#but also the actor playing Louis in the dramatizations is way too hot to be Louis

[steampoweredstrawberry]

Looking up historical documentaries on YT be like:

Me: [Searches Baroque era life]

YT: Do you mean Victorian era life?

Me: No. Let me specify that I mean mid 1700's.

YT: Oooooh. Do you mean Medieval peasant life?

Me: What? No. Wrong century. Like, specifically French life in like 1760-1790. The time leading up to the French Revolution.

YT: Okay. Got it. Do you mean Baroque by Malice Mizer?

Me: Fine. Sure. Not what I was looking for, but I acknowledge this is also good.

[nalyra-dreaming]

I'm sorry I don't want to start the conversation again and I know she was proved wrong, but your anons got me intrigued and I found this in Maven old answers where she explained why, according to her, Louis would disappear "But then why do they keep talking about Louis and Lestat as this super romance?? Well, they never say it's the ONLY romance, do they? They just say its A romance. Listen to how carefully they phrase things. And sometimes romances have ends! Sadly! Especially for immortal beings who have eternity to have other romances, and I can really see a TV show like this wanting to explore pairing Lestat with other actors in other roles to keep the audience invested in the new fresh hot dramatic romance of the week so they don't get bored with a happy old married couple on the screen. ALSO (and yes I know I'm being cynical here), I can see a TV show like this being like "we can only get away with being so gay and interracial, so Lestat needs to shift to female and/or white love interests in later seasons." The way she talks about race really rubs me the wrong way.

Don't apologize. As I've said, I only watched 2 videos at most, and I seem to have noped out of it pretty early -.-

And yeah, it comes across as pretty tone deaf.

That said, (and I do not mean to defend, just saying) I had not dared to hope for a color-conscious, incredibly layered, written-like-a-play, nuanced and superbly intelligent and beautifully designed show either. With this kind of cast.

Which is also why I just don't get why she's hating on it so much. I get that a lot of the smaller things are hard to swallow, especially (maybe) for fans who have loved Lestat for a long time. (Though that will likely change, and rather sooner than later, too? And most of it is in the books.)

But there is a difference between anticipating a fail... and trying to brand it as one, if that makes sense. And I feel like she's trying for the latter.

Which is a real shame. And... not a good look, imho, totally apart from everything else.

[sabineelectricheart]

The Proverbial Chains

Summary: Louis does not want to be without Alear. He feels he must protect her at all costs, lest she ends up like everyone else he ever loved. He takes that duty much too serious.

Rating: M - Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 with non-explicit suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, or coarse language.

Words: 1100

Notes: I did another fic about this a few months ago, and I thought that it would be nice to bash the birthday boy with something just like it, so...

“All the quaint stars shine for thee, mine love.”

His voice was sultry and soulful against her hot skin, tone far deeper than anything that Alear had ever heard from him before, and considering his penchant for poetry and the dramatics, she had heard quite a lot. His breath hit her skin in warm waves, serving as a painful reminder that this is not a dream.

Louis was real, the thick shackles on her wrists and ankles were real, this was real. Even if it feels like the worse of her nightmares, even if it is more than her limbs that hurt.

Hot, thick tears fell from her cheek to his, his eyebrows furrowing with worry. He stopped his ministrations short, delicate lips twisting from light smile to a deep frown. Warm fingers brushed over the wet trail on her cheek so delicately that she realized that he might just think of her as a doll, her status as a Divine Dragon and his war commander notwithstanding.

So fragile, so vulnerable.

“Why do you cry so much, my love? You do not think I speak the truth?” His voice was low with concern and hurt.

The woman raised her wrists pathetically. “P-Please take these off.”

Alear fumbled with the thick restraints binding her wrists, but they were no ordinary handcuffs. The wrought iron clung to her skin only barely tight enough to not restrict her blood flow. The length of the cuffs themselves were almost theatrically long in nature, resembling shackles she would see an actor wear in a play. Without her sword and her Emblem Ring, she cannot summon the power to free herself from them, and so is stuck in this situation.

The thought of being his unwilling actress from then on made her sick to her stomach. Yet, the fires of love still burned no matter what he has done to her, what he will do to her.

Perhaps she is just as crazy as Louis. Perhaps her frustration is just out of the fact that he had this idea first. Perhaps, just like him, she also craves the security of knowing that she will not be losing anyone else.

“But they are a symbol of my love for you. How could I possibly dismiss them in such a way?” His bottom lip trembled at the thought of not being bound to her, of not having she always within reach. “You do not like it?”

She fumbled over her words. The way he pleaded with her using those green, droopy eyes was beyond disconcerting, easily sapping her confidence with a mere look.

“I... I appreciate it, my love, but I am not g-going anywhere. Please, there is no need for them...”

Alear hoped that he does not hear the lie in her words, about the fact that she appreciated the act, but he seemed far more enthralled with running his fingers over the metal handcuffs and her hands, the coldness a stark contrast to her blissfully warm skin. Her skin was always unblemished, always soft and comfortable, regardless of the conditions they faced. She always looked like a blessing, flushed and alive, even in the biting winds of Elusia, even before the chilling darkness of the Fell Dragon.

She always felt like a blessing, and Louis has always loved that mystical aspect about her. Whereas he was as cold as the dead he often hauled in his cart of the fallen, as empty and meaningless as the corpses that once belonged to those he loved, she is still alive, always alive, still idyllically warm and meek.

He simply wanted to protect that fragile humanity, he needed to protect the last kindling of heat in this world. It hurt that she could not seem to understand that.

“Do not take me for a fool, as I certainly am not one. What you seem to miss, however, is that I love you with so much of my heart that I find myself with no other choice. I trust you not to flee, but I must be assured no-one is coming to take you away from me, and the only way to do such thing is to keep you by my side at all times.” He managed a guileless smile that unknowingly sent her heart into conflict. “The very instant I saw you, my heart compelled me to be at your service. I exist to protect you. Ask me anything, and I will see it done, but do not ask me to forsake you in that manner.”

Bringing one bound hand upward, his curled lips delicately pressed against her skin in an ardent and chaste kiss. His words made her heart flutter. Never had someone loved her so wholly, so fervently and reverently that it made her soul sing. There was no deceit in his words, the slight sheen of his teary eyes was proof enough.

“But...” She started, protests nearly dying on her lips. “Is this really l-love? Love is freedom, love is choice. Moreso, love is about being vulnerable, too. It is natural for you to fear my demise, as much as I fear yours, but you must not let this fear control you.”

She turned her hand around, allowing her fingers to tenderly caress his jawline and reddened cheeks. He seemed to relax against her touch, but a tense darkness still lingered in his eyes.

Louis hummed in thoughtful contentment and needily rubbed his cheek against her warm touch like a frightened rabbit. Her heart pounded against her rib cage with both love and fearfulness.

“But is love truly such a tender thing?” 

He broke the heavy silence in almost a daze. His voice was bereft and distraught with reflection. Her stomach did flips as he took each finger between his slightly cold lips, laying gentle, individual kisses upon each one, before continuing.

“You might have a thousand years on me, Divine Dragon, but, of love, I have a lifetime of experience over you. Love is much too rough, too malapert, too boisterous...” He briefly trailed off.  “And it pricks like a thorny bush, a lesson that I have learned the hard way. But I will happily bleed for you.”

Louis laid a final kiss on her lips, taking a moment to savour her warmth, something he will be without for a long while. Alear wanted to cry and beg him to release her, now knowing that discussing her freedom philosophically was fruitless, but the look of sheer adoration in his eyes once again gave her pause.

“I will never allow you to leave me, my love.”

*_*_*_*_*

Fire Emblem Masterlist

Engage Masterlist

[andsoshespins]

Wednesday’s Words

I have felt an eerie sense of calm since last night and into this evening. Maybe my daily yoga routines after my Jillian workouts have been helping with this? 

Mindy Kaling reminds me of one of my best friends, and I wonder if this is the reason I adore her so much. 

Related: Danny Castellano could get it.  

Related: Why does Chris Messina actually look hot with bleached hair?  It should make no sense.  But it makes too much sense.  For no reason. 

In watching The West Wing special on HBO Max, I obviously went down a little rabbit hole when I realized how yummy Dulé Hill looks in his 40s...

...And I learned that he played one of my favorite characters, Sam Sam the Onion Man, in the movie version of the book that made me love reading, Holes.

Related: Even as a kid, Sam’s was one of my favorite of the overlapping storylines, and there is this kiss between him and the schoolteacher (Was I projecting even then...?!) that always made me “Ooooooh....” 

(I should rewatch this because it’s probably much more chaste with adult eyes than 12-year-old seeing more seduction than existed.)

Moments like those give me glimpses of strange clarity and harmony, like my life makes sense in a strange but perfect way. 

Okay, I realize that sounds dramatic for learning that an actor played a character you like before you knew him as an actor.  But still...

Also, Louis Sachar is a genius. Period.

My mother had a ridiculous dream that she couldn’t protect my brother from a wolf’s attack.  On the same night, my brother awoke with a pain in his arm and part of a song about a mother in his head.  I will not lie and say that this did not unsettle me. 

Being able to sit outside and do work for a few hours on this November afternoon has been a highlight of the week.

[hamanuelton]

my favorite parts of hamilton:

- “I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.”

- every time Leslie Odom Jr. as aaron burr begins another part with “how did a bastard, orphan-“ or like in that same way ‘cause he doesn’t always start it that way but you know what I mean

- the way Leslie Odom Jr. as My Boi Burr™️ says “well, the world got around, they said, ‘this kid is insane, man!’”

- also when Leslie Odom Jr. as A. Burr says

“WHAT’S YOUR NAME, MAN?!”

- “our man saw his future drip-dripping down the drain, a pencil to his temple, connected it to his brain”

- “Alexander Hamilton. My name is Alexander Hamilton. And there’s a million things I haven’t done, but just you wait, just you wait...”

- background “just you wait, just you wait”’s as hammy’s putting on a new jacket and ensemble is praising nyc

- “and me? i’m the damn fool that shot him.”

- “Burr, sir” + the continuation of this all throughout

- “If you talk you’re gonna get shot” / FORESHADOWING WOOOEEEEWOOOOO

- “i’m John Laurens in the place to be”

- Lafayette’s fuckinf accent

- “BRRRAH! BRRAAAH! HERCULES MULLIGAN UP IN IT LOVIN IT”

- “if you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for”

- “‘Onarchy?”

- hey, yo, i’m just like my country, i’m young, scrappy, and hungry—

- the way Odom Leslie Jr. as The Hamburrglar™️ says ‘shot’ and they all take a shot

- this ⤵️

- Hammy getting //flustered// about friendship

- WHEN ARE THESE COLONIES GONNA RISE UP

- Angelica’s face when Burr is tryna tell her bout herself and she shows him up and ships him out

- Act 1: 6. Farmer Refuted

- honorable mention: “my dog speaks more eloquently than thee!" "but strangely, your mange is the same." "is he in jersey?”

- King George pouting

- Jonathan Groff’s overarticulation of each syllable as King George is a work of art

- “♪ Da-da-da-dat-da-dat-da-da-da-dai-ah-da! ♪ Da-da-da-da-dai-ah-da! ♪

- “Everybody! —“

- “We keep meeting.”

- “i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory. when’s it gonna get me? in my sleep? seven feet ahead of me?”

- “See, I never thought I’d live past twenty.”

- “this is not a moment, it’s the movement”

- “I’m laughin’ in the face of casualties and sorrow, for the first time, I’m thinkin’ past tomorrow!”

- “dying is easy, young man, living is harder!”

- “i’m being honest. i’m working with a third of what our Congress promised.”

- “you need all the help you can get. i have some friends. Laurens, Mulligan, Marquis de Lafayette, okay, what else?” — “we’ll need some spies on the inside, some king’s men who might let some things slide.”

- “watch this obnoxious, arrogant, loudmouth bother be seated at the right hand of the father.”

- “Martha Washington named her feral tomcat after him” — “That’s true.”

- “Yo, if your marry a sister, you’re rich, son!” — “Is it a question of ‘if’, Burr, or which one?” and then the little ‘hey’ ‘hey’ thing they do gets me every time

- literally the use of yo throughout the production fucking gets me every single fucking time

- “i’m writin’ a letter nightly. now my life gets better, every letter that you write me. — THE PURE UNBRIDLED SENSE OF FORESHADOWING IN “laughin’ at my sister, cuz she wants to form a harem” — ft. “i’m just sayin’, if you really loved me, you would share him!”

- the irony in “Eliza, i don’t have a dollar to my name”, you’ll be on the $10 bill, my man

- top-notch brain

- Angelica TRIED TO TAKE A BITE OF ME

- the way Anthony Ramos as John Laurens says “alright, alright. that’s what i’m talkin’ about!” and also the face that he makes

- hunger-pang frame

- “You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied.” — “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You forget yourself.” — “You’re like me. I’m never satisfied.” — “Is that right?” — “I have never been satisfied.” — “My name is Angelica Schuyler.” — “Alexander Hamilton.” — “Where’s your fam’ly from?” — “Unimportant. There’s a million things I haven’t done but just you wait, just you wait...”

- tbh the way ‘Schuyler’ is spelled is oddly satisfying to me

- honestly just the way LMM says Alexander Hamilton+/ my name is Alexander Hamilton, and there’s a million things i haven’t done, ‘just you wait, just you wait...’ throughout the production

- “i’m the oldest and the wittiest and the gossip in new york city is insidious”

- “You are the worst, Burr.”

- Act 1: 12. The Story of Tonight (Reprise)

- “love doesn’t discriminate, between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes”

- “love doesn’t discriminate, between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes and we keep living anyway. we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes. and if there’s a reason i’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died—“

- “Chick-a-plao!”

- the way they say ‘raise a glass’ is both elegant and (appropriately) reverent

- “i go back to new york and my apprenticeship” — i shouted MY BOI HERCULES MULLIGAN UP IN IT LOVIN IT DID NOT JUST SAY THAT, IF HE ACTUALLY LEFT AND ISN’T JUST UNDERCOVER OR SOME SHIT IMMA WRITE LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER

- the minute General Charles Les came into the picture i hated him so hard, even though his literal first word was ‘Whee!!!!’, though i can appreciate the sentiment and what LMM was tryna do there

- “Washington cannot be left to his devices indescisive, from crisis to crisis” — sweet baby jesus that alliteration, and jon rua totally pulled it off (i hate General Charles Lee not the person who played him, i can also appreciate the fact that as an actor it takes a lot of talent to be able to make you hate a character so easily, also shoutout to Jonathan Groff as King Georgey-Boy™️, Sydney James Harcourt as james reynolds, and the general way LMM somehow made me fed up/turn on Alexander with the whole scene with him and Maria Reynolds — and not only that but somehow redeemed himself to me which is easier said than done for characters and people alike.. i’ve been hurt too much to play like that.

- Act 1: 15. Ten Duel Commandments

- honorable mention: “if you don’t reach peace, that’s alright. time to get some pistols and a doctor on site. you pay him in advance, you treat him with civility. you have him turn around so he can have deniability.”

- Act 1: 17. That Would Be Enough

- honorable mention: the melody that LMM went with for that turn of phraseis a truly beautiful thing

- “Immigrants:” — “We get the job done.”

- THE FACT THAT MY MAIN MAN HERCULE MULLIGAN WAS ON THE INSIDE NOT ONLY DID I CALL IT BUT DAMN HE REALLY GOT THAT GOOD HOT TRIBUTE HE DESERVED

- “To my brother’s a revolutionary covenant! I’m runnin’ with the sons of liberty and I am lovin’ it! See, that’s what happens when you up against the ruffians. We’re in the shit now, somebody gotta shovel it! Hercules Mulligan, I need no introduction, when you knock me down I get the fuck back up again!”

- Act 1: 21. What Comes Next

- honorable mention: “i’m so blue” — the little squat that Groffsauce does as the light turns blue really got to me

- Act 1: 22. Dear Theodosia

- Leslie Odom Jr.’s voice is so ding dang delightfully airy

- honorable mention: “You have my eyes. You have your mother’s name. When you came into the world, you cried and it broke my heart.”

- Act 1: 23. Non-Stop

- as someone with siblings i can appreciate that they’re bickering like that’s just what they are

- “I was chosen for the constitutional convention! *squeal*”

- “Burr, we studied and we fought and we killed for the notion of a nation we now get to build. For once in your life, take a stand with pride. I don’t understand how you stand to the side.”

- Act 2: 1. What’d I Miss?

- honorable mention: “But the sun comes up and the world still spins.”

- Act 2: 2. Cabinet Battle #1

- honorable mention: “DOIN’ WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS YOU DO IN MONTICELLO!”

- tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

- “Daddy, daddy, look.... My name is Philip. I am a poet. I wrote this poem just to show it. And I just turned nine. You can write rhymes but you can’t write mine.” - “What!” - “I practice French and play piano with my mother.” — “Uh-huh!” — “I have a sister but I want a little brother.” — “Okay!” — “My daddy’s trying to start America’s bank. Un deux trois quatre cinq!” — “Bravo!” — “Hey, our kid is pretty great.”

- as much as i hate Act 2: 4. Say No To This (because for some reason i though Alexander Hamilton was better than that) Jasmine Cephas Jones sings in it is like a hot knife through butter — namely; “My husband’s doin’ me wrong beatin’ me, cheatin’ me, mistreatin’ me...”... I guess maybe I understand it ‘cause damn Jasmine Cephas Jones is so ding dang pretty and ding dang talented and wow what a remarkable person

- the way that Lin says “And her body’s saying, ‘hell, yes’ is um.. 😓

- “You see, that was my wife you decided to” — “Fuuuu—“

- Act 2: 5. The Room Where It Happens

- honorable mention: “Bros.”

- “Talk less. Smile more.” LMM being a dramatic bastard

- Act 2: 6. Schuyler Defeated

- Act 2: 7. Cabinet Battle #2

- “revolution is messy but now is the time to stand."

- honorable mention: “Ooh!!”

- “We signed a treaty with a King whose head is now in a basket. Would you like to take it out and ask it? ‘Should we honor our treaty, King Louis’ head?’ ‘Uh... do whatever you want, I’m super dead.’”

- Thomas Jefferson all like “but sir do we not fight for freedom” MY BAD SIR YOU ARE A SLAVE-OWNER HOW ABOUT YOU NOT

- mentioning Lafayette because apparently LMM has no problem with breaking the fourth wall

- “Daddy’s calling.”

- “I’m in the cabinet. I am complicit in watching him grabbin’ at power and kiss it. If Washington isn’t gon’ listen to disciplined dissidents, this is the difference. This kid is out!”

- “Southern motherfuckin’ Democratic-Republicans!”

- “The emperor has no clothes.”

- “Sir, I don’t know what you heard but whatever it is Jefferson started it.” — “Thomas Jefferson resigned this morning.” — “You’re kidding.” — “I need a favor.” — “Whatever you say, sir, Jefferson will pay for his behavior.” — “I’ll use the press. I’ll write under a pseudonym, you’ll see what I can do to him—“ — “Yes! He resigned you can finally speak your mind!” — “Ha. Good luck defeating you, sir.” - “I’m sorry, what?”

- Act 2: 10. I Know Him

- “—Vice President.” — “— No more Mr. Nice President.”

- “Sit down, John, you fat motherf—“

- Act 2: 12. We Know

- honorable mention: “You see that was my wife you decided to—“ — “WHAT—“

- Act 2: 13. Hurricane

- Act 2: 14. The Reynolds Pamphlet

- honorable mention: *DEEP VOICE* “DAMN”

- Act 2: 15. Burn

- i’ll be the first to say i wasn’t a huge fan of Eliza at first aside from Phillipa Soo’s killer voice

- this gave me a lot of respect for her

- honorable mention: “You have married an Icarus. He has flown too close to the sun.”

- Act 2: 16. Blow Us All Away

- i would like to point out that tweet where someone @‘s LMM about not mentioning Philip’s hot and he responds “I’M FAIRLY F**CKING SURE I DID”, y’know ⤵️

- “The ladies say my brain’s not where the resemblance stops.”

- “God, you’re a fox.”

- Act 2: 17. Stay Alive (Reprise)

- The ‘I know, I know. Shh.’ and the full circle back to his mom teaching him french on the piano really got to me for the beautiful artistry in it but also damn them feels

- Act 2: 18. It’s Quiet Uptown

- “I spend hours in the garden. I walk alone to the store and it’s quiet uptown. I never liked the quiet before. I take the children to church on Sunday, a sign of the cross at the door, and I pray. That never used to happen before.”

- “Philip, you would like it uptown. It’s quiet uptown.”

- “You knock me out, I fall apart.”

- “Eliza, do you like it uptown? It’s quiet uptown.”

- “There are moments that the words don’t reach. There is suffering too terrible to name. You hold your child as tight as you can and push away the unimaginable. The moments when you’re in so deep it feels easier to just swim down.”

- “There are moments that the words don’t reach. There is a grace too powerful to name. We push away what we can never understand. We push away the unimaginable.”

- “Can you imagine?”

- Act 2: 19. The Election of 1800

- honorable mention: “And they say I’m a Francophile: at least they know I know where France is!”

- “You used to work on the same staff” — “Whaaaat.”

- “Honestly, it’s kind of draining.” — “Burr...” — “Sir!” — “Is there anything you wouldn’t do?” — “No. I’m chasing what I want. And you know what?” — “What?” — “I learned that from you.” / this moment made the blow that he voted for Jefferson like a damn hole in my chest and i actually really felt for Burr. i get Hammy’s reluctance, i think if anything he was hoping voting for Jefferson would give Burr the chance to have experience as VP and then the next election he might vote for him then depending

- Act 2: 20. Your Obedient Servant

- A. Burr

- A. Ham

- “I just need to write something down.” / really resonated as one of the last things they showed him doing before going off to the duel, his life really was writing and that was the perfect way to say that in a very subtle sort of way. i really appreciate it artistically, whether it was intentionally so or not.

- Act 2: 22. The World Was Wide Enough

- okay but first of all i would like to comment on the fact that Ariana DeBose PLAYS THE GODDAMN BULLET, I JUST

- THE FACT THAT THE BULLET HAS A PART

- “This man will not make an orphan of my daughter.” / this made me really sympathize with Burr, as well as when he tries to go towards Hamilton (at least in the play but I sincerely hope that was historically accurate) / but also that fact that Theodosia Burr was lost at sea at 29 makes me sad because Hamilton’s life was taken to give her one and then she just up and disappears in a freak accident

- Act 2: 23. Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

- the orphanage got to me

- i loved that he (LMM) didn’t end it with himself or anything

- he let Phillipa Soo tear my heart out

- it killed me but i died quite happily

- and really what more could you ask for.

[jordantanevisualessay]

Nicolas Connor Barnes

My mom named me after the actor Nicolas Cage and I hate it, its horrible. Also my dad apparently named me after Sinéad O'Connor you know who she is? the one who sang “Cause nothing compares to you” that girl who is now a crack head so my dad just pulled her last name and put it in mine. Anyway that’s my name.

Tell me about your family?

My Mom’s family is a bunch of crack heads. My dad’s side obviously don’t know my dad, but I still keep in contact with my Aunty, Uncle, Grandma and Grandpa from that side. My mom was a single mom, she remarried. But besides all that they are all from Australia and just plain white. 

Describe your aesthetic

Extra , Boujee, Colourful would you say I’m colourful 

What do you mean by colourful?

Like I have a lot of colours, like yellows and blues and purples.

Oh like you’re colour palette?

Yes, so yeah I said colourful, would you describe my style as designer? Like is that a thing? 

What designer brands are you into?

Gucci, Louis Vuitton, love me some Prada, Dior, Chanel, Dolce, Versace, Bottega Venetta, Jimmy Choo, Fendi, I could be here all day.

So just anything designer essentially?

Of course

So obviously we have known each other since high school, and we have seen a lot of our friends change dramatically, so my question is do you think you have changed since high school up until now? Or even seen a change during high school?

I think I have definitely started to come out of my shell more, like I felt more comfortable to kind of wear what I want, I don’t give a fuck now, like I don’t care if you don’t like it, If I wanted to wear a fur coat to class bitch I will and I’ve done it. 

Through this project I have been reflecting back in year 9 till like both of us in our 2nd year of Uni 

Oh I had terrible style in year 9, actually I think we all did, we all thought we were hot fly and sexy.

How would you describe your sense of humour?

Certainly very dark and inappropriate, but also like I find very immature things quite funny. You know actually imma go real deep here, the reason I think I enjoy immature jokes is cause I never got the chance to be immature as a kids and that’s a fact. Hit the dong on the head with that. But yeah that’s the thing with you and I, feel like we both missed out on our childhood’s and kind of being a kid almost, so yeah that’s probably why I’m the way I am. I find certain stuff really funny but at the same time very mature for my age.

Do you feel like people don’t like that? 

Mainly people would just say oh you can’t laugh at that. But I would generally say it turns some people off but at the same time I don’t really care, I’ll do what I want.

In regards to your humour and perdsonality do you feel like you need to hold back at times? 

I just don’t care. If you don’t like my humour you can just fuck off somewhere else. Like what I find very self deprecating humour funny some people obviously don’t and like I find that very funny and if don’t like it its not my problem.

So tell me, what are your influences?

In terms of what like in life?

Yeah, before we get into like you’re aesthetic influences, I would love to know your life influences or even you why

Definitely my mother, 100% my mom and also just my self influence of wanting to do well for myself. But its definitely because of my mom I am where I’m at, she’s the only influence I need. 

What actually got you into designer clothes?

This is going to sound really stupid, but around the time of year 11 was when I started to become interested in it. And around that time I started watching, this is so terrible, I started watching you know house wives and all of their designer wear,  it was all a different world to me. So I would be like ooh I like that and would google it have a look at the website and find more stuff and then it was a continuous thing, each week a new episode would come out you would see it. Also a lot of the music I listen to its all about the Gucci bags and all of that. It wasn’t until about year 13 my last year of high school I started to watch more Youtube luxury videos of like unboxings, but yeah in year 13 was when I was like I really want these things but can’t afford them. And I actually started to buy fake designer items. And that was around about 6 months and then I stopped, got myself a nice little collection, then once we came out of lockdown the following year, I had all this money and I was like you know what I always wanted to go and buy something and that’s where it started and it hasn’t stopped. So now I don’t buy any fake designer items my stuff is real. A lot of people can call me shallow or whatever but in a way that’s what I put value and that’s my pride, happy and joy. 

Do you feel like you value objects more than people?

Yes omg facts, and they wont turn your back on you they will be right where you left them yesterday.

I know you mentioned before that one of your first designer influences was house wives, what actually got you into the show?

I still watch them, it was because I had a lot going on for me personally during that time, and for me that show even today its the same reason, you see a bunch of people fighting all the time, they go on holiday, they go shopping, and that is a life, not like what I want to have but a life you can almost live by curiously through, so I can put my shit on the side and invest in someone else’s drama, cause its not my drama so I can watch you fight and its not my problem. And it just spiralled out of control but like I have a picture of fucking  Lil’ Kim on my wall dressed in Chanel like she is obviously an influence on me and so is foxy brown. And if whoever asked who are your style icons and I know they are woman and we cannot wear the same things, I mean we could but it would be very strange, but those are my style influences.

I know in this day of age a lot of people are crossing those gender boundaries when it comes to style, is that something you would want to explore?

Like would I want walk across the street in heels, no. Thats not for me but I generally feel once I move out of home, cause my mom does make some comments on what I buy and decide to wear, but once I do move out of home I will be able to wear more. Im not huge on purses or anything like that not for me. Honey I sit there all the time looking at them, like they are so beautiful. But still not for me, but still there are some for when I do move out of home then I may be able to start looking into that more. I more kind of want to explore that unisex area of more feminine fashion but also masculine at the same time. I wouldn’t go for a purse which is feminine but I just want that balance. 

Would you use/wear a purse or like have them on display?

Like look at my Chanel bag I’ve never warn, but yeah once I do move out of home there are bags I do want like the Chanel Boy bag, its not a super feminine its more one of the masculine bags they have but it certainly not a ‘guys’ bag. It’s probably one of those things that I will grow into at some stage.

Theres certainly a scale of some kind of  masculinity and Femininity what are your personal thoughts on that and where would you fall on that scale?

Personally for me, Im certainly not the most masculine fellow out there but there are way more feminine people than me as well, but I would say I’m in the middle but leaning more towards the masculine. Im certainly in that middle point because there are some part of me that can be quite feminine.

So yeah back when we talked about Influences you talked about housewives and but then mentioned a bit about music so tell me more

I listen to a lot of current things when I was young like whatever Britney Spears had put out, whatever was just on the radio, we didn’t have Spotify or anything like that, and then it go into 2014 I got very interested in Nicki Minaj, she’s kind of into her fashion as well but I didn’t really take any notice of her. This is really strange but I found out about Lil’ Kim cause they both had beef, instantly liked Lil’ Kim more than Niki Minaj, and that’s when I began to notice she was a bit more out there. One of the first songs I listened to by Lil’ Kim the first line was “Being the first rap bitch to rock Chanel” and it was just very prevalent, and even all of her outfits and everything was very extra. 

What Is the main difference between Lil’ Kim and Niki Minaj? 

Honestly they are quite similar to each other, and thats why they had problems. For example Doja Cat, I almost would say Niki Minaj, Cardi B and Doja Cat are in the same box in terms of how they are very poppy, rappy. But Lil’ Kim is outta of the hood, and she’s never really done like pop music its very hardcore rap. Same with Foxy Brown, again all hardcore rap and even some of their music has heavy depth. I was thinking there’s a quote by Foxy Brown “And if you only knew I hold my minks at nights with cheap, Or no other hands can hold me right” Things like that are just like ouch, like I feel that. Obviously they are both very like into their designer labels so I was like me too. I just love that they don’t keep it PG and I can relate to that as I’m very outspoke myself. I just love me some hood music. 

Yeah and you just started recently going clubbing now too

Yeah I got to the point where I was like you know what I need to experience it at least once before I’m too old, and now I just keep going. I actually saw old videos of me slut dropping and back in that moment I thought I was hot as fuck but after seeing that not anymore.

What Clubs do you go to?

One of the first places I went to was Shadows which in enjoyed since they played early 2000s music I was all up in on that. Went to Ding Dong, it was creepy, didn’t like it, it was a very satanic vibe. It was an underground bar with a bunch of strip polls and shit like that, it was weird. Bar 101 is terrible, been once and never again. Went to Cassette for like 4 hours, Cassette was so much fun and then I went to Family Bar for like the rest if the night. But yeah my main bar/club is Family Bar. Even though there is just drugs everywhere shirtless people like where am I. 

What you mentioned before about once you move out and have more freedom where do you see yourself in that future ahead?

Hopefully I will be graduated by then. I really don’t think my style is going to changed its just going to be more of it. Alot more outfits, shoes, bags, hopefully some diamonds. Love me some diamonds. Me as a person, I don’t think I’m going to change much either, I say that because I look at everyone else I grew up with especially  from high school I would say everyone changed completely compared to myself, some for better some for worst. I’ve felt like I’ve been consistent with who I am, so I don’t think that’s gonna change. I’ve never had that rebellious phase that most of us goes through. I had to keep it real, having that childhood innocence taken from you and having to be mature early on, theres no room for that rebellious side, there’s so many bigger things in life than just vaping and doing that shit. But like I still have my fun you know, just have my head screwed on straight. 

How have you coped with this current lockdown?

I’ll be honest with you, I’ve really struggled with this lockdown. Like I just don’t wanna do anything, I will literally just sit here dead sad, so I just start drinking and I will just drink, like last night I got fucked. I’ve drank everyday, I’ve finished a bottle of grey goose in a couple of days. I’m just really struggling but I know once this lockdown is over, my life will pick itself over. Im not worried I will become like an alcoholic or something but its been rough. 

Tell me about your Instagram Lux with Nico 

Oh no, oh god, okay well its my Instagram page, which I haven’t on for a long time. It was a way for me to get into the community of designer lovers, like I’ve met some amazing people through it. Especially here in New Zealand, people don’t really get the whole designer thing.  My mom is always like what the fuck, why do you need this, and a lot of my friends don’t understand it either but they kind of accepted it but I do feel some sort of judgement from some people, they just don’t get it. So its nice to have that community not in a bragging kind of way like omg I brought a Gucci bag, and there’s other people excited for you and when they get something you get excited for them, and its a nice community to be apart of it. You get to see a lot of other peoples things and they get to see yours and you can get into those conversations. It’s nice but it always does has it dark side to it, its like a blog and you are wanting that blog to grow and they only way for it to grow is when you buy things. So I felt this kind of self pressure to be like “omg I haven’t gotten anything a new thing in like a week, what am I gonna post” so then I would go look at Prada like go looking for anything to buy just so I can upload something, to keep growing my account. Cause I did this everyday for awhile, and I just ran out of things. You look at other peoples accounts and they buy like Louis Vuitton bag like every week. I came to realise that was very fucking stupid, you should only buy things that you want and can afford. So yeah there is that dark side to it and you can go down that hole, you feel like you have to buy things for other people to look at. Which really it’s not what it’s about.

Do you wish to continue with that account and going into that social media realm?

I do, but I got this point where I ran out of things to post about. Like do I start posting pictures of the same thing but in a different angle? I mean I’ve brought things that I haven’t posted. But for me if i’m going to start posting again, I want it to be regular thing. And yeah I can post maybe weekly and space it out but you can’t really grow your account, you need to be very consistent if you want your account to really grow. I got to like 300 followers in a month, like I know that’s not huge and that’s even 3 times that what I have on my own personal account. After awhile the numbers were kind of slowish because you reach all the people that are interested in your shit. More people did come and I even had people like I had this girl who did custom designs on designer items and I had people like that who reached out to me, being like “oh we love your collection, we would love to do this for you etc” that’s stuff is nice and all but I did get to the point where I was like I don’t know what else to do here. 

Using your imagination is there anything else you would love to do besides posting of your designer items etc? Like even create your own stuff?

I would love to make my own collection of something, actually I would love to sell shoes, like design my own shoes. Would love love to do that, but then i’m like how would even start that sort of thing, would people even buy my shit. 

Would you say your favourite designer item is shoes?

Well, the only things i’ve brought this year have been all shoes. I mean I love my shoes, that’s my thing. 

And on top of all of that your studying psychology

Yeah I’m wanting to get into the Clinical side of psychology, I’m currently in my 2nd year doing a bachelor  of Psychology at University of Auckland. I think the reason of me wanting to get into that field stems from childhood things, like all of the people studying psychology are fucked up so. But yeah I would love to help someone else and give them that second chance. Currently at the moment we are doing a section on relationships and intimacy, I would love to be a relationship therapist that would be great, like that to me is super interesting. 

Why are you more interested in the relationship side of psychology? 

Don’t know really, just very interesting to me, seeing how relationships work through its ups and downs and all that kind of stuff. And for order for me to get into Clinical I will need to get a PHD and write a whole thesis, so I was kind of thinking of doing something on the lines of retail therapy, and I feel that would be very interesting for me to explore in a psychological level. 

So I know you are wanting to become a psychologist after your studies but do you think you would ever get into designing your own stuff like you mentioned before?

I would love to have my own brand or design something, that’s not a realistic goal though. You have to work fucking hard, everyone will say the work you put into is what you get out of it. You can put your heart and soul and even money all kinds of shit, but if no one buys you’re shit you’re not successful. So half of it is yeah people have to like it and want to buy it cause otherwise you ain’t going to be making shit. But if you go into a job in like psychology there is good money associated with and there is money for it, so for me that’s the most financially responsible decision. 

Were you born here in New Zealand?

Yeah I’m actually from Palmerston North, we lived briefly in Rotorua and then lived in Auckland up until now. I don’t really have a sense of belonging to a particular place, like Auckland yeah I grew up in the city and I have respect towards it but I don’t wanna live here, but also know that I’m very luck and very thankful for being in Auckland cause I don’t not think I could survive anywhere else. I know that sounds terrible but like Wellington I don’t like the atmosphere, Christchurch is the same. And anything smaller than that no thanks, we live in the city and I’m very thankful for that, we’re in the most established place in the country, and I’m grateful that I live here in Auckland. Im a mother fucking city girl. 

Do you wanna move outside of New Zealand then?

I know for a fact I do not want to stay here, I would actually love to live in Dubai or like Sidney or even London. Theres nothing really keeping me here in New Zealand, like I don’t have a huge family or anything and the opportunities here are very far in-between, cause I do feel like in New Zealand there’s a certain place you can end up, and no room for growth but I feel like in other countries there’s more opportunities, more money to be made and even more places you can go. So that my reason. 

Like you mentioned before about not having a lot of family holding you here, I know for a lot of people they are rooted to where they come from and have that connection what are your thoughts on that?

Yeah I just feel like this is where I live and that’s about it, I don’t see myself being here forever.

Do want that family aspect like in your future would like to start your own family?

I think so, I want to find a place where I can call my own, I mean you never know once you explore the world. Its quite interesting thinking about life like that. Yeah I’ve never realised how much your childhood affects you in your adult life until now. Especially of the way I am, that I’m very closed off. I do have that part of me that wishes for a family which I didn’t have growing up but then at the same time I’ve gone along time without it so why do I need it. Honestly I feel like would be a good parent but I don’t think I would want children, cause I would always try to do the best for my children and at the same time I don’t have real desire to have them. 

How are you with people Generally?

Oh still hate people, I think everyone is a piece of shit.

Final question of the day but what are your life goals? 

Having a job, be financially stable and just do the best I can for me personally. I know that sounds very boring and cliché but that’s the truth.

[evenstevensranked]

#24: Season 3, Episode 10 - “Hutch Boy”

School bully Lloyd Offler targets Louis as his next victim. Meanwhile, Ren’s hair is accidentally dyed blonde!

First off, I just want to say that I'm dedicating this review to Brad Bufanda, the actor who played Lloyd. It was brought to my attention on Instagram that he just recently passed away on November 1st. He was 34. Very strange timing because this episode was next on my list already and I was working on the review as I found out. My heart kinda sank. I feel really weird segueing into my regular, light-hearted style now after the fact -- but I figure it's actually better to keep things light during darker times. So yeah. Let's do this!

This one opens with one of the most incredible things ever: a flying squirrel. Not an actual flying squirrel of course, but a mechanical one that Louis and Twitty rigged to scare Tom -- who happens to have an extremely specific and strange fear of flying squirrels. I wonder what instilled that fear? lol. How many squirrels have you seen flyin' around out there? 

This bit used to have me in stitches. Tom’s terrified scream is something you have to hear for yourself. 

Just then, some guy named Lloyd Offler approaches them and starts yelling at Louis for giving him "hard looks." Like, excuse me? I'll never understand how bullies pick their victims. Louis is the best, leave him alone. I know that Louis, Tawny, and Tom are supposed to be outcasts of sorts (leaving out Twitty because we’ve seen that he’s actually pretty popular)... But still. Louis is cool imo. Lloyd walks away, but not before letting Louis know that he’s on his radar now. Great. 

~Radar~

Cut to the subplot. Ren volunteers her hair to the “Future Beauticians” Club, and let me tell you... I had such an ah-ha moment when I was re-watching this episode. For whatever reason, I always thought the club was called the Future PETITIONS club. Ruby says the name so fast it’s hard to understand. I was always so confused, like... What the heck is that? What petitions? And what do they have to do with dyeing hair? And then it hit me. I kid you not, it was like the skies opened up! "Beauticians” obviously makes so much more sense, lol. 

To Ren’s horror, her hair turns out platinum blonde. Ruby has a flashback to the moment it all went wrong. We see that mid-gossip, she was distracted and poured soda into the dye mixture instead of whatever else she was supposed to use. I always felt personally responsible for this accident because she starts off the gossip with "So, I'm talkin' to Brittany..." Don't drag me into this, Ruby. 

At least it was “natural” soda. 

Ren is furious at first but soon notices that her hair is garnering attention. So she starts strutting down the hall to a "Walking on Sunshine" rip off. 

This is another situation like the "Staying Alive" rip off in Stevens Genes. From memory, I would've bet money that the actual "Walking on Sunshine" was used here!! But nope. I'm still fascinated by how the brain can be tricked like that. Girls are staring at Ren with jealousy now and guys are checking her out... including Louis -- who doesn’t recognize her at first. It’s highly disturbing. 

“hey, blondie... how u doin?” - Louis stop. Ignoring the fact that it’s Ren, it’s so weird to see Louis attempt to hit on someone. *shivers with disgust* I take back what I said about him being cool. 

At lunch, the gang is laughing about how Lloyd’s name is spelled with two L’s. “Maybe he pronounces it La-Loyd?” Tawny jokes. Louis dies of laughter and says “...And my name’s La-Louis” so sarcastically. IT GETS ME EVERY TIME. Shia is so full of joy here and the whole scene has such an organic feel to it. You get the sense that these are real friends at school having a laugh. It’s contagious and warms my heart. 

So pure.

Suddenly.......... this iMovie “suspense” sound effect plays twice as Lloyd appears hovering behind Louis asking “You having a good time, La-Louis?” Why are these double L jokes so funny to me?! Oh my god. Lloyd picks up Louis’ sandwich, licks it dramatically, and puts it back on his tray. Nice guy! Louis tries to reason with him, but Lloyd refuses and says “See you in shop class” ominously.

During shop class Louis is so afraid of what Lloyd might do, he’s quite literally shaking like a leaf. Twitty tries to reassure him by saying the teacher is nearby and won’t let anything happen to him. But then the teacher is all “I’m gonna step out of the room for a minute and I will take my time.” This is so good. Now that they’re alone, Lloyd snatches away Louis' “shelf” project and puts it in the hutch he's constructing. This is a great bit though because Louis decides to face Lloyd then and apologize (even though he did nothing wrong.) It’s really nice. Louis is so sincere and mature here. Lloyd seemingly accepts the apology... but then stuffs Louis into the hutch as well. (see cover photo)

Tom politely confronts Lloyd insisting he let Louis out of the hutch, before he says “I’m sorry it’s come to this...” and randomly goes completely black belt on Lloyd to everyone's shock. Then again, was it to everyone’s shock? Because their classmates emerged from their workstations, conveniently holding up wood for Tom to break lol. I love how the teacher walks back in while Tom is kickin’ around like he’s Jackie Chan, and has one of those “f this, I’m out” moments: 

This show’s humor was way ahead of its time. 

Louis is beyond shocked and it always cracks me up when Tom calmly helps Louis out of the hutch and whispers “Come on, buddy.” I don’t know what it is... but it’s just so freaking funny. There’s this hilarious ~zen~ music playing as well which is the icing on the cake. There’s a great line later that day when Louis starts evaluating the situation: “If Tom was the biggest wimp at school, and he saved MY butt? That means I’M THE BIGGEST WIMP AT SCHOOL.” ....true tho. Twitty mentions our good ol’ buddy Pete who everyone apparently prays to on this show when he says “Who would’ve known he was an honest to Pete, second degree black belt?!” lol. 

To wrap up Ren’s plot, because not too much else happens: She basically becomes an overtly stereotypical blonde overnight. Constantly saying “oh muh gosh!,” reading fashion magazines during class, and blowing off her commitments to roller skate in the house instead. 

Okay, is she curling her hair now? or did they honestly think we wouldn’t notice that Ren’s hair magically became curly after it was dyed blonde. Who picked this wig? 

She also went out and got a whole new wardrobe to go with her hair or something?! Because these clothes she’s wearing do not seem like stuff she already had in her closet. Ruby rounds up a bunch of blondes from LJH and holds a mini intervention for Ren -- telling her that she’s giving blondes a bad name. And that’s pretty much it! Ruby dyes her hair back to normal.

I love how Ruby left her “a little souvenir” of blonde! I’ve been dyeing one small section of my hair blonde for years now, so this always makes me happy lol. Look at how much body Ren’s “hair” has when she’s blonde and how flat it is when she’s back to normal lol.... seems legit. I also definitely owned that yellow and blue striped top that girl on the left is wearing.

Back to Louis’ drama. Tom is outside casually practicing his martial arts when Louis approaches him with some hot chocolate from Doris. Tom’s so ~in the zone~ that he almost roundhouse kicks Louis in the face. I needed to gif it:

Louis tells Tom that he wants to be just like him, he wants to learn how to fight. Tom agrees to teach Louis ~his ways~ and I swear this is one of my favorite bits EVERRRRRRR. There’s no way I’m typing all of this out. You have to feast your eyes on the greatness yourself:

“Louis... did I mention it takes 9 years to learn my ways?” - This show is absolute GOLD, I do not care what anyone says. 

Who knew Fred Meyers could actually do all of that, though?! So yeah, after telling Lloyd he’d fight him, even though he can’t fight -- Tom tells Louis his only option is to “find his inner strength and harness it.” And Louis, being the actual genius he is, takes that advice quite literally. I also love how Louis just says “meet me in the alley at 7″ .......which alley, bro? Ya also gotta love that “The Rock” reference. (”If you smell what Louis is cookin’!”) This show really did pick the BEST things to reference when it came to pop culture. It feels like Dwayne Johnson is everywhere these days!

The last big scene of the episode is the alley sequence, and I love it so much. Louis has Beans and Twitty secretly help him work a harness he rigged to fly around like some crazy martial arts master just to freak Lloyd out and avoid fighting altogether. It starts off pretty hilarious (Louis literally does the macarena as a “kung fu” move) but then it gets serious for a minute and it’s perfect. Of course, it all goes down in flames and Lloyd sees the wire. It feels so satisfying to reach the heart of a bully. It's great when you start to see Lloyd feel bad about how he’s treated Louis and I freaking love how Louis gives in, but at the same time -- stands up for himself. He tells Lloyd to beat him up, almost pressuring him to do so -- which obviously makes Lloyd NOT want to beat him up. It's great. 

“I’ve come to the realization that if I’m gonna get hit, I’m gonna get hit. You know what you’re gonna wanna do? Get some towels. ‘Cause I’m a bleeder.” - Yesss, Louis. 

This leads to one of my favorite little exchanges in the series. Lloyd immediately becomes a huge softie and wants to know how Louis pulled off the harness trick and they quickly start bonding over engineering. Lloyd is all "I didn't know you were into mechanical stuff!" And Louis says "Yeah, dude. I am. But you were too busy putting me in your hutch." - I'm sooo glad they actually had Louis say that engineering is something he's into! Because otherwise, his inventions come across as nothing but wacky things that only exist to support the gags he pulls with no further explanation. Idk. It's such a short moment, but it makes me so happy every time!!! Louis even gives Lloyd a quick rundown of the materials he used to rig the harness and idk man, it just makes me smile. I LOVE THIS CHARACTER SO MUCH. (I also just noticed that the flying squirrel gag was solid foreshadowing for this harness rig.)

I always get a little sad that Lloyd didn't become a bit of a recurring character for the rest of the season or something. This final scene between them has a ~beginning of a beautiful friendship~ sort of vibe. Lloyd invites Louis to check out his home workshop and ugh it’s so nice. We hardly ever see Louis with any friends outside of his core group, let alone someone else who shares his love of engineering, so maybe that’s why this scene always hits me.  

I really like this episode for some reason. Always have. Like, A LOT. I think it’s because of the big showdown in shop class. And Louis wanting to learn martial arts from Tom. And the flying squirrel. And Louis and Lloyd in the alley. It's all amazing. And Ren’s plot is pretty fun, too. This is just an awesome episode all around. 

Rest in Peace, Brad Bufanda. 

Thanks for reading! And please contribute to the conversation below if ya like. 

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