#but he really was past his limit
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“My greatest fear is to waste away the rest of my life in endless regrets”
“I still hope that a flicker of light will appear in my heart”
“I am waiting for karma to liberate spirits, liberate souls and liberate me -even though I am already too determinate to let go”
“If I get rid of these inner demons, would you forgive me?”
“Gaining freedom from destiny, starting all over again”
HOLLY FUCKING SHIT MAN
#he wanted to die#too stubborn to kill himself#but he really was past his limit#waiting for karma to liberate me#damn boy#his whole existence really died with xxc#TT_TT#que més es pot dir#mdzs#the untamed#yi city#xue yang#xiao xingchen#xuexiao#thanks mdzs for the chronic depression
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came back just to post these. okay bye
#gbf#belifaa#did you get triple zero (summon)? the sanfaa scissoring summon? SSS? i sierotixed it. It was awesome. Everythung in gbf is going right for#e except for the fact that i had to sieroticket it but its alright. just the notion of so much lucilius is just enough to put me back on my#feet again it’s almsot unreal how much lucilius-centric stuff theyve pushed out the past few months. his GBVSR debut. his summon.#Omg when I saw the gbfes fashion show i was a few seconds behind zen and she told me “You wont believe this” and I was like “WHAT? BELIEVE#WHAT? WHAT? WHAYT DO YOU MEAN” and the official lucilius cosplayer walked out in his robes it felt unreal unreal like it was seeing my onl#dreams come true after years and years of being like Theres no way they’d do that. There’s no way they’d make a cosplay for lucilius in his#robes because hes in his void outfit forever. BUT THEY DID…..AND THERE WAS BLOOD UNDER HIS SKIN….AND HIS LIPS WERE GLOSSED…AND HE HAD A LIT#LE BIT OF TAREME AND TSURIME (TARIME) ACTION ON HIS EYES AND EVERYTIME HE WALKED HIS ROBES KIND OF FLUTTERED AS HE SHUFFLED ALONG I HAD TO#SIT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR lay down on the bathroom floor and I almpst puked from how nauseous it made me i was OVERJOYED BEYOND MY PHYSICAL#LIMITATIONS OF HAPPINESS . I WAS SO HAPPY. THIS YEAR HAS BEEN UTTERLY MISERABLE FOR ME AND I HAVE NOT BEEN THIS DEPRESSED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL#BUT SEEING LUCILIUS like this genuinely blew me off my socks . I don’t know if i should be 100% thankful because I’ve been trying to figure#out how to balance my emotional state with the media i consume but#I think i really needed it. thank you lucilius for ending my 2023
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So fucked up that obimaul is a rarepair. What do you mean not everyone is obsessed with enemies to lovers with a Force connection, where one side is completely obsessed with the other who barely acknowledges him (but is just as affected)
#hm i should make an original post tag#obimaul#like. say what you want but obi-wan saw a random dathomirian zabrak and immediately went 'maul?? alive??'#he DOES care about maul he just doesn't actively seek him out like maul does#post prompted by this song that makes me think about Maul in his crime lord era‚ all the luxury of the world within his reach‚#but none of it satisfies him because what he really wants is to find (and kill) kenobi#'another night up in the best suite; everything's gone wrong already‚ my body admits; dreaming so high the floor is the limit;#once again i got lost.. [...] another night i give myself‚ top of a skyscraper; i'm the king of the world‚ dreams for rent;#and when i look at myself i sigh with a low voice‚ 'i don't feel bad i just feel nothing''#(<- song is são paulo‚ 2015 by jão)#it's a song about feeling dissatisfied with the life of fame because there's an emptiness he can't fill with sex drugs or luxuries#and from the context of the album it's likely he's thinking about a past lover he's still not over#so. imagine with me.#i might make something out of this. maybe.#but like. posting about songs that make me think obimaul thoughts. not very productive. almost no audience.#... and while making this post i've been attacked by yet another song with a very obimaul words#'lie to me‚ run from me‚ we swear it doesn't count‚ in this way of ours‚ but it's not because i hate you that i can't kiss you anymore'#<- pilantra by jão and anitta
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So this took me way too long...
I didn’t add the wings/hood thing because I actually do value my own sanity, and also his shoulders, but I might add it in later once some of that has replenished
Anyway enjoy Archon outfit Venti
#genshin impact#genshin venti#genshin art#venti art#*ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*#i wasnt kidding ive been working on this on and off for about a month#more so the past few weeks#i actually did start drawing the wings and such but decided i would rather die#the gold was the worst#im going to have reoccurring nightmares about shading gold for awhile#i was so happy with the torso and archon mark only for it to get mostly covered by the lyre#also i didn't notice how inconsistent his outfit is in the manga until i was literally scrutinizing every little detail every other second#i wish i could see exactly how many hours i spent on this because i really think it's more than it should be#I started the lineart for this in september#also i actually reached my layer limit on the program i was using#which was only 255 but i've never actually hit it before#anyway yeah here's the bi-monthly drawing#see you in feb ig#but fr i probably will do the wings and post it again on my alt just cause he deserves it#but feather shading ugh#and it would have covered up his shoulders that i worked so hard on#pls for the love of god tell me it looks ok cause im mentally broken#venti get a simpler outfit goddamn#if you can't tell im going for a tagging world record#i just know tumblr is gonna nuke the quality and it saddens me#i'm never doing full body again#for some reason i feel the need to apologize for this#can you tell i couldn't decide on a background#those thighs tho#thats gonna be my last remark
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Okay, so, life update in the tags
#i speak#i know i've vague posted about a guy a lot#and it may be a little soon to make any update/announcements#but hey#anyway there's a guy#we've been friends for awhile. but recently circumstances have changed#before he was Very Off Limits#and now he's not#long story#and shortly after that he started flirting#and. idk. past two weeks have been a whirlwind.#officially we're 'talking'#but. idk he's super sweet and cute and funny and just. i'm really happy. ^-^#trying to keep my head on my shoulders a bit#because again. realistically. it's been two weeks tomorrow since he started flirting.#wasn't even really on his radar before#and again. off limits before.#but.... idk i know 'i've never felt like this' is a cliche but as someone who's only had one relationship#and a couple of almosts#i really never have#and i know feelings aren't everything#again. trying to keep a level head.#but... yeah. ^-^ ✨️
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The Altered Beast[FULL SUITE] COULD be arthur bennett or adjacent to whatever hes got going on in tha finale. if ur brave enough. IF UR BRAVE ENOUGH [tldr its just about Things eating Things and becoming New Terrible Things. it also fucking jams]
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#POSTED THIS ON TWITTY ALREADY BUT I NEED MORE SKULLS TO CRAWL INTO. LET ME IN UR HEAD LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN#I LOOOVE THE MURDER OF THE UNIVERSE ALBUM SO MUCH. YOU WILL LISTEN TO PSYCHEDELIC PROG ROCK. YOU WILL#YOU WILL GET HIGH AND SCARED. YOU WILL CRACK OPEN YOUR HEAD SO I MAY ACCESS THE GRAY MATTER WITHIN.#its good music but the STORY OF JUST THE ALTERED BEAST IS NEAT AS HELL#U TELLIN ME THIS PERSON WHO WAS ORIGINALLY SCARED OF A BEAST NOW WANTS TO ASSIMILATE INTO IT#TO OVERPOWER IT. TO BECOME IT. AND THEN IT CHANGES HIM IN WILD WAYS. AND NOW HE NEEDS MORE BEASTS#YOU TELLIN ME NOW ITS JUST A MONSTER GOING OUT AND CONSUMING MONSTERS TO BECOME A MORE POWERFUL MONSTER#THATS SO FUCKING NEAT AND COOL. THATS WHAT I WANNA BE WHEN I GROW UP. I REALLY WANT ARTHUR BENNETT TO GET WORSE#I LOVE IT WHEN CHARACTERS GET WORSE. I NEED SOME PHOSPHOPHOLITE TYPE SHIT TO HAPPEN TO HIM#I NEED HIM INCOMPREHENSIBLE. yknow what is this a safe space. i have a confession#IT WAS A FUCKING COP-OUT FOR THEM TO LET ARTHURS BODY STAY HOT WHEN HIS FACE WENT TO 0 APPEARANCE#HIS WHOLE BODY SHOULDVE DISTORTED AND ROTTED. I WANTED ROT. I HIDE HIS FACE WHEN I DRAW HIM BC FUNNY CARTOON TROPE#BUT THERE ARE THINGS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE DARK. BONES HAVE SHIFTED AND FLESH HAS WITHERED AND DISTORTED. INHUMAN. BEAST.#COME OONNNN AND NOOOOWWWWW NOW HES MORE HES SO MUCH MORE. WHO KNEW SOULS COULD BE SO FUN TO EAT.#WHO KNEW IT COULD BE SO FUN TO KILL SOMETHING SO POWERFUL. TO BECOME SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL#VAMPIRES ARE SO NEAT BC THEYRE STICKY. THE FLESH JUST DOESNT SEPARATE THE SAME AS HUMANS. THEY LAST LONGER#BODY HORROR IS SO MUCH MORE FUN W VAMPIRES..I COULD TAKE A LIMB AND SMEAR IT OUTWARD INTO A FINE PASTE AND THE COLD FLESH WOULD STILL WRITH#IN MY HEART ATLEAST. WEEEEE!! ITS SO FUN IN HERE. IN MY BEAUTIFUL AND KIND HEAR.TS#I THINK IM RUNNING OUT OF ROOM. ANOTHER FOUL CONTRACT BOUNDING MY HUBRIS WITHIN ITS BASTARD LIMITS. ANWYAY IF U GUYS EVER WANNA GO CRAZY WM#IM HERE. IM HERE. I MIGHT READ UR MSG N THEN FORGET RIGHT AWAY SO SPAM ME IF U WANNA. HAVE FUNNN WEEEEE
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Logan speaking about his past in Succession 2x8 Dundee // Succession opening credits
#the way logan perceives the past as something inexplicable and vague and impossible to pin down.#I was thinking about how the show seems to reflect Logan’s worldview in a lot of ways — ‘life is a fight for a knife in the mud’— and how it#reflects his view of the past too.#like when he said the future is real but the past is all made up.#how all we get of the roy siblings childhood is images.#and he says images make it all seem simple but it’s never simple#and the siblings are always coming into conflict about what Really happened#because! the past is all made up and it wasn’t what they say. you know?#I wish I could have included more of this convo between Logan and Connor but. I’m on mobile and there’s a limit of 10 pics per post 😐#anywaayss#logan roy#succession#roy siblings#ruby (unfortunately) watches succession
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it’s with depression that i fear i have to say, i think for a long time (too long really), zuko doesn’t reach out to his uncle during his retirement in ba sing se, not even for the much needed guidance he could use, because he considers it part of the exhaustive list of reparations the fire nation (and he himself) owes
#zuko: he deserves peace too that’s what this is all for#and you zuko? your peace? (he doesn’t know the meaning of the word in relation to himself)#i’m sure iroh reaches out often. lots of letters#but for one zuko’s swamped and pushing himself past his own limits with his responsibilities besides#and for two he’s just as guilty about his treatment of his uncle as his treatment of the gaang if not probably moreso really#it is of course horribly misguided and i expect iroh would eventually show up on his doorstep like you IDIOT boy of mine—!#but until then. zuko is in fact being a self sacrificing and self hating idiot#i also think this is largely true to his character because he has no idea how to uphold normal and healthy relationships#obvi particularly familial#and zuko always deals in extremes when it comes to everything he does#so rather than outright cruelty and insults….he swings in the opposite direction and overcompensates….#by shutting iroh out completely#and justifying it as ‘he deserves peace and i do not’#which is completely incorrect of course on all levels#but he’s still learning and his development arc doesn’t end at the finale of book 3#ebb and flow. like water one might even say teehee#idk if this is canon to the comics i’m not super familiar with them except for a few plot points and quotes#it just breaks my heart that zuko still doesn’t understand that it is harmful to withhold himself from people who care about him#than it is to supposedly protect them from knowing him and being close to him#he makes me so emo hes so emo i love him so much
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FRIRNDO BLENDO!!!! Tell me your bmc glup shitto
THE GIRL AT SEV-ELEV
She's in ONE LINE of ONE SONG and NEVER APPEARS in canon and I MADE HER A MINOR CHARACTER IN A LONG COMIC™️ ON INSTAGRAM BACK IN 2019-2020
Backlog Part 31, circa March 13, 2020
This comic got me through covid/my senior year you have no idea
Plus the dtiys I hosted after the comic wrapped up, hot damn it's almost the anniversary HHHHHH
She's 19 at the time of the show (+ after vimh) so she's 3 yrs older than Michael, there are Some sex jokes shared between them but? Idk they're pretty minor all things considered. She's gay so we get that swert wlw mlm solidarity babyyy
#asks#the girl at sev elev#be more chill#michael mell#so i excluded the first panel of this part bc waaaah pic limit#but micha is listening to I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace when he comes in#and we see the date and time on his phone is nov 6 at 9:42pm#ITS ON NOV 6 bc thats after halloween AND when micha says 'some say i did [die]' its bc of the rumor mill spawned from the fire#bc he hasnt gone to school since halloween cuz hes being an angsty little shit#they havent learned each others real names by this point so they just call each other Red and Blue and Slushee Girl#god i miss this comic#and its sequel#i should really work on the third installment#BUT my current wip has consumed my lift for the past 3 yrs so#maybe later#ANYWAY YEAH UHH SLUSHEE GIRL IS MY BMC GLUP SHITTO#geez should i post backlog + its sequel here? it literally ended three years ago but#idk lmk#mj says shit
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morning☀️
#this could’ve been ending timeline but I add the bonten tattoo specifically to let you know I just enjoy thinking about-#dangerous mafia member haitani ran dating cute little ramen shop owner kawata nahoya#I think naho opens this shop with souya and they enjoy a slow paced lifestyle#but naho never stops longing for his past life as a gang member#I think he enjoyed that so much there’s something inside of him that craves for that violence and danger#maybe ran comes into his shop one day by total coincidence#and of course naho knows what he’s been up to he’s probably a very infamous criminal at that point#and ran really enjoys naho’s feisty personality#and he’s also a bit of a break from his own intense lifestyle#they start like this#omfg I want to talk about them so bad I think they fit so well#anyways in this post o realized tumblr out a word limit to tags🥴when did they do that#Tokyo revengers#ranley#nahoran#haitani ran#kawata nahoya#my stuff#tokyo revengers fanart#fanart
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In my hypothetical no-UD AU, Joyce and Bob are seriously dating but Hopper is friends with both of them and there are kind of flirtatious vibes all around. But Will and Jonathan are both just like “whatever, let’s not look at that too closely.”
#bob and Joyce have been dating for about two years#so Jonathan’s basically past the ‘is Bob secretly an awful person beneath his teddy bear facade’ phase#and most of the way through the ‘will Bob devastate Mom and Will by bailing if things get too real?’ phase#and about to enter the ‘why come to me when I am this’ phase#and the ‘I’m going to move to forks because Mom married a baseball player and doesn’t need me anymore’ phase#will is genuinely glad to have an adult man in his life who likes him in a benevolent and genuine and effortless way#but this is the story where lonnie dies and will doesn’t feel much about it#so he feels guilty about the gulf between his affection for bob and the nothing he feels for lonnie#even though it comes from a natural preference for people who are nice and care about him#Bob is well-meaning but he does not understand the depth of dysfunction going on#and he’s like well obviously lonnie wasn’t a good guy but he was their father and i should respect that#and will and jonathan are both like no thank you! we do not want that!#meanwhile Joyce is frustrated because she has actually achieved some stability for the family#and made it so Jonathan and Will can do have a more normal adolescence#but there’s never an actual conversation about this#and it’s really too little too late for Jonathan#so he totally misunderstands what she’s trying to do#and thinks she’s just sweeping his parentification under the rug because she’s embarrassed by it#meanwhile will is like I will be the most normal teen ever#(as long as he doesn’t have to play sports except track ig. he has limits)#this is supposed to be a fairly lighthearted story btw
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/ TAKING ALL OF U GUY'S KIND SUGGESTIONS !!!
#;ooc#ooc#wistrea#rotdame#nihilara#sosordid#IM LAUGHINGGGG#/initially i too thought i would be a b.lade enthusiast but im normal about him tbh#/W.ELT IS MY HUSBANDDDDD; in truth i feel like i technically could bc of past experiences with similar type of characters#/but i refuse to get on the other h.onkai's lore my brain is not that big YOUCHHH#/im just admiring him from the distance and pulling from my pocket a heart shaped necklace with his pic on it#HE IS SOOOOOOO!!!! w.elt....#S A M PO- i actually wrote him for a very very very limited time#he is the man s.lut i was refering to btw#/GREAT TIMING TO USE THIS S.AMPO ICON THEN-#/it was wayyyyy back when i first downloaded s.tar rail#/i think he would be a funny muse to write; i love him but i hate him but i love him but i h-#/A.VENTURINE MY BELOVED!! tho sometimes i waver with his type of character;#like; that effortless charm is sohard to GRASP- AUGH!#c.aelus is on the list of genuinely considering bc he's so silly and i feel like his character has a nice flexibility#FOR B.OOTHILL#he's the reason i came back- alongside a.venturine's appearance#SO UMM UMMM UMM#ALAS-#also really love m.arch too; d.an h.eng
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yeah i'm one spoon away
from setting the ends of my hair on fire
if i'm kindling for a little while
at least i'll feel of use...
promise me that you'll start where i end
and i promise to give you everything that i am
and it goes on, and on, and on...
we'll go on and on and on
in the end all i hope for
is to be a bit of warmth for you
when there's not a lot of warmth left
to go around.
#(aka one of thor's many many many musical anthems that resides in my head)#(like gosh this song is PERFECT for the kind of thought processes that thor goes through on the daily?)#(the constant stress / the feeling you're only of use when you're burning alive)#(being happy and contented with that in a twisted kind of way because you may be burning but your kindling-)#(-will keep others warm like haha wow)#(really is the embodiment imo of thor's particular brand of self-sacrifice)#(steve does it for justice and standing up for the little guy which is honorable in and of itself)#(it fascinates me CONSTANTLY that thor legitimately does a similar thing...out of nothing and for nothing but the sake of love)#(whether it's love for his family / his homeland / for earth / for the people who live all across the universe)#(he just loves??? ALL of it. and of course there are some limits and he's not going to bumble over himself-)#(- to love another. but the idea of quasi-unconditional love that stems from this guy in his own way)#(i've always loved that about him and his values as a superhero the most)#(honestly i've loved steve's version of it too but having deep-dived into both men the past couple months)#(thor comes out on top every time)#( music . ) — the spirit of thunder is to be heard .#( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .
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do I think bleach is a good manga, narratively speaking? no
did I enjoy reading it anyway? absolutely
#maria rambles#bleach#if nothing else it gave me a lot of characters I genuinely love#and an interest in looking for fix it fics#but really just. I have so many complaints. and they’re going in the tags so I’m not bothering anyone with them#I don’t love ichihime as a pairing but it isn’t strictly because I don’t like Orihime#I don’t think she was given enough chances to really develop as a character. she flatlined after a while and it was really frustrating#she never really gets a chance to prove herself since TYBW really limits where she actually steps in to help#and past a certain point she basically functions as a conscience for ichigo to bring him out of his hollow form#the other problem is that Rukia gets the same treatment#she gets sidelined so often after the soul society arc. she gets her ass handed to her in nearly every fight#and she and ichigo can’t even be seen together as friends in the final arc. they’re literally almost never in the same place at the same#time. because they had to push the fact that her love interest was renji and ichigo’s was Orihime#don’t even get me started on chad#that poor guy had Zero relevance to the plot#he loses his fights on hueco mundo and literally never has a badass moment again#I don’t count TYBW because we don’t actually see him do anything#ishida is also a can of worms to me#not to mention all the captains/vice captains#WHY was the zombiefication of hitsugaya even necessary????#he came out of it immediately and then it was like. well. that happened. let’s move on#I realize Kubo was probably very pressed for time and had to get out all his plot points on a time crunch#but like. good god. that entire arc is a mess and a half#the only thing I really praise is bringing back the arrancars. but even then. they were barely relevant#ughhhhhhhhhh it’s such a shame because I really genuinely loved the start of this series
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panels I'll never move on from, part 1
#aot#snk#eremin#eren jaeger#i love this scene SO much!!!#the fact that their bond literally shaped this story... 😭#and imo eren wasn't only realising he wasn't free cuz he had never seen or heard of the things armin was talking about#but it's like he couldn't even imagine armin's dream cuz his mind was being limited by literal walls#idk how to explain it 😭 but it's like you can only think what you have words for??#anyway the fact that the look in armin's eyes completely changed eren's life... isayama im still mad at you but omg...#another thing that makes me insane is that little eren would spend time looking at the sky as if a part of him already craved for freedom -#- like... he never wondered about the outside world but his eyes were always looking /up/#i've never really talked much about aot here on tumblr but i've been thinking about it over the past few days and i kinda miss it#blue bird (naruto shippuden opening) was written for eren so true#sue talks#susy.txt
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Yes! It is a cut content, in game files! No known purpose, exists as just an icon.
I think the biggest key to why it was cut is... well, look at the color of the eyes in the box. They are baby blue color, and we know Maria has pale green eyes - same as Doll that does mirror her! I have this speculation that making Maria and the Doll the same person was sort of a last moment decision from the developers, and initially Doll maybe WAS just a standalone character and helper. Or based off someone else?
Also, Gehrman needing this repair kit would suggest way longer timeframe of Doll existing (real world I mean) - like to the point he’d need to fix her consistently. I think it could be another reason for cutting it; if cut dialogue lines by the Gatekeeper ( x ) are anything to go by, developers struggled to decide how long time ago Yharnam fell into this sorry place, reaching as far as one hundred of years idea at some point! So maybe removing it helped to further obscure the time passage and let players decide themselves!
ALSO knowing how laconic Soulsborne games are with important characters interactions, they’d need to limit it to one item per NPC - and Maria’s hair ornament pushed more on emotion and Gehrman’s deep sadness. Hunter helping to repair Doll would push more for forming the bond between Hunter and Doll instead and devs said ‘no, backstory between two existing characters is more important’. However IF you give Doll hair ornament, her (rare) prayer for Hunter gets an extra line about her wishing them a ‘peaceful awakening’, so... they actually did both with ornament choice instead!
#bloodborne#plain doll#dash commentary#as for aging in the dream - i go off the phrase from gehrman in his sleep that laurence is too late as he is too old now#which i don't know WHY he'd say if he did not age in the dream#it is really strange. he is supposed to be immortal since he is actually said in lore to hold flora back by belonging to her#how do you age and also not die? perhaps there is a limit past which it is just fatigue#he might be on his way to start looking more like pthumerian give it couple more decades... what a fate#god i have so many things to respond to all of a sudden... and such little time to rest before work#just be patient with me ok?#just hard period in the office. every darn july something apocalyptic happens there.
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