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proper-goodnight · 2 years

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On the Run

Fandom: The Gray Man (2022)

Pairings: N/A

Type: Gen, One-Shot (Two Part-er?)

-> Anon request (Requests are currently open. Other fandoms listed on my profile!)

Words: ~4.5K

Tags: @biblichorr, @ethanhawkestan, @medievalfangirl, @pyrokineticbaby

A/N: Apologies in advance if anyone else wanted tagged. I am still getting used to the tag list thing, and I'm not exactly sure if the people who enjoyed and wanted tagged for the Six x Reader fics also wanted tagged for the Six gen fics and vice versa. Thanks! (: If anyone knows how a tag list works, and how to note specific usernames for specific things, it would be very helpful!

~~~

Every day spent with Claire only made it abundantly more clear that Six didn’t know much about kids. Some days she was happy–ecstatic, and understanding of the things that he couldn’t control–other days, the revelation that anything inside the realm of normal was null and void where he was involved only made her more prone to being angry and spiteful. Most days he could keep up, and most days he was brought back to those first days when she was scolding him for chewing gum in Donald’s house or acting like he was an enigma because his name was filed down to just a digit.

Six wasn’t Donald Fitzroy. He never would be. He didn’t want to be.

There were things between him and Claire that he had no hope of understanding, let alone trying to recreate on his own. They didn’t have inside jokes, and he hadn’t known her parents–those were things that he couldn’t talk about like Donald. That kind of connection had never been meant for someone like him, the idea long gone when he’d been served life without parole.

But she’d said that they were like family, and to him that had meant something. An unshakable loyalty and a responsibility already embedded deep within him when he’d promised Donald that he’d keep her alive.

Other than that, doing what he knew, he was figuring the rest out one agonizingly slow step at a time.

And those agonizingly slow steps only felt slower in the humid air of a small, inconspicuous country in Asia. They had something off-brand to a McDonalds from the states, serving many of the same things with different variations of names. It didn’t make a difference to him, either way. Various jobs had taught him to eat whatever was available, and a greasy burger was the same as a steak dinner considering how much he was starving.

It didn’t embarrass him to engorge himself in front of anyone–food was a means of energy, and it hardly concerned him what he ate to get it. Regardless, he could see Claire watching him out of the corner of her eye, a vaguely nauseous look while she pushed her ice-cream around with a spoon. Sweat beaded her forehead, trailing in thin rivulets and staining a tank-top that he’d bought for her at a small corner shop for a quarter.

Her eyebrows were raised, mouth slightly parted where she’d hunched over the table, her temple laid to rest against an enclosed fist. The ice-cream had melted, and she couldn’t have looked more miserable than how she probably felt.

“It’s the best medicine,” he offered in between a mouthful of food, a lame grimace of a smile tugging at his lips while he gestured to her cup. “Ice-Cream.”

“Yeah,” Claire trailed off, looking down into the soupy mixture with apprehension. “I don’t really think it’s ice-cream anymore.” As if to further iterate her point, she lifted some of it into her spoon, then let it pour unceremoniously back into her cup. She raised her eyebrows at him, only to shake her head when he offered her a drink, her eyes darting back down.

Six finished it off, the sound of him slurping through his straw sounding much louder in the sudden quiet that settled between them. He set it back down with a soft tap, the Styrofoam cup scraping as he slid it across the table, then pushed it back a little further. What little bit remained of his lunch was forgotten, the sudden intrusion on his appetite overshadowed by useless attempts to say anything useful.

He tried to think of something Donald would say, but nothing sounded right coming from him.

Thankfully, Claire was the one to break the silence first.

“What are we going to do about money?” She looked at him in a way that ate right through him. He’d been shot, stabbed, tortured, nearly drowned, and yet one single look into Claire’s eyes–a kind of hopelessness that his concerns also had to be hers hurt so much worse. Parts of him thought that he was beyond all that; worrying. He’d built himself over the years to be unusually stoic, sarcastic at the most inopportune times, ready to die if that was something he had to do, but he couldn’t stop his expression from falling at the question, only because she wasn’t wrong.

He’d been forced to take the fall for all of Carmichael’s shit. He was a renowned fugitive, regular work and odd jobs far outside of his list of specialties. They didn’t pay enough. If it was just him, he could live off of a minimum wage, but with Claire, who was used to having so much. It was impossible. Dingy motels and take-out was already too beneath what she was used to.

Six didn’t have an actual plan. He’d made up one as he went, taunting the enemy forces in Iraq during a helicopter crash that killed several American soldiers. Traversing foreign territory with an entire army at his back, that had been easy. This? He didn’t know why this was so much harder.

“We’ll figure it out,” he assured her, only because the phrase you shouldn’t have to worry about that didn’t sound right in the moment.

“Are–are you going to put me in a home?” She asked suddenly.

“No.” He dipped his chin to meet her eyes, scrutinizing her worried expression with an incredulity so very unlike him. “No, Claire. Why do you think that?”

Claire appeared hesitant to answer, the melted puddle of her ice-cream suddenly more interesting than looking at his face. Her brows creased, her skin taking on a harsher shade of red than what he suspected was from just the humidity. Parts of her voice cracked on every other syllable, as if it was a possibility that she strongly considered before even he’d considered it. “You–you said that we were going to a hos–a hospital. To change my Pacemaker? You said that it could be tracked from anywhere.”

“It can. That’s how I found you.”

She looked up, brows drawn into a harsh scowl, a profound anger betrayed by tears brimming in her eyes. “Are you going to leave? Are you changing it out so that you can’t find me, too?”

“What?”

The tremor in her limbs had him angling his body toward her, the instinct to be there in case her Pacemaker were to act up again. He always had a hospital in mind, and an abundance of excuses if any of the doctors were to ask. Fake identities, fake IDs, passports… They moved, and they moved often. She needed direct contact with medical attention, and someone more well-adept at handling things like this. It had been selfish of him to keep her this long, but it was also selfish of him to think that he could have handled something like this in the first place.

“Claire–” He started.

Before he could get a word in, she was already moving from her chair, a harsh scrape against the tile grating against his ears as she shoved herself into his arms. On instinct, he pulled her to him, tilting his chin up to accommodate where she tucked her head. It was a gesture too familiar to fumble, and too brief to question.

Six remembered when she’d treated Donald like that, his own resilience the only thing that had protected him from her desperate kicking and screaming as he’d forced her away. He thought of something similar, doctors who would not have the resilience that he had, the begging and pleading like lead in his ears compared to people who had done the same in the past–for their lives–not his life, or a life with him. The image caused him to squeeze his eyes shut, ignoring the sudden twisting in his gut that felt like a knife.

It wasn’t fair, but most things in his life weren’t.

“I’m not going to leave you, Kid.” He assured her quietly, but the sudden tension in her muscles suggested that she didn’t believe him.

~~~~~

Six traversed several dozen stories with stone-faced seriousness, deadpan against the people who looked at him and Claire as an opportunity. Some heeded the obvious warning, others acting with false bravery before he’d tightened his hand around the gun hidden in his coat and let it slip from its confinement until they made the rational decision to back off on their own. His other arm was wrapped around Claire’s shoulders–catching her wide-eyed stare as she met strangers’ eyes in equal intensity. He burrowed her closer to his jacket, speaking low.

“Keep your head down.”

The Chongqing building in Hong Kong was renowned for operating outside the law, but even if that was the case, they had no obligation to help him. He was broke, and he didn’t want to sign himself over until he was sure that Claire was somewhere safe. After they’d mocked him for looking like the grungy version of a Ken doll, all it took was a mention of his moniker for them to sober up and offer their services in exchange for a decrease of fees from what they would offer their usual clientele.

He still couldn’t afford it, but it was more in the realm of believability.

The Gray Man had a reputation, even operating in the dark. His work across several continents had created ghost stories by word of mouth, and that reputation alone scarcely made anyone question his credibility. They’d asked him to carry out a few contracts with some debtors that they didn’t have the means to deal with, and he’d agreed under the condition that Claire get their best doctor. Hands had been shaken, and his agreement had been signed in blood.

This was more normal. This, he knew how to do.

“Are you sure about this?” Claire had asked, perched on the edge of one of the examination tables while they waited for a man who had referred to him as a ‘Guizi’ before leaving to prepare the operating room. She fumbled with the hem of a hospital gown, twisting wrinkles in the fabric from her nervous fidgeting.

Six knew there was no use in lying. She always saw right through him, and he had never tried lying to her in the first place. “No.” He didn’t sugarcoat the fact, the notion that he wasn’t allowed to stay for the operation already tipping a scale in something less favorable for him. “But you know we don’t have a choice.” He would go ahead and fulfill their contracts, then find a place for Claire to rest and recuperate. Close by, preferably, just in case there would be some kind of mishap. The doctor–who had expectedly been an asshole–had just as much of a credibility as a doctor as he did a killer.

That had to count for something, and he was running out of options.

Desperation wasn’t a good look for him.

“I know, it’s just…” Claire looked down, her eyes following her toes where she kicked her legs back and forth. Her anxiety was obvious, the way her breath hitched and she peered around as if there was a threat in every ill-illuminated corner, ready to leap out of the dark. She’d looked less scared when there was an actual threat in her house, but she’d also be alone for this one. “I trust you, but I don’t like this place.”

“Me either.” Six ducked his head, exhaling through his nose. He stepped on the foothold at the base of the examination table. Familiar with the gesture, Claire moved over to oblige his silent request as he lowered himself down beside her, her head coming to rest against his shoulder. It wobbled from the added weight.

His hand moved over hers where it gripped at the gown, and she reluctantly allowed him to peel her clenched fingers apart.

Claire looked more tired than usual, more small than how he was used to seeing her. Her playful attitude at Donald’s had been near damn non-existent in the last few months, moving from place to place leaving her jet-lagged and more prone to irritability. It didn’t stop his usual sarcasm, that dry wit that had annoyed her in the beginning, only for her to end up admitting that it was kind of funny. “I think everyone around here kind of looks like a criminal.”

Her head tilted back to look up at him. “More than you?” She gave a soft mock of a gasp. “No way.”

Six feigned a look of confusion, brows pinching. “Do I look like a criminal?”

“You do have the tattoos.” She chuckled. It was the first time he’d heard it in months.

“I told you it was a guy's name in Greek.”

She nodded, looking back down where his hand laid over hers. Even with both her hands, his fingers still managed to envelop them, giving them a reassuring squeeze. A wan smile pulled at her lips. “You never told me if he made it up the hill.”

“I’ll tell you what,” Six mulled it over thoughtfully, the next breath he exhaled more forceful this time, dragging along with his words. “Let’s get through this first, then I’ll let you know, okay?”

Claire pressed her lips together, minimizing the frown that’d slowly begun to spread across her face as her expression fell. “You promise you’re not leaving me?”

He held out his pinkie.

She rolled her eyes, curling it around her own. Her thumb pressed against his in a final declaration: A stamp, she’d explained that it somehow made it more official. There was something too endearing about it for him to question.

“Just another Thursday.” He answered.

“You say that every time something bad happens. I’m starting to see a pattern.”

“If I can get through this without getting in a fight, I think that this will be more successful than most Thursdays.”

“Ha-Ha,” she said sarcastically.

He quirked a smile despite himself, and her expression was quick to follow. The door swung open as the doctor walked inside, mask and gloves at the ready. Claire inhaled next to him, her arms wrapping around his bicep. He slid off the exam table, practically lifting her along with him

“You can’t be in the surgery room,” the doctor told him, voice flat and uncaring. It only further exceeded to twist a knife deeper into his gut.

“I’m going to escort her,” Six said. The nature of his tone was enough for the doctor to begrudgingly oblige his request, waving them out into the dark corridor and through the maze of hallways that he’d gotten lost in on the way up. Claire’s nails dug into his sleeve, and he offered what little comfort he could by placing a hand over her arm. “And this Pacemaker is untraceable?” He pressed the doctor.

“It does not have a registered serial number.” The doctor answered. “It cannot be traced on any national database.”

It offered very little comfort to Six, but they’d run into too much trouble with her current one. It was a big risk for a bout of selfishness, for giving in to Claire’s demands to stay. He did look at homes cross-country, and depending how the next few weeks went, he may have to make some kind of choice.

He strongly suspected that whether it went well or not, he may have to say goodbye anyway.

If she were to have any kind of life.

“I’ll be right here.” They came to a stop outside of the operating room.

“Six.”

“I’ll bring you some ice-cream. It’s the best medicine.”

She leapt onto her tiptoes and hugged him tight, with him leaning to accommodate her height. His arms wrapped around her back, never squeezing, but giving a firm enough gesture so that she understood that he meant it. Once they pulled apart, she was ushered into the operating room, sparing a glance over her shoulder.

Her index finger and pinkie raised, her other fingers curling in.

He copied the gesture as she disappeared through the door.

Six’s expression slipped as soon as she was gone, then despite his promise to Claire, he turned and walked down the seedy corridor. Fluorescent lights flickered incessantly, forcing him to squint underneath their harsh blinking and fight the urge to turn back around and deposit himself outside of Claire’s room. He convinced himself that she would be fine for the time being, especially after she was put under anesthesia. Hopefully, she would never notice that he was gone.

Various stalls lined the narrow bend of the hall, but he didn’t have the time to so much as spare any of the products a glance. His jacket swayed with his shoulders, a strong confidence taking to an equally strong frame. He wasn’t taller than most of the men in the building by any means, but he could say with a cocky confidence that none of them would be that difficult to take. He’d been ready to at any opportunity with Claire, but for the moment, for her sake, he’d avoid it if he could.

He turned his torso to avoid products being waved at him, at his face, darting around seedy characters that made grabs for his wallet.

He had an obligation.

They were paying him for this, and he had to get Claire somewhere safe after.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a shadow split across the wall and dart around a corner. There was a fraction of a second, then it was gone, one glance over his shoulder confirming that it wasn’t one of the stall owners attempting to pressure him for a purchase.

Someone was following him.

Shit.

With a renewed urgency, Six traversed the remaining figures in the hallway, around a disgruntled patron to take his spot in the elevator, pressing his finger into the man’s chest and none-too graciously pushing him back–the man had shouted something at him in Mandarin, something that he only bothered to classify as some kind of insult–but he pressed the button that would take him down without bothering to grace the man with his usual wit. He jammed his thumb to prematurely close the doors, but someone else managed to slip through the narrow crack in the doors. The man pressed a button, then they were being taken down.

77…

76…

75…

Six had stepped to the far left side, his hands folded together in front of him, eyes fixed on a specific spot in an ugly swirling pattern on the rug. He mulled over his options. Unlike most places he’d found trouble in, this place was full of criminals. Unless he was some kind of big whig that had the staff of the entire building under his thumb, Claire was safe if this asshole wound up missing.

His eyes rolled back up to the ceiling, the light dim and flickering in there, too.

“And you are?” Six asked, glancing over to a darkened figure who towered over him. Graciously ignored, his only response was a twitch of the man’s muscles suggesting that his day was about to get a hell of a lot harder.

74…

73…

Deft fingers grabbed for the gun in his jacket at the same time his attacker jammed the emergency stop button. The two traded shots, a loud ringing that split through the air in perfect unison, just passing their left shoulders in perfect symmetry. A harsh shudder shook the elevator while it came to an abrupt stop, causing Six’s knee to crumple, stumbling through the small space.

He’d had his hand on his gun, his index finger grappling for the trigger again as the brunt of the man’s palm knocked the side of the gun’s barrel and sent it careening into a corner. It went off somewhere in the dark, shooting a light out in the ceiling, the other twitching, light and darkness blinking rapidly back and forth.

His eyes darted for the gun, following its flight path, only for a sudden blink of the light to illuminate ringed knuckles that came dangerously close to his face. He whipped back, his spine hitting the grip handle on the wall, managing to grab a hold of it just as another punch made impact with the side of his cheek.

Red exploded. Scarlet tasted bitter on his tongue, taking a few small but dexterous hops sideways to create distance.

Grimacing, Six spit into a corner, his words coming in soft exhales as he took that brief reprieve to catch his breath. He wasn’t given much, forced up against the wall with the handle digging into his spine. A knife pressed dangerously close to his throat, the side of the blade creating a sharp line. “Can we not do this right now? I’m kind of in a hurry.”

But there were certain elements that lied dormant until it heeded the call for survival. Dangerous instincts hardwired into his biological systems, tangled between societal standards and cultural acceptance. Suffering from the human condition. A fissure had opened between Six’s past and present, threatening to engulf his future.

Claire’s future.

“You’re worth a lot of money,” the attacker mused with a heavy timber accentuated with an accent that Six didn’t recognize. His expression twisted, a scoff ripping through his throat. “Two hundred thousand for the Gray Man’s head. I’m not impressed.”

Six resisted the urge to roll his eyes at that natural nonchalance that this man sported–an attitude with the knowledge that he would win.

“You’re no run-of-the-mill yourself.” He retorted, only to earn a punch that speared him in the gut as a consolation prize. A cough forced itself from deep in his stomach, groaning in irritation. His tongue caught a stray lop of blood on the side of his lip, and without warning, he jerked his knee up, slamming it into the man’s abdomen, darting sideways to one of the corners.

The man doubled over, spitting a slew of curses in a language that Six didn’t understand before charging him again. The full force of his weight knocked into his side and sent him into the wall. Six’s head hit it first, exploding with a sudden burst of pain at the side of his skull. Trembling fingers gripped hard, his eyes struggling to refocus through the ringing in his ears, a pounding sensation rocking against the back of it while his free hand fumbled for his gun.

Six pushed himself to stand again despite the disorientation. His free arm wrapped around his stomach, just barely stumbling sideways as a fist collided with the wall.

He swung at him again then again, the cramped confines of the space only growing smaller and smaller as they moved about.

A boot collided with his ankle. Hard.

Six buckled, his back hitting the floor and yanking what little breath he had from him. His blurring figure hovered over him, drawing his gun. In one harsh movement, he threw his foot up, knocking it out of his unsuspecting hands and sending it careening across the floor with a metal clang. He dove for his own where it lay neglected in a darkened corner, scooping it up into his hand, rolling forward, and propping himself onto one knee.

The desire to survive overpowered any hesitations he may have had.

Two gunshots rang out, echoing into the stillness, only to find his attacker not there.

In one fluent movement, the man appeared behind Six and grabbed his arm. He jerked him forward, one arm wrapping around his throat, another delivering a quick blow to the back of his knee, sending him down. His nails dug desperately at the arm that kept him trapped. The free hand grasping his gun was forcibly held still at his side.

It should’ve been easy. He’d done it so many times in half the amount it would take someone without the proper training. Except this time it was purely to defend himself. Six hadn’t possessed a strong urge to preserve his own life. It'd been all about following orders from the very start, and then he’d remembered Claire, preserving her life—everything the CIA had tried and almost succeeded in destroying in him.

That had been all that mattered, but now even more than ever, Six wanted to live.

And he would try.

For her sake.

The man’s towering form wavered just a moment, just long enough for another shot to echo out, grazing past his assailant’s right shoulder.

Missed.

Another passed the left shoulder.

Missed.

Blurred edges framed his vision, body warning him that he would pass out. Having the current upper hand, the gun was wrenched from his hand, placing the shaft against Six’s temple. He scratched at the tight hold around his throat that was restricting his blood’s flow, opening his mouth and breathing in. His nostrils flared, his insistent struggling becoming more weak.

72.

With a ding, the elevator door opened, and through his blurry haze, he came face to face with Lloyd Hansen

“Hey, Sunshine!” Lloyd–fucking Lloyd–greeted him, waving with fingers replaced by prosthetics. “Ease up on the Ken doll won’t ya? There’ll be plenty of time for foreplay later.” At his demand, Six was released, sent into the floor sputtering and coughing. He strongly contemplated that he was dead, that this was some weird type of hell.

But Lloyd knelt beside him, startling real, and just as annoying. “Have you met my friend?”

Six looked up, his shoulders rising and falling while he caught his breath. He squinted, lips parted in unbelievability, wanting more than anything to wipe the trash stache off of his smug face. With the possibility that he knew Claire was there, it was the only thing that encouraged him to stay on his best behavior until he was sure otherwise. “I’ve had the pleasure, yeah.”

“I paid him extra to choke you out like that by the way. I wanted to reminisce a little about the old days.” Lloyd gently chided. “Before that bitch Suzanne shot me.”

“I remember.” Six said, unable to keep his own version of a smug grin from creeping across his face. “It was kind of funny.” He wiped at his mouth, settling back on his haunches where he could look at Lloyd more fully, relishing in the feeling of just getting to sit down.

Lloyd lingered. Too close. They were almost nose to nose.

“What did I do to get graced with your stache now?”

“Oh, you’re going to find out. I’ve got a whole date planned, actually. Just you and me.” At the confession, Six had just blinked the haze out of his eyes, a burst of stars forcing them directly back in. Pain shot through the bridge of his nose, a nausea making him gag as he slumped back against the floor. A low growl rumbled within him, rapidly blinking fluorescent lights and Lloyd’s face swirling around him in those last few seconds.

Thoughts of Claire came to the surface of it all, praying to whatever God existed that she was safe being the last thing that graced his mind before he was gone.

#Sierra Six #Court Gentry #Courtland Gentry #The Gray Man 2022 #The Gray Man Fanfiction #Sierra Six & Claire Fitzroy #Courtland Gentry & Claire Fitzroy #Court Gentry & Claire Fitzroy #Lloyd Hansen #Sierra Six & Lloyd Hansen #Fanfiction

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cinnamonest · 3 years

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Since people actually liked it here's the continuation of the modern Xiao camgirl!darling post I cut from the original, as promised, most if it's under a cut. Here’s the original post. I didn’t think people would actually like the camgirl concept so I thought I was rambling too much and cut this part out lol but here it is now!

Tws: derogatory language/female slurs, mentions of reader being a cheater, reader is promiscuous, murder, incel-y mentality (our modern boy would be a 4chan user, look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong) and mentions of upsetting realistic things, this one's darker than the first part. If you're bothered by other modern stuff for being too realistic best avoid this too probably, involuntary pornography ---------- Coming up on one year since you gained your most loyal subscriber, you get a rather... Unsettling request. He has something he would like this month, in fact, he adds a few hundred to the regular amount (he's been saving up just for this) and asks for just the answer to one simple question. What's your name?

Your real name, he clarifies. He doesn't need a last name, nothing like that. It would just... Make him feel closer to you. He avoids using the term "anniversary," even though that's what comes to mind. He also doesn't tell you that he already knows, that this is just a test of your honesty. For someone who's so cautious, you would think you would think to give a fake name whenever you go to coffee shops for them to yell out, or change it on the packages you get. You hesitate. And it would be easy to give him a fake one, yet, you don't really think about it too much, you kinda think about that as an afterthought, what you should have done, but your very real name is typed out and sent before you really process it, and you feel a sort of unease, but it's already sent. No big deal. He can't do much with just your first name, right? If your name is common, you feel pretty safe, but even if it's a rarer one, surely there are other people with it, right? He's happy though. Kinda surprised, really, that you didn't lie to him. Maybe you trust him?

You're not stupid, you know something is wrong, you're becoming paranoid. And you connect the weird feeling to him, bc he goes radio silence for several days leading up to finally taking you. This dude who used to respond to any messages you sent within 10 seconds suddenly... It's like he disappeared? He hasn't responded to anything you send him ever since you said your name. You send him messages saying you haven't heard from him in a while and you're worried... The way you word it makes it sound like you're worried about him, but you both know that's not what you really mean. You're hesitant and suspicious of every guy you meet. You buy pepper spray and start carrying some around, you nearly spray a poor guy who you thought was trailing you, turns out he just lives in your building. He makes note of it. He watched you buy it, and is quick to realize you always hold it in the same hand. That must be your dominant hand, that's an important mental note for the future, since you're more likely to try to attack him with that hand. He'll remember. He has a note in his phone with information like that. Height, weight, birthday, social security number, parents' names, school she graduated from. All in little bullet points. He adds dominant hand to the list. He's not worried at all really. Already watched you struggle to carry packages he could lift with one hand, your strength doesn't cross his mind as a threat. At first he just doesn't know what to say, and that's why he stops responding, he feels too awkward but... He starts to enjoy the weird feeling of power the whole situation is giving him. You're worried, you're constantly paranoid, and it's because of him. Now you finally understand the same feeling you inflict on him, how you consume his thoughts every waking moment of every day. It used to irritate him that you held so much power over him, while he meant nothing to you. Now, the tables have turned. You're forced to have him constantly in your mind, whether you like it or not, just like you are in his. It's giving you what you deserve. It gives him a feeling of significance. He matters, even if it's not in a good way. And he keeps telling himself that once he's all you have, he'll matter even more. He's smart enough to realize that if you're paranoid, you might have mentioned him by username to someone else, so to ensure he knows what to do from this point, he has to sneak into your apartment at night as you sleep. It's so unbearably tempting, you have no idea -- you're right there and so vulnerable. He has to hold himself back because he knows that if he so much as touched you, he couldn't hold back. But it's torture, standing there so close, watching your chest rise and fall as he fiddles with the phone. Even when he unlocks it with your thumb, he tries to hold the phone from an angle to do so, even if the skin of his hand grazes yours, it would be too much. You have a lot of contacts across your messages and a bunch of different apps. You have one guy in your online chat you've exchanged far more messages with than anyone else! Hundreds upon hundreds of messages, and huge paypal cash drops, who the hell is -- oh, wait, that's him. Nevermind. But, to his pleasant surprise, he's the only one of your... customers that you regularly talk to, the rest just have a few paypal notifications or clarifications on your policies, but no actual conversations like you have with him. Of course, that's literally part of your deal, he's literally paying for it, but it makes him happy nonetheless. But as he goes through your personal messages, he finds that you are... in no shortage of options. Like, holy shit. It was kind of expected. You *are* really pretty, that's how you have so many followers after all, but this is a lot. So many contacts named some variation of "DO NOT ANSWER!!!" or "creepy guy that forced me to give him my number at the club", etc etc. Plenty of unsaved numbers texting you to never get a response. You've ghosted enough dudes to make your place haunted. It's... kinda awful, really. It also kinda hurts his heart a bit more than he expected. You have so, so, so many options, even without the cam thing, he's more insignificant than he even realized. ...Well, for now, at least. He'll be significant to you soon enough. And then you seem to have a sort of "boyfriend of the month" deal going on, aside from that. Plenty of male-name contacts whose last exchange is a "don't talk to me again!" message from you, plenty of messages corresponding to the same time as those to your girl friends about how you can't find a good guy and every relationship ends badly. How unfortunate. See, it's because you choose bad guys. You probably go for dicks and not.... well, he can't exactly pull the "nice guys like me" mentality, he doesn't delude himself into thinking he is one. He's lucid enough to realize that most nice guys would not be sneaking into your house and standing over your sleeping body to stalk your phone as they make plans to kidnap you. He knows he would probably fall under the classification of a creepy guy. He's just too far gone to care. Still, he would be so much better to you, he tells himself, not a cheater or a player like you complain about. To say he resents those kinds of guys -- ones that can do the unthinkable and actually talk to girls, let alone successfully, only to be assholes, and yet girls like you still go for them -- is an understatement. You're basically just a slut, you probably ignore all the guys that would be nice to you, just like all those internet forums he reads talk about. Typical.

Well, those forums also make fun of guys like him who pay for girls like you, but he can't blame them. It *is* kinda pathetic. There is one dude you talk to, though, now. Current boyfriend of the month, from the looks of it. You have a little heart emoji next to the name. He knows it's kinda pathetic that something so simple and insignificant sets him off, but it does, makes him pout and grind his teeth and curl his other hand into a fist. It's so unfair. Some dude you barely know gets to fuck you, and you haven't even known him nearly as long as you've known him! He doubts this dude -- hell, any of your boyfriends -- has put in the same amount of money that he has into you. They fuck you practically for free. And that, unfortunately for you, only solidifies his decision. If you're fucking some dude for a month because they buy you dinner every now and then, if we're going by that scale, then you owe him quite a good deal of pussy. Any hesitancy or guilt he had about the whole thing is gone. And he's a little mad. Keeps grumbling to himself that you're just a loose whore, fucking so many people and putting yourself out there on the internet. He wonders if they even know about what you do. Probably not, you probably don't tell them. Yeah, that sounds like what you'd do. Really, you're kinda lucky that someone like him is so willing to commit to you, since you are a slut. You don't deserve it, but he loves you anyway. And you'll probably have the nerve to be ungrateful for it too. Sigh. On the bright side, by some miracle, it would appear that you have not told any real-life people about him, you haven't sent out any hey if I disappear you should probably look into this creep type of messages. But he can't afford to have you doing so in between now and when you move in with him, so, he decides he has to act within the next 24 hours. While he's here, though, he decides to do a quick sweep of your place. Makes note of what snacks and drinks you like, what brand of toothpaste and shampoo and the like you use, so he can buy some for you. Maybe you'll adjust better if you have some of your favorite things. And then, after days of silence, he sends you a message, says it's fine, his internet went out for a few days. He means it to reassure you, but somehow it makes you feel more uneasy. He has everything planned out, or so he thinks. But you deviate from your usual schedule. When you leave work or class, you don't go home, you go somewhere else, first. How strange. Maybe picking up groceries? He follows from a distance. No, looks like you're going out to eat...? Maybe you're meeting friends or family or -- no that's a guy. Fuck. You must have planned this just earlier today, since there were no messages on your phone. It makes a bitter feeling rise in his gut. He hates that he can't get close enough to listen to your conversation. Well, he hates the whole thing, sits there and seethes the whole time. Watches you through the windows in the parking lot, thankfully you chose to sit outside. Feels his eye twitch and his hand clench every time you smile and laugh. It takes way too long. The fact that you split the bill feels like a punch to the stomach too. Shouldn't you be used to taking guys' money? Oh, and what's this...? This guy isn't the picture on boyfriend-of-the-month's contact. Well, well, well. You really are a whore. See, it's a very good thing he's taking you off the market. You're probably a reckless heartbreaker too. He's doing all the other men of the world a favor by taking on such a burden as you. And it makes him feel far more justified in keeping you locked away, since he has every reason to believe, now, that you'd run off and fuck someone else if given the chance. Halfway through, the guy briefly gets up and runs to the bathroom or something. While he's gone, he sees your face fall a bit. And then he sees you look around. You turn your head from one side to the other. Your eyes scan the area. You shuffle uncomfortably and you bite your lip and your eyebrows furrow. You're scared. You feel like -- no, you know you're being watched and it scares you. That makes him a little happy, for some reason. He wouldn't be sure what to do if you went home with the guy, but thankfully you don't. No big deal, this was just a bump in the road, he still beats you back to your building and he still goes through with the original plan. Even better, now that it's even darker outside. If anything, now he's got extra aggression and testosterone in his blood, running over the events in his head and going through some... very forceful and violent fantasies. The message he sent had you uneasy, and it's also how you immediately know what's going on when it does finally happen. You keep telling yourself you're being unnecessarily paranoid, that it's nothing, maybe that guy actually got his life together or got a girlfriend or something. Things like... What you fear, don't happen in real life, that's stuff that only happens in movies and stuff. You keep calling it that or it in your head. That won't happen to you. It's not going to happen. The series of events that play out in your head, scenarios you try to push out of your mind. Sure, in the movies it always takes place in the stairwell, but that's fiction, so you go up the apartment stairwell as always. You're not gonna let a bunch of B-grade old films scare you. And it's always some dude standing and waiting, but that nice young boy that you've never seen before is just leaning against the wall, scrolling on his phone, he only glances up for a second as you pass by, he's not a threat, you're being paranoid. You flash a smile and a little wave as you walk by, he doesn't return either, just looks back down at his phone. See? This guy doesn't even care, you're being paranoid for nothing, you tell yourself. But as you make the turn to go up the next set of stairs you hear the click of a phone being put on the lockscreen, a few metallic footsteps ringing out in the open hall and echoing, coming up right behind you, but for that split second you expect a tap on the shoulder, maybe he has a question, it's not like movies, it's not like movies, you're not gonna get a cloth shoved over your face and--- Well, it's not exactly like the movies. You were prepared, but it all happens in one motion - one hand grabs the hand with the spray and twists it, making you drop it, the other wraps some material over your mouth. You were prepared enough that you don't gasp in surprise, you hold your breath and thrash, but it doesn't make any difference, you wiggle and writhe for a few moments but can't even begin to break free, eventually succumb to the lack of oxygen and take a deep breath. It takes a few seconds to settle in, it's not so immediate. You instinctively panic and thrash again, but he has a complete iron grip. The dizziness takes a second to set in. He huffs a bit in frustration and says stop moving, it's fine. It's definitely not, but it occurs to you that that's not something a kidnapper looking for any potential vulnerable girl says. It's a poor attempt at comfort. It's someone specifically looking for you. And if that wasn't enough, he says your name. Your very real name. Maybe it was a mistake to tell him after all. But the worst part of it all is that there's not a single doubt in your mind, even in your panic you have the realization, it's definitely him and this is literally exactly what you were afraid of. And it's the last thing that goes through your head. And once he's got you out cold he just takes a sigh of relief. He may have been very neutral faced to you, but in reality he was incredibly nervous. He hasn't exactly made or used chloroform before, our boy is operating on YouTube tutorials here. He's got adrenaline pumping through his veins and carries you with his arms trembling. He's on autopilot carrying you out, but his mind is also consumed by holy fuck I'm touching her she smells so nice she's so warm her face is so close I'm actually touching her-- you get the idea. He feels bad about taping your hands and feet together and putting you in the trunk of his car, kinda. It feels too much like what a really bad person would do to a girl they didn't care about, like he's a trafficker or a murderer or a criminal or something, but that's not true at all. Sure, he's still mad at you for being a whore and all that, but it feels improper, he just has no choice. It's late at night, but he can't risk getting pulled or being at a stoplight and someone seeing an unconscious girl in his backseat, so, trunk it is. But once he's home, to his tiny little downtown apartment (he'll probably be able to move into a better place soon, since he's not paying you tons of money anymore), he takes a quick check to make sure the coast is clear, and drags you out, up the stairs, all the way into his apartment, sets you down on the bed, where you'll be staying. He even washed the sheets and cleaned the place up a bit for your arrival. You probably would not like to see what this place looked like before the five trash bags worth of cleaning was done. He'll probably be more motivated in the future, though, since now he won't be so depressed all the time. And then the adrenaline of the fear of being seen is over, and that's when it sets in that this is real. It's very, very hard to hold back. You're real, in the flesh, he can reach out and touch you with his hands! It feels like a dream. And he realizes he can take this opportunity to do things he would be far, far too embarrassed to do when you're awake. He takes a few minutes to do just that, cautiously reaches out to poke your face, and then run a hand down your neck, your skin is so soft! Your hair smells so nice, he lays down beside you and runs his fingers over it. Puts hands on your body and just lays there in awe of the fact that you're real. He's pretty certain he's never actually touched a human female before now. Everything about you feels soft. Weirdly feminine, which is something very foreign and confusing to him. And he kinda uh... Loses it. Goes buckwild with just taking in every aspect of you. Again, since you're unconscious he can be gross and entirely shameless about it. Peels your clothes off and runs his hands and mouth over every inch of flesh, takes the tape off your lips and presses his tongue into your limp mouth until he's forced to let go to breathe, fingers you and tonguefucks you and sucks on your nipples and your neck. Lays pressed against you and just breathes in your scent. It takes every ounce of self control he has not to fuck you already. But he does jerk off a few times. That way he'll last longer, so it's a win-win. And then... you twitch. Tape goes back over your mouth. And then, you twitch again. And this time, you make a little "mm!" under the tape, you start trembling and he sees you try to pull your hands apart. You whimper. It sounds scared and distressed. He feels kinda bad, but it also makes him hard, and that outweighs any guilt by far. Besides, it's what you deserve after what you did earlier. You tortured him mentally, it's only fair. On the good side of things, you suppose, you don't have to worry about the usual fears one would have over such a situation - you're fairly certain he's not going to kill you, nor sell you. In fact, the bed you wake up on is pretty soft. You're naked and the tape is uncomfortable, but... At least he was considerate enough to give you a blanket. He does care about you, after all. First thing he says is asking if you're awake. Can you hear me? You hesitate a moment, and then you nod. He's a bit new to this whole abduction thing. He wants to make sure he didn't pull a muscle or something with the tape. So... Do you hurt anywhere? Does your head hurt? Oh, right, the tape. He's not stupid either. You have to promise you're not going to scream. In fact, he's angry enough about earlier that he gets a bit meaner than he originally told himself he'd be. If you scream, I'll make you regret it. Understand? You nod, so he takes it off, holding it close in preparation in case you were lying, but you don't actually answer him, you're silent again for a minute, then just ask a question of your own. You're that guy, right? He's silent for a few seconds, there's no need for any clarification. Finally just says yeah. You just breathe again. Silently. Finally you summon the courage to ask him what he wants with you. And why are you doing this to me? And his answer is fairly simple. What do you think? You don't say anything for a minute, and neither does he. He's not good with words, and you don't really have ones for this situation. It occurs to you that offering to pay him to let you go is probably not the solution. After all, this is the guy that's dumped unimaginable amounts of money onto you, you couldn't even come close to paying him back. You figure maybe, after he gets what he wants... well, you get the courage to ask. Is there anything... that I can do o-or... anything that will make you... are you gonna let me go, after you....? And the answer is, again, simple, but the one you did not want to hear. No. He's a blunt boy, so he doesn't beat around the bush, but he doesn't torment you by keeping anything from you. In fact, he's already rehearsed this speech a few hundred times in his head. He just wanted to make sure he's very clear so there's no misunderstanding, and while he likes some discomfort in a vengeful sort of way, he doesn't want you to be too freaked out to where you have a panic attack. He says he's just going to... keep you here. He has the things you'll need. He got your purse with your keys, so he'll even run to your apartment after this to go get some of your stuff. You don't need to tell him which number, he adds, he already knows which apartment you're in. He needs you here, he says. And he makes sure to add that it's your fault. If you were never out there selling yourself in the first place, this never would have happened. If you're good, he can make things a bit better for you. But you need to go ahead and accept that you're going to be staying and that no amount of begging or offers is going to convince him to let you go. He can be nice to you, he promises. A better boyfriend than the others. You just have to be a good girlfriend -- you know, obedient and sweet and do what he says. Just like you always were when you talked to him. Just keep being sweet like that and doing the things he tells you to do. You would argue that the terms boyfriend and girlfriend are not appropriate descriptors of the sort of relationship he's creating, but you keep that thought to yourself. Instead, you ask, How long are you going to keep me here? Which is a dumb question, since he's pretty sure he already made that clear. Forever. -----

There's a double homicide in the area. Takes place on the same night, and the same diameter of knife is used, so police believe maybe the two incidents are connected. Especially because they do have something in common, one girl. She was romantically involved with both of them. The girl in question's apartment has been vacated, very suddenly, and the girl has disappeared without a trace, taking things with her from the looks of it, so police believe she may be responsible, but other than that, they have no leads. A few weeks later, a video circulates all over the internet. Some famous camgirl finally started making porn, apparently. Just one video, but the description (which was totally written by her, it has to be since it's written in first person right?) says something about how she decided to quit camming, so this video marks the end of her career. She got into a relationship, so she says in the description, so she has to quit. It's roleplay porn, apparently, she's doing a good job at the acting. All tied up and gagged and getting fucked by some big-dicked guy holding the camera. He's silent, but she's making a ton of noise, cums several times. Really good acting, the fear and desperation in her eyes looks so real. Talk about going out with a bang. It gets a lot of likes. Tons of comments about how sad people are she's quitting. And of course, a lot of comments say, what a lucky guy.

#.camgirl

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kenmasgameboy · 4 years

Photo

ruin me.

chapter 8: who?

previous…next

masterlist

kuroo tetsurou came into y/n’s life when she needed him to fuck it up the most.

Kuroo tapped the notebook you where you were rewriting your notes for better organization. You looked over, eyes wide with the sudden eye contact he made. Fuck, he’s so hot. You thought this to yourself and had to look away.

“When do you have to close up?” Kuroo asked, his voice smooth in your ear as you become painfully aware of his gaze.

“Half an hour.” You mumbled, checking your watch. Thanks to the silence around you he still heard you.

“Perfect, uh.” Kuroo nervously fiddled with his pencil, trying to prepare himself to be rejected, “Could I walk you home when you’re done?”

“What?” You practically choke it out, your skin feeling hot and sweaty under your current predicament.

“It’s just getting late, I think Inuoka had to have gone home by now if you were planning on going with him. But I’d love to walk you. I really don’t mind.” Kuroo insisted. You gripped the page of your book, crinkling the corner of it between your thumb and index finger.

“Kuroo-san?” You finally gain the courage to say something above a mumble.

“You don’t have to be so formal—” Kuroo started but you needed to let it out before you swallowed it back down forever.

“Why are you messing with me? I know I tweeted that thing but I didn’t think you’d ever see that. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” You said it in practically one long breath, trying to get it all out of your chest like blowing it into a balloon.

“What tweet? Oh the one where you said I was some good fucking food, something about being a delicious specimen, right?” He flashed a handsome teasing grin your way. Your whole body felt like cringing, curling in on itself until you turned into seafoam but restricted it to just your hands curling and your face wincing. Why did you ever forget the internet is forever?

“I’m just teasing you. Of course, I’m flattered. But I was interested in knowing who you were before I even saw that.” He insisted, his genuine smoothness spilling across the table.

“Oh.” You said, quickly turning your face into your opposite shoulder as to hide the panic and flustered expression you surely are wearing. Kuroo wanted to see that face so bad. A light breath was exhaled from his nose as he held back his laugh, you were amusing though he would give you that.

“Why don’t I walk you home?” He repeated himself. You remembered Inuoka’s long gone and the dark of the night had already settled in. You couldn’t walk home alone, but walking home with a guy you didn’t know very well also didn’t sound like a fun risk.

“Y/N-chan?” Your class representative suddenly had approached the desk, Nakamura Satoshi. You hadn’t spoken to him much, only when he needed you to do a certain task. He was #1 in your year, and was extremely popular with the staff and faculty. He wasn’t exactly Kuroo’s status with popularity, but he was up there. There was no doubt people knew who they were. And they knew who each other were.

You were so thankful that nobody else was in this library. As this would be quite the sight for anyone to see. Two of some of the most popular boys at this school hanging around the loner librarian assistant. What was next? Was an idol going to come try to talk to you as well? You set a reminder in your head to punch Inuoka for leaving you alone tonight.

“Ah, Satoshi-kun, I’m sorry I forgot you were here. Can I help you find something? I was about to close up.” You smiled lightly at him. Your interaction with this guy made Kuroo want to put his fist directly into Nakamura’s face. Did he not see he was working on something over here? He just had to come ruin it, huh? Why were you so familiar with each other? Kenma said you didn’t talk to anyone. Kuroo’s patience was coming to a stifling end.

“Ah not exactly, I’m sorry to keep you past your shift. Is the librarian coming to relieve you?” Satoshi asked you,

“No, I’m locking up tonight. She texted me a little while ago to let me know she couldn’t come back to do it.” You said. Kuroo was getting antsy, starting to pack up his things as he tried to urge this kid to stop talking. He was getting the need to be petty, jealous of how comfortable you were with him.

“Oh, I see.” He said, returning his voice to a normal level since nobody else was here, “I was wondering if you could help me understand this assignment from English? You got second highest in that subject last term, right?”

“Well, yeah. Second to you?” You turned your head to the side in confusion, but Kuroo didn’t miss a beat in understanding this guys game plan.

“I could help you.” Kuroo smiled nonchalant, playing coy as if he didn’t know a thing.

“Oh, Kuroo-san! My apologies, I didn’t see you there.” Satoshi bowed and smiled politely. Immediately it was like a surge of lightening went through both of their eyes, their competitive natures being at opposing sides with each other.

“No worries, I scored #1 in english the last 3 years, I don’t mind helping you.” Kuroo said, trying to draw his attention away from you.

“That’d be great, but I’d feel like I was cheating if i got help from someone as advanced as you. Besides, Y/N-chan always takes the best notes from what we covered in class today. I swear! They’re always better than mine.” Satoshi was being light-hearted but not even you could deny the air had gotten thicker.

“It’s okay, um. Is it this one? I’ll admit it was kind of difficult. Learning when to use past, present, and future tense verbs can get rather difficult especially if it changes mid-sentence.” You said this while looking down at the identical sheets, trying to ignore that half of the answer bubbles looked like they used to have writing in them but had been erased. But Kuroo certainly couldn’t ignore that.

“I know, I’ve been kinda struggling with it. Kuroo-san, this could take a little while. You shouldn’t have to wait for Y/N-chan. I can walk her home.” Satoshi tried to wave him off. Kuroo stood up, using his height to his advantage over Satoshi who was probably only 4 inches shorter than Kuroo, but still enough to make his point.

“I don’t mind waiting, I already got my studies done for the day. No need to rush.” Kuroo insisted, “Besides, L/N already told me she wanted me to walk her home.”

“I don’t remember her saying that.” Satoshi pointed out, causing Kuroo’s eyes to widen. So, he had been listening to them. “Y/N-chan, do you mind staying with me, I’d love your input about a few other things for our class? I’ll walk you home and buy you something from the vending machine.”

You wanted to explode. Right then and there felt like the perfect time to just implode actually, so why couldn’t you spontaneously combust.

“Uh..” You nervously fiddled with the end of your uniform sweater, you looked up to Kuroo for some kind of answer. You don’t know why you had done that, you just felt like he would help you in this. Inuoka normally would be that person for you, but now out of the two in front of you, you go to Kuroo. But he just stared down Satoshi instead, when you made eye contact with him you backed down again. You panicked under his gaze. He registered that look you were giving him a second too late, “Kuroo-san, I would feel bad making you wait for me. It’s okay to go on without me.”

Kuroo wished he could back track, he wished he had the right authority to just pick you up and take you with him. He wished he could’ve gone back to when you looked at him with those panicked eyes looking for an answer and answered for you again so that you would feel like you had an ally. Satoshi didn’t skip a single beat, he took the seat Kuroo had been sitting in for the last few hours to make sure he could be even closer to you than he had been to immediately start asking you questions to ignore Kuroo.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, L/N.” Kuroo couldn’t help but hang his head with his defeat. As soon as Kuroo left through the front doors, the rubber band you felt between the two of you that had been getting pulled tighter and tighter was cut by the doors of the library. It snapped back and hit the air out of your chest. You felt weaker without him, like you couldn’t focus on what Satoshi was asking you even though you were more familiar with him he never gave you the same feeling of blissful silence in the way Kuroo gave you today.

You didn’t know that Kuroo was going to give you up that easy. You didn’t know that he wasn’t. That he was waiting down the hall waiting for you to leave with that guy with you so he could prove his own suspicions. He was never going to give up that easily.

***

TAGLIST:

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send a comment or an ask to be added to the taglist! if your name is crossed out it’s because i couldn’t find it! let me know if you’ve changed your username!

a/n wOW WHAT A MASSIVE CHAPTER! let me know what you guys think <3 a bit more drama-filled than normal hehe

#kuroo #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo smau #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq #hq x reader #kuroo smut #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsuro #kenma #inuoka #haikyuu smau

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starryeyes-darkestnights · 4 years

Text

Wicked Game

Part 4 of We Dance Together Now

An O’Knutzy au where Leo and Logan are still playing for the Lions, but Finn is a musician/grad student they met by chance on a roadie to Montreal.

Here are the first few parts!

Part 1 - Jingle Bell Rock

Part 2 - This City

Part 3 - Shut Up and Drive

I also stuck this up on AO3, my username there is the same :)

I struggled a LOT with this chapter. I’m still not sure it’s done what I wanted it to do, but I hope it works. And I hope you like it :)

I’m suuuuuper excited for the next one, I’ve had it half-written since I started this fic!

These beautiful characters and their world belong to the incredible @lumosinlove

The songs referenced are My Shot, from Hamilton, and Wicked Game, which has several remixes that could work here, but I was listening to the Yola Recoba version, personally.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Leo

“Thanks for helping today, Tremz.” Leo leaned against the entry wall and watched Logan slip on his shoes.

“No problem,” Logan looked up at him, his eyes sparkling mischievously, “You needed someone big and strong to carry your boxes up the stairs. Who am I to leave a damsel in distress?” He stood and flexed his biceps.

Leo rolled his eyes and shoved Logan toward the door. He could hear Finn laughing behind him. “Get out.”

Logan looked over his shoulder and grinned. “Your wish is my command, princess.” Leo moved to shove him again, but Logan snatched up his bag and ducked out the door before he could reach him. “You love me!” he yelled as he jogged down the hall. Leo just shook his head at the older boy’s antics and turned the lock behind him before flopping down on the couch with a tired groan.

The three of them had just finished setting up his new room. In Finn’s apartment. Where he lived now. With Finn. He was still wrapping his head around it. It was crazy to think he didn’t have to pack up his stuff and move somewhere else again next week; that he had blankets that hadn’t been slept on by a hundred people before him. Finn was a godsend of a human being.

He was also a walking tornado of a human being, and Leo’s current state of exhaustion was a result of today being a shining example of both of those traits.

Since he’d been living in hotels all year Leo didn’t own any furniture of his own, which meant he had spent his Friday morning going from store to store buying what he needed. Finn had volunteered to drive, and Logan had tagged along too. The two of them had also very kindly volunteered to spend their afternoon helping him build everything. It was very, very nice of them, and Leo had been incredibly grateful for their company, and for their help… at least until they actually started putting things together. It had been funny at first, watching Logan and Finn jump headlong in to building things without taking the time to read the instructions. But the resultant failures had meant that Leo had to unbuild everything they touched, actually read the instructions, and then give them explicit directions on how to put it back together properly. Instead of the few hours Leo had expected to spend on it, the whole thing had taken them until the late evening, and now Leo was exhausted and ready to relax.

He heard Finn wander into the living room after him, and his smiling face appeared over the back of the couch above him. “What’s up, Marigold?”

Leo closed his eyes, trying not to roll them as he let out an exasperated chuckle. “Finn. That is STILL a terrible nickname.”

“It is not.”

“Yes it is. ‘What’s up marigold’ makes no sense. ‘What’s up buttercup’ works because it rhymes.” He opened his eyes back up to emphasize his point. “Marigold does not rhyme. At all.”

Finn just shrugged, pushing himself back up to walk around the couch. “You should have thought of that before you accepted it in the first place.”

“I didn’t accept it! I just gave up trying to argue with you two and- ugh. Never mind.”

“That’s what I thought.” Finn grinned. “Plus, I googled marigolds after that night because I didn’t actually know what they were, and the name suits you.”

“What?” Leo looked at him, curious. “Why?”

Finn’s expression faltered for a second as he lifted Leo’s feet to sit on the other end of the couch. He put them back down in his lap, making Leo’s heart skip a beat. When he spoke again, his voice was a little softer. “Your hair shines like them, in the sun. Golden.”

Leo had to work to keep his face neutral. That was… sweet. And unexpected. Finn was always doing things he didn’t expect.

Before he could think of a response, Finn’s cocky grin was back in place. “Also, calling you marigold makes you grumpy, which, like, never happens, so I’m never giving it up.”

Leo didn’t even try to hide it this time as he rolled his eyes affectionately, lifting his legs and giving Finn a gentle kick with his socked feet. “Whatever,” he laughed. “I’m going to shower. Have you seen that duffel bag Logan brought in? It has all my comfortable clothes.”

Finn just pointed wordlessly to entryway where he and Logan had dumped a few of Leo’s bags, abandoning unpacking them in favour of wreaking utter havoc trying to build his bedroom furniture.

Leo wandered over and grabbed the Lions duffel off the floor, pausing as he lifted it. He didn’t’ remember it being this empty… he unzipped it, suspicious, and sure enough, he found Logan’s training gear inside.

He groaned. “Damn it.”

Finn looked over to him. “What’s wrong?”

“Logan took my bag. This is his stuff.”

“Oh. Shit.” He looked from the bag up to Leo, and then popped up from the couch. “No worries, I have a solution!” he called, jogging toward his bedroom.

Leo, curious yet again, gently put Logan’s bag back down and started to follow. As he reached the corner, Finn popped back out of his room with a pile of clothes in his hands, almost crashing into him as he gave a little squeak.

“Ahh! Oh my god, why are you right there!? You scared the shit out of me. Learn to make noise when you walk.”

Leo chuckled at that, a memory of Logan saying that exact phrase to him the first night they watched Finn play running through his mind. “You and Logan are scarily similar sometimes, you know that?”

“What?” A confused look crossed Finn’s face.

Leo just smiled, and Finn shook his head.

“You know what, never mind. I don’t think I want to know. Here.” He passed Leo a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. “You can sleep in these tonight and we’ll get your stuff from Logan tomorrow. They’re both pretty big on me so I’m hoping they’ll fit you properly.”

Leo, taken aback by the gesture, accepted the pile with a surprised but grateful smile. “Oh. Thank you, Finn. You didn’t have to do that.”

Finn shrugged, his wide brown eyes twinkling. “I know where you live. I’ll get them back.”

---

But as Leo pulled the shirt on after his shower, he decided that Finn was not, in fact, getting it back. It was soft. And it smelled like Finn. He breathed in deeply. It was silly, he knew, to cling to this little bit of him- to pretend it was Finn, instead of his clothes, that he was allowed to have. But he was doing it anyway. He could let himself have this little thing. He turned to look in the mirror and let out a surprised snort. “Of course.” He chuckled to himself.

He padded out to the living room, where Fin was still lying on the couch, a book in his hand.

“I thought you were joking about loving the Eagles.” He teased, his mouth quirking up on one side.

Finn sat up and looked over at him, a strange look crossing his face as he took in Leo’s appearance. It was gone before Leo could read into it, replaced with a dramatic showing of mock outrage.

“One does not joke about the Eagles, Leo!” He gestured down at the band logo stretched across Leo’s chest. “That logo is a badge of honour. Wear it with pride.”

Leo just shook his head, amused. “Aye, aye, captain.” He saluted Finn. “Thanks again. I’ll see you in the morning?”

Finn waved goodnight and Leo slipped back into his room, turning off the lights and smiling up at the city lights flickering across the ceiling. His ceiling, now. He chewed on his lip for a second, thinking, before getting back out of bed and walking softly to the living room.

Finn looked up at him when he entered, and whatever Leo had been about to say immediately caught in his throat. The warm lamplight was sending soft shadows across Finn’s features, making his freckles glow against the pale of his skin. He was curled into the corner of the couch, book in his hands and a blanket wrapped around him, and Leo wanted nothing more in that moment than to be there too, cuddled up beside this beautiful boy. His heart pulled in his chest.

He realized he was staring when Finn spoke up and broke the spell. “What’s up, Leo?” his smile was soft, gentle. “Do you need something? Can I get you anything?”

Leo straightened up at that, shaking his head. “No, no. I’m good. Thank you. And I’m sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you, and I won’t keep you, but I just wanted to say thank you. For having me here. You didn’t have to offer up your space, and I appreciate it. It really means a lot.”

Finn closed his book and leaned forward; his expression sincere as he locked eyes with Leo. “I’m just glad you’re happy. You deserve to have a home. I wouldn’t want you to be anywhere else.”

And when Leo went back to his room that night, he fell asleep quickly, breathing in the scent of Finn and, for the first time since he came to this city, finally feeling at home.

---

Finn

The next few months passed by quickly for Finn, everything blurring together in an exhausting but happy mess of work and play. He had thought it would be more of a learning curve, sharing his space with Leo after living alone for the past 4 years- and some days it was a bit weird, remembering that there was another person around and he couldn’t just play guitar at 2am, or work through melodies in the shower when Leo was sleeping- but he wouldn’t change it back for anything.

He’d always known he was insanely lucky to live in the apartment he did (his parents had bought it as an investment property when he first moved to Gryffindor- perks of their jobs in real estate). Very few college students had the privilege of even a single spare room, let alone two, and not worrying about needing roommates to pay rent had saved him from needing to share the space with strangers. But it had been lonely.

Now, when he was finished his long day on campus studying, or working on his music, he actually looked forward to going home- even if it was only to meet up with Leo and leave again. After that first celebration he had gone to with Leo and Logan, it had become routine for them to invite him to join them for any dinners or parties that weren’t team-exclusive. He went to every one that he could and had ended up making some pretty good friends in that crowd. In particular, him and Kasey’s girlfriend Natalie had struck up a fun friendship. She was also a musician, and the two of them had gotten together several times over the past few months just to play.

The boys had also asked him to let them know his gig schedule, and they had been there for every single show they weren’t working during. Finn liked having them there, knowing he would have their company as soon as he got off stage. They always had a drink waiting for him, and they usually found somewhere to go dance for the rest of the evening. Logan was always making fun of how Leo used to hate going out, but they danced together often now, and it was one of Finn’s favourite things.

Any nights they didn’t spend working, or with the team, or at one of Finns gigs, they usually spent together just the three of them, squeezed into a booth at Sid’s or lounging around the living room at Finn and Leo’s, playing video games and watching movies. Him and Leo had made the excellent discovery that Pixar movies almost always made Logan cry, though Logan denied it exceptionally violently every time they called him out. It was worth a pillow to the face to be able to tease him though.

Logan stayed over most of those evenings, in the spare room Finn had started thinking of as his. They’d built another bed for him and everything after Finn had woken up the first night he stayed over and seen how cramped he was on the couch. It wasn’t built for hockey players to sleep on and he didn’t like the idea of Logan being uncomfortable. He wanted everyone to feel at home in his place.

Some days it was just Finn and Leo at home, while Logan spent time with the Dumais family. Finn liked those days too. It was nice, hanging out with Leo one on one. The two of them often used the time to do chores, and he had been pleased to find out that they were much more enjoyable with Leo’s company. Grocery shopping with Leo was one of his favourites, riding the cart like a scooter up and down the aisles while Leo picked out everything they needed for dinner, and grabbing all the snacks that he knew Logan liked, so they could always be there when he came by. And he particularly enjoyed coming home and putting things away while Leo cooked, both of them singing along to the radio as the apartment filled with the smells of Leo’s southern recipes.

On quiet nights, he liked wandering into Leo’s room for company, the two of them laying next to each other on Leo’s giant bed and talking about books. One of the first nights he had done that, he had noticed his own t-shirt, the one he had lent Leo his first night, and that had curiously gone missing shortly after, hanging up on Leo’s closet door. Leo had been flustered, apologizing for snagging it from Finn’s clean laundry, and explaining that it was ‘just really comfortable’. Finn had tried very hard to hide the mini heart attack he was sure he was having at the idea of Leo choosing to wear his clothes, and he must have done an alright job of it because Leo continued to steal it often enough that it had just become another routine thing between them. Finn pretended to make fun of Leo for it, but he really liked it. He had taken to folding it and dropping it into Leo’s laundry basket when he wasn’t looking.

The addition of Leo’s warm presence, and of Logan’s fiery, mischievous energy, had made his big, cold apartment feel like home. There was always something happening, and it was never boring- sometimes to an extreme degree when Logan was around. Finn still had scars on his hand from Leo’s 19th birthday in February, when he had let Logan convince him that baking a cake wouldn’t be as difficult as it sounded (‘people do it all the time Finn, how hard can it possibly be?’). He had been wrong, as they discovered when he flipped what should have been a cooked cake upside down over the counter, and it turned out to be just a pan full of very hot batter that went all over Finn’s hands. It had stuck to him like very, very hot glue and the two of them had gone into full panic mode. Luckily, Leo had chosen that moment to come home from lunch with Remus, and he got everything under control. He had been exasperated, and quite concerned, but Finn liked to think he had appreciated their effort. Plus, Logan had felt guilty about it for weeks afterward, which Finn had initially felt bad about but then had started to take advantage of by (very dramatically) requesting him to do more and more ridiculous favours. Logan had stopped feeling guilty somewhere in between the request to build him an entire pillow fort (so he could heal in utmost comfort), and the request to do an interpretive dance to Ice, Ice, Baby (so he could feel like his burned hands were encased in ice).

When they were out of town for games, Finn missed having them around. Everything felt too… empty. But they were constantly in touch via their group chat, Leo sending videos of the cities they explored after games, and Logan sending pictures of Leo looking affectionately annoyed at Logan for dragging him out of the hotel to go and do said exploring. Those videos often included appearances from other Lions, usually making terrible 3 Musketeers jokes about them. On one memorable occasion, James had popped in to compare them to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward. That one had positively delighted Finn, not least because Logan’s reaction to realizing he was the Squidward in that analogy had been gold. James had had to run.

Finn didn’t blame them for joking about it. He knew it was a bit strange, the way that they had become so inseparable, so fast. But he didn’t mind. When he looked at them in those videos—the wild in Logan’s eyes, the calm in Leo’s— he was reminded of how they pulled out the best of both those sides of his own personality. He never felt more like himself than he did with them. *

---

Logan

One evening at the end of April, Logan sat sandwiched between Leo and Finn on their living room couch, a steering wheel in his hands. He was deeply focused on steering his car around a particularly dastardly curve when Finn jumped up, knocking Logan’s elbow and sending his character careening off a cliff as he screeched at the TV. “Cheating!! Leo! You’re cheating! Logan! He’s cheating!”

Logan, disgruntled now as he watched himself drop down to last place, just glared up at him. “You knocked me off a cliff. Don’t look at me for sympathy right now.”

Leo just continued playing calmly. “It’s not cheating Finn. I threw a banana at you. If you don’t want to get hit with bananas, don’t drive so close to me.”

“This is insane. Nobody is supposed to be this good at Mario Kart. It’s MARIO KART!” Finn flopped dramatically back down into his spot, groaning. “How have you won every single race?”

“I’m a man of many talents, Finn.”

“This is bullshit.”

Logan snorted, dropping his controller as he crossed the finish line in last place for the 4th time that night. “Says the guy who wins every single round of Halo.”

“Well, if you would stop and think before just picking the biggest bombs and sending your army running headfirst into every battle, maybe you too could win a strategy game.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“You are weirdly good at Halo, Finn.” Leo tossed out. “It’s kind of creepy watching the wheels turn in your head while you play.”

Logan watched, amused, as Finn gasped and glared at Leo in mock offense. “Well then. When the aliens finally invade here and you guys need a team leader to get you through the hordes and into a safe haven, you can find your own general. I’ll be over there helping people who DON’T call me creepy.”

It was Logan’s turn to be offended. “Hey! I didn’t call you creepy.”

Finn considered him for a moment. “Hmm. That’s true.”

He wrapped an arm around Logan’s neck and stuck his tongue out at Leo. “I’ll be over here keeping LOGAN alive, while you get your brains eaten.”

Logan tried to fight back the blush he could feel creeping up his cheeks as Finn’s arm pulled him in. Finn, Logan had discovered, was a very affectionate person, and while his comfort in sharing his personal space had grown on Logan and Leo as well—they were constantly in contact as they shoved together onto the couch—it still made Logan’s pulse pick up every time he felt them close to him.

Leo snorted out a laugh at Finn’s threat as he put down his controller. “I’ll take my chances.” he replied as he stood and stretched, looking out the window at the setting sun. “It’s getting late. Anybody hungry?”

Logan’s stomach actually grumbled out loud at the mention of food.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Leo laughed as he headed out of the living room.

Logan, somewhat reluctantly, pulled himself out of Finn’s hold and followed Leo into the kitchen, plunking himself down on one of the island barstools as Leo started pulling things out of the fridge. Finn disappeared into his room and came back to sit next to Logan a few seconds later, a book in his hand.

“You want to read?” He looked at Logan questioningly.

Logan just nodded at him as he spun around on his stool, slowly relaxing into his seat as the sound of Finn’s voice took over the kitchen, mingling with the sounds of Leo quietly chopping vegetables at the counter next to them.

A few weeks ago, when Leo and Finn were trying to pull him into an argument about book to movie adaptations, Logan had accidentally let it slip that he had never read The Hobbit. The two of them had been borderline offended, which Logan found hilarious, but it had then led to them asking him about other books, and Logan had been forced to admit that not only had he never read The Hobbit, but he had never read any book for fun.

It wasn’t something he liked to talk about, because he always worried it would make him look stupid, but he hated reading. Having to keep his focus on the page, keeping his hands still as they held the book… he just couldn’t handle it. When Leo and Finn had picked up on the fact that it was a sensitive topic, they had dropped it without asking him any more questions, which he had been grateful for. But the two of them still wanted to show him that stories could be fun outside of movie form, and when it became clear that there was no way in hell Logan was picking up a book himself, Finn had come up with a compromise: he would read a book to him. Logan hadn’t been convinced, but he appreciated the thought and figured he could just tune him out if he got bored, so he agreed.

So Finn had read the first chapter of The Hobbit to him and Leo while Leo cooked that night, and, to his surprise, Logan had found himself completely absorbed. It was kind of like listening to a podcast, but with Finn’s intoxicating voice playing all the parts.

It had become a routine after that—Finn reading to them as Leo cooked, and Leo reading to Finn and Logan as they cleaned up after. They always waited for him to read the next part, and it was one of his favourite parts of being at their apartment now. The combination of the sound of Finn’s voice and the smell of Leo’s cooking, made him feel safe.

That evening, Logan was the first to finish eating, and he leaned his chair back away from the table with a satisfied sigh, reaching over to ruffle Leo’s hair from where he was sitting next to him. “Fuck, Knutty, that was amazing. As always.”

Leo smiled back at him, blonde curls now falling over his eyes in a way that was absolutely not adorable. “Thanks, Tremz. I’m glad you guys liked it.”

Finn made a noise at that. “Liked it? Leo, I have genuinely never eaten better in my entire life than I have since you moved in here.”

Well. That provided Logan an excellent segue into his mission for the evening. He let his chair fall back down and folded his hands on the table in front of him. “If that is true, Finn, then I think that you should do something to pay him back.”

Finn looked up from his plate with a mouth full of pasta, brown eyes narrowing suspiciously as he looked between Logan and an amused looking Leo, who had immediately caught on to what Logan was doing. “Oh?”

“Yes. We have a game next Friday, and you’re invited to come. I think that should suffice as payment.”

“Oohh.” Finn plastered on a very fake smile. “That sounds very… interesting. Let me check my schedule and see what I have going on.”

Logan rolled his eyes at Finn’s feigned interest. He had turned down their offers to come to games repeatedly since they had met.

“We have your schedule, idiote. We know you don’t have a show OR an exam. And—” Logan decided to move to his next tactic: guilt, “—you have to come this time. It’s a deciding game for the play-offs. If we lose, you won’t be able to watch us play again until next season.”

“I see.” Finn didn’t look convinced.

“Finn!” Logan tossed his balled-up napkin at him, making him laugh. “You are possibly the only person in this city who would turn down offers to come watch NHL games for free. From the box! MULTIPLE TIMES!”

“I cannot possibly be the only person in this entire city who doesn’t follow hockey.”

When neither Leo nor Logan bothered to respond to that, just continuing to look at him, Finn’s grin fell. He looked uncertain now, and his face turned serious as he looked each of them in the eye. “But… you guys know I support you, right? I follow all your scores and your… game… time, point, things, or whatever online. I even bought a hoodie!”

That was true and it had almost killed Logan the first time he had seen Finn in Lion’s colours. It still made his heart beat faster every time he thought of it. Which wasn’t helping him at the present moment.

Finn sighed. “I just think it’s a waste of a ticket for me to go when I have no idea what is happening. I don’t want to embarrass you guys”

Leo interjected then, pointing his fork at Finn. “First of all, you are never embarrassing. Well, usually not – “

“Fair.” Finn admitted.

Leo shot him a look. “—and not about this, for sure. And second, it’s not a waste of a ticket. We all get to invite our family and friends and stuff this game, and neither Logan’s family nor mine are able to make it. And all of our other friends are either on the team or related to them. So, if you don’t use the ticket, nobody will. Plus,” he set his fork down, his voice gentle, “we want you to come.”

Finn’s face softened, and Logan decided now was time to pull out his Hail Mary. “Also,” he waited until Finn looked over to him, “Natalie’s going to be there. And she already asked us if you were going to come this time.”

He bit back a triumphant smirk as Finn perked up at that. He knew they had him now. Finn and Natalie had hit it off really well the moment they met. So well in fact, that he had almost been jealous. But he wasn’t jealous. Because he had nothing to be jealous of. Finn was just a friend. A friend who was currently living rent-free in his mind wearing that goddamn Lions hoodie, but a friend nonetheless.

Finn pushed his empty plate to the middle of the table. “Well.” His eyes sparkled as he folded his arms and looked between them. “You should have led with that.”

---

Finn

One week later, Finn stood against the glass in the team box, cursing himself for agreeing to come to this game. He had never been more stressed in his life, every muscle in his body tense as he watched the puck bounce from player to player in front of Leo’s net. He had a brand-new respect for Leo’s unflappable demeanour. There was no way he could handle being the last stop between the other team and a goal- he was almost having a nervous breakdown just watching. But Leo was in his element: calm, controlled, moving fluidly around his net and mirroring the puck effortlessly. Finn had never seen someone so focused, so intent. When the other team finally took their shot and Leo snatched it out of the air, Finn let out a relieved breath. His heart was going a million miles a minute, just like it had been for the last hour that the game had been tied 1-1. “Oh my god,” he murmured, dropping his face into his hands. “This is so stressful. How do you guys watch this all the time?”

Natalie laughed next to him. “It can be pretty crazy.”

“You look perfectly relaxed.” Finn replied grumpily. It was true. She was much calmer than he was.

“I’m not as calm on the inside. But I have faith in these guys. I know they can win this.” She paused for a second. “It also helps that Kase is benched for this game with his leg. I’m a wreck when he’s in net during important games. Thank God for Leo Knut.”

“Thank God for Leo Knut?” Finn muttered reproachfully in response. His attention was pulled back to the ice as the puck was dropped again, still in their end. “Thank God for Leo Knut my ass, Leo Knut is the reason I might be seeing God soon. I’m going to have a fucking heart attACK! AH!” He shrieked the end of his sentence as one of the Ravenclaw players crashed into Leo, knocking him backwards into a goal post in a way that looked dangerous. His stomach dropped as Leo went down. He shot a panicked look at Natalie. “What the fuck! That can’t be allowed! Is that allowed?!?” He didn’t wait for an answer before looking up at the giant screens above the ice, currently zoomed in on Leo’s determinedly blank face as he slowly pulled his knees back underneath him. He was definitely going to give him a heart attack.

“No.” Natalie looked unhappy. “No, it’s not allowed. But he’s ok, Finn.”

He’s ok. Finn let out a shaky breath. He looked back down to the ice and was watching Leo stand up and reach for a water bottle when, all of a sudden, the crowd started to yell. Confused, he looked back up at the screens. Instead of Leo, there was now a close-up view of Logan, currently with one fist wrapped around the jersey of the player who had slammed into Leo, the other throwing punches.

Finn’s jaw dropped, his heart jumping up to meet it. Logan’s face was fierce. Angry. That energy that always seemed to be coiled around him, simmering just below the surface, was out in full force. His restraints were gone, and holy shit it was beautiful. Seeing those impossibly green eyes flashing dark with passion… it was lighting something on fire inside of Finn.

The other player was half a foot taller than Logan, but Lo had him down on the ice in seconds, spitting angry words in his face as the referees pulled him away. Finn watched Logan skate to the penalty box, swallowing hard as he took in the way his chest was heaving under his jersey. Holy. Fuck.

He felt heat creeping up his neck, and knew his face was going to turn bright red and give him away if he didn’t distract himself immediately. So he forced his attention back down to where the rest of the team was checking on Leo.

Leo. Logan had unleashed in defense of Leo.

Finn felt the now-familiar twist in his chest that sometimes accompanied seeing the two of them together. The feeling that there was something more between them than they were willing to admit.

Thankfully, Natalie mistook the look on his face for concern, and put a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. “It’s fine Finn, Logan fights all the time. He’s not hurt, he’ll be back on the ice in time to play the last three minutes. And Leo’s already ready to keep playing”

Finn just groaned and dropped his face into his hands. “I am never watching another hockey game again.”

It was supposed to be a joke, but five minutes later Finn watched Logan jump out of the penalty box and take off across the ice, dancing between the other players as he stole the puck and shot toward the net with a searing purpose. And when the goal alarm went off and the entire arena jumped to their feet to celebrate- when Logan was tackled by his teammates, and Leo was skating celebratory circles around his net, and Finn could see the smiles radiating off both of them from where he stood- Finn realized that if he ever wanted to be able to keep his friendships with these boys, it had to be true. Because if he ever watched them play another hockey game again, he would fall in love.

---

“O’Hara, think fast!”

Finn barely had time to register the beer being thrown his way before Leo reached out and snatched it out of the air in front of his chest. “Bliz, how many times do we have to tell you to not throw solid objects at people. Not everybody has your reflexes.”

But Kasey wasn’t listening, already turned around to head back into the living room of Sirius’ house, where they had all convened to celebrate their win. Finn had been grateful for the location- he didn’t think he could handle watching Leo and Logan getting hit on at a club all night tonight. He was still on edge.

Leo rolled his eyes at Kasey’s retreating back and handed the drink to Finn. “I’d wait a second to open that. Sorry, he does this all the time. We’ve had more than one black eye on the team from a drunken Kasey drink bomb.”

Finn chuckled. “No worries. Thanks for the save.”

Leo brightened adorably. “It’s my job!”

“And you are absolutely INCREDIBLE at it my friend!” A pair of arms wrapped around Leo’s neck from behind and a slightly buzzed and very excited James appeared over his shoulder. “MVP of the game, my man! You killed it! We’re going to the play-offs, baby!”

He whooped as he ruffled Leo’s golden hair, still slightly damp from his post-game shower. Leo’s cheeks flushed a deep red as he accepted James’ fist bump. “I just played. Thank you though.”

“And he’s humble too! How are you still single dude? Someone should have scooped you up ages ago.”

Leo’s cheeks somehow turned even deeper red as he shot a quick look up at Finn, and Finn heard Lily’s amused voice as she slid in from behind them, wrapping an arm around James’ waist and pulling him off of Leo. “Leave the poor guy alone James. He just wants to celebrate in peace.”

Leo smiled gratefully at Lily, looking relieved when Kasey and Natalie returned to the kitchen, Talker in tow. Leo jumped into their conversation as the group of them settled in around the room, talking and laughing above the music playing from the built-in speakers. Finn held back for a moment, taking the opportunity to scan the living room from where him and Leo were leaning against the kitchen island. He caught a glimpse of familiar dark curls under a snapback, and Logan’s eyes met his from across the room. Logan grinned, excusing himself from a conversation with Remus and heading towards them.

“Hey,” Logan’s breath was warm on Finn’s cheek as he leaned in to be heard over the voices in the room. “How did you like the game?”

Finn fought to keep his heart from beating out of his chest. He was still reeling from his decidedly unwelcome epiphany earlier that evening, and it was going to be a long night if he couldn’t get a handle on himself soon. He cleared his throat, looking straight ahead instead of turning to meet Logan’s gaze. “It was the most stressful few hours of my entire life. I’m never doing it again.” He winced at the way his voice cracked. Traitorous voice box. “And for the record, you are NOT a ‘perfectly reasonable player’.”

Logan tilted his head back and laughed openly at that. Finn let himself look then. Despite everything, it was nice to see him so relaxed and happy.

“Well, I’m glad you at least came to this one. Even if you judge me.”

He leaned back next to Finn, shoulders brushing, and Finn watched as he scanned the room. A moment later, a glint appeared in shorter boy’s eye, his smile turning mischievous. Finn turned to follow his gaze, looking for what had prompted the change. He caught sight of James, still in his game jersey, and Lily, laughingly trying her best to get him to take it off.

He heard Logan call out to them. “Hey Pots! Did you hear your jerseys are only the third most popular on the Lion’s shop now?”

James froze, turning to them with his eyes wide. “What?”

He rounded on Logan. “Who told you that? Who beat me?” His expression turned to outrage. “Who could possibly have beaten me?!”

Finn held back a laugh at James reaction, letting out a loud cough instead. One that sounded very suspiciously like the word ‘bullshit’. He heard Leo do the exact same beside him and turned to catch his eye with a grin and a high-five. The two of them had made a game over the past few months of seeing who could catch Logan the fastest when he started his game of poking the bear- something that was hilarious to them and endlessly irritating to Logan.

Right on cue, Logan let out an exasperated noise. “Guys! You are no fun! Stop doing that!”

James’ head twisted back and forth between Logan and Finn as he pieced it together. “Wait… what??” He gasped at Logan, looking betrayed. “Tremz! Did you make that up? How could you! You almost gave me a heart attack on this glorious evening!”

Logan shot a mock glare at Leo and Finn, but his face cracked into a grin when he turned back to James. “You should have seen your face.”

James looked like he was about to respond, but at just that moment, a familiar beat started to play over the speakers. Someone in the living room cheered and turned up the volume, and James whooped, throwing his hands in the air. Finn smirked as he followed suit, pushing away from the counter to join him in the middle of the room.

---

Logan

Logan frowned when Finn stepped away from him- he liked feeling his warmth against his side. He watched as Finn moved after James, turning to look back at Logan and grinning as he sang along to the lyrics of the song now playing loudly through the house. Logan loved Finn’s singing voice. He smiled back and was about to go join him when something weird caught his attention, making him do a double take.

It wasn’t unusual for Finn to jump into the middle of a room to give a performance of a song. He did it all the time. At home, at the club, at parties. It was quintessential Finn behaviour.

But now, the entire rest of the room was joining him. Every single one of his friends had abandoned their conversations to chant along with the opening lyrics of this song Logan had never heard before. Logan’s brow furrowed in confusion as he spun around to look behind him. The living room was the same, everyone starting to move away from the walls and stand from the couches. Only Leo had stayed where he was, a few feet away from Logan.

“What the hell?” He muttered.

He turned back around to question Finn, only to find him no longer looking his way. Instead, he was now face to face with Talker in the middle of the room, the two of them rapping dramatically to one another. Logan lifted an eyebrow, letting out a short, surprised laugh as he watched the two of them.

“I’ma get a scholarship to King’s College,

I probably shouldn’t brag,

But dag, I amaze and astonish”

The rest of the room was still singing along. It was beyond weird. “What. The fuck. Is happening?” Logan asked nobody in particular.

The rhythm of the song slowed a bit, and Finn turned back toward Leo and Logan, sliding smoothly over in front of them. His brown eyes sparkled as his gaze locked with Logan’s, singing directly to him.

“I’m a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of coal

Tryin’ to reach my goal, my power of speech, unimpeachable”

Logan leaned closer to Leo, his only ally in this insanity, but Finn had pointed dramatically to the younger boy and Leo laughed, stepping away from the counter and picking up the lyrics from the next line, pointing at himself as he sang:

“Only nineteen but my mind is older

These New York City streets get colder, I shoulder

Every burden, every disadvantage I have learned to manage…”

Logan shot a surprised glare at Leo. Traitor. And now Finn was singing along again, and both of them were pointing at him, waiting for him to pick up the next line but Logan truly, truly had no idea what this was.

Finn looked at him with mock outrage when he realized Logan wasn’t faking his ignorance, straightening his back as he lifted his hands in a very ‘what the heck?’ sort of gesture.

Logan started to roll his eyes, but then all of a sudden, the beat changed again, and Finn’s hands were by his head and he was walking backward, winding his hips in a way that Logan had never seen him move before. A way that should be illegal.

His eyes were still locked on Logan’s, but where they had been filled with humour a moment ago, now they were burning with something intense that was sending Logan into a complete tailspin.

“I am the AL-EX-AN-D-ER, we are, meant to be.”

His emotions were already running high after their win, and now Finn was standing in front of him, moving like that, looking at him like that. He heard himself let out a shaky breath and snapped his jaw shut, swallowing hard and jerking his eyes away from Finn, desperate for something else to focus on. His gaze landed on Leo, right next to him, which was not better.

Leo. He could see his toned chest through the fitted t-shirt he was wearing, and he wanted to reach out and touch. Fuck.

He could feel all the walls he had built up over the past four months crumbling down around him, and he started to panic. He was supposed to be getting over his feelings for Leo. Not growing them. Not adding Finn into the mix.

His breathing sped up. How was he this gone, for both of them? Was that even possible??

Pull it together Tremblay. He tried to talk himself down. Leo was his teammate. They were both his friends- friends like he had never had before. Those walls were there for a good fucking reason. He didn’t want to risk them.

He took a deep breath in through his nose, straightening his spine and pushing his shoulders back. He could do this. He looked back up and watched as Finn crooked a finger at him, calling him in to dance with them. The same way they always did when they were out together. His face was open and happy again. He just looked like normal Finn now. This was familiar. He could do this. The song kept playing.

“Hey yo I’m just like my country

I’m young, scrappy and hungry

And I’m not throwing away my, shot!”

He took one step closer, and… nope. It would appear he could not, in fact, do this. He couldn’t handle familiar right now. He was buzzed, and high on adrenaline from the game, and this song was in his bones and if he was going to get himself out of this spiral, he needed to be away from the boys that were causing it.

He shook his head at Finn and forced a tight smile, watching him shrug his acceptance and turn to James instead. Logan turned to head over to where Sirius was stood in the corner of the living room, the only other person who looked as bewildered as he was by the scene. He had barely taken a step before a long arm wrapped around his shoulders from behind, pulling in him close to the strong chest he was trying to run away from. He closed his eyes, feeling his body tense as Leo’s low voice sounded in his ear, his skin warm against Logan’s own. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as Leo sang, off-key as usual, in some sort of horrible French accent.

“I dream of life without a monarchy

The unrest in France will lead to ‘onarchy?

Onarchy? How you say, how you, oh, anarchy?

When I fight I make the other side panicky with my, shot!”

It was hilarious, but feeling Leo this close to him right now, in this moment, was overload. It took everything he had to pull out of Leo’s grasp, grabbing his wrist and spinning underneath him. He stood on his tiptoes to let Leo spin too, and then gently shoved him back toward Finn. He knew Leo would assume he was following, so he turned back to the living room and slid into place next to Sirius.

He stood there, watching Nado and Kuny—how the hell did even Kuny know this song??—singing drunkenly on top of the couch, and tried to will his heart into submission.

After a few moments, Sirius’ voice sounded next to him. “Do you have any idea what this is?”

Logan shook his head, glancing over. “Non. But apparently we should be looking into it.”

Sirius just nodded, looking at him. Logan liked this about Sirius. He was quiet, and he didn’t mind if people were quiet around him. He always seemed to know when Logan needed a minute. He guessed that’s what made him a good captain. Logan felt calmer just being beside him. The two of them stood together in silence for a few minutes, until the whole house broke out into a chorus of ‘whoa’’s, and Sirius glanced over at him again. “You ok?”

“I’ll be better once this fucking song ends. How long is this thing?”

Sirius laughed at that, agreeing, and Logan felt his confidence coming back. He felt safer there, in the corner, watching Finn and Leo from afar. The distance had at least allowed his heart to stop pinging around his chest like a goddamn pinball machine. He was feeling, if not completely back in control, at least much more so than before.

“I’m good, Cap.” He meant it.

Sirius’ eyes were on his. “Ok. You know I’m here though, if you need me.”

“I know.” He shot Sirius a grateful smile. “Thanks, Sirius. Really.”

Sirius nodded, turning away as the song finally ended. Someone switched over to a dance playlist, and the living room turned into a de facto dance floor. Logan and Sirius stayed where they were for another song, until everyone else seemed to be either dancing, or involved in a game of what looked like Spoons at the dining room table. Logan drained the last of his rum and coke and turned to Sirius as he pushed off the wall toward the now empty kitchen. “I’m going to get another drink. You want anything?”

“No thanks. I’m good.” Sirius responded quietly, his expression soft. Logan followed his gaze over to where Loops was dancing with Lily and smiled. He clapped Sirius on the shoulder. “Ok, Cap. Have fun.”

---

A few shots and nearly an hour later, Logan was feeling as close to normal as he figured he would be able to pull off that night, teaching the Hoedown Throwdown choreography to a very enthusiastic Leo and Finn as someone’s country playlist blasted through the house. The team’s excitement for their freshly earned play-off spot had rubbed off on him again over the past hour, and he was enjoying himself, even if he was still a bit on edge.

It only took a few songs for them to ace the dance, and after they killed it to some song about chicken and tractors that Finn had sang every single word to, there was a break in the music while Nat and Talker argued over who got to choose next. They took the opportunity to their breath.

“Well, since we’re waiting anyway, I’m going to go grab another drink.” Finn swiped a hand through his sweat-tousled hair and looked between Logan and Leo. “Do you want anything?”

Leo shook his head, eyes bright against his dance-flushed cheeks. “No thanks. I think I’m done drinking for the night. We have a team meeting early tomorrow I don’t want to be hungover for.”

Logan still had half a drink in his hand, so Finn took off to the kitchen and left the two of them to discuss who they could drag into their next dance, which Finn had decided for reasons Logan didn’t understand, to try and learn as a square instead of a triangle.

A new song finally started to play as they scanned the room, and as the beat came across the speakers, Logan recognized it with a frustrated groan.

Wicked Games. One of the few songs that he used to have multiple versions of on his playlist. A song that he had had to take off said playlist, because it got him in his head about Finn and Leo.

Of course someone would put this song on right when he had gotten his shit back together. Of fucking course.

He took a long drink from his glass and looked up at Leo, who was still looking around the room for participants. He watched as the colour-changing living room lighting lit up the taller boy’s face: blue, then green, then orange.

“The world was on fire, and no one could save me but you”

Leo glanced over at him, and then did a double take, turning to fully face him. He scanned Logan’s face, eyebrows furrowing as concern flashed through his warm blue eyes. Logan sighed through his nose. Fucking Knutty. He always knew.

“And I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you”

When Logan didn’t make a move to explain anything, Leo just nodded and took a step back.

“You know what?” he started. “Let’s just do it as three. Finn’ll get over it. I don’t want to dance with anyone else right now.”

Logan knew Leo was only saying it for his sake. But he couldn’t be bothered to try and pretend he was down for an audience right now, so he just nodded and stepped into what would be his place in the triangle when Finn came back. Leo turned to assess the space around them, and Logan let himself watch again. He never got sick of looking at Leo. Kind, thoughtful, annoyingly perceptive, beautiful Leo. The lyrics of the song repeated, over and over.

“No I, don’t wanna fall in love, with you.”

“I think we’re going to need more room. Or someone’s going to get hurt.” Leo mused as he looked at the floor around them, trying to work out the logistics of the coordinated drunk jumping that was going to happen. One of his curls fell over his eyes. Logan resisted the urge to reach up and move it away.

“What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you”

Logan’s chest twisted and he pulled his gaze away. Fuck this song. He was going to kill Talkie for this. He could feel himself taking a nose-dive back to where he had been earlier that evening. Why couldn’t he shake these feelings tonight? He could always shake them. He was a master at shaking off feelings. This was ridiculous.

He decided to look for something they could push out of the way for more space, to give himself something to focus on. That was a task he could do.

But before he could move, a pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind, the weight of a full-grown hockey player landing on his back and making him stumble forward. Pots’ voice was teasing in his ear. “Wicked Game is right, hey Tremzy??”

Logan’s breath caught in his throat as he froze in place, half bent over trying to regain his balance. Had Pots noticed? Was he being obvious?

“W-what?” he choked out.

James pulled him up and spun around him until they were face to face, his grin lopsided and his eyes a little glazed from the drinks he had clearly been celebrating with. “Wicked Game! Because you played a wicked game! Get it!? You got us the game winner, Tremz.” He looked wobbly on his feet, smiling dreamily. “You got us to the playoffs.”

Relief flooded Logan’s system. He hadn’t noticed. Nobody noticed. It was fine.

It didn’t feel fine.

“Oh. Ya, I guess.” He forced a little laugh.

“Come, my baby Canadian.” James bowed toward him, extending a hand. “I owe you this dance for getting me one step closer to my baby bathing in the cup.”

“Shut up, Pots.” Logan turned as an annoyed voice sounded behind them. Sirius, the inventor of superstition himself, walked by and smacked James gently upside the head. “Knock on wood. Now.”

“Ow,” James grumbled, rubbing his head and knocking on the doorframe he watched Sirius walk through, “how does he do that? It’s like he has a seventh sense for bad luck.”

Logan prayed James would follow Sirius away. But instead he just grinned and shoved Logan toward the center of the dance floor.

Logan did not want to be there anymore. James had freaked him out, and the stupid song was still playing. For the second time that night he wished he knew where the fucking skip button was located in this ridiculously oversized house.

Logan grabbed James’ arm and pulled him to a stop, leaning into him to prevent him going further. He turned on his best fake smile. “Hey Pots. I know I got the goal, but do you know who you really owe this dance to?”

James looked at him suspiciously. “Who?”

“Leo. We wouldn’t have won without his unreal performance tonight. You should get him first.”

James gasped. “You are right, Tremblay. Ok. I will get him first. But I will be back for you! Don’t move!”

Logan watched James wobble backward across the living room, shooting finger guns back at Logan until he crashed into a very amused-looking Leo.

When Logan figured the two of them were engaged enough to not notice him leaving, he slipped off in search of a quiet place to hang out for a while. He found a dark hallway off the end of the dining room and slid down to sit on the hardwood floor. His hands were shaking again as he pulled out his phone and opened the group chat he had with his sisters.

He missed his sisters. He hadn’t told them about his feelings for either of the boys—for any boy, really—but he knew that if he messaged them, they would talk him down without prying. And that was what he wanted right now. He shot off a simple, ‘you guys awake?’ message, and waited for the reply.

---

Leo

Leo was wandering around the main floor of Sirius’ house, looking for Logan. He was worried about him. Logan had been on edge all night, keeping his distance and forcing smiles that didn’t reach his eyes. Leo could tell he was trying to hide something, and after catching the way he had looked at Finn in the kitchen earlier, it wasn’t hard to guess what that something was.

He had been watching Logan and Finn dance around each other, figuratively and literally, for months now. It was hard, watching these boys—these boys that made him ache with how each of them had burrowed their way into his soul—watch each other. It made him feel like he was drowning.

He had told himself when he came to Gryffindor that he was here for hockey, that he wasn’t going to get involved with anyone. Get attached to anyone. But here he was, the world’s biggest idiot, falling head over heels for not one, but two of the literal worst possible people to fall for. His home roommate and his travel roommate. Both, to the best of his knowledge, very closeted. Both very interested in someone else. Both very interested in each other. It was a bit of a disaster.

But disaster or not, Leo wasn’t going to let Logan feel like he was alone tonight. He knew firsthand how much support from the people who love you mattered, even if you weren’t ready to talk about it yet.

He poked his head into the kitchen and found Finn, looking deep in conversation with Natalie, but Logan wasn’t with him. He was a bit concerned about Finn, too. He also seemed a bit off this evening, and he never had come back from his last drink break. But Finn was safe with Natalie for now, so Logan was his priority for the moment.

He checked a few more rooms before he caught a glimpse of Logan’s ever-present snapback out of the corner of his eye. He was sitting on the floor in the dark end of an empty hallway, the glow from his phone screen lighting up his face.

Leo moved cautiously toward him, and when he didn’t look up, slid to the floor to sit next to him.

“Hey.” He offered softly.

Logan looked up at him with a small, fleeting smile, his usually bright green eyes looking tired. “Hey.”

Leo scanned his face, trying to decide whether Logan wanted to talk. “What are you up to?”

“Just texting my sisters.”

Leo nodded, understanding, and looked away, giving Logan the chance to go back to his phone if he wanted to. Logan looked back down at the screen and typed out a final message before clicking the screen off and shoving it back in his pocket.

They sat quietly next to each other for a few minutes, just listening to the music. After a while, Logan broke the silence.

“It’s crazy that we’re heading to the playoffs.” He said quietly.

That made Leo smile a bit. He looked back over at Logan. “You played incredible tonight.” He said sincerely. “All season, really. I think we earned it.”

Logan’s lips quirked up a bit at the compliment. “Thanks, Nutty. We really did.”

They fell back into their comfortable silence, sitting shoulder to shoulder and watching what they could see of the dining room down the hall. In the lights of the party, Pots and Sirius were teasing Remus about something they couldn’t hear. Remus blushed a deep red and Sirius laughed as he pulled him in for a kiss.

“We’re really lucky.” Leo said, hoping that Logan knew he wasn’t just talking about the game anymore. When Logan didn’t respond, he looked over to see him pulling at the seams of his jeans, looking like he might be on the verge of tears. The sight pulled at Leo’s chest. He wanted to take Logan’s face in his hands and wipe away that look forever.

But he knew that wasn’t what Logan wanted. So instead he stood, holding out a hand to the shorter boy. He would be here for him in whatever way Logan needed. “You wanna get another drink? Or are you ready to head out?”

Logan looked up at him with reddened eyes, and Leo’s heart felt like it was breaking with every beat. And when Logan put his hand in his and the sparks flooded over his whole body, Leo closed his eyes and willed them away.

---

#sweater weather lumosinlove #o'knutzy #lumosinlove #Coast To Coast

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puppy-phum · 3 years

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get to know me

am going to mix these two different tag games into one post so thank you a lot for tagging me @jazthespazz and @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥

it’s somehow funny to do these same games again after a while so let’s see what I come up with:

Part I

name: real name petra but i prefer vish/vishie over here ^^

pronouns: she/her

star sign: aries ♈

height: 178cm (which am coming more and more proud of while i realize how damn tall every cdrama actor is lol)

time: 10:37pm as am answering this one

birthday: 10th april!

nationality: finnish

fave bands/groups: ah well this is always a hard question but let’s go with these: BTS, DAY6, OneRepublic, Hurts, Oneus, Hoppipolla, TXT, Red, Mamamoo

fave solo artists: (forgive me if i’ve assumed any of these wrong) Novo Amor, Talos, Crywolf, Liu Yuning, SYML, EDEN, PVRIS, Joker Xue, NF, Halsey, Sleeping At Last, Nuz, HyunA, Sam Smith, Taemin

song stuck in your head: it’s OneRepublic’s Rescue Me bc of the song tag game i did earlier today :’D that one always gets stuck in my head whenever i as much as see the title lol

last movie you watched: i think it’s The Yin-Yang Master (2021)? I haven’t watched any movies after that bc am so busy with all of my dramas haha

last show you binged: i think binged would be The Journey Across the Night! I watched that as a whole in 4 days

when you created your blog: in 2013

the last thing you googled: ummm i think it was “what is a ball of wool called” bc of fic purposes haha as a non native speaker i always get a bit lost with words like this

other blogs: none, i just dump everything here like the idiot i am

why i chose my url: dates back to my intense summer of binge reading J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Vishous was my favorite of the brothers haha. i first used this username in some random game on my nintendo ds lol

how many people are you following: 358 which somehow feels like a lot but also like way too few?? i should probably search for some new blogs with other topics than cql, bts and/or dmbj bc i do love a lot of things at once

how many followers do you have: over 800

average hours of sleep: i’d say around 7h

lucky numbers: i remember answering 5 previously? i don’t really have a lucky number but 5 pops into my head

instruments: nope, no. not touching those tyvm. i admire everyone who can play any instrument tho

what i’m currently wearing: black jeans, socks with foxes on them (plus my woolly socks), a gray cardigan (my fave thing ever!) and an orange/brown top

dream job: writer would be ideal but that is very faaaaar into the dream zone

dream trip: around different parts of asia to taste all the amazing food ;; maybe a road trip of sorts through europe? or inter railing? another trip to london bc i miss that ;; a trip to the very northern part of lapland to see all the auroras etc! i’ve never been that far north :’D

fave food: if i need to quickly name something then sushi. otherwise am pretty fine with anything spicy

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: i remember thinking about this a lot the last time i answered this but hmm. currently i’d say dmbj still bc that world is fascinating AND i would love to talk to the characters. mass effect would be the second one currently bc i miss those games and the space stuff is super cool! and the third one would be assassin’s creed rogue bc that is my fave ac game and i like the northern sea and the places in it AND i could probably be one of abstergo’s employees instead and just test/play those simulation games haha

Part II

Last Song: am currently listening to my playlist with just everything so i have Andrew Belle’s The Enemy playing right now (also I only just now realized that Andrew Belle also sings Pieces which is one of my fave songs? my bff linked that to me after it played in some tv series she was watching)

Last Movie Last Stream: i didn’t want to mention the same movie again or skip this question and i’ve wanted to talk about this anyway so! i watched Liu Chang’s bday live last night :’D it was so much fun even if i couldn’t understand anything. it was just nice to watch him being himself and have fun and chill with his fans. also the songs were amazing ;; i cried with Liu Sang’s character song as well as the ending. and all the while i couldn’t turn my gaze away from his eyes! he has such pretty eyes and they were absolutely Sparkling throughout the whole stream, it was so nice :’)

Currently Reading: Devotions by Mary Oliver (i adore her poems! they’re a very nice change after Siken haha) and then some uni stuff for a course about culture and mental health plus my thesis

Currently Watching: Douluo Continent, Word of Honor, The Long Ballad

all of these are amazing and make me feel different things! i started Douluo Continent just a while ago and am now on ep 16 i think? it’s been very pretty and very chill and i watch it during the weekend while i wait for new episodes to the other two :’D it’s nice to see Xiao Zhan again and i’ve enjoyed the rpg game type of feeling in it? the group of seven is doing amazing and it’s interesting to watch them craft their team work! Word of Honor again has reached the ending and i just hold my breath with it. am not too far gone with it so i am not getting as heavy feelings about it as i probably could but i enjoy it alot still and i do cry at times ^^ and then The Long Ballad has just blown me away! i didn’t expect to love it this much and be this invested in it but everything about it has been such a positive surprise and it keeps making me super emotional! i love the characters and the story and the romances even! it’s a great accomplishment for me. also yes i cry on the daily bc of hao du and bc of ashile sun’s hair haha

(i am also rewatching Ultimate Note kind of and been thinking about getting into rewatching Reboot bc it has been on my list ever since i finished it)

What is antipoetry to you: okay hmm i had to google this too and have to agree with Kiddo here. i don’t have strong feelings about poetry tbh, i wasn’t into poetry that much before maybe a bit over year ago? Siken has really blown me away haha. but i have always loved song lyrics which i never thought as poetry but then Kiddo said to me that they consider them poetry and yeah ok. i agree? so idk poetry can be whatever i suppose. i’ve never seen any rules in it anyway. i know there are many rules for different types of poetry but then again. i feel like poetry has always been just words put together to feel things and i guess that is the core purpose of every written type of art in the end right?

Currently craving: a drama as good and as personal as The Journey Across the Night. that show really just stole my heart and i want that feeling back. i think about that show every day. i miss Li Jia and his two partners. i miss the vibes. i miss sitting on my floor watching it and just sobbing my heart out haha. also! craving a properly subbed, whole version of Anti-Fraud League. only the first 12 eps are badly subbed out there. wetv has... blocked? deleted? the whole show??? i need it to my life, i wanna see Xiao Yuliang being cute as Mi Ruo and i wanna know where the story goes smh

thank you so much for these both! i had fun ^^ also am sorry this is so long but haha if you’re asking me to talk about myself and my interests then this is what you get :)

tagging (to do which ever part you want or both!): @cross-d-a @jockvillagersonly @humanlighthouse @kholran @xcziel @minmoyu and @leonzhng ♥

#tag game #this was so much fun ok #also yes am an emotional mess #especially when it comes to liu chang/liu sang #and if anyone has any knowledge #about anti-fraud league #then am all ears???#thank you for tagging me!!

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voxofthevoid · 4 years

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Taking It Up The Ass Isn’t Character Growth - A Rant

So, in response to an ask a while back, I said I had a rant brewing on fandom and sex positions, and well, a lot of you wanted to see it, so here you go. You literally asked for it.

Disclaimer: This is going to talk a lot about top/bottom roles in slash fic and fandom attitude towards them and is heavily filtered through the lens of my own tastes and experiences with fandom. I’d also like to be upfront that I am 100% in favor of people writing whatever fictional content they want, and it’s not what fandom does with characters that bothers me but rather how that translates into attitudes towards real, live people. Also, this is the essay version of a slow burn AU because I regurgitate my entire fandom history before getting to the point. Beware.

I discovered fan-fiction around a decade ago, had no clue what the hell it was, got hooked and dived deeper. I started participating in fandom circa 2013, and I was fairly young and also completely inexperienced both sexually and romantically. The fandom in question was Hannibal and my ship of choice was Hannibal/Will. It was/is a very chill fandom in general, but we had our drama. And chief among the contentious topics was—you guessed it—the top/bottom debate. I can’t actually remember any other topic that was discussed and argued for so ardently in that fandom, at least in those days. Even after I drifted away, I came across a few posts on the matter.

Generally, you had two camps—people who supported strict roles and those who were in favor of switching*. And because we’re a society plagued by illogical assumptions, the strict role camp mostly had people who thought Mr. Big Bad Cannibal in the Fancy Suits wouldn’t take it up the ass because he’s older, more experienced, more mentally stable, and of course, more ‘dominant’ in personality. Yes, that sentence is chock full of problematic shit. I am aware. Lots of people were aware and argued strongly against attributing top/bottom roles to personality. I don’t remember anyone arguing as enthusiastically for Top Will, but those voices were also there. But the general idea was that assigning strict top/bottom roles to a male/male couple was casting them in a heterosexual mold and thus, the progressive option was to make them switch. Strict roles also garnered comparisons to “yaoi” and uke/seme stereotypes, which was of course bad and fetishizing and we, the Western media fans, of course had to do better. Stealth racism is fun to untangle.

Anyway, I lapped up the woke juice. Partly because I was a baby queer from Buttfuck Nowhere, Asia, who had zero exposure to LGBT+ communities and what queer folks did with each other. Partly because it was the stance taken by most of my favorite writers so it seemed like a good position to emulate.

Emulate it I did. Most discussions I had about this happened in private with the handful of close friends I had in fandom. Where it really showed was in my writing. I made sure to write switching—maybe not in every fic, but then I alternated between fics. Thing is though, I did have a preference. I liked Top Will. I created and consumed a ton of Top Hannibal, and sometimes it was okay, sometimes it was not, but I couldn’t pinpoint why it made me uncomfortable. Back then, I thought I was a cis questioning/bi girl and once again, the impression I got was that not being MLM, having a preference was automatic fetishization. So I tried my best to justify my preferences, to my friends at least. I think what I said was that fandom was skewed towards Top Hannibal, and I liked the opposite because I’m a contrary fuck. Which I am, to be fair, but this was just me desperately trying to figure shit out without being offensive.

That’s the line I touted all the way until 2018, which was when I fucked off to grad school in A City, finally freed of Buttfuck Nowhere and able to actually date. At this point, I was settled in my sexuality (girls only) and questioning my gender (non-binary or trans guy). I had also tentatively figured out during undergrad that I’m an exclusive top and a Dom. Actual attempts at dating cemented that, yes, those are my preferences, about as flexible as a steel rod. Cue motherfucking epiphany over my fanfic tastes.

And see, over these years, I was engaging intermittently with fandom. I dutifully wrote switch couples. I also continued to have rigid tastes and continued to explain it away as being a contrary fuck—to be fair, until Steve/Bucky, my preference did seem to be the opposite of the larger fandom preference. But correlation, as we know, isn’t causation. Until Steve/Bucky, I continued to write versatile couples because I honestly didn’t have the guts to just say I liked it just one way. I do now but even then, I feel compelled to add that it’s because I want to see my own taste reflected in fic, so I write/read the character I relate to as a top, it's not that deep etc. Would I be as forthright if I didn’t have that reason? Would I have such strict preferences in fic if I didn’t have strict preferences IRL? The latter’s a mystery, but the former isn’t—I wouldn’t be because fandom is still entrenched in the same ideas that got me to this point to begin with.

In every fandom I’ve been in, I’ve seen some version of this debate go around. Sometimes, it’s one party saying “why would you write Character X as a bottom, he’s so Reason A” and a reblog chain that insults the OP and/or extols the virtues of switching. Sometimes, it’s a general-ish message that says they don’t understand why people have strict preferences when we all know real gay couples switch. Sometimes, it’s blanket statements that accuse anyone with preferences of fetishizing. Sometimes, it’s the same reasoning that gets you “Character Y is a top because of Reason B” transposed on versatile couples except this takes the form of “they switch because they’re equals.”

Ya’ll, I’m fucking tired.

I have long since lost count of the number of stories I’ve seen where an exclusive top learning bottom and liking it is character growth. Where a character who prefers to bottom taking a turn on top is empowering.

Isolated, these are fine. But I’ve seen enough of such stories that it’s distinctly discomfiting and a major squick. Sometimes a trigger, if I'm too immersed in the story. I’m not going to try and burn an author at the stake because they pissed me off. I am just going to close that window and quietly handle my shit. People can write whatever they want. But this one theme hits too close to home, as you can see from this 1.6k rant.

My friend (also my ex-girlfriend) and I had an all-out bitching session about this the other day. Both of us are kinky fuckers who have rigid, complementary roles we prefer and we have both had our grueling days of struggling to reconcile our sexual tastes with our ideologies precisely because of how these things are frowned upon in conservative and progressive circles. Seeing that in fandom, of all places, is both insulting and exhausting. Topping and bottoming aren’t personality traits. Neither is D/s. It’s sexual preference and power play. It really does not have to be that deep. I am not exorcising childhood trauma using the bodies of women. My partners, former and current, have not been brainwashed by the patriarchy. We will not become better, more complete individuals once I magically stop being a stone top and my partners embrace the joys of a strap-on.

I have, with my own two eyes, seen someone say that in a really committed relationship, of course the couple will switch.

Bullshit.

It’s transparent bullshit. This does not get attributed to cisgender M/F couples. Even when the automatic assumptions of woman = bottom and man = top get addressed, switching isn't presented as the default. No one’s saying “oh, if you really love your husband, you’ll peg him”. I do know butch/femme sapphic couples get their own share of shit. Because it’s all heteronormativity, right? Can’t have any other reason for top/bottom roles.

You have two extremes with “so who’s the woman” on one end and “it’s woke only if they switch” on the other, and as far as I’m concerned, they’re equally damaging. There shouldn’t be a pressure, however subtle, to conform your taste in fiction to some arbitrary idea of progressiveness. People are going to like whatever they want anyway; all this does is create an atmosphere where those likes can’t always be freely expressed without a lot of mental gymnastics. We’re seeing so many versions of this in the pushback against so-called problematic content, but smaller, subtler versions exist too.

Fictional characters aren’t real. They can be whatever you want them to be. And yes, other people will often want them to be the exact opposite of your ideas, but that’s just how things work. Meanwhile, the people behind these usernames? They’re real. No one should be throwing real people under the bus to ‘protect’ characters that don’t exist. Hannibal Lecter doesn’t care whether he gets fucked or dismembered in Author B’s fanfiction, but the discourse that surrounds the dick up his ass? That does affect flesh and blood people.

I am not claiming that this is the only attitude in fandom. Middlegrounds do exist. Plenty of people abide by fic and let fic and there are folks who pipe up to say not every RL queer couple switches. But it’s often the extremes that reach most people. That was certainly my experience, and I’m not the only one.

I don’t really know how to end this post. It is 100% a rant and one that’s been building up for a while. Bottom line is that people’s sexual behavior varies wildly and whenever you attack sexual tastes in fanfic by saying it’s unrealistic - or worse because let’s be real, that’s a very tame word choice - please remember that there’s likely someone out there who practices it.

* I’m using switch and versatile synonymously in this post. It’s mostly concerned with top/bottom debates. A lot of what I’m saying is also echoed in portrayals of and discussions surrounding D/s dynamics, but I’m not addressing that as much for now.

#fandom #top bottom discourse #wow that's a tag #here it is the rant i promised #because i don't quite trust tumblr i feel compelled to add that this is ofc not some kind of attack on actual people who switch either #you do you man #live your best life #vox has opinions

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thelovelyghostwriter · 3 years

Note

1, 5, and 16!

1. “Why did you choose your URL?”

Numbkid started out as my fanfic username on fanfiction.net when I was 11 years old, where I first wrote my very first Conan/Ai fanfic. Hence, why I had the “kid” in my username even though I’m now an adult. I stuck with the name though because I was quite identifiable through this username as a Conan/Ai writer.

When I first created Wattpad and Tumblr later on, the “Numbkid” username was already used. Therefore, I stick to “thelegitnumbkid” but yeah, now I’m thinking of switching to “thelovelyghostwriter” like my Instagram username.

5. “Why did you start your blog in the first place”

Actually, I was just curious about Tumblr, but didn’t know how to use it or connect with others.

Originally, it was just connected to my old Instagram account to post and ship Conan/Ai and other random things. However, I grew tired of Detective Conan and after my last fanfic, I decided to not use it.

Until I fell in love with the Hiei/Botan ship in 2018 and found out that some of the Yu Yu Hakusho fans are active here.

Then, I forgot about it again since I got busy in university and forgot about fanfic writing for a while.

Recently in November 2020 last year, I came across @anotherworldash post about KuraNeon Marriage Theory after being in another hxh obsession (been obsessed with this series for years). I had always liked KuraNeon ever since I first watched hxh but I had always thought it was crack. In fact, I was disappointed that not many people talk about this ship and I was forever frustrated that there was not enough KuraNeon content. So imagine how happy I was when I found like-minded people who happens to love KuraNeon and the fact that perhaps, it isn’t as crack as I thought it would be.

I also came to like and appreciate Neon as a character more. I had always seen shallow interpretations of her being a brat and I never really looked into her role in the story because there wasn’t anyone who liked or bother enough to analyse her. Heck, even the most famous hxh youtube analysts don’t have an analysis of her as a character in the YorkNew arc. But after pondering and seeing a few tumblr posts about her, I think I really came to understand why she’s the way that she is and how it juxtaposes to Kurapika/Chrollo.

At the same time, I was beginning to read the current hxh manga arc and really deeply like Kurapika as my favourite (Killua used to be my all-time favourite as a teen). You can say I’m a simp for Kurapika now and the more I understand his character, the more I like him.

Ever since then, I started to really like these two characters and actively ship them; as compared to just liking the ship passively years back. I was also really happy to make friends with people from the hxh fandom who has the same shipping taste (because ships like KuraNeon, Tserriednich/Theta may be frowned upon for whatever reasons). HxH is my all-time favourite series, but for multiple reasons, I couldn’t really connect with fans and now I think I found my little space in the KuraNeon sub-fandom where I can just be myself and be expressive with what I like.

I also found my love for fanfic writing again since I stopped writing for Detective Conan fanfics. Back then last year, there wasn’t a lot of KuraNeon fanfics and I’m really happy that I’m making my own and seeing an increase of fanfics from other writers.

So yes, this blog used to be inactive but it’s now plagued with KuraNeon content and links to KuraNeon fanfics. I think for now, at least, this would be the purpose of the blog. It’s also nice to just reblog stuff randomly.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes! Please tag me in some games whenever you like! I may not participate in it but I love doing random tag games whenever I’m bored.

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atiny-orbit1219 · 4 years

Text

Internet Connection

*Pairing: Idol Johnny Suh

*Genre: Fluff (There isn’t enough Johnny fluff these days, y’all some horny bitches)

*Plot idea: Most idols do indeed have a private twitter account where they like to see what their fans are talking about and interact with them secretly. Johnny was one of those idols. He loved seeing what NCTzens were up to and found it flattering how many times they called him daddy and offered to let him choke them. One day as he was scrolling through his twitter feed he saw a tweet that caught his eye. “Who has the biggest dick?” in the poll list was his name, so he commented. “Johnny of course.”

*Word count: 3,600

*Warnings: Cussing, a lot of dick talk, so cliche like this could never happen

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Were you really going to post this? Is twitter fame really worth it? You were contemplating as you laid on the floor of your bedroom. Did you have a perfectly comfortable bed two inches away from you? Yes, yes you did, but you evoked your bed privileges as you typed up the tweet you knew would give you likes and comments but throw your morals out of the window. Your finger hovered over the large post button. You groaned, the hand clutching your phone falling to the ground. “I can’t.” you finally decided. It’s sexualizing men and as a feminist at heart, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. What if some fanboy asked “Who has the biggest tits?” well the answer is Jihyo but ethically it isn’t right. He’d have his account suspended within hours. Even if your account is slowly dying you shouldn’t stoop so low. You looked up at the ceiling, your free hand resting on your stomach. You let out the long breath you didn’t know you were holding, since when did you become so desperate for the validation of people you’ve never even met in real life, so what if your follower numbers went down? So what if you’re only averaging fifteen likes per tweet? “That’s right? Why does it matter? It doesn’t… totally doesn’t.” You say to yourself, attempting to convince the voice in your head that is telling you to post the poll.

Maybe your finger slipped. Maybe you did it on purpose, you don’t really remember, the only thing you can see is your phone buzzing rapidly as the twitter notifications start coming. Within hours your “Who has the biggest dick?” Poll became your most viral tweet to date. With the options being Lucas, Johnny, Mingyu, and Mingi it was safe to say the comments were heated and the votes were split. You hated the fact that you liked seeing the likes and comments go up, were you a bad person for posting? Or are the people on twitter bad for engaging? You spent the rest of the night on your hardwood floor, bobby pins and wires digging into your back, but you deserved it. You even refused to look at your walls, too ashamed to face the NCT posters that were hung up neatly. Ever since you decided to join stan twitter you promised yourself you wouldn’t become one of those accounts who post just for attention, you just wanted to make friends who had the same interests as you. You got your first taste of twitter fame when you made a joke about idols having private twitters and seeing the horny tweets dedicated to them and it soon became addicting after that. Now that thought sent shivers down your spine and you prayed it wasn’t real as you have just become one of those thirsty tweets. Even as you close your eyes to sleep you can’t help but ignore the constant buzzing that came from your phone next to you. After a few moments of considering putting it on do not disturb you finally decided that is the best option. You lift your phone up, but before you can slide up to the options screen you see a comment that catches your eye. ‘Hands down Johnny of course’.

You tap on the account that posted the comment, the layout was borning and the username basic, but this person didn’t follow you and you didn’t follow them. You just shrug and go back to the comment, smiling softly despite yourself as you typed. ‘I don’t know… Have you seen Lucas’s hands?’ Lucas was currently winning with the votes and you couldn’t disagree, it makes sense. Not even five minutes after you replied you were sent a DM request from none other than the mysterious Johnny dick defender. ‘I think you’re mistaken, Johnny is definitely winning in that category ;)’ You couldn’t help but laugh, your thumbs gliding across the keyboard as you typed your response. ‘You’re very passionate about this, where’s your proof?’ You asked, waiting for his reply. ‘I think you just have to trust me on this one’ You scoffed and started to type, ‘My mom told me not to trust strangers on the internet’

‘Your mom is a smart woman. What’s your name?’

‘What makes you think I’ll tell you?’

‘Didn’t you join twitter to make friends? I can’t be your friend if I don’t know your name.’

‘I joined twitter to talk to more K-pop fans, I’m sorry but your coffee layout and username isn’t cutting it’

‘There what about now.’

You tilted your head slightly wondering what he changed his layout to and you had to stifle your laughter when you saw it. An entire layout of predebut Johnny and the username @John’sbigpenis. You covered your mouth, keeping your quiet giggles in as you went back to the chat, typing quickly with one hand.

‘Y/N’

‘It’s nice to meet you Y/N’

And just like that, you spent almost the entire night texting, you figured out his name is Jason and he just casually listened to K-pop but his friends were really into it and because he followed them your tweet landed on his feed. He was funny and had you smiling for so long your cheeks started to hurt, you haven’t had a conversation like this on twitter in awhile all of the group chats you joined slowly drying up, so this was a nice change. But eventually it became harder and harder for you to keep your eyes open, the light from the screen not helping. You finally had to say good night to Jason and within seconds of shutting your phone off you passed out, not even feeling the discomfort of the floor anymore.

The next morning the first thing you did was check your DM’s and couldn’t help but smile as you saw the unread message. ‘Not to be a creep or anything but I looked at your location on your profile and looked up your timezone. Good morning :)’ You sat up slowly, the blanket you were using falling down your body, so he was in a different timezone? ‘What time is it for you then? Also good morning ;)’ As you awaited his response you finally got up from your spot on the floor and threw the blanket you were using on your bed. You walked to your wall blindly as you wiped the sleep from your eyes and flipped the switch causing light to fill your room. You sighed as you looked at your bed, contemplating just going back to sleep but you could also smell the breakfast your mom was making down stairs so you decided to manage your priorities, eat breakfast then go back to bed. After that important decision was made you made your way down stairs and as predicted saw your mom in the kitchen cooking away. You said your good mornings and lifted yourself up so you were sitting on the counter of the island. Your mom used to complain about your ass being where the food goes but after she saw that you didn’t care she slowly stopped as well. As you were sitting and chatting you felt your phone go off from your pocket, you grabbed it and smiled as you saw his user pop up. “What are you smiling about?” your mom asked curiously her eyes glancing over at you for a moment before going back to mixing the pancake batter. “Oh,nothing, just a friend on twitter.” You say your attention is still stuck to your phone as you read the message ‘I am a few hours ahead of you , I live in Chicago! Born and raised.’ You almost didn’t hear your mom speak, “Y/N… you know I don’t like you talking to strangers on the internet. What if they’re some forty year old man who just wants your feet pics.” You just nod, having had this conversation more than once. “Mommm you know I’m smarter than that… I’d make him pay for my feet first. But for real, this is the only way I can talk to other people who like the same stuff I do, unless you want to listen to me talk about K-pop for hours on end I need to get it out somehow.” You said, raising your eyebrow as you gave your mom the ultimatum. “Make your money honey, it's your feet not mine.” and with that you grabbed your plate and started to eat.

‘Ahhh so is that why you’re so defensive over Johnny’s penis? Gotta save the reputation of Chicago boys?’

Just like that you ended up talking to Jason everyday for weeks. From morning to night you two never seemed to run out of things to talk about. Soon he knew more about you than your close friends did; it was so easy to talk to him and he said he felt the same with you. He was there for you when you were having a mental breakdown while trying to get NCT 127 concert tickets, he was there while you screamed about how hot every member looked in the new Kick It music video, especially the man that brought them together, A.K.A Johnny Suh, he was there for everything. After awhile it was safe to say you were falling for him.. Well at least his personality, you haven’t seen his face. He’s seen yours of course as he hyped up all of your selca days, you respected the fact he didn’t want to show you his face but as time went on you couldn’t help but get a bit nervous. What if he really is a forty year old man only after your feet? But all of that soon changed.

‘You got P1 tickets to the Chicago concert right?’ You read the text that was sent to you and tilted your head curiously. You were currently packing for the three day trip your mom and you were taking to Chicago. You unfortunately lived in a state that always had zero tour stops and the closest city was Chicago and this was the first time your mom agreed to letting you go since she knew how much you loved NCT. But you guys decided to make a trip out of it and would be staying for a couple days after the concert. You started to type with one hand, messily folding clothes with the other. ‘Yep! I’m packing right now! I’m so excited!!’ You said truthfully before going back to practically shoving your multiple outfits into the suitcase. After a few moments you felt a buzz, ‘I’m going too-’ You didn’t even finish reading the text before your eyes opened wide and your stomach did flips. Jason was going to be there!! As you slowly started rethinking your outfit choices you finished the text. ‘Do you wanna meet up? I know this 24/7 cafe close to the venue.. We can meet after the concert? If you want?’ You were confused at first, why meet up after the concert in a separate location, but just the idea of meeting him made you consider it. ‘Why not before the concert at the venue?’ You asked, wanting a valid reason to meet up late at night at a cafe. You now completely gave up on trying to pack as you impatiently waited for his response. ‘I can’t get there until right before the concert starts because of work and it's always too crazy in the venue after. I understand if you’re not comfortable with it.. I just… really want to meet you.’ Just that line right there made your heart skip a beat. ‘I’ll ask my mom.’

It took quite a lot of convincing, your mom not liking the idea of meeting a stranger you met online one bit. But she also knew you were a responsible Young adult and always had your phone on you, plus she would be right there in case anything did happen. So finally you got the greenlight to meet him. You could barely believe it, not only were you going to see NCT 127 and go through Hi touch, you were going to meet the internet friend that you have been talking to everyday for a couple of months now.

You always knew that there were buildings in Chicago, but you didn’t expect them to be THIS big. It was the day of the concert and your mom and you were only a few minutes away from your hotel and you couldn’t wait until later tonight. Only a few more hours. You spent the majority of that time getting ready, you wore your favorite outfit and spent an extra long time on your make-up, making sure you didn’t look like you just got done with a nine hour car ride. The time went by fast yet slow, the feeling was weird, you couldn’t believe this was all actually happening. Yet soon enough you were in line to have your tickets scanned to enter the concert venue. You achieved the wristband for P1 and attempted the merch line but ended up having to say screw it as the concert was starting in ten minutes. You made it to your seat right before the room went dark and then it started.

Throughout the concert you were singing and dancing and crying, you were feeling so many emotions at once and you never wanted it to stop. You were too caught in the moment to notice the eyes that were on you almost every chance they got, he also couldn’t believe this was happening. As the final song played and you found yourself tearing up once again you looked for the man who started it all between you and Jason. You found Johnny singing on stage, was he…. Was he looking at you? Nah he's probably just scanning the crowd like most artists did, but you still couldn’t ignore the feelings his glance gave you.

You were in the line for Hi-touch, your hair and makeup miraculously still decent looking as you started walking forwards, following the people in front of you. In just a few moments they were right there, the only thing separating you was the table they sat behind. They looked the same as they did on your screen but in a way ten times better, they were real and your hand was touching theirs. You didn’t really know what to say and you didn’t have the time to say much, so you stuck with a simple hello and a smile. You approached the last member, Johnny was watching you the entire time you walked down, he just held up his hand and muttered 'heyas’ as you got closer. This was the first time he'd seen you up close and he had the same feeling you Had. Your pictures are beautiful but something about seeing you in real life was so much better. Your eyes met his as you had to reach up a bit more to touch his hand, he smiled down at you, not able to say anything before you had to move on and walk out of the building.

After recollecting yourself and fixing up your runny mascara from crying too much you and your mom headed to the cafe to meet Jason. Many thoughts swam through your head most of them just not able to get over how amazing they all looked up close but the rest were nerves on meeting the man you’ve grown to have feelings for. You reached the cafe and got out of the car, letting out a nervous breath as you walked in, the shop was empty and the worker behind the counter was almost asleep and jolted awake as you stepped in. You ordered a green tea because you felt like you should order something and not just sit down like a total bitch. After a few minutes your phone buzzed. ‘I’m on my way,, sorry I’m late. got caught in traffic.’ The butterflies in your stomach only grew in numbers as you replied, ‘I’m here, sitting in the back’.

You were sipping on your tea as you heard the door behind you open. You were too scared to face the door so you sat with your back to it, but only when it opened did you realize that it was much more nerve wracking. You couldn’t even turn around your hands shaking as you took deep breaths, you could hear footsteps approaching, Jason was here… and right behind you. He walked around your seat and sat across from you, you were too scared to lift your head so instead you stared at his chest. “Y/N?” his voice was deep… and familiar? You looked up and out of shock from what you saw your hot tea slipped right out of your hands. You hissed softly and reached for napkins but the man in front of you was quicker, he ran to your side and knelt down, using his sleeve to wipe your lap. “Sorry.. Should’ve thought that through.” He said with a small laugh. “You’re… Jason?” you asked, unable to believe it even if you were looking right at him. “Actually… my name's Johnny and we just high-fived like half an hour ago and I can explain everything.”

“So.. You have a private twitter and you found my tweet and commented as a joke but decided to start a conversation with me?” You asked, looking at the idol in front of you. You’ve pinched yourself at least ten times now but everytime hurts more than the last so it can’t be a dream. “I start casual conversations here and there with fans just to see how they’re doing but you’re just… different.” He said. He had on a black baseball cap that was lowered over his face so no one walking past could recognize him. “As we started talking more.. I started looking forward to talking to you and you practically got me through this comeback season, when I was stressed and tired, just talking to you let me take my mind off things… I dunno.. I think I really like you.” You were at a loss of words as you listened to Johnny speak. Were you trapped in some tumblr fanfiction? This can’t really be happening. “I… I really liked talking to you too… you were the first person I opened up to. Whether it was Jason or Johnny I’m really thankful for having them to rant to and if the person I was talking to really you… then I think I like you too.” You said softly and even behind the hat you could see Johnny smile. He moved over to your side of the booth and you scooted to give him some room. “Since we both think we like each other… Why don’t we kiss and find out?” He asked cheesily before leaning in, naturally you closed your eyes and when you felt his lips press against yours it finally set in that this was all real. You were kissing Johnny Suh from NCT, Johnny Suh was kissing you. You moved closer, placing your hands on his sides as his moved to the back of your neck, holding you gently as he allowed the kiss to last for a few more seconds before pulling away. “So… Do you know for sure yet? Because we can do that again if we need to.” He said playfully and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Just to make sure,” You whispered before grabbing him by the collar of his hoodie and pulling him into another sweet kiss. He smiled against your lips, chuckling softly as he fully wraps his long arms around you. “Yeah… I definitely like you.” You said breathlessly as you pulled away and he nodded quickly in agreement. “Me too.” he said with a large smile. “You said you're here for a couple more days? Do you maybe wanna go on a date tomorrow? We don’t leave for the next venue until tomorrow night so we have all day.” He offered. You nodded, not planning on turning down THE Johnny Suh. “It’s a date.” You said softly and he couldn’t help but smile and kiss your cheek, and your nose, and finally your lips, “We have two months to make up for in one day.. I’m gonna make it count.” He said, his large body clinging on to you even when you weren’t kissing, and you definitely weren't complaining. But as you two were sitting there, you in his arms and head on his chest you thought of something.

“Wait a minute… if you weren’t in Chicago but Korea when texting me… When did you sleep??” You asked, looking up at him with concerned eyes and Johnny just laughed and tightened his arms around you. “Shhh… It was worth it.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Ahhhh! Sorry for the delay,, I started this one and I just wasn’t feeling it for the longest time, when I write dialogue I focus on body language so majority of this scenario being text was totally out of my comfort zone! But I hope you guys like this one! And thank you so much for the love on my first post it means a lot!

#kpop #nct scenarios #kpop reactions #johnny #johnny suh #stray kids #haechan fluff #mark lee #nct fluff #twitter #idol #kick it #nct imagines #nct 127 #nctzen #yuta scenarios #nct taeyong

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daisukissed · 4 years

Text

【 Okay, Gamer 】

❧ pairing: kozume kenma x gn!reader, slight kuroo x reader if you squint hard enough

❧ synopsis: who would've thought you'd meet the love of your life through fortnite?

❧ genres: fluff, e2l (the enemy phase being 5 seconds lMFAO), one-shot

❧ warnings: guns, shootings, violence all the stuff you do in a battle royale if that needs a warning???? oh, and cursing.

❧ word count: 2k-ish

❧ a/n: purely self indulgent hehe the things i'd do to game with this guy 🥴

Your fingers move swiftly across your controller, pressing the combinations of buttons that have been ingrained in your brain from muscle memory. Your eyes shift from left to right, focusing solely on the screen of your TV as you scan the large platform for the person who shot you earlier.

Gaining another shot from the right, you immediately toggle your left stick towards the sound of the gunshot, aiming for the pink haired player not far from you.

"SHIT!" You throw your controller out of frustration, seeing it bounce a few times on your bed before making its way onto the floor with a large thud.

"I'm knocked down by the tree, the enemy's literally at 15 health." You groaned through the microphone, picking up the controller back up as you hear a soft hum in reply.

You could see your partner making his way towards you, building up floors and ramps skillfully as he avoid the shots made by the other player earlier.

It doesn't take much time for your teammate to kill off the female character, various items of different colors dropping from her death to which he gathers immediately.

"Oh my God, you're really out here looting and healing first when your teammate is literally seconds away from dying?!" You yell, feeling more and more frustration pile up as you see your health bar becoming shorter and shorter.

"It's your fault that you got knocked down."

Your grip on the controller got tighter than before as you take a deep breath, holding in all the numerous curses plagued on your mind as of now.

"Username 'applepi', I swear to God if you don't get your ass back here and revive me, I'll come and haunt you in real life."

You hear a exasperated sigh from the other side of the call before seeing a purple and black skeleton running his way to the tree you're currently residing in.

The rest of the game went out just as bad as the start of it. He would fire shots aimlessly and pointlessly to attract enemies nearby, solely because he knows it'll piss you off. Of course, you can't just back down from his childish antics so you pay him back by following him everywhere and anywhere, stealing any weapons and materials he got on his sight.

"Hey, there's someone coming over towards your left."

"You already did that trick, try again next time."

"No, I'm serious-"

Bam!

And he's down.

"What the fuck?"

You couldn't help but obnoxiously snort at the sight of your teammate falling down to his knees, only being able to crawl and nothing else as he watches his health bar dwindling into nothing.

"Pfft- See! I-I fucking t-told you but you wouldn't even l-listen!" You stammer in laughter, clutching your stomach in pain. Tears are starting to form in the uppermost corner of your eye, your cheeks beginning to feel sore and chest heaving up and down uncontrollably.

"Shut up and revive me." The player behind your laughter said in an unamused tone. You could hear the aggravation behind his sighs, the sound of what seemed like a device or some sort being put down forcefully followed behind, leaving you in fits of blissful giggles.

Oh, how sweet that karma is by your side.

Top 3.

That's all it takes for the endless banter between you two to cease.

Your body is tense, not wanting to move a single inch from your spot, afraid that it'll wreck the whole game if you put any attention to anything else besides the ongoing match. Your hands are clammy, layered with sheets of sweat between your palm and the black controller you're gripping at, holding it tight as if it's your only hope in winning the game.

You rapidly toggle the small joystick, trying to aim for the player in front of you as you furiously press buttons to shoot and evade at the same time, taking a few shots in the process.

Pressing the R2 button a few more times, you finally knocked your enemy down, shooting them in the head to truly end them.

The green health bar located on the bottom side of your television has about a quarter of it left, causing you to move away from the enemy's sight, searching for a secluded place to refuge in.

Switching your shotgun into a red and white bandage, you heal yourself up, anxiously waiting for the timer to count down to zero to finish healing, hoping that no one comes to ambush you in the meantime.

Your heart thumps against your chest, caused by the surge of adrenaline through your body.

The timer ticks down to six when you get shot, all your remaining health diminishing in one go along with your energy and enthusiasm.

You see your shooter immediately make his way to your teammate, greedy for kills, leaving you to watch your character slowly die in all fours. You think it's a stupid mistake that they didn't finish you off but you're thankful for the chance given.

"Applepi, revive me!" You order frantically, your hope of winning the game slowly decreases as you see your fellow teammate's health at half, the sight of him frantically moving backwards to create distance between his two opponent tells you that he's having a hard time.

"We'll both die before I have the chance to revive you."

An aggravated sigh left your chapped lips as you watch one of the players close in on him.

"Well, you can't beat two players all on your-"

Before you can finish your sentence, soft party music suddenly booms from your speakers, a large blue banner with the writing 'Victory Royale' displaying on your screen. It is as if the gods above and he himself are playing with you, proving you wrong before you could even try.

"What did you say?" The male asks in fake innocence and you might be dreaming but you think that you can hear the slight smile in his husky voice.

You let out a small groan as the game cuts off to its loading screen, the voice chat between you and the quiet male ending.

Trying to fight off the disappointment growing in your heart, you take off your blue headphones, finally setting your controller down after what seems like hours.

Blinking the tiredness of your strained eyes, you give the in game menu a final scan.

As if all the negative emotions that you felt were never there, you hold back a smile, feeling a budding hope when you make out the words in front of you.

Applepi sent you a friend request!

You learned a lot of new things about your new friend.

You learned that his real name is Kozume Kenma, he's a year older than you and goes to Nekoma High, the school a few stops before yours.

You learned that he has blonde hair and ebony roots, along with gold slit eyes and small pupils that makes him resemble a cat.

You also learned that he uses the username 'applepi' because he loves apple pies, he's a quiet person in general, not just in game but in texts as well. Sometimes he surprises you, getting chatty and affectionate at rare times.

You screech out his name, the boy being mentioned having to wince at the loud sound from his headphones. You run around the grassy platform, avoiding the player coming for you at all cost due to your lack of good weapons.

Kenma watches you for a while, contemplating whether he should just leave you or actually save you.

He opts for the latter, he always does.

Rushing in with a stronger weapon than yours, he jumps through bushes and cars, avoiding anything that seems to block him. Turning left from the rocky road, the blonde male immediately shoots at a purple character near yours, focusing on aiming at the small figure faraway.

"You suck, Y/N." He points out, controlling his skeleton-like character to run towards you after finishing the last blow.

"Yet you always play with me anyways." You argue.

You know you hit the mark when he doesn't give you any sort of response.

Your lips curl up into a soft smile as you hear the boy you grow more and more fond of talk about today's practice.

You don't know how or when it happened but the hectic calls while gaming are slowly replaced by a more ordinary and intimate one instead. Insults about the other party's skills turns to subtle compliments and childish banters turn into curious questions about one's life.

You would be lying if you said you didn't like the change.

"So this Hinata guy just spikes without even looking at the ball?" You ask intriguingly, genuinely interested at the dynamic duo he had been telling you about.

"Uh-huh, he's amazing."

You let out a small giggle at his response.

He doesn't notice but the tone of his voice always seems to change when he's talking about the things he's passionate about. Whether it be the new game he started playing or even volleyball, when he played an intense match. It's a minuscule change but you notice it anyways.

A slight click of the door opening followed by one or two footsteps can be heard from Kenma's room, a sly voice resonating throughout the walls.

"Ah, is that your Fortnite girlfriend you're calling again?"

You can vaguely recall the voice belonging to Kuroo Tetsurou, one of Kenma's teammate whom you shared a few conversations with before, much to the blonde's dismay. Feeling a slight cringe upon hearing the tall athlete's words, along with a hint of envy, you choose to stay quiet as they talk.

"It's not. Get out of my room, Kuroo." The cat-like male spit out, black eyebrows furrowing in annoyance.

Kuroo's lips twitches up into a infuriating smirk, knowing full well of the ticking time bomb in front of him. He does as he was ordered to, stepping his foot out of his childhood friend's door.

Not before dealing a blow though.

"If you don't ask her out soon, I might just go and steal her, you know~?" The clever male goads before escaping out of the room.

Upon hearing those words, Kenma's mind goes into a havoc, his heart dropping down into his stomach.

He knows that you and Kuroo have been texting as well lately, the said man mentioning that he is in fact, quiet interested in you.

What are you bothered of anyways? People can get close to her however they'd like, he thinks, yet he feels all these negative emotions swirling around his head when he imagines you going out with the suave boy.

"Fortnite girlfriend?" You inquire, breaking his train of thoughts. You can't help the slight bitterness in your tone when you speak, though you're sure it goes unnoticed by the person you're speaking to.

"It's nothing, just ignore what he said."

Not satisfied with his answer, you push more, "Well, shouldn't you really ask her out? We can't let Kuroo be a step ahead of you, can't we?"

You try your hardest to play it as a joke, masking your jealousy with a cheerful and joking tone.

It is exactly this that gives Kenma the final push, giving him the last ounce of courage and guts that are needed to say his next line.

"Then Y/N, would you like to go to the cat café I mentioned about together this Saturday?"

Your mind short circuits, incompetent to form words and your eyes widen by a tenfold. To say that you are shocked would be an understatement

You can hear Kenma beginning to take back his words, scared that he's putting you in a difficult place or making you feel uncomfortable but before he can finish his words, you cut him off with a stuttered and loud 'yes!'

The Pudding Head smiles slightly at your agreement and before arranging his plans with you, he opens the messaging app on his phone, immediately texting the number one contact.

Kozume Kenma

I did it.

Kuroo Tetsurou

Took you long enough.

#haikyuu imagines #kenma x reader #haikyuu #kuroo x reader #kozume kenma #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #kenma imagines #kuroo imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fics #i had to edit and proofread twice bcs tumblr didnt save my draft #so if this flops #i'm gonna SOB

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yuvon-writes-letters · 3 years

Note

Hey guys,

Yu, Rai and both Jakes.

Actually..If I talk about my feelings I'm pretty well. Don't tell Jake I said that, but I couldn't be happier about our situation. I mean, we can talk again. Without me being kidnapped and finding a weird Tumblr profile of him. (Which we think was a set up by one of the entities of my world since he obviously doesn't have one. Jake thinks it was goldies doing, I on the other hand don't believe that. Don't ask me why, but it feels like goldie wouldn't do that. And it didn't help me either but only made problems. I was distracted because I was writing the profile (you read it, right Yu? I don't know about the others) and angry. Like, really angry.)

Putting that aside, Jake called me, like he promised :) And it was the longest phone call I had for some time. Most of the time I talked and he didn't get distracted once, just listened to me and everything that happened. And then he started cursing, which is kind of understandable. He apologised for being into stasis. And for this other version from before the 'time setting back' thing. Because I don't find a name I'll call it TSB from now on.

The only problem I have now is going to work, I guess I'll take me some vacation...But at least I'm not as scared of the raven-ass anymore. I mean, I still am, but in the moment I know his steps. And I am not alone.

Jake, I intentionally write the next part in red, please don't read it. That's for Yu.

I know you think that Jake sees you as a threat. If it still is like you wrote in the letter. Jake knows that, too and he doesn't like it. You know him better than I do, of course, but without saying too much...I think it's quite the opposite. Talk to him about that. Even though it's probably not the best circumstances I think he enjoys being with you :)

The next part, purple (damn, I need more coloured pens), is for you Jake.

You already told me that you don't like that Yu thinks you see her as a threat. I only have to say one thing, if it still is like that, talk to her about it. Earlier than later.

The new thoughts about the blood ritual are really interesting. But please don't put yourself in this danger (or not, but I think it's understandable what I mean?) if it isn't necessary. But I also agree with Rai, I thought the same thing for a while. That you desired having someone, Jake, with you. It sounds plausible.

What more was there...Wait, let me reread the letters.

Oh yeah, Rai! One, till now my crow crew seems to still be in stasis (Jake realised that now, too) and two..Please try to take care of your health, yeah? I'm worried for you.

Lis🐾🔥

Ps. Damn...I'm writing this exactly when I wanted to leave the house (I mean, I sadly cannot hide my face forever).

Two new things...I got a message. I mean, it was a threat (because I am the obviously the bad girl that kidnapped Hannah), but I don't care. Maybe that means the stasis is slowly dissolving!

But number 2...I didn't get the vacation. My boss called me almost immediatly. "Under no circumstances [a word is blacked out] Liska. We have July and Alice, Tim and Jenny all want to take free time, too. You are one of our best workers and we can't afford you leaving now. You have no children so you have to wait. Also Max told me that you don't have any problems in family."

So long story short: He wants me to be there tomorrow. Argh, if he would pay me like he's talking that would awesome. And I'll kill Max when I see him next time. (My cousin that thought it was fun to try and steal my work so we both got the rank of 'one of the best workers'. The only problem: Max' title is official. -.- Overall, I'm so much more annoyed than some time earlier. Maybe I should ask Jake for help

Lis,

Okay, the Crow Crew drama is fading a bit, so I'll answer this now. Sorry if I seem disjointed at all, I'm probably going to be going back and forth from conversations to this letter a lot. I can't afford to have them all think I'm compromised, I need to focus on getting out of here and I don't want to deal with their pressure on top of everything else.

Yeah, I don't think the Tumblr profile was Goldie either. Goldie seems to try to be very much a "hands off" sort of entity, like my own. The Tumblr profile thing seems a little out of character for at least my Jake. At least, publicly answering your submission certainly was, though he may have panicked since you sent it in on anon and answered publicly without really thinking about it. I guess I could see him having a Tumblr profile for purposes of following people on social media and watching what they post, though. And then deciding he likes the media and posting a little bit of impersonal things that can't lead back to him. Probably my Jake will say something about that when I hand this letter over to him, stay tuned.

Yeah, I at least read some of the things you sent that profile, and I showed what I had to my Jake too. I'm not sure if I read all of it, since it was a bunch of printed-out screenshots in an envelope, but I read the ask where you told him you hated him (fair at that point but ouch that's got to have hurt) up to when you said you'd found Hannah. After that you sent me your letter telling me time had turned back and the Tumblr screenshots ended.

I'm glad you and Jake managed to talk things out. I was sort of worried about how he'd react, but it sounds like he took it pretty well, considering. I'm... not exactly sure he should be apologizing for the stasis, though. Or the TSB!Jake. Maybe especially not the TSB!Jake. Jakes seem to be oddly different from timeline to timeline, just based on what I've seen of them. TSB has been one of the most different so far.

Oh. One thing I should mention that you might not have seen from the profile: The MWAF used your phone to mock the TSB account, and mentioned that TSB wasn't the only person who could hack, and the MWAF blocked TSB from finding your location. Might want to warn your Jake about that.

A vacation sounds like a good idea :/ It's really hard to go back to normal life right after tragedies or trauma. It feels like the world keeps moving on and you're still stuck in place, and you just want to scream at them that they need to slow down, can't they see that the world is

Good. I'm glad you don't feel alone. It's easier to deal with this stuff when you're with someone else, even if it's not physically.

(Jake, my Jake I mean, if you're reading over my parts of these letters skip to the ||| now please.) I'm not saying he doesn't also enjoy my company. I can tell he does. That doesn't make me not a threat. Like how early on I suspected Thomas, but still thought he was a nice guy and enjoyed talking to him. (Obviously I don't suspect him any more XD ) Still, if you think I should talk with him about it, I'll try to find a tactful way to bring it up.

Yes, because obviously tact is my greatest strength. Sigh.

Like I said to Rai, the underlying desire thing is definitely possible. That'd either mean I'm more obvious about how I feel for Jake than I think I am (very possible, I'm not great at hiding how I feel in person) or the entity has some level of telepathy/mind reading. The reason is that chessboard. Since Jake likes chess, it's clear at least to me the entity expected him to come here at some point. I THINK, if the underlying desire thing is true, I can manipulate myself into wanting specific things by doing things like writing it over and over and repeating it out loud when doing the ritual, but I'm not sure.

|||

It's probably good that your Crow Crew is in stasis, like how it's objectively probably good my outside life is going on without me. Less drama, less pressure.

Huh. The harassment is definitely a promising sign. Maybe you should try contacting Darkness again, same way as I suggested near the beginning? That feels so long ago, but it really can't have been much more than a week, can it?

You... didn't get the vacation. Fucking hell. Is there ANY way you can convince your boss? You really should have time off. Maybe your Jake can help you come up with ideas.

Or at least maybe he can come up with a way to have your boss give you a bonus for your trouble -_-

Oh shit Cleo's interrogating me I'm gonna hand this to Jake now

(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hello, Lis.

I agree with Yuvon: "TSB" acts markedly different from myself. There would be no benefit from me promising to be there to find you in the moment, and indeed I would have been falling for a very transparent trap. Even in my possible state of panic, I cannot see myself being there physically, much less revealing myself physically to authorities in the process, unless I was playing the role of bait in a counter-trap. While it is plausible that this was TSB's plan, TSB gave no indication that Yuvon or I could tell that this was the case. Of course, I would have done my best to be there physically in the aftermath of the kidnapping, but not in the moment.

I also agree that the Tumblr profile seems to be out of character for both myself and for "Goldie", though I hesitate to judge TSB's actions by what I myself would do. I seem to vary in surprising ways across universes and even from timeline to timeline, based solely on your current Jake's reactions thus far. I do actually own a Tumblr profile for the exclusive purpose of following social medias I wish to track, but I used a random username generator website for the username and not my own name, and I certainly never posted anything.

The news about the MWAF being able to hack is new to me; I must have missed that the first time I read through the screenshots. That is quite troubling. I suppose I will need to be more careful in future.

I am sincerely sorry your request for a vacation was rejected. I do not know how much you intend to separate your personal life and the Duskwood case, but if your stasis is truly wavering, you may be able to reveal some measure of the danger you are in to convince him to let you flee the area for a small while. Especially since you mentioned in your Tumblr post that you saw a raven note in your wor

Oh.

You need to leave that place. Now. Do not inform your employer of the danger you are in, reveal nothing to him or to anyone, take unpaid time off if you need to. Get your cousin and anyone else you care overly much about out of there too. Invalidate any information you can your employer or coworkers knows about you. Do not tell the truth to anyone, even your cousin. Make up any excuses you need to, ask your Jake for help with ideas if you need to. You may also wish to check that the coworkers your boss listed who are going on vacation are ACTUALLY going on vacation.

This is a priority, Liska. You need to tell your Jake all of this too, especially the part with the note in your workplace. You need to get out of there.

Good luck.

—Jake & Yuvon

(The letter tucks itself into the paper clip with the others.)

#duskwood letter game #yuvon writes letters #duskwood #duskwood game #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #lis

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lgcsunwoo · 4 years

Text

hello everyone!! i’m super excited to be here with my big dumbass, jeon sunwoo! a quick and dirt rundown of his #stats: nineteen, first year student at korea university, and hopefully a future actor (because he sucks at everything else). you can check out his about and biography pages if you want to know more, but i’ll also drop a brief intro under the cut. pls do hmu if you’d like to plot! i have sunwoo’s plots page up and i’ll leave some connection ideas under the cut as well. you can find me on ims usually, but also twitter and discord (please ask for my username!) if you prefer. ooooorrrrrr you can simply like this post and i’ll come to you to plot :’D

QUICK FACTS:

entered legacy in january 2020, so he’s still pretty new to the whole idol life/training thing. isn’t really good at like, the basic requirements of being an idol (so singing/dancing/rapping) and focuses more on things like modelling, acting, and variety because those are things he CAN do, you know?

he’s an idol trainee for now though and he sucks. can i get an f in the chat

a first year at korea university, majoring in physical education. he’s also part of the baseball club @ uni and it’s something he’s very passionate about for reasons... anyway school isn’t his strong suit; he knows he only got into ku because of his dad’s connections

he’s ~pretty~ wealthy; dad’s the ceo of a heavy equipment company and mom is a former miss korea winner/model turned philanthropist. he also has a little brother (jinwoo) who is five years old and sunwoo literally never shuts up about how cute and perfect he is

since he basically lived life as an only kid, he’s a little spoiled and useless - his parents used to dote on him, basically gave him everything he wanted and did everything for him so when it comes to life skills he’s sorely lacking

the only thing he’s really good at is baseball - used to play in little league, then on his high school team. they were really good, consistently did well in national tournaments

(he’s not sure if he loves baseball because he’s good at it, or if he’s good at it because he loves it. that’s a whole other thing we won’t get into).

anyway!!! went viral during a tournament because they did a short segment on him and people were like wow he’s handsome + those proportions + talent and a bunch of people told him he should be an idol/celebrity and he was like haha maybe (but no)

but he didn’t get scouted by any of the teams in the kbo or futures league!! his dad helped him get into school but he was like, i can’t live life for just SCHOOL

so he auditioned for legacy at the urging of a friend and got in and was like, so desperate for a new dream that he decided ok this is what i want to do with my life

(we don’t know if it is)

he’s actually a super warm, friendly, cheerful guy. always the mood maker in any situation, wants everyone to get along. can sometimes come across as like arrogant or egotistical but he’s a rich kid so #webeenknew

kinda aimless in the sense that he lives in the moment and doesn’t worry about the future... he’s not good at planning so he’s just like, i will not think about it. he’s just straight vibing most of the time...

honestly really trusting and obedient, wears his heart on his sleeve, can be emotionally volatile at times but he tries to internalize the ~bad things~ and push people away when he’s not feeling great!! lies a lot too--innocent white lies that are mostly to like, get out of situations he doesn’t wanna deal with, but still

loves affection and being praised... external validation is s*xy to him... when he doesn’t get it he just crashes... sorry he’s not good at like... self-motivation

overall, he’s a good kid. i swear.

this was supposed to be short why does this always happen to me i’m so sorry

CONNECTIONS:

friends... pls... he’s a very friendly guy and generally will like add you to his circle after two conversations so i feel like he would have tons of these!!

fellow junior trainees especially extreme newbies!! let’s be bad at things and try to figure shit out together

also any korea university students pls hit him up... let’s be campus buddies... alternatively, any yonsei students: let’s throw the fuck down let’s GO school rivalries

where are his dorm i buddies at... sunwoo gets attached to people easily but he’s also the worst fucking roommate so...

older/more experienced trainees he can look at with sparkly anime eyes and seek validation from!! please mentor him!!

fellow actors/acting hopefuls in general... same goes for models/variety stars (current or aspiring). his people... he wants to connect with his people...

would love some enemies like maybe not even that antagonistic but sunwoo can get pretty annoying... maybe someone who hates him but sunwoo thinks they’re friends, or like... RIVALS... anything really

one sided crushes? mutual crushes that don’t go anywhere?? soft shoujo romance vibes ruined by how dense he is??

maybe (1) ex. maybe. dated them more for the feeling of being in a relationship rather than for real and now it’s awkward

people who like baseball or sporty people ): hit him up... let’s exercise together

older sibling figures who can take care of him because god knows he needs it... also he’s a cute younger brother and will do aegyo on command

or if nothing’s working i have a more detailed plots page as well!

#ooc #i was like 'this isn't going to be that long' and then it was #every damn time #anyway hi pls plot with us!

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calligraphist-artemisia · 4 years

Text

Soul of a Lion (chapter 3)

Sequel to The Smallest Blade.

Summary: After the Red Lion steals them away from the Marmora base and takes them through a wormhole, Shiro, Keith, Katla, and Lance find themselves in front of a majestic castle with nowhere to go but inside. The events that unfold while they’re there will change the fate of the universe.

Also posted on AO3 under the username “kishirokitsune”.

☆ - ☆ - ☆ - ☆ - ☆

3 | Communication

The dim lighting of the castle's nighttime cycle made everything feel far more ominous than it needed to be, with the way it cast long shadows across the floor and highlighted any curvature in the architecture around them. Katla stayed close to the wall as she and Lance snuck towards the security panel she spotted during their tour. With luck, she would be able to hack into it without setting off any alarms.

Neither of them dared speak for fear of getting caught.

Katla gestured for Lance to stop as they reached the end of the hall. She waited a moment and then, with more caution than necessary, peered around the bend. When she saw that the coast was clear, she nodded to him and waved him forward so they could continue towards their task, which was all the way down at the end of the hall on their left.

“This is it,” Katla whispered to him. She held up her right arm and pressed on a slightly raised plate on the underside of her bracer. It clicked and released a tiny cable, which she pulled out and, after taking a deep breath, connected it to the control panel on the wall. The screen flickered in and out for a moment and then turned from blue to a pale violet, signaling that she was successfully wired into the system.

Both of them let go of the breath they were holding.

“Is that it?” Lance asked.

“Almost,” Katla responded, turning her wrist so her hand faced palm down. She double-tapped the top of her bracer, which activated a small, holographic display. “Keep an eye out, would you? Hopefully, this thing will give me a map to an engineering room or something. It's bound to have parts I can use.”

Lance nodded sharply and stood up straight. Though he didn't move away from the wall, he listened as hard as he could for any sound that wasn't the tiny beeps from Katla scouring the system for anything useful.

After a few tense doboshes, Katla cried out in triumph, and although she managed to do it quietly, it still made Lance visibly jump.

“Sorry,” she apologized as she disconnected from the control panel. “There's a spare parts room two halls over and I disconnected the security cameras and put them on loop. It'll last us one varga, so we'll have to be quick.”

“Can you build your-” (Lance vaguely waved his hand) “-whatever-it-is in that short amount of time?”

“Who do you think you're talking to? Of course I can,” Katla said confidently.

Lance snorted in amusement. “Lead on, team captain. I'd like to get some beauty rest at some point tonight and the sooner you do your thing, the sooner I can curl up in bed.”

Katla grinned at him and then set off down the hallway at a much faster pace, more at ease with the knowledge that there was no one around to catch them. According to the system, there was one person three floors above them and there were two other people up in the topmost spire of the castle. (And of course, she checked in to find Shiro and Keith, who were steadily making their way to the front door when she spotted their dots. Or at least, she assumed it was them.)

When they got to the correct door, Katla didn't even have to hack into it, it simply slid open with a simple press to the keypad.

“You know, I'd say I should talk to them about upping their security around here but it's really benefiting me right now, so I won't,” Katla said in a light-hearted tone. “Oh, look at this!”

Lance looked around, but all he saw were heaps of junk and scrap metal. “Uh, yeah, it's really something. Very... metal-y.”

Katla wasn't paying him any attention as she eagerly delved into the piles and began pulling things out, cooing and humming over what she could use and what may be useful for future things. As Lance watched, the pile in front of her grew, and while he didn't see how any of it was meant to fit together, Katla was clearly delighted by her mess of wires and metal pieces, so he didn't say anything until she tried to scoop it all up and carry it to one of the mostly empty tables.

“Here, let me help,” Lance said, stooping down to help pick up some of the stray pieces.

Together the pair got all of the parts over to a desk, where Katla began to assemble them and occasionally looked up to ask Lance to fetch some kind of tool or computer chip or another cable or wire.

Lance did his best to help while also listening for anyone's approach, but by the time Katla had her little machine buzzing to life, he'd forgotten the whole reason he was there. And because both of them were so focused on the communication device, neither noticed there was someone else in the room with them until that person loudly cleared their throat to get their attention.

Lance gasped and back up into the desk so hard that he winced.

Katla's hand flew to her side and grasped the hilt of her dagger as she turned to face the potential threat. She froze when she saw Hunk standing there with his hands held up in front of him to show he didn't mean any harm.

For a moment, there was only silence.

“What do you want?” Lance asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You guys set off a sensor when you left your rooms, so I came to make sure everything is alright,” Hunk said, slowly lowering his hands back to his sides.

“You bugged our rooms?” Pidge asked incredulously.

“Well, yeah. I mean, wouldn't you if you were in my shoes?” Hunk asked in response. “What are you two doing in here anyway?”

Lance watched as Katla tried to move over in front of her device before Hunk could get a better look at it. He copied her and closed in as well, though he could tell from the expression on Hunk's face that he'd already seen that they were building something. Maybe if they were lucky, he wouldn't be able to figure out what it was?

A few ticks passed and then Hunk sighed. “I know we don't have any reason to trust each other, but can we try and get along? At least until we figure all of this out with the Red Lion.”

Katla puffed herself up in anger, her tail lashing as she very slowly stepped aside. “We need to send a message back to our families and let them know we're alright.”

Hunk took a single step closer and both of them tensed up, but that was as far as he went. “You could have just asked. Though, uh, I guess the real issue would be convincing Allura and Coran.” He paused for a moment to look at the machine. “Wait, is that a sub-frequency radio? Are you sure you don't want to use something a little faster? I could try and sneak you up on the bridge once they leave and you could send a message that way.”

Katla shook her head. “This is more reliable. And since no one uses it anymore, no one is looking or broadcasts through it anymore. Well, except for Keith's dad and my family.”

There was something about Hunk that made Lance feel more at ease, despite his determination to dislike all three Alteans found in the castle. He figured Katla must have been feeling the same way. She wouldn't reveal so much if she wasn't.

“And you built it using pieces you found around here?” Hunk asked. “What are you using to power it?”

Katla hesitated to respond, but after another few ticks of silence and Hunk patiently waiting for her to decide whether or not to tell him, she finally did. “I was going to make a double coil generator so it keeps recycling the energy and gathers displaced electrical currents from the air, but it needs a jump start so I don't have to wait for that to build up. I figured something around here would have enough power to do that, but...”

“Maybe I can find something,” Hunk suggested.

Lance stayed close to Katla as the Altean began to walk around, opening drawers in search of what they needed. He didn't know why Hunk was so willing to help them. Was it a trap? A way of luring them into a false sense of security, prying their secrets from them, and then finding a way to betray them?

His panicked thoughts didn't have time to gain any momentum or spiral off into a more ridiculous scenario. A wave of calm washed over him, soothing his fraying nerves and forcing him to relax. And all at once, Lance realized why he felt so at ease with Hunk.

It took everything in his power not to blurt it out right then and there.

Later. He would tell Katla and the others later. If he brought it up right at that moment, then he would have to explain how he knew so much about Altean secrets and that was a wormhole he had no plans on opening up.

Hunk made a triumphant exclamation as he lifted a tray of shiny rocks from one of the drawers and carried it over to them. “These are power crystals,” he explained, picking up one shaped like an obelisk with a broken base and passing it to Lance. “We'll have to dig through and find one that still has some power left.”

Lance rolled the opaque white gem around his palm, watching with slight alarm as a faint glow began to build up in the center. He quickly passed it off to Katla before anyone could notice what was happening.

“How do you know which ones have power?” Katla asked, curiously eyeing the box before looking at the stone she was just handed. “Because it looks like the one you gave us might work.”

Hunk shook his head. “They'll glow if they have any power left. That one was... oh!” his voice stuttered in surprise as he took a second look. “You're right! That one should work. That's odd...”

Katla didn't question their good fortune and busied herself with installing the crystal in the communication device, practically bouncing in delight as it immediately began to work.

Lance's heart was pounding in his chest. He could feel Hunk's eyes on him. 'Please don't figure it out,' Lance prayed, turning his back towards the Altean and pretending to focus solely on the coils within Katla's device which were steadily directing the energy through the wires and looping back around into itself, glowing brighter with each pass.

If Hunk learned anything from the exchange, he didn't say anything and instead went to put the tray away before returning to watch Katla begin to input her message. It became apparent after a moment that he, like Lance, couldn't make heads or tails of the series of numbers Katla was typing out.

“A coded message?” he guessed.

“My brother and I made our own secret code when we were kids, so we could write to each other without anyone else knowing what we were saying,” Katla explained. “Kol – Keith's dad will pick up on the broadcast, but only Matt will be able to translate.”

“That seems a little excessive.”

Katla gave a humorless laugh. “Maybe you hadn't picked up on this, but we're not exactly friends of the Empire. All of that caution is how we stay alive. We haven't had the luxury of hiding away and sleeping for all these years.”

Hunk flinched, but when he spoke again it was without anger in his voice. “You're right. We hid the Lions and ourselves because we were afraid of what would happen if Zarkon found us. I didn't like it. Allura argued that we should keep fighting. But we listened to our King because he thought it was the right choice. Maybe it was or maybe it wasn't, but we're here now and ready to stand up and fight. The Red Lion brought the four of you here for a reason and I know it's because you've been chosen as the new paladins. Well, four of them. Because there should be five of you.”

“Wait, there are five Lions?” Katla asked.

Hunk looked taken aback by the question. “Yeah. You didn't know?”

“How would we?” Katla asked in response. She took another moment to read over her message and then send it before picking up the device. “So, where are these other four Lions? Are they as well hidden as Red?”

“They should be. We know that the Black Lion is safe since it's here in the castle, but we won't know about the others until we go looking. Allura should be able to tell us where they are,” Hunk said.

“Which means we'll never find them,” Lance stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I wouldn't say that. The princess will come around, she just needs a little time,” Hunk said defensively. “I should get you back to your room. It definitely won't help things if she or Coran learn that you're out here sending messages and that I helped you.”

Neither Katla nor Lance protested as Hunk gestured for them to follow him out of the room and back through the halls. None of them spoke; Lance didn't even blurt out the storm of questions left to thunder around in his mind.

When they got back to their rooms, Katla didn't give Lance a chance to go into the room he'd been given and instead grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into Shiro's without giving him a chance to protest. While she looked around for the best place to hide her device, just in case they needed it again, Lance sat down on the edge of the bed and mulled over everything he'd learned, slotting it into place with what he'd known before.

Most of it boiled down to one fact: as much as he didn't want to like him, Hunk was someone they could trust.

It wasn't just the fact that he helped them send their message.

It wasn't even that he kept his patience even when Katla verbally attacked him.

It had everything to do with his Aspect.

They didn't have a lot of records from the time when Altea still hung whole in the sky. All that they knew of their heritage was what had been verbally passed down from parent to child and there were scarce few books and items that remained. Their knowledge of Altean Aspects – the special abilities that their quintessence granted them – was a limited one born of experience.

Body.

Mind.

Spirit.

Heart.

Lance had been born graced with the power to change his form at will. He began far earlier than most babies, changing the color of his skin for his own amusement, as well as the amusement of the other children he grew up with. By the time he was a tween, he could hold color and form for days if he needed to, even through sleep.

His mother said he was extraordinarily blessed.

Lance didn't always see it that way. Not when there was Leifsina, whose sharp mind was leagues above everyone else. Or Rykin, who was gifted with tremendous strength and just enough spirit to power the lamps around their village when needed. And then there was Curtis, who wore his Aspect of Heart like a shield, able to soothe those in need of it and calm tempers when they began to flare.

And all Lance could do was shift his appearance. That was nothing special. Most Alteans carried that ability.

Hunk was one of those special Alteans – like Curtis – who was born with the rarest ability of all. There were no others in their village who boasted the Aspect of Heart and even their records of it were scarce; there was perhaps one born with that Aspect every one-hundred decaphoebs. Still, if there was one thing they knew for certain it was that those with Heart were incapable of lying. There was always some kind of tell when they tried and no amount of practice or emotional control was enough to fix that.

Lance still didn't like him.

But if he had to pick one of the three who he trusted, it would be Hunk.

Shiro and Keith returned with little fanfare and news that the Red Lion hadn't responded to any of Keith's pleading, which meant they were officially stuck on Arus until she changed her mind. After hearing that, Lance was reluctant to tell them about their run-in with Hunk, but Katla had no such fears about telling them all about it.

At least they had gotten a message sent. It was only a question of Kolivan recognizing it as coming from them and getting Matt to translate.

“We should get some rest,” Shiro said once they were all caught up. “The three of you are welcome to stay here for the night. The bed's a little small, but I think we could manage.”

Katla perked up. “Do you mean it?”

“I wouldn't have offered if I didn't,” Shiro responded, sounding amused.

Lance thought for sure Keith would scoff and say he was going to sleep in his own room, but to his amazement, Keith yawned and claimed the middle before climbing over the bed to settle in his chosen spot. Katla grinned as she joined him, rolling over him to settle between Keith and the wall.

“Lance?” Shiro questioned. “Do you want to stay too?”

Lance agreed with only a little embarrassment.

☆ - ☆ - ☆ - ☆ - ☆

Allura sat in front of her vanity, slowly running a brush through her hair as she reflected on the events of the evening before. After a night of proper sleep, she was ashamed by the way she reacted to their guests and the obstinacy she displayed in refusing to believe that the Red Lion had accepted one of them as her paladin.

She set her brush down with deliberate delicacy and closed her eyes.

Her father's Lion had chosen a Galra and it hurt as surely as if she were in physical pain. And while she couldn't fully blame that pain for her actions, it certainly added to the helpless rage that she felt from the very moment she awoke in the cryo-pod, the betrayal of the people she once called allies still a freshly bleeding wound.

Regardless of her reasons, she had acted disgracefully and her guests deserved an apology.

Allura opened her eyes and stared at her reflection. “I will apologize, but this doesn't mean I trust them.”

There was a quiet scratching sound followed by several squeaks that seemed to overlap one another and Allura blinked in surprise as she watched four mice of different sizes climb up onto her vanity and begin to tumble around. There was a tickling in the back of her mind as though four voices were trying to speak and gain her attention, though it wasn't in words but feeling and a quick flash of images.

“Can you... understand me?” Allura murmured, tilting her head to the side as she regarded the mice.

There were more excited squeaks and a starburst of delight.

As she learned that a connection between them existed thanks to their 10,000 years spent in the same cryo-pod, Allura began to consider how she could use it to her benefit. They were small and inconspicuous. No one would even think that she could understand what they were saying.

They would be the perfect little spies.

“Perhaps you'd like to help me with something,” Allura said with a growing smile. “And in return, I'll find whatever food you like to eat.”

#voltron #kidge #kidgemas #fanfiction #soul of a lion #galra shiro #half galra keith #half galra pidge #altean lance #altean hunk #the space mice join the party!

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