#but becuase 'it makes me feel better' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tenrose · 1 year

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My therapist give me "homeworks" and it seems so complicated and emotionally draining on a paper but he told me that my own avoiding mechanisms are in fact worse and more complicated I just don't realize...

#i have to go drink coffee in a public space #alone which i can do #but i have to not look at my phone or read and watch people for as long as i can #and also i have to force myself to cook #not because i have to #but becuase 'it makes me feel better'#and organise my cooking schedule and dishes in advance #because he knows that if i miss one single ingredient i won't do it #even tho there is a shop five minutes by walking from where i live #also told me to put the ingredients ready the morning so i see them and do the stuff #anyway i hope it works #i mena i do cook even tho lately it has been a slide to the void #so i hope I manage to get myself back on track #and cook and eat at reasonable hours so i can sleep earlier #so if i sleep earlier id be more fit to find another job #next time I'll talk to him about the filth I am with cleaning... even though im like very ashamed of it and hate myself for it #but i can't solve everything at once

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scopophobia-polaris · 5 months

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Honestly could we throw out the idea that totk's story issue is that it isn't consistent with the lore of the older games but instead drops intresting world building from botw because it might have gotten actually dark

#seriously eveeyone keeps up bring up the triforce not being the same like the older games instead of HEY why DOES the royal family just.....#have it #like all of it #and was the sheikah tech from the last game that functions the same was as light arrows/the biden blast was uh #how do i put this #how did they weaponize lightmagic in robots and does this all tie in with the “banishment” thing #or idk dropped point from botw zelda's fucking chracter arc #i know it ended with LOOOK!!!! YOU FUCKED UP BY DOING WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS RIGHT #But damn they could of just not done that shit in totk making her just the #what was jt #idk man they just keep taking away her agency #man and it sucks cuz the dragon is so cool but mf shes forced to do it what she gonna do stay in the past and DIE?#idk man it just all feels hasty. makes me sad #and it sucks cuz a lot of shit shit is really cool and intresting but man idk i may become a botw zelda deserved a better weiter for her #becuase girl she needs a break. not saying chracters cant go through hardship #but there is something so nasty about the framing of youll never be anything but eveey past princess zelda trope and nothing more #instead of a crystal she turns into a dragon like guys this is the same as skyward sword but idk man is it werd to say #when Hylia does it aginst a thing that wants to steal the god triangles and is also a god its like yeah you had no other choice #how the fuck did one fuckass stone make ganondorf into a god like being you would think that like #mannwhy are the stones THAT powerful and why werent the other bitches able to take them down what because #did #did rauru give sonia the equivalent of the one ring at their wedding hey wait a fuck #sorry for all my spelling mistakes but what the fuck man

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hawnks · 3 months

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Etienne pushes on a pull door in front of Mason and he cries himself to sleep that night

#he’s trying to open it for her too #he’s like ‘allow me mon cherie’ (doesn’t speak French btw)#and the silence that follows after the door won’t budge…..#(well it budges A LITTLE because. yknow. vampire strength)#anyway Mason holds back a laugh becuase she doesn’t want to make him feel bad but that just makes him feel WORSE #she learns that it’s better to laugh at him #and then give him 10000 kissies 😔

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reverintherevery · 2 years

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I was watching young justice and decided to draw the bestest boy in dc because I miss him 🥺

So take a wip Inspired in a fic I was reading.

#karday fanart #karday wip #art wip #young justice cartoon #nightwing #dick grayson #dc comics #dc #i love him your honor #lowkey vent art becuase i need to feel better and drawing him makes me feel better #yjs4 #young justice phantoms

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fractallogic · 1 year

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just want to say that the salary range of one of the jobs I applied to today was $118-140K, which is such a laughably stupid and unfathomable amount of money that I just shut it out of my brain until I was pondering idly just now

my salary right now is $54K. my only-touch-this-money-for-research-costs stipend is another $15K (so yeah I have access to $69K per year, nice). i can't IMAGINE making basically my entire two year postdoc of pay... in a year.

like I know you get paid better out of academia but holy fuck it has NOT been sinking in

#this is like BUY A HOUSE money #and BUY A NICE NAP-ON-ABLE COUCH money #and BUY THE CHAIR THAT COSTS A MONTH'S RENT RIGHT NOW money #and MOVE TO DENVER WITHOUT NEEDING RELOCATION COSTS BECAUSE THE JOB IS REMOTE money #is this how people like. afford children???#also my god the realization i had just now that before taxes i make $26/hr is also laughable #this does feel like the appropriate minimum wage.#i live comfortably! except when i was having to pay an extra 1000-1500/mo to visit my mom!#or when it comes to having to buy my own healthcare and trying to find a therapist!#it also makes me feel better about going 'six hours? yeah that seems like a good enough work day'#anyway i'm going to go to bed. tomorrow i have no participants coming in. damn them.#but it also means that maybe i'll roll in with my now monday-ly jimmy johns for lunch??#i'll see how i feel.#it also means i'm only moderately fucked by staying up this late #sorry @ cousin asking 'do what you love or get a fat salary'#having been incredibly underpaid the last 10 years i can confirm that a fat salary >>> doing what you love #becuase here's the thing i can do what i love when i'm NOT earning a fat salary #and having a fat salary and benefits means i'm more likely to actually be able to do what i love

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hinadori-chan · 10 months

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low key wanna like

set up a queue for posts i like that don’t circulate anymore so that way the recirculate but also i don’t spam but like

i don’t think i’ve ever used a queue before tbh lol

#listen i’ve always been the kind of blogger where you just know what i’m about when i’m about it #but since this is more of a fandom sidespace than my actual blog maybe that’s the better route?#cause there’s a lot of really good fanart and fanfics and analytical pieces that just #don’t get as much love since they got burried by time and i wanna bring them back to the forefront becuase they’re GOOD #and people put their heart and soul and time into them and i want them to be appreciated becuase i love them and they make me happy #but also i’ve hit post limit multiple times becuase if this blog and i’m scared it’ll happen again #cause i think you still hit it with the queue too #and like #i do actually use my main blog a log and the posts come from the same pool #(pro tip for new users btw if your side blogs are connected to your main account all your posts come from a pool that your account gets)#(kind of like a deck of cards that has to be distributed between all players)#ANYWAY it might be the better move for now #i’ll stew on that while i try and get myself out of writers block #cause i’ll need to get the first draft of peghawks2023 done this weekend if i want ot done in time for the 16th #need to figure out how to trick my brain into working #had this problem in school also #the only reason i passed is because most my teachers loved me and wanted me to succeed in spite of my executive dysfunction #and my other two teachers hated me so much (adhd kid with a pension to cause problems) that they passed me #just so they never had to see me again lmao #it’s okay feelings were mutual fuck those guys #(or love those guys for the teachers that adored me)#(hope they’re doing good)#what was i talking about #RIGHT queues and writing #yeah i should go do that okay bye for now!!!

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caruliaa · 8 months

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losing something you once had feels so much worse iv learned then realising youll never get something you never had

#this isnt true im just not in the middle of the second one anymore but its just. such a new sudden pain #what do you do when you lose a close connection with someone that used to tell you you made every day of their life better #and that theyd do anything to keep you in their life just a few months ago?#how you deal with the pain of the person youd go to to laugh with and cry to being gone?#i dont know. i dont other than to just. try to make sure im still here tomorrow and do the same the day after #its jsut so sudden. three years gone in less than a week i cant bear it. and i can still talk to them and i want it that way #and like. just just just i hope so deeply that one day we will be able to rebuild a relationship again #but thats dependant on them not on me. and i know if that day does come its at the several least months away #its not even their fault i know what theyre going through has to be awful too. i just dont know what it is and it feels so sudden for me #idk. what do you do when you lose the person you wanted to learn how to drive you could drive to meet them irl one day #before youve even started lessons? other than cry to olivia rodrigo ig but i was listening to olivia rodrgo without crying on friday #can i go back to that please? can i go back to before this fell apart becuase it did so quickly and i dont know how #vent #flappy rambles

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confettigraffiti · 1 year

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I miss talking to my friends genuinely but also I have very much overstayed my welcome everywhere and it's too late (I got VERY annoying near the end + fell out of a major interest which didn't help. my bad yall 😔) I feel like I should remake at this point and just move on but also. move on to what

#goddamn its fucking confetti again #go back #like at this point nobody wants me around because of obvious reasons but also #part of me would rather be distantly known as instead of being completely forgotten 💀#love my inability to keep up with anyone despite wanting to so bad #either becuase i cant fucking remember or because eventually i either become intensely annoying or intensely boring #im already a fraction of how active as i was like even a year and a half ago. Would it even matter if i remade. Probably not #WORST lesbian dream of my life was dreaming about bayojeanne and having every single positive feeling i felt about them and then waking #and remembering i can never go back to that. I dont even care about bayo 3 anymore i just know i was MAD annoying #and i cant just to it even if i wanted #and then it started making me spiral about everything even unrelated to it #pain. So much pain. Lets take ibuprofen together #ok thinking about it most of everyone probably doesnt even remember me and arent actively annoyed by me so. Maybe thats better #thats probably better #uhrmm thid got long lol sorry i dont really hsve access to a place to talk anymore so i kind of just go here #bc this tumblr is filled with dead followers and so its safer snd less likely it gets seen #not to be dramatic but this must br what dying feels like lol

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thecoolertails · 1 year

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one way dream gets to me. it really really gets to me

#my posts #like knowing that it's how sonic team feels about the series moving forward #and just being someone who loves the sonic the hedgehog series so deeply and how much it means to me #and just. just everything #sonic the hedgehog #sonic frontiers #sega had better give sonic team all the time and support and resources they need in order to make something really stellar #becuase i know they can and they want to #frontiers is a great step in the right direction but there are still things about it that seem like they ran out of time #and sonic team is so small like it's only ~60 people???

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hawnks · 2 years

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all of the nurses at the clinic being extra special nice to me becuase i came in looking like this:

#tw drugs #drug mention #in the tags #I just be rambling #‘p-p-please may I have some adderall?’#they’re not allowed to prescribe adderall without at least 5 adhd tests becuase this is a college town tho jsjdjdjfkf #i am starting a non-stimulant today tho and I’m nervous!!!#I’ve never been on medication before and I grew up in a very ‘drugs are for when you’re bleeding out or giving birth ONLY’ type household #so I was like……. maybe through sheer willpower I can overcome #but then I was like watching this lecture by russel Barkley about executive dysfunction #and I was like. yeah. this person knows me.#‘for adhd the problem isn’t knowing. the problem is that there is a wall between knowing and doing.’#i went to get blood work done and the nurse was like trying to soothe me with conversation and I was like 👁👄👁#AM i really so small little pathetic??#like YES it did make me feel better. but I’m embarrassed. 😔

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trans-phone-eater · 8 days

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I hope there is hell specifically so i and only i can go there i deserve pain worse than anyone has ever felt. I do not deserve to live i do not deserve to exist my existence is a horrible despicable vurse upon this world everyu single problem on this earth is my fault and mine alone I am completely serious/genuine about this. I want to suffer because i deserve it. I cannot tolerate pain and i think is shouls drown in a flood of it. The world would improve significantly if i was torn limb from limb bone from bone and reassembled in an infinite loop.