#but I'm going to utterly break your hearts for making me realise this

[aquadestinyswriting]

@druidx and @blind-the-winds, I hope you're both happy with yourselves. Our little discussion about Selene's role in the found family that rebuilt Toreguarde made this little section of chapter 2 of To Heal A Broken Soul even more heart-breaking than it already was (under a cut to save everyones' dashes):

Selene watched Edwin deflate in front of her. While her own temper had guttered out, the old wound of discovering that Alexis had left without saying anything to her, stung anew, ripped open by the letter she’d just received from Ivan. Finding out now that Edwin knew what had happened, and didn’t say anything either, was simply adding salt to it. It had become increasingly clear that no one truly trusted her, not even those she had considered her closest friends, Edwin now included. Oh, sure, Edwin had told her why, but that was simply an excuse to hide the truth. The wizard huffed out a sigh and stood up, too dejected to notice the sting in her arms at the movement, “Well, thank you for finally telling me the truth, Father Goodwin.” she stated flatly, “If you don’t mind, I need to have some time to myself.” 

Here's what I told Dru:

Sel was kind of estranged from her biological family and then Yastromo, Greydown and Chrackle were the only family she had for a long time after that. Then the adventure happens, she gets close to everyone that's left, half of those that lived leave for one reason or another, and the last few she now has too little time to spend with.

By the time The Wizard's Tale starts, I'm not sure Selene even knows what a family is supposed to be any more. All she knows is that she feels like she's fighting a losing battle to maintain those relationships she cares so much about, so she can't decide whether to retreat further into her work or try to cling to what little is left. It certainly explains her mercurial moods with regards to her relationship with Elowyn.

As far as her fellow wizards, Selene can't bring herself to get too close to them. She's their boss and needs to maintain a certain distance to ensure a professional relationship with them. This is fine as far as Thazaar and Thaddeus are concerned, it's a lot more difficult with Dwena. Despite all her best efforts, Selene can't help but trust the gnome and is closer to her than the other two members of her little Council. Even then, she refuses to consider Dwena as a part of her family until two thirds of the way through the Destiny's New Servants campaign, because she's so afraid that Dwena will end up leaving or dying on her and Selene knows she wouldn't be able to stand that.

By the time we get to the above conversation with Edwin, Selene honestly feels like he's the last member of that original adventuring family that she can truly rely on and trust. Now Edwin's gone and shattered even that. Is it any wonder, then, that she walks away and doesn't want to hear anything he has to say after that?

I know for a fact that Sel did not take Alexis' disappearance well at all at the time, and probably decided that it was for the best to never mention Alexis unless someone else broached the topic first, simply because talking about it hurt too much (It also makes for a handy excuse as to why Selene never mentioned or asked anyone about her when she visited Fangthane to ask about the God Clay).

Now I'm feeling compelled to write a story of Selene's perspective of family, though what point in the timeline that will be set, I'm not entirely sure...

[tulipsforvin]

OMGGGGGGG

I just remeber reading youre post about reader dying. The part with Louis hit HARD. While I can definitely see him and me as reader in that scenario, (dw I am fine– almost.LOL) I thought Albert would fit in this one soooo much better. (My opinion.... also Pre timeskip) OFCOURSE Louis fits in there GREATLY. AND I LOVE IT SOSOSOSOSO MUCH LIKE I LITERALLY CRIED BECAUSE IT WAS SO SAD AND BEAUTIFUL <333 ACTUALLY THANK YOU SOSOSO MUCH FOR SHOWING US ALL OF IT YOURE WRITING IS JUST– mhwa! <3 (⁠๑⁠♡⁠⌓⁠♡⁠๑⁠) (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥ AND I KNOW YOU HEAR THIS A LOT RECENTLY BUT HONESTLY??? YOU DESERVE TO BECAUSE..... YOU..JUST!?!?! SO GOOD WRITING ???? Anyways– eghm... So what I was going to explain right now was how, you mentioned in one of youre post, Albert as a Boyfriend and that he wouldnt like someone who cant keep Hygiene. So I thought that, imagen, reader falling into depression (for whatever reason) and stopped keeping themself clean because of the lack of energy. They stopped showering, brushing theyre teeth etc.. and he started to feel grossed out by them. Not by choice ofcourse. He really doesnt want to feel that way, he loves them with his whole heart and soul. But he cant stand this anymore. He dont want to kiss them or sleep next to them in bed. So he tries to do the right thing and breaks up. He explains to them how he still loves them but cant stay with them any longer if they can't even brush their teeth . He doesnt want to hurt them much more and hopes that they can find help and get better. only to see them 2 days later lying in a cuddle of their own blood. He tries to crush to them, regretting every decision he has made earlier– just like Louis in that one hc. He doesnt want them to die. To think that theyre gross, annoying, stupid, useless, anything but beautiful and extremely Important. But hes too late. Youre already dead. Or so he thought. Just for the doctor to tell him that they had immense luck and that its almost a mirracle how you survived. He's relieved and his knees give way beneath him. This burden and the pressure on his shoulders falls away, almost in tears he asks the worried doctor kneeling next to him if he can see you. You're awake but you try to turn around when you see his face only to be follow by a huge pain in youre body as you tried. He obviosly doesnt care and rushes to youre side. He feels really guilty and apolegises to you. You dont care, you tell him to go away and add ' You left because you felt uncomfortable by the lack of my hygien. That was okay. But dont come back to me and say you care when that was the reason you first left me.' He accepts this and goes home at first. But eventully comes back with flowers while youre asleep. He wants to show you he really did care and peels you some appels. When he held you in his arms, unconscious and bleeing like a dove shot by hunters, he realised how much he could have done to help you. He could have talked, and or showered with you. But instead he just choose to not face it. He won't make this mistake again. Even If you will hate HIM for the Rest of youre life. He will show how much he loves you till get sick of it and just forgive him. He doesnt ever wanna let go of youre Hand anymore. He has experinced the feeling of youre abscence once, and he surely would never want to expierince this another time. Because he's confident that he wouldnt live that over.

Hahaha sorry that was loooong. I would like to hear youre opinion. I Hope you Liked it!! ♥️♥️

WAT THE HELL THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA???

PLEASE DON'T EVEN FEEL REMOTELY WEIRD, BAD OR EMBARRASED ABOUT HOW LONG THIS IS BECAUSE THIS IS SO GOOD I'M GENUINELY SPEECHLESS. HOW IS THIS NOT A FIC YET?? THE POTENTIAL AND THE ANGST IT HAS WOWOOAOA

I can't even stop complimenting you honestly i absolutely love and am utterly and sincerely stunned at how you're able to incorporate two small things i said into creating this masterpiece of an idea??

believe me when i say i waited five minutes contemplating whether to even post this because i didn't want anyone to steal your idea. i'm being so for real right now if you don't want to turn this beautiful plot of an idea into writing yourself for some reason because if it was me i'd trademark this and stamp anything that states my ownership of a plot so delicious (since again, this is so good and has sm potential) then please, please let me at least attempt and and try giving this amazing, almost an artwork plot life someday. not sure if i would even do it justice bro damn but like you'll totally get the credits WOWOAOA. i can't even stop with the compliments because i'm genuinely baffled at how absolutely golden this idea is. god damn. LIKE OKAY SHAKESPEARE.

ANYWAY ARGH LMAOAOA don't mind me fanning over you and this.. i don't even have words left to describe just how good this plot/idea is but YEAH but this is genuinely so good. i'm somehow going back to babbling about how wonderful this is and i don't think I'll be able to stop if I don't end this here because holy shit the potential it carries is astounding and me personally, i love angst so this is.. FUCKKC I CAN'T STOP SAYING HOW GOOD THIS IS. LET ME END THIS HERE FOR REAL NOW — THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS + THE NEVERENDING SUPPORT LOL IM GRATEFUL YOU LIKE MY WRITING <33 I HOOE UOU HAVE THE BESY DAY OF UOUR LIFE

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

5 fics i've enjoyed this month

stealing this idea from @alexturne because i absolutely love the idea of promoting all the amazing talented authors in this fandom more! 💜

missed your bones on me by @glorious-blackout summary: In the aftermath of their blissful reunion at Emirates Stadium, Miles wakes alone in Alex's bed to the sound of a gentle piano melody. Set following Miles' reunion with Arctic Monkeys on 18th June 2023. notes: this fic is absolutely beautiful. full of sadness for the past and hope for the future and just suffused throughout with the kind of bone-deep love that feels so utterly in character for milex. it tugged on my heartstrings in all the best ways, and has my favourite ever portrayal of alex lost in his creative headspace.

some velvet morning by @musette22/@subtle-as-an-earthquake summary: It happens at the OIympia in Paris, just after the show. Their hundredth show. A memorable one for more than just that reason, as it turns out. (Or, the fic in which Alex's body starts talking before his mind does, forcing him to finally realise a thing or two about his relationship with his best friend Miles). notes: oh my lord, this fic 😍 it's like someone (and by someone i mean @subtle-as-an-earthquake) took all my favourite tropes and poured them into a gorgeously written, tension-laden 14k fic that is so stupidly good i've already read it at least three times already 😅 it captures the dynamic between alex and miles SO well - the sense of contrasting complete ease/simmering tension with each other is one of the best portrayals i've ever read of them, and alex's thought process throughout unfolds in a way that feels so utterly (and infuriatingly) in character. the slow build is absolutely delicious, and the culmination of it delivers above and beyond! ✨

sometime in the future by @blacktrickle summary: In a world quite similar to this one, Miles Kane is an international supermodel and Alex Turner is the rockstar who has broken his heart one too many times. Now, two years after their most vicious break up, Alex is asking for one more shot, but this time, Miles won’t make it easy. notes: oh my goddddd THIS FIC 😭😭 i put off reading it for ages because i had this sneaking little suspicion it was going to destroy me - and i was right. destroy me it has, in the BEST possible way. i literally cannot recommend it enough. the writing and depth of character portrayal is just stunning, and i am completely and utterly hooked. i'm actually only halfway through rn, but already i know that this fic is one that's going to stay with me in my heart for the longest time - and can't wait to see where it's heading.

you've got control of everyone's eyes (including mine) by @alexturne summary: It's 2005 and the Arctic Monkeys are about to set out on their first proper tour. Alex is quite happy with that, until a certain someone gets in the way and spoils it all. A story about facing hardships, insecurities and stage fright, about friendships, dreams, music and smoking too many fucking cigarettes in dark back alleys. About keeping your friends close, and perhaps your enemies even closer. notes: i'm only three chapters in, but already this fic has hooked me in completely. it's beautifully readable, and just feels like such a vivid slice of early era am life. alex and miles are absolutely INSUFFERABLE in the best possible way - clearly obsessed with each other, but hiding behind the idea that they hate each other. the constantly simmering ust is wonderfully written, and the way they relate with each other feels so authentic (even if it also makes me want to knock their heads together). i can't wait to see where this fic goes 😍

ain't got anything to lick without you baby by @elorianna summary: At some point during their usual stage antics, Alex and Miles start playing an innocent game of one-upmanship – but with neither one of them willing to back down, things eventually get a little bit out of hand… notes: listen, i've read this one before. and i'll read it a bunch of times again too because it's just a CLASSIC. one of the first ever milex fics i read and i find myself returning to it over and over because it's just such a fun little read, and of course so well written too because it's elorianna. it captures all the ridiculousness and ust of eycte era milex messing around with each other, and the smut is well - *fans self*

okay, that's all for this month, but i think i'm going to try and do this every month and make it a regular thing! if anyone has any fic recs for me then please feel free to drop them in the comments/my asks/dms - i'm always on the lookout for more milex fics 💗

[basketballanonsblog]

The lyrics of 'Enchanted' by Taylor Swift had some influence when I wrote this, so shoutout to Tay-Tay

TW ⚠️ : mentions of blood, violence, and d***h. Nsfw for smut. Flashbacks are in italics

Enchanted pt.2

"Why did you fall in love with me?" She asked one day. You were by the coast, watching the sunset.

"It was a series of different things accumulating together but if you want a more specific answer, it would be because of how I felt when we first met."

"I was irked when you called me reckless." Jihyo pouted, making you laugh.

"I didn't mean it, your actions showed courage. I only said that because I was flustered at the sound of your voice." She raised an eyebrow at you.

"How come I'm only finding this out now?"

You shrugged.

"I was simply enchanted my darling.

It felt like my heart sighed when I first saw you. Almost like it was relieved that we met."

Her eyes were glazed with unshed tears. She felt the warmth of your words seep into her body and soul. She leaned and breathed you in, letting her eyes close in bliss.

"I love you so much."

The machines beeped in the background, your operation had its bumps along the way, you flat lined, due to blood loss.

But you made it.

"I thought angels are supposed to be bulletproof." She delicately held your hand, eyes red from crying.

"Usually, we are."

"Then why did y/n get injured?"

"Our father let her keep her wings, but she's not an angel anymore. You could say she's more like superhuman, her abilities are still enhanced, but nevertheless, she's human. Meaning-"

"She's mortal."

"Exactly."

"She could've died, yet she jumped in front of me." The lingering feeling of your blood on her hands made Jihyo nauseous. 

"Y/n really gave up her status?"

"Yes. It's romantic isn't it? That a celestial being, without hesitation, would sacrifice their divinity to save the person they love." He looks at Jihyo "Because a world without them, is utterly unbearable."

He fixes the hospital blanket. "I used to find it baffling, but I think I

understand now."

It was overwhelming to Jihyo, she knows you love her, she just didn't realise the depth of it.

"It's not your fault."

"Sure feels like it is."

"You didn't shoot her, Jihyo. Regardless of what happens, she would take those bullets every time. Your safety means so much to her; to this day, y/n blames herself for what happened to you all those years ago. You heard what she said earlier right?"

"She was willing to let me go. Willing to have her heart broken, as long as I'm happy. But I can't be happy, knowing that she's in pain because of me."

"Yes, I think it's established that y/n would break herself if she thought it would benefit you. On her phone, you're saved as naui cheonsa. "

"My angel."

"Right. So while you think you've caused her distress, the last thing she would do is hold it against you. To y/n, you're her reason to keep living."

He smiled and stood up.

"I better get going. She'll be awake soon, you two have a lot to talk about. I'll be back in a few days."

"Thank you Lucifer. Really.

~x~

Jihyo was texting the members, when you woke up.

"Hey." You managed to croak out. With speed that would put the Flash to shame, she took you into her arms; resting her head against your shoulder.

"You stayed."

"Of course I stayed." She tightened her grip. "How could I leave you, after all that happened? Does it hurt?"

"Not when I'm with you."

A slap to the shoulder she leaned against just seconds ago.

"Idiot."

"Wha- hey!"

"Don't try to sweet talk me. Why did you have to do that? You nearly died."

"I couldn't let you get hurt. Not again."

"So what then huh?!" Her voice wavered. "You'll condemn me to the same fate? To suffer the loss of the one I love?"

Jihyo loves me?

Your thumb caressed her cheek, wiping the tears away.

"I'm here. I'm okay." She fell into your arms, sobbing.

"I was terrified. How on earth did you cope with carrying that grief for decades?"

"It was difficult, but for you? I would've waited an eternity."

She smiled, and to you, she would always be the most beautiful human you have ever seen.

"Y/n I love you."

"I love you so much. I have loved you for nearly my entire existence."

Your nose brushed against hers, as you stole a glance at her lips.

"May I?"

"Please."

Being wounded and in a hospital room isn't where you imagined sharing your (second) first kiss with the woman you love, but honestly? As long as you were with Jihyo, you wouldn't change a thing.

~x~

After waiting three months, the man who had shot you was incarcerated.

"We can finally put it behind us." You made a noise of agreement, as she snuggled into your arms.

"With how furious Lucifer was, I'm surprised he didn't-"

"Kill him? In his mind that would've been almost merciful. In due time he will be punished."

"Have you ever...?"

"Once."

"Who?"

"The bastard who took you away from me. It seemed fitting that I use the same knife he used on you. I never regretted it."

Momentary silence.

"Are you afraid of me now?"

"Never, but how did your family take it?"

"He's dead, y/n."

You slumped, defeated.

"It's not fair." You wept. "It should've been me, not her."

"Y/n."

"What do you want Amenadiel?" Amenadiel, the eldest among your brothers.

"Father has requested your presence. Lucifer can stay and dispose of the body."

You were silent on the journey back. Despite the nerves, you stood firm in the face of your father.

"What on earth have you done?"

"I only delivered justice-"

"It is not your place to declare yourself as humanity's judge!  I never should have permitted you to go to earth. That mortal has been nothing but a distraction and a bad influence. She has clouded your mind."

"That mortal has brought me nothing but happiness. You will not disrespect her."

The contact echoed as he slapped you. It didn't faze you, you have been numb ever since that night.

"Do not talk back to me."

"Father. She didn't deserve this, please bring her back."

"You have some nerve asking me that. This is an outlandish request, even for you y/n. You are not the first or last person to lose someone. I cannot outright bend the rules for you, regardless of the fact you are my child."

Your hands clenched, tears flowing while you dropped to your knees, head bowed.

"Then I beg of you, turn me human."

"What?"

"Turn me human. Everything is meaningless without her."

"You would give up your birthright for her?"

"Yes." You answered a little too quickly for your father's liking.

He stormed off, muttering obscenities before ranting to your mother.

"At least show some empathy to our daughter. She has just lost her first love. You remember what it's like to fall in love? We're lucky, because the fragility of life doesn't apply to us.

He returned after talking to his wife, but the sight of you still kneeling was unexpected.

He mimicked you.

"This human, she means that much to you?" He asked gently. You nodded tiredly.

"Father, I love her. I do not wish to live in a world where she doesn't exist."

He had never heard you sound so broken. Even if he had high expectations, you were still his firstborn. What kind of parent wants to see their child in pain?

He sighed and conceded, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Okay."

She sniffed through the retelling of the memory.

"You always end up crying whenever I tell you of our past." You teased.

"Well, sometimes, when you're feeling so much love inside, it can spill out."

You nearly fell asleep, when her voice cut through.

"Do you miss the past?"

"Now and again. We first met and fell in love in a different era. Things back then were a lot less complicated, but had I stayed hung up on the past, then we wouldn't have met today."

She looked down, nervously playing with the hem of your shirt.

"What's wrong?" She hesitated. "Please my love, tell me what troubles you."

"Sometimes I worry that I'm too different to the Jihyo you knew back then. That I'm not enough."

You just wanted to kiss all her fears away. You tilted her chin up so that you can look at her directly.

"In each lifetime we live through, I will choose and wholeheartedly love every version of you."

She captured your lips, moving so she was partially lying on top of you and you let yourselves get lost in the moment. Jihyo pulled away when she needed air.

"Can I see them?"

"See what?"

"Your wings." That took you by surprise.  "You don't have to." She backtracked.

You shifted to sit at the end of the bed, leaving her by the pillows.

"You might want to keep a bit of distance." With your back turned to her, you pulled your shirt off, and removed your bra. Poor Jihyo went red at the sight of your bare skin.

Your white wings slowly spread out, leaving her in awe.

She crawled to you, her fingers outstretched, but unmoving.

"It's alright, you can touch them."

She didn't expect your wings to feel warm, as she traced every pristine inch of the soft feathers. What she didn't realise, was that you were on the verge of trembling. In the past, Jihyo was the only one to have touched your wings. It had been so long, you had forgotten how sensitive they were; and to be touched like that by the only woman you have loved, it awoke dormant feelings.

Your breaking point was when you felt her lips against your recently attained scar. Her lips trailed kisses up your back before settling on the sliver of skin in between where your wings attached to your body.

Your pupils had dilated, leaving your eyes looking almost all black, when you turned to her.

"Come here." Your voiced dropped an octave, making her shiver.

You kissed her, hard. You moaned as you felt her tongue run along your lower lip, seeking entrance.

Without breaking apart, she laid down, pulling you on top. You moved your mouth to her jaw and neck.

"No marks."

In a haste, her top and bra were also thrown away. You worshipped her body with your hands and lips. Every noise she made, was music to your ears.

You removed the rest of her clothes, leaving her completely bare to you. She nodded when you silently asked if you could continue.

Settling between her legs, you dipped your head low, tongue against her core. Jihyo moaned and threw her head back at the sensation, her legs instinctively widened. Your nose pressed against her clit as you pushed your tongue inside.

Her fingers gripped your hair, keeping your head still as she rocked her body into you.

Her walls tightened, but you pulled out before she could climax, your mouth glistening with her arousal. Before she could whine, you changed positions. You sat upright, with Jihyo straddling your lap.

Two of your fingers found their place in her tight heat. She moved up and down, her nails would dig into your shoulders each time you curled your fingers.

"Don't stop."

Since she was close before, it didn't take long for her to climax. You gasped at the sudden rush of liquid coating your fingers and thigh.

She slumped into your arms, panting in the crook of your neck.

The next kiss between you was soft. You would never get tired of looking into the infinite pools of her eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

A yawn escaped.

"Sleepy already y/n?"

"Forgive me my love. I'm not as energetic as I was before."

"Then I guess we have to work on your stamina hm?"

"Where are you going?" You pouted as she wriggled out of your grasp.

"Shower."

The sound of water was calming enough to send you to the edge of sleep until she cleared her throat. You cracked an eye open, to see her peer out of the bathroom.

"Care to join me?"

Oh well, sleep was overrated anyway.

[xxcallmemaryxx]

Swiss/GNreader

Swiss is enchanted by you. So in return he decides to enchant you... just a little differently. 

No smut but VERY NUDE GHOUL and very suggestive.

Today has been such a good day. The weather was perfect, you didn't have any chores to do, you relaxed with your friends in the church gardens almost all day. Just soaking up the sun and catching up on things you haven't been able to before now. It left you feeling refreshed and in a really good mood. 

It's early afternoon, you say your goodbyes to your friends and head back down to your room. A nap sounds really really good right now. Just a quick one. Or maybe you'll just tidy things up around your room. You wonder what's happening for dinner tonight. You are hungry… perhaps you could have a quick snack… you're so lost in your train of thought you don't realise you've made it to the door that leads into the common room you share with Copia’s ghouls. 

After swinging the door open you let yourself in and start to think about what you're going to eat before you're forced to stop dead in your tracks. 

Your eyes go wide. Your blood freezes in your veins. Your heart stops beating.  

Sitting just opposite you, on the other side of the room is Swiss. Sitting pretty perched on the bench… completely naked. 

Your eyes meet. He cocks his head to the side and breaks out into the cheekiest smile you've ever seen. You have no words. Was this on purpose? Have you walked in on something that was meant for someone else? The door is still wide open. You could just slip back through it and pretend this never happened to save yourself a world of embarrassment. 

But god…. He's so pretty. Putting himself on display. Legs open, hands on either side of his thighs, with the most cunning look adorned on his face. You're using every single ounce of self control you could possibly muster, forcing your eyes to stay on his and not flick down just slightly…

“You gonna close it or you want the whole church to see what belongs to you?” 

Oh. 

Oh okay. 

You slam the door shut behind you. But keep your feet planted on the ground. 

“Mine?” you ask him.

“Mmmhmm” he hums back at you. He can't seem to wipe the grin off his face. Clearly pleased with your reaction, and very smug that his little plan worked so well. 

But he can tell you're a little unsure…. Not for long though…

“You wanna play with me?” 

You start to take small steps closer at his question. Finally letting your eyes travel down… down ….down. Ohhhhhhhhh my god.

Every inch of him is absolutely perfect. So handsome yet so fucking pretty. Your knees are weak, your mouth is dry. You're struggling to find words. 

When you finally reach him. You reach out and let your hands feel his skin. Dragging them up and down his flexed arms, down his chest and across his stomach… then down his muscled thighs stopping at his knees. He hooks a leg around your back and slowly pulls you closer into him. Now you're stood between his legs staring up at him as he smirks down at you. 

“Hmmmm? You wanna play with me? Because I wanna play with you…” he whispers into your ear. Your breath hitches in your throat and your cheeks flush at how forward he is. He is utterly intoxicating. 

You bring your hands up again, letting them linger on his bare chest. His muscles twitch at the contact your cold fingers make with his heated skin. 

“Mine…?” you ask again. You need to make sure you're not hallucinating this. You can't be. His scent, the heat radiating off him, the way his voice… as smooth as honey, confirms to you that you are indeed his….

“Yes sweetness…all yours” and at that he dips his head down to let his lips latch themselves onto your neck. Your hands grab hold of his shoulders to hold yourself up. You can already feel your legs giving out on you.

When you release a breathy moan at the small amount of pleasure he has awarded you… he pulls away and rests his forehead of yours. 

“Lets go bub… i'm all yours until the sun rises” he whispers to you again. He doesn't want to ruin the mood, he doesn't want to rip you out of the blissed out state you seem to be in already. And fuck he has barely had you yet. You don't even realise how tightly you have him wrapped around your little finger. The things he would do for you. The feelings you unknowingly pull from him, he has yet to understand himself. 

The two of you will sort that out another time. But for now.. He has a promise to keep up. 

So he hops off the bench, takes your hand in his and leads you, still with a fuzzy mind from a simple kiss on the neck, into his room and straight into his bed. Where he keeps you for hours. 

Even after the sun rose.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

Hello I'm a new fan of your blog and I just wanted to ask your opinion on something Sandman related because I just love your takes and how they provide such an in-depth perspective. Before Lucifer asks Dream to cut his wings, he states that he is very tired and that is why he is quitting Hell, and that Dream states the same thing on the cliff to Death just before Morpheus dies. Can you share your thoughts on that?

i definitely can! (and thank you!)

so, this is the page you're talking about, yeah?

and we'll get to that in a minute, but first this has made me realise i haven't read the first couple pages of this issue since the first time i read them, before i knew how this would end

and wow i did not realise how early dream's suicidal nature was set up, bc this is only like. three issues after the show left off

so that's gonna be breaking my heart for a while!

but it's also exceedingly relevant, bc as i covered very explicitly here, dream hit the critical point with his depression centuries if not millenia ago. and the thing he clings onto to stay alive is nothing to do with anything he actually wants, it's the fact that he sees responsibility as utterly mandatory. he's exceedingly lawful, he will never do anything that would involve giving up or endangering the dreaming, no matter how much he wants to, that's just not who he is

(my personal favourite kindly ones panels illustrating that particular point)

but dream and responsibility comes up absolutely everywhere, if i was to list every single moment i'd be quoting half the comic

and because it's such a strong theme, he's placed in contrast with people who were in the same position, but made the selfish choice (note: i do not use selfish as a bad word here, it's a good thing in this situation, but dream cannot see that, as far as he's concerned choosing yourself over your duties is the greatest crime someone can commit)

first, as you said, we get lucifer. (arguably actually the corinthian, but, first explicit). and lucifer’s still mostly an antagonist, even if they have entirely relatable motives, and aren’t terrible to talk to. and lucifer leaves hell because they were exhausted, in a very similar way to dream, they’ve played the perfect part for billions of years, but they just can’t anymore, they have to choose their own well being, and dream gave them a convenient way out. but they specifically give hell to dream, because they promised to destroy him.

and dream and lucifer know each other very well. just as dream gets to pull lines like the dreaming of heaven one, lucifer knows exactly how much this all gets to dream. because lucifer’s in the same position, and dream is so chronically lawful that whatever choice he makes with the key to hell, lucifer will have won. change or die, right? the central theme of the series. either dream gives up his responsibility, and therefore fundamentally changes, or dream gets crushed under the pressure. either way lucifer wins.

and i don’t think lucifer wanted it to be one or the other, honestly. they get this line in kindly ones, clearly they do have some level of empathy for someone stuck in the same situation that just can’t get themselves out of it. as is always the way with lucifer, in any canon, their victory is always also a fall

then there’s destruction. and i won’t go into a full analysis of brief lives bc this post is getting long enough already, but he’s a really important part of this too. because he’s not an antagonist, he’s dream’s younger brother, he's not malicious or contrary and he's part of the family, which means that if he's in the same situation, he understands. and as much as dream may have interpreted it as betrayal, he didn’t leave to spite dream, he left to try and make a positive change in the world, and because he had to - continuing to be one of the endless just wasn’t feasible. like lucifer and dream, he's exhausted and something has to give. lucifer and destruction decided that would be their domains. dream has always placed that burden on himself. and destruction tries so hard to get dream to realise he can leave, he's always had the ability to leave, and if the pressure is killing him he has to. but, as destruction says, the hard part was always getting dream to listen

death in the show is also an interesting one. because there's that bit in sound of her wings where she talks about how she almost gave up and left, and dream just stops walking and stares at her

and given all the comics context that just reads as being absolutely unable to process that, because he always saw death as someone like him, someone who would always put her duty above herself. he can accept lucifer giving up and he can put destruction out of his mind but death is the person he most looks up to. so obviously (to his mind) she's perfect and has no flaws and that means she can't have ever felt the way he does, because he shouldn't feel this way, it's wrong and not what he was made for

(that's another huge problem of dream's. ignoring his own issues and not doing things that would help him cope because those are human things, endless shouldn't want or need them, this is childish and he just needs to get over it)

and like. one of the themes of sandman, i think, is honestly that this much power isn't healthy for anyone? none of the endless are okay, none of the angels are okay, very few deities are either. and they all have their different coping mechanisms, death's being one of the significantly healthier ones. she's the closest to human an endless can be, she's aware of her own needs and problems, and she no longer tries to solve things alone. she's been where dream is, but she got the endless equivalent of therapy, whereas dream is kinda putting all of his problems in a box and sitting on it so the lid looks like it's closed and not overflowing with trauma. and she tries so hard to get through to him, to get some of those strategies to stick in his mind, but ultimately, dream is not death. and her words are only a stop gap measure

which honestly, is the most compelling thing about tragedy, for me, and why those two kindly ones panels are my favourite. because a well written tragedy will give the protagonist a thousand ways out, the way to avoid this all has to be so easy. but the tragedy is built around its central character. and if that character were ever to take any of those ways out, they'd stop being themselves

[zhouxiangs]

(2/2 - back to the bitchiness!)

Babe can cry all he wants about not feeling worthy of love, but he knew Way loved him (romantically or not), and it always looked like he had a good thing going with Alan too, and the team in general were pretty close - found family I thought?? He was by no means starved of affection until Charlie arrived on the scene. It might just be a personal thing, but I will, 9 times out of 10, always root for the shared history over the instalove, unless the latter is incredibly well-written and portrayed. And I'm sorry, but for me Charlie/Babe falls short on both counts. I genuinely don't like to criticise real ppl who've done nothing wrong, but I don't think I'm alone in feeling Charlie is a weak link in a fairly uniformly strong cast, and it becomes particularly glaring when playing next to actors like Pavel and Nut. Add to that the way they've styled him (with the stupid oversized glasses - as a glasses-wearer myself, this is a pet peeve!), and he looks to me like nothing more than a silly kid playing at being a grown-up (not sure what their ages are meant to be so maybe he is!). And then when it comes to being so amazing/special that he completely changes Babe's world...admittedly, I don't pay attention during his scenes so maybe I've missed something, but from what I can gather, he became obsessed with someone he'd never met, stalked him for a bit, deliberately infiltrated his personal and professional life, approached him with the intent of making him fall in love with him, and repeatedly lied to him about devastating truths? But it's okay, romantic in fact, because it was all just in service of saving his life? (Thank you btw for your own service in previously pointing out this correlation tween him and Way!) From what I see, all he does is slavishly worship Babe and be really good in bed? Personally, I don't think that makes for a particularly healthy and sustainable relationship! (And to be fair, this is again probably a flaw in the writing: because Babe is the main character, the way his relationships are portrayed disproportionately champion him, not the other person - it's about ppl doing things in service of him, supporting him, loving him - we see much less of what he actually gives back, of him supporting them, of why these ppl want him in their lives (besides having Pavel's face), and that can make these relationships seem very one-sided. Undoubtedly my bias showing through yet again, but I think those montages of Way and Babe's friendship, however brief, did a really good job of allowing the viewer to easily picture how that relationship came to be and why it meant so much to both of them.)

Sorry if I’ve been harsh – it’s all still meant in the spirit of constructive criticism (with maybe the teeniest hint of pettiness)! It’s just that, while everyone else is crying over Babe/Charlie, I’m still here obsessing over the idea of a young Way experiencing the devastating realisation that he can never ever tell the person he's fallen utterly in love with the truth about himself, because the second Babe knows he will never trust him again, never TOUCH him again. And, in a way, that realisation cements Way’s fate, because even if he wanted to thwart Tony’s plan, how could he do so without first revealing it, and thus revealing himself?

And somehow even worse is the fact that, if you think about it (don’t - it hurts), even if he’d escaped from Tony eons ago, Way was always doomed by his own power to be alone, because, let’s face it, would you ever completely trust someone who can do what he can? Wouldn’t a tiny part of you always be wondering if that brush of the hand, that easy arm over the shoulder, that comforting hug, was entirely innocent? If your thoughts were always entirely your own? And that just breaks my heart more than anything else in this show!

mm you're right, but i don't think it was love he was missing but romantic love. babe had friends and a family all rolled into one and they all seemed to have a great relationship, but as he said himself, he didn't want or need (romantic) love. it was meeting charlie and spending time with him (and being able to do so because of charlie's lack of stinky alpha pheromones) that made him realise that was something he wanted. yes he fell in love pretty quickly, but i think it's believable, specially considering it's his first love. people have been talking about this extensively so i don't really have anything to add, but it's so important to me how smitten babe is with charlie; there's the whole baddie aesthetic vs softie personality, screw toxic masculinity, Boys Can Be Soft Actually… i have 0 objectivity, he's perfect to me. i love romance and i love my car racing babygirl.

i know people are interpreting this differently and maybe i'm just wrong, or this may be a translation issue/something that's clearer in thai, but imo when babe said the line about sometimes feeling like he wasn't worthy of love bc of what way told him he was referring specifically to that one time we saw way manipulate him, and that it wasn't something that happened regularly. sorry i know i keep saying this, but i genuinely believe the focus on the escalating levels of manipulation wasn't only so we'd notice but because we were supposed to notice way's desperation and how he went from doing it occasionally to "help" babe (that first time in ep 2) to… everything that came later. not to drag way but he wasn't doing shit for those 10 years other than buying babe time by waiting for him to magically love him back. how tf did he convince tony lmao maybe tony just wasn't in any rush to get babe back yet since he knew he could do it whenever he needed him.

oh no you are fully right, pooh isn't the strongest actor (i used to think lee/dean was the weakest out of the cast because of some awkward moments during the first eps but then the garage scene happened and i cannot say that anymore, he was fecking amazing) which isn't surprising since it's his first role, but i also think it adds a certain charm to the character; charlie recently graduated so i believe he's around 22 (i was told a while back he's 20 in the novel, if that's relevant? and alan tells babe that jeff (20) and charlie are the same age but unlike koreans who ime usually mean born in the same year when they say that, i've seen things like a 27 yo being happy he's working with "people his age" talking about people aged 23 to 25, so…) and he is trying to save babe from their evil adoptive father and all his power basically by himself, so "a silly kid playing at being a grown-up" is an accurate description imo lol he really is a brave, naive, optimistic kid, and that's what will make him succeed ultimately. i super believe in you charlie pit babe. also please do not come for charlie's styling, he's wearing my glasses lmao (they're normal sized?? or we have the same temple to cheekbones ratio, so yes, they just look like that) (also people please prioritise field of view over glasses size) (this was funny btw, don't think i was offended!)

waynnie, i am in my way feels 24/7. i cannot stop thinking about his isolation even when he had the team and his best friend by his side because as much as they felt like a family to him, his secret was always (and was always going to be) between them like a persistent ghost. i cannot stop thinking about his anxiety meds (afaik triazolam is used in my country to treat transitory insomnia, btw, but i'm not a doctor and we're going with the subs) and about how if he'd wanted to tell babe about tony earlier he would have had to tell him everything which would make him lose the only good things he has in his life, so no wonder he needs those meds. and not to sound like a broken record, but again, it's a fact that both charlie and way approached babe under false pretenses and both fell in love with him, but because way did so under tony's orders and not of his own volition this is somehow unforgivable…? intent is important and charlie was lying for a good reason, he wouldn't have been able to get close to babe by telling him the truth, but ultimately both of them lied and if we're judging only that fact they're either both wrong or both right, pick one.

i also keep thinking about the parallel of touch and having feelings about (possible) pete powers that the show will probably invalidate in a few hours. and because i love pain and suffering, i keep thinking how people's reaction to knowing someone can manipulate them just by touching them would be worse to their already horrible reaction to knowing someone can see their future by touching them, so yeah. we love it here in the pit babe of despair.

[fxlling13]

Can you do a Doctor 13th fic with prompts 34,8, and 9. I was hoping to see a jealous reader fic that is jealous of Yaz and the doctor makes a promise to take the reader to Venice but instead the doctor breaks the promise on the day they agree and starts hanging out with yaz which makes the reader jealous and upset. Your fics are great btw keep up the great work.

Hey, sorry this took so long. It's been busy recently. I know this isn't my best work but I really needed to get it out. Again I apologise.

Warning: none

Plot: ^^^^

13th doctor x reader

They were doing it again. I watched from the steps of the console room, as the doctor and Yaz stood there laughing. It almost physically hurt to watch them be so friendly. Hands touching, falling into each other. What I'd give to be Yaz, just for one day. To have the doctors attention. Then again, she wasn't mine so my jealousy was utterly stupid.

"Oh (y/n), how long have you been there?" Looking up, yaz smiled at me, coming to stand at the bottom of the steps. I just shrugged, redirecting my attention to one of the pillars. Taken aback by my response, the doctor whispered to her and she ran off quickly.

"What's wrong?" She asked, taking a seat beside me. There was no way to word it without being obviously.

"Just, feels like you spend more time with yaz than me." I told her honestly, playing with my fingers. The blonde shifted slightly, nodding her head.

"Feels like I'm not needed at times."

"Hey! No. That's not true at all. You know what? We're gonna go on a trip tomorrow. Just the two of us." Eyes lighting up, I turned to her with a grin on my face.

"Really?" She jumped up and smiled down at me.

"I'll take you to Venice in the late twentieth century. Beautiful little city, you'll love it." Now extremely excited, I bobbed my head and stood myself up. Maybe I'd been worrying for nothing?

"Go get some rest, alright?" I agreed and bid her goodnight, before heading off to my room. A new hope was there for me now.

When I say I made myself dizzy with how fast I got ready, I'm not lying. Tying up my shoes, I grabbed my jacket and head for the console room. No one was there, that was odd. The doctor was always there, so where was she? Dropping my coat to the side, I began to wander through the corridors in search of the blonde. She wasn't in the kitchen, or pool room, or the trampoline room. Eventually, I found myself at the library and pushed thr door open. Of course, I found them, both. The doctor and yaz were sat on the sofa, laughing again. The younger had her head on the others shouting. The doctor was holding her arm. When the door creaked, they snapped their heads towards me, still smiling. Thinking that the doc would see me, get up and do as she'd promised; it hurt in my heart when she looked confused.

"You look nice, going somewhere?" Digging my nails into my palms, I pressed my lips together and shook my head.

"No." With that, I turned on my heel and ran for my room. I slammed my door shut and sat on the bed. Why was I still here at this point? It was clear, I was the third wheel.

"Hey, why did you run off?" The doctor burst in without knocking, just irking me more.

"Doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. You look really upset. Have I done something?" Slowly, I turned my head towards her and scoffed. Standing up, I stalked over and glared up at the blonde.

"Have you done something? Seriously?" She just blinked at me, not knowing what to sat.

"That's what I asked, yeah." My jaw shook, how could she be this oblivious? That forgetful? Was I really that unimportant?

"Does twentieth century Venice ring a bell doctor?" Her face drained of colour as she slowly came to the realisation.

"Oh. I'm sorry (y/n). We can still go if you like?" Shaking my head, I turned away from her. I couldn't do this anymore.

"No. You go have your little play dates with yaz. I'm sure she's missing you." I spat, probably too aggressive but I didn't care at this point.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard! Go away!" For a second, she was silent and I thought she'd actually listened. Until her hand landed on my shoulder to spin me back round.

"Why are you so upset?" Tears rolled down my cheeks, it hurt even seeing her.

"You promised me! And you forgot. Because of her." I stuttered out, rubbing my face harshly. The doctor shook her head, trying to find the right words to say. But I doubted there was any at this point.

"Do you trust me?" Eyes trailing over her face, she was looking at me desperately and I just shrugged.

"I dont know anymore." I could practically see her whole demeanor change, she bowed her head in shame. What worried me is when her shoulders began shaking.

"Doctor?"

"I can never do anything right, can I? I don't know how to handle these emotions. So what do I do? Ask yaz. Where does that land me? With me hurting you! I can't..." she trailed off, biting down on her lips to supress her sadness. The doctor sat on my bed, putting her head in her hands.

"The last person I let myself love was...and I got her stuck on some parallel world. Now I've driven you away." Taking a seat beside her, I placed my hand on her back.

"What?"

"I just wanted advice. I didn't want to mess it up." The doctor croaked out, tears dripping onto her lap. Nothing she was saying made sense though, but it hurt to see her so sad. Even if I felt forgotten, I didn't want to see her like this.

"Advice on what?"

"You! How to ask you out. How to be romantic. What you like. What you want. All I wanted from yaz, was how to get you to be mine." Her outburst caught me off guard and I found myself blushing at her words.

"This morning I went to her, asking how to impress you on our trip to Venice. She started teasing me about my feelings and I got distracted." Looking up at me slowly, she smiled sadly.

"I didn't forget. I promise. I could never forget about you." More tears rolled down her cheeks, breaking my heart in the process. Lifting my hand, I wiped them away carefully.

"Doctor. All you ever had to do was be yourself."

"Really?" She stuttered, hope hidden in her eyes. Humming, I gave her a small smile. I shuffled closer and cupped her cheeks.

"All I ever want is to spend time with you. I want to be with you and it always felt like you wanted yaz." Immediately, the doctor frowned, not liking what she was hearing. Casting my eyes down, I let out a breath.

"I understood, why would you want me over her?" She gripped my shirt in her fists, tugging me closer, which caught me off guard.

"You're brilliant. The most amazing human I've met."

"You mean that?"

"I can prove it." The doctor mumbled, pulling me in and placing her lips against mine. After the initial shock subsided, I kissed back; srns finding their way around her neck.

"You see?" She mumbled against my lips, hands moving to cup my cheeks. Nodding, I smipered and pecked her lips repeatedly until she began laughing.

"Alright you. I do believe I owe you a trip?"

"Indeed. I was quite looking forward to Venice." The doctor beamed, grabbing my hand and my coat with the other.

"Oh and (y/n)?" Looking at her in question, she gave me a genuine smile.

"Know that yaz will never get in the way of us okay?" Placing a kiss to her cheek, I grinned.

"I know, doctor. I trust you."

[ohtobeleah]

I LOVED the part in part 2 where the reader is like stuck in Vecna's dreamscape and he's trying to convince the reader that she isn't loved.

that would have been an actual memory the reader had with Steve at one point though? but completely the opposite right?

Unambiguous love Masterlist

Oh for sure. It would have been one of your most beloved memories with Steve, which makes it all the more heartbreaking to see it play out and how much damage Vecna is able to do to your mental stability and self worth in the short place of what could have been six minutes in total. 

But in terms of the actual memory? I could see it playing out something along the lines of this: 

It's your break, feeling like a sweet reprieve on your half an hour retreat from the rush of an ungodly amount of customers taking advantage of the one sale Waldenbooks has every year. You'd never seen so many people flood the aisles, usually an empty paradox. Making the five second trip it takes to visit the one person who managed to have your heart skipping beats like you were going into cardiac arrest every time you shared the same room as him. Steve Harrington. You hadn't realised how deep you were in it before it was too late, starting to second guess every aspect of yourself. Was Steve just being nice people he was a genuinely nice person or were you truly becoming more than friends. 

“What's up Y/L/N!” Steve beamed from behind the counter, his Scoops Ahoy uniform so utterly stupid it made you laugh every time you saw him wearing it. A true fashion statement if there ever was one. But he could instantly see some form of existential crisis plaguing you from behind your eyes. Usually clear and full of love, somehow smogged and distant. “Hey you good?” Without hesitation, Steve was handing his scoop to Robin, coming out from behind the counter to see you, up close and personal. Whisking you away to an empty booth. 

“Its so stupid–” you sighed, sliding into the booth as Steve followed you, trapping you between the wall and himself. An arm casually falling around the back of the booth as he closed you in. “Steve–”

“No seriously.” Steve interrupted. “Whats wrong Y/L/N? You're scaring me.” 

“Are we like, friends?” you began to try to explain where your head was at, feeling out of place to question someone else's feelings about you because you were feeling off about yourself, about where you stood with Steve and where he stood with you. “Or are we becoming more than friends?” The silence was deafening, Steve's eyes lingered on you, burning holes into your skin, hot and full of concern. Was this your way of letting him down gently? Were you trying to tell him you didn't like him like that? Were you trying to tell him you wanted to just be friends or even worse? Not friends at all. Steve could feel his heart beating out of his chest with panic. He hadn't felt love like this before. He didn't think you could break his heart before he even gave you a chance to hold it. But here you were, about to rip it right from his chest through his stupid salor uniform. “Because if we aren’t and i'm reading this all wrong, i'd rather you tell me to my face now so i can get you out of my system, i could manage it now but if i–” 

“Wait–” Steve tried to process what you were saying but it wouldn't compute. “Do you think that– wait hold up, Y/n no I–” Stumbling over his worlds Steve moved a little closer to you, his hip right next to yours as he fumbled for your hand, his fingers intertwined with yours. “I like you, alot.” it burned to say because he hadnt been honest with his emotions since his breakup with Nancy Wheeler. “So much, why would you think that I didn't?” 

“Because you’re you Steve, and i'm me and sometimes you make me feel like i'm flying and i feel like this could be real and other times i feel like i'm making all this up in my head because some guy is actually nice to me for once instead of trying to get in my pants for a new notch in his belt–” it caught you by surprise, the way his lips felt against your. The warmth and softness mixed in with such devotion and greed for your touch, the taste of a first kiss prominent. “Steve–”

“I wanna do this right this time, with you, with us.” Steve began to explain his motives. “I just wanna do this right and dont wanna rush you, no labels, no pressure, no overthinking, i just want to experience you for you and be able to get to know you before there's an us and everything becomes mixed and entangled because it will, it always will–” there was a moment of silence as Steve caught his breathe after spewing his guts to you. All you could do was sit still speechless, Steve harrington liked you and you liked him back and it felt so elementary but right all at the same time. “But please don't think for a second that you're not the best thing that's happened to me in a very long time.” 

“Okay now you sound ridiculous.” you smirked, your eyes soft as you leaned into Steve's side. His arm coming to rest around your shoulders. “I can't even begin to compare myself with the women you surround yourself with on a daily basis. Robin, Nancy–”

“Why would you compare yourself? Its you sitting with me now, isn't it?” it's you, it’ll always be you.” It was the way Steve leaned in once again that had you melting into him, his lips soft against yours as he begged you for more, allowing him more as your tongue danced with his slowly. The taste of him so sweet, like nectar. “It's you, not Robin who I'm sure actually secretly may be poisoning my water or Nancy who’s just so far in the past it's crazy, it's you, so just let it be you.” 

“You're pretty corny, you know that right.” you chuckled, leaning into Steve as he kissed your forehead gently. “But okay, but if you break my heart harrington, i swear to god, i'll remember this moment.”

“Ah, something tells me you’re gonna break mine a lot sooner than I could ever break yours.” Steve sassed. “But I'm not going anywhere, so it looks like you’re stuck with me Y/L/N. You're just gonna have to deal with it until I find the courage to ask you out, take you on a date down to Lovers Lake and just win you over with my charm and incredibly handsome genetics.” Steve wiggled his eyebrows as you softly chuckled to yourself, shaking your head. 

“How about we just make a deal to not break each other's hearts? That sounds like the easiest option, right?” you teased, looking at steve as he looked at you. Eyes trailing once again to your lips as you did the same. Drinking in the sight of Steve, glowing. 

“Deal.” 

[sidekickjoey]

Congrats on 3k! I realise I've somehow gone all this time and not followed you 🤣 Anyway I'd love a steddie ficlet 🍦 "Going somewhere, Munson?" Can't wait to see what you do with that and again congrats!!!

All good fam!! Thank you so much, I hope you enjoy this little bit of domestic fluff <3

🍦 – Send me a short prompt, get a Steddie ficlet 

"Going somewhere, Munson?"

If you would've asked Eddie Munson where he would be over ten years after the Upside Down invaded his life, stole someone he cared about, painted him a murderer, and ripped a massive crack through his home, he probably would've laughed in your face before giving you a single guess. He never would have remotely suspected a life for himself after something as terrifying and Earth-shattering as that catastrophe of events. At least, not one that existed beyond the bars of a jail cell.

And yet, as he turns back to see Steve, his beloved husband (not in law, but in heart), staring over at him through hazy eyes in the dim sunlight of morning, comforter draped across his lap, Eddie cannot picture his timeline being anything other than it is now. His heart swells with love for his man, his little miracle of a find in the Upside Down chaos, and he smiles. By god, he smiles.

"Nosiness will get you nowhere, dear," he sing-songs, tipping his head to the side. "What if I was getting up to grab you a surprise? Would've ruined the whole thing, right there."

Steve lets out a small hum before collapsing back into his pillow, letting his hair flop in his face in one dramatic swoosh.

"Mmm, now that I know it's not a surprise, I'm not interested."

"Rude," Eddie fires back. They exchange giggles.

"If you must know where I'm going, we happen to have a very sleepy four year old that needs to wake up and let me braid her hair before school, lest she turn screamo on us."

"Can't she skip? I miss you."

Rolling his eyes, Eddie clears the space between he and Steve and bends down to place a quick kiss to his lips. Steve hums into it, the devil. Eddie finds it intoxicating, and he darn well knows it.

"As much as I would love to lead our daughter down the road of delinquency, I'm pretty sure the adoption agency frowns at sticking it to the man so soon, Stevie."

Steve sighs and lets out a long groan. "Fineee, fine. Wake up the munchkin. Leave me here to rot alone in this cold, cold bed, all lonesome, neglected!"

Eddie ruffles Steve's hair and boops his nose, stopping his tantrum before it starts. "Keep talking like that and I'll really give you something to pout about, babe."

"You wouldn't."

"I would," he replies, crossing his heart. "I'll go to school with the munchkin. You won't see me the whole day. Maybe I'll take her to the park afterwards as well, just to rub it in."

"Traitor."

"You know very well that my allegiance goes to her highness, the munchkin, first and foremost." Eddie boops Steve again. "Can't let anyone trying to sabotage that sacred relationship get away with it."

"Rude."

"Using my comebacks against me? Perhaps I'll also take her to the ice cream sho-"

Before Eddie can finish, Steve has him by the shirt and pulled down for a kiss. It's passionate, it's a bit messy, and it's more than enough to make up for the stalling he's been causing for the past few minutes, and Eddie loves it. He allows himself to enjoy it for a few seconds, knowing far-too-well how much they have to cherish these stolen moments now that they have a third member of their party taking up their time. He leans in, cups Steve's cheek, and really takes in how much he is still in love with this handsome boy, as well as how lucky he is to call him his, with each little noise and reach for Eddie he makes. When Eddie finally breaks away, he's over the moon to catch similar loving thoughts fluttering through Steve's sleepy head, too.

"I'll bring her in to say goodbye before we head off," he says softly, hand running through Steve's locks. Steve looks up at him with a love-drunk smile, so utterly devoted in the way Eddie will never, ever feel worthy enough for, compelling him to smile back.

"Good. Love you."

Getting up and making his way back to the door, Eddie genuinely beams as he rests his hand on the frame and confidently delivers his own, "I love you, too," over to Steve.

And how could he not, when that very love gave him so much - a husband, a delightful little kid, and a reason to get up out of bed in the morning?

He continues beaming with a warm heart as he gets to their daughter's room, just barely peeking his head inside.

"Good morning, your highness."

~~~~~~

Want to participate in the 3k celebration? Send in a prompt from here!

[lokisprettygirl]

Grow as we Go (Loki x Female Reader) (College Au)

Read chapter 4 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 5 (Last)

Summary : It only takes one date with Thor to make you realise how badly you have fucked up

Warning : Bullying, some violence, implied smut

(when you find your own gif 😏😳look how pretty 😍 perfect college loki)

Your eyes teared up as you watched him leave. Why were you like this? You were happy with him, he made you feel so happy then why would you hurt him like that?

Natasha walked over to you and she just gave you a shrug that you knew was indication of how utterly disappointed she was in you

"You sabotage your own happiness y/n, why do you do that?" She told you as she hugged you "I hope you'll get a chance to fix it because I have seen how happy he made you feel" when she walked away you saw Fandral storming towards you, you couldn't catch a break.

"I take it back, you are the worst woman in the world and I hope he'd see that now" That was it. That was enough to make you want to hide from everyone, you ran towards the bathroom and locked yourself in one of the stalls as you cried your heart out. If you didn't love Loki then why did you feel so heartbroken? 

Loki wasn't any better, he thought things were turning around for you two but he should have known that you'd never pick him over Thor. He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up because after having you like that, after making love to you and having you in his arms every night in the past few days, he was heartbroken completely. Earlier it was easy to pacify himself that you just weren't meant to be his but now he couldn't take the fact that he found you and then he lost you again like that.

You ran into Thor again as you came out of the bathroom and he asked you if you felt okay. So you nodded, what else were you supposed to say? He asked you out on a date and you should have said no but you couldn't, it was Thor. The guy you always wanted. Or so you thought 

When you went home that day, you knocked on Loki's door but he didn't open up 

"Loki?" You called out to him but he didn't respond, you deserved it, you don't deserve to have him even as a friend after the way you have hurt him so cruelly. As you got ready for the date and stepped out, his eyes met with yours and you felt heartbroken again. He knew you were going to see Thor and that was enough to break him all over again.

The date sucked, you were distracted with thoughts of Loki throughout and even Thor noticed it. When he dropped you home he tried to kiss you, but as your lips met with his, you pushed him away, you hated kissing him. Despised it absolutely. Kissing Loki was electric, it made you feel tingly and he felt calm, comforting, soothing. With Thor you didn't feel anything. 

"Are you alright, you're being very weird" he said to you so you looked at him

"I need some time" you told him and he shrugged

"Well I am sorry if I ruined something between you and that loser, you deserve better anyways darling, someone like me" he tried to caress your cheek but you took a step back. You wanted to slap him for talking about Loki like that

"First of all I'm not your darling" only Loki's darling. Only he gets to call you that

"Secondly, you don't know him and he's not a loser, he's better than everyone around here, he's the best" you ran inside the house, you couldn't handle it anymore. You did sabotage your own happiness, Natasha was right. 

As soon as you got in you knocked on his door but he didn't respond, so you opened it and he wasn't there, where was he? You called him but he didn't pick up, where could he go? The thought worried you so you called Fandral over and over again until he picked up, he was the only one Loki would go to if he was feeling hurt 

"What do you want?" He snapped at you as soon as he picked up

"Is he there? He's not here" You asked him and your voice cracked with overwhelming fits of sobs 

"Well you have never cared about that before" he wasn't wrong you haven't cared about him before when you should have, he was lonely, hurting for you and because of you, and you were never there for him

"But I do now okay I care now and I love him, so tell me right now if he's there" you raised your voice and Fandral sighed. You had your answer, you called a cab and went to his place, he buzzed you in and he looked very distressed

"Look he's in the room and he's not doing well, don't hurt him more than you already did" Fandral told you and you headed straight for his room. 

Loki was on the bed, he was drunk so drunk 

"Lokiii" you called out to him and he sat up as he laughed and clapped his hands together

"I'm imagining her now, I'm losing it completely" he squinted his eyes so you walked towards him 

"You're drunk" you mumbled softly as you sat down next to him 

"And you're beautiful, always so fucking beautiful even when you cry" he placed his head down on your shoulder and you wrapped your arms around him tightly

"You're actually here?" He pulled away after a while and you nodded

"Why?" 

"Because I love you Loki and I have fucked up badly, I don't even know if you'd ever forgive me but I just want you back, even if just your friendship, I would take it. I can't lose you" you sobbed and no matter how hurt he felt with the heartbreak, the sight of you sobbing was more painful than his own anguish. You wanted him back? He couldn't believe it and did you just confess that you love him?

"You love me or you're feeling sorry for me?" He asked you and you shook your head 

"I love you and I'm feeling sorry but not for you, for myself, for being so blind towards your affections, for being so mean to you all this time when you only cared about me in return, you dated that witch for me, who does that?" You sobbed again and he smiled, he was drunk and a part of him feared that he was imagining it all. It's not as if he didn't imagine the exact scenario in his head like a million times since he stormed out on you this morning.

"That was pretty selfless of me I must say" he was adorable. So adorable.

"Insane, it was insane" 

"She's Insane" 

"Completely Psychotic yess" 

You can't lose him, you can't lose this. You can't lose how pure his feelings were towards you. How he cherished you as if you were the only girl in the world, he respected you and you wanted to cherish him the same way because he deserved all that and more. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Loki, you don't deserve me..but I'd like to work for your apology, come home with me please?" 

He'd do anything for you, no matter what happens in his life he'd never not care about the girl he has been in love with since he was fifteen. He wanted to kiss you and tell you that he still loved you as much as he loved you this morning but then a part of him did want to punish you a little.

"Okay I will come home" 

"Thank you, thank you" you stood up and put your hand out for him, he stumbled as he stood up suddenly, he was heavily drunk.

"I kissed Thor and it was the worst feeling in the world" The first half of your sentence made him feel horrible but the second half made up for it. Since you couldn't drive ofcourse, you called a cab and on the way he placed his head down on your shoulder as he passed out and you couldn't help but think of a memory from your past.

You were seventeen and have smashed your dad's car very badly and when you came home you were terrified of what he'll do, so you didn't tell them anything and waited for it to blow over in your face whenever he will see it in future. But Loki noticed how distressed you looked so you confided in him, next morning you saw Loki talking to your dad and he seemed so angry, you thought he had told him about the accident so you instantly stormed towards him and just said several awful things to him that you dont even remember now.

He looked so sad, so hurt, and then your dad grounded you for weeks. 

You found out later that he didn't tell your dad that you caused the accident, he took the blame on himself so you won't have to suffer, it was you that exposed yourself by being upset with him because you always thought he was out to ruin you and make your parents love him more than they loved you.

"Lokii?" You called out to him and he hummed in response

"I'm sorry about the things I said after the car accident" he opened his eyes and looked at you 

"You're forgiven darling" he smiled and that made you feel a little better. 

One you both reached home, you made him drink loads of water, you changed his clothes, then you tucked him in the bed 

"Sleep with me" he mumbled as you were about to leave the room. That made you happy, he still wanted you around him.

"I'll get changed and come back" 

You slept holding him that night, and he couldn't have been happier, next day he woke up a little late and you were already gone for uni. He did find a note from you and his eyes teared up as he looked at the guitar case you left for him, when he opened it, he saw the shiny new guitar that looked almost identical to the one his mom gave him and when he read the note, he cried like a baby again.

"I couldn't get it fixed, but I met a guy who builds instruments from scratch, so I gave him the pieces of the guitar your mom gave you and it's all in there in this one. I know it's not the same but I hope it brings you a little comfort" 

He instantly got ready and left for uni, he missed a class already but he just had to see you after that sweet gesture.

He was keeping his books in the locker when the witch from hell spoke from behind him 

"If it isn't the loser that got dumped yesterday by the girl he had been lusting after for years" her minions chuckled as she finished her sentence. He turned around and tried to walk away but they formed a half circle around him, then he saw Thor and his band of bullies approaching him.

"What is your problem?" He asked Trinity and she got angry 

"Is he bothering you again?" Thor placed his arms around her shoulder and she started fake sobbing

"He touched me inappropriately" she sniffed and loki closed his eyes as he was ready to feel a punch, he didn't want to fight or create a scene, he just wanted to see you. He Just wanted to kiss you.

"Don't you dare put your hands on him" he heard your voice as you stood in front of him with your back pressed against his chest and your arms wrapped around him 

"Yeah what will you do huh?" Trinity crossed her arms as she smirked, 

"I always wanted to do this" you turned your head to look at Loki and he furrowed his brow. You were going to jump on him as soon as you're home. 

"Do what?" He whispered softly 

You smiled and then you punched Trinity right in the nose, her minions gasped as her nose started bleeding and Thor seemed visibly upset 

"What are you looking at dickhead? Are you going to beat me up too with your friends? Go on" you mocked him and he just gulped in frustration, then he took Trinity to get nursed while she cried for real this time 

"You're going to get suspended darling" 

You turned around and wrapped your arms around his neck, your eyes teared up as you looked at him

"Worth it" that's when he kissed you. Everything was better again and you could hear Natasha squealing behind you

 ….

You got suspended for a week, for punching a fellow student in front of everyone and for once in your life you didn't care how disappointed your parents would be in you when they found out. You were on his bed currently, copying the psych notes, you just wanted to pass the class and you had the hottest shirtless tutor in front of you. He had himself perched on his elbows right in front of you, with textbooks between you two, once in a while he would lean forward and just kiss the heck out of you. You loved it

"So when you become the hot shot psychologist, would I need an appointment to see you?" He chuckled as you said that then his smile faltered

"I have a game tomorrow" you kissed him softly as he said that 

"You also have a test tomorrow, you're not going to miss the test now are you?" 

"My father would disown me if I don't make it to this match" 

"Would it be so bad? You don't need him, there are several other ways" 

"I don't know the idea of drowning in student loans is not all that appealing to me" you sighed as he said that.

"You deserve to follow your dreams, lo, you know I'll cheer you on whether you're playing a sport or not, you're not alone" he smiled and kissed your forehead. He was lucky that he had you at least. Maybe he can finally build the courage to stand up to his father. All in good times hopefully.

"Hmmm well we still have time to think about that, now that you're done with those goddamned notes, come to me" you giggled as he sat up and got on top of you, he placed your arms over your head as he he took his time and ruined you with every thrust of his hips 

"Damn baby you feel like heaven, I just want to stay here forever and love you like this all my life, every fucking day of my life" he mumbled in your ears and you'd be lying if you said that's not what you wanted as well. It took you long enough to realize what he meant to you but now that you did you know you'd never find a man who could make you feel the way he did. He was your home. He has been since you were fifteen.

"I love you lo, I love you so much..my roomie" 

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Taglist @michelleleewise    @annoyingsweetsstranger    @soumya-13    @el-zef @12-pm-510    @daddylokisqueen    @mcufan72    @perhaps-just-june    @snigdha-14   @nixymarvelkins   @ladymischief11   @k-writer17   @123forgottherest   @niniyanyan  @hibernocaledonian  @froggiecky  @howdidurhammergrowchris  @sweetberry47 @colifower @chaotics17

[taikanyohou]

Faiza I love your VP thoughts 😍 what are your wishes for the last two epis for VP?

haley!!! hi hi hiiiiiii my love!!!!

aaaah what are MY wishes? ok so if you're giving me a chance to share what i personally would Love to see happen, then here goes! and i'm gonna be as wild and as dark as i wanna be here!

for vegaspete to talk about vegas' mum, vegas' dad's homophobia towards vegas, and for pete to talk about his childhood/life before he became a bodyguard.

for vegaspete to talk about what ifs - what if vegas wasnt born in the second family, as a mafia, or if pete wasnt a bodyguard, how different would life have been and what their own hopes and dreams are/would have been.

for vegaspete to fuck a few more times in the safehouse - and allllll the kisses please!!!

for vegas' dad to find out that vegas has in fact not killed pete, and for vegas to release pete and tell him to leave otherwise his dad Will Kill Him.

for vegas and macau to have a proper heart to heart, about their brotherhood, their parents, and about vegaspete and for vegas to confide in macau about all these feelings, this heaviness in him, and what pete means to him.

for pete and vegas to go absolutely numb with the feeling. like. they just zone out once they return Home and cannot focus on or think about anything else but each other and how utterly shit All Of This .... being away from one another ... feels like. distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? so i WANT them to MISS each other. be lost without one another. if that means smashing tabletops or breaking down ugly crying, THEN SO BE IT.

so there's this shot in the why dont you stay mv of pete, where he Literally looks like he's dressed like vegas and it looks like he's at the club??? and he looks Sad???? so. here's what i want. i want all the bodyguards and khun to go out to the club for a night out, to cheer pete up also bc recently he's been looking Mega Glum. so they're at the club, and pete just ISNT feeling it. he looks up and .... there he is. he would recognise his silhouette anywhere. its etched into his memory its ingrained in his brain. vegas is at the back of club hidden away, leaning against the walls near a back door, and all he's doing is STARING RIGHT BACK at pete. and he walks out of the door and pete just ... drops EVERYTHING and goes and follows vegas out until they're in some backstreet or alley and they KISS. they FUCK. and its SO desperate and they're so needy and they cant GET THEIR HANDS OFF EACH OTHER and they're just CHANTING each other's name and vegas smirks and comments on how pete is dressed like him and pete just cuts the bullshit out and goes straight for the jugular and says to him how much he fucking misses him, misses his hands and his mouth on him. yeah they just ... have some real rough hot dirty sex. and that makes them both realise that no. it wasnt just because they were both locked in the safehouse that made them want each other. even outside of it, in the Real World, they want each other just as bad.

and in the final showdown? yeah. vegas has got all the ammunition he needs. he Knows pete wants to be with him now, so what has vegas got to lose? he just storms in dressed in his suit and unleashes absolute HELL. MAYHEM. CARNAGE. he is dressed to kill anyone and everyone for his man.

until its his dad. and he cant. vegas CANT. and he's got all the ammunition to do so but his hands are shaking whilst he holds the gun to his dad's face. so pete takes the gun and kills him instead.

and from there, pete tells kinn he wont be working for him anymore. that this would be the last time ever he killed for him. and he holds vegas' hand and walks the both of them out of there, and they go home. the second family's home. vegas and pete and macau's home. a real, safe, proper home that bleeds love. and they make something beautiful out of it.

[foxsoulcourt]

15 questions

(or the time I almost pasted a comment intended for Hunting, @roseforthethorns + Only_1_Truth's recent spicy 🌶🌶🌶 JB/Q/AT werewolf au instead of the questions to answer 👀😂)

Ty @bishybarnaby + @macontheweb for asking me to play! 💜

1. Are you named after anyone? Kind of. My mama's best friend's name was Laurie + she like the sound of it so she came up w/something similar. (Grateful my dad ix-nayed the Two Grandmother's Name idea because Patience Josephine is a l o t for one small human to shoulder.)

2. When was the last time you cried? Two nights ago during a rewatch of Madam Secretary s05 e16 The New Normal about climate change-related migrations. Before that got weepy while listening to a friend explain the complicated surgery + recovery protocol she's navigating.

3. Do you have kids? Yep, two 24 y.o. born 5 minutes apart. Very different in almost every way, currently living in two different states. Each are DeLiGhTfuL humans which makes being family a lot of fun. ~ Interestingly, this almost wasn't my story. I'm deeply grateful neither of my parents pushed marriage or kids onto my ideas for the future. I grew up knowing neither choice is for everyone, nor an indicator of a rich, full life, and well into my twenties I was utterly convinced neither were for me. ~ As life unfolded I did a shit-ton of therapy, decided to stick around this place + then later on met my person. We're well-matched in many great ways, so when things shifted inside both of us, our two came into the world. We intentionally raised + launched them aligned with our quirky values + interests which turned out to be a trickier design challenge than I anticipated. Worthy though! But, ummm, I'm STILL kinda tired, so if you choose to do the kid thing, please get more sleep than I did while you do it. Your future self will be grateful. Plus if you have ovaries, menopause is a w a y easier journey if you've been getting enough sleep beforehand. #adrenal fatigue is real

4. Do you use sarcasm? Occasionally I hint at it, but no. It makes me emotionally + physically squirm.

5. What is the first thing you notice about people? Hmmmm, intuitively I pick up how emotionally safe they are, both within themselves + how they're likely to interact with others. Next I notice what draws their eyes. Then I get curious about what they choose to wear + why. Sometimes it's the exact opposite sequence.

6. What is your eye color? Green

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Ha! Happy endings!!! CanNOT watch anything remotely scary.

8. Any special talents? After years + years of wondering WTAF, I realised I'm the human equivalent of a portable sanctuary. Not always (that would be aNnOyiNg for all involved!), but often there's something about how I listen + interact w/people that makes them feel safe enough to share something about themselves, an insight, or chitchat about A Real Thing. It happens literally a n y w h e r e. Yesterday it was w/a guy in the grocery store check out line.

9. Where were you born? Within a mile of a small beach in a formerly sleepy southern Californian town, USA; moved to the PNW when I was 12. West coast gal all the way.

10. What are your hobbies? Chopping vegetables while listening to old school jazz, reading, dinking around in the garden, going for walks to look at other people's gardens, evolving as a human being, making Mr FSC laugh so his eyes crinkle. Vague itch to pick up some sort of fabric art activities in 2023.

11. Do you have any pets? After the heart-break of nursing first one + then a second older man cat to the other side (see below), I've become an avid backyard bird watcher. This includes staring out the window at LoTs of little brown birds + talking to the neighbourhood crows.

12. What sports do you play/have you played? All my life I've been physically active, almost always outside the bounds of defined sports. In high school I swam + played on the badminton team and both were a total gas, but that was because we were a team of weirdos doing something fun together. Swimming, bike riding, hiking, sailing, skiing, dancing, walking - all of it - is for the joy of feeling my body in motion. I am so f*%ing grateful to my parents for leading by example in this way which, thankfully, I seem to have passed onto both of our kids.

13. How tall are you? 5′6" / 167 cm

14. Favorite subject in school? All of them. Seriously. I loved learning about the natural world which opened up into all.of.the.sciences. Loved learning mathematics even when it was moderately hard; stopped when it got really hard. Adored reading + writing, and then writing about what I read. Liked art + cooking + sewing (which was still taught at the time). Took Spanish + then went to Latin America to speak it. Enjoyed learning how to speak persuasively, up in front of other people. Reading this over I started laughing because it makes sense of my Uni experience! Spent a few years on a journey through most of these topics before I narrowed it down to History of Science. Which still covers almost all of them PLUS included the study of people + institutions! Grad school was focused on leadership development + how to navigate organisational change, which meant picking up organisational psychology to add into the mix.

15. Dream job? Having had s e v e r a l already + being in the 3rd act of life w/the need to make a bit more money, this is a f a s c i n a t i n g, topical + tender question. I've loved what I've done: waited tables; collaboratively created a customer service + accounting dept within a successful dot com start up within a major retailer; lay minister with teens in a queer positive church; parent; organisational change consultant. B u T, I've also experienced mental + physical exhaustion 3x. The last episode has been particularly challenging to recover from, so the question at hand is how to be moderate. I hear it's possible + have seen others achieve this goal. Recently started back up w/therapy to figure why it's been challenging for me thus far. Dream of dreams? Consultant designing + facilitating important conversations w/in organisations navigating changes in leadership styles between The Old Way + what's evolving. I'm pretty skilled at inter-generational dynamics which is a deal these days. Goal is to get paid handsomely enough for doing it part time. Stretch goal? Flesh out some scribbled notes pinned on the bulletin board >> write a couple of small square books about organisational change + Generation Flux + sTuFf.

Who else wants to play? If you're interested, @fuzzballsheltiepants, @pomponiaia, @christinefromsherwood, @anyawen, @merceyca, @leahlisabeth, @youreyestheyglow. I'm guessing any one of you will do this in 50% fewer words. 😉 Carrying forward bishy's caveat: this one is long and also personal, so feel free to nope out if you'd rather not!

Here are sweet Oscar + Mr Bingley, may they continue to rest in peace while nourishing the garden.

[xstarkillerx]

Can we… talk about yesterday’s audio? I’m going craaaazy. Like literally, everything is on point???

Gotta absolutely love the fact that there is a whole part of it that’s just “were you cold? Lonely?” And he extends himself as if he is going to change everything only to leave by the end. And letting HIMSELF be cold and lonely. Seriously, half the stuff being said is mostly from his pov, him being scared at the thought he lost his person, him being scared stuff happened to them, him being scared that somehow he isn’t needed anymore. And tryna use that and get his own way by turning the whole situation. There is also the part “you were in my brain all the time” like I can 100% see him just learning about MC just not being nearby, learning about the escape and just screwing everything up. Leaving everything he has started on hold, contacting his own troops because what can happen when he isn’t near? Getting all those flashbacks of his own mom when he wasn’t there and it just makes him utterly mad and frantic in his search. Would kill people on a whim if they come and bring news that they haven’t found the one he is looking for. And of course he takes matter in his own hands and FINALLY he gets a positive message and half of him just HOPES no one else heard about this whole affair because it could be so dangerous? Taking the first ship and spending the whole time just being so angered until they arrive right in front of the cell and he sees his person in chains and god knows this man hates the sight of people in chains but rn, it doesn’t matter to him because it means they can’t run away no more, not anymore, never again. And half of his heart just breaks because he realises that they didn’t trust him. His eyes are blazing yellow and yet with his broken heart, he just can’t will himself to hurt them because then it’ll give them another reason to run away and he can’t deal with that. So he goes and he devices to just undermine them, make that person realise they are worthless without him, about as worthless as he himself felt. Just make them feel his own pain -that they will always be cold (because who else would touch him?) and that they’ll be lonely (just as lonely as he was when they escaped) and that they are stained and evil (just as he is, with no redemption in sight except through love?) and he just breaks himself to break the person he loves. And he really tries to keep his part but his love -like always- just burns so much and he can’t keep himself from trying to PLEAD that they don’t leave again. Before leaving himself, making them FEEL what he felt, making them fear that he will never return, making them feel worthless. This was SUCH a great audio omg nearly makes me wanna write about it

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT hyperlinked for those curious.

THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP "COLD AND LONELY," because I think under the context of the speaker character being Vader it is so much more significant. The listener being a member of the Alazmec of Winsit, to me, means two things. 1) they don't know a life outside of Mustafar (especially since their escape attempt failed), an extremely hot and dry planet, 2) they are accustomed to having a community around them at all times. This very well could be the listener's first experience of being truly cold, and truly isolated. SO NOW BEING COLD AND LONELY ARE ENTIRELY RELATED TO THEIR INDOCTRINATION AS WELL AS VADER"S COLD AND LONELINESS, HIS LACK OF SENSATION, HIS HORRIBLE LONGING FOR YOU AAAAAAA.

And everything else you had to say is just absolutely chef's kiss, like I appreciate every single thing you had to say and I'm so happy you loved the audio.

Thank you vvvvvv much for your thoughts dear <3

[ceremonyanddevotion]

I posted 3,856 times in 2022

That's 1,027 more posts than 2021!

102 posts created (3%)

3,754 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@copiasass

@blacklight-ghoulette

@mxmephistopheles

@leshyyx

I tagged 3,745 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#era 5 - 1,391 posts

#papa4 - 1,387 posts

#art - 1,037 posts

#ghouls - 835 posts

#papa3 - 467 posts

#ghost/volbeat tour - 459 posts

#imperatour - 378 posts

#aether - 312 posts

#dewdrop - 307 posts

#copia - 300 posts

Longest Tag: 118 characters

#its honestly amazing how he has found singers from such diverse backgrounds musically that still work so well together

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Source

163 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

#4

there's something comforting about Call Me Little Sunshine, maybe it's because I've been having a shit time with my mental health, but not only is Ghost back, Tobias said "You will never walk alone, you can always reach me."

That whole some is just a nice message to hear during this shithole times

170 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

#3

In regards to fandom behaviour: Volbeat.

I'm utterly disappointed and disgusted with how a lot of the fandom (I suspect newer, younger fans are the bulk of this group) have acted towards Volbeat, you're not cute or special being disrespectful towards them, and with news they've had to pull out of the next show due to covid, you lot have become next level disgusting, hoping they'll pull out of more shows 'because I only care about Ghost!'

Look I'm not a fan of multi line up shows, but that's because I'm disabled and can't handling being up and active in a concert for hours and hours (I've done it once, I sat underneath a bench while the main act played bc my chronic pain killed me).

You are showing this fandom in a bad light, you are acting like fucking kpop stans with the lack of manners and respect.

I'm not asking you to become Volbeat's no. 1 fan, I am just saying you need to stop with the mocking, as it will effect the two band's relationship with each other.

You do realise the only reason we have a Ghost tour is because the two bands put their finances together? Do you honestly think you would've gotten a solo Ghost tour? Ghost is an Expensive band to tour with all the set pieces and gear, I 100% believe they teamed up with Volbeat to off set venue costs during year 3 of a fucking pandemic.

Also the ageism, who the fuck cares if Volbeat has an older audience, it's not cute to make fun of older people enjoying things? Ghost is a band of people all ages, and let me break your ageist hearts, Aether is in his 40s, are you gonna mock and bully him for being cringe too since he plays around on stage? You do realize that none of the ghouls, apart from Rain, are young right?

What may be the worst part is that if a Volbeat fan turned around and said we were cringe, I know the exact same people would be yelling and crying on twitter about how mean Volbeat fans are.

Grow up, shut up and enjoy Ghost's part of the tour.

186 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

#2

I just want to say for the show, if it does turn out not all Prequelle ghouls return, DO NOT go onto their social media and get angry at them, to not go there a guilt bait with “aw I’m gonna miss you!”

Hired musicians move on all the time. They have a right too and with covid, they have every right to do what is right for their health, psychical or mental.

Also, if there is any new ghouls, you DO NOT go on their social media and yell at them for “replacing” your favorite, they did nothing wrong.

308 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You know what I love right now? the idea Copia is OBSESSED with being better than Papa 3

Imagine it, as a lowly cardinal helping Nihil he watches Terzo, he's confident, flirty, charming, handsome, everyone gets along with him, Nihil doesn't hate him. The siblings of sin swoon over him and his 'stupid' jawline (as Copia calls it).

Copia has had to watch this, while he's had to work his way to the top, and what did that even get him? Nihil hates his guts, sure Sister likes him, maybe even a little too much, but many in the Clergy sees that as a negative.

But then, Sister informs him, "it's your turn Copia". It's not an easy road, this hasn't been done before, many object, including Nihil, many are shocked, shocked that the Papas are dead, and even more shocked that Copia is now in charge, they would rebel, but if Sister says it's ok, then what choice do they have?

He finally becomes Papa, over time people grew used to him being in charge, maybe some liked it, in some ways the old Papas become a memory.

But soon it's not enough, he still sees that awkward cardinal in the mirror, he wants more, he wants to be the handsome papa, the one that swoons the clergy, the one that his flock dreams about at night, he wants to be obsessed over.

A little self care is in order, suddenly that once stupid jawline isn't such a bad look, it just had to be on the right person.

He changes his skull paint, get rid of the rat bone nose, no more rat boy, soon it becomes cleaner, almost like his, but it's not, he swears he wasn't inspired at all by him.

Don't dare mention him.

He needs more attire, we wants to look his best at all times, too look confident and sexy. He has intricate suits made, gold lining, flowing fabrics, it suits a man as powerful and attractive as him. His clergy notices how the once awkward rat man walks, with power and weight in his steps. They begin to adore him, or fear him, he can't tell the difference anymore.

As long he is all they think about when they think about Papa.

308 notes - Posted January 27, 2022

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[theautibrainproject]

My autism story pt. 01

I got diagnosed, officially on March 9th. I was being tested mid to late December the year before and finally got my diagnosis report on March 9th. A few days later, on March 15th, I turned 26.

Ever since that day, I am taking medication to make my life easier. Because not only did I get diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder but I also got diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and ADHD.

However... Over time, I started to realise there were cracks in my friendships. Most of my friends are located across the globe and I talk to them on Discord. But over time, I noticed I was being left out.

I'm not someone people trust with their troubles. I'm not included in certain events like a movie night or a game. Because, I'm not in a private voice call channel in Discord with my friends. While others are, and they're mutual friends most of the time.

It has come to a point that... in late 2023 and early 2024, a friend took an emotional break from me. Which meant... we weren't talking. We didn't socialize together and we didn't talk in the same voice call channels. It probably doesn't shock you or surprise you, that I felt like I got my heart broken. While this friend missed me, they didn't make a decision to reach out to me after 2 weeks. It took them a month.

In that month, of no communication whatsoever between us, I felt utterly depressed. I felt like I got broken up with. That's the pain I experienced. I laughed and smiled, one moment. The next, I wanted to cry. I wanted to sob and bawl my eyes out because no one knew what was going on. I told a few friends. When I reached out to them for support. But, my family didn't know. They weren't aware of the fact their daughter, their 27 year old daughter cried herself to sleep at night because her friendships were falling apart.

Even now, not a month ago, I got told by another friend (who is on the spectrum) that I emotionally drain my friends. To the point I push them away unintentionally.

The friend also told me that my platonic attachments or the way I get attached to people is unhealthy.

Yes, when I become comfortable around you and view you as a friend, I'm texting you a lot.

Yes, you'll receive 100 messages from me throughout a month. More so if you expressed you were in a bad mood. Because I'll reach out and make sure you're okay.

Yes, I'm now aware it is overwhelming for the other person.

I'm also fully aware that this could be connected to my diagnosis.

But tell me this. Would you keep fighting for a friendship when all your friends do is tell you, you drain them emotionally? That you overwhelm them. That you unintentionally push them away because you're love language is texting the friend(s) in question every day?

I wouldn't. It's tiring me out. Especially if you put in all the effort and they don't. They don't reach out to you. At all.

I tried to save a friendship. I really did. But it seems pointless. Reading about the fact that people on the Spectrum have a hard time maintaining friendships was tough. Because I thought: "that isn't me. My friendships are fine."

They aren't. They aren't doing fine. At all. Two people have told me, basically, that I exhaust them emotionally. That makes 2/5 close friends.

Offline, in the real world, I don't have friends. At all.

I tried to be extroverted at times. But it's exhausting being what you're not. I always disappear into the background. People don't talk to me. They naturally gravitate towards the people that are more open, more talkative. More social.

I'm never noticed. Because I just sit there in a voice call or sit my 3D avatar on IMVU down on a couch and don't say a word. I try to worm my way into an interesting conversation. But I get ignored.

Honestly? Ever since that break with that friend, I have been less myself. I have suffered more than I usually do. We all have a bad day. Who doesn't? But my bad days keep stacking up. And there seems to be no end to them.

All I want is to have friends who understand me. Who don't hurt me by saying I drain them and end up pushing me away. Because the moment you tell me that I need to be less emotionally draining or be in your messages less, I will result to not talking to you at all. Because I would just be bothering you.

So why would I even message you? It's not like people will miss me when I go offline all week.

It's not like people will blow up my phone, asking me if I'm okay.

To me? Autism sucks. Because my life is painful. I can handle a bad day. But not this.

But I also know that true friends will stick around. Fake ones wil be filtered out. That much I know. If these friends are fake? I will have new ones in no time.