#but a friend i have never met irl remembers my favorite color and knows my candy preferences and sees things that remind them of me

[leemarkies]

pt 18372948 of why i am literally so lucky to have such an amazing friend

[factual-fantasy]

31 asks! Thank you! :}} ☯️

Now I'm gonna be totally honest, I DO have a favorite twin and its Ingo <XDD But I also fully understand and support your point!

What makes Ingo and Emmet so fun and interesting to me is their bond! How they mirror each other, how they interact, their strength as a team! Sure separating them for the angst is great an all- but truly showing them together and more importantly as equals is where the good stuffs at!

This is also why I usually try to wrap up their separation arcs in my AUs, and also don't really enjoy reading any Legends Arceus content.. seeing Ingo alone is not only heartbreaking,, but its also just not as fin. Ingo and Emmet are stronger together :)

@sallychaosaura (In response to this post)

Miiiight be a bit too late for that <XDD

@orangesideirrational

Thank you! :D I'm glad :))

Sorry, no can do! <:( Also thank you! :))

(Post in question)

(It was very intentional! :}) He's stressed. 😔

Ugh.. well, thanks for letting me know.. and at least the commenters know I don't consent to reposts..

😔

@thatweirdocryptid

TORPEDO??

@soulful-rodent (Post in question)

Well in-game we was traded to a friend and back so he'd evolve..

Buuuut lore wise, without a trainer..? <:D No idea-

Probably somewhere around 100 <XD

@xtra-collab

Absolutely terrifying! Next question XD

@lost-brain-privileges

No, no, aaaaand poorly, XD I'm doing fiiiiine won't worry! :)

@beeboboingo

AAATHANK YTOU SOMNUCH!!!! :DDDDDDD

I can imagine when he first gained the ability to hide in peoples shadows, he probably gave many people quite a scare without meaning to <XDDD

@cat7890

Thank you! :DD And Their stories are kind'a vague when I take out my trainer..

I'm thinking that somehow, Midori met Gloria in their first evolutions and became friends. Then they found Grim..

later on Midori found Anastasia after she had run away from a battle. She tried to hide but her shiny gold color made that impossible.. Midori took her to Gloria and they took care of her.

Afterwards they met Sylvester..

Beyond that, I don't have any details in mind.. 😅 Sorry!

Typically I prefer horror games/movies, but ONLY when they're being played by or watched by someone else in a YouTube video XDD

Some of those YouTubers being Elvis The Alien and Markiplier! :}}}

@fragmented-ghost (Pokémon Violet team master post)

AAAA I'm so glad you like them! :DD I plan to draw them more at some point, but atm I kind'a got sucked back into the Violet grind XDD I'm just about to beat the main game! :0000

@justanintrovertedweirdo

I have! :DD I like it quite a lot an have drawn some things for it here and there! Though I never got around to completing the game..

Someday I'd like to go back and beat the game. I can imagine I'd jump right into the fandom afterwards if I did XDD

XD Probably!

I don't remember talking about that.. if you had a link to the original post maybe I could remember with context..? <:0

@tallchest13-blog (Post in question)

XDDD I'm glad you like them! :))

XDD All of those titles made me laugh! And I see your point, but I have a few counter points to this ask..

For 1, to keep with the theme, I would want to/have to make this cape IRL in order to add it to my sona. Now if the last 4 quilts have shown me anything? Its that I'm not super great at making quilts <XDD

If it was that challenging to make it on a smaller scale? I cant imagine how much trouble I'd have trying to make a full size one! <XDD Plus buying the materials... having to physically get up, go buy the stuff I need and make it. With these health issues I've been battling, that's not something I wanna do atm.. 😅Not to mention with how hot its been lately, I don't think I need a quilt anyways-

And then lastly- I'd have to draw myself with it every time! I like my sona being a simplistic blob that has minimal colors and not much of a model to keep too. I worry a quilt might take that away.. :(((

XDD I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees the potential! :))

I have a few times here an there. Just to hang out with some friends :)

I mean, I don't know the history between you two... But my advice is to leave them be. If they ghosted you, they probably want space..

@iloveseriess

I altered the story of Welcome Home to make my version of Sally a teenager. So I was thinking she could be bluish-white to look like a young star..? But looking back I don't like the blue.. For story purposes she might stay a teen, but I think I'll keep her yellow <XDD

@anikakitty11

Yoo! :DD She's so colorful! And that black shadowy arm is so spooky.. Does she have a story? 👀👀

(Pixel art tutorial in question)

I'm glad it helped! Happy pixeling!! :}} 👋👋

@minnesotamedic186

XD Don't worry its fiiiiiine!

I've wanted to draw evil Grim and Sylvester again in general, but I don't really have any ideas for them yet.. 😅

[maddygoesthemiles]

I went on the most amazing camping and hiking adventure in Colorado this weekend! Super long post and beautiful pictures are under the read more.

On Thursday, three of my friends and I packed up the car and drove up to Silverton. We set up camp and then went for a big meal at a local establishment. Gotta carb up to prevent altitude sickness!

We were all expecting it to be chilly and wet, but it was actually a bit too warm in the tents.

On Friday, we hiked down to the Animas River. This was a great warm up hike! I loved getting to hear and see the train while we were hiking! It was a tough hike back to the top.

We got back, showered (our campground had hot showers!!), and grabbed some pizza and beer!

Saturday morning started out earlier and chillier. We had to get up early, as Ice Lakes is the most popular hike in southern Colorado (according to a ranger we met on trail on Friday).

I felt disheartened and nervous. The hike on Friday was so hard that I got nervous about the steeper hike on Saturday. I was way more in my head and psyched out than I normally get. I was grumpy until we saw a waterfall and took a super cute group photo.

The trail got steeper and harder when we hit the forest and beyond the tree line. I kept thinking, we’ll take a real break after the next hill is over, but the hill never really stopped.

Finally, we made it up to Island Lake. As everyone on their way down assured us, it was totally and completely worth the climb! It was so incredibly gorgeous. The pictures turned out beautiful and it’s always twice as pretty irl.

We hung out there for a few minutes before traversing the short route to Ice Lake. I came around a bend and started crying at the view. It was the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen and I had worked so hard to get there. I couldn’t get over it and probably walked about a mile with a stupid-huge grin on my face.

The connecting trail took us over an exposed cliff face. Those don’t bug me, but I had to pull out my patient, calm teacher voice to coach my friend across. We all made it!

Ice Lake was just as pretty as Island Lake. The color of these lakes was unreal! We stopped to fill up our water bottles and eat some snacks.

The route down from Ice Lake was very steep. I’m so glad we went counter-clockwise! There was a steep, granite section and a creek crossing (one of many of the day). It started raining and thundering right as we hit the basin.

Ridiculously, people were still climbing up at this point. Some wearing jeans, some with only one water bottle, and all of them who didn’t understand the danger of being above tree line in a thunderstorm. It reminded me of the tourists on Camelback.

Sometimes I wish I could just teleport back. Just as I was hitting that point, we saw/heard a marmot (my favorite animal) and I remembered why the hike back is worthwhile. Did you know they chirp like a dead smoke alarm? I didn’t!

We were well below tree line before it started really pouring. My new raincoat worked great, but at this point, my knees were trashed and I was grumpy. I speed-walked the rest of the way back!

After the hike, we showered and warmed up and broke camp. We drove down to Durango for dinner. All I wanted was nachos but when we got to the restaurant, I found out they were sauerkraut and corned beef. Massively disappointing. I ended up with overcooked wings.

On Sunday, we dilly-dallied around Durango and hit up the Durango Coffee Company. I love it there!

None of us were ready for our time in the mountains to end, so we really took our time driving back. As we were driving through New Mexico, we stopped at this place called the Bisti Badlands! It was a mini badlands. We didn’t have the time or the water to go far, but we stuck it on the list of places to explore. Pictures definitely don’t do this one justice.

We were welcomed back to the valley with a beautiful rain storm! Desert rain smells so much better than mountain rain.

I had the best group ever! We laughed so much and never got tired of each other. It was cool to pair off in different ways depending on the car, the trail, or the tent. We came back with tons of inside jokes, which is the mark of a lot of fun.

[woah-thats-haikyuute]

tagged by @floralegia 💕💕 I haven't made a personal post on tumblr in maybe 10 yrs. and I don't think I even remember how lmao

Last song: my spotify daylist this morning is playing a whole bunch of panic! at the disco so I don't know if I want to answer this one lmaoo but uh the last song played as I worked on this was "Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks". I've been listening to fob exclusively for a year but have been slowly breaking the curse with mcr and adjacent side projects. I have been LOVING AND LIVING for Frank Iero's solo work. thank you spotify daylist when you cooperate 💖

Favorite colors: pink and purple! 💗💜

Currently watching: I just finished the new season Bridgerton so not watching anything really at the moment. Though before bed last night I put on Seinfeld as background noise. Lately tv has not been all that interesting to me. I have watched a bit of the Stanley Cup playoffs but I end up not finishing the games because I go to bed before it ends 😔

Spicy/savory/sweet: spicy!! but not too spicy that it hurts my tummy. I love thai food!!

Relationship status: single 💔 but I'm okay with it. I'm very independent and enjoy my freedom. That said, I'm not lonely. I have so many lovely friends (online and irl) that keep me busy 🥰

Current obsession: I've entered a new fob phase since June 2023. Tour/2ourdust has dominated my every day since last year. I've told friends the story of me getting back into fob. It's kinda long but basically I got back into the concert circuit after seeing blink 182 last year at MSG and was talking to a friend about the next shows we could go to, over brunch. she mentioned fob, and me, normal at the time, said oh I know them, they make bops, that could be a fun show. I didn't even know that there was a new album. I proceeded to listen to stardust and said I *have* to see fob live. Fast forward to today, I've seen them 9.5 times (the half time is the VMA taping from Sept loool). And now I'm reading rpf, which is definitely new for me. As a wee teen I was never into bandom/rpf but I love it now. And I'm forever grateful for the friends I've met along the way!!!

also I'm entering a 3rd mcr phase, and this time mega obsession.

Tags: uhhhhh idk if she'll do it but @thetigerinspace

[manicinnerthoughts]

I realized today that a huge part of my issue is that I genuinely have no idea who I am. I don't think I ever really knew who I was. I adopted my brother's taste in music and my mother's love for art. The only thing I know for sure is that I am a black female with a shitload of trauma.

I didn't get to grow up with any black influences in my life. Never met my dad's side of the family, the only black figures in my life were my mom's countless boyfriends, and I went to all predominantly white schools.

I've always felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I remember when I was a kid I was constantly told I'm the whitest black girl they'd ever met. It didn't help that I was light-skinned, but that's not what they were referring to; they were referring to the fact that I didn't "act black".

We were too white for the very few black kids we knew but black enough for the white kids to ask us why we didn't live in the projects and the white churchgoers to ask us if we were adopted.

My mom used to think it was funny to say that she's blacker than we are because she grew up with all black people and went to predominantly black schools. Yet somehow didn't think it was important for her black children to experience anything other than whiteness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another thing I have realized recently is that nobody knows me outside of the basic information: my name, where I grew up, my favorite color, my hobbies, and my favorite animals. Even my IRL friends couldn't tell you anything about my life, any genuine knowledge about me.

I want people to know me, but my adult life and my childhood have been 90% trauma and I don't even know where to begin to explain this shit to anyone. I mean, I guess I kinda did that above; I'd like to say that the issues surrounding my ethnicity and identity sums up my childhood trauma, but that's not even the beginning.

I guess it really started by being repeatedly ripped away from my family. I had been in 5 RTFs, 2 respite homes, 2 foster homes, and 3 outpatient facilities by the time I was 17 (which is actually when I was diagnosed with autism). On top of that, we lived in 4 different homes before I graduated high school so I quite literally moved around my entire life.

Imagine being 5 years old and having just been removed from your household for the very first time. Now imagine going through that regularly throughout your childhood. That alone fucks kids up.

My entire life consisted of being the new girl; getting used to new rules, adjusting to new personalities, struggling to make friends; making friends then leaving them.

That's a lot of change for an undiagnosed autistic child (or even an NT child) to go through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My life has been a majority of being abused and I genuinely have very few happy memories growing up. My mom has done a lot of fucked up things to me; she's called me racial slurs, thrown things at me, hit me, and even burned me, but none of that compares to the fact that she did nothing to protect me from her boyfriend (I'm assuming you understand where this is going. I don't want to go into detail) Instead of being a loving mother and breaking up with him to keep me safe she kicked me out a few months after I graduated.

That's how I left one abuser for another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had just graduated high school & moved directly into a homeless shelter for a little while. Before I got kicked out I started talking to a guy I went to school with and he said I could stay with him for a while. I was so happy to get out of there that I said yes and I moved in with him.

I stayed with him for 8 years and during those 8 years I was raped repeatedly, held hostage, beaten, and he tried to kill me twice (I know a lot of you are probably thinking you could've just left, but we lived in a third-story apartment and he quite literally imprisoned me. I am also epileptic so I didn't have a license and no family to stay with).

To this day I automatically assume everyone I meet is going to hurt me. My friends have hurt me, my mom has hurt me, the man who claimed he loved me has hurt me. I genuinely fear getting close to people now to the point I isolate myself in a room.

I have tried so hard to heal from all of the shit I have been through. I'm afraid I'm stuck hating myself and everyone around me and I have no clue how to change my view of myself and my view on the world around me.

I know this has probably jumped around a lot and for that I apologize. This has just been me manically writing about shit I struggle to cope with.

[jadequeen88]

Incel Tomura

I couldn’t think of a good title for this, so... I just went with something real blunt. Anyway, this was inspired by a friend and how she actually met her IRL boyfriend.

PAIRING: Incel!Shigaraki x egirl!reader

TW: face sitting, degradation, mommy kink, reader basically bullying Tomura (he deserves it)

3.2k~

AS ALWAYS MY FICS ARE STRICTLY 18+

“TCH!”

Tomura scoffed at the screen of his laptop. The Discord server he helped admin had gone to shit since he let that idiot Dabi loosen the requirements to join. It was one thing when Toga joined. He knew she was a decent gamer. But you? With those stereotypical cat-ear headsets, perfectly done make-up and short skirts? Please… He saw right through you. Just another fake ~uwu~ e-girl trying to pretend they knew what they were talking about.

It didn’t end with you being annoyingly informed in the gaming chat, either. You were always in the anime and manga chats, too… Suggesting different ones that there’s no way you actually enjoyed.

But the WORST part of you being in the server? Spamming the picture chat with selfies and outfit pics. No, it wasn’t against the guidelines and yes, you got lots of compliments (of course, you were clearly hot), but it made Tomura livid. Where there used to be pics of half-built PCs and screenshots of character upgrades, now there were endless pictures meant to tease and bait the guys in the server.

Today’s picture is what sent him completely over the edge. Your hair was put up in two messy space buns, signature pink cat-eared headset perched on your head. Your black, mesh top was straining against your tight, hot pink bra, barely hiding your cleavage and your slender neck was adorned with a chunky, black collar with a large, silver ring hanging from the front. The icing on the cake, though… the thing that broke him, was the face you were making. Eyes crossed, little pink tongue lolling past your perfect hot-pink lips, it was an obvious ahegao face. The caption read:

“New collar! Thank you for da gift @XxXknifey_wifeyXxX”

Followed by a bunch of annoying ass emojis.

Tomura shifted in his gaming chair, his growing bulge making his sweats tight. He gritted his teeth and opened his DMs…

******

You snickered as you opened your text chat with Dabi. Poor Tomura… He had no clue his friend was an old high school buddy of yours and sent screenshots every single time he bitched about your presence on the server. At first, it was just a couple of snide comments, but you quickly decided to turn it into a game. You’d add more emojis than you normally would, flirt shamelessly with Toga in the chat, and be very vocal with your opinions. Then it progressed with more and more selfies, pics showing off your new skirts, and pics of your pink, girly gaming setup. Today you pushed it with the ahegao face, you’ll admit. It was pretty out of character for you, but you couldn’t wait to hear about Tomura’s reaction from Dabi.

It was everything you hoped it would be:

Decay_666_

So can we give those bitches their own chat or what? Seriously, I’m sick of seeing their shit everywhere. Did you see her ahegao face selfie? This server was supposed to be for ACTUAL gamers, not fake e-girl sluts spamming the chat with their bullshit…

Cremation_Daddy

Lol, damn dude, calm down… we can make a separate chat. You’re the only one on the server complaining. Y/N really fucking you up that bad?

Decay_666_

Oh, fuck off… she’s just being an attention whore and it’s getting on my nerves.

Cremation_Daddy

Yeah, whatever you say. Prolly jerkin it to that selfie right now

You didn’t know why, but you kinda had a crush on the skinny loser. Knowing how worked up he’d get over the smallest things you did thrilled you. You wanted to know just how badly you affected him and today was the day you’d find out.

*****

Tomura heard a ping from his monitor alerting him to a new DM. expecting it to be Dabi giving him more shit, he scowled and clicked over to his Discord tab. When he saw that it was you DMing him, it was like someone had poured a bucket of ice water over his head. He could barely type he was so nervous.

Y/N

Hey :)

Decay_666_

Hi

Y/N

How did you like my new collar?

Tomura panicked. Had Dabi said something? There’s no way he’d do that. How did he even respond to that? He decided to feign ignorance.

Decay_666_

What collar?

Y/N

*image*

He audibly gasped. You sent him the selfie you’d posted in the chat earlier. Somehow, it was even hotter than the first time he’d seen it. Probably because you had sent it to him. You wanted to make sure he saw it. The thought alone made him painfully hard. He typed out a shaky response:

Decay_666_

Yeah… you look really pretty :)

He grimaced. He couldn’t think of anything clever when he was put on the spot like that. Plus, how long had it been since he’d spoken to a girl one on one? Much less a hot one? Never. That’s when.

Y/N

Aww, you’re so sweet :) wanna see it in person?

Now Tomura was wondering if he’d died and gone to heaven. Did she want to meet up? Wearing that fucking collar? There’s no way… He stared at the screen for a good ten minutes before another ping brought him back to reality.

Y/N

I’m free now if you are. Plus, there’s a new episode of *insert favorite anime* out and I didn’t wanna watch it alone.

Decay_666_

Yeah. Sure.

His response was almost uninterested but inside he was panicking. When was the last time he showered? How much time did he have to get ready? Did he even have any clean clothes? He leaped from his chair and ran to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Another ping rang out and he raced to check his DMs to see that you’d sent your address. To his surprise, you only lived a short walk from him. Another jolt of excitement shot through his spine as he quickly responded.

Decay_666_

Be over in 30 :)

He turned on the shower then started picking through his pile of clothes finding the ones that smelled the least offensive. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this nervous and excited at the same time.

*****

 Tomura shifted from one foot to the other, nervously scratching at the side of his neck. He caught himself before the skin there broke and he ended up having to deal with a bloody neck on top of already being a nervous wreck. He’d only been standing outside your apartment for a minute or two, but it felt like an eternity. He kept checking his phone to distract himself. Just as he was starting to question if this had been a good idea, the door flung open.

His eyes widened and his mouth turned into a thin line. You answered the door in a fucking towel. He began opening and closing his mouth like a fish that had been plucked from the water. You giggled innocently like it was perfectly normal to answer the door nearly naked.

“You’re here a little earlier than I expected! I just got out of the shower. Come on in,” you moved to the side to give him room to walk through the door into your small apartment. You were sure to not move completely out of the way so he’d have to almost brush against your chest. You could feel him stiffen and hold his breath as he passed by.

This was going to be so much fun…

*****

Tomura’s dick had been painfully hard the moment he’d seen you in that towel. Luckily, when you’d gone into your bedroom to get dressed, he was able to position it in his waistband so he wouldn’t be pitching a tent in front of you. The thought of you noticing him popping a boner just by looking at you in a towel was mortifying. 

However, what you decided to change into didn’t help his situation. Your baby pink terry cloth shorts would have shown the curve of your ass had it not been for the little row of ruffles around the bottom. Your tank top, the same baby pink color as your shorts, was pulled tight across your chest (holy shit, were you not wearing a bra?!). A fleeting glance at your chest proved to Tomura that you definitely were not wearing a bra.

“You can come on back,” you beckoned from the doorway of your bedroom, “I thought we’d be more comfortable in here…”

He gulped and rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans before nodding and rising to walk towards you. Your room was foreign to him. Decorated with all shades of pink and purple, soft, plush bedding, and a soft pink glow emanated from the LED strip lights that lined the walls. Tomura stood awkwardly, looking around for a chair to sit in when you flopped onto your bed and began pulling up the streaming app on your tv. 

You looked up at him sweetly and patted the spot on the plush comforter next to you. “Come sit, Tomu! You don’t have to stand way over there. I don’t stink, ya know,” the wink you gave him made his knees buckle.

“Umm,” he chuckled nervously, “No, of course not. You, uhh… you smell…”

No, you were way too close. This was bad. There’s no way he would be able to string together a coherent thought, much less hold an actual conversation with you. You pout and lean in even closer to him.

“Tomuuuuu!” fuck, he hated that he loved that stupid nickname, “You think I smell?!”

“What?! N-no, not at all. I was trying to say that-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you tilted your head to the side offering up your neck for him to smell and he swears his eyes crossed as he tried to absorb what was happening.

“I even wore my new perfume! Go on, smell. Tell me what you think,” you smirk looking out of the corner of your eye.

Fuck.

You were teasing him, he knew you were, but his dick was so hard that he was completely at your mercy. He leaned in to take a tentative sniff and his eyes wandered lower. His breath hitched when he noticed the outline of your hardened nipples peeking through the thin material of your tank top. Before he knew what was happening, you turned your face forward and put your mouth next to his ear.

“Are you looking down my shirt, you pervert?” you purred. Tomura made some sort of incoherent noise and pulled away.

You laughed and pushed his shoulder playfully, “Geeze, I’m just kidding! You’re wound so tight.” you pause making a thoughtful face.

“Oh, I know how to help! Come on, over here,” you pulled him between your spread thighs and proceeded to rub his shoulders, working out all of the knots in his lean back.

After a few seconds, Tomura began to relax into your touch, slumping slightly and letting out a tiny sigh. He was deathly still the entire time you massaged him. He was terrified if he moved too much that his raging boner would free itself from his waistband. When your hands left his shoulders, he started to move away just to be pulled back into your lap. His head landed in your cleavage as your hands trailed down his chest. 

“Hmm, so tense, Tomu,” you whispered into the crown of his hair, “Is my massage not working?”

He wanted to yell that of course he was tensed up. That his dick is the hardest it’s ever been in his life and if he doesn’t hold as still as possible, he’s scared he might start humping the air like a pathetic dog. Before he can answer, your hand trails down to the waistband of his jeans, and he freezes. The tips of your fingers brush across his leaking tip and Tomura lets out a low, needy moan before he can stop himself.

“Just what I thought,” you purred as you began to trail your fingers up and down the hard bulge in his jeans, “Pathetic. Look at you, so fucking hard for me. And all I did was rub your shoulders.” He wanted to defend himself, but all he could do was whine as his eyes rolled in the back of his head while you continued touching him through his jeans.

“And to think, I never thought you’d want anything to do with some fake bimbo like me. Because I only game and watch anime for attention, right?” you squeeze his cock through his jeans, causing him to yelp. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself, incel? Wanna tell me why your dick is this hard for me if I’m so annoying to you?”

The realization that Dabi had told you everything flitted through the back of his mind, but he didn’t have room in his brain right then to be mad at him. He had to do whatever he needed to do to keep you touching him.

“I, ahh... I’m s-sorry,” he stuttered pathetically. The front of his jeans was wet from your teasing and the denim was rubbing him raw through his thin boxers, “D-didn’t, fuck, didn’t mean it like… ahh, l-like th-that.”

You loved how easily you could wreck him. You pet his hair back from his sweaty brow as you cooed at him lovingly.

“You know,” you removed your hand from the front of his jeans and he whined from the lack of friction, “You really hurt my feelings, baby. I thought you were so cool and the whole time, behind my back, you said just mean things about me.”

He sat up and turned to face you. His pathetic, needy gaze shot straight to your core. The power you held made you drunk and you desperately wanted more.

“No, no no no…” he grabbed your hands and you realized how clammy they were, “I’m-I’m so sorry. Please! Please…”

“Hmm,” you studied him for a moment, “Well… There might be a way you could make me feel a little better.” you tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, “You were so mean to me.”

“Anything! Please! I-I’ll do anything for you!” desperation started creeping in, thinking you’d leave him hanging with no relief. Little did he know, you had no intention of letting him go any time soon. Your plush lips curled into a devious smile. A soft hand reached up cupping his jaw.

“What a good boy, Tomu,” a tremor passed through his body. You reached over to your nightstand and pulled out the collar you’d taken the selfie in. 

“You know,” the collar danced between your painted nails, “This also came with a leash. I was thinking,” your lust-filled eyes meet his, “If you wanted to be a good boy for me… You’d let me see how pretty it looks around your neck.”

Tomura hesitated, his eyes rapidly moving between your eyes and the collar you held. After a moment of consideration, he nodded. You giggled and clapped your hands together excitedly leaping off the bed. You returned with a short, chain-link leash.

“Now,” you leaned in and fastened the collar around his neck. Your bodies were centimeters apart and Tomura thought he might pass out, “When you’re wearing your collar, you don’t call me Y/N,” you nudge his ear with your nose and whisper, “You call me ‘Mommy.’ Do you understand?” you feel him nod against your face.

“That’s not how good boys answer their Mommy. When you answer me, you say, ‘Yes Mommy’ or ‘No Mommy.’ Is that clear?”

“Y-yes… Mommy.”

“Mmm, what a good boy,” you placed a soft kiss on his neck and he let out the most delicious whimper. You hooked a finger through the ring on the front of the collar, “You’re gonna go sit in Mommy’s gaming chair and let her use you as a toy. Okay?” 

Tomura’s head was spinning and he almost couldn’t answer until you jerked him by his collar, “Y-yes, Mommy. Please, please make me your toy.”

You stood and dragged him over to your chair and made him sit, “What a polite boy you are! Saying ‘please’ without being asked. If you keep that up, you just might get a reward,” his belt buckle rattled as you worked his jeans down his narrow hips. 

A ragged breath escaped his chapped lips as you removed your tiny shorts revealing a black, lace thong. You straddled his lap, your dripping slit hovering a centimeter over the angry, leaking head of his cock. His hands shook as you placed them on your hips and slowly moved your thong to the side. Descending an inch at a time, only teasing his tip, was causing him to come undone underneath you.

“You’re already so close and I’ve only put the tip in. You better be a good boy and not come until I tell you to or you’re going to be punished,” you pushed another couple of inches inside and he nearly wept.

“I-I’m trying, M-mommy! I wanna be a good boy!”

“Mmm, I know, baby. You’re doing so,” another inch, “So…” and another, “Well.” you were fully seated on his cock now. Tomura knew he wouldn’t last. Your velvet walls were sucking him down harder than anything ever had before. It made his fleshlight feel like it was made of sandpaper. You had ruined him for anything else. 

With a few rolls of your hips and some high, airy moans, he was about to bust. “Mommy! Mommy, please! I-I’m g-gonna…”

“Tomu,” your voice was authoritative now, “If you come in Mommy’s pussy, I’m going to make you clean it out with your tongue then I’m going to sit on your face until I come as many times as I want.” your hand wrapped around his throat and you started bouncing on his cock. Your filthy words and aggressive motions catapulted him into an orgasm.

“You bad, BAD boy,” a smack to his cheek broke off his moans, “You disobeyed me! Did you do that on purpose?” your hand around his neck flexes, “Are you just a dirty incel that wants Mommy to get mean with you? Answer, Tomu!”

“Yes, Mommy!”

“Tell Mommy what you are…”

“I-I’m a-a… dirty incel.”

“And what do you want?”

“W-want… want Mommy to b-be mean to me…”

You lift him by the collar and attach the leash. He’s thrown onto the bed and you waste no time hovering your dripping slit over his face.

“Now,” you jerk the leash, “Clean up your mess.”

Tomura knew he should be disgusted right now, but his dick was getting harder by the second. With each lick inside your sloppy hole, he shamelessly moaned against your skin. The vibrations were going straight to your clit, causing you to ride his face harder. This went on until you’d almost reached your peak.

“Oh, baby,” you’re making Mommy feel so, so good, “I-I’m gonna…”

Tomura grabbed your ass and moved you back and forth on his face as he sucked your clit into his mouth. Your orgasm hit hard and fast. You lifted your body giving him a moment to breathe before sitting back down, earning a startled mumble from him.

“Don’t think that’s all,” you laughed and humped his face, making his eyes roll into the back of his head, “Be a good boy and mommy might even let you come…”

Tomura only nodded as he began to eat you again like he was starved. Maybe all the stuff you posted in the Discord server wasn’t so annoying anymore...

[farmnap]

Fluff Alphabet- Dream

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Dream likes physicality/clinginess. He acts annoyed sometimes but he loves it when you climb into his lap while he’s streaming or how your always by his side whenever you guys going anywhere. He enjoys knowing where you are at all times and making sure your safe. 

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

He would love to have a family with you. He’s super paternal and kind so he’d totally be a good dad. He would want a family because he seeing how kind and strong you are believes those are good traits for a parent.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

His positions switch up. Sometimes he likes to bed help and comforted and other times he holds you tight. Either way he gets as close to you as possible. dream is 100% a human furnace when sleeping. This makes it difficult to cuddle every night but he wouldn't let you go.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

He’d probably try to be fancy and romantic all the time but is too goofy to. Like he’d take you to a restaurant but the food would be terrible. Or you’d go to an art museum and would just make fun of the “art”. 

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

My humor. You make him laugh and to him he finds that the best feature in an S/O. 

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

 when you met his family and y’all got along great. he remembers Drista’s laugh as you teased her about school, and how nice you were to his parents. he loves his family and to see how respectful you were made his heart swell

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

He wouldn’t be gentle at all. I feel like he’d treat you like he would Sapnap, like pushing you around and play fighting (not hard dw) he would never hurt you but he also enjoys joking around with you. 

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

He would hold your hand tight to his, even if they got sweaty and hot. He likes having a hold on you so he could protect you. Sometimes he swing your hands back and fourth in the middle of Walmart, hitting people sometimes on accident.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

His first impression was your smile. How it lit up your face and made the world seem brighter. It makes his heart skip a beat every time he thinks of it

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

He doesn’t really get jealous. He knows you love him and trusts you enough that he doesn’t have to be jealous. He does get angry sometimes when you directly flirt back, even if its a joke, because he believes that that is reserved for him.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

He deffo kissed you first, he probably dropped you off at your house or honestly pulled you into a car make out before you get home. He kisses you passionately and deeply every time. He portrays his emotions best that way.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

I feel like he would wait for you to say it first, he’s had his share of heartbreaks and has walls built up I assume. But once you say it to him he’s eager to say it back.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

His favorite memory is on your guys’ first date when he ate like all of your salad in four bites. He was looking at you shocked and you got all embarrassed. He found it hilarious and the laugh you let out when he told you he was just impressed, was beautiful.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

He would so spoil you oml. He will buy you anything you ask. He would buy you an amusement park if you wanted. He jut knows he had money and he likes to help and spoil the people he loves.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

I’d say blue because its an emotional color and you make him feel all the emotions. 

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

baby, babe, cutie, bitch.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?) 

He likes sword fighting. He loves the skill and hoe it’s literally irl pvp

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

He hates rainy days bc he loves to go on walks with you and play football in the backyard. He jut watches tv all day, its boring but if you join him and cuddle into him, its manageable. 

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

He used to cheer himself up by playing minecraft or maybe even working out, I can see that. He cheers you up by making you laugh and making you feel happy for at least a few seconds. 

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

He often talks about his friends and his career. He keeps you updated and also venting to you is a good outlet for him. 

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

He just lays down or watches football. When he’s stressed he often gets angry, so he tries to avoid you as to not make you take on his anger. 

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

He doesn’t show off at all as we know but he is proud of his career and fanbase. 

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

He wouldn’t make a spectacle of proposing but he would make a video of it. Weather that video was posted online or just kept in memories would be up to you. 

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

I don't know enough music to accurately give a song sorry:(

Y = Yikes (Do they ever mess up in the relationship?)

Dream doesn’t mess up often but when he does its usually stupid. One time he snapped at you for asking too much about dreamsmp lore. You were just asking so many questions and his patience is only so strong.  He snapped at you, yelling loudly, telling you to just leave him alone. Now that alone wouldn’t be too bad but he got in your face and cornered you. You got scared, naturally, and had a hard time trusting him. I believe that he isn’t “toxic” but just explodes

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

He would get another cat but probably not a dog due to patches.

[noro-noro-noro]

dreams again! 1: visiting someone i don’t know well at the beach & we encounter a bulk detonator and also there’s a rabbit that transforms into a baby 2: got lost at school 3: visiting again & we have to go get lunch 

had a dream I was hanging out with someone I hadn't met before & their parents were driving us everywhere bc he didn't own a car. first we went to the beach but only stayed there for like 20 minutes?? & I missed half of it bc I wanted to catch a new Pokemon in Pokemon go in the parking lot. this always happens whenever I dream about going to the beach tbh. i saw a shark. anyway we were walking back to the car & then I saw something in the first nearby so we went to check it out. we then ended up running from a bulk AND crassus detonator through the forest. every stomp caused a fire. we weren't the only ones - there were also other people running. we ended up sprinting through the flaming forest & ended up at this old lady's back yard at the crack of dawn when it's kind of purple out. she hollered at us to stay off the grass & I thought about warning her about the detonator & ended up not doing it. we all ran down across the street & suddenly we were in my mom's neighborhood down the street from our house & in this guy's backyard. he came out to stop us& snapped his fingers & suddenly the fattest softest gray rabbit I've ever seen ran down the porch and started nsiffing us. we picked him up he was so soft!!! someone I was with shaved him ??? while the owner wasn't looking, so I took the rabbit to my mom's bedroom & explained that I would cast a spell to grow all his fur back, though it would be a different color for a little bit. i did the spell & the fur all grew back glittery gold. then the rabbit turned into a white styrofoam baby covered in gold glitter that immediately started crying. it had the comprehension of a 4 year old so I was like "the glitter will come off look it's already coming off here!" & started to take it back to the owner.

2nd dream: kind of like a group field trip from a summer camp or class idk. we went to a lot of areas on my college campus but actually it was like completely a maze of brick buildings and underground paths that went into shopping areas or construction materials. me & a couple other random people + the loser that asked me out a year ago ended up losing the rest of the group but I sort of knew a shortcut maybe?? i recognized some areas. the guy who asked me out was following me so closely & I really wanted to push him down the stairs to get away from me but instead I just blocked him irl so he vanished. anyway I came out at the intersection I recognized about 10feet ahead of the rest of the group so I was like woo!

dream 3: visiting with the same person from the first dream again. we were walking around his city to meet his parents and my parents somewhere. my uncle was some kind of diplomat so he got us reservations at this celebrity building by lying and saying that we were celebrities. we were at a gift shop first & I kept wanting to go to the science museum & then remembering "the science museum is in my city, not this one!!" the dude I was with barely talked to me which stressed me out bc I was here visiting him & we've said like 10 words to each other total. i was checking out the card aisle in the gift shop (which was very gray and monochrome with one window) &/but there were only lik 30 cards. one was almost an exact copy (it was red instead of green) of a stupid card I mailed to my friend last year that never arrived, & the rest were weird & not funny. in the gift shop I read a diary entry that said I was wearing a "three centipede skirt" for only the 3rd time & I wanted to see what skirt I was wearing bc that sounded cool?!! but when I looked down it only looked like pinkish red cherries on a navy blue background, same as my favorite tank top from when I was 10. we eventually left the gift shop & started walking to the celebrity building restaurant thing. all the buildings were like twice as tall as they should have been & it was super cloudy and windy like it was about to rain. we got to the building & walked right in like we owned the place & security stopped us, but I bluffed past em. the guy I was visiting freaked out & tried to run away & accidentally slammed into a guy but I hit em with the "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? IF I'M LATE TO MY MEETING IT'LL BE YOUR HEAD ON THE PLATTER" & they eased off & I went upstairs. lunch was weird. they were serving "tornado yak: cooked by the wind!" & various other meats and starch foods. there were these weird garlic baked soft crackers with huge air bubbles & also a second type of meat & some kind of flaky sweet pastry. i wanted to try the tornado yak but it only came in huge chunks. it was really dry. my uncle told me I needed to write a positive review of it, so I spent most of the meal thinking "what's something positive I could say about this??" towards the end of the meal the stewards or bodyguards or whoever all left. now that we weren't being supervised, we started taking food and wrapping it up in napkins to put in our pocket. it became like a minigame to select leftovers and put it in the napkin. the ones I selected were glowing white. then I got woken up by my dad using power tools in the living room again.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #463

“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers  /  the lust of love, a brute desire”

Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car... Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been. What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss. Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids. Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme. Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once. What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love. You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard. What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am. When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny. What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face. Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom. Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally. Do you respect your parents? Yeah. What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude." What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore. Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen. Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful. Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no. Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully. Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working. Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes. List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is. Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes. Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan. Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue? Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No. Have you ever visited hot springs? No. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth. What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into. What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really... Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No. Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story. Are you muscular? No. Working for it. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one. How many burners does your stove have? Four. Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.

[dracharenae]

𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄   𝐈'𝐃   𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄   𝐓𝐎   𝐆𝐄𝐓   𝐓𝐎   𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖   𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑   : 𝟎𝟏 .    𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐒  /  𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄   :   my penname is jo, after jo from little women, who was a huge role model for me growing up. she is my goddamn  Q U E E N. my real name i’m not too enthused by so irl i go by an array of nicknames, which also includes jo, so technically it’s a penname and a real name. 𝟎𝟐 .    𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘   :    february 24. 𝟎𝟑 .    𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂  𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍   :     pisces. i’m a FUCKING FISH. 𝟎𝟒 .    𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓   :     5′8″ and a half. i’m a tol gorl. 𝟎𝟓 .    𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒   :     writing, procrastinating, horseback riding, reading, making my friends smile, editing, baking, cosplaying, sewing, crafting, collecting miscellaneous things. i.e., star wars funko characters, action figures, comic books, plushies, etc. i’m a grown ass woman who loves her some plushies, COME AT ME. 𝟎𝟔 .    𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄  𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐑  :  i’m a bitch who can’t choose. i fucking love teal, black, soft green, and pastel pink. those are the color combos which are chef’s kiss. 𝟎𝟕 .    𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄  𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊   :     it varies, but for now i’ll go with a storm of swords, which is the third book in a song of ice and fire and was a book that goddamn destroyed me. i finished that book in, i think, four days because i couldn’t put it down.  𝟎𝟖 .    𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓  𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆  :    montero by lil nas x, which is a fucking BOP. 𝟎𝟗 .    𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓  𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐌  /  𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖  :   for show that would be iron fist, because my dad just started watching it and he likes watching those shows with me ( since i can answer most marvel based questions ). and film wise that would have to be snyder’s cut: justice league, which is a fucking masterpiece and i have sobbed and obsessed uncontrollably over it. 𝟏𝟎 .    𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  :   so back in either 2014 or 2015, i started writing this little story about rhaenys targaryen for no other reason than i wanted to, because i had always loved the idea of “ what if [ blank ] never died ? ? ? ” when it came to fictional and historical figures, and the character just always stuck with me.  particularly, i saw a picture of naomi scott and knew she was rhaenys. but i didn’t understand role-play culture at the time and naomi didn’t have any resources in that era, so i just stuck to my fanfics and used her face as my fun little story cover. but my character and plot-based inspiration for rhaenys stems a lot from history. one of my favorite historical eras is actually the romanovs in 1918, as well as the mythos surrounding anastasia’s alleged survival ( which was debunked in 2007, i believe ). i grew up watching the 1997 animated film, so those ideas definitely influenced my portrayal of rhaenys, minus the amnesia. certain aspects of anya’s character exist in rhaenys’, such as her no-nonsense attitude, her level of sass, and her wit. but in terms of historical impact, the romanov duchesses weren’t actually treated like princesses and didn’t have the most high-end lifestyles that we translate to royalty in modern day. and furthermore, i take into account general royal life also translated from the tudor dynasty, such as in how unpredictable and often life-threatening princess elizabeth the i’s childhood was, as she was often subject to banishment and being hyper-aware as to her friends and enemies at court. despite the glamorous nature of princesses, which are details which translate more in rhaenys’ verses where rhaegar lives and becomes king and she is a princess in king’s landing. but it also has an impact on her views in her default verse where she’s trying to avenge her family and reclaim the iron throne. but also on a similar historical note, i draw a lot of rhaenys’ ptsd, her general trauma, and her fear of madness from soldiers, which i’ve gathered from various film, book, and real-life portrayals on people who have fought in wars. in the books, rhaenys is killed at three years old, so in my portrayal she is saved at three. i don’t know how many people have met three year olds, but i have an array of nieces and nephews, and i can assure you that three year olds remember the hell out of shit. they forget nothing. so while rhaenys does not have entirely vivid memories of her past and what escaping king’s landing was like, the same way someone older would remember something traumatic, she does recall those smaller details which exist as nightmares and echoes, and there are triggers which ignite them. and there’s also the idea of survivor’s guilt ... basically, i could go on for hours over the various inspirations which have helped me craft rhaenys, and i might make a giant ass post of every single influence one day, but the gist is: rhaenys is a melting pot of historical, personal, and fictional based influence. and me being gay for naomi scott since 2014/2015.

𝟏𝟏 .    𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘  𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃  𝐔𝐑𝐋  :   so i knew that i wanted to have DRAGON and PRINCESS in my url, but i wanted it to sound unique and, sighs, pretentiously poetic and ~ aesthetic ~. so i went to google translate and i basically went through these words in various languages until i found a translation which felt right for what i was looking for. i am 87% sure that i settled on latin for both and combined the two, but i can’t remember and, tbh, i lack the energy to fact check. i’m tired, okay ? ? ?

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃   𝐁𝐘   :   i lost who tagged me and i’ve tried to look through my notifications but i lost it and i’m so sorry, i am THE WORST. 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆   :   @radishflower, @gevivella, @thebcstofus, @kinginthcsouth, @stormbcrn, @artificiallyimplantedmemories, @rcsegilded, @ncrthernkxng​

[thestarssystem]

hello! same anon who asked the last question about being able to send an ask! i've been having questions about whether or not i could be an osdd system (1b to be specific) but i can't find answers to sone questions so i was hoping you could help me out? it's really long, sorry:(

1. the thing i have the most issues with is alters fronting. i don't exactly know how it feels to have another alter fronting and taking control of the body. there's only been a few times where i've genuinely felt like i wasn't in control of my body & felt trapped in it but other than that, whenever all my other alters(?) fronted i would still generally be able to control the body. i don't know how to explain it. for example, an alter who i think is a protector was fronting last night but besides the name and some traits, everything was pretty much still the same, like as if i was the protector? and i'm not the most knowledgeable on how osdd works, but should i be feeling atleast somewhat out of my control ?? it's happened pretty much every time an alter(?) has fronted(?) and i ended up in a really bad mood after trying to validate the possibility i might have osdd because i didn't know if this was real or if i was just being delusional. and this is kinda a silly question but when another alter fronts, thinking is still the same, right? like they can still talk in their head like a singlet would and such

2. 'voices' in your head - a lot of systems i've come across generally have the voices. i don't, atleast i don't think i do. again, i don't know how it would be if i experienced it. is it like how someone would talk to you irl? or is it more vague? or is it like, more of a feeling that you can't really 'hear' but yk it's saying that?

3. i can't exactly communicate with my alters, if i have any. i don't know how to and even then it feels really odd trying to talk to myself and again, i start to feel dumb/delusional again because osdd may not even be the case.

4. similar to the last thing, is it normal to 'talk' to your system? like last night for example, it's a blurry memory now but i remember 'we're going to bed now' 'we're gonna do this and then sleep' and such, despite the fact i know we can't really communicate. i think another alter was fronting then

4. i have trouble recognizing my alters as seperate identities and people, and rather tend to think they're pieces of me. so like, if another alter were to do something, and later i fronted, and if i would talk about what the other alter did i would still use "i did" rather than "(other alter) did". i'd just like some advice on this part

5. i have no idea whether or not systems i've met have 'different talents' but i've seen it going around a lot. to be more specific, my 'talents' or other stuff has never really changed. i usually still have social anxiety, my triggers are usually still the same, i've never suddenly gotten good at anything, and so on. is it a normal/common thing for systems for that not to happen?

6. memory. i have really bad memory, which actually led me to did/osdd (+ 8/9 year old me going "why do i feel like two people" and googling it years ago), and i always have trouble recalling what happened. after i do anything and i try to think back to it - it's just foggy. i can sometimes remember a bit of what happened, but generally i'll have to think for a bit and the visual memory of it will just be really really blurry. this happens pretty much every day but i have no idea if it does the same with important events because nothing important has really happened. and another thing - when you switch, do you still remember friends/online friends/family? i've had times where they've seemed odd(?) and somewhat unrecognizable but i've always known it's them, same with trauma and other stuff. i've always kinda known about it.

7. i've tested some things multiple times. for example, a few days or weeks ago, i was doing and typing stuff on discord in a server just for me, for fun. when i went away and checked back later, i know that it was me who did it, just not,, me, yk? like it happened with my own fingers and hands, i didn't have exact visual memories that i did it, but i had memory of doing it, so like, i knew, despite the fact another alter could've been the one doing it. same thing happened last night - now that i look back at the account i, or my alter, created, i can tell it wasn't exactly 'me', but i still had memory doing it. and it's never been like "what is this? i have zero memory of doing this" or something like that

8. i don't really have roles for my alters. well, some do. for example i think a protector (and maybe caretaker as well) was fronting last night. i just have trouble with the roles? if that makes sense. unless it comes naturally, like the protector for example, it's just kinda really hard for me to make stuff out. i also have dpdr & i dissociate and i believe that influences on how i view my identity and how i can't really make out stuff, even stuff like emotions, my opinion on something, who's fronting, etc.

9. as far as i know, systems have an 'inner world', right? i know some systems that don't, but i'm not sure if i have it and i dont know how to find out if i do

to add on, i'm kinda worried i might just be thinking i have osdd because i've been exposed(?) to it and that i might just be delusional and that i'm just making people up

lastly, would it be a good idea to try to reach out to alters? and if i should, how would i do so? thank you :D !! again, i'm really really sorry this was so long! don't stress yourself out on this please:]

- fox

DISCLAIMER: We are not trained mental health professionals! All of the information we give is coming from our own experience as a system, or from research we have done! We always recommend that, if at all possible, you speak to a therapist about OSDD/DID!

hello! thanks for you questions! i’ll do my best to answer everything haha. I’m going to section everything off in the same way you did, but there may be some overlap between questions!

1.)I’m gonna start my answer to this by saying that switching feels and looks different for every system. There is no one way to switch. What happens for us when we fully switch is the obvious dissociative feeling, and then it feels like we’re “falling” almost and then after that falling feeling, we’ve switched. With your experience you’re describing, though, it seems more like co-conscious or co-fronting. Co-conscious is typically a feeling like you’re still in full control of the body, but another alter is in the ‘passenger seat of the car’ and is giving their thoughts on what’s happening on the outside. Co-fronting is more of a feeling where you feeling like you’re half in control of your body, and another alter has half control of your body. This can be a moment (that i’ve vaguely described on my tumblr actually) of feeling like “this isn’t my hand. I’m not controlling that arm.” However, that feeling can also happen with depersonalization. To help you tell the difference, i think it could be helpful to journal when/if you get those feelings and if you “feel” different, like you could actually be another alter. —/ part b.) for my system at least, thinking is still the same, regardless of who’s fronting. I’m not sure if that’s the same for other systems, but i’ve never heard or seen anyone talking about thinking being any different, but i have heard systems discussing something i’ll address in #2

2.) so, in my experience, my system does not audibly hear each other’s voices. Some systems do, and some systems have a different form of communication. Since i can’t talk about audible voices, i’ll only talk about ‘intrusive thought’ communication, which is what we experience. For my system, we get an intrusive thought of sorts. It’s just a thought, but we can tell who it’s coming from (honestly not really sure how, it’s just a feeling. I can always tell who is telling me something) That thought is different from normal thinking though, because it doesn’t feel like it’s coming from us and it has a different... vibe?? idk i honestly can’t really think of how to explain it lmaoo. To continue my answer from part 1, alters can use something called “passive influence” which is where they ‘control’ your thoughts to get what they want. An easy example is if someone asks what you (the fronting alter) want to drink and you want to answer water, but another alter wants sprite, they can use passive influence to say that YOU want sprite, when really you don’t. That’s the only way I can really think of the act of thinking being different though haha.

3.) my system doesn’t really have the best internal communication, but that’s the case for a lot of systems, especially new ones. It takes time and determination. One of the ways i’ve seen suggested to help with internal communication is before you go to sleep, when you’re in the calm and peaceful state, just ask into your head if anyone is there and wants to talk to you. Let them knower they’re safe and that you want to talk. Keep the convo friendly and ask them about themselves (i.e their name, age, role {if they have one}, favorite color, etc)

4.) to be completely honest, it’ll just take practice to change your habit of using “i did.” I don’t know how old you are, but you went your entire life up until this point believing you were a singlet. Using “i did” is still natural for you to use as a default. Try to catch yourself as (or after) you say “i did” and try to correct yourself and overtime that habit will hopefully be broken. The same goes for not really recognizing your alters. You went your whole life thinking everything was just ‘you’ (the host) so now, when discussing OSDD, it might be hard to really pinpoint who is who. That’ll just take time though. But don’t force your alters to fit a specific mold you made for them. Everything with figure itself out eventually

5.) what you described (with different talents and different mental health issues) doesn’t happen to my system and i believe it doesn’t happen to a good portion of systems, especially OSDD systems. The only thing that really changes for my system from alter to alter is preferences, such as food, instruments (my system knows how to play 8 instruments and each alter prefers one over the other lmao), and hobbies (like reading, painting, and writing) HOWEVER, we all still can paint and play all 8 of our instruments with the same skill. Our skill level doesn’t change between alter, just our desire to do that activity (if that makes any sense lmao)

6.) problems with memory and forgetting things is not a sign of OSDD-1b. Dissociative amnesia is only a sign of OSDD-1a and DID. I think it might be helpful to keep track of your switches and see if your memory “fog” overlaps with it. If yes, then you should probably consider check out OSDD-1a or DID. If it doesn’t, my honest suggestion is to consider talking to a doctor/therapist about memory problems and short term memory loss. (also to answer your question asking if we remember online friends: yes, we always remember other people, regardless of who’s fronting)

7.) this relates back to the memory question. OSDD-1b is not characterized by forgetfulness or memory problems. With OSDD-1b, you will never have that moment of “I don’t remember doing this” unless there is a VERY specific reason (i.e. a traumatic event that needs to be hidden) It is normal, on the other hand, to know that another alter did something, rather than you, and still have memory of it.

8.) i think roles are difficult for a lot of systems. I know my system had (and still has) a little bit of trouble with roles. My biggest advice is actually something i’m following rn and that’s to not force roles. Let alters naturally choose their roles. It may take a really long time though, but that’s okay. It might help to do some research as well. Google all the different alter types and see if you can pinpoint some that fit your system (like i said though, don’t forget those roles! let them have the ultimate decision)

9.) My system doesn’t have an inner world. We have something called Aphantasia which makes it impossible to see images in our head. There are systems who don’t have an inner world, however i don’t know if there is a specific reason or not. Ive heard that meditating can help you access the inner world, as well as, once again, trying to access it before you fall asleep. However, because I can’t have an inner world, i haven’t done much research on the topic and I suggest that you try and find a method that works for you :)

closing points: When considering any type of mental health problem/ mental disorder, make sure you’re not bending the diagnostic criteria to fit you. With OSDD, there are slight differences between every system, but nothing major that would require serious bending of the criteria. At the very end, you asked if you should try and reach out to your alters. You DEFINITELY should. They’re scared and confused, just like you. I think my answer for 3.) gives a good, easy starting point for alter communication c:

I hope these answers helped, at least a little. Good luck and stay safe xx

-the stars system (written by multiple alters all at different times)

~sorry if there’s any typos~

[licenselesswriter]

Hey! I know you probably already answered everything in your head, but let's go... (this is not my revenge yet) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 18, 20, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 40, 43, 45, 46, 47, 49, 50, 51, 52, 54, 55, 57, 60, 61, 63, 66, 68, 69, 71, 72, 73, 74, 76, 77, 79, 82, 84, 85, 88, 89, 90, 91, 91, 93, 94, 95, 97, 100.

Well, you are Vengeance, you are the Night, you’re Batman LOL.

1. What is your middle name? As I said in a question before, my middle name is Hernán, which is a germanic name, a variation of Fernando, which means brave.

2. How old are you? Oh boy, I'm an old geezer who writes fanfics after and before his job, 32.

3. When is your birthday? August 22

4. What is your zodiac sign? I am a proud representative of the House of Leo.

5. What is your favorite color? Grey, I love grey, like fucking love that motherfucking neutral color LOL.

6. What’s your lucky number? 14 baby.

7. Do you have any pets? I do, a cat called Coshino.

8. Where are you from? I'm from the first country of South America, if you start from the south, Chile.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? shoes? technically, 1, the rest are all sneakers, which are, 2 running sneakers, 2 training sneakers, 3 party sneakers, and 6 basketball sneakers.

12. What was your last dream about? Uh, hard, I dreamed that my father was alive, not in a sweet and Mufasa way, but more in a "for some reason, I got a philosopher stone and revive my father using alchemy, without losing an arm or a leg" kinda way, it was cool.

13. What talents do you have? I love to say that my writing, but I kinda trained that skill, so I'm gonna go with like, blessings from God LOL. Cooking Baking Basketball Physics and last but not least, Math.

14. Are you psychic in any way? nope.

15. Favorite song? You did a top 5, so, now it's my turn. 5 - Backstreet Boys - I want it that way 4 - Anthony Ramos, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Jon Rua, Leslie Odom, Jr. & Original Broadway Cast of “Hamilton” - Ten Duel Commandments 3 - Panic at the Disco! - I write sins not tragedies 2 - Sabrina Carpenter - Alien 1 - Foo Fighters - Walk

16. Favorite movie? This one is easier, Coach Carter, I love that movie.

18. Do you want children? Hell yes, baby.

20. Are you religious? I am.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Yes, drinking in a public park, at 2 A.M. with a few friends.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 2 actually, I mean, Chilean Celebs, both during the year my Dad put me on Tennis classes, we receive a master class on doubles from Nicolas Massu and Fernando Gonzales, who won Gold on Athenas 2004 on doubles.

28. What type of music do you like? Just like Lou Bega on Mambo N°5, I'm like, a little bit of everything in my life, because music is love.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yes, and it's actually really comfortable.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? Over my belly.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 500 ml of a Raspberry, Celery, Banana, and Yogurt smoothie, bread with cheese, 500 ml of water, because you need to stay hydrated.

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, and it was awesome. Did I try to pull a "wanted" curve bullet? yes. Did I fail? yes to that too.

35. Have you ever tried archery? The main reason I was in the range, anime made me very interested in archery, which ends up in me practicing for a few years.

36. Favorite clean word? Food.

37. Favorite swear word? Motherfucker.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 3 days.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? No idea, if I had, then that person was really good on the secret part, because never had a clue, on the other side, I have the awareness of a rock when it comes to that kind of things.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I try, I fail to do, but I try LOL.

45. What is your favorite accent? Russian, for some reason, that feels like the coolest accent ever.

46. What is your personality type? ISTJ BABY!!! AGUANTE LA LOGICA HERMANO

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Tailored dark grey suit, with a tailored white shirt, a black tie, and a pair of cufflinks with the letter B on them.

49. Are you an innie or an outie? I guess this is for staying in or outside the house, right? Then I'm an Innie, I love to stay at home, watch movies and tv shows, like, that's the life.

50. Left or right-handed? both, ambidextrous

51. Are you scared of spiders? Yes, but I vowed my life to exterminate every one of those scary 8 legged bastards that ever cross my way, also, the main reason I would never put a foot in Australia.

52. Favorite food? To cook? Christmas Turkey To eat? Fried Chicken.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I'm messy, but I do my best, does that count?

55. Most used phrased? Life's not fair, it's just life.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 7 minutes.

60. Do you talk to yourself? I do, that's also, one of my writing methods LOL

61. Do you sing to yourself? All-day.

63. Biggest Fear? Syringes.

66. Do you like long or short hair? I mean, both are cool, but since Tangled, I kinda enjoy long hair, like, it's really fun to braid it? my niece always asked, and I always refused, but after that movie, man, it's really relaxing and fun.

68. Favorite school subject? Math and Physics.

69. Extrovert or Introvert? IRL, introvert, Online, extrovert, makes sense?

71. What makes you nervous? Syringes

72. Are you scared of the dark? Nope, the best and funniest stories are made in the dark.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I do.

74. Are you ticklish? Yes.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yes, I have.

77. Have you ever drank underage? Yes.

79. Who was your first real crush? I guess not a TV Show character, I even remember her name LOL her name was Cheryl, and her last name, I will leave that in mystery.

82. How fast can you type? If I know what I have to write, really fast.

84. What color is your hair? Brown

85. What color are your eyes? Brown

88. What do your parents do? Both my parents are teachers. My mom is an English Teacher, and my Father was a Math Teacher.

89. Do you like your age? Of course, I do, I loved every year I've been alive.

90. What makes you angry? People who always arrive late, like, for fuck's sake, it's no hard get in time to a place.

91. Do you like your own name? I do.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Both.

94. What are your strengths? Like Hal Jordan himself, my will, and like Lucas Friar, I'm also strong as a horse.

95. What are your weaknesses? Fear of failure.

97. Were your ancestor's royalty? Not royalty exactly, but my great grandfather was a count in France.

100. Color of your room? Grey baby

[yikes-xander]

000:00:00:00

PLAYLIST ANALYSIS

This is actually me just rambling about my thoughts on each song and why I chose them for this specific playlist rather than like.. an actually good and smart sounding in-depth analysis sorry :/

When I Met You - Ethan Nestor

There are many reasons I chose this one! Mostly the lyrics, but Ethan also sings it so it’s extra fitting for the playlist, especially as the opener.

“When I met you my life was blue, I was so lonely / You took me by surprise” The channel came into my life at the perfect time. I was feeling low, in my last year of high school, struggling with thoughts about the future. It especially helped me through quarantine. Every day I felt like quitting, giving up on putting effort into school/not graduating, but I had something to look forward to every day too, so I pushed through.

“Now you're gone from my life / I'm adrift on the sea” Once the stream ended and the channel was gone, I didn’t know how I felt. I felt sad, but also something I’ve never felt before. After watching Ethan’s video yesterday, hearing him explain he felt the same way, I felt so relieved. I think this lyric kind of describes how I feel now honestly, just kinda numb? Like I’m lost. I’m working on it.

Another Night - Story Untold

More of a light-hearted one now! To me, this song made me think about how good it felt to be a part of the audience.

“Here we go for another night / Another night goofing all around” Everyone (the audience, Mark, Ethan, etc.) having fun every single day? *chefs kiss*

“Laughing 'til our stomachs hurt / And I can't let this moment pass me by” Once again, made me think of all the good times that were a part of the channel, and all the good feelings they gave me.

“So here’s to a night we’ll remember / This is a time we never wanna forget” I think this is kind of self-explanatory? I don’t think any of us want to forget Unus Annus. Personally, it’s literally the best thing I’ve ever had the chance to see happen and be a part of.

100 Bad Days - AJR

This song just gives me good vibes, UA gave me good vibes, it had to be on the playlist. I don’t have much else to say about it.

History - One Direction

This song kind of reminds me of Ethan and Mark separately and UA as a whole. Because like,, they make a great team, they have a lot of history (friends for a long time, Ethan was a fan of Mark before that, etc.)

“You and me got a whole lot of history / So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever” A year is a long time but also feels like no time at all. Sometimes I wish we had more time for UA, but I’m glad I was here for what we got.

“This is not the end” Unus Annus is something I’ll never forget.

Dopamine - With Confidence

Maybe also kind of self-explanatory? Dopamine makes you feel good!! UA also makes me feel good. And the song talks about losing it too so.. yeah

This Is Home - Cavetown

I’m not exactly sure why I felt so drawn to this? But the vibes are immaculate.

“Are you dead? / Sometimes I think I'm dead / 'Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head / But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet” after the stream vibes anyone? Or is it just me? I stayed up way too long after it was over. Too many thoughts head full

“Time is / Slowly / Tracing his face / But strangely he feels at home in this place” Unus and Annus,, the Boys of Time babey!!

Ghost Of You - 5 Seconds of Summer

Again.. The VIBES are IMMACULATE. It’s just a sad song for a sad time.

“Too young, too dumb / To know things like love” I’m just a stupid boy who got emotionally attached to a channel whose whole purpose was to DIE and I’m sensitive about it.

All I Wanted - Paramore

Lyrics make me do a Think

“Wake up early to black and white re-runs” colors of the channel,, thinking about all the vids,, the memories :(

“I could follow you to the beginning / And just to relive the start / And maybe then we'll remember to slow down / At all of our favorite parts” this entire verse?? Oh my god. Absolutely *chefs kiss* I think we all know what I mean and like,, why it gives me UA vibes

The Kids from Yesterday - My Chemical Romance

This song just gives me like sad nostalgic vibes so I thought it fit well.

“... you only hear the music when your heart begins to break” the timer reaches the end and the ticking stops? Heartbreaking, that’s all

I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie

Another song thats just,, sad so it fits

“Love of mine, someday you will die” we knew from the start the the channel would literally die when the clock stopped,,

“It's nothing to cry about 'cause we'll hold each other soon / In the blackest of rooms” shut up I’m mourning someone hold my hand

“I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black” death goddess Amy vibes

I’ll Always Be Around - Waterparks

“If you died I'd hope you'd haunt me / Because you know I'd miss you bad” we all love UA so much!! And miss it a ton already

“I'd never I'd never I'd never get you off my mind” it’s always thinking about Unus Annus hours

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

There are multiple lyrics in this song that just make me remember we only have our memories of the channel left

“Our every moment, I start to replace / 'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say” the vids are replaced with only memories, replayed over and over

“Well, time can heal but this won't” I’ll be sad about this forever mind ur business

“But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face” the very last moment of the stream? Amy and Mark looking at the camera, Mark’s lil smile, Ethan looking back at the clock as the last few seconds tick by? AAAAH

Scarlet Cross - Black Veil Brides

Heard this and immediately reverted back to my middle school self but that’s beside the point.

“... you can't deny / The end is coming, the end is coming” we knew from the start that the channel would die

“Will we live? / Will we die? / Just keep on saving our goodbyes” There were points where people were theorizing that the channel wouldn’t actually end, there were clips near the end where the clock reversed by a few seconds, etc. need I say more?

“Hold onto me, and I can't let go” we’re all mourning, we didn’t want to say goodbye I know I’m not the only sad one

Body - Mother Mother

This song just SCREAMS Unus and Annus vibes I think we can all agree

“I've grown tired of this body / Fall apart without me, body” Unus and Annus are just entities using Ethan and Mark’s bodies,, they know their time is up so they have to leave,, the LORE it makes sense okay leave me alone

Here Comes the End - Gerard Way (ft Judith Hill)

At this point I’m just listing lyrics that I vibe with that remind me of UA and also make me sad but that’s because I’m dumb and I don’t know how to express myself or explain my thoughts oops

“The time is running out / The days are moving fast” literally every day after each video,, seeing the clock tick down? My HEART she hurt

“The clock is moving / Hands to midnight / Can we get through this?” For me, the stream ended right at midnight so THE VIBES I was sobbing

When Can I See You Again? - Owl City

“Switch on the sky and the stars glow for you / Go see the world 'cause it’s all so brand new” this lyric remind me of the vid where they were in the desert and they just looked at the stars and had a nice talk it was so wholesome I love them

“It's been fun but now I've got to go / Life is way too short to take it slow” Unus Annus is gone but we all have to remember to live, do what you want with no regrets.

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult

This one is another pretty self explanatory one honestly

It’s also just a vibe like a lot of the other songs that’s all I have to say about it

Safe and Sound - Capital Cities

This song just radiates such good feelings man oof

Unus Annus felt like such a safe lil bubble for me?? Like,, Mark and Ethan did dumb shit because they WANTED TO I felt so validated like,, I also would do dumb shit if I could that probably makes no sense but I love them so it doesn’t matter

Happiest Year - Jaymes Young

This one absolutely BREAKS MY HEART

“I'm here to admit / That you were my medicine” yall,, UA was the only thing that kept me going and I'm not afraid to admit it

“Thank you for the happiest year of my life” literally the only thing that gave me serotonin oops :/

“So wake me up when they build that time machine / I want to go back” do I need to explain? Even though this year has been shitty irl, I would relive it in a heartbeat

The 3ND - Story Untold

I know this is a breakup song,, but hear me out

Some of the lyrics FIT and it’s my playlist I can do what I want shut up

“I never wanted what we had to end / But now it's over” once again,, no need to explain

“I know we had our dreams and we had plans… / That now it's time to let go” this just makes me think of the video where they talk about the video ideas they had but never filmed or just didn't post,, the CONTENT WE COULD'VE GOTTEN i'm sad

Still Remembering - AS IT IS

These boys.. My fave band of all time but also literally all their songs have immaculate vibes

“My heart's as heavy / As these nights are long” this gives me after the stream feels,, I stayed up way too long after it ended I couldn't sleep because I was sad :/

“Can you tell me what hurts more / Is it remembering or forgetting?” The whole chorus just hits me so hard man I'm so scared that I'm gonna forget unus annus because my brain is shitty even though I know I won't? I’m deadass getting a tattoo as soon as I can

Take Me Away - With Confidence

This song just makes me think about how UA was kind of an escape for me? And a lot of people yknow sometimes you just need to get your mind off of this happening around you and UA was really good for that in my opinion

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

Once again saying I would relive this year if I had the chance

Unus Annus was one of a kind, no one will ever be able to recreate it

Where’d All the Time Go? - Dr. Dog

A year sounds like such a long time but it goes by way too fast

Also I think Amy had this on her instagram story after the stream? I don't remember but THE VIBES

This December - Ricky Montgomery

Why do so many ricky montgomery songs have UA vibes? Idk

“Well, this December, I'll remember / Want you to see it when I do” UA ended in november,, we’ll remember in december and forever it FITS

“It’s just a little bit, It’s just a little bit / Lonely in this home / It’s always colder on your own'' honestly now that UA is gone there's like,, a void and I'm sad (I keep saying that but it's true so..)

When You Die - MGMT

Maybe this is the song Amy had in her story after the stream? Again,, I don’t remember

I think this one is also pretty self explanatory

Except I was feeling A LOT when the channel died but I’m glad the team was also kinda in their feels a bit yknow? It made me feel better about it

Good Times - All Time Low

“Underneath the stars we came alive / And singing to the sky just felt right / I won't forget the good times” once again,, that stargazing vid? IM CRYING all the vids gave me so much serotonin I loved them all and each day was such a good day

“I'll hate the goodbye” I don't need to explain..

“Middle fingers up, ego trip / Devil may care but we didn't mind” the chaotic vibes of the channel is what sucked me in I live for chaos that's what this lyric makes me think of

Goodnight, Travel Well - The Killers

I don't think I really need to explain this one because,, just listen to the song and you'll get it but I'll just list some fave lyrics of mine

“There's nothing I can say / There's nothing we can do now” end of the stream vibes for sure

“And all that stands between the souls release / This temporary flesh and bone / We know that it's over now” Unus and Annus vibes

Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery

This is one of the songs that I hear a lot in like edits I see on twitter and stuff associated with UA and I Get It the vibes are so good the song is so good I love it

“Oh, baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you / I need you here to stay” one of my fave lyrics and also just,, makes sense I miss UA

As the World Caves In - Matt Maltese

Another song that's in a lot of edits and stuff that's also,, amazing and MAKES SENSE the vibes!!

“And here it is, our final night alive” the STREAM

“You put your finest suit on / I paint my fingernails / Oh we're going out in style babe” Our boys,, Unus and Annus in the suits and eths painted nails? An absolute LOOK

I just love this song so much its so good and makes me so sad

The End. - My Chemical Romance

This song is just So Sad

And the heart monitor beeping in the beginning?? Reminds me of the clock ticking my heart is BROKEN

If you actually read all of this? I love you!! This was 6 pages so thank you for sticking through and listening to all of my dumb thoughts

[defiledpriest]

1 through 40 right now or the stuffie gets it !

😳😳 this may take a while then lmao also how dare you threaten me ರ╭╮ರ

q's and answers under the cut!

.

cherry - what is your sexuality? on my bio

lollipop - favorite makeup products? I don't really use makeup, but I suppose nail polish is a makeup product, right? I also like collecting lip balms

daydreams - if you could be anything or anyone, who would you be? a bird came to mind lmao 😆 I just wanna know how it feels to fly

october - what month were you born in? November!

caress - do you like to snuggle? Yes! I usually snuggle with my nephew tho

ivory - describe your pajamas? Uh I just wear sweatpants and a t-shirt. Sometimes a tank top depending on the room's temp

golden - favorite stationary product? Washi tape!! I'm getting into bullet journaling and I love looking at the ones on tik tok and pinterest

freckles - most-worn article of clothing? my slippers 😂 I don't go anywhere after work..

twilight - best friend? prob my older sis lol besides her this girl named Ana,, I met her in 6th grade and we've been friends since then😊

silk - do you like k-pop? Yep! Been a fan since middle school

poppy - favorite pastel color? Yellow

dimples - most attractive features of a person’s face? Eyes. Especially when they're colored (i have dark ass brown eyes so i like seeing other colors) smile is a close second

sunkissed - autumn or spring? Autumn!

buttery - favorite snack? I don't really have a favorite snack lmao I eat a lot of shit and never stick to one thing. I love to snack on chocolate tho (just no dark chocolate lol)

whisper - how much sleep do you get? lmao not enough imo

pencil - do you own a journal? multiple. I'm a journal hoarder

cupcake - are you a good cook? I'd say I'm decent

honey - favorite term of endearment? darling 💖 (sweetheart is a close second)

clouds - describe one of your favorite dreams? It involved me and my favorite kpop dude lol I think I pushed him into a chair and climbed into his lap,, then he picked me up and pushed me against the wall and grinded into me

velvet - who was your first crush? celeb or irl? I know celeb was zac efron lol or joe jonas. Irl I know it was this boy in elementary school but I don't remember who it was oof

paper - favorite children’s book? Used to love reading the Junie B. Jones books

peaches - do you have a skincare routine? No but I need to take better care of it since I work with a mask and I sweat

mochi - favorite studio ghibli film? Never really watched them oOF,, recommend me some y'all

backyard - did you ever have an imaginary friend? I prob did at some point lol

strawberry - favorite fruit? Green apples

kiss - have you ever kissed a friend? Nope

nightlight - do you read before bed? No.. I used to be a huge bookworm, but now I hardly read 😔

shampoo - favorite scent? gardenia is my fave scent,, but I'm also into masculine type scents too,, woodsy/musky

skin - what distant relative are you closest to? my family don't really talk to them sooo

aphrodite - favorite actress/actor? Lately it's been Tom Holland, Chris Evans and Henry Cavill (my fave white boys lmaoooo,, sorry I couldn't choose) As for actress I'd say Ana de Armas (she's so fucking beautiful ❤️ like pls step on me miss)

cuddles - do you have any pets? Nope. Can't even take care of myself lmao

lace - if you own any dresses, which is your favorite? I actually posted it on here before, uh this light blue dress with a slightly plunging neckline. Makes me feel soft

sheets - sanrio or san-x characters? both. I'm not a monster

cream - frozen yogurt flavor? I don't really like yogurt frozen yogurt tho is bomb

watermelon - do films ever make you cry? Well, I don't cry I just tear up. Depends on the scene too

sapphos - favorite poet? emo boy edgar allan poe. I have a book of his poems and stories!

plush - how many stuffed animals do you still own? still? does this mean since I was kid or now? hmm. well I currently own 7

roses - what flower do you find most beautiful? sunflowers! 🌻

sweetheart - favorite mug/cup? this cauldron cup with a ceramic spider inside. bought it around halloween week

sunset - what are your pronouns? on my bio

[talvenhenki]

I was tagged by @toboestar eons ago, finally doing this thingy :P

THE LAST…

1. Drink: water, just now

2. Phone call: a group call w my friends E and R

3. Text message: to @matthewgreywolf about spiky baby lizards

4. song you listened to: Ilaria Graziano’s I do

5. Time you cried: No idea tbh

6. Time you’ve dated someone: Never :^)

7. Time you’ve kissed someone and regretted it: 8-10 years ago; can’t remember the exact date anymore

8. time you’ve been cheated on: nope

9. Time you lost someone special: lost my grandfather when I was 18 & great-grandmother when I was 14

10. time you’ve been depressed: this week

11. time you’ve gotten drunk and thrown up: I am allergic so I do not drink

FAVORITE COLORS

12. Moss green

13. Prussian blue

14. lavender

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: yeah!

16. fallen out of love: nah

17. laughed until you cried: not cried-cried but got tears in me eyes

18. found out someone was talking about you: hmm hopefully not

19. Met someone who changed you: I’ve barely met anyone irl

20. found out who your friends are: nah

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

GENERAL

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all

23. do you have any pets: not yet, my flatmate does

24. do you wanna change your name: Already did :^)

25. what did you do for your last birthday? Went to an amusement park w my aunt & her fiancé

26. what time did you wake up: around 10

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: getting to bed

28. Name something you can’t wait for: the end of the frickin’ pandemic!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: last saturday

30. what are you listening to right now: Ilaria Graziano’s I do, as linked above

31. Have you ever talked to a person named tom: yup, there was one in my philosophy class

32. something that is getting on your nerves: the headache I’m sporting

33. most visited website: tumblr or ao3

34. hair color: Brown

35. do you have a crush on someone: atm no

36. Long or short hair: shoulder-length that I’m growing out

37. what do you like about yourself: I am v Zen™

38. Piercings: 2 on left ear, 4 on right

39: blood type: no idea man

40: nickname: Orion or Mars :^)

41. relationship status: solo

42. zodiac: Leo

43. pronouns: they/them

44. favorite tv show: Star Trek!!

45. tattoos: not yet

46. Right or left handed: right

47. surgery: nope

48. Sport: I like swimming & I’ll go back to fencing once the pandemic has calmed down/I get the vaccine

49: Holiday: I like May Day

50. pair of trainers: nah

51. eating: I want some okonomiyaki

52. drinking: mead :^)

53: im about to: boil some pasta once I’m done w this

54: waiting for: a sign

55: want: a hug

56: Get married: maybe, but only if the other person understands what a handful I am

57: career: your local Headache™

58: hugs or kisses: hugs!

59: lips or eyes: eeeeeeyes?

60: shorter or taller: don’t care, really, both have perks

61: older or younger: abt the same age?

62. Nice arms or nice stomach: as long as they’re comfy w their body, I don’t really care much

63. Hook up or relationship: relationship

64: troublemaker or hesitant: I v much am hesitant

65: kissed a stranger: nope

66: drank hard liquor: nope

67: lost glasses or contacts: my glasses have a life of their own

68: turned someone down: yea

69: sex on the first date: ew no

70: broken someone’s heart: hopefully not

71: had your heart broken: not that I remember

72: been arrested: nope

73: cried when someone died: brain has not yet fully computed those I think

74: fallen for a friend: mmmmmmaybe

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

75: Yourself: depends on the context, really

76: miracles: At this economy? We’d really need one

77: love at first sight: no, more like recognition at first sight

78: kiss on the first date: depends on the chemistry I think

79: angels: my French teaching assistant at the Uni was a literal angel tbh

OTHER

80: current best friend’s name: IDK??? I’m always so unsure who I get to call my best friend?? I have so many amazing ones

81: eye color: it’s a mystery!

82: favorite movie: Cloud Atlas

83: Favorite music genre: classical & whatever is going on w Cécile Corbel

84: favorite item of clothing: sweaters

85: favorite friends character: I gave up w that series years ago

I’m a criminal & I’ll only tag @erdariel to suffer like I did to give us insights and witty remarks :D

[unravelling-the-world]

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie.  back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time.  i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.