#but as a normal person i've always been a believer in tv shows not needing three years (that's three times 365 days +1) to produce one

[maddy-ferguson]

Yeah and since this doesnt only involve writers but also other production stuff, i wonder how theyre gonna start filming in may or june? Bec that would also be breaking the strike too... like idk how they are going to work around that. But anyway. My estimation is that the strike will at least take 3-4 months at the very least. So like. Yeah. 2025 release seems more likely bc the strike also involves other production staff

i can't lie to you i don't know shit about how american strikes in the entertainment industry work and i was a baby (6) and not american in 2007 but i mean yeah that season 5 is never seeing the light of day i fear

[loveandmurders]

So I read your 'What Soulmate AU for which slasher?'

And I was wondering if you could write a story for Billy Loomis?

On your wrist: "You gonna die tonight, love"

On their wrist: "And fuck, of course my soulmate is a serial killer" 

Hello love and THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST!!!! Gosh, I've been so excited to write for it, so I hope you'll enjoy it very much <3

Request based on this post.

GHOSTFACE IS MY SOULMATE (Billy Loomis x female reader)

Warnings: no proof reading, morally grey reader, mentions of sexual desire, mentions of killing, Billy plans on killing you, a few strong words.

You were on your own that night. Your parents were out for a little dinner together; they were celebrating their wedding anniversary. You didn’t mind having the house all to yourself for once. You had cooked some noodles, as you were too lazy to do more, and you were distractedly watching TV. Actually, you were barely listening to whatever that was happening on the screen, as your eyes were on your wrist. Your fingers were tracing the words on your skin. Your family and friends always tease you for the first sentence your soulmate would ever say to you: You’re gonna die tonight, love. 

And you had to admit, you didn’t really get it.

Everyone had some “normal” stuff such as “Hey, my name is” or “Hey, I love your dress” or “It’s been a while I wanted to ask you out”. But no, you apparently couldn’t do the boring stuff and you had to have something about love and death. You weren’t too sure if it was a threat to be honest. It could be a sentence said during halloween for instance, or during a horror convention. You loved horror movies, so your family thought that you were gonna meet a guy or a girl or someone doing some slasher cosplay. You wanted to believe that too. It would be too strange for your soulmate to actually want to kill you, right? 

Plus you didn’t really see yourself like the kind of person who could attract serial killers; you weren't Sidney Prescott. You weren’t attracting troubles usually. In fact, your love for horror movies and gruesome stories had always surprised your relatives, because you seemed too sweet to enjoy that kind of thing.

You continued to stare at your wrist. Alright, your soulmate must also like horror stuff and probably enjoyed cosplays. It sounded like a fun soulmate, right? And the nickname showed that they were quite flirtatious. It sounded even better! 

You sighed as you stroked the “tonight” word. You couldn’t count all the time you hoped it would indeed be that night. So many of your friends had already met their mates, and even your parents found each other before your age. You started to worry. Of course, you still had a lot of time and some of your friends didn’t even have one word on their skin because their soulmate died before they met. You thought you were lucky that yours was still around, but you were getting impatient. Your parents told you you should date people even if they weren’t your soulmate, but it felt strange for you. You only wanted them, and no one else. It felt too wrong to kiss someone who wasn’t meant for you. Maybe you were too loyal and romantic.

You sighed once again, nibbling on your food. You tried to focus on the TV, so you would stop thinking about your soulmate. You relaxed a little and you told yourself that you needed to be patient, that one day you would find them and everything would be soft and happy. You grabbed the TV remote and you tried to find something good to watch. What was good when your parents weren’t home or close by was that you could watch whatever you wanted… Including very bloody and violent movies. You had always tried to play it cool about your love for horror movies and especially about slashers, but deep down, nothing was making you hornier than a big killer destroying life for the sake of it.

If you were really honest with yourself, you would admit you were a little bit jealous of the attention Sidney got from Ghostface. Of course, you knew you shouldn’t think something like that. But it sounded very hot. Such a pity you weren’t interesting enough for a killer, because you would love to be called in the middle of the night and threatened by a dangerous murderer... 

Damn, you really hoped your soulmate would understand something like that and wouldn’t think you were a weirdo. You tried to remind yourself that your mate couldn’t think something like that, because they would love all of you, even the darkest part of yourself.

You were wondering what Sidney had you didn’t though. You were sighing once again when the house phone rang and you jumped in surprise. You thought your mother was checking on you or that one of your friends wanted to chat around. Your mouth was full with noodles but you still took the phone, not saying a word while you were chewing. You waited for the person to talk, and you had to admit that you had the strange sensation of having eyes on you. It was a little bit unsettling, but you were probably getting paranoid because of your obsession and because of the local news constantly talking about Ghostface. You heard someone heavily breathing into the phone and you felt goosebumps spreading all over your skin. The sound was ominous and for an instant you had the sensation of being in one of your favourite horror movies. You swallowed your food and continued to wait for the person to speak. Your heart was beating so fast, as if you knew something was going to happen.

“You’re gonna die tonight, love” the stranger finally said and you rolled your eyes, almost face palming yourself.

“And fuck, of course my soulmate is a serial killer” you grumbled. There was a moment of silence after that. “Hey, you’re still there?” you asked

“You’re really messing my plans up, you know that I hope” the killer you guessed was Ghostface grumpily said

“Well, sorry about that… You can still kill me though” you teased. Truth to be told, knowing that your soulmate was a serial killer was making things a lot easier for you; you wouldn’t need to hide your liking for dangerous people at all. Fate was doing things well sometimes.

“I really should because you’ve always been a pain; did you really need to call me a “serial killer” in your first words to me? Always had to hide my wrist because of that.” they continued to argue and you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a little giggle

“Well if you were behaving, I wouldn’t have said that!” you hummed, finding the situation very funny

“You are enjoying yourself way too much, Y/N” Ghostface commented, but you could hear a slight hint of amusement in their voice.

“Maybe.” you smiled “Are you around then?” you asked as you started to look around yourself, trying to find from where the eyes were looking at you

“I am. But I need to find someone else to kill now.” they replied

“Oh, really?” you sounded disappointed “I mean, I’m glad you won’t kill me, but I thought we could meet in person right now?” you asked. You had waited for this moment your whole life, so you weren’t too eager to let them go that easily. Ghostface chuckled.

“So impatient. Don’t worry, love, I’ll be back. Let your room window open and I’ll meet you there in a little while.” they told you

“Promise?” you asked, a little bit worried they were going to disappear from your life now you just found them

“Promise.” they hummed before hanging up

You were on your bed, impatiently waiting for your serial killer. You were trying to read but you couldn’t focus on the words laying in front of your eyes. You parents weren’t back home yet, and you hoped Ghostface was going to show up before they could interrupt anything.

You heard a sound against your wall so you sat up, your heart beating so quickly once more. You nibbled on your bottom lip as you nervously played with your fingers. You had to admit that when the infamous Billy Loomis appeared at your window, you couldn’t believe it. You sat at the edge of your bed as he entered the room before leaning against the wall, the head tilted to the side. You watched each other in silence. Your heart calmed down now you were in the same room, and you could feel the bonds linking the two of you growing and becoming even stronger. You had always found Billy particularly hot, but a lot of people in school thought the same, and he knew it. You couldn’t have thought that the man was actually your soulmate. He finally softly smiled at you.

“Staying silent and not being all over me already? That’s good. You would have annoyed me otherwise” he said and you arched an eyebrow at him

“I knew that popularity was making people become assholes,” you teased and he laughed. He was liking you already. You were truly perfect. He had always thought that his soulmate would be afraid of him, or would be a problem in his masterplan, especially when the words on his wrists seemed to mean you knew the truth about him. But he shouldn’t have worried about it.

“You won’t call the police on me?” he asked you, just to make sure. You quickly shook your head.

“Of course not” you replied seriously this time “You’re my soulmate, I wouldn’t do something like that to you. I don’t mind you’re a killer. Actually, I’m not very surprised” you admitted and he smirked

“Yeah, I’ve noticed your little doodles about slashers in class. That’s why I picked you as my next target. I thought I could have some fun with you.” he told you

“You can still have some fun with me… Just a different kind of fun” you winked and he came closer to you, looking like a predator. He cupped your chin to make you look up at him.

“Already playing with fire, love” he hummed, his eyes were so dark and helding all kinds of promises “Maybe you shouldn’t trust me that easily. I was planning on killing you after all” he continued

“Key word: “was”, love” you smiled as you leaned into his touch. His fingers against your skin were sending electricity down your whole body. 

“Touché” he hummed and leaned so your lips were brushing against his. You boldly cupped his face and brought him even closer, so your mouth crashed onto his. He passionately answered your kiss and he made you lay down on the bed as he topped over you. He let you catch your breath for a second before leaning for another kiss. His touch was absolutely intoxicating and you just couldn’t get enough of him. You wrapped your legs around his waist and you heard him moan against your lips. He seemed to want you as badly as you wanted him. His hands were already freely roaming your body as you tried to press yourself impossibly closer to him.

“Are you gonna make out with me like that at school too?” you couldn’t help to ask, half teasing half serious

“Always” he groaned, clearly in need for more of you

“Thought you were with Sidney” you asked

“Shh, don’t worry, she’s soon to be dead anyways” he replied. His fingers were already under your top.

But you both stilled when you heard the front door being open and your mother calling your name.

“Shit” you mumbled with a pout on your lips. You had forgotten about your parents. Billy stroked your cheek and tried to calm down.

“Go downstairs. Spend some time with them. I’ll wait for them to go to bed to join you once again. You won’t get rid of me that easily” he darkly promised

“Oh yeah?” you teased, but deep down you were so relieved the man didn’t want to leave and was eager to spend as much time as possible with you. “You don’t have anything better to do?” you asked with a little smile.

“You need to make up for disturbing my plans, love” he teased back

“Y/N? You’re upstairs?” your father called for you

“Go, now, I’ll make up to you all you want tonight” you winked at him as you gently pushed him away from you, no matter how awful it felt.

“Promise?” he hummed, already knowing the answer

“Promise, my serial killer” you smiled. He stole another kiss from you before leaving your room.

Hopefully Sidney was going to be dead very soon so your boyfriend would be able to solely focus on you, you thought as you went downstairs, a smile on your face.

“How was your evening, mom, dad? Mine was really great” you said

“Ah yes?” your mother smiled at you, waiting for you to elaborate

“I think I’m in love” you hummed, your head full of love, death, kisses and chaos.

[discar]

HZD Terraforming Base-001 Text Communications Network

Chapter 32 | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index

FlameHairSavior: Varl, where are you?

BoyNextDoor: Outside. I've almost got our mounts ready.

FlameHairSavior: Oh, thanks.

Zo: Erend, please clean up your beer before you leave.

HIMBO: DONE!

Zo: I didn't mean chug it.

Zo: Oh, never mind.

DIVINER: Wait, where's Beta??

FlameHairSavior: I'm getting her ready.

β: im fine

FlameHairSavior: She doesn't like going outside.

β: i said im fine

MARSHAL Kotallo: I believe everyone is ready.

FlameHairSavior: All right, we're coming outside.

----

FlameHairSavior: We're ready to start.

FlameHairSavior: Sorry:

Zo: For what?

[FlameHairSavior] has invited [BoyNextDoor], [HIMBO], [β], [MARSHAL Kotallo], [DIVINER], and [Zo] to a holo-chat

DIVINER: Oh no.

FlameHairSavior: We need to be able to actually talk for at least some of this.

MARSHAL Kotallo: Best to get it over with.

----

HIMBO: SO. ZO.

Zo: Is something wrong?

HIMBO: NOT REALLY. JUST SITTING HERE DOING NOTHING.

Zo: You're supposed to be ready for the Zeniths!

MARSHAL Kotallo: You can't remain perfectly alert at all times.

HIMBO: SEE? LISTEN TO THE TENAKTH!

MARSHAL Kotallo: But you should still keep from allowing yourself to be distracted.

HIMBO: DON'T LISTEN TO THE TENAKTH.

DIVINER: I'm more worried about distracting Aloy and the others!!

HIMBO: IT'S FINE, THIS IS A PRIVATE CHAT.

FlameHairSavior: No it's not.

HIMBO: CRAP, SORRY.

FlameHairSavior: It's fine.

β: focus that one almost hit you

FlameHairSavior: How are you talking and texting at the same time?

β: multitasking

BoyNextDoor: While that's impressive, maybe just stick with one?

β: im only doing three things at once

β: im not even watching tv

Zo: ...are you normally watching shows when you talk to us?

β: sometimes

β: usually just listening to music

β: aloy above

FlameHairSavior: Yeah, I see it.

BoyNextDoor: You two are going to give me a heart attack.

----

DIVINER: Should I be concerned that none of us have been ambushed??

Zo: Do you WANT to be attacked?

DIVINER: No, but isn't that the point? We're supposed to be distractions!

MARSHAL Kotallo: Welcome to guard duty.

HIMBO: YEAH, YOU CAN NEVER TELL IF IT'S QUIET BECAUSE NOTHING WENT WRONG, BECAUSE NO ONE IS COMING FOR YOU, OR IF THEY FOUND A WAY AROUND YOU WITHOUT YOU NOTICING.

DIVINER: [Groan.gif]

DIVINER: How do you deal with it?

HIMBO: THE BOOZE HELPS.

Zo: PLEASE don't drink right now. This is important.

HIMBO: I'M NOT DRUNK, JUST NEED TO WET MY THROAT A BIT.

β: alcohol actually dehydrates the body increasing your need for water

HIMBO: WE DON'T NEED YOUR FANCY SCIENCE TALK RIGHT NOW.

MARSHAL Kotallo: That is not advanced knowledge. My tribe certainly knows that you need water more than alcohol.

BoyNextDoor: Same with the Nora.

Zo: I didn't know, but then, I rarely drink.

HIMBO: WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS GANG UP ON ME?

----

FlameHairSavior: That's a big one.

BoyNextDoor: One second, let me tap into your video feed.

BoyNextDoor: ...okay, I can't do this. Beta?

β: oh wow i think hephaestus made that special for you

MARSHAL Kotallo: That means you get to name it.

β: really

HIMBO: IT'S TRADITION! FIRST PERSON TO SURVIVE MEETING A NEW MACHINE GETS TO NAME IT!

FlameHairSavior: According to my Focus, it already has a name. Slaughterspine.

β: oh

HIMBO: WELL THAT'S DISAPPOINTING.

MARSHAL Kotallo: Still, I have heard of slaughterspines. They are dangerous foes. Be on your guard.

DIVINER: I'm looking up pictures, and I can't figure out what Old World animal they're based on!

ADMIN [GAIA]: It appears to be based on the Spinosaurus, a North African spinosaurid that lived during the Late Cretaceous Period, approximately 99 million years ago. However, HEPHAESTUS seems to have used older, inaccurate models of the creature's design.

HIMBO: ...HUMANS WERE AROUND

HIMBO: NINETY-NINE MILLION

HIMBO: YEARS AGO???

ADMIN [GAIA]: No. But fossils from pre-historic times have been unearthed by every human civilization in history. Many of the ancient animals were misinterpreted as various supernatural monsters, but over time entire fields of study were dedicated to reconstructing the lives and appearances of these creatures. My predecessor was quite fond of them, and modeled many of her machines on extinct megafauna. When APOLLO was deleted and it became clear that Stage-2 organisms would not be re-introduced in a reasonable time frame, she began modeling many of her new machines off these more contemporary animals as well.

FlameHairSavior: Yeah, I saw all that in the Zero Dawn labs.

FlameHairSavior: Well, most of it.

FlameHairSavior: Okay, just bits and pieces.

Zo: Wait, aren't you fighting this thing right now?

FlameHairSavior: Multitasking.

BoyNextDoor: STOP TALKING AND JUST FIGHT!

----

FlameHairSavior: Well, that's done.

Zo: Thank the trees.

FlameHairSavior: Took longer than expected.

MARSHAL Kotallo: Only you would complain about taking too long to fight one of the most dangerous machines alone.

BoyNextDoor: She's always like this. At least we're done here.

β: we still have to hack it

FlameHairSavior: Right. Hacking. Computer hacking. Which I am sure I will... be able to do.

β: its easy you just match up the things with the other things and then follow the thing with the thing

FlameHairSavior: ...I'll be right over.

----

BoyNextDoor: That was interesting.

DIVINER: What? What??

BoyNextDoor: Watching Aloy not be instantly perfect at something.

FlameHairSavior: Ha. I practiced for everything I do, you know.

DIVINER: Oh, the hacking.

FlameHairSavior:  I'll get good at it eventually.

β: you wont need to because im here

DIVINER: Aw!

MARSHAL Kotallo: So that is a mission success?

FlameHairSavior: I think we're good. We just need to

FlameHairSavior: Ohshitohshit

DIVINER: ????

BoyNextDoor: ZENITH

[BoyNextDoor] has been DISCONNECTED [device not found]

Zo: Varl?

Zo: Varl!

MARSHAL Kotallo: Soldier, respond!

HIMBO: WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE?

β: aloy do it

β: dont let them take me

FlameHairSavior: I

β: aloy you promised

FlameHairSavior: I'm sorry.

β: YOU PROMISED

[β] has been DISCONNECTED [device not found]

[FlameHairSavior] has been DISCONNECTED [device not found]

ADMIN [GAIA] has been DISCONNECTED [device not found]

Chapter 32 | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index

[halliescomut]

Jeff Satur song theory

So there's something I noticed in listening to Jeff's English songs after Dum Dum came out last week. And it's just a theory, but it honestly was so interesting my brain just latched on and wouldn't let go.

For some caveats, I'm only counting songs he released in English that aren't related to tv shows, aren't collabs. So that means Fade, Hide, and Dum Dum. I'm specifying them having an English version, because there's not always full clarity with translated lyrics. With English releases I know that Jeff consciously chose the wording to evoke certain ideas/emotions, even if it may not be a direct translation to the original Thai.

So here's my theory...THE STAGES OF GRIEF.

The reason I thought about this was is interview with Woody where he talked about writing more melancholy music because he'd not had a successful relationship yet. Meaning for whatever reason they broke up, whether it was mutual isn't really the point, and honestly, the man is 28 (I think, I can't be bothered to Google) so in a decade I'd imagine he's had at least a few longer term relationships. But his songs that he writes are about his feelings after those 'failed' relationships. (I don't love the term failed, bc often it's not really anyone's direct fault, but I digress.)

But anyway, listening to Dum Dum, that's anger, 100% .

The lyrics scream anger and frustration, the aggression in the melody of the song, in the music video. It's all that white hot heat, and I think if you also look at the concept of there being two Jeff's in the video--there's a pretty common idea about anger turning someone into a different person. I've also seen people referencing the video in regards to Jeff kind of stepping back into the shoes of Kim almost in reference to what could Kim have been like if he lost Chay, or if he never found him, if he never became WiK, and I can definitely see that was well. In all of those scenarios, it's a Kim who's in mourning. A Kim who's grieving the loss of his true love, his first love, his chance at love. Grieving the loss of a future he decided for himself. There's a lot of possible subtext to read there. And all of this is what sparked the idea of grief and our human reactions to it as a possible theme of Jeff's music recently.

Going back and looking at the previous releases, we start with Hide, which was released in May of 2022. The lyrics, tone, feeling of the song, the say denial to me.

This idea of going to the places that remind him of their relationship. Asking to sing them one more song. Asking why they don't truly believe in his love for them. It also to me gives a feeling of maybe the relationship ending because they weren't in the same place as far as readiness for something public, serious, exclusive, there's quite a few reads here (which is why it's interesting). If you want to read it through a queer lens, as though one party was not ready to be out yet. I'm not here to speculate specifically on Jeff's sexuality, and honestly as a lyricist and composer, I don't think he needs to have direct 1:1 experience to be able to address that idea or include that as a facet of his lyrics.

The last song to go over is Fade. Fade to me brings to mind the bargaining stage, but in a little bit of a different way.

Normally with bargaining in regards to grief, it's very connected to denial, it's this concept of "if I had had done something different...", "if I made different choices...", "if I was a better person...". The music video offers the idea of his love interest dying, but this is of course applicable to just the idea of the 'death of a relationship'. It also relates to the story of the M/V on the level of "if I do better this life, maybe I wont lose them, maybe I'll be deemed worthy of more time with them..." Looking at the lyrics alone, without the context of the video, they can be seen as bargaining with the memory of the person. It's this exhaustion of being continuously reminded of a person, which makes you experience that grief over and over again. Our minds can't maintain that, regardless of the relationship you're grieving or the way in which that relationship ended.

In another aspect, not inline with this discussion, but certainly related in terms of this being a deep dive into his lyrics and concepts of his songs. I like that Jeff references crying. There's the overarching reason of it's important for boys and men to understand that crying is an acceptable reaction to grief and sadness. I think it really does matter, even with this not being the main point of the songs, it's still there, so it's still affecting listeners, it's still encouraging the idea of not being afraid of tears as a man, or as a human.

The lyrics of Fade say "crying but my eyes both have not been dry for days". He's deep in the grief still. Then in Dum Dum, "I used to cry but the tears is dry". He's starting to move on a little. I would say, based on the anger of Dum Dum, it's a mix of moving on and masking your pain with anger. I've said it before on here I'm sure, but it was pointed out by a therapist that anger is a secondary emotion. It's a reaction to something else, like frustration, like disappointment, and of course like grief or sadness. We bring anger to the forefront because it doesn't allow for too much analysis, and it also takes a lot of energy, which can help put you in a state where your mind becomes exhausted enough to rest. It's a similar idea to working out or doing activities you find physically exhausting in order to tire out your body.

Anyway, I don't know if any of you might have found this specifically accurate, relevant, interesting, but it's something that I just couldn't put away once I had sort of made the connection. In know they're loose connections, very much so, but I also don't think they're wild leaps.

I appreciation for reading all of this...if you did...enjoy yet another hot ass picture of Jeff:

[loquatenjoyer69]

a get to know you better meme

I was tagged by @qserasera, what a surprise and kind of an honor, thank you

do you make your bed? No lol I sleep in a nest of blankets

what's your favourite number? My "favorite" I guess is 7, but "my" number has always been 4 so that's what I (usually) pick for everything. Sending 4 emojis, picking the fourth thing, etc.

what is your job? I teach metalsmithing (jewelry, not blacksmithing)

If you could go back to school would you? (smiling through tears) I'm still there (college) but no. I have regarded school as the house of the devil and a factory of suffering for many years now. I'm just trying to get my degree so I can get better jobs lol

can you parallel park? No, I don't like cars or driving so I don't partake.

a job you had that would surprise people? Idk, I think many people are often surprised by my current job, but other than that I don't think there is one.

do you think aliens are real? Yeah in a sense, like it's more likely than not that other lifeforms exist in the universe. But I don't think any have come to earth sadly :(

can you drive a manual car? See above lol. But my mom wanted to teach me once

what's your guilty pleasure? I try not to be ashamed of things I like but one thing I regard as a guilty pleasure is like, sometimes I listen to music that I don't think is very good but it's catchy and I just like it. Usually it's like new pop hits and stuff. I don't consider it to be representative of what I listen to and I don't play it around other people lol but yeah

tattoos? Yep, I have two, both done by myself when I was fifteen LOL... But I've been thinking about doing another one because I had another idea and I don't have money ha ha ha....also I just like doing it I like doing art who woulda thunk

favourite colour? I feel obligated to say red (and its associates) here since it's literally the only color I wear that isn't black...but it's just because that's kind of my brand. I like most colors, it would be easier for me to say which colors I don't like.

favourite type of music? I like all kinds of music, but the categories the music I listen to the most fall into is like, rock/metal (stuff with really nice guitars and drums), folk/indie, and electronic. I like music with good lyrics, and if it doesn't have good lyrics it has to sound good to me.

do you like puzzles? Does anyone not??

any phobias? I don't think so, just icked out by normal stuff like mold and spiders and stuff sometimes.

favourite childhood sport? I didn't get to do sports when I was a kid, that's why I do them now B-)

do you talk to yourself? Nope, and for a long time I was convinced that talking to yourself was just something that was done in movies and TV to show what a character was thinking. I didn't believe anyone actually talked to themself in real life, when no one is around. I also didn't talk/narrate my play as a kid if I was alone because well...I know what's happening, I know what my toys are saying, why do I need to speak it out loud? But I narrate my actions when I'm around other people, that's separate.

what movie(s) do you adore? I really like Peking Opera Blues, it's probably my favorite movie of all time...or at least my favorite live action movie. Also I like JCSS (the 1973 film), and as for animation, all the Cartoon Saloon movies, but especially Secret of Kells which pretty much shaped me as a person and Wolfwalkers which I've always kind of wanted to do like, an essay on but never got around to.

coffee or tea? I drink tea the most, I really never drink coffee but I like the taste. Just, caffeine makes me really shaky and sweaty and doesn't actually make me feel more alert so the drawbacks are not worth it most of the time.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? When I was in preschool I said I wanted to be a firefighter but that wasn't something I held onto long term. I don't think I really had a childhood dream occupation.

tagging @joelletwo, @versaphile, @treecakes, and @ladsofsorrow24 if you guys haven't done this already/want to do it

[loksven83]

So, here's a thought.

I don't think I've done enough Matt info or lore, and I'm feeling particularly yandere- coded right now.

CW: yandere stuff, y'all. Blood, gore, etc. maybe some fluff.

(Matt isn't normally a yandere, mind you.)

Matt, believe it or not, is, or can be, a semi-hardcore yandere in a possible AU. Though, he's.. definitely manipulative, but not the mean kind.

Matt would usually start out like his normal self, super sweet and lovey, puppy dog vibes. Up until you get a phonecall from work/school/other, and have to go away for a while. He'd be a little extra whiney, and super clingy at that, too. Why did you have to leave him..? You had everything you needed here, where you can stay and cuddle all day! Wouldn't.. you want to cuddle with him instead..?

Matt would excuse himself, a bit upset. He'd make a phonecall in another room to Bug, enlisting their help, but asking to leave Jim out of this. Bug, who's moral compass is constantly spinning and little to no care for other people outside of Jim, Matt, and Uri, would help him.

The next day, before you leave for work, you catch what the news was up to. On the TV screen was a report, that, do your disbelief, showed a bloody massacre. The person who said you had to go away, leave Matt, leave him all alone, was splattered across a building, entrails hanging around like demented christmas lights. Their fingers were all gone. Except two. They were where the person's face used to be, in the eyesockets were. The person was entirely skinned, and their skull was mishapen now, two coathanger hooks sprouted from their skull in a crude, demented, mockery that resembled antennae.

Who could do this..? You had to excuse yourself as you accidentally bumped into Matt, who seemed to appear out of nowhere, apparently been there the entire time without realizing he was spacing out. He looked down at you, wiping your tears away.

"darling..? Why are you upset..? Is everything okay?"

He'd ask, seemingly not knowing what happened. You only sobbed into him, his grip tightening onto you and kissing your head. Poor, shivering, scared, darling.. so small, so weak.. so... Fragile. He picked you up.

He made it his job that day to do everything he could to keep your mind off of what you saw. He hated seeing that look of pure, raw, primal, FEAR on your face. It hurt him deeply every time he saw that..

At least now he was here to protect you, his light of his life, his perfect little sweetheart, his love, his darling bunny.

"I'll always be here to protect you, my darling bunny. Little love.."

Thank you for reading!! I love y'all, drink water, take naps, and take breaks!

Breathe.

[arcadekitten]

How do you stay as motivated as you usually are? I... I'll be honest and I'm sorry for sounding so personal, but I've been going through some rough times, I can't even pick up a pencil to draw, and I've been feeling so unenergetic... Which sucks, I want to become as great as you, as I really do!!

I'm crazy /hj

I'm just very passionate about my characters and work!! It's no exaggeration when I say I am thinking about them every second of every day. I mean it with my whole chest, I am always thinking about them. They make me happy and so I'm always happy when I get to do stuff with them!!

HOWEVER!! That doesn't mean I'm immune to burnout either! I don't know you or what you're going through--maybe it's burnout, maybe it's a depressive episode, maybe it's something else entirely! etc--but when I'm feeling in a rut (which I actually have been this week, I'd say!), there's some things I like to try and do to make myself feel better. I don't know if they'll work for you, but it's worth a shot!

-Take dedicated breaks. Not just like, a 15 minute break. Like a whole day or 2 or even longer break. Of course if you have responsibilities like school and/or work you might not be able to take a break from those, but take a break from your creative endeavors for a bit. Play a videogame, watch a tv show or movie or video you want to/like, go outside if you're able to even if just to sit in the sun or listen to music! (Though it's winter in the nothern hemisphere, so maybe just dance around to music in your kitchen or something haha!) I often find that once I've been able to actually let myself have fun in other ways, I then want to come back to doing all my creative stuff and I feel more energetic about it!

-Be creative in other ways! Try to branch outside your normal mediums. If you draw a lot digitally, make something traditionally! If you usually illustrate, try playing with something like clay or strings or building blocks! Cut apart magazines and try to make collages! Of course, this isn't always accessible to everyone, especially if you need to spend money to buy some of this stuff. But even if it's as simple as filling a notebook page with doodles, it's still worth doing! The MOST important part of this though is to do it for yourself--do not worry about how the end result will come out, do not worry about sharing it to other people. You can later on if you want to, but you need to go into it knowing that your goal is to HAVE FUN! not to make a successful or consumable product.

-Draw what you want to draw. It's not secret that my most popular games are games like INMIMB and Crowscare. I could probably be attracting a lot more attention on that stuff if I drew those characters more. But Mary and Reggie are my favorite subjects to draw, so that's what I draw! And when I do that, it makes art feel like not-a-chore, but something to be enjoyed! When making my games, I have to make a lot of art for them too! Sometimes I can choose between getting a new cutscene image done, or drawing an idea I just really want to draw. And sometimes choosing the latter is rewarding because I had fun drawing it and then I can come back to the cutscene image satisfied! Draw the things you like and it will help remind you why art is so fun! Hope this isn't too long of a read! Keep your head up, champ! Just because you're not where you wanna be now doesn't mean you'll never get there! I believe in you, but most importantly believe in yourself!

[matan4il]

Hi, love your blog, this became kinda long sorry 😅

I just wanted to say that maybe it’s just me but I’ve never really had hope for buddie to be confirmed in the first place. Like I do ship them and if they did become canon I would be very happily surprised but really it’s just never something I’ve entertained as a possibility because we just don’t get ships like this imo. There’s a few exceptions even if I can’t think about this right now but when a character’s introduced as straight or nothing has been said so usually assumed straight and then fandom ships them with an equally assumed straight person the show and networks and all that don’t want them together because they’re ‘normal straight people’.

Like in LS from the beginning TK’s introduced with a bf he wants to propose to, they don’t lose their ‘normal’ character (obvs it is normal to be whatever flavour of queer you are but idk how to word it better) since that was him from the start.

Also if it’s acknowledged that all the buddie moments were building up to a romantic relationship then it sheds light on other similar relationships in other shows or films that we were ridiculed for shipping when really it’s not so different. I really don’t know if I got my point across here and I’m sorry this got so long winded, maybe I’m just a cynic but I think my buddie dreams will have to be contented with fanfiction.

Btw I don’t mean this to be mean to you or anyone who does believe buddie will go canon in the show I just accidentally typed out this rant that was meant to be a short ask.

Hi Nonnie, thank you so much for the kind words! Kindness always mean so much to me, there is nothing I appreciate as much... Sending you tons of love!

So, I fully agree with everything you said. I've mentioned before that there are almost no slow burns for mlm couples on TV. A part of that is that shows need to show they meet the diversity quota from the start. So we tend to get either pre-established same sex couples (like Henren), or quick burns, where we know from the start where this is going (like Mavid and Tarlos). Even if we have a character assumed straight that's gonna be discovered to be something else (gay or, more rarely, bi), that will be something we the audience will discover pretty early on. Shows don't like rocking the boat, they don't like threatening audiences' sense of security when it comes to sexual orientation. But there are exceptions! BIG round of applause to Black Sails for being the most brilliant about it with men, if we expand to women, I can also point to Callie Torres and Erica Hahn on Grey's Anatomy, who were both introduced as straight, became best friends and then slowly, realized they were into each other. Callie figured out she was bi, while Erica was hit by a realization she was always gay, she just didn't know she was because until she was with a woman, she couldn't tell something was missing in her r/s with men.

My point isn't to convince you, BTW! I think it is SUPER legit if you don't think Buddie is going canon. It is SUPER legit to think they are. It is SUPER legit to be confused, unsure, go back and forth or not give a damn. Wherever you're at, I support you, and I think your enjoyment in fandom is what matters! I also think you specifically have a slight advantage: if you don't need Buddie going canon and they do, then yay, right? But if they don't, you won't be disappointed. You'll be able to continue to enjoy the show and Buddie, same as before. It's a part of why I try not to get my expectations up, even though I do hope for canon!Buddie. 'Coz I wanna be able to enjoy their love story no matter what. Whatever Tim and Kristen do, Buddie is canon to me. And I don't want anyone taking that away from me. So while I tend to think 911 may have the balls to be one of the few exceptions, I'll be here even if it doesn't.

Basically, your POV is welcome here, as is that of others. I hope ranting helped and you feel good! ^u^ Have a great day!

You might notice, I'm scheduling a lot of replies to post on the same day, I am trying to catch up with my asks. If you're worried you might have missed one, as always, here's my ask tag. xoxox

[bi-curious--george]

An Open Letter To Taylor Swift

I feel silly even writing this. That being said.. what's it going to hurt? I know you have a tendancy to read things and lurking in places nobody would expect.  And personally, I don't think you'll ever actually read this, but I have always wanted to tell you what a fan I am, and I figure after this many years, it may be time.  I talked myself out of writing this, thinking nobody's going to read it, and that may be true, but, one time when i was drunk, I wrote president obama about how unjust the system was and rambled about domestic violence and he wrote me back a very personal letter and if that can happen because of my words, why not try to see if you read this and I can ramble about what an impact you made in my life.  And what a hypocrite i would be if i would sit every day telling people how important their stories are, but think that mine isnt important.  I don't need a response, and don't believe I will ever get one.. But it would mean the world to me if you knew how much you saved me as a kid.  To give you some context, I am a therapist now, but I have been a fan of yours since before your first album ever came out.  And I really believe that your album was a huge reason I got through my shitty childhood to be here today.  I would love to tell you a funny little glimpse of how I'm stumbled upon you.

So i grew up just dirt poor.  And i had a really, really traumatic childhood (and adulthood, but thats a different letter, to, Obama apparently) and i remember so vividly how i became a fan of yours.  So. I was trying to take a bath.  And i loved baths - this was my escape from my awful childhood right?   and i used to play the radio while i did and I'd crank the music.  And we lived in the middle of nowhere with no actual television reception so my parents had to pay for satellite TV.  So i did have that going  for me.   So i turn on the satellite radio on my parents tv all the way up, go draw my bath down the hall, and i get in the tub and get in, and i heard your music for the first time. I wish I could remember the first song, but i dont (I am betting Tim McGraw, but i dont recall precisely). What i do remember is me running down the hall in a towel, basically tripping over myself soaking wet, literally  dripping, yelling " DON'T CHANGE IT I NEED TO FIND OUT WHO IT IS".  And you or maybe the dj? announced your first album coming out, and i instantly knew what i was going to ask for for Christmas.  

I didnt think i was going to get it.  I actually rarely got what i wanted for gifts, They normally shopped at the dollar store. Around Christmas time, i showed them your CD and begged and begged for it. I still didn't think id get it. I have vague memories of showing them the CD of yours in a Kmart and very dramatically saying  " this one! " So They couldn't claim they didn't know which one it was when Christmas time rolled around. 

The suspense is killing you, im sure. So I'll  get to it, but, I did get your cd for Christmas. And then from that point on, every time I got screamed at, every time I was hurt, or I didn't feel heard, i could at least escape. It was a peace offering of sorts in my mind, i think.   My favorite song was probably "Tied Together With A Smile". 

Life got a little hard after that, I'd become a single mom at 19 and my relationships were, well, complicated, and your music just became more and more relatable. And I just was able to pour myself more and more into your music. I've always just been so thankful for your music to be there. I found a partner and I love him, and somehow your music is still relatable.

 I've appreciated that your music  has been there the whole time.  The staying power it had in my life, from teens to 30s, I think is what made it so impactful. Your music was the soundtrack of my life while ive been learning how to reclaim my life as my own - and seemingly watching you do the same. 

I always wished I could have seen you in concert. But money got tight, then stayed tight.  I settled for what i could- scream singing in the car and shower.   

I went to grad school, had some more kids, and I became a therapist and my parents disowned me which was a wild ride.  I tried so hard to get tickets to see you this time, I didn't think I would care that much, I even anticipated it not going in my favor as I was grown now and i can handle not getting to go to a concert if they ran out of tickets.

I will admit, this Ticketmaster fiasco felt so unfair.  I had worked for so long and so hard to get to a place where i could finally see you in person.  I had been a fan since before your first album.  Life had screwed me over so many times in so many ways, but it felt like i made it through it - and now i could support myself and spend my own money and be a part of this eras tour - see all the eras i couldn't see when i was hiding from the abusive relationships or couldn't afford the albums and had to repeat them on YouTube to memorize them.  I was crushed after 8+ hours of waiting to still not get tickets. 

I'm betting not hearing you in person probably hurt more at the time because I found you when I lived with my parents and  since I had been disowned semi recently by my parents and you had been such an integral part in my healing it became this awful metaphor for me not being able to move forward.  "I'm 32, I went to grad school, i still can't buy a house for my family, my car is going to die and I can't replace it (at the time), I'm stuck at a job that doesn't appreciate me, I can't even see the one concert I wanted, where did I fuck up so bad?" and like it was an awful loop of me messing up somewhere along the line.. and I cried probably every day from the day of Ticketmaster failure until the second day of Minneapolis, and even sometimes now even thinking about losing the chance. Ticketmaster had other ideas for me i guess.  And that's not on you, that's just a me thing.  And that's for my new therapist to unpack,  😂

I still try to watch the lives on tiktok so I can try to be a part of What is likely our generations Woodstock. You are doing amazing things, and I hope that you and your family and friends are endlessly proud of you.

Regardless, thank you for being a part of my journey, I'm so glad you were there. And if you ever tour again, which I hope you do, I'll see you there. 

I wrote this whole thing out on 8/1,  I was going to print it out and mail it as I had heard that's  the best avenue..  then I never got around to it as I felt silly. It's now 8/3, the day that more dates were announced (I knew it! I knew Canada would get some dates!)  Unfortunately Minnesota did not get more dates but I'm going to register for Indianapolis  on 11/2- it's worth a shot.  🤞. I slept on it, and said to myself, Let's put it on Tumblr and let the universe decide if you should see it.

[ambivalentgaylor]

A few very normal thoughts:

Okay so I've just watched the Lavender Haze video for the first time after avoiding it due to being pissed at her for heterosexualising the term, and have noticed the following: the weather guy on the TV points to the number 78...I googled and 1978 was when the gay pride flag was first flown in San Francisco. Also, what's with the purple she's using in every video? In Anti-Hero it came oozing out of an egg. Everyone (well, lesbians) knows purple/lavender is a lesbian colour.

But I worry that maybe she's just so excruciatingly straight she really does think "lavander haze" was a term commonly used in the 1950s after seeing it used once on a mad men episode. So sad. But she's also scattering the bi flag colours absolutely everywhere, and she is not an idiot. She's a smart lady. I cannot accept that she'd be so silly and detached as to not understand that it is exploitative to employ lesbian and bisexual coding in her art simply as a way of "supporting" lesbians and bisexuals. Like, surely not.

Since her breakup I've therefore allowed myself to have lesbian interpretations of some of her lyrics on Midnights. So that's fun for me.

At first, taking it at face value and not wanting to read into it, I thought "I feel the lavender haze creeping up on me, no deal - the 1950s shit they want from me" was just her speaking about media/public/fan pressure to marry her man, and her desire to ignore that pressure to just feel good in her relationship as it is. But if I allow myself to be a lesbian about it, one might say that she was in a relationship with a man who wanted marriage and was way into sex-roles and she was like "Ugh... I feel the lavender haze aka my lesbian tendencies from previous relationships with women creeping up on me...no deal to these men who want that 1950s shit from me...I'm damned if I stay in this straight relationship due to fear of what people might say if I explore my love of the ladies a bit more... mayhaps I'll move towards this lavender haze..." (this interpretation is based on the theory that she's bi, because I don't think I can bring myself to believe she's actually a lesbian and all her public hetero relationships have been "beards").

Anyway, the Bejewelled video. In which she wants the castle, not the man. This goes back to what I said a while ago (to myself and one other person, don't worry about it), about how her comeback after the Kanye thing would likely not have gone down well if she didn't have a boyfriend to point to like, "Whom cares about any of you bc I am all loved up with this amazing man, haha to the losers who expected a bitter revenge album". Making the rep album about love allowed her to regain the kingdom keys Kanye took away...and get her castle/superstardom back...and now she no longer needs to show the world she can be in a long-term hetero relationship and isn't the "whiny overdramatic harpy who disses men in her music too much and always plays the victim" the world characterised her as. She has the castle and left the prince after he proposed because she was like, "Sike! Just needed this castle actually." And we know she would not have regained the kingdom keys as quickly if she didn't have a "stable het relationship" to point to, because society doesn't love and admire a strong, independent woman with cats. That's a witch, girls.

Also: at the end of the Bejeweled video, once she's in the castle having ghosted the prince, she looks out and sees dragons flying around... perhaps envisioning what is to come if she were to "come out"...?

In saying that, another interpretation could be that she's saying she's gonna go back to being the "annoying serial dater who can't keep a man and complains too much" that everyone hates, bc she doesn't believe in marriage and doesn't want kids. And so she is predicting the criticism that will come from her preferring the castle/solo success to settling down like a "good woman" should.

See? I'm allowing for the possibility that every lesbian and bisexual clue she has ever dropped over many years has been purely accidental on account of straight people being clueless. You never know, good not to put all your eggs in one basket, pays to be flexible in life, etc.

Anyway, I don't know if any of this has been said before because I have been completely disconnected from this whole era out of bitterness, so if you're a serious and professional gaylor truther reading this like "um...duh" then...fine. Fine!

[morkofday]

bad buddy for the ask game 🥺👉👈

thank you for allowing me to go feral, love you ♥

favorite male character:

pran, obviously. idk if there has ever been a bl character i've related to more. he feels like home to me and i am so grateful i got to meet him ♥

favorite female character:

we get very few options for this but honestly, i have to say pha. i love her to bits. she's so cute and energetic and her just going uh um gIrLs 😳😍 during the show is so relatable. also, huge respect for her dealing with both pat and pran, truly the god's strongest soldier

least favorite character:

patpran's parents lol. otherwise i love everyone a lot. even wai ok. he is dear to me despite this fandom hating on him a lot for understandable reasons.

prettiest character:

please do not make me choose bc they are all so pretty??? can you see pha above?? and then ink?? and aaahhh both pat and pran are Beautiful too 😭😭 and their friends??? but is this my chance to say that i am absolutely obsessed with jimmy's face and put wai here bc i will do it (i am very normal when it comes to vice versa starting next month)

funniest character:

ok so bad buddy is obviously a romantic comedy. they are all simply funny. but i think the one who makes me laugh the most is pran despite also making me cry the hardest. i just love the faces he makes?? and his and pat's banter is always so good.

favorite episode:

i have two. the first one is ep 5 bc i will never be over pat's self-discovery journey during it and then the kiss at the end. all of that changed me as a person. the second one is ep 11 which always tears my heart apart. it's so beautiful and lovely but the underlying melancholy in that ep is just killing me. it's perfectly my vibe tho bc i love tragedies, and if bad buddy had ended like they fooled us into believing it did, i could've still lived with it. am happy it didn't bc patpran deserve to be happy but i could've lived.

favorite romantic ship:

patpran of course. i adore them. i have never felt as strongly about a main couple before. bad buddy really is one for the history books. tho i also gotta mention that waikorn drove me wild while i was waiting for new episodes to drop. they really made them all "will they, won't they??" and am still not quite sure they didn't actually end up together in the end haha

favorite family ship:

idk if there really are any others in bad buddy than pat and pha. but i don't really need more?? they were perfect. i loved their banter and they truly felt like siblings, they had that deranged energy to them. but they were also very supportive and caring of each other, and pha's coming out scene still has a place in my heart ♥

favorite friendship:

bc i see pran as a permanently lonely person, i adored it that he had wai by his side. his and wai's friendship felt free and uncomplicated. they were also very comfy with each other and had casual skinship which i did not expect from pran when i saw so much of myself in him. i also adored pat with korn bc wow the chaos really was on another level. also the shared braincell between those two was barely functional but they did take advantage of every second of when it was ♥

worst ship:

gosh i dunno if there is anything bad in bad buddy? all the ships are lovely ;; or maybe i just haven't seen anything truly cursed haha (and please do not expose me to anything if you know something, i like this happy bubble am living in XD)

thank you once more! i had fun :')

leave a tv show or a movie in my ask box and i'll tell you things!

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #194

Do you tend to speed when you drive? When I did drive, no. There were times of after driving a while I mighta zoned out a bit and slightly lost track of my speed, but I'd quickly realize and slow down.

Do you get bored with relationships quickly? No.

Who was the first person to ever give you flowers? Probably my parents at dance recitals.

Do you have an online game that you play often? Yeah, World of Warcraft.

Do you wear glasses? Yes, I'm blind as shit without them.

How long does it take you to normally take a shower? Not even ten minutes.

Have you ever burned incense before? Yes, I love doing that. It's been like, years, though.

Ever been on a picnic? No, but this is a dream date idea for me.

Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? Yes.

Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? I mean yeah, if I needed to.

Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? He's two years older.

Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Yeah.

Do you like waffles? I do, but not so much if they're like, hard or really crispy, I prefer them to be somewhat soft.

Do you find piercings/tattoos attractive? Oh hell yes, at least generally. Bad tattoos and badly placed piercings exist.

Do you always wear your seatbelt? Absolutely, I can't even imagine not doing so.

Have you ever liked someone much older than you? Only in the celebrity crush sorta way haha, in my real, personal life, I've never been romantically interested in an individual more than like, five-ish years older than me.

Do you have any secrets that nobody knows about? Yes. Nothing harmful or relating to other people, it's just... stuff I don't share.

Do you believe prayer really works? Nope.

Are tongue piercings slutty? lmfao no, they're hot as fuck

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? oh brother

Least favorite alcoholic drink? I haven't tried all that many to be honest bc I'm so picky, but I can tell you I hate things with a strong alcohol concentration. I know I've hated any wine I've ever tried.

Have you ever kissed someone named Paul or Luke? No.

How did you meet the last male you texted? He's my father.

Do you wear skirts a lot? I don't think I've worn a skirt since childhood.

How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? Zero.

Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? Nope, I've got 'em.

When was the last time you wore eyeshadow? Literally years ago.

What is your favorite color eyeshadow to wear? I only ever really wore black.

Would you rather work with animals or work with children? Animals, easy.

Would you rather work with children or work with teenagers? If I literally had zero choice, teenagers.

Would you rather watch a movie, watch a TV show, or watch a YouTube video? YouTube video.

What was the last type of cookie you ate? Chocolate chip.

What is your favorite type of frosting for a cake? Chocolate.

Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? Not that I'm aware.

Do you have your mom’s or dad’s hair? Mom's.

Have your parents ever been out of the country? No.

Do your pets chase after bugs? Roman does. He killed my bathroom spider friend a few days ago lmao

Is the last person you spoke to in love? No.

Who was the main character in the last book you read? That I finished, Jody. What I'm reading now has three "main" characters; the chapters alternate between them.

Who are the last people you saw kiss? My sister and her husband while I was taking photos.

Have you ever posted a fanfiction on a website? No.

What was the last unpleasant thing to wake you up? I don't know if it specifically woke me up, but back pain. I've been dealing with it on the left side of my back for a long time now.

When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? My mom, very easily.

What was the last thing you took a picture of? I recently took holiday pics for my sister and her family.

When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. I always do the same, depending on if they offer Coke or Pepsi products: Coke, or Mountain Dew.

When was the last time someone took a picture of you? I wanna say two Fridays ago when I was petting Oakley in her favorite spot (her chest) and Mom snapped a picture.

Would you date someone who’s shorter than you? Yes, otherwise is some of the most shallow shit I've ever heard.

Do you mind being the third wheel? I really don't, unless we're like, all in the same room and they're getting pretty intimate.

Have you ever felt guilty after doing something sexual? As a teenager, I wondered A LOT if I was breaking the "rules" of abstinence. Looking back, that shit was so insane, how much I cared about remaining a virgin until I got married.

Do your parents know if you’re having sex? I don't think my mom is totally sure, but last I mentioned in a doctor's office (asking if I could be pregnant or anything), she probably thinks not.

Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? Both are awful.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? um definitely not jizz

Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? thank fuck no

(If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? No, thank god, I'd cringe so fuckin hard

Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? I mean out of the two, cute, but I don't find myself anywhere near either.

What did you eat for lunch today? I actually didn't eat lunch. I'm trying to remove it from my routine for weight loss purposes.

What was the last thing you threw up? literally Dorito's lmao

Last person’s house you were in? Besides my own, my older sister's.

Are you someone’s best friend? Girt's, at least.

Favorite gemstone? Dragon's breath opal.

What is the last thing you said to the person you like? Life kinda forced a kitten onto Girt lol, but he's in love with it and it's absolutely adorable. It was something regarding her as he's planning what to do with her when no one is home.

Missing anybody? Girt, I haven't seen him in around a week and I miss him.

Do you want any tattoos? If yes, what? I want a ton of tattoos. My next one will almost certainly be with Christmas money to cover my "ohana" mistake, of a green apple covered with black ooze in a design that's like what you see on the poison apple from Snow White.

What are your plans for the day? Today's over, but tomorrow morning I get some blood taken for a thyroid health follow-up appointment next week, and I believe my A1C is also being tested again. I'm a nervous fucking wreck about it. Mom's mentioned at some point she also wants to bring the (STUNNING!!!!) wreath she made my sister to her house, and I'll ride with her for that. I might see if Girt wants to stop by after work.

What did you have for breakfast? Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

What color hair do you find sexiest on the opposite gender? I find abnormally colored hair sexiest on literally anybody, lol.

What celebrity did your most recent ex resemble? No one that I knew of? I did always tell her her singing reminded me of Amy Lee, though. Regardless of what I think of her, Sara was an incredible singer.

When did you last consume something that had peanut butter? Literally tonight haha, I had apples with peanut butter after dinner.

[cosettepontmercys]

Hey! Sorry I didn't reply..it was my brother's bday the other day and I was a little tipsy. Omg I just realized I also shorten his name to To and sometimes we will repeat it like To To to get him to pay attention or look. but it still sounds different than Toto if that makes sense. I can't believe I just noticed that lol. So I guess we have similar dog names too which is such a coincidence. That's cool..what kinda things do you have planned? I don't know much about it. Have you been before?

Ya it's different with Taylor since I did grow up with her since the beginning and she always seemed pretty normal girl with her lyrics from debut and I felt so connected to her as a shy weird girl who didn't have a lot of friends. So that's a lot different than other artists to me..but I have been following Paramore early on too. I think it might be cuz I know more about Taylors life and her as a person, and did grow up with her. But I have had a similar experience with a few other artists later in my life where the music found me at the right time when I needed it. That happened with Soccer Mommy and the band Best Coast..if you like singer songwriters you might enjoy her music. She says things in a more simple way than Taylor but I find it so relatable. Another one is The Smiths..their music means so much to me. My favorite concert was Eras and Rep..haha. next would be twenty one pilots/TOP..I have seen them probably 5 or 6 times now and they always put on a great show! I saw Paramore in 2015 and was so bummed I couldn't make their recent tour. Wow that's a lot! Before eras, I can't remember the last concert I went to. Which one has been your favorite? And which eras show was your favorite?

I watched a bootleg of &Juliet before but I can't really remember it! I think I might have been drinking during it and had it on in the background. I like it well enough but it reminds me too much of Moulin Rouge and I just prefer that a lot more. I think it's overall a pretty fun show though, but that's all. I like Six in a similar way too but I totally get why people love it. Aww I hope you can..it really does seem like seeing it live could make a big difference. Moulin Rouge the movie will always be better to me than the musical though. I've also really been into La La Land again recently. Have you ever seen the Beatles jukebox musical Across the Universe? That's another favorite of mine and would totally recommend! I wanted to ask if you had watched it. No I haven't..but folk style Sondheim seems interesting and just my style..I'll check it out for sure. Also..did you see the new Mean Girls trailer? What did you think? They did not make it seem like a musical though so I don't really have a strong opinion of it yet. It didn't feel like the original either so idk.

I really hope to watch the show at some point. I just have not been watching TV lately but I really want to. I've seen enough gifs on here to know it's good. I can't believe that's where Paul and Daisy's careers started..I feel like I see Paul everywhere now but I'm not even sure if I actually saw one of his movies yet. I did watch Daisy in the Crawdads movie and thought it was okay. I saw two episodes of CWF and was supposed to watch them at the same time to see what my sister thought lol..but that's not even on Hulu anymore so I'll never watch it now, but will watch Normal People. I've heard mixed things of Beautiful World..the bit I read felt different from the other two in a way to me. I planned on reading them all next to each other..and I think I read Normal People and CWF at the same time actually. I finished Normal people quickly and had to work to finish CWF. I did not understand or connect to the relationship or characters as much in that one so that does make me curious about Beautiful World. I think I have to be in a specific mood for it though.

Oh yes that happens to me with books all the time too, as you know. It's like..i tell myself if I start it, that makes me feel like I will definitely go back to it but sometimes that doesn't happen, and it's not even really because of the book. I really hope it doesn't happen with Night Circus though..but i might not get back to it for a month, so don't worry. I have heard of that book I think? but don't know what it's about. I honestly don't really read funny books I don't think but I guess it seems like you're enjoying it which is good! I totally will keep you updated if I read any more of it.

It's so good! That's a perfect way to describe it and I'm sure it will fit right into the movie. Oh is it like a six degrees of separation thing with Rachel..haha that's still awesome though!

Speaking of vinyls, my 1989 pink vinyl came yesterday and I really love the cover every time I look at it. It really makes me think about how the vault tracks go with the beach theme as well. I don't think my rankings have changed actually, but more like my opinion of the vault as a whole. Like I think maybe these are the best so far as a group..they go well together but Red has more of my absolute favorites. Slut is still my favorite and it's so dreamy..I loved the new acoustic version as well. Then Say Don't Go, Suburban Legends and Now we Don't Talk. Unpopular opinion..is it over now is still in last for me but I truly love every song a lot more now! Something I was thinking and talking to my sister about is how Taylor still writes great love songs and I feel like I don't see it a lot with all these newer singer songwriters as much. I've always loved Taylors lyrics and songs about being a hopeless romantic, and I think Slut falls into that category as well. I know she compared it to Blank Space but it also reminds me of Wildest Dreams. Although it could be just the feeling of the song too, similar to Snow on the Beach or even Paris. I also see Suburban Legends as a mix of Timeless, Gold Rush and maybe a bit of Mastermind in both lyrics and sounds. Aww that's so exciting..I hope she had a great time! I loved the new pink outfits so much and just seeing her perform again makes me so happy..and the surprise songs. I will make a guess for surprise songs right now for tonight. I'm thinking something from Rep for the anniversary..so I'll pick Dancing with our hands tied guitar and Say Don't Go..since I imagine she will want to sing a new vault song. It's the first thing I thought of but I also think that would be a great pairing..what about you? Do you have any guesses?

Oh I don't really use my laptop anymore since it's so slow but I still can try it on my phone. I glanced at the rules and was kinda confused. I'll have to see what my sister thinks about it cuz I might need help.

I've never seen Jasper In deadland and had no idea it was similar. That makes it interesting to me. Come From Away is pretty different cuz there's less songs and more dialogue..plus the style of music is just way different lol but like Great Comet comparison would make more sense with Hadestown. That's a sweet memory to have..it still gives me chills sometimes and I remember when I first saw the Tony performance too.

I love talking to you but I think it might help me to send shorter anons from time to time and I'm sorry if I talk too much. Sometimes responding to your messages overwhelms me and I feel bad if I don't reply right away. I think I will be busy and stressed until the middle of January at this point and some days I won't have as much energy to give you a full response. I can still talk to you about reading updates and Taylors tour, such as guessing surprise songs each day or overall just checking in of course. I just feel like some convos go in circles at this point so don't feel like you have to respond to everything. I feel like I just talk to you the same way I just ramble stuff to my sister at this point lol. I try really hard to keep things interesting but sometimes it's hard cuz I'm actually boring and never doing anything. It's not you at all..so please don't take it that way! I hope you have an amazing trip!!! 🩷🩷🩷

hi friend this is so so late and i am terribly sorry </3 i have been down with the plague unfortunately :( i got sick coming home from boston and i am still feeling ... quite ill. i hope you've been doing well!

how was your brother's birthday? did y'all have fun? what's your drink of choice? and i've been to boston once before! i mostly just hung out with one of my best friends — i got to meet some turkeys (which i was super excited about), we went shopping, went to a museum, a musical and a concert! so very, very fun! and very serendipitous because i ran into some other friends who live in boston at the museum! it was a very short trip, but i had a lot of fun and my immune system is terrible so i am now paying the price, but that's okay! hopefully i'll feel better soon.

i don't know if i've said this to you before, so forgive me if i have, but i got introduced to taylor through this one girl in my 6th grade art class — i'd just moved to the states, and she was like "do you like taylor swift" and i was like "idk who that is" and she was like "you have to listen to her" so i went home and looked her up on youtube and became obsessed! i had no friends (i was nine and in 6th grade and everyone was two years older than me) but i had taylor and her music, and so that's a big part of why her earlier stuff means so much to me! i think it's really easy to feel ... more connected (?) to taylor because her work is so personal, even when it's not autobiographical!

i really do love singer songwriters — and will have to check them out! i really love our conversations because i get introduced to so many new artists that i wouldn't have listened to on my own! i almost feel like we should do a little like playlist exchange (doesn't have to be a formal playlist), like a collection of like a few songs that we want the other person to listen to! my favorite is also eras — i'm tempted to say night 2 because i got to hear one of my all time favorite songs (tied together with a smile) but night 1 was really, really special too because i got to see it with two of my closest friends and the vibes were just so immaculate! i think we were all a lot more tired night 2 (and rushed, since we had to run from the gracie acoustic set) and so it was a little more hectic! i don't know if i told you but i ended up getting tickets for vancouver, so i'm going to be able to take my mom and my friend from high school (who i was originally going to do round 3 of eras with) 🥺 i'm really really excited because i will know more of what to expect, and i get to see her with my mom who also really loves taylor (her favorite era is fearless and she was really disappointed the movie did not have the green dress — she kept asking me "wheres the green dress? when does the green dress show up" haha). but i think seeing maisie and sabrina were also perfect? like i have just been very fortunate to have some incredibly good concert experiences this year!

i have not seen across the universe, but one of my friends loves it and it's been on my watchlist forever! one day i'll get around to it! i don't love the mean girls trailer for the same reason — it doesn't feel like the musical at all (or a musical, in general), but i'm trying to keep an open mind! i probably won't see it in cinemas but we'll see!! speaking of musicals, did you see that american psycho immersive is happening in 2025? i lost my mind when i found out! i was half asleep and my friend texted me and woke me up and i was like immediately wide awake. i'm soooo excited for it. i'm going to try to plan a trip out in 2025!

i brought convo with friends with me to boston, and didn't even touch it once haha. which is sometimes the case when i bring books on vacation! i also packed up my ipad with arcs and read one page of one and then put it down. sometimes i'll read like seven books on vacation and then sometimes i'll read 0. it's just how things are!

cleo & frank is a very ... wild book. i do not know if i would recommend it (i'm about halfway in) but it's definitely keeping my interest in an entertaining way. i've been reading for about 30 minutes before "bed" now, so hopefully i can finish it before the end of the month! i think november is going to be a very chill reading month; i've only read 3 books and i don't see myself reading many more just based on how ill i've been feeling. which is okay! i was just hoping to be more on top of things (arcs) this month, but that's fine, there's always next month. i think i'm going to wait to touch night circus till i'm feeling better :( and try to focus on that — and finishing up my les mis annotations/reread in december, then maybe jump into starless sea in january! we'll see though!

isn't the pink 1989 vinyl so pretty? i'm obsessed with it! i haven't listened to it yet, but i keep looking at it! i also preordered the new bleachers album on vinyl yesterday, i think the colors on this one are so pretty! i loveeeed the acoustic of slut; i haven't listened to it a whole lot but i really liked it when i listened to it! maybe i will spin 1989 today while at work for you 🤍 i haven't really been listening to vinyls much lately (i fall into moods) but i was listening to in the end it always does by the japanese house (i have the pink vinyl for that too!) the other night! i also bought the new sabrina carpenter christmas ep fruitcake on vinyl, so i'm excited for that to come! and i have some vinyls coming in from urban outfitters' 7" singles day — i think they're coming here today, actually!

and you are so right! i love her softer love songs, like saccharine sweet ones, and it's funny because one of my best friends does not like those ones at all! we very much compliment each other in that way; she's a rep girlie and i am very much not a rep girlie haha. speaking of rep, it looks like you hit the nail on the head with predicting DWOHT soon! do you think we're going to get a rep announcement this week? a lot of my friends are rep girlies, so for their sake i hope so but i also wish taylor would take a break!

i made a post about this when i saw your ask come in, but i want you to know there's never any pressure to reply immediately, or to send a long lengthy ask! i just love chatting with you, no matter what! thinking of you this holiday season (if you celebrate?) and hope things are going okay 🤍 you are not boring at all! and we are friends! take care of yourself friend!!

[panlight]

Something I've been thinking about lately is the way Bella takes Rosalie's place in the Cullen family. It has always seemed like Rosalie was really the only daughter that Carlisle and Esme have. While they seem to care for Alice, there is a level of emotional concern and care that they have for Rosalie that they don't have for her. Alice has the sister she's always wanted. Jasper is so fascinated by Bella. It seems like Rosalie isn't needed in her family anymore.

Sometimes, I think the relationship Rosalie has with everyone would be better if Edward could not read minds. Unfiltered and surface level thoughts aren't the core of a person but it seems like Edwards assumes he knows everything because of what he hears. Edward sets the tone for his family more than he notices. I think decades of painting someone as disagreeable would eventually make it impossible for them not to be.

Do you think it would ever be possible for Rosalie to be accepted by her family the way that Bella is?

I always wonder how much of this is a narrator problem. I find it hard to believe that Rosalie of all people would have stuck around with this family if they normally treated her the way they seem to treat her in the story. But we're only getting these descriptions from Edward, Jacob and Bella's POV and the first two dislike Rosalie personally and Bella is jealous of and intimidated by her. So they might not be the most reliable narrators.

There could be quiet moments where Esme takes her aside and asks "what's up with you lately?" and Rosalie unloads all her fears about having this human around, her jealousy that Bella gets to be human at all, her anger that Bella doesn't seem to realize what she has and is going to throw it all away. Long talks with Carlisle about all the stuff they need to talk about, and the weird bond they have despite it all because she is his best pupil when it comes to vegetarianism, and until Edward saves Bella, they are the only two who have made the choice to "save" someone with vampirism (Carlisle with the obvious four, and Rosalie saving Emmett by proxy). They're also the only two of the 'core Cullens' (thus excluding Alice and Jasper) who were attacked and left to die in the street. There absolutely could be an understanding there, complicated and fraught, but there.

I also feel like Jasper and Rosalie must be close. I don't think she's willing to let him use her name (Hale) and pretend to be her twin otherwise. She's protective of her identity and the memories of her human family, so letting him pose as her biological brother, to me, seems like a big deal and a sign they have a close relationship.

But we don't get that. We get Edward and Alice snapping at Rosalie, blaming her for their dumbass actions in New Moon (Rosalie's phone call was Not Great, but Alice not bothering to tell anyone Bella was alive for two days is a way bigger goof up/plot hole. Likewise Edward not bothering to actually confirm Bella's death in a meaningful way before heading to Volterra and exposing all the family secrets to a fellow mind-reader.) Honestly sometimes I headcanon that Alice and Edward realize how big they each screwed up here, and their anger at Rosalie is projection.

And in the reverse, I don't feel like Bella's relationship with the Cullens runs that deep. She says she loves them, and they say they love her, but we don't really get many one-on-one moments that really show us this. Esme's is all "you're part of the family" and Carlisle in BD says she's a daughter to him but like, when does she actually ever spend time with them? What does SHE bring to them? It's all about the Cullens catering to and supporting and spoiling Bella but it never seems that reciprocal to me. She doesn't seem to know much about them beyond what they told her in their backstory info dumps. What's Carlisle favorite color, Bella? When's Esme's birthday? What TV shows do Emmett and Jasper like? I don't feel like, in canon, Bella has any idea or that she ever thought to ask. It's just All Edward All the Time with occasional Alice and Emmett sprinkled in.

[krystalites]

wayv members reacting to you pecking their lips to shut them up

anon requested: kk! First ask on the way~ WayV reaction to their s/o pecking their lips while they talk to shut them up?

genre: crack (?), tiny bit angst, fluff, soft members

word count: 1,6k

a/n: I would like to apologize for probably making you wait for so long. I never actually got the notification and for some reason I never checked my inbox.. Also, my first reaction ever! Yay! I hope you guys like this since English is not my first-language, and I'm still learning. Enjoy!

⌜ kun ⌟

"and them not listening to me just annoyed me more-"

Kun had been ranting about his members for what felt like forever now. No offense to him, you loved hearing his angelic voice and could listen to it for hours but you had been very boyfriend starved lately. All you wanted to do was to cuddle your adorable boyfriend. Though, you just let him rant because you knew he needed it sometimes. He kept talking for a bit more and it went actually well. But all of sudden, you just felt like you couldn't wait anymore.

"So I snapped and-"

Kun's eyes widened as you cupped his face and pecked his lips. He smiled when you pulled away and wrapped his arms around your face, nuzzling his head in the crook of your neck. He placed a gentle, barely-there kiss on your neck. He inhaled your scent heavily, taking as much as he can. Kun lived for moments like this and they were his favorites out of all the moments he shared with you.

"You could've told me you were bored!" he scolded you jokingly.

⌜ ten ⌟

You really thought it would be a great idea to cook with your boyfriend but all he did was sitting on the counter as you did all the job. He was making these weird vegetable puns he found on the internet. Even though they were funny, you had been listening to this for almost an hour now.

"Hey, babe?" Oh, you heard this kind of babe before. The kind of babe he uses to tease you.

"No puns Chi, no puns." To give a threatening aura, you slowly raised the wooden spoon that you were using to stir the haricot beans in the pot. Ten chuckled and put his hands up as if he was surrendering.

"I swear it's not a pun." You could sense the mischievous tone in his voice, yet you decided to ignore it.

"I just wanted to say that you’re a wonderful human bean-" His joke was cut off by your lips on his. When you quickly pulled away and continued stirring, he smiled at himself. He was feeling something that he felt for the first time in his life. He sure kept making puns just so you could keep shutting him up with your lips.

⌜ winwin ⌟

Sicheng was very excited about WayV's comeback. He had been talking about the M/V, the outfits, the choreography, the song for days. Right now, you were in the living room, as he kept talking about the comeback while you were trying to get his attention. You kept cutting his words off but he never actually heard you, despite sitting right in front of you.

"-oh and the choreography is so cool! It matches the whole aesthetic perfectly."

"Sicheng I broke your favorite mug."

"The outfits are kind of revealing but I wanna step out of my comfort zone so I really like them!"

"I burned the stuff in our memory box."

"Everyone else looks very good too!"

"Sicheng I'm breaking up with you."

That's it, you thought.

"They wanna dye my hair but I don't know if I want my hair to be dyed-" He was cut off by your lips, which were gone barely a second later. Sicheng opened and closed his mouth a few times, obviously wanting to say something but not being able to say it.

"I think I got a bit too excited," he finally managed to say and mumbled, "Can I get another one though?"

⌜ lucas ⌟

You rubbed your eyes and leaned over to your phone resting on your nightstand. With a little click on the power button and the overly bright screen, you read 02.38 am. Yukhei was obviously still in-game with the dreamies, as you could hear him yelling in the room right next to you. With a groan, you got up and slipped your shirt on. You were sleeping topless since it was summer and very hot, but his camera could be on when you entered the room. You walked to his room, not even bothering to knock since his door was wide open. If you're going to yell at two in the morning, at least shut the door you thought. Entering the room, you saw Yukhei furiously clicking on his mouse and keyboard. You walked up to him as he kept yelling at the dreamies over his microphone.

"Donghyuck he's right on your le-" He suddenly stopped clicking, trying to process what the hell just happened. You had bent his head backward and pecked his lips, then left casually as if you didn't just cause him to blush. He quickly gathered his thoughts and mumbled a quick excuse and apology to the dreamies. Turning his computer off and running to your shared room, all he could do was thinking of you two cuddling and kissing, giggling like a high school girl at the thought of that.

⌜ xiaojun ⌟

You and Xiaojun started dating a few weeks ago, so your relationship was still very fresh. Being an idol and living with 6 other males sure gave him a lot to talk about. His talkative nature didn't really help with that. You guys were on another date, at your house. You were making popcorn for your movie night since you guys couldn't go out risking Xiaojun's career just like that. Xiaojun was helping you by preparing some drinks he saw on YouTube a few days ago.

"Then Ten threw his slipper to Yukhei for calling him a garden dwarf!" You laughed and glanced at him. He looked so happy telling you about the guys. As if he was telling you about his family, which you were sure it was at this point. You were having a great time, but Xiaojun had a curfew that he was supposed to not pass. Even though you knew it wasn't intentional, he kept talking and stopping what he was doing to show you what happened with his gestures. You thought maybe if you waited 10 minutes, he would just stop. But of course, he didn't. After thinking of a nice way to cut him off, you finally thought of something.

"Ten chased Yukhei around the dorm like tha-" You pecked his lips, pulled away, and smiled.

"I love hearing you talk Junnie, but I really want to watch this movie before your curfew ends."

He snapped out of the little shock state he was in and quickly began to stir the drinks, which he was supposed to do 10 minutes ago. While stirring, he giggled and shook his head. The fact that the first kiss you two shared being an 'i will kiss you to shut you up' kind of kiss made his heart do backflips and it definitely was something he could never forget.

⌜ hendery ⌟

Hendery was teasing you for losing a game of Mario Kart. Pretty normal, right? Yeah, if only that didn't happen two days ago. This was his third day of endlessly teasing you. At first, you laughed it off. He rarely ever beat you, so you didn't want to pop his happy bubble. It's the third day, and you were visibly annoyed. You sometimes beat him at the stuff he's very great too, but you never actually took it this far.

You guys were sitting in the living room, just chilling while you watched some weird tv show, where the contestants were married couples and competed for a car. A couple you had been supporting was a few points ahead, whereas Hendery's team was losing. He sighed and faked a pout.

"They're losing like you playing Mario Kart." after his comment, he smirked and turned to you. "Get it? Cause you lo-"

Eyes wide, blinking rapidly he was looking at you. You went back to watching the show like you didn't just smash your lips against his harshly. He gulped and quickly turned to tv, pulling his hood up to hide the furious blush making its way up to his ears from his neck and face.

⌜ yangyang ⌟

"Yang, please don't cry... It breaks my heart to see you like this." You put your hand on his cheek but he harshly tugged it away.

"No! They're right. I'm useless. I can't believe I actually called myself an idol on that interview just before my voice cracked when they asked me to sing. I couldn't even dance properly to the song they gave me! My manager had every right to call me names!"

You shook your head and cupped his face, making him look at your face with his glossy eyes and red nose. He was so innocent, so pure and those 'managers' were doing nothing but ruining his confidence. Weren't they supposed to help them improve and keep them motivated? Then what was all of this?

"Yang, don't say stuff like that about yourself ever again. You are the most talented person I've ever known. Every artist, scratch that, every human has a bad day where their body doesn't feel like dancing or singing or doing something in general. You can't blame yourself because of that. What actually matters is you holding your head up high and showing them what you've got in there. You always have other performances to prove yourself.

But, that didn't seem to work on your beautiful boyfriend. He just shook his head side to side, mumbling little "no's"

"No, I should just go back to where I came from the way they told me t-" Not letting him finish that sentence, you put your lips on his. You two stood like that until you ran out of breath, eyes closed with his hands over yours that were cupping his face. When you pulled away, he let a few tears spill. Wiping them off with the back of his hands, he just pushed you on your back on the bed you were sitting on. He rested his head on your stomach and tried to fall asleep with his eyes closed. Even though you guys didn't talk about it, you knew he was feeling better about himself. And he did. He had you on his side, after all.

[theythinkimabitch]

I have to say, I feel like I need to find someone new to be angry at just because I still feel so betrayed and I'm just at a loss for who it could be. From my understanding, Bokenkamp got paired with Eisendrath because this was Bokenkamp's first gig writing a television show, given that his previous credits are all movies. Now, that's been apparent in the show. The pacing of the show, how long it's taken them to give answers, that's more reminiscent of what it's like to write films--you bring up a plot line, tease it, drop it before bringing it up at the end which is how the format of each season seems to go. Tom is the big bad in season one, Tom and Liz are happy and all is forgotten, at the end of the season it suddenly picks up again and all the plot points we believed were forgotten, suddenly come up again. Now, I could easily be wrong, I don't know about writing. I haven't written anything so I'm just speaking as a viewer. But in that's a slight tangent. The point is, from my understanding, Eisendrath who is familiar with writing TV shows in a similar genre such as Alias (which i haven't seen, but have seen this show compared to plenty) to help Bokenkamp through the switch so that NBC would feel more comfortable in greenlighting a pilot with an experienced writer on board. Now here's the point of this all: I'm still mad. I'm never going to not be mad. This finale was the worst piece of television I've ever seen and I hate it with every fiber of my being. However, for so long I've been blaming the writers and especially Bokenkamp, but now I'm wondering if that was just wrong? A normal person would just let go of this all, but I'm not normal and I'm still very bitter y'all 😂 I am angry and this is all I can do to let off some steam because I'm not gonna come attacking anyone for it, but Eisendrath and Bokenkamp in interviews prior have seemed to display some fairly major creative differences. Irrespective of my thoughts on certain characters, just two examples I can think of off the top of my head include Eisendrath being a big fan of Tom Keen and Bokenkamp seeming at best ambivalent. Bokenkamp has always teased Lizzington, what with tweets to that regard and *his* original script showing clear signs of Red's *romantic* infatuation with Elizabeth Keen. I don't have the energy to dig through and find more examples and this whole rant once again truly doesn't have a point to it, but I'm just saying. Megan starting her own production company (YAY MEGAN!!) under Sony but not mentioning NBC, her classy while apathetic goodbye post, Bokenkamp suddenly leaving a show *he wrote* makes me think this problem is bigger than we thought. NBC's involved some how, there's lots going on we obviously don't know about and most likely never will, but at the end of the day, someone screwed us over and I think the message to get from this is when the lead and original creator of the show leave a show, it's clear that us fans aren't delusional, we're valid in our anger, betrayal, resentment and distrust even if there's nothing we can do but vent.