer, are you going to run into the same problems that caused you to harden them before?

I know, you're trying to attract people and downplay a notion of being "intimidating," but it's important to realize that, short of either finding a way to please everyone who comes across them or telling everyone to do whatever they please, you have no opinions, expectations, or needs, you're going to put people off. I've seen people be incredibly offended by the nicest of rules simply because they were rules. They were still clearly stated boundaries that did not align with what was desired.

For example, if I were to have in my RP rules the following:

My rules are basically just have fun and don't be a dick! This is just a hobby, I'm not paying you.

That's going to turn some people off and anger them because that's, firstly, incredibly vague, secondly, the latter part has become seriously negative.

If I were to have in my RP rules this:

I have a lot of detailed rules because I want to only write with people who will be as dedicated to it as I am, I'd rather we know now than later that we're not a good match before anyone is disappointed or offended!

That's going to turn some people off and anger them because it is contrary to the way they view and partake in the hobby. To these people, it'll come off as ridiculous expectations that are aggressive despite the wording not being so.

The point is, because this is a hobby dependent upon interacting with other people, there is a lot that is out of your control.

I probably should have done a better segue to this, but hey - most of this is out of your control.

By its very nature of individuals interacting, what is "intimidating" means different things to everyone. What I find to be that, isn't going to be what you find to be so. You can't know what someone, let alone everyone who says this, means by it in order to make those changes.

Some of those changes are a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation, like the rules.

Other changes are undesirable. You, obviously, cannot RP without partners, but it's no good making changes that will see the partners you won't work with being added, or that will ruin the things you enjoy about RP. If changing your writing style is going to do that, don't do it. If opening up new types of plots is going to do so, don't do it. Anything that is going to excessively give you stress or personal disappointment isn't a change you should make. That’s the sort of shit that was meant by it being “just a hobby” in the beginning - you’re not obliged to make yourself miserable like you are at a job sometimes, and you aren’t beholden to the standards of a professional author unless you wish to be.

It's wonderful that you're addressing this problem from the perspective of what you can do! The idea of changing much of anything is a negative one to many people. They have to be carefully approached to even consider that as a possibility, and once they do, it's more often than not that the reaction is volatile. We never think we're perfect until someone so much as loosely implies we might need work on something. So, your willingness and interest in what you can do to fix something nebulous is both incredible and a credit to how approachable you probably are in all actuality.

It bodes really well, is what I'm saying lol or...it would, if this were not the environment that it is. One in which people do react with volatility to anything that does not go exactly and immediately the way they desire. Including wanting to interact with a particular muse, then seeing that the mun doesn't write in their preferred style, length, or with their desired topics.

Many times, that's really what is meant by "intimidating." It isn't truly that they're afraid of you or your writing, but rather, that they're not getting exactly what they think they want, in the way they want, on the timeline they want. But they don't want to be offensive, they're walking on eggshells like most everyone is when telling someone, "I'm sorry, but I don't think we'll work out" is tantamount to personally attacking them.

So, giving what they feel is a compliment that still shuts down the possibility of someone trying to push for interaction anyway, that becomes the best approach. They're not giving you specifics because no, they may not even know those specifics, it might just be the feeling your writing gives them, but they're also not giving them when they have them because they don't want to be unfairly taken to task for the crime of being honest with you. After all, when we don't know someone OOC yet, we don't know that they're a reasonable person. Telling someone, "I like what you're doing, I love your muse, but the tone of your writing isn't something I can reply to, it's just too different," might have them defensively putting words in your mouth.

As I said, asking someone for details didn't get me very far. I've had to try to piece together what "intimidating" means to many different people over the years by what they tell me in conversations away from the mun they said was thus more than anything. So, don't expect that you'll get much either, but next time someone tells you this, if they seem like someone who won't take as you pressing for interaction and react badly, ask them to give you specifics. Tell them you'd like to know what makes you intimidating to them so that you can work on it, that it would really help you out to know. Make it about them helping you, not declining you.

Just going off of the only writing I have from you, which is definitely not sufficient (if you'd like, you can always submit a portion of your in character writing or tumblr message me some of it so that I might be able to be more effective) since it's both short and OOC, I'd say people might feel that you're not...relaxed? Not entirely the word I am looking for, I apologize! But something in that vein!

It doesn't come off like you're frighteningly or excessively official to me, but knowing tumblr, I can see it. Because you are quite well-spoken, and even in this casual format, you are displaying good grammar and principle. Fifteen years ago, I might have also felt something like “intimidated" by you!

Like everywhere, tumblr is full of educational snobbery. Which is insane, considering it's also full of crimes against writing that make me want to rip my hair out, but anyway...the mark of being authoritative is to display one's intellect the only way we truly can here - by suddenly out writing everyone. If we're already establishing ourselves as well-spoken muns, we've laid the foundation of being capable of utterly destroying someone publicly by shaming them on a core level.

Tumblr is also full of people who are not at a point of life experience, and the writing experience accrued within it, to use what they've learned in the higher education the majority have or are presently obtaining. It's easy for younger people to feel pre-offended by someone who writes with more skill and confidence than they do. They've bought into the notion of such validations of superiority, but they can't quite lay those down upon themselves yet, or see that they’re capable of this and it doesn’t make them an elitist, so, it’s absurd to assume everyone else is on the same pretext.

Please, everyone here under, like, 25, I'm not shaming you. I've obviously long internalized it as well! When I'm angry, I don't become less articulate, I become more so. That probably says something unpleasant about how well I understand this problem. So, don't be offended. It's a societal problem, we're all impacted by it. It just takes a little bit to realize these things is what I'm saying here. Not that you're dumb and malicious because you're young and learning.

With this in mind, it's very possible that some younger muns, or muns who have otherwise been given cause to feel they are lesser than you because of your proper writing, might be intimidated by it. Part of that is also that proper writing, and verbal speech, can come off as lacking warmth. It can be impersonal, give fewer clues as to someone's tone when that's already lacking in writing that isn't descriptive, as in an RP thread itself.

Again, I always have a bit of an issue recommending someone change something vital about themselves, and one's mode of writing is that. However, you might want to consider giving way to some indicators of not being official in your OOC behavior toward others. It's something that I did, something I will admit I still struggle with as well. I'm not naturally inclined to add things like a :) or a xD because I have some problems conveying those things either correctly or organically in person. If I'm not either, literally, acting or feeling something intensely, I'm the grand master of resting bitch face no matter what I'm feeling.

As a quick on-the-safe-side interruption: people, please, I am aware that some forms of neurodivergence can exhibit in struggles with understanding and conveying tone, as can be the side effect of some medications and physical conditions. It’s possible that you have this difficulty, Anon, it’s possible that some of the people you have approached do. Advising how to work on understanding and conveying tone with these difficulties in mind is a huge post of its own, however. (Though, if people might be interested in it, I can add it to the list, of course.) All we can do is try our best, work on it, and if we know we have this issue, politely warn partners in your rules so they know you’re not coming off less emotive and warm intentionally. You’re not thinking yourself in an ivory tower above them. I so do not want to be bitched at about how advising someone in ways to be more approachable in text is ableist, just don’t. I don’t know you, Anon, so I don’t know what difficulties you may or may not have, if you do have some complication that is impacting this in your own opinion, please, just send another ask and I can work with that information more specifically!

It's also...it grates on my nerves when people text speak, I'm not going to lie. So, forcing myself to do anything too close to it feels like someone has separated the halves of my brain. I do it because it can make people more comfortable, I don't sound like a damn robot like I easily can when trying to explain something with a lot of specifics, for example.

What was easier was letting go of the inhibition of writing conversationally. That is always something that is advised against intensely, it isn't proper writing. Don't write like you speak, and all that. It's often been my inclination to write conversationally, even if I struggled to let the hell go and actually do it, and when I allowed myself to do so, people responded to it much better. It's something I get compliments on as a part of what can make my storytelling immersive, humorous, relatable, and frightening. (Just so that the last bit there isn't confounding - in addition to the professional writing that sometimes pays for my internet, I write horror lol...now y'all know! I deal in "freak shit," I'm sure.)

People responded to me much better. I still get that my writing is intimidating, but it tends to be over length and wording more than being wholly unapproachable. Too like trying to respond to a novel that most people would only listen to if it was about a character they were deeply into and read by an actor they were also deeply into. There seems to be a more natural engagement with the material for more people this way.

I'm only using this as an example of something I found that worked to some degree in making me more approachable, meant to say that there might be something that you would enjoy, unique to yourself, that would make your writing more approachable for more muns. I'm in no way recommending that you, or anyone else, try to go with what I did! That isn't going to work out for everyone, of course. It isn't everyone's solution in those specifics, just the idea that following what people have expressed they especially enjoy about your writing could be a good path.

Other things to consider:

When you have obtained a new partner who says this not in declining further interaction, but within a conversation or one of those interaction memes, especially if you are writing them a starter at this time, experiment with what you can do in your writing that makes it more approachable. I say “experiment” because this is another point of individuality, it's naturally going to vary like everything else.

Like I said above a few times, most people approach RP in terms of reaction. And, again too, that's part of RP. I didn't say it earlier because I felt like that was obvious, but after considering...how tumblr is, I probably should say it. It is necessary to have things to react to in order to build the interaction between muses and their world. I believe in the “yes, and�� method and having things to react to. My meaning by saying that people approach RP in terms of reactions was that people excessively do so. Their muses have trouble existing fully in their own right sometimes, they literally require multiple points of possible reaction.

So, give it to them while you’re figuring each other’s writing out.

When you're writing your starter or replies, give them what I call Actionable Points in unexpected places. For example, when your muse is doing as I said earlier, sitting in their chair, having Deep Thoughts they're not expecting any action within, give them something in the environment itself to interact with. Perhaps there is a pet, an insect, temperature change, or sound for their muse to notice.

He was still, as though the animating force of his very soul had flown. So entrapping were his thoughts that the ladybug making its way across the floor, technically before his eyes, escaped notice. No notice, even as it briefly took flight like a tiny, skipping stone across water, headed for where his attention would truly prefer to light as well.

Which would be, of course, the other muse in the room. They can't interact with the things in your muse's mind that you're revealing to the mun, but they can have their attention jump to the insect. They can also react to your muse’s facial expressions, most people make micro-expressions even while in thought, but this isn’t as active or available.

Just small, simple possibilities that make no difference to the immediate happenings in the thread. They can become things of great difference, that's half the fun of it! How something like a bug can alter the course of a thread's trajectory is really cool to see happen.

By doing this, feeding multiple Actionable Points into the reply, you're giving someone who feels intimidated by the thread's length and weight more points to feel active within it. If they can see themselves interactively within the text of the story, it's less intimidating I've found.

Eventually, people relax and start creating these points for themselves. They're now part of this story and its direction, so they organically see things within it. While their muse is in the room with the Chair Muse, they notice a ladybug on the floor themselves because they feel comfortable and confident enough to create that sort of realistic moment.

Most of my experiments of this nature have had that objective - make my writing partner feel more confident about their writing, muse, themselves. It either works out wonderfully, or...you can spoon-feed some people actions, ideas, and confidence forever without them ever taking up the spoon themselves (some people will totally miss the spoon every time, even). At the latter point, if they're still feeling unconfident about writing with you, "intimidated," it's never going to change. It might be better that this be addressed as something that simply isn't going to work out for either of you.

Because it can become tiresome to do this. Tiresome and disheartening, and you never want to set yourself up to feel like you've wasted your effort and energy. That's a great way to experience burnout and frustration.

Another thing to make yourself, and by nature of that, your writing, more approachable and available is to put out a decent variety of memes for people to send you and engaging in tagging games. Not only do these not need to be writing memes like starters, it's better that they are not! If someone is intimidated by you/your writing, they're not going to engage with a meme meant to begin a thread.

Reblog memes that are meant to be answered OOC like headcanon asks, writing asks, and asks about the mun. Do tag games with tests in them, bolding aesthetics or other information, and those that give details about the muse...or even yourself, there are Munday versions as well!

The point of doing this is to show people you want to interact with them, neither you nor your writing is scary and removed from the vox populi of the RPC. You're not someone with so much skill that you're above such common pursuits. You're just another RPer with the same things of interest as they do - enjoying yourself whether it's something silly like a quiz that tells you what coffee your muse would be or an in-depth headcanon. Just another mun who loves their muse and wants interactions with them.

This, too, is something I tried, and it might have been the most successful thing I did. It's even easier to do these days, as more muns don't just tag people outright, but rather, offer that anyone can take it, they just want to be tagged back so they can see the results. You don't have to wait for someone who neither knows you nor knows whether you'd be alright with being tagged to tag you in them anymore!

And as an aside, this is why I encourage that. I've seen some muns out there taking issue with it, thinking it lazy and less interactive for people to be forgoing tagging others in it. Yes, it is unfortunate that you might miss such a game from a mutual or friend, but you do realize you can go to their blog anytime? You can search their tag for these kinds of dash games, or scroll what you missed while you were away, and I recommend doing that anyway with close friends because tumblr's notifs are perpetually screwed.

It's not less inclusive, it's more so. I think it could even go a distance toward lessening the illusion that all friendships in the RPC are "cliques." Instead of the same five muns, none of whom are you, being tagged every time because they occur more quickly to the mun who interacts with them often, there is an open invitation for you to do it. It allows muns to be more visible to those they haven't established friendships with yet and allows others to put themselves out there as approachable and interested.

Alright, back on topic!

Send others these sorts of interactions when you see them. Unless someone has it in the tags or their rules that memes are only for established writing partners, send them an applicable meme.

Applicable, in this case, would be those OOC-answered memes. With most muns, it would be poor form to send in memes that are too personal. Such as sending someone you've never really spoken to, plotted with, etc. a particularly raunchy headcanon ask. I was going to give an example, but for the sake of keeping this SFW lol...we all know the sort of ask I speak of.

With some muns, this isn't an issue. Any excuse to talk about their muse is a good excuse, and they'd not have reblogged the meme if they did not intend for people to send it in. I know that I'm such a mun, and unless someone only ever sends me sexually explicit questions like this, I don't mind at all. It's just an aspect of my muse to detail in a HC.

Just exercise reasonable awareness - "read the room." If a mun seems to answer those questions from anyone, then it is alright to send them in. If they have established openness on these discussions, have nothing in their rules that would imply they'd be perturbed, etc. Conversely, if they've established such opposing behavior that you have to wonder why they posted this meme at all? Don't send anything from that one. They may be trying to establish greater comfort with these topics, but whether they realize it or not yet, they may not be ready for this to sent by anyone who isn't a very established writing partner/friend.

You want to be attracting good attention, demonstrating that you're not someone intimidating, not giving muns any reason to be disturbed by you. Even if they openly asked for it!

This brings us back to: no, really, a lot of things are out of your control.

How people view us isn't as up to us as we'd like, on or offline. Everyone has preconceived notions, biases, and developed preferences. And everyone has had experiences that lead them to react differently to all of these things where they do and do not exist.

Unfortunately, the RPC fosters a serious environment of paranoia, hostility, and the inherent defensiveness of both. Even when that is coming across more peaceably, it can lead to things like...the multiple muns I've known in the last two years alone that seem to almost panic and block potential partners for extremely negligible things they're perceiving as a red flag portending of inevitable bad behavior.

I really do mean irrational actions that are often contrary from one move to another. One potential partner is too exuberant in response to plotting, they are designated a red flag for being too inclined to pester OOC. Another is lacking exuberance and does not easily come up with plots, they are designated as being too passive a partner who will drop. One is too nice, they won't possibly be able to tell that mun of problems in the thread, another is too aggressive, they'll do nothing but stress the mun and fight with their friends. And on and on.

It's not an unreasonable situation, as we all continue to be reminded, the RPC is far more hostile than it should be for what it is. We all (that's not entirely true, but let us pretend it is) want to avoid problems and enjoy the hobby, but in the attempt to avoid those problems, we often see them where they are not.

So, you really cannot control whether someone designates you as being too much this, too little that, an inevitable problem. Your presentation is in the eye of the beholder, just as what "intimidating" is, is in the eye of the intimidated.

You can only try to identify the things that might be putting off the most people you want to write with, work on them when and where they will not ruin your time here, and hope for the best.

It's wonderful that you care, but it's also wonderful that you seem willing to accept that there are things you just have to let go of as already being out of your hands. That's honestly the best way to approach RP, period. The only things you are fully in control of are your own creativity and your behavior. That's it, in the end.

Present yourself with honesty as to who you are as a mun, be as approachable as you truly are, and know what you're looking for in writing partners.

Personally, from what little I have seen of you, Anon, there isn't anything that glaringly needs changing. You're not possessed of a shitty attitude or unrealistic expectations. You seem like a pretty reasonable mun to me who is struggling with something any of us who concentrate on the writing do; being vaguely told we're "intimidating," and seeking other partners who are interested in the same variety of RP we are.

That's my final point to touch on, and the one most likely to piss people off: there are different varieties of RP, and the people telling you this might be in the wrong corner for you.

That doesn't make them bad RPers or anything, variety is good, it's an open hobby! We're not all compatible, though, and so many problems arise from muns not accepting this reality, but rather, taking extreme offense over it.

No one I have ever established the sort of RP I enjoy most with has told me that I am "intimidating."

The people who have said this to me have been those who would not have worked out anyway. That's not said in some bizarre bitterness lol I have the best writing partners, I could not ask for anything more! It's just said in honesty of continuing to see them on my dash and/or interacting with friends. They blog and muse hop often, prefer the genres and fandoms I do not, and so on.

Changing to be less intimidating to those RPers would put me back where I started when joining the RPC here years ago, and while it's great that a lot of people enjoy RP the way they do, I don't. I worked rather hard to get away from it.

So, you do have to consider what you want. Do you want any partners, or do you want the right ones for you?

I'm genuinely glad that people are enjoying themselves, especially when they do not have hateful things to say about those who enjoy RP differently than themselves, but it'd be nice if some of the niches in the RPC were a bit wider! It shouldn't be this difficult to find people in a writing hobby who are invested in the writing, but it is. And it is something you should keep in mind when figuring out this whole "intimidating" thing.

So, my ultimate recommendation would be to assess whether there are things you can be doing to make you, as the mun, more approachable so that your writing is less “intimidating" to people within the RP corner you’re trying to attract, but consider whether the people who have said this to you might just be looking for different things and not as viable as partners as you might have liked. There are definitely more RPers on tumblr who do not enjoy RP in this way than there that do, and while the only thing you have control over is yourself, you don’t have control over how you and what you are putting out there is perceived.

I really do think that most of the “intimidation” problem comes from different varieties of RP and what muns have been led to believe about them. You check off a lot of boxes for the false perception of “elitism,” as a literate, long-term, novella RPer. People are going to see many things that you do in a threatening or off-putting light through no fault of your own because of that. Even other, lengthier writers can fall into that because they feel overwhelmed at the volume of content you have, for example. A thing that should be promising of how well-developed your muse is and how committed you are to your interest in them can come off as overwhelming to people who are less well established or interested in being around for the long game. I certainly don’t think it’s a good idea for you to remove that material or stop writing it! I cannot encourage people enough to do what you have!

Maybe, since you expressed concern of this specifically as well, you could consider how it is presented?

Do you have approachable formatting on those posts? Do they appear to be a lot of very plain text, or do you practice adding some graphics like a header and dividers, formatting that also breaks up the text like segmenting it into clear topics with bold, bigger text, and so on? Is it the opposite and potentially difficult to read, like using font that is smaller than the default small size available, or incredibly busy with colors? It’s a difficult balance, and one that will never be 100% appealing or accessible to 100% of the RPC, to make things visually appealing, easy to read, and informative while being engaging. It could be that you have information people would love to know, but the design of how you’re putting it out there is adding to them feeling overwhelmed.

Maybe, consider how it is placed on your blog, as well? Using specific tags for organization and having a detailed navigation might help. Instead of someone pulling up every one of your many HC posts in the HC tag you have, they could choose specific topics to view at their own pace with a little more control over it. Giving people some control in their experience can go a long way to giving them comfort in it!

So, let’s say you have a headcanon that addresses how your muse portrayal diverges from strict canon, and in that HC, it’s important to address their mental health and how it impacts their relationships with others. That’s a great HC, it’s going to be informative, but it has multiple topics within it. You’d want to tag it with the overall HC tag, a tag for your “player canon” topics, muse metal health discussions, and a general tag for your muse’s relationships/interactions with others.

When you do that, in your navigation, if someone clicked your tag-based link for all information pertaining to the muse’s mental health, they’ll just get that. They’ll see this headcanon post, they’ll see all relevant, tagged posts you’ve made or reblogged, but only that pertain to this topic. They won’t also get twenty extra posts that don’t discuss this, but do discuss your muse’s personal opinion on making bread at home and why sourdough is a labor of love. Unless, of course, your muse is partaking in that labor of love as an exercise that benefits their mental health, of course lmao

Delineating topics for people to engage with at their own pace, need, or interest can prevent them from scrolling through what could be hundreds of HC posts. We all desperately want people to read every one of our posts, especially if our portrayal is different from canon or popular fanon or we have an OC whose entire existence has to be learned this way, but we have to resist the temptation to make people read them all, and all at once. Because that is how it comes across when someone pulls up a ton of HCs - they may be super interested, but it’s a lot that they may put pressure on themselves to learn immediately, back to back to back. It begins to feel like a task quickly. Most people who are genuinely interested in your muse and writing are going to end up reading all of them eventually! If they don’t shut themselves down on doing so prematurely, and this could be a way of helping them avoid doing that.

Hell, if you’re really feeling it, you can even link to closely related posts and your navigation on those HC posts! Just mention at the top of the post that this is related to the one linked here, and to find more informative posts on any topic, please visit the navigation page here. You can even remind at the bottom of the post with just the links.

While like anything, it could make people feel you’re too organized and “serious” about RP, but you probably want other “too serious” RPers to interact with, so it might be a passive way of establishing partners that won’t work out. I think, for the right partners, an organized system they can interact with easily would be appealing, and again, a lot of people in the RPC do have problems that disrupt their ability to engage with a great deal of content at once. This might make them feel less overwhelmed and frustrated by themselves, or negative about themselves that they cannot but aspire to your level of content and organization.

Willing to bet that much of “intimidation” comes from negative feelings about oneself projected outward protectively and unconsciously, honestly. So, when you see ways to combat that, take it on. Make it clear that you’re not expecting anyone to be anything other than themselves, you appreciate your partners’ unique approaches and skills. The more of them you have, the more approachable you are proving yourself, too.

Since you are interested in long-term and have so much material on your muse, I have to assume this is a case of having gone on hiatus or had partners who have left. You could be appearing as less approachable because you’ve few interactions, and that’s a problem that will start correcting itself as you have more of them. If that’s the case, it may be adding serious frustration in the slow process of getting your foot back in the door, but I believe you can do it!

I hope people haven’t made you feel too anxious or bad about yourself by telling you you’re “intimidating,” Anon. Try not to internalize it or make into a more serious matter than it is! I really do think it has less to do with the RPer being told that than it does all these other factors, poor ability to express ourselves very much included. You’re interested in what you can do, willing to accept what you can’t do, overall approaching this from a chill and reasonable place, I think you’re going to find the people you need to with this attitude!

Keep at it, keep doing what you love, and my sincerest best of luck to you! Thank you for giving me the excuse to discuss this topic, it’s an important one that I hope made some difference to others out there as well. I apologize that took me a minute to get it out, and that it is still a bit more disjointed than I’d have liked.

[frozenprocedural]

Elsarik week, day 2!

Here's my submission for day 2! I wanted to create some sort of story behind this artwork I commissioned from @comickergirl.

Acquaintances

“Any success on the song?”

Elsa let out a sigh at Anna's question and rubbed her eyes, the mostly-blank staves of her sheet music seemingly burned into her retinas. She’d been fighting the song for weeks now- while the lyrics had practically written themselves, the tune continued to evade her.

"Nothing so far. I don't understand. I just can't hear a tune. I can't…" Something prickly and hot rose in her throat. Elsa threw the pencil aside and grabbed the paper, crumpling it and tossing it into the waste bin.

Anna stopped her when she reached for the lyric sheet. "Hey, no, leave that Els. It's been hard since Kai had to leave. Give it some time- it'll come to you."

The burning increased in her gut, and Elsa had to turn away. Kai had been with them for well over a decade. Beyond their accompanying pianist, he'd been a dear friend, helping both of them through the difficulties of establishing themselves as singers and songwriters. But with his wife falling ill, and his own age making it difficult to keep up with the job, he'd made the reluctant decision to retire.

And ever since then, Elsa had been stuck. The song lyrics had come easily enough, though she still had yet to choose a title, but nothing she tried seemed to work. Anna had helped, but both of them were quick to realize how much they'd relied on Kai and his inventive playing to create new works.

"I may have some good news. Kai was able to track down the guy he mentored… Hold on, I have his name somewhere…" Anna scrolled through her phone for several seconds, "Ah! Alarik! Alarik Geatland, that's his name. He'd been travelling, but he's interested in trying out."

Elsa shrugged. "It's worth a try, I suppose." She attempted to hide the disinterest in her voice. It wasn't that she was unaware they needed a new pianist, or how hard Anna was trying. But Elsa had always been withdrawn and slow to trust, and fitting new people into her life, even in what might only be a professional capacity, was difficult.

Anna's sad look was all she needed to know she'd been unsuccssful in keeping her tone neutral. Elsa forced herself to smile back, if only a little bit.

"I'm sorry, Anna, I know you're trying hard to make this happen. I'll keep an open mind, alright? When can he meet with us?"

"How does this afternoon sound?"

Too soon, Elsa wanted to say, but she nodded nonetheless.

………………

He was late.

Elsa was surprised to find she felt irritated at Alarik's tardiness, given how little she'd wanted the meeting. Nonetheless, she found herself tapping the edge of the chair and shifting in her seat.

Just as she was about to suggest they leave, the door to the studio burst open, admitting a tall lean man with a head of red curls flopping into his face. He was drenched, and Elsa realized it was pouring outside.

"I am so sorry!" he gasped, pushing his hair aside to reveal a sharp-featured face and bright green eyes. "I got a flat tire a few blocks from here, and had to run the rest of the way. If you are still willing to give me a chance to do so, I would still like to audition."

Anna was already standing, her smile wide. "Alarik, of course we will hear your audition. I'm sorry to hear you had trouble on the way, but you're here now, and that's what matters. I'm Anna, and that's my sister Elsa. Why don't you go ahead and play something for us?"

Elsa nodded, surprised to find herself almost… amused. Alarik's whole face lit up at Anna's words, with a wide grin that made him look boyish and young.

Alarik set aside his soaked jacket and went to the piano, lifting the key cover and sitting down. He closed his eyes, resting his hands on the keys for a moment, then began.

It was an old seafaring tune Elsa recognized from her childhood, simple enough in nature, but somehow, Alarik made it...more. He skillfully wove new harmonies and rhythms to create a masterful rendition that had Elsa tapping her foot and humming along, completely lost in the music. When he came to the last notes, she found herself wishing there was more.

Anna gave her a look, an eyebrow raised in question. Elsa nodded and stood, walking over to Alarik and offering her hand.

"Welcome to our group, Alarik."

Somehow, his smile was even wider than before.

…………

Despite their positive first meeting, it took Elsa time to become accustomed to Alarik's being there. To his credit, he gave her the space she needed, didn't try to engage her beyond what the job entailed. He and Anna got along almost right away, often laughing and joking. Even Kristoff, when he came in, tolerated Alarik's presence, although they spoke less to one another than Elsa spoke to Alarik.

And still, Elsa's song continued to evade her. With the upcoming tour looming, her frustration grew. She desperately wanted to perform it, but with each passing day, she was forced to accept it would not come to be.

It was after one particularly tough day, hot and muggy, with the air conditioning doing little to alleviate the oppressive atmosphere. With multiple failed attempts to gain traction with the tune, Elsa, fighting a growing headache, finally crumpled the paper and hurled it to the side with a growled “I can’t!”. Ignoring Anna’s outstretched hand and Alarik’s concerned look, Elsa found an empty room and entered, pressing her palms to her throbbing head.

She could just hear the murmured conversation between Alarik and Anna, although she couldn’t make out anything distinct. She heard retreating footsteps, then silence.

As she focused on her breathing, eyes closed, she heard a few tentative notes begin. Slow, spread out, the notes being teased out. Silence again, and then a lilting line began to play, a few notes standing out from the repeating pattern. Elsa listened, something hopeful growing in her chest. She stood, returning to the practice room to find her crumpled paper resting on the music shelf. Alarik was bent over the keys, and even without seeing his face, Elsa knew his eyes were closed. His head swayed back and forth, his fingers flying over the keyboard. The song had changed, sped up, the fingers of his left hand rolling over and over, invoking a feeling of running, of freedom.

“That’s it.” Elsa didn’t realize she’d spoken so loudly until Alarik stopped, turning to look at her with wide eyes. She shook her head, instinctively taking a step back. “I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“No, wait, please.” Alarik held his hand out. “Anna… Anna said you’d been working on this song. I’m sorry if I overstepped, but I wanted to try to see if I could tease something out. If you don’t want me to, I’ll stop.”

Elsa stopped, then stepped up to the piano, resting a hand on the edge. “Could… could you play the beginning again?”

Alarik grinned. “Of course.” He began to play once more, and it was Elsa’s turn to close her eyes, listening to the flow of the tune. With each rolling note, a melody began to form. She hummed it at first, then let the lyrics flow.

Every inch of me is trembling

But not from the cold….

…………….

No matter how many times she performed, Elsa always experienced a rush of nerves before stepping on stage. This time was no different, and she found herself nervously plucking at the fabric of her white dress. It was the final song of the night, after Anna and Kristoff’s duet.

“Hey,” She jumped, then turned to see Alarik. He wore a dark suit over a deep green shirt, his normally messy curls oiled and combed back. “Are you alright?”

“A bit nervous, that’s all.” He nodded.

“For what it’s worth, I know you’ll be fine. You’re amazing at this.” He flushed, looking away, but Elsa found herself smiling.

“So are you.” It was her turn to blush, but before she could say anything more, she heard their names being called, and the stage manager motioned them on. Before they stepped into the light, Alarik took her hand and squeezed it.

Elsa greeted the crowd, as she had done numerous times, and then nodded to Alarik, who was at the piano bench. He nodded back, then began.

The notes all but danced about her, and as she began to sing, Alarik’s playing wove masterfully around her, bolstering her sound without being overpowering, swelling as the bridge and final chorus echoed through the hall. As the final notes echoed throughout the hall, the audience surged to their feet, their applause thunderous. As they stepped back and made one final bow, Elsa glanced sideways at Alarik, surprised to feel a warmth growing within as she watched him, curls flopping in front of his face.

She found herself eager to see what more they would accomplish...together.

[kamari333]

I'm not sure if this has been asked before (sorry if it has). Lets say for example that when comparing two monsters one with LV20 and one with LT20; which is stronger? I mean sure LV is a persons ability to harm another, but LT came from a human soul, and humans are more powerful than monsters. Does that mean they would be on equal grounds, would they cancel each other out in a sense?

THIS IS A VERY GOOD QUESTION!!!

Lets compare LV to LT 1-to-1

(warning for mature themes)

LV (sometimes pronounced LOVE, an acronym for Level Of ViolencE) is a defense mechanism that occurs in the SOUL when said SOUL goes against the core principles of love, hope, and compassion that monster SOULs are made of and, presumably, human SOULs have as a basis (much like human brains have fish and lizard brains as a basis for functionality). It is described as “A way of measuring someone’s capacity to hurt.”

LV is built from the accumulation of EXP (EXecution Points). “A way of quantifying the pain you have inflicted on others. When you kill someone, your EXP increases. When you have enough EXP, your LOVE increases.”

“The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.” In lamens terms, its a defense mechanism so you don’t choke yourself on your own guilt, don’t become crushed from the sins crawling on your back.

LV is a natural occuring chemical (for lack of a better word even though souls aren’t really biological and therefore don’t actually have chemistry in the scientific sense) reaction to help a SOUL keep going when circumstances push it to behavior contrasting its nature. Its not something that you would expect everyone to have, but sometimes extenuating circumstances make it necessary (more among humans than monsters). However, large quantities can cause behavioral abnormalities and expedite self destruction.

LV naturally comes with an increase in STATS (with the exception of HP and DEF, as I headcanon these two being tied more to the perception of health and wellbeing of a soul on itself, and while LV can and often does increase them as a byproduct, it can also decrease them).

Some people theorize that LV is related to DETERMINATION, such as being an evolutionary predecessor or having a common ancestor in terms of purpose, however SOUL studies have yet to determine the validity of these theories.

Next we have LT. With the Underlust creator gone thanks to the purge, I only have my headcanons to go off of now and not a lot was explored that I found.

I actually went over this a bit before, a while back, but I’ll recap:

LT (sometimes pronounced LUST, an acronym that stands for Level of UnreSTraint), is a chemical (again, because there is no better word) deriving from the human trait PERSEVERANCE. It is closely tied to the biological imperative for copulation and reproduction, as well as human stamina. Its basically the thing that the human soul, being more complex so as to mirror and maneuver the equally complex biological body humans possess, focuses on (again, the best word for the Things It Do because we don’t really have precise language for the activities of SOULs) when the body does its thing. The whole ‘continuing the propagation of DNA’ thing seems like a thing that PERSEVERANCE would oversee, so that my HC on the matter.

Anyway, LT is a derivative of PERSEVERANCE that focuses on copulation, specifically mating. However, it focuses on mating in any capacity, not just for the purposes of reproduction (to its discoverer’s great despair and irritation). So, when administered to non-biological creatures like Monsters, it becomes a whole new skill tree, a whole new STAT that they never would have had otherwise because it only naturally occurs in biological creatures.

LT is also a defense mechanism that occurs in the SOUL when said SOUL goes against its core principles. I suppose it could be described as “a way of measuring someone’s capacity to sin.”

‘Sin’ here meaning ‘to engage in coitis.’ However there hasn’t been a proper study to see if it affects other behavior, so thats up in the air right now.

LT is built from the accumulation of DEX (Debauchery EXperience). “A way of quantifying the desire you have satisfied through others. When you indulge yourself, your DEX increases. When you have enough DEX, your LUST increases.”

The more you indulge, the easier it becomes to accept yourself. The more you accept yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to do it again. In this way, it is also a defense mechanism against the sins crawling on your back. It is a defense mechanism against shame towards your own behavior.

This can be a good thing, or a bad thing. Shame can easily be misplaced and cause a person unnecessary pain (there is nothing wrong with having a thing for feet, or liking a bit of consensual spanking). But it can also be your conscience telling you not to do something that is very very wrong (like creep on minors or press an unwilling partner into indulging your wim). Sometimes its hard to tell the difference between the two. LT can be used to mute that unnecessary shame, but in monsters, whose souls are far less complex and compartimentalized, it can behave much like LV and compromise their core traits of love, hope, and compassion as well. I mean, it can do that in humans too, but I like to think humans have no excuse because this is a natural part of human SOUL anatomy so we as humans should be able to control it.

LT also increases STATs, much like LV does

SO THATS WHAT THEY ARE!! NOW LETS LOOK AT WHAT THEY DO

LV tends to increase ATK, DEF, and HP, (though DEF and HP indirectly rather than directly). It often increases magical reserves in monsters as well, but does not increase stamina or speed by itself. In some cases, increase in LV does not affect HP or DEF in monsters, just like regular exercise and practice can increase monster STATs without EXP.

LT increases stamina and magical reserves, as well as speed. It indirectly increases ATK, DEF, and HP, as it incourages behavior and habits which would naturally grind a monster’s STATs, and gives them the energy to perform for far longer. Higher tiers of LT (usually those LT10+) start to see direct stat boosts to their STATs similar to LV.

So… lets look at the tiers, or levels (for lact of a better word)

Tier 1 monsters (LV1 and LT1) are at the same place.

Tier 2 monsters see an immediate advantage for LV builds (so LV2 > LT2)

That advantage stays up pretty well until Tier 10, when the LT builds start to catch up exponentially.

Tier 11-15 is where the two builds level out again, depending on the individual classes.

Tier 16 sets LT builds ahead of LV builds in terms of stamina, reserves (mana), speed, and HP (again depending on class deviation), but still give LV an advantage in terms of ATK. The DEF stat is pretty even.

After tier 16, the end result is usually up to the individual. Probably they will be evenly matched by Tier 20, but their builds are very different and the winner in a fight would be a matter of circumstance.

You just can’t compare Tanks to Assassins tbh

[girl-traeger]

Listen, fam. I'm coming out.

Look, I've been working on the best way to do this for a while. I had a whole long thing typed up & I kept re-writing it for months. But I think I'm just gonna get to the point. I'm coming out. I identify as pansexual. What is pansexuality, you ask? Well, it basically means that I feel attraction to anyone, regardless of their gender. Cis men & women, trans men & women, agender folks, demigender folks, etc. If you've never heard of pansexuality before, lemme hit you with that Wikipedia link real quick to help you out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality . Pansexuality is pretty adjacent to bisexuality & often gets confused for it. However, the two are slightly different in that bisexuality is attraction to two or more genders & pansexuality is attraction to anyone of any gender. A couple things to note real quick before we continue: 1. Pansexuality doesn't mean that you're attracted to EVERYONE you see. It simply means that your capacity to feel attraction isn't primarily based on gender. 2. If you make any jokes about having sex with pans, you're officially a cornball. I'm just giving you a heads up, is all. Sorry but I don't make the rules. So the thing you might be wondering is how I figured this out. To be honest, I'm still trying to figure out how I could go 29 years without knowing this about myself. But every time I think back, there is one element of my past that explains why it took so long. Growing up in a predominantly conservative christian home, the idea of being gay or anything close to it was a non-starter. It was a sin & a heavily condemned one, at that. As a result, any time a "gay thought" would pop up in my head, I tried to get it out of there as quick as possible. It became an instant reflex to keep that kind of thought out of my head. But I still would feel guilt for the thought, as well as guilt from "lusting" for women. My teens were a confusion time where I was discouraged from even considering an attraction for another gender while also being told I was TOO attracted to the "right" gender. Not a great situation, emotionally. Unfortunately, I suspect it's not an uncommon occurrence for kids growing up in strict christian homes. That said, I felt more comfortable exploring attraction & affection towards cisgendered women (even if it led to "sin" or whatever ugh) mainly because it was instilled in me by conservative christian culture that being gay was worse in the eyes of both God & the church congregation than sleeping with a woman before marriage. If you did that, the church congregation would murmur about you for a bit & engage in some form of slut-shaming hidden under the guise of "asking god for forgiveness." If you were gay? That was a disease. A sinful disease. You'd be quarantined, or ostracized, from that community unless they had the "grace" to help you get therapy to pray the gay away. So, being a massively horny but perpetually nervous teen, I chose to guiltily explore attraction to cis women & push everything else out. In college, my views on both religion & sexuality became more liberal. I no longer thought of being gay as a sin disease (although Sin Disease is a good name for a metal band, now that I think about it). This trend continued after college & beyond, to the point of total acceptance & support for the LGBTQIA community. Folks were gay (including several friends of mine) & that's cool. But I never thought about it for myself. I never allowed myself to really consider the possibility that I could be attracted to anyone else because I always struck the thought down when it popped up in my head. Even though I was no longer religious, I still carried that reflex I learned as a child years ago. The reflex that conservative Christianity taught & encouraged within me. I guess what I'm saying is that religious suppression is a powerful thing. And that only started to unravel for me late last year. I can't point to one thing that started the unraveling process because it really was a culmination of a bunch of different things (such as talking with some cool queer folks about their experiences & finally allowing myself to let in/process non-heteronormative thoughts). It was in late January where I first admitted out loud to one of my roommates that I was beginning to think that I wasn't actually straight. It was really hard for me to find the words for how I felt. None of the established labels (gay, bi, etc) felt 100 percent accurate for me. She actually helped point me toward the idea of pansexuality, which seemed closer to how I felt (I would later talk to some cool queer folks who helped verify some information about pansexuality, where it fit in the rainbow, etc). And a weird thing happened that night. I felt a weight lift off of me. It happened almost instantly. It was like a weight that I never knew was there. And I started crying. Was this what I was carrying with me for 29 years? Was that reflex to kick the idea of anything queer out of my head keeping this weight on me? Even now, with the large amounts of stress/worry that I feel on a day-to-day basis, I think about all of this & it feels like a bright spot in an otherwise dark world for me. Like, the world is going to shit, but I finally figured out this important truth about myself. Anyway, that's a lot of words up there. And I'm not done! I still need to tell you why I'm saying all of this! But I know this has been a long read, so feel free to run to the bathroom if you need to. It occurred to me that I might not be the only one in this situation. If conservative christian culture was able to burrow that repressive reflex that deep into me (so deep that it lasted years after I left the church), it had to do the same to other folks. Maybe there's someone reading this that hasn't even allowed themselves to consider their sexual identity. Maybe someone's reading that's just starting to ask some questions about their identity. If so, I want to tell you that it's okay to question & explore that side of yourself, even if you don't really have a name for it yet. I certainly didn't know what to call myself at first, other than "not straight". You're 100% not alone in this. I'm out here with you, grasping at bits of truth, filling in the gaps, & trying to find answers but feeling so much more free in the journey than I ever did in the comfort of what I knew. If you are in that situation, there are a lot of good resources to help you fill in the gaps & answer some of those lingering questions. If you have a friend in the LGBTQIA community, don't be afraid to ask them about their own experience. Talking with folks who had an experience coming to grips with their own queerness helped me quite a bit, even when our experiences were different. It's just nice to know you're not some unsolvable mystery & that this this thing (whatever you end up calling it) is a very positive thing. If you live in a big enough city, you probably have an equality center that provides resources, access to affordable counseling, support groups, & social events (where you can meet other folks within the community). If your city doesn't have something like that, there are online resources that can help as well. Here's a link for the GLBT National Help Center, in case you're in that situation: http://glbtnationalhelpcenter.org . Hopefully that ends up being helpful to anyone who needs it. It's 2018 & while there have been massive strides in LGBTQIA rights/visibility, there are still many ways in which members of the community are harmed & discriminated against (spearheaded largely by our current administration). We're not in a time where everyone everywhere can feel 100% safe openly exploring their sexual and/or gender identity. I'm a huge dummy in many respects, but if some of the information in this post helps someone feel less alone or points them in the right direction, then it'll be worth it. I realize that there are folks I know who hold more conservative views. They'll probably read all of this (or like, just the first two paragraphs lol) & decide I'm heading straight to hell. If they're being generous, they'll say that they're "praying for me" & pity me as another lost soul. Which, whatever. I'll be fine. If anything, I feel more free than I ever did repressing such a big part of myself. Plus, these are people who voted for Trump (& if they didn't, they are still largely okay with the gay-hating coward Mike Pence). So we're not gonna see eye-to-eye on this no matter what. 🤷‍♂️ Also they can fuck off. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ I guess that's all I have to say. If you stuck around & read all of this, I appreciate you indulging me as I tried to fumble around explaining myself. It's been about 5 months since I first came out to my roommate & I'm happy to finally share the good news with y'all. I'm going to my first ever Pride parade soon. It'll be my first time around a large gathering of queer folk. I normally don't really like being out in large groups (nor do I love highly corporate-sponsored events, which this surely will be). That being said, I'm really excited! I seriously can't wait for this. Probably because it feels like finally being united with a group you never knew you were a part of. It's an event specifically celebrating the idea that it's cool & good to be queer, to be part of this rainbow. For the first time in a long time, it feels like I'm moving in the right direction.

[pridesofblack]

Sorry Marvel, I'm Not Watching Two Entire TV Shows To Understand Doctor Strange 2

I'm sick of making sense of how to adjust my checkbook to make sure I can keep or potentially procure Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, HBO Max, CBS All Access, Apple TV, and, most as of late, Disney+. At the point when it was declared that WandaVision, Loki, Falcon and the Winter Soldier, and a few other new Marvel shows are headed soon, it's hard not to let out an exasperated murmur. Particularly when it was declared that we have to watch them to comprehend up and coming blockbusters like Doctor Strange 2. As everybody and their corporate-accommodating sibling is hoping to get into the spilling game, we're veering perilously close into content over-burden. The quantity of spilling administrations giving unique substance at the present time — or promising to discharge unique substance on their imminent gushing administrations — is astoundingly high. There is no real way to stay aware of everything out there, and I'm drained. As Marvel Studios Chief Creative Officer Kevin Feige noted in a meeting not long ago, individuals should stay aware of in any event two or three the Marvel appears on Disney+ so as to pursue the course of events set out in MCU Phase 4. In particular, Feige noticed that the occasions in WandaVision and Loki, for example, will play a submit forthcoming blockbusters, incorporating Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. For certain fans, there will be no complaints. It's more Marvel content, they'll state, and more is always better, in their view. More capacity to them. On the off chance that they need to stay aware of everything and anything that is set to be discharged by this media aggregate, that is thoroughly fine. I'm not here to offend anyone or let them know not to watch these pristine shows. I'm not against the new Disney+ Marvel appears. I'm eager to see She-Hulk, for example, and I'm fiercely inquisitive to discover how they'll make an interpretation of Moon Knight to the screen. Yet, in my view, by making watchers see these shows are pre-essentials for what will occur in the realistic universe, Marvel is fundamentally anticipating that watchers should do schoolwork to make sure they can go out to see the films without feeling lost. Notwithstanding staying aware of the 20 or more films in their all-encompassing true to life universe, the makers additionally need watchers to observe considerably more long stretches of substance just to remain conscious of the world inside the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Its unimportant idea is debilitating. Now and then, you want to put down your foot and essentially state, "No." Throughout everyday life, you need to pick your fights. This is one fight I should battle. Perhaps I'll alter my perspective sometime in the not too distant future. Perhaps the trailers for Loki and WandaVision will persuade me to look at them. However, for the time being, I should state, I would prefer not to watch a lot of shows to make sure I can comprehend the plot for Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. I have an actual existence to live, in all honesty. I don't need it to be filled solely with Marvel content.

The Desire To Make Marvel's Disney+ Shows A Necessity Is Taxing

At last, it's conceivable that Kevin Feige's words were misinterpreted. It's conceivable that the head maker of Marvel implied that, with the end goal for fans to have a full comprehension of the films ahead, they'll have to comprehend what's going on with Loki or Scarlet Witch in the spilling appears. That would propose that, for example, there may be a couple of scenes where you go to your pal and ask them what the heck that implied, yet else, you can pursue the plot alright. That is what I'm seeking after, in any event. In any case, in the event that it truly expects everybody to get a Disney+ membership and watch a long time of gushing TV to make sure they can know the complexities of Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness … I'm heartbroken, yet that is a difficult task. Films aren't intended to be conditions. You shouldn't require many separate factors so as to pursue the plot. The delight of going out to see the films is that you can place the world in your rearview reflect for a couple of hours and become involved with an intense, unique vision or cleared into our very own world outside. All things considered, except if you're viewing a narrative, obviously. By and by, in the event that you make it a command for watchers to stay aware of each new Marvel shows that is accessible on Disney+, the makers will definitely confine whatever steady commitment watchers can have with their most up to date blockbusters. As I said previously, there will clearly be people who'll eat up anything Marvel puts out decisively. In any case, that ought to be the special case, not the standard. I never watched a solitary scene of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or then again Agent Carter, and that didn't keep me from understanding the plot of Avengers: Infinity War or Avengers: Endgame. Because the artistic universe is presently making a jump into the universe of gushing substance doesn't implied that watchers should naturally be stuck into all the guaranteed demonstrates just to remain over everything that is going on the big screen. It feels exceptionally burdening to me.

This Decision Feels Like A Ploy To Get People To Buy Disney+

Tune in, Disney is a monster enterprise. This is anything but a mystery and it shouldn't be a disclosure. Making cash is the main concern for this combination, plain and straightforward. They will take the necessary steps to get individuals' cash streamlined into the pockets. Regardless of whether it's interminable product, an all-encompassing history of discharging direct-to-DVD spin-offs, endless special endeavors for their items, also indecent endeavors to play into individuals' sentimentality, or what-have-you, Disney needs to have your cash in their grasp. That is the manner in which it has consistently been; Disney+ is essentially another layer of paint in this progressing procedure. Recall the Disney Vault? Disney+ is the following development of the Disney Vault, in numerous regards. This should go to nothing unexpected. All things considered, Kevin Feige telling individuals that watching the Marvel appears on Disney+ is for all intents and purposes a necessity for their forthcoming motion pictures feels like a grimy ploy to get individuals to become tied up with their spilling administration. Why settle for your exhausting ole' Netflix membership when you can get Disney+ and stay aware of Marvel's most recent stream of new shows. It contains every one of the subtleties you NEED to know for the following Marvel motion picture. Assume out your praise card or sign on the primary concern. It feels in an exposed fashion straightforward. What's more, once more, that is the same old thing for Disney. However, it doesn't try feel any less pessimistic either. Saying this doesn't imply that that the gushing shows were structured exclusively to sell stock or get individuals to purchase a goliath company's spilling administration. However, it's hard not to feel like these tycoons need individuals to toss as a lot of their well deserved money their way as they're willing to give so as to keep their cash shower streaming. This statement from Kevin Feige propose that the rewarding organization needs Marvel to stay productive through additional costs. Possibly my promise to the brand isn't sufficient? Perhaps I'm not a large enough Marvel head to welcome the plentiful blessing given to us? However, it is difficult for me to see Kevin Feige's words as something besides a ploy to get individuals to buy in to one more spilling administration to keep benefits up.

It Feels Like Marvel Is Trying To Dictate My Viewing Habits

In our period of steady substance, it's difficult to look over the weeds and make sense of what to watch. However, an excellent aspect concerning our advanced day-and-age is that you have a plentiful stream of films and demonstrates accessible to you at the pinch of a catch. You ought to be excused on the off chance that you haven't had the opportunity to watch The Americans, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, or Fleabag since there is so a lot of good stuff out there, in what manner can you single out what you watch? (Be that as it may, genuinely, you should watch Fleabag. It's extraordinary. Just sayin'.) Everyone has their very own selection of shows to watch. No one ought to be compelled to observe any one show in light of the fact that, truly, how might you be relied upon to stay aware of everything accessible out there? It's unthinkable. By and by, Marvel is attempting its damnedest to make its substance the terminology of the 21st century. Maybe it as of now is? Be that as it may, regardless, the craving to constrain watchers to watch its gushing shows in the event that they need to have a legitimate comprehension of the up and coming MCU motion pictures makes it feel like Marvel is allotting the world schoolwork. Turn in your TV report before the week's over. Saying this doesn't imply that that the new shows won't engage or charming in their own right. In any case, it's difficult to marshal up certified eagerness for new shows that feels like a necessity instead of good, restful excitement. Once more, I'm truly anticipating watching She-Hulk, Moon Knight, and What If? at whatever point I get an opportunity to look at them. I'm not out and out restricted to WandaVision, Loki, or The Falcon and the Winter Soldier on head either. In any case, when you have a maker telling individuals that they should watch something to comprehend something different, that strikes me as a business endeavor to sell their spilling administration as opposed to a persuading want to get individuals to look at their gushing shows. I lean toward the choice of deciding to watch these TV arrangement without making them feel like prerequisites. These are only a couple of the reasons why I'm not especially energized about Marvel's prospective run of gushing shows on Disney+. By and by, I don't have anything against the shows themselves. I need to watch a couple of them, and I'm willing to be convinced to look at different ones. In any case, if Disney is going to cause it to appear as though it is coercively feeding its substance down our throats, I have the tendency to spit it pull out. So no, I want to watch these new gushing shows out of corporate interest. On the off chance that that implies I'm going to be lost when it comes time to watch Doctor Strange 2, so be it. Read the full article