#but bc sun is violent everyone hates him

[moonlit-dreamers]

im gonna try and keep this short so people dont look at this and go "long post i wont read"

i just wanna talk about how lunar and sun are treated so differently even though they are both trauma and abuse survivors (im not arguing about whether sun isnt or not, because he is and im not diving into that)

lunar is what people usually think of when they think of "trauma survivor." when he gets triggered he panics, he runs, and he cries.

sun is *not* what people think of when they think of trauma survivor. when sun gets triggered he panics, he fights, and he gets violent

(ever heard of fight or flight?)

sun is *still* a trauma survivor and how he reacts is a *trauma response. and it is a common response.*

with trauma disorders its common for the people with them to become irritable and violent when upset. *that* is what sun is experiencing.

stop demonizing a traumatized person for having unpalatable trauma responses. its wrong and ableist towards trauma survivors who are violent and angry because theyre scared.

[seireitonin]

Do you have any 30 year old Toby head cannons?

(Omg yay a rare question:3 no one ever acknowledges 30 year old Toby! Kinda sucks bc I think his story as he grows up is so cool! Like man literally gets possessed and almost dies or dies depending on how you look at it. Anyway onto the hcs. There’s gonna be some canon stuff mixed in too :3)

🪓 After being taken in by Slender at 17, and continuing to kill people for most of his life, he’s become so desensitized to danger and violence

🪓 I mean he got mixed in with killers and criminals at 17 and solidified his space within them by 25

🪓 But Toby is full of himself. Cocky. Obnoxious. Cold. He thinks he’s untouchable due to his strength, being good at fighting and his CIPA.

🪓So when he flies too close to the sun and gets caught and taken into an asylum at 30, it’s almost like he doesn’t believe it. This isn’t really happening to him is it?

🪓So when he gets strapped down to a table like an animal and put in a straight jacket, it still doesn’t make sense to him. He’s untouchable.

🪓 Since the people who work at this asylum don’t really see him as human or care, they experiment on him

🪓They play in his body and mind like a playground

🪓They took one of his eyes out without putting him to sleep. He can’t feel it anyway right?

🪓 The treatment is brutal. The treatment is cruel. It takes what little sanity he had left.

🪓 Not because it hurts, obviously, but because it reminds him of that helpless feeling of abuse

🪓 He was a man now. Not a 17 year old being abused by his dad. So why was he in this helpless position?

🪓 Was all that killing he did to get stronger and to feel more powerful for nothing? Was he always meant to be controlled and abused by other people?

🪓 This is the point Slenderman helps him get out. Toby is an even more perfect puppet now.

🪓 Toby tries to let go of anything connecting him to his humanity. He believes it made him weaker.

🪓 Gets more brutal with his killing

🪓 Almost like a wounded animal lashing out, because he is. His pride is hurt. And ironically, his heart is hurt

🪓 Being in that asylum really brought back memories of his dad and how he’s one of the reasons he’s in this fucked up position in his life in the first place

🪓He’s even more pissed that he has one eye now

🪓 Everyone makes fun of him for it causing more violent episodes

🪓 Doesn’t want to be seen as weak or less than. So he uses violence to assert himself. He’s more insecure than ever about it now

🪓 He won’t be under anyone or be bullied by anyone ever again. Or be beneath anyone ever again.

🪓 Still has a sliver of empathy. In his own way, still doesn’t want to be like his dad

🪓 Refuses to trust anyone except for the people closest to him

🪓Assumes most people want to hurt him or take advantage of him

🪓 His whole life is miserable. Why is he even here?

🪓 Has tried to kill himself multiple times, but Slenderman has “blessed” him with immortality. Lucky him.

🪓 Part of him wants to stop and try and get better but he knows he probably can’t. So he delves even deeper into the violence. He’s miserable.

🪓Any healing and progress he’s made through his relationships romantic or not is completely gone.

🪓 He’s colder, crueler and meaner than ever

🪓Not because he hates the people he cares about, but he’s doing it to protect himself in his mind. He’s just terrified of loosing them or being hurt. Or his worst fear, hurting them. Especially if it’s a romantic partner.

🪓 “It’s a waste of your fucking time, trying to care about me. We both know there’s no hope for me” He tells them as he glares with the one eye he has left. And he means every word.

🪓 Pushes everyone away from him. He can’t handle the thought of his progress and the people he cares about being ripped away from him.

🪓”God, someone help me” he often thinks to himself. But he knows no one’s coming. He knows no one can save him. Despite how bad he wants it.

🪓So he’ll “help” himself. More killing. More violence. More bloodshed. More sex. More everything. Just to have control over something. Anything.

🪓 A dead man walking

[sketching-shark]

Bangs head on my desk. Its sooooo fucking hard I have literally most of the LMK fandom blocked and I still can’t fucking escape that mid ass pairing I want to explode. Honest to god it sucks because I actually like analyzing LEMH and Sun wukong’s dynamic when it comes to the original story and like the idea of a character trying so hard to be this other person they just fundamentally erase any aspect of who they could be. That shit is interesting (especially if you interpret the two as actual family bc there’s a level of. Tragedy there) but NOOO mfs wanna focus on shipping clones/siblings together instead and painfully writing both characters ooc instead of just making an oc good fucking god. ( that being said I really like the art you draw of LEMH. It’s really cool. Keep up the good work 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾)

fregarewargtfds I once saw someone describe the LEMH & SWK ship as jttw retellings's reylo and. hm. yeah.

BUT YEAH YEAH YEAH to this day one of the things I find most baffling about the western monkie kid & jttw fandom is this widespread refusal to even recognize LEMH's actions in the og classic. Because it's like: here we have what could very well be one of literature's first instances of the "evil twin" trope and it's being done SPECIFICALLY in a way to create the maximum amount of conflict and uncertainty for SWK!

Because on one hand the false monkey of the true and false monkey king arc is essentially the very embodiment of everything that SWK ever wanted; LEMH, in copying SWK so completely, does it in such a way where he gets to be both a yaoguai warlord with a loving family AND a holy pilgrim bound for glory at the exact same time, whereas SWK is constantly being forced to choose between the two! But LEMH's also doing it in the worst way possible! He beats Tang Sanzang into unconsciousness, steals their stuff for his own use, and in so doing drives a serious rift between SWK and the pilgrims!

He clearly doesn't give af about the Mt. Huaguoshan monkeys outside of how they can serve as his personal tools to fulfill his own aims! He just wants them to use their own powers of transformation so that they can serve as his own obedient group of pilgrims! He even eats one of them as part of a merry feast he throws for himself after a violent encounter with Sha Wujing, and immediately has that monkey replaced with another! And he's doing ALL of this wearing SWK's face and adapting SWK's mannerisms! EVERYONE thinks that it's SWK doing these things! It's like LEMH's very existence is throwing it in SWK's face how this horrible version of himself is closer to achieving ALL of SWK's desires than SWK ever was, and that no matter how much SWK tries to change for the better even the two sides of his beloved family automatically think even this version which would inflict such violence on them is the "true" him! No wonder SWK hated him so much!

And AUGH the possibility of LEMH either being a manifestation of SWK's worst impulses or of being his brother just ramps the tragedy and horror of this situation even more! Like if it was part of SWK inflicting all this pain on the people SWK loves most, well there is truly something messed up about this situation where even if it's not technically "you" going along with your worst impulses they will still hurt people! Could you ever trust yourself again? Should you? How much of the blame for this situation lies with you? And can it be enough to fully acknowledge you have violent impulses but don't act on them?

And yes @the-bitter-ocean even in interpretations where LEMH is some random yaoguai who decides to commit identity fraud the story from his point of view of him throwing away his identity so completely that there's basically nothing left of him is just...goddamn. In his ambition he literally reduced himself to one part of SWK's story, just one more obstacle for the Monkey King to overcome.

And SCREAM if LEMH was SWK's brother? Imagine this situation where for SWK he's confronted by what is essentially the culmination of his failures to protect his family, where his beloved brother (I'm saying beloved because SWK loved all members of his monkey family very much) ended up despising SWK so much that he has essentially destroyed everything that he was or could have been in his bid to be the "real" monkey king and bring glory back to that name, but does so in the worst way possible to the point where SWK feels he has to take down LEMH himself. And then for LEMH, you can see how love and admiration for his brother would be twisted into resentment, envy, obsession, and hatred due to the series of atrocities the Mt. Huaguoshan simians faced in large part as a consequence of SWK's challenge to the heavens and his own sense of entitlement, so that eventually he convinced himself he would be a more "true" monkey king than the monkey king himself, and thus completely discarded his own identity to take on that of his brother, and in doing so basically tossed his own morals given how his "version" of the monkey king cares for no one but himself.

Sorry for the rant! But all the pieces for a whole series of interesting tragedies are! Already! Right! There!!!!! Why are we all so hellbent on ignoring/rewriting them!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[edalynn]

Huntlow shippers almost exclusively focus on hunter angst with willow being his emotional support decoration and when ppl (me) point this out everyones like NO WE LOVE WILLOW SHES UHHHHHH COOL AND STRONG so ppl (me) engage with the ship in good faith and come up with a scenario where they could make their relationship interesting in the show and almost the whole scenario revolves around how willow after being bullied her whole life has a hard time believing someone could crush on her and things ensue that shes sad about which gives her more depth as a character. And then every huntlow shipper that has literally anything to say about it says something along the lines of "ZOMG HUNTER WILL BE SOOOOOOOO SAD ABOUT WILLOW HAVING A CRISIS HERES HOW I THINK HUNTER WILL DEAL WITH THIS SCENARIO ALL ABOUT WILLOW"

Huntlow shippers care about willow. Sure. She definitely isnt a self insert for ppl who just want to ship hunter with anyone. They definitely didnt sandpaper her entire personality and nuance. And they definitely didnt just flanderize her into a violent brute.

YEEEAAHHH yeah you're so right. I hate hunt/low with the burning rage of a million suns, BUT I do have to admit that that IS a way they could make the ship more interesting & tolerable bc of the depths it gives Willow specifically. I havent seen that reaction bc I literally havent seen one person (until this ask) actually give some thought into what could be done to make the ship interesting, but somehow Im entirely unsurprised that that's the response of most shippers. Like, it's so hard to get them to understand that shipping them just so Willow will be put in the situation where she has to "fix" him is really fucked up and not a good storyline in the first place. Please stop manic pixie dream girl-ing Willow. That's not who she is and just shows yall dont care about her at all, just what she can do for Hunter/be for Hunter. She's such a complex and interesting character and every hunt/low take ive seen completely washes all of that away to make her some swoony lovesick teen and nothing else. Sorry! No personality for you anymore willow, you're in a het relationship now :-)

She's DEFINITELY a place holder for ppl that just want Hunter to be in a relationship which is why they dont pay attention to her character at all lmao. They just want a pretty girl to like hunter & it's the closest thing to being canon that they've got because the storyboard artists bait it so much.

[twinklepark]

(*saw 6x08 at tribeca yesterday, i’m queueing this thought for when it airs because i feel. insane)

ever since 6x03 aired, i got the distinct sense that something about nacho’s fate got under gus’ skin, but hadn’t been able to pinpoint what it was. after this ep, however, i’m fairly confident that it was him finally recognizing on some level that nacho’s intense, righteous hatred of the cartel meant that all along, the two of them were more alike than they were different. more than a simplistic question of remorse, it turned my attention to how in bcs, most characters have an unanswerable moral question to them- and gus’ is is he meaningfully different from the people he hates (tip: i reject a yes/no answer here)

i feel like in discussions of gus’ actions, it’s easy to get lost in this idea that because he himself is so at peace with the heartlessness and brutality he’s adopted out of pragmatism, it doesn’t matter what his motives are. but, completely divorced from debates on what this does and doesn’t justify (which don’t interest me) it does him a huge disservice to ignore that these people hurt him in an extremely profound way, and one that defines his placement on this food chain.

which brings us to. the scene. with the parallel.

so the short version is gus killed lalo by emulating nacho. good fucking lord

reading gus is always gonna mean taking out a magnifying glass, but this, to me, feels like his answer to nacho’s last act, an acknowledgment of where everyone stands in relation to each other.

just as, i now suspect, his refusal to watch hector and the twins shoot at his body may have to do with the recognition that he has more in common with the corpse currently being desecrated (because of him) than the men doing it– here he’s acted in a way that, narratively speaking, aligns himself with the memory of the man he wronged.

when he speaks to his designs for hector, he is, in effect, completing nacho’s claim to his suffering. nacho put him in that chair and now gus is going to ensure he’s miserable, etc. which makes sense, as something that i felt we probably should’ve been acknowledging about how all the men nacho cursed out met violent ends was that.. gus and his vendetta was responsible for an overwhelming amount of that. like that seems kind of important.

now, gus’ take on the I Hope You All Fucking Die speech, in this context, is in many ways the exact opposite to nacho’s. nothing about it frees him, or satisfies him in any meaningful way. (if he dies here, without getting revenge, then two decades of his life were rendered totally meaningless. but if he lives, then these words will never reach the ears of the men he hates.)

it’s not a triumphant last stand in the desert sun by a man making a noble sacrifice, it’s a desperate ploy in a dark dank tomb by a man who’s been so rotted through by his rage and hatred that there is nothing but that left for him. (and yet, it’s also why he refuses to die here)

the other thing that really really stands out to me is that between bcs and brba, we only see gus directly, violently kill 3 characters (not counting the poison) and the previous two were calculated ploys to reaffirm his authoritative position. (they were cruel, but the SPECTACLE of the cruelty was part of the intended function.) everything about his last confrontation with lalo, however, functioned as a reminder that no matter how far he’s come, to them, he’s still the man who had his blood-splattered face ground into the deck of eladio’s pool 20 years earlier. none of his hard-won power would stop these people from eating him alive if he slips for even a moment. (again reaffirming he shares more with our dearly departed nacho than the men he turned him over to for execution)

when people speculated about something like this happening, it generally came with the assumption that it’d be in typical controlled evil genius gustavo fring fashion, some act of chilling methodical cruelty– but i’m so so so enamored with how that couldn’t be further from the actual scene. everything from the way lalo lightheartedly degraded him to the act of frantically firing into the dark reflect a relationship to the salamancas that he’s been desperately trying (and failing) to crawl out from under. lalo got the last laugh here, after all, even if the one cursing his name got to live this time.

of course, who’s to say how nacho would’ve felt about any of this. this recognition can only go one way, and nacho more than anyone else in this story seemed to resist gus’ narrative that he’s different (see: him asking mike if he knows what kind of person he's working for in 5x06 right after mike was theoretically swayed by his motivations in 5x05). but he’s dead now. so he doesn’t exactly get a say in what his memory is used for.

and gus is already so fundamentally defined by one ghost, so like, what’s another, really

in conclusion: i liked to joke about the better timeline where gus was just marginally less of a total freak and recognized that nacho trying to kill hector made them On The Same Side. but i honestly didn’t think that this is a conclusion gus himself could reach. happy gay wrath month

[maggicktouched]

So this is a very old drabble that’s been in my gdocs forever. Idk why I never put it out back when @selkiewife was still running the Asha blog I wrote with. But I was reading through all my old stuff in that verse and found that I actually kinda like this still. It has a lot more to say about Grani (Also referred to as Hábrók in my more recent canon) than Beck or Asha, but I love him and would die for him so I still like it. 

I think I never posted this because I felt it lacked a lot of good description and the prose was kinda messy. And it is, but the last edit on this was from like 2 years ago so I figure maybe I should be gentle with myself lol. 

Also if the mun who wrote Asha is not ok with me posting old stuff or continuing to write drabbles in that verse bc they no longer rp, I will take this down.

Asha gripped the leather of the bridle tightly in her hand and stared at her opponent with a determined fury. When she had started there had been thralls and guardsmen stomping and shouting in the rocky walls of the soggen courtyard of Pyke Castle. But that had been what felt like an eternity ago, and between her barking curses and a ballad of violent threats, the place was all but abandoned. It was just the two of them now.

Her adversary ran a close race for the most cantankerous, hateful creature Asha had ever seen.

Grani was a golden splendor with muscles made from cords of raw power and he drew the eye of everyone that looked upon him with his almost ethereal color and a mane that might have rivaled a lion. He had emerged one day from the rolling grey seas around the island; his mane had been caked with sand and his tail knotted with seaweed. Against the backdrop of the roaring waters he looked like a spear of light broken off from the sun and fallen to the earth. She remembered standing on the docks watching a group of men flock to the stallion, who charged them in spite of their waving ropes and arms and their shouts of anger and fear. Pyke men were meant for handling ships, not horses, and they’d parted for him just as the waves had. He had let no man close, no woman reach out to stroke him, and he cantered through the cluttered streets with wild abandon, bellowing and shrieking a terrible riot that caused every haggard old mule and well trained steed to fight to join him.

And she had known instantly what he was searching for: her wife. He made it halfway up the hill to the castle when he slid to a stop in front of a figure whose golden hair matched his own striking fur. Her wife was still embracing him with a desperate eagerness by the time she had managed to wrangle one of the horses he’d left behind and ride up to meet them. 

Their meeting had not been a warm one. It ended with her wife standing between her and an angry, open mouthed stallion, trying to explain. He was her familiar, she’d said, which Asha had come to learn was the funny term Beck used for her gaggle of animal companions that ran rampant in the castle. She explained that she had returned him to his wild herds so that he wouldn’t be confined to life on such a small island. As to how the hell he’d gotten to Pyke, Beck had given her no answer, and Asha couldn’t be sure if that was because she didn’t have one herself or she simply didn’t want to.

That had been well over a year ago, and Grani had remained a constant thorn in her side whether he was chasing thralls out of the stable or her wife was sneaking him inside the castle walls. But today she needed this worthless stubborn bastard, and she would be damned if she admitted defeat to a bloody horse.

“I know you know where she is!” She snarled, holding up the bridle as if to prove a point. They had long since past the point where she was concerned about looking like a mad woman for arguing with a horse. The rope around his neck ground against itself, and the iron hinges of the post he was tied to whined in protest beneath the sound of heavy rain on the stable roof. His ears were laid so flat against his head that he looked more reptile than equine, and every time she so much as exhaled, he opened his mouth to show off his teeth. When he snorted, clouds of mist escaped into the cold air, making him look even more like a dragon.

Grani was leaning back on his haunches against the hitching post as if he might rip it out of the ground. A part of her feared he would. The stallion wasn’t the largest horse she’d ever seen, but his bones were thick, and his muscles toned, and his withers were nearly as tall as she was. 

The beast had refused to be haltered and brought out of the stable like a reasonable creature, and so she and a team of men had resorted to tossing ropes around his neck and using a pair of draft mules to pry him out of the comfort of the barn into the miserably wet courtyard. They’d lashed three of those ropes to the hitching post, which was groaning traitorously as if it might give way any minute, and he had been actively attempting to attack all of them as they got him secure. Asha had hoped once the icy rain hit his face and soaked him to the core that misery would dampen the fire inside him, and he would relent and do as she said like any other horse, in an attempt to get it over with. But Grani was spiteful as an old crone, and continued to fight her over every single thing.

She couldn’t wrap her mind around it properly. Once Theon had brought home a monster of a big black horse that he’d named Smiler. Theon had found amusement in the furry bastard’s desire to take off every hand that ever tried to feed him. He’d liked the domination of it, she supposed. The creature had never settled. It’d been temporarily corralled or bridled, it’d been spurred and cropped into temporary submission, but the second an opportunity presented itself, Smiler would take a chunk out of anyone too stupid to get out of his way. 

But it wasn’t the same with Grani.

Watching the stallion and Beck together was like watching fanciful girlhood dreams come true. He whickered quietly when he saw her—ears forward, eyes lit up with anticipation. He followed her with no lead to bind him. When she hopped upon his back she used neither saddle nor bridle. She could ride him at breakneck speeds down by the shores, or up through the market filled with people. If one had never seen the beast outside of the company of the witch, they might have assumed he was the most well mannered stallion to ever grace the earth. Asha assumed it had to do with the influence of magic.

The problem was that Beck wasn’t there at the moment, and Asha didn’t know where the hell she’d run off to in this downpour.  

It was not as simple as holding the stallion still. Where other horses balked or reared or shied from unwelcome hands, Grani pressed forward, mouth open, perfectly happy to rip a chunk out of anyone too slow to avoid him. And when he turned his hips to kick, the blows were precise as an arrow. He offered no warnings, and he showed no fear. If she were less proud she likely would have left him alone, but she was churning with barely contained rage by now.

“All you have to do is take me to her.” Asha dared to reach out and grab his mane, and he tried to bite her just as she thought he would. Beck’s animals had the strange ability to find her wherever she went, and that was what Asha needed right now. Her wife had left the castle earlier that morning while the sky was still dark, and she had thought she could use the stallion to help her find Beck. Of course that had been well over an hour ago, and at this point it would have been faster to send men to search for her wife… but now it was personal.

Asha reached up and grabbed the forelock of the angry stallion and he twisted to the right, but she held on as if she were clutching a sea-sogged rope. He reared up with a furious squeal, lashing out his front legs. Asha felt her feet lift the ground but she held on for all she was worth. She hooked a leg behind the beast’s neck as if she meant to swing herself onto his back, and it was the only thing that saved her from his strike. Her other leg was about to wrap around his neck to hold fast, when the stallion surged forward and thrust her against the iron hitching post. The wind was forced from her instantly. Her legs dropped back down to the ground, and she heaved desperately for air, but she refused to let him go. She’d suffocate before she let him go. Before she was bested by an animal. Her people would never respect her again. But goddamn if her back didn’t ache from the impact.

Clinging to the tousled mane of the stallion, panting for air, she realized he had ceased his mad tantrum. She dared to look him in the eye, and found that he was still sourly glaring at her, ears pinned, tail lashing his sides like the waves on the rocks beneath the castle.

They each stood perfectly still for a moment after that, and Asha, foolishly, thought she had won. She untangled one hand and grabbed the bridle off the post, before lifting it up to his poll. The bit rested against his lips. He did not open his mouth, and she did not dare stick her fingers between his lips to encourage it. 

Alright. Perhaps she hadn’t won.

“You’re a hateful bastard, you know that?” She muttered as she flung the bridle over the hitching post and stepped away to slump against the wall. Grani watched her, his ears no longer pinned and his hooves no longer stamping the cobblestones. Somewhere in the distance a loud bell began to toll to signal the arrival of a small fleet of ships. The northern fleet, here to discuss the terms of their alliance.

“I guess you win by default.” She said. Asha rolled her shoulders to loosen the tension they’d gathered, and then she ran a hand through her salt-stained hair and groaned as she picked up the cloak she had shed. It was as soaked as the rest of her and offered little warmth. 

She was about to call for a stable boy to come release the horse and try and herd it back inside, when Grani took a few small steps toward the post he was tied to. The ropes lassoed around his neck loosened a bit, and he gave a very purposeful shake, and they relaxed even more. Then, very deliberately, he lowered his head and backed away until he was free of his bonds. 

He’d been fucking with her. The entire time.

Asha couldn’t restrain the laugh that bubbled up past her lips. “Aye, that would be the manner of trick Beck would teach you.”

But now that he was free, she wasn’t nearly so brazen, and when he began to walk toward her, Asha straightened her shoulders. Any other horse might have had the sense to pause at that sort of body language. Grani did not. He continued until she was standing beside his withers, and then he stopped. When she lifted her hand he didn’t turn to pin his ears or stomp one of his hooves on the cobbles. When she laid that hand flat on his side, he didn’t even raise his head.

“So that was it then?” She might have been angry if not for a disconcerting feeling that settled in the pit of her stomach. Steam was rolling up off the stallion’s body, and she watched it, transfixed, as she stroked him. The beast looked back at her, then shoved his muzzle against her hip lightly, causing her to stumble.

“What you just---needed to see me give up?” She snorted. “Wanted to hear me say it?”

Of course not. He was a horse. And Asha might not have been the greatest rider to have ever lived but she knew they weren’t that bright. They didn’t have logic, and they didn’t understand speech. 

Grani bumped her hip again, a little harder this time, but instead of hopping onto his back, she stepped away.

A manservant called to her across the yard, “Come.” 

She looked up to see who would have to gall to command her like that, especially after a morning of watching her lose her temper, but she saw no men in the yard. 

“I’m not in any mood for a jest!” She replied, peering behind a stack of hay bales. No one responded. Asha felt a shiver travel down her spine and called out more hesitantly. “Beck?”

Again there was no response, but Grani bumped her again.

“What? You expect me to just…” Her voice trailed away. After all Beck never saddled or bridled the ornery beast. Perhaps that had been his problem all along. She felt instantly comforted by that realization. He wasn’t trying to make a point; he was just scared of something he didn’t know. That was it.

Asha gripped the base of the stallion’s mane and jumped once to see if he’d flinch away. When he didn’t, she jumped again, this time pulling herself up and throwing a leg over his back. She was still more than just a little surprised when he didn’t take off tearing around the courtyard bucking and rearing. Instead he gave her a moment to adjust her hefty cloak and get her seat underneath her, and then he began to walk. The steady beat turned to a swift trot once they cleared the gates and went out onto the bridge. She had no control, and not the slightest idea where they were going as they entered the fog beyond the bridge. With luck he’d take her to her wife and they’d be home before the Northerners got off their ship, but the lingering fear he’d dump her off the first cliff they came to remained.

[badbacksadsack]

merry xmas guys, be safe

It could be whatever I feel alone a lot even when I'm with someone I feel like I don't check in enough with self I would like to do better at checking in Maybe check out some journal prompts I feel bad about being a sw I feel guilty and shameful about asking men on the internet for help however the times that I needed money felt dirty too I felt as if I was being bent over a metaphorical barrel by life

Just existing after coming back to the UK (adter being forced into islamic boarding school in africa) without any parents or family to support me I felt like I had to make money to survive somehow Existing was expensive so many costs with no income streams, the only people I've told were doing the same thing or 'worse' selling and taking dr(u)gs, coincidentally the first proper lgbtqia+ group of friends I've ever met/lived with which honestly clouds my judgment of a whole group I'm a part of It really shouldn't, I honestly wish it didn't My representation of the 'community' or the one I now belong to, the chosen family rather than (over) my 'actual' (biological) family seems to be (is/) one just as dysfunctional, gaslighty and gatekeeping as the one I escaped and I felt like I had to do what I usually do, disengage, avoid, not share myself as freely to protect my energy, my fragile mental health (i want to build resilience) and become 'harsh' aka be stingy with my finances (it felt harsh whenever my mum/sister used to share anything they would leverage that thing, now I struggle to recognise I need help and hate asking for it) and I wish to be generous but with boundaries so it doesn't feel harsh, to have money for myself, my future house, my goals to build the life I want Everyone deserves happiness. Everyone Above happiness is peace, that is the goal I am part of everyone and my happiness matters Whether or not I am under or overweight, I matter and Everyone deserves to eat no matter what, it is a basic necessity. I didn't have the language to express to my ex, a communist mental health nurse, a person who worked in that (mine)field of psychology, that I was struggling in part due to psychosocial factors not just MH problems or home dynamic stuff w my brother, I was flat broke, not eating, not getting a good circadian rhythm, the pandemic started and I was struggling with picking up my meds on time, feeling worse than I've ever felt when off them, then the pressure of my uncle and getting to shifts, after there was a shooting there, being on public transport in peak covid, getting groceries and cleaning the house I had stopped talking to (broken up with my abusive ex best friend) around that time so honestly the lack of a support system or any one to talk to was getting to me with the icing being that fucking traumatising few days where I injured my hand, got sectioned with stitches in my finger, got drunk w few days after, stupidly thought to surprise him, got the long way by bus bc the trains were off, ended up getting there in some dark area I wasn't familiar with, Drunk, and at unsociable hours, I wrote a left handed Drunk note left it on his car and spent the night stranded at the station until the sun came up because the buses weren't running I forgive myself for not having the words that day or any time around that I forgive myself for drinking when I didn't have any other coping mechanisms or anyone to talk to I forgive myself for calling the police on my violent abusive sister because if I had any other way to manage that situation safely, if I could handle it, I would have, I didn't mean anyone any harm that day and I took back the statement very soon after even with my black eye

I refuse to live my life in the past, my actions back then when I had nobody to listen, or talk to, or feel warmth about aren't who I am or will be.

My past selves are not reflective of my whole future selves, I learned a lot of life lessons to apply. Not all good or all bad, shades of grey. I forgive myself for not having the language to express to my current partner how scared I am sometimes because of situations I've been through, don't want to ever repeat or what I've been told. I forgive myself for shutting down when I've been taught to be small, have no needs and stop talking. I am human I deserve to speak, my lack of words sometimes is not a lack of feeling. The opposite, when I feel I get scared they might make the other person reject me, it triggers my abandonment wound, as a kid I felt I needed my mum to guide, love, support me but she was her own depressed person with an abandonment wound herself, she is human and humans can make mistakes. Life lessons from my mum are not all good but they're not all bad, shades of grey. I have to know what I'm healing from in order to move on. I have the power to release myself from the shackles I put on myself, self limiting beliefs are the water getting into your ship to sink it. I want to keep scooping that negative energy out of my vessel, I want to mind my thoughts, think light thoughts and when life gets stormy I want to sit with myself in the rain until it feels safe to go in and find shelter. All I know is that now it hurts but it won't be forever, even when I hurt it's not all bad or all good, the hurt tells me what I don't like or need to change. The lessons that serve me I want to water, pay attention to, and the ones that don't will be politely discussed but politely discarded. Thanks but no thanks.

[bratz-kitten]

attack on titan characters - birth chart analysis 🌙

Here is my take on the big 6 of Levi, Eren, Armin and Mikasa of attack on titan/shingeki no kyojin! I kept their sun signs since we know the day and month of their birthday and since I think they’re absolutely perfect. If you want me to do my take on the others (like Jean, Historia, Erwin, Hanji, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, etc) please let me know! (spoiler warning!)

Levi Ackerman

sun in capricorn - levi mf ackerman is fuelled by three things and three things only: LOYALTY, a strong moral code and power. he is seen by most people as a heartless, unemotional bastard but is canonically the most emotional character - he shows love through very indirect ways and he’s the peak of capricorn in the sense that he represses his emotions – he smiled literally ONE time in four seasons, and didn’t once shed a tear. he’s very hard to read. has a lot of respect for his superiors and follows the orders of only those he’s loyal to. he’s driven by his moral codes in the sense that the protection of humanity is his prime motive for fighting titans. like a true capricorn, is the master of his field of work and cares the most about being a survey corp member. please protect this tragic baby. 

virgo rising - two words: CLEAN FREAK. this man has a strong need to be presentable at all times and hates getting blood on his hands for the single fact that he needs himself and his environment to be clean. his obsession with being clean is very much due to his childhood trauma and how he lived in in poor conditions in the underground. he has many quirks that correlate with this: the way he holds his cup, the carvat he uses bc of his mother, and the way he always cuts his own hair because that’s the way his mother used to do it.  intimidating and demands respect. DRY HUMOUR. 

moon in scorpio - i think he has many similarities with mikasa, especially in the moon and venus. introverted and hates people but will go to the ends of the earth to protect the ones he loves and respects. represses emotions and internalizes his hatred until he has a mental breakdown - which happens in the form of extreme violence. VERY sensitive and emotional even if he doesn’t show it. he’s very intuitive and often acts based on gut; he’s secretive and vindictive. very wise and great at giving advice. doesn’t let himself get manipulated and uses shitty situations to his advantage (like with the reeves company). trust is the most important thing to him.

mercury in aquarius - levi is extremely logical, and hates when others involve their feelings in the making of decisions. his decisions are always backed up by strong arguments and others often see him as cold and detached. i saw someone  mention something extremely interesting about aquarius mercury’s/people with their mercuries in the 11th house: despite not being very sociable, others are drawn to them for friendships – and often they’re the introverts who get “adopted” by extroverts. this is 100% levi’s case, hanji and erwin practically adopted him. being very vulgar with his words and having a distinctive sense of humour, he’s very humanitarian and is actually really talkative but only when he’s very comfortable around someone. blunt, always tells it like it is – like when he tells eren he can’t know what the right choice really is and he needs to choose it himself. teases and insults his friends as a form of affection.

mars in scorpio - levi’s a fighter, a survivor. he knows what it’s like to come from nothing and have to build himself up. very confrontational. reclaims his power by exerting intimidation and mastering violence. others fear doing as much as make a joke at his expense. understands other’s motivations and characters very easily. he’s very intuitive. very serious due to his need for having an intense and demanding presence, for being respected and valued. he’s the one who everyone sighs of relief when things go to shit and he appears because you know he’s the strongest and most dependable person.

venus in capricorn - good luck getting this motherfucker to open up. his trust is very hard to gain but is necessary for working with him – he places his full trust in his comrades and demands the same from them. very work-oriented and takes relationships very serious; it’s really telling that he cares little for romance because capricorn venuses are the ones to date to marry, and will only devote themselves to someone once they believe they’ve met the one. they either want a more powerful and mature partner or they exude that energy (levi is the latter). slightly parental – we see this in the way that levi is pretty much the dad figure. it’s called squad levi for a reason, after all. very responsible. takes care of loved ones and often uses tough love as a form of discipline.

Eren Jaeger - im not even kidding with this one, he has extreme aries energy

sun in aries - eren feels the need to be very independent and he hates whenever he has to depend on mikasa and others, wanting to be strong enough to reverse the roles. he’s very self-confident, bold and direct. very impulsive, he’s quick to anger but is also very quick to forget - especially seen with his arguments with jean, fighting him is basically a love language at this point. aries suns are very fast thinkers and their strong energy may come off as intimidating. they have great intentions but that often becomes muddled with their impulsivity and the fact that they don’t think ideas through. eren is unabashedly himself and fights relentlessly for what he wants. his aries energy also makes him extremely motivated! he believes in the impossible and will make it happen no matter what.

aries rising – aries risings are the trailblazers. they ooze intensity. eren has very much a baby face and, due to his impulsivity and childish charm, people tend to baby him a lot – in the sense that he’s this kid surrounded by adults who needs supervision at all times or he’ll get into deep shit. aries risings are also marked by their extreme need for action, they’re the ones to do now and apologize later instead of asking for permission to do something in the first place. he is guided by his passion and is a natural leader who inspires everyone to fight alongside him. aries risings have a lot of energy which they need to express in a physical way, making them be prone to be very athletic and lead very active lives. he’s also extremely competitive and is driven by the force of becoming stronger than mikasa, and often feels angry when he realizes how stronger than him other people can be. at the same time, this pressure to be better is put solely on himself. he’s a dumbass with a good-heart and pure intentions.

moon in sagittarius – all this motherfucker talks about is freedom and seeing the world past the walls. he craves adventure and is extremely optimistic. but even if a sagittarius moon needs their freedom, they are still absolutely ride-or-dies and once they’ve commited to something, NOTHING or NO ONE can stop their determination. these are also the people to try their best to always appear cheerful and full of determination to hide their sad façade – like when he was nearly vomiting when talking about the titans to the other recruits when they began the training in the military but still forced himself to say that the titans aren’t scary at all and that they aren’t a big deal; he naturally inspires others and fills them with courage. but the way they put on this strong and brave façade leads to a strong emotional turmoil, violent urges and a sudden hostility to others. they are filled with surpressed anger that can lead them through very destructive paths – and the happy-go-lucky child might just lose her hope. we see this in eren in the most heartbreaking way.

mercury in aries – LOUD!!! eren speaks what’s on his mind with NO hesitation whatsover. he’s very quick to defend his friends and points of view, and speaks openly about his passions and dreams. he’s very assertive and tenacious. short attention span and not afraid to give a different opinion from someone else’s. very passionate about what he argues about. very expressive and when an aries mercury disagrees with you, you’ll know it immediately by their facial expression. confident and thrives on inspiring others. remember him being mad when it was discovered the possibility of all titans being humans because now he didn’t know who the enemy is and he NEEDS to hate someone and blame them in order to keep going? ARIES MERCURY ENERGY!!

mars in aries - people look to mars in aries to lead them. they’re full of energy and dynamic, and very athletic - eren exceeds at hand-to-hand combat and, in the other subjects where he’s not so good, his determination makes him push forward and become better. VERY hot-headed and confrontational, which is both the source of all their problems and their strength - they are not afraid of going after what they want and are willing to go through any obstacle to do so, and they’re also not afraid of upsetting other people in order to do so. eren is courageous, loves to take initiative and is very enthusiastic - something that is very contageous. competitive and hates compromise, he likes getting his own way. aries mars are also very individualistic and can have a huge ego.

venus in pisces - i know this is going to confuse a lot of people - like, how does he have so much aries energy, how is he so intense yet has one of the softest venus placements? i deeply believe he’s a pisces venus, and here’s why. his friends are EVERYTHING to him. pisces venus’ love very deeply and are very dependent on their loved ones, and eren is extremely protective of his loved ones and is willing to do anything to protect them. pisces venus’ are very vengeful, too, something that people seem to brush off about them - they might not do anything when you mess with them but as soon as you mess with their friends it’s game over. i also get a lot of “there was no other way, the word had to be fixed” vibes from this placement? like, this placement gives me the energy of someone willing to commit awful crimes under the excuse of it being for the greater good, which is something he dramatically experiences as he grows older and witnesses the cruelty of the world.

Armin Arlert

sun in scorpio - armin very resourceful!! he easily adapts to the circunstances he’s in and works his way around it. very intelligent and with great memory. extremely manipulative, cunning and perceptive. scorpios are known for their capability to be great investigators due to their natural curiosity, and armin has this deep need to see the world outside of the walls and he studies all there is to know about it with great passion. determined to succeed. 

cancer rising - armin just wants to achieve his dream and it’s so soft. cancer risings are very receptive of other’s emotions and incredibly sensitive, but it’s difficult for them to open up to others. his appearance is very soft and delicate. loves to help others and has a naturally warm presence that makes others feel comfortable in his presence. give off a very grounded and stable energy, but this is often because they try to hide their most intense emotions and don’t know how to deal with them/don’t want to bother others by opening up about it. 

moon in pisces - one word: EMPATHY!!! very compassionate. tendency to become a martyr and be very self-sacrificial. VERY imaginative, he is the strategist, after all. can feel others emotions and read them very easily. avoids confrontation but feels a strong need to take the weight off of others’ shoulders and to solve all their problems. very loving and giving, in tune with his emotions and emotionally intelligent. on the other side, this caring side of him can make him see other people through rose-colored glasses, and he is prone to believing in the best in people and giving them the benefit of the doubt. but when they’ve proven their true nature to him, he’ll see them for what they are and will no longer defend them, even if still feeling remorse. notice how he’s always like “this had to be done, we had no other choice” to justify his actions.

mercury in scorpio - bro armin’s eyes are so intense. when he gets on his manipulative bullshit it’s IMPOSSIBLE to look away from his gaze. he practically communicates through the eyes. armin is very sharp and his innocent appearance has everyone still thinking of him as a sweet angel as if he isn’t a whole war criminal. he easily psychoanalizes others to know what they want and uses it to his advantage, like how he used berthold’s love for annie to manipulate him to let eren go after him and reiner kidnapped him. scorpio mercuries be knowing shit, they be knowing everyone’s secrets and others usually confide in them as if they’re their therapists. 

mars in pisces - mars in pisces makes a person avoid physical confrontation at all costs. notice how armin’s first response to everyone wanting to kill reiner and bertold/the marleyans was “please let’s just talk about this first”? he hates violence and deems it not worthy most times. he is very physically weak and aware of his limitations, unlike eren and levi, whose first instinct is to use violence in order to get what they want. no, armin has developed a much more subtle and effective way to get what he wants without using violence: emotional manipulation. he is the KING of appearing innocent and naïve and having people feel bad for him and want to baby him and protect him, and due to his extremely intuitive nature, he knows EXACTLY what to say to someone to get under their skin. he twists his words and emotions to get what he needs out of people and it’s both incredible and dangerous. also, very self-sacrifical and his goals are based on his emotions.

venus in cancer - he loves so much and it’s so beautiful and heartbreaking. he gives everything to the ones he loves and thrives off of being helpful and keeping everyone safe. reads a lot into the behaviour of the people he loves. very emotionally intelligent, wants stability and to maintain peace and may bend over backwords to achieve that. needs to feel understood and has a soft spot for troubled people, those who are more demanding and assertive (eren and mikasa), people he can take care of and who can take care of him in return. very affectionate and communicative. warm presence, you can pretty much feel the love radiating out of him. 

Mikasa Ackerman 

sun in aquarius - if you get past the emotional walls of an aquarius that has them appearing detached and distant because they’d rather use intelligence than seem emotional, you’ll be met with an incredibly soft, loving and caring person. an aquarius strength is their ability to be very unique, individualistic and humanitarian individuals - they truly march to the beat of their own drum. mikasa possesses a great deal of determination and isn’t afraid of being rebellious, especially when her loved ones are in danger. 

capricorn rising - people with capricorn rising had to learn to be very independent from a very young age. mikasa is very intimidating but she has a very doll-like beauty, common to many capricorn risings. these people have had to deal with a lot ever since childhood, but they are fighters and their determination has them being able to survive even unsurmountable odds stacked up against them. capricorn risings tend to be serious and disciplined, and with a melancholic aura to them – which mikasa perfectly embodies. but the fact that these people have cancer in their descendant makes them strongly emotionally attached to their loved ones.

aquarius moon - even under the most stressful and dangerous situations, mikasa always remains in control of her emotions. she thrives in those situations, it’s the adrenaline of the moment that has her being so good at controlling her emotions until it’s safe to be anything but racional again. aquarius moons are feel very misunderstood and tend to racionalize their emotions a lot. however, it’s only due to their fear of vulnerability that they build this emotional walls, because they experience very intense emotions. i always think about that survey corp member saying “what did you have to go through for you to be like this?” when she was perfectly stable in a life-or-death situation. 

mercury in capricorn - mikasa is incredibly action-oriented and she speaks in a structured but confident way. although she’s on the quieter side and is reserved, she’s able to inspire everyone when all hope seems lost, and she’s taken up eren’s words of “if we don’t fight, we can’t win” and uses it constantly in order to keep going. she’s very hard to read due to her usually expressionless face, giving her a mysterious aura. she’s very ambitious, persuasive and determined. 

mars in capricorn - when people say that mars in capricorn people are the scariest when they’re angry, they’re not wrong. they act so calm and collected until suddenly they’re fixing you with a death glare and you’re rethinking all your life choices up until this point. mikasa might be extremely rational and calm, but as soon as someone threatens the ones she loves, she’ll stop at nothing to eliminate the threat. it’s like she fears nothing but ever being unable not to save them. she’s very responsible and reliable, with a lot of physical strength and stamina. very PROTECTIVE, grounded and GIVING 

venus in virgo - this is one of the things that makes mikasa so similar to levi, the way they love. this bitch is LOYAL to her very core. she knows very well where her loyalties are - eren and armin - and is ready to kill all her close friends and superiors in order to protect them. she threatened to kill historia if she got in the way of getting eren back home safely, jumped levi on sight when he wanted to save erwin instead of armin, and got pissed at connie for doubting eren’s intentions after the whole marleyan ordeal. acts of service are very much her love language - she constantly picks up eren’s and armin’s stuff and carries it herself or orders them to rest while she works. it’s very hard to gain her trust and loyalty but once you do it’s forever, she’s very selective about the people she cares for. she’s possessive, too - giving historia the coldest death glare in the world when she saw her with eren. i’ve also noticed that venus in virgo are very difficult to declare their emotions!! they’ll just wait for the person to notice their indirect acts of affection. very attentive to the needs and details of loved ones.  

[faraway-wanderer]

BOOKS BY ASIAN AUTHORS MASTERLIST #stopasianhate

In light of recent events and the growing anti- Asian hate in the US and UK over the course of the pandemic I wanted to put together a masterlist of books by Asian authors. Obviously, it’s not extensive and there are HUNDREDS out there, but supporting art by Asian creators is a way of showing support; read their stories, educate ourselves. It goes without saying that we should all be putting effort into reading stories of POC and by POC because even through fiction we’re learning about different cultures, countries and heritages. So here’s some books to start with by Asian authors!

Here is a link also for resources to educate and petitions to sign (especially if you don’t read haha). It’s important that we educate ourselves and uplift Asian voices right now. Your anti-racism has to include every minority that faces it.

https://anti-asianviolenceresources.carrd.co/

for UK peeps, this is a good read: We may not hear about the anti Asian racism happening here, but it is definitely happening. https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/culture/culture-news/a35692226/its-time-we-stopped-downplaying-the-uks-anti-asian-racism/

 THE BOOKS:

·         War Cross- Marie Lu ( the worldbuilding in this is IMMENSE.)

For the millions who log in every day, Warcross isn’t just a game—it’s a way of life. The obsession started ten years ago and its fan base now spans the globe, some eager to escape from reality and others hoping to make a profit. 

·         Star Daughter- Shveta Thakrar

A beautiful story about a girl who is half human and half star, and she must go to the celestial court to try to save her father after he has fallen ill. And before she knows it, she is taking part in a magical competition that she must win!

·         These Violent Delights- Chloe Gong (I told my little sister to read this book yesterday bc she has a thing for a Leo as Romeo- so if you want deadly good looking Romeos, badass Juliet’s and to learn about 1920s Shanghai- this is for you.)

The year is 1926, and Shanghai hums to the tune of debauchery. A blood feud between two gangs runs the streets red, leaving the city helpless in the grip of chaos. A Romeo and Juliet retelling.

·         The Poppy War- R.F Kuang (My fave fantasy series just fyi- it’s soul crushing in the best way. Rebecca Kuang is a god of an author).

A brilliantly imaginative talent makes her exciting debut with this epic historical military fantasy, inspired by the bloody history of China’s twentieth century and filled with treachery and magic, in the tradition of Ken Liu’s Grace of Kings and N.K. Jemisin’s Inheritance Trilogy.

·         Loveboat Taipei-  Abigail Hing Wen  (Really heartwarming and insightful!)

When eighteen-year-old Ever Wong’s parents send her from Ohio to Taiwan to study Mandarin for the summer, she finds herself thrust among the very over-achieving kids her parents have always wanted her to be, including Rick Woo, the Yale-bound prodigy profiled in the Chinese newspapers since they were nine—and her parents’ yardstick for her never-measuring-up life.

·         Sorcerer to the Crown- Zen Cho (if anyone is looking for another Howl’s Moving Castle, look no further than this book)

At his wit’s end, Zacharias Wythe, freed slave, eminently proficient magician, and Sorcerer Royal of the Unnatural Philosophers—one of the most respected organizations throughout all of Britain—ventures to the border of Fairyland to discover why England’s magical stocks are drying up.

·         Emergency Contact- Mary H.K. Choi (very wholesome and fun rom-com!)

For Penny Lee high school was a total nonevent. When she heads to college in Austin, Texas, to learn how to become a writer, it’s seventy-nine miles and a zillion light years away from everything she can’t wait to leave behind.

 ·         Jade City- Fonda Lee (I am reading this currently and can I just say- I think everyone who loves fantasy and blood feuds in a story should read this.)

JADE CITY is a gripping Godfather-esque saga of intergenerational blood feuds, vicious politics, magic, and kungfu. The Kaul family is one of two crime syndicates that control the island of Kekon. It's the only place in the world that produces rare magical jade, which grants those with the right training and heritage superhuman abilities.

 ·         A Pho Love Story- Loan Le

When Dimple Met Rishi meets Ugly Delicious in this funny, smart romantic comedy, in which two Vietnamese-American teens fall in love and must navigate their newfound relationship amid their families’ age-old feud about their competing, neighbouring restaurants.

·         Rebelwing- Andrea Tang

Business is booming for Prudence Wu. A black-market-media smuggler and scholarship student at the prestigious New Columbia Preparatory Academy, Pru is lucky to live in the Barricade Coalition where she is free to study, read, watch, and listen to whatever she wants.

·         Wings of the Locust- Joel Donato Ching Jacob

Tuan escapes his mundane and mediocre existence when he is apprenticed to Muhen, a charming barangay wiseman. But, as he delves deeper into the craft of a mambabarang and its applications in espionage, sabotage and assassination, the young apprentice is overcome by conflicting emotions that cause him to question his new life.

 ·         The Travelling Cat Chronicles- Hiro Arikawa

Sometimes you have to leave behind everything you know to find the place you truly belong...

Nana the cat is on a road trip. He is not sure where he's going or why, but it means that he gets to sit in the front seat of a silver van with his beloved owner, Satoru. 

 ·         Super Fake Love Song- David Yoon

From the bestselling author of Frankly in Love comes a contemporary YA rom-com where a case of mistaken identity kicks off a string of (fake) events that just may lead to (real) love.

  ·         Parachutes- Kelly Yang

Speak enters the world of Gossip Girl in this modern immigrant story from New York Times bestselling author Kelly Yang about two girls navigating wealth, power, friendship, and trauma.

·         The Grace of Kings- Ken Liu ( One of the Time 100 Best Fantasy Books Of All Time!)

Two men rebel together against tyranny—and then become rivals—in this first sweeping book of an epic fantasy series from Ken Liu, recipient of Hugo, Nebula, and World Fantasy awards.

·         Wicked Fox- Kat Cho

A fresh and addictive fantasy-romance set in modern-day Seoul.

 ·         Descendant of the Crane- Joan He

In this shimmering Chinese-inspired fantasy, debut author Joan He introduces a determined and vulnerable young heroine struggling to do right in a world brimming with deception.

 ·         Pachinko- Min Jin Lee

Richly told and profoundly moving, Pachinko is a story of love, sacrifice, ambition, and loyalty. From bustling street markets to the halls of Japan's finest universities to the pachinko parlors of the criminal underworld, Lee's complex and passionate characters--strong, stubborn women, devoted sisters and sons, fathers shaken by moral crisis--survive and thrive against the indifferent arc of history.

·         America is in the Heart- Carlos Bulosan

First published in 1946, this autobiography of the well known Filipino poet describes his boyhood in the Philippines, his voyage to America, and his years of hardship and despair as an itinerant laborer following the harvest trail in the rural West.

 ·         Days of Distraction- Alexandra Chang

A wry, tender portrait of a young woman — finally free to decide her own path, but unsure if she knows herself well enough to choose wisely—from a captivating new literary voice.

·         The Astonishing Colour of After Emily X.R Pan

Alternating between real and magic, past and present, friendship and romance, hope and despair, The Astonishing Color of After is a novel about finding oneself through family history, art, grief, and love. 

·         The Gilded Wolves- Roshani Chokshi

It's 1889. The city is on the cusp of industry and power, and the Exposition Universelle has breathed new life into the streets and dredged up ancient secrets. Here, no one keeps tabs on dark truths better than treasure-hunter and wealthy hotelier Séverin Montagnet-Alarie. When the elite, ever-powerful Order of Babel coerces him to help them on a mission, Séverin is offered a treasure that he never imagined: his true inheritance.

·         When Dimple met Rishi- Sandhya Menon

Dimple and Rishi may think they have each other figured out. But when opposites clash, love works hard to prove itself in the most unexpected ways.

·         On Earth we’re briefly Gorgeous- Ocean Vuong

Poet Ocean Vuong's debut novel is a shattering portrait of a family, a first love, and the redemptive power of storytelling.

·         Fierce Fairytales- Nikita Gill

Complete with beautifully hand-drawn illustrations by Gill herself, Fierce Fairytales is an empowering collection of poems and stories for a new generation.

 BOOKS BEING RELEASED LATER THIS YEAR TO PREORDER:

·         Counting down with you- Tashie Bhuiyan- 4th May

A reserved Bangladeshi teenager has twenty-eight days to make the biggest decision of her life after agreeing to fake date her school’s resident bad boy.

How do you make one month last a lifetime?

·         Gearbreakers- Zoe Hana Mikuta- June 29th

Two girls on opposite sides of a war discover they're fighting for a common purpose--and falling for each other--in Zoe Hana Mikuta's high-octane debut Gearbreakers, perfect for fans of Pacific Rim, Pierce Brown's Red Rising Saga, and Marie Lu's Legend series

·         XOXO- Axie Oh- 13th July

When a relationship means throwing Jenny’s life off the path she’s spent years mapping out, she’ll have to decide once and for all just how much she’s willing to risk for love.

·         She who became the sun- Shelley Parker-Chan- 20th July

Mulan meets The Song of Achilles in Shelley Parker-Chan's She Who Became the Sun, a bold, queer, and lyrical reimagining of the rise of the founding emperor of the Ming Dynasty from an amazing new voice in literary fantasy.

·         Jade Fire Gold- June C.L Tan- October 12th

Two girls on opposite sides of a war discover they're fighting for a common purpose--and falling for each other--in Zoe Hana Mikuta's high-octane debut Gearbreakers, perfect for fans of Pacific Rim, Pierce Brown's Red Rising Saga, and Marie Lu's Legend series

  Keep sharing, signing petitions and donating where you can. The more people who are actively anti-racist, the better. And if your anti-racism doesn’t include the Asian community then go and educate yourself! BLM wasn’t a trend and neither is this. We have to stand up against white supremacy, and racism and stereotypes and we have to support the communities that need our support. Part of that can include cultivating your reading so you’re reading more diversely and challenging any stereotypes western society may have given you.

 Feel free to reblog and add any more recommendations and resources of course!

[unstoppableforcce]

what kind of day has it been

—PROLOGUE: in the shadow of two gunmen

pairing: Poe Dameron x f! CMO! reader

masterlist | how wonderful | next part

a/n: this is just 1.5k, just a little prologue bc an 8k first part seemed like a lot. this is my west wing piece taking place within the how wonderful universe, i know it's been a while since i've written anything how wonderful or really for Poe at all but i'm so excited for this !!

you can read the rest of the how wonderful universe on my masterlist but it's not necessary for this fic beyond understanding the reader is the chief medical officer and that things tend to get a bit brutal for these two

There is no warning.

No red flashing light blinking on the dash. No proximity alert blaring in his ears. No echoing alarm shuddering through his chest. Nothing.

When things go wrong on the ground, they just do. There is no warning.

One minute, the roar of the crowd is all he can hear. The next minute, he can feel the screams surrounding him, vibrating in his chest as the sharp slice of the first blaster shot rings in his ears. One minute, he’s watching you up ahead, your smile stretching your lips as Leia holds you close to her side, basking in the vibrant afterglow of a recruitment speech gone well. The next minute, his eyes are peeled, scanning every face cowering in cover, every set of shoulders running away from the chaos, unable to find your figure anywhere amongst the panic.

Scorching shots of red blaster fire rained down around the plaza and screams quickly became all he could hear as bodies hit the ground. Body after body after body…

The General’s security had the shooters down in seconds, practiced precision making them some of the quickest shots in the whole of the resistance, but it wasn’t fast enough. None of it was fast enough.

“We need help over here.”

One minute, there’s a warmth blossoming in his chest as the welcoming cheers seem never ending. The General had always been a commanding speaker, but this speech was like no other, the crowd was buzzing with a passionate heat and the energy was unlike anything he had felt before as they moved through the thick of it, back to the ships. The next minute, all he could feel was cold. A taunting shiver ran down his spine as he spun around the empty plaza that remained, too many bodies lying dead on the ground where there used to be overflowing life. A frigid breeze swept across the plaza, hitting his vulnerable form as he pulled himself from cover.

One minute. Then the next.

The frantic voice repeated, “We need some help over here.” It took far too long to recognize the voice. With fear lacing every word and shaking the timbre of the tone, even the voice he knew the best was foreign.

One minute.

Leia had grabbed you by the arm as an excuse to help her stand and kept you close as the two of you moved through the crowd together. As appreciation and celebration poured in, she wanted you to be standing in the middle of it, she wanted you to get your fair share. Her careful touch lifted your chin as you tried to hide your bashful smile in her shoulder, you were the reason the Resistance had made it this far and she wanted the galaxy to see what she saw.

The next minute.

Her voice called again, a desperate plea for help that seemed impossible falling from her lips. The General didn’t beg, she didn’t plead. She was a fighter and there wasn’t a single thing in the galaxy she feared.

But again she called, sickening fear dripping from her tongue. “Help! We need help over here!”

One minute. He could see you through the crowd, just a bit ahead of where he walked with his rambunctious bunch of pilots. The next minute. He could see your feet, just the bottoms of your boots, the frantic crowd hovering over where you laid too dense to see through.

He fought for every step, his legs losing any strength the sudden adrenaline burst had provided him. Someone tried to grab his shoulders, maybe to steady him, maybe to hold him back, it didn’t make much of a difference, he blew past them without second thought. He only had one thought.

“Babe, what— what— are you—”

“Dameron—”

“Get your hands off— baby, talk to me—“

“Commander Dameron—”

Through the bend in one arm and over the shoulder of another, he saw blood. Snap tried to grab him this time, but there was no stopping him. Another step forward and he could see it all, the brutal wound left in your shoulder, the violent burn across your thigh, the blood on your face, the useless hands all over you making no difference at all. It was bad. Not just because it was you, it was just bad. Your brutalized body was torn to shreds where the shots hit you and every other inch of you was drenched in blood.

“Medic!” one of them called back over their shoulder with his hands pressed into your shoulder, everyone else knew better than to waste their breath.

You were the only medic they brought. You were the only doctor they ever needed.

“Dameron, you can’t—“

Either the strength was back in his legs or he just couldn’t feel the surging exhaustion anymore, he blew past any attempts to hold him back and fought his way to your side, reaching a careful, trembling hand to your cheek as your eyes fluttered in and out of painful consciousness. The words escaping his mouth didn’t even feel like his, he didn’t know where he found the breath, it was just all he could do. “We have to move her.”

“Poe—”

“Back to the ships, we have to get her back to base.”

No one wanted to answer. No one wanted to watch.

“There’s a— a base, a New Republic base on Bothawui.” He watched your mouth open but no sound came out, a scream too muted to even make it to your throat. “That’s not far, we can make it.”

No one wanted to tell him otherwise, despite what each of them seemed to know, what Poe refused to accept.

“You heard the Commander,” Leia’s voice was even weaker now as an obvious set of tears began dropping down her cheeks. “She’s a fighter. We have to move her.”

No one could argue with her.

One minute. He was watching you smile. The next. He was watching Snap carry your lifeless form in his arms as the group of distraught soldiers and pilots alike rushed back to the parked ships up ahead. The next. He was cradling your head as the soldiers did what they could to patch you up for the trip. The next. He was wiping the blood off your cheek as your sunken eyes watched him, your blood-spattered lips forming weakly around words that you lacked the strength to voice.

“I’m right here, Baby, I’m right here.”

“P-P-P-Poe...”

“It’s okay, don’t try to talk.”

“The Gen… you… she… we have to…”

The first of his tears began to drip from his nose and chin, hitting gentle against your forehead as your chest choked around your words. There was so much blood, so much pain. “Shhh, it’s okay, Baby. It’s okay, I promise.”

“We have to…”

His brow furrowed as his thumb settled on the dip between your chin and bottom lip. “Baby, I’ve got you, it’s okay.”

“No…”

“It’s okay. Don’t try to talk.” His head shook, and seconds later, he felt the ship do the same. For being such a quick flight, it was the longest of his life. “We’re close, it’s gonna be okay, don’t worry.”

Anyone sitting around the two of you would argue otherwise. Anyone who could see you would say there was no med bay in the galaxy, much less a desolate New Republic base, that could put you back together in one piece, not even your own. But no one was capable of voicing that outlook, not as they watched Leia break down in tears in the seat beside them, knowing the blaster shots were meant for her, not as they watched Poe clutch onto your body, barely breathing.

One minute. He had you. The next minute…

Your lips formed around one last word as the ship came in for a landing. “Love…”

It was the last word you got out. The last word he heard from you before your eyes fell shut and Snap rushed back to grab you and get you past the pouring rain inside the somewhat derelict base.

Poe walked two steps to follow before his knees gave out, the downpour drowning him as he collapsed.

“Poe…” the hand in his curls should have been comforting, the voice too, but something else bubbled in his stomach, a sickness he had no chance of escaping. “Poe, come on, let’s get you out of this weather.”

His head dropped out of Leia’s grip as his sobbing grew uncontrollable.

“Poe…”

There was no comfort she could offer, no wisdom, no advice. There was an empty feeling, a space left vacant with you not beside the two of them, a hollow pain that not even the torrential downpour could wash away as Poe wailed, a heartbreaking scream shuddered out from his lips. There was nothing she could do but hold him and hope.

Hope.

He remembered Leia’s words. Hope is like the sun. She was half right.

You were his hope. You were his sun. And now there was rain. Dark, dreary, pouring rain.

The rain reminded him of home. It reminded him of you.

You hated the rain.

He met you in the rain. He met you in the rain...

SEVEN YEARS EARLIER...

[passable-talent]

May I please request a zuko fix where the reader is a huge flower buff (like knows the meanings and names) and is more graceful and peaceful rather than a fighter despite being a fire bender and zuko thinks she doesn't care or take the war seriously and when zuko joins the gang he doesn't see how much she contributes until he sees her taking care of everyone one night and questions the others and learns she in fact is a fierce fighter and he takes her up on a challenge to see for himself

playful fight? where there’s a lil pride involved? but there’s also a lot of pining? hmmmmm

also I love/hate writing fight scenes bc they’re SO FUN but also I’m such a perfectionist (and actually a martial artist so like... I see flaws u know?) that I actually have to get up and act them out and that’s time consuming but also a good workout so whatever ? I guess

you would not believe the amount of flower research in both the avatar and real world I did before going into this ask

this is too much to preface a story with gd I’m annoying but I hope u don’t mind that I was gender nonspecific. It’s a thing with me since there’s like never any male readers on tumblr. so even though you kinda asked for female reader I made it gender nonspecific because that’s what I do I hope it’s ok

anyway here we go!!

Zuko simply did not understand.

The house where his family vacationed was big and beautiful, and a good place to hide until Sozin’s comet. What he never had noticed, until now, were the flowers growing all around the courtyard and the path to the beach. Over the years of disregard, the more exotic flowers had died and been replaced by native life, taking over much more than the flowerbeds he barely remembered the staff taking care of. There were fire lilies, those he recognized, but there were many other flowers that he had never bothered to learn the name of.

Y/N knew all of their names.

He didn’t understand you. He couldn’t figure you out. You were of the fire nation, and a bender, but he had never seen you fight. All you did, as far as he could tell, was pull the others away from danger, settle fights, and tend to flowers that seemed perfectly capable of survival all on their own. It’s not that it bothered him, but it did, because you seemed so absolutely noncommital. Nonchalant. Indifferent. How had another citizen of the fire nation come to the realization that the fire nation was evil, and gathered up the courage to join the avatar, and yet didn’t seem to care about the war at all?

When he’d first met you, he thought you didn’t have much use to the team at all. He thought you just another kid caught up in the war, like the others that were at the western air temple after the day of black sun. But after the brief battle with Azula, he came to see your worth.

“If only we had some Aloe,” you’d murmured as you passed him, on your way to Sokka’s side after he had complained of a sunburn, riding all day on Appa’s back.

“Can we get some?” Katara asked, leaning against the side of Appa’s saddle.

“No,” you replied, “too far away. It only grows near the Si Wong desert, and we definitely can’t go there right now.”

“So what can we do?” asked Katara again, and you shrugged, settling down beside Sokka, on his right while Toph clutched onto his left arm.

“The medical treatment for burns in the fire nation are less advanced then you’d expect. But there’s a few plants that can be soothing- even if not as much as Aloe. If there’s any banana leaf nearby our destination, that may help.” Zuko, though he’d remained silent, cocked an eyebrow in surprise. Medicinal knowledge of plants- that seemed extremely useful, especially given the group’s nomadic behavior. He briefly wished that you had been around while his uncle had had his quarrel with the white jade bush.

More so, though, in the following days he began to see your similarities to Katara- you were kind, and caring, and you made sure that the group was taken care of. You sat through worries and soothed fears the best you could, and that was admirable. You almost reminded him of his mother.

One question was left on his mind. If you were a fire bender- why did Aang need him to teach him firebending?

After you had gone to bed one night, he sat around a fire with Aang, Sokka, and Toph to pose that very question.

“Is it because they’re not a very strong bender? I’ve never even seen them use firebending, they must not be that good.”

“Oh, no,” Sokka said, “they’re actually really good. Probably better than you.” He laughed a bit after his words, earning a punch in the rib cage from Toph, which made Zuko think that Sokka was only trying to tease.

“Really?” He asked, looking to Aang, whose information he’d trust.

“Yeah,” Aang said, “they’re good. But they didn’t want to teach me- said that they didn’t have enough formal training. I think they just didn’t want to be that violent. They’re a pacifist, like me.”

“I could see that,” Zuko said, gazing into the fire. In his fingers he twirled an orange cyclamen, which you had given him before you’d gone to bed. When he’d asked why, you had responded that ‘it was a flower without meaning*, and the color reminded you of him’. He didn’t know what to do with it now, though, before he went to bed. He didn’t want to toss it in the fire, as that felt too heartless, but he knew it was dying now that it was picked. So, when he stood to return to his room for the night, he crouched by one of the overgrown flowerbeds and propped it up in the soil.

Maybe, from its turmoil, it would grow roots and live. Or maybe it would die surrounded by the beauty of the other flowers.

After spending all night wondering the true extent of your prowess, when morning came Zuko decided to find out.

“Spar me,” he said, catching you alone in the courtyard. “I need to be reminded what it’s like to fight a fire bender, and I’ve been told you’re quite good.” You let a little quirk of a smile onto your lips and turned to face him, tilting your head.

“You sure? What if it hurts your pride?” He shook his head, expression stoic as ever.

“It won’t. Either I’ll beat you or I’ll learn.” You took off an outer layer you’d been wearing and, carrying it, made your way toward the beach.

“Good way to think about it,” you said, laying down your jacket on a stone just outside the entryway. But as you straightened back up you planted your forward foot and flashed your other foot up and across, sending an arc of flame toward the prince. He quickly noticed that the game had begun and diverted the flame to his left, sliding his foot into a strong stance before punching flames toward you. By this time you had completed your spin and dove out of the path of his fire, rolling onto your feet and into a tight stance, your hands at your chest. You took them to your left, then swung them to your right to add momentum to your spin, lifting your feet from the ground for a round kick that sent another arc of flame toward him. He dove forward to get out of the way, getting closer to you, and sweeping one of your feet out from under you. You landed on your back, your fall cushioned as much as it could have been, and he pinned you down by hovering over you.

“You’re impressive,“ he said, and you gave him a look somewhere between pleading and fondness. His moment’s hesitation allowed you to swing your foot and use both its momentum and a shove from your elbows to flip him onto his back, your two foremost fingers creating a fire dagger at his throat, not close enough to threaten. This was only sparring, after all.

“Have you forgotten the rules of a match? It’s not over until the opponent yields.” He smiled, slightly, as he looked up at you.

“I yield.” You chuckled and stood up, giving him a hand to right him on his feet as well.

“You have more honor than I,” you told him, knowing that you only won thanks to trickery. A slight laugh rumbled from his chest and he tossed your jacket toward you again.

“How I’d love for my father to hear you say that.”

*a cyclamen a flower that, when given, expresses sincere feelings of admiration and romance. y/n was cheeky

-🦌 Roe

[missturtleduck]

hi i saw ur requests were open and i would love if u could do a sokka x reader :) where reader is really shy and he likes to tease her and flirt with her to see her all flustered but she denies him actually liking her bc she thinks it’s just his personality to be funny like that. but then there’s the classic oh no there’s only one bed thing? thank you!

Ooooh I loved writing this! Tropes? Love them. Fluff? So fun, so sweet. I hope you enjoy, anon, and have a very happy holiday! <3

Teasing

Sokka x shy!Reader

It was a well-known fact that Sokka was a tease.

Now, he wasn’t a tease in the common sense, more that he took some joy in being a so-called comedian. Y/N seemed to be the person in their gang that got the brunt of his teasing. Every time he came up with some sarcastic quip, she would laugh along with everyone else – though most of the time she was the only one who found him funny – but then there were the other times.

She had been sparring with Zuko, who was surprisingly adept with swords for a bender, when Sokka had come by whistling with faux innocence. As he took a seat on the floor, his eyes were trained on the fight. Feeling his blue-eyed gaze boring into her, she felt her entire body flush. Steadying her breathing, Y/N pushed down the flustered flutter bats inhabiting her stomach. A frustrated cry escaped her lips as she pinned Zuko’s blades to the floor with her own.

“Sokka,” She breathed out, hating how hot she felt. “Sokka, w-what are you doing?”

He grinned. “Just enjoying the view. You know, I always thought red was Zuko’s colour, but you are boasting a lovely shade today.”

Absently, Y/N put a palm to her face, only becoming more flustered as she realised her skin had in fact became darker. As the blood rushed faster through her body, she looked desperately at Zuko for some reprieve.

“Sokka, are you here for any reason other than being a complete clown?” Zuko said, sighing in pure exasperation even as Y/N had him pinned.

The boy ignored him completely. “Has anyone ever told just how adorable you are? Because you really are.”

“Sokka,” Zuko said again, his voice less patient. “Go away before we make you.”

“Alright, alright,” He tutted, hands in the air as if in surrender. “I’ll leave you two to your dance lessons. Call me if you fall; I’ll come and catch you.”

Waiting for him to be out of earshot, Y/N groaned, dropping her sword and freeing Zuko. Her entire face was on fire. Sure, it was a metaphor, a hyperbolic one at that, but if Zuko decided to shove his ignited palm in her face, it would not manage to be as hot as she was feeling now. It might be slightly less sweaty. Ew.

Lowering herself to the ground, she sat, stretching out her aching limbs, pouring water over her roasting head. Y/N, needless to say, was mortified by Sokka’s teasing, but when was she not? She was somewhat shyer than her female friends; Katara had this maternal instinct about her that kicked into overdrive as soon as someone seemed needy. It was honestly scarier than the Avatar State. Toph was just... Toph. The girl was at least four years younger than Y/N and utterly terrifying, approaching people and situations with no fear. Then there was Suki. Suki had a knack of getting people to like her, being the loveable, charismatic leader, she was.

And that left Y/N.

Y/N struggled being heard in many a conversation. Ask her to take a compliment? No. No. Not happening. No thank you. Her shy demeanour was labelled cute by a few different people, though they all seemed to be joking – especially Sokka.

“Do you want me to sort him out for you?”

Y/N looked up, meeting Zuko’s very serious gaze for just a moment before staring at the ground. “No, it’s okay. He’s like that with everyone.”

“What?” Zuko frowned, slumping to the ground too. “What are you on about? He doesn’t flirt with everyone!”

“That wasn’t flirting!” She insisted, feeling that bashful flush creeping in again. 

“He was just teasing, like he does with everyone!”

Zuko’s lips quirked. “He called you adorable.”

“Yesterday, he called Momo adorable.”

“He said you flushed was your colour.”

“And he said that red was yours, sunshine.”

“Oh, Y/N, I’ll catch you if you fall!”

Y/N stammered. “He could have been talking to either of us!”

There was some silence between them. Y/N didn’t usually mind sitting in silence with Zuko, who was just as awkward as her most of the time. However, the wide, toothy grin like a catgator’s was highly disconcerting.

“Zuko, I don’t know what you’re seeing, but he wasn’t flirting,” Y/N said finally, quietly commanding. “He’s just messing around like he usually does.”

The prince sighed, suppressing his mischievous grin. Raising his swords, the pair charged each other again.

                                                      ✦

In the midst of a war, there wasn’t much space for fun. With the constant movement between the Western Air Temple and many significant locations to build their defences after the Day of Black Sun, Y/N found she hardly had time for anything other than training and strategizing. Sure, she may be considered meek when compared to her peers, but her mind was sharper than her blade.

After watching Aang master firebending, Sokka masterminding a prison break, and Katara nearly murdering a man – all with Zuko’s help – she had some whiplash. She might even say that she had been somewhat blindsided by them, but she didn’t particularly mind. It was when they moved onto Ember Island, however, that Y/N found there to be an issue. In all the excitement, or terror, of being separated from Haru and the others, and possibly murdering Sparky Sparky Boom Man, the gang ended up hiding out on Ember Island.

Spirits, did Y/N love the sunshine. The sand? Not so much, nor the swimsuits. Nevertheless, she much preferred it to Aang’s beloved ancestral temple.

“Okay,” Zuko said as they all collected together in the house, “So there’s a bit of an issue.”

“Fire Nation?” Katara asked, eyes narrowing.

“Worse,” Zuko said, voice grave. “There are seven of us, and only six beds.”

The teenagers all looked between each other with varying looks of embarrassment and disgust. It was Toph who spoke first.

“Well, I for one do not want to share a room,” She scoffed, stomping her foot – a reminder of her power. “I can already hear all of you when we sleep on the ground. I am not missing out on my chance for a quiet night of sleep.”

“That seems fair,” Zuko hummed as he pulled a hat off of a dresser. “Everyone else, unless they have some reason why not, will put their name in here.”

Sokka whined, pointing his finger at the heir of the Fire Nation. “Fine! But they should get the biggest bedroom.”

Y/N swore Zuko smirked. “Done.”

Sat on the floor watching him write names, the group waited anxiously to see who would be sharing a room at least for that night. Mixing up bits of paper, he seemed to be building up some bravado, akin to a showman about to pull a jackalope out of a hat.

“Sokka.”

The boy cursed under his breath as Zuko continued on with his little show, the piece of paper disintegrating as easily as a leaf floating in a breeze.

“And Y/N!”

She met Zuko’s eye, entire body hot, sending a psychic message along the lines of sprits, no, Zuko, no, please, Zuko, don’t do this.

Despite the fact that Y/N knew Sokka was only joking with his teasing, somewhere along the line she had ended up falling for it – for him. It was sudden and violent, the way a meteor crashed through the atmosphere, roaring, brilliant, and completely obliterating anything in its path. Currently, Y/N was that metaphorical meteorite, burning up and crashing into the earth.

Since Zuko apparently couldn’t read minds, she chanced a glance at Sokka. She expected some sort of joke, a quip, anything. Instead, he was deadly silent, stony in his face, staring too at Zuko. Was he blushing, or was she making it up in her head? This question soon slipped from her brain as she those baby blue eyes were staring straight at her.

Tui and La, Agni, spirits above; he hated her.

“Cool!” She said, though it came out more like a squeak. “I’ll see you tonight, I guess.”

“Y/N, we have the entire day before- “

She cut Suki off. “Yep, busy today! Busy, busy, busy. Plenty of strategic planning to do before the big day!”

And she was gone. Even Aang, renowned creator of the air scooter, had never seen a person move so fast, and Y/N wasn’t even a bender. In her haste, she didn’t catch the sly looks, nor the disapproving one courtesy of Katara. She definitely didn’t catch the shy grin on Sokka’s face, muddled with complete embarrassment. Getting as far away from the house as possible was her current goal, and she achieved it with insane speed – and longevity.

For an entire day, Y/N managed to see none of her friends, excluding Appa and Momo. Her animal friends seemed very concerned and very interested in her noughts and crosses diagrams in the black volcanic sand of Ember Island. It was only when Yue began to rise above the horizon that she thought it would be safe to come out. With what felt like a walk of shame, she trekked back to the beach house, a sleeping Momo cradled in her arms like a baby. Even Appa, who had been occupied with all sorts of made-up games throughout the day, was beginning to sway, eyes drooping, weighed down by sleep. Settling them down in the warm sand, Y/N climbed the wooden stairs.

Being quiet used to get her everywhere unseen; it didn’t work that night. Wordless, her friends’ good night wishes falling on deaf ears, she entered the biggest bedroom, alone. Falling face first onto the bed, she muffled a frustrated scream into one of the too many decadent pillows adorning it. Heaving herself onto her back, Y/N groaned dramatically with the effort it took. This bed was so soft. She tried to think of a more comfy, luxurious bed she had ever been on – and failed. The four-poster frame was casting odd shadows across the dark room. It felt especially lonely.

She felt especially lonely.

Sitting up, a low rumble filled the silence. Her stomach was apparently rather unhappy with the distinct lack of food during the day. Y/N had forgotten about that. She weighed up the options; go out and face embarrassment, or skip dinner for the first time in her life. Fortunately, she needn’t think long.

“So, everyone’s going to bed, and I remembered you hadn’t eaten.”

Sokka.

Of course.

“Oh,” Was all she could manage, mentally kicking herself for her utter lack of articulation. “Th-thanks, Sokka.”

Flicking on the light, the shadows no longer seemed odd, nor did the room feel lonely. There, in the doorway, stood Sokka. He was pretty – something that always took Y/N by surprise even though she saw him every day. Sure, he hadn’t grown into his gangly limbs yet, but he was getting there. His shoulders had gotten broader, his arms larger from training. She couldn’t help but imagine how comfy he’d be to lie against, how warm his hold would be.

“I brought snacks?”

Opening her mouth only to close it again, Y/N felt like a fish thrown mercilessly out of water. Instead, she managed a timid pat on the bed. He was slow to react, slower to move, and she only felt more inadequate. Whatever Zuko thought he saw at the temple was wrong.

“Wow, this bed is soft,” Sokka gasped, bouncing lightly on it like a small child. “It’s like sitting on a cloud!”

Y/N couldn’t stop the giggle that passed her lips as she took a slice of fruit from the platter he had brought in. For the briefest moment, infinitesimally small, Sokka ceased with his childish antics and just looked. Brightening, he seemed to thrive – delight – in her laughter, continuing to goof about with the numerous pillows and posh looking decor.

“Whoa.”

Y/N looked up at him from her laughing, stomach aching with joy. “What?”

“I didn’t know you could get prettier,” He said, brows furrowed, eyes sparkling.

She turned mute in an instant, feeling that all too familiar flush again, only this time it was close – more intense. Silent, she took another piece of fruit, eating it in moments, anything to give her time. “You’re teasing me again, aren’t you?”

He frowned. “What? No. I’m not- “

“It’s okay if you are!” Y/N insisted, her smile plastered on and her heart aching. “I know you joke about with us all, and it’s just how you are. It’s not a bad thing, and I know you’re just joking and- “

“Y/N,” Sokka said, almost incredulous. “I’m not joking. I have never joked about that kind of thing with you.”

She stopped dead. “What?”

It wasn’t a question – well, not to Sokka at least. That one word was her address to the universe. It was astonishment, frustration, incredulity, sheer joy, so many emotions all wrapped into one simple word. The moments that passed between that word and their locked gaze spoke a thousand more words, sang a hundred more emotions.  

“You didn’t know?”

Her head was empty. “Prettier?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Sokka chuckled weakly, moving the platter to the side.

“Prettier,” Y/N repeated slowly, looking up at him, “As in I was already pretty?”

“Erm, yes?”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“Tui and La, yes.”

Oh.

“Okay,” She said, testing the waters, “And you like it when I blush?”

“Yeah, you look cute,” He admitted, sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Looking down, bashful, she recalled training with Zuko. “The word you used was adorable.”

No words came in response to that, only a gentle hand on her cheek. Guiding her face up, Sokka looked at her and saw her. Y/N could see him reaching for words that danced in his mind and away from his grasp, so many more pretty, teasing words he could say. But he wasn’t teasing, not really. He certainly wasn’t when he pressed his lips to hers. It was sweet and easy to melt into; she didn’t need to be shy, not with him.

They shared more sweet kisses, laughing under the moonlight in that fancy bed they got to share. Fruit, a bed, kisses; they shared them all, drifting into an easy sleep as the moon began to slip away into daylight. Basking in the prospect of a lazy morning, they made the most of it.

They weren’t even mad when they found out Zuko rigged the entire thing.

[sketching-shark]

Do you like the sun and moon allegory that the show push for swk n LEMH n to a lesser extent how the fandom r pushing it futher by including mk as the star??

I dont rlly get why that of all symbolisms gets to b hammer in the most. My feelings for it is v much went from neutral to dislike bc it box in swk into this sorta narrative that ‘oh things were easy for him n hes so bright!” And oh poor macaque he got stuck in the shadows of swk bc he the moon! Like huh?? Definitely didn’t spurred me bc of how some ppl were quick to equate “sun” as what it mean in sun wukong name.

I just rlly don’t like this inclusion to the whole LEMH v SWK. I got more to say but this just it for rn soo thoughts?

Monkie Kid spoilers below

asdfrgerwredsff well as the local "guy who gets stupid angry at how completely western canon and fanon refuses to engage with the og classic true & false monkey king arc" I can't say I'm a fan anon. And yeah the automatic equation of the "Sun" in Sun Wukong to the English word "sun" was a bit goofy if understandable at first (we all work under particular assumptions based on the cultures and languages we were raised in after all), but now in a lot of ways it seems to stand as one more example of how many people in a dominant culture won't take the time to even do a quick google search to see what a word's meaning in its original context was.

But aside from that I personally don't feel like this sun and moon allegory & the underlying insistence on a close relationship is doing either Sun Wukong, the Six-Eared Macaque, or even Qi Xiaotian any favors...I've given my thoughts about this in other posts, but a quick summary is that even though Monkie Kid appears to have veered away sharply from the interpretation of the Six-Eared Macaque as a living manifestation of SWK's worst aspects and made him more of an independent character, his ongoing violent obsession with the Monkey King still means he has basically 0% traits or things in his life that aren't defined by SWK in some form or another. Everything from his apparent goals to his artistic expression is focused on the Monkey King, and given how thoroughly he hates him in the show's present well that is not a good situation for anyone to be in. In regards to SWK himself, the decision to give his and LEMH's relationship more importance through pushing the sun and moon allegory also has been a pretty big part in the presentation of the Monkey King as a worse and worse of a person. Because in Monkie Kid LEMH was originally introduced as an antagonist, but the route that's been chosen partially to make him more sympathetic was to repeatedly frame SWK as a betraying power-hungry bastard, just like LEMH claimed in his shadow puppet play. So now it's like we started with an image of SWK as genuinely heroic, but as he keeps making disastrous calls in the present and and information about his past comes out it's like him as a sun wasn't so much about providing life-giving warmth as it was about blinding and burning everyone around him, with the show itself being like "psych! turns out SWK lies all the time. psych! his plan to stop the Lady Bone Demon was indeed hot garbage. psych! actually all he ever does is hurt those who loved and trusted him. psych! it's been hinted that even Qi Xiaotian in his deepest and darkest truths is now convinced that SWK is nothing but an agent of chaos & destruction & he's terrified he'll turn out just like him." And then of course Qi Xiaotian is there having been repeatedly traumatized not just by the main big bads but also by LEMH repeatedly beating him up and also by the disastrous consequences of SWK's carelessness & bad judgment. So. Lmao.

Now of course I need to note that there's still a lot of unanswered questions about what precisely happened in the past from SWK's perspective, whose answers may indeed help clear up this toxic morass that is the current dynamic between SWK, LEMH, and Qi Xiaotian. And chances are good I'm forgetting more positive stuff or making the context appear worse than it actually is. Even so, I think you can point to the "the hero and the warrior were like the sun and the moon" as being one of the main starting points for the "SWK actually sucks and LEMH is the main victim of his terribleness" thesis that seems pretty popular in fandom and increasingly in canon. Again, I might just be carrying too much of a negative nancy pessimism about all of this, and of course it must be acknowledged that the overall situation is more complicated, but at least to me as it currently stands the sun and moon allegory seems to have not accomplished much except flip the "good" and "evil" designations between SWK and LEMH (X_X)

[exciting]

As requested, books / series I read in 2020 in the order I read them, with a few brief thoughts. (This took me a hot second because there are a few and also I moved cities) Should I keep a consistent goodreads? Yes I should but I didn’t think of that at the time, so bone apple teeth & sorry if I offend you abt your faves x

P.S. I can’t figure out how to do a read more on mobile so long post ahead!

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas - This is one of the most vivid published fantasy books I have ever read... I read it twice in rapid succession. The fandom POPS off. I must say I have issues with certain aspects e.g. fae lore completely ignored à la Twilight, all love interests 500+ years old and technically a different species, etc (I’m not going to deconstruct the entire series here but just know that I could... Nesta deserves better)

Cruel Prince by Holly Black - This fucking slaps, HB clearly has done her research, the lore is near immaculate, and it explores the Fae in such a unique way, tying it to the modern world subtly and seamlessly. My only qualm was that the books felt quite short; truly wish there had been more content.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas (6/7) - So basically I read this in one single, hyperfixated fit which meant I literally locked myself in my room for three days straight and read all six books back to back in a row from morning to the wee hours. Which is not to say it was spectacular; although it was a VERY rich world, sometimes it was too much... this felt like 6 stories in one. Ik she was young when she wrote this but it is my humble opinion that SJM needs a better editor & I personally think Rowan is a grade A asshole / straight up abusive (& personally think the ACOTAR Tamlin plot was born from that?). It’s good but not as good as ACOTAR. Skip-read the last book. 

Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone) by Leigh Bardugo (3) - This is essential to read before SOC but was very much simply a YA fantasy book, although the world was cool and the way the love plot played out was, imo, a subtle middle finger to the fantasy trope. Felt very much aimed at younger readers though? Really liked the sandwhich structure of the Proluge and Epilogue, especially in #2

Six of Crows series by Leigh Bardugo (2) - INCREDIBLE continuation of Grishaverse, better than the original series by a mile. It has the range, the diversity, the representation (the male lead is a disabled asexual and still the most cunning of the entire cast of characters), the plot is phenomenal, and it manages such a well rounded plot in only two books which means nothing is stretched out or squeezed in more than need be. Deserves all the praise it gets.

King of Scars series by Leigh Bardugo (0.5/1) - Personally I don’t consider this book canon, and while it’s nice to see the rest of Nina’s journey & the world again & everyone else, I don't like it. I will, however, be reading book 2 when it comes out, so shame on me, I suppose.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (1/1) - this was incredibly cool although it went off in a completely different direction than I thought it would based off the first few chapters? One of my favourite YA-author-debuts-New-Adult novels in 2020 though!

Crescent City by Sarah J Maas (1/1) - This was supposed to be SJM/s New Adult debut, although personally I would put her other series in New Adult, and I can’t say a remarkable amount was different with this except they said “fuck” and “ass” a lot. WHY is the romantic interest 500 years old AGAIN. I just... don’t... I just don’t think it was necessary... the world was cool though, and the last half of the book was riveting, but the beginning was quite slow and I thought the sword thing was predictable. I am interested to see where this goes though.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab (3) - This world is so fucking cool... four Londons aka parallel universes & the one in ‘our’ world is set in industrial era London. Magic, girls dressing up as boys, thieves, pirates, royalty... it all just slaps. Schwab is an incredible writer & I was completely immersed.

Midnight Sun by SMeyer - I didn’t think anything could possibly detract even further from the Twilight story but I was sorely mistaken... seeing the stalking from Edward’s POV - and it was worse than depicted in Twilight, for the record - completely obliterated any sort of romance the first half of the original book may have portrayed. I still hold the opinion that the entire series would have been better if some kind of vampire lore had been abided by, if only to see all of the villains thwarted by someone dropping a bag of rice on the ground, forcing them to have to count them all.

An ember in the Ash by Sabaa Tahir  (3/4) - This was just a very stereotypical ya fantasy series, emphasis on the YOUNG... it wasn’t anything to write home about but I remember quite enjoying it at the time. 

The Power by Naomi Alderman - This book is FUCKING incredible and EXCEPTIONALLY thought provoking... essentially women alone develop a power of electric shock etc. and then take over the world from men, and it explores feminism and the balance between equality & tipping the scales in the other direction. Written by a friend of M.Atwood in a similar tone to handmaids tale, I would say? Content warning; there are some exceptionally graphic scenes in the latter half of the novel. 

Hamlet by Wllm Shksp - I can’t believe it took me this long to finally read it but Ophelia is my favourite name in the entire world & we love to see a woman go batshit (although she didn’t deserve that). 

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas - this was unsettling in the best sense of the word... it was a little slow & honestly more of a concept than a big reveal, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it after I finished it? A Secret History vibes but make it blurry like the memory of all those dystopian novels you read when you were young?

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue by V.E. Schwab - This is without a doubt my book of the year, and probably the best book I read in 2020? I stayed up all night on a friend’s couch reading it, got a book hangover and reread the ending, and then thrust it upon my mother who doesn’t usually read but read this, and loved it just as much. HIGHLY recommend and you HAVE to read it, it’s beautiful and endearing and just plain wonderful.

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat (3/3) - I went into this knowing it was going to be terrible, because I had received a blow by blow telling me as much; although I must say that it did learn a remarkable amount of new words, the books did get better as the series went on, and it did have a rather charming ending? BIG content warning for almost everything.

Sapiens by Yuval Harari - mind-expanding & must recommend for everyone, there is everything in this and I daresay everyone should posses this kind of knowledge? I listened to it as an audiobook (which I recommend because it’s rather hearty) but will be buying this in hardcopy & rereading it with annotations. 

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful novels I have ever read, and certainly the most beautiful portrayal of the story of Achilles and the battle of Troy I have ever seen. Patroclus deserved the justice that was given to him in this book; indeed, all of the characters were written with justice and grace. Highly recommend.

Trials of Apollo by Rick Riordan (3/5) - Apollo is my favourite Greek God, and the sexiest greek god, and Rick Riordan’s writing slaps, as always. It did pain me to see Apollo, the sexy immortal, have to be forced back into a 16 year old’s body but everything else? Whimsical & wonderful, as expected. 

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong - a retelling of Romeo and Juliette, except it’s set in Shanghai in the 1920′s, and the protagonists already have a history. Very well done, characters are incredibly diverse in race, sexual orientation, gender, and ability / disability (and honestly, representation has never appeared so effortless and elegant). Also it includes a monster and possible magic. Incredibly underrated and highly recommend.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix. E Harrow - this was such a unique concept, and truly captivating, the story was charming, and felt like the kind of beautiful fairytale you would read as children but with more grit? ABSOLUTELY recommend this one

The Pisces by Melissa Broder - I hated this so much, not my vibe at all. Mermaid smut x therapy but make it cynical and judgemental (I know there was a moral in there but that’s not my point) also the dog dies.

Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith (1/2) - really interesting & unique concept (all unwritten novels / ideas reside in a special library that is part of Hell and then sometimes the books can come to life) however, my first thought upon reading this was “this reads as if it’s stemmed from one of those writing prompt tumblr posts” bc of the tone and whatever and as it turns out I was somewhat correct, it did stem from a short story (not bad just obvious). It did kind of settle down as it went on but I found reading it kind of a drag, and I don’t think I will read the second one.

Abandon by Meg Cabot - 1. Meg Cabot’s writing always fucking slaps 2. Hades and Persephone but make it modern & very 2000′s & somehow kind of unique 3. I literally loved this, sue me

Medusa Girls (Sweet Venom) by Tera Childs - Like Percy Jackson except they are descendants of Medusa so they are Gorgons and have fangs & venom (hence the title). Gave me very 2000′s vibes? Quite cool but tbh I found the books quite short (like two hours each, if that)? Do NOT read the GoodReads description of the book before you read it, you will spoil it for yourself.

Bring me their Hearts by Sara Wolf - In my opinion, this is one of the most underrated YA series I read in 2020. The heroine is endearing, self aware, witty, and loves to look pretty even while kicking ass which in my opinion is an incredibly underrated trait. Also, immortality without being hundreds of years old? VERY sexy. HIGHLY recommend. 

A Deal with the Elf King by Elise Kova - High commendation to be given for the fact that it is a standalone and yet manages to fit in the plot of what would usually be a full fantasy trilogy without cutting corners or being a million miles long? Also sweet storyline & beautiful ending? If you liked ACOTAR you should read this as a “what would have / could have been had SJM had a different editor” (No shade I promise).

The Iron Fae by Julie Kagawa (4/4 + novellas) - Incredibly detailed faerie set around the modern world & our current use of technology & iron in it. Very neat adventure-style series, by the time I read the last novella I was well and truly done with the world (aka provided enough content to be fulfilling). Was definitely aimed at a younger audience though, NO smut / smut was brushed over.

The Modern Faerie Tales by Holly Black (3/3 SS) - This is technically the prequel to Cruel prince, set in the modern world, but with the fae world inside it as it traditional? All I have to say is that it is excellent & I highly recommend it.

Bridgerton series (The Duke and I) by Julia Quinn (9/9) - I read this after watching the Netflix show twice through and I am obsessed, although the books were not quite as elegant as the show, and some parts that made me cringe either by their portrayal (it is very firmly set in the 19th century and thus some things are not handled with tact or grace), the characters were exceptionally loveable and I am so excited to see where the show takes them! Lovely language & an abundance of words I had never seen before (always a plus). 

[yikesthesebikes]

How vampires work in my BF au:

They sparkle in the sun, can drink human blood, mostly drink animal blood. Most vampires aren't pressed about where blood comes from. (Cept Dino and older vampires like him, who are freaks, eating children and what not) Eats mosquitoes lmao, like a frog lmao! Blep! Tasty treat. Picks tick off of deer.

Chicken blood is nasty tho, not favorable.

Vampire blood makes humans stronger, so if you are lucky enough they might give you some. Does not taste good tho. Think of black sludge, cause sexy vampire is dead as fuck.

Yut-Lung was turned by his elder brothers, and to thank them he killed them all super dead. Used to be their blood bag, now he runs this shit. Lives in his fancy ass castle. Eiji was turned bc he was violently attacked by a sloppy vampire, and lives in a cabin, falls in love with a human named Ash.

Ash has special human blood that is super tasty to everyone (why he was kept as Dino's blood bag for so long) , cept Yut-Lung who hates him. Said his blood taste like gutter water. Ash and Yut-Lung are friends.

Nadia was turned into a vampire like Eiji was. Shorter became a lycan after getting into a fight with a vampire and a werewolf. Now he's unstoppable. Gets his blood fix from Yut-Lung.

Bones was a werewolf, then he upgraded to lycan after protecting Kong.

[reversecreek]

✵ zloane , bravier , nyla and sean

ZIGGY & SLOANE

their first impression of your muse:

sexy. tugged on her hair literally the first time he saw her hadn’t even had a conversation bt was just like target? located. going? ✈️ annoy her. probably initially just thought she was only at the skate park bc sean was n was like 🙄 then she cld actually skate n he was like 😏 liked that she gave him shit. found it funny pushing her buttons. liked her eyes. probably was like wtf is in the fuckin water in this town yo why all my friends got hot sisters that shit aint right tryna make me a dog....... not that he was even. phased by betraying those boundaries bt. still. i won’t lie his main first impression was probably jst damn bit hot when she glares at me like that. KJHFSGKSJHGKGHSFKGH

current impression:  

knows her a little more than he likes to know people. favourite person to argue w. can possibly skate better than him bt if she said so he’d be like “ur off ur fuckin tits man” n then practice secretly on his own for hours that night n get 9457295 scrapes. doesn’t like talking abt her dad like him so one time he put a firework in his mailbox n never admitted it was him. has reactions to youtube videos tht make him snort. quite funny in general rly. drinks a lot not that he can judge it’s just sometimes he notices n once he even snatched her cup n drank the rest so she couldn’t. played it off as their typical fuckery bt he isn’t sure what that feeling was. hasn’t been concerned often enough to know it by name. finds her hot at inappropriate moments like when a movie chara’s dying n he’s meant to be sad. finds her hot when she pisses him off too. thinks mayb she likes the excuse to hold onto him when she rides on his vespa but he kind of likes it too so he’s not about to call it out bc “he isn’t about that deep shit”. 

are they attracted to your muse?:  

KFJHGKJGHFGKFHSGKSHGKSFGH. imagine i was jst like no <3... yes. he likes to act like he’s less so than he is bt it’s obvious.

something they find frightening about your muse:

i wouldn’t say it frightens him bt sometimes he catches her looking at him a certain way n it unsettles him but he doesn’t know why. usually just pretends he didn’t catch it.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

he likes her short hair he’s always ruffling it n tugging on it. whenever she hs bumps n scrapes n bruises from falling off her board n getting back on over n over again jst never giving up or giving a fk. when she acts like she isn’t jealous.

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

umm. no. he’s an asshole. KGJSHFKGHSKFHGSKFGHKGH. sighs.

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

no..... sees that as dangerous territory wouldn’t wna blur the lines. looks away.

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

baddie. FKGJHSKGHFGSFHGSKGHSFKHG. demonic (when they’ve had a fight). 

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no. he loves to argue w her but it never feels that Real u know... more like flirting. even when they’re rly pissed off. wld never enter that territory he hates shit like tht w a passion. cue round of applause from the audience for this absolutely low bar.

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

i feel like they’re not rly huggy people...... ziggy probably puts his arm around her a lot tho he loves doing that. hs kissed her more times than he can count too n doesn’t plan on stopping

BRADLEY & XAVIER

their first impression of your muse:

funny. mean in a more digestible way than she was used to. he had barbs n she liked the way people winced when they tried to swallow his company. when she got paired w him for a class project she met his eyes across the room n he didn’t quickly look away like most ppl. something abt that intrigued her. a sharp fingernail inside her head kept having to itch at something n she realised it was the urge for him to call her a bad name. this weird craving to hear an angry word inside his mouth just for her. she used to think that’s what someone wanting her was like. still does sometimes. this both pissed her off n caught her attention which is a bit of an accomplishment fr someone who gets bored by everyone n everything.

current impression:  

his heart’s more good than she expected. it felt a bit like having a cat drop a dead mouse at ur doorstep that u don’t know what to do with when she realised that. she felt uncomfortably like her mother when she couldn’t get out of his bed bc she was too depressed n that rly made her feel like. ill honestly. he did all the right things but suddenly she just felt sick abt the whole situation which is Not the normal reaction to ur bf caring about u but bradley doesn’t understand ppl caring abt her. felt more like pity. she thinks he’s better off. she misses him sometimes bt then she reminds herself she doesn’t miss people. does a good job of believing it. one of the best ppl she’s dated not that she’d say it.

are they attracted to your muse?:  

yes..... ws probably. unhinged n rabid when they were dating. very good at hiding it now however. cold at the drop of a hat.

something they find frightening about your muse:

that he witnessed her being vulnerable............ literally grosses her out so much like she’d rather die than. anyone see her like that. when they were dating she’d get paranoid her dad wld somehow find out too n smthn wld happen to him for it. it ws definitely weird for her like the fact she even cared enough to consider tht.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

adorable is rly not a word that fits into bradley’s vocabulary GHSFGHSFKGHSFKG bt hm. maybe if he ever tried to tell her what to do one time even casually. she’d b like awww..... u think i do what anyone tells me? that’s so fucking sweet. 

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

in most cases no :/..... however if it was smthn to do w the guys that work for her dad then ya she’d put herself in danger to avoid him being in it.

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

i mean she has in the past bt bradley’s idea of dates is like. starting a bar fight together. getting thrown out of a club n both falling over into trash cans in a dingy back alley. stealing a car. breaking into a random house n fking in a stranger’s bed. fking in the bk of a movie theatre w a horror movie screening. definitely not dinner or anything like tht. she wldn’t now........ they’re not exactly in a place fr that..... 

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

ex. whatever. i know it’s not one word but “some guy”. FGHSKGHFGKSHG >_>

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no. she’s a violent person bt not xavier.

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

NO hugging...................... she fronts like she wldn’t kiss him bt like. if a discussion got heated n they were in each other’s faces who’s to say. 

NYLA & SEAN

their first impression of your muse:

strange little fella which is a very high compliment. kind of reminded them of an animated turtle come to life in the human realm altho they honestly don’t have an explanation for that it’s just the way their brain works. they love the turtles in finding nemo tho so maybe there’s some sort of correlation. very nice face. they kind of wanted to hold his head like a bowling ball just so they could examine it properly. i feel like when they first met him they probably reached out n smoothed a sticky label onto his forehead that said ‘catfish in chernobyl’ n they had one on their forehead that was blank n then they just wafted a pen mid air n were like ‘wanna play guesses?’ even tho that isn’t the name of the game. as if that was just. a completely normal introduction to someone. FGKHSKHGSFKGHSFKG. feel like sean wld have rolled w that tho so nyla was like :P i like.... if they played another round they’d give sean another sticky label that said ‘the loneliest whale in the world’ n then it’d start a whole conversation abt how nyla thinks they can speak whaleish. (whale spin on elvish). 

current impression:  

sean makes them think of that artificial blue raspberry flavour some popsicles have n how it’s always rly fun when they stain ur tongue. sweet n exuberant n leaves a bright impression. he lets them ride on his skateboard sometimes rolling along being lead by them holding his hand n nyla likes to shut their eyes like they’re a bird sailing above the clouds. one of their favourite things to do especially when the sun’s out. bc of this nyla thinks sean was a bird in his past life but not a greedy one like a seagull or a plain one like a pigeon. maybe a bluebird bc of his eyes. he makes them laugh a lot. they entrusted him to babysit their children (as pictured) in his hair for a whole day and night once n they had lots of fun with him so nyla thinks he’s very trustworthy and kind. he also is rly easy to talk to like they cld randomly be like “i’ve been thinking lately that maybe homer simpson could’ve been a good figure skater” n sean wldn’t look at them like they’ve lost their marbles he’d just go w it. they like his company a lot.

are they attracted to your muse?:  

😏

something they find frightening about your muse:

ummm nothing in particular altho one time when they were rly tripping out bc his eyes are blue n it got them thinking abt the ocean n they always think they can talk to ghosts underwater so they were kind of like. thinking abt ghosts whenever they looked him in the eyes. maybe covered their own w their hands n if sean asked why they told him abt it. suddenly he shut his eyes to make them feel better n it turned into a whole thing where nyla had to lead him around the party like a guide dog.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

his nose. watching him talk to his siblings. his hands.

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

😌 yea

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

yes............ feel like they’d have fun if they went anywhere tbh........ cn imagine them at a fair eating from the same cotton candy n chattering as they point out things. nyla trying to do that hammer game where u make the meter reach the top n lifting the hammer in the air n falling backwards bc it was heavier than they anticipated.... sean yelling like man down man down..... mayb they take a tab n suddenly the fair is so scary they’re like 😳 we’re in danger...

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

silly (affectionate). sailor (also term of endearment). gnome (same thing again). cool.

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no ur sick....

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

ya to both. jst suddenly had a vision too of nyla being cold one time n clinging to sean from the front like a bushbaby in a hug as he carries her around. suddenly this mode of transportation hs happened more thn once (godmod) (contact my lawyers if u dare bebe) (bitch) (i take it back) (it wasn’t right alli it jst wasn’t right) (pelase forigev m eim shakign)