#but extra bonus goodies never hurt

[fatedevour]

in-character clipping from the live signing with Dottore’s VA

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #340: Daikokuten

meowdy, y’all! on today’s Grailfinders we’re building the god of fortune… ‘s pet mice, Daikokuten! they’re Circle of Dreams Druids to become the perfect subordinates, and Twilight Clerics, to become the perfect hosts. they’re a bit one-note, but if you want to support people (and maybe summon an army of giant rats to crush your enemies) you won’t go wrong here.

check out their build breakdown below the cut, or their character sheet over here!

next up: you can’t talk like that, white baby

Ancestry & Background

sadly there aren’t any mice in D&D, at least not as a playable race. …or is there? in the DMG, they suggest that you can use a Halfling stat block as the basis for a mousefolk character, and frankly that just works perfectly, since they can also get the Mark of Hospitality. with that, you get +2 Dexterity and +1 Wisdom (if you’re okay with Tasha’s saving our butts again), and plenty of other goodies to boot! you’re Lucky, so you can re-roll any natural ones on attacks, checks, or saves; you’re Brave, giving you advantage on all rolls against fright; and you have Halfling Nimbleness, letting you walk straight through any creature larger than you are. those are pretty basic halfling features, but thanks to your mark you’re also Ever Hospitable for a d4 bonus to all cooking and persuasion checks, and you know extra magic too! Your Innkeeper’s Magic gives you the Prestidigitation cantrip for free to clean up whatever messes you come across, and once per day per spell you can cast Purify Food and Drink and Unseen Servant using your charisma. obviously you’re supposed to do the serving, but having extra hands never hurt. you also learn Spells of the Mark, adding plenty of cool spells to your spell lists, like Goodberry (rice balls that heal 1 HP), Leomund’s Tiny Hut (a small living space), and Mordenkainen’s Private Sanctum (make any ship a well-protected Takarabune.

the Daikokuten are, of course, Acolytes of the daikokuten, so they get proficiency with Insight and Religion checks. they know who makes a good boss and who doesn’t. and one of your bosses is a god, so you’d betternot fail that religion check.

Ability Scores

Wisdom’s number one. you got them big ol’ ears for a reason, y’know? after that, Dexterity. if Tom and Jerry taught me anything, it’s that mice are really hardto hit. after that, Intelligence. you’re not omniscient, but you are practically omnipresent, which is almost the same thing after a while. we’re still making your Constitution positive though, don’t worry about that. that means your Charisma is pretty low, since you’re submissive and multiplicable. that means we’re dumping Strength. if there’s anything else Tom & Jerry taught me, it’s that mice can’t kill cats no matter what they’re wielding, and those things have like 2 HP.

Class Levels

1. Druid 1: At first level, druids gain proficiency in Intelligence and Wisdom saves, as well as two skills from their skill list, like Animal Handling, and Nature. You are animals, so being able to handle yourselves simply makes sense. you can also write and read Druidic, a secret language that can be hidden in plain sight, and you can cast and prepare Spells using your Wisdom.

For your cantrips, grab Gust for slightly alter the Takarabune’s course, and Infestation for your first and smallest rat swarm. As for first level spells, druids have a wonderful spell list to pick from- but if you want to play the Daikokuten, I recommend Beast Bond, Cure Wounds, Fog Cloud, and Speak with Animals. The first and last spells are simply side-effects of being animals, while Cure Wounds and other healing spells are simply being a good host and fixing your guests some snacks. Finally, Fog Cloud is a bit of an unorthodox choice, but it will allow you to hide your true numbers during your noble phantasm.

2. Druid 2: Second level druids enter a circle of their choosing, such as the Circle of Dreams! When you do so, you gain the Balm of the Summer Court, which gives you a pool of six-sided dice each day you can spend as a bonus action to heal a nearby creature. one of onigiri’s biggest strengths is how easy it is to make, after all.

You can also use either Wild Shape or Wild Companion to turn yourself into a giant rat or summon a regular-sized one, respectively. These two features share their uptime, but with two uses every short rest, you won’t be left wanting.

3. Druid 3: Third level druids gain second level spells, like Locate Animals or Plants to help feed Boss Anning’s plesiosaur, or Augury to confer with other “you”s about potential actions you can take to help your various bosses. The other yous can say your plan will bring “weal”, a good outcome; “woe”, a bad outcome; or “mixed”, which is, appropriately, a mixed bag.

4. Druid 4: At level four, you get your first Ability Score Improvement, increasing your Wisdom for stronger spells. You also gain a Wild Shape Improvement, letting you turn into CR ½ creatures that can swim now! Despite the fact that rats are rather good swimmers, you didn’t need this to transform into one. Still, it gives you more options. Options that you can’t take if you wish to stay in character, but options nonetheless.

You can also cast Mending now to do regular maid stuff like sewing holes in dresses.

5. Druid 5: At third level, you can now use your noble phantasm, Conjure Animals! Now you can summon eight giant rats, and that number will grow as you use higher level spell slots! They’re a bit more fragile than you, but we only need them to survive for one attack anyway.

You can also use Create Food & Water and Leomund’s Tiny Hut from your hospitality spell list to create rice balls in-game, as well as to keep your boss’ camp nice and safe while they rest.

6. Cleric 1: first level clerics can use another Wisdom-based spell list, but you’ll have to check your PHB to figure out how many spell slots you have at a given time. but before we go into magic, let’s talk domains. as a Twilight cleric you can use martial weapons and heavy armor if you want, but most of your features are about support. with your Eyes of Night you get super long-range darkvision, and you can even give it to nearby creatures once a day for an hour. you’re just helpful like that. speaking of sharing, you can give a Vigilant Blessing to yourself (or another party member) for advantage on their next initiative roll. you literally have multiple heads to watch for danger, it makes sense you’re good at it. (it doesn’t hurt that you’re working for the bad guy too)

for cantrips, Resistance gives an ally a bonus to their next save, while Light and Thaumaturgy let you get a little more godly with your presentation, making items glow or letting you act with some more of daikokuten’s authority. you also get Faerie Fire for free to give your allies some help hitting stuff, and Sleep to brew such a nice cup of tea people can’t help but doze off even on the battlefield. for more helpfulness, Bless can add a d4 to checks or saves made by multiple members of the party, and you also get even more healing spells as a cleric than you did as a druid!

7. Cleric 2: second level clerics can Channel Divinity in one of two ways once a short rest. Turn Undead is whatever, you make zombies scared, but we’re more focused on Twilight Sanctuary. now you can provide the darkness for your NP properly, and while that ball of darkness follows you around you get even more bonuses to anything that follows you into the night, either giving out temporary HP or ending an effect that’s charming or frightening it.

8. Cleric 3: third level clerics get second level spells, and while your freebies Moonbeam and See Invisibility aren’t really in our wheelhouse, you can still use Borrowed Knowledge to get some help from other yous for free proficiency in one skill, or they can help you Locate Objects. you can also support your bosses directly by using Enhance Ability to give them advantage on any one kind of skill check!

9. Druid 6: at sixth level, dream druids get a Hearth of Moonlight and Shadow, making every camp a bit homier without the need for a magic shield. during short or long rests, you can create a 30’ radius of magical darkness, in which you and your bosses have a big bonus to stealth and perception, and which also blocks any campfires or torches from being seen outside of it.

10. Druid 7: seventh level druids get fourth level spells. with Control Water, you can get a proper hold of the Takarabune no matter what the currents are like outside, redirecting the flow of water however you like, even in blatantly impossible ways. you can also use this spell to flood areas, part water, or create whirlpools. If it’s good enough for Heracles it’s good enough for your boss! you can also use Polymorph now for another way to transform into a giant rat. or maybe something better than a giant rat. if such a thing could exist.

11. Druid 8: eighth level druids get another Wild Shape Improvement, and while I know bats and seagulls are sometimes called “flying rats”, I don’t think you can change your species on a technicality. you get an Ability Score Improvement you can use though, so that’s +2 Dexterity for ya!

12. Druid 9: ninth level druids get fifth level spells. Mass Cure Wounds finally gives you a party-wide heal like your first skill, and you can send a you off to parts known to do some Scrying- that’s “spying” but when a crat does it. also there’s this one spell called Insect Plague, but I know it’s a mouse plague, it must just be a typo. a 20’ radius in a spot you specify becomes filled with yous for up to ten minutes. there’s so many of them the area is lightly obscured and difficult terrain, and when you cast the spell every creature inside needs to make a Constitution save or take piercing damage from all the buck teeth and scrabbly claws. they also need to make this save when they enter the area or end their turn inside it.

13. Druid 10: you’ve been all over the place enough that you know some Hidden Paths now. as a bonus action you can teleport up to 60’ away, or teleport a willing creature up to 30’ away, up to four times a day. if one you disappears and another you is standing somewhere else, does it really count as teleporting?

you can also give Guidance to your bosses now, giving them a bonus d4 when they make their next skill check.

14. Druid 11: with sixth level spells, you can finally hold a Boss’ Feast, giving everyone who eats it immunity to poison and fright, advantage on wisdom saves, and bonus HP for 24 hours. they’re also cured of any diseases like grail mud or being super bunyan. you can also Transport via Plants, letting you travel through any large plant you’ve seen on this plane of existence. Again, this is just to give the impression that you’re multiple places at once.

15. Druid 12: use this ASI to bestow your Bountiful Luck onto your bosses- whenever they roll a one on an attack, check, or save, you can react to give them a re-roll! aren’t you nice? turns out having a god as a subordinate comes with perks!

16. Druid 13: there’s not really anything I’d want from any seventh level spells you can get. maybe Plane Shift so you can report to your biggest boss whenever you want? really just use this for rat summoning, I guess.

17. Druid 14: fourteenth level dream druids are Walkers in Dreams. whenever you finish a short rest, you can cast Dream, Scrying, or Teleportation Circle for free, though the latter can only take you to where you woke up that morning as long as it’s on the same plane. you can cast a spell this way once a day.

18. Druid 15: controlling water is nice if you need to move the Takarabune in short bursts, but if you want to take control for longer periods of sailing, you need to Control Weather. this lets you take absolute control of the precipitation, temperature, and wind strength of the area up to five miles around you, albeit at a gradual pace.

19. Druid 16: our last ASI will make you Shadow Touched, rounding up your Intelligence and giving you one hell of a dodge thanks to the Invisibility spell. you can also Distort the Value of any object by virtue of it being in the Takarabune, doubling its apparent value for up to 8 hours, though an investigation check can see through the magic.

20. Druid 17: our last level of the build gives us ninth level spells, like Foresight. now you can give your boss immunity to being surprised, as well as advantage on all attacks, checks, and saves, and creatures attacking them get disadvantage, all for up to 8 hours! I assume this is how Giga Plesiosaurus Omega happened. I mean you are riding around in the grail, after all.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

being a rat is very useful for sneaking around- they’re damn near everywhere, and as long as you’re not in someone’s kitchen you’re usually beneath notice. whether you’ve turned into one, are using a rat familiar, or have commandeered a regular rat, you’re more than ready to gather information, or maybe pilfer a small magical trinket or two.

if you don’t want to be bothered, you cannot be bothered. leomund’s tiny hut puts a shield around you, mordenkainen’s private sanctum can make you unscryable, hearth of moonlight and shadow makes it so much harder for your camp to be spotted at a distance, and if you’re really sick of solicitors knocking on your door you can just use control weather to make everywhere within five miles of your camp fucking horrendous to walk through. when you set camp, it stays set.

you’re also great a making your party shine. unless you’re in a party with like 10 people you’ve basically removed nat ones from existence as long as you’re around. you’ve got tons of healing and debuff resisting spells, plus ways to literally see into the future to make sure everyone’s plans go the way they want.

Cons:

why are you turning into a giant rat. I know it’s in-character, but there’s so many better options available even from the start. also, summoning like 32 giant rats sounds fun, but it's hell on your DM and they'll probably last all of five seconds in a fight anyway. that wouldn’t be so big a deal, but…

outside of dexterity, your physical stats aren’t great. you get pushed around easily, and just like a real mouse a couple solid stomps are enough to flatten you. though really, this is just a symptom of the build’s biggest issue…

despite this being a combat-focused game, this build isn’t focused on combat, at least not directly. while druids do have access to a crazy powerful spell list, the strongest attack we use in-character is Insect Plague, and that spell’s more for area denial than an actual attack. this build really is all about helping other party members to shine, and that means you might not be able to do that too often yourself if you use it. that’s not necessarily a bad thing (I mean it’s why we built the damn build in the first place), but it means the build won’t be fun for everyone.

[geeks-universe]

Would I be able to request a small Drabble? (Hurt/comfort)

Loki x Reader (platonic) where reader is shell shocked from a mission and Loki, after asking readers friend (any avenger) has a movie night with reader where they watch readers fav movie and eat ice cream and etc.

Bonus: Loki being a judgy mf about the food and movie but it just makes reader laugh

“(Y/N) is upset,” Loki said, the faintest bit of concern in his voice.

He had been slowly learning to care for those around him, and you were no exception.

Sam nodded solemnly, having already tried to speak to you about it. He always had a knack for knowing when people needed help. Alas, you were too stubborn to let him in.

“Actually,” he paused thoughtfully, eying the Asgardian by his side.

Loki look skeptical, but gestured for him to finish his thought.

“I think we need a little more subtlety, and, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you might be the perfect person.”

Despite his initial hesitance to get involved, Loki listened to Sam’s idea nonetheless.

You were resting in the large, nearly unused living room of the Avenger’s Compound. There was something playing on the TV, but you hadn’t bothered to pay it any mind, listening instead to the cries for help echoing in your mind.

You had been too late.

Too slow.

You couldn’t save everyone.

Steve had said once that he rested easy when he remembered the people he saved. But how could he? You could only think of those you lost, of the cruelty you’d witnessed.

Your hands had been shaking, and when you noticed, you shoved them under the blanket, knowing that warmth had little to do with it.

“(Y/N),” Loki called, looking distinctly uncomfortable, but also determined.

“Loki,” you returned his greeting, wincing at how unfriendly it sounded.

It wasn’t intentional, but when you were struggling, a part of you always receded from the people around you. It was easier to deal with your emotions that way. Or, perhaps, easier to repress your true feelings.

“I come bearing gifts,” Loki announced, dropping bags and bags of what looked to be snacks and drinks.

You perked up the slightest bit when you saw the ice cream.

As you sifted through the bags of goodies, Loki asked the AI something in the background. Only when Loki returned to the couch did you realize that he had started a movie, your favorite movie.

“There’s absolutely no way you thought of this on your own,” you accused him, ripping open the ice cream.

He even bought plastic spoons, and you smiled at how thoughtful it was.

“Of course not,” he scrunched his nose up, picking a bag of sour gummy worms up by the corner, sneering at the treat with disgust. “I would never eat anything as disgusting as worms.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped.

The rest of the night continued much the same. When you finally retired to go to sleep, you realized you hadn’t even thought of the mission once, and gave Loki an extra tight hug with a whispered, “thank you.”

[myherowritings]

hearts intertwined | t.s.

— You and Todoroki have been roommates for months now but have barely had more than a two minute conversation. When quarantine hits and everyone is on lockdown, you find yourself forced to spend more time with him and actually end up...enjoying it? 

pairing: todoroki shouto x reader word count: 3,055 genre: roommate au, pro hero!shouto, fluff warnings: suggestive content, 16+, mc and todo are both mid-20s

a/n: this is written as part of the crackhead sanctuary’s server collab! (pls excuse my server name lmfdkgfdg i have terrible naming skillz) i hope y’all enjoy and pls lmk what u think!! xx sof

In many ways, Todoroki Shouto was the perfect roommate. 

He cleaned up after himself, always made an extra serving of food and set it aside for you (though it may only have been because he sucked at measuring out ingredients rather than him intentionally planning on leaving you leftovers), and generally kept his volume to a minimum when entering the apartment at ungodly hours of the night. 

There was also the fact that he was the most attractive person you had ever shared a living space with in your life, and seeing him shirtless on his way to his bedroom from the bathroom was a definite bonus.

But despite all that, he was never someone you considered yourself close to.

You needed help paying for rent and expenses and he happened to be a friend of a friend of a friend who was looking for a place in the city to stay. Call it a divine intervention, a gift from the gods, or even fate… But you still wouldn’t consider yourself his friend.

It wasn’t as if you didn’t want to befriend him--Todoroki seemed like a sweet person. It was more along the lines of neither of you having the time. While you spent most of your day in the lab studying and doing research, Todoroki was always working in his office or out in the field to fulfill his new hero duties. 

This quarantine was probably the first opportunity either of you had to be in the same building for more than thirty minutes at a time. Which was why, as the two of you sat side-by-side on the living room sofa, no one knew exactly what to say.

“So, the weather--”

“Looks warm out--”

Both of you opened your mouths and shut them at the same time.

“Sorry,” Todoroki said with a small smile. “You first.”

“I-- Oh… It was nothing,” you managed, clearing your throat in an attempt to compose yourself. “Just trying to make some small talk.”

With a tight-lipped smile and wide eyes, you slowly craned your head away from his view. Who admits they’re trying to make small talk? That breaks all the rules of how to properly talk to someone.

The faint sound of the television playing old infomercials buzzed in the background while you and your roommate sat in silence. You never struggled to talk to him during those brief moments of passing, so why now? 

Looking at the screen to pass time, you noticed an outdated commercial of an older Tamagotchi game playing and felt yourself breaking out into a grin.

“Aw, I miss that game!” you cried as you turned to Todoroki with an excited glint in your eye. “Don’t tell anyone, but in elementary school I used to play it in class and since I was such a goody two-shoes, the teacher never suspected a thing.”

He raised an eyebrow in response. “I see we have ourselves a rebel in disguise here.”

“It’s our little secret, though. To everyone else, I am the epitome of innocence.”

You couldn’t help but notice the way his gaze travelled down your body and lingered on where the fabric of your oversized pajama shirt stopped and the expanse of your thigh started. 

“Sure. I believe you,” he said in what was almost a teasing tone. 

You felt your face growing hot but you paid it no mind. 

“As you should,” you sniffed, crossing one leg over the other haughtily. When he chuckled, you turned back to him. “How about you? Are you a secret bad boy who played with his Tamagotchi in the back of class?”

Todoroki shook his head. “I never had one. I actually never even knew what it was until high school, I think.” 

“Really?” Your eyes widened. Sure, the hand-held game was marketed to girls, but to never have heard about it through your whole childhood? You weren’t sure how that was possible. “Not even your older sister had one?”

Now, you didn’t know much about his personal life (whether or not he was dating someone, if he slept on the left or the right side of the bed, which leg he put in his pants first, et cetera), but you did pick up on a few things about his siblings from the previous interactions you’ve had with him.

“Not to my knowledge,” he said, looking away thoughtfully. “My father never afforded us such luxuries.” 

You frowned. “What about toys like Pokemon? Oh! Or Yu-Gi-Oh cards?”

“Yu-Gi-Oh cards?” repeated Todoroki slowly, as if he was unsure what you were talking about.

Your jaw dropped in disbelief. “You never played--? Oh, never mind. How about family games like Twister or Just Dance?” 

As far as you were aware, Todoroki Shouto came from a rather affluent family. So it was a wonder why he never participated in at least one of these experiences that characterized a whole generation’s childhood.

Again, he shook his head. “Never did those either. I wasn’t exactly allowed to play with my siblings, let alone other kids my age. My father always made me prioritize my training.” 

“That’s not right of him.”

You winced. Of course he never had the opportunity to have a “normal” childhood. How could you be so insensitive? It was no secret Endeavor had a troubled relationship with his family, but you weren’t exactly sure to what extent. You didn’t focus much on the whimsical world of heroes and, ever since you were a child, you know you wanted to pursue the field of research rather than use your quirk. The lives of heroes--even top ranking ones--was something you never paid much attention to. Still, even you have heard some gossip about the estranged Endeavor. 

“Sorry for pressing you,” you said, toying with the hem of your shirt. “I didn’t mean to be so insensitive.”

He gave you a nonchalant shrug and a small smile to let you know it was okay.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/L/N. You didn’t mean to,” he comforted. “Besides, it’s been a long time. It would be useless to hold a grudge against my father for this long.”

You tilted your head to the side. “Forgiveness, huh? That’s very mature of you, Todoroki. I think I admire you.”

His shoulders moved upward in silent laughter. “Thank you. I admire you, too.” 

Ignoring the faint heat you felt in your cheeks, you beamed. “Thanks. Anyway-- You know what I just realized?”

“What?”

“You did not have a childhood.”

While his face remained passive, you could have sworn you saw his eye crinkle in amusement.

“I suppose I can’t argue with that,” he said in agreement. “My youth was spent quite differently than most.”

You nodded profusely. “Right. And while I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with that, per se, it could be beneficial to do these things you haven’t had the chance to!”

He examined you curiously as you bounced up from your seat on the sofa with an excited grin. After a few moments of silence, he craned his neck, prompting you for clarification.

“You’re bored on lockdown, I’m bored on lockdown,” you stated matter-of-factly. “What better time to reclaim your childhood than now?”

Todoroki didn’t bother to hide the small smile making its way across his face at your determined words. “Okay, then. Count me in.”

- - - - -

When you decided you wanted to help your new friend Todoroki reclaim his childhood, you expected your days to be full of cute Beanie Babies and Webkinz, as well as the presumed amounts of chaos that followed edible bubbles and candy kits. And while the first few days of the week consisted of that, the tone changed rather drastically when a certain game was introduced. Of all things, what you expected least was to be practically panting on top of Shouto as you braced your muscles and tried not to collapse onto him.

“Left hand, blue,” he called after flicking the spinner. 

How he managed to turn the spinner with one hand and keep his body balanced with the other on a Twister mat without toppling over was a mystery to you.

Stupid heroes with their stupid, bulging muscles, you thought crossly as you relived your many previous losses. You tried to ignore the bead of sweat dripping down your face as you struggled to stay up. 

Somehow, you turned your head just enough that you had the perfect view of Todoroki’s flexed triceps as he held himself in a modified pushup position of sorts. There was a look of concentration on his face and, while you found his furrowed brows to be rather cute, you still couldn’t help but focus your attention on his arms. He had a lean type of muscle that you thought would feel especially comfortable wrapped around your waist-- 

“Y/L/N, do you forfeit?” 

You blinked, feeling lightheaded both from this game which you lacked the stamina for and from the lack of oxygen that travelled to your brain as you held your breath while staring at Todoroki. 

Once your mind processed his words, you huffed. “Forfeit! Me? Never! Why would you think that?”

“Because I called ‘left hand, blue,’ minutes ago and you still haven’t moved.” 

Blood rushed to your face and you were thankful you had the exertion to blame it on. It wasn’t your fault Todoroki’s arms were so toned and strong and...distracting.

“No,” you said, unsure if there was even a question asked for you to reply to. “I don’t quit!”

Your eyes scanned the mat feverishly, looking for a blue circle to place your left hand on that would cause the least amount of strain. Shouto had already won the first two rounds and you’d be damned if you were to let him win again. (As much as you loved witnessing him succeed, your pride would simply be too hurt if you lost a third time in a row.) 

“Find a spot yet?” he asked in amusement. “I’m not sure how much longer my arms can hold.”

Of course, just the mention of his arms drew your attention from finding the optimal Twister position to staring stupidly at his triceps again.

As you attempted to tear your gaze away from him, you spotted hints of a smirk lingering on Todoroki’s face.

Did he notice your staring? There was no way… 

You looked at him, wide-eyed and dubious, and almost choked when you saw his shoulders start to shake as he tried to hide his laughter.

His laugh was muffled by his shirt in an attempt to keep his volume down, but it still rang rich and deep in the air. It was the first time you heard him laugh like that and you wanted to do anything to hear it again. 

With a shake of his head, he removed his hands from their spot on the Twister board and sat upright beside you.

“I concede,” he said when he saw you eyeing him with curiosity. “You win this round. My arms were getting too sore.”

After hearing the sweet sound of Todoroki saying, “You win,” you let yourself collapse on the floor, rolling onto your back to get a clear view of your cream-colored ceiling.

“For some reason, I sincerely doubt that your arms were getting sore,” you said, stretching your own--genuinely sore--arms out in front of you. “But seeing as I was about to fall flat on my face if I waited any longer… Thank you for conceding.” 

“Doubt I’d be sore?” he repeated, craning his neck to peer down at your face. He placed his left hand on his right bicep and gently massaged it with his thumb and forefinger. “What for?” 

By then, whatever rational thought was left in your brain had been fully replaced by Shouto’s arms and Shouto’s arms only, and you couldn’t even complain. 

“Mmm, what did you say again?” You blinked, clearing your throat. You suddenly had the desire to chug a cool glass of water.

Todoroki’s only reply was another small--almost imperceptible--smirk. It would have been easy for someone to miss, but to you, someone who was perhaps being more attentive to their roommate and newfound friend than they’d care to admit, it was clear as day.  

“You’re totally messing with me!” you groaned, covering your face with your hands as you continued to lie with your back on the floor. “Aren’t you?”

He let out a breathy laugh and shrugged, the corners of his lips quirking upwards. “Sorry. It’s just cute seeing your reactions. I didn’t know you liked my arms so much.”

You could’ve sworn he flexed once more for dramatic effect and an indignant squeak escaped your mouth.

“I-I don’t!” you protested, making sure to look anywhere but his arms. “I just never noticed how...proportionate they were before! Just thinking about how da Vinci would admire them. For scientific purposes, of course.”

“Sure.” 

You gaped at the knowing look on his face. “How did you even notice? Aren’t you a bit of the oblivious type?” With wide eyes, you slapped your hand over your mouth. “Wait-- I’m sorry. That was rude to say.”

Todoroki waved it off with a smile to show he wasn’t offended in the slightest. “I guess I was rather oblivious in the beginning of high school. But as I grew up I became more accustomed to picking up on such things.” 

You hummed in silent contemplation. Of course he had to have grown used to people making moon eyes over him. He probably got it all the time.

“I usually pay it no mind,” he continued as he stood up, peering down at you sprawled out on the floor. “But when you do it, I find it sort of cute.” 

As if he didn’t just say something that caused your heart to skip a beat, Todoroki extended a hand out to help you up.

Ignoring the heat rushing to your cheeks, you gently placed your hand in his.

“Thanks,” you murmured as Shouto pulled you off the mat and towards his body, a feeling of lightheadedness overcoming you at the sudden motion.

One hand held yours while his other was placed firmly above your elbow to help you steady yourself.

“You okay, Y/L/N?” he asked, a hint of concern in his voice as he watched you regain your balance.

“Oh, yeah! No worries. This happens all the time, to be honest,” you admitted, vaguely taking note of how your chest was almost fully pressed against his. “Whenever I move my head too fast I get a bit dizzy. And whenever I stand too fast my knees sort of just crack.” 

Your words did nothing to soothe the worried furrow between his brows.

“Is...Is that not normal?” 

He blinked.

You grimaced. “Okay. Guess not. Maybe I need to work out more.” 

“You can work out indoors with me,” Todoroki suggested with a small smile. He looked so sincere you were just about to agree until he opened his mouth for a second time-- “As long as you don’t spend the whole workout gawking at my arms.”

With an indignant cry, you pulled yourself away from his loose grip, face burning with such intensity you wouldn’t be surprised if he were able to sense the rise in temperature. “I never gawked at your arms.” 

He hummed. 

“Well, okay, maybe I did,” you relented with a huff, bending down to fold up the game mat in front of you. “They look very strong. Being a hero must be hard work.”

Todoroki shrugged, helping you clean up. “It’s worth the toll it takes. I can imagine your research requires hard work too.” 

You tried to hide the look of surprise on your face. You briefly talked to him about what you did during the roommate-finding process, but you didn’t think it was anything interesting enough for him to recall. It brought an odd warmth to your stomach knowing he cared enough to remember. 

“I guess. But I’d say it’s nowhere near as difficult as hero work,” you brushed off. “Not everyone has what it takes to be a good hero.”

A faint blush colored his cheeks as he followed you into the kitchen for a glass of water.

“There are lots of great heroes,” he stated, filling up two cups and handing one to you. 

“Yeah, there are. And greatness is one thing, but you’re a good one-- In the heart.” Your gaze flitted to his, unsure why you were filled with the sudden urge to have such an intimate conversation after a game of Twister. Still, you rolled with it. “I know we haven’t talked much prior to this lockdown...but even I can tell how caring you are. And I’m looking forward to getting to know you more.” 

A comfortable silence filled the air as he took a seat beside you. If Shouto was taken aback by your sudden compliment, he did a good job at hiding it, simply giving you a small smile as he let his shoulder rest against yours. You glanced over at the point of contact and bubbled with elation. 

“Todoroki?” you called quietly, the edge of your pinky brushing against his. 

He looked down at the gentle touch of your hand and didn’t move away. Instead, he took the initiative and placed his fingers on top of yours, his hand surprisingly soft despite the calluses on his fingertips. The back of your neck heated at the sudden movement, but you decided you rather liked how his hands felt on yours. 

“Hmm?” 

“Thanks for letting me drag you along to play these childhood games,” you said, letting out a sigh of contentment. “It’s a nice change of pace while we’re stuck indoors.”

Shouto shook his head. “I should be the one thanking you. These are much better childhood memories than the ones from my actual childhood,” he admitted with a light laugh. “I’m glad we had the opportunity to spend more time together, Y/L/N.”

By now your fingers were intertwined with his, his thumb lightly stroking the peak of your knuckle.

He continued, “I hope this continues even when quarantine is over.” 

“I hope it does, too.” You couldn’t stop the grin from spreading wide across your face as you nuzzled your head on his shoulder. “Let’s keep making memories together, okay, Todoroki?”

“Happily.” 

[grxvitye]

dating wanda maximoff || hcs

pairing: wanda maximoff x reader

a/n: i did this awhile ago and i didnt edit it i hope its decent. feedback is appreciated!

Requested by: @kattycupcat , it’s not super detailed (i’m sorry) but can you write headcanons for what dating wanda maximoff would be like? thank youuuuu (here)

warnings: none, its cute

words: 215 | marvel masterlist. | navigation.

you do not have my permission to translate nor to repost my writing on any platform. comments, likes and reblogs are always very much appreciated<3

★☆★☆

LOVES to cuddle and kiss you

tries to hold your hand whenever she can

she appears tough to others but shows you a completely cute and soft side when you two are alone

tries to learn how to play the guitar because you mentioned that you like hearing people playing the guitar

SHOPPING is always a MUST (extra bonus if you choose to thrift shop with her)

loves choosing your outfits and wearing your hoodies

could watch disney movies with you all day

loves to stare at you while you're working because she admires your "serious face"

takes you out on cute dates (like going to amusement parks or having a picnic)

she almost never starts a fight with you but when she does she immediately apologizes and comes back with a box of your favorite baked goodies (baked by hers truly of course)

if you started the fight she would spend the whole day binge-watching movies alone and she would ignore you

when you finally apologize (with a sincere apology and your pout, she can't resist them) she smiles at you and accepts your apology and kisses you lightly

she's not afraid to let anyone know your hers

she is always there for you when you need her

gets really overprotective when someone hurts you

Cuddles. Just Cuddles

[lez-psycho]

Jennifer Jareau's D&D Character: A Headcanon

(based on a discord discussion of the BAU having a D&D campaign)

JJ originally wanted to play a Chaotic Neutral character (leaning towarda a Tiefling), but as soon as she heard Emily talk about her character, she decided to play Emily's foil.

(Emily was definitely playing a Chaotic Evil character)

So she looks at an Aasimar, but decides it's too much of a foil to Emily's character (she still wants to have a bit of a bad side to her character 😉)

So she ultimately decides on a High Elf, mainly because she can mold the character to the way she wants.

For the extra language that comes with being a High Elf, she chooses Infernal because she just knows Emily would have Infernal as her character's language and wants to make sure her girlfriend isn't making any deals with demons behind her team's back.

JJ definitely goes with the Barbarian class for her elf because they're badass with high Strength and the Rage feat.

(She uses the Rage feat as often as possible because she likes feeling powerful with it [top!jj 😉])

She uses the preset numbers for scores, assigning them like this:

Strength: 15, so that she can literally hold Emily's character back from making bad decisions (and also for other things...)

Wisdom: 14

Charisma: 13

Constitution: 12

Dexterity: 10

Intelligence: 8

She puts those last two as her lowest because being a High Elf gives her a +1 bonus for them already.

She also boosts them as she levels up.

JJ decides to give her elf a Haunted One background ("To add a little spice!" a remark at which Emily laughs and Spencer [the dm, of course] shakes his head.)

She also thinks it could add a bunch of character development and help with a good/bad balance.

For the two bonus languages, she decides on Gnomish (she thinks it might help with the campaign) and Draconic (because "it's fucking awesome!!!")

The personality trait she chooses first is "I like to read and memorize poetry. It keeps me calm and brings me fleeting moments of happiness."

She likes that one because it seemed like a healthy coping mechanism for her character.

The second personality trait she chooses is "I refuse to become a victim, and I will not allow others to be victimized."

Because yes.

The ideal she chooses is "I kill monsters to make the world a safer place, and to exorcise my own demons."

Because it plays into her character's Haunted One background and was the only ideal out of the 6 offered that connected to her.

The bond she chooses is "There's evil in me, I can feel it. It must never be set free."

Because she is really having fun creating ideas for her elf's background.

And the flaw she chooses is "I talk to spirits that no one else can see."

Which she decides are the ghosts of people her character couldn't save that have come back to torment her.

For an alignment, she chooses Neutral Good, so as to sort of foil Emily's Chaotic Evil without being a goody-two-shoes herself.

She doesn't give her character a faith because she doesn't know enough about the lore and the different faiths of the world (to which Spencer and Garcia promise to educate her on later)

JJ always wanted the 'wavy ginger hair and green eyes' combination when she was younger because a really pretty girl in her class had it, so she decides to live it vicariously through her character.

She definitely makes her character tall (6'2" or 6'3", which Spencer starts to say is abnormally tall for High Elves, but Garcia shushes him immediately).

Her backstory is something along the lines of growing up independently in a smallish village where everyone knew everybody, but one day when she was younger, maybe 12-13, it was attacked and her character had to make a decision about who to save.

Which ultimately resulted in a lot of casualties that haunt her to this day.

The majority of the ghosts that haunt her are friendly, like the woman who used to run the tavern. She'd always ask JJ's character about her day and they'd have a nice conversation.

JJ's character also gets to watch the children of the village play with one another, no longer having to worry about nightfall and guard patrols. It makes her sad, but warms her heart to see the smiles on their faces.

She hates the town elder that haunts her, though. He always criticizes her choice to try and save the younger children instead of helping the elders who were less able to save themselves.

She tries not to let those ghosts distract her character from the present, though Spencer definitely works the character's backstory into the events of the campaign.

JJ decides on handaxes for her character's main weapon because she knows how to use them really well, though occasionally she'll utilize a greataxe with her strength bonuses.

She decides on the name Miara for her character because she definitely didn't look up a D&D elf name generator and fall in love with that name immediately.

(She definitely did exactly that.)

At first, she very much struggles to use her character to its full potential, but with help from Spencer and Penelope, as well as a couple remarks from Rossi and a few youtube videos, she becomes a super strong badass High Elf Barbarian (the fact that she always seems to roll her dice really well doesn't hurt either!)

She plays Miara similar to how JJ herself acts: as a voice of reason, yet incredibly strong-willed and badass.

She definitely becomes super connected to Miara (which Penelope warned her about! and JJ didn't listen!!)

And it hurts whenever Miara gets injured, but JJ's luck with the dice always keeps Miara very much alive!

[writerofshit]

Secret Santa:X

(This is half headcanon, half fic, all fun times and emotions)

(Shoutout to the Penthouse discord server for help on some of the gifts, would have been lost without you)

The last Christmas they have in the penthouse, Ryan brings up Secret Santa again. It’s partly a joke, partly a nod to the nostalgia that’s been eating at all of them the last few months. He brings it up when they’re all gathered in the living room, watching Gavin try and prove his stealth abilities in Hitman.

(“Just because you can be stealthy in a video game doesn’t mean I’m letting you come with me.” Jack had said at the beginning of it all.

“If I get silent assassin you have to take me!”

“This is your fourth run through!”)

Anyhow, Ryan brings it up, all nonchalant. “Remember that year we did Secret Santa?”

“No?” Jeremy says honestly.

“Before your time.” Michael says with a smile, patting him on the head.

“It was fun. We should do it again.”

(”Goddamnit!” On screen, Gavin dies again.)

The next day they have a meeting of all the ‘movers and shakers’, as Geoff has taken to calling them. He announces that Secret Santa is yet again a thing, and no, Matt, you can’t get out of it. There’s no budget, because they all have access to more money than they know what to do with.

They throw eleven names in a hat and go from there. Geoff calls first pick because he’s an asshole like that, and his choice picks next, so on and so forth.

 “Just get your shit done by Christmas, and we’ll do it then.”

--

Geoff pulls Gavin, and only panics a little.

The kid has everything he could ever want, what’s he really supposed to do? He considers what he might need, ends up crossing ‘bulletproof vest and a helmet’ off the list because it feels a little impersonal. He could do liquor of some sort, but he suspects there will be enough of that floating around on Christmas day.

He considers a camera, knows Gavin is into that kind of shit, but he’s lost a lot of knowledge in that department over the years. The only person who knows enough is Gavin himself, and that kind of defeats the point.

He ends up going for a new pair of gold shades, because the old ones are pretty worn out after six-plus years, and he’s almost positive Gavin has lost them. (Probably in Ryan’s room, but that’s neither here nor there) He gets a pair that have diamonds along the arms, and even though they’re ridiculously expensive he thinks it’s worth it.

Gavin adores them, has them on within 30 seconds of unwrapping them. He pokes himself in the eye, and that feels like a bonus to Geoff.

--

Gavin pulls Trevor, and while he plays it off at first “Oh, this will be easy, I got this person for sure!” he absolutely has no idea what to do.

 There’s a weird bit of time where he tries to get to know Trevor better. He learns absolutely nothing new, despite following the guy for almost a week.

There’s a night he lays in bed with Ryan, bitching about this whole thing. “What the hell do I do? This was terrible for me last time, why would you suggest this?”

He ends up calling Barbara from the Roosters to try and figure out something, who promptly makes fun of him for not knowing anything about the guy he’s worked with for years. She does give one bit of new information, so he goes with it.

He gives Trevor tickets to the next Motocross event, because it’s apparently something he’s into. He throws in a NASA t-shirt as a joke, a nod to the world Trevor left behind.

Both items go over well, Trevor immediately pulling the shirt on over what he’s already wearing. He won’t shut up about Motocross for the rest of the day, either.

--

Trevor pulls Ryan, which he’s immediately terrified of.

 He knows Ryan well enough to know that there won’t be any serious repercussions if he fucks it up, he won’t get gutted over a poor gift choice. But he also knows he’ll get that weird stare Ryan does when he’s pretending to consider whether or not to hurt someone. Plus he won’t live it down from the rest of the crew.

At first he goes to Gavin for help, because apparently nobody is taking the ‘secret’ part seriously. Gavin absolutely refuses to help him, mostly for the laughs. He knows Gavin’s getting a kick out of watching him squirm over this, which is so unfair. Then he asks Jack for help, who just shrugs. 

“You’re a smart guy, Trevor, you’ll figure something out.”

He does, sort of. He gives Ryan a 24 pack of diet coke (because what else?) and an actually beautiful rainbow knife. It seems pretty heavy duty, and he knows its right up his alley. He also throws in some earplugs as a joke.

 “So you can tune out Gav’s idiocy whenever you need.”

“Come on, Trevor. I’ve had years of practice at that. The knife is gorgeous though.”

--

Ryan pulls Alfredo, and he’s not too worried about it.

Alfredo’s their go-to sniper these days, and a new sniper rifle seems pretty obvious. Maybe a gift card to Ammunation or something? It does feel a little lackluster, even to him, so he brings it up to Gavin one night, while Gav is still debating t-shirts from Amazon.

“That’s a bit boring, isn’t it?”

“You’re buying a NASA shirt for an ex-aerospace engineer. I’m gonna need you to rethink your stance on this one.”

“Nah. You gotta do something better for Fredo, he deserves it.”

Which. alright, then what the fuck is he supposed to do? He gets his answer the next week when he sees Alfredo on a motorcycle for the first time.

“I’m going to teach you how to actually ride that thing.” Which is good, a chance to catch up and hang out. Bad, because Ryan’s method of teaching is ‘learn by doing’ and does in fact result in shouting.

Ryan still gives him the sniper rifle, which he is far more excited about.

--

Alfredo pulls Fiona, and it’s the first time he marginally regrets joining the crew.

He’s got no fucking idea what she’d like, what gift she’d appreciate and not hit him over. He tries to be casual about asking around, hoping someone might have better insight. The rest of the crew catches on immediately, and they flood him with false information.

“She loves chocolate. Favorite Halloween candy, in fact!” Michael tells him, but the grin he has says otherwise.

“She mentioned something about wanting to learn a new language.” Jack says seriously.

“Get her an English to French dictionary, she’ll love it.” Gavin tacks on.

“French, yep. She definitely wants to learn that one.”

Lindsay is the only one who actually helps him. “She’s been known to enjoy a drink or two.”

By sheer luck he happens to walk into one of the thousand arguments Fiona has with Michael over the whole ‘Halloween candy’ debacle, and he knows immediately that's a bad route to go down.

He ends up making a gift basket full of liquor mini’s and various candies. He makes sure not to include any chocolates, and throws some extra blowpops in, just to be safe.

Thankfully, she does appreciate the thought he put in, and she says she’ll only share with Alfredo since everyone else is an asshole.

--

Fiona pulls Lindsay, and it’s not hard to figure out what she’ll like.

 She considers something chaotic, the two of them wreaking havoc on the city together. It makes sense. She also thinks about organizing a ‘girls day’, getting all the ladies of the crew together to go out and fuck some shit up. There’s a lot of logistics involved in that one, including convincing some of them to be out in the field like that.

It crosses her mind to bring Lindsay to a shelter to play with cats, because if there’s one thing Lindsay likes more than chaos, it’s cats. That’s also a bit of a logistical nightmare, not to mention the strength it would take to pry her away.

In the end she goes with cat merch. It’s a basket full of goodies, including a mug with a cat holding a bi-pride flag, a dress with various cartoon cats on it, and a cat necklace that has her birthstone as the body.

It’s beautiful, and Lindsay just about cries. She too, immediately changes into her new clothing, and she drinks everything out of the mug for at least a month.

--

Lindsay pulls Matt, and at first she panics.

She knows him fairly well, but like... He’s a real weirdo, what’s she supposed to do with that? She wonders what games he could use, if there’s anything he hasn’t bought himself.

Her confusion lasts until she mentions it to Michael. (Only after he let it slip who he’d picked.)

“Are you fucking kidding me? Matt’s the easiest goddamn one!”

“Bullshit! Name one thing you know about M.att B.ragg!”

“He eats like shit! Give him a box of donuts and he’ll lose his fuckin mind.”

Her response of  “Oh my god.” is barely heard.

She spends a week trying out different recipes, much to Ryan’s delight. He’s happy to play taste-tester while she finds the perfect flavor combination.

She winds up going with a double chocolate espresso concoction. Matt is, of course, super stoked about his cupcakes, and damn near has to fight Ryan off to protect them.

--

Matt pulls Jeremy, which is pretty much a slam dunk.

Whiskey is the obvious choice, one he’ll absolutely go with, thank you very much. Who said taking the easy way out never got you anywhere?

And it would have, if it weren’t for Geoff.

There’s a debate that happens about a week before Christmas, something about the necessity of going to the liquor store. Michael and Jeremy are firmly pro-trip, and Geoff just wants them to “stay home and do some goddamn work. Besides, it’s not like half of you guys aren’t buying each other liquor anyway. In a week I’m sure we’ll be fully stocked.”

Which, alright. Fuck Matt then, huh? He’d genuinely thought it was a good idea, a mix of thoughtful and practical.

He decides to pair the whiskey with- well, it’s kind of a joke gift, but at least he won’t be accused of only buying liquor.

He commissions a customized cowboy hat. Half purple half orange, split right down the middle. There’s a neon yellow buckle on it, and it’s the ugliest thing Matt has ever seen in his life.

Jeremy loves it though, thinks it’s goddamn perfect. He wears it for the rest of the day, and for the next heist.

(Michael is less enthused.)

--

Jeremy pulls Michael, and that-

That’s harder than it should be.

He and Michael have been doing this... Whatever the fuck it is for over six months now, and they haven’t goddamn talked about. Not really. They’ve had moments,sure, here and there when they’re both drunk and thinking far too much about it. Reminding each other that they’re happy, that this is a good time, wouldn’t change it for the world-

But there’s still nights they sleep alone and they don’t talk about why. They still don’t really mention it to anyone else, even if they all know. Jeremy still doesn’t know how to answer when someone asks what the deal is with him and Michael.

So it’s hard, right, to come up with a relationship- appropriate gift. Too jokey and he’ll feel bad. Too serious isn’t their style at all. Plus like… how’s he supposed to do that in front of everybody? Just because they know there’s something there doesn’t mean they need to put on a show.

He settles on the obvious, nice bottle of tequila and a couple of shot glasses. It’s not exactly personal, but it’s good enough to show the room.

Later, in a quiet moment they can steal away, Jeremy offers to take him out the next night.

“We’ll do the bar thing, just you and me. My treat.”

“Oh yeah? You’re buying my drinks all night?” Michael asks him with a sly grin.

“I uh- I’ll get your drinks for as long as you’ll have me.” and it doesn’t come out exactly right, but they both know what he means by it.

Earns him a smile and a sweet kiss, and that alone is worth it.

--

Michael pulls Jack, and he runs through a few options.

He considers buying her furniture, because he knows she'll need it when they all finally do move out. But Jack has a good head on her shoulders and probably already has that shit on lock.

He looks into custom shelving, for all the knick knacks she's collected over the years. He could get it designed in colors she'd like and shell out extra for lighting and all that shit. But she doesn't have a new place yet, as far as he knows, so that's kind of a bust.

He could give her what amounts to a gift certificate, an offer to pay for whatever she wants made, but that seems kind of… Empty?

There's the age old alcohol gift, but that's been done before, and is probably being done by almost everyone else.

He mentions to Lindsay how weirdly difficult it is to buy something for Jack, get’s zero advice but somehow helps her figure out the whole Matt mystery.

In the end he decides to help her out and piss her off, a little bit of a win-win kinda thing. He buys her a couple of new shirts, bold and flowery and almost as bad as Jeremy’s Rimmy Tim shtick. He hates them but he knows she loves them, so it’s worth it.

He tells her it’s because her old shirts gotta be falling out of fashion, an opinion she is not happy about.

But it’s fine, because he also gets her tickets to fucking Disney World, of all places. He even offers to go with her, which she absolutely takes him up on.

It’s more fun than he expects, and it’s a really good chance to actually spend some time with her. He hadn’t realized it had been so long.

--

Jack pulls Geoff, which.

It’s no secret that Geoff is a sentimental bastard when it comes to the crew. It’s exactly why he’d spent months talking to her about the possibility of selling the penthouse, trying to figure out exactly how everyone would react, trying to figure out how he would react to not having them all so close anymore. She spent countless nights listening to him wonder what it meant that he wanted his own space.

Objectively, he was probably a bad person but his love and fierce loyalty to the crew made up for that, in some ways, right? So how can he kick them out, how can he do this to them, he’s being selfish-

And she had just explained to him that he had to do what was right for him. That it was understandable. That he was right, they could all use the opportunity to be a little more independent. She was looking forward to having her own space, and in time the rest of them would too.

So when she pulls Geoff’s name, she knows she’s gotta lean into that a bit. She could get him some books, some puzzles maybe. He’d mentioned off-hand that he missed having the space for them, because the kitchen table was always covered in some sort of crew shenanigans.

She does get him those, because she knows they’ll get some use.

But the big thing is the collage.

She’s had pictures of the crew on her phone for years, dating all the way back to her and Geoff in a shitty apartment. She’s got some of Ray, curled up on the couch with a DS in his hand. Gavin and Michael wrestling one drunken night. Ryan, nodded off on the couch after a heist, face paint still on and a complete mess. Jeremy trying to teach Matt something resembling self-defense. Lindsay cuddling a stray cat she had taken in. Trevor and Alfredo in matching clothes, playing up the ‘twin’ joke that had been going around. Fiona in that bright yellow suit, modeling for her Instagram.

There’s one she gets at the last minute, gets somebody from the support team to take right before their latest heist. It’s all eleven of them, full heist get-up, masks and obnoxious fashion choices and guns tucked here and there. They’re in the boardroom, running through it one more time before they take off, and in retrospect, it’s probably the last time they’ll do that in that room.

She sets that one in the middle, surrounded by all of these moments from the last 12 years.

“For your new place, when you find it.” Jack says.

It’s beautiful, and it makes Geoff cry. It brings some sniffles from a lot of them, even if they all deny it.

Leaving the penthouse isn’t the easiest thing for any of them, but it’s the right move. After all, they’re still a family.

[crackimagines]

Hate to be this anon, but child!Byleth’s reaction to when Jeralt dies?

EDIT: Child!Byleth Post Masterlist here!

Aw damn it! You stole my thunder before I could wri-

I MEAN FOR SHAME, ANON! HOW DARE YOU ASSAULT THIS BLOG WITH A HEARTRENDING ASK I TOTALLY WAS NOT GOING TO WRITE!

for real though, thanks for the ask, anon! I hope you enjoy!

And since I was going to do this anyway, this ask is gonna get some extra goodies!

—-

Tears (FE: Three Houses Short Fic)

Child!Byleth Professor AU

—-

Bonus: Aftermath Talk with House Leaders + Flayn

It all happened so suddenly, Byleth barely had any time to process what was happening.

Monica had just stabbed Jeralt’s side with a dagger.

Not letting even a second go by afterwards, he immediately shouted in his head, probably the first time he had in a while.

“SOTHIS!”

Without needing to say a word, Sothis reversed time to right before Monica had attacked.

Byleth drew out the Sword of the Creator and lashed it forwards, only for it to be blocked.

Byleth’s eyes went wide as the dagger went into Jeralt, just as before.

Not even reversing time itself was able to save him.

The man and Monica were saying something, but he didn’t care, it was all just white noise right now.

All he cared about was seeing his father fall onto the floor in pain.

They teleported away, and Byleth immediately sheathed the sword and bolted for Jeralt.

“DAD!”

He dropped to his knees and tried to angle him to where he could fix the wound. Wasting no time, Byleth reached for his cloak to make a bandage, but Jeralt grabbed his hand.

“S-Sorry…Looks like…I’m going to have to leave you now.”

Byleth didn’t say anything. He knew that meant Jeralt was going to die for how serious the wound was.

He felt tears coming out, as his mouth slowly opened wanting to say something, but unable to find any words.

“…Heh. To think that the first time I saw you cry…your tears would be for me. It’s sad and yet…I’m happy for it.”

“Dad…!”

“…Thank you, Byleth…”

As soon as he heard Jeralt call him by name, he felt his heart shatter into a thousand pieces, seeing his eyes close.

—-

“HEY!” 

That was Sothis’ voice.

Byleth quickly sat up, breathing heavily as he felt sweat and tears.

“You looked like you were about to scream…You’re dreaming about it again, aren’t you?”

Byleth didn’t say anything, instead grabbing his stuffed bird and holding it tightly, trying to wipe the tears away.

It had been at least a week since it happened.

This was the first time Byleth had ever cried in his life.

The first time he ever felt pain and grief. And he absolutely hated it. 

He wanted to never feel anything again just so he didn’t have to deal with this.

He didn’t want to lose his dad.

Byleth quietly got out of his bed, still holding onto the bird and went to walk out the door. He didn’t bother to change out of his night clothes as it was midnight. Everyone was asleep by now. Sothis sighed and slowly floated behind him.

(Sothis) “If you must cry, chi-…Byleth, then I will be here for you.”

Byleth shook his head as he walked off.

(Byleth) “It’s not going to help, Sothis.”

(Sothis) “Then why are you going to his grave, knowing that?”

He didn’t reply.

Instead, he kept walking towards the graveyard. He had been buried right next to his supposed mother, which he was grateful for.

Double checking to make sure no one was here to see him like this, he knelt down in front of the grave and let the tears come out.

Byleth quietly sobbed, holding onto the bird even tighter. 

That stuffed bird was one of the only things Byleth had left to remember Jeralt. 

Sothis stood near him, knowing she couldn’t physically comfort him, but she wanted to be here in spirit at least.

After a while, he heard footsteps approaching, and knowing he wouldn’t be able to hide away in time, he rubbed his eyes with his arm, trying to make the tears stop. It didn’t work.

He then heard the person approaching him talk.

(Black Eagles Route - Edelgard) 

“Professor…”

Byleth stood up, not facing her.

“Excuse me, I was just leaving-”

“No, you weren’t.”

He didn’t say anything as she walked closer.

“…That toy was a gift from him, wasn’t it?”

Byleth nodded.

She made him sit down, and he didn’t have the strength to resist, and sat down next to him, looking at the grave.

“I can only offer my sympathies, Byleth. I’m…afraid I can’t do much more than that.”

Though he wasn’t saying anything, she could hear his sniffles while tears continued to run down despite his wishes.

“It is not childish to grieve someone you loved, Byleth.”

He looked down, ashamed that she had to state the obvious.

“Byleth…no matter what, we will make sure that your father is brought to justice.”

“…T-Thank you, Edelgard.”

“Of course…The Black Eagles are your family now. You’re not alone, and you will never be, Byleth.”

His crying gradually grew louder and louder, curling up his knees to his arms.

“I know that I must move on but…but…!”

She put a hand on his shoulder.

“Mourn, Byleth. You are right, you cannot stay like this forever…but for tonight, let it all out. I’ll be right here for you.”

(Blue Lions Route - Dimitri)

“You’re here again.”

“…You knew I’ve been sneaking out, Dimitri?”

He stood next to Byleth, looking at him.

“Yes. I’ve been concerned with how you’ve been shutting yourself away, Professor. Though…I can’t say I blame you.”

He looked towards Jeralt’s grave, recalling his own painful memories.

“Me, Ingrid and Felix did the same thing when the tragedy of Duscur happened…I just wanted to my world to just…shut off. That’s how you’re feeling too, aren’t you?”

“…Yeah.”

Byleth hugged his bird tighter as the tears fell.

“I know it’s hard to believe right now, Byleth but…you will prevail. You are by far the strongest child I have ever seen. There is none that could hold a candle so that’s why…That is why, you will get past this. And when you do, I will be ready to help you, professor. I know what it’s like losing people you love, and wanting to avenge them…”

Dimitri knelt down to eye level with Byleth and clenched his fist, slamming it against his heart.

“I will help you kill those bastards for what they did to Jeralt. We’ll make them pay…!”

Byleth nodded, and once he did, Dimitri held out a hand to him.

“But for now…you need rest, Byleth.”

Hesitating for a moment, Byleth took his hand, and let himself be led by Dimitri.

He looked back with a smile, though there was a hint of sadness to it.

“I’ll order Mercedes and Annette to bake some brownies first thing in the morning for you, Byleth.”

Byleth couldn’t help but smile a little when he heard that, letting out a chuckle while he wiped some tears away.

(Dimitri) “Well…that’s a good step in the right direction.”

(Golden Deer Route - Claude)

“…Hey, teach.”

Though Claude’s voice seemed nonchalant, to Byleth it held nothing but worry.

“Figured you’d be sleeping right now.”

Byleth didn’t reply.

Claude sat next to Byleth, looking out into the starry sky above.

“I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling…I’ve…never been great at these things. I never lost a parent or anything like that, so I’m afraid I don’t have words of comfort in that regard.”

“…”

“But, I can say this. All of us care for you, professor. You stuck by our class, despite every single one of us being a pain in the ass to deal with. Hilda with her laziness, Lorenz with being himself, Marianne with her self deprecation, Leonie with…well you know. Yet, through our worst, you always made sure to care for us, despite our words. So, know that we have the same care for you as you do us. We’ll be here in your father’s place.”

“…Thank you, Claude.” Byleth said through tears. “Hah…all this time I tried not acting like a child in front of you…and here I am, crying…”

“Hey now, you know I’m not a jokester all the time, teach!”

Byleth smiled a little, which in turn made him smile.

Claude shook his head, even though he knew Byleth he couldn’t see it.

“Besides, there isn’t anything mature about holding in tears. As nuts as it sounds…it’s good that you are crying. It means you’re not lying to yourself, Byleth. It’s okay to feel scared, not knowing what to do. Us adults feel that way too.”

“…Really?”

“Hah, really…”

He patted Byleth’s head, looking at the grave.

“Besides, no matter what you do, or how adult you try to be, you’re still going to be our little Professor.“

(Flayn)

“Byleth, there you are!”

Flayn went down the stairs quickly and stood next to him.

“I’ve been worried sick, I haven’t seen you in days and…”

She realized that Byleth was crying, shaking while holding his bird.

“…I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay, Flayn. Don’t apologize.”

He turned to Flayn, tears glistening in his eyes. She nodded, kneeling down with him.

Flayn was one of the only people to talk to him normally at the Monastery. Perhaps it helped that she seemed to act about the age as Byleth, whatever that was, it was still young.

Most of all though, that meant he didn’t care that Flayn was the one to see him like this. He was relieved it was her, in fact.

Which means, he didn’t have to hold back.

“It hurts so much, Flayn…!”

He began sobbing louder now, barely able to see the grave.

“Why…Why do I feel this way?! HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP?!”

He hugged the bird so tightly now, it started to hurt, closing his eyes and crying loudly. 

Flayn took Byleth into a hug, grateful that no one was around to hear them.

She stroked his back, shushing him and whispering things to calm him down.

“It’s okay, Byleth…”

After what seemed like a while, his crying eventually did calm down. She let go, and Byleth stared at his stuffed bird.

“It’s going to take a while but…I promise it does get better. Seteth and I talked about our mother when we went to dispel the Western Church members, right?”

Byleth nodded.

“My father and I were in a similar state but…there’s one thing mother always told me. ‘We cannot turn back the clock. We must live our lives fully in the present moment.’ Though we miss her greatly, it is how we carry on.”

Byleth looked at the grave and though it wasn’t Jeralt’s words he heard. It was Sothis speaking to him.

“She is right…Even though we can turn back time, we cannot change fate. You must go forth.”

“And forgive me if it’s presumptuous of me to say but,” Flayn continued. “I’m sure Jeralt’s told you something to that effect.”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“As to how to make the pain stop…That’s a good question. I still have never really gotten over that pain myself.”

She laughed at herself.

“Perhaps it’s all the fish I keep eating that reminds me of her so much…”

Byleth laughed as well, staring at the bird.

“I’m…sorta in the same boat. This was a gift Jeralt had got me this year, actually. Here I am asking you how to make it stop, when I’m holding something that’ll hurt me everytime I’m looking at it.”

They both smiled at each other, realizing they probably wouldn’t get over the pain truly when it’s something they hold so dear to them.

“Live in the present moment, huh…?” Byleth said quietly.

“Yes. Now, you have something else to live for. Your class needs you, Byleth…”

She hugged him for a moment before smiling.

“I need you too! The classes would be too boring without our tiny professor!”

He smiled at that and nodded. 

“Thanks, Flayn. For being here tonight.”

“Of course. If you need anything at all, I’ll be right here.”

[shawnpetermuffins]

Pictured with You (x.)

A/n: yo, I know I said I was done with the angst, but like I fully didn't intend for this chapter to go this way. AND IT WASNT UNTIL I FINISHED THIS CHAPTER THAT I REMEMBERED IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN SHAWN'S POV. I'M DUMB, BUT I WAS ALSO TOO LAZY TO CHANGE IT. Also, sorry in advance for ch. 11, which will also be angsty.

Summary: everything was fine. Or it should have been. Guess y/n and Shawn just can't catch a break.

Warnings: ANGST, but also a little fluff

Word count: 2.5k

***

My breathing finally slows after nearly thirty minutes of uncontrollable sobs that Shawn somehow manages to hold me through. His back is against the tub, and mine against his chest, seeing as this was the only way he could hold me without me fighting him. I'm playing with his long fingers and he let's me, knowing I need the distraction before I breakdown again.

"Your ring is pretty," I say, barely above a whisper.

He hums with a gentle kiss on the crown of my head before he slips it off. "Give me your hand," he requests, voice still muffled by my hair, which has to be tickling his nose. I don't know how he's stayed in this position for so long. I hold my hand out for him and he pushes the ring gently on my middle finger, then brings my hand to his lips, and presses a gentle kiss to the band. "Looks good on you."

I can't help but smile at the small compliment, but I turn back, looking into his beautiful, memorizing eyes that hold that honey hue in the bright bathroom. "Hey, rockstar?"

"Hmm?" He brushes a strand of hair away from my face, looking intently in my eyes.

"I'm sorry this happened." My eyes avert to the pregnancy test sitting beside us. "I know this is completely stressful for you. I shouldn't have brought you into this."

He shakes his head, "don't do that." He sighs, hand running through his fluffy curls. "Don't pretend that you needed to do this alone. You had every right to tell me." He picks up the test with, what I can only take as a relieved sigh. "And now we know. We have nothing to worry about."

I nod, staring gratefully at the negative test in his large hand. "Yeah. We got lucky."

"We did. So we'll just be more careful next time," he says with a smirk, nudging my cheek with his nose. "I'll wear two condoms," he jokes.

I want to laugh, I really do. "Shawn…"

A frown sets deep in his face. "What's wrong?"

I lick my lips and run my thumb over his clenched jaw. "You know we can't do this again, right?"

"Why not?" He pulls back, clearly frustrated. "Y/n, we have feelings for each other. Mine aren't just gonna go away like that."

"I'm not saying they have to. We just… we can't do this on tour. It's not right."

"It feels right."

I can't deny that. It does. It feels right and comfortable being with him. But it's not easy. It can never be easy with our chosen careers. "We both have jobs to do. This is my job, Shawn. Traveling and taking pictures. That's what I'm paid to do."

"And being able to sleep with me should be an extra bonus." He tries to joke, but his tone is laced with bitterness.

I deflate. "What if I promise you someday?"

"Someday?"

"Can we just… can we wait until tour is over to try this? I want it to be something real. Not you wanting me because I'm your age and I'm right here and it's easy for you."

"That's never what it is."

I swallow the lump in my throat. "Then we'll wait the six months?"

He smiles lazily at me. "We'll wait the six months."

I hold my pinky out to him, "friends?"

"Friends," he locks our fingers. "For now at least," he replies with a wicked grin.

I can only smile back. "You're something else, Mendes."

"You're everything," he whispers, and I glare at him, even though the blush on my cheeks betrays what I should be conveying, which is annoyance.

"Friends don't say that to each other."

He nods grimly, "I know. Just… had to get it out of my system."

I hum, "well if we're getting things out of our system," I take his face in my hands and press my lips to his. And like he's starved for it, he deepens the kiss, arms wrapping around my middle, bringing me impossibly closer to his hoodie covered upper body.

"Can friends sleep in the same bed?" he asks against my lips, fully out of breath, but leaning in again before I can answer.

I manage to pull away seconds later though, replacing my mouth with my fingertips, which he doesn't hesitate to pepper with tiny kisses. "They can if that's all they do."

"Promise." He's moved to my cheeks now, kissing each side, then my forehead, and eyelids and nose. And I'm a giggling mess, but I don't ask him to stop. I don't want him to. I let him continue until he's on top of me, laughing against my neck and we're both just intensely giddy and tired at the same time. When we've both caught our breath, he rests his head on my chest and I run my fingers lazily through his hair. "We should go to sleep," he mumbles. "We have to be up in three hours." He lifts himself from the ground and dusts himself off.

I groan, "Oh goodie."

"Come on, y/n." Shawn holds his hands out for me and I place my palms in his, allowing him to help me to my feet. "Let's get you to bed.

---

"You feeling better?" Connor asks at breakfast, voice low enough that only I can hear.

I nod, "Yeah. It was definitely just a twenty-four hour thing."

I watch his shoulders visibly relax. "Thank God. Did you take a test? Does he know?"

"Con, I don't want to talk about this."

"Well, you're sitting together again. I'm assuming you talked after I left."

I roll my eyes and grab his arm. "Excuse us," I say to the table, which is just Shawn and Brian. I take him to a secluded corner and cross my arms over my chest. "Okay, we need boundaries."

He laughs, "What?"

"Boundaries? Ever heard of them?"

"Of course I have. However, I didn't know our friendship had those."

"That's very clear."

He frowns, "What is going on with you today? You're not pregnant. You on your period or something? You shouldn't be. That's usually the end of the month, right?"

"See? That. That's why we need boundaries!"

"Y/n, we've been friends since we were kids. Of course I know when your period is."

"That's not what I'm concerned about!"

"Then what is it?"

"I don't want to talk to you about the status of my relationship with Shawn anymore."

Connor rolls his eyes, "You're kidding."

"Does it look like I'm kidding?" I challenge. But he's not intimidated. He never has been.

"Why is he suddenly off limits then?" He crosses his arms too, and rolls his head back before glaring at me sideways.

"This isn't your relationship," I say simply. "You and I have always been friends, and then we were more than that for a little bit. And you've always looked out for me. I get that. I really do. I am grateful for it. But at some point, you're going to have to let me make the mistakes I'm supposed to make. And you have to let me see for myself if Shawn and I will work out. You can't just… insert yourself before anything happens."

"I'm just trying to make sure you don't get hurt."

"I'm not fragile, Con! I'm just as capable of hurting him, you know." I lift my arms in exaggeration. "I'm not going to break at the slightest thing. I am a big girl and I can take care of myself. So this is the last time we talk about this. Shawn and I agreed to stay friends - just friends- the remainder of the tour. And then, if we still want each other the same way, we'll try dating when we get back home. But this is it. I don't want to talk about this with you because you make it so hard. Just… let me be me, okay?"

He looks down, defeated. "Okay. No more Shawn talk." He sighs and holds his palm out, expecting a high five. "Still best friends?" He asks with a lopsided smile.

I ignore his hand and embrace him warmly. "Always."

---

It's been a few days since our late night drug store adventure, and Shawn and I are in his dressing room, scrolling through some of the photos I had taken of him when we were out sightseeing earlier in the day when Andrew walks in, seemingly pissed, followed by Cez who doesn't seem to be any happier.

"What's this?" Andrew shoves his phone in front of Shawn's face and he squinted at the sudden, close brightness. But I'm far enough away to see it perfectly clear.

It's a photo. Of me in his red hoodie, hands in the large pocket, and his arm wrapped around my shoulders, lips pressed to my temple. We're walking out of the drug store, so much closer than we should have been, I know. I knew it then too, but it's hard to tell his boy no. I look away from the phone, too stunned that someone saw us that late at night. That they took that photo. That it's now probably on every social media sight and everyone could be speculating right now.

"I can explain," Shawn starts to defend himself - us - before Andrew interrupts him.

"So not only did they catch you kissing her, but you also went out, ALONE, without telling somebody. Shawn, I don't care what time it is, we need to know where you are at all times because we can't risk you getting mobbed by fans."

He goes to speak again, but now Cez is yelling. "What were you even doing at a twenty-four hour drugstore? You couldn't have gotten what you needed down in the lobby? You had to leave after midnight to get something? What was so important that it couldn't wait?"

"It's my fault," I speak up because I can't let Shawn get blamed for this. "I wasn't feeling good and I needed to get medicine. I'd checked the lobby when we got back, but they didn't have what I needed." I swallow the lump in my throat, "Shawn just went to make sure I didn't get lost or something. It was all me."

"Y/n, no it wasn't." Shawn says, obviously bewildered as to why I felt the need to lie for him. "Don't fucking lie for me." He turns back to the two grown, fairly angry men standing over us. "It was me. She didn't want to go. I made her. Okay? I'm sorry I left without telling you, but seriously? I'm twenty-two fucking years old. Let me breathe a little." He stands up, towering over Andrew. I don't think I've ever seen him look so intimidating… and frankly, quite hot. (But I shouldn't be thinking that because we're just friends and friends don't say that about each other.)

But Andrew doesn't back down. "Look, I don't care why you were out. You can't leave without security. And you can't be seen with a girlfriend right now."

"No, Andrew," I stand from my place on the couch. "We're not - I'm not his girlfriend."

Just as Andrew says, "That makes it even harder to explain." Shawn grumbles, "Yeah, made damn sure of that, didn't you?"

I don't pay his manager any attention now, because all I can do is stare painfully at the tall man standing next to me. "Are you serious? You're really going to say that shit right now?"

"What's going on?" I hear Brian whisper to Cez, but I'm too angry and hurt by Shawn's words that I can't be bothered to look in their direction. Andrew seems to have dropped his outwardly upset demeanor because I can feel him eyeing Shawn and then me, back and forth, nervously.

"Y/n."

"I told you to give me six months! I wanted to avoid all of this!" I exclaim, gesturing to the room that's now pretty much full of everyone wanting to watch this shitshow. "But you just can't handle being told no, can you?"

"Hey," he puts an arm out to reach for me, but I pull away instantly. "Y/n, that's not what this is."

"I get it. You're Shawn Mendes. You're known all around the world and any woman in their right mind would drop to their knees to be with you. But I've seen, first hand, what your lifestyle entails. And I'll be honest, whether I like you or not, I don't know if I can be in it. Especially not if it's going to lead to this every single time." I push past the crew in this now crowded room, bumping shoulders with Connor, who reaches for my wrist.

He gives me a look that rests somewhere between sympathetic and 'I told you so.' I scoff and keep walking until I round the corner a couple hundred feet away.

I'm wiping at my fallen tears when I hear the unmistakable voice of my curly head boy, only this time he holds so much contempt. "Fucking hell! Can I not deal with just one thing on my own?! One thing where I don't have 100 different people watching and telling me what to do?! Just leave me alone!" His hard footsteps sound from down the hall. And then they stop, and his voice catches me off guard.

"Y/n, I'm sorry!" He yells from wherever he is. "Please come talk to me." He's closer now, each step heavier than the last. He sighs in relief when he finds me. "There you are."

I shake my head, "Shawn, no."

"Just let me apologize. Okay? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't," he takes another deep breath. "I didn't mean for that to come out. Especially not the way it did."

"You don't want to wait, Shawn. And I can't be with you right now. What are we supposed to do about this? I begged you to give me time. You said you would give me that. But it's obvious that that's not good enough for you."

"No, honey. It's enough. I swear it is. Andrew just drives me crazy and I said things I didn't mean."

"You and I both know… some part of you believes what you said. We're too different, bub. It's never gonna work out with us. I think, even if we deny it like there's no tomorrow, we know that." I cup one side of his face and he falls into my touch, placing a kiss to my wrist. "It's best if we just kept it professional from now on."

His eyes are glassy, "But-"

"I'm your photographer. Nothing more."

"We can't even be friends anymore?"

I deflate, "We were kidding ourselves thinking we could ever be just friends after that night." I pat his chest and make my way around him, back to the dressing room to get my camera. The room is still crowded, everyone stops in their tracks when they see me. I roll my eyes; this is all so high school, the way everything is being handled. I look up, annoyed, my camera strap around my neck. "Don't we have sound check to get to?"

Andrew clears his throat, "y/n."

I hold my hand up, "Don't worry, Andrew. His precious reputation will stay in tact. Excuse me," I leave the room in a hurry, passing a series of dumbfounded faces on my way to the stage.

***

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[tigerkirby215]

5e Draven the Glorious Executioner build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Not Draven, Draaaaaven~

You ever just sit around and think “hm. I should do this for some reason?” Well that was basically the thought process behind deciding to make this build. Draven is a champion I’ve been on-and-off with and I’ve never played ADC much to begin with, but I randomly decided “hey what would a Draven build for 5e look like?”

But obviously the main reason I’m making this build is because Draven is the pinnacle of human perfection and the fact that he wasn’t my first build, last build, and every build in between just shows how little I recognize his greatness.

GOALS

Got axes, need victims - It wouldn’t be the glorious executioner without his glorious axes. We’re going to need to be able to throw them with style before having them fly back to our hands.

#DravenBigPlay - We need a few tricks up our sleeve to up the damage and “secure” the kill for our fans.

Let’s admire me - Of course it goes without saying that we need to be the hottest champion on the Rift, or in this case the Forgotten Realms. If the party needs a face who’s a better face than Draven?

RACE

While “being of pure charisma and beauty” is a race in 5e to an extent (Aasimar) truthfully you’re only human. Fortunately Variant Humans are quite talented in their own right. Bump your Charisma and Dexterity score with your two free points and take the Persuasion skill to flex some of that natural Charisma. For your Feat take Inspiring Leader to bolster your party’s confidence around your aura of natural awesomeness and force them to listen to you for at least 10 minutes if they want that temporary health. You also get a language and while you should always pick something useful if you want to have a conversation with the big man Abyssal is probably your best bet.

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - You are the most important person in the room. Heck, you are the only person in the room. Welcome to the League of Draven!

14; STRENGTH - You don’t survive as a Reckoner if you’re weak, and Strength is the main source of our damage. And man have you seen those muscles?

13; DEXTERITY - Draven is deceptively nimble and agile, and we need dexterity for medium armor which would be the most in-flavor.

12; CONSTITUTION - You can take a hit, but who’d ever want to hit that pretty face?

10; WISDOM - Draven is pretty hot-headed and often starts fights that his brother has to finish. And Draven players are rather well known for flaming their supports and running down mid...

8; INTELLIGENCE - You were an orphan in Noxus which definitely means you aren’t attending any school reunions.

BACKGROUND

As a Reckoner you fight down in the Noxian Gladiator pits. Your By Popular Demand feature lets you go on tour to whatever dingy fight pit is available, putting on a show in exchange for a place to stay. Your adoring fans also follow you everywhere, making sure that the commoners know how you are.

Additionally you get proficiency in Acrobatics and Performance to put on a show for your adoring fans, and know how to use a Disguise Kit to put on a variety of skins or just wax your mustache. "According to lolesports.com, 100% of you think that Draven will win!"

You also get a musical instrument I guess and while Drums would probably be the most in-flavor it’s not like Noxus is well-known for the arts. Just take whatever you fancy.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - FIGHTER 1

Draven started out fighting alongside his brother in the Noxian army, which is why we’re starting out as a Fighter. You get proficiency in two skill from the Fighter list: take Athletics and Intimidation to be the face of a more traditional army.

You can choose a Fighting Style at this level and of course we’ll be throwing our Spinning Axes: the Class Feature Variants Unearthed Arcana presents several new fighting styles including Thrown Weapon Fighting. You get a +1 to damage on thrown weapon attacks and can draw a weapon as part of the action to throw it. This won’t help you catch the axes when they come back to you but if you have a bunch of spare axes on your belt you can fling them out as you wish.

On that note Handaxes are simple weapons with the Light property, meaning you can wield them two-handed. They also have the Thrown property with a base range of 20 feet and a maximum range of 60 feet. Draven’s no sniper... at least not yet.

You also get access to Second Wind which lets you heal 1d10 + your fighter level as a bonus action once per short rest. Personally I’d rule this as a bit of life steal from your Bloodthirster keeping you safe, or your adoring fans cheering you on.

LEVEL 2 - BARD 1

Yeah we’re not taking Bard level 1 which I’d normally never do, but it makes sense in context: Draven started as a soldier and became The Glorious Executioner afterwards. Also proficiency in Constitution saving throws is always helpful. Regardless: as a Bard you gain access to one skill and one Music Instrument. Again the instrument doesn’t matter but I’d suggest taking the Insight skill so you can know when your opponent is truly terrified of you: the crowd loves that.

You also get Bardic Inspiration which lets your natural awesomeness radiate onto your allies as a bonus action, giving them an extra d6 to roll on an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw. “Perfection? I got that.”

You also get access to Spellcasting. You get 2 cantrips: Vicious Mockery is the quintessential Bard spell which lets you brag so much about how awesome you are it actually causes pain to your opponents. You can also take Prestidigitation for some stage theatrics for your entry.

You also know four level 1 spells: You don’t need magic to Charm Person normally but having a spell to do so guarantees that it’ll work, Healing Word lets you shout some words of encouragement to your allies to keep them in the fight, Longstrider lets you catch up to your enemy with Blood Rush, and Dissonant Whispers is a good way to make an enemy run to excite the crowd.

LEVEL 3 - FIGHTER 2

Now that we’re a proper performance artist let’s learn how to catch those axes? But firstly: second level Fighters get Action Surge which lets them take an additional action once per short rest. So chuck two axes instead of one! Don’t worry: we’ll be getting more axes soon.

LEVEL 4 - FIGHTER 3

Level 3 Fighters get to choose their martial archetype and Soul Reaver makes it pretty obvious that Draven has some capabilities as an Eldritch Knight. Despite being an Intelligence-based casting class the spells you get won’t matter too much. Regardless you get 2 cantrips: take Dancing Lights and Control Flames for more stage tricks. You also get three level 1 spells, two of which have to be from the Evocation or Abjuration school. Take Shield to expertly block an attack with your axes, and Magic Missile for some guaranteed damage with some expertly-aimed axes. For your generalist spell I’d recommend a utility spell of some sort since any attack roll or saving throw with your Intelligence is likely going to fail.

What we’re really here for is Weapon Bond which lets you bond with one of your axes over a short rest. You can’t be disarmed while wielding the weapon, and you can summon it back to your hand as a bonus action if you throw it at your enemies. You can have a maximum of two axes bonded to you at a time, which means yes you do have to take two short rests to get two spinning axes. But afterwards you can throw them at your enemy before recalling them as a bonus action: not quite “catching” the axe but it gets the job done.

LEVEL 5 - FIGHTER 4

Feel free to take this level later if you’re fine with your stats but I think you’re going to want to buff your Strength with an Ability Score improvement, seeing as it’s your attack modifier for your spinning axes.

You also get another spell, so grab Protection from Evil and Good to give those goody two-shoes Damacians trouble when fighting you and your brother.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 6 - BARD 2

That’s all the fighting we’re going to do; now it’s time to put on a show! 2nd level Bards get access to Jack of All Trades, so Draven can be amazing at everything. You also get access to Song of Rest which lets you tell some stories of your amazingness by the campfire so your party can bask in your glory.

You also get another spell at this level: Heroism makes sure you and none of your friends get antsy during a show.

LEVEL 7 - BARD 3

3rd level Bards get Expertise in 2 skills. I’d recommend Performance and Intimidation to awe the crowd and terrify your enemies.

But much more importantly you can now go to Noxian college! And no college is better than the College of Draaaaaaven Swords. As a Swords Bard you get access to a fighting style and of course with two axes you’ll want Two-Weapon Fighting.

You also get access to Blade Flourish which let you use your Bardic Inspiration die to make some flashy plays for the crowd. A Defensive Flourish will give yourself a shield, Slashing Flourish will let you slash at anyone around you after throwing your axe, and Mobile Flourish will let you knock an enemy aside before rushing at them with Blood Rush. All flourishes will make you do extra damage, so hit ‘em where it hurts.

You also get access to 2nd level spells like Suggestion. You can ask someone to perform an action and they must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be forced to do it. I think telling them to Run so you can get a clear shot is simple enough?

LEVEL 8 - BARD 4

Level 4 Bards get an Ability Score Improvement and again we’re going to want more Strength to chuck those axes around.

You get another spell at this level and Enthrall is a great way to take the attention while the rest of your team gets stuff done. "Places to go, me to see." You also get another cantrip and Minor Illusion lets you set up some minor stage props both in and out of combat.

LEVEL 9 - BARD 5

Level 5 Bards get Font of Inspiration which lets their Bardic Inspiration come back on a Short rest. In addition your Bardic Inspiration is now a d8, so you can do a little more with your Spinning Axes.

You also get access to 3rd level spells and Fear will make sure your victims put on a show! The spell forces everyone in a 30 foot cone to make a Wisdom saving throw or be frightened by your shear awesomeness and start to run away.

LEVEL 10 - BARD 6

Level 6 Bards get Countercharm which lets you sit around and calm down the newbies to assure them that Draven’s got this. Alternatively you could not do that as you finally get access to an Extra Attack at this level which we’ve been desperately needing. One Spinning Axe per turn really doesn’t amount to much, though it should be noted that you can only catch one axe per turn so recalling the axes might start to get annoying.

You also get another spell such as Leomund’s Tiny Hut which lets you set up your travel tent to keep you and your allies safe for the night. Who the heck is Leomund? This is clearly Draven’s magnificent hut!

LEVEL 11 - BARD 7

7th level Bards get access to 4th level spells like Charm Monster. And Draven bests the mighty beast with his natural Charisma~

LEVEL 12 - BARD 8

8th level Bards get another Ability Score Improvement: cap off your Strength for maximum axe-flinging action.

You also get another spell like Freedom of Movement, in case of a heavy CC team so you can use QSS.

LEVEL 13 - BARD 9

At 9th level your Song of Rest increases to a d8, so your party can bask in the glow of Draven by moonlight. Additionally you can grab 5th level spells like Dominate Person to get an adoring fan to fight for you.

LEVEL 14 - BARD 10

10th level Bards get Expertise in two more skill: take Athletics and Persuasion for maximum grit and maximum charm.

But now here’s where it gets fun: 10th level Bards get access to Magical Secrets and I think it’s time to finally get our ult? Lighting Bolt is one of the few line-based spells in the game, and it fires out a 100 foot line of electricity dealing 8d6 lightning damage, or half if they succeed a Dexterity saving throw.

Meanwhile Gust of Wind replicates the effects of Stand Aside fairly well. You make a 60 foot long 10 foot wide gust of wind blast in a direction away from you for the duration. Targets within the area of effect must make a Strength saving throw or be pushed 15 feet, and movement costs twice as much in the area. It also puts out fires and disperses gasses, and you can redirect the wind as a Bonus Action which is nice.

You also get another cantrip and I’d say get Mending to keep your outfit in tip-top shape. And your Bardic Inspiration die increases to a d10 which will allow for more Spinning Axe damage.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 15 - BARD 11

11th level Bards get access to 6th level spells like Mass Suggestion to get a whole crowd of fans to adore you!

LEVEL 16 - BARD 12

12th level Bards get an ability score improvement and it’s probably time to invest in Charisma for better spellcasting and more Whirling Axe-I mean Bardic Inspiration dice... Draven Inspiration dice.

LEVEL 17 - BARD 13

13th level Bards see their Song of Rest increase to a d10, so you can be sure that your entourage is in tip-top shape. You also get another spell and Draven’s Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion is perfect for the most perfect guy in Noxus. This spell lets you summon a portal to your own private mansion which lasts for 24 hours. A bit of a big spell for vanity but you’re a big guy: you deserve it.

LEVEL 18 - BARD 14

14th level Swords Bards get access to their final ability Master’s Flourish, letting you use a d6 instead of your Bardic Inspiration die on a Blade Flourish so you can always have an axe at the ready.

You also get access to more Magical Secrets and Sunbeam lets you turn on the practice tool to fire your axes all over the place! You shoot out a 60 foot line of light and every creature inside must succeed on a Constitution saving throw or take 6d8 radiant damage and be blinded until your next turn. If they succeed they take half as much, but undead and oozes have disadvantage on the save, so be sure to shoot your ult at the enemy Zac or Karthus. You can create a new line every turn as an action until the spell ends.

Wall of Fire lets you rake the ground with your axes so that it leaves fire in its wake. You can either make a 60 foot long line or a 20 foot diameter circle of fire that deals 5d8 damage to people on the line, or half as much if they succeed a Dexterity saving throw. You also choose a side of the wall to still be dangerous after the fact, and anything that comes within 10 feet of that side of the wall or goes inside the wall takes 5d8 fire damage as well. Truthfully though look into all the wall spells as they do some crazy good damage: Wall of Light was one I considered but it didn’t seem as in-flavor.

LEVEL 19 - BARD 15

15th level Bards see their Bardic Inspiration increase to a d12, so you can get a big crit with your Spinning Axes.

You also get access to 8th level spells like Dominate Monster, so no one can resist Draaaaaaven.

LEVEL 20 - BARD 16

16th level Bards see our last Ability Score Improvement, so I’d suggest finally maxing out that Charisma modifier for maximum spell-casting, Bardic Inspiration die, and Draven-brand charm.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Man, I'm good - With a maxed out attack modifier as well as maxed out Charisma for maxed out Bardic Inspiration Blade Flourishes you can do some crazy damage.

Draven's just showing off now! - Even though you’re not the bulkiest brawler Shield and Defensive Flourish can skyrocket your AC to remarkable heights.

Draven does it all... with style - You have tons, and I mean tons of Charm spells. Basically every single one a Bard can grab. Top that with Expertise with every single Charisma skill (except for Deception) and you will never fail to be the face of the group.

CONS

Definitely some miscommunication there - Because of the restrictions of Standard Array you end up spending all your Ability Score improvements on maxing out both your attack modifier and spellcasting mod. There are also several scores (notably Dexterity) that you only have a score in because of cosmetic reasons: it would make way more sense for you to wear plate mail like your brother, even though what you wear can be described as half plate at best. If you have the option to use point buy getting a 15 in Strength, Charisma, and Constitution is totally an option if you want to spend less on ASIs and more on Feats.

Buying time for the rest of his team - The only thing you’re really getting out of a 4 level investment in Fighter is Heavy Armor (which we should use but aren’t), a fighting style (that barely helps tbh), Action Surge, and the Shield spell (which you can just grab with Magical Secrets.) The Eldritch Knight dip is almost exclusively for the ability to return the axes you throw to your hand, and it’s not like throwing axes is exactly a practical fighting style anyways. Regardless if you have a Heimerdinger (Artificer) on your team who can build you a Returning Weapon ask them to make you a Returning Axe since that will accomplish the exact same effect without 4 dud levels.

Draven out! - Pretty much all your eggs are in either the Strength or Charisma basket. Your skills are all in Charisma while you’ll often only need one or two Charisma abilities to get by, and you have very low mental stats which means that you’re likely to fail any Wisdom or Intelligence saving throw.

But when your only cons are “you’re so awesome the rules can’t contain you” there’s not much to complain about. Clearly as Draven you should have an 18 in all stats and your maximum for every stat should be a 50 bare minimum. But until then be the face of the party with a throwing arm to match your ego. Just don’t flame your support and run down mid as that’s a quick way to get permabanned.

(Picture of T1 BABYYYYYYYY!)

[putschki1969]

Guide: How to get your hands on Kalafina goodies

I have been getting a lot of asks about this topic recently. Usually those questions come from new fans or from fans who have never bought any of Kalafina’s music releases or their merchandise. Buying Kalafina related items can be quite intimidating for us foreign fans, everything is expensive and it all seems to be out of reach. But fret not, it’s actually not THAT bad. Here’s a simple guide on how (and where) to buy all kinds of Kalafina related products. Don’t hesitate to ask if you still have any questions left after reading this.

Sorry, I have had this in my drafts for a couple of days. I was so distracted by all the Kalafina related news that I completely forgot about this :P Anyways, let‘s get this thing started...

Some basics:

Have a friend in Japan who is willing to buy stuff for you as soon as it comes out (for most of us that’s not an option but I thought I’d mention it anyways).

Get yourself a credit card or PayPal. Those two things will make your life so much easier when it comes to purchasing items on the sites I will mention later. Some sites accept debit cards but most of them don’t.

Download an add-on/app for your browser that helps you translate the content on Japanese sites. Usually google translate will suffice but it doesn’t hurt to have something else.

Make yourself familiar with your country’s customs regulations. In many cases you will not be able to avoid being charged various customs and import fees so it really helps to know what you have to expect.

Be prepared to spend a lot of money. Kalafina stuff is not exactly cheap (this applies to both the music releases as well as the merchandise). While you will be able to make some good deals on second-hand websites, most rare items will be sold for a very high price.

Comprise a list of all the things you want (add the original price for future reference). So much stuff has been released in the past decade, it’s not easy to keep track of everything (especially if you add all the different store privileges and other bonus items). Here’s a comprehensive list of all the music releases. This incomplete compilation on cpm will give you a rough idea when it comes to merch/live goods. Also, check out these albums on the Kalafina Facebook Fanpage => Merchandise/Live Goods/ Store privileges. @seasonreaper mentioned that he is working on his very own list so if you need info on rare Kala-items, he is your best chance. Of course you can also ask me, while I am certainly not super savvy when it comes to old Kalafina merchandise, I am sure I can find info on pretty much everything Kalafina-related XD

Selected online stores: CDJapan amazon.jp Space Craft Online Store (old) Space Craft Online Store (new) Yahoo Shopping Yahoo Auctions Suruga-ya Wakana Online Shop Mercari

Selected proxy services: Buyee From Japan Tenso (for sites where you can use foreign payment methods but you still need a Japanese address)

Details below the cut!

Music releases: CDs, LPs, DVDs, BDs

Let’s start with music releases. This is usually the first thing you would want to buy as a big fan of a band. As a newcomer, your best bet is CDJapan since it’s super simple and there’s no proxy service required. They still have almost all regular releases of Kalafina’s singles/albums/concerts in stock. There are a handful of limited editions available as well but for the most part, those are sold out. Please note that external and first press boni are only available for a short period of time (they are usually sold out within the pre-order period). CDJapan offers different shipping methods and they ship to A LOT of countries. Their customer service is great, they have helped me out a lot in the past. You can choose from many different payment options. I have never had any troubles with my packages. They have all arrived safely. [I usually pick unregistered SAL/Air Mail. Yup, I am super cheap, I don’t like paying extra for tracking]. Small tip, always mark your order as gift, that usually helps if you want to avoid customs fees.

Now if you want limited/special editions (such as LPs), rare releases (such as the re/oblivious mini album) or you don’t mind buying used products then you will have to consider visiting sites like amazon.jp, Yahoo Shopping, Suruga-ya, Yahoo Auctions and Mercari. These sites offer a wide range of frequently changing products including MANY second-hand items. You will need a proxy-service to order from most of them (Amazon.jp is an exception, they do ship some stuff overseas). While CDJapan offers its own proxy service I would recommend using Buyee (which I linked above). It’s SUPER simple to use and the service fee is minimal (they have sinced increased the fee but it’s still affordable). They ship to quite a lot of countries (various shipping methods) and you can pay with either PayPal or credit card. I advise you to stay away from Yahoo Auctions at the beginning. It’s a great place to find rare items but people are willing to pay crazy amounts of money for them so you will often find yourself outbid (unless you are willing to pay even more money of course XD). Buyee offers an interface for Yahoo Shopping and Mercari so you can browse the site in English. That’s very convenient, purchases are pretty much a piece of cake. A similar interface is offered for Yahoo Auctions (in case you wanna try your luck). On Suruga-ya and amazon.jp you can use the “Add-to-Buyee” app but don’t worry, the sites are super easy to navigate, once you have figured out the basic stuff, it really isn’t a big deal. And believe me, these sites are worth checking out! You can find lots of rare treasures there and often they are being sold for a very reasonable price. But you have to be fast!

Goods/merchandise etc

Live goods and other merchandise are much harder to find. But it’s not impossible. First I’d check out CDJapan, while their selection isn’t as big as it used to be they still have a few pamphlets left in stock. I think you can also find a handful of old live goods there. Then of course you should take a look at the Space Craft Online Stores. Many things are already sold out but there’s still quite a lot to be found there. Beware though, Buyee doesn’t offer its services on these sites. You will have to use another proxy buyer (such as From Japan - I think their service is a bit pricey but they are reliable). You can also register on the fan club sites with an address from TENSO and make payments with your credit card (they DO accept foreign credit cards in the Space Craft online shops).

You will have a lot of luck finding merchandise on the sites that offer second-hand products. It pays off to check the sites frequently because new things are added almost daily (and older things will be sold out just as quickly). But like I said at the very beginning, make sure to write a “wish-list” and always compare prices. Sometimes paying the full price on CD-Japan will be your cheapest option but other times you will save a lot of money by buying a second-hand item (even with all the fees you can still make a good deal). Often a product will be sold for a super high price (usually because the item is rare), be sure to check on all other sites whether you can find a cheaper version!

Some final tips:

Add keywords to your searches if you are looking for something particular. For example, if you are looking for pamphlets, use “kalafina パンフレット”, or like @chibalein has mentioned, if you are just looking for merch and you are not interested in any of the CDs, then type “kalafina グッズ”. That’s very helpful if you are browing sites that offer a wide range of products (like Yahoo Shopping).

Never hesitate to order something if you want it, things are sold out SUPER QUICKLY!

Make sure to only make purchases during the office hours of your proxy service. There’s nothing more frustrating than to find something you have always wanted, to order it and to then be told by your proxy service that by the time they ACTUALLY wanted to buy the item, it was already out of stock so your order had to be cancelled.

Try to keep your packages as small and light as possible (as in, don’t order 5 hardcover pamphlets at once - unless you are ready to pay a lot of shipping). The bigger/the heavier your package is, the more you will be charged for shipping. Sometimes the cheaper shipping methods won’t even be available if your package exceeds a certain weight.

Some screenshots

I’ve prepared some screenshots so you can get an idea of what you have to expect.

The Buyee interface for Yahoo Shopping

When you click on an item, you will be able to add it to your shopping cart.

Once the item is in your shopping cart, you can choose a plan. I ALWAYS choose the Lite Plan. I have never had any issues. You pay the item price and the fee and then the order will be made. Buyee will buy the item for you and a few days later it will arrive at their warehouse. Then you can choose a shipping method (I usually go for SAL or Air Mail) and you can declare your order as gift. You pay for the international shipping (+ domestic shipping in some cases).

Here’s a screenshot of an item on Suruga-ya. This is the regular edition of the album so it’s not exactly special. But it’s still cheaper than buying it on CDJapan. You can use the Add to Buyee App to purchase the album.

[newstfionline]

Six Ways to Save Money

Eric Barker, Barking Up The Wrong Tree, December 31st, 2017.

We’d all like to have more money. (That stuff is really useful, ain’t it?)

Being worried about makin’ the bacon can end your marriage, skyrocket your blood pressure, and even cause your brain to malfunction.

According to Dollars and Sense: How We Misthink Money and How to Spend Smarter, “Money is the top reason for divorce and the number one cause of stress in Americans. People are demonstrably worse at all kinds of problem solving when they have money problems on their mind.”

Thing is, we all make dumb money mistakes, many of which we’re not even aware of. And a lot of those are due to quirks of human psychology.

Luckily, Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at Duke University, has a new book out that explains some of the problems we’re prone to when it comes to moolah and what we can do about them. The book is Dollars and Sense: How We Misthink Money and How to Spend Smarter.

Let’s look at some of what Dan has to say and see how we can save some shekels...

1) “On Sale” Signs Are The Devil

More generally, Dan’s advice is “ignore relative comparisons.” Focus on what the thing costs, not how big a discount you’re getting.

Saving 90% on a bus pass isn’t a great deal if you never take the bus--but we make dumb purchases similar to that one all the time.

It seems that discounts are a potion for stupidity. They simply dumb down our decision-making process. When an item is “on sale,” we act more quickly and with even less thought than if the product costs the same but is marked at a regular price.

And we’re assaulted by these relative comparisons all the time...

You’d never have paid a few hundred dollars for heated seats--but when you’re shelling out tens of thousands of dollars for a car, that extra seems relatively cheap--and so you say, “Ah, what the heck... Sure.” You should judge add-ons separately by their value, not by comparison.

Similarly, paying percentages can be dangerous. 5% might seem small but, again, that can be deceptive. Change the percentage into a dollar amount and objectively ask: “Am I comfortable paying this figure for this service?”

2) It’s Not A “Bonus.” Money Is Money.

Your paycheck goes toward bills and serious stuff. But that unexpected check you received in the mail? That money you won at the casino? That gift card aunt Phyllis sent you? Well, it’s okay to spend that money on frivolous goodies because that’s “different.”

No, it’s not. Money is money.

Every dollar is the same. It doesn’t matter where money comes from… just because in our mind the money belongs to the “bonuses” or “winnings” account--we need to pause, think, and remind ourselves that it’s just money. Our money.

Researchers refer to this as “emotional accounting.” Rationally, a dollar is a dollar. But as rationality-challenged humans, we feel the source of the money affects how we should use it. Bad idea.

People are likely to spend something like their salary on “responsible” things like paying bills, because it feels like “serious money.” On the other hand, money that feels fun--like $300 million in casino winnings--is likely to be spent on fun things, like more gambling.

Studies show that when $200 is called a “rebate” we’re inclined to deposit it in the bank. But when that $200 is called a “bonus” we’re more likely to buy a treat.

Many people treat a tax refund as a “bonus” that they can have fun with. Again, that’s tricky emotional accounting. You didn’t get a bonus; you gave the government an interest-free loan and they’re returning the principal.

How do we actually spend less without having to use any willpower? That’s easy. Make spending painful...

3) Use Cash More Often

Handing someone cash hurts your brain. Seriously. Neuroscience research shows it’s indistinguishable from physical pain.

But we ever-resourceful humans have found a way (many ways, actually) to spend a lot and not feel that pain. The biggest culprit? Credit cards.

Studies have found not only that people are more willing to pay when they use credit cards, but also that they make larger purchases, leave larger tips, are more likely to underestimate or forget how much they spent, and make spending decisions more quickly.

Ever find yourself treating foreign currency like it’s Monopoly money? Ever abuse that Amazon one-click button? Anything that makes transactions simpler and quicker or blurs the process of handing over greenbacks reduces the pain of paying--and makes you more likely to spend.

Writing checks doesn’t cause the same amount of ouch that forking over cash does, but it’s still pretty good because having to write out “five thousand dollars” will give you pause. But credit cards, gift cards, casino chips and nearly all online shopping is a financial opiate and dramatically reduces the pain that keeps your bank account flush.

There is an exception worthy of mention here. The vast majority of the time, increasing the pain of paying is a great idea. But there are occasions where it’s worth it to be pain-free. You don’t want to be saying “owwwww” repeatedly on your honeymoon or during other big milestones. You want to just enjoy the moment.

So whip out the plastic and have fun. But make those occasions rare.

4) “Fair” Is A Four-Letter Word

It’s pouring outside so you’re going to get an Uber. But Uber is surge pricing. “That’s unfair! Forget it. I’ll walk.”

Maybe Uber is taking advantage of you. Maybe they’re not. But the real question is: would you pay the surge price to not arrive home soaking wet? Probably. So you’re not punishing them. You’re punishing yourself.

“Fair is a four-letter word.” That’s what my friend, Chris Voss, former lead international hostage negotiator for the FBI, likes to say. And Ariely’s research agrees.

The concept of “fair” messes with our heads and causes us to reject deals that still offer plenty of value.

Let’s not get caught up in whether something is priced fairly; instead, consider what it’s worth to us. We shouldn’t pass up great value--access to our home, a salvaged computer, getting a ride in winter weather--just to punish the provider for what we think is unfairness.

The concept of “fairness” runs very deep in the human psyche. Nobody likes to feel exploited. And nobody wants to be known as someone who can be exploited.

But most of the time it doesn’t pay to get hung up on the concept of “fair.” Think about whether you’re getting reasonable value for the money you’re paying. Otherwise the person who gets punished will probably be you.

5) Try A “Ulysses Contract”

In Homer’s “The Odyssey”, Ulysses tied himself to the mast of his ship to resist the Sirens’ song.

When you’re thinking about the future you’re pretty rational. But when you’re in the moment, face it: you can be an impulsive moron. So do something now that constrains your behavior later.

Metaphorically, tie yourself to the mast of your ship with a Ulysses Contract. (Or “Odyssesus Contract” if you prefer the Greek. Hey, I’m open-minded.)

A Ulysses contract is any arrangement by which we create barriers against future temptation. We give ourselves no choice; we eliminate free will.

You probably already use a financial Ulysses Contract and don’t even realize it--you call it a 401(k). You made the decision in advance to save for retirement and now your hands are tied.

So go into your online banking account and set up a recurring automatic transfer for every time you get a paycheck. When your salary gets deposited, X amount is immediately shuttled into savings. Research shows this will help you save--a lot.

A study by Nava Ashraf, Dean Karlan, and Wesley Yin found that one group of participants who had their bank accounts restricted--that is, they chose to have money automatically deposited in a savings account--increased their savings by 81 percent within a year.

And Ulysses Contracts aren’t just good for finances; they work for almost any future temptation. Hand your keys to a friend before you go drinking. Have a pal change your passwords on social media accounts when you absolutely need to focus.

6) Drop Anchor

“Anchoring” is a potentially devastating cognitive bias where the first number mentioned in a given scenario unconsciously influences your future choices.

Well-designed menus often have a very high-priced item at the top. It doesn’t make you more likely to buy the filet mignon but it does insidiously make everything else look like a bargain.

Few people pay the manufacturer suggested retail price for a car. But that number is always big and visible when you look at the specs. Whether you realize it or not, it’s affecting the offer you end up making.

So how do you resist an anchor? By having a different anchor in advance. Do your research and know what most people end up paying for that car and the MSRP will have less influence.

Look at your regular purchases and ask if they really make sense and whether there are cheaper alternatives. Personally, I have not updated my phone plan in two decades and am still paying $9 a minute for calls.

Okay, we’re no longer money morons. So when you have more money, then you won’t need to worry about these silly psychology quirks that affect your spending, right?

Wrong.

About 16 percent of NFL players file for bankruptcy within twelve years of retirement, despite average career earnings of about $3.2 million. Some studies say the number of NFL players “under financial stress” is much higher--as high as 78 percent--within a few years of retirement. Similarly, about 60 percent of NBA basketball players are in financial trouble within five years of leaving the game. There are similar stories about lottery winners losing it all. Despite their big paydays, about 70 percent of lottery winners go broke within three years.

The more you earn, the bigger your mistakes will be. So review the common problems your grey matter has with money and learn to make smarter choices. This way you can keep your millions.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #179

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re building the other half of Team Tyrannical Shooting Star, Artoria (Rider Alter)! This version of Artoria is totally a maid, and as such she’s a Battle Master Fighter to coach other servants while wielding sniper rifles and swords, a Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer so she can fight in a swimsuit, and a Zeal Cleric to clean up the battlefield through sheer force of will.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Team Satisfaction H∴T∴E!

Race and Background

Artoria’s still human, but she’s a copy of a copy, so that’s pretty Variant if you ask me. This gives her +1 Dexterity and Charisma, the Insight skill for better... maiding? She also gets the Sharpshooter feat, which lets you ignore disadvantage from long range shots so you can sniper with your rifle, ignore all but full cover, and you can take a -5 penalty to hit with a ranged weapon to deal an extra 10 damage. Basically: boom, headshot.

You’re also a variant Noble for your background, grabbing proficiency with History and swapping out Persuasion for Intimidation. We’ve played this song and dance before.

Ability Scores

In case you couldn’t tell from the feat, we’re investing heavily in Dexterity this time around. Turns out, firing a sniper rifle from the back of a moving motorcycle requires good balance. You also have pretty good Wisdom- you can’t hit a target before you see it, and you can’t clean a mess before you find it either. Third is Charisma, you’re pretty intimidating, and you’ve got to know how to conduct yourself to be a proper maid. Your Constitution isn’t terrible, riding on waves isn’t easy. Your Strength isn’t that high, we just don’t need it, but we’re dumping Intelligence. Your skills in maidery come from persistence, not know-how.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: Staring off as a fighter gives you plenty of goodies right off the bat; proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as Acrobatics and Perception for the aforementioned sniping off a motorcycle, the Archery fighting style for more accurate shots, and Second Wind to heal yourself as a bonus action. Knowing when to sharpen your axe is half the battle of chopping down a tree.

2. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge once per short rest, giving you an extra action for a turn. Maids need to be able to handle a thousand tasks at once, after all.

3. Cleric 1: Bouncing over to Zeal Cleric now makes you a Priest of Zeal right away, letting you attack as a bonus action after you attack with your action Wisdom Modifier times per long rest. You can now (to a limited capacity) dual wield a gun and a sword. You also learn some Spells that use your Wisdom to cast and prepare. Included in the zeal package is Searing and Thunderous Smite in case you wanted to feel like a paladin again.

You also get Guidance to coach your allies, Mending to mend things, and Light to light your master’s way at night since your dumb human eyes don’t work at night. For other spells, Detect Poison and Disease will alert you to areas of filth, and Purify Food and Drink will let you dust a 5′ radius sphere of food to remove it. That is the purpose of dusting, right?

4. Sorcerer 1: We aren’t staying here long, but I wanted to pick up your Draconic Bloodline for your Draconic Resilience, giving you an extra hit point and an AC of 13 + your dexterity modifier while not wearing armor. You also get Draconic Ancestry to double your proficiency bonus against dragons.

You also get another set of Spells, this time using your Charisma to cast. Grab Booming Blade, True Strike, and Magic Missile for more combat focused spells, Friends to make your intimidation checks even easier, Mage Hand to swap weapons more easily, and Expeditious Retreat to speed yourself up. You’re relying on Nero for your bike, but it wouldn’t hurt to be good at running either.

5. Fighter 3: Bouncing back to fighter now for your martial archetype; the Battle Master! When you become a battle master you become a Student of War, giving you proficiency with one type of artisan’s tools. Unfortunately they forgot to make cleaning supplies and option, but you can always go with Cook’s Utensils for the added bonus of getting to feed yourself.

You also get Combat Superiority, four d8s that recharge on short rest. You can spend one die per attack (or in another way, depending on the maneuver) to switch up how your attack works, adding extra effects.

Commander’s Strike forgoes your own attack to give another ally the chance to attack as a reaction, and they add the d8 to their damage. Your Commanding Presence gives you a bonus to your intimidation checks (among others). You also get a Maneuvering Attack, adding the die to your damage and letting an ally move as a reaction without provoking attacks from the target you just hit. If you really want them to move, you can always shoot them instead.

6. Fighter 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to become a Crossbow Expert. This lets you ignore loading on crossbows so you can use Priest of Zeal on your sniper rifle, ignore disadvantage on ranged attacks while enemies are within 5′ of you, and you can officially dual wield a crossbow with your excalibur without needing Priest of Zeal, opening it up for that snipering I was talking about a few clauses back.

7. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack, giving you two attacks per action, three per turn while dual-wielding, or 4-5 with your action surge. Get more done faster, the essence of maiding.

8. Cleric 2: At second level, clerics can Channel Divinity once per short rest in one of two ways. Saying you can Turn Undead is a bit of a stretch, but a lot of ghosts are casters, so I doubt they’d be happy to see you. Alternatively, your Consuming Fervor lets you maximize the damage of one thunder or fire effect for more effective grenades. Only the best; this attention to detail is why you’re a professional.

9. Cleric 3: Third level clerics get second level spells, like your freebies Magic Weapon and Shatter for a better excalibur and a stun grenade. You can also use Enhance Ability for more coaching, and Lesser Restoration to fix up old cars. Wait, that’s not what that spell does?

10. Cleric 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Wisdom for better maidliness and stronger spells.

11. Cleric 5: Fifth level clerics see their turn undead become Destroy Undead, instantly killing any zombies or the like of CR 1/2 or lower who fail their wisdom save.

You also get third level spells this level, like Fireball for a bigger grenade and Haste to turn whatever nonsense Nero builds into a proper racing machine. Speaking of, you’ve got to get your motorcycle seaworthy for your noble phantasm, so pick up Water Walk so it won’t sink.

12. Cleric 6: At sixth level you can Channel Divinity twice per rest, and as a zeal cleric you also get a Resounding Strike when dealing thunder damage to creatures, pushing them up to 10 feet away. You’re a maid, it would just be weird if you couldn’t sweep people off the battlefield.

13. Fighter 6: Use this ASI to become more Alert, to give yourself a +5 initiative bonus, immunity to surprise, and to prevent hidden creatures from attacking with advantage. A maid’s job is never done.

14. Fighter 7: As a seventh level battle master, you Know Your Enemy, letting you spend 1 minute to figure out two characteristics of your enemy. You find out if it is better than, worse than, or equal to you in the following: Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, AC, current HP, Total class levels, and fighter class levels. You also get a 5th die each short rest.

You also get two more maneuvers. Pushing Attack continues that sweeping theme from last time by dealing more damage and pushing the enemy away if they fail a strength save (dc 8+proficiency+dexterity modifier), and Tactical Assessment adds the die to your Investigation, History, or Insight check.

15. Fighter 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity for more accurate shots and more powerful pushes.

16. Fighter 9: Nine levels of fighter make you Indomitable, letting you re-roll a failed save once per long rest.

17. Fighter 10: Your Improved Combat Superiority makes all your maneuvers more deadly, by turning your superiority dice into d10s.

On top of that, you get one more round of maneuvers. Grab a Precision Attack to add the die to your attack roll rather than the damage for super sniping and Sweeping Attack mostly for the name. It lets you attack a second creature with the same roll as the first, dealing the superiority die in damage.

18. Fighter 11: Eleventh level fighters get another Extra Attack each action, and this one does stack with the original, giving you 3 attacks with one action, 4 with your bonus action added in, and up to 7 when you use your action surge.

19. Fighter 12: Use your last ASI for more Wisdom, giving you stronger spells and more Priest of Zeal activations.

20. Fighter 13: Your capstone level gives you a second use of Indomitable each long rest. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s extra protection, which is never a bad thing.

Pros:

Thanks to sharpshooter you have a massive range of combat, and thanks to spells like haste and Nero’s vehicles you’ll have plenty of speed to make the most use of them.

You can deal pretty consistent damage thanks to your bevy of attacks and the sharpshooter feat helping you put holes in heads from hundreds of feet away.

Despite your distance from the rest of the party, maneuvers only have a range based on sight and hearing, so you can freely support the party by giving them extra attacks, and helping them get out of sticky situations with maneuvering strikes, resounding strikes, and pushing attacks. You’re also pretty helpful outside of combat with healing and spells like Enhance Ability to help with skill challenges.

Cons:

While not terrible, your health isn’t great thanks to that dip into cleric and sorcerer. I wouldn’t call it bad necessarily, just try extra hard not to get cornered.

Even with Tactical Assessment helping out a bit, you’ve still got a low intelligence, which might make the more intellectual parts of maiding a bit harder than they need to be.

While your physical attacks are super long range, you’ve still got normal spell ranges, meaning you can’t take full advantage of the sharpshooter feat if you want to chuck grenades as well.

[bog-initiate]

Is there anyone interested in trading HQ scans of bonus papers with me?

Edit (Dec 14th): I’ve already made the trades for the papers I was looking for and for some other goodies, so I’m closing this request. Thank you so much to the people who was interested in the trading, you rock! :)

---------------

Dear Warui Koto Shitai fans who are as madly in love with this series as I am, 

I’ve been collecting the tankobons, Drama CDs, bonuses and special extras of the series since the first volume was published in Japan. I used to be RAWs provider in the past and I also did my own shitty translations of the series from Japanese to Spanish until someone took my work and scans without my permission and used them for other fansubs and uploaded the full colour scans to sites like Zerochan and similar (many of the rare colour scans you find when you google the series are, in fact, originally mine). In that time I was very active in LiveJournal, but after that incident not anymore.

Nowadays, I have my little private collection which I also scan to have a digital backup, but even if I have managed to have many of the bonus papers and tokutens, I have missed some of them, and I’m willing to trade scans for the ones I don’t have if anyone is interested. 

I’ve got most of these bonuses from HorIn Love Books store.

What scanned bonus papers am I looking for?

The ones from ComiComi Studio since they have different versions from the ones I got from HorIn Love Books. I’m also looking for the ones that have been released with the latest Drama CDs.

Anyhow, my priorities are these bonus papers:

Shouwaru Ookami ga Koi o Shita Rashii

Himitsu Ja Nai Kedo

*Click over the titles so you can see the preview of the paper I’m looking for.

What can I offer for the trade?

Any scan of my bonuses collection. They can be more depending on the rareness of what is being traded. I only offer HQ scans, I can provide them in either BMP or PNG to avoid quality loss. 

What bonuses do I own?

Here are some photos of my bonuses collection so you can see it’s real and the scans I’m offering are real too (note that the rest of the papers and other extras are in the transparent bag -I would have spent a lot of time taking a photo of everything so I did by bulks):

And here is the organized digital view of them:

1. Tankobon Bonus Papers:

Papers are always rare and beautiful, that’s why I collect them.

Scans: the average dimension for a B5 size bonus paper is 2850x4000px (note that not all the papers have the same size: there are some that are smaller than B5 and others that are A4).

2. Animate Selection: Jewel 2010 bonus manga and Jewel 2011 cover 

Jewel magazines are very, very, VERY rare. They are never available for sale online: they are exclusive products for the Animate Girl Festival that take place in Japan every year. 

I’ve spent a good amount of money in two of them just to have a cover and two pages, so it really hurt me when someone took the scan of the cover and made it viral in Zerochan. I bet many of you recognize the colour scan from Google. The original scan is mine and is far bigger than the one you find there as you can see. 

3. Animate store bonus papers for Warui Koto Shitai Drama CD:

These ones are super rare. According to Animate, they’re technically papers, however, they are 1-page manga for Mikado x Towa and 1-page manga Shinonome x Yuki. 

4. Animate store bonus B&W illustrations:

5. Dramatic CD Collection bonus manga:

This is the bonus manga that made me left the scanlation business years ago. Same as with some colour scans, someone took it without asking me, translated and viralized without even giving me a single credit. I was mad as hell. Anyway, it still rare and I can trade it for the scans I’m looking for.

6. Colour scans:

Some of these are rare, such as the first two (that are part of a 2008 calendar; maybe you know the cover thanks to Zero-fucking-chan), and bonuses from Toranoana store).

Reminder:

I’m only willing to make exchanges with people who have the bonus papers I don’t have and want a scan of any of the ones I have listed in this post.

If you are interested in trading scans:

Please, contact me via inbox and mention this post, what interests you and what can you offer so we can negotiate the trade. You can also e-mail me.

Thank you so much for your interest!

[gldngrl7]

Karamel Fic: Edging Toward Synchronicity (6/8)

Author: gldngr7

Rating: Explicit

Began: March 11, 2017

Chapters: 8

 Feedback:  Encouragement and constructive criticisms are always welcome.  Flames are destroyed with my freeze breath.

 Author’s Notes:

 We’re back to it.  This is a smut chapter, folks.  The first half is plot though.

 Tagging: @mon-kai-el, @actualpuppychriswood, @pwettypwita, @contygold86, @karamelizedlove, @kelbottumbles, @starcrossed-comets, @emarasmoak, @fangirlintheforest, @ships-sailing-in-the-night, @lostin-the-desert, @somos-poeiraestelar

      Oh lights go down

          In the moment we're lost and found

               I just wanna be by your side

    If these wings could fly

            For the rest of our lives

    --Birdy – “Wings”

 Chapter 6/8

 “But that wasn’t your wife,” Ral’s voice reassures him gently.  “Nor was it your child.  You know that, right?”  His brother places a hand on his shoulder.

“It was so real,” Mon-El says, shaky hands wiping away the salty streams of tears on his cheeks.

“And so it was,” Ral explains.  “But it wasn’t your story.”

“But it was Kara and she was….”

“In dreams our mind mixes up all sorts of things.  It’s like a subconscious….” Ral searches for the right word.  “What’s that children’s party game with a stick and the candy?”

“Piñata,” Mon-El supplies.

“It’s like a subconscious piñata.  Hit your brain with the sleep stick and there’s no telling what goodies might spill out…all in a glorious mixed up mess.  Your mind is trying to process a lot of information right now – some of it new and some of it very old, but freshly remembered.  Memories with a new coat of paint,” Ral chuckles darkly, “but no less ugly.”

“Trel Gand,” Mon-El realizes.  “And Gata Fal-Ur.”

“Yes,” Ral confirms.  “At least…most of it was.”

“But…were those my feelings or his feelings?” Mon-El wonders.

“Probably a little bit of both.  Or a lot of both.”

“It was so real,�� he breathes, slowly gaining control of his emotions.  “The terror, the rage, the love…all of it.  So real.”  A shiver he can’t control races down his spine.

“Remember when we were kids and we found the chest with their personal effects—the ones that survived the Purge?”

It had been a single chest, hidden away by someone who had hoped the disaster of Trel Gand and Gata Fal-Ur might one day be forgotten, but couldn’t bring themselves to destroy what parts of them were left.  Hidden away by someone who must have loved them, despite the stories that circulated.  “I remember.”

“We found the letters inside.  And the journals.  They were real paper, remember?  So their communications couldn’t be intercepted on the Daxcess.  That’s probably why they survived,” he suggests. “No one was looking for them.”

“We were just boys, looking for treasure,” Mon-El recalls.  “I hoped the pages told stories of battles.  Glorious stories of Daxamite victories over the evil Kryptonians.”  He felt mortified on behalf of the bloodthirsty boy he’d once been, before being confronted with the truth of death and loss and the cost one’s soul must pay to learn of such things.  “I wanted to impress Father.”

“That was before we learned the truth.”

“And when you lived for making trouble.”

“Those letters and journals were how I learned of love,” Ral reminds him. “I dreamed of finding a mate like Gata. Someone who would see the obstacles to loving me and laugh in the face of them.”

“You were obsessed,” Mon-El pointed out.  “You tortured me by making me read the damn things out loud until I begged you to let me stop.  I just wanted stories of glory and…heroic deeds.”

“Well,” Ral sighs.  “You were just a child at the time.  You didn’t have your priorities straight.  And you needed the practice reading.”

“I was a year younger than you,” Mon-El counters, affronted on behalf of his childhood self.

“A year can make quite the difference, huh?” Ral shrugs, dismissively. Only the sparkle in his green eyes betrays that he’s teasing.

“You were always softer than I was, Ral.  Father would say it was your mother’s influence.”

“Mother would say you grew up with a skewed sense of self.  You had to keep things inside.”

“She wasn’t wrong,” Mon-El replies, sadly.

“But Earth has done wonders for you, brother.  Cracked open that shell you built to protect yourself from his expectations.  Who’s the soft one now?”

Mon-El snorts, throwing Ral’s words back at him.  “A year can make quite the difference.”  It may have been closer to half a century since they’d actually stood in a room together, comparing and contrasting each other’s faults with good-natured jibing, but it felt like only a short while ago—thanks to pod stasis.

“Maybe in some ways Kara is right.  Perhaps Rao brought the two of you together to…make up for what happened to Trel and Gata.  A second chance at reunification.”

“You don’t believe in Rao,” Mon-El reminds him.

“I’m you, brother.  I believe in what you believe.  Make of that what you will.”

Mon-El considers the implications of Ral’s declaration for a moment before forcing himself to move on.  “What’s left to reunify?” he questions.  “Both of our planets are gone.  Krypton is in pieces and Daxam a wasteland of solar storms and nuclear winter if the reports are accurate.  There’s just…us.”

“Exactly,” Ral rejoices.  “You’ll have things so much easier than Gata and Trel.  None of that palace intrigue and back-stabbing traitors nonsense.  Seems like Rao has conveniently removed most of the obstacles.”

“Most of them?”

“Well, there have to be some obstacles,” Ral lectures, as though this should be obvious, “otherwise it wouldn’t be any fun.”

“I’m having difficulty in seeing where the fun is in the extra vivid memories of Daxam’s destruction, Ral—of your…death.  Oh!  And the added bonus of dreaming about the tragic story of two people I’d never even met.”

“Fun might not have been the right word,” Ral backtracks.  “But obstacles, and overcoming them together, makes you stronger.  So that you can face anything together.”

“I don’t want her burdened by this,” Mon-El laments.

“We take on the burdens of those we love,” Ral counsels.  “It’s our right…our privilege.  Their hurts become our hurts, their scars our scars. Wouldn’t you do the same for her?”

“But she’s never said that,” Mon-El shakes his head.  “She’s never mentioned love.”

“And neither have you.  Does that make it less true?  Would you hesitate, even for a moment, to take her pain as your own?”

“I wasn’t how we were taught,” Mon-El adds.  “How we were raised.  To love one’s mate is unnecessary.”

“But we learned it, brother.  We learned it in their journals.  We saw the other side, and how loving someone can be its own kind of glory.  We saw the lengths Trel went to in order to ensure that their love endured.  You read his last letter, don’t you remember?”

“Loving someone can also be the key to your own destruction.”

“A risk worth taking,” Ral insists.  “Would Trel not say the same, I wonder?   If he were here right now.”

“Not if loving her…destroys her.”

“Don’t be so melodramatic,” Ral groans, melodramatically.  “She’s made of steel.  She can handle it.  Don’t let your fear dictate what happens next.  No one’s ever made a decision steeped in fear that they didn’t regret later.”

“If she does…you know….”

“Love you?”

“Yeah, that.  If she does…then finding out the truth…about what Father did.  That could destroy her,” Mon-El says, twisting the hand towel between his fists until it threatens to split in half.  “That could destroy us both.”

“Or maybe you’re not giving her enough credit.  Look, brother, splash some water on your face and get back to bed. You promised her you’d wake up with her in the morning and sunrise isn’t far off.”

Despite the dream, he’d managed to get about four hours of sleep, more than he’d cobbled together in the last few weeks.  Mon-El heeds Ral’s advice and splashes a few handfuls of cold water on his face, until the red rims around his eyes begins to clear.

“And can I just say…before we go back to radio silence…congratulations, brother!  She truly is a gift…from Rao, if you like.  I never would have taken her for a nestling in bed.”  

“Her surrender…her zeal…was a pleasant surprise,” Mon-El boasts.  

“The caretaker role suits you, Brother…especially when your heart is engaged.”

“I just want to give her what she needs.”

“Tell yourself that all you like, but it’s more than that, and you know it. As a child, your instincts were always to take care of people.  How many cliffs did you pull me back from, huh?  Then you spent nearly two decades trying to deny that part of yourself – trying to find peace in excess and debauchery--”

“Because I knew I’d never find it any other way,” Mon-El interjected.

“Now you have the chance to be true to yourself, both in your relationship and in the outside world. Makes it hard to not believe in a greater plan at work, my friend.  Your needs are perfectly matched to one another.  She needs a caretaker, and you a nestling.  You both find it arousing…fulfilling.  And what’s more…I’m not sure you even realized how much you needed to be a caretaker…excuse me…a ‘Daddy’, until you heard that word come from her lips.  A hole inside of you closed up when she called you that.”

Mon-El studies himself in the mirror, his body already reacting to Ral’s words.  He wants to go back out there and wake her.  Make her his again, in ways they hadn’t even tried yet.  His cock, a moment before just a limp, dangling appendage, is already halfway to hard.

“But…Princess?” Ral asks, his expression one of dubious certainty. “Wasn’t that a little on-the-nose?”

“It’s what they say here when they practice Dexaris,” Mon-El rationalizes.  “Or one of the pet names, at any rate.  It’s no more literal than her use of a term commonly associated with one’s father.”

“Okay,” Ral intones, but in that frustrating way he has in which he implies he doesn’t believe the tale that Mon-El is spinning.  “Whatever you say.”

Mon-El uses the facilities and washes his hands before flicking the light switch and slipping quietly out of the bathroom.  Though he doesn’t know why he bothers – despite her super hearing, she sleeps like the dead.  Somehow, by some miracle, a genuine scream for help will wake her, but he could sing the Daxam Anthem at the top of his lungs to no effect.

She appears not to have moved an inch since he left her in the bed nearly half an hour ago.  A glance out the window reveals that light pink horizon that promises sunrise in the making.  He slips under the comforter with her, his arms itching to tug her into his embrace, but afraid doing so may disturb her so few hours left for her to slumber. Instead, he rolls away from her, settling on his side with his back towards hers while he orders his rapidly heating blood to cool down.

Mon-El closes his eyes and attempts to find a calming tempo for his breath, in hopes that he can get a few more, hopefully dreamless, hours of sleep.

 *****

 In her sleep, she reaches for him, and when she comes up empty, her eyes shoot open.  Had it been a dream? Falling asleep in his arms?  Slightly disoriented from sleeping so heavily, Kara looks around taking stock. Her bed is a shambles, her headboard cracked and off kilter.  She is most definitely stark naked, her body still feeling as though it has been well used.

‘Definitely not a dream,’ she breathes a sigh of relief.

A sliver of light spills from the bathroom and Kara opens her mouth to call for him when she hears the mumbling sound of him speaking.  Without thinking, she turns up her hearing to listen.

“What’s left to reunify?” She hears him ask.  Who is he talking to?  Reunify what?  “Both of our planets are gone.  Krypton is in pieces and Daxam a wasteland of solar storms and nuclear winter if the reports are accurate.  There’s just…us.”  He’s talking about her…about them.

“Most of them?”  After a brief pause he continues.  “I’m having difficulty in seeing where the fun is in the extra vivid memories of Daxam’s destruction, Ral—of your…death. Oh!  And the added bonus of dreaming about the tragic story of two people I’d never even met.”

Ral!  Kara gasps. Wasn’t that the name of his step-brother?  The one who died on Daxam?  He’s having a conversation with his dead brother, she realizes, covering her mouth to hide the sound of her shock.  Perhaps he’s just dreaming.  Sleepwalking? Kara’s mind tries to convince her of this possibility but the sinking feeling in her gut tells her the truth she wishes she could un-hear.  Mon-El sounds completely lucid and comprehensible.  He’s…hallucinating.  

She continues to listen, hearing what she now knows is only one side of a two-part conversation.  Each of his answers revealing the deeper insecurities that lie hidden in his psyche.

“I don’t want her burdened by this,” Mon-El’s voice laments.  He’s worried about the flashbacks and, as she now realizes, his hallucinations.  How long has this been going on?

“But she’s never said that.  She’s never mentioned love.  I wasn’t how we were taught,” Mon-El adds.  “How we were raised.  To love one’s mate is unnecessary.”  Her heart cracks open at his words.  Of course he’s never mentioned love either, but she always thought…hoped.  There had been some uncertainty in the beginning, but she’d thought they were working through all of that.  That choosing each other meant something more.  He’s always seemed so open to it, which is why his words sound incompatible with his behavior.

“Loving someone can also be the key to your own destruction.”

“Not if loving her…destroys her.”

“If she does…you know….”

“Yeah, that.  If she does…then finding out the truth…about what Father did.  That could destroy her,” Mon-El says.  “That could destroy us both.”

She decides to listen no more and powers down her hearing, squeezing her eyes shut as if that’s going to help shut out the things she’s heard. There’s something he’s not telling her, something he’s afraid will destroy her…and by extension…him?  She isn’t entirely sure since she can only hear half of what’s going on in his head.  If only J’onn could read Daxamite minds, she might be able to get some insight.

What had his father done, and to whom?  And what could have possibly been so bad that it even now, so far removed from Daxam, it might threaten to destroy them both?  Her mind races with more questions than she can possibly answer.  She worries over the secret he clearly doesn’t want revealed, but her mind keeps coming back to the hallucinations.  Her mate is having full-blown hallucinations of a dead person and, first things first, that needs to be dealt with.

When she landed on Earth and went to live with the Danvers, she had grieved. The first step, denial, hadn’t been an option open to her.  No one was coming for her.   No ship would breach the sky to retrieve her, to tell her there had been a mistake and that Krypton had survived after all.  From space, in her swiftly escaping pod, she’d seen the bright flash of Krypton’s core overtaking the planet until it exploded, she had felt the shockwave strike her ship.

Transplanted to Midvale USA, Earth, Kara Zor-El spent many nights, in that shared bedroom crying into her pillow, screaming into her pillow, even unexpectedly bursting into tears at the slightest reminder of home and family. On her worst days, sweet Kara Zor-El acted out in ways that could only be defined as a desire to spread pain, and then swamped by guilt, she made promises to Rao that she would be the best possible girl she could be, if only He would bring it all back.  Bring them all back.  

But Mon-El had been allowed none of that.  

Was it because he hadn’t allowed himself to grieve, or because he hadn’t been given the freedom to?  Kara recalls in the early days of their acquaintance, after attempting to send a distress call back to Daxam, had shaken off ‘dreary’ thoughts in favor of more diverting activities.  At the time, she had dismissed this action as the frivolous behavior of a typically boorish Daxamite, rather than the act of man in an intense state of denial.

He’d been given neither the room nor the time to process the sheer enormity of his loss.  Is it any wonder that his mind would find a way to force it, even if it was only internally?

Why hadn’t she seen it for the mask it really was?  Perhaps if she had, his grief might never have progressed to this dangerous state.  A nightmare likely drove him from their bed to seek sanctuary in the bathroom, where he could converse openly with his hallucinatory step-brother while she presumably slept.  These are the types of signs for which Eliza warned her to be on the lookout.

Out of her depth in this arena, Kara recognizes that she will have to seek help in the morning, from J’onn and her mother, and even Alex. Perhaps together they can determine a plan of action.

Kara hears the toilet flush and the water in the sink turn back on, moments before he emerges from the bathroom, at last.  Lifting the comforter, he slips into the bed, and she waits for him to pull her back into the warm shelter of his arms, but he doesn’t. Instead, after a few moments hesitation he rolls over, turning his back to her.  When he clearly needs her most, he eschews even the simplest comfort she has to offer in a ludicrous, and frankly hurtful, effort to keep her at arm’s length from what he’s suffering.

Still and silent, Kara sends a prayer a Rao, seeking His guidance and some sign of where to go from here.  She could be angry, she knows, about the things he holds back from her, about the lack of trust and faith he has in her – after all the trust she’s bestowed upon him.  She could rage and rant about all of it, but a voice whispers inside that such actions would solve nothing and serve only to push him further away.  And she can’t afford that.

Right or wrong, for good or for ill—broken or whole—she loves him, and it’s a love stronger than she could have ever imagined in her girlhood fantasies. Even if that love may not be returned yet, she places her faith in Rao that someday it will be.  That his love is a fait accompli…meant to be…and so she will move forward into the future as his ordained mate.

As his stardust.

Tomorrow she will seek help, but tonight she can offer the kind of comfort of which she has endless amounts.  Even while ostensibly sleeping.  Eyes closed and trying to give her movements the appearance of shifting in her sleep, Kara thrashes about as though searching for his warmth.  She butts up against his broad back, pressing into him so that her naked skin seals against his.  Placing her forehead between his shoulder blades, Kara breathes into him, breathes him in, relaxing into his solid form as she tucks her legs against the backs of his and snakes one arm around his chest.  Slowly, their breathing synchronizes until they’re both back on the edge of sleep.

Everything will start getting better tomorrow, she tells herself. Help is just a phone call away. She needs to make him see that she’s here for him, no matter what.  Once he understands that, they can get him on the road to recovery.  Kara feels the fingers of one of his hands interlace with hers, and she takes it as a sign that he accepts her offered comfort.

His hand now in hers, Kara allows sleep to overtake her once more.

When next she opens her eyes, the morning sun streams through the floor-to-ceiling windows of her bedroom, high in the sky, but not too high.  A quick glance reveals that her alarm clock is twenty-three minutes from total meltdown. Her body is already needy because sometime during sleep, their positions had reversed and Mon-El now spoons behind her, one of his legs wedged between hers, his lower thigh pressed to her gathering heat.  One of his hands cups a breast like it’s the touchstone anchoring him to this reality, as his steady breath tickles the sensitive crook where her neck and shoulder meet.  His cock is like a red-hot poker sandwiched between her ass and his pelvis, so she’s acutely aware that at least part of him is awake.

Kara rolls her hips, simultaneously teasing his cock and riding his knee until she can feel the heat banking within her.  Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, she attempts to bite back a greedy moan, and fails miserably.  Kara reaches for his thigh, urging it upwards to provide more pressure to her increasingly sensitive core.

She knows the exact moment Mon-El comes fully awake, because his grip on her breast tightens and his knee takes over some of the work of pushing her to the brink.  His mouth latches onto her shoulder, nipping and sucking at her skin, working his way up to settle at the shell of her ear as she rides his knee with masochistic languor.   “Does my little nestling need me this morning?”

“Yes,” Kara sighs, her hips continuing their drive, as she grows wetter and wetter.  She maintains her arousal, like stirring a pot to keep the concoction from boiling over, but she wants to wait for him before letting go.  Her need for him is a conundrum, because the more she has of him, the more she desires, like a boundless gluttony in the face of an unending banquet.  Each time they finish, sweaty and sated, she believes her desire quenched, only to have it return more quickly than she could have imagined and with twice the fervor. Is it like this for everyone?  Or is it simply because the yellow sun radiation constantly replenishes their energy stores?

Mon-El bites down on her earlobe hard, eliciting a gasp from her and driving her shoulder up protectively towards her ear.  “Yes…?” he growls, expectantly.

“Yes…Daddy,” she provides, the smile that lazily crosses face uninhibited and completely reflexive.

“Good girl,” he purrs.  She can practically hear his smile as he tucks his face into her neck and cants his hips into her ass, rubbing his cock into the crease between her cheeks.  With his thumb and forefinger, Mon-El pinches her nipple, drawing the bud out with a tug and a sharp twist.  The initial pain she feels, causing her to moan, settles into warm charge that travels straight to her core, providing another gush of lubrication.  Her body prepares the way for him each and every time, and with very little effort on his part.  “I need you now,” he rasps.

Mornings are an all-fire rush for him.  He can exhibit the same kind of control he usually does, but there’s something about surrendering to his body’s primal urges first thing in the morning that he finds particularly satisfying.  And judging from the warm, wet heat on his thigh, she requires no further cajoling.

“I need you, too, Daddy,” she mewls, her voice barely above a whisper. “All the time,” she confesses. “It never stops.”

“I know, Princess.  It’s the same for me.”  Abandoning her breast, his hand slides up and clasps her chin, turning her face to his waiting mouth.  Kara opens for him even before their lips touch and they taste of each other, dinking down each other’s flavors like it’s the rarest of wines.  “Every time,” he tells her when he’s capable of prying his mouth from hers.  “I only want you more afterwards.”

Twisting her torso a bit, Kara reaches behind her, in between their bodies and locates his hardened length of patient steel.  Her fingertips tease but don’t grasp and the sensation is so staggering that his throat swallows reflexively and he must force his hips to remain still so that they don’t demand more than she’s willing to give.

“I like the way your cock feels, Daddy.”

“Do you, Princess?”  His hand still cups her chin, encompassing her lower face, fingers on one cheek, while his thumb strokes her bottom lip.

“Mmm-hmmm,” she replies, licking her lips and catching a taste of the tip of his thumb.  “Like velvet.”  A pout forms on her lips and a crinkle grows between her eyebrows.  “I wish there could be nothing between us.”

“I know,” he commiserates.  “And you felt like heaven around my cock the one time there wasn’t. Gods, you are so perfect, Kara. Soon,” Mon-El promises.  “One way or another.”  He imagines taking her when she’s ripe with his child – as ripe as she was in his dream.

“One way or another,” she echoes.  “You’ll fill me up, won’t you?  Fill me with you?”  A mischievous twinkle lights her eyes before she sucks his entire thumb in to the warm cavern of her mouth.

Like giving his thumb a blowjob, she sucks and sucks, bobbing her head up and down, her tongue swirling around the tip, until he’s finding it difficult to think straight.  “Hand me a condom,” he orders quickly, before the raging beast inside that wants to fill her with his seed—wants to breed her—takes over.

Lest he change his mind, as if he would, she scrabbles for the box in the open drawer of the bedside table at speeds invisible to the human eye. “Stay right where you are,” he commands, taking the package from her and shifting to his back just long enough to roll the condom down his shaft and secure it in place.

Losing access to the pressure of his thigh between her legs, she burns for him even more now and leans into him when he rolls back into her. Skin to skin, she can feel him from head to toe, his back against her back, his massive, muscular thighs pressing to her toned, but far more delicate ones.  She heaves a sigh of relief when she feels the head of Mon-El’s cock line up to her covetous entrance, the burn for him becoming nearly more than she can handle.

“Will you—“ he begins.

“Yes, please!” she interrupts.

“If you won’t let me ask, then tell me so I know I have your permission.” His fingers at the base of his cock, he teases her with the tip, sliding back and forth through the slick seam, from the entrance to clit and back again, over and over as her hips writhe with anticipation.  “Say the words.”

“You know what I need, Daddy,” she pleads, her breath coming hard fast as she throws her head back.

“I do,” he concurs, “but I will never take you without your word. Our games can be tricky, Princess. I need to know you want it as much as I do, every step of the way.”

“I do,” she whimpers, nodding her head.  “I want it so bad.  I need you inside me.  Fuck me, Daddy.  Please? Please, fuck me?”

Mon-El loves to hear her beg, loves that high pitched tone only he gets to hear, but has no desire to torment her.  At least not this morning.  He enters in one slow stroke, as deep as he can go in this position. Spooning from behind, on their sides, this position isn’t about depth, it’s about proximity.  It’s about being close to her, their bodies aligned from head to toe, her pressing back to meet his thrusts as he whispers filthy things into her ears.

Her body remembers him, welcomes him into her like a he’s a soldier come home from war, jubilant and reverent at the same time.  Their position prevents the deepest penetration but the sensation of his hot breath on her ear and the way his hand snakes under her arm and grasps her shoulder for leverage helps to compensate admirably.

Mon-El pumps in and out of her slowly at first, just enjoying the searing heaven of her slick, clasping clutch.  The same muscles that grasp at his cock as he retreats provide an excruciating resistance upon his return that is nothing short of sublime.

Kara turns her head looking for his mouth and he is only too happy to oblige, feeding her his grunts of effort while rapaciously dining on the mewling whimpers of her unguarded pleasure.  He savors her inarticulate pleas as she devours the fruits of his labor and for both, it is a gluttonous banquet of the richest cuisine.

Words of encouragement or instruction quickly become unnecessary as they’ve learned to read between the lines of each other’s body language.  The way her body tenses, her legs and thighs quivering, fingers clamping down on the comforter like a vise grip tell him that all she needs is the final push over the edge.

His grunts vibrating into the skin of her neck and shoulder begin to resemble to long, purring growl of a predator on the hunt and his thrusts turn feral, so she knows he won’t last much longer.  Kara bends her outside leg, pivoting it upwards and lifting it closer into her body, opening herself up more for his hungry cock.  Sliding a shaking hand between her legs, she dips two fingers into the wet seam of her exposed folds and locates the swollen bundle of nerves that cries out for attention.

Mon-El slithers his bearing arm between her head and the pillow, wrapping it around until it crosses her neck and clasps onto her opposite shoulder. His free hand bats hers away, which was busily manipulating her clit to very little effect.  “I’ve got you, baby,” his voice grates like sandpaper against her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.  “You just let go.”

And she does.  Kara’s body melts into him, allowing herself to be ridden by the rhythmic pounding of his cock, the sensations of fullness, of heat racing through her veins and sparking her nerve endings, and of something inescapable washing over her like a tidal wave.  Everything goes white and bright behind closed eyelids, her mouth opens wide for a scream that is silent but no less…there. Kara hears his voice praising her.

“That’s…my…girl,” he raves, fucking her through the climax, prolonging and amplifying it.  “So tight…gods…your clutch wants my cock so bad.  Do you want my come, too?”

“Yes,” she cries.

“I’m going to fill you until your womb can’t hold anymore.”  Finding something inside of himself he never before could have imagined was there, Mon-El’s hand slips from her snatch and settles on her belly.  “Do you know…what it…does to me?”  

In his heightened state of arousal it would not have taken much to send him reeling, but just the thought of it, of his child growing inside of her, does the trick.  A streak of searing electricity causes his heavy balls to constrict, like drawing taut the band of a slingshot before letting loose its ordnance.  “Fuck!” he curses when he finally lets go, his pelvis bucking into her backside with stinging force.  Reflexively, his arms tighten like a vise around her as he empties the rest of his load with three more thrusts.  Each plunge is more debilitating than the last, as if every release passes something integral from him over to her, leaving him utterly enervated by the time he finishes.

With the last shudders of his orgasm Mon-El’s arms go limp around her, and he has just enough lucidity remaining to kiss the back of her neck and along her shoulders.  Reverently, in the bubble of communion their lovemaking has created, he showers her with the love he feels but cannot yet say.

As always, separating from her is a near-traumatic experience for the both of them, but as he must for now, he carefully withdraws and rolls onto his back, his body spent.  His mind, however, experiences a brief, post-orgasmic moment of clarification that will fade all too soon as his heart rate returns to normal and his body enters its refractory period.

Perhaps he can blame it on the nightmare, the emotional conversation with Ral afterwards, or waking up with her in his arms and the sun peeking through the windows, but something about the morning sex with Kara has taken its toll on him.  Physically and emotionally.  Learning that she could be pregnant, a phenomenon unseen on Daxam since Gata Fal-Ur and another seven generations before her, and then seeing it so vividly in his dreams, had stirred up emotions he had never imagined himself capable.

He remembers, like the itch of a phantom limb, the way their son moving under her skin felt against his palm and he wants to weep with the incomprehensible loss of it.  But despite the desolation, there had been emotional profit in the dream as well.

Growing up, he’d always known that siring a child, continuing his bloodline, was a duty he would one day have to fulfill—would be forced to fulfill, one way or another.  To say he had been preveniently resentful of any future offspring would be an understatement of galactic proportions. The very thought of having a child, of giving his father exactly what he wanted, was abhorrent to him.  Mon-El had actively taken measures to prevent siring offspring, both by receiving secret injections of the male hormone suppressors that would prevent his seed from taking root, and by purposefully choosing women with who to cavort that his father would view as genetic undesirables.

But those feelings of resentment are gone now, evaporated like an ice cube in the face of Kara’s heat vision.  Falling in love and letting go of the reasons that, brick-by-brick, built that resentment, means that he can see the possibilities that lay ahead and look forward to them.  Even if he and Kara aren’t quite ready to dive in head-first.

Kara rolls to her back next to him, not quite willing to muster the energy to shift all the way to her side yet.  She splays an arm across him, the back of her sifting through the patch of hair on his abdomen, so that she can maintain an intimate contact with him.  So addicted to him, to his attentions, it’s emotionally difficult for when he has to pull away.  “What are you thinking?” she asks.  

A flash of concern strikes her and she wonders if he’s seeing or hearing from his hallucinatory step-brother right now. Kara stuffs down the bubble of jealousy that rises within her.  She doesn’t want to share him when they’re like this, but at the same time…it doesn’t make sense to be jealous of something that isn’t real.  It’s a waste of emotion, her brain tells her.  Too bad her heart doesn’t seem to listen.

Mon-El removes his condom and ties it off as best as he can, curling it into his fist, because he’s not quite ready to crawl away from her.  Reaching up, he tucks his other hand under the back of his head.  “I never wanted children,” he says.  “The idea was…well…repugnant isn’t too harsh of a word.”

Kara’s breath comes to a full stop, and her stomach clenches involuntarily with dread.

“But the reasons for that are all gone now.”

“They are?” she asks, trying not to sound too hopeful.  Though he doesn’t explain, Kara thinks she understands what he’s saying.  That his promises the night before of being in this together were about more than mere lip service.  And something happened between then and now to make that more concrete for him.

“Huh,” he says, a notion popping into his head fully formed, liked being handed an infant from the birthing matrix, without having watched it grow or develop.

“What?”

“Losing Daxam didn’t take everything from me,” he declares, feeling a piece of his shattered soul reform and shape into something new.  “Losing Daxam gave me some things, too.”

“Like…what?” she urged softly.  She didn’t want to press too hard, or force him to say more than he was ready to admit.

“The freedom to find out who I am without being told.”

“Krypton was like that, too,” she commiserates. “Birthing matrices were more efficient and resulted in fewer anomalies and mutations.  So they thought they could shape us into what they wanted, what they thought society needed, before we took our first breath.”

“And what did Krypton make of you?”

“My father was a scientist—a seeker—and my mother fought for justice.”

“So reporter and superhero….”

“I guess I never tried to fight my nature,” she comments.

“Because it’s a noble one.”

“What did they want to make of you?” Kara wonders.

He sighs, wondering if the time to tell her the truth is now, but knowing that he doesn’t have the courage, at least not completely. Not while he’s this naked…this vulnerable.  “A breeder,” he replies.

“I don’t…understand.”  Finally, she finds the energy and the wherewithal to shift her body towards him.  For the most part because she sends a wave of ennui pouring off of him in waves.  “Why would they want to breed a palace guard?”

“I have good genes.”

Kara grins and places a flirty, suggestive kiss on his pectoral.  “I can’t argue with that.”

Her joke draws a smile from him, helping him to shake off his lingering melancholy.  “Anyway…no one’s telling me what I have to want anymore.  I’m making my own decisions.  Or trying to…anyway.  It’s sad I had to lose my whole planet to gain that.  And I know that I want you and everything that comes with you.  I want a life and a partnership and a secret identity and a suit,” he chuckles.

“And…the other?”

“Whenever it happens…however it happens.  It’s not just something…I’m here for.  It’s something I want to be a part of.”  His hand slips out from beneath the back of his head and seeks hers, their fingers interlacing.  “Something that would…honor me.”

It’s another reason to feel that sense of relief, because the pink elephant hasn’t stopped weighing down her since that night in DEO gym and not just because of the bad timing of it all career-wise (for both of them), or because it’s so early in their relationship, but because of something far more worrisome and potentially sinister.

“What if…?” she begins, second-guessing whether she should share this burden with him – plant this seed on his already haunted mind.

“What if…what, Kara?”

“What if they won’t let us?” she asks.

“What if who won’t let us?”

“There’s a Senator in Congress, the one who submitted the bill for Alien Registration,” she explains.  “Alex heard rumors that she’s working on something new. Something that will make it legal to take away our reproductive rights.”

“Can they do that?” he queries.  It seems excessively cruel that he could be taken from a planet that tried to force its reproductive agenda upon him, only to end up on a planet that might seem determined to vote away his right to parenthood.  He and Kara both come from dead planets, they should have the right, if not the duty, to salvage of that what they can.

“They can try,” Kara replies.  “But, honestly…the government isn’t what worries me the most.”

It doesn’t take Mon-El long to connect the same dots that Kara already has.  “Cadmus,” he breathes, a red-hot fury rising up within him, utterly destroying the post-coital cloud upon which he floated only a moment ago.

“After the lengths they went to capture me just to get some of my blood.  It frightens me to think what lengths they would go to just to get their hands on our child.  What they might try to learn from her…or him.  How they could….” She can’t bear to finish the thought, let alone the sentence.

“That is never going to happen,” Mon-El vows, rolling towards her and taking her face in his hands, his Teflon-eyes boring into hers, sharp like knives.  “I swear to you…if anyone ever tries to harm our child, I will burn down the world to end them.  It may not be what Daxam taught,” he adds, “but it’s what my heart knows is right.”

Ending anyone, even the worst of villains, has always been a last resort for her.  Bringing death and dispensing justice are not the same things, because sometimes death is too pat an ending for those who toil in the service of harming others in the name of power.  People like Lillian Luthor.

But this is different.  This isn’t about being a superhero or playing by any set of rules designed to keep the general public safe and to maintain their trust.  This is about adhering to a set of rules designed to keep one person safe and an authority higher than she can possibly overrule instituted those rules.  These new rules are primal and unassailable and she knows that she is only getting a glimpse of the true allegiance they will compel.  

“We’ll figure something out,” she says, quirking one side of her mouth in a smile meant to be reassuring.  “If I’m pregnant we’ll find a way to…hide it from the public.”

“Hide it?”

“Well, yeah,” she replies with a shrug.  “Private Citizens Kara Danvers and Mike Matthews can have a child, but Supergirl and Valor should probably keep things professional. Lillian Luthor is savvy; she would make the connection easily, especially based on what she already knows. If she hasn’t already.”

“You don’t think your adoptive father would have…?”

“No,” she shakes her head.  “Never.  Not after everything he’s done to keep me safe.”

“We’ll find a way,” he promises.  “If I have to change my name again, change my disguise, and change my job…I swear to you, I won’t let anyone harm our Kryptamite.”

Kara’s forehead creases with a mixture of humor, confusion, and intrigue. “Kryptamite?” she echoes, a smile slowly spreading across her face.  “You didn’t want to go with Daxatonian?”

Mon-El chuckles, remembering the blissful moments of the dream as if they had been real moments from a long-lost past between them.  “No,” he tells her.  “Kryptamite sounds better.”

Kara nods and smiles.  “I think so, too.”

  TBC

  ·      

[aprisonlovestory-blog]

I’ll continue on a bit here...

At fourteen, I looked a bit older then I actually was. Already touching 6′ and my body was filling out nicely. I was young but acted much wiser than my years. I had an arrogance that youth seemed to command, still sure in the knowledge that I had many years ahead of me in which to live my life and possibly achieve a few of my dreams. Life was hard and sometimes unfair but you had to play the hand you had been dealt.

At sixteen, I was working when I should have been in school, I was dressed like a skid, even though how I looked was all-important to me. I didn't’ have too many friends because I couldn't afford to take part in their teenage fun, everything it seemed cost money. I was an outcast among people who were classed as the poorest of the poor. I was trying everyday to build myself up and make something of my life, instead of ending up dead or in jail as my adoptive parents and teachers always told me I would. Sometimes I would want to cry because of the pressure, but I had to force back the tears because I knew, even they were a luxury I couldn’t afford.

I had skipped adolescence and commenced strait to adulthood. I had taken to walking home through the back roads, knowing that I’d be an easy mark for scrappers or thugs. I craved the danger. I wanted to toughen up and be fully immersed in the lifestyle.

At seventeen, years old I already understood that clothes did make the man, no matter what anyone else might think. If you dressed well, spent some dollars and looked cool, people automatically treated you better, which in turn made a difference to how you perceived yourself at the end of the day.

At nineteen, I was beginning to make lots of money, this had been a long time coming and I was going to make it my life's work to prove everyone wrong. I wasn’t always a scrapper but throughout my teenage bits in and out of youth detentions centers, I had been forced to fight and unveil the fact that I was a natural born fighter. It was a fulfilling  power, in which I was determined to protect myself and others from those who sought to attack the innocent. They would feel the wrath of my pain for every time I was punched, every kick and every thrashing I’d had received when I was younger. I realized it was easy to hurt people, a gift I assumed I partly inherited from my abusive parents. Most people talked a good fight but very few could actually have one. I was going to make a name for myself that was something other than a lowlife, drunk or a waster/ I was going to make a name for myself that garnered respect. Making a life for myself was my spark. I wanted to live the “good life”. I wanted a place to call my own that I enjoyed going home to, not just a place to lay my head and keep the rain out. I promised myself I would never end up like my parents. I was going to live my life to the fullest. Or die in the fucking process.

I looked in the face of the junkie. I didn’t like him. He had a wonky eye so you weren’t sure if he was looking at you or waiting for a bus to come around the corner. The dark circles and sullen cheeks were bad enough, but he also had the added bonus of dilated pupils and scummy flecks of creamy mucus at the corners of his mouth. “Look man, do you want the fucking things or not?” It was dark, and the night air was damp. I was tired and not about to get into a full scale conversation with someone who could barely remember his own name most of the time. I’d begun to sell drugs roughly six months prior as a way to make extra money, but the amount of addicts and retards that I had to deal with on a daily basis was too much even for the added income I’d accumulated. The crackhead pulled a wad of money from his back pocket and snatching it impatiently, I counted it quickly. I knew it wouldn’t be right, but you could never be sure with meth heads. Especially if the addict considered himself a dealer. I handed over the bag of ecstasy pills, which were in fact short, nearly thirty then the agreed amount, but when you’re dealing him more than two hundred pills, a junkie never notices things like that. Counting the bag of goodies would be beyond him, even if he had gotten his head together enough to attempt it. As the crackhead scurried away, I gave it a few seconds before stepping out of the dark alleyway. I stepped into the bright light of the streetlights, scanning the pavement walkers for anything that seemed suspect. Walking through the junkies milling around, in my coat that looked far more adult than anything else someone my age would be wearing. Most of whom were dressed in cheap sneakers and over sized hoodies. It made me feel a slight stab of sorrow for them, because I know they had no idea about life, their own of anyone else’s. It was at this point, when I realized this was not the path in which I was to follow, as much love as I had for the streets of Vancouver, it was not my calling to prowl them at night in search of added cash. It was time to find a new adventure for wealth. Before this all the legit jobs I had worked were basic labor jobs, I wanted to find something more along the lines of a career. My first attempt was a restoration company called “ABC Restoration”. I loved the work, they did emergency restoration jobs on houses or buildings affected by fire, water or flooding, mold and/or asbestos. It suited my personality great, doing mild demolition work even sometimes wearing a hazmat suit and mask, something I also thought was cool. I was earning good money and loving life, soon after that approximately two years later, business got slow and I was laid off. My next job/potential career choice was at a printing press and I began to aspire to be printing press operator. Now, being in my early twenties, I started to party aggressively. I had worked as a press operator for some time now and earning more money then I ever had before, I began to let loose a bit. I worked four ten hour days, Monday to Thursday, giving myself three days off. During the three days,for roughly 2 and a half years, I partied hard. Mainly frequenting clubs and bars I consumed copious amounts of drugs and in turn, spent a large portion of my savings that I had gathered over the years. In 2011 I got laid off my job at the press from my constant nights of fun, which had slowly started to affect my work. Even though I had a great boss with his relaxed “boys will be boys” attitude towards hungover mornings which granted me some slack, he had finally had enough. I needed a change. A change in friends and a change of location. As luck would have it, the week of my job loss, my youngest brother Jacob messaged me asking if one day I’d ever come visit and that if I did I could live with him. I agreed and four days later I was in Calgary. Being in Calgary gave me a new and different outlook on life. A nice home, with a nice family that supported each other was something I have never experienced before. I actually felt like I belonged, it was what I’d always longed for, but god had other plans for me. Like all good things to ever come my way, this too came crashing down.

It was the night of November 23, 2011. and I had just arrived home after a night of hanging out with some friends. After saying goodnight, I shut the car door and started up the snowy driveway. It had been snowing most of the day, and now at 3 am it was almost a blizzard. walking up the driveway I noticed almost every light in the house was on, which was strange because usually by midnight the house is pitch black. I turned the handle and stepped inside to see my aunt and uncle and a my little brother Jacob sitting together on the couch with tear-filled eyes. Alarms started going off in my head, had they found my weed that I kept in a shoe box under my bed? “Chance” my aunt began, “Its about Zeek.” Panic swept through my body like a wave. My brother Zeek had been staying at my place for the past year, and before I left assured me that he would be OK staying with friends. “Hes passed away.” She continued, no sooner did I hear those words did the sickening feeling of dread come crashing through my body, forcing me to back out the front door. I walked in a t shirt through the blizzard that night with my heart in my throat and the most immense, intense feeling of sadness I had ever felt. My uncle picked me up a short while later, and I began to weep for the first time since I was a child, for my brother, who I hadn’t been there to protect, forcing him into a situation where he would've never had to be in, thus leading to his death. The details regarding his death I would like to remain private. 

After my bothers passing I fell into a dark depression, fueled by alcohol I sank deeper and deeper. I blamed myself for what had happened, and though offing myself overnight was not an option, self sabotage was.I cashed in my mutual funds and RRSP prematurely and moved back to Vancouver the summer of 2013. Cocaine, GHB, Ketamine and alcohol were the weapons I began to use against myself in hopes for relief from this life, this life that I desperately wanted to be rid of. The agonizing blame was too much to handle. Although in passing, I would smile and laugh, deep inside the sorrow filled turmoil constantly churned. In 2014 I received a job opportunity to work in northern Alberta, Grande Prairie doing oilfield work. Three months after moving there with my girlfriend that I was with at the time, we broke up, she stayed with her mom and I moved in with some friends from work. The first half of 2015 was like a dream, I was dating the perfect girl, had a great job and a fresh start in a new city. Even my constant blame I felt for my brother began to subside, but like every other good thing to every come way this to would soon be snatched away. It was just after Jenny and I returned from our summer vacation, when things started to turn south. I had heard recently that my older bother James was still harboring resentment for my bothers passing. 

This is turn sparked me to make a slide show video with music in memory of Zeek. Old feelings began to return and within weeks I was using drugs and drowning myself in booze. My work started to suffer, and worst of all my relationship with my dream girl also began to feel the pressure of my self sabotage... not too long after I ended up where I’m currently sitting, writing this story from my cell on One Alpha Boot camp. If I can get my trial to be dropped from federal to provincial then it will be this summer of 2017, if not then my trials set for July 4, 2018. I have a multitude of self help books here on our unit that I have been reading, many of the authors with PhD’s. Book ranging from spirituality, mental alertness, affirmations for success and philosophy. Everyday I’m getting stronger and wiser, not just physically but also mentally. I’m meditating daily and can feel my love and awareness for other growing. Although I did what I had to do in order to save two lives, unfortunately taking a life in the process was the end result. I know now I will never put myself in that sort of situation again. And you know, I hope whoever reads this, that you find the love and peace that we each deserve and thank you for taking the time to read my story, 

In closing, I leave you with something I call “WAKE UP”.