#but I thought it may be hard to explain without a visual

[toffeebrews]

I have this hc that when error gets emotional and glitches, sometimes it stretches like those stretch glitches you see in video games.

[asukaindetroit]

I am obsessed with the way Connor sometimes talks out of/only smiles with one side of his mouth. He is so weird and strange and I don’t see anyone talking about this particular idiosyncrasy of his. Do you have any thoughts o wise one???

Thank you for my very first ask—and the compliment! (You can't see it through the screen, but I am officially flailing in rabid fandom glee.) I have two ideas that may explain what you're talking about, actually. First off, Bryan DeChart has stated that some of the things he did as Connor were meant to be imitations of things Connor saw a human character do earlier and tried to mimic (presumably this is part of his "human integration" programming). For instance, he said the infamous slap-the-table "28 stab wounds!" moment is a deliberate echo of Hank smacking the table in frustration a few moments before. So there's always a possibility that he saw someone half-smile at some point and is trying to do like the humans do (and not quite getting it right—poor guy, he's trying so hard!) But—and this is the explanation I'm leaning towards and have alluded to before—Connor is essentially the "two wolves" story wrapped up in a character. There's a duality to him we don't see with Markus or Kara, who both pretty much deviate right after they're introduced and don't look back (or else their story ends/they die). I think what we're seeing is a reflection of the inner conflict that Connor experiences as the game progresses. There's two paths for Connor, machine and deviant, but even leading up to that pivotal choice, he's increasingly realizing that both those Connors are inside him at all times—what Connor-the-machine wants is not what Connor-the-person wants, and even after he chooses to deviate, he's still a machine capable of accomplishing his mission (i.e killing guards at CyberLife Tower)—or, in the machine path, there are still moments of genuine emotion (i.e. he can choose to spare Hank for no logical reason even when he gets in the way of The Mission). And I think the times we see him making half-expressions is something of a visual indicator of his mind sending out conflicting signals, pushing against the red wall without breaking through, or second-guessing whether the response he's programmed to make is really the correct one, or the one he wants to make.

[thegradus2]

The whole thing about OG Ericcale: I’m sure this wont end up being longer than my college essays 😊

Hello everybody I would like to explain briefly why I like these characters so much together, the different ways to interpret them and why they need to fuck nowww

As some of you may know I have been going insane for a long time now and I have been unable to even THINK about any other ship. It’s even become hard to focus on any other character without this two being involved in the background. Let us not mention the last time when I truly cared about another fandom other than this novel. Maybe Deltarune and Swatches big hot boobs will fix me.

Shout out and a cry for help to abralhugres on Ao3 for writing “mistakes were made”. Some may remember I used to love OG Cale x Alver Crossman, but when my fave writer disappeared like the avatar I decided to try random other couples and abralhugres writing Eric Whilsman at his most toxic with a more dependant OG Cale like that changed my brain chemistry. Will get more into the type of dynamic that is the toxic version of them in the section “different interpretations”, as we haven’t seen that much of either of them and you can do a lot of things with them because of it.

This will be my first post where I attempt to add a “read more” 😊. Anyway, let’s dive into

Who are these guys to me

I’m starting off with Eric Whilsman, as we actually see him for a bit in the manhwa (and I’m a very visual person who needs visual cues to see what someone is like (Also yes I will be using the official translation for his name)).

Eric is a stubborn guy who is determined to achieve his goals. What this ends up meaning for him and OG Cale is that he never gives up on OG Cale and is pretty loyal to him and their friendship – but also that he nags him. We know from canon that Eric would send letters to OG Cale with advise and trying to get him to be less (self)destructive. The moment he thinks he succeeded he was overjoyed, the moment he thought Cale was hurt he freaked out and he tried to protect him and get him to safety the entire time during the terrorist attack. Clearly, he cares, and he cares a lot!

He also got rid of Neo Stolz which. Yay. <3

Eric is stated to be an anxious person who prefers to think through every possible thing that could go wrong so he can plan through it and avoid failing. This makes him a lovable relatable overthinking guy and I love him so much. He is very prim and proper especially in public and overall just has the look of a smart, above average noble (as most nobles in this world are freaks he is above average instead of just average). Just a normal guy!! We love a normal guy!!

“He is the type of person who gives respect where respect is due and does not judge others based on rumors but on how they treat him.” <- VERY INTERESTING PIECE OF INFORMATION FROM THE ERIC WHILSMAN WIKIPAGE.

OG Cale Henituse:

There are infinite ways to interpret this character. Most depictions in fanworks of OG Cale are when he is 18, as that is his body’s age at the beginning of the story. The only canon interaction we directly experience with OG Cale is when he is 40 years old, has just experienced 20 years of war, and lost all the people we have seen in the story. We also have speculation by KRS!Cale and small comments from others on the OG Cale but that’s it! So! We are interpolating and extrapolating here to get any sense of it all. Some key points for my interpretations:

I think it’s safe to say OG Cale lacks care towards himself or where or what he ends up being.

He decided to do this to protect his step family. His plan is to be alcoholic trash forever until he is disowned, though he knows when to tone it down so his family’s name isn’t sullied.

Eric is one of the only people he canonically lets

Headcanons I have:

I think the trash act is also subconsciously perchance a way of punishing himself, because there were a million other ways this could’ve been handled but instead he decided to go the most self destructive route possible.

I don’t think he is regularly shown affection so like. Touch starvation isn’t out of left field here.

Reasons I want them together

Eric Whilsman is one of the only people who canonically was close to OG Cale!! They were hyung and dongsaeng and those terms aren’t really used lightly!! (Especially not by people with OG Cale and Erics personalities and history). The way their relationship was prior to the transmigration, at least the parts we can read between the lines, could easily be developed into any type of romantic or queerplatonic relationship. CAN YOU IMAGINE GUYS? AN OG CALE SHIP WITH CANONICAL SUBSTANCE? THAT HAPPENS VERY RARELY YOU PEOPLE KNOW THIS.

Some people who are STUPID may think childhood friends to lovers is boring and they are WRONG AND STUPID AND HERE IS WHY. No matter how their relationship developes they have shitton of baggage they need to work through together which makes for an interesting plot! To get OG Cale to even stop lying about his feelings to Eric for a moment would be a colossal moment. Eric has seen OG Cale at his best, his worst and has in some sense been there for almost every little bit of trauma OG Cale has experienced (Aka dead mom mostly) EXCEPT for the one part that becomes the reason why OG Cale is the way he is. Can you imagine Eric just wondering why he isn’t getting through to his dongsaeng? Trying interventions, just being patient and waiting it out, sending letters and nothing working because he doesn’t really know? Imagine the various plots that could lead to Eric finding out, or maybe never finding out, or OG Cale wants to tell him or maybe he doesn’t want to tell him at all. He could either eventually push him away entirely and they could meet again years later or try to somehow juggle keeping Eric close while getting worse and worse. The possibilities for angst are fucking endless here and I haven’t even touched on the fact that canonically, for the fourty year old OG Cale we see as Heniroksoo, his Eric is fucking dead.

A couple of ways to interpret them

Eric can be a nagging person who tries to look out for OG Cale, while he secretly enjoys watching OG Cales antics. OG Cale of course pretends like Eric bothers him while liking the attention as it is one of Erics showing OG Cale he cares. You can imagine Eric gently talking to OG Cale after one of his public “outbursts”, with OG Cale having to act like he meant it while enjoying Eric being gentle with him at the same time. Eric can be more desperate to keep OG Cale under control in public while OG Cale intentionally riles Eric up, acting extra bratty, until Eric has had enough for the night and drags him away. SEXUAL TENSION. OG Cale is really eager to get to the final straw without overdoing the act.

Best friends dynamic where OG Cale is less bad when it’s just the two of them, more noticeably soft, and Eric is just generally worried about him and wants to kiss it all better. They do dumb teenager stuff at one point where they practice kissing and afterwards every time they see eachother it’s just stuck in the back of their minds.

You ever wonder how Deruth ended up with Jour Thames? How about freaky attracts shockingly normal guy who is secretly into the freakiness. Anyway Eric and OG Cale being freaky x shockingly normal guy part 2 and everyone who knew Jour and Deruth as a couple are just like “oh fuck it’s genetic”.

Eric being really horny for OG Cale (for obvious reasons, have you seen him the first chapters without clothes?) and OG Cale in demisexual fashion let’s Eric hit because he really likes him. This grows into genuine confessions during sex.

The toxic version of them where Eric is a little bit possessive of OG Cale and a bit controlling and an OG Cale who kind of craves any type of stability subconsciously (because Deruth is literally the opposite of any kind of authoritarian parent to OG Cale to the point of being a little neglectful) so he kind of likes it when Eric orders him around a little. OG Cale is dependant on Eric but due to his persona doesn’t let it show in the slightest and is afraid of Eric having enough of him one day (but don’t worry, they’re both mentally ill freaks who have latched onto eachother so this would never happen <3) In my personal mental catastrophe, aka the fic by abralhugres, they are sort of like this except worse because Eric has this internalized homophobia going on where he doesn't realize he actually loves Cale and is being a slutty frat bro to impress him, and Cale thinks Eric is using him as a sex toy but let's him because "it's okay if he uses me because I really love and care about him <3 yay <3"

OG Cale liking Eric since they were kids because he’s a good judge of character and Eric slowly falling in love with Cale over the years because feelings of being supposed to take care of Cale as his hyung grow into wanting to really just keep him safe (also from his own behaviour) and one day he realizes it would be really easy to do that if they were always together.

And of course. Most importantly. Eric calls OG Cale a good boy in all of these. Thank you for coming to my Essay.

[topazadine]

A Primer on Dyscalculia: The Learning Disorder You Weren't Told About in School

I rarely see people discussing this learning disability, to the point that many believe it doesn't exist (ie, saying math is the universal language and everyone understands it but just doesn't try) so I thought I'd explain a bit about what it is.

Dyscalculia is a learning disability characterized by difficulty with math, numbers, and some systematic learning that requires the use of memorization and application. Like its relative, dyslexia, it is not that someone is "stupid" or "not trying hard enough" to learn math; our brains are essentially wired not to absorb information in this form.

Common symptoms of dyscalculia include:

Inability to do basic math problems

Struggling to count, often using their fingers to count

Difficulty using multiplication and division

Challenges with visualizing heights, lengths, and widths

Difficulty counting change

Struggling to read a clock or divide time into reasonable measurements

Challenges with memorizing numbers, dates, and sequences

No one is actually sure how many people have dyscalculia because it is rarely diagnosed. Right now, estimates are around 3% to 7% of the population, but this is likely a vast underrepresentation.

Educators still believe the myth that everyone can do math and that those who say they can't are just refusing to apply themselves. This causes lifelong problems for dyscalculiacs because if not treated early enough, it is nigh-on untreatable.

Many people with dyscalculia may complete math problems in unusual and time consuming ways. For example, if you asked me to divide 145 by 5 without a calculator, this is how my brain would have to do it:

100 by 5 (20)

20 by 5 (4), then multiply this by 2 (8), then divide 5 by 5 (1)

And finally, add up all the results (20+8+1) to get 29.

Numbers that are not easily divisible or "chunked" like this would be nigh-on impossible for me to do in my head. I wasn't able to memorize the times tables and in fact needed a laminated times table well into elementary school (think 5th grade).

I distinctly remember feeling like everyone else was on the helm of the USS Enterprise when they could so easily shout out answers to simple multiplication or division problems, and I was always the last person to do those stupid times table sheets. Sometimes I couldn't even complete half of it by the time everyone else was done.

I failed 3rd grade math class and had to be assigned a tutor. This was despite getting all As in every single other class. In fact, I failed multiple math classes during my academic career.

Since my grades were so high in other classes, I had to petition to be put in a remedial math class. Everyone assumed that because I did well in things like English, science, civics, and so on, I must have been able to do what my peers could.

A college-level physics class was the hardest class I have ever done in my life, and I have a Master's degree in International Relations, which requires a lot of very dry and complicated political theory. That is the A I am most proud of because it required far more effort than anything before or since.

No one told me what dyscalculia was or identified a problem throughout my entire time in education. I had to seek out resources myself in adulthood before finally learning what my problem was. This, of course, led to significant "math fear" and self-esteem issues, especially in a society that is obsessed with STEM.

This learning disability can have far-reaching effects and impact things that other people may not even consider. There are many connections between systematized learning and math.

Dyscalculiacs may also have trouble with:

Learning languages

Playing musical instruments (because sheet music and tempos are a form of language + math, though it is possible to learn by ear)

Reading maps, including general world geography

Estimating distances

Navigating a new place because they can't make "mental maps"

Dancing (due to the sequencing)

Reading diagrams

Remembering step-by-step instructions without a cheat sheet

Completing complex tasks that have a lot of steps

Starting a project that necessitates doing things in a certain order, such as building something

Cooking or baking (because it requires measuring and matching measurements to specific ingredients)

Repeating sequences, like a phone number

Remembering numbered streets or highways (like I-480, 5th street, or etc)

Playing games that require counting or keeping score, like Yahtzee, card games, and so on

Completing spreadsheets with numbers

Of course, not every dyscalculiac will struggle with all of these things because there are different degrees of severity. Many also learn tactics to compensate. For example, I never learned sheet music but did well in choir because I memorized all the songs entirely by ear.

I have developed visualizations of common routes I travel and can navigate to them by remembering the landmarks I pass. If you tried to ask me specific step-by-step directions of anywhere, I couldn't tell you, but I can tell you that you'll pass a KFC on your right if you're going east (parallel to Lake Erie), and then you will turn left at the big shopping center.

There are plenty of adaptations that everyday people use which are lifelines to dyscalculiacs in ways that other people may never recognize. Formulas on spreadsheets, conversion websites, built-in calculators, and turn-by-turn navigation apps are all examples of accommodations that appeal to everyone but are especially important to dyscalculiacs.

So, the next time you scoff and say "everyone can do math, they're just being lazy" or "cooking is easy" or "anyone can learn a second language if they want to" or "using a calculator is cheating" and so on:

Recognize that you are ignoring a very real learning disability. These statements are ableist.

Such rhetoric is equally damaging as anti-dyslexic statements like "everyone can learn to read," "open dyslexic fonts are ugly," "audiobooks are cheating," "video lessons are lazy" and things of that ilk.

Ableism takes many forms, many of which people refuse to recognize. Difficulty with math is a widespread problem, and it often has nothing to do with trying hard enough or refusing to learn. I remember breaking down in tears trying to do my times table; I would spend hours trying to understand them.

These issues are NOT a lack of willpower or application. They have to do with real neurological deficits. Please be kind to those who can't do math, and stop assuming we're lazy.

[ndjournal]

hello i would like to give a little experience. happened a few days ago. keep in mind that i had learned of ND in october 2023 (i was a big hater back then lol crazy how it helped me more than LOA ever did), and only began to take it serious in may.

i managed to “minishift” (in reality shifting terms) to my old dr. this was after plenty of hours doomscrolling and being worried of my supposed life in this world.

i began to experimentally visualize stuff not necessarily from this dr but randomly. and i could literally feel it, sense it which led me to the thought.

a thought that “this world is malleable like a dream..” which im sure helped before i tried this.

all i did was have an indifferent attitude,. if it happens, it happens. who gaf. and so i set an intention.

and immediately i was there. with it looking like my moodboards/what i imagined it to be.

surprisingly i wasn’t excited. all i felt was “i shifted, cool!” it was like peace. like it was just natural.

i came back because it was an old dr.

now the thing about this is i am not fully realized. and i know that the only reason why it worked was due to me simply not being attached to this old dr and its expectations. i have observed this happening with other “manifestations” (like my moms cancer scare, etc) my real goal is my dream life but im too attached and its hard to let go. i want this no attachment type shit forever

right now im trying to stick to the “i am that” book.

my question is how does one investigate like the book states.

Hello and thank you for sharing! Yes I've also found indifference to be key, it allows one to let go and let it be. While still identifying with the character, the level of indifference possible depends on the limitations held in the mind such as attachments/aversions etc which can be deeply subconscious.

Here's something from the book Friendship of God by Neale Walsch that explains why:

Have intentions, but don't have expectations, and certainly don't have requirements. Do not become addicted to a particular result. Do not even prefer one. Elevate your Addictions to Preferences, and your Preferences to Acceptances. That is the way to peace. That is the way to mastery. "You can intend for something to happen without preferring it to. In fact, holding a Preference is an announcement to the universe that alternative outcomes (to what you intended) are possible. God doesn’t imagine such things, so God never has Preferences."

In other words, you can have a goal or desire (intention), but without being attached to the specific outcome (preference). You're open to whatever happens, rather than being stuck on one particular result. When you strongly prefer one outcome, you're actually acknowledging that other outcomes are possible too and that creates resistance. By having a preference, you’re subtly saying, “I want this result, but it might not happen,” which introduces doubt. God doesn’t see limitations or alternative possibilities. God just creates with pure intention, without any doubt or attachment to a specific result, because there’s no awareness of potential failure. So the key message is: not having preferences (just intending without attachment or expectation of outcomes) is more powerful, because it aligns you more with a state of certainty and flow, without the resistance that comes from fearing other possibilities.

Now onto your question of how to investigate. I know you want to stick to the I Am That book but for my own journey, I did not use a lot from his teachings including my practices as they didn't resonate with me (including his way of self-investigation) so my answer is going to come from what I do know.

I'll first briefly summarize what his way is though in case it helps?

What you see as false, dissolves. It is the very nature of illusion to dissolve on investigation. Investigate — that is all. You cannot destroy the false, for you are creating it all the time. Withdraw from it, ignore it, go beyond, and it will cease to be.

Basically from skimming the search results of the keyword 'investigate', his way is to investigate everything that you think is real, then see it as unreal and drop it by ignoring it and refusing to give it attention. This is similar to what 4dbarbie taught and is described in How to let go of Vanessa.

Something I want to add here is to not compare your journey to others, for everything including timing, experiences, progress and practices. What works for others, may not work well for you and vice versa. Part of this journey is finding what resonates for you. Don't try to force something to fit but find what already will fit perfectly. If you listen to your heart, it will tell you because it is your own Self guiding you. Don't be afraid to explore if what you've been doing no longer works for where you are now.

Anyway, part of my own journey was realizing that there were certain limitations/attachments/fears/trauma/conditioning etc that were so deeply ingrained that it didn't matter if it was real or unreal, I couldn't let go of them by simply ignoring them. Ignoring them didn't make them go away because reality was already given on a deeply subconscious level, it just kept them in the back of my subconscious but they were still operating in the background regardless. What resonated more for me was "What you resist, persists. What you look at disappears and ceases to hold its illusory form. You see it for what it Is. And what Is can always be changed. It is only what Is Not that cannot be changed. Therefore, to change the Isness, move into it. Do not resist it. Do not deny it." (this was taken from the Conversations with God books 1-3) This meant diving deeply into myself, directly looking at the causative thoughts of whatever limitations I had and seeing them as untrue or deciding to drop them so they finally dissolved. (Now I don't do this for every single negative or limiting thought that comes up, sometimes ignoring a thought is indeed the way to go, but I just go with the flow and do what feels right depending on the nature of the thought. I don't stick to one practice for absolutely everything)

And so I worked on them individually as Lester taught. It's also self-investigation into the mind but in a different way. I won't dive into it here because this response has already gotten quite long but I've addressed this before in other asks on my main blog and I'll link them here in case it helps your direction (just take whatever resonates for you): 1, 2, 3, 4

If it resonates, you could take a look at Lester's book The Keys to the Ultimate Freedom which discusses more deeply in detail on the how compared to what I covered in my answered asks: Especially Session 9: Mind over Matter, Session 16: Take Full Responsibility and Session 32: Realization by Dropping the Unconscious. You can get the book from Ada's google drive. Link is in the pinned post of @4dbarbie-archive

[wistfulnightingale]

The Chess Moves Theory Set (New Ideas About the Final 15)

*An 8-Part set of Interconnected MetaTheories that support each other and might start to answer some interesting questions.

Did you have any nagging thoughts about things that didn't make sense from the last 2 episodes of Good Omens S2? Out-of-character moments, or odd changes in mood, or just little things someone said that stood out, but you weren't sure Why?

Me too.

For me, it was Especially because I became convinced that Aziraphale and Crowley committed to each other as loving partners on that bus ride home from the almost-Apocalypse, and that we were seeing An Old Married Couple as S2 opened. They were sweet, but stable, with set looks and comfortable touch and familiar quarrels, and now a sudden dramatic crisis had strolled up to their doorstep in all his naked glory...

So, for many months I was poring over YouTube videos, rewatching full episodes -- with headphones, or not, with captions, without sound, with sound but not watching the visuals.... Bonkers, right? But, as the Cheshire Cat said, "We're all mad here." And Alice later told the Hatter, "...I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are!"

I saw so many wonderful questions about S2 being asked by my fellow madly devoted Ineffables fans. It occurred to me that maybe we needed to ask all the questions at the same time, in order to come closer to the answers we were looking for, instead of looking at one question as the key. Similar to chess, where no singular move can win the match without the other moves and counter-moves.

I came up with 8 Mini-Theories I christened The Chess Moves Theory Set that all impact and support each other. Some may seem too wild or weird for the ineffable path you follow, some you might love, some may (I hope) turn out to be on the right track, and some may prove to be altogether wrong. But I did my best, and I do believe all of them are supported as theories by what I discovered and what I describe in each meta-theory analysis. I hope they are also consistent with the vision Terry Pratchett had for the final story. Even if I was mistaken, at least it gives us something fun to talk about until then!

Tumblr doesn't make it easy to prep and link 8 theory posts and a Master Post -- I tried (oh so hard!) to put cross-links in each one for you, and it just couldn't happen at posting time. Annnd, I'd also foolishly put my works-in-progress from "draft" into "private" 5 days ago! This makes it even tougher for you to get to them. So here's a nice shiny new post with all 8 Mini-Theories plus the Master Post that explains how Chess and Magic connect to all this:

The 8 Chess Moves Theory Set:

1 - The Metatron Misdirection

2 - The Metatron's Second Coming

3 - Ineffables in Check

4 - A Hefty Jigger of Death

5 - Nothing Lasts Forever

6 - The Circle Kiss Theory

7 - The Nightingale DID Sing

8 - Aziraphale's Jubilant Smile

Also: The Chess Moves Theory Set, Why Chess & Magic?

(If anyone has trouble with any links in any of the blogs, please let me know asap, and I'll try to fix it! I had some issues when I tried to cross-link everything!)

I also linked them in my pinned post on my blog page, "I Believe In Nightingales" at @wistfulnightingale.

I hope you enjoy them, if you decide to check them out! I'd love to have you along on this crazy ride until we get to the final chapter for our Beloved Ineffable Husbands!

[outmakingmoonshine]

I wrote this reply a few weeks ago about the 773 tattoo on Carmy's arm that really looks like 223. You'll have to read that first because I'm not gonna explain it all again here and you'll need context to understand this post.

SPOILERS below if you haven't watched to the end of S3 yet

Right before this in Marcus's mum's funeral scene he's talking about having someone who really listen to you and pays attention to you and the camera does a not so subtle zoom in on SydCarmy's faces. Then the next scene is this one where Syd says she made the margins wider on the menus because Carmy always writes in them. We already know Carmy pays close attention to Syd and he does really listen to her even though it's like he gets amnesia right after and does the opposite of what she wanted, he does really try to listen and understand her in his own way. This an example of Syd really paying attention to Carmy immediately after being told how significant it is and how good it makes you feel. Carmy looked shocked that she paid attention to him and went out of her way to do something thoughtful for him and said "That's really nice. Thank you." Then Carmy goes on to do a checklist of the things they both need which also showed he knows her too.

Keeping the number meta above in mind, I'm not sure who first mentioned this (pls link the post if anyone knows so I can credit them) but sydcarmy both represent the number 2. In the post above I spoke about when the two 2's (sydcarmy) face each other and finally turn to take notice of each other. I'm pretty certain this scene was a small glipse of what their future together would be like if sydcarmy did face each other without anything or anyone coming between them. They become a cohesive unit, working together as one just like they were in this scene. Sydcarmy are mirrors of each other in many ways, just like the twos are mirroring each other on the clock behind them. I know one is technically a 5 but visually it's a 2 backwards and how else would they symbolize two 2's facing each other on a digital clock? Imo these numbers in this scene represent this moment being a good thing and a glimpse of what they could be, plus the whole scene gave me strong married couple vibes.

In numerology 9 represents completion/the end. The next number, 10, begins the cycle from 1 again or you could say it evolves, moves forward and keeps growing. 9 has other asociations but the core foundational meaning of it is completion. It's telling us in the end they will face each other and balance each other out, mirror each other. "Mirroring is an act of love." If that number sequence in the background of this specific scene isn't positive SydCarmy foreshadowing idk what is. This scene, the context, subtext and symbolism in it alone lets me know the sydcarmy love story and endgame is still very much on track. We're just taking a detour for now, like 99% of will-they-wont-they ships do right before the end of the story.

This shot showed directly after a Carmy/Claire opening scene in 3x05 and Carmy was laying in bed staring at it in some of the darkest blue lighting I think we've seen in the show.

I think this may even be a few shades darker than the sex scene with Claire. Imo it's because Carmy's in his darkest place now, he knows how he feels and who he wants but he can't have it. Carmy metaphorically turned to face Syd in the panic attack scene then fully turned, paid attention and listened to her in the table scene. Now he's somewhat aware of his feelings for her, tbh I think he does know but he's avoiding it because he's in a really dificult situation with Claire and he already let Syd down again after promising to be there for her. He doesn't love Claire romantically but he doesn't wanna hurt her either He's just stuck which is what I think this season was about, Carmy's still mentally and emotionally stuck in the freezer. Carmy said saying sorry to Claire was too hard and I think that's because he knows he has to tell her he doesn't feel the same way and it's gonna hurt her. We keep seeing cute flashbacks with Claire but I don't think it's because he misses her, I think it's because he feels really guilty that he lead her on so much because that's what the scenes were showing. He was acting all loved up with her and it's interesting that we the audience/Carmy never saw that last season and we're only seeing now it in hindsight. Remember the show is telling us the story through Carmy's eyes.

I said in the post above I initially thought the number 3 represented Claire and/or Marcus, but in 2x08 Carmy (2) asked Richie (3) to be the "go-between" and give Syd (2) an I love you note, literally putting the three in the middle of the two 2's so it made sense it probably represented him at the time.

And maybe it does, idk, he's been getting between them since S1 in one way or another, directly or indirectly. But it more likely represents anyone that comes between them. The third wheel so to speak.

Notice how the 2's aren't facing each other here in 2x08 because this was before Carmy faced what Syd means to him in 2x09.

And you may be wondering if the mirroring numbers represent how sydcarmy end up why isn't Carmy's tattoo 753? Well 753 isn't the chicago area code so it would raise questions why Carmy had a random tattoo of 753 so I think it was a choice to keep the symbolism but keep it subtle.

I didn't expect s3 to feel this bad (I should've tbh, this show always makes you feel the most) but I didn't expect it to go well for sydcarmy. That's why I posted this post the day before the episodes aired reminding everyone what the show told us to expect. They did warn us this wasn't gonna be a mushy gooey love story. It's not gonna be cute and sweet, it's gonna be ballbreaker and that's what Carmy's doing to Syd. He's doing to her what the NY Chef did to him. He's already making her sick, making her have panic attacks and he knows he's a "bad boss". He glanced her way when they were talking about it at the table in 3x10. When I saw Carmy confront NY Chef, for a moment I thought they were gonna have Carmy say the same to Syd one day in the future (this is how bad the whole situation felt while watching the show, it was truly horrible to watch) but I really don't think so. Carmy doesn't want to be anything like that arrogant guy so I can only imagine he'd be the complete opposite with Syd (someone he genuinely cares about) when he finally pulls his head out of his ass, metaphorically gets out of the freezer and faces the situation he's in like Cicero told him you have to run straight into it, you can't avoid it.

Even though this season was very hard to watch I think the same amount of subtext, symbolism and metaphors that pointed to sydcarmy in the last seasons is still all there. It's just more difficult to see, especially after 1 watch because there were barely any scenes that seem good for them on a surface level, they all went to Carmy/Claire. But underneath the surface a lot of the scenes imply good things are still to come for sydcarmy imo.

[dearweirdme]

(sorry for long ask) jkkers have always been obsessed with tkk/tkkers. take them trying to apply the tkk 1:23 theory to jkk for example. it's like they're trying to counteract everything tkk/tkkers do, as if their ship can only be real if they can prove tkk isn't. and if debunking tkk doesn't work they just generalize & bash tkkers (which doesn't prove anything). tkk has always been the overall most popular pairing which explains why they may feel the need to put themselves against tkkers so often. it's like they're trying to enlighten everyone on who they realized the "actual real ship" is and that we were all "wrong" about tkk. (not that popularity means the ship is more real, but it explains some of the attitudes of jkkers). tkkers are usually only defending our views. im not denying there are a few toxic tkkers that go to jkk blogs but most of us don't care. for example, i don't hear as many tkkers talk about jm and da3un but some of those jkkers push taenie like crazy. i rmbr seeing a post that compiled "taenie proof" and it was made by a jkk blog 😭. like what does taenie have to do with their ship? why do they have to try to debunk tkk to make their ship "real"? why tkk out of all conflicting pairings? why even bother to make posts about "get out your imagination" & other "debunks"? it's as if the idea of tkk being "dead" gives them reassurance. yoonmn is popular too but i hardly see them bother yoonmn blogs as often or make debunk posts about yoonmn. it's something about tkk in particular that bothers them. they know something isn't normal about tkk and there are still things they struggle to come to a general consensus on (some say tkk separation is a false theory while others call it "shipper parlance"...). i think most secretly acknowledge there's many unexplainable things about tkk and unfortunately for them those things only make sense when u believe tkk are a couple. so they try their best to find a way to debunk tkk so they can disregard those things entirely. and no matter how much they want to pretend people only ship tkk just bcs they're both popular visuals, it cannot change that reality. also a lot of jkkers are tunnel visioned or lack critical thinking. some don't even realize stuff like jk carrying jm's bags is not even exclusive (do they even fact check? it's not hard to just search up something like "V carrying jm's bags" just to make sure... but i guess not). i doubt most of them ever watch compilations of other pairings or even have a grasp on how close all the members are, and that a lot of those "suspicious" moments are not unique/exclusive. personally ive watched many vids from various ships and can see the difference with tkk

Hi anon!

It’s idiotic right? I still think they focus on the sexual so much because they think that’s what makes a relationship.

So I truly feel that having a ship is a strategy that’s used by companies as a marketing tactic. (I just saw a yt vid from a bl actor talking pretty openly about what it’s like to be part of a ship, and that actually fit so well in what my thoughts already were). So I think when Tae and Jk became involved BH decided they couldn’t use them as their main ship anymore and decided to go with Jm and Jk. Not in the way that they were meant to hide Tae and Jk, but just to have a strong ship in general. But imagine what that was like for starting jkkrs! They had this huge ship to contend with from the start. They had to come in hard and competitive. Tkkrs ofcourse retaliated hard and thus a very toxic environment was born.

I just had this insanity in my comments (they’re blocked now):

That’s basically exemplary of what you’re saying. I’ve mentioned Daeun a couple of times in passing, but around here we certainly don’t use it as a comeback. We don’t even really care I think? I mean, if Jm is with or without her.. he’s not with Jk either way.

Jkkr fandom to me feels very fragile. Their blogs don’t discuss things like we do. There’s very little space for discussion about the harder stuff and you’re basically called a tkkr or an anti as soon as you show signs of doubt. We discuss everything to death around here. I’ve toned down the taennie talk like a lot of others have as well… but boy did we go through it 🙈.

Tae and Jk have been the biggest ship for so long for a reason.

[schizosupport]

Hello, I hope you're all well! I'm not sure if this is a question that you'd be willing to answer, but I thought I'd ask anyway lol.

I'm writing a story with a character that experiences psychosis - that's not the whole premise of it, but that's the part I'm struggling with. I've had delusions since I was really young, and I get auditory and tactile hallucinations (illusions? I don't know, I never really talk about it, hence my problem), but I don't fully know how to describe it in a way that is realistic/understandable, especially for the non-...psychosis-experiencing (I swear I'm a better writer usually) reader, or for someone who has other types of psychosis.

I had considered asking a writing help blog about this, but I thought that it would be hard for them to help if they didn't also have experience in this sort of thing. So, I guess my question is, how do you describe hallucinations and delusions to someone, without it seeming like...you're making it up, or being overdramatic, or just overthinking something?

I read your other post about someone writing a character like this, and I found your advice to get into the character's more complex traits and fears very helpful, I'm just not sure how to get into the actual depictions, especially since it's kind of hard to get into descriptions for a hallucination when it's only based on one sense, you know?

Thank you in advance, but also no worries if this isn't something you can answer, I just thought I'd reach out anyway.

Hi there!

Okay so my answer might be too obvious to be helpful. But I would say to explain it the same way you would describe any other experience that a character has, within the framework of your writing style and the story you're telling.

So like if it's an auditory hallucination, I would describe it like any other sound the character hears. "Dave heard a loud bang", " "are you out of your mind?!" a voice commented" etc. You can describe the qualities of the sound/voice like you would any other sensory input experienced by a character. If you're writing from the pov of a character who hears a lot of voices and you want to depict this, you might need a visual shorthand for "this is a hallucination only heard by the pov character".

Could be something like

"

Dave looked at his shoes, then up at Lea.

"I just don't think it's a good idea.." his eyes flickered.

"you're pathetic"

Dave ignored the voice and ventured on. "It's just I'm... You know.." he gestured vaguely.

"

For visual or tactile etc I would equally just describe it as something the character is seeing/feeling etc. And then you can clue the reader into the fact that it's a hallucination either by the character's own response (they may be used to it and shrug off something terrifying while dismissing it as a hallucination), or by other characters not responding to the obvious threat/weirdness/whatever perceived by the pov character.

If the character experiencing hallucinations isn't the pov character, I would show it via the pov character noticing them reacting more or less subtly to things that the pov character can't perceive.

As for delusions, I think it's similar. It's like.. how would you write a character having any other thought/belief/idea? And then just describe something that's delusional in content. The character could have more or less insight, which is like any other internal struggle you could write about. But if they don't have a lot of insight, I think it's valid to present the delusion as "fact" to the reader via the pov character as an unreliable narrator. And then the reader may be clued in that it's a delusion before the character, or they'll figure it out when the character does, or when the pov switches, etc. Or it could be left unclear where reality ended and delusion started.

You can also show the logical "leaps" that often happen in psychosis. Where the character starts out making fair connections between different things, but at a point they start making logical leaps that don't actually add up.

But yeah overall I think I would say to write these things as if they are happening/as if they are real, bc that's often how it's experienced by the character. So I think the best way to give the reader a similar experience is if the reader also has to do a double take on things that the character perceived, and be unsure when we have left the territory of reasonable deduction and entered the territory of delusion etc.

Hope this helps!

[lovinggreeniehours]

um. hi :) i have all the concept art. also i rambled very long about the outfits so i tossed it under the readmore

i was supposed to post this yesterday but my wifi died

punches lucifer for making his outfit so hard to design

this is very. concept art so i want to explain like every single unclear thing i can think of in the design choices i made here

them getting to wear their colors 99% out in the open but still have little elements of each other's color here and there >>>>>>>

lucifer's horns and feathers may or may not be tip-dyed. with the gold and red. yes that took forever (thank you asmodeus ^^)

originally lucifer's overcoat-thing wasn't there but. i realized it looks a little reminiscent of his regular demon form (+ his casual outfit's fur) which i thought was very :) so i added it

i tried to put in softer textures i headcanon he likes on his clothes (the fur, velvet lining under the overcoat and his gloves, and etc). he's got a very standard taste in formal clothing which made him hard to design in the first place 😒 so there wasn't much in the design to play with, per se, since his actual main goal is to look presentable. but i think it's important that mr "skin crawling everyday from the amount of eyes glued to him and the pressure weighing on his shoulders" gets to feel comfortable at his own wedding

it's a somewhat similar for takahara's design here reflecting his regular outfits: with the red garment covering his head and face being similar to his old hoodie, while also being more flowy which is like the scarf he wears more often now

takahara's outfit here is probably one of my all-time favorites of his (and i like that for him 🫶 go me) because it was a fun play on ideas like "sacrificial bride; long veil and covered in treasure" vs "mysterious god; covered eyes and strange halo" it also reflects the conflict of image of takahara under the scrutiny of the devildom's public eye. it's been a little messy since coming back (and turning nonhuman) so i wanted to poke at it hgshhfsf

the crown alone makes me want to kick my feet hgsdjddh reference to religious statues (especially catholic ones) and how they depict their holy figures' halos

takahara just getting to embrace that he is a god now without having to hold back is FUN. im HAPPY for him (because he is a god! his followers hi mika <3 are at the wedding lmao)

it's a little unclear but they have matching necklaces. takahara gifted them to lucifer the night before the wedding. it's hard to depict with 2.0 lines on ibispaint but they're meant to look like stars. there's a tiny magic flame in the middle that makes the shape of the star move irregularly, so it's not really in perfect symmetrical shape all the time

it may or may not be a little more clear but hehe the little gold design on the top of their shirts hehe it's occurred to me that i never revealed to most people what their pact mark looks like but. it looks like that

idk if anyone saw the dark funeral-esque venue but HFSGHSH 😭 or how ive been asking people if i can give them black outfits which i have the drafts of. by the way. im just unsure ill be able to finalize all of them but see that's all lucifer's fault after he was put in charge of the aesthetic and decorating

his intention was really to throw all the spotlight on takahara hfshgsgj to get him to be remembered properly (re takahara's curse of being forgotten) and also it's a little funny. everything is black and blue, which are assumed to be more of lucifer's colors, so it's really perceived as just his wedding, until you get there, and takahara's bright red gets to steal all the visual attention and hshshshdh idk i think it's cool. sue me

[northwest-cryptid]

I don't think I can really explain this without sounding like some elitist prick to someone out there, and that's not the intention or the thought process at all; but the thing is I really do want to like Limbus Company. However I've not been able to bring myself to do so for a lot of reasons.

Look this is gonna be a long one because I'm gonna keep it 100% with you, I have been having a LOT of thoughts about how we're never getting another game like Lob Corp; or even characters who can commit to their most surface level key design features.

I know I've sorta touched on this in the past, and every time I do I get anons by the dozens; (anon is turned off before anyone tries) telling me to kill myself or that I'm stupid and wrong. Which like, look I get it, but you need to understand that a jab at Project Moon and Limbus is not a jab at YOU.

Project Moon used to be one of my favorite game companies, I am the self proclaimed "#1 Project Moon Fan" so you gotta understand that I'm coming at this from a perspective of love for the series as a whole.

I think Limbus fundamentally fumbles the whole bag when it comes to what it could have been vs what it is. That's not to say it's entirely garbage or something. I'm not just going to say everything everyone likes about Limbus is absolute dogwater bullshit.

However as I've said before I can't shake the feeling that what I see when I look at Limbus is like a parody of what it wants to be. It's a husk wearing the corpse of Lob Corp like a cheap costume. Does it have some cool characters? Absolutely; yea I love seeing all the cool EGO designs and such, shame that so many of them cost real money and are still a gamble since many of them reveal things about the characters.

Which like, hey that's a good thing; they SHOULD reveal things about the characters, they should have cool little extra details; they should be important and plot relevant. If they weren't it would just be some cool costume for the characters (and let's be honest, some/most of them absolutely are...) However the fact of the matter is, what we were promised was that this would be a means of continuing to tell us about The City while funding other big projects.

I remember when they said we were going to get a proper open world game set in The City, where we were going to be able to make our own character and explore everything. Do you have any idea how hype I was for that? Limbus changed very quickly from the planning phase to the execution phase. It's success rapidly shifted the focus, no longer was it just a side project to sort of run in the background and "give us something back for donations and funding support." Suddenly it was THE focus of Project Moon.

I understand that since the launch (and even before the launch) of Limbus, Project Moon has had a lot going on. As in, things have come out that the company kinda sucks, that their practices are less than ethical; there was a very short lived boycott over the rights of women in Korea, and the sexism seen in the workplace at Project Moon.

It was genuinely saddening to me to see that fail so quickly because you know, the entire community/fandom built on the shoulder of "we need to oppose shitty business practices even when it's hard." Couldn't manage to oppose shitty business practices and sexism, because they needed their blorbos or whatever.

HOWEVER, that's all been talked about into the dirt, what I don't often see discussed; though it does happen on occasion, is just how much the tone of the game has shifted. Lobotomy Corp, back in it's original heyday; was actually really interesting. Because it was one of the few horror games where sure the graphics were pretty mid and the overall visual aesthetics may not be consistent. However that didn't matter because the characters and story were actually well written and compelling. We were seeing a game explore horror in a very human way, beyond simple shock factor and jumpscares. It still had monsters, and they were the least frightening part of the whole thing.

It felt like the Abnormalities were there as a sort of reminder; here are the monsters, but what's actually scary is what's going on at the company. What's going on with the people, and how you're involved, and the fact that these characters are suffering from very relatable, understandable; and human traumas. The scariest part of Lobotomy Corp for me wasn't Nothing There or The Woman Facing The Wall; it was the relatability of these characters, the fact I couldn't help but see a piece of myself in characters like Malkuth or Chesed.

It was also really interesting that at no point (other than MAYBE Netzach) does the game outright throw something in your face. Not once does it tell you "Malkuth has ADHD" or whatever. It doesn't need to, you see it; you understand it. You feel the futility of it all, understanding you're in a loop, you can't change how things will play out; you can't fix the past, you can do everything in your power to lessen the suffering but it won't fix it.

It's insane that we go from a storylines like Tiph's to the height of horror being "scary" monsters and in-your-face trauma. We even saw a bit of this formula in Library of Ruina, though I believe it was handled a lot better. A lot of people tell me I'm just bias, I was one of the "originals" by which I mean I remember being in THE (at the time) Project Moon discord server when there were maybe like 20 of us who were really mentally unwell about this series. Making mods, making content whether it be art or writing or whatever, I remember staying up all night going through the code and the data and the unused assets. So sure I have a lot of love for the original Lob Corp and such.

However what people hate to recognize is that yes, I'm aware of my bias, and where my bias lies; and no that's not influencing my opinion in the way you think it is. Believe it or not I DO like the characters in Limbus; I actually don't mind at all that we see some fresh faces. I wouldn't be happy with them dragging the corpse of Chesed into Limbus just so I can see my dumb blue haired coffee man (don't think I'm generalizing my favorite boy I swear to god.) I'd be mad that they really dredged up the corpse of a more or less complete character story just to pull some fan service.

My issue with Limbus is just how unfitting it feels. This doesn't feel like the same writing at all, it feels to me as though there's so much more shock value and fan service and "hey isn't THIS cool!?" Rather than striking at the heart of horror. I'm not saying these characters aren't still relatable to people, I absolutely know they are. I'm saying that we've seen Project Moon drift closer and closer to safe marketability over interesting storytelling.

Marketability really is the core problem for me, from the need for monetary gain to the lack of risk being taken with the narrative. It feels like a cheap cash grab, and it's taken over the entire company. We won't ever get another game like Lob Corp, it's just not going to happen. Even if we do get those other promised things; like a "Project Moon Land" or an open world City exploration game, it's going to be a shell of what it could have and should have been. Because it's sharp edges and gripping narrative is going to be smoothed down and made to be marketable to the highest paying audience.

I feel like Limbus more than any other game in the series is so black and white. These are the good guys (who have done bad things uwu) and these are the bad evil guys. This is the characters explicit trauma, we're going to bring this up again at the end very directly. All our characters are SO quirky and fun, this one talks in acronyms! This one exclusively talks in the third person! This one is autistic! But What if they had REASONS for being like that?!?!?!??!?!?? It all feels so, I don't know; it's like those youtubers who make horror content for kids saying "DON'T CALL DON QUIXOTE AT 3 AM!"

I'm not even saying you can't have quirky characters, or characters who talk in a specific way, or characters who are autistic. I'm saying that the whole thing with Limbus feels so half-hearted and phoned in. I've tried to get into the game several times, and if it's not that I'm literally missing out on stuff because I'm actually poor and can't afford to spend hundreds on gacha every time they release a new one; it's the fact that it just feels so predictable.

This could very well be a ME problem, and I fully accept that and I'm not here to tell you that you can't like Limbus Company. I'm just blogging on my personal blog lamenting (heh) the fact we're never going to get another Lob Corp; or even a Library of Ruina. Because at the end of the day I have a deep love for those games; but Project Moon isn't the company it once was, and now that it has had a taste of this success it's never going to go back to being the company it once was. Especially not after you know, firing some of their key figures, burning bridges with creators and artists; and ultimately shooting themselves in the foot 8 times over because hey it doesn't matter, check out this new EGO we made Don's a spooky vampire now!

If you actually want a really good example of what I mean when I say it feels half hearted; look no further than the very first major plot arc with Gregor. That's my boy right there, I love that guy; but they really do just pull an immediate one two punch only to miss both swings with the whole "here's Yuri, he likes Yuri like a sister; uh oh someone has to protect her who are you going to send? It has to be Gregor; it has to be, you can't actually pick anyone else, like sure you can but we've set this up so you HAVE to pick Gre- OH NO HE FAILED and she's DEAD and he's SAD and you should be too!" But more than that, let me put it this way; what's Gregor's key design thing? If I was to line up the sinners and have you point out something unique about each of their designs; what would it be for Gregor? Is it his arm? You know, the lack of a human arm? You know, the thing he has trauma about? The physical and visual representation of his trauma? The fact it's a weapon? A sharp, jagged, inhuman wea- oh wait hang on...

Yea sure I guess he can just have that back for this ID. Why not. Fuck it, we can't even commit to this one thing entirely. "That's LITERALLY only 1 EGO dude."

Okay.

Another one. "That's a fucked up thorn claw that doesn't count." Fine dude, fuck; here,

That's CLEARLY a fucking hand with some butterflies on the arm. (Sick design mind you but come on man.)

My point with this whole bit here is that they really feel like they can't even commit to what feels like a key visual design element for a character's trauma because hey the rule of cool will sell more if we make him look badass!

And like the other big thing is that we actually know that in The City robotic prosthetics and the like are COMMON, so something like this?

That would be seen as just a mostly functional arm or something he could get replaced with a fully functioning arm later. Not a weapon, not an instrument of trauma for the poor guy.

That's ALSO just an arm. Here's another Prosthetic:

And another arm:

And ANOTHER ARM:

Look what I'm saying here is that of his 8 IDs on the wiki, only 3 actually have a hook, claw, or non-hand/arm appendage that is actually a weapon. Of the 6 EGO on the wiki 4 of them are either just hands/arms or at least vaguely hand/arm adjacent with only 2 being the centipede and orb thing.

So the take away for me on this is that they couldn't even handle committing to the most surface level visual key element of this character for the MAJORITY of his IDs and EGOs. What's the point? His character arc is predictable and just tries to hit you in the gut with "he's a victim of war, he was experimented on; he loses everyone he cares about!" Then goes "oh and don't worry about him being a cockroach man because that doesn't matter actually..."

I hate it man.

I miss when this company made single player focused games, that told an interesting story; and actually understood horror and trauma beyond buzzwords and flash in the pan "ANGST" moments. I'm sorry but half of the Cantos have these very predictable storylines that really demand I get invested to side characters who we know aren't going to make it out alive because "Death = Sad and Emotion Response = Good!"

Do you remember when FNAF came out and everyone and their brother made youtube videos about how, "Jumpscares are cheap horror because it's an involuntary response!" Because this is that but for writing; they just want you to feel sad or angst or whatever because they know triggering any kind of emotional response in you means they got some kind of reaction from you. Gone are the days when you actually had time to get to know and care about a character; gone are the days when the characters were going through shit that actually did impact you in some way. Now we get 2-bit here and gone flash in the pan side characters to kill off, they exist solely to be expendable. I really miss when the games forced me to assume the role of a fucked up little guy and let me fight against the very nature of being a fucked up little guy in a fucked up little world. Only to come to the understanding that no matter how much I try, no matter how much I struggle against the horror; I can't undo the past, I can't save his wife; I can't end their suffering; I can't undo her decades of pain. I can only go forward as a better version of a fucked up little guy.

[drgnflyteabox]

Hi! I meant something like an headcanon if you don’t mind, about them and how they are in general as vikings and lovers, how the throuple functions (who’s the little spoon etc!) thank you again!! Sorry If I didn’t explain myself correctly ♥️

No need to apologize you explained it perfectly 🌸 I just wasn't familiar! So cute though!!! Here are some thoughts on this// (kinda long? My bad)

In regards to sleep, I think pre-nun Johnny and Simon moved around a lot. They switched spooning positions between the two, sometimes slept apart if it was too hot (big boys), but the most revisited position was Johnny with his arm and leg thrown over Simon's body and his mouth drooling on Simon's pec lol

Post-nun? I think it's usually reader in the middle. I love the symmetry of it if nothing else... also the feeling of entrapment slowly moving towards a feeling of safety, or being cradled <3 (stockholm but a lot to consider here)

This Johnny is a carver over a draw-er (lol), just because I couldn't come up with a reason for him to have paper. He's made tons of little wooden toys for all the kids of their village, for Simon (as we saw), for Price, etc. Everyone he likes probably has a little wooden sword or a wolf or something cute.

When there's a hunt, Simon likes to reserve some walrus ivory for Johnny to carve. It's expensive, and they use it for trade (cool article), but it's a little affectionate gesture <3 <3 fun fact: they may have learned this from the indigenous population! Especially the Inuit

nsfw - when they have sex, I think they switch. Not only do they both kinda take control over reader, but they're used to fighting as foreplay between each other. Definitely have both topped and bottomed in the same session like, several times.

Simon is definitely the more in control of the two, and Johnny definitely loves that, but Simon has power bottomed in this relationship I just know it......... imagine it....

Though Johnny is the carver, Simon has helped build boats for travel / raids / etc. He really likes the physical labour, the intricacies of it, the flow state he gets into. He hasn't really shown it, but his backstory in this universe is much like the comics / games / etc. Building helps him get away from his mind - he likes being a creator and a caretaker of people & things.

Without going into too much detail, he definitely had an abusive father and his scars aren't only from fighting. You might learn a wee bit more about that soon tee hee.

The throuple will evolve as the story goes on. Reader is pretty conflicted, on the fence, etc. for obvious reasons. They have a hard time communicating, also for obvious reasons, but their physical language will transcend speech.

Simon is one of the most prolific fighters (in part because he's visually striking with his skull mask and scars), but Johnny is crazier than he is. Bloodlust, berserker-style crazy. Remember that scene in the heli where he sounds like a fucking demon asking Price to kill Makarov? Yeah.

They love to fight, as well. Raiding is fun for them, but their true Viking calling and passion is conflict with other Viking communities & non-Vikings... they're not necessarily "good" people, but they are historically accurate in both their violence and their kindness. It's dizzying for nun to wrap her wee head around.

When they first met, they got boners fighting each other tee hee. Simon and Johnny's love story is a bit of a "Romeo and Juliet" kind of deal. Different communities, etc. Got together with Kate & John's blessing. Each have one or two scars from each other.

Love marks <3

When they discussed about "outsourcing" a woman for a wife, it wasn't necessarily a thought out plan. They saw you, they liked you, they took you. This scene in chapter one really encapsulates it lol

Simon, Johnny, and nun are all fluid in their sexuality; I won't label it, but their approaches to attraction / sex obviously differ greatly. I don't really know much about how queerness was received for Vikings, but for this world they're pretty damn chill about it. For nun? Well... she's learned a heap of shame.

Convents in the medieval ages may have been a place for women / afab people to live maybe with some more freedom (especially in regards to intellectual pursuits), but unfortunately this age was not called the dark ages (roughly 500 - 1500, but the story takes place around 900 - 1000) for no reason. Context, geography, etc. matters. Readers convent was pretty conservative.

Cool person though: a nun, Hildegard of Bingen, was one of the first ever people to describe a female orgasm on paper. If only reader was rockin' with Hildegard </3

The dresses the nun is dressed in probably looked like this (historically accurate as far as I know??), with socks like this:

[marshmallowprotection]

How will Saeran react if he saw his MC talking to herself without realising?

Bc I like to chat with myself or have a whole conversation, like saying something and answering it back all by myself or laugh by myself

There was once I had a convo w myself for two hours and my dad thought I was phone calling someone lol (I hope it’s nothing serious like I hope it’s not an illness)

GE Saeran wouldn't think you're strange.

It's not like that's not something he doesn't do, either. Sometimes it helps to repeat something out loud, and it helps to talk to yourself to problem solve. You may not be able to figure out something if you're thinking about it, and if you process it out loud, it may make things make more sense. There are a lot of reasons why someone might talk to themself after all! There's nothing wrong with talking to yourself if it helps you!  

If he catches you doing it without knowing that's something you do, he might ask who you're talking to, but once you explain, he would wave it off. It's not odd to him. He spent so much time alone in the past… Ray and Suit Saeran spent so much time alone… it’s hard not to talk to yourself when you’re alone all the time. You miss the sound of voices. Of life. Of humanity.

You miss the sense of community. Even if you're an introvert, you do need to be around people now and again, because humans are social creatures and we need to be able to talk to other people. It doesn't have to be every day, but you do need other people sometimes, and it's lonely even if you enjoy being alone most of the time.

"My love, you're not strange. I talk to myself sometimes, too. I didn't realize that was something anyone would label strange. If people think you're strange, then I'm strange, too. I think that says more about them than it does about us."

Also, anon, I just wanted to say that it's not abnormal to talk to yourself and a lot of people do it. I talk to myself now and again, that's not strange. If you're worried about your health, though, it's okay to speak to a professional! If you're talking out loud and you've got a conversation going with a voice inside your voice, you should speak to a doctor about that.

There's a few health disorders that are known to cause auditory or visual hallucinations, for example, but as scary as that sounds on the surface, psychosis shouldn't be demonized. It typically is when we're looking at different forms that are displayed in media, unfortunately. I hate that. People deserve to see some genuine representation that's not a horror movie.

With a team of doctors and medication, you can confront the issue and figure out the best foot forward if this is impacting your day to day life. But, speaking from experience, I talk to myself, but it's more or less a byproduct of maladaptive daydreaming!

Do you ever imagine yourself in a story? Do you communicate with characters in your head over and over again until you get it right? Is something you do in your day to day life daydream about being in a story outside of your real life? I figure this is worth mentioning here since you seem worried about yourself!

At the end of the day, a lot of people talk to themselves and it has nothing to do with their mental health. But, if you are worried about it for any reason, don't hesitate to ask for help or do some research on the subject!

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

I'm only going to address this topic once to set the record straight

The 3 women this post above is referring to are not Ayo, Molly, and an unknown one. Leave Ayo out of it pls!

Let me explain.

They are:

His ex-wife, Addison Tomlin, whom he co-starred in Chasing You with while they were already engaged → https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7856598/

His ex-GF Emma Greenwell whom he worked with in Shameless and he dated for 2 years prior to starting dating his ex-wife and that he left because he started dating Addison → https://m.imdb.com/title/tt3570280/mediaviewer/rm818870273/

And his current GF, MG, whom he started "dating" after his divorce, while being single, unless we consider Rosalia something other than a long-distance situationship, that was never upgraded to a serious/committed relationship by either of them or their reps.

Pretty clean track record for someone who's being accused of being a "player", "womanizer", "manwhore", etc... right?

There is a rumor, never confirmed by anyone, that says that during the filming of S2 in Chicago, before his ex-wife filed for divorce, there were too many late-night dinners between Ayo and him and Chicagoans went crazy back then with speculation, hence:

but nothing ever happened or was verified by any source.

There were more rumors about Ayo and him earlier this year before baseball-gate, post-award season/Grand Slam, and those rumors not only were never confirmed either but shortly after a blind item came out saying there was a romance on set between JAW and a co-star, so everyone thought of Ayo back then (except me who immediately narrowed it down to both Ayo OR MG, thinking MG had better chances because Jayo seemed too good to be true and I had seen how she looked at him at the SAGs)

and a few days later (after the blind item of May 21st) JAW and MG went to Copenhagen and just now MG set the record straight on Cosmopolitan Magazine, saying they started feeling like "opposites attract" in June and started dating after that. June was when they were seen together in London at a Springsteen concert (where Ayo and Cooper Wehde were too) and a few weeks prior Deux Moi started spreading rumors with no visual material attached to confirm them, saying that MG and JAW were spotted together in LA.

All the while Ayo was always very open about "not dating coworkers".

This means that we have no hard evidence about Jayo. We never did. We can only go by "chemistry", which is undeniable but hardly enough, and maybe by wishful thinking, which is just that.

If we speculate, then we need to understand those are just speculations and that Ayo is not crazy about them as she said and demonstrated time and time again, and JAW clearly doesn't even GAF about them. So far all we know for sure is that evidence supports his clean track record in terms of "cheating". I won't walk through fire for him, but I will not deny the hard proof at hand either that shows his TL is quite overlapping-free, so making JAW wear a Scarlet Letter in 2024 for being messy while also being free as a bird and having the right to fuck, date, and dump without informing the media about any of this, whoever he wants, is at the very least OBSOLETE and preposterous at worst. So CHILL!

He's clearly not a guy who fucks around and has a collection of kids he doesn't even take care of, which would be the only reprimandable behavior in this day and age unless we feel entitled to have an opinion about other people's sex life, understanding by sex: any sexual, consensual and legit activity between adults. He's a very present dad and a very busy man who has every right to sleep around or not if he feels like it, and who doesn't owe anyone any explanation about it.

I'm not sure about Ayo because, unlike JAW, she hasn't talked about her love life or made any relationship official since she broke up with her ex-BF (Burgess last year), which I fully respect. This new guy she's with was never really introduced to anyone as anything other than her date to some events. She doesn't live with him and barely even hangs with him outside those PR events because he lives in NYC. I'm not sure if the label of BF is appropriate and won't call him that unless Ayo does first, is not my place to label the guys she's with if she doesn't do it either.

What I do know is that's how misinformation is spread, by making assumptions about other ppl's personal lives, that we can theorize about till the cows go home, I certainly do, but we actually have no certainty about it. We need to remember that.

That being said, I have made clear my "open-minded and slightly parasocial" personal preference regarding Jayo on the UTT podcast, meaning I'm all for it IF it ever happens (which I deem unlikely) but most importantly I just want them to be happy, either together or with other ppl, IDC. So far, looks like the only one who looks happy is Ayo, (which I love, ofc) while JAW is being punished for daring to fuck someone other than her. THAT I WILL NEVER STAND FOR. I miss happy JAW and I miss those times in which he was the internet's BF not the "rat face manwhore who cheated on Rosalia with a clout chaser" (not my words, ofc).

Last but most definitely not least:

I hope he finds with whomever he can, what he once had while he was in a long-distance situationship with Rosa, earlier this year because it was the last time I saw him genuinely happy in public.

[viperfizz]

this post is me resurfacing a mcsm concept/au i’ve had running around in my head like a rabid animal since around 2019 or so and it’s that Binta and the rest of the fred folk are all collectively blind.

while i know this idea is not actually canon and these guys can definitely see 100 percent, one in-game feature led me to some pondering cause why is this even a thing?

every single one of the fred folk have the same washed out eye color. every. single. person. no one is left out. take a stroll around fred’s keep? you’ll see that every person’s eye color is the exact same pale tint, which looks similar to the eyes of some blind people.

like i said, i know these guys have their vision in canon, and it’s most likely just a theme of pale eye color throughout an entire group of people. i just thought it was too much of a coincidence to go unnoticed because i’m pretty sure no one else in the game has this eye color (either that or i’m just not looking hard enough i’m sure a background character has pale eyes too) so alas, it stays a concept.

but let’s say they were all blind in canon; even then, nothing the fred folk do is out of the equation. painting? farming? totally possible, and even quite common! lots of blind people are very much experts at knowing their surroundings despite their lack of vision. their other senses may heighten to make up for the lost one, so they might develop better hearing, smelling, or even tasting than the average seeing person. this helps give them some kind of visual on their surrounding area. although the skill does take months, or even years to achieve, it is possible. because one thing about blind people; if they want something done, no matter what it is, they will find a way.

other heightened senses in a blind person might also explain why cam is on “watch duty”. it’s possible that she would be able to hear a lot better, and sense when something is near. a common thing deaf people do as well is feel vibrations in the ground, usually when listening to music. this habit could also be something that cam would pick up on. and if she feels some kind of disturbance in the force, she’ll go warn binta.

fred’s keep itself is relatively small as well. it’s an isolated area that’s pretty easy to memorize, and no mobs spawn on the land so that nothing can attack the people without any visual warning. great place for a bunch of blind folk to live if i do say so myself.

(side note i’d smoke the fattest blunt in fred’s keep just look at that place ugh gorgeous anyways)

that’s pretty much it lol i just wanted to get this all out of my head and onto a post so that maybe other people will see it and maybe add onto it

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

(article) ONEW THE LIVE: CONNECTION – A Triumphant Finale in Los Angeles | HYPNOTICASIA

It was literally lights, camera, and action before Onew stepped onstage at the Orpheum Theatre on Friday, May 9th, 2025, for the final stop of his U.S. solo tour, ONEW THE LIVE: CONNECTION. The historic LA venue buzzed with anticipation, and when the lights dimmed, the energy erupted. What followed was a night of musical precision, vulnerability, and warmth that only Onew could deliver.

Onew – A Voice That Carries Emotion

Opening with “Focus,” Onew immediately set the tone for the evening with his signature vocals—gentle yet powerful. Fans were swept into a journey that included “Shape of My Heart” and the meditative beauty of “O (Circle).” Each song was framed by stunning visuals and a sincerity that made the theatre feel intimate.

Onew addressed the crowd early on, explaining that his band couldn’t join him for the U.S. leg of the tour. But ever the perfectionist, he pre-recorded their parts so fans wouldn’t miss out on the live feeling. It was a small detail that underscored his thoughtfulness.

Lighthearted Moments and Fan Love

The night wasn’t without playful charm. During “Boy,” Onew tossed paper airplanes into the crowd, bringing smiles and shrieks of delight. “Dice” had the crowd moving, while “Beat Drum” lit up with synchronized fan chants that echoed off the Orpheum’s walls. In “All Day,” fans took over part of the song, chanting with pride and unity.

The middle of the concert brought a pause for reflection. Onew told fans it was okay to sit and rest for the next section—recognizing the heat and energy spent. He shared a heartfelt message about the pursuit of happiness, acknowledging life’s trials, and the importance of support systems. “You deserve to be happy,” he told the crowd, his voice emotional and kind. “Even I go through hard times. We all do. But we’re not alone.” He introduced the next song as a moment of healing—and asked fans to accept it in silence, cheering him on afterward if they connected with it.

Surprise and a Singalong

When “Always” began, the room lit up with fans holding their phone flashlights behind rose cutouts, creating a field of glowing petals. The magic continued with “Illusion” and the emotional English-language release, “MAD.” Onew revealed that “MAD” had to be rushed for the tour—but seeing fans sing it word-for-word made it all worth it.

Thinking “Starry Night” would be too tough for the U.S. crowd, he’d removed it from the setlist—only to realize he was wrong. He sang it acappella with the audience, joking, “You sang the last line a little fast,” and then admitting he should’ve trusted them. He quickly sang a part of “MAD” however and saw the fans singing that one more confidently. “See?” he said with a smile.

Encore Shenanigans and Final Farewell

As the set wrapped up, fans weren’t ready to let go. Onew teased them, pretending to check his watch. “Time runs fast,” he sighed, to loud chants of hajima! (“Don’t go!”). He grinned, “It’s a secret, but there’s an encore. If you cheer, I’ll come back. And if you don’t cheer—I’ll still come back.”

He did, with a banger lineup: “In the Whale,” “Maestro,” “Yay”—closing with contagious energy as he danced and waved, feeding off the crowd’s cheers.

Then came “Hola!” where Onew left the stage to walk through the audience, giving out flowers. During “Conversation,” the energy softened again, setting up the final heartfelt moments of the show.

In his final ment, Onew thanked the crowd for giving him an unforgettable night. When he asked what was famous in LA, fans shouted everything from In-N-Out to Raising Cane’s. He declared Raising Cane’s the winner after a louder cheer, jokingly apologizing to the In-N-Out fans. “In Korea, we say kimchi for photos,” he said. “In America, you say cheese. But in San Francisco, they told me to say ‘cheese’ and hold the note forever because of the Golden Gate Bridge. I was trying to find one for In-N-Out, and it sounded like… ‘che-e-se.’” Laughter erupted across the venue.

He walked the stage, giving the audience a round of applause before launching into his final song, “Promise You.” As he sang, he threw out balls and the last of his paper airplanes—a full circle moment of connection, just like the name of the tour.

Onew’s LA stop was not just a concert—it was an experience woven with humor, healing, and heartfelt music. From deep personal messages to euphoric singalongs, Onew of SHINee proved why he remains one of K-pop’s most emotionally resonant performers. He was also funny and sarcastic in Korean and English, which caused fans to laugh even more as they cheered him on. This finale wasn’t just the end of a tour—it was a promise kept to fans, a memory made, and a connection that won’t fade anytime soon.