#but creating safe spaces isn’t activism it’s just being a decent person

[rencwn]

• • • where would you be by yaw : spotted! if it isn’t faizan mirza walking through the streets of nyc. people say he looks like riz ahmed, but i really don’t see it. the forty year old ceo of onlyfans is out here making mommy and daddy proud. while he has been known to be + gregarious, we’ve all seen their - aloof nature come to light. sources tell me he reminds people of new money , a collection of spinning rolex watches , generous gifts , late night clubbing. / cis male & he / him.

BASIC INFORMATION:

name: faizan ali mirza. nicknames: fai. pronouns: he/him. gender: cis man. age: thirty - nine. date of birth: june 28th, ‘83. place of birth: london, england. astrological sign: cancer. orientation: bisexual.

APPEARANCE:

height: five foot eight. hair colour: black. eye colour: brown. wardrobe style: smart casual , lots of muted colours , button ups , etc. tattoos: none. piercings: none.

HEALTH:

physical ailments: n/a. mental ailments: n/a. alcohol use: socially. drug use: cocaine, socially. addictions: none.

PERSONALITY:

positive traits: meticulous, galant, centred. negative traits: controlling, obsessive, detached. mbti: ENTJ-T.

ACTIVITIES & SKILLS:

skills: coding, web design, public speaking, leadership. weaknesses: taking accountability, patience. languages spoken: english, urdu.

FAMILY:

father: ali mirza ( alive, sixty - one ) mother: harpreet bajwa mirza ( alive , fifty - nine ) younger sister: tbd mirza ( alive, between 21 - 24 ) pets: noodle ( hognose snake , 2 )

BACKGROUND

faizan was born on south london , to young parents ali and harpreet mirza. ali sold computers and harpreet was a stay - at - home mother. ali was a born salesman and was soon offered a new job in ontario when faizan was three. from that moment on , they didn't stay in the same place for more than two years at a time. from ontario , they moved to san diego , then to cape town , new delhi , new york city , canberra , islamabad , and eventually when faizan was close to finishing high school ... they settled in san jose , close to silicon valley , because harpreet was pregnant again.

for a while , bitterness towards his little sister remained. anger that his family had settled when they had her , but not for him. as she grew up , he did his best to avoid her. he begrudgingly babysat , doing just enough not to put her in harms' way , but little enough for his parents not to want to get him to do it again. eventually. they stopped asking. instead of babysitting , he spent his evenings in the local board game cafes or at lan parties. he took lessons in how to code , visiting the company his father had risen up in rank , now deputy director of sales , learning from the programmers there and eventually going to college to study business. every weekend , however , he was developing games , coding with friends , making them small websites , and generally keeping himself entertained.

when he finished university , he went and worked for the same company his father worked for. he worked there for three years before he had to get out of there and get some distance from his family. while he'd been at university , he'd gotten over the despise for his sister , but being so close to his family was driving him up the wall. he started his own company , building websites and applications for large businesses and began making a name for himself. soon , he was getting offers from google , facebook , twitter. he worked for google for a while , but eventually was drawn back to his own business. wallet overflowed and he was often found among the celebrity elite. he relocated from sillicon valley to new york.

then , he had a brain wave. he'd made applications and websites before , mostly for others , though some of his own and they all had decent success. he created onlyfans in 2021 , creating it for the purpose of providing a safe space for creators of all content to be paid for their work and have safeguarding in place. from the minute he created the website , he knew what people would use it for , though he marketed it as a website for all kinds of creators to show their craft and get paid fairly. he's gotten quite a bit of heat since and been catapulted into stardom , showing up in talk shows , podcasts , interviews and even being invited for cameos in films and red carpets. with the money rolling in ... he'll take it happily.

[linkspooky]

Gojo and Mahito

Nanami and Gojo share several parallels as pointed out by Nanami in Chapter 22 of Jujutsu Kaisen. A connection between the two of them that’s developed to the point where we see Mahito steal a technique from Gojo (domain expansion activation for only a few microseconds) in the latest chapter. More on the parallels of Gojo and Mahito, because for both of them there’s more than meets the eye. 

1. Children with Too Much Power

Mahito parallels Gojo, but more specifically I believe he has the most in common with teenage Gojo we see in Hidden inventory. Especially on two key points. Both of them had immense strength that they hadn’t quite figured out yet.

Teenage Gojo, who was still figuring out the infinity and could not yet quite make the universe bend at the snap of his finger tips. In his introductory arc when Mahito was fighting Nanami, he was like a child figuring out how to use his body for the first time. 

Everything he does in that arc is out of a childish sense of curiosity. He gets to close to Junpei, to observe what will happen from prolonged interaction with a human. He toys around a long time with fighting Nanami because he’s still figuring out how his curse technique works. 

Unlike the other curses who seem to already exist knowing what they are, or have existed for years already long enough to figure themselves out, Mahito is actively learning about himself when he fights Nanami. 

Just like Gojo, being pushed to the brink of death by an incredibly powerful enemy, only seems to make Mahito bounce back stronger. Mahito and Gojo parallel each other in their comparison to Nanami. Simply put, Nanami is the most mature character in the series, he’s the role model for a normal, decent adult. 

While Gojo will drag children to battlefields, or take big bets with their lives, Nanami acts much more responsibility, with respect to the fact that Yuji is a child whose emotional well being he’s nurturing. 

Nanami is introduced to us as the opposite of Gojo, someone mature while Gojo is immature. He even says that he doesn’t respect him in the least bit. Gojo’s powerful, but he’s not grown up. Nanami even explains this quite logically, people don’t grow up by fighting bad guys, or getting stronger. People grow up by accumulating experiences. 

Gojo and Mahito are all powerful in ways that Nanami will never be, while at the same time they act like children. Especially teenage Gojo, but even adult Gojo doesn’t really like to get along well with other people, and decides everything based on his own emtoions and perspective. In other words both Gojo and Mahito have a tendency to be egocentric. 

Egocentric. 

thinking only of oneself, without regard for the feelings or desires of others; self-centered. 

2. The World Through Their Eyes

Mahito and Gojo are characters who appear childish and frivolous on the surface, but if you plunge their depths they have a deeper understanding of themselves and their desires than most ofther characters in the series. They might not get other people, but that’s not their priority either. In classic Jungian symbolism, shallow water belies greater depths. 

Gojo and Mahito are both extremely well thought characters, capable of immense amounts of self reflection. (Probably too much self reflection in Gojo’s case, he just loves looking at himself in the mirror a little too much how vain.) It not only shows in how much of themselves they have figured out but also their jujutsu. I think it’s safe to say that there is some resemblance between the infinity, and Mahito’s idle transifguration. Their Jujutsu makes them both privvy to the world that no one else can see. It’s unknown what Gojo can see with the six eyes exactly, but considering the limitless. 

You can infer that he’s capable of seeing much greater sensory perception than the normal person. Mahito doesn’t have the six eyes, but because his jujutsu is about altering the form of the soul, he has the unique ability to see the shape of the soul inside of the body.

Mahito can see through people’s bodies, and see down to their souls. However, his perceptiveness has caused him to give up on the idea that people have any individuality at all, that they have “hearts” you know like, thoughts and feelings and stuff. Which is why all humans are pretty much interchangable to him. Mahito can’t see life separate as him from having any particular value. 

Both of their cursed techniques create distance between themselves and others. Though in opposite ways. Gojo’s cursed technique is based around the idea that nothing can reach him, because it will always slow down in the infinite space between them. Mahito is able to completely change the shape of whatever he wants with one touch. 

However, at the same time this resembles how they both interact with other people. Mahito sees people as nothing more than toys to play with and experiment in developing his jujutsu technique on. He even is literally pictured in an official color illustration as destroying Junpei, Nobara, and Nanami as torn up dolls. They were just toys that he got bored with and threw away. 

Gojo can sometimes even share this tendency, not to mercilessly kill and slaughter of course not, but to be so far away from other people, and too busy perceiving the infinity that he can’t get caught up in ordinary lives. Remember, Mahito, Jogo and Hanami’s plan was to shake up Gojo with the sheer amount of people he would have to save in Shibuya, and it just... didn’t work. 

Gojo just isn’t that shaken up by the people he can’t save. He’s not Geto. He’s not Yuji. Of course he cares enough to try and minimize the damage, he could have just used unlimited domain to end the situation at the cost of everybody gathered, but he made a decision to try to balance between everybody’s lives, protecting his own, and exorcising the curses. 

Mahito and Gojo are both extremely distant from other people, but because of that they have a unique understanding of themlseves. Mahito’s domain expansion is called “Self Embodiment of Perfection.” When Gojo figures out reverse Jutsushiki he quotes the budha when he reached enlightenment. 

They are extremely isolated characters who have others plumbed the depths of themselves. Gojo’s goal is to be the best version of himself he can be, to push himself into being the strongest. Their individual will is so strong they want to impose it on the world around them. Gojo wants to reset the jujutsu world, Mahito wants a world of curses. 

They both encourage the other people around them to also think deeper about themselves, and how to evaluate themselves. Gojo tells Mahito to stop repressing himself for the sake of others. To try to be stronger individually instead of more of a team player. Instead of judging those around you, look inwardly. 

Mahito is furious that Yuji doesn’t evaluate himself, doesn’t think deeply about his own motivations. That’s what he criticizes Yuji for constantly, he doesn’t think for himself, he runs blindly into fights. Mahito calls their fight a clash of truth. Yuji has to know his own self, and know his belifs and know why his beliefs are better than Mahito’s if he wants to face him. 

Mahito and Gojo are both always looking inside of themselves, and that’s why their depths go much further than their seemingly shallow surface. If I were to make one last comparison between the two of them, I would say that the reason Mahito imitates Gojo is because his end goal is to become enlightened. What Mahito wants, is to be true to his nature, the truest embodiment of a curse in the series. He wants to reach an enlightenment like Gojo has where he has himself, his role in the world, completely and totally figured out. Where he embodies his own idealized sense of perfection. 

Which is why he imitates Gojo, the strongest. Though his is the opposite path, like a reflection of a mirror. If Gojo uses his power to be the model, the embodiment of a jujutsu sorcerer who exorcises curses to save human lives, then Mahito chooses to be the embodiment of a curse that plagues humans.

Mahito and Gojo both see through things, they can see what everybody else can’t, however they differ in how they use those perceptions. Gojo tethers himself to responsibility to other people, because he finds meaning in doing that, he thinks there’s a point in protecting and nurturing the weak because eventually he’ll be able to find strong comrades. Mahito however, believes in the opposite of camraderie. He can see through other people, so he acts like they’re not even there. Gojo is a character who while his tendency is to try do everything on his own, is currently waiting rescue from the strong comrades he focused so hard into training. While Mahito will most likely end up alone. 

[musette22]

Just some shipping & fandom things

So, these past few days, I’ve been getting and seeing some messages and posts about shipping culture and fandom/standom culture in general that have been bothering me a little, so I just want to make a quick post about it, and then I want to move on to all things lovely and beautiful again! ❤️ This is going to be a long one, so bear with me, and I’ll be pinning it to my profile somehow or at least refer to it whenever I get asks about any of this, because I am getting mighty tired of repeating myself all the time (and I’m sure most of you guys are getting tired of hearing me repeat myself too :p)

First of all, I want to make it clear that I am fully aware that Sebastian and Chris are actual, real-life people, and that they are strangers to me. They do not know me, and I do not know them, nor do I profess to know what they are really like in their private lives.

I understand that it can get confusing sometimes in the case of RPF, because a lot of the time, we speak about them in a way that makes it seem like they’re our friends, or we have all their secrets figured out. Obviously, we don’t. But to point that out with every single post we make would suck all of the fun out of stanning and shipping, as I’m sure everyone would agree.

But let me just say it here again: there is a reason I tag all my Evanstan posts with ‘rpf’ (real person fiction). My fics are fiction, as are my headcanons, which are mostly just a continuation of my fics. If I make an Evanstan post or answer an ask about Evanstan, my comments and answers are usually based on the speculative assumption that they are together. That is obviously something that I do not have any proof for and which might not be true. It is just something that I would really like to be true. Not saying it isn’t or can’t be true, just that I have no way of knowing this for sure and as such I am – for the sake of argument, for the sake of having fun within the safe space of fandom – only postulating that they are, because I enjoy thinking of them as being together, as I know a lot of you do too. And I don’t believe there is anything wrong with that, as long as we keep discussions based on that assumption within the fandom.

I do understand that some people will say this kind of behaviour is problematic, because what if the boys find out about what we’ve been saying about them and get uncomfortable, or what if they get girlfriends and people will start hating on those girlfriends because they believe they are getting in the way of ‘true love’ etc?

To that I would say: we are all responsible for our own behaviour. I am responsible for myself only, and I, personally, would never do anything with the express purpose of making the boys aware of our shipping activities. Shipping (including fic and fanart) is for us, and us only, and the vast majority of shippers I know understands that. I also would never harass, hate on or speak disdainfully about the boys’ loved ones, and that includes any past and future girlfriends (unless they turn out to be Trump supporters or animal abusers or what have you, in which case all rules are out the window, obviously :p) Moreover, I respect that the boys have private lives that I have no say over, and am in no way entitled to, and someone simply “getting in the way of my ship” or doing something that doesn’t fit my Evanstan headcanons/narrative will never be a reason for me to hate on them. I respect that their private life is private, and I am aware of the difference between my (hopeful) fantasies and reality.

If other people are not, or they can’t respect their faves personal boundaries and harass the boys or their loved ones for whatever reason, or they ask them improper or invasive questions at cons or show them fanfic or fanart, then they are crossing the line and that really sucks, but that is not my responsibility. Everyone is responsible for their own behaviour, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable of me to assert that I am not going to let other people’s behaviour dictate mine.  

Shipping aside, I just want to say that just as I am aware that Chris and Sebastian are real-life people (as opposed to my personal dolls, my babies, my responsibility, my friends), I also know that they are human. Like every other human, they have flaws. They are not saints and I am not and never will be their apologist if they ever do something that is clearly wrong. Having said that, I do not see the point of purposely looking for flaws in other people and putting them under a magnifying glass. I genuinely don’t. What good is that going to do? We’re all just trying to live our lives as best we can here, and of course we’re going to make mistakes, but, even though I’m not religious in the slightest, I guess that Jesus guy had a point when he apparently said that thing about casting the first stone…

As some of you will know, I am a person who likes to have a positive outlook on life and give people the benefit of the doubt, because in my experience, more often than not people can learn from their mistakes and grow. That includes me, by the way. I am so far from flawless, but I do try to learn from my mistakes and use instances where I am wrong to grow and become a better person, instead of letting them turn me bitter or spiteful. Needless to say, I’m not a fan of cancel culture either. Of course, sometimes people’s behaviour is inexcusable, for instance when they do something that is genuinely harmful to others, or they keep repeating the same mistakes, showing that they just don’t care enough to change their toxic behaviour. Those people are truly problematic and I will treat them as such.

Clearly, however, this is not the case for Chris and Sebastian so far. They have shown themselves to be decent people over and over again, so unless/until they do something that’s genuinely problematic, I am giving them the benefit of the doubt. Because that’s what they deserve. That’s what everyone who tries to be a decent human deserves, actually, not just “my faves.” This does not mean I’m bending over backwards to justify their behaviour – it simply means that most of the time (such with the facemask or the Paul situation) I genuinely don’t see anything wrong with their behaviour. And when I do (yes, it happens!) I try to approach the situation with an open attitude (as I would for anyone else) to see if that behaviour was the result of ill judgment, or stupidity/intentional malice. So far, it’s been ill judgement every time, in my opinion.

Now, not everyone has to agree with me, of course. Like I always make a point of stressing, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, as long as it’s not harmful to others, or posited as The Truth, which would give people a carte blanche to play judge and executioner over other people. That’s not cool.

Literally everyone on this planet is unique. We all have our unique outlook on life which shapes our unique opinions. Most people agree on some things, and not on others. That’s fine. I have made it a point with this blog, within fandom, not to publicly pass judgment over other people. Sure, I have my private opinions just like everyone else, but I am not and will never openly shame or hate on people for liking something or shipping something, even if it’s not my cup of tea. If you want to fantasise about being with/having a relationship with Chris or Sebastian, that’s great, you do you! As long as you don’t start to confuse fantasy with reality (which most people won’t) there is nothing wrong with that. Likewise, if you want to ship Stony, I am not going to tell you it’s wrong or you can’t, but please extend me the same courtesy and don’t come into my corner of the fandom to tell me I shouldn’t ship Stucky, either. Ship and let ship.

We each enjoy fandom in our own ways. It’s not a competition. There is no right way, and we should stop acting like there is.

If I see something I don’t like or don’t agree with, I scroll past it or ignore it. If I still can’t let it go, I will talk to friends about it in private. If it’s something that I believe is genuinely problematic or toxic, I try, if possible, to create awareness and understanding of that issue in a way that will actually help people learn and grow. 

So, this is my long winded way of saying that it would be so nice if people could stop policing the fandom. Being hateful, condescending, or making generalizing statements such as “the problem with this fandom is…” isn’t actually helping. It’s not changing anything about the situation you believe to be problematic, it’s just adding negativity to it. Instead, why don’t we all just devote our energy to spreading positivity and being kind to others? Generally speaking, hate begets hate, and kindness begets kindness. Mind you, kindness does not equate to weakness. It’s possible to be kind and strong, as I believe Chris and Sebastian both prove.

[rpbetter]

I genuinely don’t think the problem is as deep as people are seeing it as, with that whole resource blog and vent blog drama. I was there when it began, and it started because someone sent a submission that was recognizable enough to trace to that resource blog, who ended up calling themself out, and then a bunch of people dogpiling them, and then it turned into the 2021 edition of good old tumblr wank, mocking sockpuppets included. I essentially watched a bunch of 30 year olds call each other doodooheads like a couple kids on the playground, but at least kids forgive and forget after a day or two.

That’s probably why they’re avoiding this situation like the plague. The first time a submission went through about that resource blog, it made people feud like the Montagues and Capulets. Obviously they don’t wanna risk fueling that type of drama again. If it’s true that they aren’t letting these submissions through and it isn’t tied to reasons like tumblr eating the ask, then it’s probably because they don’t wanna be involved in this drama anymore. And I don’t blame them, because honestly, even as an observer I’m tired of seeing it, I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be for y’all who are actually involved. Geez. Who even has the energy for this much drama anyway? I’m tired just getting outta bed.

Sorry, Anon, I really had to!

Anyway, I'm sorry it took forever to get to your message, not only did I need a break from this, I needed to space out things related to it, it had taken over the blog. I appreciate that, despite how over it all you are, you were polite about how you feel. I know that is not always easy, and I do really appreciate it!

I hope that you don't feel I am being hostile to you about anything I say, it isn't meant that way. Differences of opinion, when not expressed hatefully, are always welcome here. I'm just going to try to express some of this situation from another perspective, and full disclosure, I'm pretty pissed off about it whether or not I actively want to be. This did impact my hobby, it did hurt people I care about, and I cannot believe such an unnecessary act lead to shit that is still going on.

On the first point...most things aren't as deep as we're given to feel they are after we've been made to feel incredibly unsafe, targeted, repeatedly let down and lied to, and experienced an astronomical level of sketchy behavior out of muns in a position that one is supposed to have some minor level of responsibility (as well as decent comportment) within. So, maybe it isn't that deep, but at this point, I very much cannot blame people for their concerns and suspicions.

And it was incredibly sketchy. CoaR, I'm just going to say it, everyone knows of which blog we're speaking at this point, did all of the following, breaking their own rules for moderation repeatedly:

allowed an actual, openly stated, callout blog to interact with their posts

allowed a meme blog to use their posts for the point of off-blog drama mongering, callouts, and outing themselves

would not moderate this situation as stated in their rules, when they've a bit of nasty record in the not too distant past of mass-blocking for far less and far more questionable reasons

did bother to post about how they weren't getting involved, as though this did not break multiple rules and absolutely is one's problem if it is your vent blog someone is using to create and foster bullying - simply giving the bizarre statement that blocking won't help anyone, when that isn't the point at all lol the point is being intolerant of people using your blog, that has to operate on a basis of being as safe a place as possible for venting (which is drama), this is about a stance and blog security, not being anyone's parent

just as weirdly vaguely threatening everyone first with all the mods "watching," because that's not actually implying an Orwellian parental role no one asked for, then with Sky once again misunderstanding the difference between being a " disciplinarian" and an ass

consistent lack of transparency on all counts

and then, yeah, there is the choice of publishing submissions/rebuttals combined with all of this and those submissions/rebuttals being what they are - not all related to "the drama," or in violation of the rules either, but the apparent willingness to publish them from one side of "the drama" there for a bit

I cannot blame people for feeling like all of this combined is a legitimately sketchy situation. One in which they've already, again, been made to feel unsafe within because COAR was used as a list for callouts.

When people see someone like Raven getting wildly different treatment by not being so much as warned, they're going to feel suspicion about the mod(s). It makes it so much worse that they chose to make the statements they did instead of a transparent, reasonable one like, "We apologize that CoaR was used the way it was, we should have blocked the callouts blog right away, but didn't. To reiterate the rules we've had in place for years, this blog is never to be used for callouts or taking bullying off-blog. Due to how widespread the problem has become, we will not be publishing anything related to it any longer. Submissions will be deleted so we can begin putting this behind us."

Acknowledge fault, apologize for it, say what you're doing to mitigate it now. That's it. Don't actively make it worse!

About the submissions...I know I'm alone in having tested that out. It isn't limited to things that either break the rules or are related to the issue. It's very select topics that are a bit uncomfortably aligned with the bias displayed, and from very select blogs. That's a problem. It's not selectively publishing based on drama-avoidance or rules, what CoaR has always done and no one here is taking an issue with.

I have 0 interest in things like trackers, they're far too easy/tempting to use maliciously for most people, and at the very best, they foster an environment of paranoia. What I know about them comes from really minimal personal experience (I wanted to see what posts people were most interested in on another blog, but it felt creepy with the amount of information I had, so I dropped that very fast) and what mutuals who use them have told me/questions they've answered.

So, is it possible the mod(s) is selectively deleting submissions from blogs they feel are a problem? Yes, it is totally possible. Do I know that for a fact? No, I totally do not. My point is that this is exactly the sort of paranoia that takes off when too many suspicious things happen back to back. You begin seeking the answers you are not getting, and you're seeking them because every day for a month or two, your experience logging in has been one of what the fresh hell. It's a need to insulate yourself from further exposure to harassment.

It's a very simple formula: act sketchy, people look at you like you're sketchy.

And I'm not going to condemn anyone for that.

I will also say that, unless several people deleted their comments or have me blocked in multiple places they somehow know of and take issue with, I did not see what you are describing when I read over the total explosion that happened...what, like a month, two months ago at this point? It was very fresh at the time.

What I saw was someone having submitted about a meme blog screenshotting their mutual's rules. Raven going off about it in a reblog. Two commentators trying to discuss the issue and finally, just saying they weren't surprised what meme blog it was once Raven outted themselves like a fully hinged individual interested in following CoaR's rules.

One of those s commentators is a friend, the mun whose rules were in the posts is a friend. I've never been anything but transparent about that. I'm also familiar with some of the other parties who ended up going on hiatus, but only from discussions on the vent blog over the years. So, yes, I do have personal investment here, and I do not feel like any of those people telling Raven and the callout blog they were at least involved with that their behavior was bullshit can be equated to immature shit slinging. There were even two muns who repeatedly tried to have a civil conversation with Raven, specifically, and for their efforts, got some of the most wildly juvenile treatment.

The worst things I saw came from hate anons and the callout blog.

The people receiving that treatment were largely driven off tumblr. For a time, forever, it differs with all of them. So, I feel like saying that about the thirty-year-olds thing is a little off. I'm not trying to be shitty, Anon, but the muns who tried to address Raven's bullshit were all of that age range. They're definitely continuing the drama, they're not here. They can't feel comfortable enough to be on their own blogs still.

I also am required ethically to say that we all really need to stop with throwing around ages like this. Again, I'm not trying to be hostile to you, Anon. I've been trying to show other people's perspective in this (it doesn't matter if you agree or not, I just think it's important to understanding, stopping, and prevent problems to have a fuller perspective that we often lack because we are incredibly tired of whatever is going on, and you're right, we are all really damn tired and also Tired), and as it is an advice blog, I try to address problems here. The pervasive ageism in the tumblr RPC is a problem.

It's a problem that gets discussed when it involves adults not wanting to interact with minors and, as I've seen it put several times, "treating them like the plague." There are a billion "conversations" and complaints about that, but there aren't many at all when it comes to the RPC's bizarre ideas about what age constitutes an adult (you're an actual child until around 23, you're ancient and need to die already, you pedo, at 26) and what being an adult actually is.

You do not turn thirty and lose your hobbies. You also do not turn thirty and become an ultra-mature adult, no leveling up into arcane Adult Knowledge and Behavior unlocks when you wake up on your thirtieth birthday. Between the ages of 17 and 27, you go through so many rapid changes in your cognition, but it levels off considerably after that. You're largely the same person at 32 as you were at 27, and you cannot say that about being...17 and 20, 22 and 25. It begins to take longer to see changes in who you are, those changes are less extreme - your personality, preferences, and viewpoints remain largely the same, they just refine a little here and there.

There is no line at which people "should" stop engaging in any hobby, and it's incredibly gross that the RPC seems to think anyone out of college-age should have no interests, let alone passionate ones, outside of going to work, having a family, and paying bills. That's a bit horrifyingly 1950's isn't it? It's also really misogynistic, considering that the primary base of the RPC is female or afab. When you deal in this, you're literally telling thirty-year-old people with uteruses that they should have no interests outside of birthing children and caring for them.

This isn't what you were doing, Anon, but it's part of the tumorous growth of this ideology that we casually throw around things like "a bunch of 30-year-olds" to make a point. We've seriously got to stop doing that, it isn't a message that most of us would agree with. There are other ways of saying "I think these people should behave more maturely since they're adults."

If I said something like, "well, they were just in their mid-twenties lol what do you expect?" I'd get hate anons, pants would be shat in, and more importantly, it would be wrong. That needs to work both ways, this isn't a separate issue.

An issue that repeatedly comes down to the absurdity of finding differences and drawing lines into cages around people in an environment in which we have the freedom to be more equal than in offline reality. We're all just people here, all just writing and interacting and loving characters. That's all we need to be, and all we need to be judged on is our behavior.

I'm sorry that anyone behaved in a grossly inappropriate manner during any and all of this. It was a heated thing that came to involve too many people and too much harassment, and those are factors that will always see people behaving in ways they would not normally engage in.

And like I said, you don't become some wise master of maturity at thirty! There is a problem mun I'm currently dealing with on another blog that is my age who is one of the most immature people I have ever run into. I have mutuals and friends in the early to mid-twenties who I'm confident weren't as childish as this mun when they were literal children. So, do people thirty and over behave in a seriously unbecoming, childish as hell manner? Yes, they so do! Whether it should be this way or not, you can't expect everyone to be at the same maturity level psychologically at any given age. To me, that just says that I shouldn't age-type people negatively. It isn't relevant where their behavior is.

Otherwise, I'm holding people at some nebulous age over thirty to higher expectations than other equally adult-range people. It isn't acceptable for anyone to behave in the ways I witnessed and was subjected to. It's not even acceptable in teenagers, it's just more understandable (not excusable) because they're working with many things they quite literally cannot control at all times. To act this way is telling everyone below thirty that they're just immature, irresponsible, dicks. It's insulting to them to be labeled in this way, too, even if too many of them see it as a free pass and are, thus, okay with it right now. They won't be, eventually.

Anyway, again, I'm not trying to be shitty to you! I don't think you meant anything in your message in a nasty way, and I cannot say how much I appreciate that after the bullshit brought to this blog and that I've been dealing with privately to help some of those affected feel like the RPC is a place they're safe and welcome in again.

I am definitely tired! Everyone else involved is as well. At least, on what I have to term as "this side" of the equation. I cannot speak to the other side, obviously, but I think they got tired enough of it not being tolerated to be quiet at least. When you make it unfun for people like that, that's usually what happens, after all.

So, I don't think it's them trying to continue the drama. Most of the people I know have remained in their corners happily or been obliged to leave for a while. As for the other people with suspicions...like I said, there are a lot more factors going on here than wanting to perpetuate drama. Sometimes, when we try to make ourselves feel safe, vindicated/vindicate a friend, there isn't any other option but to have the topic come up or breed into suspicions, correct or incorrect ones.

It's a situation that CoaR had a great deal of culpability in, and as such, had a lot of power to mitigate this well before it got to suspicions of who was modding the blog. That wasn't done, and won't be. Like Raven's antics, I have to feel like they've brought some of this on themselves. I do not and will not condone any hate messages sent their way, but again, right or wrong, people do have a right to feel the way they are.

If I were you, I'd stay as far away from it as possible. I don't go on CoaR unless I have to in order to answer something. I had a single blog blocked over here until this all went down (hilariously, it happened to be one that was involved, too, sometimes the red flags are legit, folks), now I have a sadly large number of them. It's now added to liberally, and I hate to do that, I like this blog to be open even to people who disagree with me. I can't deal with the constant drama, though, and I'm not going to be in a new callout every month until I die. Outside of being true to my word about accepting any and all vent messages, I don't want to see it, I don't want to be involved with it. I tag the posts so that followers can filter it, but I'm not going to function as a semi-callout blog by telling people who they should avoid. Just that they should avoid anyone who is making them feel this tired and done. Myself included.

I hope things have settled down in your corner of the RPC since you sent this! They have over here, thankfully. I think most people are staying away from the vent blog and hoping a new and better one comes along. It's back to the usual drama of "stop calling muns pedos for aging up characters."

[ludopisgone]

ReyloCon

Hello everyone, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing this with a heavy heart. ReyloCon used to be something I was truly excited to be a part of, and I feel that the joy I had has been taken away. I’ll probably leave this fandom as well, as it has been proven to be toxic and way too fast paced (and I am talking specifically about Twitter, where most of the community has found their home).

I struggled long and hard with the decision to post this - personally, I just want to be over and done with this. But now that the call for "minority creators" has gone out, I just want to protect people from getting hurt in the same way I was. In addition to that a new survey has gone out, and I'll explain why it's an issue for me later in this post. I have tried to reach out to members of ReyloCon in private, but all I received was silence.

I got into the ReyloCon Discord server as soon as it was created, because I found some tweets about it. Being very excited about it, I started planning about what could have been, writing in a Google doc every workshop/activity/panel I could come up with and invited other people to the doc hoping that they could add something of their own. That doc is still something I hold close to my heart, it’s simply the very first step towards a more completed spreadsheet that would have been created later to keep track of everything.

I’ve collected these screenshots from a very early conversation I had with one of the “leaders” of ReyloCon. Details about my complaints under the cut.

EDIT: I want to clarify that I don't wish for the con to be canceled. I am still enamoured with the idea of a con for reylos by reylos. I don't wish I'll to any of the organizers any. Maybe all I'm looking for is an apology, but I can safely say that even I don't know what I want from them. I wanted for me to get this off my chest. I needed to do so.

When the formative meetings were called, it was not taken into account that I was not available at 2-3 in the morning because I’m mentally ill and take medication to regulate my sleep cycle. I was then blamed for missing those meetings. Could they not have been rescheduled? Or the results shared with me? Could some form of accommodation not have been found?

I brought a lot of ideas to the table, and several of them are still being used. Good enough to use but I’m not good enough to receive the credit or remain part of the team? I found it especially insulting that the Ancient Mythology project was taken away from me - an Italian, and was given to a BNF from another country. This is something that closely resembles cultural appropriation, it’s not your history, you don’t have a language formed by Latin and Ancient Greek for at least a good 80%. You probably have never seen a Roman anything, or a Greek vase. That’s my history. It’s not yours. It’s Italian history. 

The final nail in the coffin was a simple miscommunication. As you can see, I was asked if I could do some research so that we knew what to ask to creators. I should also point out that even though my English is decent, there’s definitely a language barrier. I will never understand English the way that a native speaker does, and that’s just because it’s not my language. I decided to contact these creators because I like them and think they’re great. I’ve since spent much time listening their YouTube videos. As you can see, we see that message from two different perspectives, hers from a “implication” side, and mine from a “didn’t say it, didn’t mean it” side. I decided to leave the Discord server after asking her if I should have and got out of the private messages and I realize now it was a mistake. I contacted one of the mods to get back into the server to talk with this leader so that I could at least explain my point of view.

As you can see from the screenshots it didn’t end well. I tried to reason with this leader and I tried my best not to remove myself from this situation, because that’s what happens to me when confrontation happens due to past trauma. I don’t take it badly when people tell me to calm down, because I know it can get too fast in my mind. And then the objectives. I didn’t know what their objectives were because, to put it simply, they were nowhere to be found. I was asked how old I was and to somehow “prove my credentials” like having passion for a shared project isn’t enough to give what you can give. I did say I was going to reach out to these creators, they didn’t tell me not to do it.As I understand, US American non-profits must be accessible and transparent - ReyloCon in its present state is neither.Is this the kind of thing you support? Is this the kind of people you want in your project? Can anyone be blamed for not wanting to be any part of this? Look at this whole mess, and this is from one of your “leaders”? They try to style themselves into a "safe space" for minority creators. And yet they expelled me for being a minority creator. There is no place for non-US folks on this team, and any attempt on their part to be "inclusive" can safely be taken as mere lip-service.Non-US fans need not apply.

TLDR: They stole my ideas, are still profiting from the work I put in, and then they kicked me out because I have health issues, don’t understand English perfectly, and live in a different timezone.

[just99wbdesign]

How to Find the Right Web Design Company?

"A man's blunders are his entries of revelation."

What does the above citation pass on? To have an entrance, you need to submit botches. Isn't so amusing? Actually no, not under any condition. It could be a spurring sentence, yet in business it can end up being Judgment day for little new companies with little speculations. This article has been done particularly for little new businesses who need to make it in their individual fields and are intending to dispatch their site or searching for a facelift or adding new functionalities to there existing site or aren't certain about their plan necessities.

Picking a Web Design Company

With a large number of website specialists and designers out there, from consultants, to offices, to online layouts, how would you understand what the correct fit is for your organization, and all the more significantly, for your objectives and targets? Picking a website composition organization isn't that a genuine work. Yet, picking a decent website composition organization is a genuine test. Individuals say that Internet has made business measures straightforward and worldwide, yet what about the intricacies that Internet offers which are exceptional. Simply Search for the expression "Great Web Design Firm" on Google, and it concocts a large number of results. For typical person it's difficult to look through each outcome. We will go through the whole cycle of choosing a Web Design and Development organization in an organized manner.

 Stage 1 - Planning

The initial step includes characterizing your requirements. While looking for the correct website specialist, it is imperative to have an unmistakable thought which job your new Web webpage or an overhauled one will fill. Will it give data to your clients? Will it serve the necessities of your workers? Or then again will it incorporate a web based shopping segment with the goal that you can offer your items to guests? Most Web fashioners should know the accompanying:

o The job of your new Web website.

o The expected market or crowd of your Web website.

o Your spending plan.

Set aside some effort to consider what you anticipate from your Web webpage and the sort of data you need to convey to your possible customers before you approach your originator. This will save you and the originator a lot of time and exertion.

Stage 2 - Searching and Creating a Primary rundown

Looking is a vivacious interaction and doesn't need any extraordinary expertise other than ingenuity to viably think of good outcomes that satisfy your necessities. Simply filter through catalogs, check Google postings on explicit watchword look and request references from your companions or colleagues. It doesn't need to be an extremely broad examination work.  agency 99

Reference: Ask business associates, companions, and family which website composition firm planned the site for their particular associations, or in the event that they can in any case suggest a website composition firm.

Sites: Determine the website composition firm that is liable for the sites of associations that you appreciate. These associations might be your rivals, or in related or inconsequential enterprises. Some of the time the website architecture firm is remembered for the webpage credits, or is recorded somewhere else on the site. In the event that you can't discover the credits on the actual webpage, don't hesitate to contact the association and ask which website architecture firm is liable for the site. This can likewise be a decent hotspot for references for that website architecture firm.

Stage 3 - Evaluating and Short posting

Whenever you have accumulated a rundown of potential website composition firms you are prepared to pare them down to a waitlist. This requires a touch of exploration work.

o Portfolio - It's about the three C's - Credibility, Consistency and Capability. How steady they are? What are the boundaries on which the organization is adequately skilled to satisfy your prerequisite? Are there any tributes that talk about their believability? Do the ventures in the portfolio have a predictable quality? Have they reliably given great outcomes in the given time span? Has the Web configuration organization given answers for different organizations in your industry? Have they managed comparable difficulties to those looked by your association? These are some significant components to consider. At the point when you've limited your hunt to a couple of configuration sources (through suggestions, web catalogs, or your rivals' destinations), assess their online portfolios and their rate structure. A site doesn't need to be gaudy or enlivened to take care of its work. Peruse destinations they have fabricated, check simplicity of route, association of data, generally speaking neatness and guest agreeableness. Likewise, consider recruiting a firm that exhibits some knowledge of your kind of business. Simply go through the examples of overcoming adversity/contextual investigations that have been made accessible on their site and authenticate the qualifications through references if conceivable.

o Experience and Fees - This is known as the EF of website composition firm. Experience and expenses are a lot of between related. The overall standard is the more experienced you are, the more you are paid. This fascinating story can enlighten you about experience.

Some time ago there was a steam creating plant that was not delivering a lot of steam. After a baffling quest for the reason, the plant administrator, in urgency, brought in a specialist. After just two hours on location, the master discovered the issue and set "X's" on two lines that were causing the issue, saying that they must be eliminated. When given the bill, the plant director asked the specialist how he could charge $5,000.00 for just two hours of work. At the point when he requested a separated bill, this is the thing that he got:

1. $400.00 - Placing "X's" on two lines.

2. $4,600.00 - Knowing where to put the "X's".

The plant director got what he paid for and presumably significantly more. He had effectively spent more than that sum on his own staff also the misfortune in income while the plant was closed down. As far as he might be concerned, getting the warning administrations of a specialist was the best activity.

It is important a great deal if the organization has a decent involvement with different business spaces and has experts and experts from variegated foundations. As such they will have a comprehension of various business verticals that might be a beneficial point for your site. Another significant factor is financial plan. What you pay is the thing that you get - WYPIWYG. Never bargain with the nature of your site only for saving not many fast bucks. Over the long haul you will wind up on a losing side. Have you at any point envisioned why American precious stones cost less and than genuine jewels when on occasion it's hard to separate between the two? It's self-evident - the brightness and hardness of precious stone. This makes another fascinating point, you can complete a corrective medical procedure for your site for a lesser expense, however it will do not have the functionalities and adequacy. It can draw guests yet can not transform them into business. So when you pay for something, you certainly receive a decent arrangement consequently.

o Technology - What is their innovative skill? Does this match with your prerequisite? What number of tasks they have dealt with utilizing something very similar? How oftentimes their innovation is overhauled both regarding programming and equipment?

o Deadlines - Has the organization done the tasks in specified time? Time is quite possibly the main components as the more it takes, the higher the info costs get. A few organizations may offer you a more limited time span and might be prepared with the plan. However, after that begins the long and blistering excursion of finding and fixing bugs which may kill your guests.

o Responsiveness - How quickly the organization reacts to your questions? Does it tune in to your inquiries? It is safe to say that they are receptive to my ideas and questions? Do they clarify issues in manners you can get it? Do they share your overall vision for the site? Is it true that they are keen on Return on Investment for the site? Do they have what it takes important to accomplish your objectives?

o Communication Process - Poor correspondence is one of the significant bottlenecks for business measures. Guarantee that the organization with which you are working is alright with your language. For the most part, English (US/UK) is taken as the favored language to speak with one another. What are the apparatuses and advances they use for conveying? How might they keep you refreshed with the improvements with respects your undertaking? These are a portion of the significant variables that ought to be remembered while choosing about the correspondence interaction while picking a Web Design accomplice.

o Services - What are different administrations that organization can offer other than planning? What sort of significant worth added items or administrations can the plan firm offer?

Every one of these focuses will assist you with narrowing down to the rundown of organizations that may offer you reasonable arrangements and help your motivation. The following stage includes welcoming proposition from the short recorded gatherings. Simply check through as many cross references that you discover legitimate or will fulfill your interest. The additional time you will put resources into this stage, the better will be the profits a short time later.

Stage 4-Proposals

Whenever you have chosen your short-rundown of top web advancement firms, demand that they send you a proposition. Ask that their proposition incorporate an outline of your prerequisites and their proposed arrangement. This will assist with figuring out which website composition firm comprehends your prerequisites best. Likewise ask that each website composition firm incorporate a portrayal of their improvement interaction and a value breakdown for the different parts of the site project.

Stage 5 - Evaluating Proposals

Assess every proposition independently based on merit. Contemplate the accompanying focuses:

a) Wellness of the proposition.

b) Respective strength and shortcomings of the organizations.

c) Evaluate the show and organization style.

Stage 6 - Selecting the Company

After your association has evaluated all recommendations, contrast them and one another. How would they passage regarding show? How do their cycles show up regarding project the executives? Do they present adaptability

[itszephoria]

Saw this pop up and your followers ask you which ones they’re interested in. But people don’t really ask much when I post or they don’t ask the ones that might make you feel uncomfortable. And well, honestly I’m so bored that I’ve decided to break all the damn rules and just answer all the questions because I can. *shock horror*

So information dump on the ‘Be nosy’ that popped up in my feed today. If you’re interested.

Be nosy

1. What’s your sexual orientation? 

Straight. But maybe for the right woman I could sway but wouldn’t go so far as to call myself bi or bi-curious though.

2. What are you obsessed with right now? 

Obsessively obsessing about my health and how to get well and failing it all. Oh and anime movies on Netflix.

3. Ever done any drugs?

I do drugs everyday. But I assume this is referring to illegal. No and was strictly no up until recently. I now take marijuana oil on a regular basis for pain management. Also being stoned/high is not pleasant and I don’t understand why people would enjoy that as a leisurely pastime.

4. What piercings do you want?

I want to get my ears pierced again. Holes have closed up, but currently due to my health that’s not possible. I can’t even enjoy clipons :(

5. How many people have you kissed?

The massive number of 5.

6. Describe your dream home.

It’s tiny in the sense it has all the space I need. A cosy tiny-like home. But not one on wheels, fixed to the ground. And it would be made of all natural materials, stone and wood. It would be unique and resemble something out of a fairy tale. It would sit a beautiful clearing with only nature to view in the distance and all the animals and wildlife would stay well away because I’m pretty much terrified of all it, 

7. Who are you jealous of?

Healthy, painfree people. I am jealous of past me who didn’t realise how lucky she was and miss her.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

I don’t binge any show on repeat. I’d rather look for a new show to watch or enjoy, there are so many. The last shows I binged in two days was Queen’s Gambit and Emily in Paris.

9. Do you watch porn?

Yep. But struggle with it because it’s overdramatic, unrealistic and would kill or someone to make porn with a decent storyline with people that can act. 

I prefer to read it if I’m honest or maybe just write it for myself.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

Sort of? More like my other one I used I was known for all my slash writings in F1. But now I just hang out here.

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

No where. The world is riddled with co-vid and well, I’m probably in one of the safest countries and I’m at risk of death should I catch it. So I’ll stay here in my safe bubble.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

I wake up tomorrow and I’m not me. I wake up and I can take a deep breath without gasping for air, I wake up in no pain, I wake up and my body isn’t terribly scared, I wake up and can have a ‘normal’ life.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Nope and no desire too. Won’t that just hurt?

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

I’d by that dream house I described, set everything up to be self sufficient. Pay and travel to try every cure available for my diseases. And then bank the rest and live off interest. Or maybe donate it. I don’t want money and I don’t really want a lot of things.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Yep and it’s a struggle and am constantly fighting to prove it’s worth continuing. Oh and that’s a relationship with myself.

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

No.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

No, I suppose it’s more disappointed and let down by people more than angry. I’m working everyday on letting it go but it’s not easy.

18. What tattoos do you want?

I have always wanted one, but have never found something that I really loved and haven’t been imaginative enough to create something unique. The older I get though, I’m not sure I want one. I did for the longest time though think about getting a Ferrari tattooed on my inner wrist, but pleased I never did that. I don’t love the sport or Ferrari enough anymore to want a permanent reminder of that.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I am changing name actually. Hoping to action that in the next two weeks. I would have done it earlier but they closed the borders. I have a dutch sir name that has two words. It confuses every one, systems don’t get it, it has caused issues with plane tickets. And well I’ve decided no more and am dumping a portion of it.

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

This is a duplicate. Skipping.

21. Describe your best friend.

When you meet her for the first time she can be a little crazy and wild, and she kind of scared at me first because she’s so unlike me. But as you got to know her, the *real* her she doesn’t let people see, you realise how kind and soft she is, and she’s the most empathic person I have known. She gives so much of herself to everyone, thinks so little of herself and her needs because she’s one of the most selfless people I know. I love her more than most of my family and would do anything for her.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Is this followers? Uh most I don’t know what they look like? I assume they’re all hot!

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Don’t have any really. My music is varied and is based on my mood and really changes around. And with most bands, I generally lean towards one or two songs. This is one of those questions I really struggle with whenever I see it. Will say however, have been enjoying The Beatles recently and a bit of old school stuff.

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Japan. Norway. Canada.

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

Generally hanging out with people I like. Enjoying a good wine, some cheese, either playing some board game or dungeons and dragons, or watching a really good movie. Good company makes any night a good night.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Autumn. One because I think it’s neglected as a choice and every season should be loved, and two because I love the colours of autumn and the colours associated with autumn. 

27. What’s your pet peeve?

I’m sure I have a heap of them, but currently it’s people that have an issue with you and instead of being an adult and talking to you about them choose to silence and blank you. I’m so tired of it, I’ve quit being peacemaker in those situations, those people are no longer worthy in my book.

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

Uh... I don’t think anyone I know is super funny. Friends and family all have a good sense of humor. But out of my circle of life people I’m always told I’m the funny one, which I find the biggest joke ever. 

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

Can not think of anything off the top of my head. I will say if I think a movie is getting too much hype I refuse to watch it, whether all the reviews are raving or not. It’s why I didn’t watch Harry Potter for like ten years or any of the new Star Wars movies. I just refuse to be apart of all the hype and jump on bandwagons.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

I’d love to talk to everyone. I’m shy to start any conversations to be honest and I think all the people I talk to regularly were the first to message me, and I love them for it.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

100% love an old fashioned paper book. The texture of the paper. The smell of a book. That being said, I don’t think I’ve picked up a proper book to read in years. I live in fan fiction more than anything or am busy writing myself.

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Any of the disney worlds, anything from the past, or verging on fantasy like. I want a simpler time not full of technology which I grow to hate more each day. The older I get the more I’m pretty sure I’ve been born in the wrong decade.

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

I’d build the perfect wardrobe capsule. Everything would be of high quality, not necessarily brand name and all the clothes would be sourced from ethical businesses or be handmade.

I like classic pieces, love the fashion of the 50′s and 60s and while stylish it would be comfortable to wear and everything could be worn in public (sorry comfy tracky pants).

34. What’s your coffee order?

There ain’t no coffee order. I don’t drink it. Sorry @leoni-speedyf1 I know how addicted you are to it, happy to buy you anything you like though :P

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

In real life? No one.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

Not romantic. I have feelings in that I hope they’re doing well, achieving what they want and they’re all happy. I didn’t have any ‘bad’ breakups and all my relationships ended very amicably.

37. Have any tattoos?

No. See above for more on this.

38. Do you drink?

Rarely. Can’t with medication and condition. But on occasion I do enjoy a good glass of red. Pinot Noir is my preference. 

39. Are you a virgin?

Nope.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Not in a romantic way? The ones I talk to regularly I love immensely though.

41. How many followers do you have?

99

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Uh all the men I know I am not attracted to. Probably a good thing as they’re either family or partnered with a friend or family member.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Can’t think of anything. I try not to feel guilt for anything I enjoy to be honest, whether it’s food or an activity. Life is too short for that.

44. Do you read erotica?

Yep. Even write it.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

It was a few years back. I met this guy online and we went to the city and spent most of that time just strolling next to the river for our first meet up. Why was it the worst date ever? Well it wasn’t the location that’s for sure.

The guy had two kids, and I’m a firm believer all parents have favourites, though I have yet to meet a parent that will voice that aloud. This guy, had no qualms with telling me about this favourite kid, and that wouldn’t be a problem if didn’t spend just as much putting down his younger son. It kind of left me reeling and wondering how his son felt if his dad didn’t hide just how much he didn’t like him as a person. The kid was four and the reason his dad didn’t like him was because he didn’t like bikes.

And so the guy was a bmx rider so he spent the rest of the time on our walk just pointing out all the tricks he could do. He didn’t ask about me, only talked about himself. It was also lunch time and assumed we would get something to eat together, but nope, no food was offered. And when I suggested to get something to drink because it was so hot and we’d been out in the sun for like an hour, he just took me to a subway and told me to get a drink and waved me to the line. No offer to join me, no offer to pay (which doesn’t bother me btw, but this was capping off a terrible day), no offer to get food.

I was so happy to get out of there. Didn’t speak to him again once I had left.

46. How many people do you follow?

I currently follow 59 people. I don’t follow anyone that creates drama, and try and follow only people that post about F1 as that’s all I use tumblr for now.

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Either Sebastian Vettel or Ryan Reynolds. Both are married though, so I don’t think that’s going to turn into a reality anytime soon.

48. Describe your ideal partner.

I want someone that shares the same core values as me. Doesn’t want kids, isn’t super religious (grew up in a cult like religion so I avoid it now), is on the minimalist side and isn’t someone that needs new things things all the time or is desperate to replace something the moment they deem it out of date. Someone that doesn’t live their life on social media. Someone that prefers simple things, someone who is kind and giving, and someone that truly loves me - and it’s the last part that I struggle with finding more than anything with all the guys I have dated. 

I am currently not looking for a partner, I am not in a place for a relationship and am fully focused on myself. And I am very content with that decision.

49. Who do you text the most?

Currently my bestie.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Clear blue skies and a warm day to enjoy the sun. But there are times when I simply love the rain, hearing it on the room, watching it fall endlessly and knowing that everything will be green from it.

[gulgbtqplus]

EGM candidates

Our EGM is on October 9th, 2020. If you would like to run for any position, please fill out this form https://forms.gle/EMdnNa7Nr7ybah7E6! We will be updating this list as responses come in.

VP Secretary

1) Robyn (they/them)

GULGBTQ+ has been a real lifeline for me (like many others) since I started university and especially now in my 3rd year in the middle of a pandemic. And so I would love to be VP Sec to give back, support and uplift the community that’s had my back and been my safe space for the last few years.

I previously spent some time as Non-Binary officer last year so I already have an insight into the on-goings of the society. And I also attended Trans and Non-Binary coffees nearly every week. As VP Sec I would want to give more attention and accessibility to POC, disabled, and trans students in particular, especially right now.  I would love to continue to work with the SRC and GUSocNet in particular, and reach out to others also. As a home student, I know the importance of having a network and so I would love to keep strengthening the network we have built as a community and expanding it. But of course most importantly working alongside our already amazing exec and committee to put ideas into motion. (And maybe make a zine or two ya know).

I realise the massive responsibility that is being part of the exec but I’m more than willing to rise to that challenge this year. Overall I want everyone to feel like they have a safe space within the society and that this is their community too. It would be a joy to be your VP Sec this year and continue to help carry on the community we have here! :) (And stay safe!)

2) Liam (he/him)

I’d be the right candidate as since I’ve joined I’ve been active in the society whether it be events or discussions going on in the server. This is important as there always has to be an open channel for discussion and chat no matter the topic. Being the VP Secretary is a big undertaking and in that i'd love to be able to chat to you all whether it be in coffees, direct messages, or an anonymous poll every now and again to find out what direction you want the society to move in. The priorities of a society are fluid in a changing world and I believe i'd be the one to step up and give people the voice to help us steer in the right direction

Events Officer

1) Robyn (they/them)

As Events Officer, I would love to continue the work previous folk have done over the last few years in running more accessible and ever creative events. Moreover this would be incredibly important with the on-going Covid situation and I would love to have the challenge of creating new events with the committee and in the society to adapt to the new online environment. To find new ways of fundraising for the society and also making online events just as exciting as in-person events were. I’m a very creative, inventive and adaptable person thanks to my degree, the projects I do outside of university and work I did with charity events back at school. Last year, I spent some time as Non-Binary officer, attending trans & non-binary coffees throughout the year and so I have a decent idea of running events already in the society. I would strive to continue to make events more accessible and welcoming to POC, international and disabled students etc., and also manage the issues that previous years may have had by taking on constructive feedback consistently. In all, I want to create a space and event for everyone by solidifying communication inside the society and outside the society.

Communications and Technology Officer

1) Evelyn (they/them)

I’m a social and economic history student. I have found it really valuable to meet people through GULGBTQ especially the craft group. I really don't know what I'd have been able to do otherwise as I found it quite difficult making friends etc when I first came to Glasgow last year. On that note I would like to contribute to the society... Mostly I'd really like to improve the website e.g. the calendar is in need of a bit of TLC!

2) Liam (he/him)

As a technologically oriented person, I believe I would be able to do the Communications and Technology role justice by setting up regular channels for communication. The website as cute as it may be is dated and could do with a freshen up. This is however easier said than done, after evaluating with everyone what priorities for it we should have the slow process of neatening it can begin. To bring people to any events, the weekly announcements message could be posted on the page along with a link to the Discord server. The page is a representation of what we do as a society yet it lays bare with nought but who is on the committee and manifestos of who would like to be. Be gay do crime, thanks for listening.

Men’s Officer

1) Ethan (he/him)

Hi, I’m Ethan - a graduate and now first year medical student, who has been involved in student representation as some kind of liberation officer for the past 4 or 5 years. I came out as transgender in 2016, and since then have openly shared my transition and experiences on a small YouTube channel. I’m tired of the narrative that as a trans man I am not a “real” man, and the barriers faced by transmasculine individuals in accessing things that are typically put down as 'feminine' needs (sanitary bins - I’m looking at you!). I am incredibly keen to push for change in the teaching of healthcare subjects, so that it is less awkward accessing things such as cervical smears and menstrual care, and that healthcare teaching in general stops being focused from a cis-het viewpoint. Whilst that may be one of my personal main focuses, wider campaigns and work around challenging stigmas particularly associated with men’s mental health and sexual health is really important. So I’d want to make sure there is involvement in these too.

2) Liam (he/him)

GULGBT+ has so far done a great job of having everyone feel accepted and have a space to chat but at the moment there isn't a Mens Officer and from anecdotal experience there is a significant lean in the societies demographic to female students at least in terms of activity in the society. My aim as this years Mens Officer would be to make the society a welcoming place for all, whether this is through running events directed towards those who aren't aware of the society or aren't aware of its purpose.

International Officer

1) Alexandra (she/her)

After moving to the UK last year, there were so many new things that I had to learn and there was plenty of confusion and mistakes along the way. Now that I've settled in and I feel comfortable as a resident of Scotland, I would love to have the opportunity to give advice and guidance to those who are still figuring things out, or are just looking for solidarity during a difficult adjustment period. It can be so disorienting and isolating to leave behind your family and friends to move to a new country, and I hope to let some folks know that they're not alone and they can talk to me and all the other wonderful people in GULGBT. This club made a huge difference for me in this regard, and I want to make sure others get that opportunity as well!

2) Pat (they/them)

I've been an international student in different countries over the years and it's had a profound impact on how I can conceptualize and relate my own queer identity. Listening to and supporting each other as international students who are far from home and potentially in a very different situation culturally and linguistically is so important, when it comes to LGBTQIA+ issues as well as the bureaucratic and everyday. I want to make sure that the society is providing a space for international students and potentially make connections with other societies for international students to reach new members and share resources.

First Year Ordinary Member

1) Ethan (he/him)

Hi, I’m Ethan - a graduate and now first year medical student, who has been involved in student representation as some kind of liberation officer for the past 4-5years. Having already spent a fair bit of time getting to know many of the LGBT+ freshers’ community at UofG this year, I’d love to be able to act as a linked voice for them to help make sure they still manage to have a great first year’s experience. This certainly wasn’t the year anyone expected, and I’m really keen to try and help make the best of what we can so everyone has a positive start to their course.

Postgraduate and Mature Students’ Officer

1) Ethan (he/him)

Hi, I’m Ethan - a graduate and now first year medical student, who has been involved in student representation as some kind of liberation officer for the past 4-5years. From completely relaunching my previous university’s LGBT+ society, to starting its first separate dedicated group for trans students, and being elected as the first trans rep for students across Scotland… my undergrad was busy! I’m really keen to bring the experiences I’ve had, and lessons I’ve learned, with me to GULGBT+ and get involved through my next 5years studying at UofG. Being a postgrad and/or mature student comes with its own unique challenges and I want to work with the committee, SRC, and wider university to make sure you are well supported in achieving all the things you want to whilst still being able to balance everything you have going on outside of university. Aside from that, something I am keen to work on during my time studying medicine, is making the curricula of healthcare subjects more inclusive of LGBT+ patient scenarios and education.

2) Pat (they/them)

Community is really important to me and has become even more so since the suspension of in-person meetings. When I came to Glasgow last year, I found that the vast majority of people I met through freshers events and societies were a good few years younger than me and it seemed like I was the only postgraduate/mature student around. I would like to continue facilitating a space for postmat students in the society and ensure that people older than the average student will feel welcome and at home in the society.

---

Preferences of those running for multiple positions:

Robyn

1. VP Secretary

2. Events Officer

Ethan

1. Men’s Officer

2. Postgraduate and Mature Students’ Officer

3. First Year Ordinary Member

Pat

1. Postgraduate and Mature Students’ Officer

2. International Officer

Liam

1. VP Secretary

2. Men’s Officer

3. Communications and Technology Officer

[oceancoralx]

 Hey everyone, I’ve just been lingering about. Been avoiding Tumblr RP because it’s not really where I’ve felt the most comfortable (even though I’ve made some amazing friends, you guys know who you are and you guys are awesome). I tried to return through discord because that’s where I felt more comfortable but I haven’t checked there in a while either. Life has been pretty terrible honestly and my muse has been drained as the distractions and problems piled on top. I just wanted to drop in and give an update. Also... wow, there’s a lot of drama I’ve seen. Another reason I’m very hesitant to come back but I’m glad certain things are being addressed such as toxic masculinity and racism, especially within the sect of “gay rp” (idk, but you guys know what I mean). Anyone else, this ain’t about you, and I appreciate you guys because your talent is off the charts.

I try and lean less towards that gay rp end of the spectrum tbh because fetishization tends to happen, I’ve noticed, and there’s also been stuff to do with consent that, while I have to say is my problem considering it’s not my business, I’m very concerned about and uncomfortable with as they’re portraying non-con for fulfilment rather than being addressed as what it is. Or at least being treated as a trigger with a warning or anything at times. I prefer story based rps than smut (which I prefer to do with rpers I’m comfortable with) and that’s just my own personal preferences that doesn’t impact anyone but it’s a huge part of rp, technically and I think it’s worth putting my two cents (is that what Americans use? Is that the phrase?) in. 

In terms of a toxic masculinity argument, I don’t think that particular issue was addressed as well as it probably should have been in the post I saw going round but it’s definitely a part of it. I think the types of muses we glorify are very evident but I do believe that that’s almost entirely okay. Be attracted to what you’re attracted to or gravitate towards and do you! But I do see a lot of muses (sure, twinks can be a part of this conversation, okay, but you know a lot of other groups as well) are neglected. I think white, traditionally masculine muses with perfect, muscular bodies are favoured (fine) and also “gay” (stereotypical) behaviour, attributes, traits, features are rejected (eek ok)/deemed unattractive and I do think that there has been a problem where it’s teetered towards a kind of toxic masculinity/internally homophobic direction (not always but there’s been some of that.) I don’t think it’s intentional because we can all like what we like but what we put out with that sentiment has crossed the line a few times and that’s where we need to be careful. I also understand that a lot of these things aren’t going to be addressed when your characters are smutting it up because those rps aren’t that deep and you’re just trying to enjoy writing. I’d just say that be careful within those spaces that we don’t put out any harmful messages or idk make a conscious effort to try and be positive in any way we can? You’d think this is a very simple thing but if people are still agreeing that this is still happening then it’s something that needs to be realised and put into words. 

Idk. Could be as simple as putting a trigger warning or... rephrasing? Sometimes the character is just like that and that’s fine but acknowledgement OOC or something? I don’t know, maybe even that seems a little much but it at least makes the distinction between the character and mun. I don’t believe your characters represent you, wholly. Just be aware and conscious of these things and outside of your character interactions, especially if your character is intentionally problematic or toxic ect, try and be decent to everyone. Muses are fictional but the many muns behind them are real people and however great or small, you have an impact on the environment you contribute to. The argument I saw being conveyed was not well put but I think that just because the person arguing them has problems of their own (valid ones which I am about to address) lets not disregard everything they said from the conversation because I think we should still talk about toxic masculinity and homophobia in areas that were not addressed. Also the attitude of non-binary and trans muses as being less than is also something I acknowledge has happened a few times. We’ve come a long way since now these characters are actually being included and brought to the surface of attention and I don’t think that any of us are trying to be harmlful (or I should hope not) but I do think in queer spaces we should be the ones to make room/welcome these types of people and issues safely and comfortably into them. I’m not saying you necessarily have tor rp with muses you don’t want to, I’m not policing you to be more diverse and inclusive but be open minded and aware that you are making an impact in your threads, muses, bios, rules pages and ooc messages and be mindful what sorts of messages your words are communication. I want it in writing that trans men are no less of a man (same for trans women but I see even FEWER of these muses) and we should be learning to adapt to this understanding of gender rather than conveying attitudes of the past that harm people within the community. Also no matter what the body of the non-binary muse is like, respect that they’re non-binary if that is the decision from the mun. Don’t erase that by disregarding chosen pronouns for your own fulfilment in the story. A character being non-binary shouldn’t change what they contribute to the story, especially if the story is two characters flirt in an undescribed location with a convenient bed and the only thing they have in common is that they’re horny and hot. 

In terms of racism, now this hits a little harder. There’s definitely a problem there (as pointed out by a lot of the people who responded to the toxic masculinity post). I empathise with the sentiments expressed about the blatantly harmful attitudes geared towards Asian and specifically Korean muses, as well as a general attitude towards all POC muses. This needs to change and if you think that this whole preferences thing doesn’t mimic the problems of the real world towards POC than I think you need to rethink. Many different muses of many different ethnicities have been either rejected due to physical preferences and the argument that due to this being done in a space where we create fiction that means this is okay I think is very questionable. Whole races of people being generalized and boxed into one is not where we should be at. You being comfortable with only FCs who are actors is fine, or FCs that supply no significant age gap is completely fair but implying a whole race of people is unattractive? I’m not putting words into anyone's mouth but please do not do this. Especially right now, we shouldn’t be doing this and we should already understand why this is bad. On the other side of the spectrum, the fetishization and stereotypes, especially in the way it is advertised is very grim. Fetishization of a whole race of people is dehumanizing, especially if that race is an oppressed minority. I’m not accusing anyone but PLEASE just try and consider your approach to interacting with POC muses in this way. It requires so little effort to just question whether something is okay. I don’t think it is hard to listen to what is going on in the real world and not project those harmful things in order to fulfil your fantasies. I think there’s a problem there if certain fantasies are fulfilled on the back of people getting hurt. Just do your research and try to offend anyone is what I’m saying. It’s very simple. Just grow as a human. Pretty much if you’re not talking from experience, just be respectful, whether you’re putting out a muse or trying to interact with a muse. Make a mistake and then try and then learn and grow. Don’t try and box POC muses into ways they can fulfil your fantasies based on very tired ideals of who they are and what they can offer. I’m saying it again, just be respectful. Question what you put out, think about it and try not to hurt people through what you communicate. Have empathy. I’m reiterating the same things because these are simple thoughts that should just come so quickly and casually. There are so many people with a multitude of different experiences interacting with this and probably people who have more knowledge on it but lets not just address these issues when someone needs to be called out. Lets put a stop to it in general. This shouldn’t have just been made aware of when it was right there in front of us. 

Listen, I’m not here to police or tell people how to go about RP. Get weird, go crazy and be out there. Characters and threads are not real life, I understand that but just be aware of the impact around that little bubble within the thread. Try and make a conscious ever to put out positivity outside of your threads when you’re contributing to your blogs. Or at the very least, don’t put out negativity. Make sure that no one feels unwelcome or disregarded or hurt when they come to your blog. RP is a social activity (wow I sound like an annoying, patronizing teacher while I write this) and that means that no matter how introverted you are, you gotta navigate it that way. Just don’t be a dick. This isn’t a call out post, just a “think about it this way the next time you try and put something out there.” This was my opinion on a few things that have been circling and a few things that haven’t been touched upon much. I’m also open to criticism myself if there’s anything I should have said, got wrong or missed out. Like everyone else here, I make mistakes and I am trying my best. I don’t think many of us are harmful or negative people, but sometimes when we are otherwise distracted we can slip up so it’s good to direct our attentions back to those areas. Ok I’m done.

This is probably a mess of a post.

[mutantsrisingrpg]

Congratulations MORGAN! You’ve been accepted as PHOEBE with a FC change to JULIANA HERZ.

Ciara is someone that has always fought to be seen, there’s nothing she wants more than to truly be noticed by someone. Your bio created this rich history that weaved that very aspect into every corner of her life and I loved it. Making her the middle child out of five that was supposed to be a son? Chef’s kiss if you ask me. The details you put into Ciara were such beautiful breadcrumbs that lead to a well rounded character with a clear path to folliow. I can’t wait to see her on the dash! 

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

NAME/ALIAS: Morgan

PRONOUNS: She / Her

AGE: 27

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: EST, On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d say I can be a 7. I’m in a D&D group who play late on Fridays and Saturdays, so I’ll be less active on those days. I hope that’s alright!

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Ciara Sawyer

GENDER/PRONOUNS: She / Her

DETAILS & ANALYSIS:

Ciara is one of 5 kids. Specifically, the middle child. Often forgotten and overlooked. As a young child, her personality was quiet and soft spoken which did not mesh well with her siblings louder, more boisterous ones. It was often joked that she was adopted. Which was untrue, she was her mother’s daughter for sure. Though whether the man that she called her father was actually her father? That’s another story.

She prefers tea over coffee. Not that she doesn’t drink coffee, she does, but she would much rather be curled up on a couch with a good cup of tea. She’s learned about how tea blends are made and has started making her own. She keeps mixes of different ingredients around. Holy basil, chamomile, lemon balm, and lavender for relaxation, peppermint, rosemary, thyme, and lemon verbena for people feeling unwell.

She enjoys to baking and she’s a decent cook as well. It’s soothing to her, being able to cook food and support herself. It’s something she learned to do from an early age. When she’s in a bad mood or just needs to wind down, you can usually find her quietly working away on something in the kitchen.

Art has always caught her attention and though it isn’t something she’s good at, she has dabbled in it before, mostly in her childhood. It was something she could do without drawing too much attention and offering her a calm space away from her loud family.

Ever since she was a kid she’s been allergic to pineapple. It’s not going to kill her if it’s just a little but it’s not really fun to eat. Her mouth gets numb and swollen it’s just not good. Safe to say she’s firmly in the no pineapple on pizza club. Though it was used against her a few times by her siblings, so she doesn’t usually tell anyone.

Ciara is someone with a good heart but it’s often hidden behind her quiet personality and general uncertainty of other people. When she cares about someone, she cares about them deeply. Often worrying over them and doing her best to make sure everything gets worked out. When she sees a person, she tries to look past the material to see is what is in them. What truly lives inside their heart and soul.

People often look over Ciara, she’s the person you bump into coming out of a coffee shop or that you cut in front of because you didn’t see them standing in line. For a moment the serious and tired look on her face would make someone think that she was angry or annoyed. But usually a small soft smile breaks through and shows that kind and funny side that she usually hides. She is certainly not the most personable person or charismatic but she at least tries, though often people just don’t seem to understand her.

BIO:

A family lived In a small city just north of Chicago called Evanston. For most families, another baby is a reason for celebration but it wasn’t so with Ciara. Her parents already had their hands full with two other kids, who were both girls as well. So it was easy for her to be over-looked and put to the side when she was born. Ciara’s parents had been hoping for a son and that set her up for disappointment from the moment they found out that she was a girl. She wouldn’t know that though. Not until she got a little bit older. Those few oblivious years were some of the best she would have in her childhood. Her parent’s took care of her, at least until she could walk and sort of talk on her own. Then she was left to her own devices, being watched by her older sisters who only saw her as a doll they could dress up and poke fun at. As soon as she turned five, everything went down hill from there.

That was when her mother found out that she was pregnant again. This time there was good news, at least good news for them. They were going to have a baby brother and not just one but two! The house they all lived in was comfortable for the 5 of them but with two more people on the way it quickly moved from comfortable, to cramped. Her oldest sister was allowed to keep her own room but Ciara was forced to move in with her second oldest sister. At first she was excited about it. She always looked up to her sisters and getting to share a room with one of them seemed so exciting. Quickly, her hopes and excitement were dashed as her sister just took over most of the room. Never one to argue, Ciara would just nod and go along with whatever her sister said. Which included taking things of hers and telling her that they were too pretty for her or something along those lines. The first few times she ran to her parents, they told her not to argue with her sisters and why couldn’t she just get along with everyone else.

This caused her to retreat even more into her shell. It became a defense mechanism for her in order to get through her days. Just make yourself as small as possible and take up the smallest amount of space. That didn’t stop her sisters from teasing her however. When the twins were born, she hoped that maybe for a second they would move on and leave her alone. But instead as the twins got older, they picked up on the older sisters habits and started to pick on Ciara as well. Every day was hard to get through but she pushed on, determined to not let anyone see how much it bothered her. Even through all of this, it never broke her spirit. Her trust in others was damaged but she tried her hardest to be a good girl, to get her parents to notice her, just for a few moments.

Even in school, she was an outcast. At first she tried to do well in school and get good grades. Up until high school she did just that. Though again, it went unnoticed by her parents. Her siblings were always better than her, or more trouble than her in the twins case, and she continued to be overlooked. While in high school she was made fun of for being the quiet, smart kid so in a bid to at least fit in a little, Ciara stopped trying so hard. Her straight A’s slipped to mostly B’s with the occasional C. Even that didn’t catch her parents attention. Ciara was out of ideas. Nothing seemed to phase her parents. It was almost like she was invisible to them.

The more she thought about it, the more real it seemed to be. For a while she thought that she was making it up in her head. Just small things, like her family not setting a place for her at the table or her mother grounding her because her sister had said that she had snuck out, even though she had been taking a nap in her bedroom to try to avoid the general rowdiness and loud nature of their chaotic household. The nail in the coffin was the day when she was finishing taking a shower and one of her brothers had found a way to unlock the door and had stolen her towel. She could feel the tears and frustration welling up in her. It didn’t matter that she was getting ready for her high school graduation, which everyone seemed to forget, or that she hadn’t done anything to deserve the way she was being treated. As she looked in the mirror, expecting to see her tear stained cheeks, instead she saw nothing but the bathrooms reflection. She waved in front of the mirror and still saw nothing. Where she thought she’d feel panic, there was nothing. Ciara was finally as invisible as she always had been.

One would think that something like that would make someone panic but instead, it just made Ciara feel comfortable in her skin. She had heard all about mutants but she never thought she was one. Well, not since she was a kid who thought it looked cool. Growing up she realized that it wasn’t as good as it seemed. Plus her family had stayed firmly on the ‘ no mutants’ side. So she kept it a secret and planned to leave as soon as she could.

It only took her a few months to save up enough to where she thought she could survive on her own. So one night she packed up her things and left for Chicago, never looking back. As far as she knows no one cared or came looking for her. It’s been almost 10 years since then and she’s pretty sure they don’t even think about her anymore. Which hurts her but she tries not to let it show. She’s made her own place and is in the process of trying to make her own family. Though that’s easier said than done. Ciara’s learned a lot about herself through the years, but she still has a long way to go.

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS:

Tierney:

She was surprised when she clicked with him as much as she did. At first, she was wary of him but by working with him more and more she found a connection with him and owes him more than he’ll ever realize by just being there for her and not caring if her defense is to joke about things, even when the tensions are high. Something in her tell her this is what having a sibling should have been like, but she doesn’t dare say that out loud. Instead she often gifts him baked things. Never with a name but she’s pretty sure he knows it’s her. She tells almost no one about her family but she thinks that maybe one day, she might be able to talk to him.

Bea:

There was something that drew Ciara to her, almost like a magnetic pull. Everything about her, she adored. For a long time, she just wanted to make her happy, to see her smile even if it was only a small up turn at the corners of her mouth. She wanted someone to give her whole heart to and she thought she found that in Bea. There were things she told her and confided in her, that no one else knows. That’s what made the blow up of their relationship so painful to her. Someone else who she had given her heart and soul to only to have it destroyed again. She’s still hurting from that, but she puts on a brave face for the other. If she made it through her childhood, she can do this. But there is still a soft spot in her heart for her.

Rebeka:

It’s not often that Ciara hates. But oh does she hate Rebeka. It feels like she’s the personification of all of her siblings, blaming her for things that she did wrong when really, it was their own fault. They had been friends before that. Maybe Ciara was trying to make peace with how she left, thinking of her like one of her siblings, that if she could be friends with her than maybe things might work out alright. But she always had to be right, always had to get her way and grated on Ciara’s every nerve. It’s hard for someone to push her but Rebeka does it well and often. Joining the King’s Collective was just salt in the wound for her.

EXTRA: I made a mock blog / inspo blog for her [ here ]

ANYTHING ELSE: If possible, I’d like to change her fc to Juliana Herz please!

[bulgariansumo]

Taken from this

How did you choose your name?

I didn’t. Oddly enough, my birth name was given to me because it was supposedly androgynous, so that works. I used to wish I had a more ‘normal’ name, but now I’m pretty indifferent to it.

What gives you the most dysphoria? (Acknowledging that not all trans people experience dysphoria)

I don’t experience physical dysphoria. I don’t know if I experience social dysphoria, but if so, it’s not too intense.

Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

Social, if I have it. I don’t like being called certain pronouns, but I’m kind of resigned to it. Only on the internet would it really get to me, but thankfully I’ve never had that happen after coming out.

What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?

I don’t need self-care when I have loving and accepting friends!

What was the first time you suspected you were transgender? 

It was kind of hard. In my preteens, I would think to myself that I didn’t want to be my assigned gender, but I didn’t quite want to be the other binary gender either. I kind of resigned myself to being my assigned gender until finding out nonbinary genders were a thing.

When did you realize you were transgender?

5-6 years ago?

What is your favorite part of being transgender?

I feel like there’s a certain freedom to it. When you grow up, you’re fed a lot of messages about gender (boys don’t cry, girls are more nurturing), and I never really liked when people tried to justify my personality with stuff like that. Now that I know I’m not cis, I can ignore it.

How would you explain your gender identity to others?

My gender = No

How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?

It’s much easier for me to stay in the closet.

What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?

None.

What are your experiences with binding or tucking?

None.

Do you pass?

Technically yes, since having no gender means (ideally) having no gender expectations. I’d like to look androgynous, but I can’t do that socially without tipping people off, and physically, with my body type, it would be a challenge anyway.

What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?

Maybe hormones? But that’s hard to do while staying closeted. I don’t necessarily need them for myself.

How long have you been out?

5-6 years online

What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

None other than my assigned gender

Have you ever experienced transphobia?

Not directly, but I did have the misfortune of hearing the Apache helicopter joke irl

What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?

Public bathrooms are a den of filth. I would never step foot in one willingly unless it was an emergency.

How does your family feel about your trans identity?

I don’t know, but given how they talk about trans people, I don’t want to

Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

I literally can’t; that is not a luxury I have. There’s not really a way to be ‘stealth’ when you’re nonbinary. You either have to tell people upfront or let them assume what gender you are.

What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

I probably would’ve told myself what a transmed was so that didn’t affect my entire stance on whether or not I’m trans. But I also would tell myself that being nonbinary doesn’t necessarily mean I have to ID as trans either.

Why do you use the pronouns you use?

I like them! And they too!

Do your neurodivergencies affect your gender?

I don’t know if I’m neurodivergent or not.

What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

Being outed to my family. That would not be ideal.

What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?

I came out online.

What do you wish cis people understood?

Respecting trans and other non-cis people isn’t impossible. I’ve met a decent amount of cis people who are really cool about it, and I appreciate them a lot.

The sanctity of the English language is not and never will be a hill to die on. Using singular they/them will not kill anyone.

What impact has being trans affected your life?

Things make a lot more sense now! I’m really glad I found out I’m nonbinary.

What do you do to validate yourself?

Write! Creating the representation I want to see, and seeing other people enjoy it, is really helpful!

How do you feel about trans representation in media?

It’s improving, but could be better.

Who is your favorite trans celebrity?

I don’t really know all that much about trans celebrities. I think there’s like 5 I can name total? Asia Kate Dillon interested me in particular, because before hearing about them, I never knew there was a nonbinary character on US television that wasn’t a robot or an alien, let alone a celebrity that publicly identified as nonbinary, and got to play said character! It’s really cool, and I really appreciate them for being out there.

Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

@rontufox. He was the first person I ever knew to mention the word ‘genderqueer’ and was the guy that reblogged the post that made me realize my identity. Great dude, great friend, really understanding and an inspiration for how to treat other people in general! I love you, bro!

How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

Other than having trans friends and reblogging an occassional post… not much. I have little idea what the nonbinary community is like, what problems they have or face. Does an organized nonbinary community even exist? I’ve seen and heard a lot more discussion about and by trans men and women, but can’t really say I ‘know’ their communities, because I’m not either of those identities.

How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?

The same.

What trans issue are you most passionate about?

Representation in media. There’s a lot of trans stories to tell, but not many are being told, and the ones that are are often by cis people which creates… issues, to say the least.

What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?

No one is immune to misogyny. Please examine how you treat/behave toward women. On the other hand, ragging on men just for the sake of ragging on men doesn’t really do any good for anyone and can easily reinforce harmful beliefs. People who choose to belittle or ignore the struggles of specific men (cis LGB+ men, trans men, men of color, etc.) are especially suspicious when it comes to this.

NEVER INTERACT WITH TERFs. Period. They are not a joke. Transphobes in general are bad of course, but TERFs are especially manipulative. They can and will turn someone completely inside out in order to get someone to believe their ideology and have a lot of sneaky tactics to get otherwise anti-TERF people to agree with them. No matter how secure you think you are in your identity, it’s not worth it. The same goes for transmeds. I don’t know the full extent of their tactics, but based on personal experience, they’re pretty damaging too.

How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

I’d much rather be read as a guy online than in real life.

What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?

I don’t really get to ‘express’ my gender irl. I’d like to have more ‘plain’ clothes that aren’t obviously tailored for one gender. Online, my gender expression is... just being me! I used to put a little more thought into trying to come off as completely androgynous, but what’s the point of being nonbinary if I can’t be myself?

Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?

Neither

What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?

I’m ace and aro. I feel like it’s made a lot easier for me to be my identity than if I were attracted to people. I don’t often see unaligned nonbinary people in discussions of attraction, but then again, I rarely see nonbinary discussions at all. It’s already hard enough for binary trans and aligned nonbinary people to get taken seriously as their in a relationship or in other parts of the LGBT+ community.

There’s people who don’t believe nonbinary people exist or should be a part of the LGBT+ community, and then there are others who don’t believe asexual or aromantic people should be a part of the community either. But there are many more cis+heterosexual+heteromantic people, who would not accept nonbinary, ace, aro people at all. It’s hard to interact with the LGBT+ community beyond support if you have to second-guess whether you belong at all. But, the more I learn about other people’s experiences in the online LGBT+ community, the more I learn that no group feels completely safe, and all of them are either being persecuted or ignored by each other. I don’t really know what to say other than it’s really sad.

Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

I have no ideal partner.

How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

I came out online. That’s it to me. It was pretty easy for me in particular because there were very few people who I told my assigned gender beforehand.

What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?

Tumblr. 

Do you interact with other trans people IRL?

I don’t know if I’ve ever met a trans person IRL

Are you involved in any trans-related activism?

Not really.

Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.

Thanks, I might make a few!

What do you hope for in the future?

Trans rights!  Safer discussions of LGBT+ topics in public!

What are you thankful for?

My amazing friends for supporting me! I wouldn’t have gotten this far without you, and I’m thankful for the people who are there for me!

What do you wish to achieve?

I wish to be able to understand and respect other parts of the LGBT+ community better. I know I won’t be able to understand other groups 100%, but I like learning! And more than anything, I don’t want to make it any harder than it already is to be LGBT+ online. I want to help my friends!!

Why didn’t you write “as a trans person” after those last three questions, when that’s what you meant? 

I’m not sure if I see myself as trans to begin with. I’ve only heard one other person share this sentiment with me, but I feel like being trans is a little more involved what I am, and I don’t feel comfortable co-opting on that experience (even though...taking this questionnaire meant for trans people… might be doing just that.) I do want to clarify that I’m not saying that nonbinary people who share my experiences CAN’T be trans. I’m just saying that I’m not sure if I see myself personally as trans. I’m not cis though. That I know for sure.

Did you like taking this questionnaire?

Heck yeah! Nice job, OP!

What’s a way you can end this on a happy note?

I know a lot of these answers have been downers, but I think if people pull together, a better future is possible for all of us. I’m thankful for where I am in life now, and I want other people to get to a similar spot in life, if not better! Also, let me know if I stepped out of line in any of these answers so I can edit them!

[redthengold]

Think of your body and mind as a kind of energy reserve. At any given time of day, you are exerting an amount of energy to be the most basic of functional. That's your body and mind having your back. In turn, you eat and exercise and have an active life and whatnot to give back to your body. Take deep breaths. It works both ways. Sometimes, we forget to give back. Sometimes we take too much. Sometimes, we overly indulge ourselves. At times we wanted desperately to fill a void because we are in pain and we hurt ourselves. Mostly we just wanted to feel something, an indication that we are alive and with meaning. When that moment happens and you feel like giving up on yourself, starting with the smallest of small things can get the engine running again. All we want to be is to feel grounded, to feel like we belong and to feel like our time on Earth isn't for naught. And that people love us and we love them. What you wanna see comes from within you. You are your own stage director. You literally call your own shots and you control your environment.

Find something that works for you. Try mediation. Try cycling 20km in the morning to kick start your day. I know someone who does. Try eating a bit healthier. Spend time with your partner and kids or friends, energies in general that are good for you. Spend time with yourself and come up with a routine that no matter how crazy life is, it's the one thing you can always rely on and return to. Self-reflect. Find significance in what you do. Have breakfast. Have sun and if you are lucky, have the ocean and mountains. Return to your roots. Return to just existing, even for just a few minutes. Find yourself and find your strength in the tasks you do. Hold your own hand and have your own back. Embrace yourself naked. Recognise yourself as the fulcrum of your life. Check in with yourself because you are your own tourist information counter and no one knows you better than you. You're your own compass. Be the one thing you can count on when in doubt. With every milestone hit, you fall just a little bit more in love with yourself. Feel every drop of water in your face when you shower. Feel the warmth of your skin in summer. Smell the flowers Listen when spoken to. Be grateful. Thank your coat and socks for keeping you warm when you are cold. Tidy up your home and personal space so you have more space mentally and emotionally. Talk to someone. Be open. Be courageous but safe. And please do not settle for less. Trust that you are a decent person and you make good choices. Trust that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, you will celebrate yourself and if need be, to pick yourself up. And I imagine if you have gotten this far to read this, you know that your track record of getting through shit is impeccable.

To exist is the universal truth of being human. No one should and can tell you otherwise or rob you of it. To exist meant to have fears and reservations about our abilities to deal with ourselves and with life's challenges. Stand your ground anyway because you know you can win. Do that so you can put that positivity forward for someone else who needs it. Turn kindness and positive strength viral.

With time, life's experiences and wisdom are these building blocks that accumulate to form the very core of you. The more you experience and keep an open mind, the more knowledge that you have accumulated of the world and of yourself, the stronger that core is. And that core is your self-identity. It evolves continually and organically. It's your shelter and shield. It's who you consult when you are unsure and nervous. It's the root of your motivations and your fears and your triumphs. And sometimes it's shit but sometimes it's a wise owl. Sometimes it's advice coming from your mom or your next door neighbour. Sometimes it's something you just have to figure out on your own. Once you have ownership of that core, you can then turn that consciousness and trust into something really powerful by creating strong and positive ripples that will go on to affect your life. You have worked hard to get to where you are. You will gain confidence. And confidence is like a red sock in a white wash. It transfers. It imbues. And it gives the pop of colour you need in life.

Only you can take care of yourself. Only you have the map of where you are going. And if you cannot trust yourself, then no one else should. Confidence is practice. It's knowing you can complete something even with your eyes closed. It's demanding for respect. Faith is that first step baby you took in order to learn how to walk. It's the same power that allows you to come out of whatever closet you have been in and fight for what you believe in. And keep coming back to that core. Be self-sufficient. Keep coming back to what you know on the inside and if you don't have that certainty, seek help and support. To ask for assistance is not an act of cowardice. It's the awareness of knowing that no one person on Earth has all the answers. And that's OK. This is why we have each other.

[kittenwitchandthebadvibes]

Recovery - Self Harm

Several beautiful and brave kittens have messaged me recently asking for advice on self harm, so I wanted to do a post addressing the topic. Your usual post will be up tomorrow instead, and I have put the info behind a read more for those who might find the discussion potentially triggering.

Also a reminder that I try to make myself available on messenger if you need to chat, or need more immediate attention 😺 💖

Be safe, my little pumpkins! I love you and you are doing so well!

CW/TW SELF HARM

Understanding Self Harm and Why It's Hard to Quit

Self Harm is an Addiction

It is important to understand that the urge to self harm does not come from a logical, long-term thinking part of the brain, but from the part of the brain that craves immediate gratification. When we experience pain, the body responds by releasing endorphins, which can provide a temporary high by activating the body's opiate receptors. This reaction is similar to the experience of a drug high, and can become addictive, making the cycle of self harm even harder to break.

Knowing that self harm can be an addiction, be realistic and kind to yourself in your recovery. Quitting cold turkey may be harder than easing off gradually. Just like with quitting smoking, try to find your equivalent of a nicotine patch. Expect and plan for withdrawals, and don't be hard on yourself if you have slip ups.

Self Harm is a Crutch

When a mental illness 'blocks' your ability to feel, self harm can act as a temporary 'lift' to this block. Other things that can cause the brain to release endorphins, such as exercise, impulse buying, eating favourite foods, drug use, etc. can still enable a quick, but temporary, hike in feel-good chemicals even in an unhealthy brain. When this is the only way to feel good, or feel anything at all, a drug-like high can be very tempting.

If you take away your crutch, you will fall down. Plan to replace one crutch with another until you can walk by yourself again; something less destructive, that still gives you similar feelings even if they're still temporary.

Mental Illness Is An Enabler

It is a lot more difficult to reject the urge to self harm when your mental illness is trying to convince you that you aren't worth the effort. Furthermore, it is a lot easier to give in when you feel like you desperately need that quick relief, even when you know you will be upset at yourself afterwards.

If you haven't already, seek professional help to manage your mental illness. Managing the source of your problems is better than managing all of the symptoms.

Self Harm Isn't Just Cutting

Self harm can refer to any behaviour that is intentionally self-sabotaging, and does not necessarily have to include breaking the skin and drawing blood. Other examples of physical self harm might include biting or hitting yourself, or sleep deprivation, starvation, and over exertion. Even an increase in behaviours that may result in harm indirectly, such as reckless driving, walking into traffic, or placing yourself in dangerous places is considered self harm.  

Don't allow yourself to replace one form of self harm with another, and don't allow yourself to be convinced that "it's ok, because it's not as bad as cutting". You deserve to be your own ally.

Finding Your Way to Recovery Why do YOU Self Harm?

Try and identify from the list below why you, personally, self harm, and it may be easier to find an appropriate alternative.

There are four main categories that people who self-harm find themselves in:

Needing Release

You might feel overwhelmed by people or situations around you, or by your own emotions. While harming doesn't FIX any of these, it does give you a sense of escape.

Wanting to Feel

You might find yourself in a headspace where you're unable to feel any positive emotions, or any emotions at all. By harming yourself you may be able to bypass that blockage, and you can feel again.

Wanting Control

When things happen around us that we can't control, we might need to find other things in our lives we can. By exerting control over one thing, like our bodies, it can make it feel as if we're still somewhat in control.

Punishment

You might be feeling as if you've done something to deserve being hurt, or maybe you can't think of any other way to call for help. Maybe the people around you aren't taking you seriously when you try to discuss your upset, and you're left feeling like this is the only way you'll find an escape, or get the attention you need.

Alternatives

NOTE: As with any coping mechanism, there are ways to over-use, miss-use or abuse the following activities. Many mental illnesses make us especially vulnerable to risk taking behaviour and devaluing our selves. You are precious and important, and you've already done such a brave thing in seeking a way out of your situation, please take care of yourself while exploring these options. Talk them over with your loved ones or your doctors if you are unsure. Some of these activities are more suitable to your situation than others. Take into account how your mental health might affect your motivation, energy, etc.

Activities that can help you to feel:

- Exercise: Particularly cardiac exercise, exercise also has noted mental and physical health benefits. Running can help to capitalize on the energy in anxiety driven self harm, and a decent work out can also trigger muscle wear which will provide a much healthier sense of pain. Endorphin release is also noted to last much longer after exercise. Be safe, and remember not to over exert yourself.

- Eating: many people seek comfort in food, especially indulgence foods. Chocolate and sweets can provide short bursts of endorphins, but spicy foods can also have the same affect, with potentially longer lasting endorphin rushes. Spicy food registers in the brain as pain, and has the added benefit of speeding up your metabolism. Be conscious of your dietary requirements, and try to avoid over eating; large quantities of any food can make you feel sluggish and unwell, and spices in large amounts can cause gastronomic distress. Placing chili on the lips, even without eating, can cause a burning sensation that is relatively easy to extinguish with milk or creamy foods. But enjoy yourself, food is amazing and you deserve to eat!

- Aromas: Certain scents can trigger endorphin release in some people. As with eating, even the smell of a good meal may help. Food scents, like vanilla, and lavender are the ones most commonly quoted. Consider combining the scents with a warm bath, or into a moisturizer and giving your self a massage. Always read directions for oil use first! @myexplodingcat has a wonderful post here on the many ways to use essential oils here

Activities that give a sense of control:

- Organization/Cleaning: it doesn't matter if it's your whole house or just reorganizing your desktop, many people find great satisfaction from putting things in order. Many also find cleaning or decluttering your space helps brighten moods in general.

- Calorie Counting or Meal Planning

PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT IF YOU SUFFER FROM AN EATING DISORDER OR HAVE FOOD-RELATED SELF HARM ISSUES, THIS MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR YOU. IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING CALORIE COUNTING, PLEASE ENSURE YOU DO NOT GO UNDER 1200 CALORIES A DAY. THIS SHOULD NOT BE AN EXERCISE THAT MAKES YOU CRITICAL OF YOUR BODY, YOU ARE PERFECT AND WORTHY IN ANY SHAPE YOU TAKE

Calorie counting does not work for everyone, but it can be an excellent way to ensure you're eating enough, and provides a sense of control over your body. Apps like My Fitness Pal can allow you to set goals and complete daily dairies, as well as check you're getting the right amount of vitamins from your food. It also goes hand in hand with meal planning. For some, being able to plan ahead gives a sense of control, even if you don't end up strictly adhering to it.

- Daily Routines

If you're usually good at sticking to schedules, planning your week or having a daily routine can help you feel in control and accomplished. It could be as simple as arranging a daily chat at the same time each day, or going for walks after dinner.

Activities that give a sense of release or escape:

- Gaming: Any media that helps you escape from reality and successfully distract you can help here, but gaming (as opposed to TV) uses more mental energy and cognitive power, as well as giving you a sense of accomplishment.  

- Journaling / Creating: Writing uses a different part of the brain than thinking or talking, and can help with feeling overwhelmed. @tinypaintdrops has a fantastic TedX talk on their experiences with creating artwork in place of self harm, which you can watch here

- Exercise: In addition to being on the list for helping to create endorphins, exercise can help to release built up tension and give the sensation of release. Running or fighting-based exercises, like boxing or martial arts, can be especially helpful.

Punishment-mimickimg alternatives:

- Holding Ice:

A common alternative; holding ice can really hurt. While holding it against an area you would normally harm is usual, even holding onto them with your sensitive finger tips is enough.

- Wrist band flicking:

Another common alternative; the idea is that a really good sharp flick can cause pain without risking serious injury.

- Hugs: If you have someone who gives good back-cracking hugs, this is a good way to mimic pain without actually hurting yourself. Physical contact also encourages oxytocin release, which makes you feel good and helps forge connections.

- Antiseptic: If, despite your best efforts, you have fallen into your old cutting habit, try to stop at one cut and then treat your cut with antiseptic. It will sting and provide further pain, while hopefully minimizing your need for more. While this is obviously not an optimal solution, it makes the best of a bad situation, and gives your cut the best chance at healing. Quitting is hard, and set backs don't mean you've failed.  Every cut you don't make is a success.

Others Who Can Help

Based on a past post, Kitten Witch now has a Helpline Tab filled with helplines listed by country (including text based, toll-free, and phone options) if you need further help.

A Big List of People to Help Ensure You Are Safe and Sound (aka "a blop hey ass")

A Reminder

You are not going to recover immediately. It will be slow, and there will be set backs, and that is totally fine. You will be illogical and you will make bad decisions, and that doesn't mean you have failed or that you are unworthy. You are living in a world that doesn't yet understand mental health or know how to help you, and that is not your fault. Slowly, we are equipping each other with the tools that will help you fight this. Bit by bit, and day by day, you are making your world a better place. I am so glad you're choosing to be here. I am so so proud of you. Keep going, you’re going to make it 💖

[technohameed]

Top Ten Dog Training Tips

Listen to Your Dog Learn to concentrate to your dog. If your dog seems to be uncomfortable meeting another dog, animal or person, don’t insist that he say hi. He’s telling you that he isn’t comfy for a reason, and you ought to respect that. Forcing the difficulty will usually end in larger issues down the road.

Be Generous together with your feeling Most people don’t have a retardant being terribly clear concerning once they square measure sad with their dogs, but, they usually ignore the great stuff. massive mistake! confirm you offer your dog millions of attention once he’s doing the correct factor. Let him recognize once he’s been a decent boy. That’s the time to be further generous together with your attention and praise. It’s even okay to be a bit over the highest.

Does He adore It? Just because the bag says “a treat all dogs love” doesn’t mean your dog can mechanically am fond of it. Some dogs square measure terribly selective concerning what they prefer to eat. Soft and chewy treats square measure typically a lot of exciting for your dog than exhausting and fresh treats. Keep your eyes open for what he enjoys.

Tell Him What you would like Him to try and do There is nothing inherently wrong with telling your dog “no,” except that it doesn’t offer him enough info. rather than telling your dog “no,” tell him what you would like him to try and do. Dogs don’t generalize well, thus if your dog jumps abreast of somebody to mention hi and you say no, he could jump higher or he could jump to the left facet rather than the correct. a higher different would be to raise him to “sit.” Tell him what you would like him to try and do so as to avoid confusion.

Be Consistent Whenever you’re coaching your dog, it’s vital to urge as several members of the family concerned as potential thus everyone’s on an equivalent page. If you're telling your dog “off” once he jumps on the couch and somebody else is speech “down,” whereas somebody else is holding him hang around up there, however on earth is he ever aiming to learn what you want? Consistency are going to be the key to your success.

Have Realistic Expectations Changing behavior takes time. you wish to own realistic expectations concerning ever-changing your dog’s behavior yet as however long it'll fancy modification behaviors that you simply don’t like. usually behaviors that square measure “normal” pooch behaviors can take the foremost time like barking, dig and jumping. you furthermore might got to contemplate however long your dog has rehearsed the behavior. for instance, if you didn’t mind that you simply dog jumped abreast of folks to mention hi for the last seven years and currently you opt that you don’t wish him to try and do that any longer, that behavior can take a way longer time to undo than if you had addressed  it once he was a pup. keep in mind it’s ne'er too late to alter the behavior some can simply take longer than others.

Don’t Underestimate the advantages of Feeding a prime quality Food Feed your dog a high-quality diet with acceptable amounts of super molecule. If your dog spends most of his days unerect in your dwelling house, don’t feed him food with a super molecule level that's ideal for dogs UN agency herd sheep all day. cash|the cash|the money} that you simply can pay on feeding Associate in Nursing acceptable quality food can usually be money that you simply save in vet bills soon. i like to recommend you usually confer with your veterinary for the correct diet for your dog.

You Get What You Reinforce – Not essentially What you would like If your dog exhibits a behavior you don’t like, there's a robust probability that it’s one thing that has been strengthened before. an excellent example is once your dog brings you a toy and barks to tempt you to throw it. You throw the toy. Your dog has simply learned that barking gets you to try and do what he desires. You say “no,” and he barks even a lot of. Heaven forbid you throw in the towel and throw the toy now! Why? as a result of you'll have instructed him persistence pays off. Before you recognize it you’ll have a dog that barks and barks on every occasion he desires one thing. The solution? Ignore his barking or raise him to try and do one thing for you (like “sit”) before you throw his toy.

Bribery vs. Reward The idea of exploitation treats to coach is commonly equated with graft. Truthfully, dogs do what works. If exploitation treats gets them to try and do what you would like, then why not? you'll be able to additionally use the globe around you as a reinforcement. each interaction you've got together with your dog could be a learning chance, thus once you accept it, you most likely don’t use food fairly often except throughout active coaching sessions. thus why will your dog still droop out? as a result of you reinforce him with praise, touch, games and walks. simply keep in mind, the behavior ought to turn out the treat; the treat mustn't turn out the behavior.

Freedom Let your new dog bit by bit earn freedom throughout your home. a standard error that several pet folks create is giving their new dog an excessive amount of freedom early on. this could simply result in accidents regarding house training and harmful manduction. So, shut off doors to unoccupied rooms and use baby gates to section off components of the house, if necessary. one in all the most effective ways in which to reduce incidents is to stay your dog bound to you within the house and by employing a crate or pooch safe space once you can’t actively supervise him.

[pollyestergivens]

Part 2: Nancy Drew & The Case of the Missing Realism

Balancing Immersion with Puzzles

A wall of text series on how Nancy Drew games largely lost their charm.

A question every game developer must answer is, “How aware should the player be that they are playing a game?”

Games that focus on scoring points, gaining achievements, new & innovative game mechanics, etc. don’t always try to immerse the player in the way story-based games often do--indeed, some narrative based games these days are called “walking simulators” because of the almost complete lack of game mechanics.

What has always been special about the Nancy Drew series is the balance the games often achieve between game play mechanics and storytelling. Interviewing suspects, exploring locations, solving puzzles and collecting clues give the player an active role in unraveling the mystery.

In the early games, largely due to budget and hardware limitations, characters and locations were not exactly photo-realistic, but once they moved onto full-3D characters in the second title, I never felt it was significantly distracting or lessened my ability to get into the game (with the one glaring exception being their almost obsessive desire to slap the HER logo or Nancy’s name on every day objects in the game world, particularly in the earliest titles). 

However, the irony is that as HER improved their ability to produce realistic graphics with each title (and moved on to slapping Krolmeister on everything), the content of the games seemed to be increasingly unrealistic, causing the very thing they should have avoided at all costs: breaking immersion.

Mini-Games

Mini-games showed up early in the series, but they were exceedingly rare in the first ten or so titles. Instead, the games were full of largely realistic, detective-style tasks such as dusting for fingerprints, code-breaking, finding and using passwords and locker combinations, etc., alongside important suspect dialogues and general snooping, which made for a pretty balanced-feeling game. Jump ahead to the last ten or so titles, and you’ll find a completely different scenario. 

Take the last (and hopefully not final) game, Sea of Darkness. SEA is very nearly nothing but a barrage of mini-games. Whether you’re helping out at the pub “filling orders” or earning money by matching vocabulary words (though very fun for nerds like me), you’re painfully aware that you are playing a game. Many of the various contraptions on the ship (the wheel puzzle) and in the lighthouse (the 2048 clone) also scream “VIDEO GAME.”

Rather than methodically solving a mystery, Nancy is essentially going from mini-game to mini-game, with finding a clue or talking to someone as window dressing. It gives the player the feeling that the point of the game is not so much to feel like a detective or to care about the story, but rather to get a minor dopamine rush from finishing all the puzzles--much like the point of most hidden object games, which rarely take the time to produce a decent story since that’s not what the player is typically there for.

However, I would venture to say that Nancy Drew game players are there for the story and certainly there for the feeling of being a detective. By constantly being made to play mini-games like Aggregation, 2048, nonograms, sudokus, renograms, etc. ad nauseam, I find myself feeling less like a detective and more like I’ve just played a series of unrelated iOS games.

That isn’t to say that these mini-games aren’t fun--I found Aggregation and the wires puzzle from Trail of the Twister to be quite addicting. Nor do I think there were no great story lines in the later games (Shadow at the Water’s Edge and Ghost of Thornton Hall both shined bright in this area). 

Rather, they simply break immersion, which gives the game a distinctly different feel from others that focus more on things like snooping through someone’s computer or sending Morse code messages to smugglers.

Sure, you’re usually doing the mini-game while being sleuthy--getting into Gray’s computer in The Deadly Device or getting into the safe in Shadow at the Water’s Edge--but it takes away the realism factor to, in my opinion, an unacceptable degree.

When mini-games are used sparingly, as they once were in the earlier titles, they can bring a fun-factor that only a video game could bring, adding a little variety to the typical adventure game puzzles like “find the key for the lock.”

Implausible Contraptions 

However, mini-games are not the only culprit in The Case of the Missing Realism. Many of the games suffer from implausible contraptions made by dead people--sometimes for no apparent reason.

Again, look to Sea of Darkness for some egregious examples. Part of a skeleton holding a box within a secret area of an old ship that has been thoroughly restored yet somehow was not found??? The ship’s wheel has a fucking slider-type puzzle on it???

Was the captain an amazing engineer? No. 

Did he hire an amazing engineer? No.

Similar issues abound with Tomb of the Lost Queen. Personally, I found this game and its numerous puzzles (some mini-games, some not) to be fun, but it didn’t feel like a “true” Nancy Drew mystery. The ancient Egyptians obviously were great engineers, but moving columns??? Really??? I found there was an almost mystical feel to the game, which runs quite contrary to the game worlds of previous games.

However, the absolute worst offender is Labyrinth of Lies. While the game designers no doubt had the time of their lives creating all those beautiful set locations, the stage system and all the sundry puzzles it contained made about as much sense as the entirety of The Shattered Medallion: absolutely none.

That coupled with suspects literally spelling out how to solve their own puzzles or find where they hid something made LIE a thoroughly unimmersive game. 

We’re asked as players to suspend our disbelief in these sort of situations for the sake of an entertaining game, but again I ask: is simply being entertained really, at core, what Nancy Drew gamers want? 

I say no.

I think what drew us in and what we kept hoping to find again as each additional title was released was the feeling of really being a detective. But the more we’re reminded that this is just a game and realism is sacrificed in favor of shoving in as many puzzles as possible, the less we get that feeling.

Perhaps making all the contraptions realistic can pose a creative struggle for the game designers, but past games have proven that an abundance of interesting and challenging puzzles can be included without sacrificing a feeling of awe or simply being interesting.

A few good examples:

Benjamin Hawkins’ hideout in Danger on Deception Island 

The monolith in Secret of the Scarlet Hand

Almost all the secret areas in Treasure in the Royal Tower

The elevator shaft puzzle is a particularly clever example

The reveal of each of these places felt exciting and made me feel like secret rooms and hidden chambers can be real--like each of these places could actually exist in the real world. Part of what made them feel real was also that the mechanism which revealed them to us was not outlandish. Stone and jade artifacts were used to open the monolith, not a sudoku puzzle followed by the monolith rocketing off into space or some such feat of implausible engineering (though I won’t defend the bizarre, poetic speech given by the cast when Nancy escapes). 

None of this is to say that every bit of the old games was 100% realistic--a little bit of suspension of disbelief is okay. But there is a balance that should be maintained, and sadly it became more and more unbalanced with later releases.

Character Personalities

There is no doubt that the Nancy Drew series contains some amazing and memorable characters. From the older games, we got Professor Hotchkiss, Brady & Simone, the wrong amnesiac, Red Knott, and Ethel, to name a few. And the newer games gave us Big Island Mike, Henry Bolet, Colin Baxter, Yumi & Rentaro, Deirdre, Jamila, and Harper Thornton, among others. 

Aside from some “hip” dialogue that missed the mark in Warnings at Waverly Academy and questionable accents in several games, characters generally felt genuine and unique--only occasionally would they say something odd or out of character. But a trend started to appear towards the end: so many of the characters began to sound the same--they were almost all suddenly witty.

Aside from the ever evolving personalities of George, Bess and the Hardy Boys, Yumi and Rentaro were the first exceptionally witty characters I noticed, and at the time it felt quite novel and like a genuine portrayal of funny, young people. But then came Lukas, Marcus, and Karl in The Captive Curse. Then Ryan in The Deadly Device. Then Bridget in the The Silent Spy. Then the entire cast of The Shattered Medallion. Then Niobe in Labyrinth of Lies. Not to mention all the random, out-of-character injections of wit coming from countless others in almost all the last ten games.

I remember loling at some of the quotes from Rentaro and Miwako, and I think their wit and humor lightened up an otherwise dark and grim story line--similar to Harper’s role in Ghost of Thornton Hall. But increasingly in the newest ten titles, it seemed like the humor often fell flat or simply didn’t fit with the character. It started to feel like you weren’t talking to suspects in a mystery, but rather characters all written by the same author.

Sadly, not everyone is a master of wit in the real world, and the overuse of these type of characters can feel jarring. Again: immersion broken.

The Big, Glaring Exception

HER always ends the game with a final culprit-stopping puzzle. They usually involve quick thinking, recalling previous game knowledge and/or high-stakes puzzle solving--and they usually range from implausible to impossible. Sometimes dreadfully combining implausible contraptions with a mini-game, these doozies have been rearing their ugly heads since that alarm sequence at the end of Stay Tuned for Danger. 

The famous “fight” in Danger by Design and the Poe-inspired showdown in Warnings at Waverly Academy raised more than a few eyebrows--even on the HER official message boards, where criticism of any game is often tantamount to sin. But they’re far from alone in their bewilderment. From magical platforms in Tomb of the Lost Queen and The Creature of Kapu Cave to a well-trained whale in Danger on Deception Island and the mini-game-to-end-all-mini-games in Labyrinth of Lies, the ending has never quite been the peak of any Nancy Drew game.

Why It Matters

Some evolution of the Nancy Drew game series was perhaps inevitable, given the sheer volume of titles released. In an effort to keep interest up and stay relevant, HER took risks by adding mechanics and trying out new writers and designers over the years. The trouble is, the feel of the games evolved too. 

Rather than finding ways to maintain that sense of mystery and realism (and perhaps improve their endgames), they began to drift towards a much more “gamey” feel. Collectible phone charms began to be placed in game scenes (why are there cellphone charms in an ancient Egyptian tomb??? The real mystery of that game). Powering on a lighthouse went from logically deducing the correct light bulb to a round of 2048. 

Was it wrong of HER to move in this direction? Of course not. It’s all down to matter of opinion whether these changes made the game more or less fun, and I freely admit that I thoroughly enjoyed many of the newest titles. 

But did they feel like “true” Nancy Drew games? Not really.

With Pointless Tasks, mini-games, and unrealistic characters and scenarios around every corner, immersion was constantly being shattered, and I increasingly walked away dissatisfied with the newest installments.

But another culprit shares the blame as well--the topic of Part 3: Nancy Drew & The Vanishing Set Designer.

Read Part 1: Nancy Drew & The Curse of the Pointless Task

[anettrolikova]

mRNA technology can be deployed against more than just viruses. Both Moderna and BioNTech have personalized vaccine candidates targeting cancer. Although called a “cancer vaccine,” the treatment is only administered once the subject has cancer—it isn’t preventative.

DeepMind’s protein-folding breakthrough signals a promising decade for the science of proteomics. Most directly, being able to predict protein shapes will enable us to discover drugs more rapidly. Buuuut, because drug trials take many years, we might expect this technology not to really be felt by the general public until the 2030s.

the rejuvenating aspects of young blood experiments were due to the dilution of harmful factors in old blood. By mechanically removing plasma and replacing it with saline and enough albumin to replace what was taken out, they diluted aged blood factors in both mice and humans and were able to rejuvenate germ layer tissues and improve cognition by reducing neuroinflammation.

Therapeutic plasma exchange is FDA-approved (not for aging, but for a bunch of other conditions). I imagine there remain prohibitions on advertising that it can add years to your life, but it is safe, and a doctor can prescribe it off label. It’s also cheap. An automated plasmapheresis machine—which lets you do treatment after treatment—can be bought online for under $3,000. That is less than the cost of a single transfusion of young blood sold by the startup Ambrosia. How long until someone opens a clinic offering plasma dilution?

longevity product that is about to get hot: aging clocks based on DNA methylation or proteomics. Do you want to know how biologically old you are? Today, for a few hundred dollars, you can get a test that will tell you. As these tests become better and cheaper, self-experimenters are going to have a field day. Doing before-and-after aging tests, anyone who can get their hands on human growth hormone could replicate the protocol used by Fahy et al. to rejuvenate the thymus. As the thymus is a critical element of the immune system, decline of which is a critical factor in aging, this is non-trivial rejuvenation. The Fahy study found that 12 months of treatment created about 2.5 years of epigenetic rejuvenation, with results accelerating in the last quarter of the trial.

biotech observation: every year, the Apple Watch gets a new health-related sensor. This year it was blood oxygen, pretty good for detecting if you might have COVID! Fast forward to 2030 and wearables will have at least 10 more health-related sensors than they do today. Some no-brainers are body temperature, blood pressure, and blood glucose sensors. What will the other 7 be? At some point, it becomes possible to replace a lot of primary care with continuous monitoring. A few smart algorithms to provide simple medical advice could improve population-level health without much cost. More data could also yield faster, more accurate, and of course more remote diagnoses when you do have to see a doctor.

Biology is proceeding faster than medical productivity because a lot of the wonderful discoveries are not being translated into approved treatments and products at a decent rate

this decade is enhanced and advanced geothermal systems. The legacy geothermal industry is sleepy, tapping energy at traditional volcanic hydrothermal hotspots—forget about it. The next generation of the industry, however, is a bunch of scrappy startups manned by folks leaving the oil and gas industry

the thing about electric cars: they are better than regular cars. They have lower fuel costs. They have fewer moving parts and thus lower maintenance costs. They have higher low-end torque and faster acceleration. If you mainly drive to and from work and have a charger at home, you never have to stop for gas. Electric cars will win because they are better, and the shift will happen suddenly.

One area where batteries may not work (aside from aviation, already discussed) is trucking. Towing really heavy loads requires a lot of energy—hydrogen fuel cells will be more suited to interstate trucking. The transition from diesel to hydrogen in trucking will likely not be as automatic as the transition from gas to batteries in cars. It’s possible that truckers will need a bit of a push.

a nationwide hyperloop network—is unlikely by 2030, even the 150-mph version is worth following. The time and hassle cost of travel is an important input into the gravity model of trade. I expect the DC-Baltimore Loop to significantly increase economic activity between the two cities—especially helping to revitalize Baltimore, as it would become easier to live there and work in DC.

When launch is expensive, more engineering has to go into the payload to ensure reliability. You don’t want to spend $1.8 billion on launch, and then find out, as NASA did with the Hubble Space Telescope, that your new satellite needs repairs. This dynamic has caused over-engineering of space payloads. With launch for a new low price of $10-20/kg, companies and research agencies will be able to reduce engineering expenses by simply taking on the risk of paying for another (cheap) launch.

The 2020s will be the decade that makes or breaks cryptocurrency. Well, nothing will ever break cryptocurrency—true believers will run the networks forever no matter what. But for cryptocurrency to have long-run value, I still hold that it needs to have mainstream uses. This means it needs to scale, it needs a good user experience, and normal people need to actually use it to transact. If it can’t reach that point by the end of the decade, I think it will have failed to have lived up to its promise. I am still cautiously optimistic. I think migration to proof-of-stake, lower transaction costs, more refined tools, and mature standards could lead to mainstreaming.

vertical farming. The combination of LED lights, cheap electricity (for water pumps), direct-use geothermal heating, and smart machine learning algorithms that determine optimal nutrient distribution could yield better produce than conventionally farmed vegetables at competitive prices. By removing pesticides, optimizing varieties for nutrition and flavor instead of hardiness on the supply chain, and ensuring quick delivery to market, vertical farms could supply a healthier and more delicious future of food. Speaking of food, I predict plant-based “meat” will flop, but lab-grown real meat is worth keeping an eye on. Until then, eat humanely-raised grass-finished cows.