#but Lily saying cutness has nothing to do with him is a big ass lie

[laramcelino]

✨Fairy tail chapter comments ✨

I was missing doing it and nothing really big happened in this one but I love seeing those babies having fun <3

I'm sad for Happy, he wins the cuteness for me <3...

Gray was smart, and I love how he like Frosh and it triggers Rogue...

Lucy showing precisely her role on the team... She just need to be smarter when it comes for her apartment safe locks...

Poor Erza didn't knew what she was against...

Natsu being Natsu the hole time...

Ow and I think is the first guild trashing in the 100yq so this is kinda big !!

Now why Saber needs Jellal ?? WHAT NEW THING THEY ARE AGAINST?? I'm anxious for the next chap...

[masterthespianduchovny]

The Poor Development of the Marauder's Era

I've recently been listening to Binge Mode and, even now, I honestly believe the Marauder's era is some of Rowling’s worst writing of the series. When I say Marauder's Era, I'm simply referring to characters and events pre Harry.

The Marauder's era isn't poorly developed because I didn't like what happened. It's poorly developed because of how Rowling handled the characters, the events she put them in, and the reaction to said events.

As a kid, I respected Lily and thought she could do no wrong. As an adult, I find her decisions questionable. For transparency purposes, I read these books in real time and was a similar age as the characters. So, I don't want to hear anything about me being "unfair." Of all of the Mauraders era kids back then, I was the most generous to Lily. It's only when I reflected more about her role in the series that I realized how lackluster she is as a character and as a friend.

Rowling relies on Lily being seen as the moral compass to signify who and what is right or wrong during this era. The problem with this is that Rowling undermines Lily in the process. Minus being flat out called Mudblood by Snape, she has no proof that Snape has done anything her friends accused him of doing, but she unequivocally views it as the truth. Despite Lily listening to Snape, it's not really in good faith because she already has her mind made up about Snape's guilt.

Now, this is important to note because since Lily hasn't seen any of Snape's alleged bad behavior for herself, why would she definitively accuse him of these things? Lily claims she was in denial about this when she ended their friendship, but it's quite obvious she does believe Snape is guilty.

What makes Lily's beliefs and choosing to side with others over Snape is that none of the Marauders have ever mentioned ONE instant of Snape doing or saying some fucked up shit. As a reminder: THEY HATED HIM. They never mentioned anything about him bullying others, calling muggles mud blood, or any other troubling behavior. It was merely because he existed. They couldn't even tie him to being a Death Eater.

Also, let's consider the fact that kids like Snape have rumors made up about them all of the time. ALL OF THE TIME. Not even Snape's own bullies could attest to Snape doing the things Lily's friends claimed Snape did, yet Lily believed their words?

And, maybe I'm being nitpicky, but the fact that Lily says "my friends" in reference to defending Snape has always rubbed me the wrong way. Snape IS her friend too. Her best friend, in fact. Why wouldn't she have said, "my OTHER friends." My Gryffindor mates or whatever? IMO, that implies that Snape is just some weirdo she talks to and not the person she's known the longest.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THIS:

Have Lily overhear Snape calling one of his peers Mudblood. Have the Marauders be incensed that Snape called someone a mud blood. Have them call out Lily when she tries to intervene on them confronting (confronting NOT bullying) Snape. Hell, even have Snape fucking bully someone.

Because as far as canon goes, Snape was a bystander as death eater wannabes bullied people and presumably did nothing about it. We don't see any of his alleged wrongdoings and the people who hate him can't even recall that this happened.

There shouldn't be an ambiguity or readers relying on the word and opinion of Lily to guide their opinion.

Some may say, "she's only a kid." To this I say, "You're right." Lily was a teen and teens don't always know how to handle complex situations, I will give her the benefit of the doubt. However, this means we shouldn't hold her as the moral standard.

Lily essentially says that the difference between the Marauder's bullying people and the death eater wannabes doing it is dark magic. I'm sorry, but that's weak sauce. Dark magic is such a vague and broad thing depending on what you're talking about, so nah...Also, is there something not dark about James choking Snape with soap? I mean, that could've traumatized Snape to the extent of him being triggered by soap. Isn't that dark?

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THAT.

Jut have Lily acknowledge that behaviors by the Marauders and death eater wannabes are both bad, but for different reasons. Problem solved. She can even emphasize that she takes so much issue with Dark Magic due to why it's being used and what it ties into.

We hear how great Lily is and that everyone loves her, yet Harry meets literally NOT ONE FRIEND of Lily's. He meets James' friends and a former teacher of hers. We don't see Lily hanging out with anyone else. We hear examples of Lily feeling sad for people, but no references to her actually helping people or supporting others somehow.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THAT.

Maybe instead of Lily talking about the bad thing Avery and Mulciber did, she could've intervened, even if it was too late, and "saved" Mary. Hell, we could've had Lily hex James rather than just threatening it. I'm sorry, after literally reading the many ways the Golden Trio are there for each other even before big shit started to happen, Lily threatening to hex someone who is actively bullying her friend doesn't cut it.

And give her her own friends for Harry to meet.

Lily is said to be smart and empathic, but how she deals with Snape and his issues don't exactly support this.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED IT.

Have Lily genuinely listen to Snape's grievances about the night he was saved. Don't have her be so dismissive about the Lupin thing. Maybe have Snape set up by the Marauders and the big reveal is a flop.

I know Rowling wanted to tackle people having shady pasts and how they can change, but 1. Either she needed to commit to it being a rivalry or 2. She needed to appropriately deal with the bullshit the Marauder's did. Snape is justifiably angry and distrusting of the Marauders due to one almost killing him as a joke and the other publicly humiliating him. This doesn't even account for YEARS of bullying, which remus admitted happened.

We cannot say that bullying is wrong, and then excuse the bullies because they were on the right side of a war.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THIS.

She should've had Remus flat out acknowledge they were wrong for what they did and that there was no excusing it. Then, have Sirius and Remus privately talk about this where Sirius admits it too. OR, despite loving them and his dad, Harry realizes how flawed they were and that their reasoning is simply to protect their dad not necessarily because James grew up. OR Rowling could've not written James and Sirius behaving as psychopaths AS WELL AS show instances of Snape starting shit with them.

SHOW US Snape deliberately starting shit with the Marauders and James trying to apologize. Show us James' growth outside of that. Don't tell us that James is secretly hexing Snape behind Lily's back because it has her looking like a dumb ass.

Also, all of this James stuff is important because Lily ending up with James is such a bad fucking look. IMO, it makes her disgust at his behavior seem performative. It says that she didn't really care about him bullying others, but rather, the perception of her being with someone who bullied others. And, no, having Lily smile as Snape was actively being bullied, and then poverty shaming him isn't a good look.

"BUT, BUT SNAPE CALLED HER A RACIST SLUR!!!"

It doesn't matter how much you want to give your friend the benefit of the doubt, if you believe he's calling others racist slurs, you need to confront it. And, if you believe it to be true, you need to end it. You don't wait until he calls you the slur to say, "hey, maybe he really is this racist person people claim he is."

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THIS.

After James saved Snape's life, this is where he could've matured and his big head lessened. He still hexes others, but leaves Snape alone because he realized that they went to far with him even before Sirius' "prank." Instead of James being the antagonizer, it should've been Sirius. Once again, James breaks this up and he and Sirius gets into a small argument. Snape is let down as Lily runs up and Snape says his mud blood remark.

Snape then tries to hex Sirius and James steps in once Snape refuses to stop. It gets out of hand and Snape accidentally harms Lily.

I won't lie, I'm a HUGE Snape fan. However, because of how Rowling handled this era, there are many ambiguous things, situations that don't make any sense, not enough development of characters, etc which undermines the story she tried to tell.

Yes, I do love the series, except I don't like any of the Marauders or Lily. I don't hate Lily, but she grates. Remus really was a coward and irresponsible as hell. Sirius was childish as fuck and, no, him being in prison doesn't excuse or justify all of his behavior. James saved his peer's life, and then publicly humiliated and sexually assaulted him. He didn't stop bullying, he just stopped how he did it.

This doesn't mean I believe that Snape was faultless, but I believe this era was so poorly told that by default, I believe and sympathize with Snape.

Although I believe Rowling wanted readers to do this, I don't think she planned for some readers such as myself to hold the positions we do. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Snape as is, but I do believe Rowling didn't intend for me to hold the views I do about Lily and the Marauders.

I don't understand her laziness during this era, especially since it's so key in Snape, Lily, and James' stories.

Lastly, she could've developed James and Lily better.

I know she only has so much time, space, pages blah blah blah. However, the best writers find a way to make it work with what they have.

[sweeethinny]

Trick or treat, sweetie?

I wanted to do something for Halloween, but I'm a little skeptical, and spirit stories and these things don't really do much to me BUT thinking about Sharp Objects and all the True Crime cases I’ve heard, I managed to write this, and I think I did something decent thanks to the hinny discord that helped me choose the costume for our couple

It was Halloween day, which meant that almost all teenagers in town would lie to their parents saying they were going to get candy when in fact, they would be in the forest drinking, making out behind the rocks, or throwing themselves into the clearing that was there close by.

Ginny would be no different.

She had convinced Harry to wear a couple costume, not because it was just tacky and funny, but because his ass would look much better on Princess Leia's costume than it did on her. Also, she was much more suited to Han Solo than Harry.

‘’You look great.’’ She said, hitting his ass as soon as her boyfriend came out of the bathroom, still fixing his wig on his head

"This shit itches" Harry complained, sitting on the edge of his bed so that Ginny could straighten the clip that held the fake hair back. "You look hot." His hand also hit her ass, staying there. "Your mother would die if she knew we were like this.''

‘’She knows, and she said that as much as you look good in white, you should wear Han Solo’s clothes’’ Ginny kissed him quickly, squeezing his chin and sucking on his lip ‘‘I disagree. I think men in skirts are sexy’’

‘’I’m happy that I like your beauty standard’’ The boy stood up, putting the last details before looking at her ‘’Ready?’’

‘’I’ve always been’’ Ginny lifted her chin, taking his hand and pulling him out of the room. Of course Lily asked the two of them to stop for a photo, commenting to James about the two being beautiful and that Harry should start wearing a cape like that more often because it did so much for his shoulders.

‘’Behave yyou two! I don't want to go to the police station to take out two stupid teenagers'' James warned them before they left the house, which Harry promptly confirmed and calmed them down about the two of them being home before one in the morning (everyone knew it was a lie, but at that day they would all pretend to be true)

‘‘Han Solo who should drive’’ Ginny reminded him, sitting in the passenger seat while warning Hermione that they were already on  way

‘’If he had a driver’s license, for sure. For now, let me do it.'' Harry left his hand on her thigh, as he always did, following the old path they used to reach the clearing, passing through the town square where the children were having fun, gathered to start picking up sweets or throwing toilet paper at someone's house, and going straight until they reached the street of the pig slaughterhouse, to finally reach the road.

‘’Mione said she’s also going’’ She said ‘‘Do we have to buy anything?’’

‘’No, I left the drinks with Seamus yesterday. We just need to get our nice ass over there’’ Harry smiled ‘‘I hope you won’t be jealous when everyone looks at mine, instead of yours’’ Ginny laughed, denying and shrugging

‘’Feel free, I’m not jealous’’

‘’Ah, sure’’ Harry used all his sarcasm, barely taking his eyes off the empty road ‘‘It’s ugly to lie, Han’’

‘‘I’m not lying’’ She defended herself ‘’When did you see me jealous?’’

‘’Yesterday when that girl flirted with me at the market’’ He barely stopped to think, which made her a little irritated, even though she was amused

''Ah, so you admit it was a flirtation'' Ginny tossed her hair behind her shoulders, crossing her legs and looking out the window, seeing the city a little further away now ''I remember you saying it was just her way''

‘’But she’s like that. Ask Nev’’ She looked at him, arching an eyebrow and holding back laughter

‘’Nev didn’t have sex with Kimbely’’ Ginny argued

‘‘I don’t know’’ Harry shrugged ‘‘She is very friendly’’

‘’And what do you know about that?’’ She poked, still staring at him with a raised eyebrow and a smug smile on her face

‘’Nothing, just what-- What the fuck!?’’ Harry braked the car with much more speed than was recommended, the noise echoing down the empty road, seeming to shake the trees that lay there. Ginny bounced forward, her body being stopped by her seat belt, but her head hit the panel, causing an irritating pain.

When she looked up to look at the road in front of her, a curse escaped her mouth, staring at the woman standing in the middle of the road, all dressed in white while carrying an ax dripping with blood.

‘’Do you think we should see if everything is okay?’’ Harry asked, gaping at the scene, still staring at that woman

''I think you should back up and runaway from here'' She replied, scared to death ''It's the fucking woman in white, what are we still doing standing around?'' The woman in white , the urban legend of that small town that, a few years ago, had been the local of three brutal deaths.

The three girls were not even fifteen when they disappeared, one at a time; the first disappeared in the summer, some said that she had run away with her boyfriend, others said that she had killed herself in the clearing, and it was only after three weeks of searching that her body was found, on the roof of the pig slaughterhouse, all dismembered.

The second was in the fall of that same year, but she had not been gone for more than three days, and her body was found hanging from the traffic lights on the main street, exposed for all to see.

In the meantime, the parents were already in a panic, and no more children or teenagers were seen alone on the street, the doors were closed before six and no one left the house at night. For a city with less than 5,000 inhabitants, that was the biggest terror they had ever faced.

The third disappeared after a year, on the anniversary of the death of the first, she had disappeared after going for a bike ride on the way to a friend's house, and for months no one had any news or evidence of the disappearance. On the anniversary of the death of the second, her body was found half on the roof of the slaughterhouse, and the other half, hanging from the traffic lights.

It was chaos.

When a truck driver pleaded guilty - a few months of panic and terror for everyone in the city afterwards - everyone pretended to be more relieved. He never confessed the reason for killing the three girls so brutally, but it didn't matter, the population would pretend to be peace again. Even if one of the boys who lived on the way to the clearing, claimed that he had seen a woman in white carrying the body across the road, dragging it into the forest.

The police always denied it, saying that there was no chance of a woman committing something as horrible as that, but the population never let themselves forget the legend. Sometimes, someone said that he had seen a woman dressed in a great bloodstained robe walking around the city. Another said he had seen her in the clearing. Another said that she was always around the slaughterhouse ..

And now, there was a woman in a white dress full of blood, an ax in her hand, in front of Harry's car, looking like the devil as she looked at them.

Her hair was blond and looked dirty with dirt and something Ginny hoped was not dried blood, her eyes were big and dark, like two holes in her pale, almost skeletal face, and all over her bust were marks of scrapes and cuts.

‘’The car doesn’t want to start’’ Harry almost screamed, turning the key and seeing that nothing was changing

''What?! No! I will not die! This shit will call and we'll go over that motherfucker'' Ginny shouted in response, nervous to the last strands of hair for seeing that the woman was starting to walk, using her free hand to clean what looked like blood dry, from her cheek.

''I do not know! Damn!’’ Harry hit the steering wheel, and the horn barely seemed to startle her, and maybe, she was already less than two meters away from them

‘‘Where’s the knife I always leave it here?’’ Ginny opened each compartment, shivering as she rummaged through Harry’s mess looking for metal

‘’She has a fucking ax, what the fuck are you going to do with a knife? She will kill you before you can say the word ‘Please’ ’’ He looked at her, looking like a piece of paper so white, then turning forward and moving the key again

‘’Harry, she’s getting close’’ Ginny whispered, terrified that the woman could hear her trembling voice

‘’I know, I’m trying’’ The blonde was walking more and more, starting to laugh like crazy, loudly and laughing with her head back, dragging the ax on the road floor, causing a terrible sound of the blade on the asphalt

''Trick or treat, sweeties?'' Her voice sounded loud but at the same time it seemed to be whispered, her black eyes blinked towards them both, and the moment she got close enough to touch the hood of the car, lifting her ax and ready to break the windshield, Harry managed to turn the key.

The noise of the engine echoed and the tires sang with the sharp reverse they made, moving further and further away from the woman who now ran towards them

‘’Go over it !!’’ Ginny screamed, terrified of how fast she could be

''I'm not going to jail!'' He also shouted, changing lanes so he could accelerate and got out of there, but he couldn't avoid when the woman threw herself on top of the car, rolling over the hood and falling on the road, staying still dirtier than before, but not looking dead. She was still laughing out loud and was able to move, looking like she wanted to get up.

'’Don't you dare stop. I swear Harry, I'll kill you!’’ Ginny felt her heart racing to the point of thinking she was having an attack, barely able to breathe properly ‘’ Accelerate and let’s go ’’

‘’Shit Gin!’’ Harry stepped on the gas, much faster than the law allowed, and left, feeling completely shaky ‘‘Damn I think I’m going to pass out’’

''I swear to you, if I hadn't gone to the bathroom before we left, I would have peed in my pants'' She took a deep breath ''What the fuck was that?'' Ginny asked, still looking back as if she expected see her again

''I do not know! Where did that fuck come from?’’ He said

‘’From hell’’ Ginny said. Harry had the audacity to laugh, but he didn't seem very happy ‘’I need a strong drink’’

‘’Me too’’ He replied, parking the car in the middle of the trees and listening to the sounds of music and conversations, some headlights were on and you could see the bodies walking from side to side. Harry squeezed Ginny's thigh, as if to confirm that she was there. ‘’Do you want to drink and then have sex in the back seat? I think I need to discharge the adrenaline’’

‘‘I don’t think you’ve ever come up with anything as good as this’’

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 39 Pt 2

“Liam, Finn, bath or shower please.” He said as he walked past them to stand outside her office door. He waited until the twins were in the other room before tapping on the door. It had suddenly become very quiet in there. “Sildie?” He opened the door further and the sight broke his heart. She sat on the floor slumped against the bookshelf full of her brothers books. Broken, he thought, this had broken something inside her, crushed her. He crouched in front of her, those silent tears tracking down her cheeks, eyes vacantly staring ahead like he wasn’t even there. Those eyes of ice blue focused on him as his knuckles brushed the tears away. “Come back to me love, don’t go where I can’t follow.”

“She took it.” She sobbed, those sobs that made no sound, just jerked her body relentlessly.

“I know love, I’m sorry.”

“It shouldn’t matter it’s just a stupid charm, but it does matter. It was mine, from Quinn, and she took it.” Even her voice sounded broken, defeated.

“Who were you yelling at on the phone?” He asked carefully.

“Public prosecutor. I’ll owe him an apology tomorrow, but I can’t really seem to find a fuck to give right now.” This wasn’t like her, he thought, to lash out like this.

“Why were you yelling at him?” He asked trying to get a handle of what was going on.

“She’s being arraigned tonight and I told him to deny bail. He didn’t like it when I told him how to do his job and didn’t give a shit about his opinion.”

“She’s going to get bail isn’t she?” He felt his gut plummet.

“Highly likely even though she’s a fucking flight risk.” She spat. “She’ll worm her way out of this too no doubt.”

“How could she when they caught her right there?” He struggled to keep his temper under control and his voice even.

“Two words. Prove. It.” She held up a finger at a time to emphasize her words. “She was just sitting in her car. Unless they find evidence on her or in the car she’ll walk for that. I’m hoping her hands are covered in red paint, or there’s at least some on her that they can match to the car, or a fingerprint. Fucking anything at this point. The drugs they found on the other hand...”

“Drugs they found?” He cut in, eyebrow shooting up.

“A substantial amount packed ready for a long drive, probably to a buyer. If they can prove it was going over the border they can get her on trafficking. The kicker is they’ll cut her a deal to get the buyer and she’ll walk.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He snapped. She could see his fury get the better of him for a moment before he reeled it back in.

“I wish I was.” Her voice barely there.

“Leon said they’d charge her with everything he could to keep her locked up.” He continued and he felt his anger surge forward and banked it, hard. No, he thought, he couldn’t be angry at Sildie, none of this was her fault, but damn he wanted to rage at someone. Now he understood why she’d done exactly that at the poor souls on the other end of the phone.

“He did, I was yelling at Leon earlier about that too.” She sighed, she was so fucking tired now the adrenaline had crashed. “The vandalism charges will stick, but that will only carry a fine, the restraining orders will bite her in the ass because I had the kids with me.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I don’t even know where or if Elias fits into all this, Dana’s family. I’m tired Gustaf, and I’m just so fucking done.”

“You call Elsa?” He asked gently.

“She was my first call.” Scrubbing a hand over her face she stood, not able to keep still anymore. “Those violations carry a heavier punch, but it may not be enough if the prosecution decides to go after whoever she’s moving drugs for. Apparently the safety of our family means fuck all when catching a drug runner is on the table. It’ll come down to which judge we end up with and how the prosecutor goes after her.”

“What a fucking mess.” He sighed getting to his feet to stand in front of her, fingers combing through her hair.

“That’s a fucking understatement.” She snorted.

“What’s going on love? There’s something deeper here.” He asked softly. She stared at him, that flash of irritation in her eyes her only warning, don’t push. “Talk to me, please. It’s not like you to just lose your shit like this at people.” He was concerned. He’d take it if she raged at him, at least she wouldn’t be bottling it up.

“I’m reconsidering my current career path. As in today made me so angry and sick at the system I swore an oath to uphold, I’m reconsidering my career as a lawyer.” Which was the truth. She was going to watch Ana slide on so much shit it had her questioning her own ethics, her own identity as an attorney.

He expected a bombshell, but not quite one of this magnitude. “Sildie.” He breathed softly.

“How can I uphold the law when it turns around and screws you? Sure, I knew this sort of thing happened well before I passed the bar, but today just kicked me in the fucking teeth with it.” She was gutted, felt as if her whole existence was somehow all a lie. “Nothing I do is fucking good enough to keep her away from us, from the kids.” She started to wind up again and he let her, she needed to be heard and get it out of her system. “I couldn’t even keep Elias away. She fucking told him where we’d moved to. He was knocking on our door.” She gestured the space between them. “Our door Gustaf, not my old apartment door which is listed on the restraining order. Our home.” Her voice cracked and it broke his heart in two. “She fucking sent him here to hurt me to get to you, to accomplish...” She wheezed a breath and sucked it in. “I just can’t do this anymore.” She keened. “I can’t keep throwing everything I have at it and...” Her breath wheezed as she focused on not passing out.

“Breathe love.” He said tenderly. “Had this been someone else would it be the same outcome?” He asked urging her to come closer, to seek the comfort she knew he’d give her.

“Yes.” She choked, trying to regulate her breathing.

“You’re a good lawyer Sildie, don’t let her win by throwing that away and second guessing who you are.” He tugged her into his arms, felt the hesitation, as if her presence would somehow taint him, hurt him. “Together.” He murmured as his arms wrapped around her, cocooning her into him. “Breathe love.” He kissed her temple and lingered. “Just breathe.”

“I’m sorry I lost my shit earlier.” She mumbled into his chest, steadier breaths relaxing her shoulders. The warmth of him, his scent soothing the raw edges of her fury that still simmered.

“You had every right to lose it.” He kissed her temple as she held onto him, the soft knock at the door causing her to tense.

“The twins are in bed ready for a story.” Brendan said softly. “Apparently I don’t cut it.” He chuckled and Sildie snorted a laugh.

“You do just fine love.” She said and pulled away from Gustaf to hug the teen. “Thanks for taking care of them today in the parking lot.” The kid shrugged as if to say no big deal.

“Come on B, let’s go read some Harry.” Gustaf sighed as he headed out, squeezing Sildie’s shoulder as he walked past. He knew there was more to this conversation.

She watched them go and breathed out slowly, she was beat to hell and riding on that seething hatred she didn’t know she could ever feel more acutely. It had hit her hard, but she knew it had hit Gustaf harder, he’d buried it for her but it was there, a rage so volatile she wasn’t sure how she’d deal with it if he let it loose. Maybe the trip away would give them both time and space to hash it out. Sitting at her desk she emailed Lindstrom to engage his services, she had to prepare for that fight if it came, whether it was her or Gustaf in the hot seat, she’d be ready, because she just knew Ana would find some way to turn this around even if it was just to twist the knife in Gustaf a little more. And if she followed what her gut instinct was telling her, Ana would use Elias to do it. She would use him to inflict as much pain on Gustaf as she could. “How are you going to do it though?” She muttered under her breath. “That’s the sixty four million dollar question.”

He got the twins settled and sat with Brendan to ease his own mind more than anything. The kids were safe, he reassured himself, Lily tucked into bed fast asleep, the twins, B, all safe. He went into more detail with Brendan about Ana, the cliff notes version. The kids quite “that’s fucked up” making him chuckle before he agreed with the teen.

Lighting some candles in the bathroom he filled the tub, they both needed to soak and relax, Sildie more so. She was starting to distance herself, not just from him, but the kids too, and that wasn’t a good sign. With the bath full he found her in her office furiously typing, her voice as she spoke barely held restraint of the fury still simmering.

“Thanks, yes I’ll send those through as soon as I get them processed.” She hung up and ignored him, plowing through her next task. She had closed her emotions and herself off to everyone.

“Sildie.”

“One sec, I just have to electronically file these and I’ll be done for the night.” Her voice was clipped, she was on the verge of tears yet that lawyer surfaced to contain the anger she was still riding. There’s my lawyer, he thought. Strong, wicked smart, and doesn’t take any crap. My goddess in the storm.

Once the paperwork was filed she sat back and blew out a breath, hands spread out in surrender at her laptop.

“Enough for tonight love.” He said gently and closed the laptop before holding his hand out for hers. “Let it be done now.” She eyed his hand and he waited, don’t shut me out love, he pleaded silently, please.

After a long pause, when she felt she could keep it together a moment longer, she took his hand. It was then she noticed the soft jazz playing in the living room drifting to her. He pulled her to her feet and tucked her in to dance, the gentle sway and strong arms holding her making her breath shudder out. “Let it out love.” His low timbre soothed her, the tears falling of their own volition. “It hit you hard didn’t it?” All she could do was nod through the soft sobs. “Me too, I was so worried she’d hurt you, hurt the kids.”

“You’re angry.” She said simply.

“I’m beyond angry.” He kissed her temple lingering, breathing in the scent of her hair, of her. “Livid comes close, murderous is closer still. I don’t think there are words invented yet to describe it.”

“I’m sorry I scared you when I phoned. I didn’t want to call you but knew you’d be pissed if I didn’t.” The sob escaping before she could contain it. “I wanted to protect you from it, protect that peace you’d found. She has no right to take that from you again.”

“Sildie I’m not angry with you love.” He said softly and held her tighter. “I’m glad you called me and yes I would have been pissed if you hadn’t. We do this together. Stronger together remember.” He hooked a finger under her chin and kissed her tenderly when her eyes met his. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I don’t know what to feel. I’m angry and sad and terrified all rolled into one.”

“Be all three, just don’t shut me out.” He kissed her gently.

“I’m not, I’m just... I’m trying not to completely fall apart.”

“My love.”

“I felt something break inside me today when I saw the car.” She sniffed, the tears flowing freely. “It’s one thing after another Gustaf and I just can’t keep dealing with more shit on top of everything else we’re trying to balance. This is hard enough with the kids, us, our careers.” He kissed her brow as she let it flood out of her.

“Breathe love.” He said gently as he heard the tell tale wheeze of her anxiety starting to gain the upper hand again. She did, his scent tangling around her senses and knocking her stress levels down a few notches. “Come with me, I have a bath ready for you, come and soak. No more thinking tonight, switch it off, we’re all safe. You’ve done everything you can love, and more.” She didn’t speak, just nodded her head and followed him. “It’s just a car.”

“But it was the car you bought me.” She said quietly. Turning to her he kissed her tenderly.

“And I’ll buy you another one if this one can’t be repaired. There are more precious things in life to me than that car Sildie, you and the kids for starters.” He kissed her brow. “You’re safe and unharmed, that’s all that matters.”

Once in the bathroom he helped her undress and made sure she was up to her neck in hot water before heading into the kitchen to put the kettle on for tea. The knock at the door had him grinding his teeth. “For fuck sake.” He swore and stormed over to see Leon on the screen. Unlocking the door he tried not to let his annoyance show.

“Not to be a complete asshole Leon, but we’re kind of wrung out from today.”

Leon held up his hand. “I understand I just wanted to drop this off.” In his hand was Sildie’s charm. “I tried to scrub off as much of the red paint from it, but I though she’d want it as soon as possible.”

Gustaf felt his emotions choke him and he really did feel like an asshole now. “Thank you.” He breathed. “You have no idea what this will mean to her.”

“She doing ok?” Leon asked gently.

Gustaf shook his head. “It broke her today. This was the last straw. She’s been trying to deal with the grief and move forward, put it all in its place. Then with Ana and Elias on top of it. She’s at her absolute limit of additional bullshit.”

“I get it. Anyway, I won’t keep you. Just wanted her to have it back straight away.” Leon said quickly. “I’ll get the hockey mask back as soon as possible.”

“I appreciate it, this will help.” He blew out a breath, the relief flooding him as he weighed the charm in his hand before clenching it in his fist.

“I’ll keep you posted, and let Sildie know I got her paperwork and I’ve filed it already, Lindstrom and Elsa sent me a ton of stuff too.” He said fishing his car keys out of his pocket. “She’ll know what I mean.” He added seeing Gustaf’s puzzled look.

“Thanks Leon.”

“I’ll be in touch.”

He looked at the charm in his hand, the bright blue ribbon stained an ugly reddish brown. Feeling that rage rise, he breathed and calmed his mind, he was better than this, Sildie deserved better from him. Locking the door he walked back to the kitchen and put the kettle on to boil, scraping at the paint on the silver Celtic knot, he’d get it cleaned and restrung for her, fix it up as best as he could.

The soft stroke of her arm had her eyes fluttering open, her mind for the most part blissfully blank, she was wiped.

“Tea for you love.” He said kneeling and placing the cup on the tiles. “Lavender and thyme.”

“You’re too good to me.” She smiled softly. “You coming in?”

“In a little bit. I need to go work the bag, clear my head.” He kissed her, those lips soft and sweet. “I’m not shutting you out, I’ll talk after, I just need to get it out, take the edge off.” He added and kissed her tenderly.

“Ok.” Her wet hand cupped his cheek and he leaned into it before he turned his head and kissed her palm. “I love you, you’re stronger than her.”

“I know, so are you love.”

“Go do what you need to do, then come soak with me.” She said softly.

“If you’re not asleep by then.” He chuckled, that warm, sleepy smile on her face.

“But you like it when I’m all warm and soft and sleepy.” Her words slurring.

“I do.” He kissed her again and chuckled as she sighed and sank back up to her neck in the water. “I love you Sildie.”

“Love you too sweet man.” She mumbled.

Shutting the door to his workout room he breathed out a forced breath, shucked his clothes, and donned the shorts. Strapping on the gloves forcefully he let the afternoon flood in, fast and furious, he wanted to feel every ounce of that anger and rip it from his being. He struck hard and quick, the brutal punches landing so solidly that the shockwave rippled up his arms, bones and joints singing. As he unleashed, he brought the sight of Sildie’s face when he stepped out of the car into his mind, lost, shattered, broken.

“How fucking dare you.” He growled as he hammered the bag. “You want to come after me, then come after me you fucking coward ass bitch, but you don’t get to lash out at her. You don’t get to fuck with my woman or my kids.” His hiss fueled his rage, the burst of shackled fury ripping from him. He pounded the bag for nearly an hour, the extreme physical exertion cathartic. When his anxiety snuck up on him he dropped to his knees and sucked in a breath. “They’re safe, just breathe, it’s done now. It’s enough.” Leaning his forehead against the bag he let it roll off him, breathing through it. Stripping the gloves off he sat for meditation, that would help him more now, he needed to find that calm before he could help Sildie. There would be more tears tonight before they slept and he needed to be the man she deserved, the man she could lean on, depend on.

He smiled as he walked into their bathroom after checking on the kids. She was nearly asleep, eyes closed, drifting. After rinsing off in the shower, he drained out some of the water and refilled the tub, her eyes watching his every move.

“You look very comfortable there love.” He chuckled as he climbed in and sat at the other end of the tub so he could stretch out.

“Iyam.” Her smile was sleepy.

He reached out his ridiculously long arms and hit the button for the jets, her groan of pleasure made him laugh.

“I always forget about those and how good they feel.” She sighed. Pulling her feet into his lap those clever fingers rubbed her foot, thumbs digging into the arch. “If you stop, I may have to...” His low growled chuckle send a shiver of arousal through her. How did he do that to her, she wondered? How, after such a craptastic day could he make her feel like a queen, his queen, his goddess?

“Have to what love?” She could hear the smirk in his voice.

“I don’t know, I can’t think.”

“Good, your not supposed, no more thinking.” His tone that low timbre she adored.

His hands were magic as they kneaded the stress from her feet, her calves, and worked their way up her thighs until he was sitting between them, her legs resting either side of his hips. “You’re nearly alsleep.” He smiled, his eyes finding hers as they fluttered open.

“I’m wiped.” She ran a finger along his jaw before leaning in and kissing him softly. “What time do we leave tomorrow?”

“Whenever we decide to leave. After today we’re not even packed. Let’s sleep and rest, we’ll go when we’re ready. There’s no timetable for the next week and a half.” He kissed her thoroughly, the soft moan making his cock twitch to attention.

“Are you ok?” She asked gently, she felt bad that she’d not checked in with him sooner, too busy having her own epic meltdown.

“I’m better now I’ve got my head around it.” He kissed her sweetly. “Better now that you’re relaxed, and soft, and warm.” Hands at her hips he pulled her into his lap, her legs wrapping around him. “How about you? You ok?” Her slight nod wasn’t all that convincing, but it was a start. “We can’t change what happened love, we can only do so much before it’s out of our hands and in the courts hands. And I know...” He kissed her quickly before she could reply. “I know that it bites you seven ways to Sunday that you can’t fix it, I know that you’re at your limit. But we can’t let her win.”

“I didn’t let her see my reaction, it was only after they took her away and you came that I fell to pieces.” Her voice barely a whisper, ashamed to admit she’d crumbled.

“That’s because you’re so much stronger and smarter than she is love.” He leaned forward and grabbed the charm he’d placed by her teacup when he’d come in. “Leon came over before I hit the bag.” Taking her hand in his he turned it over palm side up and placed the charm inside, closing her fingers over it. “He thought you’d want it back as soon as he could get it out of evidence.”

Opening her hand she saw the Celtic charm her brother gave her, stained with red paint, though someone had tried to clean it.

“When we get back I’ll have it professionally restored and restrung, but I thought you’d want it in the car with us for the trip.” He wiped the tears that fell without permission, the overwhelming relief that it wasn’t lost, a piece of Quinn still remained. “Where it belongs.”

“She took it out of spite.” Her voice was barely there as she stared at it.

“She took it to hurt you, to hurt the kids, and in turn, to hurt me. And it did, she knows I’m a sentimental fool, that I feel everything others feel. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that white hot fury, the barely contained rage.” She was the one person he could talk to about his demons and not feel judged. “A few years ago that scene would have ended every differently, more than likely with myself in cuffs for grievous bodily harm when I found her.” He brushed his knuckles down her cheek and kissed her tenderly. “It’s in me Sildie, to do that to another human being.”

“It’s in all of us love. Hell, I even thought about throwing down with her. It was your choice not to act on it, to be the stronger, better person.”

“I’m a better person because of you.” He kissed her again.

“You’re a better person because you choose to be, Gustaf. Giving into your demons is easier than fighting them.” Wet hands cupped his face as she claimed his mouth, devouring it slowly. “I’m proud of you love, for the man you’re trying to become. You work so hard at it, and I’ll protect that at all costs.”

“I love you.” He kissed her tenderly, only deepening it when her hands roamed his chest. “Leon said he’d filed the paperwork you sent?”

“Good, that’s good.” She said absently.

“And that would be why?”

“Complicated. I’m building the case against her and Elias if the link is there. It’s getting everyone on the same page, moving in the same direction. Pulling all the little details together to paint a picture. I’m just waiting for the epiphany. The last piece of the damn puzzle that links you, to Ana, to me, to the drugs, to Elias. Where your family fits in with Eija and Alex, Dana’s family. It’s there I just need to tug the right thread.”

“My wicked smart goddess.” He smiled. “Thank you for fighting for me, my family. You didn’t have to include them but you did, you’re keeping them safe too and that means the world to me Sildie, I don’t have the words.”

“Our family.” She corrected and he saw the steel flicker in her eyes. “They’re my family now too.” There’s my girl, he thought.

“Yes they are.” He let the soft kiss draw her in before claiming her mouth, tongue flicking, teasing, saying come play with me.

She felt him harden, his kiss stealing her thoughts and whisking them away to some unknown box in her mind, buried deep. She set the charm next to her teacup and turned back to him. Tender fingers roamed his chest, over every contour, every dip. His hands gently gripped her ass pulling her closer to slide his cock along her heat. He poised at her entrance, the soft gasp as his tip stretched her.

“You are my everything love.” He murmured, the gently thrust and pull of her hips as he sheathed himself in her soft silken walls.

“Gustaf.” She whimpered, his body pressed against her tightly.

“My Sildie.” He growled, his mouth teased hers as he rocked her hips against his, the deliberately slow movement erotic for both of them. “All mine.” His hands gripped her hips, moving her on and off him as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. They moved together, the slow rhythm, the heat of the bath, the jets bubbling around them, passion and love. Tonight was about compassion, the connection they had and strengthening it, nurturing it. Slipping a hand between them he stroked her clit, her cry into his mouth making him smile. “I love that sound.” He breathed, kissing her softly. “When you’re full with me, riding me.” He circled her clit, the torturous pace bringing her undone. “My goddess.”

“Gustaf, please.” She cried, the tears almost real as she was desperate for release, to feel anything other than the emotional rollercoaster from the day, her hands frantic over his body.

“Go over love, let me feel you.” He felt her peak and gently nipped at her throat as she tossed her head back offering it to him. Her cry as she came was music to his ears, that stunning body tensing around him before she exploded.

She held onto him tightly as her orgasm rocked her to her core, his cock feeling so thick as he continued to take her.“You’re turn.” She sighed, wanting nothing more than to feel him come.

“My Sildie.” He breathed. “My love.” His thrusts were deep and measured as he held her to him tightly, as she rocked in his lap. “Come for me love, take me with you.” It didn’t take much to tip her over the edge again with a soft cry. The clench of her pussy around his cock too much. He came hard, her mouth claiming his as they rode each other into oblivion.

He kissed her tenderly as they caught their breath. “Shall we dry off and go to bed?”

“Mmmmm.” She was so relaxed. “I think you fucked my bones to goo.” She chuckled.

“Took the edge off?” He grinned at her nod.

“I’m all sleepy and relaxed.”

“Good, that’s what we’re aiming for. Out you hop, my ass is almost asleep.” He chuckled and her smile against his lips lightened his heart, maybe the worst of the day was behind them. Fuck he hoped so.

He helped her to her feet, made sure she’d stepped out of the tub without slipping before he pulled the plug and got out himself. Wrapped in a large fluffy towel he drew her close and held her, drying her off. He took the teacups to the kitchen as she checked on the kids before they ended up in bed, all soft and warm.

He held her tenderly, the sudden need to feel her close overwhelming him. The day had finally caught up with him and he needed it to just find its own way out, he was exhausted from keeping his emotions contained. With her head on his chest those fingers moving in lazy patterns, the movement soothing and sensual, he let the tears slip free. “You’re my everything Sildie.” He said softly.

She craned her head back to see the silent tears she knew had started to fall, his lips kissing her brow and lingering. “You’re my everything too.” He had no words just looked at her, fingers raking through her hair to calm himself, willing the tears to stop. She brushed them away, her kiss soft and tender. “You’re enough for me.” She murmured and he nodded. “I won’t let her destroy what we have or what you’ve fought so hard for. I’ll help you find that peace again.”

“You already have love.” He kissed her tenderly. “You’re my home Sildie, you’re my peace.” His kiss seared her lips, all that love he held in his heart for her pouring out. “I love you.”

“I love you too sweet man.”

“We need sleep if we’re going to be up with the kids and drive to the cabin.” He chuckled wanting to get a grip on his emotions and her smile lit up his world.

“We do, but I liked our relaxation time. Or is that classed as playtime?” She giggled and his laugh eased her mind, he hadn’t completely spiraled.

“I liked it too, and I think playtime is more apt.” Squeezing her tight he kissed her again and pulled the covers over them both. “You staying there sprawled all over me?” He quipped.

“Yes. I’m comfy.”

“Me too.” His growl making her giggle again. “Sleep love.”

“You too.” She yawned, the bath time activities doing just what he’d hoped.

He felt her relax and a few breaths later plummet into sleep, complete exhaustion consuming her. “Sleep my love. It’ll look better in the morning with fresh eyes and a change of scenery.” He kissed her hair and breathed her in, refusing to let the events of the day rob him of any more of his hard earned peace. “She’s not worth the effort and I won’t let her win.” He needed to voice it, even if it was just for him to hear. “She doesn’t get to fuck with this.” With Sildie tucked in close he drifted before plunging into sleep with her.

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector @lihikainanea @fay-walden @nandadb

[wolfpawn]

Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 72 TW  - Mentions of Past abuse

Chapter Summary - Alexianna is in France enjoying the time away but Dan has a few issues he needs to speak about.

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

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Tags: @damalseer​ @hiddlesbitch1​ @winterisakiller​ @theoneanna​ @wolfsmom1​

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NOTE This chapter contains references to past abuse

How TF has it been so long since I put up a chapter to this? I am so sorry, the world has gone to hell in a handbasket of late, hasn't it? Sadly, the long hours of sitting at home has done NOTHING for my writing, not helped by having my spawn in the house all day every day.

I'm so sorry, I hope to have more soon.

* So, we all know survivors of abuse deal with their suffering in a multitude of ways, there's no such thing as a set manner to deal with it. Lexi dealt with hers her way, Daniel suffered guilt over it all. Family of abuse victims suffer terrible guilt when they realise what they never noticed, Dan suffers slightly from it in this and references it.

Alexianna sat back and sighed contently on the balcony of the private house they were renting for their holiday. 

“Are you okay?” 

She looked at her brother and smiled. “You need to ask?” “You needed this, both of you did. Well, if we’re honest, Tom looked like he could do with it too but you and Lily needed to actually get away from everything.” 

“Even him?” Alexianna looked at her brother. “You know I can hear that disapproval in your voice recently?”

“That is nothing to do with Tom himself, that is to do with the world he is in,” Daniel clarified. “Look, Al, I love Tom, he is the nicest most caring guy you could ever have found, I genuinely mean that. I am so grateful you and Lily have him and that you are attempting to live again because of him and with him. That you are having a second chance with him but I am not going to lie, the people taking photos of you and Lily, the lack of privacy for you both, for all of us, that is something I am not okay with.” 

Alexianna sighed, she could only nod in agreement. Since they came to France, they had been noticed and though people tried to hide what they were doing when taking photographs, Anna, Daniel and Alexianna were not stupid. It was not as though there were too many pregnant women with blonde, curly-haired daughters who were seen often with Marvel actors so they stood out to those who knew what to look for. If she had been there without Lily, perhaps people would not have noticed her so quickly, but with her daughter, it was impossible to hide who she was. She got a small text from Tom on the matter, warning her that there were people purposely cutting Anna from the pictures and implying that Daniel and Alexianna were there together with Lily and not that in a manner that would suggest them to be brother and sister. It was entirely ridiculous so Alexianna and Anna laughed at it, Daniel was less amused than his sister and fiancée. “That’s understandable.” “How do you deal with it?” “I ignore it for the most part and remember that I work in the field of PR so I know that a lot of it is just to sell clicks or papers. I also know it’s utter lies. I have to separate what they say from us or else I lose him and then have to raise two children without their father for no good reason.”

“Do you feel you are stuck now with another child, having to stay with him because of the baby?” Daniel asked, slightly worried at what she would say. 

“No.” Alexianna inhaled deeply, looking at Anna who was bringing Lily to get an ice-cream not too far away. “The day we found out, I asked Tom to give me some time to myself to think over my choices. I was so sure that I was not ready to do this again but he was so respectful of allowing me to choose and supporting my decision, I never had that before, I don’t think I had that in most of my life. College was not what I wanted, I wanted to do veterinary, I was forced into business. With Jonathan, nothing was my choice, my wedding dress was dictated to me for goodness sake, I was told we were having fruit cake, I could not have Madeira, my pregnancy...he...well.” She looked down at her hands in shame as she recalled how she came to be pregnant with Lily and how it was made clear she would be having the baby, her opinion on the matter not being considered. “Tom let me choose, he gave me that power and when I walked along the street, thinking to myself, the first thing I considered with if I kept it was what would happen if Tom and I did not stick together and I knew that would lead to me being in a similar though not identical position again. Tom would not leave his children to go without so I would have more security there, but I would be juggling raising two children with a man that would, of course, want to be part of their lives which is easier in many respects but so much harder too, not to mention when he would get someone new. I still think about these things, almost every single day but I also think of how I am happy with my choice, I chose this. I wanted this new baby, I was willing to go through it all again, single or otherwise. Making that decision...I can’t describe it, Dan.” She smiled at the thought. “I mean, I question my sanity, that goes without saying, but at the same time, I feel so sure because it’s my decision and mine alone. Tom being on the same page is great, knowing that this is not some act, that he’s not going to change to something different because of this, knowing I don’t need to be scared, it feels so good to know this.” She felt a sense of relief even saying it. “Tom gives me a choice, that was something I stopped even thinking I had. I feel like I have so much power now. I cannot decide what those who write those lies say, that hurts but I can choose how I react and I choose to focus on what really matters, me, Tom, Lily and Bump.” 

Daniel looked at his sister, biting his lips together. He found it hard to listen to her speak about what she had endured before. He did not see her as much as he wanted to at that time. He worked a lot and when he was not working, he was being young and having fun with his college friends, drinking, going on holidays and such. When she had her accident, he had visited her in hospital, of course, but when she told him she was getting married, he was startled. He had not even met her boyfriend, so to hear the first time he would do so was on the week of their wedding was something he thought was odd. 

Alexianna did not seem like a happy bride-to-be when she told him, in fact, she merely sent him a text having rarely even mentioned the man she would be marrying before that in their conversations. When he did meet Jonathon, something always felt off, he could not place it but put it down to the other man not really warming to him. When he got the message that he was to be an uncle, he sent his congratulations and a bouquet of flowers, he never received a reply from her. When she called him to say she had the baby, she cried down the phone and he urged her to tell him what was wrong. He was in Germany on a small weekend break, he grabbed his belongings and rushed back to England. There, he learnt almost everything Alexianna had hidden from him about her marriage and her life until that point or most everything at least. Some of it only became known later, she hid the darkest parts for so long. More than once he wanted to find Jonathan Rice and murder him for what he did to his sister and his niece, he wanted to make him suffer as Alexianna had suffered. Alexianna pointed out that Jonathan never hit her as though her situation could have been worse, Daniel did not have the heart to add to her stresses by telling her that of the things her husband could have done, physical abuse was something less scarring than his chosen abuses, bruises healed, what he did to her scarred her mind. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He all but whispered. 

“I didn’t want to admit to myself how bad it was.” Daniel’s face showed his lack of ability to comprehend what she had said. “I felt that if I said anything, it made it more real.” “What is more real than being in the situation, Al?” 

“Pretending it was not as bad as it was. I used to use the time he was not home to tidy, listen to the radio and act as though it was not too bad. The house was big enough, I didn’t need for anything obvious, I was told more than once how lucky I was that he could afford to keep me and the house with his job, I let myself listen to that and I allowed myself to pretend it was true.” Daniel swallowed. “I should never have let it go that far, I had so many warnings but I was so scared of being alone, I learnt after that being alone is not a bad thing.” “But...Tom…” “Tom adds to my life, Jonathan took from it, there is the difference. When Tom says or does something I am not too happy about, it is not done with the want to hurt me or an utter lack of caring for my opinion but because it is honest. Like when he said he can’t wait for the New York show, it was never that he can’t wait to be away from me and the kids, but because he always wanted to do Broadway. I felt a little sad at first but he clarified and apologised for feeling excited for such when it’s understandable why he would feel it.” “You really are growing back to you, aren’t you?” Daniel smiled. “I got scared we would never see you again. This you, the real one. I will never stop being grateful to Tom for that.” “Hey, I had a bit to play in it too. I went and got the help I needed, Tom just gave me the incentive.” “He didn’t tell you to see if you could get help?”

“No, he threatened to call time on us when I got up my own ass for him buying Lily some cheap toys because I kept moving the boundaries because of my own issues, stemming from Oliver and he didn’t think it was fair, which is a fair statement for him to make, I would think.” 

Daniel knew Lily would be back in a moment and that his chance to speak with Alexianna would be cut short. “I really feel like I haven’t been as good a brother to you since he came along.”

“We both have someone now but we’re still close, not as close as then but that’s okay.” She took his hand in hers. “Dan, you took care of me and Lily so much for so long, you deserve to be able to have your life, it’s not your job to be looking after me. I’m a big girl, I need to have accountability for my actions sooner or later.” 

“So, you’re not mad with me about running off to Scotland?” “No, I am not mad at you for organically meeting the woman that is perfect for you and wanting to have a life with her. Are you insane?” Alexianna scoffed hitting him playfully with the cushion beside her. “What has you worrying about this recently?” “I read a book not too long ago, about how to best look at your life and better everything in it but to do that, you need to look at what you are doing wrong. You came to mind. I went from being there for you to running off and not talking to you for long periods of time because I wanted to spend time with Anna.” 

“But that’s not a bad thing, Dan.” “But it felt like it to me.” Alexianna did not argue any further with him. She knew from her own therapy sessions that something that felt real to her were non-issues for others but that never stopped them feeling real to her, others could very well feel the same. “I’m sorry. I am sorry I left you in London, not making sure you were okay there with Tom and I am so sorry I never protected you from that bastard.” 

Alexianna felt herself become emotional whenever it came to her brother at the best of times, but seeing his eyes well up as he fought back his own tears added to her pregnancy hormones and the topic involved, she began to well up too. “I love you, you silly sausage, you know that and I could not have asked for a better brother, now, stop being such a twat before my daughter sees us sobbing.” She hugged him tightly.

“Sorry.” He pulled her to him. “I just want you to be happy, Al.” “I am. Don’t think otherwise. I am the happiest I have been in my adult life at the moment. If I could get a better job, I would be happier, but I love my work, I love my daughter, my brother and his fiancée, my baby and my partner. I am so happy, please don’t think otherwise. I wish Scotland was closer to London, but it’s still only a few hours up the road.” 

“You keep saying you are coming up.” “I keep planning to, but weather, weather, you taking a few days extra offshore and an unplanned pregnancy all conspired against us.”

They heard the door open. 

“Mummy?” Lily bounded through the house to the balcony where her mother and uncle were talking. “Yes?” “Can I ring Daddy?” “He is doing a matinée show for another half an hour, Sweetheart, you need to wait.” 

“But he’s finished.” She pointed to the clock on the wall. 

“We’re an hour ahead, Princess,” Daniel explained. Lily stared at her uncle with bewilderment. “Different parts of the world are at different times of the day, so it’s nearly three here but only coming up to two o’clock in London.” “Uncle Dan, why are you crying?” Lily wiped a small tear off her uncle’s face. “Did Mummy give out to you for not eating all your vegetables?”

Daniel kissed his niece’s head. “No, Sweetheart. I am just so happy.” “Happy?” “Yes, I am so happy to be here with you, your Mum and Anna.” “And Pip,” Lily informed him. “Who is Pip?” Her mother asked.

“Pip is my name for the baby.” “Pip? Lil’s we have no idea if it is a girl or a boy.” Her mother looked at her in shock. 

“But Daddy and I said we need to give the baby a name and he said Pip was a good name.” 

“That’s going to stick, I just know it,” Alexianna sighed. “I will send Daddy a text and when he is available, he will ring, does that sound good?” 

“Perfect. I am going to eat my crème glacée.” Lily was proud of her correct pronunciation while holding up her ice-cream. 

“You do that, Princess.” Daniel urged her into the other room as Anna came over giving him a concerned look which he dismissed while Alexianna did as she stated she would and texted Tom. 

*

“Hello, Darling. How are you?” 

“I am good, everyone is good, Dan, Anna, Lily and apparently Pip.” 

Tom hissed slightly. “I forgot to mention that to you.” “Yes, you did. Tom, I swear, if this is a boy, I am not calling him Phillip, I really don’t like that name.” “We haven’t even started thinking of names.” Tom pointed out. “We probably should.” “We still have another three months to consider names,” Alexianna stated. 

“But no, Phillip Hiddleston doesn’t sound good,” Tom agreed

“Hiddleston, is it?” Alexianna scoffed. They had discussed that very briefly after dinner with Tom’s father and him saying something about the baby being a Hiddleston legally. At the times, Tom was worried Alexianna would be upset or annoyed with his father’s comment but she was okay with the child having his surname and though they did not formally agree to it being Hiddleston, she did make a comment that would suggest so. “We could have Thomas William Hiddleston Jr?” “God, don’t do that to the poor lad,” Tom laughed. “How are you?” 

“Tired, but loving the sun. How is work?” “Work is good, the play is going as great as ever. I had a few fans today wishing us luck with the baby, actually saying both of us and our daughter, those words, so that made my day.” “That’s good. I’m sorry I am cheating on you.” Tom laughed. “You went very Targaryen it seems.” “I did. God, do they ever stop?” “They are idiots, nothing more.” Tom sat back in his dressing room chair. “How are Dan and Anna about it?” “Weirded out, obviously, but Dan was worried.” “How so? He knows it’s rubbish.”

“Just about Lily and I, he admitted to feeling a little bad about recent strains between us so we had a chat while Lily was getting the ice-cream she needed to take about forty pictures of and ring you about.”

Tom did not know what to say about that. He could sense the tension with Dan before the holiday. He hoped with that aired, everything would be okay going forward. “As long as everyone is happy.” 

Alexianna laughed at his political answer. “I think there was just too much tension that needed releasing.” She sighed. “I wish you were here.” “When I am done in New York, when you are recovered and the baby is a little older, we will take them on a holiday, just the four of us.”

“What about Loki?” “He won’t last forever.” Tom groaned, stretching himself, tired from not sleeping properly while Alexianna was away. “Then it will be us and our children and a little holiday.” “That sounds fun.” 

“So, you better let Lily inform me of her ice-cream since it seems so important as to learn about time-zones for.” “Fine, since I am boring you.” “Nothing of the sort, how is the baby?” “Slight flutters, but no real movements yet. Making me tired. It’s annoying really because I am trying to sort a CV for this place that I found online that is looking for people. I know I would have to admit about the pregnancy but it specifically states it has childcare and how it is more focused on loyal workers so who knows.” 

“The worst they can say is no, right?” Tom smiled at her enthusiasm. 

“Exactly. One moment. Lily?” She called for her daughter. “I heard of them before, they are fairly large in size, so who knows.” There was another voice on Alexianna’s side of the call. “It’s your Dad. Well, you asked to speak with him, not me.” She put the phone to her ear again. “I will talk to you later and let you speak to our loon of a daughter. I love you and I will talk to you later. I just want to sort this out for Insight.” “Insight?” Tom frowned. 

“Yes, the company that I am applying to, it’s one in London called Insight.” 

Tom swallowed as the name and why it resonated with him came to mind as he remembered the unwanted car ride with her father when Oliver told him to have her apply to Insight. He had never mentioned that to her as he knew she would never accept a hand-out, especially from Oliver. He did not know if he should mention it now. 

[sirjustice455-blog]

I got clear conscience dude, No regrets bro

Yesterday that white man walking with Dogs in Arafat furniture shop at lolwe made like more than 100 missiles and grenade launchers as guns within a tinkle of an eye dude as the raw material was readily available as sample of lolwe households were told to hide/keep their 1 week garbage 4 that work where many where give like 1 of the above to hide in their houses as some went to barren lands around and hid them underground as bury them as much as in the compounds 4 detectives not to unearth the same dude

Far from the above truths other Ugandans around as much as many tourists have made the same above here in East Africa and at agreed time/hour hurl the same on banks and police stations as much as those on vans on the road to create a next volatile state and steal money from such all country banks. As in a war can kill all people who can be corpse and all the army men, Govt can not manage people or overwhelm people who have known how to make machinery as above, with time they will kill all army men like with nucleus bomb, card-boards written with words inserted in garbage and the below inserted as water lilies or coconut stick broom and boom ya bomb bro, unless every1 goes to his land and dialogue given chance is when turmoil can stop dude.

Talk to the devil as in making machines in boom process to give you the map of all planets as with life as well, bearing from earth cities and distance dude. How can the white man know such distances when he has not reached such places dude, daytime lie bro, devil works bro.

Straight city paths as compared to curved town path as of Africa makes you dull and mundane in bed reason why many prefer Africa as not most developed cities as it improves their sex life, much greater sexual appetite and satisfaction than straight roads of most cities as planned cities.

When u place carrot, sausages made out of carrot or catapult Y shaped stick in garbage makes even saucer jets as synonymous with Russian made 1 as u can google both in the boom process.

Angel Gabriel signaling angels about judging facts to take Back to Mr. Hindu was hurled down as in revelation and Peter the rock resumed/took his position as in the links below dude

https://biblehub.com/revelation/12-9.htm

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=judgement+of+jesus+in+heaven

When u place maize cob in Garbage like 4 the whole estate and place the above makes even E-air-plane both in the boom process as in the link below dude

https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=electric+passenger+airplane+images&qpvt=electric+passanger+airplane+images&form=IGRE&first=1&scenario=ImageBasicHover&cw=1117&ch=639

Made in Uganda car and plane in the links below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_wjymu4dW4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23NCVy04iV0

https://www.wired.com/2013/08/electric-airplane-for-sale/

India airplane link as well get a glimpse of what’s in other links below

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-41813389            

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCyymbjzmmc

https://www.wired.com/2007/10/nigerian-studen/https://www.wired.com/2007/10/nigerian-studen/            

https://www.facebook.com/242155683315911/photos/diy-home-made-electric-scooter/242190723312407/              

https://www.amazon.com/slp/electric-remote-control-planes/xzov6h3ve7v85rm  

https://autojosh.com/checkout-our-made-in-nigeria-keke-napep-photos/

https://www.icao.int/environmental-protection/Documents/EnvironmentalReports/2019/ENVReport2019_pg124-130.pdf                  

https://www.autoreportng.com/2019/11/see-amazing-electric-keke-napep-thats.html

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/322851867010892568/

Uganda can be the African richest nation as the best attract you car or gadgets then grab ya mind then suddenly makes u leave the gadget and search 4 the owner is made out of Jack-fruit as Mfenesi in the boom process, not dull or bright but not even cool, falling less of than being cool dude and world nations where such are grown as they can import such, when mixed with rye gives not all that bright machine and that’s its utility, what a perfect combination as synonymous with mercedez cars and u can mix jack-fruit of equal percentage with any fruit, hay, used tires, bottles or chaff used to make gadgets in the boom process. Click the links below 4 more. Jack-fruit as well can be made much in the boom process but her gadgets not the same as of grown 1

https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/world-leaders-in-jackfruit-production.html

https://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/pdffiles/MG/MG37000.pdf

https://smartfarmerkenya.com/4754-2/

https://www.ajfand.net/Volume19/No2/Balamaze17290.pdf

Its 2 fold, u belittle 1 yet he has refused ya gay maneuvers which are well known and nothing pegged on me is bad as guilt whatsoever, if at all i could have died a sibling u could not have learnt automation as Kenya and the rest of poor world could be like in the 80′s dude. Now u talk kinda, pointing 1 but afraid as ya dubious deal faulted meaning i have worn my part as the war. Even if u say i got no money or was crying, the fact remains what u wanted as with jew/Egyptian long dead dude, no immigration of the Negros into ya nation as it more poor than rich than u thought dude. Better that way bro, and on ya side u stop wanting my food even wanting to ambush me on the roads. Selling artificial oil, gas, foods and exhuming caskets long gone even opening shops 4 petty theft and even illicit money online that u use to get those women u want. They fear as they can be attacked with other nations the belittled and at the same time have gotten leverage of making gadget so confident of the future not to get into the hard life they lived 20years back. They wanna get to 1 country yet those in their sphere they mistreat as above, so them also to take heed in other peoples nation. Scratch my back i scratch yours lets u r annihilated to be animals not human beings dude

Wanting all free from me but not even a single from them and that can not happen and they have gotten it dude. Kenya will never be rich than even SA and u got it dude and it hurts cause have waiting 4 along time. Charles Darwin theories hoax as Judgement and Hell found along Chicago Ave Minneapolis, MN. Me i have rewritten books as dismissed many laws many have studied in books without rest, waking up at night to master them as lies and u have submitted to the same and so fellows who is great, me or u? With ya u only abuse me in circles which do not gain international accreditation b4 u realize that am above ya to plan my ambush or claim that am of ya tribe yet we got DNA dude. U can be all killed and Nyanza and luo dialect remains with me to dispose it bro. Whats the hoot dude, even after ya death and having received formalin injection if u repent when people hear or record to post on YouTube, Fb or any social media fraternity 4 people to retrieve and hear u find ya way to heaven, so Mr Hindu we know clearly the remedy to what u r championing dude, so better stop. If u say the truck with belt water pump that harbor Ae technology is just made while other knows about it when it started operation then what u have been saying on people as seeing in ya eye are all lies pegged on the above case, so stop dude and accept triumph Mr Hindu, stop wanting my food again yet previously u belittled me, meaning u r insane to get by as the gimmick maybe dude. People also transfigure to images of others to implicate ya dude. Koth/seed mar chwa/okwaju treats aids dude, Nyamau fresh mouth herb can be made much as the leaves or roots as well as stem in the boom process by placing coconut African broom stick, pineapple, carrot, pumpkin, water lilies, charcoal water, orange fruit outer peel or sweet potato both in the boom process and with any food to be made much artificially dude. No worry in Africa dude when the above learnt as much as temperate lands in winter when oil finishes but we got away to replace Africa solar as E-car dude

Counterfeit products, make a bar code software on phones to detect the same when no company placed automated vending machine.

They now champion less kids not as earlier as to increase a/c no that can withdraw cash from 2goinvoice which name has been changed and not told many people as it can be like its predecessor dude.

Nyagot NAIROBI commuter buses belongs to Kebi adopted mother, as many have known now cropping the town as Arabs and whites wanting it easy from him yet he is very categorical in his stand that’s not his biological mother but happy are we as DNA has been done. White people stop that shit, take it to another some1 bro. Don’t turn back like the Russians are doing continue being rude as always and sponsoring hooliganism do not relent girl. Told them how motor bike spare parts made as much as vehicle, managed to make the same sell and be rich dude

Even chamama leaves and succulent seed part makes 1 of the best paints and cars that neither draws people away from it or to it but just there, not deemed kiddish or youth or too much grown but just there dude.

If getting out was my way out, getting out i will get out, no 1 whom am more than can bar me and get me straight getting out i will get out even u Mr Hindu, Kikuyu or Russian if u don’t shoot me, getting out i will dude, u cant stop me bro. U can prolong ya ejaculation but not my getting out bro wanting to reap where u did not saw youngling.

Portacabin housed in the links below made by Garbage inserted inside water lilies or dry cassava/white sweet potato pieces or all named in sirjustice390 tumblr a/c in the boom process. Make such 4 ya citizen and place in credit dude to eliminate always up-to ya house syndrome to judge ya dude, or cut the photo diagonally even 4 inside rooms with same measuring scale, making the foundation and placing garbage on dug ditches and boom ya house and 4 container u just place in open air and save the ass of ya tribe dude big time

http://zigmacabin.com/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=85

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.harwalshelters.com%2Fproducts%2FewExternalFiles%2FPortacabin%2520office.png&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.harwalshelters.com%2Fproducts%2Fporta-cabins.html&tbnid=4OYsNB7sHkzNcM&vet=10CHwQMyiiAWoXChMI-J_jpt-L6wIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAk..i&docid=ANAHWBwy-vrgQM&w=1356&h=630&q=cameroon%20made%20portacabin%20houses%20images&client=firefox-b-d&ved=0CHwQMyiiAWoXChMI-J_jpt-L6wIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAk

https://www.ridaportablecabins.com/portable-cabin.html

https://dir.exporthub.com/supplier/prefabricated-houses-structures.html

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fzigmacabin.com%2Fimage%2Fcache%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fportable-cabin%2Fportable-office-cabin2-900x600.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fzigmacabin.com%2Findex.php%3Froute%3Dproduct%2Fproduct%26product_id%3D45&tbnid=CCAUiUZTtBnv4M&vet=10CK8BEDMougFqFwoTCPif46bfi-sCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAJ..i&docid=sVNOsWLSpK04nM&w=900&h=600&q=cameroon%20made%20portacabin%20houses%20images&client=firefox-b-d&ved=0CK8BEDMougFqFwoTCPif46bfi-sCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAJ

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fs.alicdn.com%2F%40sc01%2Fkf%2FHTB1pNCQQVXXXXb2XFXXq6xXFXXXI.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.alibaba.com%2Fcountrysearch%2FCN%2Fportable-cabins-for-sale.html&tbnid=DhYyCJ7SbGXPqM&vet=10CFsQMyiSAWoXChMI-J_jpt-L6wIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAk..i&docid=ioRgx3xF3r9JuM&w=1000&h=1000&itg=1&q=cameroon%20made%20portacabin%20houses%20images&client=firefox-b-d&ved=0CFsQMyiSAWoXChMI-J_jpt-L6wIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAk

https://www.alibaba.com/countrysearch/CN/house-construction.html

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fs.alicdn.com%2F%40sc01%2Fkf%2FH4d6a605168574975a2a16f157a5855bbh.jpg_300x300.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.alibaba.com%2Fcountrysearch%2FCN%2Fhouse-construction.html&tbnid=zN4NXc7czBDCTM&vet=10CAQQxiAoAmoXChMI-J_jpt-L6wIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAc..i&docid=LiuIos6XQcko1M&w=300&h=300&itg=1&q=cameroon%20made%20portacabin%20houses%20images&client=firefox-b-d&ved=0CAQQxiAoAmoXChMI-J_jpt-L6wIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAc

https://www.google.com/search?q=cameroon+made+portacabin+houses+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwj4hvqS34vrAhUKhhoKHTRMDCkQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=cameroon+made+portacabin+houses+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1D3cFjMkgFg8ZsBaABwAHgAgAHFA4gBsxSSAQkwLjUuNC4xLjGYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ8ABAQ&sclient=img&ei=rawuX7j8LoqMarSYscgC&bih=654&biw=1024&client=firefox-b-d

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=sa+made+portacabin+houses+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwigiPXt44vrAhWGERQKHS9ECV4QsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=654

[sirjustice454-blog]

some hidden money generating ways

Yesterday that white man walking with Dogs in Arafat furniture shop at lolwe made like more than 100 missiles and grenade launchers as guns within a tinkle of an eye dude as the raw material was readily available as sample of lolwe households were told to hide/keep their 1 week garbage 4 that work where many where give like 1 of the above to hide in their houses as some went to barren lands around and hid them underground as bury them as much as in the compounds 4 detectives not to unearth the same dude

Far from the above truths other Ugandans around as much as many tourists have made the same above here in East Africa and at agreed time/hour hurl the same on banks and police stations as much as those on vans on the road to create a next volatile state and steal money from such all country banks. As in a war can kill all people who can be corpse and all the army men, Govt can not manage people or overwhelm people who have known how to make machinery as above, with time they will kill all army men like with nucleus bomb, card-boards written with words inserted in garbage and the below inserted as water lilies or coconut stick broom and boom ya bomb bro, unless every1 goes to his land and dialogue given chance is when turmoil can stop dude.

Talk to the devil as in making machines in boom process to give you the map of all planets as with life as well, bearing from earth cities and distance dude. How can the white man know such distances when he has not reached such places dude, daytime lie bro, devil works bro.

Straight city paths as compared to curved town path as of Africa makes you dull and mundane in bed reason why many prefer Africa as not most developed cities as it improves their sex life, much greater sexual appetite and satisfaction than straight roads of most cities as planned cities.

When u place carrot, sausages made out of carrot or catapult Y shaped stick in garbage makes even saucer jets as synonymous with Russian made 1 as u can google both in the boom process.

Angel Gabriel signaling angels about judging facts to take Back to Mr. Hindu was hurled down as in revelation and Peter the rock resumed/took his position as in the links below dude

https://biblehub.com/revelation/12-9.htm

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=judgement+of+jesus+in+heaven

When u place maize cob in Garbage like 4 the whole estate and place the above makes even E-air-plane both in the boom process as in the link below dude

https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=electric+passenger+airplane+images&qpvt=electric+passanger+airplane+images&form=IGRE&first=1&scenario=ImageBasicHover&cw=1117&ch=639

Made in Uganda car and plane in the links below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_wjymu4dW4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23NCVy04iV0

https://www.wired.com/2013/08/electric-airplane-for-sale/

India airplane link as well get a glimpse of what’s in other links below

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-41813389            

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCyymbjzmmc

https://www.wired.com/2007/10/nigerian-studen/https://www.wired.com/2007/10/nigerian-studen/            

https://www.facebook.com/242155683315911/photos/diy-home-made-electric-scooter/242190723312407/              

https://www.amazon.com/slp/electric-remote-control-planes/xzov6h3ve7v85rm  

https://autojosh.com/checkout-our-made-in-nigeria-keke-napep-photos/

https://www.icao.int/environmental-protection/Documents/EnvironmentalReports/2019/ENVReport2019_pg124-130.pdf                  

https://www.autoreportng.com/2019/11/see-amazing-electric-keke-napep-thats.html

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/322851867010892568/

Uganda can be the African richest nation as the best attract you car or gadgets then grab ya mind then suddenly makes u leave the gadget and search 4 the owner is made out of Jack-fruit as Mfenesi in the boom process, not dull or bright but not even cool, falling less of than being cool dude and world nations where such are grown as they can import such, when mixed with rye gives not all that bright machine and that’s its utility, what a perfect combination as synonymous with mercedez cars and u can mix jack-fruit of equal percentage with any fruit, hay, used tires, bottles or chaff used to make gadgets in the boom process. Click the links below 4 more. Jack-fruit as well can be made much in the boom process but her gadgets not the same as of grown 1

https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/world-leaders-in-jackfruit-production.html

https://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/pdffiles/MG/MG37000.pdf

https://smartfarmerkenya.com/4754-2/

https://www.ajfand.net/Volume19/No2/Balamaze17290.pdf

Its 2 fold, u belittle 1 yet he has refused ya gay maneuvers which are well known and nothing pegged on me is bad as guilt whatsoever, if at all i could have died a sibling u could not have learnt automation as Kenya and the rest of poor world could be like in the 80′s dude. Now u talk kinda, pointing 1 but afraid as ya dubious deal faulted meaning i have worn my part as the war. Even if u say i got no money or was crying, the fact remains what u wanted as with jew/Egyptian long dead dude, no immigration of the Negros into ya nation as it more poor than rich than u thought dude. Better that way bro, and on ya side u stop wanting my food even wanting to ambush me on the roads. Selling artificial oil, gas, foods and exhuming caskets long gone even opening shops 4 petty theft and even illicit money online that u use to get those women u want. They fear as they can be attacked with other nations the belittled and at the same time have gotten leverage of making gadget so confident of the future not to get into the hard life they lived 20years back. They wanna get to 1 country yet those in their sphere they mistreat as above, so them also to take heed in other peoples nation. Scratch my back i scratch yours lets u r annihilated to be animals not human beings dude

Wanting all free from me but not even a single from them and that can not happen and they have gotten it dude. Kenya will never be rich than even SA and u got it dude and it hurts cause have waiting 4 along time. Charles Darwin theories hoax as Judgement and Hell found along Chicago Ave Minneapolis, MN. Me i have rewritten books as dismissed many laws many have studied in books without rest, waking up at night to master them as lies and u have submitted to the same and so fellows who is great, me or u? With ya u only abuse me in circles which do not gain international accreditation b4 u realize that am above ya to plan my ambush or claim that am of ya tribe yet we got DNA dude. U can be all killed and Nyanza and luo dialect remains with me to dispose it bro. Whats the hoot dude, even after ya death and having received formalin injection if u repent when people hear or record to post on YouTube, Fb or any social media fraternity 4 people to retrieve and hear u find ya way to heaven, so Mr Hindu we know clearly the remedy to what u r championing dude, so better stop. If u say the truck with belt water pump that harbor Ae technology is just made while other knows about it when it started operation then what u have been saying on people as seeing in ya eye are all lies pegged on the above case, so stop dude and accept triumph Mr Hindu, stop wanting my food again yet previously u belittled me, meaning u r insane to get by as the gimmick maybe dude

Counterfeit products, make a bar code software on phones to detect the same when no company placed automated vending machine.

They now champion less kids not as earlier as to increase a/c no that can withdraw cash from 2goinvoice which name has been changed and not told many people as it can be like its predecessor dude.

Nyagot NAIROBI commuter buses belongs to Kebi adopted mother, as many have known now cropping the town as Arabs and whites wanting it easy from him yet he is very categorical in his stand that’s not his biological mother but happy are we as DNA has been done. White people stop that shit, take it to another some1 bro. Don’t turn back like the Russians are doing continue being rude as always and sponsoring hooliganism do not relent girl. Told them how motor bike spare parts made as much as vehicle, managed to make the same sell and be rich dude

Even chamama leaves and succulent seed part makes 1 of the best paints and cars that neither draws people away from it or to it but just there, not deemed kiddish or youth or too much grown but just there dude.

If getting out was my way out, getting out i will get out, no 1 whom am more than can bar me and get me straight getting out i will get out even u Mr Hindu, Kikuyu or Russian if u don’t shoot me, getting out i will dude, u cant stop me bro. U can prolong ya ejaculation but not my getting out bro wanting to reap where u did not saw youngling.

Portacabin housed in the links below made by Garbage inserted inside water lilies or dry cassava/white sweet potato pieces or all named in sirjustice390 tumblr a/c in the boom process. Make such 4 ya citizen and place in credit dude to eliminate always up-to ya house syndrome to judge ya dude, or cut the photo diagonally even 4 inside rooms with same measuring scale, making the foundation and placing garbage on dug ditches and boom ya house and 4 container u just place in open air and save the ass of ya tribe dude big time

http://zigmacabin.com/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=85

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.harwalshelters.com%2Fproducts%2FewExternalFiles%2FPortacabin%2520office.png&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.harwalshelters.com%2Fproducts%2Fporta-cabins.html&tbnid=4OYsNB7sHkzNcM&vet=10CHwQMyiiAWoXChMI-J_jpt-L6wIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAk..i&docid=ANAHWBwy-vrgQM&w=1356&h=630&q=cameroon%20made%20portacabin%20houses%20images&client=firefox-b-d&ved=0CHwQMyiiAWoXChMI-J_jpt-L6wIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAk

https://www.ridaportablecabins.com/portable-cabin.html

https://dir.exporthub.com/supplier/prefabricated-houses-structures.html

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fzigmacabin.com%2Fimage%2Fcache%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fportable-cabin%2Fportable-office-cabin2-900x600.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fzigmacabin.com%2Findex.php%3Froute%3Dproduct%2Fproduct%26product_id%3D45&tbnid=CCAUiUZTtBnv4M&vet=10CK8BEDMougFqFwoTCPif46bfi-sCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAJ..i&docid=sVNOsWLSpK04nM&w=900&h=600&q=cameroon%20made%20portacabin%20houses%20images&client=firefox-b-d&ved=0CK8BEDMougFqFwoTCPif46bfi-sCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAJ

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fs.alicdn.com%2F%40sc01%2Fkf%2FHTB1pNCQQVXXXXb2XFXXq6xXFXXXI.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.alibaba.com%2Fcountrysearch%2FCN%2Fportable-cabins-for-sale.html&tbnid=DhYyCJ7SbGXPqM&vet=10CFsQMyiSAWoXChMI-J_jpt-L6wIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAk..i&docid=ioRgx3xF3r9JuM&w=1000&h=1000&itg=1&q=cameroon%20made%20portacabin%20houses%20images&client=firefox-b-d&ved=0CFsQMyiSAWoXChMI-J_jpt-L6wIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAk

https://www.alibaba.com/countrysearch/CN/house-construction.html

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[shimmershaewrites]

Waltzing's for Dreamers, Chapter 25 (a Walking Dead story, Caryl AU).

Title:  Waltzing's for Dreamers

Rating:  PG?

Warnings:  some adult language, angst.

Characters/Pairings:  Carol/Daryl, Sophia, OC, Lily Chambler, Meghan Chambler, Michonne, mentions of Aaron, Tara Chambler, Andrea Harrison, Andre, others. 

Author's Note:  so sorry for the delay on this story.  I've been blocked so horribly and just down in general about my writing.  This isn't my best chapter by any means, and not quite what I envisioned when I first drew it up, but words have been so hard for me to come by lately that it's a relief just to put it out there.  Enjoy anyway? 

  Waltzing’s for Dreamers

  Seven years after Vegas.  Middle of March.  The immediate aftermath of Daryl seeing Sophia again. 

      “Coming to the game, Mr. Dixon?” 

  Daryl’s still reeling.  Trapped inside one of them kaleidoscopes, inside a jumbled rainbow of colors and shifting emotions that only gets more and more distorted with each twist so he don’t answer.  Isn’t capable of it really.  Just lets the drone of the boy’s words go in one ear and out the other while he grips his steering wheel with blanched fingers. 

  “Zach.  Leave the man alone.” 

  “Yeah, Zach.  He look like he wants to watch us get our asses beat?” 

  “Who says we’re going to get our asses beat?” 

  “Coach.” 

  “Coach wouldn’t say that.” 

  “He put it in different words.  But he definitely said it.” 

  “Shut up, Jimmy.  Nobody asked you anyway.” 

  The boys argue back and forth, but it’s white noise to Daryl.  He’s lost inside his own head, struggling to put together the pieces of a long-shelved puzzle.  Just when he feels like he almost has it, has the elusive lynchpin within his grasp, the last bell rings and kids spill out of the school in every direction like ants scurrying to collect crumbs, jolting him rudely back into the moment.  “Game’s near Woodbury?” 

  “Yeah, Man.  You coming?” 

  “Dude looks like death, Gage.  Leave him alone.” 

  “Pfft.  Whatever.  Just forget it.  We’re running late as it is.” 

  Their voices fade the further they get away but his little girl’s rings loud and clear in Daryl’s recent memory.  Carol’s joins it and another small voice, a voice he doesn’t recognize but somehow knows all the same.      

  “I thought you were dead.  I thought you were dead ‘cause no way would my daddy leave me.”   

  “Sophia.  Sweetheart.  Not here.  Not now.  Your brother…” 

  Carol had frozen at his sharp intake of breath, her blue sky eyes stormy as she’d taken the small boy by the shoulders and tried to steer him away.  Tried to distract him from the train wreck unfolding before him, the screech and ear-splitting crash of their past colliding with the painful, harsh reality of their present. 

  “Nobody.” 

  That single word, cloaked in ‘Phia’s tears as it had been, still feels like a knife lodged deep in Daryl’s floundering heart.  Still echoes in his ears.  Haunts him.  But it’d been Carol’s softly uttered addition that’d twisted the knife and even now has his life’s blood flowing out of him in a painful torrent.  Has him all out of sorts and all but oblivious to the rest of the still moving world around him. 

  “Nobody that you know, Baby.  C’mon.  Let’s get you home okay?  You and Sis both.  Sophia?” 

  “Mr. Dixon?” 

  “I didn’t…” 

  “Mr. Dixon?  Can you hear me?” 

  Cool fingers circle his wrist, discreetly checking his pulse before moving to calmly loosen his death grip on the steering wheel, and the fog finally lifts enough for Daryl to focus.  Clarity sharpens his mind but also heightens the grief—and budding anger—that he feels and he turns his gaze to the woman eyeing him with muted concern.  He recognizes her as the school nurse.  Has had to send more than one of his dumbass students her way in the short time he’s been at this gig.  Seen her be friendly with Carol and knows where her sympathies lie.  Still.  He feels the overwhelming need to explain himself.  “I didn’t know.  I thought…” 

  Lily cuts him off with a subtle shake of her head and a suggestion for the young daughter that lingers uncertainly behind her.  “Meghan, why don’t you run back inside?  Grab something to drink for Mr. Dixon?  You were right.  He doesn’t look so good.”  When the little girl has scampered away and the bus carrying the baseball team is gone along with most of the cars in the parking lot, she finally speaks again.  “My sister Tara babysits for Carol.  Our daughters are friends, Mr. Dixon.  Sophia’s older, but they tell each other everything.  Any explanations you think you have for abandoning your family?  Sophia and Carol deserve to hear them from you.  Understood?”   

  A ragged sigh whistles past Daryl’s lips and he blinks against the sting in his eyes.  “’Phia ain’t in the place to hear nothing I say.” 

  Lily’s expression softens but she holds her tongue. 

  Daryl nods to himself and drums still nerveless fingertips against his steering wheel as he gazes straight ahead.  “Tell your girl thanks for me, but I got somewhere I have to be.”   

  Lily stops him with a hand on his arm and an inherent plea in the way she says his name.  “Mr. Dixon.” 

  Daryl ducks his head shamefully.  “Mr. Dixon was a man didn’t deserve to be called Daddy.  Guess I’m more like the old man than I thought.  Don’t worry.  I ain’t gonna bother them.  Got more sense than that.”  He doesn’t meet her eyes again, afraid of the pity that renders her voice a quiet murmur. 

  “Maybe she’s not ready to hear you now, but if I know Sophia at all?  Someday she will be.” 

  “Someday.  Yeah, maybe.” 

  Turning his key in the ignition, Daryl brings his old truck to life and its cantankerous rumble is so loud Lily almost has to shout to be heard. 

  “You sure you’re gonna be okay?”

  “Gotta be.” 

  “At least stay until Meghan gets back with your drink.”

  “Done told you…”  

  “You got somewhere to be.  I know.  I heard you.  Just.  I know it doesn’t mean much coming from somebody you barely know.  But don’t hurt them even more by doing something stupid.”    

  Daryl mulls over her words.  Tries desperately to take them to heart as the truck eats up the miles between King County and Woodbury.  To push the building anger he feels away with middling results.  Welcome distraction comes when he passes an athletic complex halfway there.  Sees the King County baseball coach running practice drills with the boys before the big game and winces because he’s gotten to know the man somewhat.  Aaron’s a good guy.  Another one of Carol’s friends and coworkers.  Earnest.  Hard working.  Friendly and welcoming to a fault.  Ill-suited to coaching but out there anyway, determined to turn lemons into lemonade, to make something positive out of something negative when Daryl aches for nothing more in that moment than a confrontation and some answers.

  “Sophia.  Sweetheart.  Not here.  Not now.  Your brother…” 

  He repeats Lily’s sensible words as a mantra, even as the puzzle pieces start to fall into place.  The harder the fist around his heart squeezes, the hotter his blood starts to boil.  Her brother?  But Andrea…    

  “Nobody that you know, Baby.  C’mon.  Let’s get you home okay?  You and Sis both.  Sophia?” 

  By the time he pulls into the Woodbury parking lot, he’s at fever pitch again.  The truck has barely lurched to a stop before he’s jumping out of it and slamming the door, striding to the front entrance and a security guard that immediately diagnoses him a threat, abandoning his post to prevent Daryl from going any further.

  “Sir.  Do you have an appointment?” 

  Daryl blatantly ignores his question.  Indignantly huffs a half-truth as he deftly sidesteps the man.  Woman had been quick to shove those divorce papers under his nose. “I’m here to see my lawyer.  We go way back.  Don’t need no appointment.” 

  “Sir,” the man repeats calmly.  “I’m going to need you to stop where you’re at and show me your hands.  Keep them where I can see them while I verify a few things.  Do that and if your lawyer’s receptive to seeing you without an appointment, we’ll go from there.” 

  Sighing in resignation, Daryl agrees and holds his hands out to his sides.  “Fine.  What you need to know?” 

  “You can start by giving me your name and who you’re here to see.” 

  Some fifteen minutes later, when his anger’s cooled considerably and the pain and devastation of all he’s missed has begun to sink back in deep, Daryl looks up from the weary study of his worn boots when he hears a familiar voice.  It doesn’t belong to the person he expected or wanted to see.  Instead, it belongs to Michonne, and one look at the grave expression the woman wears has him swallowing hard because she knows.  He doesn’t know how much she knows or when she found it out, but betrayal hangs low and heavy around her shoulders too.  “She too much a coward to face me herself?”

  Michonne’s lips pinch into a trembling, disappointed frown before she sucks in a shaky breath.  Her eyes never straying from his, she addresses the guard that waits patiently nearby.  “It’s okay, DJ.  Daryl’s good people.  He’s just been hit with a bit of upsetting news today.” 

  “Sorry, Man,” DJ apologizes.  “Hope you know I was just doing my job.” 

     As soon as they’re alone, Michonne allows Daryl only a brief glimpse of the disappointed tears in her eyes before straightening her shoulders and clearing her throat.  “I understand…” 

  “No,” Daryl instantly interjects through gritted teeth.  “You don’t.” 

  Nodding to concede his point, she begins again.  “I know you’ve just been blindsided.  It’s not exactly the same, but I have too.  Be that as it may, there’s a little boy behind those doors, my little boy, and I know none of us right now understand this whole mess, but Andre?  Daryl, it makes even less sense to him.  Do you get that?  One minute his mama and Aunt Andrea were happy and laughing.  The next?  The next they’re…they’re not.”

  “I’m sorry, ’Chonne.  But…” 

  “But nothing, Daryl.”  Impassioned now, Michonne defends Andrea.  On one count at least.  “Andrea wanted to come out here.  She wanted to talk to you herself.  I convinced her not to.  Me.  Because she was the only one that could console my son.  So please.  Remember that.  Think of him before you storm in there dead set on getting your pound of flesh.  Okay?  Think of him and treat him the same way you’d treat the son you just found out about.” 

  Daryl’s throat grows tight again and the tears that had stung his eyes earlier return with a vengeance, streaming unnoticed down his cheeks.  Hoarsely, he pleads with Michonne to understand.  “My boy, ‘Chonne.  I didn’t know.  She told me, no, she let me think he died.  Even worse…I want some answers, goddammit.” 

  Michonne grabs his hand, offers herself up as an anchor of sorts.  Something steady to hang on to in the onslaught of emotion.  “And if they don’t satisfy you?  We can’t go back, Daryl.  Only forward.  What then?” 

  “Got no fuckin’ clue, but don’t I deserve the chance to figure that out for myself?  And to do that, I need to talk to Andrea.” 

  “Okay.  Follow me.  We’ll get you your answers.”   

[naireides]

again, like no pressure...but can you give us a snippet/excerpt of one of your fics?? we’re really starving and you need to feed us

here’s a couple from fics i’m working on. it’s kinda long, so it’s under the cut

help me hold on to you (currently at 5k)

The beach resort where the wedding is being held is about a three hour drive away and Bellamy is just about ready to die when he realises that that means he’s going to be stuck in the car with Clarke for that long. But it’s not too bad, they leave his place around midmorning because check in is at 2pm and they only stop twice, once for gas and then the other time is for lunch.

Clarke picks where they’re going for lunch by saying they have to pull off on the seventh exit they see, and they end up going to an IHOP. She orders pancakes and Bellamy wholehearted judges her life choices.

“You’re going to get diabetes,” he says, watching as she drenches her stack in butter pecan syrup.

“I’m living my best life,” she counters.

The hotel is pretty nice, clean and going for a tropical vibe, with bright yellows and palm prints. They’re not the first set of guests to arrive and the concierge tells them that the couple has welcome drinks down by the pool, to join them once they’re settled in.

The room is pretty standard too, with the same tropical wallpaper that plasters the walls of the lobby downstairs and a set of nondescript pineapple prints framed right above the bed.

The singular, queen sized bed that he has to share with his ex.

Bellamy tries not to think too much about that.

i’d suffer in hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight (currently at 5k)

His hand trembles as it comes up, just barely touching the bruises on her neck, and she stays still, not daring to breathe.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, letting the pads of his fingers gently graze against her skin. A current sparks wherever he touches and Clarke struggles to stay quiet.

There’s just something about it, his fingers tracing the bruises that he himself left on her neck. It’s already dark red, standing stark against her skin, and there’s no doubt in her mind that it’ll get darker in the hours to come. He brushes against her pulse point and she has a sudden urge to have him leave bruises all over her. It sends a heat skittering down her spine.

She’s thought about it before.

Bellamy has nice hands and she’d be lying if she said that she never thought about them. Even in the early days at the Dropship she would think about them in the late hours of the night. His hands gripping her legs and hips and ass. His hands slowly inching up her thigh, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Hands grabbing her tits, pulling her hair, hands in almost every single place she could think of.

Except she’s never thought about them there before.

His hands on her neck, squeezing just hard enough that her world starts to get fuzzy at the edges.

Her panties are soaked from just thinking about it.

chapter 2 of the hogwarts au (currently at 6k)

The thing is, Clarke has always been cute. Bellamy knows that Clarke has always been cute with her soft blonde hair always pulled back into a braid and crooked smile, but the Clarke standing in front of him is nothing like that Clarke.

This Clarke is taller, with her hair unbound and cascading down her shoulders in waves. Like most purebloods, she’s wearing tailored clothing, a simple pair of pants and a blouse that hug every inch of her body and suddenly Bellamy realises that Clarke is a woman. And like most women she has curves, curves that were certainly not there last time he saw her He finds himself following the swell of her thighs and hips with his eyes, up to the dip of waist and then even further upward to--

He decidedly drags his eyes away, mouth going dry.

He’s seen his fair share of gorgeous women not to mention that being a muggleborn living in the twenty first century means that he has access to the internet. So yeah, Bellamy has definitely seen his fair share of things.

But yet it’s the sight of Clarke Griffin grinning at him from the doorway of their compartment, the shallow vee of her shirt just hinting at what lies underneath, that drives him crazy.

He’s reminded of the kiss, her body soft and warm against his, nipping at his bottom lip, and he decidedly looks away, pretending to be engrossed in the book he brought along for the journey.

“Hi,” she says, sounding a bit out of breath as she plops down in the seat next to him. She flicks the edge of his glasses. “These are new.”

He bats her hands away. “Surprise. I’m blind,” he deadpans, poking her in the ribs for good measure. She swats at him and he grins. “Hi Clarke.”

unnamed sex pollen fic (currently at 3k)

He grumbles a bit more, but ultimately Bellamy toes off his shoes and drops down on the bedroll. He wants to take off his shirt and pants too, maybe even his own skin because of all this heat, but his dick has been hard for the last hour or so and he really doesn’t want to have that conversation.

So he settles in and faces the wall instead of her, trying to ignore the soft pants and the sound of her squirming around a mere ten feet from him as he shuts his eyes and forces himself to drift off.

Bellamy isn’t quite sure what time he wakes up-- there’s still sunlight outside, heavy and golden, drifting through the windows-- but his mouth is parched and there’s a dull throbbing in his head that’s rivaled by the one in his groin, dick still painfully hard and pressing against the zipper.

He’s thinking about throwing caution to the wind and trying to help himself when he finally hears it, the harsh pants interspaced by soft whines, quiet mewling sounds and choked off gasps.

His mind immediately reminds him about Clarke and the flowers and oh my god, she’s dying.

He immediately scrambles into a sitting position, her name already on the tip of his tongue and worry coursing through his veins when he sees that that’s not nearly the case at all.

Because Clarke is lying there, a mere ten feet away, shirt rucked up under her tits, exposing her soft stomach, and belt undone, hand slipping easy down the front of her pants. Her wrist is flexed at what has to be an uncomfortable angle while her other hand has the bedroll clenched in a white-knuckled grip as her back arches and another soft mewl flies past her lips.

“Oh fuck.”

unnamed soulmate au (currently 7k)

Her dreams feel different that night.

She starts off in a field of wildflowers, walking through it and letting her fingers trail through it. She walks and walks and walks until she comes face to face with a heavy set of double doors. She never saw it coming but then again it’s a dream. Things don’t work like they usually do in dreams. She pushes the door open and finds herself in an elevator, the big ones that they have in hospitals, and she leans against one of the metal panels as it slowly begins its ascent.

Clarke isn’t really sure how long she stays there, in that slow moving elevator, but she’s sitting on the floor of it, head tipped back with her eyes closed, feeling almost as drunk in the dream as she was in real life.

“You gonna press a button there, Princess?” a voice asks, and she jumps, scrambling to her feet with a squeak.

“What the fuck,” she breathes when she finally gets a good look at the other person in the elevator and her heart starts to beat in double time.

The boy from her dreams, the one with stars on his cheeks, is standing before her with a single eyebrow quirked.

He’s not exactly like he usually is in her dreams. He seems more solid here, more-- real. He’s sharp around the edges and there’s a certain darkness that she feels swirling into the undercurrent of the dream but there’s a warmth to it too.

For the most part, appearance wise, he looks like he always does. Taller than her and maybe a few years older too, with curly hair that he tries to slick back with gel and freckles and the scar on his upper lip. The hoodie he’s wearing is at least a size too small, stretched tight across his shoulders and his jeans are at least an inch too short.  He’s leaning against the other panel opposite her, arms crossed, and Clarke can’t stop staring at him.

He hitches an eyebrow. “Well, are you?”

unnamed jily fwb fic (currently 3k)

“That one was a gimme,” she pants, mouth hot on his neck, and James continues to smirk until she pulls him back down for a searing kiss.

They do eventually make it to his bedroom, a tangle of limbs and clothes and lips. He gets her off twice more before Lily pushes him off with a breathless, “Condom,” and in all honesty this was the most fun she’s had with sex in a long time, laughing easily at his stupid jokes, and even after, when they’re both basking in the afterglow, there’s no tension, and she just feels at ease.

“We should do this again,” she says once she’s finally worked up the strength to start redressing. James continues to lie stark naked atop his sheets, an arm thrown over his eyes and looking as though he could fall asleep then and there.

“You have my number,” comes his muffled reply while she shimmies back into her underwear. “Keeping things casual, right?”

“Yeah,” she says, gnawing her lip, “Can we also just keep this between us. I don’t need anyone’s commentary on it. Especially Sirius’.”

“Why would you think I’ll tell Sirius about this?”

“Because it’s Sirius,” she counters with a roll of her eyes, “I’m surprised you haven’t sent him an ‘I just got laid’ text update.”

“Come off it Evans; if I was sending him updates it would be in the form of an email. Easier for archiving purposes.”

“I’m glad you thought this through.”

is nothing sacred to you ladysir (currently 1.5k)

“How was your mystery date?” asks Peter as he continues to trounce Sirius, who was trying to see how far her could get by just pressing one button, in a game of Call of Duty.

Remus shrugs, a jerky move of his shoulders, as he hangs up his coat and then tosses a paper bag at the couch. Sirius immediately abandons his controller in favour of pulling out a freshly baked danish from the bag and taking an absolutely colossal bite out of it.

“You know, interesting to say the least,” he says, his voice pitched strangely as he vanishes into the kitchen. He appears a moment later with glass of water.

“Interesting huh,” says Sirius through a mouthful of pastry. “What kind of interesting are we talking about here? Interesting as in she spent twenty minutes telling you about her toenail collection or interesting as in you spent twenty minutes snogging in the handicapped stall?”

“I pity the dates you go on,” says James, looking over at his friend with a mild level of disgust.

“Joke’s on you, the only dates I go on are with myself,” says Sirius, managing to grab a second danish before Peter snatches the bag away.

“Neither of those disturbing scenarios,” says Remus with a shudder. “She was actually quite nice.”

“Ooh, mystery woman got a ‘quite nice’ from Mr Lupin over here,” says Sirius in a singsong voice. “I can hear the wedding bells already.”

“When do we get to meet Mrs Lupin to be,” asks Peter, who paused the game when he realised Sirius abandoned him over a pastry.

“Er, you’ve actually already met her,” says Remus, suddenly uncomfortable as he rubs the back of his neck. He doesn’t seem able to look in James’ general direction, a fact which has the man in question narrowing his eyes at him.

“You see, Alice is a good friend and all and she really did try but, well… she set me up with Lily,” Remus explains all in one breath, cheeks going pink.

if there’s something strange (who you’re gonna call) (currently 7k)

In the morning he almost believes that he dreamt the whole thing, except the faint scent of her clings to his hair, a gentle reminder.

So James peels himself out of bed and takes a truly scalding shower in an attempt to feel human again. He drinks two cups of the shitty instant coffee they keep in the house, and then fills up a travel mug to go, adding enough sugar to kill a small dog.

He’s ninety percent sure that if he tried to navigate his way through the forest right now when he’s in this state, he’s bound to get lost, scent trail or not. Thankfully she has the forethought to wait for him in the same clearing that they first met, just five minutes in, and raises a single perfect eyebrow as she takes in his dishevelled appearance.

“You look like shit,” she chirps, pushing off the tree she was leaning against to walk over to him. He doesn’t doubt it, not when he’s wearing a rumpled flannel shirt over an old, faded t shirt with holes dotting the collar, and sporting two days worth of stubble.

By contrast, Lily looks impeccable, in a circle skirt and stockings with her shirt tucked in and not a hair escaping the twist at the back of her head.

“Yeah, well, you look like you stepped out of an issue of Better Homes from the fifties,” he counters weakly, trying not to think about how the stockings probably meant a garter belt too and he swallows thickly. “Besides, I have a good reason. I only got about four hours of sleep before coming out her to meet you.”

If anything, his grumpy state just amuses her further. “First of all, Better Homes is a home maintenance guide,” she says, grinning when he twists his face at her, “And secondly four hours of sleep is more than enough.”

“You don’t sleep. You have absolutely no room to talk.”

“I sleep sometimes. You don’t know my habits.”

“It is too fucking early for this,” he grumbles with a roll of his eyes before turning away. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Go?” she asks, and he can practically hear the eyebrow raise that accompanies that question.

He jingles his car keys. “Yes, go. Something tells me that this conversation is going to be long and make me want to pull my hair out. I need food for that. We’re going to Rosmerta’s.”

“You mean in town?” she squawks.

James pauses climbing over a root to throw a weak glare at her. “Yes ‘in town’ now are you coming or not? Because my stomach started eating itself about five minutes ago.”

She seems to actually consider saying no for one minute, probably just to be contrary. In the end though, she just huffs and roots through her truly gigantic handbag for a minute before pulling on a wide brimmed hat and cat-eye sunglasses.

“Seriously?”

It’s Lily’s turn to glare, and she is truly a frightening sight to behold. “You want me to come with you, don’t you?” she snaps, and then pulls on a dainty pair of white gloves.

“I thought you said you could handle sunlight?” he asks, squinting at her as she walks alongside him. With the stockings, gloves and hat, no part of her skin is exposed.

Her face does something where her jaw clenches and she sniffs self importantly, lifting her nose. He’s certain that if it was still possible, she would be blushing right now, and the thought of her being embarrassed pleases him greatly.

[pedroscurls]

Title: The Moon (Part 19.)

Character(s): Negan and Luna  Summary: Negan and Luna finally come to terms with their relationship. Word Count: 2,782 Author's Note: Wow! I can't believe this story has come to an end! I know, I know. There wasn’t any smut, but I actually enjoyed writing a story that didn’t involve smut whatsoever. Anyway, I want to thank everyone who stuck with me throughout this story. It was so much fun writing it!  Taglist: @miiraal | @clinicalkayla | @ronweaselz | @heartfulloffandoms | @warriorqueen1991 | @dead-head-joker | @eliselulu23 | @may85 | @negantrashlucille23 | @myheart4ever47 | @almostinwonderland | @isayweallgetdrunk

The next morning, Luna had awoken earlier than Simon. Given that his shift started later than usual, he took this time to get more sleep. She finished in the bathroom and changed into a pair of leggings, an old flannel that belonged to Simon (and looked incredibly big on her) and her boots.

She was tying her laces when Simon grunted, glancing in the direction of his bed to see Luna awake and ready.

“You’re talking to him this early in the morning?” he mumbled sleepily.

“What? No. I figured I’d walk around today. Get a head start and this time, I can bring you breakfast.”

He chuckled, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head. “No can do. Kitchen staff won’t give you anything if your name isn’t on the list for points or on the list for Saviors. But, you can accompany me if you don’t mind waiting for me to get ready.”

“Sure. Yeah. Gives me more time to think.”

Simon stood, grabbing a fresh set of clothes on the way to his bathroom. Stopping in front of her, he gently rested a hand on Luna’s shoulder, gripping it tightly.

“Big day, huh?”

“I’m a bit scared,” she admitted.

“What for?”

“That he’s going to shoo me away…”

“He’d be stupid to,” Simon smiled, walking into his connected bathroom and shutting it behind him.

When Luna heard the water running, she sighed and lied back against the bed, draping an arm over her eyes as constant thoughts entered her mind. She wondered what she was going to tell Negan, how he would react, and certainly if he was going to take her back or not.

They never established their relationship, but both knew the attraction was there. Learning about Lucille (his wife and not the bat) made her wonder if he was simply pining after her to make up for things he had done to Lucille. Though, deep down, she had thought the same in terms of her ex-husband.

Life was giving them both a chance to right their wrongs.

Just as soon as she was drifting to a light sleep, Simon exited the bathroom with his hair damp and fully dressed. He flashed Luna a big grin and motioned to the door, running a hand through his dark locks.

“Ready?” he asked.

“As I’ll ever be.”

The walk to the cafeteria was a quiet one. Though, she assumed that Simon wasn’t telling her that there was a possibility she could see Negan. She tried to think of ways to avoid him until she was ready to talk to him that night, but couldn’t come up with an idea whatsoever.

Upon entering the hall, Simon motioned for her to take a table and she quickly sat at the edge of one of the empty tables. Within minutes, Simon sat next to her and handed her a plate of food. She could smell the fresh eggs and fruit that was on her tray.

Simon had already begun to eat, not bothering to wait for her. Luna smiled, picking up her plastic fork and began to eat the contents of breakfast.

“So, think of what you’re going to say?” he asked.

“No… I don’t know what to say actually.”

“Maybe the truth.”

“Oh, right. That didn’t even cross my mind,” she giggled.

Simon grinned, “I’m liking this version of you, Luna.”

Immediately, she blushed, looking down at her plate.

“Oh, don’t do that. You’re opening up to me. Kinda think that this was how you could be if you got past the anxiety,” he admitted.

Luna shrugged, looking up at Simon. “I feel safe with you.”

“Well, that’s a relief. Though, you kick ass better than me so I should be saying that to you.”

“Uh huh,” she smiled, biting her lower lip.

Suddenly, Luna glanced around when people around the hall began to kneel. She cleared her throat, glancing at Simon who motioned for her to do the same.

Slowly, she obliged, keeping her eyes downcast. Luna knew that he was aware of her presence and the fact that he hadn’t said anything proved that he already knew aside from last night’s events.

Luna glanced up at him just to see his boots walk past her, his eyes not meeting hers whatsoever. She wondered if he was ignoring her purposefully or if he truly did not recognize her. Once he left the hall, everyone stood and resumed their breakfast.

“Simon…” she mumbled.

“What?”

“He knows I’m here even before he saw me last night, doesn’t he?”

Simon cleared his throat. He didn’t know whether to lie or not, but instead, he decided to go with the latter. “He does… I’m sorry, okay? I convinced him to give you time and to be patient until you were ready to talk to him.”

“Does he know I’m going to talk to him tonight?”

“No. I didn’t tell him that.”

“Why did you lie to me when I asked if he was aware of me staying here?”

“Because if I told you the truth, would you have stayed or would you have just left, Luna?” he asked seriously.

“I would have left…”

“Exactly. I’m doing this for you and I’m also doing this for him. It’s time you both buck up and talk to one another. I told him to be patient with you, okay? He hasn’t talked to you for a reason.”

“You shouldn’t have lied to me.”

“I had to do it or else we wouldn’t be here.”

Luna sighed, continuing her breakfast. She glanced over at Negan who was chatting with one of the kitchen crew members and when his eyes swept the hall, his eyes immediately met with Luna’s. There was a sense of relief and guilt that flashed through his beautiful orbs, but she quickly looked away.

After breakfast, Simon led her outside where he had to work to make sure the Saviors were counting the inventory correctly. There was a mishap that happened a few days ago and Negan put him in charge to make sure it perfect.

“So, you’re going to walk around,” he said.

“Yeah. I think I’m going to check out the commissary.”

“Well, whatever you get, tell Denise it’s on me.”

“What?” Luna asked.

“On me. My points.”

“All right. If you say so. I’ll see you later?”

“Mhm. I’ll catch you later. Don’t start trouble,” he teased.

“Right. Me. Start trouble. Okay.”

Simon chuckled, watching Luna walk back into the building. He wondered how tonight would turn out with her and Negan, but he just hoped that the both of them would be able to resolve their situation and make up.

Luna bit her lower lip, looking around the busy main floor of the Sanctuary. As she neared the commissary, Denise immediately glared, watching her carefully once she began to look further throughout the small aisles.

There was nothing that caught Luna’s interest, but when she neared the clothing section, she wondered if she should dress up tonight. Thinking better of it, she aimlessly went through the undergarments, hoping Simon wouldn’t mind if she used his points on bras and panties.

As she was looking for her size, Denise seized her up, purposefully bumping into her.

“Oh, you were in my way. So so sorry,” she laughed.

Luna tightened his jaw, simply nodding her understanding and not uttering a word.

“So, you still think you’re better than everyone else here, huh?” she taunted.

“No, that’s not –”

“Oh, sure it is. You come walking in here, thinking you’re too good that –”

“Denise, I have had it about here with you. I tried to keep my mouth shut, tried to go about my own business, but I am tired of you treating me like we’re in high school. Cut it out. We are both here to make a living in this new world,” Luna interrupted.

“No, no. I am here to make a living, you are here as Negan’s new whore, right? Heard that you left and he went looking for you. Does he even know that you’re back?” she grinned.

“I don’t think what I do is your business.”

“I like to make your life miserable, Lily.”

“It’s Luna. If you’re going to act obsessed with me, at least get my goddamn name right.”

Denise stepped into Luna’s personal space, glaring daggers at her threateningly. She wasn’t aware of how skillful Luna was, but it didn’t matter. Denise always needed to have the upper hand. She always needed to be in control.

“Oh, all of a sudden, you’ve grown some balls to stand up to me? Is that it?” she glared.

“If you don’t step back, Denise, I will make you.”

“All you are is Negan’s whore, ready to open your legs anytime whenever he asks. Before this world, I’m sure you were just as pathetic as you are now. Retail, huh? Sounds like a perfect damn job for someone like you,” Denise spat.

Luna tightened her jaw, stepping forward. Her hands curled to fists and one more taunt from Denise and she was going to find herself on her back.

“You don’t know me, Denise, so don’t try and act like you do. I wonder how many people you have under your finger just because you’re such a goddamn bully that no one wants to stand up to you,” Luna retaliated.

“I think I’ve got a good idea of who you are, Luna.”

“Wow. Would you look at that? She remembers my name.”

“Bitch. Why don’t you run along and be a good girl by staying on your knees for Negan? Pretty sure that’s all you’re good for,” Denise grinned.

“You know, you talk awfully a lot about Negan. Got a crush on him, Denise?”

Without replying, Denise raised a hand to strike Luna across the face. Though, Luna saw it coming before she even made contact with her jaw. Quickly, she grabbed Denise’s wrist and turned it painfully, using her free hand to wrap around Denise’s throat.

“This is where I put you in your goddamn place. You run the commissary, that is fucking it. You don’t run the Sanctuary, so stop acting like you do.” Luna snarled, pushing her away roughly with strength that Denise didn’t think she had.

Suddenly, Denise tackled Luna to the ground, immediately bringing her fists to connect with Luna’s face. Luna lifted her off her body with the raising of her hips, delivering a hard punch across Denise’s jaw, rendering her unconscious.

“Stay fucking down,” Luna mumbled.

Then, she heard a distant clapping from behind her. Simon was standing next to Negan who looked to be watching the entire thing unfold. Luna immediately scrambled off Denise, standing up and avoiding Negan’s eyes.

“It’s about time you stand up for yourself,” Simon grinned. “And I won’t lie. That was pretty hot to see you all angry.”

Negan glanced at Simon, his eyes turning to Luna before glancing over at Denise. “Simon, pour some water over her. Make sure she’s still fucking alive. In the meantime, I’m going to take Rocky Balboa here back to my fucking office.”

“But –” Luna mumbled.

“But nothing.” he interrupted, motioning her to follow him.

Simon nodded at Negan’s order, offering Luna an apologetic glance. Luna sighed, following Negan to his office. The entire walk to his floor was uncomfortable and awkward. The only sounds that echoed the halls were the sounds of their footsteps against the ground.

Finally approaching his office, Negan held the door open for Luna and she quietly walked inside. She turned to look at him when he shut the door and locked it; no one was coming in to interrupt their long awaited conversation.

Luna watched Negan carefully, following him around the room with her eyes. She noticed him set Lucille down onto the desk before approaching her, immediately wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace.

She wasn’t expecting this reaction, but instead, Luna leaned against his chest and brought her arms to wrap around him as well.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he mumbled.

“Negan…”

“No… Just – Fuck, let me hold you.”

Luna shut her eyes, reveling in the close proximity. She had never been this close to him and she found his scent to be intoxicating and addicting. She didn’t want to let go and the fact that his grip around her frame only seemed to tighten made her smile.

He wasn’t angry.

He was relieved.

“We have to talk,” she mumbled.

Negan sighed, removing his arms from around her. He motioned for her to sit at his desk and she obliged, watching Negan grab his chair to sit next to her.

“I didn’t mean to leave,” she mumbled.

“Yeah, you did… You wanted to leave and I get it. I fucking understand now.”

I didn’t want to leave.”

“But you did anyway,” Negan sighed. “I didn’t know how much I’d miss you until you left, Luna. There was a part of me that was fucking missing. I just –”

“I look at you and I see potential for you and I. I look at you and I just – I smile because I know the true you. The you that not everyone gets to see but Simon and I. You holding me just a minute ago made me realize that I feel safer in your arms than I did with my ex-husband. Life is giving us a chance to fix our mistakes with our past loved ones and I know… I know you’d never forget Lucille, and I would never ask that of you. But, maybe this is our second chance,” she interrupted.

Negan bit his lower lip. “I wanted you the minute I met you, but it started to change from it only being about sex into something much more. I tried to deny the feelings I had for you, tried to brush them off like it was fucking nothing, but I couldn’t. Goddamnit, my wives? They don’t mean shit to me as long as I’ve got you, Luna.”

Luna sighed, keeping her hands on her lap as she listened to him speak. Everything he was saying was exactly how she was feeling and it made her excited to know that the feeling was mutual. She just didn’t know where this made her stand with him.

“It stopped being about the man that I killed in Alexandria and it started being about you and hearing you and your wives and … I left because of you, Negan. I left because I didn’t have the courage to leave my ex-husband, so I thought I was making up for that mistake…”

Hesitantly, Negan reached a hand out and placed it over hers, gently rubbing her knuckles with the pad of his thumb. “I never meant to hurt you…”

“But you did.”

Negan sighed, looking into her eyes. His own had softened a great deal and it was the first time that Luna noticed the emotion behind it. He was being serious.

“I want you, and only you. Whatever I have to fucking do to prove that, I will do…” he admitted.

“I can’t leave again,” Luna whispered.

“Good because I’m never letting you go.”

“Negan…”

“Yes, Luna?”

“I see myself falling in love with you and it scares me.”

Negan smiled, dropping his eyes and slowly lacing his hand with one of her own. “I don’t think being in love with me is that fucking bad.”

Luna giggled, blushing immediately. Negan looked at her, his smile simply broadening at the sound of her laughter. It had become so important to make her happy and comfortable in the Sanctuary that seeing her smile and hearing her laugh had been his main priority since she arrived to his compound.

“That’s not what I meant…”

Negan sighed, “I know, but does it help if I said that I see myself falling for you too?”

Luna widened her eyes. Since hearing his situation with Lucille, she thought he would never fall in love again, but the fact that he was admitting it to her had to have meant something.

“Really?”

“You’re right, Luna. This is our second chance. I’m not going to fuck it up this time around.”

Suddenly, Luna wrapped her arms around him and placed her soft lips against his. It was their first kiss and both felt a sudden surge of current run through their bodies. Luna never felt this way, not even with her ex-husband.

When they pulled away, Negan looked into her eyes and grinned. “Oh, you’re fucking mine now.”

Luna smiled, pecking his lips lightly. “And you’re mine.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, doll.”

THE END

[therake-1996-blog]

Pure Chap 11

Chapter 11

Falling Apart

 A few days pass since the incident at the school.

Zyglavis uses his powers to pull me out for a while, making the teachers think I’m very sick. Lorraine and David think I’m in my room sleeping whenever I’m at the mansion, and the other gods put a protective barrier over my house to keep evil beings away.

When we got home from school that day, Zyglavis immediately went to the Heavens and hasn’t returned, leaving me in the care of Leon. We were all surprised when that happened.

We had teleported to the mansion directly from the school after picking up the tests, much to the surprise of the other gods. Leon, Karno, Scorpio, Partheno, and Tauxolouve were in the parlor when we arrived.

“Oh, Zyglavis,” Karno had said, his brown eyes wide with surprise at seeing us so early. Upon seeing the look on Zyglavis’ face, his surprise quickly melted into worry. “What happened?” Leon looked up from his glass of wine, his face a mask of calm.

“Call the other gods here first.” Zyglavis said, his voice flat.

After everyone arrived, Zyglavis explained what happened. The parlor was in an uproar.

“Dammit,” Scorpio snarled. “That slimy asshole…”

“The humans just can’t seem to control themselves anymore,” Karno said. “The dark king must be having a field day with them.”

“And his underlings could be influencing them to act the way they’ve been,” Dui added. “More fuel for their master.”

“Good point.”

“Leon.”

When the deep, clear voice rang out through the room, everyone fell silent, their eyes turning to Zyglavis, looks of shock in their faces. He never calls Leon by his name. It’s always, ‘Minister Kitten’, ‘O arrogant minister’, and names of the like.

“…Yes?” Leon replied, his body going rigid.

“I need you to look over Eden for me for a bit. I’m going to the Heavens to report to the king about this incident.” Leon eyes darted from Zyglavis to me before his expression shifted, a severe look taking over his perfect features.

“Alright.”

That was four days ago.

As I sit on one of the couches in the parlor, watching Leon look over his documents, he glances up at me.

“You haven’t been as spritely as you usually are lately,” He says.

“This kind of isn’t the time for me to be spritely,” I reply. Man, I can even hear the grim in my voice. Leon sighs and sets his papers down, leaning to rest his elbows on his legs to look at me. I find myself shrinking back under the intensity of his honey colored eyes, wringing my hands nervously. “W-what is it?” I ask, stuttering like an idiot.

“You can’t let your fear consume you. The dark king wants that. You have to be yourself.”

“Easier said than done…” I murmur.

Leon sighs again, running a big hand through his hair.

After a moment of awkward silence, he pulls himself lazily to his feet, waving at me to follow him. “Come with me for a minute.” I frown.

“Where?”

“Just come on.”

Hesitantly, I follow him. Our footsteps echo softly through the quiet halls of the usually boisterous mansion.

“Eden, you know Zyglavis and I don’t get along,” He tells me as we walk. I nod silently. “And, even though he’s annoyingly anal-retentive and nit-picks at every little thing you do, he’s a minister, and…well, I hate to admit it, but I do have respect for him in that regard.” A smile appears on my lips in spite of myself. “You need to know that everything he does, he does for the good of you and the rest of humanity. Remember that. Now, come in.”

We’ve reached the doors to a bedroom, and he opens them, leading me in. My eyebrows raise when I see what’s inside.

The room is adorned in shades of gold, with yellow-orange wallpaper lined with lily of the Incas flowers. Directly across from me is a king-sized bed with a canopy overtop of it, cream curtains tied to the bedposts and a red comforter covering it. There are orange leather chairs to the right of the bed, situated either beside a small, shiny, light wood table. A large wardrobe sits a little further behind the chairs, and a desk is diagonal from that, a few papers scattered here and there. To my left, there’s a reflecting pool like the one in Zyglavis’ room.

This room is very ‘Leon’.

“Come here,” Leon walks over to the reflecting pool, and I trail behind him. He waves a hand over the still water and it shudders, like when Zyglavis began doing punishments work what feels like forever ago, and shows us an image of a young boy and an older woman. Maybe his grandmother.

“‘I wish I could be stronger so I can help nan.’,” Leon says as he gazes at the boy. “That’s his wish. It’s my job to grant it.” He lifts his left hand and snaps his fingers, the sound resonating throughout the large room. “Now watch.”

The boy lifts up a large box when his grandmother can’t, and a look of sheer joy overtakes his delicate features. “Look, nan! I can lift it now!” He exclaims, his voice a little distorted from the water.

“Good for you, sweetheart! You’ve gotten stronger!” His grandmother smiles widely, her wrinkled face delighted.

“Yeah! And now I can do more to help you!”

“Good people like that still exist,” Leon says as the image fades. “It’s the job of the Department of Wishes to grant the wishes of good humans to keep them good, to make them see that their deeds don’t go unrewarded. The more wishes we grant, the harder it is for the dark king to be resurrected. The Department of Punishments does the same. Keeping the humans on the right track by punishing their wrong deeds is a devastating blow to the Underworld. As long as we’re around, Eden, he can’t get to you. As long as we’re around, you can’t be touched.”

I gaze up at Leon.

“You need to keep smiling and being yourself,” He tells me. “As long as you act like your normal self, you’re not vulnerable to the dark king. Got it?” I nod.

“Got it.”

“Good. Do you want to watch me grant more wishes?” Without hesitating, I nod.

I could use some happiness right about now.

A couple hours later, I exit Leon’s room and head to Zyglavis’ to turn in for the night, and when I enter, I’m surprised to see the man himself standing by the window, as if waiting for me.

“Zyglavis,” I begin to hurry over to him, but stop myself short. Something feels…off. He slowly turns to me, his features like stone, and a feeling of anxiety runs through my stomach like icy needles.

“Let’s take a walk.”

Even his voice is deadened.

We walk out to the courtyard. The air is always warm out here to allow the plants brought down from the Heavens, where it is always spring and summer, to grow. The wind gently rustles the tress around us, blowing the sweet scents of the flowers to my nose. After a moment, Zyglavis stops walking by a bush of what look like roses, but aren’t.

“I am returning to the Heavens.”

My vision blurs, and the icy needles suddenly feel like they’re stabbing me.

“What?” I whisper. Of all the things running through my mind, that’s the only thing I can get out.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” At his hard tone of voice, I turn my eyes to look up at him. He’s staring blankly down at the bush of flowers in front of us, not paying any attention to my reaction.

“I meant…I meant why?”

Zyglavis takes a deep breath and moves his eyes to look at me. There’s no light to them anymore. They’re back to being cold and guarded like they were when we first met.

“It is highly irregular for a god such as myself to be away from the Heavens for so long. It has stymied the work flow in my department. That is all.” My brow furrows and my lips part as I stare dumbly up at him.

“That…makes no sense. You were ordered to protect me. You can’t just—”

“The king has already approved for my return,” He cuts me off coldly. “We have decided it would be best for me to work on this issue from the Heavens as opposed to on Earth. The other gods will take turns watching you until the situation is settled.”

I shake my head wildly.

“No. No! You can’t just leave in the middle of everything! That’s not fair!”

“There are a lot of things that aren’t fair.”

No…this doesn’t make sense. Everything was fine up until about five days ago. And I thought Zyglavis would at least have the decency to talk to me about something as big as him leaving Earth, and more importantly, me.

“Did I do something?” I take a step forward and grab the front of Zyglavis’ uniform. “Have I hurt you in any way? Because if I did—”

“You have done nothing wrong, Eden.” Zyglavis pulls back from me, but I refuse to let him go.

“Then why are you leaving? Don’t lie to me with that flimsy-ass excuse!”

“I’m not…lying.” I notice when his voice breaks, and my temper flares.

“Yes you are!”

I pound my fists into Zyglavis’ chest, and he quickly catches my hands. “Don’t leave me!” I cry. “Please don’t go! I don’t want to lose you!”

At that moment, Zyglavis squeezes his eyes shut, a look of pain flickering across his face. He shoves my hands away from him and turns on his heel to walk away from me. Watching him try so desperately to get away from me makes me feel like my heart is breaking. I knew this would happen. I knew it would. Still, I can help but cry out,

“Stop!” I can hear the tears in my voice as I try to reach out and grab him, but he snaps his fingers, forcing my body to freeze in its place. Keeping his back to me, he says something.

“Don’t lead me astray any more than you already have.”

And then he’s gone.

[zell-dincht]

"Tiger Lily"

Unsure if I’d bother posting to AO3, maybe if I do a followup chapter. But no one is interested in OC stuff anyway, so I’m just gonna put it here for now. Also, this isn’t part of my OC “canon,” don’t know that he’d actually agree to marriage ever, but after talking with @hipsterizzy I just love the idea of Lorne as bridezilla.

No warnings, just some language.

———

Weddings only ever meant two things to Lorne - open bar, and a one-night stand with the hottest bridesmaid and/or groomsman.  Other than that, it was a stupid ritual that was entirely unnecessary and even stupid to legally bind yourself to another person this way.  He never imagined he’d ever find himself in a situation where he’d be planning any wedding, not to mention his own.

He didn’t readily agree to the proposal, of course.  At first, Lorne thought Davin was playing a joke on him and laughed it off, nearly shattering the poor man’s heart.  He was no more forgiving when he realized his boyfriend was dead serious, and did, in fact, want to get married.

It was a practical decision, Lorne told himself, nothing more.  Originally, he wanted to just elope.  Go to a court and fill out the paperwork and be done with it.  Davin didn’t want to make a big production out of this, anyway.  It was just some legal paperwork, like going to the DMV.

But low-key had never been Lorne’s style.  The whole point to a wedding was the open bar, so there was no way he could pass this opportunity to have a party and bask in all the attention.  In a matter of days, Lorne went from repulsed by the idea of marriage to having his very own planning book and Pinterest board.

He was so focused on his laptop, scrolling tirelessly through images of wedding ideas, that he barely even noticed Davin had entered the room until a hand rested gently on his shoulder.

“Still at it?” the larger man spoke up.

“Davin, we need to decide on a color theme,” Lorne huffed impatiently.  “I can’t go forward with any other plans until we figure out what our colors will be.  I still like a deep red with gold, kind of like fire.”

“I guess so,” Davin muttered, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.  “Mum says you ought tae use softer colors for a wedding.”

“For the last time, I do not give a rat’s ass what your mother–” Lorne instantly cut himself off as he looked up at Davin and noticed his future mother-in-law step through the doorway.  He instantly flashed his best fake smile as he greeted her.  “Hi, Mrs. Dahey.”

If she heard what Lorne had said, she showed no indication.  She waved with a tiny wiggle of her fingers and replied, “I told you, just call me ‘mom.’  We’re practically family!  But how are the future Mister and Mister Daheys today?”

The strain in keeping the fake smile was growing so tiresome, Lorne suspected he had begun to scowl, so he dropped his expression to what some might call a “resting bitch face.”

“No, actually, I’m keeping my name.”

“Oh, you’ve got time to decide, anyway,” she brushed him off as if he’d change his mind, then continued,  “Anyway, I was talking to my lady friend at work, you know I just can’t stop talking about how my baby boy is finally getting married!”  Mrs. Dahey paused to wrap her arms around her son as best as she could, squeezing with all her strength.

Being quite tall and muscular, Davin could easily have escaped, but instead idly tolerated her outburst of maternal affection.  “Ma…”

“I won’t apologize for loving you too much!  Anyway, so this lady friend of mine - her daughter was married just last year and she recommended this amazing florist.  Why don’t we all go take a look, if you aren’t busy?”

Lorne opened his mouth to protest, but Davin quickly spoke up, “We’d love to go, won’t we, sunshine?”

The blonde looked up at his fiancé with a pout, and Davin wirelessly communicated with large, pleading eyes.

“Fine.”  Lorne closed his laptop with a huff and pulled himself to his feet.  There still was quite a bit left to plan, and he wasn’t going to accomplish much by just looking at pictures of flowers.

The car ride was awkward, with Davin’s mother driving and her son in the passenger seat, leaving Lorne to sulk in the back.  Once they arrived, the shop didn’t look like much, but the owner was warm and welcoming.

“Congratulations to the happy couple!” he gushed, ushering the trio inside.  “Trust me, we will find the perfect flowers for your wedding.  All I need to know is your color theme for the big day.”

“Crimson and gold,” Lorne confidently answered.

“Oh, they aren’t set on that, though,” Mrs. Dahey cut in.

Lorne glared daggers at Davin, who responded with an apologetic smile and a shrug.

“If you are open to suggestions, flowers have a language of their own,” the florist offered.  “For example…”  He gestured to little white flowers blooming in the shape of a star.  “The stephanotis here represents happy marriage.”

Lorne barely paid attention as his eyes wandered over the various displays of flowers.  Ignoring the stephanotis, Lorne stepped towards a fiery orange lily and leaned in for a quick smell. “I like this one.”

“Er… the tiger lily represents wealth and pride,” the florist said hesitantly.  “Perhaps to show you are proud to join hands with your husband to be?”

Husband.  That word still turned Lorne’s stomach into knots.  But he was too distracted by the task at hand to worry over any of his own insecurities.

“What about sunflowers?” Davin chimed in.  “Suits you, I’d think.”

“Yes, the sunflower means ‘adoration!’  It would add a wonderful touch to your ceremony,” the florist encouraged.

“To hell with meaning,” Lorne scoffed.  “No one’s going to know that.  They’ll only see how it looks, and I want the tiger lily.”

Mrs. Dahey spoke up once again, “What about some some classic white roses?”

“Too common.  Tiger lilies and sunflowers, that’s my final decision,” he replied.

There was a pause where Mrs. Dahey pursed her lips, and Lorne had hoped she would remain silent, but he was wrong.  “I don’t believe Davin was too keen on this red and yellow theme.  Are you, dear?”

“Well?”  Lorne set his hands on his hips, glaring at Davin.  “Are you?”

Meanwhile, the florist had stepped aside, more than familiar with the tensions that came with planning a wedding.  Davin, however, had found himself caught between his mother and his fiancé, despite trying so hard to keep the peace.

“This really isn’t a big deal to me, Ma,” he finally confessed with a sigh.  “I just want to marry the man I love, doesn’t matter how.  So long as he’s happy, so am I.”

Lorne felt his gut turn into knots and he was just about ready to throw himself at Davin right there in the middle of the flower shop, but of course Mrs. Dahey was quick to ruin the mood.

“This is your wedding too, Davin!  I raised my sons to have a backbone, so if there’s something you want, then say so!  You can’t let your wife or husband or whoever just walk all over you!”

“It IS his wedding,” Lorne snapped.  “It’s his and mine.  Not yours.  We don’t need your help, Sinéad.”

“Oh don’t you?”  She turned on her future son-in-law, head held high and arms folded over his chest.  “Who do you think is handlin’ most of these costs, mm?  I don’t see your mum ‘round anywhere.”

Lorne’s eyes burned with anger as he glared at Mrs. Dahey.  “I wouldn’t let my mother within thirty feet of this wedding.”

“Shame, after she’s given birth and raised you.  I taught my sons to have a bit of gratitude.”

“Unfortunately for all of us, mine barely raised me at all.”

Knowing Lorne’s strained history with his family, Davin quickly stepped between the two before this fight could get any worse.  “Look, it’s fine!  It’s just flowers, we–”

In that moment, Lorne and Mrs. Dahey both turned on Davin, simultaneously ranting at him:

“JUST flowers?  This is not just flowers, Davin, this is our wedding, and it’s a pretty damn big deal for me.  It’s my big day, and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t go the way I want!”

“This isn’t about the flowers, it’s how you need tae be a man and stand up for yourself!  Don’t just lie down and get walked all over ‘cause some blonde tart made eyes at you!”

Davin froze in a moment of panic before finally raising his voice, “All right!”

Hearing him shout was such a rare occasion, it caused the others to finally shut up, allowing Davin to continue, “Okay, there’s plenty of time to discuss our options.  We’ll sleep on it.”

“But I–” Lorne began to protest, but Davin silenced him with a quick kiss.

“Trust me, sunshine, let’s come back here later, all right?”

If they came later, Lorne realized, perhaps they could ditch Mrs. Dahey, and have better luck with just the two of them planning alone.  With a sigh, Lorne nodded his head in agreement.

Before they left, Davin paused to give the florist a friendly wave and apologetic grin.  “Sorry about that.  Still in the planning stages, apparently.  We’ll be back soon!”

The florist responded with an understanding nod and saw the group out the door.  The car ride back home was even more unbearable, even with music on the radio that Davin had played in hopes of easing the tension.  Lorne kept catching Mrs. Dahey’s gaze in the rearview mirror, and every time, he held that eye contact with a cold, hard stare.

When they returned, Mrs. Dahey was ready to park the car and go inside with the couple, but Davin managed to talk her out of it.  She dropped them off in the front of the building, leaving the two men to return to their apartment alone.

“I don’t see why she has to come along,” Lorne huffed as soon as they walked through the door.  “I never cared to be married in the first place, so if I’m doing this, I’m doing it my way.”

“I know she’s a bit… enthusiastic, but she’s my Ma,” Davin sighed.

“So, what, just because you happen to share DNA, you have to be her slave your whole life?”

“Look, princess,” Davin calmly rested his hands on Lorne’s shoulders.  “I know you’ve never been on good terms with your family, but you’re about to be part of mine.  Just give ‘em a chance, is all I ask.”

“I’ll consider it,” Lorne agreed and slid his hands around the larger man’s waist, tugging him closer, “so long as she backs the fuck off my tiger lillies.”

Davin gave a soft chuckle.  “We’ll go back to the shop tomorrow without her, and I’ll buy whatever arrangements you like, okay?”

Lorne responded with a silent nod and rested his head against Davin’s chest.  After a moment, he pulled away again, looking up at the other man with a concerned expression, “You don’t really hate the crimson and gold theme, do you?  If you’re just hiding behind your mother…”

“I meant what I said,” he replied with a warm smile.  “If I had to choose, I’d just want something small and outdoors, but I don’t care about what colors or flowers or anything like that.  I just want you to be happy.”

Lorne cupped Davin’s face in his hands and leaned up for a deep kiss.  Not wanting to pull apart, he began to nudge the larger man through the living room and towards the hall to their bedroom.

“Don’t wanna save anything for the wedding night?” Davin smirked as he allowed himself to be tugged to the bed.

“Oh, please, we’re well past saving anything.”  Lorne tugged off his shirt and flopped into the mattress, beckoning for his fiancé to join him.

Davin had done well today, keeping his mother in check and saying all the right things, and Lorne was quite eager to reward him for it.  But that’s not why they were getting married, he reassured himself.  It was totally a practical choice.  No feelings involved, whatsoever.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets (12x10)

A gift of an episode. Honestly. Such a gift. I don't have anything else to say in this intro... let's just get started.

Cons:

I will say, though, this episode did nothing to assuage my fears about the disjointed nature of this season. The going concerns at the beginning of the season were: Mary Winchester is back from the dead, and the British Men of Letters are simultaneously crazy and pretty boring from the viewer's perspective. Now, what with Billie being killed, the new thing we have to worry about is the "cosmic consequences" that will come from cheating their way out of a deal with Death. Not only does this sound like the typical big-scale-end-of-the-world stuff that Supernatural should be steering clear of right now, it also splits our focus. I'm not saying I loved the British MOL plot thread, but the longer they go without making some real progress on that, the more pointless it seems.

This episode featured flashbacks to the early twentieth century. These scenes did their job in terms of giving us exposition, but if you're going to flash back, show Cas in a female vessel, and get everybody dressed up in period clothing, it would be nice if the flashbacks added something really special. There was really no point to showing all of this stuff instead of just having our guest characters give an expository monologue. I wanted to explore all the possibilities. These angels have never been to earth before, so what does that mean for them? Do any of these characters have moral misgivings about killing the Nephilim? I guess what I'm saying is, the flashbacks were not utilized very well. There seemed to be no point to going through all that effort.

Pros:

But I'm nitpicking. I'll give a very concise plot summary: a woman named Lily is out for revenge against the angels who killed her daughter, a Nephilim. Cas teams up with angels he used to work with. We then learn that Lily's daughter was actually human, and that Ishim, one of Cas' old colleagues, knew this and killed her anyway. Lily teams up with the guys to kill Ishim, and leaves uncertain if her need for revenge is full quashed.

First off, I really loved the woman playing Lily Sunder. She was a total bad-ass, and managed to make that eye patch look properly threatening. Her dilemma was really rich, too. See, she's been keeping herself alive and healthy for over 100 years using Enochian magic, the magic of angels. However, every time she does this, it means she gives up part of her soul. Eventually, she'll feel nothing. Everything she's doing, she does to get revenge for losing her daughter. But in order to keep doing it, she's losing the very identity that makes her grieve her daughter in the first place. This is a fascinating dynamic. I really hope we see Lily again. She was far too cool of a character to waste on a one-off.

Learning more about angels is always interesting to me. The angel through-plot on this show has had a lot of missteps, but whenever the focus is put on them and it does work, it really works. This was such an example. There's a clear divide between our angel characters, here: Cas, who "fell in love with humanity," is perceived as weak by Ishim, who rejects humans as being no better than apes. Of course, Ishim is the one who became obsessed with Lily, and killed her child because of it.

The mythology of Nephilim, while discussed before, is still quite interesting to me. Obviously this helps remind us what a Nephilim is, for the very practical reason that there's a woman out there right now carrying around Lucifer's child. But it also cuts to the core of a very real moral dilemma. Cas believed - and in fact still seems to believe - that killing Nephilim is not wrong, because they are too powerful to be contained. He's not ashamed of playing his part in killing Lily's daughter, even if he knows it's tragic. When Cas finds out that this little girl, May, was human, he is deeply apologetic, but he still says that he "didn't know he was killing an innocent." Despite Lily's grief and drive for revenge, Cas still stands by the fact that killing Nephilim is right. It's an interesting direction to go. Sam and Dean can't quite get on board with that line of thinking. Somewhere out there is a mother and her unborn child. How can that be pure evil?

The best thing about this episode was the interplay between Sam, Dean, and Cas. There's so much to talk about here, I'm worried I'm going to miss some of this deliciousness in writing it all down.

It's an all too common problem in this show to introduce a big plot element (i.e. Billie being killed and the threat of "cosmic consequences") and then just let it lie fallow for too long. Reminders of the A-plot are shoved awkwardly in at the beginning of C-plot episodes in shoddy exposition. Instead, this episode does something really brilliant. Cas killing Billie is a bit plot point in this episode. Dean is furious at Cas for making such a risky decision, and Cas is angry at Dean for being mad at him for saving his life. Sam is trying to play peacekeeper.

What's so brilliant is that this resentment carries over into the actual plot of the episode, as we have a conflict of philosophies going on between Cas and Ishim. When Ishim taunts Cas for being friends with the Winchesters, he can point to the specific fact that Sam and Dean question his decisions, and belittle him by not believing he knows what's best. This is a simplistic way of looking at it, but Ishim is not entirely wrong. For all that Cas is an ancient and powerful being, the Winchester still tend to treat him as an incompetent but well-meaning ally some of the time. It all comes to a head when Dean and Sam sit down with Cas at the end of the episode and reassure him that they think he's strong. Dean isn't angry about Billie - he's worried. And Cas stays firm, too. He's not sorry for what he did.

In fact, just a general shout-out to Cas for this episode. He was definitely the MVP. The biggest laugh in the whole hour is when Dean, Sam, and Cas are all in the impala, heading to find out what happened to Cas' angel friend who called for help. Sam tries to break the awkward silence, while Dean and Cas just sit in stony silence. Dean makes a comment about Benjamin, Cas' friend, seeming like a level-headed guy who wouldn't make off-the-cuff risky decisions, and Cas responds that what he likes about Benjamin is that while he's sarcastic, he's also appreciative. Dean says "what's that supposed to mean?!" and Sam has to jump in to prevent escalation.

It was oddly refreshing to see these two angry with each other, because it felt like the way a family would really behave. Cas is staying in the bunker, by the way... we definitely got confirmation about that, and it's oh so glorious. Nobody is shunning anybody, nobody is betraying anybody... we've just got two family members in the middle of a nasty argument. The best thing is, as the story of the week unfolds, we don't lose this tension between Dean and Cas, but we also see that they're a good team. They check in on each other, they defend each other, even in the midst of their own arguments. That felt like something a family would do.

I liked seeing Cas interact with other angels, because it immediately made Sam and Dean the outsiders, which is all too rare. Cas basically orders Sam and Dean to play by his rules, and while they don't exactly adhere to that order, they seem to understand they're operating on Cas' turf, here.

I'm sure everybody's talking about the Destiel angle with this one, and while I didn't see it here as much as I have in other spots... yeah. It's still totally a thing. Especially when Ishim talks about cutting out Cas' weakness, and immediately goes to hurt Dean. And then Dean, who could have banished Ishim using an angel sigil, doesn't go through with it when Ishim threatens that a severely weakened Cas might be killed if he's banished right now. Quite a bit of casual touching in this episode as well, which I always appreciate.

I think my favorite subtle little moment was between Sam and Lily. Dean, albeit a bit unwillingly, has left Sam alone with Lily, to find Cas and Ishim and get to the bottom of Lily's story. Lily tells Sam that Ishim will kill Dean once he knows Dean suspects him of killing a human child. She tells Sam that she's willing to wait for that to happen, because she knows Sam will help her get her revenge once his brother is dead. Just the look in Sam's eyes is enough to impart so much: deep fear about losing his brother, and a bone-deep certainty that Lily is telling the truth. If anybody touches Dean, Sam will rip them apart. It pays off when Sam and Lily show up to help Dean and Cas take down Ishim. Dean says "I thought you were supposed to keep her out of this," and Sam just responds "Changed my mind."

I guess I'll stop there. I was thoroughly impressed. This episode managed to stand on its own, and also teach us a lot about these characters. The A-plot of this season of Supernatural has been something of an incoherent mess, but on an individual episode level? I'm pretty happy!

9.5/10

[alice-lover-in-wonderland]

I Fell In Love With the Devil

I walk up to Phoenix’s locker at work and slam it shut. It almost smashes his hand but he retracts it too quick.

“Well, hello to you too,” he says smiling stupidly.

I roll my eyes and scoff. “Don’t ‘well, hello there’ me,” I say mocking him. “What the hell, Phoenix?” He tilts his head questioningly and looks at me with those dark brown eyes. At one point that look would have made me swoon, but right now all I want to do is punch him in his perfect face. 

His perfectly handsome face. No. Stop that, Lili. Stay focused.

“What’s wrong,” he asks innocently. As if he could ever be innocent.

“What’s wrong? Um, how about our entire relationship was a big fucking lie! That’s what’s wrong.” My voice gets higher as the anger rises inside me.

“Whoa, what are you talking about? How was our relationship a lie?” he tries to caress my cheek but I pull away.

“It meant nothing to you. I meant nothing to you. I never did…” Tears try to escape from my eyes but I won’t let myself cry. He’s not worth any more of my tears. “You never cared about me. Not the way I cared about you. And I was foolish for thinking that you could. But you never loved me, Phoenix. You don’t love anyone but yourself.”

“Where is this coming from,” he asks confused. “Why are you saying I don’t care about you? You know I care about you.” I can’t help but laugh at his lie. He doesn’t like that very much though. “Don’t laugh. This is serious. What’s going on?”

My vision starts to get blurry as tears start to swell in my eyes. I don’t know how much longer I can hold them back. “Why do you lie to me,” I ask shaking my head at him. “What do you get out of lying to me?” 

“I’m not lying to you,” he sighs, “Okay, calm down and tell me what’s going on. Please? What happened?” He pulls me in so my head is on his chest. 

I try to I really hate him right now. I hate how he can make me feel like I actually might matter to him. When I know for a fact that I don’t and I never have. I feel so broken. I can’t stop the tears as they start to fall.

I want to pull away. I want to run away and never look back. I don’t want to be in his arms nor against his chest. I feel sick to my stomach because I know this isn’t right. So why does it feel like it is?

No! I won’t allow myself to think like this. He’s a bad guy. He doesn’t care about me. He’s only acting this way to keep me around. He has never loved me.

I fight to get out of his arms. I turn to face the wall opposite of his locker. If I look at his face, I know I will cave in. I know he’ll win and I will do everything to make sure that doesn’t happen, he’s put me through enough already.

“Just stop it, Phoenix. I already know how you really feel. So stop lying to me and just tell me the truth.” I say staring at the wall.

“Lil, I told you the truth. I do care about you. You know I always ha-”

“Stop lying!” I shout, cutting him off. He stands still. “Please, just tell me the truth. I think you owe me that.”

“Fine,” he says giving up, “what do you want me to say?”

“The truth. Just tell me the truth.”

“The truth? About what exactly?” I want to punch him in his face. He’s trying to avoid the question by asking me questions. Well, that’s not going to happen. 

“The truth about us. How our relationship was nothing but sex to you. About how if it wasn’t me it would have been any willing woman who listened to your crazy stories. How I was nothing to you but a piece of ass.” My face gets red with anger.

He doesn’t say a word. He just stands there with that stupid look on his face. Like he knows I’m right but he won’t say anything. And I don’t think I want him to. Because then it becomes real…

“Phoenix, you know I loved you. You know I would have done anything for you. Hell, I have done anything for you. But you have never loved me. The only person you’ve ever loved is yourself and there’s really nothing I can do about that. 

Even though I have tried my hardest to. I can’t change you. I can’t make you love me. But you pretending to actually care about me, that’s what hurts the worst. Because I thought I meant something to you and I never ever did.” 

I stare at Phoenix, longing for a response that I know won’t come. I can’t take the anticipation anymore so I turn to walk away. He grabs my hand and turns me around to face him. I look right into his beautiful dark brown eyes.

“Your concern for me means nothing anymore. Since I mean nothing to you. This meant absolutely nothing to you. When it meant everything to me.” I take my hand out of his reach and walk out of the restaurant with tears in my eyes. 

I can’t be with someone like him. Someone who cares about nothing and no one. Someone who I love, and at one point, who I thought really loved me. But he just didn't. I should have known this was going to happen but I just hoped that maybe I could change him. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll mean something to him. How could I have been so blind?

He told me not to fall in love with him because he’s a bad guy. I didn’t really believe him until now. He’s a monster. I just feel stupid and used. I guess this is what happens when you fall in love with a player. I think all of this to myself because what the point in even telling him how I feel anymore?

I make it to my car and get inside. I feel like everything is pointless. Looking around the car I realize I need to talk to someone. I sigh and pick up my phone. I know the perfect person to call. I dial Joy’s number and the phone rings three times.

“Third times the charm! Hiya Lili! I miss you biscuit head.” Joy giggles. Joy has recently decided to start calling me biscuit head and I have no clue as to why, but I can hear the happiness in her voice and I smile. I need that right now. 

“Hey.” I sigh, clearly distraught. I can hear Joy’s mood switch from goofy to worried. She knows something is bothering me. She always does.

“Okay, what’s wrong? Who do I have to kill?” Joy asks, already knowing the answer before I say it. “It’s Phoenix isn’t it?”

I close my eyes, sighing dramatically. “He doesn’t love me, Joy... He never did and this hurts. I hate the way he makes me feel. Like I matter to him when really, I don’t.” 

“No, Lili, what are you talking about? You guys were just fine the other day? What changed?” Joy asks concerned.

“What changed is that I fell in love with the Devil… We were never fine, Joy. I was always just fooling myself thinking we were. But the reality of it all is that he was just using me. And I was too stupid to see it… How could I have been so stupid?”

The tears roll down my cheeks, making the phone wet. I remove it from my ear and dry it off with the sleeve of my shirt. When I place it back on my ear I hear Joy say, “You are not stupid. You just wear your heart on your sleeve. You always have, ever since we were little girls.”

She always knows how to make me feel better. I love her so much. I couldn’t ask for a better best friend. “What do you mean you fell in love with the Devil? Did he do something to you?”

Oh, you mean besides make me think I mattered to him? And make me think he loved me when he never could? Or how about the fact that he just used me for sex and if wasn’t me it would have been any other female who showed an interest in him? I think to myself. I could never tell that to Joy so all I say is, “No, you know he would never hurt me.”

“Then what makes you say that you Devil stuff? What happened Lili?”

“I don’t know how to explain it, Joy. He just changed. Everything about us has changed and not in a good way…”

“What aren’t you telling me? Are you sure he didn’t hurt you? Because you don’t have to protect him if he did. You know I’ll-”

“Joy stop. He didn’t hurt me. You know he could never… I just feel so broken right now. Like all of this was pointless. We were pointless…” I sob into the phone.

“Hey, don’t cry. No man is ever worth your tears. You told me that remember? Do you want to come over and talk about it? Jay’s at work and I’m in dire need of girl time,” she says hopeful I’ll say yes.

Which of course I do. My boyfriend doesn’t love me and I need my best friend right now. I tell her I will be on the way as soon as I dry my eyes. She tells me okay and we say goodbye and hang up the phone. 

I put my phone on the seat next to me. I reach forward and grab a napkin out of my glove box so I can dry my eyes. I use the rearview mirror to inspect my face after I finish wiping away the running mascara and eyeliner. I reach for the keys that I threw on the dashboard when I got in the car and put them in the ignition. 

Just as I am turning the key to start it, my phone lights up indicating I have a text. I grab it off of the seat so I can read it. When I see who it’s from, my heart stops. I think we should talk about this, it reads. It’s from Phoenix. 

I throw my phone back on the seat and start my car. “Nope, I say to myself. I put my car into drive and turn out of the parking lot and stop at the stop sign. When I look out of the rearview mirror, I can see him standing outside smoking. Maybe I should turn around so we can talk, I think to myself. 

But I can’t handle any more heartbreak right now. So I turn my blinker on and head in the direction of Joy’s house. “Not today, Satan.”

[survivorathena-allstars]

Ep. 3: “Shrek Can Heck the Heck Off” ~ Duncan

So tribal occurred and I guess expectingly, everything went as planned. I was really nervous and I don't know why... probably since it's All Stars and everyone is here to not only impress, but to play. We're the recruits and it means that in the past we've shown definitive reasons as to why we had the chance to bypass the application process and immediately enter. It's wild. Overall, i'm fine with tribal. I would've enjoyed Julia a big longer and wouldn't have minded if she stayed, but when so many people are like "you've been so disconnected" etc, there's only so much I can personally do to reroute that. I really am hoping our tribe pulls through in this upcoming immunity. I just don't want to deal with the stress from last time, and i'm scared that I could be in danger. There is an alliance of 7 (now excluding only Duncan & Sam) but EVERYONE talks to Duncan - including myself, he's really nice - and Sam is just generically popular for whatever reason. They're both extremely active, maybe not as much in PMs as the tribe chat, but still are. This then creates the potential of a flip. I would be totally down to do so in the event that it's just... an easy thing to execute. When looking into long term, there's many people who despite how much I like them personally, are huge threats due to their connections on the other tribe. Of course I have Dana, who will work with me but obviously we'll cut one another if the time comes. But there's bigger cliques of people I guess. Emily is mutually friends with EVERYONE - and I adore her so much that it sucks. Ashvika is a legend, also really liked. Duncan has friends on the other side. It's just like... there's many groups of two-four people and it's an interesting dynamic to put as an obstacle. I guess we'll see how things go and how well people think around this and plan accordingly. Also the archipelago is RUDE! thank you. 

Ali Update! So, I survived tribal, but I've officially been hexed so I guess I may as well give up! But ultimately, while it was ugly to vote out Julia, I think going into a swap, we don't want to be the totally dominate tribe in numbers, so perhaps losing a member (or potentially two, even though I have no idea who that would be) could work to our benefit? Who can ever be sure! With that said, I am concerned going into another tribal, in that the options are either our alliance of 7, Duncan or Sam. And like.... all those options are ugly. I don't want any of those happening.... So, (and it looks like we will need to win two challenges to do this) we need to win the next two challenges basically! Which has like a 25% chance of happening, but I do think a music video challenge does actually favour our tribe, so hopefully we can win the next one too! With regards to the swap, it does look like we are gonna have an #ugly four tribes of four swap, but my theory is for each tribal at that stage, two of the four tribes will go to tribal? So it'll be tribals of like 7 or 8 people! we will see I guess, but right now, I am focusing on not having the awful task of voting out another member of this phenomenal tribe! Toodles ALSO I HAVE A VIDEO CONFESSIONAL THAT IS TAKING YEAAAAAAARS TO UPLOAD, ughhhh.

Well my plan went off without a hitch this round. I was able to get an alliance formed with Ali, Ashvika, Emily, JD, Ruthie, and Zachary to have the majority going into the last vote. We also made sure to keep Samuel and Duncan looped in so that it was a nice, easy, vote out for Julia. I love controlling votes, yes I do. So far I haven't found anything in the Archipelago. I can't spell that and I'm not going to look it up so I'm going to call it the Islands of Death.  Every time someone has searched we've gotten a notice saying that they were tired but mine never have. Where are they going? What are they doing? Suspicious. I do know that whatever advantage was with the artifacts is gone now. Someone completed the task faster than I did. I have a feeling it might have been something dumb like a double vote so I'm not that worried. Based on the rules, I think there's only going to be one hidden immunity idol and you're going to have to work your ass off to earn it. Athena, Charlotte, and idols don't go hand in hand. I'm only good at finding them in other games. Looks like we're just going to have to keep winning so I'm never at risk!

I’ve said this already but can lily be on my tribe thanks I want a tribe swap

I love my majority alliance yes I do! Honestly this game feels like one where I'm gonna make some solid friends, and even though I'm inevitably gonna have to make some rough decisions if I wanna make it to the end again, I'm gonna be close with these people for a while. And that feels really good!

the hosts hate me. they truly do. a music video challenge. my tribe is doing Shrek. and I am doing suffering.

I have been so frickin unlucky in the archipelago. It really sucks. And I feel like I've searched the whole thing already like wtf! Ugh. Anyway, I'm super excited about our challenge. I love music videos and as long as everyone can go all out, I'll be happy! So far I have Charlotte's videos but that's it. I don't mind though because um I haven't recorded my stuff either lmao! But we're winning and that's that on that.

Everyone: loves All Stars and is having a great time Me: 

Lily is (still) talking shit about me and whining in people's pms all because "i haven't talked to her." Fun fact: I DID!!!! That's right- I, the person who was targeted immediately and grew a social game to survive, struck up a conversation with a person who voted me out. And you know what the wildest part is? It went well!! I thought ok maybe we made progress and we'll be chill and cordial from here on out. But apparently that wasn't enough for her. We're strangers!!! What do you want good morning and goodnight texts?? Get over yourself- like what are you 16?? Oh wait she is, which would explain why she has all these great expectations and why me not moving heaven and earth to be her best friend bothers her. I got news for you sis: I'm doing my best goddammit while you rely on a bunch of relationships from prior seasons. Yeah I said it and I can back it up: I knew 1 person on our tribe when all stars began and yet turned the 9-1 vote against me in the FIRST FUCKING ROUND to 6-4 me staying; I built a solid alliance of 5 (we poached Cameron lol); I give every challenge my all; and I maintain decent relationships with 85% of the tribe. But because Lily happened to fall in that 15% and hasn't gotten a fruit basket, I have to put up with her shit until one of us leaves

Also I walk on eggshells in this tribe and I can barely breathe without someone having a fucking opinion. Talk to this person, make more of an effort with that person even though they're being immature, don't work with this person, trust that person, change your part in the music video even though there's nothing fucking wrong with playing Gingy from Shrek, don't mind us as we change OUR ROLES every hour because it's fine who cares if the clock is ticking. I love my tribe and they mean well but I'm 23 years old my gameplay isn't a democracy. Speaking of democracy, Elaenia is back to flopping because we can't make any executive decisions about our music video!! So here I am, mentally preparing myself to talk to everyone in the tribe tomorrow so Lily's campaign against me, which she'll whip out once we lose, will fall on deaf ears. You see what I'm talking about?? This is ONE of 2 orgs I'm in that I've been in for 6 DAYS while my job is trying to kill me. HOW HAS IT NOT EVEN BEEN A WEEK

Am I seriously about to get my second idol? I'm SCREAMING. For THIS idol, what I need to do is not talk in any public chats for 24 hours. So, I sent this lie to the whole tribe that I was silenced by someone on the other tribe and honestly I'm screaming. I've evolved and become a complete liar, this is disgustening. But now I am gonna feel less bad about telling Emily about my idol (even though I don't actually regret it that much!) I feel like telling someone about me having an idol is smart, that way if I am getting votes, they can clue me in! With this now too, I can have my own second layer of protection that they dont know about mwahahahaa. I honestly cant believe how much of a liar I have become!

I made a video confession but I was angrier than I should’ve been and so I’m typing this out because it’ll probably make more sense. So earlier today, Ali messaged me and tells me that he accidentally went to the bridge instead of clifface and I didn’t think much of it. So when I go archipelago searching, I row > path 1 > climb > complete the challenge > clifface > climb > do the simple task. NOW. The simple task is to not talk in the tribe chat for twenty four hours. HUH. At first I didn’t think anything of it, but then I remembered Ali got a very similar disadvantage only he said that someone ELSE gave him this disadvantage. So at first I’m like. Oh. This is a little weird. But I go ahead and message everyone and tell them about my disadvantage and how I won’t be talking in the tribe chat anymore. Then something occurs to me: Ali could be??? Lying to me??? So I sent him the quotes from my host chat and he immediately confessed to lying. And I tell him it’s totally fine. I’m not upset. I understand what he did and like? I can’t be mad because I was going to do the exact same thing. Now Ali is saying he’s going to give the idol. So this is amazing. I’m getting an idol no matter what so yeet. We’re talking about what to do with Duncan now. I think he’s gonna come clean. And like nskwbwjwjwjw this is such a mess! But I gotta help Ali and get him out of this predicament because this is what FRIENDS are FOR!!! Whew. Anyways I’m gonna drive home now goodbye.

i dont deserving anything, especially jaybee in other news, my game is a mess and im the mestress. emily also got silenced... I'd be shocked if my whole tribe even remotely trusts me, and I feel like a complete flop. emily is being so nice about it, but if I was her, i'd never trust me ever again ________________________________________________________________ Over the past 24 hours, I have completely ruined my game. Duncan quite rightly doesn't trust me anymore, and I'm so mad at myself for not trusting him sooner. This is the third game in a row where I've been mad at losing someone's trust and I'm so disappointed in myself. I don't want to be, but I deserve to be voted out next. 100%

I don't think I've made a  confessional in awhile and I want to do this before I get called out so. I'm hoping we'll win the music video thing just because I...don't want to go back to tribal. Not with this group of people at least. I myself feel safe and secure, but then again I felt safe and secure at the first tribal and then the tribe as a group assassinated me, like a meaner Murder on the Orient Express situation. I don't think I'll go home but??? I never know with these demons.   So anyway I found this...thing in the Archipelago. To get it I have to make sure we lose the next challenge. Not really sure how I'll do that but I guess we'll have to find out. It's kinda a win-lose situation because...like I said...I don't want to go to tribal. But maybe this can help me...maybe. I'm like completely in the dark so I don't really know anything but anything will help! 

hhhhh WOW I'm so worried! I took a look at our final video for the lip sync and while it generally looks good, theres also the issue that... i filmed in portrait mode. shit. i REALLY hope that doesnt cost us the win, because i know people despise that (and for good reason) and I dont wanna deal with tribal because I dont know shit about filming, since I'll probably be made a target for that (if not me, maybe jack bc he didn't do anything but also idk if i'd wanna do that because he did say he was uncomfortable with it)

FUCK WE LOST! AND FUCK SHREK TOO!

Literally just cried because of how wholesome the video Amanda Lynn made is, like that just made my night and I know this isn't related to the game but I really just love this cast and this game so much and I'm so happy to be a part of it :')

Me? Forgetting that confessions are a thing very briefly? Yes. I was like... how can I get out all my anger about the music video results? Um? I can CONFESS since I can't FUCKING TALK IN THE TRIBE CHAT! God damn I'm so upset about these results I'm not even kidding I could... rip my fucking hair out. I worked so hard on that video and I'm not saying Cameron didn't work hard on his but I am saying that our video was 10x better. Yes theirs had a theme but like,,,,,,, we were so enthusiastic and cute and positive and wholesome the whole vibe to our video was fun and LILY RECORDED IN PORTRAIT I LOVE HER SHE'S MY WIFE BUT COME ON LILY DON'T DO THAT and like the quality was bad too!! And I just... what the fuck we were really honestly truly robbed. Like I loved Owen as the Fairy Godmother that was hilarious and Will as Prince Charming really was so funny but also FUCK THEM IM SO FUCKING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO AMOUNT OF EXCLAMATION POINTS CAN EXPRESS MY ANGER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW I HAVE TO GO TO TRIBAL AND IT'S LOOKING LIKE SAM IS GONNA GO AND LIKE I UNDERSTAND BACK HE DIDN'T LIKE CONTRIBUTE A WHOLE LOT TO THE CHALLENGE AND ALSO HIS SOCIAL GAME IS KINDA SHITTY BUT DUNCAN IS REALLY PUSHING TO NOT GO FOR SAM AND GO FOR LIKE JD OR CHARLOTTE AND IM LIEK FDLKFKLSDDAS STOP IT??????????? I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH THIS VOTE BECAUSE I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT EVERYONE AND EVERYONE ON THIS TRIBE HAS PULLED THEIR WEIGHT IN SOME WAY AND PROVEN THAT THEY DESERVE TO BE HERE BUT FJKLSDJFKLSDJLFSDLKFSLKDFS I AM GONNA SHIT MYSELF okay sorry to be all in caps for a little bit but Vireao was just fucking robbed know THAT also we have 100% participation SUCK IT!!! Also I called it that Jack wasn't gonna contribute I knew that boy hated music videos and I was RELYING on him not contributing and like losing his tribe points. But we still lost. And the judges made mean comments except "Except for the axe welding earth destroyer. Real star of the video there. Did you make an earth just to destroy it?? I'm nervous!" that made me feel good. I'm an axe welding earth destroyer lol... but I'm also a fucking loser. Okay long ass confession done goodbye cruel world

Ok so I shouldn’t be up but like y’all know I get off work late and play catch up for like 2 hours + don’t sleep normal people hours so I’m really happy we won, mainly because that means I’m 100% safe. That’s how you’re supposed to feel but when you’re paranoid, facts help you sleep better at night. I went from comfortably being Gingy to taking one for the team and stepping up to be Shrek hours before the deadline; so even if we had lost my logic was that I contributed enough deep in the clutch to be seen more as a saving grace rather than a threat or dead weight. Highkey I feel like I’m playing harder than I really want to but these hoes backed me into a corner and every time I try to go under the radar people start running their mouth. Elaenia was branded the underdogs but I feel like the underdog of the underdogs. Yes I’m on varsity and yes I can sit with everyone at lunch but is it enough? Almost being first boot really did a number on me and I literally play day to day. I am not 18th place and I’m even happier that one of the Goliaths will fall- it truly puts a smile on my face My gut is telling me Karen wasn’t the source of getting me out; I think I just want to believe that so I can be at ease but it couldn’t be that simple. The next logical choice is Lily or Kevin buuuuut what if it’s not? What if one of these people who voted with me actually started the entire chain of events? Is Jack lying and does actually know who the source is? Is Lily not the messiest person on Elaenia? Am I justified in watching my back and being wary of everyone, allies included? Reasons why I can’t with this game. It’s a mind fuck and my brain is a whore lmao

I just took a nap now i'm regenerated. 2 hours? WOO! I think it's my time. Maybe i'm just hallucinating and paranoid - but I tend to have decent awareness of what's going on and how people interact with me, but at the same time I have a huge habit of over reading situations. Point is, everyone's being very short with me. Duncan, a person who is usually exciting and lovely, is responding with one word excerpts. Perhaps he's tired but... yeah. Emily is also similar. She hasn't changed her speech patterns in my opinion, but in the manner of what's been happening, it's just more noticeable. If I could just you know... have a say - why not Sam? I understand the 7 person alliance is not going to remain unitedly intact, but that's one easy vote. Not only did he send a 4 second clip (then a 9 second lipsync) to Emily in the last two hours, but he's been the most inactive. I do think he's a great guy, I really do - but it's stressing me out. I think Emily maybe wanted to flip though. I always mention Emily in every confessional I make but that's for a few reasons. First, she's really sweet and enjoyable and I like her. Second, she's really well connected and like a spider web of relations, so being good with her could maybe put me 1-up. Third, i'm literally being her so-called lapdog (by myself, that is). But it's all with good intent of course. Point is before I rambled was that she suspects that our group isn't tight and that we soon will require to flip since a 7 person group is a gigantic majority, and despite the fact that an upcoming swap is glooming in the distance, it is a threatening perspective. If she wanted to flip on someone, unless it was one of a few people (Ashvika... and Charlotte, I guess) I would easily be on board. I like the others, Ali and Ruthie and everyone, but i'll play cutthroat. I'm here to get myself one day further!!!! Not really. Kind of. Who knows. Nonetheless it's a great thought process, and i've been interested in it myself prior to her acknowledgement. I don't want to be blatant cause for some dumb reason I think i'm walking on thin ice, but it's there... it's a potential possibility. Duncan's very well connected so I sincerely doubt anyone would vote him out next, after Sam. Hmm... Also, I really love boulders so i've been trucking on through and now I just need 5 more days (after the 23rd) to search and i'll either find something or realized i've been wasting my time, with higher probability on the latter option. 

So I was really hoping that it wasn't going to come to this because I don't wanna vote out Sam and Duncan ciao know that they are numbers for me over Charlotte... Which for me is what this game is coming down to, me Vs Charlotte, I dont even care who wins the series so long as I can take her out lol. But I wonder if that was why she left them out of the alliance chat she throw me and Ali in. Cus she knew that with such a small number on the outside that it would be easy to get rid of the people I would most likely work with.... She claimed not to be strategic but I know better. 

I'm so frustrated. I understand tribal is not a fun subject kiddos but it's something that needs to be done and no one is talking to me. Perhaps they all unitedly agree to vote me out, but I really hope not and I don't think that'd be good for various reasons!! Who knows though.  Well, people know, just not me. I'm going to try to encourage a Sam vote or a potential flip but... that'll be whatever the others want.

Fuck I’m pissed that we lost! Grrrr. I literally never want to watch shrek ever again. Shrek can heck the heck off 

Upset we lost immunity, hope it’s an easy tribal 

AH FUCK NVM WE DID IT AAAAAAAAA IM SO PROUD I was especially flattered that Milissa enjoyed the growing nose thing for Pinocchio, I was really proud of that idea ;w; now if only I had filmed horizontally

I’m out of town. Didn’t help with the challenge. We still won. Interested to see who goes on the other tribe. My social game is weak. The end.

WE ARE SHREK ICONS

This vote is going to be beyond crazy. I’ll update you once I actually figure out what is going on

So I just filmed a video confessional, but I think I need to write out my thoughts since I'm so conflicted. God, just write murdered by Shrek on my tombstone. Anyway, first things first... How blessed are we all to know Emily? Oscar-worthy director, sane person, just inspiration. She helped handle the mess that was my silence idol challenge confusion. She is honestly the best ally I could ask for, and I am so blessed to know her, as a friend and ally. Soppy time over. Time for GAME AKJLFDAkljafd. So, I have decided I need to reassess my core allies. In this game, I need to realise that everyone is of course gonna have an agenda, so its important to coalesce with all the people with motivations similar to mine. Because we share our info, Emily definitely falls into that category, which is why she is my main ally right now. Beyond that, I feel really good about Zach atm. He is so nice and great to talk to, and I think in an alliance sense we really click? So that's why I am really here for the "EAZy Votes" alliance (Me,Zach & Emily) because I really feel those are two solid allies I'd love to work with going forwards. From that point, I also get great vibes from Charlotte & Ashvika as people I'd like to work with going forward in the game. Charlotte is a smart cookie, she knows her stuff, is super sociable and a great person to work with. So like... I'm down to clown with Charlotte. Ashvika is the only person left on the tribe who I didn't have some sort of relationship with preseason, but she is honestly just so nice. She is someone I'd truly love to work with going forwards. Ruthie, my cracked disney queen, is someone who I think would be a great and loyal ally, and like... who doesn't want some Ruthie in their life? That leaves my Emathia chums Duncan,JD & Sam. Sam is a great guy, and someone I always have a place in my soft hort for, but I just think he has for some reason struggle to ingratiate himself within the tribe, which has just made him such a target and means keeping him is like... a big move. Duncan and JD are so conflicting for me. JD has become much more cracked since Emathia, and I am down to crack some eggs, but not the whole batch... So she is scary to work with long term. Duncan I find really hard. As a friend, I love him SOOOOO much, and I always will do. I just get super freaked out, because his agenda is very different to mine (as is JDs). They don't know Zach or Ruthie while I do, which makes it hard to find plans that we agree on? Like with Julia, it was easy, but now it gets harder..... ACK, I dont know. Basically, this whole game is too much for my poor soft hort. 

This is going to be the most dark sided season of survivor. This round sam is going home (according to what I know) and I actually don’t want him out. Apparently San has just not been putting in the work in order to make friends with everybody. And I’m like sam! This is all stars! You should be performing your ass off in all aspects. Now granted I have Emily to look out for my ass but I’m also looking out for myself. It’s just Ugly because the one time I want to work closely with Sam and make amends I won’t have the chance to. JD made an emathia alliance chat so I think she wants to save sam but she isn’t pushing for it and people were being indecisive. So after thinking about it for about 12 hours I decided fuck it. It’s premerge, I cannot make any big moves rn, I’m not going to play my idol on sam. And sam is not my closest ally right now so I can’t stick out my neck to save him. JD told me she didn’t care to work with zac Ashvika and ruthie and t shook me. I’m the only one left not in that seven but that’s the only crack I need to survive another round if we were to lose again. Sidenote? I’m not happy with Ali like at all. He and Emily both found the path to the idol but couldn’t speak in the tribe chat or any alliance chats for 24 hours. Emily told us the truth but Ali told us before Emily found the path, that he was being punished. Like this makes me feel better about being closer to Emily in the game. I’m really hoping to survive the night obviously, and it’s going to suck to see sam go but this is all stars so I guess All is Fair in Love and War. And I want to win this war.

AHHH MAYBE I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING!!! I'm mid little mini challenge and I love mastermind, SURELY I can crack this quickly!  I really need to win something, our tribe is dwindling down and i don't feel safe at all!

wiiiiiiii I am going to submit a Better Confessional when I get home from Christmas just making sure I get something in this time :) I’m happy we won the music video!!!!! And I’m so excited to see who goes home from the other tribe oops!

hello sweet confessional. I don't have much 4 u, but let me say that Owen as the fairy godmother and Autumn cutting her onion made our video iconique as fuck. Made me love my alliance that much more. I keep forgetting to pretend to socialize with the other people on my tribe so they don't want to vote me out, like i'm doing a TERRIBLE job. With the exception of Autumn, the rest of my alliance is also close with people on the outside of our group, which lowkey sucks but..wig! Catch me getting idoled out honestly. Also i'm probably getting voted out because i'm friends with Zach and like umm no. Idk yall i'm paranoid and I took an exam today so like thinking? it's a no from me.

i love emily so much she could wear stilettos or cleats and do the cha cha slide (two stomps this time!!) on my face and i would thank her

hey so i'm about to save the world by doing a challenge!!!!! aaahhhh!! i don't know what'll happen if i win, but I need to repeat verbatim a phrase from everyone in the tribe chat. kind of thinking that i'll just do it all at once. we'll see you on the other side! oh yeah and it has to be done within the next hour.

HOWDY YALL SOOOOOO I was kind of worried that the other tribe would go fuckin ALL OUT in the music video but our shrek strategy really paid off??? Now that Julia is gone it's going to be super interesting seeing how the dynamics of that tribe split up. I don't think it's going to be another unanimous vote. If Ali and JD stick together, probably with Sam.... And Ruthie/Ali were close af in festive. Emily seems good with everyone. Idk???? I can't see Charlotte Duncan or Zach going either? Ashvika could be in danger tbh but that's so fuckin ugly. I don't want any of them gone but if I had my pick I think JD going would be good for me. She's an obstacle in my relationship with Ali. But who knows! My tribe is really lucky we pulled out a win. I think tension is still rising surrounding Lily being a threat but there's been talk of Jack or Lily having something from the archipelago. SPEAKING OF WHICH I FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING OMFG DSKADJFHKJ so at the beginning I was exclusively looking under these boulders and I started going in phone number order..248-7....then I stopped. I caved and grabbed a torch bc there were only two left. But then I realized a bunch of people prob grabbed the torch and got everything from there so I stressed out and returned my torch in order to go BACK to the boulders...and did the next digit of my phone umber....AND HAD TO DO A CHALLNGE! I basically got an extra vote that can only be used at f14 or f7 which is kinda useless to me for a while but it's better than nothing. And it is also a legacy thing I believe so I'll pass it down. nice. I feel like I've been getting even closer to Will this round. I like him a lot and I think he hopefully trusts me as well. I thought I'd be closer with Dana and Cameron but Will is someone that I really wanna go far with and he's the first person I told about my vote thing. I told Cameron too, he's my first ally and rn prob my best ally. Autumn and Dana I've continued to talk to too. I haven't messaged Jack that much oops but he a freak !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fjskahdfj not rlly but I dont want to work with him. I would if I had to but for now I want him gone! Sorry! Although I like how presst he seems to be that Emily cut him. I'm trying to make a snapchat group with my alliances bc teams that snap together stay together. But I'm scared of a swap coming soon :( i love our tribe and the other people I do rlly wanna play with but I want them to kill each other a bit more first. also I've been tyring to figure out why the other two premerge buffs are completely different fonts and designs but i cant do anythin about it rn so might as well not worry about it! if the game changes up I'll change with it

like okay i'm gonna succeed in the challenge but uh it's blatantly obvious that i'm going for something. but this is ALL STARS Y'ALL GOTTA RISK IT TO GET THE BISCUIT RIGHT??? (pls let me win this game)

Ack, I'm really scared Duncan is gonna idol Sam! Also, I feel bad for Sam, he is doing my parroting challenge :( [04:31] Duncan: in every season [02:33] Samuel Rutan: in every season

This vote has been an absolute roller coaster because Duncan has been pushing hard to save Sam and like... people aren't budging. Except JD is actually so cracked? She made an Emathia alliance now she's voting out Sam? And Charlotte messaged me saying she thinks that JD would flip on us??? And honestly this whole vote has been so nerve wracking and like I pretty much feel safe because I worked so hard on that music video but also? I contributed a whole lot to the scavenger hunt in Crossroads and they VOTED ME THE FUCK OUT so I mean WHO FUCKING KNOWS they could be plotting to get me out I don't KNOW!!! But I've been talking to Zach a whole lot more and he's such a nice person and I love him and I want to work with him going forward. FUck tribal is starting I'm so fucking scared

YOU GUYS I AM SO ASHAMED THAT I THOUGHT SAM'S NAME WAS FREAKING SAMUEL like what the heck, what's wrong with me? WHY AM I SUCH A DING A LING???? UGHSDFLJDSFLSJFLSDFJ

I don't really have much to confess right now but I love building my edgic!! It's interesting that our tribe is very divided right now in terms of majority/minority alliance and that the other tribe has had two unanimous votes...very interesting...But as the days go on I feel more and more connected to my alliance of five and can see that the other 4 have made basically no effort to talk to me since the Karen vote (like we've talked about things aside from the game) but like...Kevin doesn't talk to me at all, Madison's lowkey sketchy even though she's a queen, and Jack and Lily haven't talked to me since I apologized for keeping them out of the Karen vote. Also a note - anyone can say "I would've voted with you" and that's an easy lie to tell. So it doesn't really sway me when they tell me that about voting Karen out.

Sam becomes the 3rd person voted out of Athena All Stars in a 8-1 vote. You can see Sam’s preseason interview here.

[survivorelsalvador]

EPISODE 12 - Let The Big Dogs Fight It Out - Chips

(If a confessional is just a gif or a picture then it was most likely Veronica, winner of Jeju Island, uwu <3)

Ashton

Ayyy finally on top. I've been playing from the bottom for most of the game and now I finally have the numbers. Me Richie Lily and Chips, That's the four and I plan on going all the way with them. Wow it feels good right now. Finally have some power.

Dana

"WHY DON'T YOU REINTRODUCE YOURSELF LILY... AS QUEEN OF LYING.

I 100% deserve this flip from Lily. But Nicholas? Honestly, he's self-proclaimed bobo the fool part 2. Lily really got us good.  

Realistically, I probably should have seen this coming, but I didn't bring snakey, cutthroat, paranoid, always-paying-attention, and plotting Dana to this game. I brought the most ~causal~ UTR version of myself instead, so I wasn't even thinking about people flipping on me.  

What does this mean for me in the game? I have NOTHING to lose. I called people snakes in tribe chat tonight, basically, I'm being the best version of myself. Don't think you can take sweet beautiful Queen Willow from me without thinking you'll have hell to pay. Me, Zak, and Nicholas are hopefully going to figure something out to keep at least a few of us around as long as possible. Zak added us to an alliance chat called ""are we aligned,"" which I think pretty perfectly describes the fresh hell and confusion this game has been so far. I DIDN'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT NOT HAVING ALLIANCE CHATS. That's how fucking chill i'm trying to be.

Now lets move on to Lily. I'll applaud her, a VERY good move. On a personal level? I absolutely love her, she's a great friend. BUT she must have learned something from Bahamas Dana, huh? Sometimes you have to lie in this game to win, and I think she has set herself up very well to be at FTC and i'd be ecstatic to see her get there, because my questions for her are already nice and prepared. If Lily gets to FTC, she's facing a MASSIVE problem. Lily PREACHES honesty and loyalty, and in this game, I believe her lack of both of those in this game will be to her fault. See here's the thing, if you don't PREACH a loyal game and PROMISE honesty, but people believe you are loyal anyway, you can act however you want and apologize later. You never set any expectations for your behavior in that scenario, other people did, and you simply broke them. HOWEVER, Princess Lily MISSED a piece from my Bahamas playbook. Because she has vowed loyalty all along in this game. She in fact DID NOT vote for me in Bahamas because according to her own metrics for voting, you should vote for someone whose loyalty compensates for what they lack in strategic gameplay. We have had this conversation in and out of game context, where she insists that this is the way to vote in this game. NOW. If that is true, then Lily has basically already asked me not to vote for her at the end of this game and I'd be HAPPY not to.

She's going to have a difficult time because both logically and logistically speaking, how am I supposed to analyze her game play any different than she has assessed and devalued mine in the past? At the same time, how could I blatantly reject the ways she has HERSELF asked others to evaluate her game play in the past?  

Tonight had me SHOOK, but also infinitely more excited to see what happens next. I love waiting on apology tours :')

Nicholas

Dana

Time to cause as many problems as possible. I'm going to be telling lies as fast as I can type them. I'm at the point where I go home if I don't tell enough lies today, so i'm here for it. I have a 50/50 chance of going home according to Lily, which means that I'm going to post my boot list and who i'll vote for to win in the tribe chat and just let that bomb explode. If I go home, it's been fun and I can't wait to fuck with people on jury.

Richie

well that vote went really easy for how complicated it was... willows gone (RIP) and no idol was played so we could have taken either nicholas or dana out but thats fine willow was a threat because people liked her i'm just nervous about an idol this round im still suspicious about nicholas having an idol so i think voting out zak would be the safest thing to do because he'd be the least likely to get the idol played on him if nicholas is in possession of it??? but i just won another immunity even though i didnt really want to and the target on my back is just increasing and theres probably no way i make it to the end unless i win out and ive really just been getting lucky on these comps so thats not realistic lmao

Chips

So, highkey, I'm working incredibly closely with Richie in this game because why not and if he wins over me I honestly don't care since the last game we played in together I robbed him of the final two when I won the final individual immunity challenge.

Anyway, he tells me that Dana is pitching hard for her alliance of three Dana/Zak/Nicholas to stay by claiming that she just NOW started talking to Zak anyway. I'm just - Okay... I want to just say bye to the three of them. After that group from the tribe before merge tried to come for my life if not for an idol play they all need to go before I feel comfortable. Richie feels similarly, we're thinking when it gets to final five is when we're going to turn on our own alliance and cut Lily... but until then our group of four should be sticking together.

The only wrinkle in our plan is that they have two vote cancelers which means they can force a tie or something? I dunno... I'm just gonna sit back and let the big dogs fight it out.

Ashton

Here comes the pagonging. Well hopefully. Thats the best case scenario for my game at least. At this point there isn't much of a reason to vote me out. I'm pretty beatable at the end since I don't even talk to the other side. So rn my plan is to just make sure all my alliance members want to take me to final 2/3. Also please be final 2 I think my only chance to win would be Chips and I at the end. If it's a final 3 then i'm fucked cuz either Richie or Lily will win.

Lily

Well damn. I guess I successfully flipped??? Richie is defiently keeping me in the loop now and I love it (and him) and hope that we can stay strong until the end. I feel so bad for turning on Nicholas but he seemed so adamant on voting with Dana I didn't want to ruin the plan by telling him. We will see how the votes go tonight. If there are three votes or two votes because I'm negating danas vote then I will know Nicholas voted with Dana and zak. This is fine but it would be nice to know that Nicholas still doesn't want to vote for me. It would be nice to some how take him farther if he has an idol or something. But I just don't think it would be possible. I wish I had an idol because I would totally do another flip cause that would just make this game crazier and honestly that's what the confessionals need. Hopefully I make it past this and all the way to an FTC. If not, I really hope they get me out this time so I can keep the 7 streak alive. We will see. Dana claims to have majority but I just don't see it. But you never know I told Dana to always keep fighting and I know she has been working Richie hard   I hope when I explain my entire game to her in FTC (if I magically get there) that she could at least consider voting for me. I still feel as though I played a loyal game. I had to continue the lie from that one vote much longer than anticipated, and I hope she knows how much of a bad ass she is and how much I love her. Nicholas Richie chips Dana Ashton zak Ily (zak thank you for all the snaps it's me or you bud or it's rocks and then it's not me or you so we can continue the snap streak fuck yeah) 🦄