#but for some reason they cost like four times as much as these two

[steveslevis]

i love you, it’s ruining my life

azriel x cassian's sister!reader - part 2 of 3

summary: Rhysand sends you on the mission to Windhaven alone, and things do not go as planned.

warnings: mentions of violence/blood, poison, mentions of previous assault and past trauma, Azriel being oblivious and upset again

word count: 5.5k

Windhaven, the place you once called home.

Now the place you avoided at all costs, the place where you lived through your worst nightmares and recollected them every single night while trying to sleep in the hell hole of a cabin you were going to be staying in for the night. 

You tried your hardest to forget about the night that would haunt you for the rest of eternity, tried to will it from your memory, tried to put up an obsidian wall around it to lock it in. 

But there was no forgetting what happened to you, not now, not ever. There was no trusting a male fully ever again, all thanks to the Illyrian customs.

Cillian was the first and last male you ever trusted. He gained your trust, made you fall in love with him, then ripped you to shreds, mentally and physically. The only male you ever trusted was the same one who lured you into that wretched cabin alone and held you down with a knife. 

I love you, he had whispered in your ear all those years ago while pinning you to the floor, your wings spread as the knife pressed against one of the central tendons, I just have to do this so everyone knows you’re mine. So you can be a normal Illyrian female. 

He was mere centimeters from clipping your wings when Rhysand heard your silent cries, busting into the cabin, making the wicked male scramble away in fear of what might happen to him. 

You knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep at all during your stay in the camp, but it was probably better that way. That way you could stay on guard all night, that way you could watch your own back. You had to prove to Rhysand and the rest of the Inner Circle that you could be treated like a grown female, that you were willing to do anything for the Night court. 

There wasn’t much time when you arrived at the cabin, you had to set your bag inside and leave almost immediately, heading towards Lord Devlon’s hall for dinner. 

As much as Devlon hated your brother, he had nothing but respect for you. That might be partially due to the threats you’d set into his mind a few hundred years ago, or the fact that you’d beat him during training multiple times, but the reason didn’t matter. It was more beneficial for you to be the one to show your face in Windhaven this time around and you knew that, regardless of how much it made your stomach turn. It was important that someone from the Inner Circle came to Windhaven every once in a while under the guise of making sure the camp was still in order, so this was the perfect opportunity to gain important insight as well. 

So you sat at the long table for dinner, chatting with those around you in the most civil tone that you could. You couldn’t bear to eat in all honesty, just the thought of having to stay in the cursed cabin for even eight hours for sleep was enough to make you lose all appetite. So, you opted for pushing around some potatoes and meat on your plate all while chugging down four glasses of faerie wine throughout the two hours you were there.

You coincidentally sat to the right of Cormac during the meal, who had Balvard sitting on the left of him, making it almost too easy for you to infiltrate their minds and figure out their foolish plan. The two of them were under the impression that they would be able to take out Devlon with a faebane dagger and control the camps with ease. It made you scoff to yourself when you discovered that neither of them had a backup plan, as if that was going to work out so smoothly for them. 

The remainder of dinner after finding out the information you needed consisted of you bantering with some of the Illyrians you had grown up next to, ones who had turned into great warriors through training at Windhaven. The sun had been set for hours by the time you made your way back to the cabin, setting up some wards as you stepped over the threshold. 

Exhaustion hit you almost immediately upon changing into your sleep clothes, eyelids heavy as you relaxed onto your side in the large bed next to the fire you’d just lit. You’d assumed you would be wired at this point, you’d planned on not sleeping at all due to the fear instilled deep in your bones. 

You cuddled into the blankets, the familiar scent of your old home giving you an eerily comforted feeling passing through your gut. Solace filled you once you threw up a final shield around the small cabin, setting you at ease to know nobody could come in unless you let them in.

Before you knew it, you were fast asleep on the bed.

You awoke a few hours later, disturbed by the noise of the front door swinging open. Your body felt paralyzed in the moment, lethargy taking you over as you slowly turned your head towards the noise. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion as you watched the two males stalk through the door, unable to react in any way as your eyes trailed up to see Cormac and Balvard stepping over the threshold. The smirks on their faces told you everything you needed to know about what was about to happen. 

You wracked your brain for how this could’ve happened, how you were immobilized by these two lowly, evil men in front of you, how you fell into their trap so easily, and how the hell you were completely unable to use any power or energy in this moment. 

Faebane.

How could you be so foolish? You should’ve known better than to drink the wine so freely at a table of men you barely knew, especially after infiltrating Cormac and Balvard’s minds and discovering they wanted to use the same fucking poison on Devlon.

“Stupid female.” Balvard spat at you as Cormac inched closer to you, hand reaching out for your ankle. “You really thought you could come here, infiltrate our fucking minds to find out our plans, and just get away with it?”

You couldn’t speak, it was like someone was pressing down on your throat as you tried to breathe, there had been some gloriella in your wine, too, you were sure of it. Your body was pulled from the bed and flipped over in one swift tug, you were thrown onto the floor in an instant.

Images of Cillian flashed through your mind as your helpless form was pushed onto the floor, images of his wicked grin that matched the ones both of the males in front of you were wearing currently. 

A silent tear slid down your cheek as Balvard spoke, but you couldn’t hear his words. He was still rambling on about how stupid of a female you were, and how you deserved nothing but pain after what you were planning to do to them, but you tried your hardest to drown them out. 

There was nothing you could do at this point, as Balvard held your legs down, as Cormac pinned your wings with one large hand while the other pulled a sizable knife from its sheath. There was nothing you could do but close your eyes and hope that it would be over soon. 

You had never felt this helpless before, not even when Cillian had pinned you down. At least then you were able to fight back, at least then you had a shred of dignity and pride left, at least then you hadn’t been so foolish as to let someone fucking poison you. 

You cursed yourself internally as you squeezed your eyes shut, pain rippling through your body at the first slash of the knife against your wing. The first cut was against the base of your right wing, a long slash that would take months to heal, if it ever did. 

A prayer to the Gods repeated itself in your mind as you felt the blood trickle from your wing and onto your back. Your heart ached as the silent tears flowed, wandering to the furthest corners of your mind as you tried to think of anything aside from the pain that was being inflicted upon you. It took everything in you to realize that you had a sliver of power still running through your veins, just enough to call out to your daemati brother, Rhys.

As you shot a quick thought down the bridge of Rhysand’s mind, you were met with a welcoming talon of power. You could feel his concern as you pushed one-worded thoughts to him to get his attention.

Everything alright, sister? He questioned through your mind, urging you to let him see what you’d experienced in the last twelve hours with a kind caress of his power in your mind. 

You only had enough power to cry out silently to him, Send help, please. Your mind was closed to him as quickly as it had opened, everything went dark on your end as your energy ran out and you were blinded with even more pain, throwing you quickly into unconsciousness. 

The next thing you remembered was waking up to the sound of wailing and begging from behind you, the two men who had you pinned down minutes before were thrown against the wall as their High Lord took pleasure in tearing them to shreds in a slow and painful death. The cries came to a sudden halt moments later, Rhys growing tired of their begging as he decided to shatter their minds and put you out of your misery as quickly as possible. 

“R–Rhys–” you sob once their cries stopped, unable to do anything aside from lift a weak finger to point towards the man in the doorframe. 

The High Lord’s gaze turns from one of pure rage to one of a worried friend once his violet eyes flick toward where you lay in the middle of the cabin. He takes in the sight in front of him slowly, your pained expression and tear-stained cheeks There’s blood pooled around your midsection, drenching your sleep shirt as you pant in pain on the dusty wooden floor. One of your wings looks fractured in multiple spots, while the other one is mangled from the beginnings of a mutilation.

The sight made Rhysand shudder with anger, fists tight at his sides as he slipped into your mind in order to understand the extent of the situation you found yourself in. You let him in without resistance, unable to hold any kind of mental shield up anymore. 

They were going to clip your wings, take away the one thing you had to remind you of your mother, take away the one thing you held so dearly, take away your ability to fly. They were going to make you into the ideal complicit Illyrian female before wiping your memory of the entire night, which he assumed from the extremely prohibited memory tonic rolling on the floor next to you. 

Rhys was glad he’d shattered the two traitors inside and out once your memories were collected, realizing how ruthless they had been with you moments before he stormed in. 

“D–Don’t tell Cassian.” you plead, eyes focused on Rhys as he took another step into the cabin. 

Your pleas took Rhys back to that fateful night all those years ago, the night he found you in this same room, sobbing in the middle of the room after being defiled by another Illyrian male who he nearly ripped to ribbons in the same exact spot where Cormac and Balvard laid in the corner, the male who fled from Windhaven the next morning, likely from threats from Rhysand himself.  

Four hundred and fifty years ago was when he vowed to protect you like his own sister. You had begged him that night not to tell Cassian about what he’d seen, the vulnerable state the situation had left you in. The two of you had even made a bargain that night, that he would never be able to reveal the truth about what happened, so long as you remained loyal to him and his family, which he knew you would do regardless.

Four hundred and fifty years ago he promised to be the one to look out for you and make sure you were protected in situations you knew your brother’s unadulterated rage couldn’t handle.

And now, four hundred and fifty years after that fateful day, he’d failed you. 

Rhys gave you a sympathetic look, opening his mouth to speak in response to your request, but was interrupted by your brother pushing through the doorway past him. Cassian nearly tripped over his own two feet at the sight of you, stomach churning when he saw your mangled wings slumped on the wood over your limp body. 

“Don’t look, Cass.” you beg your brother as he stares at you with wide eyes, knowing the sight will spin him into a fit of rage. In your dazed state, you could see him beginning to seethe at the possibilities of what could’ve happened to you, his breaths quickening at the thought. 

Before Cassian can reply, Rhys slips into his mind. She needs her brother right now, not the Lord of Bloodshed ready to avenge her. Let’s get her back to the house before you make any rash decisions, we can come back and rip whoever else deserves it to shreds once she’s safe. 

Cassian chokes on a breath as Rhysand tries to reassure him that you’ll be alright. It takes everything in him to compose himself, but he does it for you, his twin, his fiery sister who he’d take an ash arrow to the heart for. 

“I can’t—can’t feel—“ you choke out, squirming and groaning in pain as Cassian picks you up from the floor. “My w—wings. I can’t feel them. Did they—they take them away?”

Your pained words strike Cassian like a dagger to the heart, tears welling up as he thinks about how much pain you had to be in. 

“No, I promise. They didn’t take them away. They’re–they’re still there, Y/N. It—It’ll be okay,” your brother says in a stern tone as he chokes back his own tears, eyes wide as he watches you struggle in his arms while walking through the cabin’s front door. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

It sounded almost like he was trying to convince himself that it would all be okay as he shot into the sky with you curled up in his arms. 

You were in and out of consciousness the entirety of the flight back to the House of Wind, babbling nonsense as Cassian tried to keep you stable in his arms. 

The entire Inner Circle was already at the house when Cassian landed, an air of worry carrying through the group as they saw the state of you, more specifically the state of your wings. 

Rhysand immediately called for Madja upon seeing the extent of your injuries, and ordered Cassian to take you to your room and to keep you awake until she arrived. 

Cassian was up the stairs in a flash, Feyre and Mor on his heels as he rushed to your room, with Azriel quietly following behind them. He laid you on your side, your bloodied wings spread across the bed as you curled up near the edge of the large bed. Your eyes landed on Feyre as he stepped away, a dazed smile spreading across your lips as you reached out a hand for her. 

The High Lady gives you a small smile in return, but it doesn’t reach her eyes, which were filled with worry. She grabs your hand, squeezing it gently as she begins to tell you something that you really can’t comprehend over the ringing in your ears.

After a while of her speaking to you and you babbling nonsense in return, you try to sit up abruptly. Both Cassian and Feyre are on you in an instant, pushing you gently back onto your side, quickly telling you that you need to lay down and stay there. 

“What is it?” Feyre asks quickly, gripping your hand as you easily give up and fall onto the bed, “Is something wrong, do you need something?”

“Az…” you whimper, fighting the urge to fall asleep right then and there, “W—Where’s Azriel?”

The shadowsinger had been outside the door keeping watch, but his shadows had been listening in on the conversation within as well. The shadows curled around his ear, whispering your name to him, telling him that you requested him, so he silently strode in when he heard. Your tired eyes lit up at the sight of him in the doorway, hand slipping from Feyre’s to weakly beckon him over to you. 

Something about seeing you in this state tugged on his heart, tugged on it so much it felt like it was going to rip from his chest. He couldn’t deny your request for him to come closer, not when you looked so desperate and in so much pain, not when his absence in Windhaven was part of the reason you were in this situation in the first place. 

He made a mental note to ask Rhys who did this to you as he made his way over to the chair Feyre left for him to sit in, wanting nothing more than to show them what Truth Teller could do. 

Azriel’s hand fell next to you on the bed and you immediately rested your own atop his, grinning widely as what felt like delusion set into your bones. Shadows twined around your fingers while the others skittered across your wings as if to soothe them.

“They may—may not be able to save my wings, Az.” you choked out, a bitter giggle coming out as you spoke.

“I’m sure Madja will be able to heal you right up, Y/N. You’ll be better in no time.” Azriel assured you, but he wasn’t sure that was entirely true. “She’ll be here any minute.”

“I—I don’t even care. I just—just need my mate.” you say abruptly while shaking your head, voice barely above a whisper now as you stare at the male, glassy eyes meeting his sharp yet confused gaze.

“Mate?” he replies with a furrowed brow, lips drawing into a frown at your words. He was wondering if you even knew what you were saying at this point, if you were just saying whatever came to your disoriented mind.

“Mate.” you say a little louder this time and the whole room is silent as you reach out for Azriel, your shaky and blood-crusted hand coming up to stroke his cheek. “My mate.”

Your eyes fluttered close with those words, a smile on your lips as you’re overtaken by sleep in the moment. Your hand falls from Azriel’s cheek and onto his lap, and that’s when he feels it. That’s when he feels the shadows of his mind clearing, bringing that band of golden thread to the forefront. A band of golden thread that was tying his soul to yours. 

Before Azriel could process the situation unfolding in front of him, Cassian was pulling him from the chair so Feyre could tend to you once more. The High Lady tried to wake you, but nothing worked. Thankfully, Rhysand and Madja rushed into the room mere minutes after you became unconscious, immediately going to work on getting you back to consciousness and ready to be healed.

Cassian tugged at Azriel’s shoulders as the whirlwind began, trying to drag him into the hallway. The shadowsinger resisted, standing behind Feyre as he watched you closely. You awoke immediately when Madja began to tend to your bloodied wings, the sensitive membrane torn to shreds. A cry escaped your lips as she gently worked on them, as Feyre tried her best to keep you in one spot while Madja worked her magic. 

Azriel watched with wide eyes, rage rippling through his body as he watched you writhe in pain. He wanted nothing more than to take away your pain, to make sure nobody ever hurt you again, to keep you safe with him forever. 

Your brother continued to try to move Azriel from the room, knowing it wouldn’t end well if he continued to watch you writhe in pain as Madja made quick work of healing you. He continued to resist, shoving Cassian multiple times before Rhysand breached his mind, stopping him in his tracks.

I’ll make sure she’s okay. He spoke to Azriel in his mind, staring him down as he squeezed your hand, beginning to take away your pain. She’s safe with me and I’ll take away whatever pain I can, but we need you to leave before you do anything stupid. The bond is too new and who knows what you’ll do if you continue to see her like this.  

Azriel straightened against Cassian’s grip, nodding at Rhys as he silently assured him that you would be okay. Eventually, he let your brother guide him into the hallway, noting the glamour Rhysand had added to the bedroom to drown out your cries as Cassian closed the door. 

It isn’t until he steps into the hallway that he’s finally able to fully comprehend what just happened. That’s when guilt and fear and pain wash over his body, stinging his chest all at once, right down the bond. 

“This–It’s my fault.” he says, falling back against the wall opposite to your bedroom in the hall, his legs unable to hold him up anymore. “I–I could’ve fucking stopped this, I should’ve been there, I should’ve known that this would happen–”

“Woah, Az.” Cassian interjects, reaching for Azriel’s shoulders once again. “You and I both know how stubborn she is. She would’ve refused to go if you were going, and you know it. She thought she had to prove herself to Rhys, just like she always does.” 

“I should’ve just–Fuck!” Azriel yelled, shoving his hands into his hair to tug on it roughly out of frustration, “I should’ve fucking sent my shadows, I could’ve seen their plan, I–”

“Azriel.” Cassian interrupted once again, grabbing the shadowsinger to get his attention. “Would you shut up for one second? She would’ve torn those shadows–and you–to shreds if you did that. She’s still under the impression that you fucking hate her, Az.”

Azriel let out a shuddering breath at the thought, a whirlwind of emotions taking over. His mind was racing as he thought of you in the next room, how his shadows couldn’t even infiltrate Rhysand’s glamour to see if you were alright. None of it made sense, you deserved more than him, you should be with someone who actually could keep you safe.

“How long have you known?” Azriel pressed, stern gaze on Cassian as he finally let go of his shoulders.

“Az–”

“How. Fucking. Long.” he insisted, blue siphons flaring with power at his wrists as he reached for your brother. 

Cassian sighs, shoulders sagging in defeat as he looks to the helpless man in front of him. “Two–Two years.” he’s quiet as he speaks, voice wavering in fear of what anger the fresh mating bond could bring out of his brother. 

“You’ve known for two fucking years?” Azriel seethes, gripping Cassian’s leathers tighter as he growls, “how fucking dare you–”

“I couldn’t tell you and you know it, Az.” Cassian says, releasing himself from Azriel’s grip. 

“You’re my brother–”

“And she’s my twin, my real fucking blood sister. I couldn’t betray her like that.” he interjected, shaking his head at the shadowsinger. “She would’ve torn me to shreds, then came for you next. You should know that nobody should interfere with a mating bond, you had to find out from her.”

Azriel took a deep and shaky breath at his words, knowing that Cassian was right in every sense of the word to not tell him for all this time. Eventually he nods at Cassian, deciding that words probably aren’t his strong suit at this moment, he didn’t want to say or do anything he’d regret later. 

“C’mon, we should go somewhere else to get your mind–”

“No.” Azriel snarled, shaking his head firmly as his shadows swirled at his shoulders, siphons flaring with that ultramarine power once again. “I need to stay here, to see that she’s safe.” 

There was something damn near animalistic in Azriel’s eyes as Cassian gazed at him. In that moment, he knew there would be no getting through to the shadowsinger, not when his mate was on the brink of death on the other side of the door. 

Cassian nodded slowly at him, watching carefully as Azriel finally let go of his shoulders. The shadowsinger’s own shoulders sagged and he leaned to rest on the wall behind him, while trying to calm himself. He needed to be in that room, needed to see you, needed to hold you, but he knew there was no use in trying. Not even his shadows could slip under the door to check on you, Rhysand had glamoured the whole room to high hell in order to keep him out and to keep your healing as uninterrupted as possible. 

He knew it would take hours, maybe even days before that door opened again, but he didn’t care. He’d stay right there waiting for that lock to click and that glamour to fall just so he could see you again. 

And so wait he did. 

He waited one hour, which turned into two, which turned into four, which turned into eight. 

The wait was so long that Cassian eventually pulled two chairs out of his bedroom so they could sit, and the House nearly forced them to eat some stew that was placed upon the empty chair Azriel refused to occupy. 

He only paced, mind racing with thoughts of you, of how he couldn’t feel you any time he tried to tug on the bond. He wasn’t sure how the mating bond worked, how much a glamour could mask it or how your unconsciousness would affect it. Every time he tugged on that golden strand in his chest, he felt nothing on the other end, just resistance that he could only assume was from the inability to fully reach you.

Each unsuccessful tug only drove him closer to insanity, closer to clawing down the door between the two of you to see if Rhysand was truly the reason he wasn’t able to reach you or not. 

Just as Azriel was on the verge of another outrage, after waiting for nearly ten godsdamned hours, your bedroom door’s lock clicked. Both Cassian and Azriel’s attention whirled to the door, only to see Feyre standing at the door frame. The door was barely cracked, just enough to see her face, hiding the commotion behind her, hiding the sight of you behind her. 

The moment the door opened, a wave of nausea flowed through Azriel’s stomach, the smell of you, the smell of your blood reaching his nose immediately. 

The High Lady held out a hand as Azriel took a step towards the door, ready to push her over to finally see his mate. 

“She’s waking up now,” Feyre interjects, giving the shadowsinger a stern look that tells him to behave, “she might be really confused right now, she’s been in and out of consciousness for a while so who knows what she really remembers. Be gentle with her, she may not remember what she said before you left.”

Azriel stands up straighter at the High Lady’s words, nodding sternly at her command as Cassian stands at his side finally. Both take a moment to compose themselves while she pulls the door open, revealing the room behind her at last. 

The room is in much less of a disarray than they’d expected, likely thanks to a simple snap of Rhysand’s fingers. The only blood to be seen in the room is on your wings, which is currently being wiped away by Madja as you stir slowly. 

It takes everything in Azriel not to run up to your side right then, to push Mor from the chair next to you, to take your head into his hands and kiss you and never let you go. But he holds back, waiting for you to finally wake from your sleep. 

Your eyes flutter open a few moments later, a wave of confusion washing over you as you do. The last thing you really remember is being picked up by Cassian, off the floor of that Gods forsaken cabin. You really don’t remember how or when you made it back to the House of Wind, or what actually happened to you. At this point, judging by the shooting pain in your back, you weren’t sure if you wanted to remember what happened to you. 

Your brother’s name was the first thing to fall from your lips, your weak hand reaching out for him with a watery smile. Tears filled your eyes as he took a step toward you.

“You’re a stubborn little shit, you know that?” Cassian said with a bittersweet smile, eyes flickering between your bruised face and your tattered wings. 

“Gotta keep you on your toes all the time,” you rasp out, a small laugh from you finally filling the tense air. 

Cassian sat next to you, talking to you lowly as he tried to keep things light, tried to keep your spirits up after he caught a glance of how mangled your wings were, how ruined they might be. 

You barely noticed the shadowsinger standing behind him until a shadow skittered across your stomach, trailing to your bandaged wings to survey the damage. It wasn’t until then that you stopped to look at him, to see how stoic he looked while staring at you. His face paled, his jaw clenched as he stood silently at the foot of the bed.

“Are you here to mock me, shadowsinger?” your voice interrupted his thoughts, finally making him look up to meet your eyes.

Azriel’s brow furrowed at your words and Cassian tensed at your side. He only shook his head, an apologetic look crossing his face as he opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off by you. 

“If you’re here to tell me how I should’ve just sucked it up and gone with you, how I’m only a weak female and I can’t handle missions like this, I don’t want to hear it.”

Oh. Oh, no. 

Realization struck Azriel in an instant, you didn’t remember anything about what you’d said to him. He tried to tug on the bond, a sympathetic look in his eyes as his heart lurched for you, but felt nothing. 

The pain tonics, they mess with the bond. She cannot feel you, brother, Rhysand said to him wordlessly, watching quietly from the other side of the room, she does not know that you’re reaching out to her, she doesn’t know that you know.

Azriel felt like he was going to vomit, he couldn’t handle it anymore. He couldn’t go another minute without you knowing that he knew. But he knew better, he knew better than to throw this on you while healing from something so severe. So he looked at you once more with a calm and stoic expression, into your fiery eyes, knowing you were putting on a show of hatred just for him. 

“I wasn’t going to mock you, Y/N.” Azriel said matter-of-factly, shaking his head at the thought, “I was only going to tell you that I hope you feel better soon, and that I am sorry, for everything.”

Your stern gaze wavers for a moment, confusion crossing your once stern face at his last words. Before you could retort, he was rushing out the door, leaving one shadow behind to keep watch over you.

He thought you needed space, that you needed this time away from him to heal fully before he threw his heart at you, before he confessed how in love he’d been with you for so damn long. 

So he left. Left the House of Wind immediately, deciding that you were better off without him for now. 

But he missed the tear that slipped from your eye once he fled the room. He missed the way you were tugging against the bond as well, the golden strand too clouded by the tonics and poisons running through your veins to reach either side.

He missed the way you let out a small sob at his absence, fully recoiling into yourself as you thought that the only male you wanted couldn’t stand to be with you for more than two seconds. 

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[scarlethexelove]

Please Don't Leave Me

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 4281

Warnings: Angst, Pregnant!Reader, Natasha being an ass, injuries, Depression, Wanda being the bestest of friends.

Part 2: Gone

A/n: Had this one in my head for some time and finally decided to write it. As it always seems these fics just seem to run wild and get longer than I mean them to be. I can tell you all right now I'm pretty sure your not going to like the ending very much 😅

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

“Natty.” You try to get your wife's attention as she moves around the room quickly. Natasha is shoving things in a bag. “Nat.” You try again, but she doesn’t stop. Frantically moving around the room grabbing whatever she can. “Natasha!” You finally yell at her. She still doesn’t stop her movements. “Y/n I can’t right now.” She says shoving the last of her things in her bag. “Nat I have something important to tell you.” You try to reason with the woman, but she just zips her bag throwing it over her shoulder and walks past you. “There are things you don’t understand. I have to go.” You grab her arm and she finally looks back at you. “I really need to tell you this.” You try to reason with her. Your eyes pleading with her just to let you talk. But she shakes her head and pulls her arm from your grasp. “There are more important things than you right now.” She makes it to the door letting it creak open. “We will talk when I get home.” She doesn’t face you, only slightly turning her head before she is gone. “Don’t expect me to be here when you get back.” You see her hesitate in the door but she shakes her head before slamming the door shut behind her. 

Your heart shatters in your chest as your legs buckle beneath you. A muffled thud is heard as your knees hit the ground. Your hand covers your mouth as a sob escapes the depths of your chest. You pull the small stick from your back pocket looking down at the two pink lines. “I’m pregnant.” You whisper to yourself like somehow Nat will hear you and come back, but you know she won’t. To Natasha her job has always been more important than anything. She loves being an Avenger and helping people, but it always comes at a cost to you. You had a sliver of hope that maybe just maybe this could change that. After what she had gone through in the red room she was pretty sure that she couldn’t get you pregnant but here you are. The prospects of having a child had given you hope that maybe she would come back to you. Be the loving wife that you know she can be. The little pink lines now taunting you as tears splash down on the plastic blurring your vision and the once prominent lines. 

It seems like hours before you finally pick yourself up off the ground. Finally having cried all the tears away. Pulling yourself off the ground as you wipe your cheeks before making your way to your shared bedroom. It is empty, too empty. The book Nat was reading was still sitting face down open to the page that she had left it on. Moon light shining through the curtains illuminating the dark room. You don’t bother turning on the lights or changing clothes as you crawl into the cold bed. Seeming much larger now than ever before. You curl in on yourself, exhaustion from all the tears you have cried catching up to you. A pain in your chest as you finally drift off into nothingness. 

Over the next few days multiple new stations report of the Avengers fighting one another. The chaos and destruction of a German airport. You place a hand over your lower stomach as the news flashes. ‘Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow has broken the Sokovia Accords. Now wanted for treason against the federal government.’ If you thought your heart couldn’t break more you were wrong. 

It has been nearly four months since that fateful day. The day your world shattered around you. You had hoped that one day maybe Nat would try and contact you but those hopes had been dashed over a month ago. She had moved on and so should you. You slowly pack your things in the home that you once shared with your wife. You’re not even sure if you should call her that anymore. A single tear running down your cheek at the thought. You still love her deeply but you can’t live like this. You have a baby to think about now, you need to live for them. Placing your hand on your growing stomach as you gently rub your finger up and down feeling their movement and smiling. 

A phone ringing breaks you from the tender moment. You grab your phone looking down to see an unknown number calling you. Your heart stops a moment wondering if after all this time it is finally Nat calling you. You're so distracted by the tight feeling in your chest that the phone stops ringing and the call ends. You still stare blankly at the screen before it starts to ring again. Phone lighting up in your hand once again still showing unknown as the caller. 

This time you press the answer button. Your movements are slow as you bring it up to your ear. You open your mouth but no words come out, your breaths coming out erratic as you begin to panic. Your ear is soon filled with a soft voice. “Y/n/n?” That voice is distinct but not your wifes. “Y/n are you there?” The voice asks again. “W-Wanda?” Your voice trembles as your mind catches up. Your best friend is on the other side of the line. 

This is the first time you have heard from any of the Avengers for a long time. Tony once stopped by but you refuse to let him in. You didn’t listen to any of the words coming out of his mouth as he spoke through the door. If it wasn’t for him you don’t think you would be in this position right now and maybe your hopes for a better future with Nat would have come true. Wanda had sent a few letters letting you know she was ok. You couldn’t obviously send anything back due to now knowing where she was and the nature of the events and why she was also on the run. 

“Y/n/n?” Wanda’s voice breaks through your mind once again. “I-I’m sorry Wands. What were you saying?” Her words had been muffled by your mind. She shakes her head like you could possibly see her doing that. “Nothing sweetheart. Are you ok?” She can tell that something isn’t right. “Not really. I, I’m alone.” Wanda’s heart breaks for you. She may be on the run but she hasn’t been alone. “I’m tired, Wands.” You know you shouldn’t be thinking that with a child on the way but it has been hard. Tears start to fall down your cheeks as you sniffle into the phone. 

Wanda made a decision right there. “Sweetheart, I'm going to send Vision to come and get you.” She knows it could be dangerous to have you with her but she also knows that you’re not a wanted fugitive so if for some reason that she is caught you will be left alone. But she will do everything in her power to keep you safe. She can’t stand to hear you this hurt and down. “W-what if that gives away where you are?” You question not wanting to bring her into any danger. “I’m safe here. If you want to, you can come here. We have to move every so often. You don’t have to if you don’t want to but I’m not going to leave you alone. You always have me.” You cry tears of happiness for the first time in a long time. “Yes.” Your voice is small but hopeful. 

You land with Vision somewhere in what you believe to be Belgium. Vision never mentioned anything to you about your pregnancy which you are thankful for. You see Wanda bound out of the small quaint house on the outskirts of the town. You watch as she stops in her tracks a few feet away from you. Your head dropping, not wanting to see her reaction. Scared that she wouldn’t want you around any more. 

“Y/n/n.” Wanda says quietly trying to get you to raise your gaze to hers but you don’t look up. Tears well in your eyes, scared to move, scared to look your best friend in the eye. Hands cup your face gently making you look up into green eyes. A soft smile on her face. “You're pregnant.” It’s not a question but a statement from the woman. You nod your head as she pulls you into her arms hugging you as tightly as she can without hurting you or the baby. 

Just then the flood gates break. A sob leaves you as tears cascade down your cheeks into Wanda’s shirt. You bury your head in her neck. A hand rubbing gently up and down your back as you're held for the first time in months. Your legs give out as you clutch to Wanda for dear life afraid that you're going to wake up and she will be gone. Wanda holds on gently guiding you both to the ground as she lets you cry. Your tears soak her shirt as you sob for what feels like forever. Wanda whispers reassurances in your ear as she just holds you. Her gentle motions on your back, not ceasing. 

Wanda lets you get out your pent up emotions. Sitting with you until your sobs turn into sniffles. “She left me. I never got to tell her.” You whisper, still gripping onto Wanda. “What sweetheart?” She asks, trying to get you to elaborate. “Natasha. I-I haven’t heard from her. She, she left that day to Germany. I tried to tell her. She, she told me that there were more important things than myself.” Wanda’s eyes swirl red with anger. How could Natasha do this to you? All she wants to do is fly off and break Natasha like she broke you. But Wanda comes back to reality when you grip her tighter, scared she will leave you just like Nat did. 

“Please don’t leave me.” If it was even possible Wanda’s heart broke for you more. Like herself you don’t have any family. All of yours were gone long ago, but you had found a family in the Avengers, a wife. But that family is now broken but Wanda is determined to show you that she is still your family. “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart. I will always be here for you.” She kisses your head smiling. “And for the baby.” More tears come to your eyes but from happiness. 

“So you and Vision?” You give a watery chuckle. Wanda nudges your shoulder and laughs. “Yeah.” She smiles happily when you pull back to look at her. “So like does he come with a vibrator setting?” You ask half joking half serious. “Oh my god Y/n!” Wanda exclaims, shocked by your bold question. You two laugh as she helps you off the ground leading you into the house. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to mention something to Nat?” Wanda asks you softly, causing you to look up from the book your head is buried in. You let out a sigh as this constant conversation. “If she wanted to know how I was doing she could have called me the same way you did.” You rub your swollen stomach. So close to meeting your precious little one. “Wands I know you are looking out for me and I also know how pissed you are at her. I also know that you partly want to tell her to rub it in her face on how royally she screwed up. She has had almost 9 months to find me. And I know that you said she has mentioned that she has done it for my own safety but at least hearing from her once would have been something. Instead she went no contact. The famous Black Widow knows how to send encrypted messages if she really wanted to.” 

Wanda knows how much you are right and every time she has to touch base with the team she has been distant and cold with Nat. She so badly wants to break her heart the way she has to you. She knows how much you still love Nat and would love to be a family. These times are hard though with everyone on the run so she bites her tongue and nods her head to your words. 

To get your mind off of things you put your book down and swing your feet off the bed. “Hey Wands, it's a nice night, maybe we can all take a walk.” Vision appears in the doorway. “That sounds like a lovely idea Y/n.” You smile at the synthezoid before giving a questioning look to Wanda. “Sure.” She nods her head. “But someone is going to have to help me with my shoes.” You chuckle trying to reach down to your feet which you can’t reach. The other two laugh before all of you put on some clothes and help you with yours. 

Wanda and Vision are holding hands as you walk through the streets of Edinburgh, the quiet street clearing your mind as you three walk peacefully. Vision stops Wanda to talk a bit as you waddle over to a window with a news cast playing. You watch on as a breaking news cast flashes on the screen. As the scene plays out in front of you you gasp. “Wanda.” You call for her. The conversation dies between the two as they come up behind you seeing as the screen plays footage of New York being attacked. You all stand there silently as death and destruction is shown on the screen. Tony Stark missing flashes on the screen and Vision looks to Wanda. 

“I have to go.” Vision says kissing Wanda’s hand that is still laced with his. He starts to walk away dropping her hand, Wanda pleads with him to stay. You start to drown them out as you watch the screen. Terrified that you may see something about Natasha come across it. Screams of pain makes you turn around seeing Vision impaled on a staff. “Vision!” Wanda screams, her hands glowing red ready to fight. 

Someone else blasts Wanda from behind sending her flying into a building across the street. With you close proximity you're thrown back hard. Trying to brace yourself you hear a sickening crack as your wrist impacts with the ground. You scream out in pain. “Y/n!” Vision yells when he hears your cry of pain. You turn on the ground seeing him do the same. The two who attacked turned him over on his back and the thing that stabbed him placed the sharp end of the staff on his head.

Vision’s screams can be heard through the quiet streets. You struggle trying to get yourself up knowing your wrist is broken, cradling it close to your chest. You watch as red balls of energy slam into the two creatures throwing them back. Wanda runs towards Vision using her magic and pulling you safely over to him. Pain is written all over her face as she looks over the both of you. She uses her magic to lift all of you off the ground pulling you closer to her as she tries to fly you all away from the area. You all are almost hit by a beam causing Wanda to have to bring you all down. Wanda lands you both down gently laying you on the ground before turning to catch Vision with her magic. 

“The blade, it stopped me from phasing.” Vision says as you see a bright yellow line in his body and he seems to be glitching. “Is that even possible?” Wanda asks, helping him sit up against the wall. “It’s not supposed to be.” He says, you can tell he is in pain. Your adrenaline is pumping so your wrist is just a dull ache at the moment. Wanda hovers her hand over Vision, her magic flowing and pulling the opening closed slowly but not completely. “I’m beginning to think we should have stayed inside.” You mumble feeling guilty that this could have been avoided if not for you avoiding your feelings about Nat. 

You and Wanda are pushed back by Vision as one of the creatures grabs Vision flying off and fighting against a building. The other comes and attacks you and Wanda. Wanda puts a barrier of magic around you. She starts to fight the female creature as your heart races in your chest. 

You lose sight of the both of them fighting. Wanda’s magic dissipates from around you allowing you to move forward looking for your friends. You can hear it now so clearly in your head like she actually is yelling at you. Natasha’s voice tells you to run and protect yourself, but Wanda is your best friend and she has been there for you. So you push that voice away following the commotion. You run into the train station seeing Vision propped against a railing. Wanda stands red surrounding her hands as the two creatures look ready to fight once again. 

Squealing of wheels from the train moving past has you all looking. A dark figure in the shadows looms behind the moving train. The female creature throws her trident-like spear at the figure when the train passes. The figure catching it perfectly as he walks into the light you see Steve Rogers. You try to get up behind the female creature but she quickly turns wrapping her hand around your throat. 

“Y/n!” Wanda screams. The female creature throws you back and you land on your back crying out in pain. You feel a gush of liquid between your legs after you hit the ground. Wings fly in front of you as Sam Wilson collides with the creature. You let your hand drift down feeling the wetness and bring your fingers back up into view, relieved that it isn’t blood, but your heart drops when you realize what is happening. You gasp in pain from the sharp feeling in your stomach. 

Wanda uses her magic again to pull you towards her and Vision. Wanda pulls you into her lap. That is when you spot her in the distance. The hair color may be different but she is still herself. Natasha fights with Steve against the creatures. You have tears in your eyes as you look up at Wanda. “Wands, I think my water just broke.” You groan in pain again. You can see the panic in her eyes as she looks around the area. It’s not long before the fighting is done and the other three walk over towards you three. 

Natasha stops dead in her tracks when she sees you. Your swollen stomach has her chest rising and falling a bit fast. She thinks maybe it could be someone else's but she knows deep down that the baby is hers. She wants to cry but she turns stone cold hiding her emotions. Hating herself for leaving you, for never reaching out in all this time. You cry out in pain causing her to look back to you. You're curled in on yourself in Wanda’s lap. “It hurts.” You whimper.  Wanda holds you closer to her. “I know sweetheart.” Wanda looks to the other three. “We need to get them out of here.” She can see the two men side eyeing her before Steve speaks up. “Quickly, get them to the Quinjet.” 

Natasha moves to help you but you pull away. “I have her, can you help Vision?” Wanda says flatly, Nat can only nod moving away and helping Vision up. Wanda effortlessly lifts you in her arms and you all make your way to the Quinjet. Your contractions are getting strong and closer together. Natasha can only watch from afar as you whimper in pain. Wanda helps you and Vision sits close holding his side. 

“We need to get her to a hospital.” Wanda says brushing the hair sticking to your forehead out of the way. “We will be at the compound in 30 minutes.” Steve explains. “Steve, I don't know if she can last that long.” She iterates looking back down at your pained face. “It’s the best I can do Wanda.” She sighs gently stroking your cheek. “It’s ok Wands. I’ll be o-” Your cut off by another contraction. All Nat can do is look on with regret. 

Once the quinjet finally lands Wanda lifts you in her arms again and runs into the compound they enter and see Rhodey talking to a hologram of Secretary Ross. “We need medical.” Natasha says out, causing Rhodey to turn and for Secretary Ross to start arguing. You can’t concentrate on what they are saying but you know it isn’t great. Rhodey ends the call and signals for medical, who come in with Bruce. 

As they wheel you away the team follows. Before Wanda can head in after you Nat grabs her arm. Wanda whips her head around anger evident on her face. “Please just tell me. Is it mine?” Wanda gives an amused chuckle. “Of course it’s yours.” She pulls her arm from Nat’s grasp and follows you in the room. Nat lets tears slip down her face. She left you alone pregnant with her child. Not once contacting you in the last nine months. She had told herself she was doing it to protect you and to keep you out of this life, but she was wrong and she sees that now. She understands now why Wanda became so cold towards her after a few months. She has to fix this. She has to be able to win you back and to become the family she always wanted and she will do anything to get that back. 

Natasha can hear your cries of pain as you go through labor wishing more than anything she could be there with you but you don’t want her to be. But you chose Wanda and she understands why. She soon hears other cries. The crying of her child as they are born. Tears slip down her cheeks as she hears them. The boys know not to go around her or to talk to her at this moment. She is breaking on the inside and all she has to blame is herself. 

An hour later Wanda walks out and comes over to Nat. Her head is down, not looking at the younger woman waiting for a scolding, but that doesn’t come. “You can go meet your son.” Wanda speaks with no emotion to her voice. Natasha looks up and Wanda can see she has been crying but that doesn’t change how angry Wanda is at her. “I have a son?” Nat whispers. Wanda just nods her head and moves out of the way. 

Natasha slips into the room quietly. Her heart stops seeing you laying in the bed with a blue bundle in your arms and a smile on your face. More tears spill as she quietly makes her way over to you. You don’t look at her until she is standing right next to you. “He’s beautiful.” Nat mumbles trying to stop the sob that so desperately wants to escape. You have a soft look on your face and she can’t read it. “Meet Alexander Pietro Romanoff.” You smile down at your son. Natasha lets the tears freely fall. “Romanoff?” She questions you. “Romanoff.” You repeat looking back up at her with a soft smile. She feels a flicker of hope that she can fix this, that she can have her family.

“Do you want to hold him?” You ask her softly and lightly lift him the best you can with your broken wrist. Nat nods and takes him from you holding him in her arms. She has so much love for him already that more tears well in her eyes. You watch her as she holds the baby and cries. 

“I’m sorry.” Nat whispers. “I'm so sorry.” She looks at you with teary eyes. “I know.” Is all you can respond with. She looks back down at the now sleeping boy. Just looking at him and remembering all of his features. She had seen the flicker of green in his eyes, the same as hers. But he looks so much like you. He is just as beautiful as you are. 

Loud beeping makes Nat’s head snap up. Your face is now pale and your eyes are closed. The sheets are staining red between your legs. Doctors rush in as she backs away holding her son close to her chest. He starts to cry with all the noise and commotion. Her heart rate picks up and she starts to panic. The voices of the doctors are muffled to her ears as she feels the blood rushing around. She can only focus on you, your face pale and your body limp in the bed as doctors work around you. They soon wheel you out of the room mentioning something about you hemorrhaging and needing to go to surgery. 

Nat starts sobbing in the empty room. All that is left is herself and her son. She slides down the wall begging to whatever is out there in the universe that you will be ok. That you will come back to her and your son. Promising that she will do better and be better. She will be the wife that she had promised in her vows. She will do anything for you to take her back, just please let you live. She whispers in the emptiness. “Please don’t leave me.”

[pnwnativeplants]

https://www.xerces.org/blog/want-to-save-bees-focus-on-habitat-not-honey-bees

Five reasons why honey bees can be a problem

Native plants need native bees. Native bees coevolved with our native plants and often have behavioral adaptations that make them better pollinators than honey bees. For example, buzz-pollination, in which a bee grasps a flower and shakes the pollen loose, is a behavior at which bumble bees and other large-bodied native bees excel, and one that honey bees lack.

Honey bees are sub-par pollinators. The way that honey bees interact with flowers means that they sometimes contribute little or nothing to pollination. Honey bees groom their pollen and carry it in neat pollen cakes, where it’s less likely to contact the stigma of another flower and pollinate it. They are also known “nectar robbers” of many plants, accessing their nectar in a way that means they don’t touch the pollen, often by biting a hole in the base of the flower. By contrast, many of our native bees tend to be messier, carrying pollen as dry grains, often all over their bodies where it’s more likely to pollinate the plant.

Hungry hives crowd out native pollinators. Introducing a single honey bee hive means 15,000 to 50,000 additional mouths to feed in an area that may already lack sufficient flowering resources. This increases competition with our native bees and raises the energy costs of foraging, which can be significant. One study calculated that over a period of three months, a single hive collects as much pollen as could support the development of 100,000 native solitary bees!

Honey bees can spread disease. Unfortunately, honey bees can spread diseases to our native bees—deformed wing virus, for example, can be passed from honey bees to bumble bees—and can also amplify and distribute diseases within a bee community. 

Urban honey bee hive densities are often too high. There is growing evidence of negative impacts in towns and cities from the presence of honey bees. A recent study from Montreal showed that the number of species of native bees found in an area decreased when the number of honey bees went up. In Britain, the London Beekeepers Association found that some parts of that city had four times as many hives as the city’s gardens and parks could support. The conservation organization Buglife recommends creating two hectares (five acres) of habitat for each hive, several times the size of an average residential lot in the United States.

[sanguineterrain]

I am FERAL over your knight Jason thought. FERAL!!! Okay check this out: so Jason's ignoring reader because he feels guilty right? Maybe he tried to give them back but the king wouldn't allow it. But maybe the reader misunderstands and thinks they're not doing their "duties" so they make dinner and breakfast and wash his clothes and basically act like a perfect spouse. How would Jason react? 👀

Dear god... I feel another series coming on...

Idkidk, their dynamic is just really interesting to me! it's probably gonna be a bit of a slow burn here. Feel free to send more thoughts about them. I am rotating these two like a rotisserie chicken in my brain.

knight!jason todd x gn!reader. ambiguous time period but just assume it's olden times *gestures vaguely*. tw arranged marriage/forced relationship but it's complicated! jason is full of angst and self-loathing but he's a sweetie as per usual. original post for context.

****

The soldier—Jason—has said four words since you've arrived.

The first was "here," which he said whilst handing you a mug of milk. He didn't look at you as he said it, and that morning, he left for a five-day long station. You only know that because he said, after handing you the milk, "I've been stationed."

You realized it was five days when you heard his horse galloping towards the house... five days later.

You haven't initiated conversation because though you're a commoner, and no one ever had much hope for you to become anything but an old spinster, you know not to challenge knights.

But this is fucking ridiculous.

"Do you like veal?" you ask on your fourteenth day here.

Jason is about to leave, his boots half laced. He freezes at your question and looks up.

You stand tall, chin up. This is a normal question. A question a wife would ask her husband, except you're not a wife, and you're pretty sure this soldier isn't a husband either.

"I like veal," he says carefully, slowly. "Would you like me to fetch some from the market?"

Now, this is where it gets tricky. When the king summoned you, he made it clear that you were expected to care for Jason under his rules. You don't know how to navigate this world. You know what couples in your village do, but you don't know what's expected of you here.

"Actually, I..." Jason looks at you. His eyes are very green. He has a surprisingly sweet face under his helmet. "Actually, I was wondering if I could go. On my own."

"Oh."

You brace yourself for arguing or yelling. True, he hasn't raised his voice once, but he also hasn't said much at all. It's like living with a ghost.

"Yes, of course. Of course you can go." He fishes out a pouch of coins and gives them to you. You take it slowly, waiting for him to realize his mistake. He doesn't.

"Thank you," you say.

He nods and watches you walk.

"Wait."

You stop. Here it comes.

"There's a cargo ship in port today. The guards rotate at noon."

He leaves before you can form a thought. You hold the coins, watching blankly as the door shuts behind him. His horse whinnies, and then he's gone.

The market isn't far from the cottage. It's fantastic to be outside again. No one's noticed your absence, clearly, but that's alright. You've never expected more.

You buy a good cut of veal and potatoes and carrots and apples. Jason gave you more money than any cut of meat would cost, so surely he assumed you would buy other food. Why else would he give you so much?

A ship's horn drones in the distance. You're feeling some oranges when you remember his words. A cargo ship.

The sun is almost at its highest point.

"Oi! Either buy 'em or stop feelin' 'em!" the seller snaps.

You roll your eyes and move on from the orange stand. You can see the horizon of where the sky meets the sea from here. Any moment, the guards will change, and the ship will be...

You stop. Was Jason hinting at your escape?

No, he couldn't have been! That's preposterous. Why would he want you gone? The king took you for a reason.

And where would you go anyway? Once you leave, you'd be a criminal forever. You couldn't make a home on your own. And who knows what could happen in between? Pirates, enemy soldiers, anybody could snatch you up.

This must've been a test. A test to see if you would run. That's why he agreed to you going so easily.

No, your escape can't be planned now. Not when you're so obviously uncomfortable, and Jason knows it.

You ignore the ship and go home with your purchases. You spend the rest of the afternoon preparing veal stew. You warm leftover bread over the fire and set a pot of butter on the table.

Jason comes in louder than he has before, humming quietly. You perk up at the sound, happy for the lack of silence.

You set a bowl of stew at his chair and wait by the fire. As soon as he enters the kitchen, the humming stops.

"Welcome home," you say, wringing your hands. "I made supper."

Jason glances at the table, then back at you.

"You came back," he says.

"Why wouldn't I?" you ask, face neutral as you cut the bread into chunks.

"That—did the ship come?"

"Yes."

Jason sits. His face is dirty from training.

"I bought more than veal," you say, and hand him the pouch. "I hope that's alright. We—there were no more potatoes."

He takes the pouch, rubbing the string tied around the top. "You went to the marketplace... and came back."

It's not a question, but it sounds like there might be one behind it.

"Certainly," you say. "I'm loyal to you, Jason. I serve you."

He looks up, blinking rapidly. Then he looks back at his stew.

Oh, right. He's waiting for you to ask permission to sit.

"May I join you?" you ask.

Jason flinches. "You don't... you don't have to ask. I would never stop you from eating."

The words hang in the air. It's like neither one of you can speak right.

You watch him, and he watches you as you serve yourself and sit on the opposite side of the table. Jason takes the first bite, and you eat right after.

"Is the supper satisfactory? Have I done well?" you ask.

Jason stops chewing and sets his spoon down. You're struck by his shift in demeanor. You worry for a moment you've screwed up something as dim-wittingly simple as stew.

His eyes are sad as they fall on you. It's akin to grief, the pain he wears, but you don't know why he's grieving. You silently offer him more bread, pushing it toward him. He takes it.

"Yes," he says quietly and eats another spoonful. "You did. Thank you for supper."

Jason cleans his bowl three times. You have no stew leftover, which pleases you.

But as soon as Jason finishes eating, he gets up, rinses his bowl, and wordlessly leaves.

You don't see him for the rest of the night.

Somehow, you feel lonelier than when you weren't speaking.

[machine-saint]

the op of that "you should restart your computer every few days" post blocked me so i'm going to perform the full hater move of writing my own post to explain why he's wrong

why should you listen to me: took operating system design and a "how to go from transistors to a pipelined CPU" class in college, i have several servers (one physical, four virtual) that i maintain, i use nixos which is the linux distribution for people who are even bigger fucking nerds about computers than the typical linux user. i also ran this past the other people i know that are similarly tech competent and they also agreed OP is wrong (haven't run this post by them but nothing i say here is controversial).

anyway the tl;dr here is:

you don't need to shut down or restart your computer unless something is wrong or you need to install updates

i think this misconception that restarting is necessary comes from the fact that restarting often fixes problems, and so people think that the problems are because of the not restarting. this is, generally, not true. in most cases there's some specific program (or part of the operating system) that's gotten into a bad state, and restarting that one program would fix it. but restarting is easier since you don't have to identify specifically what's gone wrong. the most common problem i can think of that wouldn't fall under this category is your graphics card drivers fucking up; that's not something you can easily reinitialize without restarting the entire OS.

this isn't saying that restarting is a bad step; if you don't want to bother trying to figure out the problem, it's not a bad first go. personally, if something goes wrong i like to try to solve it without a restart, but i also know way, way more about computers than most people.

as more evidence to point to this, i would point out that servers are typically not restarted unless there's a specific need. this is not because they run special operating systems or have special parts; people can and do run servers using commodity consumer hardware, and while linux is much more common in the server world, it doesn't have any special features to make it more capable of long operation. my server with the longest uptime is 9 months, and i'd have one with even more uptime than that if i hadn't fucked it up so bad two months ago i had to restore from a full disk backup. the laptop i'm typing this on has about a month of uptime (including time spent in sleep mode). i've had servers with uptimes measuring in years.

there's also a lot of people that think that the parts being at an elevated temperature just from running is harmful. this is also, in general, not true. i'd be worried about running it at 100% full blast CPU/GPU for months on end, but nobody reading this post is doing that.

the other reason i see a lot is energy use. the typical energy use of a computer not doing anything is like... 20-30 watts. this is about two or three lightbulbs worth. that's not nothing, but it's not a lot to be concerned over. in terms of monetary cost, that's maybe $10 on your power bill. if it's in sleep mode it's even less, and if it's in full-blown hibernation mode it's literally zero.

there are also people in the replies to that post giving reasons. all of them are false.

temporary files generally don't use enough disk space to be worth worrying about

programs that leak memory return it all to the OS when they're closed, so it's enough to just close the program itself. and the OS generally doesn't leak memory.

'clearing your RAM' is not a thing you need to do. neither is resetting your registry values.

your computer can absolutely use disk space from deleted files without a restart. i've taken a server that was almost completely full, deleted a bunch of unnecessary files, and it continued fine without a restart.

[anadiasmount]

christmas morning with you - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: the anticipated time of year arrives. after sharing a night full of laughters, joy and some nerves, dad! jude surprises his babies as santa on christmas morning. insta au at the end! 🤍🎄

wc: 2.6k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist

psa🗣️: i refuse to believe christmas is legit two days away cause what? but dad! jude once again for us girlies! hope you enjoy 🤍🎄

“i look hideous!” jude yelled, trying to fix the super loose santa costume on him. you cried your eyes out laughing, having to sit on the bed and cross your legs or you would pee from laughter. “no please i’m sorry, i’m sorry, not really but i’ll say it so you won't change,” you wiped your eyes and stood up, walking over to jude who was ready to get out of the costume. 

“it’s supposed to be funny and cheery baby, you said you wanted to do this? surprise zion and esmeralda?” you reminded him, tiptoeing up to fix the santa hat that clearly was to small for his head. “yes but now instead of them being happy they’ll cry, and i don't like to see my babies crying,” jude sighed. 

ever since you had your two little ones, jude was an emotional mess. he would cry just by listening to their small pleads and sniffles to stay when he had away games or international break. jude would tear up at the smallest things zion would do. when he first kicked a small football, to saying his name, even when he spent relentless nights in jude’s arms. looking at zion right now, he looked like baby jude. jude spent so much time that he eventually recognized his small footsteps anywhere around the house. 

esmeralda? she was the spitting image of you but had her daddy's eyes that anyone could say the same. she was almost a year old, and jude would often tear up at the fact she's all grown. he brushed the smallest coils and curls back into pigtails, dressed her into baby pink onesies, and held her in his arms when she slept. esmeralda was a chunky toothy baby, who was a daddy’s girl over anything. 

“they won't cry trust me. they can recognize you from a mile away. plus i think the illusion they have of santa has been pretty positive after they took pictures with him and didn’t cry,” you reassured him, your thumb stroking his cheek watching him smile and relax into your palm. 

“but that’s because they saw the other kids happy, this time santa is in their home,” jude nervously stressed. jude went to sit on the corner of the bed clearly upset now of the idea of surprising the kids. “baby, you're stressing for no reason,” you sat on his lap, a hand resting on one of his shoulders and the other over his chest, “everything will go to plan, they said bye to the elf, and they left cookies and milk. if anything i think this would be the light of their year.”

the elf on the shelf was a new tradition introduced this year. and zion loved it more than anything, the first to wake up to see where it had moved or had done. but it cost small disagreements about where it would go or what it would do between you and jude. while you wanted a sweet and mannered elf, jude wanted to make it seem it was naughty and mischievous. 

after spending an hour tonight to find a place in the house, the two of you settled with the elf placed on top of the fireplace with a bitten cookie. the cookies the four of you made together after coming home from christmas eve dinner, jude holding baby esmeralda as he decorated the cookie, zion eating the frosting instead of using it, esme watching her daddy's every move, while you kept perfecting every cookie and poured milk into a glass. 

“the last thing i want is them a crying mess and forever being traumatized by christmas,” jude recalled leaning up to kiss you. “stop you’re distracting me,” you push back after getting lost into it. “i’m trying to ease your nerves but you have different ideas,” you state. “if you say everything will be fine and no crying babies, than i trust my love, ok?” he smiled wide and then smirked. 

you rolled your eyes at his smirk, and his flimsy hands that made their way up to push the straps of your top down. “so you’ll wear the costume?” you asked in a low voice, he hummed his thumbs drawing small circles on your skin. “good, now change out of it for tomorrow morning,” you smirked and then got up. 

“worst comes to worst, they cry and that’s it, but you're their favorite person so they quickly get over it,” you say fixing the straps that felt loose. “you make it sounds like they prefer me over you,” jude replied after taking the santa costume off, putting a loose white tee over his black boxers. 

“because they do baby,” you stifled a laugh sounding a bit unsure, getting under the covers and checking the baby camera to make sure the babies were okay. “that’s not true y/n. you spend almost all the time with them, even when you work. they love you and me equally,” jude frowned, sitting on your side of the bed where you lay, jude tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“not only are you an amazing mommy to them, but the most wonderful fiance to me. you care for us during the good and bad, not once losing your cool even when you feel like that. they don't have favorites. don't doubt their love because they smile the biggest when you walk into the room. i love you, my sweet girl,” jude rambled, his eyes never leaving yours even when his hand interlocked with yours kissing over your ring finger. 

“i didn't want to cry, jude, but oh my gosh you make that hard with this,” you got up and hugged him, kissing over the small scar on his collarbone, “i love you so much. you’re the greatest gift in my life along with our babies zion and esmy. being able to spend christmas with you after is truly the most thing i’m thankful for, because i wouldn't ask anything more in the world for our family to be together,” you sniffled, hearing jude chuckle and kiss your head. 

“cmon. i know you're tired after moving up and down all day to make christmas eve perfect. which i kept forgetting to thank you by the way,” jude rubbed your back before going over to the other side and laid next to you, bringing you into his chest. “stop making it seem like it did all the work. i wouldn't have done it without your help jude. listening to my idea or making comments where stuff should go, that’s why i got you a gift,” you giggled at when he let out a small gasp in shock. 

“we agreed on no gifts!” 

“i know, i know! but i had to, i promise you will love it, and it’s something that will be a reminder everyday,” you had to force yourself to shut up, knowing you were the type to tell someone about their gifts before the day could come. jude hummed in a “we will see” manner, kissing you a last time before going to sleep. “goodnight santa,” you whispered hearing him laugh. 

“quit it!” 

during the night, the babies joined you in the bed. esmeralda due to being hungry and wanting to be fed, and zion because of a small nightmare he claimed to have. jude was up before any of you, placing a kiss on the babies cheeks and on your forehead. the three of you were heavy sleepers, jude was not, waking up at any small movements or noise. 

jude whispered quietly to wake you up, not waiting any longer to surprise his babies and watch them open their gifts. “y/n? wake up its almost 9am, im gonna go change and wait downstairs okay?” you squinted your eyes and nodded, looking at zion and esmeralda sound asleep, small snores leaving their mouths. “i’m gonna change her diaper and we will be down okay? Make coffee please,” you pleaded with your eyes and pout. 

“okay hurry please!” jude said with anticipation, quickly grabbing the red santa costume and hat. jude waited by the tree, holding two gifts that belonged to the kids, his white beard helping not give his appearance away. jude heard the small scream zion let out saying it was christmas, and his whines to make you hurry up so they could open gifts. 

“zion please be careful! don't run down the stairs or you could get hurt baby,” you scolded but laughed at his cheery mood. esme kicked in your hold, her messy curls everywhere as her face was still slightly puffy after she woke up. zion gasped, and slowly walked forward, “is that santa, mommy?” he asked you with a quiet voice, feeling his small hand hold yours. 

zion came to stand behind your leg slightly timid or scared, as esmeralda gave you curious eyes. jude for a second thought this would take a turn and go the opposite way. zion was like this, if he didnt recognize anyone at first he got shy, but jude knew he was quick to happy and cheery. you seemed to have your way as all of the sudden zion peeked his head and then walked to stand back into his original spot. 

jude held back a laugh, and walked close to where the three of you were. “it is zion, and look he has your presents! go say hi baby, don't be scared,” zion ran over to jude who slightly stumbled back at the sudden push from the smaller three-year-old as he hugged his leg. “i can’t believe you’re here!” zion laughed and jumped up and down excitedly. 

“mommy don't be rude come here and say hi,” the small toddler urged giving you an attempted look of being grumpy. “hi santa,” you said with a laugh sitting on the couch as esmeralda crawled to her brother. “look esmy, that santa! and he's here with our presents,” zion crouched down to say to her. she sat on the floor and pointed at jude with her chubby finger, “dada?, but her brother laughed in denial. 

“no esmy, that santa not dada!” the toddler replied. jude’s heart warmed when he heard his babygirl call for him, but he didn't want to spoil anything, it was going to plan and he wanted it to remain that way. The fear and anxiety leaving his body, being afraid they would cry and get scared. he knew it wasn't the case when zion hugged him again, and couldn't stop smiling.

after zion and esmeralda opened the gifts jude had in his hand, zion kept asking question as to why he was here, how many kids he had visited, if he liked the cookies you guys had, if he the eld you guys had, needed to go back or stay. esmeralda knew it was her daddy, as she immediately crawled into his lap and began to tug on his white beard. jude took the whole santa act seriously, changing his voice to go deeper and instead of laughing he did the infamous “ ho ho ho”. 

zion believed every single second of it, not even noticing it was jude underneath. jude or well santa had to go back, zion pleaded for him not to go, but jude explained he needed to feed the reindeer, and give him them carrots. that the north pole needed santa claus back or the workshop would fail and there would be no christmas. zion hugged santa tight as possible making him promise to come next year. 

jude passed esme to you, giving you a wink before he left through the front door, zion screamed out that he couldnt believe it, that santa was here. he even walked over to the elf and thanked him for making this happen as apparently, it was one of his christmas wishes for santa to visit. 

“daddy! daddy! oh my god, santa was here you missed it!” zion yapped, explaining to jude who had the biggest smile on his face as he heard his little toddler ramble and stutter. esmeralda went back to her daddy as you grabbed you and jude a fresh brew of coffee in the christmas-themed mugs, kissing his lips and greeting him a good morning.

the next hour was spent watching your babies laugh and thank you repeatedly at their gifts, zion continuing to talk about santa being here. you took small pictures and videos to look back at the memory, jude kissing your shoulder from time to time, his brown eyes staring into yours. 

when you saw the time was right, zion and esme playing with his new toys, you walked over to grab both gifts. the presents neatly wrapped in the red wrapping snowman-themed paper with a small card dedicated to jude. when you sat down, jude did the same, bringing your gifts over to you, where you shook your head in disbelief. “i know we said no gifts but i couldn't help myself. i love to spoil you,” he said. 

after you and jude opened every gift, you gave him the final one. jude furrowed his brows, gently unwrapping the gift paper, continuing to eye you. you watched as he opened the red velvet box, and inside was a gold neck with three charms. your baby's heartbeats from your early pregnancy days, and an engraved hearth charm where it was custom themed, your hand writing spelling out ‘jude + y/n’ and your anniversary date where he asked you to be his gf. 

jude inspected every piece, his eyes welling up with tears feeling overjoyed with emotion. “there’s one more,” you reached behind you and grabbed the album of photos, jude letting out a nervous laugh as he began to look and reminisce you early relationship days, finding out you were pregnant, the trip to bahamas, zion and esmy when thet were tiny, and your proposal. jude brought you to his lap, where he wiped the tears away and snuck his head into the crook of youe neck. 

“i can’t thank you enough for this y/n. for this,” he gestured to the necklace and charms, “this” then the album still in his hand, “and for our little family,” jude felt over the moon. feeling speechless after the christmas morning went better than he imagined. He pulled you in closer, feeling more in love by you, a piece of him being complete after the gift you gave him.

“you’ve made this christmas and year so memorable, and im so lucky to have you jude. it’s the least i could do after everything you've done for me and our kiddos. i’m thankful to have met you, and to have person look after us 24/7. i love you so so so much,” you persisted, wiping the tears still present onto his cheeks. 

“i love you more than life itself,” he kissed you, holding your chin as your kiss felt like heaven. your lips made for him to taste and relish, molding perfectly with his. his hand tugged on you hair, not wanting to let go and keep you like this forever. jude had to resist and pulled back feeling breathless, you the same. 

hours later, jude was wearing the gold chain necklace, he had fallen asleep on the couch, baby esmeralda on his chest, while zion slept safe and sound, his head leaning onto his shoulder. he spent hours playing with them, the whole morning filled with laughs and screams from them. Jude had woken up, and went to place each baby in their rooms. 

he looked around for you, and called out for you and stumbled back in pure shock. you leaned on the door frame wearing nothing but a red lingerie set. a lace bra and thong, and thigh garters that were clipped onto the top waistband. he approached you, getting hard immediately, enamored with your body. he wasn't expecting this, but he sure as hell wasn't going to complain as you stood there with innocent eyes and a smirk on your face.

“you could count this as your last present.” 

————————

judebellingham posted on their feed!

judebellingham and ynusername

liked by: ynusername, jobebellingham, camavinga, realmadrid, brahmin, gioreyna, and 3,235,333 others.

judebellingham: feeling the love more than ever this year! happy holidays to everyone, and cheers to the new year! 🤍🎄

comments.

username30: i forget he’s a dad of two sometimes…

user54: YN APPEARANCE. NOBODY MOVE.

camavinga: feliz navidad bro ❤️

↪️ judebellingham: igualmente bro ❤️

vinijr: merry christmas ❤️🎄

↪️ judebellingham: merry christmas vini 🎄

realmadrid: enhorabuena jude! disfruta con tu familia.

liked by judebellingham!

ynusername: i love you endlessly 🤍

↪️ judebellingham: imposible bc i love you more prettygirl 😍🤍

jobebellingham: do you still have leftovers? will be coming over if you do.

↪️ judebellingham: we do but none for you

↪️ ynusername: ignore him, food will be ready soon, just come by!

gioreyna: miss you bro ❤️ happy holidays

↪️ judebellingham: happy holidays from my family to yours 🤍

user8238: their baby dressed as santa i cant 😣🥹

username328: i legit cant with them ☹️

username76: merry christmas and happy new year!

[reasonsforhope]

No-paywall version.

"You can never really see the future, only imagine it, then try to make sense of the new world when it arrives.

Just a few years ago, climate projections for this century looked quite apocalyptic, with most scientists warning that continuing “business as usual” would bring the world four or even five degrees Celsius of warming — a change disruptive enough to call forth not only predictions of food crises and heat stress, state conflict and economic strife, but, from some corners, warnings of civilizational collapse and even a sort of human endgame. (Perhaps you’ve had nightmares about each of these and seen premonitions of them in your newsfeed.)

Now, with the world already 1.2 degrees hotter, scientists believe that warming this century will most likely fall between two or three degrees. (A United Nations report released this week ahead of the COP27 climate conference in Sharm el Sheikh, Egypt, confirmed that range.) A little lower is possible, with much more concerted action; a little higher, too, with slower action and bad climate luck. Those numbers may sound abstract, but what they suggest is this: Thanks to astonishing declines in the price of renewables, a truly global political mobilization, a clearer picture of the energy future and serious policy focus from world leaders,

we have cut expected warming almost in half in just five years.

...Conventional wisdom has dictated that meeting the most ambitious goals of the Paris agreement by limiting warming to 1.5 degrees could allow for some continuing normal, but failing to take rapid action on emissions, and allowing warming above three or even four degrees, spelled doom.

Neither of those futures looks all that likely now, with the most terrifying predictions made improbable by decarbonization and the most hopeful ones practically foreclosed by tragic delay. The window of possible climate futures is narrowing, and as a result, we are getting a clearer sense of what’s to come: a new world, full of disruption but also billions of people, well past climate normal and yet mercifully short of true climate apocalypse.

Over the last several months, I’ve had dozens of conversations — with climate scientists and economists and policymakers, advocates and activists and novelists and philosophers — about that new world and the ways we might conceptualize it. Perhaps the most capacious and galvanizing account is one I heard from Kate Marvel of NASA, a lead chapter author on the fifth National Climate Assessment: “The world will be what we make it.” Personally, I find myself returning to three sets of guideposts, which help map the landscape of possibility.

First, worst-case temperature scenarios that recently seemed plausible now look much less so, which is inarguably good news and, in a time of climate panic and despair, a truly underappreciated sign of genuine and world-shaping progress...

[I cut number two for being focused on negatives. This is a reasons for hope blog.]

Third, humanity retains an enormous amount of control — over just how hot it will get and how much we will do to protect one another through those assaults and disruptions. Acknowledging that truly apocalyptic warming now looks considerably less likely than it did just a few years ago pulls the future out of the realm of myth and returns it to the plane of history: contested, combative, combining suffering and flourishing — though not in equal measure for every group...

“We live in a terrible world, and we live in a wonderful world,” Marvel says. “It’s a terrible world that’s more than a degree Celsius warmer. But also a wonderful world in which we have so many ways to generate electricity that are cheaper and more cost-effective and easier to deploy than I would’ve ever imagined. People are writing credible papers in scientific journals making the case that switching rapidly to renewable energy isn’t a net cost; it will be a net financial benefit,” she says with a head-shake of near-disbelief. “If you had told me five years ago that that would be the case, I would’ve thought, wow, that’s a miracle.”"

-via The New York Times Magazine, October 26, 2022

[loafgeto]

KINKMAS DAY FOUR: IMPACT PLAY WITH TOJI

synopsis | you just love toji’s big hands, especially when they’re groping your thigh, ass, or tit. it so happens that you get an idea of him using his hands and other toys when you both become intimate.

contents | fem!reader, she/her pronouns, explicit language, boyfriend!toji, established relationship. nsfw, use of impact toys (mostly paddles and bare hands), masochism & sadism, breast/nipple play, dry humping??, dirty talk, unprotected sex, rough sex (spanking, slapping, choking), markings, creampie, squirting, orgasms, pet names, dacryphilia if you squint. if i miss anything lmk

word count | 2.5k

notes | honestly idk how i wrote this like i felt like it sucked so bad

tags | @aydene @biscuitsngravie @homeslices @tiredkitten @get0sfav @erensflies @bleachisfood @witchbybirth (if you want to be tagged, just let me know!)

one thing about you was how much of a morning person you are. waking up energetically with no signs of exhaustion, draped in a bathrobe as you venture into the kitchen— not caring who you’d wake, and preparing the most delicious breakfast that your boyfriend can never deny not ever liking. another reason why you’re such a morning person is solely because of how your boyfriend approaches you when he wakes up.

toji’s not a morning person, never at all. ever since he dating you, he’s been forced awake with the sound of your noisy cooking in the kitchen. but he’s never too tired to slip out of the bed, drag his large body down the hall and towards the kitchen and wrap his arms around your waist. he’ll greet you with a kiss— on the cheek, neck, shoulder, anywhere he can possibly contact with his lips. he’ll pull you back against him, ass perfectly over the bulge of his pants while one hand goes to grope your tit. your boyfriend would gently knead into the fat, absorb your warmth into his body as he whiffs your scent. good morning, baby, toji would whisper— so softly that it sends you shivers down your spine. you love the feeling, it’s why you always enjoy your mornings.

the feeling of your boyfriend’s large hands roaming any part of your body steers you to an edge, and toji knows exactly where to touch that’ll make you pine whenever he walks away. the ache between your legs becomes too unbearable, and you’d forget about your activity in the kitchen to search for him. toji would either be on the bed, or couch, sometimes in the shower or sitting in a chair on the back porch— waiting for you. nothing else is said until you’re on top of him, sinking his thick cock into your heat. you two having sex in the morning was like a regular routine now, but it’s something you both simply enjoy and need to continue on with the day.

an idea struck your head whenever you felt toji’s large hands grope the fat of your ass, slapping the cheeks several times that had you wince— for some reason, you liked it: the sting, the picture of it possibly leaving marks after, and the way it causes your pussy to soak around his cock even more. toji’s hands are always roving around your body when you two are fucking, simply because he wants to feel your delicate skin. the idea you developed just so happens to cause you to buy several things online, not even caring about the cost.

it’s another morning when your phone buzzes, striking you out of the bed and out of toji’s arms. your boyfriend was half asleep, groaning because of the missing feeling of your body. but you’re too excited about the message on your phone that you don’t even acknowledge toji, and leave the room. your enthusiasm felt different this morning and it caused toji to jolt fully awake and aware of the situation. his dark purple eyes follow your figure out and all he ponders is what’s got you like this.

you’re this enthusiastic because your packages have finally arrived— the toys you’ve bought nearly a week ago. after retrieving them from the door, you bring the boxes into the living room where toji arrives shortly after. he’s still confused, having a hint of curiosity in his expression as a hand goes to scratch the back of his head.

“what’cha got there, babe?” toji’s voice chimes in your ears as a smile curves the corner of your lips when you’re cutting the box open. your boyfriend tilts his head when he approaches behind of you, watching as you take several wrapped objects out of the box.

“sex toys,” you reply when toji sits on the floor beside of you, crossing his legs while still observing them. “well, they’re a certain type of sex toy,” you add when you turn to toji, noticing his perplexed expression that obviously spoke out in disbelief.

“why do you need this?” toji proceeds to question, grabbing one of the toys which happens to be a paddle. he shakes it around, earning a short glare from you and chuckles. “well, it’s for us to try. i wanted to try something with you with these toys,” you reply, snatching the paddle from him.

toji raises a brow, maintaining his curiosity. “yeah?”

“use these toys on me, along with your hands,” you simply state, giving your boyfriend a smile.

“like— you want me to smack you with these things?” toji keeps his brow raised, snatching back the paddle into his hands and lifting it up between the two of you. with a nod, toji reacted quite— stunned. “didn’t know you were into that.”

“i just discovered that myself,” you reply, gently pushing the paddle away before climbing on toji’s lap. wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him close to you and he immediately expects a kiss. “you want to try it now?” a faint smirk appears on toji’s lips as a hand moves to grope your ass and you giggle.

“well.. not now, i still have to cook breakfast you know..” you reply, lifting your eyes to toji’s. your boyfriend chuckles, using his strength to lift you in his arms as he stands. with his hands holding underneath your thighs, he wraps your legs around his waist. “we can have it later. c’mon, baby— i wanna give your new toys a try too,” toji hums, huff following after. and of course, there’s no way you can reject that.

toji seemed to become more spirited now that he was on top of you, lips roughly moving against yours as you were pressing your clothed cunt against his knee. you can’t deny how alluring your boyfriend is— the way his words, his gestures, his damn gorgeous face drags you into a remedy of falling in love over and over. toji smiles against your lips, hearing your moans muffle into his mouth as he slips a hand underneath your shirt, pushing your bra up to knead the fat of your breast, eventually pinching your nipple.

“mm- toji~” you mewl softly, running your hands along his toned shoulder blades and down his muscular back, fingertips nearly pulling the material of his shirt. toji hums, a low coo, as he pulls away slightly. he begins by discarding your tops, tossing them side before attacking both your breasts again with his hands. the feeling of his cold hands absorbing into your skin makes you quiver, but the sense of his fingertips playing with your tits just gets that perfect moan out of you— just how toji likes. “need you inside me, baby- please.”

“i hear you, mama. be patient,” toji replies with a chuckle to your neediness. you squirm under him, continuing to rub yourself on his knee, stimulating your clit to make yourself wetter. toji can feel how soaked you were, even when your pussy was covered in thick laced panties. he smiles, watching as you’re fucking yourself on his knee. “my girl is s’needy, ain’t she? should i replace my knee with my cock now?”

“yes— please, toji! pleaseeeee, need your cock~” your whine doesn’t end when toji’s words struck you like a madwoman. your boyfriend eagerly pushes down his sweats as you slip off your shorts, leaving yourself in your underwear. “get on your hands and knees, baby,” toji instructs as he strokes his cock, and you follow his words— propping yourself up on your hands and knees, arching your back slightly as your hips grind back against him.

toji slips down your panties, leaving them around your thighs as he positions himself behind you, prodding the tip of his cock against your entrance. you moan as one of his hands grip the side of your hips, softly caressing the skin and tingling your insides. your boyfriend seemed to enjoy the fact that a simple touch like that gets you aroused— almost into a mess.

“tojiii—” you can’t help up continuously cry out his name until he inserts his cock into your sopping cunt, widening your walls with his thick girth and rubbing faultlessly against your g-spot. he slaps your ass— harsh, making you wince and instantly squeeze around him. “fu-fuck.. you’re s’big~”

“godddd, your pussy feels so damn good,” toji comments, throwing his head back slightly as a low groan follows when he pushes his entire length into you. he takes a quick moment to indulge the heat and pulsating clench of your cunt, groping and smacking your ass several times that it’d leave marks. “fuck my cock, baby. c’monnnnn.”

you couldn’t deny your boyfriend’s request and started moving your hips slowly, bouncing back against his hips and feeling his cock nudge your inner parts. with your moans muffled into the bed sheets, toji grabs one of the impact toys you bought— you didn’t know which, as your mind was occupied on his dick slipping in and out of you.

toji lowers his face to the area you two connected, chuckling quietly when watching your pussy glide up and down, coating his cock with your slickness. it’s always arousing to toji— to see his cock drenched in your wetness, to see you occasionally suck him in as if you’ll never feel him again, and to see you become messier and messier under him.

you gasp loudly when toji slaps the paddle against your ass, causing you to squeeze around toji tighter than before. he grunts, but a smirk follows as your pace begins slowing. “what’s wrong baby, can’t stand it?” toji hums, giving your skin another smack with the toy.

“n-no— toji, it feels so good—” you mewl, your nails digging into the mattress of the bed. you proceed to bounce your hips back, smacking against his pelvic area. each sting causes your body to quiver, mainly your legs, stirring the fog in your head that causes you to improperly think. “that’s good, baby. keep fucking my cock just like that— f-fuck, your pussy is amazing,” toji groans the praise, smacking the back of your thighs with the paddle that makes you whine.

the feel of toji’s hand caressing the skin of your ass after smacking it with the paddle brings a sensation of pleasure, seemingly that he was trying to ease the sting he inflicted. your moans plummet further out of your mouth, pouncing off the walls of the room as you bounced faster against toji’s cock. the sloppy sounds of your arousal audible in your ears, followed by the smacks of the paddle in toji’s other hand. it’s too much to bear— especially when his throbbing tip is fucking into your g-spot continuously, stirring you towards an orgasm.

as you’re busying yourself on his cock, moaning becoming breathy and trying to find your climax— toji’s attention becomes caught with the thought of himself becoming addicted to this situation. he smacks the paddle on your ass again, groaning when he feels you clench around him tight like before. he likes that— so fucking much.

“i’m sososo close— babyyyy,” you cry out as you turn your head slightly, face still pressed against the sheets as you profusely rock your hips. toji’s cock continues to rub against your g-spot, forming a knot in your core before you cry aloud, squirting all over him and the sheets.

but toji wasn’t finished yet— he tosses the paddle somewhere, lowering his body over yours until his chest is pressed against your back, and starts thrusting harshly into you. your eyes widen with the sudden movement as you were freshly out of your orgasm. your pitch of cries became clearer and tears began welling the sockets of your eyes.

“wa-wait toji—”

but your boyfriend doesn’t stop, using one of his large hands to grab your underboob, fingertips pinching your nipple while his other hand slithers down to your clit. his face falls next to yours, mouth near your ear and you can hear the faint sounds of his moans and grunts as he pounds into you. he’d thumb your clit several times before slapping the side of your ass, but his hips heavily ramming into you seems to be doing the better job. he’d ravel his hand around your neck, gently pressing into your throat before licking the lobe of your ear.

“mm- fuck, we don’t need the toys anymore, baby. i can just use my hands on ya now,” toji grunts, his whispery words purring in your ear as he smiles, hearing your moans stumble out as a response when he chokes you. his hips slap harshly against your ass, causing the bed to shake and creak each thrust he gives. you can barely formulate words as your mind becomes foggy, your tears now streaming down your cheeks.

“to—tojiii,” it seems his name was the only syllable you could pronounce at that given moment, legs weakening as his harsh slams into you increases. toji was reaching his own climax, stuffing his cock into your deepest part so that he could dump his warm and thick load.

he clears your tears just so he could see you form more and have them stream down your face again, grunting every moment you clench around him as he thrusts— deeper, and deeper. you don’t know how much you’ve orgasmed at that point: from enjoying his rough fucking to the stinging slaps of his hips and hands on your ass. a sensation you’re loving way too much.

“i’m.. cumming— again,” you state, slurring your words into the bed as toji’s quickly fucking you dumb. your eyes rolled back as you came over him, sobs of pleasures flowing out of your mouth as your walls flutter around him.

“good girl. cummed so much just f’me,” toji smiles, inching his cock deeper when he feels his climax reaching directly after yours. “i’m about to- cum too- fuck. i’m gonna stuff your womb with my babies now, yeah? would my pretty girl like that?”

“yesyesyesyes! pleaseee!”

without seconds of waiting, toji finally ejaculates his load into you— filling your baby room to the brim with his warm cum, having you mewl quietly as your legs trembled and slowly faltered to the bed. when toji pulls away from you, you’re left laying there— panting, sweating terribly, tears dried on your cheek and your mixed cums dripping out of your abused pussy.

the stinging of the paddle and his hips slapping into you gradually returning to your senses, and just as you’re about to turn around, toji decides to flip you instead to face him.

lowering your eyes, you notice toji’s— hard, red and swollen cock staring up at you as if he’s still got more cum to give you. giving him a glance, your boyfriend just starts brushing his tip against your entrance leaking with his cum.

“don’t worry doll, it’s only 9:34. we have all day.”

LOAFGETO. thank you for reading! please do not copy my work or publish in another media without my permission.

a/n: sooo sorry for the delays! been working on my final projects for my classes but i’m officially exam and college free (as of now) AND IM GOINGGGG HOMEEEEEEE so excited to publish more <3

[hunny-beann]

The Coming of Spring

Loki Laufeyson x f!Reader

Synopsis: It is May Eve on Asgard, a Holiday that exists to celebrate love, fertility, and the coming of Spring…

Though, if your lover, Prince Loki has his say in the matter (and he usually does), Spring will not be the only thing to come, nor will it be the only worshiped aspect of this particular eve.

Note: Welcome to the smut fest! For some reason I've found myself up at six in the morning writing this, so please forgive any mistakes I've made while in my horrendously exhausted state. I hope you enjoy! :)

Warnings: Pretty graphic NSFW, vulgarity, somewhat of a breeding kink, and pure unadulterated filth

Word Count: 2,419

There was a rather frantic energy pulsing throughout the room as the palace staff rushed about nervously, not a single set of idle hands to be found in the combined effort to finish the preparations for the afternoon's upcoming festivities in a timely manner.

You blew out a puff of air, already exhausted from the tasks you had completed thus far and silently cursing this day for daring to come at all.

And yet this year, as with every other, the springtime holiday still arrived, the augur of some great change, according to legend, though for you it always meant the same thing:

Waking up at five in the morning to prepare for the upcoming afternoon festival in whatever manner the queen deemed fit for the proper celebration of what had come to be well known Walpurgisnacht, or May Eve, the holiday that brought upon the loud and boisterous worship of love, fertility, and the coming of Spring.

And of course, a day so dedicated to such things was one of pleasant festivities to be certain, and thus you never failed to enjoy it, but even still, your chores weighed heavily upon you as your overworked fingers weaved petals and stems through glistening golden iron.

It had been four hours since you had gotten up to work, and somehow it had felt like an eternity, your hands cramping and begging for relief as the tips of your fingers rubbed themselves raw with duty.

You paused for a moment to yawn into the crook of your elbow, wishing for the one hundredth time within that hour alone that you had gotten more sleep the night before.

Still, it had been a worthy sacrifice, had it not? A little bit of exhaustion today in order to avoid the simmering desire of the realm's younger prince throughout the festivities, or, more accurately yet, throughout your abundant tasks that you had scheduled about your day?

Yes, almost assuredly. You had learned all too well from last year (and the other two before that), that it was rather hard to do such things as wash the finest of the palace's dinnerware with Loki's skilled fingers upon your chest or beneath your dress, after all.

So, if a bit of freedom from your concerns of being dragged off into some dark corner upon every available moment of your dear prince's day came at the cost of you being forced to wake up early while he slept away the previous evening's activities, then so be it.

At least this way, you could know for certain that you still had quite a few hours yet until someone urged the prince to rise, giving you plenty of time to complete at least the preparatory chores before he began his ever persistent search for you.

He seemed to enjoy the game of seeking you out each morning, or at whatever time it was that he rose or found himself at leave, though usually it was to do little more than tease or annoy you as you attempted to work through his ceaseless attempts at distraction.

But on a holiday like today, you found that he was typically all too content with taking his teasing quite a few steps further. That said, much to your (mostly feigned) chagrin, that did not mean that he never found himself seeking out far less innocent sounds than those of annoyance, laughter, or sheer disbelief from you on random days throughout the year.

No, Loki was incorrigible, and beyond even that, incomprehensible with his choices and behaviors, and you could normally never hope to know upon which day you might find yourself sandwiched between his chest and some palace wall, though with the arrival Walpurgisnacht, it was almost always a certainty.

Still, with something that was perhaps akin to a fool's ignorance, you dared to hope that maybe, after a night like the one this dawn had followed, your prince may have been just sated enough to make it through the holiday without torturing you so the way that he usually chose to.

Such a thought could not be so terribly remiss, could it? Not after the hours upon hours of groping, fleeting, and cradling touches that the two of you had offered one another the night before.

Not after an afternoon's worth of teasing at the hands of the god of mischief upon that very same day, or the longing glances that carried on well into the evening.

Not after he had cornered you in the garden after dinner had come to an end, speaking his long withheld and inconceivably filthy promises of what was to come clearly and casually into the cool night air as if the two of you were simply taking an evening stroll together, talking about the weather or your hobbies rather than the way he planned to have you upon his tongue within the hour, hands creating bruising imprints of obvious ownership in the soft flesh of your hips and thighs as he drove you to madness before pulling you right back toward sanity again with the blunt tip of his cock as it kissed up against your wet folds, smearing precum amongst the remnants of his saliva and the glistening drool of your already thoroughly abused cunt.

Not after you had given in a mere twenty minutes after hearing his whorish promises of what he intended to do to you once he laid his hands upon your bare flesh again, knocking quietly at his heavy chamber doors until he finally came to find you standing there, having made you wait in a manner that was no doubt intentional just so he could feel the exaggerated way that you melted against him when he finally pulled you near, kissing you deeply until his amused and teasing chuckles turned into low and rumbling groans that arose from deep within his chest, and he pulled away to order you to your knees before him, mouth open and waiting so he could see the way your eager tongue stuck out to taste him even before he was bare before you, and how your perfect thighs began to rub together in a fruitless attempt to ease the ache that the sight of him never ceased to cause.

Not after he had held you firm against his chest, arm looped around your middle as you'd laid beneath him on all fours while he'd thrust his strong and lithe hips against your trembling ones, not an ounce of mercy to be found as he hissed and moaned with reckless abandon beside your ear, the sounds of his pleasure easily matching and occasionally even drowning out your own as he reminded you of who you had been born to serve, to worship, and to cum for upon his very command.

And oh, did he command.

Eleven orgasms, if you had counted correctly, and you were fairly certain with as hazy as your mind had felt after the first four, that you had not.

Your cheeks burned red at the clear and persistent memories of the previous night, Loki's satisfied groans and sluttish moans playing over and over within your head as if he were right there with you, cock buried in whichever tight, wet hole was deemed worthy of his attentions within that particular moment.

You swallowed thickly, pressing your thighs together tightly as you continued your seemingly endless work, flower after flower coming to rest perfectly upon the third archway that had been granted your efforts for the morning thus far.

Though, in spite of how diligently you worked at your assigned chore, it seemed that the fates themselves had something against it being completed,

For what other reason could there be for such familiarly agile hands to suddenly rest upon your hips so early in the morn, in spite of the tiresome escapades that had occurred the night before?

It was so unlike the younger prince of Asgard to awaken so early after a night of passion, after which he tended to lounge upon his sheets, naked body blessing the very realm with its presence as sunlight danced upon his skin.

You had seen that many a time after all, hadn't you? So you would certainly know, better than most at that, if not better than all.

But then again, it was so very much like Loki to rise early not to seize this day, but rather to seize you upon it as he had done for the past three May Eves since he had claimed you as his own...

And maybe you had not considered that fact as diligently as you should have while working to tire him out the night before, though now you were embarrassed to admit that you scarcely knew why you would have wanted to do so in the first place.

It seemed that your rather vivid memories of the prior evening's festivities had brought about a familiar stirring betwixt your thighs, and you knew all too well that there was only one set of hands, one silver tongue, one long and devastatingly thick cock, and one god of mischief who could help you to ease your sudden discomfort.

"Good morning, my dear."

He purred against the shell of your ear, warm breaths causing your hair to flutter about delicately as his hands traveled over top your gown.

"It would seem that I require some additional support when it comes to selecting and befitting myself with the proper attire for this afternoon's festivities."

He all but purred, forcing you to bite back a shiver as you struggled not to make your already overwhelming need for him too obvious.

It was never fun to just give in, after all.

You knew all too well how much he liked the chase.

So, with that thought in mind, you steadied yourself to the best of your ability, giving your already racing imagination a few brief moments of peace before finally, you spoke,

"Is that so, my prince?"

You asked, feigning curiosity as you did your best to continue working on the task at hand, sore fingers working deftly at soft petals and slightly thorny stems as you weaved them continuously through metal.

"Well, I regret to inform you that your dear mother, our most respected queen, specifically requested that I myself create the flowered arches for the festival this year."

You began,

"She was kind enough to let me know how much she enjoyed my work upon them last eve in Lady Juniper's absence, and asked if I might be willing to work my magic for a second year running."

You heard an amused chuckle arise from behind you, and though you were certain that Loki had already planned something truly devious to drag you away from your duties with, you continued to feign innocence.

"And how could I dare say no to a request such as that, dear prince? It would seem that Lady Juniper's past maternity leave has provided me with quite the opportunity with which to rise into our lady's good graces, and who would I be to squander such a thing?"

There was a thoughtful hum from your lover as he reached beyond you to thumb at a few of the petals that decorated your current project with his left hand, though the right stayed firm upon your hip, the pads of his fingers pressing deftly into your flesh just as they had done the night before, mirroring the bruises he'd left there perfectly.

"An utter fool, to be sure."

He replied easily, voice low and smooth as he continued,

"Though, I can think of a far better way for you to rise into the All-Mother's good graces, sweetling."

He murmured, lips brushing against your neck just enough so that you could feel the smirk that rested so prominently upon them.

He had you exactly where he wanted you, though you could scarcely bring yourself to mind when there was such a tremendous desire building for him deep within your core.

"Oh?"

You asked curiously, nimble fingers still working on your once so heavily fixated on project,

"And what might that be, Prince Loki?"

At that, you felt the ever teasing god of mischief crowd your back, his hardness pressed against you as you desperately fought the urge to wriggle against his crotch just to hear the no doubt sluttish groan he would let out if you did.

Thankfully enough though, your lover seemed eager to get to the point, the reasoning for that fact somehow growing even harder at the touch of your warmth, even with it being so dulled beneath your clothing.

He chuckled,

"Well my dear, I think you would find her to be quite pleased if you were to request your own leave in the coming months."

He purred, and this time, you could not even hope to fight back the shiver that followed, your hands finding either side of the nearly completed archway with a gasp as Loki bent you over at the waist, pressing himself as close to your clothed core as he could manage with a low and eager groan, his words dripping with both amusement and thinly veiled arousal as he spoke up again,

"Would you like me to give you a reason to do so?"

He all but growled, offering you one tortuously slow gyration of his hips in order to ensure your understanding of his less than subtle connotations as the hand that had once gripped so tightly to your hip moved swiftly beneath your dress, rubbing firmly against your bundle of nerves through your undergarments as you gasped both out of humiliation for where he had you so plainly in need of him, as well as out of arousal at his confident and ever beseeching touch.

And then suddenly, you were giving fervent and almost pleading nods in response to his previous question, having given up entirely on any hope of completing your most important project of the day.

It was, after all, May Eve, and how else should one hope to properly celebrate the coming of the Spring if not by blossoming beneath the touch of the queen's beloved second son?

And, it was as Loki had so cleverly stated himself,

It was not as if you would not be arriving swiftly and permanently within Frigga's good graces soon.

No, not if the god of mischief had his way,

Not if the two of you celebrated Walpurgisnacht in the way that Freyja herself had intended.

Loki Tag List: @mischief2sarawr

Additional Tag: @lokisgoodgirl (thank you very much for so kindly answering my anonymous questions regarding the SAS earlier! I've found that I have yet to develop the courage necessary to directly message any (other) particular authors yet, but I figured I can at least step outside of my comfort zone and tag you as you oh so kindly gave me permission to in your reply. Thank you again for your encouragement! <3)

[sweetiecutie]

Yandere Draco Malfoy headcanons

Warnings: yandere behavior, toxic relationships, bullying, obsession, sexual implications but nothing is described, mention of anxiety and depression

Draco is a spoiled brat. Since birth, whenever he wanted something - it was delivered to him in a matter of hours - maximum a few days - in a fancy box decorated with huge sparkly bow on top of it. So when you, to his great astonishment, instead of throwing yourself at him tell him to go fuck himself - Draco gets pissed (and extremely anxious)

It’d be just perfect if you were a pureblood - absolutely no restraints for Draco in courting and spending time with you. If you happened to be a half-blood - he’d be extremely conflicted, but eventually just going so far as forging your personal documents, claiming that you’re a descent of an ancient pureblood family that happened to go missing due to a drastic accident and then being ‘found’ and ‘adopted’ by your parents. Same would go to a muggleborn darling, but I doubt he’d even pay attention to them in a first place

Draco grew up in environment where arranger marriages had always been an expected and usual thing, personal preferences and actual feelings rarely being involved; his parents had never felt anything but revulsion and loathing for each other - Draco’s idea of love is extremely twisted. Love, in his understanding, is when you’re official - when everyone in the family, school, country and world knows that you’re together, tied by strong bond of marriage. That’s what he’d been taught, that’s what he strongly believes in

That leads to Draco spreading rumors all around school about you two being in a relationship, even though it’s obviously a lie. He doesn’t need you to agree with all his stories - you may deny everything as much as you want but eventually everyone in Hogwarts will know that you two are involved with each other in some way. Even if some students don’t believe all the rumors going around, they would think twice before approaching you, not wanting to deal with Draco and his buddies

His logic is pretty much “If I can’t have you - no one can”. If you happened to have a partner - not for long. Once again, Draco would spread nasty lies about you constantly cheating on your S/o with him, and oh boy, can this man be persuasive. Soon enough your partner would be so fed up or simply ashamed of being in relationship with you, breaking up on you not even a few months in dating. And that would happen again and again with every one of your little silly love interests until you finally give up and come crawling to Draco since, well, he’s basically the only person in the whole castle offering you comfort and company

Draco is mean. He doesn’t know how to express his fondness and love obsession so he tries doing so through the ways already known to him - bullying. Snarky comments and snickering seem to accompany your every smallest movement, pale eyes being always fixated on you, waiting, praying for you to make at least one smallest mistake so that he’d finally have a reason to approach you, even if it’s to humiliate you

He’d deluge you with presents, basically trying to buy your affection. Anything you want - you get it. You like that sweater that doesn’t cost a quarter of its actual price - it will be lying on your bed neatly folded, a note attached to it saying “It would look better laying on my bedroom floor”. Want a diamond ring - of course, my dear, as many as you wish, but only after official “I Do”. You want ten liters of Unicorn’s bile - “Ew, that’s bloody gross. Here you go, fucking weirdo” - hands you four bottles filled with dark brown liquid. Where the hell did he even get it from? You said it just to test his limits

Even if you do eventually agree to step into relationship with Draco which is more of an act of pity, let’s be honest his behavior won’t get any better. Yeah, he stops with bullying for sure, but his obsession seems to only get worse the more time you spend together. Draco would become extremely possessive, to an extend where someone else looking at you for longer than a few second would send Draco into an ugly tantrum, shouting accusations and threats at everyone around

That leads to thus little number of friends you had reducing to absolute zero - them being too afraid or simply sick of Draco and his constant blackmailing and threats, leaving you all alone in his clutches. Being friends with you becomes simply too dangerous for others

He’ll follow you everywhere. Wherever you are, it seems like Draco and his little squad is always a few meters afar, watching you closely. It gets even worse once you two are ‘dating’ - Draco is like a chewing gum stuck in your hair - impossible to get rid of. You do your homework - he’s right by your side, flipping the pages of your book over when you ask. You’re getting ready to take a shower - he’s already shirtless and undoing his pants “Don’t you care about saving water and environment? Y/n, penguins are dying!”

Constantly touches you. And if you don’t like it or feel uncomfortable with his touch - too bad, Draco doesn’t care. “Darling, don’t fucking resist me. You’re only making it worse for yourself” And that’s true, it’s better to have contended and happy Draco snuggled into you rather than a furious and annoyed one, tightly wrapping his huge hand around your neck

His mood swings are just something. One moment he may be all cuddly and snuggly, looking at you like a lovesick puppy, and the other - he’s frowning and snarling insults, words are pure poison. And just five minutes later he crawls back with the saddest expression on his face, “Sorry, I got really upset, I thought you were thinking about that scumbag Potter again🥺👉🏻👈🏻” - “Draco, how the fuck can you know what I was thinking about?!”

He’d never physically hurt you because, well, Draco is a pussy. The maximum is pressing you against the wall with his hand around your throat, not choking but just holding you in place while glaring down at your smaller form. All the damage that he causes is mostly emotional. You’d definitely develop paranoia because of his constant stalking, feeling as if even walls have eyes and ears, intently watching your every move. Constant anxiety caused by Draco’s harsh words and treatment, may lead to deep depression

From the good things - he’s really eager to please you. As I said - whatever you want - you get, even if that’s not a material thing. Fame, power, influence - all of that is real and you can get it easily by simply being with him. But the more Draco gives you, the more demanding he gets - everything has its price. At first simple affection will be the greatest repay, but the older you both get - the more sexual turn it all gets

Draco would go absolutely insane during the summer break. He’ll be writing you a few times a day, demanding an answer from you containing a detailed description of your day, who you were talking to and all the conversations themselves. He’d defo get a pair of those double ended mirrors for you two (Wizarding FaceTime lmao) so he can see your beautiful face and hear that lovely voice of yours. And oh, don’t you dare not responding to his tenth call of a day - it’ll end up in a biggest tantrum

His parents noticing Draco’s obsession way too late, not being able to fix nor influence son’s unhealthy behavior. Narcissa tries to reason with her son, cool his eagerness and patroon a bit down, for the sake of both him and you. But Draco sees that as a betrayal, his twisted mind turning it into his family trying to turn you against him, to take you away from him. Now he sees it all - he doesn’t need their approval nor their blessing, he’ll have it his way anyways. It ends with Draco basically forcing marriage upon you, doing what he’s been longing for all these years - claiming you as his, so that no one could ever doubt the special bound you two have

After all, you two were always meant to be

Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! Writers live off feedback!💖

[alllgator-blood]

I have ten billion WIP sketches I need to finish, but for some reason I stayed up from 9 PM to 4 AM conceptualizing, making patterns, sewing, painting and applying makeup on this stupid fucking felt squid......the detailing needs to be cleaned up cause there's only one coat of paint so far, but he's pretty much done

my neighbors probably think I'm insane because I was running around the yard clenching this toy kallamar in a death grip and flying him around like an airplane/putting him in the barbecue/poking him with a stick. I want to tie him to a string and recreate the opening of napoleon dynamite >:) ALSO I MADE HIM SMOKE OUT OF A STUPID CRYSTAL PIPE BUT PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY USE THOSE, THEY ARE SUPER TOXIC LMAO MINE IS FOR DECORATION

I don't have any process pics because I had tunnel vision autism style and forgot the rest of the universe existed while I was working on him. BUT if you're curious I'll ramble below the cut

Okay I am not a seamstress by any means. I've sewn my entire life but very, very infrequently. I've done plushies, clothes, cosplays, fursuits, accessories, etc. but I only do one like once a year, so while I planned to make all 5 bishops, I'm not really sure I'll get them all done. The material cost was like 20 bucks tops so I'm not too upset if I don't finish them. I AT LEAST WANT TO GET SHAMURA OR HEKET DONE.

here is the concept sketch ft. heket's toes and shamura's fingers. I decided to do his pre-schism version so I could fit him with jewelry! I did him first because like I said I sew infrequently and don't know wtf I'm doing, everyone else seemed a lot more complicated.

So I basically just traced this drawing on a printer paper-sized canvas in SAI, and guesstimated how everything would look in a 3D space. His head is four pieces, one triangle identical to the one in the picture, two wide triangles that are sewn together in the back, and a circle for his chin. You can't really see it in any of the pics but he's literally like a black cylindrical stick with little tentacles sewn on where his mantle connects to his cloak. The leg tentacles are one piece of felt that look like tassels, where they're connected by a rectangle but branch off into individual pieces. He can't stand up very well, so his cape keeps him up (that's gonna be an issue for every other bishop too except heket cause she's gonna be ROUND). Mostly everything like the crown, cloak, head, etc. are cones so I just had to make a lot of wide triangles.

For the details, I just used acrylic paint that was watered down so he's not especially crunchy, and for the blush tone I used a makeup palette my mom bought me 10 years ago in hopes I'd get in touch with my "feminine side", but I grew up into a nonbinary butch lesbian so OOPS. Kallamar looks better with makeup than me anyway. I'm kinda sad I couldn't get his freckles as lopsided as I draw them but it probably looks better in plush form to have them even anyway....

I could just post the pattern so I don't have to explain this but 1. I am mentally ill about the thought of my kallamar being in someone else's house and 2. the original pattern had to be tweaked while I was working on him so the final pattern straight up doesn't exist, I winged it the whole time

OH and the jewelry is just scrap pieces I had laying around, I might repaint it all to be gold instead of silver + bronze. I used 20g aluminum wire for his armlet thing, jumper rings for his earrings + ring (+ a diamond dot from my mom's kits for the gem) and chain for the bracelet. I made him an amulet as well but it felt like overkill so I took it off. I'm probably gonna make him a plague doctor mask and medicine bag sometime because I think about nurse kallamar more than I probably should :') I've already sewn one as a prop for a toy raven before so it shouldn't be too hard

[mothercetrion]

Johnny & Kenshi's "Relationship" in MK1

Well before MK1 was released, Ed Boon had this to say about Kenshi (and Johnny) and their roles in the story:

I was incredibly interested in this "relationship" from that moment and really hoped that it would pay off like he said. I think it has done so tenfold, and I wanted to compile their moments throughout the story together and go through their relationship arc, moment by moment, chapter by chapter, for everyone to enjoy.

This post contains spoilers for both Kenshi and Johnny's roles in MK1, as well as major plot points of the story itself. You have been warned!

To start, if you want to watch a compilation of their moments, you can watch this YouTube video by MKIceAndFire, which includes everything discussed in this post up to Chapter 7. 

Chapter 2: Their First Meeting 

The climax of Chapter 2 is the back-to-back events of Johnny’s wife, Cristina, leaving him, and Kenshi entering soon after. Kenshi is here on a mission: retrieve Sento from Johnny, no matter the cost. They fight, and Johnny wins. It’s here that they introduce themselves properly (or Kenshi introducing himself to Johnny), and Johnny learns more about his motives and why he needs Sento so badly. He does so to save his family, the Taira clan, from the Yakuza, which they joined for protection after the Siege of Aomori, according to Johnny. 

Soon after, Liu Kang, Bi-Han, and Kuai Liang arrive, where Johnny thinks that the trio is a part of Kenshi’s retrieval mission. After Johnny and Bi-Han fight, Liu Kang tells both Johnny and Kenshi about their new role as Earthrealm’s champions. Johnny openly questions Kenshi’s inclusion, still hardly believing his story about being part of the Taira clan. The chapter ends here. 

We know from here that Kenshi and Johnny openly do not trust one another and likely hate one another. For Kenshi, Johnny is the one thing in the way of his goal of saving the Taira clan from the Yakuza. When arguing with his wife, Johnny reveals that he paid 3 million dollars for Sento; considering that their impending divorce is over money, it makes sense that he is not willing to just give it to some stranger. 

Chapter 3: Bickering 

Johnny and Kenshi do not have many scenes in Chapter 3, with most of its focus being on Raiden, but the few scenes they have show us a lot about the state of their relationship. The four Earthrealm champions—Johnny, Kenshi, Kung Lao, and Raiden—discuss their circumstances and their training with the monks. Johnny expresses his desire to see Outworld to do research for the movie franchise that he hopes to make; according to him, they’ve been “cooped up” training for months. Kenshi sarcastically calls him selfless, and Johnny states that he’s only there to get Sento back, indirectly stating that they’re both only training for selfish reasons. Johnny also harshly calls him “Tattoo” as a nickname, not even using his last name as Kenshi does for him. 

When Johnny is defeated by Raiden in the mini-tournament set up by Liu Kang, the two glare at one another while Johnny exits the fight and Kenshi enters. The scene is adorned with dramatic music (relating to the tournament at hand) and a slow-motion shot of their expressions. The choices here are likely to emphasize the disdain they have for one another and the insane amount of tension they have between them. 

That night, before Raiden and Kung Lao fight, Johnny attempts to bet on Lao’s potential victory. Kenshi is open to a bet, but only if Johnny puts Sento up for grabs. Johnny laughs and says, “Not on your life,” revealing that he has not budged on his desire to keep Sento after all this time. 

They have a brief scene when the group leaves for Outworld where Johnny starts filming Kenshi. Kenshi turns with an annoying expression and knocks his phone out of his hand, much to Johnny’s shock. This scene is the last they have in this chapter that has any real significance, minus standing by one another. 

The few scenes they have in this chapter show that their relationship has not improved since they met a few months prior, even after spending every day together; if anything, it has gotten worse and more openly hostile. They judge one another’s reasons for being champions for Earthrealm and still do not respect one another. 

Chapter 4: More Fighting & Kenshi’s Blinding 

We play as Kenshi for the duration of this chapter. The two of them, alongside Kung Lao, are tasked with finding Shang Tsung for Liu Kang to question. Kenshi openly questions Johnny's inclusion on the mission and openly states that he would prefer Raiden to go along with them instead of “this one,” making it known that he does not value Johnny as a fighter or a teammate. Johnny protests and insists that he’s up to the job of finding Shang Tsung. Before they depart, they glare at one another once more. 

When out in the Outworld desert, Kenshi and Johnny begin to bicker once more. Johnny brings up the 3 million dollars needed to buy Sento and tells Kenshi that he would likely have Sento back in his possession if he were still with the Yakuza. Kenshi turns around quickly to yell at Johnny about the corruption that the Yakuza spreads and his desire to get his clan out, all while shining his flashlight on Johnny’s face.

After meeting Baraka and ending up in Shang Tsung’s laboratory, the three of them ambush Rain, Tanya, and Shang Tsung in an effort to save Mileena from what they believe is a Tarkat infection. Johnny makes the “get away from her, you bitch” reference that it feels like everyone has seen, much to Kenshi and Lao’s visible confusion. 

Kenshi defeats both Tanya and Rain in battle, and he briefly speaks to Mileena before her illness makes itself known. It is here that Kenshi does something he’s not done all of the story: he calls Johnny by his first name instead of just “Cage.” He asks for a hand in fighting Mileena, and Johnny hurries over to help. Johnny asks about a plan, and Kenshi states that the only real plan is to not hurt her. Johnny is visibly shocked and says that he’s more worried about “us” getting hurt than Mileena. 

They fight Mileena, and Kenshi and Johnny win. Kenshi asks Johnny and Lao (again calling Johnny by his first name) to hold Mileena down so Shang Tsung can administer the serum needed to subdue her Tarkat symptoms. They do so briefly, and she eventually knocks Lao away and goes to bite Johnny’s face. Instead, Kenshi comes from behind, grabs Mileena by the straps of her outfit on her shoulders, and pulls her away, saving the life of someone that until just minutes before, he has been shown to hate. 

Then Mileena shoves Kenshi away just long enough to grab a pair of sai from a nearby table and gouge Kenshi’s eyes out. His blood sprays, and Johnny is hit in the face with the splatter. In the horror of the aftermath, he yells Kenshi’s first name for the first time, nothing short of terrified and worried. The chapter ends soon after this. 

This chapter is the official shift in their relationship. This chapter is when both characters finally refer to one another by their first names, though it is all we see of any sort of genuine appreciation of one another. Kenshi calls Johnny by his name in the midst of immediate danger; he needs Johnny’s help, and he’s visibly frightened in the scene itself. Johnny calls Kenshi by his name in the aftermath of the danger, when he just saw someone that he’s known for months lose his eyes in the most vicious way possible (and gets hit with his blood in the process). The shift is not seen until later chapters, but Kenshi going blind while saving Johnny’s life is the catalyst for the change. 

Chapters 5 & 6: New Bonds

In Shang Tsung’s laboratory, the first thing Johnny does when he wakes up is check on Kenshi. He says his first name again, asks him about his pain, and states that he will not forget that Kenshi saved his life for the price of his eyes. 

Johnny himself is the one to give Kenshi his blindfold, torn from his own armor and placed over Kenshi’s eyes with his own hands. He is the one to give him the medicine and relieve him of some of the discomfort from his blinding in his own way. Johnny is the one who adds to Kenshi’s iconic character design; it’s forever associated with him and his kindness. 

When they’re finally able to escape the laboratory, Kenshi asks Johnny and Lao to leave him behind. Johnny refuses and wants to save Kenshi’s life. Kenshi tells Johnny that he is “useless” and that their lives do not need to be risked to save him. (He once again calls Johnny by his last name here, instead of calling him “Johnny” like he did hours before.) Johnny insists that the Taira needs him, and they’re going to get him back home and get him help. 

They walk through the Living Forest together near the back of the group; Johnny is the one who guides Kenshi around. Johnny continues to look back at Kenshi as they’re walking around to make sure he does not trip or stumble. He makes a remark about a movie he did that Kenshi reveals that he has seen before. Johnny comments on how difficult the scene was to shoot, but he is proud of the outcome. Kenshi says that he can “picture it exactly” and smiles for the first time since his blinding, a strong contrast to his earlier depressed state. 

They continue until they meet Ashrah and debate whether or not to hunt Quan Chi. When Kenshi steps forward to go, Johnny firmly tells him no, citing that they need to get him home. He’s visibly annoyed and perhaps even frustrated when Kenshi insists that they need to find Quan Chi to find Shang Tsung. In the end, Johnny is the only one opposed to continuing their mission. 

The penultimate moment of their development is the scene at the end of the chapter in which Sento is returned to Kenshi. Kenshi tries to fight Quan Chi, and Johnny is quick to tell him no, stating that Kenshi will trip up the others. He then asks Kenshi for his sword, and Kenshi hesitantly agrees. Johnny does what was previously established as impossible and gives Sento back to Kenshi. Kenshi is stunned, and then he tries to reject Sento. The one thing he has wanted for all this time, the singular reason that he hates Johnny in the first place, he tries to reject it. Johnny insists that it’s Kenshi’s now because he saved Johnny’s life. “It’s yours,” he says, and he means it. 

Chapter 6 largely focuses on the fight between the group and Quan Chi, but it’s the chapter in which Kenshi’s sight is “restored” with the help of his ancestors. After a fight with Ermac, Sento is imbued with the souls of Kenshi’s ancestors, who promise to help him. He is then able to sense his surroundings in a new form of sight, allowing him to fight as he did before. He also discovers his telekinesis soon after. 

Johnny and Kenshi have a brief exchange about Sento after this. Johnny jokes that he severely underpaid for Sento when he bought it and asks if Kenshi knew what it could do, which he did not. Johnny tells Kenshi not to forget who gave him the sword; Kenshi promises that he will not. They go back to calling one another by their last names, but instead of earlier in the story, when they were distant from one another and not friends, the use of last names here almost feels…kinder. Maybe even affectionate? Like calling a friend by their last name instead of someone that you dislike. 

These chapters are what solidify their bond. It starts with Johnny’s worry and concern over Kenshi’s well-being and safety, something that continues through the rest of the chapter. He checks on him in the dungeon, he is the one to give Kenshi medicine when he knows he’s in pain, and he motivates Kenshi to continue living when they leave the dungeon (and makes it known that he will help him however he can once they get him home). He makes it known that he’s willing to give up on Liu Kang’s mission, something that could potentially save Earthrealm, for Kenshi to be safe after losing his eyes. It’s one of the first things that Johnny clearly takes seriously. Until this point, he makes jokes about almost everything, but when it comes to Kenshi going home, he’s all serious and makes his opinion on the matter known. 

Their conflict regarding Sento is also resolved here. Just hours before this chapter, Johnny brings up the 3 million dollars he paid for it and his unwillingness to part with Sento unless Kenshi gives him the money. However, after Kenshi saves his life, Johnny gives it to him to potentially repay a debt. Kenshi essentially traded his eyes for Johnny’s life, and Johnny recognizes the importance of such a sacrifice. To him, giving him Sento is likely only the beginning of what he does to repay him for what he did. 

Their value in Sento differs greatly. Kenshi wants Sento because of the value it has to his family and their well-being. While Johnny seems to appreciate Sento’s history, the sword is still something with monetary value and something that helps Johnny “project” a celebrity image to fans. He is his possessions; he is what he spends money on. But Kenshi’s blinding makes him realize, in the worst way possible, that some things are more important than money. 

These chapters (4, 5, and 6) also show Johnny and Kenshi saving one another’s lives. Kenshi physically saves Johnny from Mileena in the laboratory by pulling her off of him before she can bite his face off. Johnny emotionally saves Kenshi when he’s at a low point following his blinding; he is the one to motivate Kenshi when he calls himself useless and asks the others to leave him behind, even if it means certain death. Johnny also helps save the Taira clan by willingly giving up Sento, something that he knows means a great deal to Kenshi and the rest of his family. 

Chapter 15: A New Arc in Their Lives 

The pair make a lengthy absence until the later chapters of the game, and they are not seen together again until the final scene of the final chapter when they are eating at Madam Bo’s restaurant. They’re sitting together on the same side of the table while Johnny talks about the location of his movie. He turns to Kenshi with a smirk when he laughs, and Kenshi assumes that Johnny will be the star of his franchise, as he always seems to be. 

Johnny then asks Kenshi to be in a movie, stating that no actor can do things quite like Kenshi. Kenshi openly admits that he would love to, but his work with the Taira keeps him busy. (However, we see in Johnny’s ending that he still involves himself in the movie-making process.) 

Liu Kang moves to leave for Outworld, and Johnny stops him to thank him for bringing them on as Earthrealm’s champions. He quickly glances at Kenshi before stating that joining him has truly changed the arcs of their lives, just like Liu Kang said it would. 

This final scene with them is just the beginning of those new arcs. Compared to their first meeting, Johnny and Kenshi have found a new respect for one another and a bond forged in a shared adventure and what looks like conflicting goals. By this chapter, they have undergone an entire arc of their own, and their lives are changed by one another as a result. 

Their new arc is only beginning.

[charlieslowartsies]

FINISHED MY TOOTHLESS PLUSH!!

Materials, info and some comments under the RM!

Toothless' Pattern I purchased

Materials: 6 yards of black minky 1 yard red minky 5 yards of Poly-Fil extra loft medium quilt batting 18 oz of poly pellets (4 oz in each foot) 2 Mainstay firm bed pillows for stuffing 1 spool of purple thread for the top stitching details on his tail, hip and main wings 2.5 spools of black thread Dark green, lime green, goldenrod and light yellow embroidery floss black acrylic paint white fabric paint Velcro one very old, small and cranky sewing machine who somehow survived this ordeal several comfort shows, podcasts, and music to listen to

This was my winter break project! Granted I started bits and pieces of the process in early December, but once my two weeks off hit he really started getting worked on lol.

I know it's hard to tell from photos, but he is A BIG CHONGUS. Toothless is 5.5 feet from head to tail tip, and has a 9 foot wingspan. He weighs about 8 lbs.

He took about 60ish hours and was very complex. My budget was $200 and he came in at $202! That includes things like the bulldog clips that I bought when he was being pinned because the minky was so slippery! This cost EXcludes a sewing machine, or things like an embroidery ring which my mom had, so I was very lucky in several areas—but he still was not cheap, either by expense or by time and sweat/tears!

Of course, the minky was by far the most of the cost, coming in at $122. I’d say the batting would be next, but I waited and snagged a good deal at my local craft store and got the batting for $18. I HIGHLY recommend buying bed pillows. The original maker of the pattern used IKEA pillows I believe.

I increased his size by 20%, so I printed him at 120% and guesstimated on the minky amount. My WORST mistake was forgetting to mirror the WINGS, which meant I had to recut two of the four pieces of fabric. (I should have marked it on the pattern, which I did mark well for things like number count.) Had I not done this, I would have used a lot less minky. I bought 7 yards and only needed 5.5 before my error.

(Now I’ve got scraps and a whole yard left sitting there whispering that it wants to be made into a Krobus plushie…who seems much less of a hurdle than Toothless.)

I stuffed Toothy’s hip fins and tail fins with one layer of quilt batting. His wings however, are double layered with the batting for extra plush, warmth, and durability. His eyes are hand embroidered (my first time!) but stitched on with the machine. Toothless has poly pellets in his feet to help support his bulk, but most of his weight is in his body, hips and start of his tail so he actually sits up really well.

He was a huge labor of love for sure! The pattern was great, the instructions were…less great. But my mom helped me figure out a lot of the troubling bits. Some parts were easy to follow and others were basically "bing bong fuck ya life." Despite that, I do suggest this pattern. But this is definitely an intermediate or advanced pattern. They also sell the eyes for those that have access to an embroidery machine.

I followed the pattern closely as I desired. I did omit the back spikes on his rear legs, and I couldn’t embroider his lil nose by hand ^^; I also did not make his blue alpha fins because of expense and mistrust in my own skills...also, I kinda wanted HTTYD1 Toothless haha. I love the series as a whole but the og movie is literally one of the reasons I went to college, and it went into my thesis as well.

I want to remake his prosthetic at some point when I have time and energy, but for now I’m pleased with 99% of him, especially since this is my first plushie I’ve ever made. I do not regret any of my personal changes and I’m totally in love with him.

[callsign-rogueone]

fireproof - b.s.

cadet!Brennan Sorrengail x cadet!reader (young Brennan and Duchess!) words: 1.4k 🏷: no book spoilers because this happens before the events of fourth wing hehe. more of bb bren and bb duchess. set soon after the events of allies, so read that first! near-death situation / mortal peril, but no actual injury happens. I promise these two will communicate their feelings soon lol

You come to a stop in front of Brennan’s door, heart pounding. You hadn’t thought about this part, and you’re not sure what to do; you don’t want to knock, don’t want to wake up any of the other cadets -- it’s still very much four in the morning, and you’re not supposed to be out of your room.

You’re not supposed to be talking to a second dragon, either, but here you are.

Brennan pulls the door open, sparing you the decision -- Marbh must have woken him up. He’s quick to usher you inside, scanning you for injury. 

“This is going to sound absolutely insane,” you breathe, “but Marbh is in my head right now.”

He blinks the sleep from his eyes, still not fully awake. “What?”

“Marbh is talking to me. I have no idea why or how, and for some reason, I can’t reach Ban to ask.”

You both hear the orange daggertail’s response at once. “She is otherwise occupied, so she sent me.”

“That’s not vague at all,” Brennan says aloud, exasperated.

“If you must know, she is defending herself to the Empyrean right now.”

Your eyes widen. “The dragon council? Why?”

“That is for her to explain to you.”

Brennan notices you’re fully dressed, your longsword sheathed across your back and a thick cloak covering your shoulders. “If you’re going to find her, I’m coming too.”

He turns to open the closet, digging through it for a clean pair of flight leathers.

Your eyes catch the dark orange of the relic spanning his back, your cheeks warming as you realize he isn’t wearing a shirt. You whirl around, averting your eyes, but the sight is already burned into your brain.

You’d never realized how toned he is.

Focus, you tell yourself, shaking the thought from your head. Ban could be in mortal danger right now. 

“Ready,” Brennan says, shouldering his sword.

It’s absolutely freezing out, still the thick of winter, though there’s been a break in the snow this week, so you don’t need to worry about leaving footprints as you cross the courtyard.

Brennan leads the way, taking a shortcut through a door you’ve never even noticed before. 

Making it out of the fortress is the easy part. You step into the wet grass, and you realize you have no idea where to go.

“Marbh?” 

Silence. Literal crickets. Great.

You gather the slack of the black string connecting you to Ban and pull gently, seeing where it leads. Northeast, to the flight field and the vale. You make the climb silently, worried that if you speak, you’ll somehow alert whoever is threatening Ban to your presence, or that you won’t hear them coming.

You’ve never been out here, never been allowed to -- you still aren’t, and you probably never will be, but you push the thought aside as you continue. It’s surprisingly deserted out here, which is as equally concerning as it is relieving.

It’s so dark out that you almost mistake the orange daggertail ahead of you for Marbh. Almost. 

Marbh isn’t missing an eye; this is Melgren’s dragon, Solas.

His jaws open, and you know there’s no time to run, to fight, to beg for your life.

You yank Brennan behind you, praying to whatever gods will answer that your body will be enough to shield him from the fire.

It is.

You hear the roar, feel the heat, see the grass on either side of you catch, but you’re protected by an invisible wall that extends from your outstretched hands, keeping back the flame.

You plant your feet, fighting to stay upright and to keep doing whatever this is. It feels like you’re pushing a thousand pounds uphill, but if you stop, if you falter for even a second, or it will cost both you and Brennan your lives.

The blast stops, leaving a wall of flickering orange fire in front of you that fades after a split second.

You nearly collapse as you step backward. You’re exhausted, soaked in sweat and overheated despite the chill of the night air, your heart pounding and lungs burning like you’ve been running for miles.

Brennan holds you up, undoing the clasp of your cloak to help cool you off.

The ground shakes with the landing of multiple dragons. If they’re as mad as Solas is, you’re absolutely cooked. You have no idea how to do that again, or if you even can.

You want to tell him how sorry you are that you’d dragged him into this, that you shouldn’t have knocked on his door to tell him, you should have just gone alone, that when you die together, you'll spend the rest of your afterlife making it up to him, that your biggest regret in life will be not telling him how you felt about him, that you--

“Sorry I’m late, noble one.”

You whip your head up to see a black leg next to you. Ban. She’s brought company — Marbh, and a giant brown swordtail that you’ve never seen before. Brennan’s eyes widen in shock, but he stays silent, his arms still wrapped around you.

Marbh does not greet you, instead stalking past you toward the other orange dragon and baring his teeth in warning.

Oh, gods, are they going to fight? If Solas kills Marbh, it’ll kill Brennan too.

The brown steps forward, cutting Marbh off and stepping dangerously close to Solas. They lock eyes for a moment, and Solas backs up, but the other takes a step forward, forcing him to retreat. Solas quits while he’s behind, taking flight and disappearing over the ridge.

The brown dragon looks back at you, satisfied with his work.

“Thank you,” you whisper to him, still terrified. If he could scare off Solas, he must be even nastier — or he must have said something to him that made a difference.

He nods his head at you in acknowledgment before he takes off.

The sun is starting to rise over the mountains, casting the scorched ground in gold. 

Brennan’s hands are on you instantly, checking you over for injury, but you’re more focused on the perfect half-circle of green grass beneath you that hadn’t been burned.

“You’re a fire wielder,” Ban answers, sensing your confusion. 

You breathe a sigh of relief. Finally.

It had taken Brennan just over two weeks to discover that he was a mender, the rest of your class following suit quickly. You're the only first-year who is yet to attend Professor Carr’s lectures. 

You were beginning to think you might not have been going to get a signet at all.

“We never doubted you for a second,” another voice purrs -- not Ban or Marbh.

You startle. “What?”

A different one replies, a gruff male who sounds absolutely terrifying. “We’ve been watching you with great interest. I now understand what she saw in you on conscription day.”

This has to be a dream. There’s no way that four dragons are in your head right now.

“You’ll get used to it,” yet another adds. Five? 

“How many of you are there?” you ask aloud, eyes widening.

Another answers. “A dozen, for now. I am sure that many others will come to accept you in time.”

“Accept me? What?”

“As a human ambassador,” Marbh replies, as if it’s obvious. “We haven’t had one in nearly a century. It was about time.”

You notice a new string now sits beside the one you share with Ban, multiple threads of different colors twisted together into a thick rope.

You laugh in shock, processing. “But why me?”

“Because of this,” Brennan says softly, touching your forehead, “and this,” he rests his fingertips against your chest, keeping them there.

Your eyes meet, and you feel that magnetism you’d felt the day he’d first spoken to you. Your heart races under his hand.

“The boy is correct. You are the first in two human generations with this deep of a respect for our kind.”

You’re still looking at Brennan. You bring a hand up to grasp his, completely forgetting about the soot coating your fingers. It smears against his skin, leaving streaks of black across his knuckles, but neither of you seem to mind.

“Now would be an excellent time,” Ban prods.

You part your lips, working up the courage, but someone else speaks first; a human, that Brennan hears too, and the both of you freeze, turning toward the voice.

“Of all the students that I’d think to find sneaking out, you two were certainly not on the list.”

Professor Kaori. He looks thoroughly unamused, eyeing the four of you and the burned patches on the ground with suspicion.

Brennan looks back to you, and you nod in permission — there’s no lying your way out of this, not when the whole riot will know of the night’s events in a matter of minutes.

“You’re gonna want to hear her out, Professor.”

[maarrgarr]

The Unknown Heir

part one

masterlist of the Unknown Heir

Gojo Satoru x fem! reader

Synopsis: The reader returns after being gone for two years and leaving her boyfriend, Satoru, without giving him a reason. But now she doesn't come back alone.

Warnings: English is not my first language, possible grammatical and spelling mistakes, mentions of unprotected sex, some plot changes.

Two years. Two years and something more had passed since you left, since you left him. And also since the light of your life was born, your little baby.

And now you were returning to the place you once considered home, to the Tokyo Metropolitan Magic Technical College. Where you had met wonderful people and some not so wonderful, but above all, where you met the love of your life, the father of your child, the strongest shaman, Gojo Satoru.

You and Satoru had met at that school, but you both knew of each other's existence long before. You were the heir to the Mochizuki clan, one of the four great jujutsu clans. Therefore he knew you and obviously you knew the heir of the Gojo clan, the heir of the six eyes.

Your family had always been shitty. They were nothing but self-centered, murderous old men, who had raised you to be the best, and you were, being classified as a special class shaman.

Unfortunately, your clan, besides being known for its powerful cursed technique, had a reputation that some members could fall into madness, and your greatest fear was always that, and one of the reasons why you left without a trace.

You and Gojo didn't like each other very much at the beginning, or well, actually you didn't like him and his constant flirtations with you very much. Who you did like from the beginning was Shoko Leiri, and Satoru's best friend, Geto Suguru. The betrayal of the latter was another reason why you left.

You and Satoru started out as rivals with benefits, and then friends with benefits. Until feelings arose between the two of you, and after some back and forth, you became a couple.

Good sex was something that was never lacking between you. You both knew each other perfectly well, you knew what the other liked and didn't like. And it is also worth mentioning that you were quite careless, sometimes you took care of each other and sometimes you got carried away by passion and he ended up cumming inside you. And that's how you ended up pregnant by Gojo Satoru.

You remembered the day you found out like it was yesterday, your best friend, Shoko, was the only one who knew. But, even though she tried to convince you to tell Satoru and that everything was going to be fine, the anguish you felt not knowing what to do, overcame you, it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

You were so tired of your family, which had pressured you and mistreated you psychologically all your life. Your best friend, who you considered a brother, had betrayed you; and now this, you were pregnant and you didn't know how Gojo was going to react. You both loved each other deeply and you knew it, but at the same time you were so immature, and, although you didn't say it openly, you were so broken by Suguru's betrayal. There was no way they could take care of a baby, which was a huge responsibility.

So one night, you got up from the bed you shared with your boyfriend, as tears fell from your eyes you left a soft kiss on his forehead, grabbed the suitcase you had assembled earlier and without saying anything to him you left the room. You approached the room where the little Fushiguru siblings were sleeping, and gave a little kiss to Megumi and another to Tsumiki, and wished them eternally a good life. You left a letter on the table that only said: "I'm gone, don't look for me", and you left.

Before leaving for the country you had planned, you went to say goodbye to Ieiri, who was probably awake at the time, and she was. When she opened the door and saw you standing there with suitcase in hand, it did not cost her much to decipher what your decision had been, "Are you sure?" she asked you and you could only nod your head, because you really were not sure, "Please take care of him and do not mention anything about the pregnancy" was what you asked her before leaving, both knew who you were referring to. Shoko didn't judge you because she didn't know what it felt like to be in your place, so she just let you go, but she made you promise to keep in touch with her and you did

The pregnancy was quite complicated. You were in a new country, where you knew no one, so you were alone, alone with a baby inside you. Coming from a powerful clan, you had enough money, at least to be able to stabilize yourself and live comfortably for several months. But obviously you weren't going to sit around waiting until you ran out of money, so you went out looking for a job, you were very lucky in that respect. You met a very nice lady who owned a real estate agency and she gave you a job there.

Everything was going well, but you missed your friends so much and mainly, Satoru. You missed everything about him, his kisses, caresses and even his jokes that drove you crazy. There were many times when you wondered if you should go back and tell him everything, but you were afraid.

So several months later your son, Mochizuki Ryusei, was in your arms. It had been a bit of a complicated delivery but you managed. To your bad, or good, luck, Ryusei looked just like his father, the same color hair and eyes.

He had inherited, apparently, the power of the six eyes and, therefore, the unlimited curse technique, which made you a little uneasy.

Your son was the future heir of the Gojo clan, although no one knew it.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

this is a slight detour from your usual subject matter but i'm very curious about your experience renting a high-quality camera lens? how did you go about doing that and have you been pleased with how it worked out? (the changing of hands i mean, it's clear you're happy with the lens!)

i didn't know this was a Thing before and now i'm wondering if i might be able to try that myself!

Oh yeah, it's absolutely the best thing if you can't afford fancy lenses / want to try out new gear / just need something for a special occasion.

There are places you can rent online that will ship you gear, and depending on where you live you can often also rent from local camera stores. I've done both!

Right now my main practice is renting lenses from LensRentals, which is an online company that ships out of Tennessee. They've got pretty reasonable rental prices, and they don't charge a deposit - but you do sign a thing saying if you damage or lose it, they can charge you. You can also pay for insurance on the rentals against damage or loss which would mitigate a lot of that cost if something went wrong. I've heard a range of opinions about them, but I've pretty much always had a good experience with them and gotten stuff on time that worked correctly, and their customer service has been really responsive for me when we had some snafus with shipping stuff back lately. One thing they do that I really like is their system is set up with an option to ship directly to FedEx stores for you to pick up, which means I don't have to worry about a package containing pricey gear getting stolen or rained on.

LensRentals also is willing to let you buy their rental gear, which is what I'm hoping to do before I send the really nice huge telephoto lens I've been using back tomorrow. They'll take some of the price of your rental off the purchase cost - it isn't a ton, but it generally covers sales tax and maybe a little more. I like it as a way to purchase used gear because I can see the condition before I commit, and I've had it in my hands and gotten to use it a bunch. That's how I bought my first real digital camera like a decade ago, and where I got my current camera and starter lenses.

If you've got a local rental store, I absolutely encourage going through them! I've done that when traveling - there have been some times I wanted a specific piece of gear to test on a habitat - and it's worked out really well. Plus, supporting local businesses is always the right choice. They'll often all operate a little differently, but it's nice to know people IRL who can help you decide what gear to use or just nerd out with you. Sometimes local places will ask for some type of deposit to make sure you bring the gear back, and TBH if that's within your budget it's perfectly reasonable.

Unfortunately, the local rental place in my area charges a deposit to your credit card for the entire worth your rental until you bring it home, and my credit limit isn't high enough that I can float a hold for that (e.g. upwards of four thousand dollars for the two lenses I'm using lately) and still be able to, y'know, use my card, so I go with online rentals. It drives me up a wall! I'd really like to support local businesses and minimize shipping costs / carbon emissions.

If you think you'd like to rent some gear to try out, I recommend it! Just make sure you know what's compatible with your camera, you've got a safe way to transport and store the rental when you're not using it, and that you know the terms up front. It's been such a fun way to play around and see what I like and what works well for me.