#but controlling herself so fiercely also makes her want to control her emotional son and move him and August around like chess pieces

[amyriadfthings]

Sometimes you´re out grocery shopping and idly browsing the frozen veg section when you suddenly remember that the queen threw up after Erik´s death when Wille said he´s always been compared to his brother and Wille threw up when he realized he´s going to have to keep being crown prince.

And you think about similar reactions to stress of parent and child and you remember the queen told Wille to take three deep breaths when he freaked out over Simon´s date and how she sends him to therapy to control his outbursts (ugh).

And you think where did it all go wrong that she can´t ever connect with her son when she´s obviously got some experience in that department. I think we meet her so far into her own history of controlling her emotions that she´s unable and mostly unwilling to connect even when Wille is outright asking her to be his mom (gah!), because oh hey, those would be more emotions she would need to allow to break through, and those walls are staying. Maybe in her mind even for Wille´s own good, to teach him how it´s done.

And there´s certainly reasons for those walls and it´s probably part self-protection and probably people telling her from a young age she needs to have them, and probably also because she´s a woman on the throne, so people would probably insist a little extra on them.

The most honest and raw I´ve seen her in the show is the moment she throws up.

(I usually question what she´s saying to Wille or August, no matter what warm or soft tone she´s using about what the court allegedly wants her to do, how it´s not really her, and how she actually supports Wille etc, as she´s been proven to manipulate Wille (and August in S2) into doing what she thinks is best for the institution she´s the head of. The one whose survival is always the priority, as per her own words.)

She´s shown to do royal business in what looks like pyjamas after all, the most casual and private of clothes, telling us there´s no separation, ever, that she´s always the queen. She rolls her eyes at her son after ending a phone call in which a rattled Wille sits among shards of glass negotiating with her (!), after she wanted to forcibly remove him from school. She doesn´t ever truly seem torn or conflicted, except that one time she throws up.

When her emotional core literally breaks its way out of her against her will.

No wonder she completely underestimates Wille and the depth and power for change his emotions hold after he´s finally allowed some therapy (that he could have used long ago just for growing up in that institution) and experienced actual emotional growth and healing instead of using it for control like she probably has. No wonder she and the court collectively underestimate Simon and what his love, what their love and connection mean to Wille. (Looking at you, Jan-Olof, allowing Wille a moment with Simon, you fool!) It´s simply been too long behind those impenetrable walls that she can´t even see it anymore. Until her son shows her. And you wonder if he´s even breaking through to her, or if she´s just been confirmed in her fears about his emotional unruliness and will dig in deeper inside her fortress. (Another time if feels like we see some honest emotion from her is of course in S1 when she´s visibly angry as she says that nobody ever chooses the royal life, so maybe Wille can relay Boris´ message about choosing how to live your life to her? Maybe she´s not beyond Boris´ wisdom. Anyway.)

The show shines such an unforgiving light on that institution that chokes all feelings and individual freedom out of you, especially over such a long time as with the queen, but I love love love how hopeful and defiant Wille´s journey of deliberate progress is in the face of it.

And I do hope he´ll continue therapy and never allows his own walls back up once they´re down.

[nerdyenby]

I’m sure plenty of people have thought about it but I haven’t seen anyone dissect it so let’s talk about

Soren and Claudia as a reflection of Zuko and Azula

Obviously there’s the whole “kids of the big bad, son gets redeemed, daughter falls further into evil” thing but you can go so much deeper with it.

The Azula/Claudia parallels are pretty overt: villain’s prodigy daughter bases her whole identity around being good at what her father wanted her to be and becomes so desperate for approval she becomes functionally irredeemable (withholding the acknowledgment that she is a victim of manipulation and emotional abuse).

But we get to see in tdp what we never got in atla: the fall.

Azula was conniving and ready to do anything for her father’s approval long before we met her, and similar is true for Claudia, but we get to see a window into who Claudia could have been. We see her have friends and passions and interests and doubts. We see her looking for the best in people and believing what she’s doing is right. We see Claudia wrestle with the morality of her actions. We see her crossing the line and knowing it. We see her losing herself in desperation to get back a life long gone. We see her acknowledge that she has done unforgivable things and hating herself for her willingness to do them.

Claudia is Azula’s arc in reverse. Instead of getting this terrifying, perfect warrior fall apart at the seams when losing control, we get a girl who knows there is a line treading closer and closer until she’s crossed it so many times she doesn’t bother going back any more. We watch Azula’s prefect image fracture and break, we see Claudia collecting her broken pieces, reconstructing herself into something unrecognizable. We watch Azula’s fall from grace, we see Claudia’s rise to power.

Soren and Zuko’s parallels are almost more interesting to me, because they’re a bit more subtle. They are not each other, you could not slot them into each other’s stories like you could with their sisters. They are distinct but that’s what makes them such interesting foils.

Zuko’s arc is of him breaking out of who he was “supposed” to be and finding who he wants to be. Soren’s isn’t. He’s an adult, he’s already decided magic wasn’t for him. He knew he didn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps, but he still wanted to make him proud. Soren is a warrior but he doesn’t try to be anyone he’s not, he’s a fierce fighter but he’s also an absolute goofball. He’s not the smartest, but he enjoys exploring new ideas and he wants to make people happy, he knows who he is. Zuko, however, is heartbreakingly clueless to what kind of person he is outside of his father’s orders.

Soren has a more defined personality from the get-go, but Zuko has to figure himself out on how own starting halfway through the series. Zuko’s life had been governed by a desperation to earn his father’s love and years of rage, he never got the chance to explore himself beyond this until season three. Soren, on the other hand, knows himself, but has his identity challenged and chipped away at. He is a crown guard, a protector, but he finds himself causing more harm than good. He’s loyal, he wants to fight to make the world a better place, but when he becomes paralyzed he knows that this is better — that he doesn’t want to hurt anyone and that he doesn’t trust his orders to not lead him astray. He wants to do the right thing and make people happy, but standing up for what’s right breaks his sister’s heart and pushes her over the edge. He is determined to help make a better future, one of peace and forgiveness, but that means protecting the king, even against his own father. Soren believes goodwill and faith are the key to a better world, but he can no longer trust Claudia, his sister and closest friend. He believes in letting go of the hurt of the past, but he’s mourned his father twice and he’s still alive.

Soren is a good man who wants to do the right thing, but every step of the way is a personal challenge. While Zuko is struggling to find himself and who he wants to become, Soren is fighting not to lose the best parts of himself when his identity is constantly being challenged.

Zuko’s banishment is a key part of his story, he was thrown out, forcefully separated from his family and forced to find himself on his own while his father’s shadow loomed over him. Soren, however, had been his father’s right hand in a way. He was right there, watching his father and sister slip further and further into dark magic that gradually eclipsed who they once were. He was by Claudia’s side as she did increasingly horrible things to satisfy their father, he watched as she slowly became someone he didn’t recognize anymore. Soren himself was ordered to kill for his father and almost went through with it. Zuko was never asked to do anything like that, probably because Ozai didn’t think Zuko would be willing or able to go through with it, but Viren believed in Soren. He wanted his son by his side, and for most of his life that’s what Soren wanted, too. Viren’s a messed up dude but, in his own messed up ways, he did care for Soren.

That’s part of what makes these families such good foils: that there was love there. Viren loves his kids in a possessive and controlling way, but he does want them safe and close; Ozai only ever wanted his kids to be useful. Claudia loved her brother, and Soren continues to love her.

Zuko and Azula have resented each other for most of their lives. There is sadness there, a sense of loss of what they could’ve had, but they never got to have a proper relationship. We get to watch Claudia and Soren fall apart, while we only ever got to see Zuko and Azula hate and pity each other. That is what hurts.

Look at their goodbye in season three, look at their reunion in season four, look at how they care for each other and how terrified they are of what’s happening before them. Now imagine Zuko and Azula in their place.

That is how you do good foils.

[sequinsmile-x]

Backfire - Part 2

Another Thanksgiving in the Hotchner house.

Part 1 is here, but you don't have to have read it for this to make sense. This part is a little prequel based on a moment mentioned in part one <3

Also, side note, I have slept maybe 12 hours total since Saturday so this is very much sponsored by my insomnia...

-x-

This is a little Thanksgiving themed fic for you all (if you live somewhere like me that doesn't have Thanksgiving...just consider it some Thursday night fluff.)

This is also a birthday present for @ms-black-a. I hope you've had a lovely day, and please consider this your fluff warning 😘

-x-

Word: 2.5k

Warnings: pregnancy/brief hospitalisation (everyone is fine)

Read over on Ao3 or below the cut

Emily sighs as she sits back on the couch having successfully leant forward just enough to place her empty bowl on the coffee table in front of her. She breathes out steadily, adjusting herself so she was as comfortable as possible, her hand rubbing over her bump.

“I used to be able to run in high heels whilst shooting straight,” she grumbles, smiling as she feels a kick against her hand. She shifts again so her son was no longer compressing her lungs quite so much, making breathing a tiny bit easier. “Now I can’t even lean forward without feeling out of breath.”

“That’s because you’re 37 weeks pregnant, sweetheart,” Aaron says, appearing out of seemingly nowhere to lean over the back of the couch and drop a kiss on the top of her head. He rounds the couch, and grabs the bowl from the table, “Are you done?”

She looks up at him with eyes he just knows their son will inherit. Dark, beautiful, and able to convince him of just about anything.

“Just a little more?” Emily says, holding up her thumb and index finger close together. Aaron raises an eyebrow at her, smirking in a way she hated herself for finding attractive, and she rolls her eyes at him. “Come on, honey, it’s Thanksgiving and I am very pregnant. I should be able to eat as much mashed potato as I want.”

He looks at the empty bowl in his hand, before looking back at his wife. He holds back his comment about the fierce heartburn she’d had just a couple of days before after she’d eaten significantly less rich food than she had today. He hadn’t said anything when she’d gone for the second slice of pumpkin pie either and had quickly had to distract Jack from saying anything as the young boy furrowed his brows at his stepmother.

Aaron knows mentioning it wouldn’t work in his favour, and even if he did bring it up, he’d just end up bringing her the mashed potato anyway, except she would have cried first.

It was the aspect of pregnancy he knew she struggled with the most. The complete lack of control over her emotions her least favourite side effect. She often told him she’d rather have the morning sickness back, although he again held back any comments about how miserable she’d been in her first trimester.

“Ok fine,” he relents, and he can’t help but return her smile as she beams at him, “But I’m bringing you some green beans too.”

Emily scoffs as he walks away, and feels her son move again before turning her attention back to her stomach.

“Don’t worry sweet boy, I’ll eat around the green beans.”

___

“Are you sure you can’t come?”

Emily smiles at Jack and pulls him closer to her so he was pressed up against her side, “You’re going to have fun tonight with Aunt Jessie and your grandpa, sweetheart,” she says, kissing his temple, “And then you’ll come back in the morning and Dad will make us pancakes, ok?”

Jack sighs as if he’d just been told he had last-minute homework to do over the holidays, and it makes Emily’s chest ache. Ever since he’d overheard Roy talking negatively about Aaron he’d been a little hesitant to spend time with him. They never forced him to go, and always gave him the choice, and he always ended up having fun but this happened every time as if the young boy was worried it would happen again. Anxiety flowing through him in a way that made Emily wish Aaron would let her have five minutes alone with Roy. He’d made a very concerted effort to keep her away from Roy whilst she was pregnant, knowing her turbulent emotions would likely snap if the older man even looked at any of them the wrong way.

She looks at Jack and sees how he still looks unsure and she hooks a finger under his chin and smiles as their eyes meet.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Jack smiles sadly at her, “They’ll already be on their way.”

“I don’t care,” she says, shrugging slightly, “If you don’t want to go, you don’t go. And then you can hang out with me and your dad,” she smiles at him, her hand moving to tickle at his ribs, desperate to hear his laugh, to see his real smile, “Although, I think I’m going to convince your dad to let me eat more Thanksgiving Dinner in bed and then go to sleep.”

Jack giggles, shifting away from her so she can’t tickle him anymore, “The baby wants more mashed potato?” He asks incredulously, looking so much like Aaron that it makes her laugh.

“Yes, sweetie. He always wants more,” she replies, winking at him, proud of herself for cheering him up. It was during moments like this that she knew she could do it, all of her worries falling away as she told herself that she could be a mother.

Because she already was one.

The doorbell rings, followed by Aaron’s yell that he’ll get the door, and she smiles at Jack again.

“So, what do you want to do?”

Jack looks serious for a moment before nodding at her, “I’ll go! Aunt Jessie promised me ice cream, and Grandpa said he’s got a new game for me.”

Emily smiles at him and pulls him in for a hug, kissing the side of his head before he pulls away.

“Have fun sweetheart,” she says, smiling at him as he runs towards the door, “Love you.”

“Love you too, Emily.”

She settles back into the couch, grimacing as she feels a tightness in her belly, and her chest, a burning sensation rippling through her before it disappears.

She places her hand on her stomach, her fingers trailing over the tight skin, “What are you up to in there?”

___

The pain doesn’t go away.

She’s able to get to bed and fall asleep, early enough that she would have considered it embarrassing only a few months ago, but wakes up only an hour later, the pain is much worse. She’s alone in their room, and she can hear Aaron downstairs, the clattering of pans as he puts away the dishes from their low-key dinner echoing around the house.

Emily groans as she sits up, her hand pressed against her bump as she closes her eyes and breathes through the pain, sharp and right at the top of her belly.

“Ok, sweet boy,” she says, sounding calmer than she feels, groaning as she stands, “Whatever you’re up to…I think it’s best we go tell your dad.”

She’s sure it’s never taken her longer to walk down the hall, leaning against the wall. She makes it to the top of the stairs and realises she can’t make it down them alone, the pain almost constant, burning through her, and she sighs, her head leaning back against the wall as she takes in a deep breath.

“Aaron,” she calls out, not surprised as she hears a beat of silence, immediately followed by a loud clamour as he drops whatever he’d been holding.

“Sweetheart?” He replies, sounding slightly panicked as he comes into view, his concern clearly increasing as he catches sight of her hunched over at the top of the stairs, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” she says, her voice shaking slightly, watching as he takes the stairs two at a time, reaching her side before she can say anything else, “I had a bit of pain earlier, but I thought it was just…being pregnant and always uncomfortable,” she explains, relaxing slightly as he wraps an arm around her, gently guiding her down the stairs, “But I just woke up and it really hurts.”

“Is it coming and going, or constant?” He asks, already sounding calmer than he had done moments before. She knew he’d slipped into work mode, that he was putting his concerns on the back burner until he knew she was ok, and she was grateful for it. Her nerves were fried, fear that something was wrong with her baby and the pain enough to make tears press at the back of her eyes.

“Constant,” she replies as they get to the bottom of the stairs, taking a moment to stop moving, her hand in a tight fist in his t-shirt.

“Do you think you’re in labour?” He asks, his hand against her cheeks, then her forehead as if that would give him the answer. She bats his hand away, irritation with him the easier emotion to feel over her overwhelming fear.

“I don’t know,” she replies, her hand grasping tighter at his shirt, catching his skin in between her nails.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

She looks at him like he’s grown a second head, her mouth open in disbelief, “I mean I don’t know,” she says through gritted teeth, “Funnily enough I’ve never done this before.”

Aaron takes a moment to breathe, before nodding at his wife, pushing his own emotions down.

“Ok,” he says, leaning forward and kissing her forehead, “We’re going to get some shoes on you, and then I’m going to help you out to the car, and we’ll go to the hospital to get you checked out.” She nods, and the lack of an argument on any part of his plan, the hospital or the insinuation that she needed help to get into the car, is enough to let him how afraid she is. He takes a moment to cup her face, gaining her attention as he runs his thumb gently over her cheekbone, “Everything will be ok, sweetheart.”

She nods again, her jaw clenched tight as she forces herself to hold back the tears she knows he can see shining in her eyes.

Aaron smiles at her, an attempt to be reassuring that falls flat, and he leans forward to kiss her forehead.

“Come on, Em. The sooner we get there, the sooner they can tell us what’s going on.”

___

“How are you feeling?”

She smiles at her husband, raising an eyebrow as she turns her head to look at him, squeezing his hand in hers before she answers.

“The exact same way I did when you asked 5 minutes ago, love,” she replies, shifting on the bed she was sitting on, “Although it is nice to have my pants back on.”

She’d been examined by a nurse only minutes after they arrived, reassured that she wasn’t any more dilated than she had been at her check-up only a couple of days previously. They’d both smiled, and felt some fear dissipate when the nurse did an ultrasound, their son’s heartbeat as strong as ever, his little thumb in his mouth as he moved around inside of Emily. They were waiting for the doctor to come and see her, to figure out where the pain was coming from. She could still feel it, albeit a little less intense now than when she had woken up.

The curtain around her cubicle is pulled open, and a very tired-looking doctor comes into view, a smile on her face as she walks towards them.

“Sorry about the wait,” she says, picking up Emily’s file from the end of the bed, “You wouldn’t believe how many burns I’ve dressed today from people trying to deep fry a turkey,” she reads the paperwork and looks up at them both, “Everything looks good, the baby is in the right position, your waters are intact.”

“So I’m definitely not in labour?” Emily asks, squeezing Aaron’s hand a little tighter, grateful when he does the same back.

“No, Emily you aren’t,” the doctor replies, placing the files back down.

“Then where is the pain coming from?” Aaron asks, his concern for his wife and child written all over his face now the immediate danger was seemingly gone.

“I have my suspicions,” the doctor says, her hip against the end of Emily’s bed, “Did you happen to eat a lot of food today?” She asks, a wry smile on her face, “Turkey, potatoes, all the trimmings followed by a slice of pumpkin pie?”

“Two slices,” Aaron mutters, although not quietly enough if the way Emily’s nails dig into his hands the laugh from the doctor is anything to go by. “And a lot of mashed potato,” he adds, knowing he’s in trouble anyway.

Emily glares at her husband before looking back at the doctor, “Yes, I did…why?”

The doctor clears her throat, obviously amused by the couple in front of her, “You have very severe heartburn,” she says simply, “You woke up with it at its worst because you’d been laying down.”

Emily stares at her for a moment, before she feels her cheeks start to heat up, embarrassment replacing the fear she’d been feeling since she woke up in a panic.

“It’s…heartburn?” She asks her free hand pressing into the top of her belly before shifting to her chest. The doctor nods and Emily sighs. “Oh god, I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” the doctor assures her, “I did the exact same thing when I had my youngest 3 years ago, and I do this for a living,” she digs through her pocket to pull out her prescription pad, “I’ll write you up for some pregnancy friendly antacids,” she says as she does just that, tearing off the paper and handing it to Aaron, “and I’ll organise your discharge so you can go home.”

“Thank you so much,” Aaron says, smiling at the doctor, breathing out a sigh of relief that releases the final tension from his chest.

“No problem at all,” the doctor says, looking back at Emily, “And I know it’s tempting, but I’d suggest steering clear of a lot of really rich food in these last few weeks. Stick to fruit, veggies etc,” she winks at Emily, clearly seeing her embarrassment return, “Although I’m sure you can get your husband to stretch to the odd slice of pie.”

“Thank you so much,” Emily says genuinely, relieved that nothing more serious was wrong, and she keeps her smile fixed on her face until she is alone again with her husband, the curtain re-drawn around them. She looks at him and sees a familiar look in his eyes, one that looked a little too close to smugness for her liking. She points at him, her eyebrows raised in warning, “Don’t even think about saying it.”

Aaron clears his throat, almost choking on the laugh he swallows down, before he nods, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

“I wouldn’t dare, sweetheart.”

-x-

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[imagineauplots]

Wednesday!au what if...

What if there is a nother set of murderous outcast family at Nevermore?

Let me introduce you to the Fowley's family

The Fowley family has been around for hundreds and thousands of years, notorious amongst the outcasts for their wealth, powers and strength. Despite being a member of the higher broad of Nevermore and one of the biggest sponsors of the school, the Fowley has never sent their children to the school as they loath the history of the land.

Only few people know how their wealth stays around for generations after generation, though there are numerous speculation about it, one of which is them involving in multiple dirty businesses with the mafia.

It's not difficult to find a Fowley in the crowd. The family is blessed (some even say cursed) with their unique golden eyes.

Melvin Fowley

The patriach of the house. The cold-hearted man of many mysteries. One thing that is sure about Melvin is his cruelty. Rumors has it that he murdered his own brother and father to inherit the family dynasty.

It's hard to say of he loves his children or not though it's clear that the man will never win any "best-father-of-the-year" award. He is notorious in his circle for his harsh punishments on his children.

After the death of his wife, Leanne, Melvin refused to remarry.

Elliot Fowley

Melvin's oldest son and also the rightful heir to his dynasty, which also means he has received some of his father's horrendous punishment.

Melvin is determined to trained Elliot young but also paranoid that he might one-day die at the hand of his son as history might repeat itself.

Elliot is notorious amongst his peers for having no mercy what so ever towards his opponents, his cruelty and his temper. Elliot blames his father for his mother's death and therefore despites the man as a result.

Elliot relationship with the rest of his siblings are tumultuous to say the least, though it is safe to say that they care for each other.

Elliot was born with the ability to produce and control fire. His power could be incredibly destructive when his emotion is high and once it got lose there is no way back from there.

Viego Fowley

The second oldest, Melvin's son with his long time mistress Beatrice Green. After Viego being born, Melvin locked Beatrice in a mental hospital in Italia and kept her there till a fire wrecked the hospital and killed Beatrice in the process.

Growing up, Viego is the forgotten child in the family and experienced neglect from his father. He somewhat built a relationship with the the twins as they also experience the lost of their mother at a young age.

Viego is a mystery, though he refuses to have anything to do with his father's business, instead started his career as a scholar, it's clear as day that he is not someone to mess with.

Viego power is certainly a booster for his career as the man can summon, control and manipulate plants and vegetation.

Aluvia Fowley

The only Fowley girl for the last century and the older half of the Fowley twins.

Aluvia looks so much like her ancestor, the last Fowley woman, Meriette Fowley, that she appears almost identical to Meriette's portrait.

Aluvia inherits the distrustful and paranoid nature from her father, though not as serious. She masters the act of a helpless innocent little girl, which she uses quite often to get what she wants. In all truthfulness, Aluvia is calculative and would stop at nothing to gain what she deems herself deserves.

Aluvia share a set of skills with her brother (both are teleporter and telekinesis) Aluvia get her way with mind magic, another similarity between her and her ancestor.

Aidan Fowley

The youngest of the family. He is about half an hour younger than Aluvia.

Though he was considered the younger brother, Aidan makes it his responsibility to be Aluvia's protector besides partner in crime.

Aidan shows himself to be scarily intelligent, fiercely independent and incredibly prideful. He also isn't fazed from neither his father or from Elliot. After the death of Leanne, Aidan started developing hatred for his father.

Despite being impulsive from time to time, Aidan proves himself to be a ruthless and efficient killer, who enjoys killing to a certain extent

Aside from the power that he shares with his twin sister, Aidan is also a shape shifter, something that he inherits directly from his mother's line.

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Chapter Five: Paris Revealed (Stories/Memories)

Prev

AO3

Marinette flinches back as the room erupts in shouting. The younger boy, who was definitely younger than her and yet almost (if not definitely) taller than her, was fiercely glaring while he screamed at Mr. Wayne in….was that Arabic? The man that walked in with him was waving around the knife in his hand while Dick yelled at Mr. Wayne, his face filled with confusion instead of fury. Glancing around for a way out, Marinette makes eye contact with Alfred who nods behind him. Sneaking away from the group of angry men, Marinette follows Alfred into the kitchen and instantly feels at home. And much calmer.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles, breathing deeply to avoid spiraling again. Alfred simply hands her a cookie before turning around and putting water in a kettle.

“There is no need to apologize, Miss Marinette. It seems Master Bruce has forgotten all sense today and is instead insistent on acting like a fool. It was wrong of him to announce you like that, without preparing you or the boys beforehand. I do hope that his atrocious display of proper manners doesn’t make you want to leave.” Alfred says, and Marinette’s eyebrows shoot upwards. Was he? Was Alfred actually blaming this situation on Mr. Wayne? Was it Mr. Wayne’s fault? Did he not actually hate her? Did he just make a mistake?

“I- what?” Marinette says, unsure of herself.

“You, my dear, are not at fault. Your father didn’t tell any of his sons that you were coming to the manor today, or that you existed in general. And judging by your face, you weren’t prepared for the boys to be here either.” Alfred clarifies.

“Oh. No, I wasn’t. Mr. Wayne just said that he wanted to get to know me, and he knew I wanted to get to know him. I- my birth mother passed away. But my Maman knew her, so I can find out from her how I’m similar to Bridgette. But neither of my parents knew Mr. Wayne, and I just wanted to know if I was like him, I guess. I didn’t even know who he was until two days ago.” Marinette admits.

“As in you found out Bruce Wayne was your birth father two days ago or-” Alfred trails off, waiting for her to clarify.

“Oh no. I found out the name of my birth father awhile ago. It’s just- I really don’t pay attention to celebrities. The only ones I really know are designers. So I didn’t put two and two together, and I didn’t even know about Bruce Wayne and Wayne Enterprises until a few days ago. My friend Adrien made me google him and that’s when I found out about...the boys.” She says, stopping herself from saying her brothers as she was still unsure if Mr. Wayne actually wanted her like he wanted the others.

“Well I’m certain that things will start to calm down shortly. In the meantime, would you care for some tea?” Alfred asks, holding up the kettle. Marinette nods gratefully, trying hard to stop her inner spiral from drowning her.

---

“What do you mean daughter?” Damian snarls, finally switching to English. Bruce blinks at the boy before sighing.

“I mean, you have a biological sister.” He says, tired and wishing he had been able to convince Marinette to go somewhere else. Not that he didn’t want her to meet her siblings. But it definitely wasn’t the laid back first meeting that he wanted.

“You mean half-sister.” Damian spits out, crossing his arms and sticking his nose into the air.

“Shut up, Demon Spawn. She’s our sister, get over it. Where’d the kid come from? Her mom drop her off?” Jason asks, obviously trying to actually understand the situation.

“No. I first met her at the Museum and had my suspicions. She’s in Gotham on a class trip, and before you ask, yes. We had a DNA test done and yes, I am her father.” Bruce says, frowning when he sees Dick’s hurt expression morph into one of excitement.

“Wait, wait, wait! Was she the girl who was sassing the Joker?” He asks quietly, practically buzzing with excitement. When Bruce nods, Dick cheers and runs from the room. Okay then.

“Wait, she met the Joker?” Jason asks, his expression turning dark. Bruce watches his son’s face morph into one of disgust when he puts it together. “She’s the French kid he had at gunpoint, isn’t she?”

“Yes. Which is one of the reasons why we both thought the manor would be a more appropriate meeting place rather than somewhere public.” Bruce says, sighing as Damian once again starts screaming. This was not what he had planned.

---

After just a few minutes with Alfred, Marinette already felt calmer. Calm enough to giggle at another story about something that one of the boys- one of her brothers- did. Calm enough to let her guard down. And mess up.

“If you wanna see something ridiculous, you should look up the 26th time Monsieur Ramier was akumatized into Monsieur Pigeon. He made all the buildings turn into bird cages and all the food turned into bird seed. Luckily it didn’t last long, but seeing the Mayor of Paris stuck inside a giant bird cage was kind of hilarious.” Marinette rambles, giggling at the memory. It was definitely a needed akuma, situated right between two super destructive akumas. Monsieur Pigeon was, while a nuisance, always a breath of fresh air. His akumatized form was brought on by his fierce protectiveness of the pigeons, which luckily never led to death for civilians.

“Pardon me, Miss Marinette, but could I ask what you mean by ‘akumatized’?” Alfred asks, his posture suddenly stiff. Marinette’s eyes widen as she realizes what she just did. She told someone outside of Paris about the situation happening in Paris. Well crap. Normal Parisians didn’t know about the media block that she had set up with the help of the Mayor and Max. But after her calls to the Justice League were ignored, and she realized how disastrous it would be for a member of the League to be akumatized, the media block was the best choice. Time to act clueless.

“Akumatized, as in, a person is possessed by an akuma? Surely you’ve heard of it. It’s been happening in Paris for almost two years.” She says, hoping he doesn’t ask to see any evidence. This isn’t good, this is awful, this-

“And what is an akuma?” Alfred asks. Okay, this isn’t too bad.

“It’s an evil butterfly sent out by the villain, Hawkmoth.” Marinette says, giving out more information than she’s really comfortable with. Okay, time to change the subject, no more questions about heroes or villains or-

“Marinette!” A new voice calls, sliding into the kitchen, almost immediately falling over.

“Master Dick, have you forgotten about your ban on the kitchen?” Alfred asks, his lips quirking up in amusement.

“Awww, Alfred, I just wanted to talk to Marinette. I feel bad for all of us overwhelming her back there.” Dick says with a pout that somehow doesn’t look ridiculous on him. Despite obviously being at least ten years older than her.

“Don’t feel bad. It was just...a lot all at once.” Marinette says with a small smile.

“So I have to ask, are you the one who sassed the Joker at the Museum the other day?” He asks, a wide grin on his face as he sits on one of the stools. Marinette’s eyes widen and she blinks. How?

“Oh, uh, yeah, I guess. It wasn’t a big deal though. He thought I was a Wayne- well, I guess he figured it out before I did- but I think he just wanted to scare my class.” She says, waving her hand to brush off the topic. She really didn’t want to talk about the Joker. Because she was sure it would turn into-

“I apologize for asking, but have you been caught up in the villain attacks in Paris before?” Alfred asks, Marinette instantly panicking. Sure, she’d been caught up in almost every single akuma battle as Ladybug. But there were a few on record where she was targeted as Marinette, and even a few battles that she assisted as Marinette. And then there was Kwami Buster…

“Well, a few. But basically everyone in Paris has dealt with it at some point. That’s just what happens when there’s an attack so often, you know? And my school seems to be a hotspot but that makes sense because teenagers are full of negative emotions and-” Marinette cuts off her rambling, cursing herself on the inside. Great job, Mari. Now they’re going to be worried or they’re going to think you’re a freak or-

“What do you mean negative emotions? Why would that matter?” Dick asks, his previous cheerful smile replaced with a look that clearly meant business.

“That’s how the villain chooses his targets. Negative emotion. If someone is having a bad enough day, he can take control of them and give them powers and basically destroy the city trying to get to Ladybug and Chat Noir, who are our heroes. I only know what’s been posted on official sites like the Ladyblog or miraculousparis.org.” Marinette says, smiling apologetically and hoping that this conversation can be over.

“Have you ever been akumatized?” Dick asks, tension suddenly filling the room.

“No, thankfully. I’ve found ways to manage my negative emotions so that they can’t take me over. I don’t blame anyone who has been akumatized, it’s hard not to be. But, I also don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself if I was akumatized.” Because then her family would be a target. Because Hawkmoth would know her identity. And if Hawkmoth’s insistence on her being akumatized was anything to go on, she’d be a devastating akuma. And if Ladybug wasn’t fighting in the battle….would the cure even work?

“That is a lot of pressure, Miss Marinette.” Alfred says softly after a moment of tense silence. Marinette grins brightly.

“I can handle it, don’t worry!” She says, hoping no one can tell how hard it actually is. How hard it is constantly being strong. Never truly feeling a negative emotion.

---

Bruce winces at the faux cheerfulness in his daughter’s voice. He had only found out about the Paris situation a few days ago, but he was determined to fix it. Find a solution. Do something to help the city and by extension, his daughter. She’d be going back there soon. Back to a city that was being held hostage by an emotional terrorist. Bruce would fix this. He had to.

Next

Tag list: @maribat-bdbwm @vixen-uchiha @stainedglassm @liquid-luck-00 @jayjayspixiepop @jjmjjktth @mizzy-pop @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @waiting247 @laurcad123 @toodaloo-kangaroo @ritacrow-blog @deathssilentapproach-blog @kittenmywaythrulife @imarivers8 @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks 

[percydarling]

Fred Lives (But does he really?)

Chapter 2 : Shock

His family look at him, expecting a reply since he was seen last with Percy.

He can't say it. He can't.

So what comes out of his mouth is " I'm so sorry."

That's when their expressions change, when they realise what it means, what he's trying to convey to them.

His mum grabs him and shakes him, refusing to believe.

"NO,NO,NO,NO,NO,no,no,no,no"

She repeats it again and again, louder at first unless it slows down to mumbling as if she's trying to convince herself that it isn't true.

Dad almost falls down, but Bill catches him and Dad grips Bill so hard as if afraid that Bill would die too. Bill isn't any better, his face is pale as if he can't believe it either.

Fred can't even look at George and Ginny, he can't even meet his Mum's eyes as he bows down his head.

It's even worse when they see the body.

Mum notices first, it really isn't difficult to, the bright Weasley red hair sticks out among the browns and the blacks. Fred didn't even know that there were people carrying bodies. There shouldn't be so many bodies.

Mum lets out a bloodcurdling scream, that has everyone in the Hall shocked, as she races to Percy. Harry jumps startled and even Fred loses his footing and almost falls but George catches him.

Mum's scream was so deafening, there was a silence in the Hall as everyone stood as still as a statue, and stared at her with pity. It sent chills down Fred's spine over how the scream was full of grief and shock. It scared him to hear mum like that.

Dad goes after his wife, attempting to comfort her but a mother's grief no bounds. Mum has lost her brothers to the First War and now a son to the Second. There is no comfort that Dad could ever offer.

Fred feels guilty, he's only thinking about Mum and not Dad. He has no clue as to what Dad's feeling at the moment. He doesn't think he ought to even ask.

Bill breathes heavily before following them, his eyes still in shock and head down. Fred thinks Bill might feel responsible for it ( eventhough Bill ought not to. He wasn't there) Being the eldest is a bane and a boon, and right now it's the former.

Bill holds Percy in his arms. Fred watches. Bill might have been there to hold Percy when he was born and now he's holding him when he's dead. Irony is a funny thing.

The younger four go together to his body, Ron and Ginny hold hands and George holds his. Fred doesn't know what he would do without George. Probably crash and burn to the ground.

Fred can't meet any of his family memebers' eyes. He can't. It's just too hard.

Hermione and Harry linger behind them as they sit around Percy. Harry was probably going to blame himself. Fred's really tired of everyone blaming themselves for something they couldn't control.

Percy's still dead. Fred thought he might wake up. Maybe some Weasley magic or something but he's still dead.

Fred was there, he saw it happen, he saw Percy die but even then he can't believe it. It's just impossible to think of a Weasley dying. Dad and Bill survived, why does Percy die?

"It's not fair", Ginny mutters as she runs her hand in Percy's curls.

Ginny shouldn't be here to see this. He knows she grew up. He knows she's strong and fierce and lovely. But he also knows that Ginny is young. Maybe not innocent, but she's young.

And the young don't deserve this. They don't deserve the fear and the loss. They deserve better.

Fred failed to deliver to Ginny. He failed to do better. She was never innocent, but now she's not young either.

He agrees with her, it's not fair. But a little part of him is glad that Percy died and not him. It wasn't like that it changed the family as much.

Percy wasn't around for the last 3 years. He wasn't there when Dad almost died or when Bill got the scars. He wasn't there.

Fred was. Not Percy.

Those thoughts make Fred feel horrible but he knows that deep down he and probably other family members know it's true.

George squeezes Fred's hand as he looks at his dead brother.

Mum is still clutching and has Percy's head on his lap as she caressed his face, which has no life. Dad holds Percy's hand, something he should have done when he was alive and not lying dead on the floor.

Bill holds Percy's other hand, rubbing it across him as if trying to make it alive again and give some of his life to him.

"WHERES MY FAMILY"

A holler echoes through the hall.

There's no mistaking the voice. Despite not hearing it in a while, he cannot misremember the voice.

It was Charlie.

Charlie doesn't know.

Fred doesn't know how to go through that ordeal again. He can't tell Charlie. He doesn't want to move from Percy's side either. He's paralyzed in this position.

Ron, his eyes tired and scars on his body. He looks at Percy as if he was a stranger. Fred knows Ron cares. Of course he bloody does. But there is no emotion, no tear, no anger. Ron just stares at Percy. It makes Fred question whether Ron, who wears his emotions on his sleeves, is sad or not.

Ron stands.

Ron (the bravest of them all) calls out to Charlie and then there's this big toothy grin on Charlie's face which... which would be wiped out very soon.

Every slow step Charlie takes, causes Fred to get anxious. He just wants it over and done with. Maybe it's an awful thing to want but he just wants this over with.

"Finally I found you lot, what-"

That's when he notices Percy.

"PERCY"

It's another scream, another grief that won't be healed as fast as we want it to.

Bill holds Charlie as he sobs. Two elder brothers crying for the younger one. They'll probably share the blame.

Charlie doesn't cry. Fred had never seen Charlie cry, even in the worst of situations. Charlie gets a pass because of the circumstances.

Seeing Charlie sob over Percy is even worse because Charlie wasn't present when Percy apologised, he didn't hear his brother's last words.

Charlie didn't even get a chance.

And it makes Fred heart break all the more.

------

Fred lives(bdhr?) - Part1

[hotchley]

sadness

Right, my laptop is at 12% and I need to cross-post to ao3 and go to sleep because I have one more mock tomorrow, so I’ll try and keep this one short.

My post earlier sparked this. I am now writing a series called “he blinks” which explores how Hotch feels each of the eight core emotions (and probably love, because I am nothing if not a sucker for Hotch and Haley.) Anyways... sadness is first. But it’s more like grief? So... it’s set after 100, and yeah :) There’s no dialogue, and I think this counts as introspection, but I don’t know...

I had more to say, but I can’t remember so... onwards! It’s relatively short, 1272 words, so I hope it’s okay. I’ve not touched most of my WIPs since whenever I last uploaded a fic, and it’s more just me rambling so yeah.. go with it

Trigger Warnings: death, grief, the slightest implication of child abuse (please let me know if I’ve missed anything, but I think this is it)

read on ao3!

Aaron Hotchner’s sadness is quiet.

That’s what Haley’s death teaches the BAU.

Penelope’s sadness is happiness that seems too loud, too much, too forced and perfect to be anything but a terrible attempt at masking something negative. 

JJ’s sadness is socially acceptable: she cries, she accepts the comfort, and then she stitches herself back together before anyone can wonder why one sentence wasn’t able to fix her.

Derek’s sadness is a fierce protectiveness over the people he loves most, because they are the thing that keeps him going and remind him of all the reasons to try his best to cope and move on and deal.

Spencer’s is an unusual thing, that is somehow vulnerable and closed-off in the same moment. He will shed his tears openly, sometimes not even realising that is what he is doing, but he recoils at the slightest glimmer of support.

Emily’s is hidden behind stupid jokes that can’t even raise the corners of her mouth and stories from a childhood that she still can’t quite wrap her head around serve as a coping mechanism, because if she cannot go back to that blissful ignorance then she will remind herself it exists.

Dave’s is an explosive thing that showcases itself as anger and a closed office door. The team always knows when he’s sad. He won’t accept comfort from anyone in the moment, but an unspoken apology is given to everyone in the form of a meal when he’s thinking rationally.

But Aaron’s sadness is quiet and unsuspecting.

The team had never realised that. They’d never been allowed to. 

When Dave recruited him to the team, he was too busy keeping him alive to realise how quiet Aaron could be. 

When Derek joined, Aaron was too busy with keeping him in check and making sure he was safe. 

And when Reid, Garcia and JJ joined, only a few months between each of them, Hotch had been forced to take the reins from Gideon and would not let anyone see him break.

Emily accused him of not being human enough, despite remembering the boy that had worked for her mother and hadn’t quite learnt how to hide the flinch that was reflexive with every slam of a door, and who wore his heart on his sleeve without even realising, so she never saw him break. Until Foyet.

His sadness crept up on them.

They would go hours, sometimes even days, convinced that he was fine. That he was coping, and moving forward, and okay. It was stupid and wishful thinking, they knew that, but they also believed that Hotch was perfect and invincible. 

Reid thought he never blinked. JJ still remembers how he never seemed to lose it.

They would assume he was fine.

And then he wouldn’t smile at something. Or he would, but it would be a shadow of his usual joy and childish excitement. Or it wouldn’t quite reach his eyes, which would remain just as hollow and unfocused and dull as the day of the funeral. Or it would seem to cause him pain to even try.

He would suddenly shove his hands in his pockets. As though he could still feel the blood of Foyet, mixed with his own because Foyet was not and never had been weak, tainting it, despite all the care Derek applied when he wiped them clean. As though he was still in that house, terrified his son would hate him for taking his mother away. As though he couldn’t look at them without seeing the monster he had always known he would eventually become.

Or his voice would soften, just a little too much. His tone would change completely, and the person he was talking to would feel like a child going to the one person that always made them feel safe and seeing someone that could only try to be that good instead. His words would become quieter. Less concise. More calculated. Like he was walking the line between control and destruction.

There would be hesitation. Hotch’s confidence was often a facade, but it was a facade so strong that it even convinced profilers. Morgan had hated it when he first joined, scared his new boss was going to be someone that would stand up and play devil's advocate, but then he had realised the truth: he was just scared of being undermined. Reid had admired it then, and he admired it now. 

He would hesitate, and it would remind them of everything he had lost. He would hesitate with his gun, and Morgan would panic because they had lost Gideon to the job, they couldn’t lose him too. He would hesitate with his pen, and Reid would frown, because Hotch’s reports were used for the trainees as perfect examples, and every word that he wrote himself was modelled after the reports from Hotch he had read after starting.

He would hesitate to touch his son and JJ would weep inside because she knew what it was like to be a child and to have a parent that wasn’t quite whole, knowing that there was nothing you could do to fix the situation because you weren’t the person they wanted.

There would be a slight clearing of his throat before he addressed the team about a case involving mothers, women, children, blondes. He would turn away, and one hand would quickly and furiously wipe at his eyes, before he turned back and acted like he was made of steel.

They would all see him reach for his phone on the harder cases, then freeze and place his hand elsewhere like his pocket was burning him. Dave, Derek, and even JJ would try and mention it, but Aaron always acted like he had no idea what they were talking about. Spencer and Penelope can’t even try and ask how he is before he starts distracting them with some random knowledge about their interests.

Neither genius is oblivious to what he was trying to do. They pretend to be for his sake.

Aaron’s sadness is not the explosion of grief the shows and movies had taught them to prepare for. It is not the beautiful road to healing the poems had caused them to hope for. It is not the simple and painless, cured by a single sleep event the books always make it out to be.

Aaron’s sadness is tired eyes, dark circles, shaking hands. It is sobs stifled at the most random and unplanned time. It is blank stares during conversations and it is slight smiles that expose his brain as being a million miles away. It is the sight of his left hand with a tan line where the ring had been removed two years ago.

It is the team, the family that wants nothing more to fix everything and make him better, having no idea what they are meant to do to help the man that has always held them and cradled them and protected them. It is them feeling like they have made a mistake with every unanswered text. It is the bitter acceptance that all they can do is hold him together until he is ready to take the first step.

It is Aaron Hotchner, not even knowing what he needs anymore and being too afraid to ask for words of assurance and love. It is Aaron Hotchner wearing his wedding ring to feel like a piece of Haley is still real and alive. It is Aaron Hotchner feeling lost and angry and numb and bitter and relieved all at once.

It is all of this. And yet somehow, it is still quiet.

[animeyanderelover]

Hii I just want ask can Kanae von Rosenvald and Shuu tsukiyama share Darling?

I was kind of waiting for this the moment I wrote Hc’s for her. And now here it is😏.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, protective behavior, manipulation, mentioning of Shuu’s past sadism, clinginess, kidnapping, killing

Shuu and Kanae sharing a darling

🍷🌹Certainly a theatrical duo to have, both having a propensity to act like life with their darling is a drama and even the smallest insignificant looking thing will cause something terrible to happen, be that because their love pays attention to someone else or because they're upset with them. Both are just totally ready to do anything to make their darling content and happy with their life they will now live, so the s/o should be prepared for quite the pampering session for forever from now on.

🍷🌹It didn't use to be always that way, at least not until Shuu kidnapped his darling, introducing them like this to his whole family including Kanae herself. Everyone knew probably already from you, Shuu having looked lately always in such a dreamy and lovesick mood with the small smile on his face. So of course everyone was curious to meet the peron who was Shu's little lover and whilst it was a small shock to discover that you were human, not all of them were bad and you actually looked pretty shaken and scared, terrified of the man who had brought you here and all the new faces, all of them ghouls.

🍷🌹And Kanae is at first envious because she used to be in love too with Shuu, but was never able to tell him since he was a servant of the Tsukiyama family and had to pretend to be a man, all to fulfill the last wish of her deceased family. All Kanae wants is still the happiness of her master and despite being iffy of you, obvious for everyone in the household, she decides that as long as you do not harm him nor pose a threat to him, she will not go against you. How could she when Shuu always rambles so excitingly about how lovely you are, a truly endearing being. It hurts to see him, the person she admires and loves, being so utterly enamored with someone else. But she is also...happy. Happy that he has gotten over Kaneki, only focusing on you now and living his life to it's fullest again.

🍷🌹The rest of the servants is also happy and since their master loves you, they do too and protect and care for you. Human or not, all of them kind of develop a bit of Shuu's obsession and protect you fiercely and are proud for you to be part of the Tsukiyama family from now on. But there is one problem that is discussed quite often under the servants which would be Shuu's two-faced behavior. It can not be kept for very long a secret, not with Mirumo being there and curious about his future in-law. Because the moment the darling tells him what they have gone all through, this man might really just grab his son and beat his ass, finding this kind of behavior unacceptable. What was he thinking? He thought he raised him better like this.

🍷🌹Kanae has a hard time believing her master would do something like this. She does know that he used to play with humans and treat them like things to entertain him and the audience. But he would never treat the person he is clearly that deeply in love like this. This truth is hard to accept for everyone, some feeling a bit disappointed in Shuu and some, like Kanae, in pure denial. It pushes her as fast as talking with you about it, wanting to know from the victim and she feels quite dreadful when you show her some of your scars from old bite wounds and tell her what he did.

🍷🌹She cries, not only because she simply doesn't want to believe it, but also because she feels terrible for you. By now she as well has gotten infected with Shuu's obsession and for that cares greatly for you. And she tries afterwards to console you that from now on everything will be better, that Shuu didn't mean to be this way and that with his father now in the picture, he will change. She manages to believe this, knowing what kind of man Mirumo is and also being sure that Shuu is not really that kind of person you saw him as. There is still this slight sadness in her, feeling upset that Tsukiyama would treat someone as gorgeous as you so terribly and she feels angry and disappointed in herself for this.

🍷🌹But she doesn't lie either, it indeed becomes better, Mirumo keeping his son under control with an iron fist and he can be scray if he wants to be, especially since it is involving you, his future-in-law and Shuu's darling. The servants worry a bit for their master, knowing how harsh his father can be, but he is still the head of this family and everyone dearly respects him, so they can not do anything against him. Afterwards Shuu is a changed man, crying because he treated his darling so poorly and begging for forgiveness in all forms he can think off, kisses, physical affection, gifts, you name it.

🍷🌹It wouldn't be really surprising when his darling still keeps their defenses up around him, the scars on their body and mind never being able to heal fully. It discomposes Shuu in the worst ways and this is visible for all the people in the household. His father feels bad for the current shape his son is in as well, but he also is not really surprised and Shuu shouldn't either, he messed up in his past. But he has changed now, this is what the servants see and for that they help him to gain the trust of his darling back, this includes Kanae. The girl is determined to make her master happy and if she has to sacrifice her own happiness for this, then so be it. If her master is happy with you, she is as well and if her master loves you, she will as well and defend you with her life.

🍷🌹She grows over time pretty close to you, becoming the servant you are best friends with. All her negative emotions and feelings for you are gone, being replaced by something sickenly sweet and she entrusts you her secret of her being a woman, something she kept secret for a long time. It is such a relief that she was able to tell it to someone, and it is even better since that person is you. And she loves to do things for you and she gets a bit jealous if other sevants do something for you, even though she keeps quiet. From all people she shares the most similarities with Shuu and so her behavior just reminds you of him, the dramatic acting, the tantrums when you hurt yourself or are upset, the other will do give you anything you might desire and the strong jealousy.

🍷🌹She doesn't even realizes at first her romantic feelings, she thought she adored you in another sense. It isn't until she starts wondering how it would be to kiss you and hear you saying you love her and this terrible moment where she feels the smallest pang of jealousy when seeing Shuu being happy with you. It is such a major shock and she is distraught afterwards, ashamed of herself for letting this happen in the first place when you are clearly Shuu's darling. She is unhappy and it is all too obvious that something is wrong with her. Because in one moment she has a content smile on her face and in the next one she is pulling her hair and mutters to stop this, looking like she committed just a terrible crime. She did in her opinion.

🍷🌹And she can not bear to lie to Shuu or you which is why she confesses after a while of battling what to do, asking for forgiveness for letting something like this happen. She betrayed her master and you, seeing herself as a burden for your relationship. It is confusing and surprising as well as shocking for you as well as it is for Shuu. But different from you who tries to comfort her because she is really crushed because of this, he feels a bit clueless and conflicted about what to do. He cares for Kanae, he sees her as family and appreciates her for being always there for his darling. He can not hate her for this, she is family for him and he knew her since he was younger. If it would have been anyone else, he would have slaughtered them. But this is Kanae he's talking about and for that he has some sort of brain freeze, not really knowing how to react to this.

🍷🌹Shuu can not help being more dubious about her afterwards despite not wanting to be that way and neither of you three really knows what to do. So there is a certain awkwardness afterwards and once again Mirumo is the one lending a helping hand, probably because Kanae also told him about this and that she feels like she just ruined everything. It is a bit of a surprise of him as well to know that one of the servants has fallen for his son's love as well, even though you and her were so close that it should have been expected that she might gain feelings for you one day as well. He forces all three of you to talk about this because just being awkward silently will not work for too long and for the biggest part he just listens, giving a few advices here and there. This is something you should solve among yourselves.

🍷🌹For the servants it wouldn't be that surprising to find out that Kanae is in love with Shuu's darling, she looked so happy whenever being near you so it was already rumored. However, the announcement shortly after Kanae's confession leaves them a bit dumbfounded. Who wouldn't when hearing that Shuu actually allowed her to express her more romantic feelings to you? It is a bit odd, even more since she is still your servant since your status as Shuu's darling puts you still higher than her. Yet she still is free to be more romantically with you.

🍷🌹With Shuu still not being sure how to feel after all of this despite having agreed to this option and Kanae being relieved, joyful and guilty at the same time at the beginning it is still a bit tricky. Kanae is determined to still be a good servant for you, a very devoted one and knowing how she feels about you it makes you uncomfortable that she still treats you like you're higher. But if you point it out to her, she just tells you that she wants to do this since you are still her master's darling. She finds it a bit difficult to act less formal around you at the beginning, still bowing and adressing you as her 'master'. With time and help from you, Shuu and even the other servants she manages to loosen up a bit, even though she still never can fully abandon that behavior.

🍷🌹Technically Shuu has the advantage since he is Kanae's master and can demand her when he wants to spend time with you and he kind of does this from time to time since he is clingily-possessive and a major simp for you, he could be glued to your side the whole day without minding it too much. Kanae, despite being needy herself, respects that since she always keeps in mind that you were Shuu's darling at first. But Shuu is still lenient since he watches a bit out for her so he efforts that he can stay a certain amount of time away where Kanae gets her time. And she is a hopeless romantic, she takes her darling on small picnics and other sappy things, matchingly rivalved with the things Shuu does with his darling.

🍷🌹Kanae still differs because she is less paranoid than Shuu is, she doesn't really isolate her darling like Shuu does. He thinks him, his father, Kanae and all the other servants should be more than enough contact for you just as much as the manor he keeps you in. You have all you need here and he despises the idea of letting you out, mainly because even the mere thought of exposing you to other creatures besides the persons living inside this manor makes him already jealous enough. He hates it. Kanae, sharing a similar amount of jealousy, still outs your happiness in the first place and is less possessive than her master is which is why she would take her darling out. Mirumo can talk Shuu into doing so as well, but he will be a clingy man the whole time, glaring at everyone else whilst smothering you in public to make other people aware of your relationship. This is what Kanae tends to do as well.

🍷🌹Still, Kanae is less dangerous for others than Shuu is because he is trigger-happy and kills out of jealousy, very easily and will happily unleash his sadistic behavior whilst doing so. Kanae mostly only threatens people she sees as danger for you, her master, his relationship with you and also her relationship with you, even though she puts her master still above her own happiness.

🍷🌹Both of them actually push the other quite a bit, even though only indirectly and without meaning to be harmful. It is just that both are wonderfully when it comes to being dramatic and all too sappy and romantic with their darling as well as clingy. So if they catch their darling with the other one doing something cute, they get jealous. Not like they will interrupt, but it stays in their mind and the next time they see them, they latch on the s/o a bit more than normally and want to do something else with them. It is not a too terrible thing, they also prepare surprises for their darling together and absolutely team up when someone messed and/or hurt you. In that case it is not only those two, the whole household will gladly help if someone really dares to hurt you.

[well-in-all-honesty-i]

TW: Suicide

OKAY SO- I wanted to talk about Mafuyu and Yuki’s relationship and why it ended the way it did. I should preface this by saying that the majority of this, although somewhat supported by canon, is my own personal headcanon and speculation. I’ve been surrounded by a lot of people who I believe Yuki to be similar to, but I am not 100% accurate or well versed and this is mostly just from what I’ve gotten from those situations. Also, a lot of questionable grammar-I type like I speak, which doesn't translate well haha.

So I want to chunk this into 3 big pieces because I enjoy organizing things: Yuki’s childhood, how that affected his personality as a young adult, and how both of these lead to his eventual death.

Starting off with his childhood:

This one is heavy speculation (as most of this is-but this bit is particularly so) since there isn’t much canon to support this-or provide a lot of insight. But, what little we do know is that 1) Yuki’s father wasn’t present in his life-probably even before Mafuyu’s father had been jailed-and that, 2) Yuki and his father shared the same bull-headedness (?) and pride that Saeko believes led to his death.

I personally believe that Yuki’s father was someone who might have struggled with some sort of mental illness, as well as has had a problem with alcohol abuse. I also imagine that he probably disappeared or passed-either due to some sort of alcohol-related problem or suicide.

Saeko, from how she is characterized in the story, seems to be a very strong-willed and assertive person. In the aftermath of Yuki’s death, she's relatively composed and seems to have almost expected this to happen, although maybe not in the specific way it did. [Ex: When she tells Mafuyu that Yuki was always the type of person to die in a chicken race (a competition of pride, of sorts, that usually ends badly) and when she mentions him being similar to his father in that sense.]

In the flashbacks in the anime, when Mafuyu tells Yuki that his father beats him when he talks, Yuki’s response of ‘You know, a real father doesn’t do that.’ doesn’t sound like something a small child’s first response would be. It’s a bit of a reach-but considering that, as well as how prompt the response from his mother seemed to be (when Mafuyu’s father was jailed-not much time seems to have passed, and since both of their mothers are present, I've always assumed that Yuki's mother found out through her son and acted accordingly.),- it would make sense that Yuki might have some prior experience with this. Especially if his mother had gone through something similar-she probably would’ve warned him very strongly against the ideal his father had set, making Yuki want to be very far from that.

Speaking of which-I assume that Yuki probably had a very rough-if short-lived-relationship with his father when he was around. Given the stuff above, his father was probably someone who was emotionally volatile and tended to lose control when upset. If he had an alcohol problem, he might’ve caused a financial strain that fell onto Saeko as well.

Since his father was out of the picture and Saeko herself wasn't around as much as Yuki might've needed, it would have made him both very independent from his parents and adults in general, while also heavily reliant on Mafuyu (Hiiragi quotes both Mafuyu and Yuki to have been latchkey kids who found comfort in each other), both of which twist into the situation he found himself in later in life.

Leading into his teen years:

Yuki, as a young adult, is very independent-he works multiple jobs to pay for the expenses of being in a band, makes a point to avoid drinking, and is very affectionate towards Mafuyu. I'm not too sure about the reasoning behind why the four friends chose the high schools they did, but if Yuki's mother didn't directly influence that decision it's likely it was a choice made in direct relation to their band.

There's also very little interference from any adults in Yuki's life-namely, his mother. As someone who was probably very busy working as a single mother to support the two of them, her mentality was just to support him monetarily and let Mafuyu provide the emotional support in her place.

I think she also assumed her attempts wouldn't have been well received-most people noted how close Yuki and Mafuyu were and seemed to always assume that they had each other handled and that nobody had to worry about either of them because of it. In every way, it was simply easier to show Yuki she cared by not interfering and letting him hold the reigns of his own life.

A big indicator of this idea for me what when Saeko talked about how Yuki ordered his own ramen, the type he liked. It's a small thing, but it started me to read because it highlighted the amount of input his mother had on his life; which was very little. I don't know if he even used her money or chose to use the extra from his jobs to pay for it, but either way, it sort of put their relationship into perspective.

The impact it had:

Yuki probably had a lot of resentment towards his father, or, at the very least, a desire to turn out different. And oftentimes when a person is very strongly trying to avoid turning out like someone, they ignore or avoid acknowledging the similarities, rather than accepting and working on them to properly change. Without a strong parental/adult figure in his life, he wouldn't have considered insight beyond his own experiences. He's characterized to be moody and domineering, and Mafuyu is too soft-spoken to have brought up most issues until it reached its boiling point.

I believe Yuki might have had Borderline Personality Disorder to a mild extent. Some symptoms of BPD are mood swings, impulsivity, impaired social relationships, and a distorted self-image. They usually have thoughts of suicide or self-harming tendencies. When they feel insecure in relationships, in which they’re usually very, very invested, they tend to lash out or do rash things to keep them close.

Based on my relationships with the borderline people in my life, I've noticed that they usually bounce between having great confidence in themselves, to being incredibly insecure. It's hard to explain specifically, but they walk a fine line of being insecure and also maintaining a painfully strong ego, which makes them react very strongly when provoked, intentionally or not. Yuki and Mafuyu have a different type of relationship than I do with those people in my life which, for the two of them, means that Mafuyu probably had to provide lots of emotional support for Yuki, while also under the mild threat of Yuki coming to harm by his own actions.

Being with someone with these tendencies who is also unaware of them is very draining, especially for someone as mild and soft-spoken as Mafuyu is. Yuki tended to lead their relationship and was probably very noticeable when upset-and for someone who might not be used to speaking up or someone who has low self-confidence, it is difficult to bring up things. It doesn't feel safe if you don't know exactly how it would be received. Especially if they are the person you are closest to, it can be anxiety-inducing to try and bring up problems that don't seem to be incredibly important or unavoidable.

So, long story short-Yuki was closed off to receiving any kind of proper advice or criticism that would've saved him. Another symptom of BPD, as mentioned before, is suicidal ideation. So, if all these things are combined, it's a lot easier to see how he, surrounded by only his thoughts and ideas, would make the choice to take his own life when provoked.

It wasn't specifically that Mafuyu had caused his death, but more that he just sent him over the edge he had been teetering on for a long while. He was like his father in the sense that they had the same flaws that just came from different places. Yuki's pride came from the flip side of his insecurities and his own early independence, and his mental health issues as a whole are probably hereditary. The specificities of his death, where Yuki drinks after avoiding alcohol for his entire life, feels like he failed in his effort to avoid being like his father. He was different as a person but in the end, their flaws aligned and brought them to their end in parallels to each other.

Calling back to what his mom said-it doesn't feel unexpected. It is shocking, but not a surprise. Yuki was fiercely independent and wanted to learn and do new things, all on his own-including his own death and whatever follows after.

[I wrote this a while back and didn’t really like how most of it was speculation and hard to prove-but decided to post it anyway because I spent too much time on it lol.

Like I said before, most of this is just my head canons, but I hope it made sense! Feel free to add on with your stuff/arguments/headcanons :)]

[valcalico]

Athena and Ares

(Just my thoughts on them and their relationship)

I have a lot of feelings about these two. They have a very complex dynamic, where they don’t really like each other, but they can’t work without each other either.

Athena provides rationality to the cruelty of war. She is the strategy and logic behind it. The objective. One might say she represents the generals, and the politicians and the main heroes. Basically the big players.

And Ares? He’s the opposite. He represents the emotion associated with war. He is the bloodlust and the desperate fight. Where the battle is thickest, where there is no room for thought, and when its pure survival instinct that drives you, that’s Ares. He represents the worst parts: the blood and the violence and the cruelty. He is accompanied by fear and terror (Phobos and Deimos). One might say he is the god of soldiers.

So they need each other. If they actually worked together, they’d be one of the dangerous forces ever, even in god circles. But they don’t. Not only because of how differently they view the world, but also because of deeper nuances in their relationship.

Athena is beloved. She is Zeus’ favourite child and his right hand goddess. The people love her. She is the patron of one of the most powerful, influential cities, Athens. She is highly respected everywhere else too. A protector of heroes and a friend to humanity.

Ares, on the other hand, is disliked by many. Zeus says he is “the most hateful of all gods” and says he would have thrown him into Tartarus if he wasn’t his and Hera’s son. (Its in the Iliad) (This part always makes me sad poor ares) He is highly respected in Thrace and Sparta. But Athens dislikes him and worships him out of necessity only.

Even in modern times, Athena is considered a feminist icon and badass lady, while Ares is labelled a brute.

Most people know this. So why did I just type out all that? Cause context is important when delving into the myths.

So first of all, let’s debunk that last point I made. In the ancient myths (and I’ll try not to include romans esp. Ovid), it didn’t work that way at all. Of course it’s important to keep in mind that ancient Greece was very misogynistic. But still, Athena was not feminist at all. Her being a “masculine” woman (mostly) was what made her so acceptable to Athens and she was regularly used to shut down other women. Also:

(The actual translation of this scene was circulated a while back. So you’re probably familiar with this. Also I’m not saying this to offend any worshippers of Athena or anyone who admires her. There are a lot of bad things in greek mythology and Athena’s internal and external misogyny is probably the least of my concerns. Plus if the greek gods did exist, i believe they change with the society, so they will no longer be Like That in the present day.)

Ares, on the other hand, was incredibly feminist, especially for that time. He surrounded himself with women he loved and respected. (Aphrodite, Eris, Enyo, etc). His lovers were often famously women who challenged the status quo (Otrera, Cyrene). He was regularly show to be a good father to all his daughters, immortal and mortal. (Harmonia, Hippolyta, Penthesilia, Alkippe). Also:

If that isn’t the coolest thing EVER-

Anyway, I won’t delve deep into that (well, any more than I’ve already rambled about it).

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, we can get to the hypotheticals.

I headcanon that despite ALL the evidence to the contrary, they maybe don’t despise each other completely. I see them having more of a love-hate relationship.

The thing is, gods are very contrary creatures. Zeus and Hera’s fights shake the world one moment, and in the next, they are as loving as any. Apollo is smiling and singing in one moment and skinning a satyr alive in the next. This complexity should be given this relationship too.

Like I said above, they need each other. Both general and soldier are equally important in war. And I don’t think you can completely truly need someone and hate their existence at the same time. (There are exceptions)

This scene in the Iliad really got me thinking:

If you take the scene at face value, this is probably not something to think too much about. Its Athena going to Ares, insulting him a bit, and taking him away from the war.

But its more than that. First off, Athena goes upto Ares and can calmly convince him to listen to her. Second, look how she frames the question. She says “shall we” which i think is pretty important. Athena doesn’t need to worry about Zeus’ anger or his rules, as she shows later on in the Iliad, and before, during the Rebellion. Both Athena and Ares knows this well. So why does she also need to withdraw? She can make the point without adding herself to the equation. She can also fairly easily run him off the battlefield like she does later. But she doesn’t. And there isnt any hostility from Ares.

Instead, they go together, away from the battlefield and...sit down near a river bank? Basically relax as much as they can? That doesn’t sound like a hateful relationship.

There is also the fact that Ares was going to join sides with the greeks (aka on Athena and Hera’s side) until Aphrodite convinced him to join her instead.

Its clear from this that Ares doesn’t really have much of a stake in this fight. He doesn’t care much about the greater objectives of the war. The only thing that can convince him to take a side is the people one the sides. He fights for the people he cares about, not for any greater good. He easily changes his loyalty because of his love for Aphrodite. He frequently gets into fights to save his children. He goes against Diomedes partly because of how he wounded Aphrodite. All of this means that he cares for Athena too. (And for Hera ofc). Maybe he doesn’t care for her as much as he cares for Aphrodite, but its not really fair to expect him to.

I like to think they genuinely do care for each other a great deal, they just kinda suck at showing it. Maybe that changes as time passes. I can see Athena being quietly protective of Ares (maybe she makes up an excuse to send him away during the Rebellion because she knows he will be in danger otherwise). I definitely think she felt a little guilt (guilt, not regret) at stabbing Ares, seeing as it wasn’t really fair. Ares didn’t know she was there.

I also think that Ares, who spends a lot of time with awesome women and is very fierce in standing up for them if the need arises, will be the one who calls her out a lot of the time on her misogyny or hypocrisy. Athena also has a habit of suppressing any “vulnerable” emotion. She likes to keep all her guilt, sadness, fear, hurt, and regret all locked up tight. I feel like Ares is one of the few people she lets a few of those emotions out around, even if she still tries not to. And in the lighter moments, in private, maybe they joke around a bit and laugh, too.

Okay, now for the heavier bit. While i do think they care for each other, there is also a lot of resentment there. A lot of it, unfortunately, comes from how they are treated by their peers and elders. They like different people, they are liked by different people and they are liked to different degrees. Let’s talk about 3 of the main players.

1) Zeus. Does this surprise you?

I do think Zeus loves all his kids. He doesn’t like some of them, but he does love all of them. And he isn’t as bad of a father as everyone thinks. People have discussed that better so I’ll not rant about it here.

All that aside, he definitely has favourites. Athena is his favourite child (Apollo, I think, being his second). And this favouritism is SUPER OBVIOUS. Its like none of the rules apply to Athena, which is weird considering Zeus isn’t forgiving of those who defy his authority (did someone say Prometheus?)

Ares, on the other hand, is on the other side of the spectrum. The one Zeus dislikes the most.

We can see how this affects them in several instances. The most notable is probably in the Iliad, after Athena deceitfully stabs Ares and forces him to flee to Olympus, injured.

Ares calls Zeus out on his favouritism. He says that gods weren’t allowed to fight each other and if it were anyone else, they would have been punished. He says Zeus always does this, always lets Athena get away with everything, and that he needs to start getting his daughter under control.

Zeus doesnt like this too much and basically tells Ares to stop whining and that he isn’t much better when it comes to destruction. He says Ares is the most hateful of all gods and loves bloodshed. He says he would have gotten rid of him if he weren’t his son, but seeing as he was, Zeus cannot bear to see Ares in pain. He then gets Ares healed.

I can definitely see how this kind of blatant favouritism from someone who should be better to Ares would affect him. Ares is the firstborn son of Zeus and Hera. He should be getting a lot of respect, as per ancient standards but instead, he is overtaken by his virgin half sister from Zeus’ previous marriage, and many bastard half siblings.

Athena being able to break rules left and right, and Ares having to be nervous about even toeing the line will cause distance between them.

This in addition to his position as a god of civil order is a reason that i think he wouldn’t want to break any rule until he deems it absolutely necessary, like if someone he cared about were in danger.

I can totally see a situation where both of them try to help a hero but Zeus orders them not to. Athena then wants to break the rules, but Ares is very hesitant about doing so. Athena convinces him, either by taunting or by calmly urging him, to go along with it. They get caught but only Ares gets punished. Ares can then truly show Athena the difference between her and everyone else.

Remember when i headcanoned earlier that Athena sends Ares away during the Rebellion? That ties into this. She knows that if they get caught, ares could get into trouble whether or not he did anything. I expect Ares will be furious about it when he returns and finds out what happened though, thinking it was just to get him out of the way, until its revealed why she did it. Then he’ll probably be super awkward.

2) Poseidon

The equal and opposite force to Zeus.

Well, maybe not equal, but quite close.

Lets start with the canon. Poseidon HATES Athena, despises her completely, and he frequently clashes with her father too. They worked together one (1) time and as a result, Athena wasnt punished while Poseidon was enslaved for years. Then there is the fight for Athens, the whole epic of the Odyssey, and so on.

Meanwhile he and Ares are actually shown to be close. Other than the Halirhothius incident, they are pretty chill. Poseidon is the one who vouched for him after the Net Thing With Hephaestus. Poseidon is also pretty cool with Aphrodite and they work together occasionally.

I think Poseidon thinks of Athena as this bratty kid of his brother, who is constantly working against him. You know that one annoying cousin you have who you try to avoid during family reunions because you KNOW you will clash? This is that, but a thousand times worse.

Meanwhile Poseidon really cares for Ares, and Ares takes fatherly affection from anywhere he can get it. Poseidon maintains a good relationship with both Aphrodite and Ares. He is closer with Aphrodite and doesnt love Ares quite as much as Zeus loves Athena, but he still cares a lot.

3) Aphrodite

It is no secret that Athena hates Aphrodite. Even when Athena warns Diomedes not to harm any god, she says Aphrodite is the exception. Athena, along with many of the other Olympians, see her as nothing but a silly, flighty, hysterical goddess.

On the other hand, Aphrodite and Ares are known for their intense love for each other, from even before her arranged marriage. They have a lot of kids together, and are shown to be close with all of them. They each have like one story of jealousy/one story where they are at odds with each other, which is pretty good for such a high-profile couple (Aphrodite curses Eos and Ares kills Adonis). They are there for each other, like in the trojan war, when Aphrodite was wounded and Ares gave her his chariot to go back to Olympus. He also changed sides very soon, just because Aphrodite asked. Athena complains about this too.

I think I wouldn’t be far off in saying that Athena is definitely resentful of how close they are, and how much sway Aphrodite has over her brother.

While Athena definitely doesn’t see eye to eye with Ares, and disagrees with his domain, she still sees him as a War God. One of her kind. And she just doesn’t see how a War God can go for someone like Aphrodite. Basically, she doesn’t think Aphrodite is, for lack of a better term, good enough for Ares, seeing as she is a Love Goddess.

Ares, on the other hand, does not want to hear anything like this. He is fiercely defensive of Aphrodite. He defends her warlike aspect (Aphrodite Areia), while everyone else tells her that she has no place in the battlefield. He sees Aphrodite as more than what people have labelled her to be. Which is why I believe (other than Eos and Adonis), they have one of the healthiest open relationships in greek mythology.

This can definitely cause animosity between Athena and Ares, because of Athena’s scorn and Ares’ temper. It can also increase the conflict between Athena and Aphrodite.

Maybe as time goes on, Athena can start seeing Aphrodite as having more depth. I certainly hope so. While they wouldn’t be best friends, I don’t see why they can’t learn to get along. This could also strengthen Athena and Ares’ bond. As long as people don’t insult her or lay their claim on her domain of Love and Beauty, Aphrodite is often very supportive. I truly think Aphrodite can help Athena overcome her misogyny, with Ares.

In conclusion, Athena and Ares have a very complex relationship. They do not simply hate each other, and neither do they have the most loving relationship. But they do care for each other. But strain can often be put on their relationship from their relationship to other people as well. Hopefully as time passes, they can overcome that, and have a healthier relationship, instead of sharing a good moment and then proceeding to fight each other for the next 500 years.

[faraway-wanderer]

BOOKS BY ASIAN AUTHORS MASTERLIST #stopasianhate

In light of recent events and the growing anti- Asian hate in the US and UK over the course of the pandemic I wanted to put together a masterlist of books by Asian authors. Obviously, it’s not extensive and there are HUNDREDS out there, but supporting art by Asian creators is a way of showing support; read their stories, educate ourselves. It goes without saying that we should all be putting effort into reading stories of POC and by POC because even through fiction we’re learning about different cultures, countries and heritages. So here’s some books to start with by Asian authors!

Here is a link also for resources to educate and petitions to sign (especially if you don’t read haha). It’s important that we educate ourselves and uplift Asian voices right now. Your anti-racism has to include every minority that faces it.

https://anti-asianviolenceresources.carrd.co/

for UK peeps, this is a good read: We may not hear about the anti Asian racism happening here, but it is definitely happening. https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/culture/culture-news/a35692226/its-time-we-stopped-downplaying-the-uks-anti-asian-racism/

 THE BOOKS:

·         War Cross- Marie Lu ( the worldbuilding in this is IMMENSE.)

For the millions who log in every day, Warcross isn’t just a game—it’s a way of life. The obsession started ten years ago and its fan base now spans the globe, some eager to escape from reality and others hoping to make a profit. 

·         Star Daughter- Shveta Thakrar

A beautiful story about a girl who is half human and half star, and she must go to the celestial court to try to save her father after he has fallen ill. And before she knows it, she is taking part in a magical competition that she must win!

·         These Violent Delights- Chloe Gong (I told my little sister to read this book yesterday bc she has a thing for a Leo as Romeo- so if you want deadly good looking Romeos, badass Juliet’s and to learn about 1920s Shanghai- this is for you.)

The year is 1926, and Shanghai hums to the tune of debauchery. A blood feud between two gangs runs the streets red, leaving the city helpless in the grip of chaos. A Romeo and Juliet retelling.

·         The Poppy War- R.F Kuang (My fave fantasy series just fyi- it’s soul crushing in the best way. Rebecca Kuang is a god of an author).

A brilliantly imaginative talent makes her exciting debut with this epic historical military fantasy, inspired by the bloody history of China’s twentieth century and filled with treachery and magic, in the tradition of Ken Liu’s Grace of Kings and N.K. Jemisin’s Inheritance Trilogy.

·         Loveboat Taipei-  Abigail Hing Wen  (Really heartwarming and insightful!)

When eighteen-year-old Ever Wong’s parents send her from Ohio to Taiwan to study Mandarin for the summer, she finds herself thrust among the very over-achieving kids her parents have always wanted her to be, including Rick Woo, the Yale-bound prodigy profiled in the Chinese newspapers since they were nine—and her parents’ yardstick for her never-measuring-up life.

·         Sorcerer to the Crown- Zen Cho (if anyone is looking for another Howl’s Moving Castle, look no further than this book)

At his wit’s end, Zacharias Wythe, freed slave, eminently proficient magician, and Sorcerer Royal of the Unnatural Philosophers—one of the most respected organizations throughout all of Britain—ventures to the border of Fairyland to discover why England’s magical stocks are drying up.

·         Emergency Contact- Mary H.K. Choi (very wholesome and fun rom-com!)

For Penny Lee high school was a total nonevent. When she heads to college in Austin, Texas, to learn how to become a writer, it’s seventy-nine miles and a zillion light years away from everything she can’t wait to leave behind.

 ·         Jade City- Fonda Lee (I am reading this currently and can I just say- I think everyone who loves fantasy and blood feuds in a story should read this.)

JADE CITY is a gripping Godfather-esque saga of intergenerational blood feuds, vicious politics, magic, and kungfu. The Kaul family is one of two crime syndicates that control the island of Kekon. It's the only place in the world that produces rare magical jade, which grants those with the right training and heritage superhuman abilities.

 ·         A Pho Love Story- Loan Le

When Dimple Met Rishi meets Ugly Delicious in this funny, smart romantic comedy, in which two Vietnamese-American teens fall in love and must navigate their newfound relationship amid their families’ age-old feud about their competing, neighbouring restaurants.

·         Rebelwing- Andrea Tang

Business is booming for Prudence Wu. A black-market-media smuggler and scholarship student at the prestigious New Columbia Preparatory Academy, Pru is lucky to live in the Barricade Coalition where she is free to study, read, watch, and listen to whatever she wants.

·         Wings of the Locust- Joel Donato Ching Jacob

Tuan escapes his mundane and mediocre existence when he is apprenticed to Muhen, a charming barangay wiseman. But, as he delves deeper into the craft of a mambabarang and its applications in espionage, sabotage and assassination, the young apprentice is overcome by conflicting emotions that cause him to question his new life.

 ·         The Travelling Cat Chronicles- Hiro Arikawa

Sometimes you have to leave behind everything you know to find the place you truly belong...

Nana the cat is on a road trip. He is not sure where he's going or why, but it means that he gets to sit in the front seat of a silver van with his beloved owner, Satoru. 

 ·         Super Fake Love Song- David Yoon

From the bestselling author of Frankly in Love comes a contemporary YA rom-com where a case of mistaken identity kicks off a string of (fake) events that just may lead to (real) love.

  ·         Parachutes- Kelly Yang

Speak enters the world of Gossip Girl in this modern immigrant story from New York Times bestselling author Kelly Yang about two girls navigating wealth, power, friendship, and trauma.

·         The Grace of Kings- Ken Liu ( One of the Time 100 Best Fantasy Books Of All Time!)

Two men rebel together against tyranny—and then become rivals—in this first sweeping book of an epic fantasy series from Ken Liu, recipient of Hugo, Nebula, and World Fantasy awards.

·         Wicked Fox- Kat Cho

A fresh and addictive fantasy-romance set in modern-day Seoul.

 ·         Descendant of the Crane- Joan He

In this shimmering Chinese-inspired fantasy, debut author Joan He introduces a determined and vulnerable young heroine struggling to do right in a world brimming with deception.

 ·         Pachinko- Min Jin Lee

Richly told and profoundly moving, Pachinko is a story of love, sacrifice, ambition, and loyalty. From bustling street markets to the halls of Japan's finest universities to the pachinko parlors of the criminal underworld, Lee's complex and passionate characters--strong, stubborn women, devoted sisters and sons, fathers shaken by moral crisis--survive and thrive against the indifferent arc of history.

·         America is in the Heart- Carlos Bulosan

First published in 1946, this autobiography of the well known Filipino poet describes his boyhood in the Philippines, his voyage to America, and his years of hardship and despair as an itinerant laborer following the harvest trail in the rural West.

 ·         Days of Distraction- Alexandra Chang

A wry, tender portrait of a young woman — finally free to decide her own path, but unsure if she knows herself well enough to choose wisely—from a captivating new literary voice.

·         The Astonishing Colour of After Emily X.R Pan

Alternating between real and magic, past and present, friendship and romance, hope and despair, The Astonishing Color of After is a novel about finding oneself through family history, art, grief, and love. 

·         The Gilded Wolves- Roshani Chokshi

It's 1889. The city is on the cusp of industry and power, and the Exposition Universelle has breathed new life into the streets and dredged up ancient secrets. Here, no one keeps tabs on dark truths better than treasure-hunter and wealthy hotelier Séverin Montagnet-Alarie. When the elite, ever-powerful Order of Babel coerces him to help them on a mission, Séverin is offered a treasure that he never imagined: his true inheritance.

·         When Dimple met Rishi- Sandhya Menon

Dimple and Rishi may think they have each other figured out. But when opposites clash, love works hard to prove itself in the most unexpected ways.

·         On Earth we’re briefly Gorgeous- Ocean Vuong

Poet Ocean Vuong's debut novel is a shattering portrait of a family, a first love, and the redemptive power of storytelling.

·         Fierce Fairytales- Nikita Gill

Complete with beautifully hand-drawn illustrations by Gill herself, Fierce Fairytales is an empowering collection of poems and stories for a new generation.

 BOOKS BEING RELEASED LATER THIS YEAR TO PREORDER:

·         Counting down with you- Tashie Bhuiyan- 4th May

A reserved Bangladeshi teenager has twenty-eight days to make the biggest decision of her life after agreeing to fake date her school’s resident bad boy.

How do you make one month last a lifetime?

·         Gearbreakers- Zoe Hana Mikuta- June 29th

Two girls on opposite sides of a war discover they're fighting for a common purpose--and falling for each other--in Zoe Hana Mikuta's high-octane debut Gearbreakers, perfect for fans of Pacific Rim, Pierce Brown's Red Rising Saga, and Marie Lu's Legend series

·         XOXO- Axie Oh- 13th July

When a relationship means throwing Jenny’s life off the path she’s spent years mapping out, she’ll have to decide once and for all just how much she’s willing to risk for love.

·         She who became the sun- Shelley Parker-Chan- 20th July

Mulan meets The Song of Achilles in Shelley Parker-Chan's She Who Became the Sun, a bold, queer, and lyrical reimagining of the rise of the founding emperor of the Ming Dynasty from an amazing new voice in literary fantasy.

·         Jade Fire Gold- June C.L Tan- October 12th

Two girls on opposite sides of a war discover they're fighting for a common purpose--and falling for each other--in Zoe Hana Mikuta's high-octane debut Gearbreakers, perfect for fans of Pacific Rim, Pierce Brown's Red Rising Saga, and Marie Lu's Legend series

  Keep sharing, signing petitions and donating where you can. The more people who are actively anti-racist, the better. And if your anti-racism doesn’t include the Asian community then go and educate yourself! BLM wasn’t a trend and neither is this. We have to stand up against white supremacy, and racism and stereotypes and we have to support the communities that need our support. Part of that can include cultivating your reading so you’re reading more diversely and challenging any stereotypes western society may have given you.

 Feel free to reblog and add any more recommendations and resources of course!

[vs-redemption]

Aaa im so sorry for bothering you! Can uou do my request from before (homeless kid) but now with hawks, shigaraki, and fatgum please? Im so sorry if its any trouble but your writing isFANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!

A/N: Phew! Sorry for the wait, but I wanted to make sure I gave you something I was proud of. And don’t worry! You aren’t bothering me. I was actually kind of wishing you’d included Hawks in the first request, and Shigaraki was a fun challenge to write! I really hope these meet your expectations.

A Surprise Meeting (Hawks, Fat Gum, and Shigaraki meet their abused child)

Warning:⚠️Mentions of child abuse and homelessness.⚠️

You can read the same scenario but with Bakugo, Iida, and Aizawa HERE You can read the same scenario but with Todoroki and Dabi HERE

Hawks

Hawks knew his patience would be put to the test whenever the Hero Commission called him in for a face-to-face meeting. He’d opened up his agency as far away from the head office as possible for the sole purpose of avoiding their overbearing attempts to control not only his career, but his personal life as well. He appreciated everything the Commission had done for him to an extent. After all, he never would’ve ended up as such a successful hero if they hadn’t taken him in as a child and given him intensive training to perfect his quirk. There were a lot of things he’d hated about living under the Commission’s thumb though. Because of that, he really hated whenever he had to go back there.

“Thanks for coming today, Hawks.” The president of the organization herself had come to greet him. He gave her a roguish grin despite the fact he wanted to role his eyes. He hated when they thanked him for obeying when it wasn’t like he had a choice anyway. “There’s someone we’d like you to meet.”

Hawks followed the president as she led him deeper into the facility than he’d been in a long time. His wings twitched behind him as unpleasant memories began to surface in his mind. He felt confused and uncomfortable when he was brought into a small observation room that had a view of one of the commission’s training spaces behind a large two way mirror. “Are you going to explain what this is all about?” Hawks jokes to try and ease his own tension, “Or are you keeping me in suspense on purpose?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” The president’s face remains stoic as she turns away and speaks into an intercom. “Bring her in.” Hawks looks into the training room on the other side of the glass and sees a random agent of the commission step through the door with a tiny little girl following closely behind. She looked to be around two years old. Hawks’ jaw drops in disbelief when he sees the two fluffy wings sprouting from the child’s back. He’d seen other people with wing quirks before, but this kid’s resemblance to him was uncanny. Her hair was darker than his, but the black markings around her golden eyes had his mind reeling.

“Of course we did a DNA test,” the president says flatly. “She’s definitely your child.”

Hawks steps away from the glass and runs a hand over his face, letting the information sink in. The commission had so much influence over his personal life that he’d mostly stayed away from any sort of relationship, knowing that there’d be too much drama over maintaining his image and reputation for him to actually enjoy having that kind of connection with someone. Admittedly, he had bent his own rules and caved into pressure once or twice after graduating the commission’s program. He wasn’t proud of it, but he’d mostly done it out of spite for all the years he’d spent being micromanaged.

“A woman dropped her off a few days ago,” the president’s voice turns sharp. “How could you let this happen?” Hawks wasn’t interested in a lecture at the moment, so he ignores the question in favor of moving closer to the glass and looking at his daughter more intently. She was cleaned up and wearing a standard uniform provided by the commission, but Hawks didn’t miss the painful looking scratches on her face or the raggedy, burned up ends of the feathers on her wings.

“What happened to her?” he asks, surprising even himself at the low tone of his voice.

“The mother admitted to doing most of it,” the president rattles off the information in a clinically detached way. “They’d also been living out on the street for a while as well, so who knows what might’ve happened.” The news was heartbreaking for Hawks. He hadn’t lived in ideal circumstances at that age either, and he wouldn’t wish that sort of life on anyone.

“Your wings didn’t start to grow back until you were a bit older, so we’re assuming it’ll be the same for her,” the president seemed oblivious to the emotional state of the hero standing next to her. “We’ve already started her on a special diet though, and she’ll begin her training regimen at the beginning of next week.”

Hawks wasn’t sure if it was some bird trait related to his quirk or just the knowledge that he was the kid’s father, but some sort of instinct kicked in with such intensity that it washed away any feelings of duty or habits of obedience that had been programmed into his brain.

“You’re not keeping her,” he says fiercely. The president just raises her eyebrows at him.

“The mother left her in our custody,” she states. “You should be thankful that we’re willing to overlook your mistake. With any luck, we’ll be able to groom this girl into a hero just as spectacular as you.”

“If you don’t release her to me, it’ll be you that’s made a mistake,” there was a promise of something terrifying in Hawks’ tone that seemed to finally shake the president’s resolve.

“You really think you’ll be able to be a decent parent?” she asks coldly.

“I won’t let her be robbed of a childhood like I was,” Hawks declares firmly. “If she wants to be a hero, she can make that decision when she’s old enough to do so.” Thankfully, the president decided not to argue any more. Hawks turns back to the window and allows himself to relax a bit. Looking over his daughter again, his heart filled with a love so strong it threatened to overwhelm him. He made a vow to love and protect his little girl so that she had the safest and happiest life possible.

Fat Gum

There was nothing quite like the feeling of walking around the lively streets of Osaka at night. People of all walks of life tended to come out around this time, and the delicious smell of cooking food filled the air. Taishiro Toyomitsu, better known as Fat Gum, could think of no better city to do his hero patrols. The crime rate was a little higher than in other places, but it was worth it for him to have easy access to the yakitori, yakisoba, and okonomiyaki stands that kept his quirk plenty fueled up.

Tonight he was in high spirits as he walked down one of the more famous shopping streets, stuffing his face with incredible snacks, and having friendly encounters with both locals and tourists alike. A couple of young musicians were playing on one of the street corners, so he tossed a few coins into their cup. Everything seemed to be fine basically, other than a few people who’d stumbled out of bars and needed help getting to a taxi. It was one of his more tame patrols, but he wasn’t going to complain about that.

He noticed that he was being followed near the end of the night, when most of the shops and restaurants were starting to close up. The busy streets began to empty as people hurried to catch the last few trains, and only when there were just a handful of people left out sweeping the sidewalks did the figure emerge from the shadows. Fat Gum was surprised to find that his pursuer was a young boy around nine years old with strange, aquamarine colored hair.

“Hey there, kiddo!” he kept a huge grin on his face but still kept his guard up just in case. “Can I help you with anything?” The kid looked to be in pretty rough shape as he gazed up at the BMI hero who towered over him. Fat Gum didn’t like the poor condition of the boy’s clothes, or that he appeared extremely dirty. The most concerning thing of all was how emaciated the boy looked. He could practically see the bones in his arms, and his cheeks were sunken with hunger. He wondered when the poor thing had last eaten a proper meal.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” the kid finally speaks up after a moment. Fat Gum finally noticed that the boy had started shaking like a leaf. He wasn’t sure if the boy was just cold, or if he was actually afraid. He watched as the kid reached into his back pocket and pulled out a tattered old photograph. “By any chance, do you know this woman?” The boy flinches away while holding out the paper for Fat Gum to see.

“I’m not gonna hurt ya, buddy!” the large hero says while taking the photo as non-aggressively as possible. “Let’s just take a quick look at this and… oh.” He recognized the woman staring back at him from the picture. He hadn’t seen her in almost a decade. He’d lost contact with her once she’d broken his heart after a short romantic affair. “Uh,” Fat Gum felt a little awkward, “Is this your mom?” The boy nods his head while keeping his eyes closed. “Then,” Fat Gum chuckles nervously, “am I your dad?”

“Yeah,” the boy mumbles before letting a few tears slip out, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” the need to be a hero for this boy was stronger than his discomfort with the situation. “If anyone should be sorry, it’s me. How could I have not known about this until now?”

“Mom wouldn’t let me tell you,” his voice cracks with emotion. “She said you’d be mad.”

“Well, that’s just silly!” Fat Gum shakes his head in disbelief. “Where is your ma’ now?” The boy finally glances up and meets his eyes. They were the same shape and color as his own.

“She got arrested yesterday,” he admits, sounding embarrassed. “Another hero caught her pickpocketing. She sometimes asked me to help her, but I haven’t been feeling well lately. We don’t have a place to stay either, so we had to find a way to get food.”

Fat Gum hated the thought of that woman not only keeping the existence of his son a secret, but also forcing a young boy to break the law. Perhaps that was why the boy looked so scared. He probably thought he was going to get in trouble too. Fat Gum had other ideas though.

“I’m really sorry that happened to your mom,” he says sincerely, “but she will have to pay for the crimes she committed.”

“I know,” the boy looks back down at his feet.

“But there’s no reason you have to follow in her footsteps,” Fat Gum says cheerfully. “I’m more than willing to take you under my wing. That is, if you don’t mind.” The boy finally allows a tentative smile to grow on his face. He clearly liked the idea.

“Well then, first I think we should get you to a doctor,” Fat Gum reaches down and gently pats the boy’s head. This time, he doesn’t flinch away. “And after that, I’ll make sure you get a decent hot meal! No kid of mine is going to look like skin and bones.” The boy eagerly agrees and allows Fat Gum to scoop him up into his arms. He had a feeling it was going to be a dream come true to finally have the fun and affectionate father he’d always imagined.

Shigaraki

People were always going on and on about how hard public servants worked and how important their jobs were. Heroes, police officers, firefighters, health workers… sure, they all had hefty responsibilities, but nobody ever considered the absolute nightmare it was being the leader of the League of Villains. Shigaraki wanted to see someone else try to manage the group of ragtag, lawless, misfits that he’d been left in charge of. It’d be one thing if they were all there to support him and his diabolical plans, but unfortunately a good number of his followers were just hanging around in the hopes of an opportunity to continue the work of the Hero Killer, Stain.

Stain had always been a sore spot with Shigaraki, ever sense the man had shown up at his hideout just to criticize him for not having a clear goal. He’d never admit it out loud, but the jerk might have had a point. At first, he’d just wanted to kill All Might, but that was only because it was what his master, All For One, had wanted. After All For One had been arrested, Shigaraki was sort of left without a guiding hand or a clear path to follow. He still wanted to kill All Might. And he wanted that annoying Midoriya kid dead too. When he really thought about it, Shigaraki just kind of wanted everyone to be dead.

The door to the villain’s hideout clicked open suddenly, making everyone in the bar turn to see who’d arrived. It was just Dabi, trailing in the scent of burnt corpses. Shigaraki clenched his teeth and sighs in annoyance. That ugly fire user was supposed to be out recruiting people to the League, but all he ever did was incinerate any potential members he came across.

“I didn’t know we were running a daycare service now,” Dabi comments lazily while grabbing a stool at the bar and signaling Kurogiri for a drink.

“What are you talking about?” Shigaraki felt the prickling urge to scratch at the flaking skin on his neck, but managed to control himself. Dabi was always trying to get a rise out of him and the worst thing he could do was take the bait.

“Some crusty looking rugrat is hanging around outside,” Dabi shrugs. “You might want to do something about that.” Shigaraki wasn’t sure if the annoying man was messing with him or not, but he sent Twice to check it out just in case. The last thing they needed was a lost child attracting the attention of any heroes. A few minutes later, Twice returned with what looked like a four year old boy trying to claw his way out of his captor’s arms.

“Put me down!” The kid protests before opening his mouth and biting down on Twice’s fingers. The villain drops the kid who lands with a thud on the floor.

“There really was a kid out there!” Twice gestures to the boy dramatically, “He’s completely rabid though! It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!”

“You picked the wrong place to run away to,” Shigaraki walks up to the boy feeling irritated. “You should’ve stayed with your mommy and daddy.” The boy glares up at him from the ground and Shigaraki gets a big shock. Aside from the hair color, it was like looking into a mirror. The boy had the same piercing red eyes as him. The skin around those familiar eyes was dry and irritated, just like his own too.

“You ARE my daddy!” The kid blurts out and the atmosphere in the bar gets extremely uncomfortable. Of course, the silence is broken by a snort from Dabi.

“Oh man,” he shakes his head. “I can’t believe someone actually had the stomach to sleep with you.”

“Shut up, Dabi!” Shigaraki tries to swallow down the panic and horror bubbling up inside him, but the persistent itch on his neck seemed to double in intensity over this unexpected news. He gives in, reaching up to scratch at the damaged pale skin below his ear. It had been All For One’s idea for him to have an ‘experience’ with a lady. He’d said it was an important part of becoming an adult, but now Shigaraki could only see it as a huge mistake. A voice drifted through his mind, telling him that it would only take five fingers to make this whole problem go away.

“Where’s your mommy?” Toga skips over happily, unable to resist inserting herself into the situation.

“I don’t know,” the boy was putting on a brave face, but it was clear that he was afraid. “We had to leave our house and sleep outside. Mommy said it was because my dad was a villain, but then she was gone when I woke up.”

The story struck a chord in Shigaraki. He’d been left abandoned without a home as well at a very young age. The last thing he wanted to do was sympathize with the brat though. What he wanted was for the kid to disappear. The idea of a guy like him being a parent was laughable. He was barely an adult himself, and he had enough on his plate right now. A small child was only going to be a burden. His fingers twitched, ready to activate his quick as he continues to look down at the helpless boy at his feet. The conflicting feelings inside him were making the itching flare up terribly. Every inch of skin on Shigaraki’s body felt like it was on fire now.

“You’re just like everyone else, aren’t you?” the boy suddenly slumps forward, the fight going out of him. “You hate me.”

A weird resolve washes over Shigaraki at those words. No. He wasn’t like everyone else. If there was one thing all the member of the League of Villains had in common, it was that they’d all been rejected by friends, family, and even heroes for traits they had little or no control over. This boy was just as much a victim of this crooked society as the rest of them.

“You’re forbidden from ever leaving this building,” Shigaraki states flatly. “And don’t expect anyone here to coddle you or clean up after you. The moment you become a nuisance you’re back out on the street.” The boy nods in understanding while finally pushing himself off the ground. Shigaraki wasn’t sure what he’d just signed up for. The only thing he knew for sure was that his job had just gotten a lot more complicated.

[noididntdude]

How i got into the cissamione ship, an elaboration 😅:

- i used to be a fleurmione shipper but i felt like there's always something missing. even when i've read a lot of fanfics, for me there's just something lacking there

- there's also the famous bellamione ship but just nope, nope, it's not for me. i mean if u ship it that's cool, u're cool. i tried but i just... can't get into it

- during these times i had brief glances of the cissamione tags but was never curious enough. i found out that it's the ship between hermione and narcissa malfoy, draco's mom, and i thought 'huh?' coz the narcissa i knew was the one in the movie

- then this pandemic happened and i was so bored. i already read and re-read the fleurmione fanfics that i liked, i even tried the hermione x ginny and the pansmione but they're not enough and not my taste, so i decided to try and delve into the mysterious hermione x narcissa ship and wow! was it one of the best things that happened to me this year!

- i read the short fics first and boom! i was hooked. so i researched about narcissa malfoy nee black and i. fell. in. love. what an amazing character, the way she was described in the book- blonde, unlike her sisters; elegant and prissy, the picture of a royal pure-blood; protective and caring, as a mother; and oh so mysterious, in a most alluring way. like, you can do a lot with a character like her and the awesome writers of the cissamione fandom deliver. the long fics are beautiful pieces of art. they really sell the dynamics between the heroines and as i read the fanfics, i knew; this is what i was looking for.

Why i ship this lovely pairing:

- first, let's look at hermione granger- this wonderful, sublime, and intelligent young woman can show both some of the positives and negatives of youth. the pros of youth u can see in hermione: energy, vibrancy, curiousity, spontaneity, innocence, wittiness, endless possibilities as she have a lot of room to grow. now the cons: brashness, self-righteousness, ignorance(she still doesn't know much since she lack experience), tends to be emotional or moody, misplaced judgements, can be harsh with punishments, prone to depression

*now, narcissa malfoy nee black, this beautiful, enigmatic, and cunning woman can show some of the good and bad sides of being someone of her age. the good ones: maturity, being at her prime (she's a witch), levelheadedness, wisdom(from her family and her experiences), balance, politeness, awareness. the bad ones: can be quite controlling, compares her time with the now, rigidness, have a lot of things to look back to that she tends to forget to focus on the present and look forward to the future, likely to overthink, can be dependent to wine, regretfulness

- next, the house they belong to.

*hermione, the gryffindor is- chivalrous, noble, brave and determined but can be reckless, stubborn, and tactless

*while narcissa, the slytherin is- subtle, resourceful, reasonable and a good leader (she led her family out of the mess that Lucius put them in) but she can be pessismistic, secretive, vengeful and resentful

-there's also their aesthetics

*hermione granger's descriptions in the books and fanfics always makes me picture vivid colors. They can be bright or dark hues but they are definitely vivid. She's like this bursts of colors everywhere she goes, not just because of her physical appearance but mostly because of her personality.

*narcissa black's descriptions in the books and in the fanfics always leaves me with the impression of soft colors with underlying shades. narcissa's outward appearance is always said to be pleasing to the eyes but the usual expressions on her face are not good for the heart. her fairness is both an advantage and disadvantage for her. that's why she definitely trained herself to seem delicate when it is needed and look impenetrable when it is necessary. in the books during the war u can see her being soft colors as she preferred to be in the background, but when it comes to protecting her family u will notice her shades.

- lastly, the way they love.

when u're looking for a life partner, unconciously the one that you really examine is the way they care for others. it can be because u want to experience that special care for ur own or u want to learn how to care like that (like that person can or will inspire u to love like them) or u want both.

*hermione granger, being an only child, is a bit open with her love. her strong desire to prove herself used to get in the way but as the years go by she learned what she and others are comfortable with so she was able to spread her love more. people around her soon understand that hermione is open with her compassion. she is also fierce and expressive in showing them. she's also loyal and true despite the bits of betrayal. and she always put others before herself. hermione loves in a splendid way though it can be tough towards herself since she is the sacrificing type.

*narcissa black's character made an impact in the harry potter story due to her extreme love for her son which caused voldemort's defeat. from this, we can conclude that narcissa loves tightly. with the family she grew up in, that seems to be the best choice. their family obviously have their prejudice since it's their ancestors that suffered in the hands of muggles. their motto of remaining pure in their blood was definitely installed to the black children's minds. that's why narcissa held it in her heart that family first before eveything. she had to hold on to those who are already there for her and she had to choose wisely and carefully those who can enter into her personal bubble. She was taught that the outside world is not safe, they are people who will be against her and her family. she can't be too open with her affections or her enemies will use it to destroy her. so narcissa is very protective and can be overbearing. it can be tough for the people around her since she is quite selfish but it is still a precious way to love.

When u combine these elements together, u get a couple that has this endless chemistry, deep and strong connection, great story, and exquisite future.

their trope is that of needing to wanting and wanting to needing

from hermione's part it can go like this:

she will need narcissa since she will never have that closure from bellatrix and after the war the only capable and mentally stable witness of her torture would be narcissa, since draco have his issues too since he's young like hermione.

she will go from needing to meet with narcissa to wanting to be with narcissa, after getting to know the youngest black sister better.

from narcissa's part it will be like this:

narcissa, who for the duration of the first and second war only did what was necessary, can now do the things she wants to do after the war. one of those would be apologizing to the people who suffered inside their manor, specially hermione granger.

she will go from wanting to meet with hermione to needing to be with hermione, after getting to know gryffindor's golden girl better.

With regards to their canon partners this is what i can say,

hermione and ron have their differences but they don't really compliment each other that much. like, they can't and won't bring the best out of each other.

the same goes for narcissa and lucius. the latter obviously sabotage their family even though that's not his intention. these two slytherins have their similarities but it's as if they're just together for formality's sake.

hermione and ron, narcissa and lucius are like parallel lines when they're together. their similarities are only on the surface but they will never really touch each other.

while hermione and narcissa are like perpendicular lines. they touch, they intersect at the right angle. yes, they came from the opposite sides but when they finally meet they build something beneficial like a cartesian plane. this dynamic is what makes cissamione the best ship for me.

thanks for reading.

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X9

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I loved this episode! The writing was excellent, the cinematography was phenomenal, the acting was great, and the sets and costumes were gorgeous! They did some very interesting shots. It was very avant-garde and when done right I love that kind of thing. Also, we got to see Meredith back in action as she wandered around Teddy's dreamscape and talked to her which I loved. They took a risk with this episode and I think it paid off.

This episode was really beautiful in terms of the sets and costumes that we’re used. I loved Meredith’s jacket, the blue wedding dress that Teddy wears is gorgeous, and I loved her silk pyjama set and robe. Very fierce. I love that they recreated Teddy’s apartment in Germany and dressed it up for the wedding. That set was really cool! The flower arrangements were interesting, and the disco balls were a nice touch. I loved the hotel set where Tom and Teddy run away to. It was very flowy and surreal. Teddy’s bedroom in New York was also well done. The wicker bedframe made it feel particularly true to the era.

This episode made me feel like I have a better understanding of where Teddy is coming from now and it made her a lot more sympathetic and understandable than in the past. I’ve been open about the fact that I’ve found Teddy’s motivations and point of view difficult to understand this season. She spent the first half of the season treating Tom horribly for no discernable reason. She’s been cruel to Owen after finally getting what she wanted all these years and I repeatedly found myself wondering what she expected to have happen after she acted the way that she did.

I didn’t think it was possible for me to like Teddy after the way she’s been acting all season and the careless way she’s been treating other people, but this episode made me understand her a lot more and actually have sympathy for her. What this episode addressed in a big way is that Teddy has never gotten treatment or really dealt with the trauma that she has experienced in the way that other characters have.

Owen, Teddy, Megan, Riggs, April, and Parker all served in the military and experienced trauma as a result. But Teddy has never gotten treatment or any kind of help for what happened to her. We’ve seen Owen go through therapy for his PTSD and other issues multiple times across the seasons. We saw Megan receive treatment and she talks to Owen about the fact that both her and Riggs go to individual and couples’ therapy weekly to deal with their trauma and issues.

While we don’t see April go to therapy we do see her work through the trauma of having served, losing her son Samuel, losing her marriage, and we see her go through a crises of faith later on. We see her process those emotions and get help from those around her. Last we see of resident Casey Parker, Teddy and Amelia are admitting him for treatment and he’s reported to be doing better. We never see Teddy do any of that. We see her go to a grief group after Henry dies, but that’s it. As Amelia says to Owen in this episode, they have both openly acknowledged and received treatment for their illnesses and issues. Teddy never has and clearly that's been affecting her more than any of them, including Teddy, realized. This episode addressed the long standing issues that Teddy has and I’d like to see her get therapy going forward. Through Teddy’s dreams we find out that she blames herself for Allison’s death because she wanted to stay in and make her pancakes for breakfast, but Teddy said no.

Allison wound up going to the restaurant Windows on the World for breakfast and then to work at the World Trade Centre and Teddy grabbed something quickly and then went into work at the hospital. Teddy feels that if she had just said yes to breakfast and to Allison making her pancakes or if they’d both called into work and taken the day off that Allison wouldn’t have died, but as this episode makes clear Teddy couldn’t have known what was going to happen. And having breakfast with Allison may not have saved her life. She could have been somewhere nearby the day of the attack and suffered smoke inhalation or been hit by debris.

Or she could have randomly been hit by a car walking down the street. You just don't know what’s going to happen. But nevertheless, Teddy blames herself. In her flashbacks we see Teddy learn of her mother’s sudden and unexpected death at the age of 50. We learn that Teddy’s father was sick for years before he died that same year. That Allison carried her through that and that’s how they fell in love.

So, when Allison died in a horrific unexplainable terrorist attack that same year Teddy was gutted and so she ran away and joined the military in order to try and help the people who were trying to get the people who killed Allison. While serving in Iraq she fell in love with someone who was engaged and when she was discharged and they reconnected she found out he felt the same way but was with someone else who he later married.

So, she moved on and fell in love with someone else who promptly died. Owen then fired her so she would take her dream job at MedCom in Germany and when they reconnected once again, she found him married to someone else. He flew all the way to Germany to see her and she finally thought they were going to have their moment only to discover that he’d been sleeping with Amelia the night before. She kicked him out only to realize afterwards that she was pregnant.

She once again returned to Seattle only to find out that Owen and Amelia had gotten back together and had kids. So, she started over and began a relationship with Tom only for Owen to once again declare his love for her at the worst possible moment. They got back together and she thought she was happy, but the moment she realized that Amelia’s baby might be Owen’s she panicked and ran back to Tom.

Only to discover that the baby was Link’s and that she just blew her life up for no reason. She couldn’t admit to what she’d done because all of that is tied to her previous trauma that she still hasn’t dealt with. She couldn’t face Tom because she didn’t know how to explain her actions. She couldn’t tell Owen because she still doesn’t understand why did what she did and all of that is wrapped up in those past events that she still hasn’t come to terms with. Then Owen can’t forgive her because that lie makes him feel like everything about their relationship has been a lie.

As for the show choosing to introduce and explore Teddy’s deep love for Allison this late into Teddy's tenure I'm of two minds. On the one hand, I wish they had introduced or hinted at Teddy being bisexual or being in love with Allison earlier on in the series as it would have made more sense and been less of a shock. On the other hand, I've really enjoyed seeing the show explore this storyline more and dive deep into what trauma does to people and how the devastation of losing someone in a tragic incident such as 9/11 can make you close off parts of yourself. The actress who plays Allison, Sherri Saum, does a fantastic job and her and Kim Raver, who plays Teddy, have great chemistry. I found their scenes particularly moving.

As for Owen’s behaviour in this episode, while I understand why Owen was upset, I felt it was hypocritical of him to be so mad at Teddy for not telling him that her and Allison were lovers when he got involved with and married both Cristina and Amelia without telling them that Teddy existed. They both found out after or around the time they got married to him that he was in love with Teddy when she showed up in Seattle. What Teddy did was awful, but Owen's no saint. He's done just as bad and worse. I think it's time for him to let go of his animosity toward her and forgive her. I'm also just really sick of watching them fight all the time. No thank you.

As Amelia says to Owen in this episode, forgiving her doesn't mean that they get back together. It can simply mean that he chooses to let go of his angry and work through his emotions so that they can be friends and co-parent together as he and Amelia have done. I thought Amelia was great in this episode. We saw her step up and advocate for Teddy and counsel Owen even though she didn’t have to.

She told Owen what he needed to hear knowing he was likely to listen to her more than others. She supported Teddy and advocated for her even though she didn't have to because that's who Amelia is and she wants Teddy to experience the same sanity and peace that she's attained now that she's had her brain tumour removed and has her addiction under control. Plus, I think she genuinely wants Owen to be happy and for the kids that they are all raising together to be happy. Happy parents make for happy children. She wants that for them.

Amelia has grown so so much in the past few seasons. She’s gone from someone who was mentally unstable and out of control to the point that she refused help for what were clearly serious issues for literal years and then treated Meredith horribly after Derek’s death and made everything about her and whined and complained when Owen and Meredith pointed out that she wasn’t the only one who missed Derek and that Meredith did not have the luxury of falling apart because she had three small children who need her to someone who is sane and stable and has her addiction under control to the point that she is able to advocate and help others and is able to support Meredith and look after her kids with kindness and compassion.

I loved the Beth and Cristina mentions in this episode and all of the flashbacks especially the early one to when Teddy first shows up and we the audience learn that her and Owen have been in love forever, but he's with Cristina and before that he was engaged to Beth. In this episode we saw Meredith and DeLuca accompany and guide Teddy throughout her dreamscapes which I thought worked really well.

I loved seeing Meredith up and about and talking to Teddy and guiding her through her trauma and her response to it. Meredith is Teddy's patient, she wants her to live, and because Cristina and Amelia are her sisters and she's known Owen by extension for a long time she has information that's useful to Teddy so I thought that made sense. I particularly loved the field of bodies scene in the snow where Teddy is blaming herself for Allison, Henry, and DeLuca’s death and Meredith’s tells her there’s nothing she could have done.

Then at the end Meredith says to her, “Come on let’s leave this place.” And Teddy looks at her and says, “Please don’t die.” And Meredith says, “I’ll try.” I thought was funny and also very poignant. DeLuca helping to guide her made sense to me in that he was someone she worked with closely during the pandemic and who died on her table. She desperately wanted to turn back time and save him the same way she wanted to save Allison, her parents, and Henry.

While I’ve never been a DeLuca fan, I genuinely thought his scenes in this episode were funny and the actor had good comedic timing. The road trip with Tom and DeLuca was hilarious. It makes me wonder what the character could have been if they gone with a more comedic route. What would have happened if in Season 15 instead of pivoting and going in a completely differently direction they had stayed the course and after getting his mojo back had him continue to pursue Neurosurgery as a speciality, had Amelia continue to mentor him, and given him more comedic dialogue.

I think that really could have worked well because from Seasons 12 to 14 DeLuca worked well as a side character and in a supporting role. I didn’t have a particularly strong opinion on the character back then and I only started to hate him as a character in Season 15 when they turned him into a complete asshole who was rude and disrespectful to everybody for no good reason. Presumably out of fondness for the actor they decided to give him a bigger role in Season 15 and made the choice to pivot from him having a supporting role to a romantic storyline and then a dramatic one.

Which was a real shame because it took DeLuca from being a decent side character that most fans either liked or were neutral on to being a real asshole that most fans hated and couldn’t stand. The reality is that character and that actor just didn’t work in a romantic storyline with the main character and his mental health storyline did not come across as intended. I think that’s because the actor and character were best suited to a supporting or comedic role and just didn’t work as a romantic lead or in a dramatic storyline.

My favourite scene of the episode was when Tom and Teddy were in the hotel room and the grenade suddenly appeared and then it went off! I didn't expect it to actually go off and blow up Tom! That shocked me and made for an interesting transition. I really liked seeing more of Tom in this episode. He’s a great character and he’s contracting of COVID-19 has really sidelined him recently so I enjoyed seeing him back in action. The actor, Greg Germann, has great comedic timing so that was a treat to see and I loved seeing more of Tom and Teddy together at the hotel room.

Until next time!

[curiosity-killed]

Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Aw of course I don’t mind! Though I feel like my answer is going to be a disaster bc I love these casts so so much aha let’s see:

✨ SPOILERS AHEAD ✨

MDZS/CQL

1. Wei Wuxian

Ah so I feel like this is obvious based on the sheer quantity of things I produce and the effort I put into hurting him 😅 but yeah! I love how much of a classical tragic hero he is and I love how much love he has and how that gets twisted around and shaped into a collar of spikes around his own neck. I saw gif sets of wwx before I ever knew about CQL and my reaction was “fuck. I’m going to love him” and I do! And I love that he does learn from his past and I love most of all that he learns to accept the love he is given and is able to make a happy ending in a place of being loved and held in respect and appreciation

2. Wen Qing

On the other hand, I did not expect to be like “mine now” with Wen Qing. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy immortal look got me but it wasn’t really till I started writing fic that I was like ohhhhh Oh Boy. Wen Qing is brilliant and ruthless, fiercely loving and aloof and cold. I love that she gets the lose-lose challenge of balancing what is right for her family vs what is right in the world, what she owes to her sect and what she owes to individuals. The golden core transfer is my favorite dubious science experiment in p much all media I’ve consumed. She gets to be so human—prickly and tough and also achingly gentle and afraid and putting on a tough face and sometimes still crying. “I’m sorry and thank you” ! Im!!

3. Jiang Yanli

The first fic I wrote for this fandom was literally “Jiang Yanli died no she didn’t” lmao I do feel like I underserve Jiang Yanli in that I often fall prey to using her to further the complexity that the male characters are permitted while denying her the chance to be given the same space for development and breath — something to work on! But in that, I really genuinely love how tightly she binds herself to her family and how she tries so hard to be what others need her to be—and then she does make a choice for herself and for a single moment at least, she gets to be loved and to be happy and to have this, a husband and a son and a place, for herself. And terribly I love how much she permeates the story still after death. She is the unspoken voice, the face turned from the camera but always still present, carried in the hearts and names and memories of the ones left behind

She deserved better but—I am weak for the tragedy of it all

4. Jiang Cheng

Another surprise (tho hardly surprising in hindsight): Jiang Cheng is just...horribly understandable. He makes terrible choices and his greatest heroism is undone by a choice made for him or, in the case of “killing the Yiling Laozu” is a lie. He is such a youngest sibling who doesn’t want to be the youngest until all at once, he’s the one in charge and he doesn’t want it at all. He is full of anger and hurt and so much love he doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t want it anymore, has no place to put all of its terrible, overwhelming flood.

5. Lan Wangji

I almost didn’t put Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng on here and then I realized that this is sort of a list of characters I’m pickiest about in fic and...yeah. I think what I love best about Lan Wangji is his journey of grief and healing and through that, his decision to step into world. Where Wei Wuxian’s decision to travel and be removed from the cultivation world (in varying degrees depending on your headcanon preference lol) is really, really important to me, Lan Wangji’s decision to go from being an isolated lone agent working apart from the systems of the world to being involved and invested in changing those systems and working to make them better is also really important to me. I’ve talked before about how relatable Lan Wangji is to me (esp with regards to our interaction with the outer world) and there is something deeply hopeful and comforting about post-timeskip Lan Wangji being in his like mid-/late-30s and still making decisions and growing and changing and choosing to invest himself in the world and the future

yeah. i have thoughts here that I don’t really have the maturity, life experience, or articulation to put into words but Lan Zhan Good basically

TGCF

1. Xie Lian

suuuurpriiiiise!! Yeah honestly mxtx’s mains in TGCF and MDZS really just hit all my buttons basically. What appeals to me most of all about Xie Lian is, fittingly, how he is humanity taken to extremes. His capacity for incredible kindness and compassion is equaled with his capacity for cruelness and ruthlessness. His heaven-shaking highs are matched with calamitous lows. He is the hyperbolic of what it is to be human—and he is also the small moments, the wildflowers and the maple leaves and the mundane chores and the comfort of whispered conversations late into the night. I could quite literally go on for pages about what I love about Xie Lian but I am not Hua Cheng and can restrain myself LMAO

2. Hua Cheng

of all the characters on these lists, Hua Cheng is the one I’m pickiest about tbh! When I say I love him for similar reasons as Xie Lian I don’t actually mean this as being similarities between the two but the fact that both of them so richly convey mxtx’s points about the nature of humanity and what it is to be human. Hua Cheng is both the boldest and most arrogant of all and also the most vulnerable, the one who shies away from the truth because he’s braced for it to hurt and isn’t sure he can take it. He is gory blood rain and an umbrella to shelter a fragile bloom; he is a blade whose wounds only heal if he permits it and he is a sacrifice that he brushes aside as a fit of madness. *pats his head* this boy can fit SO MUCH inside him that he refuses to acknowledge

3. Jun Wu

Definitely my favorite antagonist in recent reading. I was doubtful of him from the start (something something issues with authority something something probably should talk to my theoretical future therapist shhh) but the unfolding of his reveal was so delightfully painful and exquisite that I was like “YES!!!” reading all of it. About the epitome of a satisfying plot twist imo. But about the character himself, I love how he parallels so many — Xie Lian in his rise and fall, his glory and disgrace; Hua Cheng in his fixation and ruthlessness; He Xuan in losing himself to the plot and not knowing how to move forward. I love that he feels beyond human in a way the others don’t—he’s so old and has gone through so much and he doesn’t feel things the way humans do anymore, doesn’t remember right how love squeezes the heart or how hate can exist without acting on it. I love that he thinks he knows how to control everyone and that it’s such mundane things that fool him: Xie Lian’s absurd stubbornness, Hua Cheng’s foolish faith, Yin Yu’s...emotional maturity??? Not Sure how to verbalize that one. But in the end, he is defeated by both the humanity of others and by his own—he’s so tired. He’s exhausted in a way that gods and ghosts aren’t meant to be. He is, under the armor and the masks, the curses and the power, human—benevolent and cruel, evil and good.

4. He Xuan

I love my fish man! No but really I love how He Xuan is so fixed on his one goal that he refuses to acknowledge anything else in his (after)life—which doesn’t make it go away. I love that he is left unmoored, purposeless through the very act of completing that which gives him purpose. I love his long con and the ways he clings to himself but loses himself not in the act but in the telling himself it’s an act. I love that he tries to be a moral man and then becomes a ghost king, a calamity. His reveal is also terribly badass and I do love his bone fish wholly unironically. Like I’m not going to get a He Xuan tattoo (for one thing I’ve been meaning to get a tattoo for 5 years and still haven’t gotten around to it) but also. B o n e f i s h

5. Mu Qing

Of course! The Jiang Cheng of tgcf lol Mu Qing (which my phone desperately wants to autocorrect to my Qing) is so...gah he’s such a mess! And he so fully commits to the belief that no one will ever see and understand him as he is but will always view them through their own convictions about him and his actions — which is simultaneously heartbreakingly lonely and also. Sir You Are a Clown. I genuinely think he’s owed apologies from both Feng Xin and Xie Lian for their treatment and assumptions of him and think that he would be HORRIBLY offended at the thought (while secretly touched? But like secretly even to himself). He will never explain himself and will just clam up tighter the more people accuse him and it’s such a self-sabotaging behavior and also so horribly relatable. I love u sir, you’re a disaster

SVSS I have not read but I do really like the moshang art 😂

[imgoingtocrash]

Made of Iron, Born of Fire: The Fanmix 

by @imgoingtocrash

Listen on Spotify and 8tracks

Read the series on Ao3

AKA: A labor of love for @savvysass’s birthday!!!!

What can I say that hasn’t already been said because we’re both incredibly sappy people in our Author’s Notes? Writing this series with you has brought me so much joy in the last two years, and I never could have hit over 100k words without you. Here’s to whatever we write next in the series...and all of the WIPs we’re working on right now...and only god knows what’s next for us personally and professionally...and most importantly, to you on your Birthday. Thank you for being such a good friend, in both fandom and outside of it. I’m so, so thankful to know you and love you. 🥰

Director’s Cut Below, because we all know I love talking about this series, and yes, that does extend to why I picked these songs. (And also maybe because these song choices only make sense in my brain and hopefully Savannah’s?? Who knows! Feel free to ask questions if you want but let’s be honest this series and fanmix are most importantly for us, because we love the series so dang much.)

My Wildest Dreams by Ron Pope

I spoke in riddles and in rhymes, but my time with you has taught me to simplify, you’re not quite what I pictured you would be, you’re better than my wildest dreams.

We’ve talked about this one before, and I’LL TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN!!!! Ron Pope is so good imo, and this song wowowow the father-child feels, but especially with Tony and newborn Peter a la A Foreign Feeling and A First Time For Everything.

Big & Scared by Raleigh Ritchie

I want to be better for you, let me do that now, you’re my favorite human, so you should be prepared, I’ll help you get through it, when you’re big and scared

We’ve mentioned Tony’s thoughts about legacy multiple times by now, and I think this song really represents Tony looking forward to the person Peter could be become and that “breaking the cycle” mentality of supporting Peter even when he’s not a perfect father.

Legacy of Sadness by Ron Pope

irrational as it may seem I guess I’m sorry, even though I know that none of it’s my fault, it is easier for me to count my blessings, than to cry for every single thing we’ve lost

I have 0 shame putting these two songs by Ron Pope almost back to back because they’re the opening and closing of an album dedicated to his child like...it’s so perfect for Tony and this theme of reflection on who he is and who Peter will become/is becoming and all that entails.

this is me trying by Taylor Swift

They told me all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential, and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad, I have a lot of regrets about that

I wrote something...very sad but also soft recently??? and this is for That it’s about pre-CW Pepperony being separated and the road to them trying to come back together including Tony working on himself and I love it!!! It hurts really good!!! This whole song is perfect for it and I can’t wait until people get to read it.

Be Good When I’m Gone by Four Year Strong

I'm sorry I can't stop to listen, but I've got so much to do and I've got some place to be, the house looks like the aftermath of a hurricane, I hope it stays that way

Tony being a busy parent but doing his best to make time for Peter in his life and making that time count has been something super important to illustrate to us, especially the transition from being a CEO to being a superhero and how that changes how Peter sees Tony’s absence over time.

I Won’t Back Down by Johnnyswim, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors, and Penny and Sparrow

Tony puts on the original version by Tom Petty in Home Is Where The Heart Is, but I think this cover has a very slow, emotional undertone that’s really great too. The interludes, if you didn’t catch it, have all been featured in a fic previously.

Let It Matter by Johnnyswim

So if it matters let it matter, if your heart's breaking let it ache, catch those pieces as they scatter, know your hurt is not in vain

Pepper in Never Tell Me The Odds ALL DAYYYYY. She’s the emotional rock of that fic (and of our Ironfam TBH) and it’s all because she allows herself to feel her feelings and encourages the Stark boys to do so as well.

Simmer - Acoustic by Hayley Williams

And if my child, needed protection, from a fucker like that man, I’d sooner gut him, cause nothing cuts like a mother

Post-Home Is Where The Heart Is...y’all know Pepper’s not that mad about what happened to Obie. Also just Pepper when someone hurts her family?? I always write it as her sort of putting all of her emotion into something she can control and doing it well, so, this song is all about that.

Tightrope by Nia Hendricks

one step after another, keep holding on to each other, don’t look back, move on and let go, that’s how you walk on a tightrope

Pepperony trying to navigate their relationship and the insanity of superhero stuff and also co-parenting. It’s all excellent, I love them so much, I enjoy writing it so much!!!!

Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan

Never got the chance, to say a last goodbye, I gotta move on, but it hurts to try, how do I love, how do I love again?

This song is tilted towards romance, but if you’ll remember, we’re a Pro-Tony Survives Endgame AU series, so it’s not about THAT...but well...Infinity War sure will hit something fierce for certain non-romantic relationships in this series, huh?

The Bones by Maren Morris

Call it dumb luck, but baby, you and I, can't even mess it up, although we both try, no, it don't always go the way we planned it, but the wolves came and went and we're still standing

Post-Endgame Ironfam!!! Tony and Pepper married with their kids, their family and HAPPY...THIS IS WHY WE DO ALL OF THE ANGST...FOR A FAMILY...WE LOVE THEM

Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas

Considered Pepper and Peter’s ‘song’, as it’s referenced multiple times in the series, and was one of the bigger solidifying moments of their mother-son relationship as a whole.

Mundane by Hardcastle

And I’ve been sinking into silence, dwelling on my thoughts, and in these months, I haven’t felt that most conversations have left me anything but blue

Peter’s selective mutism was something very special to us when we originally had the idea, and making sure we talk about it and utilize it in the right way is something we’re still working on, particularly with the Therapy Fic we’re brainstorming atm.

survivin’ (One Eyed Jack’s Session) by Bastille

What can I say? I'm survivin', crawling out these sheets to see another day, what can I say? I'm survivin', and I'm gonna be fine, I'm gonna be fine, I think I'll be fine

Spoiler Alert: Peter’s not fine, like, a decent amount of the time. But he’s sure trying, and we love him for that.

Jacob from the Bible by Jake Wesley Rogers

Mama, don't worry, it took me years, to say I'm sorry, to see your tears, Mama, forgive me, I grew up too fast, but it's not on you, it's in the past

Mostly part of Peter growing up to become a hero and realizing what his parents--particularly Pepper--have gone through for him to become the person he is today, but that sometimes he still doesn’t feel like he’s making them proud enough.

Compassion Is a German Word by To Kill A King

Don't be so arrogant, you ain't no different to anyone I've met, we're all the heroes in our own film, or maybe the villain in someone else's

Spider-Man being an excellent superhero boi!!! Being kind and good!!! We love it!! Also, I put a TKAK song on...a LOT of my playlists, because I think they’re great.

brutal by Olivia Rodrigo

And I'm so sick of seventeen, where's my fucking teenage dream?, if someone tells me one more time, "Enjoy your youth", I'm gonna cry

I mean...this song is such a Teenage Mood...I had to do it...

In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning by Frank Sinatra

So, I had this cute little scene in my head that went with this song for SO LONG but there wasn’t really anything for it to fit into so...yeah that’s part 2 of Savannah’s Birthday Gift, a little soft Baby Peter drabble. Fluffy Goop from top to bottom. That can be read here.

Home by Phillip Phillips

Just know you're not alone, 'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

...I know it’s not original, okay? It’s found family, it’s great, I don’t care!

Comes and Goes (In Waves) by Greg Laswell

And this part was for her, and this part was for her, this part was for her, does she remember?

This song is good family angst in general BUT these specific lyrics made me think of Mary and that they never forget her in their lives despite the other stuff going on (because we refuse to let them).

I Have Made Mistakes by The Oh Hellos

I have made mistakes, I continue to make them, the promises I've made, I continue to break them, and all the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them, but nothing is a waste if you learn from it

No one in the Ironfam is perfect, but they all do their best to try and grow even when they’re scared they’ll never be able to. The ups and downs are all par for the course of this series to us.

Easy Days - Demo by Bastille

Cause I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days, everything was so simple then, little fires burned away

Strife is a part of life, and the family in this fic growing through their loss and struggles and moving ahead as a unit to get to a better place is super central to making the fic what it is...but it’s easy for them to remember the old days before being superheroes and wishing it was simple again.

North by Sleeping At Last

Let the years we’re here be kind, be kind, let our hearts like doors open wide, open wide, settle our bones like wood over time, over time, give us bread, give us salt, give us wine

The way Tony went from feeling so alone to having an entire built family that’s so full of love and everything he never dreamed of...*screams into my pillow* I love this series so much thank you and good night!!!