#but even that isn’t fully telling

[jeeliebeeliegoomiebear]

On Isolde and Many Doors (and One Key)

Thinking about Isolde and how she feels like she is constantly trapped in a small cramped room full of 1 million doors. Each door represents a presence that haunts her, an identity that lives inside her that calls to her from beyond the grave, a new mask to dawn.

If every person in the world were to have a room, most would have just one door, their own. But not Isolde.

Isolde feels like an empty vessel who is only there to serve as a point of entry for other people and their spirits. She has been forced to become so repressed by her environment, upbringing, and her nature as a medium that she finds it easy to forget herself. Her “self” is not someone she has ever been allowed to know.

The room grows increasingly smaller, claustrophobic and strangling her with pressure as the amount of doorways in it only increase, every new person she meets a new doorway she is plagued with, a new voyeur who has granted themselves full access to her life and her body. Something she is now willing to let them do. It is easier that way. Easier to let someone else command her vessel, something that never solely belonged to her to begin with. An escape from all the pressure, the expectations, the perfection demanded from her. It is something she should do. The duty of someone like her. Something to hide her wretched face from view, to give the people what they want, to uphold her family’s legacy. A performance that was never allowed to end. Each new door lead right back to that.

The only exception is Kakania. The only person Isolde believes has ever really seen her as more than a host for other identities or something to mold into shape, prop up as a set piece. A perfect lady. The star of Vienna. A tragic heroine. A dangerous hysteric witch. A curse manifested. The only one who was ever interested in finding Isolde’s door and that door alone. When she is with Kakania, a new door does not appear in that ever shrinking empty room, although at first she expects it to. For the first time she meets someone and is not greeted with a new ghost to haunt her. Not a door. But a key. A key that Isolde knows can unlock her own door, even when she herself cannot find it.

[arolesbianism]

I caved and made them real. Obverse me losing more and more motivation to draw as I made each of these back to back lol

[shewhoeatssand]

they are similar

[toddtakefive]

btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage

[coffin-hopping]

it is so criminal how i don’t post enough brba shit on this blog so here’s some father-son mike and jesse stuff that makes me physically ill (positive)

jesse getting picked up by mike from the lab, taking jesse out of an environment that just isn’t good for him

when gus asks mike about him, mike compliments jesse

mike give jesse his food when he’s suffering from withdrawals

it’s such a nothing thing but: mike calling jesse “kid,” shit has me crying every time

there is definitely more but these are just ones that have been gnawing at my brain lately okay bye

[octaviasdread]

literature degrees are just a commitment to die on hills you don’t even fully believe for thousands of footnoted words

[why-do-we-do-this]

I didn’t catch the exact part of the stream where Cellbit finds Bagi’s journal but I feel like there’s something distinctly… off? about the contents of the journal revealing that they’re twins?

We know that Cellbit named himself in prison (and then renamed himself later) at age 18, after he’d gotten amnesia and after the window of time Bagi knew him. So how does the journal mention Cellbit by the name he goes by now??

This could absolutely be explained away as Cellbit having had some recollection of his original name or it not making sense in story-driving to call Cellbit by a random other name, however we know that the Federation can and will change information to manipulate people, and the codes don’t seem above that either.

So my question is are those journals completely forged or just altered, and what is the goal either way?

[ocdhuacheng]

I have… lots of thoughts on milsiril and kabru and the commentary on mixed-race family/adoption, in particular white parents with children of color. I think it’s really cool kui incorporated this into the story because lots of (particularly white) people just think adoption is this pure altruistic thing and don’t think about the negative affects it has on kids (again, kids of color) to not have people of their own culture to grow up with.

[its-spooky-bitch]

🙃

[scarletwitch1918]

Today was the second birthday this year of a friend that I thought I was really close with that i didn’t get invited to

[champagnemoon]

I keep telling the interns at my job that the switch that flips when you turn 25-ish is so serious you’ll immediately understand why older women are always telling you not make too many permanent or risky decisions when you’re still a baby adult

[mars-ipan]

y’know i think the most annoying thing about trying to discuss reproductive rights with cis people is the complete and utter refusal to include trans people in the discussion. like they will only ever say “women” and if you dare to point it out it’s “well this is all being done to control women” or “‘people with vaginas’/‘people assigned female at birth’ is way too wordy” it drives me fucking crazy

like first off do you seriously think that the people who seek to remove bodily autonomy from women have nothing against trans people. do you think they hold zero ill will towards us. also do you think they view trans afabs as anything other than women.

secondly. NOBODY IS ASKING YOU TO USE BIG WORDY PHRASES LITERALLY JUST SAY “PEOPLE” INSTEAD OF “WOMEN.” WE LITERALLY JUST DON’T WANT TO BE EXCLUDED FROM THIS BECAUSE WE ARE ALSO BEING HURT WE JUST WANT SOME GODDAMN SOLIDARITY IN THIS BITCH. LIKE ACTUALLY JUST FUCKING SAY “PEOPLE” IT SAVES EVERYONE FROM WEIRD LOOPHOLES AND ALSO ENFORCES THAT WOMEN ARE PEOPLE FOR FUCK’S SAKEEEEE

[raceydays-hopelesshaze]

WHEN will people realize

what a character says =/= what the overall narrative says

[dogwittaablog]

You opened this can of sardines for me the topic of employed Nolan/what is he gonna do now. Buckle in Buckaroos as I spout some nonsense.

1. He can go work for the NHL (kinda unlikely at this point imo). Despite not being able to play he seems to actually enjoy hockey still. His dad back in his early career had always said that he was a very analytical watcher, replaying parts of games over and over again to figure out what they were doing. I can see him somewhat settling behind a bench as a playmaker, and being a little shit about it. Like making the most annoying but legal plays. I can also see him becoming a bit of an advocate for players and head injuries considering what he's had to go through.

Even if not directly behind the bench or in the NHL there is a possibility for him to work with a smaller team or a more behind the scenes role. It would be private enough for him I feel.

2. Hunting (more likely). Even in pre NHL interviews he constantly brought up his love for the wilderness and hunting and possibly being a hunting guide. This I feel is the most likely possibility. Opening like a little Patrick's hunting guides venture. If I'm being a bit more optimistic and whimsical, an actual hunting store to sell supplies.

This might also mean more social media pat as he promotes himself. He's an advocate for ethical hunting and consuming so I can see him pushing that angle and teaching about how to respect and use the animals.

3. He has a tiktok, "Why the flyers can eat my ass (NHL exposed) Part 1 of 12.

4. Joins Mt. Joy (this is the crack fic one). He's close to the band, can play guitar. Why not? Write a few songs for them, date their pianist (I think that's her role?) Would b cute.

Sorry for rambling, but I do genuinely hope he ends up okay in the end and settles down well after everything he's been through. He doesn't seem like a bad guy and holy fuck has he been put through the wringer. I want him to be okay and succeed in something and not have everything he does be over analyzed by everyone ya know.

(Imma tack this on at the end, I agree at what he was getting with with the mailloux thing cause Trudeau absolutely sucks, but my god man has poor wording choices.)

Hahahaha living for the in detail post! Feel free to ramble I’m all ears.

I think jumping in an NHL job after what he had to go through would be pouring salt on an open wound, for now at least. Realistically it’d be a solid real job to have, tho it’s probably still gonna be way too much attention for him even if it’s behind the scenes. It’d give people too much to talk about. Would be pre sweet if he even took up coaching for a local team, whatever age really.

Please if dude was desperate for money or just to do something I was even thinking how he would probably debate joining his dad in real estate and work for him 😭😭😭😭

Don’t think money is an issue tho, cause he gives me vibes he’s pretty frugal and just living life lmao. Also Manitoba isn’t the most expensive place to live in to what I’m aware of.

Conclusion I really don’t think hes finding a job that’s about $$$ but something he enjoys and what he aligns with, so the hunting and fishing guide is 100% Though he has so many resources to branch out in multiple things.

[akkivee]

i think jakurai using his ability to ‘cure’ mental illnesses is something heavily overlooked lol

[huntingrays]

i dislike when you tell someone about something you fear and they tell you that your fear is irrational

like? not shit sherlock??? do you know what the definition of phobia is????????